Pardon me if the wording is bad. I wrote and rewrote this like 100 times and never quite made it able to make sense. This is essentially just word vomiting shit.
I am starting to piece together how my shit childhood turned me into a shit person as most of my bad behaviors are reactions to this shit, and my god did my childhood suck.
My dad was an Iran-Iraq war veteran on the side of Iraq. Due to the things he saw and experienced, he became super disillusioned with life there. He found himself in some hot water when he talked about god not existing, but later found a woman who was also losing her faith and they came to America in the 80s.
He got into real estate and made a pretty penny. He and his wife agreed they didn't want kids, but then in 1995 I was born. So what is being raised by Arab atheists like? I'll give you an idea, BAD!
I've seen a lot of people talk about this like fake, controlling love people got from their parents and I never got that. I got raw dogged with hatred at every possible second. My parents NEVER missed a chance to tell me how much I ruined their childless life, how embarrassed I made them, how stupid I was, how I was never going to amount to anything, how they were obligated to care for me due to the law, and how I shouldn't exist. My very BEING is a burden to them. My dad was, and I think still is, like a millionaire due to real estate. They went on vacation like once a year, but never took me. They'd usually have a babysitter look after me, but stopped doing that after I turned 13 and said I could babysit myself.
Also, being as they were atheists, I never once had a period of magical thinking of childhood innocence. I never believed in santa, the easter bunny, the tooth fairy, god, or shit like that. I even remember being in school and making kids cry and getting into trouble for telling like 6 year olds there is no santa. I also remember getting into trouble AGAIN in middle school for making a kid cry by saying there is no god and no afterlife.
For the longest fucking time I thought shit like parents hugging or cuddling you, reading bed time stories, or eating meals together was just a thing that happened on TV. When I found out that was a thing that happened it made my chest sink. To realize just how fucked over you got. How different things could have been had my parents liked me. I guess at least I never got grounded or shit taken from me because their main method of punishing me was yelling at me, hitting me, or usually both. I fucking HATE the sound of opening doors because I think my mom or dad are coming to beat my ass.
Oh yeah, how about we deal with the elephant in the room? I'm an Arab. I grew up in Texas, do you know what being an ARAB after 2001 was like? Part of the reason I never made friends was just fucking 9/11. I remember almost making a friend when I was like 7 and his mom dragged him away from me when I told her my arabic name. The amount of times I got called "suicide bomber" or "school shooter" or "terrorist" growing up just made me hate everything. Really reminds you of how much you stick out.
But now how about the Atheist thing? I did meet other Arabs from time to time, but they all assumed I was a muslim. When I told them I didn't believe in god they got weirded out by me and then avoided me. So you know what this did? It made me feel like all the details about me as a person just lead me to get fucked over. White people hated me because I'm an Arab but all the Arabs I met hated me because I'm not a muslim.
I also just got straight up hated by my teachers. Yeah, we don't give them enough credit, but they can be good bullies too. One of my worst memories regarding teacher is when I had to write a book report about some book called Cracker which was about a dog in vietnam or something. When the teacher read my shit, she held it up in front of the class and called me stupid. Saying this is how NOT to do media analysis and straight up told the other kids to laugh at me. No really, I am not kidding. She told them to laugh at me for how stupid I am. Being 13 was rough, man.
Something similar happened to me in high school when we had to write a book report about The Illustrated Man, good book btw, and I was given an assignment. We had to write about The Long Rain and I wrote about it. When we came up to get our shit, the teacher straight up said loudly to the entire class I got an F. He then said to the entire class, "Don't be like her." So whenever I think of that whole media analysis shit and how much it bothers me, I think of them. How I got publicly shamed twice for daring to think of media in a particular way.
I should also note at this point that I have PCOS, so I have more testosterone than the average woman. Never had a period. Guess what, now I feel like I can't really relate to women. I even remember after my diagnosis, my dad mocked me and said that I was not really a woman or a man now. Thanks dad. I also wound up a lot taller and beefier than other women. Boys in high school were often scared of me because I'm like 6'0.
There was this one time a boy asked me on a date. He was cute and said he liked how tall and powerful I looked. It was one of the nicest things I ever heard. He said he wanted to spend time with me by the creek. I went with him and when I got there, he pantsed me and a group of his friends came out and I was pushed into the creek. They all stood around and laughed at me. The guy then said, "You think anyone would like a weird girl like you?" And yeah. That shit also made me paranoid to even try to love. I never downloaded any dating apps, because I worried I'd go on a date with a guy and it would be a trap like that.
All of this just led to me feeling like a fucking burden. That the best I can hope for is to NOT be seen. If my parents saw me, I'm getting mocked or yelled at. I once told my mother I was depressed and feel worthless, to which she told me to maybe consider killing myself. I remember another moment akin to this happened. I came home from school one day and there was this scene on the TV of a man pressing a gun to his chin. My mom then looked at me and told me if I was ever going to kill myself to put the gun in my mouth because sometimes people who press the gun to their chin can survive it, but eating your gun guarantees you'll die.
Fuck. Yeah, dunno. It just makes me feel like I am not supposed to be here. These were the moments people saw me. In truth, like 90% of my time was spent alone. I think back to it and so much of my time was just me wandering town aimlessly. I walked a lot and far! One time, I literally spent 6 hours just walking. Again, by myself. My parents didn't care if I never came home. How do I know? They told me. I did consider running away a few times, but never mustered up the gall to do it. Being alone and lonely is just the status quo for me. You're either invisible or you're a BOTHER! Be invisible. It hurts, but it's better than being seen.
I guess the last thing I wanna say is TV fucked my head too. TV tells you that jerks and assholes have a hidden heart of gold. You see terrible characters secretly turned out to care all along. I guess I assumed that about my parents. They're traumatized Iraqis, so they're just hurt! One day, they'll show you their hidden heart of gold. It's sucks but that's not true. A lot of time awful people are just awful all the way. And fuck man, to this day I still think it. How often I assume I can "know someone's suffering," but what does that mean? Your feelings are valid, but your behavior isn't. My mother and father's trauma of the Iran-Iraq war is valid. Them spending 18 fucking years tormenting me? Not valid.
Yeah, kinda felt nice to word vomit my childhood trauma. If you took the time to read it, thanks. If not... valid.
TL;DR: my parents hit me and now I'm a 28 year old femcel who can't get a boyfriend.

Having finally submitted a month-long drag of a project where I had to endure a lot of ridicule infront of my colleagues, I was thinking of the most embarrassing situations Ive been in.
Here it goes.
Farted when in a group: As a teenager, I used to get together with my cousins. Once,while playing a board game, an upset stomach went bonkers creating a heckload of laughter. This gave me a long lasting nickname.
Falling on my butt: It was onam at my workplace and, guess what, I fell on my butt while the design was being laid. This incident still plays in my head.
And the worst one
Pantsed by kids: This happened during our girls gang reunion from college. All my married friends brought their kids , and I was best friend to all of them, as I have had a close bonding with children in general. Once, we were sliding on the staircase in the big gathering area of the hotel. I slipped off while doing my round and was hanging by the step. Unfortunately, I was wearing a lungi and it came off. The worst part came when the kids decided to use a bicycle toy pump to pull my underwear down. What followed was a series of "shame, shame,puppy shame" and the girls having a good laugh.

Having finally submitted a month-long drag of a project where I had to endure a lot of ridicule infront of my colleagues, I was thinking of the most embarrassing situations Ive been in.
Here it goes.
Farted when in a group: As a teenager, I used to get together with my cousins. Once,while playing a board game, an upset stomach went bonkers creating a heckload of laughter. This gave me a long lasting nickname.
Falling on my butt: It was onam at my workplace and, guess what, I fell on my butt while the design was being laid. This incident still plays in my head.
And the worst one
Pantsed by kids: This happened during our girls gang reunion from college. All my married friends brought their kids , and I was best friend to all of them, as I have had a close bonding with children in general. Once, we were sliding on the staircase in the big gathering area of the hotel. I slipped off while doing my round and was hanging by the step. Unfortunately, I was wearing a lungi and it came off. The worst part came when the kids decided to use a bicycle toy pump to pull my underwear down. What followed was a series of "shame, shame,puppy shame" and the girls having a good laugh.

Let me preface this by saying that my son (5M) didn't even realize that anything happened. If my son had shown any awareness, let alone embarrassment, anger, etc., I know would have intervened differently. Having said that...
Yesterday, I brought my son to an indoor "playground" (basically a kid-friendly obstacle course with padded walls) for a playdate with one of his best friends (also 5M); the boy's mom and younger sibling (2F) were there as well. My son and his friend play wonderfully together and I really like his mom a lot... she's definitely my closest "mom friend" although our interactions are mostly limited to kid activities.
Suffice it to say, the indoor playground is chaos. The configuration also creates some blind spots depending on where you're standing, so when we have a playdate with this friend the mom and I often split duties if her toddler is there too. I was with the boys in an "open gym" area that has BIG cubes, wedges, etc. that are heavy, but can get moved around. The boys were both trying to jump up on a cube that was almost as tall as them, so after a few full-body slams, I started walking toward them to offer a boost (or maybe a step). At that moment, my son was almost pulling himself up and it looked like his friend was kinda pushing him up by the butt (teamwork?), but then he definitely pulled my son's pants down on purpose, which exposed the top portion of his bottom... if I didn't see it happen, I would have assumed it was accident (either by my son or his friend), but I'm certain that his friend saw the opportunity and took it. Luckily I was within steps, so quickly covered my son back up and told his friend directly not to do that, you do not pull down other people's clothes, etc., but it appeared my son didn't know he had a wardrobe malfunction and/or why I was saying this to his friend... I didn't want to embarrass him, so I backed off. Of course, I didn't take my eyes off them the remainder of our time there.
The boy's mom was in another area with her daughter, so definitely couldn't have seen what happened, and I didn't regroup with her until a few solid minutes later. By then, our boys were totally fine and nothing else happened that seemed inappropriate... for whatever reason, it didn't feel right in the moment to say anything to the mom, but I really wish I did. However, a little later she and I were chatting outside a bounce house/slide (castle?) that our boys were in... I could see they were in big-physical play mode and were kinda grabbing at each other and at whatever was there, including clothes (albeit, probably for balance more than anything else)... but, I used this as an opportunity to casually say "boys, do not pull at each other's clothes, okay?" which seemed to get their attention, but didn't stop them from playing together without pantsing each other.
After saying our goodbyes and driving home, I went into the full "it's never okay for someone to pull your pants down" spiel, but then he asked "who did that?" Hopefully the point was made even if he didn't realize it happened to him.
I do regret not saying something to the mom right after it happened, but now I'm unsure if I should follow up over text or say something the next time we see each other (probably next weekend or the following). The boys go to different schools and only see other during scheduled play dates, so I'm not worried about a repeat when I'm not around. I've also never seen ANYTHING like this from the friend, but I don't know how much or little to read into what happened.
Thoughts? Suggestions?

