Sad quotes about losing a father

I'm 17(f) and I'm always have been the one who takes care of my younger sister 14(f). Growing up I'm the second eldest among my five sisters and tend to take care of my younger siblings ever since they were a baby.
For a little background story, Both of my parents are very hard workers and most of the time they will prioritize their work over their children mostly my mother though. As a child I felt bad because they didn't have time for my siblings. So, I decided to take care of them by spending time with them after school and helping them anyway I can despite having a lot of things in my plate.
As I already stated above, I take care of my special need sister a lot. She has high functioning autism and more disabilities that I didn't know of since my mother didn't tell me anything about it even when I asked her about it. However, I know matter a fact that ever since she's a baby, she's tend to going in and out of the hospital to do a surgery on her spine because it is crooked when she was born and may or may not cause her to be as she is right now.
I really love my sister. I really do but taking care of someone with special needs takes 10 times of energy needed to take care of one child in my opinion. Since they're emotions and base on your emotions too which is quite draining. My other siblings doesn't really know how to properly take care of her because we'll she doesn't know how to properly go to the toilet. Therefore, she needs diapers to be changed like a baby. She also have a problem where she can't control how much she eat. She would eat till her body decided to vomit it out then she will eat again.
Other than that, she's bigger, stronger and heavier compared to all four of us combined. So it 100% hurt us a lot whenever she decided to throw a tantrum since my other siblings and I are skinner and lighter than my special need sister. In conclusion, my 14 year old sister acts like a 2 year old.
My sister isn't the problem, my mother is in my story. I love my mother but ever since she and my father divorced, she changed not in a good way. I live with my mother with my deadbeat step father, my special need sister and my 8 year old youngest sister. My elder sister and my fourth sister is quite lucky to not deal with my mother adult tantrums and gaslighting of us thinking we don't love her or etc.
Since taking care of my pre teen special need sister took a whole lot of energy and dealing with my parents divorced and moving to a new part of town and studying for my coming O'level exam this September took a 40 years off my life.I am extremely overwhelmed and exhausted.
I felt stressed out to the point I would slowly to not take care of my special need sister anymore properly. I felt like an asshole to feel and act like this because my sister is someone I really care about. I did tell my mother about how exhausted I felt and she on quote said that I shouldn't prioritize my exhaustion because I didn't care about her exhaustion. Which I do. I always will prioritize her over everything in my life.
So, whenever she said that I felt bad and just to suck it up even though I'm mentally and physically tired from everything. I don't really know what to do now to be honest because when I tired to prioritize myself, my mother would talk down to me saying I'm lazy and called me stupid for not taking care of my special need sister because I'm resting even when I got period cramps I can't rest because she's not resting.
I love my mother. I really do but this part of her personality is something that I don't like about her. I'm thankful for everything she ever done to me. So, AITAH for trying to prioritize myself?

I'm moving out of state in 2 days. I'm leaving for an out of state internship and luckily I have temporary housing for the next two months. I'm determined to stay in this new city as it's my dream city but I don't have any long term housing or a job yet even though I've applied to multiple places and I've done a few interviews. I also have no where to go back to. I can't go back to my parents' house and if I don't find housing after these two months I'll be homeless. I also literally only have a suitcase and my laptop. I only have 3k to find housing and sustain myself if I don't have a job. I have no financial support from anyone around me and my credit is awful because I had to max my card out to pay bills.
My first long-term relationship is falling apart miserably. We fight all the time and I'm pretty sure I'm about to go through a really bad break up and lose my best friend.
I have to leave my dog behind and I'm pretty sure Saturday will be the last day I'll ever see her. I know my bf won't let me come back and get her after we break up and I'm honestly not sure if I'll have the means to take care of her on my own. She also has really bad attachment issues and I'm scared she's going to spend the rest of her life thinking I abandoned her.
I also have to finish my M.A. thesis in the next two months on top of working full time and going to night classes.
On top of this I have the worst social anxiety. I've had multiple people tell me that I'm not going to survive on my own because of it and I think they may be right.
For context I'm 21. Every time I go online I see people my age from my hometown having fun, going to parties, going on vacation, and literally just enjoying life. I don't social media is just a highlight reel but I'm so jealous. One girl I know just got her B.A. and she doesn't even have to worry about search for a job because her father got her a position at his company. Another girl I know gets to spend all summer on vacation. I spent the past 2.5 years in an abusive relationship while everyone else my age is getting engaged. I know they probably have things going on behind the scenes but it feels like I constantly have to make choices and deal with things that everyone else my age doesn't have to because they have more support or because they had more stable upbringings.

Hello,
I was wondering if anyone else had this experience on Bupropion. I have ADHD and I am also postpartum dealing with PPD.
I am currently on week 2 of 150mg SR. I was feeling pretty suicidal before I started this medication, and I no longer feel that way. I don't feel happy or sad; I just feel kinda flat. However, if something happens to make me sad, I'm able to feel it and cry about it. I can laugh if something is funny. Food is still amazing for me. Yet, I am more quiet than normal. This has been great because I felt like I finally have a normal baseline and my mind has slowed down a bit. So i'm not not feeling completely flat, I still have my personality to some degree.
Today, my little family and I went for a hike, which has always been one of my hobbies/first lines of defence against my depression, and I noticed that I did not feel good. Normally when I'm working out, I feel the endorphins flowing through my body, I feel happy and motivated. Like when I am running and get a runners high.
Today, I just did not really enjoy it. Don't get me wrong, I did not hate it. It just did not make me feel how it normally did. I am wondering if this has happened to you, and if so, does it go away? How long did it take? This has been the only antidepressant that has worked for me, so I am praying it normalizes but I am feeling scared because this flatter feeling is better than feeling how I was. So I have to stick with the meds, I just don't want to lose more of myself than I did after having a baby. Especially hobbies that used to light up my world and are a big part of who I am.
Thanks in advance.

