Main idea first grade
abstractmemes
2016.12.25 17:54 Chilly9613 abstractmemes
The first and very best source for abstract memes.
2021.02.19 02:00 BlinkShell
Blink is the first professional, desktop-grade terminal for iOS that leverages the support of Mosh and SSH.
2017.11.13 02:45 ftrotter Tattoo Fade
Before and (much) after photos of Tattoos. See how Tattoos fade over time. Any pictures that show fading will work.
2024.05.16 17:59 Liquidretro Best Gift for a new Maverick owner?
My dad's birthday is coming up soon and they took delivery of a 24 Maverick earlier this year. They got it mainly to flat tow behind an RV but he has been using it as a daily driver (in rotation) too now because he really likes it,
Anyways, I'm looking for gift ideas that other Maverick owners have enjoyed for their trucks. I know he needs some ratcheting straps for the bed, but I'm not sure what else.
I have a 3D Printer and have found the Ford FITS system, but it seems that hasn't really taken off, and there are more novilties than useful things for it. I'll probably print a few things anyways but I would be interested to see if anyone has any favorites too.
submitted by Liquidretro to FordMaverickTruck [link] [comments]
Anyways, I'm looking for gift ideas that other Maverick owners have enjoyed for their trucks. I know he needs some ratcheting straps for the bed, but I'm not sure what else.
I have a 3D Printer and have found the Ford FITS system, but it seems that hasn't really taken off, and there are more novilties than useful things for it. I'll probably print a few things anyways but I would be interested to see if anyone has any favorites too.
2024.05.16 17:58 The-Unseen-1 The awakening of the heart
 | Walking the Path together (Part 16)https://preview.redd.it/u6wtaco55t0d1.jpg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f5cb1d2af03896dc80a1cef190995ff5ea73d66Part 16: The awakening of the heart . . As the Mysterious Stranger and the Seeker leave the old castle behind, they continue on the snow-covered path. A path appears on the right side, following parallel to their own. The two paths merge into one, which leads towards a volcano. As they progress, another parallel path from the left side merges as well with the current one. . In the distance, the Seeker spots a building, where the path tilts uphill. A sign points at a crossroad. An intersection, between realms. The crossroads, where all timelines meet up: Where the westward and the eastward paths meets the northern road. https://preview.redd.it/6mvg5my85t0d1.jpg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9f4819fab52baca96b2ae9dc79b5c1ccf9ea7dd9 Where the paths meet, stands a tavern. The lights are on. The chimney is smoking. A sign shows its name: 'The Red Ditch Inn' https://preview.redd.it/f9g0wmx95t0d1.jpg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d1648534743e52a83d24e137c6d88b57c24a89a1 . . “Wanna get something to drink,” asks the Stranger the Seeker. “Sure, why not,” accepts the Seeker. . . Before he opens the door knob, the Stranger hesitates and speaks to the Seeker: “This is the bar, where the timelines of our souls meet up. This is the crossing of our life-paths, the intersection of fate. Be prepared, for what happens next.” The Seeker and the Stranger walk into the building. As they open the door, they are started by the loud conversations. The inn is full. Many tables with different animals of all species. . . The table in the center of the bar, has a label saying: 'Spirituality' Around that table sit all kinds of different birds and animals. Pigeons, squirrels, Reptiles, cats, dogs, wolves, foxes, crows, mice, sloths. They are mostly talking about crystals and past lives. https://preview.redd.it/y8fnhq406t0d1.jpg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2c646cb09f82c0fccb5dbc52b0516ad04c3959bd . . There was a table, which said: 'astralprojection'. There sat an old bear, who carries many scars, wounded by countless battles, teaching young bear cups, who attentively listen to their elders. Some are making notes. https://preview.redd.it/u39auly16t0d1.jpg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8a12d3b6456683101a8c19b70ed5b533886db56e Next to it, is a table with a label saying: 'Enlightenment' There sit some parrots all repeating the same mantra in unison: “BEFORE ENLIGHTENMENT CHOP WOOD CARRY WATER, AFTER ENLIGHTENMENT CHOP WOOD CARRY WATER.” https://preview.redd.it/446l8xo46t0d1.jpg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9845893e91cb4f74ff0a7cd322d12fe5b90162d4 . . There is another table, called: 'Awakened' There sit a caterpillar, a spider, a scorpion and an eagle. “You have an Ego,” shouts the caterpillar at the spider, pointing his finger. “No, you have an Ego,” shouts the spider back at the caterpillar. “You both have an Ego,” accuses the scorpion both the caterpillar and the spider. “Hey,” shouts the bird. “I am the eagle here!” https://preview.redd.it/h7lqop986t0d1.jpg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d1918922e7e405c0101c29dadd36921bc2aa8d9e . . Next to it, is the table of 'nonduality'. The chairs are completely empty. There is no one here. https://preview.redd.it/m6g30mv96t0d1.jpg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=62fc58adf8f16905982b6b082f352e62f0b9bd93 . . On the other side there is another table with many different birds and mammals, some more exotic animals from all around the world. The label says 'Soulnexus'. There is someone constantly screaming at the top of their lungs: “I AM A PROFFESIONAL PSYCHIC READER WITH 14 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE!” https://preview.redd.it/ua8so87d6t0d1.jpg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3934b0f88aeb2ed43206eb782083978beb83c93d . . One table next to it is called 'starseeds'. The people sitting there do not look like animals, but like strange aliens. Some small and green beings, others big and gray, some with fur, some with scales, some humanoid. They were mostly talking about the past, exchanging some old memories. Among them is a chicken, who wears an alien costume. . As one of the Grey beings stands up to go to the toilet, the chicken whispers to the others: “Psst guys, I think Fred may not be an actual Starseed.” https://preview.redd.it/yf5mxkin6t0d1.jpg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c5cd079ef9a9717d77077bc10fae0086c87ba446 The other beings around the table start mumbling. https://preview.redd.it/mpr2xh9o6t0d1.jpg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8f84d4bbe5d838ce742b7d76ca16986f07f61a19 . . There is one more table called 'psychonauts'. The Stranger walks towards their table. “Jo, wazzup Shawty,” greets the Stranger an old friend at the psychonaut-table, with a fist bump. “Long time no see.” . “Whoa, it's YOU,” responds the Tiger at the table, with red eyes, smoking his bong. “Last time I've seen you, I was like in DMT realm.” . “Is Burt anywhere around?” asks the Stranger. . . “He is sitting there in the corner,” responds Shawty. The tiger points at a traumatized racoon sitting in the dark corner. “I have seen too much,” mumbles the Burt the Racoon with eyes wide open, like a scratched record. “I have traveled too far... I have seen, what lies within the emptiness. Never again... I will never do shrooms again...” . . Suddenly the waiter taps the racoons shoulder, ripping him out of his thought loop. “Sir... Do you wanna order anything?” . “Do you have McKennaii?” “Yes,” responds the waiter. “Then I'll have 7 grams,” orders the racoon. https://preview.redd.it/cby20wa67t0d1.jpg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5822fdf6571cb03e2137629ac88f258294c0d59f . . The Seeker has a sudden thought and looks at the Stranger. “What does the ' slash' on the tables, stand for?” . “I don't know...,” shrugs the Stranger. “ It's probably to reserve the table at this inn.” . . . The Stranger looks at all the tables, they are all talking and talking. Some are playing poker, others are playing dart, some drunks fight each other. Others talk about their identity or their favorite dogma. Some are showing off, how enlightened they are. As they stand at the crossroads, they can either go Westwards, Eastwards and Northwards. Many have taken the western route, many have went eastwards, but they always ended back at the 'Red Ditch Inn' again. The newbies, were unsure, whether to go west or east. The experienced ones, knew it doesn't make a difference, they would end up at the bar again anyway. Some were stuck in the bar since many decades, they had given up hope to ever find a way out. But few of them ever dared to walk northwards. https://preview.redd.it/xnc7yukk7t0d1.jpg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3bf81669e821e6674aa1d5b0dc6f9484dcd63c03 The Stranger sighs, as he looks around. His eyes flame up, he inhales deeply and climbs on a chair. With a raised voice he speaks: . . . . “When did we lose our heart? We lost our heart collectively. Did we lose it, when we were still cavemen? When we had to survive the cold winters of the ice age? When we hunted down the last Homo Neanderthalensis? Or later on, when the first tribes waged war against each other? Did we lose our heart, when we enslaved each other? Did we lose our hearts, when we dropped atom bombs, or when we caused our first mass extinctions...The crimes, that Humans do in wars... All of us carry the sins of our forefathers on our shoulders. . . We lost our hearts individually. For the person it starts pretty early in their childhood. We lose our trust, when we are lied to. Almost everyone tastes the pain of Betrayal at least once in life. We are deeply wounded from childhood on. We learn early on, that humans hurt us and thus we become suspicious of humans. We learn not to trust each other. Because we are afraid of being hurt again. And so we close off our heart to protect it. . . What is the heart? I am not talking about the physical organ. I talk about this part in your 'soul', if I may call it that. It's like the core of our 'soul', of our 'astral body'. The centre of our 'energy' or chakras. We are afraid to open it, because it's very vulnerable. That's why we protect it. We are afraid to open it, because we don't trust each other. But unless your heart is open, you can never experience unconditional love. Its flame must be activated. The heart is your connection to everything. The heart is what connects you to 'source', if that's the word, you'd like to use. The heart is from where our love flows. We have cut off the connection and became separated from the ALL. We made love conditional. We split hating from loving, dislike from like and created duality. We became attached. We let ourselves be corrupted by the Ego. Now that we have closed the heart, what have we done to the world? . . We turned the world into a place, that almost no one likes. We created a society, that keeps us in narrow boxes. We made the world a lonely place, for everyone to be in. Even in groups, we often feel lonely. We allowed money to rule over us. We allowed ideologies to split us and dogmas to control us. We have so many different issues, that we just can't seem to overcome. Climate change. Wars. Corrupt politicians. Poverty. Starvation. Meaninglessness. Nihilism. Where should we start with all that mess? . . With ourselves. That is the place, where the transformation needs to start. We need to evolve. One person at a time. Only then, can the collective transform as well. We need to open the mind and the heart. To see and to feel. To be aware and to love. We need to find harmony within ourselves. End the inner conflict and find peace within. Find your own truest path. Let go of any limiting beliefs. Let go of any attachments. Forgive whoever needs forgiveness and apologize to clear your regrets. Find Love. Find your light within. See your light in all people. Love your enemies. Recognize the Ego, be aware of what makes it grow. Become aware of any negative thought patterns. Be disciplined. Clear your own shadows. Face your Trauma. Heal your inner child. Get free from all bodily addictions. Be free of fear. Be free of suffering. See the beauty of all things. Find joy in every moment. Surrender yourself. Follow the heart. Be proud and courageous. Accept your life and your story. Embrace your story, without being attached to it. Find your purpose. End the Seeking. Be your authentic Self. Express Love through your character. Become Love. . . . This is a possible path. And I just gave you the map. It can be walked. It was walked before. But it is a path into unknown territory. Only the bravest of you can walk this path. It's not for the faintest of heart. You see, you all either follow the path of the left and go westwards or you follow the path on the right and go eastwards... But no matter how far you go, you'll always end up at the crossroads again. You never make any real progress. What if there is another path? What if there's another way? What if I say, 'let us go north?!'” . . . Some of the crowd are in shock. Some are laughing. Others are mumbling. “You can't walk north,” says a crow from the projectors. “It's impossible.” “Everyone knows, that the northern road is a dead-end,” says an awakened Caterpillar. “It's a waste of time going up there. You can't go further, than the volcano.” https://preview.redd.it/r40gfkx28t0d1.jpg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1f2431635af381f0a9bee525d4e661ce6e45a0b9 A psychonaut horse laughs. “That will be fun. Can't wait to see their disappointed faces, when they walk all the way back down.” . . . . . The Stranger continues undeterred: . “Why are you walking the spiritual path? You felt called to do it, didn't you? You felt something within you. Something made click. You understood, that there is a deeper truth, that you must find. There was this deep longing within you. So you started walking. What were the first things, that you were seeking? You were seeking answers. What were your first questions? You were asking, 'What is my purpose?' You were asking 'Why am I here'? And you have searched in so many places. But no matter which answer you got, you were never fully satisfied. Because it wasn't your answer. Because it was someone else's answer. So you stopped seeking. Either you were content with some unfulfilling answers or you just simply gave up. When did you stop finding your own answers? Dogma or tradition give us easy answers. When we are attached to them, when we build an identity around them, we become unable to find our own answers. But you can't end Seeking with someone elses answers. Only when you have claimed the answer for yourself, can the Seeker transform into something different. Into something new. Just ending the Seeker, like cutting off a limb, won't do it. The Seeker needs to find their answer to the question 'What is my purpose?' Not one, they read from textbooks. Not an answer, that someone else can give them. When ONE has found their own unique purpose in life, then instead of 'seeking', there is only 'expressing'.” . . . “I see that you are advanced,” speaks an enlightened owl. “However you are blinded by idealism. When you stare into the abyss long enough, the abyss will stare back at you.” https://preview.redd.it/tyhax8ca8t0d1.jpg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=11df4212c1a8ea72fa5d000234c33710bffc7c3c “My friend,” says the Stranger. “I have not only stared into the abyss, I went to hell and back again to find my answer.” . . . Everyone falls silent, the Stranger continues: “It was always here on earth. Heaven. It was always within us. Take a look around you. There is beauty in all things. If you search for it, you can find joy in every moment. Look for love in the world and you shall find love everywhere. Meet Life with gratitude and wonder. Face your experience, like an adventurer faces his challenge. Express unconditional love through your very being. Because this is how we heal Humanities greatest wound: The scar of nihilism. It has all become so meaningless to us, hasn't it? Memorizing knowledge at school or college, that you'll never need in real life. This feeling of being stuck in life. Day to day, going to a dead-end job for minimum wage. Living an unfulfilled life. The shattering of broken dreams. The tears of our suffering. You know, why everything has become so meaningless? We let our hearts get cold. After falling, we stopped getting back up again. We stopped facing our challenges. You see, after every defeat, Humanity always got back up again. No matter how tough the challenge may seemed, Humanity never gave up. We have forgotten, who we are. All of us are Humanity. You, Me, everyone. We are all humanity. You, the individual human are HUMANITY. You are the Rest of mankind. Because we are all the same in our essence. When you open your heart, then this is your name: 'HUMANITY' Because you see yourself in every other human. This is the name of the divine spark that sits within all of us. It is the fire, that burns in our eyes. This is Humanity: An archetype of victory and an idea of unity. Let me ask you a very direct question. If we all came together to do our part, do you think that we could actually clean up the mess we have created? Do you think we have a chance of not only to survive but even to evolve as a species? And perhaps write even greater stories, than ever before?” . . . . . The entire crowd is silent. Most of them avoid eye contact. People start mumbling. Then the crowd slowly gets louder again and the conversations on each table, continue as if nothing ever happened. As the Stranger steps down from the chair, a monkey gets up from one of the tables, points his finger and screams: “Look guys, this dude has ketchup on his outfit.” . . While the crowd laughs at him, the Stranger goes to the bar and orders two beer. While he waits, he rubs off the ketchup stain from his clothes with his fingernails. People are looking at him and the Seeker. The Seeker can't bear standing next to the Stranger and leaves the tavern. The Stranger pays for two beers. 140 Pesos. He then follows the Seeker outside. https://preview.redd.it/7ph64bps8t0d1.jpg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b2492025ebf3dd76f7fce33da83fefe761f4deca “Wanna go already?” asks the Stranger while sipping from his beer. “Those guys hate you now,” sighs the Seeker. “Who cares?” shrugs the Stranger, while gulping down the beer in a single go. . . . A couple of animals exit the bar. All the animals, that had no place to fit in. All the animals that didn't belong. A rabbit, a cat, a goldfish, a squirrel, a bear, a fox, a goat, a pigeon, an eagle, a chicken in an alien costume and a dog. . “I will also follow my destiny,” speaks the eagle with determination. His heart is also activated. . https://preview.redd.it/7lcknwky8t0d1.jpg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4fc53b343d407311dd59f50cb23c910754a357ff . “Alright,” says a bear with burning eyes. “Let's try going north... Perhaps this is how we'll finally get to Axis Mundi.” . “Going north... that sounds fun,” says the smiling fox. “Let's see how far, we'll come.” https://preview.redd.it/pxzr6rr39t0d1.jpg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=508c5a3cb8dbb8ad29887001e9f986ea52d509cd . “We are all gonna die anyway,” sighs the pessimistic goat. . “I never tried going north before,” contemplates the curious pigeon. . “10 bucks, that I am first at the top of the volcano,” bets the black cat, while looking at her claws. . “Deal,” agrees the dog, while hunting his own tail. . The rabbit thinks about the taste of carrots. She is hungry. . The squirrel is simply happy and excited for the new adventure. She can't stop dancing. . The goldfish has no idea, what he's actually doing. He just rolls around in a plastic bag. https://preview.redd.it/z0u1b1de9t0d1.jpg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=efc55fa42a8393145afc72cf7fcb2717c949d9f5 “I... I will also walk my path,” speaks up the brave chicken in an alien costume. For the first time, the chickens eyes start burning. . . . Together, the new group of friends are traveling the northern road. Towards the volcano. As the sunset illuminates their backs, the animals start singing a new song. A song of excitement, of wonder and of bravery. A song, that goes something like: “We have found a way.” https://preview.redd.it/y2z4ctni9t0d1.jpg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dc9d65d8b99cb576034852f18251b216720690ed . . . TO BE CONTINUED . . . for more content visit: We_Are_Humanity Find previous part Here https://www.reddit.com/We_Are_Humanity/comments/1cg7yqg/what_it_means_to_walk_togethe Find next part Here: . . START JOURNEY HERE: https://www.reddit.com/We_Are_Humanity/comments/17zwf78/the_seeker_and_the_mysterious_stranger_part_1_of_7/ . Checkpoint 4 https://www.reddit.com/We_Are_Humanity/comments/1cbhoml/turning_shit_into_gold/ |
2024.05.16 17:58 Sea-Chocolate-33 Dance recital photography advice?
