Long door strike

Hello, Sorry in advance for the following long text.
I (M27) am married to my wife (W25) since last year ( civil marriage). And since 2018 (religious)
We have been together since 11 years. And I can't imagine a life without her. For you to understand I have to start at the beginning of our journey.
I met her when she was 16 and I was 18. First contact was through Facebook and we met shortly after for the first time. Before we met we called each other on a daily basis for hours and hours. We were in love without seeing each other.
At our first RL date we had a really good time and our love grew stronger.
Context for religion (it'll be important later)
I was raised as a "Christ" (My parents aren't religious at all) She was raised Muslim.
It happend that I had rough times in my teens, divorced parents lost grandparents etc.
I discovered Islam for me and it helped me In my situation. That was before I met my wife.
At that time I didn't had the courage to tell my mother and go to a Mosque.
Through my wife I got the courage and converted to Islam "officially". That was really awesome and I love my wife for the strength she gave me at the time.
At our first date, i was curious that she lied to her mother about me. And soon I would understand why.
Everything was alright and we had a long distance relationship a couple months (it takes 4 hours to get to her by train). Occasionally we met etc. But one day she called my crying and her voice was full of fear. Her (divorced) parents and her extended family found out that we were dating and there were fourious. That day I learnd about her family and the fact that thei were religious hardliners.
My wife told me that she was locked up in a room because they found out about me. And was threatened with death. Because they thought we had sex before marriage and that would be a sin etc. They told her stuff about honor killing. And she will soon die. She managed to get out there and begged me for help. I was devastated and I had no car nor the time to travel that far.
She wanted to flee from that town and her family. She had no money to buzz train tickets. I bought her tickets from my town. And send them over to her via Whatsapp.
It worked and she was on her way to me. And away from the bad people. We didn't call the police because nobody of us could think at the moment. At the same evening police knocked on my door ( I lived by my parents at the time) I was reported to the police because child kidnapping she was 16 and I was 18.
After that the times got harder she had to go to a safehouse etc. I received death threats and stuff via Whatsapp and calls from her mother. They would kill me, skin me, or rape me sister.
MZ biggest fear was for my wife. She was alone in that safehouse thing and I couldn't comfort her. For her the times had to be much harder then for me. And now I still feel guilty for what happened to her. On some days I wish didn't met her so that she could have a normal life :(
We went through that time year after year. It was a hard time, especially for her. Until we moved together. 2 years after that incident.
My family to was upset about that whole situation and I had to brake with them. They made things difficult because they had no empathy towards my wife or her situation.
4 years after the incident with her family she reunited with her mother and her sisters ( she wanted that and I can't speak against her, it is her decision and I am here to help her?)
Sure I wasn't happy but I accepted it because my wife wanted to, and that is what she needed to be happy, okay. Her mother stayed a week. She didn't apologize and came only for the reason make a religious wedding. So that " her daughter wouldnt live in sin".
Occasionally she phoned with her mom.
Fast forward a couple months.
She wants to visit her mother and her Grandma. Her Grandma is very important to her. But I wouldn't let her go alone and she didn't want to go alone so I went with her.
Her mom talked to people there and it should be safe for my wife. But not for me. I had to hide in the trunk of pure car so that no one sees me. She could roam freely and could visit her grandmother and other relatives.
I had to stay in the house of her mother. I didn't feel good in that environment but she was happy to see some people and this was worth it.
Years after that and more visits in her hometown later my wife was upset that I had to hide Everytime. (Only her mother knew about me,still being her husband)
Then her mother and my wife told everyone (extender relatives) that I am from Albany and she met at her University or something.
We made a bigger wedding in Turkey for with a video and other stuff to show of to her family. It was a wedding purely for them. They talked my wife down and I wanted to say something but my wife told me to keep my thoughts for my self.
After the wedding we visited her family more often and I have to say that some of her uncles are good people. But I can't feel accepted because I live a lie when I am there. They don't like me because of who I am, the "like" me because of the person they think I am.
That she visits her mother more frequently is not as good as I hoped because every dam time they shout at each other, her Mom gives her the fault on everything that happened. Her sisters too. That can't be good for any person, especially my wife. And was furios how they treat her after everything what went wrong I flipped and shouted at them. Only for my wife to angry towards me because I don't respect her family. One day it escalated between my wife and her younger sister (F18) and they began to punch each other. I held them back and shouted. My whole life I wasn't this angry. I immediately grabbed our suitcase and left this hellhole town.
This time my wife wasn't angry at me for shouting and everything was "normal". But after one week everything was alright between her and her sister.
My wife is treated like shit from her family every time she visits them, she is obviously very sad about this but she can't want to talk about it. She only says it is her family it is okay.
But nothing is okay, my wife is in bad condition emotionally and i can't stand it anymore. It breaks my heart everyday I see her so sad. And I can't do anything about it because she doesnt let me.
The last two years we can't live one week without a big fight. Fight over simple stuff like open toothpaste or "there is one spoon in the sink". And Everytime it breaks my heart. I know about her trauma and want to considerate it but sometimes when she gets too offensive or hits me (not with her fist, with her flat hand) I get aggressiv too and shout something back. Then she's sad and I feel guilty. Points she makes in big arguments are my

• Religion (I am only a Muslim because of her, wich is wrong)
  
• I don't like her family ( because I don't like to visit them)
  

Fast forward to today.
Sadly her Grandma passed away and she was devastated. Me too because her grandma was the only person In her family that truly liked me and I liked her.
Her grandma was hospitalized two months ago and the last month we were 28 out of 30 days in her hometown to visit her grandma. I had to call in sick at work to make it work and support my wife.
And after her grandma passed away they organized her funeral in Beirut Lebanon (we live in Germany). I didn't want to go because there is a war going on in that part of the world. And the funeral there is a very personal thing where only the closest family members are allowed. My wife had to go. She told me that in advance. It wasn't easy to support her idea because i was afraid that something will happen to her.
But she said it's part of her journey and she has to go. Her heart wanted that.
The only thing I can do is, to provide emotional support. And I did that. She arrived safe at home after a week. But then the things got worse.
The times are very difficult because is it almost impossible to do the right thing. I want to be there for her, but I also want to give her space that she needs. But nothing seems to work. And I know that griefing is a very personal thing and it doesn't work like. "Uh I happy again now"
What I want to say with "nothing seems to work" is her outbursts get worse she always withdraws further and further. I tried everything, i actively try to talk with her, then I try to let her have space.
But it doesn't matter what I do, she always finds a reason to argue with me and threaten me with divorce. If I let her have space, "you don't care about me" If I actively want to talk " you talk too much, I need my space" Once I considerd a therapy because all of the emotional trauma and the result was the biggest fight I have in a long time.
I can't stand the outburst anymore. Last time she said it's my fault that she doesn't saw her grandma frequently. And that one left me devastated and heartbroken. All I wanted in my life was to make her happy and now she is more heartbroken then ever :(
Sometimes she can be very impatient. Like yesterday, it was late and we had a big fight, after everything was over I wanted to take a quick shower because I had to wake up at 5 o'clock and it was 0:30 She was in the bedroom and wanted a bottle of water, I said "just one minute, I have to take a shower and the Ill come upstairs and bring water" "but I want my water now! She shouted again. And I said " then come downstairs and get some water, I have to work tomorrow and I need a shower"
Then it escalated again and I brought her water. Then she said she'll go back to her family and will leave me divorce me, and I would keep her away from her family etc. This is not the first time she threatened with divorce. It happens really often and I don't know if she is serious or just angry.
I don't want her to be sad with me. If she doesn't feel well with me she has to go. It'll break me but she deserves a good and happy life. She had enough bad stuff in her life. I don't want to make her life bad.
I would like to have a therapy for both of us. But she don't want to. And if I say I would like to have Therapie, she is upset because she don't know why I would need therapy, and she is the one who lost a family member.
I don't know what I can do to make her feel better. I am afraid she leaves me, but at the same time I don't want to keep her away from the life she wants.
Thank you very much for reading, and sorry for the bad English it's not my native language.

