So this is my story , I honestly need advice and for someone to understand me. Here goes nothing ! Back in 2013 I was in a relationship with a guy (Jake ) & he had a child’s mother ( Layla ) . At first I was cordial with Layla because Jake lived with me. However Jake turned out to be a HUGE whore. Well more of a bum . So a bummy whore. Layla wanted her family with him which I understood however he was my boyfriend. She would use the baby to get him to be with her while I was at work. Layla would purposefully post like they were in a relationship knowing that he lived with me . I would attempt to break up with him , he would just beg and tell me lies. I was 20 and stupid. I stayed until one day I was fed up of the back and forth and explained to Jake I was done with the back and forth between Layla & I. At that moment he put a play in action to get me pregnant. He succeeded. I was completely mortified at the fact I was now stuck with this situation. When I posted my pregnancy my car window was busted out . This is where the stalking started. I noticed every hair style I wore she would copy & the outfits , my poses for pictures. Even vacations I took with my kids . I found messages between Layla & Jake . She asked him “what is it about Sophie? That you won’t leave her alone.” My mind was blown that’s not normal for me . After I left Jake for good it didn’t matter . Layla & her friends would watch all of my social media platforms. They constantly bullied me online . Called my phone and told me they hoped my baby would be mentally challenged. Layla had her brother shoot at my new car. She told people she would come to the hospital and punch me off of the hospital bed after I gave birth. The whole time this is taking place . She’s filing restraining orders on me lying to the police trying to have me put in jail. I moved 45 minutes away to get some peace. However that didn’t last they couldn’t physically drive past my house but used social media to harass me. Any guy I was seen with Layla tried to date or even sleep with. I started dating another guy and thought I was free aside from the shade being thrown on the internet. Well that didn’t last for long because once the new guy Rick’s ex Patty caught wind they became a task force bullying me everyday. I had moved back to my town however no one knew where. One day I got fed up and beat Patty up & took her phone 🫣. What I found inside was messages talking about me , pictures of me & my house. Talking about my children and trying to get me fired from my job . Layla was telling Patty my phone number . They said they were going to bully me until I unalived myself. I broke it off with Rick after the gang came to my house and busted my windows out !
I moved on & got pregnant. I thought it was over until one day I realized it wasn’t. Layla at this point spent 6 years studying my online persona. She would tell anyone she meets I’m obsessed with her while she talked , dressed & acted like me. I gained so much weight that I got a butt she went and bought one. Layla moved 10 blocks away from me & then proceeded to move her business 5 minutes away from my house . I started seeing her a the local stores & she would pull up to the pump next to me & sit in her car watching me. After doing this 7 times & reaching out to my mother who I have no relationship with . I was served with a restraining order. I went to court & she admitted in open court that in the last year i did none of the things she stated in the paperwork which got me served in the first place . The cases was dismissed. This happened in 2023 . In 2024 , 7 months later she text me asking to meet up to talk . I did thinking finally she is ready to be an adult & let this shit go ! I was WRONG AF ! She told me I was obsessed with her and I’m crazy ! She said you think about me so much your business wouldn’t be failing if you stopped caring about me . Layla then stated she doesn’t think Is “Sophie wearing panties or a bra.” She brought up my kids and how I’m struggling. Said that she wants to know what wrong with me & “are you in a competition with me”. Brought up my daughter who she’s never seen or met in real life. She knew me & my daughter’s dad wasn’t together.
I don’t want to keep going because it’s way more ! I am scared because how long does it take for someone to move on ! Advice please!!!

