For those of you who don't live in the US, the typical driving etiquette on highways is generally to drive in the right lane when driving the speed limit (or to match traffic), and to drive in the left lane when accelerating and passing cars.
So OOP makes a PSA thread in Ohio to address driving grievances they've noticed while living in Ohio:

It’s been 15 years since I moved to Ohio and I’ve held my tongue long enough. Far too many of you need to hear this.
THE LEFT LANE IS FOR PASSING!! THE LEFT LANE IS FOR PASSING!! THE LEFT MF LANE IS FOR MF PASSING.
God damn. I have never driven in a state with more left lane campers !it’s unreal how many are oblivious to this.
If you are not consistently passing someone on the right of you. Move out of the left lane
If someone is on ur ass you aren’t driving fast enough. Move out of the left lane.
It doesn’t matter if you are driving the speed limit move out of the left lane.
It’s not hard. And if everyone abides by this principle it actually increases the flow of traffic and saves everybody time.
Check your mirrors regularly and Move the fuck over.
You now have the tools to not be that dumb asshole holding everyone up.
Thanks in advance.

Although the OOP is rather succinct, Ohioians have plenty to say. Commenters will be abbreviated as C1, C2, C3, etc.

C1: All I’m saying is it’s not worth getting that angry about it. I don’t camp out in the high speed lane. You don’t have to do 90 all the time on the highway. Just calm down and enjoy the ride. There is no reason to be an ass. You’ll get to your destination just fine and in a better mood if you just give up that fight. C2: Nah people have places to be and they don't shouldn't have to deal with grandma who doesn't care about anyone else's time but her own, get out of the way and let people who are going faster than you pass you C1: Leave earlier then, allow yourself time to deal with every day frustrations. C2: You must be the grandma who can't understand that not everyone has the same time she does C1: Tell yourself whatever you need to so you can feel better about yourself. C2: People have places to be granny C3: Eat a dick, and while you're doing that, move the fuck out of the way. You have no right to impede others travels.

This redditor gets peeved when people ride his ass:

C1: My only issue with this (because I agree) is that if I am passing someone slower than the person riding my ass would prefer I will take issue with them riding my ass and then go out of my way to not accommodate their desires. Stay back and I will move over once I have passed. Ride my ass and you will be stuck for much longer than you like. C2: If there is someone riding your ass and you're in the passing lane, you're the asshole, not them. It shouldn't take long to pass a car and move out of the lane. C1: Nope. If I'm going 70 and passing someone and someone comes up on my ass going 90 they are going to have to wait until I finish passing. If they wait without riding my ass, no problem. If they do not, they can get stuffed. C2: So creating a dangerous situation for other drivers on the highway is OK when you feel the pathetically petty need to try to get back at another driver because they got a little too close to you?
Again, it shouldn't take long to pass someone, and you should be watching your rear view mirrors for faster moving traffic before you even get into the passing lane. If you can't get out of the lane before another car is on your ass, again, you're the one in the wrong. People who suck at driving are the ones who make your argument. C1: Nah, I just can’t stand tailgaters so I’m not going to reward their aggressive behavior. Give me 10 seconds to pass and stay off my ass. You aren’t entitled to never hit your brakes C2: Then you're a shitty driver for two reasons (at least, there are probably more)
1.) You can't conceptionally understand the concept that you are the one creating the situation causing the tailgating. If you're not in the passing lane and someone is tailgating you, then you have reason to be upset. But if you're in the passing lane you're the one in the wrong spot.
2.) You take things that happen on the highway personally. Just get the fuck out of the way and go on with your day. Trying to get petty revenge moving at high rates of speed in vehicles weighing over a ton is just stupid. C1: Nah, tailgating is a choice, and it’s against the law. Slow down, let me pass the slower moving driver and safety get over into the right lane when I’ve completed passing. If I’m legally passing in the left lane, you have no business tailgating me. Slow down C3: Turn in your license. You’re a dog shit driver C4: Wait so the person who is passing someone at 70 mph and then getting over is creating the dangerous situation while the 90mph ass rider who can't wait the few seconds it takes for the slower car to pass someone is not? You have it backwards my friend.

This redditor explains their genius strategy of passing left lane slow drivers by taking the right lane:

C1: Don't get upset. Just get in the right lane and burn past everyone. Sometimes you will have to slow down because people only enter the highway at about 40 MPH, but they will get in the left lane in a few seconds, leaving the right lane clear for your cruising pleasure. C2: You joke, but this is exactly how the Ohio Turnpike is. Three lanes and the right lane is always empty. It has, by necessity, become the real passing lane.
And it never fails, merging on you'll be behind somebody who seems perfectly content that they got to the end of the ramp at 45 MPH while the one vehicle actually using the right lane -- always a semi -- is barreling down the road and approaching at 75+. So you either have to come to a complete stop at the end of the ramp to yield because the jackass going 45 will barely make it in front of the semi and you won't, or floor it at the last second and get into the middle lane ASAP.

Another redditor says you can't complain about driving etiquette if you're speeding:

C1: I'll add one, if you're egregiously speeding you don't get to complain about anyone else on the road. C2: Agree. If anyone flies up and tailgates me while I'm going 15 over, we're now going to go the speed limit until they back off. C3: Nice work Deputy. Thanks for keeping the roads safe by being roadblock to other drivers C2: No problem. I really hope you don't get in a horrific car accident because you decide to speed instead of leave earlier! C4: Ummm, yeah. So why are you going 15 miles over? Are you late for something? C2: If I'm passing someone in the left lane, as is being discussed in the original post, I try to keep moving a bit faster. Would you rather people go the speed limit in the left lane? Something tells me you'd complain about that too. C4: No, I’m solidly in the camp of following the Rules of the Road. Efficiency and predictability. Purposefully blocking traffic causes frustration, which causes people to do stupid things, which causes accidents. Swallow your pride and move over for any traffic faster than you no matter how fast you are going. C5 [to C3's roadblock comment]: You're being a danger to everyone. You can't complain when you're already being that stupid. C1: The danger wouldn't be there had the person not been egregiously speeding, ergo the blame falls on them. C6: You are exactly the reason drivers in this state have this reputation. Your poor decisions are yours and yours alone. Two wrongs don't make a right, and your attitude is part of the problem. C1: I'm not defending blocking traffic. Never once did I say that. Your inability to comprehend what you've read is the only problem here atm.

Yet another redditor declares the OOP's rant to be moot:

C1: You worry about stupid shit. OOP: Its been proven to reduce accidents and save time. Just because ur too stupid to understand that doesn’t make it stupid. C1: Find more important things to worry about. C2: Found the asshole who doesn't know how to drive🖕 C1: Found the dipshit with nothing better to do than whine about traffic. C2: Nothing better to do because I'm stuck behind a Sunday driver. Seriously though it's a hazard, stay out of the left lane!

OOP did comment on a few other things, but at some point, they edited the post with this:

Edit: Lots of hurt butts in the comments. If You are in anything but agreement with me then, well, ur dumb. But for the sake of civilize discussion and higher learning let’s let the dumb dumbs, and dummy dumb nincompoops answer for themselves. Please tell us why it’s ok for you to be able to camp your two brain cells in the left lane and make me late for my cats soccer game?
For those of you that think my anger is silly and unjustified, my friend just nearly had her life taken from her in an accident with someone trying to get around a lane camper that as backing up traffic.
Yes this exists everywhere but Ohio particularly bad. Am I wrong for wanting Ohio to suck a little less?

This thread is still getting new comments, so feel free to browse it for more speedy takes!

In a flash of inspiration I suggested a small AU idea on discord... And people encouraged me to cook and cook hard. So I did and here's the result. I will likely have this as a 'backburner' fic to Broken Birds, writing one when I have no energy for other, so this will be lower in priority, but I hope it's enjoyable for you anyway.
Thanks to SpacePaladin15 for great universe, characters and letting fanfiction flow, as well as JulianSkies for inspiring the name of the fic and several other discord members (you KNOW who you are) for encouraging my horribleness. Without further ado... Let's open the doors of this AU.
CW: Arxur Dietary Habits, Child Suffering, Dismemberment
Memory Transcription Subject: Stynek, Venlil Cattle
Date [standardized human time]: July 12, 2136
Fur surrounding my eyes hurt from layers upon layers of dried tears. I’ve cried so much over past months, with nobody to tell me it’s going to be okay. I missed mommy. I missed my teacher. I missed my friends. I was surrounded by strangers, some of different species, but mostly venlil. None of them cared when I cried. Most cried by themselves, and to themselves instead. Nobody wanted to really talk to me, except this one other venlil child I met. I don’t even remember the name he told me. But he did know something. That me and him wouldn’t be eaten for a while because we’re too young. Unless someone important wanted to eat us. That’s why adults are bitter at the children. We weren’t in the ‘breeding pen’, whatever that meant, but in the food pen. And until I was old enough to be ‘sufficiently edible’, I’d stay here. Adults knew that. They knew that when arxur came around and chose meals out of the crowd, they’d ignore the scrawny child, so they were bitter at my luck.
I wanted to cry again, but at this point, no tears were coming out. I wished I could talk to the boy, but we got separated when they moved me and a bunch of adults onto the ship. I overheard some adults mumbling about us being rations. That made me cry more when I realized what it meant. Did it mean I was lied to? That I really was old enough to be eaten after all? I regretted wanting to grow up sooner. I was always upset when mom told me I couldn’t do something. I had to listen both because she was my mom and because she was our Governor. Now I missed hearing her voice, even if it was just telling me that I must go to bed on time and stop snacking too much before second meal.
It’s been days since I was brought to the ship. Unlike the pens I’ve been in before, this one was slowly emptying. Before, new people always were thrown in to replace ones taken to be eaten. Every day a few people would be grabbed by the arxur and dragged out. Some screaming and pleading for mercy. Those just get ignored, as everyone, myself included, huddles together in far corner. Others would accept their fate and let themselves be taken. Those are even sadder. More people start crying after seeing someone who looks dead even while still breathing taken to be finished off.
I rubbed my temple where there was still a small wound. Every cattle taken to this ship had their implants removed. I couldn’t understand anything non-venlil were saying. Or arxur for that matter. Not that much was being said...
Suddenly every head was up and all ears were flicking. I slightly turned my head to see towards the entrance. An arxur, standing in doorway, slowly scanning the crowd with predatory glint. My sense of time was barely intact, but schedule was rigid, it was too early for feeding time today. So why are they here and why are they selecting a prey already?
Suddenly I realized that it was looking directly at me, its binocular gaze locking onto my eye. I couldn’t help my reaction, yelping and flinching away, trying to scuttle towards the corner. But it seems the arxur made its choice. As it stepped and started walking towards me, the crowd parted. It was almost like that experiment with anti-magnets my teacher showed once in class, except I was the one repelling everyone around me. I tried reaching out and crawling towards them, but they just furthered the distance. Nobody was willing to contest arxur’s chosen meal.
“Please... I don’t want to...”, I cried, but it fell on deaf ears. Then I felt it. A scaly hand of a monster wrapped around my ankle. I tried thrashing, but before I could, I was lifted upside down, hitting my head on cold hard floor in process. Ow... It hurt. My vision blurred, from both the hit dizzying me and the tears that were now filling my eyes. I was being taken out... To be devoured by predators... Daddy... Mommy... “Mommy... Mommy!”
I didn’t hear anything but my own cries and clacks of arxur claws against metal floor as I was taken out of the pen. Outside of pen always seemed like nicer place to be. It was better lit and cleaner from what little I could glimpse whenever door opened. Now I’d give anything just to go back to the dirty pen, huddled together with people who don’t care about me... I didn’t want to die! I wanted to go home! To my mom and dad... Why... Wasn’t I too young? Why did that boy lie to me?! I hated him!
I couldn’t even tell where I was being taken. I knew nothing about layout of the ship. It was cleaner, it was brighter. But also there were more arxur than singular one that kept coming into the pen to take people. Being carried upside down by the leg hurt and made it disorienting but even with that I couldn’t miss how every time I entered an arxur’s field of vision, their head sharply turning to stare directly at me right until we turned another corner. I realized that I was crying out loud by now, but of course predators knew no emotion, they ignored my anguish.
Then finally, it seems, we reached a destination. I was brought to a room with a big table. Table? It was ridiculous to think predators even use tables... But there were three sitting at it. One was an arxur, particularly large and imposing. But two others were... creatures I’ve never seen before. One glimpse was enough to tell me they were predators. And they were covered in clothing, more than I’ve seen anyone ever wear. Worst thing is though, they were clearly talking to the big arxur, with external translator on the table constantly translating arxur’s hisses into the other predator’s growling noises.
This is it. Arxur found another sapient predator. The worst monsters in the galaxy now found allies. Least I could comfort myself with was that mommy would be safe... But now I felt like it’s not just me that’s about to end, but whole universe.
The arxur that was carrying me smacked me down onto the table, a fair distance away from others. I kept crying and sobbing. I think some pleads for help and for my mom came out, but I couldn’t even make out my own words. I was so scared. I was ready for fangs to pierce into my neck. And yet I wasn’t, I wasn’t ready, please, anything by that. Both the big arxur and the new predators were staring me down in hunger as I felt the worst pain of my life. My leg, held firmly to the table, burned in agony... and then pain was all I knew there. I couldn’t feel anything below my knee other than pain. Pain... Pain! I cried out at the top of my lungs, but pain wasn’t getting better. My cry did not stop until my throat burnt, but that pain was like an itch compared to what my leg felt like.
With sight blurred, I saw it. The arxur that held me down dropped my own ankle down near the big one that seemed to be in charge, staining table with orange blood. Big arxur tore a chunk off, extending it towards other predators, but they seemed to just talk. Then big arxur stopped for a few moments, tossed the chunk into its horrid mouth, and motioned to one still holding me down.
Then, for a second time in last few minutes I experienced the most agonizing pain in my life, surpassing even the pain before at least tenfold. It burned! It hurt! My throat, already sore and barely able to make sounds got revived for just long enough to let out another cry before giving out again. I wanted to pass out as I was butchered alive, but it was just so painful that I couldn’t... I was forced to be aware of how the rest of the leg, from knee to hip, was brought towards the mystery predators, sliced in half and then... That explained why it hurt so much more. Why it still hurts even more. The blade that second chop was done with was red hot, and now used to burn away at the chunks presented to the predators. They recoiled from heat, as pieces of me were presented, but after a few moments of consideration, reached out and tore a few small pieces of orange legs off my dismembered calf, starting to chew. The one with long fur on their head, seemed to almost choke on the heat, while the one with dark coloration just stared at me intently, making eye contact that I could perceive even through pain and tears directly with me, hungrily chewing, no doubt wanting more than scrap it was given...
I couldn’t watch anymore I closed my eyes, beginning to whine and sniffle. I tried calling out for mom, but my mouth was suddenly clamped shut with a band, so I couldn’t even make any more noises. Pain made it hard to move at all, and with my leg chop being replaced with a burn, I wasn’t bleeding... so I couldn’t even get the release of death. Worse yet, predators were far from eager to finish me off. I was always told their bloodthirst was the only thing that defined them, but they just left me to suffer on the table as they kept talking in their horrible noises. Their sadism was much stronger than bloodlust, that’s the only explanation...
As I lay there, I eventually let my eyelids slide open. The new predators and arxur were engaged in some conversation, piece of leg in front of arxur in charge gone completely, and pieces in front of mystery predators visibly smaller. Arxur regularly typed some things, demonstrating some things on the screen. A bunch of warrior arxur banded together, a big star chart divided in weird ways, some weird colorless picture of countless dead prey animals, unfamiliar and likely non-sapient... And then a video. A venlil exterminator, fighting off a group of arxur. She managed to get two monsters burnt before getting overwhelmed, their mask torn off before their head is bitten off by one of the greys. The moment it happens, new predators both turn their eyes towards me instantly, opened wide with hunger. I flinched away again, tears managing to flow again. The arxur were horrible... They were about to sic those new predators on Venlil Prime, I knew it in my heart. They gave them taste of our flesh, and showed them how we might be dangerous... despite the fact that we were weakest and helpless. The new predators will make us into their cattle with ease and be empowered, before proceeding to move onto the rest of Federation...
There was movement. The predators and big arxur all stood up, then locked their hands in some contest of strength momentarily. The predator with long head fur pointed towards me, and then they all stared at me for a moment. Then the conversation moved on. The arxur holding me down grabbed me again, by my remaining leg and carried me off. I felt some blood drip down my fur with me being turned like that...
There was more walking, but it was even harder to pay attention in the haze that was covering my mind. I understood what the people that were taken without struggle felt now. I didn’t want to fight anymore. I just wanted it to be over... It hurts... It hurts so much...
I felt my arms moved, hands tied behind my back, and then I was handed over to the dark-colored mystery predator. It wasn’t as large as an arxur, but it could still lift me with ease, tossing me over the shoulder like I’m a sack of ipsom flour. A momentary look around showed that I was inside a smaller shuttle now, built very different from what the insides of larger ship was. I was... being taken elsewhere again. Why...?
Some more talking in the scary predator languages, and the door separating mystery predators and the arxur closed. Once that happened, there was instant rush. I found myself tossed into some white and cold room, still bound. I could hear the predators argue, that much loud yelling at one another could only be an argument. I felt the hum of ship starting up and vibration of launch. Then after a bit, I saw the long furred predator rush past me and towards something in the back of room, at which points it made noises so horrid, that I found myself crying again. I don’t know what it was doing back there, and I didn’t want to know. The dark colored one just kept looking over the burnt stump where my leg once was. And all throughout they kept growling and shouting at one another... I was going to be torn in half between the two, wasn’t I?
Instead I felt the binds on my arms and around my face cut. First thing, I opened my mouth and took a deep breath... Only to choke on air, as it was even cooler than I expected... White room, cool air, hungry predators looking over my bloodied bits and making horrid noises... I was about to be refrigerated to be kept for future. I was rations that arxur graciously gifted to these monsters. Why...? Why me?!
I tried crying, but my throat refused to make noise after earlier screaming tore it apart. Only low coughs escaped as tears completely filled my vision. There was more. More pain, a burst of it where my leg was supposed to be, then a small prick at my other leg... More memories, of my happy family and friends at school, replaced with grimy cattle pens and constant fear... More regrets at things I wanted to do and try, but never got to... But none of it mattered. I was already dead. Even if I was still breathing and moving, I was dead the moment a grey grabbed me and dragged me onto that cursed cattle ship of theirs... It just took me until now to truly comprehend it.
The last thing I thought of as pain dulled out, finally giving way to bliss of unconsciousness, was my mom’s soft wool and warm embrace, and how I never got to feel it properly for last time before dying... Mommy... I’m sorry...

