Havoc hailey money talk

First off-I'm thankful I have disability and the health coverage (albeit sometimes lacking) that I have. I'm thankful for the medications I'm able to be on and the doctors I have.
But I am terrified of staying here. Inflation is out of control, I can barely eat healthily and take care of all my bills and have a little set aside for treats for my dog and yarn to crochet with. I'm terrified that disability and social security is going to be cut to smithereens after the coming election. I'm terrified of what is happening and what this country is as a person who is dependant on others and the government.
My personal life doesn't help either, I have no parents and the only family in my life is toxic and detrimental to my mental well-being, constantly down-playing, ignoring or calling my troubles "a downer."
Then there's my best friend of many years who I have talked to every day constantly all day (literally) for almost 4 years. She lives in Canada. She came to spend 2 weeks with me on Feb and it was the most peaceful, joyful, easy time either of us had. We constantly talk about me moving there but I can't work. I have nothing to offer Canada, except maybe a small crochet business and maybe if I had enough spoons I could start streaming again-but that only brought in $50 a month bc I wasn't doing it for very long and stopped as I was building a little momentum. Not exactly beneficial to a country. I hate that I'm stuck here.
I can't even save to go visit her because if I save enough that would put that money and my monthly payment over $2k, I'd lose everything.
I've always wanted to live in another country, but now that I'm disabled, I feel like that chance is completely gone.
Every once in awhile I'll start researching all over again and hit the same walls. I don't understand how-or if-other disabled people do it.

My partner (in Ethiopia) and I (in the U.S.) own a very small tour company in Ethiopia. We take payment through PayPal.
My partner had a client recently whose total bill was about $10k. He paid us the money and then went back to Germany the next day...only, it turns out that he sent the $10k to the wrong PayPal account.
I've contacted PayPal—they won't redirect the money to me because I'm not actually involved in the transaction (from their perspective). My partner and I have been desperately trying to reach the client, who has responded only intermittently. PayPal tells me that the client has begun a dispute via his financial institution for the money he sent, but I have no proof of this and I don't know why he wouldn't tell us this when he has responded.
Anyone have any ideas about what other steps we can try to get our money?
(And yes, I've already talked to my partner about requiring desposits in the future.)

I'm a level 4 apprentice who works for a very large aerospace engineering company in England, at the start of my apprenticeship we were told we'd be on a new apprenticeship framework, a highly specialised level 4 standard as opposed to the traditional NVQ with bolt on HNC qualification.
Over the three years of the apprenticeship (we started in January 2020) it became clear to us apprentices that the standard was not fit for purpose, we were sent to college to sit in on multiple HNC and an HND class, completing all assignments and exams but since we were not enrolled on them we do not get any qualification from these. We could quite clearly see against the criteria for our standard that what we were learning was wrong and would not prepare us for the end point assessment (EPA), these concerns were raised even during our first year to our managers and we were totally ignored.
We also raised concerns that a standard by itself is an almost worthless qualification holding no real value other than providing a framework for the apprenticeship, we were repeatedly told that this is not the case and that it would be equivalent to an HNC however we can find no evidence to back this up, nor did they provide any.
We were the first year to run the qualification, the year below us was the final, the year below them were put on a much more general standard with a HNC bolt on with HND top up which to me moots any point about a standard being remotely equivalent to an HNC.
We even went as far as begging them to let us pay for the HNC's ourselves but they would not let us do this, they changed the HNC course we were following multiple times which would not have made this possible however none of the courses we studied were actually relevant to the learning we needed to pass the standard.
At this point please bear in mind the stress this placed on us, for three years we raised our concerns, genuine, serious, concerns we had that would have severe ramifications on our apprenticeships and careers and at every point we were met with "don't worry about it" "trust us it's under control" and other dismissive messages, at times it felt like we were imagining it and to say it affected our mental health is an understatement.
Fast forward to our EPA and it becomes instantly apparent that we have not imagined it, the point of contention is the multiple choice test (MCT), as soon as we get the spec everyone realised that we have not been even remotely prepared, in total we had 5 mock tests all of which we failed. It's not like we had gaps in our knowledge but rather that we had been taught entirely the wrong subject matter, to try and fix this they gave us a series of virtual lectures crammed into a space of 3 months before going through the EPA to make up for the 3 years of irrelevant teaching. We all passed the observation and professional discussion portions of the assessment but out of 16 apprentices in our year only 3 have passed the MCT.
Our employers are trying to get the MCT thrown out through appeals and other avenues going as far as speaking to members of parliment but frankly it's too late to fix this, if they'd taken our concerns seriously in the first place maybe they could have fixed it but it's too late now, our contracts have already been extended by 6 months and there's less than 2 months left.
Even if they do manage to get us this qualification the standard is virtually worthless by itself and we will be at a disadvantage to every other apprentice that has ever been or will ever go through through the apprenticeship program given that contrary to what they promised a standard is not equivalent to a HNC.
We're just a group of engineering apprentices and we don't know what to do from here, we all have jobs and are working in the company since January, we have these jobs regardless but we didn't sign up to an apprenticeship just for the job, we signed up to get qualified and they have failed to provide this qualification, many of us would like to leave the company on account of how we have been treated however we cannot because we have no recognised qualification, we are in essence trapped in this company until we gain enough experience to leave several years down the road.
Many of our colleagues in the workforce have suggested we find legal counsel but with the post apprenticeship pay some of us can barely make ends meet, we have involved the union and they were very helpful in getting us into the EPA however they seem reluctant to help towards and kind of settlement or legal action. Please don't think of this as some money grab, this company has wasted three years of our lives and most of us would genuinely consider them the worst three years of our lives, we can't help but feel like we've been wronged and most people in the company outside the early careers team agree.
Recently our apprentice manager was let go and on last day he confessed that he had been lying to us, telling us that the standard is an equivalent qualification when he knew it was not and that he only told us this to keep us from giving up, in effect gas lighting us for three and a half years straight in to believing we would come out of this as qualified engineers.
I'm guess I'm asking if someone who knows what they're talking about agrees with us, there are 16 of us in my year based across the country and another 15 in the year below who will soon be in the same position. Would we have a leg to stand on in a lawsuit and what would the best way to go about this be?

I was offered shares in my company after I became a fully vested employee, I purchased 18,000 shares for under $5K. I haven't worked for this company for the past several years and received notification that they were going public, which became official recently. I just checked my portfolio and saw my current shares at just over 3,000.
I had talked with someone in financing when they first made the decision to go public as we (those of us who had shares) had to sign a bunch of paperwork. The office manager said something about doing a reverse split but she said that it was a good thing as it would increase the values of our shares. I don't see how going from 18,000 shares down to 3,000 is a good thing when I paid (rounding up) $5K for 18,000 and it's not like they refunded me my $5k or the difference. Is this right? If I sell my shares (once the waiting period is over) I'll actually lose money from the original cost of the investment.

