Good sayings for tattoosc

I'll start with that I am an addict and alcoholic, been sober for 29 months and initially the sobriety was good. But currently I just cannot find anything to make the listlessness go away. Trying to spend time with family and kids and all that entails being a parent, working a VERY unfulfilling full-time job that with inflation and my debt we can barely make ends meet. I used to play videogames, hang out with friends, watch movies and tv - but now nothing sounds fun and things are just kinda grey. NOw I won't say that I dont have a lot happening with me - depression is hitting me hard and I've been on multiple medications and nothing seems to work. I don't even know what I am expecting since I just see people, happy fulfilled people, and I get upset that I can't seem to have that. I know there is a lot going on in the world, and it affects me negatively, but I also know there are others that are in this boat with me and I guess I just wanted to 'scream into the ether' and just see if anyone responds and maybe can help knock me out of whatever is happening. I want to feel happy and needed and effective as a person, but I just don't. I have had thoughts about suicide, but I know that it won't solve anything and just end up cratering my family even further than what my addictions and alcoholism did. I will never know the extent I don't think, but there is guilt there for the pain I caused. Even though that things are forgiven in a way, the spectre of alcoholism looms over me just because I see others and I remember how the 'social lubricant' really does make people seem to be able connect more.
So I guess to whomever reads this - if you have any advice I'm here for it, I'll try almost anything just to get out of this headspace. I know that stopping and starting meds recently haven't helped it much. And if you are like me, if you are lost somehow, know that if I could I would take your pain from you just so there would be one less sad person out there. I am with all the seemingly lost souls and I hope that peace comes for all of us somehow.

Probably everyone heard this line at least once. I'm not ready for a relationship or I need to focus on myself right now. Sounds like a typical excuse to reject someone without making them feel bad.
So here is my point of view:
In recent weeks I started talking with two girls from the past. What's important, they both texted me first when I was at stage of prioritizing my mental health etc. People say you should love yourself first and I think I dont, that's why I wanted to change it.
But you know what's the worst? Both these girls are like wife or at least relationship material. They look nice, have their hobbies, they work and are actively showing their interest. And I feel like shit. Not only because my current mental state but also due to the fact I string them along. I dont think any of them will believe me when I say "sorry, you are great but I dont want a relationship right now".
But what else can I do? Starting a relationship right now doesnt seem to be a good idea but not even trying isn't either...

Here's a few observations I've made over the past 2 years commuting from Somerville to the North shore. First, get the fuck off your phones, you are in control of a potential murder weapon, act like it. That's what cops should be focused on, but they're too busy on their own phones to notice.
Merging: to merge properly you must get up to the speed limit of the road you are merging with BEFORE you merge with it. If the person in front of you is doing the speed limit on the on ramp, get off their ass proper following distance will also make merging much easier. And for Gods sake don't cut the gore to merge, wait until it's time to merge you're not in that much of a rush.
Blinkers: I've gotten pretty good at reading "car body language" and one thing I notice all the time is people positioning themselves to change lanes for a while before they make the change. The time where you know you want to change lanes and you are looking for an opening, that is when you should have your blinker on. Most people sit and wait and then put their blinker on as they change lanes, this is wrong, you should be sitting with your blinker on so we don't have to read your body language. I don't think I'm alone when I say, if you sit next to me with your blinker on I WILL ease up on the gas and let you in.
Traffic backed up in the right lane and your exit is a mile and a half away? Sit in the traffic, it's a line for your exit, join it. This is how it is in Boston, if youre in a rush, you leave earlier. If you leave later, you're going to be late there is no beating the traffic.
Not sure where you are? Pull over and find the fuck out. Don't stop in the middle of the road and cause an accident.
I93: if you want to do 35 on 93, just stay home. There can be no congestion at all and everyone is just doing their own speeds in every lane ranging from 35-50 meanwhile the speed limit is 65. IT IS JUST AS DANGEROUS TO DRIVE TOO SLOW ON A HIGHWAY AS IT IS TO DRIVE TOO FAST. If you can't handle your car at 65, you should not be driving.

TLDR: after 3 and a half years of hard work, reactive dog met two new humans consecutively without incident. No barking, no lunging, no jumping, no snapping, no fake outs (pretending to be nice and then trying to bite.) Welcomed new comers to the house and IMMEDIATELY invited them to play. I could cry.
My fellow reactive parents, please celebrate with me. This week my boy crossed one of his biggest hurdles he’s faced yet. This week I was entertaining two new people at my house spaced out over a few days. Usually when meeting new people, introductions happen in stages.
Stage 1: the first meeting is all barking, snapping, and all those aggressive behaviors that alarm people.
Stage 2: second meeting, is cautious. He growls and keeps a distance but will tolerate another person so long as I’m in the room.
Stage 3: third meeting, we finally begin being friendly.
This week I was able to set up and execute two brand new people with ZERO incident. He greeted my guests with a wagging tail and a toy. He invited to play right away (but still refusing pets until he’s comfortable, but I’ll take it!)
How I did it: I realized I was the one setting him off. Whenever we’d meet new people I would say: “wanna say hi buddy? Let’s say hi!” And he would immediately become aggressive. However, whenever someone we knew would approach I would say: “Omigosh who is that?! Look buddy! Who is it?” And he would immediately become excited. So now whoever approaches they are greeted with “Who is it?!” This seemed to be the key. He’s getting a steak this week for his good work.

Hi everyone!
My name is Nicholas, I'm 25, and I live in Italy. I'm a master's student in Management in Milan. Although I've finished all my exams, I'm back in my hometown in southern Italy, waiting to start an internship (if a company accepts me, hopefully...). So, I have a lot of free time lately, and I'd like to make new friends!
I have a messed up sleep schedule, so don't worry if you're not in my timezone. I studied English, Spanish, and French in high school, so I can speak those languages too if you prefer!
I'm 178 cm (or 5'10") with blue eyes and brown hair. Now, let's talk more specifically about me and my passions:

• I like to make jokes and share memes. For reference, all my friends say I'm funny haha.
  
• I'm a fan of Italian and Russian literature. My favorite authors are Moravia and Dostoevsky. I'd like to read something by Sartre in the future.
  
• Teen dramas are my guilty pleasure, probably a reminiscence of my past as a boy of a famous social in 2014 lol. My favorites are probably Call Me by Your Name and Gilmore Girls. And as a user of that social I believe in Lorde supremacy haha
  
• Since 2-3 years ago, I've entered the anime world, after watching Your Name for the first time. I cried a lot! My favorite anime are Attack on Titan, Nana, Horimiya, and Haikyu!!. I'm a sucker for rom-com and slice-of-life genres!
  
• I watch a lot of sports, really a lot! As a good Italian, I'm an AC Milan fan and a Ferrari fan, but I also watch MotoGP and volleyball. If I had watched Haikyu!! as a kid, I would have definitely practiced volleyball, but instead, I just played it casually in high school and sometimes with my friends. Nowadays, i like running and going to the gym.
  

-I play videogames too! I have a PS4 where I usually play Fortnite or FIFA with my friends.
I hope I've caught your interest, so I'm looking forward to hearing from you!

My partner (34M) and I (28F) recently moved to a new country. This was a long discussed decision and generally came from a place of moving for a better future. The country we came from isn't developing well and the overall future looks grim.
We got together very young and in that time we have never prioritized proper mental health care. He didn't believe it did anything, said we didn't have time, or money for it and generally was unsupportive which was extremely off putting for me. I backed down even though objectively I know I don't need him to hold my hand about it.
He tries to be supportive in his own way and I want to stress that he is a good husband but doesn't understand how I feel so cripped with mental health stress and anxiety. To him you just get it done and that's that.
Life happened and before I blinked it's been 12 years. I finally pushed and got a therapist but after all the years of putting it off I must have built up this great expectation because it's been . . . Disappointing with a lack of significant progress. Or perhaps the therapist's style just isn't for me.
After bringing up quiting the therapist to try a different one; I'd given this one months of honest effort but it wasn't working; my partner huffed and said he thought the change in country was supposed to reset things for me but I'm more miserable than ever. I did admit that I was also hoping a fresh space would offer a fresh perspective but I was not under the impression that it would magically fix all my problems.
My first and main problem is a failed career choice that I'm floundering to "fix" but am suffering through massive indecision on how to move forward. My partner continued and said that I should be doing more tasks so I don't have a spare moment to over think things. He said that I'm the problem as even moving countries wasn't enough for me but I disagreed and said we'd only just begun to face the real issues and had largely been ignoring them or running away from them. He ended the conversation saying we shouldn't have moved so far if it wasn't even going to help.

