I know this is all too much like.
If youre interested in knowing what's going through my head when I'm making shit like this its that before hannah, I was on my own for so long (5 years to be exact). So long that I had completely convinced myself that I was happier on my own and I just completely devoted myself to being the best person I could be on my own, money success whatever the fuck. I thought if I just kept my sole drive on that that I could accumulate enough resources to help out a few people that I care about and generally be the Uncle Phil of the group.
Then hannah showed me attention and latched onto me after stuff went south with Liam, and you know, I did the charming white knight good listener thing with her and for the first time it worked, a girl actually fell properly in love with me it felt like, so much that at the start I was the you in this situation, not replying for a few hours cos I'm doing stuff only to reply later and she responds straight away. And it felt amazing. So many people fall for you I've heard, I can only imagine what you feel like.
All my past relationships have had the hallmark of me caring more about it than them and I finally thought with hannah I'd found someone who can match my energy like that, maybe even surpass it. So for her to leave me as soon as I reminded her of her ex the tiniest bit. After shed told me that I deserved love and that she'd always be there for me. After spending 2 months fully convincing me that I didn't have to be alone anymore. After fucking filling my head with dreams shed apparently had about blonde kids cos of my hair, she just moved straight on and acted like it was nothing. (I'm playing the tragic hero here obvs but this is real life and I wasn't blameless either; I did a song about it, one of my better works imo; "another fucked love")
Anyway it fucking broke me. It broke me in this weird crazy artistic way which I'll probably look back and appreciate but i still broke. I put all my faith in this one support system, finally thought I could be the one having love to spare for once just to have it all ripped away. Like I tattooed our relationship on the journal of my life and now even if I rip out that page I'm gonna remember I did it. There's still gonna be a gap in the spine of my story. I'm good at hiding it with the male bravado and shit but I'm still broken now.
But it's weird like, through that relationship, me and you would have the occasional encounter when you were with Andy and you'd notice the little weird things I was doing like the economies of scale thing and the lil toy dinosaurs in andys living room, nugget in the biscuit at james' party, even tiny stuff like you giggling when I repeated the colour of the bow of the box I was imagining to tish outside duffys and dancing when I sang a snippet of s club 7. Stuff hannah, the apparent love of my life, didn't even pick up on (yhyh I know she wasn't there for that last 2, this is the 2nd draft stfu).
Ik it's only a few small things but I look at how we interact and I can't help feeling that you're on my wave length, like we both understand the implications of us having a conversation as "the guy and the girl" where it might be a bit flirty and meet cute-y and both know how to take the piss out of it. Cat and mouse lol. I try to be someone that's entertaining for my friends to be around cos I want to make them happy and it feels like you are too.
And listen right, I'm not declaring my love to you with this. I'm not about to launch into some weird limerick about your emerald eyes or some shit, I only do the physical appearance complimenting in stuff like "Come With Me" cos I wanna take the piss out of the cliche.
I don't know if we'd work together. It'd be a dream come true to have something like that, where both of us are spontaneous asf and ready to go at the drop of a hat. We'd wear each other out most likely, but it'd be a LOT of fun.
But tbh idec. Not really. I just wanna be your friend and get to know you a bit more. I just wanna walk around with you on some dumb chilled errand and talk shit and make fun of eccentric strangers we see going about, maybe even strike up a convo with them.
Its just confusing because (and ik the answer to this is just that you're popular and youre with people most of the time, I noticed that in my car you barely went on your phone, you live in the moment & I love that, sidetrack over) because I don't know if you feel any of the things that I'm feeling.
Like Im a twat and make our dms look imbalanced asf but then when we have our lil chats in my car (lovely girl, I noticed you paused to admire her for a second when I pulled up to stonergay) or outside a pub (that guy that came over to talk and then just ignored you lol wtf) I can't help feeling that it's the best conversation I've had all week, full of little in jokes and us just winking at each other knowing the game were both playing. You have that social awareness that is so rare in people these days, social media has eroded self awareness but you see it and you sit back and laugh at it all. Me too. But there's not that many people like that.
So that's why I'm doing all this. I'm trying to impress you in a way that you'll enjoy (weird musicy shit, although in fairness I was rapping before to deal with stress from my job and I've recorded a lot of music in general in my lorry, like 3 hours worth) and to tell you that I think, as friends, lovers, acquaintances, weird unrequited love triangle people, whatever, we could make each other happy. You've already made me achieve heights in my strange comedy/art that I never would have dreamed of. Just because your aloofness is so fucking enticing (like it literally inspired me to write a song about girls who are aloof in general, that's the "couple lines" I was referring to in that written rap I did. I was hoping to record it the next day but yknow me, scatterbrain till I die).
Let me put it another way just in case you don't understand. The day I helped hannah move her stuff in (ngl she arranged everything but I packed my car and put all the stuff in her flat myself, it's kinda my dayjob after all), she was in a mood a lot of the time and stressed etc cos no one came to help us and she went sleep early and I stayed up to smoke. I went a few streets away and smoked a lil spliff and tried composing a few more lines to this song I'm working on to go with this sick techno tune (Energy Drink by Virtual Riot if you're interested). And I got a bit adventurous and started walking.
She lives next to Narborough road and I ended up in beade park at like 5 in the morning, sun just coming up. I saw this slide that I'd been looking for ever since I was a kid. I took a pic I'll show you next time I see you. Always captivated my imagination cos it was so tall and it looked like a spaceship. I hadn't seen this slide since i was like 5 and I was blown away for a moment. And I wanted to share it so I called hannah and obviously she was half asleep and asked me why the fuck I'm calling at that time and I told her and she asked why I felt the need to wake her up to tell her that and my heart broke a little and I said "I just wanted to share this moment with you", apologised and hung up.
I wondered what the response from my "one" would be to that phone call. Several people crossed my mind and what their responses would have been. Then I thought of you and I realised I wouldn't have to call cos you'd probably be right there beside me on this weird walk, egging me on to climb up there and go down it (which I did, was on my own but I had Taylor swift singing in my headphones about being 22 and shit cos life's too short to ever fully grow up).
It's possible (shit, almost certain) that you're not into me at all and maybe even the things I'm feeling are just a weird interpretation of what I'm feeling for losing hannah, but whatever I tell myself, I can't lie about how I felt when you noticed those things before. You see the jokes in between the lines of the funeral letter. I've spent my life looking for someone like that. You understand and appreciate why I'm making what I am, a lot of people would have blocked me after the number thing. So sorry if I'm shooting my shot in an overly showy way but youre really cool and I just want to be happy. And I want to know if you're getting any of this weird feeling shit on your end, cos that would confirm whether this is something or not (friendship, fancying, whatever, I have no idea how you see me tbh).
So yeah opinion plz, in your own time ofc. Doesn't matter what you sing, I'm not gonna tell you what I want you to say now, say whatever init.
Or don't.
Im going San Francisco next month to see Jordan so I've got plenty to keep me occupied 😂 maybe you'll call me up and ask me to book you a ticket, Teenage Dirtbag style (lol yeah right keep dreaming bro, it's funny how I can be so twisted yet so naive at the same time).
Dw, my weird postmodern gen z mating dance is over, the ball is officially in your Court (see what I did there? Ngl I'm a sucker for callbacks) .
Please be honest and straight with me if you do get in contact, if there's nowt on your end then I'd rather just completely put it out my mind now and focus on doing something else. I'm not asking for a relationship right away, neither of us are ready for that rn but just let me know if you enjoy our chats as much as i do. You probably don't (no one ever does, wah-wah poor me etc) but I don't wanna settle for grey concrete reality if there's even the slightest chance my vibrant squishy* dreams could come true ¯_(ツ)_/¯
Sincerely, with a moderate amount of affection that puts across how I feel without making me look desperate,
PS. Okay, maybe I'm not completely done just yet. I'm gonna block you on here cos otherwise I'll drive myself insane trying to top the last thing I did, and I just had an idea for how to end it properly (assuming you don't contact me, hopefully you do but it's all cool and dramatic to pretend this is it, Romeo & Juliet shit ygm).
Quick sidenote, if we don't talk again then I want you to know that I did this because you're special (needs(haha)) nah but fr. If you ever feel down about where your life is going or something you've done, just remember that once upon a time, someone made cringey art spanning visual and audio mediums, just to get your attention 😂 I don't do this for just anyone, I hadn't even written a song for a crush before I met you.
You're sick girl, never forget it.
Watch the video underneath these screenshots. Haven't actually made it yet, hope its good.
I'm in my lorry writing this (not enough time to get back to the yard so I'm spending the night in a layby in Crawley, just ordered the shit I'll need for the video. Got a lil forest next to me, might have a lil explore after I've eaten).
Funny, right? This is gonna be over a couple days for me but for you it'll be as quick as you can flick between these pics and the video underneath.
Can you see why I like doing this now?
Hello from history! 😊
See ya over there (future for me, past for you) 🤙
*no that's not a joke about your tits, I've matured ofc bro

Vanderpump Rules is a hilarious comedy about what happens when attractive people are accidentally ensnared in Lisa Vanderpump’s tacky trap, and drown under the weight of her cast-off pink flowers. The first season was basically perfect reality tv, and after endless rounds of weird slap-fights and short-term marriages, it appeared to be down to its dying embers, until an unscheduled cheating scandal allowed the show to rise like the phoenix tattoo from Ben Affleck’s back.
“Look, I had a problem with alcohol,” Ben wishes we’d quit reminding him.
With the scandal a hot headline, Bravo scrambled to grab their cameras while everyone was still bleeding in the street, and when it came time to edit, they knew this season wouldn’t be rage-bait unless they anchored it in misogyny.
“I thought we were going to be like the Spice Girls,” Ariana frets. “I was hoping I’d get to zigga-zig-ah.”
“Ha! Turning women against each other is why I wake up in the morning,” Andy Cohen pauses eating a baby long enough to sip from a glass of drunk housewife tears.
April kicks off with Ariana still adjusting to the opportunity and income upgrades birthed from total life upheaval, while the vultures in her network circle the sky for scraps and squawk their way into the narrative. Her ex Sandoval shuffles in platform shoes to embrace his Charlie Brown remorseless redemption arc. This is tricky to sell, since he can’t even perform giving a shit, so he comes off more sociopathic than a serial monogamist who can’t exit a relationship without a lady-in-waiting.
“I feel like I should mention Burning Man again,” Sandoval sighs, promising this isn’t a ten-year midlife crisis, and you don’t need to see his driver’s license to check his age.
Sandoval’s hoping Schaena’s obsessive jealousy over Ariana’s turn on Dancing with the Stars will be enough to derail whatever flimsy loyalty she previously assigned to their friendship, which is a safe bet, since there’s no woman Schaena won’t assign a burning bear suit for a tendril of male approval. So begins her full transformation into Gretchen from Mean Girls, storing everyone’s tea in the location tracker on her phone, and reading off receipts whenever the attention-fairy fails to flap under her chin until she sniffs out the chorus for her next chart-missing autotune monstrosity. This is how she makes fetch happen, and tattoos it onto her arm.
“It’s all happening. It is. IT IS!” Schaena gestures violently at her pop culture initiation ink.
In the past Sandoval recommended that the cheating partner in a relationshit be the one to exit the household, but now that he’s in the village stocks that policy needs a rewrite, and like his last romantic implosion, he refuses to be the one to leave.
“This is why I tell people I wasn’t crazy, I was REACTING!” Kristin reminds everyone this is her Monica Lewinsky year.
So Ariana and Sandoval still occupy the same address, with personal assistant Ann tasked with playing a boring game of telephone. Ann’s duties include tidying the floor’s wayward hair extensions, stuffing laundry into biohazard bags, and marveling at the contents of the litterbox while Tom tracks his reflection during slow treadmill meditations on nailpolish and facial hair. Ariana has been very busy while Sandoval has just been very, so when Ariana asks Ann if she knows anyone looking for assistant work, the person Ann recommends is…herself.
“I’d really really really really like to work for someone who does stuff!” Ann squees.
“Well I’m probably going to get depressed soon, since everyone’s disparaging me for my success, and my best friends kinda aren’t…” Ariana tries to get Ann to calm down.
“I really want to work for you. Really.” Ann can’t be calmed. “I just put an enema bag in the trash. Help me.”
The next day Ann shows up in business casual attire, and quickly checks in on Tom to make sure he hasn’t lost his balance during mandatory mirror-flexing. She tells him Ariana is eager to tap her assistant network, without noting it’s a network of one, and makes haste for the kitchen. With nothing better to do than linger in the doorway of Ariana’s advancement, Sandoval learns THE TRUTH about Ann’s ambitions.
“I won’t fire her exactly, but I’ll humiliate her, and start seeing another assistant on the side,” Tom has one solution for all things.
Once Ann is crying in the kitchen, Sandoval takes his woe-is-me tour outside of the house, for more conversations about how unreasonable Ariana is for stealing the assistant that helps him wrangle the tasks of buying batteries and neglecting animals.
“Those aren’t my pets and I shouldn’t have to take care of them,” Sandoval self-awares. “Still, Ariana shouldn’t say they’re hers just because she adopted them, pays their expenses, and feeds them.”
“You locked my dog in my room for three hours, and it ate my garbage monument,” Ariana scowls.
Tom swears he shoved the litterbox full of feces in the room first, so the dog had a variety of things to snack on. That’s right, we’re given not one but two litterbox reveals, when zero would have been just fine, and it’s hard to believe the presented trough is the product of a single cat’s anal efforts, even over the stretch of a week.
“Grandma, I don’t think a cat would poop on top of poop like that, grandma,” Pogue Bun-Bun can’t believe his pink toes and nose. “I would just stand in front of it and say ‘Grandma’ over and over again while tapping the wall with my beans. Don’t they listen, Grandma?”
“Apparently not, Pogue Pierogi,” Fractalfay says, getting back to the business of doing whatever her toxoplasmosis directs.
All the same, the ASPCA needs to do a wellness check on all animals affiliated with this cast, including the frequently-biting dog working out a name-change, the cat who poops like a 41 year-old narcissist, the post-operative dog recovering from skewer-eating, and anything Schaena’s glued to her eyes.
“It’s mink!” Schaena snaps, reminding us about the time Tom saved her from financial ruin. “That’s just like a weasel or something, it’s not like it was doing anything.”
“Why are you looking at me?” Brock looks up, excited to be included.
Schaena reports she’s wrestling OCD brought on by post-baby hormones and the man-baby she shares a house with. Brock thinks the solution to this anxiety is more nannies, so there’s always someone on hand to pat makeup onto a toddler’s face while he’s busy shopping for budgie smugglers.
“I don’t see why we should parent when we don’t have to parent,” Brock’s done this before.
“I feel like this is your second chance at being a dad though,” Schaena fries.
“Doesn’t everyone get three chances?” Brock checks his notes, but all he’s written down is BECOME SANDOVAL STEP ONE: SHOES.
Schaena needs a hobby to distract herself, so she reveals she’s tracking dozens of people on her phone and knows who hooked up with who. Schaena’s big scoop is that Katie slept with Max, her former stalking victim/one-sided relationshit, and apparently Schwartz’s best friend this season. No one gives a shit in the slightest, despite Lala’s efforts to mountain-up this molehill, so the cast gets back to what they do best: chasing Ariana from scene to scene, asking if she’s gotten over her ten year relationship’s implosion yet. Now? How bout now? Now? How bout now?
This fails to trigger Ariana’s get-over-it reflex, and instead she finds herself at a beach picnic with last season’s trash and only Katie to trade side-eyes with.
“Basically I’m right professionally,” Katie reads. “On Bravo, this guarantees a villain edit.”
Schaena sits by gamely while Brock scrambles for screen time by reminding Ariana of the recent relationship crimes that lubricated her star ascension, before Schaena pivots to the once-upon-a-time everyone on the planet flirted with her even if no one else remembers.
“Tell me I’m pretty,” Schaena, always. “No, again! Tell me again!”
Only 10 of those admirers got a restraining order to halt proceedings, and since two of those were John Mayer, it technically only counts as one.
“It’s two,” John Mayer interrupts. “I had to make sure she couldn’t reach me by land or sea.”
“That still leaves air!” Schaena shouts, quickly scrawling down the name of her next song.
Sandoval and Schwartz disappear to discuss the injustice of consequences for actions, while Ariana tries to explain for the hundredth time that the manipulation window has been closed, and if her ex wants to keep smashing into it like a lost bird, that’s on him.
“Stop shoving him on me,” Ariana snaps.
“We’re leaving,” Katie calls Schwartz to let him know he should get his stuff.
“Could you just grab it?” Schwartz asks, assuming Katie is still his mommy replacement.
“Bye!” Katie is retired.
Katie and Schwartz then attempt to have a conversation about Katie’s mattress snacks with lost cast member Max, and for the first time Schwartz looks damaged.
“Maybe we could get dinner sometime,” Schwartz is not over it.
“I don’t want to get dinner sometime,” Katie is over it.
If Schwartz is going to pursue Katie all over again he’s going to need to slough off roommate and sometimes-girlfriend Jo first, which is going to be a challenge since she describes him as her “favorite person ever” thanks to a shared love of robot-noises and rubberface expressions. Jo’s not equipped to deal with the cast’s level of toxicity without a juice cleanse, so she opts for sabotage and bleaches the high holy fuck out of Schwartz’s hair instead.
“Joseph!” Schwartz always has a dumb nickname at the ready.
“Ha!” Jo’s revenge-do succeeds in failing.
This look carries him into some kind of speed-dating swingers’ party, where he courts multiple women while Jo hates herself in the bathroom. The cast’s kryptonite is direct confrontation, but Jo chooses it anyway, and asks WTF is up with dating her for months, living with her, and professing love before going lady-shopping.
“Have you seen Seeking Sister Wife?” Schwartz asks. “How about From Couple to Throuple? That one is on Peacock, so…”
Jo tabulates that she’s been played by someone who speaks in moop-moop voice when he doesn’t want to be the bad guy, then feigns ignorance when the tears start falling. Schwartz stays in character, while she retreats to privately process her failed romance with someone who seemed so perfect when they were chicken-clucking gesturing and bleeping together over burritos.
With Jo on the ropes production is desperate for more awkward Katie and Schwartz time, so we’re asked to believe they’re pursuing the same romantic lede, which is so contrived it’s not worth acknowledging beyond this. Where Katie truly shines is when she’s forced to engage with Sandoval’s scripted faux-apology tour.
“I just wanted to say I’m really sorry—“
“Let me stop you right there,” Katie retorts, every single time.
What’s Lala up to? Nothing, but she has imported her entire extended family for an assist, while proceeding to plan a second child via sperm donation, so it can be “hers” exclusively. Since this isn’t gross enough, she invites all the ladies to weigh in on the potential donor at a party at Lisa’s pink palace, where everything tacky happens, and women instantly become girls.
“Who cares!” Lala toasts with sparkling water, which is like, her thing now that she needs a thing.
“We choose Kyle!” Ariana shouts, and somewhere on Love in Paradise Kyle pauses mid-crunch.
Meanwhile, James is thriving, after giving up drinking, getting a house with Ally, and celebrating a happy reunion with long-lost dog Graham aka Hippie. He’s booking big arenas and major dates with his DJ work, but on VPR his steady gigs still happen at SUR, and he’s forced to entertain opening for Sandoval’s karaoke cover band. Sandoval starts going off on a tangent about his heartbreak over Raquel’s false imprisonment at some deprogramming camp for troubled teens, but James shuts it down with reminders that for years he claimed to be fully in-love with Ariana, and his heartbreak should be assigned to the disintegration of that union — not the side piece.
“Go push buttons on a laptop,” Sandoval whines.
“In Vegas?” James is not going to suffer a self-esteem drop from a worm with a mustache.
Ally tries to sell herself as a reformed Swiftie and an aspiring astrologer, which is more believable than Rachel’s pageant lines about helping children, so go off. She smartly keeps her distance from Lala and Schaena, who spiral further down the jealousy toilet with each passing episode, as they scramble for reasons to welcome Sandoval back to the fray and gloss over their own historic hypocrisy.
Schaena and Lala bond over their lack of understanding about real estate law, and Ariana’s unwillingness to accept a low-ball buyout offer from someone who used her good credit to fund a bar and second mortgage. Sandoval insists he will buy her out, so Ariana’s lawyers say that’s fine, and true to form, Sandoval has none of the money for this, since he already squandered his mother’s retirement.
This is still somehow branded as Ariana being unreasonable, while LVP tut-tuts about a supposed mental health crisis Sandoval experienced while he was mocking other people’s mental health.
“I think it should be obvious I’m team misogyny by now,” LVP clucks, adrift without someone to infantilize.
If that wasn’t convincing enough, LVP shows up at the shell of a sandwich shop, and is disappointed that her forced relationship between Ariana and Katie and her grifter friend Penny isn’t working.
“Here’s all the delays we haven’t enjoyed while working with your recommended COO,” Katie isn’t dumb.
“We have her contract with our lawyers,” Ariana adds, because she’s really come to appreciate the role legal experts play in her life.
“But if you have lawyers, how will you trust someone else to profit from promoting your likeness?” LVP thinks it should be clear why she picked the Toms by now.
Contracts stipulate that Kyle Chan has to perpetually resurface on this series like herpes, and a planned store opening in San Francisco means it’s time to dust off the 25th version of “Good as Gold” for whoever wants to hear it. Sandoval is tapped to manage the logistics of this opening, which he’s eager to do, and volunteers the services of his sound guy.
“I’ve never done a sound check ever,” Schaena doesn’t have to say this, but does anyway.
This also creates another opening for Schaena to fully forget that Ariana’s breakup isn’t something that happened to her.
“You’re the only person who has always had my back from day one,” Schaena actually says to the guy who called her ridiculous for ever thinking they were friends.
Lala calls while Sandoval and Schaena are playing nice-nice, to make sure Sandy knows not to come to her 33rd birthday burlesque party.
“You’re only 33?” Sandoval’s as shocked as everyone at home.
“Whatever, eternal 40,” Lala counters.
“It’s PREVENTATIVE,” Schaena snaps from the tippity top of plastic surgery mountain.
The whole team is bound for San Francisco for Kyle Chan’s opening, and Brock wants to plan a “roaring twenties” party where everyone dresses like gangsters from the 30s. Ariana’s new boyfriend Dan also plans to attend, but before they board a flight with the riff raff they go out on a cute dinner where both seem genuinely smitten with each other. Dan’s got a firm NYC vibe, and stiffens when Ariana suggests relocation to the superficial capital of the country. He’s not keen, and all I see is an opportunity for an NYC-based show and future interaction between Ariana and the Summer House crew.
“How is it possible I haven’t been engaged to him yet?” Lindsey scans her instagram followers for any possible overlap.
Meanwhile, Sandoval readies to wow no one with his band-of-sorts, and the person writing the closed captions delivers by describing his bid at trumpet playing as *plays discordant notes*. James shows up to watch the gig, and Tom’s mom is already on deck, and stares at the stage like she’s captivated by her favorite televangelist and is going to be seized by the holy spirit, as soon as the lithium wears off.
“Yike,” Vy’s go-to line really works here.
Before the show is even over the venue scrambles to take his name off the marque, and Jo and Schwartz assemble outside to revisit their separation. Jo demonstrates the moves she learned at her latest improv class, and Schwartz asks to perform his one man wishy-washy act. Jo consents, and he says he feels weird with the distance between them, but wants their status as friends to be clear, but also doesn’t want to rule out getting married in eight years.
“See? That’s what I’m talking about,” protests Jo, who has too many receipts reflecting his habit of professing undying love and then taking it back.
Dan seems to know his presence on the show will inspire speculation that he’s a screen-chaser, so he opts out of a planned group boat outing in favor of working out and getting a massage. Everyone else heads to pier 39, where Lala uses her laser-sharp people reading skills to hone in on everything she overlooks in herself. Schwartz attempts to hold Katie’s hand for the first time in 15 years, and Katie tests the battery on her taser in case she needs to use it. Brock reminds everyone that Schaena recommended warm clothes but no one paid attention, so maybe folks should go on a spending spree at local shops before they board the SS Minnow for a three hour tour.
Schwartz tells Sandoval he’s been thinking about his proposal that they live together and collectively pay a $12K a month mortgage, and his mind is telling him no, but his body is telling him yeah.
“So I’m saying yes,” Schwartz announces, and Sandoval is super relieved he’s that much closer to still not being able to buy Ariana out.
On board the boat the weather starts getting tough, and the tiny ship is tossed, which ups the opportunity for a rogue wave to knock someone’s cell phone into the sea. All that build up has no delivery, but James does find the fire for a few random swings around a pole.
“Whee! I’m fun!” James is an army of one.
After the trip Sandoval dares the sea lions to attack, but they think they’ve already had their fill of microplastics, and some tragic twist of fate leaves Ariana trapped in conversation with Brock.
“Have you considered getting over your breakup for my wife’s benefit?” Holy shit Brock.
“So she can be buddies with the guy who screamed at her last week?” Ariana hasn’t sniffed glue since high school.
“Here’s a bland statement about forgiveness…” Brock says things.
“You don’t have to forgive anyone,” Ariana with the truth. “Gray rocking and going no contact is the only way to avoid manipulation. That’s me. I’m a grey rock.”
“I am the walrus!” a sea lion with an identity crisis retorts.
“I’m Schaena’s rock,” Brock tries. “And people have always said I’ve got rocks in my head, so I get it.”
“Not really,” Ariana’s familiar with how men on this show work. “I’m retired from diapering my man-baby. There’s power in female rage. And there never seems to be any issue with male rage.”
“Male rage whaaaa…” Brock’s sniffing glue habit is active, as the editors provide a little montage of all the mantrums that have tied the show together since this season’s premiere.
Brock derps away to get a haircut from the wrong era, and everyone gets ready for the historically inaccurate theme party, and Lala knocks on the door of Ariana’s room for a chance to spot Dan in a towel.
“I’m not mad,” Lala’s eyes keep going up and down, while Dan seems to immediately identify the bullshit before him.
Dan passes on the group dinner in favor of a private dinner with one of Ariana’s best friends, but he does iron all of Ariana’s clothes and lay them out for her, so Ann should know the personal assistant competition is heating up. It’s hard to tell if Dan is defensive about the coming interrogation, if he’s yucked out about sharing airspace with Sandoval, or if he just wants nothing to do with all of this.
“He (Sandoval) hasn’t done anything to me,” Dan explains. “But I know what he’s done.”
“I need to go before my lady-boner shows,” Lala excuses herself.
James splish splashes balls-deep in the bathtub with a rubber duck, while Ally tries to puzzle out Dan’s reluctance to attend dinner.
“Have you met us?” James asks, before humming a few bars of Rubber Ducky. “He might not even be able to stand being in the room with Sandoval. And not just because of the smell. Did you hear he’s moving in with his loser best friend so they can go nowhere together? Swan dive into bubbles!”
Everyone arrives at a bar or something, with James looking Peaky Blinders, Schwartz in a brown suit with snaps down the sides, Lala playing flapper, and Brock looking like a bouncer at a Berlin sex club. Someone notes Ariana and Sandoval wear similar shoes, and Ariana seems hypnotized by her phone as a means of avoiding looking up for too long.
Wing-woman Katie is ever at the ready, so she and Ariana take in the view until Schwartz saunters over to announce they look like a duo.
“We’re the new Tom-Tom,” Katie smirks.
Schwartz admits he’s still subservient, and is eager to hit on his ex-wife.
“You like me again,” he tries.
“No I don’t,” Katie retorts.
Schwartz goes on to propose a one-night stand of binge-eating snack food and scrolling in silence, but Katie isn’t nostalgic for her mistakes. She thinks in a few years Schwartz will brand her the one who got away, and she’s going to stay away just to make sure that happens.
Schaena finds a secluded spot to go outside with Sandoval to talk logistics, while Ariana paces alone, texting Dan that she’s got leftovers for him. He responds he’s stuffed and a little drunk, and his pushing away is getting distracting. Sandoval insists to Schaena that he feels good about Dan’s presence, because that way someone is there for Ariana. Schaena tries to get him to apologize for weaponizing her mental health, and Sandy admits that he does feel bad about that, and this almost seems sincere, so they indulge in an extended hug.
“I helped Ariana clean her house too,” Schaena reminds everyone at home, just in case we were landing too hard on her being awful.
“Oh, I’m still just here to rage bait,” Lala interjects, eager to resume instigation duties once her sparkling water hangover subsides.
Thank you, Patreon supporters! The rest of the season will be recapped in May! patreon.com/fractalfay

