Long story but I think I need to get it out for therapeutic purposes
TDLR: Ended up spending everything on a lemon, how do I make myself ok with this?
Also, I want to note that I fully understand that this is a privileged problem to have, with so many currently homeless or in the rental crisis.
In 2020 my partner and I built our first house. We were both low income with a dependent so we couldn't afford to build much. We went with a small bit of land in a very cheap suburb. We built our first house on a tight budget. I designed the floor plan, together we picked the finish. It was beautiful. Sadly though the backyard was too small, we couldn't sleep for traffic noise and we had an abusive neighbour. We decided to sell and walked away debt free (including personal loans etc) and over 100k profit, this was the start of the property boom.
Moved into a rental and planned to build a bigger house now finances were a bit better without the debt. Partner bought his dream car but we were left with enough for a build deposit. We purchased rural land and designed an amazing house. Due to job changes though the distance became an issue and we had to sell prior to building as it wasn't feasible. Luck was on our side again though and we made 10k profit from the land.
We planned to build local and purchased land. This is when building prices sky rocketed though and we were struggling to get what we wanted in budget. We also discovered my child needed access to swimming for therapy. Being in a rental the blow up swimming pool was not allowed and was about to cause us huge issues.
We found a house for sale that was large. On 700m2, had a beautiful pool and spa. It was listed for $599,000 to $630,000. The market was extremely competitive, and from previous experience when we sold our first house we went in with our best offer subject to building inspection. We offered $650,000 and had $30,000 left over for house improvements, we planned to heat the pool for our daughter etc. We got the building inspection and that came back with no defects and that the property was in good condition.
We moved In and everything went to hell from there. Turns out the flooring was a DIY and the grout was never sealed or whatever so our feet were constantly black. Even now 6 months later with constant cleaning the tiles always look dirty. We didn't realise things like linen cupboards were gutted. The spa does not work and needs to be chucked (bubbles work but doesn't heat and shorts out)the pool needed massive repairs (all this was meant to be checked by the specialised building inspector) the roof needs 20k of work, there's a leak behind the wall in the bathroom, the electrical work was a DIY job and a safety hazard, it's just endless issues.
Obviously our money quickly went to fixing the safety issues with nothing to spare and nothing to show for it. We can't heat the pool for my daughter so that can only be used in the height of summer. The spa was the back up plan for the dead of winter but that doesn't work and is so old would cost too much to fix. We don't even have access to a bath as she needs me in with her for regulation and it's so small I literally don't fit, I'm now squeezing in everynight and dealing with bad leg cramps each day. We knew the bath was small but figured the spa would be a happy replacement for water regulation. The floors have to be washed twice a day and are doing my head in. Can't fix any of the cosmetic issues like we'd planned.
I'm so angry and disappointed with myself for making the decision to buy this house but also not listening to my intuition. When we inspected the house privately the owners were walking out the front, and the female owner gave me a look and my intuition screamed don't buy, we fell in love though so I ignored it. I'm extremely angry at the building inspector who missed everything, we would not have bought this house with even one major defect since we had such limited liquid funds. I'm angry with my partner because he is not open to selling it and moving on, he wants to settle which I get, he hates moving as does my child, but it will be a very long time before this house has enough equity for any renovations.
How do I deal with the fact I was handed this golden opportunity to have a really nice house for my child and I blew it on this? How do I accept that I should have gotten two building inspections?

I don't know what to tag this. It IS a vent, and I do want comfort (and also kind of validation that this situation is not normal, is not appropriate, etc). Gonna put the latter. I've tried to write this post probably a hundred times and every time I break down. I don't know where to start. This is a shitstorm with a lot of personally identifying information. I've changed little details that are not relevant to the story, just in hopes of not being identified.
I am 17F. I am an unpaid and unrespected full-time caregiver to a female relative who adopted me at 11. My parents were abusive, and I haven't spoken to them since "mom" rolled away in a cop car to spend a month or so in jail. My mother was a teen mother, sort of—she got pregnant at 18. She and my father both did (and do as far as I know) drugs heavily, mom is bipolar, paranoid, violent. Dad is more of your "classic" alcoholic and you don't see a lot of cogs turning, like talking to a blank wall. Well, when my mother got taken to jail my aunt took custody and then adopted me. She has chronic illnesses and also was in a car accident when I was four, is physically disabled and has become more and more mentally unstable over the years as well. Around 13, she started losing mobility to the point of needing help. Well it just kept spiraling and spiraling. Now she needs help with everything short of wiping/bathing. She doesn't leave her room or do anything. If it gets done in the house, I do it—other than the 1x monthly housekeeper Louisia. And I do a pretty damn good job. But, oh my god, I am so tired. I have a lot of mental illnesses (all professionally diagnosed, don't speculate please), I take a pretty heavy medicine that can cause some side effects, I have physical problems but doctor never pinned down a specific diagnosis outside of a few abnormalities in my bloodwork and ultrasounds. I'm so exhausted all the time and I feel like my lifeblood has been sucked out of me. I have no joy, no hope. We hate each other, and the only reason she keeps me around is because I do everything from laundry to cleaning her room to bringing her food. I DO NOT have a better option in terms of housing and I am not facing any physical abuse. Please don't try to find my identity or anything. I just want to feel like a human being. She is the type to ask you to do a lot, and then get offended when you bring up the extent of her requests. I have no time to do anything for myself, and I spend every second thinking about how this is ruining me. I'm so angry. I could scream until I pass out. She is so petty and cruel, and everyone swears I'm the crazy one. I won't claim to be totally sane, my god, who would be? But the math is pretty obvious: if she's not leaving her room, even to go to the bathroom, who's doing everything? Casper the friendly ghost? As I said, I feel subhuman, unappreciated, unrespected. She always says "I love you but I don't like you", and I always say she can't name ANYTHING she likes about me. She misses and loves a version of me that died years ago both as a result of trauma and growing up. I try to be a good person, to do anything I can, but I just break down crying and yes I get angry and petty and argue with her. It doesn't help anything but I can't tell ANYONE because it's so absurd they don't believe me, other than my friends who I don't want to burden constantly as they are just teenagers and cannot come up with solutions any better than I can—and frankly comfort from people my age who don't understand only goes so far. I start to resent everyone and everything related to caring or domestic work; the enormity of my grief and anger poisons everything about me. I get angry at people i've never met (on the internet) for doing things like talk about being a housewife. I just think, my god, I want away from this so bad and they're advocating for it! I'm not cut out for this. I want to write poetry and cook food that I like and learn to play chess better and find my life's work. I have scoured books on therapy, have been in therapy, and all kinds of self help books and religions. None of them can cut out the root, which is that this life makes me want to run away and join the circus. I have so many talents and interests and days to live and they are being wasted on maintaining the life of someone who hates me and will never get better or appreciate what has been done for her.
Please don't DM without permission. Thank you so much.

It wasn’t always bad. The first 4 years were pretty good. The occasional fight or spat, then we had our first kid and there was this weird subtle shift. Barely noticeable, but definitely there. I was dealing with being a new mom, fell into a pretty bad postpartum anxiety, to the point I had to quit my job because it had gotten so bad. He started coming home from work then sitting in the garage for hours or leaving the house at odd times. It took me 2 years to figure out that what he was doing in the garage was smoking meth. Leaving to buy meth and to meet up with other people because according to him I wasn’t satisfying him. But how was I to know that you can’t actually satisfy a meth addict, something about the high. I don’t know I’ve never done it.
Anyway, I forgave him and tried to help him with his addiction. Tried everything I could think of short of having him committed to a rehab facility involuntarily… which I don’t think I can do without a court order. I lasted 8 months doing this before I couldn’t do it anymore, but then I found out I was pregnant, weirdly I was on birth control…fun. I feel like I need to add here that although our second baby was a bit of a surprise she was very much a wanted baby… a baby I had planned to try for 4 months after I actually got pregnant and only if things had calmed down. Oh and I had also started working again 6 months prior.
Well things got worse, so much worse. 7 months into my pregnancy I found out that he had been having an affair with some girl 12 years his junior who he wanted to move into my house with our children and be in a relationship with this person and I was supposed to just accept it. On top of that I also figured out he was sleeping with multiple other people…While in a panic, I had a moment of clarity and I ran to my OB and had them run every possible STD test out there. And positive it came back. Thankfully it was bacterial, caught in time and my doctor was able to treat it and get rid of it with a round of antibiotics.
That was it for me. I ended it. 7 months pregnant with a toddler and single… super excited. I wish I could say things got better after that. But, as so often happens, things got worse. Now I was being threatened to be beat up by his girlfriend. I was so deeply depressed I was hardly eating anything. When the baby came (during the beginning of Covid lockdown, by the way), he slept while I labored, was visibly high while I gave birth and stayed exactly 1 hour after she was born and then took off and didn’t come back until it was time for us to go home. And only then he only came back because he had my car with the car seat and I begged him to come get us after he suggested my sister pick us up.
And yet, I was so embarrassed about the whole situation blaming myself entirely for all of it. After all I chose him. No one knew what was happening. No one knew of the cheating, the meth, that sweet little letter he wrote me to convince me to bring his girlfriend to live with us. His threats of suicide and self harm. Nothing. And then one night 2 years later I decided I needed to start dating and so I did… bad idea… it lasted 2 months before he hacked into my phone. My email, my everything and was watching my every move. I figured it out one night when my phone stopped working and I went to my provider to find out what was going on. They let me know someone had cloned my sim and had access to all my personal accounts… they showed me the number that had my sim… it was his phone… his excuse when I confronted him? “I had to know where my children were” mind you I had never lied to him or kept the kids from him, matter of fact I went out of my way to tell him where we were and how long we’d be. I moved out that night. I went to the house grabbed all essentials for the kids and myself and anything else I could possibly fit in my small SUV asked my parents if I could stay with them and never looked back.
Three months later I found a tracking device in my car. I now have a permanent restraining order against the guy and he’s worked himself out of having both physical and legal custody of the kids.
All that to say that in the 4 years since I left him, I’ve tried to date several times… and… I can’t seem to stay with it. I’m afraid of everything. I’m afraid of being hurt again. I’m afraid of someone hurting my children, not that they ever even meet them. I’m afraid of ending in the same place I am now. I’m afraid of putting that much effort into someone again. I don’t know how to make the fear disappear. I don’t know how to let anyone in again. I’ve tried therapy, I’ve tried just jumping into it and nothing. I end up running for the hills.
I’m not saying I need to be in a relationship, but it would be nice to not feel so afraid of it. So stuck in this bad place that I can’t open up to the even the possibility of it.

