Does my best guy friend like me quizzes

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TITLE: YANDERE CLUB
Note: Any background or ambient noises are optional. Feel free to do what you want.
(Claire is excited and happy.)
Claire: Welcome everyone to the inaugural Yandere Club.
Well, not exactly inaugural. We did try this once before, but it didn’t go over very well. I forget what exactly the problem was, but hopefully we’ve worked out all of the bugs and are on track for an entertaining and enlightening day for all.
(Claire gets down to business, but she’s still happy through all the introductions.)
Let’s start off with some introductions and go over our agenda for today.
I’m the club President. Everyone please remember, no real names. The name I’ll be going by today is Claire, but most of you know me as mycagedloveissoadorable329 in the networking chat room.
The Vice President, mybabylovesmeevenifhedoesntknowityet42, will go by Deena for today’s proceedings. Stand up and wave, Deena.
(Pause.)
Thank you. She’s going to be a little rushed today, folks. She’s fresh from capturing her true love and his drugs will be wearing off in about 20 minutes. You know how important it is to be there when your baby wakes up.
And lastly, our treasurer, hiddencamerasadd10poundsofperfection, who will be going by Emily today. Emily?
Oh, there she is. Hi, Emily.
You’ll have to excuse her. She’s watching her honeybun taking a nap in his bed from 3 different camera angles. She’s going to be a little preoccupied for a while. You understand.
But she did pass on this note before our meeting. She wanted to let you all know that we saved nearly 2,000 dollars by meeting in this abandoned warehouse instead of renting out the sound-proofed room we were looking at originally. A little less secure from possible police interference, but since you all took different routes and each of you are very skilled at not being followed, I’m sure we’re going to be just fine.
And now we can use that money saved to give everyone embroidered collars for their special someone.
Speaking of which, I see some of you brought a plus-1. How lovely. Couldn’t be away from them for more than a second I see.
I do so understand. My Martin is currently loving the silken bonds he’s wrapped up in. He is ever so gently resting while tucked neatly into my podium so I can continue snuggling him throughout today’s proceedings.
Yes, Martin. That’s right. Rest your head on my thigh. Good boy.
I see Fanny brought a new catch today who still looks a little confused. She’s in the honeymoon phase of her relationship. It’s always so exciting when your honey isn’t quite sure of what’s going on, isn’t it? They’re so cute and endearing in that stage. (Giggles.)
Now, who else do I spy? Oh my, Gwendoline, isn’t today your 31^st anniversary with your Harold? That’s amazing. Raise your hands so everyone can see you.
Yes, the hands that are cuffed together. Everyone, give them a big round of applause.
Gwen’s daughter, Irene couldn’t be here today as she’s out setting a trap for her soon to be beau. Gwen couldn’t be more proud.
And, of course, Ralphie is here too looking as cute as ever kneeling beside Janet in his leash.
(Pause.)
(Apologetic.) Oh, that’s right. I’m so sorry Janet. I forgot. Nobody looks at Ralphie.
No, no, Janet. You’re right. It was my slip. But to be fair, if you don’t want anybody to look, you shouldn’t have sat in the front row.
(Pause.)
Yes, I know you’re very interested in the straitjacketing seminar, but you should move to the back or expect people to glance at Ralphie from time to time.
(Pause.)
Yes, that’s better.
(Claire announces each event with anticipation in her voice.)
Now, for our agenda.
This morning we’ve got a fascinating discussion planned: Chloroform, taser, or drugging - Pro’s and cons.
Then Karen has a short presentation entitled “Ear Nibbles And Giggling: A Girl’s Secret Weapons For Reducing Your Sweetie To Putty.”
We’ll break for lunch at approximately 11:30. Sandwiches and chips will be provided on the table over to your right. Bottled water will also be provided, but please remember to check the labels to see which ones have been tampered with and should go to your cute little puppy dogs that are getting a little too rowdy.
After lunch, Ophelia will be showing us the best take-down techniques to either capture the object of your affection or keep him from fleeing, followed up by a presentation on all of the best ways to restrain him.
Yes, Janet, it will include straitjackets.
And finally, we’ll wrap up today’s events with Louise’s very instructive seminar on how to erase your identity as well as your loved one’s.
(Claire gradually becomes more annoyed.)
Any questions? Yes, in the back row. There’s a hand raised.
Oh, Ralphie, are you trying to get me in trouble. You know we’re not supposed to look at you.
(Pause.)
Well, I’m not trying, Janet. He raised his hand.
(Pause.)
Look, what is it Ralphie? Make this quick.
(Pause.)
What? Stalking you? Ophelia! Are you stalking Ralphie?
(Pause.)
Then what are you doing crouched behind the ferns?
(Pause.)
No, I wouldn’t believe you were practicing foraging techniques. Now get up here to the front row where I can see you. Nancy, could you bring Ophelia up to the…
Nancy? Nancy, where did you…
NANCY! Are you stalking Ralphie too?
(Pause.)
Yes, he is a cute boy. Not as perfectly adorable as my Martin, but…
Awwww, thank you for that nuzzle, my sweet Martin. Yes, you’re such a good boy.
(Baby talk.) Mommy wuvs you so vewy much.
(Speaking normally.) Anyway, Ralphie has been claimed. You know the rules of Yandere Club.
(Pause.)
Ugh, yes, the first rule of Yandere Club is nobody talks about Yandere Club. Oh, God, why did we have to make that the first rule?
Yes, Nancy, I know it’s a rule, but it’s not the rule I was talking about and you know it. Don’t be a smartass.
I was referring to rule number 7: Don’t touch another yandere’s possessions.
(Pause.)
Yes, I know telling a yandere not to follow her heart and chase her loved one is like telling someone with the flu not to have fever dreams about her love slipping through her grasp and making it to the police, but I’m telling you anyway. Hands off Ralphie.
(Sternly.) Nancy, Ophelia, both of you up to the front before Janet gouges out both of your eyes. Now!
(Claire gets increasingly stern as things break down into chaos.)
That’s better. Now, where were we?
Janet, stop yelling at me, please. I’m not looking at your Ralphie.
(Pause.)
Oh, that’s not it. Fanny’s new cutie? What about him?
(Pause.)
What? Fanny, he’s getting away. What were you thinking taking off his leg restraints?
(Pause.)
Yes, I know saying he wanted to pick you some wild flowers that matched your eyes melted your heart. It would make any of us swoon, but you know better than to trust him in this stage. You can’t untie him for at least forty eight hours minimum. Would somebody mind snagging him?
(Pause.)
Thank you, Penelope. Now, if you could just bring him back to Fanny, we can continue on.
(Pause.)
Yes, he is super cute, but keeping him from escaping doesn’t mean you get to keep him.
(Pause.)
Penelope, he came in with Fanny. You know the rules.
(Pause.)
Yes, I know rule 57 is that there are no rules for a yandere. But there are rules for these meetings.
Wait, what’s going on over there? Yolanda, are you trying to pick the lock on Harold’s handcuffs? Now, come on, he’s over twice your age.
(Pause.)
Yes, you’re right. Age or anything else doesn’t matter when your heart wants something badly enough, but now Gwendoline has you in a choke hold.
(Pause.)
No, I will not help you out of this mess. You got yourself into it, you get yourself out.
(Pause.)
Oh, all right. Nancy, can you help Yolanda…
Nancy? Nancy, where did you…?
Nancy, why are you and Ophelia grappling?
(Pause.)
No, the winner does not get exclusive rights to chase Ralphie. And now Janet is coming over to kick both of your asses. See what you’ve done?
(Pause.)
Fanny, stop pulling Penelope’s hair. Her screams are causing my Martin to whimper.
(Pause.)
No, you absolutely cannot come up here to apologize to Martin. You just stay down there and keep pulling Penelope’s hair.
Gwendoline, watch out for…
Janet, stop kicking…
Ophelia, you can’t…
Ugh. I should have known better than to put this many yanderes in the same room.
(Claire stops being angry. She gives up on the group and happily exits with her Martin.)
Wait, now I remember. This is what happened to our first meeting.
Oh, how silly of me. I guess I was just too focused on (Cute baby talk.) wuving my adowable wittle pookie bear. Yes, that’s you. Yes, that’s you. My pwecious wittle Martin is my pwecious wittle snoogums, aren’t you?
(Normal.) Don’t worry, baby, I’ll protect you from the crazy ladies. You know what to do. We’ll sneak out through the secret exit behind us here. Once you’re safely tied up again in our secret underground house and resting comfortably on my lap, I’ll jump back into the chatroom and see who survived this mess.
Ta ta, ladies.

