Hi everyone, I have a really great opportunity to build an X2 m35i exactly in my spec with an MSRP 55k at <50k USD. I actually really like the look of the car (I'm weird I know), and have always preferred coupe SUVs to the conventional (again, weird, I know). That being said, I was wondering if anyone had any experience with the car, particular the comfort and sizing. I haven't seen an x2 in person yet, and planning to of course before committing to the purchase, but:
how much smaller is it that the current x4?
what's the comfort of the vehicle like daily driving to work and back?
and how's the infotainment?
I have a NA c63 v8 as my fun car, so looking for something with some decent space, reliability, comfort zippy motor character and M styling.
Ideally, something a little smaller than an x3 is perfect
Thanks everyone!

Hello /AnimeFigures, and welcome again to the Bootleg Megathread!
Please use this thread to post any and all questions you might have regarding counterfeit figures. This includes questions such as “Is my figure a bootleg?” and “Can I trust this seller?”.
Remember to be as detailed as possible when asking for help. Provide clear pictures (ideally, multiple) or a link to the item you’re looking to buy, depending on what you’re asking. Let us know why you think this might be a bootleg, or why you don’t trust this seller. Also keep in mind that different types of figures vary in quality. For example, a prize figure won't have the same level of detail or quality as a scaled figure.
As bootlegs are a serious problem for anyone who enjoys collecting, we are also happy to provide you with a few tips to spotting them yourselves. We encourage you guys to practice these tips before posting here.

For figures you already have:

• Examine your retailer. Are they known to sell counterfeits? Keep in mind that all retailers on the sidebar are approved by /AnimeFigures, and do not sell bootlegs.
  
• Was the price far lower then the current average?
  
• Check MFC for known counterfeits. If a figure has any there will be red text indicating so on that figure’s listing. Click on the red text to see pictures of the bootleg.
  
• Compare yours to the counterfeit and the user pictures- Do not compare yours to the prototype. (Comparison tip: Start with the hair. I usually find that the be the easiest place to spot differences!)
  
• Look for poor quality paint jobs, materials, or sculpt work (lots of "coloring outside the lines", shiny skin, missing textures or gradients, ect).
  
• Examine the box. Some bootleg boxes are very easy to spot, and some- not so much. Look for a holo sticker of authenticity.
  

Past Bootleg Megathreads can be found here, for reference only. Please be sure to only post in the current one.

For figures you're looking to buy:

General Tips:

• Examine your retailer. Are they known to sell counterfeits? Keep in mind that all retailers on the sidebar are approved by /AnimeFigures, and do not sell bootlegs.
  
• Is the price far lower then the current average?
  
• Check item descriptions carefully. Bootlegs may be listed under fake brands rather than the known manufacturer. They may also contain descriptions like "China version" to avoid admitting that they are fake; similar weasel-word terms include "hand-made" (and its often-associated "item size may vary") and "colors may differ on your screen".
  
• Check MFC for a shop review listing.
  

Ebay Checklist:

1. Price.

• Again. Seriously, have I mentioned that yet? Insanely low prices should be throwing up some serious alert signals.

2. Look for pictures of the actual product, that the seller took.

• A lot of sellers like to list their items with the official photos put out by the manufacturer. Check MFC if you're unsure of what you’re looking at. If the pictures under "official" on MFC are the same as the ones on eBay, then they were not taken by the seller. Some sellers are just lazy and don't want to take pictures for every listing, but some use that as a trick to make you think you're getting an official item, when you're really going to get a bootleg.
• When in doubt, ask the seller for pictures of the actual product. If they ignore you, or say they can't do that, move on to a different listing.

3. Check their feedback.

• Look specifically for feedback where the buyer received a bootleg. This is usually going to be in the "negative feedback" section.

4. Check where it ships from.

• eBay is really good about letting you know where an item is shipping from. If it ships from China, that's a bad sign.

Frequently Asked Bootleg Questions:

1. Is AliExpress a good website to buy from?

• No, stay away from AliExpress. As far as figures are concerned, they only sell bootlegs.

2. How about Wish? And Mercari?

• Wish appears to be nearly as bad as AliExpress in terms of bootleg frequency. User reports from Mercari depict a wide range of scenarios, with good sellers mixed in with people egregiously marking up their merchandise and more than a few bootlegs. Use with caution.

3. Is Amazon.com a good source for figures?

• The increased use of the practice of commingling inventory has led to an increase in the amount of counterfeit merchandise appearing on Amazon. This increases the possibility of receiving a bootleg from them even if the seller appears to be otherwise trustworthy (even for "shipped and sold by Amazon.com"), and should be considered a reason to avoid them if possible. If one does choose to buy figures on Amazon, particularly with third-party sellers, apply the same criteria for price, seller photos, and deceptive descriptions as one would for a seller anywhere else, though the commingling issue will remain unless the item's path to the buyer is specified. Amazon listings may copy images and descriptive text from other sites. Be particularly careful to check that the company in the "Brand" line matches the item's official producer, and watch for questionable text as mentioned above.

4. My Nintendo nendoroid/Figma has a white, square sticker, rather then the shiny oval one that can be found in the official pictures on MFC. Does that mean I have a bootleg?

• No, the square sticker is also legitimate.

A Related Topic:

• People often ask about the legitimacy and/or safety of a number of websites which sell large resin statues. The more commonly-asked of those deal primarily in resins from studios which do not have a license from the Japanese IP holders to produce merchandise. Therefore links to those sites are not permitted here. Another indicator is if MyFigureCollection doesn't list the either the statue, its manufacturer, or the shop it's being sold on. While MFC does not list every legitimate item for various reasons, it does reject unlicensed ones. __________________________

Past Bootleg Megathreads can be found here, for reference only. Please be sure to only post in the current one.
Thanks TychoRC for creating this guide and helping answer questions!

I have a code example further below, but the main question I wanted to present: What are some best practices while debugging? how do you utialize the step-through tools? (i spent like an hour trying to step my program, but it just kept jumping over my problem function and printing the same error). Do you use print messages? What happens when a function doesnt run, but the program reports no errors? (Googling something silly like, 'my function doesnt execute' will give you a million results.) I am trying very hard to retain the specific programming vocabulary to better my searches, but you dont know what you dont know.
I do fine when I get error codes, but lately ive been hitting some snags when the program doesnt return any errors, but it doesnt work the way I believe it should. I am currently learning out of a book, and it seems like when I get some inspiration and try drawing outside of the lines I quickly get a slap on the wrist.
My biggest fear being self taught is that I will miss some key skills in producing my own programs later; debugging seems like a major skill I would like to be efficent at.
**********************
My specific code (c++):
There is probably a lot wrong with the code below, it was mostly an experiment after learning arrays and getting curious I tried building a multidemensional array, putting an array into an array. But thats not where the problem is (theres probably a problem there, but its not my current problem). I have a specific function within the program that is behaving oddly, I try and add print messages to single out the error, but the messages dont print yet the function does print a value. I've kinda narrowed it down and I am guessing maybe a weird initialization thing somewhere, but that just points back to my original quesiton, how would I really know the issue?
I did my best to comment my thought process throughout the code, and the key pieces of the functions. Basically function INT fortuneTold(); is printing a value, but not the right value, and when I put a print into the function it appears the program is completely skipping the function call, and just returning a true value maybe?