Hi all!
I’m a hobbyist in the transition of starting up a part-time photography business. I’ve got about 20 family sessions under my belt and that’s the main area I’m passionate about, family and lifestyle photography.
I recently had an owner of a dance studio ask if I could photograph a dance recital in a couple of weekends. I let her know that I’m just starting out and have not done this before, she said she totally understood, this is nothing formal just looking for some candids of the recital, and she also thought it would be a good way to get my name out to families. She would like to pay me for my time but I’m hesitant since it’s my first time doing a shoot like this. Not sure how much would be fair to charge (it will be about 3 hours of my time)
I’m actually very excited and would be interested in learning about this type of photography, especially because my kids play sports and I would love to take photos of their games and recitals in the future.
My question is mainly about advice for shooting a dance recital, including gear.
Here’s my thought process: - I have a D750 which does well in low light scenarios. It will be dark and I’m sure flash will Not be allowed so I’ll be relying on best use of settings of my camera - In manual, I’ll play around with aperture and likely keep ISO on Auto, and will try to keep shutter speed fast at at least 1/500 if not more
Questions I have- - I only have a 35mm and 50mm lens, so likely will need to rent a zoom lens. Would 70-200 be a good option to rent? Will I be able to use this without a tripod and still get clear photos? - should I sit stationary in the audience, front and center, or plan on walking around? (It’s in an auditorium of a school)
Any advice is appreciated! I haven’t tried looking up YouTube videos but if anyone has a good one please send it my way :)
submitted by Sea-Chocolate-33 to AskPhotography [link] [comments]
I’m a hobbyist in the transition of starting up a part-time photography business. I’ve got about 20 family sessions under my belt and that’s the main area I’m passionate about, family and lifestyle photography.
I recently had an owner of a dance studio ask if I could photograph a dance recital in a couple of weekends. I let her know that I’m just starting out and have not done this before, she said she totally understood, this is nothing formal just looking for some candids of the recital, and she also thought it would be a good way to get my name out to families. She would like to pay me for my time but I’m hesitant since it’s my first time doing a shoot like this. Not sure how much would be fair to charge (it will be about 3 hours of my time)
I’m actually very excited and would be interested in learning about this type of photography, especially because my kids play sports and I would love to take photos of their games and recitals in the future.
My question is mainly about advice for shooting a dance recital, including gear.
Here’s my thought process: - I have a D750 which does well in low light scenarios. It will be dark and I’m sure flash will Not be allowed so I’ll be relying on best use of settings of my camera - In manual, I’ll play around with aperture and likely keep ISO on Auto, and will try to keep shutter speed fast at at least 1/500 if not more
Questions I have- - I only have a 35mm and 50mm lens, so likely will need to rent a zoom lens. Would 70-200 be a good option to rent? Will I be able to use this without a tripod and still get clear photos? - should I sit stationary in the audience, front and center, or plan on walking around? (It’s in an auditorium of a school)
Any advice is appreciated! I haven’t tried looking up YouTube videos but if anyone has a good one please send it my way :)
2024.05.16 17:56 FoundationDramatic86 Starting small freelancing in EU as a eu citizen but in which country?
Hey, I'm starting my career as an online teacher and I would like to relocate and live in relatively cheap EU country in the south. I have just started my freelancer career so my yearly income is in the beginning around 15 - 25k from the teaching. My idea is to bill clients mainly via paypal and I also get some income from Preply.
I have another remote job with spanish contract and from that my monthly income is around 1.3k. I'm currently living in Spain and I'm looking for cheaper options.
So far I have found:
Bulgaria
Slovenia
Cyprus
Do you have any experiences of these or better ideas?
I have been reading also about the US LLC option but it seems a bit difficult ( might be just lack of my info, tho)
I know that my business is small but you need to start from somewhere right?
submitted by FoundationDramatic86 to digitalnomad [link] [comments]
I have another remote job with spanish contract and from that my monthly income is around 1.3k. I'm currently living in Spain and I'm looking for cheaper options.
So far I have found:
Bulgaria
Slovenia
Cyprus
Do you have any experiences of these or better ideas?
I have been reading also about the US LLC option but it seems a bit difficult ( might be just lack of my info, tho)
I know that my business is small but you need to start from somewhere right?
2024.05.16 17:56 Outrageous-Till2753 reassurance maybe, protein, meals & eh (?)
hey hey hey i am backkk
honestly proud of myself, scared shitless, my ocd and probably the ed (still reluctant to call it that) keeps telling me i am eating too much, especially sweets and so on. but a few things first, i think the extremity of my hunger is somewhat slowing, i still eat a lot but it has been somewhat slowing down, currently i eat whenever i think of food and i ask myself what it is that i am craving, 90% of the time it seems to be something sweet, so i usually role with that.
more recently my brain is telling me that since the hunger isn’t as extreme or physical i really don’t have an ed or ever had one.
on another note, people have voiced their concern as to me falling on “the other side of the spectrum”, i.e. BED. i guess. that kinda makes it a bit hard to honour hunger. i guess i also feel like it shouldn’t be this fun, which is a dumb thing to even say out loud. but i feel i should suffer more, have more physical hunger, instead i’m just downing jars of nutella and enjoying pancakes and cooking for friends.
i still have strength aspirations and while i know i am discouraged to exercise during this period it feels so good how strong i am getting with all this food and how my energy is high. i turned off all calorie tracking devices and hid my scale far away and exercise in a way that truly makes me happy id say, i’m taking more rest between sets, doing lifts that i enjoy versus ones that i used to do only for aesthetics and so on.
another thing is social media. having been overweight before my ed, and having been a slightly high normal bw before being ow i am obviously curious where my hunger places me. i’d like to believe i’m fine with anything but since i recently lost weight i am scared of people thinking i got lazy and so on. another thing is i keep seeing these influencers on instagram posting “transformations” and every time i can’t help but think, holy shit i did that too and now i’m “throwing it away”. knowing that whatever i did ended up in me going to sleep hungry on my birthday, having so little fat mass on my ass that it hurt to sit down, having eye infections like m&ms and counting the calories in sugar free chewing gum and diet soda, 0kcal ice cream etc. sometimes i wonder if there is a place in the middle and if i can do it and if i really have to be overweight again in order to be normal around food. scary stuff and it’s making me really want to go back to counting and tracking.
next and last thing, sorry for this long ass rant, i would like to optimise my protein intake a little even during this period, i am somewhat scared the idea of tracking will lead me down the rabbit hole again. but at the same time id like to get a sufficient protein intake to help with training, however i am craving literally nothing but sweets right now, it’s kind of crazy. i tried adding protein powder to my oatmeal and drinking protein but i don’t think it’d be enough.
well yeah, end of rant. i am doing ok mentally but it seems a bit out of control around me. appreciate any reassurance and tips guys
submitted by Outrageous-Till2753 to fuckeatingdisorders [link] [comments]
honestly proud of myself, scared shitless, my ocd and probably the ed (still reluctant to call it that) keeps telling me i am eating too much, especially sweets and so on. but a few things first, i think the extremity of my hunger is somewhat slowing, i still eat a lot but it has been somewhat slowing down, currently i eat whenever i think of food and i ask myself what it is that i am craving, 90% of the time it seems to be something sweet, so i usually role with that.
more recently my brain is telling me that since the hunger isn’t as extreme or physical i really don’t have an ed or ever had one.
on another note, people have voiced their concern as to me falling on “the other side of the spectrum”, i.e. BED. i guess. that kinda makes it a bit hard to honour hunger. i guess i also feel like it shouldn’t be this fun, which is a dumb thing to even say out loud. but i feel i should suffer more, have more physical hunger, instead i’m just downing jars of nutella and enjoying pancakes and cooking for friends.
i still have strength aspirations and while i know i am discouraged to exercise during this period it feels so good how strong i am getting with all this food and how my energy is high. i turned off all calorie tracking devices and hid my scale far away and exercise in a way that truly makes me happy id say, i’m taking more rest between sets, doing lifts that i enjoy versus ones that i used to do only for aesthetics and so on.
another thing is social media. having been overweight before my ed, and having been a slightly high normal bw before being ow i am obviously curious where my hunger places me. i’d like to believe i’m fine with anything but since i recently lost weight i am scared of people thinking i got lazy and so on. another thing is i keep seeing these influencers on instagram posting “transformations” and every time i can’t help but think, holy shit i did that too and now i’m “throwing it away”. knowing that whatever i did ended up in me going to sleep hungry on my birthday, having so little fat mass on my ass that it hurt to sit down, having eye infections like m&ms and counting the calories in sugar free chewing gum and diet soda, 0kcal ice cream etc. sometimes i wonder if there is a place in the middle and if i can do it and if i really have to be overweight again in order to be normal around food. scary stuff and it’s making me really want to go back to counting and tracking.
next and last thing, sorry for this long ass rant, i would like to optimise my protein intake a little even during this period, i am somewhat scared the idea of tracking will lead me down the rabbit hole again. but at the same time id like to get a sufficient protein intake to help with training, however i am craving literally nothing but sweets right now, it’s kind of crazy. i tried adding protein powder to my oatmeal and drinking protein but i don’t think it’d be enough.
well yeah, end of rant. i am doing ok mentally but it seems a bit out of control around me. appreciate any reassurance and tips guys
2024.05.16 17:56 Plastic_Finish1968 The Long Walk Home: chapter 10 (Tall Dark and Extraterrestrial)
Have you ever witnessed the first formation of life? I mean, I've seen my children, I was there for every step of the process if you know what I mean. Hah. But what I'm talking about is from beyond the beginning. The molten slag of a planet forming over millions or even billions of years into a habitable plane. Have you seen, from that very point, chemicals coalescing and reproducing? Amino acids and the forming proteins?
Well today, I found out, when you die in the crypts, you don't see a light in the end of a tunnel. You witness something truly beautiful and pointless.
I watched the birth of life from nothing. Short molecular protein chains. No cell walls, no encasing membranes. If DNA or genetic code of any kind was in their descendant's future, it wasn't present now. I watched it cling to the surface of rock, self-replication fueled by the warm free energy of a sun, millions of generations, hard work, decay, and new growth, only to be destroyed by a crashing wave. The weak hydrogen bonds were broken, as simple as that. The ancestor's hard work gone in a single blink-and-you-miss-it moment. Somehow I knew, wherever this was, that was all the life that planet would ever see until it was swallowed up by its star.
It was a quick fleeting spark. All the dramas and soap operas in the world could have taken place in a single raindrop. A unique potential, unlike any others, this planet's chosen ones, snuffed out before it could evolve to breathe its first breath. Rather grim isn't it? I don't know why I dreamt it, but there it was, a pointless creation followed by an equally pointless destruction. I guess it was a nice commercial break from the missing-arm-induced pain i was suffering. A wonderful hilucination, if a bit mocob.
Anyway, back to my unimaginable blood-curdling, mind-wrenching torture porn session. My eyes were closed a very long time, but when they did open, I was finally where I should be. Horizontal in a hospital bed, surrounded by trained surgeons. That said, it was on an alien world, and the surgeons were not trained in human biology. What's worse, they had no way to dull the pain.