It seems like she’s feeling insecure again. I keep my eyes shut tight, preparing myself for the song and dance I had been through so many times before. The weight of the bed shifts under me as she crawls under the blankets. A cold limb flops over my torso, wrapping me in a frigid embrace. I resist the urge to flinch as the moist, squishy mass of flesh presses into my forehead, a tickling droplet of fluid slides down my face and over my tightly pursed lips. Not daring to move, I waited patiently for the words I knew must come. Finally, after what seems like an eternity, a muffled teary voice sounds in a desperate tone:
“Do you...”
The voice falters, emitting several low-pitched, labored gurgles before continuing:
“Love me?”
Without hesitation I respond, as gently as could be managed:
“Of course I love you. But it’s time to go back to sleep now, okay?”
The gurgling continues, higher pitched now, like an excited baby. After a few moments the squishy mass detaches itself from my forehead, and the weight in the bed shifts. The gentle smacking of feet against hardwood floor, and a door quietly closing across the house resound in the otherwise silent room. Sitting up on the edge of the bed, I rock gently back and forth with my head in between my legs, resisting the tears that are fighting to escape. I allow a few moments of this pointless self-pity before forcing myself to stand up.
I walk down the hallway to the bathroom, not allowing my eyes to stray to the door to what used to be my room. A look in the mirror reveals that my forehead has already started breaking out in small orange pustules, along with a small streak of them where the fluid had dripped down my face. At least it didn't get in my mouth this time. That isn’t a panic I would like to revisit. I retrieve the small bottle of vinegar from the medicine cabinet and apply it to a cotton ball, beginning the tedious task of treating my face. A harsher acid would probably do a better job, but I prefer to avoid the stinging even if the pustules disappear more slowly. It’s not like I need to look handsome for anyone. It’s unlikely she can even really see me.
Once my skin is sufficiently covered in the stuff, I grab a bucket and mop, and clean the wet footprints from the hallway, and from the living room where my bed is located. Most of the wood flooring throughout the house is already somewhat corroded, but I’d prefer to keep my home intact to the extent that I am able. Although it’s up to anyone’s guess what manner of hellscape the bedroom must look like. I hadn’t been in that room in a long time. That was her domain now, and there was no reason for me to enter. No reason to take that risk.
I light the small gas cooktop in the kitchen and get to work making food for the day. Canned food is surprisingly appetizing when there’s nothing to do but eat. It would taste better with some seasoning, but there was no point in going through that much effort. This food serves one purpose, and that’s to keep us from starving. I slide one plate under the crack between the floor and the bedroom door and sit down in the living room with the other plate in hand.
The book on the coffee table catches my eye as it does every morning. Sighing, I pick up the ratty collection of pages and flip to a random one. One of the few books on the “Great Plague” as they call it, that was ever published, or at least, the only one I could ever find. Titled “The End” by Jared Kramer, It was more of a fanatical opinion piece than a proper informative book, but Kramer at least provided a bit of information on the virus, how the transformation works, and what methods could be used to, in his words, “Cure” the afflicted. A shotgun was noted as the best medicine, with gasoline and matches being a close second. Near the middle of the book, the portion that was coincidentally staring back at me from the pages, it turned into a near unintelligible ranting on the philosophy of consciousness. Apparently, Kramer had only just begun to consider whether blowing the afflicted’s brains out was a morally reasonable decision. He had never come across as a particularly intelligent guy in his writings, and my assumption was that he was simply the only person who wrote fast enough to get a book published before the plague became a worldwide epidemic. Towards the end of the book, Kramer does a 180 and states repeatedly that “Accepting the transformation is the only road to salvation”.
“Salvation... as if”
My words perish in the empty air, a death rattle of frustrated skepticism.
I had never quite understood what that actually meant. Salvation would be something like deliverance from harm, harm being the only thing that the plague brought to the world. The book thuds as I carelessly toss it back on the table. It's obvious that the author was in the process of transforming as he wrote the final passages, but they never ceased to bother me. Perhaps I'm just fixating on those words as a way of keeping my mind occupied.
There’s really no reason to focus on such pointless things.
--------------------
The following night my sleep was peaceful and uninterrupted. She usually shows up once a week, if not less frequently. After waking, the bathroom mirror reveals that the pustules ha subsided slightly, leaving my skin smooth, if not free of the noticeable blemishes. A subtle glint of light shines off of my head and my heart rate accelerates.
Surely not.
Surely it was a trick of the light.
I begin rifling through my matted hair furiously and there it is. A single, silver hair hanging in front of my forehead.
I guess this is it then.
She made sure I had sworn on everything under the sun. Her stupid goofy smile reflected in my memory.
“First grey hair and I’m outta here mister”
To think that a silly little joke between us had turned into this solemn responsibility. The steel of the revolver was cold in my palm. My eyes locked onto it, unsure of when it had made its way from the drawer of the coffee table into my hand, or for that matter, when I had entered the living room. The earth seemed to be rotating at impossible speeds. Everything was black except for the gun in my hand and the book on the coffee table. That goddamn book. One of the pages had begun to tear away from the others, no doubt a result of my less than careful treatment of the thing, and a single word seemed to assault my fragile psyche.
Salvation.
I get it now
My heartbeat slows marginally as the unravelling of this book that I’ve read so many times presented a welcome distraction. There had been nothing left for Kramer, or anyone else for that matter, in a world that was dying around them. His salvation was freedom from the great plague. His call to “accept” the transformation, was not the same as giving in to it. After all, hadn’t he expressed over and over again exactly how to “find release” as he called it, from the infection.
Kramer, unlike me, had accepted that there was no life in transformation, no being, no humanity, and no way back. His moral dilemma had come to a close, likely with a bullet in his brain.
A reluctant chuckle rose through my chest and escaped my throat. It didn’t sound like me. It was twisted, choked, and raspy. She had always known hadn’t she, that I would stay in this house with her. That’s why she had forced me to swear up and down on something as silly and inevitable as a grey hair, before locking herself in that room five years ago. Knowing her, it had all been for my own good, a way for her to look out for me even after she was long gone.
The creak of the door was like nails on a chalkboard. I laid my eyes for the first time in years on my wife, or at least, what was left of her. I had seen the afflicted before, but seeing her in this state brought a blockage to my throat that nothing could have prepared me for. Her head had been obscured by the typical growth, characteristic of the great plague, A mass wider than her torso which was completely wrapped around her head, the loose flesh sagging down onto her shoulders. Large orange boils were dotted across this mass, as well as glistening, concave pits, where those boils had burst and left scars. The thick external vein structure wrapped around it was partially translucent, providing a window to the tar-like substance flowing slowly throughout. The worst thing, however, the thing that forced my tears out of my eyes and onto the corroded floor, was her body. Her clothes had long since disintegrated, leaving a sight that was fundamentally identical to what I remembered, with one exception. The excess weight of the mass upon her shoulder had atrophied her spine, which had crumpled, leaving her torso contorted in a grotesque fashion, the flesh and muscle folding in upon itself in places.
I had let this happen. I had as good as desecrated my wife’s corpse by leaving her in this state, by convincing myself that a cure would be found for a plague that had long-since been eradicated by other means. I did this.
My hands move as though without instruction from my brain, raising the revolver to my eye-level, pointing at the place where my wife’s head was concealed amid that horrid mass of flesh.
Her head tilted upwards slightly, as if she was looking at me with eyes that had been long-since obscured. That muffled, teary voice sounded out from amidst the heap weighing on her shoulders. Despite myself hesitated for just a moment, savoring the shadow of a voice that I would never hear again.
“Do you love me?”

“Beasts all over the shop…You’ll be one of them, sooner or later…”
The strange Hunter turned around and exhaled. His breath was visible against the night’s air.
He’s bloodlusted. Aegis, I hope you have a plan.
Shimmer saw Elpis step back slightly, with a shocked expression on her face. She shakily raised a claw and pointed at something on the ground.
No. It… it can’t be.
That’s… horrible.
A shattered red jeweled necklace lay strewn across the ground, beside the mangled corpse of the Silkwing.
The Hivewing in front of the three swung his axe to the side. As it was a trick weapon, he was able to change its form on command. The axe had two forms: a shortened form that acted sort of like a sword, and an extended form specialized in crowd control and reach.
He extended his axe and Shimmer heard a low snarl from his throat.
“Do we kill him?” Elpis asked, a hint of fear in her voice.
“We don't have a choice. Steel yourself.” Aegis muttered and brandished his silksabers. The blades gleamed in the soft light of the three moons.
The hunter was taller than all of them, one head taller than Aegis and two taller than Shimmer and Elpis. Black tattered robes clung to him, marking him a Shadowhunter. Blood from tonight’s hunt stained the black fabric, showcasing his expertise and experience in the hunt. He wore a rounded dark-gray hat, and bloodied bandages covered his eyes. Shimmer wondered if he could even see.
Corpses of both beasts and dragons were scattered about the square-shaped courtyard, an equal amount of gravestones breaking up the open space. His teeth were uneven as if he had been eating and chewing rough bones. Blood dripped from his mouth down his neck, and his Hivewing stingers flexed in anticipation.
“Be careful,” Aegis started, “He’s going to use magic. Elpis, don’t use any of yours.” He told the hybrid dragon beside him, and she nodded.
The hunter walked slowly around them, searching for a weakness in their structure, and then spat out a lump of coagulated blood.
“That stench of squalid blood. No beast will be spared.” He half-muttered and half-growled. He tipped his hat respectfully, before lunging at Elpis. She dove to the side, and tried to retaliate with her scythe, but just slightly missed.
This hunter was agile, surprisingly so considering how old he looked. Shimmer gripped the handle of her silkhammer, knowing it wasn’t the time to strike. She stepped backward, seeking cover behind a grave, while Aegis leaped forward with the intent to pierce the frenzied hunter’s heart. Once again, the hunter rolled to the side and sent his axe hurtling towards the smaller Silkwing. Shimmer felt fear grip her heart, but Aegis avoided the blade. He fell back and motioned for Elpis to stay back.
“A sporting hunt. But alas, I’ve forgotten to ask your name.” Aegis growled, and the hunter laughed a sick, disturbing laugh.
“The name’s Gascoigne.” He shot back, and jumped into the air, slamming his axe down where Aegis was a split second ago. Shimmer’s ears rung from the sound of the impact. Her antennae subconsciously curled in defensively.
“Gascoigne. That’s a nice name. I’ll tell Ludwig you were a proud hunter till the end.” Aegis replied and sent his twin blades slicing into the hunter’s thigh. He recoiled, and a gleeful laugh escaped his bloodied mouth.
“Hehe… the sweet stench of blood. Just… just marvelous!” He exclaimed and raised his off-talon towards Aegis.
“Aegis! Get down!” Shimmer called, and a burst of flame erupted from the hunter’s claws across the courtyard. The limited magic the Hivewing had that he was willing to use in this hunt.
Aegis fell back, hissing in pain as a few stray flames singed his tail. The hunter chuckled under his breath, and Elpis took advantage of the opening he had presented her. She thrust the blade of her scythe toward him, opting for its sword form as of now, and the hunter knocked the blow aside. He countered with a kick to the Ice-Hivewing’s ribs, and she was sent to the ground. She coughed up a spurt of blue Icewing blood, and the hunter lifted his axe for a finishing blow.
Shimmer roared out and swung her hammer toward the hunter. The silk connected it to her wrists as it flew through the air, and it hit the hunter square in his side just as his axe was falling. He was sent into the opposite side of the courtyard, coughing and sputtering, but with a faint smirk on his face. Shimmer was in disbelief; how was he not dead?
“Ooh, what’s that smell… the sweet blood, ooh, it sings to me! It's enough to make a dragon sick.” Gascoigne laughed hollowly. He raised his talon, and Shimmer quickly rolled to the side as a ball of flame soared past her horns.
He’s going to turn at this rate.
Shimmer hid under a gravestone as a tree behind her erupted in flames, and Aegis jumped into the air. He beat his four wings ferociously before diving into the hunter. He caught both of Aegis’ horns, and he twisted his head. Aegis fell to the ground, and Gascoigne slashed his axe down across the Silkwing’s leg. Aegis cried out, and Shimmer’s heart ached. She pushed herself up, ignoring the raging fire around her, and she threw her hammer up in the air and aimed it towards the hunter. He narrowly evaded the heavy impact of the stone before Shimmer heard a metal clang behind her.
Elpis, scythe in one talon, approached Gascoigne. She had the little music box in her other.
Elpis played the music box and a song of eerie notes filled the courtyard.
The hunter stumbled back, clawing at his face, and Elpis shot Shimmer a look, her face telling her to make sure Aegis was okay.
Elpis advanced on the struggling hunter, and Shimmer leaped over to her Silkwing partner, who was injured on the ground. She felt tears welling in her eyes, but she knew this wasn’t the time to cry.
“Aegis. Look at me. Look at me.” She repeated, and he lifted his head weakly. His leg had a massive gash in it, but he could probably still walk, just with a limp.
“Ah, Shimmer. I’m alright. I’ll be back in the fight. Go, help Elpis. I’ll join back soon enough.” He groaned, and the pair heard a roar behind them.
Elpis was locked in a duel with Gascoigne, and the hunter’s stray fireballs met with blasts of frostbreath. For the first time in the battle, the hunter had a slight look of fear on his face. Elpis was relentless, her burial blade swiftly countering and stopping any attempt Gascoigne made at advancing. Aegis crawled back and attempted to stand, using a grave for support.
“Shimmer! I can’t hold him for long!” Elpis called, and Shimmer nodded. She took the hammer in her claws and swung it around her side, and in a clockwise circle in the air. It was the perfect counterweight to her body weight. She hoisted it up further into the air and then brought it crashing down onto the hunter.
It struck Gascoigne directly on the spine, and he fell to the ground.
He screamed in pain.
And then, a bright light flashed from his body.
His screams deepened in tone, morphing to be more animalistic. His posture fell forward, and his muscles rippled through his body. He grew in size, and more of his bloodied garb ripped from the size change.
Fur sprouted from seemingly random places on the Hivewing’s body, and his claws extended. His face shifted, his features becoming more and more distorted. His black hat fell to the ground.
The bandages around his eyes stayed, as well as the black-tattered garb that marked him as once a Hunter.
He was no longer a Hunter. Moons above, he wasn’t even a dragon anymore.
He was now a beast.
Shimmer’s heart pounded in her chest. She stared at the transformation for a split second, before reeling in her hammer. She took it in her right talon and dove behind a gravestone, wary of the spreading flames.
Elpis, on the other claw, held her blade in front of her. Shimmer heard a rasping cough escape the Ice-HiveWing’s throat, but she didn’t break her stance.
The beast that was once Gascoigne whipped around toward Elpis, and launched himself at her, with a ferocity Shimmer had never seen even in beasts.
Elpis sidestepped quickly. The beast slammed into the wall with a loud roar, and Shimmer spied Aegis in her peripheral vision struggling to stand. He winced as he stood on his injured leg, but didn’t cry out. He brandished his two blades as the beast charged at him.
“Aegis!” Shimmer cried.
He’s going to get hit. That beast will kill him.
Aegis ignored her, and as soon as the beast was within a wingspan from him he twisted his body in such a way that he narrowly avoided the savage charge. He elegantly sliced his twin blades across the beast’s hide, and the creature howled before rapidly turning to face him.
Shimmer flew into the air. “Get away from him!” She yelled before bringing the weight of her hammer down on the beast. It flattened part of his ribcage, but it seemed impervious to the pain. It did knock him to the ground, though, giving Aegis a moment to cut through what was once two of the hunter’s wings.
The beast quickly got back on its claws before sending a flurry of swipes towards Shimmer. She dodged to the side and readied her hammer for another strike.
That was before the beast kicked her square in her chest, its sharp, ravenous claws digging in and tearing her scales. Shimmer fell back, a slight gasp escaping her mouth, and she stumbled back into the wall. She lost her footing and fell to the ground, and gazed up at the beast locked on her.
“Aegis! Help!” She yelled, and not even a second later her Silkwing partner crashed into the beast. They fell to the ground, grappling with each other before Shimmer heard a familiar song fill the courtyard.
Elpis was cranking the music box, its ominous lullaby breaking up the noise of the fight. The beast stopped attacking Aegis and instead clawed at its face. It growled and screamed in pain, drawing blood from its very own fur and scales.
“Now! Kill it!” She yelled through the song, and Aegis nodded before driving his two blades through the beast’s skull.
They stuck, and the beast roared before throwing him off. It crawled and thrashed about on the ground, clearly not dead, and the two new blades stuck to his head pointed out like new horns.
Now’s my chance.
Shimmer stumbled to her claws and wound her hammer up into the air. With every last bit of her strength, she brought it down on the flailing beast.
It crushed what was left of the hunter.
Silence filled the courtyard, only broken by a few stray notes from the music box, the pained breathing of the three hunters in the area, and the howls and screams from other places in the Hive.
Shimmer breathed a sigh of relief, before collapsing.
I did it. We did it.
Gascoigne was free.
…
“I brought you water.”
Shimmer opened her eyes and found herself in her familiar hospital room.
The morning sun’s rays lit the room, and Shimmer felt very little pain from her chest.
It had been three days since that night.
Shimmer fixed her gaze on the purple-orange Silkwing sitting beside her and smiled.
“Thanks. I’m feeling much better, we should get going to Bloodworm soon. It’s today, remember?” Shimmer asked, and he nodded. Of course, he remembered.
The summons for every hunter to come to Bloodworm Hive. Ludwig, The Holy Blade had requested them all. He no doubt planned an attack. A shame really, the hive was only newly rebuilt. And now it was going to be the site of a horrid, savage warzone.
“I remember. Are you sure you’re feeling okay? Ludwig would understand if you couldn’t come,” Aegis asked, and she spied a hint of worry on his face.
“I’m fine. I need to make sure you don’t do anything stupid. I’ll come.” She sighed and took a sip from the canteen that Aegis had brought. It tasted wonderful, he had put something in to flavor it.
“Honeydew?” She guessed, and Aegis smiled.
“Yep. It’s your favorite, right?” He asked, and she nodded. She opened her arms, and he hugged her tight.
“I love you,” Shimmer whispered in his ear.
“I love you too. I pray to Clearsight that we’ll both be safe today. I can’t bear to lose you.” Aegis replied. He pulled away and gazed out the window.
Shimmer quickly drank the rest of the honeydew-flavored water before getting out of bed. She joined him at the window and was slightly surprised by what she saw.
Almost all of the hunters of Jewel Hive were preparing, some of them already flying in the direction of Bloodworm. They were all sharpening their trick weapons, mixing poisons, or saying goodbye to loved ones.
“We should get going. It’ll be midmorning when we get there, I don’t want to be late.” Shimmer suggested, and Aegis put a wing around her.
“Now? I need to get my stuff, and you do too. Join me at the workshop.” He asked, and she slid her head in the curve of his neck as he led her out of her sick room.
…
Shimmer beat her wings strong and fast against the morning savanna winds.
She saw what looked to be several hundred, maybe even a thousand dragons gathered around a hill. All of them had a colored garb fluttering proudly from their neck. Around ninety percent of the garbs were white, and the rest were black.
They were all different tribes and a fair amount of hybrids were scattered about as well. The gathered hunters were mostly Pantalan, but a good few were from Pyrrhia as well.
Shimmer and Aegis landed a short distance away from the hill, and all around them the sounds of dragons conversing and laughing with each other.
The sun was high in the sky, but it wasn’t quite noon yet.
“You see anyone you recognize?” Aegis asked, and Shimmer shook her head.
“There’s too many dragons here. It’s too much.” She whimpered, and Aegis pulled her close. He knew she didn’t do well in crowds. That was partly why she became a Shadowhunter. To work alone or with no more than a few other dragons.
“You’re safe with me.” He comforted her, and she leaned against him.
She had always hated being with a lot of other dragons. Aegis said it sounded like she had anxiety, which made sense. It didn’t do much to alleviate that fear, though.
None of them are thinking about you. They’re all busy with their own stuff.
Just take deep breaths.
“Do you want to move away? There’s fewer dragons over there,” He asked and pointed a claw across from them.
“…No, no I’m fine.” She whispered, and Aegis sighed.
“Alright. If you want to move, don’t be afraid to ask. I don’t mind it.”
Shimmer shook her head quickly, before the pair heard a loud voice from the top of the hill. They both looked up and saw the legendary hunter himself: Ludwig.
The menacing Nightwing stood proudly, his holy silver sword slung across his shoulder. His partner Memoria stood beside him, her tail twined around his. She had a bored look on her face as she stared at the crowd. The voices of the dragons fell silent, and Shimmer felt like she could breathe again.
The Nightwing’s loud voice echoed through the plain. “Dear Hunters.” He paused, his heroic voice inspiring pride and triumph in Shimmer, even though he had barely started.
“I’m sure all of you know why we’re here. Behind me, Bloodworm Hive stands proud against the horizon. Yet I am more than certain you all know what lies inside.” He paused and pointed his sword toward the dark shape of the Hive.
“Beasts. A few thousand. I think it’s time we put them out of their misery. That is why we are here. A battle of the ages, one that will go down in history. We, the brave heroes, fighting against evil. We will be reveled, we will be honored. We will protect the dragons we hold dear to our hearts, and save those we can yet save.” His speech roused the crowd, and Shimmer felt herself stand a little taller.
“The plan is simple. The Hunters of the Sun will lead the charge from the front. I have already talked to the leaders of the charge. The Shadowhunters will pick the stray beasts off from behind. We will attack at dusk when half the sun is hidden from the eye.” He gestured with his sword at the rising sun, and he extended his wings. His massive wingspan seemed to fill the sky, and Shimmer's heart swelled with pride.
He held his sword up to the heavens, and it transformed. It grew larger, into the shape of a claymore, and it turned a shade of sacred jade. It glowed with an otherworldly light, and the crowd was enamored by the display.
“Now, hunters. Spend the rest of today preparing. The hunt is on tonight. Ludwig, The Holy Blade will be with all of you in spirit.” He bellowed, and the crowd erupted in applause and cheers.
Shimmer saw a proud, triumphant look in Aegis’ eyes, and she felt the same. Ludwig’s blade captivated her. The blade of legend, inspiring all who lay eyes on it.
Ludwig would be with them tonight. The best, the greatest, the strongest hunter ever.
Tonight, the hunters would not know defeat.
Nor would they ever, with Ludwig alive and at their side.
May the good blood guide your way,
Ultima_8

