Headache in the upper back of head
It Had To Be Brazil
2018.01.02 20:10 ChesterCopperPot72 It Had To Be Brazil
We are back!!!! The sub you guys built and learned to love is back!!!!!!! The second most popular sub about Brazil in all of Reddit. Yes, Baby!!!!! We're back!!!!!
2010.02.27 21:17 E_lucas Missed jokes
Private in protest of the new API policy. Whoosh: Single word exclamation, accompanied by a gesture where the hand is swept palm down over the head from [front to back] with about three inches [clearance]. Indicates that the joke just told was too sophisticated for the listener and has gone "way over their head".
2009.03.05 16:33 wcalvert The Kindle Subreddit
An unofficial sub for everything related to Amazon Kindle.
2024.05.17 02:01 JOFAJOSE What steps are there to solve poor leadership from below
I apologize for grammar errors. I work as a maintenance technician at a plant and the heads of our department are shady to say the least, to start one of them deadheaded a pipe and told an operator to turn the machine on, the pipe clamp failed when all water pressure hit it and it flew off and hit one of my coworkers in the chest. They told him not to report it because they had an audit coming up and having no lost days was important to them. We all encouraged him to report it and he did…. After he did that they took away everyone’s overtime with no good explanation. Another instance is when no one in our department wanted to fill out a voluntary survey they got a coworker to do it by saying that if he didn’t they wouldn’t allow him to have any overtime. Yet another example is a coworker who genuinely needs to go on short term disability so his back can heal, they told him “if you’re gonna hurt you might as well get paid to hurt.” And discouraged him from taking disability. As well as lying to him and saying he was one point away from being fired. Now to my example…. When I applied I let them know I needed two weeks off for vacation and I wanted it to be paid, they agreed to that and I asked if it would put me in the negative and if it would be ok they said yes and after I started I made sure to double check they confirmed that yes I had the time for it. Well imagine my surprise when I looked at my paycheck this morning and I only got $100 I immediately went to HR who said that none of the things we had agreed to were possible, thankfully I had a text saying that I could have the pto, which forced them to give it to me (it did make me negative til September however) but then they went and wrote up my review and said that I had poor communication skills and wasn’t getting along with my coworkers.
I’m not sure what to do, I have a family so I can’t just up and quit and it’s a well paying job for someone my age (25)
submitted by JOFAJOSE to workplace_bullying [link] [comments]
I’m not sure what to do, I have a family so I can’t just up and quit and it’s a well paying job for someone my age (25)
2024.05.17 02:01 CazOnReddit A Speedrunner's Guide to Bruce Brown - And What Can Be Done on Draft Night (Part 2)
 | Welcome to part 2 of the pre-draft deadline Bruce Brown breakdown. For part 1, we went over a trio of trade partners in the Bulls, the Hawks and Jazz so if that interests you, give it a read. In part 2, and going forward, we'll be taking a look at a single team for the sake of what can be charitably described as me being "brief". submitted by CazOnReddit to torontoraptors [link] [comments] Now that we have finally learned which teams have jumped or dropped in the lottery, let's talk about a team that also officially lost a pick in this year's draft. Golden State Warriorshttps://preview.redd.it/pxlx2hbw8v0d1.png?width=1200&format=png&auto=webp&s=05ea876ddd04751d409dbc81c846eecfa30894dbMost likely player(s): Chris Paul, Andrew Wiggins, Moses Moody, Trayce Jackson-Davis Incoming salary: Varies depending on the combination of players coming back/sent out; 26.2 million incoming at minimum, 30 million at maximum. $10.2 million exception from the Siakam trade may be used depending on the structure of a deal Pick(s) available: 52nd, 2025\ or 2026 1st* Note: Assets listed above are not a proposed trade package, they are simply a list of players & picks that can be combined in a potential trade worth consideration. Who here likes multiple choice? Yeah i'm not listing all of their stats for the year, there's too many players for that this time around. Golden State is interesting as far as trade partners go. As they lost their 2024 1st round pick post-lottery to the Blazers, they have menial draft capital to include in a trade for this year and as far as salary relief goes, the potential loss of Klay Thompson and the declining of Chris Paul's option seem both very real and deserved given the Warriors were perhaps the most expensive 10 seed in NBA history, not to mention their respective play regressing. To put this into perspective, the Warriors luxury tax bill - for a team that needed to win 2 games to make the playoffs I might add - is estimated to cost Joe Lacob $176 million, more than the entire Raptors roster at $161.9 million post-trade deadline. Changes should be on the horizon no matter what direction they go in the offseason and with Lacob talking about wanting to avoid the luxury tax earlier this year, there's a fairly straight line to connect one dot (no tax) to the other (Klay walks or is signed & traded for a lesser return, Paul's team option declined & either he walks or signs a significantly cheaper deal). We'll ignore that Johnathan Kuminga has likely played himself into an expensive extension and how that could put them close to or over the line the year afterwards for a moment but the point stands: The Warriors don't technically need salary relief when doing nothing can accomplish that... ...but on the other hand, the Warriors still have Steph Curry and that's reason enough to ride out the remnants of the dynasty unless/until the most important/best player in franchise history decides to ask out. Plus, while they did miss on their highest pick since the dynasty formed by selecting James Wiseman over LaMelo Ball or Tyrese Haliburton (Admittedly, Haliburton would have been a stretch for 2 but the Warriors could have traded down), they have managed to land on a few of their lottery picks with the ever productive Johnathan Kuminga and the underutilized Moses Moody in 2021, not to mention they nabbed All-Rookie candidate Brandin Podziemski and the respectable Trayce Jackson-Davis in 2023 with relatively late picks in the 1st and 2nd round. While none of them scream All-Star upside aside from the Kum Bucket, it goes to show that Golden State has found hidden gems late in the draft to add depth to a top-heavy and typically expensive team that hasn't been afforded free agent signings or access to certain exceptions, let alone the ability to keep together the supporting cast that helped them win a championship in Gary Payton II (They got him back via a controversial 3-team trade involving Wiseman) and Raptors Legend™ Otto Porter Jr. With the Raptors prioritizing players over picks in their trade of O.G. Anunoby and them turning the worst of the 2024 picks received in the Siakam trade into two rotational players via Ochai and Olynyk, you can see where this is going: Golden State makes sense as a Bruce Brown destination if the Warriors want to kick the luxury tax down the road by deferring a particular player's extension in favor of a new rookie contract while still getting someone who is all but assured to contribute to a playoff rotation, and if the Raptors want to trade out of this draft while still getting a young player on the roster or potentially move in to a stronger draft class such as 2025 or 2026. Fittingly for the former option, there's one player that makes sense for Toronto in light of Trent's uncertainty as their starting/bench shooting guard as a pending unrestricted free agent, and the Raptors already traded out of this draft twice so it would not be surprising if they did it a third time. It'd be funny, but not a surprise. The Player(s)https://preview.redd.it/ee8vv1rd9v0d1.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=576dff2e70308c2379ed9586cc10285e8c9bc6a5Of the Warriors youngest players, Moses Moody stands out and not for the reason that someone has likely mentioned in the comments i.e. Scottie and Moody were teammates in high school. For the past three seasons, Moses has been the most consistently disrespected player by head coach Steve Kerr despite quiet improvements to his overall game, frequently benching him to close games in favor of the wildly inconsistent veteran Klay Thompson and in general limiting his minutes compared to the other young Warriors. This sentiment was perfectly encapsulated in that play-in loss, where Moses played a mere 15 minutes for the Dubs despite arguably being the best player amongst the supporting cast, if not the best player on the floor for Golden State; he scored 16 points on 5/8 shooting (2/4 from 3), grabbed 3 boards and had one dime without not a turnover to his name. In a game where Klay shot 0/10 and may very well have played his last game as a Warrior with a +/- of -12, Moody managed a respectable +/- of +3 in a blowout loss to the Kings. Both Moody and Kuminga have called out Kerr's questionable granting of playtime - Moody has a stretch this year where he was racking up DNPs - but while Johnathan was given more playtime and even started for a time due to Draymond's jackassery leading to multiple suspensions this season in conjunction with a notable leap in his offensive game, Moody's role on the team has been inconsistent and his playtime equally so. With him and Kuminga up for extensions this offseason, Golden State moving Moses to kick the can down the road by picking up another rookie who can contribute now, Moody's time in a Warriors jersey may be over. It also bears mention that Moody is the one young player on the Warriors roster whose name has most frequently come up in trade rumors or failed trades. This very season saw Golden State try to trade for Alex Caruso, a deal which is believed to have been centered around Moody but which fell through due to the Bulls wanting Kuminga instead. Moody is a good player. We'll get into the bad contract that he'd come with in a moment but it cannot be understated the level of frustration that comes from seeing a clearly capable player be sidelined due to favoritism of a past-their-prime veteran. He might not be as good of a shooter as Klay; he's a career 36% from behind the arc and though his volume remains low, on the occasions where he's shot 6 or more more threes, he's around 44% across the 14 games he's been given the greenlight to take that many shots. It's a limited sample size of an already limited sample despite having 3 seasons under his belt, but you can understand why he isn't feeling that he's been given much of any opportunity when his hands are this hot on increased volume. Of course, any player on the Warriors' outside shooting has to come with the obligatory asterisk that they are shooting the shots that they've got & thus the 3-point percentage they're shooting at due to Steph Curry's inescapable gravity. A team playing worse without their best player is so obvious a statement that should go without saying, and the sample size of Curry-less Moody games is once again limited but across 44 Curry-less games in his career, Moses Moody only saw a minor dip in 3-point percentage from his career 36% to 33.6% though again, this is on relatively low volume; his attempts have stayed around the same as his career average with 3 per game in those Curry-less games. The quality of competition is another factor that does need to taken in to consideration along with whomever else was absent but considering that the dip is relatively small and a sizeable amount of teams faced in said sample includes playoff seeds from the 2022/23 season, that's a surprisingly encouraging stat. If there's anything about his overall range that stands out in a negative light, it's that his overall catch and shoot numbers aren't anything to write home about at roughly 36% but I digress. Beyond his shooting upside, there's a lot to like about Moody. For intangibles, he's highly competitive. For fit as a potential starter, he's a 6'6 shooting guard with a lengthy 7'1 wingspan that's shown flashes of his defensive upside and consistently improved on that end of the floor. He's great at moving off-ball and while he's never going to rack up assists, he's willing to pass up a good shot to let a teammate take a better one. Jackson-Davis is also worth mentioning as a potential "young" player though one who is less likely to see the Dubs part ways with. The 24 year-old rookie was a productive member of the team's bench with limited playtime and considering he's making the equivalent of a minimum contract, there's little incentive to move him when he won't need to be extended for at least another season. While Moody for the 19th pick could be an option on its own, we're talking Bruce Brown-centered "salary dump" trades and thus there's two main candidates to consider since it's very hard to see Golden State moving Draymond Green even if a paradigm shift is on the horizon. Andrew Wiggins is hard to currently evaluate whether he's a truly awful contract or just temporarily undervalued. The Mavericks and Pacers were apparently interested in him at this year's deadline but whether that was serious interest or part of negotiations with the Hornets and Raptors respectively for PJ or Pascal to lower their asking prices is up for debate since Andrew stayed a Warrior after the deadline. What can be said is that after being a key contributor to the Warriors Final Dance-esque championship run, Wiggins has had a rough duo of seasons; his 2022/23 encore was more of the same for the regular season if he played, though the key word is "if". Owed to an injury in December and personal matters from February onwards, Wiggins only played 37 games for Golden State & while he was generally decent on both ends in the regular season, his return to the playoffs marked a notable shrinking of Wiggins. Going from a terrific 39.6% from 3 on 6 attempts to 29.7% on less than 5 per game and playing with far less intensity on defense, this version of Wiggins would carry on into the 2023/24 regular season where Andrew had arguably his worst season relative to expectations. He did pick things up in the later games of the season, but said second half has done little to repair his current reputation. Like I said, it's hard to really say if Wiggins contract is viewed as an albatross like former teammate Jordan Poole or the now-expiring Ben Simmons - Andrew is getting paid an AAV of $28 million for the next 3 years - and I don't care to speculate about what was going on in his personal life or if it's still affecting him. What I can say is that while his name does bear consideration, if the Warriors really are determined to run things back, they'll likely hold on to Wiggins and hope whatever personal issues have hindered him for the past two seasons are behind him. When healthy/locked in, he is one of the best wing defenders in the league and as mentioned before, his 3 ball has been terrific in his best seasons with Golden State. With that in mind, Chris Paul could be considered the option for the main salary ballast. At this stage of his career, "Point God" Paul cannot be asked to be a team's starting PG due to a combination of age and injuries but he's shown some effectiveness as a bench in Golden State and despite a poor reputation around the league, he's been a notable mentor to a slew of younger star players like Shai and Booker and has been noted as a culture setter in their respective organizations. He's absolutely not worth paying $30 million for that role - there's a reason why his contract isn't guaranteed whatsoever for the season - but for a season? More than likely 2/3 of a single season? One can stomach the price tag to make such a deal work, especially if Toronto somehow manages to flip his expiring contract at the deadline. If nothing else, having Paul on the last legs of his career as a Raptor (potentially passing Jason Kidd for 2nd on the all-time assist leaderboard in a Raptors jersey at that) would make for an interesting playmaking mentor to Quickley and Scottie. While a straight up swap that includes Jackson-Davis or Moody works financially, owed to the trade exception that the Raptors generated from the Siakam trade which in of itself