Guess I’m looking for opinions and some sort of closure from them, but here it goes.
Some background, my father got kidney failure pretty quickly and was disabled from it. So, he couldn’t do much work wise but still took care of the house. I (about to be 20 this year) was around 13-14 years old and my younger brothers, 11 and 12 when it started. He would go to dialysis three times a week, help take care of groceries, bills, and of course my siblings and I. It was rough but things were good, we were all okay.
My family had to move to another state for my mom’s job, and to be closer to family when my dad does die. Sadly, many people on dialysis don’t live super long, so we went for it and moved a bit before the end of my junior year in high school.
So new state, new school, and of course, a lot of new people. My dad was the same as usual, and my mom busy as usual with work.
Sadly, my dad then passed away from a stroke that put him brain dead, and was only ‘alive’ with being on life support. Traumatizing to say the least seeing his body twitch a lot in the hospital, tubes connected to his body, and no response at all. My mom stayed by his side the whole time, and doctors continuing to tell us ‘I’m sorry’ as my dad couldn’t be saved. So my mom signed papers to take him off life support and let him die naturally. His official death was three days after the stroke.
We had my dad’s side of the family come over to see him, much anger towards them, but that’s a whole other thing. One of my aunts helped with getting my dads urn and have him cremated. Then my mom decided to look through his phone to see pictures of him and see the videos of when my parents and I went to see a band together as my graduation gift. And she was grossed out a bit to see his dick pics and thought he was being his little perverted self. Of course when I heard her say that, I went upstairs as I had no intention to look at that.
Then my younger brother came up stairs to tell me and my other brother that my dad had been cheating on my mom for years and my mom found out through his messaging apps and the amount of photos and videos he had from his meet ups.
To say my mom was heart broken is an understatement. She was livid, depressed, and confused as to why he would do that to her, as he would constantly show and tell her and others how much he loved my mom and how she is the love of his life. Many things were connecting and some of his behaviors were weird from time to time and started to make some sort of sense to all of us.
Now currently, I still live with my mom and help a lot with taking care of my brothers, they’re now gonna be 18 and 19 now, but still have a lot to learn as I am the only one to know how to drive, besides my mom. I work full time as I decided to stop college and save money for myself and my girlfriend to be able to live by ourselves and be able to afford other things like my own car.
My mom is constantly out for work, some times with her friends or her date, out working out, eating out, and buying quite a bit of things for herself. And I’m stuck with taking care of the house, help clean, drive my siblings to their appointments, school events, and have to constantly cook food or buy it for me and my siblings to eat.
I love my mom and care for her, but sometimes it’s hard to not dislike her a lot of the time. She believes that I’m ungrateful, I’m a hypocrite, and now I can’t be open with my depression and how I am suicidal at times to her. She makes a whole big deal and gets upset about it too. I wish she was a mom to me and my siblings instead of a woman who only brings money for the bills and little bit of groceries for us to use.
Not the best feeling when I can’t have some sort of emotional support from her. Also sucks when she would complain with how my brothers and I don’t hangout with her when she has never much asked and doesn’t really show interest in us.
So that’s really it here, any advice for this kinda thing would be appreciated. And thanks for reading, I’ll answer any questions you all have

I am seeking someone with whom I can engage in deep conversations, exchanging thoughts on how we live our lives, our perspectives, and what we make of existence as we await our inevitable demise. I am looking for someone whose outlook on life aligns with mine, with whom we can collectively find the best way to live out our allotted time. Together, we will share our plans and goals, discussing our understanding of various matters.
I would be delighted if you, upon deciding to write to me, could explain why you chose to do so and share a bit about yourself, to streamline our initial conversations.
Some of my reflections and views on life: - I've come to realize that happiness for me won't come from having a big house, an expensive car, or even a family. Happiness, for me, lies in improving people's lives. Eventually, I'll die (like everyone else), and if I only live for myself, it would be meaningless—everything will go with me to the grave. But if I create something that improves people's lives, something that remains even after I'm gone, it gives meaning to my own life and brings me hope and happiness. I'm willing to dedicate my life to this, to improving the lives of others. - I'm interested in philosophy not just as a hobby, but as a necessity for determining the direction of life and how to approach it, understanding what to do in this life. - I often ponder the meaning of life in the face of inevitable death (because what comes after death greatly influences what to do with life). - I'm interested in what to do in life and how to spend it. The typical scenario of finding a job with good pay, buying a house, starting a family, retiring, and dying doesn't appeal to me (but I don't have anything against it). If you resonate with these sentiments, I eagerly await your response.

Tl;dr: bought a “trade-in” e-bike from a well-regarded local bike shop, they didn’t tell me the battery key was missing, bike can’t be charged without the key, what do? See questions at end of post.
Last Saturday, I purchased a used Breezer from a local bike shop and love it. I was so pleased to find a trade-in for about 40% off retail. The employees helping me mounted a new seat for me (seat on it had a gouge/gash) and gave me a discount on the basket and seat I bought new. They said that I’d have free tune-ups at 30 and 90 days. I figured used bike = no warranty so I didn’t ask any questions about that.
Lo and behold when we got home, there was no battery key in the box with the charger. I called the shop and let them know we didn’t see a key in the box. Employee said, “oh, sorry about that, let me look around and I’ll call you back.”
I hadn’t heard anything back from them after three full business days, so I called the shop today to ask. It turns out the reason the former owner traded it in was because they lost the key. But no one told me that when I bought the dang thing! I told the employee that it would have been nice to know BEFORE I bought the bike, because that might have changed my decision! I said that I wanted them to cover the cost of having a locksmith pick it/make a key for me. The employee said he’d call the owner and give me a call back.
While I waited, I did some digging through the one- and two-star ratings on the shop’s reviews on Google and Yelp. One of the google reviews was pretty sharp and mentioned that one of the owners had contacted them multiple times to take down their one-star review. All of the shop’s responses to reviews (even the negative reviews) were professional and polite - none of the shitty answers that some business owners post. So I’m alternating between “oh hell what kind of response am I going to get to this request” and “I’m sure it will be fine”. And throw in some self-recriminations “why the hell didn’t I check the charging box!!”
The owner called back this afternoon but his call went directly to VM courtesy of Silence Unknown Callers. I’m calling him back in the morning with my husband (who was at the shop with me when I bought the bike). I wasn’t going to call the guy back today because I am still new at this job and don’t want to make personal calls in the middle of a cube farm.
Additional info: I’ve ridden it multiple times instead of driving and it is a dream. It had 767 miles on it and had a full charge when I left the shop on Saturday. Handle covers were a little grungy but that’s no big deal - those can easily be replaced. I’m not going to ask if I’m justified in being angry that this shop sold me a $2k ebike with NO way to charge it without telling me as much, because what the hell, that’s like selling me a car that I can’t ever refill with gas.
So. Point of my post is: Would you rather return the bike (remember this was about 40% off retail new price) or have a locksmith help? How much should I plan to pay to have a locksmith deal with this? I’ve never had to deal with a locksmith - any tips or info to help me be ready?

