Valentine letters for parents

So disclaimer this is everything my roommate did when she lived with me from my perspective. Also this is a really long story because a lot happened, and I do tend to get sidetracked.
Before we became roommates, I had a situationship with this guy. Let’s call him John. John and I met in our first semester of college and hit it off right off the bat. John was a mutual friend of me and my psychotic roommate, which is how we were introduced. Let’s call her Shortstack. So Shortstack knew I had a thing for John, and was encouraging us to start a relationship which I thought was nice. Eventually, though, when there was a lull in our relationship she admitted to liking John, and I backed off because it was looking like a relationship between me and John wasn’t gonna happen. I did my best to subtly wingman and they ended up dating.
Right before they made it official, I had met someone new. We’ll call him Tim (I’m trying to use generic/default guy names to keep some anonymity). Tim and I hit it off right off the bat. He’s honestly the most genuine, talented, thoughtful, and interesting guy I’ve ever met. Anyway, right before John and Shortstack started dating, I got a text from Shortstack saying she had the hots for Tim and asked if I he was free game. I was a bit bothered by that, but she respected my answer when I politely told her that Tim and I had something good and I didn’t want anyone interfering. At least, I THOUGHT she respected my answer.
Almost a year later and I had asked Shortstack if she wanted to be my roommate so we could both live near school while not having to live on campus. Worst decision ever.
She moved in before I did, and when it was my turn to move in the place was an absolute disaster. Dirty clothes and empty Dominos boxes covered the floor. She had also set up her decorations all over the entire apartment (not really leaving any room for me, which was made worse by the fact that we shared a room, and the apartment was very tiny so we were basically living on top of each other). I brushed it off, but it never really got any better. Normally I wouldn’t be too upset, I’m not a huge neat freak or anything, but it peeved me that she would always point out any mess that I had made.
Here’s a list of some of her really gross habits: dirty underwear everywhere kept old dominos boxes everywhere would buy salads and let them expire and they would sit there until I took them out Refused to do any chores or contribute in any way our shower didn’t fully drain so hair was often left in the tub, but she never cleaned up after herself (meaning I was scrubbing her pubes out of the tub) Used tissues would be left on the ground Not flushing I never once saw her do laundry in the 6 months we lived together
I’m sure there’s more but these are just the ones that I remember. To be fair, here were my gross she took issue with: Leaving dishes in the sink for a long-ass time Letting my laundry basket overflow Walking around in a towel after I took a shower, even when her tinder dates were over (mostly cuz I didn’t give a shit and everything was covered, but I also understand that her glares when I would do that were a little deserved).
That was the easiest part of living with her that I had to deal with. It got so so so much worse, and slowly she started to reveal her true colours.
She had a job at a jewelry store, got fired. Moved to a job at a grocery store across the street, got fired. Bummed around for a few weeks, mostly just sitting on the couch doing arts and crafts. Tried a Zumba class, quit after 2 sessions. Finally she got hired at a movie theatre, but she would only work Friday and weekends. All the while a lot of new things were appearing in our apartment. New makeup, a makeup chair, a tiny plastic Dreamhouse, posters and picture frames, lights, you name it. She was also buying premade meals and continued to order Dominos and DoorDash, never making her own food.
That’s around the time I found a buried letter from our landlord saying she was 2 months behind on rent. (Also an honorable mention about her RGB lights, she would keep them on while I was trying to sleep, even when I had work in the morning which was most days and she’d throw a little hissy fit whenever I asked her to turn them off because it was midnight and I had to get up in a couple hours).
She would constantly be having guys over, but would never tell me, so I’d always come home to a stranger on our couch and I’d uncomfortably lock myself in our room. Walls were thin so I had to listen to her awful flirting and occasionally kissing noises. She had made a goal for herself to kiss at least 30 guys so she could write a book about it, one chapter for each guy. It’s funny because the book is coming out soon, I’m not gonna share the name because I don’t wanna promote an incel’s diary but if you happen to be one of the guys she wrote about, just know that she has said several times her type is “Generic kinda ugly white guys.” I don’t think that’s her type, I think she just says that because all of the super attractive guys she went after all shot her down so quick.
While she’s collecting “ugly-ish white guys” (her words), she has promised herself to some dude in the military overseas who has a ring with their initials carved into it (his name is Matt. I’m not censoring that because I genuinely hope he sees this even though chances are insanely slim. She’s Jodie-ing you my guy, and she wants to elope and marry you to piss her parents off and for financial benefits because she can’t keep a job).
ONTOP of all this, Tim (who at this point I had been with for over a year) would come over and visit sometimes. She was always miserable, but perked up and suddenly became so sweet and friendly whenever he was there. Tim kept trying to drop some social cues that he did not want to talk to her, but she ignored it. I also want to mention that Tim is incredibly attractive, physically and personality wise, which is the main reason I think that “ugly” isn’t actually her type, it’s just all she can get.
Oh quick mention one of her tinder guys was 17. She was close to 20 at the time. She said their age gap made her uncomfortable but she invited him over because she wanted to, and I quote, “lick his abs.” Take that as you will.
My breaking point with her was when I woke up one day with a random man in the room sleeping next to her. She let a random man from tinder have full unsupervised access to 2 unconscious girls and all of their valuable items. There’s more stuff she did but this is already super long so I’m going to leave it on this note. Let me know if you guys wanna hear the rest.

So disclaimer this is everything my roommate did when she lived with me from my perspective. Also this is a really long story because a lot happened, and I do tend to get sidetracked.
Before we became roommates, I had a situationship with this guy. Let’s call him John. John and I met in our first semester of college and hit it off right off the bat. John was a mutual friend of me and my psychotic roommate, which is how we were introduced. Let’s call her Shortstack. So Shortstack knew I had a thing for John, and was encouraging us to start a relationship which I thought was nice. Eventually, though, when there was a lull in our relationship she admitted to liking John, and I backed off because it was looking like a relationship between me and John wasn’t gonna happen. I did my best to subtly wingman and they ended up dating.
Right before they made it official, I had met someone new. We’ll call him Tim (I’m trying to use generic/default guy names to keep some anonymity). Tim and I hit it off right off the bat. He’s honestly the most genuine, talented, thoughtful, and interesting guy I’ve ever met. Anyway, right before John and Shortstack started dating, I got a text from Shortstack saying she had the hots for Tim and asked if I he was free game. I was a bit bothered by that, but she respected my answer when I politely told her that Tim and I had something good and I didn’t want anyone interfering. At least, I THOUGHT she respected my answer.
Almost a year later and I had asked Shortstack if she wanted to be my roommate so we could both live near school while not having to live on campus. Worst decision ever.
She moved in before I did, and when it was my turn to move in the place was an absolute disaster. Dirty clothes and empty Dominos boxes covered the floor. She had also set up her decorations all over the entire apartment (not really leaving any room for me, which was made worse by the fact that we shared a room, and the apartment was very tiny so we were basically living on top of each other). I brushed it off, but it never really got any better. Normally I wouldn’t be too upset, I’m not a huge neat freak or anything, but it peeved me that she would always point out any mess that I had made.
Here’s a list of some of her really gross habits: dirty underwear everywhere kept old dominos boxes everywhere would buy salads and let them expire and they would sit there until I took them out Refused to do any chores or contribute in any way our shower didn’t fully drain so hair was often left in the tub, but she never cleaned up after herself (meaning I was scrubbing her pubes out of the tub) Used tissues would be left on the ground Not flushing I never once saw her do laundry in the 6 months we lived together
I’m sure there’s more but these are just the ones that I remember. To be fair, here were my gross she took issue with: Leaving dishes in the sink for a long-ass time Letting my laundry basket overflow Walking around in a towel after I took a shower, even when her tinder dates were over (mostly cuz I didn’t give a shit and everything was covered, but I also understand that her glares when I would do that were a little deserved).
That was the easiest part of living with her that I had to deal with. It got so so so much worse, and slowly she started to reveal her true colours.
She had a job at a jewelry store, got fired. Moved to a job at a grocery store across the street, got fired. Bummed around for a few weeks, mostly just sitting on the couch doing arts and crafts. Tried a Zumba class, quit after 2 sessions. Finally she got hired at a movie theatre, but she would only work Friday and weekends. All the while a lot of new things were appearing in our apartment. New makeup, a makeup chair, a tiny plastic Dreamhouse, posters and picture frames, lights, you name it. She was also buying premade meals and continued to order Dominos and DoorDash, never making her own food.
That’s around the time I found a buried letter from our landlord saying she was 2 months behind on rent. (Also an honorable mention about her RGB lights, she would keep them on while I was trying to sleep, even when I had work in the morning which was most days and she’d throw a little hissy fit whenever I asked her to turn them off because it was midnight and I had to get up in a couple hours).
She would constantly be having guys over, but would never tell me, so I’d always come home to a stranger on our couch and I’d uncomfortably lock myself in our room. Walls were thin so I had to listen to her awful flirting and occasionally kissing noises. She had made a goal for herself to kiss at least 30 guys so she could write a book about it, one chapter for each guy. It’s funny because the book is coming out soon, I’m not gonna share the name because I don’t wanna promote an incel’s diary but if you happen to be one of the guys she wrote about, just know that she has said several times her type is “Generic kinda ugly white guys.” I don’t think that’s her type, I think she just says that because all of the super attractive guys she went after all shot her down so quick.
While she’s collecting “ugly-ish white guys” (her words), she has promised herself to some dude in the military overseas who has a ring with their initials carved into it (his name is Matt. I’m not censoring that because I genuinely hope he sees this even though chances are insanely slim. She’s Jodie-ing you my guy, and she wants to elope and marry you to piss her parents off and for financial benefits because she can’t keep a job).
ONTOP of all this, Tim (who at this point I had been with for over a year) would come over and visit sometimes. She was always miserable, but perked up and suddenly became so sweet and friendly whenever he was there. Tim kept trying to drop some social cues that he did not want to talk to her, but she ignored it. I also want to mention that Tim is incredibly attractive, physically and personality wise, which is the main reason I think that “ugly” isn’t actually her type, it’s just all she can get.
Oh quick mention one of her tinder guys was 17. She was close to 20 at the time. She said their age gap made her uncomfortable but she invited him over because she wanted to, and I quote, “lick his abs.” Take that as you will.
My breaking point with her was when I woke up one day with a random man in the room sleeping next to her. She let a random man from tinder have full unsupervised access to 2 unconscious girls and all of their valuable items. There’s more stuff she did but this is already super long so I’m going to leave it on this note. Let me know if you guys wanna hear the rest.

Messaging on behalf of a friend needing assistance with establishing child support in Florida:
BACKGROUND: She has a 7 year old with the baby daddy who has been out of the picture for over 4 years now. When he left, they were living together in an apartment when he trashed the place (holes in walls, broken doors, etc) and walked out leaving a ~$3K charge to her credit report. She has been working as a server and also knocking out a nursing degree, graduating with her bachelors degree this summer. It’s been very tough financially and she is now facing an eviction because the apartment raised rent by $350 with only a 2 week notice so the additional child support income would make an immense difference if we succeed.
INFO: She opened up a case with the Florida Department of Revenue (DOR) child support program (CSP) in June of 2023 and they gave feedback that they could not find him. Earlier this year, she was able to find his legitimate address and place of work to submit in her case. Despite all of this, she recently received a letter in the mail from the Florida DOR CSP stating:
‘On 06/07/2023, we started this proceeding by issuing a Notice of Proceeding to Establish Administrative Support Order. We have decided to end this proceeding because We have been unable to find the other parent to serve the first notice.
This proceeding is terminated without prejudice. If circumstances change, a judicial or administrative proceeding may be started at a later date.’
ASK: Has anyone else had this type of trouble? It feels like we basically did DOR CSP’s job by finding the baby daddy’s address and place of work but they still came back with the letter saying they couldn’t find him. What are our options to get them to put him in a ‘found’ state in their system so that everything else can move forward in the process?

I recently received a penalty fare notice on the tram (stupid mistake, have learnt my lesson ig) for which I am fairly confident an appeal would not be accepted (judging by the info on the website as I got my ticket after boarding).
My question is do NetGo! send physical mail when the fine is issued? I ask as the address they took was my home address (I’m a student here) and I’d like to know whether to expect my parents to received a letter about the fine (knowing them they’ll open it even though it would be in my name).
Many thanks for any help and sorry for the slightly ramble-y post.

