Finally put in the effort over the last year to get ripped and I haven't noticed any change in how women treat me. My body fat went from like 20% to 12%, weight is similar, look great without a shirt. It was fairly easy because I'm short (5'9). Good comparison for physique is Tom Holland.
Always been confident and never been fat, so it feels like this change was extraneous. Women treat me the same with my clothes on. Have had sex with two people since looking like this and they both commented some variant of "I didn't know you had such a nice body [before seeing you naked]". Seemed like a fun surprise for them as opposed to something that attracted them.
Not much point to any of this except to say: just don't be fat. If you're already normal weight and lift weekly as a man, any additional work on your body is for yourself.

I am a 20 year old male. Growing up I remember my parents facing financial hardship. I often felt left alone, and I occupied my time trying to do something else, like playing video games.
From kindergarten to elementary school I’ve mostly been educated by my grandparents. The same, kinda dissociative, day dreaming sensation I’ve felt since childhood was present throughout my school years. Almost like I was trying to constantly escape reality, because it’d be too painful to actually live it. Now I have still been able to make a few friends along the way of course. But for some reason I was always « in the shadows » you could say. I was scared of others and so others either left me alone completely (80% of the time) or they’d just mock me for any reason possible.
So I had tremendous social anxiety and would hardly trust others.
I also was extremely prude from a very young age. I’d panic to the idea of being naked. From ages around 4-5 I remember being scared shitless of removing my clothes.
I’ve also repeatedly been told by adults that « I was very mature for my age ». Which now, thinking back on it wasn’t normal for a kid, to act so suppressed and careful.
I would never cry to not bother my mother or anyone for that matter. I didn’t want to be a problem. The biggest issue I guess is when my mother tried to have sex with me when I was around 11. I remember trying so hard to forget about it. And I think I managed to forget some parts. Since then I do not trust women and I can’t bear physical touch.
It has seriously impaired my relationship with others. I do have a few friends, a job, and an ok life despite living with my parents still. No one knows about this event and I never talked to my mother about what happened. I just pretended it never happened. Other than that it’s a pretty normal family. And I love my father and my mother. I just don’t understand.
How do I recover? Is it my fault?

Does anyone feel like Instagram has been pushing soft porn too much? I follow bike related pages and content creators, yet i get pictures and reels of half naked Indian women on my explore page. Even after reporting and clicking on not interested, i still get on my feed.

this is my first time posting on reddit, im looking for any kind of advice or input. i (17F) have been with my boyfriend (19M) for almost six months now, our anniversary is in 2 days. this is my first relationship and his second relationship, we’ve had problems since we started dating, we’ve never been in a fight over anything ive done, just gonna be completely real im a very anxious person and a huge perfectionist in every aspect of my life and since this is my first relationship i have been extremely diligent to do everything right, i cant say the same for him. hes hurt me emotionally so many times throughout this relationship, he can often be careless and doesnt consider me, and then doesnt see a problem with that. hes fucked up in so many MAJOR ways that have literally landed me in the hospital, no physical ab*se is happening, but he is still the cause of my reoccurring doctors visits. i wont get into all the ways hes hurt me emotionally and done shit thats fucked me over since this post is intended to be ab my current predicament with him, but i will just say that it gets BAD. hes never cheated on me as far as i know, i believe women should never trust men so im not saying this because i trust his every word, i just genuinely dont think he would have the balls to do something like that, plus i am literally the catch of his life. his friends and mine and just people we are acquainted with often ask me how he pulled me and say to him and i that im way out of his league, my boyfriend says this as well. i dont want to come off as cocky or anything like that at all, i am a very humble person irl, but i just want to paint the picture of our relationship for anyone who can help me out right now. i do know that im very very pretty, patient, caring, generous, kind, understanding, polite, and poised. i grew up with an eating disorder most of my life and never believed my appearance was good enough or held any value, so i made a point to not have a rotten soul, i made a point to really really work on myself on the inside, so that i could fall in love with being alive enough to realize that my appearance was not the most important thing. throughout the years my insecurity faded away and ive gotten to a point in my life where i know who i am, i know that im a truly good person, and i know that im really good looking. ANYWAY sorry for that whole spiel but it will be relevant when i get into whats happening in my relationship at the moment!!!!
my relationship has a lot of really good moments, i can be so real with him, we are always laughing on good days, he can be so kind and caring and chivalrous at times, i feel so safe with him in those times, i believe we have a really genuine connection.
NOW for the current issue… i broke up with him this march (we were only broken up for exactly 24hrs) due to the build up of fucked up shit hes put me through, him following pornstars on insta, liking girls thirst traps, disappearing to LA when i was in the hospital because of him, and the list goes on and on and on. my point is, one of the reasons was him following porn stars and liking that kind of content on social media. we are not an on and off couple, this is the only time we’ve broken up, and the whole 24hrs that we were we quite literally stayed on the phone, throughout the whole evening, night, morning, and his whole work day up until we met up to continue talking ab things in person. i was extremely explicit in the fact that his current behavior was unacceptable, i wasnt going to stand for it, and that i would have a 0 toleration policy for any boundary crossing, fuck ups, or general asshole behavior in the future.
i told him that i had 2 options, i could either follow through with my decision to leave him based on what has actually happened in our relationship, or i could trust him saying that he was going to change and give him a second chance. i am really in love with him and i want him to be a part of my life, as i want to be a part of his, so i chose to stay with him and give him the opportunity to prove to me he could be better, and continue to be a better man from that point forth. things have been really good since i made this choice, hes made a major effort to be better in every aspect, and made positive changes to his own life, he seems happier and seems to have more energy and more of a lust for life since this, and i am so happy to see that. i could go on and on but basically things have just been really amazing.
NOW FOR THE REAL TEA!!!! 2 weeks ago i found out i was pregnant, and had to take the abortion pill a few days after that, he was really amazing throughout the whole process, but its been hard for me nonetheless, the way doctors treated me, having to hide it from my mom, having morning sickness, the hormonal up and downs of it all, the fact that being pregnant is my biggest fear, combined with other stress in my personal life. ive been kinda down lately due to this, it was just a hard thing to go through esp at my age, but ive been making an effort to take care of myself, not slip into depression, and move forward with my life. ive been doing well more recently, but it was just a rough patch for me personally. my cat has also been sick since ab the exact same time i found out i was pregnant, and ive been super stressed ab that and losing sleep taking care of him all night and day, every night and day.
REALREAL TEA TIME. REAL TEA. since my cats not doing well, i decided to hangout with my boyfriend after he got off of work the other day, just to get my mind off of it, get out of the house, and enjoy life for a bit. we ended up having an AMAZING night, like seriously so good, i fell in love with him all over again ab 10 million times that night. at the end of the night we decided to go back to my place and sleepover there. he went to sleep soon after we got home, but i stayed up because i needed to take off my makeup and take a shower. before showering, i decided to go on his phone to send myself cute pictures we had taken and also to take a peak at what hes been up to. things have been so good lately and i wanted to prove to myself that i made the right decision in staying with him. unfortunately things did not go so well. i ended up looking through his phone for a few hrs because i found LOADS of hentai and porn he was looking at on reddit in his history, porn on discord, repeating onlyfans links in his search history (which were dated to the DAY after i found out i was pregnant and would have to have an abortion), i found a group he was in on facebook that consisted entirely of borderline porn, and i found messages he had deleted on facebook of him messaging a girl and asking her to send him nudes and telling her that she was sexy dated to when we first officially got into a committed relationship, his recent searches on reddit were all groups that consist solely of porn, his link history on reddit contained onlyfans links, and there were onlyfans models in his recent searches on insta as well. i was absolutely devastated, i was feeling so many things and wanted to end it right then and there, i decided to take my shower, do skincare and all of that stuff, go to sleep and tell him what i found in the morning. it was like 3am at this point. i finished getting ready for bed around 5:30am and went to my nightstand to plug in my phone, my boyfriend is a super heavy sleeper so i didnt think him waking up was even a possibility, but he woke up and asked me to come cuddle in bed with him, since he was half awake, i knew if i got into bed he’d start cuddling with me, and i could not handle that so id have to push him away, leaving me no choice but to confront him at that time instead of in the morning as i had planned. so i said “hey (bf’s name), do you wanna tell me why you’ve been looking at loads of porn on reddit” he quickly became fully conscious when he realized what was happening. he was still out of it but kind of trying to talk to me and ask me what was happening, i didnt say anything, i grabbed my pillow and a blanket and told him to go back to sleep and that we’d discuss it in the morning, he asked me where i was going and i said to sleep on my couch, then i gave him 2 options, i said he could either leave right then and there, or go back to sleep and we’d talk ab it later in the morning and i would sleep on my couch, but i told him we were not gonna have the convo right then and there. i went downstairs and set up my couch bed, then i was like wait a damn minute why am i the one sleeping on the couch, i came back upstairs and told him that i changed my mind and that he could either leave or sleep on the couch. he never made a decision and we ended up having the whole convo ab everything right then and there, i remained stern and i was clearly angry but i did not raise my voice or throw out insults. at first he tried lying to me and saying it wasnt him and all this other bullshit, but eventually he admitted that he has a porn addiction. i was still extremely upset, i understand that its a common thing in my generation, porn-like content is all over social media and so easy to access, but it still shook me to my core. porn addiction is a real thing but like idk how to deal with this, i am so hurt and feeling so many things, there was SO much of it and it all feels like cheating to me. this is making me question everything ab our intimate life, it makes me feel like it doesnt mean anything to him. idek when and how he has the energy to jerk off because we both have a high sex drive and see each other rly often, so we have LOTS of sex and im never the one to tap out after multiple rounds. its not vanilla either so its not like theres some sort of unfulfilled desire happening, i really do not get it at all, and i am SO unbelievably hurt. i dont know if i can ever move on from this or forgive him, or “help and support and reassure” him as he tries to quit this addiction. it feels like im begging my bf to only have eyes for me. like im support him in his endeavor to stop looking at other naked girls. nothing about it feels right and i dont know what to do. i love him so unbelievably much, but this changes everything, i wish this never happened because i do want to be with him, i just dont know how to, or if i should, now. any and all advice would be appreciated. i am completely undecided on what to do from this point on.

