Nobody warned me about the preamble to HRT.
None of my trans friends had to go through what I'm going through right now. The crawling preamble of having life saving medicine at an arms reach, but your body stopping at the thought of the pill going down your throat. The few trans friends I have are either already far into their treatment or haven't started for various reasons. I'm the only person I know who has everything she needs, but can't.
I can't because I'm waiting on some test results to rule out some diseases before hand. I can't because I'm afraid of the consequences. I'm afraid I won't like the results, or that I'm not in the right state of mind. I'm afraid that the side effects will counteract the positives. That it will fail.
But it's what I've always wanted. This is what I need, and me and my family and my friends and my loved ones know it's going to change my life but having it so close to me but not being able to do it yet is tantalizing.
Tantalus swimming in her own despair.

Its kinda a stupid question, but my sexual desire decreased. However I still enjoy it, and I'm kinda accepting it right now how it is.
Please calm me down, these side effects cant get worse after 6 weeks on this dose, right? Its just I wanna accept it, but I have this doubt that what if it get worse.

So i've trying to AP for like 5 days now, i didn't think this would come so fast, i've been frequently lucid dreaming for some time now, not induced its just really natural for me i think i've been lucid dreaming for like my entire life but not everyday, i get like 1-2 lucid dreams per 2 weeks naturally so this is maybe why it happened so fast. So basically i was doing the thing and my body started tingling and i knew i was close, i didn't move, stayed calm and the tingling started wearing off. Right after it was about to end my mom just walked in on my room screaming for me to put my alarm or else i would get late to school, i got pissed by it and i was trying to tell her i did but nothing came out of my mouth, i thought that was weird but i just thought it was a side effect of the state i just came out of and moved on with waking up as my time was getting close because i wake up 1h later than my mom, after that i went to the bathroom as usual and came back to my room, when i came back i saw my body laying still on my bed. I freaked out and instantly woke up, im completely freaked out by what happened but im more confused on why my mom did that since its not the usual, was it really my mom or what happened there? Can someone clarify stuff for me please? Thanks.

Navigating the vast ocean of academic writing services can be daunting for students. Today, I'm providing an overview of four popular services: SpeedyPaper.com, EssayMarket.net, WritePaperFor.Me, and PaperCoach.co. Let’s delve into their pros and cons to see which might suit your needs the best.
1. SpeedyPaper.com
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• Free Revisions: They offer free revisions, which is a huge plus if you need tweaks to your paper.

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Pros:

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3. WritePaperFor.Me
Pros:

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• Quality for Price: Despite the low cost, the quality of the work is generally good, offering great value for money.
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Cons:

• Inconsistencies: Some users have noted inconsistencies in writing quality, which may require taking advantage of their revision options.
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• Professional Writers: They claim to hire only professional writers, which is reflected in the quality of their work.
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In conclusion, each of these services has its strengths and weaknesses. SpeedyPaper is ideal for those in a rush, EssayMarket offers great customization, WritePaperFor.Me is budget-friendly, and PaperCoach can handle a wide range of assignments. Choosing the right service depends on your specific needs, budget, and the complexity of your assignment. Always ensure to read up-to-date reviews and possibly test with smaller assignments before committing to larger projects.

Explore effective strategies for managing freckles treatment at Twacha Aesthetic Clinic in Nagpur. Enhance your skin health and reduce the visibility of freckles with expert guidance.

Freckles Treatment: Understanding and Managing Skin Pigmentation

Freckles are a common skin concern that can affect individuals of all ages and skin types. These small, flat, tan, or light brown spots often appear on areas of the skin exposed to the sun, such as the face, arms, and shoulders.
While freckles are generally harmless and do not require medical treatment, they can be a source of cosmetic concern for some individuals. Understanding the causes of freckles and how to manage them can help you feel more confident in your skin.

What Causes Freckles?

The primary cause of freckles is the overproduction of melanin, the pigment responsible for the color of your skin, hair, and eyes. Melanin is produced by melanocytes, which are cells found in the epidermis, the outer layer of the skin.
Exposure to sunlight triggers the production of melanin as a protective response to UV radiation. This excess melanin can clump together, forming freckles on the skin’s surface.

