Batik: A Journey from Wax to Art

Batik, an ancient art form with roots in Southeast Asia, involves creating designs on fabric using wax resist dyeing. Let's explore the magic behind this process:
Techniques:

• Traditional Batik:
  • Waxing: Using tools like a "canting" (spout tool) or "cap" (stamp), hot wax is applied to create intricate patterns.
  • Dyeing: The fabric is dipped in a dye bath, only areas not covered in wax absorb the color.
  • Repeating: This process is repeated for each additional color, with fresh wax applied to protect previously dyed areas.
  • Wax Removal: Finally, the wax is removed using boiling water or solvents, revealing the final design.
• Simpler Variations:
  • Crayon Batik: Similar to traditional, but uses melted crayons instead of hot wax. Great for beginners or kids!
  • Watercolor Batik: Painted wax designs resist watercolor paints, creating soft, blended effects.

Materials:

• Fabric: Natural fibers like cotton or silk work best. Pre-wash to remove sizing.
• Wax: Traditional techniques use beeswax, but paraffin wax is a readily available alternative.
• Dyes: Choose dyes suitable for your fabric (e.g., fabric dye for natural fibers). Start with primary colors to mix your own shades.
• Tools: Canting, tjaps (metal stamps), brushes, double boiler for wax, containers for dyes.
• Optional: Pencils for pre-drawing designs, newspapers for protection.

Tips for Beginners:

• Start small: Practice on a scrap fabric before tackling a large project.
• Work in sections: Divide your design into manageable areas to apply wax and dye.
• Experiment with different tools: Try brushes, stamps, or even toothpicks for unique textures.
• Embrace imperfections: Batik's beauty lies in its organic nature, so don't stress about perfect lines.
• Wash and iron carefully: Follow fabric and dye instructions for proper care.

Inspiration and Resources:

• Books: "Batik: Mastering the Art of Wax Resist Dyeing" by Janet Compton, "Batik for Beginners" by Laura Murray.
• Websites: batikguild.org, [invalid URL removed].
• Videos: YouTube channels like "Batik with Cheryl" and "Indonesian Batik Art".

Remember, batik is a journey of exploration and creativity. Don't be afraid to experiment, have fun, and express yourself through the vibrant world of wax and dye!

The Dazzling World of Beadwork:

Beadwork encompasses a vast and vibrant spectrum of arts and crafts, offering endless possibilities for creative expression. Here's a comprehensive guide to get you started:
Techniques:

• Stringing: Thread beads onto thread or wire, creating simple strands or complex patterns.
• Looming: Use a bead loom to weave intricate designs with warp and weft threads.
• Stitching: Incorporate beads into embroidery, crochet, or knitting projects.
• Bead Embroidery: Sew beads onto fabric to create raised designs and textures.
• Bead Weaving: Off-loom techniques like peyote stitch and brick stitch build three-dimensional forms.
• Bead Fusing: Join beads with heat to create unique shapes and embellishments.

Materials:

• Beads: Diverse materials like glass, seed beads, metal, stone, and even polymer clay offer endless options.
• Thread: Choose thread weight and material based on bead size and technique (e.g., nylon for stringing, cotton for embroidery).
• Needles: Beading needles with fine points are essential.
• Tools: Pliers, scissors, bead stoppers, tweezers, and optional tools like looms and bead trays.

Getting Started:

• Pick your project: Start with beginner-friendly patterns like simple necklaces or bracelets.
• Gather your supplies: Invest in quality materials that suit your project and budget.
• Learn the basics: Master fundamental techniques like stringing, knotting, and stitching before delving into complex projects.
• Practice makes perfect: Don't be discouraged by initial challenges. Regular practice hones your skills and builds confidence.
• Seek inspiration: Look for online tutorials, books, magazines, and craft communities for fresh ideas and techniques.

Tips and Tricks:

• Organize your beads: Use containers, bead organizers, or sorting trays to keep beads categorized and accessible.
• Condition thread: Waxing or using thread conditioner reduces friction and protects your thread.
• Secure your knots: Double or triple knots ensure beads stay put, especially for valuable materials.
• Experiment with color and texture: Combine different bead shapes, sizes, and colors to create unique effects.
• Take care of your tools: Clean and store your tools properly for longevity and optimal performance.

Resources:

• Websites: beadingdaily.com, firemountaingems.com, [invalid URL removed]
• Books: "Beadwork Basics" by Deb Moffett, "The Complete Guide to Beading" by Lark Books
• YouTube Channels: The Beading Gem, PotomacBeads, EriBeads

Remember, beadwork is a journey of continuous learning and discovery. Embrace the joy of experimentation, explore different styles, and let your creativity shine through!

The Art of Bonsai: Miniature Trees, Maximum Creativity

Bonsai, the art of cultivating miniature trees in containers, transcends mere craft. It's a fusion of horticulture, artistry, and patience, allowing you to sculpt living landscapes in the palm of your hand. Let's delve into the world of Bonsai:
Key Principles:

• Mimic Nature: Bonsai strive to capture the essence of mature trees in miniature, replicating natural forms like windswept pines or cascading willows.
• Patience is Key: Growth is slow, requiring years of careful pruning, wiring, and shaping to achieve the desired form.
• Balance is Essential: Proper branch placement, pot size, and foliage density contribute to the overall harmony of the composition.

Choosing Your Bonsai:

• Species: Start with hardy, beginner-friendly trees like Ficus or Chinese Elm. Consider your climate and preferences for indoor or outdoor trees.
• Style: Explore various styles like upright, informal upright, cascade, or literati to find one that resonates with you.
• Pre-Bonsai vs. Established: Pre-Bonsai offer more control, while established trees provide instant gratification but require less shaping.

Cultivation Essentials:

• Potting: Use well-draining soil mix and a pot that complements the tree's size and style. Repotting every 2-3 years is crucial for healthy growth.
• Watering: Water deeply and regularly, avoiding overwatering, which can harm roots. Observe your tree's needs based on species and climate.
• Lighting: Most Bonsai require bright, indirect sunlight. Research your specific species' light requirements.
• Pruning and Wiring: Prune regularly to control growth, encourage branching, and refine the shape. Use bonsai wire to temporarily bend branches.

Artistic Expression:

• Style Exploration: As you gain experience, explore different styles and experiment with advanced techniques like jin (deadwood) and shari (exposed bark).
• Pot Selection: Choose a pot that enhances the overall composition and complements the style of your Bonsai.
• Accessories: Stones, moss, and miniature figurines can add depth and storytelling to your miniature landscape.

Bookbinding Repair: Giving New Life to Cherished Stories

Bookbinding repair, more than just a practical skill, is an art form that allows you to preserve cherished stories and breathe new life into aged volumes. Whether it's a well-loved childhood book with loose pages or a vintage treasure with a cracked spine, here's your guide to becoming a bookbinding repair artist:
Assessing the Damage:

• Identify the issue: Is it loose pages, a torn cover, a broken hinge, or something else? Each requires different approaches.
• Evaluate the materials: Consider the book's age, binding style, and paper quality to determine appropriate repair methods and materials.

Basic Repairs:

• Loose Pages: Apply a thin layer of acid-free PVA glue to the spine edge of the page using a brush or toothpick. Reattach carefully and press flat under weight until dry.
• Torn Pages: Use thin mending tissue and PVA glue to bridge the tear from the back of the page. Overlap the tissue slightly beyond the tear for stability.
• Cracked Spine: Reinforce the spine with archival mending tape applied along the inside. For larger tears, consider resewing the signatures (sections of pages).

Intermediate Repairs:

• Broken Hinges: Carefully detach the cover, preserving any endpapers attached. Apply glue to the hinge area of both cover and text block. Reattach and clamp until dry.
• Damaged Covers: Depending on the damage, you can clean, re-glue, or replace the cover material. For fabric covers, consider using fabric bookbinding tape for repairs.

Advanced Repairs:

• Missing Pages: If pages are completely missing, consult a professional bookbinder for paper matching and reintegration.
• Extensive Damage: For severely damaged books, consider seeking professional restoration services to ensure proper conservation and longevity.

Essential Tools and Materials:

• Acid-free PVA glue or bookbinding adhesive
• Archival mending tissue
• Bone folder for smoothing and creasing
• Craft knife or scalpel (use with caution)
• Ruler and straight edge
• Clamps or weights
• Brushes or applicators
• Fabric bookbinding tape (optional)

Tips and Resources:

• Start small: Practice on less valuable books before tackling prized possessions.
• Work in a clean, well-lit area.
• Use archival-quality materials to prevent further damage.
• Take your time and be meticulous.
• Don't hesitate to seek professional help for complex repairs.

Books and Websites:

• "In-House Bookbinding and Repair" by Sharon McQueen and James Twomey
• "Book Repair Made Easy" by Aldis Browne
• American Library Association's Guide to Book Repair: [[invalid URL removed]]([invalid URL removed])
• Library of Congress Preservation Directorate: [[invalid URL removed]]([invalid URL removed])

Remember, bookbinding repair is a journey of learning and patience. As you delve into this rewarding craft, you'll not only preserve books but also connect with history, stories, and the magic of the written word.

The Art of Calligraphy: Where Penmanship Meets Creativity

Calligraphy, the art of beautiful handwriting, transcends practicality and becomes a mesmerizing dance of pen and ink. Whether you seek graceful lettering for invitations or artistic expression through personalized quotes, here's your guide to embark on this captivating journey:
Choosing Your Script:

• Start with a beginner-friendly script: Italic, Gothic, or foundational script offer good starting points with basic letterforms and manageable flourishes.
• Explore different styles: As you progress, delve into more intricate scripts like Copperplate, Uncial, or even Arabic calligraphy, each with its unique character.

Tools and Materials:

• Nibs: Select a nib based on the script and desired line thickness. Start with a medium-flex nib for versatility.
• Pen holder: Choose a comfortable holder that accommodates your chosen nib.
• Ink: Opt for high-quality calligraphy ink for smooth flow and vibrant colors. Experiment with different colors and inks with metallic sheen.
• Paper: Use smooth, absorbent paper specifically designed for calligraphy. Practice sheets are ideal for beginners.

Learning the Basics:

• Posture and grip: Maintain good posture and a relaxed grip on the pen for optimal control.
• Basic strokes: Master fundamental strokes like upstrokes, downstrokes, and curves, forming the building blocks of letters.
• Letter formation: Practice forming each letter of your chosen script, paying attention to proportions, spacing, and consistency.

Sharpening Your Skills:

• Practice exercises: Regularly do drills and exercises to improve muscle memory and develop fluency.
• Join workshops or online courses: Seek guidance from experienced calligraphers to refine your technique and learn new skills.
• Experiment with composition: Explore layout options, letter spacing, and flourishes to create visually appealing compositions.

Beyond the Basics:

• Flourishes and embellishments: Once comfortable with basic letterforms, add flourishes and decorative elements to personalize your calligraphy.
• Gilding and illumination: Explore advanced techniques like gilding with metallic foil or adding illuminated details for an extra touch of grandeur.
• Modern calligraphy: Embrace contemporary lettering styles with brush pens or markers, incorporating modern design elements.

Inspiration and Resources:

• Websites: International Association of Calligraphers: [invalid URL calligraphy society ON International Association of Calligraphers calligraphy.org], The Calligrapher's Guild:, Learn Calligraphy: [invalid URL learncalligraphy.com ON Learn Calligraphy]
• Books: "Mastering the Art of Calligraphy" by Patricia Lovett-Cooper, "The Calligrapher's Bible" by Heather Victoria Cole, "Modern Calligraphy" by Molly Hatch
• YouTube Channels: The Happy Ever After, The Postman's Knock, Calligraphy with Jennifer

Remember, calligraphy is a journey of continuous learning and self-expression. Embrace the joy of practice, celebrate your progress, and let your creativity flow through the graceful curves and flourishes of your penmanship.

Candlemaking: Illuminating Creativity with Wax and Fragrance

Candlemaking offers a rewarding blend of craft and science, allowing you to create beautiful and personalized candles for yourself, gifts, or home décor. Here's your guide to embark on this illuminating journey:
Choosing Your Wax:

• Soy wax: Popular for its clean burn, natural ingredients, and variety of fragrances.
• Beeswax: Eco-friendly, burns golden with a honey scent, but limited fragrance options.
• Paraffin wax: Most affordable, but can have a stronger petroleum scent and be less eco-friendly.
• Coconut wax: Burns clean and cool, but harder to find and requires specific additives.

Gathering Supplies:

• Melting pot: Double boiler or electric melter for safe wax heating.
• Thermometer: Monitor wax temperature accurately for optimal pouring.
• Wicks: Choose the right size and type for your wax and container.
• Fragrance oil: Opt for high-quality, skin-safe oils designed for candles.
• Candle dyes (optional): Add color to your candles with caution to avoid affecting burn quality.
• Pouring pitcher: Makes transferring hot wax easier and safer.
• Heat-resistant containers: Jars, tins, or molds suitable for candle use.
• Decorative elements (optional): Dried flowers, herbs, or essential oils for personalization.

The Candlemaking Process:

1. Melt the wax: Follow safety instructions and heat wax to the appropriate temperature for your chosen wax type.
2. Add fragrance and dye (optional): Mix carefully, following recommended usage rates to avoid scent throw issues or discoloration.
3. Attach the wick: Secure the wick to the bottom of the container with a wick sticker or hot glue.
4. Pour the wax: Slowly and carefully pour the wax into the container, leaving space at the top for cooling.
5. Center the wick: Gently adjust the wick if needed to ensure it stays centered during cooling.
6. Cooling and setting: Allow the candle to cool completely and solidify without disturbing it.
7. Trimming the wick: Once set, trim the wick to ¼ inch for a clean and safe burn.

Crafting Tips:

• Start small: Begin with simple container candles before trying more complex molds.
• Safety first: Always follow proper handling and heating procedures for wax and fragrance oils.
• Work in a well-ventilated area.
• Experiment with different scents and colors.
• Label your candles: Include ingredients, fragrance details, and burn instructions for gifting or safety.

