Realistic female masks
Silicone Masks
2017.06.07 17:20 FrugalPants Silicone Masks
A place for people that take interest in Silicone Masks. They can be realistic or monster, but primarily realistic. Join if you take interest in them!
2013.06.10 21:29 redpillschool Red Pill Women
Welcome to the *original* Red Pill Women subreddit!
2024.05.07 09:43 Individual_Dog9366 CyberBeauties
Welcome to CyberBeauties! š Dive into a stunning showcase of AI-generated images of realistic portrayals of women. No Celebrities. These are your realistic girl next door. Join the subreddit to share your creations and discuss the evolving landscape of digital female beauty. Respect our guidelines and revel in the beauty crafted by AI.
2024.05.29 05:44 eleganseas (TW mentions of trauma and toxicity) Does this seem like someone who is trans? Has anyone experienced stuff like this?
Iāve never really posted on a forum but I just need to know if anyone else relates or has any type of insight/advice here. I will say that I have OCD, am AFAB, pansexual (20s) and I am set to see a trauma psychologist very soon.
I was very adamant with family about being seen as boys from some show but it was on and off. I remember having a crush on them but I canāt understand why I also wanted to be them. When I hit puberty I started pretending to be a guy where I felt safe enough to. I was okay to be a girl sometimes I feel like despite being unhappy with insecurities, but I had this inexplicable confidence when I was presenting myself as a guy. I am prone to both maladaptive daydreaming and dissociation, and Iāve been doing it all my life.
I had an upbringing that was extremely toxic so thereās no telling what has been pushed onto me. I have felt like a lot of the years of imagining myself as a male I both wanted to be and to be with was me trying to nurture some father wound, because I would imagine myself as a male nurturing the female version of myself, I just hardly knew her. Iāve rarely dissociated as a woman, but there are countless times where Iāll compare myself to women to see if Iām desirable in stereotypical ways.
I dated girls when I was younger and presented as a male, but part of me felt like I was so obsessed with being this cool, attractive guy that I put up a front. I felt I had to be tough and a certain way, so when I got so tired of being that, my feelings of masculinity would crumble and there was that vulnerable girl.
I chose to go by they/them, telling myself that I only wanted to be masculine presenting because I didnāt feel attractive as a woman. But somehow this desire keeps coming back. I see I have some gender dysphoria, but I keep feeling like Iām just faking everything and putting on a mask to feel better about myself.
I see my chest when I look masculine in the face and hair and I just kind of sigh but Iām not in distress. I think I would like to feel/do many things as a man, but Iām scared Iām mistaking this for something else underneath. If I couldāve been born a man I would be glad because then Iād have it all already and I guess maybe Iād be content, I donāt know. I know I feel disappointment and sadness with the idea that I possibly donāt really want to be one.
TLDR; I keep getting confused on whether me dissociating as a male character through my life is only because I find them attractive or I truly want to be male/masculine presenting. I feel different because it doesnāt always feel like my natural self, I just think I wish it was but I sometimes feel like Iām forcing.
submitted by eleganseas to asktransgender [link] [comments]
I was very adamant with family about being seen as boys from some show but it was on and off. I remember having a crush on them but I canāt understand why I also wanted to be them. When I hit puberty I started pretending to be a guy where I felt safe enough to. I was okay to be a girl sometimes I feel like despite being unhappy with insecurities, but I had this inexplicable confidence when I was presenting myself as a guy. I am prone to both maladaptive daydreaming and dissociation, and Iāve been doing it all my life.
I had an upbringing that was extremely toxic so thereās no telling what has been pushed onto me. I have felt like a lot of the years of imagining myself as a male I both wanted to be and to be with was me trying to nurture some father wound, because I would imagine myself as a male nurturing the female version of myself, I just hardly knew her. Iāve rarely dissociated as a woman, but there are countless times where Iāll compare myself to women to see if Iām desirable in stereotypical ways.
I dated girls when I was younger and presented as a male, but part of me felt like I was so obsessed with being this cool, attractive guy that I put up a front. I felt I had to be tough and a certain way, so when I got so tired of being that, my feelings of masculinity would crumble and there was that vulnerable girl.
I chose to go by they/them, telling myself that I only wanted to be masculine presenting because I didnāt feel attractive as a woman. But somehow this desire keeps coming back. I see I have some gender dysphoria, but I keep feeling like Iām just faking everything and putting on a mask to feel better about myself.
I see my chest when I look masculine in the face and hair and I just kind of sigh but Iām not in distress. I think I would like to feel/do many things as a man, but Iām scared Iām mistaking this for something else underneath. If I couldāve been born a man I would be glad because then Iād have it all already and I guess maybe Iād be content, I donāt know. I know I feel disappointment and sadness with the idea that I possibly donāt really want to be one.
TLDR; I keep getting confused on whether me dissociating as a male character through my life is only because I find them attractive or I truly want to be male/masculine presenting. I feel different because it doesnāt always feel like my natural self, I just think I wish it was but I sometimes feel like Iām forcing.
2024.05.29 04:57 75-Percent-Geek [F4A] A Trophy Wife Roleplay
So yes, I am male but I like to roleplay as a woman and imagine what life as a woman might be like. If that's weird, I understand. But, if you're interested, I've roleplayed female characters for years and I've been told I'm quite realistic and detailed.
With that out of the way, one of my fantasy scenarios is the idea of being a trophy wife. Just a woman married to a rich man (probably a man much older than me) who married me simply so I could be some arm candy. I don't mind though, because I take advantage of and enjoy the lavish lifestyle. I'd own and wear all sorts of expensive and fancy clothing. Lots of form fitting clothes and lots of heels. Me and my husband would go to galas and events and I'd wear tight revealing dresses. He'd use my looks to help get deals and such. It would be such an amazing life.
I'm thinking the husband could be something like a rich ceo, a celebrity of sorts (like an actor or musician) or maybe even some sort of sports star (or former sports star).
I have a preferred character for me to play. Her name is Jackie. She's a 25 year old woman of Latina descent. She is very feisty and sarcastic. She grew up in a small town so she's easily impressed by the fancy things in life. If you have another preference for who I'd be, I'm flexible.
We can have it so our characters have been in an established relationship already or we can start with them meeting for the first time. I love slow burn romance. Also, we can do a story where you play someone besides my husband and do a cheating story, that could be fun.
If this interests you, send me a chat and we can discuss details.
submitted by 75-Percent-Geek to Roleplay [link] [comments]
With that out of the way, one of my fantasy scenarios is the idea of being a trophy wife. Just a woman married to a rich man (probably a man much older than me) who married me simply so I could be some arm candy. I don't mind though, because I take advantage of and enjoy the lavish lifestyle. I'd own and wear all sorts of expensive and fancy clothing. Lots of form fitting clothes and lots of heels. Me and my husband would go to galas and events and I'd wear tight revealing dresses. He'd use my looks to help get deals and such. It would be such an amazing life.
I'm thinking the husband could be something like a rich ceo, a celebrity of sorts (like an actor or musician) or maybe even some sort of sports star (or former sports star).
I have a preferred character for me to play. Her name is Jackie. She's a 25 year old woman of Latina descent. She is very feisty and sarcastic. She grew up in a small town so she's easily impressed by the fancy things in life. If you have another preference for who I'd be, I'm flexible.
We can have it so our characters have been in an established relationship already or we can start with them meeting for the first time. I love slow burn romance. Also, we can do a story where you play someone besides my husband and do a cheating story, that could be fun.
If this interests you, send me a chat and we can discuss details.
2024.05.29 02:45 Simthadon My Load Order
Everyone Keeps Asking So Here You Are:
Fallout4.esm
DLCRobot.esm
DLCworkshop01.esm
DLCCoast.esm
DLCworkshop02.esm
DLCworkshop03.esm
DLCNukaWorld.esm
DLCUltraHighResolution.esm
HUDFramework.esm
ArmorKeywords.esm
SBRsFramework.esm
HiPolyFacesCompanionPlugin.esl
FFO.esm
TrueStormsFO4.esm
ExtendedWeaponSystem.esm
Endless Warfare.esm
IllumBillboardsAIO.esl
CROSS_CoA.esl
TeslaHeavyGun.esl
7 More SPECIAL points.esl
Cyber Arms.esl
Skb-MinigunsRebirth.esl
GoodneighborExpanded.esp
ODT - Raider Armors Retextured.esl
CWRaiders.esl
TCDeyes.esp
Dogs can grab player.esl
DamnApocalypse_CORE.esm
KillTips_by_tooun.esl
Natural Roads.esl
Serene Skin.esp
FIS-Naming-Weap-Armo-EN.esp
Diello_ExtraIconsForFIS.esp
Armorsmith Extended.esp
[KB-47]-INSTITUTE.esp
DamnApocalypse_Loot.esp
FFO.esp
A Forest.esp
BetterCombatZone.esp
ENBLightsHDRPatch.esp
DamnApocalypse_PowerArmor.esp
HiPolyFaces.esp
CBBE.esp
RaiderOverhaul.esp
OutcastsAndRemnants.esp
CrimeTown.esp
Wasteland Illumination.esp
GoodneighborExpanded[Patch-Crimetown].esp
Depravity.esp
AmazingFollowerTweaks.esp
Stm_DiamondCityExpansion.esp
MikeMooresMCAM.esp
CheatTerminal.esp
[KB-47]SYNTHS.esp
Goodneighbor Apartment.esp
GoodneighborExpanded[Patch-GoodneighborApartment].esp
TWH_TheWayHome.esp
CruiseShipWreck.esp
Mercenary.esp
Forced Evolution.esp
ProjectValkyrie.esp
LimaOutpost.esp
MK3_Takedown_Rifle.esp
VD_SIGMCXVirtus.esp
MW1Akilo47.esp
PKMnv.esp
MW1Mike4.esp
SPR300.esp
[XHX] Metro Exodus Stallion.esp
BF1 Animations - Double Barrel Shotgun v2.3.esp
CROSS_MojaveManhunter.esp
MK18.esp
Remington700.esp
LString_Bow.esp
AER15.esp
AAC_HoneyBadger.esp
F4NVServiceRifleRedux.esp
RPD.esp
AKeVolk.esp
M2Agency.esp
WattzLaserGun.esp
HuntingRevolver.esp
ButtonsCompanion.esp
llamaCompanionHeatherv2.esp
LeeEnfieldNo4MkI.esp
EndlessWarfareDLCFixes.esp
STREETSWEEPER.esp
(SKI-NotDave) P-5 Power Armor.esp
Ranger.esp
NAC.esp
Burst Impact Blast FX.esp
Ryan.esp
FnScar.esp
CitySurvivor.esp
Vargo52.esp
MP7.esp
OP_Workbench.esp
HK_MP5.esp
X12Plasmacaster.esp
GIAT_FAMAS.esp
Mossberg500.esp
Glock19x.esp
TEC9.esp
AX50.esp
Modern Weapon Replacer - Glock 19x FX0x01 - 10mm Pistols.esp
SigSauerP320.esp
Modern Weapon Replacer - Sig Sauer P320 M17 - Deliverer.esp
SideAim.esp
Black Widow Suit.esp
ScreenArcherMenu.esp
SettleObjExpandPack.esp
SettleObjExpandPack-AllLightShadowEnabler.esp
PhotoMode.esp
Better_Notes.esp
SBRPatch-GIAT_FAMAS_SA.esp
SBRPatch-SeeThroughScopes_SideAim_Compatibility.esp
Insignificant Object Remover.esp
Realistic Movement Speed.esp
The Eyes Of Beauty.esp
KSHairdos.esp
ChildrenOfAtomFace.esp
Stalker Suit.esp
StalkerSuit - CoA.esp
Triggermen FC.esp
Famas_Addon.esp
Faster Terminal Displays (20x).esp
Complaint of the commonwealth.esp
LostWorld.esp
Modern Military Pack.esp
VD&AO_SIG_MCX_LT.esp
ESPExplorerFO4.esp
Faster Stations.esp
Reverb and Ambiance Overhaul.esp
TrueStormsFO4-FarHarbor.esp
TrueStormsFO4-NukaWorld-FH-Compat.esp
NAC-FH.esp
NAC-NW.esp
Nac-TrueStormsFHPatch.esp
TrueStormsFO4-GlowingSeaExtraRads.esp
TrueStormsFO4-FarHarborExtraRads.esp
Vault-Tec Armor Redux - Modular Expansion & Fixes.esp
MW2022_Ghost_Mexico_Urban.esp
Rusty Face Fix.esp
nino.esp
Linglongvita.esp
TeslaHeavyAuto_LLInjector.esp
MWM4 Ultimate Redux_Warfighter_No TR_LLI.esp
Factor.esp
Factor_LLInjector.esp
AX50_LLInjector.esp
AKeVolk_LLInjector.esp
AAlpha12.esp
AAlpha12_LLI.esp
Tactical Flashlights.esp
Tactical Flashlights - Settings.esp
USP .45_by_tooun.esp
F4NV_44_Magnum.esp
SV-98.esp
PIP-Pad.esp
AzarPonytailHairstyles.esp
VGDoubleBarrel.esp
VGDoubleBarrelReplacer.esp
VaultTecSecurityReplacement.esp
VaultTec Chest Armor.esp
HoneyBadger Expansion.esp
XP-GEM.esp
AlysrazaOverlays.esp
CombatArmor_Remodel_mr.esp
Alternative Satellite World Maps.esp
VividFallout - AiO - 2k.esp
Grasslands - Healthy.esp
KSHairdosExtra.esp
EndlessWarfare_MechBots.esp
Campsite.esp
Smoke-able Cigars.esp
LooksMenu.esp
3dscopes.esp
MwOtter.esp
RRRebelArmor.esp
Toxic Raider Armour.esp
CROSS_Cybernetics.esp
CROSS_Jetpack.esp
Project Elimination - PMC Combat Suit.esp
Ev_CPA10.esp
EV_CPA10_LL.esp
GammaGunRedux.esp
[BXX] Die Hardman's mask.esp
[KB-47]-ModernVehicles-V1.4.esp
Desert Punk Raiders.esp
[MW2022] Shadow Company.esp
LeatherHood.esp
MWR_Opfor.esp
CoD MW OpFor - Minutemen.esp
MinutemenEnforcer.esp
Modern Replacer - Tape.esp
Modern Replacer - Antiseptic.esp
Modern Replacer - Blowtorch.esp
Modern Replacer - Jerry Can.esp
Modern Replacer - Cement.esp
Modern Replacer - Gears.esp
Modern Replacer - Ashtray.esp
Modern Replacer - Concrete.esp
Modern Replacer - Oil Filter.esp
Modern Replacer - Fiber Optic.esp
[KB-47]ROBOTS.esp
Robots_CR .esp
[KB-47] DC Police.esp
AVBMusket.esp
MutantBear.esp
Energy Weapon Replacer - AER15 - Institute Guns.esp