When my siblings and I were young, my parents weren’t interest in helping us solve our sibling fights and didn’t allow us to express negative emotions. Ideally, we would always be calm, quiet, and happy, no matter what we actually felt or were experiencing. Any negative emotions or fighting would result in screaming from my parents.
Of the three of us siblings, I was the one who “talked back” to my parents. When I tried to tell them why what they did hurt me or how I was feeling, I often got told I had a “chip on my shoulder.” I didn’t really understand this term, but I knew they were criticizing me for speaking up for myself.
One day, I was getting ready for a softball game when something happened that resulted in my parents screaming at me on the car ride to the ball field. I was crying and miserable, and I asked to go home because my eyes were red and puffy and I didn’t want my friends to see me. They accused me of being dramatic and oversensitive, and made me get out of the car and walk over to my team. My friend, S, realized I had been crying and asked if I was OK. My mom heard her and said to S, “She’s fine, she just has a chip on her shoulder.”
S had no idea what this term meant either, and took it literally. She told the coach that I hurt my shoulder. The coach asked if I was up to play and I said no, so I sat on the bench the whole game.
My parents were so furious. They couldn’t correct the coach because they would have to explain why they said that to an 8-year-old and offer a better explination for my red puffy face. I was in for it on the car ride home. They accused me of being a liar - another common accusation, but this time it felt true and I carried this incident (and many others) with me forever.
I’m terrified that people will misunderstand me or think I’m lying. The self-gaslighting can make it hard to be inside my head sometimes. It seems like such a small memory. I just wanted to type it out and get it out there.

I've always liked road trips and I've always wanted to take more of them but my family never really did. So I really just wanna go out and take a week or two to just go. Just me with my car living life. Obviously I'm gonna plan it out and shit when I really start thinking about it but god would I love to just hop in my car, pick a direction, and just go lol.
I don't know where I would go, this is just something I've thought about before but now I could actually make it happen. Definitely not anytime soon tho, maybe in the next year or so, probably not even that honestly. Just gotta plan everything and save up the money lol.

I live in VIC. I've got a large north facing roof that runs the entire length of the house with some more roof space on the east and west sides. I'm currently on single phase power, but I have power lines right out the front that are the standard 4 line power lines. I'm making an assumption that means I could get 3 phase. My current cap on single phase is 13kW of panels with 10kW inverter and 5kW export. If I had 3 phase, I could go up to a max of 40kW of panels with 30kW of inverters and 15kW export. I'm looking to future proof here as my next car will be electric, heating and cooling will be electric within months, and I've got two kids in primary school who will be using a lot of electricity in under 10 years. My options:
* Just go 13kW of panels with 10kW of inverter capicity.
* Upgrade to 3 phase, and go approx. 26kW panels with 20kW inverter while allowed to export up to 15kW.
Things I need to consider:
Just how much roof space I have available (I'll speak to a solar installer here)
What is the cost of upgrading to 3 phase?
Has anyone been through this? Estimates on the cost of 3 phase?

Hey guys, so i met up with my ex yesterday. We broke up back in February. She initiated it because of some past actions of mine. We kept in contact post break up mainly me begging and pleading until i backed off and went no contact. Last week she got me up randomly asking for a pair of glasses she left in my car the first year we started dating (3 years ago) which to out knowledge they were lost. I never the less said i’d look for them and i found them. She was excited and asked if we can meet up. In my mind it was just gonna be a quick meet up but she ended up telling me to meet up at the mall so we can eat some gelato because she was in the mood (it was one of our go to places when we were dating). After that she asked if i would accompany if i wasn’t in a hurry to look at clothes and try them on and make a quick run to the supermarket (malls where i live have supermarkets), i said ok. (we used to do these things while dating)
overall the vibe was nice, we talked about our recent things and what we are up to. I didn’t mention anything from the past. Just wanted to keep a fresh new vibe going.
after i asked her how she got to the mall and she said she took an uber, i asked if she would like me to drop her off at her house since it’s in the way to mine and she said yes. and we just kept talking normally with no pressure but by her body language i could tell she was comfortable and subtly touching my arm and her leg touching mine and things like that. i dropped her off, said good bye and went home.
but i don’t know what to do, i didn’t text her after dropping her off, neither did she. and today we haven’t spoken .
should i reach out or give it a couple of days and wait if she does ?
but

Hey guys, so i met up with my ex yesterday. We broke up back in February. She initiated it because of some past actions of mine. We kept in contact post break up mainly me begging and pleading until i backed off and went no contact. Last week she got me up randomly asking for a pair of glasses she left in my car the first year we started dating (3 years ago) which to out knowledge they were lost. I never the less said i’d look for them and i found them. She was excited and asked if we can meet up. In my mind it was just gonna be a quick meet up but she ended up telling me to meet up at the mall so we can eat some gelato because she was in the mood (it was one of our go to places when we were dating). After that she asked if i would accompany if i wasn’t in a hurry to look at clothes and try them on and make a quick run to the supermarket (malls where i live have supermarkets), i said ok. (we used to do these things while dating)
overall the vibe was nice, we talked about our recent things and what we are up to. I didn’t mention anything from the past. Just wanted to keep a fresh new vibe going.
after i asked her how she got to the mall and she said she took an uber, i asked if she would like me to drop her off at her house since it’s in the way to mine and she said yes. and we just kept talking normally with no pressure but by her body language i could tell she was comfortable and subtly touching my arm and her leg touching mine and things like that. i dropped her off, said good bye and went home.
but i don’t know what to do, i didn’t text her after dropping her off, neither did she. and today we haven’t spoken .
should i reach out or give it a couple of days and wait if she does ?
but

I've always liked road trips and I've always wanted to take more of them but my family never really did. So I really just wanna go out and take a week or two to just go. Just me with my car living life. Obviously I'm gonna plan it out and shit when I really start thinking about it but god would I love to just hop in my car, pick a direction, and just go lol.
I don't know where I would go, this is just something I've thought about before but now I could actually make it happen. Definitely not anytime soon tho, maybe in the next year or so, probably not even that honestly. Just gotta plan everything and save up the money lol.