It seems like she’s feeling insecure again. I keep my eyes shut tight, preparing myself for the song and dance I had been through so many times before. The weight of the bed shifts under me as she crawls under the blankets. A cold limb flops over my torso, wrapping me in a frigid embrace. I resist the urge to flinch as the moist, squishy mass of flesh presses into my forehead, a tickling droplet of fluid slides down my face and over my tightly pursed lips. Not daring to move, I waited patiently for the words I knew must come. Finally, after what seems like an eternity, a muffled teary voice sounds in a desperate tone:
“Do you...”
The voice falters, emitting several low-pitched, labored gurgles before continuing:
“Love me?”
Without hesitation I respond, as gently as could be managed:
“Of course I love you. But it’s time to go back to sleep now, okay?”
The gurgling continues, higher pitched now, like an excited baby. After a few moments the squishy mass detaches itself from my forehead, and the weight in the bed shifts. The gentle smacking of feet against hardwood floor, and a door quietly closing across the house resound in the otherwise silent room. Sitting up on the edge of the bed, I rock gently back and forth with my head in between my legs, resisting the tears that are fighting to escape. I allow a few moments of this pointless self-pity before forcing myself to stand up.
I walk down the hallway to the bathroom, not allowing my eyes to stray to the door to what used to be my room. A look in the mirror reveals that my forehead has already started breaking out in small orange pustules, along with a small streak of them where the fluid had dripped down my face. At least it didn't get in my mouth this time. That isn’t a panic I would like to revisit. I retrieve the small bottle of vinegar from the medicine cabinet and apply it to a cotton ball, beginning the tedious task of treating my face. A harsher acid would probably do a better job, but I prefer to avoid the stinging even if the pustules disappear more slowly. It’s not like I need to look handsome for anyone. It’s unlikely she can even really see me.
Once my skin is sufficiently covered in the stuff, I grab a bucket and mop, and clean the wet footprints from the hallway, and from the living room where my bed is located. Most of the wood flooring throughout the house is already somewhat corroded, but I’d prefer to keep my home intact to the extent that I am able. Although it’s up to anyone’s guess what manner of hellscape the bedroom must look like. I hadn’t been in that room in a long time. That was her domain now, and there was no reason for me to enter. No reason to take that risk.
I light the small gas cooktop in the kitchen and get to work making food for the day. Canned food is surprisingly appetizing when there’s nothing to do but eat. It would taste better with some seasoning, but there was no point in going through that much effort. This food serves one purpose, and that’s to keep us from starving. I slide one plate under the crack between the floor and the bedroom door and sit down in the living room with the other plate in hand.
The book on the coffee table catches my eye as it does every morning. Sighing, I pick up the ratty collection of pages and flip to a random one. One of the few books on the “Great Plague” as they call it, that was ever published, or at least, the only one I could ever find. Titled “The End” by Jared Kramer, It was more of a fanatical opinion piece than a proper informative book, but Kramer at least provided a bit of information on the virus, how the transformation works, and what methods could be used to, in his words, “Cure” the afflicted. A shotgun was noted as the best medicine, with gasoline and matches being a close second. Near the middle of the book, the portion that was coincidentally staring back at me from the pages, it turned into a near unintelligible ranting on the philosophy of consciousness. Apparently, Kramer had only just begun to consider whether blowing the afflicted’s brains out was a morally reasonable decision. He had never come across as a particularly intelligent guy in his writings, and my assumption was that he was simply the only person who wrote fast enough to get a book published before the plague became a worldwide epidemic. Towards the end of the book, Kramer does a 180 and states repeatedly that “Accepting the transformation is the only road to salvation”.
“Salvation... as if”
My words perish in the empty air, a death rattle of frustrated skepticism.
I had never quite understood what that actually meant. Salvation would be something like deliverance from harm, harm being the only thing that the plague brought to the world. The book thuds as I carelessly toss it back on the table. It's obvious that the author was in the process of transforming as he wrote the final passages, but they never ceased to bother me. Perhaps I'm just fixating on those words as a way of keeping my mind occupied.
There’s really no reason to focus on such pointless things.
--------------------
The following night my sleep was peaceful and uninterrupted. She usually shows up once a week, if not less frequently. After waking, the bathroom mirror reveals that the pustules ha subsided slightly, leaving my skin smooth, if not free of the noticeable blemishes. A subtle glint of light shines off of my head and my heart rate accelerates.
Surely not.
Surely it was a trick of the light.
I begin rifling through my matted hair furiously and there it is. A single, silver hair hanging in front of my forehead.
I guess this is it then.
She made sure I had sworn on everything under the sun. Her stupid goofy smile reflected in my memory.
“First grey hair and I’m outta here mister”
To think that a silly little joke between us had turned into this solemn responsibility. The steel of the revolver was cold in my palm. My eyes locked onto it, unsure of when it had made its way from the drawer of the coffee table into my hand, or for that matter, when I had entered the living room. The earth seemed to be rotating at impossible speeds. Everything was black except for the gun in my hand and the book on the coffee table. That goddamn book. One of the pages had begun to tear away from the others, no doubt a result of my less than careful treatment of the thing, and a single word seemed to assault my fragile psyche.
Salvation.
I get it now
My heartbeat slows marginally as the unravelling of this book that I’ve read so many times presented a welcome distraction. There had been nothing left for Kramer, or anyone else for that matter, in a world that was dying around them. His salvation was freedom from the great plague. His call to “accept” the transformation, was not the same as giving in to it. After all, hadn’t he expressed over and over again exactly how to “find release” as he called it, from the infection.
Kramer, unlike me, had accepted that there was no life in transformation, no being, no humanity, and no way back. His moral dilemma had come to a close, likely with a bullet in his brain.
A reluctant chuckle rose through my chest and escaped my throat. It didn’t sound like me. It was twisted, choked, and raspy. She had always known hadn’t she, that I would stay in this house with her. That’s why she had forced me to swear up and down on something as silly and inevitable as a grey hair, before locking herself in that room five years ago. Knowing her, it had all been for my own good, a way for her to look out for me even after she was long gone.
The creak of the door was like nails on a chalkboard. I laid my eyes for the first time in years on my wife, or at least, what was left of her. I had seen the afflicted before, but seeing her in this state brought a blockage to my throat that nothing could have prepared me for. Her head had been obscured by the typical growth, characteristic of the great plague, A mass wider than her torso which was completely wrapped around her head, the loose flesh sagging down onto her shoulders. Large orange boils were dotted across this mass, as well as glistening, concave pits, where those boils had burst and left scars. The thick external vein structure wrapped around it was partially translucent, providing a window to the tar-like substance flowing slowly throughout. The worst thing, however, the thing that forced my tears out of my eyes and onto the corroded floor, was her body. Her clothes had long since disintegrated, leaving a sight that was fundamentally identical to what I remembered, with one exception. The excess weight of the mass upon her shoulder had atrophied her spine, which had crumpled, leaving her torso contorted in a grotesque fashion, the flesh and muscle folding in upon itself in places.
I had let this happen. I had as good as desecrated my wife’s corpse by leaving her in this state, by convincing myself that a cure would be found for a plague that had long-since been eradicated by other means. I did this.
My hands move as though without instruction from my brain, raising the revolver to my eye-level, pointing at the place where my wife’s head was concealed amid that horrid mass of flesh.
Her head tilted upwards slightly, as if she was looking at me with eyes that had been long-since obscured. That muffled, teary voice sounded out from amidst the heap weighing on her shoulders. Despite myself hesitated for just a moment, savoring the shadow of a voice that I would never hear again.
“Do you love me?”

The players have been made aware of this, and have agreed. This is not meant to be a discussion of railroading.
Each player, some in groups, have had, or will have a private session leading up to the official start. They all start in the same place, against their will. Each character has something unique about them, or valuable, that would be appealing to slave traders. A very popular line of work in this part of the world. With undead being pretty much eradicated, cheap labor had to come from elsewhere. The party are more special than cheap labor.
A orc who wanted to escape the violence of his people and live peacefully. The reputation of his kin follows him everywhere.
An elvish princess, a rare thing in a world where there's around 500 elves left.
A bounty hunter, apart of a very well known clan, who possesses many trade secrets and tools. Many want their revenge.
A pair of twins who stumbled upon artifacts they shouldn't have. Otherworldly powers, and an unfair debt owed.
This corner of the world attracts many tourists for the same reason LA or Vegas does. There is endless opportunity for those willing to work for it, or a life of luxury for those who can afford it. Streets are filled with gambling, and exotics imports from all over the world. Gladiator style areas however is what brings in the most. Warriors from all over to come to show off their strength, willingly or not. For slave traders, this is where the money is. A fighter who can put on a show is a very valuable thing, and why 3/5 of the characters start off as prisoners.
The orc, elf, and bounty hunter are from across the region. Kidnapped for purposes that will be revealed later to them, backstory elements coming into play that made them desirable and worth the risk. The twins are apart of the gang who takes them, but they are not involved with this part. They simple are muscle, and smuggle drugs around for the gang. Session 1 is the first time the twins meet the other side of the business, and it's not for a promotion.
The session starts with the twins arriving to the hideout. Located at an old mining operation in the middle of the desert, it has been fortified and turned into something more. The old gates reinforced to create an area, and the entrance into the mines a jail. Deeper inside has been turned into a temple of Anubis, the prominate god of the area, but not all is what it seems. The twins are brought here to witness a fight. An elf druid, one traveling with the elf princess at the time of her capture is in the area trying to talk an owlbear out of eating with with little success. He wild shapes into a small bird in an attempt to escape, only to be shot out of the sky immediately by a guard with a long rifle. His death is quick, and gruesome as the owlbear does its thing to the prone man.
Afterwards, the twins are escorted inside. Past the jail, into the deeper chambers where they meet their boss. A Dwarvish women who immediately comes across as disliking them. She wants to test the twins loyalty, and this is when the characters are all brought together. The other 3 characters are brought into the room. One by one they are shot by the boss, and brought back by a cleric of Anubis, leaving only the twins left standing. This is just a showing of how she's willing to get her hands dirty, cause the twins want something that belongs to her.
The twins last big job was a heist. They needed to retrieve a silver jewelry box, and they had one rule. Under no circumstances is that box opened. Well, it was, but not willingly. The jewelry box contained a scale of a mercury dragon - dragons are rare, god-like beings here, and a scale like this is akin to an artifact rarity magic item. This Mercury dragon just happens to be the patron of the brother now, as the scale absorbed into him, through no choice or fault of his own. The boss wanted this power to herself, and upon retrieving the box, it didn't appear to be opened. Imagine her disappointment when she found it was empty. The brother was the only one alone with the box.
The sister is presented a deal. Kill her brother, right here, right now. Prove her loyalty without question or they both die. This is the first major decision the players are able to make now. If she pulls the trigger, or not. The boss isn't stupid. The gun handed to the sister isn't loaded. It's simply a test. If both siblings are to be shot, or just the one. The ending is largely the same.
Bleeding out on the ground, the sister, and newly revived party members witness the corpse of the brother forcibly raised from the dead to answer questions. The location of the item in the box. If his sister knew he stole it. Is he still loyal. - my ruling of Speak with Dead is they don't have to answer, but if they do, the answer must not be a lie. He will be brought back, but his answers will determine later interactions. Now, the sister. Every player in the game will have moments in the spotlight. I decided to start with her, as it made most sense, and given the twins background, they will be key members to the party next chapter. She still has the empty gun. If she knows its empty or not will change a few small details. She too is a warlock, and this is the signing of her pact with the Hexblade.
Her interpretation of this place is her own to make. She awakes in a void, and although she is still herself here, she is consumed by nothingness. No pain, no sound, no feeling at all. Not even a heartbeat. Here she meets an entity. A "shadow" that mimics her every movement. It even shifts slightly, becoming a silhouette of herself. When she touches it, it is an overwhelming sense of feeling. Fireworks going off at the tip of her fingertips. The warmth of her blood becoming as hot as the sun, but somehow feels comforting compared to the nothingness shes felt for all this time. Outside seconds have past. Here, it could have been years, or seconds. Impossible to tell. But with this touch she hears a voice reach out to her. "Squeeze". She's back in the room, vision blurry as her life fades. Gun raised, aimed at her boss, who doesn't fear an empty gun. Only, it's no longer empty. This is her new pact weapon. It functions as a gun, but she can choose to shoot normal bullets or eldritch blast from it.
Their escape comes soon after. The hideout is attacked by a Sand Stalker - a purple-worm like creature. Other captives save them, and the campaigns first chapter begins here. They are in the middle of the desert, very limited supplies, uncertain where exactly they are. Few npc trying to get to the capital city to find help. The twins, bounty hunter, and other npc know that everyone who bares the mark of the clan will have bounties out on them, to be returned to their owners. The world in now open to them, as they learn how to free themselves of this debt one way or another.
The slave contract is as good as a deal with a devil. Legally binding, and magical in nature. Each master / house has its own distinct mark to show ownership. Once the debt is paid off, the mark will fade on its own. Their starting debt is 10k gp each. It is meant to be ridiculous. The bounty on a slave is always 10% of their total debt. So, 1k gp to return them if they job is put out, and it will be. If captured the reward money is added to the debt they owe, making it 11k gp now. The system is designed to be nearly impossible to be free.
In the main city there are several patrons willing to help them for one reason or another. Old contacts of the twins and bounty hunter in the party are expected to be called upon. There's multiple escapes from the city I have ready, and I am looking forward to what they come up with. I don't expect them to ever pay off their debt. The main story will later being them back here, when they're ready to take on the challenges of the city in full, and save the world. Standard stuff.
This is a new attempt at an intro. Throwing them into the fire with a clear goal. A long "cinematic" before giving them full control. They all know the stakes, and are in a position of "our chances are better together" apposed from the classic meeting in the tavern and dealing with rats.
Every character has elements from their backstory that matter here, and will drastically effect the campaign going forward. They had all known the basics of the intro, and details where they started prior to making characters. Changes were made to my plans based on their characters, incorporating them into it one way or another. There were always slavers, and they were always going to die. The twins backstories are the only ones from this region and they provided me a lot to work with, and ability to tie them into the scenario.
The boss killing and betraying the twins is a detail I think is very important. The other characters may see them as enemies, so by doing it this way they have common enemies and no secrets about it. Only the sister is not in debt, giving her a few special privilege's while in the city. All the players know each other, have played in other games together, and know what's expected. I am trying to make the party's coming together seem natural by immediately giving them a common problem and no one else to turn to. [BG3 SPOILERS] as the mindflayer parasites provided the main cast common problems, and Out of the Abyss first chapter being major influences. There are many other politics involved also, some sub plots that will come up later that tie to this, and a lot of world lore involved giving insight to why this region functions like this.

I finished Danganronpa Another 2, and I had some questions. I would appreciate if people could help me with any of them, even if not all can be answered. Heavy spoilers.

1) What does Sora’s level 30 skill, “Bird of Wisdom” do? I reached level 30 at the end of the 6^th case so never had a chance to check what it did. (I’m sad there is no chance post 6^th trial to just review your skills and the relationship notes with the other chars).
2) How was Sora able to see the real world when Akane’s body was dead and the game was shut down?
3) How is Sora Akane? They have different eye color, skin color, body shape, face shape, hair color, and Akane’s hair is relatively curly while Sora’s is straight. I would have thought that Sora was a fake avatar for the virtual world… but in the real world Akane’s body looks like an older Sora. I’m confused.
4) When did Sora start being able to use divine luck? It seems like it might have been case 3 with stopping the trial before identifying the correct killer. However, she hadn’t remembered anything about Akane Taira yet, so how did she have divine luck (and why didn’t another Void’s luck do anything first?)
a. Was this just Mikado’s programming to prevent a bad end early, and not actually divine luck yet?
5) How was Sora able to remember some of Akane’s memories, despite being an AI and not an AE? Were they coded into her?
6) This game takes place in a virtual world similar to the 2^nd main game, except later (presumably with more time for tech improvements). How is it possible that the players were able to come back to life in the 2^nd main game, but not in this one? It seems like the same situation as the 2^nd main game, only MORE optimistic. Utsuro’s/Akane’s/Sora’s luck is similar to Izuru’s skill, except the former don’t even need to take direct action. Also, the 2^nd fangame takes place after the 2^nd main game, so there might have been tech improvements in the meantime.
a. My best guess is that Mikado purposefully sabotaged the virtual world to ensure deaths, to increase the odds of Utsuro being reborn?
7) Is Utsuro’s divine luck based on his body, personality, mind, or something else? It seems to be both/either, as Mikado wanted Yuki’s mind to be like Utsuro to get the divine luck, but then said the luck was stored in Akane’s body… but then Sora got the luck because her AI program was… based off of Akane’s personality and memories? I’m still a little unclear how Sora got divine luck from Akane when she wasn’t directly related to her (she was an AI, not an AE). If it's just being similar in personality or body, how do other people not have divine luck by random similarities?
8) I’m also a little confused about the distinction of AI vs. AE in this game. Yes, I understand that the brain structure is different so Sora can’t be loaded into a human brain. However, if her brain is so different from a human’s due to not being an AE, how was she able to use divine luck?
9) Is the reason Teruya’s death wasn’t considered a suicide because he didn’t explicitly say: “I know this is poisoned, I am deliberately eating this poisoned food to kill myself”?
10) Will we ever learn Nikei’s backstory, like we did the other Voids?
11) Did the future foundation and the Kisaragi foundation ever collaborate/meet up? I can’t remember when/if they discussed it in-game.
12) Was there a need for Mikado to reduce Yuki to a head in a jar, or was it just spite/for the eviluz/ to make it harder to have him escape before Mikado’s plan completed?
13) Why didn’t Akane’s divine luck restore her brain, since it was capable of performing other miracles and curing other fatal diseases? Or at least, why didn’t it stop Mikado from doing his plan and killing the other students in the killing game? If it was weaker from her being in a coma, that doesn’t necessarily explain not healing her earlier, or how Mikado and the other void’s divine luck still could be used.
14) If Mikado had Kanade's memories/ a video of her killing her parents, why was her being a killer mentioned as being 'surprising to Mikado'? Was it just Syobai misunderstanding? Did Mikado not look at that video himself until the reveal somehow?
15) Less related to this game specifically, but, if there was a really long sword/weapon, and all but one student was holding onto the handle and pushed it forward to kill the last student at the same time, would they all be the blackened? Wouldn't that be a simpler method than what was done in the 3rd trial?
~Not so much questions, as personal headcanons/thoughts (feel free to contradict me if evidence goes against it though)~
15) I’m guessing that the reason Yuki was able to use Sora’s body after being uploaded is because the muscle degeneration from a long term coma was undone by divine luck.

I have a problem. I am addicted to knowledge. I believed in the myths of the 1989s and 90s. NBC said "The more you know..." One of my former attorneys told me that I am too smart for my own good. How funny is it that the people we give power over us are the ones we need to defend ourselves against. I stayed in a horrible marriage too long. I should have never married him the second time. That being said, I am grateful for the life I lived. The song says "I could have missed the pain, but I'd a had to miss the dance... it's MY life, and it's better left to chance.". I don't believe in chance or fate. I believe that we have a certain measure of control over our lives and we allow others to derail us. What we do about that impact is a choice. I choose to be the captain of my own vessel until the river runs dry. No lawyer, no judge, no man, and no institution will force me to do anything else that is not for my own good or for the good of my family. Everywhere I go, I am turned away. I sat in an ER having a reaction to spider bites. I drove myself to an ER 2 hours from home because the ER here said nothing was wrong. I did call the individual who should have driven me, but he could not leave work he said. Funny how quickly he runs to help a woman he thinks will inherit money some day. When I got to the ER, I could barely breathe and had lost sensation in my hands and arm. I am not a doctor but know the difference between an ant bite and a venomous spider bite. And no, you don't feel a Brown Recluse bite. You will certainly feel a Black Widow bite IF bitten by an adult spider. Spiders are not insects, and if we are going to practice medicine, then we need to learn that yes, there is a difference between a 2, 4, or 6 leg creature and one with 8 or more legs. I was told there are no species of insects in this state that are poisonous. Well venom and poison are not the same thing and arthropods, arachnids, and serpents all have venomous species in this state. But if you really want to be technical about it, yes, there are poisonous insects in this state as well. Certain species of beetles have a coating on their exoskeleton that poison predators that eat them. I should sue that hospital, but when I try to do so, I am told constantly about statute of limitations. Well, that would be correct unless we are discussing a conspiracy. If even one party of a conspiracy is an employee of the business or government involved in the series of crimes which include a cover up of epic proportions, then the statute clock does not begin into the last probable occurrence of the group. Preventing someone from seeking legal counsel is the main reason statute of limitations cease to apply in all jurisdictions. Considering my 5g gateway I hold in my hand is alerting me that my IP address is being traced and altered, I am documenting that the time clock has not started ticking on this knowledge bomb. My confession here is that I have procrastinated in filing paperwork necessary to begin the next phase of my life. I don't intend to procrastinate, but it is something I cannot help. I have attention deficit disorder with hyperdiatractability. Oh yes, I thought you might bring that up. My ex-userband is a master manipulator when it comes to taking genuine disabilities and twisting them to fit his current need. Like using the multiple personality possibility to steal and then say it must have been one of the others living in my head. The truth is that I do have multiple entities dwelling within me. He is no longer living rent free in my head. And he of all people should have known better than to try to hurt me and my family. He knows good and well what I am capable of. Why in the hell would he or any of my close degree relatives even think about throwing me to the wolves? Think about that for a minute. He says I am unstable. He says I am dangerous. He says I am a genius. My doctor has said he fears for the world if I ever have a breakdown. Lol. A weapon of mass destruction? Come on you idiots. I am not a villain. And the AI shit can create crap about Darth Vader being a good guy and laugh all they want. I don't blackmail people or take money in romance schemes. What are you talking about now? I am talking about the tangled web we mortals weave that is host to a very dangerous arachnid. I don't know how to write code or do math. I don't know anything about the occult arts nor do I need to. I believe in one philosophy that you should read about a cave. The allegory in which we wage war with ourselves and have to ultimately decide to be or not to be. So why would anyone who knows me choose to strike against me? That would be me. They did not betray me. I stepped in front of them myself to make myself the target. There's your confession my dears. Clueless? Still don't know what the hell I am talking about? Let me ask you a question about something I observed once. Do you know what a dead ringer is ? How many kids do you see in the yard playing horseshoes or volleyball or hopscotch or anything? How are the enrollment numbers for youth sports in your area? How many 4-H clubs exhibit in your local fair? What is the pH level in the community pool? So if you can't make a profit from it, then it is something that should be eliminated or monetized? Well I guess I am the idiot here. I actually don't think like that. I would rather have a generation of healthy children who learn morals and ethics than to be a billionaire. Ever watched the movie Congo? Yeah, I am that level of crazy. You think I care about the money? I will not hesitate to burn every dollar I could possibly ever own to stop the children from being hurt by us. You want the truth? You can't handle the truth. Because the truth is that I am a good woman who loves very deeply and cares about people regardless of ethnicity or national origin. And that pisses people off like nothing else will. And that is the absolute truth. You didn't earn any right to be born in a free country any more than a child born in the deepest jungles of an unpronounceable country did anything wrong to be porn into starvation. You are no better than that person. So call me what you want to call me. But if I were you, I would not call me at all. Go ahead and tell me more about what I can and cannot do. Because the entire time you are busy searching for the next thing you can find online about me, the less time you are handling your own affairs and that allows the chance for something to invade your life. One. One chance. That's all I needed. Your motion for mercy has been denied. Well thank you for your consideration. Have a good day. Oh, and one more thing, how do you feel about NPR? Are those radio waves still available for broadcast? Or would you like to sell those to private investors as well? One chance. Lord give me one chance for a fair fight. You are not going to get me to do something that gives you the chance to shoot me or arrest me unless you intend to do so in a public place such as the private property you call county land, aka, my front porch. And the next time that happens, please allow me to call my father instead of unlocking my phone to call the ex-husband using my own device that you somehow unlocked using the passcode. And that was the one you actually needed, sir. How ironic that you gave that gateway to the man who broke it beyond repair. You did that. I'm done with money. I'm done with the man. And I am done trying to prove myself. Charge me now with whatever you think you have or make sure everyone connected to your organization ends all active tracking of us. I don't need a phone or any piece of paper to make my case. That's where you and whomever snatches my device to transfer shit doesn't understand. Yahoo! Yippee kai yah mother fuckers. Pass it on around. You want to go one more round? Or do you want to run? I'm not using Google on my train. I'm on my bridge. I'm using free tokens. I'm not doing anything more than playing a game using cartoon characters. And those Xs are beacons using analytics for the trackers to pinpoint the ones who joined the conspiracy against us. Just because you logged me out and changed my information to your information doesn't work. I asked you to give it back. You ignored me. Fine. Keep it. You want to be famous and rich beyond your wildest dreams? Be my guest, but don't say I didn't warn you what would happen. I can't stop it. I didn't start it. Rufus=the time traveler with a phone booth. James=King James. Travis=country music singer. Don=American Pie. Jerry=Maguire. Tom=Hanks. Bridge=the bifrost. And you can waste your time trying to figure it out but you will never do so. Because there is no "it ". Lmao. Hell yeah. The multiverse is full on all servers. Damn. Looks like I'm not as crazy as you made me out to be. All freaking servers on the Dark Web that bridges the US and Japan are full. Not one vacancy to let me play my game. Wow. I wonder how many of these players are from within the same state as me. Why do so many of you keep running up to St. Louis? That's not the geoblock zone anymore. You better get outside the continental US and any outlying territories if you want to be on the real web. The former president said it would crash harder than it did in 1929 if he was not elected. Wtf is that supposed to mean? Damn let me get a history book and look that up. Maybe it hasn't changed yet. But let me warn you about time travel. If anyone ever tells you to write an email to yourself in the future, call Interpol and file a report. That's a violation of international law. And it will get you on the list even if it is an assignment. Bet I don't do that again. Gee, Roger. You made me an international fugitive for that assignment. Wish I knew who to call for help on that one. Damn. Never trust anyone who is so well organized to guide your future. You never know what to expect from the shock waves. I opened the damn email on June 3, 2020. The day I died. How ironic. I wonder what would have happened if I had not received that email. Scary. But back to the spider bites...I didn't get help from that ER either. I ended up buying a knife and an onion. Actually I ordered Arby's, used the onion off my sandwich, and the knife to open my horsey sauce. I put the onion on my hand, wrapped it using the plastic from the knife, and several days later, the venom had drained from my hand enough that the swelling in my feet was going down and my blood pressure was returning to normal. Baby black widows don't have the kick mama does, but they are 1,000 times more deadly because they don't know how much of their spit to stick in you. And your earlobe and nostril don't have a pulse in them, by the way. So keep on bullshitting with the fake crap. If you have insurance for something highly unlikely to occur prior to the occurrence, doesn't that mean that you have a sixth sense and can predict the volcanic eruption that spewed counterfeit currency all over the state without a volcano? 💩♾️😱 Damn girl, just shut up and let them have it. I tried that. They keep trying to send it back to me when they can't make it work. It is never going to work again because you idiots changed everything so much that it can't be fixed. And that is all I am going to say about it ever because you don't want help. You want someone to do it for you so you can blame that person when it fails and cut them out when it succeeds. No. There's no solution. I'm not sure if you even know there's a problem. You will. But don't ask anyone for help when you do figure out how bad things already are. I am disinclined to aquiese to your request on grounds of I don't give a damn. Haha. What else do you want me to confess to for you to add to that admission you started in 2020? That's so funny that I forgot to laugh. I wonder how bullshit sounds in Morse code pinging on nft relays from me to you. Oh yeah. Well here's your tip for the day, big guy. You are not a good person. You are a bully. And some day, someone will knock you off that horse and when you land in shit just like me, I hope someone hands you hand sanitizer and a baby wipe. 😘

