I recently rediscovered Neopets after a 14 year hiatus. I was a frequent player in middle/high school (2004-2010) but stopped when I went to university. I decided to check on my account because Reddit kept suggesting Neopets to me, maybe because there was so much buzz around the UC stuff. Amazingly, I was able to access my 19.5 year old account! These are my reflections so far, after about 2-3 weeks back.
The Bad:
I had 4 accounts (this was back in the day when we could only have 4 pets per account) and 2 were hacked and emptied. All my NP was gone and anything valuable from my SDB (it's just full of items from the Advent Calendar in Y5-Y7 lol)
Three of my permie pets were dumped, which is a bummer. I had spent a lot of time making pet pages and art for them. They weren't even high status pets. One was a nicely named Brown Xweetok who has since been turned into a red acara. I remember working on her petpage for hours and I ever won her a trophy in the Beauty contest (which I went back to find the art in the archives of the Beauty contest in 2009).
Another (a Maraquan Lupe) is now on a frozen account. I put in a ticket to see if those pets can be returned to me but I doubt it.
The mobile website is weird, why is it so hard to get to the shops on it? Also it's hilarious how it switches between the mobile version and desktop version as you click around the site.
The Good:
3 of my permanent pets are still with me, including the very first pet I ever created in 2004, a Faerie Shoyru!! They've all got cute old pet trophies now.
These pets still have their pet pages and pet lookups, featuring some TRULY cringe writing from 17-year-old me. Somehow my photobucket pictures/art are all still on the internet (just now with a watermark) which is amazing!! (I've cleaned up the petpages to remove references to romances/relationships between my pets lol I seem to recall this was not allowed but I was a hormone-driven teen so I guess I didn't care. Anyways I don't want to get frozen now if anyone ever notices)
In 2.5 weeks I've made 800k np from dailies and won a Valentine's paint brush from the Neopies. Back in the day, I remember grinding to make 10k from games a day, and the only other time I won a paintbrush was from the Fruit Machine in c.2005 (it was gold and I immediately used it on my Shoyru). I'm also having fun voting randomly at the Neopies since I don't know what any of the things are.
I also got a Faerie Kadoatie as a prize for the weekly tasks which would look perfect for my Faerie Shoyru but right now she's got a Disco Angelpuss which does not match at all but she's been equipped since June 2005 (6800+ days ago) so I can't bring myself to replace the petpet. Also feel like I'm acquiring 1 new petpet a day on average from the daily tasks, what am I supposed to do with all these?
The new Neo economy seems truly wild - it's so easy to make money. I don't care about the inflation, I'm just psyched that I'm halfway to my dream of a royal girl katcheek in no time at all. Although my other dream of getting a shadow paint brush to cross-paint my Royal Shoyru is still very far away lol.
Also, Draiks are so affordable now! I remember when Draiks and Krawks were the status symbol pets and cost millions. I'm might morph one of my pets into a Draik next.
I have 2 accounts with lab ray access. I see the lab ray price has really shot up. I think it was maybe 800k when I got them? Anyways I'm back to zapping daily.
Other Observations:
The customization game is truly insane now. I feel like this was still a new thing when I left. People are so creative with it now.
I remember being very active on a guild called The Neopian Orphanage in the late aughts where people would zap pets and put them up for adoption. They had an off-Neo forum called Billopan with a faerie jubjub as a mascot. Does anyone know what happened to this guild?? It seemed so well established and it just disappeared off the internet. It was one of the major guilds from what I recall where people zapped pets and put them up for adoption, and people would apply by making elaborate applications with websites full of art, stories, etc. I found an application from 2009-2010 still up for a Royal girl Katcheek where I did art and made up a whole backstory. I guess these applications doesn't happen anymore which honestly seems for the best lol who has the time? I feel like trading is a much bigger thing now. I am a little bummed that one of my permie pets which hosted my "adoption website" page with the pets that I adopted out is gone.
Anyways it's been fun and wild nostalgia trip being back on Neopets after so many years!

warning, long rant ahead :/
for a bit of context, i have 2 main accounts. my original one which i made when i was a kid was silenced about 10 years ago (long story :p) and i made a new one, which has been my main ever since. my old one has no unconverted pets, it is a relatively useless account with only 3 cheaply painted pets i've had since i was a kid. frankly there's nothing in there a hacker could even want. i play daily on my current account, but i log into my old one probably once every few weeks, mostly just to keep my pets fed. however i never changed my email on the old account to one of my active ones, and i deleted that email years ago, so i guess let this be a warning to anyone who's squeaking by on deleted emails too.
anyway, i was logged into my old account for my monthly neolodge booking and scrolling someone's userlookup. nothing out of the ordinary, i just like to look at the pets of people on the neoboards. i clicked on one of their pets and was instead sent to a password reset page..? i was really confused because i didn't initiate a password reset. i backed out of the page to go back to the userlookup profile, and then attempted to navigate to the neopets news page, but i was then forcibly logged out and sent to the main homepage. i tried to log back in with my regular password - which is saved by my browser - but it then said it's incorrect, despite it working literally 10 minutes prior.
i have no idea if i got hacked or if i triggered something in the neo system, but i contacted TNT support and (luckily) got a fast reply asking me to provide account information. i gave everything i could, email, birthday, multiple old passwords, description of some very specific old support tickets i had sent on that account, and pets that used to be on it. i did some digging and someone on this subreddit once said they were allowed access into their locked account because they could prove their neo account was associated with their old photobucket account, which they had current access to. i have access to my TDN forums account that has 10 year old posts clearly stating my neo username, so i logged in and took screenshots as proof, and hoped beyond hope that TNT would believe me and just let me back in.
evidently, it wasn't enough. according to TNT, if you don't have physical copies of your 10 year old physical neocash cards you redeemed when you were a literal child, then you're out of luck. why on earth would i have access to the code on the back when i used those cards over a decade ago? i was also told the other way could be to send an email from the original email on the account.. like the email used when the account was created, and not the one it had been updated to. i don't even know what that original email address is. isn't the reason behind changing your email usually because the old one doesnt work anymore??
i am very happy for everyone who has had luck with TNT giving back years old accounts, but it does sting to not have that same energy extended to my own situation from them. i literally have a tattoo of one of the pets on the account (i've posted it here about a year ago), and ngl, i'm definitely going to view it a bit differently. i just don't understand how my information isn't good enough, especially when there is nothing valuable on the account.
thank god my current account is fine because if i lost it too i'd never return to the site. the one thing i find bearable is that since my old account is silenced, it makes my old account un-editable. my userlookup, shop, gallery etc is completely un-editable. unless someone trades my pets (i hope not), my pet lookups and petpages will remain intact too.
i still have no idea if my old account is hacked or if it was just a system "glitch"... but regardless make sure y'alls emails are up to date. i wish i updated mine :/
​
edit to include tldr: i got locked out of my childhood neopets account due to a forced password reset that i didnt initiate and support won't help me because i dont have the specific information they want. i am very sad

Okay, so I'm diving into the wonderful world of RPG maker, and I need some advice.
I currently have VX Ace, and the last couple of weeks I've been slogging through tutorials and stuff.
I made a really shitty tutorial town to get an idea on how the program works, and now I'm trying to make a very short, complete game based on a DnD one shot session I ran. It has a nice completed story, and a few things to do. I figured this would be good practice to figure out how scripts work, and some fiddly stuff and basically getting nice and comfy with the program before I drive I to the ACTUAL game I want to make (a digimon game).
Now, one thing I'm struggling with is finding resources for VX Ace. There's a lot of it. But a lot of it is AWOL thanks to old websites that don't exist anymore or fucking photobucket. Also old scripts with no support and, well, most people moved on for rulesets and sprites.
My DnD game is being hacked together with stuff I've been able to find, shitty photoshops and sprite edits up the wazoo. I don't mind because the only people that are going to play it is my friends.
But I feel like for the future, once I've got a good handle on things, one of the newer versions might be better off. Is it easy to learn a new RPG maker after I've invested time into VXA? Which version is better? MV is on sale for $18 right now, and I feel like that's a great deal.
Anyways, just looking for some insight from y'all. I didn't realize how difficult it would be to find content for VXA when I started this, the internet is forever right? Right?
Cries in broken links

My retarded question: How does one Price an Unusual AK they Want to Sell?
I have a Saiga I converted back in the 2010 era.
After conversion, I shot it a bit and then converted it into an underfolder, using (from memory) an East German trunnion and stock.
I liked it as an underfolder enough that I stripped all the shitty commie paint and rust-blued it, because I'm good at rust-bluing (used to build flintlock longrifles for a living), and this is America, so why not?
It's a legit beautiful gun. Even the inside of the receiver is rust-blued and of medium-gloss. Pics cannot do it justice.
And the underfolder mechanism is tighter than any commie, vodka-swiller would ever bother to make it. It's honed in and smooth.
I have pix on Photobucket but don't know how to post them, here, so, for the purposes of this post, please assume I'm not just another hack, Tapco-fucking idiot in your estimates.
I have not fired it in almost a decade and just want to move it. I'm thinking by local consignment.
What sorta money should I be looking for?