Types of Freckles

There are two main types of freckles:

Ephelides: These are common freckles that are usually light brown or tan. They tend to fade in winter when sun exposure is reduced. Ephelides are more common in individuals with fair skin and hair.
Lentigines: Also known as solar lentigines or liver spots, these freckles are larger, darker, and more defined than ephelides. Lentigines are often associated with aging and long-term sun exposure and are more common in individuals with darker skin tones.

Managing Freckles

While freckles themselves are harmless, they can be a cosmetic concern for some individuals. Here are some tips to help manage and reduce the appearance of freckles:
Sun Protection: Since sun exposure is a major factor in the development of freckles, protecting your skin from the sun is crucial. Use a broad-spectrum sunscreen with an SPF of at least 30, wear protective clothing, and seek shade during peak sun hours to reduce your risk of developing freckles.
Topical Treatments: Certain topical treatments, such as hydroquinone, retinoids, and kojic acid, may help lighten freckles over time. These treatments work by inhibiting the production of melanin in the skin, leading to a reduction in the appearance of freckles. However, these treatments should be used under the guidance of a dermatologist to avoid skin irritation.
Chemical Peels: Chemical peels can help lighten freckles by removing the top layer of skin, revealing fresh, new skin underneath. This can result in smoother, more even-toned skin, but multiple treatments may be needed for optimal results. It’s essential to consult with a dermatologist before undergoing a chemical peel to determine if it’s the right treatment for you.
Laser Therapy: Laser therapy can target and break down the melanin in freckles, leading to a reduction in their appearance. This treatment is effective but may require multiple sessions and should be performed by a qualified dermatologist to minimize the risk of side effects.

Seamstress
'We bring these boons as a peace offering, on behalf of our warlord: Alish Groza.' - Light bearing hive knight, to the drifter.
Perks: Corkscrew barrel + High caliber rounds + Ripcord Explosive + Heavy Grip + catalyst: vorpal weapon
Unique: Ripcord explosive: Enemies suffering from attachment will explode for 100% bullet damage with an AOE of 3m, if they move beyond 8m from the initial target, if they are already beyond 8m the explosion is only applied to the initial target.
In game description: Ripcord Explosive: Bound enemies can only move a short distance from the previously pierced enemy, or else they suffer a small explosion, from the strand matter embedded within them.
Intrinsic: Through, and through: Rounds pierce enemy combatants, up to 4 times, dealing 100/75/50/25% to each respective enemy hit. Enemies hit by a round that has pierced an enemy become bound¹ to the initial target by a strand thread. Piercing rounds are hitscan, and do not have a limited range; they are still effected by the weapons damage falloff, as if fired from the previously pierced targets position.

1. Bound is the name of the weapons effect, this links them to the previous target for 5 seconds.

In game description: Through, and through: Fires caseless taken ammunition that carries strand needles. The rounds have a secondary charge that activates upon entry, allowing for the refined strand needles to pierce multiple targets. Each target beyond the initial target becomes bound to the target before them.
Stats (Base + Catalyst): Strand Impact: 75 Range: 65 Handling: 20 + 5 Reload speed: 50 RPM: 180 + 10 Mag: 12 + 3 Zoom: 14 Recoil direction: 96
Lore:
Given to the drifter by a clan of hive as trade for peace, and assistance via allowing them to partake in gambit, in order to feed there hive warlord: Alish Groza, the seamstress is a powerful hand cannon. Alish Groza appears to be attempting to take a place amongst the hive pantheon on the side of Eris, and the traveler. Naming her hive the repentant. This weapon was created by a Hive light bearer who was allowed to partake in the gambit, this particular one being a recreation hand crafted by Groza herself, for the drifter as a favor to one of his gaurdian friends.
Alish Groza readily admits that partaking in the gambit is in order to gain tithes, however, even she knows that it cant last forever if she wishes her clan, and power to expand.
It appears to be a hive magic imbued, or altered malfeasance though little is left recognizable.
Side notes: may need some tuning, but I think this would make an awesome strand exotic hand cannon. Im kinda iffy on lore as Im a returning player, plus it wasnt really the intent of making this concept, rather it was to make a cool strand hand cannon.

