I’ve been with him for 2 years, obviously we wouldn’t get married right now because it’s not the right time (I’m still in uni etc), but if he was to ask me in 2 years time when I graduate. I would definitely say Yes.

From childhood to college to working years and unto death, women are increasingly favored over men for at least the past few decades in America. And not enough people realize this will come with significant costs and downsides to America as we age.
1.)
Teachers give higher grades to girls than to boys with the same academic ability. And the bias is evident across different types of schools and for different teacher characteristics, suggesting teachers are hard-wired to give girls higher marks. The size of the gap is considerable and could have significant long-term consequences, both on college admission and employment prospects:
Researchers compared the results of standardized anonymous tests taken by almost 40,000 15 and 16-year-olds in language and math with the grades the same students were awarded in classroom tests. While the results of the anonymous tests followed the expected pattern, with girls outperforming boys in languages and boys doing better in math, in the non-anonymous classroom tests the girls scored higher in both subjects.
And the disparity could mean the difference between boys getting a pass and a fail in some subjects.
The average grade for girls in language was 6.6 out of 10, compared with 6.2 for boys, and in math it was 6.3 for girls and 5.9 for boys, just under the pass mark of 6.
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/01425692.2022.2122942
https://www.forbes.com/sites/nickmorrison/2022/10/17/teachers-are-hard-wired-to-give-girls-better-grades-study-says/?sh=7f95fbef70a6
2.)
For the class of 2022, women comprised 58.6% of all bachelor degrees.
For the class of 2022, women comprised 57% of doctorate and professional degrees. As we know, people who have degrees tend to make more money, widening the growing pay gap between men and women.
https://educationdata.org/number-of-college-graduates
3.)
Working women already earn more than men on average, per hour:
The New York, Washington, D.C., and Los Angeles metropolitan areas are among the cities where young women are earning the most relative to young men. In both the New York and Washington metro areas, young women earn 102% of what young men earn when examining median annual earnings among full-time, year-round workers…
However, even among full-time, year-round workers, men and women devote DIFFERENT amounts of time to work. Men under 30 usually work 44 hours per week, on average, compared with 42 hours among young women.
https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2022/03/28/young-women-are-out-earning-young-men-in-several-u-s-cities/
In healthcare, at least 53.7% of the next generation of doctors are all women. One medical school even BOASTED about the fact that OVER 65% of its student doctors were female.
Please also keep in mind: 22% of women doctors choose to work part time, and 9% of male doctors choose part time. This only exacerbates the doctor shortage in America, as the field continues to grow in favor of a female ratio.
Other healthcare jobs with good pay are dominated by women:
87% of all registered nurses are women.
88.8% of nurse practitioners and 78% of physician assistant students are women (average 130K salary).
https://www.ama-assn.org/education/medical-school-diversity/women-medical-schools-dig-latest-record-breaking-numbers
4.)
Women are living longer and longer than men.
As life expectancy at birth in the US decreased for the second consecutive year, from 78.8 years (2019) to 77.0 years (2020) and 76.1 years (2021), the gap between women and men widened to 5.8 years, its LARGEST since 1996 and an INCREASE from a low of 4.8 years in 2010.
https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamainternalmedicine/fullarticle/2811338#:~:text=As%20life%20expectancy%20at%20birth,of%204.8%20years%20in%202010.
5.)
Healthcare funding is heavily slanted towards women. Example:
The NIH spending for prostate cancer in 2015 was US$288 million, which is LESS THAN HALF that for breast cancer…The difference between public funding and disease burden is even more striking in the case of COPD: NIH invested a mere US$97 million, almost SEVEN TIMES LESS than for breast cancer, although COPD killed 292,000 Americans, SIX TIMES MORE than breast cancer.
https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamainternalmedicine/fullarticle/2811338#:~:text=As%20life%20expectancy%20at%20birth,of%204.8%20years%20in%202010.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5836059/#:~:text=The%20NIH%20spending%20for%20prostate,43%2C000%20people%20died%20from%20it.

Hi all. I recently just graduated with a bachelors degree in criminal justice. I am interested in law but would not necessarily rule out looking at other jobs to use with my degree. I have always wanted to join the military (preferably army or marines), and was just wondering what others with possible experience or guidance believe my best path would be. I have been looking into the 2 year enlistment program that the army is offering. Is this stupid or the wrong way to go about it? Many people are saying that I would be making a mistake since I have a degree and am looking at potentially going to graduate school. I just have always wanted to serve but I feel like I would not be happy with myself if I do not do this at some point. Any advice? Thank you!

What should I do with my eagerness to be wanted? With some background I am Maeya ‘20MTF’ and I never new my bio dad ’40M’ he and my mom ‘40F’ were young and he was a coward and left. My mom met my first stepdad ‘41M’ (aka stepdad 1) when I was 5 yo. He is mostly traditional he understands what being gay is but other than that hates all of it. Where I was the black sheep of the family. And where my brother who is 5 years younger was the masculine son he wanted. At school I was the floater in social groups who could be anywhere. But that didn’t mean I could fit in anywhere. I am too awkward of a conversationalist and social situations aren’t my strong suit. The group I stayed with through high school had 4-5 people all male and we were all “pairs” in the group where I was the third part of a trio that would hangout after school. Because my gendesexuality I really had too decode whether I had a crush on a girl or I just wanted to be them thankfully most of the time it was the ladder but I knew I was mostly into women. But because I did grow up in a semi traditionalistic setting and my messed up social awkwardness I didn’t ask anyone out ever. Because I was male presenting but flamboyant I was either expected to ask them out or I was too feminine too be into women. Which resulted in a couple of times being pranked on by both guys and girls saying that some girl would be into me just to be fake. One was a high school dance and another was just a Sophomore joke. Sophomore year my Nana passed away from a stomach/intestinal cancer. And because of my paternal upbringing she was the consistent secondary guardian that was there from the beginning. Then Junior year my mom and stepdad dad 1 got a divorce and then the pandemic happened. Senior year began and I knew I needed too prepare too say goodbye too my old life and prepare to start a new one and my friends will find there own paths in life too. But I did expect us too have a way of communicating. My mom ended up meeting someone and remarried in January of 2021. October of 2020 one my friends passed away from an OD. The rest of us graduated class of 2021. One friend ended up becoming a hermit I tried reaching out but he didn’t come out of his house. I ended up going to the Navy in September of 2021 but had a leg injury in bootcamp and didn’t make it. While in bootcamp my family moved across the country Northwest to the South. So I ended up going with them once I was out of bootcamp. I ended up feeling alone and restless I just found a job and was in a rut. Then in July of 2022 another one of my friends died in a car crash. This made me determined too try something new like college but that ended up not working out mentally. But things at work were looking brighter. I did come as trans at this time. And seeing a dynamic duo of Hope ‘21F’ and Sophia ‘22F’. For this story you need to know has been in a relationship for 3 years. I knew Sophia since I started working their and seeing her and Hope more at work and hearing about there night outs during the summer of 2023 when both turned 21 was something I wanted to be a part of as a friendship. It was difficult for me too articulate it especially when I am an outsider in so many ways but they said they’ll take me in. This was January of 2024. Due to the weather there wasn’t much communication but I did make plans to go out to a club as a first time being full femme and it was a time to tackle my gender anxieties but not my social anxieties so I wasn’t as social as I would’ve liked. Then after that Hope has had a lot of new adulting things this year from insurance, dental, a new car, and ending a three year relationship because of online betrayal.
When she broke up with her boyfriend I knew she was physically the most beautiful person inside and out I’ve ever seen but because of how well oiled her relationship seemed too be I never truly paid attention to this feeling. She is the center of the group and has constantly people wanting to hangout with her. But she was ranting how she is so bad at responding to people because there seems too be so much responsibility. With that every time I reach out she does respond in reasonable measure. But the only time I’ve been messaged by Hope or Sophia it’s too see if I can come in too cover someone else at work who called out. I know it’s not intentional. I didn’t tell Hope about the lack of communication. But I did explain my feelings and I knew she experimented once or twice and she doesn’t float that way but I have feelings for her and don’t know if they’ll go away but I’ve already accepted the facts and she means more too me than my own feelings and I’m willing too stay friends but just wanted too be honest with her and not do something stupid. She was completely understanding and as expected she viewed me as more of a sister and I completely understood and accepted. But now there is this growing communication issue where so many people want to be a part of Hope and Sophia’s click that I am having no communication in general because of my social anxieties, lack of experience in the South, am for and can hangout around recreational use but don’t partake myself, and my fear of being “the single trans/gay person of the group”. Because of those things I see people who do want to be a part of their click being shown more effort because they fit their vibe/vibe of their hangout and I don’t know what to do. From confessing my feelings to Hope and these communication issues I just realize I’ve had a few number 1 friends but I was nobody’s number 1. But I’m not looking to be number 1 I just want to not be last thought to feel wanted. I just need to know how to communicate this without feeling like I am forcing them too because the last thing I want is too be a friend out of pity.

