Whats a good like my status thing

I have the mini Mona Lisa copper IUD and I'm worried that something might be wrong down there? I do have a follow up appointment with my nurse in 2 weeks, I was just wandering if anyone experienced this or might know what can it be.
For context it's been more than a month that I got it and I'm just starting my 2nd period. My first one was right after the insertion.
The thing is around 2 days ago my lower belly starting feeling sore/painful when I would press on it. It's gotten worse now. It doesn't feel like it's pain from bloating, although I also became really bloated and still am. It feels like an injury kind of pain if it makes sense. And I feel it when I move like when I jump or sit down. Or even when I walk if I completely relax my abdomen and don't pull my belly button in. I don't know for sure but I just feel like it's swollen down there. So I'm starting to worry if it's an inflammation or something. And I find it weird because this abdominal tenderness didn't happen during my first period. I only had cramps.

So I haven't seen anyone talk about this so I figured I'd share my strategy for rushing WT3. So take down the capstone as soon as you can but don't complete any strongholds. Personally I think the holy bolt elixers are pretty good for this.
So strongholds don't scale with WT but they still drop Sacred gear. So instead of clearing the capstone and then dying a thousand times trying to get gear in a hell tide. Clear the capstone then start cleaing the strongholds. This is what I did and it helps a ton. I did like 3 strongholds which gave me enough gear to start stomping hell tides.
Hope this helps!
Ps
Not sure if this works for WT4. Never tried.

Today was a day. I was quiet at work and decided to just be. I wasn't in a bad mood but I wouldn't say I was talkative and joyful. I don't know why I've felt like this. Part of it felt like I didn't want to open my mouth because I didn't feel like getting made fun of or listening to a response I didn't want to hear. Quiet just felt better. I was nice and talkative to the customers. I want them to feel at home and happy. Sometimes I feel like I listen to the problems of my coworkers and bosses and I respect and try to understand that there are difficulties in their lives but the problems I share don't matter. I am younger than everybody and feel like it's the life gets harder when you're older attitude. I feel like we have common problems in some places but because I don't have the responsibility of a child or more life experiences that my problems don't matter as much. Maybe it is all in my head. Maybe it isn't. Sometimes it just frustrates me and today I needed to vent. I wasn't angry at anybody in particular but just wanted to feel like I do have things going on in my life. Sorry about the rambling.
I decided to go shopping and get gas. Then I got home and breathed for a bit. Now I am walking while writing this. I'm allowing my negative feelings out in a positive way. I am strengthening my body and mind while trying to deal with my emotions. I want to be better for myself. I can do anything as long as I try to step forward into a better future. A better tomorrow. A bad day doesn't define who I am so I can write about it and let it happen. Then allow the next moment to take over and I find that kind of beautiful. While time is so difficult to manage, it is an amazing cure all.
I walked a bit over 40 minutes. It felt good. I bet it may not be so much tomorrow though xD. I do hope my calves are not too sore. The walk definitely gave me some extra energy and I feel much better.
Food was good today. I had some carrots at work. For dinner I had eggs and toast. Then I had some summer salad we have at work. I tried that for the first time today. A bunch of the vegetables we have in the back of house in a vinegar dressing! I don't know why I never tried it. Maybe because I feared not liking it or the zucchini or squash in it (which I never know if I like). I'm so happy I tried it. Vegetable oil along with some red wine vinegar seems light on calories while also being absolutely delicious. This salad may be a go to for a while. I also forgot to mention this yesterday but somebody mentioned Fairlife milk to me when they crave chocolate milk. I wonder how it tastes and if it will help to ease my chocolate milk craze. Good thing I'm restricting myself from the farmer's market and getting my favorite one. I can be good but gosh self control is ruthless.
I sign off to the krill with all the skill. My conjurers of the deepest seas. May the tides be plentiful with healthy foods and seas be flavorful and favorable. Leave any questions or ideas below and dream up what you thought was unimaginable.

I'm a principal full stack engineer previously part of a top talent network - I was let go from the network coz the last client I worked with couldn't continue paying, and the network had to cover part of the unpaid fees for them to me.
Clients have loved working with me as I have the reputation of making things happen, and I absolutely love bringing their visions to life with my expertise!
I've been applying for roles in my area of expertise (full stack development / gen ai / tech leadership), but its taking a while for interviews to pour in. And ngl, but its upsetting a bit, since i've previously never had a break of more than a month.
I'm packing in learning, interview prep, job applications in the time I have on my hands, but I feel like there's so much to do. The fact that there are so many non-selections despite a seemingly good fit, isn't helpful either, and I'm feeling a bit lost and low.
I'm trying my best to stay positive and to continue taking action. I'd appreciate any words of advice and suggestion from those who have navigated this space ~
Thank you and much love to everyone

Hi i am looking to upgrade from what i said already in the title, my budget is 900$ - 1,100$.
I'd like someone to suggest me GPU, CPU & Ram that would be good enough to run a game like The Isle at 1080p high / almost high settings? (I am a bit biased to Nvidia cards due to shadowplay)

Hi.
My friend is currently dealing with a lease issue in the state of North Carolina.
She signed a lease on an apartment with her boyfriend. The lease is in both of their names, co signed by my friends mother. The lease expires in January.
My friend has since broken up with this boyfriend and moved in with me. He refuses to get another roommate and insists on my friend continuing to pay rent at the apartment, despite not living there anymore.
She was unable to break the lease.
Is there any legal action that can be taken?
She would really like him to move out of the apartment, so that she can move back in
OR alternatively, she wants him to get another roommate so she can stop having to pay rent.
He is refusing to do either of those things.
Another solution was that my friend was thinking about subletting her room out, that way the ex-boyfriend has a “forced” rommate, and she does not have to pay rent.
The only problem with that, is the ex-boyfriend is an asshole. He is a weird guy. I would feel unsafe living with him. He has also taken away my friends key, and refuses to allow her to move back in.
What, if anything, can we do?

