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2024.05.15 19:17 lambchopsuey The SGI-USA's generational bottleneck
One of the fascinating aspects of outsider reports and analysis is what they see. Given that at this point (1992) the internet was not yet widely available/accessible, this sort of thing would have been difficult to find. And of course SGI wasn't ever going to tell us the truth!
This will show you that SGI-USA (then called "NSA") was failing in recruiting far earlier than perhaps most of us in the US realized. SGI in the USA was basically a flash in the pan; it fizzled fast; and now it's just that rank stale smoke smell that lingers long after the fire's been put out.
This comes from Cults and Nonconventional Religious Groups: A Collection of Outstanding Dissertations and Monographs, "Nichiren Shoshu Buddhism and the Soka Gakkai in America: The Ethos of a New Religious Movement", Jane Hurst, 1992, pp. 150-151. Jane Hurst has some interesting research out there; while she tends toward being uncritically supportive of SGI, anyone who is making statistics available is a big help.
This youthfulness is largely reflected in the early organization's origins in the American servicemen who returned from being stationed in Japan with their Japanese war-brides - those servicemen tended to be young and from a variety of ethnicities and backgrounds, as the draft was still in effect during that time period (ended March 1975). In addition, the first General Director of the US organization, Masayasu Sadanaga, initially targeted college campuses for recruitment by offering lectures on Buddhism. Sadanaga changed his name to George M. Williams in 1972, in obedience to the (short-lived) direction back then of Japanese leaders adopting American-sounding names (first AND last) in order to appeal more broadly to non-Japanese Americans.
Most of the original "Oriental members" were those Japanese war-brides, whose first efforts to recruit new SGI members were directed toward other Japanese individuals.
Ego Era" and "50K Liars of Just-Us" (everybody wants to forget the epic fail that was the "Gandhi, King, Ikeda" exhibit), has made the slightest difference in this demographic disaster. In fact, preparing for the 2018 "50K" event, SGI-USA likely had only 2,451 members in the 12-35 (or perhaps 11-39) age group, just 9% of the most generous SGI-USA active membership total (~30,000).
submitted by lambchopsuey to sgiwhistleblowers [link] [comments]
This will show you that SGI-USA (then called "NSA") was failing in recruiting far earlier than perhaps most of us in the US realized. SGI in the USA was basically a flash in the pan; it fizzled fast; and now it's just that rank stale smoke smell that lingers long after the fire's been put out.
This comes from Cults and Nonconventional Religious Groups: A Collection of Outstanding Dissertations and Monographs, "Nichiren Shoshu Buddhism and the Soka Gakkai in America: The Ethos of a New Religious Movement", Jane Hurst, 1992, pp. 150-151. Jane Hurst has some interesting research out there; while she tends toward being uncritically supportive of SGI, anyone who is making statistics available is a big help.
NSA members in the 1960s and 1970s were young (52% below age 30), more than half female (59%), and from a variety of occupations and social classes.The Baby Boom generation were at most age 19 in, say, 1965 and at most age 24 in 1970.
This youthfulness is largely reflected in the early organization's origins in the American servicemen who returned from being stationed in Japan with their Japanese war-brides - those servicemen tended to be young and from a variety of ethnicities and backgrounds, as the draft was still in effect during that time period (ended March 1975). In addition, the first General Director of the US organization, Masayasu Sadanaga, initially targeted college campuses for recruitment by offering lectures on Buddhism. Sadanaga changed his name to George M. Williams in 1972, in obedience to the (short-lived) direction back then of Japanese leaders adopting American-sounding names (first AND last) in order to appeal more broadly to non-Japanese Americans.
The percentage of Oriental members steadily decreased as more and more white and black Americans joined NSA as seen in Figure 10, above.Figure 10 (I'll get to that line in another post.)
Most of the original "Oriental members" were those Japanese war-brides, whose first efforts to recruit new SGI members were directed toward other Japanese individuals.
NSA members came from the major religious traditions of Protestantism (30%), Catholicism (30%), and Judaism (6%). At the time these 1971 statistics were compiled, all areas of American society. By 1983, the age span was even more broad, with 11% of the members age 50 and above, 62% ages 30-49, 24% ages 20-29, and 3% below age 19.For reference, here are the age ranges for the existing generations in 1983:
- Greatest: Ages 59-82
- Silent: Ages 38-58
- Baby Boomers: Ages 19-37
- Generation X: Ages 4-18
- Generation Y (Millennials): Age 3 or younger.
- 11% of the SGI-USA membership was MUCH OLDER than Baby Boomers
- 62% was either Baby Boom generation or older (though younger than that oldest group)
- 24% was Baby Boomers
- 3% was younger than Baby Boomers.
IN 1983!!
Notice how this affirms the demographic estimate from this other research: "Soka Gakkai in America": Little appeal/interest outside of Baby Boom generationTake a look at Table 4.It's the same problem happening in Japan within the Soka Gakkai:
Specifically, the Age cohort (%) category.
For the Converts, 26% are older than Baby Boomers; 61% are Baby Boomers. That makes 87% Boomer and older. Only 14% are younger than Boomers.
No wonder SGI-USA is aging and dying, with these kinds of numbers!
We are seeing, like, 90% Baby Boomers in the group photos we've looked at.
The pictures back this up.
Also, this comment by an SGI-USA leader a few years ago during Minoru Harada's visit (anyone know what year that was?):
They [top SGI-USA leaders] then went off on how when we create these big-ass meetings, we shouldn't have to look into the crowd and see, and I quote, "A bunch of old-ass motherfuckers" The words of my "superiors", not mine. I think this is when they brought up the idea of 50K to my co-leaders and me. Source"Old-ass motherfuckers" is all they have. How 'bout showing a little of that appreciation and gratitude SGI bangs on about??
Worse, "old-ass motherfuckers" is all SGI-USA can get.
Further, again referring to Table 4, SGI-USA's membership is solidly 2/3 women. That means it's going to be very difficult for women in SGI-USA to find mates to marry, which means childlessness will be more of a norm than an exception. Child-free is a valid and respect-worthy decision, don't get me wrong, but a religion's most reliable source of younger members is its own membership's children. Since SGI-USA's female members don't feel any responsibility or obligation to bear multiple children (like those poor, stupid Mormon sheepwomen do), there won't be any next generation to take over.
There's a reason so many religions have traditionally exhorted their membership to have lots of babies, why they condemn birth control and abortion. A big part of it is to keep their own numbers up! Source
On the other hand, aging is relentless. In terms of the Soka Gakkai's membership demographics, the "volume zone" where most members fall is the baby boomer generation who joined by the 1960s. They are now late elderly. In the past, the management of centers in various places was handled by the "Gajokai" consisting of Young Men's Division members, but it is no longer possible to secure personnel. Instead, in 2009, the Soka Gakkai launched the "Ojokai'' consisting of "middle-aged divisions,'' scolding them as "young people in their 50s'' and rushing to mobilize them. SourceGOOD LUCK!
For perspective, note that SGI-USA was managing to recruit just "1,000 per YEAR" - including all ages - between 1991 and 1999. Eight years of only 1,000 members added per year, with no accounting for the deaths or defections. Were the years after that more successful, recruiting-wise? I doubt it.From 2018:
[Then-SGI-USA's public-relations director for the East Coast Bill] Aiken says SGI-USA has attracted about 1000 new members per year for the past eight years. - from 1999. Only 1,000 new members - across the ENTIRE 360+ million-person strong USA - in an ENTIRE year. And this extremely low level of success for EIGHT YEARS IN A ROW!! Source
In recent years, the number of young Soka Gakkai members has been decreasing rapidly . Looking at the participants in the simultaneous broadcasts and roundtable discussions, the majority are of the grandparents' generation, with only a small number of young people in their 20s and 30s, and the number of teenage boys and girls is almost an endangered species .And "Soka Gakkai is like an old people's club":
Therefore, what I am interested in is the population of Soka Gakkai by age group. This time, I would like to estimate the current population of Soka Gakkai by age , based on information I have personally seen and heard and verification from others . Please note that this estimate is very rough.
First, the largest number of Soka Gakkai members are baby boomers (born between 1947 and 1949 [Japan's Baby Boom]). This seems almost certain considering the history of the development of Soka Gakkai .
Also, the total number of members has already been verified by many people, and is estimated to be around 3 to 5 million people. This time we assume about 4 million people .
And this is what I heard directly from a staff member at headquarters last year, who said , `` The number of activists decreases by about 1/3 with each generation.'' I think this is a reasonable rate of decline that can be felt by looking at participants in simultaneous broadcasts and roundtable discussions. It seems that members who have stopped being activists are less likely to have their children join, so this time we will use a value of 1/3 per generation as the member decline rate .
Also, regarding the number of years it takes for generational change, the average age for men and women to give birth to their first child is currently 30 years old. Considering that the average age of childbearing for both men and women when the baby boomer generation was born was 24 years old, and that there are cases where not only the first child but also the second and third children are born, the generational shift will take 30 years. Let's calculate it as if it would take a year . In that case, the annual membership attrition rate would be (1/3)1/30 = 0.964, or 3.6% .
It is unclear when this trend of declining membership started, but this time we will assume that it started in the year following the baby boom generation (1950). Source
Regarding the problem of a decline in Komeito votes, or in other words, a decline in active Soka Gakkai members, many people concerned point out that the primary cause is the aging of Soka Gakkai members. The enthusiastic members of the generation who supported the growth of the society along with charismatic Honorary President Daisaku Ikeda are now elderly across the board. Most of the current new members are second- or third-generation members who join because their parents are members of Soka Gakkai, and they are not very enthusiastic about Soka Gakkai's activities. Today, many of Soka Gakkai's daily events are even derided by insiders as "like an old people's party."And a more recent report (this year):
Back about 20 years ago a good friend and good guy, now deceased, from ChiTown, was commissioned by SGI Central Command to survey every contactable member of SGI in every district in America. The number he came up with was 5% of the number of Gohonzon passed out since, I guess whenever Gohonzon started to be passed out. The total number was about a million give or take, 20 years ago. These were contactable people, not practicing members. I remember going through lists of people we had on the books and trying to see if they could be reached. So the number we came up with was reported. Hearing nothing about it, I happened to run into my friend at some event at Soka U. He mentioned that he did the survey, and gave me the results. I believe he told me the facts. (Not everyone who practiced was a lying asshole.) So about 20 years ago SGI had about 50,000 “contactable“ people who had received Gohonzon. My estimate that about half of that number had zero interest in SGI. Thus 20 years ago, SGI had about 25,000 members still interested in SGI in some capacity. I think it’s the same number today. (2500 districts x 10=25,000.) Like I said before I went to FNCC twice last year, and everyone, including me, were old zany seniors. Neither conference was for old people. Conclusion: SGI is a senior citizen support group. When I joined in1969, we were all hippie ish, rejecting all the old shit, looking for something new and hip. Now SGI looks like old shit. SourceAnd another (this year or last):
When I joined 50+ years ago the ratio of youth to MD and WD was about 80:20. Now it's the reverse. Our goal is to move steadily back to a youth focus again. SourceExcept it's obvious that SGI-USA doesn't HAVE "20% youth":
Youth? They've got to be fooling themselves!!! When I was still with the SGI last February (2023), I went to the kosen-rufu gongyo meeting at the center in my area. Mind you, the state I live in closed its center in 2021 for undisclosed reasons. That aside, the one I went to was in another state, and at that meeting, they had no byakuren, Gajokai, or Soka Group in attendance. Additionally, the only youth at the meeting were a few small children. SourceThe PROBLEM was already evident in 1983 - and none of the SGI-USA's big "Recruit-Youth-A-Thons", like "Victory over Violence" and "Rock The
I feel that SGI is out of touch with anyone who’s younger than 60. The leaders are retired, have a lot of time on their hands and completely disregard the fact that people may work or have families. For young people it’s the old people taking nonsense. Source
Ikeda could have preserved a "youthful" Soka Gakkai by passing the Presidency to a younger candidate, but Ikeda refused, because Ikeda was too focused on and obsessed with HIMSELF - his power, his prestige, his wealth, his status, his fame, his renown, HIM becoming leader of the world, his PERMANENCY, and his legacy. He refused to let anyone else come anywhere CLOSE to the power and control - he greedily, selfishly clutched it all tightly to himself and refused to share.SGI-USA has never managed to recover from that demographic bottleneck that happened no later than 1983.
