Depression trileptal for

I had always been a creative little boy who came alive in writing and in performing onstage. However, somewhere along the line I developed an obsession to be famous. I didn’t want to put in the work anymore since I felt like I worked hard all of my life–I just wanted to bypass all of that and just be at the point where I was giving my emotional Oscar acceptance speech. I still struggle with those thoughts that if I fulfill that dream I will be a content, happy, well-adjusted gentleman. I now see better that just wanting to be publicly adored and loved is a byproduct of trauma, and while I may never be a revered, rich artist in this lifetime, I want this post of my struggle with Feel Free to be my current magnum opus. It does meet the criteria of “art” since I am “pulling invisible experiences from inside of me and creating a visible artifact”, but I’ll let others decide if this is “language arts.” Really, what I am forcing myself to do is see this post as a way for me to release all of the guilt, resentment, and shame I am subconsciously holding on to. I want to heal my inner child, and to help close the emotional/psychological “hole” within me that I didn’t ask for. Maybe you, dear reader, can find something in my story to use as a weapon in your fight to cure your battle with substance use. Strap in.
“Sometimes telling your story is the one thing that will save your life.” Lidia Yuknavitch–former person struggling with loss of a child, homelessness, and heroin addiction turned mother, community college instructor, and writer. https://youtu.be/9AgCr2tTvng?si=Kq-D7Ymt7FaWzHO7
All of us are different, and every person’s struggle with Feel Free is on a case-by-case basis. Thus, I can only speak of MY experiences, but the harsh reality is that compared to how life was for a number of us as children, the world is a sadder place instead of the bright, shiny colors we thought it was while we were elementary school students. “To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.”--Friedrich Nietzsche. It hurts like hell to suffer, but it feels good to realize that suffering is the one thing that unites all of us–-from someone on their deathbed to the financially-wealthiest person on Earth we are united in our tribulations, and we are nothing without each other.
You are NOT a bad person, and you are NOT suffering from a “moral failure” if you are hooked on Feel Free. As I discovered with a good therapist based in Austin, TX, all substance abuse is a symptom of some deeper wound. In my case the real issue is the Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) diagnosed to me in 2022 due to the effects of childhood emotional, psychological, and physical abuse (hard spankings (even with belts) from my parents) that followed me into adulthood. Trauma is the REAL gateway drug, and I refuse to say that I “suffer” from addiction because I am NOT its victim–I am STRUGGLING with addiction because just like you I am a FIGHTER. Tell yourself that you currently have this trial but are STILL HERE, and celebrate yourself if all you can do right now is sit down and read this. Perfection be damned, and progress be in the limelight.
To paraphrase Dr. Gabor Mate’s claims which I find calming, “a person struggling with addiction is actually intelligent because they were searching for something to help solve a problem that is currently unbearable to them.” https://youtu.be/BVg2bfqblGI?si=1_KbtjEn9hVDXTbQ . Additionally, while I struggled with resentment and shame due to how much money and time I spent on Feel Free, I choose to adopt the viewpoint proposed by Ms. Jo Harvey Weatherford: “While addiction almost destroyed my life, it simultaneously saved it because if I didn’t have a way to check out during those painful times I don’t know how long I would have chosen to stay alive.” https://youtu.be/OJY4GkpRc7U?si=vxYvAuUexvZlnL4o
My name is Freddie, and I am working as hard and as best as I can to turn my current struggle with Feel Free addiction to something I “struggled” with--something that I fought, won, and left in the past. I was diagnosed with depression in 2006 and prescribed Citalopram (Celexa), then diagnosed with Bipolar II Disorder in 2012 and prescribed Oxcarbazepine (Trileptal) and Lamotrigine (Lamictal) in lieu of Celexa. I went back to Celexa, was taken off of Trileptal and Lamictal in 2013, and then a talk therapist diagnosed me with Histrionic Personality Disorder. I first came across Feel Free in November 2021 at a gas station in Fort Worth, TX. At this time, the bottles had the silver cap, and they were advertised as a “kava” drink. I had tried kava before and loved the feeling, so I thought that that was what I was enjoying after taking the shot. When I returned to Fort Worth in December 2021 to celebrate my favorite holiday of New Year’s with friends, I used Feel Free’s store locator to find a place to purchase it. I was taken aback when I heard the employee at the headshop say, “Oh, the kratom and kava shot?” I didn’t know it had kratom in it, but there it was listed on the bottle. I, too, had tried kratom powder and loved the feeling, so I purchased the Feel Free anyway. I wasn’t as addicted to it at the time–-I could go for long periods without thinking of it nor using it.
To paint a picture of the kinds of trauma with which I went through, from 2019-2022, I dealt with (1) a job reassignment in my hometown of Corpus Christi, TX from a fifth-grade to a kindergarten teacher due to low test scores (I felt very unhappy with that decision), (2) settling for a fifth-grade teaching job at the lowest paying school district in Austin, TX due to falling in love with someone there, (3) a loss of said Austin teaching job after one month due to a principal with a bad and quick temper, (4) finding out that my gay ex-boyfriend (I’m pansexual and still struggle with embracing my sexual orientation) who was still within his first year of alcohol-addiction recovery and used me to cure his loneliness and maintain his sobriety, (5) getting dumped by him and having to move into the guest room less than two months of me moving in with him (I don’t recommend anyone to live with their ex), (6) a driving-while-intoxicated (DWI) charge because one Monday night I was so sad with my ex since he had other men come over for sex while I was still living there, (7) gaining and then losing a director position at a private tutoring center due to both COVID and because the owners of the franchise were caught money laundering, (8) a mentally unstable girl I started dating who was hard-to-please, (9) another gay ex-boyfriend who got violent due to psychosis and chased me around our apartment because he secretly stopped taking antipsychotics since he thought we was “cured” after getting involved with me (he was essentially homeless), (10) an assault with injury (family violence) charge due to me thinking that it was legal for me to put my hands on the aforementioned ex with psychosis to get him out of my home (it turns out that Texas state law is that you CAN’T put your hands on someone to get her out of your residence, but you can use a gun), (11) a bankruptcy, and finally (12) the last straw that broke this camel’s back: an English-as-an-additional-language teacher job loss at a public school district (I was blessed to get this job since some schools bar anyone for employment with an arrest on their record) due to me speaking up about the constant micro-management and workplace harassment from my department’s nervous first-year administrator. My boss was obsessed with providing exemplary test scores so much so that he would tell me things like, “I know we have this textbook adoption, but we do not want to have our students see the same thing twice. They need to see more, so start making up teaching resources on your own in your own time and assign it to the students” (I once was so nervous with meeting his demands that I left a coworker's Christmas party early on a Saturday night in order to finish his lesson plans). My complaint caught the attention of my principal’s boss, so he invited himself over to my disciplinary meeting that my principal set up with me, and this man with whom I had hardly interacted called me a “gossip”, overrode the principal, and tore right into me. My abusive boss was assigned to be the mediator at my grievance hearing, so he ultimately decided that I should not be offered a contract for the next school year as retaliation.
I had a mental breakdown after I got the phone call about the firing. There was an OrangeTheory Fitness gym down the street from my apartment, and even though it was a hot, late spring day in Austin, I put on a beanie, sweatshirt, and sweatpants and went to that intense exercise class totally fine with the fact that I could die from heatstroke. I even thought of just leaving my apartment and walking until I would collapse, get hit by a vehicle, or mugged and murdered. I felt that the emotional pain was just too unbearable.
I did not want to move back in with my family. I did not want to go back to the very people who were unaware or in denial of the abuse that they gave me in my formative years. Not only did I not know who I was, I couldn’t spend anytime searching for nor living my authentic self around them. In an attempt to try to continue making it on my own in Austin, I got a quick job at a warehouse stuffing bras while I was working through the bankruptcy proceedings. I didn’t have wireless headphones at the time, so there I was–-a college graduate/certified Texas teachecurrent master’s degree student working 40+ hours a week doing repetitive tasks with nothing but catastrophic and ruminating thoughts going on in my head. There was at least one time when I was crying softly to myself at work and hiding it from others, and I thought of taking my life numerous times.
My parents don't understand; their viewpoint is, "HOW CAN YOU BE ADDICTED?!" However, a number of peers to whom I tell my story ask, "Damn. How could you not? By the way, you are one strong motherfucker." I can say the same for you, dear reader, if you're not giving up on the fight.
Nighttime became my favorite part of the day. The arrival of dusk was like a blanket going over me as I lay in bed falling asleep. I felt like nighttime was a time where I didn’t have to be anyone nor do anything since it was a time to be asleep, but in the early nights after experiencing those traumas I would wake up every hour on the hour worried about how my future was going to play out. Would I ever get married? Would I ever have children? Would I ever own a house? Would I ever have a stable career? My well-meaning, middle-class parents inadvertently raised me to be dependent on them, and they would always come in and save me whenever they found out I was in a bind whether I liked it or not. I subconsciously became complacent towards my tough life issues because “mommy and daddy could help take care of things”, so then I questioned: what would happen to me if all of my living ancestors (grandparents, parents, etc.) died right now? Would I ever have enough money for retirement? How will my life be when I am in my 60s, 70s, 80s? In short, I stressed about having to deal with unbearable, uncomfortable future feelings and situations, so I would put on my flip-flops and walk around my complex each time I woke up in panic at one, two, three, etc. in the morning. I just couldn’t lie down still–-my mind would race as soon as I fell asleep. In fact, I think the only time I had an amazing night’s sleep during that era was when a good friend of mine came over with dinner and spent the night with me. I was the little spoon, and this upholds the scientific finding that the opposite of addiction is genuine human connection: I got my appetite back that night, and I slept so soundly in my buddy’s arms that I had an eating dream. Let’s normalize all kinds of cuddling–-platonic, same-sex, etc,–-amongst people with mutual trust. No more shame nor awkwardness about it: in fact, science shows that there is a myriad of health benefits to human touch, including a boost in the natural happy chemical of oxytocin: https://www.rwjbh.org/blog/2023/novembehugging-health-benefits/ .