Hello,
I am desperate. I have tried reading books to find tools to teach my son how to read (schools are no help), books by Orton Gillingham, Engelmann, Comprehensive Literacy for All, reading him Numerous kids books- repetitively. Nothing is helping.
He has autism, ID, SPD, LD, ADHD, ODD and a plethora of other labels. To top it all he is nonverbal with limited receptive language skills. He and I - We both need help.
He can recognize alphabets but while reading he isnt able to distinguish between letters and sounds. So cat is either c or a or t - basically phonemic awareness is missing. For more context he is almost 11. (Judge if you want to - i would judge myself too. But i am already beating myself up and i know that i haven’t nt been a good parent despite trying so hard.)
I need a book that i can use to teach myself how to teach him - not just something with definitions and theories, but something that i can read put to use practically to help him - with ways, methods, work-pages, practice tools etc.
If you know of such a book which can help me help him, please do comment.

Hello, it's my first time ever posting on Reddit. I am also German and pretty young (sqr of 225) so I'm sorry if my English isn't the best. I just want to share my story, be truthful for once and maybe get some advice. In September last year a couple of friends and I wanted to play a game of valorant, we were 4 and 5 are required to play the game. So I decided to join a random discord server and find someone to play with us. That someone was a girl, let's call her Lilly for simplicity, she was nice and I invited her to play with us. My friends were very young and I was the only one who spoke English semi fluently. After chatting, while actively playing the game, we exchanged names and got a bit acquainted. She is 1 year older than I am and she is from Canada. I kinda liked her and I was single for a couple of years, so I obviously was kinda attracted to her. It didn't really help that she had a very cute voice and the fact that she definitely was horny. Nothing happened, we won a couple of games and called it a day. We made plans for the next day though and started hanging out frequently. I think two days after I met her, my hamster passed away and she was the only one I really wanted to talk to. She comforted me and made me feel better. After a couple of weeks I finally confessed my feelings by asking her if she would consider being something more than friends. She was happy and told me that we can be more than just friends. I told her I loved her for the first time over text and she said it back, which really really made me extremely happy. After a week passed by, I asked her to be my girlfriend. This time around she rejected me but she still seemed to be incredibly happy with me asking her. A bit of time later we started saying I love you to each other constantly and we would hang out every second day. After getting mad at me for being bad in league of legends, which I btw just played for her, she abruptly hung up. I texted her and asked her if she was ok and she started telling me, she had BPD and that she was sorry for being mad at me. I read about it and researched for like two days and because she didn't really show any symptoms, I did the worst possible thing and forgot about it in a way. Our relationship was really good, we both enjoyed spending time with each other and basically behaved like a couple. We talked about it a couple of months ago and we both agreed, that we were basically dating. She started distancing herself and cancelling plans, by just ignoring me. I was hurt and forgot about her BPD, I don't only want to talk myself down, I might not like myself but it's still unfair to not mention how it affected me mentally, I was kinda miserable, that still doesn't validate my decision to play with her fear of abandonment. I didn't have any bad intentions but I still hurt her. My condition worsened too, I started having like 5 hours of sleep every day and I was constantly thinking of her. I failed to keep my facade up and I hurt my loved ones by not being myself. I feel so bad that I have hurt my parents, my two friends at the time and her. I still ask myself why I am so emotional about it, others experience way way worse and are still happy. I feel bad for having this urge to seek help, Lilly suffers through so much more. It really breaks my heart every time I have to think about that Anyways after she ignored me the morning of some day, I forgot to mention that I was waking up at 5am every day just to text her good morning or good night, she didn't reply at all. I was hurt and since our relationship was doing worse over the last couple of days, I started to freak out and texted her that I had a panic attack and stuff, which I immediately regretted a lot It was true but obviously a terrible move to make She replied, I apologized countless times and understood if she would have wanted to leave me there After like half an hour she told me "I am a bad word", I did the rational thing and told her she wasn't and that she shouldn't call herself that. Problem being she actually is She explained to me that she was throwing around with nudes I had a feeling in my gut that she was doing that for some time cause of little things she said along our relationship I should have left her. I didn't and told her either me or her hobby I even offered to fill the gap, I never actually wanted to be sexual with her ever I fantasized about it and liked it but I was and still am just not ready She never really chose and rather broke up a week later After another week she texted me again, we talked about it and decided to continue being friends but just friends We hung out once a month and spent some time texting every week I fell for her again, at least I think I did After I told her we could speak more often and that it would be ok for me, we spoke one more time and then I went to Egypt on a vacation I thought about her a lot I came home on Valentine's Day, texted her and didn't get a response She started ignoring me and randomly started sending me spicy pictures and gave me some attention I enjoyed the night but I felt bad for some reason We started texting a bit more frequently and she started ignoring me again I told her in a very sweet way I would like to move on And she came back I focused more on treating her right and started learning more about BPD, I fucked up once because I was trying to hang out with her and after I asked her quite frequently She got very mad at me We started texting and everything got better for a couple of days Someday she asked me if I'd like to hang out and I obviously said yes After a cold reunion, we had a good time, we played league and I was playing terrible in the last game, she wanted me to leave and so I did I text her, she ignored me But started saying back good morning and stuff Well for like 3 days, then she stopped I asked her if everything was ok She told me she didn't want to talk and I said ok but she could always text me She simply said she didn't want to I don't know if I misinterpreted it but I responded with a short explanation that I know it's not easy for neither one of us and that we were on a good way I also promised her to not text her I skipped a lot because I just don't remember details or don't want to bore you I'm so incredibly sorry for hurting her and for talking with friends over my relationship problems I hate myself so incredibly for it I don't feel any happiness anymore and every feeling seems to be so distant I shake very hard when I text her and I either always think of her or I catch myself avoiding her I hate myself a lot for everything, I just wanted to help her I wanted to be happy And I got heartbroken and made fun of by very close friends, I was getting bullied and I didn't get a single bit of appreciation ever in my life by anyone but my parents I don't think I deserve love I'm trying so hard to be who I'm supposed to be But I at least still appreciate life, so don't worry about me If you want to help, please give me some advice on what I should do and how I can actually go through with it
TL; Dr: it's about my relationship with my borderline partner and how BPD can affect both parties
Thank you for reading I hope I entertained you a bit, I would really appreciate any serious advice and I ask myself the question of I should just let her ignore me or text her

Been dealing with CPTSD/autism and finally got diagnosed with CPTSD a little while ago after knowing I had it for several years (known about autism since 2012). I've strongly considered writing a letter to my parents through snail mail, with no return address. I've had a lot running through my mind lately and I know that my parents are getting up there in age. They should be 86 and 65 right now and I feel like before they pass on I need to let them know the damage they did to me, and how my life has been significantly better without them, that I won't ever forgive them.
I feel like if I did it, I could finally move on and throw it out as an anchor knowing that it's out there. Just writing it and throwing it away just didn't do it for me, it still felt like the environment that hurt me still won in that case.
Does it sound like a good idea and if so has anyone else done it and how did it go for you?

TLDR: Im scared to make the jump of ending things. I love him but I don’t think I’m in love with him anymore. Im scared it’s the wrong decision. Im scared to start over. Im worried financially. Im worried about our pets.
If you can do math I’m sure you can see that my boyfriend and I started dating pretty young, if anything I’d say he is my first love. I thought he was my true love. Backstory: We moved in together after about 7mo of dating (with roommates) then a few months later just the two of us. Things were great, we were working on our careers and got two dogs. It felt like we had a little family and happy life. Fast forward three years: we go on a trip with his family. His dad flips his shit on us about finances in an airport but is primarily yelling at me because my partner was being submissive and not questioning or trying to discuss this with his dad. His dad also brought our relationship into his yelling, saying things like I don’t make my BF happy, he doesn’t support our relationship. It was really shocking and “random” for me to see this display. It honestly sent me into a depression to be broken down like that publicly, with no warning, by my boyfriend’s dad and him not even sticking up for me or our relationship. My bf telling me the entire trip home and at home that that’s how his dad is, that he’s sorry, and he doesn’t know why his dad said those things. That he’s happy with me. Three months later I catch him texting other girls talking about meeting up. I already had a girls trip planned coming up and told him I needed time to sort through all of this given that I feel like I was dealt blow after blow. I came back from the trip and we talked about it more, I asked numerous times if there’s something I’m not doing right or if I do truly make him unhappy. He denies, says that he doesn’t know why he reached out to other women and that it was a stupid mistake that will never happen again. Of course for awhile I was on edge and wary but I loved him and wanted to make this work. A few more months later I was trying to find a tattoo artist he follows and showed me on instagram. But instead I found him following a lot of explicit female pages. I told him that this made me uncomfortable especially given our recent issues and set a boundary to not continue following/looking at these women. For the past year I feel as though things have been good and my trust is back for him. Here’s the but: 1) I don’t feel like I enjoy his conversation anymore or it’s gotten less. I feel like I have to initiate every conversation, find things to talk about. 2) I feel like I almost have to mom him or be his parent. Having to help him file his taxes, figure out his car insurance, his doctors appointments, cleaning etc. 3) He’s not romantic. We’ve had numerous conversations about how I want to surprise occasionally, I want him to do something romantic for me. I’ve quite literally almost begged him to. He always says he’ll try harder and he’s sorry. I know everyone has different love languages giving and receiving but I feel as though we’ve both communicated ours and it’s feeling one sided. Some anniversaries or valentines we took it easy and just did a cute dinner together. Some I planned trips for us. One year I did a surprise beach trip. For our 5yr anniversary I did a spa resort since neither of us had gone and well it’s our big 5 year anniversary! I don’t want to degrade him and say he’s never done anything for me but I just don’t feel like we’re on the same level. We just got back from a week long trip to the PNW we’ve been wanting to do for years. He didn’t put any effort into planning so I made the entire itinerary including finding where to eat at during the trip. I feel like this trip really snapped for me. Our 6yr anniversary is next month and I almost want to just not bother and see what he does, if anything. I know I shouldn’t expect things but I thought he was going to propose during our 5yr anniversary because he occasionally would ask what kind of wedding rings I liked. When he didn’t, I thought maybe he was waiting for a romantic trip like the PNW since we always talk about where we would and wouldn’t want to be proposed at. He didn’t. I know it sound silly to expect a ring when I’m sitting here questioning staying with him. Because I’m usually a logically person and clearly a planner and mentally made a pros and cons list.. and the reasons I kept coming back to for not leaving him is 1) we have long history together 2) I love him and I don’t want to hurt him 3) the stress of having to decide moving out and furniture 4) we have two dogs together 5) financially 6) I’m scared to start over.

