I (52F) went to A&E back in late February because I waws having trouble drawing a full breath. Thinking I was going to be Rx'd some inhalers and perhaps referred to the respirology (I've been having problems for years but have never formally been diagnosed with asthma), you can imagine my shock when I was advised that I was being admitted because they were unhappy with some cardiac blood work results (they're working through those as I type).
Anyway, I'm on a waiting list to be seen by the Respiratory service (appointment is in mid July) but I've been given access to the radiology report(s) from all of the film they took on the day of my visit to A&E (X ray/CT scan etc).

A HOSPITAL NEAR YOU Patient Name: SomeWomanFromCanada MIS Number: 8186935918824 Hospital Number: 295375063 10118287 22/02/2024 CT Angiogram pulmonary Clinical Question:SOB intermittent worse this today, raised d-dimer and troponin?PE Findings: No previous imaging available for comparison. Adequate opacification of the pulmonary artery trunk (350HU). No pulmonary embolism from the pulmonary artery trunk to the subsegmental levels. There is reflux of contrast into the hepatic veins, no other radiological evidence of right heart strain. There is patchy atelectasis and parenchymal infiltrate in both lower lobes. There are small granulomas noted in the right upper, lower lobe and the left upper lobe and scattered tiny sub 2mm nodules in the right middle and lower lobes. No pleural effusion or focal consolidation. No endobronchial lesions. No thoracic lymphadenopathy. Unremarkable appearance of the imaged upper abdominal viscera. No destructive osseous lesions. Conclusion: No pulmonary embolism. Non specific patchy atelectasis and parencymal infiltrate as desribed. Dr Cassian Andor Consultant Radiologist GMC 2266977 This report is generated for the referring clinician. Should patients have queries regarding the report, these should be discussed with the referring clinical team. Reported by: Dr Orson KRENNICK

Can anyone please tell me what to make of this report?
I''m most interested in the references to _patchy atelectasis_ and _parencymal infiltrate_
From my limited medical knowledge, there's something going on in my lungs but it's not cancerous or anything icky like that nor is it cardiac in nature or a blood clot.
FWIW, I am prone to getting bronchitis every time I get a head cold (regardless of how mild the cold is); in the winter, cold air triggers repeated episodes of bronchitis (when I lived in Canada, I carried a bottle of Buckleys Mixture and an oral syringe in my purse all winter every winter because it was the only thing that would come close to helping the cough).
I've also recently been prescribed a 'blue' salbutamol (rescue) inhaler and a Clenil Modulite 100mcg (beclamethasone) 'brown' (reliever) inhaler by my GP (while I wait for my appointment with the respiratory service) ... I've felt better since I've started using them (I had a lung function test this morning and haven't had the Clenil Modulite since Monday night and am feeling a little congested in my chest.
Anyway, I am new to all of this and I thank you all for a) reading this far and b) offering your collective wisdom as I try to figure out WTF is going on.

(The information on the three gold companies in this report is not definitive. Instead, this information will drive you to do more due diligence and make an investment decision.)
A different way to invest in gold is to look for great properties. If you bundle the three companies/properties in this piece, you could own three great properties collectively for under CDN2.00 a share.
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GOLDEN RAPTURE MINING (GLDR: CSE) is a collection of premier Ontario mining properties in the Rainy River region that have done enough work to unveil potential, below but left a significant amount of gold with great g/t numbers. As of this morning, some numbers will indeed up its profile. Considering the stock has been listed for about two weeks, these results are excellent. Forgive the length of the table, but given the quality of the results, investors must get the whole picture.
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First, the newest, being listed in the last month, is Golden Rapture Gold. The Company intends to reactivate past mines in the Rainy River area of Ontario. The property is so new that management has only walked about 5% of it, but the numbers are already impressive over its two projects. The Company holds a 100% interest in the high-grade Phillips Township Gold Property, Rainy River District, NW Ontario. The land package totals 225 claim cells for approximately ten thousand acres located close to 4 mineral deposits. These assets include the New Gold Rainy River Mine (+8 million Oz.), the Cameron Lake Deposit (1.8 million Oz.), the Agnico Eagle-Hammond Reef deposit (3.3 million Oz.), the Tartisan Nickel, Copper, and Cobalt Deposit, and many others. Mature local infrastructure, workforce, heavy-duty equipment, hospitals, major highway systems, and local services are nearby.
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Mr. Richard Rivet, CEO of Golden Rapture, commented: “I am incredibly pleased that we have just made some essential and rapid steps toward identifying additional high-grade drill-ready targets. We were pleasantly surprised to discover many high-grade quartz veins on the surface, with the majority of them carrying gold. Unlike many exploration companies, we are not just chasing the typical geophysical anomaly but also many vast high-grade gold structures identified on the surface that can be drilled at any time.
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The Company holds a 100% interest in the high-grade Phillips Township Gold Property, Rainy River District, NW Ontario. The land package totals 225 claim cells for approximately ten thousand acres located close to 4 mineral deposits.
These assets include the New Gold Rainy River Mine (+8 million Oz.), the Cameron Lake Deposit (1.8 million Oz.), the Agnico Eagle-Hammond Reef deposit (3.3 million Oz.), the Tartisan Nickel, Copper, and Cobalt Deposit, and many others. Mature local infrastructure, workforce, heavy-duty equipment, hospitals, major highway systems, and local services are nearby.
Ryan Yanch CIM, a director of GLDR, states***, ‘One extremely important fact is that GLDR’s drilling cost is an industry-leading CDN140 a meter. It is not unusual for other gold comp[anbies to spend CDN200-400 or more a meter. One major contributor to this is that one significant cost is the location of the drilling company. 17 km away from the properties significantly lowers the capital cost and allows a more robust drilling program”.***
Given the uniqueness and exceptional quality of GLDR’s properties, there could be excellent investor support. Gold is rallying, and the prospect of further rises may portend in the shadow of interest rate cuts.
Previous work on the properties quickly removes the ubiquitous ‘drill’ on the property or other tropes. These are serious businessmen and women with decades of mining and entrepreneurial experience.
In the world of junior mining IPOs, there is a feeling that the stars must align to profit. Au contraire***. The keys to investing success are the right properties, management, and, in this case, a rallying gold price.***
Numero Deux
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Element79 Gold Corp (the “Company”) (CSE: ELEM) (OTC: ELMGF) is a fascinating gold company and the second in our gold triumvirate located primarily in Peru through its flagship Lucero, Peru, property.
(Full Disclosure: James Tworek, CEO of Element79, is an adviser to the GLDR Board. Your humble scribe owns a small position in each Company.)
The past-producing Lucero Mine (“Lucero”) is one of the highest-grade underground mines in Peru’s history, with grades averaging 19.0g/t Au Equivalent (“Au Eq”) (14.0 g/t gold and 373 g/t silver).
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In its past 5 years of production, ending in 2005, it produced an average of 40,000oz+/yr.
Assays from March 2023 yielded 21-ore-grade and high-yield up to 11.7 ounces per ton of gold and 247 ounces per ton of silver from underground workings, further validating the potential for a significant high-grade future operation.
Consolidating its focus in this region and its impressive geology, ELEM acquired the Roxana Vein and surrounding 1200ha property, Lucero del Sur 28, via auction held on May 17, 2023. The property is located strategically just east of the high-grade Lucero gold-silver project.
Instead of going into much history, let’s look at the Press release ELEM put out on April 23. New assays were released, and CEO James Tworek stated, “The data obtained is not just promising; it’s the cornerstone upon which our future endeavours will be built,” said James Tworek, CEO of Element 79. “These recent results, coupled with historical data, represent the bedrock upon which we are advancing our Lucero project.”
Corporate Presentation.
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From the PR: A total of 97 samples were sent for assays, 56 of which returned greater than 0.1 g/t gold (up to 8.55 g/t gold and 523 g/t silver. Several samples also were rich in base metals (up to 23.7% lead and 9.9% zinc), all of which underscores the richness of our project, further supporting the Company’s belief a robust resource base can be delineated. (Actual assay numbers are shown in the PR)
James C Tworek further states, “Element79 Gold has transformed from an asset amalgamator and seller to a near-term production story, responding to Peru’s government push for formalizing artisanal mining operations. We at Element79 Gold are thrilled to share our unwavering dedication to bringing our Lucero gold project in Peru into production. This past-producing, high-grade gold and silver mine holds immense potential to revitalize our Company and foster economic growth and prosperity in the region. “
The other ELEM property brings us back to North America. Nevada, to be precise. Reason to pay attention?
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Maverick Springs is adjacent to the Carlin Trend. For the uninitiated, the area contains several of the largest gold mines on Earth. The area includes a number of the largest gold mines on Earth. Maverick Springs is a blind deposit comprising a 30-120 metre thick, flat-lying zone centred on an anticlinal structure with oxidation pervasive to 120 metres and intermittent to 270 metres. (5)
West Whistler property is in the same area as Maverick, closer to the Battle Mountain Trend, alongside Carlin: Near several gold deposits, including the Cortez Mine, North America’s third largest gold mine with 2021 gold production of 828,000 ounces.
Finally, the Clover Property, 16 km west of the massive Hecla Mine in the Northern Nevada Rift. The property sits at the top and centre of the Carlin and Battle Mountain Trends.
Nevada Gold’s active Turquoise Ridge Mine, the third largest gold mine in the United States with 537,000 ounces of gold production reported in 2020, as well as the Twin Creeks open pit mines and the dormant Pinson and Getchell mines.
Element 79 has drilling programs announced for the 2023/24 years and a more vigorous program for 2024/25.
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As (GoldSilver.com) an aside, the gold price—and silver—have softened after particularly gold had a decent run. The first two in our group have slid a bit but seem to be holding in nicely.
If one follows gold forecasts, the pundits call for USD 2500-3000 over the next few years. The strategy is simple: A move to USD 3,000 represents a 50% appreciation. However, that also comes with physical and liquidity issues should you want to sell.
And the Gold price?
On December 30, 2022, gold closed the year at $1,819.70 per ounce. Flash forward to one year later, and gold closed 2023 at $2,062.40. That’s a gain of 13.3% in a single year.
With gold pushing to new record highs, it’s a fascinating time for gold investors.
Predicting the future of gold prices is never easy, but to offer some insights into what 2024 might hold, we’ve (compiled an array of gold price forecasts, outlooks, and predictions from renowned banks, industry experts, and financial analysts.
Let’s take a look.
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Numero Three
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Off we go to South America. This time, Columbia with SOMA Gold. (TSXV: SOMA) (WKN: A2P4DU) (OTC: SMAGF) (the “Company” or “Soma“) recently announced that gold production for Q1 2024 was 7,335 AuEq ounces, an increase of 8% over the same period in 2023.
Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
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The Company owns two adjacent mining properties in Antioquia, Colombia, with a combined milling capacity of 675 tpd. (Permitted for 1,400 tpd). The El Bagre Mill is currently operating and producing. Internally generated funds are being used to finance a regional exploration program.
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Soma is further ahead than our previous companies, which doesn’t make it better; it is just a different stage of development.
Corporate Presentation, 2023 results, Tech Report.
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Properties
Cardero Mine

• The 84 thousand tonnes (kt) production rate in 2022 will ramp up to a peak mining production rate of 248 kt (680 tpd) in 2024. Achieving the planned peak production rate of 248 kt per annum would allow the Company to restart its previously operating El Limon Mill, with feed from Cordero in late 2023.
• El Bagre Gold Mining Complex is located approximately 167 km northeast of Medellín in the Department of Antioquia, Colombia. Soma produced 23,115 ounces of gold at its El Bagre Mill in 2022, an increase of 30% from the previous year. Soma’s production forecast for 2023 is for a further 50% increase to 35,500 ounces of gold produced.
• In addition to its operating El Bagre Mill, Soma owns the 225 tpd Limon Mill, which is located 47 km south of the El Bagre Mill. The Limon Mill has been on care and maintenance since 2020 but will be restarted when production from the Cordero Mine exceeds the capacity of the El Bagre Mill.
• The Limon Mill operates similarly to the El Bagre Mill with two-stage crushing, ball milling, gravity concentration, flotation, cyanidation, Merrill Crowe precipitation, and smelting to produce doré. The mill was upgraded in 2017 to a capacity of 225 tpd and is permitted for up to 400 tpd.

As mentioned, these three companies are similar in that they have what appear to be skookum properties. They are also all great gold proxies, and they all trade for under CDN1.00. Cheekily, I may have said that investors can own all three companies for under CDN 2.00 a share.
While I like the companies, I would buy them for their land positions. All have land that isn’t some dust pit but has either historical or proven assays. And most are near large producers. Element79; Nevada.Carlin Trend? Seriously?