utilized an exception made via the Anunoby trade, and a 1:1 trade for Brown also works (Moody and Paul on the move would save the Warriors around $7 million in payroll before factoring in the tax), trading Paul for depth in Brown and, say, Chris Boucher - who it should be noted is also expiring and was originally signed as an undrafted free agent by the Warriors - doesn't offer the Dubs long-term salary relief in the same way that moving off of Wiggins would, at least not for the upcoming season. A deal like this would be an expiring for expiring deal where they would shed a minor amount of salary after going for a "final run" with this current core before having the same issue of needing to re-sign some of their supporting pieces. Not having to worry about paying Moody might help the season after but those pending UFAs and Kuminga would need to get paid or be lost for nothing, meaning they would still be deep in the second apron for the 2024/25 season, barring Klay being re-signed to a very team-friendly deal. It would be a move that screams "delaying the inevitably" but again: They have Steph Curry and considering how bad the Warriors were in the post-Barry, pre-Steph years, it's understandable they'd want to cling on to the current dynasty. As for draft capital, Golden State doesn't have the largest pool of assets but they do have some to spare. They have a very late 2nd in this draft - 52nd overall - and now that their 2024 pick has conveyed to the Blazers, they do have the option to trade a future 1st in 2025 or 2026. Admittedly, it's hard to see the Warriors parting with their remaining draft capital when they just gave up a late lottery pick to the Blazers and they owe the Wizards a 2030 1st, not without a notable protection on said pick as their team continues to age. For reference, that Washington pick they gave up is Top 20-protected. A draft pick, young player(s), a vet (albeit one whose significantly overpaid), like I said, Golden State has a fair amount of options in regards to what combination they can put together for a trade on or after draft night without the Raptors trading down in the 2024 draft but I do want to state that - speaking purely as an outsider to Golden State - the Warriors really should not be doing this. They aren't a Brown + Boucher swap away from being a contender even if Steph is still a consensus Top 3-5 player going in to next season. But they also can't trade an aging Steph Curry to begin rebuild without him being the one to ask out and their overall asset pool is not enough to land a star outside of Kuminga (who, based on the Caruso trade talks, is not available), not to mention the Jordan Poole salary dump saw them ship out a 2030 1st that restricts their draft capital just as much as the new CBA rules do for second apron teams regarding trading out distant draft capital. Doing some kind of move like this may be a more dignified end to the dynasty but it is the end of their status as a championship-caliber team even if Wiggins bounces back and Klay finally accepts a lesser role on offense (If he returns). Maybe they make it as a Top 6 seed in the playoffs given how close the 6th thru 10th seed were in the West with a touch more depth. Maybe they win a playoff series, but they're not making the Conference Finals, let alone another Finals so long as the Nuggets, Thunder and Timberwolves are going to be in contention, and this is without considering teams like the Spurs or Rockets being on the rise; the Rockets in particular made a noteworthy run for the final play-in spot that the Warriors ultimately were locked in to. The current Warriors are in a spot similar to the post-championship Mavericks where they're stuck in a lower seed as their aging superstar stays around for the twilight years of their career, along with all the bumps they'll experience along the road. They'll win enough games to qualify for the playoffs or at the very least the play-in now that the 9th/10th seed make it to the postseason, but they're wholly lacking in options to internally improve or make moves to truly return to contender status. The big difference is the Mavericks failures were self-inflicted i.e. letting core members of that run like Tyson Chandler walk for nothing while trying - but failing (I know they technically signed DeAndre Jordan but that ordeal ended with him returning to L.A., ergo a failure for Dallas) - to sign free agents whereas the Warriors are simply an old team that's only getting older, which is what makes their only shot to their former status being the youthful Kuminga making a massive leap in a short amount of time a touch ironic. ConclusionHere's our TL;DR so far:
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2024.05.17 02:01 ClimbingTreeOfLife A little astral projection guide I put together.
Astral projection tutorial: A-lot of terminology I use will make sense as you go along.
I have read several books on astral projection and skimmed through dozens for actual techniques. And scoured reddit and user reports. This is going to be somewhat a culmination of the data i have found to be helpful myself and recommend.
So one large problem with astral projection is you usually (except for a specific skillset) have to be asleep for it to happen. Or at least teetering very close to sleep. The way this is usually achieved is by people trying to learn meditation by getting in a comfortable position when they have free time and the energy to try this.
Then they try to focus on breathing or doing energy body stimulation (will be described how to later) basically the ability to create the vibrations. Till after 30 minutes or a hour if they are lucky they start to feel the vibrations and use a exit technique. (Will be covered) Then the exit technique can work, and then it goes to tips on what to do in the astral. But i probably won’t cover that in this text.
Yup. That’s it. Fall asleep, use a exit technique, walk or fly around the area you come out at. Sounds pretty simple when stripped to its barest parts… the problem is there are pitfalls where people get stuck not being able to to something. Weather they find it hard to fall asleep and can’t start the exit technique, or they get asleep and notice it and try to project and either nothing happens, or they get to excited or scared depending on the exit symptoms
(TIP 1) if you get to the exit phase you can experience very trippy psychedelic experiences. You can hallucinate smells, sounds, words, visions, shocks, vibrations, a heartbeat that goes incredibly fast, (not your actual heart) some mixture of all these… it can be a intense entry fee. And if you’re not mentally prepared by imagining these things happening you could get scared and think you are dying. Also some psychedelic experiences can prepare you for it.
(semi common for people who haven’t done psychedelics or had a near death experience and know what actually dying feels like) my first experience trying to project, I felt shocks in my face, with the shocks i saw strobe light flashes, i felt vibrations all over, i heard buzzing, my heart felt like it started to gradually increase to the speed of almost vibration… it was pretty intense, and as i felt myself starting to float up I thought for sure i was dying… so I stopped the exit.
After this, i built a block in my head with something in me saying “not ready for this experience yet” and alot of people believe this is the gatekeeper of the astral realm just making sure you are prepared for the wild ride that could happen. So hopefully you will imagine these experiences and prepare yourself mentally for them and not be scared like i was. And build a mindset of saying “heck yeah throw whatever psychedelic experience you want at me I’m ready and not afraid.”
Sorry to make a long part of this about the exit symptoms, and I in no way want to scare anyone away from this experience. But i do want you to be mentally prepared for possible obstacles and know that there is nothing to fear. Nobody is on record dying from astral projection from anything i have read was aware of. So that’s one pitfall covered.
The next will be the problem of feeling like you projected but you fall asleep or “nothing happens” first off,
(TIP 2) keep your first 3 or so trips really short. I follow and believe Robert Bruce’s advice here. Once you get out, scream I projected!! And if that doesn’t wake you up itself try finding your body and jumping in, or closing and opening your eyes, or falling backwards and closing your eyes then moving to get up, one of these should work. If not i don’t really know what else to say besides enjoy the trip and try to keep it as memorable as possible by dancing or something. So “trip short” covers staying too long and falling asleep, and even if you do fall asleep, here comes the next tip,
(TIP 3) learn to remember your dreams. I cannot stress enough the importance of this. If you don’t remember your dreams, you are unlikely to remember your projections. It’s like tying a worm to a fishing line and throwing it out there with no hook. Something might happen, but you can’t bring it back. The way to start remembering your dreams is to first start having more vivid dreams, which can easily be achieved by “oneirogens” drugs or herbs that can improve dreams. My favorite for this is the non wake psychoactive (won’t effect you while awake) herb Silene Capensis.
I love this stuff. It is a root that you can grind in a coffee grinder and measure out .5g or one gram of the herb by weight, and put in a tea bag or filter and put in boiling hot water and steep till warm or luke warm and then drink before bed. This specific herb usually has to be taken for several days before effects start to kick in. Then you should be having more memories and more vivid dreams. Which hugely effect astral projection probability by itself not including the tip after the next.
(TIP 4) is DREAM JOURNAL! get a app or notepad you already have or whatever and write any memory you can when you’re first starting out. As much detail as possible. The easiest way to trigger a memory is to think of common themes in your life or dreams if you remember some of them already is to think of the things you commonly dream about. Once you hit this groove on the record that is your memory there should be a notch there of the most recent memory related to that thing. Snow, your siblings, your spouse, your dog, your job, whatever you dream about. Then once you think of the thing that happened in your last few dreams it can trigger a memory of that dream. Then that can open up to more parts of that dream being remembered. As soon as you pull a piece to memory write it down and keep thinking. Start the dream journal while you’re waiting on your herb to come in.
(TIP 5) Once you have your dream journal for the day, in the middle of the day set a alarm to look at the dream journal and remember the dream or dreams you had. Doing this while more awake will build the gap between asleep memories and awake memories. Keep doing this. Once you remember more clearly only write a few key details at first, (saw friend, saw dog) then after the middle of the day alarm you set use these tips to try to remember the rest of what happened in the dream. Keep doing this consistently with the Silene Capensis (African dream root) I get mine from etsy. And you should be having vivid dreams that you remember in a couple weeks. Then you may start remembering two or three dreams when you wake up. Or more depending on how long you can sleep. That is the memory part.
(TIP 6) learn to lucid dream, then enter a projection from that lucid dream. So doing this method skips right over having to meditate to the point of projecting. Once you learn to lucid dream, all you have to do is fall backwards while closing your eyes in the dream. Then once you start to hit the ground and go black you should feel yourself float down some. This part can very on exactly what happened. Sometimes there’s no gravity and you have to try again or find something heavy to fall with, sometimes your whole perception view changes to third person like a video game and it’s harder to navigate, etc… but anyway, once you are in this point of asleep and fell backwards into darkness, you are in the mind awake body asleep stage in your body. This point comes with the problem of being really easy to be woken up, which is why you need to quickly start building vibrations, or do the rope technique. The ability to build the trigger of knowing the right thing to do goes into tip 7.
(TIP 7) how to start a lucid dream from a dream, learn to fall in the dream on command, learn to do projection techniques once you fall into the darkness, learn to do what you want to pre plan your projection to be, (usually for the first 4 times or at least 2 just short trips of getting out, then shouting I DID IT! then hopping back in. Which is “🌈imagination🌈” you take time throughout your day to do “reality checks” this is a lucid dreaming term that means to test if you are in awake or dream state. So every time you walk through a door is a good trigger, or set a bunch of alarms, or put your phone/smartwatch screen to say “am i dreaming?” Then you test if you are in a dream. Some people cover their nose and try to blow through. If they can then they’re in a dream. Or look at a watch and if it says anything but the right thing you’re in a dream. So you see your reminder or walk into a new room then test if you’re in a dream.
Then you “imagine” if the answer was yes. Then you “imagine” (please don’t fall backwards in reality….) falling backwards and closing your eyes. Once you get this pattern memorized your natural reaction once you realize you’re in a dream you will be to fall backwards. You build a muscle memory. Like when your arm knows what to do to shoot a basketball from a specific place. That place is when you’re in a dream. Then to not spend too much time daydreaming every time you walk through a door you can save the rest of the imagination for when you have a little more free time.
Then you imagine ““I’m in a dream” falling backwards, closing eyes, then imagine the first exit technique you want to use. I would recommend energy body stimulation. Then once you’re vibrating imagine floating up. Imagine bubbles coming from underneath you and lifting you away, or if that doesn’t work the rope technique. Then imagine the astral symptom’s happening. Take a second to imagine each possible symptom. Vibrating, flashing lights, “heart” pounding, etc… then imagine getting out of your body, then imagine shouting “eureka” or I projected!” Or whatever. Then open your eyes and go about the rest of your day till the next time.
If it helps right out your roadmap then rehearse each one in order. (“In dream”, fall back and close eyes, projection technique(‘s), out of body, scream, eyes open.) do this several times a day every day till you don’t have to look at the note or even think of the next thing to do, just “see” it happening in your imagination. See is used lightly for however you experience imaginations.
(TIP 8) Also i have to mention “flow state” and if you have a free day just spend the day looking at nature or whatever, and be 100% in the moment. Don’t think of something else, just perceive every crackle every bird chirp, every smell, (maybe carry something good smelling in a bag) taste something like a healthy apple washed, or something low calorie or your meal, combine as many senses as possible and be fully aware of all of these senses. Be fully aware of the moment and think nothing else but “am i in a dream” and look around and think about if you are.
Be present in the moment as a all day, or long session of a continuous reality check. Your probable best chance storm of the right things pulled together is, do whatever to have vivid dreams, set a alarm for 6 hours, (if you sleep less than 7.5 hours, than do whatever is 1.5 hours before you are supposed to wake up. Then wake up and do the “flow state” of constantly thinking about if you are awake, and chew on something that won’t leave a strong taste in your mouth but that you can clearly taste, then smell something, like a herb bag. Something calming. And look at something pretty, and feel something with your hands, focus on as many of these as you can while being in the state of (“am I dreaming?”)
then after 10 minutes of doing that, (write your dreams down as soon as you wake then do the “flow state” for 10 minutes) go back to sleep, and hope for a lucid dream. Then the rest should take over.