I'm looking for beta feedback on the standalone spinoff sequel to my published novel, Love on the D-List, which reviewers describe as "Emotional and laugh-out-loud funny."
Here is a brief description of the book:
After breaking up with his movie-star boyfriend and losing his record deal, Theo Young treats his band to a yoga retreat in the Catskill Mountains. The retreat was once owned by a famous psychic medium, but has recently been inherited by her scowling, taciturn, neurodivergent great-grandson, Aloysius. Aloysius was sent to live with his great-grandmother when he was nine. Now, at twenty-nine, he’s amazing at yoga, an accomplished pianist, and can see auras. However, he has no interest in sharing his gifts with clients. He much prefers to spend his time caring for the retreat’s herd of goats. But when a tall, lanky, blue-eyed rockstar—who might very be the soulmate Aloysius’s great-grandmother foretold—appears at the retreat and won’t shut up, Aloysius is forced to step out of his comfort zone and grab his destiny by the balls, literally.
Here is an excerpt of the prologue and first three chapter.
Prologue
Nine Years Earlier
Aloysius
Aloysius tried to focus on the woman waving the vial of chamomile in front of his face, but his attention kept being drawn back to the young man in line behind her. He wasn’t sure why, though. There was nothing particularly striking about the man. Technically, he wasn’t a man at all. He couldn’t have been more than sixteen or seventeen.
He was unusually tall and skinny, like a sunflower, and just as top heavy. His face was all teeth and blue eyes, though those were hidden behind black-rimmed glasses. And while he was handsome in a goofy sort of way, his friend, the one in line behind him, was the more attractive of the two. Instead of pale skin and sharp elbows, he had tan, muscular biceps and thick forearms.
But like Aloysius, he too seemed mesmerized by the tall, awkward teen. His eyes never left the boy’s narrow back. But whether the heat in his gaze was fueled by anger or attraction, Aloysius couldn’t say. Perhaps both.
There were two girls in line with them and another young man, a much shorter one. Aloysius envied them. He’d never had friends before.
One of the girls said something, and they all looked at her and laughed, which gave Aloysius an opportunity to glimpse the blue-eyed boy’s aura. There was nothing special about that, either. It was red and gold with a bit of indigo near his crown chakra.
“What does this do?” the woman asked. “I thought chamomile was just a kind of tea you drank before bed.”
“It can be,” Aloysius replied, regretting coming on this adventure with his great-grandmother. He was no good at talking to people. He preferred animals. “Chamomile is often found in teas, tinctures, and massage oils. It's both an anxiolytic and an antidepressant.”
“Oh, how much?”
“Fifty dollars.”
“For this little thing?”
“Yes.”
The woman set the vial down and picked up a bundle of sage.
Aloysius felt his gaze drifting back to the blue-eyed boy again and busied himself rearranging the selenite crystals, aligning them with the Earth’s magnetic field. There was no spiritual significance to this action, but Aloysius was twenty now, and he shouldn’t be ogling teenage boys.
Aloysius felt simultaneously relieved and hollow when the blue-eyed boy disappeared into the tent. The smaller one went with him, but the handsome one rejoined the girls, loudly voicing his disdain for all things metaphysical while shooting Aloysius accusing glares. Didn’t these people realize how lucky they were to be in Eve’s presence? People traveled from all over the world to see her. And she rarely left the retreat.
The only reason she’d come here—a three hour drive—was because the fair was for charity and run by her boyfriend, Teddy Holiday. Teddy said it didn’t count as a road trip, though, because they didn’t need to stop for gas. Aloysius had always wanted to go on a road trip. But he hated being apart from Eve, and she hated being apart from her home, so they almost never left.
“Aloysius,” Eve called from inside the tent, “Come here, please.”
Aloysius’s stomach swooped. It wasn’t uncommon for Eve to seek his advice. Despite being a famous psychic medium, she couldn’t see auras like he could, a skill Aloysius’s great-grandfather had also possessed in his time. But the thought of purposefully staring at the blue-eyed boy made Aloysius's heart race like a rabbit caught in a snare.
He stepped into the red velvet tent, which Eve normally used for shade when she painted in the yard, and froze. The two young men were facing away from him, looking at Eve, and it took Aloysius all of half a second to become mesmerized by the blue-eyed boy’s tangle of dark, wavy hair, wondering what it would feel like to run his hand through it.
Eve cleared her throat, and Aloysius looked up at her. She was the only adult he’d ever met with a white aura. It was quite common in infants, as they’d yet to develop an attachment to the material world. But it was basically unheard of in adults. Eve, though, wasn’t like most adults. Her connection to the spirit world was unparalleled. And right now, her aura wasn’t just white. It was glowing.
He followed her gaze down to the cards on the table. At first, he didn’t see what the big deal was. But then it hit him. Two years ago, on his eighteenth birthday, he’d seen these same five cards laid out in this exact same arrangement. The Moon, reversed. The Page of Swords, upright. The Knight of Swords, upright. The Ten of Swords, reversed. And, lastly, the Lovers, upright. It couldn’t be, though. This had to be a coincidence. How many five-card arrangements could there be?
Aloysius started building the algorithm in his head, but his brain short-circuited when the blue-eyed boy turned and looked up at him. Aloysius took a step back and tripped over a box. He tried to catch himself on the tent wall, but the red velvet slipped through his fingers, and he landed on the trampled-down grass with a loud thud.
He jumped to his feet just as the blue-eyed boy asked, “Are you okay?”
Instead of answering, Aloysius turned and bolted from the tent.
Chapter 1
Present Day
Theo
Theo tried to stay in the moment, but it was hard with Ryan blowing up his phone and Brady grunting above him like a tennis player. He never should’ve given Ryan his own ringtone.
“Shut that fucker off.” Sweat dripped off Brady’s brow and landed on Theo’s chest in fat, hot dollops.
Theo was tempted to toss his phone in the fish tank. But it was waterproof, and Mr. Bubbles, his goldfish, didn’t appreciate foreign objects in his personal space. Theo silenced it instead.
He considered telling Brady he wasn’t in the mood to fuck anymore, but he could tell Brady was close, so he finished himself off, and Brady followed suit thirty seconds later.
“Why is that asshole calling you? I thought he needed space before he was ready to be your friend again.” Brady said space like it was a racist slur.
“How should I know?” Theo slid out from under Brady and headed for the bathroom.
Theo hadn’t talked to Ryan since they’d broken up back in April. Theo had wanted to stay friends—best friends, even—but Ryan had wanted space. Now, Ryan was dating his beautiful and talented co-star, Mia Malone. Not that Theo was bitter or anything. He wasn’t. He was happy for Ryan.
Brady slid into the shower behind Theo. “He wants to get back together, doesn’t he?”
Theo scoffed. “I highly doubt that.” According to the tabloids, Ryan and Mia were madly in love. Granted, the tabloids were almost always wrong.
“You’re a terrible liar. Why don’t you just marry him and get it over with?” Brady held his hand out for the soap.
If Theo didn’t know better, he’d think Brady was jealous. And maybe that was part of it. But the real issue was that Brady hated Ryan, and not just for breaking Theo’s heart with his all-or-nothing ultimatum. According to Brady, Ryan was literally the most boring person to ever exist. If he weren’t the hottest twink alive, no one would give two shits about him.
“Stop asking questions you already know the answers to,” Theo said, stepping out of the spray so Brady could take a turn.
Ryan had been the perfect boyfriend, loyal, sweet, attentive, and fun. And one day, he’d make some lucky man or woman the perfect husband. It just wouldn’t be Theo.
Theo didn’t do forever. He couldn’t be someone’s everything. Ryan, on the other hand, was just about as heteronormative as his and hers towels. He wanted it all, the house, the spouse, the kids, and the cheesy stocking stuffers. And while, in theory, he supported the right to love in unconventional ways—open relationships, polyamory, ethical non-monogamy, etc—he was firmly on team monogamy. In fact, he was the captain of team monogamy.
Theo had tried to reason with him. Don’t you wanna fully experience your bisexuality while still growing our relationship? Missing the point entirely, Ryan had responded, I said I’d top you. You just have to give me time to get into character.
Ryan had been Theo’s celebrity crush since before Theo had hair on his balls, which was probably why, when the opportunity had presented itself, Theo had slightly oversold how versatile he was. But that hadn’t been why he’d suggested opening their relationship—not really. It hadn’t been about satisfying his own needs, but about ensuring Ryan got the happily ever after he deserved, the happily ever after Theo was in no position to promise him.
Early-onset familial Alzheimer's disease—a rare form of Alzheimer’s caused by a gene mutation—ran in Theo’s family. His grandfather had had it and so had his father. But his uncle had been spared the mutated gene. It was only passed down fifty percent of the time.
In other words, Theo’s life was a coin toss. He could live to be an old man or he could start succumbing to the disease as soon as his early thirties.
He’d promised his father he wouldn’t get tested for the gene unless he had a compelling reason to, like he wanted to have kids or something. His father had gotten the test and had regretted it. He had believed that life was better left a mystery and had wanted Theo to live out his days with hope, even if those days came with a generous helping of uncertainty and dread.
But Theo had broken his promise to his father less than two years later when Robert, the actor playing Theo’s grandfather in the movie based on their lives, pulled some strings and arranged to get Theo tested anonymously. You don’t ever have to open the results if you don’t want to, Robert had said. But this way, it will be your choice, and you won’t have to worry about screwing yourself out of health and life insurance.
That was exactly what Theo had done, gotten the test and not opened the results. He’d planned to never tell anyone he’d gotten the test, not wanting them to know he’d broken his promise to his father, but he’d gotten baked on Alaskan Thunderfuck one night and confessed everything to his two best friends, Brady and Raj.
A lot of people in Theo’s position would live in constant fear of dying, wondering how many Christmases and birthdays they had left. But not Theo. A fortune teller had once told him he’d live a long, happy life, and—as long as he didn’t think too much about the reliability of prophecy—he believed her. That was Theo’s general philosophy when it came to the future. It was best not to dwell on it. He preferred to live in the now. He was basically Eckhart Tolle.
But Ryan wasn’t built like that. And he wasn’t like Brady, either. Theo and Brady had been hooking up off and on since they were sixteen, and even though Brady was a jealous son-of-a-bitch sometimes, it was still easier to love him than Ryan. Brady never asked for more than Theo could give. Brady didn’t try to make Theo his home. He knew Theo was a swanky vacation rental at best.
Brady turned around to rinse the soap out of his ass crack. “Why don’t you just open the fucking envelope, then?”
“Didn’t I just tell you to stop asking questions you already know the answers to?”
“If Travis had known you were gonna spend your life high as fuck, pretending there was no such thing as the future, he’d have driven you to the doctor himself, and you know it. That’s why you got the test.”
“No, I got the test because Robert pulled a fuck-ton of strings and I didn’t wanna be rude.” That was sort of true. “And I have more important things to worry about right now than Ryan. Raj wants to become a banker. Digger wants to hire a songwriter. And Cam thinks we should start performing on cruise ships. Because that’s what we need right now, MRSA. I don’t know how much longer I’m gonna be able to keep the band together.”
Theo’s band, Heirloom Tortoise, had recently lost their record deal. Their third album hadn’t just been poorly reviewed. It had been eviscerated. Saturday Night Live had even spoofed it with a sketch of them recording alongside a bunch of cats in heat. Their characters kept asking if it might sound better with fewer cats, but Christopher Walken kept assuring them that wasn’t the case. They just needed more cowbell. Worse still, Christopher Walken had been right. The album really could’ve used more cowbell.
“Funny you should mention that,” Brady said. “I think I have just the bonding experience you guys are looking for. Remember how I told you my team was going on that hippie yoga retreat in the Catskills next week? Well, we just landed this huge new client, so we’re not gonna be able to go, and it’s too late to get a refund. As you can imagine, my boss isn’t too happy about swallowing the expense. Which means, I bet I could get you the tickets at a discount. Think about it. What better way to rejuvenate and regroup than a week unplugged in the beautiful Catskill Mountains? Plus, you’d be doing me a huge favor. My boss fucking hates me. This will show her I can be just as much of a kiss-ass as everyone else. And you’ve got the money.” To emphasize his point, Brady gestured around Theo’s palatial bathroom, which was absurdly nice. In addition to being bigger than Brady’s apartment, it had a million dollar bathtub carved from a giant quartz crystal.
“It’s not my money,” Theo said, which was true.
“Ask Will, then.”
“I can’t ask Will for money again, not after he just built me a recording studio in the basement. Besides, can you imagine Raj meditating? He probably thinks chakras are bras for women with electrostimulation kinks.”
“Then dip into your trust fund. You wanna save the band, don’t you?”
“More like save your ass.”
“That, too.” Brady shut off the water and handed Theo a towel.
“Was that why you came over tonight?” Brady lived in the city and rarely made the trek out to The Hamptons, except during the summer.
“No, Colin and I are meeting for dinner tomorrow night, and—”
“And you wanted to get your dick wet one last time before getting back together.”
“Yeah, pretty much.”
“You don’t even like him.”
“I like him just fine. You’re the one who doesn’t like him.”
That was true. Theo didn’t like Colin. Colin was the worst. He hated when Theo and Brady hung out. He acted like all they did was fuck and talk shit about him behind his back. But they only did that when he and Brady were broken up. When they were together, there was only shit talking. Theo and Brady were a lot of things, but cheaters was not one of them.
After brushing his teeth, Theo crawled into bed and assumed his position as the little spoon. “Do you need me to set an alarm or anything?”
“Nah, I think I’ll stay for breakfast. What are you making me?”
“I don’t know. I think I have some frozen waffles in the freezer.”
Brady pinched Theo’s nipple. “Great. I’ll have that with a side of frittata.”
***
“Here, take Gabe so I can clean this up,” Uncle James said, thrusting the baby at Theo.
The second Gabe was in Theo’s arms, he started crying. Theo wasn’t sure why Gabe didn’t like him. It wasn’t like he’d ever dropped him on his head or stolen his binky. But it was just as well. His little cousin probably shouldn’t get too attached, anyway.
Theo stepped over Gabe’s breakfast, which was scattered across the kitchen floor, and set Gabe down in his playpen. Gabe stopped crying immediately and started pounding on the drum Theo had gotten him for Arbor Day.
“Is Brady still here?” Uncle James asked.
“Yeah, he’s upstairs.” Theo opened the fridge and started pulling out ingredients for a spinach, mushroom, and feta frittata. “He’s trying to unload these tickets his firm bought to some yoga retreat. He thinks it will be a good bonding experience for the band.”
Uncle James was no fool. He knew exactly where this was going. “We just built you a friggin’ state-of-the-art recording studio in the basement. We’re not paying for you to go get high at some ashram in Nepal.”
“It’s a yoga retreat, not an ashram. And it’s in the Catskills, not Nepal. Besides, I didn’t even ask you guys.”
“Didn’t ask us what?” Will said, scooping Gabe up out of his playpen.
“Theo wants us to bankroll a trip to some hippie yoga retreat upstate,” Uncle James said.
“I do not. I was just telling you Brady was trying to unload the tickets so he could impress his boss. The fact that the band is this close to breaking up and could really use some spiritual guidance is merely a coincidence. Though, some would say, there are no such things as coincidences.”
“Did you talk to Ryan last night?” Will asked.
“No, why? Did he call you, too?”
“No, Andy did.”
Theo hated everyone knowing his business before him. “I wasn’t in the right mental space to talk to Ryan last night. What does he want?”
“I think you need to hear it from him,” Will said.
“Why? He probably just feels bad about our album bombing and wants to help. But I’m sick of being Ryan’s charity case. I wanna do this on my own.”
Uncle James dropped the highchair tray in the sink. “Yet you have no problem asking us to foot the bill just so you can go do headstands on a rock in the woods.”
“Raj wants to be a banker,” Theo said. “Is that what you want, another asshole who cranks up the radio every time NPR Marketplace comes on? And if Cam gets her way, we’re gonna start playing the cruise circuit. We’ll probably get MRSA and pass it on to Gabe.”
“Well, we wouldn’t want that, now, would we?” Will said, chuckling. “I think you should go. It might be nice to step out of the spotlight for a little while.”
“Really?” Theo hadn’t been expecting Will to say yes, at least not so quickly.
“Yes, but on one condition. Talk to Ryan before you go.”
Chapter 2
Aloysius
The sun was still below the horizon when Aloysius Byrne reached the summit. It was early October, and the Catskills were reaching peak fall foliage. But in the blue-black light of early morning, the maples were the dark maroon of garnet, and the golds and yellows of the ash and birch trees were sallow and muted.
Aloysius sat on a rock—Devonian shale—and waited for the sun to rise. He was hungry, so he opened his rusty Powerpuff Girls lunchbox, which contained an RC Cola, a Nutty Buddy, and a ziplock bag of Cool Ranch Doritos.
Kian, one of the yoga instructors and the closest thing Aloysius had to a friend, liked to say Aloysius was going to give himself diabetes, but Kian couldn’t even do eka hasta vrksasana, so who was he to judge how Aloysius fueled his body?
Aloysius didn’t normally have lunch for breakfast, but swapping the two meals seemed easier than hiking with milk and a box of Cap’n Crunch, Aloysius’s usual breakfast.
He removed half of the sandwich and put the rest back in his lunchbox. He ate the half in his hand, including the crust, and resisted the urge to open his can of soda. He’d drink it after he dumped the small vial of ashes.
The sun still wasn’t up, so he did some yoga, starting with eka hasta vrksasana, one-handed tree pose. He balanced on one hand and spread his legs above him. Aloysius knew the pose was meant to combine the elements of thought, light, and ether, but he spent most of the time thinking about Kian’s new tattoo, a black mandala om covering his left shoulder. Why did people do that to their bodies?
When the sun crested the mountains to the east, Aloysius switched to his other arm, closed his eyes against the prick of sunlight, and felt the warmth of a new day—Eve’s birthday—strike his face. After a while, he lowered himself back to the ground and watched the colors of the trees come to life.
Lit from below, the leaves took on the jeweled tones of precious gems. Aloysius liked crystals and gemstones. He had an extensive collection in his cabin. The yellows and golds of the ash and birch trees reminded him of citrine, a type of quartz. And the red maples had the vitreous luster of a spinel, which used to be considered a type of ruby before people knew better. Real rubies were the result of chromium impurities in corundum.
Aloysius knew it wouldn’t be long before Kian’s class arrived, so he pulled the stopper from the vial of Eve’s ashes and upended it. This was how Aloysius planned to spend all of Eve’s birthdays from now on, spreading bits of her in beautiful places. He expected the ashes to blow away poetically in the breeze. But instead, they settled in a small heap on the ground and soaked up the morning dew.
Aloysius returned to his throne of Devonian shale, sanitized his hands, and pulled out his Cool Ranch Doritos. Around him, the clearing looked almost as mystical as it was purported to be, covered in three feet of dense fog.
Three hundred and seventy-five million years ago, a meteor had crashed into the very spot Aloysius was sitting. Well, the very spot and one thousand three hundred twenty feet in every direction. The land was said to contain immense spiritual energy and had long been held sacred by the local Native American people—the Mohicans and Esopus. Aloysius, who could see auras and energy fields, found the place no more magical than any other mountain clearing. But he didn’t have the sight, not like his great-grandmother had had, so who was he to question the uniqueness of this place?
Eve Byrne had been revered in life. While some had called her a charlatan, most had considered her the most gifted intuitive of her generation. She’d made a lot of outlandish predictions in her lifetime, including telling Aloysius his soulmate was an awkward boy with skinny arms, blue eyes, and glasses. Most of her predictions—but not all—had come true.
There are no guarantees in life, Aloysius, she used to tell him. Sometimes, your soulmate dies before you meet them. Sometimes, they marry someone else. Sometimes, they ignore the omens and stay in the safe bubble of their ordinary lives.
It didn’t matter, though. Aloysius liked being alone. And he wasn’t alone, not really. He had his animals and his friends. Well, they weren’t technically his friends. They were his employees. But he still loved them, and they loved him.
He opened his can of RC Cola and was delighted to find the fizzy liquid inside as crisp as if he’d just taken it from his mini-fridge. Normally, when he packed food for a hike, the soda was as warm as cold tea by the time he drank it.
Muffled voices sounded from the trail behind Aloysius, so he quickly finished his soda and shoved the empty can and the rest of his Cool Ranch Doritos back inside his lunchbox. He fastened the lid and stood.
“Al, is that you?” Kian asked. “What are you doing up here?”
Kian’s crop of disciples trailed behind him—a handful of wealthy white women who found the yoga instructor dreamy, a couple of men who thought the same, and one guy who just wanted to do sun salutations on the sacred ground of an ancient meteor impact.
Kian wore a long-sleeved athletic shirt, yoga pants, and a beanie the same rusty amber as the chestnut oaks. He noticed the empty vial in Aloysius’s hands, and his eyes darted to the small pile of ashes at their feet. His mouth dropped open, and without saying a word, he wrapped Aloysius in a hug.
“Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve come with you.” Kian’s normally orange and purple aura turned blue with sadness and empathy.
“I didn’t want you to come with me,” Aloysius said, not hugging Kian back. He didn’t particularly care for hugs.
“Stay for class,” Kian said. “I’ll say a prayer for Eve’s birthday and lead everyone in a guided meditation.”
Aloysius pulled away, ignoring the spicy scent of incense that clung to Kian’s skin and clothes. “I have to bring the goats down to the pond. The poison ivy is back. Then I need to feed the bees.”
“Well, let’s meet in the temple after lunch for a puja, then. I’ll tell Lakshmi and the others.”
Aloysius felt everyone staring at him. “Your class is waiting.”
Without another word, Aloysius turned and headed back down the trail. Once he was out of earshot, he opened his lunchbox and took out his Nutty Buddy.
Chapter 3
Theo
Theo couldn’t handle the silence anymore. Didn’t these assholes know that road trips were for bonding, not brooding? “Do you guys wanna hear the haiku I just wrote?”
“No,” Cam and Raj said at the same time. It wasn’t the answer Theo had been hoping for, but it was nice to hear Cam and Raj agree on something for a change.
“I’d love to hear your haiku,” Digger said. Theo could always count on Digger.
“Good, because I worked really hard on it.” Theo cleared his throat and made a poem up on the spot.
Goat hooves on your back
Gongs going smack smack smack smack
Yak butter up your crack
Theo wasn’t sure if they still used yak butter in Tibetan massage, or if they put it up your crack, but he knew poems were better when they rhymed and cracks were better when they were buttered. Plus, he wanted his friends to be as excited for the yoga retreat as he was. And what was more exciting than goats, gongs, and massages?
“If anyone touches my crack, it’ll be the last thing they do,” Raj said. As their lead singer, Raj was contractually obligated to be an angsty mother-fucker.
“That’s not a proper haiku,” Digger said. “You added a sixth syllable in the last line. But I still love it.”
Shit! Digger was right.
Theo’s phone chimed in his lap, and he glanced down at yet another text from Ryan. Please call me. It’s important.
Theo had planned to call Ryan on the drive up. But then he’d gotten high instead. I’m on my way to a yoga retreat in The Catskills, he texted back. They don’t allow phones or anything up here, so I’ll have to call you next week when we’re done. Then, because he didn’t want Ryan to think he was mad at him for taking space or for reaching out, he added, Miss you.
“What’s wrong with you?” Raj asked from the driver’s seat.
“Nothing.” Theo shut his phone off.
“You never called Ryan back, did you?”
“He’s the one who didn’t wanna talk to me for six months. It won’t kill him to wait a week.”
“I don’t give a fuck if you ever call him back.” Like Brady, Raj was not a member of the Ryan Ashbury fan club. As the stereotypical lead singer, Raj was used to being the center of attention. And with his big brown eyes, shiny black hair, and perpetual five o’clock shadow, he usually was. But whenever Ryan was around, Raj had to settle for being the second hottest guy in the room, and Raj didn’t like to settle.
“Yeah, but what if he’s calling because he wants to put another one of our songs on a soundtrack?” Cam asked. “Wait, do miniseries even have soundtracks?”
“I don’t think so,” Digger said.
The Dallaire siblings, despite sharing identical DNA, were as unique as snowflakes and nearly as white. Both of them were stunning blondes with irreverent senses of humor and a passion for smoking weed, but that was where their similarities ended. Camille (Cam for short) kept her hair long, like a Barbie doll, and Digger (born Juliette) kept theirs short, like Judi Dench. Cam was a cis woman. Digger was non-binary. Cam dressed like a fashion model. Digger dressed like a union worker, usually in some form of coveralls. Cam liked dick and drama. Digger was asexual and aromantic. But despite all of their differences, they made the greatest rhythm section ever. Cam played drums. Digger played bass. And together, they locked into the groove like they were the same person.
“I think this is it,” Raj said, turning up a winding gravel road.
Theo shoved his phone in his pocket and stared out the window. Beyond a wall of colorful trees lay a rocky field filled with—“Goats! Oh my god, they’re so fucking cute. I just wanna hug them.”
“And they’re not the only things I want to hug,” Cam said, ogling the flannel-clad man standing in the center of the field with them. “You see that, Raj? That’s a real man.”
“We talked about this,” Digger said. “Just because Raj doesn’t want to eat your muffin doesn’t mean he’s any less of a man.”
“I know. It means he’s gay.”
Raj flipped Cam off.
“Raj isn’t gay,” Theo said. “We’ve been naked together loads of times, and his dick hasn’t even so much as twitched.”
“Maybe he’s not into lanky twinks,” Cam said.
“That’s a valid point,” Digger agreed. “Maybe Raj is holding out for a leather daddy.”
“Fuck all of you,” Raj said. “There better be some hot-ass yoga instructor with a killer rack at this place or I’m not going to last more than a couple hours.”
“Don’t worry, there will be,” Theo assured him. “All yoga instructors are wicked hot. It’s like a cardinal rule or something.”
The woman who greeted them in the lobby was not wicked hot, though she probably had been fifty years ago. She looked to be in her early seventies, with long, silver hair and translucent gray eyes. Her name tag read, Diamond-Lill (she/hehers). “Look at you,” she said, eye-fucking Raj. “You’re even more handsome in person.”
Raj cleared his throat. “Uh, thanks.”
“Is this tea free?” Cam asked, standing in front of a giant wall of identical metal tea canisters.
“Yes, help yourself.”
The lobby was busy. Though, not with people. With art, mostly landscapes and nudes. Theo had expected sage green walls punctuated by the occasional leafy fern, maybe a bubbling fountain in the corner. Instead, every square inch of wall space, aside from the tea station, was covered in paintings, as if were Monet’s mother’s fridge.
“I’ve got you set up in The House of Swords,” Diamond-Lill said. She launched into a spiel about where and when meals were held, how to sign up for yoga classes and spa sessions, and the general rules of the place, things like not wearing strong perfumes or disturbing the wildlife. “We value the peace and privacy of our clients. That’s why we don’t allow cell phones or cameras of any kind. You’re welcome to go anywhere on the grounds. We just ask that you respect silent hours. And if Tom charges you, just hold your ground and maintain eye contact.”
“Who’s Tom?” Theo asked.
“He’s our turkey. He’s really quite sweet, but you know how turkeys are.”
Theo didn’t know shit about turkeys, except that they were inedible unless smothered in gravy, but he liked that this woman thought he did, so he didn’t contradict her.
“Is it too late to sign up for this goat yoga class?” Digger asked, holding open the brochure. “Raj has never done yoga before, and I think this will be the perfect way to break him in.”
“I’m not doing yoga in a pile of goat shit,” Raj said.
Ignoring Raj, Diamond-Lill smiled and said, “Here’s Lakshmi, now. Let’s ask her.”
A beautiful woman with shoulder-length chestnut hair stepped into the room and headed for the wall of tea.
“Lakshmi, I’d like to introduce you to our newest guests. These are the musicians I was telling you about. This is Raj, Theodore, Camille, and Digger. This is Lakshmi, one of our yoga therapists.”
“It’s nice to meet you all,” Lakshmi said with a kind smile.
Theo wasn’t into women, not even a little bit, but even he could see Lakshmi was beautiful, and not just physically. She had this warm, calming energy about her that reminded him of his kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Miller.
“They were wondering if you had space in your goat yoga class this afternoon,” Diamond-Lill said.
Lakshmi gave them another warm smile. “I’m sure we can make room. Would all four of you like to attend?”
“No, just three of us,” Cam said. “Raj is afraid of goats.”
“I’m not afraid of goats. I just don’t want to lie in their shit.”
“Well, I can’t guarantee there won’t be some feces on the ground,” Lakshmi said. “But I can assure you the class will be a lot of fun. It’s a great way to start your week. And I’ll ask Aloysius to leave Buttercup in the barn.”
“Who’s Buttercup?” Theo asked.
“He’s a little asshole, that’s who he is,” Diamond-Lill said. “Pardon my French. I know he’s just a goat, but I swear, that one’s possessed.”
Lakshmi didn’t deny it. She just stared at Raj, awaiting his answer.
“Fine, I’ll come,” Raj said.
Theo was glad Raj was participating, even if it was only because the yoga instructor had a nice rack. But did Buttercup really have to stay behind?
Digger must have shared Theo’s concern because they said, “Don’t make any special accommodations on our account. I, for one, am dying to meet Buttercup.”
“Me, too,” Cam said.
Raj crossed his arms and glowered. On anyone else, the expression would’ve looked childish and pouty. But on Raj, it just looked mysterious and broody.
“Okay, I won’t say anything to Aloysius, then.” Lakshmi poured hot water into her mug and headed for the door she’d just come through. “See you in a couple hours.”