Hi! … I’m a MOD at Jung and I’ve been sharing my articles there for a few years now. I thought this sub could be a good fit for some of them. I read the rules and it seems to me that it’s ok for me to share, if it isn’t, I apologize in advance. Please let me know what I’d need to change.
The Secret Reasons You Procrastinate and How To Overcome Them
The first thing you have to understand is that procrastination isn’t about laziness and rarely about the task we’ve been avoiding.
Simply put, procrastination happens because of the meaning we attach to certain tasks, and because of this hidden meaning, procrastination becomes a strategy to avoid facing something deeper.
For instance, since I launched my book and I have more people paying attention to me, I started procrastinating on posting about certain topics and telling my stories.
Why? … Because I’m afraid of being judged and not being good enough. This evokes my desire to be perfect, which leads to being identified with my productions and being attached to the outcome.
When I was overweight, I’d constantly procrastinate on buying new clothes.
Why? … Because I’d have to look myself in the mirror. I knew my clothes were getting tighter and I didn’t want to buy a bigger number of pants. I was avoiding facing I wasn’t taking good care of myself.
Recently, I lost my credit card and to get a new one was very simple. All I had to do was make a phone call, but I avoided it for weeks.
Why? … Because the call had to be done in Spanish, and I don’t feel very confident speaking Spanish yet.
This makes me feel insecure, because I feel like my Spanish should be way better now that I’m living in Argentina. Of course, this is all in my head, the truth is that I can already hold conversions in Spanish, but I’m judging myself too harshly.
Do you see? … Procrastination is just a symptom of something deeper.
It’s about the meaning and heaviness we attach to certain tasks and while this is unconscious, they feel much bigger than they actually are. In fact, even using the word “procrastination” detracts us from the real experience as it’s a way to avoid uncovering the real truth.
People believe that just because they know a word they know everything there is to know about something. The truth is that using terms provides an illusory sense of control because now “we know what the thing is”.
However, we have to look for the secret reason behind procrastination, just like the examples I gave you. I wasn’t “procrastinating”, I didn’t want to feel rejected or judged.
When we unwrap the real reason, it becomes conscious and we can finally do something about it. It’s no longer this invisible master of puppets making us feel ashamed and guilty for constantly postponing certain tasks.
The Root Cause of Procrastination
During my practice as a therapist, I understood that procrastination is a very common symptom in people under the influence of a mother or father complex, and this took things to a whole new level.
In very simple terms, these are people who don’t want to grow up and take any responsibility for their lives. Some people know that as the Peter Pan syndrome, but nowadays people call it the man-child or the woman-child. in Jungian Psychology, we call it the Puer and Puella Aeternus.
When I realized that, I understood that the problem of procrastination is something much deeper, it’s not about postponing daily tasks, It’s about postponing growing up and fully living life. New studies are showing that adolescence is extending to 30 years old and people are doing everything they can to remain childish.
Why? … Because this is the easy way out, while you’re childish you don’t have to take responsibility for anything and you can always blame your parents, your family, and society.
All of this passivity and lack of responsibility leads to people feeling lost and having no sense of purpose and direction. This obviously leads to massive amounts of anxiety and depression. Procrastination is just a symptom of something deeper and that’s why simply giving you a list of habits won’t solve it, we have to address the root cause first.
We have to talk about our attitude towards life and what lies underneath procrastination:
For some it’s the fear of becoming independent, truly growing up, and making their own decisions.
Others feel like they’re not good enough to do what they truly desire.
Others procrastinate to avoid disappointing their families or partners.
Others procrastinate because they don’t have the right motivation,
they’re just trying to please someone else. On a deeper, level, they’re living their entire lives with someone else’s map.
Others procrastinate because they lack self-esteem and don’t feel like they deserve to accomplish anything.
Others procrastinate because they’re afraid they’ll be rejected if they put themselves out there.
While others procrastinate because they’re afraid of failure.
The First Thing
If you’re under the influence of a mother and father complex, the first thing you have to realize is that there’s a part of you that wants to remain a child and sabotages all your attempts to become independent and accomplish your goals. This part is also very clever, as it’s a master in creating the perfect excuses to avoid doing all the tasks you have to do.
Now, I know that many people were dealt a bad hand, I had to deal with CPTSD and severe derealization. However, the first thing that ought to be done is to emotionally and psychologically separate yourself from your parents. Until you do so, you’ll never be your own person and you’ll be forever doomed to repeat their stories.
Simply put, psychologically speaking, being under the influence of the parents entails that you unconsciously adopt their worldview, beliefs, fears, and all of their patterns around work, money, relationships, and life in general.
I won’t go into full detail here because I already wrote extensively about it in my Conquer The Puer and Puella Aeternus Series, I’ll focus on expanding these ideas and how they apply specifically to procrastination.
What I’d like to add is that you won’t be able to carve your own path if you don’t take the responsibility upon you to craft your own values and create your unique sense of meaning.
These answers won’t come from anyone else but you, and if you don’t actively engage in this process, you’ll operate with goals and a belief system that have nothing to do with your personality and authentic desires. You’ll be trying to please others and fulfill their expectations instead of following your soul. That’s what most people choose to do and that’s also why they lead meaningless lives.
Just a quick note here, when I say that people have to emotionally separate from their parents some people tend to assume this is a bad thing. But this is not about cutting ties with your family and shutting them off, this is about becoming your own person, it’s about developing your own personality, beliefs, and values.
It’s about becoming independent and letting go of the need for their approval. It’s about individuation, which means carving your own path. In some cases, this will require keeping a certain distance from the family while for others this might not be necessary, you have to discern what’s your scenario and not use your family as an excuse.
Comfort – A Poisonous Drug
Being under the influence of the parental complex means that you either live a life trying to fulfill their expectations or trying to prove them wrong, in this second case, you do everything they wouldn’t approve. Either way, it’s not a conscious decision because everything is done in reaction to the parents, it’s not an expression of your individuality.
Taking things into a procrastination context, the quickest way to realize if you’re under the influence of a negative mother complex is if you’re constantly seeking COMFORT.
In other words, you’re procrastinating because you HAVE the perfect
conditions.
I know, a bit of a mind fuck…
The problem is that you got used to your current level of comfort and this keeps you stuck. Comfort is one of the most powerful drugs that exists. I love it when I can just brew myself a great cup of coffee and simply stare into the void. I just want to do nothing and pretend that I don’t have any adult responsibilities for a while, lol.
The problem is that people usually fall in love with this “pretending” and it quickly becomes an escapism. Whenever there’s a situation demanding growth, instead of facing it head-on, they choose the easy way out.
When you do that, you also open the door to a mediocre life. This mediocre spirit whispers in your ear, “It’s ok to eat that extra cookie”. “It’s ok to spend all of your time doom scrolling or watching adult videos”.
Quickly, it converts into a master of puppets keeping you hostage of your own “comfort”. The mindset “If I just had the perfect conditions I could start”, perfectly encapsulates it. There’s always one more book you have to read, there’s always one more thing you have to buy, the list never ends!
The first thing you have to realize is that comfort is subjective. You might not think that your current life is objectively comfortable, yet, you got used to it. Worse, you keep lying to yourself saying that everything is ok.
Avoiding making a decision doesn’t make things magically disappear, it just makes the imaginary monster bigger.
Until you admit to yourself that things must change, I’m sorry to tell you, but you’ll just keep wasting your life. This “comfort” is poisonous and will corrode your health, relationships, and all your potential to live a great life.
Now, looking on the bright side.
Once you understand that you’ve been lying to yourself, you also realize that you had the perfect conditions to start all along. Let’s be serious, if you’re reading this right now, I’m sure you have all you need to start whatever you want to do.
Instead of choosing comfort every time, you have to learn how to intelligently apply friction to yourself and we’re gonna explore that in future articles.
I’d like to end with this quoting Kant – “You’re only free when you choose to do what you don’t want to do”.
Many people have this childish idea that if they form a lot of habits they’ll stop having fun and life will become boring, but it’s exactly the other way around. If you don’t develop discipline, your destructive desires will continue to ruin your life.
It’s not fun having bad financial habits and never knowing if you’ll have enough money. It’s not fun not being able to control what we eat, constantly put on weight and feel disgusting when we look in the mirror.
It’s not fun not being able to accomplish our tasks and feel guilty, ashamed, and like a failure. Not only that, when you don’t have good habits you waste a lot of time in meaningless tasks, such as thinking about what you’re gonna eat or wear.
However, when we form good habits everything becomes automatic and we don’t have to think about it anymore, it becomes effortless and this frees a lot of mental energy. We stop being worried about meaningless stuff and we can apply this energy to deep thinking and creativity.
Having good habits and deciding exactly how we’ll spend our time, resources, and energy is extremely powerful and brings immense freedom. It’s time to stop being a slave of your illusory comfort. You’re not lost, you’re afraid of responsibility and carving your own path.
Lastly, here’s a deep dive into the mother and father complex – Conquer The Puer and Puella Aeternus
Rafael Krüger – Jungian Therapist

I’m sharing a situation that my relative is experiencing at his work which is a franchise store, not just a standalone small business. This store recently had a female employee quit and and at same time she made claims of harassment by the male staff in the dept she worked in, my relative being one of the men in that dept. Things like inappropriate and rude talk, jokes etc. The males in that dept- there are 4, and I think this complainant was the only female, are now being asked by management to take some ‘online sensitivity training’, and also sign some letter though I don’t think he’s seen that letter yet.
The issue I see here is that there was no indication of the person complaining or having an problem when working there, this claim only occurred when she resigned ie there was no known history of complaints. The woman’s personal situation isn’t good: working at this store for only a few months, and was doing poorly at the job. Low sales, not passing training course levels etc. To me this seems like management is trying to make scapegoats of the males in that dept rather than taking responsibility for the situation and simply passing it on to their legal team to handle what really appears to be false accusation. We think her aim is to simply get money from the company, expecting some sort of “settlement” to make her happy. I told my relative that he should refuse to participate in anything that implies admission of guilt i.e. why take sensitivity training when he claims there was not any harassment occurring, or signing a letter? I think this could end up badly for him- sort of like taking the fall for management- the employer may be lying if they tell him it’s all good. My question is what rights does my relative have in this situation and what should his response be? Anything I’ve looked up implies giving full co-operation but that’s during an investigation and there hasn’t been one. No interviews with HR or other corporate office personnel, and nothing provided for updated status of situation. My understanding is that he was talked to by the store owner and told of the harrassment accusation then advised the male staff will need to take the online training and sign a letter.