I female age 15 was living in a camper in Rhode Island with my mom age 31 and my dad age 33 along with 2 siblings my mom got into a car crash. Which gave her a concussion so I had to take care of my family and was like a house wife every time I got off from school. My dad didn't help unless it involved my siblings with his game console or with nothing other than steal my mom's stuff to go through it to make sure she didn't catch him cheating on her. Which she did but I hid it all which he had a suspicion of, but my mom was acting like a child at the time.
I wasn't focused on the remarks my dad would make. Whenever i was In shorts he would talk about how my butt looked like mom's but bigger, and how I was better than her. While my mom was getting better my was about to be 15, but something I did notice. While my dad made dirty remarks he was reading a online book, and I caught him multiple times. In my parents bedroom alone rocking his stick, and why I mentioned this. Is because that book he was reading was my whole bathroom situation, but with Mafia people in his book. While this was going on my mom was mostly recovered by the week before my birthday.
But my dad gas lighted her that I did nothing while he did everything, and my mom believed him. For 2 days before he tattled on himself about looking through her phone, and finding some evidence of him cheating. Which made them fight and argue which they were doing before the crash. During the week before my birthday I got a road rash which will be a scar. Forever a reminder of how my dad was able to look at me in the camper. The shower doors were made of glass and if the temperature was lukewarm then you could see everything on the other side. I turned 15 on the day of my road rash I got into the shower around 8:00 p.m. while washing my wound my father went in there and didn't say a word. Just started brushing his teeth and looking towards the mirror which at the time was not looking my way.
I was okay with it at first cuz I thought it would just be for that day, but the next 3 weeks. It went to a transition of him looking at the mirror then to him leaving the bathroom door open lean on the wall towards the shower staring. Playing toxic masculinity podcast of how young women should do what men tell them. I wasn't on social media a lot so I didn't know what "alpha" male ment, but women would refer them as that or they would refer them selfs as that. But then to every couple of days during those three weeks was like him pushing boundary after boundary to the point where I can't handle it. Cuz he tried to touch the doorknob to open the glass doors.
I told him that I wasn't comfortable two times along with my younger siblings telling him to get out because they saw him in there because the door was open. Which he told them that it was okay, that he was my dad, and if anybody deserve to be in there it was him. During the third day of the first week of this happening I wanted to prove to myself that my father wasn't like his stepfather. Which was a S A @bus€r of mine when I was 4 through 6. Because I thought it was because of my schedule of me getting in the shower late, so I changed my schedule throughout the last 2 weeks. During the time of him pushing boundaries I would change the times where it would inconvenience my mother . During her naps or whatever she needed to do to get better cuz she had appointments, or she would be like dead asleep. She would need me to watch my siblings, but I was busy in the shower.
They were messing with her while she had a headache, and my father was complaining about the hot water for dishes and other women chores. I need or my mother needed to complete, but the part that makes it the most messed up is that when it was 20 minutes of me being still in the shower. He would walk out and I would hurry up and get out and he would go back to his game console, smoke a cigarette, and not go to bed for a couple of hours. On the last day of the third week my mom asked me about it cuz she was finally starting to be aware of everything. I told her to wait and I would get in the shower as soon as I got home. He will be in there, and she didn't believe me.
But once I got home, and got in there he was in there with the door open. My mom grabbed him by his shoulder, and ripped him out and yelled at him and told him if he ever did that again that she would go get her shotgun. Cuz now she's more aware than she has ever been after the crash. His excuses that I was taking a shower late, then maybe I should be taking showers so late, then maybe I should be using all the hot water, and that I'm his daughter he changed my diapers so if he wants to be in there he can be in there. if i want the door open for some air he can have it open cuz he also pays the bills and owns everything and that I should be grateful. Which made my mom come up with a plan to start secretly moving after that day. I called my aunt and my uncle who did not believe me and thought there was a better explanation, but they did see my point of view but still thought I was being dramatic.
They question my father and he lied and said it was for 3 days more arguments started, and one day when I had a school day off. My dad as soon as he found out stayed home while my mom had to be at a appointment. She thought he already left but instead he went to chilled some where, and came back to have a conversation with me. Told me that I was delusional, and that if I was uncomfortable I should have told him. When I told him I did and that he didn't say a word he said that he must have not heard me. Once I told him that I said it loud and clear, and that all he did was sigh. Along with looked like he was about to cry and was mad. He said that I'm just like my mother, and that we deserve each other. Then went on to if he had to have boundaries with me, then I have to have boundaries with my mother and we can't get changed in front of each other.
Because we are both bisexual, and then proceeded to tell me that I don't know what's going on. Then told me that I should be ashamed because I don't know how it feels to feel like a predator in your own home. Which left me speechless because I know what it's like to have predators around you every corner, and he knows this and when I told him that. He told me to grow up, and that my hormones should be kicking in. I should have already forgotten about his stepfather already. My mom came home and my dad said he wanted a divorce which my mom says working on it. Then took me for a drive, I told her all about it, and then a couple of days later.
I woke up to my mom crying and naked because my mom had sex with my dad. When he was done and he got her done he kicked her out of the room. When she was wondering why he said she was more convenient then to go get a stranger and do it in the back of a truck. My mom told me to go back to bed and I did at the time not fully knowing what was going on till that day. That my mom going back on her word thinking she needed him. Telling me not to break up the family, and that if he agrees the counseling we're staying even if I said no and don't like it. Which he didn't of course, and also I told her that I would kill her and him and that I have thought about it. Was in their room multiple times with a weapon think about killing them both because of the things they do. Which made my mom understand that she needed to grow up and leave him now. Which is sad for me to say, but we finished up packing. We got a U-Haul and before we left my mom thought it would be fair to him if my siblings had a board game night with him.
Which later I left cuz I couldn't handle that my siblings get a perfect dad. While I always got a cursing, child beating, lying, and disciplining me for no reason father. Couldn't handle that my mom didn't leave them for a military, hasn't killed my father, or believe me on many occasions. Or didn't do anything because of him, and because of her always needing him. He went to go find me a hour later and talked with me said the same things as the other conversation. When I brought up multiple predators in my life and how he did nothing. For example, I had a high school boy threatened to r@p€ me in the third grade, and him and his friends chase me around and has kissed me and touched me multiple times for 2 years. He said that he couldn't because that high school boy was a friends son, but told him to stop but this friend was a mistress of his.
Which later to find out that it would have been 4 years of harassment if my mother didn't threaten to burn his house. Which again shows that my father is a liar and my mother even proved it to me by showing me pictures of text between the high school boy, his mother, and her. At the end of the conversation a dark side of me popped out, and just went to try to go grab the nearest gun to shoot him. cuz my father did was lie, gaslighted, manipulated, and acted like a brick wall. He thought we had a great dad and talk even though I was still crying. I guess he thought I was like my mom and I would given up. My mom stopped me and told me that I shouldn't go to jail, and that we are moving tomorrow.
She will make sure of it no more delays, no more of letting me down we move to Texas where we're originally from. While living with a relative my little siblings could talk to our father, which slowly broke the relationship. Because he would always try to bring up me, and how he wanted to talk to me. He couldn't stand not talking to me, and that he stopped paying child support until I talk to him. In between breaking the relationship with my siblings slowly they started seeing the dad that I saw. During staying here with my relative my mom got some console, and help but at the time my dad was paying for child support. But there wasn't enough to get me help which my family thinks I desperately need.
But when child support stopped her console stopped cuz she can't afford it. Then drama started happening with the relative we were with, and we've been moving ever since. But now my mom is on the road making a lot of money to make up for no child support. Until the child support office is gets their affairs in order because my dad gave them 27 different addresses. We are living with relative to relative that will take us in, and watch us. But my mom will be coming back soon to get a rent house, so that we can finally settle down. After a whole year of dealing with all this without him. I'll be 16, and I don't know how to feel cuz it marks the anniversary of a scar physical, emotional, and mental at my worst. But it is the same day as my celebration of birth. Which I sometimes wish never happened.

It wasn't the first time that we tried this but it was in the locker room and lasted only a few seconds.(did nothing basically) We were at home alone together and He asked me again if I want to try rn and I nod. He starts to play with my belt and after drop my heavy pants down to my knees. A few minutes later my boxers goes off aswell leaving me naked It felt weird once I felt the contact with his mouth but somehow it took only a few seconds to get me hard. from that point on it was just a ride to reach the maximum pleasure. I didn't last long.. I guess it was too good. After I dress up again and just told him to keep it as a secret (I trust him so no issues about it).
I think I'm still straight cause I'm not really attracted to dudes but they definitely give better head than women.

Idk if it counts boys but i had some touches and watched couple of naked women but i’m trying my best😭
Edit: Clean*****^

I’m turning 29 and never had a boyfriend. And it’s not like I’ve tried, I put myself out there both on dating apps and in my life. And all of a sudden, I am panicking I’ve missed my chance
I know I’m pretty and I’m friendly, I am naturally quite a reserved person and very quiet. Im not loud and bubbly, more calm and introverted
Anyway, what baffles me is this dating situation and I don’t know if it’s a sign that something is seriously wrong with me
I met a guy on a dating app last year and it seemed an instant match. Amazing convos, similar goals and values, both intelligent and liked the same things. And the physical spark was lovely too
But he always kept me at such a distance. Dates were lovely and he would hold my hand at the dinner table and speak of how well me and him get along. We really did!
But after several dates, we slept together for the first time. And he had some problems in the bedroom. I was patient and understanding, anyway, the way he kissed and touched me was fantastic. But going forwards from that, he said he was thinking too much
Then after that he only set up daytime dates for a while. I worried he wasn’t attracted to me, I never really saw him admire my body or seem that excited about me despite telling me I was hot and how he feels we get along. There was always this distance where he spaced out dates far apart
And he never flirted over text. He took several days to reply. I wondered why he was dating me at all but on dates I was reminded of how well we got along
And wow was he handsome.
Suddenly he ends things and says he doesn’t feel romantic. Tells me it’s a him thing and nothing to do with me
I’m hurt and confused and wondering what’s wrong with me. But then he comes back to be friends. From time to time he’s checking in, asking to see me and when we’re togetehr he’s always saying how well me and him get along too. Then I won’t hear from him from a while again. Last week he messaged me, exchanged a few short messages and then I asked him how he’s doing and he just stopped replying
And here I am wondering what’s wrong with me and I’ll never have a partner
Could he have his own issues? Part of me wonders if even he likes women at all as he’s certainly not dating anyone else, I spoke to him about it last time we met up.
In fact, he had quite feminine looks to him, he would come with a shoulder tote bags to date. He would talk about the new hair oils he was trying. He never really gave me compliments on dates. When I was naked he complimented my body ‘ooh the way that open shirt frames your boobs.’ And that he liked my underwear. Coupled with the issues during sex. He would never cuddle me after either and in the mornings I felt he just wanted me to leave and he became distant
But something was off. And after he ended things with me he deleted all his dating apps. Could I be right about him not even liking women perhaps? The last 2 guys I dated also came out as gay and I had no idea
Hope there’s nothing wrong with me. Really struggling to find someone now :(

Okay so for context my ex (m20) and I (F19) broke up back in January. we met at 17 and 18. our relationship started perfectly as most do and then of course in the downfall I was finding a bunch of sketchy things he was doing such as liking half naked women, only following women, only snapping women, phone always on dnd, as well as a second Snapchat.. those things were “fixed” (he got much better at hiding) and we tried to continue to work together. Eventually it turned into me being accused of cheating and him even breaking up with me because “he thought he heard someone say I cheated on him” I was in love with this man giving my entire world to him I practically lived with him and did everything he could ever ask.. anyways that breakup didn’t last more than 48 hours and after the breakup I thought we seemed to get closer than ever, in fact I ended up just fully moving in with him and his family… while staying with him all the time I would often bring my childhood dog to the house for weeks at a time because my dog loved my ex and his family and they all loved the dog.. anyways skip forward abt 6 months of living there and always having my dog there and it feeling like our own little family, I caught him on a dating app for minors. That he’d been using throughout our entire relationship including after the first breakup.. so I left him and we haven’t spoken since… but in the breakup because I was still in love with him and emotional I really didn’t think we’d end up no contact, part of me was still trying to convince myself he was a good person and we’d still be talking… so I told him I’d let him know when my dog is passing so he could come see him… well it’s now 4 months of no contact later and I def don’t want to be in contact with him anymore but my poor pups finally being put down, and I know he loved the dog so part of me wants to break no contact to stay true to what I said to him and just to at least let him know… but the other part of me hates the idea of talking to him and I feel like he might not even care anyways so why reach out if it might be pointless or just hurt my own feelings more..