For context I had made a post on another sub with my situation which I have pasted here. If you wanna skip the story go ahead but it adds a lot of context:
My girlfriend of 6 years broke up with me out of the blue and had sex some random stranger not even two weeks after and now seems like she wants to get back together. I'm confused.
Me and my girlfriend have had a wonderful 6 year relationship. We communicated well, we both had great senses of humor, did almost everything together and had very good intimacy and romance. It was a very healthy relationship. Of course like all relationships there were some issues I was not perfect and neither was she but overall I would say it was a very healthy relationship with a very rare fight.
I apologize for giving so much context but I truly loved her with every fiber of my being and I still do. I have cried and cried and cried. My emotional state has been a wreck and the only thing that held me together was my family and I thank god for them. They were all just as shocked as I was when I broke the news that she broke up with me.
About 6 months ago I noticed some changes in my girlfriends behavior. She seemed to be emotionally unstable. During this 6 months I knew something was wrong and would ask maybe once a week what was going on with her. She would cry and tell me she's just been so stressed with school, her part time corporate job and her upcoming graduation from college. I am 1 year ahead of her so I completely understood where she was coming from or so I thought. I would give her advice tell her how I dealt with it and that it does get easier. It's a large transition and to not put so many high expectations on yourself and would hug her and tell her she would be more than fine. She has had past emotional turbulances over big life events and so did not expect it to last but of course still kept up with her making sure she was good. Even talked to my parents about it.
Then about 3 months before the breakup she would just start randomly crying in bed. Seemed like she wouldn't even look at me, never said “I love you” before leaving and whenever I had a family event she would abstain. Work for her was super stressful and school and combined with her already bad emotional state I figured she just needed some time for her and I was totally okay with that. What I did not appreciate was her not telling me she loved me anymore even if it had just been for a little. It made me feel weird. I told her that she was going through a lot and it was okay to need a little space or sometimes just be a little depressed but not telling me she loved me was hurting me. She agreed and apologized to me. At this time we were also looking for an apartment to move in together and had just got a nice little place. I was incredibly excited and so was she at first and then she just seemed to drop it altogether I had put the 1k security deposit down as she did not have the money but would have a full time job right after college and just told her to pay me half her first paycheck.
I think we can all see where this is going except I felt blindsided. About a month and a half ago she gets home from school and it looked like she had been crying. She said she wanted to break up but wasn't totally sure. I was shocked I asked her if everything was okay what the heck happened and she didn't really say much just that she needed time to think. I agreed. It was a Thursday. She said she was gonna take a whole week to think about it. Well it wasn't a week. That Sunday she gave me her decision in person.
She told me that she did not feel loved by me anymore. That the same spark we had at the beginning of our relationship was gone. I did not plan enough cute dates and things to do and she felt neglected. I didn't even fight anything she said I just listened in a state of shock. She said she also needed to find herself and that she was “young.” she also took a jab at my current job and made it seem like I was wasting my life away. It was my first full time job out of college and I haven't even been here a full year. I had zero plans to stay longer than two years. I begged her to not end the relationship. I asked if there WAS ANYTHING we could do. She said no I cried and held her and she just blankly stared crying too. I helped moved all her stuff out.
This is where I think I made a major mistake as she was leaving I asked her if she was COMPLETELY sure of her decision. She admitted she was unsure still. I explained that maybe we should give it a month. And if she wanted to talk in a month we could under the condition she was still faithful otherwise I would move on completely. I felt this was fair. I still love her very much and seeing her leave completely out of my life would break me.
We said goodbye and she left. I blocked her on everything. I had to otherwise I would texted her, called her and overall been more of wreck. The only thing I did not block her on was her email address as she said she was going to pay for the security deposit and in case she left anything she missed at my place.
I was good with it. Slowly moving with life still heartbroken and in shambles but moving on step at a time. Then out of nowhere about a week and a half after the break up i receive an email saying that she made a mistake and was a bad person and she missed me dearly. I admit I emailed back but then I received another email before I could finish saying to “disregard” what she said. I was mad as all hell and sent back an email telling her to stop fucking with my emotions and to not talk to me until the end of the month in person like we planned. She never responded.
The end of the month comes around. I unblocked her number and texted her to get my answer about talking in person and perhaps getting back together as previously planned. I was expecting a no and had already come to terms with it but she had texted back that she still wanted to talk in person. We had more conversations through text and it was going well. She seemed like she missed talking to me and admitted that she did not appreciate me enough and now saw that I did love her just in my own way.
I thanked her for what she said and also explained that I could have been better in some areas too. It was going great and we talked again like we used to for about 2 days. We were gonna pick a date to talk and she wanted it to be a little later since her finals were finishing up. I agreed but I asked the question that was eating me.
Did she see anyone else?
She admitted to me she did a random man at a bar. They had sex. (for context she was my first and I hers) and it broke me. It fucking broke my ego. It broke my mental state all over again. She apologized profusely and said it was an awful experience and she felt used and disgusted by her actions and that she couldn't even hold off for one month to give me fair closure. I came home from work that day and went into a rage. A rage I have never experienced. I destroyed memories. Crying like a kid who experienced their first broke bone. I couldn't believe it. Not even two weeks after our relationship she fucked somebody else and couldn't even hold out 1 month. It shattered my image of her. I felt Petty for caring so much but loyalty is important to me. Always has been and she knew that.
But she said she also wants to make this work and still talk in person. I agreed to the in person meeting as I have questions now. But I don't know to do. My rage passed and now I am just confused. I talked to my dad about it and he said I need to move on she showed her true colors. But at the same time I feel petty and like I could see past this if she really did regret it. I'm torn on what to do. I want to move on with my life and leave it at that. But I also still love her deeply. I'm broken mostly at the end of the day. I don't know what to do.
Anyways now that the story is over aka my life I think she cheated and if she didn’t cheat she was emotionally cheating. Personally I find the whole “random guy at a bar” story to be completely asinine and downright insane. Even if this is somehow actually true there’s a pretty good chance it isn’t and considering she’s already broken up with me and I have no intentions of getting back together I could care less if she actually tells me. But all the signs are there. I believe my GF broke up with me after some guy started giving her attention and may have been emotionally cheating on me and finally did the deed after we broke up (not even 2 weeks after mind you she had sex with this guy.) I pushed the day to talk in person back a bit more as I felt I was mentally wasn’t ready and I am not flaking out this time. Any suggestions on what to ask or say to get it out of her and get the truth?