Death would have been a blessing, unfortunately, the doctors were good, in spite of the unknown make, model, and engine size laying before them. 5 hours under an experimental knife, and I think an arc welder, is what it took to reattach my arm and fix my internal organ damage. 5 hours of poking and prodding and searing and stitching and pulling and zapping. All things considered, I am impressed it only took 5 hours. Ted's species was remarkable when it came to taking in new information and applying it in the real world. All their extra brains probably didn't hurt either.
If you remember, Ted's species came equipped with five extremity brains, and a central one. That's three for all three of his legs, two for both of his arms, and one in his central body. Ted would have had six individual minds within him before I found him dead in a ditch beside that interstellar sidewalk. By that point, only one, Ted, had survived.
After my, let's say, unique experience, I was left alone in a dark room to rest. Ted came by to visit. Oh yeah, he had a body now. He wore that "Tall, dark, and extraterrestrial" look well. He was easily 7 feet tall in his real body. Those Ted-fu moves should pack a real punch in a body like that.
"That reminds me. You wanted your fighting moves back, right?" My voice was terribly parched after my morning shouting sessions.
Shouting obscenities at medical proffesionals was about all I could do when Ted's doctors were busy inventing a new form of torture. Seriously, take notes. Good stuff in there.
"Keep them. That isn't going to be my concern here. It's hard to even walk now, let alone fight." He admitted. "I'm used to having secondary brains do all the work. I would only take over when the situation required. Now, I'm all I've got."
"Just another one of us handicap one-brainers," I taunted. "How does it feel to be on my level? Could you say you're just 'too single-minded?"
He laughed. I don't think I've ever heard Ted lower himself to laughing at one of my jokes. It wasn't even a good one. I know I could have come up with something better. Hold on. I- huh... well, I guess the moment has passed.
Instead, I teased him again. "so, you have a sense of humor after all."
"Always have. You just aren't funny." He shot back.
Then it was my turn to laugh at a bad joke.
"Bad idea!" I realized aloud. "Laughing hurts. Don't make me laugh."
There was an awkward silence before Ted finally spoke again. Our whole conversation was full of them.
"You're going back there aren't you?" He asked.
"I have to. I have a family somewhere, and I have to know if they're still alive. Something bad is happening on earth and I just want to be there to protect them."
"I don't think you ever will find out."
"Blunt and to the point today are ya?"
"Always have been. You just never listen. Im serious. I dont think you'll make it home."
There it was again, that quiet that kept creeping back up into our conversation.
"What if you run into Brad again?" He asked. "I won't be there to reboot your brain next time. You will either die or-"
"Don't tell me."
"Or you will suffer greatly, then die." He continued while checking his version of fingernails.
"I told you not to tell me. Now I can choose which option I like better."
"I'm being serious." He shot back at me. "You have no defenses against him."
"I know. I'm hoping he's dead. That's three shots from a Tedidian gun he has taken now."
Neither of us were convinced.
"Tedidian? That's the name you gave my species? I'm honored."
"I'm the first of my kind here, I get the naming privileges."
If our conversation took place over the radio, the host would be mortified. Not by the subject matter, no. The silence would be dubbed "dead air" and the host would desperately clamor for a new topic to keep the dialogue active and dynamic. We didn't have that luxury. I think Ted was sorry he couldn't have done more to help, but he would never admit it. I actually might miss him after all- Nah... Too stuck up his own butt to admit his shortcomings. I dont need a guy like that tagging along.
"Do you- mourn the loss of your secondary minds? Were they separate thinking entities?"
"I mourned their loss eons ago. I have moved on. Now I have to re-remember how to walk and talk and do math equations without them. I will be slower than my academic peers, but I have with me knowledge of the unknowable. That should make up for some of my deficiencies."
Eventually, Ted was ushered out. I needed the rest. The doctors here were good. They had managed to piece together this broken puzzle written with a completely different alphabet, and accelerated my healing a great deal. Not really a surprise, given they could build Ted a whole new body. I was back on my feet in a matter of 2 days, using my arm in 3, and back to 70% at 4. I dont think I'll ever make it back to 100%, but all things considered, this is pretty good.
It's hard to tell how long I have been away from earth, but given this trip was meant to last a very long time, I don't suspect I should miss my flight, so long as I find my portal. As long as I can find Eddy. So long as I can find all of them; Eddy, Rook, James, even Jyong and Me-Yan.
Ted's people had a similar arrangement to earth's at first. When Ted was an explorer, their portal was at the edge of the system, but they brought it down to their planet with rockets and parachutes after he and a few others never came back. The history was fascinating. They were a united planet, far and above the most advanced I have come across so far, but in spite of that, the portal slowly leeched off the planet, and spat out horrors beyond their imagination. What they once used as an interstellar fast travel, quickly turned into a speed bump, then a health hazard. There was a reason the builders set this portal so far away from the planet. It wasn't meant to be here, so Ted's people had to build a wall, with poor old lost Ted on the other side. They closely monitored the other side though, and were shocked to find the brain activity of a Tedidian coming from yours truly. That would be Ted's mind, shoulder to shoulder with mine, in my head if you weren't following along. Then they rescued me from Brad.
Speaking of, I asked around about Brad. Someone shot him, so that someone should know if he survived. I had to know if he would be waiting for me on the other side. Eventually, I asked the right person, who introduced me to my rescuer. He wore a white uniform and carried a big gun, even for Tedidian standards. I was kinda jealous. I like my pew pews, but these things were on another level.
He confidently told me that Brad was indeed "dead." I had Ted translate for me whenever I spoke to a native, but they were quickly learning on their own how to speak Sean-ese. That's the language I told them I speak. Might as well leave a lasting mark. That confidence, however, did not come from a place I liked.
"But did you actually see it dead?" I pressed.
"Nothing survives a plasma arc, even a graze, let alone two." He scoffed. Or I think he scoffed. There is no universal interplanetary sign that someone is scoffing at you. You just have to pick up on subtle undertones of pride, shock, or snood. Ted had lots of snood. Luckily, he broke the mold. The people here were as different as people are on earth. I just happened to get the most insufferable one imaginable. Just my luck.
"Then call this thing 'nobody,' because it survived one before." I suggested.
His eyes widened, glad to see that was an interplanetary sign of surprise. "Th-that isn't possible."
"Oh, but it is." Ted interjected
Oh good, that thing could be waiting for me for all I know. I never thought I'd be scared to be without a Ted in my head, but there I was, terrified. He was right. Without him, I had no defense.
We were walking back to Ted's place when I began replaying the past events in my head. My vision was something I couldn't shake. It was real. I felt like I was one of those chains of self-replicating chemicals. That's almost all they were, chemicals, but they had every marker required to classify life. They even responded to change in the environment. They were short-lived bonded protein chains that consumed, produced waste, even grew by self-replication and bonding.
"Hey Ted," I started. "I wanted to run something by you."
"I'm listening, but let's keep it under 280 characters. I'm not in the mood for a marathon today."
I rolled my eyes. "Glad to see you're back to your old self."
"My old self? I've been trying to get back to that, but every time I open my eyes, there you are."
"Look here Dane Cook, I saw something after the attack. It was on another planet. I think someone is trying to show me something."
"You were also close to Brad at the time, who we know can alter your perception."
"Maybe, but this felt different. The first time he affected my mind, he put me in a dreamlike state. Then he used something familiar to me to disguise himself. This was different. I wasn't me, I was this green amino-acid chain with no protective coating. All I could sense were chemicals, no light, no sound, but I knew what was happening too, like I was watching from the outside at the same time."
Ted learned how to roll his eyes just now from me, and mimicked the action to an exagerated end. "Don't think much about it. Many Tedidians see a light at the end of a tunnel when we are close to death. Perhaps this is just your version."
"Perhaps." One thing is certain, even if it scares me, I would be glad to be without Ted. I almost forgot how annoying he was after our little bonding session.
"But I have a question for you. Who is Dane Cook?"
"My planet's worst comedian. Thats not the point."
The day did come that I had to leave, and Ted, in his usual fashion, refused to say goodbye. Instead, all he would say is "I won't be far behind." Cryptic, right? Like, what is that supposed to mean?
At first, I thought "Great. And right after I thought I got rid of him." But then I thought about it. It would be an interesting cultural slang to say "we will meet again." Does Ted believe in an afterlife?does he think I'll wimp out and come back?
Pointless questions aside, there was some good news. He gave me a new gun. This one made an even bigger "kaboom!" It was really fun. Heh. Haha. Gimme-gimme.
I was happy to see Jim-Bob waiting for me at the portal. I hadn't seen him since I set off that sonic weapon. Their feet are so sensitive to vibrations and sound, that weapon really messed with them. The Tedidian doctors had their work cut out for them fixing 5 listening organs per Jim-Bobidian. Together, all 20 odd Jim-Bobs and I, stepped through the portal to the nightmare world.
Now that I was on this side of the portal, I could see that Brad was gone. Oh boy, what fun. You know what else? I held onto that old piece of alien tech that Ted had his brain shoved into. I thought it would make a neat souvenir. Wouldn't you believe it if as soon as the doors closed behind me, I heard that S.O.B's voice saying "So, where to next?"
Ted copied himself yet again into that stupid thing. Didn't take long to figure out what he meant by "I won't be far behind."
"What the hell, Ted?" I shouted.
"Surprised to hear my voice?" He asked?
"More pissed than surprised. I thought I finally got rid of you."
"Oh stop it, you are happy to see me, admit it."
"I thought you wanted to go home. What happened to me just being a pair of legs?"
"Ah yes, but there's a crucial difference between that Ted and this one. This one is artificial, and doesn't get lonely. I am merely a copy of a personality. That way, when you die, I won't get homesick."
"I smell bullshit," I said.
Surprisingly, he didn't make an astronauts and diapers joke. Instead, he said "Got me. I am an explorer, remember? Even if I was homesick, I still yearn for the other-worldly. My adventuring days are not yet over, and this way, I can never die, unlike someone I know."
"News flash, Ted, you did die, and give me that self-aggrandizing crap you pulled in the beginning, and I'm throwing your immortal ass down the throat of the next giant monster I find."
"My path will remain rectilinear, and true."
"Rectum what now? I thought you only knew words I used in front of you. I don't even know what you said."
"True, but now I have learned how your language works, thus am able to intuit new words. You cannot convince me that was not a word. Go- 'look it up' or whatever when you get back to Earth. It means 'I'll stay on the straight and narrow.'"
"Then why didn't you just say so? You're already teetering on the edge of being too annoying to keep around, buddy." I threatened, but I had to admit, a translator would be nice.
I have to say, the next leg of the journey went on without a hitch. The Jim-Bobs, Ted, and I were making good time. Find a monster, kill it, find a planet, explore it, find another monster, kill it too. I found so many new planets, although most were dead or never had life to begin with. The odd part was, Ted was sure he had visited some before, and interacted with the residents, but there was nothing but rock where I stood.
submitted by Plastic_Finish1968 to humansarespaceorcs [link] [comments]
Well today, I found out, when you die in the crypts, you don't see a light in the end of a tunnel. You witness something truly beautiful and pointless.
I watched the birth of life from nothing. Short molecular protein chains. No cell walls, no encasing membranes. If DNA or genetic code of any kind was in their descendant's future, it wasn't present now. I watched it cling to the surface of rock, self-replication fueled by the warm free energy of a sun, millions of generations, hard work, decay, and new growth, only to be destroyed by a crashing wave. The weak hydrogen bonds were broken, as simple as that. The ancestor's hard work gone in a single blink-and-you-miss-it moment. Somehow I knew, wherever this was, that was all the life that planet would ever see until it was swallowed up by its star.
It was a quick fleeting spark. All the dramas and soap operas in the world could have taken place in a single raindrop. A unique potential, unlike any others, this planet's chosen ones, snuffed out before it could evolve to breathe its first breath. Rather grim isn't it? I don't know why I dreamt it, but there it was, a pointless creation followed by an equally pointless destruction. I guess it was a nice commercial break from the missing-arm-induced pain i was suffering. A wonderful hilucination, if a bit mocob.
Anyway, back to my unimaginable blood-curdling, mind-wrenching torture porn session. My eyes were closed a very long time, but when they did open, I was finally where I should be. Horizontal in a hospital bed, surrounded by trained surgeons. That said, it was on an alien world, and the surgeons were not trained in human biology. What's worse, they had no way to dull the pain.
Death would have been a blessing, unfortunately, the doctors were good, in spite of the unknown make, model, and engine size laying before them. 5 hours under an experimental knife, and I think an arc welder, is what it took to reattach my arm and fix my internal organ damage. 5 hours of poking and prodding and searing and stitching and pulling and zapping. All things considered, I am impressed it only took 5 hours. Ted's species was remarkable when it came to taking in new information and applying it in the real world. All their extra brains probably didn't hurt either.
If you remember, Ted's species came equipped with five extremity brains, and a central one. That's three for all three of his legs, two for both of his arms, and one in his central body. Ted would have had six individual minds within him before I found him dead in a ditch beside that interstellar sidewalk. By that point, only one, Ted, had survived.
After my, let's say, unique experience, I was left alone in a dark room to rest. Ted came by to visit. Oh yeah, he had a body now. He wore that "Tall, dark, and extraterrestrial" look well. He was easily 7 feet tall in his real body. Those Ted-fu moves should pack a real punch in a body like that.
"That reminds me. You wanted your fighting moves back, right?" My voice was terribly parched after my morning shouting sessions.
Shouting obscenities at medical proffesionals was about all I could do when Ted's doctors were busy inventing a new form of torture. Seriously, take notes. Good stuff in there.
"Keep them. That isn't going to be my concern here. It's hard to even walk now, let alone fight." He admitted. "I'm used to having secondary brains do all the work. I would only take over when the situation required. Now, I'm all I've got."
"Just another one of us handicap one-brainers," I taunted. "How does it feel to be on my level? Could you say you're just 'too single-minded?"
He laughed. I don't think I've ever heard Ted lower himself to laughing at one of my jokes. It wasn't even a good one. I know I could have come up with something better. Hold on. I- huh... well, I guess the moment has passed.
Instead, I teased him again. "so, you have a sense of humor after all."
"Always have. You just aren't funny." He shot back.
Then it was my turn to laugh at a bad joke.
"Bad idea!" I realized aloud. "Laughing hurts. Don't make me laugh."
There was an awkward silence before Ted finally spoke again. Our whole conversation was full of them.
"You're going back there aren't you?" He asked.
