State farm cat adjusters needed

The $1.3 billion Mega Millions lottery winner sued the mother of his child for revealing the win to his family, but now, his father is accusing him of going back on a promise to share the jackpot.
The family of the $1.3 billion Mega Millions jackpot winner is biting back in court, claiming he went against his word that he would share the lottery winnings.
"I told him... 'You are not the son I knew,'" the winner's father, a retired police chief in his 70s, said in a sworn declaration filed Friday in federal court. "He got angry, calling me a 'dictator' and an [expletive]. I have not heard from my son since, and he has not done any of [the] things he promised."
In February 2023, one lucky winner stepped forward to claim the then-fourth-largest lottery jackpot in history from the Mega Millions drawing on Jan. 13, 2023. He opted for the one-time lump sum payment of $723.56 million and would have received just over $404 million after taxes, according to the Jackpot Analysis tool from USA Mega.
Although Maine state law allowed him to claim the jackpot without revealing his name, the guarantee of his anonymity may very well change, depending on how future events between himself and his family unfold.
In November, he accused the mother of his child, who goes by the pseudonym "Sara Smith" in court documents, of letting news of the win slip to his own parents. His sister then discovered the news through the grapevine, and depending on how far along the game of telephone has progressed, it is possible more people know.
The winner, named "John Doe" in filings, said that she had signed an NDA two weeks before he claimed the prize, which stipulates she must keep the jackpot win a secret until their daughter comes of age in 2032 to keep his identity, his daughter's identity, location, and assets hidden from the public eye.
For allegedly breaking the NDA, he sued her and demanded she pay $100,000 for every person she's revealed the win to and must reveal every single person she has told.
His story has since taken a complete 180.
On May 10, "John's" attorneys filed a motion for sanctions against "Sara." He stated that she tried to publicly expose his identity, twist his image, and lie about his conduct, including accusing him of kidnapping their daughter, withdrawing her from school, and only returning her to her mother when a court ordered him to do so.
"Sara" filed an opposition to "John's" motion, supplemented by written testimony from "John's" father. Additionally, "John" had admitted to telling his father that he had won the jackpot, despite originally accusing "Sara" of going behind his back and letting the news slip.
"I made the mistake of telling my father that I had won the lottery without having him sign a confidentiality agreement," "John" said in his refiled sanctions motion.
In "Sara's" opposition, she maintains that she did not tell "John's" father, stepmother, or sister about his lottery winnings. The documents also allege that "John" had, in fact, told his father much more than just the lottery win alone.
"['John'] told him a lot more than the naked fact he had won the lottery, including the fact that he had won over a billion dollars (reduced after taxes to about $500 million), what he planned on doing with the money, and all the things he said he would do for his father (which he never did)," the filings state.
The lottery winner's admission that he was the one to reveal the win, compounded with his father's own sworn declaration in legal documents, "Sara's" motion says, is enough to shatter "the remaining shards of this suit." She believes his motivation for filing the lawsuit against her in the first place was to use his "limitless resources to bully and intimidate her to make concessions in the on-going family matter concerning their daughter."
She recalled being harassed by "John's" legal counsel and "security team," even when their daughter was not with her, calling the behavior "terrifying, invasive, intimidating, and downright creepy." She reports being constantly followed, having her and her visitors' every move tracked, finding unmarked cars outside her home, and suspects that her electronic devices are being monitored.
Her daughter's school has also asked the "security team" to stay off the school property after other parents complained about seeing them lurking about. For months now, she often hears "a clicking noise" while she is on the phone and has had "a number of unexplained dropped calls."
The final nail in the coffin, she says, is his father's supplemental declaration.
"In or around February or March of 2023, my son came to my house in [REDACTED], and informed me and my wife that he won a large amount of money in the Maine State Lottery," his father says in the documents. "I understand that my son has stated that he told me nothing about his money other than 'the simple fact that I had won.' That is not true."
He goes on to say that his son disclosed the amount he won and that he had given his girlfriend half, so they would have $250 million each. Additionally, he says his son promised on building him a garage, buying him some old hobby cars to fix up, and purchasing his childhood home from his parents, "even though I didn't ask him for anything."
"He said, 'Find out what they want for it, and I'll pay double,'" the winner's father recalls his son saying. "This is not something my current wife and I wanted to do."
According to the sworn declaration, "John" also promised to set up a $1 million trust fund for his father, which would provide a monthly stipend. He would have 24-hour care if needed so that he would never have to go into assisted living or a nursing home.
"I also understand that he has stated that ['Sara']'s speaking with me and my wife ruined the relationship between me and my son," the retired police chief continues. "That is not true. It was my son who insisted that neither I nor my wife have any communications or contact with ['Sara']. ['Sara'] is the mother of our grandchild and we have had a good relationship with her over the years. I thought she was a good mother and we did not want to turn our back on her as he insisted."
