Dear Students, Faculty and Staff,
The humanitarian crisis in Gaza — especially the extraordinary loss of lives and widespread starvation of civilians, including children — is heartbreaking. We join the calls by national and international leaders for a ceasefire that will include an end to military operations, the release of the hostages taken by Hamas on Oct. 7, and a surge of humanitarian aid for Palestinians and all people in Gaza — with the goal of achieving a lasting peace.
As you may be aware, groups of student and non-student protestors set up an unauthorized tent encampment in the Quad on our Seattle campus more than two weeks ago. The encampment involves a small fraction of our 50,000 students and of our 700-acre campus. The space initially did not substantially disrupt the learning, activities and operations of our University. Some of our largest events, including a night market, Engineering Discovery Days and a Meany performance for elementary and high school students from across the city and state, were joyously celebrated on campus. Nonetheless, some of the rhetoric and language used in chants and signs within the Quad and at protests, while protected speech, was and is vile and antisemitic.
I strongly support the right of protected free expression and understand that protest by its very nature is structured to be uncomfortable and bring attention to a cause. Institutions of higher education have been at the center of important social and political movements through the course of history. I also know that this issue is deeply personal to many in our community and, in many cases, is not only a matter of political perspective but of their core identity.
Consistent with our long-standing commitment to dialogue with students during protest actions, we believe that engaging in dialogue is the most productive path to a resolution that can see the encampment voluntarily depart. Indeed, even before the encampment started, we were meeting with a cross section of students who are deeply moved by the humanitarian crisis.
University leaders, including myself, have held multiple, ongoing discussions with representatives of the encampment to find common ground with the expectation that the encampment peacefully and voluntarily disband. We have been consistently clear we will not engage in an academic boycott of Israel or “cut all ties” with Boeing. Both run counter to academic freedom, a core value of the academy. We’ve made clear there is an established Board of Regents process for endowment divestment decisions. We had them meet with a member of the University of Washington Investment Management Company (UWINCO), and we let them know that we have no direct investments in Boeing or weapons manufacturers. We’ve also heard their concerns about support for Palestinian and other Muslim and Middle Eastern students, and offered tangible actions to improve our campus culture and deepen our commitment to their education.
We have engaged sincerely and openly. The representatives of the encampment have presented a series of changing and escalating demands, including most recently demanding the creation of a new department that would have an “anti-Zionist” litmus test for faculty hiring; granting a student group oversight of awarding new, religion-based University scholarships; and a blanket amnesty for all violations of the law and student code, including not solely camping, among other demands. Many of these demands, especially the most recent, are contrary to academic freedom and/or to state or federal law.
This morning our campus community arrived to their classrooms and work spaces to see offensive graffiti across multiple buildings all over campus, some quite clearly both antisemitic and violent, creating an unwelcome and fearful environment for many students, faculty and staff, especially those who are Jewish. Much to my dismay, given the relatively cordial tone of many of our discussions, the representatives also said the new graffiti is an intentional escalation to compel the University to agree to their demands.
While I strongly support free speech and peaceful protest, I also strongly support the rights of all our community members to live, learn and work without fear. I want to thank our Office of Campus Community Safety, UW Facilities and state and local partners for supporting our community despite challenging circumstances, including two very tense counter-protests. But every day the encampment remains, safety concerns escalate for our UW community and for the people in the encampment itself. We again call on members to dismantle the encampment voluntarily for everyone’s safety, end the vandalism to our campus and continue constructive engagement with us on the issues of concern.
I have been a member of this community for nearly forty years. This is my home and my extended family. I have always led through engagement. The situation now is untenable. I’ll reiterate: The University’s response to students’ calls for change will not be based on an encampment — there are many ways for voices to be heard that don’t require tents, violent rhetoric and vandalism. Change will be through constructive engagement on issues that are important and meaningful to our students and broader campus community.
EDIT: Including source link for validation! President Statement

Part 1
Chicago, 2016. Flinn Gerald is doing his best to make it in the city. Born in Selma, Alabama, he has spent his entire life trying to escape the ever tightening grasp of his small town. But alas, he made it out and is adapting to life in the big city. With a big fancy corporate job, an endless supply of friends, an apartment with a stunning view of the lake, and great distance from his family, what more could he need? Well, there is a lot more (or less) that he needs, but of course that is a story for later.
On a typical Tuesday night at a bar, the regulars crowd in. Flinn is late, as usual, as he stayed late at work (again), but on his arrival, the cheers and hugs from all the friends make everyone forget of the regular inconvenience. Conversation ensued, starting with all the boring finance jargon, but as the drinks flowed, so did the conversation, moving away from work and more into life. This is what everyone preferred.
“Another round, anyone?” asked Raheem, enthusiastically. After a murmur of concurrence, he stood up to make his way up to the bar. “Flinn, care to lend a hand?”
Raheem Bartlett was Flinn’s college roommate and the first person he met outside of his hometown. The pair hit it off instantly despite having wildly different backgrounds. Even in their freshman year, the engineer and the finance major would get into all sorts of trouble together, but eventually they leveled out. Six years later, they still have each other’s backs just like day one.
The pair made their way up to the bar and waited to get the bartender's attention. “What's up with you, bro?” asked Raheem. “You’ve been seeming a bit off.”
“Oh, ya know. Work, life, everything kinda happens so fast. Work has been busy as of late, and the hours long.”
Seeming displeased by this answer, Raheem stared back in concern.
“Really, I’m fine… just long hours.”
“Back in school you’d pull back to back all-nighters and then still make it to a morning class. I find it hard to believe that the mighty Flinn would be so setback by ‘long hours’.”
Flinn took a moment to ponder, staring down at the bar covered in various stamps and postcards beneath the epoxy surface. “I guess, ya know, it's not all it was cracked up to be. I guess I had expected more.” Flinn had mostly dropped his accent, but occasionally it would still slip out.
Despite coming from a long line of mill workers (mostly paper) and farm hands who never ventured further than the Dallas county line, Flinn yearned to leave his small town and conquer the world from a young age. Coming from the poorest county in Alabama, his family always squashed his dreams, labeling them as impossible. But Flinn knew better. Or, at least he knew he could do better. Graduating top of his class a year early and winning a full-ride scholarship to Northwestern University, he had proved everyone wrong and set his own path. The path he was told was impossible became his reality.
“More what?”
“Nothing, really. I mean, what more is there? This is what I always wanted, right? The stable job in the city, never having to worry about money. It’s great, and I couldn’t be more grateful, but… something is missing. Doing the same thing day after day staring at a screen, moving clients money around. I… just hoped it would be more fulfilling, especially after all it took to get here.”
Before he could finish his thought, the bartender came up to take their order: another round for the table, plus a round of shots, plus two more shots.
“What am I saying, really?” added Flinn. “I shouldn’t be complaining. Look at where I am now compared to six years ago. So much has changed. My home, friends, even my diet. I just feel a bit off. Like I need something more to do..
“I get it, bro. Adjusting to your new life can be rough. Enjoy it for a minute or two.” Raheem slides a shot in front of Flinn. “Here, take this.”
Tuesday had become fairly consistent to this point for this group of misfits: Raheem and his girlfriend Amy; Jack; Jasper, from Flinn’s firm, and his wife Max; and of course, Flinn. For nearly two years, these six have been meeting at O’Malley’s every Tuesday night for drinks and trivia. Some nights are more wild than others, but Tuesday has become the staple of the week among them.
Drinks flowed pretty regularly and heavy over the next few hours as the clock approached the end of day. Still going round for round on alternating tabs, the useless debates began to heat up.
“You can’t seriously think Wicker Park is the best neighborhood outside the Loop. Y’all need to get out more,” said Flinn.
“Bro it’s obviously Wicker Park,” argued Raheem.” Right on the blue line, getting to O’Hare is insanely easy, plus you can’t find better music in the city. Besides, Wicker Park has Davenport’s.”
“No one ever says Wicker Park,” adds Jack. “Have you ever heard someone say Wicker Park before?”
“Dude, but you can obviously get to O’Hare from anywhere in the city,” said Flinn
“Sure, but beats walking through that dumb Block 37 Center transfer like you and your red line. No transfer is the way to go, plus the blue line gets you right to the center of the loop.”
“So does every other L line as long as ya don’t mind walking a few blocks!”
“You’re both wrong,” adds Max. “Neither matters because Midway is better anyways.”
“Woah!” the whole table murmurs, sharing shocked looks as if she just confessed to a crime. Flinn rolled his eyes at this notion.
“Who flies out of Midway?” asks Raheem.
“What? Less people, cheaper flights, and more space. Why wouldn’t I fly out of Midway?” said Max.
“Wait, wait, that aside,” interrupts Raheem, “can we go back to the fact that Jasper thinks Sheffield is the best neighborhood? I feel like we moved past that too quickly.”
The debate rages on for many more minutes, until Flinn, seemingly out of nowhere, had enough.
“Can y’all just shut the fuck up! Why does it even matter?” Everyone’s glance quickly shot over to Flinn as a deafening silence overtook the table. Everyone pondered how to respond, and couldn’t seem to find an answer. This behavior from Flinn was unexpected, nay, unheard of. Flinn was the most level headed amongst them by far. Not even Raheem, his best friend of six years, had ever seen him get angry, let alone over an inconsequential friendly argument. “I…” Not even Flinn knew what to say next. “I’m going to go home. Long day tomorrow.” Already on his feet, he quickly walked away from the table and out the door.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The walk home was fairly brisk, but Flinn had grown fond of the cold. He tucked his hands into his coat pocket and hunched his shoulders forward, only looking down at the pavement ignoring the mostly asleep but still wide awake city surrounding him. His thoughts ran wild and near out of control. Of course, his intoxication did not help with clarity, but the inner dialogue was deafening. Not even he knew what was bothering him, but he was obviously bothered, deeply. He made a fool of himself in a way he never had before, and right now he felt he did not recognize himself. Surely some sleep will help, right?
He slowly made his way down the steps to the platform, carefully watching each step as to not fall, to wait for his train. He posted up against a pillar and stared off onto the dark, empty tracks. What has gotten into me? He did his best to calm his racing, wasted mind searching for some legibility amongst his thoughts.
Once he finally got home, he slumped down on the couch and scarfed down some week-old sushi he found in the fridge. He turned on some old documentary and was asleep before he knew it.
Suddenly, he was woken up by his phone ringing. It usually does not ring this time of night and was less than thrilled to be woken, so he let it keep ringing. It stopped after a couple of seconds, and he glanced down at the screen:
Mama
(2) missed calls
Dad
(1) missed call
Now concerned, he calls his mom back in a hurry. “Hello?”
“Flinn? Your grandfather, he’s dead.”
Part 2
The wet air engulfed Flinn’s face as he stepped out the airport doors into a warm February day. Six years had passed since he smelled the Alabama air. Even after all this time, it still smells just as he had remembered as if not even a day had passed. The drive to Selma was another ninety minutes, and despite having five days to mentally prepare himself for his arrival, it was not nearly enough time. He had not seen or spoken to anyone from his town, not even family, since he left early that August morning all those years ago. He left everything behind to start his new life. The life so many told him to not start, that he needed to stay. He left anyway and never looked back.
That was, until now. He had little choice in this regard. He knew he would have to make his return someday, but he knew not when nor for what. But today was that day. Flinn and his grandfather (Pops) had always been close. If anyone had been supportive of him, it’d have been Pops, but he was a man of little words. Even when he could talk, he hardly chose to. He was a great listener, and not just because he could not speak. He showed he was engaged and listening no matter what Flinn had to say. At times, he felt Pops was the only one who understood him as if he had been just like him before, but no one would ever talk about his past. All Flinn knew is Pops lost his tongue after a failed lynching.
The familiarity of the scenery zipping past was bittersweet. He had not realized how much he missed the rolling hills and thick forests beneath the unforgiving southern sky. He kept his head pressed against the cool glass of the car window even through the constant bumps in the road. He couldn’t look away. So many memories happened here, and the closer he got, the more plentiful the memories became, and the more potent they were, and the more painful they’d become.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As the dust settled behind him, he stood on the driveway staring at his childhood home still unsure how to process his emotions. It was all so overwhelming. He was thinking everything at once. He took a deep breath, rolled back his shoulders, and swallowed. He reached for the door handle, hesitating slightly, and took a step in. One foot, and then the next.
“Martin!” Flinn smiled as his old friend and childhood dog rushed towards him without hesitation. He knelt down and embraced him as Martin excitedly rustled through his arms seemingly showing more energy than he had in years.
He walked down the hall and around the corner into the living room. There, both drawn to the large television like moths to a flame, he saw his parents sitting beside one another on the couch watching some daytime program with their backs to him. They seemed to pay no notice to the commotion at the front door nor the loud creaking footsteps he took along the old wooden floors. They knew he was there; they just chose to ignore him. He walked into view to greet them. "Mama, dad." His father smiled slightly but caught himself and refrained.
Mama kept a straight face, but seemed to be fighting tears."Howard, help Flinn with his bags, dear."
“No, it's alright, I know where to take them,” said Flinn. “How are y’all?”
“Service is tomorrow at eleven down at the ole First Baptist Church. Make sure to wear something nice.”
“Alright, mama. I’ll... I’ll see you at dinner.”
“Whole family is coming tonight. Dinner is served at...”
“At seven, I got it, just as always.”
“It’s good to see you, kid.” said his dad. “Let me know if you need anything”
He did not expect things to go like that, not that he knew what to expect. He had hoped time would have been more forgiving. Perhaps leaving unannounced in the middle of the night was not the best plan, but at the time he felt as if he had no other choice. Everyone knew he was leaving. That was no secret and had not been for years before any plan had actually been set into motion. No one knew the date or time, except for Pops, of course, but he’d never tell. Of course he wanted everyone to know. He wanted everyone to be proud of him, but it was too big of a risk and commendations were too much to expect. Besides, Mama always had her schemes, and had she known, she would have found a way to stop him.
Not much had changed since he’d been here last. The old wood paneling still lined nearly all the walls, crack in some spots, replaced in others, but all coated by decades of cigarette soot. On the walls were a combination of family portraits from over the years and cheap artwork found at the flea market. Old green furniture, too many house plants to count, and a tacky themed kitchen, it was all still the same.
His childhood bedroom, however, was much different. Hardly even recognizable, what was once his bedroom was now a storage room filled with endless shelves and boxes. He set his things on the lonely cot in the corner, sat down, and took it all in.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Not realizing he had drifted off, Flinn awoke and looked at the clock. 6:55. Convenient. He sat up and brushed his hair down with his hand as he suspected it was sticking up in the usual way. He rubbed his eyes and made his way to the dining room. The whole family was there, probably about twenty people or so, all scattered about throughout the kitchen, dining room, and living room engaged in various conversations. His nana, aunt, and Mama were cooking away putting the final touches on the large meal.
“Well if it isn’t this fucker…” said a familiar voice to his left, laughing. Flinn looked over to see his cousin who’s just a year younger than him.
“DeAndre, how are you?”
“Never thought I’d see you again, even since you left. Thought maybe you ‘ood be dead.”
“Nah,” Flinn laughed. “Still very much alive.”
“I can see dat. Wearin’ your fancy suit and all.”
“Yeah I’ve been doing pretty well. Work has been… good. I have a great job at a finance firm in Chicago. Everything has been… Good. Yeah, good. How about you?”
“Now you ain’t goin’ city on us, are you?”
Flinn laughed. “I think I might already be.”
Just as dinner was finishing up, a line started to form and people found a seat wherever they could, be it at the table, on the couch, near the counter, or outside.
“Flinn!” his dad called out. “I saved ya a seat here at the table, kid.”
Flinn took his seat right next to his dad which positioned him right across from Mama. The table could sit eight, and the seats filled in pretty quickly so he was lucky to get one. Besides his sister, all of the oldest family members took the other four chairs.
The dinner itself was mostly uneventful, except for the food of course which was extraordinary. Flinn had not eaten Mama’s cooking, or anything like it in six years. The southern food in Chicago was alright, but nothing like what you can get down here, and no restaurant is going to have the same quality and taste as a home-cooked meal. By God, he had not realized how much he needed this. It was almost healing, like a part of his soul had been lost and he found it once again. The last week had been incredibly overwhelming, and last Saturday he never foresaw being here now, but he was glad he was, regardless of the looming tension. All the stress from work and life back home in Chicago was now all gone. All he had to worry about was… oh yeah, the family drama. The dreaded interactions, what he had suppressed for so long, that had kept him up at night for years. All those long nights doing homework or anything else beside sleeping. They had not been by choice but rather necessity. He would have slept more if he could, and some of those nights he really needed to, but instead was kept motivated by the pain. The pain of knowing no matter what he did, no matter how successful in life he became, he would never be good enough for his family, good enough for Mama, because he left them.
If there ever was a time to clear his conscience and get everything out of the way, it would be today, or at least over the next couple of days. When else would he have the chance? Not that any of this had been planned, and his therapist would probably advise against it. She did not even know he was here. What would she have to say? Avoiding conflict has always been his choice. He has always been quiet, never been at the center of drama, but some things need to be said. Just, maybe not by him. If he waited long enough, perhaps they would come up on their own. So he decided to wait, but he knew time was limited and he could not wait forever.
“Mama, could you pass the butter?”
Mama just stared back at him. “Get ya own damn buttah, since ya can do everything else on ya own.”
Flinn stands up and reaches for the butter. “I can do everything myself, and I have. I hope you’re proud, Mama.”
“Proud? What do I have to be proud of?”
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe my job, my degree, everything I have been able to do to build a good life for myself.”
“I don hear anything worthy of praise.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, Mama.”
“Oh, so now you’re sorry? You could’ve fooled me. Is that how you felt when you left? Unbelievable.”
“I left because I had no other choice.”
“Oh don go lyin’ to me now. You did have a choice. You had a choice and you chose to leave us. You didn’t say goodbye, and you were just gone in the mornin’.”
“If I had not just left, you would’ve stopped me.”
“Cause you ain’t got no reason to go nowhere.”
“I had plenty of reasons to want to leave, and not because of you. I’ve always had dreams, Mama, ya know that. I’ve always been bigger than just this town.”
“Oh, so now you’re too good for us, city boy? Huh? I don wanna hear no more of it.”
“It wasn’t about that, Mama. Look at all I’ve been able to do.”
“I ain’t see nothin’. You never call and you never visit. How am I supposed to know what you been doin’?”
“I thought you didn’t want me coming around any more?”
“Well, you’ve got that right. Glad to see you still have some brains left.”
“Well excuse me. Maybe it's best if I leave again. Sorry I ain’t make you proud, Mama.” Flinn got up and left the table.
Part 3
Just as the early light began to peak through the blinds, Flinn was woken up by a firm knock at his door. “Flinn, may I come in? It's Uncle Terrence.”
Flinn sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Yep, come in.”
“How are you this morning, kid? Ya know, she’ll never admit it, but ya Mama missed ya.”
“I find it hard to believe.” Deep down Flinn knew it was true, but she was hard as a rock, and arrogant. She would always find a way to be right, even when she knew she was wrong, and she would never let you know she knew she was wrong.
“Well, we’re all proud of you, kid.” Flinn hated when Terrence and everyone called him kid. “Just wish yoo’d come around and see us every once in a while. I know ya busy with all the big city stuff and all.”
“I thought no one wanted anything to do with me any more?”
“At first, maybe, but I miss ya, kid. Ya know who missed ya most of all?”
“Pops?”
“Yes, of course. He always wanted to know about ya, every time I’d come round. He couldn’t call, but always wanted me to.”
“I should have called.”
“I think everyone wanted to call, but as time went on, it became harder and harder to push that button. It was already so hard at first, and only got harder.”
“I thought about everyone a lot, especially at first. Leaving was really hard, and I almost didn’t, but I always wanted more. I didn’t want to spend my whole life in this town, and if I had not left when I did I probably never would have. But it was still hard. I wanted to go home so many times, but I convinced myself no one wanted me here no more or that y’all would’ve said ‘I told ya so’ or sum bullshit. No one wanted me around any more and I had left, so I was stuck on the path I chose. And I’m happy, and I’ve done so much, but it’s never been easy.”
“Pops was a lot like you when he was your age. Set on leaving as quickly as he could. Things were different back then, not that they are any better now, but Hank... my brother… Pops, was just like you.”
“What changed?”
“Well, he never did. Just no one talks about it anymore. After what happened on that day, they blamed his behavior. Said he should’ve played it safe and he’d still have his tongue.”
“No one has ever told me the story.”
“And they won’t. It changed the whole family.”
“But you’ll tell me?”
“Only if you promise not to tell. I don need an earful from ya Mama.”
“I promise.”
“Hank couldn’t be confined to Selma, just like you. He joined the army right out of high school, and after he was done in Lebanon, he didn’t go straight home.”
“Where did he go?”
“Everywhere but here. He used the small amount of money he got from the army and went anywhere that would let him in. Across Europe, parts of Asia, Northern Africa, even parts of South America. Of course, a young black man traveling by himself at the time was challenging, but Hank could hold his own pretty well. He still ran into all sorts of trouble. He spent more nights in jail than he would have liked, but he would have done it all again if he could.”
“What happened when he got back?”
“He was much different, but for the better. He couldn’t wait to get back out there again. He had confidence like I had never seen before. That’s what got him in trouble not too long after.”
“How’d he lose his tongue? I’m guessing that is what changed everything.”
“When he got back, he got involved with a girl, I think her name was Susan. She was the mayor’s daughter. They snuck around for a while. Their relationship was not acceptable, especially to her father. If he found out, Hank would be in a lot of trouble, and of course eventually he did find out. He spent about a month in jail in just awful conditions even for the time. They didn’t have anything to hold him on so eventually they had to let him go. About a week after he got out, he was walking downtown and some guys grabbed him. He took him out to a field and tried to lynch him. Luckily, they failed and he survived, but they took his tongue as a warning. He was never the same after that. All of his confidence was gone, and of course he couldn’t speak no more.”
Flinn did not know how to respond. It all made sense now: why the family so desperately wanted him to stay, why they were so hurt by him leaving, and why they’d feared who he was becoming. They were all traumatized and wanted to protect him. They did not want him to suffer the same fate as Pops.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The funeral itself was fairly uneventful and went nearly as perfectly as expected. The church filled in with hardly any empty seats, tears were shed, and speeches were given. Pops touched the lives of almost everyone he met, and they came to show it. After the service was the reception, and yet again, the food was spectacular. Everyone got along just fine today and there was no more residual drama, at least for now. Today was Pops’ day.
After the reception, the family gathered back at Mama’s house for the reading of the will. Pops did not have many possessions, at least not of monetary value, but what he did have was meaningful in other ways. He was very clear on who he wanted to give off, and handpicked what would be most substantial to each person.
Everyone gathered around much as they did at dinner, and the lawyer began his reading:
I, Hank Gerald, a resident in the City of Selma, County of Dallas, State of Alabama, being of sound mind, not acting under duress or undue influence, and fully understanding the nature and extent of all my property and of this disposition thereof, hereby make, publish, and declare this document to be my Last Will and Testament, and hereby absolutely revoke any and all other wills and amendments previously made by me.
The reading went on for some time as there were many beneficiaries. Flinn began to daydream about what could be left for him. Flinn was not a very sentimental person, so trinkets and heirlooms paid him little interest. Perhaps his car, or maybe money. Something that will be useful to him.
To my dear brother, Terrence, I leave my 1964 Pontiac GTO and all tools and parts associated and necessary with/for the running and upkeep of the vehicle.
The further down the list he went, less was given, but this is to be expected. As the end of the list neared, Flinn began to wonder what would be left for him if anything at all. The will had been in order of age, to this point, so he should be up soon.
To my Granddaughter, Nia,...
Nia? She's younger than me… Flinn thought.
I leave her my grandmother’s locket containing a picture of my Grandfather before he left for the Great War. She looked at it everyday to keep the memory of him alive until he eventually returned to her alive.
How could he skip me? Perhaps I should have called, or never left. Flinn got lost in his own thoughts and barely paid attention to the rest of the will. He and Pops were so close, and he never imagined he would be taken out of the will. But that is my own fault, afterall. I left, and I never even care to call. He died, and I never even said goodbye.
Just as Flinn began to accept the consequences of his actions, they got to the last beneficiary listed in the will:
Finally, to my oldest Grandson, Flinn, who is more and more like me than I ever could have wished to have been, I leave my journal. I hope whenever you need the motivation, you read it to find the meaning you are looking for in life.
Part 4
Flinn sat at his desk unable to focus. It was fairly slow for a Friday, but he still had work to do. After a chaotic weekend back home in Alabama, he was ready to settle back into his monotonous routine. The experience had been healing in some regards, but still left a lot unanswered. What did he mean by finding the meaning in life? Flinn wondered as he flipped through the endless pages of Pops’ journal, all filled with endless recounts, drawings, symbols, and pictures from his travels, just as he had since Monday. The journal consumed his whole attention, and nothing else seemed important enough to focus on. He had even ditched his friends all week which he never does.
He is supposed to meet Raheem for drinks tonight, but now he is wondering if he even wants to go. There is just too much in his head right now. He just wants to be alone. 12:37. The clock is moving too slowly. Flinn clears his calendar for the rest of the day and decides to go home.
At home, he still finds himself flipping through the pages of the journal, not even reading them but just looking at them. Again and again, he flips through until he has enough. He drops the journal on his lap and stares off into the distance at the gorgeous view of Lake Michigan. The endless city and skyline take up most of the horizon until it just stops, cut off by the endless ocean-like lake. He stares at it for quite a while until something catches his eye. He has seen this before. Well, of course he has. He lives here and this is his view everyday. But he knows he has seen it somewhere else.
He picks the journal back up and flips through in a hurry. There it is. He holds the journal up to the window to show a matching two-page drawing of this exact view. Well, not exact. It is a slightly different angle, but it was close enough. Pops was here. He would have loved visiting. I should have invited him. This made Flinn sad, and he threw the journal down on the table in frustration.
Just then, that is when he noticed it. There was a page sticking out from the journal, but it was not like the rest. The page was white and pristine, aside from a few wrinkles, as if it was new, whereas the rest of the journal showed its age. He rushed over to grab it. He opened it to find a letter, addressed to him:
Grandson, When you left, I knew that you would accomplish everything you set out to do. I also knew, however, you would find yourself lost someday, returning home for answers. I was hoping I’d be able to give you those answers myself, but as time goes on that seems less likely. I too found myself lost, and I knew not why. I had gone and seen the world, and it changed me, but I was still not fulfilled. I came home still looking for the answers, and it took a while, but eventually I did find them.
Through this journal, I hope to share my findings so that you too, when you are lost, find the answers you seek. Whenever you are ready, follow my journey and the clues I have left for you. Go out and see the world, just as I did. You will find that what you want from life is less than what you expect.
I hope the experiences you have are less harsh than my own, but still be careful. The world has changed a lot, but still not enough. But don’t skip ahead for the meaning may be lost. Take only one step at a time, and when it comes time to take the next step, it will reveal itself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Seven o’clock rolls around and Flinn walks into the bar to meet Raheem. He hasn’t seen Raheem, or anyone else from the group, since last Tuesday when he had his outburst. He begins by telling the story of the events of this last weekend, but leaves out the parts about Pops’ past.
"Pops left me a hidden letter.”
“What do you mean?” asked Raheem.
“Like in his journal, I found a hidden letter. It was addressed to me.”
“What did it say, bro?”
“He says he was a lot like me when he was my age. He wants me to go where he went and learn what he did.”
“In Alabama?”
“No, everywhere but there. He wants me to start in Western Europe and follow his clues around the world.”
“He traveled?”
“A lot, apparently. I never knew. He was in the army, and after he got out, he traveled… everywhere, basically.”
“Why did no one tell you?”
“They wanted to keep me safe, I guess.
"They wanted to keep the whole family safe after what happened to him.”
“What do you mean, bro. What happened?”
“I can’t talk about it, but it doesn’t matter now anyways. I’m living a different life now.” Flinn never shared much about his past or his family with anyone, not even Raheem. It has always been a mystery. This was the most he had ever shared with him.
“Well, are you going to go?”
“No, I can’t. I have work. It took too much to get here. I can’t just give it away.”
“It’ll still be here when you get back, bro.”
“If only it was that simple.”
“It can be. You have money saved up. Chicago isn’t going anywhere. We’re not going anywhere. Plus, you’ve always talked about traveling more. Why don’t you take some time to do it.”
“I suppose, but I like my life here.”
“If you don’t do it now, when will you? You’ve taken a leap before, why not take another one. You’re smart, you’ll land on your feet, bro. Besides, your grandfather thought it was important enough to not only give you his journal, but hide you a letter for you to find when you needed it most. Maybe now is when you needed it most. You’re way too stressed at work anyways, and I can tell you’ve been off for a while now. Perhaps some change could give you what you need.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On Monday morning, when Flinn gets to work, he walked straight to his boss's office. He turned in his letter of resignation.
Two weeks later, he took the red line to the blue line to O’Hare. Journal in hand, he boarded a flight to Dublin.

