Long story short, a wind storm removed a handful of sections of tin roof allowing rain to leak into my house, which has ruined my dining room and belongings. For back story, it appears as if the dining room was an addition to the original blueprint of the house at some point long before I bought it.
When the contractors were gutting the room, they came across a litany of things not up to current code. A third party engineer came out and inspected it, giving a detailed list of things not up to code/require further inspection.
Direct list of things from the engineer’s report “We observed the following: -The addition framing does not match typical IRC framing methods. Permit research of the property did not show any permits for this type of work. -No hurricane ties are present at the roof rafter bearing. -The exterior wood studs are not continuous to the sill plate and the sill plate is stacked with gaps and offsets. Improper load path at wall framing. -The sill plates are not mechanically fastened to the foundation walls. Additionally, they do not match typical IRC detailing. -The floor joists rest directly on soil. The joists and sheathing are rotting from the top down. -The joists are not mechanically fastened to the foundation wall. -The foundation walls are ungrouted -The following architectural/MEP items were noted: -No apparent vapor barrier below the joists -Not adequate crawl space depth, per IRC code -No crawl space venting, appeared to be damp conditions below floor system -Floor and wall finishes appeared compromised due to the inability of proper air flow. -Unclear how the roof would be vented – if unvented, improper insulation techniques utilized -The roof slopes and roof intersections between them, as well as at the chimney, present inadequate water paths for drainage -Juncture of asphalt roofing to metal roofing is missing a high/low transition strip, therefore relying on adhesive sealants – prone to failure”
I have Law and ordinance (code upgrades) in my policy up to $40K, but my adjuster stated that they won’t cover any of the upgrades to things such as the improper foundation or framing since “they were not directly damaged from the peril” and instead currently plan on just covering the costs of redoing the drywall, flooring, and subfloor.
Perhaps I’m mistaken, but isn’t this exactly what code upgrades are for? If not in this specific instance, then when exactly are they used? I’m genuinely curious, because section 3 below makes me feel as if I’m entitled to utilize that portion of the policy given that I pay for it. The following text is directly from my insurance policy, specifically the law and ordinance subsection.
“Ordinance Or Law Coverage- If a loss by a PERIL WE INSURE AGAINST occurs to covered property, or the building containing the covered property, "we" will pay for the increased costs incurred due to the enforcement of any ordinance or law that is in force at the time of the loss. The maximum amount "we" will pay in any one loss is the amount shown on the "Declarations.” Payment is in addition to the amount of insurance applying to the loss.
"You" may use this coverage for: 1. the construction, demolition, renovation or repair of the portion of the building damaged by a PERIL WE INSURE AGAINST; 2. the demolition and reconstruction of the undamaged portion of the building if the entire building must be demolished because of damage by a PERIL WE INSURE AGAINST: 3. the removal or replacement of the undamaged portion of the building because of the repair or replacement of the portion of the building damaged by a PERIL WE INSURE AGAINST; 4. or the removal of debris resulting from the construction, demolition, renovation, repair or replacement of Item 1. 2. or 3.
Ordinance Or Law Coverage does not include coverage for: -loss in value to any covered building due to the requirements of any ordinance or law; or -the cost to comply with any ordinance or law requiring the testing, monitoring, cleaning up, removing, containing, treating, detoxifying, neutralizing, responding to or assessing the effects of any solid, liquid, gaseous or thermal irritant, pollutant or contaminant in or on any covered building.”
Will somebody please help me break down exactly what that all means? Am I just being strong armed by my adjuster in order to keep the total claim amount low, or am I truly the one that has to foot the bill on those things?
Thank you in advance, kind experts of the Redditverse <3

Hi all, I've never posted on this sub let alone reddit before but I'm constantly on here reading others posts and I’d like a diverse perspective about my situation and what others would do in my position. I'm also posting in some other subs to see if opinions change based on the demographic. That being said, let's get into this story.
First I(26) want to say that I'm very close to both my dad(late 60’s) and grandfather(early 90’s). They both have spent their lives farming. When they were my age they would farm in the summer and drive trucks and log in the winter. I have spent my summers farming with them and winters I’ve worked different jobs including construction, plumbing and more recently I got a degree in machining. Though that didn't last long as both my boss and the in-house engineers all said I was too smart to be machining and should go back to school for engineering. I took this to heart and started going to school for civil engineering as I feel it would bring the most satisfaction in terms of work product and the added flexibility of where I want to live and work. I’ve been going to a local community college for the last two years which has allowed me to continue helping on the farm whenever needed. This coming semester I will have to leave for a university about 4 hours away meaning I won't be able to help on the farm. I'm very blessed in that both my dad and grandfather are very supportive of me going into engineering and have even offered money to help with school but luckily though part time work and scholarships I haven’t needed to accept it.
Here's my dilemma, even though they are very supportive I can't stop myself from feeling guilty for leaving the farm and leaving my almost 70 year old dad and 90 year old grandfather to continue farming by themselves. They’ve been able to manage it before, like last summer when I had an internship and only was able to help 3-4 hours in the evenings, but they barely seemed to get all the work done. Seeing my grandfather work in the field from 8am to 9pm during the summer just doesn't seem fair while I sit in an office job. A side note my grandfather is an amazing self taught welder that still does most of our welding unless it's in a more awkward spot he can't get to, in which case he basically coaches me through the process. My grandfather will never retire, he even told me when I asked that if he retired he might as well just die because what else would he do. My father is the same way and would never want to sell the business or land which is something I also would never want to do. I feel bad letting multiple generations or experience and time in a business disappear so I can go do something I would like to do. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy farming. I just see more stability in having a more stable 9-5 job with health insurance and paid time off.
This dilemma is not new to me, it's been in my head eversense since highschool. When the guidance counselors would ask me what I wanted to do after school I always had ideas of things I’d really enjoy but always felt somewhat obligated to stay and work the family farm. Especially because I’m an only child and the only relative that could feasibly take over the farm. The farm is also not a corporation that could afford to hire someone and give benefits like health insurance and a 401k which seems like the minimum to be able to hire someone outside of family. It's not a new dilemma but recently it's really started to get to me with the moving further away from home and my father having to go to the ER twice this month from hurting his wrist falling out of a tractor and another health issue that required surgery. It just really makes me realize that he is getting older and could use more help around the farm. Though he fully supports me, he has asked before if something did happen to him if I would take over the farm and continue the business. I told him yes and do fully believe I would, which makes me question why I wouldn’t be trying to learn as much from him now as possible so when the day comes he does pass away I’m more prepared to take over.
Here's my question for all of you, what would you do in my situation? Or has anyone known someone in a similar situation and how did they go about things? I've considered going back to machining because I think it would be a more useful skill on the farm and then taking some welding classes at the community college. But I’ve also thought about finishing engineering and seeing if it would be possible to work full time in the winter and part time or take summers off to farm. I know the latter part is very unlikely but I wanted to see if anyone has seen a similar set up with their work before.
I also wanted to add that even though the farm doesn't make enough to hire someone full time, if I stayed and farmed I would be able to make a comfortable income as I would have a percent ownership in the business. Especially if I was able to work somewhere else during the winter to supplement it.

Please take it easy on me this is my first ever post 😅
For some background: Basically I’m 20M, recently I’ve played USL2 and played in college. I’m from the US as well
Now for the context: I was going to college far away from home to play footy. I recently transferred back home where I do school online. I left because I was depressed because I wasn’t getting good minutes. Before some of you say something like I should just get better, I promise you I was performing. I had 3 goals in about 120 minutes (this remained the best goals to minutes ratio for the whole team all season) at the beginning of the season and then got permanently benched after that.
In between transferring I had a pro trial (US 3rd division), and I got some interest. However, I didn’t get signed due to them not being able to house me. But I learned that I am definitely at the level athletically and technically.
So now I’m home and playing for a UPSL team with a bunch of guys that play at the local colleges and I’ve been getting decent minutes.
The problem is, I dominate here sometimes but not nearly as much as I should. I also think it is due to the fact that I just have not been enjoying footy. When I score and get starts, it feels right but I can’t say it’s that much “fun” as it used to. And maybe it’s because I’m numb to it because I’ve performed at higher levels so I don’t get the same rush. But the environment at the moment is also very toxic so that probably cuts off much room for enjoyment.
A thought I have been having at the moment is that I feel even at the pro level these really hard moments are the reality of it all, probably even more so, and through it all you’re always on your own to deal with it. And I don’t know if that’s the reality I want to live through. Yes, I love footy more than anything and it’s all I have wanted to do for the past 9 years which makes this all really tough. But I just haven’t had the passion to wake up every morning with the mindset to train to push for the next level. It’s scary that this is what I’ve wanted for what seems like forever and now that I’m closer than ever and it’s in arms reach, I’m questioning if I want it anymore. I just don’t know how I can convince pro teams that they want me if I don’t know if I want them.
Sorry it’s a lot. Please ask questions because there’s still a lot that went unsaid and I know there’s probably gaps and stuff that doesn’t fully connect or make sense.
I also have started sprinting. I ran a 2.12 20 yd 4.20 40 yd and 10.81 100m all laser timed. And right now my mind is fogged with the possibility that I may have more potential there than with soccer. But I feel to cut off soccer when I feel so close and am still young would be naive

Did you know that your furry friend can detect when you’re feeling stressed? That’s right! Dogs have an incredible sense of smell that goes far beyond what humans can perceive, and they can pick up on the chemical changes in your body when you’re under stress.

How Do Dogs Detect Stress?

Dogs have up to 300 million olfactory receptors in their noses, compared to about 6 million in humans. This powerful sense of smell allows them to detect minute chemical changes in our bodies. When we experience stress, our bodies release a variety of hormones and chemicals, including cortisol. Dogs can smell these changes and can often tell when something is off with their human companions.

The Science Behind It

Several studies have shown that dogs can be trained to recognize the scent of stress. For instance, a study conducted by researchers at Queen’s University Belfast found that dogs could accurately detect sweat and breath samples from people who were stressed. The dogs were able to distinguish between samples taken from individuals before and after they performed a stressful task.

Why Does This Matter?

Understanding that dogs can smell stress has important implications. For one, it highlights the deep bond between humans and dogs. Your dog’s ability to sense your stress can strengthen the connection you share, as they often respond with comforting behaviors, such as cuddling or licking, when they sense you’re not feeling your best.
Additionally, this ability can be incredibly beneficial for service dogs, especially those working with people who have anxiety disorders or PTSD. These dogs can be trained to alert their handlers to rising stress levels, potentially preventing panic attacks or other stress-related incidents.