I’m 30. I went to college, failed out, had jobs, quit, started a business, watched it fail, dated, broke up, was in love and had it fall apart and my heart broke, had friends, lost all of them, lived on my own, moved back with my parents and I’m just tired of it. I am lost and trapped. I just want it to be over now. I’ve been depressed for nearly 15 years and I was always sad because I never really fit in and I don’t think any friend I’ve ever had really cared about me other than the opportunities I could create for them. I don’t want any more friends but at the same time I’m lonely and I have no way to make friends even if I thought having friends would help. I don’t want to join groups because nothing I’ve been interested in involves groups. I don’t care about sports and the things most guys care about. I’m not a gamer or into anime or that kind of thing. I used to be a musician and then a photographer but I don’t care at all anymore. I don’t even want to get into that again. I don’t really care about the things that allow people to be social. I just fill up my time everyday so that I don’t kill myself but I have little hope that I will ever find a way out or that it will just appear with time. There is no job or career that I want. I went back to college and did well but I don’t know what I was hoping to get from it other than I was around people but they are young and the friends I made have faded away and I’m alone again. I thought I would go to med school but I really don’t care about it because I don’t see how it will make my life better. I don’t even know what I want or care about and I think if I killed myself it would just stop it. I don’t want to think about going to school or getting jobs or making friends or having a relationship anymore. I just would like for it to be over. The only interest I’ve had for the last years is guns. I don’t hunt and I don’t really shoot much because I can’t afford it, but I have the means to stop living and I might soon.
TLDR I’m tired of trying and I don’t know why I’m trying anyway

P.S please seek out help to me, or call your loved ones if you notice these early signs.
Marriage with you was my happiness but prison was already the big red flag that I ignored the moment I knew you 8 months ago. I had it wrapped around my finger, mistakes were bound to happen on our journey but going out to go do cheating was never & ever will be on my list. An 18 year old girl and a 22 year old man. I pushed you to do the best but even the ‘your happiness is my happiness’ did not want to align in your mind. For nearly 8 months your inner hidden subconscious led you to believe I was jealous of you. Jealous of your trading currencies, jealous of your looks, jealous of your job, jealous of your successes & passes, jealous of your money. I made mistakes most of these people were my old friends who i left without a word for you but I am not a try to impress girl, i never was & i never will be. All i wanted & asked for were flowers not a daily bags of expenses from you. I only wanted you to be kind and have a nice tone. When you love, you do love hard but your hatred and want to hurt me surpasses your love for me Murad, you never ever wanted to forgive me Murad but I have and I still do. Since i met you i’ve been on fight or flight mode, I fear you but im not scared of you anymore, but this is still your nature from a little baby to a grown man entering his prime years. You will not change or learn Murad. Changing does not mean praying 5 times and reading Quran. You still managed to fit another woman from another country in our marriage, forget the relationship it was haraam. I never done that Murad. I didnt keep a man on my iMessage or WhatsApp in our marriage. You love money, sex & drugs. It’s what you worshipped since young. That is your qismat. The difference is I had my reason not excuses for my mistakes but you had no reason or excuse Mo because that is in your blood it is how you were born and grew up. You became the waste end product of this emerging environment. I was never the way I was last year Murad, when I was 8, I was taking my shoes & clothes off on roads in my country to give to the poor children, I stole biscuits from my grandmother’s corner shop and was smacked just so I could to give to the orphans whereas at 9 you were smoking weed, having intercourse with women & carrying zombie knives in your pants, leaving a gun in higham hills park or St james park. And if i met men before you and wanted to conceal it you rip my throat off and attempt to take my life? Your story does not deserve to be told in schools Murad, your story is not a life lesson but a facade because you have not learned your lesson, you just become more & more proud about your old ways. You know why? Because I know you don’t regret it Murad, a person who regrets their deed does not boast or feels proud, the man who is regretful of his past actions asks for forgiveness, conceals the sin and moves on. The real reason why you boast about your case is because you were controlling the city’s drug supply. You love control & you love power. Do you know what happens to the elite above when they have so much money, do you know what is above money and below Dajjal? Power. You love power & being in control of your family, friends & wife. That’s how you’ve created your trust issues as well as your own fake army. People can’t be honest around you because you’ve pre built a foundation of fear Murad through your tone, words & agression. Control yourself before you control those around you. That’s the dynamics of it. Stop instilling fear in people to get your stomach full. I have the right to diagnose you with this, you have borderline personality with narcissistic personality and a lack of empathy; a result of your traumatic past experiences so Murad prove my point you don’t trust anyone else to handle my mistakes and forgive me or try to understand me unless you handle my mistake the way your revengeful gut wants to hurt and deal with me. I’ve made mistakes but my love was stronger than me hurting you, we always found each other when we needed each other the most. But that fell off when we got married, you chose friends over your wife waiting for you for 5 hours at home, and coming home to find out you have a secret girlfriend from a week in our nikkah. I forgive you Murad. How do I go to my class with other 18 year old girls knowing I married the lover of my life who nearly ended my life nights previously? How do I deal with this ? Im very mature and I don’t feel my age but somewhere in me is still 18.
You moulded me into a liar because of fear & you moulded me into a broken girl because of your past experience and mistakes i did and you did. Murad I didn’t care that you had no money. My vision is slowly settling into my system and I think the women, family and friends around you is okay with you making & spending haraam money but not me Murad. Just like how you did not like some of my ways and I changed even if i stumbled and made silly mistakes half way or when we ended but i did not like some of your ways and you didn’t change. I didn’t meet anyone. In fact Murad you are my worst nightmare. i ignored all your mistakes every one but little i knew, one day shut me down as if i was your biggest mistake. I put you in your place and you have never had that and neither have I been forced in that position, but yet i still cared if i had money just like when you were at work all day I begged my mother to send me money so my husband can have food in his belly from my bed. I went miles for you but then so did you. You crossed the line on 08/06/2024. You suffocated me with a pillow, grabbed my throat so hard I could not breathe, held a knife at my throat and bruised me, smacked me right on my entire left face and nose, attempted to throw me across the balcony in a tightening grip. I tried to hide the bruises from you, but my arm were in so much pain that when you threw me around I had to let the pain escape my mouth. Murad you ruined an 18 year old girl’s life, Murad I didn’t deserve it at all Murad you tainted and left a big stain by destroying me. Murad you are my biggest mistake but was not your biggest mistake & if thats what you believe then one day you will face the consequence of how big of a mistake I was to you like you said because i never physically, intentionally hurt you behind or in front of you. Its okay, I won’t let your mother or your family know what you done to me because God is the one who delivers justice, not me Murad. I bit you and slapped you so hard because you deserved it at that time, but did I deserve what you physically, mentally and intellectually put me through? Murad i was reading my Shahadah that night in your arms. I was really scared, I’ve never felt that scared. I was shaking. My body was shaken. My mind was shaken. My heart was shaken. Murad you gave me PTSD & trauma, you left me neglected and abused many times but I accepted you for you. I now have to go therapy and take medication Murad just because I hid talking to men in my past and you punished me in a way Allah’s mercy wouldn’t do. I did not cheat on you & I payed my truth in blood when I slit my wrist to prove to you that I did not cheat & or sleep with any men, I was a virgin Murad, but you accused me of the worst Murad in front of everybody Murad. You should have shot me in my heart there because thats where I hurt the most, it’s not fair. Murad If you’re reading this and think you are still a good kind man after what you done to me then prove me wrong, find that goodness seed inside of your heart and hold on to it and believe me for once Murad you know that man was lying to destroy us & it worked.
The night that traumatic night occured, my father previously mentioned to my mother ‘ this girl will die in his hands’ my dad predicted this action.
But that was not enough, your end goal was to murder me & you have. I died that night Murad, you broke me into pieces before and tried to kill me but the night on the 08/06/2024 you murdered me & I did not deserve a pinch of it. I constantly pleaded with you softly, I begged you to stop and stop hurting me that night. Murad do you know what hurts me ? Is if my father witnessed with his eyes how much you mashed my body so much with my face into the bed and wall with your hands & weight, you suffocated and tried to kill me with your hands Murad, I would die before i let my father witness you choking his daughter, history has repeated in your family and someone will do this to your daughter Murad and this time i promise you will see it happen in the moment and that is when your world will end. I didn’t meet anyone when we were together. Murad i promised you my time will come one day when i’ll make you face & understand the consequences of your abusive actions forget words. I won’t punish you, what is gone before is long gone & all you have now is the result of your actions. And that will be my last remembrance of you, you won’t see my face anywhere, you wont hear my name anywhere & you won’t find my anywhere. Murad you are not a man, you are not a stay.busy17 man either and you are definitely not a money motivated man. You sit down on your bed more than you get to work. I do not stand for revenge Murad so destiny and god will restore justice for my silence & sufferings that I faced all alone in your house. I had nobody. Nobody Murad. It was just me And God in your house. That night you nearly ended my life, i repeatedly said to myself ‘Papa please help me God please help me Papa please help me God please save me’ Murad when someone is in so much pain God takes away the pain not by ending their life but by taking their soul out of their body for a few seconds to relieve the pain. I did not meet anyone. My ‘revenge’ is not violence nor revenge itself, my revenge is God, only a taste of your medicine Murad, I will disappear out of your life so quietly without notice because you hurt me more than you love me. Life is not a game, but you are the one who chose this game to play so you’ll play it nicely now. The evilness inside of your eyes that night is something I will never forget. All I wanted was for you not to do drugs in our marriage. In the UK, 75% of ex-inmates reoffend within nine years of release, and 39.3% within the first twelve months, If you are reading this and wondered why I have written this there then you have guessed right,
because you a 22 year old man attempted homicide on an 18 year old girl through grievous bodily harm (GBH), strangulation in form of abuse, with evident body bruises on arm, face, inner thigh and chest/neck. Men like you Murad, they call you strangles. You are most likely to become killers in almost every situation & It is scientifically proven that if you strangle me and if i stay you WILL eventually kill me. My parents were right on their conscious prediction. My life never has and can not be trusted in your hands.
This is only 30% of everything. The rest I will keep to myself.