Please help me figure this one out... 🙏
I'm F30, I met this M23 on a dating app. I know, I know... What a gap. Anyway. Instant insane connexion. Definitely one of the special encounters, we tick all of each other's boxes on every level, which I think caught us both by surprise and actually scared us a bit because of how fast we were falling for each other.
After the first date (6 hours of talking in the park, then food, then wine at his place), out of himself, he told me he was "totally down to not date anybody else" and on the third, again out of himself, that he's "ready to invest his energy, time and being in me/us. I'm ready to delete the app, and I'm not asking you to do the same back."
"Great, I thought, finally a healthy, emotionally mature guy who knows what he wants and does what it takes to get it!". 😁
I kissed him on the third date (a few hours before his speech) and we hadn't had sex yet. He was never a big texter though and he told me he liked to have alone time because he is an introvert. For me it's hard because I am a passionate person but I respect that.
As I was leaving after our 3rd date, he asked me "let me know when you wanna meet up next week to study together" and I said "well it will have to be after Thursday" and when he replied "oh.." I could tell he might be a little disappointed that it would be in so long. But I didn't say anything. Later that evening (Saturday) he texted me ('hey, I've done this, eaten that, good night') and I... Well... I didn't reply until the next Friday. I know it's long... But I thought that he would be happy to have some space cause we had just spent a whole 24 hours together.
So on Friday I called him, he didn't pick up, but we texted for a bit. The next day we don't text at all and I feel I'm gonna explode... I NEED closeness with him! I text him that I wanna see him, he invites me over, I go to his place.
There - fasten your seat belt - not only do I learn that he had had a date with someone else during the week, but he also had sex with her. 🥳 I asked why and he said "because I felt rejected, and my pride was telling me not to double text you because I thought you would perceive me as weak." Of course I held a whole speech about that going after what you want is exactly what makes you strong, that it's easier to fuck a random stranger or run away from things than taking the phone, swallowing your pride, owning and admitting your feelings and being open, honest and vulnerable. It takes strength and courage to do that. He didn't really say anything to this.
Keep your seat belt on. I asked for a cigarette (I quit a long time ago but fuck it). We went on the balcony and his male flatmate (never seen before) came out to smoke as well. I started to look at him and devour him with my eyes. I wanted to just go kiss him right there in front of that A** but I refrained myself. The roommate went back in, I went to the toilet, A** went to his room. Believe it or not. When I came out of the bathroom the ROOMMATE opened his door and handed me a piece of paper with his phone number on it. I grabbed his hole hand instead of just the paper, pulled him towards me and kissed the shit out of him. He pulled me in his room, closed the door and after a moment asked "are you sure it does not bother him?" "hahaha no don't worry, he doesn't care!" "Are you sure?" "Should we go ask him?". I go to A's room and say "hey... Do you mind if I have sex with your roommate right now?" He bugged. Froze. "Yeah, sure...". I go back to roommate and make out again for another 15 minutes or so. We end up on his bed, I am so not horny but I act like he's the best man in the world. Then I ask "do you have a condom though?" "No.. Do you?" "Oh, no... But I know who might" "😏... Ok go ask him". So I go back and say "sorry, do you have a condom?" "of course, how many do you want? Should I give you two?" "ah... I think three or four should be better" "you're getting two". I go back to roommate's, make out again and then said "oh wait sorry, I forgot something..." and leave the room. I went back to A's, he's on his bed, laptop on the lap, phone in the hands, headphones in the ears. I sit, close his computer, look at him straight in the eye and ask "what does this make you feel?".
And so we started talking. We talked for like 5 hours, until 7 in the morning. And even though there were little hints of "I would like to see you again but I don't know if you would" here and there, it didn't feel like he was making enough effort to fix the mess he made, the trust he betrayed, he never asked for forgiveness or a second chance. In fact he seemed quite numb and apathetic to be honest. He opened up like crazy about his past and deep thoughts though. I realized he has abandonment issues and big old fear of rejection. He has no one and is lonely. I asked him "do you think you might have done what you did because you got scared by the fact that you finally met someone reliable, honest, and trustworthy?" "self sabotage? Yeah... I do that a lot."
I start to get ready to leave, he stands up and comes towards me for a hug, but I stepped back. He says 'ok'. I say "You know.. I just don't get it why you would do something like this after you told me you were ready to not date anybody, delete the app..." "yeah, in the end I deleted it and downloaded it again." "No you didn't." "How do you know?" "Tell me when you did it" "well... Two days after we first met." "But... It was after our 3rd date that you told me you would do it" "oh... Well then I guess I didn't." "Are you lying to me right now?" "Yeah... Yeah actually that was a lie right there...".
More blabla. In the end, he was just getting really tired and couldn't really function properly anymore. He said we could call to talk about this more. Shortly after, I just left, without goodbye.
I know he will never call me back because yeah... He doesn't really fight for what he wants. So... Should I?

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1. Eliminate Breeding Grounds

Inspect Your Surroundings: Check for any standing water around your home: empty flowerpots, buckets, and discarded containers. Even a small capful of water can serve as a mosquito nursery.
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1. Protective Measures

Use Mosquito Nets: Invest in high-quality mosquito nets for your windows and doors. They allow fresh air in while keeping the pesky insects out.
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Apply Repellent: Choose a mosquito repellent containing DEET or picaridin. Apply it to exposed skin for added protection.
Lets Checkout some more common ways for pest free environment......Read More

So I’m not sure if I discovered something, or if this has already been found out, but figured I’d share since I haven’t seen anyone else post this.
So if any of you are aware, you can skip the star core collection quest by clipping through the glass via power armor. You hold a gun, and you hold E (or the exit button) and you spin your back to the wall while the animation plays, and as you hop out of the armor, you’ll come out on the other side of the wall. As long as you have a power core for the Quantum X-01, you can pocket the armor pieces and do the same trick to get back out. (This was the strategy I used in my survival playthrough, saw it in a video, so I borrowed the method)
However, if you go to Fort Hagen early, and try to meet Kellogg, the door leading to his lair is “boarded up”, preventing you from going further unless you progress the main mission (Diamond City, Nick, Dogmeat).
Here’s where the previous wall trick comes in.
The door isn’t a load state, it’s just a door. So you do the same trick (pull out weapon, exit power armor, spin around while animation plays), and you’ll come out on the other side of the boards, and the door.
Granted, you can’t open it, since it’s technically “inaccessible”, but if you walk down the hallway, you’ll see “Reunions” start, and Kellogg will start blabbing over the loudspeaker.
Thus, you can kill Kellogg early, and also summon the Prydwen.
Not sure if this was a bug/feature on my end as I started a new playthrough after the Next-Gen patch (PC, vanilla), but I’m surprised no one else has brought this up.