#include  #include  #include  #define houseSize 6 using namespace std; int house[houseSize] = {0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0}; //prototypes int rng(int n); void buildHouse(int n); int hexIndex(int n, int k); int fortuneTold(); //this function has problems //main int main(){ srand(time(NULL)); buildHouse(houseSize); cout << fortuneTold << endl; //this call is returning 1 and thats wrong } //functions int rng(int n){ return (rand() % n) + 1; } void buildHouse(int n){ //builds a global array, i plan to referrence throughout the program int loopCount = 0; while(loopCount < 3){ for(int i = 0; i < n; i++){ house[i] += rng(2) + 1; } loopCount++; } for(int i = 0; i < n; i++){ cout << house[i] << " ";} cout << endl; //just a print to show this function works } int fortuneTold(){ cout << "im in here\n"; //not printing, cant explain!!! int tempHouse [houseSize]; for(int i = 0; i < houseSize; i++){ //tempArray changes the house[] variables to values 1 or 0 if(house[i] == 6 house[i] == 8){ tempHouse[i] = false; } else { tempHouse[i] = true; } cout << tempHouse[i] << " ";//cout trying to troubleshoot } int tempHex = 0, k = 0; while(k < houseSize){ cout << tempHex << " " << k;//another cout if(tempHouse[k] != hexIndex(tempHex, k)){ //compare arrays.at[i] then reset loop with next array tempHex++; k = 0;} else {k++;} } if(tempHex > 2){//edge case because I removed part of index below return 42; } return tempHex;//printing as 1, but initialized as 0 } int hexIndex(int n, int k){ int hex [64][houseSize]; int ch_ien [houseSize] = {true, true, true, true, true, true}; for(int i = 0; i < houseSize; i++){ hex[0][i] = ch_ien[i]; } int kou [houseSize] = {true, true, true, true, true, false}; for(int i = 0; i < houseSize; i++){ hex[1][i] = kou[i]; } int t_ungJen [houseSize] = {true, true, true, true, false, true}; for(int i = 0; i < houseSize; i++){ hex[2][i] = t_ungJen[i];} //manually change hexagram[1,2,3..] and merging array name //idk how to automate =( //I cut out the other index items to shorten code for reddit return hex[n][k]; } 8 8 8 9 6 7 1 dub@penguin:~/cppwofear$ ./reddit 8 7 6 7 8 7 1 

Expected: n n n n n n
42

Hey there! I'm reaching out for advice, especially from those who were adopted at birth. I'm a birth parent, but I can't fully grasp the adoptee's perspective. Let me give you a bit of background.
I've always dreamed of having a big, happy family, probably because my own upbringing was far from ideal. Growing up, I had a deadbeat dad who disappeared when I was a teen, leaving me to deal with a narcissistic mom who made my life a living hell. Despite these challenges, I became a mom myself at just 16. Raising my son, J, amidst the chaos of my own teenage years was tough, but I fought tooth and nail to give him the best life possible. It wasn't easy, especially with my abusive ex constantly in the picture, making custody battles a regular occurrence. Then, when I was 21 and already struggling to keep my head above water, I found out I was pregnant again. This time, I was homeless and alone, with no support from the baby's father who had ghosted me. Faced with an impossible situation, I made the heartbreaking decision to give my second child, D, up for adoption in the hopes that they would have a better life than I could provide. Little did I know, the adoptive parents turned out to be just as abusive, if not worse, than my own parents. We were supposed to have an open adoption so I could get pictures and videos with updates at least, but it isn’t legally enforceable. Now I have no way of knowing if D is safe or alive or anything. I don’t know what they look like or sound like.
It's been a long and painful journey, but with the help of therapy and a strong support system, I've managed to pick up the pieces of my life. Now, at 26, I'm engaged to my best friend of 8 years, and we're planning our wedding. One of the things that drew me to him is our shared dream of having children, a decent sized family. He's eager to be a stepdad to J, and the thought of starting a family with him fills me with both excitement, but also dread. On one hand, I long to experience the joys of parenthood again, to have the chance to raise a child in a loving and stable environment finally. But on the other hand, I can't shake the guilt and fear that come with the memory of giving D up for adoption.
Would it be fair to J, who has already been through so much, to bring another child into our lives? And what about D? How would they feel knowing that I gave them up to care for J, only to have more children later on? These thoughts weigh heavily on my mind, and I haven't talked about this with my fiancé yet, not because I fear his reaction—he's always been supportive and loving—but because I don't want to cause him anxiety or hurt him. He's always dreamed of having kids, and I know it would devastate him if I decide otherwise. So, if you were adopted at birth, I'd love to hear your perspective on this. How would you feel if your birth parents went on to have more children after giving you up for adoption?

Hello all,
First time posting abou this and TLDR I founded a company 18 months ago and our recent round values our business at +$10m
I was a late starter to entrepreneurialism and had a good length stint in finance (trying one startup while still being employed) before founding my current business. My family has an entrepreneurial background and because of this, I have always had ambitions for building a business but I genuinely was too afraid to take the risk (for whatever reason). Having now ran the company for just over a year, we have been a lot more successfully than i could have anticipated which has culminated in a proper valuation. While we still have a long way to go (you never know what happens), I guess you have to enjoy the milestones when they come
Some things I have learned.

1. Take the risk - if you are fortunate to find a problem to which you can realistically create a solution, you are on the right track. If this solution has a big enough market (it doesn't have to be a multi billion opportunity) and you can find some potential customers who confirm they would pay, you are wasting your time not taking the risk.
2. Markets don't have to be $100bn in size. VC's will often say that the addressable market needs to be ginormous to even attempt. While it may be true for them to make their 10x return, it is not true for you. If you can get 1% of a $100m market which has high margins and is easy to access, you can begin to build a valuable business.
3. Stay close to home - my first attempt at creating my own business was in a market that I saw from a distance. Because I didn't have direct business involvement in this market, I could not see the actual pitfalls of the industry and how my assumptions underlying my business model were flawed from the outset....
4. Don't throw good money after bad - the only good part of my first business (that failed) was that I quickly saw the flaws in my model, determined I could not solve them and closed the business, staying in my current job. I didn't take angel investment which meant that my current business was not tarred by that early opportunity.
5. Staffing is COMPLICATED - anyone can build the ideal model for an ideal business. Very driven people can even build the infrastructure and launch the business, but the next step is building out your staff. By definition each incremental staff member is less incentivised than the earlier staff member (less options, less responsibility). I have found running a team of staff one of the most complicated parts of our business. It is a completely different skill-set to turn your employee base into a devoted tribe and I have made plenty of mistakes along the way.
6. Keep the burn down - It is not sexy to boast about how much money your start-up burns. Contrary to popular belief, businesses are supposed to make money. In building the business, I have built our software in steps. For example, when I wasn't making that many invoices, I didn't need to automate invoices. Furthermore, I have built the business (a software platform) as revenue generating features first and useful back end improvements second. I was also more apprehensive adding staff in the early stages which meant our initial growth generated strain and long hours. We have now exited that part of our growth but keeping a tight ship is the only way to show fiscal responsibility.
7. Have a co-founder - It's fucking tough. You will be in tears, sweats and anxious at some points, at others you will feel the highest of highs. It's a grind and a rollercoaster; most people are normal human beings, you need someone to balance you out. When we went through two quiet days, I was panicking that something fundamental had gone wrong. My co-founder helped me rationalise that business isn't a straight line.
8. "Why can't a larger player just copy you" - you will hear this from any investor you pitch to, your employees and yourself. If that statement were true, there wouldn't be millions of small businesses in the world. Clearly there is some complexity to copycatting. Most times you don't realise that big players don't care about you and they are unlikely to copy a minnow and spend millions of dollars in the process. If you have something truly unique, a purchase is more likely.
9. Go into existing markets, don't create new ones - The big ideas that haven't been done before sound super sexy. "Did you know 200 million cups of coffee are drunk every day in the States, we are going to make a Deliveroo for coffee! Just 1% will make us MILLIONS". Creating a completely new market requires MASSIVE capital, MASSIVE time and constantly fails. Look for a market that exists, create a business that segments that market by solving a particular problem. Your customers already know you, they already feel the problem, when you present the solution, some will buy in.
10. Know your value precisely if you're exiting - If you're considering exiting your business, knowing its precise value is crucial. (easter egg) Our valuation tool can give you an initial estimate of your business's worth. For a more precise valuation, once you fill out the form, an M&A expert from our team will reach out to provide you with a detailed, free valuation if you're interested.

I'm sure I am missing quite a few other important lessons. It would be great to hear from other founders