REASON No 1: Their backstories are 100% incompatible with the SEGASonic universe! Some of their backstories rely on certain events from SuckAM/Archie to happen (ex: Robotnik taking over the world). As far as we all know, those events didn't happen. Their planet is already free! Also their cameo appearance in Sonic Spinball doesn't count, since that game is NOT canon to the mainstream games. You might be thinking "What if they change it?" Well obviously, those SonSatAM Whiners (as I like to call them) clearly don't like any changes given to their "precious" characters, especially Sally the Mary-Sue.
REASON No 2: Their roles have already been taken! Let's take a look see;
Sally Acorn - Sorry, but no! Amy is THE main action girl and quasi-romantic interest. Whether you haters like it or not! Rouge and Blaze also fall into the action girl trope as well. Tails is also Sonic's well established BFF and right hand man as well as the analytist and brains of the group. Plus, she IS a Mary-Sue! (Stop denying it fanbrats, you know it's TRUE!) Even Archie recently admitted it. Don't believe me? See for yourself! i448.photobucket.com/albums/qq… After 3 kill off attempts, I have one simple question to ask. Why can't this thing (I refuse to call it a character) just STAY DEAD!?
Bunnie Rabbot - While it would be nice to have an all Power-type female character (and I'm sure SEGA/Sonic Team will make one someday) and she is one of the very few characters from SuckAM that I do give a shit about, we've got enough muscle characters already. I'm NOT trying to be disrespectful or anything. I'm just telling you the truth.
Rotor Walrus - This guy is nothing but a cheap & REALLY BORING replacement for Tails in that show! Tails already has the role of mechanic and tinkerer and is good enough at what he does. I didn't gave a single shit about him when his back was crippled! Even with his new redesign in the upcoming storyline, I still don't care about Rotor… Like, AT ALL!!
Antoine D'Coolette - Oh God, seriously? There is no reason what-so-ever as to why this character should even exist in the games! No reason at all! Especially considering most fans disliked Sonic & the Black Knight's (even though, I personally enjoyed that game) sword gameplay gimmick!
NICOLE - As of Sonic Unleashed, Tails has a multifunctional electronic handheld device called the Miles Electric. If Tails' electronic handheld can display video recordings from satellites, be a control interface for the Tornado-1 & translate the Wisps language, then I'm sure it's also just as capable of doing what NICOLE can do. (ex: open/close doors, hack access codes) Also you need to remember, that most of the cast travel a lot! Holograms have very limited distances, and they often stay in one location. Lastly, she has 2 horrible backstories! One that's flat-out disturbing (scrapped SuckAM season 3) and one that's just convoluted as hell!! (Archie)
Dulcy - Oh God! Here's another horrible "comic relief" character that the SEGASonic universe can defiantly do without!! Even some fans of the show think she's a really bad character! She is annoying, unfunny & a disgrace to all dragons in fictional media!! She just appeared in the show from out of the blue, with no explanation!! There is NOTHING redeemable about her!!
Charles "Chuck" Hedgehog - Another one of the few I like. But whether you want to admit it or not, Uncle Chuck is UNORIGINAL. He is basically Sonic if he was 50 years old, wears red & yellow maroon shoes, lacks the gift of super speed and has the face of the Monopoly mascot. Does anyone remember Professor Pickle? I'm sure he'll fill in the wise old man type quite nicely.
Scourge the Hedgehog - I know he's a villain and has never appeared in the show. But come on, do we really need another hedgehog who's name also begins with the letter S? I can't believe I'm saying this but, I would rather put up with Jet the hawk then see this terrible "parody" of a recolour! If Sally is a prime example of a Mary-Sue, then this guy is a prime example of a Gary-Stu!!
Any characters created by Ken Penders - After the whole copyright fiasco, I highly doubt SEGA/Sonic Team would ever want to touch his work with a 20 foot bargepole ever again. I would rather like to see Shade return then see any of his characters rear their ugly heads! All of his creations are unoriginal, (especially his echidnas) forgettable & bland as hell! I'll go into more further details about them in my series of rants on this bastard & his upcoming train wreak of a project! I don't care if Archie sued him first! The fact of the matter is, Ken STARTED IT FIRST! End of story.
REASON No 3: Nobody watches SatAM anymore! Who still watches that overrated piece of shit? Seriously people. Do you really think today's modern fans who;
-are born in the late 90s/early 2000s -got into the franchise between 10-5 years ago to last year -are more familiar about the games -have never watched the show (let alone the other 2 DiC cartoon adaptations) in their entire lives -7 times out of 10 MIGHT have watched Sonic X (regardless if subbed or dubbed) -might've read those shitty Archie comics at one point in their lives
Are going to give a shit about a cartoon that has NOTHING to do with the franchise at all? A cartoon that hasn't aired on a TV channel (Netflix doesn't count) in years! Even if modern Sonic fans decide to watch this cartoon, just out of pure curiosity, they are NOT going to say…
FAN 1: I luv th3se charACTers FAN 2: Sally !$ SUPER, DUPER, DUPER, AWESOME!!1! We nE£d h3r iN dA gAIMs! FAN 3: Robotnik is SUPER, DUPER, DUPER, AWESOME!!1! F00k £gGmaN! FAN 4: B£$T SH0W £VER!!1!
They will most likely say…
FAN 1: Hey! Where's insert character that appeared after Sonic 2 here FAN 2: Man that Sally is such a spotlight hogging whore! Who does she think she is!? FAN 3: Get off your arse & invent something!! Best incarnation of Eggman, MY ASS!! FAN 4: People actually like this trash!?
And before anyone gets the wrong idea, no I'm not some fan who recently got into the franchise. I'm a fan who has been in the franchise since it's humble beginnings, who also believes that this cartoon hasn't aged well. The only fans who still watch this show are those nostalgically blind SonSatAM Whiners, who are wearing the nostalgia goggles too tight & wish that it's 1993 every year in their pathetic little minds!!
One last thing before we move on. If the rumoured new Sonic cartoon is true, I guarantee you 9 times out of 10, they will most likely watch that cartoon. I could write an entire journal explaining why I think SuckAM sucks so much balls! But I'm saving that for September.
REASON No 4: Shipping sighs deeply I have a feeling that as soon as Sally is put in the games, those Sonally fanbrats are going to want her to hook up with Sonic or claim that she and Sonic are already dating. Unlike DiC or Archie, SEGA wants to keep Sonic single. While I am an open-minded Sonamy (who also supports Sonmina and Sonblaze) fan, I do respect SEGA/Sonic Team's decision. Unlike some people I could care to mention. I could rant on and on why Sonally can NEVER, ever work. PERIOD! But just to save myself some time, I'll let KrissyBKillin explain it. She sums up why this couple can't work better than I could! krissybkillin.deviantart.com/a…
REASON No 5: SEGA can't afford them! In April last year, SEGA suffered a big financial money loss. They are in so much debt, that they needed Nintendo's help to publish some of their next games.
REASON No 6: They will become the Wisps bitches! For those who don't know, Takashi Iizuka has announced that he plans on using the Wisps from Sonic Colours as a new standard gameplay style for future games. While I enjoyed Colours & I do plan on getting Lost World, I'm not sure if that's a good idea to have the Wisps appear in every game. Not only it will eventually lose it's charm, it will get stale very quickly. The only time I'll probably accept their future appearances is if SEGA/Sonic Team ever make a PROPER Sonic Colours 2.
Anyway back on topic. If the Wisps are going to appear more often, we will most likely going to see Sonic become the only playable character more-so then ever. So unless SEGA/Sonic Team decide otherwise, your chances of seeing the Freedom Fighters as being playable are now extremely slim!
REASON No 7: They have served their purpose! This is something that those SonSatAM Whiners don't want to admit! Face it, people! The Freedom Fighters are done, through, finished, ancient history, obsolete, pasted their sell-by date, no longer needed!! Do you want to know why they were created in the first place? Because Sonic, Tails & Eggman we're the only characters around at the time. But nowadays, we have plenty of characters by SEGA/Sonic Team that we don't need them anymore!!
Do you want to know why StC decided to let Shortfuse the Cybernik be an ordinary squirrel again (before StC-O turned him into a furry version of Iron Man (minus heart problems)) & killed off Johnny Lightfoot in the SA1 adaptation? Because they have served their purpose. Do you want to know why we never see villains like Erazor Djinn, Black D oom, most of the StC one-shots etc… ever again after their first & only appearances? Because they all served as villain-of-the-week.
Now I know that the Freedom Fighters have developed past their SuckAM counterparts. Such as Uncle Chuck owning a café, Sally having a sisterly bond with Amy (even though, it's so artificial as hell) and Antoine married to Bunnie. (unless the Genesis Wave from that POINTLESS crossover has already changed that) But let me ask you this simple question. What else do they have to offer?
The answer… is NOTHING ELSE. They have nothing new to offer to the table. All the writers from those shitty comics have failed to realise that they have well served their purpose. Overstayed their welcome, if you will. If I was in charge of the comics, (which BTW is not a bad idea) I would've killed them off 75 issues ago. Just so I can let the game cast shine while letting in some new faces to take their place! And I will feel no form of regret about it. Bottomline, the Freedom Fighters are 13 years YESTERDAYS NEWS!!!
REASON No 8: Fans will bitch/demand more! If SEGA/Sonic Team ever decides to cave-in to those Archie/SuckAM worshipping cock suckers by giving them new backstories, new voices actors, (I highly doubt they'll rehire the old ones) use their upcoming redesigns, (which are not bad, but I think Antoine should've kept his uniform) and possibly new personalities, I guaran-damn-tee you one of 2 reactions WILL happen. The fans will either…
a) bitch and moan that they are in the games. Constantly demanding SEGA/Sonic Team to get rid of them (especially those Sonic & Eggman only purists) until we never see or hear from them ever again!
or
b) demand even more non-game characters from the other continuities, both well-known & obscure. Making the cast even more bloated then it already has.
As much as I would love to see the likes of Mina Mongoose, Shortfuse the Cybernik, Tekno the Canary, Grimer, Anton Brooke, the Parlouzer family, Princess Alucion, Sleet, Sam Speed & Cosmo in the games. I know for a fact it's not going to happen anytime soon.
So there you have it! Those are the main reasons why I don't ever want the Freedom Fighters to be in the games. Adding them in is not going to solve the problem. It's just going to divide the fanbase even more then it already has!! I don't care how popular they are! I never gave a shit about them in the fucking first place! I never read those shitty Archie comics in my entire life to get emotionally attached to them! (especially since I grew up reading a far better comic series (I'm a biased StC fan BTW)) And I'm not going to start giving a shit about them right now! Even if they are wearing a t-shirt that says "I'm important! Pay attention to me!" We didn't need them in the sixth generation console war!! (AKA the Dreamcast Era) We didn't need them in the then Modern Era!! And we sure as hell don't need them in the next Era!! SEGA/Sonic Team need to realise they have plenty of major characters that are in desperate need of development more so nowadays than ever before. Because at the end of the day, whether you want to deny it or not, the game cast will ALWAYS BE MORE IMPORTANT. Not as much as gameplay, but you get my drift.
And that concludes my rant. I hope you enjoyed reading it. I like to thank Vertekins & Cartoonguy133 for inspiring me to make this rant. To anyone who plans on making a dramatic reading/commentary on Youtube, go right ahead. I want the worldwide web to know there are fans like me who despise SuckAM with a passion. And lastly, to anyone who disagree with this rant, I dare you to make a rebuttal on why the Freedom Fighters should be in the games… And no! I will NOT accept "because the game characters suck" as a valid excuse!

Hey. So. Long time since I posted here, about my coffee shop stalker I had a couple years ago. But now, reading back, I think it’s time I talk about something very personal that effected me around a year ago, and is still on going. I need some advice, or maybe some clues. This is going to be long, and disturbing.
I’m going to start this off by saying, I am very young. I have a much older sister, who we will call Jackie, for privacy reasons. She is a big part of this entire thing, and it’s been ongoing with her since before I was involved. Sorry if this gets super super complicated by the way.
Some important info before we begin: My sister got into a relationship with someone we’ll call Shane. Shane was much younger than her, and had a reputation of being very unstable. Drug use, emotional abuse, and a very very weird family. My sister lived with her roommates, who we will call Rodger and Cindy. The two couples lived together. I was in a relationship with a boy who we will call Michael. Prior to him, I dated a guy we’ll call Chris. I am still good friends with Chris.
So, while my sister was dating this guy Shane, some very very strange thing ensued after his alcoholism became evident. At some point He lost his phone and car after getting drunk, and it was apparent that they were stole. Long story short, this somehow ended up being his parents. They told him it was all stolen, but in truth had actually towed the car and taken his phone out of it. They had done things like this before; and for a weird couple of Jehovahs Witness, they were very tech savvy and had access to all of his social media. During this time, my sister received very strange encryptions on her phone. Emails sharing and posting her provocative and even nude photobucket folders to her personal socials, locking her out of her phone and attempts at getting into socials yet to be violated with this content. Even Shane’s own personal sexual content was being sent to people, including myself. I received a dm on Instagram with a video of him masturbating, that read, “For you.” I was not aware of my sister’s torment when this happened, and asked her about it in a panic. As it turns out, it was a very old video made for her. To this day, her theory stands that his mother was the one behind it, and that she was proven to be active on his accounts. But this has a lot of dead ends.
Moving on, it had been a year since that had happened when it all started for me. It was April of 2019. I had gained a good sized following on Instagram, when the e-girl trend had erupted and I had fallen into popularity. I had a couple spam accounts for my followers to access, with various emails. It really began on my way to a concert. I noticed I was logged out of my Snapchat, and that I had screenshotted multiple things from a conversation with my boyfriend. I believed it to just be old records or perhaps even me screen shorting something earlier that day. Once we arrived, my boyfriend noticed he received an email. It read, “Tell your Keane to check her email.” Michael was totally confused, and when I checked my email, I almost threw up in my mouth. Multiple photos I had taken when I was underage, that I had sent to my boyfriend, were in front of my face and I was shocked. The email before these attachments read,
“Not cool. You’re a goddess and I don’t think I can handle the sudden withdrawal. But the cats out of the bag and if I can’t look at you naked I’m not sure what I’ll do with myself.
i think of you could donate just a little bit of yo time to me, just maybe a few photos? I have three specific requests. If I got those requests I would be able to slink away forever and leave you in peace
if I didn’t get those photos I might go crazy. I might even share my collection of (name) photos far and wide. With everyone we know!
can you help me out? Will you at least hear my requests? I bet you’ll get a lot of followers if I post these.”
Nothing got better. And it began. My spam Instagram was completely taken over, and I had been locked out of multiple emails. More emails were being sent to me, sent to my boyfriend, and posted onto my tumblr and Instagram. My reputation as an influencer was the first thing on my mind besides the fact that this person was controlling suddenly everything. Every time they emailed me, they would use a past username I had used. Even ones from my old Facebook, which terrified me. How did they know these? The email program they used was called TUTANOTA. I’ll make this quick; they mentioned my ex boyfriend Chris, and made the comment that they had photos and stuff from when we were together. Which is strange considering we never exchanged things like that. Obvious bluff, but how does he know about Chris? Second, this person has obviously known me and seen me vulnerable before. They asked for more photos of me, MANY Photos, within time limits in exchange for my freedom. They claimed that they were not worried since they lived in a foreign (made up) country. I gave into these endless demands, as they went on for hours. I called the police. However, absolutely nothing could be done. The way they spoke was insanely vulgar, and very disturbing. Talking about my “stubble” and how it grows. One important thing: they used the phrase “Pepperoni nipples.” Offensive, and embarrassing btw. But I had seen this before. I had once received an anonymous note on Instagram, from one of those “anon ask me” websites. It read, “Wow. I can’t believe you lost your virginity to Chris. He used you like the cum dumpster you are. He talks about your pepperoni nipples all the time.” (Chris would never, and has never, btw, and I didn’t lose my virginity to him. This was just something I had told my sister to get her off my back about having an older boyfriend.)
They switched between very good English and poor wording, and often explained that they loved and worshiped me. They kept giving me “chances” and telling me they would leave. They also had a very strong emotion expressed with, “I can’t stop. I am lost. Do this for yourself. I can’t help it. Please don’t make me do it.” They even threatened to post the photos I sent them for their blackmail on reddit if I didn’t send more. “I can tell you kind of like making these for me.” They swapped between telling me that I was an angel, and that I deserved a good rest after what had done, to telling me I was a liar an that I had “cast them out”? Which adds to the disturbing persona. However, even after our first interaction... it didn’t stop.
I had changed all of my passwords, emails, and deleting the accounts they stole from me. I was very very ready to be done. He had gotten his blackmail, and I was over it. I blocked all of the emails and tried to carry on. I received an email again the next month. And the next. Begging me, pushing me. I got alerts of attempted hacking- sometimes successful, but quickly stopped. I kept up on it regularly enough to react fast. At one point however, I received an email saying, “Maybe I should ask Shane if we can trade pics?” I called my sister in an absolute panic, crying and asking a flurry of questions. Where was Shane, what was he doing. At this point, it was much too clear that this person knew me. I mean really knew me. Shane let my sister go through all of his phone in that instant with no hesitation, and she found absolutely nothing. He was asleep during this email. This stalker knew my sister’s boyfriend, my current boyfriend, and my ex boyfriend; information about him only told in relativity to my sister.
I’m sorry for all of that random and jumbled information. I still get attempted hacks on my social media, and recently on my Spotify and PayPal. Shortly after my PayPal was hacked, my apartment had an weakly-attempted break in via my sliding glass door. I have moved to a new apartment since then, but it terrifies me. I am scared. If anyone wants to maybe personally help me with the investigation, I am desperate.
So... psychotic stalker? Let’s not meet. (again.)
(edit: one of the accounts he stole from me watches my older sibling’s stories on instagram. they do not know of my new private account, but i have theirs blocked already anyways.)

