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Men at Arms Discworld, Book 15 Series: Discworld: Ankh-Morpork City Watch, Book 2, Discworld, Book 15 Life, the Universe, and Everything Audiobook By Douglas Adams cover art 70. Life, the Universe, and Everything The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Book 3 Series: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Book 3 71. American Psycho BuyMort: Bull Market Mayhem: How I Cornered the Multiversal Monopoly Audiobook By Damien Hanson, Joseph Phelps cover art 72. BuyMort: Bull Market Mayhem: How I Cornered the Multiversal Monopoly Shopocalypse Saga, Book 5 By: Damien Hanson, Joseph Phelps Series: Shopocalypse Saga, Book 5 73. Is This Anything? 74. Yearbook How to Stop Time Audiobook By Matt Haig cover art 75. How to Stop Time By: Matt Haig 76. A Very Punchable Face 77. Red Seas Under Red Skies 78. My Year of Rest and Relaxation Mr. & Mrs. American Pie Audiobook By Juliet McDaniel cover art 79. Mr. & Mrs. American Pie By: Juliet McDaniel Big Swiss Audiobook By Jen Beagin cover art 80. Big Swiss By: Jen Beagin Cut and Thirst Audiobook By Margaret Atwood cover art 81. Cut and Thirst A Short Story By: Margaret Atwood Round Here and Over Yonder Audiobook By Trae Crowder, Corey Ryan Forrester cover art 82. Round Here and Over Yonder A Front Porch Travel Guide by Two Progressive Hillbillies (Yes, That’s a Thing.) By: Trae Crowder, Corey Ryan Forrester Tales from the Gas Station, Volume Four Audiobook By Jack Townsend cover art 83. Tales from the Gas Station, Volume Four By: Jack Townsend Series: Tales from the Gas Station, Book 4 84. Friends in Napa 85. Calypso 86. My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry The Messy Lives of Book People Audiobook By Phaedra Patrick cover art 87. The Messy Lives of Book People By: Phaedra Patrick Talking as Fast as I Can Audiobook By Lauren Graham cover art 88. Talking as Fast as I Can From Gilmore Girls to Gilmore Girls (and Everything in Between) 89. The Best of Me Democracy or Else Audiobook By Jon Favreau, Jon Lovett, Tommy Vietor cover art 90. Democracy or Else How to Save America in 10 Easy Steps By: Jon Favreau, Jon Lovett, Tommy Vietor Game On Audiobook By Janet Evanovich cover art 91. Game On Tempting Twenty-Eight (A Stephanie Plum Novel, Book 28) Series: Stephanie Plum, Book 28 92. A Carnival of Snackery Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe Audiobook By Fannie Flagg cover art 93. Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe By: Fannie Flagg The Land: Monsters Audiobook By Aleron Kong cover art 94. The Land: Monsters A LitRPG Saga (Chaos Seeds, Book 8) Series: Chaos Seeds, Book 8 So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish Audiobook By Douglas Adams cover art 95. So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish Series: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Book 4 America Fantastica Audiobook By Tim O'Brien cover art 96. America Fantastica By: Tim O'Brien Jackson Audiobook By Neven Iliev cover art 97. Jackson Everybody Loves Large Chests, Vol. 9 Series: Everybody-Loves-Large-Chests, Book 9 98. Jingo Series: Discworld: Ankh-Morpork City Watch, Book 4, Discworld, Book 21 99. Lamb The Spook Who Sat by the Door Audiobook By Sam Greenlee, Natiki Hope Pressley cover art 100. The Spook Who Sat by the Door By: Sam Greenlee, Natiki Hope Pressley

Links

• Main Post
• Album List and Tracklist Spreadsheets Post
• Album List Spreadsheet
• Tracklist Spreadsheet
• No download link here. If you'd like access, please ask. And don't forget to support the artists!
  ×=×=×=×=×
  

Key

• [!M!] = Main studio album (including fake ones and extended EPs)
• [B!] = Bonus album (additional songs and miscellaneous material)
• [R!] = Remix album
• [BR] = Bonus remix album
• [I!] = Instrumental album
• [S!] = Soundtrack album
• [D] = Demo album
• [DR] = Demo remix album
• [ID] = Instrumental demo album
• [IS] = Instrumental samples album
• [U] = The Unused Collection
  ×=×=×=×=×
  

New and Updated Albums

New Albums:

• 80 – [BR] – Mike Shinoda – Endel Soundscapes Vol. 1: Gaming
• 81 – [BR] – Mike Shinoda – Endel Soundscapes Vol. 2: Workout

Edited Albums – New Tracks:

• X8 – [U] – Mike Shinoda – The Unused 8.0
• 79 – [B] – Mike Shinoda – Already Over Sessions

Edited Albums – New Track Orders:

• 10 – [!M!] – Linkin Park – Hybrid Theory 2000
• 71 – [ID] – Mike Shinoda – ShinodaJams 7.0
• 72 – [ID] – Mike Shinoda – ShinodaJams 8.0
• 73 – [ID] – Mike Shinoda – ShinodaJams 9.0
• 78 – [R!] – Mike Shinoda – The Crimson Chapter

Edited Albums – Other Edits:

• 16 – [B!] – Linkin Park – Collision Course:: [Track 07-08 transition / Track 14]
• 18 – [B!] – Fort Minor – Militia :: [Track 02]

Renumbered Albums:

• 82 – [I!] – Mike Shinoda – MS Exclusives (DFV4)
  ×=×=×=×=×
  ×=×=×=×=×
  

New Albums

×=×

80 – [BR] – Mike Shinoda – Endel Soundscapes Vol. 1: Gaming

• Bonus
• 01 – Arthas, My Son [Mike Shinoda Remix] – [Neal Acree] – [Single]
• 02 – Daily Auction 2023-12-13
• 03 – Daily Auction 2023-12-14
• Already Over [Gaming Version]
• 04 – Already Over [Endel Gaming 1]
• 05 – Already Over [Endel Gaming 2]
• 06 – Already Over [Endel Gaming 3]
• 07 – Already Over [Endel Gaming 4]
• 08 – Already Over [Endel Gaming 5]
• Already Over [Fort Minor Mix: Gaming Version] – [ft. Dom McLennon]
• 09 – Already Over [Fort Minor Mix: Endel Gaming 1]
• 10 – Already Over [Fort Minor Mix: Endel Gaming 2]
• 11 – Already Over [Fort Minor Mix: Endel Gaming 3]
• 12 – Already Over [Fort Minor Mix: Endel Gaming 4]
• In My Head [Gaming Version]
• 13 – In My Head [Endel Gaming 1]
• 14 – In My Head [Endel Gaming 2]
• 15 – In My Head [Endel Gaming 3]
• 16 – In My Head [Endel Gaming 4]
  Length: 40:55
  ×=×
  

81 – [BR] – Mike Shinoda – Endel Soundscapes Vol. 2: Workout

• In My Head [Warm Up Version]
• 01 – In My Head [Endel Warm Up 1]
• 02 – In My Head [Endel Warm Up 2]
• 03 – In My Head [Endel Warm Up 3]
• 04 – In My Head [Endel Warm Up 4]
• Already Over [Fort Minor Mix: Light Cardio Version] – [ft. Dom McLennon]
• 05 – Already Over [Fort Minor Mix: Endel Light Cardio 1]
• 06 – Already Over [Fort Minor Mix: Endel Light Cardio 2]
• 07 – Already Over [Fort Minor Mix: Endel Light Cardio 3]
• 08 – Already Over [Fort Minor Mix: Endel Light Cardio 4]
• Already Over [Cardio Version]
• 09 – Already Over [Endel Cardio 1]
• 10 – Already Over [Endel Cardio 2]
• 11 – Already Over [Endel Cardio 3]
• Already Over [Intense Cardio Version]
• 12 – Already Over [Endel Intense Cardio 1]
• 13 – Already Over [Endel Intense Cardio 2]
• Already Over [Cool Down Version]
• 14 – Already Over [Endel Cool Down 1]
• 15 – Already Over [Endel Cool Down 2]
• Bonus
• 16 – Quarantine Tequila [2023 Version]
  Length: 45:47
  ×=×=×=×=×
  

Edited Albums – New Tracks

×=×

X8 – [U] – Mike Shinoda – The Unused 8.0 – [Ziggurats Era]

• Platonic Love
• 01 – Icosa [Original] – [Platonic Love]
• Twitch Demos
• 02 – One Hundredth Stream [Short Official Version] – [NFT]
• 03 – 100 Gecs – Ringtone [Mike Shinoda Remix]
• 04 – RTN AI
• 05 – All Sample Track – [Free Download]
• 06 – All Samples 2
• 07 – All Sample Track 3
• 08 – Boo Moo [Version 2]
• 09 – Classic Hip Hop Sample Set
• 10 – Freestyle Ooh Baba [Demo - Version 1]
• 11 – Sea Cucumber [Version 1]
• 12 – Rapology Throwback [Version 1]
• 13 – Cathedral [Short Official Version] – [NFT]
• 14 – Windchime [Version 1]
• Linkin Park – In the End Remix
• 15 – In the End [2022 Remix] – [by Malaa]
• ShinodaProduceMe
• 16 – Matthew K. Heafy – In Defiance [Early Version] – [produced by Mike Shinoda]
  Length: 52:04
  

New track: 16
×=×

79 – [B] – Mike Shinoda – Already Over Sessions

• Sydney – [ft. Bonnie Fraser, Tash Wolf, Mitchell Black, James Karagiozis & Daniel Furnari]
• 01 – Already Over [Sydney]
• 02 – Bleed It Out [Sydney]
• Los Angeles – [ft. Bobby Amaru, Veda, Mateus Asato, Morgan F. Kennedy, Nalu The Piano Man, mynameisnotdrew & Nate Mueller]
• 03 – Already Over [Los Angeles]
• 04 – Faint [Los Angeles]
• 05 – Los Angeles Jam
• London – [ft. Nørskov, Paul Davids, Diego Riera, Charles Berthoud, Ellie Dixon & Sam Arrow]
• 06 – Already Over [London]
• 07 – Castle of Glass [London]
• Berlin – [ft. Damona, wavvyboi, Simon Will, Tobiplayspiano, Marti Fischer & Raja Meissner]
• 08 – Already Over [Berlin]
• 09 – In My Head [Berlin]
• Tokyo – [ft. Kazuki, MINA, Yomii, Maiki & Minoru Yokoo]
• 10 – Already Over [Tokyo]
• 11 – Remember the Name [Tokyo]
• ShinodaProduceMe – [produced by Mike Shinoda]
• 12 – Matthew K. Heafy – In Defiance
• 13 – Becko – Darkest Days
• 14 – Hadi X – Clarity
• 15 – Megan Lenius – Not Your Game
• 16 – Wax//Wane – The Way Down
  Length: 49:25
  

New tracks: 12-16
×=×=×=×=×

Edited Albums – New Track Orders

×=×

10 – [!M!] – Linkin Park – Hybrid Theory 2000

• 01 – Papercut
• 02 – One Step Closer
• 03 – With You
• 04 – Points of Authority
• 05 – Crawling
• 06 – Runaway
• 07 – It's Goin' Down – [with The X-Ecutioners]
• 08 – By Myself
• 09 – In the End
• 10 – My December – [B-Side]
• 11 – Fighting Myself – [M20]
• 12 – A Place For My Head
• 13 – Forgotten
• 14 – Cure For the Itch
• 15 – High Voltage 2000 – [B-Side]
• 16 – Pushing Me Away
  Length: 52:46
  

Edit: Swapped 14 & 15
×=×

71 – [ID] – Mike Shinoda – ShinodaJams 7.0 – [Twitch]

• 01 – Freestyle 3.1.21 ['Four Track Tape' Demo]
• 02 – Obon Papa Roach KMFDM Saw Weird Time Sig
• 03 – Doors Strokes Silent Hill
• 04 – Freestyle 1 - 3.17.21
• 05 – Freestyle 2 - 3.17.21 [Loop Edit]
• 06 – Freestyle 4.5.21
• 07 – Rebel Bass 2
• 08 – Dinosaur Jr. Trigun Sound Collector
• 09 – Freestyle 5.13.21 ['THP Freestyle' Demo]
• 10 – Return of the Aliens [NFT]
• 11 – Reaper
• 12 – RTN AI
• 13 – Axel F Pink Floyd Anderson .Paak
• 14 – Freestyle 6.17.21
• 15 – Freestyle 7.1.21
• 16 – Live Room Jam
  Length: 38:57
  

Edit: Re-added 12
×=×

72 – [ID] – Mike Shinoda – ShinodaJams 8.0 – [Twitch]

• 01 – Maschine Freestyle
• 02 – Redwoods Freestyle
• 03 – Wonderguns [Demo]
• 04 – Brown Noise
• 05 – Pop Punk Undertale Cell Phone Alarm
• 06 – Random Stuff In the Room
• 07 – New Jack Swing Volbeat
• 08 – Freestyle Ooh Baba [Demo - Version 2]
• 09 – Melatonin
• 10 – Rings of Saturn
• 11 – Bigfoot Freestyle
• 12 – Jiujitsu
• 13 – Long Live the Parrot
• 14 – Line of Demarcation
• 15 – Bowl Post Rock Blue Monday Mass Effect
• 16 – Sea Cucumber [Version 2]
  Length: 44:31
  ×=×
  

73 – [ID] – Mike Shinoda – ShinodaJams 9.0 – [Twitch]

• 01 – Freestyle 10.28.21
• 02 – Thunderdogs [Demo]
• 03 – Last Laugh – [NFT]
• 04 – Rapology Throwback [Version 2]
• 05 – Dolphin Cheeseburger Xmas
• 06 – Happy Accident [Demo]
• 07 – Cathedral [Demo]
• 08 – Queso Fresco
• 09 – Lava Totem w Live Drum [Demo]
• 10 – Integrity Tot [Demo]
• 11 – Bowl Tamp Impala Jon Bellion Living Things
• 12 – Portal Sound Redeem ['Portal' Demo]
• 13 – Timekeeper [Demo]
• 14 – Lucky Foot – [NFT]
• 15 – Cold Storage [Demo]
• 16 – Windchime [Version 2]
  Length: 40:34
  ×=×
  

78 – [R!] – Mike Shinoda – The Crimson Chapter

• 01 – Already Over [Crimson Intro]
• 02 – In My Head [Spooky Version] – [ft. Kailee Morgue]
• 03 – Decasentry [Stem Mix 0112]
• 04 – Waiting For Tomorrow [Extended Mix] – [with Martin Garrix & Pierce Fulton]
• 05 – Already Over [Reorganized Mix]
• 06 – Fine [Finer Mix]
• 07 – Decasentry [Stem Mix 1210] – [AKA Version 2]
• 08 – Already Over [Fort Minor Mix] – [ft. Dom McLennon]
• 09 – In My Head [Slowed and Reverbed] – [ft. Kailee Morgue]
• 10 – In My Head [Sped Up] – [ft. Kailee Morgue]
• 11 – Already Over [8-Bit]
• 12 – Decasentry [Stem Mix 2001]
• 13 – Already Over [Nothing's There Mix]
• 14 – Already Over [Part 2]
• 15 – Just Math
• 16 – Decasentry [Stem Mix 2221] – [AKA Version 3]
  Length: 44:56
  

Edit: Added 11 & 15
×=×=×=×=×
×=×=×=×=×

Links

• Main Post
• Album List and Tracklist Spreadsheets Post
• Album List Spreadsheet
• Tracklist Spreadsheet
• Collection of Cover Art Used in the Collection
• No download link here. If you'd like access, please ask. And don't forget to support the artists!
  ×=×=×=×=×
  

Key

• [!M!] = Main studio album (including fake ones and extended EPs)
• [B!] = Bonus album (additional songs and miscellaneous material)
• [R!] = Remix album
• [I!] = Instrumental album
• [IB] = Instrumental bonus album
• [S!] = Soundtrack album
• [D] = Demo album
• [DR] = Demo remix album
• [ID] = Instrumental demo album
• [IS] = Instrumental samples album
• [U] = The Unused Collection
  ×=×=×=×=×
  

New Albums

(Including Dec 2023 update *)

• 77 – [R!] – LPLive – Refraction
• 78 – [R!] – Mike Shinoda – The Crimson Chapter *
• 79 – [B] – Mike Shinoda – Already Over Sessions
• 80 – [I!] – Mike Shinoda – MS Exclusives
  ×=×
  

77 – LPLive – Refraction – [Remix]

• 01 – The Awakening – [by VISIA]
• 02 – Somewhere I Belong [VISIA Remix]
• 03 – From the Inside [DirtyBlup Remix]
• 04 – Day One – [by Shurpi & VISIA]
• 05 – Nobody's Listening [Refraction Remix] – [by SerioDrew & Refraction Collaborators]
• 06 – Lying From You [Xefuzion Remix]
• 07 – Figure.09 [DJ Yamato Remix]
• 08 – Hit the Floor [Darkenius Storm Remix]
• 09 – Forward – [by Jakub Patok]
• 10 – Don't Stay [shurpi Remix]
• 13 – Lost [DirtyBlup & VISIA Remix]
• 14 – Echo In the Way [Session Remix] – [by DirtyBlup ft. Ace Wav & Dimitris]
• 11 – Faint [Jakub Patok Remix]
• 12 – Numb [Lizzi Cloverman & shurpi Remix]
• 15 – Breaking the Habit [Randy Vazquez & Lizzi Cloverman Remix]
• 16 – Easier To Run [Randy Vazquez Remix]
  Length: 55:05
  ×=×
  

78 – Mike Shinoda – The Crimson Chapter – [Remix]

• 01 – Already Over [Crimson Intro]
• 02 – In My Head [Spooky Version] – [ft. Kailee Morgue]
• 03 – Decasentry [Stem Mix 0112]
• 04 – Waiting For Tomorrow [Extended Mix] – [with Martin Garrix & Pierce Fulton]
• 05 – Already Over [Reorganized Mix]
• 06 – Fine [Finer Mix]
• 07 – Decasentry [Stem Mix 1210] – [AKA Version 2]
• 08 – Decasentry [Stem Mix 2221] – [AKA Version 3]
• 09 – Already Over [Fort Minor Mix] – [ft. Dom McLennon]
• 10 – In My Head [Slowed and Reverbed] – [ft. Kailee Morgue]
• 11 – In My Head [Sped Up] – [ft. Kailee Morgue]
• 12 – Decasentry [Stem Mix 2001]
• 13 – Decasentry [Stem Mix 1112]
• 14 – Already Over [Nothing's There Mix]
• 15 – Already Over [Part 2]
• 16 – Decasentry [Stem Mix 2211] – [AKA Version 4]
  Length: 45:36
  ×=×
  

79 – Mike Shinoda – Already Over Sessions – [Bonus]

• Sydney – [ft. Bonnie Fraser, Tash Wolf, Mitchell Black, James Karagiozis & Daniel Furnari]
• 01 – Already Over [Sydney]
• 02 – Bleed It Out [Sydney]
• Los Angeles – [ft. Bobby Amaru, Veda, Mateus Asato, Morgan F. Kennedy, Nalu The Piano Man, mynameisnotdrew & Nate Mueller]
• 03 – Already Over [Los Angeles]
• 04 – Faint [Los Angeles]
• 05 – Los Angeles Jam
• London – [ft. Nørskov, Paul Davids, Diego Riera, Charles Berthoud, Ellie Dixon & Sam Arrow]
• 06 – Already Over [London]
• 07 – Castle of Glass [London]
• Berlin – [ft. Damona, wavvyboi, Simon Will, Tobiplayspiano, Marti Fischer & Raja Meissner]
• 08 – Already Over [Berlin]
• 09 – In My Head [Berlin]
• Tokyo – [ft. Kazuki, MINA, Yomii, Maiki & Minoru Yokoo]
• 10 – Already Over [Tokyo]
• 11 – Remember the Name [Tokyo]
• Bonus
• 12 – Already Over [8-Bit]
• 13 – Daily Auction 2023-12-13
• 14 – Daily Auction 2023-12-14
• 15 – Just Math
• 16 – Quarantine Tequila [2023 Version]
  Length: 40:59
  ×=×
  

80 – Mike Shinoda – MS Exclusives – [Instrumental]

• 01 – Portal
• 02 – Cathedral
• 03 – Cold Storage
• 04 – Four Track Tape
• 05 – Freestyle Ooh Baba
• 06 – Timekeeper
• 07 – Integrity Tot
• 08 – Thunderdogs
• 09 – Lava Totem
• 10 – More Desktop
• 11 – Not Kyle
• 12 – Drone Strike [2023 Version]
• 13 – The Brooklyn Way
• 14 – Happy Accident
• 15 – THP Freestyle
• 16 – Wonderguns
  Length: 45:07
  ×=×=×=×=×
  

Edited Albums

(Including Dec 2023 update *)

• 23 – [D+B!] – Dead By Sunrise *
• ^ – (Added "Crazy"; Removed "What Do They Know" Remix)
• 64 – [ID] – Mike Shinoda – CoronaJams 6.0 – [Twitch]
• ^ – (Replaced "Freestyle Holiday One" Version 1 with Version 2)
• X7 – [U] – Mike Shinoda – The Unused 7.0 – [Dropped Frames Era]
• ^ – (Replaced redundant track with "Freestyle Holiday One" Version 2)
• 69 – [R!] – Mike Shinoda – Ziggurats: Variations Vol. 1 *
• 70 – [R!] – Mike Shinoda – Ziggurats: Variations Vol. 2 *
• ^ – (Moved "Waiting For Tomorrow", "Decasentry", and "In My Head" alternate versions to The Crimson Chapter; Restructured from 4 volumes to 2)
• X8 – [U] – Mike Shinoda – The Unused 8.0 – [Ziggurats Era]
• ^ – (Replaced redundant track with "SSWX Loop")
  ×=×=×=×=×
  

Renumbered Albums & Albums with Edited Metadata

(Renumbered = #)

• 56 – [ID] – Mike Shinoda – CoronaJams 1.0 – [Twitch]
• 57 – [ID] – Mike Shinoda – CoronaJams 2.0 – [Twitch]
• 58 – [ID] – Mike Shinoda – CoronaJams 3.0 – [Twitch]
• 63 – [ID] – Mike Shinoda – CoronaJams 5.0 – [Twitch]
• 71 – [ID] – Mike Shinoda – ShinodaJams 7.0 – [Twitch] #
• 72 – [ID] – Mike Shinoda – ShinodaJams 8.0 – [Twitch] #
• 73 – [ID] – Mike Shinoda – ShinodaJams 9.0 – [Twitch] #
• 74 – [S!] – Joe Hahn & Alec Puro – Blade of the 47 Ronin Pt. 1 #
• 75 – [S!] – Joe Hahn & Alec Puro – Blade of the 47 Ronin Pt. 2 #
• 76 – [!M!] – Grey Daze – The Phoenix #
  ×=×=×=×=×
  ×=×=×=×=×
  