M2_Flamethrower_2.2.esp
Energy Weapon Replacer - Wattz Laser Gun - Laser Guns.esp
Modern Weapon Replacer - MP7 - Submachine Guns.esp
Modern Weapon Replacer - AnotherOne TEC-9 - Pipe Guns.esp
Modern Weapon Replacer - Service Rifle Deadpool2099 - Assault Rifles.esp
Modern Weapon Replacer - FN SCAR-H - Combat Rifles.esp
Modern Weapon Replacer - Izhmash SV-98 - Lever Action Rifles.esp
Remington700_Addon.esp
X12-PlasmaReplacer.esp
GoodneighborExpanded[Patch-Previs].esp
FFHD.esp
Addiction Overhaul.esp
Dreaded Deathclaws 4k.esp
Gloomy Glass.esp
M8rDisableCreationClub.esp
SurvivalOptions.esp
MoreEnemies.esp
Infinite Armory.esp
Infinite Armory - Brotherhood of Steel BoS.esp
dynamicHelmet.esp
NemesisStandaloneHappo.esp
Q_RagdollPhysicsNoCollision.esp
TCD.esp
TCDOverlays.esp
TCDOverlaysSET.esp
TCDM.esp
Arbitration - Better Combat AI.esp
NPC Accuracy Revised.esp
[ARRETH] FGEP-DE.esp
VeryZenFGEP_4k.esp
Project Reality Footsteps FO4.esp
Project Reality Footsteps FO4 Expansion.esp
[ETH]FGEP-AmbienceReducer.esp
[ARRETH] FGEP-DE NoKnockDown.esp
Arbitration - Stealth Overhaul.esp
Arbitration - Sneak Detection Distance Increase (Half).esp
Arbitration - Reduced Grenade Spam.esp
Arbitration - Molotov.esp
Arbitration - Farther Grenade Detection.esp
Power Armor HUD Switcher.esp
CompanionStatus-Settings.esp
CompanionStatus.esp
WmkActiveEffects.esp
ConditionBoy.esp
ImmersiveAnimationFramework.esp
IAF - Far Harbor & Nuka World.esp
War Hammer and Greatsword sets.esp
RB_AehersinEyes.esp
SF Beards N Staches.esp
TBOS-AntoHairPack.esp
ValiusHDTextures4K.esp
M8rDisablePipboyEffects.esp
1FOM_FireAxe.esp
[KB-47] Riley Dogmeat Replacer.esp
Modern Replacer - Car Battery.esp
Modern Replacer - Alarm Clock.esp
Modern Replacer - Acid.esp
Modern Replacer - Laptop.esp
Modern Replacer - Butane.esp
Modern Replacer - Hotplate.esp
VtawWardrobe8.esp
SPECIAL_Raider_Outfit.esp
Friffy_Cait Outfit_Standalone.esp
NIRogueCourser.esp
VD_SIGMCXVirtus_SA.esp
StartMeUp.esp
MAIM Distributor.esp
Hot Diggity - Maim 2 Full Patch.esp
MAIM 2 - DA Loot Module.esp
Clarity.esp
EnhancedLightsandFX.esp
AlootHomePlate.esp
Pip-Boy Flashlight.esp
PIP-Pad_Pip-BoyFlashlight.esp
LooksMenu Customization Compendium.esp
aBitPrettierBOSFaces.esp
DiscreteFemaleSkeleton.esp
PIP-Pad_LMCC.esp
MAIM 2.esp
MAIM 2 - Dismemberment Patch.esp
MAIM 2 - EZ Keywords.esp
submitted by Simthadon to u/Simthadon [link] [comments]
Fallout4.esm
DLCRobot.esm
DLCworkshop01.esm
DLCCoast.esm
DLCworkshop02.esm
DLCworkshop03.esm
DLCNukaWorld.esm
DLCUltraHighResolution.esm
HUDFramework.esm
ArmorKeywords.esm
SBRsFramework.esm
HiPolyFacesCompanionPlugin.esl
FFO.esm
TrueStormsFO4.esm
ExtendedWeaponSystem.esm
Endless Warfare.esm
IllumBillboardsAIO.esl
CROSS_CoA.esl
TeslaHeavyGun.esl
7 More SPECIAL points.esl
Cyber Arms.esl
Skb-MinigunsRebirth.esl
GoodneighborExpanded.esp
ODT - Raider Armors Retextured.esl
CWRaiders.esl
TCDeyes.esp
Dogs can grab player.esl
DamnApocalypse_CORE.esm
KillTips_by_tooun.esl
Natural Roads.esl
Serene Skin.esp
FIS-Naming-Weap-Armo-EN.esp
Diello_ExtraIconsForFIS.esp
Armorsmith Extended.esp
[KB-47]-INSTITUTE.esp
DamnApocalypse_Loot.esp
FFO.esp
A Forest.esp
BetterCombatZone.esp
ENBLightsHDRPatch.esp
DamnApocalypse_PowerArmor.esp
HiPolyFaces.esp
CBBE.esp
RaiderOverhaul.esp
OutcastsAndRemnants.esp
CrimeTown.esp
Wasteland Illumination.esp
GoodneighborExpanded[Patch-Crimetown].esp
Depravity.esp
AmazingFollowerTweaks.esp
Stm_DiamondCityExpansion.esp
MikeMooresMCAM.esp
CheatTerminal.esp
[KB-47]SYNTHS.esp
Goodneighbor Apartment.esp
GoodneighborExpanded[Patch-GoodneighborApartment].esp
TWH_TheWayHome.esp
CruiseShipWreck.esp
Mercenary.esp
Forced Evolution.esp
ProjectValkyrie.esp
LimaOutpost.esp
MK3_Takedown_Rifle.esp
VD_SIGMCXVirtus.esp
MW1Akilo47.esp
PKMnv.esp
MW1Mike4.esp
SPR300.esp
[XHX] Metro Exodus Stallion.esp
BF1 Animations - Double Barrel Shotgun v2.3.esp
CROSS_MojaveManhunter.esp
MK18.esp
Remington700.esp
LString_Bow.esp
AER15.esp
AAC_HoneyBadger.esp
F4NVServiceRifleRedux.esp
RPD.esp
AKeVolk.esp
M2Agency.esp
WattzLaserGun.esp
HuntingRevolver.esp
ButtonsCompanion.esp
llamaCompanionHeatherv2.esp
LeeEnfieldNo4MkI.esp
EndlessWarfareDLCFixes.esp
STREETSWEEPER.esp
(SKI-NotDave) P-5 Power Armor.esp
Ranger.esp
NAC.esp
Burst Impact Blast FX.esp
Ryan.esp
FnScar.esp
CitySurvivor.esp
Vargo52.esp
MP7.esp
OP_Workbench.esp
HK_MP5.esp
X12Plasmacaster.esp
GIAT_FAMAS.esp
Mossberg500.esp
Glock19x.esp
TEC9.esp
AX50.esp
Modern Weapon Replacer - Glock 19x FX0x01 - 10mm Pistols.esp
SigSauerP320.esp
Modern Weapon Replacer - Sig Sauer P320 M17 - Deliverer.esp
SideAim.esp
Black Widow Suit.esp
ScreenArcherMenu.esp
SettleObjExpandPack.esp
SettleObjExpandPack-AllLightShadowEnabler.esp
PhotoMode.esp
Better_Notes.esp
SBRPatch-GIAT_FAMAS_SA.esp
SBRPatch-SeeThroughScopes_SideAim_Compatibility.esp
Insignificant Object Remover.esp
Realistic Movement Speed.esp
The Eyes Of Beauty.esp
KSHairdos.esp
ChildrenOfAtomFace.esp
Stalker Suit.esp
StalkerSuit - CoA.esp
Triggermen FC.esp
Famas_Addon.esp
Faster Terminal Displays (20x).esp
Complaint of the commonwealth.esp
LostWorld.esp
Modern Military Pack.esp
VD&AO_SIG_MCX_LT.esp
ESPExplorerFO4.esp
Faster Stations.esp
Reverb and Ambiance Overhaul.esp
TrueStormsFO4-FarHarbor.esp
TrueStormsFO4-NukaWorld-FH-Compat.esp
NAC-FH.esp
NAC-NW.esp
Nac-TrueStormsFHPatch.esp
TrueStormsFO4-GlowingSeaExtraRads.esp
TrueStormsFO4-FarHarborExtraRads.esp
Vault-Tec Armor Redux - Modular Expansion & Fixes.esp
MW2022_Ghost_Mexico_Urban.esp
Rusty Face Fix.esp
nino.esp
Linglongvita.esp
TeslaHeavyAuto_LLInjector.esp
MWM4 Ultimate Redux_Warfighter_No TR_LLI.esp
Factor.esp
Factor_LLInjector.esp
AX50_LLInjector.esp
AKeVolk_LLInjector.esp
AAlpha12.esp
AAlpha12_LLI.esp
Tactical Flashlights.esp
Tactical Flashlights - Settings.esp
USP .45_by_tooun.esp
F4NV_44_Magnum.esp
SV-98.esp
PIP-Pad.esp
AzarPonytailHairstyles.esp
VGDoubleBarrel.esp
VGDoubleBarrelReplacer.esp
VaultTecSecurityReplacement.esp
VaultTec Chest Armor.esp
HoneyBadger Expansion.esp
XP-GEM.esp
AlysrazaOverlays.esp
CombatArmor_Remodel_mr.esp
Alternative Satellite World Maps.esp
VividFallout - AiO - 2k.esp
Grasslands - Healthy.esp
KSHairdosExtra.esp
EndlessWarfare_MechBots.esp
Campsite.esp
Smoke-able Cigars.esp
LooksMenu.esp
3dscopes.esp
MwOtter.esp
RRRebelArmor.esp
Toxic Raider Armour.esp
CROSS_Cybernetics.esp
CROSS_Jetpack.esp
Project Elimination - PMC Combat Suit.esp
Ev_CPA10.esp
EV_CPA10_LL.esp
GammaGunRedux.esp
[BXX] Die Hardman's mask.esp
[KB-47]-ModernVehicles-V1.4.esp
Desert Punk Raiders.esp
[MW2022] Shadow Company.esp
LeatherHood.esp
MWR_Opfor.esp
CoD MW OpFor - Minutemen.esp
MinutemenEnforcer.esp
Modern Replacer - Tape.esp
Modern Replacer - Antiseptic.esp
Modern Replacer - Blowtorch.esp
Modern Replacer - Jerry Can.esp
Modern Replacer - Cement.esp
Modern Replacer - Gears.esp
Modern Replacer - Ashtray.esp
Modern Replacer - Concrete.esp
Modern Replacer - Oil Filter.esp
Modern Replacer - Fiber Optic.esp
[KB-47]ROBOTS.esp
Robots_CR .esp
[KB-47] DC Police.esp
AVBMusket.esp
MutantBear.esp
Energy Weapon Replacer - AER15 - Institute Guns.esp
M2_Flamethrower_2.2.esp
Energy Weapon Replacer - Wattz Laser Gun - Laser Guns.esp
Modern Weapon Replacer - MP7 - Submachine Guns.esp
Modern Weapon Replacer - AnotherOne TEC-9 - Pipe Guns.esp
Modern Weapon Replacer - Service Rifle Deadpool2099 - Assault Rifles.esp
Modern Weapon Replacer - FN SCAR-H - Combat Rifles.esp
Modern Weapon Replacer - Izhmash SV-98 - Lever Action Rifles.esp
Remington700_Addon.esp
X12-PlasmaReplacer.esp
GoodneighborExpanded[Patch-Previs].esp
FFHD.esp
Addiction Overhaul.esp
Dreaded Deathclaws 4k.esp
Gloomy Glass.esp
M8rDisableCreationClub.esp
SurvivalOptions.esp
MoreEnemies.esp
Infinite Armory.esp
Infinite Armory - Brotherhood of Steel BoS.esp
dynamicHelmet.esp
NemesisStandaloneHappo.esp
Q_RagdollPhysicsNoCollision.esp
TCD.esp
TCDOverlays.esp
TCDOverlaysSET.esp
TCDM.esp
Arbitration - Better Combat AI.esp
NPC Accuracy Revised.esp
[ARRETH] FGEP-DE.esp
VeryZenFGEP_4k.esp
Project Reality Footsteps FO4.esp
Project Reality Footsteps FO4 Expansion.esp
[ETH]FGEP-AmbienceReducer.esp
[ARRETH] FGEP-DE NoKnockDown.esp
Arbitration - Stealth Overhaul.esp
Arbitration - Sneak Detection Distance Increase (Half).esp
Arbitration - Reduced Grenade Spam.esp
Arbitration - Molotov.esp
Arbitration - Farther Grenade Detection.esp
Power Armor HUD Switcher.esp
CompanionStatus-Settings.esp
CompanionStatus.esp
WmkActiveEffects.esp
ConditionBoy.esp
ImmersiveAnimationFramework.esp
IAF - Far Harbor & Nuka World.esp
War Hammer and Greatsword sets.esp
RB_AehersinEyes.esp
SF Beards N Staches.esp
TBOS-AntoHairPack.esp
ValiusHDTextures4K.esp
M8rDisablePipboyEffects.esp
1FOM_FireAxe.esp
[KB-47] Riley Dogmeat Replacer.esp
Modern Replacer - Car Battery.esp
Modern Replacer - Alarm Clock.esp
Modern Replacer - Acid.esp
Modern Replacer - Laptop.esp
Modern Replacer - Butane.esp
Modern Replacer - Hotplate.esp
VtawWardrobe8.esp
SPECIAL_Raider_Outfit.esp
Friffy_Cait Outfit_Standalone.esp
NIRogueCourser.esp
VD_SIGMCXVirtus_SA.esp
StartMeUp.esp
MAIM Distributor.esp
Hot Diggity - Maim 2 Full Patch.esp
MAIM 2 - DA Loot Module.esp
Clarity.esp
EnhancedLightsandFX.esp
AlootHomePlate.esp
Pip-Boy Flashlight.esp
PIP-Pad_Pip-BoyFlashlight.esp
LooksMenu Customization Compendium.esp
aBitPrettierBOSFaces.esp
DiscreteFemaleSkeleton.esp
PIP-Pad_LMCC.esp
MAIM 2.esp
MAIM 2 - Dismemberment Patch.esp
MAIM 2 - EZ Keywords.esp
2024.05.29 02:25 LadyTelaAzul2 Things that would improve FB's writing (HIRE ME)
Not counting branching, cause that's the bare bare... baaaaaaaaaare minimum.
1- CONSISTENCY.
S8's main problem. S5's consistently abusive, S6's consistently about Amelia, S7's consistently boring... but S8?
Like I've pointed MANY TIMES... talk about setting up MAJOR plot points with lots of potential to create GOOD DRAMA and CHARACTER MOMENTS... only to drop them and come up with the most stupid, nonsensical and random conclusion of all time. The most notable ones being Bea twisting with Liam in Casa and... Theo and Claudia. FB needs to commit to the plot point instead of focusing on creating stupid, cheap and fake tension.
I can also point inconsistent writing from S6 and 7. Amelia couple hopping, not feeling ANYBODY, being with Tobes for 2 DAYS... and still being runner up with THAT TRACK RECORD.
Grace seeing Ozzy let her down multiple times, being told by MC that she can do better than that... and STILL picking him, being picked by him.... and ACCEPTING HIS CONFESSION.
MC telling Travis/Vicky MULTIPLE times she's not interested and... well...
MC spending time with one boy ALL THE TIME in Casa only to pick another boy... but the previous boy forgets abou the time MC spent with him... and the new boy WORSHIPS MC even tho she didn't spend a second with him during Casa.
2- SIDE CHARACTERS.
This is a reality show about romance and friendships. There is absolutely NO REASON for everything to be about MC.... there is absolutely no reason for almost everyone worshipping MC... there is absolutely no reason for MC's couple to be the only one that ACTUALLY has a chance of winning.
Side characters matter... they should fight each other, bond with each other, talk with each other. Not every drama needs to be about MC, not every gossip has to be told to MC... the characters should be able to have a spotlight moment and a personality without MC's presence.
3- PACING.
S7 and 8's main problem.
You can absolutely make a short story.... if you pace that shit properly.
S7 shoves the final recoupling in your face and you barely get to do anything after Casa... there was ONE RECOUPLING... RIGHT AFTER THE SITCK OR TWIST... it made... NO FUCKING SENSE.
S8 has a lot of poorly introduced LIs and MC can barely spend time with them (Logan, Hari, Tyler), poorly paced slow burns (Theo)... the second half was some of the worst pacing I've ever seen from FB... post Casa SUCKED.
There's always ONE poorly written and poorly paced forbidden love route...
S6 has Ozzy and Marshall.
S7 has Joyo/Bryson. (TERRIBLY WRITTEN)
S8 has Theo and Hari (Also terribly written)
4- FLAWED CHARACTERS.
Character developmente is fundamental when it comes to romance, and seeing how flawless and worshipped MC is... ALWAYS pisses me off!! Tell me why Sophie/Luna can be delulu, Claudia can be confused... but MC never does something wrong!! And the fact that the flawed characters don't have arcs? What happened to making Sophie/Luna like MC? What happened to making Liam learn from his mistakes? What happened to making Grace realize Ozzy's a piece of shit?!
5- FRIENDSHIPS
MC simply can't have a bestie... if the closed off boy doesn't worship her... he becomes that terrible slow burn route, same for the female islander who just becomes the poorly written rival.
Is it so hard to repeat S1 and give us something like Mason/Levi being kind and respectful to MC, withoit flirting so much, after she deals with her LI cheating on her? Is it so hard to repeat S2 and give us a nice friendship like Hope, Chelsea, Pryia, Gary, Lottie, Bobby? Is it si hard to make someone be our besti by default? That was the best part of S3.
MC does not need to be the Queen Bee of the Villa 24/7, and the side characters should bond with each other, like.... that would've made S8's recouplings suck less...MC's not the only fucking contestant.
6- REALISTIC ROMANCE AND OTHER TROPES.
Pls... stop making every LI WORSHIP MC like she was some type of goddess... be a little more realistic, cause I'm not gonna be interested in you all the time... same for you... we're not fucking soulmates and it's not love at first sight... u don't even know me.
Take some fucking time to develop that romance/friendship cause... it makes no sense for someone to worship me after knowing me for 2 minutes!! Why's MC's romance always so fucking perfect? Make them argue, fight, disagree... IDK, JUST WRITE SOME OBSTACLE THEY HAVE TO OVERCOME SO THEY CAN GROW AS A COUPLE.
