This strange life, full of joy and pain... For days nothing happens. We tend our gardens peacefully until the next storm comes. You entered my life with hurricane force winds. Blinded me in the downpours of both intense love and palpable self loathing. Tending the depression, anxiety, trauma, and loss became the center of my world. I spent my days carefully sifting through what remained of the things you had left behind.... And I lost myself there. It was such a slow detachment that I hardly noticed at all. I stopped doing the things I loved to carry the weight of the things you lost, hoping that if I just tended the garden... Something would grow.
But you hated yourself. Every fiber of love I could give you you refused to deserve. And the self loathing became both an albatross and a badge of honor. And yet you accepted my love, knowing that somewhere deep inside you would never feel deserving of it. I wonder now that the air is clearing if you rage at the world in your search for a thing you refuse to have. You, my precious heart, are an enigma.
I will always recall the soft touch I offered against your rough downtrodden soul.... How I loved to caress the pain to see even just a moment of relief within you....
But self hate grows. It infests. It infested me. And the gaslighting, the abuse.... It reared upon us eventually. We got caught within a new storm.....
I'm learning now. I cannot love your hatred. Because I cannot understand it. It burns me when I get close. It diminishes the honor I offer you, the truth in every caress.
Please get better. I want to look back someday and see you found that you were worthy. That we are all worthy. Allow love to exist exactly the way it is.... And accept it when it finally does return.
I'm working on myself as well. Know that when the next storm arrives at my garden I will have built a better shelter. I will have learned to be more patient after the destruction. But most importantly, I will have learned to rebuild....

(continuation of part 2)
III. e) The Mobius FF x FFVII collaboration
Alright, back to our suspension world-hopping! Let’s visit the realm of Mobius FF, —more specifically, the collaboration between Mobius FF and FFVII—, where I found the most substantial evidence for my theory.
In case you’re unfamiliar with the Mobius FF (MFF) world and games, let’s begin with a bit of a summary of the parts relevant to us. The story takes place in a world called Palamecia, to which people from other worlds are inexplicably summoned. The vast majority of those who are brought there don’t remember anything from their worlds of origin or their lives before Palamecia except their names: these amnesiac people are called Blanks. The main character is Wol, accompanied by a guiding fairy of Palamecia named Echo. Echo knows a lot about the mechanisms of Palamecia, as she’s tied to the realm. The leader of this world is Vox, a being who manifests only as a voice. The first thing all Blanks remember before they wake in Palamecia is Vox telling them the rules of the realm. Incidentally, the crystals of the MFF world are teleportation crystals.
III. e) i. Devs’ Statements
Let’s review some of the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration devs’ statements before diving into its story.
For both the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration and the Remake project, Kitase took on the role of producer while Nojima supervised the screenplay and wrote the scenario. The project leader was none other than the Remake trilogy’s Hamaguchi, who told a SE interviewer the following:

“We would love for you to play the [MFF x FFVII] collaboration event as you look forward to [Remake’s] release” (“Celebration of the Overseas Release of the Steam Version and FINAL FANTASY VII REMAKE Collaboration Event”, Square Enix).

He later hints at the collaboration’s storyline:

“This collaboration is focused on Cloud, so the other characters will not make an appearance. Players will join Cloud, who has gone astray in Palamecia, on his adventures and see how the story unfolds based on his decisions. Content-wise, FINAL FANTASY VII fans will surely become fraught with emotion as events unfold in-game (laughs).”

Kitase concurs on the emotional aspect of the collaboration in the same interview:

“When it comes to the story, I seek two things– ‘mystery’ and ‘[…] emotional impact’.”

Clearly, fans of FFVII are supposed to react emotionally to the events of the collaboration. With these statements in mind to give us perspective, we can get into the plot points relevant to our analysis. MFF x FFVII Remake comes in two parts, the relevant plot points of which I will describe and analyze one at a time.
III. e) ii. Eclipse Contact
1) Fact-Finding
Part one of the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration event is called Eclipse Contact. It came out in 2017 on Aerith’s birthday, February 7th, and its release campaign ran until March. In Eclipse Contact, Palamecia welcomes someone new: Cloud Strife appears in the realm with very little recollection of his core world of FFVII.
Cloud isn’t a Blank, since he recalls the mako reactors in Midgar upon his arrival in Palamecia, and also remembers that he was hired by Avalanche to blow them up:

“Echo: How did you end up in Palamecia?

Cloud: I… That day... I remember now. A job. I had taken a job. I was hired muscle protecting clients. They wanted to stop the reactor... We used a train to get past security... Was it at night? Something happened... Next thing I knew, I was floating through darkness. Then [I woke up here]”.

This piece of dialogue reveals that Eclipse Contact Cloud’s memories end at the very moment when Avalanche arrives at reactor 1 in OG (disk 1, chapter 1): the very beginning of the game. Consequently, Cloud does not remember anything that happened from the beginning of the OG timeline onwards.
Wol and Echo are intrigued by Cloud’s strange case: non-Blanks rarely arrive in Palamecia. The following text appears on the screen shortly after they meet:

“Perhaps he is not truly who he thinks he is.
Perhaps everything is illusory, a dream.
Only one thing is certain, that he must press on, one step at a time, toward the light that shines from the promised land.”

Just like he did in FFT’s Ivalice, Cloud feels the need to find the Promised Land in MFF x FFVII, despite the fact that he lacks memories of the OG timeline. Though Cloud doesn’t remember anything beyond the train ride to reactor 1, he does remember the Promised Land (at least somewhat). This is odd, given that in OG, Cloud didn’t learn about the Promised Land until several chapters into the game.
Wol and Echo agree to help Cloud figure out why he’s here, since there’s clearly something strange going on with his presence in Palamecia. In fact, Cloud brought Midgar’s mako reactors with him somehow, transplanting them onto the landscape of Palamecia. The group decides to bomb these reactors, following Cloud’s instincts in the hopes that it will jog his memory.
Now for my favorite part. After blowing up another reactor, the group is surprised by the appearance of a crystal. A piano rendition of Aerith’s theme begins. When Wol tries to touch the crystal, something akin to a force field rejects him. When Cloud approaches it, however, the crystal responds to his hand by flashing with light. As it begins to glow, Wol concludes that the crystal is linked to Cloud and Cloud alone. Let’s examine the resulting dialogue:

“Echo: This is the light in your memories. The light of home.

Cloud: Home? But I don’t—

Echo: If you don't remember… then your home is lost to you.

Cloud: Then my memories are gone.

Wol: Do you want to reclaim your past?

Cloud: Not interested... I am what I am now. Not what I was.

Wol: Then tell me… This light. If you can’t remember it, what does it mean to you?

Cloud: It's a warm light... I feel at peace. If this place —home— is as warm and peaceful as this light, then I want to go there.

Echo: You can't go there... Not back to the past.

Cloud: I see.

Echo: But even if you can't go back to the past, you can go forward. If you wish for it strongly enough, the crystal will show you the way. The way to a new world. The way to your Promised Land. […]

Cloud: So... Should [I] take [my] chances and make a wish to this crystal?

Wol: Go ahead. It’s your crystal.

Echo: I should warn you that once you start on this journey, there's no coming back.

Cloud: The past is the past. I want to go to a place where everything is new. I’m ready.“

What follows is a moment I call the wishing scene (13:43-14:34). Cloud closes his eyes and wishes on the crystal. It flashes, and suddenly, rainbow-colored ripples of light appear around it. Aerith’s theme is replaced by a slightly modified version of “Midgar, City of Mako”, the track that plays during the opening cutscene of Remake. You can recreate the modification by listening to “Midgar, City of Mako” from 2:00 to 2:23, then skipping to 3:00 and listening until 3:18. You may recognize the musical motif that kicks off the wishing scene as the Lifestream motif, which has become symbolic of the mysteries of the Remake trilogy, as it often plays during scenes where unexplainable plot deviations from OG occur— more specifically, deviations involving multiverse shenanigans. For instance, it plays during MOTF 4. It also plays in Rebirth after Cloud blocks masamune as Aerith is shown dying anyway.
Cloud disappears with his crystal, after which Echo speaks to Wol about Cloud’s journey:

“Echo: Each person gets the Promised Land they justly deserve, not the one they really need. If you’re a bad person, you go to a bad place. If you expect nothing, you get nothing. Even the journey there makes you look deep within yourself to find out who you really are. Cloud should be facing his own past as we speak. It’s cruel, but necessary. That battle was a long time coming”.

Apparently, at least in the context of this collaboration event, the Promised Land can be a reward or a punishment, depending on which you deserve. Echo explains that Cloud will have to face himself and his past on his way to his Promised Land. This means that the Cloud that appears in Eclipse Contact must next embark on a journey that will confront him with his past, test his mettle, and ultimately lead him to the Promised Land he justly deserves.
III. e) ii. 2) Fact Analysis
There’s a lot of vital information to dig into here, mostly provided by Echo. She claims that the crystal’s light is linked to Cloud’s memories of home; Cloud has to have known this home in the past, as it could not otherwise exist in his memories. MFF Cloud must be a post-OG Cloud. Unfortunately, Echo indicates that whatever Cloud’s home is, he’s lost both it and his memories of it. Despite this, Cloud describes his home as warm and peaceful, concluding that he wishes to find it. Though Cloud can’t return to the past, Echo tells him that if he wishes it strongly enough, the crystal can guide him toward a new world, where his home and his Promised Land exist in the future. The fact that Aerith’s theme is playing all throughout these descriptions of Cloud’s lost home, his Promised Land and the past that he can’t return to makes it extremely obvious that these concepts all point to Aerith. Aerith is Cloud’s lost home. Wherever Aerith is, that’s his Promised Land. The time spent with Aerith before her loss is the past he tragically can’t return to. You might have clocked the similarities between Eclipse Contact’s mention of Cloud’s lost home and DFF’s mention of Cloud’s lost dream: in both these titles, Cloud’s home and dream are equivalent to his Promised Land. It’s confirmed yet again that Aerith is the one Cloud hopes to return to, just like every soul returns to the Lifestream. At this juncture of my research, I was curious as to why the last thing Cloud remembers before waking in Palamecia is the run-up to the Reactor 1 bombing mission in OG (disk 1, chapter 1). This mystery will have to persist for a while longer.
The alarm bells in your head might’ve been triggered by the mention of the wishing scene’s rainbow ripple effects— and rightfully so. This visual cue has sparked passionate debate in the fandom since its appearances in Rebirth, as seen in these pictures:
Zack Choosing To Get A Cure For Cloud, Rebirth Chapter 14; Creating a New World/Timeline
Aerith Pushing Cloud Out of that World/Timeline, Remake Chapter 14
Cloud Blocking Masamune, Rebirth Chapter 14; Creating New World/Timeline
You might have read or heard that this rainbow effect signifies that a character has entered another timeline, created a portal to another timeline, created a new timeline or is being shown different timelines. Indeed, whenever the OG timeline is deviated from in a significant way, this effect appears. The pictures above present multiple examples of these shifting realities.
One might propose that the rainbow ripples in Eclipse Contact and Rebirth are unrelated because of the long period between their respective release dates. This long in-between period indeed makes it likelier that the effect was used without forethought in Eclipse Contact, forgotten over the years, and incidentally reused in Rebirth as a plot-important visual cue with no connection to Eclipse Contact. I’m inclined to disagree since the crystal is specifically described as a vessel that can take Cloud “to a new world” by Echo, which is a bit on the nose. Regardless, it’s plausible that there’s no connection. That is, it would be, if the rainbow effect didn’t show up in Remake too.
When the Whispers are finally defeated in chapter 18 of Remake, a burst of the rainbow ripple effects indicate the emergence of multiple worlds, newly freed from the restrictive clutches of fate (1:16:36-1:16:47). Shortly thereafter, Sephiroth takes Cloud to the Edge of Creation and invites him to join forces with him. Cloud refuses, and Sephiroth says the following:

“Seven seconds till the end. Time enough for you. Perhaps. But what will you do with it? Let's see.”

