Hey there!
So this is my first ever script and is sort of based on some fantasy scenarios that I have been using to help myself sleep since going on HRT last year (Wooo!) A lot of Trans stories I see in the ASMR community are about those who are just coming out or are dysphoria comfort etc.
And since its Pride month I thought I may as well share one of my own comfort scenarios in case anyone else may also find it so
Since, for my own personal journey, I just wish that someone could have seen the me that I hid behind the shell and veneer I showed to the world for 16 years after coming to terms with being Trans back in High School in like 07-ish. And hence why this is written this way. Anyone enough about me
To be clear, the listener does indeed know they are Trans feminine/Non-binary. I have tried to leave that a bit ambiguous, using only they/them/their pronouns from the speaker in regards to the listener. I am also fine with ANYONE voicing this regardless of gender identity and changing the speaker to fit such (Eg; Prince instead of Princess) and with this being explicitly labelled for TF or NB etc. Just please give me credit for the script if used
You may monetise this on any platform, if you do please give me a link.
I would also love any and all feedback and constructive criticism. (Spelling is in Australian English)
I think that's everything, so THE SCRIPT!!!
First Extra Details:
-dashes- indicate sfx (optional)
Names in [brackets] are fine to change
Princess Lee=P
[Mira} is optional lines for a second voice if wished but are COMPLETELY optional and the script should work with or without them.
[Mira] and Princess [Lee] share 1 short line that either or both can speak.
K=Knight/unnamed listener’s lines, Obviously these are unspoken but have “marks” to illustrate them as separate.
SCRIPT STARTS BELOW
-knocks on a door-
(slightly muffled)
Princess: You may Enter.

-Opening door creak-

P: Ah finally! You are the last one you know? Of course you do. I’m sure the disappointment of not being selected to be my personal guard has been spreading through all the other nominees as they returned to the barracks rejected, yes?

“K: It has your highness.”

P: (stifled chuckle) …Well then, take a seat on my couch, opposite me please. (give a few second pause for them to reach the couch and sit) As you may have guessed then, as the last potential candidate, you have been selected though to be honest it was always a bit, uh, rigged from the start?

“K: Rigged?”

P: Yes, you see, well, as I’m sure you are aware, all of us in the Royal Family already have our own specially trained Shadow. A personal right-hand to be our guard, our confidant…our friend. [Mira] over there on the recliner is mine…as again I am sure you are well aware. Apologies I am a bit more flustered than I thought I had prepared myself to be.

(Take a deep Breath)

P: You see these tests and checks we’ve been doing for the past month are … not really for choosing my additional guard for my time in the [Magic University] after all it is a very secure facility, and [Mira] would be able to accompany me to all classes and locations there anyway. Rather these were all tests to confirm whether my suspicions regarding you were true.

“K: What suspicions?”

[Mira]: Suspicions was probably the wrong word [Lee].

P: Oh no! I do not mean to accuse you of being a spy or anything of that sort! I trust with my entire being that you are more than loyal to this kingdoms’ people and my family. Rather I was referring to a … secret I believed you were withholding or, at least, one that you were not actively voicing or embracing of a more … personal nature to you. And if I am right, which I believe I am, then I fully understand. But before I say any more please know, whether I am right or wrong, this conversation will not leave this room. You are safe here either way. You have my WORD on that.

[M]: Both of our words.

P: You see, yes these tests have all been of a social engagement variety not only due to the environment at the [Magic University] not only to see how you would all behave as guards during such settings, but also as guests. After-all it is a primarily social form Academy, with the majority of students and teachers being women, and noble born ones at that. And as such rather than war rooms or sparring sessions, as you and the other knights would be used to, tea parties and balls are more of what would occur over the 3 years there.

[M]: You should probably elaborate more on the why not the school Lee.

P: Yes, you see this common knowledge was a helpful subterfuge for our actual tests. To see how well you could and would perform as the “guests” for the guards. And I do mean YOU specifically. Whilst we did pay attention to your fellow knights, it was mainly you we were paying attention to. How at the tea parties you sat so demurely and smiled, paying so much attention to the stories. Sitting with proper etiquette. How at the ball you hung back clearly uncomfortable in your suit … and your skin. Then when the dances came up, and we were partners… You let me lead.

[M]: Don’t worry, no one really noticed. Except for us, and even then, it is only because we were looking.

P: Your face during it. Your expression. You were so at peace. At all of these when you could fade into the background and enjoy yourself. Your face was always so … Happy. Whenever you didn’t have to play the knight. Having to be strong in front of everyone. Winning duels so that you can keep your hair as long as you like. Refusing promotions and the like so that you could stay safe and hidden. Turning down dates because they could only see the Strong Sir Knight resplendent in their masculinity…. But that’s not you is it? Not really.

[M]: Maybe you should start from the beginning Lee?

P: I began looking into year about 6 moths ago, when you turned down the promoting to lead your own platoon. I found it odd at first given that it would be quite an accomplishment for a knight as fresh as you into adulthood. But thought you were just holding out for something more or trying to just not be separated from your current squad yet. Being so involved in my own studies I didn’t think much more. UNTIL I was on a stroll through the gardens with [Mira] one afternoon as a break. When we came across you. Napping with your hair down in a very secluded spot. (warm giggle) with a cute flower crown and matching bracelet on.

[M]: No sword in view anywhere. Not often even a baby knight doesn’t trigger my alert or even “careful” radar. And ESPECIALLY one who has won even duels to keep their hair that long. Wouldn’t have seen you if we hadn’t decided to meander through the flower field

P: At first, we didn’t recognise you. You looked so different. So … androgynous and cute…. So feminine. So vastly different in comparison to how you hold and present yourself with the other knights. You were at so much peace then too. Not like the quiet conflict I realised you were showing all other times. In the following weeks we looked more into you as the sight became so burned into my memory.

[M]: Nothing too invasive. Well except….

P: [Mira] investigated your room in the barracks. Just a spot check. Comparing to the other knights. She didn’t go through your draws or anything. It was bare. No Decorations. No displayed gits or ornaments. Just some books, haircare products and a chess set. So barren and empty, in stark contrast to your fellow knights. No mirror either. Your Commander said you had it removed as it reflected the lights poorly and hindered your sleep.

[M/P]: But that’s not true, is it?

P: In truth, you find looking in the mirror to be stressful and/or weird. Like something doesn’t fit right. And it’s your reflection, isn’t it? It’s not what you see you as in your own head is it? It began to click for me at that time. Then we found out the knights had taken you in as one of their recruited volunteers from the Orphanage to help make space there for younger children. They took you in and raised you. Trained you to be the knight sitting before me. A path you would not have chosen otherwise, I’m sure.

[M/P]: Stuck in a role you do not want. With nowhere to return to. No other skills to utilise or survive on. Trapped.

P: But here is where I can offer you an escape. Another chance. Another way. First, I will let you know that no matter what, [Mira] and I will not be returning to the castle again. My Elder siblings can all fight for the throne, they are well aware that I will not come for it unless they hurt or threaten the people of our kingdom with malice. So this deal is a one time thing AND you must decide pretty much now. As such…

-clinking glasses-

P: In this vial that I will place to your right is a potion that will give you amnesia from the events of the last 24 hours. You will not remember this day, or this conversation [Mira] and I will claim that you tested a wine for me and discovered it was poisoned, saving me. We will leave the palace immediately with the rest of our wagon to [the Magic University], whilst you will be hailed as a hero and able to return to your current life.

-more glass clinking-

P: Whilst in this vial I will place to your left. If you choose this one you will come with us. We will still leave in the but in the morning, and you will have a new future and a chance to live. However, the reason we will leave in the morning rather than immediately? This is due to the vial containing a very potent potion that will flow your mana into me and WILL cause you to pass out. But by drinking this your mana won’t become mine but rather it will be…subservient to mine I can loan it or grow it with my own, but I will also be able to find you for the rest of our lives. And by choosing this you choose to become mine. For all intents and purposes you will be essentially be My Possession. My Pet. My Property. If you wish you can even be MY Princess. A new life and chance. But you must choose it.

**Give a 5-10 second pause here**

P: You are hesitating. Which in itself is an answer, isn’t it? Hey look at me. Here let me hold your face - Huh your check is so warm, and your eyes so beautiful... I promise you, By taking this yes, you will become mine, but that does not mean I will force you to become or do anything that you do not want to do. I want to you to be by my side yes. I want to watch you live and grow and become so much more than the knight-shell that sits before me. But YOU get to make that choice. I can only offer you it. As well as the unconditional love and support of having us there to help you become …well YOU.

