After many years of scrimping and saving, I've managed to obtain my very own bottomless money pit apartment on the outskirts of Sydney. So, naturally I believe it's a rite of passage for me to attempt putting up a shelf.
I have two main (of a billion) questions. Firstly, I understand that electrical and plumbing work need to be performed by a licensed tradesperson. I watched one episode of Better Homes and Gardens 22 years ago, and it's always stuck in my memory. Also, the best lamb recipe in the cooking segment - but I digress.

1. I want to put up a shelf in the ensuite. I put on big boy pants and went and bought a drill and seemingly one of every single drill-bit that Bunnings sell. I'm looking forward to cracking my first tile, but I am not looking forward to nicking a pipe or cable, or the ultimate scrotum shriveller - nicking both simultaneously. There is already a towel rack on that wall, so there's hope for my grand plan. What I'd like to know is if there is a resource that's easily understood by a common idiot about building codes and stuff so I might have a general idea of where the pipes are? Such as "all pipes must be installed at XX height from blah blah" so I can avoid calling an emergency wrench wielding crack displayer. I got a good quality stud-finder from the green tin roof temple, but somehow it's tells me everything and nothing is a stud at the same time. The instructions said to place my other hand on the wall, but I don't buy into all that astrology and crystals mumbo jumbo.
2. Many of my power points and light switches are looser than a stool after a sweaty evening session down at the local vindaloo dispensary. I have a feeling the previous owner felt themselves a bit handy and may have grabbed a 10 pack of Shenzhen house igniters from the Reject Shop and whacked them in the walls himself. Going by number of dodgy wall outlets and the empty little bag of drugs I found under the sink on settlement day, it's probably likely that's the case. Is there such a thing as, like, an electrical audit? Can a sparky come in and replace the outlets and tell me that the wiring is safe without having to pull all the gyprock off?

Lastly, is there a reputable way to find good area-local tradies apart from wildly googling and looking at every website that can afford good SEO. My distaste of being stung by service people is only second to that of bees and wasps, and it's happened to me before when I fell for a flashy Squarespace template. I'm happy to reasonably pay for deft hands with tools rather than web design.
TL;DR Mildly ambitious smoothbrain bought a drill and wants to know how to not fuck up his property.

• best way to not drill a hole into a pipe
• advice on getting electrical problems fixed
• simple resources for building codes and finding reputable tradies
• lamb

I am 31 female I must prewarn you i failed grammar and spelling I was married at 17 and he was 24 i believe..... it was a nightmare relationship Let's give him a name Satan sounds right Satan lied about a heart condition he was telling me and everyone we knew he didn't have long to live if he didn't get a new heart .But also would mention that he couldn't have surgery or he would die. I would ask him to let me come with him to the next doctor's appointment but that never happened And when my daughter was born he told my parents he had the chance to get a heart .but claimed he didn't want to miss his daughters birth.That's when my parents knew he was lying about having a bad heart. Satan lied about smoking I caught him smoking he promised he would never do it again but someone i knew saw him smoking. He promised again but i knew he still was because of the smell in the car. And he would yell at me if I accused him. He lied about being or virgin or not being one (before me ) he kept changing his story I started having kids with him right away. I had no license. And he was never home When he was home it was to take me to get groceries and then s*x.. after he would leave and hang out with his friends or work. Even on holidays he would leave me alone with the kids to hang out with his friends. He never changed a diaper and was always on his phone . I remember seeing a txt from a girl who wanted to go out .. he said it was super old text and just a "Friend" I wanna say 4 to 5 year into our marriage satan confessed that he didn't love me when we got married. We had bed bugs and cockroaches that he refused to do anything about. I tried but had no money or a car to do anything about them. But I got raid when I could and did my best I was youngggg and had three kids with this man .. I stayed with him for 11 years My mental health took a dive right off a cliff. And I emotionally check out of the relationship before I knew it. Something inside me was breaking.. I felt lonely..I asked for an open relationship. My mistake was taking the slightest hint that he would agree to it and jumping on it right away. I slept with a guy . I do regret that very much. Satan came home and we went back and forth and back and forth talking .He even took a gun out and threatened to kill himself. I stopped eating. I was checked out emotionally. On Christmas Eve which is my birthday .. satan kicked me out We had previously discussed me moving out a month later but he wanted me out right away. The next thing I regret is believing his promise that he would let me see the kids whenever I wanted. I moved in with my brother. Got a job and apprenticeship to because a tattoo artist. My mental health was still shit. Satan was being nice enough and seemed to be letting me see the kids. My cousin was getting married I went to the wedding satan took me .. it was agreed that I take the kids after to hang out. But he told me no and drove me back to my brother's and demanded to have my phone.He Told me it was my mothers idea that he take my phone from me.(lie) There was a struggle and he got it of course cuz I'm a small girl that has barely eaten for weeks .. and he's a big guy . He tells me to get out of the car .. I don't..he gets out and pulls me out of the car and throws me on the ground. I called the police unfortunately no eye witnesses He told me that I would never see or talk to our kids again. He hacked into my email and made sure I couldn't get into any of my social media. It was a nightmare. My brother called and warned him that was he was doing was illegal. At this point I believed my parents were against me because satan made me believe that. He was making sure that I was alone. I didn't see my kids for months I also found out about two weeks after I was gone he had a gf .. he was telling the kids that was their new mommy. Satan's lawyer called me and set up a meeting Sadly I had no lawyer and no way to afford one. I signed the most messed up agreement of all time ..... After I signed it he let me talk to my kids Satan agreed to let me see them but then he started making up rules and taking away my visitation for no reason. So I called my parents for help . They hired me a lawyer . From there is got better little by little and my mental health got better and better also. And I got to see my kids I could write a book One time he almost ran over our son with his car He ask the kids to keep secrets He told them things that kids should never know He lied to them He told them I didn't love them. He told my son I was going to jail and that scared my son so bad. There's sooo many things It was two years of him just using the kids to hurt me. And he has no idea to this day how much he fucked them up forever. He will never admit that he did any wrong or hurt the kids. But I have the kids every other week now And iv been dating an amazing man for over a year now. Satan is also engaged And iv never been closer to my kids It was a journey getting back to each other but here we are.