This is my first time posting so I’m sorry if it doesn’t make much sense or I’m trauma dumping a lot also a couple trigger warnings, I’m not sure where to start off with. Me and my mom used to be pretty close I’d say up until I started high school. Middle of eighth grade I moved to a new city so I was back to trying to find some friends. I’ve been moving around since I could remember, I used to live in Germany where I moved twice, then moved to the US around the Silicon Valley, moved again, and again and again now we’re here. I wouldn’t be explaining this part of my life if I felt like it didn’t have any weight in this situation. Middle school I found a friend, me and her got pretty close, stuck through Covid together. My mom hated her and not even two years into our friendship my mom started accusing her of stealing from us, being a bad influence and overall just being trashy. Her parents were in the middle of getting a divorce and she had a lot of things going on in her life. I dyed my hair red during this time too while being friends with her, she probably was a huge influence on me but that’s also because it was covid and I was bored and who doesn’t start irrationally bleaching and coloring their hair at 14. I think my mom thought she was a bad influence on that part too because she's the one that first started off coloring her hair like purple and pink etc. My mom never of course said anything to my friend but she made sure I would hear of her disapproval concerning her bad influence in my life. I stopped being friends with her freshman year since my parents banned me from having her over or going to her house, I couldn’t drive neither could she and hanging out at each other's houses was pretty much what we did 80% of the time. I was so frustrated and felt trapped because the only friend I really cared about was someone I wasn’t allowed to associate with anymore. I told her I was done being friends with her over text and blamed it on me just being in a dark place and breaking it off. She was confused and called me a week later about something personal but I just dismissed it. Granted there were other things going on in our friendship but I felt terrible about it especially since her parents were going through that divorce and I just left during such a sensitive time. I hate to admit it but I felt so much better since I started making new friends quickly and started sitting with a new group the next day. Mostly guys and other two girls, it worked out fine for the next year. Junior year my grades started dropping so my parents got stricter, started taking my phone, looking through it, screen time etc. I felt like it was a huge invasion of privacy since my mom would look through my texts. Me and my mom also started arguing weekly about whatever it was but when I mean arguing I mean like full on yelling for two hours down in the living room with no stopping. I can’t do anything about it because whenever I say something remotely disproving her so called “facts'' since she always speaks with so much authority on subjects she wouldn’t even know about I’m the one that has to quiet down from my fathers perspective, and I know this will be mostly about my mom but me and my dad have always been close even when we’re fighting within a week we at least make it up. We play the same sports, have the same humor etc. I understand this might look like us disregarding my mom and I know she cares and loves me yet in certain circumstances she doesn’t show it so of course there’s going to be reasons as to why I’m closer with my dad than her. For example I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes in 4th grade and of course I wouldn’t expect anyone to know that when you're low you need carbs or when your blood sugar is high you need insulin but my mom to this day still does not understand it. I wouldn’t care even if it’s my friend but as my mom you take so much authority over my life and who I can’t or can hangout with but you don’t know the basics of how I have to manage my life behind closed doors in the house that you and I live in every day. That might sound overdramatic but it’s just something I think about. Also growing up, I’m an only child by the way, I would always play by myself whenever we went on vacation for example to the beach etc. it was always my dad that came and played with me in the sand while at sharing his time with me and my mom so my mom wouldn’t gets upset over him leaving her to go play with me. Even now I notice how my mom would always make snarky comments regarding how my dad always treats me like a princess and cares too much over me. Anywho, since I know this is getting pretty long I’ll try to sum it up a bit more. I started liking one of the guys from that group, I would text him on a daily basis just about whatever. We were pretty awkward in person since I’ve never really talked to that many guys and I don’t think he really had much experience either so we stuck it to mostly phones, everyone else in the group also didn’t know. Once my mom went through my phone on one occasion that night, because she would collect it on some nights and read through my messages in bed she saw one message from that guy calling my mom bipolar and me responding with something like it’s fine like I still love her she freaked out. She told me to never talk to him again and that I’m a brat for talking about my family issues outside of the family etc. I honestly had nobody to talk to. The other two girls in the group didn’t really talk to me at this time, I later became really close with one of them though more on that later and I had no other friends in that town so it was really only him. He had a plethora of family issues that I couldn’t even imagine so I felt like he understood where I was coming from at times better than other kids with American parents. Not sure I mentioned but my parents were both born in Eastern Europe and grew up during heavy communism so that definitely affected them and their parenting style. Anywho, my mom sent me a paragraph to show to him, basically telling him to never talk to me again and that he has to apologize to her etc. After a couple months I think he took me out on a date. I'm not sure what to make of it since it was pretty casual. We just got ice cream. I told my parents that he was only picking me up so we could meet with the rest of the group when of course we’re not. The rest of the guys saw us downtown and found out about it. That kinda really sucked since I’m pretty sure one of them liked me so he got really mad and it kind of ruined the group dynamic. The guy I liked stopped talking to me a couple months in since I couldn’t really do much or go anywhere and dating as a result would be hard so he stopped really talking to me it was pretty off and on since I would get mad stop texting him and then he would try to get back texting at me and once I showed him I cared he’d stop. I was so mad at him and the situation that I refrained myself from talking to him, two weeks later he killed himself. I found out because one of the guys from the group faced me and told me. I went downstairs and started crying and formed the sentences explaining it the best I could, pushing a couple words out at a time. In that very moment I felt so hurt and vulnerable by what just happened my mom responded by just looking at me and saying that he had it coming for him since he probably vaped and drank. My dad ran downstairs since he probably heard me crying and the first thing he did without asking me any questions was hug me. For the first time ever he told my mom to shut up since her trying to ask me questions about how he died just made me sob harder. Over the next week my mom was pretty lenient about letting me go out. The next week she started asking what happened to him. Me and my mom were not close at all anymore at this time. You see mothers and daughters talking about guys or what dress they’re gonna wear to the prom etc in the movies. Me and my mom are not like that. On top of that I was overwhelmed with what happened and as someone does overthinking how things could have played out differently. Anyway I refused to tell her anything saying I was too uncomfortable and over the course of the next couple months of senior year she would get progressively mad and irritated at me to the point of arguing and yelling at me for not trusting her and telling her how he killed himself. I to this day told her nothing but she stopped asking. I don’t know how my dad feeds into this since he’s always so Switzerland about everything when I know I’m right in an argument between me and my mom, however when my mom has leverage he takes her side. Anyway, the beginning of senior year was rough. I hated being in that house and really started seriously considering the only options I felt like I had at the time. I started becoming closer to that one girl from the group earlier, spoiler alert my mom strongly dislikes her now too since she’s a liar and since she’s close with her mom but not her dad that means her parents are having marital issues and therefore her mom is a cheater etc. I don’t understand how she goes from one topic to another and sorts these things into her head. She’s my only friend that I’m really close with and I have been for the past these almost two so hearing this is very disheartening since I’m sending off senior year and I can’t do this again being so close to the end of the year. I forgot to mention but during homecoming I drank for the first time and I had one of my guy friends with his girlfriend and that friend that I’m not friends with drop me off. When he dropped me off he didn’t wave to my mom so she now thinks he’s a bastard in her words and disgusting and she deserves and apology for all the times he’s been over to my house etc. which I honestly think is insane because how do you always have so many issues over my friends and why are you so obsessed with 16 year olds, like you really have beef with high school kids as a 50 year old. Anyway the reason I bring that up is because I invited him over a couple weeks ago for some drills to help one of my other friends with mma since me and him used to wrestle and my mom got mad despite him not being there for me but for my other friends benefit. I’m not sure if this makes any sense. I'm trying to explain the issue best I can without saying too much. Anyway my friend, the one that I’m friends with now, the girl and that guy from the group that didn’t wave at my mom are both Latin so my mom started calling them cheaters and dirty etc when they had nothing to do with anything. This argument spiraled over me asking my mom if I can have a sleepover with those friends since we want to bring a new series on Netflix. Also during prom I asked my parents for 10 dollars since I already had twenty in my account and I wanted to buy hair stuff for prom. They gave me the 10 and I said how I was going to catch a ride with friend A so that when friend A picked me up but friend B that I did not mention in the plan picked me up my parents started calling and texting me. To give some background friend B has been close with me since freshman year, probably the only friend my mom has liked and also the only white friend I have not sure if that has anything do with it but there’s that. She’s really sweet and has been invited over multiple times to my house by my parents, they do really like her. Anywho yet since I didn’t mention that friend B was driving the car since my parents didn’t recognize the new car and knew it wasn’t friend A driving yet assumed it was indeed friend B but since I didn’t mention that they took all the money I had in my account which was only 30 dollars but it was what I needed to get my nails and hair gloss and hair spray for prom, I just started breaking down in the middle of target. I was so excited to get my stick on nails etc since I couldn’t afford to get the acrylics since I was paying for all my prom stuff for the most part. By the way I know that the 10 dollars was initially there so I understand taking away that but the other 20 I made selling my clothes on mercari and I had nothing else like no other cash nothing that was the money I worked on to get my prom stuff. It was mostly my dad actually that got mad at this point taking my money etc and than following a got a text from my mom saying I got what I was coming for by acting the way I have been. There were 3 others with me while I was at target so having three of my friends see me breakdown from me only having 14 cents left in my account was so humiliating. I ended up looking great at prom neither less so don’t even worry about that, my hair looked great and I found some old stick-ons in my laundry room and painted them white lol a couple of them popped off during prom but whatever. This has been really long and thanks to whoever spent their time reading through all of this I’m sorry if the read is a bit of a struggle but I just don’t know what to think or do of this situation. Keep in mind I’m 18 now, never have had a boyfriend, never have do anything, kissed, even held hands romantically etc. it’s one thing you know to not care about any of that but the thing is I do and I want to experience being a teenager and going out and going on dates and not worry about my mom flipping out on one of my friends. While we were in Italy one of the tour guys told her to move on the bus to make more room for others and she started cussing him out telling him to f himself etc for telling her a paying customer where to sit. Everyone started staring at us. I did not want to be there. I just kept my head down the entire time and didn’t really talk to my mom out of embarrassment for the next two days. Also after that prom incident I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere after as a result of go to friend B's birthday bash the next day so my mom texted her without my knowledge and told her not to tell me about how I’ve been acting up and one day I’ll learn when I’m her age but it will be too late and that I don’t know what I’m doing and finishing off my apologizing on my part for my behavior and I’m the reason why I can’t go to her party. Which I find so infuriating because one of the main reasons why I don’t tell my mom anything about my personal life is because I simply don’t want her to have that control of knowing what my life is like, I probably tell the teacher I TA for more than my own biological mother. The fact that she preached family issues in the family so heavily and that you should never talk about issues to others yet goes behind my back and tells my friend that my indecent behavior is the reason why I can’t go is so beyond me because where did your ideals go that you preached so heavily about. Every time I’m around my mom especially when she has her flares of anger I just start shaking like you know when you drink something with a lot of caffeine in the morning and you don’t eat anything so mid way through the day you just start getting jittery and anxious, kind of like that. Ok I think I’m done anyway thank you for tuning in cause I really have to start studying for human geo, thanks for reading up until here 🙂.