This is super long and most of it is waffle, just in complete despair mode and I have no one to talk to.
Last year I tried to hang myself. I’ve had several attempts throughout my life (overdoses, excessive self harm, all superficial (apart from a couple of the overdoses) apart from the hanging. That was the only time I think I truly was prepared to end it.
I had someone help me tie the noose (it was a joke initially but turns out he did a better job at tying it so I kept the setup and it almost worked), the only problem was there wasn’t a proper drop - my feet were still kind of touching the ground, I don’t think I did it properly but I was committed to it.
I would pass out but regain consciousness, I phased in and out for a bit until I hallucinated some pretty horrific stuff, these weird unnatural looking things - I was pulling at the noose trying to shout ‘WHAT ARE YOU’ at them for a bit until I passed out? again, and when I regained consciousness that last time I was pulling at the noose at my neck and I pulled it off. It is currently my biggest regret. I was sectioned not longer after from some heavy drug induced psychosis (don’t do meth folks!)
It’s been a year and a half now, I’ve stopped doing those drugs minus when I revert back to ketamine use / Valium to deal with residual psychosis and my other array of mental health problems. I’m on two SSRI’s, I’ve been with mental health services since I was 11, been on a range of ssri’s from when I was 14 for panic attacks and extreme anxiety leading me unable to go outside, I stopped going to school. Eventually was homeschooled (by a PRU) and I managed to get GCSE’s to get into college, but I’d already started drinking then to aid anxiety & that got worse throughout college and then to Uni and after uni eventually drugs.
After being sectioned it took 7-8 months to be referred to early intervention for psychosis team, who put me on another ssri and referred me talking therapies, I was told I was being referred to specifically psychosis related trauma therapy. Talking therapies said they couldn’t work with me until I was sober as I thought being honest about my use would help recovery, it isn’t.
I’m unable to go outside for too long, I can’t make any friends, I don’t trust anyone at all, I can’t go see my family, I spend a horrible amount of time paralysed with fear, still having panic attacks that keep me from anywhere with other people, I can’t go anywhere without extreme mental distress. I don’t have. A job as I can’t work in this state, or u can’t hold a job because anxiety wins every time. I’m literally just wasting away, scrounging every month - i grew up poor and Things have just stayed that way.
I’m not blameless in this either - starting with early drinking to heavy drug use now, I’m only in my early twenties but there is no point in me living. I spend all the benefits I get on K or Valium, anything to help me exist or quieten voices and paranoia and also clearly to fuel my own drug use. I went to the GP today because my UC is being reviewed and I was just told to go to the GP when I mentioned struggling with voices / general mental health issues by the DASS service. The GP told me I need to be fully sober. I can see that there is no help or aid in the system and that I shouldn’t expect it either due to my use. All this bullshit about caring for your mental health is a lie. I think some of us are just not meant to live this long, literally survival of the fittest, I am so weak and tired.
Except I’m now so afraid of trying to kill myself again. I don’t want to see what I saw last time, I don’t know what death is, I don’t have the strength or willpower to do that to myself again. I’m so scared I will fail and be stuck here, and then they’ll take that option away from me. I have to have the strength to do it properly, to go somewhere high and actually be able to jump. I don’t know what to do anymore. No one can help, no one will help, no one wants to help, I’m realising there is no saviour I can run to and I have to deal with all my shit by myself and I can’t even be a functioning member of society let alone have the backbone to be mentally well.
I feel so ashamed. Saying all this feels so stupid too. I feel like mental health can’t be a real thing, that I’m somehow faking it and it feels like my fault now because I’m now an addict as well as mentally ill so I’m just perpetuating it but I can’t get rid of my only relief even if it’s momentary & making my situation worse. I really don’t know what to do, and I’m thinking of any way possible I can gather the courage to try again & I know next time will have to be the last.

I loved my F900xr… Love my 2024 1250 GSA even more.
I hate when things either aren’t complete (like a Nav prep without the Nav) and I hate when things that should work together - don’t
Which leads me to my concern with the new ConnectedRide Navigator GPS
Is it just me, or is this a barely functional GPS for $900?
Why would a head unit designed to work with my brand new $28k motorcycle need to have my helmet and phone paired with EITHER the GPS or the motorcycle but both don’t talk to each other to know that they are connected?
How is it that attempting to navigate for audio content (podcast / music) on either the motorcycle or GPS is nearly impossible on an iOS device? It’s no good if I need to stop and take my phone out to switch to a different Podcast or playlist?
Often times having my headset (Sena SRL-2 in a Shoei GT Air 2) go back and forth between Navigation instruction and a podcast completely drops all audio (perhaps not Navigator issue)
Is anyone else seeing these type of things? My point isn’t to complain, I’m happy to pay the money or even more to have it work - it it feels like a 1/2 finished product t at this point that is really only a marginal GPS for a ton of money.
Rant off, don’t flame me too much

Hey everyone,
I just joined the sub today because I left my mother’s house and I just can’t take it anymore.
My mom has had a problem with hoarding her entire life ever since she moved to the states. we used to have a 13 acre property which also included three storage units that were built on my dad well totaling over 15,000 ft.² of space. All full of things she continuously bought from Goodwill or Salvation Army and also gifts that my dad brought her from overseas as a merchant marine.
Detached garage (about 800 ft.²) was also filled to the brim with bags of clothes and so much other things…. Which then leads us to our house which then leads us to our house. Growing up in that house, we had five bedrooms. But for 17 years, I slept under the piano bench or on the only available couch. I never had my own room until I moved out.
I can tell you so much more but that’s not why I’m here…. So fast forward to today….
My mom needs help. Big time. The new house she moved into is the worst I’ve ever seen it. I tried to talk to my uncle that lives with her, but he literally doesn’t care because they’re both from a very poor part of their country and could care less about filth or clutter. My mom is not young anymore. She is in her 70s. I kid you know I have to do a sideways scuffle throughout her house other than the kitchen and the bathroom. None of the rooms other than my uncles room is accessible.
It got really bad after my dad died a couple years ago. It finally looked like it was starting to turn around since he retired from being on the seas.
What do I do? She is going to die in there and the thought of that has formed a never-ending pit within my stomach. the thought of that has formed a never-ending pit within my stomach I can’t shake. it has gotten to the point where I cannot visit her anymore because I end up breaking down in tears and not being able to hide that.
She is in complete denial and thinks the way she lives is OK and she said she is happy. She does not want any help whatsoever and hold grudges to anyone that wrongs. Her. I am here to generally ask everyone if there’s anything that I can do or what should I try to do?
Thank you for listening

Something thats repeatedly said to us throughout the series is that Mace is incredibly overconfident in his abilities both as a warrior and battle commander. As Tyrion puts it:

Tyrion had to bite his tongue at that. Robb Stark had won more battles in a year than the Lord of Highgarden had in twenty. Tyrell's reputation rested on one indecisive victory over Robert Baratheon at Ashford, in a battle largely won by Lord Tarly's van before the main host had even arrived. The siege of Storm's End, where Mace Tyrell actually did hold the command, had dragged on a year to no result, and after the Trident was fought, the Lord of Highgarden had meekly dipped his banners to Eddard Stark.

Its pretty clear that Mace is not exactly Westeros' greatest military commander. And that would be fine if he was at least self-aware about this but he isn't:

"Storm's End." Lord Mace Tyrell grunted the words. "He cannot take Storm's End. Not if he were Aegon the Conqueror. And if he does, what of it? Stannis holds it now. Let the castle pass from one pretender to another, why should that trouble us? I shall recapture it after my daughter's innocence is proved."
How can you recapture it when you have never captured it to begin with? "I understand, my lord, but—"

As Kevan correctly recognizes, Mace has deluded himself into thinking he captured Storms End when he failed to do so twice.
Lacking the ability to do something but recognizing this shortcoming is a good thing because it allows you to plan around that and ensures you dont bite off more than you can chew.
Mace doesnt recognize this. As such, the next battle he commands he will lose.
Now against who?
Well Aegon and Jon Connington have just shown up on Kings Landings doorstep.
Connington and Aegon's forces are and likely will remain relatively small (~10k I believe). Dorne's forces are awhile away even if they decide to join. In theory, the time to hit them is now before others gather to their banner.
I think there is around 30-40k Reach troops around the capital between Randyll and Mace. My guess is he will split those forces because even with splitting them in half he will outnumber his enemy by quite a bit. Hes also just going to need to leave some forces at the capital anyway.
My guess is at some point Mace will be persuaded or decide to attack Aegon. And like his father riding off a cliff, he will run straight into a hard battle against the best army in Essos (the Golden Company) and Jon Connington. A man who Kevan had this to say:

If this is indeed Jon Connington, he will be a different man. Older, harder, more seasoned...more dangerous.