Resources and Inspiration:

• Websites: CandleScience [invalid URL candlescience com], The Nerdy Farm [invalid URL candle making supply nerdy farm ON [invalid URL removed]], Bramble Berry [invalid URL www brambleberry com]
• Books: "The Complete Joy of Candlemaking" by Abigail Righter, "Candlemaking Mastery" by Erin Prager, "Handmade Soap & Candlemaking 101" by Anne-Marie Failla
• YouTube Channels: Bramble Berry Candle Making, Soap Queen, DIY Candle Making with Sadie

Remember, candlemaking is a creative journey filled with experimentation and learning. Embrace the process, enjoy the beautiful scents, and let your light shine through your handcrafted creations!

Chair Caning: Weaving a Seat of Art and Function

Chair caning, the art of weaving cane webbing onto chair frames, combines practicality with artistic expression. It's a rewarding craft that allows you to restore vintage chairs or create unique pieces, breathing new life into furniture and honing your skills. Here's a guide to get you started:
Choosing Your Cane:

• Material: Natural cane (rattan) is traditional, but synthetic options like PVC or fiber offer durability and moisture resistance.
• Diameter: Thicker cane provides a sturdier seat, while thinner cane creates a more delicate look.
• Pre-cut or skeins: Pre-cut lengths are easier for beginners, while skeins offer more flexibility for complex patterns.

Tools and Supplies:

• Webbing needle: A long, thin needle with a large eye for weaving the cane.
• Awl: Creates holes in the chair frame for the cane to pass through.
• Pliers: Used for cutting and bending cane, and tightening knots.
• Scissors: Sharp scissors for trimming cane.
• Sandpaper: Smooths rough edges of the cane and chair frame.
• Tack cloth: Removes dust and debris before applying glue.
• Chair frame: Choose a sturdy frame with existing holes or predrill them for even spacing.
• Cane adhesive: Choose a water-resistant glue specifically designed for cane.
• Tacking strips (optional): Provide additional support for the cane edges.

The Caning Process:

1. Prepare the frame: Ensure the frame is clean, sanded, and free of debris.
2. Mark the holes: Use a template or ruler to mark evenly spaced holes for the cane to pass through.
3. Start weaving: Begin at the outside edge, threading the cane through the holes and securing it with a knot.
4. Continue weaving: Follow a specific pattern, ensuring the cane goes under and over the frame's rails and uprights.
5. Tighten and secure: Use pliers to tighten the cane as you weave, and secure the ends with knots or tacking strips.
6. Trim and finish: Trim any excess cane and apply glue to the edges for a neat finish.
7. Let it dry: Allow the glue to dry completely before using the chair.

Tips and Tricks:

• Start with a simple pattern: Beginner-friendly patterns like "square" or "herringbone" are good starting points.
• Practice on scrap wood: Hone your skills before tackling a valuable chair.
• Use clear instructions and diagrams: Numerous online resources and books offer detailed guidance.
• Work in a well-lit area with good ventilation.
• Don't be afraid to experiment: Once comfortable, explore more intricate patterns and decorative borders.

Resources and Inspiration:

• Websites: [invalid URL caning chairs ON [invalid URL removed]], [invalid URL seatweaving com], [invalid URL the chair caner ON thechaircaner.com]
• Books: "The Complete Guide to Chair Caning" by John Krall, "Chair Caning Basics" by Barbara J. Kreit, "The Art of Chair Caning" by Pauline H. Innis
• YouTube Channels: The Chair Caner, Caning Chairs with Mike, Heritage Repair

Remember, chair caning is a journey of learning and patience. Embrace the process, enjoy the satisfaction of restoring a piece of furniture, and let your creativity weave its way into your craft!
The holidays are a magical time, and creating your own Christmas ornaments adds a personal touch to your decorations and traditions. Here's a comprehensive guide to get you started on your festive crafting journey:
Choosing Your Project:

• Difficulty level: Consider your crafting experience and desired complexity. Start with beginner-friendly options like salt dough ornaments or fabric scraps, and progress to more intricate techniques like woodworking or stained glass.
• Materials and tools: Select materials readily available around the house or easily sourced from craft stores. Consider using recycled materials for an eco-friendly twist. Gather appropriate tools based on your chosen project.
• Style and theme: Let your personality shine through! Opt for classic and traditional designs, whimsical characters, or modern minimalist styles. Coordinate your ornaments with your overall holiday décor theme.

Popular Techniques:

• Salt dough ornaments: Mix flour, salt, and water to create a dough, shape it into festive figures, bake and decorate with paint, glitter, or fabric scraps.
• Paper ornaments: Use construction paper, origami techniques, or quilling to create snowflakes, stars, trees, or even miniature gift boxes.
• Felt ornaments: Cut out shapes from felt fabric, sew them together with colorful embroidery floss, and embellish with buttons, beads, or sequins.
• Pinecone ornaments: Decorate pinecones with paint, glitter, glue-on embellishments, or natural elements like berries and twigs.
• Clay ornaments: Use air-dry clay, polymer clay, or even cookie dough (baked and glazed) to mold ornaments like snowmen, gingerbread houses, or personalized initials.
• Upcycled ornaments: Repurpose old materials like bottle caps, CDs, wine corks, or even light bulbs into unique ornaments with paint, markers, or mosaic techniques.

Tips and Tricks:

• Plan ahead: Gather materials and tools beforehand to avoid last-minute scrambling.
• Work in a clean and organized space.
• Enlist the help of family and friends: Crafting together can be a fun and bonding experience.
• Supervise children appropriately for safety with tools and materials.
• Don't be afraid to experiment: Get creative and personalize your ornaments!
• Seal your ornaments: Apply a varnish or sealant for durability and added shine.
• Attach hanging loops: Use twine, ribbon, or ornament hooks before storing or displaying your creations.

Inspiration and Resources:

• Websites: Pinterest, The Spruce Crafts, Martha Stewart, HGTV Handmade
• Books: "Christmas Crafts for Kids" by Amanda Formaro, "The Complete Joy of Making Christmas Ornaments" by Heather Mandarano, "500 Christmas Ornaments to Make" by Leisure Arts
• YouTube Channels: DIY Crafts by Nicole, The Craft Shack, Lia Griffith

Remember, creating Christmas ornaments is about the joy of the process and expressing your holiday spirit. Embrace the magic, have fun crafting, and cherish the memories you create with your handmade decorations!

Pulling the match between my teeth and placing the small flame on the trail of blood the fire wraps me in a red flame. Cool to the touch and comfortimg as it engulfs me. The flames turn purple then blue, shivering a bit I smirk at the front gate of the cabin in the woods. 1 story cozy Lincoln log looking cabin with a roof of red moss. The forest green fence contains my home away from the hustle and bustle of the world.
"FALKOR!!!!" I yell (don't judge me we all were kids once)
A howl is heard almost as if to say what. Reaching into my jacket I pull out a bone the length of a yard stick. Almost as if on cue I hear the thudding of paws. I check my watch and stand the bone up vertically. With what little bit of agility I care to muster I pull myself up on the top of the bone in a handstand. I feel the rough fur of the domesticated beast under my hand as l land not so gently on his back he vaults over the fence and gracefully comes to a stop.
I scratched behind his and noticed condensation on the windows. Falkor growls. He begins to shrink while I hop down taking origami ninja stars from my jacket.
Walking up to the door there is a whoosh. We are assaulted by winter winds complete with a snow flurry.
"Welcome home young one! I've been expecting you!" That voice, there is no way he should be using magic right now unless... Well first things first I need a hat and some gloves. Remember to always dress accordingly. Walking into the cabin a light blanket of snow covers the kitchen and living room. Pulling a lighter from my sock I whisper "Trebam sub koji mi stane u dlan"
The flames jump from the lighter to my hand "proljetni ekvinocij je došao noseći darove" I say sternly as I turn to the kitchen. From the snow I watch as flowers bloom and transform into butterflies that migrate out of the front door.
"Spectacular show! Now explain to me why I am here!" Sir Camelot's voice comes from the frozen head in my freezer. Glaring at it I say "do you know how hard it was to get this wood?" I step forward to confront the enchanted head only to be met by a COVID 19 barrier.
"So you made a deal with a seven deadly sin... You must tell me how you managed that." Sir Camelot's remarks coldly ( no pun intended)
"The whole story is on my tinder profile how about we start with what the fuck do you want." I respond knowing that I am clearly outmatched. Now for those who don't know one does not just simply maintain power after a hex. I used my lighter as a booby trap. I was supposed to come home maybe water the garden play some fetch, and catch up on some webtoons.
That was the last thing I was thinking before I heard a creek then I felt the equivalent of a hammer on an anvil connected with my head. The frozen head chuckled as I fell towards the barrier and slid down to the floor. When I woke up my head felt like a Final Destination highway freak accident and the stars I saw did nothing to illuminate the dark room.
A dungeon I'm in a fucking damp dungeon complete with the echoing of a dripping liquid. Someone has Me cosplaying as Jesus I'm assuming from the fact I can't move. There is a smell of lavender in the air I'm guessing Martha Stewarts handy work.
"daj mi oči rođenih u tami" I whisper nervously.
Slowly I can inspect my surroundings from where I am I see only brick walls. On the floor I see a speaker which is playing the iconic water droplets but it's not the speaker that gives me comfort. There is no door and the floor is moving. Not as if it's made of water but like grass that is springing back from being disturbing. The grey seems to glitch jumping from one shade to another as if the individual squares on the floor are trading information or thinking like the old windows cursors.
Sir Camelot is not your run of the mill magician. I'm good but he seems like he comes from a pure blood kinda family. A bright white line is beginning to form. The shape of a small door forms. When it starts to repeat itself on various areas of the walls I start to connect the dots. On each door there is a Seal I know very well. The Seals glowed black spotted with white dots like a night sky with none of the light pollution.
Red hands emerge from these doors. Claws sharpened on the bones of their prisoners the smell of sulfur mixes with the wave of fragrance by Abraham Lincoln. (Pennies or copper for my foreign friends.) The forearms extend with the fresh brandings finishing the atmospheres oh so lovely aroma with Hannibal Lecter's summer BBQ.
Hissing and growling fill the room. The demons crawl in the room like lethargic roaches. The cacophony of sniffing leaves me feeling flattered and terrified. Arms and legs cover the walls and the ceiling but the demons avoid the floor like it's lava... Which in retrospect is probably not a good way to describe it. It's more like watching large cats refuse to enter the water.
But this isn't the Life of Pi, I refuse to be eaten by these things. I will not become demon shit before I hatch that fucking dragon. I feel the warmth of my conduit in my mind I scramble to think of a way out.
In the center of the gray floor violet liquid leaks into the shapes of ancient symbols the cane the old man had slowly rose from the floor. The once simple black cane elongated and turned white. My Zippo appeared and lit itself setting the top of the can on fire like an Olympic torch. From the fire a small horse adorns the top of the staff. The horse seems to be galloping in slow motion atop the staff.
Armor forms around the miniature horse, green as jade at first but slowly turns to a deep maroon. Red flames and green smoke flow between the scales of armor like the horse is the heart of an ancient flame.
Like cotton candy a hand appears and grows to reveal Sir Camelot holding the staff. With a smile on his face and a fire in his eyes he boldly proclaims...
"Now that I have your attention we should begin the interview. Though I feel like I should warn you, your performance will directly effect your dinner plans" he begins to chuckle like a grandpa who is playing a prank on his wife.
I look around the room taking a deep breath I exhale and let my fangs grow.
"Fair enough. I know when to fold em" I blow a kiss at the demons and close my eyes.
I'm not getting to those webtoons today.

Basically 5-8 years. And likely the prison Martha Stewart went to or the one Felicity Huffman went to. Swimming pools, origami class, etc.
Honestly, I would not want her to get more than 8 years (say likely out in 4 or 5) for this. We have more prisoners than any other country in the world. And I'm not certain non violent criminals belong there.
https://fortune.com/2022/01/03/elizabeth-holmes-trial-future/