How Your Dog Might React

When dogs detect stress in their owners, their reactions can vary. Some common behaviors include:

• Increased Attention: They may stick close to you, follow you around the house, or rest their head on your lap.
• Physical Comfort: Dogs might nuzzle, lick, or lean against you in an attempt to provide comfort.
• Alertness: Some dogs become more vigilant, keeping an eye on their surroundings to protect you from perceived threats.

Helping Your Dog Help You

To make the most of your dog’s natural abilities, it’s important to maintain a strong, positive relationship with them. Here are some tips to help:

• Training: Basic obedience training can improve communication between you and your dog, making it easier for them to understand and respond to your needs.
• Quality Time: Spend time bonding with your dog through play, walks, and grooming. This strengthens your relationship and helps your dog learn more about your normal behavior.
• Routine: Dogs thrive on routine. Keeping a consistent schedule for feeding, walks, and playtime can reduce stress for both you and your dog.

Your dog’s ability to smell when you’re stressed is just another example of their incredible abilities and the special bond they share with humans. By understanding and appreciating this unique skill, you can enhance your relationship with your furry friend and benefit from their natural empathy and support. So, next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, remember that your dog knows and is there to help you through it!

I matched with a guy on Hinge and he asked me out almost immediately. I could tell based on that and how he'd take 1-2 days to reply sometimes, even after exchanging numbers, that he wasn't much of a texter, which I didn't see an issue with. We got drinks at a bar of my choice on Thursday. He seemed nervous at first, not making eye contact and fidgeting a bit. He also said he had a drink before meeting me, which I assume was for calming down nerves. I still felt we were making pretty good conversation though, we had some things in common and were laughing. I think because of that and having a few drinks, he became more confident. When we were walking outside, he put his arm around my waist. Since there wasn't anything else to do, he said we could either have more drinks at his place (he recently got into making cocktails) or we call it a night. As a rule I never go back to new guys' places so I decided to call an uber home, which he seemed fine with. He waited with me, kissed me goodbye when the uber came, and told me to text him when I got home. I did that and he replied he was happy I made it home safe, then followed up with "I had a lot of fun tonight, would love to see you again next week." I said "same here! are you free Thursday?" and he replied yes and asked what I would like to do. I replied I didn't have anything particular in mind but was down for dinner or an activity. I sent that just after midnight and was notified his phone was now on dnd. I figured he was going to bed and would reply the next day (Friday). He has read receipts on and he didn't even open our chat for the entire long weekend. After talking with friends, I decided to text him this afternoon asking if he had any ideas on what to do. It's been 8 hours since I sent that and he still hasn't "read" it. Given his previous response times, those 8 hours don't necessarily mean anything but I'm not expecting a response anymore.
I've never been ghosted before and am so confused. This hasn't happened much, but whenever a guy didn't want to go on a 2nd date, he'd just not mention it. I also felt it would be clear during the date he wasn't really feeling me even if it was a pleasant time. This guy was willing to extend our date, kissed me goodbye, and asked me out again right after, only to stop replying in the middle of planning. I just don't get why he'd do all that. It's extra surprising too because he really didn't seem like the player type.

I'm gonna be wierd for this one but just riding a cruiser skateboard around town and soaking in the cities around me and truly ingesting the boundaries, tiny corners, bridges all of the different people , the families, the kids, the bums, the hard workers, the dating couples, the aged citizens, you can do alot of people watching just by skateboarding through a town or two. I like to look at how the different housing and business and utility sectors are placed, where the urban decay and ghettos are where the secluded rich ivory houses are....makes you analyze how it's all connected and just cruising around town on wide rubber wheels decreases chances of a falling on a small stone, take a toke off a penjamin, skateboard right past a speeding car unable to see me, near death experience everry day type shi. Today I skated past a mansion and there was a lady with shorts and a phat ass watering the lawn, something about that image gave me hope🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

I’m having sad moments about my dad
I know I need therapy and I’m working on starting it again but the meantime I just have my sad moments about my dad and our relationship, recently.
Maybe you can get a sense of what I mean if you look at my profile.
But I just read all our Facebook messages (not many) dating back when I moved out in 2018. I just want to share them with someone and get your feedback on what he says. I really don’t know how to feel about it except some things he says makes me angry and some things make me “soft” and feel like a child again wanting support and praise and love.
Idk. I’m having a really hard time navigating this, especially with Father’s Day coming around.

Hey everyone just a simple question as I am about to host an event soon. I (24M) like to host functions at my house. When the summer and special occasions is around I invite 30-70 people who all around my age with a few tiny bit older and normally send an invite in advance(most people 1-3 week notice and the close friends a month in advance). Only three times out of probably 30+ parties I host that I invite 20+ people, I have more than 50% show up. I make a rule for myself if they keep telling me maybe for three events in a row and don't show up I will just don't invite them aswell 90% won't invite again if they just keep my message on read. However, I constantly get those maybes or I will let you know text with rarely a follow up. I normally like a yes or a no as it be easier to track, I normally buy all the drinks and snacks. I do want to see how much things I need to buy to be a good amount without over boarding.
Should I reach out to people that say maybes in the past 2-3 weeks ago to confirm for a head count or should go by my own rule/your own(the reader's) advice?

The defense and the prosecution today made their closing statements in the New York criminal case against Trump for falsifying business records to hide a $130,000 payment to adult film actress Stephanie Clifford, also known as Stormy Daniels. The payment was intended to stop her account of her sexual encounter with Trump from becoming public in the days before the 2016 election, when the Trump campaign was already reeling from the Access Hollywood tape showing Trump boasting of sexual assault.
The Biden-Harris campaign showed up at the trial today with veteran actor Robert DeNiro and former police officers Michael Fanone and Harry Dunn, who protected the U.S. Capitol and members of Congress from rioters on January 6, 2021. In words seemingly calculated to get under Trump’s skin, DeNiro said, “We New Yorkers used to tolerate him when he was just another grubby real estate hustler masquerading as a big shot,” and called him a coward.
When Robert Costa of CBS News asked campaign spokesperson Michael Tyler why they had shown up at the trial, Tyler answered: “Because you all are here. You’ve been incessantly covering this day in and day out, and we want to remind the American people ahead of the…first debate on June 27 of the unique, persistent, and growing threat that Donald Trump poses to the American people and to our democracy. So since you all are here, we’re here communicating that message.”
Yesterday, in remarks at Arlington National Cemetery in observance of Memorial Day, President Joe Biden honored “the sacrifice of the hundreds of thousands of women and men who’ve given their lives for this nation. Each one…a link in the chain of honor stretching back to our founding days. Each one bound by common commitment—not to a place, not to a person, not to a President, but to an idea unlike any idea in human history: the idea of the United States of America.”
“[F]reedom has never been guaranteed,” Biden said. “Every generation has to earn it; fight for it; defend it in battle between autocracy and democracy, between the greed of a few and the rights of many…. And just as our fallen heroes have kept the ultimate faith with our country and our democracy, we must keep faith with them,” he said.
His speech at Arlington echoed the message he delivered to this year’s graduating class at the United States Military Academy at West Point, where he urged the graduates to hold fast to their oaths. “On your very first day at West Point, you raised your right hands and took an oath—not to a political party, not to a president, but to the Constitution of the United States of America—against all enemies, foreign and domestic,” he said to applause. Soldiers “have given their lives for that Constitution. They have fought to defend the freedoms that it protects: the right to vote, the right to worship, the right to raise your voice in protest. They have saved and sacrificed to ensure, as President Lincoln said, a ‘government of the people, by the people, and for the people shall not perish from the Earth.’”
“[N]othing is guaranteed about our democracy in America. Every generation has an obligation to defend it, to protect it, to preserve it, to choose it,” he said. “Now, it’s your turn.” Biden spent more than an hour saluting and shaking the hand of each graduate.
In contrast, Trump ushered in Memorial Day with a post on his social media company, saying: “Happy Memorial Day to All, including the Human Scum that is working so hard to destroy our Once Great Country, & to the Radical Left, Trump Hating Federal Judge in New York that presided over, get this, TWO separate trials, that awarded a woman, who I never met before (a quick handshake at a celebrity event, 25 years ago, doesn’t count!), 91 MILLION DOLLARS for “DEFAMATION.” He then continued to attack E. Jean Carroll, the writer who successfully sued him for defamation, before turning to attack Judge Arthur Engoron, who presided over the civil case of Trump and the Trump Organization falsifying documents, and Judge Juan Merchan, who is presiding over the current criminal case in New York.
The message behind this extraordinary post was twofold: Trump can think of nothing but himself…and he appears to be terrified.
On Saturday, May 25, Trump had an experience quite different from his usual reception at rallies of hand-picked supporters. He was resoundingly booed at the national convention of the Libertarian Party in Washington, D.C., where Secret Service agents confiscated squeaky rubber chickens before his speech. Attendees jeered Trump’s order, “You have to combine with us,” even when he reminded them of his libertarian credentials—tax cuts and defunding of federal equality programs—and promised to pardon the January 6 rioters who attacked the U.S. Capitol.
Trump also promised to pardon Ross Ulbricht, who founded and from January 2011 to October 2013 ran an online criminal marketplace called Silk Road, where more than $200 million in illegal drugs and other illicit goods and services, such as computer hacking, were bought and sold. Most of the sales were of drugs, with the Silk Road home page listing nearly 13,000 options, including heroin, cocaine, ecstasy, and LSD. The wares were linked to at least six deaths from overdose around the world. In May 2015, Ulbricht was sentenced to life in prison and was ordered to forfeit more than $180 million.
Libertarians want Ulbricht released because they support drug legalization on the grounds that people should be able to make their own choices and they see Ulbricht’s sentence as government overreach. Trump has repeatedly called for the death penalty for drug dealers, making his promise to pardon Ulbricht an illustration of just how badly he thinks he needs the support of Libertarian voters. But they refused to endorse him.
Trump appeared angry, and on Sunday, as Greg Sargent reported in The New Republic, he reposted a video of a man raging at MSNBC host Joe Scarborough. In it, the man says that when Trump is reelected: “He’ll get rid of all you f*cking liberals. You liberals are gone when he f*cking wins. You f*cking blowjob liberals are done. Uncle Donnie’s gonna take this election—landslide. Landslide, you f*cking half a blowjob. Landslide. Get the f*ck out of here, you scumbag.”
Trump’s elevation of this video, Sargent notes, is a dangerous escalation of his already violent rhetoric, and yet it has gotten very little media attention.
Last November, Matt Gertz of Media Matters reported that ABC News, CBS News, and NBC News provided 18 times more coverage of 2016 Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton’s comment at a fundraising event that “you could put half of Trump’s supporters into what I call the basket of deplorables” who are “racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamophobic,” than they provided of Trump’s November 2023 promise to “root out the communist, Marxist, fascist and the radical left thugs that live like vermin within the confines of our country.”
CNN, the Fox News Channel, and MSNBC mentioned the “deplorables” comment nearly 9 times more than Trump’s “vermin” language. The ratio for the five highest-circulating U.S. newspapers was 29:1.
Clinton’s statement was consistent with polling, and she added that the rest of Trump’s supporters were “people who feel that the government has let them down, the economy has let them down, nobody cares about them, nobody worries about what happens to their lives and their futures, and they’re just desperate for change.” She said: “Those are people we have to understand and empathize with as well.”
Sargent noted that news stories require context and that Trump’s elevation of the violent video should be placed alongside his many threats to prosecute his enemies. While there is often concern over disrespect toward right-wing voters, Sargent writes, there has been very little attention to the presumptive Republican presidential nominee’s posting of “a video that declares a large ideological subgroup of Americans ‘done’ and ‘gone’ if he is elected.”
Scott MacFarlane of CBS News reported yesterday that Republicans have ignored a law passed in March 2022 requiring the placement of a small plaque honoring police officers who protected the U.S. Capitol and the lawmakers and staffers there on January 6, 2021. It was supposed to be in place by March 2023 but has not gone up. A spokesperson for House speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) says his office is working on it. Kayla Tausche of CNN reported today that three of the police officers at the Capitol that day—Sergeant Aquilino Gonell and Officer Harry Dunn, both retired, and Officer Daniel Hodges, who is still with the Washington, D.C., metropolitan police—will be traveling to swing states for the Biden campaign to tell voters that Trump threatens Americans’ fundamental rights.
Finally, today, Melinda French Gates, co-founder of the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, announced $1 billion in new spending over the next two years “for people and organizations working on behalf of women and families around the world, including on reproductive rights in the United States.” Only 2% of charitable giving in the U.S. goes to these organizations, she wrote the New York Times, and “[f]or too long, a lack of money has forced organizations fighting for women's rights into a defensive posture while the enemies of progress play offense. I want to help even the match.”
—
Notes:
https://www.politico.com/news/2024/05/26/libertarians-reject-trump-rfk-chase-oliver-presidential-nominee-00160040
https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/speeches-remarks/2024/05/27/remarks-by-president-biden-at-the-156th-national-memorial-day-observance-arlington-va/
https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/speeches-remarks/2024/05/25/remarks-by-president-biden-in-commencement-address-to-the-united-states-military-academy-at-west-point-west-point-ny/
https://newrepublic.com/article/181973/trump-media-attacks-media-dangerous-turn
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/congress-fails-to-install-plaque-honoring-jan-6-police-officers/
https://www.cnn.com/2024/05/28/politics/biden-campaign-january-6-officers/index.html
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c722qy5dzlgo
https://www.politico.com/news/2024/05/25/trump-commute-ross-ulbricht-sentence-libertarian-convention-00160025
https://www.ice.gov/news/releases/ross-ulbricht-aka-dread-pirate-roberts-sentenced-life-federal-prison-creating
https://www.businessinsider.com/trump-is-spotlighting-ross-ulbricht-silk-road-appeal-to-libertarians-2024
https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/4305566-trump-doubles-down-death-penalty-for-drug-dealers/
https://www.mediamatters.org/donald-trump/major-news-outlets-gave-much-less-coverage-trumps-vermin-attack-then-they-did-clintons
https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/4687060-donald-trump-squeaky-chicken-libertarian-controversy/
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/28/opinion/melinda-french-gates-reproductive-rights.html
The Dworkin ReportDe Niro and Jan 6 Heroes Unload on Trump Outside NY TrialRobert De Niro just showed up outside the New York City courthouse, where Trump is facing 34 felony counts. Rightwing lunatics are already trying to start conspiracy theories lying and saying that thi…Read more8 hours ago · 765 likes · 132 comments · Scott Dworkin
X:
BidenHQ/status/1795469679542100005
costareports/status/1795484830349852855
adamkinzingestatus/1795111150494826743
BidenHQ/status/1795468053993357493