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meme fuchsia system program system East Kris Unbranded Concrete Cheese Handcrafted Table Automated disintermediate Meme Gear pokemon pikachu ash pokmon transformation fanfiction Kenny Schumm meme black protocol navigate protocol North Petratown Awesome Plastic Keyboard Incredible Soap Switchable hybrid Meme Gear none Myrl Kassulke Sr meme orange sensor generate sensor New Kieran Licensed Concrete Shoes Generic Pants Robust highlevel Meme Gear princess leia character carrie fisher aidan barton ingv deila Berenice Thiel meme plum microchip override microchip Port Suzannestad Generic Concrete Shoes Rustic Bike Compatible scalable Meme Gear counterstrike youtube twitch valve steam unboxing Teagan Johnston meme teal bus copy bus Reynoldsland Intelligent Steel Car Handcrafted Bike Assimilated zero administration Meme Gear jen kirkman bernie sanders russia parody twitter Izabella Cremin meme grey port index port West Maritza Generic Rubber Pants Tasty Shirt Inverse demanddriven Meme Gear photos privacy photobucket fusker Evan Kautzer meme grey program reboot program Jenastad Intelligent Wooden Shirt Intelligent Chips Advanced 4th generation Meme Gear box orange metal snake gear solid Janet Effertz meme plum feed calculate feed OReillyhaven Handcrafted Frozen Chicken Generic Car Progressive incremental Meme Gear raid 4chan pol Tamia Hammes meme mint green protocol reboot protocol Lavernashire Intelligent Frozen Salad Unbranded Chips Openarchitected contextuallybased Meme Gear Whenever someone gives me advice Agnes Abernathy meme plum transmitter input transmitter South Adanville Rustic Granite Towels Tasty Tuna Virtual next generation Meme Gear usa today assault rifle chainsaw bayonet attachments ar 15 guns Ms Garfield Herzog meme white transmitter connect transmitter Marisaport Awesome Soft Table Handmade Towels Networked encompassing Meme Gear dr phil tv television instagram how bow dah cash me outside cash how bah dah catch me outside how about that howbowdah how bout dah how bout dat im about to start swinging im about to start swinging danielle bregoli dr phil viral marketing mandela effect Miss Delfina Langosh meme grey system back up system New Gordonborough Awesome Plastic Chair Intelligent Table Reactive logistical Meme Gear 4chan dd dungeons and dragons rpg role playing game alignment lawful good true neutral chaotic evil neutral evil neutral good lawful evil lawful neutral chaotic neutral chaotic good Ola Anderson meme silver protocol compress protocol Friedashire Unbranded Fresh Ball Incredible Hat Monitored bandwidthmonitored Meme Gear Stop wasting my time and let me take a piss Sunny Funk V meme blue panel quantify panel Skileschester Rustic Cotton Computer Awesome Chips Networked 247 Meme Gear reaction face bueno Luigi McLaughlin meme orange alarm override alarm Port Westley Tasty Rubber Cheese Gorgeous Pizza Crossplatform encompassing Meme Gear man dead house can michigan corpse creepypasta Lamont Flatley meme turquoise program transmit program Jaquelinside Practical Granite Sausages Awesome Table Realigned empowering Meme Gear pronunciation mispelling phonetic ironic meme circlejerk circle jerk may may Merlin Senger meme orange microchip program microchip North Mattieville Incredible Steel Car Ergonomic Car Expanded motivating Meme Gear meme machine deer time time machine 420 er memes dong deerer420 Aisha Glover meme lavender pixel program pixel North Shemarfurt Awesome Plastic Bike Practical Fish Organic systematic Meme Gear confederacy damn yankees lol civil war Earnestine Sanford meme gold microchip hack microchip Feeneyfurt Awesome Cotton Chicken Generic Pants Secured coherent Meme Gear magic waxonator mr bean the answer to every question in the universe Hudson Olson meme blue firewall synthesize firewall North Etha Awesome Cotton Shirt Fantastic Towels Seamless contextuallybased Meme Gear character mlp my little pony friendship is magic celestia princess molestia swanlestia Mr Benton Shanahan meme magenta circuit copy circuit Lake Jessie Licensed Concrete Keyboard Gorgeous Cheese Opensource encompassing Meme Gear smash bros little mac leak photoshop Jess King meme olive bandwidth reboot bandwidth Lake Camrynfort Intelligent Metal Car Generic Bike Openarchitected wellmodulated Meme Gear ronnie one shot kid jersey shore star wars Frieda Parker meme silver application quantify application West Cristal Handcrafted Wooden Hat Ergonomic Pants Diverse fullrange Meme Gear lady caracas ladycaracas Rodrigo Willms meme gold transmitter synthesize transmitter Port Lewisbury Intelligent Wooden Car Unbranded Ball Ergonomic secondary Meme Gear spiderman 2 copypasta spiderman peter parker mr aziz -

Welcome back to another chapter... this one won't be quite as long, this session only went on for 7 hours. :D
Previous Chapter

be me
James Smith, Smart Hero hacker
playing a Halo-themed d20 Modern game on TTS
be not me
Gunnery Sgt. "Gunny" Ghastman (medic), Lance Cpl. Keita (soldier), Private Grigory (soldier), Kestral (scientist), and Captain Brawner (soldier NPC), and new additions Stu (civilian gunslinger) and Bijou Johnson (redneck hillbilly who has made some rather strange life decisions...)
still in the insurgent HQ, looking for this artifact Kestral was supposed to research
get a message from our incoming evac, we have 15 minutes before evac
search the place quickly
not finding shit but food and a weapons cache
finally discover a trapdoor under a locker in the corner of the room
get it open, head into the basement
all we find is a safe and a wooden box
obviously the artifact must be in the safe right?
James tries to hack the lock... pops it open to jack in
mfw this thing looks like a bowl of spaghetti inside
"Uhh… shit, I dunno what to do here. This shit's old school, I haven't seen a lock like this in... ever, to be honest."
<we_may_have_to_blast.boom>
call up to the military types upstairs for some boom-boom for the safe
meanwhile Kestral searches through the box
finds some clothes and stuff
suddenly a tendril jumps up from the box and attaches itself to her wrist
it looks like a watchband or a bracelet, but gives off an orange light between the joints
Ghastman tosses down a brick of C12 (apparently C4 in the Halo universe is three times more powerful... j/k)
DM: "Roll to see if Kestral knows how much to use"
is 2
"You figure the whole block oughta work just fine!"
meanwhile the military guys heard the commotion going on with Kestral when this thing attached itself to her wrist and start making their way down
as the military guys come down, Ghastman sees this... thing on her wrist and tries to help her get it off
Kestral pulls away from him
"It's not hurting me or anything, let's blow the safe and go, we'll deal with this later"
Ghastman ignores her and continues to try to pry it off, using a knife to wedge between the joints
the thing just tightens its grip on Kestral's wrist
"I said we'll deal with it later, you're just making it worse right now!"
Ghastman doesn't realize this thing is just attached to her wrist, he thought it was attached to the safe, so he keeps trying to pull it off
Kestral loses her patience, plus all the effort of trying to pull this thing off her wrist is making it dig in tighter and cutting off the circulation to her hand, so she pulls her gun on Ghastman
DM says "Ghastman, roll a Spot check to see if you see this"
is 19
"You see her reach down for her pistol, what are you going to do in response?"
Ghastman's player says "I'm gonna deck Kestral"
rolls for hit
is nat 20
knocks Kestral unconscious
James catches the tail end of this and rushes over
J: "What the actual hell Ghastman??? She said she was fine!"
G: "I was tryin' to get the thing off her hand so we could get her outta here!"
J: "Look at it Ghastman… It's not attached to anything but her!"
G: "Oh... umm... shit, my bad."
IRL the guy playing Ghastman never heard that this thing was attached to just Kestral… oops
as this is occurring, the evac arrives
lots of ODSTs roll out of the three Pelicans that just landed... this is way more than just a standard evac...
James scoops up Kestral and brings her back upstairs just as a group of ODSTs enters the building and hands her off to one of them
as he's doing this, the military types realize she rigged this thing with all the C12 and decide to never let Kestral play with explosives again
cut off a sixteenth of the block and prep the charge
all of them clear out of the room and pop the explosives
send James down to check the safe since it was hard enough for all the wounded military guys to get down there the first time
safe has three gold bars and a weird-looking chip in it
takes all, heads back out
ODSTs rush them away
a few minutes after they get clear of the area, a freaking nuke goes off where they had just been
Ghastman jumps on comms
"Would someone please explain to me why the hell we were sent in there if you were just going to nuke the place???"
one of the senior ODSTs replies "Things have changed while you've been gone, sir."

group gets back to base, get rushed back to the medical ward
all our equipment is taken and we're put in quarantine with two guards guarding the entrance
Kestral tries to get one of the guards to let her go to the x-ray room to scan this bracelet thing on her arm
DM: "Roll for persuasion"
is 1
"You're just lucky the guard doesn't shoot you instead at this point."
meanwhile Captain Brawner and Ghastman are talking about the situation with James
B: "I thought there was supposed to be like, 12 constables here when we got back?"
G: "Well, I did too but apparently with that nuke goin' off and everything, the situation has changed."
Brawner calls James over
B: "You aware that there's a 60K credit bounty on you, and you're wanted on Reach for the murder of four police officers?"
J: "Well, uhh… I wasn't aware of the bounty, but I knew about the rest..."
K: "Damn James, where was I when you were havin' all this fun?"
Ghastman looks at Brawner, glances back at both James and Kestral
"Where the fuck did we find these people..."
Brawner just shrugs
B: "James, how did you get on my mission?"
J: "Well..."
taps the back of his head
J: "I've got... company... in my head."
K: "Dammit James, I knew there was something strange about ya, but you can't just listen to the voices in your head."
J: "Well, it's not voices… it's just one voice. The voice of the AI in my neural implant. And as dumb as it sounds, that was not me who killed those people. Somehow the AI in my head took control. Ghastman can confirm this from the video feed. I remember none of what happened, the only way I know any of it is from the video Ghastman showed me. I remember being put under prior to the surgery, and then waking up in my house just before an officer showed up to interview me. While I was being interviewed, three men broke into my house, killed the officer, and would have killed me if I hadn't escaped with this AI's help. We made it into a UNSC base, inserted ourselves into this mission, and flew out on the next ship off Reach."
James pauses, and then continues with one last statement
J: "Also, by the way, the tech who was supposed to be on this mission most definitely does not have cancer."
Brawner's expression doesn't change throughout all of this
B: "So what you're saying is you inserted yourself onto this mission to get away from your problems?"
J: "Essentially... yeah. And if I have to face the consequences for that, I'm ready. I'm just as disgusted about what I've/we've done as anyone else."
at this point just about everyone in the group starts responding
Kestral: "Nah mate, don't worry about that, shit happens."
Keita says "I've killed way more people than you have."
Kestral nods over towards the military peoples
"Yeah, you're in a room full of killers, what's a few more extra bodies to the pile?"
James, still looking sullen, says "Yeah, that's fine if they're just scum and criminals, but not police..."
at this point the DM asks everyone to roll a Listen check
Ghastman is the only one to hear the gunfire coming from outside
G: "Do any of you have comms?"
one of the guards says "Gunnery Sgt., all we were told is to report here and guard this room."
G: "Umm... do you guys hear that?"
the guards just look at him
"We're not to move from our post."
Ghastman gets up, with some difficulty as he's been pretty much shot to shit
tries to make his way over to the door
it's locked
G: "...what the fuck is this?"
the guard again response "We're not to let you leave this room."
James perks up at this and says "Why not? If it's because of me, just deal with me now and let them go."
G: "James... you don't hear that gunfire, do you."
J: "Wait, gunfire...? No, I don't hear anything..."
Ghastman turns to the guards, "You need to open that window so we can hear what's going on!"
the guard just orders him back to his bed
at this point Ghastman has had enough

he tries to grab the guard but is easily pushed away
he uses this momentum to attempt to pull the guard's sidearm as he's moving back
can't get his grip on it
the other two soldiers spring into action and attempt to tackle the other guard
well, sorta
Grigory, for some reason, decides to strip completely naked first
I mean, in all fairness, who wants to wrestle a naked guy
James sees this kick off and charges the guard being attacked by Ghastman
however, at this particular moment in our D&D lives, the dice were entirely not in our favor