Hi!!!
We live in New Hampshire (USA)
So im wondering what our landlord could or may do to us if we put the air conditioner we bought into our window ourselves after last Thursday we called to ask her if it was okay to put it in our back window and she said she doesnt care if we have one but she only wants her son who is the "maintenance person" (and BARELY even comes around and when he does he is LAZY anyways and never wants to do anything) to be the one to put it in!!! We agreed on it because he was due to be there that afternoon anyways to mow the lawn and so she said he would put it in for us then. But he didn't!!!!! When he got here and we went outside to greet him and talk to him about it 1. She NEVER told him she had told us he would do it so he rolled his eyes and then 2. he was RUDE made comments like "well you can make due until the end of next month when I get back right? I mean what are you cold blooded? It's not even hot out yet" it was 63' that day but every day for a week before that day it was in the 70s and now since last Thursday when he was here it has been in the high 70s and low to mid 80s & the forecast is staying steady with these temperatures going forward!!!
Side note: We don't have screens in our windows and we have an 8week old kitten so to lift the storm windows that go straight outside to get cooler air with a fan or something isn't even an option!!! And en he refused to put our air conditioner in We then asked him to switch the storm windows to the screens instead for now and he said "he'd have to get to it next time"
It is UNBEARABLE in our apartment & As I mentioned we have a brand new kitten who is suffering from this heat as well!!! Our indoor thermometer says it is 91' inside and that is as I'm writing this at 4 AM !!!!
What can she do to us if we just say the hell with this and put it in ourselves??? We aren't idiots we have Installed a TON of acs in our lives!!! She just treats us like we are incompetent which is SO frustrating to be honest!!! & I guess I'm also just wondering since we have been here long enough we are now on a month to month lease - can she evict us?! Or anything like that???
She keeps falling back on the fact we bought an indoor AC unit last year and not only was it not effective for the way our apartment is designed (as in the location of the rooms and whatnot) but it also made our electric bill jump to $280+ a month which is Outrageous since we usually only pay between 60 or 70 a month for electric so that's a ridiculously expensive addition to our expenses of which she isn't paying WE ARE so.... yeaaa but anyways ....
Please help! Because I'm ready to say screw it and my boyfriend is all worried about what she will do if we do just put it in!!!
Thank you!!!

I (21f) have plagiocephaly, which causes half of my face to be flat and makes my cranium crooked. I've always noticed it but only discovered its name last year. Since starting my job two years ago, l've constantly worn masks to conceal my face due to embarrassment and fear of being judged. Despite spending thousands on fillers to hide the deficient side, they haven't been very effective. Therapy, medicine, even ketamine treatments haven't alleviated my distress, and I find myself breaking down daily and resorting to self-harm. The only solution to address this problem is through surgery.

I (21f) have plagiocephaly, which causes half of my face to be flat and makes my cranium crooked. I've always noticed it but only discovered its name last year. Since starting my job two years ago, I've constantly worn masks to conceal my face due to embarrassment and fear of being judged. Despite spending thousands on fillers to hide the deficient side, they haven't been very effective. Therapy, medicine, even ketamine treatments haven’t alleviated my distress, and I find myself breaking down daily and resorting to self-harm. The only solution to address this problem is through surgery.

As my title suggests I'm looking for someone that is also into playing video games (PC) but also someone that is looking for something on the serious side. Some of my other interests are cooking, photography, music, hiking, anime, cosplay, and movies. I'm 6'2, Black, and chubby. The best way to describe me would be escaped zoo gorilla that likes helping people and doing goofy shit. I'm mostly introverted but I can be pretty outgoing as well. I'm a big horror movie fan so you'll catch me always watching one no matter how bad it is 😂(I also like bad movies).
I'm one of those people where if I'm giving you shit it just means I like you. My sense of humor is dark as coffee so just a heads up, I'm also a very straight forward person and don't sugarcoat things. I'm looking for someone that is kind, open minded, weird, and honest. I don't care about money/looks/location just have a good personality and be yourself 🤷‍♂️. I am a regular weed smoker and I also have no desire to have children. I know those things are dealbreakers for some so there you go lol