2 years in I found out about her 1.5 year affair with a married coworker. She has put a knives to my kidneys, thrown any and everything she can lift at me, including die cast 1/24 scale cars, 32 Oz insulated tumblers, her salt lamp that weighs approximately 5lbs, hit me with anything close by, you name it. But only when I call her out on the infidelities, yes multiple, i stopped counting at around 5. I've left multiple times, but the trauma bond and guilt trips have pulled me back in every time. I have a strained relationship with my one and only son(another story) and have barely gotten to see him since he was 8-9. He will be 16 in October. My Narc was fully aware of this and all the details and was super supportive to the extent of saying you can raise my son(because his father is rarely around) so I have been. He's 9 now and we're super close, this is now her leverage....she likes to remind me that he has no one because she knows it rips my heart apart. The cheating hasn't stopped. Shes alienated me from friends and family. When she found out I had been tested for STDs she was enraged, and all hell breaks loose and she says her goto reply over the last year and it's this (I've been good to you for 2 years) regardless of the times I have been told by friends/family, caught her, found undeniable proof. I have foolishly tried so hard to be what I though she wanted, good as I knew how to be, chivalrous, supportive, provided for her and the children, bought her another car when hers quit, bought gifts,took to raising both her children as my own, paid 2/3 of the living expense the duration because I earn slightly more. The list goes on and on. I can catch her lying about something everyday if I tried(became too disheartening, so I stopped) I have secured yet another place to stay(she knows nothing about it or where it is) so I can start over. I have tried to leave several times the past 6 months and she starts screaming and shoving me, will corner me in our bedroom and you guessed it, throw things at me while telling me what POS I am for wanting to leave. I can't touch her to subdue her because she is overweight and has health issues and she bruises like a ripe pear. The times I have she immediately screams abuse and threatens to have me arrested so again i submit. It's a tricky situation to escape from because we have cameras inside she works 2 blocks from our house and will zoom back here before I can get my property( basically what's left of my life's belongings which is about 2 truckloads at this point thanks in large part to her) and start the screaming,cussing, and destruction she has pulled the 72 hour DV hold in our county twice. She has her children lie for her as well. Sadly this is all they know. They beg her to stop when the screaming starts but she doesn't. They are merely tools/leverage to her. She alienated her son. I recently found out that her younger sister is actually her 1st child she had at 16 and her mother raises. Now I have been getting my property into 3 different places in the house so i can circle back after she leaves for work and hopefully get loaded and gone before she realizes. I have begged her to let me go, even offering to pay my part of everything for 3 months after I'm gone. She won't take it. The thing is I know she will lose the house without my income, rendering her kids homeless, but I can't take anymore, thinking about this consumes my day, I'm distracted by it. Depressed from it, etc. Am I wrong for leaving knowing she can't make it on her own?? Sorry for this being so long, also my bad grammar. Any and all advice welcome and appreciated.