I(31F) and my bf(33M) have been together for almost 3 years. He fits my criteria for a partner: kind, hardworking, we love spending time together and he often grounds me as I’m quite anxious. My dog LOVES him and his dog loves me. Our parents have met and gotten along and everything seems ok.
He is the only guy I’ve dated Im sexually compatible with. The only one to make me orgasm consistently. So you would think everything is ok then right? Well I have hang ups about how we met. Basically we met after a long term relationship of mine. I wasn’t ready for a relationship so early after the breakup and it caused a lot of fighting. A lot of it bitterness because of cheating from my ex. I wish we had met later after I had some time to heal. So we fought a fair amount for the first 4-5 months of the relationship. I had a 3 month business trip (I was helping out setting up a new location) fully expecting him to have moved on. He waited for me and I think that made me trust him a lot more (I definitely had trust issues after the cheating by my ex). After I came back things got a lot better and I did do some therapy at that time that also helped. We moved together a year later and it’s has been good ever since.
Now we are discussing marriage and I feel like everything is good except that we fought a lot for the first few months of our relationship. We didn’t have the honeymoon period because of the fighting and I wondering it I f*cked it up? Or do relationships that started on instability ever work out?
TL;DR our relationship didn’t start on the best of terms because I wasn’t ready after a break up. We love each other now and things seem to be great now but I’m wondering if marriage is a good idea when the beginning wasn’t sunshine and rainbows?

I am a 22 year old male and honestly very dumb to knowing the signs of a girl liking me. This girl in question is my coworker(20F) and I have know her for about a year. Recently she's been acting weird towards me. The last time I seen her, shes been asking my questions about my family and I did something for her and said I am the best which she never said something like that before. My boss(M) keeps asking me what I think of her in front her. One time she was fake crying and he told me to comfort her. She on some occasions like to tease me. Another incident is the staff were eating a meal together and I usually like to sit farther away just to give everyone space and she asked why did I sit far from everyone else. She blushed one time because I thanked her for the meal as she one time cooked a meal for the staff(another occasion from previously mentioned).My boss keeps asking what I think of her and I am not sure if shes using him as a middle man. I just tell him I wont say anything because I dont know if she 100% like me. There is this guy(17M) who I seen her blush a few times so kinda makes me think she doesnt truly have feelings. She is pretty hot but honestly I am not that good looking and I just find it weird that has happened twice now with two different girls that previously worked at my job. I just find it weird because these girls are pretty hot and I am average at best.
I am here just to get yall opinions on this situation. How should I approach this situation? I appreciate any tips and wanna apologize for any grammar and spelling errors.

I (21F) was doing the dishes the other day and I wasn't feeling too great and apparently I wasn't washing the dishes properly (i wasn't doing it fast enough for his liking) , my husband (35M) saw this and said that "people will abusee the sh1t out of you" "and people beat you up if you do jobs half heartedly" and that "if you lived with other people they'd beat you up"
I felt really uncomfortable and was too stunned to speak so a went back into my room without saying anything.
This isn't the first time he said something similar to me either. In the past, when I either forgot to a do a chore or just did it improperly he implied that if I lived with housemates, they'd beatme up for being messy/lazy/not a good cleaner. He also implied people would harm me because "I'm too passive" and "oblivious"
What really confuses me is that he's a relatively nice guy when he's not like this. He often lends money to his friends (who don't seem to like him much and often take advantage of him and use him as an ATM) and even random people who ask him for it. He even pays for most of my expenses (though lately he is starting to complain about having to spend money on me. He once went off on me for buying a $10 book)
What should I do? Should I stay or should I go?