Any suggestions
Before I explain the situation. I know a lot of people have different boundaries so please respect. I want to break up with my boyfriend because I don’t trust him anymore. I have my reasons to why. On the 3rd month of dating I let him know that I didn’t feel comfortable him having half naked women on his social media, and he told me he don’t pay any mind attention to that. & I just suggested him to erase them when he comes across them and he agreed. I asked him to why he don’t just erase them he said cus he don’t care for it. Anyways second issue, I used to see a lot of girls Snapchat him and when I mentioned it he said he spoke to his girl- friend that is married and I have met before and his guy friend, although I didn’t believe it I chose to give benefit of the doubt. Only reason why I didn’t believe is cus I saw a recurrent snap emoji of a girl. But I thought to myself it’s just a friend. Everything went down hill as time went by, he in fact commented on the girl snap story “ sexy” on her photo & mentioned to me it’s a girl he used to like/talk back in hs. I didn’t see their conversations but, she was sending heart emojis. Anyways, I chose to stay in the relationship bc I thought to myself it’s just a comment. Even tho it was eating me up that he did that. So that triggered me to check his following and the pictures he be liking on instagram , he was following soooo many girls and liking half naked pictures of women. I was so confused cus he told me don’t pay mind attention and more confused to where he was finding these random girls and following them. I mentioned to him about liking half naked women and told him that I would move on if he continues and he said , okay I understand there’s no excuse for my actions ….. he mentioned it’s a habit. W.e anyways I then asked him to show me his IG DMs bc he was following so many girls I thought to myself what if he’s messaging them , well he showed me and nothing. I asked him nicely brought the concern calmly. Anyways, he felt like I was accusing him. But I just wanted to make sure. Then, I kept on seeing his followers and my last straw was when he followed a stripper. Anyways I mentioned his following at the wrong time when we were in vacation. And he said it’s to get inspiration to take pictures of me that’s why he followed women. Anyways, we left it there and then I brought it up again he got so defensive and tired that I was bringing up this issue again and to why I’m bringing social media. I told him how it made me feel and he said he’ll stop and that it’s a habit. Anyways, yesterday I looked through his following and saw he liked a half naked picture of women after we had that conversation. He told me he was erasing women that was showing ass on Facebook , & instagram & that just showed me bs. Thing is right now he’s in basic training for the army so I can’t do much about it now. But I don’t want to be with him, I feel like there was never a solution and was just slapped with a band aid and he told me he’s only doing the unfollowing and stuff just out of “courtesy”. I’m not sure when and how to break up with him. He’s in basic now and then I see him on his ceremony .We been together for 7 months and this issue has been recurring…. And I’m afraid it will. I see no point of working it out cus it’ll be a long distance relationship. My trust has been broken many times. Also he has wandering eyes . I mentioned to him on the 4th month of dating that he has wandering eyes again he told me it’s a habit and he don’t be noticing that… I told him it’s okay to find other people attractive it’s natural but to break a neck it’s where it becomes an issue and staring . Before he left to basic we went to a concert and I saw him staring at a girl and when she walked by he looked back . Right at front of me. What should I do? Is it really a habit ?

In every piece of fantasy media I've consumed....

• Magic always involves a spinning circle made of light covered in runes
• Dwarves look suspiciously like underage girls
• Kobolds are dog furries
• Slimes are always shaped like naked women
• Sexual slavery is romanticized, if not outright promoted

If you think this says more about my own media consumption habits, let me tell you I've never read, watched, or played anything in my life that doesn't fit these tropes to a T. Ever. These issues clearly apply to the whole fantasy genre as a whole. It's disgusting, sexualized, trashy, and panders to the sort of person who isn't allowed within 100m of a school. Which is why this genre has to change.
So why don't we do something different for a change? How about we have works where...

• Magic that doesn't need flashy circles to indicate it's magic
• Dwarves who are bearded scotsmen with a knack for mining
• Kobolds that look like skinny humanoid dragons
• Slimes that are shapeless blobs that kill you
• Slavery is portrayed as evil