I (M33) recently had an ex (M38) from a year ago message me saying he wanted to get closure from how things ended, which should be it's own post; but I'll sum it up.
I invited him on a cruise with a friend group. Friend group decided to go to a LGBT mixer. During the mixer, I talked to two separate groups by myself. He became upset when I talked to a guy within the second group and said I was flirting with him. I was led away from the group and followed him to our room.
I apologized for not including him in the conversation, but he became verbally aggressive. Saying I made him look stupid in front of the group and that no other n**** was talking like I was if they were coupled. I then said why are you acting jealous, and to that he said why would I be jealous of you and other stuff. At that point, I leave and go to get a free massage sampler to hope things calm down.
It doesn't, and he texts that I need to talk to him now or my shit is going to be packed up and left outside of the room, I'm a piece of shit, I'm going to guest services. I just ignore them, and I show the texts to a member of the group who was also at the free massage event.
While showing the text messages, the ex comes out of nowhere and cusses at me again and says he's going to guest services and I just say ok, whatever. I go to the room and I see he has his things packed up. About 20 minutes pass and security is at my door reprimanding me and saying we can't have altercations like this. We're gonna revoke both of you all's drinking privileges. And they asked me multiple times if I would vacate the room and sleep in a friend's room since I knew a few of them longer.
I said no, especially since he still $400+ for the trip, and security let him know that he couldn't be moved since the cruise was sold out. They also said that going forward we should just act as though we're in separate trips and not speak with each other.
Security leaves and immediately he is asking to talk it out. In my petty bag, I kept saying you heard what they said. We're not allowed to talk to each other; but I do mention that I'm going to text a member of the group to see if they're fine with him staying in their room since they were become fast buddies. Again, definitely in my petty bag.
He then grabs my phone and makes threats that he'll make false accusations to security if I don't talk to him. Security warned us we would be locked up if they had reports of yelling/fighting and he wanted to intimidate me into speaking with him when I wasn't in the mood after being scolded/chastised.
After getting my phone back, I leave the room. Clear my mind and head back to the room after a few hours. I say I'll talk if he clears it up with security. He tells me that he's already made the decision to leave the ship and his ex bought his ticket to go back to the states from Puerto Rico. He also stated that he would be moving out of town to live with his mother.
After that, we have two more encounters stateside. He had left his keys in my car at the port and told me just to throw them in the trash. Instead of doing that, I sent him an email a week after getting home. I apologized again and told him I would leave his keys with the property management team. But I wanted to see if he actually moved, so I knocked on his door a few times. He then comes out and says this isn't appropriate and he'll call the cops if I come again.
I still do like a dumb ass. I want a response from him, I want a chance for reconciliation and if not at least closure. And yes, at this point I've been blocked on social media and through phones. So I leave a lilac, a favorite movie of his, and another apology note. Still no contact from him.
So I just decide a few weeks later I'm going to stay on his doorstep until he talks to me or calls the cops. The latter happens and I tell them I not there to cause any harm. I just want to speak. The cop just lets me know my ex wants nothing to do with me and I can be charged if I come back on the apartment grounds.
So I leave and that's our last interaction until the day after my bday. Sorry I went long winded, but I wanted to provide context on the break up. I've attached the convo we had earlier.
https://imgur.com/a/UMyT2uH
Do you all feel as though I was an asshole for not giving him the response he was looking for by not saying I didn't hate him? And do you feel like my responses were toxic/dramatic?

The sun is out, so the morning commute is packed with more cyclists than ever. It's great, to see so many on the road. But when you're cycling in central London, you're not cycling at your local park.
Don't look at your phone while cycling, don't go through red lights (no matter the peer pressure you feel) and don't pull out / change lanes without signalling and looking over your shoulder twice, first. And no matter what, pedestrians have the right of way. Go ahead and hit one if you want, they'll be the ones winning in court.
Oh, and to the pair of idiots on White City roundabout this morning - you are on one of London's most dangerous bits of road, so pushing through a red light only to end up sitting in the first lane of the roundabout where a van nearly struck you both was beyond stupid. Have some brains.
In short, London is an amazing city to cycle around, but do it safely and you'll have a better chance of survival (and of helping other people survive, too).
some additions:
Cycle in the middle of a lane if it makes you feel safer, it certainly helps avoid car doors opening - but don't do it at 5mph.
Don't "race" other cyclists. 9 times out of 10, they are not racing you, they're just bettefaster cyclists making their way to work. By racing them, you endanger both of you.
Don't undertake, only overtake. It's super dangerous.
Funnelling through traffic is perfectly legal, just stop and look to see if anything is coming before you enter a new lane, as chances are you'll cycle into another bike or motorbike.
Be SO careful at a line of traffic, a pedestrian might see it as an opportunity to cross and when they pop out from behind a bus, you will strike them. Just slow down.
At junctions don't EVER be on the inside of a vehicle. they may decide to turn into the junction at the last minute and, therefore, will hit you. Just hold back until you pass the junction. Saving a few seconds will save your life.

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Hello you filthy bastards.
Time to learn what a poor mans covered call is.
Let's start with the basics of a traditional covered call:

• You buy 100 shares of a stock trading at $125 per share.
• This will cost you $125 * 100 = $12,500.
• You then sell a Call option, above your strike, say, $128, and receive juicy premium for doing so.
  • If the stock price rises to $130, you short call is assigned, and you sell your stock at $128, and keep your premium.
• If you're a little timmy and you don't have $12K in the bank. What do you do?

Enter: The PMCC, the poor mans covered call, the diagonal call spread.

• Instead of buying 100 shares of stock -
• We buy a deep, in the money, call option, for a fraction of the price.
• Some criteria people like to follow:
• At least 90+ days to expiry, at least 70 delta
• Let's use AAPL as an example here (Trading at $187 at time of this post)
  • 17th Jan 25 180C is currently $21 and it's delta is sitting at 0.698, the DTE is 247 Days. and it costs $2100 to purchase, instead $18,700.
  • This call acts as our synthetic 100 shares of stock. We can now sell a Covered Call against this call option.

But what should the strike be?! Ah I am glad you asked Timmy.

• You need to make sure you are covering your ass and not selling below your cost basis if you are assigned. This is because the flow is as follows:
• Buy 180C for $2100
• You sell the $190 call for $1.65 and get $165 in premium.
• AAPL goes to $192, and you are assigned. What happens?
• Your 180C is assigned and you get 100 AAPL for $18,000.
• You have to then sell your stock for $19,000, congrats you made $1000 in profit.
• You also made $165 from the short call, so in total, you made $1165.
• But wait, your CALL was $2100?! So you actually lost $935.
• What you need to do is calculate the short call strike to ensure a profitable outcome:
• $18,000 + $2100 for the call = $20100 / 100 = $201.
• So now if we redo the trade and sell the 200C for $1.20, we get $120.
• If we're assigned - we buy $18,000 worth of APPL, sell it for $20,000, make $2000 + $120.

The idea is to ensure you are always in an profitable outcome, and reduce the cost basis of your original long ITM call.

Hi, I don't post on Reddit much, but I've been stressing over this for way too long and need some input. I'm 30 years old, single, have a BS in Physics. Since I graduated, I've worked at factories in the area for about 5 years. Two years of that I worked as a process engineering technician, the other 3 years have been spent as a machine operator. I bought into the whole "get your foot in the door" and "these places love to promote from within" rhetoric and have started from entry level, but, without naming companies, recent management changes have made that essentially impossible and the culture has shifted towards just slapping associates with write ups at the drop of a hat, negating any ability to move up or around within the company. My resume isn't anything spectacular, but I have excellent manual dexterity, observational skills, upper level math/science, computer skills stemming from being around computers since I was able to read. My college capstone was in Optics, and my senior year my team delivered a presentation at the Society of Physics Students conference in Ft. Lauderdale on testing the reliability of pulse lasers. I'd like to think I have a decent spread of hobbies as well that could at least point towards other skills and aptitudes that don't come with a certification, such as electric guitar repair including wiring, I have a project car I bought non-running and have repaired the wiring and engine parts to have it now running reliably, I recently assembled an entire Warhammer 40k army and painted it myself, and dabble in video editing/photo editing in Adobe suite for personal video game funny videos/montages or what have you.
I'm looking at relocating, but trying to narrow down where I would want to move to and find jobs there with no responses through Indeed has been emotionally exhausting. I'm afraid I've wasted the last five years working entry level when I could have been doing something else to develop skills in an industry or something. I don't have involved parents or a support system either, which makes this all the more difficult.
Thank you for reading all of this even if you don't have any input. Feels good just to get some of it typed out. 🤷‍♂️