Part I of my Story on the Empress GF, which may or may not yet come as a Meme in this AU from u/Sweet_older-Sister. But whether or not, I wrote this up and wanted to share it with you, with Part II soon to follow.
WARNING: Is you expect this to be a harsh takedown or bashing of AU!Big E, I have to disappoint you. She WILL be criticized, but I personally prefer him/her to be a sympathetic, ultimately well-meaning, if highly flawed, Character. Also, the SO for Big E is both perpetual and a Psyker, just not one anywhere near her Level. That said, I kept them Gender-neutral, so if you wanna imagine them and Big E as Golden Space Lesbian Mommies, feel free to do so!
Regardless of all that, however, I mostly just hope you can enjoy this! Have fun!
I open the door to her chamber, paying no heed tot he noises of raging battle, clearly audible despite all the walls, doors and distance between us and them.
As always, despite the gold-plated…everything, the most radiant thing in this room is still her.
Tall and proud she stands as she puts on the last pieces of her golden armor, light glowing off o fit, pure and bright. Her mighty sword hangs by her side and her long, raven black hair is flowing down her back. When she turns around, her glowing eyes, which seemed so often to somehow hold both the untold wisdom oft he wises changes and yet also the boundless arrogance oft he most reckless fools widen upon seeing me, before they swiftly narrow again.
„…I told my Companions to keep you away“, she says, her voice sounding cold and rejecting.
„Well, too bad“, I say, meeting her eyes without fear. „They know better than to try and keep me away when the two of us have to talk.“
Anger briefly flares up in her eyes. „There is nothing to talk about. You are distracting me from preparing for battle!“, she says, her voice cold, harsh and regal, demanding obedience. „As your Empress, I order you to leave. At once!!“
Most other men and women would have crumbled at this moment. Hastily apologized and retreated.
But not me.
I stand my ground and return her cold glare without flinching. „…I am not your Subordinate“, I say, firmly and steadfast. „Not at this moment. Right now, I am your Consort and equal, and as such, I refuse that order!!“
Her eyes widen before she grits her teeth. „You DARE defy your Empress?!“ She stomps a foot on the ground. „I command you, LEAVE!!“
I narrow my eyes. „No.“
„I SAID LEAVE!!!“ Her scream shakes the room far more harshly than the distant Artillery Fire ever had. Her voice rings not just in my ears, but in my mind and soul, as psychic pressure seems to drown the room.
And still, I stand my ground and glare up at the Golden Giantess above me. „NO!!“
Her mask is slowly cracking, her eyes wide and her breathing starting to become uneven. „I…I ORDER you to LEAVE-“
„And I REFUSE!!“ My own shout is not nearly as impressive in terms of sheer power…but it seems to hit the Empress of Mankind like a whiplash.
Her breathing going ever more ragged, she turns away from me. „There is NOTHING to talk about, now!! Leave!!“
I clench my fist, a wave of anger rushing through me. „You think you can just shut me out like that?! Confine me to a secure Chamber while you rush off to your Doom?! You selfish BITCH!! That’s NOT how it works!! Didn’t you promise me, all these Millennia ago?! That we would see this through together, come what may?! That you would never ignore me or shut me out?!“ I snort bitterly. „But, well, I suppose you broke that last promise a while ago. What’s one more, eh?!“
I swear I can hear her breath hitch in her throat. My heart clenches at the sound, but I soldier on. She NEEDS to hear this.
„And where did that lead us?! Oh, right: Besieged in our Palace by our own daughters and their sons that have fallen prey to our worst enemies, with all that’s left to do being a reckless assault on their Leader that could well get you killed!! An assault that I just NOW learned about from one of our older sons!! How could I forget that?!“
„Stop it!!“, she growls. „I…I have to-“
„You ALWAYS ‚have to‘!! And yet, you have never stopped considering if maybe you SHOULDN’T!! That would have saved us a lot of trouble, wouldn’t it?!“ I shake my head, glaring at her. „Maybe it’s time for you to finally get that obstinate head out of your golden laurels-“
„STOP IT!!“
„-and stop being the Empress of Mankind for a few fucking minutes-“
„S-stop it!“
„-so I can finally have a real fucking talk with the woman I fell in love with again-“
„S…stop…“ Her voice sounds almost pleading now, but I steel my heart and prepare the final blow.
„BEFORE I MIGHT LOSE HER FOREVER, JUST LIKE WE LOST OUR DAUGHTERS, YOU STUBBORN OLD WOMAN!!!“
I am panting heavily, finally feeling the hot tears running down my face. I didn‘t even realize that I have begun to cry…but, laying my wounded heart bare like this has brought up all the pain and suffering from the last few years all too strongly.
Slowly, hesitantly, she turns back around to face me. The Golden Halo framing her head has vanished, as had much of her glow…and her eyes, usually so regal and proud, are now brimming with tears, looking so ancient, tired and sad as they turn towards me.
The Mask that is the Empress of Mankind had crumbled away…and what remains is the woman I had learned to know and love, all those Millennia ago, when we first met at on shores of old Albion.
A woman so old, tired, weary and sad, so beaten down and wounded that I had begun to fear she was forever lost.
„I…I am sorry…“ Her voice is almost a whimper, carrying untold grief and regret as she collapses onto her bed, which nearly broke from the weight. „I am s-so sorry…I…I ruined everything…!“
She buries her face in her hands and begins to sob.
My heart clenches and I breathe out the last of my anger, relief flashing through my mind. I have gotten through to her, finally, for the first time in years.
Too late, I remind myself as sharp regret flashes through me. Far too late for far too many people…
But at least not entirely too late.
I sigh as I slowly walk up to and then sit down next to her. I reach up and gently place my hand on her armored arm.
„H-how…“ She finally whispers between sobs. „How did I screw this up so badly…? How did I let it come to this…?“
I sigh again. „…It was not entirely your fault“, I finally say. „The Game was rigged against us the moment the Four kidnapped them. The seeds were already sown. And…“ I look down, overwhelming regret in my heart. „And while you fucked up, it’s not like I have done too much better of a job...“
Images flash before my mind. Images of my…OUR daughters. Our darling little Girls and their significant others, our sons and daughters in law. Our greatest hope for Mankind and the Galaxy, our pride and joy. So many oft them now lost forever, through our enemies fault and our own hubris.
I remember giving my blessing Hathor‘s attack on the Interex to avenge her Moonbeam, thinking nothing more of it, only for her to emerge as the Chosen Warmaster of Chaos…
I remember trying and failing to convince my Empress to give Petra more meaningful assignments, Campaigns where she can truly show her worth and skills, only to let myself be convinced that she and the Iron Warriors were needed too badly in these grueling Sieges…
I remember trying to talk Aurelia out of her worship of her Mother, to stop spreading Cults to her service over the Worlds, only to fail miserably..and to fail even more miserably in comforting her after she lost her Little Light on Monarchia…her mother and I had not talked a while after that…
I remember chastising Alpharia and Omega for their reckless approach to collateral damage in their style of Warfare, chosing my words too harshly…
I remember coldly telling Alakhai that I do not approve of her significant other, getting into a loud shouting match over it…
I remember harshly rebuking Magnolia after Nicea, her reckless pursuit of Warp Knowledge pressing all the wrong buttons in me and, in my anger, making me compare her unfavorably to Lyanna and Mortia…
Next to me, she keeps crying, her shoulder trembling as years off suppressed guilt, regret and grief finally break through to the surface. „Our daughters…our sweet children…m-my fault…all my fault…!!“
Bitter guilt roils in my soul. „No“, I whisper quietly. „It was my fault, too. I…I wasn’t that good a parent, either…not to then, and not to our children in-law…“
...Where had we gone so wrong? We had raised children before! And not too badly, at that! So why had we now failed so miserably at keeping our Family together?!
…The answer is simple and bitter. Because we had severely overestimated our ability to be the parents they deserved while running an ever-expanding Empire of Conquest and balance between the two issues, especially since our daughters were vitally important Generals. Because we had trouble trusting people we didn’t know for a long time already, like Malcador, after Millennia of heartbreaks and betrayals. Not at all helped by the fact that we had been unable to bond with our daughters before they were taken from us as embryos.
But that is no excuse. The Lion’s share oft he blame falls on both our shoulders, and we know it. We had placed what we believed to be the needs of Mankind and the Imperium before our Family too many times…and now, we all had paid the price for this.
Oh, how the Four must be laughing at our foolishness…and, much as I HATE them for all they have done to us and our Family, I have to bitterly admit that they would be right to do so…
Still crying, she pulls me to her into a hug, which I gently return. Despite her towering over me, I had always felt the most comfortable with her when she was at this size.
…It provides a small measure of relief from the agonizing knowledge that a Number of our Children, now in service to those four fucking Cancer Tumors upon reality, are currently trying to breach into the Imperial Palace and destroy us, Mankind and all we have ever worked for. And the knowledge that some of our other children have already died at each others hands.
And now, my Empress would have to kill one more of our daughters to end this. Hathor, our best and brightest Girl, beloved and cherished, now our worst, most bitter enemy.
Our ultimate failure as Parents, laid bare.
„…I can never make up for what I have done“, my love finally says, her voice sad and resigned even as her tears still flow. „Not to them…and not to you. I am sorry…but I know that it changes nothing…“
I gently place a hand on her cheek. „…It does change one thing“, I say quietly. „That I know the woman I love is still there…“
„…I was not a good wife to you in these last years“, she whispers. „Almost as bad as I was a mother…“
I gently press my head against her. „…I forgive you“, I finally say.
She shakes her head. „I don’t deserve that…“
„Maybe not. But I forgive you, anyway.“ I look at her. „Just, please…promise me to never let your mask control you like this, again.“
She nods, burying her face in my shoulder. „I swear…I swear, I won’t…“
She is sincere. I can tell. I have known her too long not to.
„I didn’t want you to come here“, she says quietly. „I knew that if I saw you, I would crumble again…“
„Perhaps it was time for you to crumble“, I answer sadly. „To remind yourself that you are still human, at the core…not just the cold, calculating, uncaring Empress you had become…“
She tightens her hug, silence reigning for a few seconds. „…Thank you“, she finally whispers. „Thank you for…for snapping me out of this, one last time…“
Fear now rises within me. Despite knowing that this may be the last time I see her…I do not want to think about this. The idea of losing her forever after all we have been through…it is terrifying.
„…Please, don’t…don’t say that.“ Now it is I whose voice is shaking. „Our other daughters and children in-law…they still need you. The Imperium still needs you. I still need you! You…you will make it. You have been in tough spots before! You-“
She interrupts me, gently pressing her forehead against mine. „…If…if I don’t come back…promise me you’ll be there for them. For as long as you can. Please, my life…promise me you won’t give up. Promise me that you will be a better parent than I was…“
I swallow. „I…I promise.“ I finally whisper. And I mean it, as much as I desperately hope I will never have to face this future without her.
I try to calm myself. She will be fine. She will win…and after this War is over, we will finally make all the amends we can, save as many of our children as possible and finally, FINALLY do right by them…as they deserve, as we should have from the start!
We will!! We HAVE to!!
…I desperately cling onto this hope. The Alternatives…are too much to bare imagining.
She tightens her hug around me again as we sit there, quietly wishing that this last moment of quiet and calm, filled with regret and sorrow as it may be, would never end.
But it would. Soon. The Teleporters would be ready in mere Minutes.
Oh, how I wish I could accompany her onto the Vengeful Spirit, to confront our wayward daughter, perhaps, as I hoped foolishly, even save her…but I know that this is the one thing she will never allow. As a Psyker, I am powerful, but never as strong as Malcador, let alone her or any of our daughters. Chaos would not hesitate to kill me or worse aboard this tainted vessel and I can not afford to slow her down and make her waste time and energy protecting me.
And besides, if any Deamons make it through the defenses while she is gone, I will be needed to keep them from reaching the Throne.
I know that this, she would be adamant about, now more than ever. So I do not even try.
…It still causes an awful feeling in my gut, nonetheless, as we stay hugging each other for as long as we can, two foolish, flawed and weary parents, sharing in our grief, regret and sorrow over our destroyed family in these last moments before the Final Clash…

Hi Reddit Let's take it back. My parents emigrated to Europe before I came into this world. They fled their home country because of war and chaos. I M25 was born in Denmark. I was raised by parents who were loving and caring. But I lived in a world much different from the one they grew up in. My parents did not fall in love as young adults and got married, their parents arranged their marriage. so that's all they know. Even though my parents raised me to be the man I am today, I have lived in a world much different from the world they grew up in. As long as I can remember they have not been the most open-minded people about exploring the new world they got welcomed to. My parents felt alone and alienated, the only reason they stayed here was for a better life for the family. So I grew up with parents holding very strong on to the traditions and values that they had from home, while the world I lived in had other traditions and values. One big difference was love. I have had 3 girlfriends from the age of 18 to 23. None of them have met my parents because I knew they would not get accepted by my parents. That all changed when I met the love of my life F22. We had similar childhoods and the same kind of parents. So we connected and understood each other. after 2 months of dating, where we were seeing each other every day, I asked her to be my girlfriend. I was in deep love and I knew we would be together for the rest of our lives. I, for the first time in my life, introduced my girlfriend to my parents. My parents were not happy, but they accepted the fact that I had chosen my own. Her parents on the other hand had the biggest problem. they campaigned to leave me and never talked to me again. after we had been together for almost 8 months her father threatened her with suicide if she did not leave me. So after the most pain I have been in all my life, here I am alone, sad and depressed. My parents after seeing all of this, decided that I needed a woman in my life, so without my knowledge, they started arranging a marriage for me. I have tried to decline 1000 times. but they don't seem to understand. I am now in a situation where a girl is waiting for me to marry her. And to be honest I don't know what to do. I feel defeated in life. I feel like I should just cut all contact to my family and move, and try to live my life without them.

HELP! I could use some advice of any kind to help me find a job. I have been out of work for almost a year now and there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel. I am a single father of middle school aged kids and am about to lose my house. All funds have been drained and I cant get unemployment anymore. I have over 15 years in marketing and creative and I have been applying on LinkedIn, Indeed, and Ziprecruiter like crazy to no avail. I am about ready to lose my mind I need a job ASAP. To say I am desperate is an understatement.