Again, this has nothing to do with the exact works I choose to consume. /s

By popular demand, I guess...
I was kinda just being a smart-ass, but some of you wanted more so here it is: epilogues for every NPC as if they didn't continue to travel with Gorion's Ward and instead just decided to live their own life. Obviously, there are some implied alignment changes here.
This turned out to be longer than I expected and I kinda just threw it all together while I was working. Please excuse any typos or sloppy writing.
I want to apologize for one thing, though. Viconia's epilogue really only works if GW is a male, so I had to make that assumption for the sake of her story. If it matters any, I easily play just as many female GWs as I do male GWs. In fact, I probably play more female GWs because I don't care for the romances, frequently play the canon party, and want to nip the lame Jah romance in the bud.
But, to have them all in one place, I included my original smart-ass epilogues with the additional ones I created. Now, every character from BG1 and BG2 has an epilogue. I don't have the EE characters, though, because I play the original games and don't really know them.
So, just for funsies, which one is your favorite and why?
"Anomen continued to wait at the Copper Coronet for a party of adventurers willing to travel with him. Maybe it was the grating sound of his voice, or perhaps the way he leered at women, but he continued to remain alone. Eventually, he needed to find work to make ends meet. With Gorion's Ward having disbanded the slave traders and pit fights, Hendak had to find a new form of entertainment for the patrons. As such, he invented an all male review ladies night, and Anomen found work as a 'dancer'. He left the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart to join the less noble order of the pole. He also renounced his faith to Helm and instead allied himself with Waukeen because if you wanna see some groin, you gotta have some coin."
"Despite Gorion's Ward clearing the trolls from her keep, Nalia was not able to reclaim her lands and instead lost her estate to Lord Roenall. The lord offered to let her retain residence in her family's ancestral home, but only in exchange for her hand in marriage. Nalia found the proposition to be repugnant. Instead, she salvaged whatever wealth she could from her family's keep and moved to Athkatla to start a new life. She no longer helped the less fortunate, as she was now among their numbers and had her own problems. Nalia's lack of any practical skills combined with her sense of entitlement sent her into a life of failure followed by drinking and debauchery. She now spends more time back at the Copper Coronet than anywhere else. It is hard to say where she squanders her wealth more, the alcohol, or on the dancers during Ladies Night."
"After the incident with the Planar Sphere, Valygar was finally free of his past, could retire to his cabin, and pursue his true passion: writing. Ironically, the only inspiration he found ended up stemming from his family's checkered past. Valygar's only works that even had middling success were 'Tuesdays with Lavok' and 'Dude, Where's My Planar Sphere', with the latter being made into a production at the Five Flagoons Theater."
"Haer'Dalis continued to work as a performer at the Five Flagoons Theater. Unfortunately, it struggled due to poor management. It might have turned out better if an outside agent with fresh ideas had stepped in, but Gorion's Ward had better things to do than be a bard. While the work was generally steady, the returns were not great and the material was a little low-brow for Haer'Dalis' liking. The tiefling realized he reached rock bottom when he was cast as the lead in a play about a buffoon who apparently lost a plane-shifting apparatus the size of a small castle and had to find it before his parents returned from Neverwinter. After the opening night, he took his own life in his dressing room. His body was found the next morning with a note saying, 'Art is dead and I am art, so I shall join art in death.' Biff the Understudy stepped in for Haer'Dalis despite never having an opportunity to read the script. Nevertheless, the production was a resounding success and launched Biff's career to new heights."
“A heartbroken Garrick found work as a character actor at the Five Flagoons Theater, but eventually gained more success as a writer and director. He found it to be a mostly agreeable situation, aside from a tiefling primadonna who would constantly belittle his work and call it ”trite" and “drivel”. Fortunately, that situation worked itself out in time and Garrick found Biff to be much easier to direct. With the tiefling gone, his ideas had room to grow. He invented a new kind of love story, one where the protagonist doesn't always get the girl at the end but the journey to that ending would be quite amusing. He labeled this genre “the Comedy of Romance” and the works were mostly based on his own life. His plays were quite popular among the commoners, with his top selling shows being 'Sleepless in Saradush', 'Silverymoon Linings Playbook', and 'Crazy Rich Aasimars'. He eventually fully transitioned off the stage into the director's chair. By the peak of his fame, he was married to none other than Queen Ellesime."
“Aerie continued to work at the circus and WOULD NOT SHUT UP ABOUT HER DAMN WINGS. Even Quayle eventually grew sick of hearing about it. This put strain on their relationship. Things took a turn for the better when Ribald Barterman acquired a new curiosity for his shop. It was a magical ring which he sold to Quayle at a reduced rate out of sympathy. This ”treasure" was actually a cursed Ring of Deafness, which Quayle found to be anything but a curse and wore it for the rest of his days."
“Xzar and Montaron were both slain at the hands of the Athkatla Harpers, but this is actually where their story begins. Xzar, as he had done so many times before, had a backup plan of an arcane nature should death befall either he or the halfling. Their mortal essences were pulled to a pocket plane he created. There they could be channeled into restored bodies cloned at his estate. With this particular round of ritual, Xzar had incidentally made a slight error in the incantation and the two found themselves in a time suspended state in Xzar's pocket plane. It was only five minutes for the rest of the world, but it was fifty years for them. This turned out to be a pivot point in their relationship. Having only each other's company in this shadowy void, they were finally able to work out their feelings for each other. When they had returned to the prime material plane, they discovered their mutual animosity was replaced with love. Rather than pick up their life where they left off with the Zhentarim, they decided to pack it all in, moved to Bryn Shander, and start a bed and breakfast. Montaron rediscovered his halfling roots and love for the culinary arts while Xzar would perform seances to connect guests with their late loved ones. Scones and Bones became an overnight success and was consistently listed as a “must see” in Volo's travel guides. In their golden years, the couple co-wrote a memoir of their journey, ‘Brokeback Montaron’, which is sold in bookstores everywhere."
“After briefly crossing paths with Gorion's Ward, Mazzy Fentan continued her crusade as a de facto halfling paladin. She eventually found herself petitioning for membership at the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart in Athkatla after she had singlehandedly saved a village from an ancient dracolich. Despite the extent of her virtue and accomplishment, her petition was denied on the basis that halflings could not possibly be real paladins. This inspired her next crusade, one to break down vocational barriers for all demihuman races. Why couldn't halflings be paladins or dwarves be wizards? And why did gnomes always have to be illusionists? It simply made no goddamn sense. She began to get traction with her quest when she attended lectures by the wizards of the (sword) coast in Candlekeep. With their help, she ushered Faerun into a new edition era where there would be no vocational barriers for adventurers based on their race. Soon, the world began to see roguish halflings that also venerated Helm, while tending to the wilds as a druid. Half-orc bards also studied as wizards while manifesting natural arcane abilities as sorcerers. Tiefling paladins took their crusades to the wilderness and served as rangers, while sidelining as clergy to Mystra. The world was now a liberated place, free to not make any goddamn sense in a myriad of new ways. At one point, Lady Mazzy Fentan of Trademeet (now formally a paladin) crossed paths with a dwarven shadowdancebard and in that moment she regretted everything. Seriously, just take a moment and picture that. It would look fucking ridiculous.”
“Yeslick's clanhome was flooded once again. Despondent and without options, he took work at a smithy in Baldur's Gate but never stopped dreaming of finding both a clan and a home. He found a way to bring this dream to life after a courageous halfling paladin broke down the barriers for, among other things, dwarves to be wizards. Yeslick had an idea. He studied magic diligently until he was able to cast two spells of great importance: Water Breathing and Permanence. He then searched the lands for other clanless dwarves who would be willing to try something new. With the new clan he formed, Yeslick permanently gave all his fellow clansman the ability to breath underwater. They then moved into the flooded Cloakwood Mines and built the first underwater dwarven stronghold. Using his arcane powers, Yeslick also developed the ability to speak with the marine life that shared this stronghold. And, with that, the clan Aquadwarf was born. At one point, Valygar visited and wrote a play based on Yeslick's story. However, he couldn't even get it to stage at the Five Flagoons Theater. The illustrious director Garrick was quoted as saying, “A hero that can breath underwater and talk to fish? Nobody would go for that!"
“Keldorn finally retired from the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart and looked forward to a much simpler life. He rekindled his marriage with Lady Maria and life seemed to improve. It was rather early on when the couple discovered that Maria had become pregnant again. It was also not long after that when Peony, the housekeeper, also became pregnant. Maria started to ask Keldorn about this, but Keldorn started to get defensive and asked, ”Hey, who's the Inquisitor here?" Then Keldorn started to do the math with her to track the conception of Maria's pregnancy. She certainly did not want him to get to the end of that equation, so she quickly changed the subject. She suggested getting a new maid, but Keldorn chastised her for abandoning someone in their time of need who had been like family for years. He forbade Peony's departure claiming that his god, Torm, would not stand for it. Maria then made a passive aggressive comment about Torm being the god of loyalty, but she was mostly just muttering under her breath to get the last word in. Eventually, both children were born and had probably the most awkward upbringing of anyone in Faerun."
“After Gorion's Ward helped Coran take down a wyvern, the rogue brought the beast's head back to the mayor of Beregost for the reward and accolades. He thought this put him in a position to be a hero of great renown and perhaps, just maybe, people would stop mocking him for his flashy attire and completely superfluous eye mask. They didn't. He only gained acceptance when he crossed paths with a ranger who seemed indifferent towards Coran's keen fashion sense. Coran traveled the Sword Coast with his ranger sidekick, righting the wrongs against the ‘little guy’ and taking the law into their own hands when needed. This partnership dissolved when he discovered that the ranger thought Coran was the sidekick. As if! Coran tried to correct the ranger, whose argument was, 'Really, man, if that outfit doesn't scream sidekick then I'm Elminster's twin brother.' The ranger was not related to Elminster and shared no resemblance.
“Kivan never was able to get his revenge on Tazok. Unbeknownst to him, that honor was taken by Gorion's Ward. His thirst for vengeance continued to eat away at him until he found himself in a bat infested cave in the wilderness. It was then he snapped. He turned the cave into his secret hideaway, put together a disguise and started wandering the sword coast looking for evil-doers to punish. He would leave his calling card wherever he saved the day, a token of a bat with longer ears like an elf. And bats already had rather long ears so these bat ears were almost comically obtrusive. Nevertheless, his deeds were generally appreciated and the people stared calling him Bat-elf. For a short spell, another elf tagged along with him and tried to help, but he was so flamboyantly dressed that one could pick his sidekick out of the shadows blindfolded. Kivan eventually had to send him on his way. Unfortunately, his vigilante crusade abruptly ended after receiving a cease and decist order from DC Comics. Kivan could fight both monster and marauder all day, but his 14 Constitution wouldn't hold up against a lawsuit for trademark infringement.”
“Skie was deeply affected by both the death of her brother and the assassination of her father. And yes, her father was actually murdered and didn't lol-jk back to life in some crappy DLC. In any event, through these traumas, she came to realize the puerility of what she thought was her brilliant criminal masterminding. Instead, she decided to settle down and live a more responsible life as an upstanding citizen of Baldur's Gate. She took the reins of her father's estate after his death and rose to prominence as one of the Grand Dukes of the city. She maintained her relationship with Eldoth for quite some time, inexplicably, as he refused to get a job because he didn't want to take attention from his band which he swore was going to make it. However, the bard spent most of the day either lounging at Skie’s estate or gambling away his allowance with games of three-dragon-ante at the Helm and Cloak. Eventually, inspired by the book “Men Are From Menzoberranzan, Women Are From Immilmar," she decided to call it quits with Eldoth and sent him packing. Shortly thereafter, she met a man who was nothing like Eldoth and they settled down together to start a family."
“Eldoth's dreams of being a world-famous musician fronting the greatest band in Faerun never reached fruition. This was partly because he didn't actually have a band and partly because he didn't have the talent to write music. Instead, he just had a lute he purchased at Lucky Aello's Discount Store that only had one A-string and was missing the E-string. Also, Eldoth could only play power chords and he couldn't really sing and play at the same time. Most of the time he would just strum a chord or two and then talk about what the song would do next, often describing a solo and half playing it on an ”air lute" (while he was still holding an actual lute, mind you) to give people the idea as to how the song would sound when it was finally written. Yeah, he was one of those guys. After Skie kicked him to the curb, he bounced between various barmaids who clearly had low self-esteem, but not low enough to keep him around for long. Eventually, he got one of them pregnant and was forced into a shotgun wedding by the barmaid's father. He now works in the kitchen at the same inn as his barmaid wife. She helps the customers up front and he cooks eggs in the back. Eldoth continues to tell himself that this experience will just provide inspiration for his music and that someday he was going to get the band back together."
“After being rescued by Gorion's Ward, Xan made his way to Baldur's Gate to regroup. He spent an inordinate amount of time beating himself up over his failures and trying to muster the gumption to continue his quest to unravel the political turmoil of the region. However, it took him months to get to this point, and by that time, Gorion's Ward already sorted out the problems in the region. Discovering this, he deemed himself a failure yet again and sunk into a deeper depression. He pulled himself out of it when he met a woman who lost most of her family to violent deaths during the iron crisis, yet she still kept herself together and became a local success in a few short years. Xan immediately fell in love with the recently single Skie Silvershield and began to court her. They eventually married and started a family. At Xan's insistence, and inspired by his wife's name, their two daughters were named Sunshine and Rainbow. Xan was a staunch supporter of his wife's career and stayed home to raise the kids. When they were older and needed less attending, he followed a new dream and became a motivational speaker.”
“Korgan had his revenge against his backstabbing crew and employer, but he felt...empty. It was done, but he felt no satisfaction. Disgruntled and disappointed, he decided to lose himself in his cups at the Copper Coronet. Even this did nothing to alleviate his malaise. One night, having passed out drunk in a peasant room at the Copper Coronet, he dreamt of that final fight but something was different. In the background of the battle, there was a glow coming from the door of a shack and he heard the whispering of a language that sounded like it was from Kara-Tur. When he woke the next morning, Korgan returned to the rooftop and found the shack from his dream. He knocked and was greeted by a priest of Illmater. Korgan told the priest of his dream and he was led into the backroom where he found a man from Kara-Tur infirm and huddled over a cup of tea. The priest explained that he had just reincarnated this man of the faith using a heart delivered by a passing adventurer. Korgan took this as a sign, converted to the faith, and the two paired up to help those in suffering as a result of the schemes of others. The tales of Korgan and Yoshimo were not only told in many of a tavern by the bards, but also collected in graphic serials that were popular among the children of Athkatla.”
“Ajantis' death sent him into an afterlife at Everwatch, the realm of Helm. For his honor and diligence, the devout knight was granted an audience with his patron. Ajantis then told Helm what utter bullshit the god was. I mean, c'mon, he's the god of protection, the Vigilant One, and he couldn't protect a group of knights from a dragon's cheap illusion spell that a mage even tried to dispel with True Sight? It was like Helm wasn't even trying. Helm was stunned by the confrontation but also had no valid defense. Ajantis called Helm to a trial that was mediated by Tyr. After careful deliberation, Tyr determined that Helm was sleeping on the job and the judgment was to demote him to a lesser deity. Now, Helm was the patron of guards, but not actual guards that ever see action, just the ceremonial ones whose weapons and armor are super shiny and probably not even real. Ajantis was then granted Helm's old portfolio and became a god that truly protected his followers.”
“Viconia left Athkatla's government district perplexed. She was rescued from burning at the stake by Gorion's Ward and then immediately dismissed. She found this to be unusual behavior for a male. She was accustomed to men either trying to bed her or kill her, but this casual indifference was completely new. Viconia came to be obsessed with Gorion's Ward from a distance. She spiraled into a fantasy where the two of them had a future together. It was pretty bad. There were some extremely embarrassing vision boards involved and that wasn't even the worst of it. When her mania reached critical mass, her obsession actually collapsed and she had an epiphany. She came to realize that she did not need this man, or any for that matter. She started on a journey of self discovery and took a moral inventory of her past relationships. She wrote about it in the book, “Men Are From Menzoberranzan, Women Are From Immilmar”. She then used the revenue from the book sales to open Athkatla's first feminist bookstore. In Her Words became a mecca for women, particularly those who felt trapped in bad relationships. The community that emerged here created the group, Friends of Galia, which strove to free women from abusive relationships. Eventually, the bookstore expanded to include an apartment block above that became a shelter for such women. Occasionally, the partners of these victims would come around to In Her Words in an attempt to drag their partners back home. You can probably guess how a confrontation between a drunken 0-level commoner and a Drow priestess of Shar ends."
“Faldorn was defeated by Jaheira in Trademeet and lost her title of Arch-Druid. In truth, she was relieved to be relieved of the position. Years of pushing forward the Shadow Druid agenda led Faldorn to realize that she had lost touch with the real Faldorn along the way. After some soul-searching, she reinvented herself as a lifestyle guru and developed an entire line of organic health and beauty products under the name, She-Wolf. Both her products and seminars were all the rage in Athkatla, specifically among noblewomen who clearly had too much free time. Faldorn eventually gave up her residence in natural environs for a lavish estate in Athkatla's government district. Her following soon pressured her to petition to join the Council of Six after the fall of the Cowled Wizards left the position open (aside from a short-term replacement). Her petition was a success and she soon found herself on the Council of Six. Under her leadership, she created created the FDAA, the Food and Drink Association of Athkatla. Now, instead of draconian rules governing magic in the city, equally restrictive rules and standards were applied to the food and drink that the people consumed.”
“Barely surviving being gravely wounded by Irenicus, Tiax left Spellhold for Athkatla where he intended to do what he did best: rule. Learning from his past campaign mistakes in Baldur's Gate, he changed his slogan from ”Tiax Rules!" to “Make Athkatla Great Again”. Of course, what he thought would make Athkatla great was putting himself in charge as a despotic leader. But, he toned down that aspect of his platform and instead focused on the history of scheming and backroom dealing of the Cowled Wizards (as if he was any less evil or scheming) and promised the people he would be different than all the other corrupt politicians. Miraculously, despite his obviously apparent character flaws, he succeeded in replacing the Cowled Wizards' representative on the Council of Six. He decided to take their stance on restrictive magic to the next level and banned magic entirely. Since he didn't study the arcane himself, it was no skin of his nose. This move undermined his support base leaving him with only the most backwards and ignorant followers. He was ultimately removed from his position when he insisted the city build a wall around the planar sphere and was expecting that the city's wizards would be the ones to pay for it. After his removal, his few remaining extreme supporters organized an invasion of the main government building under the guise of freedom of assembly. All nine of these “rebels” were rounded up, tried, and sent to prison. Tiax was convicted of treason and reincarnated in Spellhold, which was now just a common prison. After his eventual release, he was prohibited from seeking any position of power in Amn."
"Edwin Odesseiron continued to lay low with the Shadow Thieves for a while. The Cowled Wizards suffered a crippling blow as a side effect of the conflict between Gorion's Ward and Irenicus. Edwin decided to step in and finish the job. His thought was that he could wipe out the Cowled Wizard remnants and then take credit for their defeat, thereby gaining him more clout among the Red Wizards of Thay. After many conspicuous mage battles in the streets of Athkatla, he succeeded. However, the people who noticed his efforts the most were actually the people of Athkatla. They were tired of living under the Cowled Wizards' iron fist and Edwin was lauded as a liberator and hero. He even had a statue in his image raised in Waukeen's Promenade. Edwin was initially nonplussed over people finally giving him the credit he always felt he so rightfully deserved. But, he quickly came to accept their praise and bought in to being a champion for the people. Edwin continued his agenda of liberation when a clearly insane gnome who found his way on the Council of Six tried to ban magic entirely in the city. Edwin and his followers were primarily responsible for having the madman removed from his seat.
“Shar-Teel, Safana, Branwen, and Alora all happened to cross paths with each other at Elfsong one evening. Shar-Teel was looking to fight a man, Safana was looking to shag a man, Branwen was recently petrified by a man, and Alora was just excited to be somewhere new. The four got to talking with each other and, despite having wildly different personalities, seemed to hit it off. Shar-Teel was sarcastic and aggressive, Safana was self-absorbed and man-hungry, Alora was kind and sweet, and Branwen was the matriarch of the group. You wouldn't think this lot would get along, but they actually did, and their differences merely become the fuel for innocuous hi-jinks week after week.”
"With Gorion's Ward's help, Cernd was able to rescue his child that he then abandoned again at the druid grove near Trademeet. He promised that he would return to raise the child, he just needed to run to the general shop in Trademeet for some pipeweed. He never returned, but that was pretty obvious since he didn’t even smoke. Cernd continued to wander Faerun. It came to light in Cormyr that Cernd had actually married, and had children, with numerous women in Cormyr, Amn, the Sword Coast, Tethyr, Calimshan, Turmish, Halruaa, Icewind Dale, Chondath, Sembia, Impiltur, the Silver Marches, and even the Troll Hills (don't ask). Furthermore, it was discovered that Cernd was not actually a druid, just a werewolf that had a Ring of Goodberries. The druid con was so that he could have a reason to abandon his wives and children and move on to a new situation. You would be surprised at how many women could fall for a guy that can conjure an impromptu picnic in the park. Unfortunately for Cernd, Cormyr was not the kind of place to run afoul of the legal system. For the crime of bigamy, he was sentenced to life in prison. He never set foot near a druid grove again, but he was allowed to participate in a work-release program tending to the gardens of nobles.
“Kagain returned to his shop and grew even more bitter, but not over what the death of Entar Silvershield's son had done to his reputation and business. Instead, he resented that even the Enhanced Edition of the game didn't give him a remotely decent companion quest. By Moradin's hammer, Cernd even had a pretty involved companion quest and the story there both starts and ends with a deadbeat dad! Also, Kagain can regenerate! Korgan can't even do that. And another thing! He was sick of people confusing the two of them as if all dwarves look alike or something. Ok, granted, they're both old dwarves with greying beards, but Korgan's beard is tied while Kagain's beard is brushed out. Of course, none of this made sense to anyone, even to Kagain who never actually crossed paths with Cernd or Korgan. However, the dwarf had nothing to do with his time except stand in his shop, isolated and alone, until he was done in by insanity and plantar fasciitis.”
“The death of Khalid shook Jaheira to the core. She convinced herself that she could never love again, certainly not so soon after his death nor with anyone that would be a child in her eyes. That would be absurd and rather tacky. After her escape from Irenicus' prison and deposing Faldorn from the druid grove, she took over as Arch-Druid. Being a Harper just wouldn't be the same without Khalid. However, the grove would allow her to explore a new, but comfortingly familiar, phase of life. She had barely been installed as the Arch-Druid when Cernd dropped off his child and disappeared again. He did not even stay long enough to tell Jaheira the child's name. Knowing he would likely not return, she named the child Khalid after her lost love. Realizing there were other children our there without families to care for them, Jahaeira would send her subordinates to wander nearby lands and bring them to the grove for a better life. Perhaps not surprisingly, many of these children happened to be Cernd's. She eventually renamed the grove to Kinder Garden in honor of the grove's new purpose of giving these children a kinder upbringing. Jaheira's headstrong personality served her well with these lost children, who all loved her as they would any mother. The Kinder Garden became the most thriving druid grove in all of Faerun. Jaheira eventually died in 1547 DR, with hundreds of children haven been rescued in her lifetime, and a memorial was erected in her honor at the grove. The inscription read, 'Nature's Servant Awaits.'"
“After being freed from Irenicus' dungeon, Minsc put his boots on the ground at the Copper Coronet. Being the simple man that he was, he found himself unwittingly recruited into fighting in the gladiator pits (before Gorion's Ward was able to free the slaves). Yet again, Minsc took a blow to the head. But this time, its effects were something completely new. No longer was he the slow-witted evil-slaying ranger, armed to the teeth and packing a hamster. Instead, his intelligence and wisdom started to blossom and he explored, through dissertation, the impact of modern civilization on the overall ecosystem of Faerun. Indeed, before Minsc started his work, the people of Faerun didn't even have the concept of an ”ecosystem". He left Athkatla to pursue a residency at Jaheira's grove where he could study and work in peace. He published works like, “The Intersection of Geopolitics and Biodiversity: Living More but Dying Sooner”, “The Essential Symbiosis Between the Savage and Civilization”, and “Moral Urbanization: Seeking a More Comprehensive Prosperity”. Minsc continued his studies and writing and ultimately produced enough groundbreaking works to have his own annex in Candlekeep. It was shortly after the dedication of this annex that Minsc disappeared from Faerun, never to be seen again."
“Jan Jansen's fate was the most impressive of all as his endeavors shaped the very fabric of Faerun for centuries to come. His story truly serves as a moral lesson for everyone and we should heed its virtue quite seriously. Helping Lissa and Jaella planted a seed of regret in Lissa with regards to her marriage to Vaelag. Speaking of seeds, this reminds Jan of a time when he was helping his Uncle Scratchy with his turnip farm. However, Uncle Scratchy was hoodwinked and the seeds he received were actually purple carrot seeds. You can imagine Uncle Scratchy's surprise when they sprouted and he suddenly had a field of purple carrots. Well, as you probably know, you can't make turnip stew, or turnip casserole, or turnip pie with purple carrots. But it just so happened there was a mage tower nearby and the resident mage needed a vast number of carrots. Apparently, her plan was to animate them as a kind of vegetable army to combat a myconid infestation in cave system rather close to her tower. Of course, animated carrots are quite self-assured and were immune to myconoid's confusion spores. Anyway, Jan had a once-removed cousin, Bobil, that was lost in those caves when he was a young gnome. He had wandered so deep that he found himself in the den of a solitary xvart who was obsessed with a magic ring. Bobil happened to purloin that ring but it turned out to not be magic at all. However, it was still worth enough for Bobil to buy himself a nice cottage in Trademeet. He then started his own turnip farm and had better luck than Uncle Scratchy. Wait, what were we talking about, again?”
“Boo continued his mission to study the sentient life forms of Faerun and determine their potential impact on the metaverse. He preferred the continued company of Minsc due to the ranger's kindness and protectiveness. Boo found this to be quite valuable in his current miniaturized state. Even after Minsc's accident, where his intellect began to expand, Minsc never lost his good heart and inherent kindness and the two remained the best of friends. It was a number of years later that the term of Boo's mission was complete. A team of his fellow people arrived on a spelljammer to collect the giant miniaturized space hamster. Minsc (and Boo) were on a retreat in a remote part of the Neverwinter Wood when a vessel shaped like a giant acorn landed in a nearby clearing. A number of human-sized anthropomorphic hamster-like beings, who called themselves the Ysoki, emerged and met with Boo. One had a strange crystalline device which it used to restore Boo to his proper size. Minsc naturally remained composed while all this was happening. He and Boo talked often and he knew this day would be coming. Boo returned to the spelljammer with his brethren to debrief on the mission. The Ysoki wanted to bring a sample back to their homeworld for further learning and study. Boo offered Minsc for the task, as the exemplar human would fit in nicely with the Ysoki's advanced culture and society. Everyone was in agreement and made the offer to the ranger. Minsc felt like he had made every contribution he could to the people of Faerun, so he accepted and boarded the ship. Boo, excited to finally be on a spelljammer again, took the helm and plotted a course for his homeworld. At his side sat his friend and faithful companion, Minsc.”