(TIP 9) this is the energy body stimulation method. hold your hand palm up, then start to brush over your hand with the tips of your fingers. Start with hard ish scratches so you can really feel it and swipe back and forth about a second each swipe, then slowly start to scratch more gently, try to notice and be aware as much as possible the feeling of your fingertips scratching your palm. If your palm is too ticklish, use the back of your hand, if that is, use from elbow to wrist. At a steady pace back and forth, really try to feel in the hand you’re not moving the feeling of it being scratched, try to follow along im your mind and kind of predict the feeling of it moving forward, then keep slowly lowering pressure till you are completely off your skin, then you are trying to continue to imagine this sweeping sensation on your non moving hand as the scratching hand hovers above it. Feel the sensation move up and down. This is energy body stimulation. And if you can do it well enough you should be able to trigger vibrations quite easily.
Work on making this sensation go all over your whole body. If you have to use your hand or a brush or something to get the feelings going till you can imagine it in that area. Sweep back and forth in your mind in your foot a little bit, then your shin then your knee to hip, then your hip to the other legs knee, down to the toes, then back to the hip, around the stomach, etc. throughout the whole body. Eventually it should start vibrating and you can build this till you start to float. Don’t stop till you float away. One method is to focus on a tiny area like a big toe, and do it till you feel vibrating.
Another way of creating the vibrations if you have a hard time with imagination, is to try to move a part of your body in the smallest possible distance known. You try to lift your pinky finger but without applying enough force to actually twitch a muscle. This sends focus to that part of your body and energy in turn. Then move the feeling from “lifting” your pinky to lifting your ring finger, again not actually using any muscles, but making a mental effort to move the muscle as small of an effort as possible. Just enough to feel the area, but not enough to move the muscles. This will stimulate the area and after enough practice and trance state cause the vibrations.
(TIP 10) THIS IS NOT A RECOMMENDATION…. But for informational purposes… when i use delta 9 thc edibles (merijuana active chemical) and try energy body stimulation it is almost instant and very easy. I do not recommend at all being high while you try to project because it could take from the real feeling of it and make it seem fake. But for myself I believe it’s a good practice for energy work just to build the vibrations and clear energies. I’d recommend during energy work learning about the chakras and stimulating each energy ball up your spine from your base to your crown. For a better explanation of this read Robert Bruce: “Astral dynamics” or “energy work” astral dynamics will also cover the rope method.
(TIP 11) “the rope method.” (TIP) Basically in my explanation you rub your hand on something resembling a rope. Preferably a rope, lol. and you start pulling gently with your hands so loose that the rope slides through your hands, keep doing this for a while at a steady speed. Then after a while let go of the rope and move your hands like they are going down the rope, this is your baseline for how to imagine this sensation, don’t move a muscle a inch, and imagine doing this same technique, feeling the rope sliding through your hands, till you actually start to feel your arms moving, once your astral arms are moving and you’re sure it’s your astral arms and you didn’t start moving your real arms, grab something near you. ( it will probably still be dark) and pull yourself away from your body gently. Then try to fly or keep pulling till you start to gain vision. And that is the rope technique basically.
(TIP 12) There is another method that is the ear ringing (often called tinnitus) method. Where you get it really quiet enough to not hear anything at all. Gun soundproofing muffs with cotton or earbuds on the inside so you hear absolutely nothing. Then you can start to hear a ringing noise. If you hear it just keep focusing on it till it gets so loud you start to experience projecting symptoms. I don’t recommend ear damage at all! But if you go to a loud concert then go home and meditate you should be able to hear it then. The temporary loss of hearing creates the tinnitus and you can use it.
(TIP 13) not sure if this works as i read it on reddit and haven’t tried it yet but it sounds reasonable. Start saying words that are unrelated to each other. So instead of couch then chair, or house then mansion, something like frog then chair then guitar. Apparently this can keep you conscious enough while also going deep enough into trance.
Well that’s about it for my hopefully helpful tips. Happy travels!
submitted by ClimbingTreeOfLife to SpiritualDevelopments [link] [comments]
I have read several books on astral projection and skimmed through dozens for actual techniques. And scoured reddit and user reports. This is going to be somewhat a culmination of the data i have found to be helpful myself and recommend.
So one large problem with astral projection is you usually (except for a specific skillset) have to be asleep for it to happen. Or at least teetering very close to sleep. The way this is usually achieved is by people trying to learn meditation by getting in a comfortable position when they have free time and the energy to try this.
Then they try to focus on breathing or doing energy body stimulation (will be described how to later) basically the ability to create the vibrations. Till after 30 minutes or a hour if they are lucky they start to feel the vibrations and use a exit technique. (Will be covered) Then the exit technique can work, and then it goes to tips on what to do in the astral. But i probably won’t cover that in this text.
Yup. That’s it. Fall asleep, use a exit technique, walk or fly around the area you come out at. Sounds pretty simple when stripped to its barest parts… the problem is there are pitfalls where people get stuck not being able to to something. Weather they find it hard to fall asleep and can’t start the exit technique, or they get asleep and notice it and try to project and either nothing happens, or they get to excited or scared depending on the exit symptoms
(TIP 1) if you get to the exit phase you can experience very trippy psychedelic experiences. You can hallucinate smells, sounds, words, visions, shocks, vibrations, a heartbeat that goes incredibly fast, (not your actual heart) some mixture of all these… it can be a intense entry fee. And if you’re not mentally prepared by imagining these things happening you could get scared and think you are dying. Also some psychedelic experiences can prepare you for it.
(semi common for people who haven’t done psychedelics or had a near death experience and know what actually dying feels like) my first experience trying to project, I felt shocks in my face, with the shocks i saw strobe light flashes, i felt vibrations all over, i heard buzzing, my heart felt like it started to gradually increase to the speed of almost vibration… it was pretty intense, and as i felt myself starting to float up I thought for sure i was dying… so I stopped the exit.
After this, i built a block in my head with something in me saying “not ready for this experience yet” and alot of people believe this is the gatekeeper of the astral realm just making sure you are prepared for the wild ride that could happen. So hopefully you will imagine these experiences and prepare yourself mentally for them and not be scared like i was. And build a mindset of saying “heck yeah throw whatever psychedelic experience you want at me I’m ready and not afraid.”
Sorry to make a long part of this about the exit symptoms, and I in no way want to scare anyone away from this experience. But i do want you to be mentally prepared for possible obstacles and know that there is nothing to fear. Nobody is on record dying from astral projection from anything i have read was aware of. So that’s one pitfall covered.
The next will be the problem of feeling like you projected but you fall asleep or “nothing happens” first off,
(TIP 2) keep your first 3 or so trips really short. I follow and believe Robert Bruce’s advice here. Once you get out, scream I projected!! And if that doesn’t wake you up itself try finding your body and jumping in, or closing and opening your eyes, or falling backwards and closing your eyes then moving to get up, one of these should work. If not i don’t really know what else to say besides enjoy the trip and try to keep it as memorable as possible by dancing or something. So “trip short” covers staying too long and falling asleep, and even if you do fall asleep, here comes the next tip,
(TIP 3) learn to remember your dreams. I cannot stress enough the importance of this. If you don’t remember your dreams, you are unlikely to remember your projections. It’s like tying a worm to a fishing line and throwing it out there with no hook. Something might happen, but you can’t bring it back. The way to start remembering your dreams is to first start having more vivid dreams, which can easily be achieved by “oneirogens” drugs or herbs that can improve dreams. My favorite for this is the non wake psychoactive (won’t effect you while awake) herb Silene Capensis.
I love this stuff. It is a root that you can grind in a coffee grinder and measure out .5g or one gram of the herb by weight, and put in a tea bag or filter and put in boiling hot water and steep till warm or luke warm and then drink before bed. This specific herb usually has to be taken for several days before effects start to kick in. Then you should be having more memories and more vivid dreams. Which hugely effect astral projection probability by itself not including the tip after the next.
(TIP 4) is DREAM JOURNAL! get a app or notepad you already have or whatever and write any memory you can when you’re first starting out. As much detail as possible. The easiest way to trigger a memory is to think of common themes in your life or dreams if you remember some of them already is to think of the things you commonly dream about. Once you hit this groove on the record that is your memory there should be a notch there of the most recent memory related to that thing. Snow, your siblings, your spouse, your dog, your job, whatever you dream about. Then once you think of the thing that happened in your last few dreams it can trigger a memory of that dream. Then that can open up to more parts of that dream being remembered. As soon as you pull a piece to memory write it down and keep thinking. Start the dream journal while you’re waiting on your herb to come in.
(TIP 5) Once you have your dream journal for the day, in the middle of the day set a alarm to look at the dream journal and remember the dream or dreams you had. Doing this while more awake will build the gap between asleep memories and awake memories. Keep doing this. Once you remember more clearly only write a few key details at first, (saw friend, saw dog) then after the middle of the day alarm you set use these tips to try to remember the rest of what happened in the dream. Keep doing this consistently with the Silene Capensis (African dream root) I get mine from etsy. And you should be having vivid dreams that you remember in a couple weeks. Then you may start remembering two or three dreams when you wake up. Or more depending on how long you can sleep. That is the memory part.
(TIP 6) learn to lucid dream, then enter a projection from that lucid dream. So doing this method skips right over having to meditate to the point of projecting. Once you learn to lucid dream, all you have to do is fall backwards while closing your eyes in the dream. Then once you start to hit the ground and go black you should feel yourself float down some. This part can very on exactly what happened. Sometimes there’s no gravity and you have to try again or find something heavy to fall with, sometimes your whole perception view changes to third person like a video game and it’s harder to navigate, etc… but anyway, once you are in this point of asleep and fell backwards into darkness, you are in the mind awake body asleep stage in your body. This point comes with the problem of being really easy to be woken up, which is why you need to quickly start building vibrations, or do the rope technique. The ability to build the trigger of knowing the right thing to do goes into tip 7.
(TIP 7) how to start a lucid dream from a dream, learn to fall in the dream on command, learn to do projection techniques once you fall into the darkness, learn to do what you want to pre plan your projection to be, (usually for the first 4 times or at least 2 just short trips of getting out, then shouting I DID IT! then hopping back in. Which is “🌈imagination🌈” you take time throughout your day to do “reality checks” this is a lucid dreaming term that means to test if you are in awake or dream state. So every time you walk through a door is a good trigger, or set a bunch of alarms, or put your phone/smartwatch screen to say “am i dreaming?” Then you test if you are in a dream. Some people cover their nose and try to blow through. If they can then they’re in a dream. Or look at a watch and if it says anything but the right thing you’re in a dream. So you see your reminder or walk into a new room then test if you’re in a dream.
Then you “imagine” if the answer was yes. Then you “imagine” (please don’t fall backwards in reality….) falling backwards and closing your eyes. Once you get this pattern memorized your natural reaction once you realize you’re in a dream you will be to fall backwards. You build a muscle memory. Like when your arm knows what to do to shoot a basketball from a specific place. That place is when you’re in a dream. Then to not spend too much time daydreaming every time you walk through a door you can save the rest of the imagination for when you have a little more free time.
Then you imagine ““I’m in a dream” falling backwards, closing eyes, then imagine the first exit technique you want to use. I would recommend energy body stimulation. Then once you’re vibrating imagine floating up. Imagine bubbles coming from underneath you and lifting you away, or if that doesn’t work the rope technique. Then imagine the astral symptom’s happening. Take a second to imagine each possible symptom. Vibrating, flashing lights, “heart” pounding, etc… then imagine getting out of your body, then imagine shouting “eureka” or I projected!” Or whatever. Then open your eyes and go about the rest of your day till the next time.
If it helps right out your roadmap then rehearse each one in order. (“In dream”, fall back and close eyes, projection technique(‘s), out of body, scream, eyes open.) do this several times a day every day till you don’t have to look at the note or even think of the next thing to do, just “see” it happening in your imagination. See is used lightly for however you experience imaginations.
(TIP 8) Also i have to mention “flow state” and if you have a free day just spend the day looking at nature or whatever, and be 100% in the moment. Don’t think of something else, just perceive every crackle every bird chirp, every smell, (maybe carry something good smelling in a bag) taste something like a healthy apple washed, or something low calorie or your meal, combine as many senses as possible and be fully aware of all of these senses. Be fully aware of the moment and think nothing else but “am i in a dream” and look around and think about if you are.
Be present in the moment as a all day, or long session of a continuous reality check. Your probable best chance storm of the right things pulled together is, do whatever to have vivid dreams, set a alarm for 6 hours, (if you sleep less than 7.5 hours, than do whatever is 1.5 hours before you are supposed to wake up. Then wake up and do the “flow state” of constantly thinking about if you are awake, and chew on something that won’t leave a strong taste in your mouth but that you can clearly taste, then smell something, like a herb bag. Something calming. And look at something pretty, and feel something with your hands, focus on as many of these as you can while being in the state of (“am I dreaming?”)
then after 10 minutes of doing that, (write your dreams down as soon as you wake then do the “flow state” for 10 minutes) go back to sleep, and hope for a lucid dream. Then the rest should take over.