Raising Money to Help Thailand Dogs Outside of the Usual Tourist Areas

I think I’ve found my calling in life – helping the alone and abandoned street dogs of Thailand.
It’s well known that there’s stray dogs all over Thailand – known as Soi Dogs. In the tourist areas such as Bangkok, Phuket, Koh Samui etc – some of these dogs get lucky and are taken care of by one of the great charities operating in these areas.
However, since moving to a more rural area of Thailand, Huai Krot, I’ve noticed the dogs here seem to have it a lot harder. There’s no charities to take care of them and no tourists looking out for them. The vast majority of the Thai general public have their own concerns and worries and don’t see that taking care of the dogs (and cats, birds etc) is important or should concern them.
Dogs here, for the most part, get treated like pests, almost the same as rats and pigeons etc. They’re hit, kicked, have rocks thrown at them, cars hit them and don’t stop. A lot of them have skin problems or more serious injuries and very people try to help them. They’re also hungry and rarely have access to clean water.
There are some good people here who try to help and feed the dogs out of their own pocket, but when you are struggling to feed yourself and your family, the help you can offer the dogs becomes quite limited.
Since the start of this year I’ve been trying to do as much as I can for the dogs in my local area. I provide as much food and water as I can and I’ve already garnered a bit of a reputation for being “that farang who helps the dogs”. I very much enjoy doing it and I love to see the difference in the timid dogs after you’ve fed them a few times.
However what I’ve been able to do is just a drop in the ocean compared to how many dogs here need some help. I’ve talked about doing something properly for quite a while now – and I think there’s no better time than now to get started helping the dogs of Huai Krot and the wider area.
I’ve also seen some dogs in pretty horrendous states including a dog that had been savaged by a pack of other dogs and had its rear left leg almost ripped off. Helping this dog was well out of my scope – but I hope in the future I will be able to help every dog that needs it.
The eventual goal would be to have a proper facility for homing and taking care of any local dogs that need it. But to get started I’m going to concentrate on feeding, watering and providing medicine and medical care for as many dogs as possible. We are trying to raise £5000 to pay for the following;
· £2000 for food and water supplies including bowls
· £2000 for medicines – primarily Bravecto – for helping with Mange which is very prevalent around here. This would also include Tick and Flea medicines/collars
· £600 for a Motorbike with Sidecar for transporting large amounts of food – and also for transporting dogs to the vet when needs arise
· £400 – the remaining £400 would be kept in reserve for any unplanned emergencies or unexpected costs etc
I am jumping into the deep end here. I just want to help the dogs living around here as they are out of reach of most of the major charities and seem forgotten about. This is just the beginning with the end goal eventually being that we are able to open a facility to not only help dogs but home them as well. This is far down the line though and we need to start somewhere. So making sure as many dogs as possible are getting regular food and water and have access to medications to improve their quality of life would be a good place to start.
Hopefully some people feel the same and will be able to help us on this journey.
Thanks for reading
Sean Wilson
Huai Krot Hounds
If anyone would like to donate please message me and I'll give you the donation link. Thank you

I don’t think I’m in the wrong here but alas.
My (22F), mom (44F) and brother (21M) have an odd thing with feces. For instance: my brother lets our dog shit in his bed and will let the shit calcify there for a full week, my mom sends him pictures every day of our dogs shitting, etc. I think it’s strange but it doesn’t really affect me beyond this so I leave them be.
However, about a year ago, my mom, dad, brother, and I went on a hike where my mother lost the plot entirely. We are about about 2 miles through climbing this canyon with 4 hours to go when one of the dogs poops. My mom picks up the poop in a doggie bag and all is well.
I don’t recall how, but my brother and mom got into a minor argument about something. When I say minor argument, I REALLY mean minor. These people are two brick walls who can never be wrong about anything ever. They just take turns gaslighting each other until the situation escalates.
The situation escalated.
My brother proceeded to walk a bit ahead with the dog (I think my mom was irritated he was walking the dog but not holding the poop bag). He is a good ways ahead of her when she proceeds to chuck the bag straight at the back of his head- and misses. My brother is laughing hysterically, I’m laughing, my dad is just trying to enjoy the brilliant desert scenery of the garbage wasteland that is our state. This alone would have been fine.
But it didn’t stop there. For the next mile and a half, my mom proceeded to chuck the bag and hit the center target of the bald spot on my brother’s head with that bag of dog shit. This happened continuously, from a long-range, multiple times.
I’m getting irritated now because I have to sit next to him on the car ride back, and that bag is inevitably going to burst after being knocked around the rocks every time it slops off his head. I tell them this. They keep fucking around.
My mom proceeds to throw again, she hits his head, it EXPLODES. My dad’s pissed, I’m pissed, my brother’s pissed, my mom is about to piss from how hard she’s laughing. We walk the remaining miles in silence (save for my mom laughing) with that dog shit baking on the epicenter of my brother’s dome in the 100 degree heat. My mom had to sit by my brother as penance but the smell was horrific.
Now the issue: I STILL would not be opposed to hiking with my mom and my brother if I believed this was just a one time joke that got out of hand, but see I don’t think it is. My mom openly brags about her aim using that story as an example, and I’ve been telling her after that “I am never gonna hike with yall if u ever do that again,” and she just laughs and talks about how great her aim was.
So now my dad wants to do a family hike. I politely declined. To be clear, I am not pissed off or bitter, the incident makes me laugh seeing as how my brother thought it was funny and my mom didn’t do it out of malice or anything, I just personally don’t want to deal with any of their fuck ass shenanigans while hiking through the fuck ass desert in the name of family bonding. I am content to hear the stories from after if the hike involves someone getting sniper blasted in the dome with feces.
My mom thinks this is unacceptable because hiking is our “family activity.” I told her if she promises to not mishandle shit on this hike I’d come. She proceeds to tell me that I “can’t take a joke” and she “might do it again…you never know.” ???!
So my mom thinks I’m an asshole who’s averse to spending time with my family. My brother just thinks I’m an asshole for leaving him to hike with our parents alone. My dad thinks this is justified and might get my mom to behave. I think I’m an adult and I perchance am not attending an event in which I might contract a venereal disease from the airborne shit particles of my perv ass dog. But this whole situation is unfathomably moronic so what do y’all think?
(Feel free to act out, I would LOVE to show them this lol)

It wasn’t always bad. The first 4 years were pretty good. The occasional fight or spat, then we had our first kid and there was this weird subtle shift. Barely noticeable, but definitely there. I was dealing with being a new mom, fell into a pretty bad postpartum anxiety, to the point I had to quit my job because it had gotten so bad. He started coming home from work then sitting in the garage for hours or leaving the house at odd times. It took me 2 years to figure out that what he was doing in the garage was smoking meth. Leaving to buy meth and to meet up with other people because according to him I wasn’t satisfying him. But how was I to know that you can’t actually satisfy a meth addict, something about the high. I don’t know I’ve never done it.
Anyway, I forgave him and tried to help him with his addiction. Tried everything I could think of short of having him committed to a rehab facility involuntarily… which I don’t think I can do without a court order. I lasted 8 months doing this before I couldn’t do it anymore, but then I found out I was pregnant, weirdly I was on birth control…fun. I feel like I need to add here that although our second baby was a bit of a surprise she was very much a wanted baby… a baby I had planned to try for 4 months after I actually got pregnant and only if things had calmed down. Oh and I had also started working again 6 months prior.
Well things got worse, so much worse. 7 months into my pregnancy I found out that he had been having an affair with some girl 12 years his junior who he wanted to move into my house with our children and be in a relationship with this person and I was supposed to just accept it. On top of that I also figured out he was sleeping with multiple other people…While in a panic, I had a moment of clarity and I ran to my OB and had them run every possible STD test out there. And positive it came back. Thankfully it was bacterial, caught in time and my doctor was able to treat it and get rid of it with a round of antibiotics.
That was it for me. I ended it. 7 months pregnant with a toddler and single… super excited. I wish I could say things got better after that. But, as so often happens, things got worse. Now I was being threatened to be beat up by his girlfriend. I was so deeply depressed I was hardly eating anything. When the baby came (during the beginning of Covid lockdown, by the way), he slept while I labored, was visibly high while I gave birth and stayed exactly 1 hour after she was born and then took off and didn’t come back until it was time for us to go home. And only then he only came back because he had my car with the car seat and I begged him to come get us after he suggested my sister pick us up.
And yet, I was so embarrassed about the whole situation blaming myself entirely for all of it. After all I chose him. No one knew what was happening. No one knew of the cheating, the meth, that sweet little letter he wrote me to convince me to bring his girlfriend to live with us. His threats of suicide and self harm. Nothing. And then one night 2 years later I decided I needed to start dating and so I did… bad idea… it lasted 2 months before he hacked into my phone. My email, my everything and was watching my every move. I figured it out one night when my phone stopped working and I went to my provider to find out what was going on. They let me know someone had cloned my sim and had access to all my personal accounts… they showed me the number that had my sim… it was his phone… his excuse when I confronted him? “I had to know where my children were” mind you I had never lied to him or kept the kids from him, matter of fact I went out of my way to tell him where we were and how long we’d be. I moved out that night. I went to the house grabbed all essentials for the kids and myself and anything else I could possibly fit in my small SUV asked my parents if I could stay with them and never looked back.
Three months later I found a tracking device in my car. I now have a permanent restraining order against the guy and he’s worked himself out of having both physical and legal custody of the kids.
All that to say that in the 4 years since I left him, I’ve tried to date several times… and… I can’t seem to stay with it. I’m afraid of everything. I’m afraid of being hurt again. I’m afraid of someone hurting my children, not that they ever even meet them. I’m afraid of ending in the same place I am now. I’m afraid of putting that much effort into someone again. I don’t know how to make the fear disappear. I don’t know how to let anyone in again. I’ve tried therapy, I’ve tried just jumping into it and nothing. I end up running for the hills.
I’m not saying I need to be in a relationship, but it would be nice to not feel so afraid of it. So stuck in this bad place that I can’t open up to the even the possibility of it.

I’m getting tired of feeling trapped in my house and feeling like I have no identity outside of this home and with my family. I want to have real fun and experience the joys that your 20s provide but I feel stifled at home. I can’t leave when I want to bc of having one car, there is never a time to unwind alone bc someone is always there whether it be my sibling or my parents. I’ve grown steadily frustrated over time and just want a space to call my own. I have the whole summer to make changes and I just wanna know where to start and what moves I should make now if I wanna secure a place to rent in the future. What should I prepare for? How much money should I save up? I just need all the advice I can. I’ve come to a point where I am just so over being hindered to just be on my own.

I’ve been with my husband for 2 years now, married 6 months. I caught him out in a lie last weekend and it’s unravelled so many things. So many times that I thought that what he was saying was strange, or seemed far-fetched all make sense now. The lies aren’t even big or to hide something that would hurt someone’s feelings, it’s just small stuff but the lie is what makes it huge for me.

It’s clear now that he’s a compulsive liar and I don’t know if I want to go forward with the marriage, or if there’s even any point. Can a compulsive liar ever really change?

I’ll give a couple of examples to provide a bit of context:

EXAMPLE 1
May 2022 - When we met he in May 2022, he told me he had tried to kill himself in a car crash when he was 19, that it was a split second decision and to never tell his parents because it would crush them. I dutifully kept his secret.
11 May 2024 - I found out that there was someone else in the car from an offhand comment made by one of his parents. When I asked him later why he had lied about it, he said that he didn’t remember the crash, has no memories before or for a while after. I asked why he would try to kill himself with someone else in the car. He maintained that “it was a bit about killing myself”, before restating that he had no memory and “I don’t know what to tell you”. Very defensive, yelling and crying.
14 May 2024 - I asked him again, saying that either he has lied to me since we met, or he tried to take someone else out with him. He said he didn’t remember but that he thought it was suicide because he was so deeply unhappy at that time in his life. I said “so you tried to take your girlfriend out with you? Because that’s murder”. He then said he didnt know the real reason. I then asked why he would definitively tell me it was a suicide attempt if he didn’t know the real reason. He couldn’t tell me. I then asked why he seemed to remember specifics when I asked him at the start of the relationship (“I was driving home from dads after dinner, it was a split second decision”) but now couldn’t even tell me if it was an accident or suicide. Admitted that it was silly to claim suicide attempt, but still didnt admit to lying.