Please bare with me as this will be a long one, it's my first ever post on reddit.
TW of child loss.
I (32f) my FH (35m) are getting married august this year. We live in Australia in a different state to both sides of our family. As we thought instead of picking between the two states we are from, we will have it where we are now.
History as I know all you lot love the background stories. We met in 2019, through tinder(in the state we currently both are atm). It was love at first sight for me. I already had a son who in 2019 was 8yo. My son adorned my partner, he would talk about future siblings and us getting married. Which led my partner n I picking wedding songs and talking about marriage. In 2021 my partner n I were a bit rocky. But my world came crashing apart when I got a phone call my son passed in a car crash. I flew back to my home state and well as you can imagine I was a mess. My family which I hadn't spoken to in 4 years due to being accused for something I did not do. They found out I didn't. But long story short I was in the head space to nit pick. My sons funeral happened and well I just got left by all my siblings to do the clean up my self while they went to the after do. I missed it. I'm only one person and I got blamed and made to feel like crap for it. And a lot other shit. In other words three of my siblings are arseholes. If they dont get their way. My sister we'll call her Petal(24), brothers Steve (31) n Bob (27).
My partner n I always stayed in contact but we spilt as he was still in the state we met. His boss wouldn't let him take time off etc. In the beginning 2023 I came back to the state to organise my sons stuff. Realising this man kept everything of his and mine in the same spot. He still looked after my cat n dog after all that time also. We rekindled and both realised the flame was always still there for each other. So by September last year we were ready to move forward with life as short as it is announce to our family's save the dates. Via Txt as we both have huge families, we would save the money this way.
A few weeks go by. I get a phone call from Steve. (Whom I havent spoken to since before coming up here as I had enough of always being cancelled on or never picking up my calls or barely responding to my texts) So I was like why am I getting a call. Turns out I just got questions after questions... well statements 'you never asked me to move' 'mum will be staying with me not you on your wedding' 'im not babysitting joey' youngest brother 12yo we I stated he would be other brother Dale (second youngest 21- they are all my siblings from my mother's side) as they are always together when Dale visits. I just focused on the positive. I knew he was wanting me to bite. Then when I was explaining joey would be walking behind my nieces with my sons photo Steve interrupted when are you getting married and laughed. He then said no, His daughter wasn't going to be wearing a dress she'll be wearing the same as her dad... and laughed. at the beginning of his save the date I put 'Aunty would love niece to be a flower girl if she would like' Remember no contact since this phone call at all. So I thought he was joking as he laughed. He then started repeating she was wearing the same as him. He also asked why would joey be following them and as I was explaining what I was thinking as my son would've wanted his cousins up there with him. I got cut off. I just planned all this and I said no I asked and you never responded. You never said no even when I spoke about the dresses. Apparently I just don't know what no sounds like and I've not changed and she is HIS flower girl for when him and his partner get married. I understand wanting your child to be apart of your wedding.... hence why I was trying to do what I know damn sure my boy would have done - to the point if they weren't in the party he would walk up to them n get them to help throw petal down the isle. I was upset. He rambled on and yelled shit at me and hung up when I said well if you didn't want her being a flower girl you could've just said it straight out.
I am still upset but I'm only upset due to he only brought it up when I was talking about what my son would want. If he had a problem with it why didn't he say it before hand. Later mum(51) found out him n his partner were upset I was getting married before them ( they have been engaged since 2021 and no mention of a wedding date) and they didn't want their daughter being someone else's flower girl before hand. Which again I understand so why not say that instead of starting the shit?
The next day Bob decided to tell me he couldn't come to the wedding as he doesn't know what his life would bring him to be doing then 🤦🏼‍♀️
Anyway I start to move forward with wedding planning . I let a friend know, as i was going to ask her to be a Bm. After saying getting married she bloody laughed so hard like i told the most funniest joke ever.... her daughter came in she is still laughing n said ' can you believe they are getting married' while wiping away tears from her eyes she laughed so hard. So I decided not to mention the bm part. She later started telling me what I should do for colours, who the bms should be, that the best man wears something different to the groomsmen. Etc. It was getting out of hand and everytime I mentioned we had decided what we are doing already is was wrong .... until she decided to make a competition with my unaware mother 'she better wear a dress or ill look better then her. Maybe even you' so I cut her out of my social group, my partner still thinks she was just helping. He needs the fog to clear.
I ask my best friend who I have known since 2017 and who was still there for me through the hard time of my son passing and still is to this day. Kel(43f) to be my MOH. My two sisters Petal n Kay(28f on father's side) as bridesmaids. As iTs tHe rIgHt tHiNg to do 🤦🏼‍♀️ at first I thought petal would flake first. If it's not her way she'll make some sort of version (even if it's LIES) that you did her wrong. I picked the dresses they were more then happy to pay for them. $160 ish each(aus). Well Kay went Mia for a few weeks. Then in January this year asked me if the place accepted afterpay. I said I know they accept Kalana or what ever its called. N then she was busting her arse for me to check.... she had the website I asked if she had her flights and accommodation prebooked. Nothing. As I was going to offer to pay for the dress if she was struggling. So I offered for her to come as a guest. 2 weeks NOT A SINGLE WORD. Not answering my calls or texts that wasn't even about the wedding. Its now Feb. I ask my cousin to be a back BM she was more then happy n as I was on the phone to her Kay said ' im getting a job so it'll be all sorted' now Kay is a sister who will take advantage for other people's hand outs. Where we are the closer to august you leave it your looking at 1600 n back minimum. N the week we are getting married not only with it be tourist session but race day also ( we forgot about race day 😅) After explaining this to her she decided with many more weeks in between she'll not come to the wedding at all.
So then it was my BF, petal and cousin.
Two weeks ago I got asked by my fathers (he is a dead beat) sister if he was invited. Long story short, I'm the child he never wanted. He never met my son at all while he was alive and loves to cause drama when it's not about him. He was a junkie when I first met him. So I politely said sorry no he is not and sorry for putting you in this position.
Just up until last week petal flaked. Family drama was happening and I pulled her up on her lies she had put in a group chat. She hadn't spoken to me since May. She would read the wedding chat but not respond. And I found out she had me on mute. Laste week I messaged her on the group chat, our private chat and text her can you aleast let me know whats going on. She came back with ' im not coming nor will I be in your wedding' I thanked her for letting me know. Went in the group chat for the wedding n she had already removed herself. N I blocked her shortly after my mum called. Mum had asked if I had heard from Petal. I told her what happened. Well, mum Being a mum was like 'ill get to the bottom of this' She asked why are you not part of the wedding anymore. My sister turned n said its not of your business. N then said I blocked her from the chat a while ago and I have not once messaged her n I'm mean. Mum caught her out n said she seen her lil picture keep up with the messaged just today etc. N she just banged on how no one understands her. So I blocked her.
I have now asked for my partners Sister to be a bm and she's more then happy to and I paid for her dress straight away so it should arrive to her before she is due to come up.
I found out in April my son will finally be a older brother like he always wanted. This is a miracle baby as I've had a few health problems with my uterus. To the point doctors said I might not even be able to do IVF. My partner n I are over the moon. I am in a a place where I'm happy and upset because my son is not here to witness what he always wanted. We have only told those that have been supportive, mu mum Dale and joey and my Sil.
All the stress of just my family has taken its toll. We have already paid majority of the wedding off and can't elope. I've lost all happiness for our day. I'm scared my father will rock up (he is spiteful like that) n im just deflated. With the add stress of being now 12weeks pregnant and still worried I could lose it at any point.
I have gotten all their jewellery, personalised pjs since Kay was involved. Personalised gifts and im paying for their hair and make up.
Kel my Moh is ready to go on a witch hunt. She's pissed that I have let it all go on for so long. So I'm trying to see if I am in the right or if I am in the wrong.
Am I being the Arsehole ? Bridezilla? Just feels no matter what happens in my life it's not good enough. If anything needs clearing up please let me know. Sorry for the long post. Thankyou in advance And if anyone has any advice ? Thankyou

I'm going to add every ounce of context here that I can, and please, please don't comment at me being harsh or anything about my decision making here.
Previous Context:
I was in a 3 month relationship with a woman and we were both 25 at the time. During this relationship, she was horribly domestically violent. She broke my nose while I was driving, cheated on me, she would send nudes to other guys when she was mad at me, manipulated me and a bunch of other things I don't want to get into at this time. Needless to say, it was bad, dude. I walked into that relationship happy as a clam and walked out so different my parents (who I have never been overly close to) noted a massive change in my demeanour.
Shortly after breaking up, we discovered she was pregnant. For the first month or so, I was completely disassociated, and I couldn't talk to her without getting super super angry at her. I was so panicked by the news of being tethered to her for 18 years. But I eventually got it together, I provided support where I could while she was pregnant, got the nursery furniture, got a good job and worked hard and did all the dad things I was supposed to do.
Around December that year, It was revealed that the person she cheated on me with was a candidate for father as well, which wasn't great to learn, but shortly after the birth, he was ruled out through a paternity test. Which I did not get. So at this point in time, I am still the assumed father.
I didn't meet my son until 12 weeks old, when he was in the hospital for malnutrition and she couldn't stop me from seeing him. That's when child protective services got involved. And were involved for some time. But eventually, deemed that my son was safe and left it alone.
The first 2 years of his life, my ex was volatile. She would bounce between being really nice and hostile. And admittedly, I'd bite back, especially when it was about my son's safety. She was on different drugs and stuff, while I was clean and sober but eventually has stopped that behaviour since and is being a pretty good mum now. I think it must've taken some time for her to adjust, I guess... This whole time though, I haven't been on my son's birth certificate, and she has always held the typical "You're never gonna see him again!" over my head whenever she didn't get her own way. Until she got a restraining order against me for what the police even said are "Dogshit reasons" and then continued to threaten me with the restraining order until she eventually had me arrested, I was able to prove my innocence, thankfully. But she constantly made it difficult to see my son, it was always like I had to pay to see him, she had to benefit from it.
Fast forward to the end of 2022:
Towards the end of 2022, She was barely letting me see him, before I ended up moving back to my home town due to the housing crisis, I had only seen him once in a month. I would call and text, I would email and she would not budge. I didn't see him for 2 months and then got some time with him for Christmas, then again didn't see him for 3 months.
2023:
2023 was a crazy year, I was in a very bad relationship and I was doing my best to have a relationship with my son. I was engaging in mediation and we came to a great agreement. However, shortly after, I was able to visit my son and after that visit, she became very hostile and kept trying to argue with me over trivial things. (Like I wanted to do my own Christmas photos with my son, rather than send her $150 towards hers) I mentioned wanting to do a paternity test on him, for peace of mind and the birth certificate documentation and she said "I'll put you on his birth certificate but I'm not doing all that other bullshit" One August morning, she rung me 76 times in 2 hours over child support (I pay $200 a fortnight privately) and stressed me out and made me panic so much I called the police to make a note of it for any potential family court. The police filed for basic restraining order against her, she could still contact me. AND THEN NOTHING
8 months of nothing. No contact, no replies to emails, nothing.
In that time, I was emailing my intentions to launch family court and everything, and she wouldn't reply. So I did it. I initiated Family Court. And then after the first court date, she rung me, she didn't want to go through family court. She asked for mediation. She let me see my son. It was such a quick change. I didn't back down, I said "This is where we're at, family court" She blames me for the stress she's under cause of Family Court, like I didn't spend months telling her how bad it would be.
For a month, she told me I should move back to the city to spend more time with my son, and I agree'd. But I moved back 2 weeks ago and she rung me on Day 1. and Said she was filing for me to see him 1 day a fortnight or not at all. My dad and my friends have said "Walk away, you can't live in a storm all your life" and want me to move back to my home town. I'm so lost and I don't know what to do. Reddit, any advice?
tdlr; My son's mother just keeps making things difficult with my son.