https://www.google.com/maps/d/viewer?mid=164xSm3dAuPEWvBPrASER3FJCp8gnwwQ&ll=42.45871356680026%2C-103.44456741220282&z=5
I don't think this has been done yet, apologies if I'm wrong about that.
This is a map I made combining the exisiting passenger rail network with every major passenger rail proposal I could find details on, to get an idea of how they could all work together to form one coherent national network. The sources I pulled from include:
Amtrak Connects Us - https://www.amtrakconnectsus.com/maps/
Planned and proposed commuter lines- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commuter_rail_in_North_America#List_of_under_construction_and_planned_systems
FRA Long Distance Study - https://fralongdistancerailstudy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/FRA_LDSS_Presentation_for_Web_Meeting3_Optimized.pdf
FRA Corridor ID - https://railroads.dot.gov/sites/fra.dot.gov/files/2023-12/FY22%20CID%20Project%20Summaries-Map-r1.pdf
FRA Regional Rail Plans - https://railroads.dot.gov/rail-network-development/planning/systems-planning/regional-rail-planning
FRA Vision for High Speed Rail - https://railroads.dot.gov/sites/fra.dot.gov/files/fra_net/1468/hsrstrategicplan.pdf
Every State Rail Plan - https://railroads.dot.gov/rail-network-development/planning/systems-planning/inventory-state-rail-plans
Line points represent stations and state border crossings. Any line point that isn't on a state border means a station is located there. Not all trains operating on a given line will stop at every station they pass.
Thin black lines represent conventional rail lines, with speeds up to 125 mph. Imagine most current Amtrak and commuter trains.
Medium thickness purple lines represent upgraded, mixed use high speed lines, with speeds ranging from 125 to 175 mph. Commuter, regional, intercity, long distance, and frieght trains may share the ROW with high speed trains in these areas. Imagine the way Acela currently works.
Thick red lines represent dedicated high speed lines, with speeds ranging from 175 to 225 mph. High speed trains will have these areas to themselves to operate at their full potential. Imagine what CAHSR is building.
Many of these proposals lack precise details, so exact alignments and the exact locations and frequency of stations is, in many cases, speculative. I tried to use existing ROW's where possible, but there are several lines that are routed down abandoned or even entirely new ROW's. As most proposals did not list intended station stops, I had to make an educated guess as to where they may be located. When doing so, I considered several factors:
Type of train service
Size of towns along the line
Locations of universities, Native American reservations, and national parks
Station density on other nearby lines
Historical precedent
I hope I was able to get the balance right, but if you see any stations that you don't think belong, or any locations that should have a station but don't, please let me know in the comments. Also, feel free to ask me anything else about my routings, sources, or anything else! :)

https://www.google.com/maps/d/viewer?mid=164xSm3dAuPEWvBPrASER3FJCp8gnwwQ&ll=42.45871356680026%2C-103.44456741220282&z=5
I don't think this has been done yet, apologies if I'm wrong about that.
This is a map I made combining the exisiting passenger rail network with every major passenger rail proposal I could find details on, to get an idea of how they could all work together to form one coherent national network. The sources I pulled from include:
Amtrak Connects Us - https://www.amtrakconnectsus.com/maps/
Planned and proposed commuter lines- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commuter_rail_in_North_America#List_of_under_construction_and_planned_systems
FRA Long Distance Study - https://fralongdistancerailstudy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/FRA_LDSS_Presentation_for_Web_Meeting3_Optimized.pdf
FRA Corridor ID - https://railroads.dot.gov/sites/fra.dot.gov/files/2023-12/FY22%20CID%20Project%20Summaries-Map-r1.pdf
FRA Regional Rail Plans - https://railroads.dot.gov/rail-network-development/planning/systems-planning/regional-rail-planning
FRA Vision for High Speed Rail - https://railroads.dot.gov/sites/fra.dot.gov/files/fra_net/1468/hsrstrategicplan.pdf
Every State Rail Plan - https://railroads.dot.gov/rail-network-development/planning/systems-planning/inventory-state-rail-plans
Line points represent stations and state border crossings. Any line point that isn't on a state border means a station is located there. Not all trains operating on a given line will stop at every station they pass.
Thin black lines represent conventional rail lines, with speeds up to 125 mph. Imagine most current Amtrak and commuter trains.
Medium thickness purple lines represent upgraded, mixed use high speed lines, with speeds ranging from 125 to 175 mph. Commuter, regional, intercity, long distance, and frieght trains may share the ROW with high speed trains in these areas. Imagine the way Acela currently works.
Thick red lines represent dedicated high speed lines, with speeds ranging from 175 to 225 mph. High speed trains will have these areas to themselves to operate at their full potential. Imagine what CAHSR is building.
Many of these proposals lack precise details, so exact alignments and the exact locations and frequency of stations is, in many cases, speculative. I tried to use existing ROW's where possible, but there are several lines that are routed down abandoned or even entirely new ROW's. As most proposals did not list intended station stops, I had to make an educated guess as to where they may be located. When doing so, I considered several factors:
Type of train service
Size of towns along the line
Locations of universities, Native American reservations, and national parks
Station density on other nearby lines
Historical precedent
I hope I was able to get the balance right, but if you see any stations that you don't think belong, or any locations that should have a station but don't, please let me know in the comments. Also, feel free to ask me anything else about my routings, sources, or anything else! :)

https://www.google.com/maps/d/viewer?mid=164xSm3dAuPEWvBPrASER3FJCp8gnwwQ&ll=42.45871356680026%2C-103.44456741220282&z=5
I don't think this has been done yet, apologies if I'm wrong about that.
This is a map I made combining the exisiting passenger rail network with every major passenger rail proposal I could find details on, to get an idea of how they could all work together to form one coherent national network. The sources I pulled from include:
Amtrak Connects Us - https://www.amtrakconnectsus.com/maps/
Planned and proposed commuter lines- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commuter_rail_in_North_America#List_of_under_construction_and_planned_systems
FRA Long Distance Study - https://fralongdistancerailstudy.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/FRA_LDSS_Presentation_for_Web_Meeting3_Optimized.pdf
FRA Corridor ID - https://railroads.dot.gov/sites/fra.dot.gov/files/2023-12/FY22%20CID%20Project%20Summaries-Map-r1.pdf
FRA Regional Rail Plans - https://railroads.dot.gov/rail-network-development/planning/systems-planning/regional-rail-planning
FRA Vision for High Speed Rail - https://railroads.dot.gov/sites/fra.dot.gov/files/fra_net/1468/hsrstrategicplan.pdf
Every State Rail Plan - https://railroads.dot.gov/rail-network-development/planning/systems-planning/inventory-state-rail-plans
Line points represent stations and state border crossings. Any line point that isn't on a state border means a station is located there. Not all trains operating on a given line will stop at every station they pass.
Thin black lines represent conventional rail lines, with speeds up to 125 mph. Imagine most current Amtrak and commuter trains.
Medium thickness purple lines represent upgraded, mixed use high speed lines, with speeds ranging from 125 to 175 mph. Commuter, regional, intercity, long distance, and frieght trains may share the ROW with high speed trains in these areas. Imagine the way Acela currently works.
Thick red lines represent dedicated high speed lines, with speeds ranging from 175 to 225 mph. High speed trains will have these areas to themselves to operate at their full potential. Imagine what CAHSR is building.
Many of these proposals lack precise details, so exact alignments and the exact locations and frequency of stations is, in many cases, speculative. I tried to use existing ROW's where possible, but there are several lines that are routed down abandoned or even entirely new ROW's. As most proposals did not list intended station stops, I had to make an educated guess as to where they may be located. When doing so, I considered several factors:
Type of train service
Size of towns along the line
Locations of universities, Native American reservations, and national parks
Station density on other nearby lines
Historical precedent
I hope I was able to get the balance right, but if you see any stations that you don't think belong, or any locations that should have a station but don't, please let me know in the comments. Also, feel free to ask me anything else about my routings, sources, or anything else! :)

Hello everyone, I would like to hear people's thoughts on how they are going to use this when it comes out.
Will you use the current software it ships with, or will you replace it with something else? And if so what will you use and why?
Will you replace the SD cards with your own and what size will you use?
I know it's hard to fully say what should be done when it hasn't released yet.
I'm very excited about the RG35XXSP I plan on getting one I'm trying to prepare myself for the best experience.

“the initial grip of fear, that turns into the unexpected earning for your capture.”
the poetry in here is about survival and surrender. it delves into the complexities of a karmic love. being trapped in a situation, while still being aware of its toxicity. my poems are meant to convey the tumultuous journey of being in love with a narcissist. (your “capture”) the lessons you learn, as painful as they can be, invite you to take a step into the shadow side of love. if you feel at home here, I’m truly sorry. there is a way out. I hope you break free. -with so much love, gillian.
and when you retreat,
i’ll wear this shirt for days.
intoxicating & sweet,
with your cologne interlaced.
breathing in your deceit,
it kind of feels like mace.
denial mixed with defeat.

