Occupational report refelection
Maladaptive Daydreaming - MD
2013.10.14 04:22 Maladaptive Daydreaming - MD
We are a community support sub dedicated to individuals suffering from Maladaptive Daydreaming and helping them cope with the condition.
2024.05.29 04:47 SixOnTheBeach My mom read this article about how JVP and other university groups are astroturfed by "Hamas-linked funds" to be pro-Palestine and thought it was so thought provoking she saved it. Literal 4chan level conspiracies. Please kill me.
 | Because the only reason groups like JVP would protest genocide is if they were being paid to be told what to do, how to do it, what slogans to say, and even what signs to make and what actions to take π. submitted by SixOnTheBeach to Hasan_Piker [link] [comments] You also have to love them saying that the creator of "Islamic Studies" at Oxford thought that a true Muslim is obligated to complete the work of Adolf Hitler πππ Jewish Voice for Peace CHAMAS confirmed???? |
2024.05.29 04:32 theconstellinguist Surviving Senior Psychopathy: Informant Reports of Deceit and Antisocial Behavior in Multiple Types of Relationships
Surviving Senior Psychopathy: Informant Reports of Deceit and Antisocial Behavior in Multiple Types of Relationships
Crossposting audience: Even less than narcissism research, there is a huge dearth of research on denial, the last and arguably most disturbing and long-lasting arm of genocide. Similarly, denial is employed by serial killers and is a type of extreme psychological violence that decouples the system of language's sensemaking from its actual sensebacking isomorphism to reality, while still parasiting sensemaking's credit until the lie's energy final dies, revealing the true devastating truth and the double violence to what truth means itself in the wake of the crime. Some lies last for disturbingly long amounts of time, however, in a reactive and aggressive insistence on sheer social power. This subreddit aims to study that disturbing psychosis at the heart of denial.
https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Donna-Andersen/publication/357633633_Surviving_Senior_Psychopathy_Informant_Reports_of_Deceit_and_Antisocial_Behavior_in_Multiple_Types_of_Relationships/links/61e88ba8dafcdb25fd39e1eb/Surviving-Senior-Psychopathy-Informant-Reports-of-Deceit-and-Antisocial-Behavior-in-Multiple-Types-of-Relationships.pdf
Ability to deceive without meaningfully realizing damages in empathy is predicted by ASPD
Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) and its theoretical target construct, psychopathy (Sellbom & Boer, 2019), are related conditions in which affected individuals routinely violate social norms and standards and cause harm to others (Polaschek, 2015). Robert Hare, for instance, noted that, "Psychopaths are social predators who charm, manipulate, and ruthlessly plow their way through life, leaving a broad trail of broken hearts, shattered expectations, and empty wallets." (Hare, 1993, p. xi). The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5; American Psychiatric Association [APA, 2013]) summarizes antisocial personality disorder as a pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others, indicated by failure to conform to social norms, deceitfulness, impulsivity, irritability, recklessness, irresponsibility, and a lack of remorse
Specifically, the traits were callousness, aggression, manipulativeness, hostility, deceitfulness, narcissism, irresponsibility, recklessness, and impulsivity
AMPD-ASPD/Psychopathy. Respondents rated index individuals according to nine AMPD-ASPD criteria. Specifically, the traits were callousness, aggression, manipulativeness, hostility, deceitfulness, narcissism, irresponsibility, recklessness, and impulsivity. Although these criteria differ slightly from subsequent versions of the DSM-5 AMPD,
Unempathetic behavior including disappearing without explanation, switching love on and off, making promises out of manipulativeness with no intention to fulfill them, failing to acknowledge hurtful actions, repeatedly showing denial and evasion of them, and isolating the victim from support as well as being evasive or outright deceptive about their past
characteristics such as dishonesty, inconsistency, insincerity, or superficiality, as well as manipulative or unempathetic behavior. Such characteristics reflected the endorsement of items about the index individuals, including lying about their age, sexual orientation, marital status, or occupation; disappearing without explanation; switching love on and off; making promises that failed to materialize; being manipulative; focusing predominantly on sexual interactions; failing to acknowledge hurtful actions; isolating the respondent from other social support; and being evasive about their past.
Enjoying the creation of drama, taking credit for the work of others, and blaming others for wrongdoing was seen
This included blaming others for their own wrongdoing, taking credit for the work of others, manipulating others in the organization, causing turmoil among co-workers, causing co-workers to be reprimanded or terminated, bullying others, or engaging in sexual harassment in the workplace
Most victims of these types later developed anxiety or depression, if not PTSD. Stealing their money in clandestine ways was a constant.
. Of these respondents, less than 1% reported that the index individuals engaged in much less manipulation, deceit, and antisocial behavior; 5% reported they engaged in somewhat less of this behavior; 36% reported that they engaged in these behaviors to the same extent; and 57% of respondents reported that the index individual became worse after age 50. Thus, a total of 93% of respondents reported that the index individualβs behavior was just as bad or worse after age 50.
Openly being cruel was witnessed, leading to more and more prosocial repulsion. Constantly looking for the next person to con was witnessed.
. As he aged, he seemed to care less about hiding his behavior, and he seemed to openly enjoy being cruel. The 'fix' he got from being abusive became more important to him than the 'cover-up.'" Another respondent wrote about her mother, "Nothing ever changed. She exploits, lies, throws tantrums, rages, abandons, pouts, defames, threatens, and would still be physically violent if she had the physical strength." Another respondent wrote about her former romantic partner, "He's constantly looking out for the next person to con. It is his life.β
Increased cruelty and increased volatility were seen over the years, not less
. As shown in Table 6, 21% of respondents said they saw a total personality changeβ"the mask came off." Respondents also spontaneously mentioned behaviors that associated with ASPD, such as a lack of empathy, an increase in callous-type behaviors (e.g. abuse or cruelty), as well as an increase in lies and manipulation. Only 1% indicated that the relationship became less volatile.
submitted by theconstellinguist to denialstudies [link] [comments]
Crossposting audience: Even less than narcissism research, there is a huge dearth of research on denial, the last and arguably most disturbing and long-lasting arm of genocide. Similarly, denial is employed by serial killers and is a type of extreme psychological violence that decouples the system of language's sensemaking from its actual sensebacking isomorphism to reality, while still parasiting sensemaking's credit until the lie's energy final dies, revealing the true devastating truth and the double violence to what truth means itself in the wake of the crime. Some lies last for disturbingly long amounts of time, however, in a reactive and aggressive insistence on sheer social power. This subreddit aims to study that disturbing psychosis at the heart of denial.
https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Donna-Andersen/publication/357633633_Surviving_Senior_Psychopathy_Informant_Reports_of_Deceit_and_Antisocial_Behavior_in_Multiple_Types_of_Relationships/links/61e88ba8dafcdb25fd39e1eb/Surviving-Senior-Psychopathy-Informant-Reports-of-Deceit-and-Antisocial-Behavior-in-Multiple-Types-of-Relationships.pdf
Ability to deceive without meaningfully realizing damages in empathy is predicted by ASPD
Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) and its theoretical target construct, psychopathy (Sellbom & Boer, 2019), are related conditions in which affected individuals routinely violate social norms and standards and cause harm to others (Polaschek, 2015). Robert Hare, for instance, noted that, "Psychopaths are social predators who charm, manipulate, and ruthlessly plow their way through life, leaving a broad trail of broken hearts, shattered expectations, and empty wallets." (Hare, 1993, p. xi). The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5; American Psychiatric Association [APA, 2013]) summarizes antisocial personality disorder as a pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others, indicated by failure to conform to social norms, deceitfulness, impulsivity, irritability, recklessness, irresponsibility, and a lack of remorse
Specifically, the traits were callousness, aggression, manipulativeness, hostility, deceitfulness, narcissism, irresponsibility, recklessness, and impulsivity
AMPD-ASPD/Psychopathy. Respondents rated index individuals according to nine AMPD-ASPD criteria. Specifically, the traits were callousness, aggression, manipulativeness, hostility, deceitfulness, narcissism, irresponsibility, recklessness, and impulsivity. Although these criteria differ slightly from subsequent versions of the DSM-5 AMPD,
Unempathetic behavior including disappearing without explanation, switching love on and off, making promises out of manipulativeness with no intention to fulfill them, failing to acknowledge hurtful actions, repeatedly showing denial and evasion of them, and isolating the victim from support as well as being evasive or outright deceptive about their past
characteristics such as dishonesty, inconsistency, insincerity, or superficiality, as well as manipulative or unempathetic behavior. Such characteristics reflected the endorsement of items about the index individuals, including lying about their age, sexual orientation, marital status, or occupation; disappearing without explanation; switching love on and off; making promises that failed to materialize; being manipulative; focusing predominantly on sexual interactions; failing to acknowledge hurtful actions; isolating the respondent from other social support; and being evasive about their past.
Enjoying the creation of drama, taking credit for the work of others, and blaming others for wrongdoing was seen
This included blaming others for their own wrongdoing, taking credit for the work of others, manipulating others in the organization, causing turmoil among co-workers, causing co-workers to be reprimanded or terminated, bullying others, or engaging in sexual harassment in the workplace
Most victims of these types later developed anxiety or depression, if not PTSD. Stealing their money in clandestine ways was a constant.
- For instance, respondents reported experiencing significant psychopathology due to their involvement with the individual, as 88% reported having become anxious or depressed, and 70% reported suffering from PTSD. They also reported losses in numerous material domains, including financial, as 68% of respondents reported that they had lost money as a result of their involvement with the individual. Of these respondents, 27% lost $5,000 USD or less, 14% lost $5,000 to $10,000, 20% lost $10,000 to $50,000, 13% lost $50,000 to $100,000, 18% $100,000 to $500,000, and a further 9% lost more than $500,000, per their reports.
. Of these respondents, less than 1% reported that the index individuals engaged in much less manipulation, deceit, and antisocial behavior; 5% reported they engaged in somewhat less of this behavior; 36% reported that they engaged in these behaviors to the same extent; and 57% of respondents reported that the index individual became worse after age 50. Thus, a total of 93% of respondents reported that the index individualβs behavior was just as bad or worse after age 50.
Openly being cruel was witnessed, leading to more and more prosocial repulsion. Constantly looking for the next person to con was witnessed.
. As he aged, he seemed to care less about hiding his behavior, and he seemed to openly enjoy being cruel. The 'fix' he got from being abusive became more important to him than the 'cover-up.'" Another respondent wrote about her mother, "Nothing ever changed. She exploits, lies, throws tantrums, rages, abandons, pouts, defames, threatens, and would still be physically violent if she had the physical strength." Another respondent wrote about her former romantic partner, "He's constantly looking out for the next person to con. It is his life.β
Increased cruelty and increased volatility were seen over the years, not less
. As shown in Table 6, 21% of respondents said they saw a total personality changeβ"the mask came off." Respondents also spontaneously mentioned behaviors that associated with ASPD, such as a lack of empathy, an increase in callous-type behaviors (e.g. abuse or cruelty), as well as an increase in lies and manipulation. Only 1% indicated that the relationship became less volatile.
2024.05.29 04:01 exoticsag Injured at work
So, long story short. A table and chairs set in lawn and garden fell off the top shelf and crushed my chest and left shoulder. I have a contusion on my chest wall, a separated shoulder, along with many other strains. I immediately reported it to my TL, who then contacted the only coach on duty at the time to file the incident report. The coach didnβt know much at all about how to complete the form or about policy regarding these type of situations. I spoke with the triage nurse who recommended I go to the hospital (the occupational medicine doctor approved by Walmart works out of an urgent care that was already closed for the day). Went to the hospital, still on the clock, BY MYSELF. Fast forward to the next day, I went to the urgent care. The doctor had me out of work till 6/3, I go into the store to give my people lead the paperwork and my AP coach looked at it and said βthis isnβt going to workβ, called the doctor, demanded he change the date to the 30th. He agreed although on the new form he said I couldnβt walk, stand, type, etc. My AP coach asked the doctor βwhat does answering a phone have to do with a chest and shoulder injury?β this isnβt the first time sheβs displayed this type of unhinged crackhead behavior. She also said I wouldnβt be paid for going to the urgent care because I was already paid for going to the ER. My question(s) is, isnβt it Walmart policy that a salaried member of management take me to get medical care? Arenβt we supposed to be paid for all doctoER visits? Is she allowed to contact the doctor and demand he change the return to work date? Something is off with this situation. If anyone has any experience with this, please let me know.
submitted by exoticsag to walmart [link] [comments]
2024.05.29 03:14 redlight886 February 1998 PLAYBOY Interview with Conan O'Brien [additional content]
PLAYBOY Interview With Conan O'Brien Interview by Kevin Cook For Playboy Magazine February 1998
A candid conversation with the preppie prince of "Late Night" about his rocky start, his show's secret one-day cancellation and how David Letterman saved the day.
He was polite. He was funny. He gave us a communicable disease.
At 34 Conan O'Brien is hotter than the fever he was running when we met in his private domain above the "Late Night" sound stage. A gangly freckle-faced ex-high school geek he is "one of TV's hottest properties" according to "People" magazine. The host of "Late Night With Conan O'Brien" has become his generation's king of comedy.
Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. Congested too, but O'Brien has far more to worry about than his head cold. A perfectionist who broods over one bad minute in an otherwise perfect hour of TV, he worries he might be anhedonic, "I have trouble with success," he says, "I was raised to believe that if something good happens something bad is coming." Sure things look good now "Rolling Stone" calls "Late Night" "the hottest comedy show on TV." Ratings are better than ever, particularly among 18- to 34-year-olds, the viewers advertisers crave.
But O'Brien only works harder. Despite his illness he taped two shows in 26 hours on three hours' sleep. He smoothly interviewed Elton John then burst into coughing fits during commercials. Later in his crammed corner office overlooking Manhattan traffic Conan the Cool gulped Dayquil gel caps. He coughed spewing microbes.
"Sorry, sorry," he said. Of course O'Brien can't complain. He came seriously close to falling to being banished behind the scenes as just another failed talk show host.
At his first "Late Night" press conference he corrected a reporter who called him a relative unknown, "Sir I am a complete unknown," he said. That line got a laugh, but soon O'Brien looked doomed. His September 13, 1993 debut began with O'Brien in his dressing room preparing to hang himself only to be interrupted by the start of his show. Before long his career was hanging by a thread. Ratings were terrible. Critics hated the show. Tom Shales of "The Washington Post" called it as "lifeless and messy as roadkill." Shales said O'Brien should quit.
Network officials held urgent meetings discussing the Conan O'Brien debacle. Should they fire him? How should they explain their mistake?
In the end of course he turned it around. The network hung with him long enough for the ratings to improve and the host of the cooler-than-ever "Late Night" now defines comedy's cutting edge just as Letterman did ten years ago.
Even Shales loves "Late Night" these days. He calls O'Brien's turnaround "one of the most amazing transformations in television history."
O'Brien was born on April 18, 1963 in Brookline, Massachusetts. His father, a doctor, is a professor at Harvard Medical School. His mother, a lawyer, is a partner at an elite Boston Law firm. Conan, the third of six children became a lector at church and a misfit at school. Tall and goofy, bedeviled with acne, he tried to impress girls with jokes. That plan usually bombed, but O'Brien eventually found his niche at Harvard where he won the presidency of the "Harvard Lampoon" in 1983 and again in 1984 - the first two-time "Lampoon" president since humorist Robert Benchley held the honor 85 years ago.
After graduating magna cum laude with a double major in literature and American history he turned pro. Writing for HBO's "Not Necessarily The News." O'Brien was earning $100,000 a year before his 24th birthday. But writing was never enough.