Virtually every morning during that period of time I would wake up incredibly anxious, depressed–-just unbearably uncomfortable. I wouldn’t find out until later after getting the CPTSD diagnosis that I was experiencing a symptom known as “brain dysregulation”. YouTube’s The Crappy Childhood Fairy is useful in helping understand and manage that problem should you think that you are struggling with this too (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ez2hTvGsDK8&list=PLl504D3b_OPgb4Un9P6s3TXpihO_2KmO_). In an attempt to push forward and NOT break down at work, I experimented with drinking two Feel Free bottles ($10 each after tax) in the morning right before the workday started. This was when all of the bottles had the silver tops and the original potent mixture. It worked wonderfully until I noticed one morning that the effects wore off as soon as I got to my employer. After work I would rush to the store to buy two Feel Free “just in case” I didn’t wake up in the morning feeling fine and “normal” like I used to pre-job loss.
“Addiction is incurable, fatal, and progressive”.--The Big Book of Narcotics Anonymous (NA) I disagree with the statement that addiction is incurable since a number of people are able to abstain successfully. I disagree a little less with the idea that all addiction is fatal since it seems that some addictions would need some extreme occurrences to lead you to an early grave (cannabis?), but I was naïve about the fact that addiction is insidious and progressive. One time while the attendants were busy at the store where I would buy Feel Free, I reached over the counter and got two in an attempt to speed up the process. I realized that they didn’t notice that I had done that when I got to the cashier, so I bought two more and left with four bottles–-I realized that I only spent $20 in total for four bottles…and I also realized that I got away with shoplifting. A second addiction entered the chat...
I started shoplifting Feel Free at more and more places when I saw the opportunity. I shoplifted them from 2022-early 2024, and there were only a handful of embarrassing times when I was caught. However, in my mind, I thought that it was worth it: I would look at all of the people around me and think that they “didn’t have the problems I did”, that “I was doing what I had to do to survive”, and that “I didn’t want to take my life because someway, somehow, I was going to end up in a position of power where I could use my platform to be altruistic.” As maladaptive as it was, I felt like I deserved to do what I needed to do since it was “a matter of life and death.” I had a good therapist at the time and was working closely with her. I held on to the belief that one day I would wake up and be “cured"-–no more cravings. Yet, I thought that I could fall back on using Feel Free should my ability to cope in a healthy way not work. Every morning was the same unfortunately-–I kept waking up with dysregulated.
I took advantage of Feel Free’s policy of contacting them for a free case if a store listed on the website didn’t have the product–-I did this three times under my name until I was cut off. Once while I was on a work trip in San Antonio, TX, I used my roommate at the time who was back in Austin to contact them about a location that didn’t have it there. I pretended to use his name as mine when the guy came to drop off the case. Two a day soon became four, four became six, six became eight, etc. On three-hour drives to Corpus from Austin (and vice-versa) visiting my family I found myself stopping at gas station after gas station and shoplifting/purchasing two more just to keep the high going.
2023 was when things got worse. I had done things like drink up to sixteen bottles one day, order an Uber to take me to and from a store that had them when I didn’t have access to my car, and successfully pretending to “accidentally” walk out with a twelve-pack box from a headshop and returning to it so that I could appear as an honest customer and get a discount. I pawned a few things to get some money, and when I had little to none I kept two empty Feel Free bottles on me so that I could pull the old “switcheroo”: I would fill them with water & food coloring and place them in my left pocket. I would go to the stores knowing full well that my card wouldn’t go through and ask for two. The attendants would give them to me, and as I presented my card with my left hand, I took the two Feel Frees that had the authentic mixture and put them in my right pocket. When the card didn’t go through after multiple attempts, I would say, “Oh well” and hand them the two bottles from my left pocket filled with food coloring and water.
It’s amazing how creative a person struggling with addiction can be in order to get a fix.
I would sometimes vomit due to drinking too much Feel Free. I took my car to a cleaner a couple of times and said, “I had an iced coffee in my hand and had to brake fast due to a crazy driver, and the drink flew out of my hand onto the dashboard”. TRIGGER WARNING: If I was nauseous and had access to a large cup, I would catch the vomit, and then drink it back in order to get the high. One student made a remark to another that I “threw up everyday”.
I hated the drink, but I loved the feeling. It soon caught up to me–-I found myself on the fence about drinking them first thing in the morning, and the next thing I knew I'm on the way to the store to get them. There were times right before I would drink them where I would start retching-–there was a disconnect between my body and my mind. I drank so much that at times I would pass out on the couch, I had waxy-looking skin around my shoulders, and my skin got so dry around the edges of my lips and knuckles that they cracked and bled. In fact, one day while I was at work teaching high school students at a credit recovery school, my lip just busted open and bled. A student had to point it out since I didn’t feel anything. Another student asked, "Do you have herpes?" It hurt when he asked that, but I just ignored him and kept moving along with my job.
I mixed Feel Free with coffee, tea, fruit juices, sparkling water, and alcohol (I especially do not recommend the latter). I would have intense cravings and think about using almost constantly, and as a teacher I left work multiple times when I didn’t have to watch students to buy more so much so that I earned a reputation of being “sporadic”. One day, I had drank so much that I had a hard time walking and standing straight, so I taught my afternoon classes seated behind my desk.
The symptoms of CPTSD kept me from holding down a teaching job, and the arrests on my record kept me from getting other positions in education, but I still had a part-time job as a tutor at a private tutoring center that I was holding onto for dear live. My apartment lease auto-renewal date of November 1, 2023 was coming up, but with me being unable to manage things at that time, I had to make a hard decision about what I was going to do in expensive Austin, TX.
Finally, I hit a rock bottom. I visited my parents in Robstown in October 2023, and since I didn’t have much money on me, I stole money from both of my parents’ wallets to buy Feel Free. They found out, and that was when I decided that I needed to do something about this problem: I was going to move back in with my parents to get back on my feet in exchange for me to go to a state-funded (read “free”) detox, rehab, and sober living center in Corpus Christi, TX called Cenikor. There are a number of Cenikors here in Texas, and I recommend that resource to you if you feel like you might need it. The one in Corpus is the largest of all of them, and some people from out of state venture down here to get well–-here is the website: https://www.cenikor.org/ . I scrambled to get enough money to get me back to Austin until my next paycheck, made some excuse to my boss in order to get me transferred from the Austin tutoring franchise to the Corpus Christi one, and put in my notice that I was vacating my apartment complex. I moved back to Robstown on Oct. 14, 2023, walked into Cenikor’s detox center (kicking and screaming, mind you) as a state-funded inpatient on Oct. 16, and put on the opiate-detox protocol. I detoxed for five days, stayed for the 30-day short term rehab program, stayed an extra 30 days in the supported living program where I was required to find a job within two weeks, and then the next two weeks I was required to save up 70% of my paycheck for sober living. I then moved into Cenikor’s sober living for 30 days until one day (yep, you guessed it) I lost my part-time job that I got while in the supported living program. I started looking for another job close to my sober living on the bus (I totaled my car during active Feel Free addiction) to a required NA meeting, and halfway to the meeting the house lead of my sober living notified me via text that I was being evicted for "theft". What happened was that one of my roommates was arrested for being a pedophile, and since I needed quarters for the bus and for sober living's washer & dryer I took all of his change and his bus pass. I thought, "Well, he's never getting out of jail, and no one will miss these." Apparently my other roommate (I lived in a six-man room with bed bunks, and I was a top bunk over a primadona) knew that the other was going to jail beforehand (why the hell did he not tell the Head of House about this?) and was asked to keep an eye on his belongings. He noticed the change missing and texted me at work about it (sighs--rolls eyes). I told him, "Okay", placed it all back, and then gave him an honest apology about it saying, "That will never happen again." He told the house head anyway.
There is a bit more to the story that I haven’t put in here, and I still have a couple of bottles here and there, but it is a marked improvement from where I was in the first half of 2022. I'm not going by the NA program's ideal of continuous abstinence since I learned about progress, so I try to focus on the fact that I am "progressing"--that day in Oct. 2023 will be my "clean date" even though I had some relapses.
Please don’t make the mistake in believing that recovery is just a perfect line going straight up–it’s more than likely going to be a line that zigs and zags but is still going in an upward direction. I refuse to give up the fight: I am currently in the Narcotics Anonymous program working the steps with a sponsor, and I am doing as much as I can day by day to analyze, evaluate, and create the best version of myself.
Feel free (sighs–trigger, lol) to reach out to me should you want a partner to walk with you as you go through this hell, but more importantly, understand that you NEED to be here in this life with us. Addiction is addiction is addiction, and you stay alive, Goddamn it. Make it a goal when you are on the other side of this to use your story as a water bucket that douses those who are still burning in the hellfires of addiction.
…and if no one else has told you this, I love you because you are an extension of me as I am of you.