• i’ve always had bad taste.

i knew you weren’t game.
still i chose to play.
it isn't fair to blame.
believe me, i carry my own shame.
poured myself into your glass,
played the waiting game.
leaking through your cracks,
our imperfections the same.
-i recognize a glass half full, even when it’s shattered.
every summer, we reheat.
you left your roots behind
seasons change, but cycles repeat.
if you see the same tree in the forest twice,
it’s time to face defeat.
must come to terms,
the truth can be bleak.
-you’re lost.
got a god complex,
but you’re not religious.
searching for who’s next.
never fearing Jesus.
sit back & count your checks.
blame your mistakes on demons.
make your excuses.
you’ve got your reasons.
-false prophecy
you remind me of an onion.
make me cry as I peel away at you,
in search for your seed.
but you’re just a facade of skins.
layers of deception,
concealing the truth.
disappointing.
you have no core,
only hollow creed.
-my mother’s disdain for onions.
there’s always been a haze between us.
murky, convoluted, undefined.
more than friends, less than lovers.
simultaneously strangers.
but in this ambiguity, I find solace.
-for grey is my favorite color.
i’ll play bartender,
make you something nice.
your heart in my hand,
gripping your ice.
drain me dry,
leave me hollow & still.
next week you’ll return,
thirsty for your refill.
-whiskey sour
bittersweet.
should have read the label.
“poison”
sitting so pretty on my table.
calling like an offering,
tempting & fatal.
it won’t go down smooth,
leave me unstable.
i tried to resist, i was unable.
now i see that love exists,
but only in fables.
-why do mistakes taste so good?
your lips left a bruise.
just here to distract.
but i admit i’m confused
when you kiss me like that.
aware i’m being used.
still comfortable where i’m at.
position i choose
complacent doormat.
-welcome home
you prefer car rides.
a space to talk, yet evade my gaze.
unable to sit still, restless in your ways.
never one to settle, always seeking the next best fling.
oh, how I long for the days when adderall made you sing.
-my fuel light is on
I broke my own heart,
more times than a few.
i may have lied,
but never to you.
if i faced the truth,
then what’s left to do?
i’m comfortable here,
wasting my youth.
i hate to admit it,
but i know it’s true.
i’m scared of change,
you run from it too.
i won’t forgive myself,
for always forgiving you.
-can you be home sick from people too?
You’re dead to me.
-Necrophiliac.
come on.
i forgave you,
without an apology.
convinced myself it was closure.
started our anthology.
this will never be over.
it’s in our biology.
let’s have a do over.
can you just come fuck me?
-delusional. & i can’t rhyme either.
i’ll read between your lines,
decipher each clue.
search for the signs,
follow your cue.
you’ve spun me around,
think i’ve lost a few screws.
still i rise, dust off the bruise.
maybe i’m drawn to a challenge,
perhaps it’s not you.
denial is my shield.
my safe space, my refuge.
the truth will not prevail
defeat? i refuse.
my final boss,
I aim to subdue.
-sore loser.
my mom said i felt cold.
I always tell the truth.
the words escaped my mouth.
“i get it from you.”
funny, she hugs me now.
never in my youth.
conceal carry my trauma.
play it cool, keep it smooth.
use my words as a weapon.
daddy taught me how to shoot.
-target practice
it’s lonely as a ghost,
been trapped here for years.
lingering around,
mopping up your tears.
do you sense my presence?
can you feel me near?
if I dare make a sound,
will you even hear?
or am I just a whisper?
it’s never been quite clear.
promised to stay beside you,
my love was sincere.
-invisible
afraid to release
what's just a mist.
I must learn to respect
your lack of interest.
hard pill to swallow,
if i could just take the hint.
i hate letting go
of what doesn't exist.
-maybe i’m the problem
chasing you down as you flee,
why look back, just to see?
i’m gaining distance, is this what you need?
only now I realize, I'm your source of glow.
i feed your flame, you need me to grow.
without my warmth, will your embers persist?
or will they die out, because I was your wick?
I can go the distance, even do it quick.
didn’t think I could pass you but, tag, you're it.
so when your lost in the dark,
just look for my light.
for my flames eternal.
vivacious and bright.
-Ruled by the Sun.
you love her like a one-way mirror.
boosting your ego, making thoughts clearer.
she stands before you, but can you even see her?
soon her time will come, to be valued, to be known.
to be more than a reflection, to be art on her own.
-shattered
i feel as though i’m trapped
in a museum.
exhibits of my past.
meticulously preserved & on display.
forced to observe and to my dismay..
no exits.
-i don’t like it here
i am an esteemed professor.
teaching you how to love.
i am a well-traveled guide.
leading you to your full potential.
i am a warrior.
going to battle for your reputation.
i am an artist.
molding you into your greatest self.
i am a generous humanitarian.
donating my most precious piece to another women.
she sees no flaws.
enamored by your beauty.
a saw the hardened marble slab
i chiseled away for years.
only to reveal the beauty underneath for someone else to cherish.
-wasted potential
when we were pretending to be strangers, I loved you from afar.
when we were playing house,
I welcomed you with all my heart.
you left me here, with nothing but a scar.
sad and empty.
headed to a bar.
light up a cigarette.
fill me with tar.
I hope you think of me when you see a shooting star.
-maybe you loved me in a past life
only one day will i realize
the last thing i should feel is surprise
my personality has been downsized
because i chose to compromise
with a man wearing a disguise
your plan was always devised
but I’ll meet you at our spot
-king sized
you can fill your bed with anyone.
but who can fill your void?
you’ll never solve the puzzle
-sincerely, the missing piece.
ravenous for praise.
the apex predator.
you feed on the weak.
but never leave satisfied.
your greedy but insatiable.
devoured your feast
how can you be famished?
-taste me and see me why you’ve been starving
there’s things i wanna say to you.
but i’ll just let you be.
you have a way of always avoiding
-accountability
you’ve got walls up
but i know where the windows are
-can i come in?
maybe you do
love me
but only in the dark
when no one’s watching
-conditional.
i wish i was tired of you.
forgiveness, i can’t escape.
they say patience is a virtue,
but it’s a habit i can’t break.
-if i had a dollar for all the times i should have blocked you
the spot i had for you was soft.
made for you, a perfect fit.
delusion is wearing off.
disgust is starting to hit.
gave it all to you, at any cost.
-should have known it wasn’t permanent.
and just like that,
2 steps forward. 10 steps back.
why do i feel comfortable in this trap?
-i hope you run away and never come back
I don't wish you well, that would be too easy.
I wish you self-reflection.
-internal accountability.
i am the girl that learned
to do everything by myself.
to not depend on others to save me.
to fill up my time, or entertain me.
he said to go where i am appreciated, so i went to therapy.
-i’ll send you in the invoice.
in order to heal a wound,
you have to stop touching it.
-i have dermatillomania
thank you for reading! far from perfect but i took up writing as a way to express myself and it really helped me heal and process my emotions <3 thanks guys