I'm a 22 year old woman and I'm starting to wonder if something was done to me as a child and l've just blocked it out. I've had things done to me that many women unfortunately also experience like being groped in a crowded room or being pantsed by other little boys but it feels like something worse happened to me. I didn't ever even consider it until around 2 years ago when i went into a deep, year and a half long depression that led to two suicide attempts a year apart. For about six months, every night i would have nightmares of being raped by my father. While I don't think my dad could've ever done this to me, i carried so much guilt for it 24/7. 1 haven't had one of those dreams in a while but now every time i smoke weed i start getting a deeply shameful feeling of having been assaulted. Not to mention, l've looked at the symptoms and signs of a child being SA'd and I match almost all of them from childhood to adulthood behavior. For example:

• I have gaps in my memory. There are some things I remember vividly but everything else that i remember is like a blurry dream or just a general idea of something having happened. On top of that, I can't tell you when something happened it's like any childhood memories i do have were just jumbled together with a very, very (and I mean VERY) vague timeline. Around the ages of 11-12 is where I can start remembering everything clearly. This also happens to be about the time I lost all signs of personality, it's like i just retreated into myself.
  
• haven't had a close friend since around the age of 8, I feel incapable of developing close relationships with others to the point that my own family doesn't even know anything about me.
  
• I've always been scared of the dark but it's somehow gotten even worse the older I am. Every night i have to completely cover myself in my blankets and listen to ASMR with noise canceling earbuds so I won't hear if anything moves around me. Often times I can't sleep until the sun comes up at 6-7am.
  
• Depression, anxiety and depersonalization has been a big part of my life. Many days I don't even feel like a real person and more like a simulation.
  
• I began engaging in sexual behaviors at around the age of 5 and acted hyper sexually up until i was around 11. This included everything from masterbation to making my barbies do things with each other.
  
• Regardless of the hyper sexuality, I didn't lose my virginity until i was 21 when I decided i just wanted to get it over with and met up with a random guy from tinder. Immediately after he came, i threw up and started crying then spent the following week with intense shame and guilt, barely able to get out of bed. I've had a sense of shame and guilt my entire life, like I'm doing something wrong and everyone knows, but it was so much worse during that week.
  
• Despite my deep self hatred, i have no sense of self, leading me to constantly lie about everything so others don't know how little substance there is to me.
  
• I'm also extremely helpless, being 22 still living at home and just finishing my first year of community college.
  
• I can't see anything ever changing or anything good ever happening to me and if it did I wouldn't deserve it.
  
• Since i can remember, l've always had horrible body image issues. I feel the need to take up as little space as possible and I always have to look good for others. It's become so obsessive that the only thing on my mind at any given time is how I'm being perceived by others.
  
• I'm extremely self-destructive and ruin everything good for myself before it can even happen.
  
• One of the more embarrassing symptoms, I occasionally catch myself unintentionally age regressing (ex: speaking in a younger voice; becoming playful; very needy; oral fixation).
  
• I have a fixation on older men but i get grossed out when they actually approach me. In general, I'm untrusting and scared of men.
  
• For as long as i can remember, I've expected myself to die young so i never planned anything for my future.
  
• I'm extremely uncomfortable with physical affection but crave it deeply.
  
• My ex step-mom and dad always considered me the problem child between my ex step-sister and I.
  

With that said, I don't remember anything bad happening and I don't even know who would have done it. The only physical indication I can think of was around 4-5, my mom put me in the bath and i had such intense, stabbing vaginal pain that i cried. If anyone has any thoughts on this please let me know. All I want is to heal from whatever made me the way that I am. If you made it to the end thanks for reading my ramble 😇🫶!
Edit: It's worth mentioning, my mom was a stripper and had custody of me until I was 7. So, there were times I was left with people she barely knew. She also had an occasional new short term boyfriend that would get brought around.

I'm a 22 year old woman and I'm starting to wonder if something was done to me as a child and I've just blocked it out. I've had things done to me that many women unfortunately also experience like being groped in a crowded room or being pantsed by other little boys but it feels like something worse happened to me. I didn't ever even consider it until around 2 years ago when i went into a deep, year and a half long depression that led to two suicide attempts a year apart. For about six months, every night i would have nightmares of being raped by my father. While I don't think my dad could've ever done this to me, i carried so much guilt for it 24/7. I haven't had one of those dreams in a while but now every time i smoke weed i start getting a deeply shameful feeling of having been assaulted. Not to mention, I've looked at the symptoms and signs of a child being SA'd and I match almost all of them from childhood to adulthood behavior. For example:

• I have gaps in my memory. There are some things I remember vividly but everything else that i remember is like a blurry dream or just a general idea of something having happened. On top of that, I can't tell you when something happened it's like any childhood memories i do have were just jumbled together with a very, very (and I mean VERY) vague timeline. Around the ages of 11-12 is where I can start remembering everything clearly. This also happens to be about the time I lost all signs of personality, it's like i just retreated into myself.
  
• I haven't had a close friend since around the age of 8, I feel incapable of developing close relationships with others to the point that my own family doesn't even know anything about me.
  
• I've always been scared of the dark but it's somehow gotten even worse the older I am. Every night i have to completely cover myself in my blankets and listen to ASMR with noise canceling earbuds so I won't hear if anything moves around me. Often times I can't sleep until the sun comes up at 6-7am.
  
• Depression, anxiety and depersonalization has been a big part of my life. Many days I don't even feel like a real person and more like a simulation.
  
• I began engaging in sexual behaviors at around the age of 5 and acted hyper sexually up until i was around 11. This included everything from masterbation to making my barbies do things with each other.
  
• Regardless of the hyper sexuality, I didn't lose my virginity until i was 21 when I decided i just wanted to get it over with and met up with a random guy from tinder. Immediately after he came, i threw up and started crying then spent the following week with intense shame and guilt, barely able to get out of bed. I've had a sense of shame and guilt my entire life, like I'm doing something wrong and everyone knows, but it was so much worse during that week.
  
• Despite my deep self hatred, i have no sense of self, leading me to constantly lie about everything so others don't know how little substance there is to me.
  
• I'm also extremely helpless, being 22 still living at home and just finishing my first year of community college.
  
• I can't see anything ever changing or anything good ever happening to me and if it did I wouldn't deserve it.
  
• Since i can remember, I've always had horrible body image issues. I feel the need to take up as little space as possible and I always have to look good for others. It's become so obsessive that the only thing on my mind at any given time is how I'm being perceived by others.
  
• I'm extremely self-destructive and ruin everything good for myself before it can even happen.
  
• One of the more embarrassing symptoms, I occasionally catch myself unintentionally age regressing (ex: speaking in a younger voice; becoming playful; very needy; oral fixation).
  
• I have a fixation on older men but i get grossed out when they actually approach me. In general, I'm untrusting and scared of men.
  
• For as long as i can remember, I've expected myself to die young so i never planned anything for my future.
  
• I'm extremely uncomfortable with physical affection but crave it deeply.
  
• My ex step-mom and dad always considered me the problem child between my ex step-sister and I.
  

With that said, I don't remember anything bad happening and I don't even know who would have done it. The only physical indication I can think of was around 4-5, my mom put me in the bath and i had such intense, stabbing vaginal pain that i cried. If anyone has any thoughts on this please let me know. All I want is to heal from whatever made me the way that I am. If you made it to the end thanks for reading my ramble 😇🫶!
Edit: It's worth mentioning, my mom was a stripper and had custody of me until I was 7. So, there were times I was left with people she barely knew. She also had an occasional new short term boyfriend that would get brought around.

My son is twelve and in the sixth grade. I got a call from his school on Thursday afternoon. My wife and I arrived and we were told he was going to be suspended from school for FIVE DAYS. He had pantsed a fellow student, a girl in his year. He pulled her underwear also. He received a citation for bullying as well as SEXUAL HARASSMENT. We were appalled. We found our son in tears, apologetic, deeply embarrassed. He swears that the underwear was on accident.
The principal and counselor were present. Out of his earshot, they explained to us that it isn’t uncommon for boys of his age to develop curiosity about girls. They were firm but fair. They informed us the girl’s parents had been notified, and that they are very upset. We don’t know much more than that.
When we asked him for his side, he kept saying it was a joke and the girl and he are friends. He said he walked behind her at lunch and pantsed her. Not only did he humiliate this girl, he did it in front of who knows how many students. My wife was furious and started shouting at him right there in the office. He cried harder. I have never seen her so upset with any of our children (we have 4). I myself was very angry too.
We immediately grounded our son for the present time without knowing for how long. He is banned from all screens and gets no dessert. We have also demanded he write an apology letter to the girl which has been completed. He has spent the last several days essentially in his room. We have added extra chores to his usual responsibilities. Yesterday we had him doing yard work with me which he hates.
My wife and I are not completely in agreement how we want to go about this beyond that. She wants to throw the book at him. She wants him grounded until the end of the school year, which is around 2.5 months. No TV, phone, video games, computers, etc unless strictly needed for school. No leaving the house except to go out with us or to school. No sweets. She wants to make him watch videos about sexual harassment and write an essay on it (I am fine with this). She also wants to ban him from baseball this season which just started a few weeks ago.
I do think he deserves thorough punishment but I don’t know that he deserves to be punished for months. I don’t want to make him quit his baseball team. I think two weeks of grounding with the essay and letter on top of suspension is fair for what happened. My wife had an abusive past so I understand her anger, but I believe our son when he says the yannking of the underwear was an accient. I don’t want to crush his spirit over a misguided prank.
I’m concerned I am being too flippant over this and my wife is being too harsh. She told me she is disgusted by what he did and can’t even look at him the same way. He has cried and apologized everyday since this happened. I’m sure the little girl must be having a worse time. This entire situation is terrible.
Because we cannot agree on his punishment going forward, our son is currently in limbo. He knows he is grounded but not for how long. He has missed his baseball game and will likely miss practice tomorrow. He won’t return to school until the end of the week, but he is dreading going back and facing what he did.
How can my wife and I best handle this situation? What is the best punishment that will prevent this happening again? My wife seems truly worried he will grow up to be a pervert. I’m not so worried about that, but I want to make sure he understands the gravity of his behavior to not repeat it. We have never had any trouble with his siblings. He himself usually is a good kid who doesn’t normally get into trouble. Please help.