Hi, I'm new to the process of EB2. I'm planning to petition for EB2. I'm from the ROW (Rest of World, so not India, China, Mexico, not Philipines). I am working with a law firm (Chen) and they said I shouldn't have an issue with EB2-NIW and applying for I-140.
However, as I understand, even though I can get the I-140 approved quickly (say 15-30 days), I cannot apply for I-485 (the actual green card) until my date is "Current". According to this Bulletin, the current May 2024 Bulletin is 15 February 2023.
So If I get my I-140 in (say) June or July 2024, does this mean I have to wait (roughly) 15 months. I also understand that 1 month real time =/= 1 month progress in the Bulletin.
I am graduating from my PhD in 2-3 years, and so I was wondering if in 2-3 years, this should be plenty of time for my time to be "current", or if some event happened from Feb 23 - Now where there was a "big" increase that would make it unlikely in 2-3 years to have the date (now) current?
Sorry for the long question!

I love my brothers and sister to death.
That doesn't mean I don't envy them. They grew up in a normal imperfect family while I lived and grew up with our grandparents.
I'm their half sister but loved me whole-heartedly. Cheered me up when I'm sad, listened even when I talk nonsense, my constant cheerleaders and bestfriends.
Growing up, I was multi-talented and an over-achiever. Lahat ng pwedeng gawin ng isang estudyante, ginawa ko. Sports, quiz bees, beauty pageants, singing and dance competitions, student leader, school paper, lahat yan sinalihan ko and lahat may award ako, hindi lang participation. I'm always on top my class. Always.
Panganay ako. My siblings watched and cheered for me kapag kasama sila manuod ng kung ano mang ganap ko sa school. Because I live with my grandparents in a different town, madalas wala akong kasama. I always thought proximity was the reason.
I am now 26 years old and clinically depressed. I realized I was always alone kasi hindi importante sa lola ko ang proseso. Growing up, paulit ulit na sinasabi sakin ng lola ko na dapat lagi akong magaling. Dapat lagi akong panalo. May ibang pamilya na yung mama ko, my dad is out of the picture, and I am all alone. Lagi nyang sinasabi na naaawa lang daw sya sakin kaya nya ako inaalagaan. Kapalit ng pag aalaga nila sakin ng lolo ko, dapat lagi akong panalo. Dapat laging magaling. Dapat laging pinaka-magaling para daw end of school year, hindi nakakahiya. Nakakahiya naman daw kasi kung hindi ako first honor. Kaya lahat sinalihan ko. Siguro determination ko rin kaya lagi din naman akong nananalo.
I remember bringing home graded test papers na ako naman yung highest, di nga lang perfect scores. My lola would say, "bakit minali mo pa yung isa/dalawa/tatlo?" "Sinong highest?"
I grew up alone and scared of life. I didn't know why I existed. I still dont. I just thought, if I don't win in these competitions, my mom, step dad and siblings won't come to my recognition day/graduation day. I always thought they would love me less.
Today, one of my brothers graduate. I feel sad and envious at how my mom is so excited. She's been telling me these past few days "gagraduate na si my brother sa 29" kahit na alam ko naman na kasi ako yung umaattend ng mga meeting sa school nya.
I am incredibly proud of my brother. Hindi high honors but with honors. I saw how he studied and cooked para sa grades na meron sya. (SHS, TVL-cookery) kaya nagi-guilty ako na sobrang lungkot ko kasi inggit na inggit ako. I graduated high school na parang wala lang despite my awards.
For my siblings, competion is achievement. Awards are bonus. Proud na sa kanila yung parents nila. Para sakin, dapat laging panalo. My mom was advised to attend my HS graduation last minute na kasi my tita and lola doesn't want to attend kasi they were expecting na MAS MARAMI akong awards. Muntik na akong umattend ng graduation ko na mag isa. Naalala ko pa sabi ko noon, "wag na lang kaya, okay lang yun. Pwede naman pick upin na lang yung diploma next time". Im glad my mom showed up.
Ewan ko ba. Kahit alam ko na yung mga nangyari at maling mentality noon, ang hirap pa rin mag adjust. Ang hirap paniwalain yung sarili ko na enough ako tulad ng mga kapatid ko na enough just by existing. Ang hirap paniwalaan. Para pa rin akong nagsisinungaling sa sarili ko.
I now work and still have the constant need to be the best and be recognized. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I (16f) am a Nigerian whose family lives in Europe. I have VERY traditional parents who have raised me the Nigerian way. Ever since I was a kid, my family has constantly complained about my behavior and traits. Since we have a very social culture there were lots of people to meet and places to and Nigeria's a very loud country. I have struggled with what I've been told is overstimulation for as long as I can remember. I got my glasses tinted to block out the light, se earplugs to try to sleep, and I basically have a rigid system and way of living. Moving to Europe was extremely hard for me as I just couldn't get used to it and I just became more stressed out, while my parents yelled at me for acting spoiled and not coming out of my shell. I also have a hard time in social settings and was bullied for it back home.
In my new school, I was given an exemption class with the school's counsellor as I was a new student and the only black person in my year (racism is real guys. I used to think it couldn't be that bad, but it do be that bad at times). Anyways, a few months ago, my counsellor asked me if I was stressed, as I look dull and expressionless most of the time, and I told her that's how I've looked for as long as I can remember, and my mom gets so worked up about the fact that I don't catch on the things or express myself differently. I also have a lot of 'babyish' habits that I've developed over the years that piss off my mom, as she thinks I should look and act responsible as the first, and be reliable, instead of going mute when people try to talk to me and having meltdowns over the smallest things.
I've now had a handful of meetings with my school's psychologist where I've been slowly learning to my manage my anxiety and find ways to make myself comfortable without making everyone else uncomfortable. I was told I'm a special needs kid, so I will be getting a special center to write my school leaving exams in where I can adjust the environment to my sensory needs and take breaks if I feel too overwhelmed. However, my parents needed to be called in for a meeting with the counsellor and psychologist over my physical and emotional support needs especially since I'll be going to college in September.
They agreed to the special center thing, but also think I've been brainwashed into thinking I'm a sick child and I need help. For context, Nigerians are extremely religious people so things like autism are seen as curses or spiritual warfare on the family. So according to them, I'm bringing evil spirits into the family so I have to go pray to God to deliver me from the bondage I'm in. (don't get me wrong, I'm Christian and I believe and live my life the way a good Christian should according to the bible, but I've read through most, if not all of it, and I don't see where thinking and having different behavioral needs from most people means I'm cursed or need deliverance). My counsellor says there isn't much she can do as I graduated last week so they can't start an application process for me, and besides I won't be able to do it on my own without parental consent.
I might finally have an answer to the questions I've had my whole life, but my parents are in apparent denial and don't look like they're gonna get out of it soon. What can I do?