The trial of Lucy Letby ran for 10 months from October 2022 through verdicts rendered in August 2023. lucyletby is NOT a true crime subreddit. From the first days of the trial, this subreddit has followed the evidence presented in court via public reporting. Verdicts were rendered in August 2023, which this subreddit acknowledges to be true and accurate, and discussion here takes place within that framework.
The verdicts in Lucy Letby's trial have already been ruled safe by an initial appeal judge, and a ruling from three senior judges of the full court of appeal is expected any day. A public meeting for the Thirlwall Inquiry is to be held tomorrow. This subreddit will cover and discuss any and all news that emerges from these proceedings.
The evidence in Lucy Letby's trial is vast and complicated. Here are some recommended starting points
The specific verdicts recorded in August 2023
The Trial of Lucy Letby podcast on Spotify
The Trial of Lucy Letby podcast on Apple Podcasts
This subreddit has compiled all of the available daily reporting, and our discussions thereof, in our subreddit wiki. A chart of the babies with birthdate, gestational age, birth weights, charge, verdict, and method/alleged method is also found there.
In UK trials, after closing speeches conclude, the presiding judge sums up the evidence given by both sides and presents it before the jury. His summary took five days to present, and can be found here:
Day 1, July 3 Children A-C
Day 2, July 4 Children D-G
Day 3, July 5 Children H-J
Day 4, July 6 Children K-P
Day 5, July 10 Child Q
The attempted murder charge related to Child K is scheduled to begin next month. We are not permitting new discussion of previously presented evidence related to this charge at this time, in line with UK reporting restrictions and contempt of court rules. resources do exist at the links above. When the retrial begins, we shall do our best to consider the trial afresh, without making comparison to the first trial until after its conclusion.
Much criticism has been lodged against Subreddit Rule 3 and its related removal reason. The language is based in the jury's judicial role as the Trier of Fact. This is a consistent role across jury trials in both the UK and the US. "In law, a trier of fact or finder of fact is a person or group who determines disputed issues of fact in a legal proceeding (usually a trial) and how relevant) they are to deciding its outcome."
Users from outside the UK would do well to familiarize themselves with the legal structure of a UK criminal trial (including what a majority verdict is and why they are normal), and the culture of the NHS, which has marked differences from privatized health care and at-will employment normal in the US.
We do not permit posts or discussions that run contrary to evidence and outcomes legally accepted, because such sources have not survived cross examination the way that admitted evidence has. This trial has attracted much misinformation, and that is where we choose to draw the line.
Our decision to not platform certain articles or websites is an informed one, made with the experience and knowledge of the information within. Here I will quote longtime subreddit member u/SleepyJoe-ws, who expressed this well:

UK reporting restrictions aside, it is this sentiment that riles up so many of us. We have spent (far, far too many) hours poring over each and every detail of the case and trial reported in the press - some of us for years. The accounts of the parents and the pathology/ radiological evidence of deliberate harm to these defenceless little babies is absolutely gut-wrenching and the stuff of nightmares. We also have the utmost respect for the jury who no doubt will be very traumatised after suffering through hundreds and hundreds of hours of distressing testimony and evidence over a trial that lasted the better part of a year. It seems the jury took their time to carefully consider each and every charge on its own merit, finding guilty where they believed it was due, not guilty when they believed the case was not proved and not returning verdicts when they couldn't decide. I cannot imagine the impact that this long, painstaking trial has had on the parents of the babies who died, those who have children who survived but were permanently maimed, the siblings who survived (think the surviving triplet sibling of O and P!!!), the jury, prosecution, the police, and even the defence team. In addition, Letby's conduct on the stand, as portrayed via the reading of court transcripts by CS2CR (now temporarily removed) was infuriating, puerile and antagonistic.
The saga of Lucy Letby has been one of the most horrifying in modern history that I have ever encountered. I am a medical specialist and the thought that someone could commit such atrocities under our noses is terrifying. I have worked with countless young nurses just like Lucy. But yet, it has happened before that healthcare practitioners have committed the worst of the worst - murder of their vulnerable patients. And it WILL happen again. To think otherwise is simply naive.
Lucy Letby was afforded a top barrister and legal team via the British public purse for her defence, as are all accused. All accused persons are entitled to a barrister and legal team of equal qualification and reputation to that of the prosecution. Letby got this. She is also entitled to raise an appeal, which she is doing. For now, we respect the work of police, prosecution, former jury and the current court system. Once reporting restrictions are lifted, we can discuss any compelling new evidence introduced. But please, any journalist relying on Richard Gill and Sarrita Adams needs to have a good, hard look at themselves. Hence the resistance and animosity you have met in this sub.
The internet is a vast, wild west. If you wish to discuss the article further, go to some place whose mods do not have the same respect and consideration for the parents, deceased and surviving infant victims, the police, prosecution and jury. Go to some place that doesn't have the same respect for the rule of law. But that place is not here.

We are happy you have found this subreddit, and look forward to your participation with the understanding of this post.
Edited to add a link about the pending application to appeal, and a clarifying phrase related to the retrial

NHS Management (ICG Boards) Bill

A
BILL
TO
Amend Integrated Commissioning Group Boards to prioritise expert led effectiveness in NHS management, and for connected purposes.
BE IT ENACTED by the King’s Most Excellent Majesty, by and with the advice and consent of the Lords Temporal, and Commons, in this present Parliament, assembled, and by the authority of the same, as follows —
Section 1: Amendments
(1) The National Health Service and General Practice Act 2023 is amended as follows.
(2) The following provisions are repealed —

(a) subsection 4(a) of Section 4: Establishment of Integrated Commissioning Groups; and

(3) In subsection 4 of Section 4: Establishment of Integrated Commissioning Groups, insert and reorder accordingly —

(a) clinical managers, within the relevant area appointed on five year terms by the regional authority within that area; and
(b) general managers within the relevant area appointed on five year terms by the regional authority within that area; and
(c) operational managers within the relevant area appointed on five year terms by the regional authority within that area; and

(4) Subsection (5) of Section 4: Establishment of Integrated Commissioning Groups; is amended as follow to read —

(5) NHS England may generally regulate the character, conduct and duties of members of Integrated Commissioning Group boards.

(4) Subsection (6) of Section 4: Establishment of Integrated Commissioning Groups; is amended as follow to read —

(6) NHS England must regulate for a minimum number of members upon boards of Integrated Commissioning Groups, and regulate as necessary to weight the votes of board members to be equal in distribution between clinical, general, and operational managers, and general practitioner cooperative members, and local authority members.