THAT is why the Ikeda cult Soka Gakkai/SGI is aging and dying. It's ALL Ikeda's fault, Ikeda's responsibility. IKEDA DID THAT.
Some "mentor". Source
2024.05.15 19:09 ThatBritishWoman Today I was busy..
 | So today I unexpectedly acquired these 3 beautiful betta females who have always been together. submitted by ThatBritishWoman to bettafish [link] [comments] I had to get my old tank ready, super fast! I took some water from my established tank and used some of the sponge filter from my big tank to run it with a separate sponge filter for these lovely ladies. I have added hiding spaces and floating plants while I wait for tomorrows delivery of plants for the betta. I tested the water and have attached pictures, I'd appreciate feed back on what's a must and what isn't. I want to give them the best life ever ❤️ |
2024.05.15 18:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
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2024.05.15 18:52 DugDiggaDome Male Substitute Teacher Seeking Advice
I was in a situation the other day where I truly didn't know how to respond, so I just wanted to put it here and see what other teachers/subs think. For context, I am a 30 year old male, but still look relatively young. I also (not to sound douchey) am a "handsome young man" according to female coworkers who like to always try and pry into my personal life... anyways...
I was subbing at an elementary school I have only subbed at once before. That one time was a 4th grade class and the kids were great. They made me this awesome flip book saying thank you and it was filled with pictures and all the kids signed it. Really heartwarming stuff haha fast forward to yesterday and I am back at this school. This time I am just doing a half day in the library. Super simple. At the end of the day a bunch of kids come into the library for carpool and dismissal and some kids from that 4th grade class are apart of that group. A lot of them come up to me and say my name and give me fist bumps. But, when some of the girls are called for dismissal, they run up to me and give me a hug, totally catching me off-guard. The first girl that did it I kinda did a "hover-arm" around her, then the second girl gave me a big hug and I did the same thing. After the second girl hugged me, two teachers standing nearby made a comment along the lines of, "wow you seem to really be making some friends." I'm not sure if they meant it facetiously or genuinely, but when the third girl came up to me when her ride came, I kind of panicked because I felt a little awkward. Luckily she only went with a fist bump...
I guess what I am seeking advice on is how do I go about situations like this in the future?? I try to be overly cautious as a male teacher, but honestly, to know that these kids remembered me and liked me being their substitute so much that they hugged me seems somewhat fulfilling. Would like to hear some constructive feedback if possible. Thanks!
TL;DR : Young female students hugged me (M30) and caught the attention of other staff. Appropriate or inappropriate?
submitted by DugDiggaDome to Teachers [link] [comments]
I was subbing at an elementary school I have only subbed at once before. That one time was a 4th grade class and the kids were great. They made me this awesome flip book saying thank you and it was filled with pictures and all the kids signed it. Really heartwarming stuff haha fast forward to yesterday and I am back at this school. This time I am just doing a half day in the library. Super simple. At the end of the day a bunch of kids come into the library for carpool and dismissal and some kids from that 4th grade class are apart of that group. A lot of them come up to me and say my name and give me fist bumps. But, when some of the girls are called for dismissal, they run up to me and give me a hug, totally catching me off-guard. The first girl that did it I kinda did a "hover-arm" around her, then the second girl gave me a big hug and I did the same thing. After the second girl hugged me, two teachers standing nearby made a comment along the lines of, "wow you seem to really be making some friends." I'm not sure if they meant it facetiously or genuinely, but when the third girl came up to me when her ride came, I kind of panicked because I felt a little awkward. Luckily she only went with a fist bump...
I guess what I am seeking advice on is how do I go about situations like this in the future?? I try to be overly cautious as a male teacher, but honestly, to know that these kids remembered me and liked me being their substitute so much that they hugged me seems somewhat fulfilling. Would like to hear some constructive feedback if possible. Thanks!
TL;DR : Young female students hugged me (M30) and caught the attention of other staff. Appropriate or inappropriate?
2024.05.15 18:52 da_chicken Tiny Tina's Wonderlands is not what I was hoping it would be
I've never had a good opportunity to sit down and do a run through TTWL. I'd played a couple hours in the past, but never really made it the game I was going to play. Well, I've now spent about two weeks playing it in my spare time. I'm at or just after the Wastard boss fight, which is pretty close to the end of the main story. I've been doing some side quests, but I've wanted to unlock gear slots so I've been sticking to the main quest.
Overall, I am having fun. The good:
submitted by da_chicken to Borderlands [link] [comments]
Overall, I am having fun. The good:
- The game is fun. The enemies are fun to fight. Flying enemies are a bit annoying, but they're kept pretty rare. I like how chaotic combat feels.
- I like that they made melee combat repeat by holding the button down. You don't have to mash that button anymore. 100% that should always be there going forward.
- I like the idea of armor, rings, amulets, and melee weapons being drops. That's cool. I kinda wish armor actually gave you armor, though.
- The story is fine. I appreciate the TTRPG jokes.
- Setting is cool. A fantasy world that feels true to TTRPG settings and as goofy as Borderlands likes to be.
- Voice acting is great. Villain is great. Tina is great. Other players are... whatever. I like Wanda Sykes even if her character is meh.
- Enemy variety is good. Talking skeletons are hilarious. Goblin "tricksters" in barrels are fun even if their ram attack has too much knockback.
- There aren't really mechanics around melee combat. You just hold down melee, and then try to keep the enemy on screen. There are talents that make you better and the weapons often feel satisfying, but overall melee doesn't feel very deep for how important it seems to be.
- Melee interrupting and resetting reload animations feels awful. Reload animations feel relatively long in WL, and if you miss the timing a little bit because some mob is eating your face that you want to finish off, you have to start the whole thing over. I really, really hate it.
- The classes are kinda underwhelming. They remind me of BL1 classes more than anything. The ability trees are kinda dull; mostly static mods that don't do a whole lot plus a few kill skills. The action skills just feel like unique spells unless it's a pet, but the number of spells waters them down a lot. Having two classes is a great idea, but... it's not transformative gameplay like the BL3 classes were. Ability scores in particular feel lazy.
- The way encounters work in instances really sucks. Instead of organically approaching an area, you're dumped into a combat arena. There aren't enough maps, either, or they get reused way too much. Instead of knowing where the enemies are and where safety is, they teleport in around you so you're constantly surrounded. Surrounded by melee enemies that will happily mob you and pin you in a corner. That might be realistic, but it's sure as shit ain't fun in an FPS. It's a good thing that snipers seem mostly terrible because there's so many encounters where they won't do anything. Need to run away and reload? The game will helpfully teleport enemies in front of you! And god help you if you die during the third stage of one of these instanced dungeons because you get to do all three of those fights again!
- OK, it's a little thing, but when you complete an overworld shrine they don't activate on their own. You have to go back and activate them. Why? Why isn't finding all 4 parts good enough? And why are the bonuses so boring? Faster walking on the overworld? 10% more XP? These... suck. They feel like, "We nerfed you from baseline so we could find rewards to give back to you!"
- The overworld likes to steal or lock your camera controls in certain areas. No. Bad. Stop that.
- Map navigation on PC is fucked, too. You have to drag the reticle on the map to select things. The mouse just isn't used as a pointing device. Oh, but if you accidentally have the mouse where the list of travel locations are going to be on the UI when you open the map, well, then the map will automatically refocus to that spot instead of where you are. Want to refocus on yourself? Too bad. The easiest way to do that is to move the mouse to the right side of the screen then close and re-open the map.
- The enemies feel... bizarrely bullet spongey. Worse, quite a lot of them just charge at you and melee. Even with an FOV of 105+, it's obnoxious simply because it's hard to see what is going on. I want the option of switching to third person camera.
- So many enemies randomly have immunity shields, too, where you have to wait until you can attack them. That's maybe fine for an area boss, especially when they flood the boss arena with adds or do a phase change, but it's bullshit that a mook pirate with a ship's wheel as a "shield" just takes no damage or that the miniboss has a 15s immunity shield on a 20s cooldown. It's not overpowered. It's boring. I'm reminded of EgoRaptor's Ocarina of Time video: "There is so much goddamn waiting"
- There's a lot of enemies that explode randomly when they die or have damage zones that persist after they die (sometimes from your own elemental weapons!). This has the knock-on effect of sometimes you win a combat, but then the last enemy explodes or drops a poison pool and that knocks you out. It feels very cheap and bullshitty in solo play whenever BL knocks you out after all the enemies die, and WL seems uniquely good at doing that to reset your progress by denying a Death Save.
- The character creator doesn't really work. You get 5,000 sliders for the head and face, but they don't seem to do a whole lot. More oddly, there are only two body types, and they're kind of fixed based on class. You're a stabbomancer. Want your character to be a waifish girl assassin? Well, too bad. That's not possible. You either look like a kind of buff male wrestler or a kind of buff female wrestler. It feels like it misses the point entirely.
- So many guns have slow projectile speeds or arcing projectiles that the gunplay really suffers. Certain weapons (magic blast shotguns and explosive lobbers) feel like they don't do the damage they're rated for, and the range of impact on the target is both extreme and too varied. Some weapons just have no effect at all. Others have huge knockback... but only sometimes. Both of these feel like they harm the quality of gunplay.
- The loot feels like it sucks. It's too time consuming to go through it all, especially with the stupid inventory still being the same as it was in BL2. Like the rings and amulets don't feel like they do a lot unless you get a god drop, so it's hard to compare them.
- The non-weapon class modifiers feel lazy and nebulous. "+10% Stabbomancer power." OK, great. I'm a stabbomancer. 10% of what now? Just my active skill? Every skill or talent? And the Epics have two classes chosen at random. So there's about a 1 in 20 chance that the game will drop loot with mods for both my actual classes, and about a 50% chance that it will have neither of them. Most non-weapon drop drops are automatically trash loot for you. But you had best pick it all up to sell, because....
- Why are the SDUs so goddamn expensive? In fact, why is everything so goddamn expensive? If you want to buy something from the vending machine it's going to be 50% or more of your funds. I remember saving up to be able to afford maybe one thing from the vending machine in the future. That's steady throughout the whole game for me. SDUs are just a further drain.
- Dark element seems too good. Like I just always keep a dark element weapon on me now because it's basically the only active way to heal. You can either find potions on the ground (why can't I carry them?) or use a vending machine to heal (which I don't think I've done since BL1) or explode a healing barrel or I can use a dark weapon. That's it. Oh, I suppose you might get a drop with 0.5% heal per second on it, but whatever. I get that lightning is good vs ward, poison is good vs armor, fire is good vs flesh, and ice is good vs bone. But dark is the only way to extend survivability, really. Mainly because running away is often impossible (instanced encounters).
- The default keyboard layout is total garbage now, and I think it's because melee is important. WASD. E use. R reload. 1-4 weapons. Space is jump. F spell and G skill (or vice versa). H another skill sometimes. LCtrl slide and crouch and slam. Q is tag (I think?). C weapon mode. V is melee? Really? Why is such an important key there? It doesn't feel like they actually planned any of this out. I know it's the exact same layout as BL3, but the gameplay is much different. It's really annoying in ways I didn't expect. Why does it feel like there was just no thought put into how making melee important might prompt changes to the key layout? It just feels like every character is as input heavy as BL3's Zane, and it's because they didn't really think about anything.
- This has been a constant issue for me since Borderlands 2 (in BL1 it felt appropriate). Since they keep making this thoughtless design mistake I'm going to keep bringing it up. Why do they keep starting you off with only 2 weapon slots? Why does gear drop that I can't even equip? Why are gear slots locked at all if you can just level-gate drops from some categories? It's a looter shooter focused on switching weapons and gear frequently! Let me use the loot that drops and let me use more weapons! This is a shitty progression mechanic, and it feels even worse here. I think I found my first ring 4-5 levels before I could actually equip it. I'd found two epic rings before I could even equip one.