"['John'] may be embarrassed — and should be embarrassed — that the public will learn that his father effectively has called him a liar, that he filed this lawsuit because he didn't want his own family to know that he won the lottery, that he was motivated to punish the mother of his child after she rejected him notwithstanding his billion-dollar lottery winnings, that he tried to buy custody of his daughter from ['Sara'], and having failed on that score, then used his wealth to try to overwhelm ['Sara'] in this Stalingrad litigation and thus extort concessions in the on-going family dispute concerning their daughter," "Sara's" scathing rebuttal concludes. "While we understand why ["John"] would want to hide these facts from the public, the public is entitled to know why ["John's] complaint is baseless and was filed for an improper purpose."

I've (32M) been doing no contact for about 20 days after being dumped by my ex (30F). We had been together nearly two years and were literally talking about marriage a month prior. I just got this email from her. I'm not sure how to respond, if at all. She's stating there's no chance of reconciliation so I'm not sure what the point is. But at the same time I'm pissed and want nothing more than to tell her all the ways she is a horrible and immature person.
``` Hey,
I hope this email finds you in good spirits. I've been contemplating reaching out for a while now, unsure of how to start. Firstly, how are you holding up? It's been around 20 days since we parted ways, and I wanted to check in to see how you're coping. If you'd rather not hear from me, just let me know, and I'll respect your wishes completely and you will never hear from me again. If you choose not to continue reading, I get it.
To begin, I want to say I am sorry. I'm sorry for the pain I've caused you, for the breakup itself, and for the situation we are in now.
Navigating life post-breakup hasn't been easy for me, and I find myself missing you more than I anticipated. However, I want to make it clear that this email isn't about reopening old wounds or reconsidering our decision. I made a choice, and I intend to stand by it. I'm reaching out because I value you, and I want to offer whatever closure I can to help us both move forward.
As for myself, I'm slowly adapting to this new chapter in my life. Each day have its challenges, but I'm trying to learn from them.
I want to acknowledge the good times and amazing memories of our relationship. You were always honest, caring, and supportive, which I'll always cherish. You showed a willingness to do above and beyond to be with me, and I saw a significant progress over time.
Yet, despite your efforts and our mutual commitment to growth, something wasn't aligning for me. I realized that as you were evolving, I was struggling to keep pace. The discussions about our future, while necessary, began to feel draining as I struggled with my own limitations.
I remember talking to my mom that our journey together was a marathon, not a sprint, and that we'd overcome our challenges over time. However, as we entered 2024, or perhaps even before that, I started to feel myself withdrawing. I failed to communicate this effectively, and for that, I take responsibility.
As much as I tried to make things work, I couldn't ignore the growing sense of loneliness and unease I felt. Our cultural and linguistic differences, coupled with occasional incidents, created a strain that became increasingly difficult to ignore. Despite our efforts, I realized that our relationship was not fulfilling my emotional needs, and I struggled to find a balance between compromise and staying true to myself.
I had hoped that love would be enough to bridge the gaps between us, but I now understand that I was asking too much of both up of us. I was sacrificing too many of my own needs in the name of love, and it wasn't sustainable.
I suggest we focus less on assigning blame or finding solutions. There's always that lingering question of "what if," wondering if things could have been different. But from my perspective, it feels like this was a necessary step forward, regardless of any alternative paths we might have taken. Our relationship had its moments of beauty, and I would remember those memories dearly.
Moving forward, I hope we can both find peace and closure. I harbor no ill feelings towards you, and I genuinely wish you happiness and fulfillment in all aspects of your life. If there's anything I can do to facilitate this process or if you need further clarification on anything, please don't hesitate to reach out.
Wish you the best. ```

I live in florida renting a house with progress residential, the lease expires soon and Ive already signed with another apartment to move into in august. Progress and the HOA of the neighborhood are stating that we have a landscaping violation and that we need to pay a fine and to cure the sod for our front lawn. This is quoted to be over a thousand dollars. As we are all college students this isnt a trivial amount of money and im curious that since were all planning to leave the apartment in august anyway what the repercussions would be if we ignored the violation and didnt pay the fee and then left. Would the fees follow us after we leave? Would there be legal consequences as well?

So I understand that energy has been a somewhat controversial topic in the Reddit for a while. A post I found about it stated that giving infinite energy was going to tank the game, but that was from 4 years ago, and the game is much better now. The game already takes up half my screen with purchase prompts. Recently they were charging 49.99 for a cosmetic skin. But regardless, prices arnt the issue for me. I actually would prefer to complete the game myself. However, I have a lot of free time and love to play knighthood with my friends. But that is hard to do when my energy is max 255 (level 24) and it is charging my 88 energy for a wandering monster which will probably only get me like a quarter the way to the next level. And I need to level up, because I cannot beat the current next level I’m on in the story. So usually o would grind and upgrade my armouweapons, but those upgrades cost things which I need to win from hunts, which cost like 10% of my energy. The game also regenerates energy so slow, and it cost 20 gems to instant do it. I feel bad for ranting this much about I game i absolutely love, but it seems like the only reason energy exists is for the devs to make more money, and like I stated before, they were charging fifty bucks for a cosmetic skin! So like, you really need to be that greedy? I mean I really don’t have money to spend on the game, which I think is reasonable. But what I think needs to happen is there needs to be MAJOR changes in the energy system. The devs should’ve addressed this a while ago, they need to now. And best case scenario, the energy system is removed. Anyways, thanks for listening to my little rant LOL. I really didn’t want to be/sound rude and spoiled and ungrateful, but I’m just saying what I know all of us avid knighthood fans have thought many times before when we get the “your out of energy!” Prompt when trying to play a level. Let me know your thoughts guys /

Hi everyone! Tomorrow I am meeting a 15 week old Cav, and if it’s a perfect fit he will be coming home on Saturday..