I’ve decided to rewatch every Amazing Race and rank them all.
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SEASON 19 gets a 5/10
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This is probably the most forgotten season. I personally found it very dull and underwhelming with no standout teams or big moments. I only just finished rewatching this season and it’s hard to remember many big moments that define this season. There were some very likeable teams but I just found there was no character growth or drama at all (so I don’t have strong opinions on most teams). Although, it did have a “feel good” vibe and there were some very small characters moments that stopped this season from being “terrible”. Ultimately there were 3-4 fantastic legs but the rest ranged from dull to average.
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General Thoughts
- This season felt very laid back and free of drama which some fans may prefer. TAR17 and TAR18 also had somewhat of a laid back vibe but also had some interesting negative energy (Nick/Vicki, Chad/Stephanie, Kent/Vyxsin, Ron/Christina) to balance it. It also had teams who were funny (Michael/Kevin, Nick/Vicki again, Zev/Justin and Ron again) and TAR19 had neither of these. The teams mostly felt flat with not even any quirky characters. Some teams who had meltdown potential (Kaylani/Lisa, Liz/Marie, Justin/Jennifer, Ethan/Jenna) were out early and they were not pushed hard enough to “crack”. This “campy” feel can also be seen in the “previously on” segment where “Who will be eliminated….next” is followed by a team saying something silly or making a stupid noise..and then the intro. This is a really nitpicky complaint but I hate how they ruin the dramatic “Who will be eliminated” with something comical like “I’m gonna pee my pants”. Another nitpick is Phil ruining the non-elimination suspense by asking questions like “It’s been a rough day hasn’t it?” before the “non-elimination” reveal. These annoying additions started in TAR19, but they do have better TV maps this season I guess. They also seemed to give each eliminated team a story at the beginning of their elimination leg so it felt more obvious they would be eliminated - this has happened in previous seasons but seemed to happen more often here.
- The cast also felt gimmicky and the snow highlighted it even more by introducing the gimmicky teams first in the ep1 intro. Amani/Marcus (retired NFL player), Ethan/Jenna (Survivor winners), Laurence/Zac (first under 18 to sail around the world) and Andy/Tommy (Olympic snowboarders). You then had Kaylani/Lisa (Vegas showgirls) and Liz/Marie (perfect barbie twins) and we’ve sort of departed that era where you have 2 normal sisters like Mary/Peach, or a normal mother and daughter like Nancy/Emily or just 2 normal fun brothers like Ken/Gerard. It is harder to relate to gimmicky casts, although they can be interesting at times. Some teams like Ernie/Cindy and Bill/Cathi felt normal enough through.
- A big issue this season - there were no inter team dynamics at all. No alliances (maybe Andy/Tommy and Laurence/Zac very briefly), nobody hated anyone, nobody flirted with anyone, nobody argued with anyone. There wasn’t even any U-Turn drama (Ernie/Cindy U-Turned Bill/Cathi and it was never spoken of again). Classic seasons we would know who liked who and who disliked who but here I have no idea what Ernie/Cindy thought of Jeremy/Sandy or what Andy/Tommy thought of Amani/Marcus or what Bill/Cathi thought of Ernie/Cindy etc. Even the intra-team dynamics were mild with some very mild bickering with the siblings Justin/Jennifer and Liz/Marie getting the most heated scenes. Compare this to TAR3 where every single team in the final 4 had some sort of storyline with the other 3 teams (Ken/Gerard and Derek/Drew had an alliance, Flo and Drew had a showmance, teams were annoyed by Ian, Ken had a playful friendship with Flo etc).
- Ernie/Cindy winning was an okay outcome but “nothing special” which is honestly like most winners unfortunately. The show tends to edit these “dull and nice” winners but I guess Ernie/Cindy had an interesting enough relationship dynamic. Bill/Cathi would have been fantastic winners though, but besides that Ernie/Cindy seemed like a good enough outcome. Most fans probably preferred Andy/Tommy because of their dominance (despite many of their wins being because of penalties or special circumstances haha) and Amani/Marcus weren’t very strong racers. Good enough ending!
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Route
- The route was good though. Some new countries in Indonesia, Malawi, Denmark and Belgium, as well as Taiwan and Panama that are rarely visited. Thailand is the only overused country with way too many visits to Bangkok. Nice to see Atlanta as the finish city, but Los Angeles again as the start. I guess starting in the Buddhist temple was a nice way of tying in Taiwan as the first location. It was a very warm route with no cold places - Malawi seemed like the coldest place visited haha
- Challenges were actually not too bad. There were a few good mental puzzles in there - Bill/Cathi missing the billboard, lots of teams not giving ALL their money to the orphanage, looking for the 2 phrases on the tower in Denmark, teams not seeing Panama Viejo on the skirts, Jeremy/Sandy going to the wrong “Dump”, the Buddha statues and their hand symbols, disassembling and resembling the temple and even the Tintin costumes. I do feel some of the cryptic clues were misleading though. The orphanage had 8 out of 11 teams miss the card which suggests production made it too unclear. Teams should only worry about their clues and not random cards placed on a table. The same with the message on the skirts where more teams noticed the Balboa coins rather than the message. Thinking it was the Balboa statue is not necessarily wrong.
- This season brought back the Express Pass, a touch screen Double U-Turn (which had glare and was terrible to look at) and a new twist - the hazard. I personally didn’t mind the Hazard but it was really just a speed bump, but it only lasted 1 season. I like starting line challenges and this is the most successful so far (TAR15’s starting line elimination was unfair and TAR18’s automatic U-Turn also arguably screwed that team). The Double Elimination was okay but it also meant there was 1 extra non-elimination. It did feel like there were too many non-eliminations at the start - it was good in a returnee season but not newbie casts. There were also less clueboxes and some creative places to hide the clues which was nice.
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Cast Ranking
1.Bill/Cathi - they were so loveable and I believe were the strongest of the over 60 teams, although I preferred watching Meredith/Gretchen and Fran/Barry. They beat Jeremy/Sandy at 2 physical challenges and Bill outperformed athlete Marcus at the physical tobacco challenge. They still felt like underdogs but still competitive and it was a joy seeing them scrape through to the final 5. A lot of down to earth sweet moments like “We’re going to need ginseng to keep up”, Cathi perving on Bill rock climbing, and Cathi nagging Bill at the temple Road Block “Be quiet we can all hear you!” and nagging him to sit down in the truck in Africa. I love older teams and such a shame they are the last older team (with Derek/Shelisa in TAR36 being the closest in age to them).

1. Amani/Marcus - Marcus was very loud and loved his football analogies “We ran it for a touchdown” and his inspirational quotes…despite not performing that well haha I found Marcus similar to Mallory though - really likeable as a character but not necessarily entertaining or any storylines/depth. I liked when Marcus felt like “Big Easy” in the little taxi and also feeling like OJ but weren’t big on the drama or hilarity. But they were super respectful to one another and I remember Amani was shocked when Marcus got frustrated that 1 time in the finale (she didn’t want their children to see that). They were fun underdogs scraping through each week but still preferred Bill/Cathi.
   
2. Andy/Tommy - “The Snowboarders” were the “nice guys” who were threats. One of the first final bosses who were taken down at the final elimination, and somewhat controversially with the other taxis working together. They were likeable but not that entertaining with the only interesting thing I remember them doing was teasing Laurence by making faces from behind. I know they got some criticism for their comments about the Buddhist traditions (“We know the one true God”) but I didn’t think it was that bad. They’re not as memorable as the other male teams from that era - Cowboys, Globetrotters, Afganimals and Chippendales.
   
3. Ernie/Cindy - they were fine, had an endearing relationship story and some very minor disagreements. Cindy had the “overachieving Asian” storyline, prepared for the race excessively and freaked out over small things compared to calm Ernie. She was a control freak but seemed likeable at the same time. But they also had down to Earth cute moments too like “I feel so Asian right now” on the dragon boat, and Cindy gushing over how cute Ernie looked in the period costume. Ernie was super likeable being like “I can‘t believe an A student like Cindy would give a C student like me the time of day”. I believe Cindy may have been more interesting in a season where there was more alliances and drama around her.
   
4. Justin/Jennifer - had the most dramatic arguments (in a season full of niceness) with Justin being more meticulous and Jennifer being more impatient but then learnt to work together later. I sort of like bickering siblings because they feel more relatable and less uncomfortable than bickering couples. Some of their disagreements made the earlier episodes feel less dull I guess.
   
5. Liz/Marie - another team with some good bickering but also seemed upbeat and bubbly. Also had the backstory of racing for their father who recently passed and were underdogs who struggled quite a bit especially getting taxis with no money. Pretty likeable with some fun freakouts (like yelling “Maybe I’m dyslexic” in the first Road Block) but mostly just a generic early boot girl team. Both them and Justin/Jennifer would have made the end game more interesting.
   
6. Laurence/Zac - started off as the classic “sweet parent/child team” but then they showed Laurence being arrogant, thinking he was better than his son at everything (and also being wrong, like when Laurence didn’t want to take notes when disassembling the temple but Zac wanted to) and misogyny (several comments about the girls choosing sewing challenges). Laurence wasn’t hilariously arrogant like Ron (TAR12) but I’d prefer Laurence being a bit controversial than a Steve/Allie or Toni/Dallas who were sweet and boring. So they were fine but not stand out characters.
   
7. Jeremy/Sandy - were boring and were just the generic dating couple with mild bickering. It was almost like watching Jill/Thomas again who were just as irrelevant. Jeremy wanted to win for his son but besides that, they had no storylines and they did nothing memorable. I feel like they may have bickered more than what was shown like Sandy said “You told me yesterday you’d stop yelling at me” which we didn’t see. And Sandy had some minor witty comments if you watch closely but they were very underedited.
   
8. Kaylani/Lisa - had a great 1st leg with “We’re not going anywhere….because YOU have no passport” and surviving the Hazard and the passport situation…but not much after that besides Kaylani doing it for her daughter. Liz/Marie were the more endearing girl team.
   
9. Ethan/Jenna - were called out as threats for both having a million dollars and they thought Jenna was sneaky (plus Jenna being glad Bill/Cathi survived ONLY because they aren’t a threat). The Double elimination backfired because I think producers really wanted Ethan/Jenna to last longer. Jenna had some sass that this season needed but didn’t do much in their 2 legs.
   
10. Ron/Bill - don’t remember a single thing they did besides being the “token gay couple” and being 1 of 2 teams eliminated in the double elimination. Ethan/Jenna were given more focus so Ron/Bill were just a side note. I can’t even tell you how they came last. One of the most irrelevant teams ever even amongst first boots.
    

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Leg Rankings
1.Leg 8 - Denmark (F6 - Laurence/Zac eliminated) - had all the elements of a fantastic episode! A new city in Copenhagen, Flight drama (Cindy ignoring Laurence/Zac, and Amani/Marcus getting a bad flight), driving navigation (with some teams getting lost), an extra challenge which was finding the flags from the tower (Jeremy/Sandy going to the wrong place), I liked the period dancing Road Block (plus Bill sharing his sweet story of him and Cathi being high school sweethearts, with Cindy commenting “We just met in a bar over a shotski” haha), sexual innuendo at the butter churning challenge, placement shifts, a double U-Turn that actually impacts the leg (but doesn’t lead to instant elimination) and a tense finish with a come-from-behind by Amani/Marcus. And Laurence/Zac actually felt like a surprise boot since it seemed like Jeremy/Sandy would be last…so it’s good to feel surprised at the end. This leg had so many more character moments and drama with a more classic competitive feel.

1. Leg 11 - Panama (F4 - Andy/Tommy eliminated) - a great final 4 elimination mostly because of the drama surrounding the taxis working together. It started off with the Tintin challenge which had some fun moments - Andy/Tommy “We are Charlie Chaplin” and Jeremy “You look like a darn hot man” to Sandy dressed up haha The tattoos, high wire and making sandals/deliver seafood aren’t that great but the cryptic clue on the dresses creates a very exciting, tense, and somewhat controversial finish. Very chaotic seeing teams misinterpret the balboas on the dresses, and then 3 taxi drivers working together and screwing over the dominant Andy/Tommy. Whether it was fair or not, it at least got fans talking…because there honestly wasn’t much else to talk about this season haha Panama was a great location, placement shifts and a very memorable finish but misses #1 because not as much happens at the other tasks. Still one of my favourite final segments!
   
2. Leg 1 - Taiwan (F11 - Non elimination) - one of the better opening episodes with enough happening to keep it interesting despite not focusing on lots of teams. Begins with the starting line challenge where Kaylani/Lisa get the Hazard. Kaylani then loses her passport and a fan tweets and was able to return it…plus their bickering “We have to plan…what plan? YOU HAVE NO PASSPORT!” Probably the most fascinating moment of the season and I’m glad they included the fan interference! The billboard was a nice cryptic clue that sent poor Bill/Cathi to a random building for hours. The Confucius proverb challenge was okay (Liz/Marie bickering) but the dragon boat was very dull, although cultural, and it seemed impossible to fail. I would have preferred it to be the Hazard task and have every team do the bungee jump (not many height challenges this season). Didn’t mind the non-elimination here as long as they don’t do leg 1 non-eliminations often.
   
3. Leg 3 - Indonesia (F9 - Kaylani/Lisa eliminated) - had a slowish start but a fantastic finish counting the buddhas and running to the mat. Riding the bikes was pointless besides Cindy freaking out when the pedal broke, the farm detour had some fun moments - Cathi falling many times carrying the sacks in the mud haha and the sheep running away from her haha, Laurence using extra buckets (Andy/Tommy not pointing out the mistake to their allies), Amani/Marcus switching, Sandy reading the clue and being like “We can’t pronounce it” haha. But I loved the final Road Block - watching multiple teams work together to understand the 4 buddha symbols plus Marcus struggling even though he was given the answers earlier haha Great location at the Borobudar Temple! And then a tense race between 3 teams, Marcus/Amani trailing but then overtaking teams at the Road Block, many teams having to race back and pay their taxis before checking in. Would be higher if bigger moments earlier on.
   
4. Leg 2 - Indonesia (F11 - Ron/Bill and Ethan/Jenna eliminated) - challenges were bland with not much happening but the orphanage mistake at the end saves this episode. Some nice character moments at the start which were rare this season - teams congratulating Bill/Cathi on surviving the non-elimination (“Hello, we’re alive” with Bill limping haha) complaining about Ethan/Jenna and a big fight from Justin/Jennifer. Challenges however were really dull - a repel which had no drama, the speed bump was a very uncreative “untying a knot” and dancing for tips/parking motorbikes was bland. However the sign at the orphanage was a unique twist and produced some chaos coupled with the double elimination. I do however feel the editing seemed off and it didn’t feel as tense as it should be (most teams were just told to go back without any stress or emotion). But it did have Cindy having a minor freak out, Justin/Jennifer argued over running (“LEAVE ME ALONE IF I SAID I CANT RUN I CANT RUN!!!!”) and Ethan/Jenna lost their clue for 1 minute.
   
5. Leg 6 - Malawi (F7 - Non elimination) - another leg that was average at the start but ended with a tense final challenge (carrying the beds). These sort of legs would rank lower if in most other seasons. Overall there were some good cultural African tasks but they weren’t that challenging. Delivering the tobacco was a straightforward physical task, and sewing/making toys just aren’t that interesting TV. Laurence tells Jeremy to worry about marrying Sandy because she can’t sew eek but then Laurence cuts himself with the scissors and gets what he deserves for that sexism haha But not much drama or fun moments…and it had that positive feel good energy that seems to run throughout this season. Carrying the beds at the end however had Jeremy/Sandy arguing, a bed awkwardly falling on Cindy (“in African jail” haha and one of the funniest moments of the season), and a tense ending with Bill/Cathi going back to pay their driver and just passing Amani/Marcus on the way back.
   
6. Leg 4 - Thailand (F8 - Non elimination) - a pretty average leg with a decent Detour. Starting with teams mispronouncing Phuket and a small flight scramble (top 2 teams Laurence/Zac and Andy/Tommy work together but end up booking a flight later than everyone else). Planting coral in the watesetting up chairs and umbrellas each had some challenging aspects - one had strong waves (causing many teams to switch) and another had strong winds (umbrellas blowing everywhere…with 1 falling on Liz/Marie haha). Some stress and chaos with bickering from Justin/Jennifer, Jeremy/Sandy and especially Liz/Marie who scream at eachother and struggle with the umbrellas, even when Marcus tries to help them and sweet Bill/Cathi wish them luck as they leave them in last. But dull otherwise - the rock climbing seemed really easy and boring. And no big dramas or storylines or much of anything. Just generic island scenery and not much suspense once Liz/Marie fall behind.
   
7. Leg 9 - Denmark/Belgium (F5 - TBC) - These last 5 legs were generally unremarkable besides some small things here and there. Reciting the Hans Christian Andersen poem at the start was just okay (the judge “I need more drama!” was the star, plus Marcus trying to distract Amani so she won’t be distracted later made no sense haha and also Cindy trying to read the poem but a tour group coming and blocking her view), the puzzle on the Legoland ride was also just okay (“Does anybody have pesto bismol?”) and the bodybuilding had some fun moments with teams stripping to speedos (Cathi being like “my kids will die when they see this, I’m gonna die seeing this” and Phil giving it a go haha) The train equaliser right before it was disappointing but it had Cindy losing their train tickets and hoping a conductor wouldn’t catch them. Amani/Marcus surprisingly come 1st with Marcus “I haven’t been this nervous since I was in the principal’s office in the 3rd grade”. But no storylines, drama or excitement…and just average challenges.
   
8. Leg 12 - USA (F3 - Finale) - one of the duller finales unfortunately. While Marcus struggling at the flight simulator and Jeremy/Sandy going to the wrong “Dump” (a random Home Depot store instead of Margaret Mitchell’s home) were interesting, it also meant Ernie/Cindy took the lead and never lost it. The best finales have multiple teams together at the final challenge…and TAR19 did not have that. The typewriter challenge was too easy - while editing showed teams freaking out over the missing “1”, I’m sure it didn’t take them long to try a “i” or “L”. The memory challenge would have been better if they weren’t given the images in clues because I’m sure Cindy had prepared for this challenge, and she didn’t struggle at all. Ernie/Cindy’s taxi driver missing turns on his GPS was annoying as it was obvious it wouldn’t make a difference. It was a fitting end for Amani/Marcus to fall behind early and Marcus “missed a goal in the end zone and couldn’t close the super bowl” haha
   
9. Leg 7 - Malawi (F7 - Justin/Jennifer eliminated) - a pretty dull leg and was just teams doing generic challenges with no suspense! Challenges weren’t that interesting besides Jennifer not taking her clue on the bike ride and some mild bickering when rowing. The slide puzzle Speed Bump wasn’t that creative either, but Amani/Marcus found it a bit challenging I guess. Andy/Tommy outrunning Ernie/Cindy for 1st place was exciting with a very disappointed Cindy, but the U-Turn was underwhelming with Laurence/Zac U-turning a team in front of them. Justin/Jennifer fell behind early so it was fairly predictable especially with Justin talking about coming out to Jennifer at the start which seemed like a very foreshadowing elimination…which is common this season. The canoe/carrying people off the boat had some bickering and using an Express Pass. It would have been interesting if a team like Liz/Marie had to carry the people off the boat though…which is a possibility if they were still there and got U-Turned.
   
10. Leg 5 - Thailand (F8 - Liz/Marie eliminated) - found this leg boring, terrible challenges, not much drama and worst of all - very terribly designed! A very basic Road Block that was just searching a bit of water, washing an elephant for a Speed Bump, and then reassembling the spirit house - Andy/Tommy “God is definitely greater than a temple” mixed with Jennifer saying “While it may not be the same religion as mine, it still warrants the same amount of respect”. Besides that it was just whether teams took notes or not. Then a bus to Bangkok and some taxi rides to the pit stop. I appreciate some old school navigation dramas - Laurence/Zac getting off a bus because they thought you couldn’t travel first class on buses, Ernie/Cindy have a fight with their taxi driver with a local threatening to call the police (“You were a terrible driver” but feeling bad afterwards) and Liz/Marie having no money and getting free taxi. These little moments and the unique struggle of Liz/Marie stops it from being ranked last.
    
11. Leg 10 - Belgium (F5 - Bill/Cathi eliminated) - Sorry but this was a very boring episode. Challenges were boring, no drama at all, not much difficulty and the teams mostly plodded through with nothing memorable happening. It started with a boring Ford Mustang product placement challenge where nothing happened and took up a lot of airtime. Decorating the waffles was better but not that great either besides a few difficulties, especially Jeremy/Sandy. Cindy laughing “We'll call that waffle Ernie because it farts” haha Releasing and following the pigeons at the end was unique but not something that would alter placements (which the end of a final 5 elimination needs). Amani/Marcus scrape through again in 4th with Marcus of course calling next leg a conference championship. But a sad ending for Bill/Cathi especially knowing that Bill passes away a few years after.
    

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Summary
So I ranked this as the second worst US season so far mostly due to the cast being dull and “too nice” which meant there was less drama in the legs and I genuinely didn’t feel much for the teams at the end. I would even rank it behind unpopular seasons such as TAR4 and TAR8 because they had dynamic characters like Kelly/Jon, Tian/Jaree, The Weavers and The Paolos. It did have some likeable teams so I ranked it above TAR16 which was also a dull season. But this is possibly the most forgettable season - it wasn’t necessarily bad, just not as interesting as most other seasons. Around half the legs were average or dull but there were of course some good legs. Some may like the laid back feel but I didn’t unfortunately.
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So after each season I will place it on a ranking:
1.TAR5 - 10/10

1. TAR3 - 10/10
   
2. TAR12 - 9/10
   
3. TAR17 - 9/10
   
4. TAR18 - 9/10
   
5. TAR2 - 8/10
   
6. TAR7 - 8/10
   
7. TAR11 - 8/10
   
8. TAR13 - 8/10
   
9. TAR6 - 8/10
   
10. TAR10 - 7/10
    
11. TAR14 - 7/10
    
12. TAR1 - 7/10
    
13. TAR9 - 7/10
    
14. TAR15 - 6/10
    
15. TAR4 - 6/10
    
16. TAR8 - 6/10
    
17. TAR19 - 5/10
    
18. TAR16 - 5/10
    

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Post The Last echo of the Lord of Bells. I have to imagine that Kanderon's already legendary status have grown immensely. She somehow overcame the movement limitation of being lich as well as being able to cross thousands of miles from skyhold to Havath City in minutes. And no one knows how she did it.
So if you're a Great power or other nation in Ithos and the greater world of Anastis. You would look back over the last couple years and have to come to certain conclusions. 1. Kanderon became mother of liches to figure out how to overcome the limitation. 2. She has been recruiting powerful members of clans and families and indoctrinating them young in order to grow her power. 3. She has access to powerful magics both local and alien.
And that must terrify them because what else is she hiding.

1. The first one is the easiest one to realize. It's easy to imagine that in the 500 years post the fall of Ithos. She seeded multiple liches across all directions surrounding Skyhold in order to one learn about them and how to experiment with it, but also give the post Ithos empires and warlords a deterrent in attacking her. Because each lich would if not directly opposing said enemies would force them to either pay for passage or go around them. And long supply lines can make or break an army as history has shown.
   
2. We as readers know that the formation of the Hand of the Sphinx was accidental. But from the outside it looks like Kanderon since Alustin has been collecting people with unorthodox affinities and training them to become adaptable agents/weapons. If Alustin, Lorna and the other Librarians were test cases. Then the Hand was the end result.
   

Sabae Kaen Das (The Flea) 4 Natural Affinities but seen as useless because of her close range. Granddaughter of Power of Ras Andis. Known to be interested in politics and the system.
Talia of Clan Castis (The Nightmare) Two Natural Affinities, Limited because of presumptive spellform tattoos that have a negative affect on her magic. From one of the powerful clans.
Godrick (Hammerbreaker) Three Natural affinities. Son of Artur Wallbreaker a suspected Great Power Mercenary. Has a living Elemental as armor.
Hugh of Emblin (The Stormward) Warlock, No natural affinties but immense reservoirs. Known pacted to Kanderon Crux and Mackerel. Acclaimed Wardmaster
Kanderon would have seemingly taken advantage of having these four under her control and assigned Alustin who is known to be closer than most to her and had him train them to be her agents. She would have known that Iliana and Clan Castis would not have allowed her to keep their students under her control forever, but she would have given them something the other hadn't. Control and a way to use their powers. Which the other great powers would know can be immensely powerful. And then when it appears like Alustin betrayed her and stole a weapon from the vault. Her agents somehow sneak out of Skyhold with out Iliana and Indris noticing, vanish for weeks and come back having pacted to each other and gained/learned alien weapons and magics. which they use to great affect in Havath. And in the aftermath of the Fall of Havath vanish again and like Kanderon mentioned when they do reappear will be comfortably in the Great Power range not only with their Anastian Affinities but also utilizing Alien Magics.

1. Kanderon either learned something no one else who has studied becoming a lich has before or used alien magics to deal with the movement issue. It wouldn't surprise me if they are great powers and nations that have a system of trade with alien worlds through the Labyrinth. I would have to go back and check by I'm sure it mentioned that Adventurers can pay to descend the labyrinth for goods and to travel to other worlds. But with her charges having left and come back. Other would presume she has an alternate entrance and map of the Labyrinth network. So not only does she have contacts on Anastis, it would know be suspected that she has contacts and allies off-world as well.