Reposted from the other sub:
--- ⤪♙ ℂ𝕆ℕ𝕋𝔼𝕏𝕋 ♙⤨ ---
I recently started getting into sleep methods. My method that I settled on in short involves relaxing, assuming I've shifted beyond my closed eyes, letting that feeling sink in for a bit, and then starting to plan my day tomorrow in the DR.
I found that this method is very promising. The hasty switch into planning overcomes a lot of the difficulties I had with LOAssumption. I have not yet perfected it, but in the few tries I gave it, I've already felt the following benefits: - More effortlessly staying in the LOAss state, less distractible - Finally having dreams about the DR, which I never have, even once, in months of doing awake methods and obsessing - Not only do I have dreams of it, but the dreams themselves are from the perspective of my DR self. Sleeping feels different as a whole, and upon waking up I'm still steadfast in my assumption and find myself even confused I'm waking up in the CR.
--- ∿✎𝕋ℍ𝔼 𝕋ℍ𝔼𝕆ℝ𝕐 ---
It seems that the crucial element behind why these attempts seemed so promising was the planning.
I've noticed that there is quite a big distinction between planning and daydreaming. Although they look similar, the sensations are noticeably different if you pay attention. They are different types of thought.
You could make the argument that planning is simply daydreaming, with the addition of LOAss applied to it. Although I don't think it's that simple.
My suspicions were confirmed after skimming through some studies I could find on the topic. Daydreaming and planning light up different areas of the brain, in a different pattern. Planning seems to be more of an executive function, even lighting up parts of the premotor cortex, but more on that later.
So I theorize, that since the act of planning is so fundamental to our survival as a species, and is correlated with more brain activation, compared to imagining or daydreaming: if we engage in planning, that could potentially be overriding tasks of lesser importance. Meaning that planning could be a streamlined technique in fulfilling/bypassing the obstacles for applying LOAss.
--- ⁑☯ 𝕋ℍ𝔼 ℙℝ𝕆𝔹𝕃𝔼𝕄 ☯⁑ ---
I was suggesting this technique to someone, when they asked me how to make sure they're planning and not daydreaming. Then I realised I don't have an answer, I'm stumped.
I subconsciously know the answer, I can feel the difference when I'm doing it. But I have no idea what the difference comes from. I've thought about it for a bit and come up with some inklings, but not a straight-forward answer to the question. And I really believe there is a good lesson in LOA that all of this boils down to, but it would require more than a day or two of thinking. So:
--- ⋋⍨? 𝕋ℍ𝔼 ℚ𝕌𝔼𝕊𝕋𝕀𝕆ℕ ¿⍨⋌ ---
What is the difference between daydreaming and planning? How do you tell which of the two you're doing, what are some telltale signs? What can you do to plan, instead of daydream?
Anyone more experienced with LOAss, or just anyone that enjoys self-reflection and thinking - please share your thoughts on this. I would love to hear them.
╭(-᷅-᷄ 〝)╮- 𝕄𝕐 𝕋ℍ𝕆𝕌𝔾ℍ𝕋𝕊 -╭(-᷅-᷄ 〝)╮
Since I'm the one asking, I'll go ahead and start the discussion to give you something to chew on. (For once this ADHD with its maladaptive daydreaming and overplanning gives me something productive, yay!)
I'll start with daydreaming, what is it? My best description of it is an imagined simulation of a possibility. Unlike planning, there is no drive behind this imagination, the daydreamer is more inclined to just immerse themself in this thought. There is no real expectation that this experience is close to happening, and indeed it almost never does. The ego is very involved in deciding the simulation rules, the classic example is daydreaming about winning an argument lol. The details that are more vivid in the imagination tend to be ones for which there is more desire or lack of for the ego. It's fundamentally a distraction and hinders LOA, as the daydreamer is already satisfied with their current situation and has no need to experience it outside of the simulation at the time.
On the other hand, planning is a simulation of imminent decision-making. It's more of an executive simulation, of a certainty and navigation through it. LOA is naturally fulfilled as the planner truly expects this situation is coming. As I hinted to earlier, interestingly the premotor cortex is very stimulated during planning. The premotor cortex is a part of the brain that primes the spinal brain to receive instructions for direct movement. Which could explain another quirk of planning - the planner can often experience restlessness. Like when you have a big trip tomorrow and can't stop turning in bed, double-checking everything in your mind, until there's only 2 hours of sleep left lol. Anxiety is also not uncommon, as the details of the simulation are less ego-driven and more humbled and concrete.
--- ☽ꉕ⊰ ℂ𝕆ℕℂ𝕃𝕌𝕊𝕀𝕆ℕ ⊱ꉕ☾ ---
That's the end of what I'll rant on for now. I d̶a̶y̶d̶r̶e̶a̶m̶ plan to maybe eventually make another post on this topic with a prototype of a method involving planning as the key element. But that will be after I get some more results for myself and get a clearer picture of these concepts in my head. So thank you in advance, to everyone that chimes into the discussion. And if you're just reading and made it this far - well, I hope you got something out of this. Good luck all, don't limit yourselves! 🍀
(Sidenote: petition to start saying LOAss and LOAt so we can understand which the abbreviation refers to. You can't refuse LOAss, cmon 😆)

I guess this is my last cry for help cause I desperately want to kill myself. It’s currently 4:40 am and I couldn’t bother sleeping. It’s been so long now that I either forget to sleep and stay 35+ hours awake or I just don’t want to wake up to live another day. At the same time I feel like I unconsciously do that to hurt myself. I am 17 years old (18 in November) and I struggle with anxiety and depression 1 and a half year now. I try to be the best person in every situation possible, always smile and always help people most of the times without them knowing about it. Most of the people I know think that I’m the happiest person alive but it’s the exact opposite. It’s been almost a year that i want to kill myself but i was afraid of death. That’s not the case anymore I really want to fucking do it and hurt myself badly. My body and brain do whatever it takes for me not to do it but I can’t anymore. I give my everything to what I do, to friends, to relationships but I always end up being fucked over. I want to die

Normally I’d ask my friends for advice but I’ve turned to reddit this time. So, this girl and I matched on hinge around a month ago and have been on 3 dates since. All the dates have gone really well except no ones made a move yet.
I think this was partly my fault as she’s given some pretty obvious signs e.g. offering me lip balm, mints, inviting me inside for a movie after the date. However I haven’t made a move as I want to get to know her well before taking it a step further and letting that cloud my judgement. We’ve now resorted to a fist bump at the end of each date - I know it’s pathetic. I never used to be like this but my last relationship changed me.
At the end of the 3rd date she asked what my intentions were as she wasn’t sure about everything - she found it really hard to word this. I just said I’d like to get to know her more and then she asked about a 4th date. After thinking on it for a bit I sent her a text saying that maybe it’s best to stick as friends if she’s not sure.
Part of the reason for me cutting it off is because I feel like I’m being slightly used. I’m not sure how common this is on hinge but she hasn’t offered to pay for anything yet. She’s also brought up 2 exes and mentioned she saw one of them at a party recently (just talking apparently).
She’s now come back apologising and said she just wasn’t sure what my intentions are but that’s fine.
I’m unsure what I want from this whole thing, but I want to give things a chance as I haven’t with all the most recent girls I’ve talked to. Am I being used a bit or am I just being far too harsh on the situation? What should I say if you think I should go on a fourth date?

Ages 20 & 25 , Before u read the story about me and this guy when we first met we instantly clicked before we continued to talk more I made it clear to him that I did recently just get out of a relationship that was toxic and wasn’t good for my health so I ensured him that if we were gonna talk flirty and whatnot I don’t want to be in a committed relationship any time soon. I also want to mention that this guy has depression and I do too but that’s not the point. Fast forward to us having normal conversations asking each other the basic conversation starters and whatnot and then with a snap of a finger he’ll turn the tables on me and start saying that I don’t care about him and that I deserve a better guy and that he’s worthless saying I deserve someone who’s normal or saying he’s not important enough for me. he’s always calling himself an idiot and saying he knew I was just like every other bougie goodlooking female that has rejected him. I reassure him everytime because I know it’s just a faze of his depression I get like that to in my own head like that too sometimes but I never ever turn on him out of no where or take all my bottled in feelings out on him. He says those things to me it makes me sad, i’m wondering what am I doing wrong and what can I do to make him not feel this way. It happens almost every day to the point to where I just don’t want to deal with him at all anymore. Last time we talked on the phone I started to get so emotional because he was just blaming me for so much and yelling at me about how people see him so I told him I didn’t want to talk on the phone anymore and he said to me don’t hang up because if you do then idk if i’ll be able to ever talk to you again. But the whole time we were on the phone he was down talking himself and how I don’t need him and whenever I say the word “friends” as in terms of what me & him are he goes nuts. Even though I told him i’m not getting into any relationship no time soon so idk what to do anymore. After everything that happened the last time we talked he just messaged me a few hours ago and said hi and that he misses me and he began talking sexual and saying he wants to love on me and whatnot. He just makes me feel extremely guilty and I don’t like the feeling of guilt when idk what to be guilty of so he’s really just pushing me away and I truly want to run off. Any advice?