Buffy's Second Slayer Mouths Off
Eliza Dushku was here live. See what TV's Faith had to say about mooning for Angel, raping the Buffy boys and getting a good look at Leo's scab. Plus, a spoiler or two and details from the cast wrap party.
Tune in every Monday at 6 p.m. ET to scoop up the TV dish--and maybe get your questions answered!
Hey, Faith fans! Eliza's here. Ready...
From faithyeah: Do you like the change in your character, or do you prefer her kicking butt with Buffy? I definitely like the change. It's obviously fun to play the villain. She's like the bad-girl junkie. Everyone's got a bad side in them somewhere, and it's fun to play the bad-girl nemesis.
From Carl: Eliza, did you have a season wrap party for Buffy? Was everyone sad to say goodbye to Charisma and David as they go to the new show Angel? The wrap party was last night, down by the beach. It was so much fun, but also teary at the same time. I mean, I've only been on one season, but it was like saying goodbye to your brothers and sisters. David wasn't there, but the rest of us were dancing and grooving all night. It was such a good time. From style511: Eliza, I think you're a great actress. Will we be seeing you in anything else besides Buffy? Perhaps a movie? Thank you. I'm looking right now. I've got a meeting for a comedy, actually, in an hour and a half. I'm still trying to decide if I'm going to college or going to make movies.
From Buffy'sgirl: Do you do all your own stunts? I wish I could say I did, but I don't. I've gotten a lot better since the beginning of the season. I used to have a stunt double do everything, and then I would just pop in there, but now I come home with bruises and cuts and sore muscles. Ideally, they want us to do the most we can. I love learning the stuff. These days it's more us.
From faitheslayer: Are you happy the season is finally ending? I'm not happy that it's ending. It's a period of my life that I've had so much fun with. I'm 18 years old and still totally undecided as to what I want to do. I'm so jealous of my friends who are in Boston and going to school. I'm happy that it's over, because everybody needs a break at some point. But I'm sad, too.
From buffybear: How do you and Sarah Michelle Gellar mesh offstage? You two are like oil and vinegar onstage. Are you friends? Yeah, we get along pretty well. We both have a tough streak in us. You know, she's from New York. We pal around and joke. We can hold our own with each other. We're just two girls running their mouths. We actually partied one night in New York, at our agent's wedding. From buffychic: Can you tell us what's up with your character in the next few episodes? They don't even tell me when which shows are airing. I know that in the coming episodes I'm not going to make a turn around. I can't say much, but there's going to be a lot more crazy Faith coming up.
From northernlad: Okay, question I HAVE to ask: What's Nick like to kiss? It was bizarre, because he's in his late 20s and I was 17 at the time. He's, like, 10 years older. I felt like I was going after one of my older brother's friends. It was mainly just a riot, with everyone yelling, "Seventeen will get you 20." It was more comical than anything else.
From jmonique: What's been the most interesting part of working on Buffy? One of the most interesting things for me is that I gained a total respect for science fiction. I honestly never watched the show before I was on it. And once you're on, you gain such a respect for the vampires and how they make it so real.
From willowworshipper: Eliza, do you know what "hope" meant in the title "Faith, Hope and Trick"? "Trick" was Mr. Trick, "Faith" was the new slayer--but what was "Hope" supposed to be? I have no idea either. I never asked. I was new on the set, and I didn't ask many questions.
From swoop300: Eliza, the BIG question: Is your tattoo real? I'd like to say that it is, but it's not. I want to get a tribute tattoo on my hip for a family member who passed away. But I want to wait until I'm 21, because that's what I feel is best for me.
From au_h2o: In real life, would you prefer an Oz, a Xander, an Angel or a Giles? All of them, all at once. Actually, I'm not sure. It depends on my mood. I'm super into tall, dark, handsome.
From catgrl9: How did you get picked for the role of Faith? I had previous acting experience in films. I did six movies when I was 10 to 15. A month after I graduated I put two scenes on tape, and three days later they gave me the part.
From faitheslayer: Any chance you'll be on Angel? Possibly. It hasn't really been discussed, since the Angel show is still in the works. Joss Whedon is just the most creative writer I've ever seen. If he wants to write me in something, I'd do it.
From buffy_summers_: Which role was the most fun you've ever had? It's a toss-up between Buffy and True Lies. I'm an adrenaline junkie--I love taking risks. It's kind of a tie between those.
From dialup: What's your favorite Faith moment? My favorite Faith moment was in "Enemies," when she got jacked by Angel. She was riding high, and then she got dogged. She's so cocky. I love her 'cause I play her, but she's so cocky. She got played. She got beat in her own game.
From skats: Do you date? What do you look for in a man? I'm in between dating right now. I had a boyfriend back in Boston, but this show is tough. How do you date when you get out of work at 3 a.m.? I'm kind of flying solo right now.
From cordeliachase: Who do you hang with the most on the set? Um, the transportation guys. I'm kind of a roamer. I'm usually just out and about. David's cool. We share a trailer, and he's supersocial and friendly.
From genxhostal: I'm sorry, but I have to ask: Who's the better kisser, Nicholas Brendon or David Boreanaz? Well, it's a toss-up. When I had to kiss David, he had these vampire teeth. With both of them being 10 times older than me, and me having to rape Nick and David with those teeth...I'd have to say it's a toss-up.
From tfanman: How long does it take to tape one show? Eight days. Sometimes more if we don't finish up, but never weekends. We always have weekends off.
From pkard: Do you have something in common with Faith? A lot, but not a lot. One of the differences is, I have morals. I would never hurt somebody. In common, we both have that adrenaline feeling and that attitude thing. Wising off to cops, teachers, just doing your own thing. It's a tough attitude/East Coast thing.
From Wanda: What's up with calling Buffy "B"? It was a writer's request. I had no choice. I think it's trying to undermine her a little. It's Faith's own little edgy way of sticking it to her.
From ladyangelus: Is David Boreanaz fun to work with? David's a blast to work with. He's so funny--a real riot. He makes everything very carefree when he's around.
From minaelizabetha: Did Faith and Angel have sex? No. I doubt they did. It was a trick, so I don't think he would've taken it that far. His heart belongs to Buffy.
From loco: Tell us about the gag reel at the wrap party. At random times, someone messes up a scene. There were a lot of beating people up in a joking way. David was running at the camera or cracking up. He would breathe heavy a little too much. In the "Bad Girls" episode, my foot got stuck when we were smashing the glass, and Sarah tried to help me. It was a total screwup caught on camera.
From prophecygirl: Eliza, any hints on who Xander ends up with at the end of the season? Hmmm...I'm not sure. Lately I haven't been following the rest of the show. Things are a mystery to even the cast. When they were trying to get the season finale done, a lot of things were still up in the air. I'm not even sure what the final decision was.
From crs123: It seems like such a funny cast--do you play practical jokes? Um, not really, but it's such a light feeling on the set. No one is insecure, so anyone can harp on anyone. There's just a lot of fun and taunting going around--all in good humor.
From sunny: Will Cordy really be turned into a vamp? I don't know. You got me.
From womanwarrior: Was being a swell dancer a casting requirement? No, it wasn't a requirement. I just love to dance--those scenes were so much fun.
From ariellemarsters: Have you met James Marsters? What's he like? Isn't he hot?! Yeah, I met him. He may be an awful villain, but he's a sweetheart. He's just a nice guy. He's not really English, which threw me off.
From malkavian: Did anything embarrassing happen while you were around the set? I know Alyson and Sarah pantsed Nick one time. David's been known to moon people. Actually, so is Nick, and I have, too. There's a lot of mooning on the set, in general.
From jcbuffyfan: How do you like Faith's revealing wardrobe? In real life, I've been known to throw on some tight black leather--but not on a daily basis. It's tacky and fun. It's better than wearing frills and flowers. It's exciting and dangerous.
From prophecygirl: In your opinion, who's the better slayer? Buffy's better. Come on, the show is Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Faith's less about slaying these days and more about tearing it up in other ways. We have different motives.
From ilovebuffy: How did you feel when you saw the script and it said that Faith and Xander have sex? I laughed. I thought it was hysterical. Me and Nikki hadn't worked together much, but I knew he was a funny guy. I didn't actually anticipate that all the fans would come down on me so much in the mail. They were all mad at me for taking his virginity and that he didn't do it with Willow for the first time.
From kegman: What of the rumors about Sarah not liking Ally? That's all bull. They work together and get along great. They're like sisters. I mean, they occasionally bicker, but they get along great.
From paxman214: Who's the most serious person on the Buffy set? Probably Gareth Davies, one of our producers. He's usually the drill sergeant, and he'll come down and tell people to get their ass in gear.

https://lilybunny.tripod.com/magazines/transcripts/transeliza.html

When I was in the eighth grade, a couple of my old friends decided it would be hilarious to prank me by pantsing me between one of our classes. Normally, it wouldn’t have been a big deal and would have just been one of those stupid memories we would look back at in the future, but one of my friends decided to record it while the other violated my privacy. The worst part about this prank was the fact I was wearing scooby-doo underwear, making this prank 20 times more embarrassing. The week one of my friends posted the prank, the video went viral at our school on Instagram and tiktok. I was someone who took a lot of pride in my social media presence so I did not know how to handle the shame and troll comments at the time. I felt that my best course of action was to go invisible on social media. I deleted every social media app I had to prevent that memory from repeating for me. It was a struggle at first because I noticed I had a lot more spare time so I was very bored at first and craved to use social media. As time went on, I started to think less of social media and began improving my time management, using my free time to focus on my grades and my personal goals. I was able to go from a C average student to an all A student. Flash forward to my senior year, I was now at the top of my class and was given a full ride to UPENN to pursue law. Looking back now, I realize this experience, although traumatic, helped me realize at a young age that social media use can be very detrimental to one’s mental health. I am now very thankful for that experience as it helped to shape my life for the better

Just curious if you have found yourself or witnessed someone else become unexpectedly nude in public. What was the situation and how did you react?
I heard a male passenger on that Alaska Airlines flight that had a part of the fuselage detach mid flight had his shirt ripped off and othet passengers lost their shoes.... In this situation I would not be embarrassed at all. Its just a shirt and I'd be thankful I was still inside the airplane
Back when i was in highschool on the track team, I was pantsed. I was just minding my business when suddenly i felt cold air on my ass and I look down a see my dick out. I remember being so embarrassed but tured on at the same time. Especially when i saw multiple other guys get pantsed after me.
Team exhib 2.0 is a twitter account that has loads of videos of guys who are nude in public. Watching the pantsing compilations has me turned on and feeling a load of 2nd hand embarrassment lol.

Okay, so watching episode 5, around 23 minutes, Asher and Whitney are talking outside a residence house with the camera looking inside a house through a window, with a resident inside.
I saw a spoiler where there was a poster for promotion with this scene, but the window is stretched to be a lot longer. And, someone who saw the ending already said something like “this won’t make sense to people until the finale”. So, I gave it a close look. (ADDING: Dougie is also in this frame, behind Whitney, but as if he is in the conversation with Asher and Whit. - could this mean that him, Asher, and Whit are all in on this behind the scenes show, but don’t tell the network or other participants in the show?)
The one thing I noticed, which is strange, is there is a ringing bell (cow bell?) that goes off twice in the scene for no reason and it isn’t clear where it comes from. No one reacts to it.
In this scene, Asher and whit are taking about if Cara was making fun of her when doing a tour of the passive home on camera, then selling to college student and the Republican.
Then, Whit says that they can pick anyone for the show as a fake buyer and it’s an opportunity to have them pick anyone be a buyer and have them embody values of community - like an avatar. Can they be in an avatar type setting? Are people avatars as “residents” in this fake reality/world?
She says she knows she can find the person. She can see it… then they go get the couple. Could this maybe mean that they then changed the show somehow that we didn’t notice? Making it not a reality show anymore?
Also, in episode 4, around 42 minutes, Dougie and Asher are talking about show ideas in the hotel room. Dougie says the show just almost got picked up, because there was no conflict. He then says, “Just bc whit has a moral issue with what’s happening, we have to toss it away?” Asher seemed a little surprised that it was just barely picked up. Dougie then uses examples of what he wishes the show could be - the footage following the reporter, the girl putting the curse on Asher, and the yogurt argument. Where and when was the yogurt argument? I don’t remember it or who was actually physically present for the argument.
Dougie asks Asher what they can do about it; Asher says “only advice is to get used to it, bc shes not gonna change”. Dougie obviously is getting her to change since then, but is Asher in on it?
Dougie also mentions to Asher that he was cursed. He doesn’t want to talk about it, says no one in particular he can point to, but he says the incident with his wife (Melanie) in the car accident had to be from a curse. He says “and then… I don’t want to talk about this anymore, alright”. Did dougie get the same girl that cursed him to curse Asher?
Dougie also apologizes dot bullying Asher, including pantsing him at the swim meet. So, he knows about Asher’s small penis. That may somehow play into embarrassing him and the reason it keeps being brought up, if it is a show within a show - which it seems to be.
We also know that Asher tapes most of his conversations. And, we know that Dougie has had access to Asher’s phone. Could he have heard anything, like the conversation with the reporter or the conversation during the meeting at the casino?