I was with my ex for a year before he broke up with me. Mine F (22) and he’s M (24). During our honeymoon stage we was so in love and enjoyed each other company. We met in late November and we were friends with benefits. We use to hang iut together. We use to sleep in my car to be together. No clothes and just a blanket. We didn’t care as long as we had each other. We were fine. When we were together we didn’t see no one but each other. I got pregnant in December and got a abortion in march. We already had a kid on the way and he wasn’t ready to have another one. He didn’t have a car, he worked at food lion, he had a apartment, and he didn’t have much. I didn’t want to the abortion but it was the best decision at the time for us. I use to help him get his son and pick me up. I picked him up from work, pick him uo from interviews, helped him get a new phone when his old ine got messed up. I always helped him out in anyway and form. This was in the beginning of 2022.
We moved from the situation. We talked about it and were happy. We moved in together in October 2022. It was the worst and happiest decision ever. The beginning was fun. We stayed up late and watched movies. We did normal young couple stuff. I loved it because i got to be around him 24/7 with no one else beside his son. We were a little family. He would go out with his friends but he would always come back home late. He would always be the designated driver when they go out. None of his friends had a car so they used him. I didn’t like it and I told him I didn’t, they used him when it benefit them. He always worked overtime and was always at work to provide for us. I was conplain about us spending some time together like on the weekends but he was too tired from work and he would rather hang out with his friends. This went on for months. He invited people over who I didn’t know and he didn’t tell me. When he went on a trip to Atlanta, he needed helped getting back. His friends that were in his car didn’t have money and therir parents didn’t give him money for gas. He called me and told me to give him $100 dollars to get home. We started to fuss. I told him i’m not there to help him and he need to figure it out his self. He got mad and started to get loud at me about the money. I understand he was stressed and pissed about it but i gave him money to get there for gas and food and i gave him some money before he left. He should’ve had enough money. When i went on my trip he didn’t give me no money.
My birthday last year he broke up with me over stupid stuff. He layed around on my birthday and didn’t care. He got mad about it. I took him out and went to cheddars and I paid for it. I cried in the restaurant. He lied multiple times about why he did it. I cried for the whole month of august because i felt like i was not good enough for him. He went out every weekend with friends and ignored me. He only used me for sex. I cried to him and he looked at me like i was stupid and i made him bored. I was unhappy that whole month but he didn’t care. I went on a trip with my family, I was miserable but I faked it for my fmaily. He was out with friends when i was gone. He didn’t care. We were broken up for 2 weeks. He tried to get back with me but i said no. We got back together so way.
I got pregnant in October of 2023. He was unhappy about the baby. He wasn’t ready. He said he wanted to travel, get a house, build his self, grow and more. I was sad because i knew what he wanted me to do. He told me he wanted me to get a abortion. My last abortion made me depressed and sad. I got tired of it. Our lease was ending in November 2023. We both went back home. I was pregnant and emotionally. I needed him.
For two moths we were happy and excited to grow our family. We still had problems. He still went out with his friends. He went out with some girl and her mom to get me a Christmas. He never got me nothing. The last gift he got me was valentines day in 2022. He came to my house, I was mad. I told him i didn’t like her and that he need to stop talking to her. I told him, she likes him but he didn’t believe me. He said that’s his friend. One day she facetime him when he was getting a haircut. I ignored it but i thought about answering. I never trusted their relationship there. I still don’t.
Christmas eve, we was going out to eat. We came to my house to chill. I got out the care i felt like it was my time of the mont. I looked down and saw blood. I got scared and told my family. They told us to go to the hospital to see what’s going on. We went and waited for hours. I was scared but i tried not to show it. I knew it wasn’t normal to bleed when your pregnant. Wewent to get a ultrasound and the whole time i was scared. My boyfriend at the time cane with me (my ex). She didn’t say nothing when checking my baby. But at the end of the ultrasound she said she was fine and healthy. I was happy. Then we went to a room to talk to a doctor. They thought I had something so they gave me medicine for it but I was worried about the blood. But they said it would go away on its on. We were the last people to leave the hospital and we were tired.
For about a whole week of Christmas week, I bled. I was worried because it lasted too long. I told my family about my concerns. I couldn’t go see a doctor because of christmas and every one was out of work.
My boyfriend ( my ex) took me out for new years eve, we went to juicy crab. We fussed a little about dumb stuff. After he drop me off, he went to a party with friends. I just wanted to spend time with him. We didn’t live together anymore and i missed him. The next day I felt like i was in intense pain. It felt like i was on my period. It started at 6 in the morning and it lasted all day. I was throwing up and bleeding. I called my then boyfriend to come get me. He called the ambulance. He saw my bathroom and he was terrified. I felt weak and i could barely keep my eyes open.
I was still in pain when i got to the hospital. My family came to check up on me. I was too weak to care about my self and in pain to focus. They told me, my baby was trying to come out early. I was having a miscarriage. I was in the hospital for 5 days. I lost my baby girl on the third day. I was sad and i just wanted my boyfriend. He only came two days. He would go to work and then come stay the night with me. He still didn’t have a car. I cried every night when left alone. My mom kept me company when he wasn’t there. He called and texted me through out the day when he was at work. My last day at the hospital, i was ready to go home and get in my own bed. He didn’t text or called me on my last day. I had to tell his friend i was leaving the hospital to tell him. I felt sad because my boyfriend didn’t care about me or was checking up on me. We fussed about him not being there with me. He got mad that i didn’t let him drive my car to get to work and come see me at night. My parents would’ve fussed me out if i gave him my car to use. They told me not to give him my car.
That Saturday he was acting weird to me. He didn’t text or call me. He went out with friends to look at apartments a hour away. He didn’t tell me until the day of. We had two plan to when he have out baby girl. The first one was to move to raleigh and the second one was to wait until she was one to be able to talk and walk to move to raleigh. And we wanted her to be around family. I didn’t know he was still planning to move after everything. He was moving with his friends. I was sad he was moving on. I always got jealous when he would bond with his son. Everytime he was around me, he would call him friends to talk about the big move and what they was going to do. I cried because he didn’t care about me or my baby, he was moving on. It hurt that he never consider my feelings about everything and how i felt about it.
For three months, he treated me like shit. He would ignore my call and text messages. He acted like I didn’t exist. But he still would keep me around to use me to help him out. Helped him get to Raleigh to help his brother with his moving company, help him to get to work and more. I felt alone and depressed. I was going through postpartum. I wrote him a letter about everything from us to our baby girl. He didn’t acre about it. It took him a 2 week to read. I just wanted him to hold me and tell him everything was going to be alright. Everytime he was around me he jsut wanted sex. I took him to Raleigh to look at cars for him. He saw car he wnated and it was his dream car. A 2021 dodge charger. He only had $1,000 in his saving. Because he spent most of his saving trying to fix his other car that his friend he stayed with messed up. They wanted him to put down more on it. He looked at me and asked could i put down $650. I didn’t wnat to help him becashe never helped me and he treate me like shit after i lost our baby. Eventually i said yes i would put the money down to get the car. He needed insurance to get the car too so i put him on mines. I did too much for him. His birthday was days before he got his car. He was happy and i was happy to see i caused it. We just losted our baby so we both were going through it.
He posted on facebook and instagram like i wasn’t there or helped him get the car. I was mad because he didn’t acknowledge me or anything. But quick to act like he got it on his own. I loved him to death. He still treated me like shit afterwards. He didn’t care. He just used me. He was suppose to help me pay for my lawyer but he only gave me $200. My lawyer fees in total cost was $750. I paid all of it by myself. He still haven’t paid me.
Now he talking to different girls and partying. That’s what he wanted from the beginning. He was never ready to have a family with me. He still lie to me and tell me he see his self with me. and that he doesn’t care about me. I hide all our pictures and I delete our text messages. Everything felt like a lie with him. Nothing felt true or real.
I don’t want to get my feelings evolved with another person to hurt me emotionally. I don’t want to feel the same way i did with him for the past 8 months. I wasn’t myself. I don’t love him the same or see him as my lover. He feel like a stranger in his body. I still wanted us to start over and have a better start in life. I miss him and love him still. But i’m not going to wait around for him to come back to me.

TLDR: Im scared to make the jump of ending things. I love him but I don’t think I’m in love with him anymore. Im scared it’s the wrong decision. Im scared to start over. Im worried financially. Im worried about our pets.
If you can do math I’m sure you can see that my boyfriend and I started dating pretty young, if anything I’d say he is my first love. I thought he was my true love. Backstory: We moved in together after about 7mo of dating (with roommates) then a few months later just the two of us. Things were great, we were working on our careers and got two dogs. It felt like we had a little family and happy life. Fast forward three years: we go on a trip with his family. His dad flips his shit on us about finances in an airport but is primarily yelling at me because my partner was being submissive and not questioning or trying to discuss this with his dad. His dad also brought our relationship into his yelling, saying things like I don’t make my BF happy, he doesn’t support our relationship. It was really shocking and “random” for me to see this display. It honestly sent me into a depression to be broken down like that publicly, with no warning, by my boyfriend’s dad and him not even sticking up for me or our relationship. My bf telling me the entire trip home and at home that that’s how his dad is, that he’s sorry, and he doesn’t know why his dad said those things. That he’s happy with me. Three months later I catch him texting other girls talking about meeting up. I already had a girls trip planned coming up and told him I needed time to sort through all of this given that I feel like I was dealt blow after blow. I came back from the trip and we talked about it more, I asked numerous times if there’s something I’m not doing right or if I do truly make him unhappy. He denies, says that he doesn’t know why he reached out to other women and that it was a stupid mistake that will never happen again. Of course for awhile I was on edge and wary but I loved him and wanted to make this work. A few more months later I was trying to find a tattoo artist he follows and showed me on instagram. But instead I found him following a lot of explicit female pages. I told him that this made me uncomfortable especially given our recent issues and set a boundary to not continue following/looking at these women. For the past year I feel as though things have been good and my trust is back for him. Here’s the but: 1) I don’t feel like I enjoy his conversation anymore or it’s gotten less. I feel like I have to initiate every conversation, find things to talk about. 2) I feel like I almost have to mom him or be his parent. Having to help him file his taxes, figure out his car insurance, his doctors appointments, cleaning etc. 3) He’s not romantic. We’ve had numerous conversations about how I want to surprise occasionally, I want him to do something romantic for me. I’ve quite literally almost begged him to. He always says he’ll try harder and he’s sorry. I know everyone has different love languages giving and receiving but I feel as though we’ve both communicated ours and it’s feeling one sided. Some anniversaries or valentines we took it easy and just did a cute dinner together. Some I planned trips for us. One year I did a surprise beach trip. For our 5yr anniversary I did a spa resort since neither of us had gone and well it’s our big 5 year anniversary! I don’t want to degrade him and say he’s never done anything for me but I just don’t feel like we’re on the same level. We just got back from a week long trip to the PNW we’ve been wanting to do for years. He didn’t put any effort into planning so I made the entire itinerary including finding where to eat at during the trip. I feel like this trip really snapped for me. Our 6yr anniversary is next month and I almost want to just not bother and see what he does, if anything. I know I shouldn’t expect things but I thought he was going to propose during our 5yr anniversary because he occasionally would ask what kind of wedding rings I liked. When he didn’t, I thought maybe he was waiting for a romantic trip like the PNW since we always talk about where we would and wouldn’t want to be proposed at. He didn’t. I know it sound silly to expect a ring when I’m sitting here questioning staying with him. Because I’m usually a logically person and clearly a planner and mentally made a pros and cons list.. and the reasons I kept coming back to for not leaving him is 1) we have long history together 2) I love him and I don’t want to hurt him 3) the stress of having to decide moving out and furniture 4) we have two dogs together 5) financially 6) I’m scared to start over.