Chapter CC
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Trout's Landing.
​
Ruby stretched with a contented sigh. She turned her head over to where Jeb slept beside her. Or where he was when she fell asleep. She sat up and looked around the dark underground room but he wasn't here either.
"Wonder where he went."
​
Oh well, she thought as she stretched a few stiff muscles before hopping up and collecting their eggs. As nice as it was to sleep with them, they needed more consistent warmth. So she sat them to the side, bundled up in the still warm blanket, and departed to secure a source of fire for their eggs.
​
Which wasn't all that hard, she realized as her dark vision faded as the blue glow from the torches up ahead illuminated the main gathering area for the burrows. She smiled as she saw the tribe return to something familiar that she missed seeing for a while.
​
Several tunnels branched off towards the other cabins and already kobolds came and went from them as they began to migrate away from the chill air above for the, still cool but more comfortable, air below. As they did she could see the collections they brought back and forth. Animals, alive and dressed, were being moved down here and out of the elements for better care. As well as an easier time keeping the ever gluttonous salamanders from sneaking another meal. Scraps and salvage collected from around the lodge or while out exploring being brought down and being traded or even used to furnish the space.
​
Bits of wood with simple carvings were lodged into the dirt along side scraps of metal or rock with soot, mud, or crushed flower pigment to paint symbols or words on them for decoration or directions. While it wasn't the bustling forum that they once had, it gladdened her to see her tribe returning to normalcy once again.
​
She shook away the distracting thoughts and set her sights on some scrap of wood nearby. She darted over to the vendor, deftly avoiding a section of the ground being dug up as the kobolds dug ever deeper as they sought to expand their burrows ever more. It was in their nature to dig and burrow. While they no longer had a draconic master to excavate massive caverns and tunnels for, she wouldn't be surprised if kobold tunnels ended up expanding far past the border of the lodge itself and going far into the wild where they knew nothing about save for what little Jeb has told them.
​
Eventually, even this gathering area will be abandoned as the tribe moved deeper down, putting as much dirt and rock between them and whatever threats laid above. The only thing that would remain would be an assortment of traps to keep any invaders wary of going deeper than the kobolds wanted. Even then, many of the tunnels that would lead deeper would be dead-ends meant to slow or hinder any invader. Some would even be traps in and of themselves, collapsing the "tunnel" on top of even the most cautious of invader or even just blocking their escape and leaving them to die before the kobolds eventually dug out their remains and collected their gear with no trouble.
​
She stood before the assortment of wood and looked over the scrap. Some of it was processed lumber that looked to be from the buildings above, most was collected bits of wood from the forest though. Which was fine, she didn't need anything too big. No bartering took place. She was a leader of the tribe and it was assumed whatever she wanted was for the good of the tribe.
​
Even starting a warming fire for her eggs was good enough for the tribe to skip bartering and simply give her what she needed. So she collected enough wood for a nice fire and returned to her home. She sorted it into the indent in the ground that Jeb had placed their eggs in before. It would be a good place to start a heating fire for them, she thought as she finished arranging them.
​
She left and collected some tinder made of dried moss and grass before looking around for some stone or flint to start the fire with. But no such luck. All the stone was deeply imbedded in the dirt or was too large. She once more returned to the gathering area in search of fire. Which she quickly found in the form of the glowing blue fire that Jeb had created for the kobolds.
​
She shuffled a little as she stared at the dancing flame. She knew Jeb didn't like the idea of the kobolds using the blue fire. He probably wouldn't like the idea of heating their eggs with it either. She should be worried as well, she thought. But she wasn't. Staring at the flame reminded her of the vision that The Crone showed her. Of her and Jeb within a ring of flaming blue orbs. They were happy. The tribe was happy.
​
"He'll understand." She said as she darted and collected a piece of wood to transfer a spark from a nearby torch.
​
Ember in hand, she rushed back to her home. She gently eased the flame towards the bundle of wood. She yipped in shock when the flame leapt from her temporary torch and engulfed the pile! Their room burst into dancing shadows as the flames danced from their new home. So pretty, she thought as she stared at the fire. She had seen it when she would come out of their room in the old building for a break. But it seemed so mesmerizing now that it was right in front of her.
​
She widened the indent in the ground a little so that the eggs could receive the warmth from the fire without being too close. They might be mildly resistant to fire, but not enough to throw their eggs in a fire! Then again, she thought with worry as she held her claw out at the fire. The warmth from it isn't as strong as a normal fire it seemed. Like it was contained.
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She clicked her claws in worry. She didn't want to push them too close, but they wouldn't get enough heat if they remained where they were. It would only get worse as it got colder and the cold seeped into the ground. Maybe just a little closer, she thought as she nudged the eggs closer to the fire.
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The flames sputtered at the movement of air, but nothing more. She held out her claw to gauge the temperature once again. But it still wasn't enough, she thought as she clicked her claws against a nearby stone in thought. She cast a glance towards the tunnel. She could maybe see if one of the others have something to make a proper fire, she thought.
​
She put a claw on the eggs.
"No. That'll take too long."
​
She looked worryingly at the tunnel as if Jeb would appear and lambast her for even thinking what she was. She held her breath and pushed the eggs forwards. Then more. Then even more. The flames sputtered and danced as the eggs were pushed closer and closer. She could only just feel the heat as she did so. Why did the fire seem so weak, she thought as she pushed the eggs right up beside the bundle of burning wood.
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Yet the fire seemed to move around the eggs, like they were doing their best to avoid touching them. Even the heat from the fire seemed to be avoiding them! Ruby growled in frustration and pushed the eggs right into the fire!
"Can you just keep them warm?!"
​
The fire stilled and froze as the eggs were pushed into it. As if it didn't know what to do. Then the flame roared to life once again. The balefire caressed the onyx shells as it seemed to dance across the smooth black surface of the shells. As if a barrier broke, the heat from the flame radiated outwards now. Ruby could now feel the warmth from the fire where seconds ago she felt nothing.
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Ruby blinked at the eldritch flame and moved her claw to touch her eggs. She instinctively pulled back as a tongue of balefire arced in her direction. She whined in worry at possibly making a terrible mistake. She held her breath and once more reached out to caress her eggs. She bit her tongue and shut her eyes when the fire arced towards her once more.
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But she didn't feel pain. No burning sensation one would get when normally sticking an appendage into a roaring fire. Instead she felt a comforting warmth. Like she felt when close to Jeb as they slept together. She cracked open an eye and found the baleful flame caressing her claw. She experimented a little by pulling her claw back, feeling as the flame seemed to latch on like it didn't want her to leave, before snapping back to its "body". She pushed her claw into the fire, further this time, all the way up to her elbow. The fire latched onto her once again and flooded her with a comforting warmth that shot straight to her core!
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She turned her claw upwards and pulled back once more. She watched as the flame held on as she did so, once more refusing to leave her scales. She watched as the flame snapped once again, but this time, it broke! Instead of snapping back towards its body, she now held a burning ball of balefire in her claw!
​
She couldn't do magic. There were few of the tribe that could before they fled to this world. The Chief was the last among them that had any ability to harness it. Yet here she was, holding a magical fire within her claw! She watched as the flame danced and twisted in her grasp. She sucked in a breath when she watched it start to diffuse INTO her scales! The flame lessened and lessened as if it were dying, but instead the fire seeped between the cracks of her scales. She could feel it racing through her body, flooding it once more with a wave of comforting warmth.
​
"Den Mother?" A voice asked from the tunnel nearby.
​
Ruby yelped in surprise and turned towards the voice. She saw the Chief standing there watching her with a curious and amazed expression on his snout.
"Having fun?"
​
"Chief!? I was-"
​
"Playing with fire?" The Chief asked playfully as he stared at the blue fire.
​
She shuffled nervously as he did so. Eventually he chuckled and she began to relax.
"It's alright Den Mother. You're not the only one that Master Jeb's flame as entranced among the tribe."
​
"Why do you think it acts so different from normal fire?" She asked.
​
The Chief shrugged.
"Who knows. Perhaps it is how magic works in this world. Perhaps it is something on Master Jeb's part. Perhaps it is because our former- Kortaza, was the Keeper of Flame."
​
"But we never had much protection from fire before. And not any way to manipulate it." Ruby said.
​
The Chief sighed.
"True. I truly do not know why it is so different than normal fire. Fire is alive, yes. But this one seems almost..."
​
"Living?" Ruby suggested.
​
"Yes. Like it has a mind of its own. Though I doubt that much, perhaps it merely follows the will of Master Jeb, knowingly or not on his part." The Chief continued as he walked closer and sat down beside Ruby and watched the eggs glimmer and shine within the fire where they remained quiet for some peaceful moments.
​
The Chief then perked up.
"Oh! Master Jeb returned!"
​
"He did?! Where is he?" Ruby asked and looked around expecting to see him coming down the tunnel.
​
"Well, he did return. Rushed around and collected an assortment of food, and then he vanished away again. Something about a trade?" The Chief explained a little unsure.
​
She frowned, wonder what he was trading, she thought. Though, with the eggs now taken care of, and Jeb away for a moment. Perhaps now was the time she could see about doing something special for him. She turned to the Chief, he was more knowledgeable when it came to humans and their customs.
​
"Chief?" She asked.
​
"Yes? What is it?" He asked at the tone of her voice.
​
"What do you know of this world's humans?"
​
"Oh? What would you like to know?" He asked a little excited in being able to use his collected knowledge.
​
"What do humans do with those they care about?" She asked a little uncertainly.
​
The Chief hummed in thought and tapped his claws.
"It depends. Humans are as diverse in this world as ours. Many customs I've read about belong to different groups."
​
"What about the tribe that Jeb belongs to?"
​
The Chief hummed once more in thought and got up before darting away while calling back.
"I will check! I'm sure I have something!"
​
While she waited, she continued to play with fire and tend to her eggs. Since they were in the flame, they didn't need quite so studious attention as they did before. She could probably just leave them and go tend to her normal duties and not have to worry about them anymore.
​
Who was she fooling, she thought. Even if there was a way to hatch and tend to the eggs completely without her, she'd still want to look after them. She thought she heard Jeb mentioning something about an "electrical egg incubator" once upon a time. Whatever that was.
​
The Chief returned, huffing from being out of breath and holding a thickly bound tome with pages of different sizes and colors poking out of the patched bindings. He placed the heavy tome on the ground with a huff.
"This is my collection of this world's customs and knowledge. If there is something that will assist you it will be in here somewhere!"
​
Ruby oohed and awed as the Chief flipped open the tome and leafed through page after page of information. Some were pages from magazines, others were snippets and clippings from books, there was a few pages that contained pressed cuttings of local flora as well as a collection of small animal bones among the bindings.
​
They stopped on a page that read MODERN COURTING FOR THE MODERN WOMAN in bold letters on a page that felt smooth to the touch. On the cover was a gorgeous human woman wearing a sleek beautiful dress and jewelry. Ruby pointed towards the page.
"Oh this one!"
​
They thumbed through the pages looking for information. Most neither one of them got as it talked about stuff like make-up, libido, popular fashion, and other things that they didn't either understand or see the appeal of. Then they found a page that described how a modern woman should act. Though this seemed to confuse the both of them even more.
​
"Be 'dem-or' and assertive? What does 'dem-or' mean?" Ruby asked the Chief.
​
"I'm not sure. There are many words within that don't seem to fit." He explained.
​
A pattern they soon found to be common among the pages of information, much of the words would make sense but spread out among them were these spots of words that seemed just out of place. What they COULD understand still didn't make any sense either.
​
"Be soft yet firm? How does that work?" The Chief asked.
​