for the next 45 minutes, nobody rolled higher than a 6, except for James who managed to shoot one of the guards in his knee with the other guard's gun after he dropped it when the naked Grigory tried to mount him
not like that you pervs... geez
during all this Kestral and Brawner are just sitting there watching
Kestral leans over at one point and says "You got any more of those cigars? We may be here a while."
Brawner just smiles and preps one for her, lights it, and hands it to her
eventually one of the guards' sidearms gets kicked away and Kestral grabs it and shoots out the window
now the sound of gunfire is like, right outside the building
Ghastman stops and points to the window
G: "Do you hear that now???"
Guard: "Yes, but we're still supposed to keep you here."
J: "Well which is it, are we being kept here because we're in trouble or kept here for our protection?"
Guard: "We're supposed to protect you."
J: "Well if that commotion is headed this way, isn't it safer to move us to another location rather than stay here?"
Guard: "We have our orders."
J: "Well at least give us your sidearms or let us get our weapons so that we can help!"
Guard: "Can't do that."
J: "Those people fighting out there, those are your friends, your comrades in arms... Are you really going to just stand there and guard a door while they're getting killed???"
Guard: "...That's what our orders are."
suddenly the gunfire outside stops
James notices it first... a massive ship unlike anything he's ever seen flying by without conventional engines
he looks straight at Ghastman, pointing to the window
J: "That... looks an awful lot like what we heard on that audio log."
G: "...That's... not good."
soon afterwards a couple of smaller vehicles whizz past
people in the building are screaming now, some sounds that don't sound like gunfire resonate through the halls
as the guards open the doors to investigate, one of the medical personnel runs past
a green ball of energy follows after her and we hear a scream as she splatters against the wall at the end of the hall
the guards ready their weapons, but too late
one of them takes a plasma shot dead center of his chest
the other guard takes aim, but a second Grunt enters before he can fire and blasts him halfway across the room
none of us have weapons, Keita makes a break for the downed guard's rifle
everyone else ducks behind their beds for makeshift cover or attempts to move to a better position to get the other guard's weapon
the Grunts move into the room and survey the situation
out of nowhere a shot rings out
a teenage boy runs around the corner from the hallway and pelts one of the Grunts in the back with a pistol shot
following this boy is a massive hillbilly man with a shotgun
shotgun dude fires one round and decapitates the first Grunt, fires a second round and the second guy is looking pretty bad
James is last in the initiative order
with no weapon and no reasonable chance of getting to the guns before the others do, he decides to attempt to knock the remaining Grunt down
goes full-on Jackie Chan mode and full-force rolls his bed across the room
rolls a 6 for the strength check
unfortunately full-force for James isn't enough to overcome shit rolls
DM says "You attempt to roll the bed at this Grunt, but the wheels don't work so well so it doesn't quite make it there."
OOC I say "Fuck it then, he's gonna run and dive onto the bed and use his momentum to carry it into the Grunt."
I get the audible eye roll over Discord from the DM again
meanwhile Kestral yells out sarcastically "Great fucking idea James..."
DM says "Ok, fine, pick odds or evens."
I always pick evens when the DM asks this, I don't even know why he bothers
hfw he rolls a nat 20
DM says "Alright, I'm gonna make him roll a Reflex save"
the DM pauses for a minute, contemplating the ridiculousness of what is about to take place
then he says "So as you push the bed towards this Grunt, it doesn't quite make it the full distance, but you run and dive onto it and your added weight and momentum carries it directly into this Grunt... who is still reeling from the shotgun blast he just took from this random dude who just ran in, so he's bent down a little and you manage to slam the bed into his head... which finishes him off."
the whole party is in hysterics
someone says "How the hell did that even work..."
apparently James is going to be that dude in the party who kills people by doing random shit
everyone meet James Smith the Master of Improvised Weapons
James looks over at Kestral upon realizing he just killed the other Grunt
J: "What was that you said about this being a bad idea...?"
K: "I didn't say you weren't lucky, I said it was a dumb idea"
J: "Hey, I do my best work in a bed"
the rest of the group joins in a chorus of audible eye rolls at me
at this point we finally get properly introduced to Stu (the teenage kid) and Bijou Johnson (the massive muscular redneck hillbilly)
Stu is basically a street ruffian, but he's fast and hides well and he brought a... "friend" he rescued
said "friend" is Bijou Johnson, who is... not any of those things
to be honest, nobody's really sure exactly what this genetic reject with eyes that go in different directions is... only that he's big and loud and very happily married to his beautiful wife Bessie
Bessie
BESSIE
this fucker is married to a literal cow
what's worse is he keeps saying how much Kestral reminds him of his wife...
"Who's that redhead girl? She's hawt… Them udders are just about as purty as Bessie's!"
side note here... the player playing Bijou is the DM's girlfriend... the player playing Kestral is one of the DM's long-time friends from an old Arma III milsim group... these two constantly poke fun at eachother out of game, so watching their antics in-game is both cringeworthy and annoying, but still hilarious
the conversation with Bijou only gets worse from there
Ghastman, who grew up on Harvest, actually knows Bijou but it's been a long time since they've seen eachother so they don't recognize one another right off
G: "Bijou, where are you from?"
B: "The bijou!"
everyone sighs in unison
apparently Harvest has its own version of Louisiana... ugh
after introductions and such we make our way to the room where our gear is being kept and get re-upped on armor and ammo
during this time James finally gets that cool minty feeling at the back of his head
S.W.A.R.M. is back online
'bout time, damn slacker
James goes off into another room for a moment
J: "What's the situation like out there?"
S: "Of the 126 colonial marines stationed on this planet, all but 59 are dead. However, the two guards in the room you were in previously still show life signs, although they are most likely mortally wounded."
J: "Is there a ship available to get us off-world?"
S: "Yes, the UNSC Ladies With Guns is preparing for civilian evac at this time. Approximate time of departure is two hours."
for reference, the Ladies With Guns is the ship we arrived here on
James finds Brawner and Ghastman
"Ghastman, the guards in the other room are still showing signs of life."
Ghastman drops everything and immediately rushes over to try to assist them
unfortunately they're both too far gone, so he essentially ODs them on morphine to put an end to whatever pain they may be feeling
we're in the medical wing of a now-deserted military base, they can spare it
J: "Brawner... the Ladies With Guns is preparing for civilian evac right now. They're leaving in about 2 hours. How long would it take us to reach the elevators to the docks?"
B: "Hmm... by car, probably 3 hours, maybe more."
J: "Well... there goes that. What else can we do?"
B: "Well, there's the MAC defense cannon... if we can get that thing up and running, maybe we can give these fuckers some payback. But it'll be risky. We'll have to cut right through the center of town, and vehicular travel will be dangerous what with those flying things overhead. We'll likely have to go on foot."
J: "S.W.A.R.M., is there a way to make it to the MAC cannon through underground tunnels or something?"
S: "There are no underground passages that will take you to that location."
J: "Can you at least plot a path for us?"
S: "The unknown alien attackers have compromised the Tiara. I can provide no satellite imagery or GPS coordination."
the "Tiara" is the central mainframe where the two other AIs reside... if that's been compromised, those AIs are also compromised and/or disabled... and the planetary defenses as well
James reports all this to Brawner
B: "Well, it looks like we're gonna have to fight our way through to the cannon then."
Stu volunteers to scout ahead for us since he's good at that sort of thing
kinda fun watching this kid essentially tell Captain Brawner he's a moron
S: "If you let me go on ahead, I can move faster and gather more information than the rest of you."
B: "Nah son, I can't let you do that. We need to stick together."
S: "I agree, the rest of you should stick together. You've got wounded people who are gonna move slower. If I scout ahead, you have a better chance of getting through undetected as I can tell you when it's safe to move."
B: "But what if you get killed?"
S: "Then the rest of you know not to go that way."
B: "...well, fine. Get geared up and let's move."
James finds some light armor, takes a 5-foot movement penalty to wear it, but now he has a respectable 15AC compared to the 11AC he had before this... worthwhile tradeoff all things considered
we head out
Stu reports to us about Grunts and another much larger enemy down one alleyway, but as he watches they appear to get into an argument and the large enemy slams his fist down through one of the Grunt's heads, killing him instantly and the other Grunt decides he wants no part of this and runs away
we move past that alley as the enemies clear, get to the next alley and see a large group of Grunts being commanded by another of the big guys but they don't see us
yet
as the group moves past, we all roll stealth
James rolls a 6... not good
Ghastman, however, rolls a 1

Ghastman trips over himself, as he's already having a hard time moving due to his battle wounds
James doesn't notice in time and trips over Ghastman
one of the Grunts notices this out of the corner of his eye and starts going apeshit
now five Grunts and one of the big enemies are fast approaching
<jeff_goldblum.sounds>
meanwhile Stu, up in the front, has reported that another one of the big enemies has apparently been contacted over comms and has turned around and is coming to box them in
the entire party is now trapped in an alleyway
Kestral, however, is unfazed
remembers she has Lotus mines
plants one behind us and drops smoke on it
James crosses through the smoke across to the alley on the other side, thinking that once the smoke clears he'll be behind the enemies, assuming they don't trigger the mine first
however, the smoke works perfectly as the brute steps directly on the mine and what's left of him ends up embedded in the wall to the side of him
somehow he's still alive but unconscious and bleeding profusely
the DM rolls for how many turns he'll be unconcious
4 turns
dude is taking 4 bleed damage every round, with 8 hp left

the other five Grunts are vaporized, nothing left of them but a few armor pieces

meanwhile back at the front of the group, things are going... decidedly not well for poor Stu
he hides behind a corner as the big boy comes down the alley
rolls for hide
is 2
comes face to face with the big dude
player knowledge, it's a Brute
somehow manages to dodge the attacks though
unfortunately, Stu's worst enemy is not the brute
and now we begin The Ballad of Bijou Johnson
Bijou, it seems, never misses
he said this as he ran into the room the first time they met him
true to his word, he did not miss then
unfortunately for Stu, he does not miss now either
Bijou, with a shotgun, decides to take a shot at the brute
while Stu is standing between them
but he's taller than Stu, and so is the brute, so maybe he can aim high and not hit Stu
Bijou, however, does not know the meaning of "aim"
fires off a blast
rolls to hit the brute
is 12
DM says "roll another d20 since Stu is in your line of fire"
is 23
Stu's AC is 17
"Bijou never misses!"
roll for damage, a d12 for the shotgun
is 10
Stu is now at half health due to friendly fire
OOC the player playing Stu says "Stu may be seriously questioning his life choices at this point after saving this moron..."
during all of this Keita somehow found himself in front of Bijou
makes an executive decision that after seeing what Bijou did to Stu, this is not where he wants to be
instead decides to climb on Bijou's back and take a shot at the Brute from the "high ground"
<Master_Blaster.png>
a few minutes later Grigory decides to climb on top of Keita
DM is like, wtf
"Grigory, roll a Climb check... Bijou, roll a Strength check."
hfw Grigory rolls a 19 and Bijou rolls a nat 20
<Master_Master_Blaster?.png>
however when Grigory shoots the recoil knocks everyone over and now they're all prone
the dice gods finally take karmic revenge on this nuttery
back to the other half of the group, Kestral watched James haul ass through the smoke down towards the other alleyway and, after the mine goes off, rushes back after him
James, after hearing the mine go off, decides hiding behind the enemies is no longer necessary and hauls ass back towards the group
remember back in high school when you learned that no two objects can occupy the same space at the same time...?

a very confused James ends up landing on top of a very confused Kestral
J: "What the heck are you doing here? I came back here to get clear of the blast!"
K: "Making sure you're alright, obviously!"
J: "I appreciate that, but let's get outta here!"
K: "Well I wasn't gonna stick around here waiting for you to buy me dinner, get off me!"
J: "I'll take you up on that later, for now let's go!"
as they get up James says "You know, I've kinda wanted to get you on your back, but I didn't think it'd happen this soon..."
Kestral just looks at him like she's gonna slug him, but then smirks as she turns away to start running
the two of them catch up to the tail end of the group, while those in front are witness to a sniper taking two shots at the brute and killing it
nobody gets to see who the sniper is though as they turn and head around a corner down the far end of the alley before anyone sees them
player knowledge, it's the sniper from the previous encounter
Kestral stops for a moment to pick up a brute shot which the brute the sniper killed dropped and then her and James and Ghastman group up together at the tail end of the group
at this point the group is in full-on run mode
however, they look into the windows of the building they're running past and see a large group of... what looks like really big bugs.
and the bugs are... attempting to break the windows to get out.

everybody is hauling ass, with Stu out in front and Ghastman holding up the rear
James is basically dragging Ghastman along since he's limited to half movement
Kestral pops another smoke to cover our escape away from the bugs as they start to fly towards us
most of the group makes it to the building where the MAC cannon is, the only ones out in the open are Grigory and the group of James/Kestral/Ghastman farther behind
the people in the building are sniping these bugs down as they see them, thankfully they're not super hardy or super difficult to hit
Ghastman sprays a couple down as they descend behind us
Kestral has been kinda playin' with the brute shot trying to figure out how to fire it and successfully does so
pops off a shot at the group behind us and obliterates them all
however ahead of us Grigory has been surrounded by nine of these things
James takes a shot at one and misses
looks at Kestral and shrugs
"I didn't have a bed!"
at this point Grigory realizes he is pretty well fucked
"I'm going to drop a grenade at my feet"
<excuse_me_what_the_fuck.vaultboy>
the entire party begins to talk him out of this
except for me
I do some #quickmaths
grenade does 3d8+5 damage
Grigory has 26hp
half-damage on a Reflex save and he has Lightning Reflexes to give him +2 on the throw
OOC I say "Guys... he might actually survive this so long as he makes the save"
he rolls damage... 22 total
he rolls the reflex save... 14
the entire party goes silent waiting for the DM to confirm whether or not he made the save
slowly the DM says "Grigory… you made the save and take half-damage."
our entire party is in complete and utter awe as this man takes 11 damage from a grenade thrown at his own feet which obliterates the entire group around him
the DM announces "When the smoke clears, you see Grigory standing there with a pile of mangled bodies strewn around him, shrapnel covering his entire body, but he's standing there tall and proud like nothing happened."
after the craziness settles down, everyone regroups in the building and starts heading upstairs to where the MAC cannon controls are located
James and Kestral head to the MAC cannon controls
K: "Let's get this bitch barkin'!"
J: "Sounds like a plan... it'll be nice to put some hurt on these bastards."
James sits down at the controls and starts typing away trying to bring the system online
easily does so
even while Kestral is leaning over him slightly as she leans in to say "If all else fails you could always use your little head-friend to get this up"
that's not the only thing getting up if you keep up with that shit...
as he does this the control screens fire up and a joystick pops up from under the desk for manual control
I say "James is gonna grab the joystick and move it around to see what happens with the cannon and whatnot"
this campaign got really juvenile really fast
the DM says "As you do this the entire building starts shaking from side to side"
J: "Umm... oops... let's not do that again..."
instead starts looking for a target
finds that big fuckoff ship they saw earlier and takes a shot at it
direct hit
or not
<dem_shields.pic>
Kestral says "Hit that mother fucker again!"
fires once again
this time the ship shoots the round with a plasma bolt
as the explosion clears, James sees the ship taking aim... at the MAC cannon
and that's where the session ended