Here is my full breakdown of where we stand after episode 6. May want to get a drink and snack. It’s a long read lol.
First a breakdown of how I’ll be referring to Alison and Lennon:
Real Lennon-Grad night Lennon before switch
Real Alison- Grad night Alison before switch
AliLennon- Alison as Lennon after switch
Lennison- Lennon as Alison after switch
“Alison” – Texter
Murdered:
Coach Erik And Johnny- Episode 2
Dale- Episode 3
Harold and Officer Doug Cruise- Episode 4
Courtney- Episode 6
Riley (? Pretty sure she is dead, will need next week’s episode to confirm)- Episode 6
Suspects left:
- AliLennon
- Dylan
- Margot
- Clara
- Bruce
- Mei/Carl/Kyle
- Lyla
- Kaloma
- HeatheSusan (Bio-mom)
- Fred Philips
What we know of the Cult:
- 25 years ago mass suicide
- Clara, Bruce, HeatheSusan and Fred Philips were in it
- Clara and Bruce were married, before Bruce and HeatheSusan conceived twins 20 years ago
- HeatheSusan left with Fred Philips 13 years ago
- Cult was attached to weird brain eating Arctic spiders
- The symbol of the cult is the necklace Real Alison and Lennison were wearing which belonged to their bio-mom
- Clara has made remarks leading us to believe that one of the beliefs is of a resurrection of “the one.”
Interesting facts in each episode:
Episode 1:
- Everyone left besides Clara, HeatheSusan, Fred Philips, Kaloma, and Kyle were at the Grad party.
- Margot while dancing with Real Lennon says, “Together forever.” Real Lennon follows up with, “Until I leave tomorrow for college.”
- The Instagram live Margot is filming in Jeep before they hit Lennison she states that Riley was her first friend when she first moved to Wai Huna.
- In kissing AliLennon when Johnny tells Margot and her to kiss and make up, Margot says, “Love you Lemon.”
- After they hit Lennison, only Johnny and Dylan wanted to do the right thing and call the cops.
- Clara was outside the cave when they carried Lennison into the cave, was still outside when they left the cave.
Episode 2:
-Bruce poses this question to AliLennon after she comes clean about what happened to Lennison and wants to turn herself in, “Do you think her friends would protect you if they knew the truth?”
- Dylan doesn’t show up to the first meeting when AliLennon, Margot, and Riley find out Johnny is with Coach.
- Clara is at Dylan’s when AliLennon goes to see Dylan
- Johnny shares details of him and Coach together with Margot, Margot shares with Johnny about her breakdown
- Black truck following AliLennon, later scares her by running up towards house.
- Lyla questions Bruce if AliLennon has heard from Lennison, before Bruce finds necklace Clara left for him
- Johnny goes to see AliLennon, they smoke on the beach, AliLennon slips up in lighting his cigarette, Bruce watches them from afar. Once Johnny leaves, Bruce warns AliLennon she has to be more careful around people.
- Margot facetimes Johnny, call ends abruptly just as he starts to get to his suspicions of AliLennon.
- Johnny finds Coach in a trap and kills Coach and falls himself as killer kills him.
- AliLennon comes upon headless goat in the road where I assume Lennison was hit, Johnny’s head where the body landed, everyone in OG crew gets “Alison” text of Johnny’s decapitation. Everyone seems visibly upset at video.
- Ending scenes: Lyla at High School crime scene, Bruce buries necklace in suitcase under shed, Clara walks on beach with severed goat head to cave.
Episode 3
- Spider comes into play
- AliLennon tries calling Bruce multiple times, no answer. When she gets home finds his phone on counter and sees Lyla’s texts and sex video with her dad, deletes her calls, leaves.
-Riley rides past crime scene on her bike, almost gets hit by Clara driving her truck.
- The OG crew meets at Snak-n-stuff, Dylan is last to meeting. Margot quickly starts pointing to Lennison as being who is after them, snaps at Riley a lot, AliLennon points out that Real Alison loved Johnny, Margot states that it is classic psychopath behavior to hurt the ones you love.
- Dylan gives Riley ride home, stays pretty silent the entire way. Riley tells him she only kissed him because she felt sorry for him. When they pull up to Riley’s, Courtney and Kelly are outside just as police pull up to break news to Kelly about Coach.
- AliLennon gets pulled over by Lyla who tells her she should go home, Bruce has been trying to reach her. AliLennon lets Lyla know that she knows they are hooking up.
- Lyla follows AliLennon home, once gone, Black truck drives up on AliLennon and scares her into the house.
- Dylan finds AliLennon outside smoking, questions her about it.
- Harold gives AliLennon a dessert, she slips about Johnny being her only real friend. Bruce swoops in reminds AliLennon that she has lots of friends before AliLennon walks away.
- Dale talks to Riley and Dylan about grad night, makes him looks suspicious.
- Margot finds AliLennon at a park lets her know she has find my friend app to track her friends.
- Bruce watches surveillance video of black truck harassing AliLennon.
- AliLennon goes to Snak-n-stuff when Dale tries to “attack” her.
- Dylan and Riley go to cave to look for Alison’s name, Riley reveals that she thought she heard/saw Lennison take a breath, AliLennon and Margot show up at cave. Dylan tells group that Riley thinks she saw her breathe, AliLennon lets them know Dale attacked her. Riley points out that it is a game Real Lennon and Dale play. Girls think it’s Dale, Dylan believes it is Alison.
- Margot does change before going to confront Dale but shows up with Dylan and Riley, AliLennon is waiting. They go inside to find Dale dead and leave.
- Officer Cruise finds Dale’s body. Lyla arrives at scene after Cruise calls it in.
- Ending scenes: Johnny’s head with spiders left at police station, cuts to Dylan driving, Riley at home with Courtney and Kelly, Dylan driving, Margot shutting off her bedroom lights, Dylan driving
- AliLennon looking at all the pictures on the wall, texts “Alison’s” number asking who it is. Reply is I am you sends pictures of Real Lennon’s thigh scars, Dylan and Real Lennon having sex video and OnlyFans password: L3m0n
Episode 4
- Opening of all of Real Lennon’s videos on OnlyFans
- AliLennon goes to Margot’s and tells her she may be right and that Lennison is after them
- Lyla on phone talking to reporter (?) while Bruce is giving her oral. Bruce accuses Kelly as being behind Johnny and coaches murders. Lyla shuts him down, Bruce leaves her pants less opens door to Courtney waiting on other side.
- AliLennon and Margot try to understand why Lennison is doing this.
- Riley finds Alison’s hoody on one of Dylan’s salt licks, Dylan believes she’s trying to communicate with him
- Lyla arrives at station and in morgue, steps on spider with her boot (08:26 of episode) *Not same boot that nudges Riley in Episode 6.
- Doug tells Lyla victim profile, Lyla says that it sounds like Doug then asks him what he knows about connection with Kelly
- Doug insists on examiner cracking open Johnny’s head, Lyla notices the spiders.
- “Alison” texts AliLennon tells her to meet at their shed, then sends message from Fred Philips about leaving him, Susan and his family alone.
- AliLennon goes into old room, finds “I’m here” note, chases after woman with long dark hair running away, runs to beach ends up in the ocean. Lennison’s body floats next to her.
- Lyla brings AliLennon to Bruce, Bruce identifies Lennison’s body, Lyla comforts him offers autopsy.
- OG crew meet to discuss who could be doing this now, Dylan talks about revenge and says he was in love with her.
- Bruce upset in truck after identifying Lennison, goes to Clara’s
Bruce and Clara Conversation:
C: What can I do for you?
B: They found my daughters body today.
C: Must be very upsetting.
B: Cut the crap. How long did you have her?
C: About a year. Kept hoping things would’ve turned out differently.
B: You should’ve told me.
C: Why? So you could tell me I was full of shit?
B: Because she’s my daughter.
C: I waited for the solstice, she’s not the one, so I did what I had to do. I left you the necklace.
B: I deserved to know where she was, what happened to her.
C: My loyalty’s not to you Bruce. I prepared your daughter to enter the next life, free from the burdens of this one. You should be happy. She’s getting the chance at redemption we never will.
B: This has nothing to do with us.
C: Everything is connected.
B: Do you know what it was like for her sister to find her body?
C: At least her twin mate is free.
B: She didn’t quite see it that way.
C: Well hopefully she will someday.
B: I protected you for a long time Clara, do not fuck with my daughter.
C: I protected you too, Bruce.
- Lyla interrogates Kelly about Coach and Dale, Doug discusses financials with Kelly’s son.
- Margot’s finger down Instagram live, Mei is filming, compliments that take is better, Margot gets landline call.
-At Lennison’s funeral, Dylan arrives early to apologize to her, AliLennon stands by listening.
-Doug leaves message for Lyla, exonerates Kelly, traces bitcoin payments from AllyWally OnlyFans to Dale.
- Clara makes appearance at funeral
- Margot binges cake, AliLennon finds her, apologizes for all the messed up stuff she has done to her in the past, they kiss, Bruce walks in
- Send off of Lennison, people on the beach watching: Bruce, AliLennon, Riley, Dylan, Margot, Mei, and Lyla. OG’s all get a text from “Alison,” Courtney screams in the background
-Bruce and Lyla enter the bathroom to find Doug dead on floor with throat slashed, Harold dead on toilet from gunshot wound to head, OG crew gets another text
Episode 5
- Opens to Margot’s livestreaming food binge.
- Cuts to city meeting with Lyla, Bruce, and Mei discussing the cases. AliLennon and Riley are at the back of the room, Riley questions AliLennon. Lyla’s mom brings up the cult and how “they almost destroyed us.”
-Dylan at cave carving Alison’s name, Clara walks in on him saying that won’t save him. Clara lets him know she saw him that night, as Dylan leaves she states, “There is no redemption in this life.”
- AliLennon and Margot are texting as Bruce is driving them home, warns her to be careful with Margot. She loved her sister not her.
- Margot goes to see Riley, they then go to Margot’s. Margot asks if Riley has noticed anything different with Lennon. Riley spills that Bruce and Lyla are sleeping together.
- Dylan gives Bruce a hug and says how much he misses Alison. Goes to see AliLennon to tell her about Clara.
- AliLennon tries to question Bruce about Clara.
- Everyone is questioned, the OG crew talks about the questioning, Bruce asks AliLennon about the Only Fans, the OG crew goes to Clara’s.
- Flashback conversation with Bruce and Margot parents. Mei and Carl are talking about how Mei shot burgler while pregnant and Carl was held at gunpoint. Real Lennon pulls Bruce to the side demanding Bruce tell Alison or she will.
- OG crew arrives at Clara’s. Dylan is wearing converse shoes with white laces, AliLennon in chucks (?), Margot heels. Dylan finds finds bees and honey and the Arctic spiders. AliLennon in different room camera lands on red book with gold cult symbol of her mother’s necklace. Grabs blue photo album and finds Clara and Bruce’s wedding photos.
- Mei tells Lyla and Kaloma about spiders coming from Arctic.
- Clara gets home, Dylan and Margot begin to run away, Dylan sends Margot alone to go back for Riley and AliLennon. Clara searches compound with shotgun. AliLennon takes pictures of photos, gets stuck in room until Dylan distracts Clara so she can get out. Dylan and AliLennon escape building, Dylan sends AliLennon off while he distracts Clara. While Clara is chasing Dylan with shotgun, Killer walks up and takes machete
- Mei finds proof of Margot’s binge eating, Margot arrives home with muddy bare feet, drops heels to floor. Mei goes to confront Margot, Margot breaks down as Mei comforts her.
- AliLennon waits for Bruce in darkness smoking to confront him about lying, leaves the house.
- We find out Bruce left Real Lennon on side of the road after fighting with her
- AliLennon goes to Margot’s, crawls into to bed with her.
- End with Riley gasping and bloody machete on the ground.
Episode 6
- Dylan hides from Clara with a goat.
- Riley gets off property, texts OG crew she’s out, tries to flag down truck that tries to run her over, gets hit by truck, calls Courtney for help, gets stabbed through chest with machete, falls to ground, killer chops Riley’s arm, Riley turns to look at killer, passes out. Killer nudges Riley with boot.
- Dylan drives away from Clara’s in black hoody now, passes Riley, doesn’t see her.
- Courtney wakes to find Riley missing.
- AliLennon is looking at wedding photos, her and Margot try to come up with ideas, Margot finds Fred on Linked in for AliLennon.
- Bruce goes to Margot’s to talk to AliLennon, Margot shoots him down, uses Kyle to intimidate him to leave. Bruce loses temper on SUV.
- Courtney goes to Dylan’s to find Riley, Dylan keeps eyeing his truck weirdly.
- Lyla, Kaloma, Mei, and examiner (Wade) at station talking about the spiders found on Harold, Doug, and Johnny. Wade leaves, Courtney comes in looking for Riley. Courtney threatens all the women that if something happened to Riley they will all wish they were dead because they won’t help her.
- Dylan, Margot, and AliLennon talk about Riley being missing. Dylan is now wearing boots. Kyle interrupts to take Margot to an appointment.
- Courtney goes to Bruce asking for him to get Lyla to look into Riley missing, mentions Lyla is too busy looking into spiders.
- Dylan and AliLennon are searching side of the road for Riley, AliLennon slips up forgetting Real Lennon’s valedictorian speech. AliLennon brings up a childhood memory of Dylan sticking up for Riley. Dylan confesses being into Lennon while in love with Alison. They find Riley’s severed arm.
- Bruce goes to Clara again:
B: The police found your spiders.
C: Two visits in one week, finding your way back?
B: You need to leave.
C: Someone broke in last night, went through the photo albums.
B: I told you to get rid of those.
C: You have no authority here, I know that makes you uncomfortable.
B: Just trying to help you.
C: I’m not the one who needs help.
B: Police are going to figure out where those spiders came from.
C: Even if I did leave, your secrets will still be here. You’re not wearing them well these days.
B: Clara, do you know what happened to Courtney Thacker’s daughter, Riley?
Clara doesn’t answer, walks away.
- Courtney gets text from “Riley” asking for help with pin location.
- Dylan and AliLennon bring Riley’s arm to Margot’s, decide to go back to Clara’s. Margot insists on bringing guns. They get a text with a pin location.
- Courtney follows pin location to cult property and is killed by a trap.
- AliLennon, Dylan, and Margot follow pin to the cliffs over the cave when they get another text from “Alison” saying Bye bye RiRi. Dylan throws his phone over cliff.
- Riley tries to find somewhere safe, cops pass her going to Clara’s property.
- Lyla finds the spiders, Kaloma finds Courtney’s body. Lyla appears visibly upset and sad.
- Bruce sneaks up on Margot, Dylan, and AliLennon. Margot pulls a gun. AliLennon sends Dylan and Margot away. Margot takes a dig at Dylan. Bruce confesses to AliLennon about cult, her mother, Fred Philips, why he lied, and that he left Lennison on the side of road.
- Mei tells Margot about Courtney, Margot then tells AliLennon and Dylan about it. They all then decide to stay at Margot’s.
- Riley almost makes it all the way home before having to lie down.
- AliLennon messages Fred and says to have her mother call her. Margot comes to tell her Dylan is gone, left “I’ll be back” note. Same handwriting as the I’m Here note left on Alison’s pillow in Episode 4. Margot tries to convince AliLennon that Dylan is the killer.
- Clara finds Riley’s body almost home.
- Dylan is in the cave carving Riley’s name. Once finished follows rat to back of the cave, discovers animal carcasses covered in honey.
- Clara pulls Riley’s body into the cave room where Dylan is, tells him the tide is coming in.
Trailer scenes left to happen:
- Body removal from cave
- Lyla in cave, later in waxed room of carcasses
- Margot confronting Dylan about just trying to save himself, Margot has butterfly stitches on her cheek
- AliLennon holding a butcher knife
- Bloody bathtub scene
- Margot attacked by hooded stranger
- Honey application to something in cave room
- Chainsaw scene
Pros/Cons/Motives for who is left:
- Kaloma: Pro: We really just don’t know much other than she is a big woman with shoes that make her silent. Con: Other than being close to Doug, we know nothing of her.
- AliLennon: Pro: To protect herself. All but one was her real friend. Con: She has said many times that she wishes she could just be herself again. She almost went to turn herself in. But if Johnny was only real friend, why would she start with him of all people?
- Lyla: Pro: To protect Bruce and AliLennon. She is the chief and can cover her tracks. She seemed to be the only person Doug told about the OnlyFans payments via voicemail. Con: Her boots do not match the boot that nudged Riley on the ground (Episode 4 08:26), She seemed visibly upset at Courtney’s death.
- Mei/Carl/Kyle: So I put them all together because I feel like there is only the slightest possibility of either one. Mei maybe slightly more than Carl or Kyle. We know they will all protect Margot. We know each knows how to use a gun. Possible motives: Johnny didn’t go to USC with Margot, Cruise may have been on to them, Mei is close to the case so she can protect Margot.
- Fred Philips: Right now he is just a picture. Well 2 pictures and one message to Real Lennon.
- Clara: Pro: She has cult beliefs that we don’t fully understand yet. She saw them leave Lennison in the cave. She drives a black truck. She breeds the spiders found on 3 of the bodies. Courtney and Riley were killed on her property. We know she and Bruce have a lot of secrets. Con: It seems too obvious since the first episode. Also what we have been shown she doesn’t seem that tech savvy. At the end of episode 5, the killer grabs the machete while Clara is chasing and shooting at Dylan. Motive: Revenge for the dead.
- Dylan: Pros: He loved Real Alison. He drives a truck and recently traded footwear. He has a lot of knowledge of the cult. Doesn’t really fit in with the rest of the OG crew. Went to MIT so would be able to rig those traps that killed Coach, Johnny, and Courtney. Has same handwriting as the “I’m Here” note. Wouldn’t be a far stretch to see him as the killer. Con: Why Johnny first, when they were the only ones at the beginning trying to do the right thing. Night of Riley’s stabbing he was wearing converse shoes and was running away from Clara’s gunfire/hiding with a goat when machete was grabbed. Admitted to having a thing for Lennon too, even while being in love with Alison. Motive: Revenge for Alison.
- Margot: Pros: Supposedly knew Real Lennon the best. Was in love with Real Lennon. Has shown her mean girl side many times. Knows how to use a gun. Quick to point the finger at other suspects. Knew about the OnlyFans. Weird landline call. “Turned off” Lennison’s phone (maybe took simcard). Cons: Only Harold was shot. Knowing the killer is only one person, unsure of how she could have physically carried out all the other murders. When the OG crew was at Clara’s she was at first in heels and then barefoot. Motive: She may know the truth about the switch and is seeking revenge as she was in love with Real Lennon.
- Bio-Mom HeatheSusan- Pro: We have learned she is alive. She was part of the cult. Con: Still to make an appearance. Why torture one daughter, especially the one that loved her most? How would she even know much about either twin since she left when they were 8?
-Bruce- Pro: He was the only one around to witness AliLennon’s slipups with Johnny and Harold. The only other person we know of for sure that knows about the switch, what happened, who was involved. Was part of the cult and knows Clara’s property. Saw the surveillance video of Dale harassing AliLennon. Con: Each time we see him he’s in flip flops. Why torture the daughter you are trying to protect? Motive: Revenge for cover-up, and to protect AliLennon.
Some other theories/questions:
- None of the OG crew knew about the switch due to Real Lennon supposed to be leaving the day after the grad party.
- In the trailer the man that attacks Margot, pay attention to the gait (how the man walks). With the suspects left only one of the 2 guys we see regularly has that specific gait, Bruce. Also instead of going to Lyla for help with finding Riley, he goes to Clara’s. Courtney is then lured into the trap on the property. He was also trying really hard to pin Johnny and Coache’s murder on Kelly. The spiders trace back to the cult.
- I think when the OG crew really believed that Lennison was behind it all, Dylan truly believed she was trying to communicate with him so I think he left the “I’m here” note in response to her hoody being left on his property.
- It’s possible that while Clara was outside the cave during the time they left Lennison’s body in the cave, another cult member may have been in the cave in Clara’s dead carcasses room which could account for the sound of someone breathing that Riley heard (bio-mom?).
Personally, I believe Bruce is the killer. I feel that’s where most of the evidence is leaning since it is only one person according to that cast interview. Problem is I could see it as 2 different people for different reasons. The first is Bruce is the killer and is trying to conceal AliLennon’s identity. But I could see Margot as being the one sending the texts and even the goat head and I know what you did last summer message on the mirror. I’m sure I’m missing a few of my thought processes in here. Didn’t realize it was gonna be as long as it is and I am now too tired to clearly think it all out lol.

I've always been a fan of wild adventures but this one I assure you wasn't one I wanted. Throughout all my writings you'll find what's left of the person of who I used to be.
2 weeks ago on the night of my birthday. After a crazy night, I figured I might relax a bit. I threw myself on my futon and decided to start listening to some of the tracks I just made, I listened to one track that got me thinking the track was dreams I can't reach and some of the lyrics made me a little unsure they went like this "I woke up one night in a daze crazed with fear as I noticed these wires attached to my ears I notice men in lab suits with instruments they told me to lie down and concentrate again and that's when I awoke once more to find myself in my bedroom lying on my floor" as I listened I started to remember the dream from that night but the problem was it seemed more real than a dream. So I thought well maybe someone has a theory about this type of matter. So I went on a forum and published my dream for public view and to receive comments to see if anyone else had a similar dream and this is when it started to get weird.
About a week later I had received a comment that kind of scared me. The poster was anonymous but his comment was this, "the answer you seek is not one you want”. I immediately responded and said, “you’ve got my attention I want to know what you know". An hour later I got another response from the same person. They said "what your referring to in your "dream" was an experiment done on certain people in which they are induced into a coma-like state where they relive their life according to what they program, they throw obstacles at you to see if you can accomplish their tasks, anyone who completes everything and gets to the age where they were subjected to the test will become". That's when the post ended, I began responding asking what they become, I waited 4 weeks and with no response, I began to get scared. I started researching about the information that was being told to me but every site with info on it was either shut down or the page was deleted. So I assumed I was fucked, but then it happened. I fell asleep that night and had the same dream but awoke to the men in lab suits speaking and what I heard was scary and unnerving " he's catching on there's a problem someone’s hacking in".
Then I woke up but I wasn't in my room I was in a psychiatric ward. I asked one of the staff members why I was here, he responded: " every night with you alright, look this is the last time, your parents were murdered and their killer was never caught and you insist it was men in lab coats now goodnight". I began to panic not knowing what the hell was happening here. I took a deep breath and let go of it slowly thinking about how I could make sense of all this. I sat on the cold plastic bedding on the twin-size bed in the dark, lonely room. I thought "what if I fell asleep would I wake up to my known reality?” So I began to lie down and started to drift off into a drowsy state. I was asleep and sure of it and saw once again the men in lab coats but for some strange reason, I didn't hear any noises. Then I awoke again, greeted by a voice "welcome back". I sigh with relief and say "thank god". I felt a sense of relief knowing that one voice was assurance enough to let me know everything is going to be ok. Yet I'm not sure if that is completely true due to recent incidents that have caused great confusion this far into this. Am I ready for what's next, or was this all a big dream from my big birthday party with all the shit I'd taken and done that night, so I ponder the thought this may be a drug-induced dream making it lucid? Who knows?
I looked around shocked that my idea worked. I looked towards the right and saw my mom in the doorway of my bedroom. I looked in her direction and said “How long have I been out for?". She looked towards me and laughed as if I was telling a joke, "well you went to your bed around 11 o'clock last night and keep mumbling something about a test, I assumed it was about school but then you started mentioning men in lab coats I thought it was a crazy dream, so I went to my bed and woke up around 5 am and you were screaming I went in and you suddenly stopped, it's 6 now so about 5 hours, honey I just wanted to know are you ok?" I looked at her and laughing in a fashion you'd see in a horror movie, replied "yeah mom, just had a bad nightmare I'm sure I'm fine everyone has one now and then" she shrugged her shoulders replying "well ok if you need to talk I'm here sweetie now get ready for school".
I got up looked around as if to let myself know everything’s ok it's was only a dream. I walked over to the dresser to get my Beatles T-shirt and some American eagle pants, the ones that are ripped on the knee. I couldn't find my Beatles T-shirt and thought maybe it wasn't a dream since I hadn't worn it yet because it was brand new and I just put it away yesterday I ran downstairs and asked my mom "Do you know where my Beatles T-shirt is?" She looked at me like I was crazy “Beatles T-shirt? When did you get it because I don't remember you getting one" I had a confused look on my face thinking that maybe I was still asleep or maybe she just didn't remember getting it with me at Spencer's I mean it was a Beatles revolver album cover T-shirt you don't just forget buying. I said " oh I guess I was thinking of something from my dream or something" she looked at me and shook her head and went back to drinking a cup of tea she just made and I ran back upstairs and grabbed my John Lennon NYC T-shirt and walked to the shower. I turned the faucet handle and it was new looking and I began thinking "when did we get this?” I brushed it off saying to myself if I keep questioning things I won't have a reality anymore. So I just thought I'll be fine I just need to see one of my friends to feel reassured.
I made it down to the bus stop 10 minutes early and just as I walked over I saw one of my friends Justin Ragogni. I sped over to him hoping maybe I could talk to him about all this, I mean, after all, he's the go-to guy for these types of problems. "Justin I was wondering.....after our G.E.D classes today you think we could chill?” He looked at me in a concerned fashion and said "sure man what's going on?” I paused trying to think of a reasonable explanation to tell him, but I couldn't at that point and time. "Well, this is going to sound a bit strange but well I have been having these weird experiences and dreams where, well I’m in a laboratory and these men in lab coats are watching from behind this enclosed room with a huge window and the last dream I had one of the men said he's not ready someone’s hacking in, put him out again, Justin looked at me with a scared look as if he had just seen a ghost.”Well, man, I know you think these are dreams but well there's more behind it than a simple dream, look we can't talk about this in public so after classes, we'll meet up at my house, ok?" I looked at him worried about the statement he just made and glanced down for a minute thinking about the commenter on the forum that day when he said it was more than a dream as well. "Yeah man I appreciate it, I’m not going to lie and am pretty nervous by what you said", he looked at me and said with a stern face "Your right to feel that way".
The bus starting rolling down the hill and I began to pick up my backpack when I noticed this weird shining light coming from inside the bus. The light itself was very odd; it wasn't too bright it was pretty dim. Just then the bus pulled up and the light was gone, so I got in and sat in the back and then I start to begin to feel a bit tired, so I rested my head on the cold metal in-between the seat and the interior of the bus. I began to start dosing off and that's when it happened, something I had been dreading since this all started. I started feeling what I got when I had the first experience with the psychiatric ward I was in when I awoke the first time and yet I still feel this feeling. When I awoke I knew what was going on from that second. It's happening again and I know where I am.
Again I’m here. I look around at the place I’ve grown to be familiar with but not happy to be in. This time around it was a very different experience, there were no men in lab coats, just me laying on the cold hard metal tray that they would normally use for morgues. I had these wires attached to me still, so I began to remove them. As I removed the wires I noticed that everything began to get brighter as if the wires were like a shield hiding the true essence of the room that I had become accustomed to. I got up to start looking around when a strange voice came over a speaker somewhere in the room. '' Welcome I’ve been waiting for you, look we don't have much time before they get back and find out what I did.". I looked around kind of confused, and responded "well I guess I don’t have a choice at this point say what you need to say" my heart started racing not knowing what the hell to expect this time. "Well look you have for the past 6 years been under a psychoactive sedation drug that more or less puts you into a controllable coma state where they have you go through the obstacles they want you to, once you complete them you will be one of....fuck I gotta go we'll speak more another time." I was overcome with fear at the notion that the voice seemed as if they were about to be in a mess of trouble. ''Well hello there, why aren’t you on the table?''. I responded ''Look I don't know who the fuck you are or why I keep coming back to this same place every fucking time I sleep I just want some fucking answers to why the fuck I’ve been here for 6 years of my life, that’s all I want to know and I want to go back to living a normal life and not this fucked up one you guys are creating for me''. The voice laughed in a demeaning matter ''Don't you remember, you wanted this and made this all possible without you this place wouldn’t be what it is today''. My eyes lit up in horror thinking on what was just told to me ''Look I have no fucking idea what you’re talking about but fuck this I’m done with this shit''. I glanced over towards the enclosed room but only to find a reflection of myself and as I looked at the reflection I noticed I wasn't 19 any longer I was at least in my 40's. "Well, I’m sorry to say there is no going back you're the last of the 10 people, but I digress I’ll make it simple for you, you’re not leaving this place until you finish". I began to get furious and that’s when 4 men came in all in hazmat suits. I looked at them knowing what my fate was. ''You can't do this forever I will get out of here you son of a bitch'' just as I finished that sentence that’s when the men grabbed me and all I remember was a sharp pain in my neck as if they stuck me with a needle. I began to get woozy then eventually I passed out. That's when it started again.
This time around I didn't feel right, something was wrong. Knowing what would happen would be a much-needed blessing at this time. I hope I get that soon or I'm not sure if I’ll ever be ok. This time I hope I get needs what to be done to be finished and yet I'm scared to know what is the real truth and answers in all of this bullshit.
I woke up to the sounds of chimes from a bell. I looked towards the right and notice a church with a church bell ringing loudly, indicated it was time for mass. I got up but I wasn't in my mom's house I was in my apartment I rented when I was 18 and I wasn't quite sure what was going to happen this time. I walked around my room and seemed as if I had just moved in. I remember around this time when I was moving in Justin was going to come by and visit, so I waited for him to open the door and surprise me. He was always the type of guy to surprise me to make me happy. Just as I was thinking about that I realized I had a black suit on, as if I just came from a funeral or going to one. Right then I received a call "Chris where are you?'' I was confused "Why what’s wrong?" there was a pause on the phone like I had just disrespected the person on the phone "Well I figured since your supposedly Justin's friend you'd be here after what’s happen''. I sat down in terror hoping she wasn't saying what I think she was saying "Look I'm not feeling right today can you remind me what happened?" She sighed slowly as if what she was going to tell me was going to crush my heart ''Don't you remember anything, Justin died in a car crash you we're in the crash you survived with minor injuries, and Justin well this is hard to say...." I looked around in sorrow knowing what I was being told and responded "please tell me I need to know" I started to hear her crying softly over the phone "He was driving and you guys were drunk and high and he crashed into a light post and his seat belt held him but his head went through the windshield and decapitated his head" all I heard after that was her crying severely and I couldn't figure out a way to comfort her.
I started going into shock after hearing all of this, this was way too much for me to handle with everything I’ve been going through. "Look everything is going to be ok we'll get through this, Justin was a great person and I have to man up and take the blame for all of this I shouldn't have let him drive and now life is worthless, I chose drugs over a friend and I don't deserve to live with what I have done" there was a silent pause and then she hung up. The fact that I am being thrown into all of these situations was hard enough but to lose a lifelong friend due to stupidity is one thing I cannot handle. I looked around once more and notice a letter unopened from Justin.

 I sat there for a minute just looking at the name on the letter, thinking back on all the shit we did together and now all I’m left with is memories of a past paradise. So I sat and began to wonder why if there was a God why would they make someone go through these horrible experiences, did God create us because there was a flaw in him and he couldn’t feel emotion so he created us so he could try to learn emotion? Again I'm sitting rambling to myself nothing but unanswerable questions that I may never find out. The fact of even knowing I lost someone or more or less everything in a blink of an eye and I don't even know what, why or who is doing this but I will find out, and when I do they'll pay for the death of my friend, even if they just fabricated it, the fact I still can feel the emotion I’m going through, which by the way would be as if you saw your friend get shot and did nothing to stop when you could. You may never know what this feels like and I hope you never do. The feeling is the darkest feeling you could think of and I wish that on no person, not even on my worst enemies. I kept perfectly still thinking about everything that just seemed to happen for no reason at all. 