There is also just the meta element that the story is starting to move beyond Mace (arguably it always has been). The war in the Reach with Euron will be fought by his sons, the conflict in Kings Landing is more between Cersei and Margaery. His presence in the story is not going to be necessary for much longer.
TL;DR Mace Tyrell is going to lose his next battle. Likely to Jon Connington and the Golden Company

Guys… I took the MCAT on may 10th and the panic is setting in… I can’t wait 26 more days til June 11th 😭. This was my retake after scoring a 504 (125/126/127/126) the first time back in September. I’m terrified I’ll do worse on this retake. I took 6 FL’s before this retake and here were the scores:
FL 1: 505 (127/125/127/126) FL2: 506 (127/125/127/127) FL3: 510 (129/124/128/129) FL4: 511 (127/128/128/128) FL5: 513 (129/125/129/130) FL6: 511 (128/126/128/129)
The exam was kinda a blur. I think chem phys had some difficult concepts but the math was alright (I usually struggle with math lol) and I didn’t run out of time for it like I usually do! CARS was okay to read but a few weird questions. Bio biochem felt harder than usual… definitely had to do some guess work…. And psych soc felt pretty good actually!! Like I had an answer in my head for all the questions and they were all in the options so that get good I think.
Can someone please give me some retake miracle stories? Or advice on what to do about these NERVES? 😅

I’ve been sober for a little more than 2 weeks and relapsed one night so more like 6 days but my first thought every morning is alcohol. I remember being younger (4-5 years ago) when I couldn’t legally drink and it felt like someone that was fun and exciting and always uplifted me. Now after a few years of daily drinking 1 bottle of vodka and getting sober for a while at treatment, it’s like an indescribable about of desire but not because it makes me feel good or anything but because it makes me able to function physically. It’s like withdrawals that never end. I’m on Klonopin, have been for years and that’s always made physical symptoms become less obvious but now it feels like it’s something more. I don’t eat or rarely do I drink water. My self confidence is non existent. I still try to go to meetings but. Not sure what I should do. I’m sure millions of us have been in a place like this. It’s like the feeling of having to go pee, poop, eat and drink extremely badly but never being able to and always feeling sick.

So I met this guy at a festival (we kinda new each other already but never spoke to each other). He was with my friends (they’re friends but not very close). I was there at the festival minding my own business and then out of nowhere he starts talking to me and we end up talking for hours and during the whole show we are very close and constantly talking. I had a lot of fun with him and felt very natural for me.
On the next day I commented on his picture something silly and he responded on my inbox and we’ve been talking ever since (about 10 days). He asks a lot of questions and I do too and we’ve been talking about many many things. He’s a few years younger than me and i’ve been thinking about that a lot but kinda over that now.
anyway, he hasn’t asked me out yet. i’m not saying he is but at least I felt a connection between us, I really liked him (this is very rare for me, i’ve been single for a year and a half it’s been very difficult for me to be interested in a guy), but maybe it was just me.
my question is: what would be the reason he’s talking to me frequently and very interested in my life? does he want me as a friend? i don’t want to sound self absorbed but guys don’t usually just want a girl as a friend initially. i know he’s single because we talked about that too so the option that he’s dating is off the table. is it possible that he’s just shy? he doesn’t seem to be.
also, i know people will say that I should ask him out but i’m very shy myself and don’t usually like to go out on dates, although i’d go out with him if he asked lol

Let me elaborate.
I am a 27M living in Spain and I am going to Japan in a few weeks, a trip I have always wanted to do and now I finally have the occasion of doing it. I'm going for like 3 weeks.
The thing is, I have a friend backpacking in South East Asia so I thought it would be a good idea to visit since I will be "nearby" and the idea of meeting there sounds good. He will probably be in Vietnam, a country that I also want to see.
However I have been doubting for days now, because I don't know how to combine, if it is better to go first to Vietnam for a week and then Japan for 2 or 3 weeks. Or maybe it's better to go to Japan first and mark it check in my list, and then go to Vietnam. Or to not go anywhere else but Japan and focus only in this one country, which would maybe disappoint my friend but I will see him when he comes back anyway.
The things that make me doubt:
First, the type of trip. Vietnam, or Thailand, or similar is more wild adventure-like, a little different kind of trip than Japan, from what I heard. That includes that I will have to be prepared for two separate things, regarding vaccines, clothes, etc. So maybe I should separate them in two different trips.
Second, the money. Of course if I go to Vietnam I will have to pay a flight to reach Japan afterwards, which adds to the price. On the other hand, I can go to Thailand after Japan since I would have to change planes there anyway. Same goes to China. But then I would not see my friend, which is the main point of adding another country to the trip to Japan.
What do you people think is the best option? Is it wise to combine, or better to focus on one country? Bear in mind I plan to come back to Asia to travel more in the future.
TL;DR: Im a 27M going alone to Japan for 3 weeks. Thinking of going also to Vietnam to visit a friend that is traveling there. Unsure if I should go first to Vietnam or first to Japan, or go to another country instead and for less money, or focus only to Japan.

I've realised that I don't actually have a channel name, and therefore could do with changing it away from what it currently is (just my name!). I've had a few ideas, but I'm always quite wordy so they've all ended up on what looks like the long side of things.
Would that matter? Should I even care, if the newer name is a better description of the content?

Today, i wanted to ride my 60v electric scooter like i always do, i turned the key on and saw that the voltage was at 61v and dropped down to 3v in around 5 seconds before the voltometer stopped displaying the voltage. Now whenever i turn the key on, the voltage shows around 5v and droppes down to around 3v before the voltometer stops displaying the voltage. The electric scooter doesn't seem to be charging either, when i plug the charger in, the light stays on green.
Around 2 days ago, i accidantly cut the cable of the key ignition that shows the voltage, when i did that, the cable sparked a bit before i was able to seperate the the black cable (the cable for the voltage i think) from the green and red cable. I replaced the key ignition and the electric scooter was working. One thing i noticed is sometimes when im full throttle on the electric scooter, the electric scooter doesn't give the full power, but when i release the throttle 10% or more and accelerate fully again, i get the full power. The electric scooter is only ridden around 800km and rarely in rain, even when ridden in rain its only for like 5 minutes and in light rain so i can get to the gym. last time ridden in rain is almost 2 month ago.
I am suspecting that the battery is faulty, which would suck since i used to really take good care of my electric scooter and never get near 55 volts or less and only use full throttle for a short time (most of the time riding about 24km/h). i also never charged the electric scooter with a 2a charger.
If the battery is faulty, where can i buy a new one and how much does it cost? the one i have is a 60 21ah battery. i've heard that people buy batteries from alibaba, but i've seen som prices that are too good to be true.
my electric scooter is the Classywalk N8 / TNE Creator V60 / Bolzzen Gladiator 6021, very similar to the Zero 10X

We honestly haven't been together for very long but I've already fallen in love with him, this is my longest relationship despite it only being about a little over 3 months since most of my relationships were teen flings and this is his first relationship. He initially thought he was asexual but realized he was demi-sexual as he came to have an attraction towards me sexually (I am not asexual but had expressed I'd be fine in an asexual relationship as well as he made the first move to my surprise) I noticed he'd been acting differently towards me over the last few weeks and finally asked him about it, he had been sick for a while and had stress from his job so I initially suspected that it was that. but he just didn't seem to enjoy being around me as much anymore and was uninterested in whatever we did, he still seemed happy just not as much. when I finally asked him he said he had noticed how he had been acting and realized he has new feelings about the relationship that he is unsure what they are or about, he expressed he knew they weren't negative and he isn't unhappy with me and that he sees me as a wonderful partner and does love me but isn't sure what is going on within himself. he planned on talking to his therapist about it before telling me since all of this is new to him (referencing again that this is his first relationship) he wanted to figure out what was going on and how to bring up the convo but I just happened to bring it up first. I know people with autism can have a hard time navigating feelings so I feel it might help to mention he is autistic. I feel maybe I just need to be patient with him so he can figure things out,as again, this is all new to him. I asked him if he might break up with me and he reponded saying he thinks he'd need quite a bit more time before coming to something like that and never seriously thought about it. should I wait it out and be patient with him? does this just mean our relationship is already over? I feel like no matter what in the end he's going to break up with me but that may just be my insecurities and I kinda wanna see if that's what happens in the end even if it takes him a bit to figure it out but I also don't know if it's the best idea. any advice is helpful.