The question “What will you do with it?” implies that the answer is unknown, meaning Cloud is no longer bound to the OG timeline by fate: many alternate futures lay ahead. Sephiroth is telling Cloud and the audience that now, the mystery of the Remake trilogy has become “Which future will Cloud bring into existence? Which among the infinite possible timelines will his choices result in?” After pondering this aloud, Sephiroth leaves Cloud alone to consider the rainbow effects in the sky (1:19:23-1:19:36). Because they generally represent alternate or changing timelines, it’s safe to assume that the rainbow ripples here represent the myriad of possible worlds that Cloud’s actions in those seven seconds could generate. After all, Sephiroth was just talking about them, and chapter 18’s description in Remake reads as follows:

“In a world beyond, Sephiroth shows Cloud a vision of the planet seven seconds before its demise. Having strayed from the course destiny set for them, they strike out on a path towards an unknown future."

This explains why the player is shown Cloud staring at those colors in the apocalyptic sky at world’s end, directly after hearing Sephiroth’s cryptic words: those are all the alternate “unknown future” timelines ahead of him, now unravelled from fate. Amongst those rainbow ripples lies the answer to the question “What will you do with [the seven seconds]?”
Given that Remake was released in 2020 and Eclipse Contact came out in 2017, the major story elements of the Remake trilogy —including the eventuality of alternate timelines— had to have been planned out at the time of Eclipse Contact’s release: while the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration was being made, Remake was also in production. Also recall that the collaboration event and the Remake trilogy share a codirector in Hamaguchi, a writer in Nojima and a producer in Kitase. Based on all this, it’s more than likely that the rainbow ripples in the Remake trilogy and inEclipse Contact represent the very same thing: alternate worlds and timelines. All this to say that when the rainbow effect appears around the crystal in the Eclipse Contact, it means the crystal is acting as a vessel to another world, just like Echo said.
But that’s not all Echo said: she also mentioned that this other world would take Cloud to his home, to his Promised Land. We’ve already established what that means for Cloud, what it’s meant since two whole decades at the time of Eclipse Contact’s release: this crystal will take Cloud to Aerith. So, where exactly did the crystal take Cloud? In what world can he meet Aerith again?
The music that plays during the wishing scene gives us a huge hint. As I noted before, the track playing in the background is a slightly modified version of Remake’s “Midgar, City of Mako”, which plays in the introduction cutscene of Remake. This is a musical cue that the ending of Cloud’s journey in Eclipse Contact and the very beginning of the Remake trilogy are closely related. Add the fact that the devs wanted players to experience this collaboration event before playing Remake, and it becomes undeniable: the crystal that appeared to Cloud in Palamecia —which offers to lead him to his home and Promised Land, meaning to Aerith—, took him to the world of the Remaketrilogy.
Eclipse Contact is huge. The whole crux of my theory lives and dies right here. However, we still have part two of the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration event to analyze as well as its promotions to look into before I can drop the thesis on you, so bear with me in order to receive the most thorough analysis of all this possible! I want to give you every drop of proof I can!
III. e) ii. MFF x FFVII Remake Fatal Calling
1) Fact-Finding
Fatal Calling came out February 1 of 2018, and its release campaign ended in March. The game opens with a cutscene: Cloud is floating, seemingly unconscious, through a sparkling, green current of light. The current flows into a circle of bright, white light, surrounded by rainbow ripple effects as Cloud is driven toward and into it. An orb floats along with him. The Advent Children theme “The Promised Land” plays, a choir of mournful, aching, mutedly desperate souls engaged in a lamenting prayer. Sephiroth’s voice echoes:

“Sephiroth: It’s time. You may turn your back on the past, lock your memories away. Hide reality beneath a layer of illusion. But destiny will not die so easily. Yes. At memory’s end you may plead for it all to go away. But the past is a curse, binding your soul. It’s time. Wake to your fate. Rise to your destiny.

Cloud: (In a half-conscious grunt) Reunion…

Sephiroth: The light will lead you. Wake to your fate. Rise!”

Sephiroth’s mentions of Cloud hiding under an illusion and repressing his memories are no doubt allusions to Cloud’s past, which was complicated and darkened by Hojo’s experiments. It makes sense, then, that Cloud responds with “Reunion”. Fatal Calling indeed focuses on Cloud’s relationship to his past, his identity and Sephiroth. Everything involving Nibelheim —where everything started—, Sephiroth’s manipulation, and Hojo’s experiments are on the table. Also noteworthy if not out of place is Sephiroth’s evocation of fate.
Cloud enters a battle with Sephiroth with the help of Wol and Echo, who are surprised to see him back in Palamecia. Cloud tells them about the orb seen floating along with him in the opening cutscene: though he calls it a materia, he doesn’t know how or when he acquired it. Based on his behavior, it appears that Cloud remembers just as little about the events of OG as he did by the end of Eclipse Contact. Wol informs Cloud that whoever he heard speaking to him on his way here was probably Vox pretending to be Sephiroth.
As the group advances, Cloud recalls Midgar and decides they should go there next. At one of Midgar’s mako reactors, the group encounters Sephiroth, who speaks to himself:

“It's still not enough. This... this is but a pale imitation of the power I desire.”

Once Sephiroth has disappeared, Cloud explains what he remembers: Sephiroth was the greatest SOLDIER of all and a hero to Cloud, though Cloud can’t remember what exactly ended this admiration. As players of FFVII OG, we know the event in question is the Nibelheim incident, wherein Sephiroth slaughtered the town’s residents, including Cloud’s mother, after learning of his past. The former war hero also severely injured Tifa, whom Cloud presumed dead when he found her in the old mako reactor with a vicious slash on her chest. Cloud is agitated by the gaps in his memory, so the group resolves to follow Sephiroth for answers. When they find him again, Sephiroth causes Cloud to experience a piercing headache with the mere mention of the Reunion. They fight, but Sephiroth is too powerful— he skewers Cloud with the masamune and taunts his unconscious body:

“Sephiroth: A puppet. I won’t kill you. Not yet. Not until you know true despair.
Wol: If you want despair, we got plenty to go around. Palamecia’s full of it.
Sephiroth: Yes, this planet knows suffering. But it is not the world that was promised to me. I must go home. Tell Cloud, if he wants to see me again, he should face his memories. I will await him there, in the land of memory, where it all began. In Nibelheim.”

Sephiroth darkens Cloud’s materia, turning it black. Later, Wol explains to Cloud that Sephiroth stole the light from his materia, taking Cloud’s strength along with it.
Once Cloud has woken up, the group travels to Nibelheim to uncover the truth about Cloud’s memories. Cloud slowly gathers pieces of his past, shown to the player as titled, diary-like text written from various perspectives. Cloud learns the truth about SOLDIER, Jenova cells, Sephiroth, and what happened in Nibelheim. Let’s examine a few of these diary entries:

“A Warrior’s Tale: There's a girl in Nibelheim I think about. Warm. Cheerful. More grown-up than a child. Haven't talked to her much, but she seems nice. She's going to be leading the SOLDIERs to the mountain reactor. Maybe if I get into the survey team I'll get a chance to talk to her? Nah. She's out of my league.”

Young Cloud’s crush on Tifa is on full display! This must be a memory from his time as an infantryman accompanying Zack and Sephiroth to Nibelheim.

“Tale of the Nameless: I drift along in the mako, asleep. Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Give me a number. I… I… I am… The Reunion. The Reunion must happen.”

This entry could be taken from any one of the Nibelheim survivors’ perspectives, as they were all bathed in mako and turned into Sephiroth clones. I would venture to say this is Cloud’s perspective though, given the reference to this iconic line from OG:

“Cloud: Professor... please give me a number. Please, Professor...
Hojo: Shut up, miserable failure.” (disk 2, chapter 2).

The trio encounters Sephiroth near the old Mt. Nibel mako reactor. Because Sephiroth stole the light from his materia earlier, Cloud goes into the confrontation already drained of his strength. However, when Cloud lifts the materia in his hand, it lights up and creates rainbow ripples in the air around him, similar to those seen in Eclipse Contact and Rebirth. Cloud is healed of his injuries: he closes his eyes for a moment, wearing a peaceful expression. Sephiroth is displeased, but recovers quickly:

“Sephiroth: The guiding light… it healed you.

Wol: […] here, near the mako reactor, the materia regained its light. And your strength returned […]. [Sephiroth]’s here so he can steal the power you've stored inside that materia.

Sephiroth, with a short laugh: I have all the power I need. Cloud. What strength you’ve regained is yours. Use it to fight me. It’s time. Let’s decide this, in this land lost to despair. The prize is home. The Promised Land. There to answer the call of destiny.”

With this second evocation of fate, Sephiroth disappears.
Cloud, Wol and Echo find Sephiroth at the Northern Crater. He mocks Cloud for believing the orb in his possession is materia. Sephiroth waves a hand and his signature black and purple fog surrounds Cloud, immobilizing him. Sephiroth claims that the power Cloud regained at the Mt. Nibel reactor was Sephiroth’s all along. Now that it courses through Cloud’s veins, Sephiroth controls him. He calls Cloud his puppet and finishes with the following before the two vanish, leaving Wol and Echo alone:

“Now, let us return. Back to the Promised Land. The time of the Reunion has come.”

After Cloud finally breaks free and defeats Sephiroth with the help of Wol and Echo, the villain makes a final threat:

“Very good, Cloud. You’ve destroyed an illusion. But the time will come to abandon your illusions and face reality. Then, you will know true pain.”

Sephiroth disappears for the last time, his body surrounded by his signature dark fog and the rainbow ripples. A piano rendition of Tifa’s theme begins. Cloud’s orb rises into the air and becomes a crystal, with the same shape and glow as the one we see in Eclipse Contact. The following dialogue is illuminating:

“Cloud: I will fight. The light will lead me where I need to go.

Wol: You sure? Wasn’t that [crystal] Sephiroth’s?

Cloud: I heard Sephiroth's voice, at the end. Inside me. Whatever he put in me, it’s still in there. Someday I’ll settle that score. If I can't avoid destiny, I might as well face it head-on.

Wol: Yeah. That was quite a speech, Cloud. Surprised you made it through without laughing.

Cloud: Yeah, forget I said it. I will too.

Echo: Forgetting won’t make it go away. Even if the words fade from memory, your dream will never disappear. Not until it becomes real.“

The crystal shines as though in response.

“Echo: See? See, that's how the light of hope works. Hope can turn your dreams into reality.

Cloud: Yeah. I guess so. I might forget this world, but I won’t forget hope. And my reality, that’s for me to live.”

Tifa’s theme ends. Cloud approaches the crystal, and disappears in a beam of blinding light. Once Cloud has vanished with the crystal, Aerith’s theme begins playing. A few pale feathers with a slight orange tint (the color of MFF) float down onto the floor where he stood seconds before. The image fades to black. The credits roll, and Aerith’s theme continues all the way through.
Once both the final name in the credits and Aerith’s theme fade, we’re surprised by a sudden, troubling image: Sephiroth appears in a frightening flash, standing amidst the flames of Nibelheim. When his image fades to black, the collaboration title *“Final Fantasy VII x Mobius Final Fantasy”*appears on the screen. The FFVII title is surrounded by the 1997 meteor logo. Then, a flash of light: the titles reappear, except this time, they read “Final Fantasy VII REMAKE x Mobius Final Fantasy”. The new Remake Meteor logo replaces the 1997 version. As soon as these changes to the FFVIItitle and meteor logo occur, Aerith’s theme returns. It plays on until the game ends a few seconds later, the screen fading to black.
III. e) ii. 2) Fact Analysis
The introduction cutscene shows that MFF Cloud travelled from Eclipse Contact to Fatal Calling via Lifestream. It’s unclear how much time has passed in between, but the atemporal nature of the Lifestream makes the question irrelevant. My theory that MFF Cloud has died is corroborated by the way he’s depicted in the opening cutscene: his eyes are closed and his body is limp as the Lifestream carries him.
Eclipse Contact ended with Echo’s claim that Cloud will face his true self and confront his past while he journeys to his Promised Land. This description resembles what Cloud experienced in the OG Lifestream sequence (disk 2, chapter 8). Indeed, Fatal Calling revolves around the same topics the Lifestream sequence addresses: the truth about the Nibelheim incident, Hojo’s experiments, young Cloud’s crush on Tifa, etc. The opening cutscene shows Cloud being transported to his Promised Land and facing his past on the way there, just like Echo said he would.
Let’s now take a long detour to examine the song that plays during the opening cutscene of Fatal Calling: “The Promised Land” theme from Advent Children. The title and general subject of this song are obviously relevant to the cutscene, but there must be more to its inclusion than that. Perhaps the lyrics can help us understand its appearance in the opening cutscene of Fatal Calling. Here are the unofficial English lyrics (translated from the original Japanese lyrics by an anonymous fan and verified by me via DeepL):

“Why do we cling together?
Why do we give punishment to lesser hearts?
The planet did not forgive us
Did not forgive us
The planet did not forgive us
Did not forgive us
The pulse of veins flows through the earth
A faint, faint pulse
Of a heart drawn to death
A gentle life returns to the planet
Is it necessary to sacrifice souls?
Why do we cling together?
Why do we beg for forgiveness
In the Promised Land?” (“‘The Promised Land’ (theme)” by Final Fantasy Wiki).

