Multiple miscarriages then clomid and progesterone
Pregnancy - Getting GP/hospital to take over private prescription for blood thinner
2024.05.16 23:34 IcyAdvantage460 Pregnancy - Getting GP/hospital to take over private prescription for blood thinner
Hi all, hopefully this isn't against the rules but will remove if it is..
Long story short, I had an early miscarriage previously. I then went private out of pocket to get some fertility tests done. My blood test results came up showing anticardiolipin antibodies and having APS. The consultant said that I should start enoxaparin/heparin injections, progesterone pessaries as well as low dosage aspirin asap should I get pregnant again.
Well I got pregnant again. GP straight up says they won't prescribe it and to call epu. Epu says no and to contact gp. Neither are willing to prescribe it as I've not had multiple miscarriages so I went back to the private consultant who prescribed everything. I've now started the injections. My first epu/fmu hospital 12 week check up isn't for many weeks.
These injections are quite expensive as well as the actual private appointments. Is there anything I can do or say to get the NHS to take over the prescription and manage it?
Thanks in advance
submitted by IcyAdvantage460 to nhs [link] [comments]
Long story short, I had an early miscarriage previously. I then went private out of pocket to get some fertility tests done. My blood test results came up showing anticardiolipin antibodies and having APS. The consultant said that I should start enoxaparin/heparin injections, progesterone pessaries as well as low dosage aspirin asap should I get pregnant again.
Well I got pregnant again. GP straight up says they won't prescribe it and to call epu. Epu says no and to contact gp. Neither are willing to prescribe it as I've not had multiple miscarriages so I went back to the private consultant who prescribed everything. I've now started the injections. My first epu/fmu hospital 12 week check up isn't for many weeks.
These injections are quite expensive as well as the actual private appointments. Is there anything I can do or say to get the NHS to take over the prescription and manage it?
Thanks in advance
2024.05.16 21:26 AspieComrade Our nice doctor retired, first meeting with the replacement doctor and my wife is told that she’ll be refused IVF if she continues to be upset regarding her infertility
Had to rant somewhere with people that would understand
We had a lovely female doctor who treated the matter with sensitivity and thoroughness, and when we heard she’d retired and been replaced with a male doctor my wife and I immediately knew we were in for trouble as 100% of the male doctors we’ve seen in our fertility journey have been pompous, insensitive and completely unknowledgeable in their field with a total inability to listen to any questions or concerns (my personal ‘favourite’ being when we voiced concern of (spoiler tagged for trigger warning) a higher chance of miscarriage if we conceived by chance before knowing what had been causing her lifelong issues and he responded with “well half of pregnancies end up in miscarriage anyway so…” shrug)
Having never had regular cycles in her life and other concerns, it’s taken a huge toll on my wife’s mental health and she’s had to seek mental health support to cope with the stress and anxiety and everything else surrounding it.
Having had a difficult day already with anxiety surrounding this upcoming appointment with the new doctor and with a friend sending her a picture of his baby because he forgot that it’s upsetting to her (🙄), she cried during the appointment when she was told that the first round of clomid had no effect and that she was to try again on the same dose and that they’d keep repeating the process for six months before looking at IVF. Instead of trying to comfort his crying patient, he responds to this by saying that if she’s not sorted her emotions out by that point then he’s going to personally see to it that IVF treatment is refused and that her fertility treatment is stopped there. Even the (female) nurse seemed taken aback at that comment but didn’t say anything.
So now we’re at a point where she can no longer risk seeking mental health support, lest this doctor use those appointments as receipts to refuse treatment. I’m curious if anyone else has gone through/ is going through anything similar on their journey?
submitted by AspieComrade to InfertilitySucks [link] [comments]
We had a lovely female doctor who treated the matter with sensitivity and thoroughness, and when we heard she’d retired and been replaced with a male doctor my wife and I immediately knew we were in for trouble as 100% of the male doctors we’ve seen in our fertility journey have been pompous, insensitive and completely unknowledgeable in their field with a total inability to listen to any questions or concerns (my personal ‘favourite’ being when we voiced concern of (spoiler tagged for trigger warning) a higher chance of miscarriage if we conceived by chance before knowing what had been causing her lifelong issues and he responded with “well half of pregnancies end up in miscarriage anyway so…” shrug)
Having never had regular cycles in her life and other concerns, it’s taken a huge toll on my wife’s mental health and she’s had to seek mental health support to cope with the stress and anxiety and everything else surrounding it.
Having had a difficult day already with anxiety surrounding this upcoming appointment with the new doctor and with a friend sending her a picture of his baby because he forgot that it’s upsetting to her (🙄), she cried during the appointment when she was told that the first round of clomid had no effect and that she was to try again on the same dose and that they’d keep repeating the process for six months before looking at IVF. Instead of trying to comfort his crying patient, he responds to this by saying that if she’s not sorted her emotions out by that point then he’s going to personally see to it that IVF treatment is refused and that her fertility treatment is stopped there. Even the (female) nurse seemed taken aback at that comment but didn’t say anything.
So now we’re at a point where she can no longer risk seeking mental health support, lest this doctor use those appointments as receipts to refuse treatment. I’m curious if anyone else has gone through/ is going through anything similar on their journey?
2024.05.16 21:11 Gabahealthcare What Causes Postpartum Depression?
 | Becoming a parent is one of the most wonderful feelings in the world. Even the mere thought is associated with a lot of intense emotions and feelings. The birth of a baby is expected to bring unmatched contentment and joy. But, sometimes, it may result in an unfortunate condition - Postpartum Depression. submitted by Gabahealthcare to u/Gabahealthcare [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/4pq9i22h9u0d1.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=9949f45e958ddccbe5611960af84da266826a2a7 It is also known as Postnatal Depression. This condition is the onset of a depressed mood and its associated symptoms within the first year of the birth of the child. It is observed that most mothers experience baby blues, and some mothers develop persistent severe symptoms that do not resolve on their own. Postpartum Blues and Postpartum Depression are two different sides of the same coin, but Postpartum Depression is more severe and is a long-term condition that should not be overlooked. Postpartum Blues, also known as Baby Blues, are temporary changes in mental and emotional state that occur in the mother within 2 to 3 days after childbirth and last for approximately 2 weeks. They usually resolve on their own without medical intervention. However, suppose the symptoms of Baby Blues elevate and persist for more than a few weeks. In that case, it can be identified as Postpartum Depression (PPD), which is a more serious condition and requires proper support and health care. Jessica, a 37-year-old mother of a four-year-old, recalls feeling irritable, sleepless, stressed, and angry after giving birth. She did not receive a formal diagnosis and prefers to refer to her symptoms as "Baby Blues" rather than "Postpartum Depression" considering the severity of her condition. Postpartum Depression Causes Every year, there are 140 million births worldwide, while the incidence of postpartum depression is estimated to be around 10–20 percent of new mothers. The obvious question to ask is why some mothers get postpartum depression while others do not. Here are a few causes: Genetics Studies indicate that sometimes family history of the condition is one of the main causes of postpartum depression in mothers. More people have this prevalent subtype of major depressive disorder than any other psychiatric disorder due to genetics. The largest meta-analysis of genome-wide association studies carried out by an international team of researchers investigated the genetic makeup of postpartum depression. According to the study, common genetic factors may account for approximately 14% of the variations seen in cases of postpartum depression. Chronic Fatigue Evidence suggests that chronic fatigue may raise a woman's risk of postpartum depression. Lack of sleep lowers sleep quality, making it harder for a mother to regain her physical stamina and agility. The symptoms of anxiety and depression may worsen as a result of inadequate sleep. A single sleep session is insufficient to address the chronic fatigue that emerges from an imbalance between rest and activity. It impacts over 60% of new mothers and may result from many conditions, including thyroid dysfunction, anemia, inflammation, and infection. The changes in the mother’s hormones may also result in postpartum fatigue. Jessica had to deal with sleep disturbances in the postpartum period. She also recalls having insomnia and struggling to sleep for the recommended number of hours. Implementing sleep hygiene in small but significant steps would have helped her deal with this situation more effectively. Loss of Aspiration Stressors related to psychology may arise as a result of becoming a mother. The drastic changes in a woman’s body, overwhelming responsibilities, and perception of society can all trigger and contribute to low self-esteem. A person may easily experience a loss of motivation and aspiration as a result of such abrupt changes in their life, which can exacerbate the symptoms of postpartum depression. Women are more likely to feel difficult feelings like frustration, confusion, anxiety, guilt, and sadness during the postpartum period, in addition to overwhelming emotions like excitement, anticipation, fulfillment, and happiness. Jessica recalls feeling a lack of ambition and fear about the future after having her baby. She almost forgot to have some fulfilling "me time" because she was so preoccupied with the responsibilities of her child. Relationship Discord When a child is born, the parent's relationship undergoes a dramatic transformation. Despite this milestone being a source of great joy, it can also lead to emotional distress due to parental frustration shortly afterward. These intense emotions may result in postpartum depression symptoms in both parents. It can disrupt the mother-child bond and, in some cases, affect the child’s emotional and cognitive development. Paternal discord can lead to later disorders in children and have an impact on their behavioral development. Individuals' depressive states worsen during this phase when couples stop doing things they used to enjoy together, such as traveling, going to the gym, enjoying moments together, seeing friends, and spending evenings out. This disconnection can sometimes become so severe that couples lose recognition for each other as the people they once loved.While adjusting to the arrival of a newborn, the mother may struggle to maintain her bond with her elder children. Elder children may struggle to cope with the arrival of a new sibling because it divides the mother's attention and makes them feel less loved. Jessica's relationship conflict with her husband was the most difficult aspect of her pregnancy and postpartum experience. She struggled to cope without her partner during her difficult divorce. But she was really fortunate to have the support of her friends and family, which helped her avoid severe mental health symptoms. She still believes that the presence of both parents would have been beneficial to her daughter's behavioral development. Sheehan’s Syndrome Sheehan's syndrome, first described in 1937, is postpartum hypopituitarism caused by shock or hypotension as a result of massive hemorrhage or blood loss during or after childbirth. This syndrome can manifest itself during or after the postpartum period as lactation failure, generalized weakness and debility, cessation of menstrual periods, premature wrinkling of the face and forehead, body hair loss, and dry, coarse skin.Sheehan's syndrome is estimated to affect one out of every 1,00,000 births worldwide. Women in developing and underdeveloped countries have limited access to sophisticated medical care, skilled healthcare professionals, and medical resources, which contributes to higher rates of postpartum hemorrhage and raises the figure to five out of every 1,000 births. It is considered 'rare' in industrialized nations, but the numbers are increasing due to the influx of immigrants from developing countries. Sheehan's syndrome is frequently diagnosed late due to its chronic nature. Because it presents as a case of multiple hormone deficiencies, it may be misdiagnosed as hypothyroidism, pituitary tumor, or postpartum depression. Some patients struggle with achieving the correct diagnosis and are often treated as cases of postpartum depression or major depressive disorder. An incorrect diagnosis leads to the wrong treatment and worsens symptoms, making the patient prone to intensified mental health conditions, including depression. History of Depression A history of depression and anxiety has been identified as a significant psychological risk factor for postpartum depression. According to a study that observed approximately 70,000 births in Sweden between 1997 and 2008, women with a history of depression are twenty times more likely to develop postpartum depression than those without a prior depression diagnosis. Women who have contracted depression earlier are more susceptible to hormonal changes and can better identify their symptoms. Referring to the research foundations laid by O’Hara MW, it is clear that 23.9% of women who were diagnosed with postpartum depression had experienced depression before. In contrast, only 2.6% of women with no history of psychiatric illness were diagnosed with PPD symptoms. In line with previous research, this study reveals significant rates of recurring postpartum depression (PPD) among women who have previously experienced PPD. The risk of developing PPD after the birth of a second child was found to be 46.4 times higher (95% CI 31.5–68.4) for women who had been hospitalized for PPD following the birth of their first child. Similarly, women who were treated with antidepressants for PPD after their first child had a 26.9-fold increased risk of experiencing PPD after their second child (95% CI 21.9–33.2). Anemia Anemia is a condition in which the body lacks red blood cells, or hemoglobin, which transports oxygen to the tissues. During pregnancy, a woman is more likely to develop four types of anemia: iron deficiency anemia, pregnancy anemia, folate deficiency, and vitamin B-12 deficiencies. This condition may cause the baby's unfulfilled growth, resulting in an underweight or premature birth. Iron deficiency anemia is the most common type of anemia among pregnant women, accounting for approximately 80% of cases. Anemia has been identified as a significant contributor to postpartum depression. It is therefore critical to pay attention to the nutritional status of women during this time. The prevalence of anemia in pregnant women may be influenced by lifestyle, diet, and geographical location. Anemia can lead to negative pregnancy outcomes such as preeclampsia, low birth weight, small head circumference, premature birth in the baby, and postpartum depression. According to research, the prevalence of PPD in anemic women is significantly higher than in non-anemic women, and there is a link between anemia and postpartum depression. High Work Load A study published on PubMed suggests that higher psychological work demands, lower perceived control over work and family, and lower schedule autonomy intensify the symptoms of postpartum depression. Low job flexibility and a higher workload are other contributors to this condition. Working women may find it difficult to balance multiple work commitments while also dealing with the unnecessary guilt of not being good mothers. Some solutions to postpartum depression symptoms caused by poor work-life balance include mental and social support from peers and colleagues, partners assisting with household chores, reduced workload at work, maternity leave, motivation and encouragement for the mother, and equal distribution of responsibilities among partners. Jessica believes that her decision to take time off from work after becoming a mother allowed her to rest and recharge. After returning to work, she embraced the support of her coworkers, which made it easier for her to integrate work-life balance and successfully restart her career. Loss of Identity New mothers frequently experience a loss of identity. After having a baby, some parents may believe that being a parent is their sole identity. Postpartum depression symptoms may worsen if thoughts of exhaustion, worry, and unhappiness persist for an extended period, making it difficult to get through each day. Loss of identity causes feelings such as disrupted professional identity, inability to earn money, a low-quality social life, less time for leisure activities, and a lack of self-confidence. All of these characteristics may cause parenting issues and a lack of bonding with the baby. In most cases, mothers discontinue activities they once enjoyed, such as seeing friends, taking long showers, spending quality time with their partners, and engaging in hobbies. Difficult Pregnancy Pregnancy complications can arise due to concerns about the mother's health, the fetus's health, or both. Even healthy women may experience difficulties during their pregnancies. Complications include high blood pressure, gestational diabetes, infections, preterm labor, stillbirth, and preeclampsia. Mothers who do not receive adequate and timely prenatal care are more likely to develop such pregnancy complications, which may contribute significantly to the onset of postpartum depression. High-risk pregnancies can occur due to pre-existing medical conditions or complications that arise during pregnancy. Some factors are mentioned below that may contribute to difficult pregnancies:
There has been much speculation about the causes of PPD, with some claiming that the rapid changes in reproductive hormones such as estradiol and progesterone before and after childbirth may play a part. While several studies, both in humans and in animals, have found a link between changes in hormone levels and PPD, others have discovered no link between hormone concentrations and symptoms. For example, studies on the differences in ovarian hormone levels and depressive symptoms during the postpartum period have not found a direct link between absolute estrogen and progesterone concentrations and PPD. However, studies that used estradiol treatment successfully alleviated depressive symptoms, and animal studies have shown that withdrawing estradiol and progesterone can cause depression-like behavior. Reproductive hormones play important roles in a variety of functions, including basic emotion processing, arousal, cognition, and motivation. As a result, they may indirectly contribute to postpartum depression by influencing psychological, social, and economic risk factors. Interestingly, these hormones also regulate the biological systems involved in major depression, implying a direct link to a woman's risk for PPD. Thyroid hormones have been proposed as a potential biomarker for PPD due to the suspected link between thyroid dysfunction and major depression. Thyroid dysfunction is associated with pregnancy and may contribute to PPD in some women. Nutritional Deficiency Malnutrition, or a lack of specific nutrients such as B and D vitamins, n-3 polyunsaturated fatty acids (PUFA), folate, trace minerals, iron, antioxidants, and so on, can increase the risk of developing postpartum depression. Lactation and pregnancy place additional demands on a new mother's body, making nutritional deficiencies more common during this time and paving the way for depression symptoms. Investigations are currently underway to determine whether low vitamin D levels may increase the risk of postpartum depression. This is because vitamin D functions as a neuroactive hormone, playing an important role in the nervous system rather than the endocrine system. Its primary function is to link sensory stimuli to the release of hormones, resulting in a hormonal response. Vitamin D helps to regulate neurotransmitters like adrenaline, norepinephrine, dopamine, and serotonin. Any abnormalities in these neurotransmitters and hormones have been linked to the onset of depressive symptoms.Omega-3 fatty acids have also been linked to PPD. Docosahexaenoic acid (DHA) and eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA) are two types of omega-3 fatty acids that are well-known for their cardiovascular benefits, but they also play an important role in brain development and neurotransmitter regulation. Increased DHA and EPA levels are associated with improved serotonin receptor sensitivity, which is achieved by increasing the fluidity of the receptor cell membrane. Furthermore, omega-3 fatty acids are thought to reduce neuroinflammatory processes associated with the onset of depression. Many people in the United States are deficient in omega-3 fatty acids due to a lack of these nutrients in their diets, according to reports. The typical American diet consists primarily of fast food, which is deficient in nutrients and does not meet recommended nutritional guidelines. Pregnant women are especially vulnerable to the harmful effects of low omega-3 fatty acids. This is because the increased blood supply required for fetal oxygen causes a natural decrease in DHA and EPA levels. In addition, the body prioritizes the fetus's growth and development by redirecting blood and nutrients, putting pregnant women at greater risk of developing nutritional deficiencies and, as a result, postpartum depression. Dealing with postpartum depression (PPD) can be difficult for both the mother and her child. It jeopardizes both the mother's health and the child's development. Women with PPD frequently struggle to maintain consistent breastfeeding due to depressive symptoms. PPD complicates the mother-child relationship, resulting in poor cognitive functioning, aggressive behavior, excessive crying, emotional instability, and sleep issues in infants and adolescents. PPD is linked to negative thoughts, substance abuse, postpartum psychosis, hallucinations, confusion, mood swings, paranoia, impaired judgment, loss of appetite, and insomnia in mothers. It impairs a woman's ability to interact and socialize with her own family, making her feel inadequate as a mother and preventing her from participating in activities and hobbies. Women with PPD are also more likely to commit infanticide and suicide, as well as develop serious mental illnesses such as bipolar disorder. "In a world where women are constantly invalidated, they must seek help for postpartum depression," says Jessica. She believes that women should understand that PPD is normal and, in some cases, inevitable. It is effective to see an Online Psychiatrist for postpartum depression, as it is economical, involves less hassle, and is more accessible. Gaba Telepsychiatry's psychiatrists aim to deliver a comprehensive approach to psychiatric care while adhering to evidence-based medicine. Our online psychiatrists consider a range of factors, including genetics, development, trauma, nutrition, hormones, career and relationship difficulties, coping skills, concurrent medical illnesses, head injuries, medication side effects, and more. Visit https://gabapsychiatrist.com/postpartum-depression-treatment/… to know more and seek help for depression. |
2024.05.16 20:03 LCsquee Birth story baby #2
TW: past medical abuse, mentions of miscarriage, preemie baby and Nicu stay.