This is a long story and if you do read through it and can offer advice it would be greatly appreciated.
I can't find too much if anything similar to my experience. I'm wondering if anyone heard about this and any advice?
About 6 months ago I got a call on my phone from RBC on the call display. It was spoofed but I didn't know it. The person on the phone asked me if I used my debit card to purchase an iphone in Ontario. I said no, and he said it's not a problem these things happen all the time, they will cancel the purchase and send me a new card.
This is not too out of the ordinary for me as I had my credit card have unauthorized purchases several times in the past. The weird thing was this time it was a debit card.
Then he said he can not ask my debit card number but a recording will follow and I should key in my debit card number. This was my major mistake. I know never to give a credit card number, PIN or password but for some reason I never thought of my debit card number to be a major issue. Like what if I lost it?
Anyway after I did that he came back and I asked him to mail the new one to my bank. He said no he would mail it to my home and told me my very old address. I told him no, it's unacceptable mail it to my bank branch like always. He then hung up on me. I didn't give any other info.
Minutes later I got an email from RBC saying my password has been changed! Then another saying my email has been changed. I quickly tried to login and couldn't so I called RBC Security.
As I was talking my email inbox got 1000's of email newsletter sign up confirmations per hour. About 12 000 in total by the next morning. It's a business email so it ruined everything and I couldn't find legit emails but that's besides the point.
The goal of doing that is because it was their hopes I would not see the emails from RBC.....but lucky they came first. it's called a Spam Bomb.
RBC Security said they would help me change my password back and I was able to reset it. Only minutes later while still on the phone....I had logged out and then tried to log back in....And he said this is strange. he put me on hold. He said there was someone on another call with the call centre claiming to be me and getting the password changed! He somehow was passing all the authentication and fooling the agent into changing the password.
So he put a block on the account meaning nobody can call in. Not even me. No passwords or access codes, nothing. The only way I could deal with RBC is going into the branch.
No money went missing. I guess I caught it just in time. Nothing was changed in my accounts. But I still cancelled all my credit cards and got new ones. And I got new account numbers for my bank accounts.
As I had to do this at the branch it took several visits and anytime I needed to ask a question Id have to go in person. I changed my phone number and even to do this in the back end systems beyond online banking I had to make an appointment. Fun fact RBC has to wait on hold forever also, no special access lines.
After changing my accounts I changed my phone number because they kept calling back. Changing your phone number nowadays is a major undertaking as I have 100's of websites many with 2 factor auth that I had to change. I also changed all my passwords unique without any matching.
After all this....I travelled to Japan. In fact I travel 6 months of the year to many countries. I decided to log into my online banking using a VPN. Big mistake. The system thought I was fraud and it locked me out. And I can't call! Luckily I have an account manager who knows me well and we could verify that way but most people don't have this.
Another time my debit cards weren't working anywhere in The Philippines and I couldn't call in. It was Christmas and my account manager wasn't available for 4 days. I had no cash. What a disaster.
So when I got home....I had to take this call block off. It's just not working. It had already been 2.5 months and my computer was factory reset, I purchased a new phone. I had really done everything I could.
I travelled to several countries and no problems, everything is working normal and perfect.
I take security very seriously to the point of paranoia. And I also know all the scams. I don't get fooled easily and used to have a hobby to mess with the scammers heads. But even this I don't do anymore because they probably put me on some sort of list or something.
Since then Ive been very private.
Then yesterday....I get an email saying my email has been changed. Lucky no spam bomb. I tried to log into RBC and it didn't say wrong password, it said account it locked.
I called RBC Security and they said I need to go into the branch with ID and they wouldn't talk to me.
I did so. They said someone called in and passed the verification. And convinced RBC to reset my password for them. This is infuriating because there are notes saying that I am a victim of account take over and to proceed with caution.
Again no money is missing but I need to change all my accounts and cards again. And I'm leaving to Africa in a few weeks.
I now have that call block on the system and can't release it otherwise the scammers will just call back and convince RBC to change my password again. What can I do about this?
I had the idea to change my debit card number. They will change the account numbers and credit card numbers but not the debit card number. Changing this number I think will solve all my problems. But no matter how far I escalated this. They won't do it. Not a chance. To me it seems the most logical way to start fresh as they are using that info to the agent.
So I opened a new account with another bank. I'll use this as a travel account and fund it with what I need. But with RBC I have many investment accounts, business accounts, several high end credit cards. You name it. And TD banks credit card for travel doesn't seem to match the power of RBC Avion which I accumulate tons of points with my business. Which is why I can travel so much! So in other words it's not easy to switch.
But anyway Does anyone know how they are passing the authentication so easy? Nobody knows my 3 secret phrases. Not even my wife. RBC usually have voice authentication, I guess that failed. Or they recorded me?
And also the hacker originally repeated my old address but I never gave a new one. When I do call RBC they usually ask my address and things about my account that I am likely only to know. It's so strange.
How can I get out of this mess?
Does anyone have any success having their physical debit card number changed? Any other advice?
I feel one day if this keeps happening I could be out money.
Would I be protected and refunded?
While I admit I did get fooled into giving my debit card number it wasn't my pin or password and they were the ones who tricked RBC over and over. And Ive taken all reasonable preacuations to secure my account since then.
However having this severely restricted account where I can't call in and since I travel 6 months per year as you can imagine I can't do this long term.
if you read this far thanks so much for reading, Any advice is appreciated!

I don’t like to talk about my child hood in part because it was very traumatic and I feel ashamed that I wasn’t somehow smarter or realized sooner. But I also don’t talk about it because I respected my biological mother at least. My father I can’t even bare to think about with out either being consumed with rage or panic. My mother was someone I thought could be better but every chance she gets she proves me wrong.
So fuck it, if you think I’m a liar then there’s no problem in me talking. If it’s all in my head that should be easy enough to prove.
The first few times you stayed quiet I forgave you, I thought you must be so scared if you won’t stop him or say anything. I still can’t think about myself because you never left me any room.
After the first few years I thought it was my fault. I knew you knew by then, I faked being happy but how could you ignore empty sheets for so long? Then I’d think about everything I should have done and how I’ll do it next time only to continue to pretend to sleep like every other night. I thought there had to be something wrong with me for you to let this go on, and at six you sold me for a six pack of white claws and then took me away. I walked back home and you never acknowledged I was ever gone. I never said anything and wondered if I should.
After I turned 16 I decided I hated you just as much as I hated him. You accused me of making him cheat on you with me in one of your drunken rants. I thought you were disgusting but i pitied you, I thought you couldn’t possibly want this life? How anyone wanna live the way we do? I remember a time when you could cook and parts wouldn’t come out raw. I became your errand boy but I didn’t care anything to be out of the house. Going anywhere to be somewhere I felt like I could relax.
At 18 when I ran away, I cried for you. You act like when I left I was giddy? I remember shaking as I wrote my note (thought I’d be able to cut you off then of course it didn’t end that way.), I remember sobbing and shaking with fear. I remember the threats and seeing your dead eyes as you said you loved me. You’re a where I learned how to pick up a lie so well, you acted liked I couldn’t hear you but I heard every word.
I’m 20 and I don’t really know how I feel now. I hate her but I think she’s an idiot. She can’t say what she does and think I’d ever want to go back? She offers money and vacations and this easy life but I know it’s all a lie. The thing is back before I had felt the real thing that trick would have worked on me. I didn’t know what the real thing felt like so even though I knew it was fake love I thought it was the best I could hope for.
Now I have my momma, she is the first woman to ever make me feel safe and I am so grateful to her. I’d never felt motherly love till I was adopted by her, she held me and told me I was safe and I was. You never did that, you didn’t even hold me.
So please leave me the fuck alone I’m not your kid