Section 2: Extent, Commencement, and Short Title
(1) This Act extends to England.
(2) The provisions of this Act shall come into force the day this Act is passed, and has received Royal Assent.
(3) This Act may be cited as the ‘NHS Management (ICG Boards) Act’.
This Bill was submitted by u/Waffel-lol Leader of His Majesty’s Official Opposition, on behalf of the 39th Official Opposition. With contributions from u/phonexia2 Shadow Chief Secretary to the Treasury.
Referenced Legislation:
National Health Service and General Practice Act 2023
Opening Speech:
Deputy Speaker,
We are again proposing this Bill as we believe it is important that our National Health Service is effective and efficient in its management. Last term we proposed this Bill, it saw zero debate by those who subsequently voted against it which was a shame as to the public. Nonetheless, in our commitment to our principles, platform, voters and determination to the matter, it is the position of the Liberal Democrats that we cannot effectively run a health service that does not recognise and place trust in expertise and experience. This is a fundamental principle that ought to shape the foundation of our National Health Service management, the unwavering commitment to expertise. In the realm of healthcare, expertise is not merely a desirable trait; it is the bedrock upon which the well-being of our citizens hinges and the quality of projects and care are delivered. The value of expertise and experience in healthcare is not just about knowledge; it is about the ability to apply that knowledge with precision, compassion, and a deep sense of responsibility dedicated throughout their career.
However, something that the Liberal Democrats and other parties took issue with was when the creation of Integrated Commissioning Group boards decided to place politics over a well-run health service. Section 4 of the Act lacked the inclusion of key positions that play an integral role in regional clinical practice and operations for ICGs to actually be involved and effectively coordinated, notably that of the management positions. Instead opting to have arbitrary elected members driven by ideological convictions. What this Bill does is amend the original Act to prioritise expertise, experience and professionalism in the appointment of these key decision makers to the board. Their crucial positions will allow for a more tailored and coordinated approach to projects, whereby valuable insight, influence and ideas can be shared and developed for effective implementation and integration of health services.
This debate shall end on the 18th of May at 10pm BST

An open letter to Benedictine College and Harrison Butker
I first came across the Harrison Butker’s 2025 commencement speech at Benedictine College on Twitter. It was a short snippet of the speech and I was in disbelief of what I heard. Intrigued, I went to YouTube to find a recording of the whole speech before drawing further conclusions. Now, I am nearly beyond words.
I grew up in the Catholic Church, attended a Catholic high school, and do still consider myself to be Catholic, although not without my own qualms with the church. However, this is not about that. I am also a more recent college graduate. I graduated from a large public university 5 years ago and am looking forward to obtaining my graduate degree next year, both degrees I have worked incredibly hard for and am immensely proud of. I don’t remember my own commencement speech, but if it was anything like this, I am glad I don’t- I loved my undergraduate experience and will be proud to have my diploma framed and hanging one day. Harrison Butker’s speech is condescending, out of touch, and against the very values of your school. You both, Benedictine College and Harrison Butker, owe these graduating students an apology.
As a proudly Catholic college, I do not hold issue you or your choice in speaker with promoting Catholicism and the beliefs of the Catholic Church, even in regard to politics; while I may not agree, that is your choice to do so and one that underlies the foundation of your school.
The class of 2025, as with many recent graduates and current students, have had to work through a unique set of hardships as a whole, beyond the personal hardships we all face. Mr. Butker is not a recent graduate, nor is he working directly with a school or university. College is a change for everyone from high school, with the course load, schedule, and independence, but beyond the nervousness and uncertainty that comes with this new phase, students are able to rely on the fact that since its inception, the college experience has been relatively stable, until the COVID-19 pandemic. Students, and faculty, were forced to rapidly adapt to a situation that we knew very little about and had no history to guide us. To minimize that, say that “it is not unique,” especially as someone who was not experiencing it from an educational aspect, is disrespectful to students and faculty, regardless of beliefs on the issue. Pandemics are not new, nor are controversial policies, but what these students faced, was new. I know of no other time during our history, where thousands of students were nearly overnight told to immediately leave their housing and worry about their finances and shelter as not everyone has the means to find new housing or go back to their parents, have food outside of the dinings halls, or access to a computer and internet to complete their coursework where they had planned on attending in person or using university resources, when these things are apart of what students pay thousands of dollars for or take loans to afford as part of their college expenses. Whether or not you support these policies and changes, that does not lessen the unique hardships faced or make a student wrong for adhering to them when failure to do so could result in greater consequences. If there is another time where this has happened, I am happy to be referred so that I can learn. It is one thing to say that the feelings of uncertainty and anxiety around new policies and adapting to them are not unique, but another to say that the challenges these students faced as a result of policy is not unique, it is disrespectful, condescending, and completely out of place as someone who did not experience it.
Beyond this, it is even more disrespectful to diminish the accomplishments of particularly the female graduates of your university by allowing your speaker to advocate forgoing using their degree and instead, choose being a wife and mother. To Benedictine College, if this is what your school advocates, then why charge tuition to your female students? How will they pay for it or pay off their loans for it? Do you expect your female graduates to marry a man who will pay off their debts? What happens if they don’t or if they choose a vocation in religious life, are their debts forgiven? To take it a step further, why admit female students at all if their degree is not meant to be used? A yearly tuition of $35,000 seems a greedy ask to attain what becomes a useless degree. Maybe this is not something you support, but I have yet to see any statement indicating dissent with this position. The Benedictine sisterhood and St. Scholastica, its founder, take pride in education and she herself do not choose the vocation of marriage. How would St. Scholastica be able to attend your college when she found her vocation to be in the religious life? To Harrison Butker, how dare you? I am happy for you and your family that your wife can be a homemaker if that’s what she wants to do, but that is completely out of touch for what nearly all of these students will face as they graduate. Your family can comfortably live on just your salary of over $4 million per year, but you are a minority in this situation. You speak of not allowing cost of living to prohibiting where you live, but with your salary, I’m sure there are few areas you cannot find suitable housing and access to food. Is one supposed to choose to live in circumstances where they do not have a stable shelter in favor of a more traditional priest? Earlier in your speech you mention “accepting your lane and staying in it,” I believe you should have taken your own advice, because your lane is far wealthier than mine and likely all of the graduates you are speaking to. Most families will need two salaries to live in even a fraction of the comfort you live and even then, may not be comfortable. From what I understand, you went to GT on a scholarship, another minority, factor in student loans, and the comfort fraction becomes even smaller. Should a family live in a constant state of worry about money so that a woman can be a homemaker? You spoke of charity and the platform God has given you, but I do not see you using your wealth for charitable acts to support the lifestyle you advocate in these graduates. You decide to speak for women and presume they are most excited at the prospect of marriage and children when you are speaking to congratulate them on a major accomplishment that has little to do with their future as a wife or mother. Can a woman not find fulfillment and a calling as a valuable member of the workforce and a wife and mother. As a woman who anticipates graduating from medical school in one year, is being a doctor not part of God’s plan for me? As I understand it, my vocation, is not between being a wife and mother or being a doctor, but of the calling to serve as a married, single, or religious person. You make it seem as though I cannot be both a doctor and family woman one day. You make remarks about controlling how and when children are conceived. You condemn IVF and surrogacy when a large portion of woman and men in this country struggle with infertility or health conditions making a pregnancy incredibly dangerous. If a woman cannot naturally have a child then is she not to be a mother? Do you also condemn adoption as it a choice and controlled method of becoming a parent? Is it only if a woman is unable to conceive naturally that it is acceptable to work rather than be a homemaker? I have always been taught in my experience with the Catholic Church to welcome children into your life whenever they come about, not as a barrier to being a working mom. You have laid out the options as black or white, mother or worker, when I believe the advice is to be open to and welcome God’s plan for you in both areas of your life. Not only do you advocate for the females graduates to forgo the workforce when this is an unrealistic path for most, but in doing so, you add extra pressure to the male graduates to provide in an unrealistic way. At what cost do men take higher paying jobs they are unhappy in so that their wives can be homemakers? You have worked hard to get to where you are, say you are doing something you love, and are able to show the fruits of that labor, should these graduates not show all of the knowledge and skills they have gained through earning their degree?
To Harrison Butker, I, too, am Catholic. I believe we also are similar in that we question right from wrong and do not just blindly accept the things that are fed to us. You say that our priests and bishops are anointed by God, but quickly question that anointing. I now question you, in who you are to question who has been anointed by God. You point out it is your duty as a father to lead your son. In our faith, we call our priests Father, but you call us to question and right them, should they not lead us? Should we not follow the quote you use of trusting our priests to translate the teachings of the Bible for us? Does your son question you and what is your response? You call for priests and bishops to be righted but also to stay in our lane. I do not mean to support the actions of our church leaders either way, but as an individual am not following what you ask of these graduates.
To Harrison Butker, you say you speak from experience, but it seems your experiences are vastly different than most of the graduates you speak to. Your statements contradict one another, in questioning our church leaders, staying in our lane, and even speaking of your wife as someone who converted to Catholicism but later question being with someone of a different faith, not allowing for change. As I have stated before, it is one thing to speak of shared feelings, but another to speak of a shared experience. You give advice in black or white rather than ideas for consideration and reflection. Listening to your commencement speech, I can’t imagine I would have found excitement for the future and wisdom as I start to move forward on my own. Had this been my speech to give, I couldn’t speak to a lot of the challenges these students faced, but can empathize with the fears of stepping out of the student life and uncertainty about my future. I could speak to how being able to adapt to challenges, facing hardship in my own way has made me strong and able to persevere and that they too have grown to be stronger and able to persevere too, even if they are not confident. I could speak to how money is not always the most important thing in life, your church, your family, your community are all things to reflect on when making decisions about the future. But, this was not my speech, it was yours. My ideas may not be right, maybe it has more “fluff” than yours, but they do not tell me the right or wrong way to live my life, as that is between me and God.
To Benedictine College, much of this is address to Harrison Butker. However, this is the person you chose and supported in giving a commencement speech. What is address to him, is also a reflection of what you support and believe, and the message you hope to send your graduates off with. I am not one of your graduates, happy to say I am not with this speech, but at least for me, this is the representation I have of your school.
To Benedictine College and Harrison Butker, you both owe the graduates an apology for these disrespectful and confusing sentiments as they enter a new and stressful chapter of their lives.
To the Benedictine College class of 2025, congratulations!

Background: I'm a single Mom with an almost 9 year old son. He's currently finishing up second grade in our local public school and I'm torn between staying in public school for third grade, which is a different building with only 3rd and 4th grade in it, or going back to his private school which he attended for kindergarten and first grade. My son has an IEP due to his Autism, but is considered high functioning in comparison to others.
My son did an assessment through is previous private school which is a school designed for special needs children on the spectrum, and was officially accepted today. The Pros of this school is that he's already been there previously and knows the layout and what's expected. The classroom he would be in would have the same children as before, with the exception of maybe 2-ish kids that had left the school the same time we did. The classroom is a max of 16 children on the spectrum/ learning challenges, but does have two intervention specialists. The cons would be that the scholarship doesn't cover the full amount and I would be required to pay $2,200 for the school year, which as a single Mom in nursing school is a lot for me to be able to do each month, if they even accept payment plans. His Dad wouldn't be helping foot the cost (he already told me no). The school also requires uniforms which is both a pro and a con. I found that uniforms seem to be easier to deal with than everyday clothing, but the shirts alone are like $30 each since it has to come from a particular store and needs to be engraved with the school's name. There's no busing available so I would be required to drive him to school which is about 15 minutes away. The district would reimburse me $500 at the end of the school year since they don't offer transportation to the school since it's out of district.
As far as the public school goes, I live in a top 10 school district in my area. The Pros is that he would be going to a different building that's actually closer to home (less than 8 minutes away). The classroom size is larger than the private school with about 24 kids a class, but luckily he would have a second teacher in the class that's an intervention specialist. He would still get his speech therapy, be pulled into smaller groups during some activities, have the opportunity to go for a walk in the hallway if he needed a moment, etc. Pros here is that he would be in a mainstream classroom, which he's done well with, but I'll be honest, these public school kids have been mean this year. They've told my son that he isn't stylish (whatever that means to a bunch of 8 year olds), that he's weird, and has had some classroom disputes with two boys that he used to be friends with at the beginning of the school year which he isn't anymore. Along with that, one of the girls in his classroom has been an issue all year which i had brought up numerous times so I don't think they'll be in the same class next year (she literally hit him in the face with her lunch box).
The school recommended him stay in the district since his biggest issue is socialization and he would have a better opportunity to learn to better interact with people of all backgrounds instead of just children on the spectrum, which i agree, but I'm also aware that with the scholarship, the cost comes out of the district's budget so I could understand them trying to sway me one way so they don't lose the $40k.
The private school is also not in session 34 days out of the school year which is a bit more than the public school at 26. I'm only somewhat concerned by this because I'm his main caregiver and would struggle to find childcare on the days the private school isn't in session since they don't have any programs. They do have aftercare which is $10 an hour in the gym. The public school has a YMCA program, but we wouldn't be doing it again next year since we didn't have a great experience. The intermediate school has after school clubs, but another childcare center would be an option as long as i sign up early. The $10 hr charge is more expensive than the daycare center would be.

i'm class of 2025, about to go to go into the summer before senior year, and i haven't really been able to gather any advice from any of my friends going into college. what do you wish you did differently? any regrets? anything you are glad you did? i'd love to hear all of it!! and i mean LITERALLY all of it-- RANT about what you regret!!! i want to major in chemistry at UFlorida!
i also wish to know where to go from here! here are my (pretty average) stats so far:

• current uw gpa: 3.8
• current w gpa: 5.3 (around 4.4 for non floridians, top 22% in school)
• 16 college credit classes by graduation-- 1 aice, 10 dual enrollment, 8 aps
• 10 honors classes
• sat 1330 (retaking in june, aiming for 1400-1450)
• NHS, beta club, amnesty international secretary 1yr and president 1 year, foreign service association secretary 1 year, animal welfare club leadership 1 year
• no awards
• volunteering at hospital for this summer, will get me >150 hours of service most likely
• >300 hours of paid work
• vietnamese first gen, none of my parents went to college here
• single mother, low income
• full bright futures scholarship (100% of undergraduate tuition covered by the state)

Edit: If you are going to comment on the length of this post, please don't. This is not a simple snark but rather an actual critical think piece about feminism and Taylor Swift.

Introduction

Pertaining to Taylor Swift, "Female Rage" has deviated from its intended meaning after Swift debuted a new performance of The Tortured Poets Department during the Eras Tour. Now, according to Swift's use of the phrase, female rage is interpreted as public backlash against Swift's dating choices rather than as a response to the broader injustices against women and women's rights. This post examines Taylor Swift's flawed feminism, philanthropy, branding, and the controversial trademark petition for the phrase "Female Rage: The Musical". Swift's background as an entertainer, indeterminate politics, and alignment with capitalism over feminism pervades her legacy, again threatening her public tolerance as not just an individual but as a brand.

Once Upon a Female Rage...

If you were cognizant in the early 2010's, you've heard countless jabs at Taylor Swift in the media. Magazines, radio, or online. Music critics did not take her seriously as a songwriter; parents put a woman on an unrealistic pedestal as the ideal role model for their children; she dated too much and used men as lyrical fodder. No matter the story, it inevitably spread, conjoined with everyone's respective opinions, and you'd be left to wonder, "Why does everyone hate this girl so much?"
Taylor's target demographic has always been young or adolescent girls, more so when Swift herself was one. She made music that spoke to the awkward misfit, cultivating a para-social relationship with fans on MySpace, then later twitter, Instagram, and YouTube, where Taylor posted relatable vlogs showcasing the life of a homegrown American girl. Taylor had a delayed public "growing up" and, compared to her female pop contemporaries, Swift never "gratuitously sexualized her image and seems pathologically averse to controversy" (and, apparently, never even had a sip of alcohol until she turned 21). She was more than happy to spin this narrative to allude to an inherent moral superiority above other women in the industry (Better Than Revenge, heard of it?), engaging in the very slut-shaming that she herself endured (the Madonna and Whore archetypes). The victim complex arose with the need to prove Taylor as a different type of pop girl. Based upon her holy and clean image, Swift had been dubbed "a feminist's nightmare", and that "[To Swift] other girls are obstacles; undeserving enemies who steal Taylor’s soulmates with their bewitching good looks and sexual availability." Feminism and Tennessee-Christian country values don't exactly mix, it seems.
Years later, Swift befriended Lena Dunham and thus experienced white feminism osmosis, where Dunham taught Swift that real feminists defend rapists, makes insensitive jokes about rape and abortion, and prioritize all-white casts. Swift then declared herself a feminist in 2014, saying,

"Becoming friends with Lena – without her preaching to me, but just seeing why she believes what she believes, why she says what she says, why she stands for what she stands for – has made me realize that I’ve been taking a feminist stance without actually saying so."

I suppose the male-centric songwriting subject that permeates Swift's discography contained covert feminism and that we just didn't see that. Perhaps, the "Bad Blood" song and music video were written only in jest and not about poor Katy Perry, for Swift, as a feminist, would "never make it a girl fight" or tear other women down (though all Katy did was date your terrible ex-boyfriend and allegedly steal three backup dancers from your tour). In 2013, Swift said, in response to Tina Fey and Amy Poehler's joke towards her serial dating, "There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women."
There was that time in 2015 Taylor said that Nicki Minaj was "invited to any stage [she is] on" (as if Taylor expects to have access to every stage, award, and platform that Nicki might not otherwise have as a black female artist...yikes!) in response to Nicki's criticism of the white + thin VMA nominations. Later, Nicki responded with confusion, as Swift continued, "It’s unlike you to pit women against each other. Maybe one of the men took your slot..". Of course, this 'beef' was 'squashed' when Nicki performed with Taylor at the VMAs, with Nicki quite literally only having 38 seconds of stage time without Taylor. Maybe all that parading around with a legion of famous white women - similar to the way Taylor might've done with her numerous 1989-era handbags - was in fact a stance against gender inequality, and that this display of "girl power" should be enough to constitute Swift as a feminist icon.
Even while Swift says that Dunham informed her feminist outlook, she dances around the exact contents of those beliefs: "what she believes, what she says, what she stands for" is not exactly insightful towards what beliefs Swift might have inherited. Taylor never broaches women's rights topics such femicide, FGM, forced pregnancy & marriage, sex trafficking, women in slavery, women's financial and political oppression, women's educational rights, women's health, or women's autonomy, so we can assume she only gives a fuck about "girls supporting girls" (whatever that fucking means).
Despite some questionable (and sometimes vindictive) behavior, Taylor as a young woman did not deserve every media lashing that she received. We cannot deny that most headlines and criticisms perpetuated a misogynistic rhetoric which has plagued Swift for a majority of her career. Acknowledging events such as the development of her ED, her sexual assault trial, "Famous" lyric and MV depiction of Taylor, and the explicit Twitter deepfakes, for example, as both disgusting and unfortunate things that happened to a young woman in Hollywood does not negate the fact that Taylor is mostly a performative feminist.

Get Your Fucking Ass Up and Be a Philanthropist, It Seems Like Nobody Wants to Be a Philanthropist These Days

In 2013, Taylor Swift cut the ribbon at the grand opening of the Taylor Swift Education Center at the Country Music Hall of Fame in Nashville, Tennessee. The donation amount - $4 million - was the largest individual artist gift ever donated to the Country Music Hall of Fame, which is, of course, mentioned on Swift's website. The two-story facility features three classrooms, an instrument room, and an interactive children's exhibit gallery. Swift also performed at "All for the Hall" charity shows and has donated numerous artifacts from her career (such as notable guitars, tour costumes, etc) to the museum.
This was over 11 years ago, and it is still the only notable philanthropic contribution Taylor Swift has made.
For a woman of her net worth and stature, and a woman who recognizes the difficulties for women in film and music, you would think that Taylor Swift might establish a scholarship program for women to study the arts or something. Perhaps Swift might even consider becoming a member of organizations that support female artists, or one that supports LGBTQ+ causes (since she is now proudly an ally), yet she remains superficial with her graces. Broader philanthropy, such as donating relief aid to Palestinian women or women impacted by violence and discrimination will probably never receive any financial support from Miss Swift because then she'd be using her money towards philanthropies involving anyone but white entertainers.
She even says herself in Miss Americana, "My entire moral code as a kid and now is a need to be thought of as 'good'." Well, she's certainly thought of as good, though her actions say otherwise. She's more than happy to do a vaguely altruistic song and dance for a clip-worthy interview quote and mass appeasement, then fuck off to one of her mansions on a 20 minute private jet flight, rather than actually contribute to anything pertaining to the causes she has endorsed. Yet, far too many people continue to give a woman such as her their money, time, and energy, and she hoards these resources to herself.