This is my second baby, and my last! He was due in early May. Two years previously, I had his older sister at 36 weeks, so I knew that there was a possibility of going into labor early. So I scheduled my maternity leave at school to start at around 36 weeks, thinking if I relax I could keep him in for another week or so and have a full-term baby. Nope!
I had had a lot of previous issues with this pregnancy, like a hemorrhaging incident at 10 weeks in which we thought I had a miscarriage, some continue to bleeding and cramping at different points in my pregnancy, and a premature loss of my mucus plug. I was told each time that everything's fine and there's no sign of anything wrong and he should be a healthy full term baby. I felt like everyone around me thought I was being dramatic or looking for attention, but I really just wanted my baby to be okay and had this constant feeling that something wasn't right. Well, something wasn't right.
I, just like with my daughter, spontaneously went into labor at 34 weeks. PPROM, with my water breaking impressively around midnight at home. We of course we're not expecting this, so my husband ran to a neighbor to get them to come house sit until his mother could arrive to watch our sleeping toddler upstairs, and we drove to the hospital. I originally had wanted to drive myself because I just didn't want to leave our daughter without a parent at home, but I was gushing so much water that I couldn't hardly string two words together, let alone walk.
We got to the hospital, went into the emergency room entrance because it was after hours, and went to labor and delivery triage. Won't behold, I'm a couple centimeters dilated and in labor. The nurse I had was pretty rough giving me a cervical check, and it was the only one I've ever had between the two children have given birth to that hurt. The same nurse also failed to get my IV port in and left in half, and thankfully another nurse who wasn't in a bad mood came in and got it on the 4th attempt. My poor arms were covered in massive bruises for a couple weeks afterwards. Amazingly we were put in the same in sweet Nicki room as we were for my daughter 2 years ago, good old room 350!
Labor progressed well I'm without need for any intervention, like pictocin. I handled the contractions better than I did with my first, but wanted to make sure I got my epidural before I progressed to pass the point of no return-- I in no way wanted to experience the feeling of possibly ripping my vagina 🫠
It was really tough mentally, getting my epidural. With my first baby, the anesthesiologist was horrible. You can look at my previous birth story if you want the full rundown, but he assaulted me, so I was really nervous this time around. The nurse caught on that I was feeling apprehensive, and with talking to her I came to found out that the previous anesthesiologist had been fired for assaulting multiple women the same way he did me! Really hope he never works again. They brought in the new anesthesiologist, and he was the most gentle and kind person! It went very smoothly, and it was nice to have a relief from the contractions and pressure.
I was hoping I could maybe rest or even nap once I got my epidural in like I did was my first. But nope, 10 minutes later I was being told he is right there and ready to come out, about half a day after labor started. I don't know why, probably because he was so little, but he was incredibly easy to push out. I was told to stop pushing, and not push so hard, and got him out in about three gentle but steady pushes. Thankfully I had no damage at all, no tearing or even bruising or swelling. After my epidural wore off it literally just felt like I had written a bike for the first time in a while. As immensely grateful, because I was going to be run through the ringer taking care of my family and a Nicu baby.
When he first came out, my son was very small, yes, but incredibly pink, very lively and noisy, and he peed all over me immediately lol. They let him have extra time with his cord before they clamped it due to him being early, and I got to do my wonderful hour with him before they wished him over to the NICU attachment of the room. He had respiratory distress for the first 24 hours of his life, which was gut-wrenching to watch. He could not regulate his body temperature at all, so unless he was snuggled under many blankets on me, He stayed on the warmer. He couldn't eat by himself so his NG tube was placed and used for the majority of his stay. His blood sugar was monitored very religiously, and it was so tough watching his little feet be pricked over and over and over.
I was released after 2 days from the hospital, and I probably could have been released earlier but I wanted to stay officially as a patient for a little longer. It was hard, being away from my toddler daughter was a special kind of hell. But then when I was with her, my heart was torn to pieces that I wasn't with my baby. No matter where I was, I felt horrible guilt. I triple fed, pumping every 3 hours, and if I was a NICU nursing him before they topped him up with his special increased calorie premium formula. Any milk I produced was fortified to give to him as well. He steadily lost weight despite them constantly increasing the size of a speeds, the point of him constantly spitting up from having way too much in his tummy. But I was told that this is just what they do until they start gaining weight. I was told with preemies that they just won't put on weight for the longest time, and then suddenly start putting it on, and suddenly eating on their own.
I was starting to lose hope of that, when on about the 10th day he put on weight overnight. They took out his tube and we worked on feedings with him, which he seemed to struggle so hard with. But then just like with the weight, he suddenly started eating well. On day 12 we could take him home! In a way it was even harder at home to keep up with the pumping, fortifying the milk I pumped myself, mixing the special recipe of extra calories preemie formula, and nursing. He gained weight so well that I was given the okay after a few days at home to stop pumping if I didn't want to. I very gratefully stopped pumping
. He eventually started showing signs of a milk protein intolerance, just like my daughter had, and just like I had as a baby. It was no surprise to me when he was put on hypoallergenic formula. We're still dealing with all of that right now, with me trying to keep dairy out of my diet and struggling with the decision of whether I want to keep combo feeding or just switch over completely formula. He will be 2 months old in about a week and he is put on 4 lb so far, almost doubling his birth weight!
Right now we are also struggling with his head shape. This was new to me, because my first born head no issues with any flat spots or head shape at all. But being in NICU, they always faced him in the same direction, facing the nursing station when I was not there. He developed a tendency to put his head to the right, and developed a bit of flat spot. We've been working with him on tummy time, gently repositioning his head the other way, and just doing everything in our power to help correct this... All to know avail. His spot has gotten worse, and we are fairly certain that he will be getting a helmet soon. I know it's no big deal, but apart me feels like I failed somehow 😭 his poor, cute little lopsided noggin 🥺 otherwise, besides his head shape and figuring out his dairy intolerance, he's doing well!
I've tried multiple times to figure out why my babies were born so early, why my body couldn't keep them in to be full term. The OB had no answers for me and just sort of shrugged her shoulders at it, saying that since I showed no signs of having an incompetence cervix or anything else, it was just something that we'd never know why. She was relieved though to hear that we did not plan to have any more children, as that would have made things a bit more complicated given my history of early birth.
It's hard of me is sad that I'm not having any more children, but the possibility of having another preemie baby, especially one even younger than my first two, is sobering. I will just enjoy my two very healthy and happy babies I have 💕
submitted by LCsquee to beyondthebump [link] [comments]
This is my second baby, and my last! He was due in early May. Two years previously, I had his older sister at 36 weeks, so I knew that there was a possibility of going into labor early. So I scheduled my maternity leave at school to start at around 36 weeks, thinking if I relax I could keep him in for another week or so and have a full-term baby. Nope!
I had had a lot of previous issues with this pregnancy, like a hemorrhaging incident at 10 weeks in which we thought I had a miscarriage, some continue to bleeding and cramping at different points in my pregnancy, and a premature loss of my mucus plug. I was told each time that everything's fine and there's no sign of anything wrong and he should be a healthy full term baby. I felt like everyone around me thought I was being dramatic or looking for attention, but I really just wanted my baby to be okay and had this constant feeling that something wasn't right. Well, something wasn't right.
I, just like with my daughter, spontaneously went into labor at 34 weeks. PPROM, with my water breaking impressively around midnight at home. We of course we're not expecting this, so my husband ran to a neighbor to get them to come house sit until his mother could arrive to watch our sleeping toddler upstairs, and we drove to the hospital. I originally had wanted to drive myself because I just didn't want to leave our daughter without a parent at home, but I was gushing so much water that I couldn't hardly string two words together, let alone walk.
We got to the hospital, went into the emergency room entrance because it was after hours, and went to labor and delivery triage. Won't behold, I'm a couple centimeters dilated and in labor. The nurse I had was pretty rough giving me a cervical check, and it was the only one I've ever had between the two children have given birth to that hurt. The same nurse also failed to get my IV port in and left in half, and thankfully another nurse who wasn't in a bad mood came in and got it on the 4th attempt. My poor arms were covered in massive bruises for a couple weeks afterwards. Amazingly we were put in the same in sweet Nicki room as we were for my daughter 2 years ago, good old room 350!
Labor progressed well I'm without need for any intervention, like pictocin. I handled the contractions better than I did with my first, but wanted to make sure I got my epidural before I progressed to pass the point of no return-- I in no way wanted to experience the feeling of possibly ripping my vagina 🫠
It was really tough mentally, getting my epidural. With my first baby, the anesthesiologist was horrible. You can look at my previous birth story if you want the full rundown, but he assaulted me, so I was really nervous this time around. The nurse caught on that I was feeling apprehensive, and with talking to her I came to found out that the previous anesthesiologist had been fired for assaulting multiple women the same way he did me! Really hope he never works again. They brought in the new anesthesiologist, and he was the most gentle and kind person! It went very smoothly, and it was nice to have a relief from the contractions and pressure.
I was hoping I could maybe rest or even nap once I got my epidural in like I did was my first. But nope, 10 minutes later I was being told he is right there and ready to come out, about half a day after labor started. I don't know why, probably because he was so little, but he was incredibly easy to push out. I was told to stop pushing, and not push so hard, and got him out in about three gentle but steady pushes. Thankfully I had no damage at all, no tearing or even bruising or swelling. After my epidural wore off it literally just felt like I had written a bike for the first time in a while. As immensely grateful, because I was going to be run through the ringer taking care of my family and a Nicu baby.
When he first came out, my son was very small, yes, but incredibly pink, very lively and noisy, and he peed all over me immediately lol. They let him have extra time with his cord before they clamped it due to him being early, and I got to do my wonderful hour with him before they wished him over to the NICU attachment of the room. He had respiratory distress for the first 24 hours of his life, which was gut-wrenching to watch. He could not regulate his body temperature at all, so unless he was snuggled under many blankets on me, He stayed on the warmer. He couldn't eat by himself so his NG tube was placed and used for the majority of his stay. His blood sugar was monitored very religiously, and it was so tough watching his little feet be pricked over and over and over.
I was released after 2 days from the hospital, and I probably could have been released earlier but I wanted to stay officially as a patient for a little longer. It was hard, being away from my toddler daughter was a special kind of hell. But then when I was with her, my heart was torn to pieces that I wasn't with my baby. No matter where I was, I felt horrible guilt. I triple fed, pumping every 3 hours, and if I was a NICU nursing him before they topped him up with his special increased calorie premium formula. Any milk I produced was fortified to give to him as well. He steadily lost weight despite them constantly increasing the size of a speeds, the point of him constantly spitting up from having way too much in his tummy. But I was told that this is just what they do until they start gaining weight. I was told with preemies that they just won't put on weight for the longest time, and then suddenly start putting it on, and suddenly eating on their own.
I was starting to lose hope of that, when on about the 10th day he put on weight overnight. They took out his tube and we worked on feedings with him, which he seemed to struggle so hard with. But then just like with the weight, he suddenly started eating well. On day 12 we could take him home! In a way it was even harder at home to keep up with the pumping, fortifying the milk I pumped myself, mixing the special recipe of extra calories preemie formula, and nursing. He gained weight so well that I was given the okay after a few days at home to stop pumping if I didn't want to. I very gratefully stopped pumping
. He eventually started showing signs of a milk protein intolerance, just like my daughter had, and just like I had as a baby. It was no surprise to me when he was put on hypoallergenic formula. We're still dealing with all of that right now, with me trying to keep dairy out of my diet and struggling with the decision of whether I want to keep combo feeding or just switch over completely formula. He will be 2 months old in about a week and he is put on 4 lb so far, almost doubling his birth weight!
Right now we are also struggling with his head shape. This was new to me, because my first born head no issues with any flat spots or head shape at all. But being in NICU, they always faced him in the same direction, facing the nursing station when I was not there. He developed a tendency to put his head to the right, and developed a bit of flat spot. We've been working with him on tummy time, gently repositioning his head the other way, and just doing everything in our power to help correct this... All to know avail. His spot has gotten worse, and we are fairly certain that he will be getting a helmet soon. I know it's no big deal, but apart me feels like I failed somehow 😭 his poor, cute little lopsided noggin 🥺 otherwise, besides his head shape and figuring out his dairy intolerance, he's doing well!