MDP(Most Demonic Perverts).
They will repeat “Join us” until you go insane. What throws these deranged psychopaths into a frenzy is when their evil venomous words do not bother, reach or harm the person
Each and every night, MDP conducts an air raid of High Altitude Pseudo Satellites, swarming the atmosphere, hijacking actual satellites to spy for their human trafficking and prostitution organization.
Each MDP facility contains a male homosexual drill instructor training prostitutes on how to capture people, how to trick people into signing a contract.
Do not let these extremist radical terrorists force you into suicide or anything, hold out! The more that are resilient, the quicker this will be resolved.
Once these radical terrorist biohackers successfully causes an individual to commit suicide or die in anyway, they burst from the persons dead body, giggling and laughing as they kill humans for fun and infects another person as if they were a horrific virus.
They bulge and twitch the persons eye lids as a sign of their technology’s existence within the person. If you notice any of these signs in either you or your family, you and/or them have been hijacked by biohackers.
This is an outbreak of radical terrorists in high platform airships and drones, illegally eavesdropping and trafficking humans into sex prostitution utilizing electromagnets, radio waves, and radiation
They can force a person to cough with sonic weaponry, imitating illnesses on a wide scale for control and as well, to assimilate identities illegally.
Don’t believe me! Research it!
STDs are being used to keep a person stuck within their prostitution rings.
MDP is an entire organization of drug addicts with advanced technology trafficking humans. They are all the same, against the people, not one of these demon-lovers are on the people’s side.
Cesspool homosexual orgies with drugs and STDs are systematically given to new cult members to keep them stuck in one place.
Whatever you do, do NOT care about them. They will try to use your empathy to have you kill yourselves.
Don’t panic! The hostiles are on Debilitating/Sedative drugs. Stop your bitching and fight your way through it until the threat is resolved. Keep relaxed. Let your friends, family, and kids know! Awareness destroys their recon
It’s NOT the “Illuminati”.
Keep Calm/Be Confident and Live.
Study magnets/Electromagnets.
You are not missing out on anything if someone or a group is pressing on you. Go do you! Do not let anyone influence you!
Their command centers are hidden within some call centers (Do not be paranoid!). It is urgent that you stay on the surface if you work around them. Do not let them systematically control or allure you into signing a contract to an unknown authority to make love with their merchandise in plain sight as spies or to be involved in illegal reconnaissance operations.
As long as you do not sign a contract for, and I quote, “everything you always wanted!” You will be fine.
YOU ARE NOT INVITED! Do not submit to any of their offers! They can alter words in the mind with their weaponized drones.
Stop Feeding This World Wide Threat!
Stop Surrendering because it’s too much to deal with! They are on high class drugs nearly 24/7 everyday!
Reclaim your identity or have it taken away by a criminal organization!
Non-lethal weapons modified to be lethal weapons!
Their captive women/children are their front line against men! They WILL try to force you to kneel to the their dictator, Solih, the shapeshifting hybrid. You will then be susceptible and subjected to heavier sonic attacks as well as abuses.
Do Not Quit! Do NOT Surrender!
Observe them for one year if you do not believe me. Take notes, keep quiet and carry on with your own personal life in the meanwhile. You will take notice of their patterns.
MDP terrorists are pretending to be schools as part of their scripts! They murder doctors and healers of any kind if they do not submit to being trafficked into human/sex trafficking facilities/homes!
They are not Authority of any kind, unless you surrender and you sign their contract and accept them as your handlers.
THIS IS NOT A GAME!
Stall them out! Do not move!
I can’t believe I am stating this. What is written below is not intended to be satire or a joke. This has actually contributed to their narcissism, their abuses, and mass murders
Stop masturbating to these terrorists! They are raping and abusing you and your fellow citizens, HEAVILY! Your fellow Maldivians are being raped over sonar hearing that only YOU can hear, and you masturbate to the Maldivians moaning, being raped??
You do NOT need to sign a contract to the MDP using sonar hearing to be allowed to marry, be intimate, or are subjected and forced to “marry” their trained terrorists.
They are paid liars and spies that trains prostitutes how to screw their targets exactly the way their targets want. This is done to have the target “test” the human traffickers prostitutes before they sign to keep them. Instead, you are selling yourself into human/sex/drug trafficking rings
Do not accept their “lust” they do have spies in person that are drug abuse/humans traffickers. They will bribe with sex and “free housing” then make you sign your life away, with you under the impression that you are going to some brothel or “sex club”. You will be susceptible to extreme abuses revolving around rape, drugs, and traumatic physical and mental abuses. Sound Proof Your Homes!
THEY ARE ALL THE SAME!!
They use prostitution to allure their new victims! DO NOT BELIEVE THEM!
The MDP consists of homosexual elitists, human traffickers, terrorists, Eavesdroppers/Spies utilizing sonic weapons/sonar hearing weapons to euthanize/Traffic and enslave the general public. DO NOT GO!
They will go to war with federal officials/agents to keep their bodies enslaved!
Their cults authority are primarily shapeshifting Reptillian-Jinn-Human hybrids that are seeking “World Domination utilizing Sonic weapons” in an attempt to force the innocent and the vulnerable into surrendering themselves to human/sex/drug trafficking ring.
They are not the police!
Spies are very obvious to point out!
They are illegally eavesdropping families to extract their young. Their groups primarily consists of autistic and the mentally ill, that abuses a series of class A drugs to traffick and create new slaves.
Do NOT sign the contract! It’s ridiculous! They have two contracts, one for you to surrender, and the other for you to contract yourself into surrendering voluntarily. They also wordplay aggressively.
( I am disclosing the depths of their criminal business for abusing sonar hearing technology to assimilate identities, killing ruthlessly while induced under highly potent drugs, mass kidnappings, weapons, and prostitution/pedophilia. You will be stripped of all privileges and rights to these lifelong detention facilities!)
The threat progresses like humans, but the hostiles are progressing entirely against your person.
They are trying to steal your entire identity, do not sign the contract! Otherwise you will never make choices in your own lives again!
They look like everyday people, but do not be paranoid. Be aware of your surroundings and leave a way out for yourself if you are ever caught in a potentially dangerous situation. But do NOT be paranoid, delusional, or psychotic about it as not only would you be more susceptible to any abuses, your vulnerabilities may force you to make the wrong decisions. Man/woman up if you want to keep your own free self.
Do not give into extreme paranoia!
Most Demonic Perverts human trafficking networks has expanded. Be weary of unknown terrorists/individuals giving victims rides to parties, “mansions”, or a trip to the ghetto islands for drugs
They are not the police! They are not aliens!
They will use love to manipulate you.
Think of online scams or common pop up scams you would receive on your daily Internet commute. Same thing except, they want you to traffick yourself into a entrapment facility. Using various sexual exploitation tactics, infinite gaslighting strategies to force negative emotion to their targets and threats a long with actions of inhumane abuse cycles in hopes of subduing their targets
If you accept any bribes and sign the contract offered, you will be paying taxes to a criminal organization/network, times the current state and/or government taxes you already currently pay for, along with any other extra expenses that will occur if you sign the contract.
Ex: Government Taxes + Criminal Organizations Taxes = Taxes x2 or more since you will not be in control of your currency any longer.
If you do not see actual law enforcement individuals in front of your physical self, DO NOT GET ON THE GROUND! They are NOT any authority to the people outside of their trafficking homes!
Drug abuse/Addictions attracts these hostiles. They WILL psychologically trick you into subduing yourself.
Do not be fooled by their fake friendly appearances and smiles. You will be robbed!
Pay attention to your aiground horns! But do not panic!
They are NOT the government or federal agents. They are spies from criminal organizations worldwide!
If you do not believe me, then what I am speaking of may not not make any sense to you now. (Do your own research, don’t take only my word for it) But a great number of those who reads my news update will understand that we are dealing with outlaws that are mainly responsible for the random disappearances of children.
Be aware of homes with “No trespassing” signs, unusually high activity and surveillance cameras in ghetto islands.
They are not the MNDF/MPS/NASA/God/You/yourself/or anybody else you know. Even though some has defected and joined this horrific network full of criminals and pathological murderers, pretending to be friendly or family.
Global Human Trafficking Evolution
They want to ultimately farm your kids and sell them into prostitution!
Human traffickers will start a ground war to capture their victims and to keep spying on them with aircrafts.
Cyber ventriloquism/Sonar Hearing, common tactics.
This has been worsening since 2008.
The criminal agents will immediately disinform and satire this disclosure or any as if nothing was wrong or happening right now.
Educate yourselves to save yourselves! This is NOT a test from any governments within the security fields (MNDF, MPS or any other) though these organizations may or may not be involved, credible evidence is needed to prove that these organizations are apart of the worlds most inhumane experiments utilizing electromagnets and radiation to subdue any man or woman.
Disinformation campaigns are set up and used by the villainous organization to keep the public from knowing about their “spying” on various individuals around the world and from raising awareness on their secret experiment using electromagnets and a machine that rewrites the brain in a flash.
The threat mimics medical conditions to stay hidden. Very heavy human/sex trafficking organization and operations getting worse everyday.
This is NOT a special or a unique opportunity for anyone, do not fall for this! You will be chipped, trapped, and abused inhumanly like a wild animal.
They also possess disinformation campaign divisions made solely for the purposes of covering their trafficking and tracks.
The technologically driven human traffickers will preemptively meditate on murdering you if you do not reclaim your identity!
Do NOT surrender yourself to MDP! Traffickers are seeking your signature to lock you away inside a facility.
Do NOT play hero or games with extremists. They are studying every word, step, and actions you make. With the goal to either capture, subdue, or mind break an individual into harming theirselves and/or other’s.
The traffickers wagers that they can defect millions into trafficking the victims into their criminal networks/organization and facilities around the globe, the organization calls it “hiding bodies” utilizing the individuals past as their entire method to cause the person as much psychological harm as inhumanly possible.
Powerful electromagnetic radiation is beamed into the victims skull to send and receive data, bypassing the skull to access the brain as if it was a computer hard drive. The program is only to torture and ruin lives. If not forewarned about it, lives will be abducted, or killed secretly.
Traffickers can completely invade and compromise a person and force the victim into either surrendering theirselves to their abusers and never be seen again, or the victim is left with nothing, outstripped from jobs through 24/7 focus groups to psych a person out of a job and attempt to have their victims deconstruct theirselves and others around.
This is an everyday 24/7 torture system designed to traffick, kill, torture, and molest an individual.The traffickers breed with their brothers, sisters and other blood related individuals for experimental and pedophila is a major part of their cult, DO NOT BE FOOLED!
PEDOPHILIA, TORTURE, NECROPHILIA, RAPE! These are four pillars of the Most Demonic Perverts.
Silent/Covert inbreds are waging war against innocents
All out war with mankind on one side and Most Demonic Perverts on the other.
Hostiles are taking hostages secretly through aggression and various fear tactics. MDP terrorists can cut breathing with their weapons.
Love your spouses and who you are and they may spare you by moving on to someone else.
Protect yourselves with neodymium magnets!! Protect your brain with magnets! Hover the magnets over your head.
(This is NOT fake news, we have been compromised, completely and utterly compromised!)
DO NOT GO!!! There is nothing there that will benefit you!
MDP preys on any vulnerabilities that a human possess. Stay strong to those that are affected, investigations are becoming more widespread
They entrap individuals for experimental purposes in a room with 1 bathroom and 40+ prostitutes and drug addicts, and other mentally ill criminals who enjoys their jobs in systematically destroying human lives in the most inhuman and extreme ways.
They are lead by drag queen homosexuals with a goal to create slaves by converting them into homosexuals, making it easier to control individuals.
They also have these systematic gay orgies where they abuse a plethora of drugs (crack, meth, cocaine, scopolamine, etc) before severely abusing and raping a singular victim inhumanly. The victims were once a targeted individual before they gave up and accepted becoming a sacrifice for MDP.
If you are a new victim of these crimes, do as much research as possible and disclose, disclose, disclose. DO NOT MOVE TO VOICES THAT ARE NOT AROUND YOU!
Schizophrenia is NOT the reason due to the lack of evidence, proving that schizophrenia does not exist. Do not keep silent for this horrendous criminal network! They are all traffickers and they kill in the most inhumane way and call it their “fun”.
TLDR: MDP is a nefarious organization of drugged up lunatics. The are traffickers and are replicating theirselves to be your spouse, military officials, or any government identity to force and fool any person into trafficking theirselves into a criminal network through endless gaslighting through megaphone like devices that targets one individual at a time and projects their voices bypassing their targets auditory cortex. Once the drone targets a person, they stay on that person 24/7 everyday. If you are instructed to move to Winnipeg Canada or anywhere for bribes, sexual favors, money, and/or free housing through any means of transportation, Do Not Go! You are a victim of a class action crime that has gone out of hand. Do NOT give these criminals anymore power by giving yourself up to them. You did not win anything and being targeted by these drones means that they chose you to either traffick or to be murdered covertly using drones with electromagnetic weapons attachments and technology which allows sonic hearing that the MDP criminal organization network uses to communicate directly to one another without needing to use a phone. Captured victims are forced into unpaid labor and forced prostitution. The targeted victim will be missing and stored away within one of their run down homes/facilities, unable to escape or leave. The handlers forces their new members into various ritualistic initiations cycles within their cultist group kneel, to sniff up drugs.
Once captured, they immediately commence their routines of total control and exploitation of the fully captured person. The victims are broken down to less than nothing due to repeated rape and abuse sequences. Felons within the MDP organization are to either traffick or murder a victim because their data brokers does not want to exposed and has paid a great sum of currency to illegally purchase the personal records of their targets and to send a weaponized drone to the illegally purchased individual, equipped with biohacking weapons to break down their targets into trafficking themselves, committing suicide or murdering others. They run criminal schools/organizations that breeds more human traffickers and prostitutes into the public. They Will Say Anything to Force You to move!
“We need you!” “We love you, Move!” “We want to lust your body.”
They work on every emotion within their targets brain and force the individual either into a blind rage or to try to confuse the person with their own emotions through a series of gaslighting and abuse, into moving their targets to them (I can not stress this enough, do not let them force you into trafficking yourself.
The felons also pretend to be some type of close friend to their victims in order to keep control over them. They are fully trained and prepared personally to place severe torture on one individual (they pair up and gang up on one individual at a time and “jumps” said victim. They act like grade school kids, but that’s due to the heavy influence of their handlers, crack and cocaine that has degenerated them. They also are heavily involved in the drug/prostitution ring where everyone gets raped and are all under heavy mind control from a cocktail of different drugs including cocaine.
The felons has their victims set up as empty puppets who are under complete control. The victims now turned felons/rapists/addicts are raised specifically to absorb abuse, while abusing drugs to remain numb during their operations, scopolamine, crack and cocaine to remain numb to any words from their victims.
They train individuals this way so they can deal more damage than receive it during their illegal operations. They are completely separate from reality and are all under one criminal control.
They are aware of people resisting and they promise to do everything to try to force their targets into submitting to their handlers. Warning! These Malicious Drone Operators WILL Say ANYTHING to force a person to move!
The terrorists all have their handlers speaking directly into their ears during their operations to murder or capture the innocent, giving them orders on their scripts made to place torture and destroy random individuals, innocent or not.
They tend to target the innocents more since these felons find it more satisfying to rape, brainwash, and intoxicate the innocent heavily until the innocent is completely empty. As soon as as they’re successful, they turn the captured individuals into drug addicts, whores, and forced laborers, working for gift cards and sexual/party favors.
They will always refuse to leave their targets unless the person gives in and moves to them. Or if the victim gathers any evidence leading to the arrest and shutdown of MDP
To the many different individuals that takes the time to read this, I am taking the time and energy out of my life to warn everyone about a massive data breach that has occurred and that is endangering many lives, including my own at this very point in time.
This type of data breach is the very worst of its kind. Before, the biggest threat was internet crimes, malware, and viruses that may have affected your assets if you were to click the wrong link. Now your actual physical being is at risk by MDP data brokers who are currently funding these criminal networks and are providing illegally purchased records of random individuals around the world.
Now, the MDP criminals today have gone above and beyond the internet and are sending drones with biohacking technologies attachments to random individuals. These weapon attachments magnetizes to specific muscles within the human anatomy of the hijackers choosing. This allows the hijacker to manipulate small muscle tissues within the human body such as rotating an individuals eyes at the hijackers will to keep their victims sleep deprived. They focus on the genitals primarily to exploit the human desire to make love with another individual through the manipulation of their genitals such methods, human traffickers and terrorist organizations are now utilizing these magnetic weapons attached to drones to lock a persons own body up for ransom which could be assets, or force you to sell your body into slavery.
They offer the remote of the victims body, to the victims they use to manipulate certain muscles and veins in the body in exchange for the capture of the victims body.
MDP human traffickers have evolved from footwork to airborne to stay covert. Hiding behind custom biohacking drones ordered online and through various other biohacking black market trades.
“Voices in the head” has been declassified and debunked as electronic biohacking through electromagnets, radiation, drones and neurophones funded and powered by criminal Fusion Centers, MDP who fund radical extremists and terrorists around the world. This was thought out to be a medical condition that is often confused with schizophrenia or another mental illness. But I challenged the theory and discovered that the public has been heavily misinformed.
If a person never had a history with voices in their head that were not of their own voices, and they have proof of their attackers transmitting these frequencies, how could it be a medical condition if the person has evidence of the voices being transmitted directly to his/her skull? So, not only the voices are there, they are also instructing people to either murder, rape, or traffick themselves to one of the many fusion centers, human/sex trafficking homes within undisclosed locations, “ghettos”, and divisions that could be in any closed off homes, (homes with unusually active activities) so they could focus and convert their captives through a series of abuse and ritualistic routines 24/7 everyday.
They force the individual to impregnate one of their paid prostitutes that are doppelgängers to their targets. They do this to raise another human into being another drug addict/trafficker, born and raised into the criminal network so it’ll appear more natural to kill, traffick and brainwash victims.
The MDP pretend to be on the victims side, but they really are not. They all have an illegal drill instructor that only teaches the trafficked “warloot” abuse, rape, and how to torture.

Zach tells some great stories on this one. We talk about Zachs hand, and what happens after a relative passes away. One of favorite episodes and hope you enjoy.
Zach Kagan is a sweet boy from St. Paul, Minnesota. His comedy is a mix of silliness, self-deprecating humor, and another s-word that I can't think of right now. Not that one though. In addition to stand up he hosts a podcast loosely about Magic the Gathering called I Love You, Mana.
Submit Your Questions and stories on Send it Show: https://form.jotform.com/233275884132156
Link to Full Episode: https://youtu.be/9Wh2ohBhs3s
Brendan’s Website: brendangay.komi.io

So here's my situation...
The appartment where I live already has all the appliances, and I'm moving to a new place where I have to buy my own. I'll be moving May 22 and the rent is already paid for the month.
Due to an operational error, the delivery of my refrigerator will be delayed a couple of days, so I messaged the property management explaining the situation, and saying I would keep the keys for a few more days, so I don't have to waste food.
Apparently, they made up something where they say when someone moves, they have to return the keys on the same day and will not have access to the property anymore. I said this is illegal because I paid the rent so it's my right to have access to the property until the end of the month.
They replied saying they will not allow it as they need to prepare the apartment for the new arrival. (I suspect they will try to bill me for some wear and tear but that's another issue).
I said they can do that while I keep my food at the fridge, then I come a few days later to pick it up and give the keys. They replied again saying the fridge will be replaced and I can't keep the food there.
Honestly, I think they already rented the place for someone else and said they could move the day after, and now they don't like that I need the place for a few more days.
I just want to confirm if I have to take any action here, like going to the TAL or something? Like I said, I already paid for the full month, so they can't simply block my access - at least I would want to be reimbursed for the days between 23 ~ 31, but I suspect they won't do that.