Pop over to woolwich1886.com for this and other almost-daily folderol. Cheers!
There are some weekends you cherish and store away as fond memories. They become part of the salad days, those halcyon moments when all was right with the world and then some. That first kiss. A promotion. The loss of one’s…um…innocence. This weekend was none of those things. This weekend was the rough equivalent of shaving one’s nether-regions with a cheese grater and then using lemon juice as aftershave. Enough. Let’s get this over with, shall we?
Liverpool (11W 4D 1L: 37 pts.) LIverpool went into Selhurst Park and bravely and courageuously if narrowly saw off a side that is still reeling from the sale of club talisman Wilfried Zaha. Add in the fact that Jordan Ayew somehow, against all odds and contrary to every assumption about his sterling character on and off the pitch, got himself sent off for the most innocuous of challenges (I’m not being sarcastic here). That Salah scored his 200th goal for Liverpool just a minute later, paving the way for LIverpool to snatch all three points, has to feel at least a little like highway robbery. I’m sure that Salah will attach a mental asterisk to the milestone. Referees rarely if ever make such injudicious decisions, after all.
Arsenal (11W 3D 2L: 36 pts.) Well, there’s no other conclusion to be drawn. We’re to be liquidated. That’s the only sensible conclusion despite our outplaying our hosts (and their previous visitors) by the proverbial country mile. Yes, Villa played just well enough to earn that fifteenth consecutive home win, but did they play well enough to prove that they’re title-contenders? Not so much. For ourselves, we seemed to buy into the idea that Villa are in fact serious challengers to the throne. We misplaced passes and fluffed chances. On any other day, we’d snatch those chances and waltz away winners. As it stands, Villa have entered the chat, as it were. We missed our chance at shutting that chatter down, and we’ll now have to vie with VIlla. Maybe they’ll take points off of Liverpool or City…
Aston Villa (11W 2D 3L: 35 pts.) “Aston Villa?” Where have I heard that name before? Ah, yes. The previous paragraph. While it’s true that Emery’s minions have seen off Man City and the Arsenal in quick succesion, the devil is, as always, in the details. Man City are suffering quite a bit of existential angst (having just barely escaped Kenilworth Road with a victory (what club with aspirations of winning the Prem does that?), and they were indeed fortunate to escape a late equaliser at the hands (cough) of or our Kai Havertz. While it’s clear that Emery has this side in a fine, fighting spirit, the season is still young and short on experience. Something tells me that this latest purple patch and the attendant gossip will heap pressure on a side that’s a bit short on managing expectations.
Man City (10 W 3D 3L: 33pts.) You’d have to dig deep to find evidence of a Guardiola-managed this side this deep in the throes of depression. That they escaped Kenilworth Road so narrowly so close to having dropped points in their four previous matches (just three points taken from 12 available) suggests that the bloom is off the rose. It’s not as if Luton Town are some unlucky side that just can’t quite catch a break. Their goals scored, goals conceded, and goal difference all place them squarely where they are: 17th in the Prem. The bigger question then is, why couldn’t Man City see them off more confidently? Something is rotten in the state of Etihad Campus (yes, apparently, they have a training ground that develops youth. Who knew?).
Now, we’re into the dregs. Tottenham climbed to fifth courtesy of their 4-1 drubbing of once-relevant Newcastle. How do you know when you’re no longer relevant? It’s when Richarlison bags a brace against you…and is subbed off late on to preserve him for future matches. That’s the kiss of death right there. Not to be outdone in the embarrassment department, Man U saw Newcastle’s de-pantsing and went one further, losing 0-3 at home to Bournemouth, who (checks notes) had never before won at Old Trafford. We’re at a point at which we almost want Man U to win a match if only to preserve the chaotic tenure that is the Ten Hag era.
The fact that I feel like I don’t even have to address Newcastle or Chelsea is quite the condemnation; it’s not as if I’m a lazy, lazy man (although I am). The plain truth is that neither club is worth the effort to type letters I’m currently typing at the moment.
We’ll have to see just how much the Earth shifts beneath our feet next weekend. For now, it’s still shaping up to be a three-club race between Man City, Liverpool, and the Arsenal (perhaps in that order). ‘Til next time…

Once you've pantsed/wedgied minus the pain of the latter once it's been done the first time does it lose all humiliation or embarrassing the second time round or does it stay as bad, random question but I was thinking about it the other day while watching a show

This happened to my mom, not me (which is almost worse).
When my mom was in her 40s, we were taking the bus. A younger guy got on, maybe early 20s? He was sagging his pants real low, nearly under his butt, so you basically see his t shirt, then a lot of boxer, then the pants belted on.
My mom hated that and decided she had the right to try and embarrass him. She yanked on his jeans and pantsed him, causing them to pool at his ankles.
He reacted way more calmly than I would have if that had been done to me. He pulled his pants back up and then yanked on her sweats, causing her pants to fall down.
She was WAY more embarrassed because her underwear was these horrible giant granny panties!
I honestly don’t think she learned anything that day, but props to the guy for such good petty revenge.

I believe it is set in England in a small university town, present day (both characters are students). The JK character bullies the JM character quite a bit, like ridiculing him for being a nerd, for his glasses, etc - nothing really cruel or abusive, though. More like the grown-up jerk version of little boys pulling little girls’ pigtails in the playground, or pantsing someone in middle school and embarrassing them in front of everyone.
At one point there is a themed dance night at one of the local bars with JM’s favourite music - 50s-60s oldies, maybe swing music, something classic. JK shows up, they end up dancing kinda hazy, then there are harsh words and JM storms away from the bar, his evening ruined.
[Spoiler part (sorry i don’t know how to do the proper spoiler treatment to the text in the app!!): JK realised that he’s been an idiot and all his teasing made JM think that he was hated when really JK is actually in love and obsessed with JM, and thought that JM knew the teasing was just meant to be goofing around. And then I think he writes a letter to JM because he isn’t good with expressing his feelings out loud. He explains how ardent and sincere his love is, but accidentally includes a page from something else he wrote that did not intend to share (a draft of a second letter detailing all the smutty filthy thoughts in his head, including and not limited to his unadulterated love).]
I don’t think it’s a chaptered fic, but if it is then probably only 2 or 3 chapters.
Thanks in advance ☺️