I’m a single dad to my son, aged 2.5 years. Today was just another normal day, we were playing in the living room just doing our thing when I felt that familiar rumble in my stomach, signaling it was time for a quick trip to the bathroom. Now, I don’t take long poops, especially being home alone with my son. I was in and out in maybe 3 or 4 minutes, maximum. I left the door open, and kept a close ear out. We live in a very small house, with paper thin walls, so it’s not like I couldn’t hear him. However, after walking out of the bathroom and rounding the corner into the living room, I looked up to see my son standing on the counter next to the sink, with one of those fly paper ribbons wrapped up into a knot in his hair. I had one hanging above the trash can, for obvious reasons, and this kid climbed up onto the counter, grabbed it, and decided it would be a good idea to create a new hair style. Needless to say, he failed, and I ended up having to call my mother in tears, panicking, not knowing what to do. Good times 👍🏻

Hi everyone,
For some context I am a foreign born fully Japanese person who grew up overseas- I lived the first 19 years of my life in a Western country. I only came to Japan for maximum 4 week holidays during my life, but this year I’ve come to Japan to study Japanese at a language school. Since my parents are Japanese I can speak well but my reading and writing is atrocious. I have always been rather uninterested in fashion and my appearance; I do want to dress nicely and have nice clothes, of course, but actually doing these things I don’t really engage in, I’m just not really that type of person. By no means however, would i consider myself shabby, unmaintained or unclean; I still wear a bit of makeup and wear good quality clothes but without adhering to a particular style; I definitely chose comfort over fashion. But I would still consider myself presentable. I am here to study, not to make myself look better. I would definitely prefer to put more time energy and money into learning and cultivating my mind rather than my appearance.
Recently, my cousin wants me to have an image change since this is my study abroad year. He looks at photos of my other friends from Japanese language school from when we go out (they are all so beautiful and dress very trendy, and could be models) and says he wants them to help me dress and act better, and dress less nerdy. He says by the time I go home, “You’ll begin to wear clothes like that.” I know he just wants to help me but I’m quite surprised at how often he brings up this topic and also brings up wanting to take me to the hairdresser (i wear my hair in a ponytail every day). My foreigner friend from class also says I should wear nicer clothes when we go out - “so we can take photos”, or “please don’t wear what you wear to school on Saturday.” I find these comments rather hurtful and i find them largely absent in western culture. Side note- These comments are also coupled and compounded by my cultural outsiderness, I have been told by the friend that I am not Japanese, or “I can’t believe you are Japanese” when I do not know a famous food or shop. Additionally my lack of photography skills that are suited for social media sites such as instagram also does not help in me fitting in, as the same friend told me, “what are these pictures, nobody takes pictures like that,” or “your phone (iPhone 12) is too old.”
Should I really pay more attention to my style and buy more fashionable and on trend clothes and dress better? Is it essential for fitting in in this society?
Thanks everyone would appreciate any help.

With the onset of monsoon, heavy rains lashed Pune. I am saying that lot of people are complaining about how their basements are converted to use water tank and their cars and other properties being damage due to mis management of municipal corporation . I think corporation is not the only party to be blamed, when you purchase a property you see its amenities, same way below are to be checked too 1. Approach road to the project, check for no. Of flats in the project and can the road really accomodate that traffic. Multiple roads to project are must 2. Good Hospital vicinity, for obvious reasons 3. In case of basement parking, entryshould be elevated on entry points to avoid rain water getting in. 4. 2 wheeler parkings
I can add a few more, but people buying flats for the cost saving are the ones bearing pain due to negligence of above check points.

🎀🌟Sometimes we want people so dearly, but after having them in our life, we realise that they are not made for you or us. Everyone has their own story, but the difference is it is not a story.
🕊️⭐She wanted him, wanted him so badly at a certain time. But she was unaware that her desire can be turned into reality.
🌟🎀⭐ Last time she told him when she was drunk. And that boy was totally not interested in her. Before going back to his city, he called her at his place. He made it clear to her " Don't have any hope, i know how it feels when you have one sided love. Once I had that with a girl. All I can say is don't put any hope into this." Of course at that time I got hurt and my heart shattered. But also knew that one day his heart would melt for me.
🕊️⭐After leaving the city, he became a completely different person. He started talking with her, commenting on every picture on Instagram. The most eye-catching situation was when he called her everyday and talked for hours. Later he opened his inner feelings in front of her when she already moved on from him. But it was also true that in the corner of her heart there was always him. Only Him.
🕊️⭐The trouble started from the day when he said that. She was with her boyfriend. And her boyfriend and he are very good friends from childhood. She always has that feeling of what people will say about them. But she broke up with her boyfriend. Came in a relationship with him. And got intimate.
🕊️⭐She was with him. He always proved that he is better at so many things. Like he motivated her a lot. But staying with him felt like dating a little boy who doesn't Know about relationships. How it works. You can't date a rich boy when you come from a normal family. Can't visit Starbucks, Keventers and KFC everyday. Can't spend your money on costly things. Whenever she hung out with him, she felt that. Going out to Keventers was a mistake. Spending time with him was the best part of her life. He was the most horniest boy she ever met. Before dating him, she knew the boy in one way, and after dating him, she knew him in many more ways. His character had so many layers like a wedding cake.
🕊️ 𝑻𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒎𝒂𝒚𝒃𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒔𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒐𝒚 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚. 𝑳𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒂 𝒅𝒆𝒄𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒃𝒐𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒂 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒉𝒖𝒎𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒉. 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒊𝒎. 𝑻𝒐 𝒂𝒏 𝒆𝒙𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕, 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒆. 𝑩𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏, 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒔 𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒔𝒆𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒉 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓? 𝑯𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒓.
🕊️⭐Everything was going so well, but she was so pissed off by them. He and her boyfriend, both pushed her to make a choice. When she was already in a mess, her sister and brother arrived, making it abundantly clear that they harbored no interest in her new boyfriend whatsoever. Her brother and sister are main supporters. If they don't have interest in him she can't go after him. With this mess she got another mess, she got pregnant by her boyfriend. If they all live in the same city and if someone thinks that no one will talk about them, you are totally in wrong. People will talk and always talk about it. Beside all of it, the reputation is going to be destroyed. In her mind there was always one thought running around her. She was the reason for their broken friendship. She provoked him that's why he came. She was totally destroyed in just a few minutes.
🕊️⭐But now she made her mind clear. She is going to stay away from these two boys. She made it clear to Him that "you should not have any hope. We don't know about our future. And first I have to establish myself in my life, so do you too." It's her final word. °Now the tone of her is same as he had once for this girl. Maybe you can get a feel of revenge.° Lastly she said to him to stay away from her till their exam. Well she missed their late night talking but sometimes you have to choose a hard decision for your good.
⭐🕊️ Sometimes it feels so good before knowing them closely. But after they got too close with someone, they couldn't hold themselves. Doesn't care about the other one, maybe the other one wants to sleep or have some work to do. So when we are having someone in our life we should think about the other one too. Just because your schedules don't align doesn't mean you should take actions that would make them sad.
🎀🕊️🦌🔔 Just a small information, This is an Absurd revenge story based on writer's life. Hopefully everyone will go through this story.