The song appears to be a regretful lament of human behavior, expressed by the repetition of “Why do we […]?” questions. The behaviors listed are all typically human ones: the terms “[clinging] together” and “[giving] punishment to [the] lesser” express the uniquely human nature of tribalism and the consequences of the fear and hatred it can generate, and “[begging] for forgiveness in the Promised Land” is likely a reference to the human hypocrisy of only feeling sorry for one’s crimes when judgement day arrives. This last line describes a scenario where someone remains passive or ignorant in the face of something important, only to realize its essentiality once it’s too late. The repeated“The planet did not forgive us” lines reflect the fear of being condemned forever because of one’s mistakes, as though the planet is a deity one has sinned against. The lyric describing a pulse in the earth is obviously about the planet being alive— a reference to the Lifestream. But the pulse is faint and weak and the planet is dying, perishing because of mankind’s greed. This is an indictment of mako energy. The line “A gentle life returns to the planet” refers to an innocent’s soul returning to the Lifestream after death, while the next lyric “Is it necessary to sacrifice souls?” protests the “sacrifice” of the planet’s soul energy for mako production. In all this darkness, this song’s mention of “forgiveness in the Promised Land” leaves a modicum of hope for a better place, however meek, even though mankind might not deserve it. The song “The Promised Land” is both a lament of mankind’s ways and a plea for mercy, with religious and/or spiritual undertones. The song’s themes seem to be: the Promised Land itself, regret and shame, the sins and foolishness of mankind, the death of innocents, grief, Cetra spirituality, and a meek, quiet hope despite it all. The most interesting aspect of the song is its antithetical portrayal of death as a thing of both despair and hope, condemnation and salvation, cruelty and mercy, suffering and relief. Maybe we can glean more information about this theme’s significance in the world of FFVII if we examine the contexts in which it appears.
Importantly, the song plays in Marlene’s introductory narration of Advent Children, meaning its themes are related or similar to the film’s. I highly recommend listening and watching it again, even if you remember this iconic segment. Marlene references Aerith’s sacrifice as the image of Cloud lowering her into the water is shown. Note that Marlene says “Sadness was the price to see it end” (2:36) after we are shown Aerith’s death and her subsequent unleashing of the Lifestream (1:49-2:24): Aerith’s innocent life was sacrificed for the planet’s survival. The lyrics “A gentle life returns to the planet” and “Is it necessary to sacrifice souls?” suit Aerith’s situation quite well.
The theme also plays in Advent Children as Kadaj dies in Cloud’s arms (1:45:00-1:47:55), hearing Aerith’s gentle voice and reaching up to take her invisible hand. Here is what Aerith says to him in his dying moments as “The Promised Land” plays:

“Aerith’s voice: Kadaj?
Kadaj: Huh?
The dark sky has gone with Sephiroth. Healing rain starts falling from bright clouds. The rain no longer hurts Kadaj.
Aerith’s voice: You don’t have to hang on any longer.
Kadaj: Mother! Is that…?
Aerith’s voice: Everyone’s waiting, if you’re ready.
Kadaj nods his head slightly in acceptance. He holds out his hand, and slowly evaporates into the Lifestream. Cloud watches […]” (Advent Children).

Kadaj is brought into the Lifestream by Aerith as she provides rain from the Lifestream. All those with geostigma are healed by the rain, and Tifa feels Aerith’s presence as the party celebrates:

“Tifa, looking out at the falling rain […]: Somehow, I knew you were there. Thank you” (Advent Children).

Cloud stands in the rain with a smile —his first in the whole film—, closes his eyes and basks in Aerith’s healing with his face upturned. He is finally at peace:

“Cloud’s expression is one of peace as the [Lifestream] rain patters against him” (Final Fantasy VII Advent Children English script, “[83] Atop the Shinra Building”).

One thing is clear: the track “The Promised Land” accompanies Aerith. It only makes sense, since we’ve seen overwhelming evidence that she is Cloud’s Promised Land, and since she occupies the Lifestream —which some consider the Promised Land as it is where souls go after death— during the events of Advent Children. Note that when the piece plays, Cloud is shown either mourning Aerith and releasing her into the river at the Cetra capital, or basking in her presence, smiling with relief at the peaceful feeling that she’s somewhere near: these two opposing scenes reflect the song’s antithetical portrayal of death.
Additionally, the song’s themes of regret, shame concerning one’s sins and a small hope perfectly describe Cloud’s character arc and feelings in Advent Children. Cloud regrets his inability to save Aerith, which he considers a sin. Further, he only realized how important she is to him once it was too late to tell her. And of course, he harbors a fragile yet important hope that he’ll be reunited with her in the Promised Land:

“‘Can sins ever be forgiven?’ — Cloud asks this to Vincent, who mutters a brief answer. For both of them, ‘I couldn't protect my loved one’ is the sense of guilt that they carry, so their words resonate with weight” (FFVII 10th Anniversary Ultimania Revised Edition, “Chapter 2: Character in FFVIIWorld”, “Vincent Valentine”, “In Advent Children”, page 72).

&

"’It is my sin that I couldn't protect my loved one’ — under this assumption, Cloud closes off his heart. What will the reunion with Aerith bring him? ‘I... think I want to be forgiven. Yeah, I just want to be forgiven’” (FFVII 10th Anniversary Ultimania Revised Edition, “Chapter 2: Character in FFVIIWorld”, “Cloud Strife”, “In Advent Children”, page 40).

&

“Cloud, after seeing Aerith’s hand reach for him through the Lifestream: … I think I'm beginning to understand.
Tifa: What?

Cloud: An answer from the Planet… the Promised Land... I think I can meet her... there” (disk 3, chapter 3).

Just as the song and Marlene express in the introduction of the film, Aerith was innocent, and her sacrifice generated great grief. Cloud finally experiences peace when he feels her presence in the healing rain, and he smiles: he’s glad to be with her again, even if it’s only for a brief moment of tangential respite.
The scene depicts Aerith guiding Kadaj into the Lifestream as the song plays, tying her to the concept and theme song of the Promised Land once more. This connection is later solidified by Tifa’s thanks to the late flower girl. All of this evidence shows us that this musical theme is intimately linked to Aerith, as it never plays in her absence. After all, the song speaks of sins, the death of innocents, forgiveness, grief, a small sense of hope, regret and the afterlife: all themes relevant to Cloud’s feelings surrounding Aerith’s death in and outside of Advent Children.
The Remake OST also includes a version of this piece called “The Promised Land - Cycle of Life”. This iteration of the theme begins playing in the wake of the first bombing mission, right after Sephiroth taunts Cloud with his mother’s dying words in Sector 8 (chapter 2). Sephiroth appears to Cloud surrounded by flames, evoking the Nibelheim massacre, and the theme begins playing in the background once he disappears, continuing (13:17-15:30) as Cloud walks through the sector, encountering fires and destruction all around him. This version of the Promised Land theme is meant to emphasize the deaths of the innocent Nibelheim townsfolk and the innocents in Sector 8. This dreadful atmosphere is amplified by the cries of despair that ring all around as Cloud passes by NPC Sector 8 residents. Perhaps the themes of tribalism and mankind’s sin are relevant to this scene as well, since Shinra and Avalanche are two distinct and warring groups whose quarrels, regardless of their necessity, result in the deaths of innocents. The theme of guilt also emerges, reflecting the Avalanche members’ feelings upon seeing the unintended collateral damage of the explosion. “The Promised Land - Cycle of Life” plays until Cloud encounters Aerith on Loveless. So it seems in this scenario, the heavy weight of death and despair is lifted when Cloud meets the lively, cheery Aerith. Once more, Aerith is central to the musical theme of the Promised Land, as well as to the concept itself.
I also noticed that a version of the song plays as Cloud and the party ready to enter the Forgotten Capital to save Aerith in Rebirth’s chapter 14: it truly adds the weight of her upcoming death to the scene.
Back to Fatal Calling, the scene where Cloud regains his strength is quite mysterious. Wol says Cloud’s orb regained its “guiding light” light because of its proximity to the mako reactor. In the moment his strength is replenished, Cloud is shown tilting his head back and closing his eyes: this is reminiscent of the scene in Advent Children when he stands under Aerith’s healing Lifestream rain, feeling at peace. The rainbow ripples shining from the orb indicate that something is crossing the boundaries of worlds. Since the mako reactor pumps up the Lifestream, being near a reactor also means being physically near the Lifestream. This means Aerith’s spirit is within proximity. In my opinion, Aerith was able to heal Cloud from the Lifestream, just like in Advent Children. However, Aerith is not in Palamecia with him: her healing had to travel there through the Lifestream, transcending the boundaries of worlds, hence the rainbow ripples.
Let’s now address the appearance of Tifa’s character theme in Fatal Calling. Since Fatal Calling is all about discovering Cloud’s past in Nibelheim and then in Hojo’s lab, it makes lots of sense for Tifa’s theme to play as the crystal appears. In OG’s Lifestream sequence (disk 2 chapter 8), she’s the one there helping Cloud sort through his past instead of Wol and Echo. Cloud even picks up a piece of his childhood crush on Tifa in Fatal Calling as a shard of his memory. After all, this crush was the catalyst for him joining SOLDIER, and everything that transpired in consequence:

“Cloud: That was the first time I heard about Sephiroth. If I got strong like Sephiroth, then everyone might... If I could just get stronger... Then even Tifa would have to notice me” (FFVII OG, disk 2, chapter 8).

Additionally, it’s fitting that her theme should begin right after Sephiroth speaks of “[abandoning] your illusions and [facing] reality”, considering that Cloud’s false persona was concocted by Jenova using Tifa’s mistaken impressions of Cloud:

“While being tended to by a station worker in the Sector 7 Slum train station, [Cloud] was reunited with Tifa, and using the abilities of Jenova’s cells, formed a new personality” (FFVII 10th Anniversary Ultimania Revised Edition, “Chapter 2: Character in FFVII World, “Cloud Strife”, “Cloud Behavior Record, Compilation of FFVII”, page 40).

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“(Image caption:) A new personality takes shape the moment he sees Tifa” (FFVII Story Playback, “Story Check: Tifa’s Flashback”).

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“Tifa (to Cloud): Deep down, you're a pretty nice guy. Didn't see it when we were kids, but...” (Remake, chapter 14).