Why do some people like Trileptal for bipolar depression when there doesn’t seem to be solid evidence that supports that? Is there a secret menu I’m missing?

Keppra: 6/10. Sleepiness, super increased anxiety and depression, no appetite at all (this went away with time, and so did all the weight loss 🥲). Would literally be able to sleep for days and still not feel rested enough. Still on it, and anxiety meds. Sleepiness got better over time, but still always more tired than I should be.
Trileptal: horrible. -10/10. Extreme nausea, extreme dizziness, vertigo, extreme blurry vision, unaliving thoughts out the wazoo. Dealt with this for close to a year because it was helping. Then it stopped helping and I did the “horizontal disco” in the passenger seat of my moms car
Lamotrigine/Lamictal: 7/10. HORRIBLE insomnia when I first started taking it. Went away with time, but there were times where I didn’t sleep for 3 days 😵‍💫 Only other side effect is completely random heavy duty nausea. As well as memory issues starting to emerge. Currently on it. (ETA: I also got horrible acne breakouts that come and go)
Midazolam: 9/10. Only taken in emergencies but definitely effective… and a good trip 😆

So I’ve (21M) been diagnosed with BP2, MDD, and cyclothymia for about 3 months. I initially tried Lamictal but quickly stopped after experiencing hellish side effects.
Haven’t tried anything else since as I am pretty spooked, but my psych urged me to try something else after basically saying I’m a ticking time bomb, especially since I quit weed recently.
He recommended depakote and trileptal, which I’ve been researching before our next appointment. I’m considering asking about Wellbutrin, as I feel like I primarily deal with the major depression and I’ve heard good anecdotes.
If any of yall have tried either of these I would love your input!

I made a post about my symptoms probably a week ago and they've been yo-yo'ing up and down since then. My sleep the past few nights has been atrocious and I suspect it's not due to my changing my laxative, but the Latuda kicking my ass. I've been on this medication a month and a half and it was fairly gentle at first. After my period things started to go haywire, beginning with worsening insomnia.
I've started getting akathisia like and TD-like symptoms after I eat and before bed that I didn't have before. Restless legs, involuntary tongue movements against my teeth, tingilng in my shoulders and wrists, things I wasn't dealing with during the early dosage phase at all. It comes and goes but when it comes it's exhausting.
One night I had immense, pinching chest pain. Past few days it's woken me up at like 3-5am and I can't get back to sleep for an hour or so, I will wake up a couple more times. Today I had to take a benzo to take the edge off. Should I go off? I literally just had a conference with my doc a few days ago saying I'd try another month and now I can't handle. I get a blood test done on tuesday and I'm considering waiting it out till then to see if my blood levels come back weird but I don't really want to suffer till then.
The sad thing is that it was helping me with my depression, psychosis and focus, but I cannot focus when my entire body dips into akathisia mode for zero reason. It's not livable. Should I also consider asking my pdoc about birth control on Tuesday if my cycle or hormones is somehow driving the reaction?
Does anyone have recommendations for what I should try next? I've tried Lamotrigane (allergic reaction, worked for about 1.5 months), Abilify (Akathisia from hell), Caplyta (painful digestive issues), buspirone (see caplyta), and now Latuda. I don't know if I can handle antipsychotics anymore, should I ask doc to consider another mood stabilizer. I hate blood tests but at this rate I think I'd rather deal with blood tests than go on another AP knowing they tend to cause me akathisia and TDlike symptoms. I've considered alternatives like Depoteke Lithium or even an off label anticonvulsant like trileptal.

I been on zoloft for 9 weeks, and was on abilify my first mth too. But still couldn't sleep well, so they changed to trileptal nd zoloft but I still felt depressed and gained a ton of weight. Bow, just started wellbutrin and zoloft and hoping that is the right mix. Anyone else on wellbutrin and zoloft ? What are your experiences on these 2 meds? Any weight loss? I'm hoping to lose weight on wellbutrin and get more energy to do things. Any thoughts would be appreciated!

Bipolar depression has really hit me hard the last two weeks. I’m on Rexulti and lexapro for depression and on trileptal for mood stabilization.
I’m really crafty and do a lot with my hands but haven’t been able to do a lot more than get dressed the last two weeks.
Anyone have any advice for when they’re suffering deep depression?

Feels like I see nothing but praise for lamictal on here. It was the first bipolar medication I tried and it was 2 months of fatigue, trouble waking up, and the worst part - body aches and joint pain. These side effects never went away, so I stopped taking it.
Fast forward 2 years and I'm a week into Trileptal, an anticonvulsant like Lamictal, and those exact symptoms have returned.
It seems my body hates these seizure meds and that they will NOT work as a mood stabilizer if I feel like shit every single day, which of course makes me more depressed and hopeless and less functional.
Has anyone else had a terrible time on anticonvulsants?

Hello. I would introduce myself But no names allowed 💛 I tend to be a happy fellow but I'm going through a rough time. I need advice. I've fallen ill due to a mysterious condition caused my gastric sleeve that has led me to throw up constantly and be low in nutrients. While I am getting tests done there is nothing I can do to remedy myself. I have been losing friends since I stopped going out and had to take sick leave from work. Now I am full on battling bipolar depression 24/7 with no distractions. It doesn't help that I had a bad reaction to trileptal and now all my medicines are screwed up. But in the end the reason why I'm here is because how I feel. I feel valueless, inside and out. I feel lonely, despite having more friends than many can say they have. But in the end I can really only call my mom or my ex if I'm having a bad day. It hurts to remember times where I was healthier and happier and had more friends. It hurts to be alone in my house singing to no one and making songs for no one but me. I used to be partnered but I got broken up with at the beginning of this year, moved to an apartment that is a hellhole, and now desperately trying to retain some form of social circle. I have always had hope despite bad thoughts telling me to give up, and I still have hope today. I just am so scared and lost. I feel like no one has a way of helping me because it is medical as well as emotional, but if you have any advice on how to handle Loneliness, depression, and self hating please let me know. Anything is appreciated. Thank you for reading and please be gentle with yourself, have a good day 💛

I have been told by my doctor that it’s not what’s causing it but I want to taper off of it just to see if anything will make a difference. Doesn’t mean I won’t go back on it, but has anyone else experienced anything? Hi, so I am on 900 mg of Trileptal once a day at night. I’ve been on it for about two years now. I heard the antipsychotics actually cause restless arms. I’ve been dealing with restless arms for 7 to 8 months. I came off of my anti-depressant. It was not that it continued, I have been told by my doctor that it’s not what’s causing it but I want to taper off of it just to see if anything will make a difference. Doesn’t mean I won’t go back on it, but has anyone else experienced anything?