He honed his performance skills with the Groundlings, a Los Angeles improv group. There he worked with his onetime girlfriend Lisa Kudrow, now starring on "Friends." But Conan was not such a standout. In 1988 he landed a job at "Saturday Night Live" - but as a writer, not as on-air talent. In almost four years on the show O'Brien made only fleeting appearances, usually as a crowd member or security guard. His writing was more memorable. He wrote (or co-wrote) Tom hanks' "Mr Short-Term Memory" skits as well as the "pump you up" infosatire of Hanz and Franz and the nude beach sketch in which Matthew Broderick and "SNL" members played nudists admiring one another's penises. With dozens of mentions of the word that hit was the most penis-heavy moment in TV history. It helped O'Brien win an Emmy for comedy writing.
In 1991 he quit "SNL" and moved on to "The Simpsons" where he worked for two years. His urge to perform came out in wall-bouncing antics in writers' meetings. "Conan makes you fall out of your chair" said "Simpsons" creator Matt Groening. O'Brien's yen to act out was so strong that he spurned Fox's reported seven-figure offer to continue as a writer. He was driving for the spotlight.
By then David Letterman had announced he was turning shin - leaving NBC taking his ton-rated act to CBS. Suddenly NBC was up a creek without a host. The network turned to Lorne Michaels, O'Brien's "Saturday Night Live" boss. Michaels enlisted Conan's help in the host search planning to use him in a behind-the-scenes job. But when Garry Shandling, Dana Carvey and almost every other star turned down the chore of following Letterman, Michaels finally listened to Conan's crazy suggestion, "Let me do it!" Michaels persuaded the network to entrust it's 12:30 slot which Letterman had turned into a gold mine to an untested wiseass from Harvard.
O'Brien was working on one of his last "Simpsons" episodes when he got the news. He turned "paler than usual," Groening recalled. The Conan moseyed back to where the other writers were working, "I'll come back with the Homer Simspon joke later. I have to go replace Letterman," he said.
NBC executives now get credit for their foresight during those dark days of 1993 and 1994. They snared the axe and now reap the multimillion-dollar spoils of that decision. In fact, the story is not so simple. We sent Contributing Editor Kevin Cook to unravel the tale of O'Brien's survival, which he tells here for the first time. Cook reports:
"His office is chock-full of significa. There's a three-foot plastic pickle the Letterman staff left behind in 1993 - perhaps to suggest what a predicament he was in. There's a copy of Jack Paar's 'I Kid You Not' and a coffee-table book called 'Saturday Night Live: The First 20 Years.' His bulletin board features letters from fans such as John Watters and Bob Dole and an 8" x 10" glossy of Andy Richter with the inscription: "To Conan - Your bitter jealousy warms my black heart. Love and Kisses Andy."
"Of course it's all for show. From the photos of kitch icons Adam West and Robert Stack to the framed Stan Laurel autograph, from the deathbed painting of Abraham Lincoln, to the ironic star taped to Conan's door - they're all clever signals that tell a visitor how to view the star. Lincoln was his collegiate preoccupation: stardom is his occupation. Somewhere between the two I hoped to find the real O'Brien.
"As a Playboy reader he wanted to give me a better-than-average interview. I wanted something more - a definitive look at the guy who may end up being the Johnny Carson of his generation."
"Here's hoping we succeeded. If not I carried his germs 3000 miles and infected dozens of Californians for no good reason.
O'Brien: Yes, this is how to do a Playboy Interview -- completely tanked on cold medicine. I'll pick it up and read, "Yes, I'm gay."
Playboy: We could talk another time. O'Brien: (coughing) No, it's OK. I memorized Dennis Rodman's answers. Can I use them?
Playboy: You sound really sick. Do you ever take a day off? O'Brien: No. The age of talk show hosts taking days off is over. Johnny Carson could go to Africa when he was the only game in town -- "See you in two weeks!" But nobody does that now. I will give you a million dollars on the first day Jay takes off for illness.
Playboy: Do you ever slow down and enjoy your success? O'Brien: If anything, the pace is picking up. Restaurateurs insist on giving me a table even if I'm only passing by, so I'm eating nine meals a night. Women stop me on the street and hand me their phone numbers.
Playboy: So you have groupies? O'Brien: Oh yes. And other fans. Drifters. Prisoners. Insomniacs. Cab Drivers, who must watch a lot of late night TV, seem to love me lately. They keep saying, "You will not pay, you will not pay, you make me happy!"
Playboy: How happy did your new contract make you? O'Brien: Terrified. The network said, "We're all set for five years." I said, "Shut up, shut up! I can't think that far ahead." Tonight, for instance, I do my jokes, then interview Elton John and Tim Meadows. We finished taping about 6:30. By 6:45 my memory was erased and my only thought was, Tomorrow: John Tesh. And I started to obsess about John Tesh. Sad, don't you think?
Playboy: Not too sad. You got off to a rocky start but now you're so hot that People magazine recently said, "that was then, this is wow." O'Brien: I try not to pay much attention. Since I ignored the critics who said I should shoot myself in the head with a German Luger, it would be cheating to tear out nice reviews now and rub them all over my body, giggling. Though I have thought about it.
Playboy: Tell us about your trademark gag. You interview a photo of Bill Clinton or some other celeb, and a pair of superimposed lips provide outrageous answers. O'Brien: We call it the Clutch Cargo bit, after that terrible old cartoon series. They saved money on animation by superimposing real lips on the cartoons. I wanted to do topical jokes in a cartoony way -- not just Conan doing quips at a desk. TV is visual; I want things to look funny. But we're not Saturday Night Live; we couldn't spend $100,000 on it. Hence, the cheap, cheesy lips, You'd be surprised how many people we fool.
Playboy: Viewers believe that's really the president yelling, "Yee-haw! Who's got a joint?" O'Brien: It's strange. You may know intellectually that Clinton doesn't talk like Foghorn Leghorn. Ninety-eight percent of your brain knows the president wouldn't say, "Whoa Conan get a load of that girl!" But there are a few brain cells that aren't sure. When Bob Dole was running for president we had him doing a past-life regression: "My cave, get away." And then back further, "Must form flippers to crawl on to rocky soil," he says. There may be people out there who believe that Bob Dole was the first amphibian.
Playboy: Do you ever go too far? O'Brien: The fun is in going too far. It's a nice device because you get Bill Clinton to do the nastiest Bill Clinton jokes. We'll have Clinton making fart noises while I say "Sir! Please!"
Playboy: Are you enjoying your job now, with your new success? O'Brien: Well, there are surprises. I hate surprises. Like most comics, I'm a control freak. But I am learning that the show works best when things are out of control. Tonight I ask Elton John if he likes being neighbors with Joan Collins. He says he isn't neighbors with Joan Collins. He lives next door to Tina Turner. So I panic -- huge mistake! But Elton saves the day. "Joan Collins, Tina Turner, it doesn't matter. Either way I could borrow a wig," he says. Huge laugh, all because I fucked up. Later he surprised me by blurting out that he's hung like a horse. The camera cuts to me shaking my head: That crazy Elton. What can I do? Of course, I'm delighted that he went too far.
Playboy: That "What can I do?" look resembles a classic take of Jack Benny's. O'Brien: There's an old saying in literature: "Good poets borrow; great poets steal." I think T.S. Eliot stole it from Ezra Pound. Comics steal, too. Constantly. When I watched Johnny Carson, I noticed that he got a few takes from Benny and Bob Hope. When a comedy writer told me how much Woody Allen had borrowed from Hope, I thought, What? They're nothing alike. Then I went back and watched Son of Paleface, and there's Hope, the nervous city guy backing up on his heels, wringing his hands and saying, "Sorry, I'll just be moving along." Now look at early Woody Allen. You see big authority figures and Woody nervously saying, "Look, I'll just be on my way." Of course Woody made it his own, but he must have watched and loved Bob Hope.
Playboy: Who are your role models? O'Brien: Carson. Woody Allen. SCTV. Peter Sellers. When Peter Sellers died I felt such a loss, thinking, There won't be anymore of that. There's some Steve Martin in my false bravado with female guests: "Why, hel-lo there!" And I won't deny having some Letterman in my bones.
Playboy: You were surprise as Letterman's successor. At first you seemed like the wrong choice. O'Brien: I didn't get ratings. That doesn't mean I didn't get laughs. Yes, I had a giant pompadour and I looked like a rockabilly freak. I was too excited, pushed too hard, and people said, "That guy isn't a polished performer." Fine! But it isn't my goal to be Joe Handsomehead cool, smooth talk show host. Late Night with Conan O'Brien is supposed to be a work in progress, and now that we've had some success there's a danger of our getting too polished and morphing into something smoothly professional. Which would suck.
Do you know why I wanted this show? Because Late Night with David Letterman played with the rules and it looked like fun. Here was a place where people did risky comedy every night for millions of people. We had to keep this thing alive. There should be a place on a big network where people are still messing around.
Playboy: How bad were your early days on the show? O'Brien: Bad. Dave left here under a cloud: his fans and the media were angry with NBC. Then NBC picks a guy with crazy hair and a weird name. And the world says, "Harvard? Those guys are assholes." I sincerely hope that the winter of December 1993, our first winter, was the worst time I will ever have. I'd go out to do the warm up and the back two rows of seats would be empty. That's hard to look at. I would tell a joke and then hear someone whisper, "Who's he? Where's Dave?"
Playboy: You had trouble getting guests. O'Brien: Bob Denver canceled on us. We shot a test show with Al Lewis of The Munsters. We did the clutch cargo thing with a photo of Herman Munster. Unfortunately, Fred Gwynne, who played Herman, had recently died, and Al Lewis kept pointing at the screen, saying, "You're dead! I was at your funeral!"
Playboy: For months you got worried notes from network executives. What did they say? O'Brien: They were worried. The fact that Lorne Michaels was involved bought me some time. But Lorne had turned to me at the start and said, "OK, Conan. What do you want to do?" Now television critics were after me and the network was starting to realize what a risk I was. Suggestions came fast and furious. I kept the note that said, "Why don't you just die?"
Playboy: Did they suggest ways to be funnier? O'Brien: They were more specific and tactical. The network gets very specific data. Say there was a drop in ratings between 12:44 and 12:48 when I was talking to Jon Bon Jovi. I'll be told, "Don't ever talk to him again" Or they'll want me to tease viewers into staying with us: "You should tease that -- say, 'We'll have nudity coming up next!'"
Playboy: You did come close to being cancelled. O'Brien: We were cancelled.
Playboy: Really? You have never admitted that. O'Brien: This is the first time I've talked about it. When I had been on for about a year, there was a meeting at the network. They decided to cancel my show. They said, "It's cancelled." Next day they realized they had nothing to put in the 12:30 slot, so we got a reprieve.
Playboy: Were you worried sick? O'Brien: I went into denial. I tried hard not to think, Yes, I'm bad on the air and my show has none of the things a TV show needs to survive. We had no ratings. No critics in our corner. Advertisers didn't like us. Affiliates wanted to drop us. Sometimes I'd meet a programming director from a local station where we had no rating at all. The guy would show me a printout with no number for Late Night's rating, just a hash mark or pound sign. I didn't dare think about that when I went out to do the show.
Playboy: Are you defending denial? O'Brien: How else does anyone get through a terrible experience? The odds were against me. Rationally, I didn't have much chance. Denial was my only friend. When I look back on the first year, it's like a scene from an old war movie: Ordinary guy gets thrown into combat, somehow beats impossible odds, staggers to safety. His buddy say, "You could have been killed!" The guy stops and thinks. "Could have been killed?" he says. His eyes cross and he faints.
Playboy: How did you dodge the bullet? O'Brien: There were people at NBC who stood up for me. I will always be indebted to Don Ohlmeyer, who stuck to his guns. Don said, "We chose this guy. We should stick with him unless we get a better plan." He was brutally honest. He came to me and said, "Give me about a 15 percent bump in the ratings and you'll stay on the air. If not, we're going to move on."
Playboy: Ohlmeyer started his career in the sports division. O'Brien: Exactly, his take was, "You're on our team." Of course, it wasn't exactly rational of Don to hope I'd be 15 percent funnier. It was like telling a farmer, "It better rain this week or we'll take your farm away."
Playboy: What did you say to Ohlmeyer? O'Brien: There wasn't time. I had to go out and do a monologue. But I will always be indebted to Don because he told me the truth. Wait a minute -- you have tricked me into talking lovingly about an NBC executive. Let me say that there were others who were beneath contempt -- executives who wouldn't know a good show if it swam up their asses and lit a campfire.
Playboy: Finally the ratings went your way. Hard work rewarded? O'Brien: Well, I also paid off the Nielsen people. That was $140,000 well spent.
Playboy: Ohlmeyer plus bribery saved you? O'Brien: There was something else. Just when everyone was kicking the crap out of the show, Letterman defended me.
Playboy: Letterman had signed off on NBC saying, "I don't really know Conan O'Brien, but I heard he killed someone." O'Brien: Then I pick up the paper and he's saying he thinks I am going to make it. "They do some interesting, innovative stuff over there," he says. "I think Conan will prevail." And then he came on as a guest. Remember, this was when we were at our nadir. There was no Machiavellian reason for David Letterman, who at the time was the biggest thing in show business, to be on my show.
Playboy: Why did he do it? O'Brien: I'm still not sure. Maybe out of a sense of honor. Fair play. And it woke me up. It made me think. Hey, we have a real fucking television show here.
Of six or seven pivotal points in my short history here, that was the first and maybe the biggest. I wouldn't be sitting here -- I probably wouldn't even exist today -- if he hadn't done our show.
Playboy: The Late Night wars were hardly noted for friendly gestures. O'Brien: How little you understand. Jay, Dave and I pal around all the time. We often ride a bicycle built for three up to the country. "Nice job with Fran Drescher!" "Thanks, pal. You weren't so bad with John Tesh." We sleep in triple-decker bunk beds and snore in unison like the Three Stooges.
Playboy: You talk more about Letterman than your NBC teammate Leno. O'Brien: I hate the "Leno or Letterman, who's better?" question. I can tell you that Jay has been great to me. He calls me occasionally.
Playboy: To say what? O'Brien: (Doing Leno's voice) "Hey, liked that bit you did last night." Or he'll say he saw we got a good rating. I call him at work, too. It can be a strange conversation because we're so different. Jay, for instance, really loves cars. He's got antique cars with kerosene lanterns, cars that run on peat moss. He'll be telling me about some classic car he has, made entirely of brass and leather, and I'll say, "Yeah, man, I got the Taurus with the vinyl." One thing we have in common is bad guests. There are certain actors, celebrities with nothing to say, who move through the talk show world wreaking havoc. They lay waste to Dave's town and Jay's town, then head my way.
Playboy: You must be getting some good guests. Your ratings have shown a marked improvement. O'Brien: Remember, when you're on at 12:30 the Nielsens are based on 80 people. My ratings drop if one person has a head cold and goes to bed early.
Playboy: Actually, you're seen by about 3 million people a night. Your ratings would be even higher if college dorms weren't excluded from the Nielsens. How many points does that cost you? O'Brien: I told you I'm an idiot. Now I have to do math too?
Playboy: Do you still get suggestions from NBC executives? O'Brien: Not as many. The number of notes you get is inversely proportional to your ratings.
