Miniplanet money cheat

It seems that this is a playbook. Last night she told me that she was ending it, it was completely finished and that she never wants me to contact her again.
This came about because I offended her by saying that she should concentrate on her bills and commitments rather than getting hair extensions which cost a lot of money. I also asked who she was trying to attract with her new beauty ideas. I don’t know if she was cheating but my gut told me something was off.
What happened next was cold and brutal. She wouldn’t answer my calls. Has ignored my texts and today has continued to just ignore me.
I feel like this is it and she’s really done. I can’t comprehend how the person who said she would never leave me has now left me. What I also can’t comprehend is that she gets to leave me after all the madness I’ve put up with over the last year or so.
She hasn’t blocked me yet but I’ve decided today that I’m not contacting her again as per her wishes. What a mindfuck .

My spouse is currently 42 Days sober out of rehab, and I am so proud! So many positive changes, and I can see his heart, its an amazing feeling. Unfortunately I was under the misguided impression that when he became sober, he would be completely out of the “psychosis” and realize that what he had been accusing me of, was just bizarre and not true. Yet here we sit, trying to show each other love, yet I know in the back of his mind, he legitimately believes he caught me in MULTIPLE porn video’s(which he sent to me while I was working), sleeping with his family members, male and female, ages ranging from high school, up to 50’s…strangers, all the neighbors…you name it, he accused me of it. Even when these women look nothing like me and they are covering their eyes. So i guess my question isn’t why he feels this way, because I’ve read about all i could read about drug induced psychosis…but more a question as to maybe how long, or is this idea going to stay planted forever? He refuses to watch the video’s he sent me before going to rehab. I had kept them as my “proof” per se that they weren’t me, but he believes he will just be triggered by watching them because he is afraid he will still “see me” in them, even though I have never done such a thing in my life, and 110% those women are not me. In my mind I’m thinking, what better solution to the problem, than to watch the videos with sober eyes and realize they aren’t me, wouldn’t that be a damn relief, for the both of us? Obviously not a relief if his brain could truly cause him to picture my face on other peoples bodies, but of course I’m not thinking of that, when I know that no way in hell these people are me, just like I cant possibly understand where he is coming from, he cannot see perspective from my side either, when this is quite literally reality versus drug induced psychosis… Has anyone experienced this situation? I cannot help but to feel offended by these accusations, and the strong desire to prove my innocence. What I cannot seem to get on board with, is the idea that he needs to just be able to deal with “my cheating” “accept it” and be able to “move on”…because that is offensive to my sensibilities. I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS ACTualLY BETRAYED…so those resentments and feelings of a need for forgivingness belong to me, how can I watch someone try to “get over, and be okay with” something I never did…that cannot be the best solution to the problem, because for the rest of our lives, can he then claim to be triggered by the fact that I had cheated on him, even if only in his head, and I must feel some sort of pity for him, and treat the situation delicately like I have anything to be sorry for, and feel empathy for him? Selfishly I am speaking now, but those feelings of betrayal belong to me, I am the one who is destroyed inside, lacking confidence, feeling like I wasn’t enough, but does the success of his recovery process mean that I must make myself small once again and allow him to believe that he is working on forgiveness for my actions? That is such a damn hard pill to swallow…although, I would do it, I just want there to be another answer. He cheated on me multiple times over multiple years, so I’m aware that he may be projecting his own insecurities onto me because of his guilt, and I need to be sensitive to the fact that what happened in his head was very real to him…but how do I maneuver around the ideas put into his head when he was experiencing psychosis, now that his brain is healing and he is sober? I hoped that there would just be a “TADAAA” moment when he was sober, that he would finally see what I had been seeing this whole time, but is that too much to hope for? I have stayed by his side, and tried to be his strongest supporter, I have tried to take on all child and financial responsibilities, and I am emotionally wore out…yet I must be met with questions about WHERE the money to do the supporting is coming from…because it couldn’t possibly be the job that I’ve maintained…while being alone to take care of the child a majority of his life, and making sure I drove all the way across the state whenever I was allowed to visit at rehab. I cannot help but to feel anger when I am struggling so much and fighting for what I know my reality is, yet trying to be supportive for him, barely getting sleep, and continuing to go to work…and then be accused of getting money from anywhere but the job that my bank account and paystubs can verify. I love him more than he will ever know, but my anger that he would accuse me of such things, is starting to be replaced by sadness. I do not necessarily want to feel sorry for him, because I know this is not fair to me, but how can I not have empathy for the person I love so much, that actually feels somewhat broken hearted, even if not because of my true actions…? To look into the eyes of someone you love, and know that this isn’t just a game, that they are feeling true pain, based on facts that have become so real to them in their head…it breaks my heart, even though I have no guilt to carry, as I have never been unfaithful. I wanted to be mad for the longest time, but it hurts different when you know that scenes, and photos, and voices were actually playing over in their heads, and they actually feel they were betrayed…how do we prepare ourselves for situations like this? He was absolutely awful to me when he was high, accused me of every disgusting act, with strangers, his family, anyone. I was called every name in the book, but I just tried to research what this drug was doing to him, I felt knowledge could help me to separate my feelings from myself so I could just try to understand what was going on, and because deaf and numb to how he was making me feel. I already know that I struggle with depression, insecurity, and an unhealthy need to belong and be desired by my partner, so I had to go to extreme lengths to prove I cared, and a lot of those lengths compromised me, and they were at my expense, because I am not okay, but I focus on him and his recovery so that I don’t have to deal with those feelings for now. I felt I owed it to our 4 year old son, to try and help his father, and I also selfishly believed that I deserved a good man, after all the ****, it was my turn to be happy, and I had chosen his…God had chosen him to lead my family, so i wasn’t going to give up on him. How do I now not feel like I have to spend every moment feeling I have to try and prove something that never happened? I know what infidelity did to me, to my very core, I am not okay, a large part due to the fact that I still could never imagine flirting with another man, let alone having sex with them, it makes me sick, that’s how ridiculously faithful I am in my heart, and mind…that my body would never do what he was able to do to me. I have to try and tell myself, although I know it isn’t true, he doesn’t, and what if he is feeling the same way in his gut, that I feel because of actions he actually took? Is this a life sentence? How long does reality take to set back in, or are the memories that occurred during psychosis permanent?? Is this a problem that now sits as a dark shadow over our relationship, that he must “deal with”…or is there hope that a day comes where that paranoia and delusional thinking gets exposed, and clear thinking can prove to himself that what he thought was true, never was? I want an epiphany…not just acceptance from him, I want him to know absolutely that I didn’t deserve his behaviors and that I have always been true and stood right there, I need a miracle… I cannot picture a happy future with someone who feels they must forgive me for something that I didn’t do, that specific something being my largest daily struggle, trying not to think of that her, that woman who came like a tornado through me, she destroyed any sort of positive thinking I had started accumulating towards myself, anything good I felt I had to offer, and sense of confidence I may have built in myself when I fell in love with him, gone… the moment I realized that I wasn’t enough, over ,and over, and over again…the thought of that infidelity tears my stomach up when I have to think about it, so if some storyline is playing in his head, and he feels betrayed… if we are both that hurt, how does our story end, if sobriety doesn’t mean clear eyes on the same situation?