I currently have an 11 (maybe 12) year old cat at home, who we have had for 8 years. She’s pretty laid back, but selective on who she likes- she loves my husband and I, but the second my dad comes over she runs upstairs. She doesn’t particularly like other cats, she’s pretty selective about them as well. There’s a few stray cats we feed, and generally she will try scaring them away from the door, except for one she doesn’t mind. I don’t know if she’s ever been around dogs, the shelter didn’t say.
Tomorrow we are looking at a 15 week old Cavalier King Charles. He has not been around cats yet, but has of course been around other dogs. We were told that he is eager and easy to please, sociable, and just a generally happy puppy. To say I’m anxious is an understatement, I am so excited but nervous at the same time. I want my cat to still be comfortable in her own home. We are going to be blocking off the upstairs completely, so our cat can access it whenever she needs to, as well as our sunporch. She has high places, a cat tree stand, stools, etc. I’m honestly probably getting myself worked up😂🥹
Any tips, or tricks to introduce to our resident cat are welcome and greatly appreciated!❤️

Hello my fellow people. I’m currently stuck in a pickle on how to make a fully automatic fish farm on PC on easy survival. I know how to create a fish farm that I personally need to grind with an auto clicker but I need help or steps on how to build an automatic grinder so I can go build up my house while it grinds for me. Any help or tips help a lot

Where can we farm them now? I need some customs transferred

he's been drinking on and off through his entire life, and nonstop for the last ten years. his body is failing. i haven't spoken to him in two years. i get updates when i'm brave enough to ask my mom how he's doing (they're divorced but speak on the phone once every few weeks). whenever i ask my mom about him i need to prepare for a new sickening piece of information. apparently she mentioned our cats - three lovely cats he spent the majority of his time with prior to the divorce, as the only thing he did for years was smoke and drink on the porch while they sat around him. he said to her, "oh you have cats?"
what kind of terrible haze does he exist in? what does he think about? what does he remember? what does he remember about his kids? should i call him at least one more time before he dies? i am so scared to hear his decline

I'm completely heartbroken and I need some perspective because I don't know if I'm overreacting or if I have a right to be this upset.
I’m a 17 year old guy, and two years ago, my parents got me Henry for my birthday, and it was like a dream come true. Henry was the most beautiful cat—he had soft gray fur, sparkling green eyes, and the sweetest personality. From the moment I held him, I knew he was the love of my life. I would do anything to make sure he was happy and healthy.
I brushed Henry's fur multiple times a day, sometimes for over an hour, to keep it silky and smooth. I used special brushes designed for sensitive cats and had a collection of grooming products to keep him looking perfect. I'd also give him weekly sponge baths with premium cat shampoo, massaging his fur to help him relax. Afterward, I'd blow-dry him on a low setting, making sure he stayed warm and fluffy. I even bought a heated towel to wrap him in after the bath to keep him cozy.
I set up a special corner in my room just for Henry, complete with a massive cat bed, plush cushions, and soft blankets. It was like his own little paradise. I put up fairy lights around the area to give it a magical feel and added a humidifier to keep the air moist. Henry had every kind of toy you could imagine, from feather wands to squeaky mice. I even got him a custom-built cat tree with multiple levels, tunnels, and a hammock. I wanted him to have the best of everything.
I'd give Henry massages every night after his sponge bath. I even bought a book on cat massage therapy to learn the best techniques for my handsome baby. I'd gently rub his shoulders, back, and legs, paying attention to his reactions to make sure he was comfortable. Sometimes I'd kiss him on the head, and yes, even on the lips because he was just so adorable. I'd whisper to him that he was the love of my life and my best friend.
Henry was more than just a pet to me—he was family. I spent more time with him than with my friends because he made me feel safe and loved. He had this way of looking at me that made everything okay. I called him "my sweet prince" because he deserved to be treated like royalty.
Then one day, I came home from school, and Henry was gone. I searched every inch of the house, called his name, and checked outside, but he wasn't there. My dad then told me that he rehomed Henry to a family friend because he thought I was too obsessed with the cat and it wasn't healthy. I was shocked and devastated. How could he do this without even talking to me first? I felt like a part of my heart had been ripped out.