Looking down from the letter, I noticed that there was a broken picture with a little bit of blood as if someone had just punched it out of rage. I looked at the photo and realized it was me and Justin back in Haver Middle School and a strange sense of relief with a little bit of depression came over me as if to say soon this will be done and you'll see the people who have caused you this pain. To an equal extent, I felt the depression because how do I know they didn't fabricate this event, I mean my whole look on reality at this point is diminishing to the where I may never know what is real or not again.
As I began looking at the letter again, I realized this may be the one message he left me to help me out and I damn sure am not going to stop fighting this battle. I sighed in a sort of nostalgic manner, recalling all of the crazy shit me and Justin went through and now.....well, I’m left with just the reminisce of yesteryear and nothing good in my eyes to look forward to. I rubbed my fingers over the name on the card as if to say my last and final goodbye not knowing what the future holds in store for me next. I slid my finger under the back flap of the envelope. I began opening the letter and was hoping for some information to help me out of this mess, instead, I got this confusing message ''When you awake go towards the hall near the room with the big open window, Right then and there I should be working on a computer I won’t have much time before they realize I have done this but please trust me to go there I’ll be waiting there". I kept reading the letter over and over again to see if I can get any ideas, I mean was he speaking of a video game or my dreams. I wasn't too sure so I said well I don't have a video console so it can in my mind mean only one thing the dreams.
So as I lay down on my bed with the letter in hand a lot of things began going through my mind. Why was I the one going through all of this and not someone else? Do I also have to wonder what they meant by I am the reason this is all possible? So many questions and not many answers for them. That’s when I decided it would be best if maybe I just laid down and try to go through what I have been, hoping maybe just maybe I might be able to stop all of this finally.
I began to feel drowsy with the notion of hoping to see my friend once again. Laying down I starting drifting more and more off into a R.E.M. mode, I felt as if I had just taken 20 Xanax Bars and 3 80 mg Oxycotin’s and snorted 4 huge rails of Coke all at once. That's when it began to start becoming more apparent that this was an induced state of consciousness. Starting to drift off I felt as if there would be an answer and though I may be parted there is still a chance I can finally let it be. That's the song that kept playing in my head was "Let It Be" but I felt it was the wrong song to be stuck in my head, I felt as if the song should have been "Happiness is A Warm gun" since I felt estranged from the emotions that I had at the time. Beginning to drift off into the unknown land I have been going to for a long time, to be honest, it has felt like years when it's probably been nothing more than a couple of weeks, months, shit I’m not sure what the fuck to think anymore.
I woke up in the lab once again, remembering what was written and left for me. I just wanted answers, so I began remembering the letter and the message and starting walking out of the lab, and surprisingly no men in lab coats this time. As I exited the room I noticed the room Justin was referring to so I preceded to the room with caution. When I had gotten to the door I saw a couple of weird-looking laptops. I looked to the right in the window and saw Justin on the computer and proceeded to walk in. I was very nervous for the fact I didn't know what I was getting myself into. I walked in a cautious state thinking they're maybe something that I’d feared from the beginning. The same question I kept repeating to myself "Do I want to know what reality is anymore?” So far this entire journey has been a cluster fuck of disaster with a sprinkle of chaos and a dash of torment on my soon-to-be-rested soul.
Opening the door with the confidence that I’d be ok at the end of all this. I held my breath and prepared for the worst. As soon as I walked in I saw Justin and right away said: "Ok you said you didn't have much time what’s the plan and what the hell is going on". A dead silence swept the room. "Well for one I'm not exactly who you think I am, look I’m going to be brief, My name is Michael Nurmac, I am an intelligence agent for this company before I go any further though I'm going to explain a little you are the creator of this place and I was told as was everybody we were not under any circumstances to help nor resuscitate you back to this state of conscientiousness, your mission you set for yourself was to see if people could relive events of their life but with minor adjustments the problem was that the people who took control after you went under decided that idea wasn't what they wanted, so instead they developed a new idea, one where the subjects would relive their life’s but with major obstacles such as friends dying and other such things to see if you could cope with the obstacles and anyone who completed the tasks to the controllers liking was assigned a position in the New World's Army" "Look that's all I can say before we get caught just know in these "Dreams" The one person who seems to be a bit weirder then usually is me especially if they know what you’re talking about, OK?" "Alright so what should I do now?" "Just go with the flow". "What does that mean?" "Look I can't explain any further, just go back into the room you were in and lie down and go back in, it'll be over soon"
I looked in horror thinking why the fuck would I go back in if I’m out, we'll some questions are better left unasked. I proceeded back into the room. "Ok now lie down and I’ll put you under" "ok then what?” He was silent then I heard a faint whisper saying "it's almost over".

I've always been a fan of wild adventures but this one I assure you wasn't one I wanted. Throughout all my writings you'll find what's left of the person of who I used to be.
2 weeks ago on the night of my birthday. After a crazy night, I figured I might relax a bit. I threw myself on my futon and decided to start listening to some of the tracks I just made, I listened to one track that got me thinking the track was dreams I can't reach and some of the lyrics made me a little unsure they went like this "I woke up one night in a daze crazed with fear as I noticed these wires attached to my ears I notice men in lab suits with instruments they told me to lie down and concentrate again and that's when I awoke once more to find myself in my bedroom lying on my floor" as I listened I started to remember the dream from that night but the problem was it seemed more real than a dream. So I thought well maybe someone has a theory about this type of matter. So I went on a forum and published my dream for public view and to receive comments to see if anyone else had a similar dream and this is when it started to get weird.
About a week later I had received a comment that kind of scared me. The poster was anonymous but his comment was this, "the answer you seek is not one you want”. I immediately responded and said, “you’ve got my attention I want to know what you know". An hour later I got another response from the same person. They said "what your referring to in your "dream" was an experiment done on certain people in which they are induced into a coma-like state where they relive their life according to what they program, they throw obstacles at you to see if you can accomplish their tasks, anyone who completes everything and gets to the age where they were subjected to the test will become". That's when the post ended, I began responding asking what they become, I waited 4 weeks and with no response, I began to get scared. I started researching about the information that was being told to me but every site with info on it was either shut down or the page was deleted. So I assumed I was fucked, but then it happened. I fell asleep that night and had the same dream but awoke to the men in lab suits speaking and what I heard was scary and unnerving " he's catching on there's a problem someone’s hacking in".
Then I woke up but I wasn't in my room I was in a psychiatric ward. I asked one of the staff members why I was here, he responded: " every night with you alright, look this is the last time, your parents were murdered and their killer was never caught and you insist it was men in lab coats now goodnight". I began to panic not knowing what the hell was happening here. I took a deep breath and let go of it slowly thinking about how I could make sense of all this. I sat on the cold plastic bedding on the twin-size bed in the dark, lonely room. I thought "what if I fell asleep would I wake up to my known reality?” So I began to lie down and started to drift off into a drowsy state. I was asleep and sure of it and saw once again the men in lab coats but for some strange reason, I didn't hear any noises. Then I awoke again, greeted by a voice "welcome back". I sigh with relief and say "thank god". I felt a sense of relief knowing that one voice was assurance enough to let me know everything is going to be ok. Yet I'm not sure if that is completely true due to recent incidents that have caused great confusion this far into this. Am I ready for what's next, or was this all a big dream from my big birthday party with all the shit I'd taken and done that night, so I ponder the thought this may be a drug-induced dream making it lucid? Who knows?
I looked around shocked that my idea worked. I looked towards the right and saw my mom in the doorway of my bedroom. I looked in her direction and said “How long have I been out for?". She looked towards me and laughed as if I was telling a joke, "well you went to your bed around 11 o'clock last night and keep mumbling something about a test, I assumed it was about school but then you started mentioning men in lab coats I thought it was a crazy dream, so I went to my bed and woke up around 5 am and you were screaming I went in and you suddenly stopped, it's 6 now so about 5 hours, honey I just wanted to know are you ok?" I looked at her and laughing in a fashion you'd see in a horror movie, replied "yeah mom, just had a bad nightmare I'm sure I'm fine everyone has one now and then" she shrugged her shoulders replying "well ok if you need to talk I'm here sweetie now get ready for school".
I got up looked around as if to let myself know everything’s ok it's was only a dream. I walked over to the dresser to get my Beatles T-shirt and some American eagle pants, the ones that are ripped on the knee. I couldn't find my Beatles T-shirt and thought maybe it wasn't a dream since I hadn't worn it yet because it was brand new and I just put it away yesterday I ran downstairs and asked my mom "Do you know where my Beatles T-shirt is?" She looked at me like I was crazy “Beatles T-shirt? When did you get it because I don't remember you getting one" I had a confused look on my face thinking that maybe I was still asleep or maybe she just didn't remember getting it with me at Spencer's I mean it was a Beatles revolver album cover T-shirt you don't just forget buying. I said " oh I guess I was thinking of something from my dream or something" she looked at me and shook her head and went back to drinking a cup of tea she just made and I ran back upstairs and grabbed my John Lennon NYC T-shirt and walked to the shower. I turned the faucet handle and it was new looking and I began thinking "when did we get this?” I brushed it off saying to myself if I keep questioning things I won't have a reality anymore. So I just thought I'll be fine I just need to see one of my friends to feel reassured.
I made it down to the bus stop 10 minutes early and just as I walked over I saw one of my friends Justin Ragogni. I sped over to him hoping maybe I could talk to him about all this, I mean, after all, he's the go-to guy for these types of problems. "Justin I was wondering.....after our G.E.D classes today you think we could chill?” He looked at me in a concerned fashion and said "sure man what's going on?” I paused trying to think of a reasonable explanation to tell him, but I couldn't at that point and time. "Well, this is going to sound a bit strange but well I have been having these weird experiences and dreams where, well I’m in a laboratory and these men in lab coats are watching from behind this enclosed room with a huge window and the last dream I had one of the men said he's not ready someone’s hacking in, put him out again, Justin looked at me with a scared look as if he had just seen a ghost.”Well, man, I know you think these are dreams but well there's more behind it than a simple dream, look we can't talk about this in public so after classes, we'll meet up at my house, ok?" I looked at him worried about the statement he just made and glanced down for a minute thinking about the commenter on the forum that day when he said it was more than a dream as well. "Yeah man I appreciate it, I’m not going to lie and am pretty nervous by what you said", he looked at me and said with a stern face "Your right to feel that way".
The bus starting rolling down the hill and I began to pick up my backpack when I noticed this weird shining light coming from inside the bus. The light itself was very odd; it wasn't too bright it was pretty dim. Just then the bus pulled up and the light was gone, so I got in and sat in the back and then I start to begin to feel a bit tired, so I rested my head on the cold metal in-between the seat and the interior of the bus. I began to start dosing off and that's when it happened, something I had been dreading since this all started. I started feeling what I got when I had the first experience with the psychiatric ward I was in when I awoke the first time and yet I still feel this feeling. When I awoke I knew what was going on from that second. It's happening again and I know where I am.
Again I’m here. I look around at the place I’ve grown to be familiar with but not happy to be in. This time around it was a very different experience, there were no men in lab coats, just me laying on the cold hard metal tray that they would normally use for morgues. I had these wires attached to me still, so I began to remove them. As I removed the wires I noticed that everything began to get brighter as if the wires were like a shield hiding the true essence of the room that I had become accustomed to. I got up to start looking around when a strange voice came over a speaker somewhere in the room. '' Welcome I’ve been waiting for you, look we don't have much time before they get back and find out what I did.". I looked around kind of confused, and responded "well I guess I don’t have a choice at this point say what you need to say" my heart started racing not knowing what the hell to expect this time. "Well look you have for the past 6 years been under a psychoactive sedation drug that more or less puts you into a controllable coma state where they have you go through the obstacles they want you to, once you complete them you will be one of....fuck I gotta go we'll speak more another time." I was overcome with fear at the notion that the voice seemed as if they were about to be in a mess of trouble. ''Well hello there, why aren’t you on the table?''. I responded ''Look I don't know who the fuck you are or why I keep coming back to this same place every fucking time I sleep I just want some fucking answers to why the fuck I’ve been here for 6 years of my life, that’s all I want to know and I want to go back to living a normal life and not this fucked up one you guys are creating for me''. The voice laughed in a demeaning matter ''Don't you remember, you wanted this and made this all possible without you this place wouldn’t be what it is today''. My eyes lit up in horror thinking on what was just told to me ''Look I have no fucking idea what you’re talking about but fuck this I’m done with this shit''. I glanced over towards the enclosed room but only to find a reflection of myself and as I looked at the reflection I noticed I wasn't 19 any longer I was at least in my 40's. "Well, I’m sorry to say there is no going back you're the last of the 10 people, but I digress I’ll make it simple for you, you’re not leaving this place until you finish". I began to get furious and that’s when 4 men came in all in hazmat suits. I looked at them knowing what my fate was. ''You can't do this forever I will get out of here you son of a bitch'' just as I finished that sentence that’s when the men grabbed me and all I remember was a sharp pain in my neck as if they stuck me with a needle. I began to get woozy then eventually I passed out. That's when it started again.
This time around I didn't feel right, something was wrong. Knowing what would happen would be a much-needed blessing at this time. I hope I get that soon or I'm not sure if I’ll ever be ok. This time I hope I get needs what to be done to be finished and yet I'm scared to know what is the real truth and answers in all of this bullshit.
I woke up to the sounds of chimes from a bell. I looked towards the right and notice a church with a church bell ringing loudly, indicated it was time for mass. I got up but I wasn't in my mom's house I was in my apartment I rented when I was 18 and I wasn't quite sure what was going to happen this time. I walked around my room and seemed as if I had just moved in. I remember around this time when I was moving in Justin was going to come by and visit, so I waited for him to open the door and surprise me. He was always the type of guy to surprise me to make me happy. Just as I was thinking about that I realized I had a black suit on, as if I just came from a funeral or going to one. Right then I received a call "Chris where are you?'' I was confused "Why what’s wrong?" there was a pause on the phone like I had just disrespected the person on the phone "Well I figured since your supposedly Justin's friend you'd be here after what’s happen''. I sat down in terror hoping she wasn't saying what I think she was saying "Look I'm not feeling right today can you remind me what happened?" She sighed slowly as if what she was going to tell me was going to crush my heart ''Don't you remember anything, Justin died in a car crash you we're in the crash you survived with minor injuries, and Justin well this is hard to say...." I looked around in sorrow knowing what I was being told and responded "please tell me I need to know" I started to hear her crying softly over the phone "He was driving and you guys were drunk and high and he crashed into a light post and his seat belt held him but his head went through the windshield and decapitated his head" all I heard after that was her crying severely and I couldn't figure out a way to comfort her.
I started going into shock after hearing all of this, this was way too much for me to handle with everything I’ve been going through. "Look everything is going to be ok we'll get through this, Justin was a great person and I have to man up and take the blame for all of this I shouldn't have let him drive and now life is worthless, I chose drugs over a friend and I don't deserve to live with what I have done" there was a silent pause and then she hung up. The fact that I am being thrown into all of these situations was hard enough but to lose a lifelong friend due to stupidity is one thing I cannot handle. I looked around once more and notice a letter unopened from Justin.

 I sat there for a minute just looking at the name on the letter, thinking back on all the shit we did together and now all I’m left with is memories of a past paradise. So I sat and began to wonder why if there was a God why would they make someone go through these horrible experiences, did God create us because there was a flaw in him and he couldn’t feel emotion so he created us so he could try to learn emotion? Again I'm sitting rambling to myself nothing but unanswerable questions that I may never find out. The fact of even knowing I lost someone or more or less everything in a blink of an eye and I don't even know what, why or who is doing this but I will find out, and when I do they'll pay for the death of my friend, even if they just fabricated it, the fact I still can feel the emotion I’m going through, which by the way would be as if you saw your friend get shot and did nothing to stop when you could. You may never know what this feels like and I hope you never do. The feeling is the darkest feeling you could think of and I wish that on no person, not even on my worst enemies. I kept perfectly still thinking about everything that just seemed to happen for no reason at all. 

Looking down from the letter, I noticed that there was a broken picture with a little bit of blood as if someone had just punched it out of rage. I looked at the photo and realized it was me and Justin back in Haver Middle School and a strange sense of relief with a little bit of depression came over me as if to say soon this will be done and you'll see the people who have caused you this pain. To an equal extent, I felt the depression because how do I know they didn't fabricate this event, I mean my whole look on reality at this point is diminishing to the where I may never know what is real or not again.
As I began looking at the letter again, I realized this may be the one message he left me to help me out and I damn sure am not going to stop fighting this battle. I sighed in a sort of nostalgic manner, recalling all of the crazy shit me and Justin went through and now.....well, I’m left with just the reminisce of yesteryear and nothing good in my eyes to look forward to. I rubbed my fingers over the name on the card as if to say my last and final goodbye not knowing what the future holds in store for me next. I slid my finger under the back flap of the envelope. I began opening the letter and was hoping for some information to help me out of this mess, instead, I got this confusing message ''When you awake go towards the hall near the room with the big open window, Right then and there I should be working on a computer I won’t have much time before they realize I have done this but please trust me to go there I’ll be waiting there". I kept reading the letter over and over again to see if I can get any ideas, I mean was he speaking of a video game or my dreams. I wasn't too sure so I said well I don't have a video console so it can in my mind mean only one thing the dreams.
So as I lay down on my bed with the letter in hand a lot of things began going through my mind. Why was I the one going through all of this and not someone else? Do I also have to wonder what they meant by I am the reason this is all possible? So many questions and not many answers for them. That’s when I decided it would be best if maybe I just laid down and try to go through what I have been, hoping maybe just maybe I might be able to stop all of this finally.
I began to feel drowsy with the notion of hoping to see my friend once again. Laying down I starting drifting more and more off into a R.E.M. mode, I felt as if I had just taken 20 Xanax Bars and 3 80 mg Oxycotin’s and snorted 4 huge rails of Coke all at once. That's when it began to start becoming more apparent that this was an induced state of consciousness. Starting to drift off I felt as if there would be an answer and though I may be parted there is still a chance I can finally let it be. That's the song that kept playing in my head was "Let It Be" but I felt it was the wrong song to be stuck in my head, I felt as if the song should have been "Happiness is A Warm gun" since I felt estranged from the emotions that I had at the time. Beginning to drift off into the unknown land I have been going to for a long time, to be honest, it has felt like years when it's probably been nothing more than a couple of weeks, months, shit I’m not sure what the fuck to think anymore.
I woke up in the lab once again, remembering what was written and left for me. I just wanted answers, so I began remembering the letter and the message and starting walking out of the lab, and surprisingly no men in lab coats this time. As I exited the room I noticed the room Justin was referring to so I preceded to the room with caution. When I had gotten to the door I saw a couple of weird-looking laptops. I looked to the right in the window and saw Justin on the computer and proceeded to walk in. I was very nervous for the fact I didn't know what I was getting myself into. I walked in a cautious state thinking they're maybe something that I’d feared from the beginning. The same question I kept repeating to myself "Do I want to know what reality is anymore?” So far this entire journey has been a cluster fuck of disaster with a sprinkle of chaos and a dash of torment on my soon-to-be-rested soul.
Opening the door with the confidence that I’d be ok at the end of all this. I held my breath and prepared for the worst. As soon as I walked in I saw Justin and right away said: "Ok you said you didn't have much time what’s the plan and what the hell is going on". A dead silence swept the room. "Well for one I'm not exactly who you think I am, look I’m going to be brief, My name is Michael Nurmac, I am an intelligence agent for this company before I go any further though I'm going to explain a little you are the creator of this place and I was told as was everybody we were not under any circumstances to help nor resuscitate you back to this state of conscientiousness, your mission you set for yourself was to see if people could relive events of their life but with minor adjustments the problem was that the people who took control after you went under decided that idea wasn't what they wanted, so instead they developed a new idea, one where the subjects would relive their life’s but with major obstacles such as friends dying and other such things to see if you could cope with the obstacles and anyone who completed the tasks to the controllers liking was assigned a position in the New World's Army" "Look that's all I can say before we get caught just know in these "Dreams" The one person who seems to be a bit weirder then usually is me especially if they know what you’re talking about, OK?" "Alright so what should I do now?" "Just go with the flow". "What does that mean?" "Look I can't explain any further, just go back into the room you were in and lie down and go back in, it'll be over soon"
I looked in horror thinking why the fuck would I go back in if I’m out, we'll some questions are better left unasked. I proceeded back into the room. "Ok now lie down and I’ll put you under" "ok then what?” He was silent then I heard a faint whisper saying "it's almost over".

I've always been a fan of wild adventures but this one I assure you wasn't one I wanted. Throughout all my writings you'll find what's left of the person of who I used to be.
2 weeks ago on the night of my birthday. After a crazy night, I figured I might relax a bit. I threw myself on my futon and decided to start listening to some of the tracks I just made, I listened to one track that got me thinking the track was dreams I can't reach and some of the lyrics made me a little unsure they went like this "I woke up one night in a daze crazed with fear as I noticed these wires attached to my ears I notice men in lab suits with instruments they told me to lie down and concentrate again and that's when I awoke once more to find myself in my bedroom lying on my floor" as I listened I started to remember the dream from that night but the problem was it seemed more real than a dream. So I thought well maybe someone has a theory about this type of matter. So I went on a forum and published my dream for public view and to receive comments to see if anyone else had a similar dream and this is when it started to get weird.
About a week later I had received a comment that kind of scared me. The poster was anonymous but his comment was this, "the answer you seek is not one you want”. I immediately responded and said, “you’ve got my attention I want to know what you know". An hour later I got another response from the same person. They said "what your referring to in your "dream" was an experiment done on certain people in which they are induced into a coma-like state where they relive their life according to what they program, they throw obstacles at you to see if you can accomplish their tasks, anyone who completes everything and gets to the age where they were subjected to the test will become". That's when the post ended, I began responding asking what they become, I waited 4 weeks and with no response, I began to get scared. I started researching about the information that was being told to me but every site with info on it was either shut down or the page was deleted. So I assumed I was fucked, but then it happened. I fell asleep that night and had the same dream but awoke to the men in lab suits speaking and what I heard was scary and unnerving " he's catching on there's a problem someone’s hacking in".
Then I woke up but I wasn't in my room I was in a psychiatric ward. I asked one of the staff members why I was here, he responded: " every night with you alright, look this is the last time, your parents were murdered and their killer was never caught and you insist it was men in lab coats now goodnight". I began to panic not knowing what the hell was happening here. I took a deep breath and let go of it slowly thinking about how I could make sense of all this. I sat on the cold plastic bedding on the twin-size bed in the dark, lonely room. I thought "what if I fell asleep would I wake up to my known reality?” So I began to lie down and started to drift off into a drowsy state. I was asleep and sure of it and saw once again the men in lab coats but for some strange reason, I didn't hear any noises. Then I awoke again, greeted by a voice "welcome back". I sigh with relief and say "thank god". I felt a sense of relief knowing that one voice was assurance enough to let me know everything is going to be ok. Yet I'm not sure if that is completely true due to recent incidents that have caused great confusion this far into this. Am I ready for what's next, or was this all a big dream from my big birthday party with all the shit I'd taken and done that night, so I ponder the thought this may be a drug-induced dream making it lucid? Who knows?
I looked around shocked that my idea worked. I looked towards the right and saw my mom in the doorway of my bedroom. I looked in her direction and said “How long have I been out for?". She looked towards me and laughed as if I was telling a joke, "well you went to your bed around 11 o'clock last night and keep mumbling something about a test, I assumed it was about school but then you started mentioning men in lab coats I thought it was a crazy dream, so I went to my bed and woke up around 5 am and you were screaming I went in and you suddenly stopped, it's 6 now so about 5 hours, honey I just wanted to know are you ok?" I looked at her and laughing in a fashion you'd see in a horror movie, replied "yeah mom, just had a bad nightmare I'm sure I'm fine everyone has one now and then" she shrugged her shoulders replying "well ok if you need to talk I'm here sweetie now get ready for school".
I got up looked around as if to let myself know everything’s ok it's was only a dream. I walked over to the dresser to get my Beatles T-shirt and some American eagle pants, the ones that are ripped on the knee. I couldn't find my Beatles T-shirt and thought maybe it wasn't a dream since I hadn't worn it yet because it was brand new and I just put it away yesterday I ran downstairs and asked my mom "Do you know where my Beatles T-shirt is?" She looked at me like I was crazy “Beatles T-shirt? When did you get it because I don't remember you getting one" I had a confused look on my face thinking that maybe I was still asleep or maybe she just didn't remember getting it with me at Spencer's I mean it was a Beatles revolver album cover T-shirt you don't just forget buying. I said " oh I guess I was thinking of something from my dream or something" she looked at me and shook her head and went back to drinking a cup of tea she just made and I ran back upstairs and grabbed my John Lennon NYC T-shirt and walked to the shower. I turned the faucet handle and it was new looking and I began thinking "when did we get this?” I brushed it off saying to myself if I keep questioning things I won't have a reality anymore. So I just thought I'll be fine I just need to see one of my friends to feel reassured.
I made it down to the bus stop 10 minutes early and just as I walked over I saw one of my friends Justin Ragogni. I sped over to him hoping maybe I could talk to him about all this, I mean, after all, he's the go-to guy for these types of problems. "Justin I was wondering.....after our G.E.D classes today you think we could chill?” He looked at me in a concerned fashion and said "sure man what's going on?” I paused trying to think of a reasonable explanation to tell him, but I couldn't at that point and time. "Well, this is going to sound a bit strange but well I have been having these weird experiences and dreams where, well I’m in a laboratory and these men in lab coats are watching from behind this enclosed room with a huge window and the last dream I had one of the men said he's not ready someone’s hacking in, put him out again, Justin looked at me with a scared look as if he had just seen a ghost.”Well, man, I know you think these are dreams but well there's more behind it than a simple dream, look we can't talk about this in public so after classes, we'll meet up at my house, ok?" I looked at him worried about the statement he just made and glanced down for a minute thinking about the commenter on the forum that day when he said it was more than a dream as well. "Yeah man I appreciate it, I’m not going to lie and am pretty nervous by what you said", he looked at me and said with a stern face "Your right to feel that way".
The bus starting rolling down the hill and I began to pick up my backpack when I noticed this weird shining light coming from inside the bus. The light itself was very odd; it wasn't too bright it was pretty dim. Just then the bus pulled up and the light was gone, so I got in and sat in the back and then I start to begin to feel a bit tired, so I rested my head on the cold metal in-between the seat and the interior of the bus. I began to start dosing off and that's when it happened, something I had been dreading since this all started. I started feeling what I got when I had the first experience with the psychiatric ward I was in when I awoke the first time and yet I still feel this feeling. When I awoke I knew what was going on from that second. It's happening again and I know where I am.
Again I’m here. I look around at the place I’ve grown to be familiar with but not happy to be in. This time around it was a very different experience, there were no men in lab coats, just me laying on the cold hard metal tray that they would normally use for morgues. I had these wires attached to me still, so I began to remove them. As I removed the wires I noticed that everything began to get brighter as if the wires were like a shield hiding the true essence of the room that I had become accustomed to. I got up to start looking around when a strange voice came over a speaker somewhere in the room. '' Welcome I’ve been waiting for you, look we don't have much time before they get back and find out what I did.". I looked around kind of confused, and responded "well I guess I don’t have a choice at this point say what you need to say" my heart started racing not knowing what the hell to expect this time. "Well look you have for the past 6 years been under a psychoactive sedation drug that more or less puts you into a controllable coma state where they have you go through the obstacles they want you to, once you complete them you will be one of....fuck I gotta go we'll speak more another time." I was overcome with fear at the notion that the voice seemed as if they were about to be in a mess of trouble. ''Well hello there, why aren’t you on the table?''. I responded ''Look I don't know who the fuck you are or why I keep coming back to this same place every fucking time I sleep I just want some fucking answers to why the fuck I’ve been here for 6 years of my life, that’s all I want to know and I want to go back to living a normal life and not this fucked up one you guys are creating for me''. The voice laughed in a demeaning matter ''Don't you remember, you wanted this and made this all possible without you this place wouldn’t be what it is today''. My eyes lit up in horror thinking on what was just told to me ''Look I have no fucking idea what you’re talking about but fuck this I’m done with this shit''. I glanced over towards the enclosed room but only to find a reflection of myself and as I looked at the reflection I noticed I wasn't 19 any longer I was at least in my 40's. "Well, I’m sorry to say there is no going back you're the last of the 10 people, but I digress I’ll make it simple for you, you’re not leaving this place until you finish". I began to get furious and that’s when 4 men came in all in hazmat suits. I looked at them knowing what my fate was. ''You can't do this forever I will get out of here you son of a bitch'' just as I finished that sentence that’s when the men grabbed me and all I remember was a sharp pain in my neck as if they stuck me with a needle. I began to get woozy then eventually I passed out. That's when it started again.
This time around I didn't feel right, something was wrong. Knowing what would happen would be a much-needed blessing at this time. I hope I get that soon or I'm not sure if I’ll ever be ok. This time I hope I get needs what to be done to be finished and yet I'm scared to know what is the real truth and answers in all of this bullshit.
I woke up to the sounds of chimes from a bell. I looked towards the right and notice a church with a church bell ringing loudly, indicated it was time for mass. I got up but I wasn't in my mom's house I was in my apartment I rented when I was 18 and I wasn't quite sure what was going to happen this time. I walked around my room and seemed as if I had just moved in. I remember around this time when I was moving in Justin was going to come by and visit, so I waited for him to open the door and surprise me. He was always the type of guy to surprise me to make me happy. Just as I was thinking about that I realized I had a black suit on, as if I just came from a funeral or going to one. Right then I received a call "Chris where are you?'' I was confused "Why what’s wrong?" there was a pause on the phone like I had just disrespected the person on the phone "Well I figured since your supposedly Justin's friend you'd be here after what’s happen''. I sat down in terror hoping she wasn't saying what I think she was saying "Look I'm not feeling right today can you remind me what happened?" She sighed slowly as if what she was going to tell me was going to crush my heart ''Don't you remember anything, Justin died in a car crash you we're in the crash you survived with minor injuries, and Justin well this is hard to say...." I looked around in sorrow knowing what I was being told and responded "please tell me I need to know" I started to hear her crying softly over the phone "He was driving and you guys were drunk and high and he crashed into a light post and his seat belt held him but his head went through the windshield and decapitated his head" all I heard after that was her crying severely and I couldn't figure out a way to comfort her.
I started going into shock after hearing all of this, this was way too much for me to handle with everything I’ve been going through. "Look everything is going to be ok we'll get through this, Justin was a great person and I have to man up and take the blame for all of this I shouldn't have let him drive and now life is worthless, I chose drugs over a friend and I don't deserve to live with what I have done" there was a silent pause and then she hung up. The fact that I am being thrown into all of these situations was hard enough but to lose a lifelong friend due to stupidity is one thing I cannot handle. I looked around once more and notice a letter unopened from Justin.