We and the Library know that she utilized her backdoor to into the Expansionist area of the library and then used their door to enter Havath. So only the various member of the Anastis Library council would know and I don't they would be the type to spread that knowledge. So for everyone else she has some sort of teleportation/transportation magic.
They are probably some who think that Alustin did this all under her direction. Because he gains the destruction of Havath which has been a known thing that he has wanted as well as revenge for those that failed Helicote, and she gets to expand her control by making allies during the confusion as well as taking all the weapons that Heliothrax was holding. Or maybe he did rebel and force her to become a lich early but either way she still benefited.
Anyone that is looking to challenge her will have to go over the bones of both empires that challenged her and see the burnt remnants of those that tried to attack Skyhold and have to imagine could I do any better.
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I'm looking to confirm information we are given about these things, primarily regarding their relationships, abilities, and how they interact with the setting. This is so that I can try to better understand the ‘rules’ as they apply to the supernatural in the fiction. I’m not trying to explain anything by doing this, it’s just for my own amusement and edification. Following these encapsulated factoids there are some questions and observations.
Beings: The Arm - A top guy in the extradimensional Red Room. Made some definitive statements above a convenience store. Used to be the arm of Mike. Has a distinct 'sound' and wants Cooper to know it. Handles the Ring except when he's a tree or it's loose on the world. His sound moves down telephone poles (at least certain ones numbered "6") and in or around Mike's camper (at least when chasing Leland and, presumably, Bob). Eats garmonbozia at least once and seems to hold it in high regard. Is not from here, or the Red Room; wherever he's from, there are 'birds' and no shortage of music, according to him. Has been seen in dreams. When he's not a tree, he seems delighted about lots of things which can seem incongruous or unnerving to us. He isn't sure if it's future or past, or if it's the Story of the Little Girl Who Lived Down the Lane (unless his questions regarding these were rhetorical), but he knows something about gum in the future (relative to humans). Has abilities which are like magic to us, at least in the Red Room. Has a doppelganger. Once while he looked like a little man, he appeared somewhere, briefly, that wasn't the Red Room or a dream. He did this one other time while he was a tree.
BOB - A possessing spirit who usually looks human to those who can see him. Can collect garmonbozia. His actions and attitudes would be considered evil by many humans. When he doesn't look completely human, he looks like a dark orb with his (human) face inside. Was observed being regurgitated by a white figure, along with eggs, and maybe gel, by the Fireman. Met a young Leland Palmer as "Robertson" and remained near Leland thereafter when not possessing him. Began abusing Laura Palmer when she was 12 and appeared enamored with the idea of corrupting and/or possessing her. Appears to have entered into some sort of agreement with the Arm concerning the latter's ring and garmonbozia. He is seen moving into, out from, and within the Red Room, however he doesn't seem to be able to go there at will, at least not while possessing/inhabiting Cooper's doppelganger. Speaking of which, he seems to have hit things off pretty well with Cooper's Doppelganger, at least initially. He is eventually pulverized by Freddie Sykes using a glove the Fireman directed Freddie to obtain. He seems to have both altered time and claimed a soul while in the Red Room. He may have an association with and abilities concerning owls.
MIKE - A possessing spirit who once had Bob as his familiar. Manages the Ring outside of the Red Room and when the Arm is handless. Had a "fire walk with me" tattoo on the arm that became the Arm. The same arm was "touched by the devilish one". After seeing the "face" of "God" he stopped doing Bob stuff with Bob and cut the naughty arm off. No longer on great terms with Bob, but seems to get on well with the Arm despite his removal of the latter. Like the Arm, he asks to clarify if it is future or past. In addition, he mentions futures past in his "Fire Walk With Me" poem, which he seems to get a kick out of. Knows his way around the Red Room(s) and some other hard to reach and/or navigate places. Knows when Bob is around when interacting with the human world. Can also tell when something is wrong. Can wave his remaining arm around and command you to not die (the one time he is seen doing this, the person does not die, so 100% success rate). Can appear, along with the Red Room, on the floor to tell you stuff. Can make tulpas using a golden seed, a piece of the person the tulpa should resemble, and a power not unlike electricity. Perhaps for this reason he seems to think highly of electricity.
The Experiment - Observed in a void apparently inside the Trinity explosion by the Fireman. At that time it released a spew of eggs and goop with Bob. Appeared inside a glass box in New York shortly after Cooper. While there, its form did not seem as fixed as it did when observed in the void. It was able to shatter glass and violently murdinate two people regardless. May have a proboscis inside its face (seen in still images). May have had a yellow orb in its hand when it materialized in the glass box (also seen in stills). May or may not be Judy. May or may not have impersonated Phillip Jefferies. Was seen inside Sarah Palmer when the latter lifted her face off.
The Fireman - Lives in a mansion somewhere with Senorita Dido. Responded to an alarm by observing the Trinity explosion, the Experiment, and Bob. Can levitate. Can emit some golden matter or image from his head. An orb with Laura Palmer's face in it eventually emerged from this emission. Is known to have collaborated with Dale Cooper, Andy Brennan, Freddie Sykes, and Garland Briggs’ head. This collaboration resulted in Bob's pulverization. Stated to Cooper that "It" is in what he called "our house", which appeared to concern Cooper. Stated "It all cannot be said aloud now" and thereafter seemed to communicate with minimal vocalization.
The Grandson - Hung out above a convenience store with his grandmother. Made a statement in response to Bob's fury. Lived next door to Harold Smith. Studied magic. Wears a mask like the Jumping Man's but without eyes sometimes. May go by the names Tremond and/or Chalfont. Might have a monkey inside his face, or maybe that's a magic trick. Has been observed in dreams. May have manipulated events in an attempt to get the Ring to Laura Palmer.
Mrs. Tremond - Attended a meeting above a convenience store. While she said nothing, she didn't look pleased while watching Bob and the Arm making some agreement. Has a fancy painting which she gives to Laura Palmer. Can walk away surprisingly fast. May also go by the name Chalfont. Did not request creamed corn. Directs Donna Hayward to speak with Harold Smith about Laura. Has been observed in dreams. May have manipulated events in an attempt to get the Ring to Laura Palmer.
The Jumping Man - Attended a meeting above a convenience store where he jumped around and made vocalizations, but otherwise seemed uninterested in the proceedings. Sometimes he carries a stick thing, which he might share with the Grandson. Speaking of whom, the Jumping Man's face/mask resembles a mask worn by the Grandson. The Jumping Man's face/mask resembles the face of a frogmoth which crawled inside a girl's mouth in 1956. Is present in an area apparently adjacent to the Dutchman's on two occasions when a Cooper was on his way to visit Phillip Jefferies. Took off in a hurry on one of those occasions.
Woodsmen - Gathered around a convenience store like flies at around the same time as the Trinity explosion. Did something in that store which was associated with flashing, smoke, and cans being stacked. In 1956, several appeared in New Mexico. One asked everyone he met for a light, but this seemed rhetorical. This same Woodsman went to a radio station, squished a woman's head, and recited a poem while holding a man's head and causing his victim to experience fear and pain. This same Woodsman squished the man's head at the conclusion of his broadcast and left for parts unknown. Woodsmen are seen in areas adjacent to the Dutchman's and the convenience store. Two attended a meeting above the convenience store. Some operate devices, one of which seems to control access to the Dutchman. When out and about, woodsmen are ghostly and seem to phase in and out. They have an interest in a vortex located in Buckhorn, SD. They had an interest in the activities of William Hastings until the latter led the FBI to said vortex, at which time a woodsman squished poor Hastings head in. They are observed floating from somewhere down to New Mexico in 1956 and the head of one woodsman floated up after his body disappeared from a jail cell. On two occasions, when Cooper's doppelganger is killed, woodsmen appear and do something to the body. This seems to involve Bob, who was present inside the doppelganger both times, and lots of blood. The result in the first case is the doppelganger's revival. In the second case, Bob left the doppelganger's corpse but there were extenuating circumstances so it is unclear if Bob's escape was the intended result. In both cases, the woodsmen do nothing else, so presumably they could not or chose not to squish any heads.
Doppelgangers - Near duplicates of certain other beings. Have some characteristics (like fingerprints) reversed. Tend to be unpleasant. Seem to exist exclusively in the Red Room unless the original is there, in which case the doppelganger can leave. There are conditions to doppelganger life, but it is possible to circumvent them with clever tricks. Such trickery makes it difficult for the original to leave the Red Room. If both the original and the doppelganger are out of the Red Room, one of them must die according to Mike. The only doppelganger we get to know is amoral and totally self-interested. Every doppelganger we meet is someone known to Cooper.
Locations:
Red Room - Humans generally seem to equate this place with the Black Lodge. There is one Red Room with three chairs, two lamps, a stand, a souvenir from the World's Fair, and a Venus de Medici statue. There are many similar rooms, some empty, some furnished, some occupied, and there are adjoining hallways which can be empty or have a Venus de Milo statue which may or may not be a trick. There is also a room with a dark marble table with a fancy golden clam shell base which seems to be the preferred place for the Ring to be kept when not in use.
Convenience Store - Seems to have been a physical location when Trinity took place, or shortly thereafter. Like the Woodsmen who started hanging out there, it now seems to phase in and out. Despite having a single story, there is a room above it and it is possible to get to the Dutchman from there, at least with a guide.
Mansion Room - Has a balcony overlooking a purple sea. You can fall here from somewhere like outer space. Cooper arrived here after the Arm’s doppelganger ejected Cooper from a hallway in or adjacent to the Red Room and after landing in a glass box and being ejected from that. Has furnishings which don’t seem important, except for a giant wall socket, a lamp near it, and a ladder leading to above or outside the room. The socket seems to connect to electrical outlets near Cooper’s lookalikes. It’s unknown why and we also don’t know if it can connect to other places. Time seems to have something to do with where the socket goes as does the setting on a bell shaped object on top of it. If you change the setting on the bell, you can get zapped. If you’re on top of the room, you can fall off. The place the room occupies looks like the space Cooper fell through. It doesn’t seem possible to reach the top of the room from the door. The door seems pretty sturdy. Both times Cooper entered the room, it had one occupant and both of them seemed to know something about Cooper and where he was supposed to be.
The Dutchman's Lodge - Was once a real place in Montana. It can be accessed from above the Convenience Store. Phillip Jefferies occupies room number 8 or a room behind a wall in room number 8. The door to his room is kept locked, but a spooky lady might unlock the door for you. If you leave via telephone, you arrive at a phone booth outside the convenience store. Objects:
The Ring - Has an extensive history which is not touched upon in the series. Is usually worn on the left hand ring finger. Can cause arm numbness. Used by the Arm as a symbol of his agreement with Bob; either the Ring or the agreement seemed to delight them both. It is seen worn by humans, Mike (but not on the ring finger), and is carefully handled by Mike and/or the Arm in the Red Room. The humans seen wearing it are usually victims of some untimely end. Laura wearing it appeared to cause Leland distress and seems to have directly led to his and Bob’s murder of her. Phillip Jefferies may have mentioned this Ring during a visit to Philadelphia. Chet Desmond disappeared while reaching for the ring when he discovered it resting on a pile of dirt under Deputy Howard’s trailer. The symbol on the Ring appears elsewhere several times. The Arm offered the Ring to Laura during a dream and Cooper earnestly advised her not to take it. Mike delivered it to Laura immediately prior to her murder and seemed rather pleased with himself for having done so. At the time of their deaths, Ray Monroe and Cooper’s doppelganger, or some aspect of them, are transported to the Red Room when the Ring is placed on their left ring finger. Both times, the Ring is transported to the Red Room. The Ring also accompanies the tulpa Dougie Jones when he is drawn back to the Red Room in place of Cooper’s doppelganger.
Garmonbozia - Looks like creamed corn. Might be creamed corn, but is called garmonbozia by the Arm above a convenience store. We are to understand garmonbozia as “pain and sorrow” when the Arm and Mike demand their garmonbozia from Bob. A significant amount of garmonbozia was on the formica table above the Convenience Store during a meeting held there. Mike yells at Leland Palmer about stolen corn which had been canned above the store. We see cans being stacked at the Convenience Store when the woodsmen seemingly first gathered there. We see Bob remove blood stains from Leland following Laura’s murder, then he seems to transmute it into garmonbozia in response to Mike and the Arm’s demand. We then see the Arm slurp creamed corn from a spoon. Cooper’s doppelganger appears to be filled with the stuff, and the Dougie Jones tulpa had a bit inside him as well.
Painting of a Door - Mrs. Tremond gives this to Laura along with some decorating advice. Laura abandons it on a neighbors lawn because she had other things on her mind, but remembers it when getting ready for bed. In her dreams, Laura enters the door seen in the picture and sees or enters the Red Room with guidance from Mrs. Tremond and some magic performed by her Grandson. The result of dreamwalking into the painting is Laura seeing the Ring, the Arm, Cooper, Annie Blackburn, and making an important note in her diary. The doorway looks a little like the area adjacent to the Convenience Store and the Dutchman. Other Stuff: • I’m assuming the Giant and the Fireman are the same being • Some stuff we don’t have a lot of information about is left out • Humans, and former humans, with magical powers are left out • Things we seem to understand well enough like tulpas, Glastonbury Grove, and Jackrabbit’s Palace are left out. Questions and Observations
Lodge Spirit Concept: The only supernatural beings we see in the Red Room/Black Lodge are Mike, Bob, the Arm, tulpas, doppelgangers, the waiter, and the Giant. The other beings seen above the Convenience Store are not seen in the Red Room, which makes me question the idea that they are “lodge spirits” although that seems to be a common way of categorizing them. On the other hand, the legends concerning the woods, the fact that the Convenience Store appears in wooded areas, and that Cooper’s doppelganger appears to be led further into the woods to reach the Dutchman, albeit on a different layer of reality, could mean that all of those places are the Black Lodge.
Garmonbozia: We only see the Arm actually consume any. Other than canning above the store, the only garmonbozia collection we see is by Bob from Laura’s murder. Nevertheless, it appears to be generally assumed that the collection and consumption of garmonbozia is of primary interest to all of these spirits, including the Experiment and Judy, and excluding the Giant and his friends. Is there more information which supports this idea?
Meeting Above the Convenience Store: At the conclusion of the meeting, after the Arm and Bob come to an agreement, Bob claps, a glow appears, then we see the red curtains and Bob and the Arm enter them. In the Missing Pieces, Bob’s clap is followed by impressive whooshing and the warm glow illuminates the Arm’s face. He looks pretty impressed and maybe surprised. The Arm and Bob enter the curtains quite happily, and there is what seems to be a POV shot of the Red Room, furnished but unoccupied. In both versions of the scene, Bob leads the way through the curtains. The Missing Pieces version in particular makes me wonder if the conclusion of the meeting is actually the first time the Arm has been there and Bob is showing the Arm in.
Woodsmen: These guys seem pretty important, almost foundational or elemental. In part 8 they appear immediately after Trinity detonates and we see a bunch of stuff going on apparently either inside of the explosion or on the other side of the explosion. First the convenience store has activity, but no visible woodsmen, then they appear and eventually go inside to have a rave, immediately after which, we see the Experiment and her puke stream. I’ve seen the woodsmen’s action inside the store described as a ritual and I’ve read that Mark Frost said their appearance is a direct result of Trinity. In their later (chronologically in the narrative) appearances, the woodsmen usually appear to phase in and out. They seem to react positively to the presence of energy. It seems to me like they are drawing power from the running cars they encounter in the desert and earlier in the episode they slowly disappear after Ray drives off. They may have just been finished in that scene, but Frost’s comments combined with these examples suggest to me that the woodsmen need a source of energy to fully manifest. Trinity seems to either have opened the world to them, or given them enough energy to manifest initially. It also seems like we have them to thank for Bob, the eggs, and the Experiment all coming through, and for giving at least one frogmoth a host. The other stuff they do is squish heads and escort people to supernatural spaces, but not the Red Room or the places associated with the Fireman and the purple sea. They are very particular about the heads they squish, and I wonder if that is because of their energy requirements. Something I learned from a behind the scenes vignette regarding the Woodsman at the radio station was the direction given to one of the victims. David Lynch said something to the effect of ‘now he’s holding your head and you’re feeling his pain’. It’s possible he said “this pain” but I was pretty sure he said “his”. This was the woman at the station so if I heard correctly ‘his pain’ seems to refer to the Woodsman. This was very interesting to me.
The Ring, the Arm, Cooper, and Chet Desmond: The ring is strongly associated with the Arm in FWWM. After Desmond disappears, “Let’s Rock” is written on Desmond’s car, which, of course, is the first thing the Arm says to Cooper (chronologically in production and airing, not necessarily in the narrative). In FWWM and the Return, the Arm and Mike are manipulating things behind the scenes, particularly events surrounding Cooper during the Return. This makes me wonder if the Arm wanted Cooper specifically to investigate the Teresa Banks murder. There’s a lot of weirdness in the Deer Meadow episode, especially at the Fat Trout. We hear the Arm’s sound there and that strange lady holding ice over her eye who comes to Teresa’s trailer door during the investigation looks around, is seen and addressed by Desmond, and then she trembles and backs away. That reminded me of the way the Arm trembles before speaking in Cooper’s dream. Altogether, this has me thinking the Arm was expecting Cooper and was not pleased that it was Desmond who arrived to investigate.
I’m now recalling my thoughts at the conclusion of the Deer Meadow episode back when I first watched FWWM. This would have been in the late 90’s or maybe even 2000. It was probably 1999, but in any event, I had first developed an interest in Lynch from a cinephile friend and I had seen Twin Peaks only once before. And that was on VHS so I wasn’t going back and analyzing things unless it was to rewind a scene because I missed dialogue or something. At that time, I only discussed it with one or two friends who had seen the series and it never occurred to me to go to the internet and read about theories or explanations. When I saw “Let’s Rock” on Desmond’s car with Cooper and Carl looking at it, I immediately assumed that Desmond had been possessed by MIKE and went on a murder spree up until the time Mike cut off his arm. I don’t think that now, but it made the most sense to me at that moment. Of course, nothing we see later in the film suggests that, and obviously nothing else does either, but I found it interesting that I had had that idea, then forgotten it for so long. Frogmoth - Are all of the eggs potential frogmoths? Is it reasonable to assume that more than one crawled into someone’s mouth in 1956? Did the woodsmen know that was going to happen? Are frogmoths spies for the Experiment/Judy? Assuming there’s more than one, are they independent or part of a group mind?
Possession - Whatever is inside Sarah when she pulls her face off seems to occupy extradimensional space, however the frogmoth and Bob’s orb seem to occupy physical reality. In the case of Bob, he’s also made of supernatural substance which can just float up through the ceiling, but he’s at least partly physical. I never thought of possession involving physical occupation of the host until the Return. In Bob’s case, not only is he unique, but both times he comes out of Cooper’s double, woodsmen are there so that may have something to do with his physical nature. The frogmoth definitely seems to be a living parasitic creature with puppeteering ability.
Jumping Man - I’m increasingly convinced that the Jumping Man, as seen in the Return, is a supernatural projection, or the consciousness of, Sarah’s frogmoth. Is there any reason I shouldn’t think that? Black Lodge Influence - It seems to me that ‘lodge spirits’ are really interested in shaping human events, especially with regard to Cooper and Laura. Maybe that’s the key distinction between the Black and White Lodges? Black is hands on and White is hands off? At least until you start making nukes.
Spirit Families - While spirits and other supernatural things are commonly grouped as lodge spirits it seems like there are different groups which sometimes cooperate. The woodsmen seem like one thing, Mike and the arm are another, Bob seems unique, the Experiment seems unique, the grandmother and grandson I dunno, the Fireman and Senorita Dido obviously go together. The Fireman and the Arm seem similar to me. Both hang out primarily in one place and work behind the scenes, but both can make contact with humans in some way and both have humans visit them in their homes. In my head canon, Mrs. Tremond and her grandson are new incarnation of the characters from The Grandmother. Why Cooper? - It seems like Cooper was chosen by supernatural forces to do something. I think the in-universe explanation that makes sense to me is that his interest in these things has drawn their attention, which increased how often and closely Cooper investigated them, and so on.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/throwaway-multilingo
AITAH for telling a friend what her tattoo really says?
Originally posted to AITAH
TRIGGER WARNING: Racism
Original Post Jan 2, 2024
Throwaway, friend group knows my main account. I (37M) went out New Year's Eve with a group of friends, and the group had some friends of friends, basically people I've only known in passing. One of them, Andy(39M) brought his girlfriend Julie (30'sF).
Julie decided to show a tattoo she got last week. She rolled up her sleeve to show it, and she announced proudly it said "Strength and Beauty" in Chinese. It was on her forearm and I almost spit take.
Now, I have to explain I'm half Korean, but people have mistaken me as hispanic, so I don't really look Korean to most westerners. I'm also not fluent, but conversational in Korean and able to read. The tattoo was in Hangul characters, and it definitely did NOT say "Strength and Beauty".
Julie got upset at my spit take and asked what my problem was. I said "It's not Chinese, and it doesn't say what you think it does". She got even more mad and said what I would know. I explained I was Korean-American, can read Korean, and what it says is not nice.
I asked her what happened at the tattoo shop and she said she always wanted to get asian characters, and went to a shop and saw a 'chinese guy' in the shop and demanded he be the one to do her ink. I asked Julie and Andy if Julie did anything that could've pissed the tattoo artist off.
She denied it, but Andy confessed she was super pushy about it and kept saying she wanted him to do it over any other artist in the shop because he would be used to the characters, plus a few other statements. By this point she was crying and not enjoying hanging out for New Year's Eve. She wanted to leave wanted Andy to take her.
On her way out, she asked me what it said. I said "It's like the worst thing you could call a woman, it's like 'bitch' but worse." She just burst into tears while walking out. After the two of them left, the rest of my friends said I was a real jerk for spoiling her new tattoo and I could have made something up or not reacting.
I had to explain that the word used is really a cultural faux pas and to see it on skin is shocking to the highest degree, and the fact I was sipping on a beer when she revealed it only made a spit take impossible to avoid. Well, this morning I got some messages from friends saying I really should apologize to Julie for traumatizing her about her tattoo.
I feel like this is ridiculous, like, it's a really vulgar word on her arm, and if I had that on my skin I'd like to know. But everyone else thinks that I should have just complimented her instead. So, Reddit, am I the asshole for revealing to a friend what her tattoo actually says?
RELEVANT COMMENTS
LolaLazuliLapis

u/throwaway-multilingo, so you're just not going to tell us the word? I can read hangul👀

OOP

hangul

I was told to never say it, and that it has very very negative connotations with women.
년

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Oragain09

I cannot read Hangul. Is it the c-word? That’s my guess from context clues

OOP

it roughly is like 'bitch', but it's very rude so it might be closer to the c-word.

TOP COMMENTS
CrabbyOlLyberrian

NTA. Hangul and Chinese characters are COMPLETELY different!! She's embarrassed, and rightfully so bc she effd up. Personally, I think you did her a solid by pointing it out. Offer to get a sharpie and "fix" until she can get it covered. *sigh

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Celestria-Messenger

If I had a vulgarity inked on my body , I would be so thankful someone told me. You did the right thing.

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AnakinSkywalkerisfav

NTA, you didn't give her the shitty tattoo, you informed her that it said something bad. Everyone is only mad at you because you brought it to light, as you should. If I had what sounds like a possible slur on my arm, I would want to know ASAP so I could get the tattoo covered up or laser removed.

Update Jan 7, 2024
UPDATE: My friends contacted me a day later and apologized for responding to me that way they did New Year's Eve. They said they were more worried about the NYE party being brought down that night, but after sleeping on it and getting back to work most of them realized they too would have wanted to know if they got branded with a vulgar word.
Also, very few knew Julie, and only knew her through Andy, so they mostly tolerate her. Apparently this isn't her first incident either. And, Julie isn't white, which is kind of funny everyone painting her as some blonde white girl, lol. I decided to play peacemaker and talked to Andy and Julie, and even offered to meet them at the tattoo shop.
We went Friday night, walked in and I saw the tattoo artist in question. Funny thing is most asians can tell I'm half asian by looking, so he saw he and went "You told her what it said, yes?" kind of nonchalantly in Korean. We had a brief discussion in Korean(he remarked my accent had a 'American twang' to it, asked where my family was from, found out both our families came from the same city).
The gist is I pointed out he could get sued for the tat, he admitted he pressed his luck with it, and offered to pay out of his pocket for another artist in the shop to do a coverup. I relayed that back to Julie, and that seemed to appease her. She went to one of the, I guess tattoo people would call it a work station? and he explained that she still has to wait 2 months.
Julie didn't like that, even when the artist explained that standard procedure is to wait two months for a tat to heal until a cover up is done. Andy thankfully googled it and pointed out that 2 months seems to be a minimum, and more complex tattoos have up to six months recommended healing before a cover job. She accepted the offer for a free cover and paperwork was signed and such.
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

They're just so sanctimonious and douchy that it makes them super fun for me to read, I think they do a good job of serving as a reminder to the reader that the imperium isn't meant to be rooted for. Inquisitors are genocidal assholes who throw away planets worth of lives on a whim, and it's them who the Imperium gives whatever they ask, they're given any tools at the Emperor's disposal to enact "his will."
And this is what makes them so silly and fun to read for me, they're so set on whatever their goal is at the time and have so many resources at their disposal that they're pretty unique at least in a few ways every time they show up in a story. It's like the opposite of why I like reading guard. Whereas guard are neat to me because they're normal dudes with a lot of zeal trying to fight inhuman abominations, Inquisitors are spoiled sociopaths given the authority to do whatever they want so they just talk as much shit as they want and try to boss people around by going "my words are the words of the Emperor!" Whenever anyone has a problem.
I think they're hilarious. I think their "accomplish my mission against aliens/chaos at ANY cost" nature is super interesting and serves as a good representation of the Imperium's madness as a whole.
Obviously inquisitors come in more than one flavor and some can be pretty chill relatively, douchebag ones like this are just my favorite to read personally
and that brings me to one of my favorite Inquisitors I've read recently, Inquisitor Nerissa.
Context: Gabriel Seth, chapter master of the Flesh Tearers is helping some guard fight Orks on Armageddon when a psyker Inquisitor named Nerissa suddenly enlists him and his squad to help her find a forgotten titan that might be hidden in a mine at the bottom of Armageddon's boiling sea. Her doing this causes the guard Seth was helping to die. She doesn't care because she feels her thing is more important. She spends the entire mission mouthing off to him, Gabriel Seth, the barely loyalist cannibal who's more likely to rip her throat out than literally any other loyalist chapter master in the galaxy. Love the balls on her fr. If you haven't read it before I strongly recommend Trial By Blood, great little Flesh Tearers anthology with some beautiful cultural insight into the Blood Angels as a whole.

‘If that happens, the flank of Hive Prime will be exposed,’ said Seth.
‘You are correct, Gabriel.’ The female voice preceded a series of footsteps as the newcomer paced into the room. ‘But there is more at stake here than the fate of one world.’ Seth rounded on the woman. An Inquisitorial pendant hung around her neck. His face hardened. An agent of the ordos heralded nothing but strife.
‘You will address me as Chapter Master, inquisitor.’
‘My apologies, Chapter Master.’ The inquisitor moved past Seth to stand at the head of the room. ‘I am Inquisitor Nerissa. Here by order of the Emperor Himself.’
‘I doubt you had crawled from your mother’s womb when last the Emperor gave an order.’
‘I am an agent of the Emperor’s most holy Inquisition. Every act I undertake is by His order, whether He speaks the words or not.’
‘What do you want?’ asked Seth.
‘Why is it, do you think, that the orks have returned to Armageddon?’
‘I do not wish to understand the xenos, only to kill them,’ said Seth.
Nerissa smiled, though her face held no warmth. ‘If that were true, then I fear the Flesh Tearers would be no more than the bloody berserkers they are rumoured to be.’
‘Tread carefully, inquisitor. Your rank affords you a measure of protection, but you are not among friends.’
‘War does not continue to find this world by chance.’ Nerissa moved towards the hololith control panel as she spoke. Manipulating the controls, she brought the image of the mine into sharp relief. ‘Though they may not themselves know it, I believe that the orks have been drawn here. Summoned to the mine by a psyche more attuned to war than even the greenskins’.’ The hololith shivered as the mine faded away, dissolving to reveal what lay beneath it.
‘A Titan?’ Seth’s voice dropped to a whisper.
When the hive is secure and the orks have been driven back I will reconsider your request.’
‘You misunderstand me. This is not a request.’
‘And you misunderstand our relationship. I am not beholden to you, inquisitor.’
+It saddens me, Chapter Master, that you would condemn your Chapter to extermination over something as trivial as a few million lives.+ Nerissa pushed her words into Seth’s mind.
‘Speak plainly, witch.’ Unlike Nerissa, Seth was no psyker, but the anger boiling through him cut her mind like a dagger.
‘If you refuse me… If you will not do your duty, then I shall ensure my colleagues in the ordos perform theirs.’ Nerissa’s eyes narrowed. ‘When was the last time you submitted a batch of gene-seed for testing, Flesh Tearer?’
‘You dare threaten me?’
‘I am an agent of the Throne! There is nothing I dare not, or cannot, do in my duty to the Emperor.’
‘Enough, both of you. Seth, Dante believes Nerissa to be correct. He would have you do this. I will redeploy Third Company to bolster Volcanus’s defences.’

^ this is Captain Tycho, he's the one in charge of the Blood Angel's operation on Armageddon in this short story.

Nerissa grinned. ‘Do not mistake me for an ally, inquisitor,’ Tycho growled. ‘If you threaten a descendant of Sanguinius again, I will smash your bones and cast you into the deepest pit of Baal.’

Seth and his squad end up accompanying Nerissa and her squad in a thunder hawk to Armageddon's boiling ocean so they can use another Titan to try to find the forgotten one. There's a very heavy war on the ground happening at the same time and Gabriel Seth takes issue with how flippantly Nerissa is sacrificing the lives of the Emperor's servants as she's sacrificing a lot of lives to get them there in the first place and also literally taking a Titan away from the already struggling ground force's war effort.

‘We are only travelling as far as the defence line at Sreya Ridge, where we will rendezvous with the 11th Armoured and travel the rest of the way on the ground.’ Nerissa tapped a dial on her gauntlet and a hololith sprang from it to fill the space in the centre of the gunship’s hold.
(One of Seth's squad)Metatron sat forward, studying the hololith as a series of icons and vector-tags detailed their route from the ridge to the ore mine. ‘The orks have crippled the infrastructure. There is no bridge, inquisitor. We cannot reach the mine overland…’ Metatron paused as details of the Imperial forces stationed at Sreya scrolled over the image. ‘The Validus…?’
‘You are astute, for a soldier,’ Nerissa grinned. ‘The Validus is void-shielded and stands taller than the deepest recorded furrow of the Boiling Sea. It will carry us to the mine.’
‘What of the 11th? The Validus cannot carry them all,’ asked Metatron.
‘She does not mean to take them with us,’ said Seth.
‘The 11th will cover our advance and buy us enough time to complete our mission,’ said Nerissa.
(Seth)‘And what of them then? The plains north of Sreya are overrun by heavy ork war-engines, and more than a battalion of their towering idols. The 11th will perish without the Validus’s support.’
‘It seems you have answered your own question, Chapter Master.’
(Seth)‘Pilot, turn us around.’ Seth got to his feet and turned towards the cockpit.
‘No! Stay on course. This is my mission, my command.’ Nerissa stood, barring Seth’s way. Seth growled. It took every ounce of his restraint not to rip the inquisitor’s head from her shoulders.
Around them, Nerissa’s retinue tensed in apprehension, their hands edging towards weapons.
The two females, bound in tight leathers, wielded slender power swords, their faces hidden behind masks of skin.
The larger of the males was covered in crude tattoos and the litany of penance had been burned into the flesh of his left arm.
The fourth was more machine than man, the lower part of his face and most of his torso replaced with augmetics.
Nerissa had come ready for war, but if she thought that even warriors as dangerous as these would buy her a single second against his wrath, she was gravely mistaken.
(Seth)‘Arrogance has made you foolish. The ridge is under heavy assault. The entire region is embroiled in a full-scale engagement. We’ll be blown from the air before we get within a kilometre of the Validus.’
(Nerissa)‘I have diverted a squadron of Vendettas and a wing of Thunderbolts to cover our approach. The orks will have more than enough to worry about.’
(Seth) ‘And who were they supposed to be covering? Who else have you left to die?’
‘I don’t know, and I don’t care,’ said Nerissa.
(Seth)‘The lives of the Emperor’s servants are not yours to waste.’
(Nerissa)‘They are! That is what it means to be of the ordos. I would sacrifice every man, woman and child in this sector to do the Emperor’s work. It is a shame you do not share the same clarity of purpose, Flesh Tearer.’
‘Know this, inquisitor.’ Seth’s voice dripped with menace. ‘It is only my oath to Dante that keeps me from ripping your heart out.’
‘You–’ Nerissa began, trailing off as the gunship shuddered violently and a slew of weapon impacts rang out against its hull.

And here's one more scene I like of her

Seth turned his gaze to Nerissa. Her face was impassive, as steely cold as her actions. ‘You would use the tools of the xenos to do the Emperor’s work?’ He gestured to the pendant hanging around the inquisitor’s neck. It was a single oval gem, the colour of darkness and blood. He had seen its like before, affixed to the breastplates of the accursed eldar.
Nerissa glanced down at the gem. ‘A weapon is a weapon, is it not? It is the wielder that is important.’
‘Perhaps. But the worth of a warrior can be judged by the weapons they use to make war.’
+So what then is your worth, Chapter Master? What will history remember of a warrior who deploys black-armoured beasts to fight his battles?+ Seth grimaced, suppressing a growl as Nerissa forced her words into his mind.
+Be careful to what you turn your thoughts, inquisitor. You of all people should know that a mind that wanders in dark places is soon lost.+

Really like this story and this entire book and the amazing writer who wrote it, Andy Smillie is working on the 40k show, so that's something to be excited about.
These are honestly some of the more boring parts of this story lol, there's deeper stuff than just the Ork invasion going on in this one as well, moreso dealing with the black rage and another Inquisitor who shows up in another story in the book, but I don't want to spoil it as it's a neat ending.