Why did the farmer drive his tractor to the pharmacy? He wanted to visit the farm-assist!
Hi and welcome to my post! Wanted to start off with a funny to me dad joke.
Nice to meet you, I'm Dylan! To put it simple, I am a single 22 year old person who has been pretty lonely in life and lacking human connection. Any gender is welcome :) part of what comes with that is the desire to be intimate with a person. I am very mature for my age and will always be respectful of your boundaries and feelings, especially with anything sexual. Lately all I have is myself when it comes to sexual desires, so I would like to have someone to keep company with in that regard too. And I've also been fairly horny lately so perhaps if you are too we can help each other.
I'm just relaxing at work tonight as it's a slow day. Thinking about going home and burning a woodwick candle. I love candles! 🕯️ Sometimes a campfire outside on a fall night or a crackling WoodWick candle is a relaxing constant among our busy and hectic world. It's nice to just disconnect, feel grounded and happy in your own little cozy space. Feeling calm and collected and at peace. Something that fewer people take the time to do these days.
I am seeking a woman around my age or older to build a close connection with that could possibly lead to a something intimate which includes the possibility of teasing/sharing pics etc. but only when we were comfortable. Figured I would be open in my Intentions as that's the best way to be.
You:
Kind, respectful, and easy going.
Comfortable with the idea of eventually sharing intimate things together.
Willing to eventually move off of Reddit.
Want something genuine and fun!
Are honest in your intentions and a good person to be around!
That's about it, we will get along great I know it.
I've been feeling a little bummed out lately. I always try and stay happy and see the best in things. But.. I've just been so alone. Most of my whole childhood and adult years have been spent feeling lonely. I grew up surrounded by cornfields which was peaceful but also has a lonely aspect to it. My family never really were close and never did anything as a family really. And part of it too is the fact that I never had any neighbors my age to interact with. But aside from that, my adult life has been very lonely. I'm just always by myself. I barely have any meaningful adult relationships or experiences, or even any friends.
I work a 3-11 job in building maintenance at my company world headquarters building which I love, but again it's very lonely. I work the off shift so the building is always empty. I don't get normal social interaction with people my age or a chance to build relationships. I only have 3 older men as co-workers and we are mostly in the basement away from any people on the floors from knowing our existence. I always walk the floors and see office people laughing and chatting with their coworkers and I just don't have that kind of experience. And just.. no one knows I exist really. Everyone probably assumes I have a lot of friends, but I'm struggling inside with being so alone and trying to meet people and get past the "hi how are you?" "I'm good thanks" stage. Most people don't seem to want to talk beyond that. And most women are already in relationships and thus it would seem weird to approach them in an office setting trying to get to know them deeper. But man those "hi how are yous" are the only real interactions I get during my day.. so thus I decided to come here lol. Rant over, sorry! I promise I'm not a downer. 😅
Now for some things about me!
I am left handed which is pretty cool. I'm not much of a party person or a drinker, I much prefer a quiet night at home and maybe a beer or two on a weekend but that's about it. I am simple and stay out of drama and trouble and don't get much into politics or other things that cause drama with people. I much prefer a relaxing campfire and a night at home and to just let the world keep on turning haha.
Physically I'm 180 pounds, have brown hair, green eyes, and a typical build. There's a few pictures on my profile.
Some of my hobbies are:
• Photography
I have a Nikon D200 and D5500 that I love to shoot with. I love nature scenes, abstract, black and white/goth kinda photography, sunsets, etc. it's so fun to just let your mind explore. It's not about what camera you have, but those who are behind the camera!
• Cooking and baking
I loveeee to cook and bake! I enjoy making various meals but also love to just have a frozen pizza once in awhile or something like that. I recently made homemade chili which turned out great. I love to bake, especially in the fall! I love pies, cakes, pastries, cookies, etc. I restored a vintage KitchenAid mixer that needed tbe gearbox rebuilt. Eventually I would love to practice home canning my own food.
• Music
Oh my gosh, I like so much!! Alternative rock, punk, post punk, electronic, synth pop, psychedelic rock, hard rock, etc. I am very non judgemental and open when it comes to music. My three current favorite bands are Type O Negative, Joy Division, and the Cure.
• Nature walks and camping
I really enjoy camping, making fires, and relaxing by a campfire. I love to take walks outside and just enjoy the beauty and simplicity of nature. It's wonderful, especially in a world so focused on everything digital.
• Repairing things
I'm a maintenance guy and one of my hobbies is electronics repair so I am good with my hands and just all around good at troubleshooting and fixing all sorts of things around the house. Last week I helped my elderly neighbor get his tractor started, it needed a new component in the starting circuit. So I'm pretty handy which... Comes in handy! 😂
• Autumn 🍁
This isn't a hobby per say, but man do I love the fall!!! It's my absolute favorite time of the year. Oh my gosh. The beautiful colors, crisp cool air, misty and foggy days, rain, lack of bugs, being cuddled up with a candle or by the fire drinking a tea, etc. I love it! There's only two seasons for me. Fall, and waiting for fall! Haha.
• Scented Candles and incense
Going along with my love for fall, I absolutely love candles! I have like 30 something lol. 😂 Currently my favorite are WoodWick, which are owned by Yankee candle. They have such a soothing crackle and the scents are great! I also love to burn incense from time to time as well. I have cottagecore hippie vibes.
• Old houses and architecture
I love old houses! Especially 1900s and Victorian era homes. Old homes have so much character to them and are just so beautiful from a time when people took pride in their craft. I strongly dislike the modern cookie cutter cheap construction of homes today. I would love to live in an old home one day. I also love their architecture and uniqueness, as well as architecture of old cathedrals and other buildings.
• Relaxing
Basic I know, but sometimes on the weekend I just love to get cozy in bed and relax and put on a YouTube video or an album! 😊
That's about it for me, I'm a pretty laid back and simple person. My ideal person is someone who is respectful and honest! I am very straightforward and open minded and would hope that you are as well.
If I seem interesting to you at all I would love to hear from you!
Thank you so much for reading.