Like most of you, I turned to the internet for answers on this drug - will it work? What can I expect? But there really isn’t enough out there. So I figured I’d document my journey here a little in case others can relate. First off, I’m actually not weighing myself in. Weigh ins have really messed up my mental state over the years and my doctor told me that I still need to WANT to change and put in the work with diet and exercise and contrave will support me. But im a 40year old female around 260lbs and I took a “before” photo to track. (I often lose inches over weight initially which messes with my head so photos help me see change)
These last three days have been wonderful! I’m on just one pill in the am. I have walked into my kitchen from habit, I kid you not, over 100times and I stand there not knowing what I want. The food noise is quieted and I have no interest in any of my comfort foods. I went grocery shopping and usually I’d have the debate with myself over “just one last day of eating whatever I want” vs “eat healthy you’re on a diet” and it was radio silence…. So much so I just didn’t know what to buy… so I got a few basics and left. Crazy!! I use to spend every minute of the day obsessing over what I was going to eat that day and I feel free for the first time.
One thing I do not enjoy is that I haven’t been able to get through my morning coffee. I usually enjoy 4-5 coffees a day - it’s my favourite thing, but now I have a few sips and I’m uninterested. If this doesn’t tell me it’s really working on the addiction component in my brain, nothing will!
I realize it’s only three days in but I’d say it’s going exactly what I needed it to do for me. The weight loss I’m sure will come but for now I’m really happy it’s supporting me exactly as I had hoped!
Side effects so far - waking up at 2am, lots of dreaming, and some heartburn.
Tell me! Have you noticed how quiet your mind is too??

I first had abdominal/arm weight gain (with purple striae) and hirsutism several years ago, and have been actively trying to find answers about the cause for almost the last 4 years.
Since then I’ve had (very frequent) headaches, and consistent brain fog/trouble concentrating, memory issues and trouble putting sentences together, extreme fatigue and nighttime insomnia, hot flashes/night sweats, permanent red face, joint stiffness, occasionally blurry vision, constant high heart rate, slow progression of the hirsutism, hair loss on my head, bruises/marks linger for weeks, and feelings of emotional instability. Probably forgetting some. Many of these are recent in the last year.
I have elevated glucose and mildly elevated prolactin (40s) for the last few years. Normal blood cortisol/ACTH (though only done in the afternoon) and 2 UFCs over the 4 years that were normal.
I was told the prolactin meant there could be an adenoma for the past few years and finally had the MRI done after asking if it could at least be ruled out - 3.5mm pituitary adenoma.
I’ve seen a few doctors and they have either suggested a psychological cause, or told me that an adenoma is meaningless, harmless, and very common. Nothing to monitor or look at again. Every case study I’ve read, finding the adenoma was like the final puzzle piece that brought it all together, especially in light of normal bloodwork. To hear that it’s inconsequential hasn’t been sitting right with me. Hard to ignore the brain tumor and go about my life never thinking about it again.
Am I way off base here? Is this really nothing noteworthy and just some very normal menopausal-type symptoms and the no-energy, never enough sleep of early 30s? Will an anxiety med stop my dark hair growth? All joking aside, to hear “you’re fine” over and over while I can barely stay awake through the day and my heart rate sits around 110 on a good day has been demoralizing.
I’ve lurked here long enough to know many of you have struggled with the exhausting process of diagnosis. I’m just only doubting myself and wondering if I’m on the wrong track and maybe need to pursue a different type of specialist. I know an adenoma can be nonfunctional and plenty of people have no symptoms, but is an adenoma that was searched for due to symptoms sometimes just no big deal? Does this sound like Cushings is even still a possibility? I would need a new doctor regardless because current one says no further evaluation or investigation is necessary.

The global green coffee market size was valued at USD 34.03 billion in 2020. The market value is estimated to increase from USD 35.40 billion in 2021 to USD 47.22 billion by 2028 with a CAGR of 4.20% during the forecast period. The market is gaining momentum from the rising consumer awareness toward various health benefits of the product among consumers. The product is also gaining popularity in nutraceutical products and dietary supplements. Fortune Business Insights presents this information in its report titled “Green Coffee Market, 2021-2028."
Green coffee has gained tremendous popularity across the world over the past few years. Its demand is increasing due to growing consumer inclination towards functional foods & beverages and plant-based dietary supplements. Specialty coffee varieties such as green coffee beans are attracting an enormous consumer base worldwide. With increased disposable incomes, consumers are increasingly spending on premium-quality food & beverage products. These factors will work in favor of the market expansion during the forecast timeline.
~Information Source -~
~https://www.fortunebusinessinsights.com/green-coffee-market-106635~
~Segments:~
Based on type, the market is bifurcated into Arabica and Robusta.
On the basis of end product, the market is divided into roasted coffee, green coffee bean extract, and instant/soluble coffee.
Geographically, the market is split into North America, South America, Asia Pacific, Europe, and the Middle East & Africa.
~Report Coverage-~
The report offers:

• Major growth drivers, restraining factors, opportunities, and potential challenges for the market.
• Comprehensive insights into the regional developments.
• List of major industry players.
• Key strategies adopted by the market players.
• Latest industry developments such as product launches, partnerships, mergers, and acquisitions.

~Drivers & Restraints~:
Growing Use in Nutraceuticals & Dietary Supplements to Boost Market Growth
The green coffee market growth is primarily driven by the increasing awareness towards the various health benefits of the product among consumers. Green coffee beans are a major source of chlorogenic acid, which is an antioxidant that can be absorbed in the body readily. High antioxidant content has thus increased the product popularity significantly. Studies have also shown that the beverage can aid weight loss. This factor is driving its adoption among obese and overweight individuals.
Attributed to the aforementioned health benefits, green coffee is being increasingly used in nutraceutical products and dietary supplements. Increased focus over healthy and immunity will thus help the market proliferate over the projected timeframe.
However, price volatility of green coffee beans could hamper the market growth to some extent.
~Regional Insights~:
Europe is expected to lead the global green coffee market share during 2021-2028. The region is witnessing a notable uptick in product adoption for further processing in instant coffee and roasted coffee products. Specialty coffee products are gaining popularity among health-conscious consumers across Germany, Spain, and Italy.
North America will witness growth owing to the thriving nutraceutical sector. The region is witnessing heavy usage of nutraceutical products and dietary supplements. Rise of the fitness sector and presence of major players such as Starbucks will drive the regional market forward.
Meanwhile, the market is Asia Pacific will record notable growth during the analysis period due to rising disposable incomes of consumers and increased spending on premium-quality coffee products.
~Competitive Landscape~
~Industry Development:~
June 2021: Neumann Kaffee Groupe partnered with Advanced Coffee Equity to conduct a quality control-focused training to capitalize on the growing green coffee trend in the U.S.
List of Key Players Profiled in the Report:

• The Hamburg Coffee Company (Germany)
• Neumann Kaffee Gruppe (Germany)
• Merchants of Green Coffee (U.S.)
• Belco S.A. (France)
• Starbucks Corporation (U.S.)
• Nordic Approach S.A. (Norway)
• Golden Bean Trade (Brazil)
• Atlantica Coffee (Brazil)
• Group MAGNUS BRAZIL-The Green Coffee Brazil (Brazil)
• WS Cafe (Vietnam)

(continuation of part 1)

III. Searching for Aerith Beyond FFVII

There were absolutely no answers in Remake or OG (at this point in my research, Rebirth wasn’t released yet), no matter how much I looked; nothing at all hinted at how Cloud could’ve obtained the memories of OG that emerge in Remake as MOTFs. I knew I had to look elsewhere to search for more clues, so I decided to check every piece of media ever released by SE with a mention of Cloud or Aerith in it, digging for hints in the compilation and beyond.
And boy, did I find them.
III. a) Core Worlds and Suspension Worlds
There are a couple of general FF rules that we need to establish before going forward.
It’s important to note that there are multiple realms in which the FF stories take place, each with a different name, history and society. This ensures that all FF stories occur separately, never intercepting or interacting— though they do have creatures like moogles and chocobos in common, as well as concepts like airships, gil, magic and some form of crystal. For simplicity, I will refer to these separate worlds in which the numbered FF games (FFI, FFII, FFIII, etc) occur as “core worlds”.
Characters from different core worlds may appear together in non-numbered FF games, the events of which have no impact on the core world at all: it seems that sometime after a FF character has reached the end of their core world’s plot-line, they may somehow be summoned to far-removed realms where they will face new adventures. I call these far-removed realms “suspension worlds”. One example of a FF game that takes place in a suspension world is Dissidia Final Fantasy, wherein characters from multiple core worlds unite to accomplish a mission as a team.
III. b) Final Fantasy Tactics
First on our list of non-compilation SE games to explore is 1997’s Final Fantasy Tactics (FFT), a game whose plot takes place in the suspension world of Ivalice. Let’s plot out the relevant events, and then analyze!
III. b) i. Fact-Finding
The main character of FFT, Ramza, encounters a brunette flower peddler with Aerith’s iconic, gravity-defying bangs:
\"Aeris\" in FFT's Ivalice
If you choose to buy a flower from her, she express her relief: apparently, business isn’t going well because no one is interested in flowers. The girl wistfully dreams aloud:

“When is my knight in shining armor going to take me away from here...?”

Later, Ramza and his companions encounter a mysterious machine that can summon people from across universes. The machine is activated, and a rather rude young man with spiky blonde hair appears. Cloud claims he used to be in SOLDIER, and says the last thing he remembers is “getting stuck in the current”. He looks to be disoriented and lost, and suffers from piercing headaches. Mere moments after being summoned to Ivalice, Cloud rambles:

“What’s this? My fingers are tingling… My eyes… they’re burning… Stop… stop it [Se]phiroth…”

He dashes out of the room, but not without announcing:

“I must go… must go to that place…”

Outside, Cloud encounters the brunette flower girl Ramza met earlier. She offers Cloud a flower, but he only stares at her wordlessly:

“Flower girl: Buy a flower? Only 1 gil.
Cloud: …
Flower girl: Something wrong? Do I resemble someone?”
Cloud: No… it’s nothing.”

As soon as Cloud leaves, a gang of ruffians surround the flower girl and start harassing her, demanding payment that’s apparently overdue. One of them finally calls her by her name: “Aeris”. He grabs her, insinuating that he might sexually assault her in lieu of payment. Aeris is not strong enough to push him away. That’s when Cloud returns:

“Cloud: Get your hand off her!
Thug: What did you say!?
Cloud: Didn't you hear me? Get your dirty hand off her!
[…]
Cloud, to Aeris: Go… now.”

Aeris heeds Cloud’s advice, fleeing the scene before a fight between Cloud and the thug can break out. After Cloud scares the ruffians off with the help of Ramza and his companions, he speaks once more:

“I lost… something very important… Ever since, I’ve been lost […]. What should I do? What about this pain [?] Must go… to the Promised Land.”

III. b) ii. Fact Analysis
There’s a lot to unpack here, all of which you probably clocked in your head upon reading, but let’s put it down in writing.
While FFT Cloud’s memory is far from perfect, the Aeris he encounters in Ivalice doesn’t recognize him at all. FFVII Ultimania Omega addresses this question without answering it:

“[The flower seller’s] name is Aeris, and she has the same appearance and tone of voice as the Aeris of FFVII. However, when she comes across Cloud, she does not recognize him. Could she really be the same Aerith who appears in FFVII but with memory loss, or is she a completely different character?” (“#4 Proof of Omega”, “FFVII in Other Games”, “Final Fantasy Tactics”, page 560).

Regardless of her unknown identity and inability to recognize Cloud, FFT Aeris’ fantasy of a “knight in shining armor” is quite reminiscent of the flower girl/bodyguard dynamic we’ve come to know and love. Cloud’s armor doesn’t shine, but in my opinion, if you’re looking for the dystopian, corporatocratic equivalent of a knight, you can’t get much closer than a supposed-former-SOLDIER-turned-bodyguard. Additionally, despite his rude and cold attitude toward Ramza’s gang, the urgency with which Cloud swoops in to save the flower girl from the ruffians betrays a softer, warmer side to him: the flower girl/bodyguard dynamic strikes again!
FFT Cloud’s dialogue borrows two lines from the speech OG Cloud makes as Aerith lies dead in his arms (disk 1, chapter 28): “My fingers are tingling. My mouth is dry. My eyes are burning!” and “What are we supposed to do? What about my pain?” You might’ve noticed that this glimpse of grief Cloud experiences in FFT bears a resemblance to the fourth MOTF 4 experienced by Remake Cloud (see section “II. a)”). Could it be that FFT Cloud and Remake Cloud have something in common?
Shortly after being summoned to Ivalice, FFT Cloud declares that he must go to “that place”, a mysterious line that is later elucidated when he tells Ramza that he must go to the Promised Land and find the “very important” thing he’s lost. The Promised Land is the Cetra culture’s afterlife, meaning FFT Cloud is looking for someone who’s died, someone “very important” to him. OG suggests this is none other than Aerith:

“Cait Sith, reading Cloud’s fortune: You will find [what] you pursue. However, you will lose the most precious thing” (disk 1, chapter 16, English translation by Kotaku’s “Let’s Mosey: A Slow Translation of Final Fantasy Seven: Part Eight” by Tim Rogers, 9:42-9:52).