Throwaway, friend group knows my main account. I (37M) went out New Year's Eve with a group of friends, and the group had some friends of friends, basically people I've only known in passing. One of them, Andy(39M) brought his girlfriend Julie (30'sF).
Julie decided to show a tattoo she got last week. She rolled up her sleeve to show it, and she announced proudly it said "Strength and Beauty" in Chinese. It was on her forearm and I almost spit take.
Now, I have to explain I'm half Korean, but people have mistaken me as hispanic, so I don't really look Korean to most westerners. I'm also not fluent, but conversational in Korean and able to read. The tattoo was in Hangul characters, and it definitely did NOT say "Strength and Beauty".
Julie got upset at my spit take and asked what my problem was. I said "It's not Chinese, and it doesn't say what you think it does". She got even more mad and said what I would know. I explained I was Korean-American, can read Korean, and what it says is not nice.
I asked her what happened at the tattoo shop and she said she always wanted to get asian characters, and went to a shop and saw a 'chinese guy' in the shop and demanded he be the one to do her ink. I asked Julie and Andy if Julie did anything that could've pissed the tattoo artist off.
She denied it, but Andy confessed she was super pushy about it and kept saying she wanted him to do it over any other artist in the shop because he would be used to the characters, plus a few other statements. By this point she was crying and not enjoying hanging out for New Year's Eve. She wanted to leave wanted Andy to take her.
On her way out, she asked me what it said. I said "It's like the worst thing you could call a woman, it's like 'bitch' but worse." She just burst into tears while walking out. After the two of them left, the rest of my friends said I was a real jerk for spoiling her new tattoo and I could have made something up or not reacting.
I had to explain that the word used is really a cultural faux pas and to see it on skin is shocking to the highest degree, and the fact I was sipping on a beer when she revealed it only made a spit take impossible to avoid. Well, this morning I got some messages from friends saying I really should apologize to Julie for traumatizing her about her tattoo.
I feel like this is ridiculous, like, it's a really vulgar word on her arm, and if I had that on my skin I'd like to know. But everyone else thinks that I should have just complimented her instead. So, Reddit, am I the asshole for revealing to a friend what her tattoo actually says?
UPDATE: My friends contacted me a day later and apologized for responding to me that way they did New Year's Eve. They said they were more worried about the NYE party being brought down that night, but after sleeping on it and getting back to work most of them realized they too would have wanted to know if they got branded with a vulgar word.
Also, very few knew Julie, and only knew her through Andy, so they mostly tolerate her. Apparently this isn't her first incident either. And, Julie isn't white, which is kind of funny everyone painting her as some blonde white girl, lol. I decided to play peacemaker and talked to Andy and Julie, and even offered to meet them at the tattoo shop.
We went Friday night, walked in and I saw the tattoo artist in question. Funny thing is most asians can tell I'm half asian by looking, so he saw he and went "You told her what it said, yes?" kind of nonchalantly in Korean. We had a brief discussion in Korean(he remarked my accent had a 'American twang' to it, asked where my family was from, found out both our families came from the same city).
The gist is I pointed out he could get sued for the tat, he admitted he pressed his luck with it, and offered to pay out of his pocket for another artist in the shop to do a coverup. I relayed that back to Julie, and that seemed to appease her. She went to one of the, I guess tattoo people would call it a work station? and he explained that she still has to wait 2 months.
Julie didn't like that, even when the artist explained that standard procedure is to wait two months for a tat to heal until a cover up is done. Andy thankfully googled it and pointed out that 2 months seems to be a minimum, and more complex tattoos have up to six months recommended healing before a cover job. She accepted the offer for a free cover and paperwork was signed and such.

Just a few things I’ve noticed while rewatching and checking out the subs. Not hating on the show but now that I’ve processed my feelings regarding the finale lol I’m looking back to see if I can fill in or explain any of the holes and I’m not quite finding that.
Plane data that was purchased of Lu Mei and Bill from Hong Kong, who bought it and what was the point of that
Bill’s tattoo inconsistencies. The 55 feels like it’s never in the same spot and at Ray’s Tavern he doesn’t seem to have them, but when they video chat before that he does? The only thing I can completely forgive in this area is his line by his ear half fading in one scene, but they were filming in a heat wave for that scene so it probably was melting off😂
Nobody noticing Zoomer out of bed when Lee just checked on him, Marius or Rohan especially not noticing that being nearby within minutes, how did nobody run into him
The TIMELINEEEE Bill was with Darby until end of August. Zoomer would’ve been conceived in July. I guess he could’ve been premature but idk
Nobody noticing a whole morphine pen missing?? TWO OF THEM?? How was the dose lethal? The pen and book weren’t there when Darby’s at the window and then when Darby is in the room they are and Bill’s stuff is all knocked over.
Zoomer not having a shadow in the footage? Him not showing up on the LiDAR scan? Andy SPECIFICALLY asked to see people who left their rooms? Even if Ray deleted stuff to cover, he straight up tells Andy he made a game for Zoomer. Ray doesn’t have the ability to feel like he did anything wrong, so he’d have no reason to hide that when Andy asks to see who left their rooms.
BILL NEVER WORE HIS RING. Ever. Even if Ray faked his heart rate data (which apparently should have SLOWED not spiked from the morphine idk drug things) someone must have noticed he didn’t wear the ring, like the doctors/EMT’s or coroner? Even in the LiDAR scan he isn’t wearing it. Like HELLO.
The never ending 3am when Darby gets the text from Ray? The two weeks out pick up turns into a few days?
How did David know to/why did he attack Darby? She literally just got back from Zoomer’s room and Lee was probably fighting with Andy at this point and he tracks her every move so it’s not like she can just text David, so why did he really do it? And how did he even get in her room?
If Rohan and David were meant to meet at Bill’s room at midnight, why did Rohan wear that mask? David had more reason to not be identified/caught by Andy and dude didn’t even wear shoes lol
Even if this is all a story within a book, a lot of these things don’t really make sense. I’m hoping we can find answers to some of it😅

Throwaway.
I experienced a moment of true gnosis today. I encountered a goddess, and experienced a communion with it/hethem/us/me. It showed me nothing, and ignored my questions. (I wonder now if it found language vulgar in some way.) I only felt it brush past me for a moment, and leave something permanent behind.
I had unknowingly been being prepared for that moment all my life. A million times in a million ways, it had bisected my consciousness just long enough to leave a mark, or trace or beacon or scar on my soul.
Some of these inoculations seem obvious, in hindsight. I can intuit them consciously. Some I can recall and relate. Others, I believe, though cannot verify for obvious reasons, were subconscious signs, delivered in small doses over time, to lay a foundation of recognition within me.
This marks a new level of awareness for me, which, before achieving, would have surely been a proud moment, though now I find instead only a profound sense of my own insignificance a new drive to learn and understand more about myself and the world. In retrospect, I had been building to it for a long time.
There are mundane aspects to the experience that I can relate, though I hardly feel that they are at all relevant. They may still be interesting, and in re-visiting them I may also come to understand my experience all the better. Additionally, these are unfortunately the aspects of the experience that are most easy for me to put into words. So in a way, they are all I really have to share. At least, for now, I think.
Also, please be aware that I am not writing this in a straight line. Each paragraph has been built, out of order, as random parts of my now completely addled brain light up. If I repeat myself, or construct unruly sentences that fight against comprehension, I apologise.
Recently I have experienced a higher-than-average amount of instances of connection with individuals who either strongly express or strongly distort various ideas and concepts that represent femininity, from my perspective. The longer I think about these experiences, the more of them come to mind. The list is far too long to relate here, but suffice to say it had left me very consciously aware of the concept of femininity and how I personally relate to it.
I want to write some names (not real names of course but I know who they all are), descriptions and experiences as a list, purely to serve as a mnemonic for me to refer to later. These experiences may not seem at all significant but please trust that they are all structured as points and vectors of this great device:
Arguing with my mother. Expressing anger, especially shouting and showing aggression, is extremely rare for me. In this instance I recognise I only allowed myself to become so upset because I genuinely felt intuitively safe enough to do so, and not worry that our relationship would suffer permanent harm on account of an unfortunately heated moment. In many ways I feel that this exemplifies what a mother should be, or aspire to be. So far I have refused to discuss my relationship with her in therapy, as I have too many other things happening to me right now to want to go untangling that incredibly complex web. The argument was over quickly, and we ignored each other for a couple of days then we quietly forgave each other and moved on. I later apologised. To clarify, I am extremely close with my mother and we have a very good relationship, for the most part. The argument was about the next, very relevant experience -
My sister. She is transgender, and the experience of coming out and attempting to live openly as a woman has been extremely difficult for her. Our parents are both processing it in their own ways, and we all struggle as well to accept and reorient ourselves to who she now, undeniably, is. It has been difficult for us all, but my own current life issues have coincidentally led to us becoming a lot closer recently, and spending more time together in the last couple of months than we have in the whole of the rest of the year so far. And I've really enjoyed getting to know her all over again. She has also helped me by putting me in touch with some local dealers, as I have recently begun to use drugs recreationally again after about 15 years clean. Again, this leads neatly into the next actor treading my boards -
Adam. A transgender male who developed a romantic interest in me. When I first met him I did not realise that he was trans at all, until he showed me the scars on his chest. I dated him briefly, though eventually had to explain to him that I was not going to be able to offer him anything emotionally due to my impending depressive episode, and attempted to let him down gently. We went to a very sad trans rights protest together, and actually went on a couple more dates. He was the only person other than my sister who I knew who had regular access to drugs and I was feeling self-destructive, so I got high with him. I was horribly unwell, and whited out hard. A couple of days later I bought a half-ounce of weed. I met Adam through the next person I need unfortunately, to bring up -
Andi. No further questions.
Dorothea. You are now and will always be my High Priestess. You caught me right when my spiritual core was beginning to awaken anew, and dragged me immediately into the harsh light. What we practised together was intense and overwhelming. Utterly overwhelming. Our connection, at its brightest, is the closest dreaming experience I can recall to the moment of true Gnosis I felt today. You made magic habitual for me, rather than a frustration. You showed me the real power of sex and blood, of desperation and pain. You're a fucking monster with a terrifying void where a heart should be and I hope never to cross paths with you again, which is ironic since you will never, ever leave me. You live permanently in my skin now and forever, where you belong. We met around one year ago, which feels significant as well. The ever-turning wheel of the year, the unstoppable passage of time, was a particular obsession of yours so it feels right to mark it.
Artemis and Daisy... Two exes, both very different people in almost every way, who also both hurt me deeply in many different ways which I contend I did not deserve. Of course, everyone says that. Regardless. Earlier this year communication was reopened with both of them, and I've been able to cultivate healthy friendships with both of them as well. We've had opportunities to discuss our own experiences of our relationships, or at least expressed a desire and willingness to do so, and perform the desired post-mortem, and take such lessons as we need away, while still recognising enough positive qualities in each other to want to maintain a lasting connection. It feels very comfortable, mature, and was not something I had ever felt capable of doing in the past. Men and women are extremely different in a lot of fundamental ways. Sometimes I worry that in the (entirely justifiable) race for equality, some of these distinctions may be lost, which would be a shame. Differences make us more interesting. Regardless, evolution happens whether you like it or not, and any attempt to fight against would be as futile as it would be admittedly rather compelling.
The various men, women, and other strangers who have caught my eye recently, and shared a lingering moment of eye contact. Each of them expressed femininity in a different way, whether by enhancing or concealing particular facets of it, to varying degrees. At first I assumed these were moments of shared attraction, but when I experienced the same sensation while talking to my therapist I had to reassess that assumption. When she asked what I was experiencing in that moment I told her only that I had suddenly become acutely aware of her femininity. I didn't know what this really meant at the time, and immediately made it weird by trying to explain that I wasn't being weird. Fortunately she challenged me on this quickly and we moved on. We didn't explore it much more than that, but I had already processed the initial attraction I had felt for her as a result of early transference so it didn't really need be revisited. I am confident that my interactions with her do not in any way assume or desire a romantic connection, so that must mean that what I was feeling, or experiencing, was not truly attraction with any of these other individuals, but moments of recognition and consolidation of feminine traits within myself.
All this to say, it, the Goddess, should It be capitalised, like Goddess is? Seems right. It was forming itself within my psyche, my soul, out of shards of Maya it plucked from my bubble of awareness. It gestated itself within me, for me, by me. Here words begin to fail, as the words that might create a recognisable nimbus around this experience are unable to exist in a normal way. Even the word “experience” falls very very short, and each time a sentence resolves to it I find myself missing the beat and having to start over.
It is incredibly difficult for me to avoid using pop culture references as metaphors to attempt to describe what happened. Media and art in all its forms is a big part of my life and how I make sense of the world, as it is for many people. This is arguably the true purpose of all art, far beyond entertainment or profit. Be it music or film, a video game or a book, everything we each create that is not a practical tool is an attempt to show another person what the world looks like to us. It is an attempt to form a connection between the artist and the observer, to form a shared language, beyond words, to communicate things that words can't describe adequately. This may seem a simplistic explanation, but it is still very relevant. What happened to me was a connection of the same sort. Ideas were communicated, without any words needed to give shape to them. They arrived in me fully formed, entirely understood. Perhaps they grew in me with It, and what I experienced was truly a birth. That would also explain the feminine-focused messages all over the damn place. Have I really created this goddess from myself? My own Athena? So does that make me Zeus? The best-sounding explanation is to say that there is of course no difference between It and me, and you and me and you and It, and everything else that exists, and all of us, and all is truly one and unified in the divine.
That doesn't feel right. There is one thing that remains a little unnerving about all of this. I haven't described what happened in the moment itself, I may yet or I might not. It seems very silly and easy to shrug off what happened to me when you look critically, so I would rather not. I prefer to accept and examine this experience for what it seemed to be, entirely without question. In short, I am choosing to have faith. But as the glowing high of the moment becomes more and more of a fading memory, one black shade stands out, flickering neon curse shadow-person that will not stop dogging me. I became increasingly aware as the spell wore off that at some point, the Goddess had almost certainly lied to me.
Even trying to write that last sentence had an uncomfortable effect on me. Something in my head really didn't like seeing that written down. Each time I read through and come to that line again, which I have now done dozens of time, I twitch or cough or feel sick or my head hurts for a moment, then fades.
One more small detail of synchronicity – Lately I have been becoming fixated on Eyes as a symbol. I've begun to adopt it as a magical tool, wear jewellery and clothing decorated with it as a motif, and enjoy its use as a thematic element in media. My favourite fiction podcast features a literal divine eye extra-dimensional entity thing as a central antagonist. I even have a tattoo of an eye on one of my fingers, and plan more following the theme. This experience happened to me while I was meditating, using the image of an eye on a wall hanging by my bed as a fixed point to focus on.
Feel free to completely ignore this. I just had to put it somewhere.

1 - Why was Bill late for dinner?
2 - How lee got dully ready in 2 minutes?
3 - Why Andy has a cabinet full with morphine?
4 - What was Andy sickness? Which kind of treatment was he doing? He mentioned transferring his conscience to Zoomer, is that it?
5 - Why Ray killed Rohan if he didn't know about Lee's plan?
6 - Why did Ray killed Sian (I know in the finale they say he was blocking Lu Mei, but what about the cars mulfuctionings?)
7 - Why didn't Lee escaped on day 2?
8 - Why Andy let Zoomer walk around by himself when there is a killer on the loose?
9 - Why Darby's dad is cold in the past and warm in the present?
10 - How did Bill get so successful in 6 years?
11 - How did Lee meet Andy?
12 - Why did Bill go to find Lee after SDK?
13 - Why are Oliver, Martin and Ziba in the seriers at all?
14 - Why did Andy invite Ziba?
15 - Why Darby's mom ran away?
16 - Why Ray's tavern?
17 - Why Martin is having a sleeping problem during the flight?
18 - Did Bill ever used substances at all?
19 - Why are the guests so unbothered about the killings?
20 - Why didn't Bill call for help?
21 - How would Lee destroy Andy so he couldn't find her?
22 - Why did Oliver cover up for David?
23 - Why Sian died? How did she know she was dying?
24 - If Ray was deepfaking Rohan how he did not know/protect himself from deepfakes?
25 - Why silver rings and jewelry being important? Why trace parallels between the past and present for no reason?
26 - Why Lu mei wears gold?
27 - Why didn't Ray kill Darby?
28 - How did Oliver get a phone to threat Darby? We see hum returning his equipment before.
29 - The whole point of the retreat was to get Lu Mei's funding? Is there something elese?
30 - Why collect DNA?
31 - How did Bill get to the retreat?
32 - Why did Andy invite Bill if he see him as a threat?
33 - Why Lee has the neck tattoo sometimes and sometimes she doesn't? What does the tattoo say?
34 - Why are things so weird in the retreat, but pretty normal on the flashbacks?
35 - Why was Bill interested in the SDK?
36 - Why does Andy use stupid passwords?
37 - Why is there morse code outside of Bill's room?
38 - How did Andy fund out Lee was going to a cabin in the woods in Canada?
39 - Why did Darby stop wearing the necklace she wears in the past since she was a child?
40 - What is the point of Todd and his loyalty?
41 - Why are Todd and Eva so bad at their jobs?

I want to talk about the Young Jesus song from the end of episode five, and how it might explain Lee's violent reaction to the news she receives.
In case you're not familiar, Young Jesus is the band of Brit's partner, John. The song features at the conclusion of episode 5, and Brit recently shared about it in her stories. She's a little like the Silver Doe Killer, leaving breadcrumbs for us to follow.
So the song includes imagery of snakes, weasels, and nightshade. At first glance, I interpreted it as about humans having noble intentions to defeat evil, but unintentionally sowing the seeds for something equally toxic (symbolized by nightshade.) It's like being stuck in an Oroboros loop—trying to do the right thing but creating more problems. Nightshade is a mostly-harmless family of plants that includes peppers, tomatoes, eggplant...but has some toxic varieties like Belladonna (deadly nightshade that can produce hallucinations and a metallic taste in the mouth.)
Deadly Nightshade Belladonna
Anyway I kept following the white rabbit down the hole and stumbled upon the myth of Athena and Erichthonius. Athena, goddess of war and wisdom, goes to Hephaestus, the god of armor, for new weapons. He attempts to assault her, but Athena the virgin, resists. His seed falls to the ground and is taken in by Gaia, the earth goddess, resulting in the birth of Erichthonius—a half-man, half-snake hybrid.
Athena raises Erichthonius as her own son but entrusts his care to three sisters, instructing them to keep him in a box they should NEVER open. Curiosity getting the best of them, they open it, discovering the half-man/half-snake. In some versions, they lose their minds and commit suicide. In others, Athena punishes them by turning them into weasels—the natural predators of snakes.
Notably, Bill has a Caduceus tattoo—two snakes wrapping around each other, which along with his raven tattoo designate him as a messenger. The intertwined snakes resemble a double helix of DNA, which connects to the theory that Zoomer might be an AI or a human-bot hybrid.
​
https://preview.redd.it/tudkxv6tca5c1.jpg?width=810&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9f01d2c7c694c247a6df219be1ad2019f8d9a89a
Lee's strong reaction to learning that Andy is sterile might be because SHE JUST REALIZED ZOOMER HAS NO DADDY. Perhaps she was telling the truth in her TMI story about her hookup with Bill, but if Andy is sterile...where in the f* did Zoomer come from?
Did Andy somehow impregnated Lee with an AI-human hybrid? Would explain Zoomer's brown eyes (a less than 1% statistical probability with two blue-eyed parents.) And Andy must be using the hamster anecdote as a message.
So, to those who have been theorizing that Zoomer is a bot, I see you! What do you want to bet when we learn Zoomer's real name it's "Eric"?
Is Andy building a bunkeark for this handful of original thinkers so he can later repopulate the planet with human/ai hybrids?
Is all of this a hallucinogenic simulation to test out the idea of robot husbandry? Is all that tea they're drinking full of deadly nightshade?

The assaulter tells Darby, "There is no end to this labyrinth. If you reach the center, you will not get Bill back."
Labyrinths consist of one long, guided path in a circular shape that "ends" at the center. Regular mazes have multiple openings that serve as entrances/exists and no center.
The solution to the mystery is the center of the labyrinth, but it's not the end. The only way back out of the labyrinth from the center is back through the same way you came.
The show returns to the theme of circularity/non-linear time often:

• Darby begins her reading (and the show) at the end of the story about the Silver Doe killer. The end is the beginning, and the beginning is the end.
• Bill has an ourobourus tattoo. The snake eating its tail.
• The show title: A Murder at the End of the World. Rohan tells Darby that the end of the world will also be a kind of beginning for the Earth even if it means the end of humans.
• Each episode flashes back and forth between the past and present timelines, often through very explicit parallels/contrasts (like Darby hugging Zoomer turning into her hugging Bill, or her refusal to speak Bill's name into the wind turning into her saying Bill's name in the motel room.)

Here's my theory. It's less of an exact narrative match to the Greek myth of the Labyrinth and more of an exploration of some different parallels/possibilities. There are places where the parallels are more thematic than narrative. It's all for fun!
King Minos = Andy
Queen Pasiphae = Lee
Zeus's bull = Bill (Bill...bull? lol)
The Minotaur = Zoomer
The Labyrinth = the hotel
Theseus = Darby
Daedalus = Oliver?
Aegeus = Darby's father?
Princess Ariadne = maybe/also Bill?
Androgeus = the Silver Doe killer?
The Sparknotes version of the myth of Theseus and the Minotaur (condensed from this site https://www.greekmyths-greekmythology.com/myth-of-theseus-and-minotau) goes like this:
King Minos's wife, Queen Pasiphae, sleeps with a bull sent by Zeus and gives birth to the Minotaur. King Minos hides the Minotaur in the Labyrinth, constructed by the inventosculptor Daedalus. Minos imprisoned his enemies in the Labyrinth so that the Minotaur could eat them. No one could ever find their way out alive.

• Andy's wife, Lee, sleeps with Bill and gives birth to Zoomer. Andy hides Zoomer inside the hotel/apocalypse compound, constructed by Oliver (via his robots).

After Minos's biological son Androgeus is killed in the Panathenaic Games by Zeus's bull, he demands Aegeus, the king of Athens, send seven men and women to the Labyrinth ever year, supposedly to prevent a disaster (plague).

• In the past timeline, Darby and Bill discovering the Silver Doe killer causes the killer to die. We still don't know how exactly this happens. (I personally think he killed himself.)
  • Does Andy (King Minos) have some sort of (familial) connection to the Silver Doe killer?
• Andy brings the retreat guests into the hotel, supposedly to prevent a disaster (climate apocalypse).
• Aside from Bill and Darby, there are seven retreat guests: Sian, Lu Mei, David, Martin, Oliver, Ziba, and Rohan. (I know in the myth it's seven men and seven women so fourteen people in total, but still.)

The third year of this tradition, Theseus, son of Aegeus, enters the Labyrinth determined to kill the Minotaur and end the tradition. Minos thinks that even if Theseus could kill the Minotaur, he will never be able to find his way back out.

• Darby enters the hotel/retreat. If Darby solves the mystery and gets to the center of the proverbial labyrinth, as the assaulter warns her against doing, she would presumably end the tradition of the retreats. We know Andy has done several retreats before, but we don't know how many. Is this the third retreat?

Princess Ariadne, who is in love with Theseus, gives him a thread and tells him to unravel it as he travels the Labyrinth, thus creating a path so he can find his way back out. Theseus enters the Labyrinth, kills the Minotaur, and uses Ariadne's thread to retrace his way out of the maze. He takes Ariadne back home with him.

• Bill, who is in love with Darby (or at least was, although I'm partial to the idea they're still in love with each other), gives her a thread of clues about his "death" to unravel as she explores the hotel, trying to get to the center of the labyrinth/solve the mystery.
  • Here's my post proposing that Bill is not really dead: https://www.reddit.com/AMurderAtTheEnd_Show/comments/18b6bt7/comment/kc2hiec/?context=3 The idea for this Labyrinth theory started there.

Theseus had promised his father Aegeus to put up white sails on his ship on his way back home if he was alive, but he forgot the promise and left up the black sails. Aegeus saw the black sails from a distance and killed himself by throwing himself into the sea.

• We still don't know who was on the other side of Rohan's morse code communication. Some people have proposed that it's Darby's dad, since we don't have any other listed characters left. Darby's dad is the person who taught her morse code. There's a thematic parallel to the image of the ship's flags as a way for Theseus to communicate across a great distance.
• Aegeus became so distraught at mistakenly thinking that Theseus died that he killed himself by throwing himself into what we now call the Aegean sea. Darby becomes increasingly distraught over Bill's and the others' deaths to the point where she seemingly becomes suicidal, sinking into the water of the pool and staying under for a very long time. Was she actually trying to kill herself? I don't know, but I would definitely argue that she was expressing some suicidal thoughts to Ray in their "therapy session."

And that's all for now! I'm going to bed :')

⚓The toy Zoomer carries, is it one of those with the string through the mismatched pieces, and when you pull the string, they come together as a whole? Or some other mathematical based toy? I think it might be in the shape of a deer, (horse?) and the lamp in darby's room is a stag.
⚓Marius - need to know more about him. English...Paid to shut his mouth, but talks to Darby. Gives her their room numbers, and allergies. The amount of cups to Bill's room. Maybe because that's exactly what he's supposed to do.
⚓Lee says she invited Rohan.
⚓Heartfront, not hardfront. As Darby sits in the room, it appears she is the heart of it. Heart attack, heart failure, Darby Hart. Then the symbolism of fangs, and attacking deer. Heart vs. Pacemaker, half my brain, technology/physiology, RAY/Darby.
⚓ I'm suspicious of Eva, to not mention the machinery interference, given the conversation, until asked directly is quite strange. She also was sympathetic to Darby, but maybe guilty.
⚓Knock, Knock, Knock. Door beeps. The sound is different from those above.
⚓Avalanche on the roads. Did Ronson use his "animatronics" to do this? He certainly could use them to clear it.
⚓Millennial/Gen Z Children of the fucking internet
⚓the billionaire's largesse is a venus fly trap? Venus fly trap traps, and slowly digests its prey.
⚓Why is Zoomer privy to so much of the conversation about murder? Seems a little much for such a small child, intelligent, or not.
⚓ Are you vi or Emacs? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Editor_war She refers to holy war. Lots of biblical new world imagery. Lends to the theory Ronson's motives aren't exactly harmless.
⚓Sian knows how to avoid the cameras, and security, as she was there during the construction. So the killer likely has this in common with her, in one way, or another.
⚓Weird how Darby didn't know where she'd be going, but her sweater matches the ambiance.
⚓Uploads patterns to the cloud, pacemaker downloads fatal shocks to the heart. Might be symbolic of what Darby will face.
⚓Signaling device, blizzard, dark side of the moon, who's on the other end of the device? Climate suits, probably part of Ronson's plan. They compare them to space suits. He's probably preparing for a base there, and maybe eventually on the moon. To live in hostile environments. Maybe the trip to the moon was the ultimate test. To avoid climate change, and whatever he might have planned. Sian seems to be more aware than she should be. These suits protect from radiation, and when Darby mentions nuclear codes to Bill, he say she scares him. That's probably because she was closer to the truth than he was comfortable with.
⚓The doors open outside, but I guess Andy is relatively confident you wouldn't get too far. Or, this is what he wants, someone to get out. Like hamsters in a maze. The suits being provided, and all. I'm sure his ants can be infiltrated too, and possibly Ray's code?
⚓The news in the background says this blizzard is widespread in other countries. Does Andy have his role in this? Through the underground springs, and his giant hole?
⚓conference of birds, conference of hackers
⚓Artificial Insanity take down of smart cities. Lu mei. Her interest in Bill makes sense now.
⚓Andy sees his work as peerless. David vs. Lee takes Andy's focus from David. Zoomer is Andy's life, and what might have to do with technology, I keep wondering. This is why Andy ran to intercept Darby talking to Zoomer, too closely? What might Zoomer say?
⚓Sian says women are "picking up their bones"? Reminds me of some references from the oa, and quotes by brit. https://porlosojosdedurga.com/?p=1067#:~:text=She%20is%20called%20by%20many,being%20lost%20to%20the%20world.
Sian says the other half have it bad too. who's the other half? Killers? Is she a killer? Is she calling men killers, and is she identifying the sex of Bill's killer? Builders vs. Non Builders? Are builders killers, to her?
⚓When Darby and Sian are in the vehicle, finally, Darby realizes Sian knows a little more about code than she's letting on. Which means she can also be the killer. It also suggests she knows a lot more about Andy's tech too. and about Darby.
⚓She stresses one thing, technology will not save all of them, and Andy's company is going broke. So he's draining the funds for an underground bunker of some sort time capsule? Noah's Ark?
⚓Achoo syndrome. I suspected in my other post that this would reveal genetic connections. Bill is related to Zoomer, or to Lee, then Zoomer. Twins, triplets, his son? like my other set of notes? Something more insidious? Did bill pass some test in the previous retreats, and has this retreat spun out of control? Is this the reason for the magnitude in reaction to Bill's death, compared to Rohan's. One was expected, and part of it? Did one down refer to Bill as a partner, like Sian said, or was it about Bill at all?
⚓I doubt that car is stolen, even from an uncle. Is the Kraken tattoo crypto, or something? Little cherub tattoo with a mask, and a gun.
⚓Big Horn lodge. With deer, we see this symbol again.
⚓She's right though, usually their first victims are closer to home. The jewelry will lead them back like stepping stones.
⚓Music "We've got a war to fight"
⚓shell necklace. carries the sea around with her? Then we Sian drag her to safety.
⚓Ah, suspicious lady is a doctor, Eva. Someone sealed Sian's helmet, and made them crash, as well? This person can do what Sian does. Oliver possibly. David is definitely a creep. It's certainly possible that Sian set that up, to appear innocent, as well.
⚓"Zoomer, get off!" Yup, he sneezes again.