"Good afternoon Ms. Lopez." I say, warmly greeting an elderly Cuban woman in her sixties. She smiles sweetly at me as she asks me if I am the chef behind today's food, in Spanish. I smile and nod at her, and she excitedly begins to chatter in Spanish, telling me the latest chisme regarding the latest romantic escapades occurring in her son's life.
I lightly place some ham on the sandwich I'm preparing for her as she excitedly gossips with me. I cleverly practice my active listening skills, while occasionally chiming in to let her know that I am actively aware of what she's saying. The woman is one of the last people to arrive during today's meal hour. She seems to operate on a sense of punctuality that is uniquely hers, almost like a force of nature. I almost admire it, if I'm being honest. My fellow volunteers look at me and smile as they sense the passive patience I radiate in this minor interaction.
The day has been one of the more chill ones in the soup kitchen, especially since I started actively championing the place. At our most busy we've served hundreds of families in a single day, and today we've served a few dozen. There's something quite nice about this moment of normalcy. I wonder if I sometimes took this level of mundanity for granted during this jump...
To be fair to myself a part of me is almost acting like I'm guaranteed to send myself to some apocalyptic hellscape and that's just not happening. I'm almost guaranteed to go to a place more dangerous than "9-5; a white-collar simulator", but I'm picking my next destination and after the decade of serenity I've had here I've got no reason to act like a dumbass and jeopardize my odds of long-term success in this career by sending myself to a death trap. Ms. Lopez smiles as she walks away, clearly believing she's shared vital chisme with me. To be fair, she did share gossip plenty of people would find juicy, but since I'm not some gossip I was the wrong audience for her words.
My fellow volunteers look at me and glance at my phone with curious looks. I pick up the thing and see that I've been missing an exhilarating conversation in our group chat. I skim the thing, my perfected memory allowing me to instantly catch up with the conversation the small gaggle of brave volunteers who kindly donate our weekend hours have been having before I begin to text the group back.
The rest of the day passes by in a blur. We wait for the people who've come for a meal to finish their food up and then we get to cleaning. After that we do a few sweeps of the parts of the church we've used before going our separate ways. I make my way home, and I do some light meal-prepping as well as practice a few more of my skills. At this point in my stay I've perfected my routine and could do it in my sleep... If I ever slept that is. In the entire time I've been in this setting I don't believe I've slept once. That is a nice feeling, since it means I never wasted an hour of my time, much less six.
The work week is a bit of a slog, since I am eagerly anticipating the news regarding my final promotion. I was never the sort to believe that time felt longer when you were excited about something, or dreading it, but in the time since I came to this setting I've gradually become a believer in such ideas even if they still feel a bit silly. Nonetheless. I diligently work through the week, keep my team on track, and when Friday rolls around I get the news I've waited for.
Thanks to "Gamer's Mind" I am able to keep my face even as the office's general supervisor explains this news to me and not outwardly express my excitement, but internally I am more excited than I've been about anything since I first entered this world. This news means that I'll be getting right around $3,000 dollars every two weeks just for existing! This means that in future jumps working will be optional unless I get really greedy, which frees me up to decide what I want to do in most modern settings. In medieval settings this amount of money could be even more vital, though at the same time such a thing could just... not matter, since in such a setting I could easily just avoid civilization, but this money will certainly liberate me from a lot of the struggles of wasting vast swathes of a jump at a job I don't want.
At the time that I was being told the good news I almost began to cry. Thank goodness for Gamer's Mind, I guess.
Nine years ago I was down on my luck and down to my last dollars when I got the job offer that led me here and this news means that I am free from such things. The freedom and power that comes with making enough to get by, especially passively, is awe-inspiring, and it's quite difficult for me to find the words to express how excited it makes me feel even days after it. I spend... close to a week passively smiling and being just ambiently happy, as I begin to integrate a new set of responsibilities into my work life.
During this time my decision to fix the coffee machine in the office break-room by hand after it almost burns a colleague results in me getting a new class; "Handyman" and the initial ability I receive is a simple one that bolsters my agility a touch, agility being my attribute tied to fine motor skills. I skillfully use this class to actually fix various things by hand, and I begin to steadily accrue various maintenance skills. In days I gain class levels, and with each class level I am able to repair things faster, more cheaply, and eventually my ability to fix matures into an ability to improve things, which I instinctively know will lead to some shenanigans down the line. Before I know it days have turned into weeks, which age and turn into months. My skills with leadership and motivation have continued to improve and I lead my team with my full focus and skillful decision-making. Before I know it I am in the final leg of the final stretch of my first jump.
I've been here for 119 months. Nine years and eleven months. It's actually been... even longer than that. I'm at the beginning of the final week of my stay here, and my hands idly clean a dish as I passively listen to Pastor Charlie, one of the few guest pastors the church has invited in years deliver a sermon. He has the congregants enraptured and eating out of the palm of his hand as he speaks about a miracle that "Our Lord" once performed. His voice is a pleasant distraction and one of my twin trains of thought listens and takes notes on how the man delivers his sermon. Physically I seem to be engrossed in the man's sermon when someone, one of the church's assistants, taps on my shoulder and gestures for me to walk over to the pastor's office. I stealthy get up, activating "Rogue" and make my way out of the serving area adjacent to the kitchen. I relax a touch when I'm in the long hallway leading me to Tyler's, Pastor Rhodes's, office.
As I walk down the humble hallway I feel a strange sense of finality wash over me. There's something uncommonly... real about this trek. I feel more solid, more whole than I have in a while, and I suspect that it's because this is my last time in this soup kitchen, this church. I won't be returning here, at least not for a while, and that's sad. It's not the saddest thing that's ever happened to me, but it is kind of a bummer and I allow myself to feel a touch of real, genuine sadness at the sobering realization that when I leave this place I'll be leaving for a long time.
I eventually put that thought away, shelving it and compartmentalizing my thoughts so I can focus on better, happier things. My enhanced senses allow me to spot things like faint cracks too thin for normal humans to spot, and as I walk past them I cast my handy spell on them. I watch as the walls of the hallway repair themselves and I smile, sensing the powerful potential of the spell at my fingertips. I reach the office of the man I've spent plenty of weekends working alongside, and under, and I smile, even internally, when he looks up and spots me. He greets me with a smile and motions for me to sit down. When I do what he asks, he immediately begins to speak.
"Lucas, I apologize for calling out to you but I wanted to check in. Today you seemed... Out of it." The man exclaims, and judging from the way my heart jumps in my chest I realize that some people are just.... more intuitive than others. My acting skill gets a nice little load of experience when I mask my reaction to his words and let out a small, natural sounding laugh in response to his question.
"Tyler," I begin, causing the man to wince. I'm an atheist, or at least I was pre-chain, now... well, now I'm a lot more curious about religion than I was before. I'm not sure if gods exist, but I sure as shit know the supernatural does and I'm not in the business of denying what I can see. I've made my vague religious position clear to the man long ago so he insists I call him "Tyler" which I've personally always found a bit awkward, but there's something a little funny about how it disarms him so cleanly during this interaction. "I'm doing... Okay. I AM bummed I won't be here next week." I state, calmly. This causes my friend's eyes to widen in surprise.
"You're missing a week? I'm sure some of our regulars will be disappointed. Is everything alright?" The man asks. His question is so sincere, so genuine that it's mildly disarming.
I'm... not a nice person. I'm far from mean, sure, but I've come to accept that there's a core of kindness in some people, even in many people, and I am not someone who has that core, that central, unconscious, guiding light that moves them towards kindness with the ease and naturalness of a heartbeat. At my core rests something else, something I don't know if I can articulate in just a few words.
I wouldn't say I'm mean or anything like that but I'm far more cynical than a lot of the people I've met are. In this world, especially, it seems like a lot of people are just decent at heart and I suspect that that was and is the case in the world I was born on as well. Tyler is one of the people I've met whose central guiding light seems to be centered around decency and kindness and I think in any world the man could find himself in he'd strive to be kind. It's almost like interacting with a real version of Ned Flanders from The Simpsons...
"I'm okay. I'm gonna be doing other stuff, and I normally prioritize the soup kitchen over my work or social life," I state, and this isn't a flex it's simply a very true statement. Tyler hears the remark and smiles faintly. "But I've been asked to help out with other stuff from friends who wouldn't ask if it wasn't something they really felt they could handle alone. I'm just gonna miss one weekend, and then I'll be back." I remark, and Tyler smiles at me.
"Okay Lucas. If you need any help you'd ask, right?" Tyler asks, and I consider the question. This is only somewhat an act, as I don't know if I'd ask for help if I needed it. I ultimately nod at the man and I can sense a touch of sadness as he studies my response, which I don't love but I also don't really feel right lying anymore than is necessary. The man makes some small talk and I quickly breeze through it. In minutes I am back in the kitchen with the others. And minutes after that I am cleaning with my fellow volunteers. Almost before I know it I'm stepping out of the church after we've cleaned out the kitchen. I glance at it one last time before I make my way home.
The next few days pass by in a blur, with only two minor oddities; the first being that I ask Hannah to come out with me on Friday night. I have got to see if I can stomach the idea of any sort of romance in a jump, and this is a consequence free way for me to do something along those lines. The second oddity is that I spend nearly all of my money purchasing... well, everything. Every night after work I go to various stores and spend the money that I really haven't needed all that much until now, purchasing things like weapons, food, and especially books. I buy boatloads of books, both ready and willing to use up something I won't be able to take with me into future jumps anyway in exchange for stuff I CAN take with me, thanks to the fiat-backed power of an infinite inventory.
The work week is, aside from what I do after work every night, pretty normal but Friday itself is weirdly solemn. The day passes by as quickly as any other day has, filled with minor encounters with glitches, and a few more annoyances with my small number of drawbacks but when five rolls around I clock out one last time and give the office a final look. I am weirdly slow when it comes to getting up and leaving my cubicle, in fact I'm actually one of the last office workers to leave the office but as I step out of the building I experience another burst of gratitude to Gamer's Mind, which keeps me from acting odd or even tearing up as I glance back at the place I've spent thousands of hours in.
I allow myself a beat to... honestly, grieve. I tell myself that it's okay to have feelings about leaving, even if those feelings are big and weird and are not the most fun. Nonetheless I don't linger here, at my place of employment, I have other things I both need and want to do. I use my inventory and change into a pretty casual outfit before I begin a brief walk. _________________________________________________________________________
​The park beside the office building is a rare example of a pristine location in the city. It is filled with natural greenery, and at the moment a stunningly pretty redhead glances at her phone waiting for someone to pop into view.
The redhead is wearing a pleasant looking dress and a jacket, as the weather is just beginning to take the seasonal turn towards the unpleasant. It's still warm enough that the clothes are mostly unnecessary but as she waits for her friend, a young man who has finally gotten the courage to ask her out on something vaguely approximating a date, she appreciates the wisdom of her decision to wear the slightly warmer than necessary clothes.
Her "date", mostly in her eyes though he is aware of her feelings and a part of him feels some happiness in the idea that this is a date, enters the park and spots her before she spots him. He reaches into his inventory and he retrieves something, a nice little bouquet he purchased earlier today and safely stored away. The flowers, prettily packed and all, appear as he walks towards the young woman.
Lucas is testing the waters here. He isn't testing the waters with Hannah specifically, but rather what it feels like to go on a date as a jumper. He has long had strange feelings about this, but he knows that he is going to leave tomorrow and so he wants to see if he can enjoy a date as a jumper, so he is doing a scientific experiment even if he feels... less than great about some aspects of all of this.
"Hannah!" Lucas says, calling out to one of his first, in fact one of his only, real friends in this world. The redhead excitedly turns and spots her longtime friend, waving at him and waving him over. She spots the bouquet and lets out a delighted sounding laugh, and when Lucas hears it the smile that alights his features is heartwarming.
In his day to day life some facets of Lucas's charisma-heavy build only rarely surface in ways that matter and his looks tends to be one such thing He is attractive enough that his looks can captivate and reside in one's imagination for a while after they first meet him, but right now, this early on along his chain his looks are only enough to make people have schoolgirl crushes on him and people can and do get used to his looks after a while. Still, in some moments this is enough to color the impression he makes on people. Right now, in a romantic context, his supernatural attractiveness is enough to change the sort of impression he makes on someone.
The handsome actor reaches his friend and sits down next to her. He hands her the flowers and for a moment a strange serenity washes over the two as they enjoy each other's company. Lucas looks inward and he realizes that he genuinely, well and truly, likes this moment. Hannah looks at him and eventually asks an important question.
"Lucas... how am I gonna hold these flowers?" She asks, and this makes him smile. He is quick to offer her a response.
"I'll take them when we get going but I saw them and I thought of you. I felt like I'd regret it if I didn't give you these." He says, and there is an odd, for him, level of sincerity and genuineness in his voice that makes Hannah giggle girlishly. Lucas right now is relying on his perk-enhanced instincts and the charisma he has honed through social encounters for the last decade, and he's enjoying how it feels.
Both of the figures on the "Date", though neither of them officially dubbed it that, enjoy the moment. Their passive delight and infatuation create an envy-inducing atmosphere of closeness and quiet joy that radiates outward. The park is nearly abandoned so there is no one to witness this moment other than Lucas's benefactor, and Lucas is simply at peace.
Eventually he lightly touches Hannah's hand, and asks her if she'd like to go and get dinner before they go to the movie they agreed on going to watch earlier this week. Hannah agrees, handing Lucas the bouquet and he, to her surprise, puts it in the bag he has on his person. When she asks if that will squish or hurt the flowers Lucas tells her, with a bizarre amount of confidence, that it won't. She eventually accepts this, having learned to trust that Lucas knows what he is doing, and the two of them begin a short walk to a mall they both know well.

conda create -n lmdeploy python==3.10 pip install lmdeploy 

export LMDEPLOY_VERSION=0.4.2 export PYTHON_VERSION=310 pip install https://github.com/InternLM/lmdeploy/releases/download/v${LMDEPLOY_VERSION}/lmdeploy-${LMDEPLOY_VERSION}+cu118-cp${PYTHON_VERSION}-cp${PYTHON_VERSION}-manylinux2014_x86_64.whl --extra-index-url https://download.pytorch.org/whl/cu118 

export HF_MODEL=OpenGVLab/Mini-InternVL-Chat-2B-V1-5 export WORK_DIR=Mini-InternVL-Chat-2B-V1-5-4bit lmdeploy lite auto_awq \ $HF_MODEL \ --calib-dataset 'ptb' \ --calib-samples 128 \ --calib-seqlen 2048 \ --w-bits 4 \ --w-group-size 128 \ --batch-size 1 \ --search-scale False \ --work-dir $WORK_DIR 

from lmdeploy import pipeline from lmdeploy.messages import TurbomindEngineConfig from lmdeploy.vl import load_image model = 'Mini-InternVL-Chat-2B-V1-5-4bit' image = load_image('https://raw.githubusercontent.com/open-mmlab/mmdeploy/main/tests/data/tiger.jpeg') backend_config = TurbomindEngineConfig(model_format='awq') pipe = pipeline(model, backend_config=backend_config, log_level='INFO') response = pipe(('describe this image', image)) print(response) 

from lmdeploy import pipeline from lmdeploy.messages import TurbomindEngineConfig from lmdeploy.vl import load_image model = 'Mini-InternVL-Chat-2B-V1-5-4bit' image = load_image('https://raw.githubusercontent.com/open-mmlab/mmdeploy/main/tests/data/tiger.jpeg') backend_config = TurbomindEngineConfig(model_format='awq', tp=2) pipe = pipeline(model, backend_config=backend_config, log_level='INFO') response = pipe(('describe this image', image)) print(response) 

lmdeploy serve api_server Mini-InternVL-Chat-2B-V1-5-4bit --max-batch-size 256 --vision-max-batch-size 16 

This is weird but i need advice from the bi polar community. I have a cyber stalking order against someone who has really bad bi polar, delusions, and psychosis.
Quick backstory: she briefly dated my husband before he ever met me. Got pregnant; had an abortion. He met me and we moved away.. years later, i started realizing she would go through episodes where she wouldn’t stop calling, Harrass us, threaten us, make up things that never happened. Fast forward 3 years ago i got granted a restraining order for cyber stalking. Things went quiet.. now last week she popped up again. We got into touch with her mother and aunt who’s a police officer, found out about all her mental illnesses . Now it’s all making sense. Tho i do feel sorry for her , i am afraid for my safety. Her mother assures us she won’t hurt us, but she found out where my husband works last month .. walked into his work and punched him square in the face then ran away. Charges pending. But I’m afraid she doesn’t need jail time! She needs mental help. Her family isn’t taking it seriously. She posts on Facebook about 500 times a day . Claiming she knows celebrities. Says Rihanna stole from her, Kim k sleeps at her house. Claims she’s a god and she was pinned down and microchipped. She’s also Been writing cruel statuses about me and my children. Saying she’s going to continue to stalk us. Then she’ll say she wants to kill herself .. then after that she’ll Claim she has some sort of relationship with a celebrity again. She has multiple charges of domestic violence , injunctions , battery, you name it. I want to know how i can navigate this- i really wish her family would take this more seriously. As much as she’s hurt me i don’t think she belongs in jail.. but she really needs professional help before she really harms herself or others
I don’t know much about this illness but I’m afraid and wondering how long it lasts 🥹. I truly feel sad for herself and her family .