"If you like a potential mate why make him keep trying to win your heart?" Ruby asked equally confused.
​
"Modern" humans were just as confusing to them it seemed. However, among the pages of contradictory information, they were able to get SOMETHING of value! Humans like gifts. Though they both knew that and didn't really feel like these pages of "modern courting" did anything more than confuse them.
​
"What kind of gifts?" The Chief asked as he and Ruby tried to decipher the mess of flowery wording and nonsense.
​
"Jewelry, clothes, food." Ruby read off as they got the general gist of the overly convoluted wording. The pictures helped more though.
​
"Well! At least we found something... I think?" The Chief declared at least with a little uncertainty.
​
"Why did you collect all this?" Ruby asked.
​
"It was in a book, so I thought it was important. But it would seem that not everything in this world's books are worth keeping." The Chief stated before retrieving the tome and departing.
​
"Where are you going?"
​
"To go through my collection. It would seem that some of it is not as important as I first thought." He called out as he left.
​
She could hear him mumbling to himself and heard the occasional tearing as he did. Well, at least they found something, she thought as she turned towards the eggs once more. She placed a claw on the onyx shells and felt the comforting warmth of the fire as well as the warmth of the eggs. They'll be fine for now, she thought as she got up and left.
​
"Jewelry, clothes, and food." Ruby murmured as she went down the tunnel once again.
​
He was getting low on clothes, she thought. But there wasn't much around here to make some with. Though perhaps some animal hides would work? But much of what they've collected was too small for clothes of Jeb's size. Getting him food seemed redundant too. He could make his own food whenever he wished. Which left jewelry.
​
It was the better of the options, but they didn't have much in the way of jewelry either. No raids means no loot and the piles of treasure back in their former home wasn't exactly a priority at the time of their exodus. But then she spied the copper wire the kobolds had collected while scavenging. A copper band would be nice, she thought as she was given the piece of wiring from the scavenger.
​
But what else, she thought as she looked around some more. The pictures in the magazine showed jewelry that glittered with gold and diamonds and so much more that they no longer had. Nothing around here could compare, she thought dejectedly. But then she saw a group of kobolds coming down a tunnel with a collection of shells and waterlogged timber.
​
"What is this?" She asked them.
​
"Salvage from the camps up river." The kobold replied as he and the others began to sift and sort the mess.
​
She watched as they distributed everything they collected to the tribe that came over. Some took the waterlogged wood, others took polished stones, and others took the collection of shells. She eyed the shells. Back home, alot of the fishfolk in the rivers and around the sea collected pearls from the water. Perhaps the ones upriver also had some?
​
She followed after the group of kobolds that had collected the shells and assisted them in opening a few. Mussels were what was mainly here, no surprise though since it seemed they were far from this world's ocean. What was a surprise was how many pearls they actually managed to find among the mussels!
​
It was rare for the kobolds to find one during their fishing trips by the sea. Even among the rivers pearls were not much more common. So it surprised them that several mussels had multiple pearls within them! She was going to actually barter for potentially the single one they found, but with there being so many the shuckers didn't mind at all and gave Ruby a small handful for her project.
​
They weren't all that big, but that was fine by her. They'd do for what she had in mind. She borrowed a small thin metal needle from a scavenger and retreated back to her room. Copper wire and freshwater pearls in claw.
​
-----
​
Well, that's taken care of, Jeb thought as he appeared in the open air of the lodge. He flicked the gold and garnet band into the air and got it with a spring in his step and a tune on his lips as he made his way over to the Trap Master who stood near the river where he received reports from the salvagers.
​
"How's things?" He asked when he got close.
​
"Good. Strange. But good." The Trap Master stated as he dismissed the salvagers.
​
"How so?"
​
"The 'murlocs' you called them? Haven't returned to their former homes." He explained.
​
"And? Wasn't that kinda the point?"
​
"It was. But there isn't any sign of anything else other than birds flocking to the area."
​
"Again, wasn't that the point?"
​
"Only if something worse didn't move in." The Trap Master explained further.
​
Jeb groaned.
"What moved in?"
​
"Nothing."
​
"Nothin'?"
​
"That we can see. No new tracks, no scents, nothing."
​
"So what's the problem?"
​
"The problem is that much carrion should've drawn every scavenger and hungry animal for miles."
​
"But it hasn't." Jeb finished.
​
"No. The birds infest the area but largely leave us alone. Though some get a little territorial over their spots of carrion. But nothing else has moved into the area."
​
Jeb groaned again.
"So what do you wanna do?"
​
"Nothing."
​
"Really?" Jeb asked in surprise.
​
"Yes. If the other animals and creatures nearby are giving the place a wide berth then we'll exploit it as long as we can. We'll send some scouts to keep an eye on the place though."
​
"Perhaps the smell of death is what's doin' it?" Jeb suggested.
​
"Maybe. Would explain the large number of birds. But nothing else?"
​
"Yeah, you're right. Well let me know if you need help with it." Jeb said.
​
"Will do."
​
"Oh! Before I forget, I made a trade agreement with the dwarves."
​
The Trap Master cocked a scaled brow.
"Oh?"
​
"Yeah. Food for tools. We'll need to set aside five crates twice a week, but we'll get some decent tools to help speed up excavation." Jeb explained.
​
The Trap Master tapped his claws against his scales in thought.
"That's doable."
​
"You sure? Cuz I'm more than happy to do it all myself." Jeb said and conjured an apple to make his point.
​
"No. The tools are for us, we should assist. Besides, we gathered more for our former master. Five crates twice a week will be easy enough to do." The Trap Master stated in a relaxed tone.
​
"Alright, if you're certain." Jeb said.
​
"I am. We'll let you know if anything changes." The Trap Master replied.
​
"Alright, have it your way." Jeb returned and departed while tossing the conjured apple towards the lazing salamanders nearby.
​
Jeb ported down to the main gathering area. The place was just as busy as when he left as the kobolds went about their duties and tasks with vigor and joy that he's only really seen when they were staying in his basement. Guess he was the one living in their basement now, he thought with a chuckle.
​
He played with the gold and garnet band as he shuffled nervously. Wasn't sure why he was so nervous, he thought. She already had his kids, kinda, sorta. They were already living together. This would just be the natural progression of things. Kinda, sorta. He heaved in a big gulp of air to steady his nerves.
​
"Alright. Quite procrastinatin' Jeb." He muttered to himself and started down the tunnel towards his home.
​
He stopped when his boot stepped on something different. He looked down and picked up a magazine page.
"Modern courtin' for the modern woman? Where the hell did this come from?"
​
Probably Sammy's, Jeb thought as he tossed aside the girly garbage. Not sure what it was doing out here though. Maybe she brought it for Thanksgiving and forgot it? Or maybe the kobolds swiped it when they raided her hairspray? Or maybe she just left it among his other articles one of the times she and his pa would go over to his place.
​
"Oh well." He said as he continued on.
​
He could hear humming as he got closer, and saw a familiar pale blue light. He walked into his room and saw Ruby humming as she tinkered with something. Nearby was their eggs, sitting in the balefire. He should've panicked. He should've dropped everything and ran over trying to save his kids. That's what a father would do right?
​
But he didn't have that gut wrenching feeling of seeing your kids in danger he thought he would. Still, he walked over beside Ruby. She yelped in surprise and fumbled with what she was working on as Jeb reached out a hand and touched their onyx colored eggs.
​
"Jeb?! I was- They were-" Ruby tried to explain while also trying to gather her things.
​
"It's alright." Jeb said.
​
"It is?" She asked with concern.
​
"Yeah. They're not hot." He said as he stroked the shells through the fire that did nothing to him.
​
"Are you sure?" She asked with worry and concern.
​
"Yeah. Doubt it'll do anythin' more to 'em." Jeb said with a bit more bitterness in his voice than he wanted there to be.
​
He saw Ruby's face fall at his words. Nice job dickhead, Jeb thought to himself. He sighed and turned towards Ruby.
"I'm sorry. I'm just nervous 'bout everythin' happenin'."
​
"I'm nervous too." She stated and leaned into him for a hug, which he eagerly returned.
​
They held each other for a long moment before Ruby perked up and scrambled away.
"Hold on! Don't look!"
​
"Look at what?" Jeb asked with a cocked brow as he did his best to hide his own gift.
​
"I said don't look!" She chided.
​
"Alright!" He said with a laugh.
​
He turned away as he heard her grumbling and fumbling with whatever she was working on when he walked in on her. While he waited, he stretched out his hand and caressed their eggs. Please don't get any weirder, he pleaded mentally while he waited.
​
"Ok! You can look now!" Ruby called at last.
​
Jeb turned back around and saw Ruby holding a ring towards him. It was some braided copper wire with a couple of small pearls threaded on. She held it up to him.
"What do you think?"
​
Wait, was this a gift or was she asking him to marry her, Jeb thought. He had to say something though, the look of confusion on his face was making Ruby sad.
"I love it! What's it for exactly?"
​
"Well, I'm courting you!" She said as Jeb accepted the copper and pearl braided band.
​
"Courtin' me? What does that-" Jeb started when he noticed a rustle from his left boot.
​
He looked down and pulled off a piece of paper that had stuck to it. MODERN COURTING FOR THE MODERN WOMAN, it said in bold on the paper. He turned it around towards Ruby.
"Did you read this?"
​
She shuffled.
"Yes? I wasn't sure how you court a human in this world! But the words were confusing and didn't make any sense and- why are you laughing?"
​
"I'm laughin' because this is trash! None of the stuff in here is how you should court someone!" Jeb said with a laugh.
​
"But it says-" Ruby started when Jeb tossed the magazine paper into the nearby fire, which ate it instantly.
​
"It's just somethin' that girls read to pass the time. Nothin' in there is worth the paper it's printed on." Jeb declared.
​
"Oh. So?" Ruby asked dejectedly as she gestured to the ring she made for Jeb.
​
"This is just fine. Though do you know what it means to get a ring for someone?" Jeb asked.
​
"That they love one another?" Ruby said a little unsure now.
​
"Yeah. I guess it does. But the act of givin' someone you love a ring is a symbol that you want to be together." Jeb explained and produced his own gift for Ruby.
​
Her eyes went wide as she grasped the gold and garnet band.
"But we're already together."
​
"Yeah. We are."
​
"So what does the rings mean?" Ruby asked as she examined the band.
​
"Well, it's more religious really."
​
"Oh?"
​
"Yeah. It's supposed to mean... somethin'." Jeb started as he realized he didn't entirely recall what the meaning of the ring was supposed to mean.
​
"Mean what?" Ruby pressed as she tried to fit the band on her arm and then her tail.
​
"Well. It generally means being together forever."
​
"But why the ring?"
​
"It means a sort of exclusivity for folk." Jeb explained.
​
"Why? What about the rest of the tribe? Does that mean you won't help them?" She asked.
​
"No! I can, or will, or... this is harder than I thought it'd be." Jeb said with a sigh.
​
Ruby cocked a brow as well.
"So what happens?"
​
"Well, we exchange rings and promise to love one another forever. In sickness and health and yada yada. Then we're husband and wife." Jeb explained.
​
"Why? We're already mates and we love one another. What does our health have to do with it? And what is a 'husband and wife'?"
​
"Well... You know what? Forget it. Do you promise to love me?"
​
"Yes! Do you?"
​
"Yup!"
​
"Yay!" Ruby cried and hugged Jeb.
​
"And I now pronounce you man and wife." Jeb muttered as he kissed Ruby.
​
Ruby giggled and pulled away.
"So what happens now?"
​
"Now... I don't know. Usually there would also be paper work, but given... us, it prob'bly wouldn't matter."
​
"So what changes?" Ruby asked as she affixed the gold and garnet band to one of her horns with a smile.
​
"Uhm... nothin'? We're already together, we already live together, we already have kids... kinda." Jeb listed off.
​
"So what's the rings supposed to mean?"
​
"It means... I love you." Jeb replied at last, giving up on trying to explain something he himself wasn't entirely informed of.
​
"I love you too!" Ruby cried and kissed him.
​
He returned the kiss. Not like this would've been an official wedding anyway, Jeb thought. They don't exactly have a licensed priest to officiate it. Or witnesses. He doubt their still shelled eggs would count. He could ask the Chief to oversee it. But he already got a headache trying to explain marriage to Ruby, he didn't really want to explain it to the Chief, or any other kobolds that might be interested.
​
Not like it made anything different, Jeb thought. Ruby was right. They loved one another. They lived together. They had kids together. For all intense and purpose, they were mates. Sure if he was particularly religious he could insist on going to a church and doing things official. But given how things have turned out for them lately, he wouldn't be surprised if he burst into flames stepping inside a church.
​
Well, there was ONE tradition that they could still do, Jeb thought with a smirk as he picked up Ruby bridal style.
"Wanna consummate our marriage?"
​
"What does that mean?" She asked.
​
"Don't worry. You'll like it." Jeb said as he led her over to their moss bed.
​
[First] [Prev] [Next]