I won't disclose its actual location, so if that's why you're here, sorry to disappoint. It's not time for that yet. However, I do think it's time to start getting the word out. I've noticed an increase in what I'll call "Antennas" lately, or people who can detect cross-planar phase shifts. Without getting into all the math (some of which I don't even know), this is basically a phenomenon which refers to entropy seeping into our universe from other realms or universes or whatever you want to call it. Simply put, people think our universe is a closed system to entropy, meaning that the disorder of any variable in our universe can only increase or decrease in direct proportion to other variables in that same system (the universe). Under this precept, we can establish rules like the Laws of Thermodynamics, and for most people, they're effective. But not for Antennas.
Put another way, if you throw a bunch of bouncy balls into a box, there are a number of different configurations that the balls could take on, with different speeds and magnitudes. You can calculate all of those if you have the right numbers. Now let's say you throw in another set of balls that you don't consider in your calculations of the initial set. Well, then you're not going to get an accurate picture of what's happening. Most people only see the first set and calculate based on that, but some people can see two, three, four or more sets.
You'll understand the concept better when I tell you the story, but I wanted to give you a primer on an important concept that will help you understand why this place, which I'll call "Area X", exists, and what the goals of the people who work there are.
Also note that I'm going to be using the alias "Trent" moving forward. Please refer to me as such in any direct messages.
***
Eighteen years ago I started working as an independent Home Inspector. I dropped out of community college after my first semester (not because I didn't find some of the subjects interesting, but because deference to a man or woman has never been my style) and started working some odd jobs. I did construction work for a couple years, then plumbing. I even drove a garbage truck for six months. I've always found pleasure in using my hands, and getting dirty was never a problem for me. Still, having a boss really dragged ass, so I spent my free time working on creating my own business. It took a few years and lots of savings, but I finally managed to get basic set of Home Inspection equipment: Tyvek coveralls, a cheap half-face respirator, voltage & AFCI/GFCI testers, CO2 and radon monitors, an IR camera, and telescoping mirrors in addition to the boots, safety glasses, electric gloves, ladder, and toolkits I already had on hand.
My buddy at the time was in the business, but he was moving off to the coast, so he helped me get set up and even introduced me to some of his clients. Of course, by that time I had already gotten my State license, but I still was a bit apprehensive to work with insurance agencies. I thought I could make a living working independently, inspecting for mold or sizing up a house for a prospective buyer. Eventually, though, I realized I should probably take every job available to me.
Easing into the business went about as well as it could have. The clients my friend referred to me were very satisfied with my work, and I was able to retain them. Then, in order to increase my reach, I hired someone on Fiverr to build a website for my company which led to a marked increase in traffic and conversions. About six months through, I began to get on a first-name basis with the boys and girls down down at Allstate and Progressive, and they fed me some of the bigger cases. In fact, I got so booked by year's end that I had to hire someone to help manage my schedule and the Excel spreadsheet with all my finances. I capped off a successful year with a 5-star Google rating and a trip to Ireland to visit some family and friends and get piss drunk. When I got back, it was the grindstone all over again, until the summer when I discovered… well, you'll see.
First off, I want to say that I was never one to believe in the paranormal. I grew up watching the movies and hearing the ghost stories round the campfire like every other kid, but it never struck a chord with me. If I can't touch it or see it or hear it, does it really exist? Probably not. So don't go thinking this was a scared man seeing his own shadow. That being said, I had this sense that something was off about this house when I parked along the curb and looked through a large window, perhaps two times the size of my van, to a dingy, dark foyer.
The entire neighborhood was stacked with upper-middle class domiciles, though it seemed like only two thirds of them were occupied, mostly by professionals who commuted to the City every weekday, and the rest were empty. As a man who understands real estate, to say this was strange would be an understatement. Still, I had no problem appraising the mini-mansion for a couple of newlyweds looking to enter the community. I did some research on the property ahead of time, and it seems that it was owned by a couple of old timers who had gone off the grid some time ago. The water and electric bill were both unpaid dating back to 2004 (it was June of '06 now). The bank had repo'd the house (which only had about 100k left on it) and held it for a year and a half before putting it back on the market. I tried to find out more about the old couple who vanished, but there was nothing in the news.
I stepped out of the van in my coveralls and grabbed my suitcase which had my mask, gloves, and eye protection in it. I liked to do a preliminary survey first, running an eye test on the exterior then interior before bringing out the big guns (that way I could identify the areas where I think there could be problems instead of running a metal detector over the whole damn ocean seaboard). I was about to do just that when the window caught my eye again. It felt uncharacteristic of me to be so occupied with this window, but I detoured to the front porch and peeked inside anyway.
Most of the furniture had already been moved out, meaning all that was left was a single three-seater couch, a couple candlesticks on the fireplace mantle, a pristine chandelier overtop a dining room table, and the kitchenware: an oven, gas stovetop, marble countertops, and an island. I could see into the living room very clearly with the afternoon light, but the dining room was dim enough that there were a few structures I couldn't quite make out in the distance. One of them appeared to be some kind of china cabinet or bookshelf—I figured it was the former considering where it was located. The other shadow looked kind of like a grandfather clock. Or at least that's what I thought until it moved.
When I say it "moved", I don't mean to say that it picked up and walked away. If you're not familiar with the Necker Cube, I suggest you search it up, because that kind of illusion is the best way to describe what I saw. At first I was seeing the grandfather clock in a certain way—pushed into the corner of the room—and the next second my vision "corrected" and it was maybe five feet to the left of its former position. I shook my head and looked again and saw the grandfather clock in its second orientation, standing in the center of the room against the wall. I figured I was just seeing things, but even so I spent a little extra time dawdling around the Egress window, taking notes, and delaying the interior inspection.
When I finally grew a pair and went inside, I walked straight to the dining room. Sure enough, the grandfather clock was stowed away in the corner of the room. I spent a couple minutes watching it with my pencil and travel notebook out. I'm the kind of guy that likes to collect hard data when the chips are down. Unfortunately, the clock apparently already had enough fun and was content with sweating me. Oh, well.
I fitted my pencil behind my ear and pocketed my travel notebook, then flipped the rest of the first floor lights on and completed my prelim. I concluded that everything was pretty standard. If anything, the house was in better shape than I'd expect considering it presumably hasn't been lived in for a couple years. I say "presumably" because one can never count out squatters, even during those times. Mainly I was expecting more dust build up and cobwebs than there were. Perhaps someone from the department had come by recently. It's unlikely, but possible.
I did the same check upstairs and it came back mostly clean. There was a bit of staining near the attic I wanted to check for mold. Based on its color, it was probably just a minor case of Aspergillus, but better safe than sorry. Then I got to the basement, and, well, let's just count out the idea of anyone dropping by. I don't know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn't what I found.
The first thing that caught my eye was the long, slender body of a birch tree lying pale and dead across a large portion of the even larger unfinished basement's cement flooring. I had to do a double take to make sure I wasn't dreaming, but, yep, there it was. Its crown was sealed up in the wall with only its trunk hanging out, which made me think of those medieval pillory devices which locked up people's heads and arms. Then confetti-scattered around the tree and all over the basement floor was a minefield of broken glass and ceramic tangled up with a set of random objects. And when I say random, I mean random. There was an unfurled Somali flag (the blue one with a single star in the center), some packaged drinks and condiments branded with all sorts of different languages (I could only make out Gaelic and Chinese or Japanese, I couldn't quite tell), a broken dome-shaped security camera, an otoscope (the thing the doc uses to check your ears), Hot Wheels cars (okay that one isn't so strange), and the list goes on.