The first thing you have to understand is that procrastination isn’t about laziness and rarely about the task we’ve been avoiding.
Simply put, procrastination happens because of the meaning we attach to certain tasks, and because of this hidden meaning, procrastination becomes a strategy to avoid facing something deeper.
For instance, since I launched my book and I have more people paying attention to me, I started procrastinating on posting about certain topics and telling my stories.
Why? … Because I’m afraid of being judged and not being good enough. This evokes my desire to be perfect, which leads to being identified with my productions and being attached to the outcome.
When I was overweight, I’d constantly procrastinate on buying new clothes.
Why? … Because I’d have to look myself in the mirror. I knew my clothes were getting tighter and I didn’t want to buy a bigger number of pants. I was avoiding facing I wasn’t taking good care of myself.
Recently, I lost my credit card and to get a new one was very simple. All I had to do was make a phone call, but I avoided it for weeks.
Why? … Because the call had to be done in Spanish, and I don’t feel very confident speaking Spanish yet.
This makes me feel insecure, because I feel like my Spanish should be way better now that I’m living in Argentina. Of course, this is all in my head, the truth is that I can already hold conversions in Spanish, but I’m judging myself too harshly.
Do you see? … Procrastination is just a symptom of something deeper.
It’s about the meaning and heaviness we attach to certain tasks and while this is unconscious, they feel much bigger than they actually are. In fact, even using the word “procrastination” detracts us from the real experience as it’s a way to avoid uncovering the real truth.
People believe that just because they know a word they know everything there is to know about something. The truth is that using terms provides an illusory sense of control because now “we know what the thing is”.
However, we have to look for the secret reason behind procrastination, just like the examples I gave you. I wasn’t “procrastinating”, I didn’t want to feel rejected or judged.
When we unwrap the real reason, it becomes conscious and we can finally do something about it. It’s no longer this invisible master of puppets making us feel ashamed and guilty for constantly postponing certain tasks.
The Root Cause of Procrastination
During my practice as a therapist, I understood that procrastination is a very common symptom in people under the influence of a mother or father complex, and this took things to a whole new level.
In very simple terms, these are people who don’t want to grow up and take any responsibility for their lives. Some people know that as the Peter Pan syndrome, but nowadays people call it the man-child or the woman-child. in Jungian Psychology, we call it the Puer and Puella Aeternus.
When I realized that, I understood that the problem of procrastination is something much deeper, it’s not about postponing daily tasks, It’s about postponing growing up and fully living life. New studies are showing that adolescence is extending to 30 years old and people are doing everything they can to remain childish.
Why? … Because this is the easy way out, while you’re childish you don’t have to take responsibility for anything and you can always blame your parents, your family, and society.
All of this passivity and lack of responsibility leads to people feeling lost and having no sense of purpose and direction. This obviously leads to massive amounts of anxiety and depression. Procrastination is just a symptom of something deeper and that’s why simply giving you a list of habits won’t solve it, we have to address the root cause first.
We have to talk about our attitude towards life and what lies underneath procrastination:
For some it’s the fear of becoming independent, truly growing up, and making their own decisions.
Others feel like they’re not good enough to do what they truly desire.
Others procrastinate to avoid disappointing their families or partners.
Others procrastinate because they don’t have the right motivation,
they’re just trying to please someone else. On a deeper, level, they’re living their entire lives with someone else’s map.
Others procrastinate because they lack self-esteem and don’t feel like they deserve to accomplish anything.
Others procrastinate because they’re afraid they’ll be rejected if they put themselves out there.
While others procrastinate because they’re afraid of failure.
The First Thing
If you’re under the influence of a mother and father complex, the first thing you have to realize is that there’s a part of you that wants to remain a child and sabotages all your attempts to become independent and accomplish your goals. This part is also very clever, as it’s a master in creating the perfect excuses to avoid doing all the tasks you have to do.
Now, I know that many people were dealt a bad hand, I had to deal with CPTSD and severe derealization. However, the first thing that ought to be done is to emotionally and psychologically separate yourself from your parents. Until you do so, you’ll never be your own person and you’ll be forever doomed to repeat their stories.
Simply put, psychologically speaking, being under the influence of the parents entails that you unconsciously adopt their worldview, beliefs, fears, and all of their patterns around work, money, relationships, and life in general.
I won’t go into full detail here because I already wrote extensively about it in my Conquer The Puer and Puella Aeternus Series, I’ll focus on expanding these ideas and how they apply specifically to procrastination.
What I’d like to add is that you won’t be able to carve your own path if you don’t take the responsibility upon you to craft your own values and create your unique sense of meaning.
These answers won’t come from anyone else but you, and if you don’t actively engage in this process, you’ll operate with goals and a belief system that have nothing to do with your personality and authentic desires. You’ll be trying to please others and fulfill their expectations instead of following your soul. That’s what most people choose to do and that’s also why they lead meaningless lives.
Just a quick note here, when I say that people have to emotionally separate from their parents some people tend to assume this is a bad thing. But this is not about cutting ties with your family and shutting them off, this is about becoming your own person, it’s about developing your own personality, beliefs, and values.
It’s about becoming independent and letting go of the need for their approval. It’s about individuation, which means carving your own path. In some cases, this will require keeping a certain distance from the family while for others this might not be necessary, you have to discern what’s your scenario and not use your family as an excuse.
Comfort – A Poisonous Drug
Being under the influence of the parental complex means that you either live a life trying to fulfill their expectations or trying to prove them wrong, in this second case, you do everything they wouldn’t approve. Either way, it’s not a conscious decision because everything is done in reaction to the parents, it’s not an expression of your individuality.
Taking things into a procrastination context, the quickest way to realize if you’re under the influence of a negative mother complex is if you’re constantly seeking COMFORT.
In other words, you’re procrastinating because you HAVE the perfect
conditions.
I know, a bit of a mind fuck…
The problem is that you got used to your current level of comfort and this keeps you stuck. Comfort is one of the most powerful drugs that exists. I love it when I can just brew myself a great cup of coffee and simply stare into the void. I just want to do nothing and pretend that I don’t have any adult responsibilities for a while, lol.
The problem is that people usually fall in love with this “pretending” and it quickly becomes an escapism. Whenever there’s a situation demanding growth, instead of facing it head-on, they choose the easy way out.
When you do that, you also open the door to a mediocre life. This mediocre spirit whispers in your ear, “It’s ok to eat that extra cookie”. “It’s ok to spend all of your time doom scrolling or watching adult videos”.
Quickly, it converts into a master of puppets keeping you hostage of your own “comfort”. The mindset “If I just had the perfect conditions I could start”, perfectly encapsulates it. There’s always one more book you have to read, there’s always one more thing you have to buy, the list never ends!
The first thing you have to realize is that comfort is subjective. You might not think that your current life is objectively comfortable, yet, you got used to it. Worse, you keep lying to yourself saying that everything is ok.
Avoiding making a decision doesn’t make things magically disappear, it just makes the imaginary monster bigger.
Until you admit to yourself that things must change, I’m sorry to tell you, but you’ll just keep wasting your life. This “comfort” is poisonous and will corrode your health, relationships, and all your potential to live a great life.
Now, looking on the bright side.
Once you understand that you’ve been lying to yourself, you also realize that you had the perfect conditions to start all along. Let’s be serious, if you’re reading this right now, I’m sure you have all you need to start whatever you want to do.
Instead of choosing comfort every time, you have to learn how to intelligently apply friction to yourself and we’re gonna explore that in future articles.
I’d like to end with this quoting Kant – “You’re only free when you choose to do what you don’t want to do”.
Many people have this childish idea that if they form a lot of habits they’ll stop having fun and life will become boring, but it’s exactly the other way around. If you don’t develop discipline, your destructive desires will continue to ruin your life.
It’s not fun having bad financial habits and never knowing if you’ll have enough money. It’s not fun not being able to control what we eat, constantly put on weight and feel disgusting when we look in the mirror.
It’s not fun not being able to accomplish our tasks and feel guilty, ashamed, and like a failure. Not only that, when you don’t have good habits you waste a lot of time in meaningless tasks, such as thinking about what you’re gonna eat or wear.
However, when we form good habits everything becomes automatic and we don’t have to think about it anymore, it becomes effortless and this frees a lot of mental energy. We stop being worried about meaningless stuff and we can apply this energy to deep thinking and creativity.
Having good habits and deciding exactly how we’ll spend our time, resources, and energy is extremely powerful and brings immense freedom. It’s time to stop being a slave of your illusory comfort. You’re not lost, you’re afraid of responsibility and carving your own path.
Here’s a deep dive into the mother and father complex – Conquer The Puer and Puella Aeternus
Rafael Krüger – Jungian Therapist

I recently tried using the obsidian docker and it worked well when I hadn't installed any plugins, but now with full plugins installed as soon as I start the obsidian container, the thing eats up about 3GB of RAM, and the my server device crashes.
Has anyone faced this issue, or how do you operate this thing ?

I've been playing with the dubbing in English, Korean, German and Brazilian Portuguese.
I don't know Korean, but I can get an idea from the voice acting. It looks quite good.
But I know German, English and Portuguese and it's fun to compare.
You probably already know the English dubbing. It is mostly OK, except for Adam who is a bit flat; it almost feels like he is just reading the script.
The Brazilian Portuguese dubbing though is comically unserious. It's very informal and full of slangs. It's not as informal as the expression "you is" in English, but it's in that direction.
Adam in German is good, but I think the German language is better overall for the game. The game is in a military operation, with many serious and technical moments (at least in the voice acting). EVE herself is formal and objective most of the time and the more complex structure of German suits her. I think even Lily gets a better range of playfulness and seriousness in German,
I will check the portuguese Portuguese, but for now the German dubbing is my favorite. Have you seen any different voice acting in other languages?

I need some help on figuring out a best way to do something in Spark/PySpark. If this isn't the correct forum, can you please point me in the right direction.
I have a dataframe with a column of notice ids and a column of file names as strings. Within each notice id group I want to do a fuzzy search that compares each file name against every other filename and then grab the best matches for each filename. This is effectively a cross-join within each group - i.e. files associated with notice id #1 are cross-joined with the files associate with notice id #1.
The best way that I can find to perform this cross-join is to do a `groupBy` and then `applyInPandas` because (1) this will apply the cross-join separately for each notice id group and (2) both my input and output are dataframes but not exactly the same dataframe because the function I want to apply to each group will remove rows in the result. This has the advantage of only cross-joining things that go together. However, converting to a Pandas df is slow and I'm running into memory issues.
Is there a better way to think about performing the operations of applying the same set of transformations to each group when you need the full group to complete the transformation - i.e. train and apply a clustering model on each group individually?
P.S. using windowing functions has occurred to me, but I want to operate on the whole group/sub-section of the df rather than row by row.

Here’s a fun one - so last episode we got to see Stussy in full form. We also got to see her eyes, which resemble those of Mihawk and Imu. It’s been theorized that these kinds of eyes belong to immortal characters that we know nothing about. BUT we do know that Stussy is a clone. Perhaps Imu and Mihawk are also clones of ‘perfect’ beings - possibly made 800 years ago in the advanced civilization by a person similar to Vegapunk?

Note:

• All keys are primarily from US/NA region
• My list maybe slightly outdated so I apologize in advance if some of the games mentioned are already traded/Sold.
• I accept XBOX keys as well.
• I accept paypal only via goods and services so all transactions will include fees.
• My Wishlist, I am just interested in these games and mentioned in wants below.