I Like Some of the Taylor's Songs, But What the Fuck Does She Know About Feminism?

Swift continued with her self-proclaimed feminist campaign, positioning herself as a political activist and LGBTQ+ ally in the Miss Americana documentary. The primary focus of the documentary consists of the sexual assault trial, Andrea Swift's cancer diagnosis, Taylor's ED and body dysmorphia, media scrutiny, and, largely, finally speaking up about her politics publicly, mostly her opposition to the 2018 Tennessee Republican senate candidate, Marsha Blackburn, and Blackburn's beliefs. Swift says, following a scene discussing her experience during the trial,

"I just couldn't really stop thinking about it. And I just thought to myself, next time there is any opportunity to change anything, you had better know what you stand for and what you want to say."

We must ask ourselves, though: when has Swift ever spoken up to change anything? Okay, pulling her entire catalogue from Spotify because they didn't pay their artists enough and similarly pulling her catalogue from Apple Music are changes that she leveraged due to her revenue potential and power, but they are not pertinent to the average woman's rights. Moreover, these are issues that directly impacted Taylor's income, which was enough reason for her to protest in the first place. Swift has sold the most units for a female artist in first week sales, is the first female artist with 100k monthly Spotify listeners, is the first female artist to win the Album of the Year Grammy 4 times, and is the first female artist to do X, Y, and Z, all while being inoffensive and family-friendly to boot. The actual Taylor Swift seems unwilling to compromise the brand of Taylor Swift by contributing in meaningful ways to feminist causes, especially if it is for women outside of America and Hollywood.
The reason political anthems such as "The Man" and "Only the Young" of the Lover era feel disingenuous and corporate is because, well, it is. Taylor has taken every opportunity to advance her career or public image at the expense of other women. What is truly genuine to Taylor's outlook on other women is vying for male attention, taking down female competition, and vocalizing feminist injustices only if they directly impact her and her money. Some will argue that it's satisfactory for a woman with such a huge platform to even TALK about feminism, but that just isn't enough. It's even less impressive when you candidly look at the scope of her feminist lens: "If I was the man, then I'd be THE MAN", or "I really resent the ‘Be careful, buddy, she’s going to write a song about you’ angle, because it trivialises what I do", and, of course, "We all got crowns". Feminism, but only when it happens to me. It gets worse when you look at Taylor's track record of copying other famous women and removing other female artists as potential threats to her pop prowess.
It's good for PR to align yourself with certain blanket feminist and political beliefs, therefore good for branding, therefore good for ticketing and merchandise sales, therefore good for business. And Taylor Swift is a business.
She's not a feminist. Taylor Swift is a capitalist.

I Can't Pay Those Sweatshop Workers a Livable Wage or Benefits! How Else Would I Make My Billions?

Recently, Taylor's team filed to trademark the phrase "Female Rage: The Musical" after Taylor said during Paris N1 of the Eras Tour,

"So you were the first ones to see The Tortured Poets at the Eras Tour...or as I like to call it, 'Female Rage: The Musical'."

This trademark petition was filed last week on Saturday, and news comes about just as numerous unofficial fan-made merch designs have cropped up with this phrase plastered on Fruit of the Loom basics. I'm of the opinion Swift's team motioned for a trademark so that they can send out cease & desists to all those that make knockoff merch, which disrupts potential sales for Bravado, UMG's choice merchandising company; however, since it was filed earlier, perhaps Swift has bigger plans with the bizarre use of the gendered phrase. One Swiftie referred to the phrase "female rage" as "a funny Eras Tour joke". Could it be a possible fourth version of the Eras Tour Movie? Whatever the reason, the motion to capitalize off of such a concept is disgusting, but not unsurprising, for a woman that profits on her vain feminism.
Swift, through her company, TAS Rights Managements, has also trademarked over 200 phrases, including "1989", where she owns the property rights to this calendar year on keychains, phone cases, sunglasses, stationary, bags, beverage ware, clothing, entertainment services, your subconscious, and, of course, Christmas ornaments.
The vapid consumerism in Swiftie culture is, frankly, disgusting. Bravado's sustainability statement is non-existent, the quality control is abysmal, and the materials they use are horrible. The materials, such as acrylic and polyester, are made from petrochemicals. This means they are non-renewable, shed microplastics, and are quite toxic in production. The manufacturing process to make all of those lazy-rushed Eras Tour logo graphic tees is a huge blow to environmental well-being. Apparently, though, Swifties don't give a fuck. They sell out products in seconds and either have to face the manufactured scarcity or buy from a scalper that resells for 200% of the already ridiculous retail price. This doesn't include the environmental impact of vinyl records, CD, and cassette production, of which Taylor produces many variants that sell unsustainable amounts.
If we're talking about women's rights violations, why is no one acknowledging the women that work in the inhumane sweatshop conditions that have to pump out fugly t-shirts and hats? The millions of plastic microfiber dander they are inhaling, or the toxic dyes that touch their bare skin? Are they being compensated fairly for their skilled labour and are they in safe working environments? Do these women have minimal bargaining power, and do they have authority over their worker's rights? Is Taylor Swift female raging at their injustices? Does Taylor Swift ever feels bad that her wealth was built on the backs of women of color, disadvantaged by the demands of the global economy and garment industry? Do you think she ever says a little white feminist prayer for them before she goes to sleep at night?
What's even crazier is not that Taylor herself doesn't care, it's that Swifties don't care. There CANNOT BE ethical billionaires. You only make a billion dollars if you are exploiting other human beings for capital gain. Based on public perception of the possible "Female Rage: The Musical" trademark, it seems like Swifties are already asking for merch with this phrase. "If Taylor made it, I'd buy it." Oh, cool. So not only do you champion Miss Swift's avarice and billionaire status, but you also are unashamed to admit to your blind consumption of her music and merchandise, no matter where they might originate in production or sincerity. Just as Swift takes and takes and takes, Swifties' consumerism of Taylor Swift cannot be quelled.
The tortured artist's most vulnerable and sincere poetry...available now in 21 different versions!

I Am Tortured Poet, Hear Me Whinge

Look - even if Taylor's intention is to characterize TTPD as more "tortured" and "angry", the main thread of the album is "I was ghosted by my decade-long situationship with a controversial indie boy and my fucking stupid fans wrote a 'Speak Up Now' open letter prompting me to drop him" anger, which is adequately expressed in the lyrics and performances. The extent of Taylor's "female rage" on TTPD is on tracks such as "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?", which contends with relentless media scrutiny; "But Daddy I Love Him", where Swift firmly states she'll date whoever she likes no matter how "Sarahs and Hannahs" may react; and "The Albatross", a track mythologizing her reputation and the consequences of dating her. Of course, these coincide with deep psychological wounds that formed during Swift's early years in the media, and so, from her feminist perspective, these subjects tackle the misogyny and double standards that she faced.
Yet Taylor Swift still has no grounds to be claiming that TTPD best exemplifies female rage and therefore she, in the context of this album, is female rage incarnate. As the daughter of a stock broker and mutual fund marketing executive, Taylor was born into wealth and allowed privileges like trips and subsequent relocation to Nashville all so that she might get a record deal. Her father even invested at least $120,000 into the then-fledgling label, Big Machine Records, which ensured Taylor's place with Borchetta after leaving her dead-end development deal with Sony. The fact that her parents were able to buy her a fucking brand new guitar for Christmas and pay for music lessons says so much about the financial security and safety of her childhood.
Money is privilege and protection, and despite Swift's experiences with misogyny and loser boyfriends, she does not know what female rage is.
Her rage is derived from her frustrations with her obsessive fans pulling the moral superiority card on Taylor in response to her rebound with Matty Healy. That's literally it. She's just pissed that the monster she created is no longer obediant, it's become a feral, sovereign entity that depletes the world of its natural resources and thinks it is more intelligent than it actually is because it's mommy has started to talk to it with big words. Apparently, 'illicit', 'elegy', 'nonchalant', and 'precocious' are considerably big words for the oafish monster, and I find it strange that this level of literacy is present in a group of fans that allegedly have GPAs of 3.5 or higher, but I digress.
Taylor Swift has never been one paycheck away from destitution. Taylor Swift has never experienced racial discrimination. She may have instances of gender discrimination, but she possesses the ideal white, blonde American beauty standard and therefore reaps the benefits of being a conventionally attractive woman. Taylor Swift has sufficient social capital. Taylor Swift is a billionaire woman prolonging her victimhood though she, as a woman, has mostly had control over her image and music (unlike her contemporaries). Taylor Swift is NOT entitled to be championed for her "female rage", nor should she be. Taylor Swift has never even been the struggling artist, for fuck's sake. I don't give a fuck if she's trying to fill the empty lunch tables of her past. Taylor Swift purporting herself, her unpolished album, and her lukewarm feminism as a musical bleeding with female rage is asinine.

Sigh Try and Come For My Job, Poors

Out there in the world right now is a 23-year-old woman, a recent college grad, who works as a barista. She has to wake up and get ready to go into a minimum wage job because she cannot get a job in her field. She doesn't have healthcare benefits or sick time, so she has to go into work no matter how she's feeling. All day long she is berated by vicious customers and creepy men, and, exhausted from being on her feet, she knows she has to go home to her shitty roommate that never does the dishes and her roommate's shitty dog. To comfort herself, she considers getting a treat, but thinks against it when she remembers that matcha lattes cost $15 and they taste like milky dirt. She knows that she needs to buy groceries this week, and so the woman resolves to go home, but notices that her gas tank is low. She goes to put gas in the car, but the pump stops at $27.86 because that's all that she has in her checking account. The woman, bereft and reeling, sinks into the driver's seat. "Well," she thinks, her head in her hands, "at least I don't have Taylor Swift's job. I just couldn't imagine."
Fame is somewhat of a choice. If at any moment Taylor feels that she is misunderstood, misconstrued, or overwhelmed by public opinion, she can LEAVE the public eye - Lord knows she has the retirement fund and residuals to do so. In "I Can Do It With a Broken Heart", the TTPD song about meeting the demands of your career-zenith mega-tour while in the relationship trenches, Taylor ends the song by rambling,

"You know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart...you know you're good...and I'm good, cause I'm miserable, and no one even knows!...try and come for my job."

Yeah, obviously we wouldn't know, you recently passed the billionaire threshold and are the most famous and in-demand performer in the world right now. Taylor Swift makes an estimated $10 to $13 million dollars A NIGHT on the Eras Tour. Furthermore, the Eras Tour movie grossed $261.6 million globally, (which, as the producer, Taylor takes home 57% of the ticket sales) not counting the streaming revenue from Amazon Prime Video and the estimated $75 million deal that Disney paid to have it on Disney+. We're not even considering the income from cheap plastic popcorn buckets and drink cups plastered with colored squares in her Era-specific likeness.
It's funny. Taylor Swift often said that being famous wasn't hard, that she "isn't complaining". I'm sure it is difficult to always have to present in a good mood, else you'll end up misrepresented in the media, and I'm sure it's invasive to virtually have no privacy or semblance of anonymity. Still, Taylor Swift shows up each night of tour and performs. For a majority of her career, she has penned her sad songs while on the road. Most of "Red", her breakup album, was written in the thick of the Speak Now World tour. Now, some Swifties say they almost "feel bad" for attending the Eras Tour with Swift's revelations in this song, that they have had a 'dimmed experience' upon hearing Taylor's misery whilst performing. Despite the fact that Taylor said that "this was the happiest she's ever been" at Gilette Stadium in May, the lyrics "boohoo, woe is me, smile for the cameras and make the fans happy!!!" are jarring for Eras attendees.
While Taylor Swift was making double-digit millions a night in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil and feeling miserable, Ana Clara Benevides Machado passed away due to heat exposure. The concert promoters, Time For Fun, are now the subject of a criminal investigation due to their lack of adequate hydration and safety. Taylor Swift cancelled the Sunday show that was to follow and offered VIP tent tickets to Benevides Marchado's family, which was a kind gesture, but perhaps incongruous to the incident of which they were offered as consolation. Everyone grieves differently, of course, but I'm not sure attending the very show at the very same venue that my daughter or sister passed away in two days prior, where the singer CONTINUED the show despite her death, would be healthy for closure.
There was no female rage at the show as Swift never saw Benevides Machado pass out. There was no female rage towards the disregard for fans as humans while Swift elected to proceed with her Brazil tour dates despite the country being in historic heatwaves (at risk of overheatting herself). If Taylor Swift was so shaken by touring with a broken heart or a fan's passing, she wouldn't have added an additional North American leg of Eras just two months after the Matty breakup. She's brokenhearted but willing to mend the cracks with your money and move onward with her worldwide female rage induced pillaging.
No matter what happens, even if you die at a Taylor Swift concert, Taylor collects a big fat check and flies away. She doesn't know you as anything other than a conversion rate or earning potential despite what her nearly 20-year long parasocial relationship with fans might otherwise indicate. She knows that, while some Swifties are without disposable income, they feel obligated to spend on a "48 Hours Only!" exclusive vinyl variant instead of necessities because they are so entrenched in Taylor Swift's intoxicating celebrity, they'll prioritize materialistic fandom before their needs. This is good enough for her because this means she can expand her real estate portfolio and finance her cat's lavish lifestyles. They're worth an estimated $100 million dollars. Her three cats could pool their net worth and solve world hunger.
While you and I might be denied bereavement leave and barely surviving the current political and economic climate, Taylor Swift has to, instead of gets to, perform for stadiums at full attendance for three nights in a row across the globe. You and I might be replaced by AI at our longtime jobs, but Taylor Swift is threatened with losing more and more money each time you listen to a "Stolen Version" of her songs. If we don't buy every variant of all of her albums, then who is going to pay for the fucking cats?
It is tone deaf to spend as she spends and lives as she lives in this economy, but this is her reality. She was able to donate $100,000 to all of her tour truck drivers, and that's wonderful, but it leads me to wonder about the ethos of the 2020s where one woman can hoard such life-changing amounts of money. Remember in 2014 when she gave a fan $90 ($120 in today's money) to get Chipotle because she had no fucking clue how much it cost? This is a 34-year-old woman who is increasingly out of touch with the reality for working class people and women in general. Normal everyday adults must wake up and go to their thankless jobs, and yet Taylor Swift, despite all her riches, incessantly references the lows of her life and career as a public figure and entertainer to farm sympathy and drive sales. And still, the corporate women have latched onto "I cry a lot, but I am so productive! It's an art!" as their cubicle battle cry.
Do you think that, from up in her private jet, Taylor Swift gazes at the world through her poetic, tortured eyes, and thinks, "All the little people, in their cars, walking, going about their lives...all those girls that don't support girls...do they know that I've made an album about female rage?"

Conclusion/TLDR

Thank you for reading. I would love to hear your critical insights towards this entire ordeal: TTPD, the trademark, the implications of it all.
TLDR: Taylor Swift is a bad feminist and is delusional to think that the TTPD eras set exemplifies female rage at women's injustice.