I've tried multiple times to figure out why my babies were born so early, why my body couldn't keep them in to be full term. The OB had no answers for me and just sort of shrugged her shoulders at it, saying that since I showed no signs of having an incompetence cervix or anything else, it was just something that we'd never know why. She was relieved though to hear that we did not plan to have any more children, as that would have made things a bit more complicated given my history of early birth.
It's hard of me is sad that I'm not having any more children, but the possibility of having another preemie baby, especially one even younger than my first two, is sobering. I will just enjoy my two very healthy and happy babies I have 💕
2024.05.16 15:05 Latte_Macchiato_8 Should I just leave? Is there any hope left….?
I am venting and seeking advice at the same time.
Today my husband was asking for space while I literally am being met over and over again with the silent treatment on top of the repetitive physical distance (like him saying he needs space but only he knows for how long. But all he said is he needs space). This is everytime I voice how I feel that leads up to an argument or whenever I can’t accept things, it has gotten to the point where I have been begging him to stay. After every single argument, just to see him leave.
Last night was the first time where he was sitting next to me after months of neglect and having to deal with my voices and anxiety alone. On top of disrespecting myself in begging him to stay and seeing him leave though the door over and over again in my head. Hence I couldn’t accept it yesterday. I know this is unfair but I can’t help but think “Why now? Why didn’t you do this before? How dare you? Honestly maybe I like being alone more now even if my thoughts are dark.. etc etc” It’s hard… I am aware that we are humans and I want to give myself grace but I keep fighting. Fighting for his love. While I’m empty yet giving unconditional love. Only to see him walk out of the door multiple times to trigger my abandonment issues. Don’t get me wrong now, he went through hell fire in his childhood too. Got bullied in school for years because of both parents abandoning him and him growing up with his grandparents from his mom’s side. Me too, just that my parents were physically there but emotionally so absent that I always wondered why I’m even here and secretly wished they weren’t so I could at least say that they were absent like he does… Now I am not saying mine is bigger or his is. It’s never a competition of pain. But when it comes to him it feels like it is always justified and he once just pulls away cause needs space and I ALWAYS check up on him. Because I’m aware of this trauma and try to accommodate. This time however I vowed to let him come to me first cause I am TIRED of doing so over a year now and being the person to keep pushing despite being done myself. And then getting punished instead of being appreciated for it. And feeling like he just (doesn’t or?) simply can’t be there for me like that anymore. I feel like it’s selfish of him but idk if I can even claim that cause I see how depressed he looks and behaves…. It’s just a lot and I am extremely confused after being neglected for so long even if it’s “justified” from his side… For now, I am just taking time out to spend with my loved ones since I have been neglecting them for a long time in the process. And taking their word for staying quiet just to see if he will reach out first since they’re aware of the situation and me being the person who always does this.
Financially I am also thinking where all the money goes considering he keeps getting fines and got into an accident twice this past year. Where he had to file for an insurance claim but couldn’t because of the language barrier. I help him with those things now, from mails to paperwork for his fines, and many more.. But it takes such a mental toll on me that I have no energy left to think about what I want to do, what I want for the future, for my life, for my work, etc etc. He seems to be so absent minded and forgetful nowadays that it feels like I married a different man for months than the one I fell in love with. He was so active, considerate and understanding. Idk who this man is anymore other than feeling like I am talking to a wall and who prefers his alone time smoking away his cigarettes more than being with me. Any concern i voice is seen as nagging, even if done in an compassionate and understanding manner (which I admit is hard for me cause I used to have a short fuse but I have worked so hard for it and can’t help but feel resentment. Even if he says he is over it. His actions prove otherwise) and how I should have more understanding for him instead of telling him that he is slacking off. Because then he either leaves again or starts to blame himself to the point where he says I’m better off without him even when I beg him to work on himself cause I see his potential. He just has these bad voices in his head that he lets them take over and it just hurts me to see him like that but I am also very aware that it has affected me for long enough where I feel obligated to take a step back and to really sit with my feelings so I can think about everything that has been happening. Idk anymore aside from reflecting myself....
If you made it this far, thank you for reading! Any tips will be MUCH appreciated and needed!
PS: He said he will come home after work to make some pictures of tools here at my parents place that he made for work. And that if I’m open for discussion that he is open to talk and if not it’s fine by him….
Extra INFO: I’ve been very patient and have seen slight improvement in previous bad habits and tendencies he has when it comes to his behaviour. I am just not a very patient person from nature and I want to nip things in the bud and resolve conflict fast. I feel tired of being the only one coming forward for conflict resolution just to not feel heard and understood. I feel like my partner doesn’t realise how much I swallow before I explode and he runs off…
I’m aware that this isn’t healthy and it’s taking a toll on both of us. I’m just explaining my side considering we have shared expenses and I take care of our savings. Seeing how easily he says “we have 2k left” while I see it as a safety cushion is concerning me. He never used to be like that. When we started dating he had an habit of budgeting. Scheduling his payments etc etc. He was extremely responsible and financially aware! I have tried to talk him into counselling and if marriage counselling is something he is open for? Considering his trauma from childhood he has complex PTSD and doesn’t ever open up. I understand and I always tried my best to make him feel safe and that it’s okay to cry as a man and what not because i genuinely feel bad for him and it hurts to see him like that. He also stated that he cried in front of me for the first time ever and that he never opens up to anyone and he only was able to do so with him so he doesn’t really see how counseling will help… And when I try to plan counselling, something always comes up like now where it gets delayed again.. So we keep postponing it. Plus I have to plan everything. From date nights. To even my own birthday get away. (And I am sorry to say this but even my exes at least got me a birthday cake or flowers??) I may not look the prettiest like when we started dating since I gained some weight after 3 miscarriages and the hormones but I am trying my best to workout. Just to see him be happy for me but not really doing so himself… He does it once or twice and now we both stopped again. It’s like a continuous limbo we are in. I’m really at a loss for words and feel so disassociating and lost. That I’m not sure if I’m just simply the problem…
Household chores wise I do the cooking and vacuuming. He does the laundry (sometimes me too), dishes and cleans the bathroom/ sinks.
I think it’s pretty fair considering he only cooked a few times. But this is just a side note.
submitted by Latte_Macchiato_8 to Marriage [link] [comments]
Today my husband was asking for space while I literally am being met over and over again with the silent treatment on top of the repetitive physical distance (like him saying he needs space but only he knows for how long. But all he said is he needs space). This is everytime I voice how I feel that leads up to an argument or whenever I can’t accept things, it has gotten to the point where I have been begging him to stay. After every single argument, just to see him leave.
Last night was the first time where he was sitting next to me after months of neglect and having to deal with my voices and anxiety alone. On top of disrespecting myself in begging him to stay and seeing him leave though the door over and over again in my head. Hence I couldn’t accept it yesterday. I know this is unfair but I can’t help but think “Why now? Why didn’t you do this before? How dare you? Honestly maybe I like being alone more now even if my thoughts are dark.. etc etc” It’s hard… I am aware that we are humans and I want to give myself grace but I keep fighting. Fighting for his love. While I’m empty yet giving unconditional love. Only to see him walk out of the door multiple times to trigger my abandonment issues. Don’t get me wrong now, he went through hell fire in his childhood too. Got bullied in school for years because of both parents abandoning him and him growing up with his grandparents from his mom’s side. Me too, just that my parents were physically there but emotionally so absent that I always wondered why I’m even here and secretly wished they weren’t so I could at least say that they were absent like he does… Now I am not saying mine is bigger or his is. It’s never a competition of pain. But when it comes to him it feels like it is always justified and he once just pulls away cause needs space and I ALWAYS check up on him. Because I’m aware of this trauma and try to accommodate. This time however I vowed to let him come to me first cause I am TIRED of doing so over a year now and being the person to keep pushing despite being done myself. And then getting punished instead of being appreciated for it. And feeling like he just (doesn’t or?) simply can’t be there for me like that anymore. I feel like it’s selfish of him but idk if I can even claim that cause I see how depressed he looks and behaves…. It’s just a lot and I am extremely confused after being neglected for so long even if it’s “justified” from his side… For now, I am just taking time out to spend with my loved ones since I have been neglecting them for a long time in the process. And taking their word for staying quiet just to see if he will reach out first since they’re aware of the situation and me being the person who always does this.
Financially I am also thinking where all the money goes considering he keeps getting fines and got into an accident twice this past year. Where he had to file for an insurance claim but couldn’t because of the language barrier. I help him with those things now, from mails to paperwork for his fines, and many more.. But it takes such a mental toll on me that I have no energy left to think about what I want to do, what I want for the future, for my life, for my work, etc etc. He seems to be so absent minded and forgetful nowadays that it feels like I married a different man for months than the one I fell in love with. He was so active, considerate and understanding. Idk who this man is anymore other than feeling like I am talking to a wall and who prefers his alone time smoking away his cigarettes more than being with me. Any concern i voice is seen as nagging, even if done in an compassionate and understanding manner (which I admit is hard for me cause I used to have a short fuse but I have worked so hard for it and can’t help but feel resentment. Even if he says he is over it. His actions prove otherwise) and how I should have more understanding for him instead of telling him that he is slacking off. Because then he either leaves again or starts to blame himself to the point where he says I’m better off without him even when I beg him to work on himself cause I see his potential. He just has these bad voices in his head that he lets them take over and it just hurts me to see him like that but I am also very aware that it has affected me for long enough where I feel obligated to take a step back and to really sit with my feelings so I can think about everything that has been happening. Idk anymore aside from reflecting myself....
If you made it this far, thank you for reading! Any tips will be MUCH appreciated and needed!
PS: He said he will come home after work to make some pictures of tools here at my parents place that he made for work. And that if I’m open for discussion that he is open to talk and if not it’s fine by him….
Extra INFO: I’ve been very patient and have seen slight improvement in previous bad habits and tendencies he has when it comes to his behaviour. I am just not a very patient person from nature and I want to nip things in the bud and resolve conflict fast. I feel tired of being the only one coming forward for conflict resolution just to not feel heard and understood. I feel like my partner doesn’t realise how much I swallow before I explode and he runs off…
I’m aware that this isn’t healthy and it’s taking a toll on both of us. I’m just explaining my side considering we have shared expenses and I take care of our savings. Seeing how easily he says “we have 2k left” while I see it as a safety cushion is concerning me. He never used to be like that. When we started dating he had an habit of budgeting. Scheduling his payments etc etc. He was extremely responsible and financially aware! I have tried to talk him into counselling and if marriage counselling is something he is open for? Considering his trauma from childhood he has complex PTSD and doesn’t ever open up. I understand and I always tried my best to make him feel safe and that it’s okay to cry as a man and what not because i genuinely feel bad for him and it hurts to see him like that. He also stated that he cried in front of me for the first time ever and that he never opens up to anyone and he only was able to do so with him so he doesn’t really see how counseling will help… And when I try to plan counselling, something always comes up like now where it gets delayed again.. So we keep postponing it. Plus I have to plan everything. From date nights. To even my own birthday get away. (And I am sorry to say this but even my exes at least got me a birthday cake or flowers??) I may not look the prettiest like when we started dating since I gained some weight after 3 miscarriages and the hormones but I am trying my best to workout. Just to see him be happy for me but not really doing so himself… He does it once or twice and now we both stopped again. It’s like a continuous limbo we are in. I’m really at a loss for words and feel so disassociating and lost. That I’m not sure if I’m just simply the problem…
Household chores wise I do the cooking and vacuuming. He does the laundry (sometimes me too), dishes and cleans the bathroom/ sinks.
I think it’s pretty fair considering he only cooked a few times. But this is just a side note.
2024.05.16 13:04 Mission-Maximum-6161 Fiancé doesn’t understand my worries
I would prefer some religious perspective on this post since I’m a Christian woman (F28) and my fiancé and upcoming husband is a Muslim (30M)
He doesn’t have a problem with my faith because I’m one of the people of the book and he is allowed to marry me
Unfortunately I’m born with a severe and permanent heart condition and my resting saturation is between 80-85% and it decreases with physical activity. So it is a lot lower than normal. My cardiologists have strongly advised against having children and becoming pregnant due to my heart condition. It could make my heart condition worse with all sorts of potential new conditions or even mortality to both me and baby. It could also be passed on the child and cause stillbirth, miscarriages and premature births if my heart condition was milder and if I was able to get pregnant
But my heart condition is very complex and requires monitoring every six months. I can’t take all medications because I’m at higher risk of developing liver failure. My current medication is the only one that has worked for keeping my oxygen levels stable. My condition can’t be cured medically or surgically but the medication helps with stabilizing my oxygen levels so it at least doesn’t get worse.
Unfortunately it doesn’t uptake progesterone very well and I can’t take estrogen either because of the higher risks of blood clots and heart attacks.
But my fiancé still won’t let me get permanently sterilized even though I’ve tried to explain my condition and was honest about the fact that I’m unable to have children. In the beginning he seemed to understand but now it seems like he has an unrealistic idea that I might be able to have children one day. He even agreed to get a vasectomy but now he doesn’t want one and claims he never said he would get one.
I also told him the doctors have said a future surgery would be very invasive and risky to my heart health. More risky than beneficial. But even then he doesn’t seem to get it and still thinks it can be cured one day, but at this point there might be more risks related to pregnancy due to age even if I got it cured and even then it is still risky to my heart health.
It makes me feel like he isn’t honest about wanting children and that he keeps his options open with me because he probably thinks he can’t find anyone else to have children with him due to his own medical problems. So that’s probably why he won’t let me despite knowing the risks and dangers it could pose to my health and life.
Anyone with advice on what to do to make him understand my worries? He normally is very kind and caring about my health but the idea of permanent sterilization just upsets him
tl;dr
submitted by Mission-Maximum-6161 to Marriage [link] [comments]
He doesn’t have a problem with my faith because I’m one of the people of the book and he is allowed to marry me
Unfortunately I’m born with a severe and permanent heart condition and my resting saturation is between 80-85% and it decreases with physical activity. So it is a lot lower than normal. My cardiologists have strongly advised against having children and becoming pregnant due to my heart condition. It could make my heart condition worse with all sorts of potential new conditions or even mortality to both me and baby. It could also be passed on the child and cause stillbirth, miscarriages and premature births if my heart condition was milder and if I was able to get pregnant
But my heart condition is very complex and requires monitoring every six months. I can’t take all medications because I’m at higher risk of developing liver failure. My current medication is the only one that has worked for keeping my oxygen levels stable. My condition can’t be cured medically or surgically but the medication helps with stabilizing my oxygen levels so it at least doesn’t get worse.
Unfortunately it doesn’t uptake progesterone very well and I can’t take estrogen either because of the higher risks of blood clots and heart attacks.
But my fiancé still won’t let me get permanently sterilized even though I’ve tried to explain my condition and was honest about the fact that I’m unable to have children. In the beginning he seemed to understand but now it seems like he has an unrealistic idea that I might be able to have children one day. He even agreed to get a vasectomy but now he doesn’t want one and claims he never said he would get one.
I also told him the doctors have said a future surgery would be very invasive and risky to my heart health. More risky than beneficial. But even then he doesn’t seem to get it and still thinks it can be cured one day, but at this point there might be more risks related to pregnancy due to age even if I got it cured and even then it is still risky to my heart health.
It makes me feel like he isn’t honest about wanting children and that he keeps his options open with me because he probably thinks he can’t find anyone else to have children with him due to his own medical problems. So that’s probably why he won’t let me despite knowing the risks and dangers it could pose to my health and life.