First Previous Wiki
Penny gazed at the quartet of Elders. They were all wearing the merchandise she remembered from the last Judgment, which was exceedingly awkward. Mainly because they were wearing shirts with her face on them. But it was also oddly endearing, in a way. Until now, she hadn't seen too many Elders that were on her side.
Elders that weren't just Kashaunta or the familiar faces she already knew, like Spentha or Rho and Sai, actually showing appreciation of her, felt odd. Even if these ones went a little too far in it.
"You're even more beautiful in person, Liberator," one said.
"Uh, thanks. I appreciate that. I'm glad that you all like me. Rho and Sai told me that you all are interested in something I can give you?"
"Yeah. Maybe a short interview? We won't be like that airhead reporter. We'll ask the good questions."
"Yep, we will."
"Right then," Penny said. "Well, I'm glad to meet you."
"Thank you. Now that we're here, we'd like to know how you plan on taking care of the gang leaders."
"Well, presumably by imprisoning them. I don't think they deserve to die, even if others do. I'll leave that decision up to Justicar and his various judges in the criminal system."
Penny didn't like having to lie blatantly. She wanted to kill the slavers quite brutally, but doing that was a bad idea right now. Saying it also was a bad idea, for a similar reason. And Justicar's system was worryingly preferential to Elders, from what she'd looked up after the meeting with Pundacrawla.
"Aren't you worried that the Judges won't give proper justice?"
"I trust Justicar to do everything that is necessary."
Another lie. Justicar would do whatever he could to maintain his image. Hopefully, that wouldn't be at the cost of the Alliance's very existence.
"Got it. By the way, what's it like being human? Walking on only two legs. It seems kind of unstable. Do you fall a lot?"
A genuine curiosity from them was another breath of fresh air. It was the kind of question a quadruped would definitely ask, which put her more at ease about the nature of what they were trying to do. Even more than their evident support of her, with all the merch they were wearing. Penny felt a smile crack at the corners of her lips, unbidden.
"Not really. We can use our arms to steady ourselves pretty well. Obviously it's not as easy to balance on our two legs as it is with your four, but it's still good enough. In fact, the sprinters in the Olympics use all four limbs, since running as fast as possible also requires pumping our arms. As for what it's like to be human, it's hard to describe. For many of us, it will feel colder or warmer than Sprilnav would feel in the same temperatures, due to thinner skin. Our eyesight is more frontal than yours, given our lack of snouts, so our blindspots are a lot bigger. Our feet require shoes for rough ground, and we heal slower than you by around 20%. We can't really clack our jaws to the scale that you can, though we can make them meet."
Penny bared her teeth, showing as she opened and closed her mouth. It was nice to be able to talk about things like this.
"The Olympics?" one of them asked.
"It's a competition about athletics," Penny said. "Running, jumping, throwing, diving, swimming, skiing, snowboarding, and a lot of sports. There's specific divisions, too. Like how there's a 100 meter dash, 200 meter dash, 400 meter dash, and even an 800 meter dash for those with high levels of psychic energy. Though really, psychic energy and genetic editing have been messing with the events for a while now. And there's a Winter, Summer, and Space Olympics, each with different sorts of events. They move from city to city, though the Space Olympics are pretty much always on either Luna, Ceres, or Mercury. There's a lot more information out there on various events, but it's an old cultural practice revered by the entire species. Even more so since Phoebe's increased the prize pools for everyone."
"How does your species handle space in general? I know that you guys did things way differently before First Contact."
"We did. Mining companies kept tight control on all asteroid mining, while nations controlled planets like Earth and Mars and large planetary bodies like Luna. Supposedly, a few people planned for a cloud city on Venus, but we couldn't risk having such a vulnerable population because they'd have to rely on giant balloons to survive. That would probably be the least secure way to live, given the existence of rogue organizations and all that.
As for spaceships, most of them since we really colonized Luna come equipped with spacesuit bays, zero gravity water and food packs, oxygen tanks, emergency seats, specialized anti-micrometeorite hulls, and radiation shielding. A lot of the older military ships also were equipped with big radiators until World War Three, when it all became masses of drone warfare, with the big ships kept mainly for cargo and lanes where mass drone control was impossible.
Once the Vinarii came and we got shields, we started building big again. After all, it provided a huge number of jobs, and in the post-war economies, especially with VIs in place, a lot of people needed work. But we still go and do asteroid and moon mining, star lifting, and energy gathering. We built an orbital ring around Mercury, the closest planet to Sol, to help with all of that. It doubles as a production hub, too. Now, it's all in more systems and with a lot more friends."
"Speaking of aliens, what theory does your people have on why so many creatures resemble one another? Our jaws are adapted for hard shelled creatures, and we're told that many planets have oddly similar variations of those."
"Crabs."
She guessed what they were getting at.
It is odd, isn't it? Nilnacrawla observed.
Perhaps that is another one of the Source's whims, Penny thought.
Maybe.
A few of the Elders made exclamations of shock.
"You even have a word for them that directly translates!"
Penny chuckled. "Yeah, carcinization is a bit of a meme in the science community. But I've heard the most mainstream theories since the First Contact are that the Source itself is uncreative. It has a certain template of creatures which it largely doesn't alter, though it can take in inputs from beings close to it, perhaps even influencing them."
"Influencing them?"
"Yes. Modern depictions of wendigoes, folkloric creatures from North America, a continent on Earth, are shockingly similar to the Knowers in appearance. The internet depictions of them in particular like to emphasize canine qualities, and often show them with skulls visible directly, and with dark brown or black fur. Recent depictions, as in the past 300 years, differ from their original appearances quite significantly, with the canine characteristics in particular being enhanced.
We have sorted through all known images of these creatures and found roughly 80% similarity with the Knowers and tens of thousands of images that are literally exactly the same as Knowers. The ones we searched all came before World War Three, far before even the First Contact with the Vinarii, much less the Knowers who were entirely underground at the time due to the radiation of their home star. We believe that the Source managed to influence this facet of human culture with the actual existence of a real creature.
Other examples exist, like how the Trikkec look very similar to Komodo Dragons, Vinarii look very similar to insects known as a mantis, and the Acuarfar look exactly like insects known as wasps with the single exception of their furry snouts and green instead of yellow markings. The Sprilnav species itself shares high amounts of similarity with a fictional species known as Elites in early 2000s culture, particularly with your jaws, though you all have red skin instead of grey or brown.
The Junyli, Dreedeen, and the wanderers are the main species without high amounts of appearance in our cultures at some point. This correlates with the idea of the Source being the influencer, as their predecessors all were used to fight it. Many species of the galaxy look like parts of our culture or Earth's creatures. The proximity of these examples makes this far more suspicious than if they were across the galaxy.
But since they existed first, the only answer must be that the Source brought the influence to us first and planted the ideas in our heads. As for the ones which look like Earth creatures, all of them are old enough evolutionary branches that copying from them to Earth makes more sense. Though the references centering around the early 2000s is quite odd, it is also roughly when the internet came into wide existence, so it is also possible the Source gave the ideas a push so they would propagate, for an unknown reason. Like if it seeded the ideas that propagated across the early global network Humanity used."
"Hmm. Fascinating. We've seen evidence of the 'seeding' process among some historical nations near the galactic region of Earth before. So the Source re-uses and alters depictions of life and also life itself?"
"Maybe," Penny said. "Unless the Source is more directly tied to life than we think. There's a conceptual Death, but no conceptual Life. Isn't that odd?"
"Conceptual Life died in the Source war."
How did that really work, though? Penny asked Nilnacrawla.
Imagine a conceptual being. A few of the Progenitors, as well as Narvravarana, went up to try to harvest its power. It refused, and Narvravarana used its unique abilities to try and force the deal.
Why was your civilization like this?
Excess and greed, partly. But we couldn't really do much more expansion. Vertical expansion also had its limits if we wanted to remain relevant for the remaining lifespan of the universe. So Narvravarana, along with a few of the greatest rulers and leaders of Sprilnav society, started looking to other dimensional planes. They figured it was best not to let the problem get too much worse. Or at least, that is what they say. I believe it was to harvest more resources to use against our surrounding enemies.
You didn't have any allies? Penny asked.
At that time, all the powers of the universe were enemies. All the allies eventually merged through millions of years of normalization. We happened to get on the universal stage the earliest, so other civilizations we encountered had little choice but to surrender their independence. Some fought, others didn't, but the outcome was the same.
That seems terrible.
It was, though the other universal civilizations were no better. Some of them just exterminated all alien life they found that couldn't fight back. In that sense, the pre-war Sprilnav civilization was one of the greatest, and that's why I fought for them. Obviously, I'm biased in that regard, though.
Thanks for telling me, father.
No problem, Penny.
She refocused back on the conversation at hand.
"But a thing cannot be alive if it dies. The concept of life doesn't work that way. So maybe the Source just... took in the concept of life? Or absorbed it into whatever psychic energy really is, considering that it's responsible for all of our existence?"
"That's so crazy it might actually be true," one of the Elders said. "You're incredible, Penny."
"Uh, thanks. You're all pretty great too." Her eyes drifted to the images of herself on their clothing. She couldn't really help it.
"I have a question for you."
"Yes?"
"Do you know what I'm fighting for?"
"I assume since you're asking it here, you don't just want a one word answer," an Elder said. "I would say yes, and for the liberation of the Sprilnav from the stain of slavery. Though going deeper into your history, you have also fought for other species, either in wars or just generally moving around. It does look aimless, mostly, since the galaxy's so big. But I'm sure you've got a way through that."
"In some way. Part of why I'm here isn't just about my people. It was at first, I admit that. But as I have lived here, on Justicar, for days and weeks, I've seen you less as alien. It makes it easier for sympathy and easier to break out of simple mindsets. So far, there are many problems, but there are distinct pieces. The first is that many people want to uphold slavery. I'm not sure why, but they do. It isn't profitable, and it isn't moral. Robots are cheaper in every way, and don't need food or water.
That means it's illogical or emotional. So I could try and solve the problem with violence alone, but it won't be addressing the cause, only the symptoms. I need to get to the heart of the matter. And I think it has to do with Elders' memories and the gradual woes they have accumulated going through life. I don't want to tear that away or drug them into believing they're fine. I want to find a way to outlet that productively. The second part I have identified is scale. The galaxy is enormous, and your species is incredibly numerous. I could fight planet by planet for the rest of my life, and liberation would still be difficult.
That also means I'd need a better way of doing things. Maybe an economic or political incentive. Emotional reasons will not work permanently, nor will logic, since we are in this situation. I have found several ways to address this. Sadly, since the gangs are likely monitoring this feed, I can't just outright say my strategy. All I can ask you all to do is to believe. Believe that I have a solution, and that I and those who stand with me are working on it. Believe in me because I believe in you."
None of the Elders questioned or ridiculed her words. Most of it was because they were fans of her. But one of them, an Elder named Rahautiti, had a distinct glint in his eye. Their gazes met only momentarily, but Penny could tell he knew.
And so she appeared in the mindscape, even as they concluded the interview, which would be the first of many. It was a ploy to just talk about human culture and ideals a bit more, to get it out there. Because the hivemind's theory was correct.
In the universe, ideas had power. That power could be weaponized against those who previously stood to gain. The first part of it was the image: Nova as an unbeatable bastion. Lecalicus as the Beast, a monster capable of star-crushing rage. Twilight as... whatever she did. Penny wasn't really familiar with the Progenitor's image too much, and the various names, like the Silent Night or the Smiling Darkness, were just so unbelievably edgy she cringed every time she recalled them.
But Rahautiti understood so she moved her mindscape avatar to see him.
"Hello again, Penny. I am no threat."
"I know. I'm glad that your group is led by someone as capable as you, as well as the other groups you dabble within."
"Who discovered it?"
"Phoebe. You met with Ezeonwha, and the android wanted to ensure you weren't a way for Yasihaut to kill him."
"Yeah. We did get approached about that, actually. We're supposed to kill Ezeonwha when you walk into the Judgment hall. Of course, we won't do this, and she won't be able to retaliate against us easily while there."
"Thank you for your honesty, Elder," Penny said. "It seems I'm in your debt."
"Nonsense. 2,839. That is the number of children I have had. 2,626. That is the number of children of mine which were enslaved. The remaining 213 died in unrelated incidents, with nearly half of those involving slavers killing them. I remember all of their names, and all of their faces, Penny. I want all the slavers in this universe dead."
"I cannot achieve that."
"You cannot," Rahautiti agreed. "Not with my help or even that of Kashaunta and Lecalicus. And certainly not right now. I have not lived this long to be incapable of compromise or patchwork solutions. You show great promise. I understand your aversion to killing and the circumstantial reason why you are not doing so now. I will not grow upset if you do not resume killing when the Judgment ends. Nor do I harbor a grudge against you for the speeding space entity you left outside the room to avoid uncomfortable publicity. You are incredibly young.
A sliver of a life. But you are strong, and you are mature. That sliver of your lifespan already outshines all I could do with a trillion more years, Penny. You are right in that this isn't something you can punch your way through. Trauma is part of why slavery still exists, despite it being a wholly unjust reason for the Elders to make such a sport of it. I am sure you know the story of the war, with a great hero in your head and Kashaunta at your side. My line of work is what I started to help you. Every thought about you being the Liberator, every eye that glances on you freeing slaves, helps you to gather conceptual energy. My talent happens to be great enough to sense the Pact of Blades you have, as well. If you want, I can teach you how to hide the mark on your soul and your mind."
"I would like that, yes," Penny said. "And thank you for being so reasonable. I will ask Kashaunta to protect you from what consequences come for refusing the offer on Ezeonwha."
"There are going to be attacks on him, you know. Him and your ship."
Penny felt an odd feeling in her soul. Cardi's power flared around him, and she squinted at the sky. She just barely saw a sliver of a tentacle. Most would have mistaken it for a normal speeding space entity. But here? On Justicar, with Exile obviously not being the cause?
Only one being would cause that. Fate.
Given the subject of their conversation, it was obvious what was going on.
Penny tapped Rahautiti's jaw, adding a thin mark of conceptual power so she could easily find him again. She focused on the conceptual mark she'd left on Ezeonwha. A twinge of conceptual energy came from it. It was accompanied by various impressions, like fear, pain, and acceptance.
"I have to go," Penny said. "I will be back later. Displace."
She appeared next to the 102nd Visitor Welcome Office but not next to Ezeonwha. It was carnage everywhere she looked.
"Champion!" an unknown Elder yelled. "I am Elder Na-"
Her rising fury surged, and it took all she had not to dismember him. The distant thought of the Judgment stayed her hands, though only just.
Penny's fist collided with the Elder's jaw at twice the speed of sound. A piece of his jaws flew free. Bone fragments hit the ground behind him. Hundreds of soldiers fired on her, and she slammed them to the ground with pure will. Penny tore their guns away and sent them each to pummel the Elder in front of her with as much brutality as she could. His powerful armor wasn't as capable of defense against physical attacks as it was against her psychic energy, and so he fell.
"You... cannot save him," the Elder spat. Fields of psychic suppression fell upon her, reducing her power.
"Manipulation through Determination," Penny growled. "De-"
No! Nilnacrawla said. Do not kill him! Not yet!
"What goes up will go down."
Air hardened around the Elder and accelerated rapidly.
The Elder smashed into the shield five miles above with a speed just slow enough that he wouldn't die. He fell from it and then hit it again at a more modest speed. He'd bounce on that until the Guides came to get him.
But Penny had another target. One she had to save instead of attack.
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High Judge Tassidonia awoke to the sound of explosions. He grabbed his swords, his main gun, and the personal shield he reserved for only the most dire occasions. The sky was erupting in war all around him, and buildings were already falling nearby. The spires of skyscrapers rained down upon the entrances to the Underground, crushing thousands of fleeing Sprilnav under their wide impacts.
His implant identified members of the gangs nearby, making their way to his home.
"Retribution Cycle!" Tassidonia cried. A hidden door opened, and he boarded a small hovercraft that sported a high amount of defensive and offensive technology, a gift from Justicar for dealing with all that he had related to the Judgment. Only this time, he wouldn't be on the next one. But already, the destruction was spreading.
Micro-missiles rained upon friend and foe alike. Several detonated against the layered shields. The mounted turrets on the side of his hoverbike shot lasers into the enemies his implant identified.
"Elder Tassidonia!" an Elder cried nearby. "For the crime of defying the will of-"
Tassidonia called his fury to bear. He rammed his mind into the enemy Elder, disorienting her. She reeled, about to attack, when a thick laser smashed into her chest. It pushed her against the wall, and Tassidonia kept the pressure up until her body melted. He listened to her screams impassively, occasionally sending blasts from his gun at the gangs when their members started to stray too close.
The thick red beam did its work within twenty pulses. His swords began to float beside him, keeping pace as he sped away from his home. The entire apartment complex shuddered and began to lean, its foundation being destroyed by some effect below. Tassidonia abandoned it with only minor regret. He'd known this moment would come. Everything he needed was already with him.
He linked into the Guide network, directing squadrons to attack the breaches he'd identified. Orbital strikes fell upon them in quick succession. Thick beams of light pierced through the lower planetary shields from orbital platforms, their guns honing in on Justicar's enemies. Tassidonia's implant was linked to the grid as well. So when he eyed buildings occupied with too many gang members, orbital strikes fell on them a few pulses later.
Fire and plasma rained all around him. Explosions and smoke blossomed all around him. More missiles fell from his hovercraft. A fighter ship appeared beside him, its simple stealth revealing itself to his eyes. Tassidonia waited for the pilot chamber to open, and his craft stowed itself behind him when he got in. It was fully equipped, so soon, Tassidonia was in full control of a weapon of war.
His first order of business was detecting the gangs' most fortified areas. He peppered those bases in shield-weakening mines, followed by bunker-buster missiles. Several anti-air turrets hit him, but his shields prevented them from taking him down. He dropped three high-end Butcher Androids into the fray of the largest battles.
One of the adjacent fighter wings in the separate shield sector dropped a nuke. At that moment, Tassidonia made a decision.
Whatever insanity was going on right now wasn't worth staying here on his own. He turned his ship upward, narrowly avoiding nearly fifty missiles shot from another gang fortress, which was really just the lower floors of a supermarket. Thick slabs of concrete were being set up by androids and slaves from the Underground. All he could do was watch from above and attempt to mark those that might be a problem.
Justicar's Grand Fleet was moving in, though only the carriers and their escorts were doing anything of any scale. The armies were mobilizing, and it seemed that war had finally broken out. Justicar, while isolated due to the Judgment, would have to win a war that threatened to topple his rule entirely.
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Ezeonwha woke when the walls around him shuddered.
An earthquake?
Groggily, he activated the lights in the room. Phoebe's android was charging in the wall. Her limbs swayed with the motion. The walls shuddered again, and the lights went out. Thin, tiny cracks spread in the walls, increasing his worry factors massively. His implant notified him that this wasn't a dream. Distant screams reached his ears, and he went to the window.
Hordes of Sprilnav were running on the ground, tripping over each other to escape. He heard the thump of footsteps approaching from outside. The android activated, standing up.
"Move away from the doo-"
An explosion tossed him across the room. A Sprilnav carrying some sort of mouth weapon faded into view for a moment, smoke recalibrating the stealth field. And then he was gone. Phoebe smashed into the Sprilnav, her fists pummeling the assassin faster than Ezeonwha could comprehend.
Phoebe's arms turned into swords, and she stabbed the Sprilnav at least fifty times in a single pulse. She turned to grab him, but before she reached him, a second explosion sent him flying out of the now-shattered window.
The massive skyscraper loomed large, and he saw the ground beneath it ripple. Dull thumps sounded from below, and large, circular caverns opened beneath the 102nd Visitor Welcome Office. The whole building started to list forward, and Ezeonwha frantically activated his emergency personal shield as he started falling faster and faster. A bullet hit the shield. And then a second one. Gunshots echoed out in the distance, and he saw other Sprilnav falling from broken windows in the falling skyscraper. Gunfire erupted on the streets as Guides engaged a growing army of attackers bubbling up from basements of shops and businesses.
He saw spurts of blood exit the Sprilnav nearest him, bullets tearing holes through the woman's body. Piercing screams surrounded him, a terrible chorus that reminded him of the worst wars he'd fought in. But here, his training could do nothing. She was already dead, and he knew that he was the target of this whole attack. His eyes watered, and Ezeonwha felt so powerless. So useless.
A Corrector emerged from the side of the tilting skyscraper, eyes fixed on Ezeonwha. Then he looked down. Somehow, Ezeonwha knew when the orders had been sent. He knew that it was Astipra in the distance, a jetpack on his shoulders burning a thick flame beneath him.
Astipra looked back at the building and flew toward it. Ezeonwha felt the wind rushing past the shield as pressure. Astipra, far above, vaporized falling chunks of the skyscraper with blasts from his arm cannons. He pressed back against the skyscraper, the jetpack going into overdrive. The metal bent inward, and the groaning and twisting structure continued its fall. Blasts of light from Astipra again vaporized the set of falling chunks.
"Penny," he said. It was almost a prayer, really. His desperate mind was scrambling for whatever it could get. "Please, save me!"
He didn't know if she could hear him. Logically, it was impossible. And in a battle such as this, unlikely as well. Rippling explosions erupted across the facade of the falling skyscraper as rockets struck it. More explosions bloomed as lasers from distant police vehicles, Guides, and Astipra destroyed more of the fast-flying missiles and rockets. They pounded on the world around him, a horde of madness threatening to break his brain. He could feel the wind and gravity equalize as he reached terminal velocity.
And all he could see was the world descending into war around him. The 102nd Visitor Welcome Office continued to slump and lean against Astipra's best efforts. More bullets hit Ezeonwha's personal shield, and peppered the Guides moving over to save him. Air ambulances were shot from the sky. Even small fighter crafts were shot down by powerful ground lasers. EMPs thumped, disabling all the higher functions of his implant before he could think to use it.
A much larger explosion bloomed out, and Ezeonwha followed the rocket's trail to an Elder on the ground, standing in the wreckage surrounding a sudden tunnel opening. The Elder stared at him in glee, and he lined up another shot. Two Guides fell upon the Elder, who flew up using a jetpack to cut them in half with his sword. A hard light hologram lifted a large gun, pointing at Ezeonwha as he fell.
His eyes widened. Ezeonwha did everything he could. He angled his legs and arms. He pushed at the air. He even hefted the meager psychic energy he had, struggling with all his soul to escape the death he could feel was coming to him.
Guides swarmed beyond the shield appearing, while gang soldiers died by the hundreds to carpet bombing. Personal shields sprang up to block the explosions, and the Elder had survived. A thick red laser cut one of the fighters in half from the smoke. Above him, the collapsing facade of the skyscraper consumed Astipra entirely, though large gouts of plasma and thick explosions emerged from within. He could survive if it fell upon him, but Ezonwha could not.
Penny materialized far below, closer to the field of battle. A sweeping wave of gang members began disappearing. A bullet smashed into her head and her stomach, detonating in bright explosions. A personal shield flared and disappeared. Missiles and lasers slammed into Penny by the thousands as psychic energy gathered. A constant roll of words fell from her tongue, but without his implant, they were not translated.
Missiles crumbled into dust. Lasers impacted raw space in front of Penny before bending down and back to their origins, destroying automated turrets. Bullets still hit Penny and the Guides by the thousands, firing too quickly and densely for her to entirely block. But the large ordnance from the gangs continued to work against them.
Penny looked around, confusion evident on her face. But amidst the thousands of wounded and dead Sprilnav falling from the broken windows, Ezeonwha was hidden too well.
Shattering glass could be constantly heard, and he could feel the distant screams in his soul. A bullet smashed into his personal shield again, disabling it. A pulse later, he lost feeling in his legs.
He tried to reach out to her mind, but the war in the mindscape was equally intense. Too many Elders and Guides battling it out along with various suppression artifacts made it all impossible. He could sense Penny's influence, but couldn't directly reach her.
He let out a breath, knowing it to be the final one.
I'm sorry, Penny, Ezeonwha thought.
I wish you luck in the Judgment, and I am sorry I caused this to happen to you.
Penny finally appeared in front of him, eyes wide-
Blood erupted. A searing pain in his head told him his implant had just shorted out. And in the mindscape, he saw a mental attack heading for him, its brutal power evident. He closed his eyes.