EXAMPLE 2
December 2023, - I received a black sapphire bracelet from my mum for Christmas. Boxing Day, he told me that “oh black sapphire! it’s just like the ring mum got you”. I asked him what he was talking about, and he said he didn't know. I said “no, your mum got me emerald earrings”. He said “ah yes that’s what I must have been thinking about”. I knew something was up but I left it at that because we were at family's house.
Later I asked him directly if his mum had given a black sapphire ring to his ex. He said no, he was just confused about the earrings. I said I wouldn’t care, but that I don't want to be lied to. He said no, he was just confused.
Two weeks later his mum was on the phone on speaker (she didn't realise she was on speaker) and she said “I’ve asked for that sapphire ring back from [ex] and given it to [sisterin law]”. I told him “I fucking knew it, why did you lie to me?” He said he didn't remember and that he genuinely got confused, and that he was “an idiot” for not remembering. I told him I’d be far more upset about being lied to than I would about a gift your mum gave to someone before we met. He said “I know, and that’s why I’m not lying to you!”
14 May 2024, I brought this issue up again in the context of the other lies. The conversation went like this:
Me: Why did you lie to me about that, even when your mum mentioned it?
Him: I already told you, I got confused, I totally forgot
Me: How did you forget when I asked you directly, with specifics? I asked you “Did your mum give a black sapphire ring to [ex’s name]” and you told me no.
Him: I got my wires crossed, I was talking about the earrings
Me: but you specifically mentioned a black sapphire ring, which was exactly what it was.
Him: I don’t remember who she gave it to.
Me: So you do remember there was a ring… then why didn’t it jog your memory when I asked you directly?
Him: I already apologised for this, we’ve been through this
Me: What? No, after your mum got off the phone, you told me again that you’d forgot about it and you couldn’t remember anything about it.
Him: Yeah, after the phone call with mum - we had a conversation the next day which I vividly remember where I told you I lied so as not to hurt your feelings.
I have no recollection of this conversation, but it would directly contradict claims he made seconds prior about ‘getting his wires crossed’, thinking it was about my earrings, and having no memory of it. When I asked why he had contradicted himself, he said he didn’t understand.

There are actually many more examples like this, and I can provide them if more info is needed. But over and over again, I’ve told him that I can handle the truth, but begged him not to lie to me. I caught him out in a lie in the first couple of months of us dating. When he said it was to protect my feelings, I told him that I would rather the truth than a lie from him. He promised never to lie to me again.

Over the last couple of years, he has sent me texts like:
“I felt absolutely stupid and embarrassed when I lied to you ages ago. And I told you it will not happen again. And it hasn’t.”
“I don’t lie to you”
“I’m so glad I have you. I can be my true self with you. I love the complete openness and honesty in our relationship. All we want is the best for one another”
”I asked myself something last night about us. Just in quiet reflection. Would I tell you everything and anything even if it would upset you? Like would I even make up little white lies to avoid anything crappy and I was like nah. I am cellophane with you. But frosted glass with everyone else”
“I love you so much. I promise to tell you everything and always devote myself to you”
He has repeatedly told me that he would never lie to me as “you know everything anyway, do you think I could lie to you?”

When faced with all of the above, he admits that he's got a problem with lying and says he’s turned a new leaf, that he knows what he needs to do, and that from now on it will be complete honesty. But in light of everything, how do I know that this is the truth, and not another lie?? All of my trust in him has gone, along with any respect I had for him. Everything he's saying to me just feels like lip service.

Tl;dr – husband is a compulsive liar. Can I believe him when he says he will change?

I’ve been with my husband for 2 years now, married 6 months. I caught him out in a lie last weekend and it’s unravelled so many things. So many times that I thought that what he was saying was strange, or seemed far-fetched all make sense now. The lies aren’t even big or to hide something that would hurt someone’s feelings, it’s just small stuff but the lie is what makes it huge for me.

It’s clear now that he’s a compulsive liar and I don’t know if I want to go forward with the marriage, or if there’s even any point. Can a compulsive liar ever really change?

I’ll give a couple of examples to provide a bit of context:

EXAMPLE 1
May 2022 - When we met he in May 2022, he told me he had tried to kill himself, that it was a split second decision and to never tell his parents because it would crush them. I dutifully kept his secret.
11 May 2024 - I found out that there was someone else in the car from an offhand comment made by one of his parents. When I asked him laterwhy he had lied about it, he said that he didn’t remember the crash, has no memories before or for a while after. I asked why he would try to kill himself with someone else in the car. He maintained that “it was a bit about killing myself”, before restating that he had no memory and “I don’t know what to tell you”. Very defensive, yelling and crying.
14 May 2024 - I asked him again, saying that either he has lied to me since we met, or he tried to take someone else out with him. He said he didn’t remember but that he thought it was suicide because he was so deeply unhappy at that time in his life. I said “so you tried to take your girlfriend out with you? Because that’s murder”. He then said he didnt know the real reason. I then asked why he would definitively tell me it was a suicide attempt if he didn’t know the real reason. He couldn’t tell me. I then asked why he seemed to remember specifics when I asked him at the start of the relationship (“I was driving home from dads after dinner, it was a split second decision”) but now couldn’t even tell me if it was an accident or suicide. Admitted that it was silly to claim suicide attempt, but still didnt admit to lying.

EXAMPLE 2
December 2023, - I received a black sapphire bracelet from my mum for Christmas. Boxing Day, he told me that “oh black sapphire! it’s just like the ring mum got you”. I asked him what he was talking about, and he said he didn't know. I said “no, your mum got me emerald earrings”. He said “ah yes that’s what I must have been thinking about”. I knew something was up but I left it at that because we were at family's house.
Later I asked him directly if his mum had given a black sapphire ring to his ex. He said no, he was just confused about the earrings. I said I wouldn’t care, but that I don't want to be lied to. He said no, he was just confused.
Two weeks later his mum was on the phone on speaker (she didn't realise she was on speaker) and she said “I’ve asked for that sapphire ring back from [ex] and given it to [sisterin law]”. I told him “I fucking knew it, why did you lie to me?” He said he didn't remember and that he genuinely got confused, and that he was “an idiot” for not remembering. I told him I’d be far more upset about being lied to than I would about a gift your mum gave to someone before we met. He said “I know, and that’s why I’m not lying to you!”
14 May 2024, I brought this issue up again in the context of the other lies. The conversation went like this:
Me: Why did you lie to me about that, even when your mum mentioned it?
Him: I already told you, I got confused, I totally forgot
Me: How did you forget when I asked you directly, with specifics? I asked you “Did your mum give a black sapphire ring to [ex’s name]” and you told me no.
Him: I got my wires crossed, I was talking about the earrings
Me: but you specifically mentioned a black sapphire ring, which was exactly what it was.
Him: I don’t remember who she gave it to.
Me: So you do remember there was a ring… then why didn’t it jog your memory when I asked you directly?
Him: I already apologised for this, we’ve been through this
Me: What? No, after your mum got off the phone, you told me again that you’d forgot about it and you couldn’t remember anything about it.
Him: Yeah, after the phone call with mum - we had a conversation the next day which I vividly remember where I told you I lied so as not to hurt your feelings.
I have no recollection of this conversation, but it would directly contradict claims he made seconds prior about ‘getting his wires crossed’, thinking it was about my earrings, and having no memory of it. When I asked why he had contradicted himself, he said he didn’t understand.

There are actually many more examples like this, and I can provide them if more info is needed. But over and over again, I’ve told him that I can handle the truth, but begged him not to lie to me. I caught him out in a lie in the first couple of months of us dating. When he said it was to protect my feelings, I told him that I would rather the truth than a lie from him. He promised never to lie to me again.

Over the last couple of years, he has sent me texts like:
“I felt absolutely stupid and embarrassed when I lied to you ages ago. And I told you it will not happen again. And it hasn’t.”
“I don’t lie to you”
“I’m so glad I have you. I can be my true self with you. I love the complete openness and honesty in our relationship. All we want is the best for one another”
”I asked myself something last night about us. Just in quiet reflection. Would I tell you everything and anything even if it would upset you? Like would I even make up little white lies to avoid anything crappy and I was like nah. I am cellophane with you. But frosted glass with everyone else”
“I love you so much. I promise to tell you everything and always devote myself to you”
He has repeatedly told me that he would never lie to me as “you know everything anyway, do you think I could lie to you?”

When faced with all of the above, he admits that he's got a problem with lying and says he’s turned a new leaf, that he knows what he needs to do, and that from now on it will be complete honesty. But in light of everything, how do I know that this is the truth, and not another lie?? All of my trust in him has gone, along with any respect I had for him. Everything he's saying to me just feels like lip service.
tl;dr - husband is a compulsive liar. Can I believe him when he says he will change?

It wasn’t always bad. The first 4 years were pretty good. The occasional fight or spat, then we had our first kid and there was this weird subtle shift. Barely noticeable, but definitely there. I was dealing with being a new mom, fell into a pretty bad postpartum anxiety, to the point I had to quit my job because it had gotten so bad. He started coming home from work then sitting in the garage for hours or leaving the house at odd times. It took me 2 years to figure out that what he was doing in the garage was smoking meth. Leaving to buy meth and to meet up with other people because according to him I wasn’t satisfying him. But how was I to know that you can’t actually satisfy a meth addict, something about the high. I don’t know I’ve never done it.
Anyway, I forgave him and tried to help him with his addiction. Tried everything I could think of short of having him committed to a rehab facility involuntarily… which I don’t think I can do without a court order. I lasted 8 months doing this before I couldn’t do it anymore, but then I found out I was pregnant, weirdly I was on birth control…fun. I feel like I need to add here that although our second baby was a bit of a surprise she was very much a wanted baby… a baby I had planned to try for 4 months after I actually got pregnant and only if things had calmed down. Oh and I had also started working again 6 months prior.
Well things got worse, so much worse. 7 months into my pregnancy I found out that he had been having an affair with some girl 12 years his junior who he wanted to move into my house with our children and be in a relationship with this person and I was supposed to just accept it. On top of that I also figured out he was sleeping with multiple other people…While in a panic, I had a moment of clarity and I ran to my OB and had them run every possible STD test out there. And positive it came back. Thankfully it was bacterial, caught in time and my doctor was able to treat it and get rid of it with a round of antibiotics.
That was it for me. I ended it. 7 months pregnant with a toddler and single… super excited. I wish I could say things got better after that. But, as so often happens, things got worse. Now I was being threatened to be beat up by his girlfriend. I was so deeply depressed I was hardly eating anything. When the baby came (during the beginning of Covid lockdown, by the way), he slept while I labored, was visibly high while I gave birth and stayed exactly 1 hour after she was born and then took off and didn’t come back until it was time for us to go home. And only then he only came back because he had my car with the car seat and I begged him to come get us after he suggested my sister pick us up.
And yet, I was so embarrassed about the whole situation blaming myself entirely for all of it. After all I chose him. No one knew what was happening. No one knew of the cheating, the meth, that sweet little letter he wrote me to convince me to bring his girlfriend to live with us. His threats of suicide and self harm. Nothing. And then one night 2 years later I decided I needed to start dating and so I did… bad idea… it lasted 2 months before he hacked into my phone. My email, my everything and was watching my every move. I figured it out one night when my phone stopped working and I went to my provider to find out what was going on. They let me know someone had cloned my sim and had access to all my personal accounts… they showed me the number that had my sim… it was his phone… his excuse when I confronted him? “I had to know where my children were” mind you I had never lied to him or kept the kids from him, matter of fact I went out of my way to tell him where we were and how long we’d be. I moved out that night. I went to the house grabbed all essentials for the kids and myself and anything else I could possibly fit in my small SUV asked my parents if I could stay with them and never looked back.
Three months later I found a tracking device in my car. I now have a permanent restraining order against the guy and he’s worked himself out of having both physical and legal custody of the kids.
All that to say that in the 4 years since I left him, I’ve tried to date several times… and… I can’t seem to stay with it. I’m afraid of everything. I’m afraid of being hurt again. I’m afraid of someone hurting my children, not that they ever even meet them. I’m afraid of ending in the same place I am now. I’m afraid of putting that much effort into someone again. I don’t know how to make the fear disappear. I don’t know how to let anyone in again. I’ve tried therapy, I’ve tried just jumping into it and nothing. I end up running for the hills.
I’m not saying I need to be in a relationship, but it would be nice to not feel so afraid of it. So stuck in this bad place that I can’t open up to the even the possibility of it.