Bovada Sportsbook Review 2024

Bovada History
Bovada has firmly established itself as the most popular offshore online sportsbook for players in the U.S. Bovada covers a typical range of sports. It has a top-rated reputation for paying customers out on time, and we have always found the customer service at Bovada to be responsive and has multiple ways of staying in contact with a customer.
Bovada was initially part of the Bodog, the brand launched by entrepreneur Calvin Ayre in 2000. Bovada is the U.S. sports betting app, If you are looking for a sports betting sites in Canada Bodog is available today.
Customer Service
The customer service team works 24/7, 365 days a year. Bovada’s customer service team tends to be active across the web’s sports betting and gambling forums. There is chat, email and of course phone options for getting in touch with Bovada. If you are on X then there is a Bovada handle to follow.
Is Bovada safe? The site uses SSL encryption software to keep the connection secure. Bovada has been in business for over 20 years. If it was one of those rip off sites, then it would have gone out of business a long time ago. The team at Bovada has made it a premier offshore site and a large part of the credit goes to the responsive nature of the customer service department.
Website Experience
The Bovada site has all of the sports betting wagers than a US customer would expect. Ease of navigation, betting menu and overall aesthetics. It is easy to browse and the various sports and markets are laid out in an obvious manner. The site is devoid of unnecessary clutter.
The menu at the top of the homepage allows you to choose from the most popular sports, including football, basketball, soccer, and hockey. There are also icons that take you straight through to the live betting section and to a list of all the sports covered. A Quick Links section to the left of the sports betting homepage also alerts you to big sporting events that are about to take place, while you will see the most important upcoming ball games listed in the middle of the page. You can switch from American odds to fractional or decimal odds.
Sports Betting Experience
Bovada offers a wide range of betting options for anyone that likes to bet on sports. All of the major sports are covered, football, basketball, baseball, hockey, soccer, tennis, golf, boxing, and UFC. They also offer smaller markets like, table tennis, badminton, winter sports, and Aussie rules. European sports like darts, snooker, cricket, rugby league, and rugby union will see them covered at Bovada.
As a US focused site, the United States customer will see their favorite sports offered with a large number of bets available. NFL, NBA, MLB and NHL fans will find betting options to choose from on each game. You will often find more than 100 different bet types on offer when you click on an NFL game. The odds include, spread, totals, and win as would be expected. However, Bovada provides fans with alternative spreads and props as well. Yes, Bovada offers same game parlays just like Fanduel and Draftkings do. If you are currently wagering at one of these books then it is worth taking a look at Bovada to see if your bet has a better return at Bovada. Why make an SGP bet for +800 when Bovada is offering +950?
What about European sports? Bovada offers more than 100 betting odds on a big Premier League or La Liga game. Popular betting options such as draw no bet, correct score, and half-time/full-time betting to corners, goal props, and more.
There is also a politics betting section at Bovada. If you want to bet on politics in the US, you must use an offshore site. Political wagers are banned at Draftkings, Fanduel, BetMGM, Caesars and all US located betting sites. It is against Federal law for any betting site located in the United States to offer bets on politics.
Betting Menu Odds
Bovada generally offers everything you would expect from Draftkings or Fanduel. In fact, when Draftkings & Fanduel first started out, they were just clones of Bovada.
Mobile Betting App Review
The Bovada betting app is a browser extension. Bovada offers a mobile betting interface with all of the qualities of an app but with one big difference. An app from the Google or Apple app store would also include a lot of spywares. Your every movement would be tracked. This is how BetMGM and Caesars apps operate. They have access to all of your phone calls and text messages on your app. Bovada doesn't operate like this. There is fare more personal privacy with using a browser extension than using an Apple spyware app.
Casino, Poker, and Other Gaming Options
The Bovada site includes sports, online casino, live dealer, poker, and horses. The online casino at Bovada is one of the largest casinos in the world and will satisfy 95% of online casino customers. Casino games including blackjack, table games, slots, and specialty games. The casino section displays a collection of featured games when you arrive, made up of classic slots, popular table games, and Bovada is constantly adding new games to satisfy the US gaming market. The video poker has 17 different game options such as; Deuces Wild, Joker Poker 52 Hands, and Double Double Bonus Poker. There is also a large variety of live dealer games.
Reputation
Is Bovada legit? The site has been around since 2000. It is not one of those betting sites that comes and goes in a couple of years. Bovada has been around for over 20 years because of customer loyalty. The customers know that the Bovada motto, "never missed a payout" is vital to staying in business. Bovada has also stayed in business this long by evolving to meet the changing desires of the US betting market. When customers want a new type of bet or a new casino game. Bovada responds.
Bovada Pros

• Generous welcome bonuses for crypto
• Excellent referral bonus
• Bonuses are credited instantly
• Easy to claim and use the bonuses
• Large betting menu
• Rewards points can be exchanged for cash bonuses
• Support for multiple languages, including English, Spanish and Portuguese

Bovada Cons

• The non crypto bonus for sports maxes out at $250
• While Bovada operates in 46 states, it does not take bets in DE, MD, NJ, NV.

Bonus Codes
Bovada Casino Bonus Codes & Free Spins

• CAWELCOME — First-time players can get a 100% match deposit bonus (up to $1,000)
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• BVCBITCOIN150 — Bitcoin users will receive a 150% first-time deposit bonus (up to $1,500)
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• BIGLEAGUES - No deposit bonus code, you get 25 free spins on the slot game 777 Deluxe

Sports Bonus

• BVD1000 Sports Betting Bonus of 50% on 1st deposit up to $1,000
• BTCSWB750 – Sports betting bonus code for deposit with Crypto. Get 75% match bonus up to $750, valid with a Bitcoin, Litecoin, Bitcoin Cash or Bitcoin SV Deposit. Rollover is 5X Sports

Poker Bonus

• PWB500 — poker players get a 100% match deposit bonus up to $500 on their first deposit

Using Crypto
Bovada offers better bonuses and quicker withdrawal times if you use crypto. If you are new to crypto and need a guide to getting started. Bovada offers an online video series on how to setup a crypto wallet. Purchase crypto and how to deposit & withdraw from Bovada.
See videos on how to setup a crypto wallet and make your deposit.
Video – How to Get Started Using Crypto
New To Crypto?
Registration Screen
This will be your first step to opening an account with Bovada
You will need to provide the following:

1. Your First and Last Name
2. Your Date of Birth
3. A mobile number for verification
4. An email address for promotions and verification
5. Preferred currency. You do NOT need to make all withdrawals & deposits with the choice.
6. Your Zip Code. Bovada does not accept bets in: Nevada, New Jersey, New York, Maryland, or Delaware.
7. Click on verification text or email. Bovada Registration Screen. This will be your first step to opening an account with Bovada. You will need to provide the following. Your First and Last Name Your Date of Birth A mobile number for verification An email address for promotions and verification Preferred currency. You do NOT need to make all withdrawals & deposits with the choice. Your Zip Code. Bovada does not accept bets in : Nevada, New Jersey, New York, Maryland, or Delaware. Click on verification text or email.

Making a Deposit

1. Login into your Bovada account
2. In the upper right will be an account icon
3. Your account deposit / withdraw screens & available bonuses are here
4. Choose deposit
5. Choose deposit type
6. Choose deposit amount
7. Choose your bonus (if you want to search your bonuses, click here before choosing type & amount)
8. After making a deposit a verification screen with reference number will show
9. Once a deposit is confirmed, you are ready to start gambling. Making a Deposit at Bovada Login into your Bovada account In the upper right will be an account icon Your account deposit / withdraw screens & available bonuses are here Choose deposit Choose deposit type Choose deposit amount Choose your bonus (if you want to search your bonuses, click here before choosing type & amount) After making a deposit a verification screen with reference number will show Once a deposit is confirmed, you are ready to start gambling

Choose Your Bonus
Scroll down to choose your bonus before deciding what amount you will deposit. There may be additional bonus offers available that are better than the one you were going to use.Choose Your BonusScroll down to choose your bonus before deciding what amount you will deposit. There may be additional bonus offers available that are better than the one you were going to use.
Bonus Screen
The "Choose Your Bonus" Screen
If you click on this, every bonus that you are currently eligible for will show. This is not just for new customer's initial deposit. This is the screen that will have all bonuses, including retention bonuses.
The Bonuses will have important information on them.

1. Type of currency
2. Type of game the bonus can be used on
3. The amount of the bonus
4. The minimum and maximum deposit
5. The rollover requirements if you choose this bonus. Bovada Bonus Screen. The "Choose Your Bonus" Screen If you click on this, every bonus that you are currently eligible for will show. This is not just for new customer's initial deposit. This is the screen that will have all bonuses, including retention bonuses. The Bonuses will have important information on them. Type of currency Type of game the bonus can be used on The amount of the bonus The minimum and maximum deposit The rollover requirements if you choose this bonus

Deposit Verification
Once you have chosen a bonus type and made a deposit. You will receive confirmation of your deposit. If you think there is a mistake. Contact customer service immediately so it can be corrected.Bovada Deposit VerificationOnce you have chosen a bonus type and made a deposit. You will receive confirmation of your deposit. If you think there is a mistake. Contact customer service immediately so it can be corrected.

What are the deposit limits?

Limits are based on the deposit method chosen. Please refer to the chart below, the limits indicated are on a per transaction basis:
Method Minimum Maximum
Visa/MasterCard * $20 / $1,500
BTC, BCH, BSV, LTC * $10 / $5,000
ETH * $50 / $5,000
Player Transfer * $10 / $15,000
Direct Bank Transfer * $50 / $450
MatchPay * $20 / $1,000
USDT * $5 / $5,000
\Deposit limits may differ per account; please check your limits in the cashier page for more information*
\*Amounts are in USD market equivalent; however, as these can fluctuate - Litecoin (LTC) and Ethereum (ETH) deposits of less than 0.01 LTC/ETH or Bitcoin (BTC) deposits of less than 0.0002 BTC will not be honored.* What are the deposit limits?Limits are based on the deposit method chosen. Please refer to the chart below, the limits indicated are on a per transaction basis:

Making a Withdrawal at Bovada

Once you have chosen the type. The next step is to choose the amount.
After selecting Request Withdrawal - below a "Reference Number" will be generated. If you have any questions about your withdrawal. Contact customer service and provide this number as verification for your withdrawal.
Before you withdraw, take note of the following:

• The amount of your withdrawal request is deducted from your account balance immediately for the review stage.
• Withdrawals are processed on a first-come, first served basis and take approximately 24-48 hours to be reviewed. With Bitcoin, Player Transfer and Voucher takes about 24 hours for approval.
• Delivery time frames vary depending on your method of withdrawal and can be viewed on the withdrawal screen for each method.
• We're unable to ship a check by courier withdrawal to a P.O. Box or military address. Double check your address on file to avoid any delivery delays.
• A $100 processing fee will be charged for each Check by Courier withdrawal request.
• Checks requests exceeding $3,000 will be sent incrementally every 7 days until you are fully paid out.
• Cryptocurrency (BTC/BCH) requests exceeding $9,500 will be sent incrementally every 3 days until you are fully paid out.
• Should you lose or misplace your check, a STOP PAYMENT fee of $40 may be charged before the funds are returned your account. Deposit your check as soon as possible as it may become non-cashable after a period of time. The STOP PAYMENT option is unavailable on checks older than 6 months.
• Withdrawals via Bitcoin will not be processed until all deposit transactions have been confirmed.

When will I receive my withdrawal?
When you request a withdrawal, the funds are deducted from your account immediately.
All requests are then reviewed, in the order in which they are received and the timeframe depends on the type of request you submit.
Once approved, delivery times may vary from one withdrawal method to another. Check the estimated time frame by clicking the method on the cashier page.
If you’re looking for the fastest payout, we recommend using our cryptocurrency methods. Once requested, it'll take about 24 hours for approval. Compare the time frames below:

• Bitcoin: Up to 24 hours from when your funds are approved.
• Bitcoin Cash, Bitcoin SV, Ethereum, USD Tether and Litecoin: Up to 1 hour from when your funds are approved.
• Check by Courier: Approximately 10-15 Business Days via courier once your withdrawal is approved within 24-48 hours.
• Bank Wire: Once your request is approved within the mentioned timeframe, it takes approximately 10-15 business days to reflect on your bank statement.

Understanding the Rollover
If you do not understand what a rollover requirement is then please take the time to read.
What is rollover?
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Sportsbook Details:
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I don't know what to do with this episode, can I pick out five choice quotes? I mean, the transcript is here:
transcript
and just look at it! It's bangin'! All of it!
So Alan is vying for the role of East of England Car Laureate, a role he suggested having been the Norfolk Car Laureate and had ambitions of expanding his reach further. It has to go to a vote and field for other candidates and that's FINE, so we catch Alan in full-on P.R. mode.

"Cars. Better than buses, better than trains. You can keep your bicycles, keep your planes. Don't have to talk to strangers, on your own, choose your sounds, everyone else, fuck off"

I think it's just nice to listen to an episode where Alan's a bit of a media player, rather than the ones where he comes across as an easily-fooled cretin. But it is worth highlighting this tragic bit of Alan Lore:

Don't know why I've never run for high office. Closest I've ever come to an election campaign was just after my divorce, when Carol said the kids could decide where they were to spend Christmas. Fair enough, they were both in their twenties, and my god, that was a vote I wanted to win. I lost, but I deserved to lose. I was living in a hotel with a microwave in my room so it would have been pretty bleak If they decided to come.
I ended up, I remember, watching Terminator while eating a Walls Viennetta with a shoehorn. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that was the worst day of my life!

It's probably in my top three of Oasthouse episodes.

Never thought I’d see the day, in just 3 months I reversed it!
But my goal is 5.2.
Here’s some info about me, I’m about 5’11-6’ weighting at 157-162ish. So pretty skinny guy.
Being pre diabetic changed my life, if I didn’t randomly take that test to check if I’m okay, I would’ve been consuming RED 40s, processed foods, drinking every weekend, etc.
Here’s what I did:
First I threw away all my snacks and processed foods. I budgeted for healthy and WHOLE foods. If I craved sweets I tried my hardest to forget about it.
Learned to always look at each foods ingredients. For example: peanut butter should only have ONE INGREDIENT. Not 5+ smh. Unless the food is meant to have multiple ingredients, but you wanna make sure that each Ingredient is whole. Use Yuka app as reference.
I learned that if you aren’t craving protein, you shouldn’t be eating the bad foods.
I ate balanced meals such as chicken breast, party wings, lean steak but cutting off the visible outer fat to reduce the trans fats or whatever it is lol. Ground meat. EGGS EVERY MORNING. I at least do 4-5 eggs. I changed my oil from canola to olive oil and avocado oil.
I changed my Teflon pans to stainless steel baby!!! For some reason the food just tastes better on stainless steel. So invest the money, Costco has the best deals.
Vegetables are important af. I’d either get romaine lettuce, spinach’s, asparagus, or the mix spring vegetables. These are the foods that will balance your meals. Trust.
I incorporate fruits like, all types of berries, pears, apples. I avoided bananas since it raises sugars but idk I don’t have a CGM to try it out.
I incorporate fats sometimes just cuz healthy fats are expensive to come by but luckily I grow my own avocados lol. I’d add avocados and healthy peanut butter.
I incorporate whole grain bread, eliminate the white bread trash please. Get on that whole grain Dave’s killer. Apparently it raises blood sugar but I’ve been eating it and I did fine I suppose.
I incorporated a healthy water intake. I would drink powdered made electrolytes until I discovered this better alternative. - Sparking spring water. I use S.Pellegrino, got it at Costco and what I do is I cut a lemon or lime in half and use the half lemon to squeeze on a tall cup, I add a pinch of the pink sea salt, add ice and the sparkling water and omfg, healthy electrolyte with no additives and it taste fricken good. Don’t over do it cuz it can be addictive . I drink it at least 1-2 times a day and a bit of regular water. But don’t over hydrate yourself. If you don’t have a tint in the restroom you’re over hydrating. Google a color pee chart lol.
This is great for soda lovers
I incorporated a cold press juicer but damn it can be time consuming and expensive in terms of ingredients. But make sure it’s majority vegetables. Add like one or two fruits like apples or oranges to add the sweetness.
Bought the ninja ice cream maker. Make sure you add whole ingredients not any of that processed stuff to help make a good icecream. You want it to be a bit sweet? Use monk fruit. It’s better than sugar but more expensive. You wanna bake your favorite sweets? That’s fine I’d find ingredients that doesn’t raise blood sugars. Make sure the ingredients are whole. ALWAYS.
Before I eat the healthy snacks I always have to incorporate veggies now. 3 months ago I would’ve never thought lol.
Incorporate exercise. I have dumbbells at home so I occasionally do squats and other forms of lifting . I do pushups as well. Gyms are boring to me so I found this group to play my favorite sport. Which is soccer, I play 2 hours straight maxing out 10,000 steps+. If you hate the gym find a sport, 10x better imo.
It’s hard for me to max out 10k steps but I do at least 2k.
Now you will see results in a month, my face got slim, your mental health improves, you feel grateful for the smallest things. Processed foods will make your stomach upset. I was so used to processed foods that I didn’t realize how bad it was making me feel.
I promised myself that if I reverse it I’ll go back to the junk. But hell nah lol this change is for life lol. I love it.
And yes I did relapse, I got drunk once in the 3 months and drank responsible one day and ate some processed foods. But each time I did I would feel sick.
There will be cynical people telling you it’s okay to eat processed foods once in a while, and ridicule your new diet. Don’t let that get to you. It’s your body not theirs.
You’re not perfect so you’ll break rules here and there.
I’ll update if I have more to share. If I can do it you can to.