"I have to. I have a family somewhere, and I have to know if they're still alive. Something bad is happening on earth and I just want to be there to protect them."
"I don't think you ever will find out."
"Blunt and to the point today are ya?"
"Always have been. You just never listen. Im serious. I dont think you'll make it home."
There it was again, that quiet that kept creeping back up into our conversation.
"What if you run into Brad again?" He asked. "I won't be there to reboot your brain next time. You will either die or-"
"Don't tell me."
"Or you will suffer greatly, then die." He continued while checking his version of fingernails.
"I told you not to tell me. Now I can choose which option I like better."
"I'm being serious." He shot back at me. "You have no defenses against him."
"I know. I'm hoping he's dead. That's three shots from a Tedidian gun he has taken now."
Neither of us were convinced.
"Tedidian? That's the name you gave my species? I'm honored."
"I'm the first of my kind here, I get the naming privileges."
If our conversation took place over the radio, the host would be mortified. Not by the subject matter, no. The silence would be dubbed "dead air" and the host would desperately clamor for a new topic to keep the dialogue active and dynamic. We didn't have that luxury. I think Ted was sorry he couldn't have done more to help, but he would never admit it. I actually might miss him after all- Nah... Too stuck up his own butt to admit his shortcomings. I dont need a guy like that tagging along.
"Do you- mourn the loss of your secondary minds? Were they separate thinking entities?"
"I mourned their loss eons ago. I have moved on. Now I have to re-remember how to walk and talk and do math equations without them. I will be slower than my academic peers, but I have with me knowledge of the unknowable. That should make up for some of my deficiencies."
Eventually, Ted was ushered out. I needed the rest. The doctors here were good. They had managed to piece together this broken puzzle written with a completely different alphabet, and accelerated my healing a great deal. Not really a surprise, given they could build Ted a whole new body. I was back on my feet in a matter of 2 days, using my arm in 3, and back to 70% at 4. I dont think I'll ever make it back to 100%, but all things considered, this is pretty good.
It's hard to tell how long I have been away from earth, but given this trip was meant to last a very long time, I don't suspect I should miss my flight, so long as I find my portal. As long as I can find Eddy. So long as I can find all of them; Eddy, Rook, James, even Jyong and Me-Yan.
Ted's people had a similar arrangement to earth's at first. When Ted was an explorer, their portal was at the edge of the system, but they brought it down to their planet with rockets and parachutes after he and a few others never came back. The history was fascinating. They were a united planet, far and above the most advanced I have come across so far, but in spite of that, the portal slowly leeched off the planet, and spat out horrors beyond their imagination. What they once used as an interstellar fast travel, quickly turned into a speed bump, then a health hazard. There was a reason the builders set this portal so far away from the planet. It wasn't meant to be here, so Ted's people had to build a wall, with poor old lost Ted on the other side. They closely monitored the other side though, and were shocked to find the brain activity of a Tedidian coming from yours truly. That would be Ted's mind, shoulder to shoulder with mine, in my head if you weren't following along. Then they rescued me from Brad.
Speaking of, I asked around about Brad. Someone shot him, so that someone should know if he survived. I had to know if he would be waiting for me on the other side. Eventually, I asked the right person, who introduced me to my rescuer. He wore a white uniform and carried a big gun, even for Tedidian standards. I was kinda jealous. I like my pew pews, but these things were on another level.
He confidently told me that Brad was indeed "dead." I had Ted translate for me whenever I spoke to a native, but they were quickly learning on their own how to speak Sean-ese. That's the language I told them I speak. Might as well leave a lasting mark. That confidence, however, did not come from a place I liked.
"But did you actually see it dead?" I pressed.
"Nothing survives a plasma arc, even a graze, let alone two." He scoffed. Or I think he scoffed. There is no universal interplanetary sign that someone is scoffing at you. You just have to pick up on subtle undertones of pride, shock, or snood. Ted had lots of snood. Luckily, he broke the mold. The people here were as different as people are on earth. I just happened to get the most insufferable one imaginable. Just my luck.
"Then call this thing 'nobody,' because it survived one before." I suggested.
His eyes widened, glad to see that was an interplanetary sign of surprise. "Th-that isn't possible."
"Oh, but it is." Ted interjected
Oh good, that thing could be waiting for me for all I know. I never thought I'd be scared to be without a Ted in my head, but there I was, terrified. He was right. Without him, I had no defense.
We were walking back to Ted's place when I began replaying the past events in my head. My vision was something I couldn't shake. It was real. I felt like I was one of those chains of self-replicating chemicals. That's almost all they were, chemicals, but they had every marker required to classify life. They even responded to change in the environment. They were short-lived bonded protein chains that consumed, produced waste, even grew by self-replication and bonding.
"Hey Ted," I started. "I wanted to run something by you."
"I'm listening, but let's keep it under 280 characters. I'm not in the mood for a marathon today."
I rolled my eyes. "Glad to see you're back to your old self."
"My old self? I've been trying to get back to that, but every time I open my eyes, there you are."
"Look here Dane Cook, I saw something after the attack. It was on another planet. I think someone is trying to show me something."
"You were also close to Brad at the time, who we know can alter your perception."
"Maybe, but this felt different. The first time he affected my mind, he put me in a dreamlike state. Then he used something familiar to me to disguise himself. This was different. I wasn't me, I was this green amino-acid chain with no protective coating. All I could sense were chemicals, no light, no sound, but I knew what was happening too, like I was watching from the outside at the same time."
Ted learned how to roll his eyes just now from me, and mimicked the action to an exagerated end. "Don't think much about it. Many Tedidians see a light at the end of a tunnel when we are close to death. Perhaps this is just your version."
"Perhaps." One thing is certain, even if it scares me, I would be glad to be without Ted. I almost forgot how annoying he was after our little bonding session.
"But I have a question for you. Who is Dane Cook?"
"My planet's worst comedian. Thats not the point."
The day did come that I had to leave, and Ted, in his usual fashion, refused to say goodbye. Instead, all he would say is "I won't be far behind." Cryptic, right? Like, what is that supposed to mean?
At first, I thought "Great. And right after I thought I got rid of him." But then I thought about it. It would be an interesting cultural slang to say "we will meet again." Does Ted believe in an afterlife?does he think I'll wimp out and come back?
Pointless questions aside, there was some good news. He gave me a new gun. This one made an even bigger "kaboom!" It was really fun. Heh. Haha. Gimme-gimme.
I was happy to see Jim-Bob waiting for me at the portal. I hadn't seen him since I set off that sonic weapon. Their feet are so sensitive to vibrations and sound, that weapon really messed with them. The Tedidian doctors had their work cut out for them fixing 5 listening organs per Jim-Bobidian. Together, all 20 odd Jim-Bobs and I, stepped through the portal to the nightmare world.
Now that I was on this side of the portal, I could see that Brad was gone. Oh boy, what fun. You know what else? I held onto that old piece of alien tech that Ted had his brain shoved into. I thought it would make a neat souvenir. Wouldn't you believe it if as soon as the doors closed behind me, I heard that S.O.B's voice saying "So, where to next?"
Ted copied himself yet again into that stupid thing. Didn't take long to figure out what he meant by "I won't be far behind."
"What the hell, Ted?" I shouted.
"Surprised to hear my voice?" He asked?
"More pissed than surprised. I thought I finally got rid of you."
"Oh stop it, you are happy to see me, admit it."
"I thought you wanted to go home. What happened to me just being a pair of legs?"
"Ah yes, but there's a crucial difference between that Ted and this one. This one is artificial, and doesn't get lonely. I am merely a copy of a personality. That way, when you die, I won't get homesick."
"I smell bullshit," I said.
Surprisingly, he didn't make an astronauts and diapers joke. Instead, he said "Got me. I am an explorer, remember? Even if I was homesick, I still yearn for the other-worldly. My adventuring days are not yet over, and this way, I can never die, unlike someone I know."
"News flash, Ted, you did die, and give me that self-aggrandizing crap you pulled in the beginning, and I'm throwing your immortal ass down the throat of the next giant monster I find."
"My path will remain rectilinear, and true."
"Rectum what now? I thought you only knew words I used in front of you. I don't even know what you said."
"True, but now I have learned how your language works, thus am able to intuit new words. You cannot convince me that was not a word. Go- 'look it up' or whatever when you get back to Earth. It means 'I'll stay on the straight and narrow.'"
"Then why didn't you just say so? You're already teetering on the edge of being too annoying to keep around, buddy." I threatened, but I had to admit, a translator would be nice.
I have to say, the next leg of the journey went on without a hitch. The Jim-Bobs, Ted, and I were making good time. Find a monster, kill it, find a planet, explore it, find another monster, kill it too. I found so many new planets, although most were dead or never had life to begin with. The odd part was, Ted was sure he had visited some before, and interacted with the residents, but there was nothing but rock where I stood.
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submitted by wkqxzfpbjv_238869 to singe_score4231622 [link] [comments]
2024.05.16 17:56 trojan_60 My personal laptop has become slow
Hello,
If I am asking my question improperly then I’m sorry as this is my first ever post on Reddit.
My specs are GTX 2060, with an i7 processor with 16 GB of ram (15.8 usable). This happened right around April 20-25, I factory reset my pc deleting all my files and it work amazingly for about two to two and a half weeks. However, within the last two/three days, it has slowed down so much that opening google chrome takes about 3 to 4 secs when three days ago it opened it up almost immediately. I haven't downloaded anything to my knowledge and honestly have no idea on how this could've happened especially over the time it slowed down so much. For more clarification, my laptop on idle uses 1% cpu and 40% memory on idle and around 55 to 60% when chrome is opened. another example is four days ago I was able to play Assassins' Creed at 64 fps (capped at 65 fps) and now I would be lucky to get around 20 fps. Everything that I've looked up online hasn't helped.
Thanks in advance
submitted by trojan_60 to techsupport [link] [comments]
If I am asking my question improperly then I’m sorry as this is my first ever post on Reddit.
My specs are GTX 2060, with an i7 processor with 16 GB of ram (15.8 usable). This happened right around April 20-25, I factory reset my pc deleting all my files and it work amazingly for about two to two and a half weeks. However, within the last two/three days, it has slowed down so much that opening google chrome takes about 3 to 4 secs when three days ago it opened it up almost immediately. I haven't downloaded anything to my knowledge and honestly have no idea on how this could've happened especially over the time it slowed down so much. For more clarification, my laptop on idle uses 1% cpu and 40% memory on idle and around 55 to 60% when chrome is opened. another example is four days ago I was able to play Assassins' Creed at 64 fps (capped at 65 fps) and now I would be lucky to get around 20 fps. Everything that I've looked up online hasn't helped.
Thanks in advance
2024.05.16 17:56 Plastic_Finish1968 The Long Walk Home: chapter 10 (Tall Dark and Extraterrestrial)
Have you ever witnessed the first formation of life? I mean, I've seen my children, I was there for every step of the process if you know what I mean. Hah. But what I'm talking about is from beyond the beginning. The molten slag of a planet forming over millions or even billions of years into a habitable plane. Have you seen, from that very point, chemicals coalescing and reproducing? Amino acids and the forming proteins?
Well today, I found out, when you die in the crypts, you don't see a light in the end of a tunnel. You witness something truly beautiful and pointless.
I watched the birth of life from nothing. Short molecular protein chains. No cell walls, no encasing membranes. If DNA or genetic code of any kind was in their descendant's future, it wasn't present now. I watched it cling to the surface of rock, self-replication fueled by the warm free energy of a sun, millions of generations, hard work, decay, and new growth, only to be destroyed by a crashing wave. The weak hydrogen bonds were broken, as simple as that. The ancestor's hard work gone in a single blink-and-you-miss-it moment. Somehow I knew, wherever this was, that was all the life that planet would ever see until it was swallowed up by its star.
It was a quick fleeting spark. All the dramas and soap operas in the world could have taken place in a single raindrop. A unique potential, unlike any others, this planet's chosen ones, snuffed out before it could evolve to breathe its first breath. Rather grim isn't it? I don't know why I dreamt it, but there it was, a pointless creation followed by an equally pointless destruction. I guess it was a nice commercial break from the missing-arm-induced pain i was suffering. A wonderful hilucination, if a bit mocob.
Anyway, back to my unimaginable blood-curdling, mind-wrenching torture porn session. My eyes were closed a very long time, but when they did open, I was finally where I should be. Horizontal in a hospital bed, surrounded by trained surgeons. That said, it was on an alien world, and the surgeons were not trained in human biology. What's worse, they had no way to dull the pain.
Death would have been a blessing, unfortunately, the doctors were good, in spite of the unknown make, model, and engine size laying before them. 5 hours under an experimental knife, and I think an arc welder, is what it took to reattach my arm and fix my internal organ damage. 5 hours of poking and prodding and searing and stitching and pulling and zapping. All things considered, I am impressed it only took 5 hours. Ted's species was remarkable when it came to taking in new information and applying it in the real world. All their extra brains probably didn't hurt either.
If you remember, Ted's species came equipped with five extremity brains, and a central one. That's three for all three of his legs, two for both of his arms, and one in his central body. Ted would have had six individual minds within him before I found him dead in a ditch beside that interstellar sidewalk. By that point, only one, Ted, had survived.
After my, let's say, unique experience, I was left alone in a dark room to rest. Ted came by to visit. Oh yeah, he had a body now. He wore that "Tall, dark, and extraterrestrial" look well. He was easily 7 feet tall in his real body. Those Ted-fu moves should pack a real punch in a body like that.
"That reminds me. You wanted your fighting moves back, right?" My voice was terribly parched after my morning shouting sessions.
Shouting obscenities at medical proffesionals was about all I could do when Ted's doctors were busy inventing a new form of torture. Seriously, take notes. Good stuff in there.
"Keep them. That isn't going to be my concern here. It's hard to even walk now, let alone fight." He admitted. "I'm used to having secondary brains do all the work. I would only take over when the situation required. Now, I'm all I've got."
"Just another one of us handicap one-brainers," I taunted. "How does it feel to be on my level? Could you say you're just 'too single-minded?"
He laughed. I don't think I've ever heard Ted lower himself to laughing at one of my jokes. It wasn't even a good one. I know I could have come up with something better. Hold on. I- huh... well, I guess the moment has passed.
Instead, I teased him again. "so, you have a sense of humor after all."
"Always have. You just aren't funny." He shot back.
Then it was my turn to laugh at a bad joke.
"Bad idea!" I realized aloud. "Laughing hurts. Don't make me laugh."
There was an awkward silence before Ted finally spoke again. Our whole conversation was full of them.
"You're going back there aren't you?" He asked.