Anyone with advice on what to do to make him understand my worries? He normally is very kind and caring about my health but the idea of permanent sterilization just upsets him
tl;dr
2024.05.16 12:45 SpecialistRegret7258 Biochemical pregnancy versus early miscarriages
Need help trying to figure this out- We've been TTC second baby for the past 3 months or so. Regular cycles 25-27 days bleeding X4 days. No prior GYN/OB Hx. PCOS panel NL this yr. LMP 4/5/24. May cycle never came, and I Got several positive home pregnancy tests on 5/9 which was cycle day 35. Very excited and shared with our parents and siblings. Had no issues conceiving last baby and no prior losses...calculated to be about 5 weeks based on LMP-Was also having some mild nausea, breast tenderness, bloating- same symptoms as last pregnancy... I work in an OBGYN office so I was eager to check my serum levels- But my Serum beta HCG in the office Monday 9/13 was very low... like 16- I called my OBGYN and he said to repeat the beta level on Tuesday- if it's even lower then likely will be a biochemical pregnancy or early miscarriage.
My serum progesterone also has dropped by about 50% with each check-and now serum beta HCG is down to 1- so doubt I had a late ovulation or a viable pregnancy with these levels. No bleeding whatsoever- but don't patients with a biochemical pregnancy usually have a heavier period that essentially comes as planned? In patients who miscarry don't they usually start bleeding pretty quickly with a nonviable pregnancy? It's Thursday now and I still have no bleeding whatsoever. Had some mild cramping yesterday but essentially resolved after some OTC ibuprofen.
The NP in my office and sonographer have offered to do a transvaginal ultrasound on me now to try and see if we can figure out what's going on? I'm 2 weeks late now, so not really sure when to expect the next "period" if this is a pregnancy that still hasn't resolved... IF we scan now Should we still see a corpus luteum in theory if it was an early nonviable IUP? What if it's a blighted ovum or an early ectopic? I'm not scheduled for "first OB appt" until the 28th but I just want to make sure it's nothing to worry about. You can't have an ectopic with a beta that has gone all the way down to 1, right? Any reason I should continue checking HCG levels or hormones at this point? Is it safe to just go ahead and assume I'm not pregnant? Anybody that's had a biochemical pregnancy/blighted ovum/early miscarriage etc. have any experience to guide me? How long after the beta went down to undetectable did you have bleeding? Or get a period? How long is TOO long to go without either seeing bleeding to indicate pregnancy resolution or another cycle?
I don't want to mess things up for future periods or opportunities to get pregnant again. If I go another two weeks and skip a second period, would I need a D&C? Or do a provera withdrawal bleed? Just trying to figure out what this all means.
Thanks for your help
Confused mid 30s mama?
submitted by SpecialistRegret7258 to pregnant [link] [comments]
My serum progesterone also has dropped by about 50% with each check-and now serum beta HCG is down to 1- so doubt I had a late ovulation or a viable pregnancy with these levels. No bleeding whatsoever- but don't patients with a biochemical pregnancy usually have a heavier period that essentially comes as planned? In patients who miscarry don't they usually start bleeding pretty quickly with a nonviable pregnancy? It's Thursday now and I still have no bleeding whatsoever. Had some mild cramping yesterday but essentially resolved after some OTC ibuprofen.
The NP in my office and sonographer have offered to do a transvaginal ultrasound on me now to try and see if we can figure out what's going on? I'm 2 weeks late now, so not really sure when to expect the next "period" if this is a pregnancy that still hasn't resolved... IF we scan now Should we still see a corpus luteum in theory if it was an early nonviable IUP? What if it's a blighted ovum or an early ectopic? I'm not scheduled for "first OB appt" until the 28th but I just want to make sure it's nothing to worry about. You can't have an ectopic with a beta that has gone all the way down to 1, right? Any reason I should continue checking HCG levels or hormones at this point? Is it safe to just go ahead and assume I'm not pregnant? Anybody that's had a biochemical pregnancy/blighted ovum/early miscarriage etc. have any experience to guide me? How long after the beta went down to undetectable did you have bleeding? Or get a period? How long is TOO long to go without either seeing bleeding to indicate pregnancy resolution or another cycle?
I don't want to mess things up for future periods or opportunities to get pregnant again. If I go another two weeks and skip a second period, would I need a D&C? Or do a provera withdrawal bleed? Just trying to figure out what this all means.
Thanks for your help
Confused mid 30s mama?
2024.05.16 10:00 AutoModerator LOSS Community Thread - Thu May 16
** This thread is for CONFIRMED losses only. If you suspect a loss and/or have not received confirmation from your RE, then you must post in the Weekly Results Thread until confirmed **
This thread is a dedicated space for members of infertility experiencing a confirmed loss – be it a blighted ovum/anembryonic pregnancy, chemical, ectopic, molar, miscarriage, stillbirth, TFMR, or infant death. This is the space to come together and find support as you grieve, away from the maelstrom of treatment. This is not to imply that these discussions are not allowed in the treatment thread, but is a focused effort to give an additional space to our members grieving a loss. We have many spaces you can discuss a confirmed loss, but we created this space so you don't have to post where it might be hard to.
Please use this space to vent, cry, talk about how you’re coping, share your loss experience, and ask specific questions pertaining to your loss (either resolved or ongoing). Our rules around mentions of pregnancy, children, and prior success still apply in this thread.
Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.
If you are looking for further specialized support, we recommend you explore the following communities (their wikis include helpful posts on resolving your loss via multiple methods, coping with your loss, ways for you to honor your grief, and much more):
Miscarriage
ttcafterloss
babyloss
/TFMR_support
submitted by AutoModerator to infertility [link] [comments]
This thread is a dedicated space for members of infertility experiencing a confirmed loss – be it a blighted ovum/anembryonic pregnancy, chemical, ectopic, molar, miscarriage, stillbirth, TFMR, or infant death. This is the space to come together and find support as you grieve, away from the maelstrom of treatment. This is not to imply that these discussions are not allowed in the treatment thread, but is a focused effort to give an additional space to our members grieving a loss. We have many spaces you can discuss a confirmed loss, but we created this space so you don't have to post where it might be hard to.
Please use this space to vent, cry, talk about how you’re coping, share your loss experience, and ask specific questions pertaining to your loss (either resolved or ongoing). Our rules around mentions of pregnancy, children, and prior success still apply in this thread.
Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.
If you are looking for further specialized support, we recommend you explore the following communities (their wikis include helpful posts on resolving your loss via multiple methods, coping with your loss, ways for you to honor your grief, and much more):
Miscarriage
ttcafterloss
babyloss
/TFMR_support
2024.05.16 03:11 HudsleyParce Am I doomed?
TW: Miscarriage Mentioned
My husband and I are about to start trying for our 4th pregnancy (hopefully 3rd living child). I have had HG in 3 pregnancies (two full term, one 15 week loss). My HG has gotten worse with each pregnancy.
What are the chances of me getting HG again? Has anyone ever had HG in multiple pregnancies and then went on to not have it? I just want to enjoy a pregnancy but I’m beginning to think that’s not in the cards for me.
Please share your stories even if they aren’t “positive” I just want to know what to expect. TIA!
submitted by HudsleyParce to HyperemesisGravidarum [link] [comments]
My husband and I are about to start trying for our 4th pregnancy (hopefully 3rd living child). I have had HG in 3 pregnancies (two full term, one 15 week loss). My HG has gotten worse with each pregnancy.
What are the chances of me getting HG again? Has anyone ever had HG in multiple pregnancies and then went on to not have it? I just want to enjoy a pregnancy but I’m beginning to think that’s not in the cards for me.
Please share your stories even if they aren’t “positive” I just want to know what to expect. TIA!
2024.05.16 03:11 Glizzy_020 Mentally struggling and having vivid dreams since how to cope?
So on April 14th I found out I was pregnant with my first pregnancy. Wasn’t planned but wasn’t prevented either ( we are adult know of our actions and consequences) I’ve always dreamed of being a mom and my partner will be the best father. Anyway we found out and I was crying with excitement and also nervous because I was terrified I was going to lose my baby( I have a genetic mutation that makes it so my body doesn’t intake folic acid properly and puts me at high risk) but 3 days later I started having some bleeding and cramping but the day before I had my blood HCG which was only showing I was 3ish weeks and so immediately I was crying and saying “ no no no “ then called the nurse hotline and they told me that since I’m so early on the cramping and bleeding could be normal and if I pass any clots bigger than a lemon I need to go to the ER. I didn’t but over the next few days I was super vigilant about going and getting my blood tests done every couple of days. At first they were rising appropriately but still bleeding off and on. but then I started having pain on my right side ( it wasn’t cramping it was higher up felt like bloating and gas) but the ER Dr told me “it’s probably a miscarriage or maybe ectopic but we can’t see because you are to early on” and called my OB and told them they need to check in with me everyday. So then the next day my dr did a progesterone test and it was only at a 5.9 and the dr said “it’s not where it’s supposed to be but let’s put you on progesterone supplements.” And then told me to come back a week later. ( even tho the er dr told them they needed to check in with me more frequently) I go in about a week later and told him I was having some pain and I didn’t know if it was gas or water but my whole abdomen was really hurting and he told me to check with my normal primary physician. He also stated “your hcg isn’t where it should be” but then said he’d watch it still. We saw the gestational sac but still couldn’t see any baby because at this point I was supposedly 5ish near my 6 week mark. Said that was “normal”. After the ultrasound I started having severe cervical pain and just was told it was normal. Went to work in excruciating pain and started having clots so after work I waited for my s/o to get off work and we almost didn’t go to the ER because my OB didn’t really seem concerned with my pain and it honest to god just felt like bloating and gas pain. I thought my bowels were twisted. But we show up at the ER and my Dr came in and basically told me since I was here not even a week ago “ we are just treating symptoms at this point cause we can’t do anything since you are pregnant “ and gave me Tylenol and fluids and told me “this is completely normal and my wife went through excruciating pain where she cried with both of our kids” and just completely invalidated any of my pain. Anyways he did a blood test and then when he came back in he told me my hcg levels weren’t looking normal and that they wanted to do another ultrasound. So we did the ultrasound and after that I the pain worsened extremely and they gave me morphine immediately and that’s when I knew something wasn’t right and then my dr came in and told us that my right fallopian tube ruptured and that it was ectopic and my OB was on his way to do emergency surgery and I was already loopy at that point and felt like everything happened so fast.
since then I’ve been recovering physically okay. But mentally I don’t think I’ve fully processed it. Every night since then I’ve been having terrible vivid nightmares about all of my fears. I’m trying to get back into my day to day life but I find myself so angry at my dr and at the world. Why didn’t my dr realize before. Based off my progesterone and pain and bleeding? Like now that I look back it seems so OBVIOUS and I feel so stupid for listening to my dr. I was holding onto hope that my dr gave us. He didn’t seem concerned. He didn’t say anything and then I got a second opinion from our ultrasound picture and was questioning the dr asking why he didn’t send me to the ER right away because the gestational sac didn’t look right. I just… I’m mentally hurting and I lost apart of me even though I was constantly trying to advocate for myself and my baby. I know it couldn’t have saved my baby but I wish I could’ve had my fallopian tube saved… im just hurt and probably taking it out on every little thing but it’s been so hard to just pretend like nothing happened. I feel guilt for feeling stuck while everyone moves on in their lives. I’ve been just putting on a facade and pretending everything is fine.. idk. It’s just been a rollercoaster I feel like.
submitted by Glizzy_020 to EctopicSupportGroup [link] [comments]
since then I’ve been recovering physically okay. But mentally I don’t think I’ve fully processed it. Every night since then I’ve been having terrible vivid nightmares about all of my fears. I’m trying to get back into my day to day life but I find myself so angry at my dr and at the world. Why didn’t my dr realize before. Based off my progesterone and pain and bleeding? Like now that I look back it seems so OBVIOUS and I feel so stupid for listening to my dr. I was holding onto hope that my dr gave us. He didn’t seem concerned. He didn’t say anything and then I got a second opinion from our ultrasound picture and was questioning the dr asking why he didn’t send me to the ER right away because the gestational sac didn’t look right. I just… I’m mentally hurting and I lost apart of me even though I was constantly trying to advocate for myself and my baby. I know it couldn’t have saved my baby but I wish I could’ve had my fallopian tube saved… im just hurt and probably taking it out on every little thing but it’s been so hard to just pretend like nothing happened. I feel guilt for feeling stuck while everyone moves on in their lives. I’ve been just putting on a facade and pretending everything is fine.. idk. It’s just been a rollercoaster I feel like.
2024.05.16 02:47 yerba-noodle How to prevent hormonal acne with IUD? [acne] [personal]
Hi there, I just got the Kyleena IUD on Monday after much back and forth about whether I wanted it or not. I’ve tried multiple combo pills over the years, most recently Yasmin. I got off because I wanted to give my body a break from hormones and then got a bf naturally and so I’ve been looking into the IUD.
I had nexplanon (arm implant) for a short stint in my early 20s, I’m 25 now, and I hated it. I got the worst cystic acne of my life, so unmanageable that I had to get it removed. I went back on combo pills and it cleared up. I was initially hesitant about getting an IUD because it’s progesterone only which is the same as nexplanon, although it is a much lower dose and localized.
That being said, I went ahead and got it and now I’m so scared my skin is going to freak out. I’m on 25mg of spiro but I’m going to increase to 50 and then maybe 100 if needed. I use a retinol serum at night but going to start using adapalene gel because I think I’ll need something stronger. I’m just wondering if anyone else has had experience with an iud and combatting hormonal acne? After I got off the pill I found out I can’t go back on because I’ve had migraines with aura which puts me at a greater risk for blood clots and stroke. So it’s either hormonal or copper IUD. I decided to take a chance on the hormonal because I really didn’t want nonstop bleeding from the copper.
But does anyone have advice for how to prevent hormonal acne? I know I’ll probably break out a bit as my body adjusts but I just have this fear that it’s going to get as bad as it was on nexplanon and I’m not emotionally prepared for that.
I’m thinking I need to boost my estrogen to combat the influx of progesterone and I’ve heard soy can help with that. I’ve also heard peppermint tea can be helpful, I’ve thought about starting vitamin a supplements.
Any products, prescriptions, routines, diets, supplements, anything you have to share please do I would appreciate it so much!!
submitted by yerba-noodle to SkincareAddiction [link] [comments]
I had nexplanon (arm implant) for a short stint in my early 20s, I’m 25 now, and I hated it. I got the worst cystic acne of my life, so unmanageable that I had to get it removed. I went back on combo pills and it cleared up. I was initially hesitant about getting an IUD because it’s progesterone only which is the same as nexplanon, although it is a much lower dose and localized.
That being said, I went ahead and got it and now I’m so scared my skin is going to freak out. I’m on 25mg of spiro but I’m going to increase to 50 and then maybe 100 if needed. I use a retinol serum at night but going to start using adapalene gel because I think I’ll need something stronger. I’m just wondering if anyone else has had experience with an iud and combatting hormonal acne? After I got off the pill I found out I can’t go back on because I’ve had migraines with aura which puts me at a greater risk for blood clots and stroke. So it’s either hormonal or copper IUD. I decided to take a chance on the hormonal because I really didn’t want nonstop bleeding from the copper.
But does anyone have advice for how to prevent hormonal acne? I know I’ll probably break out a bit as my body adjusts but I just have this fear that it’s going to get as bad as it was on nexplanon and I’m not emotionally prepared for that.
I’m thinking I need to boost my estrogen to combat the influx of progesterone and I’ve heard soy can help with that. I’ve also heard peppermint tea can be helpful, I’ve thought about starting vitamin a supplements.
Any products, prescriptions, routines, diets, supplements, anything you have to share please do I would appreciate it so much!!