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/bomblebeeee
Originally posted to relationship_advice + TrueOffMyChest
My (28f) fiance (30m) is ghosting me on our wedding day. How can I calm my anxiety?
Thanks to u/queenlegolas and u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU
Trigger Warnings: abandonment, mentions of mental health issues, emotional abuse and manipulation
My (28f) fiancé (30m) is ghosting me on our wedding day. How can I calm my anxiety?: May 1, 2024
TLDR at the bottom.
(28f) am getting married today to my fiance (30m). It's the legal document signing and our ceremony is on Saturday. I haven't slept in 24 hours I just am feeling so much anxiety.
For reference we were togetheliving together for about 3 years before becoming long distance for one and a half years. I'm back in the country for a week to visit him and family and to have our wedding.
For the last month he has been ghosting me for sometimes even weeks at a time. I know it's because he's going through a mental health crisis, but no matter how much I tell him his actions are causing me pain and straining our communication, he can't change. When he goes through rough times he absolutely shuts down for everyone, especially me. It hurts so much every time knowing that even the person he says is his best friend and future wife, he doesn't trust or respect enough to share or ease his pain.
I thought coming back to the country and the marriage would wake him up from his ghosting tendencies this past month, but it's not. He had a very important meeting at work yesterday that either meant he'd get a raise or be unemployed, and now I don't hear anything from him at all. He's ignoring my calls, he's ignoring my texts (and there are read receipts so I know it's intentionally ignored). It's the morning of, and we are literally set to sign our marriage paperwork in a few hours from now. But I was up all night because I can't shake the anxiety that this isn't what he wants. That hes just doing this to "appease" me despite this being a joint decision.
I still can't even get a hold or reach him. I try so hard to communicate everything with him, but this hurts me deeply, down to my core. Part of me wants to drive over to his apartment and beat his door down and just demand answers as to how he could treat someone he claims he loves this way. But I know he'd just shut down further, say he's sorry, and then bury himself deeper into his guilt and depression.
How can I be supportive through his mental health crisis while also keeping firm on the "this is 500000% some disrespectful and harmful behavior that is absolutely unacceptable" in my opinion. When we were about to be long distance he begged me to try it out because I knew his inability to properly communicate his feelings would be miserable over long distance. But he begged me and promised he would change. I would say he did improve but if this last month has shown me anything it's that I'm about to marry someone who has no qualms and sees no consequence in ghosting your spouse for weeks at a time.
This whole thing gives me so much anxiety I have no idea what to do. Any advice on how to calm my anxiety or maybe try to be more supportive to coax him out of the horrid way his depressive episode is manifesting would be greatly appreciated.
Before I forget, yes of course I've tried to get him to see a therapist or get on medication. For years. There is basically a 0% chance that, if it's coming from me or anyone in my family, he would ever listen to that advice. It's incredibly frustrating and not an option that I can even bring up with him anymore without the conversation devolving and him shutting me out even further.
(I will not be tolerating or responding to any accusations of him cheating or people just saying don't marry him. He is loyal but has a multitude of mental health issues, and I will marry him regardless of what anyone says on the internet. I just want some advice is all.)
TLDR: My fiance keeps ghosting me for weeks at a time and he's doing it again even on the day we are getting married which is causing me insane anxiety.
Edit: I won't be reading anything anymore, and please stop messaging me. If you see a woman who is genuinely struggling with something and clearly has no one else to turn to for advice other than random people on the internet and your response is to ridicule her and call her an idiot.... Then congratulations my last idea of seeking help has failed. Clearly I had no one else to go to, it's my wedding day and I'm on reddit. I don't know why I expected anything less than hate messages and ridicule. Maybe there isn't some magic way to help him through this period of grief, but I didn't think I deserved to be sent all these cruel messages so instantly. To the people messaging me and calling stupid, idiotic, doormat, and that I deserve whatever unhappy life awaits me, you've won.
Relevant Comments
Icy-Original: He’s been ghosting you for the last month and you thought marriage would fix this? You don’t want anyone here to tell you not to marry him when that’s the most logical and smart decision here. You’ve created your own misery and are determined to continue doing so so what do you want from us? We can’t make him unghost you and we can’t make you feel better about this decision you know is dumb as hell. You have a man with mental health problems that refuses to get help, that’s causing severe relationship issues and you’re willingly signing yourself up, aligning yourself legally to have more of these problems till death do you part? When you have kids and he ghost you then what are you going to do? I hope you get what you deserve from this situation. Whatever that entails.

OOP: This marriage has been planned for much longer than just the last month. It wasn't some solution I created by myself. And it isn't no contact for the whole month. Just a week of no contact before he comes back and apologizes for the absence due to unavoidable life events. Then contact for a week before another week of no contact before something else comes up. We spent the whole day together 3 days ago, but because of the meeting yesterday it's now been a day and a half of nothing again. To answer your question of what I'd like, compassion and actual helpful advice was what I was searching for. Not judgement and malice.

 
I was left at the altar yesterday: May 2, 2024
My life was great. My relationship was great. Until yesterday it suddenly wasn't. The last month felt a bit off but I didn't think it would lead to this. I still love him intensely. He still loves me intensely. He wants to stay with me it's just that he says he can't do marriage because he can't untie the trauma he has from the idea of it from his childhood (cult stuff).
My mom says I'll be a pathetic fucking loser if I still stay with him regardless and that he'll never be a part of the family. But I want to stay with him regardless. But I don't know if I can live with the constant fear, anxiety, and insecurites that will come from being with someone who can just leave whenever he feels like it.
My wedding is on Saturday and my family still wants to have it since it's more of a small family gathering already anyways (since his family wasn't invited due to cult stuff). My life as I know it feels completely over. I don't know what to do. The person I turned to for empathy and compassion turned to me screaming that I'm a fucking idiot. I'm only in the country for my wedding, I live abroad. My new job and my fiancee pressured me and reassured me I should already use my new married name professionally. I'm a teacher and all my kids already know me as his name.
Everything sucks and I can't stop sobbing.
Edit: to clarify. He left me while we were about to sign the marriage certificate. It's a symbolic left at the altar since there was never going to be an actual altar anyway.
Update: I told my mom that the way she phrased her advice/opinion was cruel. She told me she's tired of my drama and doesn't need it in her old age. I already had told her she was right and I knew what she said was right, but just that the way she said it was cruel. She said she no longer cares about maintaining a relationship with me and that it isn't worth the drama at her age. I apologized because she's right. I'm a piece of shit who never saw that this situation hurt and humiliated her too. I wanted to just have this be a nice party with friends and just spend time together. I'm going to try my best to keep my negativity inside so it doesn't spoil the mood and maybe there's a hope to salvage it as a good party. But I think once I return abroad that this will be the last time my mom will ever speak to me again. I don't know how I could repay her for all she spent on this wedding, but hopefully removing myself from her life will maybe make her life more peaceful and less stressful, even if it destroys me.
As for him, thank you all so much for your kindness, advice, and perspectives. It truly makes me feel better to read the comments even if they hurt and I deserve it. We will be talking about it tomorrow in person, and I've scheduled an emergency therapy appointment for myself for tomorrow morning. Ive never done therapy before, and I'm scared, but I know it's what I need. I'm so angry at him for ruining my entire life that I don't know if the love I have can salvage this.
Relevant Comments
Geezell: No, hon. You can’t be with someone who cannot effectively communicate their fears and needs and, instead, choose to run. He failed you. He does not get to treat you like that. You deserve better. Your Mom may have let her anger for you make her word things poorly but she is right….that dude does not get to have his cake and eat it too.
Go back home. Go no contact with him. Finish out the teaching contract as it. Then, my recommendation is to find a teaching job in a dream location. Maybe, be a traveling teacher for a few years. Heal. Live big. And, if you wish, find love again.

OOP: I am a travelling teacher already. I'm home right now just for the week so that I could do my wedding. Back to where I live abroad next week to live a life of isolation and loneliness.

thunderchaud: Please elaborate on cult stuff, that could literally be anything

OOP: He's seen marriage used as a way to entrap and oppress women due to the cult culture of his family. He doesn't understand that what he's done is created a tilted power dynamic where he's holding all the power and autonomy and I'm the scared, anxiety riddled one terrified he'll leave at any moment in any possible future we may have now. Which is honestly worse in my opinion.

detikripur: So many questions but at the top of my head is these: why did he agree to “marry” you? Why were you using a name that wasn’t yours for so long that your students know you by that name? Haven’t you talked beforehand with him? Was this relationship one sided?

OOP: He asked me to marry him. My job told me to start using his name because the school year started in April and I would be changing my name in May. I said no it felt like I'd jinx it. I called him and he said stop being such an over thinker and just use my name. I talked with him, he reassured me. It's been 3 weeks that my kids know me as that name. And to be honest yes it does feel one sided. But not in the way you're implying.