At that moment, I wasn't freaked out or disgusted. I was more or less just confused. I started walking through the rubble, trying to avoid the sharp fragments but pretty confident that my steel toed boots would crush most the pieces anyway, when I heard a clink just up ahead. I was able to spot the coin in time, just before it jingled to a halt atop an old Life magazine. I picked it up and noted right away its oval shape and bronze color—clearly not American made. I tried reading it, but not only was the language not English, it appeared to be so old that most of the lettering had been filed down. I looked up at the ceiling to see if it dropped from a shelf, but there was nothing that could have been holding the coin. I considered for a moment, looking around at the other junk, and had the crazy idea that maybe all this stuff just appeared here. I popped the coin in my pocket and headed back to the van when I stopped by the tree and realized something. It wasn't a birch tree—it was a palm tree. I just didn't realize because of how ashy and decayed the bark was.
Now at this point you might think I've been acting a little nonchalant for such a strange occurrence, and I don't blame you, but if you're gonna stick around with me that's just something you're gonna have to get used to. I guess I was just born with a screw loose, but I really don't scare easily, and I tend to look at everything pragmatically. If you dig deep enough, you'll always find another plausible explanation. That being said, I do want to get to the part about Area X, so let me give you the rundown on what I learned about this basement.
I ended up trekking back to the van and picking up my gear. I was no longer running the routine inspection, obviously, but I figured I might as well throw 30 thousand dollars of scanning equipment at whatever the fuck anamoly existed in that basement. Most of it came back negative. There was a bit higher-than-usual EM interference as picked up on the voltmeters, but nothing that screamed danger close. Still, it was enough for me to set up my volt testers and IR camera while muddling through the rest of the junk. I won't bore you with another list of items, but I did find one thing of value: a diamond necklace. And not just any diamond necklace, it was one of those Queen-wearing, multi-row, big-jeweled necklaces like out of some Historical Fiction movie from the thirties. I almost didn't pocket it because I'm used to expensive items being owned by someone… someone who might want it back. But I figured if there was ever a place the finder's keeper's rule applied, it was probably in this Quantum graveyard.
7 O'clock rolled around and I hadn't eaten. I'm a pretty bulky guy, carrying my share of both muscle and fat, and most people think that means I need to eat a ton but that's really not the case. Mostly I just get dehydrated easily, especially in the summer. That said, I was bordering on famished territory and considered heading out for a bite when I heard another sound. The first thing I did was check my scanners, and sure enough the voltage needle was fully spun to the right side of the dial. EM interference. Then I went to see what had dropped. I was able to pick the object out pretty quickly since I had spent the last 6 hours staring at the mosaic of a basement floor. It was a silver briefcase, like one of those out of a crime novel, and it was cracked open.
I had this sense then that I was standing at a precipice, and if I opened the briefcase and looked inside, I wouldn't be able to stop whatever would come afterwards. Part of me deep down knew that I was just that type of guy that had to know, and maybe this was my Hamlet moment where it would be a trait gone a step too far. But then again I didn't really believe in any of that sentimental bullshit, so I opened the briefcase.
The gun surprised me a little, but not as much as the piece of paper laid atop a case file reading in large black font, "FIND ME". I expected the envelope to have some missing person file in it, but instead there were all these schematics and blueprints for some kind of device. Whatever it was, it was pretty massive. Some of the lengths were hundreds of meters long. And what's more strange is based on the blueprint's locale, it appeared to be underground. I looked back through the pages a couple times, then checked the note—nothing strange there. The gun appeared to be a simple glock. I was no gun expert, but I had been to the range pretty regularly with my construction buddies, so I got used to the feel of a pistol and rifle and some of the different names; however, I realized pretty quickly it wasn't your standard glock when I couldn't find mag-release. That's when I noticed how light the gun felt. I tried to chamber a round, but again, there was no hammer. What the hell kind of gun was this?
I ended up throwing everything back in the briefcase, including the necklace, coin, and a few Koozies I found that were branded with one of my favorite sports teams (never let an opportunity go to waste). I put up all my shit back in the van and spun over to a local burger joint, got my fill, and went home. I made sure to draft an email to the prospective buyers, telling them the house had several patches of black mold and a bit of a rat problem before drifting off to sleep. Although I really didn't do much of that.
When I woke up, I took a cold shower and downed a can of Reign, then commuted to my gym and got a lift and some sauna time in before making the trip back to the house. I brought some extra supplies with me for some experiments I cooked up while not sleeping the previous night.
First, I had two camcorders set up on a couple tripods in either corner of the basement. I wanted clear footage of these mystery objects spawning in. Then I set up a voltmeter in a similar fashion, but I had a wire extending out of it on a circuit which fed to an alarm that would blare when the reading was over 250 volts. Upstairs, I rearranged some of the furniture so that the small number of tables, chairs, clock, cabinets, and other little pillows or vases I could find were scattered across the living room, dining room, and kitchen. Then I pulled up a lawn chair to the front porch window and waited.
I didn't have to wait long though. In about a minute, I started to notice some of the objects moving. It was strange. When a few of them would shift simultaneously, it was like looking at a holographic card that would change shape depending on where your eyes were in relation to the image. Every time I saw a shift, I felt an awkward feeling in my eyes. They went blurry for a fraction of a second, then there was a twinge of pain, as if my brain couldn't handle the contradictory stimulus. It didn't get more crazy than that though—until the alarm went off.
I had cracked open the small rectangular window in the basement to the side of the house so I would hear it. It took four hours and several strange stares from passersby walking their dogs before it rang, so I was a bit lost in my thoughts, but when I heard the beep I perked up fast. It lasted for maybe 5 seconds total, but what I saw was truly miraculous. The best way I can describe it is a pool of silver or gray or translucent light emerging in the foreground between me and the objects in the different rooms. A series of twisting tentacles sprouted from the gray octopus-like head and spun in a way that reminded me of that little kids ride at the amusement parks. Then the objects started to "heat up" is the way I describe it. Their position became relative, meaning they were here one second, there another, then they popped out of existence entirely. Suddenly the rooms were all empty, then they were full of things I had never seen before. Then five seconds passed and the octopus vanished and it was back to the same old objects in their usual places.
It took a few minutes to process what I saw, and even then I wasn't sure I really saw it. I went inside and looked around at my distribution of the house's furnishings. They were all there, intact. Then I went downstairs to check the cams. I rewinded a couple minutes and played it back, but there was no flying object to be found. Instead, there was some gray static that lasted half a second and then the object, a kid's treasure chest toy, was there on the ground. But you want to know the really strange part? I rewinded the tape again, and when I watched the footage back, the treasure chest was always there.
I later came to understand that these poppings in-and-out of our reality are only conceivable to a conscious mind that can track the interference patterns—not rote computational instruments. In fact, even most people can't do it (although everyone has at least a slight awareness of it, even if only subconsciously). Plus, locations like the basement of this house are very rare and kept under tight lock. That became obvious to me two days later when, after my normal morning routine, I pulled up to a driveway and curbside filled with unmarked government vehicles. Either bravely or stupidly, I pulled up to a few officers (they were wearing suits in 85 degree weather, so I assumed…) who were idling by the large fence of crime scene tape and asked them what the score was.