My doctor recently prescribed me caplyta. I'm waiting on PA so I guess they have to wraggle with my medicaid provider to get it approved lol.
I have Bipolar 2 (currently advocating for a re-eval as bpd since my previous doctors were horrible and dismissive and just made me fill out a 6 question piece of paper and went "yep youre bipolar"), ADHD, autism, MDD, GAD, and PTSD. I've tried latuda, abilify, tegretol, seroquel, and trileptal before for my moods, but they were basically like taking a sugar pill. They did nothing and I felt nothing. Besides the seroquel, where I'd take half of a 25mg dose and still be "drunk" for 2 days..
She has me on dextroampthetamine for my adhd (which has been pretty good so far and i have minimal side effects), trazodone for sleep, and said the caplyta should also really help for the severe insomnia(I sleep 3-5 hours a night or less and skip sleep a lot), along with helping my moods and overall negative feelings. The trazodone is making my heart race but she said give it a week and it should get better, and at the appt she said caplyta side effects should also ease up after a week.
I'm mostly wanting to know your experiences on the med. What side effects you have (especially if we take the same meds), and has it been effective for helping manage your moods/depression? What should I avoid eating/taking/etc? I'm also on metformin for my PCOS related insulin resistance.
I've never even heard of this medication before. I looked through the subreddit to get some answers but a lot of them are old posts so I figured I'd make a new one to ask.
As a footnote on the first night of trazodone I got 6.7 hours of sleep and only woke up twice throughout the night which is a huge improvement lol

I feel like when I take it twice a day like prescribed I literally feel no change. I don’t get that “high or rush” like others. Unsure why my body isn’t responding well to this drug. I’ve literally tried all of the atypical anti depressants and had high hopes :( I’m wondering if any of the other meds I’m on, are counteracting with it possibly or if I’m doing something else wrong? Idk how to explain what I even feel like lately, but the depression definitely isn’t gone and sometimes I feel like I’m outside of my body looking in, plus nothing brings me joy or pleasure. I’ve been performing extra terribly at my job too and just always feel super lazy and like all I want to do is eat cake and sleep. Plus I feel like it’s doing something where it makes my adderall not work at all and it’s freaking me out because that was the only thing that made me productive at work… I am currently taking: 1) Auvelity twice a day 2) 900 mg of trileptal 3) 2 Benadryl’s at night 4) Zyrtec 5) prednisone/inhalers when needed for asthma 6) singular 7) klonopin daily 8) adderall 20mg xr and 20 mg ir 9) 21.5 mg of Caplyta, which I started a few weeks ago

So I started Latuda last night. I woke up so emotionally blunted but slightly energetic, which is unusual for me.
I know this might be placebo, but I also know antipsychotics can also have an effect the first day pretty much. I'm currently taking it for depression and PTSD hallucinations/paranoia, as well as Bipolar2. I take 10mg Prozac and 300mg Trileptal.
It's nice to not have like, 15 emotions attack me all at once, but also it's truly my first time taking an antipsychotic, so I'm going by ear. Anything I should know? I know to take with 350mg of food for absorption.

So I have BP2 I believe. I have never taken an antipsychotic for my bipolar disorder, but we realized I'm very sensitive to anti-depressants. I'm currently on Trileptal and Prozac, but added 20mg Latuda (lorasidone) to my regimen, and just started it tonight.
What should I expect? I also have CPTSD, panic disorder, tourrettes, and OCD.

I started on Oxcarbazepine/Trileptal in February at 4x150mg per day for Temporal Lobe Epilepsy. I’ve never had a grand mal but my seizures now occur about once a month in a week long cluster event that is extremely disorienting and miserable without medication. I’ve tried Keppra (did not handle the mood swings well especially with a history of depression) and Lamictal (had an adverse physical reaction that made me really sick and in the hospital).
Trileptal has been the best by far but the fatigue is SO much for me. At the full 4 a day I was sleeping 10hrs and napping in the afternoon. I went down to two, had seizures a couple weeks later and am now at 3 a day. I don’t have naps on this dose but I am self-employed and starting up a business and I am just so frustrated with only having energy helped with lots of caffeine until 4-5pm and then being done for the day.
So - has anyone experienced the drowsiness leaving after almost 4months?
I’m almost back to considering Keto (which did take away my seizures). I have an epileptic specialist currently who had a patient get rid of their seizures completely by being on Keto for a full year.

I have been on this forum for a couple of years and just commenting. But I thought it might be helpful to share how I became pain-free - the meds, pain management procedures I found most helpful, the surgeries I did, the kind of doctors I saw, and the neurosurgeon I saw.
Unfortunately, it seems you have to go through/fail other body systems - ENT, Dental, etc - for insurance and doctors to establish that you have TN. Then you have to fail noninvasive treatments for TN - medications (seizure meds), nerve blocks, etc - for insurance and doctors to refer you to neurosurgery. Once you do several procedures can help eliminate/greatly reduce the pain. But you have to find a neurosurgeon who is not a square. This is all doable when you know the system and have support.
Quick Summary: 28F, TN2 from 2014 - 2020, Nerve pain-free since 2020
Initial Pain
The pain started at 19. It felt like thumbs were digging into my temples. Constant. As soon as I woke up till I fell asleep.
Navigating a Diagnosis
ENT) I first went to ENT since I felt a pressure pain sensation. I had 3 ENT surgeries - deviated septum, turbinate reduction, and sinus surgery. Although all of these might of been necessary surgeries none of these helped reduce the constant pain I had. ENT was ruled out.
NEURO) Went to neurology and was prescribed an anti-seizure medication. The following meds were ruled out because could not tolerate the side effects of the following meds or they did not touch my pain - Keppra, Tegretol, Trileptal, Gapentin, Lyrica. I found the most relief with Topomax. I would not say my pain disappeared with this medication, rather it dulled the intensity. This was helpful. Although my pain was regarded as a migraine or NDPH - A new daily persistent headache - I still needed topomax to somewhat function. Neuro is a must.
DENTAL) after one neurosurgery team told me I didn't have TN they diagnosed me with TMJ... bless their hearts.
PAIN MANAGEMENT)
lidocaine occipital injections = never worked on me
occipital nerve block = worked for a while then stopped
Botox for migraines = worked and they can do the occipital region, the neck, TMJ
sphenopalatine ganglion (SPG) block = worked super well -(but they can do it x-ray guided or non x-ray guided w/cotton swabs... don't do the cotton swabs doesn't work as accurately)
Marinol, a synthetic cannabinoids used to treat neuropathic chronic pain = worked very well. Gave me relief. And I could take 5mg or 10mg for bad pain. I felt safer knowing it was doctor-prescribed. And I think it establishes that you do have neuropathic pain. And my insurance did cover it.
Lidocaine patches = worked well when my pain changed. I would put them on my face. Doctor prescribed.
Kind of doctor you should find for this = board-certified physical medicine and rehabilitation (PM&R) physician with board-certified sub-specialization in pain medicine
Pain Change
Around 2018 my pain evolved. I began having facial sensations - wind, makeup, smiling hurting my face. And I could no longer manage my pain anymore. The meds and pain management procedures stopped working (quality and quantity) and I was becoming non-functional. This is when we started looking toward surgery
SURGERY
I saw Dr. Michael Lim, Chair of the Department of Neurosurgery at Stanford Medicine known around the world for his expertise in the care of people with trigeminal neuralgia.
https://med.stanford.edu/profiles/238246
He did two Microvascular Decompressions and a Rhizotomy on the left side a year later. My images did not show signs of compression. But Dr. Lim said he would still do the surgery because he found that even combing the trigeminal nerve helped patients with their pain. But once he was in my brain he saw the compressed nerve. So if your images are negative that isn't the be-all end-all.
Conclusion
I feel like it seems I am put together by this post. But I was a mess during this time. I was depressed and so angry. And that part of TN or chronic illness isn't talked about enough. Heck, it isn't researched enough to even be talked about. But It is really hard. And it is hard to trust doctors who have no idea what this pain feels like. What this pain takes away. I hope this information helps. Because there is light at the end of this horrific tunnel. I promise.