2024.05.15 18:44 shaneka69 LIBRA ZODIAC PREDICTIONS MAY 2024
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2024.05.15 18:39 ThrowRA28383818 My boyfriend is leaving me because I had high school pictures of my ex. He came back and left again. Thoughts??
I know how it sounds, but genuinely I did not see it this way. I had pictures from 2018/2019 of my ex in my phone, but I am one of those people who do not really go through my camera roll, and a lot of these pictures were mixed in with graduation pics, prom pics, etc. I have 10,000 photos, by the way. My boyfriend discovered this and asked me to delete them. I said okay I’ll do it right now, and he started cussing me out saying I’m a weird female. I tried explaining to him that I haven’t even looked at these pictures in years, and he just called me a liar. He packed his things and left and came home at midnight. Well I got up at 6am to get ready for school and he tried to have sex with me. I told him maybe tonight and he got very cold with me. It ended up being a fight and him leaving me again, saying he’s still upset about the pictures. Thoughts on this? I don’t know how to feel but I am very confused. I am 22F and my boyfriend is 27M.
submitted by ThrowRA28383818 to TwoHotTakes [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 18:35 Worry_Wrong 29F, facing dilemma about my relationship with 30M. Need advice for my conflicted, imperfect self
I am 29F, currently dating someone for almost a year now.
My past has made my trust factor a little off. I have been fighting this battle in my head forever.
The guy I am dating right now seems like a nice person, but like all of us(including me), even he is not perfect.
I went into this relationship with an open conversation about the emotional baggage and trauma from my past relationships. I would say i have fought 80% of my demons away, but the 20% lingers on. To make things more difficult I am an overthinker.
He had a female friend from his past who was obsessed with him. He has been very open about it to me from the beginning and also told me he has zero interest and interactions with her.
She has over the years joined his gym which was 50 mins away from her home. Befriended his friends, befriended his 6 years younger sister in the process. Even showed up to his house once uninvited.
He says he is forever grateful to her because she always was there to help him in the past and specifically during covid to help get cylinders for his grandmother (who practically raised him)
She tried for years to make him fall for her, while he was seeing someone else too, always questioning him and his choices and telling him how wrong he is as a human, yet having an obsession.
Her father messaged him last year when we started dating asking him to come over for to their house for dinner where he respectfully declined.
Ever since then he completely cut any contact with her personally. But somewhere it put a seed of doubt in my head.
Recently she got a tattoo with a face profile in line art which actually matched his profile picture which has been there since 2019. Yes, I am guilty to have checked a finsta account she has which only has 30 people out of which 20 are his friends.
As a trigger, I really lost my cool. Maybe I should not have. I questioned him and he somewhere felt what i thought was true as well and confronted her. Where she openly denied and said things like “how can you ever doubt me?” And refused and said it is a generic image and that probably his gf and named me and started saying that I am insecure.
My boyfriend now started blaming me that I picked an issue due to my overthinking and led to all this drama. Maybe I did. But if I can’t speak how I feel in my relationship. I don’t know how to be in one. I am very out there about my emotions in my relationship.
After the confrontation, that girl blocked my account on instagram. And he blocked her. She in a response to him blocking her, sent their chat to his younger sister who showed it to his parents who started questioning him.
My issue has forever been that he did say she creeped him out but his way of dealing with it is to keep distance and not feed her madness. For once in his life he questioned her and she reached out to his sister and his family. Why is it okay for her to never respect his boundaries. Ask his friends to pester him to date her, invaded his life, family and friends. Yet he just has one explanation. That i never liked her, and I never chose her and she knows it. What she does is not his problem.
From a point of anger and frustration, I have reached a point where I feel maybe I am the one who is the kind of person who should not be in a relationship. I was looking to settle down in my life, but I just feel worthless right now because I am being blamed while he justified her reactions by saying he poked her because of me even though he hasn’t spoken to her in a long time.
submitted by Worry_Wrong to RelationshipIndia [link] [comments]
My past has made my trust factor a little off. I have been fighting this battle in my head forever.
The guy I am dating right now seems like a nice person, but like all of us(including me), even he is not perfect.
I went into this relationship with an open conversation about the emotional baggage and trauma from my past relationships. I would say i have fought 80% of my demons away, but the 20% lingers on. To make things more difficult I am an overthinker.
He had a female friend from his past who was obsessed with him. He has been very open about it to me from the beginning and also told me he has zero interest and interactions with her.
She has over the years joined his gym which was 50 mins away from her home. Befriended his friends, befriended his 6 years younger sister in the process. Even showed up to his house once uninvited.
He says he is forever grateful to her because she always was there to help him in the past and specifically during covid to help get cylinders for his grandmother (who practically raised him)
She tried for years to make him fall for her, while he was seeing someone else too, always questioning him and his choices and telling him how wrong he is as a human, yet having an obsession.
Her father messaged him last year when we started dating asking him to come over for to their house for dinner where he respectfully declined.
Ever since then he completely cut any contact with her personally. But somewhere it put a seed of doubt in my head.
Recently she got a tattoo with a face profile in line art which actually matched his profile picture which has been there since 2019. Yes, I am guilty to have checked a finsta account she has which only has 30 people out of which 20 are his friends.
As a trigger, I really lost my cool. Maybe I should not have. I questioned him and he somewhere felt what i thought was true as well and confronted her. Where she openly denied and said things like “how can you ever doubt me?” And refused and said it is a generic image and that probably his gf and named me and started saying that I am insecure.
My boyfriend now started blaming me that I picked an issue due to my overthinking and led to all this drama. Maybe I did. But if I can’t speak how I feel in my relationship. I don’t know how to be in one. I am very out there about my emotions in my relationship.
After the confrontation, that girl blocked my account on instagram. And he blocked her. She in a response to him blocking her, sent their chat to his younger sister who showed it to his parents who started questioning him.
My issue has forever been that he did say she creeped him out but his way of dealing with it is to keep distance and not feed her madness. For once in his life he questioned her and she reached out to his sister and his family. Why is it okay for her to never respect his boundaries. Ask his friends to pester him to date her, invaded his life, family and friends. Yet he just has one explanation. That i never liked her, and I never chose her and she knows it. What she does is not his problem.
From a point of anger and frustration, I have reached a point where I feel maybe I am the one who is the kind of person who should not be in a relationship. I was looking to settle down in my life, but I just feel worthless right now because I am being blamed while he justified her reactions by saying he poked her because of me even though he hasn’t spoken to her in a long time.
2024.05.15 18:14 PassiePandaR Wrinkle the duck
So, I'm not sure how many people here are aware of the YouTuber Seducktive aka Wrinkle the duck. But I wanted to see/hear the thoughts of this community. To nutshell: this man travels EVERYWHERE with his pet duck, Wrinke. They live and travel via a van. They'll go into big environments like malls, shows, restaurants, etc. Wrinkle was born male but is referred to as female.
"Emotional support animals and comfort animals, are not service animals under Title II and Title III of the ADA." Service animals are restricted to various dog breeds and I believe small horses have been given this title too. With that being said, he often parades Wrinkle around advocating how because their an emotional support animal that they can go anywhere with them. Refer to their famous being banned from Bucky video. Which side tangent: the owner did oblige that if he had put Wrinkle on a leash they could've stayed. However he rudely does an imaginary leash joke and is surprised to be kicked out. I think banning was a bit too far - but he also made the situation worse.
"A person with a disability has a legal right to have a service dog anywhere they go, as that dog is trained to do a specific behavior that aids in their disability. An emotional support animal simply provides comfort by their presence but is not allowed to enter any public space or building." He clearly isn't aware of the law surrounding emotional animals or simply doesn't care.
Not too mention the ethical question of Wrinkle's well-being. Do ducks really enjoy traveling as much as they do? He feeds her water from a sippy cup every so often, but its clear they're going hours without eating and swimming. Now, I'm not trying to hate on this man or anything. But I think sometimes we get too caught up in thw cuteness or shocked reactions from the clips and forget to look at the bigger picture of things. I don't believe Wrinkle is in any kind of abusive environment. But I don't think it's too ethical either, but he came from the circus life so that doesn't surprise me.
submitted by PassiePandaR to duck [link] [comments]
"Emotional support animals and comfort animals, are not service animals under Title II and Title III of the ADA." Service animals are restricted to various dog breeds and I believe small horses have been given this title too. With that being said, he often parades Wrinkle around advocating how because their an emotional support animal that they can go anywhere with them. Refer to their famous being banned from Bucky video. Which side tangent: the owner did oblige that if he had put Wrinkle on a leash they could've stayed. However he rudely does an imaginary leash joke and is surprised to be kicked out. I think banning was a bit too far - but he also made the situation worse.
"A person with a disability has a legal right to have a service dog anywhere they go, as that dog is trained to do a specific behavior that aids in their disability. An emotional support animal simply provides comfort by their presence but is not allowed to enter any public space or building." He clearly isn't aware of the law surrounding emotional animals or simply doesn't care.
Not too mention the ethical question of Wrinkle's well-being. Do ducks really enjoy traveling as much as they do? He feeds her water from a sippy cup every so often, but its clear they're going hours without eating and swimming. Now, I'm not trying to hate on this man or anything. But I think sometimes we get too caught up in thw cuteness or shocked reactions from the clips and forget to look at the bigger picture of things. I don't believe Wrinkle is in any kind of abusive environment. But I don't think it's too ethical either, but he came from the circus life so that doesn't surprise me.
2024.05.15 18:09 andpersonality Do I need to uproot weeds?
 | Hello all! I live in the desert (8b). TL;DR, can I leave these weeds cut down as pictured? Or should I go back through and dig them out? submitted by andpersonality to NoLawns [link] [comments] Full question: Most of my neighbors have dirt/sand yards (no desert plants, just dirt), or clover, with a very few full grass lawns. Normally, I let whatever happens to the yard happen, enjoy whatever nature grew out there for a while, and when things go brown and I start feeling like people will think my house is deserted I call my landscape guy to hack everything back down to dirt. This year we got more rain than normal. I did my usual, and about a month later i was completely overgrown again. I couldn’t afford to pay again, so I got a skidger (pointy-hoe) and re-did the back myself, but it took me about 2.5 weeks of poking at it almost daily (context, I’m female, 5’3”, not athletic). The front is maybe a little over twice as big as the back and the weeds were much more dense, so in the same time it took me to clear a 3’x10’ patch in the back, I cleared a 2’x4’ in the front. The weather is already in the high 80’s-90’s, the ground is rocky and uneven, so I didn’t think a lawn mower would work out. Basically, my life flashed before my eyes, and I realized I might be in “does anyone even live there” territory for way longer than I wanted to. But my wife had a sudden inspiration and remembered weed whacking exists. I got a small rechargeable machine and chopped all the weeds down, and the images are what it looks like now. I had the idea before that I would get it looking decent, then take my time and go dig everything up. But now I’m worried I’ll just be making room for more weeds. Can the existing roots and cut-down plants act as a “cover” to keep new weeds from sprouting? Or should I go ahead with the original plan? Thanks for your time and advice! |
2024.05.15 17:55 Glittering-Towel-655 I (31f) am concerned about my boyfriend’s (27m) work wife. Am I over reacting and just trust him?
TL;DR boyfriend sexted his girl work friend the day after we split up for two weeks. They still communicate now that we are back together. She also hit on him while we were together. He says he doesn’t have feelings for her but the texts exchanged with each other say otherwise.
My bf and I have been seeing eachother for a year now. We were previously struggling and decided to break up. It only lasted two weeks. We have be going solid for 4 months after our break up.
Backstory: Recently, I noticed my boyfriend frequently discussing his female friend who helped him land a job. I asked if they ever had a thing, he said he used to have a crush on her when they first met 5 years ago, they hooked up once and have remained friends ever since. One day he showed me a video the girl sent him. It was the girls mom saying that she should go for matty and she wrote DTF?
That alarmed me but I suppressed the feelings for a while until she helped him get a job. During this time, they were conversing a lot more and he was very thankful of her, as he should be.