Alternate title would be: "A legacy of mostly pain"
Many fans today laugh at the common fools of the NFL: the Jets, the Browns, the Lions, the Vikings, the Falcons, the Panthers and until recently the Bengals and Bills. The denominator with most of these franchise (except perhaps the Cowboys) is that a SB has never touched many of these franchises. A common hope is that despite years of idiocy, a SB win will wash away the taint of failure for these many harbingers of pain. Not long ago another team infamous for screwing up finally felt vindication and overcame their story of ineptitude. That team was the New Orleans Saints. For newer fans, NO has a been a consistently decent to above average football franchise for the last 15+ years. For older sports fans though the Saints were textbook example of pro footballs ultimate joke franchise. Let's roll that beautiful footage...
1960s: You get a franchise in New Orleans in exchange for allowing the AFL-NFL merger to happen, that’s some good politicking boy. Until the superdome is finished you play at Tulane's field. You are awful but that’s growing pains, certainly things will get better in the 70s…
*Insert the Benny Hill theme*
1970: you get thrown into a meh NFC West division but are still ass. Oh well you’ll get the 2nd overall pick in the 1971 draft.
1971: You pick good ole local quarterback Archie Manning out of Ole Miss to basically be the star attraction/punching bag of the organization. He’s the best QB you’ve had to this point, but the team is still garbage.
1972-74: You’re complete **** all 3 years, if I recapped every year individually, I would probably run out of ways to describe your ineptitude.
1975: Your home stadium is finally done; hooray the Superdome becomes your destination for failure for the next oh *checks watch*…Dammit this is going to take a while….
75-76: moving to the Superdome still only means you are super ****. Hey, you finally hire a proved winning coach in Hank Stram, baby steps people.
1977: Manning is hurt so you must use two QBs named Bobby. Yeah, we all know where this is headed. Yep, you cap off an wonderful season of bleh by getting reamed by the creamsicle expansion Tampa Bay Buccs to give them their first win ever. Hank Stram is then jettisoned into Lake Pontchartrain or the maelstrom of the nearest galaxy, we don’t know, and we don’t care.
78-79: You are actually average for once and go 7-9 and 8-8. You still blow big leads but still almost touched forbidden ground in making the playoffs in 79. The NFL is so sure you'll fail to make the playoffs, they don't even let you go ahead and put up postseason tickets to sell. Oh and you DONT make the playoffs, but still things are looking up…
*insert the were ****ing **** soccer clip*
1980: Things just bellyflopped out a window, as you are revolting in your 1-15 ****ness. Fans are openly mocking you calling you the Aints and wearing paper bags on their heads. The highlight of the season is a fan giving the camera the bird and fans wearing modified paper bags complete will novelty glasses on the MNF game against the Rams. Congratulations this squad is officially one of the ten worst teams of all time. You may have joined the ranks of the 76 Bucs, the 08 Lions and 17 Browns as the worst teams of all time if you somehow didn’t beat the Jets by ONE ****ing POINT!!!
1981-83: You hire another winner of a coach in Bum Phillips whose Hank Stram without the Super Bowl win. Bum's first genius move is passing on Lawrence Taylor in the 81 Draft. You are still the football equivalent of watching your grandfather drop dead while taking a piss, willy still firmly in hand. Oh, and you finally release Archie Manning from his decade plus torture session, and Saints fans wonder why Peyton and Eli never considered playing for their dads team.
1984: Bum and his old buddy Earl Campbell create a historical moment for the franchise, you finally win your first MNF game ever. Oh, and the team maybe sold and moved to Jacksonville but at the last second the Benson clan buys you and keeps you in the Big Easy. Hooray, your team still sucks and the po-boys sold inside the dome and the prostitutes hanging outside are more popular than you are.
85-86: Still crap and Bum Phillips walks away, even though in hindsight the Bum should have got sent to the Phantom Zone the moment he said he would not draft LT. Bring on Jim Nora who ends up being the longest lasting coach you have until the 2000s. Being in the meh NFC West has finally come back to bite you as you are stuck in the same division as the 80s Montana 49ers, who beat you almost every time.
1987: You have your first legit good season thanks to the Dome Patrol defense and finally reach the playoffs, sure you get curb stomped by the Vikings in the wild card round but hey for once you are not a joke.
88-89: You are still decent but just miss the playoffs. Oh well…
1990: same story as 87 only it’s the Bears that kill you this time…
1991: You finally accomplish another milestone; you win your division and get to host your first home playoff game. Hallelujah the promised land is here…. oh, never mind, you get bounced by your eternal foe the Atlanta Falcons in the wild card round…
1992: same story as 90 only it’s the Eagles that kill you this time….starting to notice a pattern here.
93-96: You go from mediocre to awful again and Jim Mora is finally shown the door. PLAYOFFS?!? Indeed.
1997-98: Jeez’em crow, you drag cigar chomping accomplished golfing nut Mike Ditka out of mothballs to be your coach. You still are an embarrassing franchise but maybe Ditka’s master plan will come to fruition.
*insert recording of House Music*
1999: Ditka’s insane plan is revealed: give up everything in your draft class and next years 1st pick for Ricky Williams. Even more stunning is four teams said no until Washington agrees to the lopsided bargain. Ditka and Williams dress as a bride and groom for publicity leaving most fans to conclude that the only reason Ditka threw away his draft class was that he secretly wanted to bone Williams. Superbowl or bust huh Mike? You're also the first team to lose to the Drew Carey revived Browns on a Hail Mary pass of all things. Seriously two QBs names Billy Joe? You go 3-13 and get fired, but credit to you Ditka you'll go to your grave even now saying you’d still trade everything for Williams. Next time you want to pick up a black man that badly, go to a bar or get on tinder instead please. Ditka would never coach again, but he'll live off 85 and Bill Swerski's Superfan for the rest of his days. Of course the best coach in Bears history is the worst coach in Saints history.
2000: You go 10-6 and win your division. Not bad, who are you facing? The defending champions Greatest show on Turf Rams…yeah you guys are ****ed. IMPOSSIBLE?!? You actually pulled the upset and beat them for your first playoff win? I don’t believe it, hallowed ground, the divisional round WE MADE It BOYS…and the Vikings kill us again in the divisional round. *Sigh*
*Insert dial tone sound*
2001: Meh again and Ricky Williams clearly hates it here and would rather smoke weed than play for you so shunt him off to Miami and draft Deuce McAllister who ends up being your best running back ever as of now.
2002-04: Putrid, untrustworthy and always looking to blow a game. Thankfully in 02, you get exiled to the new NFC South division. Remember the 03 River City Relay against the Jags, where you pull a bunch of laterals and score and the end of regulation only to miss the tying extra point to get eliminated from a playoff spot? Yep, we still have the receipts toad. The only notable thing to happen in the 04 season is South Park predicting you will win the Super Bowl in the Awesome-o episode.
2005: You are the 2nd worst team but for once its not due to your incompetence. Hurricane Katrina destroys your city in a once in a lifetime style weather event. People are drowning, starving, and dying everywhere from the Mississippi Gulf Coast to the Superdome itself. The team is basically homeless and doesn’t play home games at all except for preseason games. Jim Halsett is fired, and you get the 2nd overall pick.
*Insert the ship horn sound*
2006: You hire Sean Payton and take a chance on a banged-up Drew Brees. You draft Reggie Bush and look to at least rebuild from last year. If the team flops, it’s probably the end as San Antonio wants a team. Surprising the whole football world, you go 10-6 and get the number two seed. You finally win a divisional round game against an Andy Reid Eagles team thanks to Deuce McAllister basically winning the game by himself. You have finally reached the NFC championship capping off a good year. Sure the Bears crush you but this is the best season you ever had. Hooray
07-08: You go right back to mediocre again, 7-9 and 8-8 respectfully.
*Insert the ending theme from Super Mario Land 2*
2009: You keep winning, including coming back by over 2-3 touchdowns at Miami and Washington, to go 13-0. You even crush Tom Brady and the Patriots on MNF, you get the Number one seed for the first time ever. You beat Kurt Warner and the Cardinals easily in the divisional round and then play the Brett Favre Vikings in an epic NFC Championship game. Despite being outplayed by the Vikings, they have 5 turnovers, and you don’t. You drive down and kick a FG in OT to finally reach the Super Bowl, something the entire nation once considered impossible. The Vikings swear eternal revenge for their failure, and still scream about you making it to the big dance to this day.
SB44: You are big underdogs against the Peyton Manning Colts and play catch up all first half. You then go “**** it, roll the dice” and pull an onside kick to start the second half and it WORKS. The Colts never regain the momentum and Tracy Porters pick 6 sends you to immortality, nirvana, and history. Congratulations, you may never win the SB again, but you proved to the entire NFL that you were the best team this season.
*Insert long montage of sad music, maybe the theme from Platoon*
2010: Hangover year for you as those Falcons finally pick up steam with that Matt Ryan character. You, in an ironic way, go out in the Wild Card to a lesser team in Seattle much in the same way you beat the Rams in 2000. Might still be a bit on the snakebit side.
2011: You are really good again, but you get your hearts ripped out in the Divisional Round against the 49ers at the last second. If its any consolation, the Devil came for the 49er’s soul the next game where they get muff happy and lose to the Eli Manning Giants.
2012: The Vikings screeching finally leads to penalties for Bountygate. Sean Payton is suspended for a year, and Greg Williams is gone. You miss the playoffs, but Goodell still never forgives you and is determined to screw you for the rest of his tenure. No matter what happens, you are now considered the modern equivalent of the Oakland Raiders/ Houston Oilers.
2013: You rebound and pull another first: winning a road playoff game against the Eagles. You even put up a valiant fight against the peak Legion of Boom Seahawks before falling in battle.
2014-2016: 7-9 3 years in a row, we need something to happen. The only solace you get is watching your rivals the Panthers get embarrassed in SB 50 and seeing your hated enemy the Falcons go into their current death spiral in the 28-3 disaster at SB 51.
2017: You start 0-2 but come back and get into the playoffs. You get dominated all game by the Vikings only to get ahead with a minute left only to see Stefon Diggs and Vikings sell their souls to Satan to win at the end with the Minneapolis Miracle. There's no way you could have blown...oh I forgot you're the Saints. Ah the only time I ever punched a hole in my wall I’ll never forget it. Hey that new kid Alvin Kamara showed some promise. Least you got to see the devil collect the debt as the Vikings get pantsed and destroyed by the Eagles the following week.
2018: Your best year since 2009, and you get the number one seed again. Michael Thomas is unstoppable. A repeat is in order right? Wrong, as you face the LA Rams and their new favorite buddy Roger Goodell who was reportedly set on having the Rams and Chiefs in the Super Bowl this year. You have the game won but the refs “miss” a clear PI call that kills your momentum and allows the Rams to steal the NFC Championship. As used to your failure as I am, you clearly got screwed on this one. Even though the OT rules allow Brady to get in the SB and ruins Goodells dream matchup, the whole nation except for the haters are outraged at the blatant no-call. For two weeks, the NFL is bombarded for their favoritism which casts a dark shadow on the SB. Goodell is rewarded with the worst SB in 20 years as the Rams get humiliated by the Pats in the most boring and lowest viewed SB in decades. The no call casts a permanent shadow on the entire season and forever turns the city of NO against the league. The city instead blacks out the super bowl and plays SB44 in their area in protest. Ref Bill Vinovich is privately told by the league he and his crew will never officiate a game in NO again as their safety can not be guaranteed. To this day, if Vinovich is ever located in NO or even in the state of Louisiana, there is no telling if he will make it out unharmed.
2019: How did you lose to THAT bull**** Atlanta Falcons team at home? The most fun thing in the stands was two female Falcon fans getting into a drunken brawl in the nosebleed section and getting hauled away. You are still good but get beat by the Vikings and the OT rule in the wild card round…oh NOW the league will consider allowing both teams the ball in OT in the playoffs. The Vikings at least get steamrolled the following week again proving that constantly selling your soul has diminishing returns.
2020: This is really your last chance to win with Drew Brees and you face an old Tom Brady who you already crushed and humiliated twice this season, you got this and it’s on to GB. *insert the bell of the reaper* Age finally catches up to Drew as he falls apart in the divisional round ala Marino in the 2000s and Brady in 2022. Might have won if you benched Drew and put in Jameis Winston, but Sean chose to live and die with Drew. A sad ending to a HoF career.
2021: Drew retires and officially becomes the sovereign of the city of New Orleans, they’ll name the Superdome after him one day. You are still ok and even manage to beat Brady and his Buccs twice again, but you lose 5 in a row and Sean wants out. No playoffs either, also in one last move to kick yourself in the balls, You give up your next 1st round pick for Chris Olive since Michael Thomas is missing games due to injury so you cant even tank next year.
2022: You are officially back to wretched status, thanks to the “stellar” play calling of new coach Dennis Allen and OC Pete Carmichael. You go 7-10 and everybody wants Allen and Pete gone. Oh, and Thomas is out all year again too. The only bright spots are you finally beat the Rams in the dome again and upset the future NFC champion Eagles in Philly.
2023: Sean wants to coach again but for once you got to get something for him. Finally, after their implosion last year, Denver will play ball. You get their first-round pick and a second in 24 for Sean. You also finally go after a Free Agent QB not named Andy Dalton and grab Derek Carr from the Raiders. You are predicted to be in an easy division and have the easiest schedule in football this year if you fail that’s probably it for Allen and company. RIGHT?!? SOOOO..... You go 9-8,when you should have been at least 12-5. You really don't have a great win until you bounce TB in week 17. You don't make the playoffs again, and the fans still want Dennis Allen or Pete Carmichaels or Mickey Loomis head on a pike, and Carr really didn't light the world on fire either with the easiest schedule in the league. So what do you do? Announce that Allen is staying another year. Just what the fanbase as hoping for, another year of disappointment. You send Pete packing only so the fanbase can at least pretend to be heard by the front office. Only small light is at least in 24 you can tank and finally force a restart but we know that wont happen either.

Main hub thread with the full 131 rankings
Syracuse is one of those programs that people don’t think much of anymore, but have a strong foothold in college football history. Hell, in sports history. Just look at the Syracuse alumni in broadcasting: Bob Costas, Mike Tirico, Sean McDonough, Marv Albert, Beth Mowins, Nick Wright, Dave Pasch, Andrew Siciliano…and plenty more. They have some of the most famous NFL alumni in history with players like Jim Brown, John Mackey, Art Monk, Dwight Freeney, Larry Csonka…and a Heisman winner in RB Ernie Davis (1961). While the northeast, or more specifically New York, doesn’t seem to care much about college football, I’d qualify Syracuse as a sleeping giant because of their history and location.