Chapter 1

Concept art for Sybil
Of Men and Ghost Ships, Book 1: Chapter 18
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After the news of more arrivals and what that implied, Carter turned around and looked at the girl. "How long until they get here?"
The girl seemed to be expecting that question. "We've got considerably more notice this time, but that's only because of the size of the distortion. Unfortunately, that same distortion makes it harder to be sure, but our best guess is they seem to be arriving in waves, with the vanguard arriving in maybe thirty minutes, give or take a ten-minute window. We'll be able to more accurately estimate as the time draws near."
Carter nodded. "How long will it take to decouple the ship you're cannibalizing?"
The girl took a moment to consider this. "Well, in order to recall all drones safely, the whole process would take close to five minutes, though obviously, that'll depend on what parts they are currently involved in removing."
Carter nodded. "Alright, take what you can get, but be ready to drop what you're doing with plenty of time to spare so we can cut and run. I'm not looking to commit suicide today!"
Erik, who seemed pretty calm despite the news, looked up with interest. "What about our crew mates drifting out in their escape pods?"
Carter looked at the larger alien and tried to figure out what was going on in his head. Would he get violent if Carter said he was just gonna leave them to their fates? Not that he wanted to just leave them out here to be butchered, but taking an entire crew onboard this ship was just asking for a hostile takeover. On the other hand, was he so monstrous he'd just leave people to the same fate he'd come so close to experiencing not so long ago?
Carter started to open his mouth to say he was sorry, but the girl cut him off. "Captain. You might want to speak with the rest of the crew before making a decision like that."
Right, despite how they were behaving in front of their "guests," he didn't have unilateral control. He looked over toward the viking alien. "I'll ask you to remain in the dining hall for a bit. I need to head to the bridge for now, and I'll decide after speaking with the crew."
For once, Erik wasn't grinning, but he didn't argue either, and he nodded to Carter. "Fair enough, I suppose. Just don't take too long and leave us out to dry while you make up your mind."
Carter simply nodded and took his leave.
As he walked onto the bridge, the vixen and the pirate were already there, and the girl walked up behind him. With everyone present, Carter dove right in. "Alright, so you all know what's happening and what's at stake. What are we going to do with the people in the escape pods?"
Predictably, the vixen didn't seem overly sympathetic. "We weren't the ones who put them in those pods. We have no responsibility to stretch out our necks to save them."
Also, predictably, the pirate seemed to be on the other side of that equation. "These lads fought the good fight and deserve another chance to fight again! I say we take them on as additional crew!"
With that, it came down to the one Carter had been wondering about. The girl hesitated a moment as if giving this careful thought. "...There is some risk with taking so many people onboard...and I'm not big on the idea of letting so many people see the inner workings of the Sybil at one time...but I can't bring myself to leave these people out here to die, either... I vote we take them in."
That put Carter in an odd position. He'd all but decided these people were too much of a risk to take on, and with his tie-breaker authority, he could say they were just going to cut and run, and the others would go with it. However, he found himself hesitating, if only because he questioned any decision that would leave him siding only with the vixen regarding how they were going to treat other people. After a little bit of consideration, he shook his head. "Alright, fine. We'll take on anyone who can make it in time, but we'll have to take some precautions, such as limiting their access to the ship, etc. We can work out the details after we're clear. It's not like they're in any position to argue..."
-
The captain nodded. "That seems more than fair. I will relay your offer...thank you."
Carter couldn't help but notice that he seemed somewhat subdued. However, that was easily explained by his being in one of the furthest groups of escape pods, unlikely to make it in time. It was difficult to look a man in the eye and know that he could likely measure his remaining time in minutes rather than years. All Carter could offer was a half-hearted "Good luck, Captain." before ending the transmission.
Carter looked over at the three Sybils. "How much will we be able to get from the pirate ship before getting out of here?"
The girl appeared to be looking through various charts. "Well, not all of it will be immediately available, as it'll need to be processed and installed, but we should get enough to restore the Sybil to roughly seventy-three percent of operational capacity."
Carter nodded. "And how much will be immediately available?"
The pirate seemed to see where he was going with this and grinned as he answered. "Enough to give some pirates a serious black eye and bloody lip, boyo!"
Carter's grin mirrored the pirate's. At least he could do this much before running away. "Then what say we do just that?"
-
Elias scowled. He was in charge of leading the vanguard to "restore his lost honor." What good was honor if your ship was dead in the void? He knew the real reason he was leading the vanguard. In a three-on-one fight, he'd lost an entire ship in less than a minute. His competency was being questioned, and he needed to either prove himself here or lose his position as a strike team leader. Hell, he might even be demoted out of his captaincy. Not that anyone could typically remove a captain from his position on a pirate vessel without some bloodshed, but this was a new era, and the old rules no longer applied.
Not that it mattered. Elias wouldn't give his opponent the opportunity to perform the same stunt as before. Every ship was under orders to immediately raise shields and take evasive action upon reentering realspace. He would win the fight methodically this time rather than using brute force. If they were stupid enough to hang around, that is.
As soon as they appeared in real space again, Thomas immediately gave the same warning as last time. "Captain, we have incoming!"
Elias couldn't believe his luck. Not only were they still here, but they were stupid enough to try the same trick twice! He turned to the helm calmly. "Evasive maneuvers." Then, turning to communications, he added, "Tell the other ships to begin firing as soon as they have a clear shot of the main vessel!"
However, Thomas didn't seem like he was done. "Captain, they compensating! It's the Sybil, not a dead vessel!"
The Sybil? Were they trying to actually ram his ship? Elias turned to the helm with more urgency. "It's too big to match our maneuverability! Just take us out of their turning radius!"
The helmsman seemed rather focused. "Trying to captain!"
Elias could only stare in horror as the large vessel loomed closer and closer despite his helmsman's best attempts to turn away. However, it started to look like they'd squeak past by the skin of their teeth, and the other ships were pouring on fire even though it seemed they were unable to break through the Sybil's shields. Still, once the immediate danger of being rammed was passed, they could easily stay out of the larger ship's reach and add in their own munitions, forcing the larger ship to fight a four-on-one battle with reinforcements approaching or retreat.
As the two ships passed within spitting distance, alarms started blaring. Looking at his console, Elias could see the two ships had passed close enough that their shields were overlapping, sending powerful feedback into each other's systems, creating dead spots where shields should have been. It was an insane maneuver spoken about by the occasional seasoned captain that took such a degree of precision maneuvering and a lack of self-preservation that it hadn't seen use since the AI war half a century ago!
Realizing what was about to happen, Elias shouted, "Rotate the ship now!" but it was too late as the Sybil open-fired on the unshielded portions of the ship.
All Elias could do was ride out the storm. It seemed every alarm aboard the ship was screaming, and his ship felt as if it was being shaken to pieces as the Sybil poured an ungodly amount of ordinance onto the exposed side of his ship. A part of him wanted to run for the nearest escape pod, but doing so would only ensure his loss of command.
Then, almost as soon as it had started, it was over. The shaking finally stopped as the Sybil flew past. Elias turned to one of the few officers still seated at their station. "Statis?"
The officer's hands flew across the screen. "Sir, floors two and three on the port side are in ruins. Total losses. Floor one is evacuating personnel to vent the atmosphere to try and control several fires. We're more or less dead in space."
Elias's eyes narrowed. "And what of the Sybil? Are they coming around for another pass?"
The officer shook their head. "No, they seem to be headed for an escape jump. I think we're clear."
Elias settled into his seat as the remaining officers retook their positions. At least this wasn't a total loss; however, this wasn't exactly going to "restore his honor" either. As he watched the Sybil reach a safe distance and jump out of real space, he cursed the supposed ghost ship silently.
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Hmmm, that's a thing that happened! Now what?
My Wiki has all my chapters and stories, including the short series and stories that I write for an occasional change of pace or style!
If you like my work and want to support it, I do have a Patron! I also post short stories early there from time to time, so keep an eye out for those!

This might be a long read so brace yourself ...
When I'm asking if I'm being in the wrong here I only mean in terms of accountability and in regards to the situation and not so much about the wrong or right itself and would like some insight/advice basically..
TLDR:

Mixed feelings about a girl I just been dating for a few weeks or so? We only met around 2 times in person since she's somewhat busy. I feel like I'm putting more effort and energy than receiving it but unsure if it's just because the other person prefer taking things slow but I can't tell because whenever I ask her if she's interested, she's always kinda deflecting the subject. She's going to be away for the next 4 months so I won't be able to talk to her and our last convo this morning was kinda awkward ..