However it still was bothering me how much they were texting and that he I couldn’t stop thinking about that video.
So I when through his phone. I discovered sexual texts from him to her saying he wanting to sleep with her the day after we break up.
I also found texts from her to him while we WERE together saying “break up with her and date me” and “ I want to kiss you” “I’m prettier than her”. He joked with her and said they would be drunks together (I guess they used to party together). He was sending her the same pictures he would send me, and sometimes calling her pet names similar to what he would say to me (not honey or love but other cute names).
I confronted him about it. He said I can’t be mad because we were broken up at the time . He also dismissed it as drunken loneliness. he said he doesn’t have feelings for her and she has a bf now. I asked him why he joked around with her when she told him to date her and not say no he is with me. He said he didn’t want to upset her.
They still text often and make plans to hang out but never do. However now they work together and go to lunch.
Him and I are still together, happy. Except for this. These texts happened more than 3 months ago and I’m just seeing them now. I’m hurt he didn’t tell me about this, what else he might hide from me and if something will progress from just friends as now they work together.
He insists on their continued friendship because she did him a favor and got him this job. I told him I don’t feel comfortable if they hang out alone. He said he wouldn’t but it’s almost impossible since they work together now.
He also was furious I went through his phone. He said I was mentally ill for invading his privacy, said I’m the one who has issues, that I create my own miserable and paranoia, that I make up things in my head that aren’t true.
He then brought up all the shitty things I did in the relationship and said it’s not fair. We both were Unfaithful in our relationship in the early months but now we have been dating for a year. We are practically sober as these occurrences and the majority of our problems were created from booze. We are doing well at work, talking about moving in together and starting a family.
But this is really eating me up. I feel disrespected.
He says he doesn’t have feelings for her but it’s hard to believe when both parties showed interest and now work together, still communicate everyday.
He is upset with me for these accusations and has been distant. He said I need to get over it or leave. He says the only thing that is pulling us a part is me.
I don’t know if I’m over reacting like he says but I’m hurt and angry on how defensive and anger he got about this. He says I need to get off my meds because I’m delusional.
Should I just believe him and let them carry on? Or is this a ticking time bomb? I need a third person view here please help.
submitted by Glittering-Towel-655 to relationships_advice [link] [comments]
My bf and I have been seeing eachother for a year now. We were previously struggling and decided to break up. It only lasted two weeks. We have be going solid for 4 months after our break up.
Backstory: Recently, I noticed my boyfriend frequently discussing his female friend who helped him land a job. I asked if they ever had a thing, he said he used to have a crush on her when they first met 5 years ago, they hooked up once and have remained friends ever since. One day he showed me a video the girl sent him. It was the girls mom saying that she should go for matty and she wrote DTF?
That alarmed me but I suppressed the feelings for a while until she helped him get a job. During this time, they were conversing a lot more and he was very thankful of her, as he should be.
However it still was bothering me how much they were texting and that he I couldn’t stop thinking about that video.
So I when through his phone. I discovered sexual texts from him to her saying he wanting to sleep with her the day after we break up.
I also found texts from her to him while we WERE together saying “break up with her and date me” and “ I want to kiss you” “I’m prettier than her”. He joked with her and said they would be drunks together (I guess they used to party together). He was sending her the same pictures he would send me, and sometimes calling her pet names similar to what he would say to me (not honey or love but other cute names).
I confronted him about it. He said I can’t be mad because we were broken up at the time . He also dismissed it as drunken loneliness. he said he doesn’t have feelings for her and she has a bf now. I asked him why he joked around with her when she told him to date her and not say no he is with me. He said he didn’t want to upset her.
They still text often and make plans to hang out but never do. However now they work together and go to lunch.
Him and I are still together, happy. Except for this. These texts happened more than 3 months ago and I’m just seeing them now. I’m hurt he didn’t tell me about this, what else he might hide from me and if something will progress from just friends as now they work together.
He insists on their continued friendship because she did him a favor and got him this job. I told him I don’t feel comfortable if they hang out alone. He said he wouldn’t but it’s almost impossible since they work together now.
He also was furious I went through his phone. He said I was mentally ill for invading his privacy, said I’m the one who has issues, that I create my own miserable and paranoia, that I make up things in my head that aren’t true.
He then brought up all the shitty things I did in the relationship and said it’s not fair. We both were Unfaithful in our relationship in the early months but now we have been dating for a year. We are practically sober as these occurrences and the majority of our problems were created from booze. We are doing well at work, talking about moving in together and starting a family.
But this is really eating me up. I feel disrespected.
He says he doesn’t have feelings for her but it’s hard to believe when both parties showed interest and now work together, still communicate everyday.
He is upset with me for these accusations and has been distant. He said I need to get over it or leave. He says the only thing that is pulling us a part is me.
I don’t know if I’m over reacting like he says but I’m hurt and angry on how defensive and anger he got about this. He says I need to get off my meds because I’m delusional.
Should I just believe him and let them carry on? Or is this a ticking time bomb? I need a third person view here please help.
2024.05.15 17:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
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2024.05.15 17:47 Vepanion I would so much like to see what the male profiles (in my area) that do get regular matches look like
Every day here we see guys' profiles who say they are getting no matches, myself being one of those. For many of them I can see why in terms of looks (sorry), but increasingly I see ones who I think are seriously good looking with good profiles. Meanwhile women obviously do get plenty of matches (with some of those guys unfortunately being creeps), so there have to be guys out there who do get regular matches. I really just wonder what their profiles look like, particularly in my area and in my age range. I've been asking my female friends if they know any women who have a profile so I can see what their options are, but no luck so far. Do they all look like Ryan Gosling? Do they all have doctor or astronaut as occupation? Are they regular guys but just have a super creative profile that stands out? I've received plenty of advice about my profile and my looks but it's all a bit of a stab in the dark. If I got to see what success looks like I think I could make much more informed decisions (including whether or not to just give up on OLD).
Since y'all are going to ask what my profile looks like: At first I had just a few simple pictures taken within 5 minutes (by my female friend who convinced me to download the app in the first place) and no bio. I got two matches in two weeks and then nothing. I then had a post of mine blow up unexpectedly on tinder which resulted in a lot of kind people giving me advice (the usual: smiling, activities, no selfies) and some not so kind ones. The result was this profile: https://imgur.com/a/h4nuKMO which also had a few women in this subreddit say they liked it and would swipe right. With this, I got zero likes or matches for a month. I also received the advice that my glasses are dragging me down in terms of looks, so I got contacts (which I fucking hate to wear but that's another story). So I'm starting all over again and I do think I look better without glasses. So far I have these two pictures, which have received one like and zero matches. I'm 6'5.
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2024.05.15 17:44 shaneka69 LIBRA ZODIAC PREDICTIONS MAY 2024
LIBRA ZODIAC PREDICTIONS MAY 2024
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2024.05.15 17:37 Cesmina12 Genuine question: What's with all the looks-bashing?
Can someone explain to me why they do this? Like any good internet user, I love to bash cast members for bad behavior, but I don't get why folks feel compelled to pick apart their faces and bodies. There seems to be this sentiment of "They decided to go on TV and they're a jerk, so I can say whatever I want and it won't mean I'M a jerk. Even though by all accounts I sound like one right now."
Prime examples are Angela and Big Ed. Those two are beyond problematic and deserving of a ton of criticism and jokes at their expense, but Angela can't help her age and Ed can't help his birth defect. So why not stick to the things they actually CAN help? Namely that they're abusive people. There's also a shit ton of completely, totally, utterly average-looking cast members as well who are regularly pegged as physically repulsive (example: Clayton, who just looks like a regular white dorky guy). For the female cast members, there's a lot of "Well, she's not even that pretty, her nose...her extensions...blah blah."
If a cast member has plastic surgery, people are even harsher, probably because fans think that it speaks to that person's vanity. So we relentlessly bully someone when we don't think they look good, and then we crucify them when they have work done. It especially bothers me when I see people making fun of Darcey - that woman clearly has MASSIVE issues with self-worth and it seems like a lot of people follow her just to snark on her filters and procedures. I'm truly, really curious about what that does emotionally for the people knocking her. Do they feel better about themselves after? More at peace in their own bodies? Are they just blowing off steam?
Just a thought: when you make fun of a physical feature on a cast member, remember that it's ALSO hurtful to uninvolved people who have the same physical feature. If you looked up "100% average-looking White lady" in the dictionary, you would probably find a picture of me, but if I went on this show there'd be a million posts about how I'm basically Quasimodo.
submitted by Cesmina12 to 90dayfianceuncensored [link] [comments]
Prime examples are Angela and Big Ed. Those two are beyond problematic and deserving of a ton of criticism and jokes at their expense, but Angela can't help her age and Ed can't help his birth defect. So why not stick to the things they actually CAN help? Namely that they're abusive people. There's also a shit ton of completely, totally, utterly average-looking cast members as well who are regularly pegged as physically repulsive (example: Clayton, who just looks like a regular white dorky guy). For the female cast members, there's a lot of "Well, she's not even that pretty, her nose...her extensions...blah blah."
If a cast member has plastic surgery, people are even harsher, probably because fans think that it speaks to that person's vanity. So we relentlessly bully someone when we don't think they look good, and then we crucify them when they have work done. It especially bothers me when I see people making fun of Darcey - that woman clearly has MASSIVE issues with self-worth and it seems like a lot of people follow her just to snark on her filters and procedures. I'm truly, really curious about what that does emotionally for the people knocking her. Do they feel better about themselves after? More at peace in their own bodies? Are they just blowing off steam?
Just a thought: when you make fun of a physical feature on a cast member, remember that it's ALSO hurtful to uninvolved people who have the same physical feature. If you looked up "100% average-looking White lady" in the dictionary, you would probably find a picture of me, but if I went on this show there'd be a million posts about how I'm basically Quasimodo.
2024.05.15 17:35 TriBiscuit Occupation Hazard [36]
[First] - [Prev] - [Next]
—
Memory transcription subject: Herq, Tilfish Junior Exterminator
Date [standardized human time]: December 3rd, 2136
“Understood, on our way.” Frankie stuffed his radio away.
“W-What? More Arxur?” I shivered.
“Don’t think so. Hope not. We gotta go to the van.”
The human didn't give me time to reply as he stepped over the body like it wasn’t even there. Swallowing some bile, I took aimed steps around it. The smell of blood wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. It wasn’t any worse than burning flesh.
The stomps of Frankie’s boots down the stairs reminded me to keep moving. I scuttled down the stairs, turning the corner to see another body I was forced to step around. Two of them had come after us, two who were even more eager than the first group we encountered.
“Do you t-think it’s the same ones from before?” I asked.
The human grunted. “Hell if I know. But I wouldn’t doubt it one bit if it was. Guy got his ego hurt, and wanted some revenge. God knows if he was waiting there for an ambush.”
“They… couldn’t have known about the weapons, right?”
He shrugged. “Maybe. He at least knew we were stranded without a vehicle. Maybe put his bets on us getting some transport.”
I didn’t have much time to ponder it. Frankie was already peeking outside the building, shotgun raised. I came up behind him, checking behind as we scooted out of the building. Once he was confident, Frankie dashed towards the van.
We came upon it quickly. I was glad the Arxur he shot was on the other side to spare me from the gore. He turned around to the backside of the van, where his face contorted. “Holy shit.”
“What?” I asked, coming around next to him.
The scaly legs are the first thing I saw. They led up to its back, which looked like it had exploded. Blood was nearly everywhere around the gray, and I even thought I saw a piece of bone. My whole body begged me to run away from the gore, to find a corner to throw up in, but I couldn't look away. And that didn't even cover the Yotul.
The green-stained wraps around his legs were the first thing I noticed after the hulking mass of reptile. His right paw was a bleeding mess haphazardly wrapped in a loose bandage, and his other was curled around an Arxur gun—its gun, I realized. His face had speckles of red on it, much like the rest of the van. There was what could only be described as a huge gun beside him.
Relief washed over his features once he saw us, and he let the weapon clatter onto a bloody crate. “Where’s Luke?”