-Glass clinking as the left vial is taken and drunk-
-Ruffling and moving as Princess Lee rushes to their side-

P: Oh, thank you for trusting me. Here Let my hold you as you drift off. I promise you that everything will be ok now. You can be whoever you need to be. And I will be there to love you my pet. Whoever you are. Whoever you will be. Tomorrow your new life, your true life can begin.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/Ready_405 posting in AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 2nd June 2024
Update - 7th June 2024
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Am I the asshole for feeling like my eldest daughter should be treated the same as my "real" children?
​
When my(M45) daughter(F13) was born I immediately felt that something was obviously amiss. She was blonde haired and blue-eyed, which was extremely unlikely for a child of myself and my ex-wife(f39).
I am very Mediterranean, and I have olive skin, dark eyes, and dark hair. My ex-wife has brown eyes and relatively dark brown hair. Her skin is barely lighter than mine. The baby also clearly bore no resemblance to me or anyone in my family at all. I had been having misgivings about my ex, too, and she seemed too quick to express surprise and make excuses.
Still though, I didn't want to throw away my marriage over what could have been my own misunderstanding of genetics, and so I signed the birth certificate.
I instantly knew that I was going to have a paternity test done, but something else surprised me. When I brought our little girl home, I still fell in love with her. It felt just like bringing my son(M14) home, and, looking at her, I still just saw her as an innocent, beautiful little baby. We bonded.
The paternity test came back negative, as I suspected it would, and I decided that our marriage was over. I still loved our little girl though. My then wife did everything that she could to drag out the divorce and refused to separate or move out.
My daughter's biological father (every bit as blonde and blue-eyed as I suspected)turned out to want nothing to do with her or my ex. He was already married with his own family, and his only focus was preventing the situation from blowing back on himself too much.
My ex went totally nuts when both I and her affair partner rejected her, and she made some very unfortunate decisions. To make a long story short, she ended up with prison time for crimes including identity theft, assault with a deadly weapon, and grand theft Auto, when she stole credit cards and forged documents for both of us, and when she stole her affair partner's car and tried to run him over with it.
I ended up with custody of our kids, with the affair partner never even attempting to establish any kind of paternity rights. I didn't want to press the issue myself, as I couldn't deny that I had bonded with this child, even knowing that she wasn't my real daughter.
I had been shunning my ex-wife as best I could and trying to move on with life after she was finally out of the house, it wasn't long before I got together with and married my current wife(F34), and we've since had another two children. (m10, f8)
My eldest daughter is a total Daddy's girl, and we have a wonderful relationship. She always feels loved, and I treat her the same as my other kids. Even though she obviously stands out, my family accepts her too, or at least that's what I thought.
I work for my father's company, and the other day we were out talking about the future and his will, and he was talking about what money/assets etc He wanted to leave to whom, including his grandchildren, and I noticed that my older daughter had been left out, I mentioned it to him, and he said, "It's nice what you've done for (daughter's name), but you have real children, and obviously they should come first,"
I interrupted him, and I told him that She is my real daughter, and that I thought she should be treated equally. He just paused and looked at me for a moment, and he said, "I guess you feel how you feel," before he noticed I was still about to argue with him and he shrugged and moved the conversation on to things about work and my siblings. I was too polite to try to force the matter at the time, but it sort of stuck with me.
My father isn't the type of man to harp on a point, and I am certain that he's content to have said his piece and would let the matter drop. He could certainly tell that what he said upset me, and so I doubt he'd bring it up again. Frankly, he sort of raised me the same way.
At the time, I was shocked, because he's always seemed to accept my daughter as a part of the family. He buys her gifts for her birthday and for Christmas, and he makes her feel welcome, but, thinking about it, he really is just a kind, polite, and generous man in a lot of ways. He will and has bought Christmas gifts for high school friends or significant others, if he knew they were coming, and the same for other gift-giving occasions. He's generally very hospitable to anyone his friends or family bring around, so I thought that maybe it was just that, and I misinterpreted.
My wife is Asian, and so my eldest daughter always stands out. She's thin, and blonde, and blue-eyed, unlike pretty much anyone else in my family, and she's taller than any of the other girls or even most of the women, really, so I'm aware that she might look like the neighbor kid visiting or something. My wife loves her, and I know that she 100% accepts her as one of our kids, and she has been a great mom / stepmom.
I talked to my own mother, though, and while she's definitely closer to my daughter than my father is (They interact a lot more, and she includes my daughter with the other kids / other girls in family traditions and activities) I got a little bit of the same vibe from her. She was much more diplomatic, but it seems like she may also sort of consider my daughter to be sort of a guest / unfortunate orphan I'm hosting or something like that. She pointed out that I can make my own will however I want.
My daughter knows that she isn't biologically mine. That would have been hard to hide, even if we'd really had the opportunity. She doesn't want anything to do with either of her bio parents though. She's seen her biodad perhaps a handful of times in her entire life, and I don't even think he can remember her middle name. He seems to have pretty successfully kept his family together and his wife from leaving him, but he definitely doesn't want any involvement.
My ex-wife continued to spiral for a long while, and she lives in another state with another man and her own new family at this point. She mercifully rarely makes contact.
I've never really tried to go after either of them for money. I don't need it, and it's not a pot I want to stir.
My siblings are mostly supportive if a little bit mixed on the issue. Some of them say that they could never raise the child of a partner's affair, but all of them say that they love and accept their niece.
I just can't get over the way that I feel distant and upset about what my father said though. He's an extremely kind and generous man, and he's always taken care of his family. He's given me opportunities and a lifestyle that I could never have achieved without him. I love him and I look up to him. Maybe that's why I feel sort of, I don't know, betrayed? It feels wrong that she's the only one of his grandchildren to be left out of his will, apparently because he doesn't consider her a "real" grandchild. Intellectually, I can accept that he's technically correct, but it feels wrong. She is my daughter.
Am I wrong though? Am I just being entitled and unreasonable here? Am I the asshole?
​
Comments
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jacobydave
I get why members of your family might consider you foolish for raising the result of you ex-wife's affair, but honestly, it speaks well of your character that you treat her as your own. I wonder if your parents would be similarly non-accepting if you had adopted a child, because, practically, that is what happened. I wish you and your family the best. NTA.
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lawfox32
I think OP should ask his parents that. "If I had adopted a child, would you feel this way about that child? Okay, because that's what I did. I put my name on her birth certificate and raised her knowing she wasn't biologically mine. I adopted her and she's my daughter."
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Live_Western_1389
I agree. And tbh, she was born into your family and you have claimed her as your own child, same as if you’d adopted her or brought her into the world through birth. That’s very important to me. And tbh, anybody that didn’t want to accept that and wanted to treat that child differently from my other kids would not be someone I would want spending much time with any of my kids. NTA. I think you are an amazing dad.
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**Judgement - NTA*\*
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Update - 5 days later
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Just a small update. Thanks for the comments and wishes. It really put a lot of things into perspective and it confirmed to me that I needed to say something.
Some people seemed surprised at the way I let my daughter's bio parents "off the hook", so to speak. The main reason I've never tried to go after My ex or her affair partner for child support is that my daughter is more important than money. I'm not struggling at all, and I have the support I need. More importantly though, I have my daughter. Even though the affair partner didn't apparently want anything to do with her, my lawyer did mention way back in the day that either he or my wife, being her biological parents, could have a strong case for seeking custody.
I know I'm biased, but her bio dad seems like a huge asshole, and I know he doesn't care about her. I wouldn't put it past him to try to get custody just to duck out of paying child support though, if his hand was forced. And the idea of her having to go stay with him is just something I don't even want to think about.
Kind of the same thing when her mom got out of prison. She seemed like she was very quick to go shack up with her new guy, and she seemed willing to let the matter lie, so I did the same.
The fact that neither of them tried to get her, or, in my ex's case, the way she hasn't even bothered to keep much contact with our son either tells me more than everything I need to know about the kind of parents They are / would be. They only seem interested in their pre-existing/new families respectively. I wouldn't want to try to back them into trying to take custody. With my daughter being 13, it's possible that we've sort of "run out the clock" on that matter, but it's still not drama we need or a risk worth taking.
In better and more important news though, I talked with my dad.
I met with my father for lunch, which was easy enough, as he's around most days and we could sync up some time.
I mentioned that I wanted to talk about my daughter not being in his will, and I told him that even if it meant dividing what was being left to me or my other kids, I felt it was really important for her to be included. I also mentioned, as I felt, and as a lot of people pointed out, that it would be devastating for her to find out that she'd been excluded after his death.
My father agreed that that was a really good point, and he said that she is a lovely girl, that he does love her, and that he wouldn't want to add extra pain or bitterness to her life, especially at such a time.
Also, it had gotten around to him that I'd been sort of poling My siblings a little bit, and I think my mom talked to him some, and he said, "This is obviously very important to you. You're my son. I can just change it. It's not so much money anyway." And he was right. The amounts of money being left to individual grandchildren aren't massive, but the gesture and the thought are what's most meaningful. Mostly everything is going to my mom and or us his kids anyway.
Really, there was no reason for me to expect him to have been stubborn or hard-hearted about any of this. It was just something that we needed to talk about.
My father reiterated that Everyone loves my daughter and that she'll always be family and always have a home.
He has a gold bracelet that he has worn somewhat occasionally over the years, and he mentioned that my daughter thought it was pretty. When she was very little, she noticed it on his wrist and said that jewelry was for girls. He laughed and explained to her that sometimes boys wear jewelry too. She thought it was nice and he let her try it on even though it was way way too big for her wrist. She was a little toddler then. I didn't know about that moment between them, and I thought it was really sweet that he remembered. He said that he was going to leave her the bracelet and a note and that as far as money goes she'd get the same share as the rest of my kids.
So we had a nice lunch and we both felt better for it. Nothing too dramatic, but really the best way things could have gone.
Thanks everyone, for confirming that I wasn’t being crazy and confirming that I needed to talk to my father and set things right.
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Comments
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AppropriateArea1716
this is a happy update . your father is a good man and he raised you to be a wondrful man
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StrategyDue6765
Yeah. Glad to hear things worked out well with your dad! Sounds like he's got a good heart and made the right call. Wishing you and your family all the best!
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