 
Update: I was left at the altar yesterday: May 8, 2024
For a brief recap, I was going to the officiant to sign my marriage license with my fiance (who I'd been with for 4 years). He chickened out and said he couldn't marry me and ruptured my image of us. TLDR at bottom.
On to the update. Since I was so brutally humiliated, it really made me think back on all the not great parts of us. He was always very gaslighty whenever I'd claim his actions reflected the opposite of his words (I respect you, I care for you). So I ended up talking to him. I asked him to define what his definition of loving someone, respecting someone, caring for someone, and trusting someone means. Needless to say they were twisted and not healthy at all. I tried to make him see that and he had a few moments of holy shit I think you're right, I don't actually trust or respect you.
Now just because he admitted it didn't mean the crazy selfish actions didn't continue throughout the entirety of the conversation. It was so crazy how I'd never been able to articulate it in a way to where he actually understood before. He actually had the gall to say "Wow we should have had this conversation a long time ago" because of how much he was realizing he was treating me like trash then gaslighting me about it. I was like bitch I've been trying to tell you this for years but you never respected me enough to listen and I was always too emotional to articulate it properly.
Anyways, he wanted to do marriage counseling with the intent to marry at the end. I told him I'd rather break up because the power dynamic is too shifted and I don't feel like it's salvageable. With how he was listening to me and finally acknowledging and understanding me and his own actions I was hopeful for maybe a friendship one day in the distant future. But after a teary, bittersweet goodbye, he absolutely ruined it with yet another selfish action right at the last moment.
I didn't want to be touched or do physical affection for multiple reasons. One of the main reasons being he uses it for comfort when he's feeling sorry for himself. I had just spent 3 hours explaining how he never thinks of me in any of his actions, and maybe it's cruel of me to keep that last kiss or whatever, but it felt selfish and manipulative to me. So after an actually heartfelt goodbye and promise to be better people in the future, we part ways. Only for him to run back to me to try and do some romantic swoop in and kiss me. I recoiled really fast and honestly just stared at him incredulously. Like he had just ignored everything I had just said. That was the moment I went from sadness and grief from losing something so important to me, to just numb and angry about it.
I haven't cried since, I don't even feel sad when I think about him because all I can think about is how angry the whole thing makes me feel. I'm 28 and feel like I wasted my good years on someone who had zero regard for me in any capacity. I developed so many new insecurities, confidence issues, and trauma from 4 years with him and now I have to navigate the dating pool again with all of that (in a foreign country no less!)
TLDR: I broke up with him and I'm just angry now.
Relevant/Top Comments
Libra_8118: How are you and your mom doing? It sounds like you left your home and family for him. Are you thinking of coming back home?

OOP: Both my family and him are in America. I left for me, my dreams, and career. I'm actually thankful that I can go back abroad to be away from him and honestly I need some time away from my mom as well.

Forward-Cockroach945: Bravo I'm so proud of you for finally ending it with him. It's likely he only "understands" you now as a form of gaslighting and trying to placate you . I know it hurts now but with time you will heal and be stronger. Don't worry about dating right now, worry about loving yourself and nurturing yourself. Give yourself all the love support and understanding you normally gave to him. You deserve it. I hope your therapy visits go well and help you build up your self worth and bullshit detector. I'm so glad to hear you took the right steps towards a healthier happier life
 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

I wanted to express my gratitude to this community for all the helpful insights and information I've gained from your posts. I'm happy to share that I've just received my Green Card approval without an interview and RFE in just 4.5 months! Here's a detailed timeline of my process:

Background: F1 student married to a USC.
Jan 1, 2024: PD I-130 Applied Online (California Service Center). Receipt Block: IOE93778
Jan 4, 2024: PD I-485, I-765 (NBC). Receipt Block: IOE09238
Jan 6, 2024: I-130 status changed to "Actively Reviewing".
Jan 13, 2024: Biometric Scheduled.
Jan 31, 2024: Biometric Appointment, I-485 and I-765 status changed to "Actively Reviewing".
Feb 1, 2024: I-765 Standalone Approval.
Feb 10, 2024: SSN Received.
Feb 16, 2024: EAD Card Received.
May 5, 2024: Email Notification: "We have taken action on your case."
May 6, 2024: Email Notification: "We have taken action on your case." Contacted USCIS via Emma; representative noted both cases transferred to the Local Field Office.
May 10, 2024: Uploaded additional unsolicited evidence (Cover letter, additional pics (10), 2023 tax transcript, car insurance with both names, joint checking account statements).
May 13, 2024: Email Notification for I-130: "We have taken action on your case." Found approval letters in the document tab.
May 14, 2024: Email Notification for I-485: "We have taken action on your case." Found approval letters in the document tabs.

Evidence of Bona Fide Marriage Submitted:
Marriage certificate
25 pictures with family and friends
Travel boarding passes from 2 trips
Shared phone and utility bills
Costco membership
Beneficiary designation on life insurance
Emergency contact in my health portal
Gym memberships in both names
Tax transcripts
Car insurance in both names
Joint driver's licenses with same address
Joint bank account statements from the last 3 months

This timeline might give hope to those in a similar situation. Feel free to ask if you have any questions about the process!
Thank you all once again for the invaluable support!

hey y'all, my usc bf and i (non-daca) are thinking about getting married at a courthouse before having an actual wedding. in california it says you have to obtain a marriage license and have a ceremony within 90 days before obtaining a marriage certificate. since i know a marriage certificate is one of the things i have to submit with the I-130 and I-485, can we start the filing process right after receiving the certificate? are there any other steps we have to take beforehand? any input is greatly appreciated!

Originally, I had planned to get an OATS. However as I've uncovered more and more documents, the discrepancies and gaps have started to dissipate. I am planning to apply either at an embassy outside the US (where I live, I am a US citizen, however) or possibly in Italy.
My line is GGF -> GF -> M (born after 1948) -> Me
Here are the major discrepancies:

1. Some somewhat minor birth day variances for my GGF (one is a year off exactly, the rest are off by a couple days)
   
2. My Grandfather's birth certificate (actually, delayed certificate of birth) has an incorrect place of birth for my GGF (it says he was born in NYC, instead of his actual birth place, this appears to be the port he entered the US from instead). It has a similar error for my GGM. His death certificate does list correct but imprecise places of birth for his parents (i.e. it say my GGF and GGM were born in Sicily which is correct, it just doesn't say the cities)
   
3. My GGF was married three times, his second marriage being to my GGM. His naturalization only lists his marriage and kids from the first and third marriages. However, I do have documentation accounting for his. My GGM divorced him and the divorce records states that he abandoned her. The divorce was granted.
   
4. My GGF's first marriage (before my GGM) license has incorrect names for his parents on the document. I believe these might be his godparents' names but I've been unable to prove that.
   
5. My GGF used a few different variants of his name include an apparent misspelling of his surname, and an americanized first name. However, his naturalization record actually lists all his aliases.
   

I would say apart from these four issues, my documents are generally consistent. I have a ton of supplementary documentation, e.g. censuses and what not. Is it worth pursuing an OATS or should I skip it?

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Conclusion

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Final thoughts on driving more traffic with SEMrush's Top-tier PPC Analysis

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TIA for reading this and your advice. I (30M) have been in a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend (22F) for almost two years. We visit each other at least once a month and have been on many trips together.
We are in different stages of life, where I have my career as a Nurse Practitioner, have grown roots in my city/community, live on my own, investing my money, looking towards marriage/kids within the next five years, etc, whereas she is now restarting her college career (she had tried working first), wanting to go into nursing, still lives with her parents, she just got her drivers license last year, etc.
Her family dynamics and realization for her need for independency has made her finally want to move out, and she plans to move to and begin college in the state I live in. We share the same ethnicity and religion. She is very supportive of me, caring, giving, patient, loves others, me and her family, and I admire her so much for that.
However, I am getting bogged down from supporting her through her family/independency issues, career pursuits, her driving journey, etc, and now facing the concern of what to do. I guess I wished I had someone who had all those check marked, but I stuck by her, as she has stuck by me through my personal issues. Maybe it is right person, wrong time, idk.
She is about to move here in 1-2 months. I know that nursing school is gonna be another challenge. I need advice on how to navigate through this, and what questions I need to ask to give me a better idea of what to do during this transition.

TIA for reading this and your advice. I (30M) have been in a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend (22F) for almost two years. We visit each other at least once a month and have been on many trips together.
We are in different stages of life, where I have my career as a Nurse Practitioner, have grown roots in my city/community, live on my own, looking into investment my money, looking towards marriage/kids within the next five years, etc, whereas she is now restarting her college career (she had tried working first), wanting to go into nursing, still lives with her parents, she just got her drivers license last year, etc.
Her family dynamics and realization for her need for independency has made her finally want to move out, and she plans to move to and begin college in the state I live in. We share the same ethnicity and religion. She is very supportive of me, caring, generous, merciful, loves others, me and her family.
However, I am getting bogged down from supporting her through her family/independency issues, career pursuits, her driving journey, etc. I guess I wished I had someone who had all those check marked, but I stuck by her, as she has stuck by me through my personal issues. Maybe it is right person, wrong time, idk.
She is about to move here in 1-2 months. I know that nursing school is gonna be another challenge. I need advice on how to navigate through this, and what questions I need to ask to give me a better idea of what to do before this transition.
TLDR: 30M and 22F, in different life stages, feeling insecure about the future. Any advice appreciated.