Best Seasons and Highlights

1. 1987: 5. Syracuse: 11-0-1 (39.579) 2. 1992: 7. Syracuse: 10-2 (32.927) 3. 1991: 12. Syracuse: 10-2 (30.271) 4. 1996: 12. Syracuse: 9-3 (26.619) 5. 2001: 13. Syracuse: 10-3 (23.924) 6. 2018: 17. Syracuse: 10-3 (23.885) 7. 1988: 16. Syracuse: 10-2 (23.478) 8. 1998: 17. Syracuse: 8-4 (21.440) 9. 1995: 21. Syracuse: 9-3 (18.604) 10. 1997: 19. Syracuse: 9-4 (17.010) 11. 1990: 28. Syracuse: 7-4-2 (9.738) 12. 1984: 36. Syracuse: 6-5 (6.488) 13. 2012: 43. Syracuse: 8-5 (4.858) 14. 1989: 37. Syracuse: 8-4 (3.957) 15. 1994: 37. Syracuse: 7-4 (2.303) 16. 1993: 34. Syracuse: 6-4-1 (1.808) 17. 2022: 46. Syracuse: 7-6 (1.663) 18. 2010: 46. Syracuse: 8-5 (0.833) 19. 1983: 43. Syracuse: 6-5 (0.319) 20. 2000: 42. Syracuse: 6-5 (-0.811) 21. 1985: 41. Syracuse: 7-5 (-1.960) 22. 1999: 44. Syracuse: 7-5 (-2.428) 23. 2013: 62. Syracuse: 7-6 (-5.477) 24. 2004: 48. Syracuse: 6-6 (-5.986) 25. 2003: 58. Syracuse: 6-6 (-6.727) 26. 1986: 52. Syracuse: 5-6 (-8.389) 27. 2011: 73. Syracuse: 5-7 (-13.004) 28. 2021: 79. Syracuse: 5-7 (-14.783) 29. 2019: 83. Syracuse: 5-7 (-17.802) 30. 2009: 78. Syracuse: 4-8 (-18.454) 31. 2017: 86. Syracuse: 4-8 (-19.130) 32. 2002: 74. Syracuse: 4-8 (-24.031) 33. 2006: 80. Syracuse: 4-8 (-24.616) 34. 2016: 93. Syracuse: 4-8 (-24.858) 35. 2015: 90. Syracuse: 4-8 (-26.104) 36. 2008: 99. Syracuse: 3-9 (-33.048) 37. 2014: 103. Syracuse: 3-9 (-34.004) 38. 2007: 106. Syracuse: 2-10 (-43.972) 39. 2020: 125. Syracuse: 1-10 (-50.386) 40. 2005: 110. Syracuse: 1-10 (-50.991) Overall Score: 23775 (39th) 

• 252-224-4 record
• 5 conference titles
• 13-5-1 bowl record
• 7 consensus All-Americans
• 94 NFL players drafted

There’s lots to talk about with Syracuse, but I’m going to focus on their alumni since there’s so many good ones. Syracuse players from the last 40 years include WR Marvin Harrison, QB Donovan McNabb, DE Chandler Jones, LB Keith Bulluck, and K Gary Anderson. Go back even further and you get NFL Hall of Famers RB Jim Brown, TE John Mackey, FB Larry Csonka, WR Art Monk, owner Al Davis, and more. The consensus All-Americans we won’t discuss below are DL Tim Green (1985) who was the 17th overall pick in his NFL Draft, OL John Flannery (1990), and K Andre Szmyt (2018) who won the Lou Groza Award as a freshman, hitting 30 of 34 field goals. Cuse has only played in a conference since 1991 (32 years), so 5 conference titles is even better than it looks. And let’s talk about bowls for a second, 13-5-1? Claps for you, Syracuse.

Top 5 Seasons

Worst Season: 2005 (1-10 overall, 0-7 Big East)
This is why vacated wins are important. If I didn’t count them, Syracuse would’ve been 0-10 and it would’ve made a big difference in their rating. All jokes aside, congrats Syracuse on beating Buffalo in 2005 to avoid a reverse unbeaten season. 2005 was a year of transition, from 14 year head coach Paul Pasqualoni to new hire Greg Robinson, and from more of an option offense to pro style. QB Perry Patterson struggled, completing just 48% of throws for 1504 yards 6 TD 11 INT with negative rushing yards. To be fair to Cuse, they did play a pretty tough schedule, losing to 4 AP Top 25 teams and West Virginia, who finished the year #5. The offense was bottom 5 in the country with just 13.8 PPG but the defense still managed to only give up 26.8 PPG. Greg Robinson finished his career as the worst coach in school history, going just 10-37 (5-37 if you take away his vacated wins) with a 3-25 Big East record (2-25 without vacated wins). At least he beat Notre Dame in 2008.
5. 2001 (10-3 overall, 6-1 Big East)
2001 Cuse started just 1-2, with losses to top 10 Georgia Tech and Tennessee teams. They returned home on September 22nd after the September 11th attacks, in front of a Carrier Dome crowd of 43,000. Cuse played their butts off, winning 31-14 with a big performance from DE Dwight Freeney against Auburn freshman QB Jason Campbell. They kept winning, setting up a matchup of 6-2 Syracuse at #5 Virginia Tech, where Syracuse got one of their biggest wins of the decades, upsetting the Hokies 22-14. Future New York Giants hero David Tyree blocked a punt, Freeney caused a safety, and Syracuse held Tech to just 152 yards of total offense. They’d finish the regular season 9-3 with a win over #25 Boston College and admittedly embarrassing 0-59 loss to #1 Miami (FL), but beat Kansas State 26-3 in the Insight.com Bowl, taking revenge for their 1997 Fiesta Bowl loss to the Cats. Freeney was a consensus All-American, winning multiple awards and finishing 9th in Heisman voting with 2 first place votes.
4. 1996 (9-3 overall, 6-1 Big East)
Like 2001, it was an 0-2 start, only this time they were #9 preseason to start and fell all the way out of the Top 25. Syracuse was down—Big East teams had their shot at them, and they should’ve taken it, as Cuse would win the next 3 Big East titles. Led by none other than QB Donovan McNabb, Syracuse won 9 straight to clinch at least a share of the Big East title, beating #18 Virginia Tech 52-21, #18 West Virginia 30-7, and #22 Army 42-17 along the way. A loss to #23 Miami (FL) in the final week caused them to miss their shot at an outright title, but they still shared it with Miami and Virginia Tech. The season was capped with a win over Houston in the Liberty Bowl. Cuse only finished #21 in the Top 25, but I had them all the way up at #12 for their quality wins. McNabb was 1st Team All-Big East for the 2nd straight year, throwing for 1776 (eagle noise) yards 19 TD 9 INT to go with 458 rushing yards. The defense gave up just 17.3 PPG with future 1st round LB Keith Bulluck, 3rd Team All-American LB Antwaune Ponds, and All-American DB Kevin Abrams. Syracuse would go on to win the Big East title for two more straight years, for 1996-98 total.
3. 1991 (10-2 overall, 5-0 Big East)
Paul Pasqualoni’s first year. After a 2-0 start, Kirby Dar Dar returned the opening kickoff against #5 Florida 95 yards for a TD. Dar Dar would be the figurehead of the Kirby Kirby Dar Dar Fan Fan Club Club started by Syracuse fans. Cuse went on to win 38-21 at the Carrier Dome, after which Florida coach Steve Spurrier was quoted as saying “From the opening kickoff to the last play they were the better team.” After a 4-0 start, Syracuse fell to 4-2, going from #10 to #24, but wouldn’t look back afterwards. A win at #20 Pittsburgh was their toughest test for the remainder of the regular season, finishing 9-2 and first place in the Big East (but the conference didn’t start crowning a champion until 1993). In the Hall of Fame Bowl vs Ohio State, Syracuse scored a 60 yard TD to take a 24-17 lead halfway through the 4th quarter, and hung on to win by the same score, finishing the year #11. WR Qadry Ismail was a 3rd Team All-American at the all-purpose position, rushing for 216 yards, receiving for 693 yards, and averaging 25 yards per kick return with a TD. And this team wasn’t done yet—key returners would come back for 1992 to have an even better year.
2. 1992 (10-2 overall, 6-1 Big East)
This time Syracuse would stay in the top 15 for most of the season. A 9-1 start included wins over Texas, 7-4 Rutgers, #24 West Virginia, and #17 Boston College. That set up #8 Syracuse hosting #1 Miami (FL) in the most memorable game of the season. Miami held a 16-10 lead with just 45 seconds left, but Syracuse was on Miami’s 22 yard line. But a five yard completion and two sacks would push Syracuse back to the 30, and with just seconds left, QB Marvin Graves fired a pass toward the end zone…CAUGHT, short of the goal line by TE Chris Gedney, who was immediately tackled at the 3 yard line. Miami wins, 16-10. So close. Graves had been in the game despite vomiting on the final drive, and Miami players admired his tenacity. Even despite the loss, Syracuse moved up 2 spots in the polls to #6, and made the Fiesta Bowl. Against Kordell Stewart and #10 Colorado, Syracuse won 26-22 to finish #6 in the polls. Gedney was a consensus All-American, catching 34 passes for 587 yards and 5 TD. Graves was a 2nd Team All-American, throwing for 2296 yards 14 TD 12 INT and rushing for 5 TD, also leading the NCAA in passing yards per attempt at 9.5. DT Kevin Mitchell was a 2nd Team All-American.
1. 1987 (11-0-1 overall, Independent)
Damn, I had no idea Syracuse had a team this good. Led by College Football Hall of Fame coach Dick MacPherson, he and QB Don McPherson (no relation) would lead Syracuse to their most magical season since the national title-winning 1959 season. A 5-0 start was met with raised eyebrows due to “quality” opponents like Miami (OH) and 2-9 Virginia Tech. #10 Penn State coming to town was the perfect test, as the Orange hadn’t beaten them in 17 years, and the Nittany Lions were the defending national champions. Syracuse pantsed them, winning 48-17. The rest of the schedule would be a cakewalk comparatively, but there were a few quality wins like 24-10 over 8-4 Pittsburgh and West Virginia. In the final regular season game, Syracuse was down 24-31 with 1:30 to go against WVU, needing to go 74 yards for the tie (or win). In one of the most exciting finishes in Orange history, Syracuse scored a 17 yard TD with just 10 seconds left to make it 30-31, and had the balls to go for 2, winning 32-31. Because of their weak(er) strength of schedule, #4 11-0 Syracuse was a heavy underdog to #6 Auburn in the Sugar Bowl, but they’d show up with a 16-16 tie as the final. They finished the season #4 in the AP Poll, and #5 in my rankings. With a win, they could’ve had a claim at a national title, but I doubt they would’ve finished #1 over 12-0 Miami (FL).
McPherson and MacPherson won pretty much every award you can think of. QB Don McPherson threw for 2341 yards 22 TD 11 INT, earning consensus All-Americans honors and winning the Davey O’Brien, Johnny Unitas Golden Arm, Maxwell, and Sammy Baugh Awards, and finished 2nd in Heisman voting to Notre Dame WR Tim Brown. Dick MacPherson won the Bobby Dodd, Eddie Robinson, Paul Bear Bryant, and Walter Camp Coach of the Year Awards. DL Ted Gregory was also a consensus All-American, and a 1st round pick in the 1988 NFL Draft.
1987 Syracuse is my 183rd best team since 1983.

5th Quarter

Does Syracuse deserve a national title if they beat Auburn in 1987? What do you think about Syracuse’s ranking on this list at #39? Are you surprised to see them this high, do they deserve to be this high? Why has Syracuse had so many famous alumni but a lack of success in the 2000s? Which team is up next on the list?
If you appreciate the effort, please consider subscribing on substack!