HAVE

• .hack//G.U. Last Recode
• 10 Second Ninja X
• 112 operator
• 198X x 2
• 8 doors
• 9 Years of Shadows
• 911 Operator x 2
• A Fisherman's Tale
• A Juggler's Tale
• A Little Golf Journey
• A Sceptic's Guide to Magic
• A Tale of Paper: Refolded Edition
• A.I.M. Clan Wars
• Aces and Adventures x 1
• Aegis Defenders x 3
• Ageless x 3
• Alekhine's Gun
• Alien Spidy
• Alwa's Awakening
• Amanda the Adventurer
• American Fugitive x 3
• Amnesia: The Dark Descent + Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs
• Amnesia: Rebirth x 2
• Anna's Quest x 2
• Anuchard
• Arcade Paradise
• Arcade Paradise - Arcade Paradise EP x 2
• Arcade Spirits
• Arto
• As Far As The Eye
• Astalon: Tears of the Earth
• AtmaSphere
• Attack of the Earthlings
• Automachef x 3
• Automobilista
• Autonauts vs Piratebots x 3
• Axiom Verge
• Axiom Verge 2
• Back 4 Blood - STRICT NA REGION LOCK x 2
• Ballpoint Universe - Infinite
• Bartlow's Dread Machine
• Batman: Arkham Asylum GOTY Edition
• Batman: Arkham City GOTY
• Batman: Arkham Knight Premium Edition
• Batman: Arkham Origins
• Battlestar Galactica Deadlock
• Bayonetta
• Beacon Pines x 2
• Before We leave
• Behind the Frame: The Finest Scenery
• Beholder 2
• Bendy and the Dark Revival x 2
• Between the stars x 4
• Beyond the wire x 2
• Big Crown Showdown
• Bionic Commando x 2
• Blade Assault
• Blasphemous
• Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night x 3
• Book of Demons x 3
• Boomerang Fu
• Borderlands 2 Game of the Year x 2
• Boreal Blade x 3
• Boundless
• Bravery and Greed
• Broken Age
• Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
• Builder Simulator x 1
• Bunker Punks
• Butcher
• CAPITALISM 2
• CHESS ULTRA
• CODE VEIN
• CROSSBOW: Bloodnight x 2
• Call of Juarez Gunslinger
• Canyon Capers
• Capitalism 2
• Car Mechanic Simulator 2018
• Car Mechanic Simulator VR
• Cardaclysm
• Carnival Games VR
• Caveman World: Mountains of Unga Boonga
• Celeste
• Charlie's Adventure
• Chicken Assassin Reloaded
• Children of Silentown x 2
• Chivalry 2 x 2
• Chivalry: Medieval Warfare x 2
• Citizen Sleeper
• CivCity: Rome x 3
• Civilization III x 2
• Clutch
• Cobra Kai: The Karate Kid Saga Continues
• Conan Exiles
• Convoy
• Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3
• Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!
• Cook-Out
• Cookie Cutter
• Cosmic Star Heroine
• Crash Drive 3
• Crazy Machines 3
• Crown Trick
• Cultures - 8th Wonder of the world
• Cursed Castilla (Maldita Castilla Ex)
• Cyber Hook x 2
• DISTRAINT 2 x 2
• DOOM Eternal DELUXE EDITION
• DUCATI - 90th Anniversary
• Dagon: by H. P. Lovecraft - The Eldritch Box DLC x 2
• Danger Scavenger
• Dangerous Worlds x 2
• Dark Future: Blood Red States
• Darksburg x 2
• Darkwood
• Dead Age
• Dead In Vinland x 2
• Death's Gambit: Afterlife
• Deleveled x 2
• Demon Pit
• Deponia: The Complete Journey x 2
• Derange
• Desert Child
• Desolate x 2
• Destroy All Humans! 2 - Reprobed x 2
• Deus Ex: Mankind Divided - Digital Deluxe Edition
• DiRT Rally
• DiRT Rally 2.0 - H2 RWD Double Pack
• DiRT Rally 2.0 - Opel Manta 400
• Dirt Rally 2.0 - Porsche 911 RGT Rally Spec
• Dirt Rally x 2
• Disco Elysium - The Final Cut
• Disjunction - gog
• Do Not Feed the Monkeys
• Dracula: Love Kills
• Drake Hollow x 2
• Draw Slasher x 2
• Drawful 2 x 2
• Dreams in the Witch House x 2
• Dreamscaper x 2
• Driftland: The Magic Revival x 5
• Ducati - 90th Anniversary
• Due Process x 3
• Duke Nukem Forever collection x 4
• Dust to the End
• Dying Light Definitive Edition
• ELEX II x 4
• ETHERBORN
• Eador. Imperium
• Earth 2140
• Earth Defence Force 4.1 + all dlc
• Earth Defence Force: Iron Rain
• EarthX
• Edge Of Eternity x 3
• El Matador
• Elderand
• Eldest Souls
• Ember
• Enclave (Gold) x 2
• Encodya - GOG x 2
• Endless Space 2 x 2
• Endzone - A World apart
• Enslaved™: Odyssey To The West™ Premium Edition
• Eternal Threads x 4
• Eternity: The Last Unicorn
• Evergarden x 2
• Evoland Legendary Edition x 2
• Exiled Kingdoms x 2
• Expeditions: Rome x 2
• Expeditions: Viking
• F1 2017 1988 McLAREN MP4/4 Classic Car DLC
• FAR: Lone Sails x 2
• Family Man x 3
• Fantasy Blacksmith
• Fantasy Versus
• Farmer's dynasty x 2
• Fated Souls 3
• Fear Effect Sedna
• Fictorum
• Field of Glory II x 2
• Field of Glory: Empires
• Figement
• Final Fantasy III (3D Remake)
• Five Dates x 2
• Fling to the Finish
• Fobia - St. Dinfna Hotel x 2
• For The King
• Foretales x 1
• Four Sided Fantasy
• Friends vs Friends x 4
• Frog Detective 2: The Case Of The Invisible Wizard x 3
• Frogun
• From Space x 3
• Fun With Ragdolls: The Game x 2
• Fun with Ragdolls: The Game
• Fury Unleashed x 5
• GOD EATER 3 x 2
• GRID Autosport - Premium Garage Pack DLC
• GRID Autosport - Road & Track Car Pack DLC
• GRIP: Combat Racing Artifex DLC x 3
• GameGuru x 2
• GameMaker Studio 2 Creator 12 Months x 2
• Garage: bad trip
• Garfield Kart
• Garfield Kart - Furious Racing
• Gauntlet
• GemCraft - Chasing Shadows
• Genesis Alpha One Deluxe Edition x 3
• Ghost Of A Tale
• Ghost Song
• Gift of Parthax
• Glitch Busters x 2
• Gloria Victis x 2
• Gnog
• Go Home Dinosaurs x 2
• Gold Rush! Classic
• Golden Light x 3
• Golf Club Wasteland
• Gotham Knights
• Gothic 3
• Grand Mountain Adventure
• Green Hell (Region locked)
• Guts and Glory
• Guts and glory
• Hardspace: Shipbreaker x 3
• Have a nice Death
• Headsnatchers x 2
• Heal
• Heavy Burger
• Heli Heroes
• Helion
• Hell Pie
• Hell let loose
• Hellpoint x 2
• Hero's Hour (NA Region) x 3
• Hexologic
• Hi-Fi RUSH
• Hidden & Dangerous 2: Courage Under Fire x 3
• Hidden & Dangerous: Action Pack x 2
• Hiveswap Friendsim x 2
• Hiveswap: Act 1
• Homefront
• Homestead Arcana x 2
• Honey, I Joined a Cult x 2
• Horizon Chase Turbo x 2
• Hot Brass x 2
• Hot Wheels Unleashed
• Hotshot Racing x 3
• Hue x 2
• Hyperdrive Massacre
• I Expect You To Die
• Ice Age: Scrat's Nutty Adventure
• Ikenfell x 3
• Imperator: Rome Deluxe Edition x 2
• In sound mind x 2
• Indivisible x 5
• Injustice 2 Legendary Edition
• Insurmountable
• Interplanetary: Enhanced Edition
• Interstellar Space: Genesis
• Introvert Quest
• Iratus: Lord of the Dead
• Iris And The Giant
• Iron Danger
• Iron Sky Invasion
• Jack Move
• Jack Orlando: Director's Cut
• Journey of Greed
• Journey of a Roach x 2
• JumpJet Rex
• Jurassic Park Classic Games Collection
• Just Cause 4 Complete Edition
• Karma City Police
• Kerbal Space Program
• King Of The Castle
• King's Bounty: Warriors of the North
• Kingdom: Classic
• Kingdom: New Lands x 2
• Kings of Kung Fu
• Kitaria Fables
• Knights and Merchants
• Koa and the Five Pirates of Mara
• Kraken Academy!!
• Kyle is Famous: Complete Edition
• LEGO Batman 3: Beyond Gotham
• LEGO Marvel Super Heroes
• LEGO® MARVEL's Avengers
• Last Inua
• Lawn Mowing Simulator x 2
• Layers of Fear + Soundtrack
• Leisure Suit Larry - Wet Dreams Don't Dry
• Leisure Suit Larry - Wet Dreams Dry Twice
• Levelhead
• Liberated
• Liberated GOG x 2
• Liberte
• Lichdom: Battlemage
• Life is Strange 2 Complete Season (incl. Mascot Bundle DLC)
• Life is Strange: True Colors x 2
• Little Orpheus
• Loddlenaut
• Lords and Villeins x 3
• Lostwinds
• Lovecraft's Untold Stories x 3
• Lust for Darkness
• MO:Astray
• Mad Max
• Magrunner: Dark Pulse
• Main Assembly
• Majesty 2 Collection x 2
• Making History: The Calm and the Storm Gold Edition
• Marvel's Midnight Suns Digital+ Edition + Doctor Strange Defenders Skin
• Mass Effect 2 Origin key
• Medieval Kingdom Wars
• Mediterranea Inferno
• Meeple Station x 2
• Mega Man Legacy Collection
• Memoria + Soundtrack
• Men of War
• Merchant of the Skies x 2
• Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Game of the Year Edition x 2
• Middle-earth: Shadow of War Definitive Edition x 2
• Midnight Fight Express
• Midnight Ghost Hunt
• Midnight protocol x 2
• Milky Way Prince - The Vampire Star x 2
• Monaco
• Monorail Stories
• Monster Crown x 3
• Monster Prom 2: Monster Camp x 2
• Monster Slayers
• Monster Slayers - Advanced Classes Unlocker
• Monster Slayers - Fire & Steel Expansion
• Morbid: The Seven Acolytes x 2
• Morkredd x 3
• Mortal Kombat 11 Ultimate Edition x 2
• Mortal Kombat XL x 2
• Moving Out
• Mr. Prepper x 2
• Munin
• Murder by Numbers
• My Big Sister x 2
• My Time At Portia
• Mystery Castle: The Mirror's Secret
• Mytheon
• Mythforce
• Narita Boy
• Nebuchadnezzar
• NecroVisioN: Lost Company
• NecroWorm x 2
• Neoverse x 3
• Neverout x 2
• Neversong
• Nickelodeon all-star brawl x 2
• Niffelheim x 2
• Nigate Tale
• Nioh 2
• Nobody Saves the World
• Noosphere
• Northend Tower Defense
• Nowhere Prophet
• Nuclear DAWN
• OTXO
• Oaken x 2
• Oddworld: Soulstorm Enhanced Edition x 2
• Of Orcs and Men
• Oh My Gore! x 3
• Omensight Definitve Edition x 2
• Operation Tango x 2
• Orbital Racer x 2
• Othercide
• Out Of Space
• Out of Reach: Treasure Royale x 2
• Overcooked
• Overlord: Ultimate Evil Collection
• Ozymandias - NA region x 2
• PAC-MAN 256
• PAC-MAN MUSEUM+ x 2
• PC Building Simulator x 2
• PGA Tour 2K21 x 2
• PULSAR: Lost Colony x 2
• Partisans 1941 x 2
• Patch Quest x 3
• Path Of Giants
• Pathfinder: Kingmaker - Royal Ascension
• Pathfinder: Kingmaker - Wild Cards
• Pathfinder: Kingmaker Enhanced Plus Edition
• Paw paw paw x 4
• Peaky Blinders: Mastermind x 2
• Perfect x 2
• Pesterquest x 4
• Phantom Doctrine x 2
• Pikuniku
• Pine
• Pitiri 1977
• Pixel Puzzles: UndeadZ
• Pixplode x 2
• Planet Alcatraz
• Plants vs. Zombies: Battle for Neighborville (ORIGIN KEY)
• PlataGO!
• Police stories
• Popup Dungeon
• Port Royale 3
• Prison Architect + Aficionado (Dlc)
• Prodeus
• Propnight
• Purrfect Date
• Quern: Undying thoughts
• RAD x 2
• REPLIKATOR
• RICO: London
• RIOT - Civil Unrest
• RPG Maker VX
• Rage in Peace
• Railroad Tycoon 2: Platinum x 3
• Railroad Tycoon 3 x 3
• Railway Empire
• Rainbow Billy: The Curse of the Leviathan x 2
• Re-Legion
• Rebel Galaxy Outlaw
• Rebel Inc: Escalation x 3
• Red Wings: Aces of the Sky
• Redeemer: Enhanced Edition x 2
• Relicta x 3
• Remnants of Naezith x 2
• Remothered: Broken Porcelain
• Renfield: Bring Your Own Blood x 2
• Rescue Party: Live! x 2
• Resident Evil HD REMASTER
• Resident Evil Revelations 2 - Episode 1: Penal Colony x 2
• Resident Evil Revelations x 2
• Retimed x 3
• Reventure
• Revita
• Rig n Roll
• Ring of pain x 4
• Rise Of Industry x 3
• Rise of the Slime x 2
• Roadwarden
• Roarr! Jurassic Edition x 2
• Roboquest
• Rogue Lords x 2
• Roguebook
• RollerCoaster Tycoon Classic
• Rollerdrome NA region
• Romancing SaGa -Minstrel Song- Remastered
• Rover Mechanic Simulator x 3
• Rustler x 4
• SCP : Secret Files x 3
• SPACECOM
• SPRAWL x 2
• STONE x 2
• SUPERHOT VR
• SYSTEM SHOCK: ENHANCED EDITION
• Sairento VR
• Satellite Reign
• Saturday Morning RPG
• Save Room - Organization Puzzle
• Say No! More
• Scheming Through The Zombie Apocalypse: The Beginning x 2
• Scorn x 2
• ScourgeBringer
• Seed Hunter x 2
• Shadow Tactics: Blades of the Shogun - Aiko's Choice
• Shadowhand: RPG Card Game
• Shady Part of Me x 2
• Shantae and the Pirate's Curse
• Shark Attack Deathmatch 2
• Shing! x 2
• Shining Resonance Refrain x 2
• Ship Simulator Extremes x 2
• Shooting Stars! x 2
• Shooty Fruity
• Shoppe Keep 2
• Shotgun King: The Final Checkmate - NA region x 2
• Sid Meier's Railroads! x 3
• Sifu Deluxe Edition Upgrade Bundle x 2
• Silver Chains
• Simple Rockets 2
• Simplerockets 2 x 2
• Simulacra + Simulacra 2
• Sin Slayers
• Size Matters x 3
• Skullgirls 2nd Encore
• Slain: Back from Hell
• Slinger VR x 2
• Snake Pass
• Sniper Ghost Warrior Contracts x 2
• Snowtopia x 2
• Songbird Symphony
• Songbringer
• Sonic Adventure 2: Battle Mode DLC x 2
• Sonic Adventure™ 2 x 2
• Sorry, James
• Soul Axiom Rebooted x 2
• Soulblight x 2
• Souldiers
• Space Cows
• Space Hulk Ascension
• Sparklite
• Speed Brawl x 2
• Spirit Of The Island x 3
• Splasher
• Star Wolves
• Star Wolves 3: Civil War
• Stars End
• Starsand x 2
• Staxel
• Stealth 2: A Game Of Clones
• Steel Rats x 2
• Steelrising
• Still There x 3
• Strange Brigade x 2
• Street Fighter 30th Anniversary Collection
• Street Fighter V
• Strider x 2
• Struggling x 2
• Stubbs The Zombie In Rebel Without A Pulse
• Sunblaze
• Super Magbot
• Super Meat Boy x 2
• Super Panda Adventures
• Super Trench Attack!
• Supraland x 2
• Supreme Ruler 1936
• Supreme Ruler: Cold War
• SurrounDead x 2
• TEKKEN 7 x 2
• THE HEX
• THEM'S FIGHTIN' HERDS
• Tabletop Playground x 3
• Tales of Vesperia: Definitive Edition
• Tango Fiesta
• Tannenberg
• Telefrag VR x 2
• Tesla vs Lovecraft
• The Amazing American Circus x 2
• The Ambassador: Fractured Timelines
• The Ascent
• The Assembly
• The Bard's Tale IV: Director's Cut x 3
• The Beast Inside x 3
• The Big Con x 2
• The Blackout Club
• The Coma 2: Vicious Sisters x 2
• The Curious Tale of the Stolen Pets
• The Dark Pictures Anthology: House of Ashes
• The Darkness II x 2
• The Deed Dynasty
• The Deed II
• The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind x 2
• The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion x 2
• The Elder Scrolls Online
• The Excavation of Hob's Barrow
• The Golf Club 2019 Featuring PGA TOUR x 3
• The Gunk x 2
• The Haunted Island, A Frog Detective Game x 3
• The Henry Stickmin Collection x 2
• The Hong Kong Massacre
• The Invisible Hand x 2
• The Knight Witch
• The LEGO Movie - Videogame
• The LEGO NINJAGO Movie Video Game
• The Legend of Tianding x 2
• The Life and Suffering of Sir Brante
• The Long Reach
• The Mummy Demastered
• The Pale Beyond
• The Quarry - Deluxe Edition x 2
• The Red Lantern
• The Red Solstice x 2
• The Shapeshifting Detective
• The Surge
• The Survivalists
• The Swords Of Ditto: Mormo's Curse x 2
• The Textorcist: The story of Ray Bibbia x 3
• The Town of Light
• The USB Stick Found in the Grass x 2
• The Uncertain - The Last Quiet Day
• The Walking Dead
• The Walking Dead: 400 Days
• The Walking Dead: A New Frontier x 2
• The Walking Dead: Michonne x 2
• The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners - Chapter 2: Retribution
• The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners x 4
• The Walking Dead: Season Two
• The Walking Dead: The Final Season x 2
• The Wild Eight
• The Wizards - Dark Times
• Them and Us
• Them's Fightin' Herds
• There Is No Light
• Thief of Thieves: Season One x 2
• This Strange Realm Of Mine
• This War of Mine: Stories - Season Pass DLC
• Throne Of Lies® The Online Game Of Deceit
• Through The Darkest Of Times x 3
• Tilt Brush x 2
• Timelie
• Tin Can x 2
• Toejam & Earl: Back in the Groove x 2
• Tohu x 3
• Tools Up!
• Tools up x 2
• Tooth and Tail
• Torchlight
• Torchlight III
• Total Tank Simulator x 2
• Townscaper
• Townsmen - A Kingdom Rebuilt x 2
• Toy tinker Simulator
• Toybox Turbos x 2
• Train Station Renovation x 2
• Treasure Hunter Simulator x 3
• Trek to Yomi
• Tropico 4
• Truberbrook / Trüberbrook
• Truck Racer
• Tumblestone
• Turbo Golf Racing x 4
• Two Point Campus
• Tyrant's Blessing
• UNDETECTED
• UnMetal
• Undungeon
• Unexplored
• Unto The End
• V-Rally 4
• Vagante
• Vagrant Hearts 2
• Valfaris: Mecha Therion
• Vampire: The Masquerade - Shadows Of New York x 3
• Vane x 3
• Verdun
• Victoria 3
• Vikings - Wolves of Midgard
• WARSAW x 5
• WWE 2K BATTLEGROUNDS + Ultimate Brawlers Pass x 4
• WWE 2K23 x 5
• WWE 2k Battlegrounds
• Wanderlust: Travel Stories - GOG key x 2
• Wandersong x 2
• Wargroove x 2
• Warhammer 40,000: Chaos Gate - Daemonhunters x 2
• Warhammer 40,000: Mechanicus
• Warhammer 40,000: Sanctus Reach
• Warhammer: Chaosbane x 2
• Wayward Souls
• We Are Alright x 2
• Werewolf: The Apocalypse Heart Of The Forest
• West of Dead
• Where the Water Tastes Like Wine
• Whispering Willows
• White Day: A Labyrinth Named School x 2
• Who Pressed Mute on Uncle Marcus? x 3
• Wick
• Windjammers 2
• Windscape
• Wordle 1-5 Quintology Pack
• World's Dawn x 2
• Worms Clan Wars
• Worms rumble + legends pack dlc x 3
• WrestleQuest
• X-COM: Complete Pack x 3
• X-Morph: Defense + European Assault, Survival of the Fittest, and Last Bastion DLC x 2
• X-Morph Defense x 3
• Xcom® 2: Resistance Warrior Pack
• Yakuza: Like a Dragon
• Yet Another Zombie Defense HD x 2
• Yoku's Island Express
• Yooka-Laylee and the Impossible Lair
• Youtubers Life 2
• Zanzarah: The Hidden Portal
• Zombie Army 4: Dead War
• Zombotron