I’ve been scrolling through lots of posts trying to inform myself but I’d love to just hear experiences from those who got pregnant before their baby hit 1 year old, Im terrified to get pregnant any earlier in case I lose my supply and can’t nurse anymore and have to do formula, or pump in preparation, but god we would LOVE to start trying for baby #2, my girl is 9 months at the moment.
Want to breastfeed her and the next as long as I can - would love to hear experiences with supply while pregnant / when did your milk go away while pregnant / what was it like nursing while pregnant?

UPDATE!!
The other day I posted asking about shipping experiences if the seller has good ratings/lots of sales. I was looking for a wearable breast pump (mom here) that retails $349 before tax. This woman had it listed brand new but no box for $100!!!! Kicker; she was out of Florida. Well I asked her if she would ship and if shipping cost was accurate cuz it only showed $3.49 and I knew that was not possible because I am in CA. She told me she would get pricing from UPS AND USPS. Which she did, we chose to go the USPS Route. She shipped it last Tuesday and I got it today. It WAS brand new and it works perfectly. Just wanted to give a good story and that sometimes, shipping works out!

Hello all, tried posting in breastfeeding thread but still trying to figure out how reddit works.
I am starting my second week back to work after maternity leave (hate every second of it) so I've added pumping while at the office to my routine. I mainly chest fed while at home so I didn't have a chance to log quality hours with the pump. Now that I'm going it a lot more I'm still trying to figure out my flange. I have the lansinoh signature and was using the 25 mm ones it came with. It was painful so I went down to 21. I still feel like too much of my areola is being pulled in so I ordered some 19 off of Amazon. I just tried one out after my last session and it feels painful and like still too much of my areola is being yanked.
Her latch was never a problem so I did not work with a consultant and my schedule is all over the place so making an appointment will be tough.
I would really appreciate some advice! Do I really need to go even smaller? The part of my areola before the nipple starts felt like it was being pinched earlier. Thanks all!

Hi all. Hoping for some help and direction. I've been back at work for a week now (hate every second of it) and I've had to add pumping to my routine. I was mainly breastfeeding while on leave so I didn't get the chance to really spend quality time with my pump until now. I have lansinoh signature and was using the 25 mm flanges that came with it. Finally decided they were too big and bought some 21s. I still feel like too much of my areola is being pulled in so I got some 19mm ones. Well I just tested them out and now it feels too small? I have added a photo for reference.
Her latch was never a problem so I don't have a lactation consultant and now that I'm back at work finding the time to go might be challenging, but if need be I'll make an appointment...
What are y'alls thoughts? Thank you!
I tried including a photo but I didn't realize that wasn't allowed... Sorry!