Hello!
Not entirely sure if this is allowed but based on my last post and research I have compiled a list of businesses that were recommended by you all. It helped me a lot to categorize them in spreadsheet so it was easily readable. Everyone is so nice on this sub and has such lovely recommendations that I wanted something where we could all look at when we are looking for gifts.
Here is a link to a spreadsheet format if that is easier to see spreadsheet
Edited to add that the spreadsheet now has where the shop is located and if they ship internationally! some stores did not list if they did so aI left those blank
If you have any other suggestions for shops add them in the comments and I'd be happy to update the list! Otherwise happy holiday shopping!
Art
Faye Moorhouse weird art and greeting cards https://shop.fayemoorhouse.co.uk
Janet Hill Studio original vintage art prints https://www.etsy.com/shop/janethillstudio
Jill Kittock quirky women art prints and card https://www.jillkittock.com
Michelle Morin nature and animal paintings and prints https://www.etsy.com/shop/MichelleMorinShop
Peppa Potter kitten and monster prints https://www.etsy.com/shop/PeppaPotter
Soft Moka animal watercolor prints and cards https://www.etsy.com/shop/SoftMoka
Studio Tuesday cute realistic animal watercolor prints https://www.etsy.com/shop/studiotuesday
Swanbones folk lore inspired art https://www.etsy.com/shop/swanbones
Tal Stoobik weird nude art and prints https://www.etsy.com/shop/TalStoobik
The Art of the Mask handmade paper mache masks https://www.etsy.com/shop/TheArtOfTheMask
Bags
Bingham and Bloom Medieval & Vile Victorian themed https://www.etsy.com/shop/BinghamandBloom
Jenny N Design handmade leather bags https://jennyndesign.com
Krukru Book Studio purses and bag that have your favorite book cover on them https://krukrustudio.com
Leafling Bags plant based leather bags and embroidered https://www.etsy.com/shop/LeaflingBags
Rachel Elise natural durable bags https://www.rachelelise.com
Bath and body
Athame and Alchemy wax melts, soaps and scrubs https://www.athameandalchemy.com
Atlanta Body Culinary organic hair and body oils https://www.etsy.com/shop/AtlantaBodyCulinary
Cattail Apothecary tinctures and teas https://cattailapothecary.com
Epically Epic Soap Co. lip balm and body care https://epicsoap.com
Felin Lune Apothecary sustainable and zero waste potions and elixirs https://felinluneapothecary.com
House of Glois pumpkin butters https://www.hausofgloi.com
LitttleBits historical apothecary https://www.etsy.com/shop/LitttleBits
MAMALU handmade reef safe sunscreen https://www.mamalusunscreen.com
Toadstool soaps shampoo gel and hair care https://www.etsy.com/shop/toadstoolsoaps
Vibe bath and body paraben and phthalate free personal care items http://www.vibebathandbody.org
Books
Aimee woodworks unofficial zelda cookbook https://www.etsy.com/shop/AimeeWoodWorks
Candles/Incense
AsianBobaGirl asian snack inspired candles https://www.etsy.com/shop/AsianBobaGirl
Fiction Bath Co book inspired candles https://www.fictionbathco.com
Good Earth Mercantile incense stick, sprays and body care https://goodearthmercantile.com
Kline Honey Bee Farm beeswax candles and supplies
Sleepy Street Goods soy candles body oil and room sprays https://www.etsy.com/shop/SleepyStreetGoods
WillowWaxCraft wax melts https://www.etsy.com/shop/WillowWaxCraft
Clothing
Blue Platypus Original printed clothes made and produced in Los Angeles https://blue-platypus.com
Choke Shirt Co tie dye and graphic tees https://www.chokeshirtco.com
Coline Design printed tattoo tights and leggings https://www.etsy.com/shop/colinedesign
Cryptostylis dark illustrations and apparel https://www.etsy.com/shop/CRYPTOSTYLIS
Erin MacLeod Designs snap skirts and dresses https://www.etsy.com/shop/erinmacleod
Fennec Design nature witchy screenprinted clothes https://www.etsy.com/shop/FennecDesignCo
Fugitive Nature hand dyed and painted clothing https://www.etsy.com/shop/FugitiveNature
Hara The Label sustainable soft dreamy bamboo underwear https://www.harathelabel.com
Ini Harness leather body harnesses https://www.etsy.com/shop/IniHarness
Many Mornings mismatched socks https://www.etsy.com/shop/ManyMornings
Melodia Designs belly dance and yoga Clothes https://www.melodiadesigns.com
Made with Love by Hannah skirts and dresses inspired by folklore https://madewithlovebyhannah.com/about.html
Motumo linen clothes https://www.etsy.com/shop/MotumoLinen
Pixie Cold Art holo witchy nature inspired clothing https://www.etsy.com/shop/PixieColdArt
Revivall Clothing usa made fair trade women’s clothing https://revivallclothing.com/about/
Sevengill screen printed animal clothing for adults and babies https://www.etsy.com/shop/sevengill
Simka Sol original nature inspired clothing https://www.simkasol.com
Smiling Snake shirts drawn from nature screened by hand https://www.etsy.com/shop/SmilingSnake
Svaha Apparel stem themed clothing for children and adults https://svahausa.com
Texture Clothing hemp and organic basics made for curves https://www.textureclothing.com/pages/our-story
Tooshaaya soft natural sustainable handmade knitwear https://www.etsy.com/shop/TOOSHAAYA
Craft
Snap Jewelry Shop resin molds and clay supplies https://www.etsy.com/shop/SnapJewelryShop
Food
August Uncommon Tea tea and tea accessories https://august.la
Bird and Blend tea and tea blends https://www.birdandblendtea.us
Evil Tea Co loose tea and apothecary https://evilteacompany.com
NM Tea Co fine fresh tea from around the world https://www.nmteaco.com
Hawai’i ‘Ulu Co-op Farmer owned co-op growing and promoting local produce
https://eatbreadfruit.com
Jasmine Pearl Tea tea blends and accessories https://thejasminepearl.com
Lollies by Leah artisan lollipops https://lolliesbyleah.com
Mama and Papaws Closet homemade candies and cookies https://www.etsy.com/shop/MamaAndPapawsCloset
Oh Fudge Store handmade fudge https://www.etsy.com/shop/OhFudgeStore
River Valley Pasta artisan handmade dried pastas https://www.rivervalleypasta.com/about-us
Tea House loose teas and blends https://teahaus.com
Whimsy Tea tea and tea blends https://whimsyteacompany.com
Virtuoso Confections chocolate and caramel candies https://www.etsy.com/shop/VirtuosoConfections
Hair
Nadinochka Shop handmade silk scrunchies https://www.etsy.com/shop/NadinochkaShop
Saya Designs wooden hair accessories https://www.etsy.com/shop/SayaDesignsShop
Silk Hair Designs handmade silk scrunchies https://www.etsy.com/shop/silkhairdesigns
Hats
KnockThrice beanies and pins https://www.etsy.com/shop/KnockThrice
Thirteen48 custom decorated fedoras https://www.etsy.com/shop/Thirteen48
Home
2Chicks and a Basket personalized signs and picture frames https://www.etsy.com/shop/2ChicksAndABasket
Backwoods Co handcrafted brooms https://backwoodsbrooms.com
Becca Jane ceramic jewelry and pottery http://www.beccajane.com/shop/
Bill Crisalfi spooky themed tapestries, clothing and cups https://www.billcrisafi.com
Clay Hive co handmade ceramic pots and sculptures https://www.etsy.com/shop/ClayHiveCo
Dancing Pig Pots handmade pottery https://www.etsy.com/shop/dancingpigpots
Dellamorte and Co gothic homegoods https://www.etsy.com/shop/Dellamorteco
Demiurgus Dreams fantasy animal sculpture https://www.etsy.com/shop/DemiurgusDreams
Desert Land southwestern mexican americana cushions and bags https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/DesertLandWares
Essenia Fairy Land floral glass lamps https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/EsseniaFairyLand
Frankie Print Co woven blankets and pillows https://www.etsy.com/shop/FrankiePrintCo
Kenna Sato Designs vinyl wall decals and goods https://www.etsy.com/shop/KennaSatoDesigns
Kenny Clay Co handmade ceramic yarn bowls and more https://www.etsy.com/shop/KennyClayCo
Layer Tree steam bent wooden home goods https://www.etsy.com/shop/LayerTree
Lohtu Ceramics homemade stoneware ceramic mugs https://www.etsy.com/shop/LohtuCeramics
Lucy Siviter hand painted vases and jewelry boxes https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/LucySiviterDesign
Meadow Ceramics hand painted handcrafted porcelain homegoods https://www.meadowceramics.com
Mori Ceramics unique minimalist ceramics https://www.etsy.com/shop/MoriCeramics
MosMea hand painted stuffed toys and decorative pillows https://www.etsy.com/shop/MosMea
Mr Sogs handmade plush toys and cards https://www.etsy.com/shop/MrSogs
Mudrenko handmade minimalist animal ceramics https://www.etsy.com/shop/Mudrenko
My Crystal Moon Visions unique floral wreaths https://www.etsy.com/shop/KennaSatoDesigns
My Paper Crane handmade hand painted ceramics https://heidikenney.com/collections/ceramics
Ponky Wots funky handmade ceramics https://ponkywots.com
Rose Dufton handmade floral ceramics https://www.rosedufton.com
Scary Gary Creations fairy and gargoyle garden decorations https://www.etsy.com/shop/ScaryGarycreations
Shop Paly Glass handmade pressed flower glassware https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/shoppalyglass
Signed and Numbered odd sized picture frame specialists https://www.etsy.com/shop/signedandnumbered
Skullpturas taxidermy home goods https://www.skullpturas.com
Sweet Susie Marie cloth napkins https://www.etsy.com/shop/SweetSusieMarie
Tabby Divine custom resin and crystal pieces https://www.tabbydivine.com
Tiny Terrains terrarium and plant gift shop https://www.etsy.com/shop/TinyTerrains
The Creeping Moon spooky nature themed https://www.etsy.com/shop/TheCreepingMoon
Woodcut Emporium hand made wood and lino block prints https://www.etsy.com/shop/WoodcutEmporium
Yuva Kala crystal wreaths https://www.yuvakala.com
Jewelry
Anna Siivonen silver and bronze casted jewelry https://www.etsy.com/shop/AnnaSiivonen
Blue Heron Jewelry handmade raw jewelry and hair accessories https://www.etsy.com/shop/BlueHeronJewelry
Colleen Roxas handpainted wood jewelry pins and keychains https://www.etsy.com/shop/colleenroxas
Dream Wings beautiful ethically sourced handmade glass pressed butterfly jewelry https://www.dreamwingsjewelry.com
Fiddle Fig Fern beaded earrings and felted gnomes https://www.etsy.com/shop/FiddleFigFern Fold it Creations handmade original origami jewelry and pins https://www.etsy.com/shop/folditcreations
GlassHeart glass body jewelry gauges https://www.etsy.com/shop/glassheartstudio
Glass Man Cometh glass jewelry https://www.etsy.com/shop/GlassManCometh
Isabelle Ferland unique mixed metal and wood hair accessories https://www.etsy.com/shop/IsabelleFerland
JLamon Creations wire wrapped jewelry https://www.etsy.com/shop/JLamonCreations
Juneauri dainty handmade jewelry https://www.etsy.com/shop/juneauri
Kenai female run hawaiian jewelry https://www.keanihawaii.com
Kitsuglit ethically sourced bone jewelry and home goods https://www.kintsugilt.co.uk
Kitty Bomb Cuiros ethically sourced bone and crystal art and jewelry https://kittybombcurios.com
Knyazhna Accessories macrame jewelry https://www.etsy.com/shop/KnyazhnaAccessories
Marth Rotten spooky silver jewelry https://www.etsy.com/shop/MarthaRotten
Nana Williams spooky floral designed jewelry and pins https://nanawilliams.com/store
OctopusMe Designs octopus/tentacle themed jewelry https://www.etsy.com/shop/OctopusMe
Ofelway glass jewelry https://www.etsy.com/au/shop/OfelWay
Opened Jesus skull rings and jewelry https://www.etsy.com/shop/Openedjesus
Nirvana Glass Mods glass jewelry gauges https://www.etsy.com/shop/NirvanaGlassMods
Pisces Island layered jewelry https://www.etsy.com/shop/PiscesIsland
Riverstone Jewelry exotic beads and amulets sourced from around the world https://riverstonejewelry.com
Ring Crush raw gemstone jewelry https://www.etsy.com/shop/Ringcrush
Shop Glowworm tarot card earrings https://www.etsy.com/shop/ShopGlowRoom
The Deadly Stake handmade jewelry with a dark edge https://www.etsy.com/shop/thedeadlystake/
Vermeer Jewelry hand carved pearl skull jewelry https://www.etsy.com/shop/VermeerJewelry
Wolf and Hemlock witchy gothic jewelry https://www.wolfandhemlock.com
Fine Jewelry
Black Tree Lab nature and ancient history inspired jewelry https://www.etsy.com/shop/BlackTreeLab
DiamondsbyJo fine diamond and gemstone jewelry solid platinum earrings https://www.etsy.com/shop/DiamondsbyJo
Henry Rocky custom fine jewelry https://www.etsy.com/shop/HenryRocky
Rhea Secrets organic line metal work https://www.etsy.com/shop/RheaSecrets
Pets
Binky Bunny house bunny handmade toys and community https://binkybunny.com
Bubblegum Paws Cat Toys hand stitched cat toys https://www.etsy.com/shop/BubblegumPawsCatToys
FurociousKitty fun cat and small dog collars https://www.etsy.com/shop/FurociousKitty
Niaski cat collars and apparel https://www.etsy.com/shop/Niaski
Silky Selkie Designs cat collars, toys and stickers ​​https://www.etsy.com/shop/SilkySelkieDesigns
Pins & stickers
Alum and Ink space and ocean life themed https://www.etsy.com/shop/alumandink
Brit Sketch cute mermaid, tropical disney inspired art https://www.etsy.com/shop/britsketch
Bunny Dee cute cat themed https://www.etsy.com/shop/bunnydee
Coey and Shy gothic themed https://www.etsy.com/shop/CoeyAndShy
Coffee Monsterz Co hand drawn stickers and stationary https://thecoffeemonsterzco.com
Frog Tree Games amphibian themed art https://www.etsy.com/shop/FrogTreeGames
Foxflight Studios LGBT friendly pins and patches https://www.etsy.com/shop/Foxflightstudios
The Gorgonist cute angry crow stickers and other fun designs https://www.etsy.com/shop/theGorgonist
Infinite Shop celestial themed pins and art https://www.etsy.com/shop/UltraInfiniteShop
Landis Blair Illustration gothic black and white prints and pins https://www.etsy.com/shop/LandisBlair
Leeza Works black cat and cat themed gifts https://www.etsy.com/shop/LeezaWorks
Linggo anatomical stickers and art https://www.etsy.com/shop/Linggo
Marshmallow Darling cottagecore https://www.etsy.com/shop/MarshmallowDarling
Mo Pins superhero themed pins https://www.etsy.com/shop/MoPins
Nimasprout nature and animal themed https://www.etsy.com/shop/nimasprout
Owl and Bear animal themed shirts and pins and stickers https://www.etsy.com/shop/OwlAndBearArtStudio
Paper Minty Studio hand drawn stickers and illustrations https://www.etsy.com/shop/PaperMintyStudio
Papio Press nature and animal illustrative prints https://www.etsy.com/ca/shop/PapioPress
Paracosm Factory cute and landscape stickers and pins https://www.etsy.com/shop/ParacosmFactory
Rebekah Evans Art quirky watercolor animal art https://www.etsy.com/shop/RebekahEvansArt
Star Salts spooky and celestial themed stickers and pins https://www.etsy.com/shop/starsalts
Sunflower Winters magical and cheerful stickers https://www.etsy.com/shop/sunflowerwinters
Plants
Botanicaz rare plants https://www.etsy.com/shop/Botanicaz
Keks Plantaradise tropical plants https://www.etsy.com/shop/KeksPlantaradise
SuccieLife succulents https://www.etsy.com/shop/SuccieLife
Sweet Succulentz succulents https://www.etsy.com/shop/SweetSucculentz
Plant by Lynn house plants https://www.etsy.com/shop/PlantByLynn
Planty Pearl House house plants https://www.etsy.com/shop/PlantyPearlShop
The One Succulents succulents https://www.etsy.com/shop/TheOneSucculents
Pens
Organics studio handmade fountain pen ink https://www.organicsstudio.com