(TIP 9) this is the energy body stimulation method. hold your hand palm up, then start to brush over your hand with the tips of your fingers. Start with hard ish scratches so you can really feel it and swipe back and forth about a second each swipe, then slowly start to scratch more gently, try to notice and be aware as much as possible the feeling of your fingertips scratching your palm. If your palm is too ticklish, use the back of your hand, if that is, use from elbow to wrist. At a steady pace back and forth, really try to feel in the hand you’re not moving the feeling of it being scratched, try to follow along im your mind and kind of predict the feeling of it moving forward, then keep slowly lowering pressure till you are completely off your skin, then you are trying to continue to imagine this sweeping sensation on your non moving hand as the scratching hand hovers above it. Feel the sensation move up and down. This is energy body stimulation. And if you can do it well enough you should be able to trigger vibrations quite easily.
Work on making this sensation go all over your whole body. If you have to use your hand or a brush or something to get the feelings going till you can imagine it in that area. Sweep back and forth in your mind in your foot a little bit, then your shin then your knee to hip, then your hip to the other legs knee, down to the toes, then back to the hip, around the stomach, etc. throughout the whole body. Eventually it should start vibrating and you can build this till you start to float. Don’t stop till you float away. One method is to focus on a tiny area like a big toe, and do it till you feel vibrating.
Another way of creating the vibrations if you have a hard time with imagination, is to try to move a part of your body in the smallest possible distance known. You try to lift your pinky finger but without applying enough force to actually twitch a muscle. This sends focus to that part of your body and energy in turn. Then move the feeling from “lifting” your pinky to lifting your ring finger, again not actually using any muscles, but making a mental effort to move the muscle as small of an effort as possible. Just enough to feel the area, but not enough to move the muscles. This will stimulate the area and after enough practice and trance state cause the vibrations.
(TIP 10) THIS IS NOT A RECOMMENDATION…. But for informational purposes… when i use delta 9 thc edibles (merijuana active chemical) and try energy body stimulation it is almost instant and very easy. I do not recommend at all being high while you try to project because it could take from the real feeling of it and make it seem fake. But for myself I believe it’s a good practice for energy work just to build the vibrations and clear energies. I’d recommend during energy work learning about the chakras and stimulating each energy ball up your spine from your base to your crown. For a better explanation of this read Robert Bruce: “Astral dynamics” or “energy work” astral dynamics will also cover the rope method.
(TIP 11) “the rope method.” (TIP) Basically in my explanation you rub your hand on something resembling a rope. Preferably a rope, lol. and you start pulling gently with your hands so loose that the rope slides through your hands, keep doing this for a while at a steady speed. Then after a while let go of the rope and move your hands like they are going down the rope, this is your baseline for how to imagine this sensation, don’t move a muscle a inch, and imagine doing this same technique, feeling the rope sliding through your hands, till you actually start to feel your arms moving, once your astral arms are moving and you’re sure it’s your astral arms and you didn’t start moving your real arms, grab something near you. ( it will probably still be dark) and pull yourself away from your body gently. Then try to fly or keep pulling till you start to gain vision. And that is the rope technique basically.
(TIP 12) There is another method that is the ear ringing (often called tinnitus) method. Where you get it really quiet enough to not hear anything at all. Gun soundproofing muffs with cotton or earbuds on the inside so you hear absolutely nothing. Then you can start to hear a ringing noise. If you hear it just keep focusing on it till it gets so loud you start to experience projecting symptoms. I don’t recommend ear damage at all! But if you go to a loud concert then go home and meditate you should be able to hear it then. The temporary loss of hearing creates the tinnitus and you can use it.
(TIP 13) not sure if this works as i read it on reddit and haven’t tried it yet but it sounds reasonable. Start saying words that are unrelated to each other. So instead of couch then chair, or house then mansion, something like frog then chair then guitar. Apparently this can keep you conscious enough while also going deep enough into trance.
Well that’s about it for my hopefully helpful tips. Happy travels!
2024.05.17 02:00 simonandliam Mild dizziness and eye sensitivity
Hi there! For the 3 months or so I have been experiencing slight dizziness and eye sensitivity as well as headaches. I have severe health anxiety which is not helping at all lol. The best way to describe this “dizziness” is feeling like I’m almost in like a dream state and not all the way there. I have reoccurring mild headaches and pain behind my eyes as well. Sometimes when I stand up I also get a rush of lightheadedness. I went to my doctor and got a physical and my blood work, cardiovascular health etc, all came back normal.
I had an event at work go down where I was put on a performance plan in January (sales) and went into severe distress the next month or two worried about my job. This led to the dizziness getting worse and I’ve spent >2k in medical bills between urgent care, pcp, psychologist and psychiatrist. I’m doing fine now at work, but am still feeling some symptoms. I want to go to a neurologist but it’s quite expensive even with insurance. Has anyone dealt with this before? If so, what do you recommend? I’ve dealt with severe anxiety and traumatic circumstances my entire life so I don’t believe this is just “anxiety”
submitted by simonandliam to Dizziness [link] [comments]
I had an event at work go down where I was put on a performance plan in January (sales) and went into severe distress the next month or two worried about my job. This led to the dizziness getting worse and I’ve spent >2k in medical bills between urgent care, pcp, psychologist and psychiatrist. I’m doing fine now at work, but am still feeling some symptoms. I want to go to a neurologist but it’s quite expensive even with insurance. Has anyone dealt with this before? If so, what do you recommend? I’ve dealt with severe anxiety and traumatic circumstances my entire life so I don’t believe this is just “anxiety”
2024.05.17 01:59 grebmil DL1553 JFK-ATL Go Around
 | Anyone on that flight this evening? I’m sitting in ATL T Sky Club and just happened to be watching this aircraft on final and then saw 2 planes taking off from the south side of atl. Suspect one of them was taking off from the same runway. I’ve never seen a commercial aircraft pivot (for lack of another word) and head back up so quickly- at least not from this vantage point. Curious if there was an announcement with explanation? submitted by grebmil to delta [link] [comments] |
2024.05.17 01:59 yeet_acct_obvs Advice needed. AITAH or is he?
Quick TLDR: adult dtr accuses husband (her stepdad since age 1.5) of CSA for a 5 year period beginning at age 4/5. Him and I married for over 20 years and have 2 teenaged kids (m&f) together. I kicked him out immediately upon her disclosure. Encouraged her to go to police, which we did, provided statements. I believed her at first, then became open to the possibility it may not be true. My gut feelings began to surface as the shock and trauma dulled a bit. Other men had access to her more than 50% of the time until about age 13, due to some interesting family dynamics on her bio paternal side - her grandparents. That grandpa was not blood, but was her bio dad’s stepdad. He was also only 37 when my dtr was born. He assaulted me when she was 3, it was sexual in nature, but not what most would think of when SA is mentioned. This put him in my mind after the initial shock had worn off. All of this aside, my dtr is quite mentally unwell and shows sociopathic traits (possibly bpd as well?) so while most people would never lie about this, I was beginning to wonder. She has NO memory of any actual abuse - just odd scenarios involving my husband. So while having zero memories of it, she also says she is positive he raped her. She has since told police that she doesn’t wish to pursue this any further right now, but absolutely WILL be reopening in the future. There are more details that make me scratch my head, but they don’t really matter because in reality, I’LL NEVER KNOW. The other two kids (17m & 14f) don’t believe it happened and are fine with their dad, and in fact are living with him. Yes, MCFD (we’re in Canada) has done their assessment and deemed him not to be a risk, after interviewing the 2 kids still living at home). I need help. My gut tells me it wasn’t him - very possibly something happened to her, but not by the man that I know. That being said, I cannot shake the “what if”. I can’t. Yes I’m in therapy, trying to work through this. I’m not living in the home. I don’t know if I can go back to being married to him. We’ve known each other 27 years, slept next to each other for over 2 decades. What am I looking for with him? I’ve searched all his devices, emails, etc. Squeaky clean. He’s pretty vanilla. If he’d done this to a little girl for 5 years, would he have just stopped? I have a hard time believing that if that was what got you off, that you’d just walk away from it? Surely there has to be more kids? No one can believe it. Not one person. But then there is the “what if” haunting me. Am I missing something? A sign? Think I know someone but they actually are a monster? I need to know if I’ve missed red flags.
submitted by yeet_acct_obvs to AITAH [link] [comments]
2024.05.17 01:58 DefiantRelative8580 Family MDs familiar with thymic disease?
29f Ontario Canada No history but feeling unwell for about a year now) we don’t have much primary care in Canada)
I finally got a family doctor after being on a provincial waiting list for over 8 years. I saw him for the first time and complained of shortness of breath and chest pressure, a lump on my collar bone, and generalized itchiness without a rash. Have also been fatigued and low appetite. Been going on for about 1 year. Was sent for a CT chest (wait time was 3 months) and it came back saying I need a mediastinal mri to “characterize thymic hyperplasia versus thymoma versus lymphoma”. It said there was a discreet mass. Also found a small 3 mm upper lobe nodule which required repeat ct scan in 6 months. I know this because I read the results myself. My drs office nurse or receptionist called me to deliver the results and plan for more scans. They called it an incidental finding and never mentioned thymoma or lymphoma, only told me it’s likely absolutely nothing and will require likely no follow up beyond the mri.
I had the mri done in only a few weeks (wait time here is several months to a year typically) and now am awaiting my results.
Is this the normal process for a family practice? I’m surprised my own doctor didn’t call me or give opportunity to ask questions. Even if it is just hyperplasia does that not indicate possible autoimmune issues that should be looked into as i actually don’t feel well? Do family doctors just not have much familiarity with this? What would you recommend?
submitted by DefiantRelative8580 to AskDocs [link] [comments]
I finally got a family doctor after being on a provincial waiting list for over 8 years. I saw him for the first time and complained of shortness of breath and chest pressure, a lump on my collar bone, and generalized itchiness without a rash. Have also been fatigued and low appetite. Been going on for about 1 year. Was sent for a CT chest (wait time was 3 months) and it came back saying I need a mediastinal mri to “characterize thymic hyperplasia versus thymoma versus lymphoma”. It said there was a discreet mass. Also found a small 3 mm upper lobe nodule which required repeat ct scan in 6 months. I know this because I read the results myself. My drs office nurse or receptionist called me to deliver the results and plan for more scans. They called it an incidental finding and never mentioned thymoma or lymphoma, only told me it’s likely absolutely nothing and will require likely no follow up beyond the mri.
I had the mri done in only a few weeks (wait time here is several months to a year typically) and now am awaiting my results.
Is this the normal process for a family practice? I’m surprised my own doctor didn’t call me or give opportunity to ask questions. Even if it is just hyperplasia does that not indicate possible autoimmune issues that should be looked into as i actually don’t feel well? Do family doctors just not have much familiarity with this? What would you recommend?
2024.05.17 01:58 g0b1rds215 Sharing my DHGate Jersey Experience and Outcome
 | Since everyone is sharing their DHGate purchased jerseys and most appear to be entirely successful attempts with great outcomes, I figured I’d share mine as well. It’s by no means a complete cautionary tale, but not a perfect outcome either. submitted by g0b1rds215 to phillies [link] [comments] Process: The seller’s initial tracking wasn’t working. I let it be for about 2 weeks before writing. To their credit, they immediately updated the tracking, however it showed that my package had not yet even been picked up from the seller. This suggests to me that the seller either misplaced or forgot to ship my package. Based on the outcome, I’m going to say they forgot my order. Product: The jersey appears to be a little rushed. The MLB logo is slightly crooked and off center. The Nike label on the lower front part of the jersey is iron on, and it appears they didn’t let it cool before folding the jersey, so when unpacking it was stuck to the upper left shoulder. After peeling it off there’s a hard to spot black stain on the shoulder and the label looks really beat up. Finally, you can see in the last picture there’s a decent amount of threading going on. Overall I paid €26 incl. shipping (yes, EUR as I am in Europe). That’s slightly higher in dollars, like $28.50. Keep in mind, new buyers, that shipping charges are added at checkout. A $15 jersey will likely be $30 all said and done. Choosing a seller: The vendor I used was highly rated, with thousands of sales and ratings. Also with alot of pictures from previous purchasers. I recommend using the same factors in your decision. Pricing as well. There will be some options at incredibly low prices. You do however generally tend to get what you pay for. There’s some great buying guides online for DHG. Have a look for sure before selecting your seller. Overall experience: for the price, I’m generally happy with the outcome. Would i wear this guy around Philly? Probably not. But around my European city? Sure. This country doesn’t boast a lot of A/C so I like to wear baseball jerseys in the summer as a way to keep cool, and this will do nicely. The price of the item is so cheap, I’ll probably give it another go with this vendor, and will likely try out another one or two highly rated guys. I also ordered three pairs of shoes off the site, each of which was about €50, with the real versions being over €200 for each pair. I tested three different vendors doing this with the idea in mind that if one of the three came out good, I made out like a bandit. I got lucky and all three are absolutely incredible looking, feeling etc. I should have done the same with my jersey purchases, however as it was my initial round of orderings, I wanted to be on the conservative end. I’ve got a flyers jersey on the way, so curious how that will come out. Final thought: I’ve been an “authentic snob” my whole life, only ever buying the fully stitched, on-field versions of jerseys and spending stupid money for them. Here in Europe in particular, having a fully authentic jersey really makes you stand out from the crowd. Switching to DHG is my protest of the lack of quality of fanatics products and company model. I ordered a shirt for my farther as a gift in the US. The item was on sale in the European store, and though it would be shipped from the U.S. to a U.S. address, fanatics would only let me select international shipping, nullifying the sale price I ordered it for. When I wrote fanatics to tell them of the issue, they offered me a 10a% discount on a future order, the same 10% they gladly throw away if you create an account. I told them I didn’t find it acceptable, just return the difference in shipping, and they literally ignored my response email. I’m exactly the kind of idiot the “big 4” sports leagues could have milked year after year if they didn’t get so greedy and sell their rights to a company like fanatics whose only goal is bottom line, without a single thought to quality or care in their business model. Until they go back to reputable suppliers, they won’t get my business. |
2024.05.17 01:57 PeytonBrownReddit Male Loneliness and social issues
Hey guys!!