I watched Frankie for any signs of turning feral, despite the improbability of it ever happening. The copious amount of blood was more than enough to drive any predator into a crazed frenzy, but still Frankie showed enormous restraint. If anything, he almost looked… disgusted by it. I shouldn’t have been surprised.
He took a quick breath to steady himself. “Uh, Dusty took a few rounds, he’s patching her up. I see you can… handle yourself.”
“No,” the Yotul spat back. “It almost…” His voice broke, and he shook his head.
Frankie nodded. “Let’s get moving. I’ll… clear the way, if you could help him, Herq.” The human crouched down and gripped the monster's legs and gave a tug. He started sliding the body out of the way, a trail of blood marking every crate it was slumped over.
I took a step forward, suppressing a gag at the sights and smells. It was like walking into a predator’s den. Dark and damp and terrible, with evidence of what happened drowning my entire field of view. “W-What happened? It looks-”
“I shot the bastard.”
I twitched my antennae. “R-Right.” I took several breaths before finding the strength to proceed. I tried to ignore the blood marked across the walls and creeped in, though I couldn’t ignore the green smears that were on the crates. I did my best to avoid stepping on… anything, really.
The Yotul grabbed a red box full of first aid supplies and set it by his right side. He began to peel off the green-stained gauze on his paw. “I need an extra paw for this.”
“Of course. You’re Reno, right?” He ignored me. I felt a shiver spread through my carapace as he revealed the wound. “T-Those look like-”
“Yeah, I know.”
I gave him a flick of my antennae. He raised a bottle of what I assumed to be antibiotic solution, which I took. I gingerly uncapped the bottle and murmured, “This is going to sting.”
“Do you constantly state the obvious? Just get it over with.”
I took his paw in my feeler and generously poured it over the wound. He let out a small groan, but nothing more. I wiped it, then took some gauze and began wrapping it far better than he could with just a paw and a mouth. I tightened it, and sealed it with some adhesive.
“There. I-I think that’s good, but I don’t commonly work with other species.”
“I can tell.” The Yotul began to get up on their injured legs.
“A-Are you sure you should be walking?” He ignored me again. I stuck out an arm to help him. “Here, at least-”
“I don’t need your help,” he spat, slapping me away with annoyance. He shakily stood up, leaning precariously against the side of the van atop the crates.
I waved my antennae with concern. “I… Let me know if-”
“I won’t,” he coldly said, not giving me so much as a glance back as he hobbled out of the van.
I don’t blame him. The Arxur looked like he was inches away from tearing him apart. Not to mention the claw marks on his wrist… I can’t imagine what happened to him just moments ago.
I crawled out of the van after him, glad to be out, but probably not nearly as glad as him. Frankie came from around the van and dusted his hands.
“That was gross.” He turned to Reno. “You’re up already? Your legs are-”
“Worry about them when we’re in the truck. We need to get the fuck away from here.” He leaned against the van, catching his breath. He was clearly in pain, but didn’t want to show it.
“Gotcha. Luke should be—ah, right there.”
I followed his gaze, spotting the truck rolling towards us with its cracked windows and decorated doors. It stopped right beside the van. A human stepped out, the same one from the predator disease facility. He took one look at Reno, worry spreading across his face. “Holy shit.”
Reno grunted. “That’s what Frankie said.”
“I… We can talk in the truck,” Luke decided.
“Is my gun still in the building?”
“In the backseat.”
The Yotul lowered his head, letting out a breath of relief. I didn’t understand how much a simple firearm could possibly mean to him, but I wasn’t about to question him about it.
Lieutenant Holtas came to the other side of the van, whistling once he saw the crate. “Damn, this is… a lot.”
“Enough to turn the tide, I hope?” Frankie asked.
“There’s a chance it might be… If there’s anything left once we get back. Two of their bunkers are already swarming with Arxur.”
“T-Two?” I stammered. “Which ones?”
The predator shook his head dismissively. “Talk later.”
I shook my antennae in irritation, until another human then emerged from around the truck. It was the dark-skinned, dark-haired human from before as well, Dusty. Her vest had several lesions across it, far more than the few Frankie had received during his gutsiness. She wasn’t unscathed, however, as her left sleeve had been pulled up, revealing a stripe of bandaging. Her eyes regarded me with an expression I couldn't decipher, turning into a more shocked expression when they saw Reno. “...Damn.”
The Lieutenant turned to her. “Keep an eye out from where they came. Reno, do the same for the other side of the street. I’m not looking to get ambushed again.”
The two signaled their understanding. Luke’s gaze lingered a little longer on the wounded Yotul as he hobbled to retrieve his weapon from the truck.
Frankie grunted from behind me, picking up two big and bloodied crates. “Open the doors, would ya?”
I obliged, yanking open the hatches to the truck so the burly human could deposit the weapons. Luke walked past me, saw the mess in the back of the van, and shook his head while muttering something. Still, he crouched and grabbed two crates in each hand.
I couldn’t very well just stand around, so I begrudgingly walked over and picked the cleanest crates I could manage while repelling the numerous dry heaves my body wanted to conjure. I hefted them up, and followed the same path as Luke and Frankie.
I passed Dusty, who groaned, rubbing her left arm. “Why do these idiots use such a small caliber? You’d think they’d want to kill the people they’re shooting at.”
I nervously tilted my antennae. “You would… hope so.”
“They enjoy the thrill of the hunt,” Reno growled. “Use it to just incapacitate their prey. Dead ones don’t squirm while they’re eaten.”
An uncomfortable silence fell over the street. As we continued to load the human armaments into the truck, the two kept a cautious set of eyes out on either side of the street. Frankie managed to fit the big gun back into its respective crate while Luke stared at it, incredulously. Dusty glanced back with a similar look, which gave me the feeling the predators were all thinking the same thing. The only one who didn’t break his focus was Reno.
The van got emptier, the truck got fuller, and soon enough we were ready to leave this place for good. Luke gave us the clear and got into the driver seat. Frankie took the front passenger seat, leaving the three of us to squeeze into the back. The windshield left a lot to be desired, and I wondered if Luke would even be able to see through it.
It was cramped, to say the least. I was forced into the side, with the Yotul in the middle, while Dusty filled in the remaining seat. From someone looking in from outside, it would be a very strange sight to behold.
She slammed the door shut. “Tight fuckin’ fit. Hope we have enough fuel.”
“Won’t be an issue,” Luke said, sending the engine revving as we began to accelerate.
Thank Formi we’re finally leaving. How long have I been awake for? How long have the Arxur been in Tepisil? And how are the exterminators from the human camp doing? There’s far too much to worry about.
I hoped Tealk was fine in the hatchery’s bunker. That is, if it wasn’t already compromised. Tepisil was given the tiny mercy of just a small warning prior to any bombs dropping. The shelters were likely packed to the brim. Just waiting for the Arxur to come.
“Frankie, give me some light, would ya?” Dusty ordered. She had pulled Reno’s hindlegs on her lap, and was now inspecting them with the help of Frankie’s flashlight. I could see the green blood that had leaked down his legs from the wounds, along with pieces of black debris.
Reno had no choice but to let Dusty tend to him. I tried my best to ignore the blood she was forcing out by ripping through the bandages, though I gagged upon seeing her dig into his flesh with a pair of tweezers, pulling out a small bullet while he hissed in pain. Those were the only noises for a time while the human used a strange syringe to push some sort of foam into the wound, then tightly wrapping his legs.
She did a better job than I ever could’ve. At this point, it shouldn’t have impressed me that the predators had a concept of medicine or even treatment for the wounded, rather than just leaving the weak for dead. The amount of care she put into someone from another species spoke volumes to the humans’ empathetic capacity.
The streetlights of the city finally receded from us. I could almost feel the weighty air in the truck lighten, like a part of the despair had been left behind in Dirlsil. It wouldn’t last for long.
At some point in the middle of all the crop fields, Frankie cleared his throat. “Can I be the one to break the silence? ‘Cause Reno shot that gray with a whole bloody anti-materiel rifle.”
“God, I’m glad somebody finally fucking said it. Point blank, too,” Dusty said.
The Yotul didn’t offer a response, only stared off into the distance. I felt nothing but sympathy for him. They meant well, but I suspected they did more harm than good. The humans clearly had no idea what he’d just gone through; the fear, the uncertainty, the possibility of being eaten alive. I had a feeling the only reason he was alive was because of his quick thinking, the Arxur’s cockiness, and luck.
Luke cleared his throat. “Uh, how did you fare, Frankie? I saw the marks on your vest.”
My human grunted. “Barely even felt them hit me. Once the shooting started we dove back into the toy shop. Arxur are damn cocky bastards, but I don’t reckon they’re used to whatever they’re chasing fighting back so hard. Shot one, ran up the stairs, shot the other. Easy as that.”
It was not, in fact, as easy as that. I was terrified the entire time. It was Frankie who did everything, and even then, he screamed and shouted during the entire encounter. He was fearless in the face of fear while I had been useless. Again. My only saving grace was that I didn’t freeze like I did at the PD facility, even if that meant I merely ran instead. I felt a stab of anger mixed with regret, an entirely unwelcome feeling that I decidedly earned.
I can’t rely on the Terrans forever. At some point, my uncontrollable fear is going to cost lives. I… I can’t let fear be the driver.
“We had four of the fuckers on us,” Dusty said. “Retreated into the store opposite yours. We were doing just fine ‘till one of them tossed a grenade.”
I felt Reno tense up to me. He had a thousand-lightyear stare.
“Then they came in after us, separated us from Reno. They were fucking relentless, didn’t give us a chance to fight. Forced us all the way back into the stockroom, then kept pushing their luck. Finally had a corner, then the bastards leapt forward rather than being smart, getting me tagged. Hurts like hell just thinking about flexing the muscle.”
“God, can we change the subject? I regret asking,” Lieutenant Holtas said, shifting uncomfortably. “Frankie, you want to try again with the UN? And Herq, now that you’re with us, can you contact Von and inform him of what happened?”
I almost flinched when he said my name. “Y-Yeah, of course.” I started to pull out my holopad. I hovered over Tealk’s contact before moving to Von’s. I tapped the icon, and it rang for only a second before he picked up.
“Herq?”
I pulled the pad closer, overhearing Frankie start his own call to the UN. “Yes, it’s me. We made it out of Dirlsil with the weapons, and we’re in one piece.”
“Formi is that good to hear. I won't sugarcoat it, things have gotten much worse. You may have heard it from the humans, but cattle shuttles just landed around Bunker Four… which has no one to defend it. Bunker Six had contact and they are at a stalemate, but won't stay that way. I… sincerely hope you brought lots of ammo.”
I swallowed a lump in my throat. “I can’t say for certain what the predators brought with us… We’re driving as fast as we can, we expect to be there in forty minutes.”
“Too long… The grays are already going into buildings, trying to flush them out. We don’t have the firepower.”
“I… We need a rally point in order to distribute them as fast as possible.”
“One advantage is that they aren’t using their numbers prowling the empty buildings on the outskirts… Shit, Polle is calling me… It’s about Bunker Six. Listen, I’ll send you more information when I can. Call me ten minutes before you reach the city.”
“Yes, of course. Please, stay safe.”
“We both know that isn’t going to happen. Hurry.”
A tone signified he hung up the call. I tentatively swirled my antennae, seeing my company look away. “I-I’m guessing everyone heard that?”
Reno flicked his ears, and the humans nodded from the front seats. A steady silence came over us. It was probably well into the early hours of the morning at this point. My body was tired, and my mind more so. I knew well that I should have been more scared or worried, but I simply didn’t have the energy. It was like Frankie said earlier.
“Who wants a granola bar?” Frankie abruptly barked.
Luke shrugged. “I mean…”
The two humans accepted his offer, not like they had much choice since they were already being distributed. A bar was put into Reno’s paws, and suddenly, I was holding one too.
“It… doesn’t have meat, does it?” I asked.
“No, you idiot. I don’t eat meat,” Reno hissed, unwrapping his food.
“Sorry… I just wanted-”
“It’s just a bar of sugary grain. You’d think you would know by now that humans aren’t going to hurt you, or do anything else ‘predatory.’” He said the last word with distaste, like it personally offended him. He was clearly more used to the primates than I was, or ever could be. I knew they wouldn’t mean me any harm, but it was hard to shake off the thoughts that always lingered in my mind when around predators.