"There was a crime," said the short man with a unibrow.
"Oh, is that right? Damn shame. Someone break in? I have a niece who lives nearby, so…"
The man looked at his two compatriots, both of whom were wearing sunglasses and a "get this civilian fuck out of here" expressions. "Oh, yeah," he started in a reassuring tone that was so condescending it would have annoyed anyone except me, "we found a body. We think it was a homicide. Best to keep your kids away from here for a while."
I thumbed the stubble on my chin, my other hand outstretched on the wheel, and considered moving on, but my mouth had other ideas. "That right? But uh, isn't this house vacant? I mean, I don't remember no one living in it."
The short man, now tall with temper, said, "Yeah, some squatters. We think there was a dispute over some drug money. Nothing for you to worry about though, we got it under control. Now if you wouldn't mind moving along, we have a lot of work to do."
Oh, I'm sure you do, I thought, but only said, "Of course, sir, sorry for keeping you from your job." Then I rolled up the window and cruised on, keeping my eyes on the house which slowly diminished in the side-view mirror.
Luckily I had been smart enough to break down my camp and lug home all my equipment each night, so I didn't leave anything incriminating. I didn't move the furniture back, so maybe that would come back to haunt me, but considering the kind of shit going down in that house, I didn't think they would notice.
For any of you wondering about the conclusion of the house story, I went back a couple weeks later after the suits had left and the tape was taken down and confirmed that not only was the basement entirely cleaned out, but it was no longer exhibiting any strange properties. I looked for a story related to the house, maybe a made up murder of some kind, but there was nothing. That bastard lied to me and didn't even bother to cover his story up.
Now, in the aftermath of an event such as this, I really only had one of two options. I could forget it, move on, continue living life. The necklace was surely worth a fortune. I could sell it and have enough to retire, or at least hire enough people and expand my business large enough to retire within ten or so years. Or I could take all that money and invest it in my own PI business with only a single objective: finding out what those people knew, and why they were hiding it.
I think you know me well enough by now to guess which line of reasoning appealed more to me.
***
For the sake of brevity, I'm going to omit most of my encounters along the journey to discovering Area X. There's a lot to tell, and if it appeals to you perhaps I'd be willing to share at a later date, but for now I want to get this part of the story, the more proximal part, out in the open.
Three years ago, I discovered the source of what I'll call "The Receiver". This is the device that was schematized in the documents that I found in the briefcase. What it does is a complex answer, and how it does it is pretty much all speculation, but here's what I've been able to find out: this universe we live in is a node in a network of many other spaces. These spaces exist in higher dimensions that we cannot directly perceive, but using a conceivable analogy, just think about a flower with petals. The petals are these other dimensions which bleed into our world, which is at the center. However, it's not that pretty. We see the physical world through the lens of spacetime: sizes, speeds, etc. These other dimensions don't necessarily have space or time. In fact, what actually exists there, I couldn't say. The only data I have on them is from two sources: correspondence information and server data from the secret agency (which I'll call "the Organization") that keeps this under wraps, and first-hand experience with realms from these other entities, either directly (I experience it) or through the eyes of someone else with the same or greater abilities than I possess.
I referred to these people with abilities earlier as "Antennas", and I will continue to use the term. Antennas really come in three flavors, marked by the strength of their ability: weak Antennas, like me, are able to observe spontaneous interactions between our universe and other dimensions (phase shifts) when there is a strong force of collision like existed in the basement; moderate Antennas may see phase shifts occur at any point, and they usually are able to retain memories from across the different transformations; strong Antennas, and I don't know if they exist yet, but they are able to consciously interact with these other realms and cause phase shifts to occur.
I mentioned that moderate Antennas are able to retain memories from before and after a phase shift. Technically, all Antennas have this ability, but it's about degree. I can recall only very specific instances and without much detail. Moderates are usually able to pick out much more nuanced minutiae. At the lower end of moderate scale, most of those details fade or get fuzzy over time, but for the very strong Antennas, they hold onto almost everything. One other property that scales with strength is interaction with other conscious entities. Only a small percentage of moderates are able to do this. What's interesting is that these entities can possess (yes, like ghosts) people who aren't even antennas, but no one is aware of such possession at this deep of a level. I have several companions now, and only two have had interactions with these otherworldly beings. Not all of them are malevolent, some of them are whimsical or kind, but there are a fair share of demons out there.
Getting back to the point, Area X started as a government funded project in the 70's. At that time, they were focused on a few subjects: Artificial Intelligence, DNA sequencing, and psychedelics. Yes, they were part of the infamous LSD experiments. But they looked at these subjects through a common lens—there was something that the burgeoning tech industry, fueled by the advent of a commercial computer market, was missing. As the tech giants rose in the early 2000's and began to collect mass amounts of data, this other agency was decades ahead in a different metric, although it was completely (and still is) hidden from the public. Their efforts to understand psychedelic experiences led to a formalized method of understanding interactions between multiple realities. They built certain scanning equipment to detect anomalies like the one I found in the basement; although their tools were much more sophisticated and didn't utilize voltage readings. Then they ran tests in these areas. One area in particular is a hot-bed of phase shift interactions. That's where Area X is located (and the Receiver).
The Receiver is a giant electromagnetic orb that has trapped the kind of multi-dimensional energy that causes the phase shifts; since the Organization seized control of the lab, it's effectively become a map of the Earth in relation to these other worlds. For the past twenty or so years, the Organization has been studying this map, using the data big Tech companies have collected to essentially develop a Rosetta Stone for interpreting the meaning of the fluctuations in their scanning equipment. Recently, the public, though going the long way round, was actually pretty close to a breakthrough in this same department until recently when ultra-powerful LLMs surfaced, and the whole world began going down what I'd argue is the wrong rabbit hole of language processing. But I digress.
Area X is essentially a private military base built for defending the most impactful piece of technology ever invented. With the Receiver, the Organization now has the power to essentially predict any and all future outcomes, the only thing holding them back is the limitations of their own scanning equipment which will get better with time. To put it into perspective, the Organization has access to a kind of data allocation tool which in one day can produce over ten thousand times that the Big Data companies combined would be able to filter through in the next decade. You might think, then, that the problem is merely asymmetric power, and that is certainly a concern, but it isn't the main concern. The main issue is that this organization is actively recruiting (and kidnapping) Antennas from around the world in an effort to find or make one of them into a strong Antenna. In other words, they want a subject who is able not only to see the future, but to manipulate it at will.
balance to the world. I've been working on amassing resources, capital, and building my own team, and now I'm ready. You might ask why I'm posting this here. Wouldn't it be better to keep all this secret? Well, yes, it would be. But that's the problem. Nothing is secret anymore. They know about me and the others, and if I don't make a move, they will. In a way, this is a letter directly to the organization that I know, and I'm coming.
In a different way, I wanted to release this information to the public. There are lots of people out there waking up and realizing that the world they experience is not the one others experience. If you think you might be an Antenna, don't be afraid—you have a special gift that can be controlled. If you want more details on how to control it, or if you're interested in my mission, don't be afraid to reach out. This hasn't always been my life's work, but it is now.
At least until I die.