 I sat there for a minute just looking at the name on the letter, thinking back on all the shit we did together and now all I’m left with is memories of a past paradise. So I sat and began to wonder why if there was a God why would they make someone go through these horrible experiences, did God create us because there was a flaw in him and he couldn’t feel emotion so he created us so he could try to learn emotion? Again I'm sitting rambling to myself nothing but unanswerable questions that I may never find out. The fact of even knowing I lost someone or more or less everything in a blink of an eye and I don't even know what, why or who is doing this but I will find out, and when I do they'll pay for the death of my friend, even if they just fabricated it, the fact I still can feel the emotion I’m going through, which by the way would be as if you saw your friend get shot and did nothing to stop when you could. You may never know what this feels like and I hope you never do. The feeling is the darkest feeling you could think of and I wish that on no person, not even on my worst enemies. I kept perfectly still thinking about everything that just seemed to happen for no reason at all. 

Looking down from the letter, I noticed that there was a broken picture with a little bit of blood as if someone had just punched it out of rage. I looked at the photo and realized it was me and Justin back in Haver Middle School and a strange sense of relief with a little bit of depression came over me as if to say soon this will be done and you'll see the people who have caused you this pain. To an equal extent, I felt the depression because how do I know they didn't fabricate this event, I mean my whole look on reality at this point is diminishing to the where I may never know what is real or not again.
As I began looking at the letter again, I realized this may be the one message he left me to help me out and I damn sure am not going to stop fighting this battle. I sighed in a sort of nostalgic manner, recalling all of the crazy shit me and Justin went through and now.....well, I’m left with just the reminisce of yesteryear and nothing good in my eyes to look forward to. I rubbed my fingers over the name on the card as if to say my last and final goodbye not knowing what the future holds in store for me next. I slid my finger under the back flap of the envelope. I began opening the letter and was hoping for some information to help me out of this mess, instead, I got this confusing message ''When you awake go towards the hall near the room with the big open window, Right then and there I should be working on a computer I won’t have much time before they realize I have done this but please trust me to go there I’ll be waiting there". I kept reading the letter over and over again to see if I can get any ideas, I mean was he speaking of a video game or my dreams. I wasn't too sure so I said well I don't have a video console so it can in my mind mean only one thing the dreams.
So as I lay down on my bed with the letter in hand a lot of things began going through my mind. Why was I the one going through all of this and not someone else? Do I also have to wonder what they meant by I am the reason this is all possible? So many questions and not many answers for them. That’s when I decided it would be best if maybe I just laid down and try to go through what I have been, hoping maybe just maybe I might be able to stop all of this finally.
I began to feel drowsy with the notion of hoping to see my friend once again. Laying down I starting drifting more and more off into a R.E.M. mode, I felt as if I had just taken 20 Xanax Bars and 3 80 mg Oxycotin’s and snorted 4 huge rails of Coke all at once. That's when it began to start becoming more apparent that this was an induced state of consciousness. Starting to drift off I felt as if there would be an answer and though I may be parted there is still a chance I can finally let it be. That's the song that kept playing in my head was "Let It Be" but I felt it was the wrong song to be stuck in my head, I felt as if the song should have been "Happiness is A Warm gun" since I felt estranged from the emotions that I had at the time. Beginning to drift off into the unknown land I have been going to for a long time, to be honest, it has felt like years when it's probably been nothing more than a couple of weeks, months, shit I’m not sure what the fuck to think anymore.
I woke up in the lab once again, remembering what was written and left for me. I just wanted answers, so I began remembering the letter and the message and starting walking out of the lab, and surprisingly no men in lab coats this time. As I exited the room I noticed the room Justin was referring to so I preceded to the room with caution. When I had gotten to the door I saw a couple of weird-looking laptops. I looked to the right in the window and saw Justin on the computer and proceeded to walk in. I was very nervous for the fact I didn't know what I was getting myself into. I walked in a cautious state thinking they're maybe something that I’d feared from the beginning. The same question I kept repeating to myself "Do I want to know what reality is anymore?” So far this entire journey has been a cluster fuck of disaster with a sprinkle of chaos and a dash of torment on my soon-to-be-rested soul.
Opening the door with the confidence that I’d be ok at the end of all this. I held my breath and prepared for the worst. As soon as I walked in I saw Justin and right away said: "Ok you said you didn't have much time what’s the plan and what the hell is going on". A dead silence swept the room. "Well for one I'm not exactly who you think I am, look I’m going to be brief, My name is Michael Nurmac, I am an intelligence agent for this company before I go any further though I'm going to explain a little you are the creator of this place and I was told as was everybody we were not under any circumstances to help nor resuscitate you back to this state of conscientiousness, your mission you set for yourself was to see if people could relive events of their life but with minor adjustments the problem was that the people who took control after you went under decided that idea wasn't what they wanted, so instead they developed a new idea, one where the subjects would relive their life’s but with major obstacles such as friends dying and other such things to see if you could cope with the obstacles and anyone who completed the tasks to the controllers liking was assigned a position in the New World's Army" "Look that's all I can say before we get caught just know in these "Dreams" The one person who seems to be a bit weirder then usually is me especially if they know what you’re talking about, OK?" "Alright so what should I do now?" "Just go with the flow". "What does that mean?" "Look I can't explain any further, just go back into the room you were in and lie down and go back in, it'll be over soon"
I looked in horror thinking why the fuck would I go back in if I’m out, we'll some questions are better left unasked. I proceeded back into the room. "Ok now lie down and I’ll put you under" "ok then what?” He was silent then I heard a faint whisper saying "it's almost over".

I've always been a fan of wild adventures but this one I assure you wasn't one I wanted. Over the course of all my writings you'll find what's left of the person of who I used to be. 2 weeks ago on the night of my birthday. After a crazy night I figured I might relax a bit. I threw myself on my futon and decided to start listening to some of the tracks I just made, I listened to one track that got me thinking the track was dreams I can't reach and some of the lyrics made me a little unsure they went like this "I woke up one night in a daze crazed with fear as I noticed these wires attached to my ears I notice men in lab suits with instruments they told me to lie down and concentrate again and that's when I awoke once more to find myself in my bedroom lying on my floor" as I listened I started to remember the dream from that night but the problem was it seemed more real than a dream. So I thought well maybe someone has a theory about this type of matter. So I went on a forum and published my dream for public view and to receive comments to see if anyone else had a similar dream and this is when it started to get really weird. About a week later I had received a comment that kind of scared me. The poster was anonymous but his comment was this, "the answer you seek is not one you want”. I immediately responded and said “you’ve got my attention I want to know what you know". An hour later I got another response from the same person. They said "what your referring to in your "dream" was a experiment done to certain people in which they are induced into a coma like state where they relive their life according to what they program, they throw obstacles at you to see if you can accomplish their tasks, anyone who completes everything and gets to the age where they were subjected to the test will become". That's when the posted ended, I began responding asking what they become, I waited 4 weeks and no response I began to get scared. I started researching about the information that was being told to me but every site with info on it was either shut down or the page was deleted. So I assumed I was fucked, but then it happened. I fell asleep that night and had the same dream but awoke to the men in lab suits speaking and what I heard was scary and unnerving " he's catching on there's a problem someone’s hacking in". Then I woke up but I wasn't in my room I was in a psychiatric ward. I asked one of the staff members why I was here, he responded " every night with you alright, look this is the last time, your parents were murdered and they're killer was never caught and you insist it was men in lab coats now goodnight". I began to panic not knowing what the hell was happening here. I took a deep breath and let go of it slowly thinking on how I could make sense of all this. I sat on the cold plastic bedding on the twin size bed in the dark, lonely room. I thought "what if I fell asleep would I wake up to my known reality?” So I began to lie down and started to drift off into a drowsy state. I was asleep and sure of it and saw once again the men in lab coats but for some strange reason I didn't hear any noises. Then I awoke again, greeted by a voice "welcome back". I sigh with relief and say "thank god". I felt a sense of relief knowing that one voice was assurance enough to let me know everything is going to be ok. Yet I'm not sure if that is completely true due to recent incidents that have caused a great confusion this far into this. Am I ready for what's next, or was this all a big dream from my big birthday party with all the shit I'd taken and done that night, so I ponder the thought this maybe a drug induced dream making it lucid. Who knows? I looked around shocked that my idea really worked. I looked towards the right and saw my mom in the doorway of my bedroom. I looked in her direction and said “How long have I been out for?". She looked towards me and laughed as if I was telling a joke, "well you went to your bed around 11 o'clock last night and keep mumbling something about a test, I assumed it was about school but then you started mentioning men in lab coats I thought it was a crazy dream, so I went to my bed and woke up around 5 am and you were screaming I went in and you suddenly stopped, its 6 now so about 5 hours, honey I just wanted to know are you ok?" I looked at her and laughing in a fashion you'd see in a horror movie, replied "yeah mom, just had a bad nightmare I'm sure I'm fine everyone has one now and then" she shrugged her shoulders replying "well ok if you need to talk I'm here sweetie now get ready for school". I got up looked around as if to let myself know everything’s ok it's was only a dream. I walked over to the dresser to get my Beatles T-shirt and some American eagle pants, the ones that are ripped on the knee. I couldn't find my Beatles T-shirt and thought maybe it wasn't a dream due to the fact that I hadn't worn it yet because it was brand new and I just put it away yesterday I ran downstairs and asked my mom "Do you know where my Beatles T-shirt is?" She looked at me like I was crazy “Beatles T-shirt? When did you get it because I don't remember you getting one" I had a confused look on my face thinking that maybe I was still asleep or maybe she just didn't remember getting it with me at Spencer's I mean it was a Beatles revolver album cover T-shirt you don't just forget buying. I said " oh I guess I was thinking of something from my dream or something" she looked at me and shook her head and went back to drinking a cup of tea she just made and I ran back upstairs and grabbed my John Lennon NYC T-shirt and walked to the shower. I turned the facet handle and it was new looking and I began thinking "when did we get this?” I brushed it off saying to myself if I keep questioning things I won't have a reality anymore. So I just thought I'll be fine I just need to see one of my friends to feel reassured. I made it down to the bus stop 10 minutes early and just as I walked over I saw one of my friends Justin Ragogni. I sped over to him hoping maybe I could talk to him about all this, I mean after all he's the go-to guy for these types of problems. "Justin I was wondering.....after our G.E.D classes today you think we could chill?” He looked at me in a concerned fashion and said "sure man what's going on?” I paused trying to think of a reasonable explanation to tell him, but I couldn't at that point and time. "Well, this is going to sound a bit strange but well I have been having these weird experiences and dreams where, well I’m in a laboratory and these men in lab coats are watching from behind this enclosed room with a huge window and the last dream I had one of the men said he's not ready someone’s hacking in, put him out again, Justin looked at me with a scared look as if he had just seen a ghost.”Well, man I know you think these are dreams but well there's more behind it then a simple dream, look we can't in talk about this in public so after classes we'll meet up at my house, ok?" I looked at him worried about the statement he just made and glanced down for a minute thinking about the commenter on the forum that day when he said it was more than a dream as well. "Yeah man I appreciate it, I’m not going to lie and am pretty nervous by what you said", he looked at me and said with a stern face "Your right to feel that way". The bus starting rolling down the hill and I began to pick up my backpack when I noticed this weird shining light coming from inside the bus. The light itself was very odd; it wasn't too bright it was actually pretty dim. Just then the bus pulled up and the light was gone, so I got in and sat all the way in the back and then I start to begin to feel a bit tired, so I rested my head on the cold metal in-between the seat and the interior of the bus. I began to start dosing off and that's when it happened, something I had been dreading since this all started. I started feeling that I got when I had the first experience with the psychiatric ward I was in when I awoke the first time and yet I still feel this feeling. When I awoke I knew what was going on from that second. It's happening again and I know where I am.
Again I’m here. I look around at the place I’ve grown to be familiar with but not happy to be in. This time around it was very different experience, there were no men in lab coats, just me laying on the cold hard metal tray that they would normally use for morgues. I had these wires attached to me still, so I began to remove them .As I removed the wires I noticed that everything began to get brighter as if the wires were like a shield hiding the true essence of the room that I had become accustomed to. I got up to start looking around when a strange voice came over a speaker somewhere in the room. '' Welcome I’ve been waiting for you, look we don't have much time before they get back and find out what I did.". I looked around kind of confused and responded back "well I guess I don’t have a choice at this point say what you need to say" my heart started racing not knowing what the hell to expect this time. "Well look you have for the past 6 years been under a psycho active sedation drug that more or less puts you into a controllable coma state where they have you go through the obstacles they want you to, once you complete them you will be one of....fuck I gotta go we'll speak more another time." I was overcome with fear at the notion that the voice seemed as if they were about to be in a mess of trouble. ''Well hello there, why aren’t you on the table?''. I responded back ''Look I don't know who the fuck you are or why I keep coming back to this same place every fucking time I sleep I just want some fucking answers to why the fuck I’ve been here for 6 years of my life, that’s all I want to know and I want to go back to living a normal life and not this fucked up one you guys are creating for me''. The voice laughed in a demeaning matter ''Don't you remember, you wanted this and made this all possible without you this place wouldn’t be what it is today''. My eyes lit up in horror thinking on what was just told to me ''Look I have no fucking idea what you’re talking about but fuck this I’m done with this shit''. I glanced over towards the enclosed room but only to find a reflection of myself and as I looked at the reflection I noticed I wasn't 19 any longer I was at least in my 40's. "Well, I’m sorry to say there is no going back your the last of the 10 people, but I digress I’ll make it simple for you, you’re not leaving this place until you finish". I began to get furious and that’s when 4 men came in all in hazmat suits. I looked at them knowing what my fate was. ''You can't do this forever I will get out of here you son of a bitch'' just as I finished that sentence that’s when the men grabbed me and all I remember was a sharp pain in my neck as if they stuck me with a needle. I began to get woozy then eventually I passed out. That's when it started again.
This time around I didn't feel right, something was wrong. Knowing what would happen would be a much needed blessing at this time. I hope I get that soon or I'm not sure if I’ll ever be ok. This time I hope I get needs what to be done to be finish and yet I'm scared to know what is the real truth and answers in all of this bullshit.
I woke up to the sounds of chimes from a bell. I looked towards the right and notice a church with a church bell ringing loudly, indicated it was time for mass. I got up but I wasn't in my mom's house I was in my apartment I rented when I was 18 and I wasn't quite sure what was going to happened this time. I walked around my room and seemed as if I had just moved in. I remember around this time when I was moving in Justin was going to come by and visit, so I waited for him to open the door and surprise me. He was always the type of guy to surprise me to make me happy. Just as I was thinking about that I realized I had a black suit on, as if I just came from a funeral or going to one. Right then I received a call "Chris where are you?'' I was confused "Why what’s wrong?" there was a pause on the phone like I had just disrespected the person on the phone "Well I figured since your supposedly Justin's friend you'd be here after what’s happen''. I sat down in terror hoping she wasn't saying what I think she was saying "Look I'm not feeling right today can you remind what happened?" She sighed in a slow manner as if what she was going to tell me was going to crush my heart ''Don't you remember anything, Justin died in a car crash you we're in the crash you survived with minor injuries, and Justin well this is hard to say...." I looked around in sorrow knowing what I was being told and responded "please tell me I need to know" I started to hear her crying softly over the phone "He was driving and you guys we're drunk and high and he crashed into a light post and his seat belt held him but his head went through the windshield and decapitated his head" all I heard after that was her crying severely and I couldn't figure out a way to to comfort her. I started going into shock after hearing all of this, this was way too much for me to handle with everything I’ve been going through. "Look everything is going to be ok we'll get through this, Justin was a great person and I have to man up and take the blame for all of this I shouldn't have let him drive and now life is worthless, I chose drugs over a friend and I don't deserve to live with what I have done" there was a silent pause and then she hung up. The fact that I am being thrown into all of these situations was hard enough but to lose a lifelong friend due to stupidity is one thing I cannot handle. I looked around once more and notice a letter unopened from Justin. I sat there for a minute just looking at the name on the letter, thinking back on all the shit we did together and now all I’m left with is memories of a past paradise. So I sat and began to wonder why if there was a God why would they make someone go through these horrible experiences, did God create us because there was a flaw in him and he couldn’t feel emotion so he created us so he could try to learn emotion? Again I'm sitting rambling to myself nothing but unanswerable questions that I may never find out. The fact of even knowing I lost someone or more or less everything in a blink of a eye and I don't even know what, why or who is doing this but I will find out and when I do they'll pay for the death of my friend, even if they just fabricated it, the fact I still can actually feel the emotion I’m going through, which by the way would be as if you saw your friend get shot and did nothing to stop when you could. You may never know what this feels like and I hope you never do. The feeling is the darkest feeling you could possibly think of and I wish that on no person, not even on my worst enemies. I kept perfectly still thinking on everything that just seemed to happen for no reason at all. Looking down from the letter, I noticed that there was a broken picture with a little bit of blood as if someone had just punched it out of rage. I looked at the photo and realized it was me and Justin back in Haver Middle School and a strange sense of relief with a little bit of depression came over me as if to say soon this will be done and you'll see the people who have caused you this pain. To an equal extent I felt the depression because how do I know they didn't fabricate this event, I mean my whole look on reality at this point is diminishing to the where I may never know what is real or not again. As I began looking at the letter again, I realized this maybe the one message he left me to help me out and I damn sure am not going to stop fighting this battle. I sighed in a sort of nostalgic manner, recalling all of the crazy shit me and Justin went through and now.....well, I’m left with just the reminisce of yesteryear and nothing good in my eyes to look forward to. I rubbed my fingers over the name on the card as if to say my last and final goodbye not knowing what the future holds in store for me next. I slid my finger under the back flap of the envelope. I began opening the letter and was hoping for some information to help me out of this mess, instead I got this confusing message ''When you awake go towards the hall near the room with the big open window, Right then and there I should be working on a computer I won’t have much time before they realize I have done this but please trust me go there I’ll be waiting there". I kept reading the letter over and over again to see if I can get any ideas, I mean was he speaking of a video game or my dreams. I wasn't too sure so I said well I don't have a video console so it can in my mind mean only one thing the dreams. So as I lay down on my bed with the letter in hand a lot of things began go through my mind. Why was I the one going through all of this and not someone else? I also have to wonder what they meant by I am the reason this is all possible? So many questions and not any answers for them. That’s when I decided it would be best if maybe I just laid down and try to go through what I have been, hoping maybe just maybe I might be able to stop all of this finally.
I began to feel drowsy with the notion of hoping to see my friend once again. Laying down I starting drifting more and more off into a R.E.M. mode, I felt as if I had just took 20 Xanax Bars and 3 80 mg Oxycotin’s and snorted 4 huge rails of Coke all at once. That's when it began to start becoming more apparent that this was an induced state of consciousness. Starting to drift off I felt as if there would be an answer and though I may be parted there is still a chance I can finally let it be. That's the song that kept playing in my head was "Let It Be" but I felt it was the wrong song to be stuck in my head, I felt as if the song should have been "Happiness is A Warm gun" due to the fact that I felt estranged from the emotions that I had at the time. Beginning to drift off into the unknown land I have been going to for a long time, to be honest it has felt like years when it's probably been nothing more than a couple of weeks, months, shit I’m not sure what the fuck to think anymore. I woke up in the lab once again, remembering what was written and left for me. I just wanted answers, so I began remembering the letter and the message and starting walking out of the lab and surprisingly no men in lab coats this time. As I exited the room I noticed the room Justin was referring to so I preceded to the room with caution. When I had gotten to the door I saw a couple of weird looking laptops. I looked to the right in the window and saw Justin on the computer and proceeded to walk-in. I was very nervous for the fact I didn't know what I was getting myself into. I walked in a cautious state thinking they're maybe something that I’d feared from the beginning. The same question I kept repeating to myself "Do I want to know what reality is anymore?” So far this entire journey has been a cluster fuck of disaster with a sprinkle of chaos and a dash of torment on my soon to be rested soul. Opening the door with the confidence that I’d be ok at the end of all this. I held my breath and prepared for the worst. As soon as I walked in I saw Justin and right away said "Ok you said you didn't have much time what’s the plan and what the hell is going on". A dead silence swept the room. "Well for one I'm not exactly who you think I am, look I’m going to be brief, My name is Michael Nurmac, I am an intelligence agent for this company before I go any further though I'm going to explain a little you are the creator of this place and I was told as was everybody we were not under any circumstances to help nor resuscitate you back to this state of conscientiousness, your mission you set for yourself was to see if people could relive events of their life but with minor adjustments the problem was that the people who took control after you went under decided that idea wasn't what they wanted, so instead they developed a new idea, one where the subjects would relive their life’s but with major obstacles such as friends dying and other such things to see if you could cope with the obstacles and anyone who completed the tasks to the controllers liking was assigned a position in the New World's Army" "Look that's all I can say before we get caught just know in these "Dreams" The one person who seems to be a bit weirder then usually is me especially if they know what you’re talking about, OK?" "Alright so what should I do now?" "Just go with the flow". "What does that mean?" "Look I can't explain any further, just go back into the room you were in and lie down and go back in, it'll be over soon" I looked in horror thinking why the fuck would I go back in if I’m out, we'll some questions are better left unasked. I proceeded back into the room. "Ok now lie down and I’ll put you under" "ok then what?” He was silent then I heard a faint whisper saying "it's almost over".