I’d appreciate it if a few of you could read this and give me some advice. 30 year old male here.
It’s long, I know. but I just am in dire need of advice/clarity.. from someone not familiar with our situation.
context:
my (ex) girlfriend and I dated for nearly 3 years. I moved from Ohio to florida to live closer to her after doing 4 months of long distance. after living in florida for a year we decided to move to Nebraska (her home state/her hometown). after being in nebraska for over a year, I decided that it just wasn’t for me. not much job opportunity, not much to do. etc. I’m from Columbus, Ohio. a much much bigger city. I told her in October that I was having thoughts of moving back to Ohio and that I thought it would do wonders for our relationship, even though our relationship was already great. she told me she didn’t have much of an urge to move to ohio. from october-february we kind of just went through the motions.. continuing on with our relationship, basically acting like nothing bad was going to happen when my lease was up and it was time to move. she had applied for jobs in columbus but nothing enticing. her reason for not wanting to move was that she enjoyed her job and all of her family (4 brothers and mom/dad) lived in Nebraska.
she had visited my hometown multiple times before and absolutely loved it. she had stated tons of times how amazing it was to her.
february came and I moved back to Ohio.
she pleaded for me to stay in touch with her, to not delete her off social media.. etc. so we did, for the most part up until 3 weeks ago.
our relationship was amazing. we were literal bestfriends. rarely ever got in arguments, had planned out our future together. the dreams and desires we shared etc. truly the love of my life. and I think that’s what hurts the most, i’m not used to clean breakups. my past breakups ended because of me being cheated on… etc.
I thought moving back to Ohio would give me a freshness to life… i’ve struggled with chronic depression for 10 years now. have been on antidepressants every day for 7 years now.
but i’ve never been more lonely in my entire life. and that’s saying something… because many know how much i’ve struggled with life. I feel so lost without her. so many times i’ve been driving country backroads and have fought the urge to shed tears because im so used to having her by my side.
she seems like she’s thriving in life from what ive seen. she has lost 30 pounds and has gotten super involved with fitness. when we last talked though she claimed she was not thriving and was struggling with the breakup too.
my birthday was in april, she didn’t wish me a happy birthday but called me 3 days later and apologized (while crying) for not wishing me a happy birthday. she ended up sending me a care package gift box of stuff.. probably 100 dollars worth of stuff.
last time we spoke was almost 3 weeks ago.
I asked if she had any urge to come visit me. this was her response…
“I’ve been praying on it and I don't feel that visiting Ohio isn’t the right move for me. I will always care about you, but I believe that staying here is what's best for my future. I don't want to risk us going through the pain of parting ways again. I'm truly content with where I am right now and trust that this is where God has me. I will always be your friend and it makes me really sad to hear you’re so lonely. I will continue to pray for you, as I don’t want that for you. I know it's hard, trust me, I never have felt heartbreak like that. I know you weren't asking me to move there, but just to visit. Right now, I'm content and happy with where I am in my faith and journey with Jesus. I feel He's leading me in the right direction. And of course I miss you and cherish our good memories together, but I know our paths are different at the moment. Oh brody lee, tears are filling my eyes. my bestfriend, forever. I’m never far.”
and that was that.
I find myself checking up on her, on social media so much. I know it’s not healthy at all. I just miss her so terribly much. I’ve never felt more alone in my entire life without her.
I guess my question is… how do you deal with missing someone so terribly much? what have you done to cope with this feeling? I just feel so alone and so low.

My father passed in June 2023. I have been severely mentally ill most of my life. My mother (86) and my brother (63) are what I have left. I am M(57).
I have been sober (cocaine) for nine months (woohoo!).
Since changing my living environment and life style change and everyone associated (to my old lifestyle) I am attempting to conquer mental illness without medication (i have been off medications for almost three years). I live alone with my dog (a rescue ~ we have a great positive friendship). We are helping each other get through trauma. I have a counselor (therapist). I see him once per week. We will be increasing to twice a week in July. He is the first person I have ever trusted (besides my dad but not for mental stuff). These "sessions" are helping. I am trying a different approach to mental illness. No meds ~ talk therapy. I am pushing towards group therapy once a week (general issues) and a substance abuse group once a week.
My outward symptoms have been under control for years. My depression is very big.
I believe it is working and that the future is promising. I hope to get a degree in forensic psychology when I feel the time is right. I have been accepted to Franklin University.
Here is one problem I cannot seem to get my head around (my IQ is high):
My mom and my brother seem to have a deep hatred for me. I think I am still trying to get love from these two people. Her hate overrides any love she ever showed. They both show signs of narcissism. That is why I am posting here.
My brother is a successful psychopath who, as an external factor, caused a lot of my problems in childhood and still does to this day.
My mom left me emotionally at a very early age. Cold mother syndrome. She is deep in denial about herself and feels guilty for my brother and his behavior. My brother has my mother completely brain washed into making this my fault.
My dad was my best friend and a normal father. Very successful and healthy. Military (Korea). As said he passed in June 2023.
I live in my mom's rent property (paid for).
Any ideas? I am stable but I want out of the hell that has been my life. I have a path to do this. I am a soldier (a marine). I will never surrender.
My mom calls me four times a day. My brother seems to be waiting to abuse me all the time.
Sometimes I feel I have all the answers. Sometimes I feel very overwhelmed (like now). Can anyone shine some light here?
Thank you!

My best friend just came back from studying abroad and has changed so much i would say she had an insane glow up and im obviously very happy for her that she has gained confidence and seems more comfortable in her own skin now but i feel like shes becoming a pick me and i honestly can’t recognize her. Before she left she was this cute dorky girl who hated guys, relationships and all of that and played video games all day but now all she talks about guys and the guys she met abroad and its really weird because id be happy to listen if she hadnt dated her friends bf while abroad also she mainly had guy friends while she was there and i remember asking her to go to university with me in Europe to which she replied i cant i need to go back to america to be with my boys which i found really weird. And everytime i ask her ab stories while she was in america she talks about how she hates american girls but loves the guys. Also she has just become super judgemental towards women constantly picking on someone’s appearance calling them fat buck toothed etc which she never used to do before but with men she just says hes not that bad looking i honestly dont know what to do i dont feel comfy with her acting this way

She's known him for almost a decade now and even I like the guy. Issue is, she sleeps over at his place occasionally and he's touchy to the point that he falls asleep on top of her or they cuddle.
I refuse to make her pick between me and someone thats been there for her for so long, thats just shitty, but I do want to clarify that it makes me uncomfortable. Gay as he is, to me he is still a guy with a functioning penis.
While I do trust both of them to not make a mistake, frankly, the idea of another guy cuddling and sleeping with my girl is unsettling to me.
She cant be said to be the most stable person and recently had to put her dog down. I am currently abroad due to unavoidable circumstance and, as much as it pains me, cannot be there for her outside of text or call. In a way, part of me fears that bringing this up would make her overthink herself into a pit and spiral. There's been a precedent, though she wasnt dating anyone at the time.
I love her too much to risk that over petty feelings. She is going to sleep over at her gay friend's house and get drunk today. Hence, this post. Any advice?