This happened probably 8ish years ago. I was working at my 2nd job ever, both that and my 1st were restaurants. Worked both those jobs for 3-4 years. During my time at my 2nd job I decided to work part time at my old job for more money. I quickly regretted this as it was very draining and quit after a month. But I still left on good terms and it wasn't a big deal.
I decided to go to my old work for dinner by myself and see some friends. The manager saw me and asked if I wanted to sit in anyone's section, I said it doesn't matter who ever. She mentioned she had a new waitress and it would be good for her.
I still had stuff on the menu memorized and this place was a place that very much hired what would look like "outcasts and rebel" in Hollywood movies. Everyone is usually very friendly and chatty. The only drama that would happen was coworker relationship drama. All around good vibes when ever I worked there.
I would ask questions about the menu to see her knowledge, made sure to smile and be polite. Never corrected her or anything. I did verify with a friend who walked by on a couple of things because they were things I used to order and she said they couldn't make it them anymore. My friend did confirm she was mistaken. All around very nice bubbly waitress.
When I worked there, light hearted pranks weren't uncommon. Talked to the host stand (still knew them) and asked if she was the type who would come to the host stand to complain about someone stiffing them. They weren't sure, so I asked do you think she was the type that would take it personal? They said no and also agreed leaving the tip at the host stand would be one of those "that bastard, oh nevermind" type moments when she got the tip at the host stand. So my meal was like $20, and I left a $20 tip at the host stand.
Later the manager calls me asking what was so bad about the service. Since she knows I always tip well. I told her I left $20 at the host stand. Well the bubbly nice girl quit. The manager hinted people at the restaurant were bullying her and she didn't like the work environment.
I still think about that phone call and feel bad for this poor girl. I only ever go there now when other people want to. But man do I feel like a royal douche. Me mentioning the confirming the host stand part wasn't to pass the blame off, but just to show I did understand some people take it personal. I just didn't think she would because of how happy and bubbly she seemed so figured she would be the later. Which is 100% my fault.
TL;DR - Went to my old work, thought not leaving a tip at the table but leaving it at the host stand for her would be a funny moment. But she quit her job.
Thought about it a right before typing this and it is very much a I messed up moment.