Well, Hi all! again! 4Th Wall here, I figured since I just got power back, I might as well play some catch up on both series. Hope you enjoy this episode!!
Yup, I fucked that up. This is a repost with the correct Episode number, LOL! It's been a while since I've done that.
First, Previous, Next (Patreon)
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Benjamin smiled, watching the girls skip ahead of him. Today was a testing day of sorts for him. Unwilling to release firearms into this world haphazardly, yet unwilling to go without them as a backup; he had pulled from one of his sister’s favorite video games. He had “melted down” his bowie knife, repurposing the metal to be used in his latest creation. The final product rode on his hip like a short sword, but Ben was satisfied in the design when the vast majority of the people he passed ignored it as just another adventurer’s blade. Benjamin hoped, that with the existence of Majik, that he would be able to pass off any… peculiarities... as the realm of the supernatural.

The three of them arrived at the tailor’s establishment, and the girls were met with a customary indifference that seemed to present itself when a slave’s “master” was present. The moment Benjamin entered, the seamstress ceased to pay attention to the girls, and instead addressed him directly, “Ah, The Forgemaster’s Protégé. What can I do for you this day.” She said cooly, bowing slightly in welcome. “I’m here commission some clothing for these two, a reward for good service.” Benjamin began. It was technically true; the success of the forge had afforded him much more coin than a mere apprentice could have made. Qort had taken him on as a true partner, and Benjamin earned enough to comfortably afford to cloth his “slaves” in whatever he chose.

Some stigma’s remained however, and the seamstress seemed to glare sideways at the girls as they perused the fabrics adorning the walls. “Is that wise? A slave could lose her place with such gifts.” she asked, her polite tone barely hiding her disapproval. Benjamin sighed internally, ‘oh for fucks sake’ he groaned in his own mind before putting on facad, “I find that proper reward, afforded on the right servant can result in” he paused, projecting a smug expression and blatantly looking the girls up and down. “a profound dedication to their duties” he finished with a satisfied smile as the seamstress covered her mouth with a hand to hide a smile of her own. The gambit worked, and the Seamstress was obviously satisfied that the “Aereesen slave whores” were being properly “used”. “Ah, I understand. What did you have in mind for them.” She practically moaned back at Benjamin. ‘This hag needs a good pounding….’ Benjamin’s inner monologue threatened to crack his facade, “That’s the fun part, my good lady. It’s their choice. The surprise is half the excitement.” He chuckled.

The seamstress openly smiled at him this time before nodding and stepping over to the two girls. Benjamin breathed a sigh of relief as she seemed to treat them at least marginally more warmly. The old racist bag didn’t need to know that Benjamin was secretly building a small nest egg for his girls, or that his sending them out to do errands for him was how he was teaching them about money, value, and the application of Mathematics. She also didn’t need to know that the full Cutlery set that she had purchased last week had been made by Vi’s own hand as her first full solo commission set. Benjamin had stamped his “mark” on them, because slaves were not allowed to own anything, including their own work; but Vi had begun with raw steel and finished with one of the finest cooking knife sets he had seen in this world or his.

Benjamin settled onto a bench outside, using the excuse of wanting to enjoy the morning air to afford his girls some privacy. Now that Viola and Valtrya were eating a healthy diet, and the right calorie amount; they had blossomed into absolute bombshells. Their hair had recovered, and both sported long flowing locks that boasted a silky satin black color and texture that betrayed hints of deep royal purple. The color reminded Benjamin of one of those expensive custom car paints that changed color depending on the lighting.

Their skin recovered almost as quickly as their hair. The sickly, scabbed look was quickly replaced with the same satin quality as their hair to the touch, but with a light grey coloring that almost seemed to tease the edge of hinting at a greyish purple. A dense pattern of Small freckles of the same dark, almost royal, purple as the highlights in their hair frolicked on both girl’s cheeks, and down the sides of their necks. Because of their early lack of understanding on modestly, Ben knew that those freckles traveled much further. The sad truth was that Benjamin understood fully why Aereesen’s were the prize of slavers and brothels, and he silently prayed that he could give them enough self-worth and skill to have a better life than that, once he got them out of the Principality.

A door’s soft creaking broke Benjamin from his thoughts as the two sisters stepped out smiling, “Get everything you need?” he asked standing as the three of them departed the establishment. Val nodded vigorously, and Vi smiled as she spoke, “I think so, but I had to practically beg the woman to stop showing us lingerie… what did you tell her?” Benjamin felt his cheeks heat as he responded, “What I had to. The old hag doesn’t get enough at home. It’s not my fault that your ‘enthusiasm’ is in the forge and your studies, not between the sheets. I didn’t lie to her, I just let her draw her own conclusions, sorry.”

Vi’s eyes twinkled for a second, “Oh,” She smirked, “Thaaat’s why she broke out the silk. Some of her options were..” She blatantly bit her lip at Benjamin. “You didn’t…” He asked in shock, and Vi lifted up on her tippy toes to brush her lips against his ear, “Not telling” she purred, setting Bens senses on fire. She backed up a step, openly smirking at his beet red face. “But your expression is adorable… My Lord” She stated the last two words with a deep sultry tone, knowing that Ben couldn’t scold her in public before taking his hand, “May we visit the bazar next? Val saw some jewelry she wanted to look at.” Benjamin gave her a pointed look, that turned into a smile as she beamed at him, “Ok, sounds good. I need to pick up some food for the week.”

It was later that afternoon when the three of them left the bazar. They found Jukha waiting on the bench in front of their home. “Jukha! How are you!” Benjamin called, clasping the Orc’s hand firmly as the girls rushed inside to put up their purchases. Jukha reciprocated, if somewhat stiffly, to the strange to him gesture. “Benjamin, it is good to see you well.” His tone stopped Ben in his tracks, “What is it. Is your wife, ok?”
Jukha shook his head, “Vilora is well, but I have been tasked with finding you.” He said carefully, “The slaver, the one you dueled for those two,” he nodded to Vi and Val as they stepped back out of the building, “The Heir of The Romoregin house is here. He has lodged an official demand for satisfaction, and he brought a champion.”

Benjamin stiffened, “Another duel? You said an ‘official demand’… what happens if I refuse.” Jukha winced at Ben’s tone, “It is an archaic practice of my people, rarely remembered, and even more rarely demanded. You cannot deny a satisfaction claim, but should you prevail, no further claims can be made upon your person. I am sorry Benjamin, but if you flee or refuse, your life is forfeit; and your property goes to the claimant.” Jukha looked pointedly at Viola and Valtrya. “The young puke has put me in danger as well, if I do not deliver you and them to the duel, I can be detained. If they torture me….” Benjamin’s eyes widened before hardening in understanding. “Jukha…” He turned to find Viola standing next to him, with his musket in one arm and his ammunition bag in the other, and sighed, “Fuck”. He loaded his musket with a single roundball cartridge this time, unwilling to fire buck and ball in the town streets. He pealed the ball out of the paper wading after pouring the poweder, reaching into his haversack to retrieve a small round patch made of pillow ticking. Jukha looked on in mild fascination as Benjamin spit on the cloth patch before wrapping the ball in it and ramming the whole thing down the barrel. It wasn’t much, but it reduce windage, ensuring at least reasonable enough accuracy from the smoothbore to keep from hitting innocent bystanders. It would also virtually eliminate blow-by, upping the chamber pressure and giving him a little more velocity. “I’m ready.”

The four of them entered the small city square to be met with Qort and three Org guards. These soldiers wore different insignia that Benjamin had been taught were the mark of the capital. “Beenjaymen Shayfe” one of them butchered his name, “I am.” Ben nodded firmly, the other guard nodded, “And your two slaves, good. Has Jukha informed you of the proceedings.” Benjamin scowled, “A legalized way to attempt a revenge killing? Yea, I’ve been told.” Ben didn’t bother to hide his vitriol, “So I have to kill a motherfucker for defending myself from his father?”

“Not quite. The Heir has brought a champion. The rules are simple, all forms of combat are allowed” The first guard began as the second one began chaining the wrists of Viola and Valtrya. Benjamin began to move before thinking, only to be held back by Jukha, “Peace albino. They must do this. Fighting them will cause a forfeit.” Benjamin looked at the terrified faces of the two girls. He forced himself to calm down outwardly, but Benjamin could feel the rage building. He had worked so hard to save those two, to get them out.. now some snot nosed brat was going to try to kill him because his father didn’t know when to fuck off. Benjamin stepped out from around the guards. The “heir” was a young Durr. Ben had no frame of reference for age, but the Heir was substantially shorter, and his facial tentacles were almost mere buds. Beside him stood a crimson colossus, the same species as the Hunter he had shot saving Jukha. He was taller than that female, and was wearing plate armor, gilded in silver. He hefted a great sword of some kind and smiled openly at Benjamin. It was not a pleasant expression. “Ah, so You’re the puke I’ll be cleaning from my blade. I am Krastorin. Come here, pale one, I’ll make it quick.”

Benjamin looked him over, subtly shifting into a shooting stance but keeping his musket looking like he was resting the butt of a spear on the ground. “You look accomplished, what makes you do the bidding of the boy.” He asked, blatant scorn on his tone. The Young Durr flinched, his small tentacle buds writhing violently. “H’Dare Yee!” he bellowed, voice cracking with the strain of fury, “Aye’ll ‘ave Yee Head on Me’Wall!!”
Benjamin ignored him, focusing on the Hellirine. The man looked back at the boy with a raised eyebrow, “The young puke promised me one of those.” He pointed at Vi and Val, who had reverted to their former trembling submissive postures that Ben had met them in. “It appears that they are as well kept as claimed. I look forward to sampling them.” He leered. Benjamin looked over at the Young Durr and found his face a mixture of relief and anger. ‘Ah, lied about daddy’s slaves.’ He turned to the soldier standing next to him, “Is the duel on?” he growled.

“Combatants! Begin!” was the Soldiers response, and the crimson mercenary lifted his sword from his shoulders advancing forward with a long confident stride, “at last, let’s get this over wi..” a clap of thunder echo’d through the Feral wood, and most of the crowd cried out in surprise as Benjamin disappeared, seemingly behind a bubble of fire, and brimstone. The single round ball ignored the mercenary’s plate armor. Punching straight through as the soft lead mushroomed out into a ragged disk that measured almost an inch and a half. The mangled projectile, still travelling at almost half the speed of sound, eviscerated the chest cavity of the Mercenary before blowing a one foot wide hole out of the crimson man’s back. The exit wound missed Krastorin’s spine by an inch, but it didn’t matter. The projectile embedded itself into a post, thankfully missing any bystanders by mere inches in some cases. The Young Durr, who was standing just behind and to the side of his champion, was screaming as he pawed at the bits of pale yellow blood, bones, and fragments of internal organs now covering him from head to toe.