2024.05.16 01:43 Anonymous530s Weekly check ups vs declining weekly follow ups
Need a little feedback/advice, maybe half a rant. Got the good news a few days ago that my transfer was successful! This was my first transfer. This is my first pregnancy (that I know of). I've had my first two blood draws and there has been good fed back on my numbers (HCG etc). I've been scheduled for my first scan. In scheduling me, the nurse said "we just need to rule out an ectopic pregnancy so you have to come in as soon as possible." (I had IVF, maybe I'm misinformed but I'm not sure how I'd have an ectopic pregnance after the embryo was placed in my uterus.) While speaking to the nurse she metioned that moving forward I'd be scheduled for weekly follow ups until 11 weeks.
I know, from friends and family that they usually did anywhere from 4-6 week appointments during the first trimester through the OBGYN. I'm assuming that the reason that I'm being asked to come in more frequently was because it's a fertility clinic. My questions is, has anyone appearing to be in good health, with a health pregnancy declined to go that often?
A little background. I've struggled with professionalism and communication of the fertility facility. I only met my actual doctor 1x via virutal visit, just found out that my provider actually left the clinic though she continues to be listed on my forms. Some of the nurses I've come in contact with are QUITE nice. Other providers, have consistently put their foot in their mouths, attempted to gossip about other patients, have continuously confused me with another patient (who I later met). I've been sent the wrong medications.
To give a few examples:
Upon meeting with a specific person, they attempted, I guess to make small talk. I'm choosing to have children as a single parent. I've continuously been asked "how does you husband feel," "do you want to ask your husband before making this choice," and even told "I've seen your charts, the fertility issue isn't with you it's with your husband, you'll easily get pregnant." I stopped correcting them after I corrected this same person and they replied "so you are doing this alone? you know that babies take a lot of work, you sure you can do that? I hope you have supports it's not easy."
Then this morning, when going for my 2nd blood draw a provider came out asked how I was doing and commented loudly in front of other patients how sick I was during transfer. The provider went on to congradulate me on my pregnancy. I confirmed "yes," I was excited (we were in the waiting room). She then says, (seemingly distracted by unknown nurses coming through the room) " do you even want to be pregnant." The individual didn't feel I was excited enough by the news of the pregnancy. It absolutely took me by surprise. I stated my hesitation as I haven't managed to be pregnant before but I have an extensive family history on my maternal side of it being very difficult to get pregnant and stay pregnant. I stated most of my female cousins have had multiple miscarriages with a number of them only able to conceive after use of IVF. They waved me off and said "your numbers are really good, you'll be fine, how are you feeling." I mentioned I had been feeling on and off nausea for the last week. The provider mumble "it's still too early." They then excused themselves and drifted away to speak to someone else.
So, has anyone "graduated" themselves to an obgyn before the recommended 11 weeks? Or if you stayed with the fertility clinic have you declined their weekly follow up requests and gone less frequently?
submitted by Anonymous530s to IVF [link] [comments]
I know, from friends and family that they usually did anywhere from 4-6 week appointments during the first trimester through the OBGYN. I'm assuming that the reason that I'm being asked to come in more frequently was because it's a fertility clinic. My questions is, has anyone appearing to be in good health, with a health pregnancy declined to go that often?
A little background. I've struggled with professionalism and communication of the fertility facility. I only met my actual doctor 1x via virutal visit, just found out that my provider actually left the clinic though she continues to be listed on my forms. Some of the nurses I've come in contact with are QUITE nice. Other providers, have consistently put their foot in their mouths, attempted to gossip about other patients, have continuously confused me with another patient (who I later met). I've been sent the wrong medications.
To give a few examples:
Upon meeting with a specific person, they attempted, I guess to make small talk. I'm choosing to have children as a single parent. I've continuously been asked "how does you husband feel," "do you want to ask your husband before making this choice," and even told "I've seen your charts, the fertility issue isn't with you it's with your husband, you'll easily get pregnant." I stopped correcting them after I corrected this same person and they replied "so you are doing this alone? you know that babies take a lot of work, you sure you can do that? I hope you have supports it's not easy."
Then this morning, when going for my 2nd blood draw a provider came out asked how I was doing and commented loudly in front of other patients how sick I was during transfer. The provider went on to congradulate me on my pregnancy. I confirmed "yes," I was excited (we were in the waiting room). She then says, (seemingly distracted by unknown nurses coming through the room) " do you even want to be pregnant." The individual didn't feel I was excited enough by the news of the pregnancy. It absolutely took me by surprise. I stated my hesitation as I haven't managed to be pregnant before but I have an extensive family history on my maternal side of it being very difficult to get pregnant and stay pregnant. I stated most of my female cousins have had multiple miscarriages with a number of them only able to conceive after use of IVF. They waved me off and said "your numbers are really good, you'll be fine, how are you feeling." I mentioned I had been feeling on and off nausea for the last week. The provider mumble "it's still too early." They then excused themselves and drifted away to speak to someone else.
So, has anyone "graduated" themselves to an obgyn before the recommended 11 weeks? Or if you stayed with the fertility clinic have you declined their weekly follow up requests and gone less frequently?
2024.05.16 00:05 halfofaparty8 How do you cope?
My husband and i have been ttc for about 3 years.
We have finally found a doctor that will help us (been refused due to age, im 21) and in july, start a round of progesterone, then clomid.
Well, ever since we were told about the plan, thats all i can think about. literally it is 100% of my thoughts. (yes, i am neurodivergent). But i know stress is bad.
But (yes, i know this is crazy) ive made a registry (we had one before, but we updated it), weve picked names, all sorts of stuff. Stuff that isnt generally healthy or sane. but im also a big planner and now that there might be a chance, i want to be as prepared as possible.
Everyone else is probably normal and dont relate to this. but any advice helps.
I did start a new hobby over the past few days that gets me off my phone, but i think about our potential kids while i do said hobby. I just want it out of my mind or find healthier ways to cope
submitted by halfofaparty8 to InfertilitySucks [link] [comments]
We have finally found a doctor that will help us (been refused due to age, im 21) and in july, start a round of progesterone, then clomid.
Well, ever since we were told about the plan, thats all i can think about. literally it is 100% of my thoughts. (yes, i am neurodivergent). But i know stress is bad.
But (yes, i know this is crazy) ive made a registry (we had one before, but we updated it), weve picked names, all sorts of stuff. Stuff that isnt generally healthy or sane. but im also a big planner and now that there might be a chance, i want to be as prepared as possible.
Everyone else is probably normal and dont relate to this. but any advice helps.
I did start a new hobby over the past few days that gets me off my phone, but i think about our potential kids while i do said hobby. I just want it out of my mind or find healthier ways to cope
2024.05.15 16:01 SharkEva The age gap is most definitely not the issue /s - AITAH to leave my ex best friend during her pregnancy
I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/hey_itsawonderfulday posting in AITAH
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 22nd January 2024
Update - 6th May 2024
AITAH to leave my ex best friend during her pregnancy
I (25F) had been with my best friend Jessica (24F) for over 5 years, we met while we were both working at McDonald’s when we were both 18, started the same day and became best friends ever since. Even though our lives turned out quite differently, as I ended up finishing my degree and became an account, and Jess became a janitor at the university, I still loved her very very much and we maintained to be our original self as when we were 18.
All this until a year and a half ago, while she’s working at the university, she met this fella “Funnel” who’s 69 years old two years ago and starting to see him romantically. At first I wasn’t a fan of the relationship, as there’s such an age difference. But Jess moved in with him and I started to accept their “relationship” and got to know this Funnel guy….
Funnel has two daughters in their late 40’s and a son in his early 30’s, has grandkids in their late teens and early 20’s. Overall, this guy makes me so uncomfortable as he is quite creepy(?) but hey as long as Jess is happy, I’m happy. About half a year ago, I recognize that Jess’s body changed and asked if had her period, she answered no, so we went and got some pregnancy test. Of course, it came back all positive (all three of them).
She stated that she hasn’t had her period for over two months. When we found out, I offered anything I could possibly think of, driving her as she does not have a car or license, offered her financial assistance as I make significantly more then she does and shelter as I own my house and has spare rooms, as she never paid rent in her life (she lived with her mother before she moved in with the old fella).
I basically told her that whatever she needs I will be there, but first thing first we need to go see a OBGYN. She said yes and I drove her home, two days later I asked if she want to book an appointment and when should I take some time off work to take her to these appointments. She basically told me she had her period and she doesn’t think she is pregnant.
I stated ok we still need to go see a doctor and get you check since it may be a miscarriage, she then basically ghosted me. I tried reaching out multiple times and got 0 answers or reply, her mother even reached out to me to see if I have been in contact with her as she had not been in contact with her for awhile, which is super unusual for her as we are constantly in contact.
I was super worried about her well being as the old fella might be controlling and telling her that she can’t share her pregnancy with anyone, as we live in a small town. After three weeks of trying to contacting her, I gave up and told her that if she doesn’t want my help or want me in her life anymore I will be happy to cut contact with her. No reply. So I blocked her number, her social media.
Now half a year later, I found out she is very pregnant, still living with the old fella that’s probably gonna die sooner than later due to him being an alcoholic and have history of cancer, leaving her with nothing as he does not own anything and lives paycheck to paycheck. AITAH to just leave her knowing that her and the baby will struggle?
Comments
skorvia
NTA
She has what she looked for, she also stopped talking to you, she abandoned you and preferred to stay with an old man twice her age. She stopped talking to you, why should you be the one to come back?
old man almost 3 times her age with grandchildren her age.
**Judgement - NTA*\*
Update - 4 months later
Jess(24) had the baby, and after 10 months of no contact, she reached out.
We went for coffee, and she updated me what happened in those 10 months, and admitted she cut me off on purpose, as she is jealous of my accomplishments. The 70 year old baby daddy is now 71 and he asked not to be on the birth certificate and he’s not, he hid the baby from his family (3 adult kids in their 40s). He was not there during the delivery and didn’t even bother going to the hospital.
She got kicked out of his apartment and living with her abusive mother, where she desperately wanna move out. The reason why she reached out is due to she ran out of money due to her shopping addiction and she now needs support. She asked if she could stay at one of my rental properties for free or if she can borrow some money from me.
It was a pretty easy decision for me, as I told her straight up that I’m not a ATM machine and if she would’ve kept me as a friend 10 months ago I would’ve consider to help her. However, I am still willing to be friends and work on our friendship. She was pretty upset about it and said that since I am so well off I should help her. I told her no again and said we will revisit this conversation again if we maintain friends.
Well, since that conversation I invited her to have lunch and coffee a few times. And stop paying for things and driving her around like I did before.
She pretty much stopped communicating with me immediately.
I guess my question is AITAH to put her out on the streets?
Comments
dheffe01
NTA, its called child support for a reason she needs to get it
the court can compel a DNA test especially if its evident they have been in a relationship
Carolinamama2015
NTA, she has made her choices, just cause she let the babies father off the hook( for truly no good reason) it's not anyone else's job to step up and support her child. She has options. She could've put him on the birth certificate She could file for child support through the courts.
Chaoticgood790
Imagine Fing an old dude and not securing money. Your friend is a few crayons short and all that. She can get a job like everyone else
Guilty-Web7334
Oh, I take it you’re in Canada? At his age, he’d be receiving Canadian pension. Are there survivorship benefits with Canadian Pension plan like there is with US social security? As an aside, though, if she’s low income with no father on record, her Child Tax Benefit will be minimum $600-700/month. So she should be somewhat okay between EI, CTB, and the Baby Bonus. Not rolling in it, but if her mother isn’t making her pay rent/utilities, she should be okay. She just has to not be an idiot.
MtnMoose307
So NTA. I can't recall a post on Reddit where one person could make. so. many. stupid. choices.
Pretty_Little_Mind
She’s a fool if she’s doesn’t file for child support and establishes paternity through the courts. If the man dies while her child is a minor, I would think the child would receive SS benefits. That being said, she does not sound trustworthy or prudent with money.
Uh huh. My first comment stands. And what money? He lives paycheck to paycheck.
I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments
submitted by SharkEva to BORUpdates [link] [comments]
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 22nd January 2024
Update - 6th May 2024
AITAH to leave my ex best friend during her pregnancy
I (25F) had been with my best friend Jessica (24F) for over 5 years, we met while we were both working at McDonald’s when we were both 18, started the same day and became best friends ever since. Even though our lives turned out quite differently, as I ended up finishing my degree and became an account, and Jess became a janitor at the university, I still loved her very very much and we maintained to be our original self as when we were 18.
All this until a year and a half ago, while she’s working at the university, she met this fella “Funnel” who’s 69 years old two years ago and starting to see him romantically. At first I wasn’t a fan of the relationship, as there’s such an age difference. But Jess moved in with him and I started to accept their “relationship” and got to know this Funnel guy….
Funnel has two daughters in their late 40’s and a son in his early 30’s, has grandkids in their late teens and early 20’s. Overall, this guy makes me so uncomfortable as he is quite creepy(?) but hey as long as Jess is happy, I’m happy. About half a year ago, I recognize that Jess’s body changed and asked if had her period, she answered no, so we went and got some pregnancy test. Of course, it came back all positive (all three of them).
She stated that she hasn’t had her period for over two months. When we found out, I offered anything I could possibly think of, driving her as she does not have a car or license, offered her financial assistance as I make significantly more then she does and shelter as I own my house and has spare rooms, as she never paid rent in her life (she lived with her mother before she moved in with the old fella).
I basically told her that whatever she needs I will be there, but first thing first we need to go see a OBGYN. She said yes and I drove her home, two days later I asked if she want to book an appointment and when should I take some time off work to take her to these appointments. She basically told me she had her period and she doesn’t think she is pregnant.
I stated ok we still need to go see a doctor and get you check since it may be a miscarriage, she then basically ghosted me. I tried reaching out multiple times and got 0 answers or reply, her mother even reached out to me to see if I have been in contact with her as she had not been in contact with her for awhile, which is super unusual for her as we are constantly in contact.
I was super worried about her well being as the old fella might be controlling and telling her that she can’t share her pregnancy with anyone, as we live in a small town. After three weeks of trying to contacting her, I gave up and told her that if she doesn’t want my help or want me in her life anymore I will be happy to cut contact with her. No reply. So I blocked her number, her social media.
Now half a year later, I found out she is very pregnant, still living with the old fella that’s probably gonna die sooner than later due to him being an alcoholic and have history of cancer, leaving her with nothing as he does not own anything and lives paycheck to paycheck. AITAH to just leave her knowing that her and the baby will struggle?
Comments
skorvia
NTA
She has what she looked for, she also stopped talking to you, she abandoned you and preferred to stay with an old man twice her age. She stopped talking to you, why should you be the one to come back?
OOP: I guess I just want to get through her what she’s signing up for if she does not have any support, she hates her mother and has no other friends.redditreader_aitafan
old man almost 3 times her age with grandchildren her age.
**Judgement - NTA*\*
Update - 4 months later
Jess(24) had the baby, and after 10 months of no contact, she reached out.
We went for coffee, and she updated me what happened in those 10 months, and admitted she cut me off on purpose, as she is jealous of my accomplishments. The 70 year old baby daddy is now 71 and he asked not to be on the birth certificate and he’s not, he hid the baby from his family (3 adult kids in their 40s). He was not there during the delivery and didn’t even bother going to the hospital.
She got kicked out of his apartment and living with her abusive mother, where she desperately wanna move out. The reason why she reached out is due to she ran out of money due to her shopping addiction and she now needs support. She asked if she could stay at one of my rental properties for free or if she can borrow some money from me.