Guys I really need help because I’m just at my fuxing wits end with Tik Tok. The constant low views, low engagement due to them not pushing my videos is so disheartening.
I've received a 2 violations last week for absolute nonsense. The first violation was because I said “eww! That’s terrible” on someone’s post because they were talking about some really horrible situation. I didn’t mean it as in they were “eww”
Then I posted a video about things we should just let go of as women. Extremely long nails, baby hairs down to your eyeballs, huge bat lashes…. Very basic video. I got a strike for it! I was absolutely shocked. They removed my video then I appealed and they approved it and put it back up. Ultimately I felt like shxt so I deleted the entire post. After that I waited two days, I resumed posting. TODAY I posted and I thought hmm let me check my analytics. My analytics show that zero people who follow me have seen my posts, despite them appearing on the For You page. While people not following me have. And I was so annoyed!
It's frustrating to see that fitness, beauty, fashion, and lip-sync creators or even people just talking about absolutely nothing are getting the most views and engagement while my commentary, reactions, and reviews go unnoticed due to Tik Tok not pushing anything. I have 1.2k followers and aim for 5k by the year's end, but it feels unattainable.
I had friends tell me to keep going and how my content isn’t bad. But I am at the point where I’m starting to feel like is this even for me and maybe I should just delete my entire socials. The constant rejection Tik Tok is doing to small content creators like myself is just appalling and honestly unfair. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy making content, making people laugh and I love talking to people however I do not want to conform to what everyone else is doing as I feel like it’s not authentic.
Any advice or constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks :)

WARNING! This post is INFECTED with a dangerous disease called... MY OPINION! As everyone knows, ULTRAKILL would suck if we were designing it, so take this post with a grain of salt.

• + ORBITAL STRIKE - Hit an enemy with a [ultra]ricoshot using a coin that's a certain height above the enemy. I just think it's cool tech and should get it's own style bonus.
• + SLINGSHOTTED - While in the air, pull a lightweight enemy towards you, but whiplash cancel in the middle of it to send them flying into a death pit or hazard.
• + YOUR OWN MEDICINE - Kill a Malicious Face using the Malicious Railcannon, kill a Swordsmachine with any Shotgun's base primary fire (no core eject, no chainsaw, no projectile boosting, etc), kill a Streetcleaner by setting them on fire with the Firestarter, kill a Guttertank with any Rocket Launcher's base primary fire (no cannonball, no oil, etc), kill a Hideous Mass with the Whiplash, kill a Sisyphean Insurrectionist with a dead Maurice (+ MAURICED) or kill V2 with the Knuckleblaster.
• + LONGSHOT - Hit an enemy with a hitscan attack from over a certain distance away. Excludes explosions (malicious railcannon) and [ultra]ricoshots (marksman). I think this would reward having good aim from afar. We already have headshots and limbshots, right?
• + LONGSHOT COMBO x(y) - Just like how headshot has headshot combo, longshot has longshot combo. Works basically the same.
• + OXYMORON - Kill a Malicious Face or Soldier with a Core Eject or with any Rocket Launcher's primary fire. Now possible by covering them with the Firestarter's oil since a recent patch.
• + COYOTE TIME - Kill a Cerberus by tricking them into dashing off a ledge and into a death pit or hazard while enraged. I just think it's funny whenever this happens.
• + FLUID OVERFLOW - Kill a Streetcleaner by having them touch water. (yes, that actually kills them)
• + CHAIN DRIVE x(y) - Punch a Screwdriver drill out of an enemy and into ANOTHER enemy (y) amount of times. Haven't actually tried it, but I'm pretty sure this can be done infinitely as long as the drill doesn't miss and an enemy doesn't die with the drill in it.
• + JOLT PURCHASE - Hit an enemy with an electric jolt (+ CONDUCTOR) that chained through a Marksman coin. (yes, jumpstart/electric railcannon electricity can be chained through coins)
• + PROJECTILE ACCELERATION - Perform an ultraricoshot using a jackhammered core or rocket as the hitscan attack.
• + METEOROLOGY MACHINE - Have an enemy die from being naturally struck by the lightning in 5-2 and 5-4 after being filled with nails. Ferryman-summoned lightning does not count.
• + PAID THE TOLL LATE - Perform a coinpunch (+ FISTFUL OF DOLLAR) on a Ferryman.
• + CHOKING HAZARD - Shoot a projectile into Leviathan's mouth as it does the "fire breath" attack. This style bonus has a cooldown to prevent the nailgun, sawblade launcher, and shotgun from giving an obscene amount of style points.

I had quite the weird roommate experience. To preface, my situation wasn’t terrible, but did have a major impact on my mental health, academic performance, and socialization this past freshman year of college.
To start off, I met my roommate through a college bios page. What seemed great over the phone turned into a quick nightmare as soon as the end of august rolled around. The first day we were in a room together, you could feel the awkwardness and disconnect and it never went away, even at the end of the second semester. Basically my roommate became good friends with this girl down the hall, and started to treat me and the other girls roommate like garbage.
Long story short, I became friends with the other girls roommate who was in the same situation as me. There was a football game the one day and I was getting ready with my friend in my room, and my roommate was getting ready with my friend’s roommate in her room (2 doors apart). My friend went to grab something from her room and prompted me to get out in the hallway. Not even a foot out of the door, they are blowing us up in that room to some random chick. Mind you, they had NO reason to be talking about us. Their reasoning was that my friend and I came home late and made “too much noise while they were sleeping.” HELP ME NOW BC THEY WERENT EVEN SLEEPING, AS HER ROOMMATE WAS AT A PARTY THAT NIGHT AND I DIDNT EVEN SEE HER LMAO. As for my roommate, she was in her bed on her phone with the big light on. You weren’t sleeping. It was nearing 10pm on a Friday night.
I know this sounds ridiculous up to this point but it’s just hypocritical, because she would have her friend in my room or would be in my friend’s room all the time making noise. My roommate used to let her friend in early in the morning because we all had an early class together, and she would literally come and start socializing when i wasn’t even awake yet. Talk about disturbing someone’s sleep. Well anyway, this may have been wrong on my part as im being fully transparent here, but I muted her contact that day because my friend and I were about to go to the football game, and my roommate and her friend were going separately. I saw them in the lobby and glared at them when they smiled and waved because they had no clue ts I just heard them say. I partly muted her contact for the day so I didn’t have the urge to send her something nasty if Im gonna be honest. I had simply had enough of her.
Well come the next day, I’m laying in my bed feeling so alone. I wanted for the life of me to be able to be friends with my roommate, but after hearing what she said about me, it was pretty disheartening. I put a lot of work into our room. I was the only one who ever cleaned. I was the one to buy the fridge and microwave because she was out of state and I didn’t want her to have the hassle of transporting those things. I was just in a really bad headspace and missing home that I didn’t get out of bed that morning until late. Well, I start to hear fingers slamming the keypad. You don’t have to use the keypad unless you’re in a lock out situation. Here it comes…
This annihilation of a human being bursts into the room and goes, and I quote, Is there a reason you fing blocked me? (Because I wasn’t getting her calls as she was still muted). And I straight up said, yeah there actually is, I heard all the sht you said about me yesterday. The woman was too stunned to speak. But she spoke. “Still that isn’t a reason to not answer my calls. I’m not obligated to you. I swear if you touch any of my s**t, I’m gonna call the cops.”
Runs out and slams the door
Gave me no room to talk whatsoever. And what’s funny about the last part is that my roommate and her friend, while they were talking about us, did in fact touch my friends stuff as her closet was rummaged through, her shoes were messed with, her mirror was broken. Not to mention my stuff was starting to be out of place too. She was really just reflecting herself. She helped herself to all of my food, ate an ENTIRE box of chips my mom had gotten me to take to college. This chick was loaded with money too, there was no reason she was eating my food when I could barely get by.
There’s a lot of small things that happened after that. She apologized the same night but I never saw her the same after. What really burnt me was the fact I gave her a phone wallet for her student id and she never even put it on to this day. She had no reason to be locked out given the fact she wanted the wallet and never put it on. That’s entirely her fault. And up to that point, I’m honestly glad I had her contact muted. This was her karma.
Another comical karma story was when it was a Sunday or something, and I went to the library that day for 6 hours. That’s not terrible long for me for a weekend, but that day I was exhausted. I was heading back to my room when she texted me, “how much longer will you be out of the room?” because her boyfriend was there and she wanted time alone with him. He was also from out of state and would come see her. Mind you, at this point, they weren’t even in the room. They were at a sporting event. I’ve honestly had it up to this point because I would give them PLENTY of time alone all the time, whether they were on the phone together or in person. She never did the same for me, and my relationship is longer than hers.
I simply replied “well I just got back but I guess I can leave again” which was honestly kind of passive aggressive but like atp I was so fed up with her garbage. She had my location and purposely made it a big deal that I was going back to the room. I just grinded for 6 hours, and she never even told me her boyfriend was coming that day. On the way to the room she sprained her ankle and had to be taken to urgent care. Needless to say I got some sleep that day actually. But I walked into my room and her packages were thrown all over my desk, because my space was just hers i guess lmao.
Karma is real. Don’t be a terrible, inconsiderate roommate. Also here is a list of less explained occurrences that have happened throughout this unforgettable freshman year
-took multiple pictures of me while I slept
-she got so sick and coughed all over everything, blew nose loudly all night but complained when I got sick to my face
-bribed me with a stanley cup after threatening to call the cops on me for not answering her
-flooded our room with water from the bathroom when i wasn’t there and posted about it on her instagram story without even texting me about it (the water was mostly on my side and she tried blaming in on someone else)
-left old food in the fridge, the fridge that I bought (and im talking like months old food and drinks
-would call her bf for hours every day but not talk (he could just hear and see me and i wouldn’t even know he was on the phone)
-offered me to live with her next year and oddly enough backed out last second (we were on semi good terms at this point)
-would make me feel unwelcome in my own room
-would look at me weirdly if I came in during one of her day and night long phone calls with her bf
-would be loud asf while getting ready and then expected me to tip toe around her when I got ready
-posted a picture of me on her instagram complaining about having a roommate because she couldn’t cry over her chem grades with me in the room, when she never even left the room for me to do so when I experienced 2 deaths in the span of a few months
I’m sure communication on my end could have helped some, but it came to the point where it was pointless. I didn’t care for her at all. What burnt me is that she started being super nice to me the last two weeks of school which made it hard to just block her like i originally had planned. Would I look like a bad person for doing so, or is this completely validated with my experiences with her. I’ve never met someone so oddly unaware of themselves. It makes me cringe DEEPLY whenever I think about her and what I had to put up with. I also want to mention I did go to my RA and Res Director about this early on, so it’s not like I blatantly didn’t do anything about it.