My spouse is currently 42 Days sober out of rehab, and I am so proud! So many positive changes, and I can see his heart, its an amazing feeling. Unfortunately I was under the misguided impression that when he became sober, he would be completely out of the “psychosis” and realize that what he had been accusing me of, was just bizarre and not true. Yet here we sit, trying to show each other love, yet I know in the back of his mind, he legitimately believes he caught me in MULTIPLE porn video’s(which he sent to me while I was working), sleeping with his family members, male and female, ages ranging from high school, up to 50’s…strangers, all the neighbors…you name it, he accused me of it. Even when these women look nothing like me and they are covering their eyes. So i guess my question isn’t why he feels this way, because I’ve read about all i could read about drug induced psychosis…but more a question as to maybe how long, or is this idea going to stay planted forever? He refuses to watch the video’s he sent me before going to rehab. I had kept them as my “proof” per se that they weren’t me, but he believes he will just be triggered by watching them because he is afraid he will still “see me” in them, even though I have never done such a thing in my life, and 110% those women are not me. In my mind I’m thinking, what better solution to the problem, than to watch the videos with sober eyes and realize they aren’t me, wouldn’t that be a damn relief, for the both of us? Obviously not a relief if his brain could truly cause him to picture my face on other peoples bodies, but of course I’m not thinking of that, when I know that no way in hell these people are me, just like I cant possibly understand where he is coming from, he cannot see perspective from my side either, when this is quite literally reality versus drug induced psychosis… Has anyone experienced this situation? I cannot help but to feel offended by these accusations, and the strong desire to prove my innocence. What I cannot seem to get on board with, is the idea that he needs to just be able to deal with “my cheating” “accept it” and be able to “move on”…because that is offensive to my sensibilities. I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS ACTualLY BETRAYED…so those resentments and feelings of a need for forgivingness belong to me, how can I watch someone try to “get over, and be okay with” something I never did…that cannot be the best solution to the problem, because for the rest of our lives, can he then claim to be triggered by the fact that I had cheated on him, even if only in his head, and I must feel some sort of pity for him, and treat the situation delicately like I have anything to be sorry for, and feel empathy for him? Selfishly I am speaking now, but those feelings of betrayal belong to me, I am the one who is destroyed inside, lacking confidence, feeling like I wasn’t enough, but does the success of his recovery process mean that I must make myself small once again and allow him to believe that he is working on forgiveness for my actions? That is such a damn hard pill to swallow…although, I would do it, I just want there to be another answer. He cheated on me multiple times over multiple years, so I’m aware that he may be projecting his own insecurities onto me because of his guilt, and I need to be sensitive to the fact that what happened in his head was very real to him…but how do I maneuver around the ideas put into his head when he was experiencing psychosis, now that his brain is healing and he is sober? I hoped that there would just be a “TADAAA” moment when he was sober, that he would finally see what I had been seeing this whole time, but is that too much to hope for? I have stayed by his side, and tried to be his strongest supporter, I have tried to take on all child and financial responsibilities, and I am emotionally wore out…yet I must be met with questions about WHERE the money to do the supporting is coming from…because it couldn’t possibly be the job that I’ve maintained…while being alone to take care of the child a majority of his life, and making sure I drove all the way across the state whenever I was allowed to visit at rehab. I cannot help but to feel anger when I am struggling so much and fighting for what I know my reality is, yet trying to be supportive for him, barely getting sleep, and continuing to go to work…and then be accused of getting money from anywhere but the job that my bank account and paystubs can verify. I love him more than he will ever know, but my anger that he would accuse me of such things, is starting to be replaced by sadness. I do not necessarily want to feel sorry for him, because I know this is not fair to me, but how can I not have empathy for the person I love so much, that actually feels somewhat broken hearted, even if not because of my true actions…? To look into the eyes of someone you love, and know that this isn’t just a game, that they are feeling true pain, based on facts that have become so real to them in their head…it breaks my heart, even though I have no guilt to carry, as I have never been unfaithful. I wanted to be mad for the longest time, but it hurts different when you know that scenes, and photos, and voices were actually playing over in their heads, and they actually feel they were betrayed…how do we prepare ourselves for situations like this? He was absolutely awful to me when he was high, accused me of every disgusting act, with strangers, his family, anyone. I was called every name in the book, but I just tried to research what this drug was doing to him, I felt knowledge could help me to separate my feelings from myself so I could just try to understand what was going on, and because deaf and numb to how he was making me feel. I already know that I struggle with depression, insecurity, and an unhealthy need to belong and be desired by my partner, so I had to go to extreme lengths to prove I cared, and a lot of those lengths compromised me, and they were at my expense, because I am not okay, but I focus on him and his recovery so that I don’t have to deal with those feelings for now. I felt I owed it to our 4 year old son, to try and help his father, and I also selfishly believed that I deserved a good man, after all the ****, it was my turn to be happy, and I had chosen his…God had chosen him to lead my family, so i wasn’t going to give up on him. How do I now not feel like I have to spend every moment feeling I have to try and prove something that never happened? I know what infidelity did to me, to my very core, I am not okay, a large part due to the fact that I still could never imagine flirting with another man, let alone having sex with them, it makes me sick, that’s how ridiculously faithful I am in my heart, and mind…that my body would never do what he was able to do to me. I have to try and tell myself, although I know it isn’t true, he doesn’t, and what if he is feeling the same way in his gut, that I feel because of actions he actually took? Is this a life sentence? How long does reality take to set back in, or are the memories that occurred during psychosis permanent?? Is this a problem that now sits as a dark shadow over our relationship, that he must “deal with”…or is there hope that a day comes where that paranoia and delusional thinking gets exposed, and clear thinking can prove to himself that what he thought was true, never was? I want an epiphany…not just acceptance from him, I want him to know absolutely that I didn’t deserve his behaviors and that I have always been true and stood right there, I need a miracle… I cannot picture a happy future with someone who feels they must forgive me for something that I didn’t do, that specific something being my largest daily struggle, trying not to think of that her, that woman who came like a tornado through me, she destroyed any sort of positive thinking I had started accumulating towards myself, anything good I felt I had to offer, and sense of confidence I may have built in myself when I fell in love with him, gone… the moment I realized that I wasn’t enough, over ,and over, and over again…the thought of that infidelity tears my stomach up when I have to think about it, so if some storyline is playing in his head, and he feels betrayed… if we are both that hurt, how does our story end, if sobriety doesn’t mean clear eyes on the same situation?

I started seeing a teacher when I moved to a new city for a new job (met on Hinge). I was working long hours at the hospital during COVID but got to see her a few times a week. She was a single mother with a 6 month old which I did not mind but as I got to know her I discovered the following things. After 11 months of knowing her she gave me an ultimatum to get a ring and be engaged within the next 3-4 months. Looking back, I ignored and dismissed a lot of things. Here are the things I learned and want to know what you would think if the person you are dating had this history and they were asking for a lifetime commitment:
• She had cheated on her ex-husband with a man at a party. When I asked her what the issues were in the marriage, she said he was a nice man but just neglectful of her in the marriage.
• She spent the next 5 years with the man she cheated with on her ex-husband. She left that man because “he wasn’t going to move on up in the world and make something of himself.” In other words, he wasn’t going to make more money or climb the social status ladder per her. I asked if he was good to her. She said - yes! He was an amazing partner otherwise.
• Then she found a man who is wealthy and educated and a lecturer, who has a good family and generational wealth including properties. He told her that he was polyamorous. She chased him and tried to convince him the entirety of their relationship to convert to monogamy for her. I spoke with him directly because he is the father of her child. He said that she moved fast and was talking about marriage within 3 months of knowing him. He was unwilling to really change his lifestyle and even took her to orgies and shared books on poly lifestyle with her to see if she would be okay with being his main person while he does poly. After 11 months or more of dating and eventually living together, she finds out she is pregnant with his child. She tells everyone that she missed the pill for a day or two and got pregnant. (When she told me this I was very surprised because my understanding is that it’s quite rare to get pregnant with just missing one day). She found out she was pregnant and decides to keep the baby. All the while trying to convince the baby’s father to marry her. He eventually told her that he didn’t want the child or a family. While she is figuring this out with him, she began sleeping with a dentist during pregnancy. I asked her about this choice and why not stay with this dentist. She said that he was burning out and was looking to leave dentistry. Once she knew that the baby’s biological dad would not marry her at any cost, she calls up the ex-boyfriend and starts sleeping with him once the baby is born.
• I discovered recently that during our relationship, she has been scanning for other men and keeping her options open. I am so disappointed and upset with myself for ignoring the red flags.
Tell me if you knew this history about a person, what conclusions you would draw and if you would get into a long-term relationship with them? Thanks for the input.