It was my last week at my [stressful] internship last week. So, I'm thankful for all these cards that brightened my day while I was swamped with preparing final deliverables during my last few days as an intern :')
u/GizmoDOS - Thank you for the lovely monichateum humboldtianum (pink princess flower) card and the facts about it! It is unfortunate that it is almost impossible to find in the wild, but it's still lovely nonetheless.
u/ContessaLolaMontez (x2) - Thank you for the fabulous handmade card that also came along with another card and some goodies to pass along! Even though you stuck one on the envelope, once I opened up the card I knew there were some scratch & sniff stickers in there. haha. def bought back some memories
u/sleepylions - I absolutely love the card you made and your motivational message as I'm heading into my final year of my masters program! Also, I love how you decorated the envelope and all the stickers that came with it!!
u/Intrepid-Researcher (x3) - ahhh, I absolutely loved all the content that you sent me! It was all AMAZING. From the tacky tourist card from where you live to all the confetti and from the stickers to the origami bird, it was all wonderful!!! Sending many thanks!
u/Sulleys_monkey - Thank you for the Toy Story card! I enjoyed reading about your experience "watching" Paranormal Activity 3. haha
u/welshfancy (x2) - I loved the cat postcard and the cookie card you sent me!! All the cats on the card are absolutely adorable. It is unfortunate that this was a small set. And the cookie card is just delicious. Definitely made me crave some famous Sweet Martha Cookies from my state's fair (which I went yesterday and got a bucket full of)!
u/retrorabbit79 - I saw that you had a username change from u/reclusiverabbit! Anyway, thank you for the postcard from the Jersey Shore! I enjoyed reading about your vacation. I'm glad you had a great time!!
u/AppleCritter723 - Your dinosaur card is hilarious and I absolutely love it because of how great it is (rip dinos). I love what you believe maiasaura were doing way back when. Also, thank you for the stegosaurus stickers and tattoo!
u/flying_goldfish_tier - Thank you for the lovely random card filled with wonderful frog facts! My favorite was fact #4 -- ribbit indeed. haha
u/zenshark33 (x2) - Thank you for the peony card and the sticker card. I believe I mentioned peonies were my favorite in your offer post, so I really do love this card! And the stickers are so sparkly, which is so great!!
u/ez330 - Thank you for the beautiful US floral card! I also love the quote you sent me. It was a good reminder for me as I have to begin networking again. haha
u/VeganAilurophile - You're welcome for the surgery cards! This butterfly card you sent me is absolutely beautiful. And thank you for complimenting my handwriting. But I think your handwriting is much lovelier than mine. haha.
u/rosecoloredlife - Thank you for the wonderful women in science card! I think astronomy is so cool as well -- even though I didn't really enjoy my astronomy class during undergrad. haha. But as a public health student, I have to say my favorite side of science is public health (I will fight people who say there isn't science involved...just look at this covid pandemic as an example)
u/onelittlericeball - The mermaid invitation is lovely. I just really love how sparkly and glittery it is!! Congrats on the new flair again. Can't wait for you to celebrate many more new ones!
u/hippo-party - I absolutely love this googly eye dog card you sent me!! It's just so adorable. Also, thank you for the dog sticker and a mini card of a cat! And as someone who loves flowers, I have to compliment the floral envelope as well -- it is beautiful!
u/LaCuntessa - Thank you for the amazing lenticular Zion National Park card!! I haven't seen a lenticular picture in a long time and I have always wanted to visit Zion NP, so this was truly amazing. Also, I loved all the stickers that were decorated on the card!!
u/SuspiciousShower666 - I saw that you had a username change from u/ButterClaw! Anyway, thank you for the motivational postcard! I really hope my birthday card to you has finally made it to you safely. haha
u/Nohumidity - Thank you for the beautiful orchid card (that also had an orchid stamp and sticker)!! Also, thank you for the lovely little motivational/reminder message you wrote inside. It was very much needed!
u/Craftea052 - The corgi card you sent me is absolutely adorable! And the facts you wrote about your own little corgi is adorable as well!! Give your corgi some cuddles from me!
u/OneDarkandStormyKnit - Thank you for the beautiful postcard! Sending you good vibes from the other side of the Great Lakes as well!
u/raveiin - Thank you for the random card of Portugal! And even though you say you aren't an artist, that fish in a fishbowl drawing is definitely better if I attempted to draw the same thing. haha
u/Championvilla - Thank you for the Las Vegas card! I also recently visited an M&M store as well (the one at Mall of America in Minnesota. haha)!! I hope you had a great trip!
u/Ohio_Geo - Thank you for the random "Where's Waldo?" card! I was excited when I saw this in my mailbox since I haven't done a Where's Waldo in ages. Anyway, I found Waldo pretty quickly. haha
u/Traditional_Brush719 - Thank you for the beautiful card illustrating some blue mountains! I searched up Point Defiance Park and it is absolutely beautiful. I will make sure to check it out when I'm (hopefully) out exploring the West Coast next summer!
u/enigmabc987 - Thank you for the beautiful postcard! I'm also on the same boat as you. I can't wait to travel internationally again and for some cool/chill weather again!

Well, it had been a wild road trip on Shadow Border but at last I arrived to Wandering Sea HQ and awaiting for Onilands to appear. It was a hell of various feels in this tour.
First things first I must say seeing it as yourself is better than heard from the spoilers. Despite knowing about Alien God's invasion I didn't expected that our world except Lostbelt just turned in to the Tyranid's after party left over. I know Brodime has a good intention to strenghten humanity before the final fight but seeing the world wipped clean and knowing some people out there still alive, awaited for the doom in the endless wasteland are disturbed me.
Beside, the bleached world look like our world just turned into a huge salt from our gacha. Just kidding.
Anyway, now I know why I must finished Lostbelt 2 just to participate Onilands. Because this event will be a stage that Sitonai can be playable after she aided us in Nordic land. I didn't expected Illya is the one who aid me in this road trip.
Another thing is my encounter of 'Sigurd'. I know our actual Sigurd is a wholesome chad but when I met that Kaiba wannabe douchbag who all bragged his supeority I have an impression that our man Sigurd is under the mad enchancement that Ophelia might put on him to gained advantage to us. I didn't expected it was Surtr, Son of a Bitch that was possesed Sigurd. No wonder why our normally bro Sigurd acting like a... well... son of a bitch.
My sole frustation of this Lostbelt is there is no place for my Brynhildr to have any action since Scandinavian Lostbelt are infested with Rider, Assassin, Caster and Berserker with Saber and Lancer boss battle. So instead, this Lostbelt is the super fun time brotrip between Nobu and Napoleon with Helena and MarthaRuler tagging along. I hope my dear Helena like the view and have fun with those guy. I might have her tour her beloved India next.
Meanwhile, Ushi (assassin), Kojiro, Jackie and Izou having a guard duty at Shadow Border while Goredolf, Da Vinci and the rest trying to make our car up and runing after Surtr stole our navigation origami. I am proud of them so much when the fought variantly against the horde of valkyries and can hold them at bay until my team arrived. I also commend our fearless leader Goredolf for his willing to adapt, keep calm even under presure and willing to protect our team from the harm. I am sure if our Director Olga still be with us she would be like Goredolf. I hope she may find peace.
Also my B team that was Melt, my own Skadi and Okita are doing well against tree seed ambush. But Okita just got goofed when I forget that Valkyrie Trio have evade piercing np. Render all three evade are useless. But still I want my own Skadi having a tour in her own home.
I actually want to make this chapter a stage for Nobu and Napoleon to shine and Nobu still got it after she make Sigurd/Surtr her bitch 4 times in a row. But after Surtr leave Sigurd and turn into true form I am not sure Nobu might have enough damage to the fire giant. Oh well... Seeing Tomoe throwing a 60ft fire giant into the sky is a sight to behold. On the other note, does anyone noticed that almost our senpai in Lostbelt who we suppost to fight are screwed up in their plan and scheme somewhere and we must help them clean up their mess. Kardoc I understand that he try to staged us to fight him but Ophelia screwed up big time when she summoned a sexual harassment fire giant instead of brochad dragon slayer. At least Surtr dies like he was... a son of a bitch.
And then I have arrived the finale. I must say... Even I steeled myself and know what will coming. I can't help but shed a tear like never before since I play Undertale. The line Skadi brought up and the music shaking my heart so much. I have doubt even we defeat Surtr and bring a chance to this Lostbelt, bringing the rest of humanity back up from the 3000 years stagnation with just single goddess and valkyrie is a lost cause for me... a false hope. Even that I feel like a dick robbing this land's future and hope from their hand. But Skadi didn't blamed us or accused us she just encourage us to fight with our future in the line. She encourage us to move on and I willing doing so to honor her.
But even that seeing the last moment of Gerda is the most powerful last hook to me. It was sad, wholesome and the beautifully writen. I almost cry when I see her doing a one last hop and become one with the wind of the Scandinavian sea... I didn't even propely say goodbye to her as a Gudako...
Well, at least that's... worth it, right? Now I can goes to Onilands and claim Magical Girl Shuten just like I was saying week ago... So... why it was still raining...? Why my eyes still wet...?
Well, are you guys ready to cerebrate this year halloween? How is your progress? See you at the Onilands every masters of Chaldea from across dimension. I am going to preparing myself... and washing my face... damn rain are still in my eyes.

1. Tom Angleberger (Origami Yoda, The Mighty Chewbacca in the Forest of Fear!, “Whills”)
   
2. S.A. Chakraborty (The Daevabad Trilogy)†
   
3. Mike Chen (A Beginning at the End)†
   
4. Adam Christopher (“End of Watch”)
   
5. Zoraida Córdova (A Crash of Fate, “You Owe Me a Ride”)
   
6. Delilah S. Dawson (Phasma, Galaxy’s Edge: Black Spire, “The Secrets of Long Snoot”)
   
7. Tracy Deonn (Legendborn)†
   
8. Seth Dickinson (The Monster Baru Cormorant)†
   
9. Alexander Freed (Battlefront: Twilight Company, Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (Novel), Battlefront II, Alphabet Squadron, “Contingency Plan”)
   
10. Jason Fry (Countless guides and adaptations, The Last Jedi (Novel), “Duty Roster”)
    
11. Christie Golden (Fate of the Jedi saga, Dark Disciple, Battlefront II: Inferno Squad, “The Bucket”)
    
12. Hank Green (An Absolutely Remarkable Thing)†
    
13. Rob Hart (The Warehouse)†
    
14. E. K. Johnston (Ahsoka, Queen’s Shadow, Queen’s Peril, “By Whatever Sun”)
    
15. Lydia Kang (A Beautiful Poison)†
    
16. Michael Kogge (Countless Star Wars articles, short stories, guides, and junior adaptations)
    
17. R.F. Kuang (The Poppy War)†
    
18. C.B. Lee (Sidekick Squad)†
    
19. Mackenzi Lee (The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue)†
    
20. John Jackson Miller (Lost Tribe of the Sith, Knights of the Old Republic (Comics), Knight Errant, Kenobi, A New Dawn, “Rites”)
    
21. Michael Moreci (Star Wars Adventures)
    
22. Daniel José Older (Last Shot, “Born in the Storm”)
    
23. Mark Oshiro (Anger is a Gift)†
    
24. Amy Ratcliffe (Several Insider articles, Women of the Galaxy)
    
25. Beth Revis (Rebel Rising, “Fully Operational”)
    
26. Lilliam Rivera (The Education of Margot Sanchez)†
    
27. Cavan Scott (Star Wars Adventures, Dooku: Jedi Lost)
    
28. Emily Skrutskie (The Abyss Surrounds Us)†
    
29. Karen Strong (A Phoenix First Must Burn)†
    
30. Anne Toole (Horizon: Zero Dawn (Video game))†
    
31. Catherynne M. Valente (Palimpsest)†
    
32. Austin Walker (VICE Waypoint (website))†
    
33. Martha Wells (Razor’s Edge)
    
34. Django Wexler (The Shadow Campaigns)†
    
35. Kiersten White (Paranormalcy)†
    
36. Gary Whitta (Rogue One (first draft), several Rebels episodes, “Raymus”, The Last Jedi (Comic))
    
37. Brittany N. Williams (That Self Same Metal)†
    
38. Charles Yu (How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe)†
    
39. Jim Zub (Thunderbolts (Comic), Uncanny Avengers (Comic), Champions (Comic))†
    

† SW debut
Stories in quotes are from FaCPoV
Technically Jim Zub has worked in SW before as a colorist for an eigth-page story in Star Wars Tales #19 in 2004, but I decided not to count that
So that’s 22 new authors out of the 39 announced
Only 12 of the announced authors wrote a story for FaCPoV

1. Tom Angleberger (Origami Yoda, The Mighty Chewbacca in the Forest of Fear!, “Whills”)
   
2. S.A. Chakraborty (The Daevabad Trilogy)†
   
3. Mike Chen (A Beginning at the End)†
   
4. Adam Christopher (“End of Watch”)
   
5. Zoraida Córdova (A Crash of Fate, “You Owe Me a Ride”)
   
6. Delilah S. Dawson (Phasma, Galaxy’s Edge: Black Spire, “The Secrets of Long Snoot”)
   
7. Tracy Deonn (Legendborn)†
   
8. Seth Dickinson (The Monster Baru Cormorant)†
   
9. Alexander Freed (Battlefront: Twilight Company, Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (Novel), Battlefront II (Video game), Alphabet Squadron, “Contingency Plan”)
   
10. Jason Fry (Countless guides and adaptations, The Last Jedi (Novel), “Duty Roster”)
    
11. Christie Golden (Fate of the Jedi saga, Dark Disciple, Battlefront II: Inferno Squad, “The Bucket”)
    
12. Hank Green (An Absolutely Remarkable Thing)†
    
13. Rob Hart (The Warehouse)†
    
14. E. K. Johnston (Ahsoka, Queen’s Shadow, Queen’s Peril, “By Whatever Sun”)
    
15. Lydia Kang (A Beautiful Poison)†
    
16. Michael Kogge (Countless Star Wars articles, short stories, guides, and junior adaptations)
    
17. R.F. Kuang (The Poppy War)†
    
18. C.B. Lee (Sidekick Squad)†
    
19. Mackenzi Lee (The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue)†
    
20. John Jackson Miller (Lost Tribe of the Sith, Knights of the Old Republic (Comics), Knight Errant, Kenobi, A New Dawn, “Rites”)
    
21. Michael Moreci (Star Wars Adventures (Comics))
    
22. Daniel José Older (Last Shot, “Born in the Storm”)
    
23. Mark Oshiro (Anger is a Gift)†
    
24. Amy Ratcliffe (Several Insider articles, Women of the Galaxy)
    
25. Beth Revis (Rebel Rising, “Fully Operational”)
    
26. Lilliam Rivera (The Education of Margot Sanchez)†
    
27. Cavan Scott (Star Wars Adventures (Comics), Dooku: Jedi Lost)
    
28. Emily Skrutskie (The Abyss Surrounds Us)†
    
29. Karen Strong (A Phoenix First Must Burn)†
    
30. Anne Toole (Horizon: Zero Dawn (Video game))†
    
31. Catherynne M. Valente (Palimpsest)†
    
32. Austin Walker (VICE Waypoint (website))†
    
33. Martha Wells (Razor’s Edge)
    
34. Django Wexler (The Shadow Campaigns)†
    
35. Kiersten White (Paranormalcy)†
    
36. Gary Whitta (Rogue One (first draft), several Rebels episodes, “Raymus”, The Last Jedi (Comic))
    
37. Brittany N. Williams (That Self Same Metal)†
    
38. Charles Yu (How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe)†
    
39. Jim Zub (Thunderbolts (Comic), Uncanny Avengers (Comic), Champions (Comic))†
    

† SW debut
Stories in quotes are from FaCPoV
Technically Jim Zub has worked in SW before as a colorist for an eigth-page story in Star Wars Tales #19 in 2004, but I decided not to count that
So that’s 22 new authors out of the 39 announced
Only 12 of the announced authors wrote a story for FaCPoV

For a quick, easier search - http://www.isthisanmlm.com/ has compiled this whole thread. Special thanks to u/SHIFTnSPACE. - This is now a part of the sidebar as a button widget!