My fiancée and I have a marriage license, However since getting the license a month ago, we moved into a new home and had our licenses updated to reflect the new address.
Would that be an issue when going back to city hall to preform the actual ceremony?

TIA for reading this and your advice. I (30M) have been in a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend (22F) for almost two years. We visit each other at least once a month and have been on many trips together.
We are in different stages of life, where I have my career as a Nurse Practitioner, have grown roots in my city/community, live on my own, investing my money, looking towards marriage/kids within the next five years, etc, whereas she is now restarting her college career (she had tried working first), wanting to go into nursing, still lives with her parents, she just got her drivers license last year, etc.
Her family dynamics and realization for her need for independency has made her finally want to move out, and she plans to move to and begin college in the state I live in. We share the same ethnicity and religion. She is very supportive of me, caring, giving, patient, loves others, me and her family, and I admire her so much for that.
However, I am getting bogged down from supporting her through her family/independency issues, career pursuits, her driving journey, etc, and now facing the concern of what to do. I guess I wished I had someone who had all those check marked, but I stuck by her, as she has stuck by me through my personal issues. Maybe it is right person, wrong time, idk.
She is about to move here in 1-2 months. I know that nursing school is gonna be another challenge. I need advice on how to navigate through this, and what questions I need to ask to give me a better idea of what to do during this transition.

Do not get boost infinite insurance is through a company called likewise, they took my information. They did not on the policy agreement that I paid for my account is paid for I do not have. I had to get another service through Walmart every time I call I get the runaround, I call likewise I don’t think the company is real. They asked me for my Social Security card photo of my wife’s ID photo ID photo of marriage license photo of Bill and steel did not send me a phone. Do not get boost infinite.

I am ordained with the American Marriage Ministries and plan to officiate my sister’s wedding in a few weeks in upstate NY. Today my sister and partner went to get their marriage license for the wedding and was told from the town clerk office that the AMM is not recognized anymore and that I need to obtain a one-day marriage officiant license (which involves paying a fee and getting it notrized) I’ve never officiated a wedding before but it seemed like getting ordained from AMM was a logical way to officiant the wedding a legal marry by sister. Can someone tell me their experience with something like this.

Pretty straightforward. Can I hide any of the information from my marriage license in Michigan and if so, how do I go about this.

I'm Lawrence (Larry) Kestenbaum, Washtenaw County Clerk and Register of Deeds. I'm a candidate for re-election this year. I have one opponent in the August 6th primary; there are also two candidates competing for the Republican nomination.
(I have been active on Reddit for years, mainly under my personal account -- u/old-guy-with-data )
The county clerk is the county's chief election official, records all births, deaths, and marriages, among other things. The register of deeds (a separate position in most Michigan counties) records all the land records for the county.
I was first elected in 2004, defeating my Republican predecessor. Washtenaw used to be a Republican county; I'm the first Democratic county clerk in seven decades. I was re-elected in 2008, 2012, 2016, and 2020.
I have accomplished many things in my time as clerk. The office is now more efficient and more transparent than ever before. We meet the growing service needs of this county with half as many employees as I had when I started.
My commitment is that every person who comes to our office be treated with courtesy and respect. Even, or especially, those who are rude, or angry, or agitated, or confused.
In March 2014, when a federal judge struck down Michigan's anti-gay-marriage amendment, for what turned out to be 24 hours, I opened the office on a Saturday to process marriage licenses for same-sex couples. Three other county clerks followed my lead, hundreds of couples were married, and the whole country got a glimpse of what marriage equality would mean to our citizens.
Before I was clerk, I was one of the pioneers of the World Wide Web. In 1996, I created the Political Graveyard web site, which made a lot of U.S. political history available online.
And, as clerk/register, I have vastly expanded online access to county records.
When I took office, all of the county's deeds and land records, on paper in bound volumes, dating back to 1824, were stored in the basement, in downtown Ann Arbor, which is at risk for a catastrophic flood. Now, all of those documents have been imaged and made available online, while the actual books have been moved to a safer location.
I have also worked with the Civil Rights Initiative at the UM Law School, and the organization Justice InDeed, to document Washtenaw County's dark history of racially restrictive covenants.
I was well prepared to be the county's chief election official. I had served as a poll worker and challenger in city and township elections, and as an attorney for candidates in recounts. Starting in the 90s, I've written and lectured on issues ranging from authenticating voters to the appropriate technology for tabulating ballots.
I have been a longtime advocate for needed changes in the election system, including no-reason absentee voting and post-election audits. I have been in the forefront of those fighting the unconstitutional 2012 law that makes it far more difficult for voters to recall their elected officials.
Conflict over elections is expected to reach a crescendo this year, particularly in the "swing state" of Michigan:

• Poll of election officials finds concerns about safety
  
• Ahead of 2024 election ... officials discuss voting changes and misinformation
  
• I'm an election law expert. Here's what I fear most in 2024
  
• Preventing U.S. election violence in 2024
  

The best defense against voter suppression and disruption is a county clerk with deep election experience.
I would appreciate your support.
--Larry Kestenbaum, Washtenaw County Clerk / Register of Deeds

Starting a new business involves important decisions that can significantly impact the future of your venture.
Setting up your LLC is one of these areas.
Failure to navigate this process effectively can result in costly setbacks, both in terms of time and finances.
Here are six crucial mistakes to avoid:

1. Choosing The Wrong Entity

Selecting the appropriate type of LLC lays the foundation for your business's financial and operational framework.
Single-member, multi-member, and S-Corp classifications offer distinct advantages and considerations.
A single-member LLC provides simplicity in paperwork while ensuring liability protection.
Conversely, opting for an S-Corp designation entails different tax obligations, potentially offering tax-saving opportunities for higher earners.
Understanding the nuances of each entity type is paramount.
Seeking guidance from seasoned professionals can illuminate the optimal choice tailored to your business needs and goals.
NOTE: The LLC service I recommended that gives the most hands on assistance with this is ZenBusiness, (affiliate link). The team there are great for giving advice on exactly how to navigate the various steps to forming your LLC, or S-Corp.

2. Incorporating in the Wrong State

Deciding where to incorporate your business involves weighing legal, financial, and administrative factors.
While certain states like Delaware and Wyoming offer enticing legal and tax incentives, they may not be conducive to the needs of smaller enterprises or solo entrepreneurs.
Incorporating out of state may lead to increased paperwork, fees, and regulatory complexities, offsetting potential benefits.
Prioritize practicality and compliance by assessing the requirements of your home state and consulting legal counsel to navigate any jurisdictional considerations effectively.

3. Forgetting to Keep Your LLC Compliant

Establishing an LLC marks the beginning rather than the culmination of your compliance obligations.
Maintaining regulatory adherence safeguards against risks such as piercing the corporate veil and personal liability exposure.
Vigilance in areas such as using the business name consistently, fulfilling annual reporting requirements, and segregating business finances from personal funds is imperative.
Engage with legal professionals or regulatory authorities to stay abreast of compliance obligations and fortify your business's legal standing.

4. Incorporating Without Required Licenses

Securing requisite licenses and permits is a prerequisite for conducting business lawfully in many industries and jurisdictions.
Failure to obtain mandated licenses can result in penalties and operational disruptions.
Whether at the local, state, or federal level, thorough due diligence is necessary to identify and fulfill licensing requirements pertinent to your business activities.
Prioritize regulatory compliance by proactively acquiring the necessary licenses and permits, thereby mitigating legal and financial risks.