My mom said maybe my dad went too far, but now it's too late. I cried for hours, and I can't even look at my dad without feeling betrayed. He says I can visit Henry, but it's not the same. It's like I've lost the love of my life, and I don't know how to move on.

Summary: Speeding slows you down, getting stuck behind a slow car doesn't slow you down much at all. I was curious about how speed affects efficiency, and realized that because high speeds reduce range, and increase need to charge, that higher speeds might actually lead to a slower overall trip for the Bolt. The results were really surprising. Calculations with a spreadsheet show the optimal speed is 70mph, but slower speeds like 60mph are only very slightly slower overall. In fact, there's less than a 1% difference between any speeds between 60 and 75mph. Here are the assumptions:
​

• 40KW/hour charging rate.
• 80% of battery used (so, 10% - 90%)
• 15 minutes overhead for charging (getting off highway, finding charger, waiting for open slot, etc)
• kW usage for each speed was determined by:
  • driving on a flattish highway, in one direction
  • using cruise control
  • waiting until kW usage stabilized
  • taking several photos of dashboard, and recording numbers later.
  • averaging the kW shown in the photos for a specific speed.
• A more accurate estimate could be achieved by driving on a windless day, averaging over a longer period of time, and being on an absolutely flat road.

I divided the range for a specific speed by time to drive + time to charge, which yielded a net speed.
​

Real Speed	Net Speed
55	40.1
60	41.9
65	42.2
70	42.2
75	41.9
80	40.1
85	39.5

I put my data and calculations in a spreadsheet. You can make a copy and adjust assumptions and values yourself.
Conclusion: Safe driving is fast driving. Fast driving is slow driving.

I just want to say,
I am truly blessed to have been able to know you and spend time with you. Even though at the time I thought we had forever, I know that not all things are meant to last in this life.
From the first time I met you I remember truly being infatuated in a way no one else had made me feel before. And when it didn’t work, I thought maybe we were destined to be star crossed lovers in some tragic romantic way. But when you came back into my life 10 years later, I thought I would be ready to get it right this time. Maybe we were just waiting for the stars to align.
Unfortunately, I guess we weren’t ever meant to be. Maybe if I started working harder and finding a purpose earlier in life. Or maybe if you didn’t have a child to raise now, who knows? But in this life, it wasn’t part of the plan.
You said that being around me made you feel like you had to dull yourself. I’m sorry that instead of making you shine, my personality somehow made you dim your light. I guess you needed someone more exciting, someone more outgoing. You needed a golden retriever, when I’ve always been a black cat. I’m sorry that I made you feel like you had to dilute yourself and suppress your personality when with me.
Some of my favorite memories are the simple ones. Like every time you tried to interact with the stray cat who decided to choose my front yard as his new home. 90% of the time he’d give you no reciprocation, and you’d do that eye roll you always do when you’re annoyed. That was my favorite expression of yours. It’s the same one you’d do when I told a stupid joke, or said something dumb, or I was purposely being a dick.
I’d see your eyes light up when I made you a card or gave you a gift, to show you how special I thought you were. You told me your love language was gifts and acts of service, maybe I should have done more of that.
Unfortunately I had a late start in life, and I’m still trying to figure it out. I’m not able to get you all the things you want or take you on trips. The consequences of a failure to launch. It’s no one’s fault but my own. I dont talk about my struggles, my financials, or anything I'm going through. We all know men dont like to show weakness. But I was doing all I could, tried to plan accordingly, I just didnt have the financials to give you anything more.
I wish that i knew when it was you decided I wasn’t the one for you, maybe I would have tried harder or cherished our time together more. I threw out all the photos and letters, deleted all the pics. How were you unhappy when in all the letters and messages you were singing my praises? You looked happy to me. Yet you were apparently looking for an exit the whole time, thats hard to grasp.
There will probably always be a part of me that still loves you, and one of my biggest regrets in life will be that I somehow fumbled you and was not able to keep you in my life. I’ve accepted the fact that just because I love someone, doesn’t mean they are obligated to love me back. And just because from my perspective I was doing everything right and everything I could, I know that you didn’t have to see it that way. I know that you dont have to wait for me to figure my life out. And you arent obligated to teach me how to love better. I just thought thats something you WOULD do.
I hope one day I can look back at this and see the good times without feeling like there’s a knife in my chest. I pray that you find whatever it is you’re looking for. Maybe one day you’ll look back and see I tried my best too, and appreciate all the ways I tried to show you I cared in my own way. A product of my environment I suppose, I didnt grow up with a lot of love being shown. No birthdays, no hugs, no kisses, no feelings. I didnt understand how to do that.
I heard you might be seeing someone else already. Its only been a month. I was supposedly your best friend, you supposedly loved me, I guess that was all talk. You tossed me aside without even a conversation. Thats pretty shitty to me, but I dont want to think about it anymore. You said you'd be happier without me, so it is what it is.
I know we’ll never see each other or speak to each other again, but hopefully putting these thoughts into the universe will somehow get to you on a spiritual level, and that’s good enough for me.