My (44 F) sister (48 f) moved 6 hrs away a few years ago. We (me, my mom, older sister and family) visit them once a year. They come here once a year. She has 3 kids. One graduated HS three years ago. I sent my niece a check to congratulate her (I’m a single mom. Making less than 50k a year) My son graduated today. Sent my sister his announcement three weeks ago. They make mid six figures a year. They haven’t sent my son anything besides A “yay!” On fb messenger. I really want to say some things to her. AITAH?

I could really use advice please:
Context- I had a friend who was like a brother to me. In the spring of 2023 after the death of my mom and relationship issues that I went through in late 2022. I met this friend who was very supportive, and honestly, he became more of a brother to then my actual biological brother. He was, at that time, a great person to talk to and be around. I knew at that time he had anger and bi polar disorder (he told me he was diagnosed with it). Fast forward to him graduating, and then in the summer and fall of 2023, he's now struggling financially and dealing with unemployment and immigration problems. I felt like since he lived close to my apartment and that since he was a great friend, when i needed it, I should help him in any way i could. i went out of my way for him constantly and brought him food, medicine, etc when he was unemployed and the times he ran outta food after finding a job ralated to his degree (the job paid shit but made it possible for him to stay in country). I made an effort to include him in the groups of ppl I hung out, and most of the time, I'd drive him whenever he needed to go for free 95 percent of the time. He at that time period would always try to return the favor as the best he could like the times he tried to introduce me to these group of girls that friends with the girl he was interested in dating and with studying for Spanish exams. Around the Xmas of 2023, he saved up whatever money he had and surprised me with two video games that he found at the used section of gamestop. I struggle with paranoia and anxiety but he was someone I felt like I could trust at that time and him trying to help me out in return and the video games made see him as kinda the brother I wish I always had
Now fast forward to like 4 or 5 weeks ago. Me, him, and our mutual friend are in my car. I am driving. Me and him started bickering, and it turned into him screaming at the top of his lungs at my face to point, my ears were ringing suddenly, causing me to nearly crash into a pole. Looking back I stupidly escalated the situation by punching him in the face once after the second time he screamed in my face and enrotched unto the drivers side. He kept trying to grab at my arm nearing causing a second crash. I'm not the "good guy" in this situation and had a role in escalating it after he'd react. Eventually I pulled over to the side of the road and our mutual friend got out of the car and convinced him to leave. The situation continued later when he called me amd threatened to sue me and he'd get the cops involved and I told him he's more likely to be in more trouble for the near accidents and dangerous conditions he iniated etc. The heated phone call continued until our mutual friend got him off his phone. After the call, I was super depressed and wanted things to go back they used to be before. Two hours later, he calls again apologizes for his actions, and so do I. We end the call by agreeing to speak another time within that coming week when tensions are gone. The next day, he apologized to me over the direct message app and he invites me over to his place. At his place he and the mutual friend are amicable, and it seems as if things might be alright. The next day, he messages me on direct message and says he wants nothing to do with me and he doesn't want to speak to me again. I get extremely pissed and tell him inreturn tell him how he's a liar and to never speak to me or anyone I associate with again. He then blocks me from that direct messenger. I go onto a different social media platform and block him, and remove him from every single group we are in. I was so angry i blocked and removed him from every social media app. I wanted to fight him so badly at that point and I guess me blocking and removing him from things was a self mechanism to avoid driving back to his place and fighting him but so I could feel like I "won".
I'm still angry, sad, and depressed bout happened. Sometimes I get so angry I feel intense hatred towards him other times I get depressed at what happened. I've getting headaches and migranes from getting that angry. I don't have anyone to go for advice on how to let go since my mom who I could go to for advice passed away in late 2022 and My dad helped me purchase that car so I feel like he'd give me grief for what happened and i prefer my friends not know much about happened. So I came here on this reddit. I don't wanna ever see my former friend again after the way we both acted there's no fixing it and we are both lucky we didn't get arrested or die in the incident. I'd like some advice on how to get this depression anger and sadness out of my head please.

I've commented a few times in a few posts about my family's experience going through the F-1 to H-1B to GC route to migrate to the US and I've received a lot of questions over the DM, many of which I thought were pretty basic. I thought it might be helpful to put this primer together so folks know the right questions to ask and approach their planning more strategically.
This post is going to be very candid. I've noticed that the questions I've received come from misconceptions about higher education, F-1 visa, and what comes after graduation. I want to give folks the right information, but also temper expectations and give a realistic portrait of what it means and takes to use the student pathway to legally and permanently reside in the US. It is not a stroll in the park, and I don't want to give anyone the wrong idea.

BACKGROUND

Two of my siblings plus myself are all here in the US via the student visa route. I received my green card in 2021 after being in the US for nearly 4 years. After receiving my Masters at a prestigious university, I was hired immediately by an organization willing to sponsor my H-1B, which they did so after two years of employment under STEM-OPT work authorization. My employer started putting together my I-140 (Immigrant Petition for Alien Worker, which is the start of the process for an employment-based green card) shortly after receiving approval of my H-1B. As the paperwork was being put together, my partner and I decided to get married and I switched from employment-based green card to marriage-based green card. The employment-based green card would have added around a 3 year wait if we went through with it, while my marriage-based green card was approved in less than a year.
Both my siblings are currently in the same pathway. One received their Bachelors last year, was hired before graduation and has recently received approval for her H-1B. Their employer has committed to sponsoring their employment-based green card next year. My other sibling received their MFA last year and is now in the process of getting their O-1, which is a different kind of work visa. Like me, they both came to the US with a student visa. We were all very strategic about the programs we chose and how we approached networking within our industries.
We also prepared for years. I knew I wanted to get my Masters and permanently reside in the US even before I finished college in Manila. My siblings also knew that early on. So as a family we planned for years, including preparing financially because we knew that we had a very slim chance of getting free rides for our planned degrees. Our early planning also helped with our professional decision-making, because we became very strategic about what kinds of jobs we took after graduation in Manila (except our youngest sibling, who did her Bachelors in the US, so her planning revolved around her academic career in high school). I would say from start (initial planning) to finish (with the last sibling also now on the way to permanent residency), it took about a decade.