RAPPEL : la liste à jour triée par thèmes et par dynamisme est ici.
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2016

I get it - evolving Pokemon isn't meant to be a cakewalk. Evolutions are a reward for committing to a Pokemon for long enough to earn a form truly capable of mass destruction, and if that means I need to strap the exp. share chastity belt to my Gible for 15 hours until it becomes viable, I'm fine with that. I'm also fine with Pokemon that need evolutionary stones or trading to evolve, because the little "side quest" can become a (sometimes) fun diversion during your journey. You know what isn't fun? Children.
PART ONE - y'know, if we really wanted to stop global warming, we'd stop having kids
Personally, I think Gen 4 tends to get a bit more credit than it deserves when it comes to all the "cOoL nEw FoRmS" it added. Electivire? That's badass. Lickylicky?? Double badass. Budew, Chingling, Bonsly, Mime Jr., Happiny, Munchlax, Riolu, and Mantyke??? Significantly less badass, and the embodiment of nuzlocke deadweight. These guys are EVERYWHERE during runs, and much like real babies, these guys are shit in fights.
But hey! I'm sure these guys at least have the benefit of evolving quickly, right? I mean, us humans are babies for like, two years out of an eighty year life, so they ought to evolve at level 3 or something, yeah? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAno. No, instead you'll be rocking a level 25 Budew that will inevitably be killed by a Staravia that looked at it funny. Low hanging political jokes aside, have you ever met a 25 year old human baby? Didn't think so.
PART TWO - "All you need is love"
As it turns out, the way to evolve most of these tiny warriors into slightly more sizable warriors is by offering them love and care, just as you'd raise a young child. In fact, that seems to be a common thread for a lot of Pokemon that are accessible in Gen IV, including most of the aforementioned toddlers, Pichu, Buneary, and Cleffa, who all evolve by building strong bonds on a foundation of tender affection.
........I hate happiness.
I mean REALLY, I'm playing a version of Pokemon where I deposit my dead friends into the morgue like a suit at the dry cleaner, and you're telling me that I gotta make them feel all cozy and safe? Lunacy, I tell you. Sorry if I'm not exactly peppy around you, Brocc the Budew, but if we're all being honest here, you're bound to get your corn on the cob looking-ass chewed up and spat out long before you evolve into Roselia.
PART THREE - the obvious solution that i hate with a burning passion
If you really want to play things safe, the best way to evolve these happiness-based Pokemon is by running up and down the straight line in Solaceon Town for half an hour until your baby Pokemon decides that "ah, yes, THIS is what a true bond feels like!" and proceeds to evolve. Beyond being a pain, though, that's just not a fun way to actually become connected to a Pokemon. If "All You Need is Love" to make your Pokemon stronger, then this kind of love must leave John Lennon rolling in his grave. Maybe it's just another form of Nuzlocke grinding that speaks to the un-fun nature of these runs at times, but that doesn't mean it isn't worth complaining about. I will gladly take my children into battle if it means I don't have to put up with such minutiae.
PART FOUR
....................R.I.P. Brocc the Budew, Lvl. 24 (felled by a wild Sudowoodo)
If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to- ohshitohshitohshitOHSHIT. - Brocc

We’re back! To date, I’ve reviewed the first twenty volumes of the Virgin New Adventures (VNAs, for short) line of Seventh Doctor novels. (There are a total of 61 novels in the VNAS featuring the Doctor, including one Eighth Doctor novel, The Dying Days. I’m not counting the novels with Bernice Summerfield as protagonist, although I do hope to read them and review them. Eventually.) Twenty sounds like an impressive enough number…except that I’ve read twenty-six of them (Well, twenty-seven; but I wrote the review for Lungbarrow a long time ago, after I read it out of order, and am just waiting to post it.) As I’m quickly beginning to forget details, and want to catch up as quickly as possible, I think a little picking up of the pace is in order. So, here we are, posting for the second day in a row.
Now, on to number twenty-one! This brings us to prolific DW author Kate Orman’s debut novel, The Left-Handed Hummingbird. Published in December 1993, this novel is the third entry in the “Alternate Universe Arc”. Let’s get started!
Spoilers ahead for anyone who has not read this novel!
The life of a Mexican man of Aztec descent, Cristian Alvarez, is forever shaped by four events: the discovery of the Aztec great temple in 1978; the murder of John Lennon in New York, 1980; a marketplace massacre in Mexico City, 1994; and predating them all, a meeting with the Doctor in 1968 London. But Cristian has a secret that plagues him: at each crucial moment, he is assaulted by a psychic event or force that he calls “the Blue”. He can’t explain it; but he knows that when the Blue arrives, tragedy walks with it.
The Doctor, Ace and Benny are summoned by a psychic distress call. Arriving in late 1994, they meet Cristian for the first time—but, not his first time, as he knows them well. Soon enough it becomes apparent that someone or something is stalking Cristian through time; and, it seems, also stalking the Doctor. But, why? The Doctor first traces the phenomenon to the unearthing of the Aztec temple in 1978, and then to the temple’s bloody dedication in 1487. His course then takes him to 1968, and Cristian’s first encounter with the Doctor, in London; then at last to 1980, and the murder of John Lennon. At last, he comes to a final, traumatic event, one that Cristian would not have expected: the sinking of the Titanic in 1912. There, he faces a final battle with the persistent spirit of a long-dead Aztec warrior…but this battle will bring him no closer to his true enemy, the being interfering with his own past since the events in the alternate universe.
My first inclination, when sitting down to write this review, was to be a bit hard on the book. I’ve already mentioned more than once that this arc of the New Adventures—the “Alternate Universe” arc—was a chore to work through. In fact, yesterday I said that this book represents the peak of that feeling for me—and that remains true.
And yet, that’s an unfairly negative description. Upon further thought, I’ve decided that to present the novel that way would be to do it an injustice and a disservice; because it’s a very good book, in the end. It’s possible my judgment, going into this book, was colored by the experience of the preceding two books; but more to the point, this book is extraordinarily complex, even for the VNAs, and I think I wasn’t prepared for that. My lack of preparation, though, doesn’t invalidate the fact that that complexity is a good thing.
Nevertheless, if you read this book, be warned: It’s going to take some time for it to come together. You’ll have passages where you think the plot is wandering. I assure you it isn’t. Kate Orman chose to weave together any number of very different historical events, on two continents and in three countries (plus the middle of the ocean!); naturally it’s going to take time to tie those things together.
It’s all that history that really shines here; and with that, I have to apologize, because I haven’t been able to put in the research time necessary to figure out what is real and what is fictionalized here. Some of it is fairly fresh; the death of John Lennon, for example, occurred within my lifetime. Some of it is distant enough to be of interest chiefly to historians—but we’re all historians here, at least when the Doctor goes to visit. Aztec history is something in which I’ve only lightly looked over the years, but if it’s even a fraction as interesting as Orman portrays, I find myself fascinated.
After a short reprieve, we’re back to the usual amount of violence found in the VNAs. Nearly everywhere Cristian and the Doctor go, people die in horrifically violent ways. Perhaps that’s to be expected in a story about the Aztecs, who were known for bloody human sacrifices; and yet, we don’t see much in the way of sacrifices (possibly not any at all; I can’t recall). This, in spite of the fact that the temple featured in the story was known to have been dedicated with twenty thousand sacrifices; we don’t stay on hand for that scene, if I recall correctly. Rather, the deaths here are often bloody, always personal, and always up close. Deaths are far from uncommon for the VNAs, but often they occur offscreen and quietly; not so much here. It’s one of the few times I feel the series thus far has earned its description of “more adult than the television series”.
Some things for which I didn’t care: After just finishing with the Garvond, we get another incorporeal, violent, possession-capable villain whose origin and persistence are tied to the Doctor’s mind—that is, the Aztec “god” Huitzilopochtli, aka the warrior Huitzilin. (I put “god” in quotes because, in true DW fashion, he’s not actually a god in the end; but he certainly plays the part.) Maybe that’s in keeping with a theme for this arc, but it’s not exactly revolutionary at this point. The Doctor uses LSD at one point; now, applying 21st-century society to this, I don’t care, because there’s been a softening of views on drug use in our time, and because there’s growing evidence that LSD has therapeutic value for some conditions. But, when this novel was released in the early nineties, the anti-drug movement was at its height, and this…well, it makes me wonder about the reception at the time. Anyway, having lived through that period, it feels jarring to me.
Most of all, though, we’re back to the same issues we’ve been having with Ace and Benny. Once again, the trust among the members of our TARDIS team is left broken at the end; once again, Ace is angry with the Doctor for interfering in her way of doing things, and once again, the Doctor suspects that he is responsible for making Ace a killer. Once again, Benny gets largely sidelined; most egregious of all, when the Doctor and Ace take off for 1487, it’s Benny, the archaeologist of the group, who gets left babysitting Cristian in the future! Don’t worry, Benny, your chance is coming…half a dozen books from now, give or take. It’s frustrating to see these same old problems—can I call them tropes at this point? They feel like tropes—arising again. Better things are coming, I think, but only through slow and incremental progress.
Continuity References: Almost endless! The Doctor visits the Titanic, which has appeared in numerous stories, and which he has visited in multiple incarnations (first DW appearance in a DWM comic titled Follow That TARDIS!). He mentions Barbara’s actions from The Aztecs. He mentions numerous aliens that have interfered with Earth: The Osirians (Pyramids of Mars), the Exxilons (Death to the Daleks; also of great importance in this very book, though not actually present), Scaroth (City of Death), the Daleks (The Chase, for this purpose, and many others), and the Timewyrm (Timewyrm: Genesys and its sequels). He mentions Woodstock; the wiki indicates two earlier incarnations were there. One is the Second Doctor (Wonderland), but I was not able to identify the other or his story; however, he will visit again in his Twelfth incarnation (The Crawling Terror). Ace mentions Saul, the church in Cheldon Bonniface (Timewyrm: Revelation). UNIT gets several mentions; notably, Mike Yates is known to not speak to anyone by 1994, and Harry Sullivan is mentioned. Unit Corporal Carol Bell was last seen in The Claws of Axos. Ace contacts an Air Commodore Ian Gilmore (Remembrance of the Daleks). Herbert Clegg is mentioned (Planet of the Spiders). The Nightshade TV series is playing in 1968 (Nightshade). The Doctor mentions the Mara (Kinda, Snakedance) and the Fendahl (Image of the Fendahl). The Doctor mentions that an aspirin could kill him (The Mind of Evil). Ace wears a shirt from Svartos, specifically Iceworld (Dragonfire). UNIT agent Hank Macbeth mentions the Yeti invasion (The Web of Fear), the evacuation of London (Invasion of the Dinosaurs), and Devil’s End Church (The Daemons). Ace mentions Merlin (Battlefield). Benny thinks of the planet Heaven (Love and War). The Doctor mentions Xanxia (The Pirate Planet). And, a touch of foreshadowing, the Doctor gets (ostensibly) killed and placed in a morgue with a “John Doe” toe tag, which will happen for real at his regeneration. Also notable: This book is absolutely littered with real-world pop culture references; I won’t list them here, but for a quick rundown, check the Discontinuity Guide.
Overall: You’ll like this one; and there are plenty of good reviews to support me on that. Just give it time, take it slow, and savor the story.
Next time: We’re more than halfway through the Alternate Universe arc! Next time we’ll look at the fourth entry, Steve Lyons’ Conundrum. See you there!

I've always been a fan of crazy adventures but this one I assure you wasn't one I wanted. Over the course of all my writings, you'll find what's left of the person of who I used to be.
2 weeks ago on the night of my birthday. After a crazy night, I figured I might relax a bit. I threw myself on my futon and decided to start listening to some of the tracks I just made, I listened to one track that got me thinking the track was dreams I can't reach and some of the lyrics made me a little unsure they went like this "I woke up one night in a daze crazed with fear as I noticed these wires attached to my ears I notice men in lab suits with instruments they told me to lie down and concentrate again and that's when I awoke once more to find myself in my bedroom lying on my floor" as I listened I started to remember the dream from that night but the problem was it seemed more real than a dream. So I thought well maybe someone has a theory about this type of matter so I went on a forum and published my dream for public view and to receive comments to see if anyone else had a similar dream and this is when it started to get really weird.
About a week later I had received a comment that kind of scared me. The poster was anonymous but his comment was this, "the answer you seek is not one you want".I immediately responded and said, " you've got my attention I want to know what you know". An hour later I got another response from the same person. They said "what your referring to in your "dream" was an experiment done to certain people in which they are induced into a coma-like state where they relive their living according to what they program, they throw obstacles at you to see if you can accomplish their tasks, anyone who completes everything and gets to the age where they were subjected to the test will become". That's when the posted ended, I began responding asking what they become, I waited 4 weeks and no response I began to get scared. I started researching the information that was being told to me but every site with info on it was either shut down or the page was deleted. So I assumed I was fucked, but then it happened. I fell asleep that night and had the same dream but awoke to the men in lab suits speaking and what I heard was scary and unnerving " he's catching on there's a problem someone hacking in".
Then I woke up but I wasn't in my room I was in a psychiatric ward. I asked one of the staff members why I was here, he responded: " every night with you alright, look this is the last time, your parents were murdered and they're killer was never caught and you insist it was men in lab coats now goodnight". I began to panic not knowing what the hell was happening here. I took a deep breath and let go of it slowly thinking about how I could make sense of all this. I sat on the cold plastic bedding on the twin size bed in the dark, lonely room. I thought "what if I fell asleep would I wake up to my known reality?". So I began to lie down and started to drift off into a drowsy state. I was asleep and sure of it and saw once again the men in lab coats but for some strange reason, I didn't hear any noises. Then I awoke again, greeted by a voice "welcome back". I sigh with relief and say "thank god".
I felt a sense of relief knowing that one voice was assurance enough to let me know everything is going to be ok. Yet I'm not sure if that is completely true due to recent incidents that have caused a great confusion this far into this. Am I ready for what's next, or was this all a big dream from my big birthday party with all the shit I'd taken and done that night, so I ponder the thought this may be a drug-induced dream making it lucid. Who knows.
I looked around shocked that my idea really worked. I looked towards the right and saw my mom in the doorway of my bedroom. I looked in her direction and said: " How long have I been out for?". She looked towards me and laughed as if I was telling a joke, "well you went to your bed around 11 o'clock last night and keep mumbling something about a test, I assumed it was about school but then you started mentioning men in lab coats I thought it was a crazy dream, so I went to my bed and woke up around 5 am and you were screaming I went in and you suddenly stopped, it's 6 now so about 5 hours, honey I just wanted to know are you ok?" I looked at her and laughing in a fashion you'd see in a horror movie, replied "yeah mom, just had a bad nightmare I'm sure I'm fine everyone has one now and then" she shrugged her shoulders replying "well ok if you need to talk I'm here sweety now get ready for school".
I got up looked around as if to let myself know everything ok it was only a dream. I walked over to the dresser to get my Beatles T-shirt and some American eagle pants, the ones that are ripped on the knee. I couldn't find my Beatles T-shirt and thought maybe it wasn't a dream due to the fact that I hadn't worn it yet because it was brand new and just put it away yesterday I ran downstairs and asked my mom "Do you know where my Beatles T-shirt is?" She looked at me like I was crazy " Beatles T-shirt? When did you get it because I don't remember you getting one" I had a confused look on my face thinking that maybe I was still asleep or maybe she just didn't remember getting it with me at Spencer's I mean it was a Beatles Revolver album cover T-shirt you don't just forget buying. I said " oh I guess I was thinking of something from my dream or something" she looked at me and shook her head and went back to drinking a cup of tea she just made and ran back upstairs and grabbed my John Lennon NYC T-shirt and walked to the shower. I turned the faucet handle and it was new looking and began thinking "when did we get this?". I brushed it off saying to myself if I keep questioning things I won't have a reality anymore. So I just thought I'll be fine I just need to see one of my friends to feel reassured.
I made it down to the bus stop 10 minutes early and just as I walked over I saw one of my friends Justin Ragni. I spend over to him hoping maybe I could talk to him about all this, I mean, after all, he's the go-to guy for these types of problems. "Justin I was wondering.....after our G.E.D classes today you think we could chill?". He looked at me in a concerted fashion and said: "sure man what's going on?". I paused trying to think of a reasonable explanation to tell him, but I couldn't at that point and time. "Well, this is going to sound a bit strange but well I have been having these weird experiences and dreams where, well I'm in a laboratory and these men in lab coats are watching from behind this enclosed room with a huge window and the last dream I had one of the men said he's not ready someones hacking in, put him out again, Justin looked at me with a scared look as if he had just seen a ghost. "Well, man I know you think these are dreams but well there's more behind it then a simple dream, look we can't in public about this so after classes we'll meet up at my house, ok?" I looked at him worried about the statement he just made and glanced down for a minute thinking about the commenter on the forum that day when he said it was more than a dream as well. "Yeah man I appreciate it, I'm not going to lie and am pretty nervous by what you said", he looked at me and said with a stern face "Your right to feel that way".
The bus starting rolling down the hill and I began to pick up my backpack when I noticed this weird shining light coming from inside the bus. The light itself was very odd, it wasn't too bright it was actually pretty dim. Just then the bus pulled up and the light was gone, so I got in and sat all the way in the back and then I start to begin to feel a bit tired, so I rested my head on the cold metal between the seat and the interior of the bus. I began to start dosing off and that's when it happened, something I had been dreading since this all started.
I started feeling that I got when I had the first experience with the psychiatric ward I was in when I awoke the first time and yet I still feel this feeling.
When I awoke I knew what was going on from that second. It's happening again and I know where I am.
Again I'm here. I look around at the place I've grown to be familiar with but not happy to be in. This time around it was a very different experience, There were no men in lab coats, just me laying on the cold hard metal tray that they would normally use for morgues. I had these wires attached to me still, so I began to remove them. As I removed the wires I noticed that everything began to get brighter as if the wires were like a shield hiding the true essence of the room that I had become accustomed to. I got up to start looking around when a strange voice came over a speaker somewhere in the room. '' Welcome I've been waiting for you, look we don't have much time before they get back and find out what I did.". I looked around kinda confused and responded back "well I guess I don't have a choice at this point say what you need to say" my heart started racing not knowing what the hell to expect this time. "Well look you have for the past 6 years been under a psychoactive sedation drug that more or less puts you into a controllable coma state where they have you go through the obstacles they want you to, once you complete them you will be one of....fuck I gotta go we'll speak more another time." I was overcome with fear at the notion that the voice seemed as if they were about to be in a mess of trouble.
''Well hello there, why aren't you on the table?''. I responded back ''Look I don't know who the fuck you are or why I keep coming back to this same place every fucking time I sleep I just want some fucking answers to why the fuck I've been here for 6 years of my life, that's all I want to know and I want to go back to living a normal life and not this fucked up one you guys are creating for me''. The voice laughed in a demeaning matter ''Don't you remember, you wanted this and made this all possible without you this place wouldn't be what it is today''. My eyes lit up in horror thinking on what was just told to me ''Look I have no fucking idea what you're talking about but fuck this I'm done with this shit''. I glanced over towards the enclosed room but only to find a reflection of myself and as I looked at the reflection I noticed I wasn't 19 any longer I was at least in my 40's. "Well, I'm sorry to say there is no going back you're the last of the 10 people, but I digress I'll make it simple for you, you're not leaving this place until you finish".
I began to get furious and that's when 4 men came in all in hazmat suits. I looked at them knowing what my fate was. ''You can't do this forever I will get out of here you son of a bitch'' just as I finished that sentence that's when the men grabbed me and all I remember was a sharp pain in my neck as if they stuck me with a needle. I began to get woozy then eventually I passed out. That's when it started again.
This time around I didn't feel right, something was wrong. Knowing what would happen would be a much-needed blessing at this time. I hope I get that soon or I'm not sure if I'll ever is ok. This time I hope I get needs what to be done to finish and yet I'm scared to know what is the real truth and answers in all of this bullshit.
I woke up to the sounds of chimes from a bell. I looked towards the right and notice a church with a church bell ringing loudly, indicated it was time for mass. I got up but I wasn't at my mom's house I was in my apartment I rented when I was 18 and I wasn't quite sure what was going to happen this time. I walked around my room and seems as if I had just moved in.
I remember around this time when I was moving in Justin was going to come by and visit, so I waited for him to open the door and surprise me. He was always the type of guy to surprise me to make me happy. Just as I was thinking about that I realized I had a black suit on, as if I just came from a funeral or going to one. Right then I received a call "Chris where are you?'' I was confused "Why what's wrong?" there was a pause on the phone like I had just disrespected the person on the phone "Well I figured since your supposedly Justin's friend you'd be here after what happen''.
I sat down in terror hoping she wasn't saying what I think she was saying "Look I'm not feeling right today can you remind what happened?" She sighed in a slow manner as if what she was going to tell me was going to crush my heart ''Don't you remember anything, Justin died in a car crash you we're in the crash you survived with minor injuries, and Justin well this is hard to say...." I looked around in sorrow knowing what I was being told and responded "please tell me I need to know" I started to hear her crying softly over the phone "He was driving and you guys were drunk and high and he crashed into a light post and his seat belt held him but his head went through the windshield and decapitated his head" all I heard after that was her crying severely and I couldn't figure out a way to comfort her.
I started going into shock after hearing all of this, this was a way too much for me to handle everything I've been going through. "Look everything is going to be ok we'll get through this, Justin was a great person and I have to man up and take the blame for all of this I shouldn't have let him drive and now life is worthless, I chose drugs over a friend and I don't deserve to live with what I have done" there was a silent pause and then she hung up. The fact that I am being thrown into all of these situations was hard enough but to lose a lifelong friend due to stupidity is one thing I cannot handle. I looked around once more and notice a letter unopened from Justin.
I sat there for a minute just looking at the name on the letter, thinking back on all the shit we did together and now all I'm left with are memories of a past paradise. So I sat and began to wonder why if there was a God why would they make someone go through these horrible experiences, did God create us because there was a flaw in himself and he couldn't feel emotion so he created us so he could try to learn emotion?
Again I'm sitting rambling to myself nothing but unanswerable questions that I may never find out. The fact of even knowing I lost someone or more or less everything in a blink of an eye and I don't even know what, why or who is doing this but I will find out and when I do they'll pay for the death of my friend, even if they just fabricated it, the fact I still can actually feel the emotion I'm going through, which by the way would be as if you saw your friend get shot and did nothing to stop when you could. You may never know what this feels like I hope you never do. The feeling is the darkest feeling you could possibly think of and I wish that on no person, not even on my worst enemies. I kept perfectly still thinking about everything that just seemed to happen for no reason at all. Looking down at the letter, I noticed that there was a broken picture with a little bit of blood as if someone had just punched it out of rage. I looked at the photo and realized it was me and Justin back in Haver Middle School and a strange sense of relief with a little bit of depression came over me as if to say soon this will be done and you'll see the people who have caused you this pain. To an equal extent, I felt the depression because how do I know they didn't fabricate this event, I mean my whole look on reality at this point is diminishing to the where I may never know what is real or not again.
As I began looking at the letter again, I realized this may be the one message he left me to help me out and I damn sure am not going to stop fighting this battle. I sighed in a sort of nostalgic manner, recalling all of the crazy shit me and Justin went through and now.....well, I'm left with just the reminisce of yesteryear and nothing good in my eyes to look forward to. I rubbed my finger's over the name on the card as if to say my last and final goodbye not knowing what the future holds in store for me next. I slid my finger under the back flap of the envelope. I began opening the letter and was hoping for some information to help me out of this mess, instead, I got this confusing message ''When you awake to go towards the hall near the room with the big open window, Right then and there I should be working on a computer I won't have much time before they realize I have done this but please trust me to go there I'll be waiting there". I kept reading the letter over and over again to see if I can get any ideas, I mean was he speaking of a video game or my dreams. I wasn't too sure so I said well I don't have a video console so it can in my mind mean only one thing the dreams.
So as I laid down on my bed with the letter in hand a lot of things began going through my mind. Why was I the one going through all of this and not someone else? Do I have to wonder what they meant by I am the reason this is all possible? So many questions and not any answers to them. That's when I decided it would be best if maybe I just laid down and try to go through what I have been, hoping maybe just maybe I might be able to stop all of this finally.
I began to feel drowsy with the notion of hoping to see my friend once again. Laying down I starting drifting more and more off into a R.E.M. mode, I felt as if I had just taken 20 Xanax Bars and 3 80 mg oxycontin and snorted 4 huge rails of coke all at once. That's when it began to start becoming more apparent that this was an induced state of consciousness. Starting to drifting off I felt as if there would be an answer and though I may be parted there is still a chance I can finally let it be. That's the song that kept playing in my head was "Let It Be" but I felt it was the wrong song to be stuck in my head, I felt as if the song should have been "Happiness is A Warm gun" due to the fact that I felt estranged from the emotions that I had at the time. Beginning to drift off into the unknown land I have been going to for a long time, to be honest, it has felt like years when it's probably been nothing more then a couple of weeks, months, shit I'm not sure what the fuck to think anymore.
I woke up in the lab once again, remembering what was written and left for me. I just wanted answers, so I began remembering the letter and the message and starting walking out of the lab, and surprisingly no men in lab coats this time. As I exited the room I noticed the room Justin was referring to so I preceded to the room with caution. When I had gotten to the door I saw a couple of weird-looking laptops. I looked to the right in the window and saw Justin on the computer and preceded to walk-in. I was very nervous about the fact I didn't know what I was getting myself into. I walked in a cautious state thinking they're maybe something that I'd feared from the beginning. The same question I kept repeating to myself "Do I want to know what reality is anymore?". So far this entire journey has been a cluster fuck of disaster with a sprinkle of chaos and a dash of torment on my soon to be rested soul.
I opened the door with the confidence that I'd be ok at the end of all this. I held my breath and prepared for the worst. As soon as I walked in I saw Justin and right away said: "Ok you said you didn't have much time whats the plan and what the hell is going on". A dead silence swept the room. "Well for one I'm not exactly who you think i am, look im going to be brief, My name is Michael Nurmac, I am an intelligence agent for this company before i go any further though I'm going to explain a little you are the creator of this place and i was told as was everybody we were not under any circumstances to help nor resuscitate you back to this state of conscientiousness, your mission you set for yourself was to see if people could relive events of their life but with minor adjustments the problem was that the people who took control after you went under decided that idea wasn't what they wanted, so instead they developed a new idea, one where the subjects would relive their lifes but with major obstacles such as friends dying and other such things to see if you could cope with the obstacles and anyone who completed the tasks to the controllers liking was assigned a position in the New World's Army" "Look that's all i can say before we get caught just know in these "Dreams" The one person who seems to be a bit wierder then usually is me especially if they know what your talking about, OK?" "Alright, so what should I do now?" "Just go with the flow". "What does that mean?" "Look I can't explain any further, just go back into the room you were in and lie down and go back in, it'll be over soon"
I looked in horror thinking why the fuck would I go back in if I'm out, we'll some questions are better left unasked. I proceeded back into the room. "Ok now lie down and I'll put you under" "ok then what?". He was silent then I heard a faint whisper saying "it's almost over".