Hey Reddit,
I don’t normally post like this—hell, I never post with my porn account—but I’m especially lost right now. Two years ago, I got into a doctoral program for English lit, thinking it was what I wanted for my career. I’ve always excelled in school, so grad school would be a cinch! I got BAs in English and Creative Writing during undergrad, and it was some of the most rewarding work I’ve ever done. Grad school has been two years of (what feels like) a continuous mental health crisis, and today I may have wasted my last chance to get out with a degree.
I’ve dealt with anxiety and depression my entire life (medicated for six years), but after moving away to school, I very quickly spun off the rails. I was the furthest from home I had ever been, away from family and friends and my support network. My relationship with booze and weed, which had been casual, became habitual. I’m not the most social person to begin with, but the isolated lifestyle of grad school made it worse than I could have imagined. The only friends I had were in my cohort, and their being somewhere in between coworker and friend made it difficult to speak with them candidly about my struggles. After all, they had the same workload that I did, so complaining felt stupid, and sharing the extent of how bad shit had gotten seemed like it would be a one-way ticket to a grippy socks vacation.
Frankly, I should probably have gone on that vacation. I could still use one. There hasn’t been a day gone by since, like, October 2022 that I haven’t thought about killing myself. Most of the time it isn’t active, just your typical ideation like “Oh, grad school makes me want to die lol.” One of my favorite recurring ideations is hurling myself into an industrial woodchipper like in Fargo—it’s so ridiculously violent that it usually snaps me right out of my funk. Where would I even find an industrial woodchipper?
It’s gotten worse lately though. This winter was bad. I’d fantasize about finding the nearest Wal-mart and exercising my constitutional right to purchase a firearm, driving to one of the many nearby beautiful state parks that I was never able to find time to go visit during the semester, and blowing my brains out. When I realized that I needed to give my family some plausible deniability for my suicide so they could grieve my loss rather than my decision, I’d fantasize instead about “losing control” on the highway. I hoped the seatbelt would take my head and launch it straight out the windshield. Or I’d fantasize about pulling a Christopher Supertramp and just leaving without warning to fuck off and die in the woods—not violently, but by something that looked natural. God, what I wouldn’t give to be devoured by a bear.
All of these options were moot though, as I was too anxious to leave my house and drive for groceries for the entirety of March and April. Can’t drive yourself off a bridge if you’re too afraid to drive. Fret not though, friends—I’m back home with family now, stable and safe, and I no longer feel the pull of the void quite so strongly as I did at school.
Anyways, the workload was like nothing I had experienced in undergrad, and even though I knew it was going to be a lot of work, I thought I could keep up.
I was wrong.
I really gave it my best effort that first semester. I prepped each class I taught as a TA excessively, answered student emails within five minutes of receiving them. I started every other day with an anxiety vomit, but I went to class. I did my best to read everything assigned to me. I threw myself at Foucault and Derrida and fuckin Homi Bhabha and the 40 other opaque critical theorists they had us read, and I struggled through them to the best of my ability, but I never seemed to be on the same page as anyone else, so I found it more and more difficult to speak up in class until I stopped speaking entirely. Still, I wrote the 75 pages of critical writing they assign to us in the last week of the semester. I barely slept and hardly ate. I wrote what I thought they wanted, did my best to model myself after what we had read.
They told me that my efforts were disappointing, that my work “barely qualified” as critical writing. I think part of me died when I got that feedback. I got the impression, at least from the instructor who told me I barely qualified, that I had disrespected them on a professional and personal level. I come from a creative writing background, so I tend to inject personality and voice into whatever I write. Both my peers and other faculty I’ve discussed this feedback with agree that the paper (while definitely not fully formed) did not warrant that level of harshness, but it broke something in me.
I kept up for most of the second semester, but by the time those end-of-semester essays rolled around, I felt a writer’s block like I had never felt before. It wasn’t the sort that went away if I forced myself to write through it, like every other time I’d felt the block before. No, this was debilitating. I was paralyzed. I tried chipping away at it, and I tried tricking myself into writing by telling myself I was just taking notes. None of my old tricks worked, even that time-honored tradition of putting my back to the wall by waiting until the deadline and writing manic, anxiety-fueled bullshit. Every time I had ever faced something like this before—a mountain of writing that I didn’t want to do—I eventually slipped into gear and got it done.
It didn’t happen. For the first time in my life, I didn’t complete a final essay. I just couldn’t force myself to give a fuck. I couldn’t give a fuck about my work, about my grades, about my reputation at the university, about my future career, about my future continued existence. At some point, I became apathetic to my life and the world around me, but still, I pressed on because it was the only thing I thought I could do. One does not just get accepted into a fully-funded graduate program every day, you know, and I’d never forgive myself if I gave up on it so quickly. That’s what I was told, at least. Beyond that, I didn’t want to disappoint my friends and family and everyone who helped me get to grad school.
So I stuck with it, finished the essay and came back after the summer, and after forcing myself through the fall semester, I didn’t complete two final essays. My untreated burnout got worse. Imagine that! At the beginning of this semester, I made the decision to drop from the PhD track, cut my losses and get an MA. All I needed to do was finish one course this semester, one measly 25 page essay about the fucking kinetoscope, but I couldn’t do it. All I did this past semester was smoke myself stupid, play video games, and wish that I was dead. I spent months lying to my parents and my therapist, telling them both that while everything wasn’t fine, I was persevering and making progress. I’ve shared a little with my mom, now that I’m home and shit’s gone sideways, but all she did was cry and ask if I need to be taken to the ER. Nobody wants to make mom cry, and the last thing I fucking want is medical debt.
My deadline—the “missing this deadline will result in dismissal from the program” deadline—was today at noon, and I missed it. I have ten pages written, and I could finish it today if my brain wasn’t fucking broken, but instead I’ve written a confession to Reddit. I’ve emailed my DGS and will hear his verdict tomorrow morning, but honestly? I could fight for it, but don’t think I care anymore. I’ve been suffering for two years, and I don’t know if a master’s degree is worth it. This degree won’t make me happy—my depression brain says that nothing will, but I know that isn’t true. I wanted the MA so I could teach at a community college because that feels much closer to praxis than jerking off to Frantz Fanon until I get tenure, but I’m not even sure if I like teaching or if it was just the least of all evils I had to deal with as a grad student. (Lowkey, Fanon is probably the way to go if we’re jerking off to critical theorists, but I digress)
So Reddit, what do I do with my life? I’m a 25 year old burn out who 1) may have just lost their big shot at a slightly less worthless degree than the one they got in undergrad 2) just moved back in with their parents to a dead-end Midwest town 3) has few marketable skills and little job experience because they’ve been in academia hell for two years 4) has not had a relationship in even longer than that and 5) is generally a/pathetic.
Ending it isn’t on the table, so what do I do? Has anyone here gone through something like this? How can I rediscover my lust for life and letters? Where have you found your passion?
EDIT: forgot you needed two returns between paragraphs

TLDR: Im scared to make the jump of ending things. I love him but I don’t think I’m in love with him anymore. Im scared it’s the wrong decision. Im scared to start over. Im worried financially. Im worried about our pets.
If you can do math I’m sure you can see that my boyfriend and I started dating pretty young, if anything I’d say he is my first love. I thought he was my true love. Backstory: We moved in together after about 7mo of dating (with roommates) then a few months later just the two of us. Things were great, we were working on our careers and got two dogs. It felt like we had a little family and happy life. Fast forward three years: we go on a trip with his family. His dad flips his shit on us about finances in an airport but is primarily yelling at me because my partner was being submissive and not questioning or trying to discuss this with his dad. His dad also brought our relationship into his yelling, saying things like I don’t make my BF happy, he doesn’t support our relationship. It was really shocking and “random” for me to see this display. It honestly sent me into a depression to be broken down like that publicly, with no warning, by my boyfriend’s dad and him not even sticking up for me or our relationship. My bf telling me the entire trip home and at home that that’s how his dad is, that he’s sorry, and he doesn’t know why his dad said those things. That he’s happy with me. Three months later I catch him texting other girls talking about meeting up. I already had a girls trip planned coming up and told him I needed time to sort through all of this given that I feel like I was dealt blow after blow. I came back from the trip and we talked about it more, I asked numerous times if there’s something I’m not doing right or if I do truly make him unhappy. He denies, says that he doesn’t know why he reached out to other women and that it was a stupid mistake that will never happen again. Of course for awhile I was on edge and wary but I loved him and wanted to make this work. A few more months later I was trying to find a tattoo artist he follows and showed me on instagram. But instead I found him following a lot of explicit female pages. I told him that this made me uncomfortable especially given our recent issues and set a boundary to not continue following/looking at these women. For the past year I feel as though things have been good and my trust is back for him. Here’s the but: 1) I don’t feel like I enjoy his conversation anymore or it’s gotten less. I feel like I have to initiate every conversation, find things to talk about. 2) I feel like I almost have to mom him or be his parent. Having to help him file his taxes, figure out his car insurance, his doctors appointments, cleaning etc. 3) He’s not romantic. We’ve had numerous conversations about how I want to surprise occasionally, I want him to do something romantic for me. I’ve quite literally almost begged him to. He always says he’ll try harder and he’s sorry. I know everyone has different love languages giving and receiving but I feel as though we’ve both communicated ours and it’s feeling one sided. Some anniversaries or valentines we took it easy and just did a cute dinner together. Some I planned trips for us. One year I did a surprise beach trip. For our 5yr anniversary I did a spa resort since neither of us had gone and well it’s our big 5 year anniversary! I don’t want to degrade him and say he’s never done anything for me but I just don’t feel like we’re on the same level. We just got back from a week long trip to the PNW we’ve been wanting to do for years. He didn’t put any effort into planning so I made the entire itinerary including finding where to eat at during the trip. I feel like this trip really snapped for me. Our 6yr anniversary is next month and I almost want to just not bother and see what he does, if anything. I know I shouldn’t expect things but I thought he was going to propose during our 5yr anniversary because he occasionally would ask what kind of wedding rings I liked. When he didn’t, I thought maybe he was waiting for a romantic trip like the PNW since we always talk about where we would and wouldn’t want to be proposed at. He didn’t. I know it sound silly to expect a ring when I’m sitting here questioning staying with him. Because I’m usually a logically person and clearly a planner and mentally made a pros and cons list.. and the reasons I kept coming back to for not leaving him is 1) we have long history together 2) I love him and I don’t want to hurt him 3) the stress of having to decide moving out and furniture 4) we have two dogs together 5) financially 6) I’m scared to start over.