GETTING STARTED

Is the student pathway the right pathway for you?
The first question you should ask yourself: can you afford the student pathway to permanent residency in the US? Higher education in the US is not cheap. Universities very rarely offer full scholarships to Masters programs, and those that do are incredibly competitive. So you cannot depend on scholarships to help you pay for your degree--doing so will likely end in disappointment.
(PhDs are usually free and includes a living stipend, but the application process for PhDs are on a whole other level. I will not cover it here but I can answer any questions related to applying for PhDs.)
Most Masters programs in the US are two-year programs, and the average cost of a Masters degree is around $60,000 per year (source). That's $120,000--almost Php7,000,000--in two years. That is a lot of money. That does not include your cost of living, which depending on the location can vary. I personally spent around $1000 on living expenses every month (housing was through the school, so the cost of that was included in my tuition statement)--and that is living frugally in a very high cost of living city. That's an additional $12,000 per year. Of course, you can lower than number by living with family if that option is available to you.
So on average, you would need around Php4,200,000 per year for your Masters degree. Again, a lot of money. It goes without saying that the student pathway is a very expensive pathway to permanent residency in the US. Can it also be a quicker pathway than, say, being sponsored by a sibling? It can be, but that depends on how long it will take for you to save up for tuition.
What if you can make those numbers work? What else should you know?
I need to put this upfront: the F-1 student visa is a non-immigrant visa. Meaning that it is a visa meant for people who will enter the US on a temporary basis. This is why the student visa has no direct pathway or benefit to permanent residency in the US. You need to change status inside the US to one with immigrant intent or double intent to be able to be on that pathway or receive that benefit. That's where visas like the H-1B visa comes in.
You also cannot work outside of your school on an F-1 visa. During the school year, you are allowed to work part-time on campus, and during the summer you are allowed to work full-time on campus. Work outside of the school is only allowed if it's part of your curriculum (i.e. your program has a class for "onsite internship") and you are allowed to be paid while that opportunity is going on. You can do this part-time, but most legitimate universities will have limited opportunities for this (i.e. under your program you're only allowed to take credit for onsite internships one or two semesters). However, your eligibility to work full-time after getting your degree will be affected if you do this full-time for one year. If you want to jump from F-1 to H-1B, this is not something you want to do.
Your ability to bring dependents to the US on a student visa is also limited. You can only bring your spouse and unmarried children under 21. Dependents of F-1 visa holders are not allowed to work in the US (although children under 21 can go to school full-time). This means your spouse cannot work while in the United States, and that includes working remotely for a company in the Philippines.

APPLYING TO PROGRAMS

The student visa still seems like my best option. What's next?
The next step starts with you. I've received a good number of DMs asking me "Is Master of ABC the right course for me?" or "Will a Master of DEF get me a green card?" These are not the right questions to ask because they're not going to get you any good answers. Yes, we know the ultimate goal for taking your Masters in the US to get permanent residency. But the true purpose of getting a Masters in the US is to make you highly marketable and competitive to US employers that will be willing to sponsor your work visa and petition you for your permanent residency.
So you need to view this degree as a way to level yourself up professionally. I absolutely do not suggest getting a Masters degree in something "you already know"--the objective is not to coast while spending Php4,200,000 a year--but to be so much better at what you're already doing. Here's an example.

Maria Clara graduated from Accounting at a good university in Manila and now has around 2 years of experience as a CPA at the finance and accounting department at a multinational corporation based in Makati. She wants to get her permanent residency to the US via the student pathway and has done a significant amount of research on possible Masters programs and career paths in accounting in the US. She started reading into forensic accounting and realized how interested she is in various aspects of this career path. After looking through universities and programs, she has put SUNY Albany's MS in Forensic Science at the top of her list for a variety of reasons. One, it meets the education requirements for certified public accountant licensure in the state of New York. Two, even without a scholarship of financial aid, the costs for international students is not exorbitant at $23,000/Php1,320,000 for the year-long program--with some frugal living and help from relatives in the US, she can save that amount in 3-4 years. Three, New York is the center of global commerce--all the biggest companies and their accounting firms are either headquartered or have large offices in New York City, so she has a wide swath of employment options. Now she just has to get her ducks in a row and make sure her Bachelors meets the requirements for application, as well as put together a shortlist of other programs she should apply and create a timeline for herself and the milestones that need to be hit to make this dream a reality.

Bottomline is, your starting point in this entire process is reflection and research. You need to reflect on your own professional experience and skills, as well as your interests. You need to figure out which pathway will give you that professional and technical boost and do your research on available programs at reputable universities, what the job market looks like for your target profession, which companies are known to hire in this space.
Of course, you should also take into consideration your limitations. For example, you can only go to school in San Diego because you can stay with relatives while you're studying. That means your research is location-limited to however far you think you can commute.
When this is properly done, it should lead you to a place where you have a shortlist of programs to apply to. Each program will have their own application and testing requirements, as well as their own deadlines, so make sure to keep track of that.
PRO TIP: while grades during college are an important part of your application, many graduate programs put a lot of weight on your personal statement and professional recommendation letters. This is why the first step on reflection is critical--it gives you a good direction from which to build your story, which you will need to convince admissions committees to accept you into their programs.

ACCEPTANCE

I got into one of my top programs and I have my finances in order! What happens now?
Now it's time to apply for your F-1 visa. Your university will provide you with the documentation you need from them (this is mainly the I-20 and your acceptance letter), but the bulk of the documentation you need to present to the visa officer will mostly come from you. Namely, because the F-1 is a non-immigrant visa, you need to show strong ties to the Philippines. This can take a variety of forms, and oftentimes your mileage may vary especially depending on the school you will be attending (i.e. there will be less scrutiny if you're going to Harvard as compared to a university that's not that known).
If you did not receive a scholarship with your acceptance, you also need to show that you are able to afford the first year of matriculation. So bank statements containing the total amount of tuition, as well as room and board, will be important (usually the I-20 that the university will issue you will include this amount).
At the interview, be polite and only answer the questions asked. Do not offer up information not asked by the visa officer. I suggest you have a ready answer if the visa officer asks you why this particular school and program, but you should have this answer already if you followed my advice about reflecting and researching before applying to programs :)
Visa is approved and on hand! What do I do while I wait to leave for the US?
Networking starts the moment you receive your passport with your F-1 visa. You absolutely cannot and should not waste a single minute of your active student visa, so this is the time you start telling people that you're going to be studying in the US. You need to work your current network and find peers and mentors who will be willing to connect you with colleagues they know who work in the US or have ties to the US in your professional field. Let's go back to Maria Clara as an example.

Finally, after years of hard work, Maria Clara has her desired acceptance into SUNY's MS in Forensic Accounting program, and her F-1 visa was approved by the embassy without any issues. After celebrating with her family, she lets her boss know about her visa approval, who has been one of her most ardent cheerleaders during this entire process. Her boss has also offered to introduce her to their counterparts in the US once she got her visa approved, which is really important to Maria Clara--she knows she needs to get ahead of networking professionally since her time in the US is limited. She has also reached out to other people she knows in the company that engage frequently with teams in the US. She's messaged her college professors as well, as she knows that a number of alumni from her college have migrated to the US. Her plan is to get connected with as many professionals in her field as possible, connect with them in person once she's in the US, and build a rapport with as many connections as possible so she can be guided accordingly and stand out when the time to apply for jobs comes.

Remember that unlike US citizens (USC) and legal permanent residents (LPR), your time in the US is limited and bound by the rules set by your visa. So you have to be creative and get ahead in some way. You need to be more prepared and more strategic than USCs and LPRs because you simply do not have the time to dilly dally. Yes, enjoy and savor in the moment of seeing the fruits of your labor, but the hard part begins now. You simply do not have time to waste.

DURING THE PROGRAM

I'm in the US now and working harder than ever! Is there anything more I can do to set myself apart from others?
Other than to make sure you have high grades and you're setting aside time to build professional relationships, it's time to think outside the box. Remember that you are limited by the rules of the F-1 visa, so experiences such as an off-campus summer internship is off limits to you. You will need to find ways to strengthen your resumé that doesn't include working off campus, and that could take many forms. One of the most effective recommendations I've received on this is to do an independent research during the summer--you could do it via a professor whose class you really liked, or if you've made inroads with some of the connections you've been building since getting your visa, have a professor oversee a research project you could do with those connections. (This is still academic work, and many programs will give credit for this, so it is not considered off-campus work under the eyes of USCIS.) You can use your research to really elevate your skills and experiences when applying for jobs.
It's also time to seriously start looking at potential employers. You can use the connections you've built to get a sense of what the professional landscape is for your field, learn about peoples' experiences at various companies and organizations, and get a feel for hiring processes. Remember, you don't have a lot of time to apply for jobs once you near the end of your program, so you have to be armed with the right information to guide your job hunting strategy. You will need to put yourself out there and be the best version of your professional self if you want employers to disregard that they will need to spend more money to hire you rather than a USC or LPR who doesn't need sponsorship.