HELP! I could use some advice of any kind to help me find a job. I have been out of work for almost a year now and there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel. I am a single father of middle school aged kids and am about to lose my house. All funds have been drained and I cant get unemployment anymore. I have over 15 years in marketing and creative and I have been applying on LinkedIn, Indeed, and Ziprecruiter like crazy to no avail. I am about ready to lose my mind I need a job ASAP. To say I am desperate is an understatement.

Hi Reddit
Let's take it back. My parents emigrated to Europe before I came into this world. They fled their home country because of war and chaos. I M25 was born in Denmark. I was raised by parents who were loving and caring. But I lived in a world much different from the one they grew up in. My parents did not fall in love as young adults and got married, their parents arranged their marriage. so that's all they know.
Even though my parents raised me to be the man I am today, I have lived in a world much different from the world they grew up in. As long as I can remember they have not been the most open-minded people about exploring the new world they got welcomed to. My parents felt alone and alienated, the only reason they stayed here was for a better life for the family.
So I grew up with parents holding very strong on to the traditions and values that they had from home, while the world I lived in had other traditions and values. One big difference was love. I have had 3 girlfriends from the age of 18 to 23. None of them have met my parents because I knew they would not get accepted by my parents.
That all changed when I met the love of my life F22. We had similar childhoods and the same kind of parents. So we connected and understood each other. after 2 months of dating, where we were seeing each other every day, I asked her to be my girlfriend. I was in deep love and I knew we would be together for the rest of our lives. I, for the first time in my life, introduced my girlfriend to my parents. My parents were not happy, but they accepted the fact that I had chosen my own.
Her parents on the other hand had the biggest problem. they campaigned to leave me and never talked to me again. after we had been together for almost 8 months her father threatened her with suicide if she did not leave me.
So after the most pain I have been in all my life, here I am alone, sad and depressed.
My parents after seeing all of this, decided that I needed a woman in my life, so without my knowledge, they started arranging a marriage for me. I have tried to decline 1000 times. but they don't seem to understand. I am now in a situation where a girl is waiting for me to marry her. And to be honest I don't know what to do. I feel defeated in life. I feel like I should just cut all contact to my family and move, and try to live my life without them.

Some of subscribers to this reddit might remember my sad story. (Originally my boyfriend was posting it to this subreddit, but now he's been banned from posting here by this sub's admins) Almost a month has passed since I (a Tanzanian national, 24 years old, girl) was denied boarding in Nairobi Airport to fly to Ecuador. KLM airport staff told me that I won't be allowed to fly because I'm a single woman without being accompanied with father or husband. Once I took out the phone and started recording, they changed the reason to "can't connect in AMS without Schengen" (absurd). Three weeks later, after I had to buy a ticket and successfully flew to the same destination, we decided to check the status of the compensation claim (airport staff on that day promised me full compensation, LOL). I really want to rant how terrible the claim communication is with KLM, but I won't. Long story short, the claim was displayed as "closed" and after contacting their weird support in Facebook, they sent me in FB messenger a quote from the claim response (which I never saw on their website or in my email box and they won't ever send me): As per your communication I note that you and your co-passenger were not able to check-in on flight KL 566. Having checked our records, you were refused to board because you did not comply with Article 9 (Passenger referred back due to suspicion) of the General Conditions of Carriage. Therefore, you are not entitled to the compensation set by the EC Regulation 261/2004. Usama Butt. How I understand it, KLM profiled me by my gender and race and the fact that I don't have many stamps in my travel passport. They had a worry that - I dunno really - that I would run to Dutch police during my connection in Amsterdam to ask for refuge?? And having this suspicion they (quote) "referred the passenger back". They also mention a mysterious "co-passenger" which I didn't have. Never I or my boyfriend could expect that an airline can profile the passenger and just deny flying "due to suspicion" and cause the loss of ticket ($1350) and the collapse of travel plans (>$4000). Dear readers of this subreddit, before admin deletes my post, please share your opinions on how fair you think the actions of KLM and their decidion to not even compensate the ticket were. And, maybe, anyone has an idea for me on how to fight for my rights in this case? TBH I'm very furios about this airlines.

I lost my father in 2023 from accidental overdose (fentanyl laced drugs). He struggled with a life long of addiction dating back to his teen years. He had spurts of sobriety throughout my childhood and was the best dad during those times even though my childhood wasn’t the best. He was incredibly intelligent, genius level IQ, loved animals, would give the shirt off his back to anyone, amazing mechanic. About 4 years before he passed I ended up having to set a boundary with him and limit contact because I had tried to help him x amount of times (was in my very early 20s at the time) and finally had to remove myself after coming to the end of my rope after risking my life and depleting my very little resources to help. I had to have my uncle intervene. 2-3 months before my dad passed he had reached out to me via text apologizing for his actions. It felt like he wanted to rekindle and see me. I forgave him. He passed shortly after. I dealt with most of his arrangements, cremation, cleaning out the house he was living in, and almost all other decisions by myself. Also dealing with his mother who he was pretty distanced from but never fails to make our individual griefs a competition. I have not taken his passing well. I’m filled with so much sadness, shame, and guilt that I should have done more. Tried harder to help him. It’s a dark pit. I feel so broken inside and none of these feelings have declined with time. I wish I could have saved him. I have been in therapy and even EMDR, nothing seems to help. I have also been dealing with probate court and lawyers (he inherited a sum of money before he passed) and I am still dealing with it now. I’m not sure if still dealing with his estate has me almost actively living in the pain bc it’s a constant reminder. I feel exhausted in grief. It feels good to type this out, I am open to any advice for wading through this. Please be kind.

Hi everyone, advice needed please. Even if it's just to tell me I'm being stupid, and to end this now. I just need some outside, unbiased opinions.
I met a guy in my college class. We got along very well right off the bat, expressed mutual attraction, and started texting all day every day. He disclosed to me a few days in that he's in an open relationship, and that there's things he's allowed to do, and things he is not. The hard boundary though, was that feelings were not allowed. Anything else was pretty much fair game.
At first, I shut it down. I don't have experience with non-monogamy and I wasn't comfortable with it. I'm still not. But it's like we couldn't stay away from each other. We only went a few days no-contact before he reached out again, under the guise of just friendly communication, but it's hard when two people are attracted to each other, to keep it to that. Lots of flirting. I opened myself up a little bit to his advances, but mostly just for fun. At that point he was a friend I had flirty banter with, and nothing more.
But the texts from him kept coming. Again -- all day, every day. One thing led to another one day after class, and we made out in the car. A week later, it happened again. We came really close to having sex that time (I ended up topless and we fooled around a bit), but I didn't let anything happen because I was afraid of taking it to that next step.
We had a talk about what happened those nights in the car, and why it didn't go further. I told him I was still uncomfortable, and also a little sad. I don't want to be just a body for someone, and I deserve better than being a fuckbuddy for him (or anyone else, for that matter). He agreed. He said that I am not just a body, that he feels completely at ease around me, and that he genuinely enjoys spending time with me. He told me that, at any time, I can tell him to back off and he will. But he doesn't want to lose me as a friend.
Since then, those texts still haven't stopped. We do exchange photos, but he never pushes me for them. He's been very respectful of my boundaries, and he obviously understands what's going on in my head. But it's gotten a little different now. He's started texting me early in the morning, just to say "good morning". Goodnight messages happen almost every night. We've stayed up late, after sending sexy pictures to each other and taking care of business, so to speak... just to talk, both of us reluctant to be the first to sign off for the night. He's called me beautiful, that he's proud of me for the things I've accomplished in school, and when we do see each other, he's gone in for kisses but never pushed for sex. We've snuggled up to each other just for the physical closeness, and I even slept in his bed one time when I was in the area and too tired to drive home. Sex didn't happen that night. He just cuddled me to sleep.
We haven't had sex at all since we met.
Last week, we were hanging out in a group of friends from class. One of his friends called him and he answered, and I wasn't really paying attention until suddenly I heard him say, "Yes, _________ (my name) is here too." It kind of took me off guard, as it would anyone who hears someone say their name from afar, and I assumed it was his girlfriend on the phone. But he got off the call, came back to the group, and one of our friends asked him, "Girlfriend?" and he casually said, "Nah, just a buddy of mine." I just kind of wondered why his friend knew about me, and asked if I was there. That means that at some point, he brought me up to whoever this person was. I could also be overthinking it.
Well, I like this guy a lot. And I hate that I do. I hate that I've let it get to this point, and the only reason I haven't had sex with him is because I don't want to get even more attached. I think that, if I was his girlfriend, I wouldn't like my boyfriend texting another girl as often as he texts me. And sometimes the content of those messages are things I've believed up until this point are only reserved for a significant other. I don't know. I don't want to lose him as a friend -- I've never clicked with someone this fast in such a long time. But it's so hard to remain "friendly" when we both clearly are drawn to each other. Please, someone give me something here. To save my feelings, or his relationship, or something. This doesn't feel like I'm just a FWB. Because there really haven't been any real benefits at all, besides photos. It's just two friends who are definitely not platonic but are not really addressing what's really going on.
I don't know what to do.