TL;DR
For context, I am a Massage Therapist [28F] while my partner [35M] is a Line Cook. We've been together for 8 years and We have a six-year-old child. When I got pregnant in 2017, we were still boyfriend and girlfriend and not living together. I continued working while pregnant to cover my expenses and rent since I was living alone.
When I reached my sixth month of pregnancy, I decided to move in with him because I couldn't continue doing massages, and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to pay the rent. I thought it would be easier if I had someone to support me financially since he was still working in a call center at that time. However, when we started living together, he had a conflict with someone in his company and he resigned. He didn't apply for another job since then. (I was seven months pregnant when he resigned).
We were in a tight situation, but luckily we were able to live with his family, so we didn't have to pay rent. I went to public hospitals for my check-ups and delivery, so we didn't have to spend money on that. But for our food and our baby's needs, his mother provided for us. At that time, his two siblings were still in college, and his mother was only selling food, so the budget she left for us was only 50 pesos a day. We would get our meals from the food she sold.
I felt really embarrassed to ask for more, to the point that I ran out of money to buy cleaning supplies for my stitches after my C-section. I used panty liners to cover the wound. I didn't want to ask for help from my parents because since I got pregnant, my parents didn't want me to be with him. I was the one who insisted.
Six months after giving birth, I went back to doing massages even though it was difficult for me, and he's left at home to take care of our child and do the household chores. But whenever there's an opportunity, I also help out because he always says that being a house husband is tiring. I really forced myself to work because I felt sorry for us, always relying on handouts. I tried telling him to find work, but the thing is, he keeps flunking the medical exams because of his lung scar. When he applied and failed, he didn't want to try again.
Since then, I have been the one shouldering all the expenses, from baby's needs, food, baptism, birthdays, Christmas, and everything else. My brother forced him to work as a construction worker, and he did it for almost three months, but when the project was finished, he lost his job again. Fast forward In December 2023, his friend got him a job at a restaurant, and he asked me to quit my job so that I could take care of our child. So I resigned, but I still do freelance work twice a week to supplement our budget.
However, there was a problem with their job, so the one-month salary they were supposed to receive was not given immediately. I used up my earnings to support him and our household expenses (bills, food, and our child's school allowance). I was forced to work again because we had nothing left. After two months, he found another job. We both started working, and we hired someone to take care of our child.
I told him that we should split the expenses, but he refused because he only earns minimum wage and he thinks I earn more. I earn 700 pesos per day plus tips (400-700 pesos per day), and on my two rest days, I do freelance work and earn 3,000 pesos weekly. So our weekly budget is 2,000 pesos, including our child's allowance. I divide it into two so that we each contribute 1,000 pesos. Since I earn more, I pay for the water, electricity, internet, caregiver's fee, and gas. The 1,000 pesos is his only contribution, but he still pushing to cut down on what he's chipping in. He wants me to reduce his share so that he can buy things for himself since he thinks I earn a lot. I don't want to agree to that.
I understand that maybe now, since he has finally earned some money through his hard work, he wants to be able to buy the things he desires. But what about our child's needs? I want him to be obligated to provide for our son, but I can't really say it. I always get scared when I try to voice out my feelings because he gets angry right away and says I talk too much.
I'm really struggling, but I have no one to talk to because I don't want my family's view of him to change. I can't even tell his family because they are still his relatives. I don't have any close friends I can confide in. It's difficult because he is a good father to our child, he doesn't cheat on me, and he is caring, especially before when he didn't have a job. He just doesn't have a provider mindset.
I have already told him before that in my line of work, I can't avoid indecent proposals and harassment, even though I don't tolerate them. It's inevitable that there will be people who will try to take advantage. That's why I don't want to work anymore, especially since I have been the only one working throughout our relationship. We've been together for 8 years. If we count the days we've been together, he hasn't even worked for a year yet, he just agrees without making any effort to apply for a job.
I'm so tired, I feel like I'm completely neglecting myself and my mental health. I understand what I should do, the thought of separating has crossed my mind, but I'm worried about the impact it would have on our child. I also don't want to add more worries for my elderly parents since they are both senior citizens. I'm really struggling with this decision.

I started seeing a teacher when I moved to a new city for a new job (met on Hinge). I was working long hours at the hospital during COVID but got to see her a few times a week. She was a single mother with a 6 month old which I did not mind but as I got to know her I discovered the following things. After 11 months of knowing her she gave me an ultimatum to get a ring and be engaged within the next 3-4 months. Looking back, I ignored and dismissed a lot of things. Here are the things I learned and want to know what you would think if the person you are dating had this history and they were asking for a lifetime commitment:
• She had cheated on her ex-husband with a man at a party. When I asked her what the issues were in the marriage, she said he was a nice man but just neglectful of her in the marriage.
• She spent the next 5 years with the man she cheated with on her ex-husband. She left that man because “he wasn’t going to move on up in the world and make something of himself.” In other words, he wasn’t going to make more money or climb the social status ladder per her. I asked if he was good to her. She said - yes! He was an amazing partner otherwise.
• Then she found a man who is wealthy and educated and a lecturer, who has a good family and generational wealth including properties. He told her that he was polyamorous. She chased him and tried to convince him the entirety of their relationship to convert to monogamy for her. I spoke with him directly because he is the father of her child. He said that she moved fast and was talking about marriage within 3 months of knowing him. He was unwilling to really change his lifestyle and even took her to orgies and shared books on poly lifestyle with her to see if she would be okay with being his main person while he does poly. After 11 months or more of dating and eventually living together, she finds out she is pregnant with his child. She tells everyone that she missed the pill for a day or two and got pregnant. (When she told me this I was very surprised because my understanding is that it’s quite rare to get pregnant with just missing one day). She found out she was pregnant and decides to keep the baby. All the while trying to convince the baby’s father to marry her. He eventually told her that he didn’t want the child or a family. While she is figuring this out with him, she began sleeping with a dentist during pregnancy. I asked her about this choice and why not stay with this dentist. She said that he was burning out and was looking to leave dentistry. Once she knew that the baby’s biological dad would not marry her at any cost, she calls up the ex-boyfriend and starts sleeping with him once the baby is born.
• I discovered recently that during our relationship, she has been scanning for other men and keeping her options open. I am so disappointed and upset with myself for ignoring the red flags.
Tell me if you knew this history about a person, what conclusions you would draw and if you would get into a long-term relationship with them? Thanks for the input.