Saw this article and thought it would be helpful and provide some perspective
#StaytheFuckHome & read Dr. Susan Block's missive from edge of the Coronapocalypse, including Mother Nature's perspective, fighting a war without bombs (the Bonobo Way), SEX in isolation (let's all cheer for masturbation) and LoVE in the Time of Coronavirus:
Click Link for Full article with pics => https://www.counterpunch.org/2020/03/27/coronavirus-spring/
by Dr. Susan Block.
It’s Spring, and nature is blooming. Coronavirus has done (temporarily, at least) what no Paris Agreement, Green New Deal, man, woman or even that scrappy teen, Greta Thunberg (who may have also contracted COVID-19), could do. It has shut down a huge amount of the industrial, transportation and pollution-belching business activity that is destroying life on earth.
Tragically and terrifyingly, this comes at the expense of thousands of human lives (so far), the health of millions and the mental health of billions.
Ironically, it comes—like an ecogasm—to the benefit of the rest of world.
With so many Anthropocene operations shut down, the air is noticeably cleaner in many areas. We can see the difference—at least in waves. As the disease overtook China and the government ordered the shutdown of factories and other businesses, the smog lifted, nitrogen dioxide and greenhouse gas emissions lowered, and the skies brightened so much you could see the difference in satellite images.
Now that the Chinese seem to be getting a handle on the virus, people are back at work and pollution is resurfacing. But at the moment, almost every other country is struggling to contain the viral varmint with quarantines, handwashing tutorials and shelter-in-place virtual sing-a-longs, trying to heed the medical experts’ advice to (despite our Trumpublican representatives pushing us to get back to “normal” and #DiefortheDow) scrap all nonessential activity and #StaytheFuckHome.
So, throughout the planet—notably in Europe—the skies, streets and waterways are clearing up from human-generated debris. In Thailand and Japan, gangs of monkeys and deer roam streets now devoid of tourists. Dolphins and small fish are swimming in the Venice Canal (or just some canal near Venice, but it’s still impressive). It’s Mother Nature’s own Homemade Green New Deal.
It’s a Coronavirus Spring (with apologies to Rachel Carson).
Sounds almost lovely. However, unless you just hate human beings, it’s not lovely at all.
A War Without Bombs
As the virus spreads throughout humanity, it is waging a vicious World War that, despite all our bombs and Pentagons, we are not at all prepared to fight.
Yet fight we must—for our individual lives, and for our neighbors whose lives are deeply intertwined with ours.
They always have been, of course. Humans, like bonobos and common chimpanzees, are an intensely social, interdependent species. But thanks to the power of capitalism that enhances our feelings of competition, greed, desperation and jealousy, we’re not usually very cognizant of our inherent communal connection. Now that truth is laid out—or sprayed out—in “droplets,” statistics, “community spread,” sickness and death.
This despite the misleading, self-adoring, stock market-fellating, “I don’t take responsibility at all” putrid blather the Trumpus pulls out of his Rumpus (where’s that toilet paper when we need it?) at these unsafe press conferences he tries, in vain, to turn into rallies. Though he does fancy himself to be a Wartime President.
Of course, we started this war. And I don’t mean Mr. Tomato Head’s trumped up wars with China and whoever disagrees with him; I mean humanity’s war on the rest of nature.
Over the past few thousand years, especially the last century, we have made the Earth and its atmosphere sick as a COVID-19 patient, feverish with global warming, hurricane sneezes, fiery coughing fits, the damaged lungs of the rainforests and atmospheric shortness of breath. In short, human civilization has been a plague upon the Earth. Now, in a science fiction-like way, the Earth appears to be fighting back against its human plague by dropping this horrible modern plague, Coronavirus. Like a bomb. On us.
The Coronapocalypse is a war of wars, yet everything we *know* about war does not apply. Wars are typically fought with guns, grenades and guided missiles; the war against COVID-19 is fought with swab tests, ventilators, face masks and hand sanitizer. In traditional wars, the old send the young to fight and die for their corporate investments. In the Coronavirus War, the old are most likely to die, as the young alternate between fighting valiantly on the hospital frontlines and spreading the virus willy-nilly. This is almost always inadvertent; many are contagious for days before symptoms appear. But sometimes it’s deliberate with active “Boomer Removers” spitting on fruit in your local Ralph’s. Ironically, as the virus spreads, more young people are getting sick and dying in this war too. That Mother Nature is such a trickster.
In other American wars in the past 80 years, except for the occasional “terrorist,” the U.S. military has been doing the killing and dying in some faraway place, while here at home, we continue life as usual, barely aware of the havoc America wreaks on other nations. Now we know what it’s like to shut ourselves into our homes, crazed with fear and boredom, waiting for the bombs to drop.
Another difference between this war and others is the folks in uniform. I have never felt like thanking our troops for fighting, killing and helping to perpetuate our Perma-Wars; they don’t “protect” us from anything except the good will of other peoples. But I get down on my proverbial knees to thank our doctors, nurses and medical technicians who are facing this “enemy” with as much courage as the most decorated soldiers have ever faced combat, and with a lot more integrity, life-saving value and genuine service.
Wouldn’t it be great, smart and very bonoboesque to take 95% of the ridiculously bloated U.S. military budget and spend it on COVID-19 tests, ventilators, respirators, masks, gowns and other necessities? While we’re at it, let’s bring most of those troops home to help the first responders and medical teams fight this real-life enemy of the people.
​
Short of that, American billionaires ought to stop worrying about Wall Street and start buying supplies. Some are doing that, but their contributions are far from enough. It’s one thing to hoard toilet paper; it’s quite another to hoard billions of dollars when, due to a lack of basic medical necessities, your fellow citizens are dying in such high numbers that stacks of bodies are being hauled away in freezer trucks.
Love in the Time of Coronavirus
What about sex?
Sadly, the coronavirus is, in a way, a sexually transmitted disease (STD), a plague of human physical intimacy, as are all viruses. Not that we need to have sex to *catch* these colds, flus and viruses; all that’s required is that we be close to each other, inhale each other’s breath, somehow ingest each other’s germs or even just pick up each other’s phones.
How can we have sex without being close? How can we connect as we self-isolate? How can we make love in the time of Coronavirus (with apologies to Gabriel Garcia Marquez)?
As a sex therapist who counsels others to explore and enjoy the pleasures and healing benefits of consensual touch, it feels odd to advise people, including myself, to do the opposite in order to save their lives. Talk about an about-face! But here we are.
Not that you can’t have any sex, but I, a proud bonoboesque pansexualist, must agree with the New York City Department of Health (NYCDOH) COVID-19 guidelines that say it’s better to just “love the one you’re self-isolating with,” at least when it comes to in-person sex.
That means just one or, as the NYCDOH liberally suggests, “a small circle” of sex partners that you can really trust (how you know whom you can “really trust” is another story). Monogamy may be unnatural for humans, but it has never been so sensible. Having in-person casual sex is playing Russian Roulette… at least until they make a special sex-friendly hazmat suit, which is coming, I’m sure. But not soon enough.
Fun Fact: COVID-19, though swimming in saliva, has not been found in semen or vaginal fluid. Unfortunately for the analinguists out there, it has been found in fecal matter. Therefore, NYCDOH guidelines warn: “No rimming” (don’t you just love that kinky specificity in a metropolitan health office?). It’s great that the NYCDOH is hip to rimming. But does that mean other kinds of oral sex are okay?
And how do we even get to that point if we’re staying six feet apart? Nobody’s that well-hung.
What do we do if we’re single and dating? It sounds cumbersome, but maybe the exhibitionists among us could set up plastic booths and perform peep shows for our dates.
There are other ways to handle the six-foot rule. Personally, I think it’s a good time to eat raw garlic because 1) it’s good for your immune system and 2) it keeps people from getting close to you.
Of course, when we say “close,” we mean physically close. We simply can’t (or shouldn’t) get physically close to someone we’re not self-isolating with. A tale of two cities during the H1N1 influenza pandemic of 1918 demonstrates how important it is to play “keep away”: After a few cases of the deadly virus floated into Philadelphia and St. Louis, Philly held a big, crowded, military parade while St. Louis shut everything down.
Within days, the City of Brotherly Love was overwhelmed by the “Spanish Flu” (which was really the “Kansas Flu,” as that’s where it started, but the WWI-neutral Spaniards were the first to report on it, so got stuck with the name), killing more than 12,000 Philadelphians in six weeks, while St. Louis “flattened the curve” and kept their death toll under 700. My father was one of the thousands of Philadelphia children who caught the influenza of 1918. Obviously, he survived and lived a full life, but he contracted Parkinson’s Disease towards the end; it is said by some that H1N1 may have led to Parkinson’s, so this hits me close to home.
I wonder what scars might be carried by those who “recover” from COVID-19.
“Kissing through the Waves of the Web”
So, here we are playing physical “keep away” on a grand scale. Really, “social-distancing” is a misnomer. It makes it sound like we have to stop socializing, communicating or caring about one another. That’s not very bonobo, or very human. It also sounds rather anti-socialism (even Democratic Socialism).
I prefer the term “physical distancing,” which is bad enough, but not as bad. To “flatten the curve,” we need to “physically distance” ourselves from each other, but we can maintain, expand and deepen our social relationships through our otherwise demonic devices to our social-lite/influencer hearts’ content.
Yes, our devices can be vices—bad habits, stupefying sources of alienation, depression, misinformation and a host of other ills. But in our war against COVID-19, they may prove to be lifesavers, a vital means of communication, a loneliness balm, a means to let off steam, and a way to stay in touch without touching.
Alas, we don’t all have balconies from which we can sing our solidarity, like the Italian flash mobs… though as balcony scenes go, the New York couple getting married on the sidewalk under the minister’s fourth floor apartment window is a good one.
Not that we all should be singing through the pandemic, as evidenced by the cringe-worthy ruination of John Lennon’s “Imagine” in the voices of Gal Gadot and her clueless celebrity cohorts. Celebrities in general tend to be tone deaf on these global concerns, but exceptions to the rule include Fran Drescher Nanny-spanking “capitalism” and the surprisingly socialist pop princess-turned-MILF Britney Spears exhorting us to “write virtual love letters… learn to kiss and hold each other through the waves of the web. We will feed each other, re-distribute wealth, strike.. Communion moves beyond walls” (italics mine).
Amen and Awomen, Comrade Britney! And thanks for the three rose emojis, a Springy symbol of the Democratic Socialists of America.
Still, it’s so sad we can’t kiss. Kissing could be one culprit, besides intergenerational housing (another lovely Old World tradition), in the deadly COVID-19 spreads of Italy, France and Spain, countries where everybody kisses everybody else, at least once on each cheek, sometimes twice. Those gentle pecks on the cheek are so delightful, and now… fatal.
Bonobos love to kiss, showing us how basic to our Great Ape heritage is the desire to lock lips and swap saliva. But with COVID-19, a simple smooch can be the kiss of death.
So, we must try to “kiss… through the waves of the web,” express solidarity through social media, convey compassion, organize efforts, send money and wave to each other from our Microsoft Windows. We can communicate harmony and disharmony, share poetry, ideas, frustrations, kinship. We can cry with each other on the phone. We can make each other laugh online. Laughter is a mental orgasm, and almost as important to human health as consensual touch. Deprived of the latter, we’re going to need plenty of the former.
The interesting thing about “sensory deprivation” is that it makes our un-deprived senses even more acute. When you can’t see, your ability to hear is heightened. Without touch, our other senses might rise to the occasion, helping us to make love, or a kind of love (there are many kinds), through the sticky juicy interwebs, the Erotic Theater of the Mind. We can have phone sex, webcam, or sext each other. It’s not for everyone (though after a few more weeks of isolation, maybe it will be), but it’s possible to have a very “close,” intimate yet “virtual” conversation—even a long-term relationship—over our vice-filled devices.
And yet… physical touch is so vital to mammalian—especially primate—life. Most primates don’t have as much sex as bonobos, but almost all thrive on grooming, petting, hugging, playing with and touching each other. Infant monkeys deprived of touch won’t eat, get sick and die. The human primate is not much different.
Tragically, COVID-19 is not only a human virus, but also deadly to great apes, including bonobos. A shred of good news is that China is closing its wild animal markets, and other countries are following suit, but poachers in the Congolese Rainforest are still murdering bonobos and other endangered species as “bushmeat,” even though it’s illegal. It pains me to say it, but if bonobos catch Coronavirus, they will almost inevitably give it to each other, as touch is integral to their lives.
Consensual touch is pretty integral to human life too, but we can force ourselves to forego it, with willpower and, let’s call it what it is, tremendous self-repression.
This is a big sacrifice—much bigger than the Dow plummeting—that we as humans all must make.
So… don’t touch your friends, strangers, neighbors, anybody except your significant other(s). And scrub those hands raw before and after you do. And whatever you do, don’t touch your face! Though everyone does, even Dr. Fauci.
But you can touch yourself. And in this case, below the belt is better than above the neck.
Isolation Sex
Back to the NYCDOH which is downright effusive in its unequivocal support of masturbation: “You are your own safest sex partner.”
I’ve been extolling the virtues of masturbation for decades, as has my mentor, the Godmother of Masturbation, Dr. Betty Dodson, and other sexperts, often to sniggers, hypocritical outrage and Puritanical censorship. When Surgeon General Dr. Joycelyn Elders suggested that masturbation be considered a safer sex alternative in school sexuality classes, President Bill Clinton fired her (he, of all people, should have taken her advice). No, Dr. J didn’t mean the gym teacher conducts a circle jerk; she meant that school sex education programs list solo sex, along with condoms, dry-humping and abstinence, as a way to avoid STDs.
I guess it took a lethal pandemic to turn the authorities around to our point of view, but here we are. The NYCDOH is officially begging you to masturbate. Hallelujah.
You may think of sex as “dirty,” but as was always the case, even before the pandemic, wash your hands before you start choking the chicken or polishing the pearl. As my mom used to say, “Your hands are dirty and it’s clean down there!”
Everybody’s self-pleasuring now, even Trumpublicans. This is a good thing, except maybe when former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee tweets out that he really likes shoving corn cobs up his ass:
“Those of us from rural south know how to handle toilet paper shortage. Eat more corn on the cob! The corn isn’t important, but the cobs are free and work great! (Just don’t flush them!) You’re welcome!”
Corn cobs: Mother Nature’s own dildos. Though I prefer cucumbers.
But don’t you still need that human connection? While maintaining scrupulous “physical distancing,” you can put the old AT&T jingle into practice: Reach out and touch someone (virtually)… while you touch yourself. Phone sex is a lot sexier than abstinence, safer than a hazmat suit and very stimulating in a sapiosexual way. It’s aural sex. I adore the romantic mystery of the phone, but if you’re visual, bump uglies on webcam. If you’re self-isolating in the family room with your parents or kids, get into sexting. On second thought, maybe you shouldn’t be masturbating in the family room…
Nobody said this would be easy. But, to quote an oft-used cliché right now: We will get through this!
Actually, only some of us will. The cold, breathless truth is that cases and fatalities are mounting every day, and any one of us could be next.
Hopefully, those of us who do “get through this” will have learned something about love, ecology, caring, sharing, communication, masturbation and our entire society’s need for universal healthcare (thanks Bernie!). Hopefully, the survivors of the Coronavirus Spring (and Summer?) will have learned how and why it’s important to get back into Mother Earth’s good graces.
Now that you’ve read this dirty article, wash your hands and get busy!

Hi Everyone, NEWTHONY TEAMTANO
Steven Adams:
SONG: Sada Baby-Skupac
Tripping off that lean, But I still got my balance
Poiny tail Steven Adams, I got white boy with Westbrook
7 in a row, be looking like legends if you let us
EXPLANATION:
Steven Adams is giant and white, and “whiteboy” is a type of joint, and Westbrook wears the number “O”, in this case “Ounces”. (Sada Baby is saying that his joints are massive)
RELEVANCE:
-599k views on YouTube
-12.6k views on Genius
REVIEW:
Sada Baby is one of my favorite artists. He reps Detroit with pride, and brings so much energy to each track. With his signature ad libs, and his unlimited amount of references makes each track exciting. Sada Baby’s flow on this, especially the second part is insane. The beat is dynamic and bouncy, compliments Sada Baby well. Sada Baby works with R.J Lamont often, and still offers free beats on his YouTube,
Quality: B+
Dennis Schröder:
SONG: Benny The Butcher ft Conway & Westside Gunn-Tom Ford Socks
Smell like waxin' sour walkin out of Peter Luger
Streets consumed us, little homie loved to grip his Ruger
He 17, but he been a shooter like Dennis Schröder
EXPLANATION:
Dennis Schroder wears the number 17, and his young homie can shoot at a 32.5% effective rate.
RELEVANCE:
-101k views on YouTube
-0 views on an incomplete [Genius] entry
REVIEW:
Really nice instrumental, good use of the violin. The hook by Westside Gunn was pretty good, This track sounds like something Action Bronson would rap over. Conway drops some good bars. Benny The Butcher drops some lines that were trying to be conscious about life on the streets, but really nothing new was said.
Quality: C
Nerlens Noel:
SONG: Army Of Pharaohs-Visual Camouflage
(Esoteric) I incite a riot when I spit bull, dressed like Pitbull
Walkin' a lab that swears to God he's a pitbull
Servin' 'em well, you could get touched
I got the reach of Nerlens Noel
EXPLANATION:
Esoteric is saying he will destroy you in a fight because he has a 7’4 wingspan, so his jabs will likely be too overwhelming
RELEVANCE:
-174k views on YouTube
-10k views on Genius
REVIEW:
Army Of Pharaohs is a Philly Based Rap Group, who’s most notable member is Vinnie Paz. The instrumental is simple, ad gives a nice villainous vibe. Apathy starts off the song with an insane flow, and rhyme scheme. Zilla (not from City Morgue) sounds a bit awkward, which negates some of the hard lines he says. Vinnie Paz drops a great verse. Celph Tilted has a really unique sound, and has a nice flow. Esoteric sounds like a Great Value Jay Z, but still has a quality verse.
Quality: B+
Terrance Ferguson:
No matches
Patrick Patterson:
SONG: Jack Johnson-Taylor
Well Peter Patrick pitter Patters on [Patterson] the window
And Sunny Silhouette won't let him in
EXPLANATION:
Jack Johnson made this song in 2009, and is obviously referring to the bank shot skills Patrick Patterson had in his amazing 09 season at Kentucky. Jack Johnson says he was paying homage to Das EFX by using “Pitter” in front of Patterson.
RELEVANCE: -8.1M views on YouTube
-10k views on Genius
REVIEW:
Well he’s the first non rap artist to be featured on the list, and it’s surprising that the man behind the vibes I felt watching the Curious George movie would reference such an obscure basketball player. I like the raw sound coming from the guitar, and Jack Johnson’s voice is very soothing. His second chorus is off key, but shows raw emotion. The bridge was great, felt unearned nostalgia from it. I liked this song, and my mom probably loves this song.
Quality: A-
Abdel Nader:
No mentions
Hamidou Diallo:
Lartiste-Bondy Nord
Hamidou Diallo, Bondy Nord, tu m'connais pas encore, p'tite pute
On a déjà tué le match, pas encore compté les buts
On a rien lâché comme des pits, ils ont bavé comme des chattes
(Bad Translation:)
Hamidou Diallo, Bondy Nord [North part of a French Commune]
You don’t know me yet, little bitch.
Have already killed the game
Not counted the goals(?)
We drop anything like pits(?)
They drooled like pussies(?)
EXPLANATION:
My French is terrible.
RELEVANCE:
-182k views on YouTube
-0 views on Genius
REVIEW:
The artist Lartiste sounds like he’s trying to imitate Travis Scott. The instrumental in the beginning sounds influenced heavily by Antidote. It had quality moments in its production , but still sounds a bit flat. Lartiste sounds awkward in my opinion. The hook is too long, and obnoxious. However, Hamidou Diallo has a nice sound, like his ad libs. He flows pretty nicely in a language I can’t understand, and I enjoy the autotune added to him.
Quality: D+
Raymond Felton:
SONG: [Gunna ft Lil Uzi Vert, Young Jordan-At The Hotel]
(Young Jordan) You got the cards that they dealt you
They mad a (Nephew) ain't felt them
Woah, yeah, woah FN is light as a feather
Hit him two times, Raymond Felton
We still in the race for the cheddar
EXPLANATION:
This line has layers. Raymond Felton was arrested for owning an illegal firearm (which happened to be an FN) and also wears number 2. Race for the cheddar is a double entendre for both grinding for money, but also can be a reference how Raymond Felton will do anything for food.
RELEVANCE:
-1.1M views on YouTube
-75.4k views on Genius
REVIEW:
Gunna puts together a great hook with Uzi ad libs in the background. Gunna drops a pretty nice verse for the first half, but the second half of the verse sounds choppy and uninspired. Lil Uzi Vert drops some of the most mind numbingly dumb verses I’ve ever listened to. I’m not expecting Lil Uzi Vert to be MF Doom, but he used a monosyllabic rhyme scheme throughout the whole verse that were obvious and boring. This was a definition of a throwaway verse. Lil Jordan outside of the Raymond Felton bar was confusing. He says “Woah, yeah!” about 12 times in his verse. He is offbeat, and sounds super generic. The instrumental is also very boring, this track is just boring outside of the Raymond Felton line.
Quality: D
Alex Abrines:
No mentions
Deonte Burton:
No mentions
Donte Granthan:
No mentions
Jawun Evans:
No mentions
Andre Roberson:
SONG: Jtrey x Lil Ostrich-Say So
(JTrey) When I get up on the beat, Roberson freethrows
Talk about bricks
You can't do 'ish
Walk up in the bank like Drake from The 6
EXPLANATION:
Andre Roberson’s “bricks” a lot of his shots, but the line is confusing because JTrey says that he is not good when he hops on the beat. My theory is that he thinks that “bricks” mean stacks of money instead of large amounts of cocaine (yeugh), which he does not talk about.
RELEVANCE:
-13 followers on JTrey’s soundcloud
-1 view on Genius
REVIEW:
JTrey starts off the verse acapella, and it sounded it pretty fun. Once the beat comes in, then imagine a 15 year old white upper middle class kid reading off of his iPhone. That kid would be the feature artist Lil Ostrich, who has horrible flow and delivery, but has some really good one liners and references. The next verse JTrey delivers notes a horrendous drop in audio quality, but a pretty ok verse. Then Lil Ostrich returns, and packages some good lines in abysmal delivery. The instrumental is average, not bad for the level of song the two were making. Hopefully they had fun working on this
Quality: D
ACQUISITIONS:
Chris Paul:
SONG: BROCKHAMPTON-STAR
Ride or die like it's Seabiscuit
Tryna stack like Tobey
John Wick, I don't leave a witness
Chris Paul, I'm assistin'
Ameer go Blake Griffin
EXPLANATION:
Don McLennon has the verse before Ameer Vann, and he is expecting Ameer to follow his hard verse with one of his own. Essentially Don is lobbing the mic to Ameer Vann and he slam dunks it then abuses women.
RELEVANCE:
-5.6M views on YouTube
-478.1k views on Genius
REVIEW:
The beat is so contagiously bouncy, that there’s no way you can listen to this song without moving your body. Don McLennon’s first verse consists of dropping Pop Culture references throughout that flow so nicely together. Ameer Vann’s verse continues with the Pop Culture theme, and his verse where a really nice dark synth is added, and the beat adds more percussion. Kevin Abstract drops a verse that sounds like a homoerotic comment in NBA, but still makes it sound hard. One of the best songs of the decade
Quality: A+
Shai Gilgeous Alexander:
No mentions
Danilo Gallinari:
SONG: Action Bronson-Mr Songwriter
And when we sitting down to dine at least there's two course swimming
Probably calamari, my young shooter I call him Gallinari
Still serve the Knicks, nibbles of parmigiani
EXPLANATION:
Action Bronson is ordering Italian seafood, so it gives him an excuse to mention that he has shooters that are Italian like Danilo Gallinari. Though he’s not on the Knicks anymore, he’s still beating them. But then again, who isn’t beating the Knicks.
RELEVANCE:
-112k views on YouTube
-5.3k views on Genius
REVIEW:
Instrumental samples Connie Stevens, “Mr Songwriter.” Bronson starts off this song with an insane rhyme scheme. Song is happy, and upbeat, while still keeping Bronson’s hardness. Action Bronson at the end of the song makes sure we know all of his aliases which was pretty funny. Only complaint it’s too short.
Quality: A-
Mike Muscala:
SONG: Matt Citron-New Reign
I'm an Atlanta Hawk boy
I grip the Mike Muscala rip that shit like panty hose
I'm Danny Zuko's leather jacket
EXPLANATION:
Matt Citron’s weapon of choice is a Finnish WW2 submachine gun, the Suomi KP-31. Mike Muscala wore number 31 on the Hawks.
RELEVANCE:
-57 views on a site called Baseshare
-1 view on Genius
REVIEW:
This song took me by total surprise. This instrumental is majestic, I love the drums on this beat. They are very dynamic, and make it sound unique. The vocals in the background are beautiful. This beat would fit very well with Jay Z. Matt Citiron sounds so calm and hungry at the same time. Opened up with a great rhyme scheme, and shows that he has great technique. His flow is insane, and works so well with the beat. His message is great, he’s making music because he’s great at it, while criticizing rappers who only talk about struggle or think that they are bigger than they really are. I’m happy I found this gem.
Quality: A
Darius Bazley:
No mentions
THUNDESUPERSONICS LEGENDS:
Gary Payton:
SONG: Tory Lanez-Lucky You (Freestyle)
I'll be wildin' 'til a (nephew) make about a B in a week
Fuck (nephews) hating on me
But I’m Gary Payton, always on the team with the green.
EXPLANATION:
Gary Payton is known for trash talking his opponents, and Tory Lanez won’t back down from a challenge.
RELEVANCE:
-4.6M views on YouTube
-87.2k views on Genius
REVIEW:
Tory Lanez raps very fast on this, and has some above average rhyme schemes. Despite the difficulty of how fast it was to rap this, this really lacked any hard lines. Most of his bars were, “Well, that makes sense I guess.” The instrumental is boring, and Tory Lanez sounds like a less corny version of Logic but with a worse sounding voice.
Quality: D+
Shawn Kemp:
SONG: J.Cole-Motiv8
Backin' out the parkin' spot and though the law be on him
He exempt, Shawn Kemp, he keep that .40 on him
EXPLANATION:
Shawn Kemp wore the number 40 and JCole keeps a 40 cal on him.
RELEVANCE:
-6.4M views on YouTube
-531k views on Genius
REVIEW:
I like the sample in the beginning, and his first verse is pretty good. The chorus is really annoying, and was played before playoff games on ESPN/ABC. The refrain has the Junior MAFIA get money sample, and that’s pretty neat. The instrumental was pretty groovy, song would be better with a feature and a shorter chorus.
Quality: C+
Previous Installments:
ATL, LAL, GSW, TOR
NEXT INSTALLMENTS:
HOU, BOS
TRAN