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“Cloud, after seeing Aerith’s hand reach for him through the Lifestream: … I think I'm beginning to understand.
Tifa: What?
Cloud: An answer from the Planet… the Promised Land... I think I can meet her... there” (disk 3, chapter 3).

Finally, let’s try to understand where on the OG timeline Cloud was summoned to this suspension world from and what he remembers. His comment about getting stuck in a current has to be about the Lifestream; apparently, on top of its atemporal nature, it can act as a conduit to other worlds. One only enters the Lifestream if they’ve somehow fallen into the core of the planet or once they’ve passed away and returned to the planet. Both scenarios merit consideration.
On the one hand, it’s possible that Cloud was summoned to Ivalice after he and Tifa fall into the core of the planet: this point in the FFVII OG timeline occurs after Aerith’s death and shortly before Cloud finds out he was never SOLDIER, which matches the gaps in FFT Cloud’s memory quite well. However, this scenario does not account for the vagueness with which FFT Cloud remembers Aerith and her death. Most importantly, Cloud’s realization that he can find Aerith in the Promised Land occurs much later in the game (FFVII OG, disk 3, chapter 3) than when he falls into the Lifestream with Tifa (FFVII OG, disk 2, chapter 8).
On the other hand, FFT Cloud’s vague yet persistent memories of Aerith suggest that he’s been summoned to Ivalice after his eventual death post-OG, but also that he’s lost quite a large portion of his memories. His incomplete memory loss is likely the result of Cloud’s individuality’s erosion by the Lifestream after death, which we discussed in section “II. a) ii.”. We can therefore surmise that by the time he is summoned to Ivalice from the Lifestream, Cloud has been dead for long enough that the Lifestream eroded a large portion of the memories of his lifetime. This post-death scenario is likelier than the first. The memory of Cloud’s realization that he was never SOLDIER must be gone, which explains why he claims otherwise upon being summoned to Ivalice. Contrastingly, vestiges of Cloud’s OG memories of Aerith cling to his soul, even after others have been wiped clean. Could this be a consequence of their soulmate bond? Could the strength of Cloud’s love and grief for Aerith have made his memories of her stronger and more difficult for the Lifestream to erode? Could it be both?
One thing is clear: Aerith is of fundamental importance to Cloud, even when he can’t quite remember her. In fact, the only other character he remembers and/or mentions in FFT is Sephiroth. It does make sense that the memories of those who have marked one’s soul forevermore would be the most difficult for the Lifestream to erode.
III. c) Dissidia Final Fantasy
The next stop on our travels through suspension worlds is 2008’s Dissidia Final Fantasy! Now strap in, because here’s where things get really serious.
III. c) i. Fact Finding
In the suspension world of Dissidia Final Fantasy (DFF), the goddess of harmony Cosmos and the god of discord Chaos are engaged in a never-ending cycle of conflict. Both deities need warriors to fight on their behalf, so they recruit core world characters into their respective teams by summoning them to DFF. Some of these summoned characters are FFIV’s Cecil, FFVI’s Terra, FFVII’s Sephiroth, FFX’s Tidus, and of course, FFVII’s Cloud. The warriors find themselves in the suspension world of DFF with no memories of their core worlds’ plotlines. However, as the DFF adventure progresses, they are able to recover pieces of their memories here and there. It isn’t clear how much they come to remember. Ultimately, the warriors hope to return home to their core worlds by fighting in this war and seeing to its end.
Cloud is summoned to DFF as a warrior on the side of Chaos, who seeks to destroy all existence. Sephiroth is also on Chaos’ side, meaning the two are teammates despite being enemies in their core world of FFVII. It just so happens that Tifa is a summoned warrior in DFF too, though she’s fighting on Cosmos’ side. Intrigued by her vague familiarity, Sephiroth hypothesizes that killing Tifa will bring back his memories of OG’s plot line: before long, the masamune wielder finds Tifa alone and corners her into a one-on-one fight. Thankfully, Cloud swoops in and saves her before Sephiroth can do any harm. Tifa is thankful for Cloud’s help, though confused that Cloud would elect to assist her and turn against a fellow warrior of Chaos; she doesn’t remember what Sephiroth and Cloud mean to each other in OG. In fact, Tifa doesn’t even remember Cloud’s name or that they share a core world, though Cloud feels somewhat familiar to her. For his part, Cloud at least remembers that Tifa is someone he cares about from his core world. As Tifa thanks Cloud for saving her from Sephiroth, something she says elicits an odd reaction from the warrior of Chaos:

“Tifa: The way you showed up and fought that guy off. It was a pretty cool thing to watch. You were like a hero, charging in to save the girl.
Cloud gasps at her words. She doesn’t notice” (Dissidia 012: Treachery of the Gods, report 5: “Unexpected Fulfillment 2”).

On another note, Cloud knows he will have to fight Tifa once the Cosmos-Chaos conflict comes to a head, as they are on opposing teams. He thinks to himself:

“Once [her] memories return, [she]’ll lose the will to fight just like I have. So... Before that can happen, I have to act...” (Dissidia 012: Treachery of the Gods, report 5: “Unexpected Fulfillment 2”).

In order to end the cycle of the conflict and to avoid fighting Tifa, Cloud decides to try and defeat Chaos himself. Predictably, Cloud is no match for the deity. As he dies, Cloud pleads the following to the goddess Cosmos:

“Cosmos, goddess of harmony. If you can hear me, listen to my plea. I beg you. Save her. Save my friend… Tifa.”

Cosmos hears him and responds immediately:

“Cosmos: An end to this conflict, and a life spared? This is your heart's desire? If your will remains unchanged, I shall bring you here when the battle draws to a close. Cloud. My chosen" (Dissidia 0.13: Treachery of the Gods, report 7: “Unexpected Fulfillment 3”).

Cloud’s wish is granted by Cosmos: the first phase of the conflict ends without Tifa getting hurt, and she is sent away from the suspension world of DFF before the second phase begins. Cloud is saved from death, and Cosmos enlists him into her team of warriors for phase two: this time, Cloud is fighting on the good side.
Now we enter phase two of the war. Cosmos tells her team of ten core world warriors that in order to save the world from Chaos’ destruction, they must collect what she describes as crystals containing the power to persist through darkness. I call these the “DFF crystals”. There are ten DFF crystals in total: one for every warrior in Cosmos’ group to find. To obtain their crystal, each hero must overcome a trial that will confront them with whatever personal struggle they faced in their core world; if they prove themselves worthy, their DFF crystal will appear to them. On one hand, some warriors’ DFF crystals simply take the form of the crystals found in their core world. For example, Onion Knight’s DFF crystal looks to be nothing more than one of FFIII’s elemental crystals, which hold little to no personal significance to him. On the other hand, some warriors’ DFF crystals symbolize something more personal to their respective warriors. For instance, Cecil’s DFF crystal looks to be one of FFIV’s dark crystals, which specifically represent the dichotomy of light and darkness he struggles with in his core world’s plot line. Cosmos describes the quest for the DFF crystals as follows:

“Cosmos: The crystals embody the strength to face despair. With ten gathered, there is hope yet to save the world. The path to your crystal will be perilous... and different for each and every one of you. But you must believe in and follow your own path. Even if you know not where that path leads" (Dissidia 013: Light to All, prologue: “A Final Hope”).

From this exposition, simply keep in mind that: Cloud must find his crystal by overcoming a personal trial, and his crystal may have the appearance of an object in OG that’s important to him.
Once the team is debriefed on their mission, Cloud remains reticent to fight; he doesn’t much like the mysterious nature of this conflict. Not knowing exactly what they’re all fighting for is clearly bothersome to the swordsman, and the idea of thoughtlessly engaging in battles leaves a bad taste in his mouth. Fellow warrior Firion understands that without a reason to fight, Cloud’s heart just isn’t in it. He imparts upon Cloud that he must have a dream he’s fighting to protect, something he wants to see come true, to motivate him to stop Chaos from destroying all existence. Unfortunately, Cloud doesn’t have a dream to preserve, or can’t find one for himself:

“Cloud: I've looked, but I'm still empty-handed. And without a dream, what do you suppose I should do? […] Maybe what I'm looking for... isn't here” (Dissidia 0.13: Light to All, chapter 1: “Beyond Doubt”, “Gateway of Good and Evil”).

Another fellow warrior, Cecil, expresses worry for Cloud, whose response evokes the main theme of FFVII OG:

“Cecil: Everyone's worried, Cloud. But... Do you shoulder a larger concern?
Cloud: Concern... Maybe a sense of loss" (Dissidia 0.13: Light to All, chapter 1: “Beyond Doubt”, “Beyond the Continent”).

Whatever Cloud is looking for “isn’t [there]”, and he feels “a sense of loss”: Cloud’s motivating dream has been lost to him. This is later reasserted in a conversation with Terra, another warrior of Cosmos:

“Terra: And you, Cloud... What's your dream?
Cloud: I've lost mine" (Dissidia 0.13: Light to All, chapter 3: “The Chosen Battle”, “Gateway of True Intent”).

Later, Cloud encounters and fights Sephiroth, who is still a part of Chaos’ team. Sephiroth is defeated, but not before he’s taunted Cloud with his habitual puppet talk. However, Cloud remains strong and refutes Sephiroth’s manipulation, asserting that only he can determine his own path. This must’ve been Cloud’s personal trial, because his crystal appears at that very moment: it is a small, light green orb that looks like materia from his core world. Having pocketed his crystal, Cloud decides he must find his own reason to fight. Interestingly, his search is depicted as intertwined with Fate:

“Cloud: Even if I have my doubts... I have to find my own answer […] Until then, I'll keep fighting.
Narration: The warrior has vowed to keep fighting— and keep fighting he will […]. Etched in destiny, his quest for answers continues on” (Dissidia 0.13: Light to All, chapter 1: “Beyond Doubt”, “Gulg Gateway”).

Later, the nemeses meet again in a segment called “Recurring Tragedy”. Their interactions here are particularly interesting. Sephiroth speaks of making Cloud suffer through despair and pain as though referencing their history together:

"Sephiroth: This disease called hope is eating you alive. The world of suffering was born out of such half-baked ideals.
Cloud: If that's the case, I have to endure the suffering. There's no moving on if I run from it.
Sephiroth: If that is what you wish for, you shall drown in the pain. I'll lead you to true despair. [My] shadow is burned into your heart. We'll meet again, Cloud. I'll keep coming back— as long as you are who you are."
Sephiroth disappears. Cloud looks out into the distance before the scene ends.
“Cloud: No thanks. The one I really want to meet is…” (Dissidia 013: Light to All, epilogue: “Conclusion of a Cycle”, “Recurring Tragedy”).