I’ll see you in another life, when we’re both cats.

I feel horrible even typing this. Ever since my little boy turned 8 months old, he's been... Extremely emotional. He needs to be held 24/7, and I don't hold him that much. Because if I do he gets extremely used to it and will scream for it. I know he's just super curious of the world around him. Life just feels really overwhelming for me right now. Husband and I are in marriage counseling. We are also in the process of moving homes. another reason why we can't just allow the baby to freely explore right now. He I think is sleeping through the night unless I'm just not waking up from it. He doesn't nap for longer than 10 minutes at a time. I just want to be able to rest. But I'm always go, go , going. Everything just feels overwhelming! I have Bpd, I have hypothyroidism (so not only am I tired no matter how much sleep I get, but I'm also emotionally exhausted 🫠). My baby just cries and whines all day. Especially from 2pm-6pm. I don't know why. Nothing is good enough for him. He just WHINES and it's like nails on a chalk board to me at this point. It's all day. Everyday. And I know he's bored. I GET IT. But it's been either raining, disgustingly hot outside, or storming and we can't go to the park on those days. And the laundry is piling up and the dishes need to be done and the dog needs to be walked and the cat needs to be fed and all while the baby is screaming in the background I'm just AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh 😭😭😭😭😭

I need to adjust the keys on my guitar but I can not find which sized Allen rench will fit

Hello beautiful people of Reddit! this is my first post here; this is a long story to buckle up!
So this all starts in 2018, my (24 female) brother (28 male) are very close, he met a woman at his job at the time, let's call her Jamie (Female 28) at the time. In the beginning, she seemed very sweet, she had a dog that was her everything, she took care of the dog like a baby, so everything seems to be going well, now enter 2019, Jamie announces that she was pregnant, something that she had claimed was impossible due to her PCOS, (I too have PCOS and it is rare for it to render you 100% infertile) so 9 months later, Jamie gives birth to a baby boy whom we will call Jackson, right after this, Jamie gets very sick, she can barely get out of bed and is miserable. At the time of Jackson's birth, they lived in a trailer while my brother saved for moving out of state. Now Jamie decided that it was mold causing her symptoms, so she had my brother build her an ADU where she locked herself and their son up almost 24/7 because she didn't want him to get dirty.
After about a year, the three of them move up to Washington, during that time, Jamie becomes a hypochondriac, she starts neglecting her dog and getting very anxious about her partner's whereabouts. After almost one and a half years, my brother finds a home that he can afford, but Jamie's first words about it were " But it's not a nice brand-new house" the home was built in the 1960's and perfectly fine.
Now during all of this time, Jamie has become a helicopteiPad parent, especially after Jackson has been unofficially diagnosed with Autism, in its early stages she said " I am so happy he has autism, because it gives me a purpose again" Over the next three years, Jamie insults me, my parents, my brother, all while spending his money like water, she would spend around $1,500 on every birthday party, if Jackson bullied another kid, she didn't correct him, she never encouraged him to say any words,, no manners, she would always say " He is so smart, he will start doing fill in the blank when he wants to" . She would belittle, insult and control my brother all the time, if he wanted to take a few hours to himself, she would blow a fuse, and or come up with something she needed help with like opening a jar.
So after years, I decided to distance myself from her for my own sanity, I call my brother on the weekends and catch up, but I cannot stand to be around her and their dumpster fire of a son, I love my brother so I do my best not to rock the boat and make things hard for him, but I have to pull away from her for my own sake.
So Reddit, Would I Be The Ahole?

I'm running PMAX for a dealership with 5 locations across the state. I want to upload a Customer Match list, but I'm not sure about geography. All of our customers share the same attributes, so as long as Google is just looking at that, and not where they're located in relation to the store, I'm golden. If they start showing ads to someone 4 hours away from a store because they matched 500 people in that area - I'm wasting money, Does anyone know if that's the case? Do I need to separate the customer lists by the stores they are nearest? Thanks!

I'm about to start applying to OT school, and Ohio State University (OTD) is my top choice (like, the only school I wanna go to). But at the same time I'm super intimidated by the doctorate. And frankly, I know that I don't really need the doctorate for what I want to do (or at least as I know right now) - I want to work with neuro patients / eventually specialize in pelvic health
BUT I want to challenge myself and I love what OSU's program offers and it'd be badass to get a doctorate.
also, a bit more context, I suffered a TBI a few years ago and while I've almost fully recovered I'm still quite insecure about my intellect and I feel like I'm not someone who can complete a doctorate because my brain doesn't work as well as it once did....
Essentially, would just love to hear people's experiences in the field with a masters degree vs. doctorate. I also know that most programs are transitioning to doctorates in the next few years anyway, AND I've been told the pay doesn't increase based on the degree you get.

Don't get me wrong. I'm truly curious, and this question I've been carrying for over a year.