Olympia had been unified at last, Dammekos’ great ambition had come to fruition thanks to Petra and Aristides. Yet the Tyrant of Lochos was still dissatisfied, he had noticed that Petra had been different since meeting Aristides. She was eating and drinking again, after years of avoiding such activities due to assassins. But even more concerning was that Aristides had her ear, his willful and petulant daughter who wouldn’t listen to her war council always took his word. He had decided to deal with Aristides appropriately, he had sent for him. Aristides bent the knee, he could see the displeasure in his eyes and knew that this could only mean that his usefulness had run its course.
Dammekos: Aristides, you have served me well for all these years.
Aristides: You honor me with your words, my king.
Dammekos: As such I have decided to reward you with an important position in one of my city states.
Aristides: Thank you my king.
Aristides knew this to be true, do not assume that a gift is a gift of love. Especially when it comes from a king, he was planning to send him to the farthest territory possible in exile.
Aristides: I have but one request, my king. Allow me to say goodbye to Petra.
Dammekos: Very well.
He sent a servant to fetch Petra, she stayed cooped up in her room whenever Aristides and Calliphone weren’t around.
Petra: Aristides, Father.
Aristides: Petra, I am…I have been given a very high position by King Dammekos.
Petra: Is that so, I am glad your work is being recognised.
Aristides: Yes well, it’s far far away. I’m afraid we won’t be able to have our chats as frequently anymore.
Petra could hear the lies he spoke with each breath, even though they were lies of omission. Petra loathed dishonesty, her hands clenched into fists. Until she felt his hand on hers.
Aristides: I will be fine Petra.
Petra: …Do what you want.
It was one truth but it was enough, he kissed her hand and smiled at Petra.
Aristides: I… I hope we can meet again soon.
Petra could see it in his eyes, he wanted to say something else but refrained from doing so. She knew what it was and it only embittered her more that he could never say it even now.
Petra: You’re a coward…
Aristides: I apologize, maybe someday I’ll have the heart to tell you.
Dammekos: Petra, you may now return to your quarters.
Aristides: I hope to see your designs in person someday, my lady.
Petra: I had hoped you would assist in their construction.
Petra turned away from him and returned to her quarters as ordered. Aristides was given time to pack, he paid off a servant to give one last gift to Petra before his departure. It was a love song, she could see it in the meter and rhyme. She could hear it in the sound as she plucked the strings of her lyre, it soothed the bitterness in her soul. But she still wished she got to hear him say those words.

This is going to be a long post. I suggest anyone who wants to give me advice should set aside some time to read this complicated situation.
I will add my family's race because it is relevant to the situation.
My family and I are Asian.
My Boyfriend's parents are conservative Americans in the way that they want Boyfriend to be the sole earner for his future family, but I would still have the freedom to work or become a housewife. A few weeks ago, my Boyfriend has told me that his mother has been making joke disguised hints about wanting grandkids from him. Today, he has told me that his parents are urging him to propose to me soon, in around 2 months.
My Boyfriend recently has been telling me how his parents has been wanting grandkids soon, but I did not expect that they wanted it THAT soon. I really respect his parents and they consider me family. As much as I want to please them, my Boyfriend and I both agree that we are not yet ready for marriage for reasons I will detail later in the post. My initial reaction was surprised, and we went into a detailed discussion after that.

1. The reason behind the suggestion of proposal.

My Boyfriend has told me that each of his parents both want for him to get married and start a family with me soon, but they both have different reasons behind it.
My Boyfriend has half-siblings from his father's first marriage. Boyfriend is the only child of his father's second wife, and the youngest out of his siblings. The age gap between him and the youngest half-sibling is almost 10 years.
His father is on borrowed time, as he was diagnosed with an illness relating to his nerves. He has expressed that he would like to see my Boyfriend get married and have a grandchild before he passes away. Boyfriend's grandfather died before meeting the youngest half-sibling, and Boyfriend's father wishes for that situation to not happen to him before he dies.
His mother's reason is simpler. Boyfriend was his mother's only child, and misses having a child present in her life. He has summed it up as her being ready to become a loving and involved grandparent.

1. The problems behind the suggestion and our reaction.

Boyfriend and I both live with our parents. Me living with my parents is more of the woman living with family until they are married and for financial reasons, while Boyfriend's living situation is just for financial reasons.
We had a tough time midway in our traditional college education and got delayed. However, we got back up and we are working towards a different path in education. We are now both currently working in jobs that don't pay enough to live on our own while we attend college in different degrees that would eventually get us high paying jobs in the oil industry. This will take the both of us at least a year before we can start making serious money.
The problem is that we both don't have a stable career at the moment, and it will take us at least a year to start making the kind of money enough to support us until retirement.
This is a problem both of us have brought up in the discussion and agree this is the main obstacle to what his parents are asking.
His parents proposing for us to get married and have kids involves money and living space both of us don't have yet. From what boyfriend has told me, they have proposed solutions to these problems, but he believes them to be not as well thought out as they have given him a barebones version of their so-far solution.
Their solution to marriage costs is to have a backyard wedding ceremony, with each family's wedding invite being a dish for everyone to eat. To be fair, they do have a very large and nice backyard, and I have no problem with backyard weddings if done very nicely.
Their solution to the living situation/kids is to have me move into their house. Boyfriend's parents have explained that they are willing to cover housing, living, and grandkids cost, to only worry about working/education so that we can save and earn as much money as possible.

1. My reaction and my family's possible reaction.

Right now, my family knows nothing about this situation. Only me. This happened just today during an outing. The only family members I will allow on being involved in this situation to support me are my parents (47F/51M). I have a younger brother (22M), and my guess is that he would be as clueless as I am in how to navigate this. I'm not expecting much from him in this situation anyways, but I know he will be there for me when I want to let anything out to vent and seek his opinion on.
As stated in point 2, in my culture, daughters live with their family until we are married. My parents also believe that an unmarried woman should never visit a man's house/family house as they think it is improper for a woman to do so. Contrarily, they don't think it is improper for a man to visit a woman's house/family house. The point is that they have conservative views on relationships and marriage regarding me, the only daughter. For those wondering, no they do not hold these same views with my brothers.
Based on this information and point 2, I believe my parents would be against the suggestion of me getting married and moving out of the house at this point of my life. Especially my father, as he has told me in occasion on how worried he is about living life away from family and would decide if I am ready to start life away from the family or not.
Personally, I also believe that I am not ready for marriage, but from a financial standpoint. I always ask myself if my finances can support any decision I would make. In this case, no. My current job isn't enough to fund a wedding or support a child. I know his parents are the one insisting on covering all living expenses, but it would make me and my boyfriend uncomfortable for them to do that in fear of strings being attached to it and feeling ashamed in not being able to provide all of this ourselves.

1. Did I give the "correct" response to how this situation with his parents should be handled?

At the end of the discussion, I told my boyfriend to let his parents have a discussion with my parents. This is a situation that involves differing beliefs between 2 families. I believe that it warrants a discussion between my Boyfriend, I, and both sets of our parents so that there is no conflict. Boyfriend has expressed that he is unsure if this discussion would change as his father's mind, as he has told me that he is a stubborn person. He is as unsure as I am in how the whole situation would turn out.
Was this the correct move on my part? This was my initial response at the beginning of the conversation, and still is after going into a long discussion. Please feel free to share me your perspective on this situation and your advice.
I will be updating this situation in the future for further advice since; to be honest, I have no clue whether what I do next would be the most "correct" action to this situation. I would like non-biased guidance along the way. Thank you for your time.

There are two types of confirmed in-game spirit weapons, the Eagle’s Patrimony necklace and the bracelet that Captain Khalida wears, but what types of objects would you like to see as spirit weapons?
Me personally, I think a dream catcher and a lantern would be a cool concept. The dream catcher would worn on the hip or wrist and would be filled with little soul crystals on the strings or something that would glow when the weapon was active. The lantern would sit on your waist and would be lit with a flame corresponding to your spirit color while active.