Umm… it’s a long story I guess. TL/DR at the bottom.
Sometimes I really want to divorce. But I also really don’t. I do love my husband a lot and we have had such incredible times together and built a really amazing life. I don’t want to leave it all behind, to start over with someone new, blow up my life and start with literally nothing, but man am I hurting right now. I feel so lonely in my marriage that sometimes I feel like it would just be easier to actually be alone. I don’t like how I’m being treated and I don’t like that I’m asking for bare minimum and not even getting that. Sometimes I feel like I am growing up and outgrowing him/our dynamic and things feel stagnated (I want kids, he wants to drink and party).
My husband (30M) and I (29F) have hit a rough patch, except I’m not even sure if it’s just a rough patch anymore or if we are truly falling apart. Together for nearly 6 years, married for 3. It makes me sick to think about because I feel as if my husband is a totally different person now. I’m so confused because our relationship has never ever felt this wrong or hurtful, I used to believe our love was so healthy and nurturing; my husband used to communicate and be open and loving and now he’s just passive aggressive (he’ll even admit it), hot/cold and mean to me.
He has said some very hurtful things but will never take accountability or apologize for what he has said to me, he often times will spin things around and blame me for all the ways I’m hurting him and never acknowledge what I have come to him with; like I will raise a concern and somehow by the end of it, I’m left apologizing while my feelings were never acknowledged. Or he just goes “ok!?” Like ok so what??? A lot of DARVO and defensiveness, he will twist my words and insist I said something when I know I didn’t. If I call him out, I just get a “sorry I misspoke” from him. If I tell him he hurt my feelings, he says it’s a me problem. That he has no problems. That I should just be happy and move on. In his mind, we wake up the next day and be happy and all is well because we choose to be better (ok sure, fine) but with no apology or repair attempts, I have a hard time “just moving on”. It’s hard to forgive a person that can’t even admit they hurt you or show remorse for how they have done so. I have gone to bed sobbing next to him and it’s never brought up or talked about the next day and he wonders why I’m growing distant. He has zero compassion and empathy for my feelings and I feel really alone in that.
Last year, we were long distance for the whole year (military). Our fights started in September when I went to visit and I felt he was disrespecting me, mocking me, not taking me seriously, disregarding my suggestions in front of our friends. One night, he started picking fights with me at a bar and insisted we go home “because I wasn’t having fun”. I never expressed that, though the bar scene is not my thing, I still went with him and our friends and was enjoying our time. I told him to go have fun, dance, hang out and I’ll enjoy my drink. He kept saying I wasn’t having fun and we needed to leave and I kept insisting I was totally happy to just be there (that was the truth). A lot of times he will project his own interpretations of my feelings onto me and assume he knows what I’m thinking/feeling without asking. We left that night without our friends and grabbed dinner on the way back to the hotel, except he completely ignored me and stonewalled me the entire time. I tried to make conversation but took the hint, let him know I don’t feel welcome in this interaction since he wasn’t engaging in return, and that I was going back to the hotel alone since he clearly didn’t want me there. His defensiveness is usually cold and silent, he has admitted that he “stonewalls me because he’s done talking with me”. He refuses to talk a lot of the time or will say there’s nothing he wants to talk about.
After I had come back home, our fights continued. I asked him a handful of times to please send me the pics we took on our vacations and it took him over a month of me reminding him to please just do it. Finally he became angry and BLEW UP on me and sent them, only half, and I reminded him that there’s more and he spit back at me “THAT’S ALL I HAVE, WE’RE NEVER TAKING PICTURES ON MY PHONE AGAIN” when I knew there were more. What a stupid, petty thing to get mad at me over?
Another time, he completely disappeared on me for 3 whole days and I hardly heard a word from him. I knew exactly where he was (drunk in his dorm playing video games, on a complete bender with his friends online, only taking breaks to go to work drunk/hungover and come back to drinking again). I attempted to reach out, say hi, stay connected, because I feel that’s important long distance? To make an effort to communicate? Because we have a responsibility to each other? I don’t feel like I’m asking for much here, but he was just gone for 3 days. When I finally heard from him and let him know how hurt I was because I felt like he didn’t have time for me (I have often felt second to his online friends, I spent a year and a half going to bed alone and existing without him because he would stay up drinking with them), all he said was “sorry sometimes I just fuck off into my own world”. Like dude you have a wife that you need to be involved with too? I have a really big problem with his drinking and his online life as it’s taken a higher priority over me a lot of times. For a long time, all I saw him do was go to work, come home, drink and game.
Between September to now, things have only spiraled and gotten so much worse. In January, we moved abroad. I knew it would be a hard adjustment for me as I’ve never left home, am incredibly close to my family and overall just a big change, plus I had all my luggage and our two pets to drag through airports and onto flights with. I needed help. I wanted to do it together, as husband and wife, I wanted his support and for us to be doing this new thing in life together… except I had to BEG him to come pick me up. I knew I would need him as my heart was aching over leaving home. There was so much resistance from him though, he said I’d be fine and to just meet him at our next duty station. That it’s such a big waste of time and money to come get me from Asia (he gets a free flight home though??), just to fly back to Asia. Then he started talking about going home to his home state before our move, to see friends and family, and I asked, ok so if you’re in the states already, why not just come up to me and pick me up and we go to Japan together (also, he has time and money to go them but not for me?)? At this point he came unglued and hysterical, insisting again how it’s a waste of time and money and who is going to pay for him to go home? Me? (I’m like, wtf why would I pay for you to go party but you can’t make time to pick me up for a big transition???) he let me know how much I frustrate him and honestly the whole fight just turned into something so bizarre and vague, I wondered what we even were fighting about anymore (as often is the case). I was sobbing and so hurt that he clearly wasn’t choosing me when I needed him, and we fell silent on the phone while I just cried and cried. All he could say was “yeah I know you’re pissed at me”.
Since moving, our sex life has completely declined (my fault). I’ve been depressed, stressed, tired and honestly so hurt by him that I don’t want to have sex with him, especially when he won’t even acknowledge that he has hurt me or apologize. That’s not someone I want to be intimate with. So I have rejected him a couple times, letting him know I’m feeling really insecure about us. I have tried SO HARD to not reject him because I know how hurtful it is, and sometimes in the past, I was just tired. Not in the mood. It doesn’t happen frequently at all (maybe 3 times in our time together), and the times I have said no, he literally will throw himself over in a tantrum like manner and it’s so gross and childish to me. Now, since things have gotten worse, he just goes cold. He told me that if it weren’t for us being married, my couple of times saying no recently would’ve been enough for him to be done with me. And that hurts, because not once has he even attempted to ask what’s wrong, why am I feeling this way, what can we do differently, how is my heart? He can throw everything away over that without even talking to me first? I told him I’m straight up depressed/homesick and having a hard time since moving, not to mention our lack of connection, and he never expressed concern, only his hurt feelings for how rejected and ugly he feels because I won’t have sex with him. He makes weird, off handed snarky comments about how he sometimes “considers going to the gym and getting in shape just to attract some attention and that he never would do that, but he’s thought about it”. The weird comments have happened here and there over a few subjects, leaving me dead in my tracks thinking “what the fuck was that? Where did that comment even come from?”
I have begged him to meet me half way outside of the bedroom, because I don’t feel emotionally connected anymore and that we really need help, and he’s still so dumbfounded that I won’t have sex even though I’ve clearly laid out the ways in which I’m hurting and feeling like we are falling apart. I can’t even remember the last time he told me he loved me first, that he appreciates me, is proud of me, feels lucky to have me, but he used to say those things.
At one point, I wrote him a very long, heartfelt letter stating exactly what was hurting me and why I was feeling the way I am. He read it and didn’t speak to me or even look at me for a week. LITERALLY. When he finally responded (opposite shifts and never any time to talk, a lot of our conversations have been letters or texts lately, because there’s no time/we never see each other and our in person fights derail anyways), he told me he “read my note and felt nothing and that he didn’t care, but knows that he should care so he’ll consider how he should feel.”
I have asked for counseling, to which he insisted he was never going to do again because it’s just a crying/shit-on-the-husband-fest (he is divorced once, I assume he went with his ex), he told me there’s nothing wrong with him, he doesn’t need someone telling him how to live his life, he’s happy with who he is and will not go to counseling. I told him it’s not an option anymore and so we went once (didn’t go well) and he reminded me more than once how stupid it was. I told him I want a husband that has a growth mindset and someone who is wanting to work on things with me, who takes me seriously when I say we need help, someone who is open to talking and communicating. He took offense that I don’t think he’s growth minded because of his spiritual journey and personal growth but I asked him, how are you showing up as a husband? He tells me “we don’t need to be checking in and talking about things”.
He says I’m trying to change him and want him to be different (because I’ve asked him for help around the house but he doesn’t see the mess the same so it doesn’t matter to him? But to me it does because it’s his mess too and we exist together, therefore we both need to be making an effort? I have taken on 90% of the household chores for a while now and let him know I need help and suddenly he’s saying I’m trying to change him and asking him to “put on his husband mask”, what does that even mean?????) I’ve asked him to attempt to speak my love language more (touch and words), as there’s hardly any intimacy between us (no hand holding, cuddling, hardly any affection outside the bedroom) and that’s asking him to be someone he is not?? Because he’s not touchy feely? He will slap my ass or grope my boobs (huge pet peeve and I’ve expressed that) and when I ask him for a hug instead, there’s push back? He gets mad and guilts me when I won’t drink with him (I don’t need or want to drink every night at home, sorry). One time he was poking and pinching at my sides and I asked him not to as it was making me uncomfortable (struggling with binge eating at the moment) and he got irritated and defensive because “he’s just playing and why can’t I have fun”.
Through all of this, I feel like I am the one saying I want to work on things, I love him and our life and let’s do better, let’s fix things, let’s grow together, I’m the one still making an effort to bridge the gap even though we are hurting, and all I’m hearing from him are all the ways he doesn’t like me: he thinks I’m boring (because I won’t drink with him), that I can’t do anything for him that he doesn’t do for himself (yes he literally said this, what do I even offer him?), that he fell in love with me for my independence and what am I doing now? (I uprooted my entire life and moved to another country to support him, I got a job within 2 weeks of being here and have since secured a government position, I’ve bought and paid off a car in 3 months, I go out and travel in a country where I can’t even speak the language, made friends, and he says I’m not independent?? WTF), that he doesn’t need me or this relationship and only fears I’m wasting his time. He can’t think of a single thing he appreciates about me (his words) when I feel I have given up everything and bend over backwards for him to care for him and our relationship. I really feel he doesn’t like me or respect me, but he’ll say he wants me around. He insists I don’t love him or like him, but I feel that is his own projection onto me. We are long distance again and I have expressed multiple times that it’s important to me to stay engaged and check in at least once daily, to say hi, and I’ve been doing that despite being incredibly busy myself, but he ghosts me constantly and is hardly reciprocating effort. I have hardly heard from him in a month, despite my efforts (I’m starting to feel like a damn fool by continuously reaching out, if I don’t text, we don’t talk, I’m tired of the games and have since pulled back but that feels so shitty to even have to do???). I want someone that WANTS to say hi to me and see how I’m doing???
I don’t feel I have a friend in him, as he never asks about me, my life, my inner world, what’s going on with me, does not express interest in my new jobs, new friends etc, when I am constantly interacting with his world and engaging with him. I have expressed to him I feel like I am his friend but he is not mine because he doesn’t express an interest. We do a lot of what he wants and not a lot of what I want.
I told him I want to go home for my 30th birthday in July (it’s a big deal to me!) and I asked him to meet up with me in my state (he will already be in the states for a work trip). He told me he doesn’t want to come hang out with me on my birthday and was instead thinking of going to a big get together with his online friends in a different state to party and drink with them. That really hurt me. Do I not matter to him at all???
I have a big problem with his drinking (he has driven drunk at least 3 times that I know of, 2 of which I was in the car with him, once my family was also involved), I have expressed my concerns about his drinking and he says “I don’t think it’s a problem”. I told him I don’t want our future kids thinking it’s ok to wake up and pop open a beer for breakfast every day and he dismissed it.
We are not agreeing or seeing eye to eye on our next 5-10 years together: we want kids, but I want to be in the states closer to home so we can have our families be involved with our kids too, meanwhile he wants to live abroad as long as possible and retire out of the military overseas. He wants nothing to do with his family and doesn’t care to be close to them. I knew this, and thought I would be ok with it, but I’ve since realized that it’s actually really important to me to have our families involved and not be on the other side of the world at the moment. We can’t find a way to meet in the middle on this, but I don’t want to be this far away for too long (current trajectory is 3-7 years). He says he isn’t sure if he can compromise because he’s always done for others and not himself. Meanwhile, I feel like: maybe you should’ve thought about that before getting married? Aren’t your spouse’s feelings enough to move you in a direction that would be fulfilling for both of us, not just yourself? I agreed to 4 years overseas when I really didn’t want to, and now that I’m asking that we go home after, now it’s an issue?
We went to a marriage retreat that only further revealed what I have been hurting and expressing concern about: that I don’t feel connected and that we need to be digging deeper and investing more into our relationship. I cried so hard when we returned from that retreat and all he could tell me was how frustrated he was that he took us there only for me to come home and cry about it.
He is ok with pushing my boundaries and disregarding my feelings: example of this a couple months ago, I let him know multiple times and many hours in advance we had dinner reservations (we need to leave by 7). He gets ready around 630. I tell him, ok time to go. He says, just 5 more minutes (on his pc gaming and drinking). I say, ok it’s been 5 minutes, let’s go. He says, wait just another minute. 20 minutes pass and I’m now visibly irritated and telling him, I’m leaving, now we’re going to be late. He gets pissy and storms behind me, I let him know that it’s really important to me to be on time for things and I felt really disrespected by him making us late. He told me with attitude that “it’s fine” and it’s “not a big deal because we’ll still be there and we’ll get there when we get there”.
In the store, I will ask for his input on groceries and he will mutter under his breath to leave him alone, only to admit later that he did that and it was disrespectful: but just as an admittance and matter of fact, nothing more, like he’s ok with disrespecting me and declaring it??
Honestly there’s still so much to this, but it’s getting long - bottom line, I just really feel he doesn’t respect me or like me. I don’t feel like he loves me as a husband should or how I envision a marriage to be. I feel a lot of disinterest and complacency. I wonder if he could ever even properly be there for me in the ways I would want my husband to be (what happens when my dog or parents die, is he just going to dismiss my feelings then too and tell me to get over it? He is very emotionally avoidant, numb and dismissive). I don’t feel loved, supported, heard or understood, I feel so incredibly lonely in our marriage. I feel I am reaching a breaking point and it hurts deeply. He was NEVER like this, our relationship used to be so good and I have no idea what happened or why things changed but I am deeply unhappy now and don’t see a way forward with an unwilling partner who will not participate or sees nothing wrong. I deserve better and I want a husband and partner in life that is just as invested and just as loving and interested in me and willing to grow, as I am to him. I’m a damn good wife and I know that, I know what I have to offer, and I want someone that sees that and appreciates that. I feel my husband is very childish and immature and emotionally unavailable, I have wondered but whether or not he is manipulative doesn’t really matter and I don’t think labels are helpful, at this point all I know is I’m hurting and this isn’t working for me.
Of course this is only my side of the story, and no I have not been perfect. I have found myself in a dark, contemptuous state of mind towards him and tried my best to turn that around and reflect and do things differently. I am reading books, listening to podcasts, going to counseling, trying to model to him real apologies (sincerely too). He will say that I criticize him (I do have a harsh start up at times but have since tried to communicate softer and take more responsibility for my feelings and not find fault in his actions), that I want him to be someone he is not (he says I want him to put on a husband mask??), that he feels ugly and rejected because I won’t have sex with him, that I’m hurting him (but I’m honestly confused as to how because he can’t give specifics when I ask how or what I can do differently).
Sometimes I just feel so done with this and like it’s not worth it. I gave up everything to be in another country with him, I gave up friends, family, a career that I wanted to pursue, EVERYTHING, and this does not feel worth the pain I am feeling being so far away from the things that bring me joy outside of him. I feel deeply unfulfilled day to day.
We used to be so happy. He was so sweet and nurturing and cared for me, took interest in me, prioritized me. We had a wonderful life and home together, supported each other’s dreams and desires, used to communicate openly without defense or combative behavior. This is so left field for him/us that it’s left me deeply confused and feeling so much ambivalence. I used to feel #1 to him and now I just feel like his roommate.
Jesus this is long, if you read it and have any advice, thank you. I feel so alone in these feelings and don’t want to dump on my family and friends more than I have already. I am in individual counseling and that helps but I just needed to get it out of me and into the void.
TL/DR: basically I feel like I started challenging some bad behaviors and speaking up when my feelings were hurt (previously I guess I was the “cool girl” and chill and wouldn’t speak up and now I have resentment), and our relationship has become toxic. I am constantly torn between should I stay or should I go? I really don’t have much optimism anymore as my husband will spin things around and blame me, and I’m really not trying to act like a victim here, but he doesn’t take accountability or step up into being a leading man or husband and I’m tired. I’m tired of fighting, feeling sad, being long distance from my family and life in what feels like a failing marriage and not feeling like I’m being met half way on repairing/moving forward in a healthy manner.