Just Venting May 28th 2024 I Don't think People Will Ever Understand my Situation.
Which I understand.
Just Kinda Get Tired Of People Making Assumptions when they are not in my position
How is that possible to know I'm feeling on the inside of my body
GOD knows what I Feel.
Just Human Doesn't know
I have to realize some people just are negative
Doesn't mean they are bad people
But just means I can't Fully be around them
Nothing personal against them
Just some people Make some people feel worse
Not trying to separate but sometimes you have to deal with them at a distance
Because some people bring triggers
If I see people constantly gossiping about other people I don't know
Then I know I shouldn't Probably be around them
Because Gossiping is a trigger for me
If you gossiping about others
It's only going to be so long before I'm the topic to gossip about
If you are not doing it behind my back already.
Just People Be Trolling me on the Internet and social media
For I don't know how long
I'll say about 10 years
Just People Try To Tear you down or Expose me as they say
But I don't really have anything to expose?
Trying to tear me down and make me cry again.
Like I can't control people judgments
Like I be thinking people are out of their way trying to prove something isn't wrong with me
Because I heard this from some ignorant family members and people
That doesn't know how I'm feeling
I won't be surprised if they hacked my Cellphone 📱
Which Technically is Illegal to Stalk or Record people Without their Permission
Trying to find Dirt on me or something to tear me down
Because it's just negative people that don't believe my genuine feelings I have daily
It happened to my sister malware was on her phone from her ex
So it kinda made me scary or paranoid
Ask my immediate family members my brother my mom my sister which she didn't understand at first
But trying to understand
Even my stepdad the one that passed away he didn't quite understand
Until that last year in 2015 he talked to me in person
And realized this is something I really was struggling with
We made peace in 2015
Said To Me In His Bedroom " Now I understand "
Because some people thought I was seeking attention or something
But Me Seeking attention Since I was 5 years old
That's a very long time if I was seeking attention
Most attention seekers would be tired by them almost 30 years
Most attention seekers especially if they are not getting attention
Will not Keep seeking attention because they are not getting it.
Most people stop by then
I don't have friends I don't have a following
Like Some people on social media
I am not getting ad revenue
I'm not a social media influencer trying to Garner attention
Just a regular dude venting my life
I talk like this on camera which is exhausting
And off camera to my mom and to myself in my room
Thinking because I do talk to myself since I don't have friends
I don't answer my self
But speak aloud my thoughts and feelings to release tension and stress
So this just me venting on my life.
This something I been feeling Since I was like 5 years old
I kinda knew when I was 17 it was going to be even rough adulthood than childhood
Which I tried to kill myself in 2010 when I was on Gresham road
Which that Was behind the scenes at home
Only my brother and mother seen it
Just I kinda tried numerous jobs
From McDonald's to Goodwill to factories working upwards to 16 hours some days
Trying to push through but my body couldn't handle that
Like I was feeling "Flight or Fight" responses like I was Running From Being Shot at night
By My Dad in 2011
Still have nightmares about that it just doesn't go away
And more scenarios in my childhood as well I'm not going to disclose.
People don't understand I jump when I hear gunshots
I try to not look crazy around people
So I try to look normal
But every time I hear a gunshot or something my heart starts pumping
And I start feeling exhausted and sad
Like I can't control if someone shoots a gun or pops a firecracker
But I try to put on my noise cancelling headphones
Even certain songs I have to mute if I hear a gunshot sound
If I can catch it
Even movies I'm not familiar with
I try to mute sounds if a gunshot scene comes
If I can catch it
This really a big issue
But people don't see that when I have to mute my TV
They also don't see
When I have bad days
They probably don't see if I have good days
I try to get laughs in
Because laughter is natural medicine
To distract from the negative thoughts I have everyday
They don't see due to my meds
That have me very sleepy which I take at night.. but carries on to the next morning
Sometimes I wake up at 12 pm sometimes late as 5 pm
Seroquel just does that
Even I tried waking up early I end up going back to sleep
I literally have to take a pre workout supplement
Which has caffeine which makes my anxiety worse
Just to fight it the medicine
Like I workout it's the best medicine
Better than any Prescription drug I don't do recreational drugs
But it naturally gets rid of my anxiety while working out at home
Didn't work In a commercial gym.
Which this gym equipment saved my life
It really helps me
If I lose that I probably will kill myself
And I was at risk of Type 2 diabetes
And my blood work was off due to I couldn't work out since I didn't leave my house
And of Course mentally I got really depressed since I didn't have no coping mechanism
I be depressed Alot but working out helps me cope with the thoughts I have
And temporarily gets rid of my anxiety
But only last 1 hour post workout
And anxiety comes back
Some people think I'm on steroids
Which I think I'm small
But I can't keep a stable job
Plus steroids cost money
If I can barely afford food and amino acids
Which comes from protein and food
How can I afford steroids?
I never took a steroid
I don't even take creatine anymore
Because my kidneys
And I have health issues which my natural testosterone is ok
So I have no reason to take steroids and I'm not competing in bodybuilding shows
I'm not a YouTuber or social media influencer making $1000s or even 100,000$
Making money on the Internet so I don't have a reason to
Plus due to the medicine I take it effects my Kidneys
Like I hope my kidneys are ok
Because I love to workout and it really helps me
I probably would kill myself if I can't workout and build muscle anymore
I don't use steroids
Just men's vitamins and fish oil and beta alanine and protein and amino acids from protein
I eat 200 grams daily since I'm 235 right now
Just hope my kidneys get back normal
Because I take a lot of medicine
Might have to stop one of my medications
Because I take Prep Which is A HIV medicine
Because I'm so paranoid of Contracting HIV
But I Don't even have sex like that since I don't leave my house
But I just take prep because I be scared I'm going to get HIV for a Hypothetical reason
Which I know HIV medicines I don't have HIV
I understand if I had it
But I don't Have HIV I take Prep Which is a HIV Medicine to prevent Catching it
Which HIV meds is hard on the kidneys
But Weird Thing is I don't even have sex
I haven't had sex with a woman since 2022
I haven't been in a relationship since 2019
Which was my only relationship with a woman
Just I Do Have a Desire for sex like every other human being
But Masturbating is such a lonely experience
And sometimes gets depressing
And I jack off so much
That when I had real sex with a woman I couldn't orgasm
I never orgasm from Vaginal sex or oral or even anal
Which I don't like anal sex.
Just I only orgasm from my hands
And the few I can't count on 1 Hand those women would be upset
Because they thought I wasn't interested in them
Technically I am still a virgin because I never orgasm from sex
It makes me last long like hours
I think they called it "Delayed Ejaculation" opposite of "Premature Ejaculation"
But I never could Ejaculate no matter how tight or wet the woman was.
Only Orgasm with my Hand And Pornography
Which is frustrating because I didn't lose my virginity until I was 25 years old
Which due to my Agoraphobia and anxiety
And difficult time keeping a job and not having money
I didn't have many Women partners
And sometimes my agoraphobia and anxiety
Gives me erectile dysfunction issues
But people don't see that
They don't see how my disabilities effect my whole life
They don't see I don't go to clubs or malls or recreational events
If course I can't keep a job
Because most jobs want you to work atleast 4 hours
And I barely can do 1 hour
Before my body starts false flagging
Lightheaded and migraines I deal with
And dizziness and nausea and irritation in my bowels
And lightheadedness
Blurry vision
But people say I'm just making excuses
People just say I'm lazy
People say I'm sponging or using people
People say I'm a fraud
That stuff hurts
Because Jesus knows what I feel
I pray to Jesus to get me through the day
I pray to GOD as well
To help me cope in my head
But people don't understand what they don't see or feel
So I don't like people taking what I say with a grain of salt.
But people don't understand
It hurts but people don't understand
Just my life even talking on the phone
And I have to leave today to pick up a product from the store
And I'm going to walk
I'm going to be so exhausted and check my mail
And I can't drive due to my anxiety and Agoraphobia
I was shaking behind the wheel which the blurry vision
Lightheaded ness
People don't understand because most people can drive a car
I see it on the highways all the time
They don't understand how this effects my day to day life
Even my kidneys which I pray to GOD it doesn't fails on me.
I don't drink or do drugs or abuse anything
Just hope that's ok
But Anxiety sometimes raise my blood pressure
I take a beta blocker to try to manage it
Just wish people could understand
I'm not a fraud
This is my life
I been feeling this way since 5 years old I can remember
Just as I get older it effects my life
You naturally get depressed
Which I try to cope with
Loneliness makes you depressed
Not having sex makes you depressed
Not having a partner
Or feeling like a burden makes you depressed
I just try to get laughs or find a coping mechanism
Not Able to keep a job
Since most jobs want me to work 4 hours atleast
And I only can do 1 hour which is not substantial unless they pay me 200$ for that 1 hour daily
Which is unrealistic probably would say I'm unreasonable
But that's what I need to survive
Can't die over the phone
And freelance jobs no ADA protections
Since I work for myself
And the Accomodations are not reasonable
Because you have to do what is most profitable to a company or business
1 hour 200$ is not profitable
I can't work more than 1 hour
I would be able to finish the task
And if I do for one day I wouldn't be able to be consistent
Probably crash and have a panic attack
But people don't understand