Throwaway for obvious reasons. TW: Suicide. So some context. I work/worked (recently submitted my two weeks) at a very high end gunshop. I typically dealt with higher end items and collector grade pieces. The people on the sales floor were very busy and I was called in as back up. I usually enjoyed when that happened to due to me not needing to hit a sales quota and can take my time with new customers, ensuring to answer any and all questions and generally be as approachable as possible as I am (was) very passionate about the sport/hobby. I have been in this industry for almost 10 years now and generally enjoyed it. Anyway, she came in looking like a deer in headlights, not an uncommon thing to see in a gunshop. One of my guys asked me if i could work with her due to everyone else being tied up. No worries, I love working with people, especially those new to firearms.
We spent a good 45 minuets to an hour going over options and pricing. She finally settled on a .22 caliber handgun and i knocked off some money on the ammo. For all intents and purposes allow me to reiterate that I have been in this industry for almost 10 years. I do my due diligence. I know which questions to ask and how to ask them. Besides, we spent a fair amount of time together. I asked her why she got into shooting. Her resposone was that several of her friends got firearms during 2020 and she wanted to learn more/target shoot with her friends. Seems pretty reasonable enough. General small talk, where she went to college and things like that since we were the same age. She even pointed out a typo in a massive display sign. I didnt see/feel any red flags. Pretty typical sale, nothing stuck out to me. She filled out the paper work, I ran her background check and she got an instant proceed. (For those that dont know, the background checks are run through an FBI database and they give you one of three answers. 1. Proceed 2. Delay 3. Deny.) I ring up the sale, and wrote my personal contact info and the contact info of a local trainer I have good rapport with. She paid, thanked me and left.
The following morning I came in as per usual, and was prepping for my day. I get paged to come to the office as there were local PD that wanted to speak to me. PD: "Are you employee #?" M: "yeah, why?" PD: "Did you sell any [insert brand] yesterday?" M: "Youre going to have to narrow that down" PD: "[This brand] .22 LR?" M: "okay, yea [Insert the transaction details here.]" PD: "anything seem odd about that sale?" M: "honestly, no. Pretty friendly customer, very kind. Standard sale." M: "Am I in any sort of trouble?" PD: "No, we recovered the firearm at a crime scene and needed to determine if it was a homicide or not" M: "is [insert customer name] okay?" PD: "well we found her body and just wanted to follow up. Thanks have a good day"
Im going to be completely honest, after the PD left and I was alone, I broke down. Ive have had several friends over the years "check out early" to the point where I swore I'd never go to another funeral for someone my age or younger than me again. I know that pain. I know it all too well.
I hate to say, this isnt a first. Its somewhat par for the course in this industry, but she immediately took her life after the transaction. Usually, these type of things (PD involvement) are a simple phone call asking for the paperwork. I cant help to feel like I failed. Like I failed to catch something or notice something or maybe I didnt ask the right questions or not enough questions. Was there anything I could have done different? This felt personal to me. I hardly knew anything about her other than where she went to school and that she majored in English and had a keen eye for grammatical typos. I do know that she was kind. This fucking hurt. It has been over a year since this occurred and it still keeps me up at night some nights.
If you have read this far, I appreciate you giving me the space to vent. With all of my rambling concluded, I want to leave you with this: You never know what people are going through, be kind. If you or anyone in your life are showing signs of need support, I beg you, please reach out. The number here in the US is: 988
Please dont feel any any shame reaching out, Id rather you reach out than not be here. This chance meeting is one that I will carry with me for a long time.

Sometimes I see micro (AKA midget but I don't know if that's offensive) wrestlers pop up on my feeds and more often than not I'm genuinely entertained. It's nice to see that they can make money doing what they love but it made me think would it be possible for a major American promotion to have a division? Not asking would it be easy or even should anybody do it but does anybody think it would be possible to make this work? Like an entire micro division that's given time on most shows. Not that there can't be comedy of course since many micros have hilarious gimmicks.
You can't really have micro wrestlers compete against normal sized wrestlers (or can you?) but at the same time is there really no place for them in a major promotion? I hate to think that they can't work in these places just because they were born short. I get that that's just how life works sometimes but a lot of micro wrestlers are really talented so I feel like it would be nice if they had a chance to make big money and I know that a live crowd could always get into it as something different. I know we had El Torito and especially Hornswoggle did really well as exceptions but even then they were mostly treated as jokes although Hornswoggle in particular is in fact a very funny guy. Hornswoggle was very over and memorable so it's definitely possible somebody else could get over too if given the chance.
Vanilla midget jokes about some wrestlers are inevitable but seriously what do you think? There's loads of talented people in WWE and AEW that don't get TV time as it is and I get that it would be a challenge to see the same ability in a normal sized ring so I'm not saying any company has to do it but I think it could definitely work and I think it's something we should at least talk about.
JUST LOOKED UP WWE's JUNIOR DIVISION. I wanted to see if anybody had asked this question before and found the WWE JR division. I have no memory of this whatsoever but it was treated as a complete joke 20 years ago so I think it's valid to bring the question up again.

Hi I’m a [20F] and my bf is [21M] and we have talked about going on a trip this summer to Texas. My boyfriend family has invited us to come out there and visit them and while we’re out there we are planning on doing different events like bowling, six flags etc…fun right?? So my bf and I have been planning out where we’re going to go, what we’re going to do and we plan on staying at his family house while we’re out there to save money.
The only bad part about this is my mother. My mom is very religious and holy (i would say she’s very extremely holy) where she feels like “you shouldn’t go on a vacation/trip with your boyfriend unless you guys are “married” and if you do that you are “sinning”. She also says stuff like “You can’t sleep in the same bed with your partner unless you are married” etc…
With this trip I am planning on telling her ONCE me and my bf buy the flight tickets and it’s official. But the problem is I do not know how to approach her about it nor what to say. I know it’s crazy that I have mild anxiety telling her but she’s really crazy religious and her words are always crazy. How should I approach her about this and what should I say?