People keep saying God is love. I can’t really argue with that but it seems to me a small box to put God in. The following of this seems to be , “you are perfect the way you are”. This is where I can’t quite square this circle. We are loved and redeemable by God but he intends for us to be transformed into something… better. We are not perfect, we are all sinners and fall short.
Is there anything we actually condemn? Anything we consider sin? Heard one Episcopalian say Satanist temple was preferable to some Baptist churches.
Are we called to anything higher?
The liturgy is wonderful but it doesn’t seem to call us to do anything other than not to judge people. I know this isn’t explicitly what is said but it seems to add up that way from all that is unsaid and from all that’s allowed.
What is good?

So lets say I dislike this Girl but I Think I handled it the wrong Way. So I had a project with a Girl and a boy from my class last year and it went horribly wrong and I didnt feel very good mentally and I feel like everyone ignored the fact that I didnt feel very good and it was the worst week of my life (yet) and lets just say we failed and later the teacher Said He was sorry for What happened even though I also Think it was the groups fault but apperently the Girl from the group thought we had become friends even though I just tried to be civil and we havent talked about the project and how it still affects me. I just feel like She assumes She knows me and assumes that we were friends even though I was just trying to be nice so She wouldnt cause some drama. I dont want to be friends with her. I have talked to some mutual friends and they Said She was hurt/sad about me unadding her on Snapchat did but when I explained why I did it they didnt take a side which might be good but Idk What to do!

I am currently working for a company as a contractor (thanks to the shitty job market situation in the US) and I'm hoping to get a full time role somewhere and was also preparing accordingly till a few weeks ago, I went into severe depression due to a lot of reasons like not being able to socialize easily, not having a gf and my job being equally fucked one. I even started to lose my appetite and the will to do basic stuff. However there's a girl from a different team in my workplace and it seems as she's interested in me and often we say hello to each other whenever we see each other and sometime recently I began to have a crush on her. So last week I decided to talk with her and accordingly we exchanged numbers after talking around 15-20 mins. She even added me in her friends' group as well and I believe I got a good start. Now here's the problem, I'm already overthinking about a lot of things about myself and here I am getting along with a girl too. Though everything seems fine with her, I'm getting worried about her for no fucking reason and I don't know how to deal with all of this. Can someone please advise on how not to be worried about myself or the situations I face? It is seriously draining me out, both physically and mentally.