Here's everything you need to know about PayPal $PYPL. Investment case, innovations, valuations, risks, competition. Everything.
OVERVIEW OF INVESTMENT CASE
Firstly, $PYPL isn't JUST a cheap value play. I truly believe $PYPL has the potential to continue to be the biggest payment processor in the world.
In this thread I'll discuss: - Fastlane - Ads business - Xoom - Braintree - Branded checkout - Venmo - FCF & Buybacks
If 2-3 turn of the above turn out well, then the added value to $PYPL will be huge.
MARGIN ANALYSIS
I'm going to start by looking at one of the core focuses that I'm tracking as part of my $PYPL investment case - margins.
Margins have been getting destroyed over the last 3 years from EBIT margins up at 28.2% down to 13.3% in 2022. This was all because the high margin branded businesses were extremely weak compared to the unbranded and lower margin businesses.
I also attached a graph showing the net and gross margins on a quarterly basis since June '21. We saw a good margin inflection in the quarter ending Dec '23 but then we saw a continued margin contraction again in the most recent quarter.
Management have spoke about this a lot and are laser focused on cost cutting efficiencies and adding simplicity to the business by focusing only on the most profitable segments of the business.
They're not there yet, and this is a clear risk...but I do believe we will start to see a slow change in trend in early 2025 onwards.
FASTLANE
Guest checkout represents about 60% of all checkout transactions so this is a huge TAM. Fastlane is basically a single sign on guest checkout experience which Chriss first introduced during their innovation day back in January.
The aim is to reduce checkout time by 40% and increase conversion rate considerably. Beta testing is showing that they are doing this very well with RETURNING FASTLANE USERS CONVERTING AT ~80%.
For context, guest checkout conversion rates are normally 40%.
If merchants are able to essentially double their conversion rates because of Fastlane, this will have a significant impact on their revenue...and if merchants revenue increases...who benefits? $PYPL
Also this is a branded checkout option meaning much higher margins. Merchants will be willing to pay if the product is as good as early data in beta testing suggests.
Even more importantly, non-PayPal users are opting to use Fastlane at a 40% rate. This appears to be the best checkout experience in the market. 2024 is all about onboarding the best customers before the holiday season and 2025 is all about pricing the product to value.
VENMO
Venmo has so far been a huge disappointment especially considering the strength of the brand, the growth (8% annually), and the affluent customer base.
With $18 BILLION of MONTHLY inflows into Venmo...ONLY 20% OF THAT REMAINS WITHIN VENMO AFTER 10 DAYS.
The 60 million Venmo users see Venmo one way - as a way to send money to friends. And that's it. Alex Chriss and management are fully aware of this.
Venmo is a huge untapped asset. $PYPL have introduced a Venmo debit card and are in the process of trying to get users to use Venmo as more of an alternative bank rather than just a way of sending money to friends. Peer-to-peer payments don't make much money compared to if Venmo were to be used as a bank. In fact, debit card users generate 6x more revenue than peer-to-peer.
$PYPL want Venmo to be used basically as a debit card and alternative bank. To have direct debits going into the company. To tap to pay etc etc.
And this transition is definitely slowly happening...
Venmo debit card user base grew 21% YoY whilst peer-to-peer payments grew 17% meaning more money is gradually staying within the Venmo network. I do believe this will happen but it'll continue to be a slow process simply because there are tons of alternative banks and because Venmo for some time has just been used for the sole purpose of peer-to-peer purposes.
The good news is that the user base is HUGE and ACTIVE. With good incentives to keep money within the network this will gradually grow. Marketing emails are being sent out consistently but for now the incentives need to improve in my opinion.
What does Venmo have to offer over other alternative banks currently? Not much in my opinion. The shift will continue to be very slow unless the value proposition is improved.
Another quick note on the most recent Venmo news around transaction fees for payments of goods and services is increasing to 2.99%. This is good news...though some people don't understand why. Here's why:

1. Previously, fees on Venmo payments for goods and services was 1.9% + 10 cents. This was cheaper than $PYPL branded transaction processing which is 2.99%.
   
2. Therefore this brings the two in line to stop them competing against each other.
   
3. This won't contract Venmo volume because peer-to-peer is still free and is still the highest use case of Venmo by quite a lot. Venmo is not really used for merchants much at all.
   

Nevertheless, this is an untapped goldmine and if $PYPL can execute on this well over the next 2 years, then this is being massively ignored in the $PYPL valuation.
ADS BUSINESS
Now this is very exciting and I think it could be huge for $PYPL. $PYPL hired the Mark Grether who was the leader of the ads business at $UBER who took it to a $1 billion run rate in a pretty short time.
There's no reason $PYPL can't do this and do it even bigger. Here's why:
$PYPL has doubles-sided data. They know where shoppers are shopping and they know who is selling as they have tons of data on both. $PYPL have the ability to connect them and they'll receive a fee every time these ads are converted.
There's very few companies out there that have the amount of double-sided data that $PYPL does. This could be a huge business and a very high margin business.
"About a quarter of the worlds $6 trillion in digital commerce runs through PayPal each year. With nearly 400 million active accounts, and the scale of PayPal's transaction data, PayPal is uniquely positioned to shape a new era of commerce discovery, help merchants acquire new customers, and reengage existing ones." - Mark Grether
Grether is the man to do it as well. He's an absolute veteran in the advertising business. He has been the previous leaders of advertising at $AMZN and at $UBER
XOOM
Xoom is $PYPL's product that allows users to safely, and reliably send money abroad. It's not performed well at all and has shown pretty stagnant growth for a number of years now due to no prioritization from management.
This is all changing. They're using $PYUSD for FEE FREE TRANSFERS. They're becoming strict on the markets they work with. They've redone the interface.
I'm less focused on Xoom, but it's just another potential added catalyst to the investment case. I think management are far more focused elsewhere as well, but at least they are innovating here.
BRAINTREE
Braintree currently boasts around 10% market share and is growing at solid rates (~26% in the quarter). They’ve put a big focus into improving auth rates, uptime, and reliability and have created what Chriss deems to be the best in the market.
The issue with Braintree hasn’t been the product though - it’s been PYPL’s inability to price to value mainly because the merchants haven’t been painted a full picture of what Braintree actually offers on an end-to-end strategic roadmap.
Management are therefore putting a large focus on marketing and painting the full picture of the extremely good product that Braintree is. Merchants are slowly coming aboard as they find out about the offerings.
RISKS
$PYPL isn't a risk free investment by any stretch of the imagination and I think here on FinX it's a pretty even split between bulls and bears.
Bears say:

• The products are poor
• Active customer accounts is declining
• $PYPL is a value trap
• $PYPL has little to no growth
• There's too much competition

I say:

• The products WERE poor. The problem here is that all of the innovations are in extremely early stages aside form Fastlane and Venmo where there is actual data showing improving trends (80% conversion rates and growing debit card users). Of course, this is all early stage data and the risk here is that management has got the public overexcited about the actual potential of these products. It's true management (Alex Chriss - @acce) has done an incredible job at changing the sentiment around $PYPL. It was dire 6 months ago and now there is hope. For those that see his vision like I do, the risk is that we potentially are being too hopeful and acting too early. That's a risk, but I see his vision and I like what he's doing. I think the risk to reward is very strong.
  
• Active accounts are declining yes because branded checkout has been extremely weak compared to competitors. My answer is the same as above. $PYPL management are actively adding AI, password-less checkout experiences, and frictionless checkout. All of this should have happened 2-3 years ago but it didn't. Is it too late? Of course not.
  
• $PYPL is not a value trap. $PYPL is a dirt cheap quality company currently being valued at basically 0% growth because the sentiment around the stock was that bad.
  
• $PYPL is not growing as much as it used to no. But the last year has seen revenue growth creep up towards double digits again. 7.1% growth 8.4% 8.7% 9.4% guidance in the double digits. To value $PYPL at pretty much 0% growth is insane.
  
• Yes there has been growing competition but $PYPL still has the largest customer base in the world, and still is the number 1 player in branded checkout. 1/4 of the world's digital commerce transactions runs through $PYPL. People underestimate just how big $PYPL are. It's crazy.
  