LAST SEMESTER AND GRADUATION

I'm in my last semester of my program! Any tips?
The last semester is usually job hunting season, so make sure that resumé is polished and your network is activated. By now, if you've done the leg work, you will have a shortlist of potential employers and you will have made connections in most, if not all, of them. Time to check-in and ensure that they know you're interested in joining their company and you'd like their support and guidance in doing so. This is one of the harder parts of this journey, and you have to be relentless. Use all the resources at your disposal to ensure your resumé is seen by as many eyes as possible, and that includes speaking to your professors, especially your favorite ones, so they can also lend a hand.
More importantly: submit your work permit application (more commonly known as OPT) as early as possible to avoid delays and getting stuck in the USCIS backlog. You need this permit to be able to work after graduation for a limited time (one year for graduates of non-STEM programs, with an additional two years for graduates of STEM programs) without needing to immediately require H-1B sponsorship.
Getting employed by a company willing to sponsor you is not the end of the line. All for-profit companies are subject to the H-1B lottery, which means you will be competing with other internationals for the limited number of H-1B visas allotted every year. So even with an employer willing to sponsor, the H-1B visa is still not guaranteed. You can work around this by joining what is a called a cap-exempt organization instead, and USCIS classifies those as institutions of higher education, nonprofit entities related to or affiliated with an institution of higher education, nonprofit research organizations, and governmental research organizations. That means more research, and more targeted strategic networking, given that your employer pool now is limited.

EPILOGUE

The student visa is not an easy or cheap pathway to permanent residency in the US. It is getting harder and harder to beat out USCs and LPRs for great jobs in companies that have the experience and resources to sponsor H-1Bs and GCs. You need to do your research every step of the way and prepare to do some really grueling work in order to be the better investment for these companies. Plus, there is the luck element of the H-1B lottery. But it's not impossible. It can and does happen--my family is a great example of it (we're 3 for 3 in this pathway now). Your preparation and willingness to go the extra mile is critical, and you have to be ready to grind for a while. Rest often only comes when the green card is approved.
For those still considering the student visa pathway to migrate to the US after reading this very long post--good luck, and may the force be with you.

Long story short, my little brother issac (fake name ofc) and i had a hard life as kids. When i was 15 and he was 14 our mom gave us meth just as a "cool" bonding experience. He got hooked and i didnt, fast forward to us living with the man who raised us, not our bio dads but an amazing father and man. Issac got in with a bad crowed of kids and he spiraled further down the rabbit hole.
One night the 5th of july early morning i come home from a party with my at the time girl friend now wife, He had stole stuff from my room so i went out looking for him. found him and a fight broke out while he was strung out on something, could have been anything idk. But i did get home after, and hours later at around 5 in the morning he showed back up to the house and was to say the least mad. words were exchanged fists thrown and he pulls out our dead uncles knife, i told him he shouldnt have that and to give it to me (stupid i know) in a fit of anger he stabbed me in the chest 2cm from my heart.
according to my wife and doctors i was right on deaths door whiter than a ghost. couldnt move my left arm for days. an investgator came and i told him everything he asked if i wanted to press charges (which i regret to this day 8 yrs later) i said yes in attempt to get him away from the group he was hanging around with and to hopfully get him clean.
He hasnt gotten to live his life for 8 years, he hasnt gotten to see my sons or our autistic brothers highschool graduation. he's missed out on so much and alot of our older family members passing. ive had to put them in the ground with out him even knowing or caring to contact or responde to me. I love my brother and im just not sure if im right for still feeling this way after the choices he's made. am i?

I (f 15) have a sister (23) who will be going on a trip to another country for her job with the USMC (United States Marine Corps) Which she has a chance of not coming back from, like all US led operations. My brother (18) is graduating this year and this was the last chance for him and her to hang out before she left for the mission, by the time she will be home my brother will be in the army and will be stationed in an unknown as of now place. My sister wanted to take my brother on a road trip in which he would have to fly home, note, I'm to young to fly without an adult was the reason my parents gave me. It didn't click until after he was gone that he was 18 now and I could fly with him. I am really scared about my sister not coming home and so I had texted her telling how I felt about the situation. The text read, "The reason I'm so mad about you and brother right now is that if you don't f****** come back I don't get to have you at my graduation or for my graduation at all so this is like an unfair situation and I understand that it's not ideal and that you likely are going to come back but there's always that what if chance and if that what if chance f****** happens I'm never going to forgive myself or you" Which she responded with, "I have to take to take what time and situations I have and use them. I think it’s totally fair to give this to brother for graduation since I can’t be there. Three years from now if I get to be at your graduation, I would say that’s unfair to brother because I don’t get to be at his. I can’t control that brother was born before you and that he graduates first. Everything will be okay either way. " My sister is kick booty but there is still the chance that she won't come home. So we dropped my brother off at my sister's house and they go on their trip, brother keeps s being me texts and photos bragging about how he gets to do this with her before she's gone and she lives me more than I you ect. I soon find out that they went to the Indianapolis 500 without me which is one of my biggest dreams. So when he got home he was giving everyone their gifts and when he gave me mine, it was substantially cheaper than my parents gifts. It was a keychain, with my name, spelled the wrong way. I smiled and pretended to love it as I put it on my purse. He asked for a hug and I told him that I still wasn't happy that he went on the trip in the first place, then to add to the situation, you went and saw the Indie 500 without me. And I don't want a hug right now. He started yelling saying, "You're just ungrateful, you should even be happy I got you something."
I'm genuinely confused, am I the a hole?