Alright, I get it, Homelander is everyone's favorite punching bag, and for good reason I'd say. So in the spirit of that, since so many characters can defeat Homelander a thought came to me, maybe it isn't about if they can win against Homelander, because the answer is often yes. Rather, how long would it take them to do it?
But first, a few ground rules:

• No Cosmic/Deity/Otherwise Godlike level characters. So no Beyonder, Eternity, Dr. Manhattan, etc. Reason is simple, these characters could snap their fingers and kill Homelander in a nanosecond which would not be particularly interesting.
  
• Base Power set and equipment only, so no Infinity Gauntlets or the like. For those without powers, I'm going to give them a bit of grace for the sake of preperation, but certainly no Fenrir or 6th Dimensional Batsuits are allowed.
  
• No Time Travel or Dimensional Travel or any other time and space warping shenanigans that could either prevent the fight or end it in a nanosecond.
  
• It is not necessary to kill Homelander, only to render them unable to fight.
  

With those out of the way, lets get to the catagories:

• Any%: Beat Homelander in the fastest time possible, only the actual fight counts for time, prep time and talking/villain gloating are excluded.
  
• 100%: Beat Homelander in the fastest time possible with all steps in the battle process taken into account. Prep time and any talking or gloating do count for time.
  
• NoPowers%: Beat Homelander in the fastest time possible without possessing any superpowers. Prep time is included but talking is not.
  
• Gloat%: Beat Homelander in the fastest time possible while talking, monologuing and/or villain gloating as much as possible during the fight.
  
• Drunk%/Dank%: Beat Homelander in the fastest time possible while drunk (Drunk%) or high on Marijuana (Dank%). Prep time and talking excluded from time.
  

With those out of the way, here's a couple bonuses:
BONUS: Whose fight with Homelander would be the most entertaining to watch?
BONUS 2: Which fight would be the most embarrassing/humiliating for Homelander?

Maybe it's not for me at least, unfortunately.
Everyone seems to think that coming out and living your life after coming out is like going from hell to heaven. Of course it's fucking good (for most people) and I wouldn't discourage anyone from living as their authentic self. But this is not really for everyone. Wether your a minor and depend on a transphobic family or your an adult with a life already set, coming out might change someone's life more negatively than positively in some cases. Specially if you don't have any safe space and friends who support you, to fill the positive side of your live. If you lean only on yourself it is really hard.
I'm generalizing about this topic but this is actually my situation. I haven't come out to anyone yet expect for a few friends who I don't even have contact with anymore so it doesn't change anything. But keep living like I am (pretending to be something I'm not and hiding my true self) feels impossible. Life doesn't feel worth living at all. But regardless of that I'm not depressed because it took me so much time to understand myself that now I find comfort in knowing and exploring this new knowledge. I know my truth and since no one else knows they can't judge me for it. It's quite a comfort zone but it's killing me.
I'm not currently working, I quite my job a while ago for reasons that don't matter right now. I don't have any friends anymore because I worry so much about people's judgement that I found it easier to cut contact with everyone I knew would judge me instead of having them in my life and walking on eggs with them, pretending to be something I'm not just to please them. I live with my parents and barely come out of the house. I dropped university and have no plans on continuing my studies, it's just so draining to live a lie. I don't want to go back to having a "life", working, going out, socializing. I don't want to meet anyone. I haven't searched for a new job because I don't wanna feel like I'm living a lie again. And I don't wanna make friends having to worry if they'd be accepting of me or not. I don't wanna make anything to go after my dreams because I already killed all of them. I feel like my life is over and I'm a living-dead.
So the best option maybe would be to come out, right? Well not for me, because when I consider all of the factors in my life (impossible to explain everything here), after I come out things could go so bad and get so much worst in an unbearable way for me. I'm weak when it comes to dealing with judgement. I can't handle it, I'm such a people pleaser and I'm scared of what people think. I can't deal with the expectations, for example: my mom will expect me to change from day to night but I'm not a cishet men, I don't wanna be the male stereotype and dealing with this expectations is gonna make me feel more dysphoric and confused. And I can't take seeing my mom embarrassed of me, she was already embarrassed when she thought I was a lesbian (and I never even confirmed, I actually denied). I can't take my father thinking I'm crazy or whatever. He's afraid of the internet so he's gonna think someone manipulated me and it's the internet's fault. I can't take my siblings talking shit about me with my mom, everyone giving their opinions and judging me for "only wanting attention". One of my siblings even...kinda knows... that I'm possibly trans (this sibling even identifies with the same feelings), we haven't talked openly about this, using the word "trans" but we know...we just know...but this sibling would judge me so much for coming out. So much. And I can't deal with all of this and I only talked about my close family.
I grow up having so many people hating me and my family for reasons that don't even make sense. My uncles, ants, cousins and all have always hated and judged me/us for everything: for what I ate, for eating, for not eating, for being introverted, for liking to get dressed (as if I were super vain), for things I did and didn't do. They just hate me/us and my parents agree on many of their complains (like being introverted). I can't imagine dealing with this people having more reasons to criticize me, I've had enough already. I've been suffocating with this since I was born. Imagine adding transphobia to that: it's unbearable, at least for me.
And this is why a few years ago when I understood myself, I started cutting contact with everyone that could possibly criticize me for being trans. This includes all of the friends I had because I knew they wouldn't be supportive (don't miss them anyway) and avoiding family meetings with this people that already hate me because I don't wanna keep pretending. This was fucking isolating, for a long time I felt so alone and it hurt so much. But now after a while I'm beginning to feel free from these people, feeling like I own my life and don't have to fear them. Except that only worked with friends and people from school, because my parents still keep contact with their relative family and talk to them about everything. I simply can't imagine dealing with them.
Once I come out I'm gonna NEED to be validated, and I will NEED more than ever to pass. That's what cishet society made to us: feel like we don't belong and don't have a place to be alive in this world. Unless we can pass as one of them. I know I'm gonna feel even worst for not passing and not being respected and being even more judged. And since I'm not currently working I can't imagine trying to find a job being trans. I'm young and no one will take me seriously and I can't stand up for myself. Yes, I'm this weak. Will I have to go back to the closet if I ever come out? That's very possible to happen. And people are even gonna say I detransitioned and it was just a phase.

https://archive.org/details/cw-30-11/page/42/mode/1up
Excerpt:
When he came to the United States in April 2008, Joseph Ratzinger, now Pope Benedict XVI, met with President George W. Bush. After the President’ remarks, the Pope gave a short talk. In it he profusely praised America and the principles behind its founding, thereby ignoring at least a hundred years of pontifical pronouncements on the proper ordering of society and the church to the state. He approved of the myths about American existence and history that are continuously reinforced, in one form or another, to the captive audience in the United States:
“From the dawn of the Republic, America’s quest for freedom has been guided by the conviction that the principles governing political and social life are intimately linked to a moral order based on the dominion of God the Creator. The framers of this nation’s founding documents drew upon this conviction when they proclaimed the self-evident truth that all men are created equal and endowed with inalienable rights grounded in the laws of nature and of nature’s God... [RJeligious beliefs were a constant inspiration and driving force, as for example in the struggle against slavery and in the civil rights movement....Americans continue to find their strength in a commitment to this patrimony of shared ideas and aspirations....[A]ll believers have found here the freedom to worship God in accordance with the dictates of their conscience, while at the same time being accepted as part of a commonwealth in which each individual group can make its voice heard....the preservation of freedom calls for the cultivation of virtue, self-discipline, sacrifice for the common good and a sense of responsibility towards the less fortunate. It also demands the courage to engage in civic life and to bring one’s deepest beliefs and values to reasoned public debate... Democracy can only flourish, as our founding fathers realized, when political leaders and those whom they represent are guided by truth and bring the wisdom born of firm moral principle to decisions affecting the life and future of the nation.”
Ratzinger, like most people exposed to American culture and to the weaponized form of Americanism developed by Murray, Luce, and the CIA during the Cold War, may not have fully understood the effect of American propaganda when it was happening, though he should have at some point in his 80 some years. The effects of succumbing to American propaganda, especially TAP, are pernicious. One comes to view America as the ideal for the social, cultural, and political organization of peoples and societies, and that opens the door to all sorts of evil and mischief, not the least of which is domination by the City of Man.
Americas apologists, especially through TAP, say that the Church has no rightful and exalted position in society, and that all one needs is the natural law with the Holy Spirit directly enlightening everyone. None of these ideas are Catholic, but RatzingeBenedict has indicated his allegiance to them all the same in a number of public events, such as the one in 2008 at the White House and more recently the one before the Bundestag on September 22, 2011.
Accepting TAP and America as the ideal means rejecting Christ, for it means rejecting the Faith and His Church with its rightful place of preeminence, as the country’s religion. People who accept TAP come to believe in America as the ideal, necessarily accept a corrupt form of Christianity because America, and its propaganda justifying it, is a Protestant construct. Hence, to accept America as the ideal is to fall under the power of the Jews as Dr. E. Michael Jones pointed out in his scholarly work on the Jews, The Jewish Revolutionary Spirit and Its Impact on World History.
THE HOLY SPIRIT
While the Holy Spirit keeps him from writing encyclicals that are erroneous, Ratzinger a/k/a Pope Benedict XVI is an American in his speeches, policies, and personal opinions, which he seems to enjoy spreading about, and which the media is quick to pick up. As this is being written, a report has issued from what used to be the East German police, the Stasi, and according to Zenit.org, Ratzinger was a “fierce foe” of Communism. This bit of evidence strongly militates in favor of Ratzinger’s having become an American in thought and worldview. (It would be interesting to know what the CIA has on Ratzinger.)
This colonization of Ratzinger’s mind by the Americans to view America as the ideal explains a lot, not the least of which is the reason our joy at his elevation to the Papacy was replaced over the years by bewilderment. With his many public appearances and talks that are devoid of mention of Christ and promotion of a decidedly American worldview, and with such writings as Jesus of Nazareth, and Light of the World, we see the danger posed to Catholics. Instead of seeing the world with its many problems through the lens of the Gospels, RatzingeBenedict sees the world as an American would. He therefore gives credence to and endorsement of America. Being an American is not compatible with being a Catholic, and Ratzinger’s many statements while serving as Pope have caused many a Catholic to stumble and become confused without offering any solution to so many troubles that beset them, and without offering any way to evangelize the world for Christ as He commanded in Matthew 28:18-20. Catholicism and Americanism are in conflict. Catholicism orders all we do and think towards serving God. Americanism orders all one does and thinks to serving Mammon. The twain shall never meet.