Next chapter

Welcome to our Rom hack page for our Touhoumon game, Touhou Forgotten Puppet Fantasy! Here, we are combining two of our favorite things, Pokemon and Touhou, to create a fun and enjoyable game that combines the characters of the Touhou Project into the play style of Pokemon. This is a new endeavor for most of us, and will be a learning experience for all involved as most of us have not made a ROM hack before, and none of us have made one to this scale. If you want to join our discord server and see how we are coming along, then feel free to use this link https://discord.gg/uXKeVF4 to join and have a look around.(put link here) If you would like to join us as we make this dream into a reality, then ask one of the admins and tell us what part of the project you would like to help with. Currently, we are specifically looking for people who are able to help with Scripting, music editing, and sprite editing.
About Touhoumon in general:
Q. What is touhoumon? A. Pokémon but with Touhou characters instead of Pokémon, often the Pokémon replacements themselves will be dolls, thus being the reason that there are so many of each character.
Q. What is “Touhou"? A. Touhou is a bullet hell(Danmaku) game created by ZUN where most of the characters are female and have a basis in Japanese mythology.
Q. So... Pokémon as cute little girls?
A. Mostly, yeah. Exceptions are made for male characters
About the IPS patch:
Q. How do I install the patch? A. Download the latest version of the IPS file and use Lunar IPS (or any other similar patcher) to patch your "clean" (unmodified) English (US) version of Pokémon Emerald. That's all there is to it.
Q. I patched it, but it doesn't work right. What did I do wrong? A. This sort of problem comes up very frequently, and 99.9% of the time, the problem is from using a corrupted/modified/wrong version of the ROM. Find the correct version of Emerald and try again.
Q. What exactly does the patch change? A. All of the Pokemon battle sprites (both front and back) menu icons, map layout, story, music, pokedex entries, moves, pretty much anything we can.
Q. So, can I catch ? A. If they are in the games, then yes, we are including all characters from Highly Responsive to Prayers through Hidden Star in Four Seasons and Antinomy of Common Flowers. If they are in a print work, then possibly, we will be including some characters from the print works, but not necessarily all of them.
Q. Does the patch work with PokeMMO? A. we do not know, we are still in the very early stages of development.
About spriting:
Q. I found some sprites online, can you use them? A. Maybe. Feel free to share them with us.
Q. I'd like to help with drawing sprites. How do I get started? A. Find a sprite that needs to be revamped and use your favorite image editor to work on it.
Q. What image editing software should I use? A. Anything that lets you pick colors, draw single pixels and save as png files. MS Paint, Paint.Net, Gimp, Photoshop,
etc. Whatever you feel most comfortable using.
Q. What are the technical specifications of a sprite? A. The front and back sprites are each 64x64 pixels. While it doesn't matter how many colors you use while working on a sprite, no more than 16 colors, including the background color, can be used for the final image that will be imported into the game/put into the patch. This is due to a technical limitation of the GBA. It is a good idea to keep that color limit in mind while working on a sprite. The shiny variation of each Pokemon must be identical to the normal variation, but has a separate 16 color palette. A full set of sprites for one Pokemon would be a 256x64 image with 4 sprites from left to right: normal front, shiny front, normal back, and shiny back.
Q. What's the difference between the front sprite and the back sprite? A. The front sprite typically shows the front of the Pokemon. This is the opposing one you see on the right side of the
battle screen in-game. The back sprite typically shows the back of the Pokemon. It is the one on the left side of the
battle screen in-game that's on your team. The back sprite can have cutoff at the bottom, in other words, the image looks like it continues farther down, but doesn't. The bottom of the back sprite will be covered by the attack menu in-game.
Q. How do I share my work? A. Save your image as a png file and upload it to your favorite image sharing website (tinypic, imgur, postimg,
photobucket, etc.) To make it easier for others to see the details, double the size of the image from 64x64 to 128x128 before uploading it. Use img tags in your forum post with the link to the image.
Q. I'm not good at drawing pixel art. Is there anything else I can do to help? A. there is a variety of things that we need help with in each area, any skills you bring to the table and any constructive criticism would be welcome.
(FAQ inspired by and modeled after the one on the Moemon Fire Red Revival Project (RE:START) https://forums.pokemmo.eu/index.php?/topic/40418\-ips\-moemon\-fire\-red\-revival\-project\-restart/ )
We are just getting started out and welcome any feedback that you have to share with us on what we have.

Welcome to the Rom hack reddit post for our Touhoumon game, Touhou Forgotten Puppet Fantasy! Here, we are combining two of our favorite things, Pokemon and Touhou, to create a fun and enjoyable game that combines the characters of the Touhou Project into the play style of Pokemon. This is a new endeavor for most of us, and will be a learning experience for all involved as most of us have not made a ROM hack before, and none of us have made one to this scale. If you want to join our discord server and see how we are coming along, then feel free to use this link(its set to never expire) to join and have a look around. https://discord.gg/uXKeVF4 If you would like to join us as we make this dream into a reality, then ask one of the admins and tell us what part of the project you would like to help with. Currently, we are specifically looking for people who are able to help with Scripting, music editing, and sprite editing.
If you have any questions that are not answered below, feel free to ask here or on the Discord server.
About Touhoumon in general:
Q. What is touhoumon? A. Pokémon but with Touhou characters instead of Pokémon, often the Pokémon replacements themselves will be dolls, thus being the reason that there are so many of each character.
Q. What is “Touhou"? A. Touhou is a bullet hell(Danmaku) game created by ZUN where most of the characters are female and have a basis in Japanese mythology.
Q. So... Pokémon as cute little girls?
A. Mostly, yeah. Exceptions are made for male characters
About the IPS patch:
Q. How do I install the patch? A. Download the latest version of the IPS file and use Lunar IPS (or any other similar patcher) to patch your "clean" (unmodified) English (US) version of Pokémon Emerald. That's all there is to it.
Q. I patched it, but it doesn't work right. What did I do wrong? A. This sort of problem comes up very frequently, and 99.9% of the time, the problem is from using a corrupted/modified/wrong version of the ROM. Find the correct version of Emerald and try again.
Q. What exactly does the patch change? A. All of the Pokemon battle sprites (both front and back) menu icons, map layout, story, music, pokedex entries, moves, pretty much anything we can.
Q. So, can I catch ? A. If they are in the games, then yes, we are including all characters from Highly Responsive to Prayers through Hidden Star in Four Seasons and Antinomy of Common Flowers. If they are in a print work, then possibly, we will be including some characters from the print works, but not necessarily all of them.
Q. Does the patch work with PokeMMO? A. we do not know, we are still in the very early stages of development.
About spriting:
Q. I found some sprites online, can you use them? A. Maybe. Feel free to share them with us.
Q. I'd like to help with drawing sprites. How do I get started? A. Find a sprite that needs to be revamped and use your favorite image editor to work on it.
Q. What image editing software should I use? A. Anything that lets you pick colors, draw single pixels and save as png files. MS Paint, Paint.Net, Gimp, Photoshop, etc. Whatever you feel most comfortable using.
Q. What are the technical specifications of a sprite? A. The front and back sprites are each 64x64 pixels. While it doesn't matter how many colors you use while working on a sprite, no more than 16 colors, including the background color, can be used for the final image that will be imported into the game/put into the patch. This is due to a technical limitation of the GBA. It is a good idea to keep that color limit in mind while working on a sprite. The shiny variation of each Pokemon must be identical to the normal variation, but has a separate 16 color palette. A full set of sprites for one Pokemon would be a 256x64 image with 4 sprites from left to right: normal front, shiny front, normal back, and shiny back.
Q. What's the difference between the front sprite and the back sprite? A. The front sprite typically shows the front of the Pokemon. This is the opposing one you see on the right side of the battle screen in-game. The back sprite typically shows the back of the Pokemon. It is the one on the left side of the battle screen in-game that's on your team. The back sprite can have cutoff at the bottom, in other words, the image looks like it continues farther down, but doesn't. The bottom of the back sprite will be covered by the attack menu in-game.
Q. How do I share my work? A. Save your image as a png file and upload it to your favorite image sharing website (tinypic, imgur, postimg,
photobucket, etc.) To make it easier for others to see the details, double the size of the image from 64x64 to 128x128 before uploading it. Use img tags in your forum post with the link to the image.
Q. I'm not good at drawing pixel art. Is there anything else I can do to help? A. there is a variety of things that we need help with in each area, any skills you bring to the table and any constructive criticism would be welcome.
(FAQ inspired by and modeled after the one on the Moemon Fire Red Revival Project (RE:START) https://forums.pokemmo.eu/index.php?/topic/40418-ips-moemon-fire-red-revival-project-restart/ )
We are just getting started out and welcome any feedback that you have to share with us on what we have.

EDIT 2: If your avatar has been stolen, you can detatch the blueprint ID in Unity, delete your avatar from uploaded content, then reupload it. The hackers will no longer have access to that avatar.
So if you haven't heard, hacked VRChat clients are the newest thing. They allow you to steal and save other people's avatars. This is highly discouraging to all players who spend time customizing avatars (myself included). The hacked client is absurdly easy to install and stealing avatars is even easier.
The current method of stopping this is to report anyone using hacked clients. The problem is, there are thousands upon thousands of people using hacked clients. Videos detailing how to install and use the clients have views over 20,000+.
My point is, reporting every hacker would take far too long. If I reported every person who stole my avatars, I would never get to actually play VRChat.
We need a system that prevents avatars from being stolen and saved! It is highly discouraging to long-term or hardcore players who spend so much time on their unique avatars. Over time, the long-term players will die off if this problem is not addressed!
My plea to the VRChat team; If you can't stop avatar copying, at least prevent hackers from saving our avatars as if it was their own!
EDIT: To further my point, this is what VRChat's current statment on reporting cheaters is:

"Reports will not be responded to. They will be reviewed by the VRChat moderation team. Only unlisted YouTube videos or photos on imgur, tinypic, photobucket, flickr, google photos will be looked at."

Unfortunately, I just don't have time to screenshot and upload, or record and upload every hacker stealing my avatars. There's just too many. To anyone on the VRChat team who may read this, please put a stop to this exploit!

Second Generation Nissan Frontier (D40) FAQ

We get a lot of the same questions here, mostly from prospective owners, so I figured I’d throw together an FAQ. Maybe the mods can sticky it, or add it to the sidebar. This FAQ is meant for the second generation, 2005+, of the North American Frontier (D40) and Suzuki Equator, which is literally a re-badged Frontier with a different grille. There might be some crossover between Navarra’s and NP300’s, but I can’t really say what. First gen and hardbody owners are SOL unfortunately. But if one of y’all are experts on the legacy Nissans let me know and I’ll make this FAQ more comprehensive.
I got most of the information from Club Frontier. It’s a fantastic resource for everything Frontier. The dudes and dudettes there are super friendly, and knowledgeable. If you can’t find an answer there, you really fucked up. Titan Talk and The New X are also excellent resources, as the Frontier and Xterra are almost the exact same, and the first gen Titan shares the same frame as the Frontier. The FSM is fantastic for backyard mechanics, and obviously YouTube is great for DIY’ers as well. Nissan has online versions of the owner’s manuals, which you should probably read. They’re surprisingly informative.
I feel like I’ve included most of the commonly asked questions around here, but if there’s something missing let me know and I’ll add a quick rundown. I don’t do any towing with my truck, so I’m definitely a little lacking on that side of things, beyond what’s in the manual. If anyone has anything they feel is good to know for towing, feel free to let me know what needs to be said.
 

What Truck Should I Buy

Obviously, the overwhelming advice here will be the Frontier. It’s a Frontier sub after all. Between the competition (Toyota Tacoma, Chevy/GMC Canyon/Colorado, Honda Ridgeline ) the Frontier is the oldest design. Which is a blessing and a curse. It means the aftermarket (for what it is) has caught up to the truck, and all of the majors wrinkles have been ironed out. On the flip side, it’s missing modern touches like LED lights, projector headlights, safety features like blind spot detection(if you’re into that kinda thing), electronic goodies like crawl control and fuel economy improvements. It also produces the most torque at the flywheel (281lb/ft!), has the lowest street price in any trim, discs on all four corners (really Toyota? It’s 2017 FFS), fully boxed frame (adds strength for towing, hauling, and flexy stuff) and probably the worst fuel economy. YMMV.
As far as what package to get if you’re buying off the lot, there’s really two choices. If you seriously wheel it all, Pro-4x is the only choice. If you have to ask if you need a Pro-4x, chances are you don’t. Most people looking at that package know exactly what it is, and why they want it. If you’re looking for a solid daily driver, tower, or hauler, look for an SV with the Value Truck Package. It’s the closest you’ll get to a modern truck. You get neat little add-ons like a back up camera, spray in bed liner, and upgraded audio. The Frontier in any configuration is no slouch off-road, but the non-Pro-4x models are missing the locking rear-diff, skids, bigger tires, and better shocks that make the Pro-4x the off-road beast it is. This page breaks down the differences between the various packages. It’s current as of 2017, and probably good as far back as 2012. There might be slight differences between the packages in older model year, but it’s a good start. If you need to know all the options of a used truck, Nissan can tell you every detail if you give them the VIN.
Other options like Crew Cab (four doors for more whores), King Cab (half suicide doors) long box (73”), short box (59.5”), auto or stick are up to you. You know your needs, we don’t. Generally speaking, a KC will have a long box, and the CC will have a short box, but long box CC’s do exist. I’ve never seen a shortbox KC in the wild, but I’m open to being corrected. 4x4 is always better to have and not need than to need and not have, so if you have the choice, opt for it. Worst case, you’ll get better resale value. The VQ40DE should be the only available motor for this truck. The QR25DE is a four banger best left to a mid size sedan, it has no place in a pickup truck. Period.
If you’re buying used, check CarFax for accident reports. The NHTSA has a searchable database of recalls for all vehicles, and the Frontier has been subject to a few. Your Nissan dealer can also pull all the voluntary recalls with the VIN.
What’s the Difference Between…
The Frontier was basically unchanged between ‘05 and (as of 2017) the ’18 model year. The generation 2.0 runs from 05-09. There was a minor facelift in ‘09 for generation 2.1, with different wheels and the switch from Nismo to Pro-4x branding, and the front end got a refresh. The early trucks have different headlights, and a flatter grille angle, so aftermarket headlights for the 2.0 won't work with 2.1 front ends. I consider everything post ‘12 generation 2.2. There’s no major differences from ’12 and up except improved parts design, and some extra options like back up sensors, improved audio systems, bigger wheels, and other minor stuff, like the $35,000 plastidip grill Midnight Edition. For major suspension, engine, driveline components an ‘05 will be the same as a ‘14 or a ’17 or an ‘09.
 