05:60 18/09/2073 The Palace of Eden, Eden City, The Garden of Eden

It turns out having hundreds of rooms empty in a palace comes in handy once in a while. The birth of the Son of God Herself was something which could not be handled in a public space. As such, a small hallway of rooms had become the main hub for the birth, rooms set up with doctors, nurses, and equipment, all prepared for any eventuality.
She was grateful, she supposed, as she lay in the bed which was likely to become the birthplace of her child. Every other minute it seemed like people were checking in on her, as if she was a delicate piece of porcelain laid over a fire, likely to fracture and break at any second. That was annoying, but she guessed it was for the best. She did wonder about the cognitive dissonance these people must be going through, actively treating their God as though She was a feeble creature, but based on their looks and voices, she could not see any clear indication that this bothered them. It did not matter to her, but she still wondered.
"All seems clear, contractions are still over 6 minutes apart and there's no real dilation yet, so I'd say its time to buckle up, you might be stuck here for a while".
As the Nurse continued to talk, her words became somewhat muddled in the Earth Mother's brain. She had been hoping this would be a fast, painless, modern process, but even with all the technology of the Commonwealth, it seems the birthing process had barely been improved. She was likely far more comfortable than most other mothers in history, so she took solace in that, but she wished the process would both begin and end rather soon.
"... we'll keep double-checking every 15 minutes to make sure there's no complications, but so far it seems like we're on track for a relatively normal birth".
She gave a tired smiled at the nurse, who smiled back and left the room. As the lady left, she held the door open for two to enter. Zalmoxis, dressed in a neat suit, and Pleistoros, in what she believed were sweatpants and a sweatshirt, walked in and took a seat near the edge of her bed. Behind them walked into the brooding figure that was Burebistan, who did his best to keep to himself at another seat in the room.
She eyed them both, her three sons. She had not expected them to come, knowing the work that was being done to complete the Expansion. Their appearance at her bedside was welcome, though she wondered whether it was for entirely wholesome reasons.
"I cannot say I have much experience with pregnancies, but from what I understand of them, you look well Mother..."
Zalmoxis seemed to hesitate as he spoke, as if he wasn't sure what to say.
"Well, as far as they keep telling me, this is the easiest part. I thought you'd all be too busy to be here today?"
She wasn't sure if three gods could look more like embarrassed teenagers. Zalmoxis went to speak but stopped himself, while Burebistan continued to stare off at some corner. Only Pleistoros would meet her gaze, even though she felt as if she hadn't meant anything by the question.
"We're all just in the finalising part of planning for the continued Expansion into Poland. So it's been a bit quiet as things transition from that and into action. We felt as though it made sense for us to welcome our new brother into the world".
Even the God of War seemed to falter as he reached the end of his sentence. All of them seemed upset, as if there was an unspoken issue she was not aware of. She went to go and ask, to try and figure out a question, but all that came out was a grunt. A massive contraction had hit, causing her to lose focus of that train of thought.
The three gods started on in uncertainty and confusion as two nurses came in. They had seen death, destruction, and abject horrors before, but this was enough to ruin any sense of normalcy in their mind. If she wasn't in so much pain she might've laughed at their faces, the way Zalmoxis immediately jumped off the bed when the contraction started, or how Pleistoros stared at her as if she was an alien. These gods seemed so fearful of pregnancy... or were they fearful of something else? What if...
"Looks like active labour came far faster than we thought. Your cervix has started to dilate, so we're going to move into active birthing procedures. Obviously, it might take a long time from now, but the baby is coming. So we're going to have to ask for anyone who isn't the father to leave the room now."
As if they were puppets on strings, all three gods filed out, each of them murmuring good luck as they exited. Doctors and other nurses/midwives entered as they left. One of the nurses turned to her.
"We've been trying to get God-King Iohannis here as quickly as possible. He is on the way, but based on how quickly you've transitioned into labour, its anyone's guess who will arrive first."
The Earth Mother smiled at the joke as the contraction died down. The nurse continued.
"Now, we do have the option of providing an epidural as pain relief. The choice is yours, but if you decline now we don't think we'll get the chance to put one in later."
She shook her head at the nurses questions. How would it look if God Herself required painkillers for one of the most natural processes. She had to manage the pain herself.
"In that case, we'll just make sure you're as comfortable as possible. Hopefully it's a quick labour, but we'll prepare for an overnight stay just incase."
The next hour and a half were a blur to her. Contractions came and went, numbers went up, and the amount of nurses and doctors seemed to excessively rise. She only came out of that blur when her latest contraction felt like hell.
"I think its time. We'll need you to start pushing."
She nodded, attempting to centre herself through the process. The doctors and midwives did their best to guide her, but the pain made it difficult for her to process anything beyond the labour itself. Tens of minutes went by, with seemingly no progress, only for the doctor to smile.
"I see a head, it looks like we'll have little complications. Keep pushing, your almost there."
As he said that, the door of the room slammed open, and in through it stumbled a sweaty, wild-eyed Iohannis. He made his way to the bedside next to her and she immediately grabbed his hand, feeling bones shift and muscles condense under her strength. To his credit, the God-King didn't even make a noise as this happened, instead listening intently to the doctor's overview of the situation at hand. Once satisfied, he turned back to her, and began doing his best to encourage her.
She wished she could say she acted in a dignified manner over the next 10 minutes. Truth be told, she barely remembered how she did act. All she knows is there was a lot of sweat, grunting, and swearing. It had all been worth it though as the doctor held up her firstborn.
"Its a girl! What will the name of this first one be, dearest Mother?"
She was happy that she had thought of names prior to this moment, as she saw Iohannis face turn from sheer joy to confusion at the words 'first one'.
"H₂éwsōs, The Goddess of Dawn!"
As she spoke it into existence, those gathered around her praised the child's name, now the heir to the Garden, before returning to the task at hand. Truth be told, she had dreaded this moment. She had not let anyone know that her pregnancy was twofold, that it wasn't only a firstborn she held within her. No, she was to give birth to twins, and the idea scared her even more than the initial pregnancy had. Perhaps not mentioning this to her husband was a mistake, but there was no time to lament on the past now. She pushed, and grunted, and pushed as hard as she could, Iohannis doing his best to recompose himself and assist. In what only took a few more minutes, her second child, a boy, would be born. As the doctor raised him up, she spoke his name.
"Dyēus-suHnús, Son of the Sky!"

The Garden Herald

Available to all! No division restrictions!

TWINS BORN TO THE EARTH MOTHER AND GOD-KING!!! THEIR NAMES, H₂ÉWSŌS AND DYĒUS-SUHNÚS!!!

Sept 19th, 2073

The Garden awoke today to welcome the arrival of two very important members of its family. Yesterday, the Earth Mother gave birth to not just one child, but two! The girl, named H₂éwsōs, is to be the direct heir of her mother and father, while the boy, Dyēus-suHnús, is to be the protector of the Garden. This news has been broadcast throughout the Garden, leading to massive celebrations. Alongside this, the Prophet Amir has formalized three days of celebration for their births, alongside an annual public holiday celebrating their birthday. Many have gone so far as to call H₂éwsōs the Messiah, though we will only know for certain when the Earth Mother speaks! Nonetheless, today is a glorious day, and one all should celebrate!!!

There are plenty of factions in Arknights, but what are the community's favorites? In my case, I won't include RI in my top 5 of factions because, well, that's an obvious choice. So here's my own 5 favorite factions:
1 Dublinn. Oh, the Irish, I remember 4 years ago when we still double 5* banners and I pulled for Reed and Broca and fell in love with the depressed dragon girl, reading about the history of the Dracos, Victoria and her unusual Arts, hearing about this terrifying specter force, someone who looks like Reed and her still claiming to "be" Dublinn while working for RI all of that and her event culminated into her being to this day my favorite operator. Also, the fact they are victims of "the majority" and at the same time look down on the Infected brings an aspect of ironic hypocrisy that I quite enjoy, tho Eblana doesn't really seem to care about that, probably cause Reed is Infected. Also, I wish they had a white and red color scheme like og Reed's jacket and armband.

2 Reunion. The OG Antagonists, they gave us legends like Eno/Mephisto, Sasha/Faust, Alex/Skullshatterer, Misha, Yelena/FrostNova, Buldrokkas'tee/Patriot (RIP y'all), Lyudmila/Crownslayer, Ethan, Mudrock, Talulah, Big Bob and Nine. The original Reunion is quite a tragic tale of how righteous hatred can be weaponized by the actual people that such hatred should have targeted in first place and how people in power take advantage of the most downtrodden people and use them for their own goals. So, after the Reunion Saga ended and the original Reunion failed the rise of the Neo Reunion now with no strings attached and not one single person at the top of it leading it, makes them more than a former antagonistic force but a more "equal" paralleling faction to Rhodes Island.