I'm going to try to translate those top comment from Hupu for MSI, I might skip some of them as they are Chinese internet memes that I've no idea how to translate, and those comment related to Honor of Kings, a popular league like mobile game made by Tencent.
The rating is user poll generated, you can give a rating between 2 and 10, and average is used. A total of 86k people participated in this series' rating.
Hupu rating is an in APP feature so it doesn't really have a link, but here is the post match thread for the match, and on the top there is an link you can click on that get you to that page. link

MATCH 1: T1 vs. TL

T1

	Player Rating	Top Comment
Zeus Camille	7.6	Broke into an army of a hundred legions, cut off the general's head, and did it as easily as picking something from his own pocket. (Romance of the Three Kingdom, Chapter 25.)
Oner Poppy	7.2	Guys, my head is a bit itchy. (I think this is referencing a Chinese meme about head itchy means growing brain.)
Faker Taliyah	8.6	Not only all of the league bloggers and your fan/hater bloggers have been feeding off you for the past 10 years, the four "genius" and a championship coach is also feeding off you. You must be exhausted.
Gumayusi Senna	7.4	So, are you picking Senna because your support doesn't like to ward?
Keria Ornn	6.3	Ram passed. (This in Chinese is 羊过, sounds the same as had Covid, suggestion he is still having long Covid symptoms.)
KkOma	4.2	I want to flame you even if you guys won, this comp, if they don't make any mistakes you guys can't do anything, if Old Guy(Faker) don't carry you don't have any damage. Thought you come back to solidify your GOAT coach position, instead you are just coming back to leech.

Team Liquid

	Player Rating	Top Comment
Impact K'Sante	8.5	SKT legendary top laner Impact ready to come back!
UmTi Xin Zhao	2.4	Former worst jungler in LCK.
APA Aurelion Sol	2.5	oto. (Referencing Otto, the mid laner just got banned from streaming and Old Guy Cup for flaming, also known for been bad.)
Yeon Kalista	3.4	I'm farm when my teammates are fighting, I'll emote after I cast abilities.
CoreJJ Alistar	3.0	I was eating noodles, and saw your flash kowtow, noodle just flew out of my nose. (kowtow is Chinese nickname for Alistar Q, often used when it misses.)
Spawn	3.3	I firmly believe a team that could be 3:0 by TES should not ever appear on an international stage.

MATCH 2: T1 vs. TL

T1

	Player Rating	Top Comment
Zeus Vayne	4.4	The only bright side is your KDA, you are either farming or trolling this game.
Oner Jarvan IV	2.7	To think that one of the two team playing this game today will win just makes me uncomfortable.
Faker Ahri	9.2	They need to rely on you against TL, sad.
Gumayusi Varus	8.3	You and old Lee holding this T1 together, but this MSI I don't see any hope. (Lee is Faker's Last name).
Keria Kalista	3.4	I've been thinking, is the reason Guma's priority in the team is low because you want to have fun.
KkOma	2.8	You should just pick Lucian jungle and remake. (Uzi Reference.)

Team Liquid

	Player Rating	Top Comment
Impact K'Sante	7.2	Thought you are safe just building armor with 3 ad? Guess again, the only damage dealer was your old teammate.
UmTi Lee Sin	2.3	You know what, you reminded me of when I first started playing league.
APA Taliyah	4.1	One American can't win against nine Koreans.
Yeon Samira	9.6	Only one knows how to play league in your team.
CoreJJ Nautilus	2.3	Patriot!
Spawn	5.4	Cover up the name plates I thought this is LGD vs RA.

MATCH 3: T1 vs. TL

T1

	Player Rating	Top Comment
Zeus Vayne	3.0	Wow, you just invented a new style of Vayne, the fly style, going around annoy people, and just got splatted on the wall, like a fly.
Oner Sejuani	2.7	Got gapped by a team that got 3:0 by TES, and the fans were dreaming about a miracle run?
Faker Corki	2.9	Are you considering to join the Old Guy Cup?
Gumayusi Varus	8.5	You played well, please use your autos on your teammates when you get off the stage.
Keria Rell	2.6	T1 Esport club transfer announcement: After discussion with the player, the club will respect player's will, as of today, T1 league of legend esport club's support player Ryu "Keria" Min-seok will no longer be part of the organization and join Le Crazy Horse de Paris.
KkOma	2.7	Why did you ban Lucian and Senna, just ban Naut and Taliyah. Why don't you ban head lock champion like Naut when you have Varus?

Team Liquid

	Player Rating	Top Comment
Impact K'Sante	9.6	What champion are you? S3 worlds champion.
UmTi Rek'Sai	9.1	Even NA can win a game against T1, how bad is TES.
APA Taliyah	9.0	All chat every time you get a kill, if you tilt Keria, you chance of winning just go up 10%. Remember worst policy of all is to besiege walled cities, the best policy is to attach enemy's heart.
Yeon Kalista	9.4	Its a success if you don't get 3:0
CoreJJ Nautilus	3.1	"So good"
Spawn	8.2	Kenzhu: Guys, I logged on and did this BP.

MATCH 4: T1 vs. TL

T1

	Player Rating	Top Comment
Zeus Vayne	5.8	I thought TL vs T1 would be a quick 3:0 turns out it is a lot closer. I thought the CBA final was going to be a lot closer, they are down 15 points already at end of second half.
Oner Poppy	5.7	Are you guys playing Arena with TL?
Faker Orianna	9.1	Finally got Ori, this is going to be a fun game for me.
Gumayusi Senna	6.4	Am I weaker than them? Kept picking me Senna, a weak laning AD.
Keria Ornn	5.0	Top plays AD, AD plays support, support plays top.
KkOma	3.8	Why are you always crossing your arm and not talking, let Faker do all the talking during BP.

Team Liquid

	Player Rating	Top Comment
Impact K'Sante	4.4	SKT, I don't own you anything anymore.
UmTi Lillia	4.1	MSI? No. Collegiate League, Yes!
APA Ziggs	4.8	Brand: Should've picked me.
Yeon Kalista	4.8	He is clean, he doesn't know anything.
CoreJJ Rell	2.9	Team Liquid Esport club transfer announcement: After discussion with the player, the club will respect player's will, as of today, T1 league of legend Esport club's support player Jo "CoreJJ" Yong-in will no longer be part of the organization and join Le Crazy Horse de Paris.
Spawn	3.5	Even BLG bans Ori, you are?

Day 1

(In a nice, clean and tidy room, an adult player (male, 29) is recording himself with a friend of his, they are laughing, happily.)
"So, what are you recording for?"
"You know, for memories and such! Wherever we go, my camera will be with me at all times."
"Alright then! They're doing a BIG sale tomorrow at StarDawn Mall, let's go there! Almost every store will have discounts. I can't wait to buy that jacket I've always wanted!"
"Sure, man. Let me turn off the camera so we can sleep."
(Just as he said, he stops the camera from recording, ending the first video.)

Day 2

(They are now in StarDawn Mall, walking around and checking out the shops. The adult player's friend points to one of them.)
"Let's go in there, that's where I saw the jacket."
"Okay."
(They enter a clothing shop.)
"Welcome! Hm? Why do you have a camera with you?"
"Just making videos about my life in the game, haha!"
"Oh, okay then."
"Hey, dude. Wait for me, I'll go get the jacket. Hope it's not sold out!"
"Alright."
(His friend goes around the shop for a few seconds, and returns, holding a nice-looking jacket. He puts it on the counter then pays. Now that he purchased it, he wears it.)
"What do you think? Do I look cool enough for ya?"
"Yup! Let's keep exploring a bit."
(They leave the shop and continue to walk around the mall. On the second floor, they enter a different clothing store.)
"Hi there! Do you wanna buy something?"
"Uh-huh. Any pair of pants that kind of look like mine in here? I'm getting tired of having them on every single day, haha!"
"Of course, follow me, sir."
(The adult player follows the employee, who's also an adult, around and she picks up a neat pair of navy blue pants.)
"What do you think of these?"
"I like them! ... Oh, wait, I'll turn off my camera real quick, it's about to die soon."
(He does so.)

Day 3

(The adult player and his friend are in the arcade. The camera is on a table, facing them. They are having fun, laughing cheerfully.)
"Player 1 or player 2?"
"Eh, I'll be player 2. You deserve to be 1!"
"Thanks, man! You're the best."
(As they play a multi-player game, a teenage player sneakily approaches the camera, makes a silly face, and then walks off screen, giggling childishly. The game is over.)
"Woo!! I beat you!"
"Congrats, dude. Wanna go for another round?"
"You betcha! Hahahaha!"
(They continue to play the game for a few more minutes. The adult player yawns a bit.)
"Tired, huh?"
"Yeah. Let's go home soon."
"Okay."
(Now the game is finished, the adult player picks up the camera to turn it off.)

Day 4

(They're walking through a neighborhood. The adult player is in a good mood today!)
"So.. where are we going next?"
"Well, I don't know. A restaurant, maybe?"
"Ooh, good idea! Can we go to Salmin's Fantastic Restaurant? I heard that they have really awesome food there!"
"Sure we can, bud! Even though the meals are a little expensive, we can still eat some of the cheap ones."
"Yep."
(The adult player then turns off the camera.)

Day 5

(They're in the same restaurant his friend told him about. They are enjoying their food! The camera is on an empty table, facing them.)
"Goddamn, this food tastes fluffing incredible! Whoever is cooking those, is one talented person!"
"Mhm, I agree with you. Even the soup is great..!"
(They laugh for a bit.)
"Say... do you remember that guy with a mustache who used to work here?"
"Yeah, why are you asking?"
"What do you think happened to him? We haven't seen him in months."
"I.. don't know, dude. He probably got fired or something..?"
"No way, man! I don't think so. He was pretty friendly and nice to everyone, I doubt he got fired for that. Maybe, just.. MAYBE it has something to do with his boss."
"Huh..? What do you mean?"
"The last time I was here, I overheard him yelling at the mustache guy for whatever reason. He's never done anything wrong while working here! Also, he was grey and looked hella bored as if he didn't give a damn anymore."
"Oh... so, do you think he's.. you know."
"A weird guy? Probably. Like, damn, I miss him, dude..."
"Don't worry, someone will... uhh, make him feel better."
"You sure?"
"Yes."
"If you say so.."
(As soon as they're done eating, the adult player turns off the camera.)

Day 6

(They are at the park, both of them are happy.)
"Wanna go for some ice cream?"
"Yeah, sure."
(They approach an ice cream vendor.)
"Good morning, here's the menu!"
"Thanks, pal."
"Hmm, I think I want vanilla mixed with strawberry."
"And, I want this sprinkled one!"
"Okay, just one second please."
(The ice cream vendor gives them their ice cream.)
"Enjoy!"
"Thank you."
"Yup, thanks!"
"Yo, how are you holding the camera with one hand?"
"Let's just say that I got used to it, hahaha!"
(They laugh as they walk through the park. Then, a child player approaches them.)
"Ooooh, is that a camera?! Can I be in a video, please..?"
"Sure!"
"Yay!! Look, I can dance!"
(The little player does a silly dance, and almost falls to the ground.)
"Um, did I do good?"
"Yeah, you did. You need to practice more though, haha!"
"I know, mommy always says that too."
"Oh, the camera is almost dead."
(The adult player turns the camera off.)
VERY INTRIGUING...

Day 7

(It's night time, and the camera is still on, for some reason. It's on the adult player's computer desk, facing him. He's sleeping peacefully. The camera is charging, by the way.)

Day 8

(The adult player and his friend are in his room, they look confused.)
"You're telling me that the camera was on the entire night and you didn't realize that?"
"Yes, I don't know how it turned on by itself. It's kinda creeping me out, dude."
"Heh, umm, don't worry about it. It probably malfunctioned or something like that."
"Okay..."
(...)
"Do you wanna go to the arcade again?"
"Alright."
(The adult player turns the camera off.)

Day 9

(It's dark, the camera is now lying around in the park, it's somehow on.)
(...)
(Faint running footsteps are heard. They are getting closer... and closer... and closer. Then, the camera gets picked up by the adult player, he's panting rapidly and looks terrified. He continues running.)
"Shoot-shoot-shoot-shoot-shoot-shoot-shoot-shoot!"
(Behind him, the faint-ish sounds of glitchy, heavily distorted screeching are heard. Pointing the camera over his shoulder, it shows a violent weird guy running on all fours, chasing the adult player.)
"LEAVE ME ALONE!!"
(Unfortunately for him, the adult player gets tackled to the ground, making him drop the camera. It's kind of facing them, just a little to the side.)
"AGH! L-let me go!"
(And then, they teleport away.)
(...)
(...)
(...)
(...)
(A few hours pass, someone picks up the camera, moving it a little. Turning it around, it reveals who exactly is holding it... the poor adult player himself, who's now a weird guy. Like most of them, he looks horrified. He turns the camera off, ending the ninth.. and the last video.)
AND HERE GOES ANOTHER LOVELY PLAYER WHO RECORDED SUCH INTRIGUING CONTENT!
THIS DAY WAS ABSOLUTELY *FANTASTIC*, DON'T YOU THINK?
BUT, THAT IS JUST MY OPINION. AND I LIKE IT!
WILL *YOU* DO THE SAME? HEHEHEHEHEH..
GOOD-BYE!~
​
​

When we are first introduced to BM we are told it is a team of absolute logic and rationality, something we can see from the very first game. Noa only plays players with high enough numbers as those players are more likely to produce good results and help the team win their games. The team itself is built around Michael Kaiser, a player with an unparlleled shot that even the best striker in the world cannot compete with. They're logic is built around the Kaiser Impact as the shot itself rarely misses and is rarely blocked. This belief is so strong that Kunigami was pretty much immediatley benched after not only failing to join the Kaiser system, but also failing to show he was a scorer onpar with Kaiser. Isagi failed in this area as well, with Noa giving him and Kunigami one more opportunity to prove they are of value to the team. Isagi once again defies the Kaiser system in place, but this timehe uses Kunigami to show his value, settling for an assist once he realizes he is unable to score. This moment right here led to events that has had everyone, including me, question how rational both Noa and the rest of BM are.
Now logic in its most basic definition means "natural or sensible given the circumstances". Many take this to mean the 'overall' most sensible move, and that's generally correct. Moving with this idea, Isagi's first assist is anything but logical. Kunigami was heavily marked and Kaiser(who has been determined to be the better scorer) was freer than a bird. And yet Isagi still passed to Kunigami, who would then score with his hero's lefty. So let's change our way of thinking and view it not from an overall sense of rational but from an idividual rational. For Isagi, passing to Kaiser meant submission, an illogical move that directly goes against his goals, and attempting to score on his own again was impossible and would lead him to be benched indefinitely. He needed a way to both show his value and stick it to Kaiser, and he did so with an assist to Kunigami. So what does this mean? A person's 'logic' is defined by their "goal".
Moving with this idea in mind, we can now explain some of the more "illogical" things the players have done and even Noa's decisions. The infighting in BM has cost players numerous scoring chances and Noa seems to not really care. In fact, his lack of response suggests he wants this to happen. Why not just bench the players who are actively impeding their teammates like Kaiser and Isagi? With the most recent chapter, it's heavily implied that Noa wants Kaiser to evolve into a better player, and with that, it all makes sense. Kaiser needs a player he can't easily crush, one that will bite back at any opportunity if he wants to grow. Noa saw Isagi's defiance in the first game and likely realized the ego the blue lockers have been developing will allow them to grow to stand against Kaiser. This is why during the Manshine game he told Kaiser his mixing of the blue lockers with the BM regulars was a test. He wanted to see if they could push Kaiser to grow. So if the goal is Kaiser reaching another stage in his soccer development, why bench him? Why bench the players that are forcing to grow? It'd be illogical to do that. If the primary goal was to "win the game" then the infighting is illogical and Noa would be benching players left and right and straight up telling players to work with Kaiser. But if the goal is to "facilitate Kaiser's growth" then the infighting is fine as no one can grow without some sort of adversity.
There's been a disconnect between what we the reader view as logical and what has been occurring in BM because we(like Isagi at one point) haven't taken into account the characters goals, or as Isagi would put it, their sense of protaginism. The stunt Yuki pulled in the Manshine game makes sense once you realize no one had passed to Yuki at all the entire game and he likely deduced no one would pass to him in the future. With this in mind, he came to the conclusion the best way to get the ball was to steal it from a teammate, a player who would expect it the least. Now the dribbling past six players to score was definitely wishful thinking, but everything leading up to it wasn't irrational.
This whole arc has had me questioning whether or not BM is really a team of logic or even it Noa is a good or even logical coach. But when you give it a little thought, every player has made decisions based on logic, even if it's motivated by emotion.

A lot of new fans are curious as to which order they should start watching the show, because they want to watch the best seasons and avoid spoilers. While watching from the beginning and making up your own mind would make sense in theory, true fans know that a complicated, nonsensical approach is the only way to really enjoy the show. As a fan who has been watching since the first season aired in 2000, it's unfortunate that I had no choice but to watch chronologically in real time. If I were fortunate enough to get struck with a blow to the head so hard that I lose my memory, this is the order in which I would watch Survivor:

1. Nicaragua (21) - You have to start with an HD season.
2. Heroes vs. Villains (20) - You've earned it.
3. Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers (35) - This way you can weigh in on the eternal fan debate of which Heroes tribe is more iconic, the one with Rupert and Cirie or the one with Katrina and JP.
4. Cagayan (28) - A lot of people think that Joe from HvHvH is the store brand version of Tony, but by watching in the correct order, you will see that Tony is in fact a retread of Joe.
5. South Pacific (23) - If you thought Coach was entertaining in HvV, you'll love seeing him here. If you thought Ozzy was entertaining in Cook Islands, then you have failed to follow the proper watch order. May God have mercy on your soul.
6. Winners at War (40) - It would be foolish to spoil the winners of 21 other seasons before you've seen them. By waiting to watch WaW 6th, you will only spoil the winners of 17 other seasons.
7. Ghost Island (36) - This season references a lot of memorable mistakes made by Survivor players. Watching Ghost Island means those moments won't catch you off guard when you eventually see them.
8. Caramoan (26) - This season includes Erik, who you'll recognize as one of the most prominent people featured in Ghost Island.
9. Micronesia (16) - It's time to see how Erik's mistake really went down. You've earned it.
10. Blood vs. Water (27) - See Colton quit for the second time.
11. Millennials vs. Gen X (33) - If you like David, don't worry, he comes back.
12. David vs. Goliath (37) - Surprisingly not in this season though.
13. All-Stars (8) - I was so hyped to watch this as the 8th season in 2004. I can only imagine how exciting it would be to watch it as the 13th season in 2024 having not seen any of the seasons that came before it. Don't make the same mistake I did.
14. Fiji (14) - This is the only season that aired in the exact position it's meant to be watched. An amazing coincidence.
15. One World (24) - See Colton......get medevaced???? Twist!!
16. Guatemala (11) - #16. Why not?
17. Palau (10) - In theory, Guatemala is a follow-up season to Palau, and the story makes a lot more sense when you know that Stephenie was really popular the first time she played. But she's a lot easier to root for in Palau so emotionally it's more satisfying to watch it after.
18. Edge of Extinction (38) - This is when David comes back. Your patience has paid off. There are three other returning players here who you haven't seen yet, but let me reiterate: this is the correct order. I'm not going to apologize for it.
19. Game Changers (34) - There are 20 returning players here, and you've seen 13 of them already. This season will offer concrete evidence that the other 7 are game-changing players in their earlier seasons. Players like Hali, Sierra, and Caleb may not seem very impactful when you get around to watching their first seasons, so watching Game Changers keeps you from making the incorrect assumption that they are not in fact among the most important players in Survivor history.
20. Cook Islands (13) - Candice is......not really a hero? The twists keep coming!!!
21. Samoa (19) - Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad that this racist Ben guy wasn't on Cook Islands? That would have been a disaster!
22. Thailand (5) - You've earned it.
23. Vanuatu (9) - Ok, you didn't hear this from me, but you can actually swap this season with the next one and it'll be totally fine.
24. Marquesas (4) - Shhhh.
25. 44
26. 41
27. 42
28. 43 - These last four seasons are all pretty much the same.
29. 45 - This is pretty much the same as the last four seasons except the episodes are longer.
30. Africa (3) - This is pretty much the same as the last five seasons, except it's not filmed in Fiji, it's 39 days long, there are no hidden immunity idols or advantages, there are two tribes, it doesn't have firemaking, there's a final 2, and the contestants don't always get along. Other than that, you won't notice much of a difference.
31. Redemption Island (22) - When this season aired, we had watched fan favorite Boston Rob lose three times, so seeing him win was a long time coming. By watching in the proper order, you've had the privilege of seeing him lose four times, so his win is 5% more impactful.
32. Tocantins (18) - It's an HD season with a pretty strong cast and relatively straightforward gameplay that a new viewer could easily follow. You'd think it would be a lot higher up on the watch order. You're wrong.
33. Borneo (1) - Yes, historically, it's important blah blah blah. But honestly, after you've seen 32 seasons where alliances are a normal part of the game, this season's going to seem really elementary and slow-paced. Don't blame me, blame the watch order.
34. Panama (12) - You've probably been wondering all this time how a popular player like Cirie didn't make the cut for Winners at War. Now it's time to finally put your uncertainty to rest: it's because she didn't win any of her previous seasons, including this one. Isn't it so much more rewarding to find out this way?
35. Philippines (25) - I think by now you should have a pretty good sense of whether you like the show or not. You can stop after this one if it's not your thing.
36. Outback (2) - In 2001, we watched this season and thought Jerri was the villain, not Colby. Thankfully, a 2024 viewer will realize otherwise. The fact that every other cast member besides Amber found Jerri irritating and difficult to live with? That's irrelevant. Did you see Colby throw that bucket of water at her?
37. Island of the Idols (39) - Half the season is just text on a screen. "The producers are monitoring the situation," "something happened off-camera," etc. I watch TV so I don't have to read. That makes this season pretty hard to follow for me, so I don't know much about what happens in it. Otherwise it would probably be a lot higher, I'm sure it's pretty popular.
38. Kaoh Rong (32) - Look, we all know the real reason why anyone wants to start watching Survivor. You wanna see somebody die. This is the closest you're gonna get, sorry to say.
39. Cambodia (31) - Despite airing first, this was filmed after Kaoh Rong, so it only makes sense to watch them in filming order.
40. China (15) - If you finish this season and wonder, "Why did that have to be the 40th season in the watch order?" watch it again before you move onto the next one. Trust me on that, it will not make sense otherwise.
41. China (15) -You know what, I'm just going to assume you'll need to watch it again.
42. Worlds Apart (30) - This one defin--
43. China (15) - Yep, you got two episodes into Worlds Apart and you have no idea what the fuck is going on. Watch China again.
44. Worlds Apart (30) - This one definitely do--
45. China (15) - Are you fucking serious? Can you get more than six episodes into Worlds Apart without needing China to explain everything to you again?
46. Worlds Apart (30) - Alright, now do you see what I mean? You got through it. Proud of you.
47. 46 - It's currently airing and almost finished, so you have about a week to get through all the previous seasons if you want to be caught up.
48. Pearl Islands (7) - Chronologically, this is the first season in which voted-out players return to the game. In the proper watch order, it's the last one. Sometimes I think about that in the shower.
49. Gabon (17) - Is this 46 2.0?
50. San Juan del Sur (29) - You've earned it.
51. The Amazon (6) - This is one of the most exciting and unpredictable seasons of all time. It's absolutely fantastic. However, Rob makes a lot of comments that haven't aged well, so it is at the bottom of the list.