Nothing scandalous here, I just need to vent. I'm less than two months away from turning 30. I've never been in a relationship. I've never had sex. I've never seen a girl naked in person, been seen naked, felt up a girl, slept in a bed with a girl, or even cuddled. I did kiss a girl, but it was just a couple quick kisses on the lips. Hell, my first kiss was also when my last date was, over eight and half years ago. I feel like a failure, a weirdo, an outsider.
I know not everyone is out there having sex in high school, or hooking up in college. But I wanted to have those cliche experiences. Instead I just let my anxiety control me. I stay in my comfort zone and now it feels too late to get out. I know I'm still young, but after four years of therapy I don't feel I'm much different.
Sure, my therapist will say I've made dramatic improvements. I moved out of my parents house, I'm on meds, I got convinced to get on dating apps. I have a decent paying job, I'm reliable and always there, no student loan debt, no car debt, I have a 401k, I have friends, I'm smart, friendly, funny, and just in general a good person. But I still have low self-esteem and confidence. I built some up over the first two some years of therapy, I started to think I'd had a chance with women. I mean, I can actually have conversations without making it sexual and I'm respectful.
That's why my therapist was finally able to talk me into using dating apps. After a year I've had zero dates. In real life I still can't approach strangers in general so forget approaching a cute girl and trying to flirt or as her out. Hell, I don't even know where the hell people go to meet people. And now that I'm living on my own I'm lonely all the time. I come home to nobody. I eat dinner alone. I go to bed alone and wake up alone. And what's worse, I'm tired.
Just... tired. I work manual labor so I get home tired. I relax and I'm still tired. I tried exercising, still tired. I'm just tired of being tired. And I don't have the motivation to change anything not that I even know what to do to change. It's like I'm suffocating but I don't know how to get air, and if I did I don't have the energy to get it. I'm so tired I came the closest I'd been to suicide since high school. Probably the only reason I'm still here is I don't want to burden somebody else with the mess. Rope, gun, pills; somebody will find me and somebody will have to clean it up. Train, car, bridge; somebody will be traumatized and have to clean it up. I can't inconvenience somebody like that. I'm not sure if that means I'm thoughtful or so low on myself that I'm not worth the hassle.
So if this is how I feel after years of therapy, how many years until Im good enough to be in a healthy relationship? How will I even handle a relationship? How bad will I be at sex? How off put will women be by a 30+ year old guy who has never been in a relationship, dated, had sex, or even got to first base? How bad will I be living with somebody else? How long until I learn how to date or flirt or kiss? How long until I feel like I can really live?
I'm just torn. I want to live life. But I don't know how. There's things I want to do. But I'm too tired and too caught up in my own thoughts and anxiety.
So I turned to reddit. I met some wonderful people, they told me I'm cute, I'm kind, good at writing and conversing, that I'm a catch. A couple of them even talked about meeting and maybe seeing how we vibe and maybe having sex. Of course then they stop talking suddenly and I'm left to start over again. Finding someone you can just easily track to is so hard. Finding someone to talk to who isn't trying to sell you something is fucking hard and exhausting. And then you find them, put in energy and effort into cultivating that friendship, you see it start to blossom, and then one morning you come out and find out a deer ate the friendship down to the roots overnight. Now all you have left is a pot of dirt with what was something that made you smile. Something you looked forward to seeing.
I'm just tired of being tired. I'm tired of wanting to have a woman want me, desire me, want to hold and comfort me, wanting someone to choose to spend their time with me. I'm tired of wanting to have someone I can spoil, I can put my skills towards making happy, who I can hold and comfort and support. I'm tired of wanting to feel someone's embrace, their head on my chest and their arms around me, a simple kiss, moments of lust and passion, a simple touch on the arm or their fingers weaving with mine. I'm tired of not knowing what I want or what to do or what will make me happy. Im tired of not even being sad, just feeling tired.
I just don't know what to do, what to change, how to change. I wish I could just give up and live alone, happy to play video games and be alone. I always remember a quote from a TV show:
"The universe is a cruel, uncaring void. The key to being happy isn't the search for meaning; it's just to keep yourself busy with unimportant nonsense, and eventually, you'll be dead." - Mr. Peanutbutter

some men truly do not care about breaking up their own family…‘don’t like it? leave’.
yes I bet you would love that, so you can play the victim- ‘she left me, I didn’t do anything, I never would have left’ he would love it if I left, so he can continue his absolute favorite pass time of touching his 🍆 and looking at naked women….. LIKE REALLY!? actively choosing your hand over a ready and willing high sex drive wife? my previous relationships were so fun, the sex was amazing, adventurous, daily multiple orgasms whenever I came on to them or they wanted it ….. how the heck did I end up with a man who openly prefers his hand and his phone?!?! no sex drive at all…. boring in bed… i’m heartbroken over everything that comes with the consequences of porn.
and he isn’t struggling to stop. he openly doesn’t want to stop. he struggles to hide it, he struggles to find more time to indulge. he loves when I just leave him alone, let him do it. his favorite is when i’m not home… he starts fights so he can justify his alone time and acting out….
I need to face reality. porn is his one and only true love.
I am just the live in nanny and maid. the nagging annoying ugly woman who lives in his house and takes care of every. single. one. of his non sexual needs. the one who makes his outward appearance to the world look perfect. his friends and family think he has the whole package. and he DOES. a big house in a beautiful development, 3 kids and 1 on the way, a stay at home wife who stays in shape, cooks and cleans for him, washes his clothes and even takes out the trash and mows the lawn because he can’t be bothered to lift a finger because ‘I work to pay the bills, the rest is your job’
he has everything. appreciates nothing. uses me for appearances. only kind when he can benefit from it.
so entitled, so controlling. so robotic and emotionless unless the emotion is anger.
I don’t ever remember agreeing to this life.
so disappointed in myself for making the decisions that led me here.