So my story and the things that I am struggling with might sound familiar and I am looking for some advice. (25M)
Growing up I moved schools 2 times- once in second grade, and the other in forth grade when my parents got divorced. That last school is where I spent the last 8 years of my schooling and graduated. Fitting in was weird for me. A lot of the cool kids already had friends and I resorted to acting out to get attention. It was hard to deal with the divorce of my parents at 12 and having to make new friends and not feeling accepted.
I finally made some “friends” a few years later with the basketball players, I had classes with them and sat with them at lunch every day. But I would never get invited to birthday parties or hangouts. I could never figure out why. I spent the next few years trying to fit into that group by playing basketball. It never happened.
Dr. K talks a lot about trauma and emotional processing and I think these are a few of the points thinking back that make me over analyze how people look at me. To the point it is ruining my mental health.
Every time I say something in conversation, I am in my own head. I long for more friends that care about me and want to go out and socialize but need to binge drink to do so (and do). My hands always have a tremor around people and get clammy so handshakes suck. Women are terrifying. And this is all perpetrated by the social media age.
“Go to therapy” I did. After the process of being put on a wait list by my psychiatrist, I got scheduled an appointment with a doctor. He told me openly that he is an atheist in our second appointment which created a weird feeling towards him personally. And the thought of calling again and changing doctors is overwhelming to me. I’ll get rerouted 4 times and hopefully be able to talk to someone who can get me another waitlist spot.
I have felt this way for 3 years now and it is getting worse with the added stress of a 10-7 in mortgage sales. I don’t even want to exercise anymore. I’m beat
submitted by PeytonBrownReddit to Healthygamergg [link] [comments]
So my story and the things that I am struggling with might sound familiar and I am looking for some advice. (25M)
Growing up I moved schools 2 times- once in second grade, and the other in forth grade when my parents got divorced. That last school is where I spent the last 8 years of my schooling and graduated. Fitting in was weird for me. A lot of the cool kids already had friends and I resorted to acting out to get attention. It was hard to deal with the divorce of my parents at 12 and having to make new friends and not feeling accepted.
I finally made some “friends” a few years later with the basketball players, I had classes with them and sat with them at lunch every day. But I would never get invited to birthday parties or hangouts. I could never figure out why. I spent the next few years trying to fit into that group by playing basketball. It never happened.
Dr. K talks a lot about trauma and emotional processing and I think these are a few of the points thinking back that make me over analyze how people look at me. To the point it is ruining my mental health.
Every time I say something in conversation, I am in my own head. I long for more friends that care about me and want to go out and socialize but need to binge drink to do so (and do). My hands always have a tremor around people and get clammy so handshakes suck. Women are terrifying. And this is all perpetrated by the social media age.
“Go to therapy” I did. After the process of being put on a wait list by my psychiatrist, I got scheduled an appointment with a doctor. He told me openly that he is an atheist in our second appointment which created a weird feeling towards him personally. And the thought of calling again and changing doctors is overwhelming to me. I’ll get rerouted 4 times and hopefully be able to talk to someone who can get me another waitlist spot.
I have felt this way for 3 years now and it is getting worse with the added stress of a 10-7 in mortgage sales. I don’t even want to exercise anymore. I’m beat
2024.05.17 01:57 Ridtom Amy Was Not Born Bad (With citations)
I've been hearing people saying that Amy is an example of a character being "born evil" or "ontologically evil", because her being a sexual predator must mean that Carol was right.
Which is bizarre, because Worm and Ward both show that Amy was just a normal kid dealing with emotional abuse and fucked up dependency, before she leapt off the slippery slope.
So I decided to prove this with a collection of snippets from the Parahumans series showing that the entire point of Amy's character is that she was someone who was a normal child in the first place:
And yes, Carol was singling her out even pre-Worm.
Amy became a monster, but she was NEVER born bad.
submitted by Ridtom to Parahumans [link] [comments]
Which is bizarre, because Worm and Ward both show that Amy was just a normal kid dealing with emotional abuse and fucked up dependency, before she leapt off the slippery slope.
So I decided to prove this with a collection of snippets from the Parahumans series showing that the entire point of Amy's character is that she was someone who was a normal child in the first place:
And yes, Carol was singling her out even pre-Worm.
- Infrared 19.9 (elementary school Amy being put down by Carol and basically threatened with a traumatic trigger event)
Eric retreated into the living room, plunking himself down into a chair, slumping down so his arms were up on the armrest, feet on the floor, and his upper body stretched along the seat, chin against collarbone.*
He looked at us without moving his head.
"What's up?" I asked.
He shrugged.
"How's she doing?" I asked.
He shrugged, then mumbled, "There were some days she was really scary. I had no idea what she'd do. Mostly now she's… extra teenager-ish, I guess."
He sighed, dramatic.
"It's tough being the odd one out, isn't it?" Amy asked. She was sitting on the short couch beneath the window, feet curled up beside her, a folded book in her lap.
"Really tough."
"Do you want to talk about it?" Amy asked.
"Nah."
"You can reach out to us anytime," Amy said.
"Okay. Thanks, I guess."
He got up and pulled a controller out from under the television. He flipped the switches to turn the TV and console on, and it "Thwooomed" with the console's startup sound.
He held out a controller, offering it to Amy and me.
"Reading," Amy said. "Thanks though."
Amy took a second to pull a throw blanket down from the back of the couch and toss it over her legs and feet, before picking up her book.*
I walked around the end of the couch, leaning over the arm, my head parallel to hers as I read over her shoulder.
"You're distracting me," she said. Her head moved, frizzy brown hair mashing into my face as she butted her head lightly into mine.
"Who's Roaraxia?" I asked.
"Do you want to read this after I'm done?" she asked. "Emphasis on after?"
"Depends. Is Roaraxia cool?"
"She's the bad guy, and yeah, I guess."
"Is the good guy cool?" I asked.
"No," Amy said, sighing. "Almost never, in books."
"In your books, maybe."
"It's the appeal, isn't it? Peasants, criminals, orphans, they get a chance and they become cool by the end of the book."
I snorted, got up, and took my seat at the other end of the short couch. I stuck my feet out and wormed them beneath Amy's blanket.
"Your feet are cold," Amy told me, kicking me in the shin.
"So are yours," I said, grabbing the corner of the blanket and pulling it away from her foot. "Now they're colder."
What ensued was like thumb wrestling, feet kicking at and pushing against feet in a battle for control. She wasn't trying very hard, though, because she had her eyes on the book. The battle was less about the feet and more about me trying to get her attention as much as she tried to avoid giving it to me.
"You need to shave your legs," Amy said. "It's like sandpaper."
"Gross," Eric said, not taking his eyes off the game.
"It gives me the heebie jeebies," Amy said. "Like the squeak from markers on a whiteboard, or sneakers on the gym floor."
"Tiny hairs, sticking in the underside of your feet," I teased her. "And when you walk, you're walking on them and pushing them in deeper…"
She pulled her feet away like I was on fire, and shivered visibly, putting her book down. My victory.
I kept going, "And when they grow, they're pointed in the wrong direction, so they grow in…"
Amy made incoherent sounds of protest.
"I'm pretty sure it doesn't work that way," Eric said.
"It probably doesn't," I said. I let my head loll back onto the armrest behind me, no longer fighting with Amy. "We're supposed to take a science class next semester."
"Chemistry, biology, or physics," Amy clarified. "We got the sheet in homeroom. Also art, music, or drama."
"Same. What did you pick for science?"
"Chemistry. Physics is the advanced kids' stream and is supposed to be hard, and in biology you might have to dissect frogs. No thank you," Amy answered. "Ick."
"I thought there would be some parts of it that are useful for health and fitness, first aid."
"You're thinking about cape stuff," Amy said.
"Naturally."
"And I bet you picked drama."
"Art," I told her. "At least for the one year. I'm not very good at it, but there's emblems and icons, color mechanics, costumes, poses and posture…"
Amy snorted. "Of course. I picked art too, mostly by process of elimination. So we might be in the same class."
"Cool."
"We wanted to talk with you because of what happened to Crystal," Aunt Sarah said. "Based on what's happening elsewhere, and how Carol and I both got powers, we wanted each of you to be aware of what might be coming down the road."
"We'll get powers," I said.
"Probably," my dad said. "Possibly. I know you know the answer, but… do you know how?"
"Trigger events," I said.
Amy spoke up, "This is like having a math whiz in the class, putting her hand up every time a question is asked."
"I'm not that bad."
"It's more serious than math class," Uncle Neil said. "Eric, do you understand about Trigger events?"
"That's the day you get powers?" Eric asked.
"It's what makes you get powers. It's a very important moment."
"One of the best or worst days of your life," I said.
"It can be," my Uncle said.
"If you want it to be a good day," my mother said, "The best thing you can do is be a good student, a good athlete, and the best person you can be. Strive for things and then accomplish those things."
"Great," Amy said. "I'm doomed."
"But," Aunt Sarah said, and it sounded like a sentence. She gave my mom a look. "As far as we can tell, it's rare. You should absolutely try to improve your chances, especially Victoria and Eric. The powers seem to run in the family, and getting a 'good' trigger would help reduce the chances that you get a bad one-"
"We don't know if the chances are as high for you, but it would behoove you to get your grades up, Amy," my mom said.
"Great," Amy said, making a face.
"I've been urging you for some time to join a club, a team, make your own friends. You have too contained a life."
"That's not what we're here to talk about," Aunt Sarah said. "Again, yes, I think it would be good to focus on success, but we should be prepared for the other cases. If something happens, if you have a really bad day and you get hurt or scared or angry, then it's possible you could have a bad trigger event. And it's hard. Right now, Crystal is going through a lot. Neil, me, Mark, Carol, we all went through it."
"All bad?" Amy asked.
"Yes, Amy."
"What happened?" Eric asked.
I braced myself, ready for my mom to shut it down.
"Your mother and I were kidnapped," my mother said. "They kept us in a dark basement for a long time. And then they tried to kill us."
I blinked, my head swimming as I absorbed that. Things made sense now. I had so many more questions.
"Neil had the accident, which you know about" my Aunt Sarah said. I knew. They'd met in the physical therapy after. Her for a riding injury, him for his trigger. "Mark-"
"I was on a boat when we were attacked," my dad said.
"The point is," my Aunt Sarah stressed, "we need you to be aware that this is a thing that happens. Very often, when we get powers, it isn't always easy, fun, or great. We need you all to be gentle with Crystal, not to pry, not to pressure, give her space, and let her handle things in her own way."
I felt frustrated at that, yet I couldn't say anything. They were saying this because I'd been asking her questions before.
"As you grow up, and we bring you to more events where capes are present, it's important to remember that many of them have been through the same," my mother said. "It's a question of courtesy and cape politics."
I nodded at that.
"It's not just others. We need you to be gentle with yourselves," Uncle Neil said. "Be prepared and be aware. When Sarah triggered, she hurt people, badly. I did the same."
"And I took a life," my mother said.
My eyes widened at that.
There was a pause, a break in the flow of conversation. And it was my mom, wearing a sweater, her hair long, looking much like a mom, with sunlight coming in from the window, and I could see it in her eyes. The fact that she had come to terms with that.
"…We weren't going to mention that," Aunt Sarah said, indicating Eric.
"I almost killed someone too," Crystal said.
I wasn't sure how to even imagine that. I wasn't sure Crystal could even imagine it, from the look on her face.
All I knew was that some sketchy people had recognized her and followed her off the bus, running after her when she ran. I only knew that much because my mom had told Amy and me to be extra careful, and had insisted she or dad drive us if we went anywhere.
"They're mad, now, apparently," Crystal said, hugging her arms to her body. "They want to get revenge."
"Often the case," my dad said. "Bad begets bad."
I could tell that my parents' approach to things wasn't really jibing with how Aunt Sarah had wanted to approach it. A little too serious when Eric was three years younger than me and Amy.
"It might happen to you," My mother said. "Chances are the time it happens won't be a time you're capable of being your most rational, but that makes it all the more important that you make resolutions and understand things now. There's a good chance that when you're facing the worst day of your life, you might be in a position to do irreparable harm to someone."
"I don't think I'm the type."
"I didn't think I was the type either, Amy," my mother said. "That makes it easier for the moment to catch you off guard."
"It's not all fun and games," my dad said. He met my eyes as he said it.
Aunt Sarah opened her mouth, like she wanted to say something… but she couldn't refute the fact.
"If I could go back-" Crystal started. She stopped, aware that every set of eyes was on her. Her eyes moving so she wasn't looking at anyone at all, she went on, "-I wouldn't do it again. I wouldn't want these powers."