5. Failing to Get the Right Kind of Legal Assistance

While self-filing an LLC may suffice for straightforward cases, complex scenarios demand expert legal guidance.
Collaborating with legal professionals ensures comprehensive understanding and adherence to legal obligations, particularly in multi-state operations or partnership arrangements.
The upfront investment in legal counsel can yield invaluable dividends by preempting potential disputes or regulatory oversights.
Explore avenues for legal assistance, such as specialized services or legal consultations, to safeguard your business's legal integrity and mitigate future liabilities.

6. Using Random Legal Documents Found Online

The proliferation of online resources offers convenience and accessibility in various facets of business management.
However, indiscriminate adoption of generic legal documents poses inherent risks.
Templates sourced from the internet may lack specificity or fail to address unique circumstances, potentially leading to contractual ambiguities or disputes.
Exercise prudence by scrutinizing online templates and supplementing them with professional legal review when necessary.
Customizing legal documents to align with your business's specific requirements enhances clarity and mitigates legal uncertainties.

If you aren’t signing the marriage license during the ceremony, what are other options to make sure it gets done? Considering doing it right after the ceremony before family photos, but am curious to know what other people have done.

Hi! My partner and I have decided to elope in Central Park on Friday, around 3:00 in the afternoon. No reason for the rush beyond we’ve been engaged for 3 years at this point, it’s the second marriage for us both, and so far planning anything always seems to start small then balloon with family input. We both work for the park, met in the park, and realized that the idea of just us and our 3 year old, on a beautiful spring day in a spot that’s meaningful to us, is what makes us feel the happiest. So that’s what we’re doing! We have an appointment for the license tomorrow morning, just need to find an officiant to make it happen. Send recs please!