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Jungle Book 2 (2003) (MA/HD) $6.50
Jurassic World Collection 1-5 (iTunes/4K) $17.50 (MA/HD) $8.50
Jurassic World Collection 1-6 (MA/HD) $11
Jurassic World: Dominion + Extended Cut (2022) (MA/4K) $6.25 (MA/HD) $3.75
Justice League: War World (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Kandahar (2023) (MA/4K) $7
Karate Kid (1984) (MA/4K) $6.50
Kick-Ass (2010) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.25
Kicks (2016) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $4.50
Kidnap (2017) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.75
Kimi (2022) (MA/4K) $6.75
Kin (2018) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Krampus (2015) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $4.75
Kung Fu Panda 3 (2016) (MA/HD) $3
La La Land (2016) (Vudu/HD) $2.25 (iTunes/4K) $3.75
Labor Day (2013) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
Lady and the Tramp (1955) (MA/HD) $5.75 (GP/HD) $3.75
Last Duel, The (2021) (MA/HD) $5.25 (GP/HD) $4
Last Voyage of the Demeter (2023) (MA/4K) $7.50 (MA/HD) $7
Last Witch Hunter (2015) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $1.50
Lawrence of Arabia (Restored Version) (1962) (MA/HD) $5
Legend of Hercules (2014) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3
Leon: The Professional (Extended Cut) (1994) (MA/4K) $6.50
Life (2017) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $2.50
Lighthouse (Vudu/HD) $6
Lightyear (2022) (MA/4K) $4.75 (MA/HD) $2.50 (GP/HD) $1.75
Lilo & Stitch (2002) & Stitch Has a Glitch (2005) (MA/HD) $9.50 (GP/HD) $5.50
Lion King (1994) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $2.75
Lion King 2: Simba's Pride (1998) (MA/HD) $6.25
Little Monsters (1989) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Little Women (2019) (MA/HD) $5.50
Live Die Repeat: Edge Of Tomorrow (2014) (MA/4K) $5.50
Lone Ranger (2013) (MA/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $2.50
Lone Survivor (2013) (MA/4K) $6.25 (iTunes/4K) $2 (MA/HD) $1.50
Longest Ride (2015) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $1.25
Looper (2012) (MA/HD) $2.75
Lords of Salem, The (2012) (Vudu/HD) $4.75
Lost City, The (2022) (Vudu/4K) $5.50 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5
Love, Simon (2018) (MA/HD) $2.75
Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile (2022) (MA/HD) $4.25
M3GAN + Unrated (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Ma (2019) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5
Madagascar Collection 1-4 (MA/HD) $15
Maleficent: Mistress of Evil (2019) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) $3.75 (GP/HD) $3.25
Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (1977) (MA/HD) $6.50
Marksman, The (2021) (MA/HD) $5
Marlowe (2023) (MA/HD) $6.50
Martian - Extended Cut (2015) (MA/4K) $7.75 (MA/HD) $5.25
Martian (Theatrical) (2015) (MA/4K) $7 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $3
Mary Queen of Scots (2018) (MA/HD) $6
Maze Runner Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $14.50
McFarland, USA (2015) (MA/HD) $6 (GP/HD) $4.50
Meg 2: The Trench (2023) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5
Meg Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $8.50
Memory (2022) (MA/HD) $3.75
Men (2022) (Vudu/HD) $5
Men in Black (1997) (MA/4K) $6.50
Men in Black Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $14.50
Mickey & Friends 10 Classic Shorts - Volume 2 (2023) (MA/HD) $6.25 (GP/HD) $5
Mickey & Minnie 10 Classic Shorts - Volume 1 (2023) (MA/HD) $5.25 (GP/HD) $3.75
Midnight Meat Train (Unrated Director's Cut) (2008) (Vudu/HD) $5
Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (2016) (MA/HD) (iTunes/4K) $3.75
Minions: The Rise of Gru (2022) & Minions (2015) (MA/HD) $7.25
Minions: The Rise of Gru (2022) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5
Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children (2015) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2
Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $7
Mission: Impossible Collection 1-6 (iTunes/4K) $20 (Vudu/HD) $18
Mitchells Vs. The Machines (2021) (MA/HD) $4.25
Monster Hunter (2020) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $4
Monster's Ball (2001) (Vudu/HD) $6
Monty Python's The Meaning of Life (1983) (MA/4K) $6.75
Moonfall (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $4.75
Morbius (2022) (MA/4K) $5 (MA/HD) $3
Mortal Kombat Legends: Cage Match (2023) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $5.50
Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpion's Revenge (2020) (MA/4K) $4
Mud (2013) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3
Mulan 2 (2005) (MA/HD) $3.75
My Fair Lady (1964) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
My Girl (1991) & 2 (1994) (MA/SD) $6.50
Natural, The (1984) (MA/4K) $6
Never Grow Old (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
News of the World (2020) (MA/HD) $3.50
Night at the Museum 3-Movie (MA/HD) $11.50 (MA/SD) $8
Night Before (2015) (MA/HD) $4.50
Nightmare Alley (2021) (MA/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $3.50
No Country For Old Men (2007) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
No Hard Feelings (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Nope (2022), Get Out (2017) & Us (2019) (MA/HD) $9
Northman (2022) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $3.75
Now You See Me 1-2 (Vudu/HD) $4 (iTunes/HD) $6.50
Nun 2 (2023) (MA/HD) $6
Nutcracker and the Four Realms (2018) (MA/4K) $5.75 (MA/HD) $3
Oliver! (1968) (MA/4K) $6.50
Olympus Has Fallen (2013) (MA/HD) $5
Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre (2023) (Vudu/4K) $7
Oppenheimer (2023) (MA/HD) $7
Other Guys, The (2010) (MA/4K) $6.50
Ouija (2014) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Outfit (2022) (MA/HD) $7
Over the Hedge (2006) (MA/HD) $6.50
Overboard (2016) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.50
Oz the Great and Powerful (2013) (MA/HD) $2 (GP/HD) $1
Pacific Rim Uprising (2018) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $4.25
Pain & Gain (2013) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3
ParaNorman (2012) (iTunes/HD) $5
Paul (2011) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $4.25
Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015) (MA/HD) $3.75
PAW Patrol: The Mighty Movie (2023) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.25
Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010) (MA/HD) $6.75
Peter Rabbit (2018) & 2 (2021) (MA/HD) $7.50
Peter Rabbit 2 (2021) (MA/HD) $4
Philadelphia (1993) (MA/4K) $6.50
Philadelphia (1993) (MA/4K) $8
Pitch Perfect Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $11.50
Pixels (2015) (MA/HD) $5.50
Plane (2023) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $5
Planet of the Apes 1-3 (Newer) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $10
Pocahontas (1995) (MA/HD) $6.25
Poms (2019) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Pope's Exorcist (2023) (MA/HD) $5.75
Power Rangers (2017) (iTunes/4K) $3 (Vudu/HD) $2.50
Pretty in Pink (1986) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Prey for the Devil (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016) (MA/HD) $6
Prince of Egypt (2002) (MA/HD) $5.50
Proud Mary (2018) (MA/HD) $4
Psycho (1960) (MA/HD) $4.50
Purge, The (2013) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2.75
Puss in Boots (2011) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
Raid Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $11.50
Rambo Collection 1-5 (Vudu/HD) $12.50
Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Ratatouille (2007) (MA/HD) (iTunes/4K) $7.50
Red (2010) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.25
Red Dawn (2012) (Vudu/HD) $5.25 (iTunes/SD) $2
Red Sparrow (2018) (MA/HD) $4
Red Violin, The (1998) (Vudu/HD) $5
Replicas (2019) (Vudu/4K) $5
Reservoir Dogs (1992) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5
Riddick Collection 1-3 (Unrated) (MA/HD) $13.50
Ride Along 1-2 (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5 $2.75 Each
Rings (2017) (Vudu/HD) $2.75 (iTunes/HD) $1.50
Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2010) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5.75
Risen (2016) (MA/HD) $4.50
Room (2015) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
Rudy (Director's Cut) (1993) (MA/4K) $6.50
Rumble (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Runner Runner (2013) (MA/HD) $3.25
Saint Maud (2020) (Vudu/HD) $6
Same Kind of Different as Me (2017) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2
Saw (2004) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.25
Saw Collection 1-7 (Vudu/HD) $9.75
Scarface (1983) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5
Scary Movie Collection 1-3 (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $13.50
Scoob (2020) (MA/4K) $4
Scream 5 (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5
Scream 6 (2023) (Vudu/4K) $7 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $6.50
Scream Collection 1-3 (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $13.50
Searching (2018) (MA/HD) $6.50
Secret Headquarters (2022) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Secret Life of Pets 2 (2019) (MA/HD) $5.25
Secret Life of Pets Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $7.25
Secret Life of Walter Mitty (2013) (MA/HD) $2
Semper Fi (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.25
Sessions (2012) (MA/HD) $4.25
Sex Tape (2014) (MA/HD) $2.75
Shack (2017) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $1.50
Shang-Chi (2021) (MA/4K) $6 (MA/HD) $4.75 (GP/HD) $2.75
Shape of Water (2017) (MA/HD) $3.25
Shaun the Sheep Movie (2015) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
She's Having a Baby (1988) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.75
Shrek the Third (2007) (MA/HD) $6
Shutter Island (2010) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Sicario: Day of the Soldado (2018) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $3.75
Sick (2023) (MA/4K) $6.75
Silent Night, Deadly Night: 3-Film Collection (1989-1991) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (2014) (Vudu/HD) $6
Sing Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $6
Singin' in the Rain (1952) (MA/4K) $6
Sisters (Unrated) (2015) (MA/HD) $4 (iTunes/HD) $3.25
Slender Man (2018) (MA/HD) $5.25
Smile (2022) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $6.25
Smokey and the Bandit (1977) (MA/4K) $6 (MA/HD) $4.50
Smokin' Aces (2007) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Snowden (2016) (MA/HD) $3.50 (iTunes/HD) $4
Social Network (2010) (MA/4K) $6.50
Son of a Gun (2015) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Son of God (2014) (MA/HD) $1.50
Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (2022) (Vudu/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Space Between Us, The (2017) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
Spell (2020) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $5
Spider-Man Collection 1-8 (MA/HD) $26
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021) (MA/4K) $6.25 (MA/HD) $3.50
Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5
Spirit Untamed: The Movie (2021) (MA/HD) $5.50
Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron (2003) (MA/HD) $4.75
Spotlight (2015) (MA/HD) $5 (iTunes/HD) $3
Spy Who Dumped Me (2018) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Stand Up Guys (2012) (Vudu/HD) $2.75
Star Trek Beyond (2016) (Vudu/HD) $1.75 (iTunes/4K) $3.25
Star Trek Collection 1-3 (Vudu/HD) $9.50 (iTunes/4K) $13.50
Starship Troopers (1997) (MA/4K) $6.50
Stoker (2013) (MA/HD) $4.50
Straight Outta Compton (Unrated Director’s Cut) (2015) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Strange World (2022) (MA/HD) $5 (GP/HD) $4.25
Stuber (2019) (MA/HD) $5.25
Studio 666 (2022) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $6.25
Suburbicon (2017) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.25
Suffragette (2015) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $3
Super Mario Bros Movie (2023) (MA/4K) $7.25 (MA/HD) $5.50
Super Troopers (2002) (MA/HD) $5.50
Superman: Red Son (2020) (MA/HD) $4
SW: Empire Strikes Back (1980) (MA/4K) $7 (GP/HD) $3.50
SW: Rise of Skywalker (2019) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) $4.75 (GP/HD) $2.25
SW: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016) (iTunes/4K) $3.75 (GP/HD) $1.25
Sword in the Stone (1963) (MA/HD) $5.75 (GP/HD) $3.25
T2 Trainspotting (2017) (MA/HD) $7
Tag (2018) (MA/4K) $6.50
Taken Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $9
Talk to Me (2023) (Vudu/4K) $6.50
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006) (MA/4K) $6.50
Tar (2022) (MA/HD) $5.75
Taxi Driver (1976) (MA/4K) $6.50
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (2023) (Vudu/4K) $7.50 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $6.50
Thanksgiving (2023) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
Think Like a Man (2012) & Too (2014) (MA/HD) $8.50
Thor (2011) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $7 (GP/HD) $3.50
Thor: Love and Thunder (2022) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $3.25 (GP/HD) $2
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (2017) (MA/HD) $3.50
Ticket to Paradise (2022) (MA/HD) $5.75
Till (2022) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Titanic (1997) (Vudu/4K) $6.50 (Vudu/HD) $4.75 (iTunes/4K) $6
Top Gun (1986) (Vudu/4K) $4.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.50
Total Recall (1990) (Vudu/4K) $5 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.75
Trading Places (1983) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Training Day (2001) (MA/4K) $6
Transformers 1-5 (Vudu/4K) $25 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $23
Transformers: Rise of the Beasts (2023) (Vudu/4K) $7 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $6
Trauma Center (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $3.25
Trolls (2016) (MA/HD) $1.25
Trolls Band Together (2023) (MA/HD) $6.50
Trolls Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $5.75
True Story (2015) (MA/HD) $5.25
Tully (2018) (MA/HD) $5
Turbo (2013) (MA/HD) $2.50 (iTunes/SD) $1
Turning Red (2022) (MA/HD) $3.75 (GP/HD) $2.50
Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.75
Uncharted (2022) (MA/4K) $5.25 (MA/HD) $3.25
Uncle Drew (2018) (Vudu/4K) $6 (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3
Uncut Gems (2019) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
Underwater (2020) (MA/HD) $5.50
Underworld: Awakening (2012) (MA/HD) $1.75
Unhinged (2020) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Up (2009) (MA/HD) (iTunes/4K) $7.50
Usual Suspects, The (1995) (Vudu/HD) $6
Vertigo (1958) (MA/HD) $4.75
Vice 'Christian Bale' (2018) (MA/HD) $4.75
Violent Night (2022) (MA/HD) $5.75
Vivo (2021) (MA/HD) $4
Walking with Dinosaurs (2013) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
WALL-E (2008) (MA/HD) (iTunes/4K) $7.50
Walt Disney Animation Studios Shorts Collection (2015) (MA/HD) $5.25 (GP/HD) $3.75
War of the Worlds (1953) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Waves (2019) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Whale, The (2022) (Vudu/HD) $6
When the Bough Breaks (2016) (MA/HD) $4.50
Where the Crawdads Sing (2022) (MA/HD) $3.75
Whiplash (2014) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
White Boy Rick (2018) (MA/HD) $5
Widows (2018) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $2
Winter's Bone (2010) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5
Witch, The (2016) (Vudu/HD) $3.50
Woman King (2022) (MA/4K) $5.75 (MA/HD) $4
Wonder Woman: Bloodlines (2019) (MA/HD) $4
World War Z (2013) (Vudu/HD) $3.25 (iTunes/4K) $4.50
Wraith, The (1986) (Vudu/HD) $5
X (2022), Hereditary (2018), Witch, The (2016), Green Room (2015), It Comes at Night (2017) (Vudu/HD) $14
X-Men (2000), X2 (2003), X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) (MA/HD) $14
X-Men: Apocalypse (2016) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2.25
X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019) (MA/HD) $6
X-Men: First Class (2010), Days of Future Past (2004), Apocalypse (2014) (MA/HD) $10.50
Yesterday (2019) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $4.75
Zombieland (2009) (MA/4K) $7.25
Zombieland: Double Tap (2019) (MA/4K) $7.25 (MA/HD) $5.25