Please, I just need advice. My home is by no means a bad place at all, but I just can’t remain living here. I have absolutely no where else to go because I still rely on my mom to take me everywhere, including my place of work. I’m trying to get a bike but things just keep popping up. I 100% need to buy from a reliable brand, such as Fuji, because I have to bike to college everyday starting August, which is nearly an hour away. My mom wants me to buy clothes for a trip to Europe I payed off during my senior year, and that would be nice, but I just can’t afford much anymore. But onto the context behind the advice I need: When I was 14, I wanted a kitten more than anything. I was really isolated then and did everything possible to get one, even things I’m not proud of. Eventually I did end up going to the shelter to get a kitten, but there weren’t any available and I ended up taking a puppy home. I loved this puppy. He still is my baby. He was 2 months old when I got him. At the time, my dad was living with my family and he was extremely abusive. My dog would never leave my side because I was so scared something would happen to him, so scared he would nip my dad and cause my father would lose it, but there wasn’t anything I could do. My fears came true when puppy started pissing everytime he saw my dad. When he was around 3 1/2 months old, my parents got divorced. My father couldn’t handle it and forced my siblings and I to go with him to Alabama in his small truck. I was devastated when I couldn’t bring my puppy. My mom promised to take care of him. She promised. After about a month in, my dad decided to make a trip to Ohio without anyone knowing to see my mom, but I caught him leaving at 7:00 a.m. and that’s how I ended up going back with him. A little background info, we had three other animals (2 other dogs, and a cat). As we were arriving, I saw that none of our lights were on, which was already a red flag as the kitchen light above the sink was ALWAYS on. I already had a sinking feeling in my stomach that something was wrong. All of the doors were locked and my mom’s car wasn’t in the driveway. I stood on my dad’s shoulders as I used a shovel to pry a low window open, climb in, and unlock the front door for my dad. I focused on unlocking the door and didn’t bother turning on the lights, but our Great Dane (the oldest of the three dogs) met me in her excitement. When he got in, we turned on the lights and it was horrible. 2 emaciated puppies in a cage filled with shit, crying to be let out. Shit all over the bottom floor of our house. I let the puppies out and ran upstairs to find that out cat didn’t have any food or water, mind you she was 8 at the time. We actually just ended up putting her down at 12 around 2 weeks ago. Well, all of this was just the beginning. It left my dog with severe food aggression. The first experience I handled was when I accidentally dropped a piece of chicken at the top of the stairs and when I was reaching to get it from me dog, he went ballistic and attacked my hand. I’d cry over that for a long time, but I wouldn’t give up on him. He ran away constantly. Bit. And did a lot more that would make him a “bad dog,” but he wasn’t ever a bad dog. He really wasn’t. That same night I found our animals, I had no choice but to go back to Alabama. My dad didn’t care. I begged to stay, but at the end of the day, my siblings were still in another state alone. I called my mom, who didn’t know we were in Ohio, crying, asking why she’s been lying to me about being home. She’d sent pictures to prove she was there, but I knew she wasnt. We all came back that next day after being kicked out of our aunt’s place. Fast forward a few weeks, we move in a trailer park around an hour and 1/2 away from my original home. We obviously brought my puppy, but we also brought my mom’s Great Dane. My mom was gone before I left school to work. I was alone with both of these dogs everyday and it was hard. Hard to walk either dog, both of which weren’t trained. My puppy was my priority. I could get into a lot more, but fast forward a few years, and I’m 18 now. My dog is doing great. My mom selfishly got a husky puppy 3 days after we put our cat down, and it’s making it hard on my dog. Her new husky bites him relentlessly and won’t get out of my dog’s face. The Great Dane hasn’t been here for a few years now, because my dad ended up moving in with us briefly and let her outside to go potty without a leash attached and she ended up biting a dog. She was sent to live on an actual farm, and she’s thriving. But that means my dogs been alone for years as the only dog. Aside from being great, his biggest issue is recourse guarding. There has been a single “fight” but it was quickly split up and hasn’t happened again (mainly because I keep the dogs separated, which pisses off my mom). As I was saying earlier, I can’t handle living here anymore. The fighting is constant and I just don’t think I can forgive her for anything. My uncle who is now living with us is truly a piece of shit. I don’t want to see my dog go back down the whole. For the first few years of his life, my mom wouldn’t help with anything. She told me I couldn’t go anywhere, that it wasn’t her job to watch him. Ever. My sister willing watches him all the time, but my mom will still get onto me about it not being her job. Recently, though my father is shitty, I went to stay with him because he was offering to give me $100 for my grad. Ceremony (and I needed the money). I told my mom that my dog couldn’t go, because I promised myself I’d never put my dog in danger again. I love him more than anything, but I don’t know how long I can do this. All of this. I refuse to get rid of him, part not being able to and part being selfish. I don’t know what I’ll do when college starts and I can’t afford a bike, meaning I can’t go full time to eventually get my own place. My only dream was to live with my dog, in a place of our own that we could call home, but that dream is getting more distant by the day. I don’t want to cry anymore. I don’t want years of this hopelessness. I want to get myself out of this bad situation. But I don’t have anyone.

English isn’t my first language so bare with me please.
(Little background story here: My parents broke up when I was around 6 or 7 years old which made me really attached to my father) Basically my dad has been dating my “step mom” for 7 or 8 months, lately they’ve been going out everyday for minimum 6 hours. I tried to be happy for them especially for my dad since he seems to actually love her. My problem is that I’m always left alone, I don’t really have friends so going out with them while he’s gone isn’t an option. It’s getting really lonely and annoying because for some reason he gets upset with me whenever I try to bring it up? No idea why tbh. I just feel like I’m “losing” my dad. I have honestly no idea what to do about it. Yes, I know others here have bigger problems and this seems silly to make a big deal about it but it just makes me sad 🤷🏼‍♀️

I lost my father in 2023 from accidental overdose (fentanyl laced drugs). He struggled with a life long of addiction dating back to his teen years. He had spurts of sobriety throughout my childhood and was the best dad during those times even though my childhood wasn’t the best. He was incredibly intelligent, genius level IQ, loved animals, would give the shirt off his back to anyone, amazing mechanic. About 4 years before he passed I ended up having to set a boundary with him and limit contact because I had tried to help him x amount of times (was in my very early 20s at the time) and finally had to remove myself after coming to the end of my rope after risking my life and depleting my very little resources to help. I had to have my uncle intervene. 2-3 months before my dad passed he had reached out to me via text apologizing for his actions. It felt like he wanted to rekindle and see me. I forgave him. He passed shortly after. I dealt with most of his arrangements, cremation, cleaning out the house he was living in, and almost all other decisions by myself. Also dealing with his mother who he was pretty distanced from but never fails to make our individual griefs a competition. I have not taken his passing well. I’m filled with so much sadness and guilt that I should have done more, tried harder to help him. It’s a dark pit. I feel so broken inside and none of these feelings have declined with time. I wish I could have saved him. I have been in therapy and even EMDR, nothing seems to help. I have also been dealing with probate court and lawyers (he inherited a sum of money before he passed) and I am still dealing with it now. I’m not sure if still dealing with his estate has me almost actively living in the pain bc it’s a constant reminder. I feel exhausted in grief. It feels good to type this out, I am open to any advice for wading through this. Please be kind.