"I have to. I have a family somewhere, and I have to know if they're still alive. Something bad is happening on earth and I just want to be there to protect them."
"I don't think you ever will find out."
"Blunt and to the point today are ya?"
"Always have been. You just never listen. Im serious. I dont think you'll make it home."
There it was again, that quiet that kept creeping back up into our conversation.
"What if you run into Brad again?" He asked. "I won't be there to reboot your brain next time. You will either die or-"
"Don't tell me."
"Or you will suffer greatly, then die." He continued while checking his version of fingernails.
"I told you not to tell me. Now I can choose which option I like better."
"I'm being serious." He shot back at me. "You have no defenses against him."
"I know. I'm hoping he's dead. That's three shots from a Tedidian gun he has taken now."
Neither of us were convinced.
"Tedidian? That's the name you gave my species? I'm honored."
"I'm the first of my kind here, I get the naming privileges."
If our conversation took place over the radio, the host would be mortified. Not by the subject matter, no. The silence would be dubbed "dead air" and the host would desperately clamor for a new topic to keep the dialogue active and dynamic. We didn't have that luxury. I think Ted was sorry he couldn't have done more to help, but he would never admit it. I actually might miss him after all- Nah... Too stuck up his own butt to admit his shortcomings. I dont need a guy like that tagging along.
"Do you- mourn the loss of your secondary minds? Were they separate thinking entities?"
"I mourned their loss eons ago. I have moved on. Now I have to re-remember how to walk and talk and do math equations without them. I will be slower than my academic peers, but I have with me knowledge of the unknowable. That should make up for some of my deficiencies."
Eventually, Ted was ushered out. I needed the rest. The doctors here were good. They had managed to piece together this broken puzzle written with a completely different alphabet, and accelerated my healing a great deal. Not really a surprise, given they could build Ted a whole new body. I was back on my feet in a matter of 2 days, using my arm in 3, and back to 70% at 4. I dont think I'll ever make it back to 100%, but all things considered, this is pretty good.
It's hard to tell how long I have been away from earth, but given this trip was meant to last a very long time, I don't suspect I should miss my flight, so long as I find my portal. As long as I can find Eddy. So long as I can find all of them; Eddy, Rook, James, even Jyong and Me-Yan.
Ted's people had a similar arrangement to earth's at first. When Ted was an explorer, their portal was at the edge of the system, but they brought it down to their planet with rockets and parachutes after he and a few others never came back. The history was fascinating. They were a united planet, far and above the most advanced I have come across so far, but in spite of that, the portal slowly leeched off the planet, and spat out horrors beyond their imagination. What they once used as an interstellar fast travel, quickly turned into a speed bump, then a health hazard. There was a reason the builders set this portal so far away from the planet. It wasn't meant to be here, so Ted's people had to build a wall, with poor old lost Ted on the other side. They closely monitored the other side though, and were shocked to find the brain activity of a Tedidian coming from yours truly. That would be Ted's mind, shoulder to shoulder with mine, in my head if you weren't following along. Then they rescued me from Brad.
Speaking of, I asked around about Brad. Someone shot him, so that someone should know if he survived. I had to know if he would be waiting for me on the other side. Eventually, I asked the right person, who introduced me to my rescuer. He wore a white uniform and carried a big gun, even for Tedidian standards. I was kinda jealous. I like my pew pews, but these things were on another level.
He confidently told me that Brad was indeed "dead." I had Ted translate for me whenever I spoke to a native, but they were quickly learning on their own how to speak Sean-ese. That's the language I told them I speak. Might as well leave a lasting mark. That confidence, however, did not come from a place I liked.
"But did you actually see it dead?" I pressed.
"Nothing survives a plasma arc, even a graze, let alone two." He scoffed. Or I think he scoffed. There is no universal interplanetary sign that someone is scoffing at you. You just have to pick up on subtle undertones of pride, shock, or snood. Ted had lots of snood. Luckily, he broke the mold. The people here were as different as people are on earth. I just happened to get the most insufferable one imaginable. Just my luck.
"Then call this thing 'nobody,' because it survived one before." I suggested.
His eyes widened, glad to see that was an interplanetary sign of surprise. "Th-that isn't possible."
"Oh, but it is." Ted interjected
Oh good, that thing could be waiting for me for all I know. I never thought I'd be scared to be without a Ted in my head, but there I was, terrified. He was right. Without him, I had no defense.
We were walking back to Ted's place when I began replaying the past events in my head. My vision was something I couldn't shake. It was real. I felt like I was one of those chains of self-replicating chemicals. That's almost all they were, chemicals, but they had every marker required to classify life. They even responded to change in the environment. They were short-lived bonded protein chains that consumed, produced waste, even grew by self-replication and bonding.
"Hey Ted," I started. "I wanted to run something by you."
"I'm listening, but let's keep it under 280 characters. I'm not in the mood for a marathon today."
I rolled my eyes. "Glad to see you're back to your old self."
"My old self? I've been trying to get back to that, but every time I open my eyes, there you are."
"Look here Dane Cook, I saw something after the attack. It was on another planet. I think someone is trying to show me something."
"You were also close to Brad at the time, who we know can alter your perception."
"Maybe, but this felt different. The first time he affected my mind, he put me in a dreamlike state. Then he used something familiar to me to disguise himself. This was different. I wasn't me, I was this green amino-acid chain with no protective coating. All I could sense were chemicals, no light, no sound, but I knew what was happening too, like I was watching from the outside at the same time."
Ted learned how to roll his eyes just now from me, and mimicked the action to an exagerated end. "Don't think much about it. Many Tedidians see a light at the end of a tunnel when we are close to death. Perhaps this is just your version."
"Perhaps." One thing is certain, even if it scares me, I would be glad to be without Ted. I almost forgot how annoying he was after our little bonding session.
"But I have a question for you. Who is Dane Cook?"
"My planet's worst comedian. Thats not the point."
The day did come that I had to leave, and Ted, in his usual fashion, refused to say goodbye. Instead, all he would say is "I won't be far behind." Cryptic, right? Like, what is that supposed to mean?
At first, I thought "Great. And right after I thought I got rid of him." But then I thought about it. It would be an interesting cultural slang to say "we will meet again." Does Ted believe in an afterlife?does he think I'll wimp out and come back?
Pointless questions aside, there was some good news. He gave me a new gun. This one made an even bigger "kaboom!" It was really fun. Heh. Haha. Gimme-gimme.
I was happy to see Jim-Bob waiting for me at the portal. I hadn't seen him since I set off that sonic weapon. Their feet are so sensitive to vibrations and sound, that weapon really messed with them. The Tedidian doctors had their work cut out for them fixing 5 listening organs per Jim-Bobidian. Together, all 20 odd Jim-Bobs and I, stepped through the portal to the nightmare world.
Now that I was on this side of the portal, I could see that Brad was gone. Oh boy, what fun. You know what else? I held onto that old piece of alien tech that Ted had his brain shoved into. I thought it would make a neat souvenir. Wouldn't you believe it if as soon as the doors closed behind me, I heard that S.O.B's voice saying "So, where to next?"
Ted copied himself yet again into that stupid thing. Didn't take long to figure out what he meant by "I won't be far behind."
"What the hell, Ted?" I shouted.
"Surprised to hear my voice?" He asked?
"More pissed than surprised. I thought I finally got rid of you."
"Oh stop it, you are happy to see me, admit it."
"I thought you wanted to go home. What happened to me just being a pair of legs?"
"Ah yes, but there's a crucial difference between that Ted and this one. This one is artificial, and doesn't get lonely. I am merely a copy of a personality. That way, when you die, I won't get homesick."
"I smell bullshit," I said.
Surprisingly, he didn't make an astronauts and diapers joke. Instead, he said "Got me. I am an explorer, remember? Even if I was homesick, I still yearn for the other-worldly. My adventuring days are not yet over, and this way, I can never die, unlike someone I know."
"News flash, Ted, you did die, and give me that self-aggrandizing crap you pulled in the beginning, and I'm throwing your immortal ass down the throat of the next giant monster I find."
"My path will remain rectilinear, and true."
"Rectum what now? I thought you only knew words I used in front of you. I don't even know what you said."
"True, but now I have learned how your language works, thus am able to intuit new words. You cannot convince me that was not a word. Go- 'look it up' or whatever when you get back to Earth. It means 'I'll stay on the straight and narrow.'"
"Then why didn't you just say so? You're already teetering on the edge of being too annoying to keep around, buddy." I threatened, but I had to admit, a translator would be nice.
I have to say, the next leg of the journey went on without a hitch. The Jim-Bobs, Ted, and I were making good time. Find a monster, kill it, find a planet, explore it, find another monster, kill it too. I found so many new planets, although most were dead or never had life to begin with. The odd part was, Ted was sure he had visited some before, and interacted with the residents, but there was nothing but rock where I stood.
submitted by Plastic_Finish1968 to HFY [link] [comments]
Well today, I found out, when you die in the crypts, you don't see a light in the end of a tunnel. You witness something truly beautiful and pointless.
I watched the birth of life from nothing. Short molecular protein chains. No cell walls, no encasing membranes. If DNA or genetic code of any kind was in their descendant's future, it wasn't present now. I watched it cling to the surface of rock, self-replication fueled by the warm free energy of a sun, millions of generations, hard work, decay, and new growth, only to be destroyed by a crashing wave. The weak hydrogen bonds were broken, as simple as that. The ancestor's hard work gone in a single blink-and-you-miss-it moment. Somehow I knew, wherever this was, that was all the life that planet would ever see until it was swallowed up by its star.
It was a quick fleeting spark. All the dramas and soap operas in the world could have taken place in a single raindrop. A unique potential, unlike any others, this planet's chosen ones, snuffed out before it could evolve to breathe its first breath. Rather grim isn't it? I don't know why I dreamt it, but there it was, a pointless creation followed by an equally pointless destruction. I guess it was a nice commercial break from the missing-arm-induced pain i was suffering. A wonderful hilucination, if a bit mocob.
Anyway, back to my unimaginable blood-curdling, mind-wrenching torture porn session. My eyes were closed a very long time, but when they did open, I was finally where I should be. Horizontal in a hospital bed, surrounded by trained surgeons. That said, it was on an alien world, and the surgeons were not trained in human biology. What's worse, they had no way to dull the pain.
Death would have been a blessing, unfortunately, the doctors were good, in spite of the unknown make, model, and engine size laying before them. 5 hours under an experimental knife, and I think an arc welder, is what it took to reattach my arm and fix my internal organ damage. 5 hours of poking and prodding and searing and stitching and pulling and zapping. All things considered, I am impressed it only took 5 hours. Ted's species was remarkable when it came to taking in new information and applying it in the real world. All their extra brains probably didn't hurt either.
If you remember, Ted's species came equipped with five extremity brains, and a central one. That's three for all three of his legs, two for both of his arms, and one in his central body. Ted would have had six individual minds within him before I found him dead in a ditch beside that interstellar sidewalk. By that point, only one, Ted, had survived.
After my, let's say, unique experience, I was left alone in a dark room to rest. Ted came by to visit. Oh yeah, he had a body now. He wore that "Tall, dark, and extraterrestrial" look well. He was easily 7 feet tall in his real body. Those Ted-fu moves should pack a real punch in a body like that.
"That reminds me. You wanted your fighting moves back, right?" My voice was terribly parched after my morning shouting sessions.
Shouting obscenities at medical proffesionals was about all I could do when Ted's doctors were busy inventing a new form of torture. Seriously, take notes. Good stuff in there.
"Keep them. That isn't going to be my concern here. It's hard to even walk now, let alone fight." He admitted. "I'm used to having secondary brains do all the work. I would only take over when the situation required. Now, I'm all I've got."
"Just another one of us handicap one-brainers," I taunted. "How does it feel to be on my level? Could you say you're just 'too single-minded?"
He laughed. I don't think I've ever heard Ted lower himself to laughing at one of my jokes. It wasn't even a good one. I know I could have come up with something better. Hold on. I- huh... well, I guess the moment has passed.
Instead, I teased him again. "so, you have a sense of humor after all."
"Always have. You just aren't funny." He shot back.
Then it was my turn to laugh at a bad joke.
"Bad idea!" I realized aloud. "Laughing hurts. Don't make me laugh."
There was an awkward silence before Ted finally spoke again. Our whole conversation was full of them.
"You're going back there aren't you?" He asked.
"I have to. I have a family somewhere, and I have to know if they're still alive. Something bad is happening on earth and I just want to be there to protect them."
"I don't think you ever will find out."
"Blunt and to the point today are ya?"
"Always have been. You just never listen. Im serious. I dont think you'll make it home."
There it was again, that quiet that kept creeping back up into our conversation.
"What if you run into Brad again?" He asked. "I won't be there to reboot your brain next time. You will either die or-"
"Don't tell me."
"Or you will suffer greatly, then die." He continued while checking his version of fingernails.
"I told you not to tell me. Now I can choose which option I like better."
"I'm being serious." He shot back at me. "You have no defenses against him."
"I know. I'm hoping he's dead. That's three shots from a Tedidian gun he has taken now."
Neither of us were convinced.
"Tedidian? That's the name you gave my species? I'm honored."
"I'm the first of my kind here, I get the naming privileges."
If our conversation took place over the radio, the host would be mortified. Not by the subject matter, no. The silence would be dubbed "dead air" and the host would desperately clamor for a new topic to keep the dialogue active and dynamic. We didn't have that luxury. I think Ted was sorry he couldn't have done more to help, but he would never admit it. I actually might miss him after all- Nah... Too stuck up his own butt to admit his shortcomings. I dont need a guy like that tagging along.
"Do you- mourn the loss of your secondary minds? Were they separate thinking entities?"
"I mourned their loss eons ago. I have moved on. Now I have to re-remember how to walk and talk and do math equations without them. I will be slower than my academic peers, but I have with me knowledge of the unknowable. That should make up for some of my deficiencies."
Eventually, Ted was ushered out. I needed the rest. The doctors here were good. They had managed to piece together this broken puzzle written with a completely different alphabet, and accelerated my healing a great deal. Not really a surprise, given they could build Ted a whole new body. I was back on my feet in a matter of 2 days, using my arm in 3, and back to 70% at 4. I dont think I'll ever make it back to 100%, but all things considered, this is pretty good.
It's hard to tell how long I have been away from earth, but given this trip was meant to last a very long time, I don't suspect I should miss my flight, so long as I find my portal. As long as I can find Eddy. So long as I can find all of them; Eddy, Rook, James, even Jyong and Me-Yan.