Around last week I finished reading the book "A Little Life" and in one part, the main character is very depressed and describes how eating feels disgusting and that's why he doesn't really eat anymore. The thing is that I have never thought of that until then and now, when I eat that part comes unintentionally to my mind sometimes. I don't like purging so I don't do it even when I think I've eaten too much, but now I feel a big urge because I just can't stand the food in my mouth, whatever it is, and it feels gross. I can't just not eat even if I wanted to because my grandma already thinks I'm eating less and idk what to do:(

Me (20) and my now ex-girlfriend (29) were together for a year (I was 19 and she was 28 when we met). We met due to studying the same course at university and we instantly hit it off. The start of our relationship was very intense. It felt perfect. We had an amazing connection, things seemed to flow so naturally, and things therefore moved very quickly. I even visited her home country and met her family after only a month of being together. We spent so much time together and we seemed perfect for each other. As a result, we both became very quickly attached to one another. Despite how perfect things were in the beginning, there were occasional glimpses of our own issues making their way into the relationship. For example, I started noticing small, sudden shifts in her moods and behaviour towards me. She was always so talkative, bubbly, and enthusiastic towards me, but there were a few instances during which she suddenly became more distant and silent, and her behaviour felt different than usual. This confused me, especially considering I didn’t know what the reason was. It left me guessing if there was perhaps a problem between us or if it was just a natural shift in her mood. Sometimes, it was due to her having a problem with me and other times it was just a natural fluctuation in her mood. However, I would always have to guess which one it was and as a result I started to become very aware of her moods and I felt like I had to start paying a lot of attention to the relationship to not accidentally upset or disappoint her in any way. When things were good between us, I rarely felt insecure, but when I suddenly started noticing shifts in her mood or behaviour towards me, I started to feel anxious and insecure.
To further elaborate, at times in the relationship, I found it difficult to read, predict, and understand her moods and her behaviour towards me: her behaviour felt inconsistent to me at times. One day she was super loving, talkative, and interested in me, and the next day it felt different. However, I didn't know if my feelings were justified or if I was simply overthinking and overanalysing her behaviour. Since she didn't tell me what was the matter even when I asked her, I was left confused and still guessing why there were these shifts in her mood.
She did tell me that she found it scary to trust others and, therefore, to be fully open with me. She told me that was why she would push me away sometimes, meaning that my feelings were not completely unjustified. She admitted herself that she could be a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. She was also older than me and more the independent type, and didn't always need a lot of attention, which is also an explanation for her change in behaviour. However, I didn't know that at the beginning of the relationship.
There were times where it felt like I had to follow an exact script on how to act or what to say to not upset her. She would become upset at times, because she didn’t think I appreciated her or because I didn’t give her the reaction she had in her mind. When I didn't live up to these unspoken expectations, she became more distant and silent (or even slightly pasisve aggressive), like I mentioned before. She wanted me to naturally know what she wanted, since in her mind it was obvious and she didn’t feel like she was a hard person to to read, but it wasn't obvious to me. This didn’t happen too often, but it still had an effect on me.
To give an example of how she could deal with these unspoken expectations, there was an instance when we did grocery shopping together. I paid for it at the time, but she told me to send her a payment request for half of it and when I did so a few days later, I immediately noticed a slight change in her energy towards me. When I questioned her about this, she told me that there was nothing wrong, but when I came round her place later that day. she was extremely cold and unaffectionate towards me. Her reaction was like I had cheated on her. I wasn't allowed to sit or be close to her, she was visibly upset, she wouldn't talk to me, and I had to sleep on the opposite side of the bed. I even mentioned if me sending her a payment request was an issue, but she told me that it was fine since she had told me that I could send her one. The next day she was hot and cold towards me, going from acting normally towards me to cold and distant again. Only after I became very upset and questioned her about it again did she tell me that the reason she was acting that way was because she wanted me to offer to pay for the groceries. She had paid for the groceries last time, so she wanted me to pay for them this time (I would have had no problem at all with paying, but since she told me to send her a payment request, I did). She told me that she became upset when I hadn't offered to do so naturally, which caused her to feel like I didn't appreciate or care about her enough. This was the most extreme example from our relationship, though. However, this situation caused me to lose some trust in her and her words.
Her behaviour wasn't intentional. It seemed to be due to a mix of her character and the things she had gone through in her past. It seemed like it was more of a coping/protective mechanism for her. She was aware of this, but her awareness wasn't always enough for her to cope in a different way.
In the cases where I felt like there was a shift in her behaviour, mood, or energy, it left me guessing if there was anything wrong. I had learned to associate a change in her mood as there potentially being something wrong. I was just afraid of there being a problem between us and not knowing about it, like the payment request situation (and other situations).
At times, my insecurities, anxious attachment, and my resulting codependency from this relationship significantly affected her and put a strain on the relationship. For example, there could be absolutely nothing wrong and I would create a problem out of nowhere. I was dependent on her for my happiness and if there was even a slight bit of attention focused on someone else, it would bother me. Sometimes, this would make me overly needy and controlling. This frustrated and triggered her a lot, because she also wanted to give other people attention and felt suffocated by my unreasonable demands. This was also a reoccurring pattern in the relationship.
My fear of there being a problem between us which I might not know about, my fear of not being as important to her as she was to me, and therefore, my fear of losing her became too strong at times, which caused me to become insecure and worried. Especially the times where my insecurity and worry was unjustified affected her a lot. During those times, she felt like I was causing issues for no reason and she felt upset and frustrated that, despite her giving me lots of attention the days before, I would still need reassurance and interpret her behaviour as there being something wrong between us. This made her feel drained, annoyed, suffocated, and upset.
Her reactions tended to be quite defensive and dismissive towards me. I understand her reaction, because her feelings were completely justified, but she chose to respond in those ways to vent her frustration. She would tell me that I was annoying, way too needy, that I should stop overthinking her behaviour, and that I should work on my insecurities. She was correct though. During these moments, I would become very apologetic. I just wanted things to be good between us. There were also times I felt like I was taking responsibility for things I didn't feel responsible for, just to make sure things were okay. She wasn't completely wrong regarding what she was saying to me, but it was harsh. It was absolutely not my intention to cause a problem or to frustrate or annoy her, but because it seemed to affect her enough for her to become so defensive, I thought that my behaviour was unacceptable and blamed myself a lot. I also started feeling like my feelings were completely irrational and therefore I started doubting myself more.
Therefore, at times, I felt like I was walking on eggshells. I was afraid of bringing up a situation in which I thought there was something wrong between us, because I was afraid of being wrong and her reactions tended to be quite defensive and dismissive. She also felt like she was walking on eggshells at times due to my tendency to overthink her behaviours. She didn’t want to cause a problem either, since even small shifts in her behaviour could worry me.
During the relationship, I could at times become jealous when I was insecure, for example when she spent time with her friends or family without me, either through texting or in real life. This would obviously frustrate her a lot and was one of the most difficult parts of the relationship for her, since she was just spending time with others and didn't see how that could be a cause of insecurity for me. I tended to be rational and calm when I was insecure or jealous, but there were occasional instances where that wasn't the case and I acted in a more passive aggressive or guilt-trippy manner. I am not usually a toxic person, but I did display some toxic behaviours at times during this relationship.
We both had past issues which we projected onto each other at times. The relationship was very intense and that meant there were also many highs and lows. We had a deep affection and care for one another and we both thought the relationship was too good to be true. For me, it felt too good to be true be in a relationship for the first time and to have a romantic experience with someone I cared so much about, because I had never experienced that before. For her, it felt too good to be true that I was so kind and caring to her, because she had never felt that before from anyone else to this extent. She had always felt let down by people before in her life and she couldn’t believe that I wasn't like them. We were both afraid of losing each other. For me, it was expressed by going above and beyond for her, a tendency to be more clingy and have a need for reassurance, wanting to always feel close and connected with her, and things like that. For her, it seemed like she could show a combination of becoming distant and pushing me away, but also becoming very vulnerable at times too and showing me lots of love and affection.
My ex told me a lot about her past trauma and how life had been quite difficult for her the past few years. Her grandmother had passed away a 6 years ago and during that time she lost her group of friends (which included her best friend) after a big conflict in which she felt unfairly treated. It seemed like she had had quite a few friendships in which she didn’t feel like her needs were being met and she tended te feel unfairly treated. It was a reoccurring theme in her life.
Her other grandmother passed away ahalf a year before we met. She didn’t really have many friendships to rely on either at that time, because she studied abroad and her friends and family were obviously not present to support her. She also struggled a lot with academic stress during our time together. She had failed a few exams and fell behind, which compounded her struggles, especially since she was still grieving the loss of her grandmother. Then, her family dog passed away very suddenly 10 months into our relationship. It felt like her dog passing away was the last drop that made the bucket overflow. She loved that dog so much and it really affected her. Her grief was very intense. These incidents played a massive role in her mood shifts, especially considering she is an emotionally sensitive person and her moods already seemed quite easily affected at times.
She wasn’t emotionally stable and her emotional regulation seemed to be lacking at times too, especially considering she was 29. I was 9 years younger than her and in general life situations, I felt like the more stable and mature person for most of the relationship. I didn’t always act that way during our conflicts, though, but in general life it seemed like I was more regulated and rational. I was also the one who tended to take on a more caretaker role in the relationship due to my codependency.
Her emotions could be intense and easily triggered by other people or life stressors. She tended to attribute her behaviour and reactions more on external factors, such as her past experiences or the bad things happening currently in her life. Of course, she did take responsibility too, but often after the fact. Initially, it always felt like the world was against her. She was often the one feeling the most hurt from her past friendships. It was hard to not feel bad for her.
As a result, during the last two months of the relationship (after her family dog passed away), her emotional instability reached its peak. It was like her world fell apart. Her moods were very up and down, and she had depressive episodes during which she broke down crying a lot. During that time, I was pretty much her only emotional support. I took care of her a lot during that period. Things became very draining for me. Towards the end, I had given everything I had for her and had put all of her needs above mine. I felt more like a parent than a boyfriend. During this difficult period, we started triggering each other more frequently. I was often worried about her well-being due to her not taking care of herself very well during this period. I was starting to find it very hard to be supportive since I had become emotionally numb around that point. I had nothing left in me anymore. When I mentioned to her that I felt drained, she would feel upset. She interpreted it as me saying that her emotions was too much and she felt invalidated. Granted, I could have worded it more clearly, but I definitely didn't say it how she interpreted it. Towards the end, my behaviour also became slightly passive aggressive and controlling/possessive at times (I told her once that it bothered me how much she was texting her friends and that I wished she would text them less), and I had made an insensitive comment. I mentioned to her that I had become slightly less attracted to her and that she had gained some weight. I had become a caretaker for her, she wasn’t really taking care of herself, and I felt like this relationship was very draining to be in, and as a result I found myself feeling slightly less attracted to her. This feeling really bothered me, because I didn't want to feel that way. I loved her and wanted to feel 100% attracted to her. I thought it would be best to simply be honest with her. However, I should have worded it differently, because it obviously hurt her a lot. I should have not made it about her attractiveness or weight. I did apologise a lot and tried to reassure her that I did still find her attractive, but the damage was already done. I meant well, but I was very naïve in thinking that bringing that up was not going to have an effect on her. That is a harsh lesson learned from my side. I still feel bad about it.
However, I also felt very unfairly treated by her during that last part of our relationship. I did so much for her during that period relationship, yet she still managed to interpret some of my behaviour as me not caring enough sometimes. She seemed to become upset more frequently about very small matters and at times it seemed like she was nit-picking problems or finding reasons to become upset at me. This resulted in her becoming distant and passive aggressive towards me. That was very frustrating and exhausting to deal with, especially when I was already starting to become emotionally drained. She would say things like “Sorry for existing then” or “I guess I’ll just stop that then” when I felt bothered by something. This was also due time her own struggles and her grief at the time, so I fully understand.
Towards the end, my needs were not getting met. I just wanted to help her through this immensely tough period and it was more important to me that her needs were met than mine. I just wanted to see her happy, because as long as she was happy, I was happy.
Overall, she was generally a very loving, funny, kind woman who obviously cared a lot for me. We created so many amazing memories together and I will never forget her or the relationship. At times, things would be absolutely perfect between us and it felt like a dream. The relationship wasn’t constantly negative. We shared periods of stability and there are many examples of times when we were able to communicate in a loving and healthy manner. We shared a real love and had an amazing connection with one another. We were together for a year so that obviously counts for something.
The relationship became unhealthy for both of us, especially towards the end. There were toxic behaviours from both sides rooted in our own issues. However, there were also periods of stability and calm. It wasn't always a constant rollercoaster. Looking back, I believe we we did share more good memories with each other than bad ones, but in the end the relationship seemed to reach a point beyond repair. She felt very drained by my constant overthinking, and my insecurity and jealousy. She felt like she had to constantly prove herself as a result, which upset her a lot. She already had her own struggles and it seemed like my insecurities became too much for her and that the relationship became too unhealthy and upsetting towards the end. This was my experience so it will undoubtedly be biased in some ways. However, it is still a valid experience and I have tried to acknowledge her side as well.

Here's the list of links to the Social Story Videos:

1. Taking Turns
   
2. Expressing Anger
   
3. I choose how I act!
   
4. Stranger Danger
   
5. Personal Space
   
6. Sharing Friends
   
7. Leaving Recess
   
8. Potty Training
   
9. Germs
   
10. Compromise
    
11. Staying with the Group
    
12. Doing Hard Things!
    

NOTE: I got through about 11 out of the 16 requests I got. I intend to get through the rest later!
Social Stories App
If you're interested in more Social Stories like this, I put together a free interactive app in my free time that lets students choose what to do in the stories. It's meant to be a fun class activity to improve social skills!
Here's the website if you'd like to give it a go. It's called Emoquest!
Thank y'all for such great story ideas. I hope these can be useful!