Playboy: What keeps you motivated? O'Brien: Superstition. We have a stagehand, Bobby Bowman, who holds up the curtain when I run out for the monologue. He is the last person I see before the show starts, and I have to make him laugh before I go out. It started with mild jabs: "Bobby, you're drunk again." Bobby laughs, "Heehee."" Then it was, "Still having trouble with the wife, Bobby?" But after hundreds of shows, you find yourself running out of lines. It's gotten to where I do crass things at the last second. I'll put his hand on my ass and yell, "You fucking pervert!" Or drop to my knees and say, "Come on, Bobby, I'll give you a blow job!"
"Ha-ha. Conan, you're crazy," he says. But even that stuff wears off. Soon, I'll be making the writers work late to give me new jokes for Bobby.
Playboy: Did you plan to be a talk show host or did you fall into the job? O'Brien: I was an Irish Catholic kid from St. Ignatius parish in Brookline, outside of Boston. And that meant: Don't call attention to yourself. Don't ask for too much when the pie comes around. Don't get a girl pregnant and fuck up your life.
Playboy: Were you an alter boy? O'Brien: I wanted to be an alter boy, but the priest at St. Ignatius said, "No, no. You're good on your feet, kid," and made me a lector. A scripture reader at Mass. He was the one who spotted my talent.
Playboy: What did you think of sex in those days? O'Brien: I was sexually repressed. At 16 I still thought human reproduction was by mitosis.
Playboy: How did you get over your sexual repression? O'Brien: Who says I got over it? My leg has been jiggling this whole time.
Playboy: What were you like in high school? O'Brien: Like a crane galumphing down the hall. A crane with weird hair, bad skin and Clearasil. Big enough for basketball but lousy at it. My older brothers were better. I would compensate by running around the court doing comedy, saying, "Look out, this player has a drug addiction. He's incredibly egotistical."
I was an asshole at home, too. My little brother Justin loved playing cops and robbers, but I kept tying him up with bureaucratic bullshit. When he'd catch me, I'd say, "I get to call my lawyer." Then it was, "OK, Justin, we're at trial and you've been charged with illegal arrest. Fill out these forms in triplicate." Justin was eight; he hated all the lawsuits and countersuits. He just cried.
Playboy: Were you a class clown? O'Brien: Never. I was never someone who walked into a room full of strangers and started telling jokes. You had to get to know me before I could make you laugh. The same thing happened with Late Night. I needed to get the right rhythm with Andy and Max and the audience.
Playboy: So how did you finally learn about sex? O'Brien: My parents gave me a book, but it was useless. At the crucial moment, all it showed was a man and a woman with the bed covers pulled up to their chins. I tried to find out more from friends, but it didn't help. One childhood friend told me it was like parking a car in a garage. I kept worrying about poisonous fumes. What if the fumes build up? Should you shut off the engine?
Playboy: For all your talk about being repressed, you can be rowdy on the air. O'Brien: The show is my escape valve. When I tear off my shirt and gyrate my pelvis like Robert Plant, feigning orgasm into the microphone, that shows how repressed I am -- a guy who wants to push his sex at the lens but can only do it as a joke.
Playboy: Aren't you tempted to live it up? O'Brien: I always imagined that if I were a TV star I would live the way I pictured Johnny Carson living. Carousing, stepping out of a limo wearing a velvet ascot with a model on my arm. Now that I have the TV show, I drive up to Connecticut on the weekends and tool around in my car. I could probably join a free-sex cult, smoke crack between orgies and drive sports cars into swimming pools, and my Catholic guilt would still be there, throbbing like a toothache. Be careful. If something good happens, something bad is on the way.
Playboy: Yet you don't mind licking the supermodels. O'Brien: At one point a few of them lived in my building, women who are so beautiful they almost look weird, like aliens. To me, a woman who has a certain approachable amount of beauty becomes almost funny. It's the same with male supermodels. They look like big puppets. So while I admire their beauty I probably won't be "romantically linked" with a model. I'd catch my reflection in a ballroom mirror and break up laughing.
Playboy: The horny Roy Orbison growl you use on gorgeous guests sounds real enough -- O'Brien: Oh, I've been doing that shit since high school. It just never worked before.
Playboy: Your father is a doctor, your mother an attorney. What do they think of their son the comedian? O'Brien: My dad was the one who told me denial was a virtue. "Denial is how people get through horrible things," he said. He also cut out a newspaper article in which I said I was making money off something for which I should probably be treated. So true, he thought. But when I got an Emmy for helping write Saturday Night Live, my parents put it on the mantel next to the crucifix. Here's Jesus looking over, saying, "Wow, I saved mankind from sin, but I wish I had an Emmy."
Playboy: Ever been in therapy? O'Brien: Yes. I don't trust it. I have told therapists that I don't particularly want to feel good. "Repression and fear, that's my fuel." But the therapists said that I had nothing to worry about. "Don't worry Conan you will always be plenty fucked up."
Playboy: When a female guest comes out, how do you know whether to shake her hand or kiss her? Is that rehearsed O'Brien: No, and it's awkward. If you go to shake her hand and her head starts coming right at you, you have to change strategy fast. I have thought about using the show to make women kiss me, but that would probably creep out the people at home. I decided not to kiss Elton John.
Playboy: Do you get all fired up if Cindy Crawford or Rebecca Romijn does the show? O'Brien: I like making women laugh. Always have, ever since I discovered you can get girls' attention by acting like an ass. That's one of the joys of the show -- I'm working my eyebrows and going grrr and she's laughing, the audience is laughing. It's all a big put-on and I'm thinking. This is great. Here is a beautiful woman who has no choice but to put up with this shit.
But it's not always put on. Sometimes they flirt back. Sometimes there's a bit of chemistry. That happened with Jennifer Connelly of The Rocketeer.
Playboy: One guest, Jill Hennessy, took off her pants for you. Then you removed yours. Even Penn and Teller took off their pants. O'Brien: Something comes over me. It happened with Rebecca Romijn -- I was practically climbing her. Those are the times when Andy and the audience seem to disappear and it's just me and this lovely woman sitting there flirting. I keep expecting a waiter to say, "More wine, Monsieur?"
Playboy: Would you lick the wine bottle? O'Brien: It's true, there's a lot of licking on the show. I have licked guests. I have licked Andy. Comedy professionals will read this and say, "Great work, Conan. Impressive." But I have learned that if you lick a guest, people laugh. If I pick this shoe off the floor, examine it, Hmmm, and then lick it, people laugh. I learned this lesson on The Simpsons, where I was the writer who was forever trying to entertain the other writers. I still try desperately to make our writers laugh, which is probably a sign of sickness since they work for me now. Licking is one of those things that look funny.
Playboy: Johnny Carson never licked Ed McMahon. O'Brien: We are much more physical and more stupid than the old Tonight Show. Even in our offices before the show there's always some writer acting out a scene crashing his head through my door. A behind-the-scenes look at our show might frighten people.
Playboy: One night you showed a doctored photo of Craig T. Nelson having sex with Jerry Van Dyke. Did they complain about it? O'Brien: I haven't heard from them. Of course I'm blessed not to be a part of the celebrity pond. I have a television show in New York, an NBC outpost. I don't run with or even run into many Hollywood people.
Playboy: You also announced that Tori Spelling has a penis. O'Brien: I did not. Polly the Peacock said that.
Playboy: Another character you use to say the outrageous stuff. O'Brien: Polly is not popular with the network.
Playboy: You mock Fabio, too. O'Brien: If he sues me, it'll be the best thing that ever happened. A publicity bonanza: Courtroom sketches of Fabio with his man-boobs quivering, shaking his fist, and me shouting at him across the courtroom. I'm not afraid of Fabio. He knows where to find me. I'm saying it right here for the record: Fabio, let's get it on.
Playboy: Ever have a run-in with an angry celeb? O'Brien: I did a Kelsey Grammar joke a few years ago, something about his interesting lifestyle, then heard through the network that he was upset. He had appeared on my show and expected some support. At this point my intellect says, "Kelsey Grammar is a public figure. I was in the right." Then I saw him in an airport. Kelsey didn't see me at first: I could have kept walking. But there he was, eating a cruller in the airport lounge. I thought I should go over. I said hello and then said, "Kelsey, I'm sorry if I upset you." And he was glad. He looked relieved. He said, "Oh, that's OK." We both felt better.
....See my other post with the last third of the interview
submitted by redlight886 to conan [link] [comments]
A candid conversation with the preppie prince of "Late Night" about his rocky start, his show's secret one-day cancellation and how David Letterman saved the day.
He was polite. He was funny. He gave us a communicable disease.
At 34 Conan O'Brien is hotter than the fever he was running when we met in his private domain above the "Late Night" sound stage. A gangly freckle-faced ex-high school geek he is "one of TV's hottest properties" according to "People" magazine. The host of "Late Night With Conan O'Brien" has become his generation's king of comedy.
Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. Congested too, but O'Brien has far more to worry about than his head cold. A perfectionist who broods over one bad minute in an otherwise perfect hour of TV, he worries he might be anhedonic, "I have trouble with success," he says, "I was raised to believe that if something good happens something bad is coming." Sure things look good now "Rolling Stone" calls "Late Night" "the hottest comedy show on TV." Ratings are better than ever, particularly among 18- to 34-year-olds, the viewers advertisers crave.
But O'Brien only works harder. Despite his illness he taped two shows in 26 hours on three hours' sleep. He smoothly interviewed Elton John then burst into coughing fits during commercials. Later in his crammed corner office overlooking Manhattan traffic Conan the Cool gulped Dayquil gel caps. He coughed spewing microbes.
"Sorry, sorry," he said. Of course O'Brien can't complain. He came seriously close to falling to being banished behind the scenes as just another failed talk show host.
At his first "Late Night" press conference he corrected a reporter who called him a relative unknown, "Sir I am a complete unknown," he said. That line got a laugh, but soon O'Brien looked doomed. His September 13, 1993 debut began with O'Brien in his dressing room preparing to hang himself only to be interrupted by the start of his show. Before long his career was hanging by a thread. Ratings were terrible. Critics hated the show. Tom Shales of "The Washington Post" called it as "lifeless and messy as roadkill." Shales said O'Brien should quit.
Network officials held urgent meetings discussing the Conan O'Brien debacle. Should they fire him? How should they explain their mistake?
In the end of course he turned it around. The network hung with him long enough for the ratings to improve and the host of the cooler-than-ever "Late Night" now defines comedy's cutting edge just as Letterman did ten years ago.
Even Shales loves "Late Night" these days. He calls O'Brien's turnaround "one of the most amazing transformations in television history."
O'Brien was born on April 18, 1963 in Brookline, Massachusetts. His father, a doctor, is a professor at Harvard Medical School. His mother, a lawyer, is a partner at an elite Boston Law firm. Conan, the third of six children became a lector at church and a misfit at school. Tall and goofy, bedeviled with acne, he tried to impress girls with jokes. That plan usually bombed, but O'Brien eventually found his niche at Harvard where he won the presidency of the "Harvard Lampoon" in 1983 and again in 1984 - the first two-time "Lampoon" president since humorist Robert Benchley held the honor 85 years ago.
After graduating magna cum laude with a double major in literature and American history he turned pro. Writing for HBO's "Not Necessarily The News." O'Brien was earning $100,000 a year before his 24th birthday. But writing was never enough.
He honed his performance skills with the Groundlings, a Los Angeles improv group. There he worked with his onetime girlfriend Lisa Kudrow, now starring on "Friends." But Conan was not such a standout. In 1988 he landed a job at "Saturday Night Live" - but as a writer, not as on-air talent. In almost four years on the show O'Brien made only fleeting appearances, usually as a crowd member or security guard. His writing was more memorable. He wrote (or co-wrote) Tom hanks' "Mr Short-Term Memory" skits as well as the "pump you up" infosatire of Hanz and Franz and the nude beach sketch in which Matthew Broderick and "SNL" members played nudists admiring one another's penises. With dozens of mentions of the word that hit was the most penis-heavy moment in TV history. It helped O'Brien win an Emmy for comedy writing.
In 1991 he quit "SNL" and moved on to "The Simpsons" where he worked for two years. His urge to perform came out in wall-bouncing antics in writers' meetings. "Conan makes you fall out of your chair" said "Simpsons" creator Matt Groening. O'Brien's yen to act out was so strong that he spurned Fox's reported seven-figure offer to continue as a writer. He was driving for the spotlight.
By then David Letterman had announced he was turning shin - leaving NBC taking his ton-rated act to CBS. Suddenly NBC was up a creek without a host. The network turned to Lorne Michaels, O'Brien's "Saturday Night Live" boss. Michaels enlisted Conan's help in the host search planning to use him in a behind-the-scenes job. But when Garry Shandling, Dana Carvey and almost every other star turned down the chore of following Letterman, Michaels finally listened to Conan's crazy suggestion, "Let me do it!" Michaels persuaded the network to entrust it's 12:30 slot which Letterman had turned into a gold mine to an untested wiseass from Harvard.
O'Brien was working on one of his last "Simpsons" episodes when he got the news. He turned "paler than usual," Groening recalled. The Conan moseyed back to where the other writers were working, "I'll come back with the Homer Simspon joke later. I have to go replace Letterman," he said.
NBC executives now get credit for their foresight during those dark days of 1993 and 1994. They snared the axe and now reap the multimillion-dollar spoils of that decision. In fact, the story is not so simple. We sent Contributing Editor Kevin Cook to unravel the tale of O'Brien's survival, which he tells here for the first time. Cook reports:
"His office is chock-full of significa. There's a three-foot plastic pickle the Letterman staff left behind in 1993 - perhaps to suggest what a predicament he was in. There's a copy of Jack Paar's 'I Kid You Not' and a coffee-table book called 'Saturday Night Live: The First 20 Years.' His bulletin board features letters from fans such as John Watters and Bob Dole and an 8" x 10" glossy of Andy Richter with the inscription: "To Conan - Your bitter jealousy warms my black heart. Love and Kisses Andy."
"Of course it's all for show. From the photos of kitch icons Adam West and Robert Stack to the framed Stan Laurel autograph, from the deathbed painting of Abraham Lincoln, to the ironic star taped to Conan's door - they're all clever signals that tell a visitor how to view the star. Lincoln was his collegiate preoccupation: stardom is his occupation. Somewhere between the two I hoped to find the real O'Brien.
"As a Playboy reader he wanted to give me a better-than-average interview. I wanted something more - a definitive look at the guy who may end up being the Johnny Carson of his generation."
"Here's hoping we succeeded. If not I carried his germs 3000 miles and infected dozens of Californians for no good reason.
O'Brien: Yes, this is how to do a Playboy Interview -- completely tanked on cold medicine. I'll pick it up and read, "Yes, I'm gay."
Playboy: We could talk another time. O'Brien: (coughing) No, it's OK. I memorized Dennis Rodman's answers. Can I use them?
Playboy: You sound really sick. Do you ever take a day off? O'Brien: No. The age of talk show hosts taking days off is over. Johnny Carson could go to Africa when he was the only game in town -- "See you in two weeks!" But nobody does that now. I will give you a million dollars on the first day Jay takes off for illness.
Playboy: Do you ever slow down and enjoy your success? O'Brien: If anything, the pace is picking up. Restaurateurs insist on giving me a table even if I'm only passing by, so I'm eating nine meals a night. Women stop me on the street and hand me their phone numbers.
Playboy: So you have groupies? O'Brien: Oh yes. And other fans. Drifters. Prisoners. Insomniacs. Cab Drivers, who must watch a lot of late night TV, seem to love me lately. They keep saying, "You will not pay, you will not pay, you make me happy!"