And thoses terribly written Forbidden Love routes? Everything would be resolved with a nice, adult conversation. Ozzy should've been honest with Grace, Theo needed to grow a fucking backbone... same for Claudia... that shit just drags for SO LONG IT'S NOT EVEN WORTH THE WAIT!!
7- MAKE MULTIDIMENSIONAL VILLAINS.
Do you remember Allegra? Jen? Lottie? Priya (When she steals our LI) ? They are flawed characters who go trough some great character developmente and the best part.... if we're nice to them... they warm up to us... if we act like a bitch, they'll have a reason to dislike us!! That's what makes a good villain!! Their motivations!!
Ivy, OG delulu girl, Jack/Jin, Luna/Sophie/Emel, Sienna have one thing in common... they don't have a reason/have a bullshit reason to be nasty towards MC.... and they don't have a personality aside from *I hate MC*.... they're just.... MC's rival, and without MC... they're nothing!! At leats Jack/Jin, Luna/Sophie/Emel had their couple problems... but Sienna? Girl's character revolved around MC and OG LI 24/7!!
submitted by LadyTelaAzul2 to fuseboxgames [link] [comments]
1- CONSISTENCY.
S8's main problem. S5's consistently abusive, S6's consistently about Amelia, S7's consistently boring... but S8?
Like I've pointed MANY TIMES... talk about setting up MAJOR plot points with lots of potential to create GOOD DRAMA and CHARACTER MOMENTS... only to drop them and come up with the most stupid, nonsensical and random conclusion of all time. The most notable ones being Bea twisting with Liam in Casa and... Theo and Claudia. FB needs to commit to the plot point instead of focusing on creating stupid, cheap and fake tension.
I can also point inconsistent writing from S6 and 7. Amelia couple hopping, not feeling ANYBODY, being with Tobes for 2 DAYS... and still being runner up with THAT TRACK RECORD.
Grace seeing Ozzy let her down multiple times, being told by MC that she can do better than that... and STILL picking him, being picked by him.... and ACCEPTING HIS CONFESSION.
MC telling Travis/Vicky MULTIPLE times she's not interested and... well...
MC spending time with one boy ALL THE TIME in Casa only to pick another boy... but the previous boy forgets abou the time MC spent with him... and the new boy WORSHIPS MC even tho she didn't spend a second with him during Casa.
2- SIDE CHARACTERS.
This is a reality show about romance and friendships. There is absolutely NO REASON for everything to be about MC.... there is absolutely no reason for almost everyone worshipping MC... there is absolutely no reason for MC's couple to be the only one that ACTUALLY has a chance of winning.
Side characters matter... they should fight each other, bond with each other, talk with each other. Not every drama needs to be about MC, not every gossip has to be told to MC... the characters should be able to have a spotlight moment and a personality without MC's presence.
3- PACING.
S7 and 8's main problem.
You can absolutely make a short story.... if you pace that shit properly.
S7 shoves the final recoupling in your face and you barely get to do anything after Casa... there was ONE RECOUPLING... RIGHT AFTER THE SITCK OR TWIST... it made... NO FUCKING SENSE.
S8 has a lot of poorly introduced LIs and MC can barely spend time with them (Logan, Hari, Tyler), poorly paced slow burns (Theo)... the second half was some of the worst pacing I've ever seen from FB... post Casa SUCKED.
There's always ONE poorly written and poorly paced forbidden love route...
S6 has Ozzy and Marshall.
S7 has Joyo/Bryson. (TERRIBLY WRITTEN)
S8 has Theo and Hari (Also terribly written)
4- FLAWED CHARACTERS.
Character developmente is fundamental when it comes to romance, and seeing how flawless and worshipped MC is... ALWAYS pisses me off!! Tell me why Sophie/Luna can be delulu, Claudia can be confused... but MC never does something wrong!! And the fact that the flawed characters don't have arcs? What happened to making Sophie/Luna like MC? What happened to making Liam learn from his mistakes? What happened to making Grace realize Ozzy's a piece of shit?!
5- FRIENDSHIPS
MC simply can't have a bestie... if the closed off boy doesn't worship her... he becomes that terrible slow burn route, same for the female islander who just becomes the poorly written rival.
Is it so hard to repeat S1 and give us something like Mason/Levi being kind and respectful to MC, withoit flirting so much, after she deals with her LI cheating on her? Is it so hard to repeat S2 and give us a nice friendship like Hope, Chelsea, Pryia, Gary, Lottie, Bobby? Is it si hard to make someone be our besti by default? That was the best part of S3.
MC does not need to be the Queen Bee of the Villa 24/7, and the side characters should bond with each other, like.... that would've made S8's recouplings suck less...MC's not the only fucking contestant.
6- REALISTIC ROMANCE AND OTHER TROPES.
Pls... stop making every LI WORSHIP MC like she was some type of goddess... be a little more realistic, cause I'm not gonna be interested in you all the time... same for you... we're not fucking soulmates and it's not love at first sight... u don't even know me.
Take some fucking time to develop that romance/friendship cause... it makes no sense for someone to worship me after knowing me for 2 minutes!! Why's MC's romance always so fucking perfect? Make them argue, fight, disagree... IDK, JUST WRITE SOME OBSTACLE THEY HAVE TO OVERCOME SO THEY CAN GROW AS A COUPLE.
And thoses terribly written Forbidden Love routes? Everything would be resolved with a nice, adult conversation. Ozzy should've been honest with Grace, Theo needed to grow a fucking backbone... same for Claudia... that shit just drags for SO LONG IT'S NOT EVEN WORTH THE WAIT!!
7- MAKE MULTIDIMENSIONAL VILLAINS.
Do you remember Allegra? Jen? Lottie? Priya (When she steals our LI) ? They are flawed characters who go trough some great character developmente and the best part.... if we're nice to them... they warm up to us... if we act like a bitch, they'll have a reason to dislike us!! That's what makes a good villain!! Their motivations!!
Ivy, OG delulu girl, Jack/Jin, Luna/Sophie/Emel, Sienna have one thing in common... they don't have a reason/have a bullshit reason to be nasty towards MC.... and they don't have a personality aside from *I hate MC*.... they're just.... MC's rival, and without MC... they're nothing!! At leats Jack/Jin, Luna/Sophie/Emel had their couple problems... but Sienna? Girl's character revolved around MC and OG LI 24/7!!
2024.05.29 02:23 Yanpretman New LO - Suggestions and tips on LO welcome!
 | So far, so stable - no major stutters, everything seems stable enough far! submitted by Yanpretman to Fallout4ModsXB1 [link] [comments] TOPPERS: (mods that force themselves to the top) Unofficial Fallout 4 Patch You and what Army 2 HUDFramework Workshop Framework ECO + NEO All DLCS MERGED Legendary Effect Overhaul [SMM] Settlement Menu Manager Plenty āoā exploration Capped Out ā A Loot and level Minutemen Edits HUD: Immersive HUD (iHUD) FOV 100 Overhauls: Seventy-Six Weathers Commonwealth Warfare ā Realistic gun Sounds Commonwealth Warfare ā Explosions Modern UI Sounds Settler and Companion Dialogue Overhaul Settler And Companion Dialogue Overhaul LITE (fixes radiant crap and bugs) Building additions: More Fortifications (Xbox) Commonwealth Caps - Xbox KCoreās Simple ā Missed Settlement Objects Kcoreās Simple ā Filled Workbenches Kcoreās Simple - Cash register Kcoreās Simple - Bunk Beds Kcoreās Simple - Clinic Beds Do It Yourshelf Updated Quaz Craftables The Master Plan The cabin in the woods Box Houses Guard Tower Red Rocket Reborn Alternate power sources Minutemen Morale Pack Miscellaneous Settlement Items Workshop Decorations Pack Full [XB1} Weapon Wall Racks Workshop Turret Pack Alternate Guard Sources XB1 Cooking 101 Cooking 101: Far Harbor Body & Settlers Overhauls: Icebreaker Settlements ā Settler Lots More Female Hairstyles Lots More Male Hairstyles Settlers Extended (Standard) Weapons & Animations: Tactical Reload - Framework (755b) See through Scopes Pip-Boy 2000 (disabled when doing a Vault survivor run) Pipboyflashlight (see above) Pip-Boy 2000 flashlight fix (See above) West-Tek Optics Pack The Attachment Pack Glock 19x (1k Textures) SV-98 with Damage Modifiers Hyper Merge #3 Running with Hands Animations Shotgun and Rifles Tactical animations Onyās Standalone Run/Jog animations F1 3rd person Idle - Friendly CQB sidearm Training VRP - Bundle VRP - Hunting rifle Double Action Revolver Reanimated Stronger Lasers Smokeable Cigars and cigarettes Immersive Animation Framework Armor: More Clothes Textures CoMa ā Commonwealth Mashups The Commonwealth Camper Upgradeable Vault suit Vault Suits redone Kellogās Plate Armor Nextgen CC VSult Minutemen Enforcer Armor + patch Vault Leather Outfit Vault Tourist Outfit K9 harness Settlements: Caravan and Guards Rich Vendors+ [Complete] Another Pine Forest Taffington Fishing Pier Move-in Ready: Somerville Farm Do you D*** Job Codsworth Scavengerās Apartment Scavengerās Settlement (XB1) Makeshift Homes Nahant Bar and Grille Roadside Pines Motel Home plate Exterior Norespawns ā Tenpines Bluff Norespawns - Nordhagen Wall Norespawns - Abernathy wall Norespawns - Junk Sanctuary Wall NoRespawns ā Home Plate NoRespawns ā Murkwater Construction Site NoRespawns ā Red Rocket Truck Stop NoRespawns ā Repaired Jamaica Plain Norespawns ā Repaired Croup Manor NoRespawns ā Repaired + Cleaned Starlight Better Drumlin Diner 2.0.0 Railroad Safehouse Bunker Hill General Atomics Galleria and Bowling Alley Bunker Hill Revamp Diamond City Outskirts (The Hole) Diamond City Plus Broadway Diner Settlement The Castle 3.0 Project Apocalyptic Commonwealth BUILDING: Scrap Everything ā Ultimate edition Brute Force Scrapper Place Anywhere {XB1} Building Budget Extender Commonwealth GECK: Take back the Commonwealth Conquest ā Build New Settlements Misc Overhauls and usables: (Misc mods and mods that request being put near the bottom) Less Vertibird Encounters Standard SKK Workshop Ownership Utilities SKK Dynamic Damage Manager Cheat Terminal Faster Enemy Respawn Automatron Unlocked Skip DiMAās Puzzles In-game Third Person Camera NPCās Travel Simply better Sneaking Start Me Up Redux - Vanilla Dialogue Prompts Workshop Framework ā Script Override Amazing Follower Tweaks FO4 (bottom) Issues encountered so far: - Combination of The Hole and Caravan and Guards make Diamond city a lot more interesting, but has issues crashing on entering interiors (not a lot, but save to be sure) - Combination of Do your *** Job Codsworth and Norespawns - Sanctuary home gives a bit of a freaky texture on the floor, but nothing too off-putting - Tactical Framework - I don't know what it is with this mod, but i have to download the DLC version first, load the game, then exit and disable to allow my dlc guns to reload before the clip is empty, idk why - Theres a bit of stuff you have to do with holo's at the start right away, such as SKK dynamic (xp modifier), NPC's travel, Do it yourshelf, Start me Up Redux, IHud, in-game camera config (the most important one)- its all worth it, but you do need to set some stuff up before you can fully enjoy the game. Please let me know what you guys think, or any mods that seem a perfect fit in this LO! |
2024.05.29 02:20 rolling_loud_25 going back to school.
hi, Iām 21 female and I graduated high school in 2020 I barely got a graduation because of Covid. 11th and my senior year of high school I was very into drugs and hanging with the wrong crowd. I took a year and a half break after graduating and I went to eight months Bose program to become a nail technician (not a realistic job) I stuck with it for the eight months, but never took the test to get certified now fast forward to now iām thinking about going back to school but Iām not sure what interests me.
I was talking to my sister-in-law and she told me her friend who is the dean for the college and he offered to sit down and speak with me to see what things interest me he also said that he is running a two year program for drug and addiction counselor and it is paid by grant. Does anybody have any advice on what to do?
ALSO CURRENTLY WORKING ABOUT 32-39 HOURS a WEEK AS A Barista as well
ALSSOOOO wouldnāt it be ironic that I would end up as a drug and addiction counselorš lol
submitted by rolling_loud_25 to Advice [link] [comments]
I was talking to my sister-in-law and she told me her friend who is the dean for the college and he offered to sit down and speak with me to see what things interest me he also said that he is running a two year program for drug and addiction counselor and it is paid by grant. Does anybody have any advice on what to do?
ALSO CURRENTLY WORKING ABOUT 32-39 HOURS a WEEK AS A Barista as well
ALSSOOOO wouldnāt it be ironic that I would end up as a drug and addiction counselorš lol
2024.05.29 01:41 Blockchain-TEMU Living Will Rough Notes 1
- I wish to become FTM for the duration of my naturally not externally ended life but retain female internal gentials and recover my female genitals if I never use my FTM gentials to get somebody pregnant, then they were unused dildo so recover 1.1. I wish to sell my spaceballs wearable display when I die and get compact vufine wearable display equivalent both of them the spaceballs display to Justin beiber from 503-4 after I have used them for pay for my next life 1.1.1 I am Hake McMiller Joe Daraven (Whiskey-3) originally Violet Rose Parr (Sister-2) 1.1.2 If I use my FTM gentials by getting a bitch knocked up beyond just touching them myself in my room I have to keep them but I never lose my cervix or vagina but lose both ovaries internally either way 1.1.3 I wish to be cured of stage 5 superaids and extract renew without a gas mask and have a pipes rack in the room and some Roommates: Jack Caughlin from Mexico, Joe Renshaw from Kosovo, Billy Ievan From the Side of the Road and His Friend, Tanker Joe From Israel and bang my roommates when I am back here and not extracted with a gas mask 1.1.4 I wish for a 40500BTC wallet which I already have but Joe Renshaw from Kosovo needs to get to me 1.1.5 I am not allowed to make hot coffee or other sex minigames in my starlink or I have to keep my FTM gentials and cannot master seargant just because there is no field operation just SHADOW/DELTA network security base to do in operation1.1.6 Somebody made me beta suicine so I need to walk again and my mike had a heart attack so I need a new sofa 1.1.7 There is my left brain lord baby jace in the shower who has been roaming outside my right brain me 1.1.8 I had invented agua substantial los no meurtos and forgot and this seems dangerous and should be replaced with estrogen estradiol 10mg 10mg 1.1.9 Mark Zuckerberg was here and exposed to agua substantia los no meurtos 1.2.0 I have extracted to my domicile successfully so am at the bathing beauties suite room 404-4 in my portable domicile which is a whole floor of itself in the portable domicile and wish to stay here until the spaceballs wear off and transfer then the spaceballs to beiber and not have dots vision or whatever but my natural 30/20 vufine vision with coluracetam colors and my brother nate should take off his spaceballs at the same time to exit cod 2023 and get a new lenovo instead of freeze dried cod bracelet 1.2.1 Somebody gave me the wrong lenovo bracelet, this is sydneys minecraft bracelet for accessing platform 9 3/4 from the janitor's closet, I needed a Blueberry PC bracelet!
2024.05.29 01:15 LateToTheGoodThreads Ending 3 year Haram Relationship
Assalam Alikum,
I am currently in college. Raised from a Muslim family with great loving parents alhamdullilah. Towards the beginning of my teenage years I slipped away from Islam but never totally. I always have called myself a Muslim.
3 years ago I started a haram relationship with a Christian female although she didn't practice. I went off to college with her and I spent 2 years with her. We got really close and had little to no problems. This was a secret I kept from my parents because I knew both of them would disapprove extremely (rightfully so). Over the summer it would be a struggle to see her since I would have to lie to my parents about what I was doing. Her parents knew about me and loved me.
These past 6 months I started to become more religious again, becoming consistent with my 5 daily prayers as well as tahhajud. I read Quran during Ramadan and made dua as much as I could. Because of this, I began to feel doubts about my relationship and the lies I had been telling my parents. She always knew about this problem and how I didn't know this would end or continue. I spoke to her about this and how I was not sure about telling my parents later in the future as well as my worry about our religious differences.