I'm not really sure if this fits the sub but I'm hoping it helps someone either directly or indirectly.
I had to sell my Model 3 earlier this year due to gambling debts from the year before. It was maybe the worst day of my life, knowing how hard I worked just to own that car. My dream car, really.
I've continued to climb out of debt (not fun and very hard) and haven't gambled for over 90 days now. Never will again.
It's painful to write this. But with sports gambling being legalized everywhere, I just wanted to pass along my story.
Take care of yourself. I wish I would have more, but if you are thinking about it, I'd say just make sure you don't go overboard or you could lose a lot.
Sorry if this goes against sub rules or anything. Just something I had to say. With good health and luck, I know someday I might have another crack at my dream car.
Peace and love friends.

Hi!
I'm looking for a used car to share with a family member and I would highly appreciate any kind of suggestions or general help in trying to find options for a car fitting our needs! Thank you so much in advance! 💕
The budget isn't all that great, but i got pleasantly surprised when i found the Toyota Auris seemingly checking all the boxes and being available for even less than 15k€ used. After looking at it for a while i found out Toyota was a decade late in adding carplay so even the most modern Auris models don't support AA or Apple Carplay.
I was looking at Toyota cars specifically since they're so reliable buying a used car from them isn't all that risky, and because they're widely available around where i live (Finland).
I would, however, like the car to have AA if we're spending money on a recent-ish model, as otherwise we might as well just get another ~2012 trash heap to save money as from what i've seen Toyota's own entertainment & navigation systems seem pretty worthless. I mainly use Google Maps for navigation, and if the car doesn't have that as an option, i see no point in paying for a fancy touch screen navigation system that i'm never going to use. In that case, Bluetooth audio will be enough, and i'll just use my phone for navigation.
The requirements for the car are as follows:

1. RELIABLE BRAND & MODEL

This is the most important part. If we're buying a used car, we need to be as sure as possible that it's not gonna break down on us for a long, long time, and that we won't need to pay twice the car's price in repairs.

1. General Specs

We are looking for a compact 4-5 seater vehicle for daily- and city driving as well as moderately long drives with a trunk space that can be expanded onto the passenger seats when necessary. It should be compact enough for city driving and parking, but still be able to carry cargo when necessary.
All cars either of us have driven have been manual, but we're willing to give automatic transmission a shot as well! FWD or AWD preferred.

1. Android auto or Bluetooth

As i explained earlier, I see no real point in paying for a touch screen monitor smacked on the console, if it adds nothing to the comfort or practicality of the vehicle. If the car isn't compatible with AA or google maps in some way, all that matters is that it's easy to listen to music wirelessly.

1. Decent audio system

Speaking of listening to music, it would be really nice to be able to enjoy the music as well! Neither of us are audiophiles or anything, but it would be nice if the speakers were good enough to make listening to music while driving fun! :)

1. Fuel

Gasoline or diesel works perfectly, It seems most options fit our needs nowadays are hybrids, which sound great otherwise, but neither of us have any experience with them. We've only heard horror stories about hybrids having reliability issues or being impossible to do routine maintenance to at home (like switching tires), and that they are more likely to fail inspection? I have no idea how true this is but if these are baseless claims, a Hybrid sounds like a great option as well.
Fuel efficiency is a huge plus, though "good" is enough. It doesn't have to be the main focus or anything exceptional. However, the more efficient the car is, the better of course!

1. Price

No more than 20k EUR (Used), or ~250€/ month. Leasing is also an option but i couldn't find any valid prices around here. Besides, i'm mainly just looking for vehicle suggestions, i can look at deals or sales myself as long as it's roughly in the same price category.
The main reason we want to make sure the car is solid and reliable is so we don't have to pay ourselves sick for it's maintenance. If we're considering leasing, it will be so we can make the dealership pay for any possible wear & tear. Again, we're looking for a used car that will last us a while. ^^
Again, thank you so much for anyone willing to help and take a look at this, all help is highly appreciated! 💕

Hello, this is my first post here. Today I received an email from our homeowners underwriters, Geico. Mainly I am just looking for any advice anyone might have who's been in this situation. I've heard that the insurance industry is on some fuck-shittery lately and are doing everything to not insure people. I am highly skeptical that we can have the work they're demanding scheduled within 2 months, let alone completed. We are in a large urban area where those types of services, especially in spring/summer, are booked out minimum two months.
They listed three points that they are demanding action on or they will drop the policy in two months. They are:

• "Other structure roof shows signs of advanced wear." - This is a detached tool/garden shed. Admittedly, it is an old roof with a bit of moss on it (PNW) and does need replacement, but does not allow water into the structure yet. This work is not in our budget this year, and I had already planned to replace in 2025.
• "Tree(s) overhang/touch a structure(s) on the premises." - There is a 60+ year old magnolia grandiflora tree in our front yard which unavoidably overhangs the main house. It is not possible to prune this tree so that it doesn't overhang the structure, that would likely kill it. However, there are a few small branches that I can cut so that the tree does not make contact, which I intend to do this weekend. This tree has overhung the main house since before we even bought it, but is apparently just now is an issue...?!
• "There is debris on the residence premises." - This I have no idea wtf they are talking about, and is one of the reasons I requested a copy of the inspection report. The magnolia is evergreen and drops leaves year round and, yes, sometimes it goes a while without raking. But there is no other debris outside our home. We do not store old cars, or parts, or anything outside of the shed or basement. Has anyone else had this happen?

I've already replied to the sender and requested a copy of the inspection report. No idea if that's even a thing but figured might as well make them back it up and provide proof. How likely is it that they will work with me regarding timeline and/or funding? This is literally our first house, we've lived here for 7 years and this is the first time any of this has been an issue, which is why I feel that it's related to insurance trying to get out of insuring people. Thanks for any advice offered, and happy to clarify anything if there are questions.
Edit for grammar.