Link to part 1- https://www.reddit.com/UnresolvedMysteries/comments/183xg3c/4200_indigenous_people_are_missing_in_the_united/
This is part 2 of a write up featuring the stories of missing and murdered Native Americans. The following cases are mostly cases of women and men missing and murdered on or near the Yakama Reservation. Here is an article on the following missing people https://indigenouspeoples-sdg.org/index.php/english/ttt/862-murdered-missing-and-mysterious-deaths-of-native-girls-and-women-on-or-near-the-yakama-reservation
Tiana Cloud went missing from Yakima on April 7th, 2018. She was 17 years old at the time. She was later found only to be murdered in Wapato, Wa in 2021. She was shot to death around 11 p.m. March 30, 2021 in a home in the 3100 block of South Wapato Road, roughly 2.5 miles south of Wapato and 4 miles west of Toppenish. Yakima County sheriff’s deputies were initially called and found injured people at the scene. Anyone with information on the case is asked to call the FBI at 509-453-4859 or online at tips.fbi.gov. Her homicide is stil unsolved.
Freda Knowsgun or Knowshisgun has been missing since October 18th, 2016. Freda was from Montana and was registered with the Crow Agency. In the months before her disappearance her family reported that she was acting strangely and began drifting around the Northwest and spending time in southern Washington state. Freda was still close to her aunt and talked to her children sometimes, but was distancing herself from the rest of her family. Freda was last known to be at a customer service desk at a Walmart in Kennewick, Washington. Freda used her cell phone to call a friend to ask for money. She wanted to travel back home to Montana to spend Halloween with her children. Freda’s friend sent her the money but the money was never picked up because the store closed. When she called Freda 15 minutes later, Freda’s cell phone was disconnected and no one has heard from her since. She did not return to Montana for Halloween or for her aunt’s funeral in November and she was reported missing. Freda’s family believes that she was abusing drugs at the time of her disappearance and they believe that Freda’s new friends in the drug scene may be involved with her disappearance. Law enforcement has reported that Freda’s new friends have not cooperated with the investigation into her disappearance. Freda may have been seen in Billings, Montana in December 2016 and she may be traveling with a black male named Mike. Freda is reported to be a 34-year-old Native American female with dark brown hair that is waist length which she wears in a ponytail or high bun. She has brown eyes, a scar on her right elbow, weights 160 lbs. and stands 5’5” in height. She has the following tattoos: the names "Lyrical", "Trinity" and "Mason" on her back between her shoulder blades, the cartoon character Mickey Mouse with a basketball on her right calf, and a flower on her right shoulder. She may use the last name "KnowsHisGun" and many accounts refer to her by that name. Her case is being investigated by Crow Agency Bureau of Indian Affairs.
Rosalita Faye Longee disappeared from her grandmother’s home in Wapato, Washington on June 30th, 2015 at 10 pm. Rosalita, who went by Rose, was 18 years old at the time. She is an enrolled member of the Fort Peck Assiniboine and Sioux Tribes in Montana but had lived with her grandmother on the Yakama reservation since age 2. Rose visited her grandmother on the night of June 30th asking to stay with her but her grandmother refused as Rose was high on drugs at the time, and she had a rule that Rose could only live there when she wasn’t using. Rose may have been with friends at the time. Rose had struggled with addiction for years and had been in and out of rehab centers since age 16. Rose's boy friend was killed within a few days of Rose's disappearance and some think this two situations are related. Rosalita is described as a Native American female, 5’6”- 5’8” in height and about 130-140 lbs. She has black hair, brown eyes, pierced ears and lip, and scars on both wrists and both her chest. At the time of her disappearance she enjoyed taking photos and posting them on her Facebook page. Yakama Nation tribal police are investigating.
Roberta Jean Ranes (sometimes spelled Raines), was last seen in Toppenish on July 10th, 2001. Some sources say she was 37 at the time while others say she was 19. Roberta was with a man named Jose Merced Zamora at that time. In 2002, this man killed a teenage boy and fled the county going to Mexico. Roberta was apparently with him at the time. It was around this time that Roberta’s family realized they had not seen her in a while and they reported her missing. Jose was arrested in 2007 in Idaho and taken it custody for the murder of the boy. Jose Merced Zamora told the authorities that the last time he saw Roberta she was in Mexico and that they parted ways. Authorities do not believe this story. Roberta is described as Native American female, 5’2”-5’3” in height and 120 lbs. She has very arched eyebrows. Toppenish Police are investigating.
Karen Louise Johnley, sometimes referred to as Karen Johnley-Wallahee, was reported missing November 7th or 8th, 1987 by her cousin. She was last seen by a friend at the Lazy R Tavern in Harrah on the Yakama reservation. Karen’s cousin describes Karen as a 29-year-old female, five feet tall and 100 lbs. She was last seen wearing pink barrettes in her hair, a pink tee shirt, a Levi’s brand denim jacket, and white tennis shoes. She had long black hair and brown eyes. Her cousin expressed worries about the person Karen was last seen with. Tribal police are investigating. She remains a missing person.
Daisy Mae Tallman or Daisy Mae Heath, age 29, was reported missing on October 29th, 1987. When her family was questioned it came to light that no one had seen Daisy since the end of August, 1987. Daisy’s sister remembers her as very independent, often leaving the reservation to visit friends and family on a different reservation in Warm Springs, Oregon, or leaving the area to go fishing. Daisy was a high school basketball player and was the youngest of 6 sisters who were all raised by their maternal grandparents. At the time of her disappearance, Daisy was staying with relatives in either Toppenish or White Swan. A year after she disappeared a set of keys and a backpack believed to be Tallman’s/Heath’s were found in a closed area of a reservation called Soda Springs. 7 years after her disappearance she was declared legally dead. In 2008 a skeleton was found nearby and was identified as Tallman-Heath in early 2023. At the time of her disappearance, she was in the process of legally changing her last name from Tallman, her mother’s married name, to Heath, her father’s surname. As such, many reports refer to her as “Daisy Heath”. She has given birth in the past but sadly her child did not survive. https://www.yakimaherald.com/news/local/lower_valley/remains-found-in-2008-identified-as-daisy-mae-heath-a-yakama-woman-missing-since-1987/article_6b74ac60-8887-11ed-ad61-f7a33d37daee.html
Janice Marie Hannigan, a sophomore at White Swan high school was the oldest of 7 children. In 1971 Janice’s parents had recently separated and Janice was living with her father in Harrah, Washington but visited her mother and younger siblings often. Janice was nominated to be Queen of the Veteran’s day parade in November 1971 and the newspaper even ran an article about her and the other nominated girls. According to her interview in the paper, Janice enjoyed beadwork, cooking, and watching football. A few weeks later on December 21st Janice was admitted to the hospital for the treatment of contusions on her head and torso. On December 24th she was released from the hospital in stable condition. The cause of Janice’s injuries, as well as the location she was treated at is unknown. Janice never made it home from the hospital; this was the last time anyone ever saw Janice alive.
Strangely, this was not the first time Janice had been reported missing. Janice may have been reported missing in February or March of 1971, although she was determined to be visiting relatives in Idaho with her father at that time. Because of this some agencies report that Janice went missing March 1st 1971 but that is not accurate.
Some agencies report that Janice is a possible runaway as she was upset about her parent’s separation, although Janice had never run away before. One Law Enforcement office reports that Janice’s father is a person of interest in her case, but Janice’s sister Traci Clark denies this notion and says it is “not possible.” Traci was only 8 years old the last time she saw Janice, but she still looks for her big sister any chance she gets.
Angela Marie Heath of Toppenish, aged 41 died on April 5th, 2019. Her death is an unsolved hit and run. Very little information is available. The vehicle is described as a full-size GMC Sierra truck or Yukon manufactured between 1996 and 2006, according to WSP. Washington state patrol is investigating.
Linda Dave, 39 of White Swan, was last seen alive in late 2016 or early 2017. On February 15th 2017, a woman was found dead under a bridge in Toppenish. It was determined that the woman died from a gunshot wound to the stomach and had been dead approximately six weeks. The woman was identified via DNA as Linda Dave. Linda was a mother and grandmother who enjoyed spending time with family, cooking, and dancing. She is the niece of Janice Hannigan, another woman detailed in this piece. The FBI is investigating Dave’s case.
Minnie Andy was a 31-year-old Yakama woman who enjoyed fishing and swimming. Minnie was found beaten and close to death near 70 Egan Road in Wapato, Washington on July 9th, 2017. She had been badly assaulted earlier that morning and she tragically succumbed to her injuries at Astria Regional Medical Center in Yakima several hours later. Her cause of death was blunt force trauma. Christopher Lagmay was indicted for her murder shortly thereafter but he would be released from jail in 2019 without prejudice, meaning if new evidence arises, he could be re-tried. Her murder is still unsolved.
Destiny Lloyd, aged 23 disappeared on Christmas day 2017 from her home in Wapato. Her body was found in Harrah, Washington four days later. Initially, it looked like Destiny had died after slipping and falling on the concrete, causing a head wound but a full autopsy would reveal that her death was a homicide and that she died from blunt force trauma. Destiny worked at Legends Casino as a childcare worker. Her co-workers remember her fondly and hope her case will be solved. The FBI is investigating and in June 2023 two people were arrested for her murder.
Naoma George, mother of six or eight from Wapato, Washington was found dead in 2013 from trauma to her abdomen. Her death was ruled a homicide and she had been beaten to death. Naoma was a traditional Yakama who did beadwork and gathered traditional plants to keep the Yakama culture alive. Naoma was laid to rest in a traditional ceremony at the Longhouse surrounded by friends and family. Her case is unsolved and little information is available. Yakama Nation tribal police and the FBI are investigating.
Barbara Celestine aged 44 was a tribal member who lived in Wapato, Washington. She was found dead of blunt force trauma outside a housing project in town in 2005. Her death was ruled a homicide. The Yakama Nation police and the FBI are investigating the murder. Very little information is available.
The triple homicide of Charmaine Sanchey, 47, Toni Marie Green, 43, and Steve Alvarado, 52 is still unsolved. Their beaten and stabbed bodies were found in a small trailer outside Toppenish on Jan. 16, 2003 by their landlord who came over to collect their rent check. He found the women dead in the bedroom and Steve dead in the main living area. The trailer was on the reservation but it is unclear which victims (if any) were tribal members. Authorities say that they have few leads and few suspects. Later, Charmaine Sanchey’s brother, Arthur Joseph Sanchey, was the primary suspect, but was acquitted of charges in July 2004. The brutal triple homicide is still a mystery.
Sandra Lee Smiscon did not die on the reservation but I believe her case deserves a spot in this piece. In the year 2003, Sandra was a 45-year-old mother of 3 children who split her time between Wapato and Seattle. After high school, Sandra got a job in a nursing home and mothered three children. After her personal relationships fell apart Sandra became lost and her children were placed in the custody of their fathers and other family members. She often traveled to Seattle and did odd jobs but was basically drifting around. According to her brother Walter, Sandra was a “party animal” who loved having a good time but sometimes let the drinking and drugs get the better of her. Despite her flaws he remembers his sister as a somewhat shy individual with a huge, bright smile who taught her younger daughter the art of traditional dance. Sandra traveled home regularly for family events and holidays but never stayed for long.
One day Sandra and her companions were sleeping near 4th and Yesler streets in Seattle when a man, angered by nearby fireworks shot into the homeless camp aimlessly, injuring a few people and killing Sandra. Her 2003 murder is still unsolved. Sandra’s name is part of the Fallen Leaves memorial, a place of remembrance for deceased homeless individuals as a way to give them dignity and a place to be remembered. Her case is still unsolved. The suspect is described as a young man in his 20-30s with a dark complexion but of unknown race. The Seattle police department is investigating.
Shari Dee Sampson Elwell age 30, had not been seen for weeks when her battered and sexually mutilated body was found in a remote area by hunters near White Swan. Her body was found during February 1992 in the middle of a blizzard. She had been beaten, mutilated, and strangled. Little has been done to solve her case and very little information is available. Her father, Donnie, went missing only two years later.
JoAnne Betty (Wyman) John the 44-year-old mother of eleven children, was reported missing on August 1st, 1988. A partial skeleton was discovered in February 1991 which was determined to be John’s. Her cause of death was ruled “homicidal violence.” Little information is available in her case. The FBI are investigating.
Rozelia Lou (Tulee) Sohappy, 31 or 32, of Brownstown was last seen alive on New Year’s Eve of 1988. Her partially clothed body was found March 13, 1989, in a remote ravine along the south slope of Ahtanum Ridge north of Brownstown. She was identified through dental records, and an autopsy concluded she had been strangled. Very little information is available.
Jenece Marie Wilson was 20 years old in August 1987. The young woman who lived in Toppenish, went to a party one night and then left the next morning to hitchhike to her boyfriend’s place in Sunnyside, Washington but she never made it. On August 9th a farmer found the body of a woman in his orchard which was so severely beaten it was hard to establish her identity. Dental records confirmed that the body belonged to Jenece and she had died from a blow to the head. In 2009, twenty-two years later DNA evidence was run through the system and there was a hit. The DNA matched an Oregon convict, Samuel Posada. Samuel had attended the same high school as Jenece but the two did not appear to know each other. He was arrested and charged with murder and rape. Strangely, Posada waived his right to jury trial but was acquitted of all charges by the judge in his 2011 trial. Jenece’s case has been cold ever since.
Babette Crystall Greene was 26 years old and lived in the town of Toppenish but was last seen in Yakima, Washington in October 1986. A member of the Warm Springs tribe in Oregon, her skeletal remains were found during the summer of 1987 off North Track Road near Wapato, Washington. Her cause of death is listed as “homicidal violence.” Very little information is available.
Clydell Alice Sampson age 25 of Klickitat had not been seen alive since sometime in 1984 when her skeleton was found by hunters near Hambre Butte, south of Granger, Washington in December, 1986. Her death was ruled a homicide and she died from a gunshot wound. Very little information is available; there are no pictures available of Clydell.
Mavis Josephine McKay was a member of the Confederated tribes of the Umatilla Indian Reservation in Oregon. She was 33 years old when she was found murdered in an irrigation ditch on August 13th, 1957 in Satus, a very isolated area of the Yakama reservation. Her father was Yakama by birth and she had gone to Washington state to visit her grandparents and some friends. Mavis died of a broken neck and she had bruises on her head, back and legs. She had been dead only a few hours. Her case was reopened in 2022. Because her case is so old, very little information is available.
Angela Babette Billy, 41, of Pendleton, Oregon was an enrolled member of the Yakama Nation. She also is known as Angela Shippentower and Babette Shippentower. According to the one article I could find Angela who went by “Babette” was a victim of domestic violence. Right before she went missing Babette confided to family members that her boyfriend was abusing her. Right after that her boyfriend left her to be with a woman he had been seeing on the side. Babette’s body was found in late May 2013 in the Umatilla River near Mission, Oregon. She had been missing for over a week. She was found by two people on horseback while they were conducting a private search for her. The area was accessible only by foot, horse or four-wheelers, from one side of the river. The area in which she was found was behind the home of her boyfriend’s new romantic interest. This woman, who remains unknown to the public, also had a reputation for drugs and violent behavior. Babette's cause of death was drowning and while her death has not been ruled a homicide it is considered “suspicious” and not simply an accident. According to family members, police did not take her disappearance very seriously at first- a mistake that may have cost Babette her life.
Alice Ida Looney, 38 of Toppenish was reported missing after she was last seen in Wapato in the early morning hours around Aug. 16 or 17, 2004. Some family members gave her a ride to a gas station, and this was the last time she was seen alive. A hunter found her body Nov. 30, 2005, wedged under a tree on a small island in Satus Creek, about 12 miles southeast of Toppenish. The FBI lists the cause of her death as inconclusive- a possible stragulation. High school and college athlete Rosy Fish, a distance relative of Looney’s, ran four races at a state track tournament (and won 3). Each race was dedicated to a missing or murdered female native relative of Fish’s, which shows the breadth of this issue. Fish’s actions have spurred other native athletes to do similar tributes. Looney’s death is still unsolved. Looney’s family also says they were never interviewed by law enforcement. In 2019 Israel Keyes girlfriend reported to a podcast that Keyes was in the Toppenish area around this time period, but nothing conclusive ties him to this death.
Teresa R. Stahi age 25. July 27th 1987 marks the day Teresa Stahi’s body was found drowned in a canal. Her clothed body was pulled from a fish screen in a diversion canal off Toppenish Creek south of Granger. An autopsy concluded she drowned and had been in the water less than 12 hours. The Yakima County Sheriff’s Office said it ruled out foul play. However, an FBI memo listed Stahi’s case as a “mysterious death matter.” Law enforcement now says her death is “inconclusive.” Very little information is available.
Sara Dee Winnier, age 24, had recently moved back to the reservation after living in California. She was found at 3:30 a.m. July 22, 1985, sitting upright in the driver’s seat of a burning car off McDonald Road about half a mile from U.S. Highway 97. Her body was badly burned and the coroner used dental records to identify her. Winnier lived in a remote part of the reservation and worked at the Save More Grocery in Wapato. Her death is suspicious and unsolved. Little information is available.
Celestine Spencer, 21 sometimes called Celestine Yallup, of Wapato had been missing two weeks when her body was found at the bottom of a gully in a field off McCullough Road along the north slope of Ahtanum Ridge. She was found Nov. 11, 1982, at the bottom of a hill near a field. Her death, while somewhat suspicious, was determined to be hypothermia and was deemed a probable accident. Celestine’s aunt was awarded custody of her son, Roland, who had some disabilities and various medical problems. Tragically, less than two years later Roland (age 3) disappeared in a child abduction in Wapato and has not been seen since. Her son’s case is described in part 1.
Lesora Yvette Eli was only 19 years old when a farmer found her fully clothed body along Parton Road near Toppenish on Feb. 2, 1982. She was face down in a drainage ditch. While the County Coroner’s Office listed the death as accidental drowning, FBI investigators claim it is a possible homicide. Her death has never been solved and very little information is available.
Sheila Pearl Lewis, a 33-year-old social worker who worked at DSHS in Yakima was found dead in August of 1980 near Parker Dam in Union Gap. An autopsy showed that she died of massive internal injuries most likely from being hit by a large car or truck. Even though her death is most likely a hit and run, it is classified as suspicious rather than a homicide. Sheila lived on the reservation. Very little information is available in her case.
Darryl Keith Celestine of Zillah, was murdered Sept. 25, 1988, in Wapato. He was found either or shot strangled outside his home. Darryl, a Yakama, was only 22 years old at the time. His murder is unsolved. Very little information is available.
Donnie Sampson, 71, a well-known religious leader, had been serving for eight years on the Tribal Council’s Code of Ethics Committee when he disappeared in the fall of 1994 while hunting elk about 45 miles west of White Swan, near Mt. Adams. Donnie had a heart problem and had been prescribed nitroglycerin as a result. Right before his disappearance, he told his daughter that he (and the ethics committee) “was getting into something that’s going to make everybody mad.” He even went so far to tell her that he would be “making enemies” and that she and the community would hear about his findings soon enough. He had been investigating rumors of corruption in the tribal council and the housing authority before he went missing, but other committee members refused to elaborate on the matter.
Donnie’s truck was found Oct. 30, 1994, in the foothills of Mount Adams by volunteer searchers, but searchers found no trace of Sampson. His nitroglycerin, lunch, clothing and three rifles were found in his truck. A fourth rifle he left home with disappeared with him. Donnie’s children say tribal police has done little to investigate the disappearance, which they believe is a result of foul play. For example, his children were never interviewed and his truck was found by volunteers, not official search and rescue. Tribal authorities believe that the elderly Sampson simply got lost while hunting. There are no photos or description of Donnie Sampson available. He does not even have a Charley Project page. Tribal police are investigating. https://products.kitsapsun.com/archive/1994/12-25/301703_yakima__family_fears_ethics_pro.html
Justin Lee McConville has been missing from Toppenish since sometime in January 2015. He was 24 years old at the time and was last seen on the Yakama reservation, but often travels to Oregon and fishes along the Columbia River. Some sources say he is nomadic and had no permanent address but others say he lives in Toppenish. Justin is described as a Native American male with long brown hair which he wears in a ponytail and brown eyes. McConville has a half-sleeve tattoo of a Native American man, Chief Joseph, on his upper right arm. He also has a tattoo of a tribal fishing design on his left arm and a tattoo of a Native American design on his back. He is 6’0”-6’2'' and weighs 165 lbs. Yakama Tribal Police are investigating. They can be reached at 509-865-2933.
Anthony “Tony” Peters, also known as Anthony Colfax Peters, 56, was last seen in October 2014 at Legends Casino in Toppenish. According to his sister, Peters was homeless at the time, living with relatives or friends or elsewhere when necessary, but he regularly talked to his family and friends. According to his sister, Alfrieda, Tony, like many homeless individuals, had a complicated life. His temper sometimes got him into trouble, but eventually he always came around. His sister remembers him as a natural born artist who did powwow dancing, beadwork, and drawing for fun. He was also a good singer. In the past, he has been known to travel to other nearby reservations such as the Umatilla or Warm Springs. He has also been known to travel to Seattle. He would drop out of sight from time to time, but never for more than a few weeks.
Elias Chief Culps, 25, was last seen in White Swan on Dec. 27, 2018 and has not been heard from since. There is little information available about Elias’ disappearance. Those with information are asked to call the Yakama Nation Police Department at 509-865-2933, case number 19-009167. He is described as a Native American male, 5’6”-5’10” in height and 150-170 lbs. He has brown hair and eyes and a tattoo on his neck.
If you are interested in this issue as a whole, I suggest this podcast by Canadian journalist Connie Walker who explains and dives deeply into the issues discussed in the piece. https://www.cbc.ca/radio/findingcleo/missing-murdered-who-killed-alberta-williams-1.4556030#:~:text=Sparked%20by%20a%20chilling%20tip,in%20British%20Columbia%20in%201989.
What happened to these people?

In Case You Didn't Hear the Look I Gave You, Shut Up.
Britney's nagging about surrogacy is not music to Kerok's ears. The process, like a symphony consisting of multiple distinct sections played by an orchestra, parallels the steps and personnel required to produce a child. Britney can keep explaining the urgency of commitment, but she can't understand it for him. Conversely, the more Kerok considers the sacrifices that have to be made, the less desirable the situation becomes. "Kids are a part of being married," Britney defends. "Kids aren't part of being married. The two individuals married are part of being married," Kerok counters. I don't want, need, or have to plan right now. Processing isn't part of my process. You puttin' a lot on a brother, right"'? Silence is golden; duct tape is silver.
My Little Butterfly
Mikey has a support system that's making it hard for him to choose between his dynamic daughter, Hadley, and his soulmate, Chelsea. His also-newly-released-jailbird friend, Dave, comes to Mikey's gramps' conveniently placed farm in the backyard to visit with perky hugs and fetching topknot. Dave was his ride-or-die in the joint helping him more than the guards did when Mikey had his stroke. Mikey confides about his disquietude anticipating a visit with Chelsea's family. "The teardrop under my eye convinced her dad that I killed someone. And Chelsea has saved $5K. Where'd she get it? She said she's selling stuff online. Hah! She needs to come clean with me."
Meanwhile, Chelsea is off on a suicide mission trying to convince her dad, Steve, that inestimable viewer of "Swamp History," and taxidermy aficionado that best lets him preserve his animal and human trophies of the hunt, to meet Mikey. Steve, presides over his taciturnity with the back-up resentment of any lesser member of a branch family of a dying dynasty. "Mikey wants to meet you." Steve growls, "What makes him so special? "He's got his own money and wants none from me; he just wants to love me and make me happy. He's a good dad; my children like him. Trevor loves him," she gesticulates with tattooed fingers acting as visual punctuation. "We'll see. We'll see how much he helps you. You've never had someone come in and help you. Never!" "I know." "Chelsea, she's had some doozies and then there's the Identity theft; no small thing."
Hadley runs into her dad's arms. "I wish you wouldn't go. I'm sad/mad." Mikey bends down, "It's only for two weeks." Only for two weeks? Only for two years!" "Don't be mad." As effective as advising someone to smile who doesn't want to so you don't have to deal with the emotional backwash. He gently fastens two necklaces around her neck, and as he bends down, Hadley asks, "Are you going there to ask her to marry you"? "No." 👏 "I don't want any of my parents to get married because I wish I could live with them. Yeah, Dad, it's awesome for you at your angle." "Say, how would you like it if, when I come back, you stay with me the whole week? I'll take you to school and pick you up every evening. 🥳
You Can't Hide 'Yer 'Lyin Eyes
Brittney is circling the neighborhood looking for a phone like a police helicopter is searching for a violent suspect who just shattered a barricade and is en route to commit a terrorist act. Mercifully, Andy cuts it short and offers her his phone even though hers lay on the car seat for easy pickings. Andy finally got the message when he saw Brittney spinning like a top outside. "If she's leaving, I'm leaving because I got this place for us, and before you ever have the opportunity to make me look like a 🤪, I'm not going to make a dick out of myself any further." Too laaate! Brittney is "done with Andy. Yes, this is a fucking joke. He's not who he says he was. Of course, you're everything you didn't say you were. The over-chanted mantra continues, "He lies about lying and lies about lying and lying. I got enough!" By now, Andy's hastily shoveled his shit in his suitcase and Brittney is waiting for Granny to rescue her from this self-manufactured mini-drama and is standing with her back to the sidewalk. That's a clue not to approach her so, of course, that's what Andy does. Just one wee little clarification, lassie. "In no way shape, form or fashion did I see this coming. I don't know where we stand. Oh, honey, you're not pretty enough to be that stupid. "Why I came to check on you was to make sure you're okay because you have too much energy and are too insistent on leaving so you can go use. The selfless part of me says if your happiness depends on my absence, then amen. I'm that unselfish." Well, Andy, even a stopped watch is partially right twice a day if you have cataracts. Brittney wants to use, but she's feeling this newfound supercilious sense of empowerment since her persistence paid off by holding your cheap ass to the fire even if she had to nearly clean out your account to do so. What a rush! Andy, you're not totally useless; you could be used as a bad example.
Coulda' Been a Celebration
12:55 am. What happened to the time after Anthony proposed to Sharae? As long as they're anywhere on the premises; it's good, but they have to haul ass; "Do you hear me"? "Yeah, you talkin' to me like I be a child." "We not gonna' make it, she huffs while taking the stairs two at a time. Anthony, though, steps like a cool cat who is chillin' like a villin' and got his pants on the ground. He charges his ankle monitor and sits down on the couch next to Sharae whose faux black leather Daisy Mae's are inducing varicose veins. She cries because she knows how badly he wants to make her happy and he doesn't cry because, like a three-channel analog television set, his only frequencies are: Pretending I'm Special, I Don't Take Advice from Minions, and I Don't Care if You're Not in the Mood.
It's mock interview time so "laissez les bon temps rouler!” Sharae is lending her experience and time to help her man land a job but her man only sees her as showboating "her fucking talent any chance she gets," so he settles into a gently swinging hammock of blasé, only showing a glimmer of emotion when he mistakenly slaps the résumé in her HR Manager's hands. "I know how to conduct myself in interviews. I'm not just a street guy. I worked at a food distribution center before jail. What did I do there? You got the résumé; doesn't that describe what I did"? "I see you cited the State of NY Dep't of Correctional Facility. Were you actually hired to work there or . . ."? Anthony cuts her short, "I was incarcerated during 2016 and I facilitated and co-manage-mented other incarcerated individuals, I was a teacher's aide and I worked all over the place." "Do you have questions for me? You should interact and not have an "I don't give a fuck attitude and it's like you got some nerve! I wouldn't have given you the job. ACT LIKE YOU WANT TO BE HERE! Not an unusual response to a more than 60/40 socio-economic difference between partners. Turns out the big bad OG adopting a black version of the iconic slow and sure deliberate John Wayne walk really wants a blankie to cover himself and a thumb to suck on.
I Dursen't Prevent My Gent Cement
Joynomi is the Megan Markle of the SW, unloved and unwelcome wherever she goes. Redd is no Harry; in fact, his lumpy shapeless chest and strange shoecracked shiny face make me think he looks more trans than Kerok. While driving back to the hotel, Joynomi's eyebrows look like bark canoes tipped over and she watches Redd on his latest hypnotic toy - the cell phone. Why shouldn't she be tripping when Esther told her about the women sending him money? He wouldn't have revealed it first. "Yes, I would hit someone up for money. I tell you this right now. I did receive some pitchers from females and I kept them, and yeah, I still have them. They just normal pitchers that the homegirls sent. " In a 3-ringed binder covered in protective plastic. "You're jacking off to that shit and then you're on your stupid ass phone all the time," Joy cries. In the hotel room, Redd is rooting around in a suitcase as he asks unenthusiastically, "We cool"? And here comes my nomination for a lovely comeback. "What are you looking for"? "Accountability." It must be hiding in the side pocket. Joy continues to create so Redd says, "Let's be honest. You was talking to people; I was talking to people." "You're going to make things my fault again?" "I'm going from prison to prison, shrugs Redd, "I got females; I got money; you know what I'm saying; but it's like you slept with three dudes, dude!" So, boys and girls, only confess your sins to a religious figure.
Now for a touching reunion with Julie, sporting a Key West sunset color combo, who just happens to be in the neighborhood and has waited 10 ass-stounding years to get it on. They are in perfect selfish harmony - the mongoose killing the cobra and the cobra dying from mongoose venom. "What about her? Well, what about her"? "Yeah, you're right." "Your lips look like they taste good; can I kiss you, please? I don't know how to kiss anymore;" teacher, teach me tonight. Can I give you a hickey so I can mark you"? Joy, my dear, this is not an abject betrayal or revenge thing that has sent this befouled couple to avoid you at the gas station. No. It's a life-and-death medical emergency procedure to reduce the weight of the sperm so that both the left and right sides of the brain unblock the information highway making Redd a fully functioning human being. After sex with Julie and ignoring Joy's numerous calls, Redd tries to flip the script like Henry Hill in "Goodfellas" when he was banging Janice Rossi and her friend Sandy and telling his wife Karen she was crazy to suspect cheating. But the shit is getting heavy so Redd hurries home to moms' where he lied he would be and he and Joy play musical car seats. He isn't smoothing this one over so easily for now. His excuses are being tossed onto the lawn with the same regard as his stuff. Karma's just sharpening her nails and finishing her drink; she'll be with you shortly.
Sometimes You Just Have to Give Them a Taste of Their Own Medicine
Five weeks out Louie is trapped in a house as chopped up and jumbled as Donna's frame of mind, and as Louie vents, of course, Donna agrees and consoles. He is independent for Chrissake! Over in Jersey, the more contemplative 'Lissa becomes, the more irritable she gets. That's that dead inside feeling when the gauzy fabric of impossible dreams begins to blow away, and like side mirrors on an automobile, make objects seem larger due to unit magnification. D-day, dental day, is fast approaching and Donna has an array of Campbell and Progresso soups and jello-like 6-packs. She is going to be the uber caretaker "I'm taking care of you whether you like it or not; you don't really have a choice." Wants to be, and unbelievably will be, since Melissa has capitulated. She lied. Yes, she did, slipping up when Louie was at the dentist's office waiting for a water pipe emergency to be resolved mumbling about an improbable "postal emergency." She's not spending any more money traveling to GA when Louie's still not making a dime. Louie isn't independent even if he thinks he is. "Maybe I made a mistake. I thought you were going to come out as this tough guy. Didn't one look at his Leslie Howard (Ashley Wilkes) physique in "GWTW" preclude that notion? How dare he be someone she didn't want him to be? "I'm the man in the relationship running a household and paying bills. You're acting like a 20-year-old and I'm turning into your f x x x x mother and I don't want to do that." "Is lying only irrelevant when you do it? "Maybe I'll revoke the payment." "It's already paid." "I'll dispute it" "I don't care." "I need my space." "What, are you breaking up with me"? "I'm just putting a pause on things. Act like a f x x x x boss, 'Lissa dictates." "I'll start acting like a boss; I'll hang up on your ass," Louie finally gives as good as he gets. Beep Beep Beep.
"Stay here," Mom urges, "and find a good Southern girl. You'll be a good house husband. 🙄 Leave your options open; ya' never know. And just like that, Donna commandeers Michelle, the blonde receptionist with the speed and precision of a military lightning strike whom she not so subtly interviews. With coffee in hand, Donna scoots the couple outside. Louie feels her out on dating. "Hey, Melissa, we're on pause," he snidely remarks, looking at the camera. So suck on that! Michelle doesn't say yes, but she doesn't say no." You flipped the bitch switch, so sit down, buckle up, and enjoy the ride, asshole.