Part 1
I am still alive and well, and before anyone asks, no, I haven’t been brainwashed or switched..yet..at least I don’t think so. I remember everything about the John Doe-me and Sector 4, so that keeps me calm that I am still me and not another clueless me..If that makes sense.
After posting my experience, I decided the next morning that I need to approach the situation smart. I knew that I could expect soldiers kicking my door in at any moment to take me. So I gathered some most needed items for survival like food, knives, a map, clothes, in a backpack, just in case I had to try and flee the base.
The entire place is guarded 24/7 and escaping it at first glance seems impossible. But I’ve been working here for more than 20 years now and dare to think I know just enough to help me bypass any of the security measures. But this was plan B - the escape plan. I had to try plan A first.
Plan A was very simple. Act normal, play dumb and play nice with all the good little soldiers. But I needed help. I needed to know what the surveillance had recorded if they had recorded me at all, and I needed to find out what’s going on. Good thing that I’ve been here for so long that I have made a few friends. And trust me, whatever you’ve seen in the movies and on YouTube, yes, this base is very much secured and everybody is watched, and weird stuff happens here, but in reality everything is human controlled, and these people take shifts..and surveillance feed is manually checked every 24 hours. So that meant I had about 8 hours to check the recordings. But I knew no one would simply give me the access. And this is where I needed the help.
Anthony Quartes. System administrator in Sector 2. Sector 2 is one of the main control centers and contains the server room. Anthony is a world-class hacker, programmer and tech-geek. In 2007 he hacked the US Lottery and transferred $2.7 million into the bank accounts of orphanages and ghetto schools. In 2008 he hacked the CIA and leaked lists of cell phone manufacturers and US mobile operators that bugged phones and recorded people’s conversations 24/7. In 2009 he hacked the FBI and set all screens to hentai images. I guess that last one was just for fun. In other words, Tony was a big conspiracy fan and had the skills to hack anywhere. Ten years ago he was caught hacking into the Pentagon. The government then gave him a deal off the books - to work on the base in exchange for no prison time and clean records. So naturally, he took the deal. He is 27 years old now.
Tony and I were friends and very often had lunch and drinks together. It’s nice to make friends here. Especially such, that have very specific skills.
I took my smart car and went to “work”. I got in the main building and took the elevator directly to Sector 2. I went through the tech rooms until I reached Tony’s.
“Hey, man,” - I knocked on Tony’s door. He turned around and smiled. - “You got a minute?”
“Morgan, heyy, dude, sure, what’s up? I thought we were seeing each other for lunch later?” - he pulled an office chair from another desk and pushed it next to me.
Tony’s office was not too small and he had at least seven large monitors, 3 PCs, a laptop, a couple of tablets, and wires were flying across the place. This room definitely looked like a tech rat’s cave.
“Yeah, listen, man, I just wanted to tell you about that cool thing I read online about Poughkeepsie.” - At that point Tony’s laughing expression became serious.
“Sure, dude, let’s grab a smoke.” - He turned around and pressed a few buttons. Poughkeepsie was our code word for “something is up, I need to talk to you in private”. So he had developed a scrambler for any possible bugs that he thought could be placed in all tech rooms. The smoking part was just a diversion in case anyone was listening. - “Okay, what’s up.”
“I have a problem. Something really big is happening here and I am afraid for my life.” - I began and told him the whole story. I knew I could trust him.
“Holy shit, dude, you serious??” - Tony’s eyes had gotten even wider after he heard everything. - “You mean, like, clones?”
“Sure seems that way for now, but I can’t be sure just yet. I need to find out more and, as it looks like, this affects me personally. Have you heard of a Sector 4?”
“No, and I have not seen a Sector 4 on any of the official blueprints..”
“Well, I need to see the surveillance recordings from yesterday after 4 p.m. from Hallway 5 in Sector 12 and anything that could be placed in that said Sector 4.”
“Lemme see what I can do.” - He turned around to face his large monitors and began his magic. - “Now, I first need to set my access so that it doesn’t trace back to me...then we bypass access protocols on the Surveillance Server...three firewalls...taking them down...two...one… Okay, we are in.” - Tony moved to the side.
He scrolled through the lists of recordings and surveillance sections and found the cameras from Sector 12. The recording showed a lot of people passing by, which is generally strange, because we don’t cremate that often...to our knowledge. Then I showed up on the camera. I was walking relatively slowly straight ahead, looking left and right. A different angle showed my face, I looked like I was searching for something. Then I disappear into the blind spot behind the furthest camera of Sector 12 and return running ten minutes later. Tony searched the lists some more.
“Nah, dude, I can’t find any other surveillance further from that point on that floor of the base.”
“That sector is there, I know it, it’s impossible they won’t be monitoring it!” - I kept biting my thumb out of nerves.
“How about you give me a few hours, I’ll see what I can find on this “Sector 4” and we’ll talk later, okay?”
“Hmmm, sure, okay, text me if you find anything. Thanks, Tony.”
-----
Around midday I was keeping my eyes open for any possible soldiers wanting my head when Tony called. I went to the cafeteria, met with him and we grabbed some lunch.
“Dude, this shit is crazy!” - Tony began whispering when we sat down. - “I mean, I know about the genetic experiments on monkeys, the other stuff down below on the lower levels, and even the staged murder of that famous guy, what’s his face..mmmm..”
“John Lennon.”
“Right! That guy! But this..this is some next level..”“Okay, okay, Tony, I get it, now what have you found??” - I was getting impatient.
“Okay, okay, check this out. Sector 4 doesn’t actually exist, there is no record of it in the entire base’s system. Moreover, that whole part of the building you described, it’s just air on every single blueprint! Buuuuut, check this out, check this out,” - he leaned closer. - “I hacked into the private server of the Major General.. I figured, go to the higher levels, right?.. You remember that really long basic renovation they did five years ago down at sectors 11 and 12?”
“Not really..” - I began to think back in time. Tony seemed annoyed.
“That time when we got wasted around July 4th and we went home with those blonde assistant twins?..”
“Oh, yeah, I remember that..” - I nodded. Good times.
“Well, that was no basic renovation. They created a whole new wing! An entire “ghost” sector that no one knows about, except for high-end officials! It’s named Sector 4 exactly because no one would believe it exists cuz of that.. Chinese thing..”
“Japanese.”
“Same thing. Anywho, the Major General’s server is half full with all sorts of info on that place, and that’s a looot of space. The entire sector is on the back of both Sector 12 and Sector 11, from what I saw it looks like you’ve entered through a back door somehow. Only ten scientists and five technical engineers have access there, besides any of the higher officials, of course.”
“So what do they do there?”
“The project is titled, get this: “The 6th Day”..” - Tony spread his hands to his sides with enthusiasm and looked like he was expecting a big response.
“So?..” - I wasn’t getting the reference. Tony was shocked.
“The 6th Day, dude! The movie from 2000, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Terry Crews??” - I shrugged my shoulders. Tony seemed way too offended at my lack of knowledge on cinema. He leaned even closer and whispered sharply - “Clones, dude! It’s really clones!! Jesus, you don’t know nothing..” - he threw his fork in his food. - “Anyway, they have brought their genetic research to a whole new level, they are developing human clones right under all our noses! It’s a top-top secret project! It has been in production for the past four years, but it looks like they have started activating specimens just a few months ago…”
“Wait, wait, wait..”activating the specimens”?..” - I was completely in shock at that point doing my best to seem normal.
“Yeah, waking up the clones, dude! It looks like that this is not the first batch, but from all the docs I read, it is the most successful till now!”
“So, what, they have been using us for their genetic experiments?!” - my stomach felt sick again. But thinking about it, they did have all our DNA, as part of the registering process on the base.
“Not just you, all personnel from non-military origin on the premises of the base.” - Tony said that last sentence slowly and stared at me the whole time. I laid against my chair, crossed my arms and just spaced out for a few minutes. This whole story was sickening..
“So you mean to tell me..that I actually did my own autopsy for real..and that clones of me could be going around without me, the actual me, knowing?”
“I guess so.” - he took a big bite out of his food. At the same time, I had lost my appetite.
“Did it, anywhere, say how to distinguish the original from the clone? Or recordings, any surveillance of me in there, or - “
“Dr. Campbell?” - a large hand rested on my right shoulder. I looked around and saw a large man in military uniform. - “I am Colonel Mitchell. Would you come with me, please?”
“I-is there something wrong, Colonel?” - I asked. Perhaps there were recordings of me in Sector 4, then I’m done for.
“Nothing wrong, Dr. Campbell. We would like to speak with you for a moment.”
I slowly got up and threw Tony a quick look. He seemed a bit worried but gave me a nod. So I went with the Colonel guy. He escorted me to a new level, that I’d never been on before and took me to a small room with a table, three chairs and a big mirror on one of the walls.
“An interrogation room?” - I looked at him startled when we entered.
“Don’t worry, Dr. Campbell, we just need your thoughts on something.” - saying that he left and two white coats came in instead.
“Dr. Campbell, thank you so very much for coming.” - the first guy stretched his hand to shake mine. - “My name is Sheldon Smith and this is my colleague Craig Downey.” - the second man shook my hand. - “We work in the tech department of the base and part of our job is to monitor surveillance. We would like to ask you a few questions, if you don’t mind.”
“Of course, as long as I can help..” - I was trying to keep my cool.
“Perfect. Let’s begin. Where were you yesterday around 3 p.m.?” - he pulled out a tablet and connected it to a portable keyboard.
“Yesterday? Well, I, there was a body I was called for earlier, a John Doe, I was performing the autopsy in the morgue.” - I was using my most believably serious tone.
“Describe delivering the body, please.”
“Deliveri..? Yes, okay, I wrapped up the autopsy, prepared the report and called for a pick-up. At 3.45 p.m. a General came in with two officers, took the body away, I gave a brief oral description of the body and cause of death, handed over the report and they left.”
“Describe your actions afterwards, please.”
Hearing this made chills go up my spine. I silently gulped.
“After a couple of minutes I realized I had forgotten to include the List of the state of all internal organs, so I went down to Sector 12 to look for the General. After some time I did find him and handed over the list. That is all.”
“Can you please identify what you see in this recording?” - the first man turned the tablet to face me. At that point I almost lost it.
The recording showed me from behind, walking on a long wide steel bridge, I flip back, then continue forward, I take out a phone, nearly drop the phone, take some pictures, then turn around and run away. My face is then visible and distinguishable as mine. Weirdly enough, the recording didn’t well display the glass containers on the two sides of the bridge. I was scared and confused what to do, and then it hit me. The simplest solution ever.
Sector 4 was a secret.
“I don’t understand, what is this?” - I asked making a confused face.
“We were hoping you could tell us. Is this you in the recording?”
“It’s definitely not me. Maybe it’s a colleague who looks like me… What is this level, it’s not familiar to me?” - I looked at the two men sitting in front of me. The one question, I hoped, would make them tense. The two of them shared a look.
“The level is not of importance, can you show us your phone, please?”
“Why, of course!” - I pulled out my phone, the one I factory reset last night, and handed it over. They took a look, checked something on it and gave it back.
“You are positive this is not you?’ - the second man asked.
“I am positive that I have not been somewhere where I have never been. I’m telling you, you’ve got the wrong person.” - I crossed my arms and let out a chuckle.
“Okay, thank you for your time, Dr. Campbell. You may go. At the end of the corridor Colonel Mitchell will escort you back to your office.”
I got up, shook their hands, hoped they wouldn’t notice how sweaty mine is, and left the room. Outside the door I took out my phone and pretended to check something on it. Then I heard them:
“It’s not him. It must have been another one. Has Dr. Claus activated any other specimen?”
“No, at least the logs don’t show it. I think he’s lying.”
“He didn’t know the place.. Jesus, I knew activating Campbell 13 would lead to complications.. Poking around where he shouldn’t have earned him some sliced guts..”
“Yeah, and $3 million dollars down the drain. Let’s prepare another one, I don’t trust that guy.”
I was frozen at my spot terrified of what I was hearing. Then they started moving inside so I quickly followed the turns of the corridor and ended up in front of Colonel Mitchell and the elevator.
-----
When I got back to the morgue I texted Tony. I didn’t think those white coats were planning to leave me alone. And they sure weren’t “tech guys.” I took a quick shot of whiskey and then my phone buzzed with Tony’s reply. “Meet me down at Sector 12 after hours. We’ll investigate ourselves!”
I knew Tony is a big conspiracy fan and actually found it fun to try and solve such mysteries. But this was getting too real for me. I actually understood that if I continue poking around this, I may end up dead..or worse. Still, I got down to sector 12 after the cremation chambers were supposed to be shut down. I tried to remain in the blind spots of the cameras and waited for Tony. When he showed up he was carrying his tablet.
“Tony! The surveillance will record us, I don’t wanna get interrogated for real this time!” - I grabbed him by the arm. We needed to have a plan first.
“No worries, I set the cameras here to loop the previous 5 minutes. I’ll reset them when we get out.” - he threw me an excited look and ran towards the end of the hallway.
“Tony. Tony! Where are you off to?!” - I ran after him.
“We are going to Sector 4, baby! Now, lead the way. If I am close to the cameras in there, I can tap to their feed, too.” - we passed the last camera in Sector 12 and I continued to show the way to the steel bridge.
We passed the hanging sign for Sector 4 and entered the vast space I had found the previous day. We got in and Tony started tapping on his tablet.
“Oh, man, this is amazing!..” - he kept saying to himself. He then turned and found a standup terminal and connected his device. - “Okay, Morgan, now we will get all the information we need.”
“Tony, what are you doing?..” - I was actually very surprised that he didn’t even look around to see the glass chambers with my clones in them. Then I felt a sharp sting in my neck and for a second before I fainted I felt paralyzed and saw Tony slowly turning to face me. “I am sorry, buddy.” is the last thing I remember him saying.
-----
When I woke up, I was handcuffed to a chair in the middle of a round room with high glass windows. We seemed to be a bit higher up because I could see from the window the clones’ chambers below. I looked around and saw Tony sitting in an armchair, the two white coats who held my “interrogation” talking in the corner, and the General who took my clone away after the autopsy, sitting behind a large glass desk.
“Wh-what’s going on? Tony?..” - I started to lightly panic and looked at him with plea.
“He’s awake.” - Tony saw me and stood up. The white coats turned around, too, and the General went around his desk and sat on it with crossed arms.
“Tony, why am I cuffed??” - I was beginning to get the idea my friend wasn’t playing on my team anymore.
“I’m sorry, Morgan. This hurts me every time, but it’s the way it has to be.”
“What the hell are you talking about?!” - I started to shuffle in my chair but couldn’t break free.
“He seems to be undamaged. No skin reactions, no spontaneous vomiting or bleeding so far.” - one of the white coat men said while typing on his device.
“I also haven’t noticed any slurred speech, attention deficit, or hyperactivity.” - Tony added while studying me with his eyes and crossed arms. The white coat nodded and continued typing.
“Did he do much trouble?” - the General asked not moving his eyes from me.
“No. He just thought he’s found a secret clone experiment. I am the only one he’s told. ” - Tony replied. He looked at the General. - “You missed a fingerprint on the body you let him autopsy.”
“God damn it.. who performed the cleanup on Campbell 13?” - The General made a grimace and turned to the white coats. - “Downey?” - Downey looked at his device, tapped a few times and replied:
“Sergeant Miller, sir.”
“Send him for termination of duties, please.”
“Yes, sir.” - Downey went out of the room.
“Now… Dr. Campbell. How are you feeling?” - the General turned to me.
“What the hell is wrong with you people?!” - I started screaming. This all had to be just a nightmare, just… a nightmare.. - “How I am feeling?? I am scared and pissed, you bastards! I am pissed at you, you traitor!” - I turned my head to Tony. He just chuckled. - “I am one of them, aren’t I..” - I was trembling with sweat dripping of my face.
“One of who?..” - the General squinted at me.
“A clone. Aren’t I. I am not the original. I am not the real Morgan Campbell..” - I was clenching my teeth and doing everything I can not to cry.
Instead of an intense emotional scene of revelations, the three men in the room just started laughing. I widened my eyes and couldn’t believe what I was seeing. And hearing.
“You are not a clone! Hahaha!” - the General was wiping a tear away. - “That was hilarious.. What year do you think it is? 1981? Hahaha!” - at that point I actually felt relieved. I wasn’t a clone!
The General then leaned in front of me, his nose just a few inches away from my face and slowly said:
“You are not a clone, because you don’t even exist.”
I was now more confused and stunned than ever.
“What do you mean, I don’t exist??”
“Prepare him for debriefing.” - Instead of answering me, the General turned and ordered the other white coat. He tapped a few times on his tablet and then three large military men came into the room and grabbed me.
I was carried to a different room, much smaller, like a cell, no windows, with only a table, a chair and small laptop. I was given some sort of shot and told to type everything I can remember in detail from the past two days. I resisted but after a few days without food, I was forced to comply. I am taking the opportunity to write everything that I can in this post and maybe even keep you posted on what else happens..if I am still alive..if I still exist..
​
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5 - Finale

The Lineup is out, bold denotes acts that ended up on the lineup
This is a list of acts that are potentially playing OSLs 2019. I intend to update this list via edit from now until the lineup drop. If you want to add someone to this list just comment below and I will modify the list and credit your handle next to the edit. If you want to find someone in particular quickly I suggest you use ctrl F.

• Fesitval Key:
  
• Co = Coachella: April 12th-14th & 19th-21st
  
• RL = Rolling Loud (Miami): May 10th-12th
  
• Ha = Hangout: May 17th-19th
  
• BC = Boston Calling: May 24th-26th
  
• GB = Governors Ball: May 31st-June 2nd
  
• Bo = Bonnaroo: June 13th-16th
  
• Fi = Firefly: June 21st-23rd
  
• Fo = Forecastle: July 12th-14th
  
• Mo = Mo Pop: July 27th-28th
  
• Lo = Lollapalooza: August 1st-4th
  
• Os = Osheaga: August 2nd-4th
  

POTENTIAL HEADLINERS

• Adele: added 2/12/19: greygray
• Billy Joel: added 12/3/18: sconce2600
• Bjork: added 12/18/18: Ispilledsomething
• Bruce Springsteen (and the E Street Band): 12/3/18: sconce2600
• Cher: added 1/11/19: blvchsheep_sf
• Childish Gambino (Co, Bo, Lo) added 8/13/18: blvcksheep_sf
• Coldplay: added 2/12/19: greygray
• Daft Punk: added 8/13/18: MattressMan71
• Depeche Mode: added 12/3/18: sconce2600
• Dianna Ross: added 2/12/19: COAchillENT
• Drake: added 12/3/18: sconce2600
• The Eagles: added 3/4/19: German-Santa
• Eminem: added 8/13/18: bigpavelski35
• Eric Clapton: added 12/11/18: jdlyons81
• Foo Fighters: added 8/13/18: NICOLAWRITES
• Frank Ocean: added 8/13/18: onebluebird
• Green Day: added 8/13/18: blvcksheep_sf
• Guns 'n' Roses: added 12/3/18: sconce2600
• Gwen Stefani: added 1/4/19: amwoods13
• Jay-Z: added 12/3/18: sconce2600
• Kanye West: added 8/13/18: clouie99
• Kendrick Lamar: added 8/13/18: bigpavelski35
• Kids See Ghosts (Kanye West + Kid Cudi): added 8/15/18: Bloody_Khan_Man
• Lady Gaga: added 8/13/18: amwoods13
• Madonna: added 1/11/19: bigpavelski35
• Maroon 5: added 8/14/18: thebig3on3
• Miley Cyrus: added 3/6/19: expowderpuff
• Missy Elliott: added 3/4/19: undeadsinatra
• Nicki Minaj: added 1/3/19: amwoods13
• Paul Simon: added 3/20/19: kingheartbreak
• Pearl Jam: added 8/13/18: MattressMan71
• Phish (Bo)
• Red Hot Chili Peppers: added 8/13/18: NICOLAWRITES
• Robert Plant: added 8/14/18: thebig3on3
• Rod Stewart: added 1/22/19: sconce2600
• Roger Waters: added 12/3/18: sconce2600
• Sting: added 1/4/19: amwoods13
• The Strokes (GB, Lo) added 8/13/18: scrubbub
• Tool: added 8/13/18: bigpavelski35
• Travis Scott (RL, Ha, BC, Fi) added 8/13/18: onebluebird
• Twenty One Pilots (BC, Lo) added 8/13/18: blvcksheep_sf
• U2 added 12/28/18: jumptastick

POTENTIAL UNDERCARD:
Playing eight tracked festivals

• King Princess (Co, Ha, BC, GB, Bo, Fi, Mo, Lo)

Playing six tracked festivals

• Denzel Curry (RL, BC, GB, Fo, Lo, Os)

Playing five tracked festivals

• Chelsea Cutler (GB, Bo, Fi, Fo, Lo)
• Clairo (Co, BC, GB, Bo, Os)
• Sheck Wes (Co, RL, BC, GB, Lo)

Playing four tracked festivals

• 070 Shake (Co, GB, Fi, Os)
• The Band Camino (Ha, Fo, Mo, Lo)
• Hozier (Ha, BC, Bo, Lo)
• Kacey Musgraves (Co, GB, Bo, Lo)
• Playboi Carti (Co, RL, GB, Fo)
• Ravyn Lenae (Ha, BC, GB, Os)
• Two Feet (Ha, Bo, Fi, Os)

Playing three tracked festivals

• Bazzi (Co, Ha, GB)
• Bob Moses (Co, GB, Fi)
• Boy Pablo (Co, Lo, Os) added 8/15/18: xandervandoorn
• BROCKHAMPTON (GB, Bo, Fi) added 8/15/18: xandervandoorn
• Caamp (Fi, Fo, Mo) added 11/14/18: undeadsinatra
• Calpurnia (GB, Fo, Lo) added 11/14/18: sassypotatomouse
• Cautious Clay (BC, GB, Lo)
• Dennis Lloyd (Co, GB, Fi)
• Gucci Mane (RL, Fi, Bo)
• Gunna (RL, Fi, Lo)
• Hippo Campus (GB, Bo, Fi)
• Hop Along (Co, Fi, Fo)
• J.I.D (RL, Mo, Lo) added 1/11/19: blvcksheep_sf
• Jpegmafia (Co, Fi, Os)
• Judah & The Lion (Ha, Fo, Lo)
• Lauren Daigle (Ha, Fi, Lo)
• Lil Wayne (RL, GB, Lo)
• The Nude Party (Bo, Fi, Lo)
• Sales (Co, Fi, Os)
• Shaed (GB, Fi, Lo)
• Shame (Co, Ha, BC)
• Still Woozy (Co, GB, Lo)
• Taylor Bennett (Ha, GB, Fi)
• Tierra Whack (Co, Lo, Os) added 12/16/18: sassypotatomouse
• Tyla Yaweh (Bo, Fi, Lo)
• Unknown Mortal Orchestra (Co, Bo, Fi)
• U.S. Girls (Co, GB, Os)
• Yellow Days (Co, Mo, Os)
• Walk the Moon (Ha, Bo, Fi)

Playing two tracked festivals

• 21 Savage (RL, Lo)
• Agoria (Co, Os)
• Alison Wonderland (Ha, Fi) added 8/13/18: Darthvancer
• Arkells (Fi, Lo)
• Beach House (Bo, Os)
• Blood Orange (Co, GB)
• CamelPhat (Co, Lo)
• Castlecomer (Ha, Fi)
• CloZee (Co, Lo)
• Coi Leray (RL, Lo)
• Crooked Colours (Bo, Fi)
• Dean Lewis (Lo, Os)
• Diplo (Co, Ha)
• Ducky (Bo, Lo)
• Ella Mai (Co, Mo) added 8/13/18: onebluebird
• Emily King (Co, Lo)
• Evan Giia (Fi, Fo)
• FKJ (Co, Lo)
• Flora Cash (Ha, Fi)
• Flipp Dinero (RL, Fi)
• Gesaffelstein (Co, GB)
• Gorgon City (Co, Ha)
• Half•alive (Fi, Lo)
• H.E.R. (Co, Lo)
• The Interrupters (Co, Ha)
• J Balvin (Co, Lo)
• Jade Bird (Ha, Lo)
• Jeremy Zucker (GB, Lo)
• Jonas Blue (Ha, Lo)
• Khalid (Co, Ha)
• Kid Cudi (Co, RL)
• Killy (RL, Lo)
• Kygo (Ha, Fi)
• Lennon Stella (Lo, Os)
• Lil Baby (RL, Lo)
• Lil Mosey (RL, Fi)
• Lil Skies (RL, Lo)
• Loud Luxury (Ha, Lo)
• The Lumineers (Ha, Bo)
• Magic City Hippies (Bo, Lo)
• Mansionair (Co, Fi)
• Max Frost (Fi, Lo)
• Medasin (Bo, Fi)
• Men I Trust (Co, Lo)
• Mura Masa (Ha, BC) added 8/15/18: xandervandoorn
• NGHTMRE (Co, Bo)
• Nombe (Fi, Os)
• Nora En Pure (Co, Fi)
• The Record Company (Bo, Fi)
• Ric Wilson (RL, GB)
• Rich The Kid (RL, Lo)
• Ripe (Bo, Fi)
• RL Grime (Bo, Lo) added 8/13/18: Darthvancer
• Rosalia (Co, Lo)
• Rubblebucket (Bo, Fi)
• Ruston Kelly (Bo, Lo)
• Shallou (Co, Lo)
• Sharon Van Etten (Lo, Os) added 11/14/18: scrubbub
• Shlump (Bo, Lo)
• Slenderbodies (Ha, Lo)
• Smino (Co, Lo)
• Snakehips (BC, Fo)
• Soccer Mommy (Co, GB) added 10/15/18: scotty_spiv
• $uicideboy$ (Fi, Os)
• Sunflower Bean (GB, Fo)
• Tank and the Bangas (BC, Fi)
• Tobi Lou (RL, GB)
• Tyler, The Creator (GB, Fi) added 8/13/18: bigpavelski35
• Wallows (Co, Mo) added 11/14/18: undeadsinatra
• Whipped Cream (Bo, Lo)
• Yaeji (BC, Lo)
• YBN Cordae (RL, Lo)
• Zhu (GB, Bo) added 8/13/18: Darthvancer