I (21F) have been talking to this dude (22m) since March. During that time, we initially had around one or two hangouts weekly just trying to get to know each other. Whenever we hanged out, we tended to lose track of the time because we enjoyed talking and just getting to know one another. Time just flew by and by the time we checked the time, hours have passed.
At some point, the hangouts became more regular casual study sessions where we would just be next to each other studying (sometimes they turned into regular conversational hangouts and no study done but for the most part, we studied like we intended). He would ask what I was up to and I would let him know I was studying at the university library. He would join me after his class ended and we would be there until closing hours.
Then things got more intimate than intended one day (in the moment, it was consensual for both parties) and the next morning he messaged me saying he wanted to talk. He stated that he thought I was a cool person but he had this irrational thought about the night leading to pregnancy and how it made him paranoid. We never did penetration or anything that could result in it aside from casual touching. I told him the thought also crossed my mind and that I understood where he was coming from and it made me uneasy as well. Ever since, things felt off. We talked about why he felt that way and we concluded that that night was an outlier and won't happen again. We also discussed how his paranoia might stem from the fact that he and I did not know each other that well, and that if things were ever to lead to such consequences, he wouldn't feel comfortable with it. Essentially, we were moving too fast, something that I had agreed on. This talk also lead to labels--we decided that we were just friends with an interest in one another seeing if we had potential, which worked good because he and I were both inexperienced and this was all new to us so I had figured that would be a good pace for the both of us. A pacing where we would figure it out in time and we were just testing the waters. We also made it clear that I was more attracted to him than he was to me.
A few weeks past and we continued our study session leading up to graduation. Things were normal. Then we graduated.
We went to go watch a movie. He revealed to me the paranoia came back two times. He dreamed about it two times and would feel paranoid about it. I tried to help relieve the anxiety if I could. I reassured him that if something were to happen, I would tell him and get an abortion. And that I'm also updating him on when my next period comes. I also told him I got my period a week after that night. I was debating if I should just go on birth control to calm his nerves but idk, he and I aren't even in a relationship and my hormones and period are pretty stable. Meanwhile I'm also trying to think about why he feels this way. I end up going back to the fact that he is not interested in me. And that he feels forced to be in this situation. And that he's forcing himself to try and be attracted to me. That this is his subconsciousness screaming at him that he needs to get out of this situation. But when I ask him if this is the case, he says he's attracted to me, just not sure if he into me to the point where he thinks he can take it further. I understood where he was coming from. Because it was similar for me. It's been barely over two months. I still needed to get to know this guy. But at the very least, I knew I liked him and was willing to explore where this could lead to. He was still on the fence.
I ended up staying at his apartment the next weekend since he invited me. And my god, things were awkward. Perhaps we were both stressed and tired. He had a cert exam that he had been grinding on the past few weeks. He took it the morning of the sleepover and he passed!!! As for me, I was anxious with graduation and felt like I was behind on life since I was essentially jobless after graduation and just lost with what to do with myself. During the sleepover, it mainly consisted of us resting--laying on his couch and sleeping on the bed. When we tried playing board/card games, there was an awkward feeling in the air. Conversations didn't flow and died off awkwardly. I could feel that something was off about him too because something was amiss about him and his behavior. Just earlier the week leading up to the sleepover, we felt chill. We hanged out and were also in a call just vibing. But when the sleepover occurred, something was off. We ended up just sleeping from early Saturday evening to Sunday morning. I took a shower and left with a simple bye.
Then we met the next day because we had a dinner and movie planned. The awkwardness from the weekend still lingered. I couldn't fully be in the moment because it was bugging me how he felt off. When he dropped me off, I texted him I wanted to talk. We ended up in a call. I told him I was feeling off because of the weekend and that it was making me overthink and that it would be best if we stopped the physical intimacy. He said he was confused and that the way our conversations sometimes died off awkwardly made him unsure. We would have moments were we would hit it off really well, and others, the conversations just awkwardly died off. We both stated that perhaps it was a sign of incompatibility. He thought I was a cool person but that was it. I knew that I liked him somewhat, that I came into this with the mindset that this was something I wanted to try out and see how it played out. I guess he was just going with the flow. We settled on just being friends.
The next morning, I had a nagging feeling in my chest. I texted him if we could talk. I was going tell him I wasn't sure if I could be friends with him right away and cut him out off my life. But I failed to do so. Instead, I told him everything that I felt and left out the previous night. I told him that I wanted to test the waters a little longer since everyone likes to say 3 months is the amount of time you should aim for. He said he didn't know. We could be friends. Or we could try and see for a little longer. Then I asked him about the dreams. He revealed that the baby dream came back during the weekend when I had slept over. And that it was bugging him a lot. I reiterated to him what would happened if it did end up with that consequence. I would get an abortion and he would know--I would not keep it from him. Then I went into the exact details, how I would go to walgreen/cvs and get a test if my period was off. And that I would give the details of the appointment and even give him my location on the day of the appointment. Then we both reiterated that it was highly unlikely. It seemed to relieve him a bit. Then he stated that he had another a nagging feeling throughout the day, concerned that he was leading me on. I explained to him that he was not leading me on. He and I are both people pleasers. He didn't want to make me sad if he ended things. He'd rather make everyone happy if he can. I told him I knew that he didn't like me like that. If anything, I was leading myself on. If I ended up sad from this ending, then it was on me. I was the one who wanted to take the chance to see where this could go. I am also a people pleaser so I told to please tell me how he felt about all this. He stated again he was unsure but was willing to see where this could go. We ended the night back to the status quo of being friends testing out the waters but lesser physical intimacy.
Now this is the day after and I feel like I fked up. But then if he was so unsure, why did he invite me over to his apartment? And why was he inviting himself to hang out with me more? He also started texting me more and he started calling me in the weeks leading to today. I think I know the answer and that is that he was just looking for physical intimacy in someone since he spent 22 years without the experience of a relationship and that I'm just an opportunity. But he's also a people pleaser so I can't help but also think that he's trying to compensate for his lack of equal attraction to me by initiating more. But he says that he is attracted to me and likes me as a person. Just not sure if it was like that. He said he would like to stay friends if all fails. I think a part of the reason why he said that was to ease the guilt on his ego since he's a people's pleaser. I'm just confused on where he stands. One moment, he seems interested--texting, hanging out, just the normal stuff. The next, he's all confused and unsure. I'm afraid that I'm just forcing myself to be blind and not see his actions as they are: uninterested.
tldr: He is unsure of how he feels and anxious about pregnancy. Did I force him into this situation?

I've been angry for a year now. I've been angry at my mother and her new husband because they abused my sister.
I know my mother is not evil. I know she's incompetent. But the extent of her incompetence is still surprising me every time we "talk".
I told our mother that my sister wishes for her to be more interested in her. I tried to explain this to our mother the second time today and she finally gave it a try... and just talked about herself. Not a single word or question about my sister. Just talked about what happened today. She doesn't even know how to feign interest.
Our mother has missed us and it has hurt her that we're all in Very Low Contact with her. And yet, she has no idea how to ask simple questions like "How are you?" or "What is going on in your life?"
I had to explain to my 60 year old mother that she should ask her daughter about her life. About her job security, because she is forced to find another job again right now.
No response. Nothing.
She is able to hug us and tell us that she loves us. But she's not showing us in any other way.
My anger protected my sister last year, but it did nothing to show my mother what she was doing wrong. I don't know if there's a way. I have finally been able to start showing compassion and it just reveals how utterly lacking of motherly skills she is.
What a broken woman. It breaks my heart.
My sister is seriously considering going No Contact. Every time I talk to our mother, I just get sad. If talking to a loved one hurts every time, what is left to do? I wish I had the strength to suffer through this sadness again and again because I don't think I can go fully NC with my mother.
It was so easy to go NC with my father. I was just relieved to finally be rid of him. Being afraid of someone who's supposed to be a safe person does that. I don't give a fuck if he lives or dies, but losing my mother like this is probably worse than death in a way. I used to smile when thinking about my mother. Now I just get sad.
I have no idea what to do anymore.

My dream was crushed because I have a family and full-time job – now I’m struggling, what advice do you have?
Ever since I (40m) was a teenager, my brother (deceased) and I had a love for vocals and singing. Our particularly favorite genre was rock and metal. I’ve taken this love to various karaoke events throughout my life and even some live karaoke with wonderful feedback. I always knew I was at least halfway decent, but never thought I was great. With no time to receive vocal coaching or learning specifics, I, like most just continued through life singing in the car to my heart’s content.
I could always see myself on stage belting out lyrics, having a crowd sing with me on stage. Always daydreaming while at a concert that band that I was there to see would take me on stage to join them in my favorite song. Real cringy stuff, but that’s what I wanted, to make music and share my love of music with anyone who would listen.
Fast forward through a career in the military, post-retirement and with a pretty cush government job I now have a handful of kids and a second wife who I love dearly. About a month ago, I was scrolling through facebook and saw that a local band was looking for a new lead singer. So, I figured, “What the hell, I’ll give it a shot.” I nailed the audition, and they were very happy with my capability to scream, sing and write lyrics. My dream was starting to take shape.
There was so much excitement in my friend and family circle, especially those who knew of my love for music. This however did not sit well with my spouse (36F); she’d been subjected to play SAHM and deployed spouse during deployments and was not keen on losing her husband again.
So, we discussed the amount of practice time I could put into the band, but NOT how many shows/events/concerts/festivals I could do. Neither of us set expectations for that because that wasn’t a rational thought of what could happen in such a short amount of time. In exchange, I guaranteed her two date nights a month.
Boy, were we wrong. Within a month we were booked for 7 shows, four of them festivals all throughout our state and I had about 3 months to learn 4 songs and write lyrics to the self-titled song. F*&$! The 7 shows over 3 months was too much though. My wife felt like she was losing me to the band and she felt like she was being taken out of the decision-making process and pumped the brakes immediately – after a lot of tears and a little fighting, we settled on one show a month. Ouch, that hurt their relationship with the promoter a bit, but was pretty easy to blame it on the FNG, me.
Not but two days later I ask about throwing in money for merch and to buy gear we can afford. This caused another fight, but little did I know, this wasn’t about money, no. This was about the band getting serious and me being good enough. I felt this was her being scared of success and what that success might bring and how much time away from the family this might cause. This was her assuming that I wouldn’t be strong enough to hit the brakes myself on more shows or that we wouldn’t be able to discuss or communicate. I think she was afraid of the potential change and assumed that based on how fast things were progressing, that she may lose me.
So, I offered a solution.
I Quit the band.
But now she “doesn’t want me to resent her” or “be the reason” I quit. (a little late). So, I offer a new alternative. I help the band find a new singer but play the summer shows. She’s good with that. Until she isn’t. I get the “if that’s what you want to do” response. No, that isn’t what I want to do. It isn’t what she wants either, but my hands a tied! I let the lead band mate know the plan and he’s pissed, tries to convince me that it’s ok, that we can manage; that he’s so grateful to have me be part of the band. That they went through so many other leads, and he doesn’t want to do it again. He is unaccepting that this was the choice made.
So, I get home and then she tells me that its going to be harder to walk away after playing a few shows with them and thinks I should not play any of the summer shows. “Still my choice tho”. I say, “I guess we’ll see.” That was the wrong answer. Because from that conversation, we devolved into one of the only three fights we had in the last 6 years. She cried, I cried and now it’s the next day and I think I’m supposed to cut ties with the band, but I’m not sure how to do it.
I’ve blocked all their numbers and “unfriended” all of them. They can still reach me, but only one way. They don’t know where I live. WTF do I do now? I’m fricken sad. My dream/midlife crisis is over just as fast as it started and these bros that took a shot on me now must pick up a new lead one flippin month.
What about all the support from my friends and family? Eventually the questions is going to be asked. What happened? I thought you were in a band? Yeah, dawg. They weren’t a good fit, so I had to leave.
Someone help me understand from her perspective. How does so much stress, anxiety and fear build up from something neither of us have experienced before? Is this a trauma response from past relationships? How is someone’s heads able to go to the worst possible scenario and believe it will happen if actions aren’t taken the way they think it should.
Update: (I wrote this about a month ago) I quit the band and only talk to one of them now. I think I had my mid life crisis and apologized to everyone I involved In My fantasy.
That’s all I got. Deleting this account and post soon. If you made it this far, I really appreciate you reading and providing feedback, even if its to say I’m being a dumbass.