Playboy: How happy did your new contract make you? O'Brien: Terrified. The network said, "We're all set for five years." I said, "Shut up, shut up! I can't think that far ahead." Tonight, for instance, I do my jokes, then interview Elton John and Tim Meadows. We finished taping about 6:30. By 6:45 my memory was erased and my only thought was, Tomorrow: John Tesh. And I started to obsess about John Tesh. Sad, don't you think?
Playboy: Not too sad. You got off to a rocky start but now you're so hot that People magazine recently said, "that was then, this is wow." O'Brien: I try not to pay much attention. Since I ignored the critics who said I should shoot myself in the head with a German Luger, it would be cheating to tear out nice reviews now and rub them all over my body, giggling. Though I have thought about it.
Playboy: Tell us about your trademark gag. You interview a photo of Bill Clinton or some other celeb, and a pair of superimposed lips provide outrageous answers. O'Brien: We call it the Clutch Cargo bit, after that terrible old cartoon series. They saved money on animation by superimposing real lips on the cartoons. I wanted to do topical jokes in a cartoony way -- not just Conan doing quips at a desk. TV is visual; I want things to look funny. But we're not Saturday Night Live; we couldn't spend $100,000 on it. Hence, the cheap, cheesy lips, You'd be surprised how many people we fool.
Playboy: Viewers believe that's really the president yelling, "Yee-haw! Who's got a joint?" O'Brien: It's strange. You may know intellectually that Clinton doesn't talk like Foghorn Leghorn. Ninety-eight percent of your brain knows the president wouldn't say, "Whoa Conan get a load of that girl!" But there are a few brain cells that aren't sure. When Bob Dole was running for president we had him doing a past-life regression: "My cave, get away." And then back further, "Must form flippers to crawl on to rocky soil," he says. There may be people out there who believe that Bob Dole was the first amphibian.
Playboy: Do you ever go too far? O'Brien: The fun is in going too far. It's a nice device because you get Bill Clinton to do the nastiest Bill Clinton jokes. We'll have Clinton making fart noises while I say "Sir! Please!"
Playboy: Are you enjoying your job now, with your new success? O'Brien: Well, there are surprises. I hate surprises. Like most comics, I'm a control freak. But I am learning that the show works best when things are out of control. Tonight I ask Elton John if he likes being neighbors with Joan Collins. He says he isn't neighbors with Joan Collins. He lives next door to Tina Turner. So I panic -- huge mistake! But Elton saves the day. "Joan Collins, Tina Turner, it doesn't matter. Either way I could borrow a wig," he says. Huge laugh, all because I fucked up. Later he surprised me by blurting out that he's hung like a horse. The camera cuts to me shaking my head: That crazy Elton. What can I do? Of course, I'm delighted that he went too far.
Playboy: That "What can I do?" look resembles a classic take of Jack Benny's. O'Brien: There's an old saying in literature: "Good poets borrow; great poets steal." I think T.S. Eliot stole it from Ezra Pound. Comics steal, too. Constantly. When I watched Johnny Carson, I noticed that he got a few takes from Benny and Bob Hope. When a comedy writer told me how much Woody Allen had borrowed from Hope, I thought, What? They're nothing alike. Then I went back and watched Son of Paleface, and there's Hope, the nervous city guy backing up on his heels, wringing his hands and saying, "Sorry, I'll just be moving along." Now look at early Woody Allen. You see big authority figures and Woody nervously saying, "Look, I'll just be on my way." Of course Woody made it his own, but he must have watched and loved Bob Hope.
Playboy: Who are your role models? O'Brien: Carson. Woody Allen. SCTV. Peter Sellers. When Peter Sellers died I felt such a loss, thinking, There won't be anymore of that. There's some Steve Martin in my false bravado with female guests: "Why, hel-lo there!" And I won't deny having some Letterman in my bones.
Playboy: You were surprise as Letterman's successor. At first you seemed like the wrong choice. O'Brien: I didn't get ratings. That doesn't mean I didn't get laughs. Yes, I had a giant pompadour and I looked like a rockabilly freak. I was too excited, pushed too hard, and people said, "That guy isn't a polished performer." Fine! But it isn't my goal to be Joe Handsomehead cool, smooth talk show host. Late Night with Conan O'Brien is supposed to be a work in progress, and now that we've had some success there's a danger of our getting too polished and morphing into something smoothly professional. Which would suck.
Do you know why I wanted this show? Because Late Night with David Letterman played with the rules and it looked like fun. Here was a place where people did risky comedy every night for millions of people. We had to keep this thing alive. There should be a place on a big network where people are still messing around.
Playboy: How bad were your early days on the show? O'Brien: Bad. Dave left here under a cloud: his fans and the media were angry with NBC. Then NBC picks a guy with crazy hair and a weird name. And the world says, "Harvard? Those guys are assholes." I sincerely hope that the winter of December 1993, our first winter, was the worst time I will ever have. I'd go out to do the warm up and the back two rows of seats would be empty. That's hard to look at. I would tell a joke and then hear someone whisper, "Who's he? Where's Dave?"
Playboy: You had trouble getting guests. O'Brien: Bob Denver canceled on us. We shot a test show with Al Lewis of The Munsters. We did the clutch cargo thing with a photo of Herman Munster. Unfortunately, Fred Gwynne, who played Herman, had recently died, and Al Lewis kept pointing at the screen, saying, "You're dead! I was at your funeral!"
Playboy: For months you got worried notes from network executives. What did they say? O'Brien: They were worried. The fact that Lorne Michaels was involved bought me some time. But Lorne had turned to me at the start and said, "OK, Conan. What do you want to do?" Now television critics were after me and the network was starting to realize what a risk I was. Suggestions came fast and furious. I kept the note that said, "Why don't you just die?"
Playboy: Did they suggest ways to be funnier? O'Brien: They were more specific and tactical. The network gets very specific data. Say there was a drop in ratings between 12:44 and 12:48 when I was talking to Jon Bon Jovi. I'll be told, "Don't ever talk to him again" Or they'll want me to tease viewers into staying with us: "You should tease that -- say, 'We'll have nudity coming up next!'"
Playboy: You did come close to being cancelled. O'Brien: We were cancelled.
Playboy: Really? You have never admitted that. O'Brien: This is the first time I've talked about it. When I had been on for about a year, there was a meeting at the network. They decided to cancel my show. They said, "It's cancelled." Next day they realized they had nothing to put in the 12:30 slot, so we got a reprieve.
Playboy: Were you worried sick? O'Brien: I went into denial. I tried hard not to think, Yes, I'm bad on the air and my show has none of the things a TV show needs to survive. We had no ratings. No critics in our corner. Advertisers didn't like us. Affiliates wanted to drop us. Sometimes I'd meet a programming director from a local station where we had no rating at all. The guy would show me a printout with no number for Late Night's rating, just a hash mark or pound sign. I didn't dare think about that when I went out to do the show.
Playboy: Are you defending denial? O'Brien: How else does anyone get through a terrible experience? The odds were against me. Rationally, I didn't have much chance. Denial was my only friend. When I look back on the first year, it's like a scene from an old war movie: Ordinary guy gets thrown into combat, somehow beats impossible odds, staggers to safety. His buddy say, "You could have been killed!" The guy stops and thinks. "Could have been killed?" he says. His eyes cross and he faints.
Playboy: How did you dodge the bullet? O'Brien: There were people at NBC who stood up for me. I will always be indebted to Don Ohlmeyer, who stuck to his guns. Don said, "We chose this guy. We should stick with him unless we get a better plan." He was brutally honest. He came to me and said, "Give me about a 15 percent bump in the ratings and you'll stay on the air. If not, we're going to move on."
Playboy: Ohlmeyer started his career in the sports division. O'Brien: Exactly, his take was, "You're on our team." Of course, it wasn't exactly rational of Don to hope I'd be 15 percent funnier. It was like telling a farmer, "It better rain this week or we'll take your farm away."
Playboy: What did you say to Ohlmeyer? O'Brien: There wasn't time. I had to go out and do a monologue. But I will always be indebted to Don because he told me the truth. Wait a minute -- you have tricked me into talking lovingly about an NBC executive. Let me say that there were others who were beneath contempt -- executives who wouldn't know a good show if it swam up their asses and lit a campfire.
Playboy: Finally the ratings went your way. Hard work rewarded? O'Brien: Well, I also paid off the Nielsen people. That was $140,000 well spent.
Playboy: Ohlmeyer plus bribery saved you? O'Brien: There was something else. Just when everyone was kicking the crap out of the show, Letterman defended me.
Playboy: Letterman had signed off on NBC saying, "I don't really know Conan O'Brien, but I heard he killed someone." O'Brien: Then I pick up the paper and he's saying he thinks I am going to make it. "They do some interesting, innovative stuff over there," he says. "I think Conan will prevail." And then he came on as a guest. Remember, this was when we were at our nadir. There was no Machiavellian reason for David Letterman, who at the time was the biggest thing in show business, to be on my show.
Playboy: Why did he do it? O'Brien: I'm still not sure. Maybe out of a sense of honor. Fair play. And it woke me up. It made me think. Hey, we have a real fucking television show here.
Of six or seven pivotal points in my short history here, that was the first and maybe the biggest. I wouldn't be sitting here -- I probably wouldn't even exist today -- if he hadn't done our show.
Playboy: The Late Night wars were hardly noted for friendly gestures. O'Brien: How little you understand. Jay, Dave and I pal around all the time. We often ride a bicycle built for three up to the country. "Nice job with Fran Drescher!" "Thanks, pal. You weren't so bad with John Tesh." We sleep in triple-decker bunk beds and snore in unison like the Three Stooges.
Playboy: You talk more about Letterman than your NBC teammate Leno. O'Brien: I hate the "Leno or Letterman, who's better?" question. I can tell you that Jay has been great to me. He calls me occasionally.
Playboy: To say what? O'Brien: (Doing Leno's voice) "Hey, liked that bit you did last night." Or he'll say he saw we got a good rating. I call him at work, too. It can be a strange conversation because we're so different. Jay, for instance, really loves cars. He's got antique cars with kerosene lanterns, cars that run on peat moss. He'll be telling me about some classic car he has, made entirely of brass and leather, and I'll say, "Yeah, man, I got the Taurus with the vinyl." One thing we have in common is bad guests. There are certain actors, celebrities with nothing to say, who move through the talk show world wreaking havoc. They lay waste to Dave's town and Jay's town, then head my way.
Playboy: You must be getting some good guests. Your ratings have shown a marked improvement. O'Brien: Remember, when you're on at 12:30 the Nielsens are based on 80 people. My ratings drop if one person has a head cold and goes to bed early.
Playboy: Actually, you're seen by about 3 million people a night. Your ratings would be even higher if college dorms weren't excluded from the Nielsens. How many points does that cost you? O'Brien: I told you I'm an idiot. Now I have to do math too?
Playboy: Do you still get suggestions from NBC executives? O'Brien: Not as many. The number of notes you get is inversely proportional to your ratings.
Playboy: What keeps you motivated? O'Brien: Superstition. We have a stagehand, Bobby Bowman, who holds up the curtain when I run out for the monologue. He is the last person I see before the show starts, and I have to make him laugh before I go out. It started with mild jabs: "Bobby, you're drunk again." Bobby laughs, "Heehee."" Then it was, "Still having trouble with the wife, Bobby?" But after hundreds of shows, you find yourself running out of lines. It's gotten to where I do crass things at the last second. I'll put his hand on my ass and yell, "You fucking pervert!" Or drop to my knees and say, "Come on, Bobby, I'll give you a blow job!"
"Ha-ha. Conan, you're crazy," he says. But even that stuff wears off. Soon, I'll be making the writers work late to give me new jokes for Bobby.
Playboy: Did you plan to be a talk show host or did you fall into the job? O'Brien: I was an Irish Catholic kid from St. Ignatius parish in Brookline, outside of Boston. And that meant: Don't call attention to yourself. Don't ask for too much when the pie comes around. Don't get a girl pregnant and fuck up your life.
Playboy: Were you an alter boy? O'Brien: I wanted to be an alter boy, but the priest at St. Ignatius said, "No, no. You're good on your feet, kid," and made me a lector. A scripture reader at Mass. He was the one who spotted my talent.
Playboy: What did you think of sex in those days? O'Brien: I was sexually repressed. At 16 I still thought human reproduction was by mitosis.
Playboy: How did you get over your sexual repression? O'Brien: Who says I got over it? My leg has been jiggling this whole time.
Playboy: What were you like in high school? O'Brien: Like a crane galumphing down the hall. A crane with weird hair, bad skin and Clearasil. Big enough for basketball but lousy at it. My older brothers were better. I would compensate by running around the court doing comedy, saying, "Look out, this player has a drug addiction. He's incredibly egotistical."
I was an asshole at home, too. My little brother Justin loved playing cops and robbers, but I kept tying him up with bureaucratic bullshit. When he'd catch me, I'd say, "I get to call my lawyer." Then it was, "OK, Justin, we're at trial and you've been charged with illegal arrest. Fill out these forms in triplicate." Justin was eight; he hated all the lawsuits and countersuits. He just cried.
Playboy: Were you a class clown? O'Brien: Never. I was never someone who walked into a room full of strangers and started telling jokes. You had to get to know me before I could make you laugh. The same thing happened with Late Night. I needed to get the right rhythm with Andy and Max and the audience.
Playboy: So how did you finally learn about sex? O'Brien: My parents gave me a book, but it was useless. At the crucial moment, all it showed was a man and a woman with the bed covers pulled up to their chins. I tried to find out more from friends, but it didn't help. One childhood friend told me it was like parking a car in a garage. I kept worrying about poisonous fumes. What if the fumes build up? Should you shut off the engine?
Playboy: For all your talk about being repressed, you can be rowdy on the air. O'Brien: The show is my escape valve. When I tear off my shirt and gyrate my pelvis like Robert Plant, feigning orgasm into the microphone, that shows how repressed I am -- a guy who wants to push his sex at the lens but can only do it as a joke.
Playboy: Aren't you tempted to live it up? O'Brien: I always imagined that if I were a TV star I would live the way I pictured Johnny Carson living. Carousing, stepping out of a limo wearing a velvet ascot with a model on my arm. Now that I have the TV show, I drive up to Connecticut on the weekends and tool around in my car. I could probably join a free-sex cult, smoke crack between orgies and drive sports cars into swimming pools, and my Catholic guilt would still be there, throbbing like a toothache. Be careful. If something good happens, something bad is on the way.
Playboy: Yet you don't mind licking the supermodels. O'Brien: At one point a few of them lived in my building, women who are so beautiful they almost look weird, like aliens. To me, a woman who has a certain approachable amount of beauty becomes almost funny. It's the same with male supermodels. They look like big puppets. So while I admire their beauty I probably won't be "romantically linked" with a model. I'd catch my reflection in a ballroom mirror and break up laughing.
Playboy: The horny Roy Orbison growl you use on gorgeous guests sounds real enough -- O'Brien: Oh, I've been doing that shit since high school. It just never worked before.
Playboy: Your father is a doctor, your mother an attorney. What do they think of their son the comedian? O'Brien: My dad was the one who told me denial was a virtue. "Denial is how people get through horrible things," he said. He also cut out a newspaper article in which I said I was making money off something for which I should probably be treated. So true, he thought. But when I got an Emmy for helping write Saturday Night Live, my parents put it on the mantel next to the crucifix. Here's Jesus looking over, saying, "Wow, I saved mankind from sin, but I wish I had an Emmy."