Ted's people had a similar arrangement to earth's at first. When Ted was an explorer, their portal was at the edge of the system, but they brought it down to their planet with rockets and parachutes after he and a few others never came back. The history was fascinating. They were a united planet, far and above the most advanced I have come across so far, but in spite of that, the portal slowly leeched off the planet, and spat out horrors beyond their imagination. What they once used as an interstellar fast travel, quickly turned into a speed bump, then a health hazard. There was a reason the builders set this portal so far away from the planet. It wasn't meant to be here, so Ted's people had to build a wall, with poor old lost Ted on the other side. They closely monitored the other side though, and were shocked to find the brain activity of a Tedidian coming from yours truly. That would be Ted's mind, shoulder to shoulder with mine, in my head if you weren't following along. Then they rescued me from Brad.
Speaking of, I asked around about Brad. Someone shot him, so that someone should know if he survived. I had to know if he would be waiting for me on the other side. Eventually, I asked the right person, who introduced me to my rescuer. He wore a white uniform and carried a big gun, even for Tedidian standards. I was kinda jealous. I like my pew pews, but these things were on another level.
He confidently told me that Brad was indeed "dead." I had Ted translate for me whenever I spoke to a native, but they were quickly learning on their own how to speak Sean-ese. That's the language I told them I speak. Might as well leave a lasting mark. That confidence, however, did not come from a place I liked.
"But did you actually see it dead?" I pressed.
"Nothing survives a plasma arc, even a graze, let alone two." He scoffed. Or I think he scoffed. There is no universal interplanetary sign that someone is scoffing at you. You just have to pick up on subtle undertones of pride, shock, or snood. Ted had lots of snood. Luckily, he broke the mold. The people here were as different as people are on earth. I just happened to get the most insufferable one imaginable. Just my luck.
"Then call this thing 'nobody,' because it survived one before." I suggested.
His eyes widened, glad to see that was an interplanetary sign of surprise. "Th-that isn't possible."
"Oh, but it is." Ted interjected
Oh good, that thing could be waiting for me for all I know. I never thought I'd be scared to be without a Ted in my head, but there I was, terrified. He was right. Without him, I had no defense.
We were walking back to Ted's place when I began replaying the past events in my head. My vision was something I couldn't shake. It was real. I felt like I was one of those chains of self-replicating chemicals. That's almost all they were, chemicals, but they had every marker required to classify life. They even responded to change in the environment. They were short-lived bonded protein chains that consumed, produced waste, even grew by self-replication and bonding.
"Hey Ted," I started. "I wanted to run something by you."
"I'm listening, but let's keep it under 280 characters. I'm not in the mood for a marathon today."
I rolled my eyes. "Glad to see you're back to your old self."
"My old self? I've been trying to get back to that, but every time I open my eyes, there you are."
"Look here Dane Cook, I saw something after the attack. It was on another planet. I think someone is trying to show me something."
"You were also close to Brad at the time, who we know can alter your perception."
"Maybe, but this felt different. The first time he affected my mind, he put me in a dreamlike state. Then he used something familiar to me to disguise himself. This was different. I wasn't me, I was this green amino-acid chain with no protective coating. All I could sense were chemicals, no light, no sound, but I knew what was happening too, like I was watching from the outside at the same time."
Ted learned how to roll his eyes just now from me, and mimicked the action to an exagerated end. "Don't think much about it. Many Tedidians see a light at the end of a tunnel when we are close to death. Perhaps this is just your version."
"Perhaps." One thing is certain, even if it scares me, I would be glad to be without Ted. I almost forgot how annoying he was after our little bonding session.
"But I have a question for you. Who is Dane Cook?"
"My planet's worst comedian. Thats not the point."
The day did come that I had to leave, and Ted, in his usual fashion, refused to say goodbye. Instead, all he would say is "I won't be far behind." Cryptic, right? Like, what is that supposed to mean?
At first, I thought "Great. And right after I thought I got rid of him." But then I thought about it. It would be an interesting cultural slang to say "we will meet again." Does Ted believe in an afterlife?does he think I'll wimp out and come back?
Pointless questions aside, there was some good news. He gave me a new gun. This one made an even bigger "kaboom!" It was really fun. Heh. Haha. Gimme-gimme.
I was happy to see Jim-Bob waiting for me at the portal. I hadn't seen him since I set off that sonic weapon. Their feet are so sensitive to vibrations and sound, that weapon really messed with them. The Tedidian doctors had their work cut out for them fixing 5 listening organs per Jim-Bobidian. Together, all 20 odd Jim-Bobs and I, stepped through the portal to the nightmare world.
Now that I was on this side of the portal, I could see that Brad was gone. Oh boy, what fun. You know what else? I held onto that old piece of alien tech that Ted had his brain shoved into. I thought it would make a neat souvenir. Wouldn't you believe it if as soon as the doors closed behind me, I heard that S.O.B's voice saying "So, where to next?"
Ted copied himself yet again into that stupid thing. Didn't take long to figure out what he meant by "I won't be far behind."
"What the hell, Ted?" I shouted.
"Surprised to hear my voice?" He asked?
"More pissed than surprised. I thought I finally got rid of you."
"Oh stop it, you are happy to see me, admit it."
"I thought you wanted to go home. What happened to me just being a pair of legs?"
"Ah yes, but there's a crucial difference between that Ted and this one. This one is artificial, and doesn't get lonely. I am merely a copy of a personality. That way, when you die, I won't get homesick."
"I smell bullshit," I said.
Surprisingly, he didn't make an astronauts and diapers joke. Instead, he said "Got me. I am an explorer, remember? Even if I was homesick, I still yearn for the other-worldly. My adventuring days are not yet over, and this way, I can never die, unlike someone I know."
"News flash, Ted, you did die, and give me that self-aggrandizing crap you pulled in the beginning, and I'm throwing your immortal ass down the throat of the next giant monster I find."
"My path will remain rectilinear, and true."
"Rectum what now? I thought you only knew words I used in front of you. I don't even know what you said."
"True, but now I have learned how your language works, thus am able to intuit new words. You cannot convince me that was not a word. Go- 'look it up' or whatever when you get back to Earth. It means 'I'll stay on the straight and narrow.'"
"Then why didn't you just say so? You're already teetering on the edge of being too annoying to keep around, buddy." I threatened, but I had to admit, a translator would be nice.
I have to say, the next leg of the journey went on without a hitch. The Jim-Bobs, Ted, and I were making good time. Find a monster, kill it, find a planet, explore it, find another monster, kill it too. I found so many new planets, although most were dead or never had life to begin with. The odd part was, Ted was sure he had visited some before, and interacted with the residents, but there was nothing but rock where I stood.
2024.05.16 17:55 flyingBrain236 i am uncomfy
back in around 2nd to 3rd term of grade 12, theres this guy who’s been following me around. kung nasaan ako, nandoon din siya and i get it, we all are in a small area, BUT IT IS WEIRD. the following events happen multiple times but let me describe them:
event A) when im at select with my friends he would be there, not buying anything, not eating anything, not with anyone, just there. he would sit at the table beside us or stand near our table and stare.
event B) at caf, during lunch, he would sit in our table without saying anything. if the table’s full he would sit at the table beside or near and WILL STARE at us- even if his neck looks like it would hurt- the whole time.
event C) library, would literally WALK AROUND us for no reason, stare, or stand near.
now that we’re first years, GANUN PADIN SIYA! i get so paranoid if he would do anything to me or to my friends. idk if he wants to be friends? why wont he step up or something? ano tawag sakanya? creep? stalker? random dude who’s always around staring?
u can say “eh ang liit lang naman ng apc” and “baka feelingera ka lang” but it is constant for a year. my friends are alarmed as well because they notice him around too.
me and my friends have asked advice from profs and they just said “baka ganun lang talaga siya” and “baka gusto lang makipag friends”
to the guy, if u see this: pls stop being creepy, if u wanna be friends i’d be glad to naman just step up. if its hard just pls stop the staring.
i should probably confront him right? but im scared & might look rude
submitted by flyingBrain236 to WeAreRAMS [link] [comments]
event A) when im at select with my friends he would be there, not buying anything, not eating anything, not with anyone, just there. he would sit at the table beside us or stand near our table and stare.
event B) at caf, during lunch, he would sit in our table without saying anything. if the table’s full he would sit at the table beside or near and WILL STARE at us- even if his neck looks like it would hurt- the whole time.
event C) library, would literally WALK AROUND us for no reason, stare, or stand near.
now that we’re first years, GANUN PADIN SIYA! i get so paranoid if he would do anything to me or to my friends. idk if he wants to be friends? why wont he step up or something? ano tawag sakanya? creep? stalker? random dude who’s always around staring?
u can say “eh ang liit lang naman ng apc” and “baka feelingera ka lang” but it is constant for a year. my friends are alarmed as well because they notice him around too.
me and my friends have asked advice from profs and they just said “baka ganun lang talaga siya” and “baka gusto lang makipag friends”
to the guy, if u see this: pls stop being creepy, if u wanna be friends i’d be glad to naman just step up. if its hard just pls stop the staring.
i should probably confront him right? but im scared & might look rude
2024.05.16 17:55 MrJaKeLoPe Smallrig top handle loose on my Lumix S5 Mark iiX and I don't know why
 | Hello everyone! submitted by MrJaKeLoPe to Filmmakers [link] [comments] First time poster and I'm not even sure if this is the right subreddit to post, but I hope someone can help me. I've had this smallrig cage for my Lumix S5 mark iix for a couple of months and it's been fine until now. Lately, I can't get the top handle to tighten on to the cage and it seems like no matter what I do, it still slides! Does anyone have any idea why or how I can fix this issue? I hope the video illustrates the point I'm trying to make and any help on the matter would be greatly appreciated! |
2024.05.16 17:55 autreiyas Gathered some of the noteworthy comments from Tisa Tells breakdown of CA and Ak’s statements
 | The audience is not slow. I don’t usually get my info from tisa tells but I just went through the comment section of her video where she breaks down the hotel incident, CA livestream and a part of Akademiks’ stream that touched on his case. These were the ones that caught my attention. Could any of these lead anywhere? The main one sparking my attention is the underground tunnel theory. Aren’t there underground tunnels in NY? submitted by autreiyas to DarkKenny [link] [comments] P.S. Mods if this is considered doxxing or misnformation delete it but please don’t ban me. I’m just trying to get some of these ideas centralized. Everyone isn’t in this subreddit (and for good reason) |
2024.05.16 17:55 Pigeon-Of-Peridot Attachment types and 'leaning on' other centers
So in the theory, there's a thing where Rejection and Frustration types are very dependent on and overuse their primary center, while Attachments are 'disconnected' from it in a way. But if you aren't using your center to process information, then what are you using to process information?
Probably another center, right? I think some/most Attachments lean on at least one of the other centers, at least on a surface level. Of course, there's still the underlying process of the core center, but they can take on the Flavour of their crutch center to compensate for the disconnect from the core.
Let's take 9 as an example: both still have 9's characteristic repression of anger, but a head-leaning 9 might think "I need to be reasonable, I can't let my biases affect my actions" (from my own experience) and a heart-leaning 9 might think "I'm a calm person normally, this isn't the real me" or "My loved ones will reject me if I show anger" (this one might be a bit off because I'm not as familiar with heart triad, sorry.) You can see how the crutch centers modulate the expression of the core type- and how this might lead to potential misunderstandings.
Some more examples.
Gut-leaning 6: "If I'm not careful enough / caught off guard, I'll be powerless and unable to assert my will." Heart-leaning 6: "I'm having doubts about this person- can they really be trusted? I need to test them and see."
Head-leaning 3: [meticulously planning out their entire life down to the week] "If I just follow this, I'll achieve maximum success." Gut-leaning 3: "Get-up-and-go is the most important, success is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration."
As a head-influenced 9 myself, I still catch myself discarding my initial gut reaction (which is usually negative lmao) to come up with a palatable and Reasonable 'second opinion', one that makes logical sense but is in no way similar to what I really feel. I'm also very scared of accidentally treating my subjective experience as the objective truth (saying "this sucks" instead of "I don't like this"). It is like my first instinct is to react instinctively, but then I have tojustify... paper over it with Logic and Reasoning.
You get the idea. I think this makes a lot of sense for Attachments because it makes use of that classic adaptability, and it makes a somewhat decent replacement for the unreliable core center.
[Note: This is still kind of half-baked and it's midnight where I live, but I'm putting it out there- in particular, I'm still not sure what makes a particular person choose a crutch center, although I have a suspicion that it's somehow linked to wings and/or trifix. Might need a bit more data on that one.]
submitted by Pigeon-Of-Peridot to Enneagram [link] [comments]
Probably another center, right? I think some/most Attachments lean on at least one of the other centers, at least on a surface level. Of course, there's still the underlying process of the core center, but they can take on the Flavour of their crutch center to compensate for the disconnect from the core.
Let's take 9 as an example: both still have 9's characteristic repression of anger, but a head-leaning 9 might think "I need to be reasonable, I can't let my biases affect my actions" (from my own experience) and a heart-leaning 9 might think "I'm a calm person normally, this isn't the real me" or "My loved ones will reject me if I show anger" (this one might be a bit off because I'm not as familiar with heart triad, sorry.) You can see how the crutch centers modulate the expression of the core type- and how this might lead to potential misunderstandings.
Some more examples.
Gut-leaning 6: "If I'm not careful enough / caught off guard, I'll be powerless and unable to assert my will." Heart-leaning 6: "I'm having doubts about this person- can they really be trusted? I need to test them and see."
Head-leaning 3: [meticulously planning out their entire life down to the week] "If I just follow this, I'll achieve maximum success." Gut-leaning 3: "Get-up-and-go is the most important, success is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration."
As a head-influenced 9 myself, I still catch myself discarding my initial gut reaction (which is usually negative lmao) to come up with a palatable and Reasonable 'second opinion', one that makes logical sense but is in no way similar to what I really feel. I'm also very scared of accidentally treating my subjective experience as the objective truth (saying "this sucks" instead of "I don't like this"). It is like my first instinct is to react instinctively, but then I have to
You get the idea. I think this makes a lot of sense for Attachments because it makes use of that classic adaptability, and it makes a somewhat decent replacement for the unreliable core center.
[Note: This is still kind of half-baked and it's midnight where I live, but I'm putting it out there- in particular, I'm still not sure what makes a particular person choose a crutch center, although I have a suspicion that it's somehow linked to wings and/or trifix. Might need a bit more data on that one.]
2024.05.16 17:54 nog_u Load testing hitting "hidden" network limits?