We agreed to end it, but I am still so lost and deeply saddened. I prayed tahajjud and plan to pray istikhara as well. After some thought I think it best we part ways. Although, in 2 years, when I InshAllah graduate, I want to reflect upon where I am religiously and marriage wise. If I still have not found anyone/miss her and same with her, I would ask her to convert only if she was serious about it (I know she is somewhat open about this). I would also discuss with my parents about this make and it halal. Despite this, I am still unsure if they would accept due to cultural differences. (Southasian Family).
Is this a realistic idea? Am I only thinking this because I miss her extremely? It has been so hard keeping my feelings canned up infront of my family. I resort to praying and making dua as much as I can.
May Allah Swt bless you all.
submitted by LateToTheGoodThreads to islam [link] [comments]
I am currently in college. Raised from a Muslim family with great loving parents alhamdullilah. Towards the beginning of my teenage years I slipped away from Islam but never totally. I always have called myself a Muslim.
3 years ago I started a haram relationship with a Christian female although she didn't practice. I went off to college with her and I spent 2 years with her. We got really close and had little to no problems. This was a secret I kept from my parents because I knew both of them would disapprove extremely (rightfully so). Over the summer it would be a struggle to see her since I would have to lie to my parents about what I was doing. Her parents knew about me and loved me.
These past 6 months I started to become more religious again, becoming consistent with my 5 daily prayers as well as tahhajud. I read Quran during Ramadan and made dua as much as I could. Because of this, I began to feel doubts about my relationship and the lies I had been telling my parents. She always knew about this problem and how I didn't know this would end or continue. I spoke to her about this and how I was not sure about telling my parents later in the future as well as my worry about our religious differences.
We agreed to end it, but I am still so lost and deeply saddened. I prayed tahajjud and plan to pray istikhara as well. After some thought I think it best we part ways. Although, in 2 years, when I InshAllah graduate, I want to reflect upon where I am religiously and marriage wise. If I still have not found anyone/miss her and same with her, I would ask her to convert only if she was serious about it (I know she is somewhat open about this). I would also discuss with my parents about this make and it halal. Despite this, I am still unsure if they would accept due to cultural differences. (Southasian Family).
Is this a realistic idea? Am I only thinking this because I miss her extremely? It has been so hard keeping my feelings canned up infront of my family. I resort to praying and making dua as much as I can.
May Allah Swt bless you all.
2024.05.28 23:11 Nessabee87 The Secret Treasure of Mad Jack Hawkins: A Wildemount Campaign set on the Menagerie Coast.
Hi all! So my party recently finished my pirate treasure hunt campaign that we had been playing for the past year and a half, and I'd like to share it with folks in case anyone wants to run something similar. It's pretty hodgepodge, honestly, as I took from different sources, but it sends the players all around the coast!
It starts out with the Tides of Retribution story. I was watching the Realmsmith Wildemount campaign and took stuff from there as a jumping off point, as I had never DMed a campaign by myself before. The party accompanied Three Earrings back to Darktow to sell the Rod of Retribution. I happened to have a Palladin in my party, so I had Three Earrings get in touch with a contact from the Library of the Cobalt Soul to acquire the rod. This way, the party knew it was going to be in good hands and safe from evil doers.
I had the party set out with Alyson Paij to investigate some strangeness on Twinward Isle. As in the Realmsmith campaign, they were accompanied by a female Drow Elf named Jana as an envoy of the Plank King. I followed their Twinward Isle adventure fairly closely, but branched away from the Realmsmith campaign after that. On the way back to the ship, the party had earned Jana's trust and respect, and she revealed a secret to them. I had her frequently glancing at a piece of paper throughout, and she eventually reveals it to the party.
Not long ago, she had acquired this strange page of verse and believed it to be a clue to uncovering the legendary treasure hoard of Mad Jack Hawkins. Mad Jack and his crew of the Umbre Djinn disappeared some 40 years ago and no one had found his legendary treasure hoard. Jana is fairly sure that one of the items among the treasure hoard is a Luxon Beacon, which she wants to retrieve and take back to her people. She only told the party that she believes the treasure contains an important relic for her people and that if the party helps her find the treasure, they can take everything else for themselves.
The page of verse reads as follows:
"Near cliffs and jungle you will find What treasures I have left behind. A bone, a key, a ring, a hook Will show where lies the things I took
Snakes of flesh and snakes of stone Will lead you to the serpent's bones And when ye have won the fight The bone will give you crucial sight
Eyes that sing and hand that sees Is where to find the treasure's key The key fits only in the lock Underneath the mighty rock
The ring on my beloved's hand Will tell you where you need to stand The hook is for the very brave As I will take it to my grave"
On the way back to Darktow, their ship came into a storm and caused some damage, leading them to make a stop in Brokenbank. This is where I started to incorporate content from Ghosts of Saltmarsh. I set up for the party to do the Salvage Operation quest here while repairs were made to the ship.
Upon returning to Darktow with the mysterious tortle Ynil they freed from the Twinward Isle dungeon, Ynil decided she didn't want to be there and turned into an albatross and flew away. From there, the party is sent by the Plank King to try to find her again. She flew away due east, so they headed in the direction of Urukayxl, once again accompanied by Jana.
I built Jana like a PC, partly because I wanted a 5th character that could be played if a friend of ours wanted to play with us when he was in town, and partly because I wanted a Swiss Army knife of a character that the players could use as they see fit and fill any gaps that the party happened to have. I gave her 3 levels of Arcane Trickster Rogue and 2 levels in Warlock. I eventually picked up Mask of Many Faces and gave her a Celestial Patron (a unicorn!) so she'd have access to some Cleric spells. She ended up with a ridiculous amount of spells at her disposal, some which the party actually used, lol.
The verse about snakes of flesh and snakes of stone refers to Urukayxl and the Yaun-ti who live there. There is also a sacred temple to Zehir in which Uk'otoa is sealed. Ynil headed there in order to free Uk-otoa herself. It's also the place the party needs to go to retrieve the "bone". Urukayxl itself I made with lots of potential encounters. Swarms of stirges, assassin vines, kamadan, giant crocodile, Yaun-ti Pureblood, and lizard folk. With the lizard folk, they encounter a lizard folk village where they only speak Dragonborn, but they do it with a very heavily accented dialect. I happened to have 2 Dragonborn in my party, so they were able to communicate and ally themselves with the lizard folk against the Yuan-ti.
The temple to Zehir, I designed as a large spiral shaped like a cobra with the head in the very center. I can describe the dungeon in more detail in my next post as this one's getting a bit lengthy.
submitted by Nessabee87 to Wildemount [link] [comments]
It starts out with the Tides of Retribution story. I was watching the Realmsmith Wildemount campaign and took stuff from there as a jumping off point, as I had never DMed a campaign by myself before. The party accompanied Three Earrings back to Darktow to sell the Rod of Retribution. I happened to have a Palladin in my party, so I had Three Earrings get in touch with a contact from the Library of the Cobalt Soul to acquire the rod. This way, the party knew it was going to be in good hands and safe from evil doers.
I had the party set out with Alyson Paij to investigate some strangeness on Twinward Isle. As in the Realmsmith campaign, they were accompanied by a female Drow Elf named Jana as an envoy of the Plank King. I followed their Twinward Isle adventure fairly closely, but branched away from the Realmsmith campaign after that. On the way back to the ship, the party had earned Jana's trust and respect, and she revealed a secret to them. I had her frequently glancing at a piece of paper throughout, and she eventually reveals it to the party.
Not long ago, she had acquired this strange page of verse and believed it to be a clue to uncovering the legendary treasure hoard of Mad Jack Hawkins. Mad Jack and his crew of the Umbre Djinn disappeared some 40 years ago and no one had found his legendary treasure hoard. Jana is fairly sure that one of the items among the treasure hoard is a Luxon Beacon, which she wants to retrieve and take back to her people. She only told the party that she believes the treasure contains an important relic for her people and that if the party helps her find the treasure, they can take everything else for themselves.
The page of verse reads as follows:
"Near cliffs and jungle you will find What treasures I have left behind. A bone, a key, a ring, a hook Will show where lies the things I took
Snakes of flesh and snakes of stone Will lead you to the serpent's bones And when ye have won the fight The bone will give you crucial sight
Eyes that sing and hand that sees Is where to find the treasure's key The key fits only in the lock Underneath the mighty rock
The ring on my beloved's hand Will tell you where you need to stand The hook is for the very brave As I will take it to my grave"
On the way back to Darktow, their ship came into a storm and caused some damage, leading them to make a stop in Brokenbank. This is where I started to incorporate content from Ghosts of Saltmarsh. I set up for the party to do the Salvage Operation quest here while repairs were made to the ship.
Upon returning to Darktow with the mysterious tortle Ynil they freed from the Twinward Isle dungeon, Ynil decided she didn't want to be there and turned into an albatross and flew away. From there, the party is sent by the Plank King to try to find her again. She flew away due east, so they headed in the direction of Urukayxl, once again accompanied by Jana.
I built Jana like a PC, partly because I wanted a 5th character that could be played if a friend of ours wanted to play with us when he was in town, and partly because I wanted a Swiss Army knife of a character that the players could use as they see fit and fill any gaps that the party happened to have. I gave her 3 levels of Arcane Trickster Rogue and 2 levels in Warlock. I eventually picked up Mask of Many Faces and gave her a Celestial Patron (a unicorn!) so she'd have access to some Cleric spells. She ended up with a ridiculous amount of spells at her disposal, some which the party actually used, lol.
The verse about snakes of flesh and snakes of stone refers to Urukayxl and the Yaun-ti who live there. There is also a sacred temple to Zehir in which Uk'otoa is sealed. Ynil headed there in order to free Uk-otoa herself. It's also the place the party needs to go to retrieve the "bone". Urukayxl itself I made with lots of potential encounters. Swarms of stirges, assassin vines, kamadan, giant crocodile, Yaun-ti Pureblood, and lizard folk. With the lizard folk, they encounter a lizard folk village where they only speak Dragonborn, but they do it with a very heavily accented dialect. I happened to have 2 Dragonborn in my party, so they were able to communicate and ally themselves with the lizard folk against the Yuan-ti.
The temple to Zehir, I designed as a large spiral shaped like a cobra with the head in the very center. I can describe the dungeon in more detail in my next post as this one's getting a bit lengthy.
2024.05.28 23:08 Broccoli_bouquet Social Pragmatic Communication Disorder?
Ok this is kind of a long one but I just really hope to reach someone who can relate/has been diagnosed with āsocial pragmatic disorderā or may have some advice for where I should go next. Just feeling a lil beaten down.
I was diagnosed with ADHD 3 years ago after my sister was diagnosed and brought it to my attention. Our brother was diagnosed with ADHD at 7 years old and has been on stimulants his entire life. We both strongly suspect our mother is the culprit as she fits the bill for āundiagnosed ADHD boomer mom who can literally never sit still and ties her self worth to her level of productivityā if anyone is familiar with the type (exhausting).
After being diagnosed with ADHD and realizing just how much it has been impacting my life, I started seeing a therapist to come up with ways to accommodate myself. Through that process I came to be highly convinced that I am also Autistic - the AuDHD experiences of others online brought me to tears, I had never seen the struggles I had kept secret in my head my whole life discussed openly before. The innate āothernessā that I was forced to overcome every single time I entered a room with new people, that ālookā that would creep over someoneās face as soon as they noticed something was off about me and they wanted out of the conversation.
Additionally - myself and my siblings all understood from a young age that our dad was ādifferentā but he is from Holland so we would always just say that he was āvery Dutchā when trying to explain to others what he was like. Iāve never known him to have friends, he never went out to events or to volunteer for anything like our mom would; he had collections of cameras and photo editing equipment that he would mess with every single day and end the night by watching the weather channel. He goes for exactly one 30 min. bike ride per day and has a single glass of wine and Brazil nut every night for his health. His routine has never changed my entire life and the only time he ever gets angry is if you mess with his stuff or his plans. (Also his father, my grandfather, collected dictionaries from around the world and studied them to find translation issues in his free time; he collected so many dictionaries that there were four floor-to-ceiling bookcases of them to go through when he passed but Iām sure that is genetically unrelated). Growing up I inherently knew that whatever form of āweirdā my dad was, I had half of it and I hated it. I fought strongly against tendencies that I recognized as being his habits, and would get very frustrated when he would āmess upā conversations or social interactions since I had spent so much time studying to get it right.
Iāve become incredibly good at masking and my ADHD absolutely helps with this, makes me less of an āintense, emotionless and uncomfortableā presence and more of a ālol forgot my keys and put my phone in the fridge because I saw a squirrel, lolololā kind of presence. I leaned heavily into the āditzy blondeā trope growing up and learned to use humor in my favor, to literally mask my inescapable sensitivity issues, awkward interactions, inability to understand group dynamics and obsession with interests no one seemed to want to hear about. I learned how to tone down my entire self into a āquirkyā personality. And honestly, this is the mask that is really starting to be my downfall. Iām losing the ability to keep it up and my life is starting to fall apart.
My original therapist and I talked quite a bit about autism, its lack of representation in females, and how damaging it can be to continue masking your entire life. Iāve hit massive burnout a few times in the last few years, and have never been able to hold a job longer than 3 years before I no longer can stand either the monotony or the injustices that I uncover over time. I still struggle with intense crying spells that pop up out of nowhere and constrict my throat so much that I can barely breathe, let alone speak. Iāve had these episodes (what I am starting to think are my version of āmeltdownsā) in front of coworkers, bosses, therapists, doctors, police, anyone with either authority over me or disappointment in me. It is horrendously embarrassing and makes it nearly impossible to speak up for myself. I lose credibility, I worry people, I lose friendships and cause strife in my relationships as it seems like I āmake everything about me by cryingā.
Iāve experienced these episodes my whole life but was taught to āhave big feelingsā alone or in my room, and that showing ābig feelingsā was shameful. I got really good at deeply internalizing them for a while until I started developing intense IBS issues that led to stomach ulcers and a short hospital stay. I also started having migraines so intense that I would lose vision or throw up.
I finally decided that I needed some sort of reassurance that what I am experiencing is autism. I know that self-diagnosis is valid and if an accommodation works for you, then a formal diagnosis doesnāt matter. But maybe itās my āstrong sense of justiceā that wonāt let me self-diagnose; it feels wrong to say I am something when I have not been formally assessed. I feel like I am lying taking up space in the community, identifying with stories from those who went through the āproper channelsā per se. Long story short, I decided to pursue an official diagnosis.
I chose a clinic known for being neurodivergent and queer friendly, and the woman I went to see is also a fellow ADHDer. I figured if I were to be diagnosed anywhere, it would be by those who really knew the condition. We talked for over an hour, I had a crying fit almost immediately (nerves from new space/new person/ sharing intimate details) and she helped walk me through it until I could speak again. At the end of the session, she basically said she just didnāt see enough traits to formally diagnose me with with ASD; I made too much eye contact, I used my hands when talking, I was expressive, I joked and used sarcasm. She instead diagnosed me with social pragmatic communication disorder. I was upset and felt a little dismissed.
I had never heard of SCD but it seems to be exactly half of the ASD criteria minus the repetitive behaviors (stimming). And I can understand a bit where she is coming from: I was not displaying a lot of movements that could be considered a stim. But what she didnāt see were the scabs on my scalp from picking at my head repeatedly at work, my bloody stumps of fingernails that I have given up trying to quit biting, the number of times I have given myself an ear infection from obsessively using qtips multiple times a day when Iām extra stressed. I learned from a young age that repetitive behavior like what my brother (very stereotypically ADHD child) portrayed was āwrongā, inappropriate, and punishable if not changed. I corrected these things about myself at a very young age and learned how to portray myself very differently.
I guess I am just trying to find others who are in a similar place. I feel stuck in my treatment because the only thing that makes sense to me is ASD/ADHD but Iāve now been told twice that Iām wrong. I find it really hard to start finding treatment solutions for my ADHD when there is still a lot of other conflicting symptoms that come and go while I have been trying different meds for ADHD. Does anyone have experience with Social Pragmatic Communication Disorder? It feels like another result of autism stigma, creating yet another category to keep from calling people āautisticā but I just donāt know enough about it.
submitted by Broccoli_bouquet to AutisticWithADHD [link] [comments]
I was diagnosed with ADHD 3 years ago after my sister was diagnosed and brought it to my attention. Our brother was diagnosed with ADHD at 7 years old and has been on stimulants his entire life. We both strongly suspect our mother is the culprit as she fits the bill for āundiagnosed ADHD boomer mom who can literally never sit still and ties her self worth to her level of productivityā if anyone is familiar with the type (exhausting).