3 The Iberian Inquisition. A much smaller faction compared to both Reunion and Dublinn both in numbers and in relevance however one I very much enjoyed reading. Let's start by the fact that the Inquisition is somewhat responsible for the current situation of Iberia and the rise of the Church of the Deep, the Inquisition is a very "the ends justify the means" kind of organization we need only look at what happened in Gran Faro years before the Stultifera Navis event to understand this, the Inquisition went there arrested, "interrogated" 130 of the town's Aegir populace even when half of them were not involved with the Church of the Deep. These kind of action made the remaining population of Iberia fear and distrust the Inquisition (rightfully so) but then for those by shores desperate to survive a wolf in sheep's clothing promises and belives to deliver salvation, the peasants who have no one to rely on fearing the sight of the Inquisition's lanterns turn to the cultists of the Church of the Deep for a way, a way to be safe, a way not ot starve, a way not to be alone and so the Church of the Deeps numbers grow. I was planning to make some comments about the Inquisitors we know but this is long already if anyone asks my thoughts on them in the comments I may respond.

4 Blacksteel PMC. Ah, our lovely, non Sarkaz, mercenaries, what is there not to love? Liskarm our underdog how she seems straight laced but if you listened to her voice lines you'd know how dorky she is normally. Franka Liskarm's partner(probably in more ways than one) her teasing and easy going personality in spite of being somewhat of a clean freak, how she is pretty savage with words and is pretty competent also she has a super cool sword. Jessica our crykitty just read or listen to Jacob Moreau reading Come Catastrophes or Wakes of Vultures any comment I make on her character would be a disservice, it's peak. Vanilla... Originium Slugs... sorry I don't know much about you. Same for Almond ToT. "Clip" Cliff and his ideology is really interesting and how he got where he is, his dynamic with Woodrow is just... see my comment on the Jessica section? Yeah it applies here too.

5 Last and somewhat least the Crimson Troupe. They are super interesting while being super simple. They are evil. They want to do evil things and the greater the scale the better. They are lead by a (theorized) deranged Feranmut with no other goal in mind other than to cause The Biggest, Most Awful, Most Tragic Event in Human History. All their members are deranged, violent, psychos who take in children to groom into assassins. They can be revived by their Leader even if they die(unless that was a hallucination), they can brainwash people and create sleeper agents. And they are one of the most literally and figuratively obscure factions in the game I wonder when the spotlight will fall on them again.
This was my top 5 and Ted Talks. I hope to see your favorite factions along with other comments down below.

Visiting for a few days and I wanted to specifically get a cute string bracelet that's adjustable as I've been collecting them every place I've visited so far. I know not all places have them but if anyone knows of something similar to the description it would be highly appreciated

I (16) have a twitter account where I post art and stuff, and I am friends with multiple users, two of them being important to the story. Let's call them Jack (17) and Mel (Unkown, but is a minor). Me and Jack met through twitter, and we've been together for 3 years. I'm glad that I have the internet to find someone I love, but that wasn't the same for Mel. Mel was in an online relationship with someone who was dating another person behind their back, and was constantly jealous and controlling. When they broke up, Mel became very distrustful of online relationships, although it was hidden until now. Under a post about a polyamorous ship from the series Guilty Gear, they got into an argument with OP's partner about how it's 'fetishy' and how it makes them uncomfy. But then, during this string of events, Mel talked about how they wished for the downfall of that online person's relationship. Seeing this made me feel disappointed in Mel, considering they know both me and Jack are together in an online relationship, and the rest of the circle of friends we're in thinks so too. They're a very reactive person, and they're always passionate when it comes to things they do and don't like, but I think they went a little too far this time.

Hi, I have a query which gets a simple table of RegionID and the region's API Code. All of the below is a simplified example.

RegionID (string)	ApiCode (string)
98215	skdh821
37891	di82jdeq

Then I have a power query function called GetRegionInfo which makes a call to a 3rd party service we are using. (It's a query I added parameters too and made a function in PQ. It has 37 columns and anything from 150-1200 rows for each call) This call returns information per region given several parameters, among them the RegionID and the unique code for accessing that region by use of the API.
Now I want to create another query that uses the resulting table of the above query in order to call the function once per row.
Something like this:

regionID = "", ApiCode = "", tableVariable = null, For (int i = 0, i < regionIDQuery.rowCount, i++) { regionID = regionIDQuery[i, 0] ApiCode = regionIDQuery[i, 1] // Code below for completeness, but the 3 lines above is the current predicatment. if (i == 0) tableVariable = GetRegionInfo(regionID , ApiCode , OtherParam1) else tableVariable = Table.Combine(tableVariable, GetRegionInfo(regionID , ApiCode , OtherParam1, OtherParam2)) } 

The result I wish for is to get the results of several calls to the function GetRegionInfo stored in a single table that I then cleanup further in PQ before I utilize it in Excel.
Addendum: I have no control over the 3rd party system and have to utilize the API's they've given us, as such I can't simply send one request with a list of regions I want the data for.

Ok so no one responded to my Africa post lol but this is the only place that I have to talk about Survivor. My college is on strike so I've finished Marquesas much earlier than I though. Some people from Australia were interesting (found out a lot of them suck in real life), Africa was really good and Borneo felt the most real, almost in a found footage kind of way, but Marquesas was the one I had the most fun watching. Such a great season and in a beautiful place, geography has always been an interest of mine and I love to know more about the Pacific Islands in particular, it has such an unique scenary and culture
This cast was the most reality tv-ish, it was almost like Total Drama they seemed like caricatures of the people from other seasons, John was cartoonish villainous, Gabe talked like a 60s hippie, Neleh and Paschal were like Rodger and Elisabeth but Neleh is fun, Hunter wishing nothing but the worst to everyone, Peter and Zoe are the two strangest people to be on this show, Sean and Rob with personalities made for tv, also Rob has such a strong accent sometimes I couldn't understand what he was saying and Gina being constantly frustrated with everything. This isn't a complain, everyone on this season was memorable (except Patricia who I forgot was there), but it makes me a little apprehensive for the future seasons. On Big Brother Brazil after people saw how much having a good image could bring to them opportunities and money the new participants would start emulating popular players from other years and exagerate so much to the point that they didn't even act like a person anymore (what's worst is that people buy that they are like that in real life), and I hope that this will not happen to Survivor, it is a one two step for a show to prefer casting people who learned what appeals to the general public and put on a fake personality rather than authentic people, I think it will not because they don't depend on what the audience thinks to get further in the game. I really liked that they had a way different point of view of the morality of the game, it really surprised me, though for sure that they would maintain this mentality for a few more seasons. It had 4 key moments of "selfishly thinking" and winning 1 million dollars is more important than being loyal to this person I met 3 weeks ago: Rob and Sean voting out Hunter despite him being the "leader", Rotu voting out Gabe, even though he wasn't there to play the game, Neleh and Paschal not being content with 5th or 6th and going against their alliance and Vecepia making the deal with Neleh seconds after Kathy lost. I wanted so much for Kim Johnson last season or Amber on Australia to do something like that, go against the people you pledged loyalty when you know if you stick to them you will lose, and it frustrated me they didn't and this one had 4. The tribes too had a way more fun dynamic, I learned that I really don't care if a person is lazy or works hard on camp, as long as they are entertaining, last season I sympathized a lot more with the older Samburu members and now on Maraamu Sean, Rob, Peter, Sarah and Vecepia were way more fun. It still baffles me that they managed to lose every challenge, despite living on the beach with more food, having fire since the beggining and the tribe being physically stronger.
I think Vecepia is the best winner so far, she was so sneaky that she managed to be apart of three different tribes where she could survive at least a couple of eliminations, on Maraamu she wouldn't be eliminated before Gina, on Rotu before Rob and Sean and on Soliantu before Sean, Rob and Kathy, and after Neleh and Paschal betrayed Rotu she again was in no real danger until the top 4, Ethan had a similar path, I think he didn't even receive a vote to be eliminated, but it was easier for him, since he was in the majority the whole game, after the swap V was always out numbered and still found a way, also the betrayal on Kathy was so cold blooded I didn't even think she could pull something like that, it was the best decision, Kathy for sure would win, but doing it immediatly after Kathy lost she hadn't even sit yet, the best moment. One think that I though it was odd is the way they edited her, Richard was the only "main character" who won, but still Tina and Ethan appeared a lot and was always shown what they were thinking, nothing Vecepia was doing was shown, rather it was told by Sean or Rob in a confessional, I think she only started showing up after John was eliminated. This connects to another thing that it was so weird to me that everyone who was on screen a lot got eliminated early: Hunter, Sarah, Gina, Rob, John. After John is gone only Kathy and Sean had a lot of screen time and I though for sure it would happen just like Australia after Jerri is gone it becomes boring, but after they made like a "story for the episode" with Zoey trying so hard to pretend that she was never part of the alliance in the weirdest way with her friendship bracelets and telling Tammy she doesn't like her eyes, Neleh offering chewed gum to 6 starving adults and Kathy's decision of either siding with Neleh and Paschal or V and Sean, also I didn't understand the whole argument of Sean and Vecepia having an alliance, I got that they didn't but it was not like they would vote for each other, they just didn't say that but if it was up for Sean to vote against V or Kathy he would eliminate Kathy and V would do the same.
I only have two complans of this amazing season. The challenges still are boring, were they out of budget this time? On the other seasons the challenges were boring too but they always had some kind of structure for them, this one had flying kite, walking on stilts and making popcorn as challenges, which made me like a little for the absurdity, the slingshot, balance on the sea and coconut ones were fun. The other one is the new tiebreaker was so unfair to Paschal, not that I wanted him to win but it is unfair for him to be eliminated on a tribal counsil he didn't even receive a vote