Common Issues

DISCLAIMER: I’m by no means a Nissan technician. If something blows up because you misdiagnosed it based on advice from an internet stranger, I take zero responsibility. If you’re even remotely unsure get an educated second opinion from a mechanic you trust. Most of these problems exist in the 2.0/2.1 (‘05-’12) generation of the D40. If you buy a ’12 and newer you should be in the clear.
Strawberry Milkshake of Death
SMOD is cross contamination of ATF and coolant, due to a poorly designed transmission cooler. It’s a super easy fix, you can bypass your transmission cooler, upgrade to a post ’12 rad or an aftermarket radiator. If the rad gets contaminated, it’s basically time to start shopping for a new transmission. You might be able to bring it back by flushing the transmission several times with regular ATF, but no promises. If you buy a truck with the mysterious third pedal, you can avoid the issue entirely.
note: this may or may not affect trucks with the QR25DE. I’ve never run across one that’s had it happen, but AFAIK the rads and trannies are the same, so the possibility exists
Timing Chain Guides (VQ40 only)
Once again, this issue shouldn’t affect the ’12 and newer trucks, or higher mileage older trucks. There was problems with whatever plastic Nissan used for the timing chain guides and they wear out very prematurely. It causes the guides to fail, allowing the timing chain to slap against the block. Diagnosis is pretty simple. The chains make a god awful racket as soon as you start the truck. It’s a very distinct noise. It sounds exactly like chains rattling against metal. If you leave it too long it can cause catastrophic damage to the entire block. But at least you’ll have an excuse to VK or Cummins swap the truck. Unfortunately there’s nothing you can do to prevent it, except replace it. Most of the reports I’ve seen have been less than 80,000 km (50k miles), so your trucks over 100k will likely have had the issue resolved. There’s currently a class action lawsuit against Nissan in the States, so you might be able to get reimbursed for any repairs you’ve done. I’m in Canada and am the furthest thing from a lawyer, so I don’t know the first thing about how to get involved or get paid. Contact a lawyer in your area.
Code P0443
Ah, emissions codes. Don’t you just love the EPA? This is one of the few issues, at least from what I’ve seen, that hasn’t really gone away in the gen 2.2 refresh. Basically the solenoid that allows the EVAP canister to “purge” itself will pack itself full of dust, fail, and throw codes. You can prolong it by rerouting the vent to one of the tail lights. It might prevent it, it might only prolong the inevitable. There was an improved design release in ’12, that part number should supersede the old numbers, and apparently be slightly less bad, but double check. Most parts sites will tell you if it’s the new p/n or not. Because it’s emissions related if your jurisdiction doesn’t require emissions testing, ignore it, or do the cheap and dirty fix. If you have to pass smog to register your truck, you’re pretty much on the hook for a $300 part that may or may not last until you re-test. You can try pulling the canister and blowing it out with a compressor, but most people say you’re only kicking the can further down the road.
There’s also a few accounts floating around online of people getting P0443 after topping off their gas tank (gotta get those nice round numbers at the pump), or even filling too fast. I don’t top off my tank, and I never go full squeeze on the nozzle so I don’t know how much truth there is that.
note: this may present itself as P0448 as well, from what I can see the codes are related, likely due to the EVAP canister being unable to purge itself
SRS Light
This one is tricky. Obviously, a compromised airbag is less than ideal, but at the same time lots of modern vehicles, the Frontier gets to be modern in this case, have issues with aftermarket stereos tripping the SRS light for whatever reason but the airbag itself is fine. If you’ve just tinkered with any of the wiring in the truck and get a flashing airbag light, there’s a good chance it just needs to be reset. If you haven’t changed anything, or the light comes on out of the blue, get a shop to pull the code. You might have to go to the dealer for this one, as it’s hit or miss which scan tools will pull airbag codes. There was also a recall for some of the earlier generation 2.0 trucks (05-09).
My Headlights Suck
Aim them properly. Nissan aimed the headlights low from the factory assuming that most people would be doing truck stuff with their truck. If you have weight in the bed, or a lift, they’re almost perfect. Empty, they’re woefully low. There’s a little knob on the back of the housing. 1.5-2 turns counter-clockwise with an 8mm wrench should get them where they need to be. If they still suck, you can put upgraded bulbs, like PIAA or Sylvania Super White and get better output. If you decide to go full HID or LED, do the retrofit. Regular halogen headlight assemblies and HIDs do not mix. The OEM housing don’t scatter the light properly, resulting in really bright lights right at the bumper and almost zero light down the road where it’s needed. For HID ballasts themselves, 4000K is the “best” temperature for the human eye, but 6000K is that nice stark white everyone likes. Any higher than that, you’re getting into riced-out-Fast-and-Furious Honda Civic territory. I’m not saying don’t do it, it’s your truck do what you want to it. I’ll just silently judge you for having purple headlights. Also; check your local laws. Some jurisdictions have limits on colour temperature. As always, it’s not up to me to know your laws.
Rough Idle
We’re not talking about a truck with 200k mi that’s never had new plugs, or missed its last four oil changes. That should be pretty obvious. Lots of owners complain about a rough idle at red lights, even on newer, impeccably maintained trucks. Nissan set the idle a little on the low side, most likely to save fuel economy. Take it to the dealer, get them to bump up the idle 50-100 rpm and listen to that kitten purr.
 

My Fuel Economy Sucks

It’s a 4000lb truck, without gear, fuel and passengers; with a 13 year old motor that’s based off an even older block. But…but, but the EPA sticker says it gets 21mpg highway. Yes, it’s capable of 21mpg. Unloaded, with highway tires, on perfectly flat roads, doing highway driving. It’s a truck, with a steel boxed frame and sheet metal. It makes damn near V8 torque without a V8 price tag. If you want 21mpg all the time, buy a Versa. Things like a CAI, exhaust, ECU tune, intake manifold spacer might increase your mileage, but if you’re anything like me you won’t be able to keep your foot out of it and your mileage will probably drop. If your truck has a third pedal (standard), you might be able to squeeze slightly better mileage out of it.
 

Can I Run x Tires/Wheels/What Tires/Wheels Should I Get

Generally speaking, the biggest tire you can run without lift or trimming is the factory Pro-4x tire size, 265/75R16, or similar variations like 265/70R17. You might be able to stuff 285/75R16’s without any lift, but you’ll definitely need to take off the mud flaps (if equipped, apparently they’re optional in some places), trim some sheet metal and probably melt the fender liner to prevent rubbing.
As far as tire brands are concerned, there are literally hundreds of brands and models to choose from. I suggest Google, or, God forbid, calling some tire shops and chatting about your specific needs. Personally, I suggest a good all terrain tire as an excellent middle ground for a daily driveweekend warrior. But again, you know your needs better than we do. If your truck is exclusively a pavement princess or toy hauler, buying a set of General Grabber red letters is overkill. Ditto if you’re in a rainy part of the continent and play in the mud a lot; a highway tire won’t do jack shit. The overwhelming, jack of all trades, recommendation is gonna be the BFG T/A KO2. It is an excellent, albeit pricey, AT tire. They’ve been around for ages, and they’re a staple of off-road racing. It’s probably the tire you picture when you think of an all terrain tire, whether you know or it. I’m a big fan of my Falken Wildpeak AT3w, they’re a really well designed, good looking, cheaper than BFG alternative. Other options for a solid, generally well-reviewed, AT include the Goodyear Wrangler Duratrac; General Grabber AT3; Hankook Dynapro AT-m. If you run one of set of tires year round, check your local laws if you need snowflake rated tires in the winter months. Make sure you pick a tire that will have the snowflake rating, or buy dedicated snows. Most modern AT tires do, but again, I’m not responsible for your ignorance of local laws. Also, as a Canadian with way too much experience driving the winter, a snowflake rated MT is a bold faced lie. Mud terrains are just awful on ice, compact snow, or anything that isn’t deep powder or mud.
For wheels, you’ll need at least a 16x7” wheel with a 6x114.3(4.50 in freedom units) bolt pattern. I can’t honestly say what the minimum backspacing or offset will be, cuz of differences in measuring and manufacturing, but most places like Discount Tire or Tire Rack will have tools that will give you fit information. There’s also a list of wheels confirmed to fit our trucks. Most of the time, positive offset will tuck the wheels in more and negative offset will give you more poke, provided your wheels are the same width. Once again, I’m not responsible for knowing your local laws. Around these parts any tire poke is grounds for a fix-it ticket. If you’ve got similar laws, it’s up to you to know. The biggest issue with offset and backspace on the Frontier is the front calipers. They’re relatively massive, and if you don’t have enough offset or too much backspace they’ll bind. If you’re not afraid of a zip disc, you might be able to massage some material off the caliper, but that’s entirely on you. You might also run into binding or rubbing at the top of the suspension travel if you have lots of poke, but if you’re frequently maxing out your suspension uptravel, you’re probably not reading an FAQ.
 

What/How Much Lift Should I Get

Read this. Jen does an excellent job of laying out all the options and uses for each lift. Be honest with yourself and your intended uses. If you want to Titan swap your truck just for street cred, there’s nothing wrong with that; but it’s a big investment for cool points. Conversely, eBay spacers and blocks probably won’t cut it if you wanna do the Rubicon trail. Generally, if you go to bigger tires than 33”, you’ll want to upgrade your front differential to the Titan M205 front diff, or at the very least look at aftermarket gears, as they’re the common failure point. The rear diff depends on the model. Most trucks have a C200K, which is strong enough for most applications, except for big (33”+) tires and pretty hardcore wheeling or rock bouncing (which I don’t suggest in a 4000lb truck). All standard or Pro-4x trucks come with the bastardized Dana44 M226, which will handle just about anything you can throw at it, except for maybe 40’s. Also, if you manage to get 40’s on your truck, I want to see build deets, cuz that’s impressive. Unfortunately, it’s not entirely a D44, so things like lockers, gears, and covers won’t actually fit. But at least it’s strong.
 

I Broke/Want x Part

Rock Auto is by far and a way the best source for OEM replacement parts. Even with a piss-poor Canuck buck, insane shipping charges, I buy almost everything from them. Their prices are just that good. Courtesy Parts is another excellent source, particularly if you’re actually in the States. Their shipping and brokerage fees are kinda high for us north of the 49th, but they’ve got every OEM Nissan part, and the fancy NISMO stuff, you can possibly imagine. The Nissan e-Store is amazing for locating part numbers for interchange, or searching. Nisstec and PRG are the go-to sources for aftermarket goodies like lifts. Keep in mind that PRG is somewhat infamous in the Nissan community for being next to impossible to get a hold of. Hefty Fabworks, Shrockworks and Calmini are the go-to options for bumpers, skids, and sliders. Coastal Offroad also ships weld it yourself bumper kits for the second gen Frontier if you wanna take advantage of a lackluster loonie and have some fabrication skills. There’s also WAM Bumpers, but they bought out a company with a less than stellar reputation, and the jury is still out on if they’ve improved or not.
 

I Wanna Go Fast

Like I said earlier, it’s a 4000lb truck. You’re not setting any quarter mile times with it. But there are options for bolt-on go-fast goodies. The most common choices will be an intake and exhaust. There’s lots of debate between sealed or open airboxes, and both have their pros and cons. An open airbox, like a K&N might give you slightly better air flow and intake noise, but they’re far more likely to hydrolock your motor if you do lots of water crossings. And it can happen if the water line is below you hood, because, unless you’re fully armoured, water can get up into the engine bay. A sealed intake like a Volant can prevent that, but apparently it moves the power band higher robs torque. And all that delicious VQ torque is why the Frontier is such an amazing truck. In my opinion the factory air intake is pretty damn good, maybe just slap an aftermarket filter in there and hack out the silencer tube(pic coming). You get the best of both worlds this way. No torque loss and you get it lets you hear that VQ open up a little more. For exhaust stuff, most people suggest replacing the OEM y-pipe, and staying with 2.25” piping. The OEM y-pipe is restrictive and crappy. It also opens up the powerband a little, and moves the torque curve slightly lower in the RPM. Going to larger diameter pipe usually ends up robbing torque or just becoming raspy beyond belief. Beyond that, it depends on what you want your truck to sound like. Spend some time on YouTube or here listening to different mufflers. What sounds amazing to you, might be obnoxious and way too loud for someone else. Because V6’s are pretty much the worst kind of motor, finding a system that doesn’t drone at 2-3k rpm isn’t easy and people have spent big money preventing it. No one system will really give massive performance gains, but a set of long tube headers can add decent, measurable numbers. If you live in a smog state, these may not be legal as they replace the primary catalytic converters. Also, they throw codes unless you run dummy plugs or simulate them with a tune. Some people have had decent success removing the secondary cats and replacing them resonators, but apparently it can be a little raspy.
Once you get beyond the basics, an intake manifold spacer is an excellent investment. It’s a piece of aluminum that lives between your upper and lower intake plenum. It gives the airflow a chance to smooth out a bit, and cool down slightly. Both of which increase power. I’ve had one on my truck for about a year and I cannot say enough good things about it. It definitely wakes up the VQ in all the right places. It’s easily one of the best mods I’ve done to my truck. I definitely blame it for my terrible fuel economy. It’s just too much fun to drive respectably after I installed it. Stillen makes underdrive or lightweight crank pulleys, and they can free up some power too. The underdrive pulley requires a shorter belt, so talk to Stillen for the proper size.
If you still need more power, an UpRev tune, or even a plug and play tuner can add a fair chunk of power. A dedicated tune like UpRev is great because it’s custom built for your truck. If it’s controlled by the ECU, it can be changed. Wheel speed(for oveunder sized tires), shift points, air fuel mixture, WOT (wide open throttle) restriction delete, 02 sensor simulators. The plug and play options give you more options for pre-set, change on the fly tunes, like economy, tow, or performance. But because they’re generic you might not get all of the available ponies out of them, or be able to get into the more in-depth options like shift points or 02 sensors.
Edit: typos and formatting
Edit 2 17-12-20: Added link so mobile users don't get a picture of a Suzuki Equator for their thumbnail. Added more links
Edit 3 17-12-23 Fixed bad math in timing chain section
Edit 4 18-01-04 Added notes on P0443
Edit 5 2018-03-14 Updated 2.1 body style refresh info
Edit 6 2018-05-15 Changed FSM source as ClubNico got fucked by the long dick of Nissan's legal team. Shoutout to u/h83r for noticing the change. Also; the new FSM doesn't show anything newer than '14. Everything major will be the same, but some of the new fangled electronics may not be available. I'll see if I can find an up to date source. Also; I'd be down to crowd fund a license from Nissan if that's what everyone wants to do

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How are you guys dealing with the heat? I made this years ago and it was definitely very effective. Since heat rises naturally it worked well but I also had 3x 120mm fans within the sheet metal shroud. I no longer have this janky setup, I just have a much more efficient machine. Still, when I get my house I will have a V2.0 of this setup.
FYI:The room is constructed of 100 year old plaster so I didn't care to hack it up, at some point I'll gut it and drywall it.
EDIT:Sorry I was trying to imbed the image but I have no idea what I'm doing.