Short version:
First what was experience with going off?
Did you need to introduce another medication as you were reducing lamictal?
If you did, what options to second gen antipsychotics worked well (fewest side effects possible being a big driver for trying them out). So abilify, seroquel, depakote, risperdal and latuda are OUT for me. I am interested esp if anyone has had success with Trileptal and Topamax
Long version if you want to read.
I have been on Lamictal for decades (I am 61)and while it has been great for moods (I have drug resistant depression or bipolar depending on the doctor) it is causing more and more confusion to the point where i am getting checked for Alzheimer's, my husband is also concerned with how bad it has gotten lately. I was def forgetting more from the time I started Lamictal, but now it's just not acceptable to function.
My aunt reminded me that my uncle (blood relative) had what looked like dementia after a while so I am planning two months to reduce (I'm was on 300, now on 225)
I am not really convinced my osteopath/psychiatric practitioner is really going to know as much as you guys (in fact he suggested buspar was the culprit which seemed bizarre). Yes it would be great to find a psychiatric practitioner with different training my insurance sucks and at least he is pleasant and tries.
I will have another appt with him this week for the weaning off but i am aware that my mood may drop and i will need to get on something else before I am completely done. I want ideas to suggest to him since i am not sure this is in his wheelhouse.
My father had a HORRIFIC experience with abilify and that is why i want to stay away from the second gen antipsychotics. From my research (anecdotal and other) two other mood stabilizers that may work are Trileptal and Topamax.
Thanks for all responses

Hello I’m wondering if anyone that has had a similar experience while taking this medication may answer this question
I’ve been on pristiq generic version “ Desvenlafaxine succinate “
for a little over a year
From March of 2023 - present day
For 10 months everything was perfect I thought I had finally found the right medication for me after 23 failed attempts in search of the right med/ med combo in the past 3 years
I stumbled across pristiq It was amazing at first for 10 months I was really starting to feel like myself again significantly helping with OCD, anxiety & panic, as well as lifting my depression I finally felt I was myself again. After years I was able to work , drive and basically be a normal human again after 23 medication’s I felt like Pristiq really made me feel like my true self. It was the perfect match for me. I had regained my humanity.
I was on 125 mg for those ten months
However in early January I started to get these horrible headaches followed by confusion this severe disorientation panic attacks cramping in my muscles weakness in my legs, and overall just a sense of unwellness & not being able to function. These episodes tend to affect my cognitive abilities when these episodes happen it’s really hard to focus function and even hard to think clearly I feel genuinely out of it and it’s scary. I also feel dumber when this happens it’s really hard to process thought & think, in short terms my cognitive abilities significantly decline
In January I ended up in the emergency room the emergency room at first thought it was my mood stabilizer lamotrigine generic
So they advised me to completely get off of it and stop it cold turkey and I ended up in an IOP program however, during my treatment there, it’s started to happen again the doctor didn’t really take notice even after I heated it multiple times so I decided to drop it down myself to 100 mg everything was going OK I will still be able to function and drive a bit. However, it started to happen again, then again, addressed my problem with the provider again he ignored it and he added another mood stabilizer called Trileptal my mood or stabilized, but I still kept feeling the same way every week or every two weeks. This occurs I again address this with my provider again did not listen. And I ended up dropping it down to 75 mg. Everything was OK until again it happened. I had informed him again about the situation and he added Norpramin( Desipramine ) at 25 mg The headaches went away a bit, but they were still there dispramine kind of helped counteract the headaches, but I still felt foggy and still felt a little out of it, however my mood stabilizer was at the lowest dose, and then I started to experience, hypomania and aggression with the Desipramine I also started to become more emotional and cry over the most insignificant things movies with tear me up words songs I again went to my provider to report this. He ignored it and told me to continue taking the medication. I did so for three weeks so now I had two problems. The first was being that Pristiq was giving me headaches and making me feel confused and disoriented, and the second was that the super mean was making me emotional and irritated
I decided to drop my Pristiq down 25 mg so now I was on 50 mg of Pristiq, 25 mg of despiramine again, I had told my provider he had not listen and said to continue taking the medication I took new medication for two weeks (despiramine ) It started to make me even more aggressive. I was wondering if he would be able to bump up my mood stabilizer, but I did not want to do that because I was still experiencing the side effects from both medication’s and thought it could make it worse I informed him again he again did not listen, he got to the point where the superman was making me very agitated and very hostile and aggressive. I stop the medication by myself cold turkey I again informed him that I was still experiencing the headaches he did not listen big surprise and now. I’m being discharged from the program. I don’t even have a refill on my meds. I’ve called different providers they provided but they’re all booked the closest appointment is nine months out
So I was only taking 50 mg of Pristiq and the lowest dosing of Trileptal twice a day. The headaches came back the disorientation and the confusion it was very severe this time it was lasting five days I was suspecting it was low sodium levels, and the Trileptal just made it worse. I started to stock up on Gatorade and liquid IV solutions. It really helped, but the headaches were still there, and the disorientation was still there just not as severe, however, after five days of dealing with the side effects, I could not take it anymore and last night I ended up in the emergency r to the emergency room.
However, due to all the liquid IVs I’ve taken I’ve taken two yesterday and two Gatorade’s. My sodium levels came back normal, so I don’t know if it is the sodium levels or not however, at the emergency room, they did put sodium chloride through an IV in my vein I have no idea no clue why I get these headaches and all the symptoms I experience I really don’t want to stop Pristiq because it’s been the only one that has worked for me, but I cannot continue to take this either because it is really distressing and I don’t want to end up having a seizure. These headaches are severe the confusion is severe. I do not feel OK anymore however, it is controlling my OCD symptoms as well as anxiety, depression and panic. I don’t know what to do. I found out I do better with that SNRIS but I’ve already tried
Effexor Cymbalta.
And now Pristiq, I did good on Effexor, but it has too many side effects, including headaches, a little bit of disorientation and erectile dysfunction
I did amazing on Cymbalta however, it did not fully control my OCD symptoms, and I had headaches as well, although not as severe as I have them on Pristiq
I want to give Fetzima (2013 ) a chance however, I am afraid of the hair loss that comes with it. I do terrible on SSRIs. All they do is make me gain weight and put me in a state of constant hypomania, as well as stomach problems and diarrhea that doesn’t go away as well as nausea
I’m thinking of going back to Cymbalta however the headaches are horrible and I don’t know why I get them either although on Cymbalta, I was never on a mood stabilizer since they didn’t know I was bipolar type two until the 19th medication that I had tried which was Zoloft and Zoloft sent me Into a spiraling constant hypo manic state and did nothing for my intrusive thoughts as well as constantly give me diarrhea and stomach problems and lots of hyper sexuality
And I’ve already tried Anafranil also known as Clomipramine I am not willing to go on that garbage again all it did was make me gain weight, depressed, and sleep all day, and it didn’t do nothing for OCD
Buspar was terrible All it did was give me headaches and then it made me feel as if my nervous system was on fire it was burning I will never go on that garbage again it was the worst mad I’ve had ever tried. I literally jumped in the shower during the winter time to shower myself with cold water, because my body felt as if it was burning. It was a constant burning sensation in my brain. Horrible med should be really taken off the market.
Prozac made me violent. Luvox made me paranoid
Trintellix made me paranoid and felt like I was losing my mind.
Paxil made me eat everything in the pantry as well as fast food
Gabapentin made me go into crying spells. Amazing for anxiety though , my emotions would fluctuate significantly, and I was very emotional on this
Seroquel que would knock me out for two days straight I plopped my head at a restaurant on my food, and I was unconscious as they were drawing blood for me not because of the blood draw but because of the medication it just tends to knock me out
Abilify messed up my cognitive abilities. I was pressing on the gas pedal instead of the break. Very confused all the time dazed didn’t know what was going on like a zombie again terrible medication.
Lexapro just gives me Thirst and does nothing for me
Atarax I had to pop sixth of those bad boys just even feel anything. My anxiety was terrible. Even after after six.
Wellbutrin makes me hypo manic amazing for sex, though I could keep an erection on for hours Social phobia also goes away again not recommend it unless you’re on a mood stabilizer if you’re bipolar 2
Lamotrigine made me sleepy, however, was great for mood, and it also numbed out my emotions. I was not reacting to things as much sometimes at all I was very emotionally blunt but for bipolar to maybe that’s a good thing I’m not sure there’s still stuff to
Question there
I do better on SNRI or anything that has similar properties such as despiramine However, I would like to avoid it for now leave it as a last option. I want something similar to these things. If you have any recommendations, I’m still thinking about the Fetzima
Or maybe actually try brand-name Pristiq or khedelza I don’t know. I really don’t know what to do I feel lost. I don’t want to stop taking this but I have to because of all the side effects unless it’s the generic version causing all these side effects. I’m still not sure my provider is honestly not the best and not providing the best quality of care I just want to be OK.
In short summary, this is everything I’ve tried that I can remember Prozac Effexor, Wellbutrin, BuSpar, Paxil, Cymbalta, gabapentin twice ,Zoloft, Seroquel, Abilify, Trintellix, three different generic versions of Cymbalta, Luvox, lamotrigine Anafranil, Norpramin, Ativan ,Atarax ,Trileptal, Pristiq Lexapro, I’m sure I’m missing some but I can’t think on the top of my head if somebody can please help thank you sorry for the trauma dump lol