Im a 30 m
Objectively I have lived a terrible odds stacked against me from the start. I was born to a father that took my mother faraway to a farm and isolated us he was quite the abuser with my self going Tru all 5 different tipes my siblings 4 and the youngest only 2 I was the only one that was s## abused. From as Yong as I can remember I plead my mother to leve. Turned in to a super Cristian thus a wife's purpose is to be subject to her husband. Evan though she also went true all 5 she was even r## infront of me.
I mentioned we grew up on a farm in isolated he would work construction jobs all over Africa so most of the time we would be left alone. Work 4 months home 6 weeks the first day that he is back he cums with takeaways and cool drinks and it's a celebration it would normally only be calm for 2-3 days when he would get angry normally before we were to go buy groceries. Witch ment we will have to put that car together and fix it that's normally tha first day that I would blead if it's not from a tool it's because I woed gow far into the field to hide then it would be his lether belt my but would be blue And red brushe sometimes my skin woed split open and blend every time I moved.
The first time I saw a classroom or a teacher was at the age of 13 we got a tv for the first time at the age of 12 so obviously I had no sosial skills it was just a few days a group of bullies introduced me so that was not fun until a few months later when the hieschool librarian looked over our class.
My mom dit taught me to read and math and science (only biblical accurate) so I started reading at 4 at 5 I was at the level of gr3 had to develop my own horrible handwriting. I was good at math though my mom only knew +×÷- and fractions to the second point
The library was my heavin in 3 years personally I graduated done with every book in the library besides most of the story books The problem was I couldn't really speak English I only got exposed to it from the TV so I was on my way to fail Gr6 I didn't during the last term my dad left for work again but this time it was longer we ran out of food and my mom finally ran away with her 5 kids pregnant and starving all the food we had fit into a shoe box and ther was space for my brothers favorite little teddy 🧸 about the size of a tennis ball
We moved to the city we're I found out my mom has siblings thy help us with some basic it was crazy there I could not even cross the streets thy were 3 lanes mutch to wide for a teen cross with out getting run over starting high school I decided I would be the opposite of my history so on the first day I broke the head boy a rather big rugby player nose. That showd them I was never bullied and yet still not cool so I joined the skateboarders I was terrible but they had issues and I'm nothing but broken metal head started smoking never touched weed that's drugs glue as well it makes youcrazy. Though sometimes we would snort white power at the mall. Only after a few months in class I found out there are more tips of drugs. To late now I'm a cat addicted our group grew and we became the popular group we were 40 in the core group if we threw a party 200 people show up I mean some college students started hanging with them college girls hang with me at 17 so obviously the heiskool girls thru them at me nonstop sleeping with 2-3 a night never not wrapped always save. Until I slept with one I actually cared for but not as much as she for me so to get here to disappear I seduced her sister on her bed so she could walk in on that. 3 day later she was found dead in the bath with a letter to her parents on their bed and a long letter for me in her sister underwear full of her blood for me.
My next relationship was my fiance Finally quit drugs 3 years later Completely thought ow yeah remember that I was so smart well turns out I failed gr 9 almost twice shortly before the second time time my mother lost her job I was still partying her savings didn't last we got evicted ran out of food so I quit school and started buying thing from drug dealers and sell them it wasn't long before I afforded a bigger house some time later I moved out paying 2 rents going crazy the drugs were not fun any more my friends are dieing on after the other some go to prison I fought my best friend. I saw what was happening because of the drugs I walk 70 km that weekend faar into the field to escape only with my knife. Not the plan but I lived there for 3 weeks alone my phone is still there somware I came back sober no friends
I didn't fin school so it's only min wage for 3 years trying multiple business all fail until I lost my job again. One day I dit a car port for a lady little did I know that in justover 7 years 2 months before covid i will loos. A my greatest business in going to 8 figure this time 100% legal in one writing of a pen and waist all my saving on loyars to get it back lost my fiance and only child
Went into depression
tryed and failed 3 more business Good diagnose with add and adhd Over came depression Diagnosis with ptsd Found out my 5 year old son is not evan myn Depression again Gave up trying at all tried drugs again for 2 months give up on that two
Move back to the farm where it all started farm is falling It's sort off failng less
Depressioni quit low
And finally today im bulding my own shop with bricks i made my self everything wants to fail this sometimes its so close.
And yeah true all of that's I can honestly say I never had suicide Evan as a though to be a option
Seriously why would I not just end me but I just don't have that option ever

My cats arm is broken and the vet says he needs surgery asap since the little guy is still growing. The issue is i don’t have the money and i haven’t been able to be approved by care credit. He has a cast on and other than his arm he’s completely fine, i’m just worried that if i don’t get the surgery by the two week mark of his injury like the doctor said he will be permanently disabled. How bad will his quality of life be with a malformed arm? I really can’t afford to fix it right now but i really don’t want him to be disabled..

Also on AOAIBetrayeds. is an online peer support group and safe space reserved for betrayed individuals who are considering, actively attempting to, or have reconciled after infidelity. If you feel you would benefit from a more private supportive sub for only betrayed people, message the mods at or send me a DM.
tl;dr's at the bottom.