So, having created my Runesmith Archetype as well as a Khazalid Runework mechanic, I'm going to build four more archetypes, each representing an aspect of Duardin society. It is strongly encouraged that you check out my Runesmith archetype, because at least two of these archetypes start with runes.
First we have the Warden Prince - a frontline fighter who also has some room to dabble in leadership or diplomacy skills.
Then there's the Cogsmith - a character with high crafting who is primarily focused on ranged damage using black powder weaponry, but also gets bonuses when operating war machines or artillery.
After that is the Ranger - a versatile class that specializes in stealth and ranged combat, but also has the tools needed to be a decent frontline fighter in a pinch.
Lastly there is the Alms Matron. The Alms Matron is a name I pulled from a novel called Chronicles of the Wanderer. From what I gather they're basically the Priestesses of Valaya. The Alms Matron is primarily a support class who can use Miracles - I've taken a bunch of thematic miracles from Alarielle, Grimnir, and Grungni, and reflavoured them around Valaya. She also has access to a number of skills and talents that may serve the party outside of combat.
All-in-all I feel like I've laid the groundwork to have a relatively balanced well-rounded party consisting of nothing but Dispossessed.
WARDEN PRINCE
Warden Kings are the rulers of the Dispossessed Clans, and like most Kings, they require heirs. A Warden Prince is the son of a Warden King. From a young age they are trained to fight and to lead, with the expectation that their father shall not live forever. However only one of these children - the eldest son - can take their father's throne. Which then raises the question of what the remainder will do. Some serve the new King as generals and advisors, while others are married off to prominent figures within the clan, or to different clans entirely.
Others become Soulbound.
Many young Dispossessed Princes (and Princesses) who find themselves low in the line of succession leap at the chance to join a Binding. It is an opportunity to earn glory for themselves and their clan without forever remaining in the shadow of their older siblings, and it is also a respectable way to avoid being assigned an unwanted marriage. It also provides a chance to travel the Mortal Realms and potentially even explore the lost Karaks - many Soulbound Warden Princes dream of the day they can say they were the first to set foot in their clan's ancestral home in over five centuries.
A Warden Prince is a trained and well-equipped fighter, who due to the length of Duardin lifespans may already have decades of experience under their belt. Not only can they fight, but they can also lead - having been raised with the expectation that they will play a commanding role in either the court or the armies of their father or one of their brothers. It is possible that a Warden Prince may even have experience leading Throngs into battle. Beyond that, Warden Princes are also royalty, which may prove to be a boon when interacting with the aristocracy of other factions. Thus they are a welcome addition to any Binding of Order.
While travelling with the Binding, a Warden Prince may insist that they explore any lost Karaks they discover if it does not interfere with the Binding's other obligations. The Prince may wish to either scout them out for possible reclamation, or recover lost treasures. The Prince may appear enthusiastic about this at first, but once they finally walk the empty halls they may find themselves becoming depressed, melancholy, or even angry as they are struck by the full reality of their people's fall from glory.
Attributes

• Body: 4
• Mind: 2
• Soul: 2

Core Talent: Mountain Stance (Champions of Order - ignore the "Alarith Stoneguard" requirement.)
Talents (Choose 3)

• Ancestral Grudge (Champions of Order)
• Armour Expert (Champions of Order)
• Bulwark
• Crushing Blow
• Diplomat
• Duelist (Champions of Order)
• Intimidating Manner
• Lead The Way (Champions of Order)
• Opportunist
• Rending Blow
• Shield Mastery

Core Skill: Weapon Skill
Skills (7 XP)

• Athletics
• Awareness
• Determination
• Dexterity
• Fortitude
• Guile
• Intimidation
• Intuition
• Lore
• Might
• Reflexes
• Weapon Skill

Equipment

• Choose Between: Warhammer and Shield, Battleaxe and Shield, Greataxe, or Greathammer.
• Common Heavy Armour.
• One Weapon Rune or Shield Rune (see my Runesmithing Class for more information.)
• A map of one of the eight Mortal Realms, displaying all known Karaks within it (including yours) as well as the passages during the height of the Khazalid Empire. It may have other landmarks on it as well (such as Realmgates) but it dates back to the Age of Myth and therefore may be unreliable. The map is neatly folded and stored in a well-crafted airtight case of wood and metal.
• 50 Drops of Aqua Ghyranis.

COGSMITH
The Ironweld Arsenal - the great union of Duardin and Human Engineering. As Engineers of the Ironweld Arsenal, Cogsmiths are vital to the Cities of Sigmar war machine. Working closely with their human counterparts, they design, build, maintain, and repair the machinery, vehicles, artillery, and firearms wielded by Sigmar's mortal armies.
It is perhaps little surprise then that many Cogsmiths are happy to become Soulbound. An extended lifespan aside and ample opportunity to test out their new inventions aside, they are also well-accustomed to working alongside and learning from other Order factions. The Cogsmiths for their part bring a lot to the table - they are expert tinkerers, able to help repair and even improve the weapons of their Binding. They are well-versed in war machines and vehicles, able to get more out of them than most. A Cogsmith is also a formidable combatant in their own right, possessing experience with a wide array of firearms and war marchines.
Attributes

• Body: 2
• Mind: 4
• Soul: 1

Core Talent: Ironweld Engineer (see below)
Talents (Choose Three)

• Combat Ready
• Combat Repairs
• Crack Shot (Champions of Order)
• Creator (Champions of Order)
• Forbidden Knowledge
• Gunslinger
• Incidential Incendiaries (Steam and Steel)
• Point Blank Range
• Quick Reload
• Tinkerer (Steam and Steel)
• Savvy
• Scholar

Core Skill: Crafting
Skills (9XP)

• Arcana
• Awareness
• Ballistic Skill
• Crafting
• Determination
• Dexterity
• Guile
• Lore
• Reflexes

Equipment

• Choose between: Rifle, or Blunderbuss, or two Repeater Pistols.
• Choose between: Warhammer or Repeater Pistol.
• Common Medium Armour.
• Smith's Tools.
• Engineering Plans and Schematics.
• 50 Drops of Aqua Ghyranis

Ironweld Engineer
You are a member in good standing of the Ironweld Arsenal. Whenever you are operating a war machine, a vehicle, or a weapon mounted on a vehicle, and you are required to make a Ballistics Skill, you may choose to either gain double dice from your Training in Ballistics Skill or substitute your Crafting Skill instead - whichever one is more likely to yield a better result.
In addition to this, as an Endeavour and with 50D worth of crafting materials you can spend one week tinkering with a handheld non-Aetheric firearm to improve it. With three attempts, if you pass an Extended Crafting Test of DN 5:8, you may apply one of the following upgrades:

• Improved Sights: When using this firearm, the wielder's accuracy increases by one step.
• Longer Barrel: The firearm's range is extended by one zone.
• Double Barrel: The firearm now has a second barrel. When you make an attack with this weapon, you may either treat it as a dual-wielding attack and split your dice pool, or as a single attack that does 2 extra damage. Unfortunately, whatever weapon you apply this to also gains the Reload trait if it does not have it already.
• Armour-Piercing: The firearm gains the Penetrating Trait.
• Armour-Breaking: The firearm gains the Rend Trait.