Hello I’m wondering if anyone that has had a similar experience while taking this medication may answer this question
I’ve been on pristiq generic version “ Desvenlafaxine succinate “
for a little over a year
From March of 2023 - present day
For 10 months everything was perfect I thought I had finally found the right medication for me after 23 failed attempts in search of the right med/ med combo in the past 3 years
I stumbled across pristiq It was amazing at first for 10 months I was really starting to feel like myself again significantly helping with OCD, anxiety & panic, as well as lifting my depression I finally felt I was myself again. After years I was able to work , drive and basically be a normal human again after 23 medication’s I felt like Pristiq really made me feel like my true self. It was the perfect match for me. I had regained my humanity.
I was on 125 mg for those ten months
However in early January I started to get these horrible headaches followed by confusion this severe disorientation panic attacks cramping in my muscles weakness in my legs, and overall just a sense of unwellness & not being able to function. These episodes tend to affect my cognitive abilities when these episodes happen it’s really hard to focus function and even hard to think clearly I feel genuinely out of it and it’s scary. I also feel dumber when this happens it’s really hard to process thought & think, in short terms my cognitive abilities significantly decline
In January I ended up in the emergency room the emergency room at first thought it was my mood stabilizer lamotrigine generic
So they advised me to completely get off of it and stop it cold turkey and I ended up in an IOP program however, during my treatment there, it’s started to happen again the doctor didn’t really take notice even after I heated it multiple times so I decided to drop it down myself to 100 mg everything was going OK I will still be able to function and drive a bit. However, it started to happen again, then again, addressed my problem with the provider again he ignored it and he added another mood stabilizer called Trileptal my mood or stabilized, but I still kept feeling the same way every week or every two weeks. This occurs I again address this with my provider again did not listen. And I ended up dropping it down to 75 mg. Everything was OK until again it happened. I had informed him again about the situation and he added Norpramin( Desipramine ) at 25 mg The headaches went away a bit, but they were still there dispramine kind of helped counteract the headaches, but I still felt foggy and still felt a little out of it, however my mood stabilizer was at the lowest dose, and then I started to experience, hypomania and aggression with the Desipramine I also started to become more emotional and cry over the most insignificant things movies with tear me up words songs I again went to my provider to report this. He ignored it and told me to continue taking the medication. I did so for three weeks so now I had two problems. The first was being that Pristiq was giving me headaches and making me feel confused and disoriented, and the second was that the super mean was making me emotional and irritated
I decided to drop my Pristiq down 25 mg so now I was on 50 mg of Pristiq, 25 mg of despiramine again, I had told my provider he had not listen and said to continue taking the medication I took new medication for two weeks (despiramine ) It started to make me even more aggressive. I was wondering if he would be able to bump up my mood stabilizer, but I did not want to do that because I was still experiencing the side effects from both medication’s and thought it could make it worse I informed him again he again did not listen, he got to the point where the superman was making me very agitated and very hostile and aggressive. I stop the medication by myself cold turkey I again informed him that I was still experiencing the headaches he did not listen big surprise and now. I’m being discharged from the program. I don’t even have a refill on my meds. I’ve called different providers they provided but they’re all booked the closest appointment is nine months out
So I was only taking 50 mg of Pristiq and the lowest dosing of Trileptal twice a day. The headaches came back the disorientation and the confusion it was very severe this time it was lasting five days I was suspecting it was low sodium levels, and the Trileptal just made it worse. I started to stock up on Gatorade and liquid IV solutions. It really helped, but the headaches were still there, and the disorientation was still there just not as severe, however, after five days of dealing with the side effects, I could not take it anymore and last night I ended up in the emergency r to the emergency room.
However, due to all the liquid IVs I’ve taken I’ve taken two yesterday and two Gatorade’s. My sodium levels came back normal, so I don’t know if it is the sodium levels or not however, at the emergency room, they did put sodium chloride through an IV in my vein I have no idea no clue why I get these headaches and all the symptoms I experience I really don’t want to stop Pristiq because it’s been the only one that has worked for me, but I cannot continue to take this either because it is really distressing and I don’t want to end up having a seizure. These headaches are severe the confusion is severe. I do not feel OK anymore however, it is controlling my OCD symptoms as well as anxiety, depression and panic. I don’t know what to do. I found out I do better with that SNRIS but I’ve already tried
Effexor Cymbalta.
And now Pristiq, I did good on Effexor, but it has too many side effects, including headaches, a little bit of disorientation and erectile dysfunction
I did amazing on Cymbalta however, it did not fully control my OCD symptoms, and I had headaches as well, although not as severe as I have them on Pristiq
I want to give Fetzima (2013 ) a chance however, I am afraid of the hair loss that comes with it. I do terrible on SSRIs. All they do is make me gain weight and put me in a state of constant hypomania, as well as stomach problems and diarrhea that doesn’t go away as well as nausea
I’m thinking of going back to Cymbalta however the headaches are horrible and I don’t know why I get them either although on Cymbalta, I was never on a mood stabilizer since they didn’t know I was bipolar type two until the 19th medication that I had tried which was Zoloft and Zoloft sent me Into a spiraling constant hypo manic state and did nothing for my intrusive thoughts as well as constantly give me diarrhea and stomach problems and lots of hyper sexuality
And I’ve already tried Anafranil also known as Clomipramine I am not willing to go on that garbage again all it did was make me gain weight, depressed, and sleep all day, and it didn’t do nothing for OCD
Buspar was terrible All it did was give me headaches and then it made me feel as if my nervous system was on fire it was burning I will never go on that garbage again it was the worst mad I’ve had ever tried. I literally jumped in the shower during the winter time to shower myself with cold water, because my body felt as if it was burning. It was a constant burning sensation in my brain. Horrible med should be really taken off the market.
Prozac made me violent. Luvox made me paranoid
Trintellix made me paranoid and felt like I was losing my mind.
Paxil made me eat everything in the pantry as well as fast food
Gabapentin made me go into crying spells. Amazing for anxiety though , my emotions would fluctuate significantly, and I was very emotional on this
Seroquel que would knock me out for two days straight I plopped my head at a restaurant on my food, and I was unconscious as they were drawing blood for me not because of the blood draw but because of the medication it just tends to knock me out
Abilify messed up my cognitive abilities. I was pressing on the gas pedal instead of the break. Very confused all the time dazed didn’t know what was going on like a zombie again terrible medication.
Lexapro just gives me Thirst and does nothing for me
Atarax I had to pop sixth of those bad boys just even feel anything. My anxiety was terrible. Even after after six.
Wellbutrin makes me hypo manic amazing for sex, though I could keep an erection on for hours Social phobia also goes away again not recommend it unless you’re on a mood stabilizer if you’re bipolar 2
Lamotrigine made me sleepy, however, was great for mood, and it also numbed out my emotions. I was not reacting to things as much sometimes at all I was very emotionally blunt but for bipolar to maybe that’s a good thing I’m not sure there’s still stuff to
Question there
I do better on SNRI or anything that has similar properties such as despiramine However, I would like to avoid it for now leave it as a last option. I want something similar to these things. If you have any recommendations, I’m still thinking about the Fetzima
Or maybe actually try brand-name Pristiq or khedelza I don’t know. I really don’t know what to do I feel lost. I don’t want to stop taking this but I have to because of all the side effects unless it’s the generic version causing all these side effects. I’m still not sure my provider is honestly not the best and not providing the best quality of care I just want to be OK.
In short summary, this is everything I’ve tried that I can remember Prozac Effexor, Wellbutrin, BuSpar, Paxil, Cymbalta, gabapentin twice ,Zoloft, Seroquel, Abilify, Trintellix, three different generic versions of Cymbalta, Luvox, lamotrigine Anafranil, Norpramin, Ativan ,Atarax ,Trileptal, Pristiq Lexapro, I’m sure I’m missing some but I can’t think on the top of my head if somebody can please help thank you sorry for the trauma dump lol