Hi!
I'm looking for a used car to share with a family member and I would highly appreciate any kind of suggestions or general help in trying to find options for a car fitting our needs! Thank you so much in advance! 💕
The budget isn't all that great, but i got pleasantly surprised when i found the Toyota Auris seemingly checking all the boxes and being available for even less than 15k€ used. After looking at it for a while i found out Toyota was a decade late in adding carplay so even the most modern Auris models don't support AA or Apple Carplay.
I was looking at Toyota cars specifically since they're so reliable buying a used car from them isn't all that risky, and because they're widely available around where i live (Finland).
I would, however, like the car to have AA if we're spending money on a recent-ish model, as otherwise we might as well just get another ~2012 trash heap to save money as from what i've seen Toyota's own entertainment & navigation systems seem pretty worthless. I mainly use Google Maps for navigation, and if the car doesn't have that as an option, i see no point in paying for a fancy touch screen navigation system that i'm never going to use. In that case, Bluetooth audio will be enough, and i'll just use my phone for navigation.
The requirements for the car are as follows:

1. RELIABLE BRAND & MODEL

This is the most important part. If we're buying a used car, we need to be as sure as possible that it's not gonna break down on us for a long, long time, and that we won't need to pay twice the car's price in repairs.

1. General Specs

We are looking for a compact 4-5 seater vehicle for daily- and city driving as well as moderately long drives with a trunk space that can be expanded onto the passenger seats when necessary. It should be compact enough for city driving and parking, but still be able to carry cargo when necessary.
All cars either of us have driven have been manual, but we're willing to give automatic transmission a shot as well! FWD or AWD preferred.

1. Android auto or Bluetooth

As i explained earlier, I see no real point in paying for a touch screen monitor smacked on the console, if it adds nothing to the comfort or practicality of the vehicle. If the car isn't compatible with AA or google maps in some way, all that matters is that it's easy to listen to music wirelessly.

1. Decent audio system

Speaking of listening to music, it would be really nice to be able to enjoy the music as well! Neither of us are audiophiles or anything, but it would be nice if the speakers were good enough to make listening to music while driving fun! :)

1. Fuel

Gasoline or diesel works perfectly, It seems most options fit our needs nowadays are hybrids, which sound great otherwise, but neither of us have any experience with them. We've only heard horror stories about hybrids having reliability issues or being impossible to do routine maintenance to at home (like switching tires), and that they are more likely to fail inspection? I have no idea how true this is but if these are baseless claims, a Hybrid sounds like a great option as well.
Fuel efficiency is a huge plus, though "good" is enough. It doesn't have to be the main focus or anything exceptional. However, the more efficient the car is, the better of course!

1. Price

No more than 20k EUR (Used), or ~250€/ month. Leasing is also an option but i couldn't find any valid prices around here. Besides, i'm mainly just looking for vehicle suggestions, i can look at deals or sales myself as long as it's roughly in the same price category.
The main reason we want to make sure the car is solid and reliable is so we don't have to pay ourselves sick for it's maintenance. If we're considering leasing, it will be so we can make the dealership pay for any possible wear & tear. Again, we're looking for a used car that will last us a while. ^^
Again, thank you so much for anyone willing to help and take a look at this, all help is highly appreciated! 💕

Marrickville, Sydney: Our real estate, with whom we have left several maintenance requests, send someone over yesterday without notice to build a fence on EITHER SIDE OF THE DRIVEWAY because apparently the landlord saw the property and was unimpressed by the state of the grass out front.
We have never met our landlord, nor have we ever been provided with their name or contact details. There is no stipulation in our agreement about parking. There are EIGHT tenants in one house, so when we all park we make the most of the room. The real estate are insisting that we park on the street. Street parking is not available on our side of the street, and the limit parking on the other side is almost permanently occupied by the tenants on that side.
We have in the past three months lodged with the real estate the following maintenance requests, all of which have been either completely ignored or "assigned" in the portal as "in-progress" but never actioned:

• Smoke alarms: They are not connected or installed and the batteries are dead
• Gas leak: No one has investigated the smell of gas
• Active leaks: one in a tenant's bedroom, one above an unsealed light fitting. This one is also damaging the floor below, under which we believe there are more electrical fittings
• Leaking outdoor tap: They actually did send someone to fix this and marked it as resolved, but the tap still leaks and clearly nothing has happened.
• Mould due to non-existent ventilation in a laundry-turned-bathroom: They were taken to the tribunal last year about this by other tenants, and the issue is still not resolved.

It especially feels unfair to expect female tenants to park 200 metres away at the nearest available parking, and to walk home alone at night?
The maintenance worker turned up again this morning because our cars were in the way yesterday. The real estate sent an email to us AFTER this, but some tenants have not been able to move their cars in the interim period.
It has been really difficult to get legal advice on this one, so if anyone who could give some assistance here, we would massively appreciate it.