BUYBACKS
There's been questions surrounding whether $PYPL would pay dividends but Chriss said maybe at a later data as the focus is currently all on buybacks of "at least $5 billion" which represents more than 100% of PayPal's FCF.
To me, it's quite clear they'll do way more buybacks than $5 billion. Here's why:
Quite recently, $PYPL announced an offering for a senior unconverted loan note of $1.25 billion. This is NOT because $PYPL are running out of money. They're generated at least $5 billion in FCF annually (Most likely in the mid $6 billion range).
It's also likely not for any acquisitions as Chriss has said they are focused on trimming and efficiency rather than adding any complexities at the moment.
Therefore, the most likely use care of this debt will be to refinance some 2024 maturing debt meaning they won't have to use FCF and existing cash on this. This will leave them will all their FCF and existing cash to fuel buybacks.
This is of course my best guess, but to me it seems pretty likely. All in all, this suggests much greater than $5 billion in buybacks. I hope so.
ANALYSTS
We haven't seen a whole lot of movement in analysts price predictions for $PYPL until recently when Dolev (Mizuho) upgraded $PYPL PT to $90. This is the first of many.
Dolev wasn't too bothered by the $PYPL Fastlane product until recently when he said that:
The 80% checkout conversion for returning customers is a lift of "$1.0-1.5 billion in transaction margin dollar (5-10% upside) over the medium term given the $1.43 trillion of annual e-commerce spend that we believe is addressable by Fastlane."
This PT uplift is mainly centered around Fastlane. Wait until we start to see some success and data around Venmo, ads, Xoom, and Braintree.
OWNERSHIP
Insiders, super-investors, and institutions have been buying up $PYPL consistently.
Paul Tudor Jones recently sold 78% of his $NVDA position and for $57 million worth of $PYPL.
Jim Simon also sold 66% of $NVDA and bought 2.1 million in $PYPL.
Cathie Woods has also been a recent buyer of $PYPL. Now I don't celebrate Cathie owning $PYPL and it doesn't mean much to me, but she's a high profile name and this does get eyeballs on the company that is well needed.
VALUATION
From a valuation perspective, $PYPL is dirt cheap. The company has a 5-yr revenue CAGR of 13.87% and earnings CAGR of 14.4%.
Despite that, it trades at a multiple of 2x EV/Sales and 14.9x non-GAAP forward earnings (vs 6.5x and 32.7x respectively 5 year averages).
Of course, the low multiples suggest the market is worried about the lack of long-term growth but as I've tried to outline in this thread, the amount of growth potential is pretty huge, even if only 2-3 of the innovations actually are successful.
Original Post / Credit: https://x.com/MMMTwealth/status/1798760724271124863?t=5r-arVtCeXxXKpmcos3CMg&s=19

Ok, Time to be honest and admit I am 32 and lonely. All my friends have drifted away after having multiple kids and my best friend of 15 years turned into an incel. Now I'm mostly alone and it sucks. I'd really like to find a friend to connect with or a group to feel welcome in. Gaming has always been how I socialized and I really want to be apart of a team. If you feel the same or are looking for a positive, friendly, slightly goofy and fun gamer pal then why not shoot me a message. As for games so long as we click who cares I can get most games as money isn't an issue. I have a beefy PC, PS5 and Quest 3.
Drop me a DM or message with a bit about yourself. UK PC PS5

I remember vividly, a few years ago, I was at a local coffee shop, sitting with an old friend. We were catching up after years and suddenly, mid-conversation, he turned to me and said, "You are different. You seem more composed…what's changed?"
This was a few months after I had started practicing mindfulness. Curious, I asked my friend what he meant by ‘composed’. He thought for a moment then replied, "You're more in tune with your emotions now. Before, whenever our discussions would lead to something you didn't agree with, you'd get heated and agitated, but now you seem to handle it differently."
That's when it hit me. Without even realizing it, my practice of mindfulness had been influencing my emotional intelligence. I started observing how I was reacting to things, and more often than not, I found myself in control of my emotional responses. I was no longer the puppet of my emotions, but now had the strings in my hand.
Here's the thing, mindfulness trains us to stay in the present and observe non-judgmentally. When applied to emotions, it means acknowledging our feelings as they come and go without letting them overpower us. Being able to identify, understand, and manage our emotions is where emotional intelligence comes in.
Imagine this scenario: my boss drops a ton of work on my desk at 4:45 PM. Old me would've probably been fuming, turning the day into a sour note. The "mindful" me, however, acknowledged the initial twinge of frustration, but then decided to use that energy positively to tackle the work. That change in response is not only beneficial for my well-being but also for my professional relationships.
In essence, mindfulness acts like a pause button, giving us the space to choose how to react. Picture it like the OODA Loop, an acronym for Observe, Orient, Decide, Act. By observing our feelings and orienting ourselves with the situation, we can decide on our actions rather than responding impulsively.
Mindfulness doesn't necessarily change the situations we face but definitely changes how we react to them. And in my book, that's an exponential increase in emotional intelligence!
P.S. By the way, the OODA Loop scenario above is completely made up. It's just a mental model I came up with to make you guys consider mindfulness as a potential superpower. Can you imagine us all, turning into superhero versions of ourselves, waltzing through life's challenges? Now that's an Avengers movie I'd watch!

I'm writing this because I'm beyond frustrated with how some people treat gay men, especially some girls who seem to think we're accessories rather than people. Every day, I encounter comments like "gay people are so cute," "I want a gay best friend," or even worse, "I love watching/reading BL/yaoi."
Let me share a story to illustrate why this is so frustrating.
A few weeks ago, I was at a party, having a good time with friends. Then this girl I'd just met started talking to me. At first, it was nice—she seemed friendly enough. But then, she started saying things like, "OMG, you're so cute! I've always wanted a gay best friend!" I could feel my patience wearing thin. She didn't see me as a person, but as some sort of novelty.
I tried to steer the conversation to something more neutral, but she kept bringing it back to my sexuality. "Do you watch BL? I love yaoi so much!" she gushed. It was clear she didn't care about who I was as an individual. I was just a stereotype to her, an accessory to her aesthetic, someone to fulfill her fantasies about what it means to be gay.
It didn't stop there. Throughout the night, she kept introducing me to her friends, always with the qualifier, "This is my new gay friend!" It was infuriating. I’m a person with my own identity, not just "the gay friend."
By the end of the night, I felt exhausted and dehumanized. It's not just this one incident; it happens all the time. It’s not cute or flattering to be treated like a fashion accessory or a source of entertainment. It's degrading and alienating.
If you're reading this and you find yourself treating gay men like characters in a story rather than real people with their own lives and feelings, please stop. We deserve to be seen and respected for who we are, not reduced to stereotypes or fetishized tropes. Treat us like human beings, because that's exactly what we are.