Playboy: Ever been in therapy? O'Brien: Yes. I don't trust it. I have told therapists that I don't particularly want to feel good. "Repression and fear, that's my fuel." But the therapists said that I had nothing to worry about. "Don't worry Conan you will always be plenty fucked up."
Playboy: When a female guest comes out, how do you know whether to shake her hand or kiss her? Is that rehearsed O'Brien: No, and it's awkward. If you go to shake her hand and her head starts coming right at you, you have to change strategy fast. I have thought about using the show to make women kiss me, but that would probably creep out the people at home. I decided not to kiss Elton John.
Playboy: Do you get all fired up if Cindy Crawford or Rebecca Romijn does the show? O'Brien: I like making women laugh. Always have, ever since I discovered you can get girls' attention by acting like an ass. That's one of the joys of the show -- I'm working my eyebrows and going grrr and she's laughing, the audience is laughing. It's all a big put-on and I'm thinking. This is great. Here is a beautiful woman who has no choice but to put up with this shit.
But it's not always put on. Sometimes they flirt back. Sometimes there's a bit of chemistry. That happened with Jennifer Connelly of The Rocketeer.
Playboy: One guest, Jill Hennessy, took off her pants for you. Then you removed yours. Even Penn and Teller took off their pants. O'Brien: Something comes over me. It happened with Rebecca Romijn -- I was practically climbing her. Those are the times when Andy and the audience seem to disappear and it's just me and this lovely woman sitting there flirting. I keep expecting a waiter to say, "More wine, Monsieur?"
Playboy: Would you lick the wine bottle? O'Brien: It's true, there's a lot of licking on the show. I have licked guests. I have licked Andy. Comedy professionals will read this and say, "Great work, Conan. Impressive." But I have learned that if you lick a guest, people laugh. If I pick this shoe off the floor, examine it, Hmmm, and then lick it, people laugh. I learned this lesson on The Simpsons, where I was the writer who was forever trying to entertain the other writers. I still try desperately to make our writers laugh, which is probably a sign of sickness since they work for me now. Licking is one of those things that look funny.
Playboy: Johnny Carson never licked Ed McMahon. O'Brien: We are much more physical and more stupid than the old Tonight Show. Even in our offices before the show there's always some writer acting out a scene crashing his head through my door. A behind-the-scenes look at our show might frighten people.
Playboy: One night you showed a doctored photo of Craig T. Nelson having sex with Jerry Van Dyke. Did they complain about it? O'Brien: I haven't heard from them. Of course I'm blessed not to be a part of the celebrity pond. I have a television show in New York, an NBC outpost. I don't run with or even run into many Hollywood people.
Playboy: You also announced that Tori Spelling has a penis. O'Brien: I did not. Polly the Peacock said that.
Playboy: Another character you use to say the outrageous stuff. O'Brien: Polly is not popular with the network.
Playboy: You mock Fabio, too. O'Brien: If he sues me, it'll be the best thing that ever happened. A publicity bonanza: Courtroom sketches of Fabio with his man-boobs quivering, shaking his fist, and me shouting at him across the courtroom. I'm not afraid of Fabio. He knows where to find me. I'm saying it right here for the record: Fabio, let's get it on.
Playboy: Ever have a run-in with an angry celeb? O'Brien: I did a Kelsey Grammar joke a few years ago, something about his interesting lifestyle, then heard through the network that he was upset. He had appeared on my show and expected some support. At this point my intellect says, "Kelsey Grammar is a public figure. I was in the right." Then I saw him in an airport. Kelsey didn't see me at first: I could have kept walking. But there he was, eating a cruller in the airport lounge. I thought I should go over. I said hello and then said, "Kelsey, I'm sorry if I upset you." And he was glad. He looked relieved. He said, "Oh, that's OK." We both felt better.
....See my other post with the last third of the interview
2024.05.29 03:00 Ok-yeah-mkay https://www.theguardian.com/world/article/2024/may/28/spying-hacking-intimidation-israel-war-icc-exposed
Why is it okay to threaten the life of humanitarian law justices (Israel and US have both been caught)?
It seems the US and Israel have a fundamental belief in their unique inherent supreme value over the other human inhabitants of Earth (how else do we justify annexation of Mexican territory by war, or the Monroe doctrine). We claim China is a thief and human rights violator and practices unfair economic policy. Those are accusations that can be credibly leveled against the US. Americans shrug because we believe we are permanent force for good and that outweighs our indiscretions and just about any moral compromise we make.
Israel has the same belief in its supremacy. Dirty tactics are justified (e.g. lying, stealing land, ethnic cleansing, unprovoked war and subjugation of a 56 year illegal occupation, mass murder, even genocide) by the proposed ends. Reportedly, Israel(Zionism) is so confident in its deservingness that it has plans to take the world down in nuclear holocaust if its survival is actually threatened, in doctrine named appropriately after the biblical character Samson. Mossad threatening murder on an ICC judge is not surprising. If they win, itβs justified.
Whatβs surprising is that nothing they do changes American trust and esteem for Israel. Hamas decapitates babies, plays soccer with Israeli womenβs amputated breasts and hides in hospitalsβ no evidence necessary. Israel doesnβt take care to limit civilian deathsβno evidence necessary (in an Israeli operation that has a proportionately unprecedented death toll)
submitted by Ok-yeah-mkay to mopolitics [link] [comments]
It seems the US and Israel have a fundamental belief in their unique inherent supreme value over the other human inhabitants of Earth (how else do we justify annexation of Mexican territory by war, or the Monroe doctrine). We claim China is a thief and human rights violator and practices unfair economic policy. Those are accusations that can be credibly leveled against the US. Americans shrug because we believe we are permanent force for good and that outweighs our indiscretions and just about any moral compromise we make.
Israel has the same belief in its supremacy. Dirty tactics are justified (e.g. lying, stealing land, ethnic cleansing, unprovoked war and subjugation of a 56 year illegal occupation, mass murder, even genocide) by the proposed ends. Reportedly, Israel(Zionism) is so confident in its deservingness that it has plans to take the world down in nuclear holocaust if its survival is actually threatened, in doctrine named appropriately after the biblical character Samson. Mossad threatening murder on an ICC judge is not surprising. If they win, itβs justified.
Whatβs surprising is that nothing they do changes American trust and esteem for Israel. Hamas decapitates babies, plays soccer with Israeli womenβs amputated breasts and hides in hospitalsβ no evidence necessary. Israel doesnβt take care to limit civilian deathsβno evidence necessary (in an Israeli operation that has a proportionately unprecedented death toll)
2024.05.29 02:27 joepoorman Done with school
 | submitted by joepoorman to BitLifeApp [link] [comments] |
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2024.05.28 23:56 KyleKKent OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 016
~First~
Harriett The Spy AND HHH/Herbertβs Hundred Harem
They were comparing their stories about the weirder infiltration missions theyβd gone on since they last spoke when thereβs a knock on the door and itβs quickly opened before either can say anything.
βSir? Maβam? Update to the latest mess.β The Angla man says leaning in and holding out a folder. Harriettβs longer reach has her grab it.
βGood man, back to it soldier.β Herbert says as he hops off his chair. By the time the door is closed again heβs at Harriettβs side and standing on his tiptoes to read it over her elbow.
βWell... shit.β Harriett says as she sees the image of a gigantic slohb core with something clearly embedded in and infecting it. She reaches over to the flask and upends it to reveal the slightly larger than a pea piece of blood metal. A moment of compare and she curses again.
βExactly what I was thinking. Where did she find it? Was it embedded deliberately? Some kind of experiment?β Herbert notes
βHang on, let me turn the page.β Harriett tells him. βShe found it and is reaching out to us because The Undaunted are one of the only powers she knows for a fact cannot be involved.β
βAlright, you just take a break. You got out of an infiltration like ten minutes ago. Have a snack. Relax, I need to prep a response to this.β Herbert says as he heads for the door. She follows.
βIβm no wilting flower. I know that Spire, have some infiltration experience there and friends as well. I can get you through the gang territories on the way down so we can help this poor woman.β Harriett says and Herbert nods.
βAlright then, youβre heading the mission. Iβm going to scrape up all the support you need. So, what do you need?β Herbert asks.
βSeveral Doctors, at least one specializing in Xenobioology with at bare minimum a professional understanding of Slohb physiology. Several troopers that donβt mind cleaning and then standing guard. A transmutation Adept to re-purpose local materials for a sterile operating room to get that thing out of there and with sufficient skill to produce Null on demand finally a lack of interference from Centris authorities.β Harriett lists out and Herbert nods.
βDone, get started on your plan of movement. Iβll get it all ready.β Herbert promises her as they powerwalk through Intelligence and then Herbert dashes away as he calls to to people and barks orders. For the briefest of moments Harriett mentally compares him to a chihuahua but then realizes it falls short as this chihuahua can and will tear chunks out of things many many thousands of times itβs size. Thereβs a lot of bark yes, but the bite is exponentially worse.
She shakes herself out of the half second long reverie and gets moving again. She needs to draw up plans, review her notes for the area and plan a route all the way to the bottom of a spire, all the way down through nine levels where the gangs in power WILL be stopping the elevators to at least check the occupants and more than a few of them are stupid enough to stick a gun into the face of a soldier.
She normally doesnβt bother with the stupidity and madness of a bottom ten. Generally people that try hiding down there end up being shanked in the back alley by a bouncer after they tried to run out on the bill of whatever oiled up man-thong lounge they had spent half a fucking day in and racking up a bill large enough that Ticanpedβs feathers would stand on end.
She had tracked a fucker down there five times in varying different disguises to find that exact scenario had played out. And thatβs IF they survived long enough to get to the dickie bar. There was a different way of going around down there. Every square inch was basically gang territory by default, if you walk around like your shit doesnβt stink then youβre going to get it pushed in in the worst possible way.
β’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’
There is a silence that stretches through the last conversation. Learning that the games she had played had been loosely based on actual wars had disquieted All Lady a little.
βLook the Wolfenstein games were massive exaggerations from the word go. You know how it is. Get enough time between a tragedy and someone looking to tell a story and youβre soon going to find something like a bunch of psychopaths who canβt fall asleep unless itβs to the screams of the innocent or some mad scientist with an obsession for switching body parts around.β Jurgen says and All Lady lets out a huff of air. βBy the way how hard is that to learn?β
βHow hard is what?β She asks.
βWell, that sigh. The air came out of your mouth... but you have no throat, no lungs. The part Iβm addressing may as well be the tip of your finger or something. How long did it take to learn to mimic air respiration and air movement to that extent?β
βOh that?β All Lady asks before laughing a little. βSimple enough when you know how to talk, and I was budded off my father knowing how to make those noises. Not what they meant, but thatβs whatβs childhoodβs for.β
βI see, so... all Slohbs are born knowing how to manipulate their bodies, but now why they would want to?β
βWell, weβre born knowing how to keep ourselves alive and move, and smart enough to learn. However finer control is something that comes later. A newly budded little Slohb is adorable but can only make very vague shapes. Very rounded ones too. But there are grand masters of the art, shifters so skilled they can alter their colour and put in so much detail that you have to touch them to tell theyβre a slohb, and of course there are even rarer girls who can change their external texture. You need high end scanners to tell theyβre not what they say they are.β All Lady says before looking around at the cavern of blue slime that is her being. βOld dreams. Dead on the alter of reality.β
βSays who?β Jurgen asks.
βCommon sense?β
βWell, good thing itβs not all that common now isnβt it?β He asks in return and she looks at him oddly. βAfter all, itβs common sense that a human over nine feet tall is suffering from terrible glandular disorders and lives a miserable life.β
She smirks after a bit.
βOh do you now? Oh poor baby!β She teases him.
βOh yes, poor poor oversized me! After all, one can only be larger than six feet tall if theyβre sick in some way.β He says and she laughs a touch.
βJurgen, let her know weβve already put together a team to come help her. Sheβll need to unblock the entrances if weβre going to help.β His Handler says and he pauses and thinks.
βIs something wrong?β All Lady asks.
βWell, you wanted to know if the Undaunted reputation is deserved right?β He asks and she nods. βWell theyβve already put together a team and theyβre on their way. They request that you unblock the way in.β
βWhat kind of team?β She asks.
βBuddy, what kind of team?β Jurgen asks his handler.
βThree doctors, five troopers, two with medical training an Adept and an Agent.β
βCopy that. Miss All Lady we have three doctors, five troopers with two of them medics, an Adept and an Agent inbound.β
βAn Agent?β
βHighly skilled, highly informed and often deployed in the field. Our Agents are stealth operatives mostly. If oneβs deployed, then theyβre likely trying to get the team to you with as little fuss as possible. So nothing wrong happens.β
βAnd theyβre coming now? But I havenβt actually asked for any help!β She protests and he shrugs.
βYou clearly need it. Not to mention I heard my handler curse under his breath when we saw whatever it is thatβs in your core. No doubt itβs something concerning.β
βWhat was the first hint? That it embedded itself into me despite my merely examining it or that itβs caused me to bud thousands of times without ever successfully splitting?β
βWait, that thing embedded itself into you?β
βI... I said too much.β
βMaβam whatever that thing is, it has my handler so worried heβs not volunteering the information at the first opportunity. Normally getting him to shut up is the trick, right now though? Dead silence.β
βWe canβt risk this information being intercepted.β His Handler states.
βAnd now he says itβs so dangerous he wonβt risk it being intercepted. So whatever happened to you is understood well enough by my people that weβre basically scared of it and scrambling to do something about it right away. The more we know, the better we can help you.β Jurgen says and she stares at him before everything quivers.
βIt... it was seven years ago.β She says. βI was just exploring the bottom ten. Being... well... being who I was then. I was basically slinging myself around along the ceiling. I can move in ways you solids canβt. Stretch out, grab some thing or suction up against it. Really easy, fast and fun. Then I bumped into something, something hidden. It seemed so harmless at first. A little dead drop place, whatever, take a look into it. If itβs bad report it to someone, but leave it alone otherwise.β
βIt didnβt work like that though, did it?β Jurgen asks.
βNo... it was... strange. It looked like a circuit board but made of the strange metal. A bit of my gel ended up on one of the circuits as I was putting it back and... it wouldnβt let go. Then it pulled and before I could sever that bit... it was in me and I fell. The impact knocked me out cold and I donβt know. It may have killed me. I woke up with two extra bumps, one of them badly damaged and with the metal inside.β
β... Do you think that...β
βThat I might not be me?β She asks. βSometimes. It was I...β
The gel starts to shift before moving in a smooth flow. βI am in control. I am the master of my fate. I am all. All is me. I am the lady that is all.β
βThe All Lady.β Jurgen finishes for her and she nods.
βYes. I... even now I am budding far too fast, and the bud is not going to break away. This is unnatural, wrong and vile. It needs to stop.β She says.
βTell her help is on the way. Theyβre at level fifty and closing fast.β
βHelp is coming, level fifty and closing the distance.β Jurgen promises.
βOkay, okay... this is faster than I expected. Or wanted, but it needs to happen it... what is this going to cost me?β She asks.
βJust uncover the entrances. I highly doubt anyone will want anything more. Youβve been through enough.β Jurgen says and after a moment he can hear things in the distance.
βYour teammates are reporting that the path out is clear now.β His Handler says.
βAlright then. Ready to go out and meet the doctors?β Jurgen asks reaching out his hand and after a short while a gel hand finds itβs way to his.
β’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’
The elevator stops prematurely and is forced open from the other side.
βWell hello there now what are you little fish...β A snict woman begins to monologue as she forces the elevator door open and stops as she finds herself staring down a dozen high powered weapons. Harriett reaches a hand out and pushes her back and out of the way of the door before pressing the closed door button.