After being diagnosed with ADHD and realizing just how much it has been impacting my life, I started seeing a therapist to come up with ways to accommodate myself. Through that process I came to be highly convinced that I am also Autistic - the AuDHD experiences of others online brought me to tears, I had never seen the struggles I had kept secret in my head my whole life discussed openly before. The innate āothernessā that I was forced to overcome every single time I entered a room with new people, that ālookā that would creep over someoneās face as soon as they noticed something was off about me and they wanted out of the conversation.
Additionally - myself and my siblings all understood from a young age that our dad was ādifferentā but he is from Holland so we would always just say that he was āvery Dutchā when trying to explain to others what he was like. Iāve never known him to have friends, he never went out to events or to volunteer for anything like our mom would; he had collections of cameras and photo editing equipment that he would mess with every single day and end the night by watching the weather channel. He goes for exactly one 30 min. bike ride per day and has a single glass of wine and Brazil nut every night for his health. His routine has never changed my entire life and the only time he ever gets angry is if you mess with his stuff or his plans. (Also his father, my grandfather, collected dictionaries from around the world and studied them to find translation issues in his free time; he collected so many dictionaries that there were four floor-to-ceiling bookcases of them to go through when he passed but Iām sure that is genetically unrelated). Growing up I inherently knew that whatever form of āweirdā my dad was, I had half of it and I hated it. I fought strongly against tendencies that I recognized as being his habits, and would get very frustrated when he would āmess upā conversations or social interactions since I had spent so much time studying to get it right.
Iāve become incredibly good at masking and my ADHD absolutely helps with this, makes me less of an āintense, emotionless and uncomfortableā presence and more of a ālol forgot my keys and put my phone in the fridge because I saw a squirrel, lolololā kind of presence. I leaned heavily into the āditzy blondeā trope growing up and learned to use humor in my favor, to literally mask my inescapable sensitivity issues, awkward interactions, inability to understand group dynamics and obsession with interests no one seemed to want to hear about. I learned how to tone down my entire self into a āquirkyā personality. And honestly, this is the mask that is really starting to be my downfall. Iām losing the ability to keep it up and my life is starting to fall apart.
My original therapist and I talked quite a bit about autism, its lack of representation in females, and how damaging it can be to continue masking your entire life. Iāve hit massive burnout a few times in the last few years, and have never been able to hold a job longer than 3 years before I no longer can stand either the monotony or the injustices that I uncover over time. I still struggle with intense crying spells that pop up out of nowhere and constrict my throat so much that I can barely breathe, let alone speak. Iāve had these episodes (what I am starting to think are my version of āmeltdownsā) in front of coworkers, bosses, therapists, doctors, police, anyone with either authority over me or disappointment in me. It is horrendously embarrassing and makes it nearly impossible to speak up for myself. I lose credibility, I worry people, I lose friendships and cause strife in my relationships as it seems like I āmake everything about me by cryingā.
Iāve experienced these episodes my whole life but was taught to āhave big feelingsā alone or in my room, and that showing ābig feelingsā was shameful. I got really good at deeply internalizing them for a while until I started developing intense IBS issues that led to stomach ulcers and a short hospital stay. I also started having migraines so intense that I would lose vision or throw up.
I finally decided that I needed some sort of reassurance that what I am experiencing is autism. I know that self-diagnosis is valid and if an accommodation works for you, then a formal diagnosis doesnāt matter. But maybe itās my āstrong sense of justiceā that wonāt let me self-diagnose; it feels wrong to say I am something when I have not been formally assessed. I feel like I am lying taking up space in the community, identifying with stories from those who went through the āproper channelsā per se. Long story short, I decided to pursue an official diagnosis.
I chose a clinic known for being neurodivergent and queer friendly, and the woman I went to see is also a fellow ADHDer. I figured if I were to be diagnosed anywhere, it would be by those who really knew the condition. We talked for over an hour, I had a crying fit almost immediately (nerves from new space/new person/ sharing intimate details) and she helped walk me through it until I could speak again. At the end of the session, she basically said she just didnāt see enough traits to formally diagnose me with with ASD; I made too much eye contact, I used my hands when talking, I was expressive, I joked and used sarcasm. She instead diagnosed me with social pragmatic communication disorder. I was upset and felt a little dismissed.
I had never heard of SCD but it seems to be exactly half of the ASD criteria minus the repetitive behaviors (stimming). And I can understand a bit where she is coming from: I was not displaying a lot of movements that could be considered a stim. But what she didnāt see were the scabs on my scalp from picking at my head repeatedly at work, my bloody stumps of fingernails that I have given up trying to quit biting, the number of times I have given myself an ear infection from obsessively using qtips multiple times a day when Iām extra stressed. I learned from a young age that repetitive behavior like what my brother (very stereotypically ADHD child) portrayed was āwrongā, inappropriate, and punishable if not changed. I corrected these things about myself at a very young age and learned how to portray myself very differently.
I guess I am just trying to find others who are in a similar place. I feel stuck in my treatment because the only thing that makes sense to me is ASD/ADHD but Iāve now been told twice that Iām wrong. I find it really hard to start finding treatment solutions for my ADHD when there is still a lot of other conflicting symptoms that come and go while I have been trying different meds for ADHD. Does anyone have experience with Social Pragmatic Communication Disorder? It feels like another result of autism stigma, creating yet another category to keep from calling people āautisticā but I just donāt know enough about it.
2024.05.28 22:44 Gendernotfound1 Yeah this is normal
 | yOURE AN ADULT WHAT- submitted by Gendernotfound1 to ClanGen [link] [comments] |
2024.05.28 22:16 CupsOfSalmon I posted that Inkarnate Map a couple days ago. Here's some more info about The Rainbow Prophecy
 | The mod I'm using is Moss' Mod. submitted by CupsOfSalmon to ClanGen [link] [comments] |
2024.05.28 21:51 jenniferlouise92 What happens at cervical screening?
At your cervical screening (smear test) appointment, a nurse takes a sample of cells from your cervix using a small, soft brush. The test only takes a few minutes.
Booking your cervical screening appointment
If you are registered with a GP, you will get a letter telling you it is time for your cervical screening appointment. You have to contact your GP to book an appointment. You can usually do this online or over the phone.
In some areas, sexual health clinics offer cervical screening. You may choose to contact your local clinic if you arenāt able to access, or donāt feel comfortable at, your GP surgery.
Appointment times
Many GP surgeries offer cervical screening appointments on set days or at set times. If you canāt attend any of the available appointments, speak to your GP surgery to see if they can be flexible for you.
Things to think about before booking
Plan to spend at least 30 minutes at your GP surgery, which may include waiting for your appointment or being directed to the room. The test itself, where your nurse takes a sample of cells from your cervix, will only take a few minutes.
Arriving at your GP surgery
Your GP surgery will give you details about what to do once you arrive.
Although face coverings are no longer mandatory in healthcare settings, you can still choose to wear one if you wish
Your cervical screening appointment
A nurse, sometimes called a sample taker, will invite you into a treatment room. They will explain what cervical screening is and check if you have any questions.
Personal protective equipment (PPE)
Your GP surgery will follow local guidance about wearing PPE. If your nurse is wearing PPE, this may include a mask, gloves and apron.
Your cervical screening test
Your nurse will give you a private space to undress from the waist down, usually behind a curtain. If you are wearing a dress or skirt, you can leave this on and just take off your underwear.
Someone having cervical screening
Your nurse will ask you to lie on an examination bed and give you a new, clean paper sheet to cover the lower half of your body. You can lie:
Once the speculum is inside your vagina, the nurse will gently open it so they can see your cervix.
Then the nurse will use a small, soft brush to quickly take a sample of cells from your cervix. This may feel a bit strange, but should not be painful.
The nurse will put your sample of cells into a small plastic container (vial) of liquid. The liquid preserves the cells so they can be sent to a lab for testing.
And thatās it! The nurse will take the speculum out of your vagina and give you a private space to dress again. They will explain how and when you should get your results.
After your cervical screening appointment
Most people can continue their day as usual after the appointment.
You may have some light bleeding (spotting) for a day after the test, so it can help to wear a sanitary pad or panty-liner.
Your cervical screening results should arrive by post within 4 weeks.
Cervical screening appointment FAQs
Does cervical screening hurt?
Everyoneās experience of cervical screening is different. Some people don't find it uncomfortable, while for others it may be uncomfortable or hurt. There are lots of reasons, physical and pyschological, for this. It is important to tell your nurse or doctor if cervical screening is painful for you.
If you want to go for cervical screening, there are ways to make the test more comfortable and make sure you get the right support.
Cervical screening tips
Everyone has a different experience of cervical screening. If you are looking for ways to make cervical screening (a smear test) better for you, there are lots of things you can try. On this page, we talk through different tips. The tips on this page are for everyone, although you may feel some are not right for you. It may take a while to try a few things before finding something that works for you.
Talk to your nurse or doctor
If it is your first cervical screening, you feel embarrassed or worried, you have had a bad experience before, or you have experienced anything that makes the test hard for you, telling the person doing the test means they can try to give you the right support. If you donāt feel comfortable saying something, try writing it down.
Ask for the first appointment of the day
If you feel uncomfortable in waiting rooms, you may want to ask to book the first appointment of the day. This can mean it is quieter and there is less time for you to wait.
Ask to book a longer or double appointment
Having more time before, during or after cervical screening can help people take in information about the test and process everything that happens. If this would be useful for you, you may want to check if your GP surgery can offer you a longer appointment.
The receptionist may ask why you need a longer appointment ā remember, you do not have to disclose anything.
Ask for a nurse or doctor of a particular gender
You may feel more comfortable knowing that a female or male nurse will be doing your cervical screening. If you have a nurse or doctor you trust, you may want to check with your GP surgery if they are able to do it.
Take someone you trust with you
If it would help or you need assistance, you can ask if someone can come with you. It could be a friend, family member, partner or someone else. They can be in the waiting room or examination room with you to offer support. They may also be able to speak on your behalf about any worries.
If a trusted person isnāt able to come to the appointment, you can check if another member of staff can be with you for support. This person is sometimes called a chaperone.
Wear a skirt or dress
If you feel comfortable wearing a skirt or dress, it may help you feel more covered. You can keep it on during the test and only take off your underwear.
You do get a paper sheet to cover yourself. If you would like to, you can also ask if you can bring a spare shawl or blanket too.
Ask for a smaller speculum
Speculums come in different sizes. If you find the standard size too uncomfortable, you can ask to try another size.
Put the speculum in yourself
You may feel more relaxed and comfortable about putting the speculum in your vagina yourself. If you have a partner with you, you may prefer them to put the speculum in.
Lie in a different position
Lying on your back may feel uncomfortable for lots of reasons. You can ask to lie on your left hand side with your knees bent (left lateral position).
Use post-menopausal prescriptions
If you have gone through or are going through the menopause, let your doctor or nurse know. After menopause, the opening of the vagina and vaginal walls become less able to stretch, which can make the test more uncomfortable. You can ask your nurse to give (prescribe) you a vaginal oestrogen cream or pessary, which may help.
Ask to be referred to colposcopy
Sometimes the nurse may not be able to see your cervix. This could be because you have a tilted cervix, cervical stenosis (where the vagina narrows) or something else. It does not mean there is anything to worry about. The nurse may suggest you go to a colposcopy department for cervical screening, as they have equipment like adjustable beds that can help when trying to see the cervix.
Visit a specialist cervical screening clinic
Some people prefer to go for cervical screening in a clinic that meets their needs.
If you have experienced sexual violence, the charity My Body Back has clinics in London and Glasgow. The London clinic is for people living anywhere in the UK, and the Glasgow clinic is for people living in Scotland. My Body Back clinics are now open, so please contact them to book your appointment.
submitted by jenniferlouise92 to CervicalSupport [link] [comments]
Booking your cervical screening appointment
If you are registered with a GP, you will get a letter telling you it is time for your cervical screening appointment. You have to contact your GP to book an appointment. You can usually do this online or over the phone.
In some areas, sexual health clinics offer cervical screening. You may choose to contact your local clinic if you arenāt able to access, or donāt feel comfortable at, your GP surgery.
Appointment times
Many GP surgeries offer cervical screening appointments on set days or at set times. If you canāt attend any of the available appointments, speak to your GP surgery to see if they can be flexible for you.
Things to think about before booking
- Write down any questions you want to ask, such as what safety measures they have in place or if your GP surgery any specific instructions for you.
- It is best not to book a cervical screening when you have your period because it can make it harder to get a result.
- You should try not to use spermicide or oil-based lubricant (lube) for 24 hours before the test, as they can affect the results.
Plan to spend at least 30 minutes at your GP surgery, which may include waiting for your appointment or being directed to the room. The test itself, where your nurse takes a sample of cells from your cervix, will only take a few minutes.
Arriving at your GP surgery
Your GP surgery will give you details about what to do once you arrive.
Although face coverings are no longer mandatory in healthcare settings, you can still choose to wear one if you wish
Your cervical screening appointment
A nurse, sometimes called a sample taker, will invite you into a treatment room. They will explain what cervical screening is and check if you have any questions.
Personal protective equipment (PPE)
Your GP surgery will follow local guidance about wearing PPE. If your nurse is wearing PPE, this may include a mask, gloves and apron.
Your cervical screening test
Your nurse will give you a private space to undress from the waist down, usually behind a curtain. If you are wearing a dress or skirt, you can leave this on and just take off your underwear.
Someone having cervical screening
Your nurse will ask you to lie on an examination bed and give you a new, clean paper sheet to cover the lower half of your body. You can lie:
- on your back with your legs bent up, your ankles together and your knees apart
- on your left side with your knees bent.
Once the speculum is inside your vagina, the nurse will gently open it so they can see your cervix.
Then the nurse will use a small, soft brush to quickly take a sample of cells from your cervix. This may feel a bit strange, but should not be painful.
The nurse will put your sample of cells into a small plastic container (vial) of liquid. The liquid preserves the cells so they can be sent to a lab for testing.
And thatās it! The nurse will take the speculum out of your vagina and give you a private space to dress again. They will explain how and when you should get your results.
After your cervical screening appointment
Most people can continue their day as usual after the appointment.
You may have some light bleeding (spotting) for a day after the test, so it can help to wear a sanitary pad or panty-liner.
Your cervical screening results should arrive by post within 4 weeks.
Cervical screening appointment FAQs
Does cervical screening hurt?
Everyoneās experience of cervical screening is different. Some people don't find it uncomfortable, while for others it may be uncomfortable or hurt. There are lots of reasons, physical and pyschological, for this. It is important to tell your nurse or doctor if cervical screening is painful for you.
If you want to go for cervical screening, there are ways to make the test more comfortable and make sure you get the right support.
Cervical screening tips
Everyone has a different experience of cervical screening. If you are looking for ways to make cervical screening (a smear test) better for you, there are lots of things you can try. On this page, we talk through different tips. The tips on this page are for everyone, although you may feel some are not right for you. It may take a while to try a few things before finding something that works for you.
Talk to your nurse or doctor
If it is your first cervical screening, you feel embarrassed or worried, you have had a bad experience before, or you have experienced anything that makes the test hard for you, telling the person doing the test means they can try to give you the right support. If you donāt feel comfortable saying something, try writing it down.
Ask for the first appointment of the day
If you feel uncomfortable in waiting rooms, you may want to ask to book the first appointment of the day. This can mean it is quieter and there is less time for you to wait.
Ask to book a longer or double appointment
Having more time before, during or after cervical screening can help people take in information about the test and process everything that happens. If this would be useful for you, you may want to check if your GP surgery can offer you a longer appointment.
The receptionist may ask why you need a longer appointment ā remember, you do not have to disclose anything.
Ask for a nurse or doctor of a particular gender
You may feel more comfortable knowing that a female or male nurse will be doing your cervical screening. If you have a nurse or doctor you trust, you may want to check with your GP surgery if they are able to do it.
Take someone you trust with you
If it would help or you need assistance, you can ask if someone can come with you. It could be a friend, family member, partner or someone else. They can be in the waiting room or examination room with you to offer support. They may also be able to speak on your behalf about any worries.
If a trusted person isnāt able to come to the appointment, you can check if another member of staff can be with you for support. This person is sometimes called a chaperone.
Wear a skirt or dress
If you feel comfortable wearing a skirt or dress, it may help you feel more covered. You can keep it on during the test and only take off your underwear.
You do get a paper sheet to cover yourself. If you would like to, you can also ask if you can bring a spare shawl or blanket too.
Ask for a smaller speculum
Speculums come in different sizes. If you find the standard size too uncomfortable, you can ask to try another size.
Put the speculum in yourself
You may feel more relaxed and comfortable about putting the speculum in your vagina yourself. If you have a partner with you, you may prefer them to put the speculum in.
Lie in a different position
Lying on your back may feel uncomfortable for lots of reasons. You can ask to lie on your left hand side with your knees bent (left lateral position).