Hi first I (23F) wanna clarify that I have no issue with marijuana, either using it for medicinal or just for fun. However specifically when my (24M) boyfriend uses it I get a bit uncomfortable.
We started dating about 3 years ago. In the beginning he told me he used to smoke back in high school for a little but stopped when he graduated. About a year into our relationship he started back up again because an old school friend of his uses it. I was fine with him smoking it, he seemed happy and hey life is stressful. He even allowed me to do a little too, I liked the sensation but wasn’t the biggest fan of the smoke feeling in my lungs.
Anyways over the next couple of months I started noticing a few things about him that started to change. One thing I noticed was that he would get really hyper focused on things like video games or spending time with his friends. I talked with him several times about how I wished he could balance his time with his friends and with me. I guess I kinda felt like I wasn’t on the same level of priority to him. He said he has always struggled with balancing people but when he smokes I feel it is amplified. He always apologized and say he would try his best but would always fall back to the same habits.
This leads to another thing I sort of noticed but he seemed to forget things easily. I can’t exactly pinpoint what he would forget as it was a few years ago. I just remembered that it would be stuff like when I would talk about my day or he wouldn’t take care of his basic needs. He also spaced out a lot, when I would talk to him I’d either ask if he was listening or he would ask me to repeat what I said.
Lastly I feel his emotional output was disrupted. He seemed like he was not there 100% of the time emotionally. He even talked with a monotone voice and I would always ask what’s wrong, but he would say he was good. His reactions were different, his facial expressions were blank, he felt like a shell of the man I fell in love with.
A few months go by and he quits doing marijuana because he greened out, which I know from experience is very scary. In just a few weeks he was back to being “normal” and hasn’t touched weed until just recently.
I am worried that he will go back to being like that. I am scared that I won’t be able to handle it this time. We both have had several talks about it but I don’t feel too good I guess. He used to get high all the time, never coming down from it which led him to having a high tolerance. He told me that this time he will cut back and not use it like he used to.
I love my boyfriend, he makes me so happy and I don’t want to end things just because of this. I feel guilty for even thinking about possibly ending things between us if things don’t pan out well. I feel selfish that I struggle with something he enjoys. Throughout our relationship I have struggled with having an anxious attachment style, but even he says that I have gotten much better. Maybe this time I will be able to handle this situation better? I know that when using cannabis it can cause those symptoms that I have stated up above. I can’t really change or do anything that can change his habits only he can. I fell in love with the non-weed side of my boyfriend I guess..am I wrong to struggle with loving all of him? I know love is learning, and I wanna learn to love him fully.
I want to say I am not trying to demonize marijuana. I know it affects each and everyone of us differently. Please I kindly ask you in the comments to not talk about your stance on the drug. Whether you think it should be only for recreational purposes or whatever I did not write this post to hear that. I know this subject is kinda political but I wish for only advice and to know if I am the asshole for struggling with my boyfriends usage of marijuana. Thank you for your time, sorry for the long post.