PLAYBOY Interview With Conan O'Brien Interview by Kevin Cook For Playboy Magazine February 1998
A candid conversation with the preppie prince of "Late Night" about his rocky start, his show's secret one-day cancellation and how David Letterman saved the day.
He was polite. He was funny. He gave us a communicable disease.
At 34 Conan O'Brien is hotter than the fever he was running when we met in his private domain above the "Late Night" sound stage. A gangly freckle-faced ex-high school geek he is "one of TV's hottest properties" according to "People" magazine. The host of "Late Night With Conan O'Brien" has become his generation's king of comedy.
Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. Congested too, but O'Brien has far more to worry about than his head cold. A perfectionist who broods over one bad minute in an otherwise perfect hour of TV, he worries he might be anhedonic, "I have trouble with success," he says, "I was raised to believe that if something good happens something bad is coming." Sure things look good now "Rolling Stone" calls "Late Night" "the hottest comedy show on TV." Ratings are better than ever, particularly among 18- to 34-year-olds, the viewers advertisers crave.
But O'Brien only works harder. Despite his illness he taped two shows in 26 hours on three hours' sleep. He smoothly interviewed Elton John then burst into coughing fits during commercials. Later in his crammed corner office overlooking Manhattan traffic Conan the Cool gulped Dayquil gel caps. He coughed spewing microbes.
"Sorry, sorry," he said. Of course O'Brien can't complain. He came seriously close to falling to being banished behind the scenes as just another failed talk show host.
At his first "Late Night" press conference he corrected a reporter who called him a relative unknown, "Sir I am a complete unknown," he said. That line got a laugh, but soon O'Brien looked doomed. His September 13, 1993 debut began with O'Brien in his dressing room preparing to hang himself only to be interrupted by the start of his show. Before long his career was hanging by a thread. Ratings were terrible. Critics hated the show. Tom Shales of "The Washington Post" called it as "lifeless and messy as roadkill." Shales said O'Brien should quit.
Network officials held urgent meetings discussing the Conan O'Brien debacle. Should they fire him? How should they explain their mistake?
In the end of course he turned it around. The network hung with him long enough for the ratings to improve and the host of the cooler-than-ever "Late Night" now defines comedy's cutting edge just as Letterman did ten years ago.
Even Shales loves "Late Night" these days. He calls O'Brien's turnaround "one of the most amazing transformations in television history."
O'Brien was born on April 18, 1963 in Brookline, Massachusetts. His father, a doctor, is a professor at Harvard Medical School. His mother, a lawyer, is a partner at an elite Boston Law firm. Conan, the third of six children became a lector at church and a misfit at school. Tall and goofy, bedeviled with acne, he tried to impress girls with jokes. That plan usually bombed, but O'Brien eventually found his niche at Harvard where he won the presidency of the "Harvard Lampoon" in 1983 and again in 1984 - the first two-time "Lampoon" president since humorist Robert Benchley held the honor 85 years ago.
After graduating magna cum laude with a double major in literature and American history he turned pro. Writing for HBO's "Not Necessarily The News." O'Brien was earning $100,000 a year before his 24th birthday. But writing was never enough.
He honed his performance skills with the Groundlings, a Los Angeles improv group. There he worked with his onetime girlfriend Lisa Kudrow, now starring on "Friends." But Conan was not such a standout. In 1988 he landed a job at "Saturday Night Live" - but as a writer, not as on-air talent. In almost four years on the show O'Brien made only fleeting appearances, usually as a crowd member or security guard. His writing was more memorable. He wrote (or co-wrote) Tom hanks' "Mr Short-Term Memory" skits as well as the "pump you up" infosatire of Hanz and Franz and the nude beach sketch in which Matthew Broderick and "SNL" members played nudists admiring one another's penises. With dozens of mentions of the word that hit was the most penis-heavy moment in TV history. It helped O'Brien win an Emmy for comedy writing.
In 1991 he quit "SNL" and moved on to "The Simpsons" where he worked for two years. His urge to perform came out in wall-bouncing antics in writers' meetings. "Conan makes you fall out of your chair" said "Simpsons" creator Matt Groening. O'Brien's yen to act out was so strong that he spurned Fox's reported seven-figure offer to continue as a writer. He was driving for the spotlight.
By then David Letterman had announced he was turning shin - leaving NBC taking his ton-rated act to CBS. Suddenly NBC was up a creek without a host. The network turned to Lorne Michaels, O'Brien's "Saturday Night Live" boss. Michaels enlisted Conan's help in the host search planning to use him in a behind-the-scenes job. But when Garry Shandling, Dana Carvey and almost every other star turned down the chore of following Letterman, Michaels finally listened to Conan's crazy suggestion, "Let me do it!" Michaels persuaded the network to entrust it's 12:30 slot which Letterman had turned into a gold mine to an untested wiseass from Harvard.
O'Brien was working on one of his last "Simpsons" episodes when he got the news. He turned "paler than usual," Groening recalled. The Conan moseyed back to where the other writers were working, "I'll come back with the Homer Simspon joke later. I have to go replace Letterman," he said.
NBC executives now get credit for their foresight during those dark days of 1993 and 1994. They snared the axe and now reap the multimillion-dollar spoils of that decision. In fact, the story is not so simple. We sent Contributing Editor Kevin Cook to unravel the tale of O'Brien's survival, which he tells here for the first time. Cook reports:
"His office is chock-full of significa. There's a three-foot plastic pickle the Letterman staff left behind in 1993 - perhaps to suggest what a predicament he was in. There's a copy of Jack Paar's 'I Kid You Not' and a coffee-table book called 'Saturday Night Live: The First 20 Years.' His bulletin board features letters from fans such as John Watters and Bob Dole and an 8" x 10" glossy of Andy Richter with the inscription: "To Conan - Your bitter jealousy warms my black heart. Love and Kisses Andy."
"Of course it's all for show. From the photos of kitch icons Adam West and Robert Stack to the framed Stan Laurel autograph, from the deathbed painting of Abraham Lincoln, to the ironic star taped to Conan's door - they're all clever signals that tell a visitor how to view the star. Lincoln was his collegiate preoccupation: stardom is his occupation. Somewhere between the two I hoped to find the real O'Brien.
"As a Playboy reader he wanted to give me a better-than-average interview. I wanted something more - a definitive look at the guy who may end up being the Johnny Carson of his generation."
"Here's hoping we succeeded. If not I carried his germs 3000 miles and infected dozens of Californians for no good reason.
O'Brien: Yes, this is how to do a Playboy Interview -- completely tanked on cold medicine. I'll pick it up and read, "Yes, I'm gay."
Playboy: We could talk another time. O'Brien: (coughing) No, it's OK. I memorized Dennis Rodman's answers. Can I use them?
Playboy: You sound really sick. Do you ever take a day off? O'Brien: No. The age of talk show hosts taking days off is over. Johnny Carson could go to Africa when he was the only game in town -- "See you in two weeks!" But nobody does that now. I will give you a million dollars on the first day Jay takes off for illness.
Playboy: Do you ever slow down and enjoy your success? O'Brien: If anything, the pace is picking up. Restaurateurs insist on giving me a table even if I'm only passing by, so I'm eating nine meals a night. Women stop me on the street and hand me their phone numbers.
Playboy: So you have groupies? O'Brien: Oh yes. And other fans. Drifters. Prisoners. Insomniacs. Cab Drivers, who must watch a lot of late night TV, seem to love me lately. They keep saying, "You will not pay, you will not pay, you make me happy!"
Playboy: How happy did your new contract make you? O'Brien: Terrified. The network said, "We're all set for five years." I said, "Shut up, shut up! I can't think that far ahead." Tonight, for instance, I do my jokes, then interview Elton John and Tim Meadows. We finished taping about 6:30. By 6:45 my memory was erased and my only thought was, Tomorrow: John Tesh. And I started to obsess about John Tesh. Sad, don't you think?
Playboy: Not too sad. You got off to a rocky start but now you're so hot that People magazine recently said, "that was then, this is wow." O'Brien: I try not to pay much attention. Since I ignored the critics who said I should shoot myself in the head with a German Luger, it would be cheating to tear out nice reviews now and rub them all over my body, giggling. Though I have thought about it.
Playboy: Tell us about your trademark gag. You interview a photo of Bill Clinton or some other celeb, and a pair of superimposed lips provide outrageous answers. O'Brien: We call it the Clutch Cargo bit, after that terrible old cartoon series. They saved money on animation by superimposing real lips on the cartoons. I wanted to do topical jokes in a cartoony way -- not just Conan doing quips at a desk. TV is visual; I want things to look funny. But we're not Saturday Night Live; we couldn't spend $100,000 on it. Hence, the cheap, cheesy lips, You'd be surprised how many people we fool.
Playboy: Viewers believe that's really the president yelling, "Yee-haw! Who's got a joint?" O'Brien: It's strange. You may know intellectually that Clinton doesn't talk like Foghorn Leghorn. Ninety-eight percent of your brain knows the president wouldn't say, "Whoa Conan get a load of that girl!" But there are a few brain cells that aren't sure. When Bob Dole was running for president we had him doing a past-life regression: "My cave, get away." And then back further, "Must form flippers to crawl on to rocky soil," he says. There may be people out there who believe that Bob Dole was the first amphibian.
Playboy: Do you ever go too far? O'Brien: The fun is in going too far. It's a nice device because you get Bill Clinton to do the nastiest Bill Clinton jokes. We'll have Clinton making fart noises while I say "Sir! Please!"
Playboy: Are you enjoying your job now, with your new success? O'Brien: Well, there are surprises. I hate surprises. Like most comics, I'm a control freak. But I am learning that the show works best when things are out of control. Tonight I ask Elton John if he likes being neighbors with Joan Collins. He says he isn't neighbors with Joan Collins. He lives next door to Tina Turner. So I panic -- huge mistake! But Elton saves the day. "Joan Collins, Tina Turner, it doesn't matter. Either way I could borrow a wig," he says. Huge laugh, all because I fucked up. Later he surprised me by blurting out that he's hung like a horse. The camera cuts to me shaking my head: That crazy Elton. What can I do? Of course, I'm delighted that he went too far.
Playboy: That "What can I do?" look resembles a classic take of Jack Benny's. O'Brien: There's an old saying in literature: "Good poets borrow; great poets steal." I think T.S. Eliot stole it from Ezra Pound. Comics steal, too. Constantly. When I watched Johnny Carson, I noticed that he got a few takes from Benny and Bob Hope. When a comedy writer told me how much Woody Allen had borrowed from Hope, I thought, What? They're nothing alike. Then I went back and watched Son of Paleface, and there's Hope, the nervous city guy backing up on his heels, wringing his hands and saying, "Sorry, I'll just be moving along." Now look at early Woody Allen. You see big authority figures and Woody nervously saying, "Look, I'll just be on my way." Of course Woody made it his own, but he must have watched and loved Bob Hope.
Playboy: Who are your role models? O'Brien: Carson. Woody Allen. SCTV. Peter Sellers. When Peter Sellers died I felt such a loss, thinking, There won't be anymore of that. There's some Steve Martin in my false bravado with female guests: "Why, hel-lo there!" And I won't deny having some Letterman in my bones.
Playboy: You were surprise as Letterman's successor. At first you seemed like the wrong choice. O'Brien: I didn't get ratings. That doesn't mean I didn't get laughs. Yes, I had a giant pompadour and I looked like a rockabilly freak. I was too excited, pushed too hard, and people said, "That guy isn't a polished performer." Fine! But it isn't my goal to be Joe Handsomehead cool, smooth talk show host. Late Night with Conan O'Brien is supposed to be a work in progress, and now that we've had some success there's a danger of our getting too polished and morphing into something smoothly professional. Which would suck.
Do you know why I wanted this show? Because Late Night with David Letterman played with the rules and it looked like fun. Here was a place where people did risky comedy every night for millions of people. We had to keep this thing alive. There should be a place on a big network where people are still messing around.
Playboy: How bad were your early days on the show? O'Brien: Bad. Dave left here under a cloud: his fans and the media were angry with NBC. Then NBC picks a guy with crazy hair and a weird name. And the world says, "Harvard? Those guys are assholes." I sincerely hope that the winter of December 1993, our first winter, was the worst time I will ever have. I'd go out to do the warm up and the back two rows of seats would be empty. That's hard to look at. I would tell a joke and then hear someone whisper, "Who's he? Where's Dave?"
Playboy: You had trouble getting guests. O'Brien: Bob Denver canceled on us. We shot a test show with Al Lewis of The Munsters. We did the clutch cargo thing with a photo of Herman Munster. Unfortunately, Fred Gwynne, who played Herman, had recently died, and Al Lewis kept pointing at the screen, saying, "You're dead! I was at your funeral!"
Playboy: For months you got worried notes from network executives. What did they say? O'Brien: They were worried. The fact that Lorne Michaels was involved bought me some time. But Lorne had turned to me at the start and said, "OK, Conan. What do you want to do?" Now television critics were after me and the network was starting to realize what a risk I was. Suggestions came fast and furious. I kept the note that said, "Why don't you just die?"
Playboy: Did they suggest ways to be funnier? O'Brien: They were more specific and tactical. The network gets very specific data. Say there was a drop in ratings between 12:44 and 12:48 when I was talking to Jon Bon Jovi. I'll be told, "Don't ever talk to him again" Or they'll want me to tease viewers into staying with us: "You should tease that -- say, 'We'll have nudity coming up next!'"
Playboy: You did come close to being cancelled. O'Brien: We were cancelled.
Playboy: Really? You have never admitted that. O'Brien: This is the first time I've talked about it. When I had been on for about a year, there was a meeting at the network. They decided to cancel my show. They said, "It's cancelled." Next day they realized they had nothing to put in the 12:30 slot, so we got a reprieve.
Playboy: Were you worried sick? O'Brien: I went into denial. I tried hard not to think, Yes, I'm bad on the air and my show has none of the things a TV show needs to survive. We had no ratings. No critics in our corner. Advertisers didn't like us. Affiliates wanted to drop us. Sometimes I'd meet a programming director from a local station where we had no rating at all. The guy would show me a printout with no number for Late Night's rating, just a hash mark or pound sign. I didn't dare think about that when I went out to do the show.
Playboy: Are you defending denial? O'Brien: How else does anyone get through a terrible experience? The odds were against me. Rationally, I didn't have much chance. Denial was my only friend. When I look back on the first year, it's like a scene from an old war movie: Ordinary guy gets thrown into combat, somehow beats impossible odds, staggers to safety. His buddy say, "You could have been killed!" The guy stops and thinks. "Could have been killed?" he says. His eyes cross and he faints.
Playboy: How did you dodge the bullet? O'Brien: There were people at NBC who stood up for me. I will always be indebted to Don Ohlmeyer, who stuck to his guns. Don said, "We chose this guy. We should stick with him unless we get a better plan." He was brutally honest. He came to me and said, "Give me about a 15 percent bump in the ratings and you'll stay on the air. If not, we're going to move on."
Playboy: Ohlmeyer started his career in the sports division. O'Brien: Exactly, his take was, "You're on our team." Of course, it wasn't exactly rational of Don to hope I'd be 15 percent funnier. It was like telling a farmer, "It better rain this week or we'll take your farm away."
Playboy: What did you say to Ohlmeyer? O'Brien: There wasn't time. I had to go out and do a monologue. But I will always be indebted to Don because he told me the truth. Wait a minute -- you have tricked me into talking lovingly about an NBC executive. Let me say that there were others who were beneath contempt -- executives who wouldn't know a good show if it swam up their asses and lit a campfire.
Playboy: Finally the ratings went your way. Hard work rewarded? O'Brien: Well, I also paid off the Nielsen people. That was $140,000 well spent.
Playboy: Ohlmeyer plus bribery saved you? O'Brien: There was something else. Just when everyone was kicking the crap out of the show, Letterman defended me.
Playboy: Letterman had signed off on NBC saying, "I don't really know Conan O'Brien, but I heard he killed someone." O'Brien: Then I pick up the paper and he's saying he thinks I am going to make it. "They do some interesting, innovative stuff over there," he says. "I think Conan will prevail." And then he came on as a guest. Remember, this was when we were at our nadir. There was no Machiavellian reason for David Letterman, who at the time was the biggest thing in show business, to be on my show.
Playboy: Why did he do it? O'Brien: I'm still not sure. Maybe out of a sense of honor. Fair play. And it woke me up. It made me think. Hey, we have a real fucking television show here.
Of six or seven pivotal points in my short history here, that was the first and maybe the biggest. I wouldn't be sitting here -- I probably wouldn't even exist today -- if he hadn't done our show.
Playboy: The Late Night wars were hardly noted for friendly gestures. O'Brien: How little you understand. Jay, Dave and I pal around all the time. We often ride a bicycle built for three up to the country. "Nice job with Fran Drescher!" "Thanks, pal. You weren't so bad with John Tesh." We sleep in triple-decker bunk beds and snore in unison like the Three Stooges.
Playboy: You talk more about Letterman than your NBC teammate Leno. O'Brien: I hate the "Leno or Letterman, who's better?" question. I can tell you that Jay has been great to me. He calls me occasionally.
Playboy: To say what? O'Brien: (Doing Leno's voice) "Hey, liked that bit you did last night." Or he'll say he saw we got a good rating. I call him at work, too. It can be a strange conversation because we're so different. Jay, for instance, really loves cars. He's got antique cars with kerosene lanterns, cars that run on peat moss. He'll be telling me about some classic car he has, made entirely of brass and leather, and I'll say, "Yeah, man, I got the Taurus with the vinyl." One thing we have in common is bad guests. There are certain actors, celebrities with nothing to say, who move through the talk show world wreaking havoc. They lay waste to Dave's town and Jay's town, then head my way.
Playboy: You must be getting some good guests. Your ratings have shown a marked improvement. O'Brien: Remember, when you're on at 12:30 the Nielsens are based on 80 people. My ratings drop if one person has a head cold and goes to bed early.
Playboy: Actually, you're seen by about 3 million people a night. Your ratings would be even higher if college dorms weren't excluded from the Nielsens. How many points does that cost you? O'Brien: I told you I'm an idiot. Now I have to do math too?
Playboy: Do you still get suggestions from NBC executives? O'Brien: Not as many. The number of notes you get is inversely proportional to your ratings.
Playboy: What keeps you motivated? O'Brien: Superstition. We have a stagehand, Bobby Bowman, who holds up the curtain when I run out for the monologue. He is the last person I see before the show starts, and I have to make him laugh before I go out. It started with mild jabs: "Bobby, you're drunk again." Bobby laughs, "Heehee."" Then it was, "Still having trouble with the wife, Bobby?" But after hundreds of shows, you find yourself running out of lines. It's gotten to where I do crass things at the last second. I'll put his hand on my ass and yell, "You fucking pervert!" Or drop to my knees and say, "Come on, Bobby, I'll give you a blow job!"
"Ha-ha. Conan, you're crazy," he says. But even that stuff wears off. Soon, I'll be making the writers work late to give me new jokes for Bobby.
Playboy: Did you plan to be a talk show host or did you fall into the job? O'Brien: I was an Irish Catholic kid from St. Ignatius parish in Brookline, outside of Boston. And that meant: Don't call attention to yourself. Don't ask for too much when the pie comes around. Don't get a girl pregnant and fuck up your life.
Playboy: Were you an alter boy? O'Brien: I wanted to be an alter boy, but the priest at St. Ignatius said, "No, no. You're good on your feet, kid," and made me a lector. A scripture reader at Mass. He was the one who spotted my talent.
Playboy: What did you think of sex in those days? O'Brien: I was sexually repressed. At 16 I still thought human reproduction was by mitosis.
Playboy: How did you get over your sexual repression? O'Brien: Who says I got over it? My leg has been jiggling this whole time.
Playboy: What were you like in high school? O'Brien: Like a crane galumphing down the hall. A crane with weird hair, bad skin and Clearasil. Big enough for basketball but lousy at it. My older brothers were better. I would compensate by running around the court doing comedy, saying, "Look out, this player has a drug addiction. He's incredibly egotistical."
I was an asshole at home, too. My little brother Justin loved playing cops and robbers, but I kept tying him up with bureaucratic bullshit. When he'd catch me, I'd say, "I get to call my lawyer." Then it was, "OK, Justin, we're at trial and you've been charged with illegal arrest. Fill out these forms in triplicate." Justin was eight; he hated all the lawsuits and countersuits. He just cried.
Playboy: Were you a class clown? O'Brien: Never. I was never someone who walked into a room full of strangers and started telling jokes. You had to get to know me before I could make you laugh. The same thing happened with Late Night. I needed to get the right rhythm with Andy and Max and the audience.
Playboy: So how did you finally learn about sex? O'Brien: My parents gave me a book, but it was useless. At the crucial moment, all it showed was a man and a woman with the bed covers pulled up to their chins. I tried to find out more from friends, but it didn't help. One childhood friend told me it was like parking a car in a garage. I kept worrying about poisonous fumes. What if the fumes build up? Should you shut off the engine?
Playboy: For all your talk about being repressed, you can be rowdy on the air. O'Brien: The show is my escape valve. When I tear off my shirt and gyrate my pelvis like Robert Plant, feigning orgasm into the microphone, that shows how repressed I am -- a guy who wants to push his sex at the lens but can only do it as a joke.
Playboy: Aren't you tempted to live it up? O'Brien: I always imagined that if I were a TV star I would live the way I pictured Johnny Carson living. Carousing, stepping out of a limo wearing a velvet ascot with a model on my arm. Now that I have the TV show, I drive up to Connecticut on the weekends and tool around in my car. I could probably join a free-sex cult, smoke crack between orgies and drive sports cars into swimming pools, and my Catholic guilt would still be there, throbbing like a toothache. Be careful. If something good happens, something bad is on the way.
Playboy: Yet you don't mind licking the supermodels. O'Brien: At one point a few of them lived in my building, women who are so beautiful they almost look weird, like aliens. To me, a woman who has a certain approachable amount of beauty becomes almost funny. It's the same with male supermodels. They look like big puppets. So while I admire their beauty I probably won't be "romantically linked" with a model. I'd catch my reflection in a ballroom mirror and break up laughing.
Playboy: The horny Roy Orbison growl you use on gorgeous guests sounds real enough -- O'Brien: Oh, I've been doing that shit since high school. It just never worked before.
Playboy: Your father is a doctor, your mother an attorney. What do they think of their son the comedian? O'Brien: My dad was the one who told me denial was a virtue. "Denial is how people get through horrible things," he said. He also cut out a newspaper article in which I said I was making money off something for which I should probably be treated. So true, he thought. But when I got an Emmy for helping write Saturday Night Live, my parents put it on the mantel next to the crucifix. Here's Jesus looking over, saying, "Wow, I saved mankind from sin, but I wish I had an Emmy."
Playboy: Ever been in therapy? O'Brien: Yes. I don't trust it. I have told therapists that I don't particularly want to feel good. "Repression and fear, that's my fuel." But the therapists said that I had nothing to worry about. "Don't worry Conan you will always be plenty fucked up."
Playboy: When a female guest comes out, how do you know whether to shake her hand or kiss her? Is that rehearsed O'Brien: No, and it's awkward. If you go to shake her hand and her head starts coming right at you, you have to change strategy fast. I have thought about using the show to make women kiss me, but that would probably creep out the people at home. I decided not to kiss Elton John.
Playboy: Do you get all fired up if Cindy Crawford or Rebecca Romijn does the show? O'Brien: I like making women laugh. Always have, ever since I discovered you can get girls' attention by acting like an ass. That's one of the joys of the show -- I'm working my eyebrows and going grrr and she's laughing, the audience is laughing. It's all a big put-on and I'm thinking. This is great. Here is a beautiful woman who has no choice but to put up with this shit.
But it's not always put on. Sometimes they flirt back. Sometimes there's a bit of chemistry. That happened with Jennifer Connelly of The Rocketeer.
Playboy: One guest, Jill Hennessy, took off her pants for you. Then you removed yours. Even Penn and Teller took off their pants. O'Brien: Something comes over me. It happened with Rebecca Romijn -- I was practically climbing her. Those are the times when Andy and the audience seem to disappear and it's just me and this lovely woman sitting there flirting. I keep expecting a waiter to say, "More wine, Monsieur?"
Playboy: Would you lick the wine bottle? O'Brien: It's true, there's a lot of licking on the show. I have licked guests. I have licked Andy. Comedy professionals will read this and say, "Great work, Conan. Impressive." But I have learned that if you lick a guest, people laugh. If I pick this shoe off the floor, examine it, Hmmm, and then lick it, people laugh. I learned this lesson on The Simpsons, where I was the writer who was forever trying to entertain the other writers. I still try desperately to make our writers laugh, which is probably a sign of sickness since they work for me now. Licking is one of those things that look funny.
Playboy: Johnny Carson never licked Ed McMahon. O'Brien: We are much more physical and more stupid than the old Tonight Show. Even in our offices before the show there's always some writer acting out a scene crashing his head through my door. A behind-the-scenes look at our show might frighten people.
Playboy: One night you showed a doctored photo of Craig T. Nelson having sex with Jerry Van Dyke. Did they complain about it? O'Brien: I haven't heard from them. Of course I'm blessed not to be a part of the celebrity pond. I have a television show in New York, an NBC outpost. I don't run with or even run into many Hollywood people.
Playboy: You also announced that Tori Spelling has a penis. O'Brien: I did not. Polly the Peacock said that.
Playboy: Another character you use to say the outrageous stuff. O'Brien: Polly is not popular with the network.
Playboy: You mock Fabio, too. O'Brien: If he sues me, it'll be the best thing that ever happened. A publicity bonanza: Courtroom sketches of Fabio with his man-boobs quivering, shaking his fist, and me shouting at him across the courtroom. I'm not afraid of Fabio. He knows where to find me. I'm saying it right here for the record: Fabio, let's get it on.
Playboy: Ever have a run-in with an angry celeb? O'Brien: I did a Kelsey Grammar joke a few years ago, something about his interesting lifestyle, then heard through the network that he was upset. He had appeared on my show and expected some support. At this point my intellect says, "Kelsey Grammar is a public figure. I was in the right." Then I saw him in an airport. Kelsey didn't see me at first: I could have kept walking. But there he was, eating a cruller in the airport lounge. I thought I should go over. I said hello and then said, "Kelsey, I'm sorry if I upset you." And he was glad. He looked relieved. He said, "Oh, that's OK." We both felt better.
....See my other post with the last third of the interview