Use post-menopausal prescriptions
If you have gone through or are going through the menopause, let your doctor or nurse know. After menopause, the opening of the vagina and vaginal walls become less able to stretch, which can make the test more uncomfortable. You can ask your nurse to give (prescribe) you a vaginal oestrogen cream or pessary, which may help.
Ask to be referred to colposcopy
Sometimes the nurse may not be able to see your cervix. This could be because you have a tilted cervix, cervical stenosis (where the vagina narrows) or something else. It does not mean there is anything to worry about. The nurse may suggest you go to a colposcopy department for cervical screening, as they have equipment like adjustable beds that can help when trying to see the cervix.
Visit a specialist cervical screening clinic
Some people prefer to go for cervical screening in a clinic that meets their needs.
If you have experienced sexual violence, the charity My Body Back has clinics in London and Glasgow. The London clinic is for people living anywhere in the UK, and the Glasgow clinic is for people living in Scotland. My Body Back clinics are now open, so please contact them to book your appointment.
2024.05.28 21:50 chivara Current Comics potential updates
 | So, we all get that we may have updates based on X-Men '97 (Netmarble please) and Deadpool and Wolverine. But what if they make the new update based on current comic runs? So, here are some of the uniform options. I will focus on the characters that either don't have a relevant uniform or don't have a current comics uniform. That's why there won't be a Captain Marvel or Miss Marvel on this list ā their unis are relatively new. Some characters will be missed due to their uniforms, like Captain America who wears the classic costume right now ā pretty much the same he's got in the game. That said, let's start with... submitted by chivara to future_fight [link] [comments] Black Widowhttps://preview.redd.it/wtoq8sg4283d1.png?width=1246&format=png&auto=webp&s=d6ddc15221cee3a42f437b796ec7e5a88fb1db43People like symbiotes, so let's give people symbiotes! Right now Natasha is bonded with one giving superspy a fully masked look and a black leathery costume with red accents. This can be the similar to the recent Hulk uni with all of the abilities changed to accomodate new set of powers. X-23https://preview.redd.it/6kjdbu60f73d1.png?width=1673&format=png&auto=webp&s=049508a3485f20fb74177b529d7564c2f210b404Laura doesn't have a lot of looks in the comics and I highly doubt she'll get a new uni for Deadpool and Wolverine, even if she appears in the movie. So, adding her new look (which I very much don't like, btw) can be an option, she definitely needs an update. Jane Fosterhttps://preview.redd.it/6tzca69nz73d1.png?width=1710&format=png&auto=webp&s=0df1f1b41dc8ce43694c5bdc3b2e70631d1dc718Jane Foster as Valkyrie is an obvious choice for the character. Her weapon can be transformed into literally anything, that's a great gameplay and animation opportunity. I'd say her recent uniform is quite new, yet Thor got a new one, she could too. Stormhttps://preview.redd.it/0kaaffudf73d1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=b0620fd3e5d24ed864f864e3761d54d08dcaa207Her latest comic costumes are just gorgeous and her current seasonal uniform is already falling behind in terms of power. While they probably won't bring a new one just before summer sale, we can get it in august or in autumn. Make her godly! Although, we will likely get X-Men animated white uniform, which would also be amazing. Although, Storm will soon join the Avengers, so this may also be a deciding factor for Netmarble. Ant-Man and the Wasphttps://preview.redd.it/5snh3ce5g73d1.png?width=1686&format=png&auto=webp&s=8a56ac0a770e821dca66df57347ae7749a476ec6Marvel has started a new Ultimate universe, that's where these costumes originate. We didn't have an Ant-Man comic costume since... ever. Like, we've got SIX movie suits and zero based on the comics. Since Quantumania was a flop of a movie and the uniform was kinda meh, I think we can get a new uni sooner rather than later. Pretty much the same argument goes for the Wasp, although she somehow got a comic base uniform. PS: I know this is Hank Pym, not Scott Lang, but I think they will likely double release a uni for Ant-Man and the Wasp rather than for Giant-Man and the Wasp. Cyclops, Psylocke, Kid Omega and Juggernauthttps://preview.redd.it/6v65lv8ug73d1.png?width=1480&format=png&auto=webp&s=d5000929b5bb9ab8e2d7ee1fbcfb02effbc6b131Cyclops already has his suit from the animated series and if we're not looking at a Back to basics Spider-Man situation, it's certainly an option. That said, the latest Cyclops uniform is also a pretty recent one. Psylocke and Juggernaut are certainly in the books for the new costumes in the games and both are rather different from those that are already added. Kid Omega himself has literally no unis. I wouldn't count this one as a most favorable option, but if they go for the latest costumes that's the one. Apocalypsehttps://preview.redd.it/k3mzcvftl73d1.png?width=875&format=png&auto=webp&s=8da393eff8cb98dc1f2890c42910f8a9df27e1d5Both apoc looks differ from the most famous one, although they would probably like to differ in terms of gameplay. Giving him an enormous khopesh sword can be an option, giant swords are cool, ask Thanos! Emma Frost and Kitty Prydehttps://preview.redd.it/esv6b2ndl73d1.png?width=1200&format=png&auto=webp&s=dbfcc4499aef34d446de3608f973c212a1316ebaBoth Kitty and Emma have their latest unis brought from the Krakoan era, so there is a small chance they will get even newer suits. Although, since they have their own comics now we can definitely see those in game. Fantastic Fourhttps://preview.redd.it/w4uwkjmki73d1.png?width=2260&format=png&auto=webp&s=c732ffcd6e5c631795fc0d6033cd2ee95ea68cbdSomehow we didn't get regular blue Reed uniform since their introduction. Will there be uniforms for the movie? Yep. Do they need a new ones less than a year from now? I think so. It's unlikely we'll get new costumes at this point, but I'd consider there is still a slight chance of this happening. Shang-Chihttps://preview.redd.it/pqxsc0xgr73d1.png?width=1000&format=png&auto=webp&s=73901b288052d4f14bea067b51d39a939622cd97Shang-Chi got 10 rings in the movie, he got them in the comics, time for the Future Fight! There are new Shang-Chi comics published regularly, movie is almost three years old already, new uniform is surely due. Nightcrawlerhttps://preview.redd.it/lmwmhu26u73d1.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=e92a572143f960ca600c271f6a5ea05a2832df1eNightcrawler as a Spider-Man is such a fun idea! It also makes sense for Netmarble, since Spider-Man is one of the most marketable superheroes out there. Kurt himself drastically needs a decent update and this can be a great option for the devs to bring something different. Killmongerhttps://preview.redd.it/lig2f8yss73d1.png?width=1038&format=png&auto=webp&s=fc3346616a4e31a078063129ecfc26c661a745e6Premium character with a six years old uniform ā does it need an update? A rhetorical question indeed. This one comes from the new ultimate universe and is the only recent Killmonger design. Will it make to the game? Probably not. Should we get ANY Killmonger uniform? We should, for several years already. Polaris and Daken https://preview.redd.it/qwy9svijz83d1.png?width=4096&format=png&auto=webp&s=31d0c196a0787de2596bde35ea71d5b34bf28603 As mutagenicfrog mentioned in the comments, there are new uniforms for Daken and Polaris coming in the next months. While I can show Polaris, Daken's uni would be a spoiler. Let's just say it will DEFINITELY change all his skills. That said, I don't think this would be her new uniform. It is amazing, just too similar to the current one. Finally, here are some less likely uniform possibilities without any picutres, cause why not. Captain Marvel has her latest Hellfire Gala suit as a regular costume in her solo comic. Although, her movie uniform is relatively new. Miss Marvel was revealed to be a mutant and got her X-Men suit. Although, her movie uniform is relatively new. Loki appears in different forms in the latest comics, a new female look can be a great addition since three of his latest costumes are based on his Disney+ show. Although, Loki's latest uniform is relatively new. Falcon is one of the two Captains America right now and his suit doesn't look too different from the first comic based CA suit we've got. His latest uniform is also a Cap one, it is relatively new and the new movie suit is surely coming. Winter Soldier uniform is slightly more likely to appear. Bucky's latest suit in the comics is an all black look with a cape over one shoulder. We'll probably get a movie suit for Thunderbolts* release, but it's still about a year away. Hawkeye civilian uniform or a back to basics one are surely in the books. Although, the show based one is still decent. Ironheart had her signature pink suit for several years now, yet we got makeshift one from the movie instead. Although, her movie uniform is relatively new and a Disney+ show is coming in 2025. Havok has a new look for the upcoming X-Factor comic that is very similar to his classic X-Factor look. Probably the best option for a uniform. Could also be released with X-Factor Polaris. Iceman's recent look has a cleaner shape without any icicles all over and an X on the chest. Although, it may be not different enough from the base look for the devs to add it. She-Hulk will soon appear in Ultimate universe with grey skin. A possibility for sure, although her D+ show uniform is relatively new and I don't think the character is that popular. War Machine always gets back to the basic grey uniform, back to basics uni is probably due at this point. Kang comic accurate uniform with a big futuristic gun would be great, although I think Knull or Mephisto are more likely to get a uni soon amongst World Boss Legend characters. Luke Cage recently got a grey uniform with a mask. Probably won't get it since the comic it appeared wasn't very good and we probably won't see the suit in the comics anymore. Hellstorm doesn't have a uniform and he's never been a prominent character in the comics. Somehow he got a TV show, although, it was neither well written or popular. His bearded bald look from the Savage Avengers comic could be a great first uniform for the character if he gets one. Iron Man has got a new misterium armor. It's black and grey with red and golden accents. While it is the newest model of the armor, it doesn't stand out and will probably be just another armor in his arsenal. My guess, he's likely to get an older armor (Silver Centurion please) than this one. So, there's that. Which uniforms would you be interested in? UPD: added couple of potential suits. |
2024.05.28 21:49 lets-get-it-14 Fellas, women as a group arenāt to blame for dating culture in the US
This has been an ongoing discussion in this sub, and I want to start it up again and pontificate a bit. I expect some hate for this, but Iām genuinely curious to hear whatās others think about this topic and I find writing cathartic to process my thoughts. So here it goes:
One thing that grinds my gears about this sub (and I know itās an issue for other participants) is the lambasting of western women.
I really think that whole āmen vs. womenā culture war is so fucking stupid, and one of the greatest blessings of getting out of the US is leaving that bullshit culture war behind.
Just to be very clear, when I read comments or stories here about the frustrations and deep dissatisfaction with finding a good life partner in the US, I am in agreement with all of you here. Hell, my first or second post in this sub is doing exactly that, and it was cathartic as hell to write that. So you can say Iām a hypocrite in this post and wouldnāt be wrong, but I think Iāve processed a lot of those feelings from several months ago which led me to here.
The gist of that post is that I donāt like dating in the US. I donāt realistically see myself falling in love with an American girl ever again. I donāt like how Iāve been treated, and it feels like my eyes have been opened since dating abroad. And I still feel that way.
But Iāve changed my tune now where I really think itās not āAmerican/western women are the worstā, itās more that US culture is rotten at its core, and this goes for both men and women. It extends beyond dating even into friendships. Not only are the toxic behaviors exhibited by women in our dating culture encouraged by our society as a whole, but plenty of men in the US exhibit their own toxic dating behaviors that arenāt discussed in this sub which makes the conversations here seem very biased and close-minded to outsiders.
My main thesis is that people in our (US) society are hyper-consumerist, entitled, hyper-individualistic, close-minded, chase instant gratification, and lack critical thinking and emotional regulation skills.
And for me, personally, I just canāt have a life partner like that, and the pickings in the US are so slim compared to everywhere else in the world Iāve been in regard to what Iām searching for in a life partner.
I know many awesome women in the US, and these are people who are kind, sweet, physically attractive, friendly, and not hateful towards men. They are objectively fine people that I can vibe with and can rely on their friendship, but that doesnāt necessarily make them a good life partner for me.
On the contrary, I also know plenty of dudes who are bums, burnouts, assholes, disrespectful, emotionally immature, and toxic. Again, I can play hockey with these guys or just vibe at a party, but I can see why my aforementioned female friends and family are frustrated in their dating life, and they improperly process it and express it with a toxic āmen aināt shitā mentality.
My main message is that if youāre feeling angry or frustrated, particularly by how youāve been treated in your dating life in the US, then try your best to let it go. Thatās what Iāve been trying to do these past few months and with this post. There are places in the world that are a better cultural fit for you, your values, and your lifestyle. As much as people will try to scream and shriek and accuse you of sex tourism or exploiting impoverished societies, as long as you adhere to your values, donāt partake in those activities, and always treat people with respect, then you will always know that what they say is not true. Hold your head high, donāt get overly emotional, and stand your ground when challenged.
Donāt let the shit they fling eat away at you and make you adopt a toxic mentality akin to that of the girls who treated you that way. Try to take distance and look at it without letting your personal experiences dominate your entire viewpoint or get too emotional, and consider othersā perspectives with an open mind. Itās easier said than done, but you will feel so much better and find that conversations on the topic of dating a lot more productive and less toxic.
submitted by lets-get-it-14 to thepassportbros [link] [comments]
One thing that grinds my gears about this sub (and I know itās an issue for other participants) is the lambasting of western women.
I really think that whole āmen vs. womenā culture war is so fucking stupid, and one of the greatest blessings of getting out of the US is leaving that bullshit culture war behind.
Just to be very clear, when I read comments or stories here about the frustrations and deep dissatisfaction with finding a good life partner in the US, I am in agreement with all of you here. Hell, my first or second post in this sub is doing exactly that, and it was cathartic as hell to write that. So you can say Iām a hypocrite in this post and wouldnāt be wrong, but I think Iāve processed a lot of those feelings from several months ago which led me to here.
The gist of that post is that I donāt like dating in the US. I donāt realistically see myself falling in love with an American girl ever again. I donāt like how Iāve been treated, and it feels like my eyes have been opened since dating abroad. And I still feel that way.
But Iāve changed my tune now where I really think itās not āAmerican/western women are the worstā, itās more that US culture is rotten at its core, and this goes for both men and women. It extends beyond dating even into friendships. Not only are the toxic behaviors exhibited by women in our dating culture encouraged by our society as a whole, but plenty of men in the US exhibit their own toxic dating behaviors that arenāt discussed in this sub which makes the conversations here seem very biased and close-minded to outsiders.
My main thesis is that people in our (US) society are hyper-consumerist, entitled, hyper-individualistic, close-minded, chase instant gratification, and lack critical thinking and emotional regulation skills.
And for me, personally, I just canāt have a life partner like that, and the pickings in the US are so slim compared to everywhere else in the world Iāve been in regard to what Iām searching for in a life partner.
I know many awesome women in the US, and these are people who are kind, sweet, physically attractive, friendly, and not hateful towards men. They are objectively fine people that I can vibe with and can rely on their friendship, but that doesnāt necessarily make them a good life partner for me.
On the contrary, I also know plenty of dudes who are bums, burnouts, assholes, disrespectful, emotionally immature, and toxic. Again, I can play hockey with these guys or just vibe at a party, but I can see why my aforementioned female friends and family are frustrated in their dating life, and they improperly process it and express it with a toxic āmen aināt shitā mentality.
My main message is that if youāre feeling angry or frustrated, particularly by how youāve been treated in your dating life in the US, then try your best to let it go. Thatās what Iāve been trying to do these past few months and with this post. There are places in the world that are a better cultural fit for you, your values, and your lifestyle. As much as people will try to scream and shriek and accuse you of sex tourism or exploiting impoverished societies, as long as you adhere to your values, donāt partake in those activities, and always treat people with respect, then you will always know that what they say is not true. Hold your head high, donāt get overly emotional, and stand your ground when challenged.
Donāt let the shit they fling eat away at you and make you adopt a toxic mentality akin to that of the girls who treated you that way. Try to take distance and look at it without letting your personal experiences dominate your entire viewpoint or get too emotional, and consider othersā perspectives with an open mind. Itās easier said than done, but you will feel so much better and find that conversations on the topic of dating a lot more productive and less toxic.
2024.05.28 20:25 Autismsaurus I Wish They Would Call "Female Autism" Something Else
I was reading through the traits of what is known as "female autism". It really just read like a list of "high masking/LSN" autistic traits.
I know they call it that because it's seen more often in females, but it makes me feel excluded from my femininity because I don't have those traits. I have never known how to mask, or even knew it was necessary or desirable when I was young. I cannot force eye contact, my stems are not subtle or "socially appropriate", and I have never forced myself to have a traditionally feminine special interest in order to fit in.