I(25F) have found myself in a situation where I am not sure what to do. My husband (35M) and I have only been married for a year and I half. When I was 8 months pregnant, my brother in law (29 years old) moved in with us because he had nowhere to go. When we said he could move in, we made it clear that this would not be a permanent thing, that he needed to work on saving money, and be willing to help out around the house. We set ground rules as well: no drugs, ask before having your girlfriend over.
We are in month 9 of him living with us and I have had to beg numerous times for him to clean up after himself. I am a SAHM to my 6 1/2 month old and already clean up after her, my husband and 3 dogs. He uses our guest room and guest bathroom and they are constantly trashed. The girl he was dating when he started living with us, (we’ll call her L), he would always bring over without talking to us and it would turn into having her stay the night. I liked L, she was always super respectful so I brushed it off but I feel like he still should’ve asked. 3 weeks ago he broke up with L after cheating on her with his ex multiple times. We’ll call the ex C
Now C was terrible. She would use him, cheat on him, left him homeless and was an all around terrible influence. Since getting back with his C he is out all night partying. Yesterday I heard from L who reached out and told me my BIL had been doing Cocaine with C when they would go out. It was confirmed by my BIL’s best friend. I told my husband what I had heard and he brushed it off like it didn’t matter, said L was hurt and it couldn’t be true. I went out and bought a drug test and when my husband and BIL got home I had my husband talk to him. The immediate denial came and he said I was being crazy. He tested positive for cocaine and my husband and MIL just think I’m out to get my BIL.
I’m not sure what to do because my husband seems to think it’s not a big deal. I told him I want my BIL taking weekly drug tests and that this is not okay. My husband immediately shut that down and said no, not happening. He refuses to believe it. My daughter is in the phase where she is starting to put things in her mouth and is about to start crawling. She currently rolls to get places and this isn’t an environment I want her in.
Since my husband said no to the drug tests they’ve just been acting like nothing happened and that it doesn’t matter. I don’t know what to do.

I tried EFT back in the day and found it too hardcore, but the main issue was that I didn't know how the game works, the mechanics, the traders, the hideout, ... nothing!
I discovered SPT recently and I really like it l, but I still don't know how Tarkov works (outside of combat I mean).
I googled stuff like how to make money but I always get clickbait videos of cheesy mechanics.
I guess I could start by asking how do you make money in Tarkov? I read about the flea market, but again, IDK how it works, and also I had to cheat it because I keep dying and running out of guns and ammo.
Also what am I supposed to do with the loot I find like HDDs, plugs, and stuff like that? Sell it? Or hoard it? I have no clue.
Any advice or help with the Tarkov mechanics it's welcome.

There was this situation that bothered me and I'm wondering if I'm unreasonable here or if me being annoyed by this is justified.
It was in this campaign that mostly takes place in one specific town where our characters live, so they are not traveling a lot but have a home and their own rooms, whereby it’s not necessary for them to always carry all their belongings with them. We are a small group of three people with two PCs having a noble background and my PC basically not having any money. This is also not a setting where the characters often get the chance to acquire large amounts of money. My character then acquired several hundred gold pieces, which to him is a LOT of money. To me it was completely obvious that he wouldn’t walk around with a pouch containing several hundred GP. I had decided that he would usually just carry 10 GP and keep the rest safely stashed in his room. I kept track of that in my notes but did not put it anywhere in his character sheet because I did assume the money in the inventory was simply the money he owned and not necessarily the money he kept on his person. (Dndbeyond doesn't have an option to make a distinction there.) One time our characters did travel somewhere and I told the dm that my character would take 100 GP with him. I only said it but again did not note that in the character sheet. During that adventure my character walked through a portal that caused him to lose all money and gemstones he was carrying, including what was left over of the 100 GP he had been carrying.
Then one day my character’s money pouch got stolen while he was at the market. I shrugged it off and was like “That’s annoying but there were only a few gold pieces in there, so it could be worse”. But then the dm told me that no, ALL his money had been in the purse, since I had not stated otherwise in the character sheet. I said that made absolutely no sense, why would my character carry all his money with him? Of course he would keep it safe in his room. The eventually decided that my character had only carried half of his money with him, so I was allowed to let keep half.
I wasn't happy with the solution but accepted it because I didnt want to cause an argument and derail the session. But it still bothered me.
What annoys me about this is that sometimes it seems to be super important what is in the character sheet and other times it’s not. If they made a point of it being very important to them to have everything accurate in the character sheet and they expect us to keep track of everything 100% all the time, then I would have been like “Damn, that was an oversight on my part. I get it, I messed up here”. But to me it seems so random when something is supposedly important and when it’s not. There have been instances where they berated me for not having a certain weapon equipped (when I was still very new to combat) and then another instance they explicitly said equipping weapons in the character sheet wasn't important and it didn't matter.
There could be a possibility that they told me somewhere along the way to put the money stuff in the character sheet in the future that I don't remember. But even in case they did it still wouldn't feel right to me because they CONSTANTLY forget stuff, like incorporating homebrew stuff into the game and then not adding it on dndbeyond after being reminded several times. I am very understanding of them not always remembering things, so it doesn't sit right with me for them to not be understanding when I (possibly) forget something and make it have negative consequences for my character.
If I were the dm I would just trust my players to be honest about this. If I were a player who is known to cheat, the kind of person who would decide their character carries all their money but then upon hearing that it was stolen would suddenly pretend that their character of course would only carry a small amount… then I would understand why the dm would decide that way.
But I am the opposite of that. It is very important to me for things to be realistic. So even if everyone at the table had been aware that my character usually only carries 10 GP, if I had decided that on that specific day my character would have taken 300 GP extra with him because he wanted to buy something specific later that day, I would have reacted with “Oh no! He took 300 GP today! And now it’s all gone!!”. Even if I had not mentioned that he had taken 300 GP or that he planned on buying something and could totally get away with just changing it and not mentioning it. But I don’t do that. I’m honest about this kind of thing and I feel like the dm should know that. I even reminded the dm of a specific magic item that my character was carrying when something happened that I feared would affect the item. An item which I was very worried about my character losing. And still I mentioned it being there because if it’s there, it’s there. Cannot change that.
So to me it just seems random and petty and like I’m being punished for not explicitly stating something in the character sheet.
I can live with both the character sheet having to be 100% accurate and with it not mattering. But it sometimes having to be accurate and sometimes not and me apparently having to know when which applies and getting punished when I don't magically know that just really bothers me.
Am I being petty and unreasonable here? Is that just how the game is and my dm was justified in deciding that way, or is it understandable that this bothered me?
Tl;dr DM decided all my character’s money was stolen from his pouch despite me saying that my character doesn’t carry all his money with him. DM said since I didn’t explicitly state that in the character sheet they’ll go by the assumption that my character carries all his money and therefore it’s gone. Sometimes they say the character sheet has to be accurate and other times they say it doesn't matter, so it seems very random to me. They also constantly forget stuff and I am very understanding of that, so I feel like they’re being petty and unjustly punishing me for failing to put something in the sheet.