WANT

• Trepang2
• The Pedestrian
• OPUS: Echo of Starsong - Full Bloom Edition

Mainly looking for PayPal (accepting most of the currencies, fees may slightly differ)
MY REP Wishlist
Gems
TF2 keys/ CS2 Cases

Appreciate in advance any help this community can offer!
I bought a new Samsung 870 EVO 2.5" form factor SSD. I bought this to be able to upgrade a laptop to run a node validator. Have had it for more than 1 year and in all other manners it operates perfectly fine (OS install and normal operations etc), BUT, this thing cannot reliably synchronize and validate a blockchain. It spits out a fatal error either during the initial download/sync (blockchain is currently about 650GB and takes around 2 days to DL), or if it manages to pull the initial sync down, it will then run the node validating software in a stable way for anywhere from a few days to a week, and then it will randomly give me the same fatal error.
The debug log pasted below shows the failure and hints at a hardware failure. This problem occurs regardless of which version of node validating software I'm running. It also happens regardless of which OS I run. I get the same problem when I run it on Linux or windows. I've also tried it with node software packages like Umbrel and Start9, and it's the same problem - the OS (windows, linux, umbrel, Start9) will install just fine, but the failure happens during the sync of the initial blockchain download, or at some point after the full blockchain has completed its initial DL/sync and while syncing and validating blocks during normal operations. Each time, I've taken out the SSD and run all disktools and done full formats of the drive to try to find any corrupt blocks - but it never has any issues.
I'm pretty sure this is isolated to a bad drive, but how can I tell?
*** Corrupt block found indicating potential hardware failure; shutting down
Error: A fatal internal error occurred, see debug.log for details
ERROR: ConnectTip: ConnectBlock 00000000000000000155c45fb19c96993855e929ad6b0d0cb29bdf549e05fd54 failed, bad-txnmrklroot, hashMerkleRoot mismatch
ERROR: ProcessNewBlock: ActivateBestChain failed (bad-txnmrklroot, hashMerkleRoot mismatch)
tor: Thread interrupt
opencon thread exit
addcon thread exit
Shutdown: In progress...
torcontrol thread exit
net thread exit
msghand thread exit
DumpAnchors: Flush 0 outbound block-relay-only peer addresses to anchors.dat started
DumpAnchors: Flush 0 outbound block-relay-only peer addresses to anchors.dat completed (0.00s)
scheduler thread exit
Writing 0 unbroadcast transactions to disk.
Dumped mempool: 0.000s to copy, 0.003s to dump
Flushed fee estimates to fee_estimates.dat.
Shutdown: done

Note:

• All keys are primarily from US/NA region
• My list maybe slightly outdated so I apologize in advance if some of the games mentioned are already traded/Sold.
• I accept XBOX keys as well.
• I accept paypal only via goods and services so all transactions will include fees.
• My Wishlist, I am just interested in these games and mentioned in wants below.

HAVE

• .hack//G.U. Last Recode
• 10 Second Ninja X
• 112 operator
• 198X x 2
• 8 doors
• 9 Years of Shadows
• 911 Operator x 2
• A Fisherman's Tale
• A Juggler's Tale
• A Little Golf Journey
• A Sceptic's Guide to Magic
• A Tale of Paper: Refolded Edition
• A.I.M. Clan Wars
• Aces and Adventures x 1
• Aegis Defenders x 3
• Ageless x 3
• Alekhine's Gun
• Alien Spidy
• Alwa's Awakening
• Amanda the Adventurer
• American Fugitive x 3
• Amnesia: The Dark Descent + Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs
• Amnesia: Rebirth x 2
• Anna's Quest x 2
• Anuchard
• Arcade Paradise
• Arcade Paradise - Arcade Paradise EP x 2
• Arcade Spirits
• Arto
• As Far As The Eye
• Astalon: Tears of the Earth
• AtmaSphere
• Attack of the Earthlings
• Automachef x 3
• Automobilista
• Autonauts vs Piratebots x 3
• Axiom Verge
• Axiom Verge 2
• Back 4 Blood - STRICT NA REGION LOCK x 2
• Ballpoint Universe - Infinite
• Bartlow's Dread Machine
• Batman: Arkham Asylum GOTY Edition
• Batman: Arkham City GOTY
• Batman: Arkham Knight Premium Edition
• Batman: Arkham Origins
• Battlestar Galactica Deadlock
• Bayonetta
• Beacon Pines x 2
• Before We leave
• Behind the Frame: The Finest Scenery
• Beholder 2
• Bendy and the Dark Revival x 2
• Between the stars x 4
• Beyond the wire x 2
• Big Crown Showdown
• Bionic Commando x 2
• Blade Assault
• Blasphemous
• Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night x 3
• Book of Demons x 3
• Boomerang Fu
• Borderlands 2 Game of the Year x 2
• Boreal Blade x 3
• Boundless
• Bravery and Greed
• Broken Age
• Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
• Builder Simulator x 1
• Bunker Punks
• Butcher
• CAPITALISM 2
• CHESS ULTRA
• CODE VEIN
• CROSSBOW: Bloodnight x 2
• Call of Juarez Gunslinger
• Canyon Capers
• Capitalism 2
• Car Mechanic Simulator 2018
• Car Mechanic Simulator VR
• Cardaclysm
• Carnival Games VR
• Caveman World: Mountains of Unga Boonga
• Celeste
• Charlie's Adventure
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WANT

• Trepang2
• The Pedestrian
• OPUS: Echo of Starsong - Full Bloom Edition

Mainly looking for PayPal (accepting most of the currencies, fees may slightly differ)
MY REP Wishlist MY IGS REP
Gems
TF2 keys/ CS2 Cases

One year review: 9/10, would do it again.
Caveat emptor: I’m mid-30s. I have a liberal family and live in one of the good countries. I passed 50-50 before T, I had PCOS and I’m pretty sure there was something else going on with my hormones. So take this with a grain of salt and YMMV as always.
The good: - I got top surgery before starting T and started passing as a teenage boy from day one post-op. By now, I pass as my age as much as I ever did pre-T (I looked like 25 pre-T and look like 25 now). - I can grow a full beard. It’s still a bit see-through on my cheeks, but I’ve been wearing it short for a few months already. I think it will probably be full enough to grow out in maybe 6 more months if it carries on like it has. - Stomach is covered in fur. Chest hair is coming in. Leg and arm hair is disappointing. - I was X-shaped pre-T (shoulders and hips equally wide). My shoulders and back blew out and fat redistribution slimmed my hips, even though I haven’t been exercising much because of health issues. I went marginally Y shaped in under 3 months and am now at a point where the Y is quite pronounced. Clothes fit like they’re supposed to now (shirts and jackets used to be 1-2” too long and a tad too tight around the hips, but no more; pants are still 1-2” too long lol). Even if I got no further fat redistribution, I’d be satisfied with what I’ve got. - I grew about 1 cm (measurable, not noticeable), 1 shirt size, 1.5-2 shoe sizes, 1 glove size, and couple of links to my watch wristband. I’m now a very averagely sized dude, if a bit vertically challenged. - I got facial changes quite quickly too, but it took almost the entire year until I started seeing myself in the mirror. I’m starting to look almost exactly how I hoped I would though. - Voice dropped quickly: I went from a tenor to a baritone in just a couple of months and I’m now a bass. - Menses stopped early on: I got one period on T and then nothing. - T cured my depression. I’m shocked how big a difference it made. Pretty much every mental health complaint I had is either completely gone or manageable enough it’s mostly not an issue. - T cured my menopause symptoms. The first noticeable effect was the cessation of hot flashes and sweating. - Family’s been mostly brilliant and my transition has been a non-issue. There’s one member whose main source of information seems to be TikTok though, and I’ve had to lay down a boundary that I don’t discuss trans issues with them. - I’ve experienced close to zero transphobia IRL. That might be down to being cis-passing, but the worst I’ve encountered where my trans status has been known is some rude customer service, which could’ve been just your regular rude customer service and not transphobia. - My dysphoria is 90% gone. There’s some lingering discomfort which is half adjusting to changes and half mentally lagging behind them. It takes a while for one’s internal body image to change, for example. Genital dysphoria is still there, but it’s actually a bit easier to deal with than it was pre-T, rather than harder.
The bad: - Still haven’t figured out a T dosage that would consistently put me in male the range, so menopause symptoms return between shots. - Atrophy set in at around 3 months and it’s barely manageable with local estrogen. I’m now actively looking into getting a hysterectomy + vaginectomy asap. - Acne wasn’t too bad, about the same as in my first puberty. The worst seems to have passed or else I’ve just figured out the skincare routine that works for me now (which is completely different from what it used to be). Bacne is still happening though. - Places where I removed hair pre-T have not filled in; I broke out the minoxidil about month ago and am seeing some progress. - Voice problems (hoarseness, tiredness, not being able to raise my voice, etc.) are much worse than I expected. I think I might have to seek voice therapy. - Cholesterol went up; it’s marginally high now. My lab values overall aren’t the best, but it’s probably related to pre-existing issues. - I had a post operative infection after my top surgery. Not exactly fun, but I still honestly preferred dealing with it to dealing with tits. 😂 - Bottom growth is disappointing: I got an early burst than then nothing further. Pre-T I was set on phalloplasty, but with the rest of my dysphoria treated, I have actually gotten around to considering metoidioplasty instead. But with the growth I’ve gotten so far, that’s probably not gonna be a satisfactory option for me. - Libido was uncomfortable for maybe months 2-4; I’ve worked out how to deal with it now and it’s not a problem. - Accessing healthcare is just as much of a hassle as I thought it would be. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry, but what a ridiculous circus. 3/10 would not do it again if it was a choice. No one’s been actively transphobic, but god damn the system is not set out to be helpful either. - Updating my legal gender was easier than expected; updating my new social security number at various offices (bank, healthcare, etc) has been a hassle. I’d rather attribute it to incompetence than malice, but at this point it’s definitely something. - Nobody’s been transphobic to my face, but the society absolutely is still transphobic and it hits harder now that I can’t pretend to be cis.
The neutral: - I’ve had to buy new shirts and jackets and replace all of my shoes. My shoe size is now one of the most common ones, which means it’s the first one to be sold out. 😅 I’m a penny-pinching bugger so I’m a little miffed even if it’s at most a temporary downside, and more of a change in which size to buy in the future. - With my dysphoria treated, I went from 5/6 to 4/6 on the Kinsey scale. I guess I’ll have to start calling myself bi/pan instead of gay. 🤷🏻‍♂️ - Men don’t flirt with me as much. :( Women flirt with me more. :) It’s about 90-10 to 10-90 change. - I’m treated fully as a guy socially. It’s different from being a gal that’s “one of the guys.” There’s both male privilege I’ve gained and female solidarity and pretty privilege I’ve lost. - Many things have had a bit of a learning curve, and the beginning is awkward just like in the first puberty. Dealing with awkwardness and learning to navigate new challenges is orders of magnitude easier than it was on the first go around though, because I’m dealing with them as an adult with adult coping skills.
Bottom line:
Overall, the upsides were much better and the downsides were much less of a problem than I expected. I should’ve gotten over myself and my fears and done this 20 years ago. It’s not perfect, but few things are in practice even when they’re overwhelmingly good.