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Stray Cat Wound
I've been feeding a neighborhood stray off and on for about 6 months. He's very friendly, so I even let him stay in the utility room quite a few times this past winter. (He's in the utility room because he's scared of my 2 dogs). He's a Tom that prefers to be outside where the action is, especially at night. On Saturday he came looking for food as I was getting in the car to leave for most of the day. I hurried back into the house and got him some food, then noticed that he had a huge lump on his cheek. I gave it a squeeze and puss came oozing out. I cleaned it some but had to be somewhere. When I got home at about 2 am I called for him but he didn't show up until Sunday night. I made him come inside and I cleaned the crusted sore, applied an warm rag and got more of the infection out. I was able to trim some of the hair around the wound but he wasn't real cooperative, by then he started meowing to go out. I decided I wasn't going to let him out until the wound was a little better. Yesterday it still looked bad so I went and bought some iodine. I cleaned it and flushed out the hole with a syringe. I was able to trim some more hair around the sore. Today it seemed a little better but he's freaking out! He wants outside! I was able to wrap him in a towel and use some trimmers to shave some of the hair away then clean it some more. He's been very vocal, wanting out. I returned from the store just as he had pushed the screen out of a partially open window and escaped (I had 2 child gates stacked to block entry to the room). I caught him, brought him back inside and reminded him of where the litter box that I set up last winter. He used it to pee, then took a huge shit in the corner on the carpet. I was ready to go ahead and let him out. I then noticed that he had removed the little bit of skin that was covering the sore and it was now a huge, oozing hole in his cheek. I've cleaned it with diluted iodine a few times today but it still looks bad. I tried covering it with gauze and tape but he quickly removed it. He has need meowing for hours, putting his nose to the crack at the bottom of the door, and he's checked a few windows. He wants out pretty bad. I even called the vet, but they want more money than I have. He's not my cat, but I have grown found of him. I'd hate to see him injured more than he is. But honestly, if he continues to shit on my floor, I'd prefer him to be outside as well. What I'm wondering is if anyone knows of a way that I could cover his wound so it won't come off when I let him back outside, or if it will some how heal on it's own? He'll likely be back for food in 1-2 days and I can check it then. I'm imagining this gaping hole, larger than a quarter, full of dirt and weeds when he returns, but maybe he'll try to keep it protected some how. Sorry this is so long, but I've always been more of a dog person, so caring for cats is new to me. Any advice would be appreciated! Thanks!

Not exactly sure how this works but here I go. I’m currently in college and am typically on my campus pretty late at night for classes and work. It’s located near a pretty decent sized shopping area with busier roads, but we do have some areas that are densely wooded and secluded.
A few months ago, I was driving a friend back to their home after a late night (around 3AM), and when we were turning down a road that would lead us off campus, which has only one light post at the very end to signal to turners on the main road, we both saw an animal.
At first, I genuinely thought it was a dog. I have a lot of pets at home, dogs included, and have always loved helping strays, so I was fully preparing myself to go out and help this dog, that looked really malnourished and injured. I crept the car closer and stopped around fifteen feet away and we both just watched it in silence.
This thing, which I thought was a dog, I no longer thought was a dog. We have coyotes in the area and I’ve seen a ton of them and it didn’t look like this either. It was the height of a medium sized animal, very very curved spine and scrawny. It had rounded ears that looked like half circles, and this would all be fine if it wasn’t for how it walked. It had this weird gallop where it moved both its front legs at the same time, and then it moved both its back legs, so its stride was awkward and unnatural. We watched it cross to the other side of the road and that’s when I decided to pull the car up directly next to it.
What was the most unnerving part of all of this was that it had stopped as we were inching towards it, and instead of running away into the woods, its neck snapped back and it stared at us. It had these small, round eyes that were very green, but in a foggy sort of way. It didn’t move, just watched us. I genuinely felt chills and I booked it. I blew the stop sign at the end of the road and told my friend “I don’t think that was a dog,” and they agreed. We didn’t speak about it after, but the next day we both told our mutual friend (at different times when neither of us were together) about what we saw, and she told us our stories matched perfectly, so I feel like I’m not completely mad?
I am just wondering if anyone has any ideas to what this is? Is it really just a wild animal, and if so, what could it be? Has anyone had an encounter with a weird not-dog dog before that gallops like this?? We have been obsessing over this for months now.

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CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
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So after 5 years of fighting to figure out what was going on with me and being told a mixture of: anxiety, depression, migraines and/or allergies. I finally got a doctor to listen to me (an optamologist of all things) and her finding my optic nerves being swollen and that I possibly have this disease caused me to fight for an MRI/MRV. That showed I had:

1. A partially empty sella
2. A 13 cm cyst on my pituary gland
3. Mild narrowing along the lateral aspect of bilateral transverse venous sinuses

All of that combined with my symptoms had me finding a new doctor to go to because my neurologist saw all of that and still said "it's just depression" so I did research and asked my pcp to refer me to a neuro-optamologist. He said everything sounds like IIH and scheduled me a LP. That came out at 35, got my official dx and diamox ordered.
I've been scared to start diamox from all the horror stories but, I've kept doing research and feel a bit better about starting it knowing that upping my wateelectrolytes and potassium can help tremendously with side effects. However, I was hoping for a few things to be answered by you lovely people.