I was only fifteen years old when I started having constant diarrhea, no matter what I ate. I was always skinny, but in just under two months of going to the bathroom up to eight times a day, my parents noticed the pounds dropping off and forcibly took me to go see my pediatrician. I was 5'2 and 102 pounds before all of it, but at the doctor's I weighed in at 87 pounds. I was sent to the emergency of a Children's Hospital and they admitted me, initially in with the anorexics.
After several tests they diagnosed me with Crohn's disease and I was transferred to the gastroenterology wing. Immediately we were told about Remicade and Imuran. My parents were always somewhat health-nuts, and distrustful of doctors, so they did their own online research. The doctors would try to speak to me on my own and make these drugs seem like miraculous healing injections. "You could eat whatever you want, go out with your friends and not be left out..." etc. One lady ended that talk with "of course, there is a small risk of developing lymphoma, but you know you could eat what you want!". We once saw the pharmaceutical rep for Remicade exit the office of the head of the department, and my parents told me how the doctors get handsomely paid to prescribe certain drugs.
My mom read online that some people could control their symptoms with diets, like the Seignalet diet. So, being fifteen, I decided to go with what my parents thought was best. My Crohn's was very spread at the time, but mainly in the small intestine. At my lowest I dropped to 79 pounds, so in order to get back to a healthy weight, I followed two months on a liquid diet of Modulen and took Entocort pills. Pentasa made me sicker so I stopped that. The Entocort really helped.
I got back to a semi healthy state and cut gluten and dairy from my diet. I had to be careful what I ate and learned my trigger foods. At the age of 18 I went back for a capsule camera test, where they film the inside of your GI tract. There were still ulcers and inflammation. I couldn't be seen at the Children's Hospital anymore due to my age, and fell through the cracks of the system.
For years I never thought about Crohn's, didn't want to think about it as it triggered anxiety and denial and avoidance are my coping mechanisms. I was doing pretty fine, although the list of trigger foods grew larger every year. By 21 I became a vegan, since fish, meat and eggs all became very bad triggers. There are many random triggers too, for example cooked soy sauce (as in a stir fry) is mortal, but uncooked with vegetarian sushi is fine.
At 24 I had a rough patch and decided to seek help. I live in Canada and our healthcare system is A.B.Y.S.M.A.L. I don't have a family doctor, but I managed to get an appointment with a generalist, who referred me to a gastroenterologist. When I got there, she acted so uninterested, kept looking at her watch, and she prescribed me a huge dose of Mezavant, since Entocort isn't covered by public health insurance for adults. Each pill is pretty big, and she told me to take 4 a day. I was doubtful but thought she probably knew what she was doing.
I reacted to it like you'd react to a gastrointestinal virus. Vomited and shat myself dry for two days, dizzy, couldn't keep water down. My dad tried to call the clinic and she was supposedly out of the country, but her assigned nurse said I should take the pills again in a smaller dose "to see what it does". I obviously didn't, and she never tried to contact me again. I later learned that Mezavant has the same active ingredient as Pentasa, which I had told her I had reacted badly to. Eventually my condition improved on its own.
So for years, I avoided the topic of my diagnosis. Shut it out. My boyfriend doesn't like hearing about the symptoms too so it made it easy to keep ignoring. I could go months without it crossing my mind. My diet kept becoming more restricted. In bad phases I manage to eat very little amounts of food, because the less I eat, the less likely I am to react badly.
But about a year ago, I started having a type of pain I never had before, after reacting to something I was used to eating. It felt like a point just left and a bit below my navel. For a few weeks I couldn't lie on my front. If I had more than breakfast and went for a long walk, I would get pain there like stitch, but pretty bad to the point I had to stop if I was hiking, or wait for the bus. That got better around last September, but the stitch on a walk after lunch remained at times.
In February, on a random day at university, that central lower left pain came back with a vengeance. I went on about my life, but it was dull, growing ache as long as I was standing up. It would be better if I sat, and gone if lying down. For about a week, even just the waist of my pants rubbing on my skin there felt painful. I managed to go about my life as always though. It wasn't even linked to diarrhea. However, even if it has gotten better since, a bout of diarrhea can make that pain come, but not as bad as in February.
Went to see another doctor in March, because I have grown tired and hopeless about this issue. I was told the wait time for a consultation with a gastroenterologist is minimum 3 months, but it could be longer. Meanwhile, I am so beyond done. Tired of not being able to eat anything without heavy planning going into it and of feeling left out of social events. Even if I go to a birthday party at a restaurant and can only have a mocktail on the menu, I'm glad to be there and included, but also feel somewhat excluded by this condition. I can no longer drink alcohol either, I can't really have lunch, so I only have a snack bar and a gluten free vegan muffin for lunch usually. I am hungry almost every day, even if I often forget to eat now, but if time has taught me anything, it's that nothing is worth having to sit on the toilet with crampy diarrhea. It's the absolute worst. The thought of surgery is my worst nightmare and I would rather die.
Now at 27, I am 5'5 and weigh 106 pounds, and people, even strangers often comment on my weight and say I need to eat more. I don't really lose weight, I have been like this for about 2-3 years, but my family loves to comment on my bones when they hug me. They're all slightly overweight so maybe their perception of normality is warped though. The biggest I got was 128 pounds when I was 20 and lived abroad, then it decreased and maintained around 106-112 since.
So anyway, here I am, feeling pretty hopeless. I hope I get a callback before the fall. I'm finishing my Masters so as a student I can't afford private care yet. I think I'm at a point now where I am finally ready to explore medication, because I am sick and tired of restricting myself. I've now read all the doom and gloom, but I'd love to know that there actually is hope for someone like me to live a normal life and not always fear everything I put in my mouth that isn't one of my "safe" foods.
Sorry for the long rant.

I’d appreciate it if a few of you could read this and give me some advice. 30 year old male here.
It’s long, I know. but I just am in dire need of advice/clarity.. from someone not familiar with our situation.
context:
my (ex) girlfriend and I dated for nearly 3 years. I moved from Ohio to florida to live closer to her after doing 4 months of long distance. after living in florida for a year we decided to move to Nebraska (her home state/her hometown). after being in nebraska for over a year, I decided that it just wasn’t for me. not much job opportunity, not much to do. etc. I’m from Columbus, Ohio. a much much bigger city. I told her in October that I was having thoughts of moving back to Ohio and that I thought it would do wonders for our relationship, even though our relationship was already great. she told me she didn’t have much of an urge to move to ohio. from october-february we kind of just went through the motions.. continuing on with our relationship, basically acting like nothing bad was going to happen when my lease was up and it was time to move. she had applied for jobs in columbus but nothing enticing. her reason for not wanting to move was that she enjoyed her job and all of her family (4 brothers and mom/dad) lived in Nebraska.
she had visited my hometown multiple times before and absolutely loved it. she had stated tons of times how amazing it was to her.
february came and I moved back to Ohio.
she pleaded for me to stay in touch with her, to not delete her off social media.. etc. so we did, for the most part up until 3 weeks ago.
our relationship was amazing. we were literal bestfriends. rarely ever got in arguments, had planned out our future together. the dreams and desires we shared etc. truly the love of my life. and I think that’s what hurts the most, i’m not used to clean breakups. my past breakups ended because of me being cheated on… etc.
I thought moving back to Ohio would give me a freshness to life… i’ve struggled with chronic depression for 10 years now. have been on antidepressants every day for 7 years now.
but i’ve never been more lonely in my entire life. and that’s saying something… because many know how much i’ve struggled with life. I feel so lost without her. so many times i’ve been driving country backroads and have fought the urge to shed tears because im so used to having her by my side.
she seems like she’s thriving in life from what ive seen. she has lost 30 pounds and has gotten super involved with fitness. when we last talked though she claimed she was not thriving and was struggling with the breakup too.
my birthday was in april, she didn’t wish me a happy birthday but called me 3 days later and apologized (while crying) for not wishing me a happy birthday. she ended up sending me a care package gift box of stuff.. probably 100 dollars worth of stuff.
last time we spoke was almost 3 weeks ago.
I asked if she had any urge to come visit me. this was her response…
“I’ve been praying on it and I don't feel that visiting Ohio isn’t the right move for me. I will always care about you, but I believe that staying here is what's best for my future. I don't want to risk us going through the pain of parting ways again. I'm truly content with where I am right now and trust that this is where God has me. I will always be your friend and it makes me really sad to hear you’re so lonely. I will continue to pray for you, as I don’t want that for you. I know it's hard, trust me, I never have felt heartbreak like that. I know you weren't asking me to move there, but just to visit. Right now, I'm content and happy with where I am in my faith and journey with Jesus. I feel He's leading me in the right direction. And of course I miss you and cherish our good memories together, but I know our paths are different at the moment. Oh brody lee, tears are filling my eyes. my bestfriend, forever. I’m never far.”
and that was that.
I find myself checking up on her, on social media so much. I know it’s not healthy at all. I just miss her so terribly much. I’ve never felt more alone in my entire life without her.
I guess my question is… how do you deal with missing someone so terribly much? what have you done to cope with this feeling? I just feel so alone and so low.

Hi everybody,
I'll do my best to explain my situation but here it goes.
I'm not good at asking for advice since there is always that one ahole who comes along and ridicules!
I have my associates in marketing that has gone u used for a decade. Hard to find a job with just the associates but bachelors isn't in the cards for various reasons.
Recently my kids karate teacher asked me to help her run and manage her social media. My first real gig outside of advertising my own stuff.
What does a weekly schedule look like for a social media manager?
I was thinking of having a weekly.meeting with her to discuss upcoming events and specials, etc. Then impliment the strategy and have a weekly deadline to have campaigns and ads up for her approval.
Does anyone have any advice to this?
What insight can you offer?
Much thanks!