The Four Statements of Zen are:

• 不立文字 - Not relying on words and letters.
• 教外別傳 - A special transmission outside the scriptures.
• 直指人心 - Directly pointing to a person's mind.
• 見性成佛 - Seeing one's nature and becoming Buddha

Now this likely brings a few pertinent questions to... well, mind. (How fitting)
In Zen texts there are a lot of repeating "Mind is Buddha", and similar mind-pointing phrases. However, what is Mind?
I wish to use this post to discuss "Mind" (which will have to be the first in a series of 2, or 3 given the length required to simply dip one's toe in). I am going to use Chan master Guifeng Zongmi as a thread in this small series, so I thought it'd be beneficial to first provide this early paragraph from his work, the Source of Chan. It should help us understand what Chan is to Zongmi:

"[T]his true nature is not only the source of Chan but also the source of all laws (dharmas), hence it is called Dharma-nature. It is also the source of delusion and enlightenment in sentient beings, hence it is called the Tathagata-garbha (storehouse consciousness) . It is also the source of all virtues of Buddhas, hence it is called Buddha-nature . It is also the source of all practices of Bodhisattvas, hence it is called the mind ground . All practices fall within the six paramitas, with the Chan gate being just one of them, specifically the fifth. How can true nature be exclusively identified as a single practice of Chan?
Yet, the practice of Chan meditation is most wondrous, able to arouse the flawless wisdom inherent in one’s nature. All marvelous functions, virtues, and practices, including supernatural powers and illumination, arise from concentration. Therefore, practitioners of the Three Vehicles who seek the holy path must practice Chan; there is no other way. Even those who recite the Buddha’s name to be reborn in the Pure Land must practice the sixteen contemplations of Chan, the mindfulness of the Buddha Samadhi, and the Pratyutpanna Samadhi. Moreover, true nature is neither defiled nor pure, without distinction between ordinary and holy beings. Chan, however, varies in depth and stages.
Practicing with erroneous views and suppressing lower states to achieve higher ones is externalist Chan. Practicing with proper faith in cause and effect, with a desire for liberation, is ordinary Chan. Practicing with the realization of the emptiness of self and biased truth is Hinayana Chan. Practicing with the realization of the emptiness of both self and phenomena, revealing the true principle, is Mahayana Chan."

So Chan has its depths and stages, but we are told that proper practice with a faith in cause and effect is ordinary Chan. This surely follows what you may have read in recent posts on the "Wu" koan, and how Wansong offered a comment upon it saying, "...It's not just about whether the dog has Buddha-nature or not. It's about deliberately violating the knowledge of karma and its nature, being greatly aware of the past and cautious of the future, being careful at the beginning and guarding the end."
On top of "Mind", we also hear of a "No-Mind". So is practicing this No-Mind the same no-thing being spoken of when it's suggested one practices Wumen's No? (Zen masters do instruct to carry it all day and night).
How would one even practice Wumen's "Wu" or "No", anyways? Well, above Zongmi laid out that "practicing with the realization of the emptiness of both self and phenomena is Mahayana Chan." This seems to follow the sentiment of Master Miaoxi who said of the Wu koan, "It's not the 'no' of existence, nor is it the 'no' of true emptiness."
Let's return to Mind. There are two main principles, the immutable and the mutable. Hit it, Zongmi!

Just as true gold, when crafted by different artisans into rings, bracelets, bowls, or cups, does not change its nature to copper or iron, gold represents the principle, and its immutable nature under various conditions represents the teaching. If someone asks which substance does not change and which adapts to conditions, the correct answer is gold. This analogy helps to understand the principles and teachings of the entire collection of scriptures: it is all about the mind.

I would raise here a side dialogue about Gold, and Adornment, and the metaphors in Zen writings about this - but I need to wrap this post up. (Guifeng's work also points out that there are 8 types of minds, so our probing would need to go far too deep for what this post should cover).

The mind is the dharma, and all else is its significance. Hence, the scriptures say, "The immeasurable significances arise from a single dharma." However, these countless significances can be broadly categorized into two types: unchanging and conditioned. The scriptures only talk about how this mind, according to ignorance or enlightenment, conditions impurities, purity, mundane and sacred, afflictions, and enlightenment, with and without defilements. They also talk about how this mind, whether impure or pure, inherently remains unchanging and naturally extinguished, truly as it is. If someone asks, "What remains unchanging? What follows conditions?" The answer should simply be "the mind."

We know there is Buddha Mind and Buddha Demon. Linji said, "A moment of doubt in your mind is the Buddha demon. If you can realize that myriad phenomena have no origin, and mind is like an illusory projection, there is not a single atom or a single phenomenon anymore; everywhere is pure. Then there is no Buddha demon."
No origin? Well, Mind, like Gold, or Fire, transforms under conditions. Sometimes Buddha, sometimes Demon.
Let's end with an illustration from the Recorded Sayings of Chan Master Zhanran:

Zaobai said, 'With one thought of anger, millions of gates of obstacles open. Those who cultivate the bodhisattva path must be cautious not to arouse anger. If there's even a trace of anger, there will be a corresponding increase in the power of anger and demons. After death, there will be blessings that transform into the great powerful demon king, and one will fall into the three paths again. It's said that with the arousal of anger, one's cultivation may further empower demons.'
The teacher said, 'Indeed, there is. In the Avatamsaka Sutra, Bodhisattvas of the Ten Dwellings, Ten Practices, Ten Directions, and Ten Stages each possess the power and protection of a Tathagata. This is the meaning of their respective stages.'
'If this is so, then what is the difference between Buddha and demon fruits, and how can they provide such power to people?'
The teacher replied, 'They are not external things but the power of one's mind. It's just like how people use fire to burn houses, cook food, or refine elixirs. Each use of fire naturally has its accompanying wind power to assist, completing the task. Burning houses is evil, cooking food is righteous, refining elixirs is the Dao. Wind and fire do not discriminate, yet they can succeed or fail according to the task. Similarly, Buddha and demons do not discriminate, yet they follow the mind's judgment of right and wrong. By using the wind to ignite fire, actions are completed by the mind, which are not separate. Thus, if one doesn't guard the true nature of Reality, letting it mature naturally, people do not understand their own minds, often swayed by circumstances. Demons take advantage of this, leading them into evil paths, all due to not realizing one's inherent Buddha nature, lacking self-control, and being controlled by external influences. How can demons and Buddhas say the same? In this way, what you said about blessings being indispensable, whether it's believable or not, is something to be pondered upon.

Meet the Raiders of the Snark! Are you 18+? Looking for a community that's just chill and wants to enjoy the game with no strings attached? The Raiders of the Snark are your best bet!
We welcome all players, new and old. Our members range from veterans to people who just started playing yesterday.
We are getting ourselves ready for Dawntrail and building a Static to clear high-end content after the release of the new expansion.
What We Offer - A very friendly Discord server where everyone just gets along! - Weekly events where we play content together - Help and guidance for sprouts - Roulettes, just because roulettes
Our Base of Operations We have a Free Company house on Plot 21, Ward 4, Empyreum. Feel free to visit and have a look around, you may even find one of us there if you wish to say hello!
Contact Us! If you're interested in joining, leave a comment here or send a message to one of the following people on Discord: - wisekitsune195 - chrismagikarpfail
You are also welcome to send us a tell if we happen to be online! - Aelia Nixvenator - Shozai Lomzai - Morgan Arda
https://eu.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/community_findeff923a5292a519a0fd1441317e3d727e6c199c2f/