It was a pretty easy decision for me, as I told her straight up that I’m not a ATM machine and if she would’ve kept me as a friend 10 months ago I would’ve consider to help her. However, I am still willing to be friends and work on our friendship. She was pretty upset about it and said that since I am so well off I should help her. I told her no again and said we will revisit this conversation again if we maintain friends.
Well, since that conversation I invited her to have lunch and coffee a few times. And stop paying for things and driving her around like I did before.
She pretty much stopped communicating with me immediately.
I guess my question is AITAH to put her out on the streets?
Comments
dheffe01
NTA, its called child support for a reason she needs to get it
OOP: Can she get child support if he’s not on the birth certificate?dheffe01
the court can compel a DNA test especially if its evident they have been in a relationship
Carolinamama2015
NTA, she has made her choices, just cause she let the babies father off the hook( for truly no good reason) it's not anyone else's job to step up and support her child. She has options. She could've put him on the birth certificate She could file for child support through the courts.
OOP: I feel bad for the baby as he would be high risk for health problems in the future due to the father’s old age.
Chaoticgood790
Imagine Fing an old dude and not securing money. Your friend is a few crayons short and all that. She can get a job like everyone else
OOP: She had a job as a janitor, but now on EI (employment Insurance) due to maternity leave.
Guilty-Web7334
Oh, I take it you’re in Canada? At his age, he’d be receiving Canadian pension. Are there survivorship benefits with Canadian Pension plan like there is with US social security? As an aside, though, if she’s low income with no father on record, her Child Tax Benefit will be minimum $600-700/month. So she should be somewhat okay between EI, CTB, and the Baby Bonus. Not rolling in it, but if her mother isn’t making her pay rent/utilities, she should be okay. She just has to not be an idiot.
OOP: Yes, I am in Canada. He has pension, old age pension, Canadian pension plan AND income from working. She has Child Benefits which is $660 per month. EI which is $800 something bi-weekly (or weekly). But she has shopping addiction, each time we go out she spends $200 on random stuff like new clothes or jewelries. No child support from baby daddy so far tho.
MtnMoose307
So NTA. I can't recall a post on Reddit where one person could make. so. many. stupid. choices.
OOP: I think she made these decisions due to no life experience, she’s 24 turning 25 now. But never paid rent or have a drivers license.
Pretty_Little_Mind
She’s a fool if she’s doesn’t file for child support and establishes paternity through the courts. If the man dies while her child is a minor, I would think the child would receive SS benefits. That being said, she does not sound trustworthy or prudent with money.
OOP: She said the guy “promised” to leave some money in his will. Nothing is written down obviously.Pretty_Little_Mind
Uh huh. My first comment stands. And what money? He lives paycheck to paycheck.
OOP: I’m just waiting to see when she would realize that he’s not paying.
I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments
2024.05.15 12:23 rusticgorilla Republicans reject abortion exceptions for child rape victims, create abortion registries, and ban possession of abortion medication
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The first bill, HB 2436, makes it a crime to “coerce” someone into having an abortion. Democrats attempted to widen the scope of the bill to include all kinds of reproductive coercion, like pressuring someone to become or stay pregnant and prohibiting their access to birth control, and enshrine a right to “reproductive autonomy.” Republicans voted down the amendment.
The second bill, HB 2749, requires medical facilities and providers to (1) ask patients their reason for having an abortion and (2) report the data, including personal information about the patient, to the legislature every other year. Gov. Laura Kelly (D) agreed with the objections of Democrats and reproductive rights advocates, saying when she vetoed the bill that there is “no valid reason to force a woman to disclose to the legislature why she is seeking an abortion.”
Earlier this month, the Louisiana House took up a bill passed by the Senate that would make it a crime, punishable by jail time, to possess abortion-inducing medication. SB 276, sponsored by 23 Republicans and one Democrat, was initially written to create a punishment for coercing someone into an abortion without their knowledge or consent (e.g. spiking a drink). However, House legislators recently added an amendment to the bill that classifies mifepristone and misoprostol as Schedule IV substances alongside some opioids and benzodiazepines. A pregnant person possessing the drugs for their own use could not be charged, but others who intend to distribute them to pregnant people seeking an abortion or store them for their own potential future use would face up to ten years in prison.
The man, Collin Davis, filed a petition in a state district court seeking permission to launch legal depositions to collect evidence for a potential lawsuit under a Texas law that contains civil liability for anyone who “aids and abets” an abortion. According to his lawyer, Jonathan Mitchell (who crafted the anti-abortion law), Davis is seeking to sue “co-conspirators and accomplices…involved in the murder of [his] unborn child.”
The case, brought by Hoosier Jews for Choice and four anonymous women of various faiths, alleges that the ban interferes with “their sincere religious beliefs that require and direct them to obtain abortions” criminalized since the law took effect in 2023. According to Jewish law, a fetus does not have personhood until birth, and abortion is required if the pregnancy endangers the life or health of the mother.
The state argued that abortion does not carry “religious significance” and, even if it did, the abortion ban satisfies strict scrutiny because it is “sufficiently narrowly tailored” to “further the State’s interest” in “protecting human lives in the womb.” Throughout Indiana’s brief, the state attempts to use science to back up fetal personhood, extending developmental physiology to make unfounded claims that protected life unquestionably begins at conception:
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Kansas
Despite voters overwhelmingly rejecting a constitutional amendment that would have allowed abortion restrictions in the state, Kansas Republicans passed several anti-abortion bills into law late last month, overriding the governor’s veto.The first bill, HB 2436, makes it a crime to “coerce” someone into having an abortion. Democrats attempted to widen the scope of the bill to include all kinds of reproductive coercion, like pressuring someone to become or stay pregnant and prohibiting their access to birth control, and enshrine a right to “reproductive autonomy.” Republicans voted down the amendment.
The second bill, HB 2749, requires medical facilities and providers to (1) ask patients their reason for having an abortion and (2) report the data, including personal information about the patient, to the legislature every other year. Gov. Laura Kelly (D) agreed with the objections of Democrats and reproductive rights advocates, saying when she vetoed the bill that there is “no valid reason to force a woman to disclose to the legislature why she is seeking an abortion.”
- Democrats offered numerous amendments to HB 2749, including one to require men to report to the legislature their reasons for having a vasectomy and another requiring men to report why they are seeking treatment for erectile dysfunction. Republicans rejected all of them.
Louisiana
Louisiana’s legislature is doubling down on its anti-abortion laws, passing bills to increase criminalization and refusing to add exemptions to its abortion ban.Earlier this month, the Louisiana House took up a bill passed by the Senate that would make it a crime, punishable by jail time, to possess abortion-inducing medication. SB 276, sponsored by 23 Republicans and one Democrat, was initially written to create a punishment for coercing someone into an abortion without their knowledge or consent (e.g. spiking a drink). However, House legislators recently added an amendment to the bill that classifies mifepristone and misoprostol as Schedule IV substances alongside some opioids and benzodiazepines. A pregnant person possessing the drugs for their own use could not be charged, but others who intend to distribute them to pregnant people seeking an abortion or store them for their own potential future use would face up to ten years in prison.
“Neither is a drug of abuse or dependence, and that is what the controlled drug schedule is for,” said [emergency room Dr. Jennifer] Avegno of the abortion drugs. “It makes no scientific or medical sense to put these drugs in the same category as Xanax or Valium.”A week later, Republicans on the House Criminal Justice Committee voted 7-4 to reject a bill to add rape and incest exceptions to the state’s total abortion ban. House Bill 164, written by Democratic Rep. Delisha Boyd, would have allowed girls younger than 17 to have abortions if they became pregnant as the result of sexual assault.
Mifepristone is a drug that blocks a hormone called progesterone, which is necessary for a pregnancy to continue. Misoprostol causes uterine contractions, causing the body to expel the pregnancy tissue. Mifepristone is also used to treat Cushing’s disease, a hormonal disorder. Misoprostol is also used to induce labor, manage a miscarriage and in the treatment of ulcers. Neither are addictive. “People do not go around taking them and getting dependent and having bad outcomes because of it,” said Avegno. “It’s like saying your blood pressure medicine or insulin is a drug of abuse.”
“That baby [in the womb] is innocent … We have to hang on to that,” said committee member Rep. Dodie Horton, R-Haughton, who voted against the bill. Rep. Lauren Ventrella, R-Greenwell Spring, also voted against the legislation, saying the proposed law would be difficult to enforce. Teenagers who had consensual sex might feign rape or incest in order to get access to abortion services, she suggested…The Committee also killed three other bills: HB 56, to allow abortions in cases of spontaneous miscarriage or nonviable pregnancy; HB 63, to clarify that the removal of an ectopic pregnancy is not an abortion under state law; HB 293, to add protection for physicians who do not intend to induce abortion by prescribing certain medications.
Dr. Neelima Sukhavasi, a Baton Rouge doctor specializing in obstetrics and gynecology, also implored the lawmakers to approve Boyd’s proposal. She and her colleagues have delivered babies for pregnant teenagers, including mothers as young as 13, since Louisiana’s abortion ban went into effect two years ago. These young pregnant people can experience health complications that affect them for the rest of their lives, Sukhavasi said, and sometimes don’t have the mental capacity to handle the births. “One of these teenagers delivered a baby while clutching a teddy bear,” she told the committee.
Texas
Meanwhile, in Texas—a state that pioneered the war on women and reproductive rights—a man initiated legal action to sue people who helped his former partner obtain an out-of-state abortion.The man, Collin Davis, filed a petition in a state district court seeking permission to launch legal depositions to collect evidence for a potential lawsuit under a Texas law that contains civil liability for anyone who “aids and abets” an abortion. According to his lawyer, Jonathan Mitchell (who crafted the anti-abortion law), Davis is seeking to sue “co-conspirators and accomplices…involved in the murder of [his] unborn child.”
“Fathers of aborted fetuses can sue for wrongful death in states with abortion bans, even if the abortion occurs out-of-state,” he wrote. “They can sue anyone who paid for the abortion, anyone who aided or abetted the travel, and anyone involved in the manufacture or distribution of abortion drugs.”Mitchell also represents a different man who pursued a similar claim last year: Marcus Silva engaged Mitchell to sue the friends of his estranged wife for allegedly helping her obtain abortion pills. Evidence later revealed that Silva knew about the plans beforehand and did not intervene, likely intending to use the threat of legal action as a way of forcing his partner to halt divorce proceedings.
Molly Duane, a senior staff attorney with the Center for Reproductive Rights, described Mitchell’s statement and general approach as misleading “fearmongering.”
“People need to understand that it is not a crime to leave Texas or any other state in the country for an abortion,” said Duane, who is working with lawyers from the firm Arnold & Porter to represent the woman and others targeted in the Davis case. “I don’t want people to be intimidated, but they should be outraged and alarmed.” Duane described the woman’s relationship with Davis as “toxic and harmful.”
Monday’s counterclaim illustrates, in painstaking detail, exactly how Silva—aided by Mitchell—allegedly deployed this tactic. It was only after Brittni’s abortion was complete that Silva revealed he knew about the plan and, according to the lawsuit, threatened to turn her in if she didn’t submit to his continued abuse. He even showed the police photographs of messages discussing the possibility of an abortion. “Once I finally got home with the girls he had been drinking and he told me that he knew,” Brittni texted one friend. “He’s using it against me.” In another message, she wrote, “Now he’s saying if I don’t give him my ‘mind body and soul’ until the end of the divorce, which he’s going to drag out, he’s going to make sure I go to jail for doing it.” […]
The counterclaim points out another flaw in his argument: Silva himself “is responsible for the alleged injury for which he seeks to recover.” He “knew that Brittni planned to terminate her alleged pregnancy and acquiesced in accepting Brittni’s actions,” so “it would be unconscionable to permit him to benefit by changing his position now.” His claims, in short, are barred “by unclean hands,” because he effectively entrapped his estranged wife—covertly discovering her plan to terminate the pregnancy, then allowing her to go through with it for the express purpose of blackmailing her into staying with him.
Indiana
A three-judge panel of the Indiana Court of Appeals last month unanimously recognized a religious freedom challenge to the state’s complete ban on abortion.The case, brought by Hoosier Jews for Choice and four anonymous women of various faiths, alleges that the ban interferes with “their sincere religious beliefs that require and direct them to obtain abortions” criminalized since the law took effect in 2023. According to Jewish law, a fetus does not have personhood until birth, and abortion is required if the pregnancy endangers the life or health of the mother.
Brief of Hoosier Jews for Choice (and other plaintiffs): As indicated by the declarations of numerous rabbis, Judaism teaches that a fetus becomes a living person only at birth, and prior to that is considered part of the woman’s body, without independent rights. Abortion should occur and is mandated to end a pregnancy that may cause serious consequences to a woman’s mental or physical heath. Judaism also recognizes that physical health risks are not limited to those likely to cause substantial and irreversible impairment of a major bodily function. Judaism stresses the necessity of protecting the physical and mental health of the woman—a life—over the potential for life present in a zygote, embryo, or fetus. Therefore, restrictions that prevent a woman from obtaining an abortion where compelled by Jewish law, which mandates that the woman act to protect her physical or mental health, impose a substantial burden on that person’s religious exercise.Under Indiana’s Religious Freedom Restoration Act (RFRA), “a governmental entity may not substantially burden a personʹs exercise of religion,” defined to include “any exercise of religion, whether or not compelled by, or central to, a system of religious belief.” This means that arguments about whether plaintiffs are strictly observant are irrelevant; the law protects sincerely held religious views regardless of whether that view is idiosyncratic or unorthodox. However, even a law that imposes a substantial burden on the exercise of religion can be enforced if it is “the least restrictive means of furthering [a] compelling governmental interest” (the strict scrutiny test).
The state argued that abortion does not carry “religious significance” and, even if it did, the abortion ban satisfies strict scrutiny because it is “sufficiently narrowly tailored” to “further the State’s interest” in “protecting human lives in the womb.” Throughout Indiana’s brief, the state attempts to use science to back up fetal personhood, extending developmental physiology to make unfounded claims that protected life unquestionably begins at conception:
In lower courts, the State’s compelling interest is not up for debate. In Cheaney v. State, the Indiana Supreme Court held that the State’s interest in protecting unborn children is “valid and compelling” from “the moment of conception.” …A basic understanding of biology supports these holdings. “That human fetuses are human beings is a scientific fact, not a theological claim.” Regardless whether an individual person believes this, “the scientific consensus” is that “[d]evelopment begins at fertilization,” after which the newly created “unicellular zygote divides many times and becomes progressively transformed into a multicellular human being through cell division, migration, growth, and differentiation.” …. Science thus tells us that “[t]he act of performing an induced abortion during any stage of pregnancy, from fertilization up to birth, ends the life of an innocent human being.” The State’s interest in protecting unborn fetal life at any stage from intentional destruction accordingly is nothing less than “compelling.”A panel of the Indiana Court of Appeals—made up of a Republican appointee and two Democratic appointees—unanimously ruled against the state, upholding a lower court’s injunction against the abortion ban as it applies to the plaintiffs. In the process, the court laid out a path for religious freedom challenges to abortion bans in other states and at the federal level.
The trial court found that absent a preliminary injunction, Plaintiffs would be irreparably harmed by the loss of their religious freedoms guaranteed by RFRA. A loss of First Amendment freedoms, which include the right to free exercise of religion, “for even minimal periods of time, unquestionably constitutes irreparable injury.”... Without a preliminary injunction, Plaintiffs will suffer the loss of their right to exercise their sincere religious beliefs by obtaining an abortion when directed by their religion and prohibited by the Abortion Law. They also have shown their sexual and reproductive lives will continue to be restricted absent the injunction and as a result of the Abortion Law.