I use a bot. Lots of people do. I'm of the opinion that it's not unethical, when the CEO of this company could definitely pay his workers far above the pay grade to do this job. Amazon is always in the news for their corporate work culture. So if you're going to lecture people on Reddit (which is so big and tough of you behind your silly little avatar) about how we're all cheaters, no offense, but f*** you.
I also think it's absurd that Amazon would just now start to crackdown on bots. Partially bc they know those of us who use them get paid and keep working for them. What probably happened is recently they may have noticed a surge in the amount of people getting above base pay, and much like online piracy, they crackdown on a few accounts, make an example out of those people, and they'll go right back to looking the other way once it's contained...
Amazon could easily write a script and prevent surges in pay to discourage bot usage. But they don't. All I've learned from getting this stupid email is now I'll have to be smarter about using the bot and I can no longer run it 24/7 anymore and I've already had people give me tips and pointers.
This was true for me at Amazon back when I was a driver for them at a DSP. They deliberately try to scare you into thinking you're going to get fired but then they never actually fire you. They'll be reminding us we could easily be replaced by people on a wait list. But go head! Cancel all surges, purge all "cheating" employees, and admit a fuck ton of people on the wait-list. So you just got rid of a bunch of formerly loyal employees and replaced them with people who are brand new and need to be trained. And they're seeing other courier apps openly offering $30 hourly gigs where no bot is required... And all the Karen's out in suburbia want their essential oils delivered to them same day. Have fun with that strategy, Amazon!
So I'm just gonna live my life the way I always have. Treating every job as temporary. Knowing each and every day, there's always more of us than there are of them. Stay classy, y'all and make that money, hustle and grind. Those r muh thoughts on the matter! ✌️

AITAH for not believing thaf my husband did not cheat Hi guys i am going thru a dilemma. I (25 F) and my husband (30 M) are both pakistani and live in gulf. we had our paper marriage aka Nikkah in 2017 and got married i.e., moved into his house in 2019. we've known each other since 2016 and this was a love marriage. my husband went against his parents wishes to get married to me whereas my family is very supportive of whatever choices i make during covid i moved into my parents house because of my 2 younger brothers 15 and 12 at that time as my parents got stuck in our home country for 6 months and my husband would spend 4 days with me and 4 days with his parents. i.e., peak covid lock down in 2020. since ive known my husband this is the first time i accidentally found out his phone password whereas he always insisted on having all of my social media passcodes in past. anyways i opened up his snapchat without any melicious intent of checking out his phone to get a few couple photos that we took on his phone and snapchat showed memories of last year of same date. it was with some filipinos (nothing against them but where i live they are usually considered as sex workers). i went and checked the old photos and i saw that he had pictures with alot of random women and specifically with his ex gf in year 2018. they both had taken alot of selfies from his sitting very close to each other in bars and even alone in car, again very close to each other in his arms. i also found out he was asking filipino their rates for sex works and he also met 1 of them in his car and went to meet one of in a mall during peak covid lockdown. anyways i didnt plan to talk to him about it because i was newly wed and didnt want to face consequences and i thought he might stop on his own. fast forward a few months later my parents came back safely and i moved back into my husbands house with his parents and this is the time when i first actually started living with them and with in a few weeks my FIL came to hit me with a shoe when i refused to give him my phone as a punishment for using it so often. anyways things started escalating alot and me and husband were having regular fights because of his parents always crossing boundaries. then one day we had a fight and in the heat of the moment i accidentaly said out about his affairs. so we talked about it and he said that he met his ex gf just like a freind as she came back from her home country after a long time and the he was asking for rates of filipinos for his single freind. when i asked about what did you do with the filipino you picked up in car he said that they just ate shawarmas by the sea side. i was naive and i bought into his narrative. even tho i agreed to believe in his story, the un easy feeling never left to the point where i refuse to have a child with him as i dont think i have a secure future with him. due to his parents bickering all the time i finally snapped back at them and they made a huge deal out of it and threw me out the house and me and my husb both went no contact for 1 whole year as i demanded for a seperate house even if i have face hunger. when did finally talk again he convinced me that this wont happen again from his parents side and he will start fulfilling my basic rights as a wife i.e., fulfil my basic needs, maintain peace, and protect. during this whole time my father was the one who fulfilled all my basic needs. anyways i moved back in with in end of 2021 and he did nit stay true to his word. he still picks out fights. his parents still shout scream at me occasionally and he only gives me bare minimum monthly allowance which is not enough for me and i still have to end up asking my father for money. please keep in mind i am a university student and my father pays for all car maintenance, university fees and essential needs. and the amount that my husband gives me usually goes out in just fuel and a few meals in university. anyways the point is that coming back to his house in 2021 till end of 2023 we used to constant fights mostly because of his anger issues and just generally being rude and in bad mood all the time. i had beg him crying to change his behaviour towards me and to be nicer to me when talks or else i will have no other option than to leave him. he did become nicer for 3 months until he started being rude again for over daily routine issues until his family was hit by huge crisis due to his younger brothers fault. thats when he bacame polite to me again. ‼️‼️‼️ my main dilemma. after all of these ups downs i really thought i was seeong some improvement in him and i was finally feeling optimistic about my future with him but i guess god has some other plans. he accidentally forgot to lock his phone last month and i found out he had been texting sex workers again and asking their prices. he was also in contact with a girl, lets call her J, via snapchat since 2021 till now and only few chats were saved in one which he was begging to convince her that i am not his wife rather his sister. apparently J saw me and husband out somewhere. i let all of this go again since i thought its pointless bring this up as things are now improving. 2 weeks after me finding out i get randomly get dick pic from my husband at 4 am when i was sleeping next to him and he was awake and came back from a night out with his freinds. when i woke up my husband was asleep,i found it very suspicious since we dont these kind of pictures anymore. he forgot to lock his phone again and LO AND BEHOLD he sent the same dick pic to her with me literally sleeping next to him. what fathoms me the most is that how could he not feel any shame with me laying next to him. anyways i talked about it a few days later and he basically told me that he was trying check J's loyalty for his freind. please keep in mind his freind is also married and has 3 4 kids. i asked my husband why did you do it for your freind when you shouldve understood it the first time i caught you and made a issue out of it and he said i thought that i would understand him doing all this for a freind and i shouldve specifically asked him stop doing it for his freinds if i have such issues. anyways a part of me wants to believe his bullshit story but a part of me knows that he is trying to manipulate me again as i cant even why a person who went against his parents wishes would literally go out of his way to ruin his marriage. does he want me to intiate the divorce so that he dosent get the blame. wtf is it i am so confused and i would most definitley will never have a child with a person who cheats. should i believe him or not. he keeps saying that he doesnot plan on leaving me or bringing a second wife is he expecting me to be ok with him cheating as long as i am not replaced.

He has also cheated on me before. I can’t leave, he provides for me financially and the d is really good… but it’s hard to forgive :/ it’s hard to make money my age to buy my own house (parents kicked me out) so I really just have to tolerate him

Mothers Day brings up the shitty memories as most holidays do, but I digress. I was talking to one of my coworkers and she was talking about her shitty dad who was abusive. Basically ended it by saying “but he’s still my dad and I love him so I take care of him.” I was like “welp, you’re a better person than me. I don’t care what happens to my mother.” She was shocked and went on about how no matter what she’s still my mom and how I only get one mom and blah blah blah.
And like, yeah. No need to remind me. That’s part of the problem. I only get one and she was shitty to me. She stole money from me and cheated on my dad. She lied to me and said my dad was a terrible person. She said anyone who knew the truth that she cheated was a liar and not to be trusted. Just in case she told everyone that I was a liar and weird and made up stories all the time. She made everything about her including my birthday (if she remembered it) which led to constant screaming matches between us. She made sure I never left the house. She left the house almost every night to party while I was at home taking care of my grandma with Alzheimer’s when I was 14. She put me and my sister against each other constantly. She gaslit me to the point where even after almost 3 years NC I don’t trust any memories I have and I’m terrified to tell stories of my life because people are going to think I’m lying.
She’s my mom and is the only one I get, and that’s how she treated me. So maybe I don’t even need a mom? Maybe I’m thriving without one. Maybe my step mom and best friends’ moms have been filling the role for me.
“But she’s your mom!” Yeah. And I’m her kid. She only gets one me. And that’s how she decided to treat me.