I thought his behavior was simply fried nerves from his close call with the Arxur, but there was something more to it, something bitter in his tone that hinted at more than just the last encounter. It reminded me of hearing about his outburst at my sister, Tealk, back at the hatchery. It didn’t sit right with me, but I wasn’t in any position to ask him about it, especially not at that moment.
Dusty was already stuffing the bar into her mouth, not much caring for how revolting I found it. I’d gotten used to their toothy smiles, but seeing her take a bite, just like she would chow down on a piece of bloody meat… If I wasn’t so hungry after so many hours, I would’ve lost my appetite.
Reno bit into the bar, and I carefully unwrapped mine, ignoring the female’s sickening mouth movements. I gave a cautionary sniff before taking a small nibble. It was acceptable, even good considering I hadn’t eaten for so long. I took another bite, then another, and then I noticed Dusty looking at me.
I couldn’t help the way my muscles tensed in agitation. She was instinctively sizing me up, now that food was on her mind. “W-What is it?” I stuttered.
She raised her eyebrows, glancing away. “Nothing. Just the way you move your hands, er… tarsals? Tarsals, across your mandibles when you eat. It’s… nevermind.”
My… tarsals? I flexed a feeler, inspecting it like something was wrong with it. I looked back at the predator, who was now looking out the window. At least she wasn’t… staring at me anymore. Humans got stranger every moment I spent with them. I thought there was a glimmer of hope that they wouldn’t all be as strange as Frankie, but that clearly had yet to be proven.
I took another small bite. Before I knew it, I had eaten the whole thing and had nothing left to occupy the time. There were only dark crop fields outside our truck, and predators or the predator-diseased inside. Nothing to distract me from the knowledge that Sillis was going to fall. Nothing to distract me from the thoughts telling me to give up, to run away, like a coward.
A muted atmosphere of haunting tranquility came over our vehicle, one that everyone silently and willfully acknowledged. We all knew what we were driving towards.
—
[First] - [Prev] - [Next]
Thanks to u/WCR_706 for proofreading. And, of course, thanks to SpacePaladin15 for the wonderful universe.
submitted by TriBiscuit to NatureofPredators [link] [comments]
—
Memory transcription subject: Herq, Tilfish Junior Exterminator
Date [standardized human time]: December 3rd, 2136
“Understood, on our way.” Frankie stuffed his radio away.
“W-What? More Arxur?” I shivered.
“Don’t think so. Hope not. We gotta go to the van.”
The human didn't give me time to reply as he stepped over the body like it wasn’t even there. Swallowing some bile, I took aimed steps around it. The smell of blood wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. It wasn’t any worse than burning flesh.
The stomps of Frankie’s boots down the stairs reminded me to keep moving. I scuttled down the stairs, turning the corner to see another body I was forced to step around. Two of them had come after us, two who were even more eager than the first group we encountered.
“Do you t-think it’s the same ones from before?” I asked.
The human grunted. “Hell if I know. But I wouldn’t doubt it one bit if it was. Guy got his ego hurt, and wanted some revenge. God knows if he was waiting there for an ambush.”
“They… couldn’t have known about the weapons, right?”
He shrugged. “Maybe. He at least knew we were stranded without a vehicle. Maybe put his bets on us getting some transport.”
I didn’t have much time to ponder it. Frankie was already peeking outside the building, shotgun raised. I came up behind him, checking behind as we scooted out of the building. Once he was confident, Frankie dashed towards the van.
We came upon it quickly. I was glad the Arxur he shot was on the other side to spare me from the gore. He turned around to the backside of the van, where his face contorted. “Holy shit.”
“What?” I asked, coming around next to him.
The scaly legs are the first thing I saw. They led up to its back, which looked like it had exploded. Blood was nearly everywhere around the gray, and I even thought I saw a piece of bone. My whole body begged me to run away from the gore, to find a corner to throw up in, but I couldn't look away. And that didn't even cover the Yotul.
The green-stained wraps around his legs were the first thing I noticed after the hulking mass of reptile. His right paw was a bleeding mess haphazardly wrapped in a loose bandage, and his other was curled around an Arxur gun—its gun, I realized. His face had speckles of red on it, much like the rest of the van. There was what could only be described as a huge gun beside him.
Relief washed over his features once he saw us, and he let the weapon clatter onto a bloody crate. “Where’s Luke?”
I watched Frankie for any signs of turning feral, despite the improbability of it ever happening. The copious amount of blood was more than enough to drive any predator into a crazed frenzy, but still Frankie showed enormous restraint. If anything, he almost looked… disgusted by it. I shouldn’t have been surprised.
He took a quick breath to steady himself. “Uh, Dusty took a few rounds, he’s patching her up. I see you can… handle yourself.”
“No,” the Yotul spat back. “It almost…” His voice broke, and he shook his head.
Frankie nodded. “Let’s get moving. I’ll… clear the way, if you could help him, Herq.” The human crouched down and gripped the monster's legs and gave a tug. He started sliding the body out of the way, a trail of blood marking every crate it was slumped over.
I took a step forward, suppressing a gag at the sights and smells. It was like walking into a predator’s den. Dark and damp and terrible, with evidence of what happened drowning my entire field of view. “W-What happened? It looks-”
“I shot the bastard.”
I twitched my antennae. “R-Right.” I took several breaths before finding the strength to proceed. I tried to ignore the blood marked across the walls and creeped in, though I couldn’t ignore the green smears that were on the crates. I did my best to avoid stepping on… anything, really.
The Yotul grabbed a red box full of first aid supplies and set it by his right side. He began to peel off the green-stained gauze on his paw. “I need an extra paw for this.”
“Of course. You’re Reno, right?” He ignored me. I felt a shiver spread through my carapace as he revealed the wound. “T-Those look like-”
“Yeah, I know.”
I gave him a flick of my antennae. He raised a bottle of what I assumed to be antibiotic solution, which I took. I gingerly uncapped the bottle and murmured, “This is going to sting.”
“Do you constantly state the obvious? Just get it over with.”
I took his paw in my feeler and generously poured it over the wound. He let out a small groan, but nothing more. I wiped it, then took some gauze and began wrapping it far better than he could with just a paw and a mouth. I tightened it, and sealed it with some adhesive.
“There. I-I think that’s good, but I don’t commonly work with other species.”
“I can tell.” The Yotul began to get up on their injured legs.
“A-Are you sure you should be walking?” He ignored me again. I stuck out an arm to help him. “Here, at least-”
“I don’t need your help,” he spat, slapping me away with annoyance. He shakily stood up, leaning precariously against the side of the van atop the crates.
I waved my antennae with concern. “I… Let me know if-”
“I won’t,” he coldly said, not giving me so much as a glance back as he hobbled out of the van.
I don’t blame him. The Arxur looked like he was inches away from tearing him apart. Not to mention the claw marks on his wrist… I can’t imagine what happened to him just moments ago.
I crawled out of the van after him, glad to be out, but probably not nearly as glad as him. Frankie came from around the van and dusted his hands.
“That was gross.” He turned to Reno. “You’re up already? Your legs are-”
“Worry about them when we’re in the truck. We need to get the fuck away from here.” He leaned against the van, catching his breath. He was clearly in pain, but didn’t want to show it.
“Gotcha. Luke should be—ah, right there.”
I followed his gaze, spotting the truck rolling towards us with its cracked windows and decorated doors. It stopped right beside the van. A human stepped out, the same one from the predator disease facility. He took one look at Reno, worry spreading across his face. “Holy shit.”
Reno grunted. “That’s what Frankie said.”
“I… We can talk in the truck,” Luke decided.
“Is my gun still in the building?”
“In the backseat.”
The Yotul lowered his head, letting out a breath of relief. I didn’t understand how much a simple firearm could possibly mean to him, but I wasn’t about to question him about it.
Lieutenant Holtas came to the other side of the van, whistling once he saw the crate. “Damn, this is… a lot.”
“Enough to turn the tide, I hope?” Frankie asked.
“There’s a chance it might be… If there’s anything left once we get back. Two of their bunkers are already swarming with Arxur.”
“T-Two?” I stammered. “Which ones?”
The predator shook his head dismissively. “Talk later.”
I shook my antennae in irritation, until another human then emerged from around the truck. It was the dark-skinned, dark-haired human from before as well, Dusty. Her vest had several lesions across it, far more than the few Frankie had received during his gutsiness. She wasn’t unscathed, however, as her left sleeve had been pulled up, revealing a stripe of bandaging. Her eyes regarded me with an expression I couldn't decipher, turning into a more shocked expression when they saw Reno. “...Damn.”
The Lieutenant turned to her. “Keep an eye out from where they came. Reno, do the same for the other side of the street. I’m not looking to get ambushed again.”
The two signaled their understanding. Luke’s gaze lingered a little longer on the wounded Yotul as he hobbled to retrieve his weapon from the truck.
Frankie grunted from behind me, picking up two big and bloodied crates. “Open the doors, would ya?”
I obliged, yanking open the hatches to the truck so the burly human could deposit the weapons. Luke walked past me, saw the mess in the back of the van, and shook his head while muttering something. Still, he crouched and grabbed two crates in each hand.
I couldn’t very well just stand around, so I begrudgingly walked over and picked the cleanest crates I could manage while repelling the numerous dry heaves my body wanted to conjure. I hefted them up, and followed the same path as Luke and Frankie.
I passed Dusty, who groaned, rubbing her left arm. “Why do these idiots use such a small caliber? You’d think they’d want to kill the people they’re shooting at.”
I nervously tilted my antennae. “You would… hope so.”
“They enjoy the thrill of the hunt,” Reno growled. “Use it to just incapacitate their prey. Dead ones don’t squirm while they’re eaten.”
An uncomfortable silence fell over the street. As we continued to load the human armaments into the truck, the two kept a cautious set of eyes out on either side of the street. Frankie managed to fit the big gun back into its respective crate while Luke stared at it, incredulously. Dusty glanced back with a similar look, which gave me the feeling the predators were all thinking the same thing. The only one who didn’t break his focus was Reno.
The van got emptier, the truck got fuller, and soon enough we were ready to leave this place for good. Luke gave us the clear and got into the driver seat. Frankie took the front passenger seat, leaving the three of us to squeeze into the back. The windshield left a lot to be desired, and I wondered if Luke would even be able to see through it.
It was cramped, to say the least. I was forced into the side, with the Yotul in the middle, while Dusty filled in the remaining seat. From someone looking in from outside, it would be a very strange sight to behold.
She slammed the door shut. “Tight fuckin’ fit. Hope we have enough fuel.”
“Won’t be an issue,” Luke said, sending the engine revving as we began to accelerate.
Thank Formi we’re finally leaving. How long have I been awake for? How long have the Arxur been in Tepisil? And how are the exterminators from the human camp doing? There’s far too much to worry about.
I hoped Tealk was fine in the hatchery’s bunker. That is, if it wasn’t already compromised. Tepisil was given the tiny mercy of just a small warning prior to any bombs dropping. The shelters were likely packed to the brim. Just waiting for the Arxur to come.
“Frankie, give me some light, would ya?” Dusty ordered. She had pulled Reno’s hindlegs on her lap, and was now inspecting them with the help of Frankie’s flashlight. I could see the green blood that had leaked down his legs from the wounds, along with pieces of black debris.
Reno had no choice but to let Dusty tend to him. I tried my best to ignore the blood she was forcing out by ripping through the bandages, though I gagged upon seeing her dig into his flesh with a pair of tweezers, pulling out a small bullet while he hissed in pain. Those were the only noises for a time while the human used a strange syringe to push some sort of foam into the wound, then tightly wrapping his legs.
She did a better job than I ever could’ve. At this point, it shouldn’t have impressed me that the predators had a concept of medicine or even treatment for the wounded, rather than just leaving the weak for dead. The amount of care she put into someone from another species spoke volumes to the humans’ empathetic capacity.