From MY perspective.
Context: Me: 59m. Her: 55f. Married 33 years, together 36. WW had a full on EA bookended with multiple sexual PA's (1 in Dec, 2022 and 3 in Sept, 2023 (last 2 on Dday). She then pretended to go NC with AP for an additional 5 months which created Dday #2 in February. Read my story and updates using my profile for posts if you want to see background.
https://www.reddit.com/useDiscardbobulated/submitted/
UNDERSTANDING
Betrayal is destructive. Betrayal is debilitating. Betrayal is painful. It hurts not just our relationships, but our minds, our bodies, and our souls. It crushes us in ways we did not know we could be crushed.
It changes us. It changes our minds, our bodies, our outlooks on life, and so much more.
Betrayal steals from us. It steals our ability to trust. It steals our innocence. It steals our confidence, our self-esteem, and our calm. Betrayal steals our ability to feel joy.
You know what it does to us that is maybe the most egregious thing? It makes us feel like NO ONE UNDERSTANDS.
I have spent a lot of time on this sub and I have read a lot of stories of pain and suffering. I have also been the one in pain. The one suffering. I’m still hurting. I still suffer. The betrayed, like me, read books, listen to podcasts, watch videos, and read articles. And you know what most of them do, myself included? They SHARE these materials with their spouses.
WHY? I feel like a huge part of why they do it is to share the part of the writing/podcast/video that mirrors or somehow explains how they are feeling. They want their spouse to know what it is they are going through.
And why do they want to do that? Why is it so important? I think it is because the betrayed are desperately trying to understand their own feelings as well. They are trying to categorize the pain. They are trying to understand an incredible array of brand new and completely overwhelming emotions they have never experienced before. And when they read that what they are going through is NORMAL and the THEY are NORMAL, they want to share that because it is a huge relief to find out that this new insanity is not, in fact, insanity at all.
I am one of these people. I have watched the videos, listened to the podcasts, read the articles and the books.
You know how a lot of books about infidelity or betrayal trauma start out? They start out with an explanation of all these new emotions. They start out describing the emotions in stark terms like I have used here like debilitating, devastating, or painful. They also throw in descriptions of the pain and the suicidal ideation that often accompany these drastic emotions. I think these books start with this because this helps to satisfy the most IMMEDIATE need of the betrayed: To feel like someone UNDERSTANDS.
So we read these books, and we give them to our spouses to read. I highlighted the parts that I felt helped to explain what I was feeling. There were A LOT of highlights. That’s because the feelings are so common among the betrayed. There are variations of course, but each of us feels a lot of the same things.
The feelings run the gamut. In no particular order: Low self-worth Suicidal ideation Physical pain Anxiety Fear Depression Feeling stupid Impending doom Sadness Embarrassment Shame Feeling like a chump Numbness Betrayal
Hatred Anger Self-Esteem issues Distrust Hopelessness Loneliness
And what we want is for those who are our support people to understand these feelings. And often the most important person we feel needs to understand is our spouse. After all, if they do not know how we feel, they cannot help us to recover. The problem is, that even we as the betrayed have never had these feelings to the extreme extent that we now have them. We probably have never felt them all together at the same time before. We have read about these feelings. Each of the above listed feelings is something that we know of when we read it. But we had no idea of the INTENSITY of each of them and how they can be intertwined to create an insurmountable-feeling array of emotion that is near-impossible to articulate.
So we seek someone else to articulate these feelings and emotions in a way that makes sense. We read the books and the articles and listen to the podcasts. And when the speaker or writer gets the words right to explain how we are feeling we want to point to those words and show our spouse and say: “Look! I’m NORMAL! I feel this feeling like the book says betrayed people feel! Now can you understand?”
But we know that if WE read these descriptions without having been betrayed, we would never, EVER have truly understood the DEPTH of the feelings. The VICIOUSNESS of the emotions. The sheer debilitating devastation of what these feelings are doing to us. And if we could not have imagined this intensity, then we KNOW that our spouse cannot POSSIBLY imagine the intensity either. Even if we said: “It’s like sadness only REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY BAD sadness.” That’s not going to portray the gravity of the sadness we know inside that we feel. That’s because the WORDS are not FEELINGS.
So we come here to subs like AOAIBetrayeds or SupportForBetrayed or others desperately seeking other people who may UNDERSTAND how we feel so that we can truly know that WE ARE NORMAL. And it’s not that the WORDS are any different in one of these subs than they are as written by some PhD Author who has supported those with infidelity trauma. The words are exactly the same. But the knowledge that this other stranger on the sub has ALSO been betrayed gives us comfort that they have the CAPACITY to ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND. Again, it’s because WE KNOW that WE OURSELVES could not possibly have understood prior to our experience of being betrayed. We knew the WORDS, but we did NOT understand the FEELINGS the way we do now. And we know those who haven’t been betrayed can’t have what we really need: Empathy.