All of this doesn't make me any less feminine. I am still a girl, even though my autism is more severe and subsequently more noticeable. I wish they would stop calling it female autism.
submitted by Autismsaurus to SpicyAutism [link] [comments]
I know they call it that because it's seen more often in females, but it makes me feel excluded from my femininity because I don't have those traits. I have never known how to mask, or even knew it was necessary or desirable when I was young. I cannot force eye contact, my stems are not subtle or "socially appropriate", and I have never forced myself to have a traditionally feminine special interest in order to fit in.
All of this doesn't make me any less feminine. I am still a girl, even though my autism is more severe and subsequently more noticeable. I wish they would stop calling it female autism.
2024.05.28 20:01 Gexgekko [PC][1990-2005]RPG where you collected crystals
Platform(s): PC
Genre: RPG (baldur's gate style, but less complex)
Estimated year of release: Between 1990 and 2005
Graphics/art style: It was "3D" but the graphics were fantasy like, less realistic than Baldur's gate and more "child-oriented"
Notable characters: Protagonist was a male, but there was a female involved.
Notable gameplay mechanics: It was an RPG in the vein of Baldur's Gate but less complex. You had to collect crystals for something in the story. You could visit the bank to store money and items (there was a bank person you had to talk to).
Other details: It's for my mom and she doesn't remember much due to old age, so details are scarce. One thing she said was that the game name started with the letter I or F, and it was a single word.
Thanks!
Edit Another family member remembered. It was Dark Stone
submitted by Gexgekko to tipofmyjoystick [link] [comments]
Genre: RPG (baldur's gate style, but less complex)
Estimated year of release: Between 1990 and 2005
Graphics/art style: It was "3D" but the graphics were fantasy like, less realistic than Baldur's gate and more "child-oriented"
Notable characters: Protagonist was a male, but there was a female involved.
Notable gameplay mechanics: It was an RPG in the vein of Baldur's Gate but less complex. You had to collect crystals for something in the story. You could visit the bank to store money and items (there was a bank person you had to talk to).
Other details: It's for my mom and she doesn't remember much due to old age, so details are scarce. One thing she said was that the game name started with the letter I or F, and it was a single word.
Thanks!
Edit Another family member remembered. It was Dark Stone
2024.05.28 19:48 Coy_Octopus Stuttering While Exploring
So I have a heavy load order and recently started a new game with most of the Mods I was using for a previous playthrough. Changed out a few texture overhauls for land, architecture and my character. Also city overhauls. Swapped a grass Mod for a "more FPS friendly" version. Added Sons of Skyrim and Cloaks of Skyrim after testing it out on my previous playthrough.
Tested this load order on a new temporary save and it seemed to run fine at first. The current game was fresh with this order after wiping my reserved space and hard resetting.
Now:
In cities, villages, or other cells it runs smooth as my previous playthrough with the normal brief stutter around cluttered parts of Falkreath and Riften holds that I'm not worried about as its mostly the same regardless of what Mods I have or haven't installed.
However, I am now experiencing intermittent/often stutter of varying levels when travelling the world and the landscape rendering takes a moment or two to catch up at times. Had a couple of CTD's up hill near Anga's Mill at the same place but resolved itself without me moving my load order around.
So I guess what I'm asking is, can anyone help?
Is it my load order? Though the structure is more or less the same as I've used for several playthroughs, certain things are placed in the order they are as any lower and things start to get iffy. (Had texture mods a lot further down a while ago but then other Mods like the character overhauls wasn't working properly for whatever reason so had to rearrange).
Is my load order too heavy? Though I've run 167 Mods including patches on a previous game with only occasional stuttering. Unfortunately some of the things I want don't have an AIO or I don't want the AIO - see City Trees - or they have a ton of patches required - I'm looking at you JK.
Do I have any mods that are driving my FPS into the ground that I'm not aware of? Though I know it will never be perfect while I have a grass Mod installed.
Can anyone recommend alternative options? Though I'm trying to stay away from JK's skyrim AIO because of all the patches required. Same with The Great Cities.
I currently have 115 mods including patches.
94 mods and 21 patches
Total of 4.77GB used.
Version: Skyrim Anniversary Edition
Console: Xbox Series X at 60fps
TV: LG webOS
MOD LOAD ORDER:
PATCH: AIO USSEP Patch
PATCH: AIO ELFX Patch
PATCH: AIO Solitude Overgrown
PATCH: Cloaks of Skyrim
PATCH: ELFX Patch
PATCH: Clefj's Winterhold
PATCH: JK's Interiors
PATCH: Clefj's Fort Dawnguard
submitted by Coy_Octopus to SkyrimModsXbox [link] [comments]
Tested this load order on a new temporary save and it seemed to run fine at first. The current game was fresh with this order after wiping my reserved space and hard resetting.
Now:
In cities, villages, or other cells it runs smooth as my previous playthrough with the normal brief stutter around cluttered parts of Falkreath and Riften holds that I'm not worried about as its mostly the same regardless of what Mods I have or haven't installed.
However, I am now experiencing intermittent/often stutter of varying levels when travelling the world and the landscape rendering takes a moment or two to catch up at times. Had a couple of CTD's up hill near Anga's Mill at the same place but resolved itself without me moving my load order around.
So I guess what I'm asking is, can anyone help?
Is it my load order? Though the structure is more or less the same as I've used for several playthroughs, certain things are placed in the order they are as any lower and things start to get iffy. (Had texture mods a lot further down a while ago but then other Mods like the character overhauls wasn't working properly for whatever reason so had to rearrange).
Is my load order too heavy? Though I've run 167 Mods including patches on a previous game with only occasional stuttering. Unfortunately some of the things I want don't have an AIO or I don't want the AIO - see City Trees - or they have a ton of patches required - I'm looking at you JK.
Do I have any mods that are driving my FPS into the ground that I'm not aware of? Though I know it will never be perfect while I have a grass Mod installed.
Can anyone recommend alternative options? Though I'm trying to stay away from JK's skyrim AIO because of all the patches required. Same with The Great Cities.
I currently have 115 mods including patches.
94 mods and 21 patches
Total of 4.77GB used.
Version: Skyrim Anniversary Edition
Console: Xbox Series X at 60fps
TV: LG webOS
MOD LOAD ORDER:
- Unofficial Skyrim Special Edition Patch
- City trees: Ivarstead (these auto load to top)
- City trees: Riverwood
- City trees: Whiterun
- City trees: Whiterun Lanterns
- City trees: Windhelm
- Character Editor - All In One
- Vpaint
- Cloaks & Capes Consistency Patch version
- Cloaks of Skyrim (needs to go above lighting apparently)
- Cheat Room
- Static Mesh Improvement Mod SMIM Noble Skyrim Edition
- Mythical Ages (V1.10)
- Updated - Enhanced Lights & FX for SMIM
- ELFX Exteriors Fixes version
- Cathedral Grass - Green Tundra Version 1k
- Landscape Fixes for Grass Mods
- Trees of Iduna AIO
- Solitude Overgrown
- Noble Skyrim - Ships and Boats
- Noble Skyrim - Clutter
- Rally's Common Furniture
- Small Nordic Tent Replacer
- Detailed Rugs
- Stony AF Markarth & Dwemer Ruins
- Riton AIO
- Riton Farmhouse III
- UNVFH - Unique Northern Vanilla Farmhouses AIO
- Icy Windhelm Newest Version
- Skyland Night Sky
- Skyland Fantasia Landscapes
- Simplicity of Snow
- Skyland Lods
- Carriage Stops of Skyrim
- Lampposts of Skyrim
- Spaghetti Cities - Main Cities AIO
- Cities and Villages (by Skeletor)
- Mammoth Manor
- Windhelm Bridge Revived
- Markarth Entrance Overhaul Fixed
- Solitude Decorative Buildings
- Solitude Docks Updated
- JK's Rorikstead
- JK's Dawnstar
- Kato's Falkreath
- Kato's Ivarstead
- Kato's Riverwood
- JK'S Interiors
PATCH: AIO USSEP Patch
PATCH: AIO ELFX Patch
PATCH: AIO Solitude Overgrown
- Humble Riches Whiterun: JK's Interiors
- Clefj's Fort Dawnguard
PATCH: Cloaks of Skyrim
- Clefj's Shor's Stone
- Clefj's Karthwasten
- Clefj's Dragonbridge
- Clefj's Morthal
PATCH: ELFX Patch
- Clefj's Winterhold
- Extended Encounters
- AI Overhaul 1.8.2 Non Scripted
PATCH: Clefj's Winterhold
- Alternate Start: Live Another Life
- Relationship Dialog Overhaul
PATCH: JK's Interiors
PATCH: Clefj's Fort Dawnguard
- Amazing Follower Tweaks
- My Home Is Your Home
- Multiple Floors Sandboxing
- Less Aggressive Animals
- Better Horses
- Skyrim Horse Renewal Animations
- Bellyaches Animal and Creature Star Choice
- Immersive Carriages
- 360 Walk and Run Standalone
- Vanargand Animations: AIO
- Pristine Vanilla Movement: No Camera Shake
- Female Sitting Animation Replacer
- Dovahkiin Can Lean Sit Kneel Lay
- WSCO: Windsong Skyrim Character Overhaul
- Bosmer NPC's Have Antlers
- Dovahkinder Children's Clothes
- Emperor's Picks: KS Hair Pack
- Pierced Ears: Steel
- Newmills Drake2 Jewellery
- Rebels Ranger Gear
- College Prestige Mage Outfit
- Viking Armors 1k
- Caliente's Beautiful Bodies Curvy
- CBBE Lovergirl Skin 4k
- The Eyes of Beauty
- HN66 Updated Long Eyelashes
- Full Lip Tintmasks 4k
- Tragedian's Resplendent Royals
- Tragedian's Fabulous Followers AIO
- Pandorables Lethal Ladies (no face glitches under Tragedian's)
- Mjoll Face-lift SE: Original Warpaint (no face glitches under Tragedian's)
- RS Children Optimized
- Realistic Water Two (XB1)
- Northern Roads 1k (Merged into Northern Roads No Northern Roads Patch so I get the stuff but not the landscape changes)
- Sons of Skyrim 1k
2024.05.28 19:27 rustbeltfemme Failed MtF Transition
When I started HRT a little over a year ago, I had been on the trans train for awhile and had already been identifying as nb for years. I thought I would turn into some sexy, mysterious androgynous figure who would captivate people with my perfect fusion of masculine and feminine energies. I thought that adding some curves and brighter, smoother skin onto my long legs and sharp features would not only make me feel more at home in my own body, but also be a really powerful look. And I kinda do feel more comfortable. But I tried to construct my ideal self out of whole cloth and exogenous hormones and now instead I just look like a man with tits and long hair. My face has softened and brightened for sure, but it looks like someone cut and pasted some impish, doe-eyed features onto an otherwise masculine bone structure. Basically I look like a wolf wearing a sheep's mask which understandably makes some people really uncomfortable.
Recently I fell pretty hard for this super normie cis straight woman. HRT nuked my libido and just being trans made me exhausted with putting myself out there and dealing with the rejection and the fetishists and the programmer socks catgirls, so it had been a long time since I truly felt any kind of romantic spark for someone, and it was a shock to realize just how unmistakably male my ways of pursuing another person are. We clicked in a way I haven't with someone in awhile, and definitely had a certain chemistry, but having someone who acts like a dude but goes by she/they pronouns attracted to her clearly made her uncomfortable. I'm definitely not one of those trans women who just effortlessly have feminine mannerisms and were always out of place as guys because of it.
Her obliviousness with all things gender has become attractive to me because of my own exhaustion with it. Thinking we could be close felt like a major win in that I could become "one of the good transes" who could fit into the rest of society without retreating into our little enclave. Which is horrendously unfair to other trans people, I know. Like my friends. Most of whom are FTM and rocking their transition with a confidence and conviction I could only dream of having. I don't know how much each one of them passes as cis, because I'm a terrible judge of that and don't want to judge my friends in that way, but they undeniably pass as men. And seeing them go out in the world as happy, confident young men with unapologetic masculine energy, but unashamed of their feminine sides, makes me realize that maybe all that I was running from when I transitioned isn't so scary after all. It has me thinking I could be one of those guys who embraces being physical and strong, and start getting in the gym, but also be unashamed of my sensitivity and rock a feminine style sometimes. And create a fusion of my two disparate energies in that way. Or that at the very least I need to be more in touch with my own body and learn to love and take care of the physical form I do have.
But realistically I'd just go bald and get a dad bod, and become increasingly isolated and alienated, because the social terrain men have to navigate in this world is really messed up and unhealthy and I'm not the one to change that.
And I have so much to lose no matter what. I've already estranged myself from most of my family, not a formally spoken but a de facto estrangement because I can't bring myself to explain my thirteen different layers of gender bullshit to a bunch of straight Christians. Most of my friends are trans and leaving their community would feel like a betrayal. If nothing else going to queer events with them as a bi dude would for sure hit different. My best friend is a trans guy. We share identical senses of humor and complimentary ways of seeing the world that are all closely linked to our struggles with gender. I couldn't bear to lose my connection with him. I work in women's health and feel like I've finally found a job that I'm good at and where I look forward to showing up every day. And I know men in that field can be a walking powder keg of making people uncomfortable. I also live with a cis woman and probably would have to scramble to find a new roommate if I detransitioned.
Some days I love my breasts, and some days I can't stand them and wish I never had them, but they're here to stay either way. It seems like my options are to start my life completely over from scratch or continue on my current path which still involves killing off a past version of myself. And both seem inconceivable. I've also severely restricted my dating pool in either case. We all know about the struggles of dating while trans, and who is ever going to be into an ostensibly regular guy once he discloses he's lived as a woman for over a year.
I've ruined my life. I'm in my 20s, and instead of enjoying being young, I've ruined my life by trapping myself in an impossible bind. I love the trans community with all my heart, but in some vague, inscrutable way I can tell I'm different from the happy trans people I've surrounded myself with. I just hope I can figure out what to do with that nagging sense before it's too late, before I'm stuck living the rest of my life in a lonely, waking nightmare; a social straight jacket i've built and perfectly fitted to my strange body. And I hope everyone who has that same nagging sense I do can do the same.
submitted by rustbeltfemme to actual_detrans [link] [comments]
Recently I fell pretty hard for this super normie cis straight woman. HRT nuked my libido and just being trans made me exhausted with putting myself out there and dealing with the rejection and the fetishists and the programmer socks catgirls, so it had been a long time since I truly felt any kind of romantic spark for someone, and it was a shock to realize just how unmistakably male my ways of pursuing another person are. We clicked in a way I haven't with someone in awhile, and definitely had a certain chemistry, but having someone who acts like a dude but goes by she/they pronouns attracted to her clearly made her uncomfortable. I'm definitely not one of those trans women who just effortlessly have feminine mannerisms and were always out of place as guys because of it.
Her obliviousness with all things gender has become attractive to me because of my own exhaustion with it. Thinking we could be close felt like a major win in that I could become "one of the good transes" who could fit into the rest of society without retreating into our little enclave. Which is horrendously unfair to other trans people, I know. Like my friends. Most of whom are FTM and rocking their transition with a confidence and conviction I could only dream of having. I don't know how much each one of them passes as cis, because I'm a terrible judge of that and don't want to judge my friends in that way, but they undeniably pass as men. And seeing them go out in the world as happy, confident young men with unapologetic masculine energy, but unashamed of their feminine sides, makes me realize that maybe all that I was running from when I transitioned isn't so scary after all. It has me thinking I could be one of those guys who embraces being physical and strong, and start getting in the gym, but also be unashamed of my sensitivity and rock a feminine style sometimes. And create a fusion of my two disparate energies in that way. Or that at the very least I need to be more in touch with my own body and learn to love and take care of the physical form I do have.
But realistically I'd just go bald and get a dad bod, and become increasingly isolated and alienated, because the social terrain men have to navigate in this world is really messed up and unhealthy and I'm not the one to change that.
And I have so much to lose no matter what. I've already estranged myself from most of my family, not a formally spoken but a de facto estrangement because I can't bring myself to explain my thirteen different layers of gender bullshit to a bunch of straight Christians. Most of my friends are trans and leaving their community would feel like a betrayal. If nothing else going to queer events with them as a bi dude would for sure hit different. My best friend is a trans guy. We share identical senses of humor and complimentary ways of seeing the world that are all closely linked to our struggles with gender. I couldn't bear to lose my connection with him. I work in women's health and feel like I've finally found a job that I'm good at and where I look forward to showing up every day. And I know men in that field can be a walking powder keg of making people uncomfortable. I also live with a cis woman and probably would have to scramble to find a new roommate if I detransitioned.