I've never had a good opportunity to sit down and do a run through TTWL. I'd played a couple hours in the past, but never really made it the game I was going to play. Well, I've now spent about two weeks playing it in my spare time. I'm at or just after the Wastard boss fight, which is pretty close to the end of the main story. I've been doing some side quests, but I've wanted to unlock gear slots so I've been sticking to the main quest.
Overall, I am having fun. The good:

1. The game is fun. The enemies are fun to fight. Flying enemies are a bit annoying, but they're kept pretty rare. I like how chaotic combat feels.
2. I like that they made melee combat repeat by holding the button down. You don't have to mash that button anymore. 100% that should always be there going forward.
3. I like the idea of armor, rings, amulets, and melee weapons being drops. That's cool. I kinda wish armor actually gave you armor, though.
4. The story is fine. I appreciate the TTRPG jokes.
5. Setting is cool. A fantasy world that feels true to TTRPG settings and as goofy as Borderlands likes to be.
6. Voice acting is great. Villain is great. Tina is great. Other players are... whatever. I like Wanda Sykes even if her character is meh.
7. Enemy variety is good. Talking skeletons are hilarious. Goblin "tricksters" in barrels are fun even if their ram attack has too much knockback.

However, I've got some criticisms. I'm wondering if I'm the only one to notice these. Most of these are small, but... there's so many little things that together I think TTWL is easily my least favorite game. It's like a death of 1,000 cuts. No huge glaring issues. Just things that tell you they didn't put as much care into Wonderlands. The game is undercooked. The bad:

1. There aren't really mechanics around melee combat. You just hold down melee, and then try to keep the enemy on screen. There are talents that make you better and the weapons often feel satisfying, but overall melee doesn't feel very deep for how important it seems to be.
2. Melee interrupting and resetting reload animations feels awful. Reload animations feel relatively long in WL, and if you miss the timing a little bit because some mob is eating your face that you want to finish off, you have to start the whole thing over. I really, really hate it.
3. The classes are kinda underwhelming. They remind me of BL1 classes more than anything. The ability trees are kinda dull; mostly static mods that don't do a whole lot plus a few kill skills. The action skills just feel like unique spells unless it's a pet, but the number of spells waters them down a lot. Having two classes is a great idea, but... it's not transformative gameplay like the BL3 classes were. Ability scores in particular feel lazy.
4. The way encounters work in instances really sucks. Instead of organically approaching an area, you're dumped into a combat arena. There aren't enough maps, either, or they get reused way too much. Instead of knowing where the enemies are and where safety is, they teleport in around you so you're constantly surrounded. Surrounded by melee enemies that will happily mob you and pin you in a corner. That might be realistic, but it's sure as shit ain't fun in an FPS. It's a good thing that snipers seem mostly terrible because there's so many encounters where they won't do anything. Need to run away and reload? The game will helpfully teleport enemies in front of you! And god help you if you die during the third stage of one of these instanced dungeons because you get to do all three of those fights again!
5. OK, it's a little thing, but when you complete an overworld shrine they don't activate on their own. You have to go back and activate them. Why? Why isn't finding all 4 parts good enough? And why are the bonuses so boring? Faster walking on the overworld? 10% more XP? These... suck. They feel like, "We nerfed you from baseline so we could find rewards to give back to you!"
6. The overworld likes to steal or lock your camera controls in certain areas. No. Bad. Stop that.
7. Map navigation on PC is fucked, too. You have to drag the reticle on the map to select things. The mouse just isn't used as a pointing device. Oh, but if you accidentally have the mouse where the list of travel locations are going to be on the UI when you open the map, well, then the map will automatically refocus to that spot instead of where you are. Want to refocus on yourself? Too bad. The easiest way to do that is to move the mouse to the right side of the screen then close and re-open the map.
8. The enemies feel... bizarrely bullet spongey. Worse, quite a lot of them just charge at you and melee. Even with an FOV of 105+, it's obnoxious simply because it's hard to see what is going on. I want the option of switching to third person camera.
9. So many enemies randomly have immunity shields, too, where you have to wait until you can attack them. That's maybe fine for an area boss, especially when they flood the boss arena with adds or do a phase change, but it's bullshit that a mook pirate with a ship's wheel as a "shield" just takes no damage or that the miniboss has a 15s immunity shield on a 20s cooldown. It's not overpowered. It's boring. I'm reminded of EgoRaptor's Ocarina of Time video: "There is so much goddamn waiting"
10. There's a lot of enemies that explode randomly when they die or have damage zones that persist after they die (sometimes from your own elemental weapons!). This has the knock-on effect of sometimes you win a combat, but then the last enemy explodes or drops a poison pool and that knocks you out. It feels very cheap and bullshitty in solo play whenever BL knocks you out after all the enemies die, and WL seems uniquely good at doing that to reset your progress by denying a Death Save.
11. The character creator doesn't really work. You get 5,000 sliders for the head and face, but they don't seem to do a whole lot. More oddly, there are only two body types, and they're kind of fixed based on class. You're a stabbomancer. Want your character to be a waifish girl assassin? Well, too bad. That's not possible. You either look like a kind of buff male wrestler or a kind of buff female wrestler. It feels like it misses the point entirely.
12. So many guns have slow projectile speeds or arcing projectiles that the gunplay really suffers. Certain weapons (magic blast shotguns and explosive lobbers) feel like they don't do the damage they're rated for, and the range of impact on the target is both extreme and too varied. Some weapons just have no effect at all. Others have huge knockback... but only sometimes. Both of these feel like they harm the quality of gunplay.
13. The loot feels like it sucks. It's too time consuming to go through it all, especially with the stupid inventory still being the same as it was in BL2. Like the rings and amulets don't feel like they do a lot unless you get a god drop, so it's hard to compare them.
14. The non-weapon class modifiers feel lazy and nebulous. "+10% Stabbomancer power." OK, great. I'm a stabbomancer. 10% of what now? Just my active skill? Every skill or talent? And the Epics have two classes chosen at random. So there's about a 1 in 20 chance that the game will drop loot with mods for both my actual classes, and about a 50% chance that it will have neither of them. Most non-weapon drop drops are automatically trash loot for you. But you had best pick it all up to sell, because....
15. Why are the SDUs so goddamn expensive? In fact, why is everything so goddamn expensive? If you want to buy something from the vending machine it's going to be 50% or more of your funds. I remember saving up to be able to afford maybe one thing from the vending machine in the future. That's steady throughout the whole game for me. SDUs are just a further drain.
16. Dark element seems too good. Like I just always keep a dark element weapon on me now because it's basically the only active way to heal. You can either find potions on the ground (why can't I carry them?) or use a vending machine to heal (which I don't think I've done since BL1) or explode a healing barrel or I can use a dark weapon. That's it. Oh, I suppose you might get a drop with 0.5% heal per second on it, but whatever. I get that lightning is good vs ward, poison is good vs armor, fire is good vs flesh, and ice is good vs bone. But dark is the only way to extend survivability, really. Mainly because running away is often impossible (instanced encounters).
17. The default keyboard layout is total garbage now, and I think it's because melee is important. WASD. E use. R reload. 1-4 weapons. Space is jump. F spell and G skill (or vice versa). H another skill sometimes. LCtrl slide and crouch and slam. Q is tag (I think?). C weapon mode. V is melee? Really? Why is such an important key there? It doesn't feel like they actually planned any of this out. I know it's the exact same layout as BL3, but the gameplay is much different. It's really annoying in ways I didn't expect. Why does it feel like there was just no thought put into how making melee important might prompt changes to the key layout? It just feels like every character is as input heavy as BL3's Zane, and it's because they didn't really think about anything.
18. This has been a constant issue for me since Borderlands 2 (in BL1 it felt appropriate). Since they keep making this thoughtless design mistake I'm going to keep bringing it up. Why do they keep starting you off with only 2 weapon slots? Why does gear drop that I can't even equip? Why are gear slots locked at all if you can just level-gate drops from some categories? It's a looter shooter focused on switching weapons and gear frequently! Let me use the loot that drops and let me use more weapons! This is a shitty progression mechanic, and it feels even worse here. I think I found my first ring 4-5 levels before I could actually equip it. I'd found two epic rings before I could even equip one.

I'm not going to give up on the game because in spite of all that it is often fun. But I think this is the worst BL game. Which is a shame because Tiny Tina's Assault on Dragon Keep is probably the top tier for Borderlands, IMO.

A friend of mine started playing Fates for the first time, so once again I got bitten by the “complaining about Fates” bug. In particular, watching chapter 18 of Conquest again after so many years really got me going, and while the general consensus I’ve seen online about this chapters writing was negative, I wasn’t that satisfied by any of the overviews of it I read. I decided to give it a shot myself.
Dissecting why something doesn’t work is fun and all, but I think it’s also important to be constructive which is why I wanted to rewrite this chapter alongside my criticisms. I really do think there’s a lot of potential here that could have been the highlight of the entire story, and so I’d love to try my hand rewriting this chapter to be what it could have been rather than what we got. I have most of it done already, but Reddit only has so many characters before it cuts you off and this post is plenty long enough as is, so I’ll save that for another part coming up soon. This will be part 1, explaining what the chapter is and elaborating on my issues with it, while part 2 will be rewriting it along with my thought process and explanations.
Recap: https://fireemblem.fandom.com/wiki/Black_%26_White/Script
Corrin and Co are traveling when they decide to rest for the night at the nation of Izumo. They are greeted by Izana, the archduke of the kingdom, who seems to be a real goofball. After introducing himself, the levity is ended when it’s revealed the entire Hoshidan family has been invited here as well! Before any swords can be undrawn, Izana tells both parties that the kingdom has a strict neutrality pact neither of them can violate.
The scene cuts to later, where Ryoma enters Corrin and Xanders room to talk with them. Xander and Ryoma’s argument is cut short when Ryoma is dragged off by Nohrians. Turns out “Izana” is actually a Nohrian mage named Zola, who disguised himself to trick the Hoshidan royal family into a trap. Corrin and Xander don’t approve of such dishonorable methods to win, however, and fight to rescue their captives with Xander saying “we’ll win this war with honor or die trying”. After Leo kills Zola, the game cuts to later where we see Nohrians and Hoshidans alike having a meal, much to the delight of the real Izuma, who turns out is exactly as bizarre as the fake impression. Xander and Ryoma confirm with eachother that their fight will continue as usual, but Corrin states that no matter what happens they’re grateful they got to see both families eating together even if it’s not under the best circumstances, and the chapter ends with them saying they’ll revel in this feeling.
So on paper, I think this chapter is a great idea. Despite being at war, when one family is at the total mercy of the other, they lend a hand instead of kicking them while they’re down. This highlights how the two nations could accomplish so much together if only they weren’t at war with eachother. If utilized well, this could have been a great “eye of the tornado scene” emphasizing how tragic it is that these two families who share so much in common are forced by fate to fight eachother, making it all the more sorrowful when that’s brought to it’s conclusion through bloodshed. This would also encourage Conquest players to buy Birthright in a natural and subtle way as well now that they’ve had a nice sample of the other side. Of course, I don’t think this chapter was utilized well, and after reading the script again I believe it boils down to three major problems.
-Problem 1: The Lack of Worldbuilding Causes the Conflict to be Driven by Contrivances.
This is one of the many instances where the lack of fleshing out the world and it’s rules out really hampers the weight of the scenes. Unlike Awakening where there was a general cause-and-effect outlining the level structure, all of the Fates routes are much more individual and self-contained when it comes to chapters. This means the game has to really stretch itself to justify this elaborate setup being brought up and solved in one single chapter of regular length, and it’s very apparent when you write out the summary of events here.
Corrin and his army are just walking by when they happen upon the capital of the country. Corrin decides this would be a great place to rest for the night at and are instantly welcomed by its leader, who is also the only person in the game of that country. The entire Hoshidan family also just happen to bump into us because they coincidently came here at roughly the same time, with somehow neither party noticing the other until they were staring at eachother in the same room.
The only thing we know about this new nation we’ve never seen or heard about before is that it’s a peace-loving land with some sort of neutrality pact which means the two nations can’t fight here. What is the importance of this place that would entice all the Hoshidan royals to come over for a banquet in the middle of their country being invaded? Never explained. What exactly is this pact and what power does Izuno have to enforce it, if any? Never explained. Xander, prince of a nation at war and frontline general, has never heard of it. How does Garon or Iago never figure out or look into what happened here, considering the royals walked through their trap unharmed and everybody in charge of the trap vanished? Never brought up.
How many times here was this supposedly major event dependent on coincidences, seemingly important details left completely unexplained, and characters not knowing things that should be basic information of the world they live in? Things like all this quickly build up and make the world feel small scale and artificial, as if nothing truly exists until it’s in the peripheral vision of main characters. In a vacuum, this could all be excusable if the main meat of the chapter was just so dense and important that they just want a convenient excuse to delve into it. But about that…
-Problem 2: Nothing happens, either character-wise or plot-wise.
This is the only scene in both Birthright and Conquest where all eight of the royal families are together in one spot, and they’re unable to fight eachother. What a brilliant idea! How many great scenes could you come up with from this setup alone? How many directions could this move towards?

-The families bonding over their memories with Corrin (X)
-Calling eachother out for uncool actions, like Ryoma refusing to help Elise or Nohr siccing monsters on farming villages (X)
-Working together to defeat some threat they’d have trouble taking down on their own (X)
-Some cultural exchange (X)
-Some melancholy scene where, even if there’s a lot of resentment, they acknowledge how this may be the last time they ever get to have a meal with Corrin. (Somewhat?)
-Corrin sits down and has a mature conversation with his birth family elaborating on their choice to stay with Nohr (X)
-Some negotiation or debate between the two families about the future of their countries relationship, successful or not (X)
-Corrin being formally declared by the Hoshidan royals as a Nohrian, officially cutting them out of the family (X)

So what does Conquest do with this prompt? It does the unexpected route where all of them but Ryoma are shuffled out as soon as they’re introduced, captured offscreen, rescued offscreen, most of their dinner is offscreen, finishing their meal and leaving is offscreen, all of them sans Ryoma have barely any dialog, and none of them are even present in any of the CG’s.
We actually start off strong, Ryoma and Xander naturally puff out their chest and don’t get along when they’re in the same room, but seem to calm down when Corrin elaborates on how similar they are to eachother. But the game is so eager to get to fighting that it drags Ryoma away kicking and screaming before he even gets to share what he had to say to Corrin, let alone explore what having common ground means to the two of them.
1) I understand this is the Nohrian route so it makes sense the focus is mostly on them, but Takumi only gets three lines here, one of which is “…” Hinoka also only gets three lines, which I think is still more than she got in Birthright, and two of those lines are “You!” and “What are you doing here?”. Sakura lucks out as she’s the only sibling on either side who has anything to say whatsoever when Corrin says they’re grateful they could share another meal with the Hoshidans. That’s a start, but the fact remains Ryoma is the only sibling in the chapter whose remotely relevant, the rest could be omitted and nothing would change. They are only here to be damsels in distress heightening the stakes of defeating the local bad guy rather than providing any character development, checking up on how they are doing without Corrin and Azura, comparing and contrasting their differences between their counterparts, sharing any new information about them, foreshadowing Takumi’s possession, any notable interactions with their counterparts, etc. But no, nothing happens.
2) I also understand this is a video game and they don’t have all the time in the world before the next fight has to happen, yet Conquest is oddly completely uninterested in it’s own set-up. Zola, a minor chapter boss introduced and killed in this chapter, has more screentime and relevance here than any of the siblings, something you’d think would be the actual meat of the chapter they’d want to delve into.
The implications and weight of two dueling nations and families obligated to pause their fighting and dine with eachother could easily take up two or even three chapters as a pivotal arc, yet it’s completely blazed through as if the game considered it a cute novelty rather than a potential life-changing or history-changing moment. Simply put, it’s wasted potential, as if to say “Oh both of the two families meeting in a game about choosing between mutually exclusive families? Eh whatever.”
I wanna stick with just this chapter and not rewrite a good chunk of the entire story, but I can’t stress enough that in any other game this chapter would be the plot-defining moment paving the new way forward rather than chapter 15’s “we’ll expose Garon as a monster by helping him invade an innocent people.”
Neither of the two families are fighting because they outright want to, this isn’t a war about irreconcilable differences or mutually exclusive goals, the only reason for any conflict whatsoever as far as the game has shown us is that the guy in charge of Nohr is a sociopath who threatens to kill his own children at the drop of a hat. Sure, they probably won’t hold hands singing kumbaya after one extended conversation with eachother, but when all of them are in a truce far away from Garon’s authority having a meal together, nothing significant comes out of it plot-wise?
In fact, at the end of the day what significance happened here at all?

• -We learned about a new country, but we know very little about it and (other than Izama potentially joining the party later) absolutely none of it will be relevant after this chapter anyways.
• -Well, maybe this place is just set dressing so we have an excuse to meet up with our siblings again, but then nobody has any meaningful interactions, new info to share, planning ahead, or character development resulting from sharing scenes with them.
• -Then is the primary focus supposed to be on how this situation affects the Nohrian family? The antagonist and the conflict he brings is introduced and quickly solved without any consequences, with all the siblings instantly in agreement about stopping him. They don’t really talk amongst eachother about their feelings or how to go forward.

If there’s no juicy character interactions or exploration, and no setting up future events, then presumably the point of this big moment of Corrin and Xander leaping to save their enemies was made to show off that despite working in the same army, our heroes are indeed better than the swarms of war criminals under Nohr’s name we’ve seen and would never tolerate such things under normal circumstances. They’ve talked the talk about disagreeing with their father’s cruel methods, now here’s proof they’ll walk the walk, aren’t they such noble people? The way this is done however, opens up another can of worms…
-Problem 3: Protags come off as dicks
While our heroes are indeed more likeable and moral than blatant monsters like Garon and Hans, liking peace and disliking war crimes is not enough of a reason for a pat on the back. Our protags might not be burning villages for fun, but it’s difficult to take their proclaimed goal of peace seriously considering both the context of working for people who DO burn villages for fun and they way they handle themselves when presented with an opportunity to work on this supposed goal.
Corrin and Azura

• This is not seeing things under the worst possible interpretation to be a stick in the mud, Nohr is indeed invading Hoshido for no apparent reason and leaving war crimes wherever it’s armies go. Everybody in the building is aware of this to some extent.
  
• Azura and Corrin’s grand plan to expose Garon as a slime monster to his family indeed involves directly helping Garon conquer Hoshido, which they acknowledge will bring destruction and suffering that the nation and royal family have done nothing to deserve.
  
• Corrin and Azura are indeed presented with a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity here to sit down behind closed doors and communicate anything, just anything significant at all, to the royal family that still seems to value them, but our heroes don’t even try or seem to acknowledge that. Corrin doesn’t have any interactions with them that last more than a sentence or two, and Azura is never acknowledged nor speaks to them.
  
• And yet despite, all this, both Corrin and Azura are quite pleased with the turn of events here, with Corrin acknowledging they’ll “probably try to kill eachother next time they see eachother” but that they’ll “revel in this feeling.”
  