What is an MLM?

Multi-level marketing (MLM), also called pyramid selling, network marketing, and referral marketing, is a marketing strategy for the sale of products or services where the revenue of the MLM company is derived from a non-salaried workforce selling the company's products/services, while the earnings of the participants are derived from a pyramid-shaped or binary compensation commission system. ​
THIS LIST MAY CONTAIN COMPANIES THAT HAVE PREVIOUSLY HAD MLM BRANCH BUT MAY NO LONGER HAVE ONE.
If you see a company and are not sure that it belongs on this list, please reach out. I have compiled this list from the sources listed at the bottom along with input from community members. This list may not be 100% accurate but the goal is to get it as close as possible.
31 - Bags
5Linx - Home & Business Services
Abby & Anna - Clothing
ACAN Pacific - Utilities
ACN - Utilities
ActiLabs - Skincare/Health
Adornable.U - Accessories
Advocare - Dietary Supplements
AeroGrow - Garden Tools
Agnes & Dora - Clothing
AIM Global - Nutritional Supplements
Akasuka (Japan) -
Alcone - Beauty
Alice's Table - Flower Arrangement Classes
All'asta - Home Goods
Allysian Sciences -
Aloe Vera of America (Young Living) - Nutritional Supplements
Aloette - Beauty
Alphay Int - Nutritional Supplements
AlureVe - Skincare/Health
Amare Global - Nutritional Supplements
Ambit - Utilities
Amelia James -
Ameo - Essential Oils
American Income Life - Financial
Amsoil - Motor Oil
Amway - Health/Beauty/Home Goods
Ann Summers - Product
Ann Summers (UK) - Adult Novelties
Anorak (UK) - Home Goods
Anran (China) -
Apollo (India) - Juice
Apriori - Skincare/Health
AquaSource UK - Nutritional Supplements
Arbonne - Skincare/Health
ARIIX - Water Purification
Arsoa Honsha (Japan) - Fitness/Weight Loss
Asea Global - Nutritional Supplements
Asirvia (shut down) - Marketing
Aspire/Digital Altitude - Marketing
ATC Coin - Crypto Currency
Athena's - Adult Novelties
Atomy - Skincare/Health
Ava Anderson -
Ava Rose - Clot
Avisae - Weight Loss
Avon - Beauty
b:hip Global - Health
Bachar Nutrition - Nutritional Supplements
Bamboo Pink - Jewelry
Barefoot Books - Books
Bath.Ologie - Bath Bombs
Beach Body - Fitness/Weight Loss Videos
BearCereju (Japan) - Cosmetics
BeautiControl -
Beauty Counter - Cosmetics
Beauty Society - Beauty
beCAUSE Cosmetics - Cosmetics
Become International (US & AUS) - Cosmetics
Bedroom Kandi - Adult Novelties
Beever (UK) - Hair Care
BelCorp (Latin America) - Cosmetics
Bellame - Skincare/Health
Bemer - Appliances
Better Way Design/Imports - Clothing
Biogreen Argentina -
BioPerformance - Automotive (Fuel Pills)
Bod-e Pro - Nutritional Supplements
Body by Vi/Visalus - Health
Body Shop at Home - Beauty
Boisset Collection - Wine
Boston Finney (shut down) -
Bounce Life/Network - Insurance
Bud Star (Canada) - CBD/THC Products
BurnLounge (shut down as pyramid scheme by FTC in 2012) -
Buskins - Clothing
Butterfly Beauty - Cosmetics
Cabi - Clothing
Cambridge Weight Plan/Diet - Dietary Supplements
CAN - Utilities
Captain Tortue - Clothing
Carico Int - Home Goods
Celebrating Home - Home Goods
Cellements - Skincare/Health
CEO Movement (Not MLM but scammy) -
Chalk Couture - Chalkboard Signs
Chalky & Co - Home Goods
Chandeal (Japan) - Clothing
Charle (Japan) - Clothing
Charlie's Project - Clothing
Chef's Toolbox (AUS) (Insolvency) - Kitchen Accessories
Cherish Natural Products -
Chloe & Isabel - Jewelry
Clever Container - Home Goods
Close to My Heart - Scrapbooking
Cloud 9 Parties - Adult Novelties
Cobra Group/Appco -
Cocoa Exchange - Food
Color by Amber - Jewelry
Color Happy -
Color Street - Nail Wraps
Colour Me Beautiful (UK) - Clothing
Compelling Creations - Jewelry
Conklin - Roofing
Cookie Lee (shut down) -
Cosway (Malaysia) - Health/Beauty/Home Goods
Country Scents - Product/Candles
Create Your Life - Health
Creative Memories - Scrapbooking
Credit Repair USA - Financial
Crunchi - Cosmetics
Cutco - Knives
CVSL - Multiple Companies
Daisy Blue Naturals - Personal Care
Damsel in Defense - Product/Self Defense
Darceys - Candles
David Lerner Associates, INC - Financial
Dazzle and Daze - Clothing
Deutsche vermögensberatung/Dvag (Germany) - Financial
Diana (Japan) -
Dione Cosmetics - Cosmetics
Direct Cellars/DC Nation - Wine
Discovery Toys - Educational Toys
Divvee/Nui -
Dot Dot Smile - Clothing
DoTERRA - Health/Oils
Du Northing Designs - Clothing
Dubli Network - Financial
Dudley Beauty - Cosmetics
DXN - Health/Beauty/Home Goods
Dynamic Essentials -
EcoWarehouse - Home Goods
Elepreneuer -
Elk River Soaps - Personal Care
Ella Tina - Clothing
Elli Kai - Clothing
Elvacity - Nutritional Supplements
EmGoldEx/Global Intergold -
Enagic/Kangen Water - Ionized Water
Endless Xpressions - Clothing/Accessories
Enersource Int - Nutritional Supplements
Enjo (AUS) - Cleaning Producs
Envy Jewelry - Jewelry
Epicure (Canada) - Food
Equinox International (dissolved in 2001) -
Ergo (Germany) - Insurance
Essante Organics -
Essential Bodywear - Clothing
European Grouping of Marketing Professionals/CEDIPAC SA (dissolved 1995) -
European Home Retail (dissolved 2007) -
Evanescence Network - Health
EVER Skincare - Skincare/Health
Evolution Travel - Product
EvolvHealth - Health
Faberlic (Russia) - Health/Beauty/Home Goods
Family First Life - Insurance
Family Heritage Insurance - Insurance
Fantasia - Adult Novelties
Fantasia (Canada) - Adult Novelties
Farmasi -
FES Connect - Financial
Fibi & Clo - Footwear
Fifth Ave Collection - Jewelry
First Fitness Nutrition - Dietary Supplements
Fit4Mom - Clothing
FITTEAM Global - Dietary Supplements
Flamingo Paperie - Art
Fleuresse -
FM World (UK) -
For Tails Only - Pet Supplies
Forever Living - Health/Oils
Forex Education (iMarkets Live branch) - Crypto
Forex Entourage - Financial
Fortune Hi-Tech Marketing (dissolved 2013) -
Four Oceans - Health
Fragant Jewels - Bathbombs
FreeLife - Nutritional Supplements
Frontrow -
Fuel Freedom Int - Automotive
Fund America (Bankrupt 1990) -
Gano Excel - Nutritional Supplements
GelMoment - Beauty
Gemstra - Jewelry
Genesis Pure - Nutritional Supplements
Global Legacy Initiative -
GoDesana - Pet
Gold Canyon - Product/Candles
Golden Days (China) - Health
Grace & Heart - Jewelry
Green HoriZen - CBD
Greeting Cake Company - Cake Kits
H2O At Home - Personal Care
Hale - CBD Oil
Hanky Panky Parties (Canada) - Adult Novelties
Happy Coffee - Coffee
Harvard Risk Management (Legal Shield) -
Hayward's Gourmet Popcorn - Food
HB Naturals - Health
He(L)o - Health
Healthy Peach - Dietary Supplements
Heavenly Chia - Food
Heka Corp - Fitness
Helo Wristbands - Health
HempWorx - Health
Herbalife - Health
Heritage Makers - Scrapbooking
Hinode - Cosmetics
Holiday Magic (shut down) -
Home Interiors - Home Goods
Honey - Beauty
Honey & Lace - Clothing
Hualin Biotech (China) - Health
iCoinPro - Crypto Currency
ID Life - Health
Igniting Passion (Canada) - Adult Novelties
iMarketsLive - Financial Trading Software
Immunotec - Health
Imperial Candles (UK) - Candles
In a Pikle - Bags
Income Advantage -
India Hicks - Product/Accessories
Infinitus - Health
Initials, Inc - Bags
Inkd Up Nails - Beauty
innov8tive nutrition - Nutritional Supplements
InteleTravel - Travel
Intimo (AUS/NZ) - Adult Novelties
Isagenix - Dietary Supplements
ItWorks! - Health
J. Elizabeth - Clothing
J. Hilburn - Clothing
J.R Watkins -
Jafra - Beauty
Jamberry - Beauty
Jamby - Clothing
Jamie at Home (shut down) -
Janice Collection - Home Goods
Java Momma - Coffee
Javita - Coffee
Jbloom - Jewelry
Jequiti - Cosmetics
Jerky Direct -
Jeunesse - Beauty
Jewel Kade (31) - Jewelry
Jewelscent - Product/Candles
JK Apparel (Canada) - Clothing
Jordan Essentials - Beauty
JoyMain (China) - Health
Joyome (Plexus) - Beauty
JuicePlus - Nutritional Supplements
Jump Natural - Health
Kaesar & Blair -
Kalaia - Skincare/Health
Kalo & Co - Pearl/Jewelry
Kangen Water -
Kannaway - CBD Oil
Karat Bars - Gold
Kaszazz - Scrapbooking
Keep Collective - Jewelry
Keep Me Safe - Cos
KETO (Pruvit) -
Keto Coffee - Coffee
Ketones - Health
Kirby - Vacuums
Kleeneze - Home Goods
Kobold (Vorwerk) -
Kyani - Health
Labella Baskets - Home Goods
Lady Godiva Beauty - Cosmetics
Lavylites - Beauty
L'BRI - Beauty
LeadUp Consulting -
Legal Shield - Legal Services
LegArt (Canada) - Leggings
Legend Age (China) -
Legging Army - Clothing
Legging Girl - Clothing
Lemongrass Spa - Beauty
LeReve (Canada) - Cosmetics
Le-Vel (Thrive) - Health
Lia Sophia (dissolved) - Jewelry
Life Abundance - Pet
LIFE Leadership - Financial
Life Tree World - Food
LifeBrook -
LifePlus (US/Germany) - Dietary Supplements
Life's Abundance - Pet Supplies
LifeVantage - Dietary Supplements
Lilla Rose - Jewelry
Limelife - Skincare/Health
Limu - Health
Limu - Nutritional Supplements
Linen World - Home Goods
Lion Crown -
Lipsense - Beauty
Liv International - Travel
Live Sore - Clothing
Longabeger Company - Baskets
Longrich (China) - Beauty
Lorraine Lee Linen - Home Goods
Love Winx - Adult Novelties
LR Beauty & Health - Beauty
LuLaRoe - Clothing
Lulu Ave - Jewelry
Luminess - Cosmetics
Lyconet/Lyoness -
Lyoness - Financial
M. Global (Jamberry) - Jewelry
M. Network - Nutritional Supplements
Maelle Beauty - Beauty
Magnabilities - Jewelry
Magnolia & Vine - Jewelry
Makeup Eraser - Cosmetics
Man Cave - Kitchen Accessories
Mannatech - Dietary Supplements
Mark. - Financial
Market America - Health/Beauty/Home Goods
Marly Ray - Pearl/Jewelry
Marvelous Mouse Travels - Travel
Mary & Martha - Home Goods
MaryKay - Beauty
Maskara - Beauty
Matilda Jane - Clothing
Max & Madeleine - Skincare/Health
Maxwell Clothing - Clothing
MCA - Financial
Medifast - Nutritional Supplements
Melaleuca - Health/Beauty/Home Goods
Metabolife (dissolved in 2005) -
MiA Bath and Body (Closed) -
mialisia - Jewelry
Miche EU - Accessories
Miki (Asia) - Nutritional Supplements
MOA Nutrition - Nutritional Supplements
Modere -
MojiLife - Essential Oils
Monat - Hair Care
MonaVie (went into foreclosure 2015) -
Morinda Bioactives - Personal Care/Dietary Supplements
Motives Cosmetics - Cosmetics
Multpure - Water
My Club 8 - CBD Oil
My Daily Choice - Nutritional Supplements
My LALA Leggings - Clothing
myEcon - Financial
National Safety Associates - Dietary Supplements
National Wealth Center - Education
Natura (Brazil) - Cosmetics
Nature Direct (AUS) - Essential Oils
Nature's Sunshine Products - Dietary Supplements
Neal's Yard Remedies Organic - Beauty
NeoLife - Dietary Supplements
Neora (Nerium) -
Nerium - Skincare/Health
NeVetica - Pet Supplies
New Era (China) - Nutritional Supplements
New U Life - Health
Neways - Personal Care
Nikken -
Noevir - Beauty
Nomades - Jewelry
Noonday Collection - Jewelry
Norwex - Cleaning Producs
Nouveau Riche (real estate investment college) (dissolved 2010 -
Nspire Network - Feminine Products
NuCerity - Skincare/Health
NuSkin - Tooth Paste/Personal Care
Nutriboom -
NXIVM - Financial
Nygard - Clothing
Omnilife - Dietary Supplements
One Hope Wine - Wine
Optavia - Health
Opulenza - Jewelry
Organo Gold - Coffee
Oriflame - Personal Care
Origami Owl - Jewelry
Our Hearts Desire - Jewelry
Paid 2 Save - Travel
Pampered Chef - Kitchen Accessories
Paparazzi - Jewelry
Paperly - Paper
Park Lane Jewelry - Jewelry
Party Girl - Candles
Party Lite - Candles
Party Time Mixes - Food
PartyLite - Candles
Passion Parties - Adult Novelties
Pawtree - Pet
Paycation - Travel
Peach - Clothing
Pearl Chic - Pearl/Jewelry
Peekaboo Beans - Clothing
Perfect (China) - Cosmetics
Perfectly Polished - Beauty
Perfectly Posh - Beauty
Personally Poetic - Jewelry
PHP - Insurance
Pierre Lang - Jewelry
Pink Zebra - Candles
Piphany - Clothing
PixieLane - Clothing
Plexus - Health
Plumeria Bath - Beauty
Plunder - Jewelry
PM International - Health
Pola (Japan) - Skincare/Health
Poofy Organics - Beauty
Powur - Solar Panels
Premier Designs - Jewelry
Premier Financial - Financial
PrimeMyBody - Health
Primerica - Financial
Princess House - Kitchen Accessories
ProDoula -
ProYoung - Health
Pruvit - Health
Pulse Cosmetics - Cosmetics
Pure Haven - Cosmetics
Pure Romance - Product
PureHaven - Home Goods
PUREly - Essential Oils
Purium - Health
Qnet - Nutritional Supplements
Quanjian Natural (China) - Food
RadiantlyYou -
Rain International - Health
Rainbow Vacuum - Vacuums
Real Time Pain Relief - Health
Red Aspen - Beauty
RED Safety - Security
Regal Home and Gifts - Home Goods
Reliv - Health
Reliv - Nutritional Supplements
Renatus Real Estate - Education
RevitalU - Coffee/Health
Riway - Deer Placenta
Robert Kiyosaki -
Rodan+Fields - Beauty
Roland (Vorwerk) -
Rolmex (China) - Kitchen Accessories
Royal Tongan Limu (dissolved in 2003) -
Royaltie Gens - Marketing
Ruby Ribbon - Clothing
Saba - Health/Beauty
Sabika Jewelry - Jewelry
SafeGirl Security - Self Defense
Salad Master - Home Goods
SARSO (India) -
Scentsy - Health/Oils
Schneider's Gourmet World - Food
Scout & Cellar - Wine
Seacret - Beauty
SendOutCards - Gift Cards
Senegence - Skincare/Health
Shakeology (BeachBody) - Dietary Supplements
Shaklee - Dietary Supplements
Shopping Sherlock -
Shrimp & Grits - Clothing
Signature Homestyles - Home Goods
Silpada - Jewelry
Silver Icing - Jewelry
Simple Man - Personal Care
Simply Success Elite -
SimplyFun Games - Education
Skinny Body at Home - Dietary Supplements
SkinSanity/Tomorrow's Leaf - Skincare/Health
Smart Circle -
Smartway -
Solavei (dissolved 2015)[ -
Solvei (bankrupt) -
Sophie Paris (France/Asia) - Clothing
South Hill Designs - Jewelry
Southern Living at Home - Home Goods
SouthWestern Advantage - Education
Sseko - Clothing
Stampin Up - Paper
Steam Energy - Utilities
Steeped Tea - Tea
Stella & Dot - Clothing
Stream Energy - Financial
Style Dots - Jewelry
Success University - Education
Sun Hope (China) -
Sunrider - Health/Beauty/Home Goods
Sunset Gourmet - Food
Sunshine Empire (dissolved 2009) -
Surge 365 - Travel
Sweet Legs - Clothing
Sweet Minerals - Beauty
Symmetry Financial Group - Insurance
Syntek Global - Automotive
T.O.P Marketing Group -
TAG Team Marketing -
Taisei/Green Planet/Kaikisui (Japan_ - Purifiers
Tara at Home - Home Goods
Tastefully Simple - Food
Tavala - Health
Tealightful - Tea
Team National - Financial
TeDivina - Tea
Telecom Plus (UK) - Utilities
Telexfree (bankrupt 2014) -
The Advert Platfrom - Crypto Currency
The Body Shop at Home - Beauty
The Landmark Forum - Health
The Super Affiliate Network - Marketing
Thermomix (Vorwerk) -
Thirty One - Bags
Thrive - Health
Thrive Life - Food
Tiber River Naturals - Beauty
TKO WorldWide -
Tocara (Canada) - Jewelry
Tom James - Clothing
Total Life Changes/TLC - Health
TouchStone Crystal - Jewelry
Touchstone Essentials - Dietary Supplements
Tracy Negoshian - Clothing
Trades of Hope - Jewelry
Tranont - Financial
Transformational Beauty - Cosmetics
Travel Evolution - Travel
Traveling Vineyard - Wine
TraVerus Global - Travel
TriVita - Nutritional Supplements
Tropic Skin Care - Skincare/Health
True Peak Revolution (Europe) -
Truvision Health - Health
TS-Life - Nutritional Supplements
Tupperware - Tupperware
Unicity - Health
United Sciences of America (dissolved in 1987) -
United Warehouse (UK) -
US Health Advisors -
Usana - Nutritional Supplements
Usborne - Books
Utility Warehouse (UK) - Utilities
Valentus - Dietary Supplements
Vantel - Product/Pearls
Vasayo - Health
VectoCutco - Knives
Vemma - Dietary Supplements
viaOneHope - Wine
ViBella - Jewelry
VIC Cosmetics -
Vida Divina - Tea
Vie at Home (closed) -
Virtuity Financial Group (World Financial Group) -
ViSalus (Body by VI) - Dietary Supplements
Vitality Extracts - Essential Oils
VivaMK - Cleaning Producs
Volo - Health
Vorwerk - Home Goods
Votre Belle Maison (UK) - Giftware
Voxxlife - Health
Wakaya Perfection - Health
WakeUpNow (dissolved 2015) -
Watkins Inc - Health/Home Goods
Wealthperx - Travel
Wikaniko - Home Goods
Wildtree - Food
Willing Beauty - Beauty
Winasun - Health
Wine Shop at Home - Wine
Wines for Humanity - Wine
Wink Naturals - Health
World Financial Group/Pinnacle Leadership Development - Financial
World Leadership Group (dissolved in 2008) -
World Ventures/Wealth Wave/TKO WorldWide - Travel
WoTaBu - Travel
XanGo/Ziji - Health
Xerveo - Dietary Supplements
Xoom Energy - Utilities
Xooma - Weight Loss
Xstream Travel - Travel
Xyngular - Health
Yanbal Int - Jewelry
Yandi (China) - Nutritional Supplements
Yelloow - Beauty
Yevo (closed) -
Yofoto (China) - Health
Yoli - Health
Yoonla -
YOR Health - Weight Loss
Young Living - Health
Youngevity -
Younique - Beauty
YTB International - Travel
Zepter -
Zija - Health
Zilis - Health
Zinzino (Scandanavia) -
Zrii - Skincare/Health
Zurvita - Health
Zyia - Clothing
Zyn - Travel
TOTAL COUNT = 594 ​ This list will be continually updated (5/19/2020).
2018 Archived MLM Mega Thread
​
Sources: https://mlmtruth.org/2018/02/08/the-mlm-master-list/ , https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_multi-level_marketing_companies Special thanks to u/Copacetic1515 (I could not stick your thread)
​
For income disclosure information: Updated 2019 Thread
​
Other Helpful Links: Discussion about World Financial Group