"I'm so sorry, Crystal," Amy said.
Crystal shrugged.
"That's crazy," I said.
"Victoria," my mother's voice was stern. "We were just talking about sensitivity."
"But she can- you can fly, Crystal."
"And every time I do, it feels a bit like I'm still running away from those people," she said.
"That's a reality for many of us," my aunt Sarah said. A woman I'd associated with warm hugs, pumpkin cookies, and all of the cool 'my relative is a superhero' stuff without the 'also my parent' crap, except now she was talking from a place of darkness and hurting people.
"I hope I never get powers," my sister said. I saw Crystal nod.
- Infrared 19.10 where we see that Amy always remembered how Carol treated her
"I saw scenes from our childhood. Stuff to do with mom, Uncle Neil, and Dean. You were there."
"Fucking up?" she asked.
"Nah," I said. "Just there. Talking about Roaraxia and fantasy books."
"The talk," Amy said. Still without turning around.
Dot crawled up Amy and perched on her shoulder, sitting backwards so she could watch me. Wearing purple overalls with no shirt.
"Yeah. The talk. I'd mostly forgotten."
"I didn't. I couldn't pick up another book in the Roar series without thinking about mom getting on my case in front of everyone. Amy with no friends, no hobbies, she's small."
I looked at my mom. My mom was frowning.
- Gleam 9.2 has Victoria talking about how her and Amy were normal sisters, how Amy was a quiet but nice kid, and how they both felt weird about their fame influencing their relationships
I was no stranger to distorted thinking. Even before… before everything, I'd been swept up in it. As a child, wanting to belong to my family, being the odd one out, until I got my power. I'd later realized how lonely powers were.
The flip side of the coin applied too. Being the odd one in.
Amy had been the odd one in more than I had. Purely average in appearance, quiet, she hadn't been passionate about hobbies or about anything in particular. She'd liked movies from Aleph and when she was twelve she'd break her usual reserved, quiet composure to get way too excited if she checked the change slot of a vending machine or pay phone and found a quarter. And yet when we got to high school, she was automatically included in the group of popular students. The group with Dean, who was supposed to take over his dad's company, and with the star athletes and the star athletes' boyfriends and girlfriends.
I'd eventually looked beyond my bubble of thinking my sister was great because she was my sister and I fucking loved her, wondering why she was included in the group of popular students when she wasn't popular. Then I'd had to draw the eventual, inevitable conclusion, and wonder if I belonged to that group. Was I there just because my parents wore costumes and had flashy powers?
I'd settled in despite that. Amy had settled out- hanging out to keep me company, but not going out of her way to stick with the group. It had been easy for her to move in that direction, after I'd gotten powers. I'd been grateful for my earlier realization about the nature of the group, because it kept me real and provided a starting point for realizing where Dean was coming from, having come from money. I'd loathed it at the same time, because it cast doubt on every normal interaction.
- From Within 16.y has Mark regale Amy with a story about how much of an adorable child she was, how Victoria was more a problem child in ways, and how innocent she was in being flustered by a cute hair-dresser
Mark approached, stopping by a table, which he leaned against. "I remember, Amy, you hated to sit still for haircuts."There's obviously more, including how in Worm, Amy single-handedly save the hostages in the bank fight from Skitter. Or how she feels gross about the idea of making people pay for healing.
"I was a terrible child. I get it," Amy muttered.
"No, you were a wonder of a child next to the unholy terror that was Victoria," Mark told her. "And you're a fine woman now. I wish it wasn't such a hard journey to get from there to here, but I'm glad to be here with you in the present moment."
The words seemed to calm Hunter more than they affected Amy.
"You're trying to butter me up."
"You can touch me if you want to tell if I'm sincere."
"Can't. Focusing on Hunter."
"After then."
"No," Amy said. She was pacified, calmer. "No need."
She worked her way through Hunter's brain. There were triggers and flags everywhere. Certain perceptions, certain emotions, attitudes.
Hunter's power was involuntary.
"We'd give you candies to suck on so you couldn't complain while sitting in the chair," Mark said. "And on one particular visit, the last one with the candy, as you'll recall…"
Amy groaned.
"A new hairdresser came up, and she hugged you from behind, looked over your shoulder in the mirror, and she said something to the effect of, 'what would you like us to do, cutie?' She surprised the hell out of you-"
"That wasn't surprise."
"No?" Mark asked. And she could hear the change of tone. He rallied, "But you choked."
"I did choke."
"And you gagged," Mark said, his tone warm. "While you were trying to dislodge the candy. I was thumping your back. And then you threw up, onto the barber's bib, and it wicked straight down onto your shoes."
"I can't believe the world ended and I'm still hearing about it."
"You were inconsolable."
Amy became a monster, but she was NEVER born bad.
2024.05.17 01:56 Revolutionary_Role12 Seeking help to create a synthwave backing track of paranoid android
Hey all so this is pretty random but here goes I'm a hobbie DJ but no nothing about making music I'm putting on a beer festival in the uk that's set in the future (2074 to be exact) I've got a some friends who are in a string quartet and they have agreed to get involved I thought it would be so cool to have them playing a selection of synthwave tracks and because I like to DJ I thought it would be awesome to pre mix 12 songs along with videos and have the musicians play along to the backing music with Lazers and smoke. I'm putting together a list of tracks that I feel would be epic. Including some muse tracks. Your the voice, kung fury true survivor etc one of the big pieces I wanted to be played was paranoid android by radio head. I've found an awesome version on you tube and basically wanted to ask if anyone on here would be able to create a backing track for the song like in the link below. With a gentle beat and a synth doing the cords So that the quartet can play over the top.
Cheers
https://youtu.be/tTPMIoINQJ0?si=zZSVCXEBfbPU5jE-
submitted by Revolutionary_Role12 to musicproduction [link] [comments]
Cheers
https://youtu.be/tTPMIoINQJ0?si=zZSVCXEBfbPU5jE-
2024.05.17 01:56 random1244579 I 20(M) have a crush on my best friend (20F). Should I talk to our other best friend (20F) about it?
Over the past year and some change, I (20M) have made an amazing friendship with 2 girls who I absolutely love and adore (both 20F). They've known each other basically their whole lives, and are inseparable. For the past few months, maybe since the new year but I can't give an exact time, I've developed really really strong feelings for the one.
Recently, we've been made to spend a lot of time together, almost every single day, due to our schedules for uni being practically identical, and us sharing friend groups. Every time that we're just the two of us together, we have the absolute best time together and it always gives such good relationship vibes. We go from dying of laughter together one minute, to belting out Usher in the car the next, to crying together because of a sad video on tiktok, to having meaningful philosophical conversations, and then back to laughter and on and on. I always just think of that "what could we possibly be?" question, and I think we'd be really good together. And I know I'm not the only one that sees it. Her parents and sibling, my parents, and a few other mutuals do too. The other day we got told we talk to eachother like we've been married for 20 years haha.
The more I get to know her, the more I realize that she's the only person I want to be in a relationship with. If I could choose traits for my ideal partner to have, she'd fit into every single category. In fact, she's why a lot of those categories are there in the first place.
I don't know if looked into this too much, but the other day she asked me about how I'd define love, what it means to love, and if I've been in love before. I know I'm looking at this through rose tinted glasses, but is that a question that someone just randomly asks someone else? I didn't really take it as that, but I feel like I may be wrong there.
I've been pining to tell her how I feel for a long time now (and when she asked that above question I really wanted to tell her), but haven't for a few reasons, the main one being that I know that I'm nowhere near her type physically, and unfortunately that's quite a big thing for her, but more than that, I'm scared of things changing between us. She's my favorite person in my life, and I never want that to change. I don't want to live a life that doesn't have her as a main character in my story. On top of that, I also don't want my crush to know because I fear this'll break the trust and level of safety we have in each other. I don't know if she'll ever be able to view me the same after this if she doesnt share my feelings.
The one person who I do really want to tell, is our mutual bestie, and other member of our little trio. If anyone were to know what she'd think or could possibly think, it's her. To put it bluntly, I think she's the only person who could get me to pull my head out of my ass and force myself to get over this crush (lol), or plant the seeds that'll blossom into something hopefully great. I just don't know if bringing someone else into this is the right move, especially someone so close to us. Should I have a chat with her and get her opinion or not?
I think what I'd say to her would also be important to note: Firstly, I'd ask her to keep this between us which I'm almost certain she would unless she felt it was gonna go somewhere. Then, I'd ask her what I should do, between A) confessing how I feel, and doing one of two things, those being either it goes how I want it to and we're all happy, or feelings aren't reciprocated, and I distance myself for a little bit while I get my head screwed on straight and get myself to a point where I can be the friend that my crush deserves (that being one that doesn't look at her and constantly want to be more than what we currently are). Or B) I keep quiet, and move on like nothing happened and hope I get over her somehow.
What should I do? Should I bring it up to our friend or not?
submitted by random1244579 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
Recently, we've been made to spend a lot of time together, almost every single day, due to our schedules for uni being practically identical, and us sharing friend groups. Every time that we're just the two of us together, we have the absolute best time together and it always gives such good relationship vibes. We go from dying of laughter together one minute, to belting out Usher in the car the next, to crying together because of a sad video on tiktok, to having meaningful philosophical conversations, and then back to laughter and on and on. I always just think of that "what could we possibly be?" question, and I think we'd be really good together. And I know I'm not the only one that sees it. Her parents and sibling, my parents, and a few other mutuals do too. The other day we got told we talk to eachother like we've been married for 20 years haha.
The more I get to know her, the more I realize that she's the only person I want to be in a relationship with. If I could choose traits for my ideal partner to have, she'd fit into every single category. In fact, she's why a lot of those categories are there in the first place.
I don't know if looked into this too much, but the other day she asked me about how I'd define love, what it means to love, and if I've been in love before. I know I'm looking at this through rose tinted glasses, but is that a question that someone just randomly asks someone else? I didn't really take it as that, but I feel like I may be wrong there.
I've been pining to tell her how I feel for a long time now (and when she asked that above question I really wanted to tell her), but haven't for a few reasons, the main one being that I know that I'm nowhere near her type physically, and unfortunately that's quite a big thing for her, but more than that, I'm scared of things changing between us. She's my favorite person in my life, and I never want that to change. I don't want to live a life that doesn't have her as a main character in my story. On top of that, I also don't want my crush to know because I fear this'll break the trust and level of safety we have in each other. I don't know if she'll ever be able to view me the same after this if she doesnt share my feelings.
The one person who I do really want to tell, is our mutual bestie, and other member of our little trio. If anyone were to know what she'd think or could possibly think, it's her. To put it bluntly, I think she's the only person who could get me to pull my head out of my ass and force myself to get over this crush (lol), or plant the seeds that'll blossom into something hopefully great. I just don't know if bringing someone else into this is the right move, especially someone so close to us. Should I have a chat with her and get her opinion or not?
I think what I'd say to her would also be important to note: Firstly, I'd ask her to keep this between us which I'm almost certain she would unless she felt it was gonna go somewhere. Then, I'd ask her what I should do, between A) confessing how I feel, and doing one of two things, those being either it goes how I want it to and we're all happy, or feelings aren't reciprocated, and I distance myself for a little bit while I get my head screwed on straight and get myself to a point where I can be the friend that my crush deserves (that being one that doesn't look at her and constantly want to be more than what we currently are). Or B) I keep quiet, and move on like nothing happened and hope I get over her somehow.
What should I do? Should I bring it up to our friend or not?
2024.05.17 01:55 Revolutionary_Role12 Seeking help to create a synthwave backing track of paranoid android
Hey all so this is pretty random but here goes I'm a hobbie DJ but no nothing about making music I'm putting on a beer festival in the uk that's set in the future (2074 to be exact) I've got a some friends who are in a string quartet and they have agreed to get involved I thought it would be so cool to have them playing a selection of synthwave tracks and because I like to DJ I thought it would be awesome to pre mix 12 songs along with videos and have the musicians play along to the backing music with Lazers and smoke. I'm putting together a list of tracks that I feel would be epic. Including some muse tracks. Your the voice, kung fury true survivor etc one of the big pieces I wanted to be played was paranoid android by radio head. I've found an awesome version on you tube and basically wanted to ask if anyone on here would be able to create a backing track for the song like in the link below. With a gentle beat and a synth doing the cords So that the quartet can play over the top.
Cheers
https://youtu.be/tTPMIoINQJ0?si=zZSVCXEBfbPU5jE-
submitted by Revolutionary_Role12 to SynthwaveProduction [link] [comments]
Cheers
https://youtu.be/tTPMIoINQJ0?si=zZSVCXEBfbPU5jE-
2024.05.17 01:55 Healthy-Initial7086 AITA for assuming a coworker's hometown?
I'm an intern at a large firm and have gotten quite close/familiar with my team. We joke a lot and no one takes themselves too seriously. Today, the head of our team (who I'll call Daniel) invited me to meet a bunch of people from other departments and get a better feel for the office. Despite being a bit nervous, I decided to loosen up a little and figured it was a great opportunity to make some good impressions.