Hello I’m wondering if anyone that has had a similar experience while taking this medication may answer this question
I’ve been on pristiq generic version “ Desvenlafaxine succinate “
for a little over a year
From March of 2023 - present day
For 10 months everything was perfect I thought I had finally found the right medication for me after 23 failed attempts in search of the right med/ med combo in the past 3 years
I stumbled across pristiq It was amazing at first for 10 months I was really starting to feel like myself again significantly helping with OCD, anxiety & panic, as well as lifting my depression I finally felt I was myself again. After years I was able to work , drive and basically be a normal human again after 23 medication’s I felt like Pristiq really made me feel like my true self. It was the perfect match for me. I had regained my humanity.
I was on 125 mg for those ten months
However in early January I started to get these horrible headaches followed by confusion this severe disorientation panic attacks cramping in my muscles weakness in my legs, and overall just a sense of unwellness & not being able to function. These episodes tend to affect my cognitive abilities when these episodes happen it’s really hard to focus function and even hard to think clearly I feel genuinely out of it and it’s scary. I also feel dumber when this happens it’s really hard to process thought & think, in short terms my cognitive abilities significantly decline
In January I ended up in the emergency room the emergency room at first thought it was my mood stabilizer lamotrigine generic
So they advised me to completely get off of it and stop it cold turkey and I ended up in an IOP program however, during my treatment there, it’s started to happen again the doctor didn’t really take notice even after I heated it multiple times so I decided to drop it down myself to 100 mg everything was going OK I will still be able to function and drive a bit. However, it started to happen again, then again, addressed my problem with the provider again he ignored it and he added another mood stabilizer called Trileptal my mood or stabilized, but I still kept feeling the same way every week or every two weeks. This occurs I again address this with my provider again did not listen. And I ended up dropping it down to 75 mg. Everything was OK until again it happened. I had informed him again about the situation and he added Norpramin( Desipramine ) at 25 mg The headaches went away a bit, but they were still there dispramine kind of helped counteract the headaches, but I still felt foggy and still felt a little out of it, however my mood stabilizer was at the lowest dose, and then I started to experience, hypomania and aggression with the Desipramine I also started to become more emotional and cry over the most insignificant things movies with tear me up words songs I again went to my provider to report this. He ignored it and told me to continue taking the medication. I did so for three weeks so now I had two problems. The first was being that Pristiq was giving me headaches and making me feel confused and disoriented, and the second was that the super mean was making me emotional and irritated
I decided to drop my Pristiq down 25 mg so now I was on 50 mg of Pristiq, 25 mg of despiramine again, I had told my provider he had not listen and said to continue taking the medication I took new medication for two weeks (despiramine ) It started to make me even more aggressive. I was wondering if he would be able to bump up my mood stabilizer, but I did not want to do that because I was still experiencing the side effects from both medication’s and thought it could make it worse I informed him again he again did not listen, he got to the point where the superman was making me very agitated and very hostile and aggressive. I stop the medication by myself cold turkey I again informed him that I was still experiencing the headaches he did not listen big surprise and now. I’m being discharged from the program. I don’t even have a refill on my meds. I’ve called different providers they provided but they’re all booked the closest appointment is nine months out
So I was only taking 50 mg of Pristiq and the lowest dosing of Trileptal twice a day. The headaches came back the disorientation and the confusion it was very severe this time it was lasting five days I was suspecting it was low sodium levels, and the Trileptal just made it worse. I started to stock up on Gatorade and liquid IV solutions. It really helped, but the headaches were still there, and the disorientation was still there just not as severe, however, after five days of dealing with the side effects, I could not take it anymore and last night I ended up in the emergency r to the emergency room.
However, due to all the liquid IVs I’ve taken I’ve taken two yesterday and two Gatorade’s. My sodium levels came back normal, so I don’t know if it is the sodium levels or not however, at the emergency room, they did put sodium chloride through an IV in my vein I have no idea no clue why I get these headaches and all the symptoms I experience I really don’t want to stop Pristiq because it’s been the only one that has worked for me, but I cannot continue to take this either because it is really distressing and I don’t want to end up having a seizure. These headaches are severe the confusion is severe. I do not feel OK anymore however, it is controlling my OCD symptoms as well as anxiety, depression and panic. I don’t know what to do. I found out I do better with that SNRIS but I’ve already tried
Effexor Cymbalta.
And now Pristiq, I did good on Effexor, but it has too many side effects, including headaches, a little bit of disorientation and erectile dysfunction
I did amazing on Cymbalta however, it did not fully control my OCD symptoms, and I had headaches as well, although not as severe as I have them on Pristiq
I want to give Fetzima (2013 ) a chance however, I am afraid of the hair loss that comes with it. I do terrible on SSRIs. All they do is make me gain weight and put me in a state of constant hypomania, as well as stomach problems and diarrhea that doesn’t go away as well as nausea
I’m thinking of going back to Cymbalta however the headaches are horrible and I don’t know why I get them either although on Cymbalta, I was never on a mood stabilizer since they didn’t know I was bipolar type two until the 19th medication that I had tried which was Zoloft and Zoloft sent me Into a spiraling constant hypo manic state and did nothing for my intrusive thoughts as well as constantly give me diarrhea and stomach problems and lots of hyper sexuality
And I’ve already tried Anafranil also known as Clomipramine I am not willing to go on that garbage again all it did was make me gain weight, depressed, and sleep all day, and it didn’t do nothing for OCD
Buspar was terrible All it did was give me headaches and then it made me feel as if my nervous system was on fire it was burning I will never go on that garbage again it was the worst mad I’ve had ever tried. I literally jumped in the shower during the winter time to shower myself with cold water, because my body felt as if it was burning. It was a constant burning sensation in my brain. Horrible med should be really taken off the market.
Prozac made me violent. Luvox made me paranoid
Trintellix made me paranoid and felt like I was losing my mind.
Paxil made me eat everything in the pantry as well as fast food
Gabapentin made me go into crying spells. Amazing for anxiety though , my emotions would fluctuate significantly, and I was very emotional on this
Seroquel que would knock me out for two days straight I plopped my head at a restaurant on my food, and I was unconscious as they were drawing blood for me not because of the blood draw but because of the medication it just tends to knock me out
Abilify messed up my cognitive abilities. I was pressing on the gas pedal instead of the break. Very confused all the time dazed didn’t know what was going on like a zombie again terrible medication.
Lexapro just gives me Thirst and does nothing for me
Atarax I had to pop sixth of those bad boys just even feel anything. My anxiety was terrible. Even after after six.
Wellbutrin makes me hypo manic amazing for sex, though I could keep an erection on for hours Social phobia also goes away again not recommend it unless you’re on a mood stabilizer if you’re bipolar 2
Lamotrigine made me sleepy, however, was great for mood, and it also numbed out my emotions. I was not reacting to things as much sometimes at all I was very emotionally blunt but for bipolar to maybe that’s a good thing I’m not sure there’s still stuff to
Question there
I do better on SNRI or anything that has similar properties such as despiramine However, I would like to avoid it for now leave it as a last option. I want something similar to these things. If you have any recommendations, I’m still thinking about the Fetzima
Or maybe actually try brand-name Pristiq or khedelza I don’t know. I really don’t know what to do I feel lost. I don’t want to stop taking this but I have to because of all the side effects unless it’s the generic version causing all these side effects. I’m still not sure my provider is honestly not the best and not providing the best quality of care I just want to be OK.
In short summary, this is everything I’ve tried that I can remember Prozac Effexor, Wellbutrin, BuSpar, Paxil, Cymbalta, gabapentin twice ,Zoloft, Seroquel, Abilify, Trintellix, three different generic versions of Cymbalta, Luvox, lamotrigine Anafranil, Norpramin, Ativan ,Atarax ,Trileptal, Pristiq Lexapro, I’m sure I’m missing some but I can’t think on the top of my head if somebody can please help thank you sorry for the trauma dump lol