My public confessions of the secret ugly truth of womanhood......
Several years ago after having three children, my OBGYN gave me no option but to have a hysterectomy. Several weeks ago, when I had to pee one day, I experienced the strange sensation of wiping my own bladder with toilet paper. I had no idea what the hell was really going on, but I knew enough to know I was wiping something I wasn’t suppose to. So I sat naked on the bathroom floor with a 5X magnified makeup mirror, and screamed out loud when I saw my bladder....and then, after having my bladder tacked to my esophagus with mesh and a sling this past Tuesday....I was hit...no......I was mind slaughtered, with a profound mental list of all the “never did I ever think I would experience or do this.....”. The more I laid in bed to recover, the more I pondered this list. The longer the list grew, the funnier it became. I’m going to absolutely destroy myself for one reason only...We women need to stick together at earlier time frames in our lives together. These little young things running around just like we did, and damn it was fun, need to know the sobering truth about aging as a woman. I am at the age where I value my girlfriends more than....well, we shan’t go there shan’t we? Point is...we need to warn them.
I was SUPER excited about getting a dose of Versed for my surgery on Tuesday. I legit wasn’t even remotely embarrassed when I clapped as the anesthesiologist introduced himself and stated what he was going to give me. It’s the best sleep you’ll ever have. And thank God they gave it to me. Bc I had no idea the knitty gritty details of this procedure until after I woke up and realized that I had been hoisted up with my ass in the air, head down, and my legs pulled apart in stirrups, in a 180 position. In laymen’s terms, that’s called a split. A SPLIT. Not even a side split. Full one. I now know what the hardcore SM porn stars feel like after a hard days work. They should get paid more.
Anyway.....back to the growing list of “never did I ever think I would ever do this before I married and had children”.....
Never ever did I think I would ever....Clean urine and pubes off toilet seats every single day of my life, and google better ways to scrub urine out of the grout around the toilet. It’s a huge open gaping beckoning hole right there in front of you. Why can’t they hit it? I even walked outside one day, in a fit of fury, in the privacy of my own back yard, and LITERALLY AND PHYSICALLY, “hooked it”, solely in a frustrated effort to privately prove to myself that I could pee standing up and hit a target right in front of me. I did. I hit it. Nailed it. Flawlessly. On the first try. Didn’t need no red or purple Skittles (cause the orange, yellow and green ones don’t work), no Cheerios, no Playboy magazines or an open window of Pornhub on the cell phone...not even a pat on ye ‘ol back. Somebody out there please make me a merit badge with gold rick rack on it.
Never did I ever think I would get to a point in my life where I had to accept the line I CLEARLY did not cross into a weird disgusting comfort zone where farts and sharts (yeah I said it, sharts) are no longer embarrassing for anyone else living in my home. There are no more excuse me’s. No more closing the doors when it’s quite obvious that our neighbors can hear it happening, no more efforts to fold a dirty pair of underwear to strategically try and hide a skid mark- nope, those truth telling brown lines stare proudly at the ceiling until I pick them up and clean them.
Never ever did I think I would get to the point where I would use SUPER EXTRA STRENGTH HULK tampons for the whole period....to be fair, it doesn’t happen to all women, but in my case......my periods became increasingly heavier to point that I questioned if I had passed a mouse in the toilet one morning. And then suddenly, as if a switch turned off, I was back in the game. No lead up, no trail off. Just BOOM YOU MIGHT HEMORRHAGE THIS TIME SO KEEP DILIGENT WATCH. It’s extremely disconcerting when you go from being able to use those tiny purple ones in the 3 size box, to owning and perfecting the ability to upkeep your smile and outward confidence as you experience the feeling of the largest tampon ever created in the the history of mankind seemlessly and effortlessly shoot out of you.
Oh- and never did I ever know that one day I would be aware that my labia would grow largelonger and change colors in unison with each passing year either. But guess what girls? Y’all out there taking crotch selfies....go with ya bad self- I’m not judging!! Hell, take them now, because when you get old, it all turns darker, flaps and claps, winds and knots itself uncomfortably around your g string (you’ll Ditch those too)....I do still layout naked at my pool bc my back yard is in the woods....but....all I’m saying is....if a strong gale of wind were to come through at the right time.....I could have a chance at flying. And no one ever told me that. Why not? Why in the hell not?
And while we are on the topic of naked selfies...go ahead and get some of your butthole and boobs too. Don’t use filters. I’ll be dead and gone, but one day you can visit my grave and leave a rock or a penny.....bc one day you’ll want to thank me. Why?
Never did I ever know ANYTHING. About post-pregnancy. I have given birth once naturally, and twice by c-section. During the last two births, I was on a very high risk list. For both pregnancies I was given a cerclage. A WHAT you ask? Oh dear sweet budding princess with the mid drift tank and high waisted jeans (that btw I BOSSED back in the 80’s....for real....SLASH, was on my wall...and he was my “go to guy...that makes me super tough and cool enough to write this, regardless if you have to google who he is), a cerclage is where they stick a huge needle, while you’re pregnant, directly into your spine to numb your body, but you’re awake the entire time....you watch and hear yourself get hoisted by the feet in the air like a hog, tied u in stirrups, and the use of a speculum to completely open up your longtime bestie VAGEENA, and then a surgeon uses a 5,600 inch needle and surgical thread to sew your cervix shut.....so you won’t go into labor. Again...to be fair.....this is rare so it probably will never happen to you. But other things will....
Like hearing yourself NASTY FART (the kind that in any other situation besides birth would make you want to take up another identity and immediately move to another state)in your doctors face, literally being able to watch his/her hair blow back from their face, and being able to smell it, but unable to stop it, curb it, or even say I’m sorry bc you’re in the middle of pushing out, or getting cut open like a deer being field dressed on a hill, a baby who is waaaaaaay bigger than that big silicone human fist you and your girlfriends laughed about in that dildo store that day.
Never in my entire life, did I ever hear about, learn, understand, or ponder the word HEMORRHOIDS. No one ever told me. Not one woman sat me down and tried to prepare me for them... for the intense life altering pain and suffering.....for what they look like.....it’s a for real nightmare worse than any horror movie. In fact, I may even be so bold as to say that I’d be willing to bet ALL the women who don’t get scared AT ALL during scary horror movies, are dealing with hemorrhoids. I’m also, because I’m feeling particularly saucy tonight, gonna throw another big girl word at you that flies out of freaking NOWHERE. Sound it out with me E-P-I-S-I-O-T-O-M-Y......great job!....that’s when the doctor takes a scalpel during labor, and cuts you, from vagina to butthole (sometimes....sometimes it’s just a small cut) if they think the baby is going to RIP your taint open in a jagged fashion. Either way, the healed results can sometimes, dare I say, vary? Back to the hemorrhoids. Never did I ever think, in my wildest dreams, after I gave birth to my beautiful baby, that my trusty butthole, Ol’ Faithful, would look like that hippie overpriced organic purple cauliflower that no one ever buys in the supermarket. And you know what? My solid faith in you as a young inexperienced precious young lady assures me that you’ve finally gotten to the point in this post where your are rolling your eyes and laughing and saying, this old lady is crazy and spinning a damn tale......dear sweet youthful female fox...I implore you to keep reading bc I’m not finished and I’m not exaggerating. There’s more. And the reason I’m telling you is bc YOU shop where the purple cauliflower pops up, but you’ve never bought it....bc eewwwww gross. You buy into all of what is cool, just like I did....
Moving along.
Never did I ever think I would one day be literally unable to bend forward enough to see my own butthole or vagina. Never ever did I think I would ever reach down with an anxiety filled heart into the hell pits of my own soul to summon the ability and sheer will JUST to be able to ignore the pain long enough to carefully and blindly probe my own butthole like I was Stevie Wonder reading Braille. And then, to make matters worse, the anesthesia from surgery, coupled with pain meds always create an incredible and noteworthy parting gift that settles in your lower colon, and it’s the size and density of a softball. And you cannot pass it. Depending on your age and movie knowledge, you may hear out of nowhere Gandalf whispering YOU SHALL NOT PASS. And, trust me, it won’t....until you drink the SECRET FORMULA that ALSO no one tells you about until you have to drink it. And then.......when it works, you have to invite a buddy to attend your coming out party. Choose your partner wisely my prideful sister. Because then.....
Never did I ever think I would ever lean on my best girlfriends, through blinding tears, to take pics of my butthole with their cell phones so i could actually see the state of things. And if this happens to you......when that flash lights up, and you must come to terms with the situation, and face the monstrosity of your new gatekeeper, your pride overrides everything and you finally break down and call the doctor who not only birthed your baby, but also whom you farted and pooped on during the whole process. That will pop into your mind several times throughout your life....for absolutely no reason. Anyway...huge point here....surround yourself with either good trustworthy women who will take ALL your skeletons to the grave. Women who have proven themselves time after time over decades that they are your ride or die. Women who get more angry than you do when someone angers you. BUT....and I say this with the utmost carefulness and quiet respect for the secret behind the scene strategies of all the female servants throughout history who have served the queens of successful countries....or, especially if really believe you ARE the queen.....if you don’t have that trusted girlfriend circle luxury, and you’re in a pinch, make sure it’s someone you know something really bad about. I know...I know...that’s so damn tacky. And horrid...I personally would never do that....but, every situation different, and sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures....so, because someone will have pics of your VAGEENA, whom you haven’t thought of at all until you finally see her dilapidated state in the pic, it’s smart to be wise and cautious. Vageena will be completely unrecognizable. Forgotten. Extremely hairy that defies any resemblance of growth patterns. Probably with gross evidence of cotton fuzz stuck in it from the elephant sized made in China maxi pads they give you in the hospital that will not stick to those androgynous marriage killing mesh underwear, or just plain old toilet paper dingle berries. VAGEENA will not resemble any crotch shot you’ve ever taken. There will be NO filter that can help you, unless it’s a vintage 70s throwback to Marilyn Chambers. She’ll just be sitting there, unapologetically open, covered in hair you never knew you had in you to grow, looking back at you in the mirror like a long forgotten disgusted fair weather friend who is now just a memory you really can’t afford to waste time on at the moment....BECAUSE.....
Never did I ever hear a damn thing about any of this.....but especially and specifically, I’d like to move on to something more important and worse......it’s about Lidocaine Anal Rockets.
I shit you not. LIDOCAINE ANAL ROCKET. In the WORD of Lizzo, this is not an “accessorary”. As fruitful as I am with my use of sarcasm, I did not make that name up. When the PA and attending nurse first used the term over the phone, I heard “anal rocket” and, after thoroughly and honestly analyzing it, I was probably just energized by hearing it....rocket just made me think, FINALÉ, like the light at the end of the tunnel...fireworks means freedom and I just, I guess, associated freedom with THIS is gonna fix my butthole and I will NO LONGER (I probably put up praise hands) feel like I am scooting like a dog with worms across a bed of hot ashes. Ok. I’ll give you a moment. But just so you know....that really was an understatement. It can be so much worse than that.
Never ever did I think I’d have to do this: I had to pick the anal rockets up at a specialty pharmacy 45 min away. They hand them over to you, packed for travel, frozen in a styrofoam cooler like you’re picking up some steamed shrimp packed for travel. And really, the only fun thing was, actually opening them and looking at them for the first time. I laughed. Out loud. By myself. BECAUSE. Never was I ever, throughout this entire ordeal, bequeathed with the knowledge, that these carefully crafted items of promised relief, were molded in the shape of butt plugs. They aren’t small either. These are seasoned porn star size. I’ve ALWAYS said NEVER to that door in my Narnia coat closet. I even had someone try to use Pink Floyd’s Comfortably Numb in an effort to persuade me. I quickly used a coy light reference of that meat grinder scene and nothing else had to be said. Also, I’m not judging you if you’ve partaken/to each his/her own.....but those memories quickly morphed from creepy to romantically reflective, when I found myself stuck in a painful situation where I was no longer afforded to right to decline or refuse to use it FOR ANYTHING. Pure lidocaine. Mixed, Poured and frozen In a butt plug mold the size of an orange street cone.....not really, but you know when you see a really big hill when you’re young and innocent, and then when you’re old and wise you see the same hill one day and you can step over it with ease? Yes.....I had to through this twice. And I’d like to add the most critically important statement right now.......I’d do it again and again. Let this post give you the strength and knowledge to be able to enjoy AND understand your womanhood and the joys of bringing life into this world. Our miraculous abilities and super human strength and resilience all come with great cost, that by all ethical and justifiable rights, should come with a full fledged in depth class that should end with at least a masters degree. Just my humble opinion.