The streetlights of the city finally receded from us. I could almost feel the weighty air in the truck lighten, like a part of the despair had been left behind in Dirlsil. It wouldn’t last for long.
At some point in the middle of all the crop fields, Frankie cleared his throat. “Can I be the one to break the silence? ‘Cause Reno shot that gray with a whole bloody anti-materiel rifle.”
“God, I’m glad somebody finally fucking said it. Point blank, too,” Dusty said.
The Yotul didn’t offer a response, only stared off into the distance. I felt nothing but sympathy for him. They meant well, but I suspected they did more harm than good. The humans clearly had no idea what he’d just gone through; the fear, the uncertainty, the possibility of being eaten alive. I had a feeling the only reason he was alive was because of his quick thinking, the Arxur’s cockiness, and luck.
Luke cleared his throat. “Uh, how did you fare, Frankie? I saw the marks on your vest.”
My human grunted. “Barely even felt them hit me. Once the shooting started we dove back into the toy shop. Arxur are damn cocky bastards, but I don’t reckon they’re used to whatever they’re chasing fighting back so hard. Shot one, ran up the stairs, shot the other. Easy as that.”
It was not, in fact, as easy as that. I was terrified the entire time. It was Frankie who did everything, and even then, he screamed and shouted during the entire encounter. He was fearless in the face of fear while I had been useless. Again. My only saving grace was that I didn’t freeze like I did at the PD facility, even if that meant I merely ran instead. I felt a stab of anger mixed with regret, an entirely unwelcome feeling that I decidedly earned.
I can’t rely on the Terrans forever. At some point, my uncontrollable fear is going to cost lives. I… I can’t let fear be the driver.
“We had four of the fuckers on us,” Dusty said. “Retreated into the store opposite yours. We were doing just fine ‘till one of them tossed a grenade.”
I felt Reno tense up to me. He had a thousand-lightyear stare.
“Then they came in after us, separated us from Reno. They were fucking relentless, didn’t give us a chance to fight. Forced us all the way back into the stockroom, then kept pushing their luck. Finally had a corner, then the bastards leapt forward rather than being smart, getting me tagged. Hurts like hell just thinking about flexing the muscle.”
“God, can we change the subject? I regret asking,” Lieutenant Holtas said, shifting uncomfortably. “Frankie, you want to try again with the UN? And Herq, now that you’re with us, can you contact Von and inform him of what happened?”
I almost flinched when he said my name. “Y-Yeah, of course.” I started to pull out my holopad. I hovered over Tealk’s contact before moving to Von’s. I tapped the icon, and it rang for only a second before he picked up.
“Herq?”
I pulled the pad closer, overhearing Frankie start his own call to the UN. “Yes, it’s me. We made it out of Dirlsil with the weapons, and we’re in one piece.”
“Formi is that good to hear. I won't sugarcoat it, things have gotten much worse. You may have heard it from the humans, but cattle shuttles just landed around Bunker Four… which has no one to defend it. Bunker Six had contact and they are at a stalemate, but won't stay that way. I… sincerely hope you brought lots of ammo.”
I swallowed a lump in my throat. “I can’t say for certain what the predators brought with us… We’re driving as fast as we can, we expect to be there in forty minutes.”
“Too long… The grays are already going into buildings, trying to flush them out. We don’t have the firepower.”
“I… We need a rally point in order to distribute them as fast as possible.”
“One advantage is that they aren’t using their numbers prowling the empty buildings on the outskirts… Shit, Polle is calling me… It’s about Bunker Six. Listen, I’ll send you more information when I can. Call me ten minutes before you reach the city.”
“Yes, of course. Please, stay safe.”
“We both know that isn’t going to happen. Hurry.”
A tone signified he hung up the call. I tentatively swirled my antennae, seeing my company look away. “I-I’m guessing everyone heard that?”
Reno flicked his ears, and the humans nodded from the front seats. A steady silence came over us. It was probably well into the early hours of the morning at this point. My body was tired, and my mind more so. I knew well that I should have been more scared or worried, but I simply didn’t have the energy. It was like Frankie said earlier.
“Who wants a granola bar?” Frankie abruptly barked.
Luke shrugged. “I mean…”
The two humans accepted his offer, not like they had much choice since they were already being distributed. A bar was put into Reno’s paws, and suddenly, I was holding one too.
“It… doesn’t have meat, does it?” I asked.
“No, you idiot. I don’t eat meat,” Reno hissed, unwrapping his food.
“Sorry… I just wanted-”
“It’s just a bar of sugary grain. You’d think you would know by now that humans aren’t going to hurt you, or do anything else ‘predatory.’” He said the last word with distaste, like it personally offended him. He was clearly more used to the primates than I was, or ever could be. I knew they wouldn’t mean me any harm, but it was hard to shake off the thoughts that always lingered in my mind when around predators.
I thought his behavior was simply fried nerves from his close call with the Arxur, but there was something more to it, something bitter in his tone that hinted at more than just the last encounter. It reminded me of hearing about his outburst at my sister, Tealk, back at the hatchery. It didn’t sit right with me, but I wasn’t in any position to ask him about it, especially not at that moment.
Dusty was already stuffing the bar into her mouth, not much caring for how revolting I found it. I’d gotten used to their toothy smiles, but seeing her take a bite, just like she would chow down on a piece of bloody meat… If I wasn’t so hungry after so many hours, I would’ve lost my appetite.
Reno bit into the bar, and I carefully unwrapped mine, ignoring the female’s sickening mouth movements. I gave a cautionary sniff before taking a small nibble. It was acceptable, even good considering I hadn’t eaten for so long. I took another bite, then another, and then I noticed Dusty looking at me.
I couldn’t help the way my muscles tensed in agitation. She was instinctively sizing me up, now that food was on her mind. “W-What is it?” I stuttered.
She raised her eyebrows, glancing away. “Nothing. Just the way you move your hands, er… tarsals? Tarsals, across your mandibles when you eat. It’s… nevermind.”
My… tarsals? I flexed a feeler, inspecting it like something was wrong with it. I looked back at the predator, who was now looking out the window. At least she wasn’t… staring at me anymore. Humans got stranger every moment I spent with them. I thought there was a glimmer of hope that they wouldn’t all be as strange as Frankie, but that clearly had yet to be proven.
I took another small bite. Before I knew it, I had eaten the whole thing and had nothing left to occupy the time. There were only dark crop fields outside our truck, and predators or the predator-diseased inside. Nothing to distract me from the knowledge that Sillis was going to fall. Nothing to distract me from the thoughts telling me to give up, to run away, like a coward.
A muted atmosphere of haunting tranquility came over our vehicle, one that everyone silently and willfully acknowledged. We all knew what we were driving towards.
—
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Thanks to u/WCR_706 for proofreading. And, of course, thanks to SpacePaladin15 for the wonderful universe.
2024.05.15 17:29 viridian_moonflower Strongly disagree with client's take on a situation. How to proceed?
Male therapists (and others who work with a lot of men) of therapists: I am seeking your opinion! What would you do if a male client of yours was trying to convince his female partner to get an abortion? Female partner really wants the baby. They did not talk about this ahead of time and had unprotected sex, with predictable results. Female partner is also older and may not have another chance to have a baby. She is a professional and could financially care for the baby on her own, but wants him to be involved. He has said he won't abandon the child but feels like she is in the wrong for setting a boundary asking him to stop trying to convince her to terminate. He does accept responsibility for the decision making around unprotected sex, and does not believe she "trapped" him. Male client is centering his own feelings around not wanting to give up free time etc, and has said he hopes she miscarries. I feel like he is in the wrong and I am struggling to empathize so I may refer out after I consult.
How would you best approach someone in this situation? I feel like he is lacking empathy for his partner and that his position of trying to convince her to change her mind is wrong and borderline abusive. He does not see it that way. I said you have made your case to her about your wishes but this is what is happening. There is also a whole lot more to this story that I am leaving out intentionally due to confidentiality but I hope it is enough to get the picture. Am I reacting from my own bias as a woman in believing that he should step up and take responsibility and also not get in the way of her choice? Is there something I am missing?
submitted by viridian_moonflower to therapists [link] [comments]
How would you best approach someone in this situation? I feel like he is lacking empathy for his partner and that his position of trying to convince her to change her mind is wrong and borderline abusive. He does not see it that way. I said you have made your case to her about your wishes but this is what is happening. There is also a whole lot more to this story that I am leaving out intentionally due to confidentiality but I hope it is enough to get the picture. Am I reacting from my own bias as a woman in believing that he should step up and take responsibility and also not get in the way of her choice? Is there something I am missing?
2024.05.15 17:27 No_Calligrapher_2497 Do they really send this to my follower ?
Hi 2 days ago a supposedly female account came into my dms, we wrote a little bit and then we added each other on Snapchat . Then I sent a picture of me and after all that she asked for a DP . I didn‘t want to send it so I sent a fake video from google . 3 Minutes later she sends me a screenrecording from the video and from my snap name and said if I don’t pay her 300 bucks she will send it to all my follower and ruin my life . She also sends a screenshot of like 150 follower or something from me . Ofc I didn’t transfer the Money and blocked the account on insta and on snap . But now I am a little bit in fear because the people he can send this to won’t know this is fake and think it is real . But I asked 3 of my closest friends and they said they had not get messaged from a account or anything else yet . So I want to asked if anyone of u have experience with that , what should I do now and do they really send it to my follower . And do they make something even it is 2 days ago because today I looked at her follower number ( how many people she is following ) and it increased for about 50 people . Does that mean anything ? Can anyone help me maybe ?
submitted by No_Calligrapher_2497 to Sextortion [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 17:23 nyuqqOFF I (29M) love my insecure GF (25F), but I don't know how to help her. Can this behavior change?
We've been together with my girlfriend for more than a year now and over the past few months it has become apparent that she is a very insecure type. There are reasons behind her low-self-esteem and its development. According to my girlfriend in a previous relationship she wasn't treated with respect, didn't feel important and didn't receive adequate love. She was cheated on at least once which led to her contracting a sexually transmitted disease on one occasion. Additionally comments were made about her physical attributes by her ex bf that she wasn’t feminine enough which ultimately led her to undergo plastic surgery.
I'll try to summarize some of the important events that have stemmed from her jealousy, insecurity, low self-esteem and overall, the thoughts swirling around these incidents.
Events
1.) After being together for half a year one evening we slept at my place and before going to bed we had dinner that I cooked. She noticed a long, light-colored, blondish piece of hair in my bed. When she asked whose it could be I calmly, jokingly said, "I don't know, probably sat on it somewhere." It seemed like her world collapsed and she didn't believe me. I explained to her that I work in a 500-person office, I attend university with thousands of people and I have three sisters - one of whom has the exact hair color she found - so there could be plenty of possibilities. I live in a small studio apartment where I throw washed clothes on the bed and hang them on a drying rack next to it.
2.) Three months later laying on the bed I was scrolling through my phone while she was behind me seemingly watching TV. The next day she questioned me via a voice message about who I was chatting with on Instagram. She saw what seemed like a new conversation, you know the kind where you still see the other person's profile picture in large size. I looked back at my chat history and I had such a chat with a male friend with whom I played music together in a bar. She told me it's a lie and she distinctly remembers that I was chatting with a girl, meaning I can't consider her crazy or hallucinating in this case. If I were to show her that there was no conversation with another girl, it's because I deleted it – she said.
3.) Two months later while I was cooking dinner she suddenly started crying from three meters away in my bed. It turned out she noticed that there were fewer condoms on the shelf than before and she saw it, then concluded that I must be cheating on her. As additional information it's worth noting that when we had been together for three months she started taking birth control pills, so only one condom from the pack had been used. The rest remained on my shelf, but I noticed they would expire sooner or later, so I gave some away for friends.