Relationships Background: I met my first ex a few months ago and she gave me a speedrun of everything most couple would usually do after a few months and since I didn't know any better I just went with it since she was my first everything. It ended with her initiating the breakup after less than a month after 2 weeks of long distance after she came to visit me. She gave me the "it's not you, it's me" and "you are the first one to treat me right" (she had multiple partners). She was also a bit insecure and sensitive and needed constant reassurance.
In the case of [HER], all her exes are by products of one night stands which ended up into relationship because they all asked her for one to her surprised and she just agreed with them. She described as liking them but not really ever falling in love with them so I guess I'm the first one to be fall into that category. In [HER] case, she is highly confident about herself and in what she accomplish (makes a lot more money than the average person). She gets self gratification from making money even though she can just live off her parents wealth but she finds having nothing to do boring so she became independent.
With that in mind, here's how this story starts.
On April 3rd, I reinstall Hinge because I want to have some new connection after moving on from my ex. It's not until April 23rd when I match with [HER]. At first I was surprised since I didn't expect it so I express my surprised via text in which she later explained her side via a voice note saying that she thought I looked like one of her students so she was afraid someone would recognize her which is her fear so she never matched with me. (I sent her a total of around 4 likes because I used to delete my account and make a new one again and her acc would always show and she kinda recognize from that as well.)
After that, we just exchange a lot of voice notes talking to each other about stuff and things which later I ask if its okay for me to ask her to go out on a date at this point. She then explains she has some requirements before actually going on a date with someone, she prefers getting someone a little bit more and seeing if we're compatible before meeting since she finds it weird how most people would rush which I agreed.
From there, we talk a bit more via voice note where she asks me what's my definition of love and my concept of relationships which she said almost is the same as hers. She explained for her to fall in love for someone it would at least take her 5 years or so and that's after they're able to past the 4 stages of love described in her own way; honeymoon phase, difference, compromise and initial stage of love.
The next day we just talk some more via text and and voice notes till 2 AM and what not talking about random things and life. At this point, I thought we had some good chemistry or so. We later talk about our exes and stuff.
A few days later I then try and ask again for a date since it felt like we had established some sort of rapport and knew a bit more of each other. She then tells me more about her schedule and how busy she'll be and how she'll be traveling soon in the next 2 weeks for her school stuff. At some point she said she had a symposium she was organizing at the university and I asked if it would be weird If I came to see her.
She said she didn't mind but wouldn't have time to cater me since it would be busy. Please also note that up until this point, I didn't know her real name since in Hinge she's using some random name and I didn't really ask her about it since I guess she didn't want to but I figure me showing up to that event, I would at least find what's her name which I did.
Anyways day comes and I show up to the event, it's is a medium size classroom. I didn't recognize her at first since she had a different haircut. I didn't wanna intrude or anything so I just sat there listening to the event till the end. I didn't really get the chance to talk to her or anything by the end since they had an after party and whatnot so I decided to head home instead feeling somewhat weird? So rather than just heading straight home I just sat there on the subway train listening to music instead. I texted her saying I wished we could have spent a bit of time together but you looked so busy and what not.
After a few minutes later I decide to head out for a walk because I was just feeling weird, I then see a text from her inviting me to help with returning books to the library if I want to which I agreed. To my surprised she showed up with two luggages .. which we just walked around till we reach the library. From there, I got to finally meet her in person and talk to her for a bit. I thought we had a good time, by the end I walked her home and that was mostly. We just kinda waved to her each and say goodbye to each other. I was kinda thirsty that night so I asked her for water but she gave me some korean brand banana juice instead. I then later send her a text thanking her for inviting me to help her which she doesn't reply to.
She's usually only replies if I initiate the conversation first which then let me gaslight myself into thinking it's because she's probably busy .. anyways we text each other for a bit that night because I asked for her number later instead of using Hinge. I then get somewhat down bad and ask if I can see her again tomorrow in which she replies "what's the benefit of seeing you again tomorrow?" which I thought was funny but she was serious. She had to write her REB so I guess she didn't really have time.
It's then the weekend and on the morning of Saturday she invites me to join her to the library and then we can eat at some place later if I want to where she'll be busy working on some stuff. She emphasize that she'll be annoyed if she is disturbed while trying to get work done which I didn't mind since my work is online and I only need a laptop to work.
I showed up at the library a bit early and letting her know, she then tells me she's going to get some coffee nearby first and then meet me so I wait for her at the library. Around 30 min goes by and I start getting a bit worried because she still hasn't showed up and hasn't given me any updates at which point I text her if anything is alright or if she's safe and what not. I get no answers for a bit then later she texts me she's inside where I was on my way to the coffee so I go back inside and then we just sit near each other and focus on our work. I give her the same korean banana juice which I found later at some korean market I went by to buy before meeting her. A few hours goes by we then go to a japanese place by walking there so I get to speak with her for a bit which was nice. I then pay for the bill then walk her home and then again we just wave to each other and say goodbye.
At this point, there has been no physical affection or the sort. Her body language isn't really telling me she's comfortable so I'm not really going for it even though I'm starving for it. I figure she prefers taking things slow so I'll go at her pace. Again, I text her later thanking her for inviting me and spending some time together which I appreciate. She doesn't really reply and giving me back the same energy.
So constantly, I'm always wondering if she's interested in me or enjoy spending time with me. When I ask her about it, it most of the time gets deflected or maybe it's a language barrier and I don't always get what she means when she sends some of her texts if I'm being honest but for some reason I find it cute. it's not like she's playing hard to get but it's confusing to say the least.
Anyways, because of that, I became hesitant to make plans to see her again since she doesn't really people calling her on the phone either unless absolutely necessary she explained to which I joked saying if I'm about to die then I'll call you.
After that second "date". i just try to limit my interaction to texting her a few text daily or so because I just wanted to have some kind of interaction with her. At this point I realized this may or may not be a one-side interest but then I gaslight myself thinking, she's a busy person and still makes some time for me so surely she's interested in some way?.
After a week or so of daily interaction I decide to somewhat stop contact because I also wanted to focus on my stuff and perhaps explore my other dating options if any .. a week goes by and I never hear from her again until one day she just sends me a text that just finished working at some factory as an interpreter and that her phone will be temporarily be disabled because she'll be traveling.
I then expressed my surprised because I figured she had forgotten about me and whatnot. We then exchange a few text here and there, we both caught a cold and talked about how shitty the weather is here and stuff. Again, I'm always the one having to initiate or there won't be any contact .. like at all. So it's hard for me to know if the person is interested even when being asked so I'm left with just overthinking.
Anyways, I ask her more about what time she's leaving and what time and if she wants to spends the last 2 days eating out and spending time together and stuff.
She said she went to some resto the day before but it was busy and had no table because of mother's day. At this point, I looked up the resto because I wanted to make some reservation so we could go there but I stopped myself because I had no idea what kind of situationship this was and if I was putting more effort and not receiving any. So I ended up sleeping instead.
The next day in the morning she texts me she went back to that resto but found out it's only open on certain days for brunch so she was sad and we exchanged a few random texts from that.
then the next day, this is our last conversation this morning before she's away for the next 4 months ..
ME

Will I see you again after 4 months or this is goodbye..? I feel a bit envious of your exes because they all got to be in a relationship with you and meet the girlfriend version of [HER] and all I ever got seems to be the busy version that just sends me off saying bye bye and leaving me confused most of the time with her texts haha 😅

HER

? wtf you don at 6 am plus even boyfriends need to see me off for the summer. I only going for fieldwork, not leaving. don't worry, you will see me when I'm back

ME

I was trying to fix my sleep schedule and I ended up waking up early randomly and then you were in my thoughts idk What do you mean I'll see you after you're back, are you saying you want me to wait for you? 😭 I don't even know what we are, I figured you're too busy to think about that or me as an option so I'm left overthinking.. I would have wanted to see you off but I didn't know where we stand

HER

I thought you gonna visit yesterday since you asked

ME

I wanted to but I didn't know if you wanted me to since it seemed you wanted to go to [restaurant] I was gonna make reservations there but then I realized I might be doing too much because I don't know we're in a relationship or just buddies. Now you leave in one hour and I'm even more confused

HER

Can't you see the problem in your first 'relationship' is that you guys rush everything? In my opinion, you don't know how to form healthy relationships. Take it slow. If you want to see me, make plans. Don't moan afterwards this and that. I can tell you I have always been very busy even with boyfriends. I suggest you set goals and we can celebrate together once you achieve them. I will be back in September. You're welcome to contact me then.

ME

Yes I agree that rushing was the issue in my first but in this case it's more of a mutual interest and communication. From my perspective, it seems like I'm chasing you for some reason because I'm not getting the same energy that I'm sending out. It seems you only respond if I initiate first. I'm always left wondering if you actually want to spend time with me or interested. When I ask you about that, you seem to be deflecting instead of giving me a straight answer or tell me how you feel.. I literally have no idea what you feel most of the time aside from being busy

I can take it slow as a 100 years as long that I know the other person is also interested in building something together in the near future with me. I do want to make plans but it's hard to differentiate if I'm being used for my kindness or for attention when I receive no reassurance when being asked for it? Surely you understand the concept of return on investment.
Or maybe you're right, maybe I'm the problem idk..
HER

well, investment. I would say even my friends invest more on me than you, if you really want to argue that. I also think if we can't make good friends, we won't make good couples. If you rush things, I will retreat because I need my independence more than anything. Make you own choice. Do not talk like a victim.

I didnt really reply anything after that because well not sure how to respond after reading that so I ended up on reddit instead.
NEED OBJECTIVE OPINIONS/ADVICES? I consider myself pretty in tune with myself and my emotions but here I find myself a bit confused and I can't tell if I'm getting clingy or obsessive or too close to the situation to think clearly so I figured I'd make a post and hear some of yall thoughts on this to see if maybe I'm the one who still need to work on myself or maybe we're just not compatible? I guess it would also help me get some closure and not feel so shitty.
p.s if you made it this far, thank you for reading and hopefully you have some insight on my situation since I do not have that much experience when it comes to dating certain girls.
i also passively use twitter and saw this tweet that goes: I’ve noticed I don’t have an issue communicating. My issue is people’s responses . It’s the lack of accountability and the one-sided perceptions that I cannot tolerate.
And I thought that was kinda how I'm feeling right now but not sure ...

Hello all,
First time posting about this and TLDR I founded a company 18 months ago and our recent round values our business at +$10m
I was a late starter to entrepreneurialism and had a good length stint in finance (trying one startup while still being employed) before founding my current business. My family has an entrepreneurial background and because of this, I have always had ambitions for building a business but I genuinely was too afraid to take the risk (for whatever reason). Having now ran the company for just over a year, we have been a lot more successfully than i could have anticipated which has culminated in a proper valuation. While we still have a long way to go (you never know what happens), I guess you have to enjoy the milestones when they come
Some things I have learned.