Hello I’m wondering if anyone that has had a similar experience while taking this medication may answer this question
I’ve been on pristiq generic version “ Desvenlafaxine succinate “
for a little over a year
From March of 2023 - present day
For 10 months everything was perfect I thought I had finally found the right medication for me after 23 failed attempts in search of the right med/ med combo in the past 3 years
I stumbled across pristiq It was amazing at first for 10 months I was really starting to feel like myself again significantly helping with OCD, anxiety & panic, as well as lifting my depression I finally felt I was myself again. After years I was able to work , drive and basically be a normal human again after 23 medication’s I felt like Pristiq really made me feel like my true self. It was the perfect match for me. I had regained my humanity.
I was on 125 mg for those ten months
However in early January I started to get these horrible headaches followed by confusion this severe disorientation panic attacks cramping in my muscles weakness in my legs, and overall just a sense of unwellness & not being able to function. These episodes tend to affect my cognitive abilities when these episodes happen it’s really hard to focus function and even hard to think clearly I feel genuinely out of it and it’s scary. I also feel dumber when this happens it’s really hard to process thought & think, in short terms my cognitive abilities significantly decline
In January I ended up in the emergency room the emergency room at first thought it was my mood stabilizer lamotrigine generic
So they advised me to completely get off of it and stop it cold turkey and I ended up in an IOP program however, during my treatment there, it’s started to happen again the doctor didn’t really take notice even after I heated it multiple times so I decided to drop it down myself to 100 mg everything was going OK I will still be able to function and drive a bit. However, it started to happen again, then again, addressed my problem with the provider again he ignored it and he added another mood stabilizer called Trileptal my mood or stabilized, but I still kept feeling the same way every week or every two weeks. This occurs I again address this with my provider again did not listen. And I ended up dropping it down to 75 mg. Everything was OK until again it happened. I had informed him again about the situation and he added Norpramin( Desipramine ) at 25 mg The headaches went away a bit, but they were still there dispramine kind of helped counteract the headaches, but I still felt foggy and still felt a little out of it, however my mood stabilizer was at the lowest dose, and then I started to experience, hypomania and aggression with the Desipramine I also started to become more emotional and cry over the most insignificant things movies with tear me up words songs I again went to my provider to report this. He ignored it and told me to continue taking the medication. I did so for three weeks so now I had two problems. The first was being that Pristiq was giving me headaches and making me feel confused and disoriented, and the second was that the super mean was making me emotional and irritated
I decided to drop my Pristiq down 25 mg so now I was on 50 mg of Pristiq, 25 mg of despiramine again, I had told my provider he had not listen and said to continue taking the medication I took new medication for two weeks (despiramine ) It started to make me even more aggressive. I was wondering if he would be able to bump up my mood stabilizer, but I did not want to do that because I was still experiencing the side effects from both medication’s and thought it could make it worse I informed him again he again did not listen, he got to the point where the superman was making me very agitated and very hostile and aggressive. I stop the medication by myself cold turkey I again informed him that I was still experiencing the headaches he did not listen big surprise and now. I’m being discharged from the program. I don’t even have a refill on my meds. I’ve called different providers they provided but they’re all booked the closest appointment is nine months out
So I was only taking 50 mg of Pristiq and the lowest dosing of Trileptal twice a day. The headaches came back the disorientation and the confusion it was very severe this time it was lasting five days I was suspecting it was low sodium levels, and the Trileptal just made it worse. I started to stock up on Gatorade and liquid IV solutions. It really helped, but the headaches were still there, and the disorientation was still there just not as severe, however, after five days of dealing with the side effects, I could not take it anymore and last night I ended up in the emergency r to the emergency room.
However, due to all the liquid IVs I’ve taken I’ve taken two yesterday and two Gatorade’s. My sodium levels came back normal, so I don’t know if it is the sodium levels or not however, at the emergency room, they did put sodium chloride through an IV in my vein I have no idea no clue why I get these headaches and all the symptoms I experience I really don’t want to stop Pristiq because it’s been the only one that has worked for me, but I cannot continue to take this either because it is really distressing and I don’t want to end up having a seizure. These headaches are severe the confusion is severe. I do not feel OK anymore however, it is controlling my OCD symptoms as well as anxiety, depression and panic. I don’t know what to do. I found out I do better with that SNRIS but I’ve already tried
Effexor Cymbalta.
And now Pristiq, I did good on Effexor, but it has too many side effects, including headaches, a little bit of disorientation and erectile dysfunction
I did amazing on Cymbalta however, it did not fully control my OCD symptoms, and I had headaches as well, although not as severe as I have them on Pristiq
I want to give Fetzima (2013 ) a chance however, I am afraid of the hair loss that comes with it. I do terrible on SSRIs. All they do is make me gain weight and put me in a state of constant hypomania, as well as stomach problems and diarrhea that doesn’t go away as well as nausea
I’m thinking of going back to Cymbalta however the headaches are horrible and I don’t know why I get them either although on Cymbalta, I was never on a mood stabilizer since they didn’t know I was bipolar type two until the 19th medication that I had tried which was Zoloft and Zoloft sent me Into a spiraling constant hypo manic state and did nothing for my intrusive thoughts as well as constantly give me diarrhea and stomach problems and lots of hyper sexuality
And I’ve already tried Anafranil also known as Clomipramine I am not willing to go on that garbage again all it did was make me gain weight, depressed, and sleep all day, and it didn’t do nothing for OCD
Buspar was terrible All it did was give me headaches and then it made me feel as if my nervous system was on fire it was burning I will never go on that garbage again it was the worst mad I’ve had ever tried. I literally jumped in the shower during the winter time to shower myself with cold water, because my body felt as if it was burning. It was a constant burning sensation in my brain. Horrible med should be really taken off the market.
Prozac made me violent. Luvox made me paranoid
Trintellix made me paranoid and felt like I was losing my mind.
Paxil made me eat everything in the pantry as well as fast food
Gabapentin made me go into crying spells. Amazing for anxiety though , my emotions would fluctuate significantly, and I was very emotional on this
Seroquel que would knock me out for two days straight I plopped my head at a restaurant on my food, and I was unconscious as they were drawing blood for me not because of the blood draw but because of the medication it just tends to knock me out
Abilify messed up my cognitive abilities. I was pressing on the gas pedal instead of the break. Very confused all the time dazed didn’t know what was going on like a zombie again terrible medication.
Lexapro just gives me Thirst and does nothing for me
Atarax I had to pop sixth of those bad boys just even feel anything. My anxiety was terrible. Even after after six.
Wellbutrin makes me hypo manic amazing for sex, though I could keep an erection on for hours Social phobia also goes away again not recommend it unless you’re on a mood stabilizer if you’re bipolar 2
Lamotrigine made me sleepy, however, was great for mood, and it also numbed out my emotions. I was not reacting to things as much sometimes at all I was very emotionally blunt but for bipolar to maybe that’s a good thing I’m not sure there’s still stuff to
Question there
I do better on SNRI or anything that has similar properties such as despiramine However, I would like to avoid it for now leave it as a last option. I want something similar to these things. If you have any recommendations, I’m still thinking about the Fetzima
Or maybe actually try brand-name Pristiq or khedelza I don’t know. I really don’t know what to do I feel lost. I don’t want to stop taking this but I have to because of all the side effects unless it’s the generic version causing all these side effects. I’m still not sure my provider is honestly not the best and not providing the best quality of care I just want to be OK.
In short summary, this is everything I’ve tried that I can remember Prozac Effexor, Wellbutrin, BuSpar, Paxil, Cymbalta, gabapentin twice ,Zoloft, Seroquel, Abilify, Trintellix, three different generic versions of Cymbalta, Luvox, lamotrigine Anafranil, Norpramin, Ativan ,Atarax ,Trileptal, Pristiq Lexapro, I’m sure I’m missing some but I can’t think on the top of my head if somebody can please help thank you sorry for the trauma dump lol

I’ve been on Auvelity for about a month now. I have been following the 8 hour rule, and noticed if I miss my second dose, even by an hour or two, I get a migraine. I also don’t feel like it’s really helping at all with my depression, I get no feeling of any kind once I take it. I am also on 37.5 mg of Effexor and I’m not sure if it’s making the Auvelity less effective or not, but was told by my current doctor to continue to take both. Did it take longer for anyone else to feel a difference? I was really hopeful that this drug would help my MDD, I have basically exhausted all my options at this point, the typical ssri’s don’t work for me and have given me terrible side effects in the past so I can only use the a-typical ones: i’ve been on trintellix which worked great for 3 years then stopped working, viibryd which gave me brain zaps, and then vraylar in addition to my trintellix which caused me to have a manic episode, and Effexor. I would love to try spravato, but unfortunately my insurance won’t cover it and with my current work schedule it’s nearly impossible unless I took a FMLA. My current cocktail of medicine is kind’ve extreme as well, which maybe could be the problem: Auvelity, Effexor, trileptal, klonopin, and adderall(only when I’m at work, which is half of the year).