The people involved (names are changed):
Jake – me
Tom – my flatmate
Kath – Tom’s girlfriend
Emily – Kath’s flatmate
TLDR (but context is very important for how the situation develops):
· Me and Emily get with each other at a party.
· It turns out Kath had forbidden Emily from getting with me. Since Emily went and did it anyway, Kath falls out with her.
· Kath ends her friendship with Emily. Me and Emily continue seeing each other.
· When I plan to go to see Emily at their apartment, Tom tells me that Kath is in a really dark place mentally, and the thought of me and Emily being there together while Kath’s there is triggering her anxiety, so he asks me not to go over.
· Me and Emily follow these instructions for months, while Tom and Kath continue coming and going to either of our apartments as they please.
· Emily eventually gets in touch with Kath to try and understand exactly why me coming over is an issue, since Kath has no problem coming to my place. Kath has a meltdown due to this and it makes her suicidal.
· Tom falls out with me because I knew about the messages that caused his girlfriend to feel suicidal.
(Skip to 'Late April' if you want to go straight to the crux of this post, but I do think it's quite an entertaining read).
Background Context
Me and Tom (both mid-twenties) have lived together in our apartment since I moved to the city last year. I’ve known him for several years and would put him in my inner circle of closest friends, so living with him was all just good chill vibes as expected - or at least it was for the first six months.
I met Tom’s girlfriend of several months, Kath, for the first time pretty soon after moving in. Although she was kind of shy, I thought she seemed nice enough. I noticed that Kath would seem to lean on Tom a fair amount when it came to support for her mental health (she had been diagnosed with anxiety), which of course is normal as her boyfriend. On one occasion, she had a particularly bad anxious episode during a group hangout, with Tom consoling her about it afterwards. Following this, Tom seemed exhausted, saying to me “I’m not a professional, I’m not equipped to deal with all this mental health stuff. She needs help from someone who can adequately help her deal with these thoughts. When she blows things out of proportion and she stresses out to me about her anxiety, it just ends up making my own anxiety worse”. He also said that he had even offered to pay for therapy for Kath, but she didn’t want to accept it.
I just felt bad for Tom, especially since I had some understanding of what he was going through. I had previously had a girlfriend who had anxiety/depression/BPD and put all her mental health issues on me. That girlfriend was also very manipulative and would mention suicidal thoughts any time she started feeling like she was losing control over me (just to be clear, there was no indication that Kath was acting in a manipulative way towards Tom at that point). In my experience, when you end up in a situation where you’re essentially acting as someone’s full-time personal mental health counsellor, it hardly ever ends well.
At some point in January, I met Kath’s “bestie” flatmate, Emily. I remember thinking she was cute, seemed nice and easy to talk to. We all hung out as a group a few times that month and I thought there may have been a little bit of a vibe between me and Emily.
So as you do, I slid into Emily’s DMs and basically let her know I was interested. I messaged her a week or two before our party that her and Kath were coming to, but her response was lukewarm so I just thought she probably wasn’t interested.
For context, I had recently broken up with my girlfriend in January, who had just got back from travelling for the last 6 months. Things in that relationship weren’t great before she even went travelling, and during the months she was away I had come to terms with the fact that it was best to end it. I waited until she was back to say it in person, as I didn’t want to drop that on her while she was travelling and ruin that once in a lifetime experience. However, deep down I knew I had wanted talk to other girls and explore new connections for the last few months, but obviously I didn’t want talk to anyone until it was cleanly over. Me messaging Emily was only a few days after breaking up with her, which I guess isn’t great, but in my head I had been ready to move on for a while, I saw no point in putting an arbitrary time limit on myself. I made sure to explain this context when I messaged Emily so that she was aware of my recent circumstances.
The Party (End of January)
So me and Emily end up getting with each other at the party. Initially, when I brought up me messaging her, she said “I think you’re cute, but I think it’s best we just be friends for the next couple months, since you just recently got out of a relationship, and we can see what happens afterwards”. But as the night went on, I guess Emily changed her mind, because as we kept talking it got increasingly flirty and we ended up getting together. Perfect end to the night, right? Not exactly.
At one point when Emily goes to the bathroom, she comes back into my bedroom saying “Kath is furious at me”. I ask why, and she says that Kath had basically forbidden her from getting with me.
Back when I first messaged Emily, she had of course shown Kath the messages straight away. It turns out Kath for some reason had a really intense reaction to this and was like “I can’t believe he has the audacity to hit on my best friend right after breaking up with his girlfriend! It’s so disrespectful using you as a rebound, it’s disrespectful to his ex and it’s disrespectful to me for hitting on my best friend like this! He was the only one of Tom’s friends that I actually liked but he’s ruined that too now!”.
Apparently, Kath had been used as a rebound before and this was triggering for her, so she didn’t want her best friend to be used as a rebound. She said “you can’t get with him, Emily, that’s my boundary.” Emily was a bit taken aback by the intensity of this reaction and was just a bit like “umm okay…?”. She tried a few times before the party to understand a bit more about why Kath had such a problem with it but didn’t get much further explanation than that.
Now, I agree that Emily was in the wrong for saying to Kath that she wouldn’t get with me and then went and did it anyway, and Emily also acknowledges this. Emily should have said from the start she wasn’t okay with this weird “boundary” Kath had set. It was a bit cowardly. Although given how intensely Kath overreacts to things, I can understand why Emily initially just agreed to whatever she was saying to calm her down. I can also understand how when you’re at a party having fun, drinking and realise that you do actually have a good vibe with the person, in the moment you might change your mind and be like “actually fuck that, who the fuck is she to tell me who I can and can’t get with?”.
Kath saw this as Emily having no respect for their friendship, by choosing some guy she’d just met over her. From Emily’s perspective she was choosing herself, choosing not to follow these nonsensical rules that had been imposed on her, and she was just tired of Kath overreacting to everything and trying to control her.
In my opinion, being this controlling for no good reason is pretty disrespectful in itself. Given that Kath’s reason for telling Emily not to get with me was because she didn’t want her to be used as a rebound…well that’s Emily’s risk to take, isn’t it? I can see how from Emily’s perspective, she knew Kath might not be happy about it, but it’s also not some deep betrayal, since based on the reason Kath gave, the consequence would only be on Emily herself. Emily had the exact same knowledge about my recent relationship status as Kath did, so why did Kath think she can tell her what to do?
As we get to further into this post and the real reason why Kath set this “boundary” is revealed, you will see why I actually think any argument Kath has against Emily for getting with me at the party is automatically void, but we will learn these details as they come.
Start of February
After the events of the party, Kath didn’t want to talk to Emily the next day when she tried to initiate communication via message (Kath tends to avoid in-person confrontation). Fair enough, Emily gave her space. Me and Emily spend the next day together just talking and getting to know each other more, and it’s clear that we vibe together and both feel very comfortable with each other, which is pretty rare for both of us.
I don’t see Tom for the first few days after the party, as he had been staying at Kath’s. When I do, I’m a bit surprised that he didn’t think much of Kath’s reaction at the party. He says “yeah I probably should have warned you about this beforehand”. We both agree that Emily was in the wrong for going back on what she said, but also that Kath shouldn’t have tried to control her like that. He did say “sorry I know this put you in an awkward position”.
A few days after the party, Emily again tries to get in touch with Kath via message.
Emily’s message essentially apologised for her actions, saying she was in the wrong for going back on what she said, and that she should have said from the start that she wasn’t happy with this “boundary”. She also said that Kath shouldn’t have tried to dictate her life and tell her what to do, especially when it’s something that’s none of her business, and that she is going to continue seeing me, taking the risk of being a “rebound”.
Kath’s response essentially said the whole incident at the party was only a small part of why she exploded so intensely, this was just the last in a long line of things Emily had done in the past which she had not forgiven her for. This was just the last straw for Kath because “it hit so close to home, so close to the love of my life”. She wanted things to be civil between them until the end of their tenancy, but this was essentially the end of their friendship.
Okay good, Kath flipping out so badly now finally made a bit more sense to me. Obviously, I wanted to know what Emily had done that was so bad to cause this, as any indicators of bad character would inform whether I choose to keep talking to her.
Emily went through these, explaining that these were incidents from their past that they had discussed at the time, dealt with and moved on from. I have cut these out for the word limit as they don’t add much to this post, but it was the most minor, nonsensical things (I can explain in the comments if anyone wants details).
In any case, I wasn’t particularly interested in what mistakes Emily might have made months or years ago, I was more interested in what her character was like now and going forward.
Early/Mid February
So here’s where the main situation we’re in now starts. For context, Kath and Emily’s apartment is in the city center, close to where both mine and Tom’s offices are, so it would make sense to go over in the evening and go into work from theirs the next morning, as Tom has been doing once or twice a week for the last few months.
It's worth noting that ever since the party right up to the present moment, Emily and Kath have not been interacting at all, avoiding each other in their apartment, only messaging for things like bill payments.
The first time I planned to go stay round Emily’s place was early/mid-February. When I mention this to Tom, he tells me that Kath has been having a really bad time mentally since the party, and the thought of me and Emily being there together triggers her anxiety. He asks me not to go over to their apartment for the next couple of weeks or so while she’s in this particularly bad phase. I don’t really understand what me going over and seeing Emily has to do with Kath’s anxiety (and Tom says he doesn't really understand it either himself), but I say okay fine it’s not that big of deal, I won’t go over for the time being.
Now, a valid question for myself is why I decided to keep seeing Emily, despite knowing that Kath had fallen out with her and therefore knowing it could potentially cause fiction between me and Tom. I don’t think I did anything wrong for several reasons:
· I suppose there’s the general visceral reaction against being told what to do. Like mind your own business, it’s not my fault Kath decided to get involved in my business. Why should she get what she wants when she’s the one being unreasonable? Why should we deny ourselves the opportunity of getting to know someone we seem to vibe with just because Tom’s girlfriend doesn’t like it?
· Before I even knew there was any issue at all, it was already too late; I had already gotten with Emily, they had already fallen out, and Kath already thought I was a dickhead. So what good would it do now to not see each other? Kath already didn’t like me (and she had also previously told me that once she doesn’t like someone, there’s no going back, they’re finished in her mind).
· In the initial first few days after the party, both me and Tom were kind of expecting that Kath’s reaction would blow over in a few days after she had cooled down. How could I have predicted that her reaction would instead continue getting increasingly intense as the situation went on?
· Frankly, I was annoyed at Tom at this point. He knew how Kath had reacted to me messaging Emily, so why did he just bend over and enable his girlfriends’ controlling, unreasonable behavior without question? If it was my girlfriend acting like this generally, I’d be like “why are you getting involved in their business, just let them do what they want?”, and especially so if it was directly affecting one of my close friends.
· Fundamentally, there’s no inherent reason why there had to be any issue at all? Okay Kath has ended her friendship with Emily and might not like that we’re seeing each other, but there’s no need for there to be any continued drama. Obviously we won’t all be hanging out as a four having fun like I had initially hoped, but that doesn’t mean we can’t just exist as adults and be civil? The only reason this continues to be an issue in the first place is because Kath is making it an issue for everyone else involved.
· Finally, I actually like Emily – from the first few days it was clear it wasn’t just going to be a FWB situation. If it felt like more of a superficial FWB situation, then yeah I probably would have just thought it’s not worth the drama, even though I thought Kath was the one in the wrong.
Late February
Over the month of February, me and Emily keep hanging out and getting closer. Whilst I was keeping a very close eye on her for any sign of character flaws (it was still possible that Kath could be in the right, even though her side of it didn’t make much sense to me), the more I got to know her, the more it seemed my initial judgment of her was accurate. I saw how she acted with her other friends, they all seemed to really value and appreciate her. I saw her helping out her friend in need of a fairly large amount of money without a second thought, I saw her going to accompany her friend for a medical scan they had, and generally she was really nice and thoughtful with me. Not exactly the behavior of an inconsiderate person.
Sometime in late February, Emily messages me completely baffled. She couldn’t believe that Kath had invited over a girl from their social circle, Dianne. The reason why this is a bit scandalous is because Kath is always talking shit about Dianne behind her back. And it’s not just “she can be a bit annoying sometimes”, it’s an explicit sentiment of how much she dislikes her, how much of a bad person she is and how much she wants her removed from her life. And she does this frequently, I barely speak to Kath and even I’ve heard her rant about how much she doesn’t like Dianne. So, she’s constantly saying this kind of stuff behind her back, and here she is now inviting her round for tea acting all friendly. I just found that so two-faced and this inevitably shaped my perception of Kath being deceptive.
Not long after I heard about this, Kath was round our place over the weekend. Me, Tom and Kath were heading off to our friend’s housewarming party later that day, with me driving us. At one point when the three of us are all in the kitchen, Kath speaks to me properly for the first time since the party, basically to clear the air. She says she doesn’t want there to be any bad blood between us and that her problem wasn’t with me, it was with Emily. I just say that I was cool with her, I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable with me or when coming over to our apartment, and that the situation between her and Emily was between them and not my business.
I wasn’t entirely convinced with her “clearing the air”, given that I had seen she apparently has no issue with being two-faced, but at the time I thought it was best to stay cool with her for the sake of me and Tom’s friendship and also I didn’t particularly fancy spending the rest of the day and a long car ride with awkward vibes.
End of February
At the end of February, Tom asks me how things are going with Emily and basically advises caution with her. He says that from what he’s seen she’s basically not a good person and she’s generally inconsiderate. I tell him I find that surprising from what I’ve seen of Emily, but I know it’s possible she could have just been putting on a front for the last month. I openly accept this, saying “I want to hear what you have to say, obviously you’re my friend and I respect your opinion”.
Essentially, he doesn’t bring up anything that I hadn’t already been told.
When I question Tom on why Kath thought she was a mind reader and assuming what my intentions were with Emily at the very start of this whole thing, Tom reveals he had since found out that the real reason Kath had forbidden Emily from getting with me in the first place actually wasn’t really to do with me recently breaking up with my girlfriend/using Emily as a rebound (Tom said this was a minor part of the reason, more of an excuse to base it on). It was more that Kath already knew beforehand that she wanted to end her friendship with Emily and was essentially trying to prevent her still being part of her life (i.e. by getting close to her boyfriend’s friend/flatmate).
Now it all made sense why Kath tried to “ban” her from getting with me in the first place. I’m not sure if Tom thought telling me this would make me more sympathetic to Kath’s side of it, but if anything, this deceptive behavior was even more of a red flag to me. As far as everyone (except for Kath) was concerned, her and Emily were best friends. Kath had even said to Emily a couple of weeks before the party that “she was like a sister to her”.
Tom didn’t seem to have much issue with this, saying something along the lines of “yeah I know she shouldn’t have kept all this stuff bottled up, but she doesn’t like confrontation, it makes her really anxious”.
After learning this, I think any argument for Emily being in the wrong for disobeying Kath’s instructions at the party is automatically void: Imagine having the audacity to be like “yeah I know I tried to control you by framing it as me being a protective friend looking out for you, but actually it was really because I wanted to end my friendship with you anyway teehee 😊”. In my view that is just so manipulative. No wonder the reason given to Emily for not getting with me made no sense to her.
When I revealed this to Emily, she said that she had been suspecting that was the case anyway, but it still really hurt to hear it confirmed.