So long story short, my 2009 Toyota Corolla is basically done for. I went to the dealership yesterday, looking at a new car,(used car) and we found this great car for around 15,000. So we told the guy we're interested, we get into the room, and then he starts pulling his bullshit.
When he came back with prices (I'm also still waiting to get preapproved for a loan from my bank because I needed a cosigner) the total out the door cost ended being around 20,000. In order to sell the vehicle, they needed to have some work done on it, a few thousand dollars worth of work. So they wanted to charge me for that.
My question is, can they actually do that ?That's a business expense, right? Can they really charge me for work that they needed to have done on it in order to sell it?? Needless to say we walked out anyways, but I just wanted to know if this was even allowed. Why the fuck would you advertise a car for 15,000 and then slap another 5000 on it???

this might be a lot and not the place for this but someone bear with me (22m) please ;_; was talking to my family about my experiences with magic mushrooms, and my grandfather (mom’s side) said something like “be careful, my brother had a schizophrenic episode after taking lsd- we found him rambling about the molecule and he had poorly drawn out a picture of the molecule on the ground.” but i don’t think there’s ever been a conversation about him having schizophrenia? anyway then he went on to ramble about the “this is your brain on drugs”/scrambled eggs commercials that would come on tv a long time ago. and given our family histories which i will elaborate on, i feel like this is a conversation that should have happened much sooner?? or maybe he was just talking out of his ass idk lmao
mental illness seems to run in the family on both sides with alcoholism being pretty prevalent in a lot of both my mom and dad’s relatives. my dad’s brother killed himself with a gun when they were in highschool and my dad found the body. ultimately he became a pretty abusive alcoholic, and he was really prone to mood swings looking back at it. I was put in therapy after my mom divorced him but we never really talked as a family. my older sister inherited his hip deformity that made him unfit for the catholic high school his brothers all went to, and a virus that caused her to have emergency surgery at birth (which left her deaf in both ears, and she stands 4’7” at 25 years old) he picked on her and our older brother a lot, and we all struggle socially. My brother kept to himself a lot until he died at 19 in a freak car accident on a road trip with his friends. Guy with dementia snuck out and got in a car with his dog at like 2am, took an exit ramp onto the highway going the wrong way right as they took the same one, spun out and all then all lights went out, so they got rear ended by a tractor trailer. that model of jeep had a defect where the trailer hitch would break and push in to the gas tank, causing an explosion. happened a couple times prior and was actually almost recalled years before (-: trucking company policy was call your superiors before anyone else, phone records reflected that phone call did in fact happen while those kids were burning to death. i dont blame that poor driver knowing what little i know about trucking and their work conditions, and i got half of a music degree paid for by my share of the settlement. i’ve always felt like that would not have happened if these were not several upper middle class suburban families who were affected by the tragedy, who could afford to pursue legal action for years against an entity like that. I think the community rallied to donate some but even then, it was a fairly affluent community
the last time i saw my dad was at my brothers funeral. i was 14 and it had been a couple years already, but he aged so poorly much i mistook him for his dad who had died a decade prior. i don’t think we spoke until a few years later on the phone, and it was the last time we spoke. he was antagonizing my mom with his usual nonsense that she was making him out to seem like a bad guy to us, and that she was secretly in love with her cousin (who she has always been very close to) — i told him to go fuck himself — that was a reccuring taunt of his our whole childhood, which i always thought was weird but never thought much of it. eventually my brother no longer wanted to visit my mom’s extended family once he had a say in it, and he never really wanted to talk about it either. a few years after my brother died, we were visiting the cousin in question, when i woke up just in time to see them kiss. I went back to sleep like I saw nothing and my sister texted me in the morning telling me she saw the same thing.
Apart from the yknow, incest, she remarried two years before my brother died- so naturally we confronted her about it and she just sort of fawned and said she had too much to drink and that it won’t happen again. they always get too drunk together at family events and I have glimpsed kissy face emojis and other suggestive language on her phone that she obviously was trying to shield with her hands.
Now I’m questioning pretty much everything. I don’t think it was long after that when my dad went missing, which my mom only noticed because he hadn’t sent birthday cards for a whole year, and within a year of that he was found in florida, dead on the street with fentanylin his blood. he was either dosed or killed himself. My family told me he died of natural causes accelerated by his alcoholism when it first happened and didn’t mention the fentanyl until very recently. Im wondering what else could they have they lied about or just have not told me because they don’t think I need to know?
One thing I try not to think too much about is something my mom said just once when I was little, about how when my sister was born the Doctors advised them not to have more kids bc it would be risky, “but I turned out fine” or something. My dad never came to visit our family on my mom’s side that i can remember, and when I was really little we spent a lot more time with her cousin doing a lot of quality time stuff; movies, mini golf, etc. The guy also drank a lot but he’s had better luck kicking the worst of his habits I guess.
JFC what do i make of all of this
….
i also sometimes feel like i’m getting schizo-baited by all of my targeted adds and articles on all of social media and sometimes i feel like im being watched so i don’t go anywhere or talk to my friends much at all. i went to a protest the other day and saw the typical undercover cop in his “hello fellow kids” getup, next day I step out of work to go to a coffee shop and the same dude in the same outfit is sitting next to the door when i go to leave. anyway please advise