Benjamin handed the smoking musket to Jukha, drawing his short sword and walking over to a sputtering, choking, and coughing Krastorin. The Hellirine lay face down on the ground, having fallen that way from the momentum of his initial advance. The back of Benjamins mind was sickly amused as he remembered the old Hollywood trope of bullets throwing people backward, and a pinch of regret sparked in his soul as his opponent death rattled. He stepped up to the Heir, resting the blade against his neck, “Are we done here. Be a better man than your father and learn when to save your own life.” The Young Durr froze, staring up at him in abject terror for several moments as a puddle formed at his feet. Benjamin opened his mouth to speak again when the boy simply passed out, falling into the puddle of his own mess as his mind refused to stay conscious.

Benjamin turned to walk back towards Jukha and the girls. “Unchain them.” Benjamin’s tone could have frozen a raging forge’s inferno. To his surprise, two of the soldiers drew their weapons on him, “You need to come with us. All Touched must be registered with...” Benjamin pointed his short sword at the one talking… and pulled the trigger. The percussion revolver built into the hilt of the short sword was zero’d using a notch Benjamin cut into the crossguard, and the tip of the curved blade as a crude set of open sights. The barrel of the revolver lay along one side of the blade, and was rifled. The speaking soldier orc’s took the smaller pistol round through the forehead, exploding the back of his skull in a cone of dark green and grey mist. The exit wound showered his companion in bits of bone and brains. Benjamin’s thumb found the hammer, and four satisfying clicks echo’d in the stunned silence, “HEAR ME!” He growled, “I, am touched by the Gods. I posses the power to end any life I choose using the power of Hell itself!” ‘if I have to show them a gun, might as well throw them off the trail’ “The violence of the raging volcano obeys my very fingertips.” His revolvesword bucked a second time as another soldier orc made a move to rush him. The smaller pistol round still punched through the orcs armor and out the back, but only left him screaming on the ground. Benjamin re-cocked, and leveled his weapon at the orc holding the chains to Val and Vi. “Now, release them.” This last remaining Orc did as asked, before gathering up his screaming companion as the girls rushed to Benjamin, he pulled them close, whispering, “I’m sorry we wont be able to pick up your dresses.”

The three of them packed up that night. Qort had understood, knowing all too well what the Principality would do to acquire a Touched of Benjamins ability. “Stay safe my friend. I pray our paths cross again.” Jukha snuck them out of the village that night, using his wagon to get them to his home. They stayed a week, laying low while they planned their next move. The girls spent their time learning recipes from Jukha’s wife, and ben took the time to unwind a bit. Jukha and He went on a hunt, and Benjamin was given a run down on the flora and fauna of the Feral wood. The two of them brought back a pair of Stags, and the three women cooked them a feast.

“Dinner’s ready!!” called Viola, setting the last of the sides on the table as the dutch oven roasted meat was brought off of the stove top. It was a simple yet elegant meal. Stag, potatoes, some kind of Kale style vegetable that Benjamin had never seen before. Soon enough, everyone at the table was leaning back, as full as they could make themselves. “So, pinkskin,” Jukha asked, “Where do you plan on going. I wouldn’t mind you staying with me. I could use another hunter, but I suspect that they would notice the extra product I brought to the village.”

Benjamin Hummed, “The Maridian Combine. Qort told me that they banned slavery over a century ago, the girls have learned so much already. It would be easy to find jobs for them.” Vi and Val drooped slightly but hid it well. Jukha noticed it but said nothing. “A good choice, their boarders are well guarded, you would need to free them before you cross, or end up in a dungeon yourself.”

“Good point, I can write up a simple writ of freedom. Something I can sign and give to them.” Benjamin nodded, “I can get started on that to…” he paused as a hand fell on his. He looked to see Viola staring at him, fighting back tears, “Hey, what’s wrong. You will be free…” Jukha nodded slowly and stood. “love,” he said to Vilora, “I need some help with the livestock” The Farie met his eyes in unspoken understanding, fluttering out the front door with Jukha.

“Vi, what’s wrong.” Benjamin asked gently.

“No… go… Val… stay…” Both of them turned to Valtrya in shock. She was trembling, “I wont..leave.”

“You speak?” Benjamin looked in shock, but Viola spoke next, “Benjamin, we don’t want to leave. We want to stay, with you. I…” She paused. Ben sighed, “I want you to stay too.” He said, finally admitting it to himself, “But I can’t own you. It’s killing me that you are my property.” He reached up and wiped a tear from Vi’s eyes, “You are so much more than property. I feel evil, every day that I wake up knowing that I could do anything I wanted to you, or worse, die and have someone else hurt you for the fun of it.” Benjamin bowed his head. Viola reached out, lifting his chin to look into his eyes, “Then come with us.” She whispered as Val stood up and stepped around the table, “yes.. You, come.” She wrapped herself around Ben from the side leaning in until she was resting her head against his shoulder, “I’m… staying.. with you.” she said softly. Viola nodded, “Benjamin, how old do you think we are.”

Ben looked at her in confusion, “I have no idea, I’ve always assumed you were teenagers. 13-14 years old for Val, maybe 16 for you, but that was when you were skin and bones.” He admitted.

Viola’s eyes widened in understanding. “You did not want to bed us because you thought us children.” Benjamin nodded slowly, answering. “And forcing sex on a child is the worst kind of crime on my world”. Viola and Valtrya looked at each other, before Vi spoke. “Ben, my sister will turn one hundred and three in a fortnight. I just had my one hundred and fifteenth birthday last week.” She leaned in, pressing her lips to Bens as she kissed him passionately for a moment. “We are no children,” Viola paused as Valtrya leaned in, kissing Ben lightly on the neck, “You are not forcing us to do anything, but leave.” Viola whispered as she began to close in to a surprised Benjamin for another kiss.

The door to the cabin flew open violently, and the girls pulled back to a more modest distance. Jukha walked in, carrying a panting Vilora. “What happened.” Ben asked hurriedly, hoping he wasn’t blushing as hard as the heat on his cheeks suggested. Vilora waved a hand as Jukha set her down in her chair, “The Vin… My sisters… they reached out… They wish to meet…” The Farie gathered herself, “They also sent a warning. We must leave, tonight… hunters.”
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If you made it this far, I very much appreciate it. I hope you enjoyed the episode! If you believe I have earned it, I have a Patreon that is two episodes ahead of the free releases for this series. I hope you feel taking a look is worth it. Either way, come hang out in the comments. Everyone's welcome! I've discovered Im a bit of a "warts and all" poster, so even critical comments are welcome. Hell, You might even teach me something (it happens more than I'd like to admit).
I have heard people off and on reference Royal road, So I am going to give it another shot. I'll be adding the Royal Road link from now on. If you like reading over there, It is on the same schedule as here. I would greatly appreciate a like/review/comment if you feel so inclined. Thank you again for stopping by.
First, Previous, Next (Patreon) Royal Road

today my mom and I went out shopping after work. I’m taking accutane which makes me super dehydrated and coupled with the fact that I ran out of water and didn’t eat properly the whole day, I had the biggest headache and was short with my words.
fast forward I pay for my mom’s stuff because I promised her I would and I don’t mind. after she wanted to go one more place and buy something. I was ok with it but then my headache throbbed even more and I ended up telling her that maybe we can save it for another day because my head was hurting. because my head hurt I said it in a snappy tone and she blew up on me on our way back to the car, saying that I was disrespectful, always getting mad at her, and I never wanna spend time with her and only with my friends.
I know I don’t have to justify myself but just to preface, I never spend time with friends. I work a typical 9-5 and by the time I’m done with work I don’t wanna interact with anyone ever.
she brought up the ONE time I hung out with my friend and she said that when I’m with my friends I’m happy but when I’m with her I’m not. I wonder why! It’s almost like my friends understand me and respect me and don’t blow up on me over the smallest thing possible. one time I told her I was planning to hangout with friends and decides that she wants to do something that day. by the time we were finished, my friends could no longer go outside as it was too late and I just had to hold back my tears.
because of her behavior, I grew up very intuitive and try to gauge people’s behaviofeelings to make sure I don’t upset them in the first place, if not further. I also grew up feeling like I had to apologize for everything to avoid anything escalating, so I apologized in the car. silent treatment. the entire ride home and while we’re unloading our stuff, silent treatment. I decide I’m gonna do laundry and she finally speaks and yells at me for being stupid to wash at night knowing I’m tired and will “probably have another headache and blow up at her in the morning.”
I’m tired of her constantly doing this but I don’t know how to deal with it. I don’t wanna keep apologizing and I also don’t want to just let her talk over me, but I don’t know what the right course of action would be. I’m so tired.

I've been looking into getting a car with a B58 and I've considered the 340i 540i and X3 M40i.
I've recently looked into the 740i/540i which also comes with a B58 and they're about the same price or only few grand more than the cars mentioned above.
What Interests me is the tunability of the B58, I currently have a fbo 2nd gen Lexus IS350 and it's decently fast for what it is 0-60 in 4.7 secs, it is lowered and a small car, not the most comfortable. However it has been extremely reliable with 144k miles on the clock while being redlined to 7200rpm every other week.
What I am looking for is a car that will be faster than my current car while being more comfortable.
I'm leaning away from the 340i because they're the most commonly modified and abused one and probably has a higher chance of failure, and 540i and 740i are less likely to be modified by the previous owner. I know the 740i is heavier and if I do the same mods on a 340i it'll be faster, but I'm not planning to build the fastest B58 car around and making a full bolt on 740i will be fast enough and more unique for me. My goal is to build a sleeper grandpa car that has burbles.
I know that the 7 series BMW has been know for being quite unreliable and 5 series are usually less reliable than the 3 series, both cars due to extra electronics.
I have heard that electronics on the 740i tend to fail and air suspension can fail eventually, but I'm OK with that as long as the engine and transmission won't have too many issues, and the car won't leave me stranded. I have some mechanical experience and I'm decent at working on cars.
Now my question is how reliable is the 740i/540i ? Any common issues with the cars ? (Doesn't matter if it's x drive or not)

I'm out in California in the Bay Area. Growing up, it seemed like there were more hockey fans than there are now. These days, when I'm out and about, I barely see any fans. No one is wearing any gear or has any sort of hockey memorabilia on their car.
Ice hockey has gotten prohibitively expensive, making it accessible only to the rich. We used to have more inline hockey around here, but now there's only a barely surviving rink in Oakland and a league in San Jose.
I grew up playing street hockey, and there were more kids playing then than now. My mom would drive me around, and I would see multiple games break out. When I drive around now, I don't see any.
Instead, I see kids playing soccer and baseball, which leads me to why I'm feeling this way today. There's a local outdoor inline rink that never gets used for its intended purpose. The youth league is long gone. I see people skating in it, some guy takes his daughter there for cartwheels, and what else does it get used for? Soccer. That's what I saw today—a bunch of kids making use of a hockey rink for soccer.
I even went over and asked how often they use the rink for soccer, and the kids didn’t even know it was a hockey rink. Another didn’t even know what hockey was. The park was also full of kids playing baseball. You can’t tell me a bunch of kids would rather sit around bored in some outfield watching bugs, hoping something happens in baseball, compared to the constant action of street hockey. Also, if you’re a mom trying to get your overweight, video game-addicted kid off the couch, baseball isn’t going to help him lose weight, and he will probably hate how bored he is.
I don't see the future of hockey looking good. It’s a white-dominated sport in both participation and viewership, and it seems like white people just don’t want or have kids anymore. On top of that, the costs will keep only the richest from playing.
There still might be hope, though. We might need a top-down approach, but it could work. The NHL needs to require their local teams to sponsor in-line and street hockey, not just in the city they play in but on a regional level.
They need to help build inline rinks and donate equipment to schools for street hockey so it can be a sponsored sport like basketball and baseball. These versions of hockey are significantly more affordable. This way, it gets people a stick in their hand, knowing the rules, and hopefully becoming future fans.
Right now, the NHL has some BS NHL street program, but I haven’t seen any programs implemented in all of Northern California. We've let inline hockey die off for whatever reason, but building the rinks and helping organize leagues would help. Street hockey is too easy and can be played, sponsored, and maintained by schools. The time to do this was a decade ago; the second best time is now. If not, I feel hockey will just be a sport in major decline.
Rant over. Enjoy the playoffs.
TLDR: Hockey fandom and participation seemed to have declined especially in the Bay Area. It’s decline due to high costs and limited access to rinks. Street and inline hockey are nearly extinct, with kids preferring soccer and baseball. The NHL needs to sponsor local hockey initiatives and provide equipment to schools to revive the sport especially inline and street. Without intervention, hockey's future looks bleak.