Never have I ever, did I EVER think, I would go 8 weeks without feeling my entire ass. The whole ass. Messes you up. There were days were I would internally BEG and YEARN to feel PHANTOM ASS, like unfortunate victims who suffer from the loss/amputation of limbs and sometimes actually sometimes physically/psychologically feel what they have had removed. (I’m using this example in a very compassionate way, this is the ONLY way to describe this). Then I would feel guilty and count my blessings, basically and only bc I still at that time still really had an ass. (I eventually lost my ass, and unwillingly joined the global club of white women who have long ass but don’t know it, because no one has ever told them, and they insist on wearing a thong bathing suit on the beach....or the ones who do actually know it and sit their asses down in a crab chair only to get the WORST tan lines and hangovers......to be honest I’m friends with both parties, love them both.. but a white woman long ass is what it is. ANYHOO, while using the rockets, as I begin to accept my new body and life (it’s the gross bloated cocoon stage of what will become a dragonfly) I had to repeatedly check the clock, on a strict poop schedule, to see if it was time for me to sit and stare at my bathtub from my toilet until something happened. Sometimes it did. Sometimes it didn’t. But I’ll tell you one damn thing. I flat REFUSED to wash my panties when something sinister took place. Not one woman in my life ever told me these things might happen. Nevertheless, make it be publicly known, Never did I ever join the skid mark club. Nope. When that ship sailed, it was immediate pantie retirement, sealed in a plastic bag, double bagged, and buried deep outside in the trash can. I will though, out of the goodness in my heart, and the achingly desperate desire to arm young women with the power of knowledge, will NOW gift you a priceless super secret golden nugget of truth that not one single person in your entire life will ever give you.....it’s like the Holy Grail of self preservation, the celestial key to keeping and protecting your sanity (commit this to memory.....are you ready to receive?): Hemorrhoids have two sides. 2. Not one. I’m sparing you from truly believing you are pooping in your pants without feeling it. I’m saving you from the woeful shame of finding that in your panties knowing damn well you wiped the hell out of yourself. Ladies, if you still aren’t catching what I’m throwing, then I’ll sum it up. Wiping from front to back ain’t gonna cut it anymore. You gotta go the other way too....because Satan is behind thee, AND in front of thee. IF my husband knew what I spent on panties before I finally found the dark side of the moon....wait....what am I doing??? I’m old and wise now!!! I should have bossed up with my worth! I should have told him the truth and taken advantage of the opportunity to make him feel like he was “part of the solution”, so I could wear more expensive panties. See? He would have bought me expensive ones that were actually comfortable and made me feel prettier and sexier than I did.......instead of the Dollar Gentral 10 Pair In A Bag Come All The Way Up To The Arpits Barney Fife Lita Ford High Thigh Cut Make You Look Like You Have 3 Vaginas And Patterned/Fit For A Solid Zero Understandable Length Of Ass Crack panties I was throwing away. Are you beginning to catch what I’m throwing? Newly engaged married women need to know the power they possess!! It’s critical and crucial. Hear me. You may not stumble along my exact path......but you will stumble on something with no guidance.
Never did I ever even contemplate preparation for this one.....bc never did I ever even know what buttholes became after hemorrhoids, what they looked like “after the storm has settled” and everything slowly retreats with the ebb and flow of your hormones and sphincter, and time. Truth is, they all look and turn out different. Some are just gone, while some are not. The really MESSED UP THING NOBODY tells you, is that most women who get to experience the anticipation and relief/joy of the TOTAL disappearance of hemorrhoids over time, and then they get to shamelessly rejoice in the celebratory ritual of using their magnified mirror and husbands barbershop clippers to finally RE-MEET AND GREET Vageena....they are never prepared for the future. Part 2. The sequel. None of us really are prepared, except those of us whose hemorrodic friends never leave. But for the ones who enjoyed a renewed confidence ....I want to take my pointer finger right here and now and use it to dramatically press very hard on one of the off note black keys on a piano, and slowly move my head to make intense smoldering eye contact with you. Hear me now. Loud and clear. They’re not gone. It might be the morning after a wine and CHEESE party, it maybe the morning after a long road trip where you sat in the passenger seat for 8 hours, it might be the morning after you had passionate sex with someone who just a few hours ago saw EEEEERTHANG and is now wanting to see it up close again in the daylight...but you will be awakened with that familiar pain, and go silent for a minute to get your bearings. Your face will look like a Tarsier. Go ahead, google the image of a Tarsier. You will yet again try to channel the abilities of someone who is blind, and try to read your butthole like Braille....but you will fail, bc the fear and trauma will numb you at this point. You will psychologically feel that lidocaine butt plug...You will now have PTSD, and it will go one or two ways. You will either frantically look at it in the 5X magnified mirror and be attacked by the deceiving enlarged reflection showing you have a Polska sausage hanging down from your entire ass, or you will calmly use the other side of the mirror and become immediately aware that if you HAD TO PHONE A FRIEND, all you could say is that your butthole has grown its own clitoris, complete with what looks like maybe a pulled back hood. It’s a skin tag hemorrhoid that has hidden inside the picked skin folds....until now. And it hurts like hell. And then.....you’re going to start googling. No you don’t have ass cancer. No, genital warts don’t pop up overnight. No, Preparation H or essentials oils or Witch Hazel will not make that thing go away quickly. So you’ll google some more and quickly stumble on home remedy removals. You will then nervously stare at the dental floss in your bathroom. You will also look at the needle and thread in your craft section, and try to decide between wax or cotton......and then? After reading the horrors of having them surgically removed.......you will break down in a fit of embarrassing but angered frame of mind, and speed dial/call that girlfriend who still has those pics of your cauliflower on her iCloud...but this time, you have no shame and neither does she. And then any resemblance or pride and privacy in your most personal being will evaporate when you fall through that tunnel like Super Mario into the underground world in order to save your princess.
Never did I ever think about having a stomach virus after giving birth, for the first 3 days upon arrival at home. All I’m gonna say about this is.....whether you find yourself ill or not....DO NOT TRUST THAT PAD when you fart. Don’t believe me? Fine. You’ll see for yourself, but I’ve given you fair warning. You know that old saying “when the shit hits the.....”.....I’m taking the liberty to use it in a different way. Because it’s the only way to describe it with dignity and a slight sense of humor what will happen, and what you alone will have to clean up while your baby is hungry and crying at 3am.
Never did I ever think I would ever be able to smuggle a midget, or a brick of black tar heroin across the border....simply by using my c-section scar. It may not be politically correct to say this, but I’m pretty confident by now you probably understand I don’t give a crap. I really do call it my midget smuggler. No matter how much weight I lose, I’m traumatized by the fact that the only way I can lose this flap of skin that looks like an overbite above VAGEENA, is either join the ranks of woman who try to jump over cars and stacks of pallets in order to land in front of a dump truck tire so they can pick it up an run and yell like a Viking......or sign up for a tummy tuck. Nothing wrong with either one. Just not for me. That comes with a price though...NO MO cheap ass bathing suits from Walmart or Target.....oh no baby, you in the big league now. What? What was that you just said in your head? That you’ll always be skinny and that will never happen to you? Girl I said the same thing, for years!!! In my worse moments, when I’m feeling particularly sorry for myself, I admit I’ve drank a bottle of wine and worn my black spanx to bed, just so I can reap the fleeting but powerful benefits of lying to myself as I lay on my side and run my hand across my flat belly....it helps with the confident dreams. And I awake as thankful and peaceful and renewed as I imagine I would be if I woke up to a clean house.
Never did I ever think I would ever be able to say, that after 5,673 years of unbelievably wonderful memories of breast feeding, that I could probably make a crane with my titty from the instructions in an Origami book my son received for Christmas this year. Or the bound paper airplane tutorial on his floor in his bedroom, where all things exist. And, LOL, I’m feeling a tingle of naughtiness slip up here all the sudden so I’m going to ride it like a magic carpet......big facts.....it happens to women who don’t breast feed too!! Why did I stoop low just then? To be quite frank, I’m bitter about losing my boobs. I mean, I lost my ass too....but the boobs hit me hard. I’m tired of seeing those TABOO episodes and the weird crap on the internet where people are willingly dangling, suspended and hanging from hooks through their nipples, because it automatically spurs some weird terrible competitive mood in me.....I’m all like, ooooh okay....lemme put down this glass of wine bc I cannot outdo you in a heartbe........and then at some point I remind myself that I need to sit my ass down. And I do. But......I never ever thought in a million years that after a lifetime of youthful stand up D cups, I would be flipping through the B CUP section while my kindergartener who has recently learned how to read screams across the store, “Mommaaaaaaaaa! Do you like THONG? (Not plural. It just read thong).
I promise. I’m winding down. Life is fun. It’s Sad. It’s exciting it’s crazy. But that doesn’t mean we have to be unprepared for it. Now....I know, I’ve said a lot of things right now. I’m saving the worst for last. I ain’t even gonna lie. This is the pits that NO ONE prepares you for.
Never ever did I ever think, in my whole entire lifetime, that I would one day, in my 40s, be able to grow a full BLACK GOATEE AND ADJOING MUSTACHE. I have light brown very thin hair. Ok. Yeah. I’ve had a cpl I had to pluck over the years....Martha, Gertrude, Blanche........but they were lazy and inconsistent with their growth rate/patterns, and I could usually feel them before I could see them. Something bad happens to some women sometimes. It happened to me. It may not happen to you. I am the bearded lady you would pay to see. I’m the definition of the completely UNAWARE AUNTIE nobody cares enough about to demand she pluck that crap before she visits and tries to kiss all the children who are consciously making the private decision between kissing her and hiding in the neighbors dog house where they KNOW FOR SURE the dog will maul them. Anything to escape those whiskers. I am the Amish woman you confidently haggled with over the price of a bucket of strawberries....you couldn’t understand a word she said, but your ass paid her what she asked for as soon as you watched her slowly and methodically stroke/pull her beard from the roots to the end like every actor who has EVER played the character of Abraham Lincoln. And. You promptly turned your ass around and climbed back on that tour buggy when she didn’t hand you any change. I am the woman who went to an Asian owned nail salon to get a chin wax, only to be told by the owner after three completely unsuccessful wax strips, and she spoke in a VERY STRONG Vietnamese accent, “Aaaaahhhhh! Yo chin hair roooot took strong! I pluck!” I remember batting her away as she came in strong with those tweezers. I am the woman who got juuuuuust** a little too comfortable with shaving with a 5 blade razor in the steamy shower......so much that one day I shattered something deep within my husband when he opened the shower door to ask me where truck keys were. I was completely immersed in my upstroke ZEN, shaving against the growth bc I had important stuff to do that day and I could not have stubble. I could only open my right eye bc of the soap and lather all over my face.... but I saw enough. It was too much for him. He’s been through A LOT with me....bad periods, surgery, peeing myself, anxiety/panic attacks, stomach virus.......but this broke something in him. The only thing he could manage to say right before he slowly closed the door was, “How long have you been doing this?” His tone and demeanor would have been the same if he had walked in and caught me cheating on him red handed. Wouldn’t have been any difference. Then. for some unknown sadistic must be rooted in a sulphuric rock in the worst part of hell....it got worse. I was asked to “grow it out some” before I went in to the doctors for a complete hormone panel. Now mind you, I shave twice a day in order to keep it in the closet. I locked myself inside my home and grew it out for two solid days. When I tell you that I didn’t even NEED a damn SnapChat filter to make me look like was in FULL TRANSITION to be a male, I need you to believe me- not bc I’m telling this is absolutely going to happen to you-but bc I need the pity. I sat in my truck, turned it on as I sighed at my reflection, and began the 45 min journey to my doctors office. I was listening to Welcome to the Jungle by Guns and Roses and going 55 in a 50 zone. And out of nowhere, I saw blue lights behind me. Not even trying to be funny and kid right now......the very young patrolman stood up from his vehicle.....methodically HOISTED his pants up, way up, just like in a movie, more than they should be. Like honestly, I forgot I was legit being pulled over and allowed my imagination to run wild as he slowly approached my window with a very stern face. I asked him if I had a tail light out or something wrong with my vehicle and he replied with a know it all very assured voice, “Mam? Where are you going in such a hurry this morning?” I said, “uhmmmm, well, I’m going to a dr appointment but I checked my speed. 55 is not speeding!” He leaned closer to my window to get a really good look in (btw I love and support law enforcement but this was too theatrical to keep to myself) so I rolled the damn thing all the way down, stuck my chin out at him and said, “I’m going to get my hormones checked. I have more chin hair than you do!” I think the morning dew and sunlight made it glisten; saw the look on his face. It was the same as my husband’s had been when he caught me using his Barbasol and BIC 5 Fkexin’ it up in the steamy shower that day. It’s a comical but extremely potent mixture of horror....disgust...denial...loss of faith in humanity....stop drop roll run erase the board control alt delete empty history sing a Rick Astley song or Amazing Grace over and over again to make your brain forget the image. My facial hair is so bad, it got me out of a ticket. Never ever did anyone tell me HOW MANY WOMEN HAVE TO DEAL WITH ON THE DAILY, just like me. I need y’all to step UP TO THE DAMN plate. You very well may have had the honor of being trusted enough to take a butthole pic of your friend, a pic that is powerful enough to bring down a small country if used in evil ways. But that was a one time job!!! When your girl is pumping gas and you see the wind move one of her chin hairs, or you’re impatiently waiting/watching her try to blend that makeup on her neckline, and you witness a rogue secret agent pop up from underneath her chin and decide to lay down in the light......you dont just urgently tell her, you make a scene by almost breaking her rearview or makeup mirror when you move it so she can see the hair! Then you pluck it out yourself. Make a scene. Drive it home. No man forgotten. None left behind. Do whatever you have to do make a big deal about it so she will be aware and proactive.....don’t let her go down like that. And then. for the rest of your natural born life, as long as you don’t have dementia- it is YOUR SACRED HONOR AND DUTY to make sure those hairs are taken care of.
So much more I can say, like, never did I ever think I’d have to draw my eyebrows on, or wear a baseball cap after giving birth bc the hair loss was so bad around my temples that I looked like I was suffering through chemo. Never was I ever told that I would grow really long hairs around my nipples that made me feel like a witch...I probably would have been torched in Salem.
Be a good...no....GREAT...NO BULLSHIT...honest...diligent and empowering girlfriend. Tell the young, the middle, the old. Be compassionate in your advice and wisdom! Threaten to beat someone’s ass for hurting her, even when you both know you won’t! We are the bringers and nurturers of life. We must help each other more than we do. ~ Ryan Welch Anderson