My name is Jessica, and I live in a small central American city of about 80,000 people.Today I'm going to share a story about Korea.First, I'd like to tell you a little bit about my family.When I was born, I already had an older brother.I don't mean just a little sister with an older brother.My brother was adopted from Korea.It's an unusual situation, isn't it? My parents struggled with infertility for several years before I was born, and they ended up adopting my Korean brother.Then, a few years later, they got pregnant with me, and I was born.My brother had different hair color, skin color, and eye color than me, but we got along very well.Even though we knew from a young age that we were adopted because of our differences, we got along well, and we were a family that loved each other deeply.
We played the same games, read books together, and spent a lot of time together. He always took good care of me, and he was a good brother who made me laugh.
I would say, “Brother, let's read this book together!” and he would always smile and read it to me. I think I liked and enjoyed his warmth to me, rather than focusing on the content of the book.
When we left our cozy home environment, it was time to go to school, and during this time, my brother and I were asked a lot of embarrassing questions.One day, while my brother and I were playing together, a friend asked me, “Jessica, why does your brother look different from you?”The question gave me pause, but he smiled and replied, “Because we are a family, looks don't matter. His positive attitude had a good effect on me, and I'm sure he had a good effect on himself, too.Watching him grow up right, and our family became interested in Korea. If he was a troublemaker and always in trouble, he wouldn't have had the time to take the time to learn about his country of origin, Korea, but when he studied well, didn't fight with his friends, and was a good person who always loved and cared for his brother, we couldn't help but wonder about his roots.
I think my parents also had the will to share Korean culture with my brother and me, to learn what they could, to broaden our horizons and deepen our family's understanding.Many years ago, when I was in middle school, my family visited Korea for the first time, and the experience left a great impression on me.
We visited many tourist spots in Seoul and saw the harmonious combination of Korean tradition and modernity.And Korea, with its many dark-haired, dark-eyed people like my brother, was somehow not foreign to me.For Americans traveling to Asia for the first time, this could have been difficult because people look different and give off different vibes, but not for me. My parents, of course, were very excited to revisit Korea, the country of my brother's birth, and spoke so many blessings about the land of my brother's birth.Of course, there were many good things to see and many fun things to do in Korea, but the most memorable moment was when I suddenly developed a high fever.
It was a quiet night in Korea at the time, and I suddenly developed a high fever.This change was so sudden that my parents panicked.Eventually, with the help of the hotel we were staying at, they were able to get me to the emergency room in Korea, where I was quickly treated.Upon arrival, the medical staff quickly assessed my condition and ran the necessary tests.The whole process was organized, and thanks to the professionalism and quick response of the medical staff, I was able to get comfortable quickly. My situation was so serious that my head hurt like a rock and I could barely understand what was being said around me, but thanks to their quick response, my fever started to come down and I was able to return to my senses.The tests showed that I had a severe flu, which had been contracted in the United States and had incubated in Korea.I had to stop traveling in Korea and be admitted to the hospital for treatment, but thanks to the fast and efficient healthcare system in Korea, this was not a problem.
My parents breathed a sigh of relief and expressed their deep gratitude to the Korean healthcare system.“If it wasn't for Korea, I would have been in trouble,” my father said.Although my family had to stop our trip to Korea and spend the rest of my stay in a Korean hospital, looking back, it was also a unique experience abroad.
Many years later, as an adult, my relationship with my brother was still good. We enjoyed Korean dramas, movies, and music together, cooked Korean food together, and learned Korean together.
However, there was a clear difference between me and him: he seemed to be better at learning, even if he spent the same amount of time studying, and he went to a prestigious university, while I failed to get into college and became depressed.
He helped me with my studies every vacation, taught me how to study, and helped me to get into a prestigious university, but the results were not good. I was rejected by all the universities I applied to, and I was going through a very difficult time. After he graduated from college, he moved back home from the East Coast of the United States and helped me study for the college entrance exam, and with his help, I was able to get into college, albeit late.
Although I didn't get into a prestigious university like my brother, I still had a satisfying college experience and broadened my horizons.Naturally, I discovered that Korea has been on the global radar lately, which was very exciting.Korea may be the latest trend for Americans these days, but for me and my brother, it's like going back to our roots.I've always loved Korea, and it was very interesting and fond to reminisce about my trip to Korea when I was in middle school and look through my photo albums, even though half the time I was sick. So, my brother and I decided to visit Korea again, and this time, we had several goals for the trip: we wanted to make sure that we got it right this time, because we didn't get it right the first time, and my brother wanted to get to know his Korean roots better, even though he is now an adult, working as an American and living as an American, and I wanted to get to know my Korean roots better in relation to my major in college, and this time, I wanted to research more about the Korean healthcare system that I had experienced as a child.
Of course, I also wanted to have fun in Korea and enjoy the freedom to roam around the country unlike when I was a student, but I didn't take it too seriously.
Korea was so different from the U.S. It had the look of a big city in the U.S., but it had its own unique vibe. It was much more developed than the neighborhoods we live in in the U.S., and everywhere you looked was filled with people, and there were hundreds or thousands of stores selling a variety of things. If you were walking around and traveling, and you got thirsty and needed a break, there were cafes all around you that you could just pop into and take a break, and you didn't have to go far to find a restaurant that had one Korean food and sold it, because all the infrastructure was there.
Everything is around you, and everything you want or need is always right around the corner, which is why people call city life so convenient and love it.The public transportation system in Korea, which is light years better than the big cities in the U.S., helped us get around without any difficulty.It was also so much fun to get a T-money card, carry it around, and use it to get around Korea for a very low cost.
And when my brother and I would walk around, going to cafes, restaurants, and other places where there was something to do, many Koreans would tell us that we made a good looking couple.When I would tell them, in a pleasant and complimentary way, that we were actually brother and sister, they would look surprised and apologize.
But it's completely understandable, because even in the U.S., more people think of us as a couple or friends than they do as siblings, and there's not much of an adoption culture in Korea, and no one adopts and brings European or American children to Korea, so it's no wonder we get these funny misunderstandings.
To be honest, even in the U.S. nowadays, you can still encounter people who ask my brother and I questions about our relationship with unpleasant intentions to hurt us, assuming that we are not a couple or friends, but maybe even a man.A recent memory is of an American grandfather in his 70s who made a very rude remark to us, asking us what kind of father our father was to have two women give birth at the same time.
In the U.S., most people are friendly and kind to me, but the problem is that some people sometimes make fun of my brother because he looks Asian, but this was not the case in Korea at all.No one discriminated against me because of my different appearance.
And there's actually a story I wasn't going to tell in this article, but I'm writing it down because I had my brother's permission to do so.After arriving in Korea, we decided to search for my adopted brother's birth parents in order to trace his roots.My parents and I respected his decision to pursue this endeavor in Korea, and of course, we decided to support it. We visited the Korean adoption agency and requested my brother's adoption records.The representative provided us with all the information possible and was eager to help us, saying that efforts to find one's roots are ongoing every day.Together, we were able to find some important clues in the records.
My brother decided to visit his birthplace based on those clues, and of course, I joined him on the journey.We were always laughing since we came to Korea, but at this moment, there was more seriousness than laughter.We visited my brother's birthplace together and talked to the local people.
At the time, there was only a vague record of my brother's father and mother, but no proper records, so we only knew where he was born, and we had to go there and find someone who had lived there for a long time.But Korea is a very fast-developing country, and the sad thing is that the area where my brother was born and spent the first few months of his life was already torn down and replaced by a huge apartment complex. We felt that if we had come sooner, at least before these new apartments were built, things would have been at least better than they were, but there was no point in regretting what had passed.We visited the social welfare center and police station in the area, explained our situation, and asked for help.The Korean people were very kind, listening to my brother's story and letting us know what we could do.
We were told that when a new apartment building is built in Korea, new people who have no connection to the area move into the apartment, but that some of the people who live in these new apartments have been living here for a long time, most likely elderly people, and that the best thing to do is to find them and ask them about their past.We felt that this information would be very useful to us, as we were very confused and frustrated.
So my brother and I, along with a Korean lady who felt sorry for us and wanted to help, approached the elderly people who came in and out of the apartment and asked them questions.But despite all our efforts, we were unsuccessful in finding my brother's biological parents.We had many clues and information, but we were unable to find any conclusive evidence.My brother was disappointed, but we were comforted by the fact that we had done our best. Maybe if we could have spent a few weeks, maybe even a few months here to find and talk to an elderly person with memories of the past, we could have found a clue to the solution, but we couldn't stay in Korea, so in the end, we had to give up without proceeding any further.When I saw the look on my brother's face as he said that if he had the chance, he would visit Korea next time for this sole purpose, I felt a great sense of disappointment.“It's a shame that we couldn't find them, but thank you for trying,” he said to me.I couldn't say it anymore.
It would have been great if he could have completed his homework, but he didn't.Contrary to my initial expectations, the Korean adoption agency tried to be as helpful as possible, and I was very grateful to the government officials in the place of my brother's supposed birth, who were very sympathetic to his situation and actively tried to help him, and to the Korean lady who passed by.
Having been treated by the Korean healthcare system in the past, I took this level of care for granted and thought that it was something that everyone could enjoy, but then, when I was a high school student in the U.S., I was seriously ill and did not receive the same care as I did in Korea, so I remember suffering terribly and tried to understand why this difference occurred.
Before I came to Korea, I had already arranged to meet with someone, and although I didn't get to visit any specialized institutions, I was able to meet with Korean college students, and I learned a lot of information from them: medical students, pharmacy students, and I was able to get a lot of information from them.
The Korean healthcare system was different from the U.S. in many ways: it was fast, efficient, and provided a high level of care at a relatively low cost.The quick response and organized system for emergencies was especially impressive.The emergency rooms in Korea were very reasonably priced, allowing people to go to them for minor and mild symptoms.At this point, I thought that if there were a lot of people going to the emergency room for minor symptoms, it would be a problem if someone came in who needed emergency care, but the hospitals in Korea made it very easy to answer that question. I also learned that when a really urgent patient comes in, the emergency room prioritizes the emergency patients and treats them first, ignoring the minor ones. It's so simple and obvious: the doctors have the skills to determine the severity of the patient's condition, and they can prioritize the treatment accordingly.
Not only that, but it was very easy to get an appointment in Korea and the wait time was short. The Korean medical staff emphasized patient care and prompt treatment, and they utilized the latest medical technology and equipment to provide the best possible medical care.
In the U.S., medical care is often very expensive, complicated, and difficult to access quickly, and many people are unable to get proper treatment due to insurance issues.I also received prompt treatment in Korea when I was in middle school without insurance and had to pay a reasonable price, but the experience was a nightmare as I remember being very sick in middle school and high school, and I felt that the Korean system was far superior.I felt that the Korean healthcare system is not for profit, but is dedicated to protecting the health of the people.
Through my experiences in Korea, I learned about a much broader world than what my brother and I knew before.There are many factors that make Korea such a great country, but the culture and system that my brother and I experienced firsthand helped us understand why.And most of all, Korea is the country that made my brother.I have grateful feelings for Korea, which is also my brother's roots.
My brother and I could tell without speaking to each other that through this visit, we saw in each other a willingness to continue to love Korea more and more, and to strive to learn and understand Korean culture.
Korea is now a country that has special meaning to me as an adult, and I think it will be a great pleasure for me to honor my brother's roots and watch Korea develop and grow.I will continue to connect with Korea and try to help more people discover its charms.
And next year, he plans to visit Korea to find his roots once again. He plans to stay in Korea for more than a month, and he will continue his best efforts during that period.