As many of you may have read, there is a case of two missing adopted kids in North Carolina, where remains have been found. The news has reported that their adoptive “mother” is Avantae Deven.
I’m a curious person and started digging up information on Avantae Deven when I first read the story in my news feed and could not believe what I was reading. It seemed like whomever this woman is must have be using an alias; Avantae Deven is not a name like Kim Jones or Mackenzie Smith.
The more I dug, the weirder it seemed to get. I found a property deed to a place in Sedona, Arizona, and figured out that whomever this Avantae person is, she at one point in time had owned a home together with someone named Nicole Adams. So I dug into who Nicole Adams was, and learned that she was the widow of a spiritual leader named Robert Adams. It appeared to me that there would be no way to identify who Avantae really was, unless I could also identify the true identity of Robert Adams.
*******
I've done investigative work for many years, including skip tracing. I can conclusively state that there was absolutely no person actually named Robert Adams born in New York State on January 21, 1928. This is demonstrated by the New York Birth Index. I have combed the census records for 1930, 1940, and 1950, and cross-checked them against multiple databases, and am confident that nobody with the birth name of Robert Adams was born anywhere in the United States on January 21, 1928.
Moreover, there was absolutely no person with the true name of Robert Adams who died anywhere at all in the United States, let alone Sedona, Arizona, on March 2, 1997. This is demonstrated by the Social Security Death Index.
I began this research largely by performing exhaustive searches on the known addresses that are associated with Robert, his wife Leonie (who used to use the alias Nicole), and Avantae Deven (who turns out to be their daughter Michelle who began using the alias Avantae in the mid-1990’s or so). Most of the addresses are PO boxes. Those that are PO boxes are all *private* PO boxes, not PO boxes that one can rent from the United States Postal Service. To me, that spoke volumes. The family were clearly using aliases.
As I explain further below, I eventually determined that “Robert Adams” was Robert Spiegel, born 21 January 1932 in New York. “Nicole Adams” was actually Aileen Beverly Leonie Maxwell, born February 2, 1929, in Jamaica. “Avantae Deven” is actually their daughter, Michelle K. Spiegel, born on October 1, 1960, in California.
One of Robert’s many false stories about Robert’s life that my research has refuted is Robert’s claim that his mother was Jewish and his father was Catholic. That was a lie. Both of his parents were Jewish. It’s also interesting that he claimed that he was “raised Catholic.” There is absolutely nothing to suggest that. His mother always, in New York, lived in Jewish neighborhoods. Moreover, as will be discussed below, his parents had a Jewish wedding. It’s also downright absurd that he would tell people that he was “half Jewish.” If your mother’s Jewish, you are Jewish, pure and simple. Even if Robert’s father had truly been Catholic (which he wasn’t; his name was Samuel Spiegel and he immigrated to America in 1907, lived with his Jewish, Yiddish-speaking cousins, and spoke Yiddish himself), Robert would have been Jewish because the status of being a Jew comes from the mother. Robert’s mother’s name was Fannie (nee Fleisfeder) Spiegel. Fannie’s parents were Itzik Fleisfeder and Esther Libke (nee Rifkin) Fleisfeder. Esther’s parents were Mendel Rifkin and Sarah whose maiden name is lost to time and the disappearance of the shtetls. Robert’s claim to having had a Catholic father was utterly false, but is part and parcel of his ongoing compulsive daily lying about anything and everything.
Here is the story.
*******
Kolomyia, formerly known as Kolomea, is a city currently located in the Western Ukraine.
On January 21, 1892 (the same year that Kolomea tallis¹ workers went on strike for better pay and working conditions), Kolomea resident Rachel Katz, wife of Abraham Spiegel, gave birth to a son, who was given the name Schmuel.
On the date that Schmuel Spiegel entered the world, Kolomea was ruled by the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy, and almost half of the city’s residents were Jewish.
In June of 1907, fifteen-year-old Schmuel² boarded the Zeeland, which sailed from Antwerp, Belgium, arriving at New York Harbor on June 18, 1907. The ship’s manifest states that Schmuel’s father had paid for his transport, and that Schmuel intended to reside with his father, Abe, in Brooklyn. Schmuel was granted entrance, and took up residence with his cousin Charles Fetner, who resided at 353 Myrtle Avenue, Brooklyn, in Apartment A with his wife Jennie and their baby daughter Ettie. The sparse record that exists suggests that although Schmuel’s father was, indeed, named Abraham, Abraham lived and died in Europe, without immigrating to America.
The 1910 census describes Samuel’s cousin Charles as a carpenter, who had been married to housewife Jennie for six years, and a father of three children-- Ettie age four, Nathan age two, and baby Jacob, who was not even a year old. Eighteen-year-old Samuel was identified by profession as a “Foreman Sailmaker” in an industry described as “pocket-books.”
Three and a half years after being granted admission, on a bitterly cold winter day, January 4, 1911, Schmuel (now employed as a pocket-book maker, and having Anglicized his name to Samuel) signed and submitted his declaration to become a United States citizen. He stated, in that declaration, that he was born on January 21, 1892.
By 1915, Samuel had left his cousin’s abode and was residing as a lodger in the home of a widow named Rose Hammer, who lived with her two adolescent sons, Meyer and Louis, at 531 E. 5^th Avenue; Samuel was now working as a “driver.”
Two years after the 1915 state census was taken, Samuel had moved back to Myrtle Avenue, but this time at building no. 849. On June 15, 2017, Samuel registered for the draft, and described himself as being a pocketbook maker, working for “A. Shoenfeld,” at 101 Crosby Street, New York. He was single. He stated, in his draft registration, that he was born on January 21, 1892.
*******
A woman named Fruma Fleisfeder was born in Beltz, Bessarabia, sometime between July 1, 1893, and 1901, to Itzik Fleisfeder and Esther Lieba Rifkin. Fruma (not living up to her pious given name) provided different dates and years of birth to different authorities on different occasions, making it impossible at this point in time to know her true position in the birth order of her family. Regardless, Fruma, who began using the name Fanny upon her entrance to the United States, did have three brothers and a sister who also came to America-- Louis Fleisfeder who was born April 10, 1890, Max Irving Fleisfeder who used October 10, 1892 as his birthdate, Hersch (later known as Harry), whose official birthdate was December 15, 1901, and Sylvia who was born in approximately 1906.
On December 1, 1919, Fruma arrived in New York Harbor on the ship La Touraine, declaring her intention, at entry, to become a United States Citizen. The ship’s manifest describes her as five feet five inches tall, with fair hair, blue eyes, and a fair complexion. The ship’s manifest states that she was, at that time, age 24. If that were correct, she would have been born in 1895.
Fruma (then going by Fanny) took up residence with her cousin Ethel (nee Ruchlin) and Ethel’s husband Samuel Steinberg, on 15^th Street, Brooklyn. Soon thereafter, Ethel gave birth to her first child, a daughter named Theresa. The 1920 census states that Fanny was Russian, didn’t speak English but, rather, spoke Hebrew, and worked as a milliner in a millinery store. The 1920 census also states that Fanny was age 25, which lines up with her being age 24 in the prior year’s ship manifest.
*******
Sam and Fanny married in Manhattan on January 24, 1925. Their marriage certificate (signed by each of them) identifies Sam as being age 32 (contradicting, by one year, his immigration records which would have placed him at age 33), and identifies Fanny as age 24, the same age that she had claimed to be six years prior, and also contradicting an immigration petition that she would file two decades in the future, which generally placed her birth year at the mid-point of 1893.
If Fanny’s immigration records (which included a petition with her signature on it) were correct, Fanny would also have been age 32 as of her marriage to Samuel, not age 24.
So did Fanny lie in her marriage certificate? Or did she lie in her immigration petition?
The marriage certificate identifies Sam as having been born in Kolomea, Austria, and his father being Abraham, and his mother being Rachel Katz. It identifies Fanny as having been born in Beltz, Russia, to a father named Isaac, and to a mother named Esther Rifkin.
The marriage certificate does not identify Fanny as having any profession, but identifies Sam as being a pocketbook maker.
Sam and Fannie were married at 125 E. 4^th Street, Manhattan, a six-story apartment building with retail units on the ground floor that is now an expensive co-op, with three-bedroom units selling for over $900,000. Present-day real estate advertisements alternatively state that the building was built in 1894, 1903, and 1905.
The first name of the rabbi who officiated was Harry. His surname starts with Reid, but the remaining letters of his signature are illegible. Rabbi Harry identified his residence as 232 Broome Street, which, at the time, was a four-story mixed use building that, among other things, housed Chevrah Ahavath Zedek Anshei Jaskinover.
Witnesses to the marriage were Mayer Budmon and Samuel Steinberg.
*******
Sam and Fanny’s existence was documented next in the 1925 New York State census by census. They were living at 205 S. 2^nd Street. Samuel was still working as a “pocketbook maker.” Fanny was identified as a “housewife.”
Fanny was identified as age 25. This was in accordance with her age as stated on her marriage certificate, but not in accordance with her immigration documents or the 1920 census.
Sam was identified as being age 28, which conflicted with all prior records.
*******
In 1930, the couple were again enumerated, this time in the Federal census. The enumerator, whose signature appears to be “Max Krahn” (or something like that) stated that he obtained the information on April 16, 1930.
Sam was identified as a “framer” of pocketbooks. He was identified as being 36 years of age, which conflicts by two years with the age that he provided to immigration authorities. Perhaps the enumerator was simply sloppy; Samuel was also incorrectly identified in the 1930 census as having been born in “Poland,” with parents who were both also born in “Poland,” notwithstanding other governmental records having identified him as being Austrian. The language he spoke? “Jewish,” according to the enumerator. Was that to mean Hebrew? Yiddish? Both?
Fannie was identified as age 30 (directly in conflict with the information she supplied in her immigration petition, which bears her signature) and as being “Russian,” with parents born in “Russia.” The 1930 census enumerator incorrectly wrote that her year of immigration was 1921. Fannie, too, was identified by the enumerator as speaking the “Jewish” language.
Although later records reflected that Sam and Fannie had a son named Irving who was born in 1926, Irving was not recorded in the 1930 census. Was he missed by the enumerator? Or was he a later-adopted son?
The couple also had a boarder, identified by the 1930 enumerator as one Esther “Larson,” age 40, born in Russia, and similarly a speaker of the “Jewish” language.
*******
The New York Birth Index identifies a baby boy, Robert Spiegel, as one of many babies having been born in the city on January 21, 1932.
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On May 21, 1936, Samuel committed suicide by hanging in the family residence, a tenement apartment located at 1168 Union Avenue, in the Bronx. Although, based upon the date of birth that Samuel used for official governmental purposes he was age 44, the death certificate stated that he was age 43.
Fannie engaged the Gordon Funeral Home to prepare him for burial.
Strangely, although Samuel’s headstone accurately identified him in Hebrew as Schmuel Spiegel, son of Avraham, it inexplicably incorrectly stated that he died at age 40.
Fannie of course knew her husband’s real age; both of them signed the marriage certificate that had Samuel’s correct age listed. Furthermore, Samuel had petitioned for citizenship in 1911, and stated that his date of birth was January 18, 1892.
Why would Fannie commission a headstone with a false age? Perhaps she, like her son, was a compulsive liar. Maybe that’s where Robert got it from.
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The 1940 census has Fannie (identified as age 38), Robert (identified as age 8), and Fannie’s son/Robert’s brother, Irving Spiegel, age 13, as living with Fannie’s 72-year-old mother, Esther Fleisfeder, at 1537 Fulton Avenue, in the Bronx. Fannie and Esther were identified as widows. Esther was identified as “U” (unable to work), while Fannie was identified as engaged in housework. No source of income for the family was identified.
No explanation is obvious regarding where Irving was living in the census taken a decade previously. Was he adopted?
There is no “Irving Spiegel” listed in the New York Birth Index for either 1926 or 1927. There is an “Irving Spiegal” listed, who was born April 29, 1926. But he is not Irving Spiegel.
I initially thought that perhaps Irving might be one of the unnamed Baby Boy Spiegels born in New York in 1926 or 1927, and that he left the hospital unnamed because his parents were waiting for his bris before naming him. However, Robert left the hospital with the name Robert. Why wait until the bris to name one child, but not the other?
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Slightly less than two years after she was enumerated in the 1940 census, Fannie’s mother Esther died, at home, at 1537 Fulton Avenue. The causes of death were “Coronary Thrombosis, Pulmonary Oedema Nephritis, Hypertension, Arteriosclerosis.” Esther left this world on February 6, 1942, the same day that the W. L. Steed was torpedoed, shelled and sunk less than a hundred nautical miles east of the mouth of Delaware River by a German submarine.
She was buried at Mount Moriah Cemetery in Fairview, New Jersey, the same cemetery where her son-in-law Samuel was interred.
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On November 12, 1943, Fannie, now residing at 1985 Bathgate Avenue, in the Bronx, petitioned for citizenship. She claimed, in that document bearing her signature, to be fifty years of age, meaning that if she was telling the truth, she would have been born in approximately 1893.