Conspiracy theories involving “elite” pedophile rings have recently been dominating social media in a disorienting frenzy. They have been around for some time but in this century rose back to popularity during the 2016 Election cycle. This crop, at least, took root with what became known as “Pizzagate.”
Promoters of that conspiracy theory in 2016 used social media platforms to make unfounded but viral allegations that Hillary Clinton and other prominent Democrats were running a pedophile ring out of the basement of a pizzeria even though that restaurant had no basement, or any ties to known politicians other than the typical flesh pressing (Phrasing I know) moments fit for a picture hung on the wall.
Since then, the dark theme of Pizzagate has found new life with permutations forming part of the #Qanon conspiracy theory, incorporated under the umbrella term “pedogate.” The gist of the #pedogate conspiracy theory is that global elites (politicians, celebrities, and wealthy businesspersons) are covertly involved in a far-reaching ring that uses young children for sexual purposes.
“What most of these conspiracy theories involve in one way or another is laying accusations of pedophilia or involvement in pedophile rings at the feet of people that they despise or hate, and during the 16’ election cycle, Democrats were a wide target for an opposing political movement that had hijacked the rival Republican party. Pizzagate originated with the “alt right” and “alt lite,” far right extremists who range from outright white supremacists to those who publicly shun racists but otherwise fall in step with their belief systems.
Pizzagate jumped from the fringes to the mainstream because as it denigrated Hillary Clinton, it sucked in supporters of then-candidate Donald Trump.
After the election all mention of pedogate seemed to be put on a simmer while other National outrages boiled over (#Covid #RussiaGate #BLM) and just like clockwork (heading into our next election cycle has been turned back up.
The pedogate conspiracy and all associated stories employ a centuries-old tactic: playing on deep-seated human anxieties by conjuring images of imperiled children, the purest and defenseless victim of any manner of injustice.
An example in the modern era of weaponized conspiracy was the satanic panic of the 1980s, in which a wave of hysteria over alleged child molestation at daycare centers swept the nation. But while that phenomenon was a moral panic attributable, at least in part, to social anxiety over white middle class women entering the work force en masse for the first time and entrusting their children to others, the current conspiracy theories about pedophile rings equate to similar propaganda. They carry a danger for stirring up violence.
If you want to elicit violent action the way to do it is through hate and fear. Once you target and label a population as pedophiles, you can do anything you like to that population with full excuse being given to the myth you’ve wrapped around it.
That’s not to say fears of child abuse or sex trafficking are unfounded. There are many as pedophilia has ancient roots and in many cases was encourage by many world cultures and religions a lot later into Civilization than we’d like to admit. The International Labor Organization reports that 25 percent of the world’s 40.3 million victims of human trafficking are children.
The most vulnerable, according to the National Human Trafficking Hotline, are migrants, runaways, the homeless, and youngsters who have been victims of violence. Despite their obsession over the topic, conspiracy followers aren’t worked up about those children who are in true harm’s way.
In the world of propaganda, it’s never about real children. Instead, it’s about what children represent. The children imperiled by conspiracy theories, in other words, are only metaphors.
Children carry a vast amount of weight in any society, but especially modern ones when they’re expected to survive past the age of five. It wasn’t as intense before the 18th century when child mortality rates were really high. They represent the future, and all that is beautiful and decent and honest in a society, because they are innocent.
For most people also, the meaning of their existence is rooted in their children. Children are eschatological, they represent death for us, and what is coming behind us after we are gone. They also represent the threat of loss, if they disappear, if they die, that is the death of society. That’s why they became so crucial and central to Cold War propaganda. The real terror of the nuclear holocaust would be the death of the children, because that’s the death of everyone.
A recent example of this is in a recent police investigation into conspiracy claims of PizzaGate style accusation of Portland’s Voodoo Doughnuts. Detectives attempted to contact the person accusing Voodoo Doughnuts on social media of running a pedophile ring. The accuser did not cooperate with investigators and it’s been documented in other coverage online that they had become agitated and accused the Police with complicity when tracked down in person, even though they were attempting to investigate.
The pendulum of conspiracy theories about systematic child abuse has swung back and forth for centuries. Examples such as blood libel, when Jewish communities were attacked over false allegations of murdering and consuming Christian children in the Middle Ages.
In Europe, During the Thirty Years War, entire villages were put to the sword because it was believed they were abusing children of the other religions.
One characteristic that helps Pizzagate-style conspiracy theories gain popularity is that they function like a puzzle game and give its audience a large level of involvement through social media.
A lot of conspiracy theories are oracular, where the information comes from one source an oracle. Then there are others where there are a few people who promote the notions, almost like gurus or a conspiracy priesthood.
With Pizzagate, it’s more of what one would call a participatory conspiracy theory. Participatory conspiracy theories lay out a scenario or situation and then they ask their audience, ‘what more can you find out about this, what more can you add?’ It turns the audience into willing participants, some knowing they are creating a destructive madlib and other (potential real victims) caking on mystical distraction to issues that have been unreported or scars that have not bee properly treated.
The thing about participatory conspiracy theories is it can really create a devoted following because it gives people something to do, it makes them feel they can solve the whole thing or uncover new aspects to it. Once you get that energy going it’s almost self-sustaining. Followers of the Qanon conspiracy theory, call themselves “bakers” because their protagonist “Q” pops up on Internet message boards and leaves “crumbs” (i.e., clues), and they are tasked with picking up the crumbs in order to solve the puzzle. (“Q” is supposed to reference the character’s government security clearance level).
*#Q followers believe an even more incoherent version of Pizzagate. This is largely a right-wing fantasy that originated in a series of incoherent posts on #4chan in 2017 by someone calling themselves #QAnon. Following on the heels of similar idiocy such as Pizzagate, it advances a fantastic web of deceit that wraps up Trumpism, deep state fearmongering, evil, satanic pedophilia rings controlled by the Democratic Party, investigations into Russian meddling in the 2016 US election, the Las Vegas shooting, and New World Order paranoia into a package easily and wholeheartedly promoted by internet cesspools and far-right personalities such as Alex Jones.
The premise is that President Trump is secretly working to take down a global ring of elite, cannibalistic, satanic pedophiles. And the investigation into Russian meddling into the 2016 election, led by former FBI director Robert Mueller, is actually an investigation into the so-called “deep state”, where a cabal of evil, globalists, including Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, are responsible for everything from a global pedophile ring to the mass shooting in Las Vegas in 2017.
According to the enlightened, when Trump awkwardly took a drink from a bottle of Fiji water at a press conference in November 2017, it wasn’t because he was thirsty; it was actually a secret signal to those in the know that the annihilation of deep state pedophiles had begun (or was about to begin). Because as everyone knows, Fiji is a hot spot for child trafficking.* ( I could go on and on with this poorly thought-out shit, I will spare you )
The role the Internet and social media play in helping to spread such insanity can’t be underestimated. Just a few decades earlier, conspiracy theorists would identify each other using letters to the editor printed in newspapers and magazines. It was a lot harder to identify your fellow conspiracy theorists. You would have to physically meet to swap your stories or send letters or call. They would set up these groups that would communicate by newsletter. They would meet in a physical space, like someone’s living room.
I personally witnessed people from my childhood, dutifully photocopying newsletters they had received in the mail to give to others (Primarily at my #JW congregation, how ironic). Now obviously it can go much more quickly, because you can identity people immediately. You can quickly share ideas and the data you’ve collected.
The Internet allows such people to exist in bubbles where they rarely have their beliefs challenged. The extraordinarily polarized society we’re in right now has made people less willing to seek out other view points. Because of the internet you have less chance of doing this.
There’s very little incentive to look outside one’s own bubble once they have become invested in a conspiracy theory. Once you start to act out on those behaviors you are forced to double down by repeating the act to prove it was a just act. Eventually you get caught up in a movement that totally defines your conscious and you can’t get out of it. The second you step out of that world view your actions go back to being reprehensible.
Now the question becomes, “What’s the harm? If it sheds light on child abuse, then isn’t it still productive?” The answer in this case is a resounding NO. In my opinion and PAINFUL experience, the root cause and sustaining factors of institutionalized child sex abuse are all things that would counter your typical Conspiracy Nut’s world view, thus causing a complete blackout to the problems.
The entity taking part in the harming of children on a local and tangible level aren’t some suit and tie wearing global elitist. It’s a guidance counselor, youth pastor, unvetted young substitute teacher, aunt/uncle/cousin/neighbor.
It’s anyone who has been given routine private access to a child’s mind and body because of the social conventions that have been protected for generations by our relatives whether they themselves are guilty of abuse or not.
In all the Qanon madness I also kept very close tabs on the pending prosecution of the Boy scouts of America and never saw any widely shared memes about their involvement in the abuse syndicate.
Why is this? How is this so? Aren’t these people watching the news, seeing the court records and hearing the individual cases being brought against Scout Leaders (SOME OF WHO RAN THEIR OWN NETWORKS!!)?
When I would find mention of accusation it was met with the ever scarce “skepticism” because if the media is covering it, it must be a plot to destroy the organization. There are now non-for profit organizations setting up victim funds and protections for people to come out with their stories and somehow THIS is the fake ruse.
Some that know me know that I was a Jehovah’s Witness as a youth/teen/young adult. That chapter of my life could fill many chapters and the research on the organization, the real true black and white history of the religion would honestly surprise you. I saw what I now know was abuse, I personally experienced abuse in many forms. The perpetrators involved are either still Witnesses or are dead or have moved “away from the organization”.
One thing that was left intact in each situation was the secret that they prey on children. The parents, these organizations and the collective promise to keep up appearances are directly to blame for the suffering untold thousands, millions of children and broken adults.
All for what? Pride and Vanity and a commitment to all involved to protect them from the “mean old world” despite allowing predators to eat their children from within.
Being a #JW was a very interesting experience. It provides a very efficient form of insulation from outside society and allows people involved to view the chaos from afar. There is this persistent (albeit false) sense of shared peace that members have. It’s as though for three days a week you go to this meeting where no matter what, everyone has a smile and feels about things EXACTLY how you do. There is no cursing, there are no politics, there surely isn’t any destructive influences that would tarnish your chances of salvation. For a parent this is a refuge when raising a child in a world that is dangerously unpredictable.
A Child that you are unable (or unwilling) to teach coping skills to get along by societal standards, A child you want to protect by hiding. This is problem #1.
As an adult the congregation presents an avenue for which you can act and behave in a way that allows you to reconcile your past, a way to have less of those nights awake because you think about past wrongs you’ve committed against people. It’s the proverbial band-aid for a guilty, bruised, destroyed conscious of any size. Coming into the organization takes nothing more than the desire to change, publicly declaring your willingness to hand over your life to God (The organization). Bam, You’re in! No credit check, no background check. This is problem #2.
A JW is taught that “every facet is an asset” (Ministerial Servants know what I’m talking about). What this means is that every facet of your life is an asset to the organization to spread its word. If the world see’s their product’s application into your life and thereby how much better it is than a normal person’s, then they’ve made an “Effective Witness” to the world. This causes Witnesses of any age to allow almost every facet of their life to be a tool by the organization. For a parent this includes their children. This is problem #3.
When you get a culture that insulates itself from the real world, that allows you to enter without any coherent vetting, give access to children whose parents feel obligated to present as a “witness” to the lifestyle. You get a twisted corridor in which victims can get lost for a lifetime and predators can hide in plain sight.
For any proponents of the “Save-The-Children” movement to not take a step back and really analyze their local community and lifestyle through these lenses only illustrates that child abuse is being weaponized politically at the expense of others whom you aren’t willing to save because it would look bad for ‘your side’. If you truly care, you wouldn’t be sharing email forwards about what evil unverified unmentionable thing you read some celebrity or politician did. Instead, you’d be drawing back on your experiences as a child.
Even if nothing happened directly to you, I’m sure you know some one that had an experience that forever harmed their life. Who did it? Was there a pattern or social condition that allowed for this as was laid out in the JW example?
How could it have been avoided? Would you have stopped it if you saw the signs? Are you willing to stop it in the future, knowing what you know now?
If you can answer any of those questions with a yes, then you have all you need to WRITE your own material to reach real victims and their families. Does your action cause problems for your ‘side’? It shouldn’t matter and you know that. If it does make a difference to you then you are no better than the shadowy pedophilic cabal that you are so obsessed with.

Thanks in advance to anyone who takes the time to read this.
My life is in a terrible mess & just continues to spiral downwards at a rate of knots. Where I’m at has been heavily influenced by mental illness (bipolar disorder) but equally I take full responsibility for my actions.
I have 2 kids. All I care about is them. But this life I’m living isn’t sustainable.
I’m 42. I’ve been with my wife for 22 years & we’ve been married for 17. Things were good until 7 years ago. At that time my eldest child was 3 & my youngest was a baby. I had a good enough career for my wife to not work for the foreseeable. I had a history of anxiety & depressions & 7 years ago I was put on an antidepressant. I hadn’t had my bipolar diagnosis (won’t get in to all that here) & taking an antidepressant without a mood stabiliser if you’re bipolar generally ends badly. I’d not long started work at a new company & I began to feel very unwell. Even after stopping the antidepressant (when I was diagnosed soon after), I was very unwell for several months. I couldn’t do my job. My wife was at home with a baby & I didn’t want to worry her. I pretended to go to work & sat in my car all day. I thought it’d pass & I’d be better, therefore never having needed to worry her, but things got worse. Sitting alone all day every day contributed. I ended up in hospital a few months later, having suffered a huge breakdown. Even though I had good intentions to protect her, my wife felt hugely betrayed, which I can understand. She has never forgiven me.
I was off work for another 6 months after I got out of hospital. We had very little money coming in & had to borrow money from my wife’s parents. They were very cruel about my mental illness & told me I should be ashamed of myself. I found my way back due to the love for my kids. I got back to work in a more junior role, but have never regained the person I used to be. I’ve been so heavily medicated since my diagnosis & my world’s been turned so upside down that he’s lost.
I had a few years of relative stability & we were able to rebuild some of the damage. But my wife never forgave me. We haven’t had an intimate relationship since before it happened. Then lockdown came & I started to wobble. I got an appointment with a private psychiatrist through my health insurance & he put me on the highest dose possible of a medication called pregabalin (for anxiety).
Fast forward a few months (about 3 years ago) & I had a terrible manic episode. I don’t remember much of it but I had a good salary & credit rating, so was able to take out a lot of loans. Long story I buried myself in tens of thousands of £s in debt. When I came to & that episode ended, I was distraught & had to go to great lengths to hide it from my wife. As I’ll come on to, in all honesty I’m afraid of her. Also, when is a good time to tell someone that? After a year of hiding letters etc. I sunk in to a bad depression in September / October. I’ve been in it since & it continues to worsen.
I’ve been off sick all year. I was hospitalised in January as I was in crisis. It’s been a terrible ordeal for my wife. Illness or not, I’ll never forgive myself for what I’ve put her through.
I’m at home all day because the depression has just made everything impossible. I understand my wife’s frustration but all she does is shout at me. I must sound pathetic, but it’s been this way for years. I’m afraid of her. When I tell her she’s being aggressive she denies it. She gaslights me a lot. She calls me lazy & a failure. She tells me to “f off back to work”. There are some days when it’s not too bad but most days it’s constant & extremely aggressive.
My youngest has now been at school full time for 2 years. My wife won’t get a job. She gets angry with me about problems with the house but won’t work. The last time it was mentioned she made my life hell for weeks. I experienced a lot of abuse as a child & can’t stand or cope with bad atmospheres in the house. She kept saying I’d “told her to get a job”.
She knows what I’ve been going through but hasn’t even brought it up. My salary is going to drop soon as I’ll move on to the income protection plan. She’ll then be forced to work so God help me. I’m terrified.
My mental health is a mess. I forgot to mention that the pregabalin prescribed during lockdown has become something I’ve abused the last year or so. I take more when I get my prescription & leave myself with less for the rest of the month. It’s the only temporary relief from this terrible depression & how I’m treated at home.
I have no parents or siblings. Nowhere to go. It would break my heart to leave my kids but I’ve come to realise if I don’t get away from my wife then this is only going to end in one outcome. I’m not far from it at all. I’m terrified of what she’ll do. I would be able to pay the core bills on this house (around £2200) & get a cheap airbnb (I’d need to live on canned food) until this house is sold. But she’d need to work to pay for groceries & ‘non-bill’ things. She can have all the equity from the house when it’s sold. All I want is for the kids to be ok.
One way or the other it’s terrifying: I live with the aftermath of telling her about the salary drop (if my mental health gets any worse it will be dangerous) or I find the courage to leave. If I leave I dread to think what crazy stuff she’ll do.
I’m exhausted, humiliated, ill & I’ve had as much as I can take. I’m only still here for the kids’ sake. But the bad thoughts are creeping in more & more
My wife hates me. I haven’t had a hug in years. She shows no compassion whatsoever. She makes it so blatantly obvious that she can’t stand me but that she’s just here because she has nowhere else to go.. It’s horrific. I haven’t explained it all well enough here. It feels like hell on earth & I’m on countdown now until this explodes one way or another. I’m already at the end of my tether. I just have to make sure that I am still here for my kids. Maybe not in the same house. But I can’t sink any lower & not be here at all

I have to submit the deans waiver for the 3rd time for eng. Recently got diagnosed with ADHD (like in the last week I received my diagnosis), got kicked out of my house, parents went crazy and tried to submit false claims to the police (not gonna go into too much detail but believe me it was so bad, police also told me my parents are insane and they wont file any of the complaints my parents made against me cause they were baseless), moved in with a friend and parents showed up to my friends house and went insane. I cant take time off school cause I need to get this degree to get out and I am passionate abt it. I got lucky and I am working with a faculty member as a volunteer rn on some research stuff so I can include that to show my passion for the program. I have screenshots, documentation and a letter from my friends parents explaining the whole situation. Just wondering if my chances are low, I failed 2 courses first sem and 2 second sem (one of them I can take in the summer term), and I am doing other summer courses to catch up so I can tell them that. But has anyone ever been in this situtation?