Playing one tracked festival

• 10K.Caash (RL)
• 123 Andres (Lo)
• 12th Planet (Bo)
• 3LAU (Fi)
• 4B (Fi)
• 6lack (Lo)
• 88Glam (Co)
• A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie (RL)
• Aaron Aye (GB)
• Adia Vitoria (BC)
• Against the Current (Lo)
• Age.Sex.Location (Lo)
• Alesso (Lo) added 2/12/19: greygray
• (Sandy) Alex G (Lo) added 8/15/18: 6footrose
• Alexander 23 (Lo)
• All Them Witches (Bo)
• Ama Lou (Lo)
• Amber Mark (GB)
• Âme (Co)
• Anders (Os)
• Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness (Fi)
• Anna Lunoe (Co)
• Anoushka Shankar (Bo)
• Aphex Twin (Co)
• The Artisanals (Fo)
• Asian Doll (RL)
• Awolnation (Fi)
• Baby G (RL)
• Baby Goth (RL)
• Bad Child (Lo)
• Bad Suns (Lo)
• Bakar (Co)
• Bassnectar (Co) added 12/16/18: sassypotatomouse
• Baynk (Lo)
• Bayonne (Lo)
• Bblasian (Fo)
• Beach Bunny (Lo)
• Beach Fossils (Co)
• Beau Young Prince (Fi)
• Bebe Rexha (Ha)
• Bendigo Fletcher (Fo)
• Big Baby Scumbag (RL)
• Big Red Machine (BC) 12/5/18:scrubhub
• Big Wild (Fo)
• Blaatina (RL)
• Blac Youngsta (RL)
• Black Tiger Sex Machine (Os)
• BLACKPINK (Co)
• Blond:ish (Co)
• Bloodpop® (Fi)
• Blueface (RL)
• Boa (Fo)
• Bombino (Bo)
• Bones (RL)
• Boombox Cartel (Lo)
• Born Dirty (Lo)
• Brianna Perry (RL)
• Bring me the Horizon (Lo)
• Bruno Mali (RL)
• Bryce Vine (Ha)
• Buddy (Ha)
• Bulow (Lo)
• Bumpin Uglies (Fi)
• Burna Boy (Co)
• Calboy (Lo)
• Calypse Rose (Co)
• Car Seat Headrest (Fi)
• Carly Johnson (Fo)
• Caroline Rose (Bo)
• Catfish and the Bottlemen (Bo)
• Charlesthefirst (Lo)
• Charli XCX (GB) added 8/13/18: amwoods13
• Charlotte Gainsbourg (Co)
• Cherry Glazerr (Bo)
• Chevelle (Lo)
• Chief Keef (RL)
• Chief Pound (RL)
• Chon (Co) added 11/14/18: deluxe212
• Chris Lake (Co)
• CID (Bo)
• Cirez D (Co)
• City and Colour (Os)
• City Girls (RL)
• City Morgue (RL)
• Coca Vango (RL)
• Cola Boyy (Co)
• Comethazine (RL)
• Conan Gray (Lo)
• Cousin Stizz (Lo)
• Craig Brown Band (Mo)
• Cray (Lo)
• Crizzy (Lo)
• CVBZ (Fi)
• D Savage (RL)
• Danileigh (RL)
• Danny Towers (RL)
• Dashboard Confessional (Fi)
• Dave P (Co)
• Deafheaven (Bo)
• Deal Casino (GB)
• Deep Dish (Co)
• Deorro (Lo)
• Dessa (BC)
• Des Rocs (Lo)
• Deva Mahal (Bo)
• Diablo (Lo)
• Dillon Francis (Co)
• DJ Amira & Kayla (Lo)
• DJ Diesel (Shaquille O'Neal) (Lo) added 1/11/19: scotty_spivs
• DJ Koze (Os)
• DJ Mel (Bo)
• DMX (RL)
• Dombresky (Bo)
• Donna Missal (Bo)
• The Doozers (Mo)
• Dorfex Bos (Bo)
• Dr. Fresch (Ha)
• Dragondeer (Fi)
• Dusky (Co)
• dvsn (Co)
• Ekali (Fi) added 8/13/18: Darthvancer
• Elephante (Lo)
• Elley Duhe (Ha)
• Emo Nite (Fi)
• Eprom (Bo)
• Eric Biddines (RL)
• Erin Rae (Fo)
• Evan Konrad (Lo)
• Evan Giia (Fo)
• Falu's Bazaar (Lo)
• Fantastic Negrito (Lo)
• Faye Webster (Bo)
• Fendi P (RL)
• First Aid Kit (Fo)
• Flume (Lo) added 8/13/18: Darthvancer
• Francis and the Lights (Lo)
• Freddie Gibbs (RL)
• The Frights (Co)
• G Flip (Lo)
• G Herbo (RL)
• The Garden (Co)
• GASHI (RL)
• Gat$ (RL)
• GG Magree (Lo)
• Ghostemane (Lo)
• Glorious Sons (Os)
• Gojira (Bo)
• GoldLink (RL) added 1/2/19: dukiduke
• Go$h (RL)
• Goth Babe (Mo)
• Gothboiclique (Lo)
• Gramatik (Bo) added 12/16/18: cunever0
• Grandson (Ha) added 10/11/18: walkerkevin97
• Great Good Fine Ok (Fi)
• Greta Van Fleet (BC)
• Grizfolk (Fi)
• Grlwood (Fo)
• Grownboitrap (RL)
• Guapdad 4000 (RL)
• Gucci Gang (Co)
• Gud Vibrations vs Slugz music (Lo)
• Gus Dapperton (Fi)
• Guster (BC)
• Guy Gerber (Co)
• Halfnoise (Fi)
• Harry Hudson (Lo)
• Hayley Kiyoko (Lo)
• Heidi Lawden (Co)
• Hekler (Bo)
• Highly Suspect (Fo)
• The Him (Ha)
• Hippie Sabotage (Ha)
• Hot Since 82 (Co)
• Hundredth (GB)
• Hurray for the Riff Raff (Co)
• HYUKOH (Co)
• Ibeyi (Bo)
• Ice Billion Berg (RL)
• Iceage (Co)
• Idris Elba (Co)
• Iglooghost (Bo)
• Illiterate Light (Lo)
• Ilo Ilo (Lo)
• Ilovemakonnen (RL)
• Indigochildrick (RL)
• Israel Nash (Fo)
• Jackie Foster (Lo)
• Jade Cicada (Bo)
• Jaden Smith (Co)
• Jambinai (Co)
• Jan Blomqvist (Co)
• Javiera Mena (Co)
• Jauz (Co)
• Jaydayoungan (RL)
• Jesse Royal (Ha)
• Jim James (Bo)
• Joanie Leeds & The Nightlights (Lo)
• Joji (Lo)
• Jony J (RL)
• Joy Wave (Fi)
• Jukebox the Ghost (Fi)
• Justin Jay (Ha)
• Just Loud (Lo)
• Kash Doll (RL)
• Kevin Gates (RL)
• The Kid Laroi (RL)
• Kid Quill (Fi)
• Kid Trunks (RL)
• Killuminatii (RL)
• Kilo Kish (BC)
• King Henry (Fi)
• Kirblagoop (RL)
• The Knocks (Fi)
• Knower (Fi)
• Kodak Black (RL)
• Kölsch (Co)
• Lancey Foux (RL)
• Lane 8 (Lo) added 1/30/19: JWrither
• Las Cafeteras (Bo)
• Las Robertas (Co)
• Lauren Lane (Co)
• Lee Burridge (Co)
• Leebrian (RL)
• Leikeli47 (Fo)
• Lettuce (Fo)
• Lightskinkeisha (RL)
• Liily (Lo)
• Lil Berete (RL)
• Lil Dicky (Bo)
• Lil Duke (RL)
• Lil Durk (RL)
• Lil Gotit (RL)
• Lil Keed (RL)
• Lil Pump (RL)
• Lil Tjay (RL)
• Lil Uzi Vert (RL)
• Lil Yachty (RL)
• Lily Allen (GB)
• Liquid Stranger (Bo)
• Lolo Zouaï (Fi)
• The Lonely Island (Bo)
• Los Tucanes De Tijuana (Co)
• Lostboycrew (Fi)
• Lucas Dell'abate (Lo)
• Lucius: (Fo) added 1/22/19: undeadsinatra
• Lykke Li (Fi)
• Madeintyo (Ha)
• Magic Giant (Fi)
• Maliibu Mitch (RL)
• Mallrat (Os)
• Malu Travejo (Lo)
• Manic Focus (Lo)
• Manu Crooks (RL)
• Maren Morris (Bo)
• The Marias (Fo)
• MATOMA (Lo)
• Matt Ox (RL)
• Meek Mill (Lo)
• Megan Thee Stallion (RL)
• Melii (RL)
• Memba (Bo)
• Members Only (RL)
• Mersiv (Bo)
• The Messenger Birds (Mo)
• The Messthetics (Co)
• Migos (RL)
• Miles Kane (GB)
• Mkultra (GB)
• MØ (GB)
• Mo Lowda & The Humble (Fi)
• Monsieur Perine (Bo)
• Moon Boots (Ha)
• Moon Taxi (Fo)
• Morgxn (Ha)
• Mr Eazi (Co)
• Mt. Joy (Fo)
• Mulatto (RL)
• Naeem (BC)
• Nahko & Medicine for the People (Bo)
• Naked Giants (Fi)
• NAS (GB)
• Nate Dae (RL)
• Nessly (RL)
• The New Respects (Lo)
• NF (Lo)
• Nic Fanciulli (Co)
• Nicole Moudaber (Co)
• Njomza (GB)
• Nocturnal Sunshine (Co)
• Normani (Lo)
• Nothing, Nowhere (Lo)
• Ocho Ojos (Co)
• Ookay (Co)
• OPIUO (Lo)
• The Orphan the Poet (Fi)
• Otown Marco (RL)
• Pardison Fontaine (RL)
• Parquet Courts (Bo)
• Party Favor (Lo)
• Party Pupils (Fi)
• Patrice Bäumel (Co)
• Peach Pit (Bo)
• Penny & Sparrow (Fo)
• Perfume (Co)
• Perry Farrell's Kind Heaven Orchestra (Lo)
• Phosphorescent (Fi)
• Phresher (RL)
• PJ Morton (Fo)
• PLS&TY (Fi)
• PNB Rock (RL)
• Polo & Pan (Co)
• Polo G (RL)
• The Pop Ups (Lo)
• Princess Nokia (BC)
• Pusha T (Co) added 12/5/18: undeadsinatra
• Q Brothers (Lo)
• Quando Rondo (RL)
• Queen Key (RL)
• Rackzgod (RL)
• Rae Sremmurd (RL)
• Rakeem Miles (Fi)
• RAT BOY (Co)
• Razorbumps (Co)
• The Red Clay Strays (Ha)
• The Red Pears (Co)
• Richy Samo (RL)
• Rick Ross (RL)
• Rico Nasty (Co)
• Rival Sons (Bo)
• Rob Markman (RL)
• Robb Bank$ (RL)
• Rod Wave (RL)
• Role Model (Lo)
• Ross From Friends (Co)
• Ruen Brothers (Fo)
• Russo (Lo)
• Ryan Beatty (Lo)
• Said the Sky (Lo)
• SAINt JHN (RL)
• San Holo (Lo) added 3/12/19: bigpavelski35
• Saweetie (RL)
• School of Rock Allstars (Lo)
• serpentwithfeet (Co)
• Shoreline Mafia (RL)
• Sidney Gish (BC)
• Siena Liggins (Mo)
• SiR (Co)
• Ski Mask The Slump God (RL)
• Slow Hollows (Lo)
• Snails (Lo) added 12/17/18: undeadsinatra
• SNBRN (Bo)
• Social House (Co)
• Sodown (Fi)
• Soja (Fi)
• Sonia De Los Santos (Lo)
• SOPHIE (Co)
• Soulja Boy (RL)
• Soulection (Co)
• Space Jam The Pilot (RL)
• Space Jesus (Bo)
• Spaceghostpurpp (RL)
• Spazz Cardigan (Fo)
• Spencer Ludwig (Ha)
• Splash Zanotti (RL)
• Splurge (RL)
• Steady Holiday (Co)
• Sunsquabi (Bo)
• Suzi Wu (GB)
• Svdden Death (Lo)
• Sweater Beats (Fi)
• Sylvan Lacue (RL)
• SZA (GB) added 12/13/18: scrubbub
• Tale Of Us (Co)
• Tara Brooks (Co)
• Tayla Parx (Lo)
• Tee Grizzley (RL)
• Tenacious D (Lo)
• Tessa Violet (Lo)
• Thouxanbanfauni (RL)
• Thumpasaurus (Fi)
• Tiny Moving Parts (Mo)
• Tokimonsta (Bo)
• Tokyo Jetz (RL)
• Tomasa del Real (Co)
• Trampled By Turtles (Bo)
• Trippie Redd (RL)
• Tund3 (RL)
• Turnover (Co)
• Two Friends (Ha)
• T.Y. (RL)
• Ty Dolla $ign (GB)
• Ty Segall & White Fence (White Fence will be in Europe OSLs weekend) (Co)
• Tyga (RL)
• Tyler Childers (Fo) added 1/21/19: fvckswithit
• Unotheactivist (RL)
• Upsahl (Lo)
• Valee (RL)
• Vince Staples (GB)
• VHS Collection (Fi)
• Virgil Abloh (Co)
• The Voidz (GB)
• Waax (Fo)
• Waka Flocka Flame (RL)
• Walker & Royce (Co)
• Warhol.SS (RL)
• Wavedash (Lo)
• White Reaper (BC)
• Wifisfuneral (RL)
• Wilderado (Lo)
• Willaris. K (Lo)
• Win and Woo (Lo)
• Witt Lowry (Lo)
• Wiz Khalifa (Co)
• Wix Khalifa & Curren$y (RL)
• The Wood Brothers (Bo)
• X Ambassadors (Fi)
• YBS Skola (RL)
• Yeek (Lo)
• Yella Beezy (RL)
• YNW Melly (RL)
• Yoke Lore (Fi)
• Yoshi Flower (Lo)
• Young Fathers (BC)
• Young M.A (RL)
• Young Nudy (RL)
• Young Thug (RL)
• Youngboy Never Broke Again (RL)
• Yultron (Lo)
• Yung Baby Tate (RL)
• Yung Bae (Fi)
• Yung Bans (RL)
• Yung Bleu (RL)
• Yung Gravy (Lo)
• Yung Simmie (RL)
• Yungeen Ace (RL)
• Ziggy Alberts (Fi)
• Zoey Dollaz (RL)

Added by users, not currently playing any heavy crossover festivals so far

• Alan Walker: added 2/12/19: German-Santa
• Alanis Morissette: added 1/16/19: Sarra550
• Alex Cameron: added 1/14/19: sconce2600
• Allah-Las: added 8/22/18: mizupman24
• Amine: added 8/15/18: dukiduke
• Animal Collective: added 1/8/19: superflav360
• Axwell: added 1/21/19: JWrither
• Bad Books: added 11/14/18: scrubhub
• Banks: added 8/13/18: Darthvancer
• Beirut: added 2/2/19: k6ash
• Better Oblivion Community Center: added 3/8/19: doomzeach
• Bilinda Butcher: added 8/15/18: xandervandoorn
• Birocratic: added 8/15/18: xandervandoorn
• Blondie: added 8/22/18: mizupman24
• Bob Dylan: added 1/22/19: amwoods13
• Bob Weir: added 1/11/19: scotty_spivs
• Boston: added 1/22/19: BenderIsGreatBendr
• Breakbot: 2/6/19: BenderIsGreatBendr
• Brothertiger: added 8/15/18: xandervandoorn
• BTS: added 3/22/19: j0nnyGreenGiant
• Cake: added 2/8/19: undeadsinatra
• Capital Cities: added 1/7/19: unpluggedcord
• Chai: added 3/25/19: strokesnmonkeys18
• Charly Bliss: added 3/8/19: tungholio
• Christian Scott: added 8/14/18: thebig3on3
• Christina Aguilera: added 1/29/18: undeadsinatra
• Cigarettes After Sex: added 1/14/19: sconce2600
• Claypool Lennon Delirium: added 3/5/19: undeadsinatra
• Club Night: added 3/23/19: holocene22
• Courtney Marie Andrews: added 1/22/19: undeadsinatra
• Craft Spells: added 8/15/18: xandervandoorn
• Curtis Harding: added 11/14/18: undeadsinatra
• Danny Brown: added 12/5/18: undeadsinatra
• De La Soul: added 1/31/19: bigpavelski35
• Deep Purple: added 1/22/19: BenderIsGreatBendr
• Dinosaur Jr: added 8/22/18: mizupman24
• Disclosure: added 2/1/19: DangeslowBustle
• Dream Wife: added 12/5/18: undeadsinatra
• Dreezy: added 8/15/18: xandervandoorn
• Dua Lipa: added 8/13/18:blvcksheep_sf
• Edie Brickell & the New Bohemians: added 3/26/19: amwoods13
• Electric Youth: added 8/15/18: xandervandoorn
• Ellie Goulding: added 8/13/18: Landanlorenzo
• Elujay: added 8/15/18: xandervandoorn
• Eric Prydz: added 2/1/19: DangeslowBustle
• Erykah Badu: added 1/16/19: BlogOnJarvis
• ESTA: added 8/15/18: xandervandoorn
• Evanescence: added 1/4/19: amwoods13
• The Family Crest: added 3/25/19: cordovatron
• Feist: added 8/15/18: xandervandoorn
• FIDLAR: added 1/7/19: blvcksheep_sf
• Flamingosis: added 8/15/18: xandervandoorn
• The Floozies: added 12/16/18: dukiduke
• Foreigner: added 1/22/19: BenderIsGreatBendr
• Forty Feet Tall: added 3/22/19: blvcksheep_sf
• Foster The People: added 3/22/19: cordovatron
• Foxtails Brigade: added 3/25/19: cordovatron
• French Cassettes: added 3/14/19: k6ash
• Gangsta Boo: added 12/5/18: undeadsinatra
• George Fitzgerald: added 1/14/19: sconce2600
• Gilligan Moss: added 1/14/19: sconce2600
• Giorgio Moroder: added 1/30/19: r1z3n
• Glass Animals: added 2/7/19: thecha1rmen
• Godspeed You! Black Emperor: added 12/13/18: THEneoriply379
• The Good, the Bad, and the Queen: added 1/30/19: brendannnnnn
• Grizzly Bear: added 2/5/19: deluxe212
• Haim: added 10/15/18: scotty_spivs
• High Highs: added 8/15/18: xandervandoorn
• The Hives: added 11/29/18: undeadsinatra
• Holy Ghost!: added 8/15/18: xandervandoorn
• IAMSU!: added 1/31/19: undeadsinatra
• Imagined Herbal Flows: added 8/15/18: xandervandoorn
• Injury Reserve: added 1/3/19: Hiimjose
• The Inspector Cluzo: added 11/14/18: undeadsinatra
• Interpol: added 8/13/18: amwoods13
• Iration: added 2/12/19: festy375
• Iron & Wine and Calexico: added 3/21/19: HandsomestPete
• Isaiah Rashad: added 8/13/18: PanchoVillaa
• The Isley Brothers: added 3/6/19: undeadsinatra
• Jason Mraz: added 2/8/19: OrangePeanut01
• Jay Rock: added 2/4/19: dukiduke
• Jay Som: added 3/23/19: coolandthegang
• Jeremih: added 8/15/18: xandervandoorn
• Jhene Aiko: added 8/15/18: xandervandoorn
• John Butler Trio: added 3/6/19: njgeebs
• Joy Wave: added 2/1/19: TheMayerOfPortland
• Julio Iglesias: added 8/15/18: xandervandoorn
• Jupiter & okwess: added 1/21/19: bigpavelski35
• K?d: added 8/15/18: xandervandoorn
• Kenny Loggins 1/11/19: scotty_spivs
• Keys N Krates: added 8/15/18: xandervandoorn
• Kid Harpoon: added 8/15/18: xandervandoorn
• King Dream: added 3/23/19: MilitantManatee
• Kurt Vile: added 3/8/19: justin_tino
• Maddy Sipes: added 3/22/19: blvcksheep_sf
• Modest Mouse: added 3/26/19: DirtBasedSoap
• Laff Trax (Toro y Moi x Nosaj Thing): added 1/13/19: sanfranpsycho0
• Lana Del Rey: added 2/12/19: greygray
• Last Dinosaurs: added 8/15/18: xandervandoor
• Late Night Alumni: added 8/15/18: xandervandoorn
• Lemaitre: added 10/15/18: scotty_spivs
• Lenny Kravitz: added 8/13/18: NICOLAWRITES
• Leon Bridges: added 1/4/19: amwoods13
• Liz Phair: added 11/14/18: undeadsinatra
• Love Fiend: added 3/22/19: DJDevchav
• Low Cut Connie: added 11/14/18: undeadsinatra
• LSD: added 3/12/19: absurdvictory
• Ludacris: added 1/16/19: Sarra550
• Lupe Fiasco: added 8/15/18: dukiduke
• Lynyrd Skynyrd: added 3/22/19: beaux95
• Maceo Plex: added 2/1/19: DangeslowBustle
• Marshmello: added 2/11/19: Walkerkevin97
• Matador! Soul Sounds: added 2/9/19: thebig3on3
• Matisyahu: added 1/29/19: IamYourBestFriendAMA
• The Mattson 2: added 3/22/19: bigpavelski35
• Meiko: added 8/15/18: xandervandoorn
• Melody Gardot: added 8/15/18: xandervandoorn
• Miami Horror: added 8/13/18: MollFlanders
• Mick Jenkins: added 8/15/18: dukiduke
• Monsta X: added 2/28/29: undeadsinatra
• Moods: added 8/15/18: xandervandoorn
• Moses Sumney: added 1/12/19: southside16
• Mungion: added 8/14/18: thebig3on3
• My Bloody Valentine: added 8/13/18:amwoods13
• Neon Indian: 2/6/19: BenderIsGreatBendr
• New Order: added 1/22/19: amwoods13
• Nick Murphy: added 8/13/18: Darthvancer
• No Vacation: added 8/15/18: xandervandoorn
• Norah Jones: added 1/28:19 jdlyons81
• Nothing but Thieves: added 8/23/18: blvcksheep_sf
• NxWorries: added 8/15/18: xandervandoorn
• Olafur Arnalds: added 2/3/19: thebig3on3
• P-Lo: added 1/31/19: undeadsinatra
• Painted Blue: 3/22/19: blvcksheep_sf
• Panda Bear: added 1/8/19: superflav360
• Paramore: added 8/13/18: MollFlanders
• Pardoner: added 3/22/19: DJDevchav
• Peter Bjorn and John: added 2/5/19: amwoods13
• Pigeons Playing Ping Pong: added 12/17/18: purseandboots
• Pllush: added 3/22/19: DJDevchav
• Pond: added 1/14/19: sconce2600
• Poppy: added 2/1/19: WhoTookPlasticJesus
• Post Precious: added 3/25/19: jman457
• Primal Scream: added 1/29/19: undeadsinatra
• The Raconteurs: added 12/30/18: bigpavelski35
• The Radio Flyers: added 3/22/19: DJDevchav
• The Rapture: added 2/6/19: BenderIsGreatBendr
• Raveena: added 1/31/19: kungfugilly
• Rezz: added 2/12/19: greygray
• Rosin Murphy: added 1/29/19: southside16
• Run the Jewels: added 2/1/19: BlogOnJarvis
• Sacha Robotti: added 12/17/18: purseandboots
• Sage the Gemini: added 1/31/19: undeadsinatra
• Saint Motel: added 8/13/18: MollFlanders
• Sam Evian: added 3/22/19: tayyjean
• Scary Pockets: added 3/22/19: undeadsinatra
• Seven Lions: added 12/17/18: JWrither
• Sheryl Crow: added 8/13/18: amwoods13
• Sia: added 2/7/19: amwoods13
• Silk City (Diplo + Mark Ronson): added 1/12/19: southside16
• Smash Mouth: added 8/13/18: scotty_spivs
• Snoh Aalegra: added 1/31/19: kungfugilly
• Soja: added 2/12/19: German-Santa
• St. Lucia: added 3/8/19: Drugba
• Steve Miller Band: added 1/20/19: BenderIsGreatBendr
• Stiff Little Fingers: added 12/5/18: amwoods13
• The Stray Cats: added 3/7/19: undeadsinatra
• Streetlight Manifesto: added 2/1/19: paledragon64
• STRFKR: added 2/5/19: adrian1878
• The Struts: added 2/25/19: thebigpavelski35
• Sure Sure: added 3/22/19: jellywong
• Swedish House Mafia: added 10/18/18: lukep2349
• SWMRS: added 1/7/19: blvcksheep_sf
• T-Pain: added 12/16/18: sassypotatomouse
• Taylor McFerrin: added 8/14/18: thebig3on3
• Tears For Fears: added 8/15/18: xandervandoorn
• Thee Oh Sees: added 2/6/19: Brew_Swillis
• Thom Yorke: added 1/8/19: superflav360
• Tiesto: added 2/12/19: greygray
• Tigers Jaw: added 8/15/18: xandervandoorn
• Tijuana Panthers: added 8/22/18: mizupman24
• Tokyo Police Club: 2/6/19: BenderIsGreatBendr
• Tove Styrke: added 8/13/18: Landanlorenzo
• Troyboi: added 2/12/19: greygray
• Troye Sivan: added 8/13/18: onebluebird
• TV on the Radio: added 1/2/19: bigpavelski35
• Two Door Cinema Club: added 2/5/19: Purplebot5
• Umphrey's McGee: added 3/19/19: cordovatron
• Virtual Self: added 1/11/19: OMYXP
• The War on Drugs: added 3/8/19: justin_tino
• Washed Out: 2/6/19: BenderIsGreatBendr
• The Waterboys: 2/7/19: amwoods13
• Wolf Alice: added 2/5/19: scrubbub
• Wolfmother: added 11/29/18: undeadsinatra
• YGTUT: added 8/15/18: dukiduke
• Zero 7: added 3/12/19: amwoods13

The following have appeared at OSLs once before but have not released new material since their first stint and are therefore less likely to appear in 2019 (To date only Beck and Vance Joy have returned WITHOUT new material, making the following acts much less likely)

• Air (2016)
• Al Green (2010)
• Animal Kingdom (2012)
• Benevento/Russo Duo (2008)
• Big Audio Dynamite (Not currently a band) (2011)
• Big Grams (Not currently a band) (2016)
• Billy Idol(10th billed at BottleRock last year) (2015)
• Chance the Rapper (2016) added 8/13/18: bigpavelski35
• Crazy Horse (2012)
• Curtis Jones (2015)
• Dan Deacon (2015)
• D'Angelo (2013) (& the Vanguard (2015))
• DIIV (2016)
• Dirty Dozen Brass Band (2012)
• Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem! (2016)
• Duck Sauce (2014)
• Dum Dum Girls (2014)
• Dumpstaphunk (2013)
• Duran Duran (2016)
• Extra Golden (2009)
• Grimes (2016) added 8/13/18: Landanlorenzo
• Hall & Oates (2013)
• Heron Oblivion (2016)
• Hiatus Kaiyote (2016)
• Hot Chip (2015)
• Jack Garratt (2016)
• Jenny Lewis (Playing BottleRock this year) (2014)
• Jurassic 5 (2013)
• Karl Denson's Tiny Universe (2015)
• Lapsley (2016)
• The Last Shadow Puppets (Not currently a band) (2016)
• Lewis Del Mar (2016)
• Lionel Richie (2016)
• Manu Chao (2008)
• The Meters (2011)
• The Mighty Underdogs (2008)
• Miike Snow (2016)
• Nate Ruess (2015)
• Peaches (2016)
• Plump DJs (2013)
• Ra Ra Riot (2016)
• SBTRKT (2014)
• Sky Ferreira (2015)
• The Soul Rebels (Bo) (2014)
• Steel Pulse (2008)
• Steve Winwood (2008)
• Stevie Wonder (2012)
• Sufjan Stevens (2016)
• Third eye Blind (Playing Bill Graham) (2016)
• Thomas Jack (2016)
• Ween (2009)
• Whitney (Playing Haldren Pop Festival the same weekend in Europe) (2016)
• Yeah Yeah Yeahs (2013)

The following is a list of bands that have played OSLs more than once and the gaps between return performances, considering only five acts have ever played OSLs three times, all acts in this section should be considered less likely than acts that have played OSLs once or never. Note that no act has ever returned quicker than a three year gap, Givers, Fantastic Negrito, and Big Boi were all makeup performances for prior year cancellations.
Headliners

• Radiohead 08 & 16 (eight year gap)
• Metallica 12 & 17 (five year gap) (Played two years ago)

Threepeaters

• Beck 08, 12, & 18 (Played last year)
• Chromeo (BC) 10, 14, & 18 (Played last year, Playing the Greek in June)
• The Black Keys 08, 11, & 15 (first two appearances as undercard, third as headliner) (playing Chase Center) added 8/22/18: mizupman24
• Dawes (Fo) 10, 13, & 17 (Played two years ago)
• Portugal. The Man 09, 12 & 18 (Played last year)

Three year gap

• Arctic Monkeys 11 & 14
• Bleachers 14 & 17 (Played two years ago)
• Foals 13 & 16 (Playing Boardmasters the same weekend in the UK)
• GRiZ (Ha, Bo, Fi) 13 & 16
• Grouplove 11 & 14
• Lyrics Born 08 & 11
• Mac DeMarco (Co, Bo, Os) 15 & 18 (Played last year)
• Macklemore & Ryan Lewis 11 & 14
• Nicki Bluhm & the Gramblers 11 & 14
• Odesza (BC, Bo) 15 & 18 (Played last year)
• Phoenix 10 & 13
• Pretty Lights 10 & 13
• Tame Impala (Co, BC, Mo, Lo, Os) 12 & 15 (Headlined Treasure Island last year, playing Flow festival same weekend)
• Vance Joy 14 & 17 (Played two years ago)
• Warpaint 14 & 17 (Played two years ago)
• Zedd (Co, Fi) 13 & 16

Four year gap

• Andrew Bird (Fo) 08 & 12
• Band of Horses 09 & 13
• Caveman 12 & 16
• Matt and Kim 09 & 13
• The National (Bo) 09 & 13 (In Europe OSLs weekend)
• Regina Spektor 08 & 12
• Sean Hayes 08 & 12
• Toro Y Moi 11 & 15 (Playing the Greek in June)
• Two Gallants 08 & 12
• Tycho 14 & 18 (Played last year)
• The Walkmen 08 & 12
• Young the Giant (Fi) 13 & 17 (Played two years ago, Busy all OSLs weekend, playing the Greek)

Five year gap

• Atmosphere 09 & 14
• Bomba Estereo 12 & 17 (Played two years ago)
• The Devil Makes Three 10 & 15
• Electric Guest 12 & 17 (Played two years ago)
• The Growlers 13 & 18 (Played last year)
• Lord Huron (BC, GB)11 & 16 (Playing BottleRock this year)
• Major Lazer (GB) 11 & 16
• The Mother Hips 08 & 13
• Rebelution 12 & 17 (Played two years ago)

Six year gap

• Big Gigantic 12 & 18 (Played last year)
• Father John Misty 12 & 18 (Played last year, playing Flow festival same weekend)
• Little Dragon 11 & 17 (Played two years ago)

Seven year gap

• Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals 08 & 15
• Cold War Kids 08 & 15
• Empire of the Sun 10 & 17 (Played two years ago)
• Marco Benevento 10 & 17 (Played two years ago)

Eight year gap

• Avett Brothers 09 & 17 (Played two years ago)
• Cage the Elephant 09 & 17 (Played two years ago)
• Janelle Monae (Co, BC, Lo) 10 & 18 (Played last year)
• Rogue Wave 08 & 16

Ten year gap

• Bon Iver 08 & 18 (Played last year)
• Broken Social Scene 08 & 18 (Played last year)

The following are past lineup drop dates, all lineup drops from 2012 to 2018 have occurred on a Tuesday:

• 2018: 4/3
• 2017: 4/4
• 2016: 4/5
• 2015: 3/24
• 2014: 4/8
• 2013: 4/16
• 2012: 4/17

ACTS CONFIRMED PRIOR TO LINEUP DROP:

• Flume: Confirmed by hanzel44 who leaked Janet Jackson, Florence + the Machine, and Future in 2018. Confirmed via OSLs clue 1.
  
• Paul Simon: Confirmed by multiple publications including Outsidelands themselves. Reported by kingheartbreak who leaked the 2018 headliners.
  
• Childish Gambino: Reported by kingheartbreak who leaked the 2018 headliners.
  
• The Lumineers: Reported by kingheartbreak who leaked the 2018 headliners. Leaked via Bands in Town
  
• Better Oblivion Community Center: Confirmed via OSLs clue 2.
  
• Denzel Curry: Confirmed via OSLs clue 3.
  
• Aurora: Confirmed via OSLs clue 4.
  
• Kacey Musgraves: Confirmed via OSLs clue 5.
  
• Flying Lotus: Confirmed via OSLs clue 6.
  
• Judah & The Lion: Confirmed via OSLs clue 7.
  
• Hozier: Leaked via Bands in Town
  

NAMES THAT ULTIMATELY ENDED UP ON THE LINEUP THAT WERE ON NEITHER LIST (26):

• Blink-182
• Counting Crows
• Flying Lotus
• Alina Baraz
• Mavis Staples
• The Neighbourhood
• Aurora
• Justin Martin
• Luttrell
• The California Honeydrops
• Brasstracks
• The Funk Hunters
• MorMor
• Miya Folick
• ALLBLACK
• SYML
• Leven Kali
• Alex Lahey
• Delacey
• Altin Gun
• Grateful Shred
• Amo Amo
• Boyfriend
• The Seshen
• Rainbow Girls
• Sandy's

I remember just walking down Times Square with the WarrenGate box, "White Christmas" by Dean Martin playing in the background as I shot at incoming Rikers. Or walking through the depths of the Subway Morgue, "So this is Christmas" by John Lennon playing softly as I blew up Cleaner gas tanks. I like to pretend my agent has earbuds on and is listening to Christmas music to keep his spirits up as he walks through the desolate carcass that was once New York City.