1. Take the risk - if you are fortunate to find a problem to which you can realistically create a solution, you are on the right track. If this solution has a big enough market (it doesn't have to be a multi billion opportunity) and you can find some potential customers who confirm they would pay, you are wasting your time not taking the risk.
2. Markets don't have to be $100bn in size. VC's will often say that the addressable market needs to be ginormous to even attempt. While it may be true for them to make their 10x return, it is not true for you. If you can get 1% of a $100m market which has high margins and is easy to access, you can begin to build a valuable business.
3. Stay close to home - my first attempt at creating my own business was in a market that I saw from a distance. Because I didn't have direct business involvement in this market, I could not see the actual pitfalls of the industry and how my assumptions underlying my business model were flawed from the outset....
4. Don't throw good money after bad - the only good part of my first business (that failed) was that I quickly saw the flaws in my model, determined I could not solve them and closed the business, staying in my current job. I didn't take angel investment which meant that my current business was not tarred by that early opportunity.
5. Staffing is COMPLICATED - anyone can build the ideal model for an ideal business. Very driven people can even build the infrastructure and launch the business, but the next step is building out your staff. By definition each incremental staff member is less incentivised than the earlier staff member (less options, less responsibility). I have found running a team of staff one of the most complicated parts of our business. It is a completely different skill-set to turn your employee base into a devoted tribe and I have made plenty of mistakes along the way.
6. Keep the burn down - It is not sexy to boast about how much money your start-up burns. Contrary to popular belief, businesses are supposed to make money. In building the business, I have built our software in steps. For example, when I wasn't making that many invoices, I didn't need to automate invoices. Furthermore, I have built the business (a software platform) as revenue generating features first and useful back end improvements second. I was also more apprehensive adding staff in the early stages which meant our initial growth generated strain and long hours. We have now exited that part of our growth but keeping a tight ship is the only way to show fiscal responsibility.
7. Have a co-founder - It's fucking tough. You will be in tears, sweats and anxious at some points, at others you will feel the highest of highs. It's a grind and a rollercoaster; most people are normal human beings, you need someone to balance you out. When we went through two quiet days, I was panicking that something fundamental had gone wrong. My co-founder helped me rationalise that business isn't a straight line.
8. "Why can't a larger player just copy you" - you will hear this from any investor you pitch to, your employees and yourself. If that statement were true, there wouldn't be millions of small businesses in the world. Clearly there is some complexity to copycatting. Most times you don't realise that big players don't care about you and they are unlikely to copy a minnow and spend millions of dollars in the process. If you have something truly unique, a purchase is more likely.
9. Go into existing markets, don't create new ones - The big ideas that haven't been done before sound super sexy. "Did you know 200 million cups of coffee are drunk every day in the States, we are going to make a Deliveroo for coffee! Just 1% will make us MILLIONS". Creating a completely new market requires MASSIVE capital, MASSIVE time and constantly fails. Look for a market that exists, create a business that segments that market by solving a particular problem. Your customers already know you, they already feel the problem, when you present the solution, some will buy in.
10. Know your value precisely if you're exiting - If you're considering exiting your business, knowing its precise value is crucial. (easter egg) Our valuation tool can give you an initial estimate of your business's worth. For a more precise valuation, once you fill out the form, an M&A expert from our team will reach out to provide you with a detailed, free valuation if you're interested.

I'm sure I am missing quite a few other important lessons. It would be great to hear from other founders

But I've only ever bought two bras that actually fit both bras that fit is a 38H!!!! They fit amazingly, but any time I try to buy a new style of bra, it doesn't fit! Two bras I bought just got delivered, both are 38H and the cups are too big... How can my two that fit that are both 38h fit amazingly but two different styles of bras that are also 38H, don't fit???????
Update: I order from Adore Me, and they do UK and US sizing, BUT I did not know that until just now. 🤦🏽‍♀️... I have the "Kaia Unlined Plus" and the "Jenni Unlined Plus." Both are 38H, and they fit almost perfectly! The two I just got delivered are "Trezza Contour Plus" and "Cassandra Unlined Plus" both are 38H and I am assuming I bought the UK size but it doesn't say and I don't know how to check what sizing they use. Both bras cups are too big, leaving a lot of gapping. My bust just doesn't fill them out.

Greetings all, I am a screenwriter working on a new script that involves a small town sheriff. I have a couple of questions that I'd love to get clarified from the members of the community if possible. These pertain only to my desire to make the script accurate, and whatever is said will not be published anywhere. 1. The story takes place in a small town of less than 500 people, where there is evidence of an old murder discovered in the woods (bones). I can only imagine that a town of this size would not have the necessary equipment at their disposal to fully evaluate such a scene. DNA, etc. What would standard practice be in such a case? Are there task forces from neighboring cities that would be dispatched, is the evidence collected and mailed out to a "lab"? I know remarkably little about how this process works, so any information is useful. 2. What are standard file keeping practices for a town of this size? In my mind they would not necessarily have the most up to date system for record keeping, therefore things are still analog. Like, literal files in filing cabinets. But this may be misinformed or totally off base.
Thank you all in advance for your help!

With the interest around ‘Shogun’ and ‘Assassin’s Creed Shadows’ being high right now, I wanted to address the elephant in the room. The fact that these Western Made stories are obsessed with having non-Japanese main characters in a Historical Japanese setting.
First Shogun. The whole premise of ‘a white guy’ having to be the main character of a historical Japanese story is weird. There’s sections of the story where the Japanese female characters marvel at the size of his dick (Seriously). He’s based on William Adams a real white sailor who went to Japan. Why are we so obsessed with telling the stories of the few westerners who went to Japan compared to the hundreds of millions of Japanese people who lived there instead. The only thing defining about Adams is that he’s a white guy so it’s used as an ‘in’ for a English speaking western audience. In an age of supposed diversity by American companies why are they so against actual diversity by showing a story of the actual native people of the country that it’s set in.
With takes us to the most recent example. Assassin’s Creed Shadows. Why have Yasuke as a main character? There is nothing known about him at all besides the fact that he was a black samurai. That is the only thing he’s known for. Is it so important to interject SOME element that your western audience can connect too into these Japanese stories. Basically no Japanese produced stories focus on the few foreigners who went to Japan, but yet the west loves producing this kind of story. It if it was so important to the history of Japan, how come basically no Japanese produced stories cover this. Millions of Japanese Samurai/Ninjas existed but yet we are focusing on the few non Japanese ones. Having actual diversity in your story would be trying to normalize that it’s great and cool to have stories focusing on actual Japanese people, rather then the few westerners/non Japanese in history who we barely know about.
While not a historical story, you might’ve also seen the Movie Bullet Train starring Brad Pritt, a movie about assassins set in Japan. Do you know that it’s based on an actual book where all the characters are actually Japanese, while in the movie they swapped out the characters with non-Japanese, instead Western ones. The director said that originally the movie was going to take place in America too, but because the setting of Japan is so popular these days in America they left that element of the story in. It’s like the teams at these companies want to have an ‘exotic’ setting of Japan but really don’t want to have Japanese people in it.
What’s your thoughts on this? Do you think that this trend will die out in the coming decades or will this be a permanent fixture of America’s interest in Japan.