Thanks in advance to anyone who takes the time to read this.
My life is in a terrible mess & just continues to spiral downwards at a rate of knots. Where I’m at has been heavily influenced by mental illness (bipolar disorder) but equally I take full responsibility for my actions.
I have 2 kids. All I care about is them. But this life I’m living isn’t sustainable.
I’m 42. I’ve been with my wife for 22 years & we’ve been married for 17. Things were good until 7 years ago. At that time my eldest child was 3 & my youngest was a baby. I had a good enough career for my wife to not work for the foreseeable. I had a history of anxiety & depressions & 7 years ago I was put on an antidepressant. I hadn’t had my bipolar diagnosis (won’t get in to all that here) & taking an antidepressant without a mood stabiliser if you’re bipolar generally ends badly. I’d not long started work at a new company & I began to feel very unwell. Even after stopping the antidepressant (when I was diagnosed soon after), I was very unwell for several months. I couldn’t do my job. My wife was at home with a baby & I didn’t want to worry her. I pretended to go to work & sat in my car all day. I thought it’d pass & I’d be better, therefore never having needed to worry her, but things got worse. Sitting alone all day every day contributed. I ended up in hospital a few months later, having suffered a huge breakdown. Even though I had good intentions to protect her, my wife felt hugely betrayed, which I can understand. She has never forgiven me.
I was off work for another 6 months after I got out of hospital. We had very little money coming in & had to borrow money from my wife’s parents. They were very cruel about my mental illness & told me I should be ashamed of myself. I found my way back due to the love for my kids. I got back to work in a more junior role, but have never regained the person I used to be. I’ve been so heavily medicated since my diagnosis & my world’s been turned so upside down that he’s lost.
I had a few years of relative stability & we were able to rebuild some of the damage. But my wife never forgave me. We haven’t had an intimate relationship since before it happened. Then lockdown came & I started to wobble. I got an appointment with a private psychiatrist through my health insurance & he put me on the highest dose possible of a medication called pregabalin (for anxiety).
Fast forward a few months (about 3 years ago) & I had a terrible manic episode. I don’t remember much of it but I had a good salary & credit rating, so was able to take out a lot of loans. Long story I buried myself in tens of thousands of £s in debt. When I came to & that episode ended, I was distraught & had to go to great lengths to hide it from my wife. As I’ll come on to, in all honesty I’m afraid of her. Also, when is a good time to tell someone that? After a year of hiding letters etc. I sunk in to a bad depression in September / October. I’ve been in it since & it continues to worsen.
I’ve been off sick all year. I was hospitalised in January as I was in crisis. It’s been a terrible ordeal for my wife. Illness or not, I’ll never forgive myself for what I’ve put her through.
I’m at home all day because the depression has just made everything impossible. I understand my wife’s frustration but all she does is shout at me. I must sound pathetic, but it’s been this way for years. I’m afraid of her. When I tell her she’s being aggressive she denies it. She gaslights me a lot. She calls me lazy & a failure. She tells me to “f off back to work”. There are some days when it’s not too bad but most days it’s constant & extremely aggressive.
My youngest has now been at school full time for 2 years. My wife won’t get a job. She gets angry with me about problems with the house but won’t work. The last time it was mentioned she made my life hell for weeks. I experienced a lot of abuse as a child & can’t stand or cope with bad atmospheres in the house. She kept saying I’d “told her to get a job”.
She knows what I’ve been going through but hasn’t even brought it up. My salary is going to drop soon as I’ll move on to the income protection plan. She’ll then be forced to work so God help me. I’m terrified.
My mental health is a mess. I forgot to mention that the pregabalin prescribed during lockdown has become something I’ve abused the last year or so. I take more when I get my prescription & leave myself with less for the rest of the month. It’s the only temporary relief from this terrible depression & how I’m treated at home.
I have no parents or siblings. Nowhere to go. It would break my heart to leave my kids but I’ve come to realise if I don’t get away from my wife then this is only going to end in one outcome. I’m not far from it at all. I’m terrified of what she’ll do. I would be able to pay the core bills on this house (around £2200) & get a cheap airbnb (I’d need to live on canned food) until this house is sold. But she’d need to work to pay for groceries & ‘non-bill’ things. She can have all the equity from the house when it’s sold. All I want is for the kids to be ok.
One way or the other it’s terrifying: I live with the aftermath of telling her about the salary drop (if my mental health gets any worse it will be dangerous) or I find the courage to leave. If I leave I dread to think what crazy stuff she’ll do.
I’m exhausted, humiliated, ill & I’ve had as much as I can take. I’m only still here for the kids’ sake. But the bad thoughts are creeping in more & more
My wife hates me. I haven’t had a hug in years. She shows no compassion whatsoever. She makes it so blatantly obvious that she can’t stand me but that she’s just here because she has nowhere else to go.. It’s horrific. I haven’t explained it all well enough here. It feels like hell on earth & I’m on countdown now until this explodes one way or another. I’m already at the end of my tether. I just have to make sure that I am still here for my kids. Maybe not in the same house. But I can’t sink any lower & not be here at all