So to start sometimes I have exploding head syndrome, loud bangs, doors slamming, screaming, yelling it can be anything. But there has been a few times where I have a dream and I began to vibrate very intense like sleep paralysis almost and it gets louder and louder and more intense. I always wake myself up cus it’s scary and I think I’m dying but for some reason I let this one ride out. I was aware it was happening and wanted to see how long I could let it go for and what would happen. As it got increasingly intense light started to appear and I found myself in a vivid garden almost. It felt warm and safe like I finally let this “vibration” take me where it wanted me to go. I think saw red and blue writing flashing by like pictures of my life and from what I understood it was every bad and good thing I’ve done in my life. I felt as if someone was with me but didn’t see anyone. That’s when I woke up.
I’m trying to figure out why this happens. The next time it happens I’m going to ride it out again and not wake up and see if this experience happens again.
Its otherworldly like it’s transporting me somewhere I wish I could explain or show you how it feels it’s it’s horrifying but because I let it go farther than I ever have I saw something eing beautiful and I only felt pure bliss and joy like I could have stayed there forever
Was this heaven? A weird dream? Mean nothing? Or something spiritual

We have made the decision to move country (within the UK) with our young family. He lived next door and two weeks ago we successfully loaded a van parked off-site with 10+ carloads of possessions.
Fortuitously, we have had somewhere to go, the time to do it (due to maternity and bereavement leave - unfortunately lost our daughter after a day of life earlier this year) and we are happy with what it means for the future for our family. We also feel we are now in a place of safety near to my family and our children have cousins etc in this area which is different to where we’ve moved from.
I am worried with how my wife is going to handle the dialogue with her dad. In order to make the move as smooth as possible we have told her dad that we are going on a two week holiday. We are at the two week mark now and my wife has had the first ‘stall’ conversation with him, saying we are extending our trip and I’m sure he smells a rat.
She feels she knows her dad best and his reactions to previous moves etc - none of which were good including physical abuse the night before we first moved in together which she covered up from me for years understandably - we were 25 and I guess she didn’t want burdening me with her trauma(s) also I don’t think I would have been emotionally mature enough to handle that back then either.
She feels to give him a long drawn out story over the summer by moving the goal posts until August then telling him we’re actually staying is best. I don’t fully disagree as I can see a benefit in drawing out the volatile reaction that will ensue inevitably.
However, and easy for me to say, but I am worried that his intuition is going to take over, that he’ll concoct a plan like faking an illness to get my wife to visit on her own (which he’s done before including when our daughter was dying and had passed away to get attention back on him). Also I am worried that it doesn’t matter when we tell him that the reaction will be equally as bad, it will hang-over heus all summer only for the same results. Should we just rip the plaster off?
The goal is to leave him the option of amicability for my wife’s sake though we know the chances of this are very low as we will be led by his behaviour and if he burns this bridge, it will be the last bridge he burns i.e. no contact will follow.
For context: I am feeling conflicted as my wife has upped sticks and left with me to my hometown with our family which is truly humbling and is the greatest gesture of love I could wish from her, however I understand that I have put her in a position that is difficult by insisting we need to get away from her father due to the following: manipulation tactics he is employing on our children, undermining our decisions, refusing to adhere to simple boundaries such as knocking the door before entering, extreme xenophobia towards me because of my lilty accent and differing culture and trying to place bets with people near to us on the demise of our relationship of £1000 (clearly the thought losing doesn’t even deter him), buying ridiculous gifts like quads for a two year old and overloading our house with toys because he knows it annoys me, betting on the gender of our children before birth, making sexually inappropriate comments to my wife like getting her a wooden dildo for our wooden anniversary. And all the other usual stuff you’d expect, some mentioned above but also overtly telling people he doesn’t like me to make sure I hear it back. Leaving the phone on after wife has finished a call and gossiping about her to his cronies. Honestly couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. Sometimes it’s good to journal. Anyway any advice or opinions would be appreciated on how to handle this.

It seems that every time I go to the Costco gas station I see some offender committing Cardinal sins against the Costco gas line and I feel like if everyone followed these simple rules, we would all have a better experience.

1. Pick a line and pay attention to when a pump opens up.

Most locations have a display that will tell you which pumps are open. You don’t need a personal invitation to pull up.
Be ready to move forward to the pump. Unless the person behind that open pump is already in their car with their vehicle started, we’re going to need you to go ahead and move your vehicle up to the open pump promptly.
Most locations utilize extra long hoses that will reach across your vehicle easily. Don’t be afraid to pull the pump to the other side if that line is shorter. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen 5 cars queued up while there’s 3 open pumps in the next line.

1. Have your card(s) ready when you arrive at the pump.

While you are sitting at the pump is not the time for you to dig through your purse, wallet, or glovebox looking for your membership and payment cards. Those should be ready to go when you arrive at the pump. You’ve been sitting in your car for presumably the last 5-10 minutes so the least you could do is have these ready. I know it will take away from you being able to watch cat videos in the queue, but it will really help everyone else out.
Additionally you should have your gas door popped when you get out of the car and you should know what gas you need. It’s Costco, there’s only two choices.

1. Be ready to return the pump when it stops.

While pumping you should be paying attention to your pump. When it clicks remove the pump from your vehicle, replace it on the island, close your gas cap and return to your vehicle. Other people are waiting so we would all appreciate if you kept it moving. If you haven’t gotten all the trash out of your car by the time the pump stops, tough luck.

1. Once you return to your car start it up and leave.

I know you have a 30 item pre trip checklist that you need to go through, do that in the parking lot. I’m so tired of people sitting at the pump for 5 minutes after they finished. There are other people who need to pump also so please take your extracurricular activities elsewhere in the parking lot.
Things you don’t need to do while parked in front of the pump after fueling include, but are not limited to: adjusting your mirrors, tuning the radio, looking through your purse or bag, feeding children, putting on makeup, making phone calls. In fact the only thing you should do is put your seatbelt on, and even that can be done on the move.
Thanks for coming to my TED Talk. I hope that these protocols can help you or someone you know not be THAT GUY in the Costco gas line.

We got all 4 shards on official duo pvp, and the old 3 shards are great, they give 15% extra damage to vampires (both players and draculin).
BUT, the Dracula shard is a tier above everything! Here is what it does
It makes you into a literal final boss
Dracula Shard bonuses:

• Same gearscore and spellpower as normal endgame amulets (but no blood drain reduction)
• 25% MORE damage to vampires (even better than the 15% of the other 3 shards)
• 25% (!!!) increased blood type efficiency (like the pure 100% blood bonus, but AGAIN). You have the purest of the pure bloods, because you are the new Dracula! You can go up to +63% blood type efficiency with this!
• The ultimate makes you invincible for its long duration!
• The ultimate deals tons of damage to many players around you, by shooting blood homing missiles
• The ultimate homing missiles inflict leech and also heal you!
• The passive attack has a chance to inflicts a literal heart strike! (10% chance to inflict a heartstrike that the guy has to dodge now with iframes)
• If any players stay near you at ultimate end, they get blasted by a blood nova

All shards you have to feed by feeding on tier 2 incursion blood bosses, and they recharge 48h of time (the maximum)
If you see the new Dracula roaming the map, beware! But also try to go for it as it is worth getting your hands on it!
Outside raid hours you can also take shards through teleporters if you have no no-teleport items on you. You can't bat form shapeshift with shard on, however.
Shards are amulets you wear now, and you can only have one on you. They don't slow you anymore, and you can't "get a buff" like before, you have to risk the shard to use the shard!
Good luck, vampires.
Become the new final boss!

[TW]: insects, SH
I woke up two days ago with two itchy bites on my ankle, and it's all been a whirlwind from there. I've pretty much convinced myself that I have bedbugs living in my bed, based on the following:

1. The two bites I've described, plus some other skin irregularities/itchy patches (the latter may be imagined) I've noticed on my body.
2. A blood patch I found on my bedsheets.
3. Something I found on the floor, which I took to be a molted bed bug shell.