Just want to preface with, I’m going to the doctor’s office tomorrow morning, not just shaking a subreddit like a magic eight ball for important decisions on my physical health.
I don’t have an official diagnosis. I have had a doctor suggest ED as a strong possibility because of a number of health problems that have cropped up (always been there, but just gotten bad enough to severely inhibit mobility to the point my medical-gaslit-ass dragged myself to the doctor…a lot of them…because this is the worst game of telephone ever).
In the past 2 years, I have only started realizing how much hypermobility & subsequently chronic pain affect my quality of life and ability to perform simple self care like dishes, laundry, bathing, etc.
This morning I realized my toe was super sore and stiff. So I thought it needed to stretch (stupid in hindsight). And now I’m 95% sure that it is some flavor of dislocated…because it’s bent weird (subtle for anyone who isn’t me), it’s numb, it doesn’t move like the other one does, and it’s sending weird pain & weakness up all the way to the outside of my knee, causing it to buckle. I think it was dislocated beforehand, but I accidentally made it worse.
I’m afraid of going to the doctor to be gaslit once again. I’ve had to stop seeing 3 separate physical therapists because they dismissed my issue, acted condescending, and only replied to my questions/concerns with platitudes & acted like I was perfectly healthy and they were simply humoring me.
I’m trans, queer, autistic, & soft spoken. I have enough issues with communicating clearly as is, it’s infuriating to have to seek out help I so desperately need over and over and over again. I’m entirely financially reliant on my mother because I can’t hold down a job. I can’t stand up in the shower, I can’t bathe, do dishes, take out trash, do laundry, etc. nearly as often as I’d prefer (and is healthy). And my family doesn’t believe me. And my doctors are evasive.
I’m not giving up, I’m getting through it with gritted teeth and a bit more Ibuprofen than is recommended like I always have, but goddamned if I am not exhausted.
And angry, and so upset that I can’t do the things I want to do like see friends and respond to texts because of how much of my energy just goes into functioning on less than the bare minimum.
I’m going to bother all the right ppl until I find someone who listens, but fucking hell this sucks. I have a stupid high pain tolerance because of all the shit my body does on the regular, migraines so bad I throw up
So it makes it really hard to find anyone who will listen. I say pain and they hear drug seeker. I don’t even want any pain killers for a number of other physical & mental health reasons. I just want a diagnosis and some fucking help. Physical therapists who know how to work with someone with hypermobility.
I’m just so angry and disgusted and sad I’m spending so much time asking for anyone to listen to the words coming out of my mouth instead of making a laundry list of assumptions about me & my body that’s somehow boils down to being treated as subhuman. I’d never dream of treating my worst enemy half as bad as I’ve been treated by doctors.
So I guess any advice/ words of encouragement would be appreciated.
I’m 23, and I used to be active (not as much or as consistently as I’d prefer, but like I could do a 5 mile steep hilly hike with minimal/moderate soreness the next few days). I was the most active I’ve ever been in the year of 2020, had a house working job. I was doing anywhere from 10,000-30,000 steps a day, and I was tired, but I was functional (no serious mobility issues, able to complete everyday tasks/chores with relative ease).
During that year I sprained my ankle and it didn’t present as a classic sprain (minimal bruising/swelling to where it was almost unnoticeable & able to move almost normally—even though it was excruciating—). I begged my mom to take me to the doctor and she gaslit me, guilted me about money, asked family members who work in healthcare over the phone about it while completely minimizing the pain I was in. So I dropped it. She made me feel stupid and weak because she’s miserably insecure & can’t emotionally regulate herself without lashing out at everything & everyone around her.
I worked my super active job on a sprained ankle for months. I was in debilitating pain for 3 months after, my ankle would stop working and my leg would give out, but I didn’t know what to do. So I didn’t do anything. It eventually felt better bit by bit until the symptoms came and went. Until my ankle was unreliable but passable to walk & work on.
I moved away for college and got more sedentary in 2021. My ankle kept the on again off again symptoms until my dad died in 2021 & I was so depressed it was all I could do to feed myself, take a shower every 3-4 days, and attend my classes. Then the symptoms came & didn’t go away one day. And I tried to stay off my feet but they kept getting worse. I was nearly bed-bound by 2022, in so much I couldn’t sleep more than 2-4 hours at a time, and I finally sought help. I had to ask my roommate’s parents to take me to the physical therapist twice weekly for 6 weeks. Because I didn’t have a car, I couldn’t afford to Uber, and there was no one else.
I got better, but not good. I’m still struggling. I can’t go up my steps. I also developed moderate/severe carpal tunnel at the same time as my ankle getting fucked. Everything is tiring and difficult. And my mom keeps asking my to walk her monster dog, which makes everything worse, because she wants to keep me under her thumb.
I have a car now. I have a job that’s mostly sitting 4 days a week, so I have a little bit of money, enough for doctors visits & groceries. But I’m tired.
I’m here, I’m still fighting, but I’m tired and struggling to accept that I’m physically disabled. I already knew that I had a number of non-physical disabilities, I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to really accept that it’s more now. I mean I know why, because our social worth is ‘productivity’ based and I can’t do that anymore.
It would be so much easier if people understood that disabled doesn’t have a look. That it doesn’t matter that I’m young & have a smaller build, my body doesn’t give a shit about any of that, my joints are fucked up regardless of how old I am, how I look, or feel about it. 🙃
And it’s looking like I might have to up the doctor schedule a bit because my foot is now going numb. Just what I needed. /s 🙏