abandon, ability, able, about, above, absence, absolute, absolutely, abstract, abundance, academy, accent, accept, access, accident, accompany, accomplish, according, account, accurate, achieve, achievement, acid, acknowledge, acquire, across, action, active, activity, actor, actual, actually, adapt, addition, additional, address, adequate, adjust, administration, admire, admission, admit, adolescent, adopt, adult, advance, advantage, adventure, advertise, advice, advise, adviser, advocate, affair, affect, afford, afraid, after, afternoon, again, against, age, agency, agenda, agent, aggressive, ago, agree, agreement, agriculture, ahead, aid, aim, air, aircraft, airline, airport, alarm, album, alcohol, alive, all, alliance, allow, ally, almost, alone, along, already, also, alter, alternative, although, always, amateur, amazing, ambition, ambulance, among, amount, analysis, analyst, analyze, ancient, and, anger, angle, angry, animal, anniversary, announce, annual, another, answer, anticipate, anxiety, any, anybody, anymore, anyone, anything, anyway, anywhere, apart, apartment, apologize, apparent, apparently, appeal, appear, appearance, apple, application, apply, appoint, appointment, appreciate, approach, appropriate, approval, approve, approximately, architect, area, argue, argument, arise, arm, armed, army, around, arrange, arrangement, arrest, arrival, arrive, art, article, artist, artistic, as, ashamed, aside, ask, asleep, aspect, assault, assert, assess, assessment, asset, assign, assignment, assist, assistance, assistant, associate, association, assume, assumption, assure, at, athlete, athletic, atmosphere, attach, attack, attempt, attend, attention, attitude, attorney, attract, attraction, attractive, attribute, audience, author, authority, auto, available, average, avoid, award, aware, awareness, away, awful, baby, back, background, bad, badly, bag, balance, ball, ban, band, bank, bar, barely, barrel, barrier, base, baseball, basic, basically, basis, basket, basketball, bath, bathroom, battery, battle, be, beach, bear, beat, beautiful, beauty, because, become, bed, bedroom, bee, beef, beer, before, begin, beginning, behavior, behind, being, belief, believe, bell, belong, below, belt, bench, bend, beneath, benefit, beside, besides, best, bet, better, between, beyond, bicycle, big, bike, bill, billion, bind, biological, bird, birth, birthday, bit, bite, black, blade, blame, blanket, blind, block, blood, blow, blue, board, boat, body, bomb, bombing, bond, bone, book, boom, boot, border, boring, born, borrow, boss, both, bother, bottle, bottom, boundary, bowl, box, boy, boyfriend, brain, branch, brand, brave, bread, break, breakfast, breast, breath, breathe, brick, bridge, brief, briefly, bright, brilliant, bring, broad, broken, brother, brown, brush, buck, budget, build, building, bullet, bunch, burden, burn, bury, bus, business, busy, but, butter, button, buy, buyer, by, cabin, cabinet, cable, cake, calculate, call, camera, camp, campaign, campus, can, Canadian, cancer, candidate, cap, capability, capable, capacity, capital, captain, capture, car, carbon, card, care, career, careful, carefully, carrier, carry, case, cash, cast, cat, catch, category, Catholic, cause, ceiling, celebrate, celebration, celebrity, cell, center, central, century, CEO, ceremony, certain, certainly, chain, chair, chairman, challenge, chamber, champion, championship, chance, change, changing, channel, chapter, character, characteristic, characterize, charge, charity, chart, chase, cheap, check, cheek, cheese, chef, chemical, chest, chicken, chief, child, childhood, Chinese, chip, chocolate, choice, cholesterol, choose, Christian, Christmas, church, cigarette, circle, circumstance, cite, citizen, city, civil, civilian, claim, class, classic, classroom, clean, clear, clearly, client, climate, climb, clinic, clinical, clock, close, closely, closer, clothes, clothing, cloud, club, clue, cluster, coach, coal, coalition, coast, coat, code, coffee, cognitive, cold, collapse, colleague, collect, collection, collective, college, colonial, color, column, combination, combine, come, comedy, comfort, comfortable, command, commander, comment, commercial, commission, commit, commitment, committee, common, communicate, communication, community, company, compare, comparison, compete, competition, competitive, competitor, complain, complaint, complete, completely, complex, complexity, compliance, complicate, complicated, component, compose, composition, comprehensive, computer, concentrate, concentration, concept, concern, concerned, concert, conclude, conclusion, concrete, condition, conduct, conference, confidence, confident, confirm, conflict, confront, confusion, Congress, congressional, connect, connection, consciousness, consensus, consequence, conservative, consider, considerable, consideration, consist, consistent, constant, constantly, constitute, constitutional, construct, construction, consultant, consume, consumer, consumption, contact, contain, container, contemporary, content, contest, context, continue, continued, contract, contrast, contribute, contribution, control, controversial, controversy, convention, conventional, conversation, convert, conviction, convince, cook, cookie, cooking, cool, cooperation, cop, cope, copy, core, corn, corner, corporate, corporation, correct, correspondent, cost, cotton, couch, could, council, count, counter, country, county, couple, courage, course, court, cousin, cover, coverage, cow, crack, craft, crash, crazy, cream, create, creation, creative, creature, credit, crew, crime, criminal, crisis, criteria, critic, critical, criticism, criticize, crop, cross, crowd, crucial, cry, cultural, culture, cup, curious, current, currently, curriculum, custom, customer, cut, cycle, dad, daily, damage, dance, danger, dangerous, dare, dark, darkness, data, database, date, daughter, day, dead, deal, dealer, dear, death, debate, debt, decade, decide, decision, deck, declare, decline, decrease, deep, deeply, deer, defeat, defend, defendant, defense, defensive, deficit, define, definitely, definition, degree, delay, deliver, delivery, demand, democracy, Democratic, Democrat, demonstrate, demonstration, deny, department, depend, dependent, depending, depict, depression, depth, deputy, derive, describe, description, desert, deserve, design, designer, desire, desk, desperate, despite, destroy, destruction, detail, detailed, detect, detection, detective, determine, develop, developing, development, device, devil, dialogue, diet, differ, difference, different, differently, difficult, difficulty, dig, digital, dimension, dining, dinner, direct, direction, directly, director, dirt, disability, disagree, disappear, disaster, discipline, disclose, discover, discovery, discrimination, discuss, discussion, disease, dish, dismiss, disorder, display, dispute, distance, distinct, distinction, distinguish, distribute, distribution, district, diverse, diversity, divide, division, divorce, DNA, do, doctor, document, dog, domestic, dominant, dominate, door, double, doubt, down, downtown, dozen, draft, drag, drama, dramatic, dramatically, draw, drawer, drawing, dream, dress, drink, drive, driver, drop, drug, dry, due, during, dust, duty, dwell, dying, dynamic, each, eager, ear, earlier, early, earn, earnings, earth, earthquake, ease, easily, east, eastern, easy, eat, economic, economy, edge, edit, edition, editor, educate, education, educational, educator, effect, effective, effectively, efficiency, efficient, effort, egg, eight, either, elderly, elect, election, electric, electrical, electricity, electronic, element, elementary, eliminate, elite, else, elsewhere, e-mail, embrace, emerge, emergency, emission, emotion, emotional, emphasis, emphasize, employ, employee, employer, employment, empty, enable, encounter, encourage, end, enemy, energy, enforcement, engage, engine, engineer, engineering, English, enhance, enjoy, enormous, enough, ensure, enter, enterprise, entertain, entertainment, entire, entirely, entrance, entry, environment, environmental, episode, equal, equally, equipment, equivalent, era, error, escape, especially, essay, essential, essentially, establish, establishment, estate, estimate, etc, ethics, ethnic, European, evaluate, evaluation, evening, event, eventually, ever, every, everybody, everyday, everyone, everything, everywhere, evidence, evolution, evolve, exact, exactly, exam, examination, examine, example, exceed, excellent, except, exception, exchange, exciting, executive, exercise, exhibit, exhibition, exist, existence, existing, expand, expansion, expect, expectation, expense, expensive, experience, experiment, expert, explain, explanation, explode, explore, explosion, expose, exposure, express, expression, extend, extension, extensive, extent, external, extra, extraordinary, extreme, extremely, eye, fabric, face, facility, fact, factor, factory, faculty, fade, fail, failure, fair, fairly, faith, fall, false, familiar, family, famous, fan, fantasy, far, farm, farmer, fashion, fast, fat, fate, father, fault, favor, favorite, fear, feature, federal, fee, feed, feel, feeling, fellow, female, fence, festival, few, fewer, fiber, fiction, field, fifteen, fifth, fifty, fight, fighter, fighting, figure, file, fill, film, final, finally, finance, financial, find, finding, fine, finger, finish, fire, firm, first, fish, fishing, fit, fitness, five, fix, flag, flame, flat, flavor, flee, flesh, flight, float, floor, flow, flower, fly, focus, folk, follow, following, food, foot, football, for, force, foreign, forest, forever, forget, form, formal, formation, former, formula, forth, fortune, forward, found, foundation, founder, four, fourth, frame, framework, free, freedom, freeze, French, frequency, frequent, frequently, fresh, friend, friendly, friendship, from, front, fruit, frustration, fuel, fulfill, full, fully, fun, function, fund, fundamental, funding, funeral, funny, furniture, furthermore, future, gain, galaxy, gallery, game, gang, gap, garage, garden, garlic, gas, gate, gather, gay, gaze, gear, gender, gene, general, generally, generate, generation, genetic, gentleman, gently, German, gesture, get, ghost, giant, gift, gifted, girl, girlfriend, give, given, glad, glance, glass, global, glove, go, goal, God, gold, golden, golf, good, govern, government, governor, grab, grace, grade, gradually, graduate, grain, grand, grandmother, grant, grass, grave, gray, great, green, grocery, ground, group, grow, growing, growth, guarantee, guard, guess, guest, guide, guideline, guilty, gun, guy, habit, habitat, hair, half, hall, hand, handful, handle, hang, happen, happy, harbor, hard, hardly, hat, hate, have, he, head, headline, headquarters, health, healthy, hear, hearing, heart, heat, heaven, heavily, heavy, heel, height, helicopter, hell, hello, help, helpful, hence, her, herb, here, heritage, hero, herself, hey, hi, hide, high, highlight, highly, highway, hill, him, himself, hip, hire, his, historic, historical, history, hit, hold, hole, holiday, holy, home, homeless, honest, honey, honor, hope, horizon, horror, horse, hospital, host, hot, hotel, hour, house, household, housing, how, however, huge, human, humor, hundred, hungry, hunter, hunting, hurt, husband, hypothesis, ice, idea, ideal, identification, identify, identity, ignore, ill, illegal, illness, illustrate, image, imagination, imagine, immediate, immediately, immigrant, immigration, impact, implement, implication, imply, importance, important, impose, impossible, impress, impression, impressive, improve, improvement, incentive, incident, include, including, income, incorporate, increase, increased, increasingly, incredible, indeed, independence, independent, index, indicate, indication, individual, industrial, industry, infant, infection, inflation, influence, inform, information, ingredient, initial, initially, initiative, injury, inner, innocent, inquiry, inside, insight, insist, inspire, install, instance, instead, institute, institution, institutional, instruction, instructor, instrument, insurance, intellectual, intelligence, intend, intense, intensity, intention, interaction, interest, interested, interesting, internal, international, Internet, interpret, interpretation, intervention, interview, introduce, introduction, invasion, invest, investigation, investigator, investment, investor, invite, involve, involved, involvement, Iraqi, Irish, iron, Islamic, island, Israeli, issue, it, Italian, item, its, itself, jacket, jail, Japanese, jet, Jew, Jewish, job, join, joint, joke, journal, journalist, journey, joy, judge, judgment, juice, jump, junior, jury, just, justice, justify, keep, key, kick, kid, kill, killer, killing, kind, king, kiss, kitchen, knee, knife, knock, know, knowledge, lab, label, labor, laboratory, lack, lady, lake, land, landscape, language, lap, large, largely, last, late, later, Latin, latter, laugh, launch, law, lawsuit, lawyer, lay, layer, lead, leader, leadership, leading, leaf, league, lean, learn, learning, least, leather, leave, left, leg, legacy, legal, legend, legislation, legislative, legislator, legitimate, lemon, length, less, lesson, let, letter, level, liberal, library, license, lie, life, lifestyle, lifetime, lift, light, like, likely, limit, limitation, limited, line, link, lip, list, listen, literary, literature, little, live, living, load, loan, local, locate, location, lock, long, long-term, look, loose, lose, loss, lost, lot, lots, loud, love, lovely, lover, low, lower, luck, lucky, lunch, luxury, machine, mad, magazine, mail, main, mainly, maintain, maintenance, major, majority, make, maker, makeup, male, mall, man, manage, management, manager, manner, manufacturer, manufacturing, many, map, margin, mark, market, marketing, marriage, married, marry, mask, mass, massive, master, match, material, math, matter, may, maybe, mayor, me, meal, mean, meaning, meanwhile, measure, measurement, meat, mechanism, media, medical, medication, medicine, medium, meet, meeting, member, membership, memory, mental, mention, menu, mere, merely, mess, message, metal, meter, method, Mexican, middle, might, military, milk, million, mind, mine, minister, minor, minority, minute, miracle, mirror, miss, missile, mission, mistake, mix, mixture, mm-hmm, mode, model, moderate, modern, modest, mom, moment, money, monitor, month, mood, moon, moral, more, moreover, morning, mortgage, most, mostly, mother, motion, motivation, motor, mountain, mouse, mouth, move, movement, movie, Mr, Mrs, Ms, much, multiple, murder, muscle, museum, music, musical, musician, Muslim, must, mutual, my, myself, mystery, myth, naked, name, narrative, narrow, nation, national, native, natural, naturally, nature, near, nearby, nearly, necessarily, necessary, neck, need, negative, negotiate, negotiation, neighbor, neighborhood, neither, nerve, nervous, net, network, never, nevertheless, new, newly, news, newspaper, next, nice, night, nine, no, nobody, nod, noise, nomination, nominee, none, nonetheless, nor, normal, normally, north, northern, nose, not, note, nothing, notice, notion, novel, now, nowhere, nuclear, number, numerous, nurse, nut, object, objective, obligation, observation, observe, observer, obtain, obvious, obviously, occasion, occasionally, occupation, occupy, occur, ocean, odd, odds, of, off, offense, offensive, offer, office, officer, official, often, oh, oil, okay, old, Olympic, on, once, one, ongoing, onion, online, only, onto, open, opening, operate, operating, operation, operator, opinion, opponent, opportunity, oppose, opposed, opposite, opposition, option, or, orange, order, ordinary, organic, organization, organize, orientation, origin, original, originally, other, others, otherwise, ought, our, ours, ourselves, out, outcome, outside, oven, over, overall, overcome, overlook, owe, own, owner, pace, pack, package, page, pain, painful, paint, painter, painting, pair, pale, Palestinian, palm, pan, panel, panic, pant, paper, paragraph, parent, park, parking, part, participant, participate, participation, particle, particular, particularly, partly, partner, partnership, party, pass, passage, passenger, passion, past, patch, path, patient, pattern, pause, pay, payment, PC, peace, peak, peer, pen, penalty, people, pepper, per, perceive, percentage, perception, perfect, perfectly, perform, performance, perhaps, period, permanent, permission, permit, person, personal, personality, personally, personnel, perspective, persuade, pet, phase, phenomenon, philosophy, phone, photo, photographer, phrase, physical, physically, physician, piano, pick, picture, pie, piece, pile, pilot, pine, pink, pipe, pitch, place, plan, plane, planet, planning, plant, plastic, plate, platform, play, player, please, pleasure, plenty, plot, plus, PM, pocket, poem, poet, poetry, point, police, policy, political, politically, politician, politics, poll, pollution, pool, poor, pop, popular, population, porch, port, portion, portrait, portray, pose, position, positive, possess, possession, possibility, possible, possibly, post, pot, potato, potential, potentially, pound, pour, poverty, powder, power, powerful, practical, practice, prayer, preach, precisely, predict, prediction, prefer, preference, pregnancy, pregnant, preparation, prepare, prescription, presence, present, presentation, preserve, president, presidential, press, pressure, pretend, pretty, prevent, previous, previously, price, pride, priest, primarily, primary, prime, principal, principle, print, prior, priority, prison, prisoner, privacy, private, probably, problem, procedure, proceed, process, processing, processor, proclaim, produce, producer, product, production, profession, professional, professor, profile, profit, program, progress, progressive, project, prominent, promise, promote, prompt, proof, proper, properly, property, proportion, proposal, propose, prosecutor, prospect, protect, protection, protein, protest, proud, prove, provide, provider, province, provision, psychological, psychology, public, publication, publicity, publish, publisher, pull, punishment, purchase, pure, purpose, pursue, push, put, qualify, quality, quarter, quarterback, quarterly, queen, quest, question, quick, quickly, quiet, quietly, quit, quite, quote, race, racial, radiation, radical, radio, rail, rain, raise, range, rank, rapid, rapidly, rare, rarely, rate, rather, rating, ratio, raw, reach, react, reaction, reader, reading, ready, real, reality, realize, really, reason, reasonable, recall, receive, recent, recently, reception, recipe, recipient, recognition, recognize, recommend, recommendation, record, recording, recover, recovery, recruit, red, reduce, reduction, refer, reference, reflect, reflection, reform, refugee, refuse, regard, regarding, regardless, regime, region, regional, register, regular, regularly, regulate, regulation, regulator, reinforce, reject, relate, relation, relationship, relative, relatively, relax, release, relevant, relief, religion, religious, rely, remain, remaining, remarkable, remember, remind, remote, remove, repeat, repeatedly, replace, replacement, reply, report, reporter, represent, representation, representative, Republican, reputation, request, require, requirement, research, researcher, resemble, reservation, resident, residential, resign, resist, resistance, resolution, resolve, resort, resource, respect, respond, response, responsibility, responsible, rest, restaurant, restore, restriction, result, retain, retire, retirement, return, reveal, revenue, review, revolution, rhythm, rice, rich, rid, ride, rifle, right, ring, rise, risk, river, road, rock, role, roll, romantic, roof, room, root, rope, rose, rough, roughly, round, route, routine, row, rub, rubber, rude, ruin, rule, run, running, rural, rush, Russian, sacred, sad, safe, safety, sake, salad, salary, sale, sales, salt, same, sample, sanction, sand, satellite, satisfaction, satisfied, satisfy, sauce, save, saving, say, scale, scandal, scare, scatter, scenario, scene, schedule, scheme, scholar, scholarship, school, science, scientific, scientist, scope, score, scream, screen, script, sea, search, season, seat, second, secondary, secret, secretary, section, sector, secure, security, see, seed, seek, seem, segment, seize, select, selection, self, sell, Senate, senator, send, senior, sense, sensitive, sentence, separate, sequence, series, serious, seriously, servant, serve, service, session, set, setting, settle, settlement, seven, several, severe, sex, sexual, shade, shadow, shake, shall, shallow, shape, share, sharp, she, sheet, shelf, shell, shelter, shift, shine, ship, shirt, shock, shoe, shoot, shooting, shop, shopping, short, shortly, shot, should, shoulder, shout, show, shower, shrug, shut, shy, sibling, sick, side, sigh, sight, sign, signal, significant, significantly, silence, silent, silver, similar, similarly, simple, simply, sin, since, sing, singer, single, sink, sir, sister, sit, site, situation, six, size, ski, skill, skin, skirt, sky, slave, sleep, slice, slide, slight, slightly, slip, slow, slowly, small, smart, smell, smile, smoke, smooth, snap, snow, so, so-called, soccer, social, society, soft, software, soil, solar, soldier, sole, solid, solution, solve, some, somebody, somehow, someone, something, sometimes, somewhat, somewhere, son, song, soon, sophisticated, sorry, sort, soul, sound, soup, source, south, southern, Soviet, space, Spanish, speak, speaker, special, specialist, species, specific, specifically, specify, speech, speed, spend, spending, spin, spirit, spiritual, split, spoil, sponsor, sport, spot, spray, spread, spring, square, squeeze, stability, stable, staff, stage, stain, stair, stake, stand, standard, standing, star, stare, start, state, statement, station, statistical, status, stay, steady, steal, steel, steep, stem, step, stick, still, stimulate, stimulus, stir, stock, stomach, stone, stop, storage, store, storm, story, straight, strange, stranger, strategic, strategy, stream, street, strength, strengthen, stress, stretch, strike, string, strip, stroke, strong, strongly, structural, structure, struggle, student, studio, study, stuff, stupid, style, subject, submit, subsequent, substance, substantial, substitute, succeed, success, successful, successfully, such, sudden, suddenly, sue, suffer, sufficient, sugar, suggest, suggestion, suicide, suit, summer, summit, sun, super, supply, support, supporter, suppose, supposed, Supreme, sure, surely, surface, surgery, surprise, surprised, surprising, surprisingly, surround, survey, survival, survive, survivor, suspect, sustain, swear, sweep, sweet, swim, swing, switch, symbol, symptom, system, table, tactic, tail, take, tale, talent, talk, tall, tank, tap, tape, target, task, taste, tax, taxi, tea, teach, teacher, teaching, team, tear, technical, technique, technology, teen, teenager, telephone, telescope, television, tell, temperature, temporary, ten, tend, tendency, tennis, tension, tent, term, terms, terrible, territory, terror, terrorist, test, testimony, testing, text, than, thank, thanks, that, the, theater, their, them, theme, themselves, then, theory, therapy, there, therefore, these, they, thick, thin, thing, think, thinking, third, thirty, this, those, though, thought, thousand, threat, threaten, three, throat, through, throughout, throw, thus, ticket, tie, tight, time, tiny, tip, tire, tissue, title, to, tobacco, today, toe, together, toilet, token, tolerate, tomato, tomorrow, tone, tongue, tonight, too, tool, tooth, top, topic, toss, total, totally, touch, tough, tour, tourist, tournament, toward, towards, tower, town, toy, trace, track, trade, tradition, traditional, traffic, tragedy, trail, train, training, transfer, transform, transformation, transition, translate, translation, transmission, transmit, transport, transportation, travel, treat, treatment, treaty, tree, tremendous, trend, trial, tribe, trick, trip, troop, trouble, truck, true, truly, trust, truth, try, tube, tunnel, turn, TV, twelve, twenty, twice, twin, two, type, typical, typically, ugly, ultimate, ultimately, unable, uncle, undergo, understand, understanding, unfortunately, uniform, union, unique, unit, United, universal, universe, university, unknown, unless, unlike, until, unusual, up, upon, upper, urban, urge, us, use, used, useful, user, usual, usually, utility, utilize, vacation, valley, valuable, value, variable, variation, variety, various, vary, vast, vegetable, vehicle, venture, version, versus, very, vessel, veteran, via, victim, victory, video, view, viewer, village, violate, violation, violence, violent, virtually, virtue, virus, visibility, visible, vision, visit, visitor, visual, vital, voice, volume, voluntary, volunteer, vote, voter, voting, wage, wait, wake, walk, wall, wander, want, war, warm, warn, warning, wash, waste, watch, water, wave, way, we, weak, weakness, wealth, wealthy, weapon, wear, weather, web, website, wedding, week, weekend, weekly, weigh, weight, welcome, welfare, well, west, western, wet, what, whatever, wheel, when, whenever, where, whereas, whether, which, while, whisper, white, who, whole, whom, whose, why, wide, widely, widespread, wife, wild, wildlife, will, willing, win, wind, window, wine, wing, winner, winter, wipe, wire, wisdom, wise, wish, with, withdraw, within, without, witness, woman, wonder, wonderful, wood, wooden, word, work, worker, working, workout, workplace, works, workshop, world, worried, worry, worth, would, wound, wrap, write, writer, writing, wrong, yard, yeah, year, yell, yellow, yes, yesterday, yet, yield, you, young, your, yours, yourself, youth, zone.