All i remember is one scene where it cuts to a place like a brothel or a naked bar (idk what it's called.. genuinely) or it mightve been just a place with have naked women.. the lead look teenage (male) and it cuts to him sitting on a couch (maybe with a friend just one.. they look like stereotypical movie dorks) with many attractive women sitting next to them on both sides touching thighs

From my Fetlife. Prepare for cringefest. Tell me your thoughts about my cringe.
Hello, everyone. I'd like to introduce myself to you.
Ever since I turned 20, I've been dreaming of becoming another woman's housewife (or, as I like to say, a "wifey"), but I've never exactly known how to make it become a reality. I've always been an extremely submissive person and life hasn't treated me very well both for being like that and for trying not to be like that. I score extremely highly in agreeableness and I take great pleasure in serving those I care for. Specifically and preferably, a woman I love and who also loves me. Today, I'm looking for a romantic, ordinary and 100% monogamous relationship with a woman, but one that includes the element of dominance and submission and the possibility of me being her full-time housewife. While she works, I take care of the house. When she comes home, I take care of her. Always very lovingly and completely given to her body and soul as well as to the household's domestic duties. In practice, I want to be the woman in the relationship. I want to go far beyond the basics such as cooking and cleaning: I want to be responsible for doing her nails, her make-up and giving her massages whenever she wants them. I want to learn to cook everything she likes to eat. Maybe even learn gardening to take care of her plants. Perhaps the origin of this is an innate need of mine to be necessary and useful to someone and I guess that is how it is.
Inevitably, I believe this relationship would also include elements of platonic worship. The reason for this is that I have always harboured an adoration for the female figure, the female energy, the female essence and the female appearance. None of this is sexual. In fact, I feel that this element of platonic worship is so strong that I would even feel uncomfortable seeing my dominating partner naked because it would make me feel the same dirty lust for her that I'd feel for porn actresses when I'd watch their movies and I feel that this would be disrespectful to her and to what her image represents to me. This adoration for the female figure is also one of the reasons for my gender transition, which began in September of 2023. I admire the feminine image so much that I want to make it a part of me. I don't like being a man, looking like a man, being treated like a man, behaving like a man and, God fobid, dealing with masculine gender roles. I have an enormous need to feminize my gender expression because that's what makes me happy.
For reasons that are far beyond my control and that may sound cheesy, I always end up seeing women whom I find beautiful to be superior to me. Not in a bad way, but simply in a kind of hierarchy where I'm below them. So, for some reason, I feel fulfilled imagining myself serving them in a completely devoted way. In a way, I can sum myself up as a human Golden Retriever in terms of loyalty, perhaps to pathological levels. Such a level of unexplored and repressed loyalty that I can easily imagine myself getting so deeply involved with the right woman and creating an emotional bond so indestructible that I would go as far as burying a body with her without giving it a second thought. It's as if there were a hurricane inside me waiting for the ideal conditions to form and destroy everything in its path to reach its goal. My goal is domestic servitude within a romantic relationship and this storm inside me will only grow larger and larger over time. I don't see much value in ordinary work as in working for a company. I only see meaning and purpose in domestic work in a relationship for and with a woman I love with great obedience, dedication, submission and gratitude. I don't see myself as a leader, but as someone to be led.
I come from a place where I suffered a lot of verbal abuse directed at my appearance for being too thin and I see that the world today is full of evil people with an evil intent who get off at doing evil things and also of people who omit themselves when they observe evil being done and end up becoming accomplices by omission. All of this makes me really want to put myself in a kind of safe space with someone trustworthy where I don't have to be constantly watching over my shoulder in order to check whether there already are vultures circling me from above waiting for the ideal moment to pounce. I look like an easy victim for predators and I've always attracted them without any difficulty, unfortunately. I am soft and highly sought by them. I want to be able, if only for a few hours, to let my guard down completely knowing that I'm not in danger and that I'm with someone well-intending who, at worst, doesn't wish me harm and, at best, actively cares about my well-being. In other words, a relationship like any other. I very much want and like the idea of giving myself body and soul to a woman who has consideration for me, for whom I have value and who is in charge of the relationship (FLR). As I said, I want to put myself in a situation of total vulnerability in a controlled and safe environment with a person I can trust and who means well. I want to put myself below them in every situation and always put them before myself unconditionally. I want to live under domestic servitude, as well as having a romantic, ordinary, monogamous relationship like any other. If there's no love, there's no point. I can't explain exactly what I feel, but I see this dynamic as the most honest way I can express love to my owner, mistress and friend. This is the rawest and most sincere manifestation of my personality. And please don't get me wrong: I'm not here trying to "cure" myself through BDSM or draw attention to myself by talking about my problems that nobody cares about. I'm just putting all this into context and explaining objective reality as it is, that's all.
I have no idea how I'm going to fulfill this dream and where I'm going to find this woman. I see a lot of profiles here of dommes who are only in it for fetishistic reasons and to make money and that makes me a little sad. But I understand, since a relationship can end up being a very big responsibility and many women don't want this kind of burden in their lives. Not to mention that the temptation of financial gain must be too great for them not to take advantage of. And in an economy like this, I think it will be considerably difficult to find a woman who will want to keep someone at home without generating income just taking care of the household chores. The odds don't seem to be in my favor and the entire setting seems less than ideal.
I feel disgusted by and abhor any fetish scenario that involves the element of being a housewife, maid and the like, especially if it includes elements of humiliation for carrying out such activity. I understand that for some it can be pleasurable, but for me it's despicable. I can't associate being a housewife with something humiliating and if that's your intention with me, don't get in touch. As for sexual activity in general in a relationship, I don't have much to say. Hormone replacement therapy completely obliterated my libido and I see no purpose in any activity that promotes my sexual pleasure. To all intents and purposes, I've become somewhat asexual. I'd accept being penetrated by my domme if she wanted to, since I'd put her wishes before my own, but I feel it's hardly something I'd ask for. I'm much more interested in the emotional side of the relationship than the sexual.
Still on the subject of sexuality, I feel that the word "virgin" isn't accurate enough to describe myself. This word is used to refer to people who have never had sex, which is my case, but I've also never had any other intimate experience with a woman. It's not that I've never had sex, I've never even hugged a woman in bed. I've barely experienced any degree of intimacy with a woman before. I suppose this complete lack of sexual experience will be viewed in a very bad light by the women I seek, but I don't think there's much I can do about it. I have no interest in having these first experiences with, for example, a prostitute because I'm looking for a real emotional connection in a legitimate relationship. I'm a romantic and I have no choice but to wait.
I can't imagine a life in which I allow this dream not to come true. It can't not happen. If it doesn't, I'll have an extremely bitter deathbed full of regrets.
When it comes to the woman I'm looking for, I only have three demands: don't be a drug user (cigarretes included), be a gentle domme and unconditionally monogamous.
My gratitude for you will be eternal and my debt to you unpayable.
I hope the woman I'm looking for is out there waiting to be found.