Hello wonderful people, this is my first day on this subreddit. I almost shared this somewhere else but something kept deleting my drafts (Reddit lags after typing for a while so I have to save a draft and retype). Anyway, I think the reason for that was so I would stumble upon here today, because I stumble upon here today from a place I joined only yesterday to potentially post my experience. I guess I'll find out if it was really meant to be when I save my first draft of this post.
Either way, let me get started with a little background. I know it's going to be a long post as it is and I apologize, but as a polytheist it's imperative I give some sort of context for this as it's widely misinterpreted by even my fellow polytheists. If you don't wish to read about the religion portion of this post I'll mark it so you can skip to the second dividing line as seen below:
My choice in coining my religious views as simply "Polytheist" is because it removes a lot of perceptions people have it when they initially hear it named such as "Pagan." I don't merely worship "the old gods". Long story short, I don't just believe these gods existed and still exist, but I know they do. I don't necessarily know if my human mind can comprehend them as anything but "a god or goddess", and I agree there's a strong chance they may be something else other than what the words "god and goddess" makes our minds draw a conclusion to about what that means.
I am not entirely anonymous in this post, but for those who may know who I am I do wish you please leave that out of this, but I work for a company that, since I first started my polytheistic journey this past winter, took notice. Take that to mean whatever you think it does, but that's not important. What's important is it not only has reinforced my beliefs, due to having been noticed by fellow and sympathetic believers, but it has catapulted a certain understanding of why my prayers have been working and why such a formerly prosaic minded individual such as myself could accept something so... foreign to everything I had ever known.
It started with prayers to Athena. I had an OBE of sorts, but she spoke to me within my own mind. And before people go thinking it was my imagination, trust me: you'd know it wasn't if it happened to you. It's indescribable and the empowerment from it was borderline overpowering. To have the entire foundation of your life and your perceived place in the world overnight is something I feel I can finally share with those who understand. And before I continue I just want to give an explanation that my polytheism is not simply Hellenic due to my prayers to Athena.
Our ancestors weren't stupid, even at the start of our current world understanding of the religions they practiced. They prayed who they prayed to for a reason. And one of the thing that is always so misunderstood is that "none of them can possibly be true" because their stories, while similar, have deviations and not all the gods and goddesses line up. That idea in itself is the most untrue part of this understanding of these religions. The Abrahamic religions sort of threw a wrench into this understanding as the texts of those religions are taught to be more literal, but in terms of polytheism of old there's a distinction between the mythological stories and the religious practice. The mythos is allegory, and they're stories told to venerate the gods and goddesses. And sometimes, such as the case with Zeus, they're later reinterpreted to condemn them by a certain Latin writer I won't name. I don't want to stray too far off topic and would like to wrap this portion up or else I'll never get to what happened to me. If anyone is still wondering, I mostly worship the syncretic deities in relation to Athena (the Latin Minerva, the Egyptian Neith as well as those slightly out of her realm but somewhat related to: Egyptian Anubis and Thoth).
Without further adieu, here's what happened 2 days ago:
I was sitting in my car after a rough week... night... few months. Whatever, it's been rough for a while. I'm feeling mentally and emotionally exhausted not just with things going on in my life, but I almost felt the weight of everyone else's pain and anger on my own shoulders. I was thoroughly upset that we as a species are subjected to be surrounded by such hate, and spite, and pain and horrible suffering. Even if a lot of us don't go through it, everyone feels the effects of it. The world is designed around hate and pain and suffering. Sure, we love and we can experience amazing things in this life, but it's tainted. We shouldn't have to endure things this way. That's just an excuse we tell ourselves to keep us sane in a pretty corrupt, tainted society. Planet, even. And I voice all these concerns to all of those which I worship and said a deep prayer to them. But I didn't stop there. Then I had an idea.
I know everyone has a different interpretation of their reality around them. It's all based on what we can experience, after all. But in my time I have spent researching what many call the... more... I don't want to incorrectly name this, but the more... wild part of the phenomenon surrounding non-human intelligences and our place in the universe. In my time researching this both before and after my first religious experience, I think I have a pretty rough idea of the cause of this. I don't know what it really truly is, but I feel a fitting name for it is simple "the evil". Whatever it is, it's not good natured. It does not have our best interests in heart. In my time of attempting remote viewing and astral projection, both before and since my religious experience, I've had an experience with... something not nice. And my idea was...
I don't have anything left to lose. I'm going to call them out on their faults... wherever and whatever they actually are. So, I said my prayers to those I worship and I added an addendum to it. I said (paraphrasing), "Lady's Athena, Minerva, Neith and Lord's Anubis and Thoth... I seek your strength, wisdom, understanding and protection as I do something which is probably very stupid. If I say something and am harmed, at least I tried, but if I say and try nothing then I've done nothing but fail."
It was a quiet desert night in my little neighborhood. It's a gated community and we don't deal with any nonsense just about... ever, really. And I sat in my car, prayer beads for Anubis, Minerva, Athena and Neith in my hands, and necklaces for Athena, Neith and Thoth displayed around my neck and...
I called "the evil" out. I spoke out everything I thought about it. And even as I sat there in my car, I felt strong and resilient and most definitely not alone. In two ways. Inside my being I felt those I worship with all the love I have to give, and staring through it all I felt something else. I had to regularly open my eyes to check I was not alone in my car. First I would feel it on my car seat next to me. Sometimes I would feel it sitting behind me staring at me. Sometimes I would feel it sitting in the middle of the backseat staring at me through the rear view mirror. But every time I checked, nothing was there. I did not waiver and I said all I had to say until I could think of nothing else.
I told it I thought it was pathetic. That I knew the only thing here that should be scared is it be scared of us. I told it that it's lazy and selfish for trying to hold us down because it's scared of what we can be than do the hard thing and help us be better than it can ever be. I called it shortsighted. Whatever pathetic bombastic rhetoric it has in mind is a disgrace to all that can exist anywhere, anyplace and at anytime. And I kissed my prayer beads, said another short prayer. I kissed all my necklaces, and against all instincts I had to run from my car back into my house crying... I firmly locked my car doors, walked steady and strong with head-up, and without looking back to my front door. The impenetrable eyes beaming through the back of my body didn't waver me and I went inside. An hour later I was asleep. I had no dreams or anything out of the ordinary happen once I walked in my door.
But then the next morning came. I took my trash out the side-door of my house as my community has a strict rule of keeping them hidden aside from trash-night, when I got a weird glance from my neighbor. I waved and was a bit confused when he just gave me a weird nod and opened his mouth to speak, but said nothing. I shook it off, went back inside, and went to gather my things to go get some Starbucks before I started my work day. I walked out my front door, locking it behind me of course, and unlocked my car with the fob. When I go to open the car door, I find it's already ajar. In fact, all four of them appear slightly ajar. My glovebox is open. The papers inside strewn everywhere on the floor. My car seat covers are lifted up off the seat. My little cover thing I use for spare change/random stuff below the dash was wide open had its contents spilling onto the floor and into my cup holders. My center console was flipped the whole way open, the emergency napkins and feminine products ripped open and shoved back in.
So I turn around and look at my other car. The same exact thing. Finally my neighbor from earlier comes out front to greet me and he says "who'd you piss off?" Long story short, I told him I had no idea but I didn't tell him that I think I had a good hunch. I filed a police report as recommended by the authority running our little community. They took their pictures and all that and left. I haven't heard anything and don't expect to. We all have cameras on our property, but we have a rule to point them all down so we're not affecting each other's privacy. There was no disturbances detected and I parked my cars slightly too far back to see anything but the hood and part of the dash. We had hoped to see any doors opening, but no such luck. That's fine, I don't think I really need a prosaic explanation from the police. Unless an intruder, which never happens in our community (none of my neighbors recall anything like a break in at all either, even those that have lived here for much longer than the few years I have), got into the back of my car to climb through it without rocking it and also disturbing the motion sensor light on the front my house... which I understand is not impossible, but I'll continue to have my serious doubts about that... especially considering nothing was stolen at all including a set of earrings my grandmother gave me which I forgot I had in my other car... out in the open for the taking. Yet there they still say in the center cup holder.
Anyway, think what you will but the timing is almost too perfect to me. I think I have a good reason to know what might've happened. Something picked an unassuming way of letting me know without tipping anyone off that... well, I think something let me know that it can get to me if it wants to. Maybe it's a bluff, maybe it's not. But what I do know is that while it won't be today, and I don't think it'll be tomorrow; I'm not going to stop. I'd rather have something horrible happen to me and live or die in agony than sit back knowing maybe feigning ignorance in the face of nothing to lose is more cowardly than them. I refuse to accept that. I refuse to accept the hardships of this life. Things don't have to be this way. Something out there is forcing it to be this way.
Anyway, I appreciate anyone who reads this and hope to at the very least inspire fellow experiencers to be brave in the face of something that can have quite an insidious side.