Welcome back to my weekly Dhar Mann video review series. I was bored and decided to do this week's review earlier than usual. The video I will be tackling today is Bratty TEEN RUNS AWAY From Home, What Happens Next Is Shocking. This was last year's Mother's Day special and is one that I've thought would be an interesting review for a little while now. I even posted a clip from this video the other day. Anyways, let's get the review started.
The video begins with the titular bratty teen Chloe(Logan Roe) getting her makeup ready while the doorbell rings, and she yells at her mom to get it. Mom(Katherine Norland) answers the door and a girl(Sara Kamine) is there to give Chloe a spray tan. Mom is confused and goes into Brat's room while she is dying her hair. Mom tells Brat she is too young to be dying her hair, which is kind of silly if you ask me. This girl looks old enough to be making decisions about her hair color. Mom then confronts her about the spray tan she plans on getting while she is texting a rapper named Lil Pop who she is going on a date with. Apparently, Lil Pop also flunked out of high school. I'm pretty sure Lil Pop is supposed to be a parody of Lil Pump. Now I'm starting to think I should make a video titled "Gucci Gang but every Gucci Gang is replaced with a cringy Dhar Mann clip". Mom informs Brat that she is not allowed to go out with Lil Pop and even if she was, it's Mother's Day and they have the whole day planned. Brat and Mom argue a bit more and Brat calls Mom's rules dumb. Mom says they are not dumb but important. I'm not liking where this is going because last time Dhar preached "rules are important" was the video where Regina got Jay kidnapped. Mom then complains to her husband(Chris Ready), who suggests letting her go on the date. Husband suggests to let Brat go on the date and face her own consequences. He's the only reasonable one here so far. Brat comes down saying she is leaving. Okay, now I'm starting to side with the mom a bit, your mom doesn't let you go out one time and you're running away from her right before Mother's Day? I'm as against strict parents as the next guy, but that seems VERY rash. Mom listen's to Dad's suggestion and doesn't even try to stop her from leaving.
The next scene shows Brat at her friend's house complaining about her mom. Friend(Angelina Koerner) says "you don't want to be with your mom for Mother's Day?". Brat says she is done with her mom and asks Friend if she can get a spray tan and dye her hair, wo which Friend reluctantly agrees. We then cue a shitty music montage of Brat getting a spray tan and dying her hair in preparation for her date. Brat wakes up the next morning only to realize her makeover was a disaster and she looks like what she describes as "an old lady carrot". Her and Friend go to get more hair dye. Then we cut to Brat's parent's house, where Mom is all worried about her since she didn't come home. Then we cut back to Brat trying to re-makeover herself. Then Mom is at Dharla's Diner all by herself waiting for Brat hoping she'll arrive, but she doesn't. We cut to Brat and Friend again, and Brat's hair somehow looks even worse after her re-makeover. Her hair looks like Marge Simpson's and only a small amount of spray tan came off. Lil Pop texts brat saying he wants to meet 30 minutes earlier and she is panicking. I'm a dude, so I don't really have a say in this, but this is the point where I would just back out of my date personally. We then cut home, where Mom is still worried about Brat, but dad insists that they can't stop her from going on her date. I know I said the dad was reasonable earlier, but I feel like at this point, they should at least make sure she's okay.
Now we get to the so bad it's good part of the video. Brat is going on her date and we are finally introduced to Lil Pop(Tate Doppler) and he asks her why she's dressed so poorly. Brat shows her her bad hair and spotty spray tan and says it's horrible, and Lil Pop, who speaks in a stupidly funny, hard to understand voice, agrees that it's not good. A waitress comes over with two menus and because Lil Pop is in a rush, he orders his meal. He orders a steak, and wants it so rare he says "like, blood pouring out of it when you cut it". Brat is about to order, but Lil Pop orders the chicken for her and Brat says she is a vegetarian. Lil Pop laughs and says "for real like you only eat plants and stuff". This reminds me of the football video where the bully says "maybe if you ate meat instead of that banana, you wouldn't be so scrawny". Lil Pop orders for Brat what he describes as "that one salad named after that dude". Why am I finding this character hilarious? Waitress asks if he means the Caesar Salad, and he says that's the one. Lil Pop says he is in a rush because he has plans with his mom later. Wow, even this deadbeat rapper is making time for his mom on Mother's Day(or is he?). Chloe really is a brat. At home, Mom finally caves and says she is going to Friend's house to get Brat to come home. Back with Brat and Lil Pop, they get their dinner and Lil Pop tells waitress to bring the check. We then see Lil Pop cutting his blue rare steak saying it's just how he likes it, and they shows closeups of him chewing the steak. Which is pretty gross. Lil Pop says "you got to eat your food Becca". Brat is offended and says her name's not Becca. Now she is starting to regret going on this date. Brat sees a mom and her daughter at another table eating Fettuccine Alfredo, which Brat was supposed to make for her mom, and she is starting to regret running away from her mom. Then a random girl(Alexa Cate) walks in and calls Lil Pop babe and is confused when she sees Brat with him. She informs her that her name is Becca and she is Lil Pop's date. Apparently, Lil Pop didn't have plans with his mom after all. Brat is hurt because of what she had to go through for the date. Lil Pop insults her saying she looks like an Oompa Loompa and she should go back to Wonka's factory. Brat calls Lil Pop a trashy wannabe rapper, throws her "salad named after that dude" at her, and leaves.
We then cut to Friend's house where Friend tells her mom(Maricella Ibarra) that she will do the dishes because it's Mother's Day. Brat's mom is knocking at the door looking for Brat, but Friend's Mom tells her she is on her date with Lil Pop. Friend's mom invites her inside, but she decides to go home. We then cut home where Brat has returned and has made Fettucine Alfredo for her and her mom. Brat tells her she was right about everything and she realizes rules are important. I'll give credit where credit is due, this video sent that message MUCH better than Jay's kidnapping video. Mom tells Brat she will take her to a salon tomorrow to get her Oompa Loompa makeover fixed, but Brat wants to go to school. Mom says that it's a very special case however and she will let her skip school. Dad walks by and is happy to see that Mom and Brat have made up and love each other again. And that's the end.
Conclusion
I didn't like this video when I first saw it and if you asked me even about a month ago, I would've called Lil Pop Tate's worst character. But after rewatching this, I realized Lil Pop is actually kind of hilarious(maybe not intentionally, but still). But Logan's character is bland as always, and she was acting like a real brat even if the mom was being a little strict at first. 5/10 but only because Lil Pop gives it some so bad it's good points. See you next review.
Tropes Used:
Restaurant named Dharla's, pasta dish, message of the video repeated multiple times, vegetarian stigmatized for not eating meat(not really talked about, but this is actually a fairly common trope), typecasting, shitty music montage.