Book One: Edge of Madness - Chapter One Previous Next
I could pretend to be a whore. That's what Masutap thought as she stood before the gate leading to the fortress of the Highlord of the Eastlocal. Pretense was a thing she indulged in back when she'd been an ordinary woman, with ordinary ambitions. But as of now, things had changed. Things had changed drastically, for she was now a champion of the Goddess of Order. A champion who would do anything in her power to mock the very being that fed her power.
Power, yes. It was what she felt. Every time her eyes turned upon the world, she saw Order. Like bees in a hive, working towards a similar objective. Survival. Yes, they all wanted to survive. And that's where the power lay, in her ability to deny a thing's chance at survival, for when her eyes flashed red, things died.
"Pardon me sir." A man dragging a cart of coal said. She was standing in his way, she knew this of course, she'd known it since the time he'd decided to deliver the coal. She saw the strings of prophesy in the smallest of things, and oh what power lied in discernment, to see the past and the future in absolute clarity, the secret lay in following strands of Order. The Highlord of the Eastlocal always received a cart of coal at around this time every fifth day. He would serve as her witness. Coal. She smiled, remembering how Orgeeg had managed to penetrate into the Palace of Binoria, on a stack of coal. She recalled how Orgeeg thwarted her plans, then she remembered how small her plans had been.
"Pardon me... Uh lady?" She removed her cowl as the Coal merchant spoke. Her hair was longer now, she'd let it grow, it dangled askew of her ears. Dark and rich as her mother's once was. Masutap smiled at the man whose face was caked in coal dust.
"Today Shama dies! Tonight the Highlord of the EastLocal is no more!" Masutap said.
Twin daggers she had strapped to her waist were suddenly in her hands. The coal merchant stumbled back several steps, dragging the cart with him. The sun was dipping into the horizon, becoming a smeared red smudge upon the canvas of her perception. Her eyes flashed red, and the smeared smudge's light brightened, blanketing everything, making her see.
She spun and threw the dagger in her left hand. The knife whirled in the air and met the throat of a guard who was just cresting the upper walkway of the gate, he wore red leather that marked him as one of the royal guards of the Highlord. A shout sounded. The guards at the gate turned their attention to her. They were six of them, each of them dazed with the slow reception of understanding. The bubble they lived in, understanding it enabled her to see how blind humanity is. Like sheep, no wonder the Vigons ruled them so easily.
She was in their midst before they drew their swords from their scabbards. She drove the dagger into the throat of the first one, danced in a pirouette, thrust free the dagger and hurled it into the throat of another guard. Her hands were free, she curled her fingers into fists.
The Goddess Meena, Goddess of Order, spoke to her. **What is the purpose of this?*
"Oh, you'll see." Masutap said and drove a fist into the chest of one guard, her hand caved through the chest cavity, snapping the spine in half and emerging free of the Guards back. She paused for effect, the three remaining guards gawked at her. She pried her arm free of the corpse and met their panicked gazes. "Sound the alarm, you're too few to make me sweat. I need all of you. Gods! Come on you fucking cowards!"
Two of the three guards charged her, one took a swing at her head with a flat blade, the sharp edge missed her by a hair's breadth as she ducked. She brought up her knee and connected with the man's groin, raising him off the ground, legs held apart, face contorted in pain. He collapsed on the ground with a squeal akin to that of a dying rabbit. The other guard put on a stance of Grind, legs parted, right foot before the left. Knees bent. He brandished his sword before him, and the guard behind him ran off to sound the alarm. Masutap smiled.
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He slept on a bed filled with whores. Talisi women with their dark skin and white hair, Remu women with their sandy peppered hair and copper skin, Binorian women with their blonde hair and pale milky skin. He was their God and they flocked to him in worship. He owned all of them, from the frailest to the most able bodied. From the smartest to the daftest. They were all his.
The Highlord of the Eastlocal observed the head of the Talisi woman resting on his thigh, her breathing was deep, her dark naked breasts rising and falling with every inhale and exhale. Five other women slept around him, each as beautiful as the last.
Of all the men in the realm, I alone am the honored one. Shama thought. He caressed his bulging belly with his pudgy fingers the size of sausages. His appearance did pass as grotesque. Bloated, balding with a cleanly shaven head, wide of girth and bow legged. Yet, no man has conquered the bodies of women as he had done. Women who lusted after tall handsome men. Women who sought capable men with astounding intelligence. They all gave in to him, none could deny him and when they did, well, there were ways to make them yield.
An orgy at noon. That was the gist of it, and another orgy before the midnight bell. Life was good, life was beautiful. Shama had thought that after the death of King Vayin Vigon in the hands of the infamous Kolotian, Ishar, that his wealth will dwindle, that his status will come down a step. That the might of Binoria will be a fickle thing after their first loss at war. But of course, this wasn't to be. The Queen, Dahli Vigon, had received the blessing of Meena, passed down from her father. As long as one with the Jojoh Meena, the blessing of Meena, still ruled, then things will stay as they've always been. Dahli had taken over, ensuring that Binoria didn't fall into anarchy, ensuring the Vigon name remained revered. The beautiful blonde haired girl was now the most potent soul upon the realm. How he longed to have her in his bed, parting those pale thighs sinuated with muscle. She'd become quite the fair lady. And her presence oozed power.
Shama wanted her but a thought kept his desires at bay. She'd frowned at him at the recent Highlords meeting with the throne. Apparently, his tastes and businesses didn't bode well with her. The selling of flesh, that is what he partook in with the zeal of a drowning man reaching for a floating oar. Importing women from all over the realm, some came willingly, others reluctantly. But in the end they all came. Their dignity thrown away for the promise of gold vigons. They filled the whore houses and men flocked to them in throngs, lining his pocket with gold vigons
It was his inventiveness that brought him to the top, the Highlord of the Eastlocal was once a position few envied. But his eye, trained in the art of commerce, enabled him to transform the east of Binoria. Creating a network that not only benefited him, but also the crown. And in so doing, despite her frowns and her reluctance to treat with him, she still couldn't voice her displeasure. Dahli needed him, she needed him for the coin necessary to maintain her position upon the crown. To line the pockets of her Legions. She needed him, and one day he will have her. No woman can deny him, and if they did, there were ways to make them give in.
Suddenly, the twin oak doors leading to his bed chambers flew open. The Captain of the Red Guard, in charge of his safety, Shang, walked in. "Highlord." He said with a bow, the women around him stirred. Outside, a bell started ringing, slowly at first then with extreme vigor. Something is wrong. Shang's obvious panic was clear to see. The opened door allowed him to see several Red guards crowded at the door.
"What is the meaning of this?" Shama asked, his beady eyes on Shang. An inhuman scream sounded somewhere within the fortress. Shama's blood chilled in his veins.
"There's an intruder." Shang said while ravaging through the clothes on the floor. He lifted a red jerkin, two sizes too large, the right size for the Highlord. He threw it at Shama and the Highlord hastened to put it on. He ignored the bewildered looks of the naked whores.
"Intruders or intruder?" Shama asked as Shang led him out of his bed chambers. Another scream sounded, closer. The guards at the door, seven of them, crested around him as Shang led the way.
"A woman, she's alone." Shang said.
Shama gripped Shang's arm, halting him. "What do you mean by this? A singular woman causing... causing... this?"
"She's..." Shang hesitated.
"Speak! You fool!"
"She seems to be inhumanly strong and fast. I only saw her fight through a blockade of my brothers, without a sword. She tore my brothers— the Red Guards, to pieces." Shang's eyes became glazed, as if his mind was replaying the mayhem he'd bore witness to. Shama let go of his arm. The trembling was taking him again, starting at the soles of his feet, up his spine around his neck to his hands. It had been so long since he felt this, the animalistic fear confounded on the existence of an unknown, an unknown that sought to see him dead.
"Captain, what is your course of action?" Shama asked.
Shang seemed to shake himself free of his trance. "We're going to take you to the stables, get you on the fastest steed and—" A scream echoed through the halls of the fortress of the Highlord of the Eastlocal. Checking everyone in place.
"What of provisions?"
"There's no time." Shang said. He drew a flat blade from the scabbard at his side. The Guards all around mimicked him, the rustling of steel could be heard, and there, at the Western end of the fortress, screams sounded.
Shang started a brisk walk towards the East end of the Fortress. His boots, soles lined with metal, clancked upon the ground. Shama shuffled close behind Shang, panting like a mare in heat. The Red Guards around him stole glances to their rear, sweat woven with fear formed a sleek mask upon their startled faces. And in those eyes Shama was able to weigh how dire matters were.
A shout sounded from ahead, bringing Shang to an abrupt stop. "How—" His words caught in his throat as a woman caked in blood and gore emerged from the bend linking the hallway they were in to another hallway that led to the stables.
She stood before them and spread out her bloody fingers at Shama. "Highlord, nice to meet you." She waved. "Say, I hear you can show a woman a good time and I'm in quite the mood for a good time tonight."
Shama trembled, the woman seemed vaguely familiar. The angles of her cheekbones , that nose, those eyes. She resembled Dahli.
"Moran and Jesul to me!" Shang commanded. Two of the guards behind Shama moved forward to flank Shang on either side. "Employ any forms, ensure I get close to her so I may employ the form of Awe."
Awe— the grappling technique that ensured the limbs were pinned. Shama saw Shang's ploy. He needed to contain the woman so Shama could move past them and head for the stables. Shama cursed himself for the design of his fortress that allowed for only one route to the stables.