Okay so I’m on my first rewatch and needed a place to try and articulate all of the layers I’ve witnessed thus far. We’ve all noticed the tattoo’s and the color schemes, and the character archetypes, but there are. SO. MANY. Overlaps that go barely noticed so I’m gonna try and map out what I’ve seen in hopes it contributes to some greater narrative. AMATEOTW is obviously a standalone piece, but I think we’ve all adopted a deeper language at this point.
Spoilers from here on out.
Darby starting at the end was a great indicator of the roadmap to look out for. The fact that it starts in August (August 26 was the date on the motel sign) was the first big easter egg for me
Can we all agree ‘Lady in Red’ goes beyond The OA universe yet? It seems to be a pretty common thing.
When they hacked the garage doors, Bill’s first statement is ‘we have to get out of here.’ And proceeds to go IN to the garage. Mimicking Prairie’s revelation about the experiment. (We’ve been trying to get out, but we need to get IN.)
The hack unlocking ALL the doors felt symbolic. (All doors are to remain open at all times.)
The serial killer started with his wife. (In retrospect, so did HAP, if he and OA are the catalyst of the loop)
When Darby is surfing the Doe files, 37 people are offline. (fun lil egg)
Darby’s earring look like an A on top of an O.
Andy’s assistant needs to be invited in, sort’ve like OA when she made her video.
The concept of ‘Original Thought’ rings truer the deeper you go into concepts of consciousness, which I’ve seen people here dabble in.
Darby’s choking fit kind’ve reminded me of Homers.
‘To finding a way out’ DAMN GIRL BRIT CAME READY TO COOK.
5 years 9 months 20 days and 27 seconds feels SUPER important but idk why yet.
Artificial Insanity vs. Quantum Psychotic
‘You left me many times before.’ This cycle has happened over and over.
The way the camera held just a little longer on that picture of Lee’s short hair felt like a deep breath.
When you analyze the Annie Lenox song your head might explode. (The language is leaving me in sileeence.)
Darby and Bill touching through the glass is TOO. MUCH. I’m pretty sure I burst a blood vessel. Watching Bill die felt like picking up where Homer left off. It’s a new story, with a new set of characters, but the underlying chase keeps finding ways to emerge.
The door cam resembling the rose window was a nice touch.
It’s easy to see Darby as the OA fraction, and we see her relationship with Bill as a reflection of Steve/Homer. But the more I think about it the more I see aspects of Buck. (It was Michelle who solved the puzzle first in Pt. 2, sort’ve giving off the amateur sleuth vibes. Buck was quiet, and He and Michelle both seemed to play their cards close to their chests.) Darby meaning ‘Deer Park’, and her book being called The Silver Doe all land within the same realm as Buck. Plus the wide spectrum of gender identity amongst the actors strikes a chord.
Lee is OA. Married to a powerful, calculating man who appears to have a firm hold on her. A lot of her actions around him feel submissive, and the way he snaps back at her when her and Darby are talking during the film SCREAMS aggression and control. When she isn’t playing stepford wife she looks scared. It’s a character procured from the mind of Brit Marling, who, where OA last left off, was doxxed of her identity and disappeared herself. ‘I thought I married you’ felt meaningful. Rehearsed. Like the perfect thing a wife would say.
We all saw the OA symbol during that movie they played, and the tone sounded like the rings of Saturn. The black square was a nice touch.
I need to finish episode 2 again. I’ll add more later tonight.

I Don't Have to Listen to that Bullshit!
Redd is being driven to his mother's, Esther's house, to drop a bomb, i.e., declare his manhood while his family mistakenly thinks they will spend quality time together. Redd shakes his new braids as exuberantly as a horse shakes his head because either the bit fits uncomfortably in the mouth or the reins are being mishandled. It doesn't take long for Redd to shakily declare his independence and vouchsafe his manhood. At first quietly and hesitatingly, he builds up to a crescendo of conceit. When expressing an already-formed belief, we rely on our gut reactions to give us an accurate evaluation making us confident in our judgment. Thus, Redd was unable to accurately read the room blaming, "This state done me in." So, it's the Show Me state's fault that is responsible for Redd's own actions and not Redd himself. Aah! This rationale is a twofer for he not only gets to outfit himself in blameless victimhood, but he also accuses fam of being the wrong uns.
Esther is livid and voluble, "You might be done with MO, but you can't be done with your family that fast. "We've had no man in the house for ten years and you just give us 2 days!" Paris, a cousin, chimes in, "Who is Joy? We really don't know her." Joy, calmly sitting on the couch in a white sundress cradling her breasts hammock style, pipes up, "I want the best for him just like you do and when he gets home, he'll get what he needs." Paris counters with, "You should encourage him to stay home with his family." "This is where he got in trouble." "Well, he could stay indoors and stay out of trouble with the family. We're only asking for 2 weeks; not a whole year." They are disappointed and they are not alone. Stand in line and take a number. Redd is the unlikely wishbone and not the backbone everyone is fighting over. "I have to choose my wife because my wife is my life." The family angrily gets up to leave in disgust knocking over chairs while Redd bleats an unconvincing, "I luh y'all." Mom's had it. "Do what you wanna do. Who did 10 years time with you? Me, that's who. So forget us." An uncomprehending Redd shakes his head, "It's crazy man when all I'm tryin' to do is better myself." "Yeah, babe," sympathizes Lilith, the primordial she-demon banished from the Garden of Eden for not complying with and obeying Adam. Lilith with the snake's deceiving tongue draws men into her web until she owns their life and finally takes it. Without blinking an eyelash.
"Ten years I've been through hell and back. Now he's gotta' choice. Yeah, he's 30 years old, but he's not ready. He can make up his own mind. He thinks he's ready. Wanna' get out of MO so bad, but he knows nothing about New Mexico. Nothing!" And in comes Destiny with the pizzas no one will eat and she quickly clocks the situation. "It's a🐦 little slap in the face and I don't want him to go, but he's making that decision. We have no say." "Disrespecting my wife man; that ain't cool." "Your wife, your wife! This is a bunch of BS. You okay with him abandoning us"? "He's not abandoning you." I mean they will try to visit several times a year. "The last 10 years I came to see you. Not once did she come to see you; oh yeah, you abandon me. That's what you doin'." "I gotta go." "You don't hafta' go. Yeah, walk on out. This how you gonna' do it? Go. DO YOU. Take her with you. "Mom, I don't hafta listen to that BS," Redd grumbles. "He rilly rilly needs to see a doctor right now. I don't think he's all the way 👌. Let 'em go. Your damn wife! You ain't even married!" Go on. You finally broke up the family again. He don't even rilly know her. He just do what the hell he wants. I'm just through. 🐦 - There it goes, my last flying fuck.
I Told You to Be Independent, Not Stupid
"Things between us have been interesting since he's been out. He's having a hard time doing things on his own." To prove the point, Louie calls on his way to work wondering if Melissa had a Netflix account that would activate his app once she gave him the required information. "Since I left GA, Louie is calling me constantly with these dumb questions. Like when I left, I must have taken his brain with me because he doesn't know how to do anything." "What kind of fish do you like to eat? How do you transfer money from a checking to a savings account? Have you ever listened to someone for a while and wondered . . . "Who ties your shoelaces for you'? Louie got a call about making a final payment for his teeth. You could look at it as your final investment in me; you've got my word." I've got your words for a lot of things, Louie." "I've been keeping 'em up; have I not"? It's going to come back to you; I promise." Melissa muses, "He could be doing a lot more even though he says he's working 50 hours a week. I wanted him to work somewhere else," other than the pizzeria. "He went to two job interviews, but didn't land them so he got discouraged and fell back on what he knew. It was easy for him. He's just staying how he was before he went to prison." Well, 'Lissa, he took your advice and made one independent decision that would, in his mind, benefit the both of you. He bought a new car! "How the fuck did you buy a new car," Melissa belligerently bellows? "Of all the nit-picky things you've asked me, you didn't think it was important enough to run this by me'? Louie is puzzled. He made a major purchase for $5500 without considering his girlfriend's expenditure of $4500 on his teeth. He doesn't know how to haggle and he guilelessly accepts the salesman's word for the car's condition. Melissa is nearly astounded and before her walloping hangup, she hurls the brickbat, "Have fun with your car; you'll probably be living in it." "That's not good," mutters Louie. This grownup thing has been fun, but I have to go now.
Jiminy Cricket! Could her family have been right? Silly me, expecting too much from people again. Off to a sisters' couples massage session that turns out to be anything but serene. Cheri and Melissa sure look like siblings. The same artificially-looking jet-black hair, battleship makeup, beginnings of double chins, and coloring books of to-be-filled-in-line art tattoos. They both share an abysmal history with men who are abusive and/or addictive and they have suffered because a mistaken idea of love kept them in severe denial. Cheri wants her sister to take the advice Melissa gave her and has widened the crack. "What does he have to offer"? Crickets. Is Melissa finally seeing him for who he is or for who he is now? Is she also seeing her unrealistic expectations? When someone's magical thinking doesn't result in the other person's change, then that results in moral indignation and premeditated resentment. There is weeping and all the masseuses kneading cannot possibly be relaxing them. My entire life can be summed up in one sentence . . . "Well, that didn't go as fucking planned."
I Don't Care About Kids Right Now
I thought to myself doesn't seeing Tammy bear a striking resemblance to her son, Kerok, sans mini braids? "I'll be jiggered if just then Kerok compliments his mother on her beauty. She agrees; after all, they resemble each other! Kerok now has the time to be there for her health conditions. "You beat cancer. You did your thang. Your T H A N G. Britney is still a little stone in his shoe. She quit the beauty academy to doggedly read inspirational passages in the morning that don't register until after lunch - the next day, and she can't let go of that IVF thing. It's a process she repeats incessantly. She really wants to carry a child so she schleps him off to see Dr. Keith in person. He advises doing an egg retrieval sooner rather than later, but he would require more information on the fertility aspect. If Kerok quits testosterone, he can get stimulation medication that would help produce eggs. Then egg retrieval and finding a sperm donor to make embryos to store in the lab, and then egg transfer when ready for it. If the process proceeds smoothly, Kerok should be looking at coming off the testosterone in 3 months, doing stimulation meds for 3 weeks, and then back to testosterone. Not a lifetime Britney irritatingly interposes although there will be physical and mental side effects for both of them, they are warned. Kerok wonders how he'll pay for this; inside his transition was paid for. He wants chest and other reassignment surgery. Now, Dr. Keith says there are 3 places that will accept Medicare. Kerok grasps that being born with a twin brother (who subsequently died) must have given him more than his fair share of trans-ness. He's young and focused on other things, Mom and Britney notwithstanding. Parenthood, the scariest hood you'll ever go through.
Do You Think I'm Easy . . . Just Gonna' Open Up My Legs for You?
They are stoney broke so Mikey's happy to go out to eat on sis', Courtney's, dime. Might be a red flag, Chelsea's thinking. She has too much pride to ask for money although those chicken tenders in that excellent sauce don't taste half bad. She's leaving soon and they not only need to discuss their future, but they need to address Mikey's horniness. She's glad she met his family and appreciates Hadley, but she is also worried about all the single girls, his ex, and his baby mama when she returns to OH. To reassure her, Mikey rolls up his sleeve and proudly exhibits his nearly arm-length LOYALTY tattoo "That's me." At this rate, between him and Chelsea, they'll soon be running out of body canvas on which to mark a significant experience or struggle or just as an appealing form of art. Mikey asks whether Chelsea has dated hearing guys. "Yeah, and they're better in bed too." Not what Mikey was expecting but he valiantly bounced back with, "They can hear you loud." Chelsea is shy about sex talk but it's Mikey's love language - not exclusively, sir. They've been going together for 2 years already. "Are we gonna"? "I don't care; you're not in my shoes; you don't understand. Look at porn on your phone. Why sex tonight"? "Because it feels good to fuck," Mikey chirps as he squirms like a Mexican jumping bean.
Mikey knows about rapists having been inside with them. "They're the scum of the earth and I have no respect for them." They'll go slow, "like 5 or 6 months slow, I don't know." "I'm here for you whether 4 months or 4 years and I'll help you come out of your shell." "It's like a 200 lb weight lifted off my shoulders," Chelsea confesses. Neither one has experienced anything like this - snuggling and cuddling and speaking honestly without any kind of sex or abuse. It's enthralling and it makes the unscheduled stop at Krystal Music that much more enjoyable. Music has always been his passion and while jailed, since the penitentiary allowed some outside retailers to sell certain items, Mikey bought a keyboard and taught himself to play. Now Chelsea is picking up a pair of drumsticks and feels the vibrations in the air. Mikey will play and Chelsea will sit on the suggested amp and feel it. She also feels Mikey's throat and can now discern he has a deep voice. He loves his music, but if he has to sacrifice it because of Chelsea's deafness (not to mention his ongoing hearing problems), he will in a heartbeat. It is a warm-toned moment.
Now Chelsea is rolling out her luggage and it's time for goodbyes. What will Mikey do without her now? What he did before now. Will he go back to stealing cars? He just points to his arm. Loyalty. He can visit her in 30 days - that's 43,200 minutes of incentive so he has to stay out of trouble. Will he cross the line with his baby mama when they haven't even had sex? I'm thinking right about now that Mikey is as much of a paladin as any male ex-con we've seen so far, so I was taken aback when he announced he was a sexual deviant tarnishing that knightly glow and after rapping rapists, too, not an hour prior. He did wrong to many women; had never been faithful to any woman until now, but chased them with fast money involved. Was this All-KY white boy a pimp? How does he define deviancy? Has he done penance? Does Chelsea know? Silly man, tricks are for pimps.
She's Not a Golddigger, He Promised, He Lied
Listen, she has so much going on with the kids that his offer of money, a phone, and a car means a new start for her since she has NOTHING. He set up her expectations and is now going to renege!? Not on Brittney's watch! "Why is there an issue with money or banks? You promised. PROVE IT", she gleefully challenges him. "What are we doing; I need to know," Andy asks plaintively even now because he either is really that benighted or he's effecting a wonderful imitation of Forrest Gump. "I need you to be honest with me; that's what we're doing," Brittney belabors. "All I've done to be honest with you; every bit." "You say one thing and do another. That's not being honest." Even second-hand smoke can't deter Andy from seeking proximity as he tries to squiggle close to her on the front porch. "I've given you the facts." "There's holes in your story - fraud, the bank disallowing you drawing out money," she explicates yet again. "You saw the balance." Undeterred she orders, "Well, go get $500." "She thinks I probably killed Jimmy Hoffa at this point, for Christ's sake. Why don't you go with me if you're so worried about it"? "Yeah, okay." "Here's the thing that really grinds my damn gears. I made promises to Brittney that I never had to make. I fulfilled things for her that no other human being would ever dream of doing. Then why? This is the damn thanks that I get? Accusations and more damn accusations and she just treats me like dogshit."
You know why, Andy? Somewhere down the line when you tried to uphold your boundaries, the consequences were appalling and far-reaching so to keep the peace you avoided confrontation enough to disassociate and pretend everything was okay. Or you didn't want to grow up because you were afraid of stepping into your own power. Consequently, you lack self-esteem and who wouldn't when being constantly belittled? This is how people pleasers are born; they derive self-worth from other people's opinions of them so they allow liberties to be taken with them so as not to disappoint others, and if that's the case, you have no other choice, especially if your life circumstances are unfavorable. Still knowing isn't doing and we wish you would grow a set.
In the car, both their bellies bellying up to their seat belts, Brittney's growing hopelessness is a trigger and the barrel is pointed at Andy's head until he pulls up to the drive-thru ATM and hands over a pile of $20s in her hot little hand. She counts them greedily, shuffling them like a Vegas casino dealer who first follows a standard card shuffle procedure which includes a thrice-performed riffle shuffle followed by a strip shuffle, and then one more riffle shuffle before cutting the deck. All the while, Andy is vociferously claiming, "I don't care about money. Money is replaceable. By me getting money - that's an olive branch on my side. It proves my point that whatever it takes; I'll do to make Brittney happy." No, Andy, it proves that if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. "Oops, you're $20 short; just kidding." "Now who's a liar"? "That's a joke!" We are not amused.
As she packs, she whispers in the small house that his lies are a means of control. She grows more voluble as she enumerates, "Can't take his car 'cause it's in his name; can't use the phone and call my kids because it cost over $500 and I'll be arrested with a felony charge again. I'm not on paper and I'm not going to fuck this up for a fresh start." "Why are you packing your stuff"? "Because it's my stuff. I'm disappointed here." "Me too." "Well, you set yourself up by lying about fraud, your relationship with your kids, the car; should I continue"? "None of it was lies," he rebuts weakly. "I don't want to argue." Each minute is another contraction of revulsion even though she has no Plan B. I'm not worried. Her ability to flip the script should have placed her in SAG-AFTRA maneuvering for a quick contract negotiation. "Life ain't a game. You can't play with people's emotions. I'm being fucked with. Period," Andy huffs. What a time for an unsuspecting Gracie to call. She thinks mom's phone is dead, but it's lying on the front seat of the car, and while Brittney could make one phone call to her daughter without being arrested, she prefers to Shanghai strangers on the street because she'd rather go back to the can than be around him. I may not be perfect but at least I'm not you.