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On January 19, 1948, Robert (having assumed a false date of birth, that being January 18, 1931), enlisted in the New York National Guard. On paper, he had turned age 17 the day before his enlistment. In reality, he would be turning age 16 two days after his enlistment.
On December 9, 1949, Robert was discharged from the national guard, apparently for having been AWOL.
The discharge document identifies his address as being 1985 Bathgate Avenue, New York City.
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The 1950 census places Robert again at 1985 Bathgate Avenue, New York City. It correctly identifies him as age 18, and states that he worked as a shipping clerk for a newspaper company.
According to the 1950 census, Robert resided at the Bathgate Avenue address with his mother Fannie, who was purportedly still age 50 (seven years after she had previously claimed to immigration authorities to be age 50), and Robert’s brother Irving, age 24.
Irving was listed as unemployed and moreover, according to the census record, had not worked for the prior year. Fannie was employed full-time as a milliner in a hat factory.
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Military records reflect that Irving J. Spiegel, born in 1926 and a resident of 1985 Bathgate Avenue, who had completed two years of high school education, had flown bomber planes over Germany during the war. In his military documents, Irving described himself as single, with two dependents.
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On February 2, 1929, a baby girl given the name Aileen Beverly Leone Maxwell was born in Lucea, Hanover, Jamaica, to William Maxwell and Daisy (nee Tibbits) Maxwell. Her birth was registered by her parents.
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In 1954, Robert Spiegel and Aileen Maxwell were married in New York City. Their marriage license was given License No. 10284.
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The following year, the Kingston, Jamaica, Gleaner reported on June 6, 1955:
Miss Leonie Maxwell, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. W. J. Maxwell, was married recently in New York City to Mr. Robert Spiegel of the U.S.A. Both the bride and groom are students at the New York Institute of Dietetics. The bride left the island nearly two years ago for New York. Her wedding gown was chantilly lace and nylon tulle. The bodice was fashioned with a wide, scalloped neckline and elbow-length sleeves. Her three tier skirt of chantilly lace was over pleated nylon tulle. Her fingertip-length veil was adorned with pearls.
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If the claim regarding the couple studying at the New York Institute of Dietetics was even true, their studies at this institution didn’t last long. In May of 1956, a number of advertisements bearing Robert’s photograph appeared in the Kingston, Jamaica Gleaner. The advertisements described Robert as a psychologist, author, lecturer, and “practitioner in auto suggestion,” and identified him as “Dr. J. Robert Spiegel.” Readers were invited to come meet Robert on May 21, 1956, at Record Plaza, where he would be autographing his “latest” “world-wide” 33 and 1/3 RPM record, “How to Stop Smoking in 7 days by Auto-Suggestion.”
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On May 1, 1959, three residents of 1985 Bathgate Avenue, Bronx, New York, came through customs, having returned from a trip to Jamaica. They identified themselves as “Robert D. Spiegel” born in New York (in addition to giving himself a false middle initial, Robert neglected to complete the I-94-A fully, specifically by leaving his birthdate blank), “Leonie A. Spiegel” born in Jamaica on February 2, 1929, and their minor daughter, and “Sharon S. Spiegel,” born in New York. Someone also neglected to fully complete Sharon’s I-94-A, specifically by leaving her birthdate blank.
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Leonie had taken Sharon to Jamaica two years earlier. There are no publicly available records pertaining to their outbound transport from the United States to Jamaica. There is, however, a record pertaining to their return to the United States. That publicly available record does not provide their address, but Sharon is identified as weighing 1 stone 5 pounds (a total of 19 pounds), and Leonie is identified as weighing six stone 5 pounds (89 pounds). Interestingly, Leonie used the name “Aileen Spiegel,” and the records assert that Aileen has no middle initial. Aileen was / is her true legal first name, but it is a lie to say that she has no middle initial.
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Almost two years later, on January 5, 1958, the Kingston, Jamaica Gleaner reported:
Staying at the Tamarind Hotel are Mr. and Mrs. Bob Spiegel and daughter Sharon of Miami, Florida. Mrs. Spiegel is the former Leonie Maxwell, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. W. J. Maxwell of Lucea and has been in the United States for several years. A welcome party in their honour was given last Saturday night by Messers. Horrace, Ray, and Dennis Maxwell, brothers of Mrs. Spiegel. It was a very enjoyable affair.
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In 1963, roughly five years after their 1958 visit to Jamaica, Leonie petitioned for naturalization, in Louisiana. Although I am in possession of the index showing that she petitioned in 1963, I do not possess the petition itself. However, the fact that she petitioned for naturalization in Louisiana demonstrates that that at least she was residing in Louisiana at the time. Since she stated that she didn’t leave Robert’s side for over 40 years, presumably Robert, young Sharon, and also baby Michelle were living in Louisiana at that time.
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People who knew Robert personally relate that he stated that Leonie was a Cayman Island heiress. She wasn’t. Not only was she not born in the Cayman Islands, Leonie’s father’s estate was litigated (with the judge ruling against her) long before Robert started telling people that his wife was a Cayman Islands heiress.
Leonie’s father did leave an estate, but not to her. On November 9, 1967, the Gleaner reported that the Supreme Court had upheld the will of the late William Josiah Maxwell, the father of Horrace, Ray, Dennis, and Leonie, and the husband of Daisy Maxwell, who had contended that William’s signature was a forgery and that the person to whom his estate had been bequeathed had exercised undue influence. The court disagreed. The article reported:
The estate, which one of the executors described as “a sizeable one,” included 112 acres of land at Paradise and three houses at Lucea, Hanover.
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Robert apparently wasn’t banking on Leonie’s inheritance in any event. In May of 1966, advertisements appeared in the Houston Chronicle with Robert’s photo on them, selling a record that would purportedly assist people in stopping smoking in seven days. He identified himself as “Dr. J. Robert Spiegel.”
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On page 55 of the November 15, 1969, San Antonio, Texas Express and News, was an advertisement stating:
SCIENCE OF THE MIND
Dr. J. Robert Spiegel of Houston, director and founder of the Science of the Mind Foundation there, is conducting Sunday evening meetings at 7:30 p.m. in the Sheraton Inn, 1400 Austin Hwy.
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On page 4 of the July 10, 1970 edition of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram was a photograph of Robert, with a brief local news blurb:
GUEST – Dr. J Robert Spiegel of Houston, Science of Mind Foundation director, will speak at the 10:45 a.m. service tomorrow in First Church of Religious Science, 2001 6^th Ave. His subject is “What Religious Science Teaches.”
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On page 8 of the June 18, 1970 edition of the Houston Daily Cougar was this advertisement:
HOME OF UNIVERSAL LIFE
“Teaching Aquarian Meditation For The New Age
Meets Every Sunday, 11:00 A.M. At The World Trade Center Auditorium
Houston, Texas
DR. J. ROBERT SPIEGEL (BRAHMADANDA) DIRECTOR - FOUNDER
Aquarian Meditation Initiation for the first time offered through correspondence. For those sincere students wishing to bypass evolution and enter the 5th Kingdom. Initiation includes meditation technique, Mantra, how to "live” 24 hours a day, and much more. Write for application today:
P.O. Box 53328 Houston, Texas 052
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From the Galveston Daily News, May 02, 1971, Pg. 31:
AQUARIAN MEDITATION SOCIETY PRESENTS DR. J. ROBERT SPIEGEL AN AUTHOR, LECTURER, TEACHER OF YOGA & SELF DEVELOPMENT WILL SPEAK ON MAN, MIND & THE UNIVERSE WEDNESDAY, MAY 5th AT 7:30 P.M. IN THE RECREATION CENTER HARRIS COUNTY PARK, NASA RD. # 1 ALL WELCOME — DONATION $1.50
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The 1972 Spiritual Community Guide lists Robert twice, in the San Diego area. First, on page 117, using his alias “J. Robert Spiegel”:
THE TEMPLE OF METAPHYSICAL ABUNDANCE. J. Robert Spiegel, 1118 Torrey Pines Rd., 92037. Teaches yoga, nutrition, ESP, metaphysics, psychology, mind control
Second, on page 124, in which he, as one might have predicted, was masquerading as some sort of medical man or scholar:
"AQUARIAN MEDITATION SOCIETY, U. S. Grant Hotel, Attn: Dr. Robert Spiegel, 453-7588"
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Also in 1972, Volume 25 of San Diego Magazine published in November advertised gift certificates for the “Astrology Research Center.” “Give your loved one the gift of love. Only $50” said the advertisement. Where was this entity located? At 1118 Torrey Pines Road, the same address as Robert’s Temple of Metaphysical Abundance. The advertisement purported that person identified as “Lil Canaan” was the director. The telephone number was 459-6400.
In 2013, the San Diego Union Tribune published the obituary for Lillian Mulonas, who founded the La Jolla “Astrology Research Center.” At this point in time, unless Robert Adams’ only surviving daughter, Michelle/ Prentiss/ Avantae knows the answer and talks, we will not know what relationship, if any, existed between Robert’s Temple of Metaphysical Abundance and Lilian’s Astrology Research Center, both of which were located at 1118 Torrey Pines Road in 1972.
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From the July 12, 1973, San Diego Reader:
BRAHMADANDA FOUNDATION
“Teachings of the Cosmic Way” meets Sundays, 11:00 a.m., U.S. Grant Hotel, Crystal Room. Free admission, refreshments served. Call 453-7588 for more information.
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On page 51 of the June 29, 1974 edition of Phoenix’s Arizona Republic was the following advertisement:
Speaker from San Diego
Dr. J. Robert Spiegel from San Diego, a traveler and lecturer, will speak at 8 p.m., Friday in Universal Series Center, 4340 N. Seventh Ave., on the topic “Science of Being.”
He is the founder of the “Aquarian Meditation Society” in Jamaica and is founder and publisher of “Equinox,” a philosophical newspaper.
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The family (Adams or Spiegel, however one might want to refer to them) have resided in (that I know of) New York, Miami, Jamaica, Louisiana, La Jolla, Los Angeles, Houston, New Mexico, Hawaii, Las Vegas, Scottsdale, Sedona, and a number of cities in North Carolina.
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In at least the 1990’s, before he left for Sedona, Robert Adams used the address PO Box 7210, Jordan Avenue, D-30, Canoga Park, CA. He used that address on correspondence he wrote, and on at least one published document. Who else used that address? The data aggregators show that this address was also used by a Michelle K. Spiegel, and a person going by the name Leonie Maxwell. Michelle and Leonie also used other addresses associated with Robert, those being 1815 Willis Avenue Panorama City, and 21551 Burbank Boulevard, Woodland Hills.
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The California Birth Index shows that Michelle K. Spiegel was born on October 1, 1960, in Los Angeles County, to a mother with the maiden name Maxwell.
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In later life, Michelle used the addresses above that are associated with Robert and Leonie, as well as an address of 12004 Vanowen Street #14, North Hollywood. This is the same address at which Denniston Keith Maxwell, one of Leonie’s younger brothers, resided at, after his immigration to the United States. Denniston was one of Michelle’s uncles.
In a recent Facebook posting, Michelle/Avantae stated: “Never knew anything personal about said uncles, etc. Never asked, never cared.” Really? She shared an address with an uncle? Her uncle lived within a few minutes’ drive from her parents, and Michelle/Avantae never knew anything about him?
As an aside, Michelle/Avantae alleged (or admitted) that she “never cared” about anything personal regarding her uncles. If that is true, what does that tell us about Michelle/Avantae’s fundamental character? Antisocial? Psychopathic? Narcissistic in the extreme?
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On August 2, 1996, Michelle, going by the name Avantae E. Deven, married Tyson Ruben Alvarez in Las Vegas. The two had addresses in common in Arizona, Nevada, and Montana.
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Robert “Adams” died on or about March 2, 1997, in Sedona, Arizona.
Shortly after that, in the spring of 1997, “Nicole Adams” and “Avantae Deven” (both aliases; the correct legal names are Aileen Beverly Leonie Spiegel and Michelle K. Spiegel) purchased a home together in Sedona, on Navahopi Road. Shortly after the purchase, “Nicole” quit-claimed her portion to “Avantae.”
On July 17, 2001, Tyson, still married to “Avantae,” quit-claimed any interest in the Navahopi property to “Avantae,” and had the county recorder send the deed to “Avantae” in care of the Infinity Institute, at that time located at 9101 W. Sahara Ave. Suite 105 C29 (in other words, a private post box), in Las Vegas.
Avantae divorced Tyson in 2006. She had, by then, moved to North Carolina. She “served” Tyson via publication summons, claiming that she was unable to find him, despite his information being on multiple data aggregators.
You can go to various Facebook groups, and other sources, to pull up the documents that people have uncovered showing who is associated with the "Infinity Institute," and in what fashion, and also the addresses that they have used over the years.
In any event, this is the information regarding Robert that I think that people need to be aware of.
Why turn to a known liar and con man for spiritual guidance?
1A tallis is a prayer shawl.
2The ship’s manifest states that he was age 14, which conflicts by one year with what Samuel identified as his date of birth. These errors are not uncommon; his fare could have been purchased when he was age 14 and the records not updated.