Shang, Moran and Jesul raised their broad swords. One raising it above the head in a form of Rage, the other bringing the blade level with his face in the form of Pride. Shang lowered his blade and the guards flanking him charged, he followed close behind. The woman let out a cry that could only be translated as one of glee. She charged them.
Moran brought his sword down on the woman but she slid on her knees, allowing momentum to push her beyond the reach of his blade. Jesul thrust at her, raising his right leg and angling the sword downwards at her face. But the woman dodged, spun upon the ground on the small of her back and kicked Jesul's leg from under him. Jesul fell and as he raised his head he met with the woman's fist, there was a loud crunch as his face caved in. His hand let go of the sword as his body became limp.
Shang saw the opening and dived at the woman before she could stand. The woman spread her arms wide, welcoming. Shang pounced but instead landed on the woman's upraised knees, she grabbed his leather armor by the collar and flung him behind her and onto Moran. Both of them collapsed on the ground.
She stood up and smiled at Shama.
"Who are you?" Shama asked.
"I'm Masutap, the sister of Queen Dahli." The woman answered.
"Men! Turtle formation! Swords out, save the Highlord! Move you fools!" Shang said as he picked himself up from the ground behind Masutap.
The men around Shama compacted closer. Their swords pointing at Masutap who regarded them with a smirk upon her face. They inched forward, hesitantly at first, then with confidence as they saw their Captain pick up his sword. They all came to a stand still when the eyes of the woman glowed a fierce red, as if she held the Jojoh Meena. And Shama, the Highlord of the Eastlocal, trembled before her gaze.
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Intuition, the immediate cognition without the use of conscious rational processes. It was simple for her, she dodged the sword thrusts and swipes easily. She turned either way, always beyond reach of the blades, always within striking distance. Her strength was a thing of beauty, somehow her frail wrists held the power necessary to crush a throat and crush a throat she did. She didn't tire, she didn't require forms of combat. The power of the Goddess of Order coursed through her veins and with it came rejuvenation.
The Red Guards pounced on her, seeking to put in place the form of Awe. But their efforts were in vain, she side stepped them easily, always on her feet. She saw an opening and like a river emptying into the Rankf sea she took it, delivering a punch to the side of a Guard's chest, feeling as ribs broke and punctured the lung.
**What is the purpose of this?* The Goddess Meena spoke within her mind. An ever present being whose words sought to throw her off, to calm the tempest raging within her. Masutap didn't want calm, she wanted fire and brimstone, she wanted Binoria to burn so their precious Queen will rule nothing but ash. She decreed this with a war cry, plunging into the midst of the Red Guards. She kicked two, flinging them across the hallway. One thrust with his blade but she caught it between her arm and side, she twisted the blade free of his grasp, gripped the hilt and decapitated the man in one swift motion.
She parried a strike to her left, danced free of two thrust then brought the blade down onto a Guard's head. She felt as the blade bit bone and she wasted no time in pulling it free. **What is the purpose of this?* Meena asked once more.
Masutap took three steps back to widen her periphery. "An inferno." She said as she flexed her sword hand. Suddenly, the Guard who was definitely their Captain, reached into the mass of clustered Guards pressed to the wall, away from her. And pulled the Highlord free of the men surrounding him.
"Form a blockade!" He screamed as he tagged and pulled at the distraught Highlord, leading him towards the end of the hallway. The remaining Guards blocked her vision of them. Like a fool she'd been too enthralled by the battle, allowing the Highlord to slowly slip past her, cocooned in the safety of the Guards in their turtle formation. He was making clear his escape and somehow, this aroused her, blowing upon an ember lodged deep within her until it sparked.
**What is the purpose of this?* Like a parrot, the Goddess repeated her question.
"An inferno." Masutap answered and lunged.
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He was sweating profusely, his breath caught in his throat, causing him to choke on air. He followed Shang, feeling the Captain of the Red Guard's displeasure at his inability to keep up. They descended a flight of stairs, taking three at a time. He almost collapsed but the Captain steadied him.
"Not far now my Lord. Just at that bend before us." Shang said. They took the bend and ran clear of the fortress. The horses were just ahead, they rushed to them. Shama took delight in the open air. The stables were void of people, Shama wondered where the stable hands were. They entered the stable and Shang dragged him to the first cubicle on the right where a saddled horse stood.
Shama hastily climbed onto the saddle with the aid of the Captain. Shang placed his Highlord's feet in the stirrups and moved to flank the horse. "Lord." He said, fighting for solid ground that will enable his words to come forth easily. "It has been an honor to serve under you." Shama smiled but his smile proved too little a gesture to carry the weight or their current predicament. "Ride hard for the Capital, ensure the Queen knows of all that's gone down here. I will stay back and hold her for as long as I can." Shang concluded with a crisp salute. The Highlord nodded and with the guidance of his captain upon the horse's reins, they exited the stable "She is a good steed, see the mark of her coat? She can take you far." Shang said once free of the stables. A scream sounded from within the fortress, horrid in its guttural screech. "Go now my Lor—" Shang's words died in his mouth as an explosion erupted at the first floor of the fortress, stone parted, breaking as easily as a clay vase, the window panels and the glass set in place erupted outwards with the stone. Three figures tumbled free of the eruption, tangled in the air, twisting with the fall. They landed, the woman on her feet, knees bent and a fist pressed to the ground, the other two guards lay insensate upon the ground, their bodies a mangled mess. Shang slapped the horse's hide and Shama took of in a gallop.
The Highlord turned back, watched as the woman rose free of the debri and charged Shang. The captain employed a form of Grind but the Highlord's view was hindered by a sharp turn around the cobblestones towards the gate of his fortress. The blood and bodies upon the ground unsettled the horse, forcing its pace to be more hurried and Shama was all the more grateful for it.
She has the Jojoh Meena! Shama thought with awe as the horse broke free of the fortress in a quick gallop that had him bouncing upon the saddle. His thighs felt the brunt force of his escape but he could do nothing but hold on for dear life. This is what I'm reduced to, at the end of the line dependency thrives, in old age your children are those you depend on. I never thought I'd come to rely on anyone throughout my life. Yet here I am, depending on a horse to save my skin. He turned his head back and heaved a sigh of relief. The fortress was dwindling within his periphery, he had made quick his escape. Shama will live to see another day. And when the sun rises and sets, I will bring judgment upon the woman whose very existence rivals my own. Masutap. I will hunt her, she will know no safety within the realm, she will never know peace or a good night's slee— Something unnerved him. There, at the entrance to the fortress, a figure appeared. Following the path charted by his horse. She hopes to outrun my horse? He tilted his head back and laughed. There is faith and delusion and she seems to be enamored by both. To think her capable of outrunning a horse. What a fool what a— His thoughts halted when he turned back, his mouth dropped, his jaw hanging loose. Masutap was catching up, he did not know how but she was gaining on him. She'd been a speck in the distance, barely visible against the backdrop of the fortress. But now her features were getting more defined and her limbs, they were a blur as she pushed forward with inhuman speed.
Panic drove Shama into action, he kicked his heels at the horse's flanks. Willing it to go faster. "Run you fool! Run!" He was frothing at the mouth as the horse went downhill, cutting his view of the one in pursuit. He gripped harder at the reins and screamed, slapping the horse's neck. He looked back to see Masutap emerge upon the hill and start a quick descent after him. He thought about guiding the horse into the wilderness and thought against it seeing that a gallop won't be possible with trees in the way. His only hope was in outpacing her for surely, even one with the Jojoh Meena must tire. He hoped Masutap would relent, he hoped her bloodlust would have proved sated by the guards who'd met their end by her. He hoped that he would live to see the sun climb into the sky one more time. Darkness was setting in and suddenly thoughts of the sun and it's warmth sprouted a yearning within him that made him weep. He turned his head back, she was a hundred paces away. The horse was tiring, it's gallop lazed in vigor. This is the end then, all those afternoons spent indoors hosting orgies. I should have spent them beneath the sun, I should have spent them in the sun He looked back once more, his horse barely keeping pace. The horse threw a shoe and Shama was flung off it. He tumbled onto the ground, his weight rested upon his twisted knee, the sharp pop of the joint led him into an anguished wail. The horse screamed, its fore limbs oddly twisted. The horse thrashed upon the ground and Shama rolled away. He felt weak, he felt defeated and most of all, he felt hopeless.
He lay there, watching the sky, the moon was up, barely half of it adorned the night. He wished it had been full, all those nights when he'd regarded the sky as one would a thing of no consequence. Now he found himself wishing he'd appreciated it more. In the end regrets rule the mind, for in its dying wails no sound of gratitude can be heard.
She came and stood above him, her face blocking the view of the sky. She breathed loudly and for a moment the only sounds around them were from the injured horse and her.
"Dahli will come for you." He opined despite the throbbing pain within his twisted leg.
"Shama, darling," Masutap said as she lowered herself to lie beside him. She chuckled. "Darling, that word. The Goddess Meena loves that word. She uses it a lot. I find it distasteful yet here I am. Calling you darling."
"I have not time for pleasantries." Shama interjected. "Cut my throat and be done with it."
Masutap sighed. "That's not a creative way to kill someone you know. No, how many women have suffered pain beneath you? I have to give answer to that and that means a show. I will drag you to your fortress, there I will strip you naked and castrate you. I will feed you your cock as the women whom you took advantage of watch. Then we'll douse you in Rankf Oil and set you alight."
Shama started weeping. And a new voice joined the fray, he wept, she heaved and the horse screamed.
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