Now, from a rational perspective I know I'm overreacting completely. And here's why:

1. After discovering the bites, I found a mosquito in my room. Though the bites don't look like other mosquito bites I get and were somewhere that I assumed was covered by bedding while I slept. But it's still probably the mosquito, and if not, I did sit the night before in my friend's car, who recently got a dog. It's possible they could be flea bites.
2. The blood patch looked fairly old, and by Googling it seems bed bug blood patches would be smaller and darker. It's also possible either my girlfriend or I had a spot/pimple that bled in our sleep - we both have some on our back.
3. That "shell" I found was the same colour as a bed bug, but apparently their molted shells are translucent, and this one lacked any "bug parts" (antennae, legs) and had a different texture than I would expect. Could just as easily have been a seed from a bread loaf.

Nevertheless here I am tearing up my mind about bedbugs, scrutinising my mattress constantly, and washing my clothes and sheets at 60° even though I usually do 40° because it's gentler. The bedbugs subreddit does not help because everyone over there seems as anxious as me, and every "is this a bed bug/shell/egg" post gets a few yes responses despite a real diversity in the pictures posted. The thing with bed bugs is they're practically unfalsifiable: they're good at hiding, so you don't see them, their bites vary from person to person, and they can go for long periods without feeding.
Like I said, I likely don't have bedbugs. The fear stems from a budget hotel my friend booked us in to two weeks ago, which wasn't the cleanest. But I did check the mattresses there, and they seemed to pass the test. My friend actually moved on to a second hotel after I went home that did have bed bugs, and he said it was immediately noticeable. I visited India last year, and when my friend jokingly talked about bringing bedbugs home on the return flight (we didn't encounter any) the thought played on my mind for a couple weeks, but this time is more intense.
The only reprieve I get from worrying about them is when I'm distracted, like at work. I did a pretty intense yoga session yesterday and didn't think about it once, but as soon as we brought the session to a close with a meditation, they were back all over my mind.
I also know that, worse case scenario, if I did have them, I'd have to call an exterminator and be out €2000, which would be utterly shit but wouldn't kill me. It's not like the bugs can kill me or even hurt me either. I thought about calling an inspector, but I don't want to spend all that money (and probably anger my landlord) just for reassurance.
I've always been an overthinker and have struggled with anxiety throughout my life. In the past year or two, though, I've noticed some more intrusive thoughts:

1. My ex and I had a place last year and she had a cat. One day when I was leaving for work I didn't pull the door all the way closed. My ex noticed and chewed me out (another story) because it was an indoor cat. But for months afterwards this led me to coming back to the house after leaving for work (sometimes already after walking 10 minutes), coming home early, or staying home completely. At this time I also had a depressive period and my work suffered for a few months as a result.
2. After my breakup when I moved into my new place, I put a hanging plant attachment into the roof and couldn't shake the feeling I'd hit a gas line, even after my Dad (a tradesman) told me they were unlikely to be in that part of the ceiling. I left on a work trip abroad the same day and for the first day away all I thought about was returning to a blown-up apartment. I had a similar feeling when my fridge gas pipe ruptured - I thought I was gonna die in my sleep and ventilated my flat for days.
3. I'm terrified of fire, always have been, but lately I've been unplugging things every time I leave my office because I'm afraid I'll burn the whole place down. I recently quit smoking with the help of an e-cigarette, but for the first week or two I had it I was often terrified it would explode in my pocket.
4. I had an unexplainable pain in my nether regions for a few months that took A LONG TIME to diagnose (turned out to be a muscle problem). But I was constantly anxious about testicular torsion and I wondered why doctors/urologists didn't care. At one point I remember telling myself "I think you want testicular torsion just so you know you're right."
5. When I leave my house I check my balcony door is locked and that the stove is turned off, usually only once, maybe twice. Regarding unplugging things in work, I've once sent my colleague to check something in my office after I left, under false pretenses, in the hope that if something bad had happened (a fire) they would notice and catch it in time.
6. I have - very, very rarely, probably less than 5 times in my life - been consumed momentarily by thoughts of self-harm. Mostly it's fleeting like the intrusive thought I guess everyone gets occasionally, just pushing your brain to consider the worst. However, twice - once after trying SSRIs for my depressive episode and again at random more recently - I had thoughts of slitting my wrists that scared the fuck out of me and sat with me for a good few hours.

I've been in therapy before for anxiety but stopped for a while because my therapist's son got really sick and stopped all sessions. When I look at all this, written out, I'm honestly starting to convince myself that the more likely thing going on here is that I have undiagnosed mild OCD.
However, these thoughts don't normally take over my whole day - I can usually get away from them if I'm distracted, and most of the time they don't bother me unrelentingly, just mildly. Also, besides the unplugging of electronics and checking of locks - which I do not do universally - I don't really think I have any compulsions. These are things I would expect if I had diagnosable OCD, though I don't know much about the condition or the spectrum it exists within.
What are your thoughts? Does it sound like anxiety or OCD experience? I'm planning to go back to therapy next month if I can (it's hard to get appointments where I live, especially in my native language), but do you have any tips for dealing with such thoughts by myself too?
Many thanks for taking the time to read.