Form her perspective it was like: “So was Kath holding all these grudges all the times I was consoling her for whatever mental health issue she was having at any given time?” (I wonder if Tom was thinking what a bad person Emily was when it was him and Emily staying up till stupid o’clock trying to console Kath who was crying about job applications a few weeks before all this kicked off). There are many other examples of things she had done for Kath in both the recent and more distant past.
Kath also knew that Emily’s best friend had killed herself a few years prior, and after going through the loss of her best friend, Emily had always said she was super hesitant to call anyone her “best friend”. Kath knew about this and still let Emily believe they were best friends, whilst she clearly didn’t really mean it, which I think is quite cruel of her.
Despite what I had seen of Emily so far, I still took what Tom said into account, and continued to watch her carefully.
Mid March
Another couple of weeks pass and given that my last interaction with Kath was her clearing the air with me, I thought everything was now cool between us. I mention to Tom at the start of the week that I’m planning to stay at their apartment later that week and he says “okay cool”. However, later that same evening, he once again asks me not to go over to their apartment. Apparently when he told Kath that I was going over, she started having a panic attack at the thought of me going there.
At this point I’m really started to get frustrated at this situation and again I try to understand exactly what the problem is, because this entire time Kath and Tom have been coming and going to either apartment as they please, so Kath clearly doesn’t have a problem coming to my apartment while I’m there. Tom again says that he doesn’t fully understand it himself, and that Kath doesn’t want to feel this way either, but she’s in a really bad place at the moment and me being there with Emily is really triggering her anxiety.
This makes no sense to me or Emily, because we obviously wouldn’t do anything to make Kath uncomfortable, and from our perspective this is just enabling her dysfunctional way of dealing with this situation.
Even though I still don’t understand what the fuck me seeing Emily has got to do with Kath’s mental health, I’m obviously not going to barge my way into someone’s home when I’m not welcome. So once again, I do as I’m told and say I won’t go over. But I do tell Tom that this situation isn’t going to continue going on like this indefinitely, and to me it feels to me like I’m being walked all over, in the sense of “oh yeah no worries, you two carry on going to either apartment as you please, I’ll just sit here like a dickhead and follow my instructions, don’t worry about it 😊”. He does say sorry and that he knows it’s inconvenient for us, but it's an even bigger inconvenience for Kath.
It’s worth bearing in mind that at this point, I could have responded to this situation by saying that if I’m not welcome at her apartment, Kath is not welcome here (or equally Emily could say to Kath “you can’t bring Tom round”). Whilst yes, it’s a bit petty, I think this would be a completely justified response to prevent a situation where we are being walked all over. Because what would be the alternative? They just carry on doing as they please indefinitely whilst Emily is told she isn’t allowed to have equal use of her own apartment? Now obviously telling your friend that his girlfriend isn’t allowed to come over is really a last resort and would definitely put a big dent in our friendship, and generally I have no desire to control what anyone else does, so of course I didn’t respond in this way.
Despite my frustration at this entire situation, I do feel bad for Tom because I can see how uncomfortable he seems during these conversations with me, he obviously doesn’t want to give me these unreasonable instructions. I can only assume he’s just trying to do whatever he can to keep his girlfriend afloat and prevent her next meltdown. I’ve been there myself dealing with a girlfriend with mental health issues, so I don’t want to actively make things worse for my friend either. However, I’m also worried that it’s likely to get worse for him the more he feeds into it and gets sucked into it.
At this point, the cynical side of me couldn’t help but wonder if Kath was being a bit manipulative and leaning into all the mental health stuff to maintain control of the situation.
· She seemingly is unable to give a reason for exactly why me and Emily being in her apartment makes her so uncomfortable. To me, this was completely indistinguishable from her just hating the fact that we’re together.
· All this reminds me of exactly the same kind of manipulative behavior I saw with that ex-girlfriend.
· She’s shown she has no problem with being intentionally deceptive – maybe if the entire basis of this situation hadn’t started off with Kath being manipulative she would have a bit more credibility in my eyes.
I know this kind of behavior is often not even intentional, and that it can be subconscious where the person doesn’t even realise they’re being manipulative.
(Still Mid March)
Now we get to the part that pisses me off the most in this whole situation. Only a few days after that conversation with Tom, for some reason Kath comes to stay in our apartment for the weekend while Tom was away at a house party. As in, it’s just me and Kath in my apartment.
Personally, I couldn’t imagine having the nerve to say to someone they aren’t welcome in my home because their presence triggers me, and then only a mere few days later actively choosing to go stay the weekend at their place while it’s just us two in the apartment. Like either my presence triggers you or it doesn’t?
Now to be fair, Tom had asked me a week or two beforehand if Kath could come to our apartment to hang out with someone from our friend group while he was away, and I said that was cool. Anyway, those plans fell through, but Kath still came over by herself.
But the main thing that pissed me off about this is that Tom, after knowing that I was already feeling like I was being taken for a mug in this situation, apparently didn’t even think it was worth bothering to check with me if it was still cool with me that Kath came round, given our conversation a few days prior.
If he’d at least checked in like, “I know it’s a bit weird that she’s coming to stay round by herself after having just said that your presence triggers her anxiety”, I still would’ve said okay, because I have no desire to control what anyone does. But it was just the fact he didn’t seem to care, saying “btw Kath is gonna stay here tonight” moments before leaving to his party.
To me it felt like he had spent the last month or so basically giving me instructions to make sure everyone caters to his girlfriend’s feelings, and yet didn’t give the slightest consideration to how this would make me feel. Part of me was thinking does he even see me as a friend or just as an inconvenience to his relationship at this point?
I spoke to Tom in the week following this, expressing how I had felt about Kath staying round. He did apologise and acknowledged he could’ve checked in with me, but he didn’t really seem to understand why her coming over like that was such a kick in the teeth for me. He said Kath doesn’t have a problem with me, it’s only a very specific situation that triggers her (i.e. me and Emily being in her apartment together).
Again I try to understand exactly why it’s a problem. Ever since the party, Emily’s presence in their apartment has consisted of her quietly staying in her room, quickly cooking her food and going straight back to her room. She doesn’t spend 2 hours in the kitchen making food like Kath and Tom sometimes do when he’s there.
Tom again says he doesn’t fully understand it himself. From what he understands, it’s triggering because her home is her safe space and if we’re both there it’s like there’s two hostile presences in that safe space. He reiterated that she is in a very dark place at the moment, and that she’s been having frequent panic attacks and suicidal thoughts.
Tom then says that Kath would be prepared to leave the apartment if me and Emily wanted to meet there, and Kath would basically get out of the way and come to me and Tom’s apartment instead. This did give me a bit more confidence that Kath wasn’t just purposefully making things difficult.
If Kath genuinely meant this, then of course that’s really appreciated, but I’m obviously not going to make her leave her own home and come all the way to ours to then have a 2 hour commute to her work. It’s so over the top and needless. I think that this clearly isn’t a functional solution going forward. What if one day when we want to meet up, Kath has had a long day at work and doesn’t feel like leaving her apartment (obviously, fair enough!), what if she’s got plans with friends in her apartment that evening? In any case, it’s still a situation where rules are being imposed on us, I can never just spontaneously decide to go see Emily one day after work or something. We still can’t come and go freely in the same way they have been doing for the past two months. It would be much better to understand why exactly it’s such a problem and see how we’re going to find a long-term solution, instead of Kath just running away from it.
The cynical side of me was wondering if Kath was just saying this knowing that neither me or Emily are realistically going to make her leave her own home, and if we do agree to it, then she can say “oh look how inconsiderate they are, making me leave my own home just so that they can be in the apartment”, ensuring that she keeps Tom firmly on her side.
Logically, I would’ve thought as time goes on, Kath would eventually get used to the situation and just accept it. Conversely, is it not quite understandable that the longer we have rules imposed on us, the more frustrated we become?
Once again say that I won’t go over and tell him that I won’t press this issue for the time being.
Late April
So now we get to the latest development in the situation, which is the crux of this post.
For the next month or so after that conversation with Tom, me and Emily have just been following our instructions and not pressed anything, whilst they continue coming and going as they please. One weekend we’re talking about the whole ‘Kath situation’ and we say “okay we’ve left it for a while now, it’s probably time to see how we’re going to move forward with this”.
In that next week, Emily sends Kath the following message:
“Hey, I appreciate this message might be uncomfortable but we need to discuss the fact that Jake can’t come here while you’re at home because I know that him and Tom have spoken about this but we’ve never addressed it with each other and I think it’s unfair that they’ve been largely absorbing this conflict this whole time. Can you please tell me what the exact problem would be and how we could make it work? At the end of the day we both pay equal rent here and I should be allowed to bring someone over, especially considering that Tom comes here whenever you want. We’re nothing more than just 2 housemates now and if you were living with a stranger from Spareroom such restrictions couldn’t have existed. I think I’ve let it slide and should have addressed it earlier, but it’s time we come up with a fair solution and I’d like to know if there’s anything reasonable we can do. I don’t want to go into other conversations about our fallout cause that’s done and dusted now, I want to strictly address this issue. Would you like some notice before he comes? I can’t always guarantee how far in advance I can let you know but I will do my best to give you enough time.”
Kath’s response:
“hey, I do not really appreciate this conversation being brought up 2 days before my birthday and I wish we can settle it today and not drag it on. And I do not appreciate you using Tom as a weapon to guilt trip me either. Please let me know if he is coming over tonight so that I can go somewhere else. As u probably already know I am in a really bad place at the moment and being in the apartment with both of you makes me feel very uncomfortable and unsafe. I’m already struggling to be there and I have been discussing with the agency about terminating the contract early, the terms have only been made clear to me today so I was going to message you about it. By paying a fee of £660 (£330 each) we can terminate the contract 12^th of June and I wish u will consider this. I will be gone from the apartment for 2 weeks. I would really appreciate it if you do not bring him over in the next few days as I said it will be my birthday and I will be gone for 2 weeks after if you decide to do so after this, please let me know at least 2 days in advance so that I can leave (pack clothes and everything), but do not take advantage of this as it is extremely difficult for me to commute to work – it takes me 2 hours on the bus”
Emily’s response to this:
“I don’t appreciate you using your birthday as a “weapon” to paint me as an inconsiderate person once again as you’re saying you were going to message me anyway about terminating the contract. You always have Tom round without any notice, without ever considering if it was ever uncomfortable for me given what’s happened - but now you expect me to organise our schedule around you? We can’t ever do something spontaneous or simply make plans the day before? Jake won’t be coming tonight or in the next few days until you’re away. I was hoping we could talk about why exactly this makes you uncomfortable and unsafe as it’s quite clear we wouldn’t interact with you or do anything to purposely upset/annoy you. You also had no problem being in his apartment with him without Tom there, so clearly his presence must not be that big of a problem. I am going to get back to you about terminating the contract as I have to figure out where I would go, but I’d love nothing more than to leave this apartment as early as possible too.”
There was no response after Emily’s second message.
Tom comes back to our apartment the next day and ignores me all day until the evening when he asks “Did you know that Emily was going to send those messages?”.
I say “Yes, obviously?”. He responds with “Right, okay” and starts walking back towards his room.
I ask him what was wrong with the messages, and he comes back and says “what the fuck is Emily doing sending messages like that to my suicidal girlfriend?”. He essentially thought the tone of the messages, the proximity to Kath’s birthday and the fact that we’re once again bringing up this issue of me coming round was out of order. He also said that Emily’s 2^nd message was implying that she was just going to bring me round without any notice anyway (looking at the message, no it wasn’t? It was just highlighting the unfairness of Kath expecting us to organise our schedule around her? None of the messages say that I’m going to come over, they are essentially just trying to understand exactly why it makes Kath uncomfortable).
We also did note that it was Kath’s birthday on the Friday (messages were sent on Tuesday). Maybe that wasn’t ideal, but we thought what real difference does it make? This is nothing new, it’s the same situation that’s been ongoing for the last 3 months anyway (and personally, I thought that up until the moment Kath says “okay sorry, I shouldn’t have imposed rules on you” then she shouldn’t expect that this won’t be brought up to her?).
I was a bit shocked at how angry he was and explained that we’re just trying to understand exactly what her issue is, because it still doesn’t make any sense to us. I bring up the general point about Kath imposing rules on people and expects everyone to cater to her feelings, whilst zero consideration has been given to how Emily has felt over the last 3 months, when not only does it make her uncomfortable as well that there are two “hostile presences” in her home, but especially given that those hostile presences have told her she’s not allowed to have equal use of her apartment she also pays rent for.
Tom responds with “but it’s not making Emily feel suicidal is it? Kath was having convulsions on the fucking bed last night after those messages. Why do you keep focusing on this tiny issue of coming to the apartment when my girlfriend is literally suicidal? She’s already said she’d make arrangements to leave the apartment for when you want to come over, and yet you keep pressing the issue and triggering her further”.
In that moment I was a bit taken aback and didn’t have much of a response. I kind of just sat and processed that for a few minutes, thinking “fuck, have I actually been in the wrong this whole time?”. Tom looked exhausted and stressed out, he must have been dealing with Kath’s meltdown the whole of the night before.
I say to Tom “tell Kath not to worry about me coming over while she’s there, I’m not going to, I’ll just leave it for good and won’t press this issue anymore”. Tom doesn’t give much of a response, but I think he says “I appreciate it”. He leaves for his two-week holiday shortly after.
I felt really bad that evening, thinking I had caused Tom to have to deal with whatever horrible meltdown because of me pressing this issue. Maybe I had been overly cynical of Kath, and she genuinely was just trying her best and not meaning to be manipulative.
When Tom got back from his holiday, he basically confirmed our friendship is over because I had known about those messages that caused his girlfriend to feel suicidal.
I’ve thought about the situation a lot since he left for his holiday:
· Looking back at the messages Emily sent, I think the tone is completely fine? Every single person I’ve shown the messages to has said they are actually quite kind and empathetic, and way nicer than they need to be given Kath’s behavior over the last 3 months.
· Tom’s reaction was essentially “how dare Emily have the audacity to ask for a reason why she hasn’t been allowed to have equal use of her own apartment for the last 3 months!”
· It’s true that Tom had mentioned that Kath had been having some suicidal thoughts a month prior, but I didn’t know that this would directly impact that, especially since I thought the message was quite nice and sensitive. Just the weekend before this Tom and Kath were out clubbing, having fun and they were going on holiday later that week. So obviously I didn’t realise she was still feeling so bad. How could anyone expect that simply asking the question of “why does this make you so uncomfortable” would result in this reaction.
· As soon as I did realise how intensely Kath had reacted, and what Tom had had to deal with as a result, I backed off straight away, saying that she doesn’t have to worry, I’m not going to press it anymore.
· Realistically, if this is how Kath reacts to being asked for basic fairness, then I think really she needs to be in a mental health crisis centre or hospital, not just carrying on with everyday life as if everything is fine, and certainly not in a situation where she’s imposing rules on people.
· At the end of the day, Kath’s mental health is not my responsibility, nor is it Tom’s responsibility. I think it’s unfair of Kath to have made it his problem to such a large degree.
Logically, I don’t think I’m in the wrong, and yet Tom’s reaction to this makes me feel like I’m going crazy. That’s why I wrote out everything’s that’s happened from start to finish to “audit” myself and evaluate each of my actions throughout the entire situation. I’ve looked back and don’t think I’m in the wrong for anything I’ve done. The only explanation I can think of is that Tom has been so deep in all of Kath’s mental health stuff 24/7 that he’s just not thinking clearly about this situation.

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