Hi. I'm a backend software engineer that is getting into entrepreneurship and I recently met and became founders with a designer and another engineer (frontend). We are trying to validate our idea with potential investors/early users and one of the tasks I've been taking is figuring out how much traffic/users our current MVP can handle, so we can have an estimate of how much to charge users and come up with sensible projections and such.
We came up with measuring what would it take to handle 1k, 100k and 1kk users, with what we built so far.
Our stack for the moment (internal MVP) is just a single EC2 with a domain pointing to it, and then internally i'm using nginx as a reverse proxy to point to the nodejs app. We also have an RDS for the database and we are using S3 to store user generated content. The network is a VPC with a CIDR block of 10.0.0.0/16, two public subnets in different availability zones, and internet gateway associated with the VPC alongside a route table associated with the VPC and subnets and finally a security group allowing inbound and outbound traffic on the usual routes (443, 80 and 22)
The way i'm trying to load test the backend is by spinning up another ec2 in the same subnet, and using K6 with a "generic" flow of going through all API endpoints we expect an usual user to use within the app, and my original plan was to take note on CPU/RAM usage of both the EC2's and the RDS to see what was the breaking point, as i was increasing the virtual users in k6. However i noticed that increasing the backend EC2 size, the load generator EC2 was receiving EOF errors at nearly the same amount of VUs (around 400-600). I even tried getting the best EC2 class that had a similar name to the one we were using (we are using t2.micro for the MVP, i tried changing it to t2.xlarge).
Monitoring the RAM/CPU usage, except for the t2.micro, all the other classes were performing fine at the times the load generator ec2 started getting errors. Same for RDS. I tried looking at the application logs to see any obvious errors but i couldn't find logic errors anywhere (like db connection failing or things like that). This leaves me to believe the bottlenet is network related. Would that be a correct assumption?
Is there rate limiting on how much traffic a single EC2 can take from the network? Am I overlooking something at my approach? Does my plan make sense? I want to be able to tell what we'll need to handle 1kk users, for example, so I can make a sensible plan on scaling up when the time comes.
Sorry for any grammar mistakes, english is not my first language and if you've read this far, thanks for your time!
submitted by nog_u to networking [link] [comments]
We came up with measuring what would it take to handle 1k, 100k and 1kk users, with what we built so far.
Our stack for the moment (internal MVP) is just a single EC2 with a domain pointing to it, and then internally i'm using nginx as a reverse proxy to point to the nodejs app. We also have an RDS for the database and we are using S3 to store user generated content. The network is a VPC with a CIDR block of 10.0.0.0/16, two public subnets in different availability zones, and internet gateway associated with the VPC alongside a route table associated with the VPC and subnets and finally a security group allowing inbound and outbound traffic on the usual routes (443, 80 and 22)
The way i'm trying to load test the backend is by spinning up another ec2 in the same subnet, and using K6 with a "generic" flow of going through all API endpoints we expect an usual user to use within the app, and my original plan was to take note on CPU/RAM usage of both the EC2's and the RDS to see what was the breaking point, as i was increasing the virtual users in k6. However i noticed that increasing the backend EC2 size, the load generator EC2 was receiving EOF errors at nearly the same amount of VUs (around 400-600). I even tried getting the best EC2 class that had a similar name to the one we were using (we are using t2.micro for the MVP, i tried changing it to t2.xlarge).
Monitoring the RAM/CPU usage, except for the t2.micro, all the other classes were performing fine at the times the load generator ec2 started getting errors. Same for RDS. I tried looking at the application logs to see any obvious errors but i couldn't find logic errors anywhere (like db connection failing or things like that). This leaves me to believe the bottlenet is network related. Would that be a correct assumption?
Is there rate limiting on how much traffic a single EC2 can take from the network? Am I overlooking something at my approach? Does my plan make sense? I want to be able to tell what we'll need to handle 1kk users, for example, so I can make a sensible plan on scaling up when the time comes.
Sorry for any grammar mistakes, english is not my first language and if you've read this far, thanks for your time!
2024.05.16 17:54 Jade_Dragon777 What would a miraculous of perception be?
I'm trying to write one with a really unusual miraculous. I haven't completely decided, either the powers you get depends on how attached the kwami and the holder are, OR transformation leads to at absolute max a Danny phantom style pallet swap, and usually not even that much, a streak in the hair and a change in eye color.
Basically the ability would be various degrees of reading people and noticing things, from just being good with reading body language to full out aura seeing. (The idea of this is it's from a miraculous that wasn't in a box, and that they'd eventually be able to realize secret identities)
But I don't really have an idea for the animal. The best I got is a axolotl, but I wanted to look for other ideas first.
The animals from the Chinese box are off limits, but feel free to use the animals from other boxes/ magical items (I haven't watched since Marinette told Alya, idk if they made more)
submitted by Jade_Dragon777 to MiraculousFanfiction [link] [comments]
Basically the ability would be various degrees of reading people and noticing things, from just being good with reading body language to full out aura seeing. (The idea of this is it's from a miraculous that wasn't in a box, and that they'd eventually be able to realize secret identities)
But I don't really have an idea for the animal. The best I got is a axolotl, but I wanted to look for other ideas first.
The animals from the Chinese box are off limits, but feel free to use the animals from other boxes/ magical items (I haven't watched since Marinette told Alya, idk if they made more)
2024.05.16 17:54 allmightybroz How i partly got rid of my social anxiety
Hello everyone,
I am gonna share my story about how i partly got rid of my social anxiety. I hope this will help someone. I will try my best to explain but i am not good at explaining things. (Probably because of SAD)
A quick backstory of myself
I had strick parents growing up, they weren't the biggest devils on Earth but they were strict. I was bullied as a kid, not physically more like mentally. Also wasn't the worst bullying in the world, but it did exist. Had cruel teachers and colleagues in school. My mom was shy and had social anxiety. I was naturally shy and didn't talk much.
Everyone always told me i was quiet and didn't talk, but when i talked , they would: ignore me, disturb me, mock me or didn't listen. I was stuck in a magic loop. Be quiet or get ignored.
So yeah, i was doomed from start to have a social anxiety.
The lore
My country is a part tourist country and during school summer break it is normal for teenagers to get a part time summer job. Everyone in my class was getting one ( except maybe a few students it depended on the year) and me. I never tried to get a summer job because of my social anxiety. One year i didn't really need a job, the other year i was close to apply but just quit. But this one year my friend from highschool, said he was gonna apply to some job in a camp and asked me if i wanted to join. I applied. I had no idea what the job is about and what i am gonna do, but still applied because i didn't know what to do at home. I just didnt want to stay at home doing nothing if i had an opportunity to go work. I wasn't lazy or afraid of work, i was afraid of people and social interactions.
Later i find out the job is like pool guard/ cleaner. So in the morning i am supposed to clean pools and later when the pool opens i am supposed to watch over guests and if someone asks me something i am supposed to answer them the most nicest way possible. Also sometimes I am supposed to come over some guests and tell them something.
The job as you can guess is pretty opposite of my personality and because i had social anxiety it was really a pain to do it. So i was supposed to talk to strangers, which was painful for me because i couldn't talk to people until i met them and i get comfortable. Also i got nervous when someone asked me questions ( especially if i didnt know the answer to). I needed to approach some random people and tell them things, which was also painful for me just thinking i needed to approach someone. Also i was meeting some new people every single day. ( Which was also problem for me)
I had no problem working, for me it was okay to work because i was already working something at home. I had just some invisble fear of people and i was always a little stiff. It was pain to work but everyday it was a little bit easier. I was getting a little bit comfortable every day.
First day was horrible for me, before the day even started I was stressed and nervous. On first day i met like 5 people. Everyone told me and saw i was scared and frightened (which some people also told me over the years). Which i was, it was a very new experience and i didnt know what to expect. I was constantly nervous and stiff. After the first day ended I was a little bit relieved, it was a lot easier for me because i checked my enviroment and surroundings.
I was reading a book "Atomic habits" by James Clear ( which isn't really about social anxiety , but had to do with developing habits but i am sure it can help in other ways) and in that book he said that if we want to make a change, we first need to start by changing our mentality and thinking.
So basically every time a guest wanted to ask me something or I needed to approch someone I would just say to myself : Okay , dont be scared be as nice as possible.
It took some time, after a month or so i was feeling a little bit better. And after another 2 months I was even better. I still sometimes feel a little bit "scared" in social situations. Like when there are a lot of people, but i am a lot better in situations when there are less people like maybe 3 or 4 people. Before i was "scared" even with that. And also i dont know how to intialize or keep the conversation going but we are getting there.
A little side story of experience before i got the job and after i got the job
3 or 4 years ago (before i got this job) I was pulled over by police. It was just some random road check, they wanted to see my drivers license and my car license. But when they pulled me over i completely froze and was half paralised I could barely move. I stopped the car and i didnt pull the parking brake and the officer told me to show him my drivers license, i quickly as i could pulled out a drivers license because i thought he would kill me if i didnt show it in under 2 seconds. And i just lost control forgot i didnt hold no brake and my car went backwards a few meters, and i showed him my drivers license and car license, he asked me if i was okay. And after it was over my friends teased me a little for my car going backwards.
A few months ago i was stopped by police because i crossed the red light. Basically i was late for class and was in a hurry to get on time to start writing exam. And traffic light was about to turn green but it took forever to turn green. I had no patience for light to turn green i was trying to get to the class to write a test as quickly as possible. So i crossed it at red and after a few seconds it turned green. And they jumped me out of nowhere. I was a little bit surprised but after a few seconds handled the situation calmly. Also the officers were nice to me and asked me were i was going, i said i was latte for the exam and that's why i crossed the street. And they asked me what i was studying and we talked for some minutes.
So anyway thats about it. Before I used to have this uncomfortable feeling in every social situation where I would feel my body temperature rise and my body becomes half paralised and stiff where i could barely move. Sometimes i would shake a little and sometimes when i talked i would mumble.
Now i rarely get that feeling, i get it in rare occasions when i enter a room for example but even then it is not as painful as it used to be. Only big problem now is i don't know how to intialize conversation with someone, like if i wanted to meet someone what would i tell them or how to get close with someone. I also don't know how to explain things with people understand me or how to express myself.
Thanks for reading.
Sorry for bad English
submitted by allmightybroz to socialanxiety [link] [comments]
I am gonna share my story about how i partly got rid of my social anxiety. I hope this will help someone. I will try my best to explain but i am not good at explaining things. (Probably because of SAD)
A quick backstory of myself
I had strick parents growing up, they weren't the biggest devils on Earth but they were strict. I was bullied as a kid, not physically more like mentally. Also wasn't the worst bullying in the world, but it did exist. Had cruel teachers and colleagues in school. My mom was shy and had social anxiety. I was naturally shy and didn't talk much.
Everyone always told me i was quiet and didn't talk, but when i talked , they would: ignore me, disturb me, mock me or didn't listen. I was stuck in a magic loop. Be quiet or get ignored.
So yeah, i was doomed from start to have a social anxiety.
The lore
My country is a part tourist country and during school summer break it is normal for teenagers to get a part time summer job. Everyone in my class was getting one ( except maybe a few students it depended on the year) and me. I never tried to get a summer job because of my social anxiety. One year i didn't really need a job, the other year i was close to apply but just quit. But this one year my friend from highschool, said he was gonna apply to some job in a camp and asked me if i wanted to join. I applied. I had no idea what the job is about and what i am gonna do, but still applied because i didn't know what to do at home. I just didnt want to stay at home doing nothing if i had an opportunity to go work. I wasn't lazy or afraid of work, i was afraid of people and social interactions.
Later i find out the job is like pool guard/ cleaner. So in the morning i am supposed to clean pools and later when the pool opens i am supposed to watch over guests and if someone asks me something i am supposed to answer them the most nicest way possible. Also sometimes I am supposed to come over some guests and tell them something.
The job as you can guess is pretty opposite of my personality and because i had social anxiety it was really a pain to do it. So i was supposed to talk to strangers, which was painful for me because i couldn't talk to people until i met them and i get comfortable. Also i got nervous when someone asked me questions ( especially if i didnt know the answer to). I needed to approach some random people and tell them things, which was also painful for me just thinking i needed to approach someone. Also i was meeting some new people every single day. ( Which was also problem for me)
I had no problem working, for me it was okay to work because i was already working something at home. I had just some invisble fear of people and i was always a little stiff. It was pain to work but everyday it was a little bit easier. I was getting a little bit comfortable every day.
First day was horrible for me, before the day even started I was stressed and nervous. On first day i met like 5 people. Everyone told me and saw i was scared and frightened (which some people also told me over the years). Which i was, it was a very new experience and i didnt know what to expect. I was constantly nervous and stiff. After the first day ended I was a little bit relieved, it was a lot easier for me because i checked my enviroment and surroundings.
I was reading a book "Atomic habits" by James Clear ( which isn't really about social anxiety , but had to do with developing habits but i am sure it can help in other ways) and in that book he said that if we want to make a change, we first need to start by changing our mentality and thinking.
So basically every time a guest wanted to ask me something or I needed to approch someone I would just say to myself : Okay , dont be scared be as nice as possible.
It took some time, after a month or so i was feeling a little bit better. And after another 2 months I was even better. I still sometimes feel a little bit "scared" in social situations. Like when there are a lot of people, but i am a lot better in situations when there are less people like maybe 3 or 4 people. Before i was "scared" even with that. And also i dont know how to intialize or keep the conversation going but we are getting there.
A little side story of experience before i got the job and after i got the job
3 or 4 years ago (before i got this job) I was pulled over by police. It was just some random road check, they wanted to see my drivers license and my car license. But when they pulled me over i completely froze and was half paralised I could barely move. I stopped the car and i didnt pull the parking brake and the officer told me to show him my drivers license, i quickly as i could pulled out a drivers license because i thought he would kill me if i didnt show it in under 2 seconds. And i just lost control forgot i didnt hold no brake and my car went backwards a few meters, and i showed him my drivers license and car license, he asked me if i was okay. And after it was over my friends teased me a little for my car going backwards.
A few months ago i was stopped by police because i crossed the red light. Basically i was late for class and was in a hurry to get on time to start writing exam. And traffic light was about to turn green but it took forever to turn green. I had no patience for light to turn green i was trying to get to the class to write a test as quickly as possible. So i crossed it at red and after a few seconds it turned green. And they jumped me out of nowhere. I was a little bit surprised but after a few seconds handled the situation calmly. Also the officers were nice to me and asked me were i was going, i said i was latte for the exam and that's why i crossed the street. And they asked me what i was studying and we talked for some minutes.
So anyway thats about it. Before I used to have this uncomfortable feeling in every social situation where I would feel my body temperature rise and my body becomes half paralised and stiff where i could barely move. Sometimes i would shake a little and sometimes when i talked i would mumble.