1. I'd absolutely LOVE to hear positive stories. I desperately need it for both people getting their lives back having IIH and people on diamox. I've felt like I haven't lived in years due to so many different illnesses (pcos, anxiety, depression, adhd, chronic pain, migraines and now IIH.) I felt like I could still live my life until about 5 years ago when I started getting insane head pressure but, anytime I went to the ER or a doctor - they were like "oh that must be a headache or migraine". No one would listen when I said "no, it doesn't hurt..I can have a migraine with it but this is different, I feel like my head is full and needs drained". Anyways, since that started 5 years ago my head pressure episodes have gotten worse and I'm usually bed ridden that entire time cause I just cannot function. I miss living my life and I just want hope.
2. I know I need to bring this back up with my doctor but, when they went over my MRI/V notes no one mentioned the "Mild narrowing along the lateral aspect of bilateral transverse venous sinuses". Is this what people get stents for? Is that stenosis? Should I be asking them to look more into that?
3. I had my LP done on Fri (the 10th) and I've been naesous almost constantly since. Is that a normal thing? I've had a headache and migraine as well, migraine was on day 3 and then day 4/yesterday was a mild headache. From my understanding a spinal headache from an LP is undeniable and you'll know it's from that, correct? This has felt like a typical migraine/headache. Nothing I'm not used to and it doesn't seem to make a difference if I'm standing/sitting/laying. I will also note after 10+ years of migraines and very little helping them, Emgality has been the thing that has made my almost daily migraines go down to 1 or 2 a month and I'm 3 days out from my next injection which typically is when my head gets irritated so I think that's why my head is irritated and that it's not LP related but, I just wanted to make sure.
4. Last question (for now lol), I've seen people recommend getting blood work frequently once on diamox. How do you go about this? My neuro-opt never called me once we got results - he just saw my OP was at 35 and sent in the medicine and I'm hoping to talk to him tomorrow to go over it a bit more but, do I need to advocate for regular blood work? If so, how often? What should I ask them to keep an eye on? I've seen too many people say their doctors didn't tell them about needing to drink more, get more potassium or electrolytes etc. so I want to make sure I'm prepared to fight for myself to try negating any possible side effects from taking diamox before I start.

Also whoever wrote the IIH packet on here - you're a Godsend. Thank you! Having all those notes is super helpful. 🫶

After my long-awaited surgery, the day finally came. I was so nervous lying in the hospital bed as I had never had anesthesia before. Thankfully, I was a bit relieved since my boyfriend and mother were there by my side, comforting me. I also had a very lovely nurse who put on a heating machine for me and made sure I was at ease. When the anesthesiologist came into my room and talked to me about the process, I started to tear up, but not noticeably because I didn’t want to be dramatic. However, I was just very anxious, and it was most likely written all over my face. Anyways, the nurses who were going to be in the OR room came and gave me the anesthesia. However, I did NOT know they were giving it to me and thought they were giving me something else that comes before the anesthesia for some reason. So, I just remembered saying bye to my boyfriend and mom while they held my hand and the nurses rolled me out of the room, and boom, I was out like a light. When I woke up after the surgery, I was so confused; I was dumbfounded. It felt like I teleported through time because I did not remember knocking out, and while you’re knocked out, it’s not like you’re sleeping; it’s like you’re dead. So, I started saying to my mom when I saw her, “they didn’t tell me they were going to put me to sleep,” and then I started hysterically crying because I was so confused. My mom got someone and asked why I was crying; they brought the anesthesiologist in, and he explained that this can happen and it’s most common in women. It’s a normal reaction. While he was explaining all this, I was still crying, saying “I don't know why I’m crying.” I eventually calmed down, but I was still pretty loopy, so I started talking to my nurse about Grey's Anatomy and if I could’ve brought my dog… Honestly, the first day of pain wasn’t so bad, but the days after that, you have to take it real easy, take your medicine, get a heating pad, and lay down. They also gave me these circulating leg machines that compress your legs for circulation, which was really nice. Anyways, that was my experience in the hospital. Please let me know if you can relate to the anesthesia process!