"Good evening, tributes, and welcome back to the stories of Panem. Before we begin, I would like to thank Christian Blanco, the original writer of "Tales of the Hunger Games," and Lauren from "Panem Reborn." Now, since I don't have too much else to say, let's go!
Game 114 (150):
District 1: Jacqueline and Facet
District 2: Malona and Crane
District 3: Darlene and Colt
District 4: Brook and Harbor
District 5: Unknown girl and Darian
District 6: Fifi and Atlas
District 7: Bloom and Amarylio
District 8: Scarlet and Carter
District 9: Zest and Mazin
District 10: Zulu and Mateo
District 11: Unknown girl and Lee
District 12: Dorothy and Hargree
District 14: Both unknown
A plethora of excitement crossed the capital over the past year, especially their beloved commentator Camilia Ravenstil's pregnancy, which resulted in her giving birth to twins named Amelia and Cyrus, to honor the past two Game Makers. Even Winnow's victory was still in high popularity.
As the reapings rolled around on July 4th, many of the capital citizens flew to their TVs and viewing parties. Winnow made her journey from district to district with her mother and entourage from the capital. When she landed in District 4 on the late morning of the third day of the reapings, she was greeted by Mayor Chigwell. After a rather long tour of the district's harbors and jewelry stores, they stopped at a nearby seaside diner for a brief lunch. Viewers in Snow Square laughed at Winnow's face of pure boredom as Mayor Chigwell ranted about the latest trends in the district's fashion. Winnow's face soon turned to relief as the mayor brought her back to the district's reaping square.
After a little bit of time, the light blue-catered youths were walked into the square by rather impatient Peacekeepers. Mayor Chigwell finished up his speech before welcoming Winnow to the stage. She gave out a rather tired smile at the district's population before talking about the joys of being a victor. She then asked if any of the girls wanted to volunteer. After hearing no response, she then took out the name of 17-year-old Brook Branachok.
Brook was found in the back of the 17-year-old section. Her platinum blonde hair made her quite noticeable to viewers in Snow Square. She sighed dramatically before flipping her blonde hair back in a dramatic manner as her piercing blue eyes even made some of her nearby peers shudder in fear as Brook arrived at the stage and shook Winnow's hand. "She was later described as a 'rich high school bully' by commentators. The girls in a mood," Winnow laughed before shaking Brook’s hand before walking to the male reaping bowl. After a brief silence, she thrusted her hand elbow-deep before taking out the name of 17-year-old Harbor Zanders. A brief pause soon followed by a discussion as a boy with dark brown curly hair with a smattering of light brown freckles on his face gave a guilt-ridden smile before walking up to the stage. However, as a group of teens his age giggled, Harbor turned back and glared at the giggling boys as they suddenly grew quiet. Harbor soon took out a flask of wine. Capital citizens laughed as Harbor found one of his friends and tossed it to him before walking back up to the stage. Back in the capital, both Camilia and Silca and even most of the audience had been surprised at the pair's striking attitudes.
Harbor then shook Brook and Winnow’s hand before they were announced as this year's tributes for District 4 before moderate applause followed. Winnow soon brought the two tributes to the drawing room before she made her journey to District 3 with her entourage.
Brook was visited by her mother, father, and four younger sisters clinging dearly onto their sister. After successfully removing her sobbing siblings, Brook’s mother calmed her daughter down as her father, Coral, gave the best advice he could offer. Peacekeepers soon came in to bring Brook to the waiting dock. She waved and said she’d "At least try to win."
As for Harbor, he was visited by his mother, father, and his younger and older brothers. As his siblings were saddened as well as his parents, Harbor embraced them all in a tight hug. Before he was needed at the dock, his girlfriend Melanie even joined in this hug causing Harbor to show some emotion.
After a few more minutes, peacekeepers soon brought Harbor out of the room to join Brook at the dock as the pair boarded the jet boat to the capital.
"Man, you've been through the ringer, haven't you?"
"Same goes to you, girl. Haven't seen you in a year."
The pair soon chatted with each other about their experiences at the academy and gossiping about old friends. Brook, in particular, laughed hysterically when Harbor mentioned how his ex-girlfriend got karma returned to her when she crashed a birthday party at Harbor’s dad's bar, resulting in the peacekeepers putting her in the district's jail for a month.
However, as the pair tried to dine upon the food provided, the boat hit a bump resulting in Brook, Harbor, four avoxes, the dining table, and nine peacekeepers to go flying up into the sky. Thankfully, no harm came between the fifteen as the peacekeepers then helped the two back up as a new lunch buffet was arrived. And so did their mentor, Sienna Shoreville, victor of the 105th Hunger Games, arrived in.
"I don't want you two to ally with the 2s, maybe the 1s, depends on how they are."
Brook looked curiously at Sienna before saying, "Didn't Anamaria get her neck snapped by the girl a year prior?"
Sienna groaned in annoyance at remembering this cringeworthy death before walking to the bar carriage before inviting the two to join. As Sienna asked the pair about their lives, she laughed while listening to Harbor telling some stories of working at his dad's bar and the customers who would frequent the place. However, when Sienna asked Brook about her life and possible skills, Brook sighed before saying, "I guess looking pretty’s a skill."
Sienna laughed before replying, "For getting sponsors, yes, but not when you're in a fight to the death."
As this reality check wiped the smile from Brook’s face, she and Harbor finished up their meals before listening more to Sienna’s lecture about the games. And as an act to see if her tributes were actually paying attention, she quizzed them on the dos and don'ts in the capital. As Harbor passed this quiz, Sienna laughed before allowing him some "Capital Goodies." However, as Brook blatantly failed the quiz, she laughed and called Harbor a "suck-up" before walking to her room.
Sienna looked at Harbor for a second before saying, "I guess she’s either related to the mayor or is a spoiled rotten brat."
"She usually brags about her rich family members, always thinks she's better than everyone."
"And trust me, the girl ain't pretty."
Sienna and Snow Square laughed as she then patted him on the back before""telling him to get a 'nap' in before they were to arrive in the capital."
He nodded before Brook returned. It is unknown what the two girls talked about for the remainder of the trip, but our historians have noted that Brook’s scowl from before had dissolved for the time being. As evening rolled around, the pair from District 4's boat landed at Mcaine dock as an excited crowd of capital citizens swarmed the pair from 4 and their very popular mentor, who had been giving out her new jewelry to some of her lucky fans.
Brook and Harbor performed rather well, with the capital citizens enjoying their "feisty sailor attitudes." Even some reporters from Golden 24 put up a most popular tribute poll with Harbor and Brook being in the top 3, narrowly beating Fifi from District 6.
Sienna then thanked the capital for their time before taking her tributes to the limousine. Once it arrived at the accommodation tower, they arrived at the 4th floor. After arriving, Sienna called their stylist, Orivile Cartwright.
Orivile embraced Sienna before showing his tributes his pre-made outfits, which were Sailor themed, which made Brook and Harbor smile. Due to them having a fair amount of time left, Sienna displayed the post-reaping commentaries before turning on the commentary for District 1 as Orivile worked away at the pairs' outfits.
Mayor Cassino greeted a very exhausted Winnow Fraiser. Also accompanying the mayor was Realm Jones, victor of the 101st Hunger Games, and Quintin Mahoney, victor of the 108th Hunger Games, joined Winnow on the initial tour. Winnow appeared to be star-struck sitting between both iconic victors. She even turned around to Quintin saying, "I can't believe I get to meet a legend like you."
Quintin laughed before giving Winnow some comic relief during the tour, telling her about his games and even asking a few questions about her own games. At the conclusion of the tour, Realm's eyes lit up in delight as he saw his own capital mentor, Narcissa Valentions, warmly embracing her mentee.
"So what're you doing here?"
"I had some time off. I figured I'd come by and see how you've been doing. Business at my shop has been bustling as ever, so I figured I’d take a break to see my first victor."
As Realm and Narcissa soon walked over to the talent demonstrations together, Quintin laughed as Mayor Cassino welcomed the scarlet youths. Winnow was then brought up to the stage. She asked if any of the youths wanted to volunteer, becoming surprised when 10 ladies and 8 gentlemen volunteered for the role of tribute for District 1. Silca joked with Camilia, saying, "It's normal for them, isn't it?"
With the ladies' many remarkable weapon displays and archery displays, 18-year-old Jacqueline Faywether had been announced as the final volunteer to try her luck. She smiled at many nearby cameras as even one enthralled boy in the audience fainted seeing the rather extractive career girl.
She shot 10 arrows blindfolded and threw 8 knives in the letter J form, causing even more ripples of laughter sounded in the square. The mayor announced the two passing tributes. As for the two tributes, Jacqueline’s only remaining opponent, Jewel, had almost won the title of female tribute but had a stroke leading to Jacqueline to win the title of female tributes.
As for the guys, 18-year-old Facet Elixithorn had made himself a crowd and capital favorite by his spear-throwing display and to ending in a handstand with wild applause following. Three guys made it to the debate round with Realm this time asking the questions. With poise and dignity, Lance’s strong mind and less nerves had won him the title of male tribute for District 1.
After the pair were bathed and stylized, they were then brought out to the square as they then shook Winnow’s hand before she announced Jacqueline and Facet were announced as the tributes for District 1.
And after a brief meeting with their families and friends with not too much emotion, Jacqueline and Facet were then brought to the train as the train began their journey to the capital.
Narcissa, Realm, and Quintin then greeted their tributes with Jacqueline and Facet being surprised seeing their district's first victor’s mentor. Quintin soon brought the four to the table having a brief dinner with Narcissa asking the two if they had any skills besides their ‘weapons of choice.’ Quintin was pleased to hear of Jacqueline's diverse skills of weaponry before bragging to her district partner about her achievements at the Kobayashi self-defense center. However, instead of being jealous, Facet asked his district partner about her accomplishments.
Realm and Quintin were pleased with their tributes getting along with each other before showing the past reapings in the districts. Facet and Jacqueline laughed hysterically at the District 2 reaping games even Narcissa let out a smile. Quintin then asked the pair if there had been “Other commendable allies besides the non-dazzling loonies from 2 besides Jade and Hermina, they are dazzling.” Realm also chimed in adding that they should “Look for others.”
However, as Jacqueline was going to ask why Realm shushed her and said, “The career pack has their on and off years.” Jacqueline nodded before Quintin continued talking to the pair about the past reapings. Facet and Jacqueline even suggested the girl from 3 and the pair from 4 as potential allies. Realm appeared to consider this before Quintin added in that “He would see what he could do.”
As the pair nodded, the pair from 1’s train arrived in the outskirts of the capital. Narcissa soon styled the pair up, quietly complaining to Realm of how Jacqueline's red hair and Facet's long blonde curls were impossible to tame. The train then arrived in the capital with the usual excited capital crowd marveling scarlet couture. Jacqueline and Facet were both outstanding hits with the capital citizens maintaining proper etiquette. However, two capital lights had to be removed from the audience after heckling Facet about his district partner. Narcissa then wished Jacqueline and Facet luck before kissing Realm and Quintin on the cheek. Realm and Quintin then thanked the capital citizens for their time before bringing the pair from 1 to the limousine as it brought them to their accommodation tower.
Once they arrived at their accommodation tower apartment, they were greeted by their stylist, Aurelia Heavensbee. She smiled at the four of them before whisking them to the dining table showing them her designs for the parade. Jacqueline in particular was marveling at her long ruby dress as Facet jokingly told Jacqueline that they looked like a “walking jewel.” However, Aurelia frowned as Realm glared at Facet as the smile was wiped from his face. The pair then groaned in annoyance at their stylist's bland outfits.
Before the pair were then brought to the parade moments later, Facet and Jacqueline were immediately approached by Malona and Crane, both from 2 introducing themselves. However, Facet cut the pair off from further words, saying, “the career pack is gonna be different this year.” As Malona protested, Jacqueline said, ‘thanks but no thanks.” Both Jade Heath and Herminia Gold looked at the District 1 mentors in bewilderment as they also reciprocated. However, the pair from 1 then came over to the pair from 4 chatting with their mentor.
“Darling, you look stunning.”
“Oh, thank you, you dazzling ruby.”
Brook and Jacqueline seemed to obtain an instant connection. As Facet complemented Harbor’s outfit. Harbor smiled good-naturedly back before chatting away with him about lives in their districts. Facet soon asked the pair if they would be interested in an alliance in the arena; however, Sienna leaned in this conversation asking “Where are the 2s?”
Jacqueline then replied that they were “trying something new this year” before pointing at the pair making fun of Mateo from 10’s cow-themed parade outfit. Sienna shrugged as Brook and Harbor warmly accepted the offer as Facet and Jacqueline smiled saying “splendid see you soon.” When the pair from 1 got back, Realm popped up asking “You with the 4s this year.” As the pair nodded, Realm smiled and nodded with Quintin and Aurelia doing their touch-ups to their tributes' outfits. Sienna commended the pair for “making friends already,” she still urged caution before re-adding in “The 2 mentors there are my ride or dies but still keep your eyes on them if needed.”
The pair then nodded as the parade then began. Regal applause and cheers sounded for the pair from 1, but Nico Anderson lead editor of Anderson Fashion applauded for their strong impression but said the dress was “So Basic.” The pair from 4 were given a large amount of applause as Harbor and Brook waved at the audience even performing an old dance known as a “Jig”. The pair were also given a boatload of flowers and chocolate resulting in both Brook and Harbor sneezing uncontrollably at the end of the parade during President Mcaine's speech. Best dressed was ultimately awarded to the pair from 4 with their sailor-themed couture.
When the pair from 1 arrived back in their district apartment, they were glaring daggers from afar at Aurelia,
“How did it go.”
“How did it feel getting harshly criticized on live TV.”
Quintin shot Jacqueline a disapproving look as Realm asked if there other worthy allies. Both mentors were pleased hearing their success with the pair from 4 before Realm reassured them that they still looked “dazzling” before sending his tributes to bed. However, with the pair from 4, Sienna warmly embraced the two of her tributes on a best-dressed win. As Orville also joined in the group hug has the 4 of them partied till around 11:30 pm until Sienna sent her tributes to bed as she and Orville stayed up a while longer.
Bright and early the following morning, the mentors ushered their tributes to the training center with a very frustrated Apollo Price. Unfortunately, during his speech about the rules of the training center, he tasered Mateo from 10 after he tried to make a break for the door after Price’s speech concluded. Mateo’s mentor Bianca Jr Ramon rolled her eyes before dropping her mentee at the knife station.
The newly made career alliance between the District 1 and 4 tributes conquered most of the training stations with Facet and Harbor bonding over dropping and throwing large weights causing Fifi from 6 to wet herself earning a smirk from the boys. When Mateo awoke from his unconscious slumber, he immediately ran to Mateo asking him to spare. Since Mateo was no older than 14 and he was the youngest tribute the careers laughed before Facet told him to “Buzz off”. However, as Mateo continued to pester the career boys, Harbor gave Facet a knowing look before accepting Mateo’s sparing request.
A short crowd of tributes went to the jousting stations as Mateo and Harbor were briefed on the rules before being allowed to go at it. It was no surprise that Harbor won all 4 rounds.
“Easy”.
Harbor smiled warmly before being tackled to the ground by the 14-year-old boy from 10.
“You think you're better than me HA you rotten career boy.”
As Price Facet Brook and even Sienna tried to step in Harbor held his hand up to stay back. Harbor then threw the boy off him before pinching the nerve on Mateo’s neck knocking him clean out. As training master Price and Sienna looked at him in bewilderment before Price smiled saying
“Good job kid”.
Harbor smiled before Facet and he returned to the weight station and survival, knife and axe stations even giving advice to Amarylio from 7 with starting fires.
As for the girls they mainly gossiped to themselves and having “Girl talk” at the aquatic station sword station and archery stations. When any tribute tried to use the archery station both Jacqueline and Brook would melodicaly but fiercely slam there weapons into the targtes.
At the end of the traing head master price brought the tributes to the asscors room. Due to the request of the new head game maker the tributes assesment scores were kept strictly confidential. However tabloid reporters manage to scoop out that Jacqueline Facet Harbor and Malona from to managed to score at the top of the pack with a 11. Brook and Amarylio scored a 9 and at the bottom of the pack was Mateo and Hargree from 12 scoring a 3 each.
Both Sienna Quintin and Realm were beyond impressed with there tributes scores before they’re stylist sketched up potential outfits with there mentors soon quizing the pairs on interview educate.
Camilia Ravenstil welcomed the excited capital audience modeling a rather gothic dress that made her look like a ghost tree by the audience. The audience even laughed good naturedly as Camilia shook for a second as leaves fell of her costume as if wind had hit her. She then exictedly welcomed Jacqueline from 1. She was adorned in a stunning pink and red dress with her hair put up in braids. The two had some gossip before reavling to the audience that she was a decdent of Emarld Rivelta victor of the 34th hunher games. Camilia slapped her knee and laughed saying “Thats who you resmbl I guessed right I knew it!”
As the girls chatted the audience loved her regal responses to Camilas questions as even mentoning the carrer alliance brought the crowd into rapsous cheers,even when she talked about her allies from 4 openly. She then kissed Camilia on the hand before bowing which caused even more cheers before she was dismissed back stage. Facet was welcomed in next marveling a sleeveless pink suit with ruby jeans making many of the capital audience to swoon over his physeigue. Even Camilia was taken aback by his charm and confidence as he spoke about his training experience and the strength of his alliance with Jacqueline. His witty remarks and easygoing demeanor captivated the audience, earning him loud applause and admiration.
Later on into the night brook was welcomed in next with wild cheers and wolf whistles sounding. With her hair being dyed a pure yellow with a light brown dress resembling sand following her. She proceeded to have the same amount of banter with Camilia as Jacqueline did however Camilia cut her off as she was finshing up talking about her dads money saying “Honey this is the hunger games.”
“Yeah and Ill live how I like before the games.”
As a few jeers sounded the rest of her interview was rather dull the only light being Camilia shooing the “Regina George” of the stage. As Camila then called Harbor loud cheers sounded again as Harbor walked on to the stage with his curly black hair and brown eyes making him quite attrauctive to many even his pirate themed coustume became an over night sensation with many fashion designers stating that they wanted this fashionable suit.
As Camilia asked Harbor about the games becoming pleased with his short but sweet responses. Even cracking some good jokes about the other competitors mainly about Bloom from 7 and Mateo from 10 . To conclude Harbor’s inteviwed he tossed his waist coat to teh crowd as an excited gagle of captial ladies clammered for this waist coat. As his interview ended on a high. Finaly after the interview of the boy from 14 the new head game maker Natellia Swan was welcomed to the stage. Head game maker swan was adorned in a regal black gown also sporting garish make up making her resmble more of ghost then human. After introducing herself to the excited capital audience Camila smiled before shaking her hand saying that “Game maker swan has alot to accept from.” She laughed before giving hint out to teh audience by pointing to both of the laides dresses. Curious osund sof inteirgue soon followed as game maker swan smiled and bowed as she then left the stage as Camilia then ended the interviews there. The next morning tributes were given a breif breakefst before being brought to the arena’s holding room.
This years outfits consisted of black coats with black jeans and snakers with there distristicts nymbers stickered on the back of there coats. Realm visited Facet before reminding him to stick with Jacqueline and Harbor and Brook. However before Realm finished Facet replied “That girl Brook might be problem.” Realm nodded and agreed before reminding him to keep an eye on her before shaking his hand as he went into his tube. Jacqueline was visited by Quintin the pair had a similar conversation as Realm did with Facet before Jacqueline embraced Quintin and thanked him joking “District 1 needs more ladys.” Quintin laughed before hugging her back before walking Jacqueline to her tube. As for Brook she was not visited by Sienna nor Orvilve a fact that suprised her the most but shrugged before patiently puting her hair up in a bun and waiting for the tribute call to sound. As for Harbor Sienna visted him. She embacred Harbor before reminding him to “ Keep an eye on all of them.”
Harbor smiled before thanking Sienna for her mentor ship before Sienna walked Harbor to his tube his tube and at mid day the podiums then arose into the arena.
Arena Ghosty lake Game 114