I have isolated myself. I isolated myself a long time ago, but now it's different. I barely even leave one room. I'm angrier about the messes in the house and will fight tooth and nail until everyone does their fair share (I used to be lazy lazy lazy, it was bad). I go from 0 to 100, even if I'm able to talk myself out of exploding on the outside.
I feel like I was conditioned to be this way? My dad would beat my mother violently for years, hide many illegal things, I want to say he molested me for years however I don't have any solid memories, I have weird experiences that point out that it happened in my memory, the way he talks to me and treats me - combined with how I feel about him... And the little girl within me tells me that it happened. I just had a baby, now he wants to see her, and now I haven't talked to him for weeks. He keeps messaging to see if I'm okay. And I feel bad. Because I don't have many memories of me getting hurt personally. And my mother using me as her therapist for her suicidal tendencies and fears of my dad... Shoplifting, lying, stealing, road raging, drug abuse, and unpredictable moods... She always proclaimed how much she loved me and would do anything for me... Fighting and yelling at people who were mean to me... Only to insinuate insecurities into me by whining about theirs, embarrassing me by pantsing me and playfully smacking my ass too much for comfort... She used me as a pawn in her and dad's fights. I begged her to leave him... And she never wanted to leave him until I finally had friends and said that I would stay with dad if she left... Always having to hide their drug addictions, having to hide the abuse, having to eventually hide the self harm, having to hide the girl that groomed me (at least she got me out of my parents world - but now she lives in my head forever regardless, and I know if I went back to her rn that she'd say she's been in my head the whole time, too. In multiple instances after we broke up, I told her intense when I was alone and felt that she was with me - she confirmed them. Anytime I saw a "ghost" as I was really into paranormal things, she validated me and said she saw it in more detail than I did. Anytime I told her about one of my friends at school, she got jealous and it was as if the intense excitement she held for talking to me in that moment died. She was allowed to have other relationships - I wasnt. She eventually got me to be in a relationship with her husband, whom of which had been sleeping with her cousin since she was 14 and him 22. They said they had alters that were different souls from different worlds and went very in depth and was very consistent with their story as was their husband, as were their parents and siblings... Idek. Told me that once they told me that they held multiple souls that I'd start noticing the other worlds and other realms). I was bullied at school for my weight, how I dressed, how I talked, how I smelled... The only friend I had for a while was the cousin that my groomer's husband had molested).
Once I was 18, I had my boyfriend at the time spend the night with me. My dad started assaulting my mother in the kitchen that night, I had a panic attack, and before I knew it - I was rushing to move in with him. We lived with his parents. Didn't work for a while. Spent 24/7 together. He hated everything about me and kept trying to change it and having panic attacks over my health - controlling what I ate, when I brushed my teeth, made me rinse my teeth after every meal, watched me use the bathroom and cheered me on like a child, would urinate on me without permission when we showered together... It got to the point of me not being allowed to shower alone because "I took too hot of showers and they would hurt me".
My life feels like a collection of flashbacks. It feels like I'm in a different dimension. I feel like I'm navigating thru the fog to be able to interact with my day to day life. My life feels like an abandoned archive with the same movies playing on repeat. I genuinely feel like I'm currently in purgatory. I feel like my purgatory is being in hell while also alive. Half of me is dead and stuck in the afterlife, but the other half is trying to navigate thru the fog - feeling like an alien among men. Half of me isn't actually dead, but it feels like they've already joined "the other side".
I plan to potentially read this to my therapist at our first in person session. Idk. Like I don't want sympathy, I just want her to fully understand and I honestly feel pathetic and whiney for typing this out. Just kinda typing away into the void.

1. Jennifer Lawrence was bullied, but she was also an "accidental bully" because she "pantsed this kid named Tyler" at a football game.
2. Her No Hard Feelings costar Andrew Feldman was also "bullied and [he] was a bully in middle school."
3. In middle school, Demi Lovato was bullied, but she also "didn't realize [she] was doing things that were also forms of bullying, like spreading rumors about people and gossiping."
4. Gabrielle Union "moved from being a mean, vindictive, hateful person who couldn't be happy for other people to embracing and truly being supportive" with the help of her friend AJ Johnson.
5. Like the Plastics in Mean Girls, Tina Fey was a high school mean girl. She described her bully status as "a disease that had to be conquered."
6. As a teenager, Lance Bass made fun of other kids for being gay to hide his own sexuality and to help him fit in.
7. Ricky Martin also used to "bully people who [he] knew were gay" because he had "internalized homophobia."
8. When Vanessa Hudgens was in a relationship with Zac Efron, she "went through a phase when [she] was really mean because [she] was so fed up [with his fans]."
9. As his YouTube channel grew, Jake Paul realized that the reality of being an influencer "is highly conducive to bully-like behavior of which [he's] witnessed, been subjected to, and been the instigator of." He had to "painfully come to grips with" the fact that he's "been the bully."
10. After Courtney Stodden called out Chrissy Teigen for cyberbullying them when they were a teenager, Chrissy publicly addressed her past behavior and apologized. On Twitter, she said, "I'm mortified and sad at who I used to be. I was an insecure, attention-seeking troll. I am ashamed and completely embarrassed at my behavior but that..is nothing compared to how I made Courtney feel."
11. After being bullied from the age of five, Doctor Who actor Christopher Eccleston became a bully "for a very short period." He made "a very sensitive boy" give him some of his chips during break. He "did it a few times, and [he's] very, very ashamed of it."
12. Gabourey Sidibe also opened up about being both bullied and being the bully in her childhood.
13. After rapper Fat Joe's best friend turned against him and joined the school bullies who beat him up every day, he "turned into the worst bully in the world." He admittedly "did some horrible things to good and bad people that [he's] not proud of."
14. 13 Reasons Why actor Christian Navarro "learned pretty quickly that if you bully, you don't get bullied, so [he] was a bully in middle school."
15. Growing up, Brandi Carlile moved around a lot, and she was both a victim of bullies as well as a bully herself at times.
16. Patrick Stewart admittedly "was a bully." As a kid, he was part of a group that would pick on and hurt a boy with a limb difference.
17. And finally, Tyra Banks was both a victim of bullying and a "mean girl" herself. She was a bully from ages 7–10 because "[her] brother used to say [she] was stupid" and make fun of her at home.

Link to article

Looking for Around the Horn?
Hey Sportsfans — it's time for Week 10 of baseball Power Rankings: Happy first Monday of June, everyone! Hopefully you've paid your rent, paid your bills, and sent us our monthly check to keep your favorite team higher than they deserve. Have a fabulous Monday!
Every voter has their own style / system and the only voting instructions are these:

"To an extent determined individually, you must take into account how strong a team is right now and likely to be going forward. You must, to some degree, give weight to the events and games of the previous week."

TRANSPARENCY: This link will show you who voted each team where and has added neat statistics!
New Voter Chance: Are you a fan of the Dodgers? We received tepid response last week and are still looking for a new Dodgers voter. I'll be reaching out to Dodgers shortly to help with the search. -- apologies for the delay. Check out this link to see how to apply!
If something is a little messed up, feel free to pester me let me know.
Total Votes: 29 of 29. Technically a perfect vote?