I have two reddit accounts, so if these stories are familiar, that's why. Someone commented that one of these sounds like abuse from my Christian parent to me. So I've compiled all most of them here. (Most of them are to do with Christianity, the hypocrisy of Christianity, or the consequences of my choice to leave it.) Please be honest but also recognize that this isn't all the times sometimes these are amazing people and I love these people but for my sake I need to know if it's really that bad.
"I'm rather young. My mom (42F) and my dad (41M) both grew up in the church. My grandfather is the pastor of his own church and my mother was raised by her grandmother who played piano in the church. Growing up I'd say I was the perfect little Christian girl. I liked praying and went to church, I wanted to help the world, and I wanted to be baptized before I even started kindergarten. I remember that vividly. I was sitting in the kitchen in one of our folding chairs because we couldn't afford real ones and I was begging my mom to let me get baptized.
My family and I are African American. The church I went to when I was little was a black church. My mother was the praise dance choreographer so of course I did praise dancing. I'd go to Sunday school, I wore the big puffy dresses, and I knew all the songs. Of course I had the common experience of being assaulted in a sexual manor by someone I went to church with. But we were both the same age and I just knew I was uncomfortable and she just knew that's how people bigger than us touched each other. All that came of me telling my mom and me not having to go to her house anymore. I was always told that I was intelligent and I believed everything I was told without question. Then my sister was born and we moved. At first everything stayed the same. We ended up having to switch churches as the previous one was an hour away from our new home. We found a new church. A church were you can wear your hoodie and jeans like it's a Tuesday. I made friends and played sports and nothing really changed until I was eight. When I was eight there was a girl on my softball team I'll call E. E is Jewish and at the time I thought everyone was Christian. As in Christianity was the default and only option. But my friend E's church wasn't called a church but a synagogue, and she couldn't eat specific foods together. E also talked about BaBat Mitzvah's. When I brought that up to my mom she said my friend was Jewish and that being Jewish is like being Christian but they read from the old testament exclusively but they don't believe in Jesus.
Which a while later caused me to spend all night crying because I put the two and two together of: Believing in resurrection Sunday and that Jesus was gods son is what got us into heaven and I cried worrying one of my closest, sweetest friend and her nice family would go to hell. Then school, which had always been easy, became hard. Which made me feel dumb. Especially since my self worth was put into how smart I was and I wouldn't dare get below an A or high B because I was scared I'd get punished. Like the time I slammed my fingers a metal door on accident and spent the next fifteen minutes in tears and my mom told me if I kept crying she'd take me to the hospital to have them cut off my fingers. Because of moments like that disappointing my parent or having to big of an emotional reaction was not okay and it made me scared and uncomfortable. They knew I was struggling, they were the ones who stayed up till four something in the morning with me trying to explain the concept. But with every minor and major struggle I felt like my worth was slipping away. But the better I did in school the more my outstanding grades became the expectation which resulted in acknowledgement for my academic achievements disappearing. I felt like I was falling apart so I'd spend hours pray and begging god for help. To take the feeling of being worthless away. I developed an eating disorder sometime before ten. Specifically binge eating. My parents would find the trash, not understand that it was more than just "the sin of gluttony" and yell which made me feel threatened and eat more food.
And then I'd pray on my knees on the hard wood outside my room door with nails and splinters in it and hurt myself because not only was I a dumb glutton but I also apparently wasn't good enough for god to save or help. It made me think if he wants a relationship with me so bad why does he ignore me? I'd hold a knife to my wrist when I'd wash dishes to see if I felt him then. I questions if I'd even go to heaven. For all my problems the answer was to pray but the problem was I'm doing that but my prayers aren't being answered. I was having thought of death no twelve year old should have. On my birthday I was like a puppet simply going through the motions. Then I started questioning my sexuality. Not to mention, I'm now cut off from the world because this is all during covid, on the bright side they gave me my door back. Now I'm older and I have questions like. How was Adam able to name all the animals and understand god not wanting him to eat from the tree and their need to stay in the garden, but not comprehend his nakedness? How was Eve able to be tempted and not understand her nakedness? Why did they and apparently god think being naked was wrong? How are we not all messed up from tons of inbreeding and how do animals still exist after the inbreeding the would've occurred after Noah's ark if he only saved one male and female of each species? Why did god want to flood the Earth and purge it of it's evil humans if he was the one who decided free will would be a good idea? Since he is perfect and all knowing their shouldn't have been a moment of let me make something I'll destroy, wait nvm. My parents have changed a lot since I was little and have let me go to therapy. Of course I have a Christian therapist. Which I wouldn't mind if it wasn't for the fact that every time I bring up trauma that's linked to religion or need advice in terms of how to change a bad behavior or over come anxiety the advice is to pray. And at times I feel like I'm in a moment of doubt she feel she should try and pull me back in. But they also said I have to volunteer in the childern ministry at church.
I used to work with children ages three to five. Now I'm in one to three. And it feels like I'm spreading propaganda. They tell me what to say and what the goal is for the kids to believe by the end of the month. After I can't help but feel dirty. I'm at the point in my journey were I don't believe. But I have to keep working in the childern ministry, I have to go to church every Sunday, my parents are both devotional authors with published books. I'm the only one in my family who doesn't believe both extended and intermediate. I just wanna know I'm not crazy. I feel like I'm being brainwashed or something. Like drink the blood and eat the body of Jesus!? It's all too much. And now that my parents know they're trying to make me go back to believing. And I listen to them talk and it's like I can't have a conversations with you. You put your faith above all else. You believe whole heartedly, my point of view is automatically wrong to you because faith trumps logic so why would I share it with you? But at the same time it's majority of the music they play, it's all their advice, I go every Sunday, my classmates and friends are majority Christian and yet I even though I see the flaws and hypocrisy, I still can't help but wonder, am I the crazy one?"
"My grandma would grab me and call me "big booty Judy." And my butt was grabbed, spanked, and frequently talked about. Sometimes she'd just sit there tapping it while she talked. It started when I was around three or four and just continued. Though now I'm in my teens and rarely see her. But my breast were also a topic for a while. Comments like "where'd you get those from?", "she's bigger than you.", and "her sisters the tall one but she's the curvy one." They felt icky but I didn't dwell on them. But she's also an alcoholic along with many other things. She dated my mom's friends when she was in college, gets shit faced in at events like birthdays and funerals. Shakes her ass on family members and frequently offered us alcohol. But I always took pride in being her favorite grandchild. Which she constantly reminded me I was. She also has a serious spending problem. But the funny thing is. She goes to a church church. She's in the choir and used frequently as a look example. She hosts church events and potlucks. She even remarried in the church. Never mind the things I just said that'd be considered sins. She's the perfect Christian woman."
"How do you cope with the level of disrespect? I'm not eighteen yet, but I'm still able to be disrespected. My main problem is the disrespect from my parents. My parents who wish to be respected in their beliefs and don't want their minds to change. But at the same time, my dad has sent my scriptures and stuff for the past couple of months since it came out. I don't believe in God or Jesus. They force me to serve and volunteer at church and attend every Sunday. They paired me with a not so ethical Christian therapist. Then both gang up on me about it and take my silence as defeat when I'm just respecting their beliefs. I'm literally the only non Christian in my family. I also have mental problems from staying with them and just in general, but they won't test me because I don't behave in such a stereotypical manner. I want to say they love me, but does someone who blatantly disrespects you love you? I'm having a hard time with seeing if I should do something as drastic as no contact after I reach a certain age.
But at the same time their those awful parents who don't just blatantly suck but also have messed me up quite a bit, resulting in me not feeling like I have a right to be upset. I've told them about how Christianity mixed with their parenting drove me to suicidal thoughts, almost going through with it, and an eating disorder I'm still battling. I also can't just leave and close the door behind me. I'm the oldest, and their are two more kids just like me, and if I turned my back on them, I'd never forgive myself. They're my siblings, but they're also what stopped me from going through with the bad thoughts I was having. They need someone who will be honest, say the weird things, and answer the ignored questions. So, how can I deal with the blatant disrespect so that I'm around for them? What skill for stress management can I use? How do I block out the constant religious gaslighting that happens in church? Because I have over two more years of this."
"My dad said if people don't wanna have a baby, they shouldn't have sex even if they're married. But sir, you had three babies while financially unstable because you couldn't keep your damn hands off my mom. You were planning me, but your job fell through, and when my mom went to get back on birth control, it was too late, so I'll give you a pass with me. But my siblings were both surprises. So, quit judging and practice what you preach. But that's not what pissed me off the most. He said women will put all their time into work and not their husbands, and that's why some men cheat, but the way he said it, it was like he was justifying it. But my dad, he'd go to hooters alone, and when I needed tights, he got them from a woman their and it made me think what if. And I know it's stupid, but that what if. It is so loud.
And it's not even the first time he's said something along the lines of justifying it and almost blaming the woman who gets cheated on. But then he likes to be all up in arms about how his friend married a woman who cheated on him multiple times. My dad's like, I wanna pour into my kids but then makes no effort, and when we spent time with him, we had to initiate it. He doesn't do the hey you wanna . . . stuff. But he has his own company, and they can't get any work right now, so he spends most of his time at home. And then says I'm just to tired to spend time with ya'll.
My mom was sick to the point of being half passed out in a drive-thru after taking my brother to karate and having to pick up dinner. I would've offered to drive him if I could. I'm still leaning, and I'm bad at staying in one lane. But my dad was really busy on his PS5 with his made-up football team. So busy he couldn't take my brother to karate nor could he pause his game to get dinner. I'm kinda starting to hate him. He's also done a couple of other things, but that's what recently has made me mad. But I don't feel like I have a right to be mad because he's here and a lot of my friends dad aren't, and he's not physically abusive like my best friends dad is. I just don't know how I should feel. Is everyone's dad like this?
Edit: It's mothers day and he couldn't be bothered to get the food, pick up the groceries, nothing. #1Dad guys."
​
So is it truly a horrible go no contact at eighteen situation, a be watchful situation, or is it fine? I know some of this stuff is a lot but some of it was also in a moment of extreme emotion. Remember like I said in the beginning they're not always like this.

I recently found out my fiancé had been watching porn even though at the beginning of our relationship i told him i didn't feel comfortable with it( we've been together 3yrs) i found him watching it while i was pregnant with our son and i felt hurt because we had discussed i didn't like that( i don't like the fact that he watches other women naked and gets off to it). and i recently found him doing it again so i have reason to believe he's never stopped and it hurts even more because i just had a baby and i know im not as beautiful as i used to be but i try to be. i was never insecure in our relationship i just don't like it although i know some relationships are fine with it i am not. we have had a very healthy sex life. i just feel really betrayed cause i take watching p*rn as cheating in some way and especially since he went behind my back and has done it. what would you do if you didn't want your partner watching it and they do anyways.

I grew up in a very homophobic country where the mere thought of being gay was inconceivable—girls were expected to grow up and marry men. When I was 21, I moved to the US. Even before I could shed my ingrained homophobic views, I started dating a man, eventually marrying him. We had two kids, but by the time I was 35, he left me. I think one of the main issues was our sexual relationship; I never enjoyed being intimate with him, especially not in the past ten years, and I used every excuse to avoid it, even sleeping separately. I had convinced myself I was asexual. So he found someone else, since I know how sexually unsatisfied he was.
The first three months after he blindsided me were filled with pain from the betrayal, anger, and worries. But this week, my friend asked me a seemingly innocent question: "Hey, now that it’s been three months, do you find yourself looking at guys and thinking—this one is cute?" That question made me realize I had been finding people cute, but they were all women. First, there's this mom at my kids' school—just seeing her makes me feel happy and safe. Second, I remember looking at a woman in the car next to me at a stoplight and thinking, "I wonder if she knows how beautiful she is." Third, I often find myself thinking about boobs; I’m curious about them and enjoy looking at them. I haven’t felt even a twinge of attraction to a man in these past three months, but I wonder if that's just due to the trauma of being hurt by a guy...
I’m very confused and unsure how to resolve these feelings. My preteen child so effortlessly knows they are attracted to both boys and girls, yet here I am at 35, still uncertain. I’ve always found women more attractive than men, but I assumed that was universal. Maybe it’s because one gender is inherently more attractive? I love reading Alison Bechdel and looking at pictures of naked women. Though I’ve had crushes on men, I’ve never allowed myself to acknowledge a crush on a woman. I’ve never liked the idea of being intimate with a man, and I detest the thought of male anatomy, perhaps due to being sexually assaulted by a man when I was a child.
I find safety in thinking I’m asexual—it allows me to focus on my job, my kids, and my friends without exploring sexuality, which frightens me. But am I denying my true self? I often feel like an imposter.
I would welcome any tips or thoughts. As a keen reader, are there books you could recommend? If I decide to explore dating women, how would I even begin to meet someone?