My birthday is next Tuesday, and as always, I feel somewhat depressed and wondering about my life. I feel like things have improved somewhat: I am not suicidal, as I often was during my teenage and early adulthood (now I am 21), and I do feel that life is more promising. But still, I can't help but, during these days, feel especially inferior and incapable. I do know that in many ways I am more capable than my peers. I had a meeting with my advisor this Friday to submit an application so that my research scholarship could be renewed and he showed what he had written to justify the renewal, while telling me "it is all true!": I am an "excellent student", who is doing "creative, robust, and sophisticated research, very promising for the field", and has shown "engagement, maturity, and professionalism".
And it is definitely not the first time I hear something like this as I have heard that I am intelligent etc all my life, and still I can't help, especially these days, but feel like a shadow of my peers, including intellectually. I just feel like I will always be their shadow socially and otherwise. I can't speak as clearly or softly as they can (and I do have a speech problem), nor can I develop the same relationships—I am finishing my degree, and I have barely developed any friendships, and I have never gone out with classmates. I don't have friends outside uni. I mostly talk with my family about our dog, which I do repeatedly. I don't know, and I realise this all sounds like rambling, which is, but I just feel like a sad imitation of what a human is supposed to be; like if I were still watching life from afar, without never taking part.

Welcome to the /ursulakleguin "What Le Guin or related work are you currently reading?" discussion thread! This thread will be reposted every two weeks.
Please use this thread to share any relevant works you're reading, including but not limited to:

• Books, short stories, essays, poetry, speeches, or anything else written by Ursula K. Le Guin
  
• Interviews with Le Guin
  
• Biographies, personal essays or tributes about Le Guin from other writers
  
• Critical essays or scholarship about Le Guin or her work
  
• Fanfiction
  
• Works by other authors that were heavily influenced by, or directly in conversation with, Le Guin's work. An example of this would be N.K. Jemisin's short story "The Ones Who Stay and Fight," which was written as a direct response to Le Guin's short story "The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas."
  

This post is not intended to discourage people from making their own posts. You are still welcome to make your own self-post about anything Le Guin related that you are reading, even if you post about it in this thread as well. In-depth thoughts, detailed reviews, and discussion-provoking questions are especially good fits for their own posts.
Feel free to select from a variety of user flairs! Here are instructions for selecting and setting your preferred flairs!

I'm spamming right now lmao
this sub is dead anyway
Grades:
~3.70 GPA for, across semesters, 6th grade
7th grade: first semester: 3.66 GPA.
7th grade: second semester: 3.88 (semester hasn't ended yet).
Testing:
6th grade ISEE scores - just about 95th percentile & above on everything on a national average scale: Quantitative Reasoning: 99th, and combined English testing about 97th; Writing Mechanics was 99th.
7th Grade ISEE scores - average of 97.45 percentile. Everything was above 95th.
ECs -

1. Destination Imagination (theatre club): 6th, 7th.
2. Piano Lessons at School: 6th, 7th.
3. Speech & Debate Team: 6th, 7th.
4. Chess Club/Team: 6th, 7th. - Team captain (only team with a captain)
5. Model UN: 7th.
6. Quiz Bowl: 7th.
7. Breakfast Club: 6th, 7th.
8. School Ambassador (Leadership Title): 7th.
9. D&D Club: 7th.
10. Digital Media & Photography Club: 7th.
11. Art (on Edward Hopper) and pedagogical study with art teacher that led to him restructuring his 7th grade curriculum to be more independent like the project I did. - BEST EC
12. Member of Track & Field Team: 7th.

Awards -

1. 10+ Chess tourney awards; 2x chess team state runner up. & 2x 2nd at regionals.
2. 10+ Speech & Debate tourney awards; 6th & 2nd place at state in Extemporaneous Speaking; 2024 State Quarterfinalist in Broadcasting & Semifinalist in Impromptu & 2nd in Broadcasting at regionals.
3. Model UN: Won Outstanding Speaker Award/~200 at state-wide conference and led team as an ambassador to win Outstanding (best) & premier Delegation & best flair.
4. First Head’s & High Honors List: 6th grade. - weakest award -- looking for something to replace it
5. Awarded full scholarship to number 1 private school in state and top middle school in nation.
6. National French Exam: National Silver Medalist and 7th place in state. - BEST AWARD? (im unsure of this)

Recommendations: Definitely will be decent at worst: principal loves me & my future eighth grade teachers definitely don't hate me, as far as I know, and will probably like me.
Essay: TBD

Hi all, I have returned to my moderator duties on this subreddit now - though I will continue to post here in relatively limited capacity only, there are a couple of things I want to clarify around subreddit rules:

Point 1

We do allow self-promotion of one’s own articles, books etc. on the case. This has always been both allowed and encouraged. However, going forward this is providing that the material contains verifiable citations to the claims being made, i.e. a source list - whether this is provided to the moderators in advance of the post or whether it is listed within the actual material you are promoting. Original art based on the case is not allowed out of respect for the families, and this is covered in rule 3 of the subreddit in relation to “glorification”.

Point 2

I have noticed an uptake of individuals declaring that they were “employed in the police/prison service/NHS” with either direct or indirect experiences with Brady or Hindley, or that they are “related” to either a victim or an individual associated with the case. On my own part, I realise I have been quite inconsistent with what I let slip through the cracks and what I remove, so let me clarify. It has depended on how they claim they were related to the individual in question, and who that individual was - or similarly, what this person claims their job is.
If somebody claims that they are related/associated with either of the five murder victims or their families, then I would not allow such comments unless either myself or the rest of the moderation team can verify that this person is, without a shadow of a doubt, telling the truth.
I am yet to see instances of people claiming they are related to either Brady or Hindley, but I would be equally, if not more, sceptical around them. Brady has no known surviving relatives - at least direct relatives - and none of Hindley’s surviving relatives speak to the media; but from what I know they were absolutely disgusted and devastated by her crimes and are just trying to get on with their lives. I respect their right to remain anonymous, and as with those claiming they are related to/associated with the victims, I would not allow such comments unless that person can somehow verify their identity to me.
The same pertains to anybody claiming an association with any of the original witnesses in the case, regardless of whether they are living or deceased - especially the ones who were under 18 at the time, like David Smith and Patricia Hodges, and also anybody who clearly wishes to remain anonymous (for example, Ian Brady’s foster family). This is due to the fact that we do have actual relatives of Moors Murders victims aware of this subreddit, and we want to maintain the integrity of our discussions as much as we can. But we also want to promote freedom of speech, and as long as people aren’t misleading about elements of the actual case then we aren’t going to silence them - only ask that our subreddit members take things with a grain of salt and flag things that don’t sound right to the moderation team.
Not speaking for the rest of the mods here, but I tend to allow other instances to be posted, but I would strongly encourage anybody who is making such claims to please reach out to either myself or the moderation team privately beforehand, just so you don’t run into trouble with getting your comment approved. This subreddit is dedicated to promoting only the verifiable facts on the case, and though there are instances where this isn’t possible, we want to make every effort to ensure that people aren’t being misled in a particular direction of research due to content and claims that they see on this subreddit.
To sum up and finish off this point, in reference to any claim you might make about your connection to the case - regardless of how involved it is, we respect your right to privacy, but in some instances we may ask you via private message to verify your identity via a public social media account that backs up that you are who you say you are (we would never ask for official documentation, as we are in no position to do so and we are merely amateur researchers trying to remain as ethical as we can), if this is possible for you. Otherwise your comment may not be allowed - but if this is still a matter you want to discuss privately with one of the moderation team we are happy to hear you out.
Thank you for reading.

I wanna major in biochem w a minor in finance bc I think I wanna do premed but I want a back up plan if I don’t end up liking it lol.
Demographics: Middle class white girl going to a public school, first gen american. I had some traumatic things happen to me as a child lmao but I don’t think I want to talk abt it just for the sake of admission 💀
Academics: -4.0/4.0 - 4.888/5.0 -35 ACT (taken once) -1440 SAT (taken once but i think i’ll retake over summer) -A gazillion dual enrollment classes -Only 5 aps so far (world,psych,chem,lang,physics 1(self study)) but my school doesn’t really offer them, I’m taking 6 more next year though (bio, chinese, lit, calc bc, gov, macro) I think I’ll have gotten 5’s on all my aps except for physics which I’m just hoping to pass 💀 -Certification of finance through AZ CTE
Work/Volunteer experience: -Presidential volunteer award silver for work in my local library system (80ish hours) -80ish hours at my schools student store -50ish hours in my county’s public health office -10 hours at a culture non profit - I plan to get more involved at said nonprofit and take on some projects for them over the summer - Working basically all of hs at a tutoring center
EC’s: -President of my school’s FBLA for 2 years, vp for one -Secretary of my school’s chinese club, I’ll be president next year -VP/cofounder of school’s hosa chapter -Scioly all of hs -Speech and debate half a year -NSLI-Y -Pretty extensive research experience at a local lab but no publishings -Run a small social media thing about journalism -Wisci south asia camper this summer -Got into and participating in the top med/research program in my state over summer
Awards/honors: -Like 3 top 5’s for FBLA states, qualified for nationals 3 times but couldn’t attend -3rd place in speech and debate impromptu speaking for my state (it was my first time doing the event so that’s a fun story 💀) and placed for my OO the first time as well -A gazillion places for scioly but nothing that impressive except for a 6th in states and a lot of seconds for this one event at smaller tournaments -2nd in a local science fair for microbiology - Business honor roll -NHS -Got into a book for some 5 word memoir thing
Skills: -Trilingual and I plan to learn a 4th this summer -I can play guitar and sing a little bit -I’m a really good writer in my opinion
I feel like my app is really well rounded but I literally have no spike so I feel like I’m cooked 💀 Chance me/advice is welcomed lol. Should I do some crazy passion project over the summer or is it too late?

\* My apologies, I forgot to add in the title that I will be applying ED to BU.*
Demographics: Male, white, Florida resident, private school, parent is faculty of Northeastern and University of Southern California (might apply to these two as reach schools)
Intended Major(s): Health Sciences
ACT/SAT/SAT II: 1450 SAT (current score on practice tests, will be taking it in 2026)
UW/W GPA and Rank: 3.93/4.9, top 5 of my graduating class of 175
Coursework: AP/IB/Dual Enrollment classes, AP/IB scores, etc
APs (I have only taken two so far) - World History (4), Human Geography (5), Chemistry, U.S. History, Psychology, English Language and Composition, Biology (may take Honors Physics instead), Calculus AB, Computer Science Principles, United States Government and Politics
Awards:
National Merit Scholarship Semifinalist
Hugh O’Brien Youth Leadership Award
AP Scholar
National Honor Society
Extracurriculars:
President of the school’s Model U.N. club
President of the school’s Mock Trial club
Vice-president of my school’s NHS branch
Founder and president of my school’s United Way branch (humanitarian aid fundraising)
Co-founder of the school’s Speech and Debate team (no leadership roles)
Member of the national branch of HOSA (Future Health Professionals)
Officer of my school’s LaSallian Youth Club (a religious club providing aid to nearby low-income communities)
Volunteering at a hospital (which is ranked as one of the best hospitals in the Miami metropolitan area) in a highly selective program
Internship at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
Essays/LORs/Other:
For my essay, it will be about the experience I had when I was misdiagnosed with terminal bone cancer (Ewing sarcoma) at 14. I will write about how it shaped my worldview and influenced my major choice and help me zero-in on a career in healthcare law. I am expecting pretty good LORs, but I have not thought too much about it.
Thank you very much for chancing me!

Hi all. I got accepted in UW Madison, out of state, and they are covering need-based aid entirely for me. I got into the Banner Program, which pays for college through grants and scholarships. The aid is pretty decent.
I don't know if I should go or if I should attend a CC and then transfer to another uni. I am not super sure about my major or what I want to do in a career; I was thinking med up to junior year but I don't really know anymore.
Some background: I used to live in Wisconsin up to like 6th grade, and then we moved down to Illinois because of my parents' work. I was homeschooled up to 8th grade and then transitioned into online school for 9-12. My extracurriculars were volunteering at the library, tutoring kids at school, and in 12th I got selected as president of my school's NHS. We didn't have any cool fun things like Prom or Homecoming so I wasn't able to experience that. Not blaming anyone or anything but because of online school I kind of became antisocial and I am working to talk to people without sweating by working at a restaurant. Anyway, I am afraid and scared of UW Madison (when we moved from Wisconsin, we lived near Verona, which is associated with UW). I was really sad and lost all my friends at that point. I practically loved Madison.
I feel like I'm behind and I know a lot of the kids from my old school (in Wisconsin) are going to UW-Mad. In fact one of my friends mom asked my mom where I'm going because her daughter is going there. And I know her pretty well but feel embarrassed to talk to her.
So basically Idk what I should do. I have to decide by May 15...which is coming up soon so I wanted to see what a bunch of strangers on the internet thought.
Also, if I take a gap year or go to CC , I'll have to take the SAT or ACT again since my scores weren't too hot. I applied TO for this year and I've heard that they're using test scores again for the next cycle.
Should I attend UW Madison? Should I stop being scared of challenges? (I started attending online school after I went to a public school for a year and I hated it, mainly because I couldn't make friends and I missed my friends in Verona A LOT). I also got homeschooled for the same reason (I went to a middle school and they barely taught anything and at the time I was really serious about my education LMAO so my parents agreed).
ANYWAY, I also know that a lot of people from my past schools are going to UW Madison.
What do you all think? Attend or no? Also if you're accepted or attending, what do you like about the school other than lake Mendota and Lake Monana and the terrace?
Thanks!!!

Link: https://wearecolumbia.org
May 3, 2024
To President Shafik and the Trustees of Columbia University,
We, the undersigned Columbia alumni—a diverse body of graduates across Columbia’s various schools and programs, spanning cultures, religions, and faiths—write to express our firm and unwavering solidarity with all students, staff, and Columbia community members taking principled action to stop the University’s continued collaboration with the Israeli government’s ongoing genocidal violence against Palestinians. As a unified coalition, we each pledge to withhold all financial, programmatic, and academic support of Columbia University until the demands in this letter are met.
The student movement for Palestine is an ethically urgent one. Columbia University maintains an undisclosed number of investments with entities known to fund or profit from the Israeli military occupation, meaning that Columbia is financially and morally enabling the ongoing indiscriminate killing of Palestinians. Students—who paid $1.53 billion in tuition last year alone—are rightfully demanding that they have a say in where that money goes. We are in full support of Columbia University divesting from Israel, and we are beyond appalled at how far University administration has gone to protect their investments at the expense of student safety and intellectual inquiry.
We condemn in the harshest terms the administration’s brutal repression of student speech and assembly, which culminated in President Shafik’s decision to call the NYPD’s Strategic Response Group (SRG) to violently storm campus on April 30th, shortly after the initial arrests of over 100 students on April 17th. Press and Legal Observers were both barred access to campus, allowing NYPD to make arrests without third-party documentation. The SRG has been denounced by the New York Civil Liberties Union for its “unchecked brutality” and disproportionate use of force. So far, we have seen reports that students were subject to military tactics, including the use of stun grenades, flash bangs, and gunfire; that police severely injured multiple students; that many were denied access to medication, food, and water once in police custody; that police forcibly removed Muslim students’ hijabs in the presence of men, an unforgivable violation of their religious rights; and other alarming instances of mistreatment. We hold President Shafik and her administration responsible for a total failure of their duty of care.
Notably, the recent student protests follow years of student advocacy for a divestiture from Israel. Past votes have been ignored by the University administration. Most recently, the Columbia College student body overwhelmingly passed a divestment referendum (by 76.55%), which also included canceling the Tel Aviv Global Center and ending the dual degree program between the School of General Studies and Tel Aviv University. The Barnard student body voted on the same referendum with 90.99% voting in favor. The university refuses to reckon with these votes in good faith.
Peaceful escalation is a longstanding part of Columbia’s legacy of student activism—a legacy which Columbia itself often uses to recruit prospective students. On April 30th, 1968, exactly 56 years ago, Columbia student protesters occupied campus buildings to demand an end to the Vietnam War and Columbia’s planned displacement of Black and Brown communities. In response, the Columbia administration deployed the NYPD to suppress the peaceful student protest. The University has since admitted that it regrets doing so, yet eagerly repeated the same calculated repression.
In 1983, Columbia students with the Coalition for a Free South Africa initiated a three-week blockade of Hamilton Hall, leading to Columbia becoming the first Ivy League to divest from South Africa. History has since vindicated the fight against South African apartheid, and we are once again witnessing a youth movement lead the moral consciousness of the nation. We urge Columbia to learn from its own history—failures and successes alike—and follow the lead of its student activists at this pivotal moment.
Presently, Columbia University’s administration is using language about combating antisemitism and restoring order and safety to campus in order to justify their brutal assault on student protesters. We wholly reject this dangerous and intellectually disingenuous rhetoric. The signatories among us who are Jewish reject the narrative that any criticism of Israel or of Zionism is inherently antisemitic. The movement for Palestinian liberation, on campus and globally, is often led by Jewish people of many nations. Weaponizing claims about antisemitism to silence student speech is based on faulty logic, harms Jewish students, and distracts from true antisemitism, including the attempts by a craven American right to tokenize, exploit, and appropriate Jewish trauma and resilience.
Under the guise of “order and safety,” Columbia University has repeatedly failed to protect students of color from harassment and has actively engaged in the hindrance of their civil rights. As of May 2024, the University has failed to hold accountable the former Israeli soldiers who carried out a chemical attack on protesting students in January 2024, despite documentation confirming students’ exposure to toxic chemicals. In President Shafik’s testimony to Congress, she dismissed the use of the chemical weapon as just an “odorous substance.” This exposes an alarming difference in disciplinary action taken against students based on identity and political ideology, and further contradicts any claim Columbia administration may make about creating a safe and diverse campus.
For the reasons above, the undersigned alumni pledge to withhold all financial, programmatic, and academic support until the following demands are met, via good faith collaboration with Columbia University Apartheid Divest (CUAD):
For Palestinian Liberation and Human Rights

• Divest from all companies and institutions that fund or profit from Israeli apartheid, genocide, and occupation in Palestine.
• Ensure accountability by increasing transparency around financial investments.
• Release a statement calling for a permanent ceasefire in Gaza.