Buy my records! Added 50+ since last post
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$15 - A Great Big Pile of Leaves - Boom! VG+
$11 - A Weather - Everyday Balloons (with 7") SEALED
$25 - Abiotic - Ikigai (black/whit/red) NM
$60 - AFI - Sing the Sorrows(red w black smoke 2xlp) vg+ [1 record has nick on the outer ring but does not effect playbook at all]
$30 - Against Me - 23 Live Sex Acts VG+
$50 - Against Me! - New Wave (1st press Black Yellow split with insert) NM
$70 - Against Me! - Transgender Dysphoria Blues (Blue/White Swirl) VG+ corner wear
$65 Against Me! - Shape Shift With Me (Random Colors Tour Press) VG++
$90 - Against Me! - Transgender Dysphoria Blues (Pink Signed by Laura Jane Grace) VG+
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Cardinals SEALED
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$18 - Alice in Chains - Dirt NM in shrink (unofficial)
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$18 - Alkaline Trio/Hot Water Music Split (Hot Pink) SEALED
$30 - Allen Stone - Allen Stone (2xlp) Vg+
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$36 - Andy Hull - Who is Your Humble/Born of You Demos (black/red A Side and Splatter) SEALED
$12 - Angel Olsen - Whole New Mess (clear smoke) VG+
$36 - Anthony Green - Would You still be Live? (blue) in shrink, small seam split in shrink VG+
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$85 - Bad Rabbits - Stick Up Kids (White with Yellow Jacket out of 66) VG++
$90 - Bad Rabbits - American Love (red/
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$19 - Balance and Composure - Light We Made VG+
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with bone and red splatter) VG+
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$10 - Beach Slang - A Loud Bash of Teenage Feelings (green/blue starburst) VG++
$20 - Beach Slang - Broken Thrills VG+
$10 - Beach Slang - The Things We Do to Find People Who Feel Like Us (clear) VG+
$17 - Bears Den - So that you Might Hear Me SEALED
$20 - Bear Hands - Distractions NM
$20 - Bearings - Hello, It's You Deluxe (red yellow white galaxy) SEALED
$25 - Beastie Boys - Beastie Boys Music (2xlp red/white) NM
$22 - The Beatles - The Decca Tapes (1979 picture disc unofficial LK 4438) VG+
$15 - Beck - Hyperspace (picture disc) SEALED
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$20 - Bedouin SOundclash - We Will Meet in a Hurricane (peach) SEALED
$16 - Ben Howard - Noonday Dream SEALED
$18 - The Best Of the Worst -Better Medicine (bonew multi color splatter) NM
$10 - The Beta Machine - Intruder (red/black swirl) SEALED
$12 - Better Off - Meth Head (orange) NM
$17 - Big Red Machine - S/T VG+ shelf wear
$12 - Big Sean - Finally Famous Deluxe Edition NM
$14 - Billy Raffoul - International Hotel SEALED
$20 - Black Pumas - Black Pumas (black/gold & black/red) VG++
$30 - Bloom - Thousand Yard Stare (pink) VG+
$50 - Blu and Exile - Give me my flowers while I can still smell them (red 2xLP) VG++
$32 - Bon Iver - i,I (ttl Red) VG+
$50 - Bon Iver - Blood Bank Deluxe (Red) VG+
$20 - Boygenius - The Record (black comes with zine and temp tattoo) NM
$12 - Boys Night Out - Nevermind 2 (red tail lights) VG corner bend
$32 - Boys Night Out - Nevermind 2 (red and clear swirl /150) NM
$32 - Boys Night Out - Black Dogs (yellow numbered /150) VG+
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$26 - Bright Eyes - Cassadaga (2xlp Vortex Yellow) SEALED
$35 - Bright Eyes - The Peoples Key (Fiery Orange) SEALED
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$16 - Brittany Howard - Jamie (starburst) VG+
$17 - Bruno Mars - Unorthordox Jukebox VG+
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$18 - Camp Cope - How to Socialize and
Make Friends (red) VG+
$18 - Camp Trash - The Long Way the Slow Way (swamp in clear) NM
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$15 - Caroline Kingsbury - Heavens Just a Flight (full moon white) NM
$18 - Car Seat Headrest - Making a Door Less Open VG++
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$45 - Cassino - Sounds of Salvation (black /300) VG+
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$80 - Cassino - Kingprince (test Press alt sleeve) NM
$21 - Cavetown - 16/04/16 (blue) VG+
$12 - Charly Bliss - Young Enough (Blue) VG+
$28 - Choir Boy - Gathering Swans (glow in the dark) VG+
$40 - Chromatics - In the City (purple) VG+
$28 - Circa Survive - A Dream About Love (Green w Splatter) VG+
$70 - Circa Survive - A Dream About Death (Crystal Blue with alt screenprinted
numbered cover) NM
$45 - Circa Survive - Blue Sky Noise (clear w blue and black swirl /300) SEALED
$65 - Circa Survive - Blue Sky Noise Anniversary (3xlp pink, yellow, blue) SEALED
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$70 - Circa Survive - On Letting Go (Black/Pink Mix) VG++
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$64 - Circa Survive - Juturna (clear w orange black splatter) SEALED
$70 - Circa Survive - Violent Waves (black inside blue w blue splatter) SEALED
$19 - Citizen - As You Please (black in clear) VG+
$32 - Citizen - As You Please (orange bone smash) VG+
$21 - Citizen - Life in Your Glass World (blue/green galaxy) VG+
$20 - Citizen - Everyone is Going to Heaven (tri color) VG
$19 - Citizen/Turnover Split (hot pink) NM
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$42 - The Civil Wars - Live At Eddie's Attic VG+
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$50 - Cold War Kids - Mine is Yours VG+
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$90 - Common - Like Water For Chocolate (green/white 2xlp 180g) VG seam split on top
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$20 - Conway the Machine - Greetings Earthlings NM
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$24 - Creeks(Balance and Composure) - The Pain you Took On (Sea glass green)
$14 - CSS - Donkey VG+
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$28 - Dan Mangan - Nice Nice Very Nice 10th anniversary VG+
$275 - Dance Gavin Dance - Box Set (6xlp all color vinyl in NM/ box VG+)
$105 - Danger Radio - The Difference
Between Love and Envy (CleaGreen Negative space WAX MAGE /50) NM
$20 - Darlingside - Extralife (in slipcase) VG+
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$13 - Dave Chappelle - 8:46 SEALED
$24 - Dave Hause - Bury Me in Philly (Clear) NM
$180 - The Dear Hunter - Act 1 and Act 2 3xlp Clear VG shelf wear
$44 - Death Cab For Cutie - Transatlanticism (2xlp 180g) NM
$25 - Deep Throat Choir - Be OK (import) VG+
$100 - Deep Sea Diver - Impossible Weight TEST PRESS (custom 1 of 1 sleeve ask for pics) NM
$16 - Deer Tick and Guards - Daytrotter Session VG+
$16 - Deer Leap and The World is a Beautiful Place and I'm No Longer Afraid to Die - Are Here to Help
$100 - Dermot Kennedy - Without Fear Complete Edition (Blue) VG+
$20 - Dessa - Ides (clear SIGNED) vG+
$20 - Dessa - Sound the Bells SEALED
$23 - Dessa - Parts of Speech (signed) VG+
$10 - Dexter Gordan - Sophisticated Giant (2018 press) SEALED
$14 - Diet Cig - Swear I'm good at this (blue marbled) VG+
$30 - Dinner Party - Dessert EP (yellow w red splatter) VG+
$18 - Dinner Party - S/T VG+
$55 - Doomtree - S/T 2xLP VG+
$27 - The Dip - Sticking With It (pink and purple splatter) VG++
$20 - Dry Cleaning - New Long Leg (Yellow) NM
$34 - Durand Jones and the Indications - Private Space (Red Nebula) VG+
$28 - The Eastern Sea - Plague (Gray) VG+
$18 - Eidola - The Architect (ultra clear) VG+
$10 - Elaquent - Forever is a Pretty Long Time (yellow black marble) SEALED
$10 - Ellie Holcomb - Canyon (blue+bone mix) SEALED
$18 - Emily King - Special Occasion (ckear) SEALED
$20 - Everyone Everywhere - S/T 1 (Maroon and White Stripe) SEALED
$30 - Everyone Everywhere - S/T 2 (Green and Orange Stripe) SEALED
$20 - Everyone Everywhere - S/T 3 (White)
SEALED
$30 - Fairweather - If they move kill them.. (clear and black marble) Sealed
$21- Fall Out Boy - Take This to Your Grave (silver) SEALED slight seam up top
$20 - The Felix Culpa - Sever Your Roots (2xlp, seam split) VG
$49 - Fear Before - Fear Before (brown black split) NM
$16 - Fences - Lesser Ocean (salmon) vG+
$80 - Fibre - Rendezvous (Purple Nebula) NM
$13 - Field Mouse - Hold Still Life (rose) VG+
$10 - Finneas - Optimist (dark red) SEALED vG+
$18 - The Flatliners - Inviting Light (doublemint) VG+
$30 - The Flatliners - New Ruin (oramge/yellow split with splatter) NM
$17 - Fleet Foxes - A Very Lonely Solstice (clear) VG+
$40 - Fleshwater - Were not here to be loved (orange/magneta/green) VG+
$65 Foals - Everything Not Saved will be Lost (box set has Violet 7" but no signed prints) VG inner sleeve tear
$20 - Fontaines DC - Skinty Fia (black) NM
$115 - The Forecast - In the Shadow of Two Gunmen (clear) VG+
$70 - Forgive Durden - Razias Shadow (bone/brown 2xLP) SEALED
$50 - The Format - Dog Problems (Piss Yellow 2xLP) SEALED
$40 - The Format - Interventions and Lullabies (Yellow&Green Pinwheel) SEALED
$16 - Foxing - Dealer (clear w red splatter) VG++
$14 - Freddie Gibbs & Madlib - Thuggin EP VG sleeve wear
$30 - Free Throw - Bear Your Mind (half
cream/half blue) VG+ slight crease
$18 - Fuckin Whatever - S/T (yellow w blue splatter) VG+
$13 - Future Crooks - Future Crooks in Paradise (black w fire) VG+
$100 - Future Islands - Singles (Test Press with Custom Sleeve) NM
$15 - Gang of Youths - Angel in Realtime (White 2xLP) VG media in VG+, sleeve bent up from shipping
$22 - Gary Clark Jr - Live VG+
$22 -Gary Clark Jr - This Land SEALED
$18 - Gatsbys American Dream - Modern Man (pink/black mix) NM
$36 - The Get up Kids - Eudora (2xlp Mint 2016 press) VG+
$20 - Get Up kids/ the anniversary split (blue) vg+
$12 - Girlhouse - The Eps (w orange flexi) SEALED
$10 - Girlpool - PowerPlant SEALED
$25 - Glasvegas - Glasvegas (import, 10th anniversary cover) NM
$15 - The Go Team - The Scene Between VG+
$16 - The Goalies Anxiety at the Penalty Kick - Ways of Hearing (coke bottle green) SEALED
$50 - Good Old War - Only Way to Be Alone (brown/gold swirl) VG+
$25 - Good Old War - Good Old War VG+
$90 - Good Sleepy - Everysinglelittlebit (Test Press with custom sleeve) NM
$15 - Gorillaz - Song Machine Season One VG+
$15 - Grand Archives - The Grand Archives (with white 7") VG++
$36 - Grouplove - Never Trust a Happy Song VG+
$29 - Green Day - Tune in Tokyo (blue) VG+
$25 - Gym Class Heroes - The Paper Cut
Chronicles (Emerald) SEALED
$80 - Half Waif - The Caretaker (Test Press with custom sleeve) NM
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$17 - Hannah Jadagu - Aperture (Red) SEALED
$10 - Harry Hudson- Yesterday's Tomorrow Night (grey) SEALED
$50 - HRVD - From the Birds Cage (Blue Split) NM
$48 - Harvard - The Inevitable and I (Horizontal stripe w blood splatter 2xlp) NM
$18 - Hatchie - Giving the World Away VG+
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$18 - Hazel English - California Dreamin (red flexi) NM
$28 - The Head and the Heart - Living Mirage: The Complete Recordings (2xlp Pink) VG+
$90 - Hightide Hotel - Nothing Was Missing, Except Me VG+
$36 - Home is Where - The Whaler (pink and blue marble) VG++
$60 - Home is Where - I Became Birds (orange) VG++
$18 - Homeless Gospel Choir - I Used to be So Young (red) VG+
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$40 - Hooray For Earth - True Loves (White) VG+
$22 - Hop Along - Painted Shut (pink) SEALED
$34 - The Horrible Crowes - Elise (Purple) VG+
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$74 - Hot Mulligan - Pilot (black 180g out of 400) vg+
$25 - Hot Mulligan - Opportunities (gold nugget) VG seam split
$38 - Hot Mulligan - You'll be Fine (Blue w white splatter) SEALED
$55 - Hot Rod Circuit - Sorry About Tomorrow (pink marble) NM
$82 - Hot Rod Circuit - The Underground is a Dying Breed (Gray Marble w/ 7") VG++
$25 - The Hotelier - Goodness (Cerulean & Coral) VG+
$20 - Houndmouth - Good For You (yellow and orange swirl) sealed
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$16 - Hovvdy - Heavy Lifter (Orange) SEALED
$20 - I Can Make A Mess - Enola (white/pink starburst) VG+
$16 - Illuminati Hotties - Let Me Do One
More (clear w blue splatter) SEALED
$35 -Inhaler - It Won't Always Be Like This (red marbled) VG seam split
$12 - Ivy Sole - Overgrown (blue/clear w yellow splatter) NM
$15 - Iron Chic - Shitty Rambo EP (Grey Marbled) VG+
$30 - Iron Chic - Split n Shit (inbetween mix color /24) VG+
$38 - Iron Chic - You Cant Stay Here (galaxy) VG+
$15 - Jack Garratt - Love, Death and Dancing SEALED
$15 - Jack Johnson - Meet the Moonlight
(Silver) SEALED
$16 - Jack White - Fear of the Dawn (moonglow) SEALED
$40 - Jaden - ERYS (2xLP Pink) VG+
$20 - Jamila Woods - Heavn VG+
$28 - Jared Heart - Past Lives and Pass Lines (purple) VG+
$13 - Jaws - Be Slowly (white) VG+
$25 - Jared Hart - Past Lives and Pass Lines (purple) NM
$80 - Jay-z and Kanye - Watch the Throne (bootleg Red) unplayed in shrink NM
$12 - Jermaine Dupri - So So Def 25th anniversary (picture disc) SEALED
$12 - Joey Alexander - Warna 2xLP SEALED
$22 - Bluey the Album VG+ seam split
$31 - Jimmy Eat World - Clarity (2xLP) VG+
$80 - John Nolan (taking back sunday) - Height (custom 1 of 1 sleeve) NM
$38 - Joy Crookes - Skin (clear import) SEALED
$62 - Joyce Manor - S/T (Coke bottle clear) VG+
$18 - Joyce Manor - Cody VG+
$18 - Joyce Manor - Million Dollars to Kill Me VG+
$11 - Joyce Manor - Never Hungover Again (black) G+ corner bend, vinyl is NM
$72 - Joyce Manor - Never Hungover Again (Orange) VG++
$30 - Joyce Manor - Of All Things I Will Soon (clear blue) VG ++
$18 - Juliana Theory - Still the Same Kids pt 1 (yellow w/ black/red splatter) SEALED
$18 - Just Friends - Hella (half black/Half blood red) SEALED
$10 - Kacy Hill - Simple Sweet and Smiling (clear and pink splatter) SEALED
$20 - Kaleo - Spotify Singles vol 1 NM
$80 - Karen O - Where the Wild Things Are VG+ shelf wear
$30 - Kendrick Lamar - Damn (green) NM
$20 - Kevin Devine - Put Your Ghost to Rest (blue and white) VG+
$45 - Khruangbin - Mordechai (Neon Yellow) NM
$15 - Kate Bush - This Woman's Work 7" VG+
$18 - Kid Canaveral - Faulty Inner Dialogue
(yellow) VG+
$18 - Knuckle Puck - Disposable Life (blue and white marble) SEALED
$21 - Knxwledge - 1988 (splatter) SEALED
$22 - Korine - Tear (Clear) NM
$20 - Korine - The Night we Raise (blood red) SEALED
$22 - Kota the Friend - Memo (blue/green swirl) NM
$12 - Kurt Vile - Constant Hitmaker VG+
$42 - Kyle Kinane - Loose in Chicago (Blue) NM
$25 - Labrinth - Euphoria Season 2 (Hazy
Dawn) VG++
$29 - Lacuna Coil - Live From the Apocolypse (white with DVD) SEALED
$18 - Lana Del Rey - Born to Die NM
$18 - Lando Chill - FOR Mark, Your Son (cleared split) VG+
$20 - Lannds - Lotus (purple and cream swirl) NM
$20 - Lany - gg bb xx (white) VG++
$15 - Latewaves - Hell to Pay ( clear w blue splatter) VG+
$17 - Laura Jane Grace - Stay Alive (lapis blue) NM
$12 - Laura Jane Grace - At War with the Silverfish (clear) SEALED
$27 - Laura Jane Grace and the Devouring Mothers - Bought to Rot VG++
$50 - The Lawrence Arms - Cocktails and Dreams (Orange 2xLP) VG++
$52 - The Lawrence Arms - Skeleton Coast (Malort) VG+
$12 - Lemuria - Pebble (Clear) VG+
$100 - Lemuria - The First Collection TEST PRESS (1 of a kind custom jacket) NM
$20 - Leon Bridges - Coming Home VG+
$16 - Lera Lynn - Plays well with Others SEALED
$22 - Liars - They threw us all in a trench and stuck monument on top SEALED
$10 - Little Steven and the interseller Jazz Renegades - Lilyhammer the score vol 2 SEALED
$10 - Little Steven and the Disciples of Soul - Men Without Women SEALED
$22 - Lou From Paradise & Statik Selektah - Not Dead Yet! (Half Blue/Half Black) NM
$20 - The Lumineers - S/T NM
$60 - Lydia - Assailants ( yellow in clear) NM
$10 - Luluc - Sculptor SEALED
$20 - Lydia - I Was Someone Else (Maroon) VG+
$18 - Macseal - Super Enthusiast (doublemint green) SEALED
$15 - Madisen Ward and the Mama Bear - Skeleton Crew SEALED
$18 - Masked Intruder - Masked Intruder VG ++
$72 - Marietta - Summer Death (White with Blue Starburst) NM
$20 - Marlon Wayans - Woke-ish SEALED
$24 - Marlon Williams - Make Way for Love (blue) VG+
$10 - Mas Ysa - Seraph NM
$25 - Mat Kerekes - Luna and the wild blue everything (tri color blue/white/light blue) SEALED
$12 - Mat Kerekes - Nova (white/black asidebside) SEALED
$17 - Matchbook Romance /Motion Cit Soundtrack split (red) SEALED
$22 - Mates Of State - Team Boo (clear) VG+
$16 - Matt Berninger - Serpentine Prison (Sea blue) SEALED
$20 - Matt Pryor - May day VG+
$60 - The Menzingers - Rented Wold (white w black splatter) NM
$30 - The Menzingers - Rented World (baby blue) NM
$22 - The Menzingers - From Exile (Tan) NM
$15 - The Menzingers - No Penance/ Cemetery's Garden NM
$40 - Mercy Union - The Quarry (electric blue) NM
$28 - Michael Kiwanuka - Love & Hate 2xLP VG+
$13 - The Walking Dead Saints and Sinners Soundtrack (3xlp color with smoke vinyl) SEALED
$13 - Middle Kids - Today We're the
Greatest VG+
$20 - Mini Trees - Always in Motion (red scarlet) SEALED
$38 - Minus the Bear - Farewell (3xLP White) VG+
$50 - Minus the Bear - Highly Refined Pirates (blue with white splatter) SEALED
$24 - Mitylion - Nite Flite (pink) VG+
$38 - Mom Jeans - Best Buds (clear) VG+
$90 - Moneen - Are We Really Happy with Who we Are Right Now (orange w clear splatter) VG+
$120 - The Money Pit - S/T (Coke bottle with green splatter) VG+
$10 - Mount Sharp - Weird Fears VG+
$14 - The Movielife - Cities in Search of a Heart (doublemint) SEALED
$125 - The Movielife - Forty Hour Train Back to Penn (Red) VG++
$35 - Moving Mountains - Foreward (white) NM
$35 - Moving Mountains - Moving Mountains (red in yellow) VG+
$22 - Mumford and Son - Delta 2xLP VG+
$18 - Mxmtoon - Rising (baby blue) SEALED
$18 - My Bloody Valentine - Isnt Anything
(bootleg import) VG+
$21 - The National - The first two pages of Frankenstein (red) VG+
$20 - The Neighborhood - I Love You 2xLP VG+
$20 - The Network - Money Money 2020(pink numbered) SEALED
$32 - No Devotion(Thursday) - No Oblivion (coke bottle with black marble) VG seam split
$52 - No Pressure - No Pressure LP (pink inside clear with orange and green splatter) NM
$18 - Noah Gunderson - Carry the Ghost 2xLP VG+
$20 - Nothing - The Great Dismal (Clear w black and blue smoke and magneta,brown and white splatter) VG+
$20 - Nothing - The Great Dismal (Blue w silver and white splatter) VG+
$20 - Nothing - The Great Dismal (Orange and clear split w orange and blue splatter) VG+
$20 - Nothing - The Great Dismal (Blue/White/Magneta Twist) VG+
$38 - Nothing - The Great Dismal (Black inside clear and blue half and half with splatter [in silver bag]) VG+
$25 - Nothing - The Great Dismal (Blue and clear half and half with splatter) VG+
$10 - Nothing - Tired of Tomorrow VG+
$22 - Nothing.Nowhere. - BummeWho Are You? (Half Yellow/Half Clear) SEALED
$30 - Novo Amor - Woodgate, NY NM
$30 - Oddisee - The Beauty in All VG+
$40 - Oddisee - Rock Creek Park (autumn gold) VG+
$14 - Of Monsters and Men - Fever Dream (clear with pink splatter) VG+ Sealed
$40 - Ogbert the Nerd - I Dont Hate You (Spilled Baja Blast Variant /100) NM unopened
$17 - Oh Wonder - Ultralife VG sleeve bent
up from shipping
$19 - Okkervil River - The Stand Ins VG+
$22 - Omar Apollo - Ivory SEALED
$10 - The One AM Radio - This Too Will Pass VG+
$16 - The Only Children ' The Change of Living (brown/creme swirl) VG+
$15 - Aint too Proud - Life and Times of the Temptations Broadway Cast Recording SEALED
$20 - Owen - The Seaside EP (blue marble) VG+
$40 - Owen - O Evelyn (test press) NM
$40 - Owen - Abandoned Bridges (test press) SEALED
$30 - Owen - At Home With (Picture Disc) NM
$65 - Owen - I Do Perceive (White) VG++
$23 - Owen - I Do Perceive (black in clear) VG++
$25 - Paerish - Fixed it All (violet w green splatter) VG++
$16 - Pale Waves - My Mind Makes Noises (clear 2xlp) NM
$20 - Pale Waves - Who Am I? (Clear) VG++
$22 - Paramore - Riot (silver) SEALED
$10 - Paul McCartney- III Imagined 2xLP SEALED
$65 - Person L - The Positives (Peach import) NM
$10 - Petal - Shame (pink) VG+
$35 - Phox - Phox (coke bottle green) VG+
$18 - Pianos Become the Teeth - Drift (red) SEALED
$10 - PINE - s/t (blue /200) SEALED
$20 - Pinegrove - Cardinal NM
$26 - Pinegrove - Everything so Far (2xLP) VG+
$30 - Pinegrove - Marigold (yellow) VG+
$60 - Pinegrove - Skylight Deluxe (2xlp clear with obi strip) SEALED
$20 - Pink Navel - Epic (no insert) VG+
$14 - Polar Bear Club - Chasing Hamburg (gold) VG+
$20 - Polar Bear Club - The Redder the Better (green)
$28 - Pool Kids - Pool Kids (with OBI) NM
$38 - Porter Robinson - Nuture (White) VG+
$60 - Portugal the Man - Censored Colors (2008 black press) VG+
$35 - Preston School of Industry - All This Sounds Gas VG+
$60 - Prince Daddy and the Hyena - Cosmic Thrill Seekers (half green/half purple) VG+
$8 - Procol Harum - The One and Only One (green) SEALED
$15 - Proper. - The Great American Novel (pink&evergreen splatter) SEALED
$12 - Pup - This Place Sucks A$$ (Green w pink splatter) VG++
$21 - Pup - The Dream is Over (Clear) VG++
$25 - Raquet Club - S/T (Blue/black split) vg+
$15 - Rag N Bone Man - Life by Misadventure 2xLP VG+
$24 - Rainbow Kitten Surprise - RKS SEALED
$55 - Raury - All We Need VG+
$26 - Red City Radio - To the Sons and Daughters of Woody Guthrie (yellow/red mixed vinyl with B side screen print) VG++
$19 - Red Sparrows - Aphorisms (Orange) SEALED
$60 - Reggie and the Full Effect - Inside the Dust Sleeve (180g) VG+
$15 - Reggie and the Full Effect - No Country for Old Musicians (cleagold
splatter) VG+
$20 - Remember Sports - All of Something (Carmel) SEALED
$20 - Remember Sports - Like a Stone (Peach and pink moon phase) SEALED
$10 - Remo Drive - Natural, Everyday Degradation (clear smoke) VG+
$15 - Remo Drive - A Portrait of an Ugly Man (Maroon) VG+
$18 - Restorations - S/T (white w green) VG+
$24 - Restorations - LP2 (white/green/yellow swirl) VG+
$15 - Restorations- LP3 (red/white/yellow/
black starburst) vg+
$16 - Restorations - LP5000 (white) VG+
$38 - Rival Schools - United by Fate (white/blue pinwheel) SEALED
$85 - Rival Schools - Found /250 VG++
$40 - Rival Sons - Before the Fire (orange splatter) VG+
$45 - The Rocket Summer - Do You Feel? (white) VG+
$15 - Rocky Votolato - Hospital Handshakes (black/white/light blue) SEALED
$20 - Rocky Votolato/Chuck Ragan - Kindred Spirit (white w black red splatter)
VG+
$15 - Role Model - Our Little Angel SEALED
$25 - The Routes - Dirty Needles And Pins (dysphoria swirl) VG+
$55 - Royal Coda - Compassion (Pink and Silver Smush) NM
$28 - Rufio - The Comfort of Home (Black and gold) NM
$10 - Rumer - Live from Lafayette (purple) SEALED
$22 - Run the Jewels - Run the Jewels (Orange translucent) NM
$16 - Ruth B - Moments in Between
SEALED
$39 - Saba - Few Good Things (green) VG++
$40 - Sad Night Dynamite - Sad Night Dynamite (import) SEALED
$78 - Sadistik X Kno - Bring Me Back When the World is Cured (bone w black splatter) SEALED
$12 - Saintseneca - Pillar of Na VG+
$14 - Saintseneca - Dark Arc VG+
$60 - Sam Fender - Seventeen Going Under (white marble import) SEALED
$25 - Sam Fender - Hypersonic Missiles (clear) SEALED
$15 - Sam Smith - Loves Goes SEALED
$44 - Saosin - Translating the Name (Teal) SEALED
$14 - Save Face - Merci (clear w black smoke) VG+
$20 - Save Face - Another Kill for the Highlight Reel (clear w red and black splatter) VG++
$20 - Saves the Day - 9 (black w white splatter) SEALED
$30 - Saves the Day - In Reverie (light blue/orange crush) SEALED
$28 - Saves the Day - S/T (White) VG+
$25 - Saves the Day - Sound the Alarm (black 12") VG++
$17 - Saves the Day - Under the Boards (Sea Glass) VG+
$22 - Say Anything - In Defense of the Genre UNOPENED NM
$26 - Say Anthing / Matt Pryor - Daytrotter no. 23 VG+
$28 - Screaming Females - Baby Teeth VG+
$10 - Shamir - Heterosexuality (Pink) SEALED
$10 - Shannen Moser - Oh My Heart (pink/blue) vg+
$18 - Sense Field - Killed for Less (blue) SEALED
$38 - Senses Fail - From the Depths of Dreams (Blue and White Galaxy) NM
$20 - Shannon and the Clams - year of the spider (Godstone) VG+
$25 - Shannon and the Clams - Sleep Talk (mint green) VG+
$18 - Shannon and the Clams - Dreams in the Rat House NM
$18 - Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings - 100 days, 100 nights VG+
$12 - Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings - I Learned the Hard Way VG+
$21 - Sigur Ros - Valtari 2xLP VG++
$18 - Silver Snakes - Saboteur (white) SEALED
$17 - Silversun Pickups - Widow's Weeds 2xLP NM
$20 - Sincere Engineer - Rhombithian VG+
$16 - Skatune Network - Burn the Billboard (violet) SEALED
$35 - Smino - Luv 4 Rent (Green) SEALED
$44- The Smiths - Louder Than Bombs (2011 2xLP barcode promo marked) SEALED
$30 - Soft Kill - Savior (black /1300) VG+
$50 - Soft Kill - Choke (cream dark maroon swirl) VG++
$28 - Soft Kill - Dead Kids RIP City (yellow) VG+
$80 - Soft Kill - Live at Crystal Ballroom (green) VG++
$40 - Soft Kill - Circle of Treens (pink) VG++
$30 - Soft Kill - New Age/Fatigue (yellow) NM
$13 - The Soft Moon - Criminal (orange) VG++
$16 - Solemn Brigham - South Sinner Street (brown swirl) SEALED
$18 - Son Little - Aloha (Pineapple) VG+
$20 - The Sonder Bombs - Clothbound (Silver) NM
$20 - Sorority Noise - Forgettable VG+
$175 - The Sound of Animals Fighting - Tiger and the Duke (TEST PRESS) NM
$10 - Southern Avenue - Kept On SEALED
$20 - Speak Low if you Speak Love - Nearsighted (Pink) VG+
$18 - St Vincent - Actor VG+
$18 - St Vincent - Marry Me VG+
$22 - Standards - Fruit Island (White/Blue Aside/Bside) VG Seam Split
$35 - Starting Line - With Hopes of Starting Over (Apple/Tangerine/Yellow Aside/Bside) VG++
$24 - State Champs - Around the World and Back (Black and Gold Aside/Bside w/ grey and white splatter) NM
$20 - State Champs - The Acoustic Things (White) NM
$20 - State Champs - Kings of the New Age (blue w black and bone twist) VG+
$20 - Stay Inside - Viewing (dusk) SEALED
$20 - Stolas - Allomaternal (Coke Bottle w magenta splatter) VG++
$50 - Still Woozy - If this isn't Nice
(SEALED)
$12 - Sting and Shaggy ‐ 44/876 SEALED
$30 - Strand of Oaks - In Heaven (pink SIGNED) VG+
$20 - Strand of Oaks - Eraserland (Blue and White Swirl) VG+
$10 - Strand of Oaks - Hard Love (Green and White Swirl) VG+
$12 - Strand of Oaks - Heal VG+
$40 - Strawberry Girls - Italian Ghosts (purple) NM
$8 - Stray Fossa - Closer than Well ever Know(orange)
$150 - Straylight Run - The Needles the Space VG sleeve wear
$18 - Straylight Run - Live at the Patchogue Theater SEALED
$10 - Sundowner - Neon Fiction VG+
$30 - Sunny Day Real Estate - The Rising Tide 2xlp VG+
$22 - Super American - Sup (Cloudy Yellow) VG+
$8 - Surfer Blood - Carefree Theatre (Seaglass) VG+
$20 - Surfers Blood - Covers (amber w black) VG+
$40 - Survey Says! - Observations of the
Human Condition (Henry's Hat /103) VG seam split
$10 - Swearin - Fall into the Sun (Coke bottle clear) VG+
$30 - The Swellers - The Light Under Closed Doors (yellow opaque) VG+
$30 - The Swellers - My Everest (Half Brown/Half Coke Bottle) VG+
$12 - Symmetry - The Messenger (clear) VG++
$8 - T Bone Burnett, Jay Bellerose, Keefus Ciancia - The Invisible Light SEALED
$12 - Taking Meds - Terrible News From Wonderful Men (Clear w pink and gold splatter no obi) NM
$10 - Tancred - Tancred (gold splatter) SEALED
$15 - Teenage Wrist - Chrome Neon Jesus VG++
$19 - Teen Suicide - Its the Big Joyous Celebration (gold in clear; oxblood in clear) VG+
$28 - TheiThey're/There - Three EPs (Random Color) VG+
$60 - Third Eye Blind - Out of the Vein (2xlp Army Green) SEALED
$50 - Third Eye Blind - S/T (Music on Vinyl 2xLP 180g) VG+
$20 - Third Eye Blind - Unplugged Vol 1
SEALED
$12 - Thrice - Beggars (pink/tan galaxy) NM
$110 - Thrice - The Artist in the Ambulance (Blue) VG++
$70 - Thursday - Full Collapse (mint green) VG+
$42 - Thursday - Five Stories Falling (White) NM
$70 - Thursday - Full Collapse Live (violet in clear) NM
$70 - Thursday - War all the Time Live (half black half red) NM
$22 - Tigers Jaw - Charmer (White w pink
starburst) VG+
$15 - Tigers Jaw - I Wont Care How You Remember Me (Coke Bottle Green) NM
$33 - Tigers Jaw - Spin (Yellow Tour Press) NM
$70 - Tigers Jaw - Tigers Jaw Anniversary (2018 with 7" flexi and white slip cover orange vinyl) VG+
$16 - Tim Kasher - Middling Age (White) VG+
$10 - Timeshares - Bearable NM
$20 - Tokyo Police Club - Mellon Collie and the Infinite Radness (pt 1 & 2) VG
$10 - Tomberlin - I Dont Know Who Needs
to Hear This (glow in the dark stoned) SEALED
$10 - Tommy Genesis - Goldilocks X SEALED
$20 - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - Greatest Hits (2017 remaster 2XLP) SEALED
$30 - Touché Amore - Live at WERS (Clear) VG+
$15 - Touche Amore - Live on BBC Radio 1: Vol 3 (Red) VG+
$25 - Touche Amore - Palm Dreams (Clear /200) VG++
$22 - Touche Amore - Lament (black w aqua gold splatter) VG++
$14 - Tove Lo - Bikini Porn 10" picture disc
$10 - The Tragically Hip - Saskadelphia (silver) SEALED
$22 - Trash Boat - Crown Shyness (cloudy clear w black smoke) NM
$12 - Travie McCoy - Never Slept Better (Electric Blue) SEALED
$10 - Travis - Live at Glastonbury 99' (blue) SEALED
$12 - Tunng- Turbines SEALED
$30 - Turnover - Myself in the Way (Import Orange w/ bonus 7") SEALED
$47 - Turnover - Peripheral Vision (yellow w
pink splatter) VG seam split. Vinyl in great condition!
$55 - Turnover - Peripheral Visiom (creamcicle) seam split VG+
$50 - Twin Shadow - Forget VG++
$25 - Twin Shadow - Twin Shadow (Mango [spotify]) NM
$90 - U2 - Achtung Baby 30th Anniversary (Red/Blue vinyl) NM
$15 - U2 - No Line on the Horizon 2xLP SEALED
$15 - U2 - Songs of Experience (2xLP Cyan Blue 180g) VG++
$20 - U2 - The Europa EP VG+
$40 - U2 - The Unforgettable Concert 1985 Bootleg VG
$40 - U2 - Zooropa (Gold Bootleg) VG+
$15 - Various - A Capital Christmas Volume 2 2XLP SEALED
$30 - Various - A Comp for Mom - No Sleep (Red) VG
$18 - A Charlie Brown Christmas (Gold Foil Jacket) VG++
$20 - Various - Amerikinda: 20 Years of Dualtone (camo) VG+
$10 - Various - Best From the West Vol 1 (blue note release) SEALED
$20 - Various - Black Panther the Album VG+
$13 - Various - Blade Runner: Black Locus (violet neon) VG++
$10 - Various - Dark Nights: Death Metal Soundtrack 2xLP NM
$38 - Various - David Bowie in Jazz - A Jazz Tribute to David Bowie (import) VG+
$20 - Various - Dead Formats Volume 1 (red/white/blue smash w white splatter) SEALED
$18 - Various - Disney Favorite Songs 2016 press VG++
$200 - Various - Drive Thru Records EP Box Set SEALED
$10 - Various- Disney Dumbo (picture disc) SEALED
$110 - Various - Fadeaway Records Friends Compilation (white/red/blue/yellow) 3xLP VG+
$14 - Various - Insecure Season 2 SEALED
$20 - Various - Lady Bird Soundtrack VG+
$40 - Various - Magnolia Record Club: NPR Tiny Desk (Blue Marble) VG++
$50 - Various - Magnolia Record Club: Spotify Singles (Ghostly Green Swirl) VG+
$20 - Various - Magnolia Record Club: Spotify Singles Volume 2 (Olive Splatter) SEALED
$20 - Various - Marvel's Runaways Soundtrack SEALED
$18 - Various - Master of None Season 2 (no obi) VG+
$16 - Various - Marvelous Ms Maisel Season 1 (pink) SEALED
$16 - Various - Motown 1's (Gold) VG+
$30 - Various - Say Yes! A tribute to Elliott Smith (blue) VG++
$18 - Various - Sing 2 Soundtrack VG+
$15 - Various - Songs from Cars (Pic Disc) SEALED
$18 - Various - Songs from Coco
Soundtrack (Pic disc) NM
$10 - Various Artists - The Vinyl Series vol 3 SEALED
$10 - Various - The Apollo Soundtrack SEALED
$10 - Various - Magnolia Records: The Moon River Sessions (Blue Splatter with yellow center) VG+
$70 - This Warm December: A Brushfire Holiday vol 1 (Green/Red) VG+
$12 -Various -Troll World Tour Soundtrack (clear white) VG+
$190 - Various - Welcome to the Family (Box set with slip mat 2xLP Yellow) VG+ seam split on record sleeve. Box in great
condition
$30 - Various - Whatever Nevermind [Nirvana Tribute] (Blue) NM
$15 - Various - Wish I Was Here Soundtrack VG+
$15 - Various - Yesterday Soundtrack (BLUE) SEALED
$20 - Vinnie Caruana - City by the Sea (Green) VG+
$10 - The Virginmarys - Divides (green) SEALED
$10 - Walk the Moon - Heights VG+
$35 - Walter Schreifels - An Open Letter to the Scene (green/white) VG+
$55 - War on Drugs - A Deeper Understanding 2xLP (coke bottle clear) VG+
$35 - Waterparks - Greatest Hits (2xlp Trans Blue) /800 VG+
$18 - White Denim - D NM
$10 - The White Noise - Am/Pm (white/purple/blue sky) SEALED
$16 - The Who - Live at Kingston (7" boxset 6x7" + CD) SEALED
$15 - Whitney - Spark (white with orange twist) SEALED
$20 - Worst Party Ever - Dartland (red) VG+
$32 - Wintersleep - Wintersleep (12") VG+
$20 - Wintersleep - Free fall/Fading out NM
$17 - The World is a Beautiful Place and I am no Longer Scared to Die - Illusionary Walls (clear) SEALED
$10 - The Worls is a Beautiful Place and I am no Longer Scared to Die - Always Foreign VG+
$24 - Wild Nothing - Indigo (blue smoke) SEALED
$20 - Wicca Phase Springs Eternal - Suffer On (clear w yellow green and black splatter) VG+
$32 - Wild Nothing - Life on Pause (white SIGNED) VG+
$10 - Years and Years - Night Call SEALED
$13 - Young Statues - Age Isnt Ours (white/yellow) VG+
$10 - Young Statues - Young Statues (Magenta) VG+
$10 - You Blew It! - Abendrot (blue in clear) SEALED
$20 - You Blew It! - You Blue It (blue white swirl) vg+
$13 - Yuna - Chapters SEALED
$48 - Yves Tumor - Heaven to a Tortured
Mind (Silver) VG++