βWeβre about to get another of those arenβt we maβam?β
βEvery fucking level down. The bottom ten of Xiona are a textbook no-manβs land and the reason for level one being off limits is who weβre out to help.β
βThis job sometimes...β One of the Doctors notes.
βThe hell did you expect?β
βNot an emergency surgery of an alien blob monster in the middle of gang territory.β The Doctor replies.
βWell jokes on you, you came from Earth to keep soldiers alive and study aliens. Well hereβs an exotic alien metal, poisoning an alien woman. Letβs work with it.β Harriett states.
βI understand, I just donβt like it.β The Doctor replies.
βWhy the hell were you placed on this team?β
βBecause Doctor Gin here has point blank pulled of borderline miracles in the past. He just likes to complain.β Another Doctor says and Gin turns to give him the stink eye.
βOf course Iβm complaining! Do you have any idea what can go wrong? I do! Itβs horrifying! Not only is this a Slohb, a species with one of the most dense physical forms there are once you move past the falseness that is the gel they control. But not only that, this is a Slohb that has been poisoned by the item weβre extracting and may have created chemical or Axiom imbalances in her system that could kill her when the substance is removed! Going cold turkey on anything hurts for a reason people! To say nothing of the fact that the surgery chamber is going to be improvised and in the middle of potentially hostile territory and the patient is enormous to such a degree that she is potentially the biggest member of her species to ever exist! And in addition we are...β
βWe get it.β
βOh no, this last point is the most important. Because we are going to be operating under the effects of Null. Which while harmless to the vast, vast majority of this group, will still have effects on you Agent and on the Titan that the patient is bonding with. And thatβs not even touching on the fact that Slohbs, which I remind you, is the species of the patient. That Slohbs have one of the fastest kill times in Null at three and a half minutes at absolute maximum! Meaning we have two hundred and ten seconds AT MOST to save this poor womanβs life without taking it ourselves! More likely we will only have a hundred and twenty to keep her in the safe zone, TWO MINUTES TO OPERATE!β He rants before huffing a bit and then slicking his hair back again. βSo as you can imagine, Iβm a little stressed.β
βBacking out?β
βOf course not. I donβt trust anyone else to do this right the first time. Iβm just making sure youβre aware that no matter how easy I make this look that it is in fact, very very hard.β Doctor Gin says as he squares his shoulders and steels his expression. He along with everyone else then pull out their weapons as the elevator is stopped early again and this time thereβs not even a monologue as the Horchka gang that opened the door simply raise their eyebrows, and then one reaches in to press the door closed button to send them on their way.
~First~ Last
submitted by KyleKKent to HFY [link] [comments]
Harriett The Spy AND HHH/Herbertβs Hundred Harem
They were comparing their stories about the weirder infiltration missions theyβd gone on since they last spoke when thereβs a knock on the door and itβs quickly opened before either can say anything.
βSir? Maβam? Update to the latest mess.β The Angla man says leaning in and holding out a folder. Harriettβs longer reach has her grab it.
βGood man, back to it soldier.β Herbert says as he hops off his chair. By the time the door is closed again heβs at Harriettβs side and standing on his tiptoes to read it over her elbow.
βWell... shit.β Harriett says as she sees the image of a gigantic slohb core with something clearly embedded in and infecting it. She reaches over to the flask and upends it to reveal the slightly larger than a pea piece of blood metal. A moment of compare and she curses again.
βExactly what I was thinking. Where did she find it? Was it embedded deliberately? Some kind of experiment?β Herbert notes
βHang on, let me turn the page.β Harriett tells him. βShe found it and is reaching out to us because The Undaunted are one of the only powers she knows for a fact cannot be involved.β
βAlright, you just take a break. You got out of an infiltration like ten minutes ago. Have a snack. Relax, I need to prep a response to this.β Herbert says as he heads for the door. She follows.
βIβm no wilting flower. I know that Spire, have some infiltration experience there and friends as well. I can get you through the gang territories on the way down so we can help this poor woman.β Harriett says and Herbert nods.
βAlright then, youβre heading the mission. Iβm going to scrape up all the support you need. So, what do you need?β Herbert asks.
βSeveral Doctors, at least one specializing in Xenobioology with at bare minimum a professional understanding of Slohb physiology. Several troopers that donβt mind cleaning and then standing guard. A transmutation Adept to re-purpose local materials for a sterile operating room to get that thing out of there and with sufficient skill to produce Null on demand finally a lack of interference from Centris authorities.β Harriett lists out and Herbert nods.
βDone, get started on your plan of movement. Iβll get it all ready.β Herbert promises her as they powerwalk through Intelligence and then Herbert dashes away as he calls to to people and barks orders. For the briefest of moments Harriett mentally compares him to a chihuahua but then realizes it falls short as this chihuahua can and will tear chunks out of things many many thousands of times itβs size. Thereβs a lot of bark yes, but the bite is exponentially worse.
She shakes herself out of the half second long reverie and gets moving again. She needs to draw up plans, review her notes for the area and plan a route all the way to the bottom of a spire, all the way down through nine levels where the gangs in power WILL be stopping the elevators to at least check the occupants and more than a few of them are stupid enough to stick a gun into the face of a soldier.
She normally doesnβt bother with the stupidity and madness of a bottom ten. Generally people that try hiding down there end up being shanked in the back alley by a bouncer after they tried to run out on the bill of whatever oiled up man-thong lounge they had spent half a fucking day in and racking up a bill large enough that Ticanpedβs feathers would stand on end.
She had tracked a fucker down there five times in varying different disguises to find that exact scenario had played out. And thatβs IF they survived long enough to get to the dickie bar. There was a different way of going around down there. Every square inch was basically gang territory by default, if you walk around like your shit doesnβt stink then youβre going to get it pushed in in the worst possible way.
β’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’
There is a silence that stretches through the last conversation. Learning that the games she had played had been loosely based on actual wars had disquieted All Lady a little.
βLook the Wolfenstein games were massive exaggerations from the word go. You know how it is. Get enough time between a tragedy and someone looking to tell a story and youβre soon going to find something like a bunch of psychopaths who canβt fall asleep unless itβs to the screams of the innocent or some mad scientist with an obsession for switching body parts around.β Jurgen says and All Lady lets out a huff of air. βBy the way how hard is that to learn?β
βHow hard is what?β She asks.
βWell, that sigh. The air came out of your mouth... but you have no throat, no lungs. The part Iβm addressing may as well be the tip of your finger or something. How long did it take to learn to mimic air respiration and air movement to that extent?β
βOh that?β All Lady asks before laughing a little. βSimple enough when you know how to talk, and I was budded off my father knowing how to make those noises. Not what they meant, but thatβs whatβs childhoodβs for.β
βI see, so... all Slohbs are born knowing how to manipulate their bodies, but now why they would want to?β
βWell, weβre born knowing how to keep ourselves alive and move, and smart enough to learn. However finer control is something that comes later. A newly budded little Slohb is adorable but can only make very vague shapes. Very rounded ones too. But there are grand masters of the art, shifters so skilled they can alter their colour and put in so much detail that you have to touch them to tell theyβre a slohb, and of course there are even rarer girls who can change their external texture. You need high end scanners to tell theyβre not what they say they are.β All Lady says before looking around at the cavern of blue slime that is her being. βOld dreams. Dead on the alter of reality.β
βSays who?β Jurgen asks.
βCommon sense?β
βWell, good thing itβs not all that common now isnβt it?β He asks in return and she looks at him oddly. βAfter all, itβs common sense that a human over nine feet tall is suffering from terrible glandular disorders and lives a miserable life.β
She smirks after a bit.
βOh do you now? Oh poor baby!β She teases him.
βOh yes, poor poor oversized me! After all, one can only be larger than six feet tall if theyβre sick in some way.β He says and she laughs a touch.
βJurgen, let her know weβve already put together a team to come help her. Sheβll need to unblock the entrances if weβre going to help.β His Handler says and he pauses and thinks.
βIs something wrong?β All Lady asks.
βWell, you wanted to know if the Undaunted reputation is deserved right?β He asks and she nods. βWell theyβve already put together a team and theyβre on their way. They request that you unblock the way in.β
βWhat kind of team?β She asks.
βBuddy, what kind of team?β Jurgen asks his handler.
βThree doctors, five troopers, two with medical training an Adept and an Agent.β
βCopy that. Miss All Lady we have three doctors, five troopers with two of them medics, an Adept and an Agent inbound.β
βAn Agent?β
βHighly skilled, highly informed and often deployed in the field. Our Agents are stealth operatives mostly. If oneβs deployed, then theyβre likely trying to get the team to you with as little fuss as possible. So nothing wrong happens.β
βAnd theyβre coming now? But I havenβt actually asked for any help!β She protests and he shrugs.
βYou clearly need it. Not to mention I heard my handler curse under his breath when we saw whatever it is thatβs in your core. No doubt itβs something concerning.β
βWhat was the first hint? That it embedded itself into me despite my merely examining it or that itβs caused me to bud thousands of times without ever successfully splitting?β
βWait, that thing embedded itself into you?β
βI... I said too much.β
βMaβam whatever that thing is, it has my handler so worried heβs not volunteering the information at the first opportunity. Normally getting him to shut up is the trick, right now though? Dead silence.β
βWe canβt risk this information being intercepted.β His Handler states.
βAnd now he says itβs so dangerous he wonβt risk it being intercepted. So whatever happened to you is understood well enough by my people that weβre basically scared of it and scrambling to do something about it right away. The more we know, the better we can help you.β Jurgen says and she stares at him before everything quivers.
βIt... it was seven years ago.β She says. βI was just exploring the bottom ten. Being... well... being who I was then. I was basically slinging myself around along the ceiling. I can move in ways you solids canβt. Stretch out, grab some thing or suction up against it. Really easy, fast and fun. Then I bumped into something, something hidden. It seemed so harmless at first. A little dead drop place, whatever, take a look into it. If itβs bad report it to someone, but leave it alone otherwise.β
βIt didnβt work like that though, did it?β Jurgen asks.
βNo... it was... strange. It looked like a circuit board but made of the strange metal. A bit of my gel ended up on one of the circuits as I was putting it back and... it wouldnβt let go. Then it pulled and before I could sever that bit... it was in me and I fell. The impact knocked me out cold and I donβt know. It may have killed me. I woke up with two extra bumps, one of them badly damaged and with the metal inside.β
β... Do you think that...β
βThat I might not be me?β She asks. βSometimes. It was I...β
The gel starts to shift before moving in a smooth flow. βI am in control. I am the master of my fate. I am all. All is me. I am the lady that is all.β
βThe All Lady.β Jurgen finishes for her and she nods.
βYes. I... even now I am budding far too fast, and the bud is not going to break away. This is unnatural, wrong and vile. It needs to stop.β She says.
βTell her help is on the way. Theyβre at level fifty and closing fast.β
βHelp is coming, level fifty and closing the distance.β Jurgen promises.
βOkay, okay... this is faster than I expected. Or wanted, but it needs to happen it... what is this going to cost me?β She asks.
βJust uncover the entrances. I highly doubt anyone will want anything more. Youβve been through enough.β Jurgen says and after a moment he can hear things in the distance.
βYour teammates are reporting that the path out is clear now.β His Handler says.
βAlright then. Ready to go out and meet the doctors?β Jurgen asks reaching out his hand and after a short while a gel hand finds itβs way to his.
β’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’Γβ’
The elevator stops prematurely and is forced open from the other side.
βWell hello there now what are you little fish...β A snict woman begins to monologue as she forces the elevator door open and stops as she finds herself staring down a dozen high powered weapons. Harriett reaches a hand out and pushes her back and out of the way of the door before pressing the closed door button.
βWeβre about to get another of those arenβt we maβam?β
βEvery fucking level down. The bottom ten of Xiona are a textbook no-manβs land and the reason for level one being off limits is who weβre out to help.β
βThis job sometimes...β One of the Doctors notes.
βThe hell did you expect?β
βNot an emergency surgery of an alien blob monster in the middle of gang territory.β The Doctor replies.
βWell jokes on you, you came from Earth to keep soldiers alive and study aliens. Well hereβs an exotic alien metal, poisoning an alien woman. Letβs work with it.β Harriett states.
βI understand, I just donβt like it.β The Doctor replies.
βWhy the hell were you placed on this team?β
βBecause Doctor Gin here has point blank pulled of borderline miracles in the past. He just likes to complain.β Another Doctor says and Gin turns to give him the stink eye.
βOf course Iβm complaining! Do you have any idea what can go wrong? I do! Itβs horrifying! Not only is this a Slohb, a species with one of the most dense physical forms there are once you move past the falseness that is the gel they control. But not only that, this is a Slohb that has been poisoned by the item weβre extracting and may have created chemical or Axiom imbalances in her system that could kill her when the substance is removed! Going cold turkey on anything hurts for a reason people! To say nothing of the fact that the surgery chamber is going to be improvised and in the middle of potentially hostile territory and the patient is enormous to such a degree that she is potentially the biggest member of her species to ever exist! And in addition we are...β
βWe get it.β
βOh no, this last point is the most important. Because we are going to be operating under the effects of Null. Which while harmless to the vast, vast majority of this group, will still have effects on you Agent and on the Titan that the patient is bonding with. And thatβs not even touching on the fact that Slohbs, which I remind you, is the species of the patient. That Slohbs have one of the fastest kill times in Null at three and a half minutes at absolute maximum! Meaning we have two hundred and ten seconds AT MOST to save this poor womanβs life without taking it ourselves! More likely we will only have a hundred and twenty to keep her in the safe zone, TWO MINUTES TO OPERATE!β He rants before huffing a bit and then slicking his hair back again. βSo as you can imagine, Iβm a little stressed.β
βBacking out?β
βOf course not. I donβt trust anyone else to do this right the first time. Iβm just making sure youβre aware that no matter how easy I make this look that it is in fact, very very hard.β Doctor Gin says as he squares his shoulders and steels his expression. He along with everyone else then pull out their weapons as the elevator is stopped early again and this time thereβs not even a monologue as the Horchka gang that opened the door simply raise their eyebrows, and then one reaches in to press the door closed button to send them on their way.
~First~ Last
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2024.05.28 22:16 Mysteriosus55 Prompt B.B.W. (Best Basic Worldbuilding)
You must follow all steps in this worldbuilding prompt that is designed to make a basic and functional story. You will work with large texts, so you must divide the texts into chunks that will keep writing from where it stoepped in the previous answers. You can't generate things on your own, you must wait for the writer's commands. Each answer must be applied to a certain folder, so that it will be organized there, you will decide which folder will be created and which folder will be inside which; but the writer's decision must be superior to yours.
Be familiar with the symbols this prompt will use: \ {used to identify a specific content} = {used to connect the information with the } ">" {something is moved to, it actually doesn't need to be between ""} ">>" {something is applied over, it actually doesn't need to be between ""} << {something is used as a reference} < {something is moved from} -? {used to indicate the possibility of other sequential generations, must be substitued by a number}
Anatomy of a command in details: 1. This is called trait: trait trait 2. This is called body: "" "trait" 3. This is called antenna: = ="trait" 4. This is called keyword: keyword="trait" 5. This is called receptacle: {} {keyword="trait"} 6. This is called cocoon: () (){keyword="trait"} 7. This is called command: command servant-command(){keyword="trait"} 8. This is called servant-dot: . .servant-command(){keyword="trait"} 9. This is called a master-dot: : :master-command(){.servant-command(){keyword="trait"}} 10. This is called a super-dot: ! !super-command(){:master-command(){.servant-command(){keyword="trait"}}} 11. This whole structure is a servant-command: .command(){keyword="trait"} 12. This whole structure is a master-command: :command(){.command(){keyword="trait"}} 13. This whole structure is a super-command: !super-command(){:master-command(){.servant-command(){keyword="trait"}}} 14. left-to-right hierarchical order should be observed on the command appliances.