For context, I come from a Muslim family, and in this religion as far as I'm aware you're not supposed to be with a man. I don't care for that aspect.
He's the only person who really understands me. I live in the Midwestern part of the US, he lives all the way in Alaska. He lives on his own, I live with my family. I don't have enough money to be able to live on my own. Even if I want to go see him, my siblings know that I'm with him (Was forced to come out because I had an onset of depression and failed a semester) and don't support my relationship with him. Last time I saw him was in the summer of 2022 during the week of his birthday. I am 100% sure I'd rather stay with him than end up in some kind of arranged marriage with any women, like is common in my family culture. But he doesn't make enough to where he can support me and because he lives in Kodiak (An island off the south coast of Alaska) jobs there are very limited, mostly manual labor and nothing really related to what I want to do. I also keep trying to run all these random online businesses in the hope I'll have enough money to see him again.
I'm currently a college student in cyber security and while I do have a job, I don't own my own car yet. So if I want to go to the airport for a flight to see him I'd have to take my own car. My brother pays for my phone service so if I just up and leave it would probably get shut off and I'd be stuck. Plus my family and I all live in the same house, so I'd also have nowhere to live if shit really hits the fan.
My boyfriend works at a pizza shop up there and he's barely making it by, but I try to help him when I can, even though I'm struggling too. We're both in positions in our lives where we aren't fully stable yet and things are rocky for us. We both miss each other greatly and I just wish I could see him again and comfort him physically. He recently started taking therapy and while I'm so proud of him for that, he told me he recently spoke to his therapist about us and they said that we should take a break and come back when we're both more financially stable/independent. He's been dealing with a lot of depressive and suicidal thoughts and I try as best as I can to be there for him like he's been for me.
I love my nieces and nephews as well. I don't want to have to choose between my family and him. I've never been in such a healthy relationship and yet it's hurting me to see him so broken like this, the fact that something so stupid as heteronormative society rules are holding me back from being with the one person who I feel completely safe and loved around. I've heard before true love can be about letting go.. Is this true? I don't want to walk away. I've never had anything this good in my life. But I wonder if I'm being selfish by staying..

Camping in woods off the AT. Pogo memorial campground. The minute I laid down in my tent after hiking all day and elk bugle rang out. I thought that's odd, elk dont live around here... Well then the sound changed. It started becoming louder, like a LOT louder. It also turned more human sounding, like a woman. It was a full on scream. Then it changed again. It went from a banshee scream to a low gutteral demon sound. This would have been enough to make me feel pretty scared, but it didn't stop. It kept changing from a high pitched shrill scream to a low gutteral roar and back over and over again for atleast 10 seconds. I would have panicked and left if I didn't just get done hiking 12 or so miles with a heavy bag. I would have had to hike another 6 or so miles to get to the car. I also had a friend with me so I had a shred of sanity left and we just sat there in the dark after it ended and were just stunned. We decided to stay chalking it up to an elk fighting a bobcat or something.
I still think the scream was way too human and otherworldly sounding. It was too loud to make any sense we would have at least heard the brush moving around and the animals making more shuffling noises before and after the scream. But nope, it was dead quiet. There are more details that add to the eerieness. Hikers arrived a few minutes later and shined their lights directly at my tent for an uncomfortably long time. I was staring directly at the light through my tent vents and they were not doing anything just standing there the light unwavering at my tent and face.
Last detail is that area is close to a burned down hotel owned by an Irish woman. The whole family perished. I will say I never believed in paranormal stuff until that night. I think it was a banshee skinwalker hybrid. I try to bring this story up with my friend but he always just changes the subject.

I don’t even know where to begin! For starters, myself and Jessica both had to work today and were unable to watch any of the lives that were held. (Thank you to those that have tried to keep me updated so I know what needs to be addressed) Unlike DD, I have priorities that require my attention and because of that, I don’t have the ability to go live for hours on end! I’m going to try my best to hit some bullet points with this post and I’ll be open to answering questions if further clarification is needed. I want to start by saying I DID NOT say that DD has taken thousands of dollars from people! What I said was she was probably not the best person to expose Kerrie when she’s taken money from people herself! Mandy being number 1 and she’s already admitted she’s taken from a couple others! Some of those debts were paid back (not by her) prior to exposing Kerrie so she would feel safe in doing so! Now let’s talk about this $700 that she claims to have said no to me over! First of all, I would have never even mentioned this situation, so she has herself to thank for this! Since this is a situation that involves dry begging, we can refer to this as example #1 of why her and Kerrie are much alike! 😉 DD repeatedly told myself and Jessica that she didn’t know what she was going to do because she “didn’t realize” that her tabs, inspection etc on her car had expired and she would need around $700 to get it legal again. I am not a rich woman! Who would be with a family as large as mine? But my dad had just passed away and I was left a “rainy day fund”. After seeing her stress over her car and knowing she was waiting on child support to go thru, I DID offer to lend her the money! Initially DD said no and we discussed other options for her to handle it. A day or 2 later, she privately called me without Jessica (most of the time it was all 3 of us) and mentioned that she may need to take me up on the offer and I told her the offer still stands and to let me know because I do not use the apps for money and I’d have to have one of my adult children send it for me when they returned home from work. Later that day, “God was good” and her child support cleared! Problem solved! (I will mention here that days later Jessica and I were confused when she said her mom and sister helped) but either way, she figured it out and didn’t require my help! Point in even explaining all of this is she likes to paint herself in a light where she is holier than thou and would never take from anyone!! 🙄
Next.. the wardrobe! On no planet did I ever offer to buy her a wardrobe! Like most mornings, myself, DD and Jess were on the phone! We were discussing the trip that they would be going on together in April. Jessica was talking about outfits she had gotten herself for the trip and texting us pics while we were talking. I felt bad for DD who I knew couldn’t afford to do the same, so I text her and said “pick a few outfits off Shein, send me screenshots and sizes and I’ll order them for you” I also put “shhhh” because no one needed to know that she didn’t get them for herself! Her response was not NO! It was “ok once I get home! Thank you Christine!” She immediately mentioned it on the phone call and I told her she didn’t have to. Her response was that she didn’t care if Jessica knew. At that point, all 3 of us were on SHEIN and sending pics in text of options for DD. (See how her story holds only partial truths?) I can also provide screenshots of this if necessary! Now in the end, nothing was ever ordered because she never officially told me exactly what she wanted and our friendship ended before I was able to fulfill the offer. Her part of that trip was also canceled due to Jess walking away when I did! Mikey and the homeless mission… the plan was Mikey was taking a train to somewhere in NY and DD was driving an hour to go pick him up from there! Morning of, DD texts Jessica and I and asks for $50 from each of us! We both said NO! I made mention of how expensive it would be, asked why she was no longer getting him, and couldn’t understand why Mikey needed money when he had previously been offering to help others get there! (All in texts 😉) The story seemed sketchy and I privately told Jess I would reach out to Mikey to verify. Mikey DID verify that there was an issue with the bus or train (I’m not familiar with transportation in the NY area) and he did verify that DD sent him $200. Jessica and I had both spent ALOT of money on the mission itself already and were not willing or able to contribute more, especially for something that wasn’t 100% necessary for it to be a success… though Mikey turned out to be an asset that day! I will add that I had no idea she received “blessings” from 2 people that were present and if my math is correct, she would have ended up with $250 from it. $100 from each of the 2 people and another $50 from someone who wasn’t there! 🤷‍♀️ (just going off what she said in her rambling) The PIZZA!! 🤣🤣 did I ask Luci (who’s name I promised I wouldn’t mention but DD did) if she gave her money for the pizza? Yes I did! Not so I could be like her and mention it publicly (in fact I told Luci I wasn’t going to) I only asked because that was sent by someone for me and DD went out of her way to talk shit on Luci and her wife to Jess and I and how they didn’t even offer to help pay for it! We were taken back by that because why should she care when she didn’t spend a dime on it? Weird right? It made Jess and I wonder all this time if they did in fact pitch in and DD kept the money.. I was happy to learn that they did offer but DD declined! Please take note that the biggest issue here was DD repeatedly complaining about Luci and her wife when they were there busting their ass to help with the homeless stuff!
** if you haven’t picked up on it yet, there were lots of little instances where we began to question her character**
Now to the Mandy business… I’m not here to speak for Mandy or be her mouthpiece! Mandy is NOT the reason that DD and I are no longer friends! DD was well aware of the fact that Mandy and I talk. In fact, she was the one that would run to me to go fix things with Mandy for her! I became quite the mediatocounselor between the 2 of them and was CONSTANTLY telling DD that she needed to make up her mind and quit stringing her along if she didn’t want a relationship of any kind! Twice I asked DD if she’s ever outright told Mandy that she only wanted to be her friend and nothing more.. her loud response was “she should know that” to which I replied “it’s a yes or no question. Maybe that’s what I need to talk to Mandy about” and she shut the idea down very quickly by saying it would send Mandy in to an anxiety attack and “she knows her better than anyone” here’s one of those moments that make you go hmmmm 🤔
My thumbs hurt at this point and my kid has a band concert in 45 mins so I’ll stop here for now! Please feel free to ask questions or bring my attention to anything else that she’s said about me that needs to be addressed!