EMPATHY
In our desperation to have our primary support person have real empathy, we read more books. Share more passages with them, and tell them every day how we are feeling. We cry in front of them. We writhe in pain in front of them. We express depression, our feeling suicidal, our pain. We ask them if they understand. They tell us they do, but since we fully understand that no one can ever really know without having been there, we are not satisfied. And because we are not satisfied, our traumatized brain tries to find other ways to convey our need to have our spouse TRULY empathize with us. One of those ways is to lash out at them. To make sure that they have a full understanding of how bad a person they are. How their decisions and actions have created havoc in our lives. How they are selfish, thoughtless, pigs. They are bad spouses, bad parents, bad sons and daughters and brothers and sisters and friends. We blame, finger wag, blame, scream, blame, and completely unleash upon them every bit of vitriol we can muster to throw at them. We do this because WE WANT THEM TO HURT LIKE WE HURT. We want EMPATHY. It doesn’t work, of course. Because deep down we understand the truth. And that truth is that those who have not been betrayed, cannot, and will never, truly understand what it is to be betrayed and the depth and gravity of the devastation that it causes. It’s just not possible.
So we have a thought: If only the betrayed can understand, and we need them to understand, then we could take it to its logical conclusion: We need to BETRAY THEM. This is where REVENGE CHEATING becomes a thought. The idea is, of course, that if we could only betray them sufficiently, then they would UNDERSTAND how we feel and finally be able to have true EMPATHY.
The problem with that is: The wayward spouse is not a fully trusting, loving, blindly believing spouse. They are not US. They will experience the revenge cheating differently than the blindsided betrayed experienced the cheating that destroyed them. It is not possible for the cheater to understand the emotions of the betrayed. Not even if they are cheated on.
The very basic bottom line is that we betrayed want to be UNDERSTOOD. That understanding would be easy if our wayward spouses could just spend 10 minutes in our brains. 10 minutes of real, pure experience of what we are experiencing would be invaluable. Unfortunately, no device has been yet invented than can allow them that horrible privilege.
We want other things too. We want our spouses to apologize. We want them to feel some feelings that we know should come from someone who caused us the devastation that we are living through. Feelings like shame, guilt, remorse. We want from them atonement. And all of these things would be SO EASY for them to be able to feel if they truly UNDERSTOOD us and had real EMPATHY. Unfortunately, as I said earlier, that’s impossible. They can read the descriptions, but they’ll never feel the feelings.
So what are we to do?
You’re going to hate this, but after all this reading, I’m going to say…I don’t know.
I think the necessary step to start with is to really explain to your spouse how you feel. Explain to them using your words or allow them to see you cry, or wail, or whatever it is you feel so that they can experience as much as possible.
Then give them the books, the podcasts, the videos and the articles. Show them that the words you are using to describe your experience are not those of an outlier but are NORMAL. That these feelings are ACCEPTABLE and EXPECTED. Then you have to just let them come to some conclusions on their own about how they feel about what they have done to you. “Patience you must have, my young Padawan.*"
*I am working on my own capacity for patience. I'm not good at it.
I am at a place today where I have started to wean myself off the destructive circular pattern of blaming her, complaining to her, explaining my pain, the repeating that circle. Complain, Explain, Blame, Complain, Explain, Blame. I have finally reached a place where, at least tentatively, I have come to feel like I have asked all the questions that need to be asked. I have also explained to her my pain to the extent that I can. As I stated above, true and full empathy will never be possible. For now at least I feel like I understand that and can rest assured that to the extent she can, even if that extent is woefully under the extent that I wish it was, she understands.
One thing I did to get to this place was write down all of the questions I could think of. I wrote down questions like: What time of day did you go to his place for sex that day? Were you sober? What made you go there? What were you thinking? And I wrote down the questions that I know I don’t want answers to. Sexual details. Positions, acts, etc. I have already asked a few of those and have found that they have caused disturbing mind movies with me. I needed to ask them though, because prior to asking, the questions themselves were rolling around in my head and not allowing me to sleep. Your mileage may vary.
I have set aside the questions that I know would haunt me depending on their answer. I have also come to the conclusion that a lot of the questions could only cause me harm, like: Was the sex better with him than with me? If she answers YES, then the damage of that is obvious. But if she answers NO, I will likely be forever convinced that she was probably lying. And lies are, as we all know, a huge scourge to us. These questions will never be asked.
I have now explained how I feel enough times to feel like she understands as well as she possibly can. I have told her repeatedly of how much pain she has caused so that I think she understands that also.
There is nothing more that I can do on these fronts. For this reason I’m going to stop with the circular pattern. I’m going to try to be calm. I’m going to try to not lash out. I’m going to try to not blame.
I truly UNDERSTAND that I have done all that I can on this front. Hopefully I am right.
Fuck these affairs.
TL;DR’s: We all want to be UNDERSTOOD. It is the primary need of the betrayed and is in some ways impossible. Projecting anger and vitriol at your WP will reach a point of diminished return. When you get there, be ready to accept that and try to move to another stage in your recovery.