Hi there
I need some advice regarding a problem that has been getting worse the last couple of months. Please excuse my English as it’s not my 1st language.
Some context: Wife and I have been married for 5 years now, we recently relocated and moved back-in with her parents until we find a place to stay. Ideally, we would like to buy a house therefore our initial thinking was that we will just stay at her parents’ house until we find a suitable place. Its not a money problem – we can afford to rent a place. Its more a case of we don’t want to rent a place for 2 months and then move again once we find a house that we like.
My wife has always had an extremely close relationship with her parents and we’ve talked about this numerous times - she shares details with her parents that I really don’t approve of. I feels like I am 2nd in line behind her parents and that I am in fact married to not only my wife but her parents as well We've managed this part the last 5 years since we were some distance away which helped - but now since we are back its really causing problems again. Ive shared this with her multiple times that it really breaks the trust in our relationship when she involves them in almost anything.
We've been fighting the last couple of days and immediately she involves her parents to mediate the fight - which in my mind is totally unacceptable. This is really painful for me as even after we’ve made up and moved on I still feel betrayed and feel like I can’t trust her.
My suggestion to her was that we need to speak to a professional that can assist. Of course, she does not want to do that and says it will be a waste of money. (of course, parents once again involved saying to her that we should not...)
In my mind I have the following options.
1. Move out immediately and rent a place to create some space between us and parents, whilst trying to speak to her alone and understand my perspective.
2. Seek professional help (I’m at the point where I’m thinking of giving her an ultimatum: Professional help for us both or I Walk)
Any advice would be greatly appreciated

Hello,
My father passed away, but had a pension that was to go to my mother when he passed. He worked very hard for 40 years for a large pharmaceutical company and took less out of his pension when he reitred so that my Mother would still receive some funds upon his death.
We unfortunately lost the file with the paperwork he signed in the 2017 Nuns fire, but we know Fidelity must have a copy.
Now we have been trying to gain access to the plan he signed up for and what my mother is to receive - but ever since they got his death certificate 6 months they absolutely will not talk to us. They even went into his bank account the money was going into and drew out money without notice. Then they randomly put it back like 2 weeks later - none of this was done with any notice either in writing or phone.
We do have an attorney involved now and are working to escalate the case. It feels very much like fraud, elder abuse and ... well just NOT legal. For six months we have been given multiple "case" numbers and multiple "case" managers that do not call back. They are just trying to get us to give up and leave the money with them, but we will not.
How are they able to get away with this? This is money my father put into his pension for decades.
Our lawyer thinks it may be a lost cause as they are such a huge company - and even trying to get an address out of them to serve them to claim documents is impossible. How is this company allowed to do this? It seems extremely fraudulent.
Anyone else going through this with fidelity'? If so - lets join forces.

(Heads up, this is a long one as the background is a lot.)
I (22 F) was invited to my friend's baby shower. For fear and to protect myself due to past trauma, let's name her H. H was my friend since middle school. In high school, she dated G and now they are married and are expecting a baby.
Here's some background info. Before H and G started dating, H, our friends, and I found G and his group of friends annoying. All through high school, G and his group kept making fun of me and annoying me just because they had tried to set me up with one of G's friends, who I kept rejecting. (As a 1st gen, my family had me involved in school and I did after-school activities so I could get into good colleges in the future. I focused on school, and I didn't have much time for friends, much less for a guy. I also didn't want a relationship due to a past event.) Well, even after G's friend took the hit, his group wouldn’t leave me alone. My family is fairly known, so everyone knew where we lived. G's group would annoy me at school, which included classes we might’ve had in common, being in the same building, finding me before or after school, and would even drive by my home yelling "That's my girlfriend" at the top of their lungs. H was part of my friend group and she agreed that the guys were being childish and our friend group basically called it harassment. Many times, G's group actually got me in trouble with my parents. My parents would believe them if the group yelled outside the house. The group also called me out on social media once and when I stood up for myself, my family told me to delete what I had commented as they didn't want their perfect girl to be involved in drama. (In my opinion, I don’t think my parents wanted their friends to see the colorful language I used.)
Sometime later, H tells our group that she started dating G. They had ups and downs in the relationship. G cheated, he wasn't winning over H's family and wouldn't put her first in some situations. While they were dating, G and his group kept messing with me. When a friend and I planned lunches with H, the plans would automatically involve G last minute, to which my friend and I decided to stay on campus rather than to go with the "happy couple." My friends and I were convinced we would lose H eventually, which little by little, we did. She tried to convince us that G was changing and was trying to change to win over her parents. According to H, G even started staying after school to talk to teachers to get his grades up. None of us actually believed it as the teasing still continued.
Well, since graduation, I haven't spoken to H, or even texted. You know how it is, you go to college, friends grow distant, and because of assignments, there's rarely any time to hang out with anyone. Before H was married, my family and I would invite her to parties. Now this is where this rule might be an A-Hole move. A rule my family follows is that if you’re invited to an event, but don't show up, you are no longer invited to any other events. I always hated this rule because sometimes things happen. The thing is, with H, she always confirms she'll show up, but never does. I didn't invite her anymore after she didn't show up to any event in 2 years as I began to think I lost a friend as with many others. Well, my mother has actually continued to invite H, even after she was married. H continues with the same routine, confirms but doesn't show. I've told the friends I've made through work and college that I fear that one day H might actually show up to an event with her husband and that the same thing as high school might happen again. My friends tell me that since they actually show up, if anything happens, they'll be there to support me as they know I've changed and see I've become more of a bad b. They say that I shouldn't worry because I'm no longer that shy girl, and that I'm no longer defenseless. My friends have also accompanied me on my healing journey as they know I’ve been going to counseling to get over all this trauma as well as other past events.
Now, for the invite. I'll be honest, I didn't know H was married until she changed her status on social media. Yes, we still follow each other. I didn't think she would’ve ended up with G after everything that happened in their relationship. Months later, maternity pictures were on her page. Sometime later, I got an invite to the baby shower. Now, I know baby shower rules run differently. In Hispanic families, 99% of the time, men are welcome to celebrate as well and it’s not women only. With this, I discussed with my family that I don't want to go because H will have her husband there and G still has his group of friends from what other friends have told me. My mother and sister called me selfish for not going to the party and still living in the past. I told them I understood their point of view, but I told them I didn't want to go to a party where I'd feel uncomfortable. My sister started saying that I was H's friend and that I should be there for her. I then asked her that question about H, stating "Okay then when has she been here for me? She hasn't been to a party or gathering in years when this is the first time she invites me." My sister became silent and went to her room. Later that night, my mom and sister tried to talk to me again. I said no. I told them they could go without me. To make things worse, my family still paints me as the villain. They know I went to counseling, but stopped due to school and work hours. They knew I was basically bullied and harassed at school, and with college and work, I’m also sleep deprived and my health has become a difficult situation in these last few years. My family told me to go as I would want H to show up for me. But here's the thing, she hasn't shown up for me at all. Any question my family tried to throw at me, I threw it back as if they were asking H about me. (Let’s say dinner was silent that night.)
I spoke to my friends and told them everything that had been going on. They agreed that I shouldn't go as they know I'm not ready to see H or G. They told me that if I was going to be uncomfortable, I shouldn't go. Since they knew about my mental journey, they reminded me that my counselor told me to take things slowly. They said that if I decide to go, to contact our group, and that some of them will accompany me to the baby shower to make sure I stay safe. I thanked them for that and I told them I would update them if anything happened. I asked my grandmother as I wanted the point of view of someone with more life experience. Even she told me not to go and let my mother and sister go alone. She told me that if I'm uncomfortable, she sees no point in siding with her daughter (my mom) when she'd rather protect me, her granddaughter. I did tell her my friends’ plan. She liked it. My grandmother also knows that because of this situation, my blood pressure might get high again. She told me that if I go with my friends, to take my medication and to tell my friends where I’ll have it in case things go wrong, as she fears I might get a panic attack (I’ve only had one) and she trusts my friends as she’s met them (before my parents). (I don’t take my medication every day as it makes me sleepy, tired, or dizzy. I also don’t take it if there’s a party so I can drink alcohol if I choose to.)
I know that some might think I'm punishing my friend for something she technically had no control over as people marry who they want and she wasn’t part of the bullying, but I don't want to be at the baby shower and risk getting made fun off again by her husband and his friends. I also find baby showers boring. Some might think that I’m holding on to a grudge, but this harassment causes fear as I had also been through worse bullying experiences when I was a child. (I was bullied from 5th grade for being small, all through middle school for being small, people thinking I had money (when I didn’t), having a rolling backpack due to back problems, and then harassed by G’s group in high school.) I don’t know what to do as my mother and sister are still pressuring me. My friends have considered taking me out on the day of the baby shower. They know my family wants me to go out with friends more, so my friends plan on telling my family that it’s a “graduation celebration” before the actual graduation party scheduled a week later since some “won’t make it” ha ha. My friends are truly amazing! I am willing to accept judgment, but I need insight. AITA for not going to the baby shower?
PS: Will probably give an update after the baby shower date. I don’t use my computer much since it’s partially broken.