I (f 15) have a sister (23) who will be going on a trip to another country for her job with the USMC (United States Marine Corps) Which she has a chance of not coming back from, like all US led operations. My brother (18) is graduating this year and this was the last chance for him and her to hang out before she left for the mission, by the time she will be home my brother will be in the army and will be stationed in an unknown as of now place. My sister wanted to take my brother on a road trip in which he would have to fly home, note, I'm to young to fly without an adult was the reason my parents gave me. It didn't click until after he was gone that he was 18 now and I could fly with him. I am really scared about my sister not coming home and so I had texted her telling how I felt about the situation. The text read, "The reason I'm so mad about you and brother right now is that if you don't f****** come back I don't get to have you at my graduation or for my graduation at all so this is like an unfair situation and I understand that it's not ideal and that you likely are going to come back but there's always that what if chance and if that what if chance f****** happens I'm never going to forgive myself or you" Which she responded with, "I have to take to take what time and situations I have and use them. I think it’s totally fair to give this to brother for graduation since I can’t be there. Three years from now if I get to be at your graduation, I would say that’s unfair to brother because I don’t get to be at his. I can’t control that brother was born before you and that he graduates first. Everything will be okay either way. " My sister is kick booty but there is still the chance that she won't come home. So we dropped my brother off at my sister's house and they go on their trip, brother keeps s being me texts and photos bragging about how he gets to do this with her before she's gone and she lives me more than I you ect. I soon find out that they went to the Indianapolis 500 without me which is one of my biggest dreams. So when he got home he was giving everyone their gifts and when he gave me mine, it was substantially cheaper than my parents gifts. It was a keychain, with my name, spelled the wrong way. I smiled and pretended to love it as I put it on my purse. He asked for a hug and I told him that I still wasn't happy that he went on the trip in the first place, then to add to the situation, you went and saw the Indie 500 without me. And I don't want a hug right now. He started yelling saying, "You're just ungrateful, you should even be happy I got you something."
I'm genuinely confused, am I the a hole?

I love my brothers and sister to death.
That doesn't mean I don't envy them. They grew up in a normal imperfect family while I lived and grew up with our grandparents.
I'm their half sister but loved me whole-heartedly. Cheered me up when I'm sad, listened even when I talk nonsense, my constant cheerleaders and bestfriends.
Growing up, I was multi-talented and an over-achiever. Lahat ng pwedeng gawin ng isang estudyante, ginawa ko. Sports, quiz bees, beauty pageants, singing and dance competitions, student leader, school paper, lahat yan sinalihan ko and lahat may award ako, hindi lang participation. I'm always on top my class. Always.
Panganay ako. My siblings watched and cheered for me kapag kasama sila manuod ng kung ano mang ganap ko sa school. Because I live with my grandparents in a different town, madalas wala akong kasama. I always thought proximity was the reason.
I am now 26 years old and clinically depressed. I realized I was always alone kasi hindi importante sa lola ko ang proseso. Growing up, paulit ulit na sinasabi sakin ng lola ko na dapat lagi akong magaling. Dapat lagi akong panalo. May ibang pamilya na yung mama ko, my dad is out of the picture, and I am all alone. Lagi nyang sinasabi na naaawa lang daw sya sakin kaya nya ako inaalagaan. Kapalit ng pag aalaga nila sakin ng lolo ko, dapat lagi akong panalo. Dapat laging magaling. Dapat laging pinaka-magaling para daw end of school year, hindi nakakahiya. Nakakahiya naman daw kasi kung hindi ako first honor. Kaya lahat sinalihan ko. Siguro determination ko rin kaya lagi din naman akong nananalo.
I remember bringing home graded test papers na ako naman yung highest, di nga lang perfect scores. My lola would say, "bakit minali mo pa yung isa/dalawa/tatlo?" "Sinong highest?"
I grew up alone and scared of life. I didn't know why I existed. I still dont. I just thought, if I don't win in these competitions, my mom, step dad and siblings won't come to my recognition day/graduation day. I always thought they would love me less.
Today, one of my brothers graduate. I feel sad and envious at how my mom is so excited. She's been telling me these past few days "gagraduate na si my brother sa 29" kahit na alam ko naman na kasi ako yung umaattend ng mga meeting sa school nya.
I am incredibly proud of my brother. Hindi high honors but with honors. I saw how he studied and cooked para sa grades na meron sya. (SHS, TVL-cookery) kaya nagi-guilty ako na sobrang lungkot ko kasi inggit na inggit ako. I graduated high school na parang wala lang despite my awards.
For my siblings, competion is achievement. Awards are bonus. Proud na sa kanila yung parents nila. Para sakin, dapat laging panalo. My mom was advised to attend my HS graduation last minute na kasi my tita and lola doesn't want to attend kasi they were expecting na MAS MARAMI akong awards. Muntik na akong umattend ng graduation ko na mag isa. Naalala ko pa sabi ko noon, "wag na lang kaya, okay lang yun. Pwede naman pick upin na lang yung diploma next time". Im glad my mom showed up.
Ewan ko ba. Kahit alam ko na yung mga nangyari at maling mentality noon, ang hirap pa rin mag adjust. Ang hirap paniwalain yung sarili ko na enough ako tulad ng mga kapatid ko na enough just by existing. Ang hirap paniwalaan. Para pa rin akong nagsisinungaling sa sarili ko.
I now work and still have the constant need to be the best and be recognized. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I an 18F who graduated this Sunday from high school. I chose a long time ago to work instead of college as college can be something that I can work towards.
It all started at the beginning of my senior year in August. I wanted to go into the military initially the Navy branch as some of my dad's side of the family was in hoping to continue the tradition. I got an 34 on the ASVAB in the Navy recruiter's office with my boyfriend 20M in talking to the recruiter as I'm in the next room over testing. My boyfriend took me home and I spoke to my parents about it. I was highly disappointed in their answers about my own decision. I didn't sign yet and was deeply thinking about it. My mother said I wouldn't survive bootcamp and my father said they would place me wherever they needed me him not knowing I can advocate for myself.
I also look at colleges and was gonna apply to 1 that I really liked but my parents didn't want me to go to school bcs it's 2hrs away from home knowing I could live with my nana (grandma) which is an hour drive from her house. I just decided to give up on fathering my education as tension rose between my father and boyfriend.
A few months later I told my father that I wanted to work and do online college. That didn't set very well with him at all. He blew up on me saying my boyfriend is trying to convince me to do it but my boyfriend didn't do anything, I chose not too myself. My boyfriend was in the room as he was proud that I said what I needed to and chose my own direction in life.
Being the responsible adult that I am. Going to work then setting money aside online college is a reachable goal and doing it on my terms. AITA?