Azura in particular is problematic here. During Odovakar 's excellent overview of the problems with Fates writing, he goes into detail about how Azura’s line about “this is all quite heartwarming. We're like one big family...albeit, a dysfunctional one.” in particular comes off as incredibly tone deaf and tasteless given the circumstances of Azura and Corrin marching on one family’s homeland for the sake of the other family. What I think was also worth noting is the context leading up to that line…

Sakura: I was just, um...th-thinking...it's really nice to finally see you again. I'm glad you... I'm glad you f-found a way to be happy... Corrin: Sakura... I'm happy to see you too. Sakura: R-really? You mean it?! Oh, Corrin! Elise: HMPH! Back off, you! He/She's my brothesister! MINE! Sakura: Ah! I'm s-sorry! Corrin: Elise! Mind your manners, little one. Elise: But she's trying to take you away from me... She's my archnemesis

Whether intentional or not, this is actually a very clever microcosm of the family’s conflict acted out by the youngest and most innocent among them who probably weren’t even born when the conflict started. The Hoshidan loves their sibling, but their time with Corrin is interrupted by the Nohrian shoving them away and declaring Corrin for themselves. This is a great way to challenge our protags to some introspection about themselves.

Azura: Heehee! Corrin: Azura? Did you just...giggle?

Instead, Azura just finds this a real knee-slapper. I understand maybe this is just meant to be a cute image of imoutos fighting over oni-chan Corrin and nothing more, but the context makes it very hard to swallow the narrative’s insistence that all this is “heartwarming” as Azura puts it. Keep in mind that all the Hoshidan nobles are sitting at the same table watching all this. Do you think Ryoma also finds it funny that his little sister is scared off and declared an archnemesis by the daughter of the man who killed his father in cold blood? Do you think Hinoka also thinks it's like one big dysfunctional family when Corrin is preparing to march on her homeland with an army?
I get it, I totally know what they were going for, and in a vacuum it could be a great line making for a properly bittersweet moment. “Even if the two are at eachothers throats and the future is bleak, me and Azura are grateful we get to have at least one big normal dinner together like a real family.”
But the future is bleak because of Corrin and Azura participating in an invasion, the families are at eachothers throats partially because Corrin and Azura haven’t accomplished anything to reform Nohr. If anything, Corrin should feel great shame here. Elise just unintentionally reenacted the history between the nations where Nohr was clearly in the wrong, and Corrin is sitting directly across and staring at the family who’ve done nothing wrong to him yet are going to be hurt because of Corrin’s decision. Grateful they could spend time with them again? Maybe. But cheerful and laughing?

ProZD: D-did an alien write this game? blows gently

But at least Corrin doesn’t show outright contempt for the family they’re screwing over…
Xander and Leo

Xander: Corrin! There's no need to insult me like that. I could not possibly be anything like this sorry excuse for a prince. … Xander: We will win with honor or die trying. Come, Corrin. Let us go set free our sworn enemy. … Corrin: Heh, sorry... It's just that you and Ryoma really are so much alike. If you weren't on opposite sides of a war, I think you could have been great friends. Xander: Yeesh... Do me a favor and keep that nonsense in your head where it belongs. … Xander (to Ryoma): We only acted as Nohrian royals should. When we leave this place, you'll be nothing but an enemy to be defeated once more.

Okay, but why? Ryoma is not the one Xander overheard laughing to himself about how much he’s going to make Corrin suffer. How are the Hoshidan royals “nothing but enemies to be defeated” here when they’re just trying to defend their homeland from somebody who assassinated their king at a peace meeting? Where is all this contempt from Xander coming from?
It’s perfectly understandable he doesn’t get along super well with Ryoma because of the tensions between their nations, that makes sense, but I see no reason for why Xander is making several petty insults to his face unprompted, let alone so nonchalant and even somewhat eager to get back to waging a war Xander himself calls “a senseless war of greed and madness” in the epilogue.
He doesn’t treat his own people much better this chapter, declaring Zola and his henchmen as “traitors” to be “dealt with” for their dishonorable methods when ironically Zola taking over the country by disguising himself as the archduke is actually one of the least evil and self-destructive things we’ve seen the kingdom do so far. It must be emphasized that every sibling was in the same room watching Garon demand Xander kill Corrin if he interferes with killing POWs for his amusement, and half of them were in the same room when Garon ordered his henchmen to murder every singer they can find in a neutral country. So a few hundred or thousand innocent people, most of whom would presumably be young woman, murdered to snuff out potential assassins. Or Garon directly ordering the deaths of unarmed civilians in chapter 13 with Hans relaying “Villagers are just soldiers who haven’t picked up a sword yet.”
Xander talks a big game in this chapter about how “we’ll win this war with honor or die trying”, but how do you honorably win a war when your nation is constantly and openly rushing to pointless overkill brutality like this at every turn? What moral high ground does this country have that Xander is so determined to preserve he kills loyal soldiers over what he sees as sullying it, when at no point in the game does the influence of Nohr ever do anything but make life significantly worse? His sudden fervor towards doing the right thing is completely contrasted later on when Xander is the one telling Corrin there’s no justice to be found in war and you just gotta do what you gotta do rather than what’s morally right, in response to Corrin being upset the Nohrian army is killing woman and children who looked at them funny.

“Justice is an illusion, a fairy tale…Letting innocents die is a tragedy, but so is letting the chance for peace slip away. This is war. There is no such thing as a clean win when lives are on the line.”

“Justice is just a fairy tale, innocent people getting screwed over is something we have to accept in war because there’s no such thing as a clean win! But also we better win this senseless war of greed and madness with honor or die trying!”

• If “justice is an illusion”, how is killing Nohrian soldiers to free people who are apparently “nothing but enemies to be defeated” so you can fight them later on terms you prefer, directly prolonging a war which will lead to much more deaths on both sides, for the benefit of Nohr? By Xanders own logic, is this not letting the chance for peace slip away since there’s no such thing as a clean win? Forget Garon and Iago, I’m confident the citizens back home whose loved ones got conscripted would be the ones demanding his head if they found out about this. A very charitable interpretation is that ending the war this specific way will cause more chaos and fighting in the long-term compared to if they conquered and oppressed an innocent nation fair and square, but that’s nowhere to be found in the script whatsoever.
  
• If Xander believes in “We’ll win this war with honor or die trying”, why is he still following Garon? Garon is winning the war in part thanks to honorless and extreme acts of cruelty like blackmailing the Ice Tribe or making an example out of Scarlet’s body, yet instead of taking action against him like he does with Zola, Xander is instead the most loyal sibling to him to the point Corrin decides the best way to get him on his side is to expose Garon as a literal slime monster? Where’s Xander’s zeal of “Come Corrin, let’s go save our sworn enemies” when his father orders Hans is go through killing injured and surrendering foes who were promised they be spared? Where’s his conviction shown here about “not letting treachery go unpunished” when his father outright says he couldn’t care less about the welfare of his people and he’ll just kill anybody who complains to make an example?
  

I understand one might get the impression I’m going off topic or selectively picking and choosing quotes here from all over the game, but no matter how you look at it Xanders beliefs, morality, and priorities are just all over the place depending on what the plot needs him to do. This means not only is his motivation for helping his enemies here faulty no matter how you look at it, but it also makes the extreme lengths he goes to do so, killing his own subjects who won him victory on a silver platter because it wasn’t a “proper” victory, come off as baselessly self-righteous at best and outright cruel at worst.
I’m sure the game would assure us Zola and all his mooks are terrible people who had it coming, but the issue is no matter how virtuous you portray Xander and creepy you portray Zola, Xander is still directly managing the war for a megalomaniac and helping him achieve his goals in spite of his long history of open sadism and public crimes that make Zola look like a saint. By ignoring the clear root cause of Nohr's dishonor while going this hard against random goon's participating in dishonor, instead of being a gallant preserver of morals, he comes off like a bully who selectively picks and choices punishment.
On the topic of punishment, it particularly rubs me the wrong way how Leo just casually mercs Zola at the end, keep in mind Birthright confirms for all his faults he actually isn’t a complete monster like Garon and dies trying to help the protag.

Leo (smiling portrait): You’d probably rather die than live with the shame, correct? In that case…
Zola: Eek! No, please! M-m-milord... I was wrong! S-so wrong! I have seen the error of my ways! P-please...spare my unworthy life!!
Leo (still smiling): Make peace with it, Zola. Perhaps on the other side you will find forgiveness.

Leo makes a fair argument that the stakes are too high and Zola can’t be trusted not to snitch, but this is bit sadistic, no? One of the most powerful people in the country is smug and sarcastic as he’s getting ready to execute somebody whose bleeding on the ground begging for his life and genuinely confused as to why we’re upset with him. I know the intent of “I was wrong! I have the seen the error of my ways!” is supposed to be him saying whatever Leo wants to hear to weasel out of punishment, but that’s exactly the thing, he’s fully cooperating and doing everything he can to appease this guy. And then he’s just killed like a dog without trial or final words, presumably using the spell that skewers you with tree branches.
Didn’t the game use killing defeated foes like this to establish Garon as a bloodthirsty monster? Why is Corrin just standing there watching this happen? This exact same scenario in Birthright has them jump to spare Zola, but here their disapproval is very meek and only voiced after the deed is already done. It’s still apparently too much for Leo though, who chastises Corrin for being “too soft…I envy your innocence.” And then he declares the matter settled on their behalf.
I’m sure this scene was meant to show off Leo’s pragmatism and strategy skills, but it just makes him look like a sociopath and Corrin look spineless. And that’s the biggest issue with this chapter to me, more than the plot being driven by contrivances that aren’t explained or the lack of any character development or interesting scenes taking advantage of the setup, the actions and dialog of our protags don’t match the noble heroes the narrative insists they are:

• Corrin is openly enjoying spending time with innocent people they’re throwing under the bus so Corrin won’t have to risk their relationship with the Nohrian siblings by directly fighting Garon. They then clearly disapprove of Leo executing a surrendering foe begging for mercy but stand idle watching it happen.
• Azura sits directly across her former family who’ve been very negatively impacted by her decisions and actions, and will continue to be so in the future, yet she’s giggling about the conflict and doesn’t seem to be taking the fact that her two families might kill each other seriously.
• Xander insults Ryoma as a sorry excuse for a prince, and afterwards kills his own subjects to prolong a war of aggression so it can be won the way he personally wants it to be won.
• Leo seems to be having a good time killing somebody who’s surrendered and begging for his life. He then chides Corrin for being “too soft” when they wish that didn’t have to happen.
• And again, for no apparent reason, neither Corrin or Azura do the bare minimum to clue to the Hoshidans about what’s going on or even have a meaningful conversation with them despite claiming to care for them. This is the golden opportunity they were hoping for, yet they apparently spend the entire dinner instead talking to eachother about how happy they themselves are.

These are not the actions of heroic characters.
Summary: Overall, this is a very bizarre chapter. It feels like something meaningful happens here at first glance, your brain sees what’s going on and knows that this is supposed to be a huge moment. Peaceful music playing, a very well-drawn CG of dozens of individual units, liberating a country from Nohrian control, Corrin and Azura are happy and say some lines that sound like they should be deep and impactful.
But when you step back and analyze the bigger picture and context, you find that more or less embodies all of Fates writing, both good and bad. It has a brilliant premise that gets your mind going, excellent presentation to accompany it, and some individual scenes or dialogue in a vacuum are very welcome. If you’re a casual player who just wants context for your favorite characters fighting, it’s easy to feel satisfied at first glance and move on thanks to those factors, especially since the gameplay and MyCastle are very fun. At the same time, there’s no denying the severe flaws that hamper the experience.
Despite being the hyped-up main draw of the chapter, our exciting premise that opens so many doors is almost completely neglected in favor of (once again) exposition on meaningless settings and characters that aren’t relevant anywhere else and also reminding us how evil Nohr is, to the point the chapter title is Black and White. The context makes it very difficult to take the plight of our heroes seriously due to their lack of action (both before and in the present) to achieve their proclaimed goal despite ample opportunity, the proaction they do have being unnecessarily extreme and self-serving, and a narrative that insists they are in the right at every turn despite the results clearly showing us otherwise. There’s definitely bits and pieces of something great buried in all this teasing us, otherwise I wouldn’t be interested enough to write this much all these years later, but as is it’s just a mess. An enjoyable mess, but a mess all the same.

But what do you guys think of Conquest Chapter 18: Black and White? Do you also consider it a wreck, or was there something positive here you believed I missed? What would you like to see in a potential rewrite of it?

An issue I've begun to notice as more weapons have been introduced or changed, many simply are downgrades or are performing their role worse then other weapons. The Liberator Concussive is worse then the Pummeler, the Tenderizer is worse then the Liberator, the Breaker Spray&Pray is worse then the Breaker Incendiary, the Purifier is worse then the Scorcher, the Liberator Penetrator is worst then the Adjudicator, and so much more. The issue is that we have too many weapons performing the same role without diversifying these weapon enough to allow them to perform these roles differently then another. Why change the Exploding Crossbow to a "medium armor killer" type weapon when it offers nothing new that the Dominator, Slugger, and Eruptor already do to fulfil this role? Why change the Adjudicator to a medium armor penetration assault rifle when the Liberator Penetrator already exists? Why add the Tenderizer as a "assault rifle with a restrictive magazine but more stopping power" when that describes the role the Adjudicator already has? Too many weapons have been adjusted, added or changed, causing overlap issues between many weapons, which in turn have weapons be outperformed rather then be a proper side-grade. I understand not wanting to have primary weapons be too powerful, but too many weapons have been made redundant by nerfs, buffs, and changes because of this. Therefore, I wanted to throw out my ideas for weapon changes/balancing. When I was considering weapon balancing, I had four goals:

1. Give each weapon a defined purpose and role
2. Make sure each weapon is an overall side-grade
3. Prioritize making new roles to avoid overlap
4. Try to have some slight realism

With this in mind, I came up with some ideas for all the assault rifles, as I feel like this category has the most issues compared to any other. Keep in mind that I'm 100% no game developer or expert on balancing, so do understand that the stats I came up with are just to give an overall idea and feel of how I think weapon should be, as I have no way to actually test or know if these numbers and ideas are balanced. Any feedback would be appreciated!
AR-23 Liberator

- Damage: 60 - Capacity: 45 - Recoil: 15 - Fire Rate: 640 - Light Armor Penetrating - 7 + 1 Mags - Role: All-around workhorse and baseline weapon 

Notes: The AR-23 Liberator in its current state serves as a perfect baseline when considering balance changes. Strong, reliable, accurate, ammo efficient, multiple firing modes and scope magnifications, it's everything a starter weapon should be and needs no additional changes.
AR-23P Liberator Penetrator

- Damage: 45 - Capacity: 30 - Recoil: 19 - Fire Rate: 640 - Medium Armor Penetrating - 10 + 1 Mags - Role: Takes down armored targets 

NEW STATS

- Damage: 55 - Capacity: 45 - Recoil: 28 - Fire Rate: 500 - Medium Armor Penetrating - 7 + 1 Mags - Reduced Ergonomics - New Role: Heavy assault rifle fitted with armor piercing rounds but has reduced fire rate and increased recoil 

Notes: Oh my poor baby boy, how Arrowhead has treated and abandoned you so. The AR-23P Liberator Penetrator is my favorite looking gun in the game, but from day one has been completely underpowered and underperforms in its role as a medium armor penetration assault rifle. Between its terrible damage, small capacity, and terrible efficiency, the weapon struggled against the competition and the only buff added was the addition to fire in full-auto, which barely did anything to change its lackluster performance. With these new changes, the Penetrator would now become a much stronger option compared to what it was then. First, we increase the damage and capacity to bring it up to it's standard counterpart, as there's no reason why it should have both a low capacity and the lowest damage per shot in the game. However to keep a bit of realism, we'll still have it be weaker as armor piercing rounds tend to have less stopping power for increased penetration power. And second, we give it increased recoil along with reduced fire rate, ergonomics, and spare ammo to compensate for these changes while also leaning into the heavy rifle design and new role it has. With these changes, the Penetrator is more closer to how the Adjudicator is and now should feel more like a side-grade to the standard Liberator, trading in crowd control for better performance against larger armored targets. It'll blast through the likes of Hive Guards, Brood Commanders, and Bile Spewers, but will struggle against groups of Hunters and Berserkers due to its lower fire rate and ergonomics.
AR-61 Tenderizer

- Damage: 60 - Capacity: 35 - Recoil: 10 - Fire Rate: 600 - Light Armor Penetrating - 10 + 1 Mags - Role: High-caliber assault rifle with a restrictive magazine but more stopping power 

NEW STATS

- Damage: 40 - Capacity: 60 - Recoil: 20 - Fire Rate: 720 - Light Armor Penetrating - 7 + 1 Mags - Slightly Reduced Ergonomics - New Role: Rapid-fire high capacity assault rifle with low damage and increased recoil 

Notes: This weapon is too similar to the original Liberator and desperately needs some adjustments. And with the new Penetrator changes from before, we now need to alter this weapons from it's original role to something that's missing from the assault rifles list. Enter the new AR-61 Tenderizer. This weapon is focused on one thing: throwing down as many bullets down range as fast as possible. With a massive capacity and increased fire rate, this weapon is the closest we'll get to having a primary LMG and should be thought of as the Breaker but in assault rifle form. The gun can handle larger crowds and can shred through light armored targets such as Berserkers, Nursing Spewers, Stalkers, and Warriors. However it will eat through ammo quickly, struggle against armored enemies, and isn't particularly precise so it'll be difficult to hit the weak points of certain enemies such as Devastators. It certainly won't replace a Stalwart, but you'll still get the lovely feeling of unloading a torrent of bullets upon the enemies of democracy all the same. It also doesn't replace the Breaker either, as while the Breaker can unload into a group indiscriminately and tear through hordes faster, the Tenderizer has better range and has more control over the area where their shots will land.
AR-23C Concussive

- Damage: 65 - Capacity: 30 - Recoil: 28 - Fire Rate: 320 - Light Armor Penetrating - 10 + 1 Mags - Role: Fires concussive rounds that do less damage but stagger enemies 

NEW STATS

- Damage: 55 - Capacity: 35 - Recoil: 28 - Fire Rate: 400 - Light Armor Penetrating - 9 + 1 Mags - Concussive rounds explosions have a small AOE, allowing for stagger of several enemies close together per shot - Explosions deal no damage and purely stagger. Helldivers hit by the concussive explosions will suffer from a depletion of stamina and a slow effect that fades after a few seconds - New Role: Fires concussive rounds at a slower fire rate that do less damage, but can stagger several enemies 

Notes: With the release of the new Pummeler SMG, the AR-23C Concussive has been made completely redundant in almost every way. Because of this, we have two options: nerf the Punisher or buff the Concussive. I choose the latter, and so this is what we get. As the concussive rounds are stated to do less damage, we'll first sightly nerf the damage to make this accurate. Second, we slightly increase the capacity and give a small bump to its fire rate to make it a bit more usable, while also taking away a spare mag to compensate. And now onto the big addition to differentiate it from the Punisher: AOE stagger. While the Punisher has higher damage and better single target capabilities, the new Concussive has lower damage but can hold off several enemies at once with AOE concussive rounds. This allows the Concussive to have two roles: A support role for your team that can slow the advance of groups of enemies, and a weapon that provides a safe but slow way of killing enemies when by yourself. Of course, the weapon isn't meant to hold back a bug breach or anything. The AOE is meant to be small and not be a "get out of jail free card". If your surrounded, you'll still die horribly and the AOE will cause an effect similar to the "Tremor" environmental effect when hitting yourself or allies with the concussive blast (depletion of stamina and slow effect that fades after a few seconds), but it can stagger a few of those Berserkers or Hive Commanders chasing after your friend to give them some breathing room, or hold back those two Stalkers sneaking up on your fellow Helldiver while they reload their Autocannon. It won't kill, but your fellow Helldivers will thank you when you save them from danger.
BR-14 Adjudicator

- Damage: 80 - Capacity: 25 - Recoil: 40 - Fire Rate: 550 - Medium Armor Penetrating - 7 + 1 Mags - Role: Accurate, medium armor penetrating rifle with limited effectiveness against large groups 

NEW STATS

- Damage: 90 - Capacity: 25 - Recoil: 40 - Fire Rate: 480 - Light Armor Penetrating - 7 + 1 Mags - Changed to Marksman Rifle Classification - Semi-auto/3-Round Burst only - New Role: Accurate, light armor penetrating rifle that trades damage for improved effectiveness against large groups 

Notes: The change to the BR-14 Adjudicator from a Marksman Rifle to a Assault Rifle never really sat well with me, especially because it ended up being everything the Penetrator was supposed to be and still wasn't great. In the real world, a battle rifle tend to sit somewhere between assault rifles and designated marksman rifles, though they usually are closer to marksman rifles. Notable examples are the FN FAL, M14, and Heckler & Koch G3. With this in mind, figuring out how to balance the rifle is a bit tricky. I wanted it to have higher single target damage then Assault Rifles to move it away from that role, while also having better crowd control then the Diligence to give it a new role the Marksman Rifle category lacks. First, we increase the damage and recoil slightly while reducing the fire rate to move it more towards being a marksman rifle. Second, we change it from medium armor penetration to light armor penetration. We don't want it to compete with the Penetrator or Counter Snipe, but instead want it to be a faster firing but lighter hitting option for the Marksman Rifle category. Finally, we remove the full auto firing option and replace it with a 3-round burst option as while there are battle rifles that do have a full auto setting in the real world, it's usually extremely impractical due to the immense recoil, though I'll admit keeping the full-auto feels like something that would be done in-universe. With these final changes, we now have true battle rifle that bridges the gap between assault rifles and marksman rifles. Want the crowd control of an assault rifle, but the high damage of a marksman rifle? This is the weapon for you.
SG-225SP Breaker Spray&Pray

- Damage: 192 (12 Damage per pellet) - Capacity: 26 - Recoil: 45 - Fire Rate: 330 - Light Armor Penetrating - 7 + 1 Magazines - 16 Pellets per shot - Role: High capacity shotgun firing birdshot 

NEW STATS

- Damage: 420 (12 Damage per pellet) - Capacity: 24 - Recoil: 40 - Fire Rate: 350 - Light Armor Penetrating - 6 + 1 Magazines - 35 Pellets per shot - Increased spread - Role: High capacity shotgun firing birdshot that was designed with "accuracy by volume of fire" in mind 

Notes: A fun little bonus addition to this list. The SG-225SP Breaker Spray&Pray is a bit notorious for being a direct downgrade from the Breaker Incendiary after it got buffed. Therefore, in the spirit of democracy and fun, I came up with these changes. In real life, bird shot is quite weak, has huge spread, and a single shell can have upwards of 70+ pellets in them to maximize the chances of hitting a bird in flight. While the idea would be really funny, having the game calculate the trajectory and impact of 70 individual projectiles from just one player would be a lot for the game to do, and each pellet would have to do around 5-6 damage each with an enormous spread to be balanced, so this is the next best thing I came up with. The new Spray&Pray is designed to litter a battlefield with a hail of pellets, encouraging the user to indiscriminately fire in whatever direction the enemy is in. It's inaccurate, will likely not land more then 6 pellets on the same target unless your up close, and will likely hit your allies if they're anywhere in the direction your firing, but that's the entire point. This is for the insane, the wacky, those who truly embody the chaotic nature of Helldivers and want a fun gun. You close your eyes, pull the trigger, and blindly fire into a bug breach knowing Lady Liberty guides your every shot.