I (20f) and my ex (21m) broke up on my birthday kasi I found out he cheated on me again with the same girl (F18 na now not sure ano age niya before) from December 2022 (they were a situationship on 2020 after we ended our talking stage then after things ended with them, he courted me and we became a couple)
3 years kami. Almost a year couple then 2 and a half kaming live in due to my family situation kaya sa kanila na ako tumira. His family treated me like I was their daughter, pinaramdam nila sakin yung magulang talaga at di lang pera habol sakin katulad ng magulang ko. I love my family pero mukhang pera talaga sila, even my karampot na money sa gcash noon from my work when I was 17 pinapaopen para makita na di ako nagsisinungaling na wala akong pera + nambubugbog + baliw daw ako kasi suicidal ako.
(All of these things happened while live in kami) Ff, so we broke up September 2020 kasi nagsinungalinf siya sakin na marami sila sa reunion na kasama long term ex niya. Pinayagan ko siya kasi marami sila and may guys daw but yun pala is siya lang yung guy. Nagbeg ako sa kanya to work things out, told me he wanted space, asked me to do 3some while I was begging him to come back, found out he was communicating with the girl again, then I talked to guys and nakipagmeet up sa one guy (From January to March). Yes, I admit gumaganti lang ako sa kanya and using these guys for distraction and validation that I deserve better.
Ff, we became a couple again. This time we were trying to work things out na. I had an on-site job around May til Sept. Nalaman ko around July, they were talking pala nung girl January til April. Di ko alam. Talked to the girl and told her pag nag usap ulit sila let me know and she said yes and di niya daw alam na meron pa something samin. While ginagawa niya to ako pa tinatawag na cheater when he knew na nakikipagusap ako sa iba. Ff, birthday ko September, galing akong trabaho and sabi ko wag na magcelebrate and all kasi sayang lang, pero he surprised me and also his family, okay na okay kami not until nakita ko yung girl na nagcomment sa post niya.
I messaged the girl again, told me na sinabi sa kanya binubugbog ko daw kaya naawa daw siya and parang nabad impression, nag uusap sila sa IG and TG, also found out he had another IG na di ko alam (may other ig siya na ako lang may alam), and alam ng friends niya matagal na kaming wala, 2 friends lang niya may alam na kami pa, ako pinagkakalat na cheater and abuser (when he did this shit to me pa nga nung nakikipaghiwalay ako), found out they were talking nung kami pa, nag aya magmeetup, plan ng dates nila but sakin wala, iniistory yung girl sa isang ig, adik sa girls playing with themselves on tg. I NEVER CAME BACK but magkasama kami and he’s courting me kahit ayoko.
Around Nov, I found a guy. And we became a couple. On NYE, di ko pinansin ex ko. Nag usap na kami na aalis na ko kasi di ko narin kaya kasi mas nababaliw ako sa ginagawa niya. On NYE, I was already preparing myself kausapin family niya ans also sorted things out sa family ko na babalik narin ako. He wanted another chance after ng mga ginawa niya. I found his phone when he wasn’t around pinatago sa kapatid pero luckily binigay sakin ng kapatid niya, found out nakikipag usap na sa ibang babae when he was literally BEGGING me and telling me na magpapakamatay na siya (he always does this pag ayoko na). Found out he had a lot of F videos of girls and pov ng guys fucking those girls.
LAHAT NG CHEATING NIYA SINABI KO SA MOM AND DAD NIYA BUT THEY TOLD ME IT WAS FINE SINCE HE WASN’T MEETING THEM PERSONALLY. Pero it was my choice daw. Ang alam lang nila cheating ng anak nila, di yung pagtatangka pag ayoko na and pananakit sakin.
After I left, pinapagkalat parin kung ano ano, parang kasalanan ko pa nagkaroon ako bf.
Namiss ko lang din family niya and the way they treat me as their own. Pero now I just checked my FB account na friend ko sila yesterday lang but they unfriended me na now. Also nag greet ako ng HMD pero wala man lang pansin haha it hurts. Nagtiis ako sa ex ko because of them din kasi sila naging parents ko when I was there na walang hininging kung ano sakin.
Ang sakit lang sa part ko na parang ganito na. May bago narin naman ex ko, and parehas kami happy. Pero masakit lang talaga sa hahahaha.

Thraxas seems to be criminally obscure and underrated, so I thought I'd give it a shout. It's a mix of urban fantasy set in a high fantasy world, and a pulpy detective. Easy to read, short books, light, but not too light. It can be quite humorous at times, but I wouldn't classify it as comedic. If you enjoyed Garrett PI a great deal and wanted something similar - look no further. 12 books in total so far. It's semi-episodic, and the last book finishes an arc, so there's no real cliffhanger there.
Thraxas is a 40-something ex-senior investigator at the imperial palace who got booted due to having one drink too many at the wrong time. Now he's reduced to being a cheap private investigator who lives and operates out of a tavern in a poor part of the town near the harbour. Thraxas has an unlikely sidekick of sorts - Makri, who's a young quarter orc, quarter elf, half human woman, who had recently escaped orcish gladiator pits and has her eyes set on higher education, so she works as a barmaid to make money for the college (it makes more sense than it sounds like, trust me). The series is chiefly set in the city-state of Turai - it's extremely corrupt and it's currently plagued by a drug epidemic.
The book has lots of colourful characters - a disgraced sorcerer who got caught cheating while being in charge of keeping the chariot racing games honest, a creepy female assassin (according to Thraxas, anyway) who constantly keeps visiting Makri in the tavern, the city's most powerful sorceress is hopelessly addicted to a relatively mild drug which she takes to the next level by growing it herself via a special growing spell, and smoking copious amounts of it through a water pipe.
There's gambling, there's drinking, drugs, dead bodies, power hungry city officials, disgusting politics, riots, widespread corruption... But worry not, Thraxas, who is number one chariot at investigating (a self proclaimed one, admittedly), will not let you down. At least as long as he has copious amounts of food and beer in his belly.
Some shortcomings to keep in mind - like always, the first book is a little on the weaker side, however in this case I think the series gets into its stride straight from the second book. The last 4 books were self-published, and, unfortunately, have some proofreading issues. However, aside from this minor annoyance (and it depends on how you're sensitive to this sort of thing, it could be a non-issue to some), their overall quality on par with the rest. Likewise, the DIY look of the covers is a bit odd, but ultimately quite irrelevant, so don't be alarmed by that.

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I have gone through his phone and found folders apon folders of nudes, most from women over the legal age but some are from those who are under 18. He has photos of his own cousin's younger sister screenshotted from a bikini pic on her Instagram.... She was only 15/16 at the time. His girlfriend has told me he threatens her and has purposefully almost driven off a bridge with her in the car to scare her. The way he talks to her is awful. He cheats all the time, sometimes with what she tells me, even those under 18. Alot of the time they are only 17 but still. She is completely being brainwashed by him and is being mentally abused daily. She is scared to leave him, he wont leave her alone. He has filmed me having sex through the opposite side of the door and sent it around as a joke. I know how creepy he is an i do not believe it was for a joke. I need help, he needs to be in jail. My parents hold his hand with everything and would kick me out if they knew I actually knowingly reported him (since they don't think this is true). Listen I dont have money to live on my own, not to mention I have a disease that keeps me from working. I need to report this, at least the underage nudes, but I need to do it anonymously. do you think if I go to a library and send a tip in, it won't get back to me? I need him to leave. I can't live with him; when I am home alone with him, I refuse to shower. His presence ense makes me sick. I need help, and I can't let anyone else in my house know. There is so much more stuff, but I can imagine the police will only care about the underage girls ....
I did try one time to convince his girlfriend to leave him and go to the police, she ended up breaking up with him that night and telling him I talked to her. My dad lost it on me and told me to stay out of his relationship.... So unfortunate but she wont be of any help.