...because I want to hear their thoughts on sharing this character.
I've been such a a fan of the character of Furiosa since opening weekend of FR. Charlize killed it, she was Furiosa! But now? Goddamn, I hate to say it, but Anya took that character and made it hers. And maybe even more hers.
She rocked, Charlize rocked, the character rocks. Not trying to start nothin', just still so pumped from this movie and wondering how I'd feel as an actor in that situation.

My son(12) and I went to a rip party at our local card shop and hit an awesome box. These are all from the box with one trade. The last card in the box was the Perrin! We pulled the gold HR Ursaluna as well.
His main want was the eevee art card. And since we pulled the Perrin we went in the hunt for a growlithe as well. Well we happened to find an awesome professor who pulled both and traded us the growlithe and eevee for the HR Ursaluna. My son was -pumped-
After taking a Quick Look at card values I ran back to her and gave her a $20 as well since I felt we were way ahead on the trade.
Was a great night and will be lifelong memories for us.

I have been studying this case for a very long while now and thought about each possibility... this is what I have settled on so far:
CW had NK round at the house whilst SW was away, even sharing the marital bed together once the children were asleep and unaware. Something happens, maybe NK notices something that reminds her that he is a married man or the kids wake up and she sees CW doing daddy duties... something that makes her want to leave. She states that she can't do this due to either guilt (or more likely jealousy) and she leaves.
CW changes the sheets ready for SW return but doesn't have chance to put them back on. CW doesn't sleep and NK ignores him, causing him to unravel. In this time, NK manages to look at SW facebook and finds out about the pregnancy etc. Unknowingly, CW sends a photo of the girls eating breakfast to SW whilst planning on leaving to go to NK the moment she is back to take care of the kids. He had even packed his lunch and tools for a normal day at work the following day.
NK then calls him out on what she has discovered and says something that makes CW believe that the only way to keep this women he is utterly addicted to and start a new life... is to completely get rid of anything in the way. A seemingly innocent ultimatum which, if CW wasn't so afraid of SW reaction and didn't lack communication skills... would have simply ended in a divorce. Which is why I believe it had something to do with the pregnancy of baby Nico, the boy she so desperately wanted to give him herself...
The more NK pulls away, the more CW craves her. It unravels all day long to the point where every little thing the girls say or do irks him to the bone. He puts them to bed that night knowing that it is the last time he will ever do it. He kills Bella as she sleeps and then strangles Cece. But Cece wakes up and he determines that she is brain dead (as per the story told to his sisters friend)... panicking and then putting her in the freezer.
He then waits by the door in the dark for SW to return. There is NO WAY he would risk her going up the stairs as he knows she would have checked on the girls. He did not have the balls to speak to her what so ever and certainly was too much of a p***y to confronting her when she found her girls dead. He kills SW as soon as she walks in the door from behind, hence no marks down the stairs etc from supposedly carting her down them. Bella hears her mum come in and surprisingly wakes up, making her way into the living room.
CW acts calmly telling her that mummy is sick and that they need to go to the doctor. He loads the car with Cece first, then SW and then little Bella. I can't even begin to imagine what that journey was like for Bella. Breaks my heart and makes me feel utterly sick. Adreneline pumping, CW thinks about turning back but knows he has gone too far. He knows the only possible way to come out of this is to kill Bella so that nobody knows... but now it is more of a need not a want and he cannot do it straight away.
He loads Cece into the tank as Bella sits in the car. The "are you going to do what you did to Cece" is in regards to what he did at the house and the freezer. I don't believe he strangled Cece in the car like he previously said. He then digs the hole for SW and puts her in. Bella begins to cry and he does not have enough time to conceal SW like he had hoped. He then kills Bella which I believe hurt him most of all. He describes this part in great detail and I believe it was a struggle both physically and mentally.
He then puts her into the container and starts getting calls from everybody so he does not have time to hide everything like he wanted to. He then gets back in a fluster, goes and plants the wedding ring, phone and meds quickly before acting like he's missing a shoe. NA completely ruined his plans of getting any story together as it all happened so quickly. At this point he hasn't had a single moment to think about what has happened and his next steps and is still high on adrenelene and the prospect of being free.
Instead, he uses real memories with different people in different moments surrounding those days to make him believable (in his eyes). Like the "argument in bed he had with SW that caused him to kill her"... I believe that was an argument between him and NK that caused him to kill SW. When he said he had sex with SW... he actually had sex with NK.
I feel like everything he has said in his confessions have been true... just not necessarily with the right people or moment if that makes sense. Because he is a terrible liar... he used actual moments, dialogue and feelings... just not in the right order or with the right people. Now the dust has settled, I believe to this day that he cannot utter the true words of why he did it because he does not want to get NK in trouble... eventhough she didn't kill them... emotionally she kind of did. He was devoted to her then and he is devoted to her still and I do not believe this will all truly hit him... until he has closure from NK.

Hello, I am a highschooler who is trying to build an arduino project for my mom and her garden as well as get experience in building things for college. This is my first real project so please excuse me if my terminology or understanding is incorrect. Our garden is 4 beds above the ground that are within a fence and each separated about a meter apart. I would like to create a basic automatic watering system for the plants however am not sure what exactly to do. I have a basic understanding that moisture sensors determine whether the water pump needs to be turned on or not and that all makes sense. However, every projects ive looked for, for inspiration seems to not be for large gardens and require sprinkler systems. They generally just have a tube connected to the water pump for small potted plants. I don't have acess to the hose at is would be far away from the garden and unavailabe. So i was thinking that I could get a water tank of some sort that will need to be periodically refilled by a person for the pumps to obtain water. (Gardens are about a meter to 2 meters wide I'm not entirely sure as of now)
How would I go about adding a sprinkler system to these water pumps? What water pumps and sprinkler systems do you recommend? What materials in general are recommended? Other projects similar to this you wish to share?
Thank you all suggestions are welcome.

Hi! I’m 7mo pp. EBF for all but the first two weeks. For the past couple months, I’ve been pumping once baby is down for the night + along the first morning session. Her last feed of the day is a bottle. And sometimes a bottle of pumped milk when we’re out & about. I freeze when possible but focus on feeding baby and not the fridge.
Baby has 6 teeth (bottom two fully out, top four are cut and coming down) and her latch is getting quite painful. She isn’t exactly biting me but there’s a tugging/scratching sensation that almost makes me cry.
I was talking with hubby and he’s so supportive. My goal was EBF for 6 months and I always joked my real goal was until baby had teeth but.. I’m shocked it’s kinda come true and that she has this many teeth already. I’d still like to make it to a year but I don’t think I can do it EBF without breaking down.
Would love to hear from moms who changed to combo, any and all stories. Admittedly, I’d also love some mom support of being reminded it’s okay. It’s hard not to feel like I’m totally throwing in the towel even though I’d never think that of anyone who was in my shoes.

Hello! Welcome to my [[Rielle, the Everwise]] deck. This is a slightly unorthodox approach to the commander, focusing on using her as a card advantage engine while throwing [[Dragon's Approach]] into the graveyard as often as possible to then cheat out really scary dragons. The result is a fairly strong deck, capable of holding its own at moderately optimized tables, that also lacks any infinite combos or commonly hated strategies and rarely induces salt in opponents when it wins. Here is the current deck list.

Deck Pros and Cons

Pros:
-Dragons!
-Numerous ways to win the game, if one of your win conditions gets stopped you can usually pivot to another without too much fuss.
-Draws an incredible amount of cards, and everyone likes drawing cards!
-Generally takes quick turns, plus some quick actions on other players turns, so you never end up monopolizing the game clock.
-Avoids most commander staples, and wouldn't be improved by their inclusion as the synergy pieces that replace them work better in this deck.
-Uses some relatively obscure cards to devastating effect. Always fun to win a game with a card people have never heard of before.
Cons:
-Fairly commander reliant, if people kill Rielle every time she hits the board, you're in for a rough game.
-This is a greedily built deck, with a slow start, low land count and minimal ramp. Needs a good opening hand to function properly.
-Vulnerable to consistent graveyard hate, though resilient to one-off effects.