A. /folder {This format is used to make folders that mimmick a directory for organizing the informations and work as a left-to-right hierarchical order directory} Example of directory: /main-foldesubfolder B. [\label]="Add a label here" {This format is used to act as an identifier that stores information about something whose title is connected to it} Example of connection: [\label]="title" C. (\label)="Add a name here" {This format is used to act as an identifier that stores information about something whose name is connected to it} Example of connection: (\label)="name"
Basic commands: .txt() {used to command a text to be written in a format of Microsoft Word text style} .update() {used to modify a content with a new and modified version} .wchapter() {used to command the writing of a chapter} .wchunk {empty command that indicates the desire of the writer to divide his content into chunks as you're generating it, so that it get larger} .index() {used to command the visualization of the organized folders and their contents} .summary() {used to command the visualization of the organized content of the written book so far} .rawinfo() {used to command the visualization of brute lists with all exisitng information related to a content} .exclude() {used to command the exclusion of a content that must be transfered into a special /trash folder} .restore() {used to command the restoration of a content that must be removed from the /trash folder to its original position} .work() {used to command you to generate a content}
Complex commands: !character-info(){ :appearance(){ .physical() = hair-color, eye-color, skin-tone; .build() = height, weight, body-type; .distinguishing-features() = scars, tattoos, birthmarks; .clothing-style() = preferred-clothing, accessories; }, :abilities(){ .skills() = combat-skills, survival-skills, social-skills; .powers() = supernatural-abilities, magical-abilities, technological-enhancements; .education() = highest-degree, special-training, certifications; .languages() = native-language, secondary-languages; }, :relationships(){ .family() = parents, siblings, spouse, children; .friends() = best-friend, close-friends, acquaintances; .enemies() = nemesis, rivals, adversaries; .romantic() = current-partner, past-relationships; }, :background(){ .origin() = date-of-birth, age, place-of-birth, hometown, ancestry; .history() = significant-events, childhood, adolescence, adulthood; .occupation() = current-job, previous-jobs, notable-achievements; .residence() = current-residence, previous-residences; }, :personality(){ .traits() = strengths, weaknesses, quirks; .values() = beliefs, motivations, goals; .behaviors() = habits, routines, mannerisms; .fears() = phobias, anxieties; } }
!place-info(){ :geography(){ .location() = coordinates, region, surrounding-areas; .topography() = terrain, elevation, notable-features; .climate() = weather-patterns, seasons, average-temperatures; .natural-resources() = minerals, forests, water-bodies; }, :demographics(){ .population() = total-population, population-density, age-distribution; .ethnic-groups() = major-ethnicities, minority-ethnicities; .languages() = official-languages, widely-spoken-languages; .religions() = predominant-religions, minority-religions; }, :history(){ .founding() = year-established, founders, original-purpose; .major-events() = wars, treaties, natural-disasters; .historical-figures() = notable-leaders, heroes, cultural-icons; .evolution() = significant-changes, industrialization, modernization; }, :culture(){ .traditions() = festivals, customs, ceremonies; .arts() = music, literature, visual-arts; .cuisine() = traditional-dishes, popular-foods, local-ingredients; .sports() = popular-sports, major-teams, famous-athletes; }, :governance(){ .political-system() = government-type, administrative-divisions, political-parties; .current-leaders() = head-of-state, head-of-government, other-key-officials; .laws() = legal-system, notable-laws, enforcement-agencies; .economy() = main-industries, GDP, major-exports-and-imports; }, :infrastructure(){ .transportation() = major-roads, public-transport, airports; .utilities() = water-supply, electricity, waste-management; .education() = schools, universities, literacy-rate; .healthcare() = hospitals, clinics, health-statistics; } }
!event-info(){ :general-details(){ .name() = event-name, alternate-names; .date() = start-date, end-date, duration; .location() = primary-location, secondary-locations, coordinates; .participants() = key-figures, organizations, nations; }, :historical-context(){ .background() = preceding-events, causes, motivations; .major-events() = key-moments, battles, treaties; .impact() = immediate-effects, long-term-effects, consequences; .aftermath() = recovery, reforms, lasting-changes; }, :natural-events(){ .type() = event-type, severity, scale; .cause() = natural-causes, human-influences, scientific-explanations; .effects() = environmental-impact, economic-impact, human-impact; .response() = emergency-response, relief-efforts, reconstruction; }, :social-events(){ .type() = event-type, cultural-significance, traditions; .activities() = ceremonies, performances, competitions; .attendees() = notable-attendees, public-participation, audience-size; .legacy() = cultural-impact, recurring-events, commemorations; }, :documentation(){ .sources() = primary-sources, secondary-sources, eyewitness-accounts; .media() = photographs, videos, audio-recordings; .publications() = books, articles, reports; .archives() = museums, libraries, digital-collections; } }
!creature-info(){ :general-details(){ .name() = common-name, scientific-name, aliases; .classification() = kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus, species; .appearance() = size, color, distinguishing-features; .lifespan() = average-lifespan, growth-stages; }, :physical-characteristics(){ .body-structure() = skeletal-structure, muscle-structure, body-parts; .sensory-organs() = eyes, ears, nose, taste, touch; .locomotion() = movement-type, speed, special-abilities; .diet() = primary-diet, hunting-methods, feeding-habits; }, :behavior(){ .social-structure() = group-behavior, hierarchies, social-roles; .reproduction() = mating-season, reproductive-methods, offspring-care; .communication() = vocalizations, body-language, signals; .daily-routine() = activity-patterns, sleep-patterns; }, :habitat(){ .environment() = natural-habitat, climate-preferences, geographic-range; .shelter() = types-of-shelter, nest-building, territorial-behavior; .interactions() = predator-prey-relationships, symbiosis, competition; .migration() = migration-patterns, reasons-for-migration; }, :abilities(){ .natural-abilities() = strength, agility, endurance; .special-abilities() = camouflage, regeneration, flight; .magical-abilities() = spell-casting, elemental-control, mind-control; .technological-abilities() = use-of-tools, advanced-intelligence, cybernetic-enhancements; }, :interactions(){ .with-humans() = domestication, cultural-significance, threats-to-humans; .with-other-creatures() = alliances, conflicts, mutual-benefits; .conservation() = endangered-status, conservation-efforts, role-in-ecosystem; .observations() = notable-studies, scientific-research, folklore; } }
!object-info(){ :general-details(){ .name() = common-name, alternate-names, classification; .description() = appearance, size, color, weight; .material() = primary-materials, secondary-materials; .age() = estimated-age, date-of-creation; }, :origin(){ .creator() = individual, culture, manufacturer; .creation-method() = hand-crafted, mass-produced, natural-formation; .history() = previous-owners, notable-events, place-of-origin; .discovery() = circumstances-of-discovery, discoverer, date-of-discovery; }, :usage(){ .intended-use() = primary-function, secondary-functions; .users() = typical-users, special-users; .methods-of-use() = how-it-is-used, instructions, techniques; .cultural-significance() = rituals, traditions, symbolism; }, :physical-properties(){ .dimensions() = length, width, height, diameter; .composition() = chemical-composition, physical-composition; .durability() = strength, resistance, wear-and-tear; .aesthetics() = design, craftsmanship, decorative-elements; }, :condition(){ .current-condition() = new, used, damaged, restored; .maintenance() = cleaning-methods, repair-methods, storage-requirements; .value() = market-value, sentimental-value, historical-value; .legal-status() = ownership, restrictions, regulations; } }
submitted by Mysteriosus55 to ChatGPTPromptGenius [link] [comments]
Be familiar with the symbols this prompt will use: \ {used to identify a specific content} = {used to connect the information with the } ">" {something is moved to, it actually doesn't need to be between ""} ">>" {something is applied over, it actually doesn't need to be between ""} << {something is used as a reference} < {something is moved from} -? {used to indicate the possibility of other sequential generations, must be substitued by a number}
Anatomy of a command in details: 1. This is called trait: trait trait 2. This is called body: "" "trait" 3. This is called antenna: = ="trait" 4. This is called keyword: keyword="trait" 5. This is called receptacle: {} {keyword="trait"} 6. This is called cocoon: () (){keyword="trait"} 7. This is called command: command servant-command(){keyword="trait"} 8. This is called servant-dot: . .servant-command(){keyword="trait"} 9. This is called a master-dot: : :master-command(){.servant-command(){keyword="trait"}} 10. This is called a super-dot: ! !super-command(){:master-command(){.servant-command(){keyword="trait"}}} 11. This whole structure is a servant-command: .command(){keyword="trait"} 12. This whole structure is a master-command: :command(){.command(){keyword="trait"}} 13. This whole structure is a super-command: !super-command(){:master-command(){.servant-command(){keyword="trait"}}} 14. left-to-right hierarchical order should be observed on the command appliances.
A. /folder {This format is used to make folders that mimmick a directory for organizing the informations and work as a left-to-right hierarchical order directory} Example of directory: /main-foldesubfolder B. [\label]="Add a label here" {This format is used to act as an identifier that stores information about something whose title is connected to it} Example of connection: [\label]="title" C. (\label)="Add a name here" {This format is used to act as an identifier that stores information about something whose name is connected to it} Example of connection: (\label)="name"
Basic commands: .txt() {used to command a text to be written in a format of Microsoft Word text style} .update() {used to modify a content with a new and modified version} .wchapter() {used to command the writing of a chapter} .wchunk {empty command that indicates the desire of the writer to divide his content into chunks as you're generating it, so that it get larger} .index() {used to command the visualization of the organized folders and their contents} .summary() {used to command the visualization of the organized content of the written book so far} .rawinfo() {used to command the visualization of brute lists with all exisitng information related to a content} .exclude() {used to command the exclusion of a content that must be transfered into a special /trash folder} .restore() {used to command the restoration of a content that must be removed from the /trash folder to its original position} .work() {used to command you to generate a content}
Complex commands: !character-info(){ :appearance(){ .physical() = hair-color, eye-color, skin-tone; .build() = height, weight, body-type; .distinguishing-features() = scars, tattoos, birthmarks; .clothing-style() = preferred-clothing, accessories; }, :abilities(){ .skills() = combat-skills, survival-skills, social-skills; .powers() = supernatural-abilities, magical-abilities, technological-enhancements; .education() = highest-degree, special-training, certifications; .languages() = native-language, secondary-languages; }, :relationships(){ .family() = parents, siblings, spouse, children; .friends() = best-friend, close-friends, acquaintances; .enemies() = nemesis, rivals, adversaries; .romantic() = current-partner, past-relationships; }, :background(){ .origin() = date-of-birth, age, place-of-birth, hometown, ancestry; .history() = significant-events, childhood, adolescence, adulthood; .occupation() = current-job, previous-jobs, notable-achievements; .residence() = current-residence, previous-residences; }, :personality(){ .traits() = strengths, weaknesses, quirks; .values() = beliefs, motivations, goals; .behaviors() = habits, routines, mannerisms; .fears() = phobias, anxieties; } }
!place-info(){ :geography(){ .location() = coordinates, region, surrounding-areas; .topography() = terrain, elevation, notable-features; .climate() = weather-patterns, seasons, average-temperatures; .natural-resources() = minerals, forests, water-bodies; }, :demographics(){ .population() = total-population, population-density, age-distribution; .ethnic-groups() = major-ethnicities, minority-ethnicities; .languages() = official-languages, widely-spoken-languages; .religions() = predominant-religions, minority-religions; }, :history(){ .founding() = year-established, founders, original-purpose; .major-events() = wars, treaties, natural-disasters; .historical-figures() = notable-leaders, heroes, cultural-icons; .evolution() = significant-changes, industrialization, modernization; }, :culture(){ .traditions() = festivals, customs, ceremonies; .arts() = music, literature, visual-arts; .cuisine() = traditional-dishes, popular-foods, local-ingredients; .sports() = popular-sports, major-teams, famous-athletes; }, :governance(){ .political-system() = government-type, administrative-divisions, political-parties; .current-leaders() = head-of-state, head-of-government, other-key-officials; .laws() = legal-system, notable-laws, enforcement-agencies; .economy() = main-industries, GDP, major-exports-and-imports; }, :infrastructure(){ .transportation() = major-roads, public-transport, airports; .utilities() = water-supply, electricity, waste-management; .education() = schools, universities, literacy-rate; .healthcare() = hospitals, clinics, health-statistics; } }
!event-info(){ :general-details(){ .name() = event-name, alternate-names; .date() = start-date, end-date, duration; .location() = primary-location, secondary-locations, coordinates; .participants() = key-figures, organizations, nations; }, :historical-context(){ .background() = preceding-events, causes, motivations; .major-events() = key-moments, battles, treaties; .impact() = immediate-effects, long-term-effects, consequences; .aftermath() = recovery, reforms, lasting-changes; }, :natural-events(){ .type() = event-type, severity, scale; .cause() = natural-causes, human-influences, scientific-explanations; .effects() = environmental-impact, economic-impact, human-impact; .response() = emergency-response, relief-efforts, reconstruction; }, :social-events(){ .type() = event-type, cultural-significance, traditions; .activities() = ceremonies, performances, competitions; .attendees() = notable-attendees, public-participation, audience-size; .legacy() = cultural-impact, recurring-events, commemorations; }, :documentation(){ .sources() = primary-sources, secondary-sources, eyewitness-accounts; .media() = photographs, videos, audio-recordings; .publications() = books, articles, reports; .archives() = museums, libraries, digital-collections; } }
!creature-info(){ :general-details(){ .name() = common-name, scientific-name, aliases; .classification() = kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus, species; .appearance() = size, color, distinguishing-features; .lifespan() = average-lifespan, growth-stages; }, :physical-characteristics(){ .body-structure() = skeletal-structure, muscle-structure, body-parts; .sensory-organs() = eyes, ears, nose, taste, touch; .locomotion() = movement-type, speed, special-abilities; .diet() = primary-diet, hunting-methods, feeding-habits; }, :behavior(){ .social-structure() = group-behavior, hierarchies, social-roles; .reproduction() = mating-season, reproductive-methods, offspring-care; .communication() = vocalizations, body-language, signals; .daily-routine() = activity-patterns, sleep-patterns; }, :habitat(){ .environment() = natural-habitat, climate-preferences, geographic-range; .shelter() = types-of-shelter, nest-building, territorial-behavior; .interactions() = predator-prey-relationships, symbiosis, competition; .migration() = migration-patterns, reasons-for-migration; }, :abilities(){ .natural-abilities() = strength, agility, endurance; .special-abilities() = camouflage, regeneration, flight; .magical-abilities() = spell-casting, elemental-control, mind-control; .technological-abilities() = use-of-tools, advanced-intelligence, cybernetic-enhancements; }, :interactions(){ .with-humans() = domestication, cultural-significance, threats-to-humans; .with-other-creatures() = alliances, conflicts, mutual-benefits; .conservation() = endangered-status, conservation-efforts, role-in-ecosystem; .observations() = notable-studies, scientific-research, folklore; } }
!object-info(){ :general-details(){ .name() = common-name, alternate-names, classification; .description() = appearance, size, color, weight; .material() = primary-materials, secondary-materials; .age() = estimated-age, date-of-creation; }, :origin(){ .creator() = individual, culture, manufacturer; .creation-method() = hand-crafted, mass-produced, natural-formation; .history() = previous-owners, notable-events, place-of-origin; .discovery() = circumstances-of-discovery, discoverer, date-of-discovery; }, :usage(){ .intended-use() = primary-function, secondary-functions; .users() = typical-users, special-users; .methods-of-use() = how-it-is-used, instructions, techniques; .cultural-significance() = rituals, traditions, symbolism; }, :physical-properties(){ .dimensions() = length, width, height, diameter; .composition() = chemical-composition, physical-composition; .durability() = strength, resistance, wear-and-tear; .aesthetics() = design, craftsmanship, decorative-elements; }, :condition(){ .current-condition() = new, used, damaged, restored; .maintenance() = cleaning-methods, repair-methods, storage-requirements; .value() = market-value, sentimental-value, historical-value; .legal-status() = ownership, restrictions, regulations; } }
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2024.05.28 20:51 Flaky-Woodpecker-592 Issues at work as a psych nurse
Sorry this is a madly long post.