Now i rarely get that feeling, i get it in rare occasions when i enter a room for example but even then it is not as painful as it used to be. Only big problem now is i don't know how to intialize conversation with someone, like if i wanted to meet someone what would i tell them or how to get close with someone. I also don't know how to explain things with people understand me or how to express myself.
Thanks for reading.
Sorry for bad English
2024.05.16 17:54 StateGuilty Walked out
Finally decided to just walkout yesterday despite getting the 4th highest raise in the store last month (mind you 68 cents isn’t shit man). I work at ups and that job sucks but it pays way better. My boss Kelly and yes I’ll name her cause she’s a bitch, keeps insisting on me being a bike builder despite having like 2 hours of training and me constantly telling her I need help, basically the last straw was yesterday we got to first break which for inbound is 1hr and 45 minutes in and I didn’t have a single bike built had like 3 partially built and basically I rage quit out of pure frustration. Sucks too cause I very much liked the job but dude I can’t work every day being set up to fail by my own boss. My etl tried calling me but I just ignored. Then I just no call no showed today. Fuck this place honestly man. I know I was a damn good worker too,much better than she’s gonna get. Now they won’t have anybody else good to throw the trucks when the main thrower isn’t there
submitted by StateGuilty to Target [link] [comments]
2024.05.16 17:54 nog_u Load testing hitting "hidden" network limits?
Hi. I'm a backend software engineer that is getting into entrepreneurship and I recently met and became founders with a designer and another engineer (frontend). We are trying to validate our idea with potential investors/early users and one of the tasks I've been taking is figuring out how much traffic/users our current MVP can handle, so we can have an estimate of how much to charge users and come up with sensible projections and such.
We came up with measuring what would it take to handle 1k, 100k and 1kk users, with what we built so far.
Our stack for the moment (internal MVP) is just a single EC2 with a domain pointing to it, and then internally i'm using nginx as a reverse proxy to point to the nodejs app. We also have an RDS for the database and we are using S3 to store user generated content. The network is a VPC with a CIDR block of 10.0.0.0/16, two public subnets in different availability zones, and internet gateway associated with the VPC alongside a route table associated with the VPC and subnets and finally a security group allowing inbound and outbound traffic on the usual routes (443, 80 and 22)
The way i'm trying to load test the backend is by spinning up another ec2 in the same subnet, and using K6 with a "generic" flow of going through all API endpoints we expect an usual user to use within the app, and my original plan was to take note on CPU/RAM usage of both the EC2's and the RDS to see what was the breaking point, as i was increasing the virtual users in k6. However i noticed that increasing the backend EC2 size, the load generator EC2 was receiving EOF errors at nearly the same amount of VUs (around 400-600). I even tried getting the best EC2 class that had a similar name to the one we were using (we are using t2.micro for the MVP, i tried changing it to t2.xlarge).
Monitoring the RAM/CPU usage, except for the t2.micro, all the other classes were performing fine at the times the load generator ec2 started getting errors. Same for RDS. I tried looking at the application logs to see any obvious errors but i couldn't find logic errors anywhere (like db connection failing or things like that). This leaves me to believe the bottlenet is network related. Would that be a correct assumption?
Is there rate limiting on how much traffic a single EC2 can take from the network? Am I overlooking something at my approach? Does my plan make sense? I want to be able to tell what we'll need to handle 1kk users, for example, so I can make a sensible plan on scaling up when the time comes.
Sorry for any grammar mistakes, english is not my first language and if you've read this far, thanks for your time!
submitted by nog_u to ExperiencedDevs [link] [comments]
We came up with measuring what would it take to handle 1k, 100k and 1kk users, with what we built so far.
Our stack for the moment (internal MVP) is just a single EC2 with a domain pointing to it, and then internally i'm using nginx as a reverse proxy to point to the nodejs app. We also have an RDS for the database and we are using S3 to store user generated content. The network is a VPC with a CIDR block of 10.0.0.0/16, two public subnets in different availability zones, and internet gateway associated with the VPC alongside a route table associated with the VPC and subnets and finally a security group allowing inbound and outbound traffic on the usual routes (443, 80 and 22)
The way i'm trying to load test the backend is by spinning up another ec2 in the same subnet, and using K6 with a "generic" flow of going through all API endpoints we expect an usual user to use within the app, and my original plan was to take note on CPU/RAM usage of both the EC2's and the RDS to see what was the breaking point, as i was increasing the virtual users in k6. However i noticed that increasing the backend EC2 size, the load generator EC2 was receiving EOF errors at nearly the same amount of VUs (around 400-600). I even tried getting the best EC2 class that had a similar name to the one we were using (we are using t2.micro for the MVP, i tried changing it to t2.xlarge).
Monitoring the RAM/CPU usage, except for the t2.micro, all the other classes were performing fine at the times the load generator ec2 started getting errors. Same for RDS. I tried looking at the application logs to see any obvious errors but i couldn't find logic errors anywhere (like db connection failing or things like that). This leaves me to believe the bottlenet is network related. Would that be a correct assumption?
Is there rate limiting on how much traffic a single EC2 can take from the network? Am I overlooking something at my approach? Does my plan make sense? I want to be able to tell what we'll need to handle 1kk users, for example, so I can make a sensible plan on scaling up when the time comes.
Sorry for any grammar mistakes, english is not my first language and if you've read this far, thanks for your time!
2024.05.16 17:53 SlimyboiPav Stratagem Concept : Tactical Barricade (sorry if incorrect flair)
 | STATS 1 second call in time 2 second extension time 30 second cool down Unlimited uses Max 5 placed at once It would have enough health that if a charger charged it it would stun him (like if he ran into a wall) and break submitted by SlimyboiPav to LowSodiumHellDivers [link] [comments] HOW IT WORKS Basically the idea is that it would land, then the middle part would rise up and the shield would extend outwards perpendicular to throw direction. The shield is low enough that divers can shoot over it while staying mostly covered or crouch for full cover. USES I think it would be useful to help with defence missions as you can chain multiple together to make a large wall, and it can also be used in emergency situations such as to block chargers to line up other Stratagem or just as a general protective piece of cover, especially for bots or open planets where natural cover is lacking, and its fast recharge gives it lots of versatility on the battlefield. This is my first ever concept so criticisms and questions are welcome and I might make some more if this gains traction. |
2024.05.16 17:53 Unlucky_Quote6394 I wrote a letter to read to my primary doctor tomorrow, should I just trash it?
Hi everyone 👋🏻
I've been doing a tonne of thinking for a while, and although I'm open to the very real possibility that I have ME/CFS, there are many conditions that my Doctor has yet to rule out... in the 4 years since my symptoms first started.
A year ago she told me that I need to "learn to live with this" and stopped referring me to specialists. I can go round her and self-refer, but that's only an option if I self-refer and self-pay at clinics in other countries. Self referral is not an option in the country I live in (the Netherlands).
I've written a letter to read to my Doctor at an appointment I have tomorrow. In the letter I talk about how my life has been ruined, is progressively getting worse, that the only 'treatment' that has been offered to me (Graded Exercise Therapy) has been proven to be harmful, and that I need her to rule out other realistic options like lupus, lyme disease, mold toxicity, sleep apnea (there are others I included in this list too) etc. before she can tell me for the second time to "live with" my illness.
I need advice please!
Do you think I'm going to come across like a d*ck, or should I go ahead and read her the letter when I see her tomorrow?
submitted by Unlucky_Quote6394 to cfs [link] [comments]
I've been doing a tonne of thinking for a while, and although I'm open to the very real possibility that I have ME/CFS, there are many conditions that my Doctor has yet to rule out... in the 4 years since my symptoms first started.
A year ago she told me that I need to "learn to live with this" and stopped referring me to specialists. I can go round her and self-refer, but that's only an option if I self-refer and self-pay at clinics in other countries. Self referral is not an option in the country I live in (the Netherlands).
I've written a letter to read to my Doctor at an appointment I have tomorrow. In the letter I talk about how my life has been ruined, is progressively getting worse, that the only 'treatment' that has been offered to me (Graded Exercise Therapy) has been proven to be harmful, and that I need her to rule out other realistic options like lupus, lyme disease, mold toxicity, sleep apnea (there are others I included in this list too) etc. before she can tell me for the second time to "live with" my illness.
I need advice please!
Do you think I'm going to come across like a d*ck, or should I go ahead and read her the letter when I see her tomorrow?
P.s. I wrote a letter rather than having to rely on my memory tomorrow because, well you know, my brain doesn't work properly and if I don't write things down, I'll forget them 😫
2024.05.16 17:53 nog_u Load testing hitting some "hidden" network limits?
Hi. I'm a backend software engineer that is getting into entrepreneurship and I recently met and became founders with a designer and another engineer (frontend). We are trying to validate our idea with potential investors/early users and one of the tasks I've been taking is figuring out how much traffic/users our current MVP can handle, so we can have an estimate of how much to charge users and come up with sensible projections and such.
We came up with measuring what would it take to handle 1k, 100k and 1kk users, with what we built so far.
Our stack for the moment (internal MVP) is just a single EC2 with a domain pointing to it, and then internally i'm using nginx as a reverse proxy to point to the nodejs app. We also have an RDS for the database and we are using S3 to store user generated content. The network is a VPC with a CIDR block of 10.0.0.0/16, two public subnets in different availability zones, and internet gateway associated with the VPC alongside a route table associated with the VPC and subnets and finally a security group allowing inbound and outbound traffic on the usual routes (443, 80 and 22)
The way i'm trying to load test the backend is by spinning up another ec2 in the same subnet, and using K6 with a "generic" flow of going through all API endpoints we expect an usual user to use within the app, and my original plan was to take note on CPU/RAM usage of both the EC2's and the RDS to see what was the breaking point, as i was increasing the virtual users in k6. However i noticed that increasing the backend EC2 size, the load generator EC2 was receiving EOF errors at nearly the same amount of VUs (around 400-600). I even tried getting the best EC2 class that had a similar name to the one we were using (we are using t2.micro for the MVP, i tried changing it to t2.xlarge).
Monitoring the RAM/CPU usage, except for the t2.micro, all the other classes were performing fine at the times the load generator ec2 started getting errors. Same for RDS. I tried looking at the application logs to see any obvious errors but i couldn't find logic errors anywhere (like db connection failing or things like that). This leaves me to believe the bottlenet is network related. Would that be a correct assumption?
Is there rate limiting on how much traffic a single EC2 can take from the network? Am I overlooking something at my approach? Does my plan make sense? I want to be able to tell what we'll need to handle 1kk users, for example, so I can make a sensible plan on scaling up when the time comes.
Sorry for any grammar mistakes, english is not my first language and if you've read this far, thanks for your time!
submitted by nog_u to aws [link] [comments]
We came up with measuring what would it take to handle 1k, 100k and 1kk users, with what we built so far.
Our stack for the moment (internal MVP) is just a single EC2 with a domain pointing to it, and then internally i'm using nginx as a reverse proxy to point to the nodejs app. We also have an RDS for the database and we are using S3 to store user generated content. The network is a VPC with a CIDR block of 10.0.0.0/16, two public subnets in different availability zones, and internet gateway associated with the VPC alongside a route table associated with the VPC and subnets and finally a security group allowing inbound and outbound traffic on the usual routes (443, 80 and 22)
The way i'm trying to load test the backend is by spinning up another ec2 in the same subnet, and using K6 with a "generic" flow of going through all API endpoints we expect an usual user to use within the app, and my original plan was to take note on CPU/RAM usage of both the EC2's and the RDS to see what was the breaking point, as i was increasing the virtual users in k6. However i noticed that increasing the backend EC2 size, the load generator EC2 was receiving EOF errors at nearly the same amount of VUs (around 400-600). I even tried getting the best EC2 class that had a similar name to the one we were using (we are using t2.micro for the MVP, i tried changing it to t2.xlarge).
Monitoring the RAM/CPU usage, except for the t2.micro, all the other classes were performing fine at the times the load generator ec2 started getting errors. Same for RDS. I tried looking at the application logs to see any obvious errors but i couldn't find logic errors anywhere (like db connection failing or things like that). This leaves me to believe the bottlenet is network related. Would that be a correct assumption?
Is there rate limiting on how much traffic a single EC2 can take from the network? Am I overlooking something at my approach? Does my plan make sense? I want to be able to tell what we'll need to handle 1kk users, for example, so I can make a sensible plan on scaling up when the time comes.
Sorry for any grammar mistakes, english is not my first language and if you've read this far, thanks for your time!
2024.05.16 17:53 onceortwiceisaidit Rattling/Knocking sound after running in scorching heat for about 25 minutes at 90 kmh
Meteor 350 (2022) - Still under 3 yr warranty.
It was scorching hot outside but I needed to commute. I've never ridden in such heat before - it was so hot I was turning into jerky underneath my gear. Was cruising on the highway at about 80-90 kmh for about 20-25 minutes, exited the highway, geared down to first gear and stopped at a traffic light. After I picked up from the traffic light, I started hearing this knocking/rattling sound from the transmission (could be the engine, but read on), like some loose metal piece was being thrown around inside or something.
I immediately pulled over to check what the sound was. When the bike was revved in neutral, there was no sound (which is why I think its the transmission). I shook it off and began riding again. The sound came back! I was almost at my destination so I rode with the sound for about 5 more minutes and parked up my bike (indoors, cooler area). Came back a few hours later, bike was completely cold. Started it up and rode off home. Never heard that sound ever since (it's been a week).
Any idea what it was? Could it be because of the hot weather, causing the engine to run hotter than normal or too hot (there was no check engine light or anything)?
submitted by onceortwiceisaidit to royalenfield [link] [comments]
It was scorching hot outside but I needed to commute. I've never ridden in such heat before - it was so hot I was turning into jerky underneath my gear. Was cruising on the highway at about 80-90 kmh for about 20-25 minutes, exited the highway, geared down to first gear and stopped at a traffic light. After I picked up from the traffic light, I started hearing this knocking/rattling sound from the transmission (could be the engine, but read on), like some loose metal piece was being thrown around inside or something.
I immediately pulled over to check what the sound was. When the bike was revved in neutral, there was no sound (which is why I think its the transmission). I shook it off and began riding again. The sound came back! I was almost at my destination so I rode with the sound for about 5 more minutes and parked up my bike (indoors, cooler area). Came back a few hours later, bike was completely cold. Started it up and rode off home. Never heard that sound ever since (it's been a week).
Any idea what it was? Could it be because of the hot weather, causing the engine to run hotter than normal or too hot (there was no check engine light or anything)?