This final line suggests Cloud has finally found a reason to fight: he wants to meet someone unspecified.
Finally, after the war has ended, we arrive at the final cutscene of DFF. I will let you read the full script, with notes added by me in bold behind the spoiler censors. Please do not read my notes if you do not wish to encounter spoilers for FFI, FFII, FFIII, FFIV, FFV, FFVI, FFVIII, FFIX or FFX:

“[The] heroes are all standing together in a grassy field with a forest behind them. Birds are chirping, the sun is shining brightly, and the wind is blowing gently. The heroes look around them in awe. They're all holding their crystals.
WoL: The battle has come to an end...
Tidus notices that his crystal has begun to emanate a blue glow.>! His crystal is a movie sphere from his core world of FFX: a capsule containing sounds and images that people record for later viewing. Tidus’ crystal likely represents the specific movie sphere recorded by his love interest Yuna, which revealed that she’d loved him from the beginning.!<
Tidus: Gotta go, huh...
The blue glow transfers to him as well. He turns to look at the others
[…] Tidus grins at the others, then turns and runs toward a nearby lake. He leaps into it in a manner reminiscent of [the events] of FFX. He vanishes as he descends toward the lake.
Zidane: We're not vanishing. We're returning—
Zidane is sitting on a tree limb as he says this. His crystal begins to glow gold, as does he. His crystal is shaped like a highly important ‘progenitor of all life’ crystal from his core world of FFIX.
Zidane: — to where we're supposed to be.
Zidane spins around the tree limb with the use of his tail and launches toward the sun. He's lost to view.
A white feather then drifts down from that direction and Squall catches it. The feather is reminiscent of his love Rinoa Heartilly, whose character symbol is a white feather. In fact, Squall’s crystal looks like a mix of his revolver gunblade from FFVIII and Rinoa’s feather motif. [Squall glows blue.]
Squall: Perhaps we can go on a mission together again.
Squall vanishes.
Cloud is then visible, standing in [a] flower field. The flowers are white and yellow. Cloud has his crystal, a light green materia from his core world of FFVII, in hand.
Cloud: [(Chuckles shortly, like a scoff)] Not interested.
Cloud walks off into the flower field, gaining a green glow. He vanishes.
A snowflake then falls into Terra's right hand as her crystal begins to glow pink. The flames drawn on her crystal represent her power, which is connected to the element of fire: her character arc in FFVI.
Terra: I think I've learned how to keep going. Thank you— and take care.
Terra glows pink and then vanishes. Bartz throws a stick. He's glowing pink as well.
Bartz: When you're having the most fun, that's when time always flies. His crystal is the Adamantite from his core world of FFV.
Bartz vanishes.
Cecil: It's mine to pass on—
A moon appears behind Cecil and goes through its phases as he begins to glow blue. His crystal has shadowed and illuminated parts, representing the duality of his character, which is central to his personal arc in his core world of FFIV. It also represents his brother Golbez, who has chosen the darkness. Cecil considers his familial bond with Golbez his guiding light and hopes to be with him someday.
Cecil: — this strength I've gained from everyone.
Cecil vanishes.
Onion Knight hugs his crystal and looks up toward the sky. His crystal is shaped like those found in his core world of FFIII**.**
Onion Knight: Everyone... thank you!
OK briefly glows blue and then vanishes.
There are wild roses at Firion's feet. He and WoL are looking toward the sky. WoL suddenly begins walking away while Firion looks down and sees the roses.
Firion: This isn't the end. Another dream is waiting to begin.
His crystal is the color of the wild roses that were at the center of his dream and of his motivation to fight Chaos. The roses are also the emblem of the Rebel Army he was a part of in his core world of FFII. His crystal is shaped like Pandaemonium, the final dungeon of his core world story. Firion gains a violet glow and then vanishes.
WoL is walking through the field and then comes to a stop. He's looking at something.
WoL: May the light forever shine upon us.”

As you can see, everyone’s crystal is very important to the story of their core world, and in the cases of at least Tidus, Squall, Terra and Cecil, the crystals represent something very personal. What about Cloud and his crystal, then? What about the dream he lost and the person he wants to meet? Let’s begin analyzing to answer these questions.
III. c) ii. Fact Analysis
Firstly, it’s clear to me that the Cloud that appears in DFF is a post-OG Cloud, given how many plot points from OG he interacts with. I’m reticent to say whether or not this post-OG Cloud is dead like in FFT, as he recovers many of his memories of OG during DFF and there is no evidence of him having passed away and joined the Lifestream.
The second thing I’d like to point out is Cloud’s strange reaction when Tifa compares him to a hero who swoops in and saves the girl from the bad guy. Cloud gasps, indicating that her words mean something to him; the trope Tifa references must therefore be included somewhere in the FFVII OG plot-line. Some of you are surely ahead of me by now, having realized that only the tragic antithesis of this trope appears in OG: Cloud is unable to save Aerith from Sephiroth (disk 1, chapter 28). Whether or not DFF Cloud remembers Aerith herself at this point, it’s clear he recalls the pain and guilt of losing Aerith to Sephiroth.
Next, let’s address Cloud’s lost dream: to meet an unspecified person. It seems Cloud is aware at this point that in OG, he was eternally separated from the person he dreams of meeting. So, who was he separated from in his core world? Who can he never meet again, even if his team of warriors defeats Chaos and Cloud returns to the realm of FFVII? There are a few options —his mother, his father, Zack, Jessie, Biggs, Wedge, and any other person he knew who died—, but the sheer narrative weight that Aerith’s untimely death carries makes it clear who he truly wants to meet. This is corroborated by Cloud’s “I think I can meet her… there” line in OG (disk 3 chapter 3), by FFT Cloud’s search for Aerith during his appearance in Ivalice, and by Cloud’s strange reaction to Tifa’s comparing him to a hero who swoops in and saves the girl from the bad guy. All the available evidence suggests that Cloud’s dream is indeed to reunite with Aerith, and that this dream is “lost” to him because she was killed by Sephiroth (disk 1, chapter 28). This would also explain the title of the DFF segment “Recurring Tragedy”, since as we all know, the ultimate tragedy of FFVII OG is Aerith’s death. Considering Sephiroth was the one to take Aerith away from Cloud, Sephiroth’s threats of drowning him in despair in “Recurring Tragedy” only solidify this interpretation of Cloud’s lost dream.
Finally, we arrive at the ending cutscene. Cosmos’ warriors return to where they belong to try and accomplish whatever dream they held as motivation during the Cosmos-Chaos conflict, each carrying their DFF crystal. Cloud is shown standing in a field of white and yellow flowers and walking deeper into it with a light green materia in hand. Why was a white and yellow flower field chosen to represent DFF Cloud’s dream? The answer is obvious. White and yellow flowers symbolize Aerith: she sold Cloud a yellow blossom upon first meeting him in OG (disk 1, chapter 1), and her yellow and white flowerbed cushioned Cloud’s fall when the two reunited in the Sector 5 church (disk 1, chapter 4). What’s more, we have the iconic credits video of the original cut of Advent Children to refer to, wherein Cloud is seen driving near flower fields. Aerith stands there (3:20), seemingly waiting for him. Here’s what Nomura had to say about this credits scene:

"[...] we filmed the video for the ending credits in Hawaii. There are fields of flowers on both sides of the road, and the colors —yellow and white— are the same as the flowers in Aerith's church […]. With Aerith, 'flowers' have been her image throughout the series” (FFVII Reunion Files, “Countdown to Reunion”, “Stories from CG Production”, page 87).

Even in the Advent Children Complete cut of the film, where Aerith is not shown standing in the field, the flowers and their symbolism of Aerith remain. That being so, it’s more than fair to say that the white and yellow flowers in DFF’s ending cutscene serve as yet another confirmation that Cloud’s dream is to be with Aerith.
With all of this established, we can address the nature of Cloud’s DFF crystal. As we established, every core world has its own version of a crystal, each possessing a distinct appearance, function and meaning. Materia are the crystals of FFVII, so one could be satisfied by the proposition that Cloud’s DFF crystal is simply meant to represent a random materia. However, I think Cloud’s crystal is specifically the White Materia, as it represents Aerith’s sacrifice, her importance to the plot and what she died fighting for. If any one object symbolizes her death, it’s the White Materia; it’s even given closeups during the event (2:33-3:02). Besides, unlike any other materia in FFVII, the White Materia is known to glow a light green when Holy has been activated:

“Bugenhagen: If [the prayer] reaches the planet, the White Materia will begin to glow a pale green” (FFVII OG, disk 2, chapter 15).

Here are pictures of the White Materia in OG and Advent Children, and two pictures of Cloud's DFF crystal (in order) so you can compare for yourself:
https://preview.redd.it/0qtumfeyfq0d1.jpg?width=386&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3995f010738c83fca0c5842a0564d0a9ad206dfd
https://preview.redd.it/0kj525tzfq0d1.jpg?width=1144&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=575573ef1d2c937635cf569d4a376886a24b384c
Cloud's DFF Crystal
Cloud’s DFF crystal
So far, in both suspension world games we’ve examined (FFT and DFF), Cloud is searching for Aerith. As a final note on DFF, it may interest you to know that codirector of the Remake trilogy Toriyama was actually a writer for DFF: he may have carried some themes from DFF to Remake…
III. d) Detour: The Final Fantasy 30th Anniversary Farewell Exposition
Before we hop onto the next suspension world, let’s return to ours for a quick detour: the 2018 Final Fantasy 30th Anniversary Expo. Themed with farewells and tragedy, this expo showcased the heartbreaking goodbyes featured in different FF games. Artwork, clips, quotes and images aplenty here! As the highly anticipated Remake was going to be coming out approximately a year and a half later, the FFVII section of the expo featured a few sneak peek Remake designs. This means the expo was at least partly curated with the Remake trilogy in mind; there could be interesting material in the FFVII section of the expo related to Remake. Let’s dive in!
Unsurprisingly, the focus of the FFVII section is Cloud and Aerith, since she is the loved one he lost in OG. Zack is also given a mention, however Aerith was the glaringly central star of the show. To showcase how important Aerith’s farewell in particular was to the expo, the FFVII portion was introduced by a photo of Cloud lowering Aerith into her watery grave and a video of her tragic death:
Final Fantasy 30th Anniversary Farewell Exposition, FFVII Introduction
The description under the video screen reads:

“She was gone in the blink of an eye. But the pain never went away.
Aerith awoke the ultimate magic to protect the planet and the people she loved. Yet her life came to a sudden end at the hands of Sephiroth, a man bent on seeing the world destroyed. Even the usually stoic Cloud couldn’t hide his grief at the unexpected death of an irreplaceable companion. ‘My fingers are tingling. My mouth is dry. My eyes are burning.’ True words, revealing Cloud’s deep sorrow” (Final Fantasy 30th Anniversary Exposition).

Conveniently enough for us, the expo’s tagline is “Who is the person you want to meet again?” Given that Aerith holds the spotlight in the FFVII section of the expo, it’s clear who SE is telling us Cloud wants to reunite with. Recall Cloud’s unfinished line in DFF: “The one I really want to meet is..." (Dissidia 013: Light to All, epilogue: “Conclusion of a Cycle”, “Recurring Tragedy”). We theorized that he must be referring to Aerith, and now, we are certain.
The expo also had pamphlet descriptions of the farewells depicted. Here is the general summary of FFVII‘s farewell story according to that pamphlet:

“The story follows the lead character Cloud, but it is the heroine, Aerith, who opens Cloud’s eyes and helps bring him closer to understanding the mystery that is his past. Through her, we draw closer to the truth of the story.
This scene, in which the heroine Aerith is lost, is easily the most shocking and tragic in the story. No one expected to say goodbye to such a major character in the middle of the story. Rumors of a secret way to revive Aerith spread, and it was clear players were having a hard time saying goodbye to her too. Even now, twenty years later, it still feels like a shocking turn of events” (Final Fantasy 30th Anniversary Exposition Pamphlet, page 36).