- Briefs can be found under case number 22A-PL-2938 on Indiana’s Appellate docket
2024.05.15 10:00 AutoModerator LOSS Community Thread - Wed May 15
** This thread is for CONFIRMED losses only. If you suspect a loss and/or have not received confirmation from your RE, then you must post in the Weekly Results Thread until confirmed **
This thread is a dedicated space for members of infertility experiencing a confirmed loss – be it a blighted ovum/anembryonic pregnancy, chemical, ectopic, molar, miscarriage, stillbirth, TFMR, or infant death. This is the space to come together and find support as you grieve, away from the maelstrom of treatment. This is not to imply that these discussions are not allowed in the treatment thread, but is a focused effort to give an additional space to our members grieving a loss. We have many spaces you can discuss a confirmed loss, but we created this space so you don't have to post where it might be hard to.
Please use this space to vent, cry, talk about how you’re coping, share your loss experience, and ask specific questions pertaining to your loss (either resolved or ongoing). Our rules around mentions of pregnancy, children, and prior success still apply in this thread.
Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.
If you are looking for further specialized support, we recommend you explore the following communities (their wikis include helpful posts on resolving your loss via multiple methods, coping with your loss, ways for you to honor your grief, and much more):
Miscarriage
ttcafterloss
babyloss
/TFMR_support
submitted by AutoModerator to infertility [link] [comments]
This thread is a dedicated space for members of infertility experiencing a confirmed loss – be it a blighted ovum/anembryonic pregnancy, chemical, ectopic, molar, miscarriage, stillbirth, TFMR, or infant death. This is the space to come together and find support as you grieve, away from the maelstrom of treatment. This is not to imply that these discussions are not allowed in the treatment thread, but is a focused effort to give an additional space to our members grieving a loss. We have many spaces you can discuss a confirmed loss, but we created this space so you don't have to post where it might be hard to.
Please use this space to vent, cry, talk about how you’re coping, share your loss experience, and ask specific questions pertaining to your loss (either resolved or ongoing). Our rules around mentions of pregnancy, children, and prior success still apply in this thread.
Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.
If you are looking for further specialized support, we recommend you explore the following communities (their wikis include helpful posts on resolving your loss via multiple methods, coping with your loss, ways for you to honor your grief, and much more):
Miscarriage
ttcafterloss
babyloss
/TFMR_support
2024.05.15 01:34 Rude_Temperature4845 Breakup
I was with my ex for a year before he broke up with me. Mine F (22) and he’s M (24). During our honeymoon stage we was so in love and enjoyed each other company. We met in late November and we were friends with benefits. We use to hang iut together. We use to sleep in my car to be together. No clothes and just a blanket. We didn’t care as long as we had each other. We were fine. When we were together we didn’t see no one but each other. I got pregnant in December and got a abortion in march. We already had a kid on the way and he wasn’t ready to have another one. He didn’t have a car, he worked at food lion, he had a apartment, and he didn’t have much. I didn’t want to the abortion but it was the best decision at the time for us. I use to help him get his son and pick me up. I picked him up from work, pick him uo from interviews, helped him get a new phone when his old ine got messed up. I always helped him out in anyway and form. This was in the beginning of 2022.
We moved from the situation. We talked about it and were happy. We moved in together in October 2022. It was the worst and happiest decision ever. The beginning was fun. We stayed up late and watched movies. We did normal young couple stuff. I loved it because i got to be around him 24/7 with no one else beside his son. We were a little family. He would go out with his friends but he would always come back home late. He would always be the designated driver when they go out. None of his friends had a car so they used him. I didn’t like it and I told him I didn’t, they used him when it benefit them. He always worked overtime and was always at work to provide for us. I was conplain about us spending some time together like on the weekends but he was too tired from work and he would rather hang out with his friends. This went on for months. He invited people over who I didn’t know and he didn’t tell me. When he went on a trip to Atlanta, he needed helped getting back. His friends that were in his car didn’t have money and therir parents didn’t give him money for gas. He called me and told me to give him $100 dollars to get home. We started to fuss. I told him i’m not there to help him and he need to figure it out his self. He got mad and started to get loud at me about the money. I understand he was stressed and pissed about it but i gave him money to get there for gas and food and i gave him some money before he left. He should’ve had enough money. When i went on my trip he didn’t give me no money.
My birthday last year he broke up with me over stupid stuff. He layed around on my birthday and didn’t care. He got mad about it. I took him out and went to cheddars and I paid for it. I cried in the restaurant. He lied multiple times about why he did it. I cried for the whole month of august because i felt like i was not good enough for him. He went out every weekend with friends and ignored me. He only used me for sex. I cried to him and he looked at me like i was stupid and i made him bored. I was unhappy that whole month but he didn’t care. I went on a trip with my family, I was miserable but I faked it for my fmaily. He was out with friends when i was gone. He didn’t care. We were broken up for 2 weeks. He tried to get back with me but i said no. We got back together so way.
I got pregnant in October of 2023. He was unhappy about the baby. He wasn’t ready. He said he wanted to travel, get a house, build his self, grow and more. I was sad because i knew what he wanted me to do. He told me he wanted me to get a abortion. My last abortion made me depressed and sad. I got tired of it. Our lease was ending in November 2023. We both went back home. I was pregnant and emotionally. I needed him.
For two moths we were happy and excited to grow our family. We still had problems. He still went out with his friends. He went out with some girl and her mom to get me a Christmas. He never got me nothing. The last gift he got me was valentines day in 2022. He came to my house, I was mad. I told him i didn’t like her and that he need to stop talking to her. I told him, she likes him but he didn’t believe me. He said that’s his friend. One day she facetime him when he was getting a haircut. I ignored it but i thought about answering. I never trusted their relationship there. I still don’t.
Christmas eve, we was going out to eat. We came to my house to chill. I got out the care i felt like it was my time of the mont. I looked down and saw blood. I got scared and told my family. They told us to go to the hospital to see what’s going on. We went and waited for hours. I was scared but i tried not to show it. I knew it wasn’t normal to bleed when your pregnant. Wewent to get a ultrasound and the whole time i was scared. My boyfriend at the time cane with me (my ex). She didn’t say nothing when checking my baby. But at the end of the ultrasound she said she was fine and healthy. I was happy. Then we went to a room to talk to a doctor. They thought I had something so they gave me medicine for it but I was worried about the blood. But they said it would go away on its on. We were the last people to leave the hospital and we were tired.
For about a whole week of Christmas week, I bled. I was worried because it lasted too long. I told my family about my concerns. I couldn’t go see a doctor because of christmas and every one was out of work.
My boyfriend ( my ex) took me out for new years eve, we went to juicy crab. We fussed a little about dumb stuff. After he drop me off, he went to a party with friends. I just wanted to spend time with him. We didn’t live together anymore and i missed him. The next day I felt like i was in intense pain. It felt like i was on my period. It started at 6 in the morning and it lasted all day. I was throwing up and bleeding. I called my then boyfriend to come get me. He called the ambulance. He saw my bathroom and he was terrified. I felt weak and i could barely keep my eyes open.
I was still in pain when i got to the hospital. My family came to check up on me. I was too weak to care about my self and in pain to focus. They told me, my baby was trying to come out early. I was having a miscarriage. I was in the hospital for 5 days. I lost my baby girl on the third day. I was sad and i just wanted my boyfriend. He only came two days. He would go to work and then come stay the night with me. He still didn’t have a car. I cried every night when left alone. My mom kept me company when he wasn’t there. He called and texted me through out the day when he was at work. My last day at the hospital, i was ready to go home and get in my own bed. He didn’t text or called me on my last day. I had to tell his friend i was leaving the hospital to tell him. I felt sad because my boyfriend didn’t care about me or was checking up on me. We fussed about him not being there with me. He got mad that i didn’t let him drive my car to get to work and come see me at night. My parents would’ve fussed me out if i gave him my car to use. They told me not to give him my car.
That Saturday he was acting weird to me. He didn’t text or call me. He went out with friends to look at apartments a hour away. He didn’t tell me until the day of. We had two plan to when he have out baby girl. The first one was to move to raleigh and the second one was to wait until she was one to be able to talk and walk to move to raleigh. And we wanted her to be around family. I didn’t know he was still planning to move after everything. He was moving with his friends. I was sad he was moving on. I always got jealous when he would bond with his son. Everytime he was around me, he would call him friends to talk about the big move and what they was going to do. I cried because he didn’t care about me or my baby, he was moving on. It hurt that he never consider my feelings about everything and how i felt about it.
For three months, he treated me like shit. He would ignore my call and text messages. He acted like I didn’t exist. But he still would keep me around to use me to help him out. Helped him get to Raleigh to help his brother with his moving company, help him to get to work and more. I felt alone and depressed. I was going through postpartum. I wrote him a letter about everything from us to our baby girl. He didn’t acre about it. It took him a 2 week to read. I just wanted him to hold me and tell him everything was going to be alright. Everytime he was around me he jsut wanted sex. I took him to Raleigh to look at cars for him. He saw car he wnated and it was his dream car. A 2021 dodge charger. He only had $1,000 in his saving. Because he spent most of his saving trying to fix his other car that his friend he stayed with messed up. They wanted him to put down more on it. He looked at me and asked could i put down $650. I didn’t wnat to help him becashe never helped me and he treate me like shit after i lost our baby. Eventually i said yes i would put the money down to get the car. He needed insurance to get the car too so i put him on mines. I did too much for him. His birthday was days before he got his car. He was happy and i was happy to see i caused it. We just losted our baby so we both were going through it.
He posted on facebook and instagram like i wasn’t there or helped him get the car. I was mad because he didn’t acknowledge me or anything. But quick to act like he got it on his own. I loved him to death. He still treated me like shit afterwards. He didn’t care. He just used me. He was suppose to help me pay for my lawyer but he only gave me $200. My lawyer fees in total cost was $750. I paid all of it by myself. He still haven’t paid me.
Now he talking to different girls and partying. That’s what he wanted from the beginning. He was never ready to have a family with me. He still lie to me and tell me he see his self with me. and that he doesn’t care about me. I hide all our pictures and I delete our text messages. Everything felt like a lie with him. Nothing felt true or real.
I don’t want to get my feelings evolved with another person to hurt me emotionally. I don’t want to feel the same way i did with him for the past 8 months. I wasn’t myself. I don’t love him the same or see him as my lover. He feel like a stranger in his body. I still wanted us to start over and have a better start in life. I miss him and love him still. But i’m not going to wait around for him to come back to me.
submitted by Rude_Temperature4845 to BreakUps [link] [comments]
We moved from the situation. We talked about it and were happy. We moved in together in October 2022. It was the worst and happiest decision ever. The beginning was fun. We stayed up late and watched movies. We did normal young couple stuff. I loved it because i got to be around him 24/7 with no one else beside his son. We were a little family. He would go out with his friends but he would always come back home late. He would always be the designated driver when they go out. None of his friends had a car so they used him. I didn’t like it and I told him I didn’t, they used him when it benefit them. He always worked overtime and was always at work to provide for us. I was conplain about us spending some time together like on the weekends but he was too tired from work and he would rather hang out with his friends. This went on for months. He invited people over who I didn’t know and he didn’t tell me. When he went on a trip to Atlanta, he needed helped getting back. His friends that were in his car didn’t have money and therir parents didn’t give him money for gas. He called me and told me to give him $100 dollars to get home. We started to fuss. I told him i’m not there to help him and he need to figure it out his self. He got mad and started to get loud at me about the money. I understand he was stressed and pissed about it but i gave him money to get there for gas and food and i gave him some money before he left. He should’ve had enough money. When i went on my trip he didn’t give me no money.
My birthday last year he broke up with me over stupid stuff. He layed around on my birthday and didn’t care. He got mad about it. I took him out and went to cheddars and I paid for it. I cried in the restaurant. He lied multiple times about why he did it. I cried for the whole month of august because i felt like i was not good enough for him. He went out every weekend with friends and ignored me. He only used me for sex. I cried to him and he looked at me like i was stupid and i made him bored. I was unhappy that whole month but he didn’t care. I went on a trip with my family, I was miserable but I faked it for my fmaily. He was out with friends when i was gone. He didn’t care. We were broken up for 2 weeks. He tried to get back with me but i said no. We got back together so way.
I got pregnant in October of 2023. He was unhappy about the baby. He wasn’t ready. He said he wanted to travel, get a house, build his self, grow and more. I was sad because i knew what he wanted me to do. He told me he wanted me to get a abortion. My last abortion made me depressed and sad. I got tired of it. Our lease was ending in November 2023. We both went back home. I was pregnant and emotionally. I needed him.
For two moths we were happy and excited to grow our family. We still had problems. He still went out with his friends. He went out with some girl and her mom to get me a Christmas. He never got me nothing. The last gift he got me was valentines day in 2022. He came to my house, I was mad. I told him i didn’t like her and that he need to stop talking to her. I told him, she likes him but he didn’t believe me. He said that’s his friend. One day she facetime him when he was getting a haircut. I ignored it but i thought about answering. I never trusted their relationship there. I still don’t.
Christmas eve, we was going out to eat. We came to my house to chill. I got out the care i felt like it was my time of the mont. I looked down and saw blood. I got scared and told my family. They told us to go to the hospital to see what’s going on. We went and waited for hours. I was scared but i tried not to show it. I knew it wasn’t normal to bleed when your pregnant. Wewent to get a ultrasound and the whole time i was scared. My boyfriend at the time cane with me (my ex). She didn’t say nothing when checking my baby. But at the end of the ultrasound she said she was fine and healthy. I was happy. Then we went to a room to talk to a doctor. They thought I had something so they gave me medicine for it but I was worried about the blood. But they said it would go away on its on. We were the last people to leave the hospital and we were tired.
For about a whole week of Christmas week, I bled. I was worried because it lasted too long. I told my family about my concerns. I couldn’t go see a doctor because of christmas and every one was out of work.
My boyfriend ( my ex) took me out for new years eve, we went to juicy crab. We fussed a little about dumb stuff. After he drop me off, he went to a party with friends. I just wanted to spend time with him. We didn’t live together anymore and i missed him. The next day I felt like i was in intense pain. It felt like i was on my period. It started at 6 in the morning and it lasted all day. I was throwing up and bleeding. I called my then boyfriend to come get me. He called the ambulance. He saw my bathroom and he was terrified. I felt weak and i could barely keep my eyes open.
I was still in pain when i got to the hospital. My family came to check up on me. I was too weak to care about my self and in pain to focus. They told me, my baby was trying to come out early. I was having a miscarriage. I was in the hospital for 5 days. I lost my baby girl on the third day. I was sad and i just wanted my boyfriend. He only came two days. He would go to work and then come stay the night with me. He still didn’t have a car. I cried every night when left alone. My mom kept me company when he wasn’t there. He called and texted me through out the day when he was at work. My last day at the hospital, i was ready to go home and get in my own bed. He didn’t text or called me on my last day. I had to tell his friend i was leaving the hospital to tell him. I felt sad because my boyfriend didn’t care about me or was checking up on me. We fussed about him not being there with me. He got mad that i didn’t let him drive my car to get to work and come see me at night. My parents would’ve fussed me out if i gave him my car to use. They told me not to give him my car.
That Saturday he was acting weird to me. He didn’t text or call me. He went out with friends to look at apartments a hour away. He didn’t tell me until the day of. We had two plan to when he have out baby girl. The first one was to move to raleigh and the second one was to wait until she was one to be able to talk and walk to move to raleigh. And we wanted her to be around family. I didn’t know he was still planning to move after everything. He was moving with his friends. I was sad he was moving on. I always got jealous when he would bond with his son. Everytime he was around me, he would call him friends to talk about the big move and what they was going to do. I cried because he didn’t care about me or my baby, he was moving on. It hurt that he never consider my feelings about everything and how i felt about it.