#		Team	Δ	Comment	Record
1		Rays	0	Why replace writers with AI when the Rays bullpen has proven to be the most cost efficient way to generate drama in 2023? The team doing so well makes it hard to complain, but Jason Adam also makes it so easy, yanno? Happy pride month y'all! In other positive news, Glasnow has looked good if not otherworldly in his return, he'll look to continue finding his groove. Yandy Diaz also hit a quintessential little league homerun, which should make everyone everywhere happy!	42-19
2		Rangers	0	hahahahaha offense go brrrrrrrt. Big week this week with a series against the struggling Cardinals and then the big weekend matchup against the Rays. Ending another month on top of the division and we are having fun!	38-20
3		Braves	0	Horrid start to the week by losing a series to the Oakland "Triple A's" (don't @ me...I heard their own annoucers call them that), but we salvaged the week in AZ thanks to Eddie Rosario playing OUT OF HIS MIND and capping off our weekend with a go ahead Slam in the top of the ninth on Sunday. We are banged up on the hump, but are pushing through. If this is a rough patch, I am happy. First up this week is the Mets. A very important series to get it all back on track.	35-24
4		Astros	+2	Crucial series win against the Angels to finish off the weekend. Saturday's game was a lot of fun, aside from the top of the 7th inning - but we don't talk about that. Let's talk instead about how Alex Bregman's grand slam, 4-walk day can be 100% attributed to his wife throwing out the first pitch (it was Girls Night Out) and Bregs subsequently skipping the photo op with her to finish his warm-up.	35-24
5		Dodgers	-1		35-25
6		Orioles	-1	Alternating wins and loses all week this past week. Losing two out of the last three series is not great. I then thought about it and obviously the Orioles can't win every game and can't win every series, so thinking they can, means I have more confidence in this team than I have in a very long time. Aaron Hicks has been a pleasant surprise filling in for Cedric, batting .455 with an OPS of 1.208. Even though the fans were severely against getting him, he seems to have been the right move so far. The next six games are against Milwaukee and KC, hopefully we go at least 4-2.	37-22
7		Yankees	0	Another strong road trip, another handful of injury questions. Is Nestor really hurt, or is this a “get right” phantom stint? Will Judge need IL time? Wtf’s Bader’s situation? In better news Stanton, Kahnle, and Donaldson are back, and Rodon is set to face live batters. It would be really fucking cool if we could get off the IL merry-go-round though.	36-25
8		Blue Jays	+1	Very nice bouceback week(ish) after our AL East foes took us to Pound Town, with series wins over Minnesota and Milwauke (Algonquin for "the good land") before sweeping the Nye Mets. Bassitt continued to build on his '23 legend by nearly throwing another CGSO while his wife was going into labor in another country. Vladdy lasered his first HR not off a shitting-his-pants position player since May 4th, and still hasn't hit one at home, which is WILD. Belt overcame DFA screams from dipshits after an abysmal April (.519 OPS) with a hero-ball May (.940 OPS). Big tests coming up, tho, with HOU, BAL, MIN, and TEX next on the docket. Someone throw an irradiated spider at Manoah or something.	33-27
9		D-Backs	-1	The Diamondbacks had a decent week, sweeping the Rockies in four games and coming within one out of taking two of three from the Braves. Alas, the Diamondbacks' bullpen is still the Diamondbacks' bullpen. Additionally, Geraldo Perdomo's abysmal peripherals are catching up with his early-season performance, and third base remains a question mark, as Josh Rojas still doesn't have a single home run on the season.	35-25
10		Twins	0	A 4-3 week, including another series win against the reigning WS Champions! The lineup still isn't consistent though and we're being carried by our good pitching. There's time to fix those issues as the summer goes on, especially in the AL Central where we don't have a lot of competition.	31-29
11		Brewers	+2	In the words of noted Brewers fan Tom, "i don't understand how each day the lineup can look worse than the day before, like each day feels like rock bottom then it gets even worse somehow" That's pretty much Brewers fandom opinion of the Spring Training esque lineups Milwaukee is trotting out day after day. Somehow the team was 4-2 in the last week though. (Thanks Reds). Also, Reddit effectively kiling third party app support is terrible, and might actually be the thing that gets me to leave this Californian Hotel.	32-27
12		Red Sox	0	You know, I liked baseball more when we weren't .500. Losing Chris Sale to the injured list right as we get Whitlock and Paxton back is cruel but predictable. Our rotation has a lot of talent, but lacks the stamina to actually go deep into games. Houck, Whitlock, Pivetta and Kutter are all decent to really good 1st/2nd time through. Pair them up and have them each throw ~3-4 innings and you've basically Frankenstiened two 110 ERA+ starters! CHaim hire me please :)	30-29
13		Pirates	+4	The Pirates had a miserable May. The pitching went from excellent to merely good while the offense was put on life support. The Bucs, who were 20-9 at the end of April, had dropped under the .500 mark on Memorial Day. Since then, the Bucs have won 5 straight — 2 against the Giants to pick up the Pirates' first (and only) series win in May, and then a sweep of the Cardinals for the first time since 2018. Yeah, the Pirates are only 31-27, but that puts them just a game out of first in the NL Central. Not bad considering where this team stood a week ago.	31-27
14		Angels	0	When he has been on the field and not getting into it with fans or wasting away on the injured list, Anthony Rendon has been a quietly solid presence in this Angels lineup. Slated to return back to the lineup within the next couple days, the team could use a boost in the middle part of the order, especially with runners on.	31-30
15		Mariners	-4	A Mariner is a person who works aboard a watercraft as part of its crew, and may work in any one of a number of different fields that are related to the operation and maintenance of a ship. The profession of the Mariner is old, and the term Mariner has its etymological roots in a time when sailing ships were the main mode of transport at sea, but it now refers to the personnel of all watercraft regardless of the mode of transport, and encompasses people who operate ships professionally, be it for a military navy or civilian merchant navy, as a sport or recreationally. Up next: 2 @ Vedder Cup bros, 3 @ Troutanis	29-30
16		Mets	-1	Since my last update, we swept the Phillies and we got swept by the Blue Jays. This is a weird Mets team who I think may just be pretty mediocre, though I suspect they'll stick sneak into the playoffs. Our record is back at .500 and we have the Braves in Atlanta next, which is not the kind of shit you want to see. Omar Narvaez will likely return from the IL this week, creating an interesting roster crunch which shouldn't be interesting at all, since current backup catcher Tomas Nido has an OPS of .278.	30-30
17		Marlins	+1	Sweepy has been busy so far this year. The fish complete their 4th sweep of the season on the visiting A's, reports are sketchy but apparently he was last spotted saying "Mets are over rated". We'll get further clarification on what he meant by that next time he resurfaces. Sandy is going through it right now, if im being honest i think hes working through some mechanical issues cuz hes still lowkey struggling with location. His last outing was fairly good save one inning where he allowed a bunch of runs but he is slowly improving. Very slowly. The his week the marlins are gonna host the royals, followed with a trip to south side chicago.	32-28
18		Giants	-2	The Giants went 2–4 with two 1-run losses. Normally losing a series to both the Orioles and Pirates would be problematic, but in the New Age, both teams are good and the Giants played hard 80% of the time. They are 5–7 in 1-Run Games, and 1-2 in extras, and with a +1 Run Diff (18th in MLB, -5 spots) they are slightly underperforming expected W/L Record. The Giants will be without Joc, Yaz, Conforto, Estrada, and Bart until tomorrow (expected), and Alex Wood is the latest casualty – gone for 12ish days. The rotation, led by Cobb, Webb, and Disco, will rely even more on the bullpen which usually means Jacob Junis (yay!) and Manaea (: / ). Cleaning up their act some, the bullpen ERA is now 20th in MLB (+3) and the whole staff at 15th in RA/G (=). The inconsistent offense, hampered by injuries and some mini-slumps, sits at 14th in RS/G (-2). Giants fans must hope a return to health will boost the bats, the younglings liven back up, and the bullpen holds the line @ Coors Field ( : / ) and vs the question-mark-of-a-team Chicago Cubs.	29-30
19		Padres	+1	It was the first game at Petco for my Niece and her Father. He'd long written off the Padres, as a team of nobodies that would never try to win at a sport that ultimatley rigged for markets that weren't in San Diego County. As a sign of goodwill from my Sis, his ex-wife, they had amazing seats, down by the first base side, that were each in the triple digits. Over the last few years he'd gotten into the sport for the first time since '98, and for my Niece, it was the first time following any pro sport in her life. They sat down at their beautiful seats, had a couple of 'dogs, and by the third inning, San Diego was behind 7-0. Sigh. The Padres average 39k at Petco, ranking 5th in the majors in attendance. They have a 13-17 record in those games.	27-32
20		Guardians	+3	I was on vacation this week, so I haven't been as aware of baseball as I should be. I did go to two games at Camden and two at Nationals Park while on my trip. The Guardians won a series against the Orioles and split one with the Twins, so now I'm being optimistic and will probably embarrass myself again. Also, I hope the Reds ranker is doing okay.	27-32
21		Phillies	-2	What a miserable week it was to be a Phillies fan. They salvaged a 2-4 record by winning the weekend games against the Nationals, but were dreadful all week in games that were just close enough to keep your hopes up. The Phillies are currently 4.5 games out of the 3rd wild card spot with 3 other teams ahead of them. Trea Turner, who you'd think would have one of the highest floors in the league, is hitting .232 with a dreadful .276 OBP. Alec Bohm hit the IL, which means the infield regularly includes one or two of Josh Harrison, Kody Clemens (who's actually been quite hot the past few weeks), and AAAA quality Drew Ellis (who went 3/3 with 2 walks and 2 home runs on Sunday). The bats and pitching have completely died, but that's thankfully set the stage for Nick Castellanos to do what he does best. This week: a homestand with 3 against the Tigers and 3 against the Dodgers.	27-32
22		Cubs	+2	This week was a much needed bounce back for the Cubs, as they took 2 out of 3 from both the Rays and Padres. Unfortunately, the week was marred by yet more struggles in the clutch and with RISP as well as Justin Steele's injury. Steele is out for at least 2 starts with forearm soreness, and will be dearly missed as he has kept the Cubs in game after game. The Cubs continue their West Coast road trip this week with sereis against the Angels and Giants following today's game in SD.	26-32
23		Cardinals	-2	The Cardinals should be playing better, they aren't. They've been bad all season. Short of collective epiphany that sees them 30 up in their next 40 (lol, doubt it) there's no useful information I can put in this box past "Fire John Mozeliak."	25-35
24		Reds	+1	It finally happened boys. After just a month of being separated, she gave me official divorce papers. I think she’s made it abundantly clear she has no interest in fixing things, and you know what? I get it. It’s alright. She told me straight up that she didn’t feel anything between us anymore, and no amount of therapy or counseling is gonna fix that, whatever was there is gone. She’s felt like that for a while, I just refused to see it, I was in denial. But i’m not anymore. I’m free, I am once more ready to set sail on the ocean of loneliness until I find land. I hope I can find land. I gotta find land. How we’ll divide time between our son is yet to be determined, but I know we’ll find a good compromise. I’m just…happy that the air is clear. No more pretending to enjoy each other's presence, no more fake smiles to mask our emptiness. No more. Anyway, let’s talk Reds baseball. We had a good road trip where our offense managed to shine but a horrid home series where we got pantsed by a division rival. The front office just refuses to throw the fans a bone. We continue to give playing time to people like Will Benson and Stuart Fairchild, all the while prospects like Elly De La Cruz and Christian Encarnacion-Strand are tearing up AAA to the point where there’s really nothing left for them to do. Both had problems with their Walk%, so what happened? The last couple weeks both have significantly improved their walk rate. They have nothing left to do in AAA if you ask me and plenty of the fanbase. Imagine if both can be successful in the MLB, what kind of boost of energy that would give to this team while they’re still in striking distance of the NL Central crown. Our starting pitching is still a major liability, Graham Ashcraft has just flat out forgotten how to pitch. The Bullpen is still keeping us in games and our offense can be truly clutch at times, but consistency is one thing we’ve lacked all season. Consistency, consistency, consistency. It’s not here. But with an injection of young talent, things could definitely turn around, or I guess you could say something that’s become a bit of a motto here in Cincinnati and with our recent ownership groups: We’re just a couple years away.	26-33
25		Tigers	-3	RIP Riley Greene. RIP Eduardo Rodriguez. I guess the White Sox walkoff on Saturday where a Jose Cisnero pitch domed the home plate umpire for a wild pitch was emblematic of this week (shrugs). As a side note, man is this linup brutal, sporting a team slash line of .226/.302/.349 for the season. Yikes! This week: 3 at PHI, 3 vs. ARI.	26-31
26		White Sox	+2	The AL Central being so competitive/non-competitive is the worst thing for the White Sox right now. Despite being 9 games under .500, they are only 5.5 games back in the division. They're stuck in limbo right now. In any sane world, they would already be selling parts, but in all likelihood, they'll have to sell some of the future at the deadline, only to go on a cold streak in mid September, finish 8 games out in the division, and make this awful season feel even worse.	26-35
27		Nationals	-1	Rough week for the Nats losing 5 of 7 and getting even worse news with the announcement of Strasburg being shut down from all physical activity. While I can't speak for all Nats fans, I can speak for myself: Stephen Strasburg has absolutely nothing to prove. I genuinely would be ecstatic for him to ride off into the sunset without throwing another pitch before unvailing a statue with Zim on the corner of Capitol and Potomac.	25-34
28		Rockies	-1	No Blurb Submitted	26-35
29		Royals	0	Congo rats to Scott Barlow on notching his 50th career save. And congo rats to Aroldis Chapman for rebuilding his career and being a trade chip. The Royals are going to fuck up the return, but at least he can get something back in another couple of months. I'm looking forward to surgery so I can be too drugged up to give a shit about this team.	18-41
30		Athletics	0	More a question than a curse, how could hell be any worse?	12-49

Including this gem: 20. My most embarrassing moment was when I got pantsed in an open kitchen with no underwear on. The whole dining room saw it — and by “it,” you know what I mean. The chef was yelling at me to pull my pants up and I told him that I didn’t pull them down, so he made the cook that did it pull my pants up.
https://www.usmagazine.com/food/news/duff-goldman-25-things-you-dont-know-about-me-2/

Things like non-consensual figging, bare-buttock spanking, double-pantsing etc. How dare they use the word “humiliation” as if such actions were akin to failing a concert in front of everyone!! Here’s the thing: with embarrassment and humiliation, you get the shame from attention being drawn to where you do not want it drawn to. HOWEVER, there is nothing in those words that imply it is intrinsically wrong for the person humiliated/embarrassed to be in the situation. If you fail a concert and everyone looks at you, that’s not an intrinsic right being violated; they can not be faulted for looking. With the said disgusting actions I have mentioned above however, the human right to dignity and privacy is being violated and the said acts that put you in the situation are wrong, in and of themselves! Nobody is wronging you if you fail a concert in front of others, but in such situations where it is an INFRINGEMENT on the body, there is something wrong! I don’t want to hear ANYONE dare call such experiences a “humiliation,” as if the fault lies in the victim’s feelings, RATHER THAN THE CRIME ITSELF!!