The August 2019 Indie/Rock Playlist is here, and on time - as usual. ;)
Links to stream and/or download the playlist can be found here: https://www.theindierockplaylist.com
Indie/Rock Playlist: August (2019)

1. (00:01:08) Ghostel – (IRP) Intro
2. (00:02:55) Little Comets – 3 Minute Faltz
3. (00:02:43) Mother Mother – Back To Life
4. (00:01:40) Vampire Weekend – Bambina
5. (00:04:09) Editors – Barricades (The Blanck Mass recording)
6. (00:02:58) Bee Bee Sea – Be Bop Palooza
7. (00:02:51) together PANGEA – Bet You Wish I Would Call
8. (00:03:30) Psychedelic Porn Crumpets – Bill’s Mandolin
9. (00:02:46) Ralph Pelleymounter – Blackness a Void
10. (00:02:20) Ezra Furman – Calm Down aka I Should Not Be Alone
11. (00:03:29) Sleater-Kinney – Can I Go On
12. (00:04:37) Broken Social Scene – Can’t Find My Heart
13. (00:01:01) Small Crush – Chicken Noodle
14. (00:03:08) Top Bunk – Dang
15. (00:02:43) Mounties – De-Evolve Again
16. (00:02:30) Surf Curse – Disco
17. (00:02:07) origami ghosts – Doing the Dishes
18. (00:02:50) The Regrettes – Dress Up
19. (00:03:27) Cagework – Eileen
20. (00:03:13) Bon Iver – Faith
21. (00:04:23) Andrew Bird – Fallorun
22. (00:04:56) Ra Ra Riot – Flowers
23. (00:03:07) Kristin Anna – Forever Love
24. (00:02:47) Alice Dreamt – Get Sad
25. (00:04:38) Rev Magnetic – Gloaming
26. (00:02:24) Mating Ritual – Good God Regina It’s a Bomb
27. (00:03:00) Honeymoan – Gym Song
28. (00:02:52) Gaffa Tape Sandy – Headlights
29. (00:02:14) Sports Team – Here It Comes Again
30. (00:02:53) Super City – High
31. (00:03:12) StrangeJuice – Home Shopping
32. (00:03:32) Einar Stray Orchestra – Hot Salted Wind
33. (00:03:26) Canary Gold – Hummingbird
34. (00:02:22) The Dollyrots – I Love You Instead
35. (00:02:47) Spector – I Won’t Wait
36. (00:03:52) Hibou – Inside Illumination
37. (00:04:00) Megafauna – Is There Anything Else
38. (00:04:07) Silversun Pickups – It Doesn’t Matter Why
39. (00:04:10) Graveyard Club – It Hurts
40. (00:04:00) The Futureheads – Jekyll
41. (00:03:10) Death Cab for Cutie – Kids in ’99
42. (00:03:06) The Vaughns – Kowabunga
43. (00:07:16) OM Collective – Le Tsugino Tonalli en a Jivana
44. (00:02:29) Penelope Isles – Leipzig
45. (00:03:20) Marsicans – Little Things
46. (00:02:49) An Horse – Live Well
47. (00:02:28) Gallus – Looking Like a Mess
48. (00:03:26) Sufjan Stevens – Love Yourself
49. (00:02:05) Bad Nerves – Mad Mind
50. (00:04:48) String Machine – Mara (In The Breeze)
51. (00:03:21) Gaspar Sanz – Meanderthal
52. (00:02:30) Gurr – Middleton Mall
53. (00:00:58) Jeff Rosenstock – Monday At The Beach!
54. (00:01:37) LIFE – Moral Fibre
55. (00:03:33) Manchester Orchestra – My Backwards Walk
56. (00:02:09) Sipper – N.J.F.D.
57. (00:02:59) FUR – Nothing (Until Something Comes Along)
58. (00:02:27) FEET – Outer Rim
59. (00:04:19) Anna Meredith – Paramour
60. (00:02:38) On Video – Past Tense
61. (00:02:26) Girlfriend Material – Peace Sign
62. (00:03:03) King Gizzard And The Lizard Wizard – Plastic Boogie
63. (00:02:22) Modest Mouse – Poison the Well
64. (00:02:13) illuminati hotties – Pressed 2 Death
65. (00:03:05) The Divine Comedy – Queuejumper
66. (00:03:57) Sleepwalkers – Reasons to Give Up in You
67. (00:02:51) 45ACIDBABIES – Ri Ri Ride
68. (00:03:41) The National – Rylan
69. (00:02:30) Fontaines D.C. – Sha Sha Sha
70. (00:03:27) PUP – Sibling Rivalry
71. (00:04:02) The Mountain Goats – Sicilian Crest
72. (00:04:03) Belle & Sebastian – Sister Buddha
73. (00:02:48) Halfloves – Small Hours
74. (00:03:30) Future Generations – Spirit of My Youth
75. (00:03:04) Mr. Gallini – Surfer Girl
76. (00:03:23) Holy Holy – Teach Me About Dying
77. (00:03:45) Slotface – Telepathetic
78. (00:03:42) The Voidz – The Eternal Tao
79. (00:03:07) Team Me – The Future In Your Eyes
80. (00:03:43) San Fermin – The Hunger
81. (00:03:17) Biffy Clyro – The Modern Leper
82. (00:03:15) sidekicknick – The Red Planet Plan I Planned You For
83. (00:04:06) The Dodos – The Surface
84. (00:02:30) Mal Blum – Things Still Left to Say
85. (00:03:44) Plastic Mermaids – Throwing Stones at the Moon
86. (00:03:23) How Great Were the Robins – To Crown Misery
87. (00:03:23) Cage the Elephant – Tokyo Smoke
88. (00:02:45) Roofers Union – Tortugas
89. (00:03:02) The Mystery Lights – Traces
90. (00:06:46) Thom Yorke – Twist
91. (00:03:05) Blood Red Shoes – Vertigo
92. (00:02:58) Kishi Bashi – Violin Tsunami
93. (00:02:48) The Raconteurs – What’s Yours Is Mine
94. (00:03:23) JR JR – Wild Child
95. (00:01:46) Martha – Wrestlemania VIII
96. (00:02:06) Kitty Kat Fan Club – You Got Me Modernized
97. (00:03:40) Lower Dens – Young Republicans
98. (00:02:59) The Real Zebos – Your Ex Said You Can’t Dance
99. (00:02:51) Regina Spektor – You’ve Got Time (Chamber Version)
100. (00:03:25) WOOZE – Zeus’ Masseuse

Playing Time………: 05:16:12
Total Size………..: 587.95 MB
IRP August (2019) Vol. 2

1. (00:01:25) Gaten Matarazzo & Gabriella Pizzolo – (Intro) Never Ending Story
2. (00:02:37) On Video – Adversary
3. (00:03:01) Plague Vendor – All of the Above
4. (00:02:51) Hembree – Almost
5. (00:04:42) Vassilikos – Anybody Lost
6. (00:04:48) Fews – Anything Else
7. (00:03:10) Pizzagirl – Body Biology
8. (00:03:56) Talkie – Bummer Summerrr
9. (00:04:03) Joyero – Dogs
10. (00:03:47) The Twilight Sad – Floating In The Forth
11. (00:02:26) The Black Keys – Go
12. (00:03:05) Weird Milk – Honey, I’m Around
13. (00:02:34) (Sandy) Alex G – Hope
14. (00:03:11) repeat repeat – I’ll Be The One You’re Growing Old With
15. (00:04:53) Callum Pitt – Knocked the Wind Right out of Me
16. (00:03:32) Wilco – Love Is Everywhere (Beware)
17. (00:03:54) Oh Sees – Poisoned Stones
18. (00:06:19) Look Vibrant – The Good Truth
19. (00:06:33) The Appleseed Cast – Time the Destroyer
20. (00:03:37) Sofia Portanet – Wandering Rat

Playing Time………: 01:14:24
Total Size………..: 136.36 MB