The Mass Effect 3 mutliplayer is still going, even more than 5 years after the game launched. I think it's a testament to how well balanced and fun this game's horde mode is, and I think some people may either be new to it or may have forgotten how great it is, so I wanted to share my experience from this morning. It was a lot of fun and got me pumped for a good day at work.
I joined a Gold game right before work this morning and was surprised to find it was a hacked lobby.
There were dozens and dozens of husks and possessed abominations all over the battlefield. They swarmed at use from all sides, like ants converging on an enemy spider. The action was frantic as we grappled with husks and tried to avoid self destruction through clearing possessed abominations too close to ourselves.
Later they spawned in some Brutes, some Possessed Troopers and Scions, and some Cerberus classes.
I was playing an N7 Destroyer with a Typhoon and double-missile Hawk shoulder mounted launcher mod. I had the Warfighter loadout for more assault rifle damage and 2 more grenades.
We had a Phantom (Shadow Infiltrator),Drell of some type, and the Paladin in the group. The snap freeze was put to great use, the Drell's abilities matched with the pistol that fires explosive shots was really well used in clearing enemies, and the phantom was an excellent chain detonator. At one point we had a Slayer in the mix, but I'm not sure where he went.
Everyone did an amazing job, and the frantic pace of the action made teamwork and sticking together essential.
It was an amazing sight and feeling to have a 200 round drum in the Destroyer's N7 Typhoon, armor piercing rounds equipped, and just have the ability to hold the trigger down on waves and waves of hundreds of cyborg zombie husks, mowing them down like the Heavy in TF2. And while this was happening, missiles were launching from my shoulder pods like War Machine, streaking across the battlefield and smashing alien monsters, knocking them back and detonating others.
And when the odds got too great or the enemies too close, a quick burst of wrist-mounted cluster explosive munitions cleared the area, chain detonating several Abominations and husks all at once.
It took every last med pack, revive pack, and ammo pack I had to make it through that hacked lobby game, but it was some of the most fun I've had in Mass Effect in a long time.
Looking forward to doing it again!

Name: Shard Drake Aberwyke the White Dragon
Quote: “Come not between the dragon, and [her] wrath." - William Shakespeare,
Theme: Wizards in Winter - Trans-Siberian Orchestra

Background

A large egg, seemingly carved out of ruby was left as a gift for Prince Harry from a secret admirer. The Prince, not being an idiot, got nowhere near the thing and had a bomb squad robot carry it off. While it was very hot when first encountered, when it was placed in storage it actually cooled and paled to a dull white. After a few months of it not showing any signs of danger, except a risk of frostbite if handled it was moved to the Jewel House in the Tower of London to be put on display with the other eccentric gifts the Royal family has been given over the centuries. There it was a hit with both the tourists, who found it fascinating, and the administrators, who never had to use the air conditioner that summer.
The show abruptly came to an end when the egg began to hatch. expecting some sort of monstrosity, the security guards were ready to shoot only to discover it was a little dragon girl. She was whisked away and transferred to the care of a metahuman orphanage that was set up shortly after the Godhead incident.
Due to the controversy surrounding her delivery to Prince Harry, there was some suspicion that she may be the daughter of the Prince. This was disproved with a DNA test. Conspiracy theorists of course just see the DNA test results as part of an official cover up. The story does return to the gossip tabloids occasionally on slow news days.
She has discovered that her father is Maslin the wizard. She has run away from the orphanage to live with Caesar, her father's familiar.
Her lair is a moon base that is a Nazi type XXI u-boat Gah'Tuk light space cruiser. She has repaired most of the battle damage, so it is airtight, has emergency power, and life support systems. It still lacks a main power system for the weapons and shields and she doesn't know how to fix the FTL drive.
Description: In human form she is an albino woman with white hair and pink eyes. 5'4" 52 kg (115 lbs)
In hybrid form she is covered in fine scales that look like skin from a distance and she grows out wings and a tail. (Same height as human, but heavier with a tail and wings, 60 kg)
In dragon form she is 50 m long and weighs 120 tonnes with a head and throat large enough to swallow a humpback whale.
She has a keen intellect and wit, but still lacks experience due to her young age. She is fairly worldly, thanks to growing up as an orphan. She has come out of her shell a lot, and is no longer timid, but still has an incredibly high pitched voice from the helium she constantly produces. Her experiences have made her jaded and cynical. She has been lied to and abandoned by some of the people she trusted most. Although she strives to be a good person, she tends toward brutality and viciousness in combat.
Hatch day: June 6, 2006.
Blood Type: B- (Because Vague thought this detail was needed.)
Intent: RP and stories.
Alignment: WWJD, A.K.A. What Would Jackson Do?
Tier: Foxtrot

Powers:

Chill: Shard's cold attacks can put people into suspended animation, rather than killing them if they are frozen.
Fire Eater: Shard can create trails of thermal conductivity around her; allowing her to move up to 5 TJ of heat at up to mach 400. Maximum range 100 m. She can adjust the size of the trails to be as small as a square centimeter in cross section. (However if she is affecting something with a soul it either affects them entirely or not at all. No brain freeze only.) She can manipulate the shape of these trails on the fly and create different networks that are not connected if she chooses. If she leaves an area or falls unconscious the effect ends. She can simply make the entire area thermally conductive if she wishes. She can use the thermal trails to contain shock waves and explosions under 50 GJ.
Frozen Heart: Shard is not harmed by cold. She does get sluggish (1 sec reaction time) under 0.1 K and freezes solid at 5.7 aK (atto Kelvin), into a state of suspended animation. When frozen she is completely helpless and unable to heat herself, she needs to be heated by an outside source to thaw. Her comfortable body temperature is cold as ice 0° Celsius, but she usually keeps a temperature closer to human for social reasons. She can negate or generate up to 40 TW of heat, However she will suffer heat stroke if her core temperature is raised above 5000° Celsius. Shard is immune to direct thermal manipulation (i.e. a power that sets a flat temperature will not affect her) but not thermal energy.
Helium beam: Shard can shoot a line of liquid helium with incredible force out her mouth or nose at a maximum speed of Mach 600. This is, of course, incredibly cold (1 K), but it comes out with considerable force. Up to 3 GN (14.5 tonnes/s). This can be focused into a 45 TPa cutting beam (1 cm² area), widened into a blunt force beam, or used for thrust in space. Shard can use her flight to anchor against the beam if she doesn't want to be pushed back. She can narrow the beam further, but at weaker strength, not exceeding 45 TPa, but making the beam as thin as a nm² . Beams of 1 cm² or larger cools the target area at 24 GW.
Icy Touch: Shard can drain 1 TJ of thermal energy on contact, however she takes the heat into her and repeated use can cause heatstroke if she doesn't take time to metabolize the heat. She can activate this power and allow an opponent to touch her. Effect is dispersed through the body of a creature with a soul. Non-living things reduced to 0 K by this effect become brittle and have their durability reduced by 90%. This attack is not conducted through her heat trails.
Thermal Metabolism: Shard does not need to eat or breathe, she only breathes in order to talk or smell. She gains nourishment from ambient heat, which she absorbs. (Although she does eat to gain mass during growth spurts.) As a side effect she has very high thermal conductivity. Heat dissipates through her body nearly instantly. At high temperatures she would suffer heat stroke before superficial burns.
Flight: Her flight is a meta ability; her wings are usually only used for maneuvering or for show, like when giving kids dragon rides.
Oversized attacks: In dragon form her claws, tail, and mouth are huge.
Shrink: The contents of her stomach shrink when she is in hybrid or human form. They return to normal if expelled. For instance if she swallows a character while in dragon form and switches form before he can fight his way out, the swallowed character will shrink with her to 1/8000th his normal size (Eating a 32 tonne whale would fill her belly like eating a 4 kg steak). If they later climb out her mouth or cuts their way out of her stomach they will return to normal as soon as they are clear of her body.
Swallow Whole: In dragon form she can swallow a humpback whale with some difficulty. In hybrid form her throat can stretch enough to swallow something the size of a chihuahua, but a rat or smaller animal she can slurp down like spaghetti. In human form she can swallow a cue ball. Has no gag reflex in any form, as she doesn't need to breathe. She can digest anything that can be burned.

Enhanced Physicals

• Can see people on Earth from the moon.
  
• Can hear a scream for help from 20 km away. Admittedly she hears it a minute later than it was made.
  
• Can sense the thermal layout of the area within 750 m in real time.
  
• Can smell scents as faint as ppt, and can smell and identify metals at ppq (parts per quadrillion).
  
• Can pinpoint a noise within 400 m in hybrid and dragon form. (If she hears something within this range, she knows the exact direction and distance.) This ability is nm precise, but only gives the location of the source at the time the sound was made.
  
• Does not suffer from physical exhaustion, but still needs to sleep for mental exhaustion. Can stay awake for three weeks, but would be delusional by that point. Is still feeling tired after 16-20 hours just like a normal person.
  
• Reaction time: 55 microseconds, drops to 550 microseconds if her spell slots are depleted.
  
• Reach: 10m for claw/punch, 20m for bite or tail slap in dragon form.
  
• Strength: 375,000 tons. In dragon form she has 375,000 ton grip strength in her claws, allowing her to pick up awkward objects. Bite strength in dragon form is 11 GN and 100 TPa (But her mouth can be held shut by someone stronger than her 375,000 tons). Spikes on her head and tail can inflict 75 TPa with full strength. Claws can cut for 100 TPa Strength is reduced to 37, 500 tons if Ki is depleted.
  

Movement speed

Flight Speed	Mach 125	Mach 250	Mach 375	Mach 500
Distance	Leap/initial speed	200 m	3 km	6 km
Space Acceleration	Mach 4000/s

Running speed is basically using flight while touching the ground. Otherwise Mach 50. 90° turn in 20 m, 180° turn or full stop in 30 m. 90° turn slows speed to Mach 250 if faster. 180° slows to Mach 125 if faster. Turning radius doubled if she cannot use wings. (Such as in human form or carrying a large load.) Speeds are reduced to 10% if all spell slots are expended.

Combat

Twitch body movements: Mach 125
Reactions: 55 μs (Drops to 550 μs if all spell slots are expended)

Durability

Durability	Kinetic	Force	Skin/Inside of Mouth	Muscle	Bone	Scales
No Sell	450 GJ	900 MN
Tank	1 TJ	10 GN	35 tPa	50 tPa	65 tPa	80 tPa
Stagger	1.5 TJ	20 GN	65 tPa	115 tPa	170 tPa	180 tPa
Knock Out	2 TJ	50 GN	100 tPa	150 tPa	200 tPa	265 tPa

Temp change Resistance As per dragon mass x10, effectively 20,000x resistance.
Knock Out 5000° Celsius.
Has comparable durability to attack forms not listed.
Has an out of combat regeneration. Heals 1 kg/s at dragon size, 0.5 g/s in human/hybrid form. This allows her to regrow a lost limb in a few hours.

Skills:

• High Magical attunement.
  
• Good at appraising precious metals. (gold, silver, platinum, etc) She can smell them and appraise purity/quality, she doesn't necessarily know the market value of something from this ability.
  
• Can track by scent.
  
• Can identify people by scent, including identify someone else's smell on you.
  
• Has studied metal refining and can separate metal ores.
  
• Has learned how to make and receive phone calls and texts over cellular towers using radio flashes from her Harken the Stars spell. She is not hacking the system, simply mimicking the responses her phone would make. she still gets billed and tracked for usage as if she used her phone. Can decode common picture, audio, and video formats in her head to use her phone's data plan magically, but this takes a lot of concentration.
  

Magic:

Attunement: High
Experience: Has been studying magic since Oct 2007.
Shard has been training with Helena on how to use and regenerate her mana more efficiently. She can now cast 10 spells in a three second period. Unless otherwise specified two of these spells are tied up with a contingency teleport to the lawn in front of Boston General Hospital in case of serious injury.

Incantations

These spell need Shard to say a word or phrase of power to activate. Since she generates her own air, she can cast them fine underwater or in a vacuum.
Fabricate: Crafts raw material into a finished product. Requires the raw materials. Can turn a dead tree into a dining room set, A broken pile of marble stone into a statue, shed dragon scales into a suit of armor, or similar. She cannot make something that requires intricate internal components without either having the parts or knowing exactly how to make them. For instance she can make, or repair a sword, but not a hard drive. She can make an object without the materials, but such conjured objects will count toward her spells cast until they are dissipated when the spell is cancelled or Shard falls unconscious (including normal sleep). Casting takes a second. Making magic items requires a ley well and takes 10 minutes. (Magic items cannot be made out of materials conjured by this spell.)
Teleport: Can move herself and what she is carrying to a location she is familiar has visited or somewhere she can see or specify ( 18 mm southwest of that noise I heard, 5.128 light years toward that star, et cettera ). Does not pull unwilling people. Cannot teleport into a living creature, unless in an area accessible from outside the creature. (Like into her mother's mouth.) She can bring up to her carrying capacity in material and willing subjects. She can teleport to and from her cottage as if it were not a different dimension, due to her attunement and familiarity with the place. She can teleport out of (but not into) other pocket dimensions. Teleporting with more than 10% her carrying capacity leaves her feeling slightly nauseous and light headed for about a minute. Teleporting out of a pocket dimension without the owner's permission will sicken her and have her vomiting for about a minute.
Detect Magic: Detects magic users, items, spells, and ley wells/lines. Can see the aura of magical spells, spell effects, and items. Works as a spacial sense with a 3 km range. Can be kept up as long as she is conscious but counts against her spells cast while active.
Dispel Magic: Cancels an existing magical effect. Does not work on completed effects (cannot undo a heal spell or the damage from a fireball). Can work on magic items to temporarily suppress them, but the magic can be recharged normally. Does not work on more powerful magic than her own.
Contingency: Sets a trigger to automatically activate another spell. This spell lasts until triggered, or cancelled whichever happens first. The other spell is cast at the time the contingency. (So a contingent teleport counts as two spells cast). Can only have one contingency spell in effect at a time, recasting will cancel any existing contingency spell. Usually casts a contingent teleport to bring her (and only her) home if she is knocked unconscious. Casting time 1 sec plus the spell triggered, but the triggered effect is instant.
Relativity: Increases her speed and reactions by a factor of ten for one millisecond. One second casting time. Cannot be used with contingency. Stacks with Ki. She inflicts and receives kinetic energy as if traveling 10% of her speed while this spell is active.