Some days I love my breasts, and some days I can't stand them and wish I never had them, but they're here to stay either way. It seems like my options are to start my life completely over from scratch or continue on my current path which still involves killing off a past version of myself. And both seem inconceivable. I've also severely restricted my dating pool in either case. We all know about the struggles of dating while trans, and who is ever going to be into an ostensibly regular guy once he discloses he's lived as a woman for over a year.
I've ruined my life. I'm in my 20s, and instead of enjoying being young, I've ruined my life by trapping myself in an impossible bind. I love the trans community with all my heart, but in some vague, inscrutable way I can tell I'm different from the happy trans people I've surrounded myself with. I just hope I can figure out what to do with that nagging sense before it's too late, before I'm stuck living the rest of my life in a lonely, waking nightmare; a social straight jacket i've built and perfectly fitted to my strange body. And I hope everyone who has that same nagging sense I do can do the same.
2024.05.28 18:40 Undercoverspinmop Is there ever a provider who will help?
I've been to two different providers now, hoping someone will take my concerns seriously. I have every textbook symptom of Cushings, both providers say I don't show anything. I'm a female (25yrs, 315lbs), and l've gained over 40lbs in less than three years. I eat a balanced diet, exercise, and realistically should be dropping weight, however, I keep gaining. My A1C is prediabetic range and is climbing, I have the Buffalo hump, purple stretch marks, my liver functions tests keep coming back all wonky (which is also a concern, but I'm thinking it could be related to the rapid weight gain), all my weight gain pools in my mid-section, moon face, etc. I'm at a loss. I was so hopeful with this second provider that I would get some help or pointed in the right direction, just got told to "eat a balanced diet and try using MyFitnessPal" as if l've never heard of that before. I need help and I don't know what to do.
submitted by Undercoverspinmop to endocrinology [link] [comments]
2024.05.28 18:38 Notamugokai Asking your opinion on a fiction I wrote: short dialog bit, for a small help. Thanks!
Hi everyone,
To avoid any representation mistakes, I've been working hard and now, turning to the community, I'm asking your opinion on a little bit of dialogue I'm happy with to check if I'm delusional about my story overall or if there is hope (thank you so much for helping!)
It's a coming-of-age story, mostly, not a coming out one. No sex, but the main character (Kasumi) thinks about it at times. She is gay, 16, and that's where I would like you to check if this dialogue is realistic or not (as I'm a bit dense but trying to solve this and get the subtleties right).
Thanks again!
[...]
Time to board. Kasumi lags, so she gets in last and picks two free seats. This coach bus has a new interior design with shiny black surfaces everywhere, no strong plastic smell, and ambient lights that could ease the concentration of the athletes whose conversations soften.
Kasumiās strategy to be alone for the trip is failing as another group arrives, at a fast pace and with resolute faces. So interesting! Are they warriors going into battle? Louder talks start over even before they get in. A short-haired female senior comes to sit beside Kasumi. Sheās polite and reserved. Last call, the teacher takes his seat, and the coach bus departs.
Kasumi takes the initiative for a chit-chat with her neighbour and complains about being forced to come. āWell, at least you are next to me, so no boy will flirt with me all the way,ā she says.
The young lady smiles and breaks eye contact, grasping her sports bag.
So shy! Are you really my senior? Kasumi asks, āwonāt you put it overhead?ā
The young lady nods and takes a book out of her bagāa white book, but maybe notāand gets up to shove her bag in the overhead compartment. While she does her best to make room for her luggage, Kasumi keeps looking at the book on the folding shelf of the seat. The sheet that covers the book is the standard ruled-paper sheet for students. Does this count as a white cover? Green light. The young lady holds on to the front seat handles for balance as the engine roars, and she sits again.
Kasumi asks, āare you Mayu?āāmaybe-Mayu freezesāSo you are! Kasumi stares at the book. āA friend told me about youā¦ I mean, about the blank cover of the books you read. My name is Nomura Kasumi.ā
āMy name is Sasaki Mayu. Sorry, Iā¦ I think Iāll go sit elsewhere. Sorry.ā She rises to leave.
āEh? Please stay!ā Kasumi grabs Mayuās sleeveāwhich makes her sit backāand she adds softly, āI want to talk to you. Whatās the matter?ā
āIs it ok? You saidā¦ā
āEh? Itās fine!ā
They both look each other in the eye for a couple seconds, and this time Kasumi has to break contact. Mayu makes an imperceptible smirk, soon overshadowed by a sad look as she drives her gaze to the aisle, letting it browse the seats before her until it pierces through the windshield where it locks for a while.
Kasumi resumes a chit-chat about the upcoming competition. Mayu cooperates; her hands are resting on the book that Kasumi canāt help peeking at between each exchange. Arenāt you stiff? Gently bouncing her shoulder against her neighbourās, Kasumi asks, āwhatās your sport? Wait! Let me guessā¦ā She looks at Mayuās legsāwhich makes Mayuās index rub the book, riffling the corner repeatedly in an impatient chirp which stands out among the overall ambient mix of conversations and coachās muffled drive by its distinguishing texture. Drrrtā¦ Drrrtā¦ Drrrtā¦
āAre you a ājumperā?ā asks Kasumi as she makes eye contact again.
Mayuās index stops. āIām a sprinter,ā she says to end the exam. āFor one, two and four hundred metres. Do my legs look toned?ā
[[ cut: disturbed by the boys behind]]
ā[[...]]ā says Kasumi with a low voice, and then cheerful again, āmy job today is to take great pictures of your feat!ā
āThank you. Butā¦ Maybe youāll have to cover the whole team.ā
āEh? Iām the photographer, so I judge whoās an artistic subject.ā
Mayu chuckles. āButā¦ Wonāt you get in trouble?ā
āItās fine! Iāll shoot girls. Both clubs will love it.ā
Mayu bites her lips and nods. She ventures, āandā¦ youā¦ Do youāā
āTell me your schedule. Races and breaks.ā Kasumi takes out a black pen and rummages in her other pockets. āIāll make you a star, so you better crush the other runners.ā
Mayu laughs and beams at Kasumi. Looking back at her book, she brushes her hair and makes up her mind. With the tip of two fingers, and guarding the other fingers away from Kasumiās hand, she picks up her pen. She writes a few lines on the white cover interior, pauses, and biting her lips she adds a last line. She tears down that part of the paper cover, folds it and hands it over to Kasumi. āHere is my schedule.ā
Itās the abridged schedule andā¦ a phone number. Haha, I seeā¦ You sly gayā¦ Well done! Kasumiās smiling eyes keep going from the paper she holds on to as a proof, to Mayuās increasingly embarrassed eyes, and back.
Mayu waves her hands. āItās just in caseā¦ Just in caseā¦ In case weā¦ā
What are you afraid of? Kasumi extends her arm to collect the pen, closing her hand on Mayuās fingers that she lets go in the same move. āIn case I canāt find you,ā Kasumi suggests.
āYes!ā Mayu lowers her hands.
āIn the case your schedule changes.ā
āYes!ā Mayu relaxes her shoulders.
āIn case we need to talk more.ā
āYes! Wait! Whatā¦ what do you mean?ā Mayu stiffens anew.
āDonāt worry!ā Kasumi beams at Mayu. āItās just in case I want to talk.ā
Mayu grasps her book and fidgets. āIām sorry, I thought youā¦ Ahā¦ Donāt mind me.ā She raises her book open, hides her face in it; a small bookmark drops on her thighs. The book dampens what she mutters, āIām so stupid!ā
Kasumi extends her hand toward Mayuās thighs; it startles her as soon as it comes into sight below the book aperture.
āWhat! What are you doing?ā Mayu says, raising her head off the book, with a sad blend of perplexity and anger.
Kasumi retreats. āDonāt worry! Iāā
āAre you making fun of me? Is that a game for you?ā Mayu says.
āEh? Why? Your bookmark had fallen, so Iāā
āAh! Yesā¦ Sorry.ā Mayu claps her book closed, pressing its edge on her forehead and nose, like an opened-eye prayer that helps her to breathe. The book is probably thin enough to let her see her two fields of vision as one undivided horizon. Mayu sighs. āItās confusing, Iām sorry.ā
Kasumi swiftly picks up the bookmark and puts it on the shelf.
āThanks,ā says Mayu. āI donātā¦ Iām not sure what sideā¦ Youāre not helping.ā
āEh? Only you know where your bookmark was.ā
Mayu has a faint smile before piling her book, forearms and headāalmost buriedāon the shelf. āSure,ā she says with a muffled voice. Her shoulders slump. āIāll rest for a while.ā
Kasumi considers Mayuās back, the curve of the spine, the lower back of the rib cage, the subtle breathing moves, still irregular. Are you crying? No. Good.
submitted by Notamugokai to u/Notamugokai [link] [comments]
To avoid any representation mistakes, I've been working hard and now, turning to the community, I'm asking your opinion on a little bit of dialogue I'm happy with to check if I'm delusional about my story overall or if there is hope (thank you so much for helping!)
It's a coming-of-age story, mostly, not a coming out one. No sex, but the main character (Kasumi) thinks about it at times. She is gay, 16, and that's where I would like you to check if this dialogue is realistic or not (as I'm a bit dense but trying to solve this and get the subtleties right).
Thanks again!
The trip - White Book
Context: (IMPORTANT!)Kasumi's friend told her there's a gay schoolmate: 3rd year, Mayu, often with a white book. Kasumi hasn't met her yet after a few weeks. She's curious to know more about her but she's cautious (1st year Kasumi is not out while Mayu seems known to be gay).Excerpt follows: (UK syntax)
The scene: in a coach bus for a trip, appointed as a photographer by the club, with the sport team she doesn't know.
[...]
Time to board. Kasumi lags, so she gets in last and picks two free seats. This coach bus has a new interior design with shiny black surfaces everywhere, no strong plastic smell, and ambient lights that could ease the concentration of the athletes whose conversations soften.
Kasumiās strategy to be alone for the trip is failing as another group arrives, at a fast pace and with resolute faces. So interesting! Are they warriors going into battle? Louder talks start over even before they get in. A short-haired female senior comes to sit beside Kasumi. Sheās polite and reserved. Last call, the teacher takes his seat, and the coach bus departs.
Kasumi takes the initiative for a chit-chat with her neighbour and complains about being forced to come. āWell, at least you are next to me, so no boy will flirt with me all the way,ā she says.
The young lady smiles and breaks eye contact, grasping her sports bag.
So shy! Are you really my senior? Kasumi asks, āwonāt you put it overhead?ā
The young lady nods and takes a book out of her bagāa white book, but maybe notāand gets up to shove her bag in the overhead compartment. While she does her best to make room for her luggage, Kasumi keeps looking at the book on the folding shelf of the seat. The sheet that covers the book is the standard ruled-paper sheet for students. Does this count as a white cover? Green light. The young lady holds on to the front seat handles for balance as the engine roars, and she sits again.
Kasumi asks, āare you Mayu?āāmaybe-Mayu freezesāSo you are! Kasumi stares at the book. āA friend told me about youā¦ I mean, about the blank cover of the books you read. My name is Nomura Kasumi.ā
āMy name is Sasaki Mayu. Sorry, Iā¦ I think Iāll go sit elsewhere. Sorry.ā She rises to leave.
āEh? Please stay!ā Kasumi grabs Mayuās sleeveāwhich makes her sit backāand she adds softly, āI want to talk to you. Whatās the matter?ā
āIs it ok? You saidā¦ā
āEh? Itās fine!ā
They both look each other in the eye for a couple seconds, and this time Kasumi has to break contact. Mayu makes an imperceptible smirk, soon overshadowed by a sad look as she drives her gaze to the aisle, letting it browse the seats before her until it pierces through the windshield where it locks for a while.
Kasumi resumes a chit-chat about the upcoming competition. Mayu cooperates; her hands are resting on the book that Kasumi canāt help peeking at between each exchange. Arenāt you stiff? Gently bouncing her shoulder against her neighbourās, Kasumi asks, āwhatās your sport? Wait! Let me guessā¦ā She looks at Mayuās legsāwhich makes Mayuās index rub the book, riffling the corner repeatedly in an impatient chirp which stands out among the overall ambient mix of conversations and coachās muffled drive by its distinguishing texture. Drrrtā¦ Drrrtā¦ Drrrtā¦
āAre you a ājumperā?ā asks Kasumi as she makes eye contact again.
Mayuās index stops. āIām a sprinter,ā she says to end the exam. āFor one, two and four hundred metres. Do my legs look toned?ā
[[ cut: disturbed by the boys behind]]
ā[[...]]ā says Kasumi with a low voice, and then cheerful again, āmy job today is to take great pictures of your feat!ā
āThank you. Butā¦ Maybe youāll have to cover the whole team.ā
āEh? Iām the photographer, so I judge whoās an artistic subject.ā
Mayu chuckles. āButā¦ Wonāt you get in trouble?ā
āItās fine! Iāll shoot girls. Both clubs will love it.ā
Mayu bites her lips and nods. She ventures, āandā¦ youā¦ Do youāā
āTell me your schedule. Races and breaks.ā Kasumi takes out a black pen and rummages in her other pockets. āIāll make you a star, so you better crush the other runners.ā
Mayu laughs and beams at Kasumi. Looking back at her book, she brushes her hair and makes up her mind. With the tip of two fingers, and guarding the other fingers away from Kasumiās hand, she picks up her pen. She writes a few lines on the white cover interior, pauses, and biting her lips she adds a last line. She tears down that part of the paper cover, folds it and hands it over to Kasumi. āHere is my schedule.ā
Itās the abridged schedule andā¦ a phone number. Haha, I seeā¦ You sly gayā¦ Well done! Kasumiās smiling eyes keep going from the paper she holds on to as a proof, to Mayuās increasingly embarrassed eyes, and back.
Mayu waves her hands. āItās just in caseā¦ Just in caseā¦ In case weā¦ā
What are you afraid of? Kasumi extends her arm to collect the pen, closing her hand on Mayuās fingers that she lets go in the same move. āIn case I canāt find you,ā Kasumi suggests.
āYes!ā Mayu lowers her hands.
āIn the case your schedule changes.ā
āYes!ā Mayu relaxes her shoulders.
āIn case we need to talk more.ā
āYes! Wait! Whatā¦ what do you mean?ā Mayu stiffens anew.
āDonāt worry!ā Kasumi beams at Mayu. āItās just in case I want to talk.ā
Mayu grasps her book and fidgets. āIām sorry, I thought youā¦ Ahā¦ Donāt mind me.ā She raises her book open, hides her face in it; a small bookmark drops on her thighs. The book dampens what she mutters, āIām so stupid!ā
Kasumi extends her hand toward Mayuās thighs; it startles her as soon as it comes into sight below the book aperture.
āWhat! What are you doing?ā Mayu says, raising her head off the book, with a sad blend of perplexity and anger.
Kasumi retreats. āDonāt worry! Iāā
āAre you making fun of me? Is that a game for you?ā Mayu says.
āEh? Why? Your bookmark had fallen, so Iāā
āAh! Yesā¦ Sorry.ā Mayu claps her book closed, pressing its edge on her forehead and nose, like an opened-eye prayer that helps her to breathe. The book is probably thin enough to let her see her two fields of vision as one undivided horizon. Mayu sighs. āItās confusing, Iām sorry.ā
Kasumi swiftly picks up the bookmark and puts it on the shelf.
āThanks,ā says Mayu. āI donātā¦ Iām not sure what sideā¦ Youāre not helping.ā
āEh? Only you know where your bookmark was.ā
Mayu has a faint smile before piling her book, forearms and headāalmost buriedāon the shelf. āSure,ā she says with a muffled voice. Her shoulders slump. āIāll rest for a while.ā
Kasumi considers Mayuās back, the curve of the spine, the lower back of the rib cage, the subtle breathing moves, still irregular. Are you crying? No. Good.
2024.05.28 18:36 Undercoverspinmop When will a provider listen to me?
I've been to two different providers now, hoping someone will take my concerns seriously. I have every textbook symptom of Cushings, both providers say I don't show anything. I'm a female (25yrs, 315lbs), and l've gained over 40lbs in less than three years. I eat a balanced diet, exercise, and realistically should be dropping weight, however, I keep gaining. My A1C is prediabetic range and is climbing, I have the Buffalo hump, purple stretch marks, my liver functions tests keep coming back all wonky (which is also a concern, but I'm thinking it could be related to the rapid weight gain), all my weight gain pools in my mid-section, moon face, etc. I'm at a loss. I was so hopeful with this second provider that I would get some help or pointed in the right direction, just got told to "eat a balanced diet and try using MyFitnessPal" as if l've never heard of that before. I need help and I don't know what to do.
submitted by Undercoverspinmop to AskDocs [link] [comments]