Don't get me wrong. I'm truly curious, and this question I've been carrying for over a year.
Im a 30 m
Objectively I have lived a terrible odds stacked against me from the start. I was born to a father that took my mother faraway to a farm and isolated us he was quite the abuser with my self going Tru all 5 different tipes my siblings 4 and the youngest only 2 I was the only one that was s## abused. From as Yong as I can remember I plead my mother to leve. Turned in to a super Cristian thus a wife's purpose is to be subject to her husband. Evan though she also went true all 5 she was even r## infront of me.
I mentioned we grew up on a farm in isolated he would work construction jobs all over Africa so most of the time we would be left alone. Work 4 months home 6 weeks the first day that he is back he cums with takeaways and cool drinks and it's a celebration it would normally only be calm for 2-3 days when he would get angry normally before we were to go buy groceries. Witch ment we will have to put that car together and fix it that's normally tha first day that I would blead if it's not from a tool it's because I woed gow far into the field to hide then it would be his lether belt my but would be blue And red brushe sometimes my skin woed split open and blend every time I moved.
The first time I saw a classroom or a teacher was at the age of 13 we got a tv for the first time at the age of 12 so obviously I had no sosial skills it was just a few days a group of bullies introduced me so that was not fun until a few months later when the hieschool librarian looked over our class.
My mom dit taught me to read and math and science (only biblical accurate) so I started reading at 4 at 5 I was at the level of gr3 had to develop my own horrible handwriting. I was good at math though my mom only knew +×÷- and fractions to the second point
The library was my heavin in 3 years personally I graduated done with every book in the library besides most of the story books The problem was I couldn't really speak English I only got exposed to it from the TV so I was on my way to fail Gr6 I didn't during the last term my dad left for work again but this time it was longer we ran out of food and my mom finally ran away with her 5 kids pregnant and starving all the food we had fit into a shoe box and ther was space for my brothers favorite little teddy 🧸 about the size of a tennis ball
We moved to the city we're I found out my mom has siblings thy help us with some basic it was crazy there I could not even cross the streets thy were 3 lanes mutch to wide for a teen cross with out getting run over starting high school I decided I would be the opposite of my history so on the first day I broke the head boy a rather big rugby player nose. That showd them I was never bullied and yet still not cool so I joined the skateboarders I was terrible but they had issues and I'm nothing but broken metal head started smoking never touched weed that's drugs glue as well it makes youcrazy. Though sometimes we would snort white power at the mall. Only after a few months in class I found out there are more tips of drugs. To late now I'm a cat addicted our group grew and we became the popular group we were 40 in the core group if we threw a party 200 people show up I mean some college students started hanging with them college girls hang with me at 17 so obviously the heiskool girls thru them at me nonstop sleeping with 2-3 a night never not wrapped always save. Until I slept with one I actually cared for but not as much as she for me so to get here to disappear I seduced her sister on her bed so she could walk in on that. 3 day later she was found dead in the bath with a letter to her parents on their bed and a long letter for me in her sister underwear full of her blood for me.
My next relationship was my fiance Finally quit drugs 3 years later Completely thought ow yeah remember that I was so smart well turns out I failed gr 9 almost twice shortly before the second time time my mother lost her job I was still partying her savings didn't last we got evicted ran out of food so I quit school and started buying thing from drug dealers and sell them it wasn't long before I afforded a bigger house some time later I moved out paying 2 rents going crazy the drugs were not fun any more my friends are dieing on after the other some go to prison I fought my best friend. I saw what was happening because of the drugs I walk 70 km that weekend faar into the field to escape only with my knife. Not the plan but I lived there for 3 weeks alone my phone is still there somware I came back sober no friends
I didn't fin school so it's only min wage for 3 years trying multiple business all fail until I lost my job again. One day I dit a car port for a lady little did I know that in justover 7 years 2 months before covid i will loos. A my greatest business in going to 8 figure this time 100% legal in one writing of a pen and waist all my saving on loyars to get it back lost my fiance and only child
Went into depression
tryed and failed 3 more business Good diagnose with add and adhd Over came depression Diagnosis with ptsd Found out my 5 year old son is not evan myn Depression again Gave up trying at all tried drugs again for 2 months give up on that two
Move back to the farm where it all started farm is falling It's sort off failng less
Depressioni quit low
And finally today im bulding my own shop with bricks i made my self everything wants to fail this sometimes its so close.
And yeah true all of that's I can honestly say I never had suicide Evan as a though to be a option
Seriously why would I not just end me but I just don't have that option ever