For three months, he treated me like shit. He would ignore my call and text messages. He acted like I didn’t exist. But he still would keep me around to use me to help him out. Helped him get to Raleigh to help his brother with his moving company, help him to get to work and more. I felt alone and depressed. I was going through postpartum. I wrote him a letter about everything from us to our baby girl. He didn’t acre about it. It took him a 2 week to read. I just wanted him to hold me and tell him everything was going to be alright. Everytime he was around me he jsut wanted sex. I took him to Raleigh to look at cars for him. He saw car he wnated and it was his dream car. A 2021 dodge charger. He only had $1,000 in his saving. Because he spent most of his saving trying to fix his other car that his friend he stayed with messed up. They wanted him to put down more on it. He looked at me and asked could i put down $650. I didn’t wnat to help him becashe never helped me and he treate me like shit after i lost our baby. Eventually i said yes i would put the money down to get the car. He needed insurance to get the car too so i put him on mines. I did too much for him. His birthday was days before he got his car. He was happy and i was happy to see i caused it. We just losted our baby so we both were going through it.
He posted on facebook and instagram like i wasn’t there or helped him get the car. I was mad because he didn’t acknowledge me or anything. But quick to act like he got it on his own. I loved him to death. He still treated me like shit afterwards. He didn’t care. He just used me. He was suppose to help me pay for my lawyer but he only gave me $200. My lawyer fees in total cost was $750. I paid all of it by myself. He still haven’t paid me.
Now he talking to different girls and partying. That’s what he wanted from the beginning. He was never ready to have a family with me. He still lie to me and tell me he see his self with me. and that he doesn’t care about me. I hide all our pictures and I delete our text messages. Everything felt like a lie with him. Nothing felt true or real.
I don’t want to get my feelings evolved with another person to hurt me emotionally. I don’t want to feel the same way i did with him for the past 8 months. I wasn’t myself. I don’t love him the same or see him as my lover. He feel like a stranger in his body. I still wanted us to start over and have a better start in life. I miss him and love him still. But i’m not going to wait around for him to come back to me.
2024.05.14 19:33 Aware_Ad6438 Can someone help me understand my hcg and progesterone levels
My hcg was 44 at 11 dpo and 272 at 15 dpo. My progesterone was 13 and then 15.
My midwife is saying these are ok and well test again in a couple days. So I trust her, I’m just looking for someone to maybe help me understand.
I’ve had a miscarriage before and we didn’t get these numbers that time and I’m not sure how to understand them well for myself.
submitted by Aware_Ad6438 to pregnant [link] [comments]
My midwife is saying these are ok and well test again in a couple days. So I trust her, I’m just looking for someone to maybe help me understand.
I’ve had a miscarriage before and we didn’t get these numbers that time and I’m not sure how to understand them well for myself.
2024.05.14 17:12 Tbone389z Looking for answers/reassurance
A little background: I’m 34 and been TTC for almost a year. Prior to this I had an IUD for about 8 years and had no periods. After the IUD was removed, my periods have been very regular, but very light and only last 1-2 days.
My TTC timeline:
I got pregnant my first regular cycle after my IUD removal and it ended up being chemical. Had another chemical two months later. Saw a fertility specialist and had ALL the tests and everything looks perfect.. with the exception of my uterine lining. On day 8 of my cycle it was 2mm which they said was thin but also it maybe should be thin at that point? It was never rechecked after that because they said it doesn’t matter (but they check it for IUI and IVF so riddle me that).
Since then I have not been able to get pregnant. I did one cycle with oral estrogen, clomid, and progesterone with no luck. I had another doctor tell me that progesterone actually prevents implantation which is why I didn’t get pregnant. I was also concerned the clomid would thin my uterine lining more but the doc said the estrogen would make up for that. Have not been able to get an RX for estrogen outside of this.
I’m now on my second cycle unmedicated after clomid. I’ve tried everything they say to do: eat healthy, exercise, pomegranate juice, fertility tea, vitex, acupuncture, castor oil, heating pad. Heck I’ve even used astrology charts to time sex! At this point I feel like doctors won’t help because everything is “normal” so it just won’t happen for me. I worry if I am pregnant this cycle I will just lose it anyway.
submitted by Tbone389z to TryingForABaby [link] [comments]
My TTC timeline:
I got pregnant my first regular cycle after my IUD removal and it ended up being chemical. Had another chemical two months later. Saw a fertility specialist and had ALL the tests and everything looks perfect.. with the exception of my uterine lining. On day 8 of my cycle it was 2mm which they said was thin but also it maybe should be thin at that point? It was never rechecked after that because they said it doesn’t matter (but they check it for IUI and IVF so riddle me that).
Since then I have not been able to get pregnant. I did one cycle with oral estrogen, clomid, and progesterone with no luck. I had another doctor tell me that progesterone actually prevents implantation which is why I didn’t get pregnant. I was also concerned the clomid would thin my uterine lining more but the doc said the estrogen would make up for that. Have not been able to get an RX for estrogen outside of this.
I’m now on my second cycle unmedicated after clomid. I’ve tried everything they say to do: eat healthy, exercise, pomegranate juice, fertility tea, vitex, acupuncture, castor oil, heating pad. Heck I’ve even used astrology charts to time sex! At this point I feel like doctors won’t help because everything is “normal” so it just won’t happen for me. I worry if I am pregnant this cycle I will just lose it anyway.
2024.05.14 15:20 kwiyomikat I think Sam isolated herself
Let's go back to season one, where everything started and lowkey set the tone for everything else.
- JWOWW was the IT GIRL! 3/4 Guys and after the boyfriend reveal 2/4 Guys. Her and Ron stayed friends/bestfriends. To quote Ron; "Jlo is my go-to girl in the house."
- Angelina was her closest friend before she left the first time around. They cliqued up together to watch the guys, talk smack and just generally formed a bond in a short amount of time.
- Snooki. Although she disliked her at first towards the end she did really like her.
I think Sam was intimidated by Jenni and I think her insecurity stemmed from that. (For anybody who didn't know; Ron had a crush on Jenni from the NY Party Scene, but when he found out she had a BF he backed off.)
Examples: Snooki telling Sammi that Ronnie left with Jwoww and her first instinct is to "knock a b up." When she arrived, she assumed they hooked up. On Boardwalk Blowups, even though Snooki misspoke and included Jenni in her opinion, the way Sam reacted even after Ron found out it was just Snooki who felt that way. She still included Jenni. Before that she doubled down and said "I don't talk to anybody."
Now, for season two. Prior to S2 starting, Angelina did multiple interviews about JS including talking smack on Mike's cell on speaker phone. So- she was alr on everybody shit list because they agreed to not reveal anything. J420, Joey Yanks, Bill.
- Snooki is Sam's closest friend at this point, but she's also the smallest girl. Y'all know this comes into play when it's revealed Ron had been threatening her and even then pushed her. Even though she adamantly wanted to tell Sam, for safety reasons, she really couldn't. Snooki is 4'9.
- Jwoww was Sam's friend by proxy. They didn't have a deep enough relationship and she was more closer to Ron than Sam. Which makes it so much worse when you found out she told Sam to her face multiple times before the Note even happened.
- Angelina. Although a touchy subject. She really did try to give Ang another chance under the circumstances until Vinny revealed. Also, when she was leaving, Sam was like; "When your friend was over, you treated me very different."
Sam did tell Angelina she would be more inclined to forgive Snooki because "Snooki is harmless." But Snooki would never switch sides because in S1 after the punch, Jwoww really stuck to her side.
Finally, season three. A lot of fourth wall breaks because they made them watch S2 whilst filming S3.
- Deena. All because she's Snooki's friend. Very rude. That whole first night and D is small too.
Even though Sam apologized to Deena & Snooki. Deena said in a confessional, because Jwoww has always been nice to her, her loyalty is with Jwoww. Snooki went to talk to Jwoww about Sam apologizing and Jwoww said; "She didn't apologize to me." I don't think she ever did. Jwoww eventually extended an olive branch.
Honorable Mention: Season Four. Locals were hostile and didn't want them there. Mike going through withdrawals. Jenni had a miscarriage and her grandmother died. Ronpage.
- Sam in confessional said about Jwoww; "Who knew the two enemies in the house would be this close together."
What I take from this cause everybody was really scared. Deena gently pulling Sammi out of the room whilst Jenni tries to deescalate Ron. Vinny makes one off hand remark and Sammi took it literal towards the point Jenni is crying, pleading and begging for her to get out the room.
So I will say by the end of S4, she had girl friends. I'm happy after years of therapy and healing, they were able to have a sit down and discuss.
(No, I'm not defending Ron. I will say the Boys checked out of the Rammi relationship in s2. Mainly because Ron attacked Vinny, held Jenni down so Sam could hit her and etc. Although Vinny was the main one separating fights. The lot of them were sick of production letting it go so long and so far. Hell, even Angelina broke the fourth wall in s2 because Ronnie's interference was so bad. I, also think they used the Arvin Situation to keep them separated because they were mentally exhausted.)
submitted by kwiyomikat to jerseyshore [link] [comments]
- JWOWW was the IT GIRL! 3/4 Guys and after the boyfriend reveal 2/4 Guys. Her and Ron stayed friends/bestfriends. To quote Ron; "Jlo is my go-to girl in the house."
- Angelina was her closest friend before she left the first time around. They cliqued up together to watch the guys, talk smack and just generally formed a bond in a short amount of time.
- Snooki. Although she disliked her at first towards the end she did really like her.
I think Sam was intimidated by Jenni and I think her insecurity stemmed from that. (For anybody who didn't know; Ron had a crush on Jenni from the NY Party Scene, but when he found out she had a BF he backed off.)
Examples: Snooki telling Sammi that Ronnie left with Jwoww and her first instinct is to "knock a b up." When she arrived, she assumed they hooked up. On Boardwalk Blowups, even though Snooki misspoke and included Jenni in her opinion, the way Sam reacted even after Ron found out it was just Snooki who felt that way. She still included Jenni. Before that she doubled down and said "I don't talk to anybody."
Now, for season two. Prior to S2 starting, Angelina did multiple interviews about JS including talking smack on Mike's cell on speaker phone. So- she was alr on everybody shit list because they agreed to not reveal anything. J420, Joey Yanks, Bill.
- Snooki is Sam's closest friend at this point, but she's also the smallest girl. Y'all know this comes into play when it's revealed Ron had been threatening her and even then pushed her. Even though she adamantly wanted to tell Sam, for safety reasons, she really couldn't. Snooki is 4'9.
- Jwoww was Sam's friend by proxy. They didn't have a deep enough relationship and she was more closer to Ron than Sam. Which makes it so much worse when you found out she told Sam to her face multiple times before the Note even happened.
- Angelina. Although a touchy subject. She really did try to give Ang another chance under the circumstances until Vinny revealed. Also, when she was leaving, Sam was like; "When your friend was over, you treated me very different."
Sam did tell Angelina she would be more inclined to forgive Snooki because "Snooki is harmless." But Snooki would never switch sides because in S1 after the punch, Jwoww really stuck to her side.
Finally, season three. A lot of fourth wall breaks because they made them watch S2 whilst filming S3.
- Deena. All because she's Snooki's friend. Very rude. That whole first night and D is small too.
Even though Sam apologized to Deena & Snooki. Deena said in a confessional, because Jwoww has always been nice to her, her loyalty is with Jwoww. Snooki went to talk to Jwoww about Sam apologizing and Jwoww said; "She didn't apologize to me." I don't think she ever did. Jwoww eventually extended an olive branch.
Honorable Mention: Season Four. Locals were hostile and didn't want them there. Mike going through withdrawals. Jenni had a miscarriage and her grandmother died. Ronpage.
- Sam in confessional said about Jwoww; "Who knew the two enemies in the house would be this close together."
What I take from this cause everybody was really scared. Deena gently pulling Sammi out of the room whilst Jenni tries to deescalate Ron. Vinny makes one off hand remark and Sammi took it literal towards the point Jenni is crying, pleading and begging for her to get out the room.
So I will say by the end of S4, she had girl friends. I'm happy after years of therapy and healing, they were able to have a sit down and discuss.
(No, I'm not defending Ron. I will say the Boys checked out of the Rammi relationship in s2. Mainly because Ron attacked Vinny, held Jenni down so Sam could hit her and etc. Although Vinny was the main one separating fights. The lot of them were sick of production letting it go so long and so far. Hell, even Angelina broke the fourth wall in s2 because Ronnie's interference was so bad. I, also think they used the Arvin Situation to keep them separated because they were mentally exhausted.)
2024.05.14 11:44 Real_Neighborhood240 Unlocking Parenthood: Your Journey with the Finest IVF Specialist Doctor in Thane.
 | https://preview.redd.it/s6waxbho3d0d1.jpg?width=5678&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b7ad2b268a32e86348a0c623a75b399be959a046 submitted by Real_Neighborhood240 to u/Real_Neighborhood240 [link] [comments] Dr. Rita Modi is a guiding light for couples facing fertility challenges in Thane and Mumbai. With an impressive career spanning two decades, she is highly regarded for her expertise in reproductive health and fertility treatments. Dr. Modi's extensive qualifications, including MBBS, MD in Obstetrics and Gynecology, DNB in Obstetrics and Gynecology, MNAMS, FICMCH, and FNB in Reproductive Medicine, firmly establish her as a leading IVF specialist doctor in Thane. Her approach blends modern techniques with traditional wisdom, all delivered with compassion. Dr. Modi addresses a wide range of fertility issues with dedication, from recurrent miscarriages to adolescent gynecological concerns. 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2024.05.14 10:00 AutoModerator LOSS Community Thread - Tue May 14
** This thread is for CONFIRMED losses only. If you suspect a loss and/or have not received confirmation from your RE, then you must post in the Weekly Results Thread until confirmed **
This thread is a dedicated space for members of infertility experiencing a confirmed loss – be it a blighted ovum/anembryonic pregnancy, chemical, ectopic, molar, miscarriage, stillbirth, TFMR, or infant death. This is the space to come together and find support as you grieve, away from the maelstrom of treatment. This is not to imply that these discussions are not allowed in the treatment thread, but is a focused effort to give an additional space to our members grieving a loss. We have many spaces you can discuss a confirmed loss, but we created this space so you don't have to post where it might be hard to.
Please use this space to vent, cry, talk about how you’re coping, share your loss experience, and ask specific questions pertaining to your loss (either resolved or ongoing). Our rules around mentions of pregnancy, children, and prior success still apply in this thread.
Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.
If you are looking for further specialized support, we recommend you explore the following communities (their wikis include helpful posts on resolving your loss via multiple methods, coping with your loss, ways for you to honor your grief, and much more):
Miscarriage
ttcafterloss
babyloss
/TFMR_support
submitted by AutoModerator to infertility [link] [comments]
This thread is a dedicated space for members of infertility experiencing a confirmed loss – be it a blighted ovum/anembryonic pregnancy, chemical, ectopic, molar, miscarriage, stillbirth, TFMR, or infant death. This is the space to come together and find support as you grieve, away from the maelstrom of treatment. This is not to imply that these discussions are not allowed in the treatment thread, but is a focused effort to give an additional space to our members grieving a loss. We have many spaces you can discuss a confirmed loss, but we created this space so you don't have to post where it might be hard to.
Please use this space to vent, cry, talk about how you’re coping, share your loss experience, and ask specific questions pertaining to your loss (either resolved or ongoing). Our rules around mentions of pregnancy, children, and prior success still apply in this thread.
Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.
If you are looking for further specialized support, we recommend you explore the following communities (their wikis include helpful posts on resolving your loss via multiple methods, coping with your loss, ways for you to honor your grief, and much more):
Miscarriage
ttcafterloss
babyloss
/TFMR_support