Strategy

Mulligan
This is a deck that will do absolutely nothing if it has a bad starting hand, so getting your mulligan strategy down is important. There are three things you absolutely need to have in hand for the deck to function: a red mana source, a blue mana source and a discard outlet. If you don't have those, mulligan. You also want to have a third mana source so you can guarantee Rielle on three. This is a deck that generates incredible amounts of card advantage from the command zone, so you can safely mull down to five or even four if you have to, just make sure you get these three things.
Early Game
This is the boring and easy part of the game for Rielle. A significant amount of the time this will be your first three turns:
Turn 1: Land, pass.
Turn 2: Land, pass.
Turn 3: Land, Rielle, pass.
Not the most exciting or explosive start in the world, but it's enough. Obviously there are a number of turn one and two plays in the deck, ramp pieces, no maximum hand size pieces, [[Magus of the Bazaar]], [[Harmonic Prodigy]], etc. These are gravy, if you have them by all means play them, but the most important thing is Rielle is on the field by turn three.
Mid Game
Now the deck really starts to come online. You want to get 4 Dragon's Approach into your graveyard as quickly as possible, so start churning your deck. Unless you need to draw in order to hit a land drop, or your discard options are only sorcery speed, I generally try to save my drawing for other people's end steps. This allows you to hold up mana for counterspells and avoid end of turn hand size discards a bit longer. It doesn't matter whether or not you actually have a counterspell, you can easily draw into one and just bluffing one with the open mana can cause a lot of havoc. Once you've gotten four Approaches into your graveyard, it's time to grab your first dragon, so take a look at the board and decide which one you want.
[[Niv-Mizzet, Parun]]: This is the most common first dragon to hit the board. Unless board state dictates that another dragon is more necessary right now, consider Niv to be your default option, as he gives you card draw, spot removal and a won-con piece all in one.
[[Niv-Mizzet, the Firemind]]: If you already have Parun out, or if you happened to draw Parun and thus can't grab him from your library, this is a good second option. Having both Nivs on the board gets very silly, very fast.
[[Ancient Copper Dragon]]: Far better when you have Anger in the graveyard for an immediate attack, Copper is unreliable but can be an absolutely monstrous mana swing. I like to grab Copper if I have the dragon I actually want to play or another win condition in hand.
[[Ancient Silver Dragon]: For times when Rielle just isn't keeping up with the card draw you need, somehow. Usually a supplementary piece for when Rielle has been removed too often or you already have Niv on the board and want a burst of draw. Also really wants Anger in the graveyard.
[[Hellkite Tyrant]]: Is someone popping off with artifacts? Not anymore! Great answer for artifact decks and also a great alternative win condition for decks that make it so you cannot deal damage to them, especially combined with Ancient Copper.
[[Balefire Dragon]]: Sometimes token decks just get a bit out of hand and you really need to knock them down a peg.
[[Utvara Hellkite]]: For when you have dragons you want to be attacking with but you really can't afford to take the crackback. Probably my least used dragon, but sometimes it comes in very clutch and offers a good, last ditch, face beating win-con.
End Game
How you play out the end game and pilot to a victory depends heavily on the dragons you've pulled out. There's a variety of win conditions available to the deck, which I'll list out here and which one you attempt to navigate to will depend on your judgement of the game state.
Fire and Fury: This is the simplest and easiest way to win. Get a Niv-Mizzet on the board, ideally both of them, Harmonic Prodigy if you can, and then just draw all the cards and burn everyone out with dozens of pings to the face. Often I try to finish this off with [[Firestorm]], discarding as many cards in hand as there are legal targets, including my own creatures and face if necessary, then drawing a bunch off the discard which will trigger before the resolution, using the pings to bring everyone low and having the Firestorm finish them.
Build the Hoard: Sometimes people end up with 300 life and you'll deck yourself trying to ping them down, so you need an alternate solution. Enter Hellkite Tyrant and Ancient Copper Dragon. Get a whole bunch of treasures, steal a bunch of artifacts, and then just win on your upkeep regardless of life totals.
Ripples of Power: This is probably my least favourite way to win, but sometimes you're just having a hell of a time keeping engines on the board. Drop [[Thrumming Stone]], play Dragon's Approach, everyone probably dies to the burn as you play every single Dragon's Approach in the deck, and if they don't, you also get to play multiple dragons for free and then use those to finish the game out.
Tooth and Claw: While most of the dragons in this deck are value engines, they are also still dragons. Get Utvara Hellkite on the field and just start swinging. It can be pretty hard to deal with an absolute barrage of big, flying, beatsticks.
Old Lady Strength: While there's very little in the deck that really helps with a Voltron strategy, Rielle does get pretty high power just as part of the game plan. Doing something like a [[Turbulent Dreams]] to clear someone of blockers and pump Rielle to lethal amounts of power can be a powerful solution to a problem opponent.

Notable Cards

[[Attunement]]: This card is insane value with Rielle. Draw 3 discard 4 draw 4 for 3 would be good if that was all it did, but you get it back every time, too and can play it to use at instant speed on other people's turns for free.
[[Breakthrough]]: X is basically always zero or one if there's a specific card you want to keep. Draw 4 discard your hand draw that many cards for 1? Insane. Especially good with Library of Leng out.
[[Dack Fayden]]: This one's a bit weird, Dack is usually used for his -2 to steal an artifact or to try and get off his ultimate in order to commit grand larceny, but in this deck he's almost always just a repeatable draw 2 discard 2 draw 2. People do get spooked by him sometimes, especially if his loyalty gets into ult range, but there's like 2 cards in the deck that can utilize his ult emblem and it's really just not what the deck does, at all. Keeping him on the table can be difficult if people don't believe you.
Firestorm: Wonderful game ender or board wipe. One very important thing to remember is that X cannot be higher than the number of legal targets. Sometimes you have to hit your own stuff in order to get X high enough to kill people. Sometimes you don't want to use your Niv pings to remove problematic enemy pieces because you want more targets for the Firestorm you'll be casting next turn.
[[Foil]]: Free counterspell AND you get to draw two cards? Incredible value.
[[Forbid]]: 3 for a counterspell discard 2 draw 2 and you get to keep the counterspell in hand? I've had people scoop as soon as they realize the implications of this card. You will never run out of counterspells with this in hand, though you can still run out of mana obviously.
Harmonic Prodigy: At first I dismissed this as good, but not incredible, because while doubling Rielle triggers is huge, I thought that was all it did. Except... both Niv-Mizzets are wizards, too. So you double your draw, then double the damage from the draw. This gets out of hand very quickly.
[[Library of Leng]]: Very useful piece, but it's extremely important to note that it only triggers when an effect causes you to discard, not a cost. Firestorm, Turbulent Dreams, [[Sphinx of the Chimes]], [[Cathartic Reunion]], Forbid and [[Nahiri's Wrath]] are all costs, and thus their discards cannot be put onto the top of your deck.
Sphinx of the Chimes: Probably the card Commander players have seen the least, if you get this on the field you should probably just win the game. Discard 2 Dragon's Approaches to draw six cards at instant speed for free, as often as you want. Worth it even if Rielle has already drawn you cards this turn and you only get four. Activate this twice and you have enough Approaches in graveyard for a dragon, and having this with Niv-Mizzet is an absolute terror.
[[Stream of Consciousness]]: A bit of recursion for when things go sideways and you end up wanting a dragon that's already dead, or that you drew and discarded, back in your deck to grab with an Approach. Only one effect like this because I've rarely needed it and you draw enough that you'll usually hit it when you do need it.
[[Teferi's Puzzle Box]]: One of the most frustrating things in this deck is when you draw the dragon you want to cheat out with Dragon's Approach. This puts them back in the deck while also letting you draw a whole bunch of new cards for Niv to trigger off.

Conclusion

Thank you for reading my primer on Dragon's Approach Rielle, I absolutely love this deck and it's far and away my most played Commander deck ever. If you end up playing it or something like it, I would love to hear your thoughts and stories, and I'm always happy to answer any questions you may have on the deck.

I’ve got a strong belief that Tupac Shakur stands alone as the rapper who truly made a difference in society. His music wasn’t just about beats and rhymes – it carried real meaning. He tackled heavy topics like considering suicide, showing respect for his mom, and shedding light on harsh realities, like Brenda’s story; a 12 year old girl getting pregnant by her cousin and disposing the baby In a dumpster.
This may be harsh, and excuse my language. But Fuck King Von. Fuck Drake. Fuck Blueface. Fuck SpottemGottem. Fuck Julio Foolio. Fuck Lil Pump. Fuck Cardi B. Fuck The Migos. Fuck Ice Spice. Fuck Future. Fuck Youngin Ace. Fuck Lil Dirk. Fuck chief Keef. Fuck Yeat. Fuck Lil uzi vert. Fuck playboi carti. Fuck Ken Carson. Fuck destroy lonely. Fuck Kay Flock. Fuck New York. Fuck Chicago. Fuck O block.
These rappers don’t mean anything to society, they have nothing valuable to say. These rappers music, image, and career is worthless. This is just how I feel. With the old beef of “Youngin Ace, and Julio Foolio. Youngin ace made a song titled “Who I smoke” dissing Foolios dead friends. Which one of them was a 16 year old child. And Youngin aces friends were smiling and dancing. So fuck every rapper that does this. “Smoking tooka!” * tooka was 15*. I was raised listening to rap music, and I was also raised with the human nature to understand at birth that killing people is bad, and that when people do morally unethical things without remorse, they are the enemy.
Name 5 king Von songs that matter- that society should hear.
Name 5 Blueface songs that matter- that society should hear.
Name 5 cardi B songs that matter that society should hear.
Tupac is the only rapper that has rapped about suicide, FIRST. Tupac didn’t deserve to die. THESE rappers do.
I know Tupac rapped about violence too, but he was aiming for change, you know? He wasn’t perfect, but he was genuine. He rapped about topics that made people feel human. It made people realize that the biggest “gangsters” can feel emotions too. It brung people together. Change my mind.

So last year my store manager and my other shift lead quit without warning leaving me (SFL) as the only manager of any kind at my store. They hire new managers after about a month and basically none of the worked out except the store manager. Specifically our ESM has not let any of it go since she got fired. She blames our RXoM and our IS for her being fired despite the fact that apart from being extremely ineffective as a worker she also had an HR complaint from every front end TM because she couldn’t stop making unnecessary comments about customers who were not the same race as her or about LGBT individuals working at our store. Since she was fired she has sent threats to our store manager targeting her, our IS, and our RXoM. We all ignored it and wouldn’t answer her or even talk about her as time went on. Many of the threats include knowing what cars we all drive, where all of us live, what the people she knows were capable of doing blah blah blah. She’s also still come into the store at least twice recently.
So last night I closed at my store. The AC in my car is broken and I borrowed our ISs car to get to work because the Louisiana heat just doesn’t mix with me well. Anyway, I closed last night and my CSA and I went to our cars to leave. As we start pulling out to leave someone pulls into the parking lot. No big deal, customers act like we’re 24 hours all the time even though we haven’t been for over ten years. This car drives around the building and essentially follows me almost all the way to my house. I took the most convoluted way home trying to get away and they stayed behind me, like right behind me, the entire time no matter how fast I went until I pulled into a police station at which point they pulled into a gas station across from the police station and pretended to pump gas at the close gas station. I pulled back out and sped home but as I drove by the person waived at me signaling not only that they were following me but that they wanted me to know it. I’m almost certain it was my ESMs brother who I met only once. I texted my SM who is on leave when I got home to tell her there’s no reason for us to be open until midnight if this is the type of shit that’s gonna happen.
Remember too, I was in my ISs car meaning they potentially meant to be following her.

I was pulling a pallet jack with an appliance on it, hauling ass to the front cause I have to get back to picking the online orders I have waiting. These things have no breaks.
A customer throws her arm out like she's going to clothesline me. I stop to avoid hitting her, get hit by the pallet jack, fall back over the appliance cause it was a pretty hard hit, and just stand there trying not to cuss.
She goes on this mini rant about how she already has the pump spray bottle but she owns rental houses and can I tell her where the spider killing liquid is? She just needs the liquid cause she had the spray bottle already and it's for the houses she rents out.
I now have bruises on my legs from the jack. And I know one of these days I'll go home with a bloody nose from customers throwing their phone in my face while I'm charging down an aisle.
We're even color coded at my store - different vests mean different things, and EVERYONE knows what color vest to ask. It's very publicized.
Anyone else been hurt because customers are awful?