Hexes

These spells do not require a verbal command.
Harken the Stars: Her right eye turns blue when this spell is active. Shard can see through the EM spectrum, including X-rays and radio waves. She can also flash pulses of light, radio, etc to communicate. Grants 360 degree all around vision, but does not enhance her acuity any further than normal. Currently this spell to listen to and talk on unencrypted channels, more secure means of communication will need practice. (She can still detected an encrypted signal, it just looks like flashing jibberish.) Shard learned the signals to use this spell to make and receive cell phone calls or texts by playing with her phone and listening to the signals between it and the cell tower.
Ki: She focuses her magic to improve her speed and reflexes. Without Ki her speed drops by a factor of 10. She can channel this power indefinitely (so it is included in her stats), as long as she has at least one spell slot available.
Telekinesis: Shard can telekinetically grab, lift, crush, throw or deflect something within 100 m. She needs to make a hand motion to cast or direct this spell. Has only one point of contact, with the control similar to her hand motion, although she does not get tactile feedback. Has up to 5000 tons of force. Effect moves at Mach 100 relative to Shard.
Lightning Bolt: Can cast a single stroke of lightning for up to 40 GJ or a continuous arc for up to 100 GW. (Effectively thermal damage from lightning heating.) Range is 500 m, bolt or beam travels at Mach 100 Relative to Shard.

Cantrips

These spells require so little mana they can be cast at will.
Prestidigitation: Minor tricks to help the novice spellcaster practice. Cleans, soils, heats, cools, colors, flavors or scents objects. Can slowly lift an object weighing up to one pound. Can create very flimsy and fake objects or illusions. (Objects are obviously fake/artificial. Characters familiar with magic can tell they are temporary.) Cannot deal damage. Cannot break another mage's concentration. Any changes beyond moving, cleaning or soiling an object last for an hour.
Mage Hand: Summons a hand with 100 N of strength. Hand cannot move more that 20 m from her. Hand can move as fast as her hand (but has no weight, impacts with the hand can not cause damage beyond the 100 N of force). Hand is as dexterous and fast as her real hands.

Crafting:

• Enchanted weapons that are sharper and more durable than their materials normally allow.
  
• Armor that is self sealing/repairing.
  
• Clothing/gear to adapt to other humanoid forms on a shape shifter or meld into the body when shifting to drastically different forms.
  
• Purses, bags, pockets, etc that open to extra dimensional spaces.
  
• Can replace the key to access her cottage if lost/destroyed.
  

Gear:

Magical dress of scales: Type 1 artifact, and will change to fit the wearer if they change to other humanoid forms and meld with the wearer if they change forms more drastically. Has two pockets that are extradimensional spaces, able to hold up to ten tons and objects up to three meters long. Anything she puts in a dress pocket is not accessible in dragon form.
Magic boots of scales: Made from a brass colored dragon, these have the same properties as her dress.
Handy Handbag: It looks like a small woman's purse made from dragon leather. The mouth can stretch up to 2 meters across and it can hold 10 m³ of stuff.
The Staff of Maslin: A durable enchanted wooden staff with a gem on top that served as Maslin's focus. It is a type 3 magic item which can act as a compass and various measuring tools (barometer, astrolabe, star chart, etc.). She generally leaves this at home.
The Skeleton Key: This bronze key is actually a type IV magic item that Maslin accidentally stole from another mage who is now long dead. Once placed in a door and turned, the door becomes a temporary portal into a pocket dimension. The dimension appears as a small grassy island floating in space. On the island is a cottage complete with garden, running water, and all the amenities of home. Once door closes, the portal is closed as well. Exiting the dimension leaves you back at the door you came through to get there. She has made herself a spare key. Shard is attuned to this plane and treats it as her personal property for magical effects. She can bar access but not banish, she has to manually get someone to leave after they arrive.
Caesar: Shard freed Caesar from being trapped in the Maslin's pocket dimension, and has kept him close by ever since. Caesar appears as a small, Siamese kitten with two tails, but is actually a type IV magical construct. He is intelligent and serves Shard, although she treats him more as a guardian and source of wisdom. The cat has an exceptional memory, and mainly serves to teach Shard of things Maslin's done, though he also serves another important purpose. Caesar the cat is able to see if someone is a wizard, as well as their approximate power level. Shard does not take Caesar into danger intentionally.
Gah'Tuk Fleet Admiral's uniform: This outfit seems to have built in command codes to allow access to Gah'Tuk ships. She has replaced
Gah'Tuk Magical Dagger: Daggers are very durable and have incredibly high thermal capacity, able to block and absorb thermal attacks (However enough thermal attacks will still heat/cool the blades).
Gah'Tuk light space cruiser, some assembly required.
Has a Health Potion, a Sleeping Potion, and a Polypurpose Panacea available at home. Has a bean bag chair that looks a lot like her curled in a ball, because it was made out of her shed skin. It is filled with fake coins.
Several vials of Vitagen. Shard does not know Dr. Ward. She buys them from the black market.
Type XXI U boat, purchased from Hitler. She keeps it on the moon as a second home, but needs to bring it to earth every few months to run the diesel engines and recharge the batteries.
Two dragon corpses she recovered after an encounter with Reed and keeps stored on the moon. (She had three, but has since used one for crafting)
Has a trust fund worth tens of millions that her income from selling iron ore to steel plants goes into. Her lawyer and accountant handle it until she is 18. Thanks to her account claiming her charity work as charitable contributions the contents of her fund are tax free.
Her dragon hoard is in theory worth tens of billions. In practice attempting to sell it would crash the gold market, cause financial instability and possibly trigger a recession. Regardless actually selling it is inconceivable to her. She has a hard time selling gold that she just mined out of an asteroid, but she sometimes crafts personal gifts out of gold.

Weaknesses

• Made by magic. She radiates magic as a magical creature, even in human form. her body parts make useful spell and magic item crafting components, which makes her a target for wizards. Her scales are particularly valuable.
  
• Easily distracted by shiny objects. Has the avarice and penchant for collecting treasure to sit on common in dragons, but has far more willpower than her mother. However, her own hoard is a different matter. She has a hard time resisting the urge to use lethal force against thieves.
  
• Short temper.
  
• Recovering cocaine addict. May relapse easily.
  
• Slow for Foxtrot.
  
• Can be manhandled by larger opponents.
  
• Considers Jackson a role model.
  

Feats

• Ate a humpback whale. Shard can eat a third her body weight, 40 tons, in one meal.
  
• Made an enchanted dress out of her scales that is as resistant to piercing as she is.
  
• Made an enchanted sword so tough she can't break it and so sharp a normal human can cut steel with it.
  
• Ran a thermal trail through a missile, igniting the warhead with the heat of its own engine.
  
• Froze 100,000 pine beetles to death at once without harming the trees they were on or a single squirrel.
  
• Made a bean bag chair out of a sack from her shed scales and filled with copper coins.
  
• Froze an Olympic sized swimming pool (2.5 ML) solid from 20°C in 26 ms.
  
• Was struck by a 75 kg Echo brick with cap thermal durability. He was frozen solid on contact by Icy Touch.
  
• Swam to the bottom of the Mariana Trench.
  
• Slammed her tail into the ground, causing an earthquake that registered a 5 on the Richter scale.
  
• Put out a forest fire by dispersing the heat and absorbing it.
  
• Her saliva can remove stains. Licked a chocolate stain out of a shirt.
  
• Dodged Charlie's attacks.
  
• Teleported to Boston from the moon.
  
• Was frozen and helpless in dragon form at 0 K. Thawed from neutrino radiation alone in 5 minutes.
  
• Destroyed an alien fleet trying to stop the engines on one ship. Oops. Managed to steal a heavily damaged cruiser, though.
  

Key Developments

• Starter hoard.
  
• Magic Tutor
  
• First teleport
  
• The Serpent becomes a Dragon
  
• Magic Lessons
  
• Learning the Craft Arms and Armor Feat
  
• Accepting what she is
  
• Offers to assassinate Hitler for Stellaris, who calls it off.
  
• Starts learning under Helena
  
• Fourth Birthday
  
• First date!
  
• First break up.
  

It has been five months since the Japanese release of Berserk Musou and a month since it came to the rest of the world as the dubiously-named Berserk and the Band of the Hawk. What that means is that the lion's share of its sales have been made and--while it will no-doubt experience periodic small bumps during Steam sales (either by itself or as part of "Dynasty Warriors" packages)--the game has effectively made whatever mark it will leave on the video game landscape.
I should stress that this is not a review of the game itself, but a look at how it performed. The Musou/Warriors game formula is very polarizing, with people who love the mindless hack-and-slash fun on one side and people bored of the repetitive gameplay and lack of narrative focus on the other. You either know where you stand already or will have to play one of the games to decide for yourself. Either way, and the Band of the Hawk isn't going to change a statistically significant number of minds vis-à-vis their feelings about the subgenre.
But on to the game's commercial performance.
Of course, the video game industry is notorious for guarding their sales figures closely (unless they're major successes), but there are still resources available for us to look at.
VGChartz puts the global sales for the PS4/PSVita incarnations of the series at around 100,000. SteamSpy adds another 19,000 to 23,000 for PC sales via steam. Unfortunately, PS3 sales figures don't seem available, but based on VGChartz information about PS3 vs PS4 ownership in Japan, it is probably a safe bet that the PS4 version--which globally sold about 70,000 units on its own--performed better than the PS3 version.
Taken all together, that gives us a range of sales that bottoms out at around 150,000 units, up to maybe 200,000 units at the most optimistic. For the purposes of comparison, I'll split the difference and go with 175,000 units sold worldwide on the PS3, PS4, PSVita, and PC.
If we make the (unreasonable) assumption that every copy was purchased at North American retail price, that would mean that the base game grossed around $10,000,000. DLC is another matter entirely, but I have no way of determining how well or poorly that sold. My gut says that the more niche a game is, the more dedicated its fanbase has to be to shell out $60, and, so, the more likely they are to purchase the DLC...but since I can't find anything concrete in that regard, it won't factor into this analysis.
So where does all of that put us in the broader scope of the Musou series as a whole?
Well, as of 2015, the series has sold about 22 million copies in Japan alone, with global estimates in the neighborhood of 35 million copies spread across 74 games. In the two years since this data was compiled, they also added their Arslan game.
So 35 million is sales across 75 games tells us that a Musou game averages about 460,000 sales per title. Of course, as anyone who works with statistics can tell you, averages have the potential to be pretty misleading, as is the case here. We can see from a breakdown of the Japanese sales figures that this series seems to be made up of games that push huge numbers and then smaller, niche products that don't gain nearly the same amount of traction.
Remembering that Berserk moved 52,000 copies in Japan, that means it performed better than Legends of Troy's 30,000 units, but lost to Hyrule Warriors and Arslan: The Warriors of Legend's 60,000 units in Japan.
Unfortunately, as soon as we look at any game that spawned a sequel, the prognosis becomes even more grim. Without having yet developed any cachet to the name and all the way back on the PS1, even the original Dynasty Warriors had nearly double the Japanese sales of Berserk, while all of the other series-starters--Samurai Warriors, Warriors Orochi, Dynasty Warriors Gundam, Fist of the North Star: Ken's Rage, and One Piece Pirate Warriors--outsold Berserk twelve to twenty times over.
The only "series" games that Berserk manages to beat are the oddballs, like the Dynasty Warriors Online titles, a few of the handheld iterations, and some of the specials and re-releases.
So what does all that mean? Well, looking at the history of the Musou series, the first thing that should be obvious is that we will not be getting a sequel. This will likely go down in history as a one-off trial or passion-project, which performed adequately, but not well enough to carry a series on its own. Whether it was due to the game's quality, Berserk being too niche of a series, or just a lack of overlap between fans of the manga and fans of the Musou-style games, Berserk and the Band of the Hawk was ultimately not well-received enough to be anything more than a brief experiment, and we will likely never see a follow-up.
PS - I did the best I could with the facts and figures I was able to dig up online. If you have access to information that contravenes what I have here, by all means, let me know and I will update anything I may have written in error.

Every day I see preorder horror stories & how pre orders are cancelled for BS reasons.
"My account info was messed up." "They cancelled my order bc they over preordered" "Someone literally hacked in my account and manually cancelled the pre order."
Some sick shit is going on, and my heart aches every time I see it happening. Let's all have a prayer circle to stop any remaining pre orders to be killed. Even if you preordered in store, or a loved one was badass enough to surprise you with a physical in-store pre order while you spent all day online trying to find one, or just can't relate--the more switch players, the better.
Hhnnnnnnnnnnnnngggghhhh

My first time getting seriously accused of hacking!
A bit of background: I'm an okay player. Terrible start, broadside potato for 1000+ games before I found YouTube videos, Reddit etc.
So I just had a game in the Fujin with my 17 point CE captain. I went into the cap and went towards a little island. I spotted the enemy Farragut on other side of island but I was not spotted, I could also see their Omaha. I sent torps at the Omaha, the Farragut came round the island straight into the torps and then the rest of the torps hit the Omaha. I was super lucky! Then I got accused of being a hacker, "invisible ship" "I'm going to report you" "You will be banned tomorrow, I recorded the match" and most amusingly I have "ghost torpedoes" apparently. I went on to have a really good match, 17 torp hits, 4 caps, 4 kills, 151k damage but we STILL LOST. Still the salt was very funny. Thanks to the members of the opposition team that stood up for me and told the accusers how silly they are.
http://i423.photobucket.com/albums/pp314/bigbramble/shot-16.12.28_18.25.08-0097%20-%20Copy_zpszopdgzhk.jpg
http://i423.photobucket.com/albums/pp314/bigbramble/shot-16.12.28_18.14.51-0996_zpsdiyzdv0i.jpg
http://i423.photobucket.com/albums/pp314/bigbramble/shot-16.12.28_18.24.59-0623%20-%20Copy_zpsjyuhpqec.jpg