So what happens if the judge says no?
I relocated back to home state for child to establish relationship with coparent.
I can't find a job here, why I left initially. Back to square one.
Our state requires mediation before modification I guess, so attempted discussion and signature to agree to go, refused. Attempting to serve now, but the timeline is starting to make me nervous.
I have a signed offer letter with start date and house paid for in another state in 45 days (literally the length of the intent to relocate here, but I had to wait for the offer letter to file and the house was just luck to find so fast). Coparent openly admits that every part of this will be made difficult for me, so I anticipate not having a response in a timely manner. The timeline would effectively make it impossible to follow current parenting plan, thus the filings of mediation.
How do people relocate for work and have children?! I thought that was a totally appropriate amount of time to be given to relocate on the employers behalf, but it seems like I may need more time now and worry about losing the job.
My initial proposed plan was to give coparent majority of parenting time as child would like to stay at current school and near family (continuing to establish this relationship), which likely will be taken into account at this age, but also because our first time with this took years in court, I don't have that in me this time. Giving myself summers and school breaks but keeping joint-legal as close to as possible as I'm not trying to exit my childs life.
So if the judge says no, or I have to move before coparent responds/any of this even gets anywhere, what happens?
I read that the judge can enter basically the plan I am already proposing.

I'm so fucking tired. No matter how hard I try I never can improve my situation.
These days if you're not a social butterfly that can sell, a programming wizard, or a cut throat business owner, or a combo of all of the above, you're fucked.
I graduated college, I finally landed a job that uses my degree, I work full time. And what did that get me? A life of living in an apartment, no pets, no children, no money for hobbies, nothing.
I pretty much just work, play some xbox (that I bought used for 100 bucks), sleep, and wait for the weekend to maybe go fishing or something.
During the week I work and do deliveries like door dash to make a few extra bucks. But it doesn't really make a difference in the end.
I deliver to some pretty fucking high end houses. I just delivered to a 1.8mil house in the woods on the expensive side of town. And I just wonder, what the fuck do they do to afford that.
I'm tired man. I have health issues. My friends have drifted apart from me and moved away. I don't have my childhood dog anymore.
Really the only thing keeping me here are my parents, but once they're gone I'm checking the fuck out.
There is no reward for hard work, I can't buy a house, probably ever. I can't retire. I can't afford to retire and probably never will.
I know my strengths and weaknesses and I can only work within those bounds, and I know that the world just doesn't give a fuck about someone like me with my talents, no one will ever pay me good money for my abilities. I'm forever going to live in an apartment (if I'm lucky) and that's all I have to look forward to in life. I can't even get a pet because my place doesn't allow them.
What the fuck is the point man.

Let me give some backstory because there were 3 main “events” that led me to eventually ghosting this person. (Please forgive me, this may end up a little lengthy. Also, this wasn’t written as well as the first draft but that one got deleted)
Event #1: In high school, there were 4 of us that were really close. We will call them each, Diana, Julia, and Jack. Julia worshiped Diana. Diana could do no wrong in Julia’s eyes. Diana and Jack were a couple. They dated the majority of high school. All the way up to the summer before our senior year. Obviously, it was hard on the couple, but it was also difficult for ALL of their friends because we were expected to pick a side. Julia took Diana’s side, no questions and no doubts. It felt like I was the only one that wanted to remain neutral because I considered both Diana and Jack really good friends. Not just the typical, Jack was a friend because he was Diana’s boyfriend. Anyways, trying to remain neutral I gave support to both of them, the best I could. Jack confided in me that the reason he broke off the relationship was he had become overwhelmed by the drama Diana created. This made sense to me because Diana CRAVED drama. She created drama All. The. Time. (Looking back, I have no idea how I was friends with either of them. These friendships were just those friendships that some how… became and existed) The break up launched a series of dramatic situations created by Diana that escalated. These situations ended with Diana sleeping with a random guy from our school, 2 maybe 3 weeks after breaking up, and she ended up pregnant. The school year started up and as more kids found out about her pregnancy, the more rumors started going around. The biggest one – Jack was the father. Pregnant teens were absolutely not common in my high school. And Jack was being blamed for the situation Diana was in. Feeling empathy for my friend, I continued to be Jacks friend because most of his other friends were isolating him and giving him the cold shoulder. (To make it completely clear – Jack and I only felt friendship for each other, nothing more.) Julia hated that I was continuing to be Jacks friend. Julia accused me of betraying Diana and yelling at me for even talking to him - Jack: the one that got Diana pregnant. Julia said that she knew I couldn’t be trusted and was a horrible friend. The kicker? Julia and I knew who got Diana pregnant. Diana told us. Julia fed the rumors about Jack being the father, even though she knew the truth! For the sake of keeping the peace and adhering to the “Girl Code” I had to let the friendship with Jack dwindle to an occasional friendly wave in the hallway. A rift between Diana & Julia and myself grew regardless. The way they treated me began to change – talking down to me and keeping me out of conversations. I can guarantee they had conversations behind my back (as teenage girls do.) I can also guarantee Julia was the mastermind because Diana was too busy with the drama/attention of her pregnancy to notice anything or anyone else. I was already dealing with things at home and on top of it, had to maneuver the drama with my so called best friends. Julia doing this hurt so much because friends don’t do that. On top of it, I had a similar situation happen in middle school with a previous group of friends.
Event #2: (my main reason I don’t consider them a friend) Through Jr and Sr High school I had a crush mostly on one guy. There were other little crushes, but he was always the main one. We will call him Mark. Mark and I were actually really good friends. He was in a different friend group than Diana, Jack, and Julia. He and his friend welcomed me into their group when the drama was happening our senior year. Mark actually knew I had a crush on him. He was as kind as possible when he turned me down. Mark said he was committed to his own crush (who turned him down, saying she didn’t want to date in high school) Mark believed she was “the one” and was trying to not date anyone else as a sign of loyalty to her. Realizing Mark wasn’t going to change his mind, I had a hard time pretending and convincing myself I shouldn’t and didn’t have a crush on him. Doing so actually opened a door for Mark and I to become even closer friends. I hung out with him and his two guy friends a lot. Especially after we graduated high school. In fact, the majority of that calendar year, I basically didn’t spend any time with Diana and Julia. At the end of that year, the holiday season, all of the sudden Mark wasn’t hanging out with us as much. Our two friends told me he had a girlfriend. I assumed it was the girl he had a crush on. Especially because our friends said things like “he is picking up his girlfriend from the high school.” (his crush was the year behind us) a few weeks went by and it was almost Christmas. One of my friends was throwing a Christmas party, a bunch of us were invited. While I was hanging out in the front room with others, Mark came in through the front door, his girlfriend behind him. I couldn’t help but look in disbelief. His girlfriend wasn’t his crush, but was none other than Julia. Julia was also in the year behind us and was still going to school. Julia noticed me looking and as Mark turned away from her, she grabbed him, turned him back toward her and kissed him. I was already trying to tell myself it wasn’t a big deal. But then Julia, mid-kiss, looked straight at me. The kiss wasn’t very long but still. Some of you may argue that she was “concerned” about my reaction. But it was her grin and wave afterwards that told me Julia was gloating. Gloating that she was now dating the guy I had a crush on for years. And despite trying to deny it, I still had a crush on him. I left that friend group as well because I knew Julia was going to be there more often, which would inevitably ruin that group for me as well. I didn’t want to deal with the drama and hurt so I cut my losses.
Event #3: (the reminder event) A couple years later, Diana and Julia were married with kids. They had moved out of town, Julia even moved out of state. I got a message from Julia, sent to both Diana and I, asking if we would like to meet for lunch the next week because she (Julia) was coming into town to see family. As best as I could tell, Diana and Julia went their separate ways after we all graduated high school. For the sake of the friendship we once had, I agreed to meet. The day came, we get our food and sit down. They immediately start talking about their husbands and kids. Which is totally understandable, we were there to catch up. Thing is, I was still single – no kids, no husband. So I couldn’t add much to the conversation to relate and there wasn’t much of an opportunity to even ask questions. I finished my lunch while listening to them talk. At this point, 30-45 minutes went by and no one asked me how my life was going beyond the initial “How are you?!” when we first met up and got in line to order our food. Feeling very much like a third wheel, I wanted a chance to talk with my old friends. Finding an opportunity to organically get involved, I did so. I don’t remember what the conversation was about but I do remember I added to the conversation by saying something as simple as “Have you seen that movie yet?” Julia looked me dead in the eyes, said something specifically in response to my question and added “You aren’t even married or have a kid yet, you wouldn’t understand.” Diana laughed a little and added, “Not yet” They then continued to talk about their kids till it was decided we had been there long enough (a total of nearly 2 hrs) Today, I am married and have a kid of my own. I could talk about my kid all day long. But I don’t, because I considered it a basic social skill to be able to talk about other things. Especially to keep others involved in conversation. After this last situation, I was reminded of the way she treated me. So, I committed to keeping both, specifically Julia at a distance. At first Julia would try to convince me to visit her where she lived. Even after getting married. It eventually dwindled down to maybe 1 or 2 messages from her a year. Through all this time I give very minimal responses if Julia Facebook messages me.
I never confronted either of them about everything because I knew it would cause more drama that wasn’t worth dealing with.
So AITA?
Some of you may be looking for the petty. Well, to keep it short, Mark and I started dating 5 years after graduating high school. We have been together for 9 ½ years, married 7 ½ years, and have a beautiful 3yr old girl.
If you guys want an update on his experience dating Julia (he says it was the worse relationship he had) and how Mark and I ended up together, lmk!