I went through a bunch of typical greetings/introductions and eventually got introduced to someone who moved to work in our country from abroad. The thing is, I actually have quite a few university buddies from his home country, and they all happen to be from this pretty niche city in the Northern part of it. So naturally I asked him if he happened to be from that specific city, and explained that a bunch of my buddies were. For context, it's still a normal city and has absolutely no negative connotations that I've ever heard of. Daniel started cracking up about how specific my question was. He was obviously joking but I immediately thought "Oh fuck" and started to internally panic. The guy didn't look remotely bothered by it and kindly responded that he was in fact from a different city that I also knew of.
When we got back to my desk, Daniel told the rest of the team about my guess, and everyone burst out laughing. I found it kind of funny too but wanted to smack myself for making that assumption. One of my senior colleagues happens to be from the same country and told me that the people from that city generally have slightly darker skin. She still found it hilarious and reassured me that my question was innocent and funny even to her -- but in my head, I was already dying of embarrassment and wishing to be teleported to the North Pole. I genuinely meant zero harm or insult, and I hope my friendly tone reflected that too.
AITA for making that guess? I'll never do this again either way, but want to know how bad this is.
submitted by Healthy-Initial7086 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
I went through a bunch of typical greetings/introductions and eventually got introduced to someone who moved to work in our country from abroad. The thing is, I actually have quite a few university buddies from his home country, and they all happen to be from this pretty niche city in the Northern part of it. So naturally I asked him if he happened to be from that specific city, and explained that a bunch of my buddies were. For context, it's still a normal city and has absolutely no negative connotations that I've ever heard of. Daniel started cracking up about how specific my question was. He was obviously joking but I immediately thought "Oh fuck" and started to internally panic. The guy didn't look remotely bothered by it and kindly responded that he was in fact from a different city that I also knew of.
When we got back to my desk, Daniel told the rest of the team about my guess, and everyone burst out laughing. I found it kind of funny too but wanted to smack myself for making that assumption. One of my senior colleagues happens to be from the same country and told me that the people from that city generally have slightly darker skin. She still found it hilarious and reassured me that my question was innocent and funny even to her -- but in my head, I was already dying of embarrassment and wishing to be teleported to the North Pole. I genuinely meant zero harm or insult, and I hope my friendly tone reflected that too.
AITA for making that guess? I'll never do this again either way, but want to know how bad this is.
2024.05.17 01:53 PerriX2390 Channel 10 confirms Australian Survivor: Brains V Brawn II will air in the second half of 2024.
submitted by PerriX2390 to survivorau [link] [comments]
2024.05.17 01:53 brokecoconut New to this
Hi all. 25f who just came to the realization about a week ago that I may have fibro, possibly chronic fatigue syndrome. Was talking with a friend who has similar issues and she brought up that I should contemplate looking into a fibro diagnosis. Have been going down the rabbit hole since.
Back story: I have scoliosis since 11yo, spina bifida (asymptomatic, though), chronic back pains since. I have always gone through the ringer any time I've gotten sick. Looking back at any major health-related event that's happened to me, the symptoms and whatnot line up with experiencing fibro flare-ups.
-first time getting covid sent the absolute WORST nerve pain from hips to toes for a week and a half straight. I'd had nerve pain like that before, never to that degree.
-got the bad flu back in April 2019, it took me out of work for a month. Was near blacked-out on my dad's couch for like 3 days, hardly ate and drank anything, couldn't see straight. Afterwards, developed pleurisy in my lungs that took FOREVER to stop feeling pains from (I wanna say upwards of 6-12ish months.
-Giving birth to our first child had failed epidural, decided to have the baby naturally, and that pain was like no other. Felt beyond "birthing pains that we all deal with". Back labor and BURNING burning burning feeling in my palms. Recovery from the birth took probably the first 6 months before I started to feel like a human, and didn't feel less of the chronic overall pain and fatigue until baby's first birthday. For comparison, our second birth went nothing like that, except I did hemorrhage badly afterward (which idk if that's even related). Recovery from baby #2 is still ongoing as I am only 3m PP. Second birth was astronomically easier, which I acknowledge that such is the case for a lot of women, so I don't fully blame all that pain from baby #1 on fibro. But I definitely notice more questions than answers popping up.
-years of emotional abuse from mom and stepdad, trauma, and anxiety attacks as a kid. Any anxiety attack was met with heaps of sobbing, screaming in confusion, not understanding why I felt the way I did. Would usually take the entire next day or two to physically recover.
-as a kid, often had chronic overall back pain that was met with being called "lazy". Took years to have anyone take me seriously. Still don't really convince people that my body never feels good, even as a grown adult.
Chronic pain never ends. Realizing now that all my aches and flareups are nerve pains all over masking themselves as aches. Noticing quite a bit of issues I need to address with my body. I have an appointment on 6/21 to meet with NP to discuss health and want to ask about a fibro diagnosis.
I guess my question is this: I'm so new to all of the information I've read over the last week, where do I start? Doctor sends me to rheumatologist, then what? I've been told to ask for "complete" ANA panel to be done to see if I have any other autoimmune disorders. I'm starting a log on my phone of pains I'm noticing, what works to help it, what doesn't. I checked out a book on anti-inflammatory dieting so I can eat better for myself. Weaning myself off of caffeine, it's going okay, slowly but surely.
Also, how do you track what's causing a flare-up- keeping a note, then back-tracking what happened within the last day to see what could be the trigger? Should I also keep a constant food log?
What supports and aides can I use to make things easier for myself that you notice work for you? My main issues are overall-back pain, my hips have been messed up pretty badly since baby #2, constant neck and shoulder pain, upper back pain, and now recently noticing my upper arms are constantly like lead weights, and now pins-and-needles/dull/sharp/other various nerve pains in my hands and feet. I'm extremely sensitive to the heat, the dead of winter pains me down to my bones, clothes cause me a lot of sensory issues and always feel like digging into my skin so I live in shorts all year round (yes, even in winter because I also stay hot year-round). Concentration has always been bad. Memory has always been bad. Noticing now since baby #2 in January that potential for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is making brain fog so much worse (which yes it could be baby brain, but I've always been this way).
I'm having such a hard time coping and keeping track of everything. I have 2 under 2, so I am constantly, always scatter-brained. I'm trying to stay sane until my appointment. I'm trying to remember things in my daily life that help with flareups. I'm trying hard to balance exercise, with self care.
Anything is appreciated. Spam me with literally anything so I have a place to refer back to with my researching. Links, books, YouTube videos, research articles, tips, support devices, groups, pages, literally whatever you got that has helped you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
TL;DR: Need advice with coping with what I assume is having fibro, until I can get to my doctor appt coming up.
Lots of love & pain-free days to you all. ❤️
submitted by brokecoconut to Fibromyalgia [link] [comments]
Back story: I have scoliosis since 11yo, spina bifida (asymptomatic, though), chronic back pains since. I have always gone through the ringer any time I've gotten sick. Looking back at any major health-related event that's happened to me, the symptoms and whatnot line up with experiencing fibro flare-ups.
-first time getting covid sent the absolute WORST nerve pain from hips to toes for a week and a half straight. I'd had nerve pain like that before, never to that degree.
-got the bad flu back in April 2019, it took me out of work for a month. Was near blacked-out on my dad's couch for like 3 days, hardly ate and drank anything, couldn't see straight. Afterwards, developed pleurisy in my lungs that took FOREVER to stop feeling pains from (I wanna say upwards of 6-12ish months.
-Giving birth to our first child had failed epidural, decided to have the baby naturally, and that pain was like no other. Felt beyond "birthing pains that we all deal with". Back labor and BURNING burning burning feeling in my palms. Recovery from the birth took probably the first 6 months before I started to feel like a human, and didn't feel less of the chronic overall pain and fatigue until baby's first birthday. For comparison, our second birth went nothing like that, except I did hemorrhage badly afterward (which idk if that's even related). Recovery from baby #2 is still ongoing as I am only 3m PP. Second birth was astronomically easier, which I acknowledge that such is the case for a lot of women, so I don't fully blame all that pain from baby #1 on fibro. But I definitely notice more questions than answers popping up.
-years of emotional abuse from mom and stepdad, trauma, and anxiety attacks as a kid. Any anxiety attack was met with heaps of sobbing, screaming in confusion, not understanding why I felt the way I did. Would usually take the entire next day or two to physically recover.
-as a kid, often had chronic overall back pain that was met with being called "lazy". Took years to have anyone take me seriously. Still don't really convince people that my body never feels good, even as a grown adult.
Chronic pain never ends. Realizing now that all my aches and flareups are nerve pains all over masking themselves as aches. Noticing quite a bit of issues I need to address with my body. I have an appointment on 6/21 to meet with NP to discuss health and want to ask about a fibro diagnosis.
I guess my question is this: I'm so new to all of the information I've read over the last week, where do I start? Doctor sends me to rheumatologist, then what? I've been told to ask for "complete" ANA panel to be done to see if I have any other autoimmune disorders. I'm starting a log on my phone of pains I'm noticing, what works to help it, what doesn't. I checked out a book on anti-inflammatory dieting so I can eat better for myself. Weaning myself off of caffeine, it's going okay, slowly but surely.
Also, how do you track what's causing a flare-up- keeping a note, then back-tracking what happened within the last day to see what could be the trigger? Should I also keep a constant food log?
What supports and aides can I use to make things easier for myself that you notice work for you? My main issues are overall-back pain, my hips have been messed up pretty badly since baby #2, constant neck and shoulder pain, upper back pain, and now recently noticing my upper arms are constantly like lead weights, and now pins-and-needles/dull/sharp/other various nerve pains in my hands and feet. I'm extremely sensitive to the heat, the dead of winter pains me down to my bones, clothes cause me a lot of sensory issues and always feel like digging into my skin so I live in shorts all year round (yes, even in winter because I also stay hot year-round). Concentration has always been bad. Memory has always been bad. Noticing now since baby #2 in January that potential for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is making brain fog so much worse (which yes it could be baby brain, but I've always been this way).
I'm having such a hard time coping and keeping track of everything. I have 2 under 2, so I am constantly, always scatter-brained. I'm trying to stay sane until my appointment. I'm trying to remember things in my daily life that help with flareups. I'm trying hard to balance exercise, with self care.
Anything is appreciated. Spam me with literally anything so I have a place to refer back to with my researching. Links, books, YouTube videos, research articles, tips, support devices, groups, pages, literally whatever you got that has helped you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
TL;DR: Need advice with coping with what I assume is having fibro, until I can get to my doctor appt coming up.
Lots of love & pain-free days to you all. ❤️
2024.05.17 01:53 SweetPear877 what are your thoughts??
So i moved in with my boyfriend in Nov last year. We’re in the city, I’m at sahm, i don’t really go anywhere by myself in general or with the baby bc the city just feels unsafe. He makes time out of work to get things done we need. Always on his time tho. I’m understanding abt his work. Well first 3 weeks I’m here I’m not really driving my car, and it’s parked on the street. Someone broke my window and tried to steal my car. Now i can’t drive it with a busted window in the cold with my baby. He never reinstated my insurance policy 2 months before i moved in(which i didn’t know abt) i asked abt insurance and he said “idk they just stopped taking the payment out” So it sits outside for a few more weeks before the city marks it as an abandoned car and says move the car or we’re towing. So we move it to the other side and take off the note. Well 8 days later they towed it. It was such a headache i had to deal with at impound. We went to court and city reimbursed us for the towing and impound fees. So it’s back home, battery is dead it needs replaced, as well as the window still lol. So atp it’s been 2 months since they broke into my car. It sits on the street for abt 2 more weeks before he finally says he’s gonna change the battery. We go to change it and ig you need some special tool to take a battery out of a kia forte. So i get in the car just to look and someone had come back and tried to steal it again. My whole ignition is tore out. So it’s sitting there for a couple more weeks, we’re going on 4 months it’s still not fixed. Do i leave him?? Is this as serious as i think it is. To me it’s the whole principle of the story. If it was your mom’s or sisters car would you let it sit this long like this??? I worked two jobs to get that car 3.5 years ago before i met him. And the ironic part of this is that we actually met at a gas station 2 years ago where someone stole my car and we had to exchange info bc he wanted to pay for some of the deductible for feeling partially responsible. We currently share a bank account where he puts half of his paycheck and I’m responsible to pay my bills but mind you, sometimes his bills come out of the same account and i have to CONSTANTLY remind him to put more money in so i can pay mine. And lately he’s been making me wait an extra week until pay day. My credit score is 10 points away from 700 and im going to be so crushed if it drops.
Our story actually gets more interesting as he is married in another country and he had a kid with me that his family has no idea abt. I didn’t know he was married until i told him i was pregnant. Am i better off alone? He takes care of us financially and then some and nothing bad to say except this shit here and idk if I’d be better off just going on my way as a single mother in this economy or sticking out his shit.
submitted by SweetPear877 to AITAH [link] [comments]
Our story actually gets more interesting as he is married in another country and he had a kid with me that his family has no idea abt. I didn’t know he was married until i told him i was pregnant. Am i better off alone? He takes care of us financially and then some and nothing bad to say except this shit here and idk if I’d be better off just going on my way as a single mother in this economy or sticking out his shit.
2024.05.17 01:52 Dinglehopper2016 My dog was killed in my own backyard by two loose dogs. Legal options?
Location is California...As the title says, my dog was mauled to death by two pit bulls who entered my backyard.