4.) A few weeks later it was my friend's (Tom) birthday. Four of us guys planned to go out for the night as I was invited to this scenario. On the day of the event Tom was chatting to a yet uninvited friend of his (Jake), who mentioned that they (Jake + his GF) were planning to go to the same venue, so he (Tom) invited them as well last minute to join four of us, who eventually brought his girlfriend as well. I didn't really enjoy the party, I sat in a chair, had a few drinks, then looked at vinyl records online and followed three old acquaintances on Instagram from the suggestions the social media platform gave me. One of them was a girl. At the club, I met a former female colleague, with whom I used to work in a shopping mall during college, so we exchanged a few words at the party, and since we weren't moving together at the party anymore, I said goodbye and wishing all the best to her on Instagram before I went home. She replied the same, to which I didn't respond at all. She got mad for days and the argument here was:
6.) The last incident was a few days ago when I bought delayed ejaculation gel, which she noticed and got veeery angry that I didn't tell her right away. I mentioned to her several times before that it would be nice to have a gel sometime in the future, so she can have orgasm more often in case I’m tired, mentally stressed from work and not in the mood. She also noted that since my friend's birthday I always take my phone with me to the restroom and for bathing. She bet it’s because of my former colleague I met and she finds it suspicious that I'm being secretive. Indeed, often the phone is with me and mostly in my pocket. She also pointed out that she thinks I don't use my phone in front of her as often anymore and this is surely deliberate. To be honest, since she imagined that I might be chatting with someone out of thin air, I wouldn't want to give any further opportunities for such nonsense. In summary, there hasn't been any effort on my part to deliberately use my phone less in her presence.
Extra information
+1.) Since the first and fourth event she started seeing a psychologist twice, but after the second run’s fifth occasion she decided it wouldn't help her and it's just a waste of money. We agreed that she needs to figure it out through reading books and maybe listening to podcasts about anxiety and I’ll do my best to assure that she is the most awesome and prettiest girl for me. After that no effort was made for months about this topic by her, so no books and no podcasts. A week ago we had an argument and she subscribed for an audiobook provider, but that’s it.
+2.) One morning, after we woke up she told me about her dream. She dreamt that I have two girlfriends besides her.
+3.) Her mother is also an extremely insecure woman. She covered her partner's shop window so that no other woman could see inside because she became jealous. She asked my girlfriend to call her partner from an unknown number and threaten him to confess that he cheated on her etc.
My thoughts
Is there a way for such a person to change? I fear that it would intensify later in case we move together or something. Perhaps I need to figure this out for myself, but I'm curious about others opinions as well.
We have a lot in common, but I just have the feeling that it might be a ticking bomb and I waste my time as getting closer to my thirties. I had to watch through how my entrepreneur father's life was destroyed by my mother (never had a job) once she felt existentially stable purely from the wealth my Father generated and took more 70% of it.
submitted by nyuqqOFF to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
I'll try to summarize some of the important events that have stemmed from her jealousy, insecurity, low self-esteem and overall, the thoughts swirling around these incidents.
Events
1.) After being together for half a year one evening we slept at my place and before going to bed we had dinner that I cooked. She noticed a long, light-colored, blondish piece of hair in my bed. When she asked whose it could be I calmly, jokingly said, "I don't know, probably sat on it somewhere." It seemed like her world collapsed and she didn't believe me. I explained to her that I work in a 500-person office, I attend university with thousands of people and I have three sisters - one of whom has the exact hair color she found - so there could be plenty of possibilities. I live in a small studio apartment where I throw washed clothes on the bed and hang them on a drying rack next to it.
2.) Three months later laying on the bed I was scrolling through my phone while she was behind me seemingly watching TV. The next day she questioned me via a voice message about who I was chatting with on Instagram. She saw what seemed like a new conversation, you know the kind where you still see the other person's profile picture in large size. I looked back at my chat history and I had such a chat with a male friend with whom I played music together in a bar. She told me it's a lie and she distinctly remembers that I was chatting with a girl, meaning I can't consider her crazy or hallucinating in this case. If I were to show her that there was no conversation with another girl, it's because I deleted it – she said.
3.) Two months later while I was cooking dinner she suddenly started crying from three meters away in my bed. It turned out she noticed that there were fewer condoms on the shelf than before and she saw it, then concluded that I must be cheating on her. As additional information it's worth noting that when we had been together for three months she started taking birth control pills, so only one condom from the pack had been used. The rest remained on my shelf, but I noticed they would expire sooner or later, so I gave some away for friends.
4.) A few weeks later it was my friend's (Tom) birthday. Four of us guys planned to go out for the night as I was invited to this scenario. On the day of the event Tom was chatting to a yet uninvited friend of his (Jake), who mentioned that they (Jake + his GF) were planning to go to the same venue, so he (Tom) invited them as well last minute to join four of us, who eventually brought his girlfriend as well. I didn't really enjoy the party, I sat in a chair, had a few drinks, then looked at vinyl records online and followed three old acquaintances on Instagram from the suggestions the social media platform gave me. One of them was a girl. At the club, I met a former female colleague, with whom I used to work in a shopping mall during college, so we exchanged a few words at the party, and since we weren't moving together at the party anymore, I said goodbye and wishing all the best to her on Instagram before I went home. She replied the same, to which I didn't respond at all. She got mad for days and the argument here was:
- why could that friend's girlfriend come, while she (gf) wasn’t invited.
- one morning she saw the conversation in the previous messages with my former colleague in the bottom of the chat history, whom I bumped into and exchanged a few words with at the party.
- it turned out she has an application that monitors my Instagram profile and saw that I followed that girl acquaintance. I agree that it was stupid and drinking alcohol is not an excuse.
6.) The last incident was a few days ago when I bought delayed ejaculation gel, which she noticed and got veeery angry that I didn't tell her right away. I mentioned to her several times before that it would be nice to have a gel sometime in the future, so she can have orgasm more often in case I’m tired, mentally stressed from work and not in the mood. She also noted that since my friend's birthday I always take my phone with me to the restroom and for bathing. She bet it’s because of my former colleague I met and she finds it suspicious that I'm being secretive. Indeed, often the phone is with me and mostly in my pocket. She also pointed out that she thinks I don't use my phone in front of her as often anymore and this is surely deliberate. To be honest, since she imagined that I might be chatting with someone out of thin air, I wouldn't want to give any further opportunities for such nonsense. In summary, there hasn't been any effort on my part to deliberately use my phone less in her presence.
Extra information
+1.) Since the first and fourth event she started seeing a psychologist twice, but after the second run’s fifth occasion she decided it wouldn't help her and it's just a waste of money. We agreed that she needs to figure it out through reading books and maybe listening to podcasts about anxiety and I’ll do my best to assure that she is the most awesome and prettiest girl for me. After that no effort was made for months about this topic by her, so no books and no podcasts. A week ago we had an argument and she subscribed for an audiobook provider, but that’s it.
+2.) One morning, after we woke up she told me about her dream. She dreamt that I have two girlfriends besides her.
+3.) Her mother is also an extremely insecure woman. She covered her partner's shop window so that no other woman could see inside because she became jealous. She asked my girlfriend to call her partner from an unknown number and threaten him to confess that he cheated on her etc.
My thoughts
Is there a way for such a person to change? I fear that it would intensify later in case we move together or something. Perhaps I need to figure this out for myself, but I'm curious about others opinions as well.
We have a lot in common, but I just have the feeling that it might be a ticking bomb and I waste my time as getting closer to my thirties. I had to watch through how my entrepreneur father's life was destroyed by my mother (never had a job) once she felt existentially stable purely from the wealth my Father generated and took more 70% of it.
2024.05.15 16:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
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2024.05.15 16:46 partypottedplants Boyfriend and I both have OCD, and he slipped up
To preface this story; my boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months, and he is utterly wonderful to me. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted and despite me struggling with trust and not believing I’m wanted, he’s shown me consistently since the day we met that he only has eyes for me. He has struggled with severe OCD all his life while I have severe ADHD and have recently also been diagnosed with OCD (specifically ROCD).
He is a very conventionally attractive man and gets a lot of female attention, which has always felt difficult but he turns it down without blinking an eye every time. I also get a fair amount of attention which I instantly shut down, but my boyfriend deeply struggles with RJ. I have a promiscuous past (despite actually a low body count) and he has found the idea that i’m not untouched extremely difficult. He also will admit his area of weakness is communicating his fears and worries, which culminated in one of his biggest OCD episodes ever.
In February he travelled to a different country for a week which was our first time being long distance even for a short period of time. He went to work at a gym event and was posting lots of content of himself in that environment, and received a number of suggestive messages in response from random girls. We hadn’t been able to talk much that week, he was severely jet lagged, and had had a large fight with a family member that day. The OCD thoughts that had been plaguing him for around a month beforehand came on very strongly, and he was suddenly convinced that I didn’t love him and was cheating on him (due to a few things he had misinterpreted but not spoken up about). In the peak of this, a girl sent him explicit pictures, and in a fit of rage he sent one back. He immediately blocked her before she even opened it and called me crying, which is very rare. He told me he had had this moment of clarity after where he realised how much he fucked up and had given into his OCD and that he never wanted anyone else and never wanted to hurt me.
I struggled with this information at first because trust is a very difficult thing for me, but I stayed calm and tried my hardest to think rationally. Logically, I really do get what went on for him that led to this, and I trust that he didn’t do it out of lust or any desire to cheat on me. It’s been eating him up inside ever since because a big part of his OCD is thinking he’s an awful person and having a massive conscience and he hates to see me hurt. The problem is, my OCD causes me to completely obsess over things like this and I can’t get it out of my head. I find myself secretly questioning everything even though I logically understand the reasons. I want to move past it so badly and it’s causing him so much anguish to see me hurt by his actions, even though I assure him I’m actually just being hurt by my OCD. I also know with almost 100% certainty he will never do anything like that again. Any mistakes he ever makes he only makes once, because he takes learning from them extremely seriously.
I suppose my question is, how can I get my feelings on board with what I know is logically true? I don’t want to create distance between us, and I certainly am not considering breaking up. I just don’t want to allow my thoughts to tarnish him.
submitted by partypottedplants to RetroactivejealousOCD [link] [comments]
He is a very conventionally attractive man and gets a lot of female attention, which has always felt difficult but he turns it down without blinking an eye every time. I also get a fair amount of attention which I instantly shut down, but my boyfriend deeply struggles with RJ. I have a promiscuous past (despite actually a low body count) and he has found the idea that i’m not untouched extremely difficult. He also will admit his area of weakness is communicating his fears and worries, which culminated in one of his biggest OCD episodes ever.
In February he travelled to a different country for a week which was our first time being long distance even for a short period of time. He went to work at a gym event and was posting lots of content of himself in that environment, and received a number of suggestive messages in response from random girls. We hadn’t been able to talk much that week, he was severely jet lagged, and had had a large fight with a family member that day. The OCD thoughts that had been plaguing him for around a month beforehand came on very strongly, and he was suddenly convinced that I didn’t love him and was cheating on him (due to a few things he had misinterpreted but not spoken up about). In the peak of this, a girl sent him explicit pictures, and in a fit of rage he sent one back. He immediately blocked her before she even opened it and called me crying, which is very rare. He told me he had had this moment of clarity after where he realised how much he fucked up and had given into his OCD and that he never wanted anyone else and never wanted to hurt me.
I struggled with this information at first because trust is a very difficult thing for me, but I stayed calm and tried my hardest to think rationally. Logically, I really do get what went on for him that led to this, and I trust that he didn’t do it out of lust or any desire to cheat on me. It’s been eating him up inside ever since because a big part of his OCD is thinking he’s an awful person and having a massive conscience and he hates to see me hurt. The problem is, my OCD causes me to completely obsess over things like this and I can’t get it out of my head. I find myself secretly questioning everything even though I logically understand the reasons. I want to move past it so badly and it’s causing him so much anguish to see me hurt by his actions, even though I assure him I’m actually just being hurt by my OCD. I also know with almost 100% certainty he will never do anything like that again. Any mistakes he ever makes he only makes once, because he takes learning from them extremely seriously.
I suppose my question is, how can I get my feelings on board with what I know is logically true? I don’t want to create distance between us, and I certainly am not considering breaking up. I just don’t want to allow my thoughts to tarnish him.
2024.05.15 16:44 shaneka69 LIBRA ZODIAC PREDICTIONS MAY 2024
LIBRA ZODIAC PREDICTIONS MAY 2024
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