[CW: talk of ableism and trauma]
——————————-
TL;DR: My dad said to my mom when I took out my new fidget toy after a fairly traumatic day: “he’s (not my preferred pronouns) just going into ‘Autistic Mode’”. He said that he would look into group homes tomorrow again because I “treat them like shit”. I shut down around them, and have been doing so for at least a week or more. I don’t have a job, freshly graduated from college as of December, and I have been struggling to get interviews. I have been using my university’s career services and got accepted into Vocational Rehab, but my parents keep threatening to kick me out of the house and be done with me.
——————————
For reference, I am highly confident I am Autistic and ADHD, but I have not been officially diagnosed. I have a referral and am in the process. My med manager is treating me with non-stimulants which work well and have increased executive function. I have also been exploring my being queer over the last few years, but only recently tried to explain to my parents in totality last November.
I knew they are queerphobic, and I knew that I annoy / upset them when I don’t talk and engage, and that when I talk it’s too much and not about the right thing. I just wanted to believe I was wrong. I wanted to believe I was reading into things because I’ve had so many past experiences where what I felt and what I thought turned out to be false. And they say they love me, and they love me so much that they hate to see me in pain, and so I wanted to believe that it’s true.
The last few days have been hard. My parents had family friends over (that have known me since I was a baby, and they have two adult children that didn’t come this round) for memorial day weekend from out of state. Since seeing the friends last, I have been doing a lot of self-discovery and further accepting the queer parts of myself. I hadn’t been planning to change my name, until by happenstance I found one online that I wanted to be mine due to it's simplicity and androgynous nature. But my parents (and my brother, though he has trans friends) have not been supportive. I just thought they raised me and gave me a name they picked out and so didn’t want to use a new one. It doesn’t make it better, but it’s something.
But they have made it clear in past conversations that it would be unfair for me to tell family friends and extended relatives. And so I spent all of last week before the weekend trying to debate whether I should tell the family friends that were coming over in a text message before they arrived. I tried to summon the courage, but I ended up not doing that. So when I first saw them, I shut down when their first words were “Hey, ”. I decided that I would make myself scarce because I knew I would just keep shutting down and having trouble speaking with them. Literally, it would be the same as with my parents where either the words don’t come or I don’t have the energy to get them past my throat.
So, I tried to be polite when I saw them and just didn’t engage in extensive conversation. When they left, my dad told me I was rude and selfish, and that I need to write them a letter to apologize. I ended up sending them a text today to apologize (didn't explain everything), but I didn’t want to send a letter because I am tired of using my dead name, and I would need to sign it.
I have been trying to avoid my parents even though we live in the same house because I don’t have a job yet. I recently graduated from college in December, but I have not been able to get interviews. I have been making use of my university’s career services and made appointments with the head of engineering to make my resume more appealing in terms of software engineering. I graduated with Interdisciplinary Studies focusing on Computer Science, Creative Writing, and Linguistics. I just want a job right now, and computer jobs pay well. I am hoping to figure out something beneficial in Creative Writing later, maybe Ghost Writing or something that might pay better than that. I also got accepted to use Vocational Rehab, and so I have been working with them.
But, since I am avoiding my parents, they believe I am trying to make it clear that I hate them. They consistently say that I “treat them like shit” and I am “lazy and just want an easy life”. Today has been a hard day after all the turmoil over the last week, and so I have had very little energy. I thought I could be experiencing depression, but I know what that feels like and where it leads. I am not there yet. So, I think the best word to describe it is probably dejected. Like the people who are constantly in my life don’t want me. In the late afternoon, I decided I didn’t just want to sit up in my room anymore, so I drove down to my bookstore to browse, and then checked to see if I could refill my meds. I had about an hour where I started feeling happy and enjoying myself, especially being able to browse the books and look at the descriptions on the back and recording the ones I want to read for later.
When I got home for dinner so my parents didn’t get mad, it was like all that happiness disappeared the moment I saw them. I could not move my face even if I wanted to, to pretend like I was cheery and all right. We got dinner out, and then I sat down. The counselor I like seeing at career services is also an ADHDer. I saw her last week to go over more plans for jobs, and she showed me the various baskets of stim toys she keeps on her bookshelf to hand out to students. She gave me one that’s a tightly knit, long rectangle and has a small glass ball inside. You squeeze it and the ball moves back and forth.
I haven’t used stim toys much growing up because I thought I was supposed to bear all the frustration and anxiety. But I have been trying to treat myself kinder over the last few months. So, I’ve been taking that stim toy with me, and had it when I went to the bookstore. With dinner set up, my parents were trying to get me to interact and “be better”. Without thinking, I took out the stim toy. My dad said I was going into “Autistic Mode” and that they can’t do anything. He will look at group homes again tomorrow.
…
Up until that moment, I had doubts. I thought that they really were trying to accept me and it was just hard, especially with all the queerness and years of mental health management (since 2019 when I broke down). But over the last month or so, I’ve had various times where I needed to record my mental health history for intake and I started talking about my parents and how I am starting to recognize the gaslighting and emotional abuse.
I have also been trying hard to remember the good moments. But I can't remember a moment where I was showing signs I am clearly Autistic or ADHD, and that they genuinely enjoyed and loved it. Especially as I've gotten older. I remember them expecting me to get good grades in school from the beginning. If it wasn't "A"s they were upset, and if I failed a test they told me to study again and took me down to school to convince the teacher to let me test again. If I couldn't prove I knew the material and the teacher didn't let me retake it, then I was shunned on the way home.
I want so much to be wrong. I want so much for them to be right and that it's me who is abusing them like they say it is. I don't know why--I don't really feel any emotional love for them and I don't think I ever did, I just don't want them to suffer--but if I am the one who's hurting them then maybe I can change and stop. Maybe I can get better and show them love and be nice to them like they deserve. I wouldn't need to make a plan to estrange myself from them when I am on my feet to better take care of myself. I wish it was me.
I don't know why I am writing all of this. You all have your own problems and don't need to load on mine, and I am not going to pretend I have it the worst even just in my own city. I also feel manipulative, like I am only writing the bad parts and that I should try to remember and describe the good parts.
I just don't have anyone I can talk to right now. I have been out of therapy for a few months. I have been on wait lists for more experienced therapists dealing with gender-affirming care, since that has become a bigger problem. I have something scheduled for the middle of next month with a more general therapist and a referral to a specialized therapist as well.
But I just want to talk to someone who understands. I don't have that in my life. When doctors ask me if I have anyone I can just vent to or trust, I can't think of anyone. I have one friend, but since graduating we only meet up once a month. I can share a lot with her and she is supportive, but then I feel like that one meeting is filled with me trying to vent and seek therapy from her. I don't really want more social interaction, but I want to feel like someone sees me, the real me, and they actually like what they see.
I plan to call the suicide hotline tomorrow. Not because I am suicidal, but because I was told I don't need to be suicidal to call. I know my parents will hear me on the phone if I call tonight, and I don't really want to spend a long time writing out the words in a text to the text number to explain everything when the person on the other end might not be able to fully understand, and so they would just tell me what they think I need to hear. But I guess I'd get the same from the phone call.
I don't know how to wrap this up, and it sounds when I read this over like I am quite lucid and therefore being petty by putting this here. I am lucid, but it doesn't really help me feel better. I can't lie to myself anymore; I've been trying so hard to not lie to myself when I spot it. I am sorry for the long rambling and various tangents. I just want to put this somewhere where people might understand.

Hi everyone! I’m an incoming freshman (F17). I applied undecided into the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences. I have a few questions about Villanova. If anyone can answer even one of them it would be a huge help. Reddit seems to be the best forum regarding Nova I can find.

1. CLAS: I know CLAS is gets a bit of a bad rep compared to the business school, engineering school, and nursing school. How significantly does a student feel that on campus?
   
2. ASL: I want to take American Sign Language for my language requirement. I’ve taken Spanish from elementary school to junior year, and it’s always been my worst subject. I can’t take another year of it. Has anyone here taken the ASL course? How was the professor? How difficult is it? If I end up hating it- what is a language you recommend?
   
3. Professors: Please give me any / all teacher recommendations - who to stay away from , who will give me an easy grade , who makes their class borderline impossible with workload and grading , etc.
   
4. Mathematics requirement: I didn’t take any AP/IB classes (my high school doesn’t offer them) but I did take Calculus in my senior year and got a 98.78 in the class (I dropped from AB Calculus and am pretty good at Math). If you are in CLAS - what math did you take? I don’t really understand what some of the options are (discrete math for the social sciences, Mathematics of Fairness, Calculus 1 for Liberal Arts, Calculus 2 for Liberal Arts, Regular Calculus 1, Regular Calculus 2, Logic something or another). First of all if anyone could give me any insights on any of these that would be amazing. Secondly, what is the difference between Calculus for Liberal Arts versus just the normal Calculus? Also, is it worth it to try Calculus 2 even though I didn’t take the AP? Does it matter at all? If I decide to transfer out of Villanova will other colleges care if I take what sounds like bs math courses? What teachers should I try to get for any of these courses?
   
5. Housing: I didn’t apply for Communitas, but I was reading a lot of posts and comments here that said you want to be in the South Campus as a freshmen. I’m also not in the honors program. Which are the best buildings for a freshman. I had to rank my choices in the Housing application and said Good Counsel, St. Katharine, St. Monica’s (I think). But I really didn’t have any information and am kind of scared. Any insights?
   
6. Social Scene: I’m definitely not going to join a sorority. I’ve seen posts here from like the 2000s that say if you are a girl you won’t have trouble getting into parties. Is that still applicable? Also where do people get alc? I have a fake (or should in abt 2 weeks). Are there any go-to bars or convenience stores to bring drinks back to dorms.
   
7. Advice: Any specific tips/recs for succeeding at Nova besides the generic make relationships with your teachers, go to office hours, study, read the syllabus, etc.?