Hi,
A couple on a community What’s App group chat were reaching out to hire a photographer for their wedding.
I knew a friend of mine who used to be a photographer and she was ok lending me her camera for the event, so I reached out to the couple to let them know I could do it.
They asked me if I had a portfolio, and I used to photograph college graduations part-time a few years ago, but no weddings. Due to this, they were really (I mean REALLLY) short-changing me.
They offered me a total of $80 to be a photographer at their wedding and reception, and cited that they were taking a risk by hiring me but wanted to give me a chance. I was hesitant, but that money goes a long way for me and I was down bad lately so I accepted.
They sent me a contract which had our names and location of the event and other boilerplate language and I signed it.
The venue was really far away almost 2.5 hours away, but I had a friend who lived there and he was currently visiting me and was going to be going there anyway so I was going to hitch a ride with him and stay at his place a few days before the wedding.
Everything was going smooth, until a few days before the wedding they said that there is a storm and possible tornado forecast and they can’t have the wedding venue at that location anymore since it was outdoors and they were going to move the wedding indoors in a church right next to my house. That was perfect since I now didn’t need a ride to the other city. I let my friend know, and a few days later he went to the city by himself.
3 days before the wedding, the couple decided to move the wedding back to the city 2.5 hours away since the forecast was looking better. I didn’t even have a ride anymore since my friend left. I told the couple that it won’t be possible for me and they ignored me for 3 days. I assumed they probably decided to go with someone else.
Literally on the day of the wedding the husband is blasting my texts asking me where I am and that I’m missing important moments from the wedding. I show him the text that I sent and he said he didn’t read it because he was busy with the wedding. He asked me to call an Uber, but those were insanely expensive and I’d actually be at a huge loss taking an Uber. He said he was not going to pay for it since it was my job.
I couldn’t do anything else. I asked if he knew someone still in town I could hitch a ride with and he said no. He then started sending rude texts and saying some crazy (and also racist) stuff. I block him and turn off my phone.
When I turn it back on, I find that I was apparently the only photographer at the wedding and they didn’t have anyone else. They now want to sue me for contract breach and emotional damage. I can’t afford a lawyer and I called 5 people in my area and all of them are asking for $300-$500 per hour to look over my contract.
The couple are also posting my profile picture all over facebook and tagging me and saying I ruined their wedding??? And their friends are also commenting mean things.
I’m not sure what to do at this point. Please any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I currently work in the fast food industry and have been working at the same location for the past 5 years. For context, I work at a Panda Express that operates in one of the suburbs of Chicago. I was hired when I was 16 years old back in August 2019; I worked part-time during the school year and full-time during the summer. When I started college in another state after graduating high school, I would go on temporary leave and return to the same location during wintesummer break. And each time I return I have been absolutely appalled about how our location keeps jacking up the prices, while the wages stay practically the same.
Here’s the breakdown (this is for the Panda Bowl btw), which consists of one side one entree because that’s the only menu item that I 100% remember the price when I first started back in 2019. No premium entrees are included; it’s just the standard bowl:
Bowl Price: August 2019- $7.02 after tax May 2024 (now)- $9.33 after tax
Price increase: 32.9%
Minimum starting wage: August 2019- $13.00 May 2024 (now)- $15.50
Price increase: 19.2%
The results show that the bowl prices at this particular Panda Express location have increased approximately 71.35% more than the increase in the minimum wage from year 1 to year 5. I find this statistic disheartening, and while I’m no economist and understand that it’s not realistic for wages to keep up with inflation on a 1:1 basis, it definitely seems like these differences are far too drastic and speak to the squeezes many workers are facing.
Two disclaimers:

1. I make more than the minimum wage at my location; because I return each year they’ve added on a bit more to my hourly each time. I currently get paid $17.25 an hour but I’m aware of the starting wage at my store since I’ve asked my new coworkers and my manager when I came back this summer. The increase from the $13.00 starting to my current hourly of $17.25 is actually more in-line with the bowl price increase (32.6% vs 32.9%) over the 5 years, but it’s safe to say that turnover is extremely high in retail and fast food and it’s not realistic to stay at the same garbage company for years.
   
2. I wish I could have the exact figures for each consecutive year starting from year 1 to make it a more accurate “case study,” especially since I’m sure COVID fucked things up, but I didn’t GAF about keeping track of all those prices back then, I was just trying to save up money lol. Feel free to lmk your thoughts below, and I’ll try to answer any questions if there are any.
   

Hi everyone
As a final year international student, this is the only chance to have USCEs aka electives
After graduation, I will try to search for a research position ~ 2 years + 1 year of searching for a position
I calculated the time between taking my USCEs and applying for the match and it is approximately 3+ years
This is considered old USCE according to what I have been reading.
Are old USCEs of no value as people say?
And how can I really manage to have recent USCEs with recent research experience and be a recent graduate at the same time if everything is strict like this?

Okay so quick summary!!
I 15 m dated a dude 15 m and we dated April 29th and broke up May 10th… And he said he wanted to be friend and I was okay with it honestly I didn’t mind him being friends with me. So he continued talking to me every single day but when he got bored with me he would give me single emoji response so I would I just leave it like that until he would start a new conversation. He would also want to play smash or pass with me, talk about his crushes and kinda do things to make me jealous or mad or something but I simply said Go for your crushes or when he would ask me smash or pass I would simply say i don’t know. And he would continue until a week ago. A week ago he asked me if I wanted to go to the mall with his friend so said no because I had to go out of town for a graduation party. So then after that he stopped texting me and telling me things. I was happy about it because now I don’t feel obligated to respond to his messages. But I texted him today just to see how he is doing he said that he is bored and don’t even ask me anything… I was thinking 🤔. But at the same time I left it at that. So now I’m thinking of deactivating my IG for a while… and I wonder if I’m over exaggerating? Is he wrong? I need advice. Also since he only hangs out with only 2 people and it’s me and this one other girl that is sweet! So now my question is this why does he want to be friends? Why is he all of a sudden acting dry with me? I just wonder. I still have feelings for him but if he doesn’t want to have relationship with me it’s totally fine with me I don’t mind I just wonder what to do in this situation

You can achieve career, world travel, significant other, graduate degree, six figure salary, significant savings, decent body, but you will never get over complex PTSD and having no family. I was born in the wrong body. My mother hates me because I don't look like her, my father never gave a fuck. Extended family doesn't care either. I've had plenty of friends who love me, made tons of people cry. I'll probably delete this in the morning. I'm just saying, it never gets better. I've had tons of therapy. There is truly no hope. I'm just too chicken shit to off myself.