 I, (22F), have been dating my boyfriend, (20M), for about nine months now. Our relationship is pretty good overall. We hardly get into arguments, and when we do we resolve them pretty quickly. My boyfriend’s friend (21F) has been giving me very weird vibes since I started dating him. They’ve known each other since grade school, and she has a boyfriend that she’s been dating for about the same amount of time I’ve been dating my boyfriend, however, I always feel like she’s trying to one up me in my relationship. For example, one time we were all on a discord voice call, and my boyfriend ran out of cigarettes. They live pretty close by (like walking distance from each other) and I live about 25 minutes away, plus she has a car (my boyfriend doesn’t have a car). My boyfriend had just recently talked to me about quitting smoking, so in call I basically told him to try to exist without cigarettes. However, she insisted on going to the gas station and getting him cigarettes. This kinda pissed me off because 1.) she was enabling him, and 2.) it felt like she was brown-nosing a bit. When she dropped off his cigarettes she also brought him beer (he’s also trying to drink less alcohol) so once again just enabling him. She also likes to bring up a lot of inappropriate things from their past. Again for example, before my boyfriend and I met apparently they went to an event together and shared an hotel room. She randomly brought this up one day, and sent videos in our shared group chat of them in their room. They were relatively innocent in nature, however the way she filmed him felt more crush-y than platonic. Now I’m not one of those weirdos who think men and women can’t just be friends. I’ve had male friends who I had strictly platonic feelings for. However, those videos felt like the kind of videos you take of your crush to send to your girlfriends later. She also has apparently seen his balls before, which is…? Like I get that they’ve known each other for a long time, so her seeing his balls in a non-sexual context isn’t far fetched. However, why tell me? Like why do I have to know that you’ve seen my boyfriend’s balls. She has also asked about details of our sex life and whether or not my boyfriend whimpers. I will say that I did indulge her when she asked, half because I wanted to lay claim, and half because I wanted to see how she’d react. Also going back to our group chat, originally when my boyfriend invited me she kicked me out because she “wasn’t comfortable with someone she doesn’t know in there”. I also went through the old messages to see how everybody else reacted to my boyfriend inviting me, and nobody else cared but she said “I don’t think it’s a good idea to mix relationships and friends but whatever” very passive aggressively. Eventually I was re-invited, but after I had been kicked out the first time specifically because of her I’ve been side-eying her ever since. Even yesterday while we were all in voice call she turned on her camera. After awhile of literally nobody noticing that her camera was on (except for me because I tab’d out of my game to type something) she pulled out her vape and tried to get my boyfriend’s attention. She was literally like “Hey (bfn) look at this vape I just got, you want it?”. Once again I got the ick because it felt brown-nosey. Luckily my boyfriend was too invested in his game to respond so I spoke up and said “He doesn’t vape anymore, he mostly smokes cigarettes.” So again it just felt like….girl. There’s lot of other little things she did/does that I don’t feel like typing out in depth. Like when she dropped off some weed for him and was talking to him in a low sultry voice and starring deep in his eye right in front of me (it was weird, but I quite literally was tweaking so I didn’t say anything). Also the time that one of their nonblack friends said the nword and I wasn’t okay with it (I’m black). So me, boyfriend, and a few other friends decided to distance ourselves from them and she tried to gaslight me into believing it wasn’t bad enough to stop talking to them… Like I said earlier she has a boyfriend that she’s apparently super in love with, but she seems to always direct her attention towards my boyfriend, and I want to know if I have a right to feel a type of way about it. I know that I could just be over thinking it, especially given that I have BPD, but my intuition is usually correct on things. How should I even go about this? 

TLDR; My boyfriend’s friend seems like she likes him despite having a boyfriend herself. Am I overthinking things?