Only two of these upgrades may be active on a weapon at a time. They are not permanent and can be changed.
DISPOSSESSED RANGER
When asked to describe the natural gifts of the Duardin, few would ever think to list stealth as one of them. But it is - if they put their mind to it. Rangers fulfill a vital niche in Duardin armies - that of scouts, skirmishers, infiltrators, and sharpshooters. In the days of the Khazalid Empire, it was the rangers who kept borders clear of Monsters, Greenskins, and Beastmen. It was the rangers who would not only warn settlements of incoming attack, but also harry and harass the foe by any means necessary while the Throngs were mustered. Even today long after the Khazalid Empire's fall, the Dispossessed Clans have find use for rangers. Indeed, it was the rangers who weathered the Fall the easiest, for they were accustomed to wandering without a home.
The life of a Ranger is that of a wanderer and outcast - spending weeks or even months traversing the wilds, and camping under the open stars. The only Duardin who would voluntarily seek out this life are either outcasts or free-spirits, independently-minded with a strong sense of wanderlust. It is a thankless job - their greatest deeds are committed far from any settlement or army, and therefore go unwitnessed. Most Duardin find their lifestyle and tactics disturbing, and thus, treat them with (usually unwaranted) suspicion.
It is little wonder then that a Ranger would be eager to become Soulbound. As a Soulbound, they are more likely to be working with people who have fewer qualms about their tactics, and may even appreciate their skillset. They can spend greater periods of time travelling, being deployed throughout the Mortal Realms in direct service to a higher power, with no obligation of a clan to return to. It is also possible that the Ranger may have a Criminal past they are attempting to escape from. Members of a Binding may also find a Ranger's company preferable to that of other Duardin, for Rangers tend to be less hidebound than most of their Dispossessed kin, while still retaining a strong sense of duty and integrity.
Attributes

• Body: 3
• Mind: 3
• Soul: 1

Core Talent: Hunter
Talents (Choose Four)

• Alley Cat
• Backstab
• Combat Ready
• Crack Shot (Champions of Order)
• Criminal
• Hit and Run
• Iron Stomach
• Loyal Companion
• Observant
• Orientation
• Patient Strike
• Point-Blank Range
• Quick Reload
• Sever
• Sleight of Hand
• Vanish

Core Skill: Ballistics Skill
Skills (9 XP)

• Athletics
• Awareness
• Ballistics Skill
• Beast Handling
• Dexterity
• Fortitude
• Intuition
• Nature
• Reflexes
• Stealth
• Survival
• Weapon Skill

Equipment

• Great Crossbow
• Choose between: Greataxe or two Handaxes.
• Common Light Armour
• Ranger Cloak (see below)
• Flask of Duardin Amberwhisky
• 132 Drops of Aqua Ghyranis

Ranger Cloak
This hooded cloak is dyed to blend in with the environment. Choose one of the Terrain types listed in the Hunter Talent (it does not need to be the same one you picked as part of the Talent.) While adventuring in this terrain, you can double the dice you receive from Training in Stealth. As a week-long Endeavour you can spend 50D to change the dye.
ALMS MATRON
Little is known about the Alms Matrons - also known as the Priestesses of Valaya, Duardin Ancestor Goddess of Hearth and Home. The birth rate of Duardin females was already low to begin with, and most Dispossessed Clans are fiercely protective of their women as a result. Even more confounding is the worship of the dead goddess Valaya. Despite all this, Priestesses of Valaya are an integral part of Dispossessed society - primarily serving as healers and mediators. They wield immense influence over the internal politics of their clans.
It is not impossible that, in less hidebound clans, Duardin of other genders may come to serve Valaya in the same capacity. But it would be regarded as unusual.
Valaya's fate remains a mystery. Some say she is dead, others say she is in hiding. Some say she died during the Great Betrayal, others say her death came long before that - possibly during the last days of the World-That-Was. Some say she will return, as the Fyreslayers believe Grimnir will, while others have given up any hope of this. In either case, it takes far more than the death of their God to make a Duardin abandon their faith.
Additional puzzlement comes in the fact that some Alms Matrons have been known to invoke Miracles of their goddess. Scholars can only speculate as to why this is - perhaps it is due to the power of their faith, or maybe Valaya does still exist in some form. Humans and Aelven scholars have also put forward the idea that perhaps Alarielle or Grungni are behind this.
It is exceedingly rare for an Alms Matron to become a Soulbound, primarily because it is difficult to convince a servant of Hearth and Home to leave both of those things behind. But it can happen, especially if there are other Duardin in the Binding or the Binding's goals align with the Clan's. Though not well-suited to direct combat, Alms Matrons can serve their Bindings in other useful ways - as healers, diplomats, scholars, and priests.
Attributes

• Body: 1
• Mind: 3
• Soul: 3

Core Talent: Blessed (Valaya - See Below)
Talents (Choose Four)

• Any Miracle of Valaya.
• A Warm Meal
• Acute Sense
• Diplomat
• Forbidden Knowledge
• Observant
• Scholar
• Silver Tongue
• Strong Soul
• Caregiver (Champions of Order)
• Compelling Music (Champions of Order)
• Stirring Voice (Champions of Order)
• Alchemist (Steam and Steel)

Core Skill: Devotion
Skills (9 XP)

• Arcana
• Awareness
• Determination
• Devotion
• Dexterity
• Entertain
• Guile
• Intuition
• Lore
• Medicine
• Reflexes
• Theology

Equipment

• Quarterstaff
• Pistol
• Common Light Armour
• Two Consumable Runes
• Holy Symbol of Valaya
• 175D to either keep or spend on whatever adventuring gear you wish.

MIRACLES OF VALAYA
(Note: These Miracles are ultimately just reflavoured Miracles of Grungni, Grimnir, and Alarielle from the Core Rulebook and Champions of Order.)
Hearth Queen's Balance
Target: 1
Range: Close
Duration: Instant
You can heal the wounds of another by taking on a portion of their suffering. A creature you touch can reduce the severity of one Wound. In exchange, you must take a Minor Wound or increase the severity of a Wound you already have.
Blessing of Valaya
Target: Zone
Range: Long
Duration: Permanent
You infuse the earth with the essence of life, causing plants in an area to grow and bloom. This can be used to bolster crops and revitalise a land tainted by Chaos. You can also choose to shape the growth into simple structures, such as growing winding roots and vines into a ladder or small bridge, or creating cover for you and your allies. In combat, these simple structures can form bridges between Zones, or can be used to give one Zone the Cover Trait
The plants and wildlife created by this Miracle are permanent but will decay naturally if left unattended in an inhospitable environment.
Wrath of the Hearthqueen
Cost: 1 Mettle
Target: Zone
Range: Medium
Duration: Sustained
You fill an area with uncomfortable searing heat, scalding and disorienting any who trespass there. Choose a Zone within Medium Range. That Zone gains the Difficult Terrain and Minor Hazard Traits. Additionally, creatures entering or starting their turn in the Zone must make a DN 6:1 Body (Might) Test or be Restrained until the start of their next turn. When you use this Miracle, you can choose to spend an additional Mettle to increase the Complexity of this Test by 1, to DN 6:2. On your turn, you can spend 1 Mettle as a Free Action to sustain this Miracle.
Heat of the Hearth
Target: Zone
Range: Self
Duration: Instant
A wave of heat washes over your zone, comforting your allies and scalding your foes. Make a 5:1 Soul (Devotion) test.

• You and your allies within your zone recover one toughness per success.
• Enemies within your zone suffer one damage per success.

You may spend a mettle to trigger both effets.
Find Strength in Her Absence
Target: 1
Range: Long
Duration: Sustained
Cost: 1 Mettle
Choose an allied target within long range. While the target has no allies in the same Zone, its Melee and Accuracy increase by two steps and it gains +2 Armour. If an ally enters the target’s Zone, this Miracle’s effect is suppressed until the ally leaves the Zone again. On your turn, you can spend 1 Mettle as a Free Action to sustain this Miracle.
Hearth Queen's Endurance
Target: Zone
Range: Self
Duration: Sustained
Make a DN 6:1 Soul (Devotion) Test. Whenever you or your allies within Short Range suffer Damage caused by fire or heat, reduce the Damage by 1 for each success. On your turn, you can spend 1 Mettle as a Free Action to sustain this Miracle.
Cauterise
Target: 1
Range: Close
Duration: Instant
Heat can be used as a tool of healing. Make a DN 4:1 Soul (Devotion) Test as you place a Holy Symbol of Valaya on a wounded ally. They recover Toughness equal to 1 plus the number of successes. When you use this Miracle, you can choose to spend a Mettle to add your Soul to the Toughness recovered.
Comforting Embers
Target: Allies within range
Range: Short
Duration: Sustained
Cost: 1 Mettle
You call forth a rain of glowing embers that fill your allies with warmth and encourage them to press on. When you use this Miracle, allies within range increase their Speed by one step and ignore Difficult Terrain until the beginning of your next turn, though they cannot Flee or Retreat until the Miracle ends. On your turn, you can spend 1 Mettle as a Free Action to sustain this Miracle.