Tldr: I work as a psych nurse. Been criticised by supervisor for poor leadership during critical incidents on the ward, staff members are toxic and cliquey and have been bullying me
So I work as a psych nurse. And I've run into some problems at work. There has been this other nurse (ill call her S) who's recently been promoted to deputy ward manager of the ward, and she's now my supervisor. This woman has been vile to me. Not to a serious extent, but still. She's been passive aggressive. She's been bossing me about like her dogsbody, especially ever since being promoted. One shift in August last year we were working together and I was applying make up at the start of the shift. I was still doing work though. I was doing a particular task and she asked "oh are you doing the task? And I said yes and she was like "oh, thought you were doing your make-up". Then during my supervision with my manager a few weeks later, he brought up about the make up thing, so obviously she'd reported it to him. She's been passive aggressive to me fairly often. One time at work she was doing admin work and I was working with another nurse. I started the daily handover notes and the other nurse said to me "don't worry, I'll do it, you're doing the ward round" and I was like "oh I don't mind, just thought I'd start it as I've run out of tasks to do" and then S made a snide passive aggressive comment under her breath, and then left the office. I didn't hear what she said. I looked to the other nurse and the nurse said "don't take no sh*". S is generally quite bossy, a know it all, and belittles others. She's also best buds at work with a nurse (K). K has also been passive aggressive and rude to me. One time during the handover, I was the night shift nurse and K and S were on the day shift. They kept questioning my handover, like as if I'd done it wrong and they were doubting my abilities. Also a few weeks ago, K sent me a rude email saying how I'd been ordering medication we already had stock of and that it was a waste of medication. Usually when you send such an email to a colleague, it's meant to be done with a bit of decency and respect, despite pointing out their mistake. But she did it so unprofessionally and rudely. I told her I'd only ordered them cause one of the agency nurses had told me they'd run out and needed ordering. Then a day ago, K had ordered a medication our ward doctor already ordered, yet is anyone gonna criticise her mistake? Absolutely not! At my place it's a matter of "if the name fits". It's extremely cliquey and toxic. I was on the phone to a patients family member telling them something and in the background K was tutting and raising her hands in frustration. After the call she told me what I'd done wrong. Like seriously. People who report my mistakes off the bat or "attack" me about them face to face are vile and shouldn't be in a job because their behaviour is disgusting. Why can't they be decent and just pull me aside and politely and respectfully tell me where I went wrong? I'm 1.5 years into being a nurse but still. I'm also only 27 and don't have much life experience overall. K and S are a few years older than me and do have a couple years more experience than me. But they act as if I'm crp at my job. But yeah, K and S are best buds as I said. There's a big clique on my ward at work.
There was a senior nurse role on the ward recently, after S got promoted, and K said that my manager and our clinical director gave it to her off the bat rather than advertising it first. The hospital director (above the clinical director) said this wasn't allowed and that it had to be advertised, applied for, and go through a proper process with an interview. So this happened, and the post got withdrawn from K. I had my interview for the post with S on Saturday (despite knowing K would get it regardless). Also after the interview, S did supervision with me. She told me she'd had feedback from colleagues and even patients that I was not confident enough and did not have good leadership skills when critical incidents occurred on the ward. She said I tend to take a backseat and that I need to be more at the forefront of incidents directing everyone and everything. I understand this. My manager told me this in supervision in March but in a wayyyyy less brutal way. He just said that it seemed I was presenting as anxious and nervous when dealing with patients who were "kicking off" and aggressive on the ward and something along the lines of what S told me like about being a bit more passive about dealing with incidents. I do appreciate these comments as I am naturally a passive introverted and anxious person. Also sometimes I feel a bit stuck and don't know how to handle the situations straight away and it takes me time to formulate a solution. I was able to manage an incident on the ward during a night shift with an agency nurse, where the agency staff was as passive as me, and the situation was diffused and handled properly, so it proves I am capable. But the day staff don't see that I guess because K and S are very confident and overpowering as people so in comparison I look like I'm doing F all in terms of incidents.
Then on Monday, the clinical director told me about how I had not succeeded in the interview. This was despite the fact its been a bank holiday weekend, so HR weren't working so couldnt have appraised the interview notes taken. My managers on holiday at the moment. So it was probably a straight whatsapp text from S to our clinical director saying "tell my name she hasn't got the job lol". He said my answers to the questions were not detailed enough and that over the next few months I should try to consolidate my knowledge so if I apply for future posts I can perform better in the interview. He also asked me to talk about what I'd spoken to S about after the interview, and I mentioned what S said about my leadership and confidence on the ward. The clinical director told me I should listen to S and follow her instructions and said "she knows what she's talking about". I found this comment a bit weird and don't know quite the purpose of it. It sounded like a bit of a dig at me. It doesn't surprise me though given im sure he fancies the pants off of her. A colleague said he'd been flirting with her before, another colleague said they were sleeping together and I asked really but they didn't mention anything further, another colleague said they were friends. S is a gorgeous girl, I mean not a supermodel but she is definitely quite pretty. I imagine both the clinical director and my manager fancy her. When they come into the office they sit close to her and talk to her. Bet she loves the attention.
I just feel really hurt by all of this. There's just this big clique at work. S and the clinical director are friends. S and my manager seem quite close. S and K are very close and they're also friends with a part time support worker G. One time when I was giving an injection, G told me to hold it in for 10 seconds!! She's a support worker not even studying nursing yet she had the right to tell me what to do. Patronising AF. Then they're also best buddies with another 2 support workers. Also K and S were known to be bullying a support worker R, who was so upset by it all that she got another job. On shift, K and S had been telling R to leave the office and sit out on the ward, but G their best bud was allowed to stay in the office with them gossiping and G was applying her make up doing nothing.
I really am contemplating asking to move to a different ward. I cried after my supervision with S on Saturday. I cried even harder after my meeting with the clinical director yesterday. A support worker noticed I was crying and asked if I was okay and was like you sure? I had go hide in the pharmacy alone for 10 minutes to cry it out and i had to walk past the patients with tears coming out my eyes. I want to apply for a new job anyway in October, as I'm tied to my current company till then as they funded my degree. I hate shift work, I'd rather do 9 to 5 in community nursing or another 9 to 5 nursing job. But for now, I was thinking of asking to move wards. I currently work on a female acute ward. There are 2 other wards in the hospital that are less challenging. One is the private addiction ward and one is the eating disorder ward. They have their own challenges but they rarely have the type of incidents that occur on my current ward, the ones I'm always criticised in as being a poor leader in. I'm not 100% sure yet but I do feel very awful being on my current ward. The cliquiness and toxicity is so high here. Honestly. I'm thinking about it. I'll talk to my parents about it tomorrow as they're visiting (convenient timing). My dad was an occupational therapist in the NHS for many years so he might know more about workplace politics in healthcare. I just don't know what to do.
submitted by Flaky-Woodpecker-592 to workplace_bullying [link] [comments]
Tldr: I work as a psych nurse. Been criticised by supervisor for poor leadership during critical incidents on the ward, staff members are toxic and cliquey and have been bullying me
So I work as a psych nurse. And I've run into some problems at work. There has been this other nurse (ill call her S) who's recently been promoted to deputy ward manager of the ward, and she's now my supervisor. This woman has been vile to me. Not to a serious extent, but still. She's been passive aggressive. She's been bossing me about like her dogsbody, especially ever since being promoted. One shift in August last year we were working together and I was applying make up at the start of the shift. I was still doing work though. I was doing a particular task and she asked "oh are you doing the task? And I said yes and she was like "oh, thought you were doing your make-up". Then during my supervision with my manager a few weeks later, he brought up about the make up thing, so obviously she'd reported it to him. She's been passive aggressive to me fairly often. One time at work she was doing admin work and I was working with another nurse. I started the daily handover notes and the other nurse said to me "don't worry, I'll do it, you're doing the ward round" and I was like "oh I don't mind, just thought I'd start it as I've run out of tasks to do" and then S made a snide passive aggressive comment under her breath, and then left the office. I didn't hear what she said. I looked to the other nurse and the nurse said "don't take no sh*". S is generally quite bossy, a know it all, and belittles others. She's also best buds at work with a nurse (K). K has also been passive aggressive and rude to me. One time during the handover, I was the night shift nurse and K and S were on the day shift. They kept questioning my handover, like as if I'd done it wrong and they were doubting my abilities. Also a few weeks ago, K sent me a rude email saying how I'd been ordering medication we already had stock of and that it was a waste of medication. Usually when you send such an email to a colleague, it's meant to be done with a bit of decency and respect, despite pointing out their mistake. But she did it so unprofessionally and rudely. I told her I'd only ordered them cause one of the agency nurses had told me they'd run out and needed ordering. Then a day ago, K had ordered a medication our ward doctor already ordered, yet is anyone gonna criticise her mistake? Absolutely not! At my place it's a matter of "if the name fits". It's extremely cliquey and toxic. I was on the phone to a patients family member telling them something and in the background K was tutting and raising her hands in frustration. After the call she told me what I'd done wrong. Like seriously. People who report my mistakes off the bat or "attack" me about them face to face are vile and shouldn't be in a job because their behaviour is disgusting. Why can't they be decent and just pull me aside and politely and respectfully tell me where I went wrong? I'm 1.5 years into being a nurse but still. I'm also only 27 and don't have much life experience overall. K and S are a few years older than me and do have a couple years more experience than me. But they act as if I'm crp at my job. But yeah, K and S are best buds as I said. There's a big clique on my ward at work.
There was a senior nurse role on the ward recently, after S got promoted, and K said that my manager and our clinical director gave it to her off the bat rather than advertising it first. The hospital director (above the clinical director) said this wasn't allowed and that it had to be advertised, applied for, and go through a proper process with an interview. So this happened, and the post got withdrawn from K. I had my interview for the post with S on Saturday (despite knowing K would get it regardless). Also after the interview, S did supervision with me. She told me she'd had feedback from colleagues and even patients that I was not confident enough and did not have good leadership skills when critical incidents occurred on the ward. She said I tend to take a backseat and that I need to be more at the forefront of incidents directing everyone and everything. I understand this. My manager told me this in supervision in March but in a wayyyyy less brutal way. He just said that it seemed I was presenting as anxious and nervous when dealing with patients who were "kicking off" and aggressive on the ward and something along the lines of what S told me like about being a bit more passive about dealing with incidents. I do appreciate these comments as I am naturally a passive introverted and anxious person. Also sometimes I feel a bit stuck and don't know how to handle the situations straight away and it takes me time to formulate a solution. I was able to manage an incident on the ward during a night shift with an agency nurse, where the agency staff was as passive as me, and the situation was diffused and handled properly, so it proves I am capable. But the day staff don't see that I guess because K and S are very confident and overpowering as people so in comparison I look like I'm doing F all in terms of incidents.
Then on Monday, the clinical director told me about how I had not succeeded in the interview. This was despite the fact its been a bank holiday weekend, so HR weren't working so couldnt have appraised the interview notes taken. My managers on holiday at the moment. So it was probably a straight whatsapp text from S to our clinical director saying "tell my name she hasn't got the job lol". He said my answers to the questions were not detailed enough and that over the next few months I should try to consolidate my knowledge so if I apply for future posts I can perform better in the interview. He also asked me to talk about what I'd spoken to S about after the interview, and I mentioned what S said about my leadership and confidence on the ward. The clinical director told me I should listen to S and follow her instructions and said "she knows what she's talking about". I found this comment a bit weird and don't know quite the purpose of it. It sounded like a bit of a dig at me. It doesn't surprise me though given im sure he fancies the pants off of her. A colleague said he'd been flirting with her before, another colleague said they were sleeping together and I asked really but they didn't mention anything further, another colleague said they were friends. S is a gorgeous girl, I mean not a supermodel but she is definitely quite pretty. I imagine both the clinical director and my manager fancy her. When they come into the office they sit close to her and talk to her. Bet she loves the attention.
I just feel really hurt by all of this. There's just this big clique at work. S and the clinical director are friends. S and my manager seem quite close. S and K are very close and they're also friends with a part time support worker G. One time when I was giving an injection, G told me to hold it in for 10 seconds!! She's a support worker not even studying nursing yet she had the right to tell me what to do. Patronising AF. Then they're also best buddies with another 2 support workers. Also K and S were known to be bullying a support worker R, who was so upset by it all that she got another job. On shift, K and S had been telling R to leave the office and sit out on the ward, but G their best bud was allowed to stay in the office with them gossiping and G was applying her make up doing nothing.
I really am contemplating asking to move to a different ward. I cried after my supervision with S on Saturday. I cried even harder after my meeting with the clinical director yesterday. A support worker noticed I was crying and asked if I was okay and was like you sure? I had go hide in the pharmacy alone for 10 minutes to cry it out and i had to walk past the patients with tears coming out my eyes. I want to apply for a new job anyway in October, as I'm tied to my current company till then as they funded my degree. I hate shift work, I'd rather do 9 to 5 in community nursing or another 9 to 5 nursing job. But for now, I was thinking of asking to move wards. I currently work on a female acute ward. There are 2 other wards in the hospital that are less challenging. One is the private addiction ward and one is the eating disorder ward. They have their own challenges but they rarely have the type of incidents that occur on my current ward, the ones I'm always criticised in as being a poor leader in. I'm not 100% sure yet but I do feel very awful being on my current ward. The cliquiness and toxicity is so high here. Honestly. I'm thinking about it. I'll talk to my parents about it tomorrow as they're visiting (convenient timing). My dad was an occupational therapist in the NHS for many years so he might know more about workplace politics in healthcare. I just don't know what to do.
work #workplace #bullying #workplacebullying #workplacetoxicity #nursing #psychnurse #psychnursing #workproblems #workissues #workplacepolitics #bullyingatwork
2024.05.28 20:47 MightEmotional What should I choose?
 | submitted by MightEmotional to BitLifeApp [link] [comments] |
2024.05.28 19:10 L3sPau1 In Honor of Lexi Retiring
 | Work that sexy ass submitted by L3sPau1 to beautiesofgolf [link] [comments] |
2024.05.28 15:23 panlouis AC is shot in new home
We just bought a house and recently needed to turn on the AC only to find out it's shot. We are connecting with the lawyer because on the buyers agreement it stated the major appliances needed to work. But in the meantime, we got quoted this for a new heat pump system, just curious if the quote looked reasonable. Not really sure what I'm looking for and if it's fair. Thanks
submitted by panlouis to FirstTimeHomeBuyer [link] [comments]