Today we flew American Airlines for a trip from Austin to Tulum connecting through Miami
Flight from Austin to Miami was delayed by weather or air traffic by about 1.5 hours - boarded and we were not informed that there would be a delay until we were on the runway.
We originally had a 45 min layover but ended up missing our connecting flight - it was the ONLY flight to Tulum today.
Once we knew we were going to be delayed I got on the AA app and tried to figure out our options - just trying to be proactive.
Since it was a supposed weather delay AA said they couldn't help yet because our connection could also be delayed etc etc
So I waited until I could see that our connection was on time and tried again this time just searching for guidance and resources - how do we get to our destination there are 6 of us traveling and have a full week of tours and activities planned and paid for not to mention rental cars, hotels etc logistics
For over an hour I spent on chat I really had very little success just trying to figure out if there were 6 seats on the following days flight to Tulum thinking over night in Miami and catching the next day's flight (answer is no) next possibility switch to a flight from Miami to Cancun - great there are 3 direct flights on jet blue, frontier and spirit with 6 seats leaving w enough time to get us to Tulum before we lose a full day on our house reservation, tour on the 16th etc - not life or death but expensive and logically challenging
Chat couldn't help, our only option thru this avenue was "We have a flight here, AA #322 departing from MIA (Miami International) at 911P and arriving in EWR (Newark Liberty Int'l) at 1231A on the next day, connecting with AA flight #816 departing from JFK (New York John F Kennedy Intl) at 700A and arriving in CUN (Cancun) at 1005A."
So your opinion is to fly 6 of us from Miami to Newark, on to JFK and on to Cancun tomorrow? No thanks - was told to see a gate agent at the airport in Miami because they have more ability to see/understand situation and get us on new flights.
We got to Miami at 12:30 - went straight to rebooking/customer service and waited an hour in line (missing the jetblue 1:30 direct flight) also sat on hold for 45 min with no answer while waiting in line to see if we could get assistance that way as recorded by our pilot and signs in customer service line and as I sit on hold for the 3rd time today at midnight I feel certain I won't be helped - 49 min now it's 1am and I have been up since 4am just signed up for a call back but won't hold my breath
Anyhow we got to speak to a customer service rep at the Miami counter- she couldn't book us on another airline, she couldn't refund our missed flight and the slightly helpful advice that was offered was that our return flight would be cancelled within 24 hours if we didn't rebook- which she also couldn't do.
We are resourceful and on our own booked 6 tickets on Frontier to Cancun and canceled our rental car in Tulum so we could rebook a car in Cancun and drive to our rental in Tulum - nightmare btw but so much easier than dealing with AA
But wait our bags - at customer service counter we were told the process to pick up our checked bags - well only one made it, we had to leave to catch our flight so one bag is still in Miami (I can track it and see it but I can't get anyone to help me get it to Tulum - I am currently on hold for the 3rd time today (over 3 hours on hold with no actual help or human contact).
My bag is in Miami, my return flight home will likely be cancelled because I can't get ahold of their inept organization and we are only at our destination because we took matters into our own hands and paid out of pocket for our flight changes.
I won't ever fly AA again if I don't have to and how shitty and poorly managed of an organization do you have to be for you to have to be to have multiple employees across departments be completely unable to help your customers in any meaningful way and on top of it be rude, condescending, more than once being told it's either not their department or didn't have access or authority to make decisions.
Any help or suggestions welcome 🙏🏼 just want my bag, a way home and some credit or reimbursement for the flight we missed because they were delayed