For context I'm a 25(f) and I live in Australia with my Grandmother and my Mum. I'm really fortunate in the fact that I don't have to pay too much rent and I'm living in a little shack at the back of the house. My wife is a 26(f) who is American and stuck overseas and we've been apart for some time trying to organise visas. I had originally planned to move over there but there have been immigration delays, and now my wife is planning to come to Australia. The visa for Aus is quite expensive. And despite not having to pay much rent, I work in childcare and don't earn very much money and need to pay for therapy and groceries etc. It's been tough with this cost of living crisis. I have been struggling to find a higher paying job and with HECS debts for uni going up and not being able to afford higher education. I'm in a tough spot. Now, my relationship with my Dad is interesting. He was emotionally abusive growing up and I have a lot of trauma from him, which was exacerbated from living with him and his wife for two years in my early twenties. They've had a history of not being particularly nice to me to put it lightly and favouring her biological children. Now my Dad is a pilot and makes very good money and so does his wife. They own five properties and do well for themselves. They even bought my step sister a house. Now, when I was in my teens my Dad bought an apartment and he promised me that when he sold it, the money would go to me so that I could help support myself financially and potentially buy my own home. Which is a dream for so many young people. Now last year my Dad and his wife decided to buy another home and tore it down to build over it. They've been so distracted by this build that they didn't make it to my wedding and forgot to tell me they weren't coming much to my horror. I was beyond upset but not surprised as he's missed countless things throughout my life including musicals I've been in, my own formal, my high school graduation. So no surprises there.
Anyway, recently my Dad told me that they planned on selling the apartment and using all the money on building this "dream home" as they refer to it. I've been in shock about it for a few weeks now and don't know what to make of this. I'm hurt all over again. My Dad knows I have been struggling financially for some time and emotionally especially being apart from my wife. I messaged my Dad and told him that he's selfish and that he should give me some of the funds from the property sale as promised to at least go towards my wife's visa. He's ignored my message and doesn't want to talk about this.
Was I too harsh on him? Or not harsh enough? Because to me it felt justified to call him out on his behaviour. But there is also so much going on in the world and this feels like such a capitalistic white woman problem. But I'm mad. What do you think?

It’s been difficult being a meth addict and drug dealer that didn’t want to get sober at all or stop selling for the last 8 years. Then I lost who I was once the Alcohol and Fentanyl took over.
Eventually, The passing of my wife, the suicide attempts, the violence and hardcore alcoholism to Fentanyl. Being evicted, hated waking up every morning and dope sick everyday. Whole paychecks on drugs. Being homeless wandering the streets trying to steal copper from light poles. Losing jobs after 3 days because I would be sick and couldn’t finish my shift. Realizing my family was mourning me while I was still alive. My rock bottom.
January 27th 2024
My life changed when I found AA. I had just gotten out of Detox 1st time visiting. Left a day early and then the withdrawal symptoms creeped in later that evening. My first meeting I was going through it. I stuck it out and continued going to meetings. I didn’t sleep much or if at all for 3 weeks. Not sure how I did that still.
Lately I struggle every morning to wake up or motivate my dopamine deprived brain. Difficult to navigate life when the reward system up there is fighting against me. My character defects had sometime to develop and hardwire into my personality and subconscious. I would say the things I find most difficult is keeping up with my laundry, thinking too much and negative self talk. Pity party’s that my inner dialogue invite me too..
Simple program? I can make it more difficult.
Having willingness along with rigorous honesty.
Holding myself accountable and having the courage to change certain things about myself helps me. Helping others caring about people. I used to care I thought but I always had an agenda driving that ounce of give a fuck.
Here in the right now that is gone I can love from the heart which I am grateful for. I can now look at my day at night and take a personal inventory of what I could’ve done better. I find that I’m always the problem no matter what anyone does. If I’m angry or upset I think about If I have been self seeking, dishonest and inconsiderate.
How it’s going, I’m onto my second Sponsor. Started going through the Big Book. Planning to go through the Steps again. Got myself into College and I work with one of my fellows. My license was reinstated and I’ve been able to hang my bicycle up finally after 8 years. I am able to pay my bills now and make money legally. My family feels whole again. I have a home group and a service position. I reach out I have grown to love strangers. I have found a higher power of my own understanding. I get to be a Father to my 11yr old son. Admitting the deepest darkest secrets of my past. Being willing to make amends for the harms done. I still struggle every step of the way. I have tools and know that there’s a way better alternative to active addiction. For all of this I’m filled with gratitude today.