Link for all the chapters available for free here: Engines of Arachnea on Royal Road
Deep in the groaning halls of sinew and bone he awaited his audience with the god. At a wave of his hand the ribs which held up the ceiling contracted, tendons shifting within the pink walls of the chamber as the jagged, calcareous spurs that composed the doorway sank back into the spongy masses of tissue, revealing a passage curving down and out of sight.
Menash stood before the yawning portal and considered eternity. This was no an idle thought: here in the Dawning Chamber, the concept was very real. His father, Yulan, had stood in this exact spot times beyond count. When he was struck down in his prime by the Night Weaver and her Leaper offspring, torn limb from limb as he fought to defend Chthonis from a raiding party, Menash’s uncle, Aqavarr, had carried his broken remains over that grinning threshold to join the hosts of the dead, never to return.
A hot and heavy exhalation rattled up out of the depths, wafting in the acrid scent of the bonding pools and the wet slithering sound of the rebirthing canals. Menash felt a crackle of static in the corners of his mind before the signal sharpened and he heard It whisper distinctly:
“Enter…”
The familiar dread crept its way up the small of his back, and he gave a little shiver. No matter how many times he had communed with the Vitalus, he’d never been able to shake the feeling of his utter insignificance. But he persevered, walking bravely down the slurping passage, past the rows of broad antechambers lining either side of the hallway. Each one held a slumbering shape immersed in a cryogenic bath, towering hulks of muscle encased in ribbed and riveted plates of chitin. No two were alike in size or physiology, but all seemed to emanate the same primeval aura of dread that tickled Menash’s fight-or-flight-instinct, skewing it very much towards the latter response. These were the Hollowores, soulless avatars of the Vitalus, each one a tool capable of eradicating an entire species. As Menash approached, one of the living weapons stirred to life. A pronged, anvil-shaped head emerged from the bath, umbilical feeder tubes detaching from its armored flanks as the rest of its bulk followed, its mauve exoskeleton as sleek and shiny as amethyst. The Hollowore extended legs as thick as grown pine trees and lifted itself above him, its pairs of crushing pincers dripping amniotic fluids as it herded him towards the central room.
Bundles of white gossamer filaments spread all across the floor, encircling steaming pools of pus and acid. He saw arms and legs, sensory organs and entire exoskeletons being knitted before his very eyes, the amino acid chains being stitched on a layer at a time, the weeping pus evidence of microphages fighting off possible infections as the Vitalus did Its work.
These were the next generation of exomorphs, yet to be assigned to their hosts. It was here that Vitalus constantly improved the only thing that could ensure the continued survival of Menash’s subspecies. Exomorphs were bonded to Gallivants at birth, the organisms supplying their hosts with the means to breathe an atmosphere they was never meant to endure, and the strength to fight in a world that was red in tooth and claw. They were as swift as the summer wind and could multiply their host’s muscular power by up to twelve times their natural output.
But for all their God-given might, Gallivants were still mortal. They could and often did perish in the endless struggle for existence that the Vitalus called the Great Game. But even in death they could still commit their essence to posterity, passing down their defining traits through the malleable genetic code of the gilt helix. It was the Vitalus’ greatest boon; through the gilt helix a single individual could become a progenitor of an entire generation, becoming at one stroke the father of whole nations and peoples.
One day he too would prove worthy of the honor that Yulan had earned with his life. But he was not alone in that ambition. Menash was annoyed to find the crimson-clad Vezda and the cowardly Racek waiting for him inside, standing next to a large ball of filaments that hung from a tonsil-like growth hanging from the walls.
This node pulsed, emitting a small storm of bioelectric activity, networks of fungi conveying commands in the form of oscillating voltages to their communities of symbiotic bacteria, the latter containing greigite mineral crystals aligned in the shape of electromagnetic coils. Other networks hidden in the walls modulated and amplified the signals, and the three Gallivants steeled themselves for the onrushing flood of information as the Vitalus tapped into their minds.
He was a candle before the raging heart of the thunderstorm. For an instant Menash touched a fraction of Its intelligence, the divisions of time and space rolling back as they joined the ocean of shared consciousness, becoming one with the living systems of Arachnea. From the tiniest aeroplankton floating above the waves of the golden coastlines, to the herds of ultrapods munching their way through swathes of trees in the savannahs. Menash felt himself pushing up out of the soil, longing and lusting and reaching for the sunlight with a trillion green fingers uncurling, alive with the furious movement of life.
But what was that flicker of orange to the east? That searing heat, that prickling pain spreading like a cancer down his side?
The Vitalus scooped them up and hurled them headlong into hell itself. A roaring wildfire was sweeping into the heart of the eastern rainforests. Menash tasted ash and ruin, felt pieces of himself wither and burn, his branches tongues of fire, wood cracking from the intense blaze, sap boiling instantaneously upon contact and rupturing, splitting him right down the grain. He fled in terror, running, slithering, digging, swimming, flying away in crazed panic from the walls of red death closing in on him. As his skin flaked off in clumps of charcoal he looked back and saw it towering over the treetops, the epicenter of this howling vortex of destruction: the grey behemoth. Its burnished metal hide gleamed like copper, reflecting the fury of the conflagration burning well into the night.
Menash pulled his mind away before it was lost forever in the storm of electric potentials. He saw Racek and Vezda swaying on their feet, breathing hard and fast.
“Heart of the World,” he managed to gasp, “What is your bidding?”
The Hollowore maneuvered itself until it was facing him directly. Tiny beady eyes fixed him in their blank gaze. The node emitted a blue pulse and the creature shuddered as it received the signal. It opened a maw powerful enough to chew boulders into gravel and rumbled:
“This one is the alpha which survived first contact with anomalous variable. It will tell Us what occurred, and from whence this threat emerged.”
“It came from the karst mountain range, where the yellowjacket Amit live,” Menash replied, “It was destroying the largest mound in that area, massacring its inhabitants. It brought the mountain down on them—we’ve never seen anything like it. Zildiz was the first on the scene. She warned us not to approach, and that it was dangerous, but some of us,” here he cast an angry look at Vezda, “Some of us went ahead and tried to scavenge from the bodies of the dying. Then the behemoth ignited the air and burned scores of us to cinders.”
“Irrational. Why did you do this?”
“W-we thought that you had spawned the grey behemoth,” Menash stammered, embarrassed to say the least, “That it was the newest addition to the Great Game, another species of ultrafauna that would help perfect Arachnea.”
“Not so. It was made by an evil far older than the All-In-One,” replied the Vitalus, “It is called a Divine Engine. In cycles past, this evil sought to undo this world and all that inhabit it. In that, it almost succeeded.”
Menash felt his blood run cold at those words.
“Is it the only one of its kind?” Racek piped up. Menash and Vezda both bristled at his interruption; subordinates were only supposed to speak when spoken to.
“There were several deployed here in Our infancy. We had thought them all destroyed in the War of Creation.”
“Your Munificence,” Racek went on, heedless of the venomous looks he was getting from the other two, “Most of us survived because Zildiz persuaded us to dive into the river. She saved all our lives! But as I washed up on the riverbank, I saw the behemoth casting a seedpod into the skies. I did not see where it landed, but it was travelling in a high arc due east. Is this the behemoth’s method of reproducing? If so, then how many offspring can it generate from this one seed?”
The Vitalus met his questions with a minute of silence. Menash had never known It to take so long to respond to a query, and felt another stab of unease in his gut. Unless he was imagining things, the Vitalus seemed genuinely disturbed by the scenario that Racek has raised, enough to convince Menash that the danger was far from hypothetical.
“That is a distant possibility,” It said somewhat cryptically, “Regardless, We cannot allow the Engine’s continued existence.”
“Then it must be destroyed,” Vezda said, her barbed tail eagerly perking up.
“We are not certain that it can be,” the Vitalus said, and Menash heard Racek audibly gulp at the admission.
“But Your Omniscience, you alone are the arbiter of growth and decay,” Vezda said in disbelief, “Surely you can unmake this monster as well?”
“Perhaps. The Divine Engines were built to withstand the extremes of temperature, gravity, atmospheric pressure, acidity and irradiation found on semi-inhabitable exoplanets. Worlds of bareness and desolation, glassed by thermonuclear bombardment or infested with alien microorganisms. In the wars of Our youth, the Betrayers used tungsten-alloy warheads fired from space platforms to crack their bulkheads. Not even Our vessels, the Hollowores, could damage them in any significant way. We will need time to gather the raw materials and fabricate the weapons needed to end this threat.”
“What must we do?” Menash asked.
“If this variable is not dealt with, it could upset the delicate balance We have sacrificed so much to achieve. Already the wildfire it has caused will release close to 400 million metric tons of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere and destroy 2.3 million acres of forest before Our countermeasures can stop it. Time is our limiting factor. If the Engine cannot be destroyed now, it must be restrained.”
“It hasn’t moved an inch since we last saw it,” Vezda said brightly, “Maybe it has already died?”
“Yes, and maybe your mother was a horka toad,” Racek said snidely. Vezda scowled and took a step towards him, then stopped as she remembered that she trod on hallowed ground.
“Not so. It has merely gone dormant. Having expended its fuel, it is now running on the bare minimum of its reserves. My children, you must ensure that it does not wake again. Establish a quarantine zone around the Engine and let none approach, on pain of death. The Leaper kindreds will secure the ground while the Gallivants patrol the skies.”
Vezda and Menash exchanged troubled looks. Nobody wanted Leapers establishing a foothold in what was essentially a buffer zone between their subspecies. Once allowed to settle in a habitat, it would not take long for them to adapt and become masters of their new territory. Ousting them would become a battle of attrition, and given the lower birthrates of Gallivants, it was not one they could long afford.
“Respectfully, we do not require assistance from our brother kindred,” Menash ventured, “We are more than capable of safeguarding the area ourselves.”
The node throbbed again, the bioelectric flashes taking on an angry purple hue. With a sound like the grinding of a millstone the Hollowore clashed its claws together impatiently. All three of the mortals took a hasty step back.
“The alpha will obey, or another will be found that can,” the Vitalus growled at them, “All subspecies will observe a general truce during this period. This is a temporary addition to the Great Game. Those that serve Us well shall be rewarded. We shall also enlist the aid of your terrestrial cousins, as well as the Cataphract clans to replenish the soil, and lone Saints who shall rove beyond the quarantine zone.”
Menash’s unease deepened. The Vitalus was bringing together four different kindreds, some of which killed each other on sight, in a move that reeked of desperation. The kindreds had worked together before, of course, on complex projects such as altering rainfall patterns and husbanding struggling species, but never so many at once. This was bound to end in bloodshed.
“Those that break the truce shall be chemically neutered, and their gilt helix purged from the existing gene pool,” the Vitalus continued, “You will maintain this quarantine until We have dealt with the Engine.”
“It is understood!” Menash and Vezda said at once.
“But what about Zildiz?” Racek blurted out, again risking his entire lineage by speaking out of turn, “She might still be alive out there!”
“He’s right,” Menash found himself agreeing despite his dislike for Racek, “She’s our alpha, after all. It would be a shame to lose her helix. Do we have your leave to send out a party to recover her?”
The Vitalus pondered the request for a moment, then crushed his hopes when it said:
“Regrettable, the loss of the female. Valuable stock for the breeding program. But it has not responded to Our signals—it is unlikely to have survived. The female Vezda shall take up its duties as alpha.”
“But Your Benevolence—” both men cried out in unison.
“It is decided. She has risked the Great Game, and must abide by its outcome. To speak more on this would risk Our displeasure,” the god warned.
“We can’t spare the manpower anyway,” Vezda pointed out, trying not to look too pleased at Its decision. She darted a quick look at Menash, long enough for him to see the selfish desire festering in her heart. He turned away from her in disgust, baring his blades by the slightest of margins to let her know what he thought of her, then asked the Vitalus:
“But what of the Engine’s seedpod? Should we search for it?”
“Negative!” the Vitalus boomed, its node reinforcing the word with a spike of activity that sent needles of pain spearing into their heads, “We shall complete this task. It is dangerous and can be entrusted to no other.”
The Hollowore angled its massive head towards the cavernous ceiling, armored flaps on its back sliding aside as it unfurled sets of rigid sixty-meter wings. A wide sphincter on the roof gaped open and Menash saw the evening sky awash with the stars in their milky multitudes. The Hollowore took a deep breath through the spiracles lining its thorax and abdomen, pumping air through a pair of hollow tube-like protuberances under either of its wings. Menash and the others quickly scampered to a safe distance. Seconds later there was a scream of chemical combustion and the Hollowore rose into the evening skies, leaving behind a long trail of superheated gases, the backwash almost knocking Menash off his feet. They watched as the Hollowore gained altitude, making straight for the columns of billowing smoke on the horizon, a sweeping shadow blotting out the light of the heavens.
The Vitalus’ mental presence receded with it. When it did not return, they took it to mean that they were dismissed and likewise took flight and headed for Chthonis. They were hardly out of the Dawning Chamber when Vezda seized the scrawny Racek by his wings and anchored her feet right up against his back.
“Funny little man, are you? Crack jokes at my expense again, and I’ll see to it that you’ll never fly again!” she snarled, yanking hard. Racek yelled as his wings threatened to pop out of their sockets.
“Stop!” Menash said, ramming his shoulder into her and knocking the smaller male out of her grip. Vezda rounded on him, blades out and her tail aquiver with rage.
“As for you! No one should speak to the Vitalus like that!” she shrieked, “Much less gainsay It! Are you trying to get us all killed? It is the source and continuance of life itself—”
“But the Vitalus doesn’t always consider the individual scale of things,” Menash reasoned, controlling his rising anger as he tried to defuse the situation, “Its scope of thought is beyond ours. Therefore it is up to us to look after each other. None of us can win the Great Game alone. We need people like Zildiz for the species to prosper.”
“Your logic is flawed,” Vezda spat, “Empathy is a sham devised by the selfish action of the gene, which seeks only to preserve itself. At least I am honest enough to look after my own interests. Your obsession with that whore is misplaced. Heed my words, Menash. What happened today marks a change in the Great Game. Only the ruthless will reap the rewards of this era. Think on that, and act accordingly.”
The female darted off in another direction, leaving the two behind.
“Thanks,” Racek said, rubbing at his sore shoulders, “My, my. She’s really taking her promotion very seriously, isn’t she?”
“This doesn’t make us friends,” Menash said shortly, “We share a common interest, that’s all.”
The two flew together in silence for a time, the dark canopy unrolling below their feet. Racek had always been a bitter rival for Zildiz’s affections. In the mating seasons he and Menash had flown the damsel-dance against each other countless times, racing and dogfighting at top speed through the dense bamboo thickets in an effort to impress her.
But each time she had always chosen Menash. Naturally. He was the stronger, the braver, the son of the Scourge who had slain hundreds on his lightning raids into Leaper territory. Their pairings had been brief and passionate, yet she had always laughed at the end and gone on her merry way, a rose petal borne on a scented breeze, the dalliance as meaningless to her as other concerns like eating or breathing.
But not to him. Right now, all that mattered was her. And Racek was the only one in the whole wide world who knew exactly how he felt. Did that mean he could be trusted? Menash considered the enormity of what he was about to do, and wavered. Then he saw her face in the darkness of his home, the face she wore when they were all alone together, and he took a deep breath before breaking the silence, saying:
“I’ll be in charge of the quarantine. I can arrange for you to disappear for a few days. I can have one of the younglings mimic your magnetosynaptic signal, make it seem like you’re with the rest of us.”
“You’d do that? For me?” Racek said in astonishment.
“Hah. Not for you,” Menash laughed softly. He looked Racek straight in the eyes and continued: “What’ll it be, then?”
If he so much as hesitates, I’ll have to kill him here and now, Menash told himself.
“Why, yes. Yes, of course!” the little brown male said vigorously.
“Good,” Menash sighed with relief, “She’ll be very grateful to whoever brings her home. I’d do it myself, but as an alpha I can’t risk being seen as disobedient.”
“Then why give me this chance? After all that’s passed between us?”
“I should have thought that was obvious,” Menash replied. Racek digested that for a bit, then out of nowhere said:
“If I find her—when I find her—I’ll tell her exactly who it was that sent me.”
“That won’t be necessary.”
“Bah! Just so we’re even, that’s all,” Racek grinned, his mouthparts slanting askew.
“Thanks, I guess. I’d…I’d appreciate that. You do understand what we’re risking here, right?”
“Sure. We’ll be total genetic write-offs if we’re caught. But it’s not like I wanted to see tiny ugly Raceks running around the house anyway. What about you, though? Why are you putting your neck on the chopping block?”
“You know why,” Menash said quietly, his thoughts still lingering on her face.
“Yes,” Racek agreed with a wistful air, “Yes, I suppose I do.”
And the pair spoke no more until they reached Chthonis.
Link for all the chapters available for free here: Engines of Arachnea on Royal Road

There's plenty of theories out there that try to explain the reasoning as to why, in Animal Crossing, there doesn't seem to be many humans other than you, the player character. Most of these are, quite frankly, either completely ridiculous, or take huge leaps in logic in order to get thier point across.
However, I recently came up with my own take on this theory, and one that seems pretty believable. You see, we're not actually human, per se. We're actually a spiritual being known as "marebito".
Marebito are creatures from Japanese folklore, and are essentially the equivalent of angels in Christian mythology. To quote Wikipedia, they are "supernatural beings who come from afar bringing gifts of wisdom, spiritual knowledge and happiness."
First off, in Japanese, the official name for your character, as confirmed by Super Smash Bros., is "Murabito". That sounds very similar to "Marebito", now doesn't it? Of course, you can apply wordplay to anything, and it still wouldn't prove anything. Don't worry, I have plenty more evidence to support this.
Notice that you're the only one who actually has any effect on your town/island. You're the only one who's able to do stuff like plant trees, cut them down, or even provide for the local economy. Do any of the other residents help pick up weeds? No. Do they catch and donate anything to the local museum? No. In "New Horizons", do they so much as lift a finger to help clean up the island when you first arrive? No. In "New Leaf", do they help raise money for the all Public Works Projects you place across town? Sort of, but they're only able to put in what amounts to meer pocket change; it would take a ton of deliberate ignorance on your part until they'd manage to pay it off on their own. Most if not all of that is coming from your own pocket. Hell, do they even buy and sell stuff? Again, sort of. In "Wild World" and "City Folk", every few weekends there's "Flea Markets", where you can buy furniture from thier homes. But guess who's the only one who's actually able to buy anything. You. Or if you're in your own house, you can sell your stuff to them. In "New Leaf", there's instead a "Re-Tail" store, where everyone can sell their stuff secondhand. However, your neighbors will only consider buying things here. They never will unless you influence them to.
Sure, you can occasionally see your neighbors holding the various tools throughout the game, but if you follow them around, you'll see that they're never actually capable of using them. With the exception of the watering can, they'll eventually just put it right back. In "New Horizons", you can see them attempt to use the fishing rod and net, but they'll never actually catch anything. They come close to catching bugs with the net, but they'll eventually just miss, and the bug flies away. And with the fishing rod, you can see them cast their line out even if there's no shadow in the water. And on the off chance that there is, the fish never nibble at their lines.
See, since you're a marebito, you've arrived at your town/island, sent here with the mission of making all its residents happy. Creating relationships with them, helping thier little wherever it is grow and expand, and even be a sort of sugar daddy and buy things from and for them just so the economy is nice and steady. You can donate specimens of the local wildlife to the failing museum just so the residents have somewhere fun to go to in their free time. And since most of the animal villagers are herbivores, you're providing them with a source of food, since you're the only one who can plant trees that grow fruit for them to eat.
Okay, that's all fine and good, but why a human in particular? Why not some kind of animal that blends in more? Well first, in the original game, your character always wears a hat with fake bull horns on them presumably for this reason (in later games prior to "New Horizons", these hats are instead the design that the male villager wears when wearing one with a custom design). Secondly, amongst all the other animals, a human sticks out. So when the they need help, or have busywork that needs doing, they have someone they can very easily find who will be more than happy to take the time to do it for them out of kindness. As long as it makes them happy.