Hello everyone, so this is my first post here or anywhere regarding Witch subjects... I tried to not make this a book but please understand this has been building so if you find the time to help me i would greatly appreciate your time and insight/expertise in to this matter.. that being said... I do not know what I am or if I would "belong" within this community... but I know that I have to be something considering certain things I have and or have experienced... "coincidences" can only happen for so long. also please understand i am NOT intending on upsetting or trying to offend anyone here so please treat me as someone who has not only not much idea of what he is talking about in most of this stuff but also im not sure aside from obvious larger topics im not sure how not to offend anyone so please bear this in mind... so lets give you the run down
a little bit of context... my dad also informed me that he could do the same with weather as below when he was young before his "pineal gland calcified" but his level of control was "tomorrow it is going to rain (or snow) so bad that we cant go to school tomorrow" or we cant go to work what have you and literally the next day it was so bad the next day school or work in the military whatever was cancelled sometimes until the weekend...he also had/has some other small abilities but the way he described it to me when i told him about the dream below is i guess his mom was "full blood" but suppressed it all her life then when she got with my grandpa dad would have been considered "half blood" and for me all things considered he said i would be a "quarter blood" which in this space would help me understand why i can do similar things but i have better talents in dreams and less strength in weather and so on...and on my moms side they are more spirit sensitive so i cant really communicate generally but i get strong feelings of energy around me at times or in a home you know and also in dreams which im definitely stronger with i have 100% had some... "nightmares" but as you will read below dreams are important to me because generally when i pray or ask for a sign or what have you i trust a dream the most because thats what i feel aside from a lucid dream that i cant control so getting an answer or sign from a dream is a bit more compelling than the "i have just enough money for this its meant to be" or that random act of someone or something in waking life...
I am in my early 20's and so far in life I exhibit the following:
Mild control over the weather with a simple statement, (since around maybe my teens or a little younger I could simply say " its going to rain later" or tomorrow or what have you or i would say "i hope it rains later" or tomorrow and i have gotten microbursts and sometimes even really bad storms there have even been times i got a little bit of rain and said "come on thats not all you got show me more show me lightning and thunder and more rain" and within half an hour or less sometimes a few seconds it would all pick back up again much stronger) (even my wife would get upset and say "make it stop!" because i proved this ability to her much like my dad did his buddies so she would tell me to stop the rain and all that xD)
Since i was very young almost as long as i can remember i have premonition dreams at random and this had led me to at MANY points in my life of say Deja Vu they have been accurate down to the minute detail ( i couldnt remember the dream before it happened only as that moment in the dream started or up to 1-3 minutes before that part of the dream started in real life... also when i have a "deja vu" moment as that happens the dream is recalled from memory and with almost perfect accuracy when the dream is finally recalled i can almost pinpoint exactly when i had the dream weather i dreamed it 5 months ago or 8 years ago)
i seem to be able to as i get close to someone read their mind (its not perfect and its not guaranteed... but for example when me and my wife slept in the same bed we got to the point where she knew that i finished alot of her sentences and not just in the cute way i mean before or as she thought them without speaking, when she would say something in her mind but not out loud and so on so she would play a game with me it was called "what color am i thinking of" so i thought about it and i would get an image in my mind that was filled in with a color and i would answer and i was right... after about 2-5 minutes of being right and answering very quickly she is competitive so she made it harder and said "what color and shape am i thinking of" i would tell her and continued on with as i gave the answer i would give the next and the next without her having to ask for them it evolved into me telling her what color and shape and why she was thinking about it or even when she tried to cheat and randomly thought of say a purple elephant or a pink dragon i got the shape and color and answered correctly what creature and color she was thinking of and she seemed to get creeped out but this happened most of the time at night as everything was quiet and we were laying in bed talking and hanging out before sleep with all the lights off) (she isnt very spiritual very much a grounded in reality yes believes in god but gods got bigger fish to fry then helping me mindset but this is also why it really creeped her out at times considering my accuracy and speed of my "guessing" and was always right)
i think that i very recently... and for the first time in my life... accidentally dreamwalked... long story short im not with my wife at the moment alot of bad stuff and bad timing stuff happened in my life and we werent great financially so we lost the house and are living separately with our parents and all of sudden after getting married recently she 180'd me and now wants divorce... so im going through that and we are going through no-contact at the moment i dont really message her but if she messages me then i wait awhile and reply... but... its been a few months since this started and all the tarot i see on tiktok say the same things and right now if tarot is generally trusted... it seems she is now at the point of recognizing what she did and i should be expecting contact soon for reconciliation... (i just wanted to put this here because i didnt want everyone only saying oh you dreamt of her because you miss her) but anyways... for a month or 2 i successfully pushed her energy away and was actually doing alot better.. yeah i miss her but im my own person and i have learned alot through this... but recently... as i started to stop believing in tarot because she wasnt reaching out or doing anything... i all of a sudden had a dream i dont remember what happened and in the dream it was super blurry but it was very emotional... and as i had that when i woke up all of a sudden she was the only thing on my mind all the work i did getting over things was gone... and i still cant get her off my mind a week ish later... and then after that dream i started having more dreams of her being with her and remembering older dreams i forgot about in these few months before this most recent dream with all the emotion... and the only way i can interpret this is she is letting the walls down... and subconsciously re-opened her mind to me.. and now im feeling the emotions at times of her.... for example the other day i was at work at my new job perfectly calm no stress actually having a good day but OUT OF NOWHERE i got this MASSIVE amount of panic shooting through my body so bad that i really wanted to vomit.... and thats not my response to panic and i had no reason to panic... again i think im reacting to her emotions or her containers in her mind of emotions...
but here is the thing for dream walking... and this will probably be the last thing for now... this is what i wrote in my notes app (names redacted and edited for here) after i woke up...
I’m in a mall a very large mall… and I just purchased a dog from one of the stores a larger dog I can’t tell if it was a type of rottie? (my wifes old family dog that meant alot to both of them) But she was super sweet and well trained super responsive she could follow me with a snap like my dog (each time the dog veered away i snapped my fingers and she came right back walking at my side) and as she is following me I did notice there were multiple dogs in this mall type place with other people…(this was weird and the mall i felt like i recognized it but the layout didnt seem like any mall i had been too and i knew it was a huge mall) the dream fast forwarded and now im in a back mall sort of cylinder block stairwell with my new dog and a dog came up to me and I was thinking “oh hey look a dog I can pet” but when I went to pet him I saw on his vest “oh for PETES sake” I asked him if Pete was his name and before he could react I realized there was no person with him and that this was a service dog looking for someone to help his owner I then asked “does your person need help? Let’s go buddy” and he took off checking multiple times if I was following he then led me to the bathrooms area where 2 other people where shouting into a hole in the ground presumably trying to help this dog and the person was on the other side of where this vent attached too I looked around and noticed there was a stair case down to the men and women’s restrooms but the hole itself that the 2 other people were at was a type of floor vent to the maintenance room in between the restrooms so I went to the men’s restroom and asked the cleaning guys if it was possible anyone collapsed in the maintenance room they kind of laughed and ignored me and I didn’t know what to do since there were multiple people in the men’s restroom and no one was calling for help I left the bathroom thinking I couldn’t go into the women’s room because im a guy and the dream then fast forwarded to me being in the women’s room and seeing multiple people but no one needing help I left and the dream fast forwarded again and i guess i really had to pee in real life so I was searching in the dream for the bathroom and I saw myself go into the men’s room but it turned out to be the women’s room again… still multiple women in the restroom paying me no mind some looked at me and focused on me but didnt say or do anything just continued walking and talking to other women but I had to leave to go find the men’s room and as I did I kept getting lost in the vastness of this women’s restroom and couldn’t find the door (keep in mind at this point in the dream it was like the 3rd time i was in here and found the doorway out each and every time pretty easily except this last time) when I finally found the door I opened it and multiple women were coming in and leaving at the same time and I said out loud “ why does the women’s room have to be such a fucking maze” and as I said that the women in front of me had finished leaving but I was now stuck in place (like i wasnt allowed to leave the bathroom) the sight before me was kind of off or...blurry? ( it was like a 2 step up to all the sinks and mirrors like a little stage thing with a door leading outside to the right of the sinks and the door back to the mall just to my immediate right) and it was still the bathroom but as it came into focus a previous memory of (my wife) was to the left a memory where she is bent down hands on knees (yes fully clothed) (in previous dreams it has felt like whenever her body is in that position whichever way she is facing it’s like an arrow) and it was facing right so I started to look right and I saw (my wife)… the real (wife)… to the right of her was a door seemingly to the outside I didn’t look out of it much but I think I saw the silhouette of her mom maybe kind of holding the door open to the outside of the mall and the parking lot near by but the light outside was brighter than usual really green grass blue partly cloudy sky nice trees i think in the backround and some cars parked near the door... as soon as I saw (wife) she was beautiful the world around me slowed those walking in and out or around the bathroom slowed down to a stop in place as did time itself… she was in darker blue jeans like my dark blue Levi’s I don’t remember her shoes maybe adidas? White and black ones? She was wearing a very nice… very nice on her grey sweater long sleeve her hair was (same color as now and style) as i saw her i just couldnt stop looking as she was so pretty and to see her again seemingly in person i was happy... as time stood still around me she saw me too and those eyes looked into my soul (as usual…the slow and stop of time didnt effect her or me) a look came over her face at first i felt fear because I’m in the women’s room and maybe she thinking’s I followed her whatever (same deal as "oh no im graduating today and i forgot all my clothes!") but the feeling I got from her face was almost like… her face as content/happy and the feeling felt like “I miss you“ maybe? "I love you I’m happy you are here” and it felt like surprise almost as if she was surprised to see me maybe in her dream? in my body in the dream i felt MASSIVE panic and fear which started as she looked at me and as she looked at me her face kinda said like "WTH?!" maybe? I don’t know for sure but when i tried to read the air... the overall dead space thats where i felt the calm and the possible i miss you energy and want to work on things but it could be my own hope im not sure... but it seemed mutual...but I know that as I saw her I got to see what I felt every time she looked at me lovingly in real life... maybe i felt both of our emotions as we each looked at each other but each time it was like time stood still… the day was brighter… if there is one thing for sure the way she looked at me in the dream didnt seem like hatred or divorce it honestly seemed like confusion or "HOW ARE YOU HERE..."but i dont think we weren’t talking about divorce anymore and we’re rekindling or reconciling or we already had done all of that because in the dream I just felt love even on the other side of the room I felt her embrace and her love… I dreamt of her twice in a 1 and a 1/2 hour nap and to me this was a really long dream that was already shared with another i didnt remember in a single hour and a half this is a kind of dream i would have in like a 4-8 hour sleep minimum not an hour to an hour and a half...
and i dont like naps i never take them but as i have grown and learned it seems like every time i take a nap because im almost forced too something big spiritually happens to me like this... in the dream it just seemed like... the panic to me read as like... lets say you have a fear of mannequins but you go into a clothing store and you LEGIT see one move and you point and say "...thats...NOT a mannequin" you know that sort of fear of realization? when we saw each other in the dream it felt VERY mutual that we saw each other and just KNEW "...thats NOT... a dream character..." almost like a "how the HELL are you here!?" i dont know if i dream walked into a dream because she turned out to be dreaming at the same time in a nap (5/12/2024 when this happened) maybe thats when her mind opened more to me because i dreamwalked into her subconscious as she was awake? i dont know i really need help with this....and when i explained it to my dad... he thinks... weather it was a dream or her subconscious or maybe both he thinks that the mall represents her mind her... mind palace... and the mall is big and vast but with her poor....experiences in life childhood and all that he thinks the stores in the mall represent "containers" for chunks of her life or bad memories and or good ones... and that as i was in the cinderblock staircase that was me kind of being led by my spirit guide further in to "the maze" closer to "the center" to (wife) and the service dog named pete was HER spirit guide leading me to her quicker... and each time the dream started to take over for me i was guided by the "fast forwards" like "no dont go you still have to see this dont miss this" which is why i couldnt leave the bathroom until i woke up after seeing her sometime later... and my dad also thinks the people i saw in the mall with other dogs and in the bathrooms and all that werent just dream character but passing thoughts in her conscious or unconscious mind as i was observing if im dreaming that would make the most sense to me... and the fact that some of them looked at me and observed me but werent mean or horrible or whatever to me means that she is talking about me but maybe not as badly as i may think... because hopefully the reconciliation coming up soon... i dont know... and one of the reasons i dont think this was a basic dream.... is because when she saw me or when others saw me it wasnt a normal dream giving me what i would expect...i expected hatred or hurt from her i expected screaming and anger from the women seeing a man in their restroom and all that stuff but all in all it was like i was muted and blended in to everyone except... (wife)... the owner of the dream or mind or sub-conscious i was in...
again i know this is long but if anyone could help me understand what i am if anything and maybe if anyone could help me gain more control on this possible dreamwalking ability i may have just manifested naturally because i have no idea what im doing i was raised in a very openminded christian household and i dont even know how to google any of this without finding fan wikis for witch tv shows... i want to learn and strengthen this skill because... if im being honest... maybe if i could understand more about what the true cause of her hurt is (everything she is doing to me now falls in to her patterns of attachment including the hiding away and acting like its not her attachment that is making her decisions for her even though she has agreed in the past that everything she is doing now is part of her attachment issues) if i could understand the root cause in her mind and she wont listen to outside people or me in waking life maybe i could from a distance do this again and help her heal... and if i can help her heal inception style it will make it easier for her to heal in waking life and come to me with the honesty it seems and feels like she wants to give but doesnt know how...im not in to changing her or rooting around her mind un-invited... i just want to try to help her and help us continue to have a happy life together... so if anyone could help me understand what all this is...and how to improve... i would be very grateful for your insight/expertise... thankyou everyone so much for your time and for reading my experiences.

Have you ever been in a position where your LO was never someone you knew, never someone you interacted with, maybe they showed serious signs they wanted to at least engage in conversation with you like move down an entire train car to be right next to you?
Maybe you were a new father, struggling with the fact that you hated the partner you had a kid with before they were even born, felt the mutual vibe with LO but couldn't do anything about it even just say hello, as it would ruin your entire life?
Maybe your LO disappeared for months, and you used the time to try to fix yourself and your existing relationship, but your significant other refused to do anything meaningful to contribute? So you doubled down on LO even though you hadn't seen them in months?
And then out of nowhere, bam, there's LO AGAIN!? A week later, a SECOND TIME, three weeks after that, a THIRD? And you know what they say about three, it's perfect, it is completion, it is a confirmation of a pattern.
But then LO does this super scripted ass shit of having a boy on the phone, and "my supervisor gave me a [reference]" for some other job. So you smile and sincerely ask, "how was your day?" And she says, "it was great, and now I'm seeing my boyfriend!", so you say "that's really awesome, he sounds great" and give the most genuine smile like I really hope you're telling the truth and you have the best boyfriend in the fucking world because you deserve nothing less than that. And she moves over to the other seat because of "the sun" (even though the sun is more intense on the other side?)
Then she's speaking some other language entirely and you think damn I probably should have learned more Chinese or picked a different dialect of Chinese because I'd actually understand what the fuck is being said right now 🙈🤣
Then she's almost sulkingly moving forward on the platform of her town as if it even hurt her a tiny bit to play out these scenes.
I kept a bright smile on my face the entire time breaking this unwanted NC, dude. I was not prepared at all to break this shit, but it was the first time in a year where I was like I don't give a fuck anymore, I'm not sitting in limbo anymore. Maybe she was expecting I'd get mad or jealous or some dumb shit but I just didn't. I couldn't. This was the first time in my life I saw a complex and flawed (severely flawed) human being instead of some deity when it comes to her and I'm even more hooked than before. She's even more beautiful and flawed as a human being than the LO version of her in my daydreams.
So now my only mission is to grow. I'll become beyond proficient with finances, I'll double down with vanity and lose weight, gain muscle mass, do everything that I can personally do to become the best version of me so that even if she never shows up again I am just the best version of me I can be. I'm hoping that if she ever does show up again, she is so astounded with what I've built myself up to thanks to my limerence over her and my jealousy for a fictitious boyfriend or arch nemesis or whatever lol
It pissed me off the train waited 10x as long to begin moving like c'mon I'm too old to make suicidal threats or gestures, I even joked in the past the commuter train has too good of brakes to ever jump in front of I'd need a fuckin freight train if I was at that level again 💀 thankfully I'm nowhere near, I am in my selfish villain era and I will get what I want, meaning I will become irresistible

Hello, I'm traveling solo via plane with my 2 1/2 year old. We have a travel car seat that is 15lbs. I've been looking into a trolley to make my life easier for the airport.

1. What is your favorite trolley?
   
2. Where do you store the trolley at if you gate check your car seat? I will have no room in my luggage no matter how small it is (traveling with just 2 backpacks) Do you store it in the car seats bag when gate checking?
   
3. Any tips?
   

This was inspired by a rent I recently went on about how the Bowyer is the worst background in the game as it inspired me to try to think of a way of buffing some Backgrounds without just giving them a lot of stats.
Bowyer Maybe give them a special ability of just having their ranged weapons degrade slower or repair faster just for flavor
Make their bow event better. First lower its trigger time since sometimes it just never pops. Make it so with just lumber you get the usual event with the 50% fail rate. If you fail and have another lumber you can reroll in an attempt to fix the mistake.
Also let them create a strong named bow if you’re instead also carrying schrat wood and resin, spider web and Ifrit sulfur. Named ranged weapons already feel rare so being able to generate one in a way that makes it so you also have to earn it by fighting annoying enemies is neato.
The apprentice isn’t one of the worst but it is a little dull. Figure a neat event for them would be their ‘graduation’ event - squire should also get it just to maintain flavor despite squire being one of the best.
Apprentice/Squire Add more training events for them that buffs their stats based on who teaches them. They have a few already but add some others like hunter training for range, Gladiator for resolve (showmanship), Assassin for initiative and so on. I know it’s a lot of events but they’re meant to be many, varied and difficult since your party is varied.
Now with that in mind the events on their own are already boons but imagine you get all of them to trigger and give you an educated and skilled character. What would be a suitable reward? They change background from apprentice/journeyman and squire/knight. Their reward is an additional perk - and resolve for good measure.