My father had left one of our dogs in the backyard while taking the other for walk and returned home to horrific scene...he saw the dog who had stayed back lying motionless in a pool of blood through our back gate. When he entered through the back gate, he was confronted by the pit bulls who stopped when he yelled at them, giving him enough time to retreat to safety to the garage with dog #2.
Best we can tell, the pit bulls got into the yard due to a pile of garbage and refuse that was stacked on the other side of the wall (the wall enclosing our property is 6' high made of a decorative cinder block). Our next door neighbor passed away a few years ago and his house had been taken over by homeless squatters who have caused numerous headaches. They have since been cleared out by the city.
Animal Control came and took the pit bulls. The registered owner (both dogs were microchipped) contacted Animal Control after they had reached out to her and she identified the pit bulls as hers. Per the incident report, the owner claimed that her ex-boyfriend had taken the dogs and she didn't know where they were. Once she was told that there was a strong possibility of euthanasia, she said she would contact a lawyer and hung up. Animal Control hadn't been able to contact her since and they ended up declaring the dogs abandoned and vicious and put them down.
I'm planning to sue the owner in small claims court for the value of my dog ($500) and court costs. I understand that in California, dogs are considered property, so I don't think this will result in anything more than a pricy lesson on responsible dog ownership. I've been looking through various statutes, but was wondering if anyone had a suggestion as to the statute I should base my claim on?
submitted by Dinglehopper2016 to legaladvice [link] [comments]
My father had left one of our dogs in the backyard while taking the other for walk and returned home to horrific scene...he saw the dog who had stayed back lying motionless in a pool of blood through our back gate. When he entered through the back gate, he was confronted by the pit bulls who stopped when he yelled at them, giving him enough time to retreat to safety to the garage with dog #2.
Best we can tell, the pit bulls got into the yard due to a pile of garbage and refuse that was stacked on the other side of the wall (the wall enclosing our property is 6' high made of a decorative cinder block). Our next door neighbor passed away a few years ago and his house had been taken over by homeless squatters who have caused numerous headaches. They have since been cleared out by the city.
Animal Control came and took the pit bulls. The registered owner (both dogs were microchipped) contacted Animal Control after they had reached out to her and she identified the pit bulls as hers. Per the incident report, the owner claimed that her ex-boyfriend had taken the dogs and she didn't know where they were. Once she was told that there was a strong possibility of euthanasia, she said she would contact a lawyer and hung up. Animal Control hadn't been able to contact her since and they ended up declaring the dogs abandoned and vicious and put them down.
I'm planning to sue the owner in small claims court for the value of my dog ($500) and court costs. I understand that in California, dogs are considered property, so I don't think this will result in anything more than a pricy lesson on responsible dog ownership. I've been looking through various statutes, but was wondering if anyone had a suggestion as to the statute I should base my claim on?
2024.05.17 01:52 The_Scarecrow3 First ever AR - One year update
 | Thought I’d share this here since this community has really helped me grow my knowledge. Still poor though. submitted by The_Scarecrow3 to ar15 [link] [comments] Changes I made: Replaced upper with 5.56 (original was 300 BO), replaced stock with B5 Bravo ( much better cheek weld), Added streamlight protac 2, replaced scope mount with warne QD rings, replaced mil spec charging handle with LWRC Ambi, added sling. Here are some of the things I learnt as a one year AR owner: 1) Shooting is the ONLY way to understand what works and what doesn’t. For example this sub loves short foregrips . It took me two trips to the range to realize that VFGs are more my thing. Same for sights. Returned my RDS in a week and now I stick to scopes and irons depending on the range. 2) A sling is mandatory. It made shooting less tiring. 3) A good cheek weld makes a MASSIVE difference. Once I tried the B5, there was no going back. 4) Trends are temporary. What works for you may not be trending on this sub ATM but it doesn’t make it any less valuable. 5) How much you shoot is a lot more important than what you shoot. A $800 gun with $8k in ammo is a lot more fun than the other way round. Wouldn’t know though, I’m poor,never had an $8k gun I hope this helps someone who’s starting out. It’s been a fun year. Thanks y’all |
2024.05.17 01:51 BlueBrrzz Accidently walked in on my gfs sister showering
So I (24m) was spending the week at my gfs (24f) place. She lives a few blocks from her parents so they often visit her unannounced. Anyway I was at work last night texting my gf and on the way to her place she said she was going to go take a shower before bed and put her phone on do not disturb
I got to her place and noticed all of the lights were off except the bathroom light and the shower was running. Naughty thoughts ran through my head so I striped naked and went into the bathroom and stepped into the shower only to find her sister (11f) there instead of her
We made eye contact and I ran out and put my clothes back on. I checked my gfs bedroom and she was already in bed with headphones on completely oblivious to everything
I climbed in bed with her and didn't tell her what happened. Should I?
submitted by BlueBrrzz to Advice [link] [comments]
I got to her place and noticed all of the lights were off except the bathroom light and the shower was running. Naughty thoughts ran through my head so I striped naked and went into the bathroom and stepped into the shower only to find her sister (11f) there instead of her
We made eye contact and I ran out and put my clothes back on. I checked my gfs bedroom and she was already in bed with headphones on completely oblivious to everything
I climbed in bed with her and didn't tell her what happened. Should I?
2024.05.17 01:50 work_throwaway2019 [UPDATE] Gf broke up with me for not including her in Mardi Gras/Pride plans. Now she wants to get back together.
Earlier this year, I posted about being confused and devastated after my girlfriend broke up with me for allegedly not including her in my Mardi Gras/Pride plans. Everyone (including my IRL friends) was pretty insistent that the breakup was for the best and I should be grateful she's gone, but I also felt like people only heard my perspective and increasingly felt like I could have responded more compassionately instead of getting defensive and debating with her.
I'm embarrassed to say that I spent the next couple months trying and failing to reconcile with her. I would apologise, promise not to go to any more events without her, delivered flowers for her birthday, bring her gifts, etc. Every now and then she would initiate sex, but she would always insist that we weren't getting back together and that she would never ever change her mind because of "all the things I had done." She would also say that I was only trying to reconcile with her after she was already over it, even though I kept trying to repair and fix things while we were together? She would find little reasons to text (e.g. "where's that place you got the dumplings from?" or whatever) but otherwise seemed to have truly moved on and was happy with her decision.
Eventually it reached a point where I felt like I was crossing too many boundaries, and it also was not good for my mental health not to move on, so I made a concerted effort to let go and recover. No contact, even when she would send me random little texts. Logged out of her Netflix, deleted photos of us, started making plans with friends and focusing on myself. I matched with a few people on apps but nothing serious. While I was out of town with a friend, I happened to meet someone and we had amazing chemistry. We went out on a date but resolved not to move fast because we were both freshly out of recent relationships.
Well, she came to visit some friends last weekend and we saw each other again -- it was amazing, we definitely have a real connection and I don't know if it will go anywhere but it was nice to finally feel that with someone who wasn't my ex.
Almost as if she has a sixth sense, my ex began texting me at this time. At first it was just "want to grab lunch?" but then turned into a bunch of accusations about me probably being at lesbian parties or going through Instagram to find whether I was following any queer women and calling me a slut. I kept no contact, but she showed up at my house the following day. I made the HUGE mistake of telling her I had met/was seeing someone else, thinking she would be furious and leave me alone. Well, she did get furious... at first.
Now she's emailing me huge apologies and declarations of love and that she won't give up on me. Showing up at my house with flowers and following me to my dance class then following me home. Begging me to give her another chance and promising she won't break up with me again.
My friends say these are crocodile tears and she's only doing it because she doesn't want me to move on. But she's still in my head and I'm having a hard time being as harsh with her as I know I probably need to be. Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?
submitted by work_throwaway2019 to LesbianActually [link] [comments]
I'm embarrassed to say that I spent the next couple months trying and failing to reconcile with her. I would apologise, promise not to go to any more events without her, delivered flowers for her birthday, bring her gifts, etc. Every now and then she would initiate sex, but she would always insist that we weren't getting back together and that she would never ever change her mind because of "all the things I had done." She would also say that I was only trying to reconcile with her after she was already over it, even though I kept trying to repair and fix things while we were together? She would find little reasons to text (e.g. "where's that place you got the dumplings from?" or whatever) but otherwise seemed to have truly moved on and was happy with her decision.
Eventually it reached a point where I felt like I was crossing too many boundaries, and it also was not good for my mental health not to move on, so I made a concerted effort to let go and recover. No contact, even when she would send me random little texts. Logged out of her Netflix, deleted photos of us, started making plans with friends and focusing on myself. I matched with a few people on apps but nothing serious. While I was out of town with a friend, I happened to meet someone and we had amazing chemistry. We went out on a date but resolved not to move fast because we were both freshly out of recent relationships.
Well, she came to visit some friends last weekend and we saw each other again -- it was amazing, we definitely have a real connection and I don't know if it will go anywhere but it was nice to finally feel that with someone who wasn't my ex.
Almost as if she has a sixth sense, my ex began texting me at this time. At first it was just "want to grab lunch?" but then turned into a bunch of accusations about me probably being at lesbian parties or going through Instagram to find whether I was following any queer women and calling me a slut. I kept no contact, but she showed up at my house the following day. I made the HUGE mistake of telling her I had met/was seeing someone else, thinking she would be furious and leave me alone. Well, she did get furious... at first.
Now she's emailing me huge apologies and declarations of love and that she won't give up on me. Showing up at my house with flowers and following me to my dance class then following me home. Begging me to give her another chance and promising she won't break up with me again.
My friends say these are crocodile tears and she's only doing it because she doesn't want me to move on. But she's still in my head and I'm having a hard time being as harsh with her as I know I probably need to be. Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?
2024.05.17 01:50 ThrownawaybyBPD Those that think it wasn't as bad and maybe it would work.
Married for over 20 years. My time with her was like a cookie cutter version of so many stories but the part that plays with my head still is the type shifts and the length of time. The first few months, she pulled me in somehow when she wasn't really my type. She was very promiscuous, had the bad stories of every ex, cussed a lot, did drugs, ran away, fought people, and partied. Once I was about to dump her for writing notes to a coworker, she faked being pregnant to stop me from leaving and shifted to a quiet type for many years.
She became insanely manipulative but her other damaging traits vanished. She was no longer shouting at people, stopped doing drugs amd partying, and dressed a little more cozy. The manipulation was very cruel though. If I didn't pay enough attention when away for work, she would do stuff like call saying she fell down stairs while pregnant to get me on the phone for hours. The speed she turned off the tears always let me know it was another trick. There were some questionable instances of possible adultery but I was too far in and was afraid of divorce with children. No concrete proof but it was very questionable.
16 years in, she started resembling her teenage years but without the drugs. She started to cause issues with people, get angry out of nowhere but not directed at me yet, and her bad mouth started to return. I was concerned. Leading up to the final year, she stopped trusting her doctor, sounded paranoid, and started to say childhood trauma was bothering her. She even told me, she was too tired to put her mask back on. I didn't even know what BPD was until recently.
The last year was pure torturous hell with every kind of abuse, hallucinating, eating issues due to anxiety, very frequent self harm threats, hospitalization, BPD diagnosis, and so much more. It was like all the bad stories rolled into one. She just never stabbed me like she always threatened. It's why I started here a couple months ago. Why it took so long for this monster to come out is that one question that the answer is hard to accept because it's too simple. Multiple therapists and a psychologist and the answer always is...she's mentally ill.
After the destruction of our marriage and family, she was no longer too tired to wear her mask. If someone close didn't tell me things, you would think she's the happiest she's been in her whole life. I'll keep it to her impact on me for now. She brainwashed our kids, now adults, and that's a separate messed up situation.
submitted by ThrownawaybyBPD to BPDlovedones [link] [comments]
She became insanely manipulative but her other damaging traits vanished. She was no longer shouting at people, stopped doing drugs amd partying, and dressed a little more cozy. The manipulation was very cruel though. If I didn't pay enough attention when away for work, she would do stuff like call saying she fell down stairs while pregnant to get me on the phone for hours. The speed she turned off the tears always let me know it was another trick. There were some questionable instances of possible adultery but I was too far in and was afraid of divorce with children. No concrete proof but it was very questionable.
16 years in, she started resembling her teenage years but without the drugs. She started to cause issues with people, get angry out of nowhere but not directed at me yet, and her bad mouth started to return. I was concerned. Leading up to the final year, she stopped trusting her doctor, sounded paranoid, and started to say childhood trauma was bothering her. She even told me, she was too tired to put her mask back on. I didn't even know what BPD was until recently.
The last year was pure torturous hell with every kind of abuse, hallucinating, eating issues due to anxiety, very frequent self harm threats, hospitalization, BPD diagnosis, and so much more. It was like all the bad stories rolled into one. She just never stabbed me like she always threatened. It's why I started here a couple months ago. Why it took so long for this monster to come out is that one question that the answer is hard to accept because it's too simple. Multiple therapists and a psychologist and the answer always is...she's mentally ill.
After the destruction of our marriage and family, she was no longer too tired to wear her mask. If someone close didn't tell me things, you would think she's the happiest she's been in her whole life. I'll keep it to her impact on me for now. She brainwashed our kids, now adults, and that's a separate messed up situation.