I (20nb) begged my partner (22nb) not to go to a recent furry convention, which they had heard about from an ex-friend. There were a lot of reasons for this. Some of them valid, some of them not. They constantly refused and told me they were their own person and couldn’t be told what to do. It must be added, they had been to conventions before (not this one) and I have never been to one in my life Eventually I gave in, but asked for some boundaries:
1) the con was on the opposite side of the country, so I asked for Life365 so I would know they hadn’t been abducted or harmed, and so I could watch where they were. They said yes, then no, then yes. But by the time they gave in again, I said no. Since I believed it would cause more problems.
2) avoid drugs and alcohol. I thought this was fair, since the only people they knew were from the internet. They refused, because they “would not be able to relax and have fun.”
3) tell me who they were rooming with. They did agree to this, but they only told me one of them, and this person is important later.
4) keep in regular contact. We normally did this anyways, but I wanted to continue for sure while they were gone. They said they’d try their best.
Now it should be mentioned, before they were made aware of this con, I suffered a concussion. Additionally, I have had money troubles, medicine problems, finals for college, and terrible sleep. To put it simply I have been exhausted and not in my right mind for the whole month of April. They haven’t been well either but it’s not my place to say why.
In any case, after weeks of stress and arguing, they parked their car at my house and I drove them to the airport. Eventually they got to the con, but I barely heard from them. I tried to reach out but received little to no response. Then, I opened twitter and was shown a video by their roommate, where for only a few seconds my partner was visible in a crop top.
This normally would not bother me but something in my brain snapped and I panicked and spam texted them that I wasn’t okay with any of this and they needed to stay in contact with me because we had agreed on it, and other paranoid things. I know this wasn’t the right response, but in the moment I was afraid and upset and jealous.
They texted me a couple hours later how it wasn’t okay and how they felt so awful they had to leave the room they were in to cry.
The next morning (unbeknownst to me) they cheated on me with two of their roommates. All I know is it didn’t get far, but they did kiss and my partner told them to stop after five minutes. After this, they texted me that we needed to have a serious conversation about my paranoia when they got back. At some point, they threw away their “engagement” bracelet
This was my wake up call, and so I dialed way back, and tried to stop prodding. I was friendly, but largely non-invasive. They sent me a picture with their roommates, saying the two were in a closed relationship and wouldn’t try anything.
The rest of the weekend went on, and I picked them up on Monday. They were flighty on the ride home, and when we got to my parents house they finally told me. I tried to be supportive and understanding, since I’d been led to believe it was a mistake, but I kept having emotional and mental breakdowns.
For the next two days they stayed here and I tried to help them. They said they did love me, but they didn’t know what they felt or wanted anymore. This hurt really bad. They were clearly unwell, any unrequested touch or question about the future would cause them to freak out. They would push me away and yell at me. I wanted them to go to a crisis center or the psych ward, and they flip flopped on this. Eventually I snapped and a shouting match ensued.
The important parts are: I no longer trust them, they are afraid of me and don’t know what to believe.
On their last day here, I tried to take them to the crisis center, but after an argument they demanded to go home, then to the crisis center. I drove them to the crisis center but they left. When we got back to my house the situation became real as we realized this was the end. We endured another shouting match. As they left, they told me I ruined sex for them, and that they seamlessly fell asleep in the other people’s arms. (They’ve always had a problem sleeping in mine.) and this made me sob.
They texted me a while ago to apologize for what they said, but I don’t know what to say or feel. I’m just hurt and exhausted and betrayed. I still love them, I want this to work, or at least I want to try one more time. I don’t want a bad month to end a good year.

I am at a hopeless rock bottom right now and it isn't making any sense to anyone, so I am going to try here. It is going to be a long one, so please bare with me.
I grew up in a family where love was limited and conditional, for myself and between my parents. I had watched my parents beg each other for the minimal respect, change, and genuine love. I had too begged for those things from them, in which I eventually developed this disorder.
I have struggled with the obsession of love/true love/soulmates my entire life. I have had countless favorite people, in which I would have given ANYTHING to be reciprocated the kind of love I was willing to give.
And in all of these endeavors, I acknowledged I do not love correctly. I realized this when I got out of my first relationship when I was 18. I have dedicated the last few years to unlearning these things. I still struggle with the want to control, the games I want to play, the general pull and push. I have been trying.
I have acknowledged that what I envisioned love in my head is wrong. Love isn't the constant fight for reassurance or the constant proving myself as worthy. It isn't the begging, fighting, or the challenge.
I have told myself for years, love is in the little things. Love is learning a song on the guitar cause they would love it, memorizing their order so you can surprise them, or bringing a jacket cause you know they would forget one. Love is the small laughs over inside jokes, the loud laughs over little fails, and the shared memories that were created on accident.
Love was supposed to be in the little things.
But over the last few months, I have been shown a dark side of it.
I was on a work trip.
One of my supervisors gave long speeches at dinner about his fiancé and how their wedding in June is going to be the best day of his life. That same night, we went out for a few drinks. He proceeded to send a few other girls and I messages about "spending the night with him." He went on the next day like it was a usual occurrence for him.
I was utterly disgusted. My gut sat in my stomach for days.
Another one of my supervisors on this trip did something some what similar. He is "happily" married to his wife of 17 years with young daughters. But as happy as this man is at home, he hit on every waitress, took up countless numbers, and would disappear for days at a time.
Again I was disgusted. I could've easily said this was the work of nasty people, but it got worse...
Once again, on this trip... one of my dear friends/coworker spoke about his plans to propose to his 5 year girlfriend. We were all beyond happy for him. But within the night, he made a closer relationship with another one of our close friends. He started confiding in her of his doubts, how he is not happy, and he doesn't know what else to do, but marry her anyway. He then dedicated the rest of this two week long work trip to his new found interest in his friend. He gave her a sweet little nick name, held her hand, and walked her to and from everywhere they went.
I was very dumbfounded by this information. I was under the impression that they were happy at home and that they had found something people prayed for, but I was wrong.
When I returned home, I received some also unsettling news.
One of my best friends found out she was pregnant by her boyfriend (who is a very very close friend of mine as well). I have known her boyfriend and his family for 10 years, they have been incredible and wonderful people to me and everyone I know. So for the last 7 months, I have watched them prepare for this baby. They are building a house together along with a life and family. She was so excited. But as of last week, she informed me of him entertaining random women online. She said he described it as a thing that didn't happen before and he did not know who she was.
But Saturday, her and I sat down and talked a lot about it. Turns out, he lied again. He had been seeing these women their ENTIRE relationship. They are having a baby and he is out there with "random women" who he has been seeing for years.
I thought I knew him better, but I am incredibly disappointed. This particular event has triggered me beyond belief. I had watched them do my healthier version of love for a long time, only to find out it was one sided.
I began to look at all the long term relationships that have been shown to me in my life. My parents, never have been happy. My aunt and uncle who have been together since they were 14, have one conversation a day about the coffee machine. My friends from high school, who went literal years of break ups and cheating to now hitting 6 years. My friends parents, who have cheated divorced and remarried several times. My other friends parents, who have been on the verge of divorce over small things several times. And now all of these...
I struggle with what is real and what is not. I struggle with trust, intimacy, and connection. But I have been trying to get better with the hope that one day I can be good to someone and they be good to me. I have never cared about money, a nice car, nor a large house. I want to love and be loved and raise a happy family in the healthiest way I can. All in the hopes that i can experience love in the little things, like how I imagined real love to look.
Now I don't know what love looks like. All of my ideas have been disproven. My dreams have been crushed. I am fighting the urge to recluse and regress in all of my efforts in vulnerability, but I am distraught.
I feel like love romantic love is not real anymore.
I am honestly taking this more towards men than women, because of my sexual orientation and just from personal trauma, but I know that I am not supposed to do that.
I am turning away from a connection I have been trying hard to sustain and be healthy in, all because I am triggered by the actions of other men, my fears, and my new found hopelessness in love.
And everyone I talk to says this quote I have heard a million times, "I know love exists because of the love I give." I understand that love is real, logically, but i want to experience it. I want to know what it feels like to love and be loved, equally and truly.
But is the pain and dishonesty truly worth it? Is it something I would have to put up with to experience long term?
How do I even begin to when given this example of modern day "commitment."
What do I do? Before I ruin the connection I am building. How do I let go of the fear of being hurt so I can learn to love?