Trapping everyone in a dream is certainly framed badly in the quest but is it really that bad? Well the arguments are:

• Sunday is forcing everyone asleep and they won’t be able to wake up and make their own choices :(
• the dreamscape is just escapism :(

Alright well for the first point it’s not really as bad as it sounds. First of all people came to Penacony for the dreamscape of their own free will and from the conversations with Robin right before the meeting with the dream master we know they have no intention of leaving the dreamscape. This isn’t just those three people either because it’s stated that Ena’s dream is maintained by the collective will of everyone on Penacony. So if everyone except the main cast chose to come to Penacony to live in the dreamscape and everyone already has no intention of waking up, it’s not really doing anything bad to make everyone live in a dream that they were already living in.
Then comes the argument that living in the dreamscape is escapism because you’ll run out of money to pay rent eventually and be forced to wake up. Under normal circumstances this would be true but of course Sunday’s plan makes it so that the dream is indistinguishable from reality and people will never wake up. This essentially means that the people who are in Ena’s dream aren’t escaping reality anymore because the dream became their new reality which would be a dream come true for them (haha). This isn’t some fleeting, fake happiness either as Robin says she senses genuine happiness from the 2nd dreamchaser.
In fact the only person aside from the main cast of heroes who stands to lose anything from this is Sunday who has to stay in eternal wakening.
So basically, it is already the dreamchasers desire to live in the dreamscape forever, and Sunday is making their dreams come true. It’s only by Acheron destroying the dreamscape that causes people to want to wake up out of desperation to escape the chaos, chaos that otherwise wouldn’t exist without the main casts interference. It’s like if someone wanted to stay in their house but you force them outside by burning their house down.
If anything, for all the talk of people making their own decisions without external force, the main cast is disrespecting the entirety of Penacony’s choice by destroying the dreamscape that they wanted and chose to live in. And really that just proves Sunday even more correct in his ideology because it was the strong main cast who decided the future for all of Penacony even though they didn’t want that future and just wanted to live their lives in the dreamscape.
And for some reason the main cast is being portrayed as weak and similar to everyone else in Penacony? Like why is Himeko yelling “the will of the weak” when they aren’t weak? It’s already established by Sunday that the nameless have to be strong to go on a dangerous interstellar journey; and for Firefly, well sure she likes the dreamscape but unlike everyone else on Penacony she didn’t come to the dreamscape to live in it she came to the dreamscape to fulfill the script. And let’s be honest Elio isn’t recruiting any weak people any time soon. The only reason Sunday thinks she’s weak is because he doesn’t know she’s a stellaron hunter which only applies to 5 people in the universe. Boothill is a galaxy ranger and Acheron is an emanator both of which are strong groups of people. Black Swan is a memetic entity so she’s more ambiguous. So basically all of the main cast, unlike the rest of Penacony, has a reason to want to wake from the dream be it a journey, a script, or their own self interest. And let me remind you that none of the main cast except Robin was even supposed to be on Penacony in the first place so the only people minus Robin who wanted to wake from the dream weren’t even supposed to be in the dream.
The only person who is an exception to this is Robin. She doesn’t exactly want to live in the dream like the rest of Penacony, but she does get the harmony she always wanted in Ena’s dream and chooses to wake up anyway befitting her character as a symbol of harmony, hope, and inspiration. That being said Robin wakes up as a universal superstar not a hopeless peasant or war paraplegic.
I hope the effect on average citizens is explored in the next quest as I’m sure they would be mad over having their haven destroyed by outside forces, but I doubt that will happen given the negative framing in the quest. Especially that old man from the war who had every reason to live in the dreamscape like he’s on deaths door he doesn’t have time to go to rehab at the intelligencia guild lol
So TL;DR was Sunday really wrong giving the dreamchasers what they wanted? Was the main cast really right in forcing everyone to wake up despite Penacony’s wishes? They could have just left the dreams area of effect and let them live in the dream forever.
Edit: typo