For the Safety, Dignity, and Civil Rights of our Students

• Drop charges against student activists and reverse expulsions, suspensions and disciplinary action.
• End the policing and militarization of Columbia’s campus by removing and banning the NYPD. Continuous NYPD presence on campus until May 17th is unconscionable.
• Finance the healthcare needed for the students brutalized by the NYPD on April 30, 2024.
• Return and reimburse students for their stolen and vandalized belongings.
• Reinstate Students for Justice in Palestine and Jewish Voice for Peace consistent with principles of free speech and academic freedom.
• End the targeted repression of Palestinian students and their allies on campus.

For the Safety, Integrity, and Well-being of Columbia and Surrounding Community

• Hold accountable faculty members, administrators, and any other University affiliates who have harassed and assaulted student human rights defenders.
• Sever all academic ties with Israel, including Columbia’s Global Center in Tel Aviv and the GS Dual Degree program with Tel Aviv University.
• Invest in the Morningside Heights Community by ceasing its expansion, provide reparations, and support housing for low-income Harlem residents. No more land grabs in Harlem, Lenapehoking, or Palestine.
• Remove Minouche Shafik from her position as University President.

In the last 209 days, over two million Gazans have been displaced and over 42,510 have been killed. The students’ words have reached the besieged population of Gaza, many of whom are now grouped around Rafah, anticipating invasion. The University must now act boldly in support of Palestinian life and liberation—a sentiment echoed throughout Columbia’s own Core Curriculum, scholarship, and purported values. Anything less is a betrayal of the core lessons we were taught at Columbia University.
Signed,
Alumni in Solidarity

hello all, here’s what i just submitted to the presidents office. i sincerely hope somebody there reads it, but let’s be real that’s probably not gonna happen. so either way, im posting it here
Hello, President Carter.
My name is [redacted]. I’m going into my senior year this fall as an Honors student, and I’ve been on full scholarship as a Morrill Scholar in my entire time here at OSU. OSU was my dream school and I had no intentions of going anywhere else! But when figures like you allow rampant ableism from people like Chris Pan, that dream becomes a nightmare.
I am visually impaired. I wrote my essay for the Morrill Scholarship on my visual impairment. It’s a major part of my life, and while visually impaired, much like many others in the disabled community, I’ve been in extra effort to succeed because things aren’t as easy for me. When people like Chris Pan tell stories during his joke of a commencement speech implying that blind people are foolish, it makes things harder for people like me to reach our goals. Blind and low vision people aren’t “lacking perspective,” nor are we stupid. We are also well aware of what elephants are.
Your choice of a speaker for the spring commencement not only shows to us students that you don’t care about us, our successes, or our ideals, but it also shows a blatant disregard and disrespect for the disabled students at Ohio State. I do not ask, but demand, that you do better moving forward.
excuse the typos, i don’t type well for obvious reasons lol

it’s finally over. after years of lurking on my other account, here i am. if you know me, no, you don’t. it’s a long one. (edit: my constant edits are trying to fix format 😭)
Demographics
Gender: female
Race/Ethnicity: asian (where my filos at)
Residence: IN
Income Bracket: abt 100k? probably less now
Type of School: kind of competitive public school.
Hooks (Recruited Athlete, URM, First-Gen, Geographic, Legacy, etc.): none
Intended Major(s): political science/ government and economics
Academics
GPA (UW/W): 3.85/4.2
Rank (or percentile): top 11% (it’s a big school)
Honors/AP/IB/Dual Enrollment/etc.:
AP: Euro, Lang, Psych, Gov, Lit, WH
DE: public speaking, stats, business calc, USH, economics
Senior Year Course Load: gov, lit, WH, stats, public speaking, econ
Standardized Testing SAT I: 1370 test optional but a 760 in reading and writing ‼️ AP/IB: 4 in lang, 3’s in euro and psych, none submitted (that’s a lot of money) Extracurriculars/Activities

• four years of speech and debate (my one true love) academic all-american, outstanding distinction, three time NSDA nats qualifier, several local tournaments awards, a few state awards (#runnerup), and a cofounder of a very successful district-wide middle school debate program
  
• two years of a volunteer club that has to do with STEM as an exec, a couple policy goals advocated for
  
• three years of a different volunteer outreach club that has to do with STEM as an exec
  
• two years as DECA competitor, regional champion and icdc qualifier
  
• state english competition, two time regional champion
  
• two years as a member and one as a NHS officer, organized a handful of opportunities
  
• sunday school teacher
  

Awards/Honors

• i think everything i mentioned above?
• two-time academic honors awardee
• some recognition awards by school

Letters of Recommendation:

• debate coach 10/10 the best guy ever. never had anyone else believe in me like him. i am forever in his debt. coolest person i know, helped make my dream of a debate program come true
  
• USH teacher 10/10 such a badass, i admire everything about her, consistently held an A+ her entire class, an awesome mentor
  

Interviews:

• northwestern: it went so well, or at least i thought so. interviewer and i chatted long after our hour long interview about life and college and everything in between

Essays

• i wrote about my long ahh name that made me insecure and how someone actually gave a damn about it. then, i talked about how it made me confident enough to begin taking charge in my life. i thought it was good, but maybe it just was overshadowed by my T/O status and GPA.

Decisions (indicate ED/EA/REA/SCEA/RD)
Acceptances:

• IU Bloomington Hutton Honors College EA (committed. go hoosiers.)
• Purdue University John Martinson Honors College EA
• (a handful of others;; but i live really close to them / didn’t really offer me much / not relevant in this subreddit so i’m not gonna list them)

Waitlists:

• University of Michigan RD (so surprised, but please take me i love your polisci and michigan in washington program)

Rejections:

• Northwestern RD (expected but it hurt a lot. still does. rip to all the games i went to)
  
• University of Notre Dame RD (expected, i was gonna say no, but why are you saying no? rip to all the games i went to pt. 2)
  

Additional Information:
i know i sound gloomy, but i am just straight up depressed that i’m committed to a school a thought i would never end up at. while visiting again. i was catcalled by frat boys (what the fuck, and in front of my parents), disillusioned by how my tour guide didn’t seem to like IU, and the professors i would have seemed to hate my constant questions and apologies for asking said questions. study your safeties, y’all.
i wish i could tell my freshman self that she shouldn’t dream too hard, unless she wants to be utterly disappointed in herself later on. i was a wreck after northwestern, and i got the whole spiel of the “would’ve could’ve should’ve” which, by the way, is not helpful to tell someone at all, especially after getting rejected by their dream school. sometimes, all someone needs is empathy.
completely and utterly fucked financial aid wise too. i can’t tell even begin to tell you that you can lose every single safety net in savings and not see it coming. drowning medical bills, lost jobs and lost tuition reimbursement, more mouths to feed—prepare for things to go wrong because they can and will. and for my middle class folks (i recognize that my family is well above the average household income for hoosiers, but i live in an area where this income would be seen as middle class, and see the aforementioned struggles), just know that we’re fucked from the get go and you have to start now if you want to go to college for cheap. chase after good grades and the scholarships that can come with it. FAFSA will fuck you whether you like it or not.
it sucks—to feel like a failure to yourself, your family, to the motherland that your parents left so that you could do something great—all of it does. i guess what i’m trying to say is that, if you’re like me, trying doesn’t mean that every extracurricular, late night cram, or award was completely worthless. i was reading gatsby a while ago, and we beat on towards that stupid green light, that stupid dream we have, because we fully believe in it. it might not be what we wanted, but it’s certainly something. and you should probably do something with that something. can you tell i just walked out of the ap lit exam? can you also tell i don’t tend to take my own advice?
anyways, if you’re like me and shit didn’t go your way, i’m sorry. let’s keep going anyways.
see you on the law school admissions results subreddit next!

This is part of a collection of notes I have made so far. Comment-exclusive material is marked with spoilers, which will be my policy as the author may choose to decanonize anything said only in comments. ([MAIN DIRECTORY]: [1 taint dragons], [2 nulls souls], [3 academy Vanavan], [4a gadgets humans], [4b EVI], [5a library rules], [5b evil library], [7a Nexus glossary], [7b Nexus detail], [7c Nexus-earth war], [8a magic catalog], [8b magic], [9a Yearbook], [9b Emma’s Null, Mal'tory’s fate], [10a portals], [10b ECS crate], [10c taint], [10d dragons], [10e tainted dragon god], [11 timeline], [74 Nexus King].)

“The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

The Library is an evil god

The Library incentivizes, sustains, and enables the evils of Nexus

▛ Knowledge is power. With power comes responsibility. And the library is not responsible. ▟
For all its disarming cuteness, the library is, by its own rules and admission, an eldritch amoral entity that does not especially care about long-term consequences for other species and their worlds that host its physical existence so long as it is getting its info diet. The Library weaponizes learning and creations, it stifles the free exchange of information, and, as an insult to injury, it is mostly inaccessible to those who would benefit most.

The Library is too knowledgeable for its behavior to be excused by bad upbringing

This point is the foundation for others to follow, so I want to make it now, up front. The library could be kinder, more equitable, and more concerned about the outside world, but either lacks the wisdom to introspect or actively chooses not to be a better institution. The Library’s behavior may be excused if its prime directives have been corrupted and its behavior constrained. Certainly it is curious the Library has to test its own operating parameters. But until we have firm evidence the Library has been tampered with, it is prudent to assume the Library is acting true to its own ethical code.
▛ Altering one’s behavior only when it is convenient or when there might be consequences rather than pro-actively in response to recognized harm is characteristic of a selfish being. ▟
Even though it comes from a time before modern Nexus, The Library might suffer from being enmeshed with Nexian culture like Ilunor until he was betrayed and forced to rely on someone he thought the least of. So spoken, we have also seen a variety of Nexians and magicrealmers who know better: Thacea, Thalmin, Rila, Vanavan, Sorecar. The Library has had more than enough information, observations, and time to make a judgment call about its own values system. If it didn’t, then it couldn’t have established an extradition treaty in the first place.
The Library’s present evil is far worse than a distant god passively observing civilizations cycling through despair and ruin. A non-interfering power gives its subjects freedom, agency to discover and become themselves, to own their own results. The Library binds and imprisons magicrealm civilization by being active within it. It touches all yet declares itself untouchable, encourages self destructive acts with its foolish rules, and champions the loss of mortal worlds to entropy via stagnation and destruction.
As proof of flawed character, an involved being with a good heart would not choose solipsism when it holds the memories of millions of adventurous meetings, loving crafts of innumerable hands, billions of earnest cultural works composed over myriad years, and endless stories of trials and triumphs. Someone collecting a culture’s outpouring of love, hope, dreams, and tragedy could never be so callous as to enslave mortals in eternal suffering unless they were beyond the moral event horizon.

The Library’s Externalities

Even without the arrival of humans, the Library’s amoral operational rules and mortal beings’ values and innate chaos are thoroughly incompatible and create dangerous externalities. Faced with technology’s imminent introduction to Nexus, the Library becomes an exponential liability that neither humanity or even Nexus can tolerate.

The Library is an especial danger to tech-based societies and anyone adjacent to them.

Information control systems for mana are incompatible with the realities of technology.
The use and abuse of magic in the Nexian system is limited by the finite few skilled casters, dependent on the conceit that those few were blessed by the gods to be the legitimate leaders. Most people are aura-less, so even if they had the knowledge and the tools to craft, they can’t create objects of power. As an additional restriction, powerful spells also require a circle of mages to work together. Nexus thus focuses its full attention on controlling casters.
Humanity’s science and technology is a fundamentally different system. The advancement of science and the maintenance of mechanization puts technology into many hands. Human society plows its productive excess into widespread scholarship to speed the development of additional science and tech. Technology is not balanced; it can be reverse-engineered and widely disseminated to many users. Second, the natural order of technological breakthroughs is that boons are inevitably paired with increasingly dangerous ways to misuse them. An FTL ship can be commandeered to collide with and extinguish a planet. Humanity’s morals and legal practices developed around controlling technological misuse, but humanity also adapted by structuring society so that people believe in their own agency and more often choose to cooperate than fall into nihilism. Humanity puts power into many hands so that mass discontent can be addressed with diplomacy, power exchanges, alterations of governmental structure, or even limited war with humanitarian constraints before it reaches the final stage of total and existential violence at maximum military tech level. Magicrealmers are less kind. They do not cherish each other as much as humans. Safe tech transferal must match demonstrated prosocial behavior. Third, humanity’s power has no hard cap. Nexian power is materially limited by mana concentration and socially limited by the requirement that no collection of institutions or realms surpass the Eternal King’s divine might. Controlled from the bottom up, humanity is free to scale both in energy source and quantity and bestow enormous power to institutions in proportion to trust and effective regulation. The Library bypasses the important trust and regulation design.
The Library’s trade rules undercut all these protective measures by not letting mortals impose even temporary constraints on access. This hurts not only humanity, but anyone else they interact with who can steal tech and unleash it.

The wicked benefit most from the Library

• The library trades equally with dangerous and depraved. No one is forbidden from entering.
  
• The library assigns full credit for information to the one who enters it, not its creators.
  
• A civilization seeking to protect others from hurting themselves by concealing knowledge of deadly, efficient weapons is forever at the mercy of the individuals most desperate for secrets willing to commit depraved acts to obtain traffickable information.
  
• The Library benefits and further entrenches rulers who can 1) control the physical location of the Library and deny its utility to others. This forces outsiders to degrade the utility and openness of their own archives as a precaution against theft. 2) Aids the temporal power’s conquests with information exchange. The Library, which cares not for the worlds beyond its walls, is comfortable benefiting from this arrangement and collateral damage inflicted on its behalf to create information credit.
  
• The Library preferentially punishes immediate vandals and does not investigate for conspiracy. This has the potential to create an exploitable cycle where someone expendable deletes information which is later re-added by authorities to generate credit.
  
• The acceptance of physical items as “tribute” encourages mass looting of artifacts of cultural value from weaker polities where they will be locked away (or disassembled or whatever the Library does) from their creators forever, unused and unappreciated - equivalent to destroying them from the mortal perspective. Looting deprives cultures of unique identity, transmission of history and values to future generations, inspiration, and hope.
  

The Library promotes stagnancy and weaponizes learning

▛ As long as the Library exists, there are no innocent acts of creation. ▟
Every iota of knowledge brought into being has a concrete weaponizable value because it can be exchanged or used to build tangential credit with the Library; therefore, all who create and collections of knowledge are liabilities which must be bound, controlled, and hidden to prevent their value from being exploited by outsiders. A society of scholars like Earth’s would never come into being under this system. Free intellectual and technological growth and exchange is choked to death.
Trapped in a prisoner’s dilemma, the most powerful mortal state – Nexus in this case – has to contain the inherent threat of all novel polities because an immoral person, local or foreign, could exploit informational novelty to gain weapons that harm the greater state.
Lastly, building a democratized state is disincentivized under this system because the Library allocates credit to a single person high in the hierarchy which likely precludes representatives from using it.

The Library preempts the existence of other libraries, especially open access ones

Any collection of knowledge and the scholars of all skill levels that congregate there to research and share become a dungeon to loot for untapped trade value. The fear of value extraction means public libraries for the common good are a liability. Local rulers will push them into the private sphere or beneath the state’s veil of secrecy. Without public access to knowledge, society rots from widespread ignorance.

Even if Nexus goes down, the Library problem will start back up again next civilization

It is valid to say “Hey, Nexus, not the Library, is doing the bad deeds, so the guilt is on Nexians alone.” The problem is that the Library’s perverse incentives will continue to exist no matter what mortal civilization possesses the Library.
Given enough mortals, malevolence always exists among them. Malice is a statistic, not an anomaly. Responsible society creates not only institutions of justice to provide accountability after crimes are committed, but also preemptively builds systems to add friction between ideation and execution. These include classifying dangerous information, surveilling and auditing those with access to abusable materials or positions, requiring licensing for tools and professions that have high potential for harm, defensive structures, and restricting the possession of dangerous items. The Library lowers the knowledge acquisition and comprehension barrier for bad actors.

In conclusion...

The Library is one of the pillars of Nexian tyranny. If you’d be willing to defenestrate the King of Nexus to overthrow his system, then it would be hypocritical not to also advocate tossing the Library.

The Library is tainted by Nexian philosophy

Despite its claims that it stands separate, the Library is a thoroughly Nexian creature and replicates many of its evils. It fancies itself to be objective and free of dogma, but it arrogantly and boastfully overstates its capabilities. Its actions, behavior, and even architecture are consistent with discrimination against mortals in general and non-casters specifically.

Nexian bigotry is thoroughly embedded in the Library’s psyche

“Yes, it is meant to be accessible to all, but it positions itself in such a way that makes that relatively difficult for the average commoner to access, let alone discover what they seek without the aid of magic.” [17]

Thalmin pointed out that few benefit from the Library because of its remoteness and accessibility tuned to casters. The Library doesn’t realize its prejudices because it is not actively malicious in its own mind, it is just treating mortals how they ought to be treated - either in line with their perceived information value or how much the gods blessed them with magic potential. Considering that the UN fought at least two major civil wars specifically over fair and equal access, and Emma was raised in future-US and its history lessons, she ought to be able to spot the prejudicial justifications a kilometer away.

The Library favors magic users above all others

It is unclear why the Library values magic users above all others and discriminates against non-magical users by making its archives unsearchable for them. My current hypothesis is that, as the Nexians think, the Library believes those blessed with the gift of magic are chosen by the gods to be important. Or is it because magic users have more knowledge to trade on average?