Have you ever used a dating app called Bumble? If you did or if ever you will do, please beware of a man named Jay Domingo.
HE is a 39-year-old lecherous and egocentric man of Angeles City, Pampanga. He is an old man who is still living under the roof of his parents. In the app he is portraying to find his life partner or seeking for long-term relationship as what his profile bio will tell you, BUT it will get you all wrong. As he was just using it as a bait as if saying he was seriously looking for match, but to tell you the dark truth, it was a false advertisement just to get dates, get laid and taste all women he finds attracted to. Technically his preys will consist of girls or women ranging from a senior highschool to ladies of early mid-thirties.
The tactic of this man involves inviting you to have a coffee date with him and telling you stories about his exes. More particularly about his failed engagement in 2020. As according to him his fiancée has found another man and leaves him hanging during the pandemic. A very sad story, right? Surely you will fall for this and will give him the empathy as the pitiful guy that has been cheated to. But the thing is he is the one who is playing around and looking for pleasure beyond his fiancée’s knowledge.
In addition to that, he will also be sharing to you stories about his past dates. A senior high, who is maltreated at home. A lady who always bring her mother as a chaperone to their dates. His other emotionally immature dates and the list will go on… He will even tell you how he touches them and do stuffs with their body.
When he sees that you are not liking him or not attracted to him. He will make efforts to make you fall for him, he will be offering services such as to do house repairs, free transportation (hatid-sundo), accompany you to do stuffs like shopping, groceries, etc. On top of that he will be bringing the Pomeranian dog (the one he had on his profile) on your dates, to make you so into it like he is really engaging you to see him as a good person who is caring but NOT.
Because of his fake gestures, you will think that there will be something serious going on between the two of you. But little did you know he is still dating other girls he was chatting on the app and doing the exact things he was offering and doing for you while you think you are dating.
Once you fall on his tactics and see that you started to develop an emotional attachment, he will be limiting his interaction with you and until the day comes that he will be ghosting you. And for that you will be questioning yourself worth, even asking yourself what have you done wrong?
There is NOTHIING wrong with you. It is not YOU; it is HIM. He is the one who is afraid of commitment. He doesn’t like to deal with relationship conflicts and when he feels that his date is getting too clingy, he becomes so distant, boastful, do things that will make you angry for you to give up on him. He is a Tito playboy that is just messing your naïve heart. He is coward jerk who is afraid to tell you that he just used you to shortly satisfy his needs.
You will observe this on his chat that he is so proud of himself. Will tell you that he is late bloomer, and he is not dating cheap girls or paying girls for pleasure. Surely, he does not because he is doing it cheaply in the app.
Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with dating and knowing a person and have an interaction with them. But using someone as a playtime is never an acceptable thing to do. Especially for those innocent ladies who are searching or looking for a decent kind of relationship.
This is a message for all the girls and women out there to be cautious in using dating platform or online dating app. To be meticulous in getting to know the guy well. Don’t fall for their good-looking profile, persistent fake chat or actions and stories. As scammers are not only using technologies for money but sex-maniacs are now using technology to take advantage of innocent ladies. I hope this article will awaken all the women out there to protect themselves to the people that can harm them and question their self-worth.
And for you Jay Domingo I wish you nothing but KARMA! F*ck you!

Basically I've realized that the only way to deal with sites like OF is to assume that everything you're seeing and hearing is a lie.
Get a message that says it was sent only to you but is suspiciously lacking in any info specific to you? It's a lie.
They say they will send you X if you go and like/comment on some amount of their posts? Probably a lie.
You bought a dick rate? They probably sent the same text/video response to 100 other people.
In fact, you might not even be talking to the person you think you are. Many creators will just hire someone else to handle the chatting or have their partner do it or something.
Ok, you don't want to pay for rates or sexting or anything that could just be a complete lie, so you want to buy a custom thing that ensures the creator must actually do at least a few minutes of work themselves? That will be several hundred dollars please. (Also you might never get it because it could turn out the entire account was fake and OF will side with the scammer)
Those "spin the wheel to earn a prize" things? Total scam, the creator can just pick which one they want to do, it's not up to chance.
The disclaimer things in their bio making various legal threats if you do anything with their content? Mostly BS. The only way you have a chance of seeing legal consequences is if you redistribute their content to others in a way that can be tied back to you.
Some of these disclaimers are hilarious and even try to prohibit DOWNLOADING the content... I'm sorry but did you think the internet worked by opening magical inter-dimensional portals between people's screens and nothing is ever stored on the end user's machine? If you thought that I have some bad news for you; if anyone can see any of your content, they have already downloaded it. End of story. These disclaimers are just more lies trying to scare you. You are safe to download as much as you want, as downloading it is a prerequisite to viewing it at all.
A creator is running some kind of contest/sweepstakes thing? Good chance it's a scam. You won't win and they won't provide any proof of giving something to the winner, so how would you know? Also some people host "fuck a fan" contests??.. Which is literally just prostitution except most people get nothing. Not really sure how that's legal.
Any basic demographic info you see like name, age, location, etc is probably also a lie, although I get that in those cases it's partially about anonymity.
I understand that some users want to be lied to because they are trying to live out some kind of fantasy with these sites. I also understand that many creators on the site are well-meaning people trying to make an honest living. But the sheer extent of the lying and lack of any kind of regulation or standards just makes it an awful experience. I don't think I'll ever give another dime to these sites, and just wanted to rant a little bit about them. Thanks for reading.

I am about 11 months post DDay and breakup and 7 months into NC.
For months I had known about this show coming up that I really wanted to attend. The band playing has been inactive for quite some time, but recently put out new music and booked a tour. They're local to where I live, so it's been kind of a big deal that this band is active again.
My cheating ex has personal connections to this band, so despite the fact that he doesn't really like the music, I was 99% sure he would be at the show. Everytime I thought about going and bumping into him I got this sick feeling, this overwhelming wave of anxiety. I spent literal months mulling over whether or not to attend.
A bunch of my friends were going. I felt sad because I wanted to go have a fun time with friends, but worried that seeing my ex might make me emotional and my anxiety would rain on everyone else's parade. I didn't want to risk making this special event about me. I ultimately decided to let the universe decide. I didn't have a ticket, so I told myself if a ticket happened to fall in my lap and if one of my female friends (I'll call her S) who previously thought she couldn't attend ended up being able to go, then I would go. Sure enough, someone reached out saying they had a spare ticket if I wanted it and my friend texted me saying she managed to get the night off and would be there, so I went.
My ex was there, of course, watching the band from the side of the stage. I was in the crowd with a big group of my friends. The show was incredible. Everyone was having a great time, the energy was insane, the band sounded amazing. My best friend absolutely adores that band, so seeing him finally get to see them live and go absolutely bananas during their set just brought a huge smile to my face.
At the end of the night as the crowd was clearing out, I was standing in the middle of the floor talking to S as we waited for the rest of our group to reassemble. I saw my ex out of the corner of my eye leaning on the bar. I noticed him walking in my direction and thought "surely this man cannot be approaching me after everything he's put me through. Maybe there's someone behind me he's going over to."
Nope! He lingered a couple feet away waiting for me to finish talking to S so he could try to talk to me. I just looked at him, shook my head "no" and wagged my finger like I was scolding a bad puppy. He made a frown, nodded once, and just walked away.
I am SO PROUD OF MYSELF!! I've never been good at enforcing boundaries in romantic relationships. I won't lie; it was hard. Of course I wanted to talk to him. As messed up as it is, there's little parts of me that still miss him and love the person I thought he was. But I knew nothing useful or good would come of it. I'm also so proud of myself for not getting emotional, not yelling at him or saying something mean, not saying anything at all.... just maturely communicating that it was not okay he try to talk to me.
It felt good to enforce my boundary, but truthfully, that's really the only part that felt good. My ex was an alcoholic when we were together and he was absolutely hammered when I saw him the other night. As I was leaving, I saw him half-slumped in a seat at the bar upstairs from the venue and it made me sad. He clearly has not used the year since we've split to do any growing or soul searching. I fear he will one day die from alcoholism, but I know there's nothing I can do about it. Just sucks to watch someone self destruct that you once cared about, even if they did awful things to you.
If you read this, thank you. I didn't mean to ramble, but so much emotion and stress and energy went into this for me. I know it sounds dumb to be proud of just... going to see a band, but it really showed me I've come a lot farther in my healing than I thought.