Former Colorado Buffaloes F Tristan Da Silva declared for the draft and is 100% committed: https://twitter.com/DraftExpress/status/1785032667370832128 It's his birthday today...he is 23 years old. Born in Germany to a Brazilian father and German mother, with a brother who also played in the States at Stanford (Oscar), Da Silva made the jump from Bayern Munich's youth academy to Colorado. He improved every season of his four year career and now is headed to the professional ranks.
Da Silva measured in at 6'8.25 w/out shoes and a 6'10.25 wingspan at the combine. 217 pounds. He's got the height/length you're looking for from a combo forward, although he's on the thinner side. He doesn't have the widest frame but I do think he can gain muscle from where he currently is. He already has year to year and it's something that'll be important for him to continue to add as strength concerns are one of his biggest question marks as a prospect.
Da Silva's athleticism is something that has been called into question. I've read the posts about him in recent days on here, which is somewhat why I saved him for last of the three Colorado guys. I wanted to cut to the chase and really see what people think. I think he's a better athlete than some think he is, but obviously, he isn't a standout athlete either. His lateral quickness is viewed in a negative light by some but it really isn't bad. His lateral quickness is above average. He can hang with guards on switches. He can hang with most forwards. His length really aids him on switches against smaller players. He has the mobility to stay linked and will contest/block when they put a shot up.
Da Silva's issues athletically are that he doesn't have great balance and doesn't have great flexibility. On a straight line drive, Da Silva fares well laterally. He can handle a crossover, he can handle some counters and stick with guards/wings. But it's when he's really forced to make a quick change of direction and reaction when he has his struggles. His biggest issue athletically is that he's not the quickest twitch. He's mobile, he has good feet, he's coordinated, but he's not the most fluid and he's not the quickest twitch. His defensive footwork is very good when he's not being handsy, but unfortunately he does get handsy at times on the drive.
Defending quick rips closing out defensively for example is something he struggles with. He doesn't react consistently well to initial moves. He often does, but not consistently. You can get by him defensively with a quick initial move. His all around defensive awareness is worse than some people seem to think it is...ball watches a ton, back cut a ton, misses out on rebounds, misses out on rotations. When he's focused and dialed in, he's a fantastic rotater. He makes on time, sharp rotations. He helps the helper. He hustles and flies around defensively and is active shoring gaps. But he doesn't do that consistently. He loses focus way too much, for a guy who is billed as a 3/D player. His screen navigation is pretty substandard for a veteran. Just does not navigate traffic well enough and strength sees him bumped off spots when navigating screens. He doesn't get taken out of plays, but he does end up behind plays. He can recover with length and hustle at times, but not always.
His lack of strength hurts his ability to defend the post. He can be a little too upright defensively and while he will battle in the post at times, he can be pretty weak down there. Not being down in a stance possession to possession means you can drive into him from the post and the perimeter. Were a few possessions he actually fell down with drivers going into his chest, and he couldn't maintain his balance. He is generally good at closing out on balance and in a disciplined way but not always...he gets jumpy on defense a little. He overhelps a lot defensively, ends up in no man's land, and gives up open 3's or drives off closeouts...one of his biggest negatives on the defensive end.
He does use his length really well on contests when he stays in front of drivers, he defends PnR ballhandlers well, and he uses his length well in passing lanes. He isn't a major event maker defensively but will break up passes and generate steals with his length and activity off ball. When he's locked in, he's a very good team defender. He's simply not always locked in and he just does not have the physical tools to not be locked in every single possession, either on the perimeter or post. He's one of those guys who's versatile defensively but in a tweener way. He's not really an elite option on anyone, but he's capable. He doesn't have the instincts or the toughness to be a guy who can switch up the lineup, but he is capable against 2/3/4 positions.
Da Silva is a pretty mediocre rebounder for his size which is another red flag surrounding him as a prospect, he's not a bad one but also not someone who's necessarily pursuing balls aggressively by any means. He will be expected to be a contributor on the boards as a swing forward and not being able to do so will undercut his value.
Da Silva has a unique blend of skills on the offensive end. His jump shot is his best trait. He was awesome as a midrange shooter this year and he shot 39% from 3 on 5 attempts. 83.5% from the line, and has shot at least 37% on increasing numbers of attempts the last three seasons. His shot is for real...great mechanics. Great extension, great balance. No wasted motion. He makes shots off screens, and he's an elite C&S guy who does a good job creating space for himself off the catch when coming off screens and when relocating on the perimeter. He has some movement shooting ability, but for the most part he's someone who works his way off flare screens, out of DHO's, off-ball screens and leaking out to the perimeter, and catches and fires. He's a very good pull up shooter. He likes the pull up out of the PnR, off curls and off DHO's in the midrange. He will duck in and find himself open around the FT line and take the FT jumper; he's good at finding gaps for himself for jumpers all over the court. He has a little bit of PnP ability. He sets solid screens himself to open teammates for 3's. He does a very good job slipping screens and diving to the basket or leaking out to the perimeter and obtaining easy looks from the outside. He's always catch ready and he's quick into his motion as a shooter across the board which along with his size makes him hard to contest.
Da Silva will find rollers and cutters out of the PnR. He finds the dump off guy when cutting to the rim. He moves the ball and will make the right read within the flow off the offense. He will bring the ball up and can facilitate and get his team into offense. He's not really an advanced playmaker but has some drive and dish ability and can make solid reads as a live dribble passer, but he also overpenetrates and turns the ball over with bounce passes that don't hit the target. He turns the ball over a lot that way. Gets cut off on drives and attempts a bounce pass to get himself out of trouble. Picks up his dribble at inopportune times. He's not an amazing ballhandler overall...he's a bit gumby like with his movements, he's a bit herky jerky, long strides, has a spin move he likes, and he has a good crossover that does gain him space, but he doesn't have incredible burst nor a special first step and he does not have a ton of advanced moves. He accelerates well and he will get to the rim off his own creation but he isn't always gonna create separation with his handle, and he can lose the ball while looking to create, he will have the ball stripped, and he's not always strong with the ball. He is good with the hostage dribble and keeping defenders on his back...he overall does a nice job with pace. He understands pace, he understands taking rhythm away from defenders, he does have an in-and-out move and he has pretty good control on these moves. He works his way to his spots both in the midrange and inside, in a somewhat deliberate way while still being decisive, but he will be stonewalled in the paint and on drives.
His cutting really is a special part of his game. He has awesome instincts as a cutter---he reads his defenders, and has great timing in concert with the offensive flow of the possession. He dives quickly to the basket. He's good for a few baskets a game as a cutter. He moves well off the ball in general and keeps the offense humming. Off ball screens, weaving through the defense, he stays active on the offensive end which helps keep defenses off balance.
Da Silva has an excellent ball fake. He draws fouls with it down low, and he freezes defenders with it on the perimeter which allows him to get past. He also has a jab step. He will change his stride length and draw contact on drives. He will change speeds and explode to the rim. He has a behind the back counter. He doesn't have a ton of dribble moves but does have a diversity of tools he will turn to, to get inside the paint. He overall has very good timing as a driver, which is what allows him to get inside. He uses the glass well and has opposite hand finishes in his disposal. He drives with both hands. Sometimes he'll try to bait a foul and throw up poor shots with no real chance of a finish. He will be swallowed up around the rim at times where his lack of elite athleticism/strength/ability to create space can come back to hurt him.
Da Silva really likes to use spinners, floaters and hooks around the rim. He gets good extension, has a lot of range as a finisher and will take shots from pretty far out and make them at a high rate. He has very nice touch on these shots. For a guy without tremendous halfcourt explosiveness, this is a very good skill for Da Silva to possess because it gives him an ability to beat contests and an ability to score at the rim even if he isn't able to get directly to it. He has a jump stop, eurostep at his disposal. He has a lot of craft as a creator and around the rim which allows him to be a solid overall finisher but not an elite one.
His comfort with the ball makes him a good transition player. He does well getting to and finishing against defenses that aren't set. It also makes him good against closeouts. He can be a little passive at times, which is a drawback many have had of him over the years. When decisive, he does a good job taking advantage of scrambling defenses in both the halfcourt and in transition. The coordination with the ball and the fact he takes long strides allows him to get to the rim quickly in these possessions. It also aids him as a PnR ballhandler.
Da Silva will use his size to his advantage in the post. He turns some drives into post-ups. He will find cutters and shooters from the post as a passer. He'll hit turnarounds, he'll turn in and finish with layups, he'll turn to the middle and take hook ups and floaters. He has nice touch on these shots and has nice footwork in the post and doesn't get rushed. He's someone that can take advantage of switches down low with an important wrinkle for a forward these days.
Tristan Da Silva has elicited a lot of conversation on this board the last several days. I see him as a guy who is underrated and overrated from person to person. The truth is usually somewhere in the middle. He's an interesting talent, and he's got the framework of a player who has the skills teams look for in a swing forward today, but the not every dot connects. But with his shooting and all around versatile skill set on the offensive end and he having real switchability possibilities defensively, he's someone who is viewed by most as a guy with a pretty high floor.
I'm a little bit...I'm not sure what to think honestly. I'll leave it to y'all. Are you all Thumbs Up, Down, or Across on Tristan Da Silva?

I know this is trivial compared to the heavier stuff on here, so please bear with me. I need to get this off my chest.
I’m 28F, and I’ve been dating my boyfriend (27M) for almost half a year. Embarassingly, I have a desperate need to be shown off by my partner on social media, which stems from some core childhood wounds. When I was 8, I walked into my father's new family's home and saw pictures of the four of them hanging in every room, but only one tiny photo of me on the fridge. Surrounded by grocery receipts.
When I was a bit older, I found out through Facebook photos that my father had his wedding ceremony, that I wasn't invited to. So many more similar experiences made me feel like my father prioritized his new family over me, and I've felt largely invisible in his life, and those feelings have stuck with me. I've been working on these issues with a therapist, and she helped me realize that I have a need to feel highly visible in my partner's life.
In my current relationship, my boyfriend does post about me on social media, but it’s more like on his story, often on his close-friends, and not in-feed posts. Stories are fleeting and disappear after 24 hours, while in-feed posts are there for good. It stings even more when I see him post a lot about events we both attended without mentioning me, or when he posts about his guy best friend on his birthday but doesn’t acknowledge mine on socials. Even as I'm typing this, I know it sounds trivial to be micro-observing and maybe I should just be happy that he posts me sometimes at all, and that we always create amazing in-real life memories, but I can’t help but sometimes compare it to his social media behavior with his ex.
His old Facebook was practically a shrine to his previous relationship, which ended about a year and a half ago. He made couple photos his profile picture, posted about her at events, included her on his feed, with captions about loving or celebrating or being with her, and even had a dedicated Instagram highlight for her. Seeing that made me feel even more insecure and unimportant, although he's done nothing to make me suspect he has feelings for her still. Apparently, she was a toxic girlfriend, despite the happy photos.
When I bring it up, he says he wants to protect his privacy and our relationship, and that what’s important is that everyone close to him knows about me or met me already. He mentioned that he wants to be more "intentional" about what he reveals about his relationship and personal life. He says he wants to "save me for himself." He also mentioned that some men acquaintances would follow his ex after posting her, and he doesn't want the same type of creepy behavior to happen to me. There's been no shady behavior or gut feelings. Just a sadness that he is less eager to show me off.
I know it’s bad to compare, and there could be many reasons for this behavior. He was younger back then and maybe his social media habits has changed. In his early 20s, maybe he wanted to flex his relationship, and now he's outgrown that. Maybe we just haven't been together long enough for him to want to celebrate me publicly. It could be a number of benevolent reasons other than: I'm just a girl who's not worth being shown off. But there is a deep burning desire within me to be flaunted, to feel like someone is so proud to be with me, and I can’t help but feel so sad about it. I always post about my boyfriend, and he says it means a lot to him. But he doesn't do it with as near frequency or thought as me.
I want to talk to him more about it, but I’m not comfortable yet being that vulnerable.
Thanks for listening.