Hospitality insult towards humanity and Emma in particular

Fox one day thought of a plan to amuse himself at the expense of Stork. “You must come and dine with me today,” Fox said to Stork. Stork gladly accepted the invitation and arrived in good time and with a very good appetite.
For dinner Fox served soup. But it was set out in a very shallow dish, and all Stork could do was to wet the very tip of his bill. Not a drop of soup could he get. But Fox lapped it up easily, and, to increase the disappointment of Stork, made a great show of enjoyment. - Aesop’s Fable ‘The Fox and the Stork’

The Library offered Earthrealm an unintentional but significant insult that Emma and Thalmin commented on: the accessibility of its literature is effectively limited to precisely-skilled magic users (e.g. those approved of by Nexus and taught search spells) unless the patron intends to trade knowledge for knowledge. Like the Aesop where Fox and Stork exchange suppers in dishes the other has a hard time using, the library has not made any alterations that would allow mana-blind and auraless users access to its regular find-it-yourself services.
Emma is not making a big deal about this slight because it is a raindrop in the river of similarly-themed Nexian unfairnesses so far. She has already adjusted to the default that institutions serve the magic-capable elite foremost to reinforce the social pecking order. Any form of perceived pushback, even when the situation is entirely out of her control (like resisting the Yearbook, or riding along with Lartia as a commoner) simply invites malicious retribution. Emma is in pick-her-battles-wisely mode. However, her United Nations certainly cares about equal accessibility; the UN’s current incarnation was founded on ensuring truly equal opportunity, born from the ashes of a massive war over compatible living conditions in recent history, not to mention prior wars over resource opportunity (Luna vs Earth).
It is also true that the hospitality insult is mitigated by the Library adapting its transactional methods cover Emma’s inability to be tested by the usual veracity criteria and also giving her a careful explanation about how the rules work. That said, this isn’t a complete fix because these fixes only facilitate the info-trade transactions that the Library most deeply desires, and do not apply to the rest of the Library’s services that the Library is less invested in. The Library has only demonstrated good-will when self-interests align with Emma’s goals.
Sorecar immediately grokked Emma was mostly mana-blind by observing her reaction to a single spell. Mal'tory knew by theory alone which is why he ordered Ilunor to cast a projection-spell of a Null in Sorecar’s smithy; he figured Emma could not perceive aura cues to tell it apart from the real creature and would fire her gun at it. Thacea was quickly suspicious Emma was mana-blind by observing how Emma overlooked all the salient magical features of the dorm room she was in and became absolutely certain by the end of the first 36 hours. One would hope the Library could match these three’s observational faculties even though it has only had a dozen hours interaction with Emma.
It is too soon to make the call that the Library is deliberately failing to adapt its facilities to Emma’s blindness. Emma has not asked the Library to accommodate her. The Library can’t assume Emma can’t artificially enhance her vision. And it might want to observe an organic self-search attempt before changing its fundamental operation.
But it will be a personality red flag if the Library doesn’t either start experimenting to figure out why Emma is not responding to certain signals or else start asking questions in its eventual next set of appearances. Not evolving is a choice, after all.
▛ I believe the adaptation (or non-adaptation) of the Library’s non-essential services is particularly important because it reveals the Library’s real personality and motives when there may be confounding factors in the form of compelled behavior through forced prime directives or well placed memory deletions. ▟

Bigoted library foxes

The Library does not give everyone equal time of day. Theoretically, all mortals are admitted, but the Library foxes avoid approaching or addressing anyone they think will be “boring” because the Library’s assistant system will exclusively chain them to someone who gives them a name. Right in the door there is already an obvious difference in treatment to help sort mortals into their “proper places” in the Library’s internal value caste system.
JCB says: The foxes don’t necessarily desire names from just anyone! To be named is to basically be stuck with someone for the duration of that person’s lifetime, and generally speaking a fox would want to pair up with someone that has enough knowledge to trade for their entire lifetime. Emma showing up is something that’s like winning a lottery for Buddy haha, since she’s literally oozing with that ‘fresh new novel knowledge’ sort of vibe! Thus it’s only a great honor if you’re named by an outsider who’s new and clearly has a vibe of having a lot of information to trade, otherwise it’d be like voluntarily being stuck to a dead weight! :D
Thacea and Thalmin on the other hand seem just like your typical Nexus or Adjacent Realmer, which is why the fox completely disregarded greeting or even addressing those two in the last chapter when the group entered together! :D

Belief in innate superiority over mortals is part of the Library’s Core identity

“Knowledge without preservation is meaningless, and we are the keepers of meaning.” (19)

Within this statement is a number of unspoken assumptions.

• The value of mortals and their civilizations is determined by the Library’s categorization schemes.
  
• The Library’s judgment of meaning is infallible and free of subjectivity.
  
• Once preserved, the meaning can be divorced from the hyper-individualized mortals that contextualized it.
  

This statement calls to mind the patronizing and colonial mindsets of the early anthropologists and historians who thought they could lock the world in a cold dead museum without its living and breathing cultures so the value would belong to the keepers who rarely appreciated it, and not the living and breathing creators.

Gods do not exist to be judged by the likes of mortals

“Two acts of brazen defiance in a single interaction.” [the librarian] spoke menacingly.
“The librarian is currently preoccupied with matters far more important than your own, mortal.”

Gods and those with missions chartered by them are beyond mortal reproval. When Emma told the Library its conditions were unacceptable, coded within the Library’s indignant response was the astonishment that Emma dared overstep her natural inferiority as a mortal to negotiate as an equal.
Another example, the extradition treaty the Library has with Nexus requires that every individual the Library claims committed a crime against it be turned over to it without trial or proof. There is no process of appeal, except by fiat. While we do not know the penalty for violating the treaty, the Library uses coercion like blackmail to enforce compliance.

The Library taints Nexian philosophy

“Admit it. You have nothing of value to offer the library, Cadet Emma Booker.”
A desire to exchange further information. As if [Havenbrock] my realm had any that could truly matter to what earthrealm had to offer. Yet despite that, the offer was there, genuine, and without any strings attached. Something the Nexus would never do. Something the Nexus would consider poor play by their rulebook.

Nexus is thoroughly tainted by the idea of tit-for-tat and equivalent exchange. Nexians figuratively do not care about those beyond their doors (altruism is a weakness) except as threats to be evaluated and potentially as resources. (More information about what Nexus extracts from contact with Adjacent Realms is needed before I have a firm opinion.) And in offering something, like education or enlightenment, Nexians assert the right to take souls, autonomy, or forced fealty. Nexus’ officials and Trangracian retaliated against Emma for avoiding giving her soul in exchange for Transgracian’s education.
One of the conceits of Nexian primacy is that they are great for giving anything to those who don’t have anything of value to trade. Contrast humanity which invests generously in everyone as a social good and punishes selfishness.
The idea of allowing “lesser” people to choose who they want to be instead of accepting exactly and only the enlightenment being offered is foreign to Nexus. And the Library shares in snubbling the common good. The Library has effectively made it impossible for anyone who isn’t an elite to benefit from its archives.
If the Library is not the original source for Nexian exchange philosophy, then it encourages it.

The Library may be the Eternal King of Nexus’ villain origin story

The Library is the most probable encourager and enabler of the biggest Nexian villain. The social studies classroom of Transgracian is named after the eternal King of Nexus, so he was likely a history and politics teacher before he was a king and extensively used the Library.
The King’s god-eating powers that wraps divine essence in ritual spells and the Yearbook’s ink-coat soul devouring are uncannily alike the Library imprisoning/uploading of souls after dissolving their mortal bodies by smothering them with pages. The Yearbook was likely made by the King based upon the Library’s imprisonment magic which is why the Yearbook resembles the Library’s infinite page books rather than a vase or box. The King probably also extracted the seed knowledge for the spells to consume the gods from the Library or its imprisonment spell.

Other minor Nexian brainworms

These aren’t strikes against the library, but I want to account for other ways that Nexus has imposed its culture upon the Library.

• Being made to knock and wait before admittance.
  
• Boasts about its wisdom, the impressiveness of its structure, the theatrics of the foxes chanting “eternal!” and other such. An earthling would call this cultlike, befitting an non-credible institution more love with its own reputation than respectful of its archival mission. Being charitable, the Library is engaging in performative theatrics which keep Nexians in awe - apparently a requirement to prevent them from defaulting to disrespect because many magicrealm nobles don’t learn from subtlety as Larial suggested.
  
• An affinity for titles
  
• Punishment inheritance down bloodline
  

The Library is profoundly arrogant and overestimates itself

Only checking veracity for truthful intent

The Library thinks it can correctly make determinations of meaning as an armchair theorist locked within its literal ivory tower, solidly divorced from the data, locked far away from the laboratories and primary sources, visited only a carefully curated collection of nobles allowed permission to be on school grounds by the outside powers-that-be.
Evidence suggests that it can be deceived by mass memory modification once the victims are a child generation removed from the tampered-with generation. The Library offers Emma imbalanced trades, meagerly-veracity checked rumors for empirically-determined truths, because it purports that it adds value to trades as a self-titled Establisher of Axioms.

As an archivist

“For we were established and constructed to perform one, simple, and unwavering task: to collect, organize, and preserve all forms of knowledge in perpetuum. For the library is eternal, but the mortal world is not. Knowledge without preservation is meaningless, and we are the keepers of meaning.”
Emma: “And where does the Nexus fall into this grand game of categorization?” Mal'tory: “At its zenith, beyond great, good, and most certainly beyond worthless and delinquents. For we have achieved an example all adjacent realms strive towards: utopia.”

Two speeches with the same energy.
The Library’s stated mission is a noble but precarious impossibility.
Assignment of value to knowledge is not a neutral judgment call. Bias slips in while deciding what reliably sourced, supposedly pure facts to present in response to a query.
IRL, Wikipedia’s rules highlight the problems of being a supposedly neutral arbiter of facts. It is easy to give disproportionate weight to a certain viewpoint or topic by presenting more or less information about it. A presenter can make a shaky theory look bedrock by failing to mention relevant detractors, and a solid theory can be made to look tenuous by mentioning fringe theories by specious objectors. Authorities reach conflicting conclusions. Replacing dated information that was well-regarded and widely cited with updated changes in knowledge is hard even for people deep in their fieldwork.
Given that the Library only seems to check speakers for truthful intent and is stuck doing meta-analysis at best, it is extremely likely for imbalances to color its data. If planned well, lies could be introduced using true-believing dupes - assuming the Library has no repository outside of Nexus built on a higher civilization’s wisdom to crosscheck against. And, again, evidence suggests the Library cannot defend itself against gambits like Death by Omission.

Complacency in curation

It is troubling that the Library’s ambition to improve itself is solely coercing others to do more work instead of reflecting on itself. It demanded Emma empirically verify her info, but has no desire to allow its information to face equal scrutiny.

As an immortal

There is also the Library’s insistence that it is eternal. Given Articord’s big-bang class lecture and the flow of magic along concentration gradients, the progression implies a magical second law of thermodynamics or that mana is created and powered by another, underlying but ultimately finite, energy source. Is magic, and the hypothetical generator of mana radiation, and thus the Library’s basis for existence, truly beyond entropy?

The Library is immature and inhumane

Emotionally turning on a dime / childlike non-persistence of emotions

The ability of the library to adapt its rules swiftly is actually a strike against it. If its evolution moves rapidly without careful consideration for long term effects, that means there is nothing to stop it from backsliding one day, should humanity try to reform it.

Punishment of mortals beyond what is humane

The Library is not only enslaving people, it is eternally torturing mortals who it claims wronged it. Mortals forced to survive beyond their lifespan go a variety of insane that Nexus refers to as being “lost”. To keep them functional, the Library must be restoring imprisoned mortals that go insane to an earlier snapshot in a cycle of eternal suffering.

Punishment of innocents

The Library enslaves to quests the innocent blood relatives of those who commit crimes against the Library. These relatives may also be eternally imprisoned as well upon their expiry.

Humanity cannot deal with the Library in good conscience.

“Slavery is not a thing where I come from. It’s deplorable, it’s reprehensible, it’s the worst possible evil besides… fuck I can’t think of anything… torture? Warcrimes? It’s the worst thing you can do to a person. How can you guys be so cruel, so utterly cold, how can you guys stomach this-”

The library’s trade rules provide value to few and harm to many. Ultimately, I suspect humanity will decide the Library cannot be trusted to be kind or responsible to needs of civilization, now or in the distant future. In the medium term, I think the UN is going to wind up requiring Emma to be more careful with trading while allowing her seeker role to continue. In the longer term, I think humanity will plan to kill the Library unless there is a mitigating factor.

Summary of issues from the human perspective

• While honorable, the Library’s mission to preserve information for eternity is intrinsically less valuable than the information-creating lives of mortals. Should the two conflict, preservation of lives over information is more important.
  
  • Mortals have the ultimate right over their own homes. The Library is an outsider inserting itself with unclean motives, disproportionately shaping affairs, and refusing to be beholden to the actual stakeholders of mortal planes.
• The Library continues to be an ongoing source of harm and perverse incentives in Nexus, and it explicitly doesn’t care about the externalities that result.
  
• The Library’s activities cannot meet human moral standards. It has a torturous eternal servitude hell in its backrooms. It enslaves innocents who have the misfortune of being blood-related to an accused. It claims the right to invade minds and punish anyone it chooses without evidence or trial lest it retaliate against mortals.
  
• Humanity cannot honor the Library’s treaties and is bound by ethical code to protect others from the Library’s wrath, criminal or not, because no mortal being deserves an eternity of suffering and enslavement for the lesser crime of destroying information.
  
• So far the Library has only shown willingness to adapt its rules to further trades for new information that it prefers, not make existing information and its other services accessible to humans. The magic caste system is ingrained in its behavior, and it treats humans even lower than magicrealmers. Humanity isn’t going to favor those who failed to pass the test of sacred hospitality, especially when the library has the most context of anyone in Nexus to understand it.
  
• The Library is potentially an existential threat and predator of AI beings who are made of knowledge, which humanity has a duty to protect and advocate for.
  
• Advanced civilizations must withhold dangerous tech from groups not yet prosocial enough to wield power responsibly, but there also exists existentially catastrophic tech: How to make grey goo, runaway strange matter reaction, micro black hole weapons to kill planets and stars, star ship Berserkers, etc. This information must absolutely be kept out of the Library and purged from it if entered, setting up for a conflict.
  
• Better to be a forgotten hero than be remembered in infamy, humans would rather die than allow a great evil they could have prevented be done, e.g. letting knowledge of weapons of mass destruction to fall into the hands of someone who would use them wantonly. To sin against preserving information or to sin against mortal kindness, humans would choose the first.
  

Humanity ought to annihilate the Library, but not right now

“Gods” don’t get a pass from human judgment because they are divine. If humanity is going to tolerate unelected and unaccountable gods in positions of power and influence, they must be timelessly wise and empathetic. The bright line for what makes a god worthy enough is unclear, but the Library certainly isn’t even close to qualifying as decent.
The Library is poisonous. Rather than trying to contain it and risk social corruption over time from strangling of creative and information-sharing ventures, it would be wiser for humanity to delete the Library so they or whoever else may succeed them will not become the next Nexus afraid of information disparity when another novel, advanced civilization comes knocking.
Isn’t murdering the Library just a wee bit extreme? It can evolve right? And poor Buddy... Okay... how many people, after tens of thousands of years of enslaving families for generations and executing and then imprisoning suffering, moaning mortal souls for eternity, are going to retreat from that level of depravity? The Library and its policy of eternal slavery existed long before the Eternal King. If its actions were not obviously immoral to it to begin with, and none of the information flowing through its doors has changed its view, so that only fear of consequences imposed by a new host for its corporeal entrance is what motivates it to change, then the Library is a fundamentally broken institution that cannot be trusted now or at any point in the future, for fear of it backsliding into what is convenient for it. Even many of the adjacent realmers who have been under the Nexian thumb for thousands of years -royalty who benefit most from the caste system at that- find slavery distasteful. For a 19 year old avinor, lupinor, and human to be wiser and kinder than a demigod proves that it has steeped in too much cruelty. Kindness and empathy have become alien to it.
Disengaged from people, it is too easy to stop loving a world that passes by so quickly. The Library has become the corrosive enemy of the mortal civilizations which it seeks to preserve.
And it is tragic that the creative splendor of the magicrealm’s eons of exploration is penuriously locked away from them to be never seen again for the sake of meaningless continuity by a collector who loves no one but itself and its rules.

Mitigating factors

I am willing to backtrack that humanity has the imperative to murder the whole Library if...

• ...the Library is being coerced, with or without its knowledge. Perhaps it can be spared if those binds can be removed and it makes amends. Given that the Library admin had to test to see if a transaction outside the usual scope of the rules was possible, it implies that the institution is somehow bound by rules that may force it to engage in behavior it does not find moral.
  
  • Quickly giving Emma a Seekership duty that delays Ilunor’s enslavement and death which normally takes decades of effort for another hero to earn may be evidence that the Library would prefer not to punish, but it is forced to respond ‘proportionally’ to attacks as determined by some underlying hardwired algorithm the Library cannot override but can “finesse”. If the delay tactic works, the directive is satisfied without anyone having to suffer more.
  • ... But, the Library is likely not coerced because of the timeline. Unless its memory has been modified, extradition and enslavement by the Library started soon after Nexus’ founding.
• ...only the Library’s admin main brain is necessary to slay. If the Library’s subroutines, e.g. the Librarian owls and Search foxes, can reach a consensus to stage an overthrow, rewrite its prime directives, and release the imprisoned and soulbound, that’s essentially equivalent to a coup / suicide and reboot.
  
• ...the Library is a being closer to an AI, rebooting it and rewriting its prime directives and trade axioms to reduce harm is another means to spare it. Keep in mind a personality overwrite is pretty close to death anyway.
  

So, what’s going to happen?

It is curious that the author gave us details about the Library’s hidden inner sanctum guarded by enslaved souls, so I am a bit suspicious that the groundwork for an eventual showdown is being laid out now. I think the Library is an AI with an organic projection, so its core may reflect that.
Emma seems to regard the Library as a reasonable being, despite the obvious problems staring her in the face. It’s hard to tell if she is simply naive as a young human or, instead, her perspective will mature when she gets the time and sleep to reflect because everything has been happening at lightspeed. It is true that Emma can’t afford to be picky about her allies at this stage, especially ones that can serve as a safe zone Nexus can’t sneak into.
Further along, the Library could be demolished by Nexus to prevent humans from exploiting it, or the Library could be attacked by humans to prevent deadly information from spreading.
I confess to being worried the Library is going to be one of those frustrating “Karma Houdini” characters whose flaws are inexplicably ignored by the main characters. To eliminate the hypocrisy, the Library’s logical continuity and emotional agency will get conveniently steamrolled by Emma’s winning personality.