In January of 2023 my wife, I’ll call her S, left me. A bit of backstory because this is mostly my fault. Me and her moved from Florida to Washington 6 years ago for me to find better work. Her dad, brother and I were all best friends for a while and her dad was my boss that’s how I met her. We started dating in 2016 when I lived in Jacksonville and was attending welding school. When I moved back to my hometown I couldn’t find work and eventually went back to work with the company her dad worked at, I ran my own shop. I hated it I was so depressed I wanted to weld but she didn’t want me to because she’d be alone while I was on the road so I stayed. Her mom is a meth addict and is very violent and her dad is laid back as it gets but an alcoholic non the less. I was living with my parents at the time and one day her mom freaked out and tried to hit her, I stood up and defended her and her mom kicked her out of there house. Me and her lived with my parents ever since. Now that she lived at my parents house I had to basically force her to get a job because all she did was play sims and complain. Especially about me watching game of thrones because of the nudity. when I got home and I thought she needed some purpose. I only bring these thing up to put into perspective the things that I had to forgive and give up to be with her. One day my mom asks us if we’d like to move to Washington in hopes of a better life and she could attend college here. I was thrilled at the idea and she was at that moment too. As the date grew closer and I had already put my two weeks notice in she started getting cold feet. I explained to her that I was miserable at my job and had already given up welding and I was not passing up another opportunity whether she came or not. That ended in a fight but she said she wanted to come in the end. My mom emptied her retirement so we could rent a truck, drive up and have an apartment when we got there (my mom was already here) When got here we both immediately got jobs as a construction labor, making quite good money and her at a drugstore. This is where the problems really began. She started to become very withdrawn. She was not interested in anything sexual, and it began to wear on my confidence. I eventually got a job as an electrician making less money as an apprentice, but more overall when I turned out. Then Covid hit. I got fat and depressed, I got a lot from unemployment. So naturally, I began to drink more. Then I started dabbling in cocaine. Over time this became a problem, I began hiding it doing it on the weekends being out all night sometimes for multiple days. She caught me and I lied. My mental health was deteriorating quickly. I had already suffered with depression before, but this was something different. Her dad got diagnosed with stage bone cancer during this too. It was a rough time for both of us. At one point she told me she didn’t know if she wanted to get a divorce because she wanted to go back home to be with her dad if he died. Even though I understood this crushed me even more. During 2022 I was still somehow I was still somehow still managing to keep it together even with my addiction. She started attending college and work and college at the same time with stressing her out to the point where she was crying so I told her to quit her job and do college full-time. I paid for all of it. Financial burdens began to increase. My mental health dropped even lower. I became increasingly suicidal I thought about death every day. I talked about it every day. She would tell me she’s not a psychiatrist or therapist and that she couldn’t help me. She started hanging out with one of her friends from work and they started hanging out a lot towards the end of 2022. This part is extremely important. I started noticing things on her phone that pointed to her being interested in women like things in her algorithm for TikTok and YouTube. Stuff to do with being lesbian and coming out or bi. I asked her one day if that was something that was going on with her if she was interested in women. She told me no. A month later, she came to me and told me that she thought about it and it was something that she had been thinking about. I told her that it was OK and that it was something that I was willing to let her explore as long as we communicated. Then out of the blue one day again she tells me she didn’t mind if I slept with other women. Looking back this was a red flag at the time. I thought it was OK with it for being with someone else. It turns out I was not. Being a cocaine addict and an alcoholic pretty much plus the thought of her being with someone else started to grind my self-conscious. I became increasingly paranoid that she would leave me. One night fueled on cocaine. I got on her laptop and looked through all of her history all of it back years. And I saw she had to stop obsessing over a guy. Is it OK to have a crush on a guy at the gym while married. I confronted her with this information. And it turned into a huge she said I invaded her privacy which I did and still feel terrible for. And she said it was only a crush and nothing else. Our sex life had all the ground, and I was so hurt that she was attracted to someone else and couldn’t even begin to be attracted to me. One night at the beginning of January, maybe the first week or two I was trying to quit drinking and doing cocaine. I had maybe been a week in. It was the weekend and I didn’t want to be alone. I begged her to stay with me, but she went out with her friend. In retaliation, I suppose I went out with someone a friend of mine and got fucked up. We ended up going back to his place with some girls. There was no sex just making out and such. I don’t remember exactly what happened, but I freaked out and got taken home in a cop car. She was at her friends at this point I decided to commit suicide. I overdosed on muscle relaxers with my uncle to tell him bye. My uncle got it out of him that I had overdosed. He called my wife and her and the woman that she was hanging out with came to my house and I was taken to the hospital. I spent a whole week in the hospital. The whole time I was there she just seemed annoyed. She wanted to go back to her friends house and do homework for school. I got out and went back to work. I had to make up some school and the day I was there. I talked to another woman about how I could win her back because she said that she didn’t know if she wanted to be with me anymore. The girls suggested I take her out on a date and tell her how I was feeling and I did. That night while we were eating dinner, she told me that she had been sleeping with that girl the night I tried to commit suicide and other nights. She didn’t tell me she was afraid I would divorce. At first, I remain calm. But as the past, I started to become angry. at home I told her I was leaving to go stay at a friends house because we need to take a break. I started drinking heavily and told her to get the fuck out of my house and I hated her a bunch of other I started drinking heavily and told her to get the fuck out of my house and I hated her a bunch of other terrible things. I went completely off the rails she left with that girl to stay at her house. I bought a bunch of cocaine Adderall and alcohol and was determined to just do drugs until I died. I started self harming. I tried to commit suicide through carbon monoxide, overdose, and hanging. I ruined the house. I broke so many things kicked down doors shattered pictures. You should’ve seen it. It was disgusting. She came by to check on me because she was worried. I was going to kill myself. I can’t remember everything that I said to her, but I know I freaked out. I started throwing things and just being an absolute ass. it culminated her calling my parents. She told him everything. I should also note that during this time I was confused as well with everything going on in my head and thought maybe I would be by and gave a guy a blow job he also gave me one as well. It didn’t last long I wasn’t into it, but I told her the very next day. Had about three months before all this happened. She left again and my mom flew back from Florida. As I sobered up, I began to realize how I had acted. I went to work and immediately told my foreman that I needed to go to rehab. I went to rehab and started to feel better about two months after she had told me and I went to rehab and started to feel better. About two months since the split, we met up at a Starbucks to talk about us. She said that she didn’t think she could be with me anymore. After the way I had acted and all the lying with my addiction. I wanted her back so badly. I told her I’m sorry I was never worth it in a bunch of other stuff that was childish. She said I had acted like her mom and that she couldn’t deal with it. I totally did the yelling throwing things saying horrible things to her to put her down. Anyway, I went no contact with her the whole time she was still living with that girl. I relapsed after about four months. I got laid off from my job. In a few Coke, fueled rages on separate occasions, I would call her and beg her back and then yell at her when she didn’t want to. I called her with cancer and told him that she had cheated on me with a girl. They are very conservative and that was a horrible thing for me to do. So now the end of the tale. I’ve been in and out of sobriety now for this year and a half more in sobriety than out. I’m sober now I’m in AA and NA and feeling much better. Her dad died of cancer. She never told me I heard through a friend of a friend which really hurt me because me and him used to be best friends. Although I understand why she would not reach out to me. Neither me or her have filed the paperwork for the divorce. We just never talk. She has me blocked on Facebook and I don’t know her phone number and honestly right now. I don’t even know if I want to go through with the divorce or just keep working on healing. I’m so confused because I still love her but also I don’t want to be with her but I do. I think about her all the time. I don’t want to break no contact with her. We haven’t spoken in over nine months. I don’t want to open up the wounds for her. If anyone has read this far thank you. I’m typing on my phone so if everything seems rushed and a little sporadic, sorry. I would just like some advice on how maybe I could move forward stay sober and heal from all of this.

Today was not a great day at all. I am on the verge of attending a dental school which will put me nearly 500k in debt and I just found out that the FAFSA interest rate for loans increased a whole percent. I have often found myself wondering if I am doing the right thing. My parents always encouraged me to go down the path of becoming a doctor because they thought it would make me happy to make a lot of money. I eventually realized that I wanted to be a dentist because I really care about talking to people regularly and providing good care. I always assumed that they would help me with school but when I applied they informed me that they wouldn’t be helping that much maybe just food, rent and gas. I don’t care about being super rich, but 500k is a lot of money and I don’t think they get that by setting me down this path I may be putting off significant parts of my life like getting married or having kids. At this point in my life I’ve never had a girlfriend and it makes me feel quite hopeless sometimes. I keep telling myself I can pay off the debt if I work hard and stay positive but it sometimes feels heavy. If this goes terribly I can complain all I want but it will only be my fault and there won’t be anyone there to hear me. I worked so hard to get to this point but I’ve often wondered what the fuck am I doing.