Hi I'm 20F and this happened around 3 years ago. For proper context I will be explaining about my "friends" first. I'm sorry that this is a very longgghg one but I needed to get it out of my chest. Also forgive me for any grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language. I'll start with my 6 year long ex bestie Bee, in short she was a huge pick me. Since the beginning she used to insult me infront of boys to make herself look good. I didn't really realise it back then because I thought that's what friends do. She literally used to drag me around a bunch of boys and would call me fat, crooked legged and eagle nosed. Even my mom and my brother kept asking me to break the friendship but I was too afraid thinking I'll be alone. I always had her back though, she used to come to me crying if she's facing any issues in her life and I was there for her. I started my college around COVID time so the friends I made were through online meetings. Once we all met, we hit it off. It was really great!. My best friend in college was a guy named Shawn. We were really close and one day he came up to me and said "I like someone", me being me started investing who it could be. Then a girl named Penny from our friend group told me that Shawn had told her "someone likes you". I was like YESS I found it! And I did my part and now they are a couple. I was soo happy. After a month or so he came to me and said he wants to break up cuz she's too controlling and jealous and I took her side because I kinda understood her since he was still talking to his ex. It became too frequent though and I just told him do as you please. And one more important thing is her family is extremely strict like she can't even talk to a guy. So in college I used to sit in between them like they asked me to do that teachers don't doubt anything and complain to her parents. But the issue was I had to be around them the entire day and be ignored by them. I didn't mind at first but it got frustrating as time passed. I would try talking to them and they would just ignore me but they didn't want me to sit away from them either. The moment we walked out of college they would walk away from me leaving me alone. Next Anne and Chris. Mann are they messy. Anne had lots of boyfriends but we did not know it back then when we used to talk to her. Chris is a senior who proposed to Anne and she accepted it. One day a random guy texted me and asked me Anne's contact details and I refused to give it. He then sent me the photos of her kissing another guy. I blocked him and texted Anne about this and she accepted she was cheating on Chris. But Chris, Penny, Shawn and me were really close at this point. I told Chris about this and he confronted her, he said when she went to visit her hometown, she asked for a break and that's when the cheating happened and when she came back to City she dumped that guy from village and got back with Chris. Guess what, Anne went to Village again and she ghosted Chris. Chris started texting my then bestie Bee. I told both of them not to grow feelings towards eachother or to talk that much because I knew Chris only wanted to get back at Anne and whereas Bee would use Chris as timepass. I mean yeah it's their life but only I knew this about both of them. They were acting serious and both of them were my friends, i couldn't let them do this to eachother. Well they ignored me. They did complain about eachother a lottttt though and I gave the same advice to stop talking so much. Anne returned from her village and she got to know Chris is talking to Bee. She simply asked him to stop talking to Bee and he DID. He told Bee he doesn't want to talk to her and he texted me "I got my everything (Anne) so I don't need Bee anymore" Bee felt bad and I told her well atleast don't repeat it again because I know he will text you again and Anne will cheat on him again. In between all of this drama I met my boyfriend through a online game. I used to talk to him whenever Shawn and Penny were ignoring me and I stopped caring about them. And yes I had told them I felt very bad many times that they ignore me and for like 2 days when I was around them Penny would say "oh we should talk to her or she will feel bad" and then talk to me. It was embarrassing really. In short my boyfriend is a great guy who moved to my city. Mind you he was just 17 when he moved. He convinced his parents he needed to study in my City for ME. He made me realise how much more i deserved so I just stopped being bothered by my friends. I introduced all of them to eachother so they used to hang out without me as well. Penny asked Shawn to not to talk to me. Chris and Bee started talking again and Anne left Chris again. But both of them would constantly complain about eachother about how much they hate eachother. Another thing about Bee is the guys she was dating were usually my friends. Like I would introduce my friends to her and she would go snatch the boys up and would ask them not to talk to me. I didn't care because I wasn't attracted to those guys anyway. Once I told about my crush and she literally asked me "ask him to follow me hehe". I was like wtf no I can't ask him to do that. She followed him. He asked me "why is your friend following me and sent a message request" I told him the truth cuz I was just fed up with her. He blocked her lol. He told me not to have friends like her. Anyway she started texting my boyfriend as well. She used to say "when you come to City let's go out to eat, buy me that, buy me this blah blah blah". Little did she know I had his account and I knew she wasn't "busy" so she couldn't reply to me. She needed 2k because she borrowed it from her mom to give a random guy lol. He never returned it but she was crying so I asked my bf to lend her 1k for now. He told her "return to my gf in cash since my mom can see my transactions". She ghosted me after he gave her the money. I confronted Shawn and Penny. I told them I don't want to be their friend anymore because I was there for them always and whenever I texted them they would straight up ignore me. There were some rough words. I told Bee about this and I cried because I did share good moments with them. I also told her they are planning an outing for which they will invite Bee just to spite me and told her I'll feel very bad if u go. She went :). I just asked her to return the money asap and wanted to end it all. The thing is they hated eachother so why go and meet them when I am the one who is helping you when you are in need? Not just the money, I was standing up for her in so many occasions.
She said she can send the money online because she knew I can't say ok to that. I asked her cash she ignored me. I kept asking her decently. I got fed up and texted her mom asking the money and then Bee replied saying "don't act so cheap and text my mom" I'm like huh? If I'm cheap then what are you for taking the money and ghosting me? I told her I'm just asking what u owe me so give it. She said ik y you are asking, it's because I went out with them right, i didn't even know u would feel bad. I told her consider the money as charity and get lost. Blocked. Whereas Chris talked shit about my friend group so I fought with him and he said "you are a b'tch and you don't deserve anything". This happened before I broke friendship with Shawn and Penny and they never stood up for me. Shawn and Penny were beside me standing and seeing me arguing with Chris and said nothing. While the only reason I fought was for them. Funny because what happened later proved who deserves what. My boyfriend moved to City (nobody believed he would come). I topped my last 3 semesters(I was tutoring them during exams and wasted my time before. Now both of them were scoring Avg marks and Penny even cried in class after seeing her marks and mine). I got placed in a huge MNC Company (Chris being my senior was working as a janitor in a clinic, not to shame but just saying). Shawn and Penny apologised to me later on for talking to Bee after we broke out friendship because they realised the kind of person she is. Shawn also mentioned that she had asked him for money but he said no even though he had it lol. Chris and Bee were in a short toxic relationship until he dumped her again for Anne. Bee is also now with no real friends or no real boyfriend and was seeing hanging out with her sister on her bday(I used to take her to Cafes). I would have been with them if I hadn't met my Boyfriend. I don't regret the friendship because I did my part as much as I could. So AITA?