My stepmother hates the fact that I exist.
I want to start by saying that I was born before my father and stepmother got together, however they did start their relationship whilst my father and mother were still together who later broke up after around 12 months of me being born. I have never known my parents together, it’s just how it’s always been.
I used to visit my dad once a week, and my stepmother would never really address me or talk to me, and that’s just how it was until she nearly died in childbirth with my youngest sister when I was age 14 (she had two children with my dad). We became closer and I was extremely grateful because I had always wondered why we never gained a relationship over the years. At age 17, 10 years ago, there was a disagreement between me and my dad, stepmum, aunty and nan which resulted in me basically being shunned from the family, and it was over something extremely small and didn’t need to be blown up in the way that it was. Over the first 2 years of limited contact, I was bullied via social media by stepmum, nan and aunty; this included making jokes about my mental health, contacting my friends to try and turn them against me, contacting my mothers side of the family to tell them how much they hated me and them, the list goes on. It went as far as to keep a family illness from me, which unfortunately resulted in what I thought was a sudden death and I was threatened out of going to the funeral - I was called an extreme expletive for asking, beginning with the letter C and something was said in regards to hurting me in some way or another. This was all done without the knowledge of my father, he remained in no contact through sheer stubbornness. Fast forward perhaps 3 years, my dad is back in contact but is caught texting me by said stepmother - she insists he chooses between me and her and there is an attempt at serious assault (her against my dad) with a glass, you do the math. He moves out for a week or so and goes back to her. We text on and off for years, discussing meeting up one day and eventually, 9.5 years after the initial shunning, we meet up. This is met with more anger, I believe she even demolished her own kitchen in rage over the thought of her husband meeting his first child.
Something that should perhaps be mentioned about now, is that my youngest sister has no recollection of who I am as she was only two years old at the time of the original falling out, she is now 13. My dad has informed my sister of my existence at this point, wanting us to eventually meet. The oldest of my sisters is now 20 and we have plans to meet, she’s an adult and can do as she pleases although I sense an element of fear of her mother and that’s why there has been a delay.
This fiasco has ended in the break up of their marriage, all because I exist. Things she has said that my dad has informed me of: - “you only want to see her because she is a piece of your ex”, - “don’t let her see her sister, she will do something evil like poison her to get back at me”, - (I am at university) “I guess I’ll have to go to university so that I am interesting like her (me)”
I want to end this with saying that I am extremely distressed to hear that my existence is causing such upset and aggravation in a household where my sisters reside. I have missed them for years and have always dreamed of the day where I could see them again. At what point do you stop feeling guilty for just existing, living and breathing?
edit there is a lot that is missed out here, small things that would maybe make things sound even worse but 10 years of shit is a lot to rake up and I’m sure there are also things that I have forgotten, this is just a short heads and tails.

A little background: Because of unexpected events, we're both exposed to the real world at the age of 10. (2014-2016) Familiar but not friends. (2017-2018) Got close. (2019-Mid 2020) Mutual Understanding. (Mid 2020-2022) Just friends. (2023-Now) On and off relationship. My mom personally knows him and his family since we were young. His family was able to witness our relationship grow, never knew about the break up and fully supports our relationship.
May 2020: I(15F) started to treat him(16M) coldly after he laughed off my vent of experiencing an awarding ceremony mishap where my name was mentioned but someone else's face was on the screen (this was my third time experiencing such mishap). So I finally decided to end the (1 year) mutual understanding. We still had little to no conversations. Until I slowly started to realize that breaking up with him was a wrong move.
First Week of December 2022: We had a group project, we (just friends 17F and 18M) originally planned to be grouped together, until his friend asked him to be grouped with him because his friend didn't want to be unfamiliar people. Without hesitation and consent, he tried fixing things by entrusting the rest of the members with his GBF to lead us. We ended up forming our own group, without him and his GBF. I asked him what happened and he never replied, ghosted me for a week.
Last Week of December 2022: I was doubting (because he has GBFs) but still tried to get back with him, he agreed and we've fallen for each other all over again. Fast forward to a few months, I opened up about being jealous of his GBFs. He tried lessening their interactions but felt guilty afterwards.
Additional detail: We go to school and home (15-20 min. ride) together. He revealed to me that after he walks me to my house, he goes home and goes back to school for his track and field trainings (as part of his routine, he also likes taking a 1.5km walk going to and coming back from school). After training, he's all sleepy and whole body hurts. I surprised him with a mini ice pack but he barely used it. I was unaware that my concerns became words and actions that downgraded him and he started to dread track and field trainings. Due to what happened and being busy in college, he barely joined trainings again.
He had a big competition where they had to get up early in the morning so they had a sleepover at his friend's house. My best friend was also there, she chatted me that she couldn't sleep and I told her she can ask him(my now BF) for help but she was still too shy to ask. I let him know about how my best friend felt uncomfortable around the other guys, so he volunteered to watch over her. Then he started to think how awkward things got and felt uncomfortable around my best friend. I used his GBFs against the situation, he admitted that compared to my best friend, he wouldn't feel uncomfortable if it was his GBFs. Now all he remembers is that I ruined his competition day.
May 2023: I wasn't allowed to attend prom because of my strict mom, she told me it was unnecessary. He also planned to not go, but during the very last minute, he was forced by his parents because it's a once in a lifetime opportunity. My last chat to him was to enjoy and his last chat was a thank you for allowing him to go and a sorry for breaking his promise that he wouldn't go without me.
After a few days: I asked "Did you drank during prom?", he got all defensive, started avoiding my questions and took him a day before he admitted that he was invited to drink in a room with 1 guy friend, GBF and 4 other girls, without telling me (because he knew I would get mad at him for drinking with his GBF). His statements were "He knows his tolerance level." "He only went with them as a pay back because we're all going to college already."
June 2023: I wanted to invite him to my birthday celebration with my family but was prohibited. I asked my mom for permission to go out with him, still wasn't allowed and was shut off for asking why. I attempted to ask for another permission to go out with my other friends but ended up guilt tripped by my mom, she said "Are you not scared of the past incident when someone attempted to snatch your food?" I ended up not going.
Additional detail: I'm an only child, used to spend most of the time with mom, was never close to dad, and mostly had been laughed off when I tried to bring up things that bugged me, so I grew up not having much friends (my mom said it's because I was always grumpy), and I avoided over sharing. I slowly started to realize that I wasn't allowed to attend prom because my mom expected I wouldn't like people again, even kept asking me "You don't really want to attend prom right?" (but it felt like a knife was pointed at my neck and would be stabbed for saying I really wanted to go)
July 2023: To go out on his birthday, my aunt advised me to write a detailed letter to my mom. I placed it on right her table, it's impossible she never saw it. So he personally asked permission from my mom. I didn't want her worrying about me so I came up with an idea (he knew it was a bad idea from the start) to tell her we would be riding his family's car. My mom expected I would be picked up from our house. So we ended up saying his family was busy and went to a nearby mall instead. That's when my trauma started and resented my parents.
August 2023: We're enjoying our lunch and I randomly saw a notification popped up, it was his GBF. I asked him what he could do about it but he said "His GBFs came first before me and they were there during his hardest times, especially when we broke up (compared to his family, he's more open to his GBFs because they listen to his problems)"
November 2023: As a fight or flight response during our arguments, I would bring up the prom issue and he would start asking me "Just because of the past, are you really choosing to invalidate all the sacrifices and efforts I've made for us?", he even kept asking me to forgive and forget. Then we came up with the plan to tell my mom about our relationship.
Additional detail: We went out during November and I had a curfew to reach home by 5. He convinced me to stay longer, but I started worrying that I'll be scolded once I reach home. We were buying food, I really didn't know which one to choose and ended up giving the staff a silent treatment which I'm really ashamed of. I was also scolded for violating the curfew time. My mom even told me that I should be thankful for her effort of not letting my dad know that I went out. Now all he remembers from that day is my silent treatment.
December 2023: All was going according to his plan, he bought presents during their family trip. But I screwed up the very last minute, I was concerned that he's exhausted from the trip so I asked him if he's really prepared, because of my doubts he called off the confession.
May 2024: We're arguing over everything in a never ending cycle. He called me sexist for wanting him to be the one to face my mom. I had to convince him to come with me and I'll do the talking (we're planning to confess in the upcoming month). Now, he's still passing the responsibility to me, expects me to do it on my own.
Additional detail: He said I'm too emotional, and my vents had been draining him, so I had to promise that I'll stop sharing the littlest things that's happening in my life. But once I started sharing stories (turning into rants) again, he would break up with me, saying that the only way I can get back with him is to face my mom on my own.
TLDR: I(15F) broke up with him(16M), got back together after 2 years. Due to unresolved traumas, and having a hard time facing my strict mom(57F) to confess our(19F and 20M) relationship, we're now on and off and stuck in a never ending cycle of hurting each other. What strategies can help us gain courage to approach my strict mom to confess our relationship? Would appreciate all the thoughts and advices, thank you in advance!!

Fred has a living trust, and assigned everything to it 20 years ago, including Freda’s considerable jewelry and dividend bearing shares - purchased before and after trust certification, from yearly share dividends.
5 years ago Fred inherits a 50k jewel/stone, which he consigns for sale (to a reputable jeweler (who valued it at date of handover, some 15 months after fred’s parent died).
Fred died. 120 days later, no pour over will has been filed with local probate clerk. The jewel is unsold.
What does the jeweler do?
Does the trustee have an interest?
Ps consignment instructions say remit funds to trust for some sold consigned jewels and remit to third party for some others. The jewel/stone has no instruction letter.

My wife assumed responsibility for 3 separate parent plus loans. We consolidated 2 with Nelnet and 1 into direct consolidation loan with Aidadvantage. Now all 3 are under aidadvantage???!!! How did this happen? Nelnet literally sent a letter saying than loans were consolidated successfully!

Got my MCAT score today dropped 10 points from practice.
Supposed to be applying in 2 weeks.
I’m so sad and lost and need help I don’t know what to do. I’m already a low stat applicant.
I wanted to apply early. But now am thinking about signing up for a retake. I’m lost on how to even go about studying. I felt ok while taking the test so I’m in shock. I don’t know how to prepare more.
should i just apply, hope i get in somewhere, and retake next year if i have a bad cycle? should i retake the mcat and apply late? both options seem horrible to me bc i've already taken time off since undergrad.
The rest of my app:
3.6 u gpa probably will drop to 3.4 w recalculation. STRONG upward trend.
3.9 smp
503 MCAT.
I studied so hard I don’t know what happened. I’m naturally dumb I think bc my baseline was 480 somthing and I got it up to 513. I have no idea what happened. I worked my ass off in my SMP and studying for this exam and I feel like I just threw it all away. I didnt expect a score this low.
For EC being vague so I don’t dox myself

• about 3000 clinical
• about 1600 research- handful of pubs and international conf
• about 2000 volunteer
• shadowed various specialties
• lots of leadership
• clear narrative
• long term commitment to all my activities/interests
• additional interest that i tie to medicine though my application. have done state and national level work with this.
• not an athlete, no crazy awards
• relatively unique hobby, not anything crazy but ppl who have reviewed my app say it stands out.
• this is so subjective but since I’m being so vague- a medical student at a T5 (who has reviewed apps and mentored other t5 students) said my activities are at the top 5% of applicants they have reviewed

I really poured myself into my activities bc I knew my gpa was bad. But now my MCAT is bad too. I don’t know what to do.
I am so upset. i feel like I've let everyone down. my mentors. my letter writers. my parents. It's so demoralizing. i studied for so long. i know nothing about any other career to switch paths but I'm afraid I won't even make it through this one if i magically get in.