Sharing in case this helps anyone because I could not find much when I searched. I filed for an amendment to my grandparents' marriage certificate/license because both of their surnames were significantly misspelled.
MASSIVE DISCLAIMER: This is my experience only and any advice given is entirely subjective. The experience will, no doubt, vary wildly court-to-court and beyond that, judge-to-judge. My case was in Allegheny County, Pennsylvania.

1. The forms the court provided were designed for the original applicants themselves and left no room for a third party (a great-granddaughter in my case). I had to decide whether to fill out the form as written and add a page with an addendum letter explaining or to essentially make myself applicant "a" in place of my great grandmother and note "on behalf of [insert grandmother's name]". I chose the latter and there was a moment of confusion when the judge pulled up the documents, but ultimately he said that was fine and the best way it could have been done.
2. I included a lot of documentation and that wasn't as helpful as expected. I included birth/marriage certificates to establish lineage and since I don't have my great-grandparents' social security cards and drivers licenses and such, I even added census data, their children's death certificates and phone directory listings. In my case, the judge didn't even glance at it. The only negative there is that ALL of that is now forever bound to the decree amending the license, so now it's a big fat stack that appears more convoluted than a simple decree. I still think I did the right thing, but if I had clairvoyance, a simple decree would probably make more sense in the Italian courts. (PS I could have been ANYONE and completely changed the marriage certificate of some random people who had their names spelled correctly for all the judge looked at it, which was not at all.)
3. Men in power are used to being men in power. The judge we saw, no doubt thinks he is the funniest and most charming, but he delighted in making me uncomfortable and watching me flounder for polite responses. Example: When I answered sincerely to "Why do you want to change this document?", he responded-deadpan- with, "So you want to sneak around like a thief in the night and change some paperwork and manipulate the process to go join another country then?" (Of course he knows you can't laugh in response and must remain respectful, so what's right answer to that one?) He continued along those lines, but ultimately, there was no actual resistance to getting the decree. If you have the money, get a lawyer. (The judge also sarcastically commented on me trying to represent myself and the court clerk was unhelpful and lost the original filing.)
4. Bring someone with you. If you are not incredibly comfortable with legal proceedings, ridiculously organized, and dripping confidence, bring someone with you. It's not that big of a deal, but I genuinely think having my sweet teenage daughter there made the judge more cooperative even though I brought her to include her in the process for her own benefit. (She also handed me pens and held folders and such, which was more helpful than one would think.) If repairing your grandparents' records and obtaining dual citizenship is personally meaningful to you, it can be of value to have a loved one bear witness as well.
5. Duh, but bring a copy of EVERYTHING including the filing that got you the summons and the summons itself, because apparently, you can be summoned based on that paperwork and they still may not have any idea where it went when you arrive.
6. Expect confusion from clerks. While this is becoming more common, changing certificates of deceased individuals isn't done every day in every court. I had to have the filing ratified in the clerk's office after court and she was convinced I had swiped the original hard copy from the court and she tried to send me back. Another clerk intervened, but apparently, in most cases, the judge does not hand you the original file and tell you to carry it to the clerk's office. (In my case, a block away.)

I also tried to email and call the judge's personal clerk to ask if there were particular documents required as proof and she simply said, "I'm not your lawyer" and got off the phone. Fair enough, lol.
The clerks also had no idea how I should fill out the aforementioned forms which weren't designed with third party applicants in mind. (I brought three copies, each filled out differently, when I initially filed. The office clerks were incredibly sweet and helpful, but they just had no idea what to do and tried to reassure it was probably fine.)
ETA: Someone asked about how significant the name error was. It was surnames-and it was BOTH of their surnames on one document.
For example: something like "Ricci" was "Risti" and something like "Barbato" was "Barba"
I was very lucky their parents' names were only a vowel off and they come from very small places. And I was lucky the clerk in that department was an angel who looked til she found it.