It’s interesting that SE would mention the rumors of Aerith’s revival circulated by players back in 1997, especially as fans were awaiting Remake’s release…
In light of everything we’ve analyzed so far, it can be said that between FFT (1997) and this farewell expo (2018), SE has consistently demonstrated that reuniting with Aerith is post-OG Cloud’s goal. That’s a period of over two decades— two decades of wishing, seeking, longing in real-world time for this character. This is a huge long-term commitment for SE to make, and you can bet the devs don’t take it lightly. Again and again, once the events of the OG game have ended, Cloud is shown to desire a reunion with Aerith. This ever-present and ever-insistent theme will become very important to us later in this analysis.
(continued in part 3)

I had a nasty cough around late FEB. It persisted for about six days. Lots of discharge. Seemed reminiscent of acute bronchitis (that I get once a year, in general). The residuals lasted a few weeks after (coughing with no production) which leads me to think it was pneumonia. Maybe.
Fast forward to the beginning of May and the nasty cough re-surfaced. Greatly elevated levels of discharge and fever the first couple of nights. Bad to the point of getting zero sleep over the first few days. Mid-week, I went in for an X-Ray and the docs said it might be TB which I have since learned is quite prevalent in this country. Did a follow-up CT scan a couple of days later and after the analysis came back, they said it could be either TB or pnuemonia.
The symptoms seem to have dimnished insofar as discharge is minimal (a few times a day, very light in color, practically clea sometimes bubbly) and I sleep more or less without issue. I took a week of broad-spectrum antibiotics after the effects were already diminshing (as directed). My wife now has a dry cough with nasal congestion, something I read is common for female TB-afflicted - this is after enjoying similar symptoms as desrcibed above.
I tried to track the "symptom progression stages" on google but had little luck outiside of "since the early 1700s" etc. For my part, I have not experienced loss of weight, appetite, or any more fevers or night-sweats (the latter in general being somewhat difficult to gauge as I've always been a fan of "sweat it out" - wearing a hoodie and winter pajamas under layers of blankets to nuke my body). I now sleep in my underwear without any current feve night sweat issues.
I'm a 38yr old human male, 173cm, 68kg. 10% body fat. Avid gym-goer (3-5 times a week). 95%+ of my food is healthy home-cooked stuff. I in general don't take any medicine for anything. Very much an "of my own flesh and will" kind of person. Also a veteran of both Iraq and Afghanistan with 2nd Ranger Battalion (exposed to burn barrels in '06 and millenia-old corpse/ fecal dust in Afghani sandstorms in '13). I've had a chronic light cough since...'13, though the VA docs have checked me and given me the all-clear numerous times since then. My wife, by comparison, takes ALL the meds in every circumstance.
When I DO get sick, it's 7 times out of 10 a lung-issue. Oh! When I was a baby I didn't get no tiddy milk. My wife (Russian) says that's why my immune system is shit. I tell her that tiddy milk laden with crack and meth wouldn't have done me any favors anyhow.

I've lost half a stone in two weeks and feel great. But.....I'm anxious that i won't be able to cope with being slim, that it will be too scary and I'll put the weight back on or even stop and sabotage my losses.
Is anyone else frightened of success? How are you coping with it? Have you found a safe way forward?

Hi everyone,
I'm fully committing to weight loss and have been reading through the sub. I noticed that some advice calculating calorie intake using TDEE instead of BMR. I checked a few different sites, entered my details (weight, height, age), and got an average TDEE of about 1900-2200.
Instead of using MyFitnessPal, I made an Excel sheet to track my meals since I've ordered meal preps from a small company that isn’t listed in the app.
I'm aiming for a TDEE of 2000 (a rough average from 3-4 different sites) with a 400-calorie deficit, and planned my diet around that. However, even after having five meals (I usually have three), my intake is still below what's needed. It feels weird to add another meal, making it six meals instead of my usual three meals while trying to lose weight. Am I doing something wrong here? P/s: My macro calculation is based on what ChatGPT recommend 😂, I think its 40% protein, 40% carb & 20% fat?
For context:

• Age: 38
• Height: 173cm
• Weight: 78-80kg (it fluctuates a lot, e.g., 78kg today but 80kg tomorrow)
• I am following a workout program that usually takes about 40-50 minutes and I end it with a slow steady state cardio that's usually about 20 mins (I either take a slow jog or if it's legs day, I'll usually take a slow walk instead)

What I am unsure about is:

1. It somewhat feels weird that I will be taking in more calories a day when I am trying to lose weight and I am afraid of having an adverse effect
2. Because I took the average TDEE from a few different sites, I am not entirely sure if I did it the right way. Does 2000 TDEE sound about right for my "stats"?
3. Some have advice me to increase my protein intake, but I don't know what else can I add in to increase my protein intake as this is already more than what I usually eat per day

Many thanks in advance

I’ve been on keto for about 6 weeks, and I’ve lost some weight. But just like any other dietary change and weight loss…
How do I know if I’m losing fat or losing lean muscle?
Do I have to get professionally tested periodically?
l’m a fully recovered from anorexia for 13 years, and do not and will not count calories or macros. My concern if my calorie intake drops too low in keto, then my body will start to burn muscle rather than fat. Or does this not happen in keto?
And yes, my doctor and I have discussed keto and the reasons for starting it.

So I’ve narrowed it down to these two pop-ups- the Forest River Rockwood premiere or the Rockwood Highwall.
I like the features and the design and Both can hold my family so I’m hoping you all might be able to offer some considerations I hadn’t thought of. I briefly considered hybrids (KZ sportsman) because of the increase sleeping capacity, but decided they weren’t for me. I don’t care for the build quality sacrifices made to keep the weight under my towing limits.
We are a family of seven when we’re all together blended family of seven when we’re all together. Four year old, twins, a second grader and teenage daughters. Most of the time we’ll only be five or six and my oldest daughter Will hopefully go to college in three years so I’ll pop up suits us for a while. Towing with a Honda pilot with the 5K tow package.
The models and considering are used and in excellent condition with full working AC, both owners barely used them.
Premier pros:
Sleeps “8” Lighter Shorter (easier to see out the back) Two refrigerators $1-$2k less than the Highwall Crescent seating around a larger table, and is a a extra wide Twin XL (50 x80)
Owner is throwing in lots of extras, including a microwave Keurig television leveling jacks, various camping wares
Cons: Curtain wall shower toilet Indoor stove right next to the bed, small. Outdoor grill is very basic propane bbq grill. The bench seat that folds out isn’t a true twin- the back cushions sit higher than the bench, so likely won’t get slept on.
High Wall pros:
Man is it nice! Hard wall shower Dual sink Oven Integrated microwave Outdoor grill is a legit 3-burner stove + sink (basically the premier’s kitchen for outside. Less items to fold down when closing it up 1 larger 3-way fridge (I’m not sure if the premier is a 3-way. Owner installed trailer brakes.
Owner is likely, throwing in a few extra dishes, but nothing else is really needed.
HW cons:
Much heavier Much taller 7 feet with the AC Sleeps 6 (but we can squeeze everyone in based on current ages) $1-$2k more expensive Loss of seating in lieu of the appliances above Smaller crescent dinette - extra wide twin (50x72)
CON for both is a they are bit over my original intended max of 10k. But it’s likely I can talk the premier owner down closer to my original budget.
Appreciate y’all‘s opinions and insight for a 40 something dad rediscovering Glamping

So this is probably going to be long but i’m going to try and give as much info as possible because im at a loss and need advice. my fiancé (28M) and i (25F) have been together going on 7 years. we have had a rocky couple of years together due to substance abuse issues on his end. i spent about 2 years of our relationship fighting with him and pleading with him to get help and to please be better. i spent countless nights crying myself to sleep, driving around trying to find him, fighting with him till all hours of the night,verbal and mental abuse, fighting with other people to protect him, etc. it got to the point where i was not taking care of my health (T1D) and i was losing a lot of weight (20 ish pounds maybe more) and i was not doing well at work, i hadn’t seen my family or friends, i was dying. i made excuses for him because he had lost his dad recently and i knew he was hurting. i made excuses bc i had lost a previous long term boyfriend before him to an OD, i felt like i couldn’t give up on him. fast forward he got better. he got sobered up and now doesn’t hardly drink besides socially or on occasion. he has been apologetic about the way he was before and he has treated me better. he takes care of me and helps me in ways no one else ever has. since things were going so well and i finally felt like our lives were back to where they should be we decided to start planning our wedding. our wedding is in 5 months and i’m panicking and debating on calling it off. we’ve spent well over 15k on this wedding though and it is my dream to spend my life with him but i don’t know if it’s truly the right thing to do. my heart says he’s the one and i love him but my brain is telling me to run. as fast as i fucking can. we’ve gotten into a few tiffs but nothing really as bad as this recently. monday night i came home and he was shit faced. i had an awful day at work and was exhusted and realized that since he had been home from work for 4 hours before me he didn’t do a single thing, not any dishes, put away laundry, make the bed, nothing at all. i don’t expect him to do these things all the time but i do expect a helping hand during the week since i work 2 jobs to support us and he just recently went back to work after losing several jobs due to his attendance. i have spent since last september being the bread winner while he jumped from job to job. anyway, when i got home i snapped at him and asked what on earth has he been doing for hours that he couldn’t just help me out a little bit with things in the house? i know i shouldn’t have snapped but i didn’t yell or swear i was just clearly angry and had a negstive angry tone. but he just looked at me and said “after everything i fucking do for you you want to act like this? fuck u” and slammed the door and left. i could then hear him on the phone with his friend talking badly about me. he went to our basement and played video games and continued to drink. me being the moron i am went down there to see what he was doing and we just ended up going back and forth because the second i opened my mouth to ask him why he was drinking and what is going on he started SCREAMING at me to get the fuck away from him annd then asking his friend if he could hear how fucking crazy i was. i eventually left. he stayed up too late and was clearly hung over so he couldn’t work his full shift, mind you this is his 3rd day at his new job. he claims it’s bc he rolled his ankle at work… he was walking fine and i didn’t see a single bruise or swelling on his ankle but ok. so the next day i texted him while he was home and i was at work basically saying i cannot do this shit again and i will not stay with him if i have to come home to him drunk again like i did for so long and i lost myself doing so. he pretty much just focused on the fact that it was my fault it escalated bc i came home and was being mean. i just feel like he could have just apologized for not helping out and just comforted me so i could calm down and maybe we could have put the laundry away together? he didn’t have to scream at me and say hurtful things right? idk. so i get home from work that day and he pretty much didn’t want to talk bc he was tired so he went to sleep and i cried myself to sleep lol. he did tell me i was immature for acting like this and im an adult and i need to get it together. so today is now wednesday. i text him while he is at work and so am i, expressing how i feel and that im really hurt. i also told him what my expectations are and if he can’t meet them then we need to call off the wedding. he responded with one word answers and then told me that our relationship is not to be talked about over text so he wasn’t going to read it and i should know that he hates reading long messages. in the past i’ve tried to call him about stuff to talk and work out and he screams so loud i either have to hang up or he just hangs up on me. so i came home today and tried to talk to him in person about all this. i wanted him to know that bc of my mental health issues (BPD, PTSD, and OCD) that i know im difficult sometimes but i am very sensitive so i really need him to try harder to not do and say the things he knows trigger me. 5 minutes into the convo he tried to turn the tv on while i was talking and told me he didn’t want to talk and he was done and i need to let it go. i was talking calmly and nice the entire time. i just wanted to feel heard. he started to scream at this point and cry like actually cry and jumped up and started to walk away and i just lost it and told him i wanted to break up. i said a lot of mean things to him that’s crossed a lot of lines and i shouldn’t have said but he just kept calling me crazy and dismissing me and it made me feel so small my reaction is to be as mean as i can to him so he hurts the way i am hurting . of course now i am the bad guy. the conversation got no where and i wasn’t able to even get to what the main topic was, before he started freaking out. Also he was screaming the entire time. which is one of my triggers due to childhood abuse. i feel so unloved right now and i don’t see a way out. i feel hopeless. should i have not brought it up and just stopped talking when he asked? please be kind i really need help and im embarrassed and ashamed of the situation.

I feel at a loss. I've started abusing alcohol which has been causing me to eat more which has triggered the binge-purge cycle. Back before I was in the hospital, it was the worst years of my life. I don't want to be like that again but my eating is getting out of control and it's so hard not to drink. My family keeps snacks in the house constantly and I can't just toss all the alcohol we have.
I know I shouldn't purge. "Just get back on track" they said, but I'm freaking out with how much I'm eating and my weight gain. I haven't cried this hard in so long. I had so much progress and it is going down the drain.
I'm worried it will get to the point I need outpatient again and no hospital in the city I moved back to does that. I'm freaking the fuck out. I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any advice? Its so hard when I live in a household with shared food/resources.