"What is it with bad guys and being completely full of themselves? Montague's plan might possibly screw over Helios Island if his attack on Mount Olympus was something to go off of. And it appears he's getting as much help as he can. Staging a mutiny within the pantheon, conspiring to retake control of Helios Island... What else does Montague know that Willow and I don't? Well... I guess we'll find out soon enough, and it all starts from what the Greek Mythology would call a storied hero." Within Reckless Railways, at a local restaurant, Ableton Rinzler, Willow, Splode, and Deimos are all sitting at a table with both Aphrodite and Poseidon. Splode looks at Ableton and Willow and questions them. "So... Care to explain what's going on here? I'm kinda confused about everything that's happening right now, aside from those crazy armored guys attacking our home earlier." Ableton turns to Splode and answers him. "From what I can understand, Zeus is casting unfair judgement upon the people of Helios Island. Aphrodite and Poseidon first tried to appease Zeus by restoring the constellations to the Statue of Atlas in Mount Olympus, which didn't work. Alongside that, Montague is also planning who knows what with this whole Greek ordeal. He's begun recruiting various gods to try and take the pantheon down. Whatever he's planning, it doesn't seem good." Poseidon looks at everyone and speaks. "Alright. So everything seems kinda bad now, with that mortal recruiting gods against the pantheon. But there still is one bigger mystery. That being Pandora's Box. After it opened, and the troubles and woes were cast onto Helios Island, it suddenly went dormant. If the mortal's plan to defeat Zeus fails, he could turn to Pandora's Box as a last resort. After all, he has Medusa with him, and she's very familiar with the magic behind Pandora's Box." Aphrodite looks at Poseidon with fear and responds. "Then that means that the mortal might bring something worse onto the island. Something that might challenge Zeus on a cosmic level. Something ancient... and evil..." Ableton looks at Aphrodite and responds to her. "I got someone who can help out with our little problem with Montague." The group then leaves the restaurant, as they begin venturing towards the edges of Helios Island. From the rooftops of Reckless Railways, Montague and Medusa are overseeing the group's plan. "So those two think they can stop me? They will certainly be halted in their tracks." Medusa turns to Montague and speaks to him. "I've always loathed Zeus... But his time grows short. Together, we will make it shorter. Over the years he's surrounded himself with powerful items. A gauche show of his absolute rule. Fortunately for us, they're not his items. Most of them were made by me. Stolen from me. I think it's about time we reclaim my property, don't you?" Montague chuckles, as he holds the Shadebox in his hands. "We hold the key to starting a Greek Tragedy! Once Zeus and his pantheon are dealt with, I will soon be able to rebuild The Society and rule over Helios Island once more!" As Montague and Medusa slowly advance towards Mount Olympus, Medusa speaks to Montague. "Perseus will deal with those troubling mortals you desperately despise." Over near the edge of Helios Island, past Snooty Steppes, the group arrives at an unmarked house. Willow looks at Ableton and speaks. "This is the place, right?" Rinzler faces Willow and answers her. "It should be. Silas did say he and his Rogues ransacked a house near the edge of the island. This has to be the place he was talking about." Splode looks at Ableton and responds to him. "Alright! Let's get the party started!" Splode walks up to the door and knocks hard. Katt's voice is heard, as she speaks up. "Who's there? We're currently closed at the moment." Ableton walks towards the door and responds. "It's Ableton Rinzler. We're here to see Silas Hesk, if he's around." The door opens, as Katt walks out. "Silas is a little busy, but I'll see if he's open for anything." Everyone enters the house, as it is filled with crates, all of which are filled with weapons and ammunition. Katt knocks on a door, marked with an ouroboros, as she speaks. "Silas! Your two favorite clients are here!" The door opens, as Silas speaks up. "I can tell by the look on your faces that something's up." Ableton looks at Silas and speaks. "There's currently some conflict going on among the Greek Gods that currently inhabit Helios Island. A large chunk of which was caused because of Montague. You wouldn't happen to know how to stop a god... or several of them." Silas looks at Ableton and answers him. "I have done many bounties within my criminal career, but not one against a god." Aphrodite looks at Silas and responds. "But we're not trying to kill my father, but to quell his judgement." Poseidon then backs up Aphrodite, as he walks forward. "Zeus is casting unfair judgement upon the mortals of this island, and this crazed mortal seeks to take advantage of this. He's taken steps necessary to supposedly start a tragedy among the pantheon." Silas facepalms and responds. "Of course Montague would go to such lengths. He's probably pissed about The Society losing control of Helios Island that he's resorting to such measures. I'll lend my services to your cause." Silas then turns to Lana Llane and speaks. "Lana! We got a job to do." Lana grabs her Striker AR and assists the group in their plan. Once they exit the house, Aphrodite is quick to notice the glowing blue eyes on the statue over at Mount Olympus. She turns to everyone and speaks. "Something's happening at Mount Olympus, and it doesn't look good." Deimos looks at Aphrodite and responds. "Great... Just another problem to deal with..." A faint DMR shot is heard, as Poseidon reacts. "Everyone! Watch out! Someone must've followed us!" Over near one of The Society's forecast towers, Perseus scopes in with his Huntress DMR, as he aims for Aphrodite. "Let's see Zeus mourn the death of his beloved daughter. Medusa and the mortal cannot be stopped." Perseus fires another shot, as Poseidon puts his hand in front of Aphrodite's face. The bullet gets stuck in Poseidon's hand, as he quickly pulls it out. "Distant combat... This must be the work of Perseus, the Storied Hero." Aphrodite looks at Poseidon and questions him. "Why would he ally himself with Medusa and the mortal?" Ableton faces Aphrodite and answers her question. "Because Montague and Medusa likely promised him something if they succeeded in ending Zeus' rule." Poseidon notices a structure right near Pleasant Piazza, as he yells out. "To that structure! We can try to see what the scrying pool foretells over there." Everyone begins running towards the structure, as Perseus continues firing shots at the group and missing. They eventually reach the scrying pool, as Silas and Lana begin fending off Perseus' attack. Aphrodite yells out to the scrying pool in a worried tone. "What is going on at Mount Olympus? Why is the statue brimming with Zeus' power?" The scrying pool bubbles up, as it then shows an apparition of Zeus' Stormforged Hourglass. Ableton looks at the apparition and responds. "An hourglass? What could this mean?" Poseidon responds with fear. "Zeus' Stormforged Hourglass! It brims with Zeus' energy. If Perseus is here, then the other gods working with the mortal are likely commencing an assault on Mount Olympus." Aphrodite looks at the scrying poll and yells again. "Where is Hades and Cerberus?!" The scrying pool then projects Helios Island within the water, as both Hades and Cerberus appear to be marching through Reckless Railways on their way to Mount Olympus. Aphrodite looks at Ableton and Willow and yells. "We need to get to Mount Olympus! If the mortal is over there, he will doom us all if he gets Zeus' Stormforged Hourglass." The group then makes their way to Mount Olympus, while under heavy pursuit by Perseus. Over at Mount Olympus, hell has broken loose. Several of Zeus' minions attempt to protect the main palace, but are quickly shot down by Ares. Artemis and Apollo try to hold back Medusa, while Montague opens the Shadebox and unleashes the souls within, contaminating all the water within Mount Olympus. The souls from the Shadebox begin tampering with the water, almost matching the same composition as the River Styx. Medusa knocks down both Artemis and Apollo, as both Hades and Cerberus arrive at the battle. Montague points at the main palace and yells. "Time to dethrone Zeus and claim my rightful power!" Everyone then runs towards the palace, as they collectively confront Zeus. Montague holds up the Challenger's Staff and opposes Zeus. "Your reign over Helios Island will end, blunder god!" The group then begins their attack on Zeus, as he begins holding everyone back with several bolts of lightning. Ableton and the group arrive at Mount Olympus, as Aphrodite quickly spots both Artemis and Apollo, who are wounded from Montague's attack on Mount Olympus. Aphrodite runs towards the two and speaks. "What happened to you two?" Artemis shrivels her response to Aphrodite, as she points to the main palace. "The mortal has recruited gods to threaten Zeus' rule. Your father can't hold him back for long." A stray lightning bolt flies out of the palace, as Poseidon reacts. "We gotta get to the palace!" Everyone rushes towards the palace, as they witness Montague using the Challenger's Staff to weaken Zeus. Aphrodite yells in fear, as both Silas and Lana begin firing at Montague. Medusa and Ares protect Montague, while he tries to collect the Stormforged Hourglass from Zeus. Splode tosses some Cluster Clingers at the opposing group, until Hades shoots them out of the air with his Harbinger SMG. Cerberus fires his Gatekeeper Shotgun into the group, as Montague yells out to Ableton and Willow. "You've toiled my affairs for the last time." Montague kicks the now weakened Zeus towards Aphrodite, as he pulls out the Stormforged Hourglass. "Now! Terminal power is mine to wield! Watch as I use my newfound power to take back Helios Island and rebuild my Society!" Montague's hands now brim with lightning, as he holds the Stormforged Hourglass in the air. Lightning spews from his hand, as storm clouds form above Montague. Medusa nods at Montague, as he begins manipulating the lightning to strike near Restored Reels. The storm clouds clear, as Willow looks at Montague. "What did you do?" Montague looks at Willow without answering her, as Ableton yells. "What the hell did you do?!" Montague points to the door, as both groups head outside. Over at Restored Reels, Pandora's Box has been heavily damaged by the lightning Montague charged up. Ableton looks behind him and yells. "Montague, you little..." Both Montague and Medusa get away, as Aphrodite speaks. "What did the mortal do?" Hades faces Aphrodite and responds. "He and Medusa tricked us. He wanted power, but not just to defeat Zeus. He seeks to awaken the Titan." Deimos looks at Hades and reacts. "The what?" Poseidon helps Zeus up, as he answers Deimos. "The Titan resides within Pandora's Box. A partial piece of him escaped when the mortal first opened Pandora's Box. Now that it's damaged, he and Medusa now have a chance to unleash true ancient evil. And with Zeus' Stormforged Hourglass, the mortal now has a means to an end." Cerberus faces Aphrodite, Ableton, and Willow and speaks. "If the mortal isn't stopped, he will awaken the Titan and doom the island and Zeus' pantheon. All this to establish what he would call his perfect Society." Aphrodite and Poseidon face the group with urgency and yells. "To Restored Reels! We gotta stop that mortal from awakening the Titan!" Splode faces Aphrodite and speaks. "But can we make a stop first? I kinda need Ableton and Willow to drop me off for my afternoon TV binging." Ableton facepalms and responds to Splode. "Fine, we'll take you back and grab Stratus for this. We just gotta stop Montague before he dooms us all... again." Everyone all runs out of Mount Olympus, as the skies slowly turn black. True godlike power wasn't just normally stolen, it was elaborately stolen with destructive intent. Montague, now having powers of a god, will do anything it takes for him to rebuild The Society. Even potentially putting the entirety of Helios Island at risk, again. Oh well. Just another problem for Willow and I to solve. The secrets of Pandora's Box seeks to break free. To awaken true ancient evil.