My previous post covers some relationship history and issues we've been having
It's been a long time since I felt the need to look in her phone but I did this time she left it out.
I saw a recent image sent in chat on Snapchat she had sent someone of neck down cleavage at 8 pm a week before I found it. Taken during the day. Shirt and bra clearly adjusted to have her popping out way more than usual. Glass of wine. Clearly took some work and forethought. He saved the picture. He also saved a comment the next morning. It was a reply to a video she had sent where he said "best day ever of my life."
She had mentioned trying one of those "get the right size bra" things but said it was way too small of a cup and she was popping out of it. I didn't get to see it before it got returned but seemed like he got a picture.
Heart drops. Shaking hand. I'm in shock but I take a couple pictures with my phone and a video of their saved chat history, his username, start date (6 months ago). A bunch of cute but tame selfies with our kids. One more tame snap with one of our kids sent an hour before while I was getting the older one to bed. Checked a couple other places like texts, pictures, and Facebook quick to see if there was anything else recent. Nope. Put the phone back to avoid getting caught in the moment and retreated to the basement to calm down and process it.
I confronted her that night after she got into bed, recording audio with my phone. Mentioned how she should go bra and panty shopping and get some good stuff in person now that our youngest is getting older and she has her body back. That [snap username] would probably enjoy it. No reaction. I repeated it. "Huh?" "Who" I still remember the confused/expressionless face she held while I repeated the name again and she finally said "Oh. Him." Like damn right him. She denied doing anything inappropriate. I said well then you and I have vastly different definitions of inappropriate and showed her the picture of it and asked what other videos she had sent that night. She broke down a bit and said that the picture was a mistake but she hadn't sent anything else. I asked what the video was and she "didn't remember." I said I don't believe that for a second. It's only been a week and was sent right after a cleavage shot? I don't believe it for a second. She still "doesn't remember" as of today. Who is it? "My ex." I asked her how long it had been going on for. "Doesn't remember." I said stop lying. I don't believe you. And "I don't remember" just means I'm going to assume the worst and act that way so it's better if you tell me that truth. That my assumption is full nude/masturbating/etc and it she doesn't remember when it started because it never stopped. Her memory still wasn't working. I showed her the picture of when their friendship started 6 months ago and left the bedroom.
She came after me and it continued with more of the same until late in the night. Her saying that our marriage and kids mean everything to her and she sorry she fucked up and will do anything to make up for it. Apologized for the last few years of resentment fueled attacks and arguments. promised to make a change and that she would do whatever it takes to fix it. I told her that my trust was completely broken but that I wouldnt give up on our marriage and would give her another chance to fix it for the sake of our kids. I just don't know how to fix it and I need time to cope and think and process the shock. That we should see a therapist and I probably need one for myself too. Meanwhile she's not volunteering any more information that I hadn't already discovered myself. Just saying that they only talked about life stuff and she didn't care about him at all but she could vent to him about me. Again, "nothing inappropriate." Which I shut down hard again. That's still an emotional affair with someone you have a history with and if it hasn't been sexual the whole time it's definitely trending there now.
Ended up going to bed at the same time together, tired and emotionally drained. We had sex. It's been too long since we were intimate and I told her we can try to end the night on a positive.
I couldn't sleep.
Over the next days, I started reading whatever I could find about affair recovery. Found some therapist articles and videos. Found this sub and the other related ones. Followed some links. Went to work. Talked to her late into the night after the kids went to sleep. It kept bugging me that she didn't seem to be willing to be fully honest with me. She definitely made other changes and has been helping more around the house and being a lot nicer like when we were dating. Offering time for me to do things for myself and being receptive and showing empathy for my emotions. Still not willing to really share anything that didn't get discovered. Doesn't remember anything else. Says "nothing inappropriate happened." I tried to explain that I can try and move on and work to rebuild the relationship and that I appreciate it that she was making a good effort to make those changes, but that my trust was broken and continuing to lie about the content, extent, etc. would just tear all that work down when it came out. That I needed her to be totally honest and not put her guilt or shame or whatever ahead of the need to disclose everything and end the lies or I might never trust her again.
I asked her to let me go through her phone. She initially said yes. I also said I wasn't comfortable with her staying on Snapchat and I'd like her to delete it. She didn't share the phone right away and then later in the talk changed her mind saying she wasn't comfortable because she was feeling attacked. I said I don't like that answer because it seems selfish and she hasn't shown that she deserves privacy. And what happened to the "I'll do anything to fix it" promise because our marriage and kids are the most important thing to her? She still said she wasn't comfortable with it after I went behind her back to look at it. Typical cheater excuses and deflection, right? I told her she's on exceedingly thin ice and that she had better not delete anything. I allowed it, thinking internally it can serve as a test because I'm already checking out and losing faith that she'll do what it takes to reconcile or change. Also knowing she probably wouldn't think to clear out the trash and she'd do my work for me to smoke out anything she's hiding. I checked the next day and there were a bunch of pictures sent to trash that day. Oddly enough, nothing that bad from the quick peek I got. Mirror shot of her back but fully clothed was the closest thing to sexual. Didn't say anything yet, figuring I'd wait until the kids went to sleep and see if she'd give up the phone willingly and find them there in the trash. Before that though, I noticed on my phone that she disappeared off of Snapchat. Asked her if she deleted it already and she said "yeah, you asked me to." To which I said yeah, but that was when you agreed to show me first. When you prevented that, I told you not to delete anything and it seems like you just used that as an excuse to justify covering your tracks. Also, that deleted all of our saved snaps in chat of our relationship and our kids from both sides. I said I would have liked to back those up because she used it regularly to capture memories instead of her camera.
Whatever. Turns out Snapchat doesn't actually delete anything for 30 days and they come back if you download and log in, so nice try I guess?
She told me his name at one point but I'm bad with names and forgot it in the stress. I looked at her phone again in the middle of the night. Found a conversation between them on instagram from when she was ~7mo pregnant with our first. He initiated, asking to see her sexy belly and she was quick to comply. Went back and forth with compliments and pictures and he asked to video chat. She said she didn't want to because she looked big and exhausted. He said not now, but what about ever? She didn't respond. What do you know, a few days later he spontaneously decided to reinstall Snapchat and asked to add her, giving the same username as the one I saw but his real name was on instagram. Then that went silent. Theres a 3.5 yr gap from then to the latest add. He seems to delete and make new snapchat accounts often. I took a video of the chat history. Go to take an extra picture of the contact info. Fuck! Phone has flash on and she stirs. Oh well. I'm pissed and I don't really care if she catches me. I just don't say anything when she asks what I was doing, but I've got more evidence saved now and I'm
trying to figure out how to check the rest thoroughly before it's totally scrubbed or I'll never be able to confirm anything she says when the gaslighting comes.
He's been married for over 10 years. Has 3 kids. No wonder he has to delete Snapchat

my last computer was an acer aspire e-15, it was perfect until it stopped turning on. i don’t know a lot about buying laptops, so please excuse me if any of this information is irrelevant.
LAPTOP QUESTIONNAIRE * Total budget (in local currency) and country of purchase. Please do not use USD unless purchasing in the US:
no more than $850 USD

• Are you open to refurbs/used?

very open to refurbs, not used

• How would you prioritize form factor (ultrabook, 2-in-1, etc.), build quality, performance, and battery life?

performance is most important but a decent battery would be nice too.

• How important is weight and thinness to you?

not that important to me, would prefer a lighter model as i will probably be using it for everyday purposes like school and streaming movies/shows as well.

• Do you have a preferred screen size? If indifferent, put N/A.

i would like around 14”

• Are you doing any CAD/video editing/photo editing/gaming? List which programs/games you desire to run.

I need to run sims 4 and FL studios

• If you're gaming, do you have certain games you want to play? At what settings and FPS do you want?

I need it to be able to run sims 4 pretty heavily modded with most of the DLC and I want to play with high or highest graphic settings. i know sims isn’t the most demanding game but i hate lag with a passion.

• **Any specific requirements such as good keyboard, reliable build quality, touch-screen, finger-print reader, optical drive or good input devices (keyboard/

Definitely not looking for a touch screen, and i need at least 2 USB ports for music production. it would be a plus if it had an SD card port for my digital camera but not the end of the world if not

• Leave any finishing thoughts here that you may feel are necessary and beneficial to the discussion.

I don’t love computers that look super gamer-y, i would prefer a sleeker model. but again i just want it to be able to run the game well

I've been considering getting a Steam Deck for quite a while now but the games I have that are Playable on SD are few and it isn't worth it to get a SD to play only Deep Rock Galactic: Survivor or Obra Din.
Just now as I've been thinking about whether I'd ever get to playing any of the old cRPGs on my list I had an idea: what if they run on the SD?
I talk about:

• BGII,
• Planescape Torment,
• Any and all of the Gold Box Classics,
• Fallout 1&2 or
• Any other oldschool cRPG you can think of.

I already looked at search results and watched some random videos of people trying BG2 for example. However all that information wasn't helpful because it wasn't "I've done the best I can to play these games." level. These people didn't really try.
I assume you know all there is to know about the SD and its inner workings so that's why I'm coming to you as a last resort. I've already learned it was possible to define custom key mappings. To me, in theory, it should be possible to play any game on the SD as long as there are key mappings. I admit I'm not too familiar with how SD runs games. Is it only about Linux support of a given game? Can SD run DOSBox? Please give all the technical details you know of.
EDIT: TIL
It seems there are basically three elements of whether a game is Playable on SD:

• The game itself runs on SD (natively on Linux or in another way).
• The UI, graphics and text are legible for the screen size/resolution.
• There are key mappings between the controls supported by the game and the SD's controls. This is where user input is most needed and where most time is spent configuring beforehand. So there are unfortunately games that can't be played comfortably because they require lots of keys to be played, e.g. Might and Magic 1: Book I. The game is basically played with the 1-9, almost the whole alphabet and the arrow keys, ESC and ALT keys. :(