Hello
Some context:
I’ve been doing Noom since mid January and it’s been effective. I had an original goal of dropping from 96 kgs to 85 kgs which I did in 10 weeks. It was a little quick and I did feel a bit too hungry!
Since then in the last 7 weeks I lost another 2kg but the going is much slower and I I plateaued for 3-4 weeks. My aim is to get to about 78 kgs before the end of the year then maintain that weight.
I have a holiday overseas coming which is 3 weeks away seeing family and friends. I’m looking to kickback some and will be drinking more booze than my recent routine and socialising. I can cook a bit where I am staying but I don’t want to be cooking all the time as I am on holiday!
Any tips to enjoy the holiday and not go too wild? I don’t mind coming home having gained a KG but don’t want to let it slip badly.
I won’t be weighing myself or logging anything while I am away. It’s a ‘Noom break’ - but I still hope to be relatively sensible with food. And not get too into the drinks too often. But I won’t be logging any of it for 3 weeks.
The idea is that I will resume my weight loss thing when I get back as I still have another 5kg to lose to get to my desired weight.

TLDR: I am pissed about hideous predatory MLM marketing of poisonous Herbalife products. It’s affecting my health , wealth & relations, How do I stop them?
I’m sick and tired of many new nutrition/health/weight-loss/wellness clubs all over my area in Hyderabad. They’re all competing against one other, stealing each other’s members and their family by providing more referral perks/ family days/ picnics, etc etc marketing gimmicks, which are apparently mandatory.
They are so predatory, they call you like a school teacher for missing a “health class” everyday, members have to post their drink or what they are eating and join mandatory Heath webinars which is all bogus knowledge that is told by these idiots that memorised it from someone. They can’t answer single question. These mentors are uneducated, one of them was a mason who built my home, they have no idea what’s a calorie or a protein but go on and on for hours about it and these graduate members believe them and want us to join in.
This is destroying families, I’m sick and tired from persuading people away from it but my near and dear are so into this scam already, whatever I try, like showing medical papers, suggesting cheaper better alternatives, I even joined to show them the reality of pricing and commissions they are eating, nothing works, because the predatory club keeps persuading them otherwise. And they’ve definitely lost weight or got healthier for sure coz now they’re eating more protein, walking more steps, skipping meals for Herbalife bs. All of the healthier things that their loved ones suggested before but no, they will only do it after some uneducated brutes take money for them and taunt them to do it while feeding poison to their body and brain!
I want to stop this bullshit, but the ones getting scammed don’t believe anything I say, others around, even their loved ones don’t care as they think its not much big of a deal, they say they’ll just get bored of it and let go. But I’m seeing my loved ones destroy their health, wealth and reputation (by always trying to recruit others) since 2 years now.
I know Herbalife or those clubs are breaking some or the other law, how do I stop them? Whom do I report them to? I know Indian courts took action against Amway, there should be some way to start something against Herbalife, but how?
I know their pricing/commission models in detail and I know about the membership models these clubs are running. They sure don’t have any licenses to serve these drinks, or to give medical advice. They surely don’t pay taxes for receiving these monthly memberships fees as I know they earn lakhs per month on it but they still take government ration with white ration card(family earns less than 1 lakh a year).
How do I take it up? Is there anyone else sharing my frustration and agony?

I come off the pill 8 months ago and i've dealing with terrible side effects. Anxiety, weight gain, hormonal acne for the very first time in my life, joint pain, depression, lack of motivation, low libido, fatigue, hair loss the first month, migraine some days during the month.... I have them all!!! I bought the book Beyond The Pill from Dr Jolene Brighten. I want to do her protocol.... Did someone did it already? Is it hard to follow in terms of food and cooking? Did you see results? My book will arrive in 1 month and i'm kind of desperate... I would like to read some reviews from you. Thank you! :)

I have an appointment tomorrow with my doctor and I want to ask about starting weight loss medications but I don't know how to bring it up or if she will say no we've discussed weight loss surgery before but she wanted me to try to lose weight on my own first but I haven't been as successful as I wanted to be so how did you go about it

[M4A/F] Long-Term Cyberpunk Fantasy Roleplay
What's up, chooms? (Epic reference)
My name is Outcast/Necromes. Before we start off, let me just say a bit about me. I am a 22 year old male with 10+ years of writing experience within literate to novella writing style. I do a lot. I'm in a lot of fandoms and a lot of genres so I'm very flexible with things and setting but I am here more importantly to pitch a Cyberpunk Fantasy roleplay. Now what I mean by that is D&D + Cyberpunk. Shadowrun, that one kickass episode of Teen Titans Go for example. (The Night Begins To Shine will forever be in our heads and you cannot tell me otherwise.)
For about half a year I've been wanting to get into Shadowrun, which is a very niche TTRPG but I haven't the friends nor the book (yet), and I am itching to use one of my ocs I made for it.
Disclaimer: We don't need to do Shadowrun. If you know nothing about it I totally get it, we can just context the roleplay as simply Fantasy but Cyberpunk dystopia future. Cities, corporations, mercenaries and criminals biting back against the big corpos. Cyberpunk 2077 with elf ears or D&D with tons of neon.
I currently have two really eager ocs I would like to use, let me tell you about them.

• Jaksen "Reload" Kovachs - A young Orc who comes from a family who run a mercenary business. Usually lawful, they would undertake heavy heists and jobs for money in turn to keep business up. Jaksen, the youngest of three brothers, had to endure the loss of all three of his brothers getting slaughtered on live camera footage for breaking into a corporate building for a heist, costing them their lives. Jaksen, now feeling the weight of their death on his soul and his financial stability becomes a freelance mercenary operating in the underground, fixed with two fully cybernetic arms and dual pistols, he intends on taking on the underground himself. Hes ambitious but a little hotheaded. Skills learned from his life in a family of mercenaries, hes way in over his head and acts like a skilled and promising rookie with a patience and hotheaded issue that seems charming and ambitious in some ways but can make him an interesting liability as a toughguy at times.
  
• Levin (Levi) "Ghost-Rider" Remo - A rockabilly punk slum street mechanic who's family works as illegal scrappers. Levi from a young age showed tons of mechanical engineering prowess making him a prodigy and genius. Living in the slums would get him nowhere. To survive, his family would sneak into corporate warehouses and steal illegal parts to where Levi would take the parts for himself and begin building a militarized hover-bike that would land him on many lists. A genius and prodigy as stated, he scratched off any existence of his in the system and effectively became a personal mechanic / merc runner. Hes eccentric, hes cocky, hes funny. Hes got the brains and charisma to throw off certain people and the skills to weaponize anything or turn into one hell of a distraction.
  

I have two, maybe three more ideas and until I recieve the Shadowrun 6e book I'll likely be making more with the proper systems.
When it comes to plot we can do anything. I for one imagine a few of these:
(Note: The setting doesn't matter too much.)
Jaksen "Reload" Kovachs

• We start at a club, where Jaksen delivers a dufflebag of whatever we can discuss. This can lead to enforcement turning into a firefight and they must escape or its a bust and he runs with his temporary partner (your oc) or runs INTO a bystander and he must keep them out of danger (also your oc).
  
• A deal set to meet a warlord of the streets and Jaksen is forced to team up with someone new for robbing a smaller corporate building. We can discuss what the job is exactly.
  
• An assassin sent after the Orc Marksman, a kind of spy thriller that could lead to some more. Sloppy Orc doesn't watch his back too much.
  
• We can create a plot from start together!
  

Levi "Ghostrider" Remo

• Between you and I, I don't have any plot ideas. Maybe I'll edit this later.

Note: I am looking for a long-term relaxed and chill roleplay experience. I have immense ADHD and Autism and get burnt out very quickly and I'd rather take my time to create the best RP response I can muster up than be forced or egged on post after post with no energy. As long as you are okay with varying response window times and are okay with the quality in the end and also have time to chill and talk about OCs on the offtime or on the side then that is perfect.

I apologize for my lack of planning. Planning and gushing is honestly half the fun and I've been desperate. If you're down for any of this, give me a private message. I primarily use Discord. I hope I've peaked your interest!

My wife has Hashimoto's and has been struggling with her levels being up and down for over 7 years. Her PCP had told her that she didn't need an endocrinologist and that she could treat her solely with levothyroxine and weight loss medication. I had to convince her to get an endocrinologist after trying for 5 years to do so. The PCP refused for almost 2 years to recommend us and finally gave in. The endocrinologist is just as bad. She doesn't do all of the testing that should be done, she should have immediately switched her from levothyroxine but kept her on it and after the second appointment put her on another medicationin addition to levothyroxine. My wife went for her third appointment with her today and asked for thyroid armour and the endocrinologist said she wouldn't use it because it was a t3 and t4 medication (more than likely it's actually because it's not fda approved and she wouldn't get a kickback). This didn't make much since to us because the last medication she put her on was for t3 on top of the levothyroxine (t4). She is going to switch her to tirosint, but we are just tired of the doctors not testing for everything under the sun or prescribing the things we ask them to. It is ridiculous the hoops that a patient has to jump through to simply get the care they need and try the medications they want to try.
We are fed up enough now that we are actively looking for a good PCP and Endocrinologist outside of the Integris network. Once we exhaust all of our efforts to find a good endocrinologist we may be willing to try a functional or homeopathic doctor.

I have a few Wegovy shots left after not liking it (constipation and low reduction of food noise). Wondering if anyone has switched back and forth as needed until their dose was available. I'm considering doing this so I don't lose momentum with weight loss AND maybe it will make the break in time not be a problem.

Together for 3 years.
We seem too have by this recurring argument by about him being jealous of my oldest son’s father. Today, I received a call from my son’s school about some trouble he got in with his classmate. I called his dad to inform him, which is something we always do in situations concerning our child. I always communicate matters with my son to his father and vice versa. We strictly discuss our son and nothing else whatsoever. There’s never any inappropriate interaction between my son’s dad and I. EVER. When the phone call was over, we continued the conversation through text. This must’ve rubbed my boyfriend the wrong way because his body language appeared tense all of a sudden. I asked him what was wrong and he responded that he didn’t like the fact that some of my passwords are my son’s name because he has the same name as his dad. I told him my passwords are just that, my CHILD’s name, not his dad’s. He seemingly got over it and we moved on.
Fast forward an hour later, he comes in the room and tells me he will text me later while he’s at band practice and that he wants me to respond back as fast as I responded to my son’s father earlier today. (He never texts me while he’s at band practice, he always calls after or I’ll just see him when he gets home) so I told him I’m not responding at all since he’s comparing himself to my oldest son’s dad again and only texting me just to see if I’ll respond in a certain time. This gets him even more upset and he begins raising his voice. I go to try and leave the room to avoid arguing and he blocks me from leaving and telling me I’m not leaving so I start yelling for him to move out of my way. My boyfriend is a huge guy (6’1 260 lbs) compared to my petite self (5’0 164 lbs). By this point, my 1 year old is crying and I’m trying to get to him. My boyfriend keeps pushing my hand every time I grab the doorknob and using his weight to keep the door from opening so I hit him in his shoulder (not hard at all, he probably barely felt it) and he hit me back wayyy harder and in my stomach! I’m currently 6 months pregnant. So I turned the other way and start to cry. Instead of apologizing, he starts to blame me saying it was a reflex because I hit him first and he didn’t mean to hit my stomach. He also said that he didn’t even hit me that hard which was false. He tries to grab me and I lash out in anger, hitting, yelling and kicking. When he finally let me leave the room, he follows me to the other room demanding we talk RIGHT NOW. I told him no and he proceeds to pull and yank me off of the bed to get me to go with him until I yelled at him to leave me alone. Our 1 year old is next to me while he’s doing this so he screams and cries for me to pick him up. I told my boyfriend he’s scaring the baby and he just keeps trying to take him from me so he can put him down and pull me out of the room. He eventually gave up and said I’m using our son as an excuse to avoid talking.
I’m just at a loss of words right now.
just to clarify, we weren’t in front of my son when I hit and kicked him, I hit and kicked him to get into the room where my son was crying