I bow before the glorious and sublime guru.
Child of a good father,
All worldly endeavors, focused, as they are, upon this life alone, have no essence whatsoever. It is beyond the slightest doubt that the guru – embodiment of the three rare and sublime ones – and especially the transcendent dharma are the absolute refuge and source of your well-being. Understand that this realization is the divide between continually transmigrating within saṃsāra and liberation.
Now let’s see if you are up to much. A good child would give up distraction, disregard confusion, and extract the essence of leisure and fortune. To do this you must reflect upon impermanence….
Child of good lineage, some listen to this and some to that, what is spoken here and what is said there; some look at the ways of birth, illness, ageing and death; some act to accumulate wealth; others build homes; while some are given to study and contemplation, others train in the approaching and accomplishing practices of secret mantra in retreat. Nevertheless, of all of these, those who go on to achieve the ultimate are very few and far between.
Some ponder sickness, mortality, etc., and some do not, but all have to go through the pain such experiences bring – and that includes you! To fully realize that you could die at any moment is to have developed confidence in the contemplation upon impermanence.
Continually counsel yourself and in each and every moment to look at and cleanse your mind. Don’t give in to distraction or fall under the influence of confusion, but rather, with the awakened ones and their offspring as your witnesses, practice with ardent endeavor.
Generally speaking there isn’t a single teaching of the Buddha that is inadequate, woeful, or fruitless; and the main import of them all is to embrace each and every thought mindfully.
There is no need to alter your mind, simply sustain a mindfulness of your thoughts that looks directly into their very essence. Through this a powerful and clear awareness, unalterable by anything, will be revealed.
Essentially then, when distracted thoughts arise, they are called mind. When free of such distractions your innate awareness cannot be influenced by anything, be it positive and beneficial or negative and harmful.
When thought, confused or otherwise, arises, don’t see it as a failure or fault; simply relax into its nature. With familiarity, awareness will come to be thoroughly distinguished from mind, with the former stabilized and latter liberated.
From time to time it is important to supplicate your guru, receive empowerment, and mix your mind with his or hers.
Similarly, should you practice deity yoga and mantra recitation, do so from within awareness. Awareness stripped bare will sever the head of self-grasping and selfish endeavor.
Shout "Phaṭ", practice yogic exercises, dream, and, during the day, meditate upon your illusory body within the sustained continuity of awareness. For this practice your environment makes no difference.
Sure signs of genuine practice are an increase in renunciation and compassion. Please keep this in mind.
Without moving or being distracted from this natural state of awareness, and with the attitude of bodhicitta, be diligent in making vast prayers of dedication; practice the seven-branch offering to accumulate merit; and meditate upon Vajrasattva, reciting the hundred-syllable mantra. As we have been carried along by a subtle undercurrent of thoughts over successive lifetimes and have accumulated karma thereby, it is imperative to confess all faults and to pledge to refrain from them in the future. These and other such practices are essential.
Requested by the ardent practitioner, Atsang, I, the confused old beggar Gangshar, gave rise to a cascade of concepts and wrote this, much like an old dog vomiting up golden instructions.
https://www.lotsawahouse.org/tibetan-masters/khenpo-gangshavomiting-gold

Settlement trial is coming up soon, ex is trying to settle out of court. I made a reasonable offer (basically 50/50 across the board including custody). Kids are 7yo and younger.
One facet of the offer is that we would each pay for 1/3 of each child's undergrad college education. This way the parents pay 2/3 but the child is still motivated to pay some.
In my ex's counter offer, they amended the college part to say 'parents will each pay for 1/3 of each child's undergrad college education at 'insert state college here'.
They want the settlement to include paying for a specific college. The oldest kid is in 1st grade. I told my attorney I would never agree to that, and there's absolutely no reason to declare a school at this point.
Am I right in thinking this is a bizarre thing to ask for and definitely something to say no to? It's not even that great of a school, and what if the kids want to go somewhere else?

Writing this during my break and im kinda scared. These 3 guys came in and tried to load cash app card. They inserted their card and so I pressed f3. But then they told me that the card was different and that they're not from here. That I had to put in the total and then press enter. The fact that they didnt say f1 but enter confused me too. I now realise its the same thing. I was very hesinant and suspicious. But after they showed me the pin pad screen which said processing idk I started to belive them a little more. And then they also showed me the back of the card that said I Had to process the card as cash, so I did........ I was really confused and just wanted to go get my manager but I'm also slow and a complete push over. And now I'm really scared. They put 500 on that 1st one and then.. went on to get visa prepaid cards and "cashback" in the same manner. Um. I now realize it was 100% scam and regret it. one thing that made me feel like it was maybe not a scam was that at the end, the transaction got declined. Now... was that because they had made too many pre paid cards in a row or was it that the card they were using got declined.i don't know but I'm scared to death that my till is going to be short. Either way Someone got scammed because they left right after I told them it got declined. I know I should have trusted myself and gone to get my manager. It's my fault entirely. What should I do? I need this job up until I leave for college god knows it's going to be expensive. Yes it could technically get another job but that would be very inconvenient for me considering this one is pretty close to where I live and I sometimes have to walk here.

Writing this during my break and im kinda scared. These 3 guys came in and tried to load cash app card. They inserted their card and so I pressed f3. But then they told me that the card was different that it was a cash card? and that they're not from here. That I had to put in the total and then press enter. The fact that they didnt say f1 but enter confused me too. I now realise its the same thing. I was very hesinant and suspicious. But after they showed me the pin pad screen which said processing idk I started to belive them a little more. And then they also showed me the back of the card that said I Had to process the card as cash, so I did........ I was really confused and just wanted to go get my manager but I'm also slow and a complete push over. And now I'm really scared. They put 500 on that 1st one and then.. went on to get visa prepaid cards and "cashback" in the same manner. Um. I now realize it was 100% scam and regret it. one thing that made me feel like it was maybe not a scam was that at the end, the transaction got declined. Now... was that because they had made too many pre paid cards in a row or was it that the card they were using got declined.i don't know but I'm scared to death that my till is going to be short. Either way Someone got scammed because they left right after I told them it got declined. I know I should have trusted myself and gone to get my manager. It's my fault entirely. What should I do? I need this job up until I leave for college god knows it's going to be expensive. Yes it could technically get another job but that would be very inconvenient for me considering this one is pretty close to where I live and I sometimes have to walk here.

Last night I had a nightmare where I had to confront The Judge.
I was resting my back up against the wall of a house I’ve never been in, not too unusual for me since I dream about being back in my childhood homes every now and then. It was nothing big, just one story with rooms only differentiated one from the other by columns and low walls, and it was nothing dazzling either, being left undecorated with the typical white and tan paints.
I was situated adjacent to the small kitchen, which could only barely fit two people in it, placed on my left with my gaze fixed towards the living room in front of me. Save for the soft, dim light coming from somewhere deep in the kitchen everything was pitch black though it seemed I had been there for a while as my eyes had adjusted to the moonlight. The scene would then go on to flicker between that place and a small clearing deep into a densely wooded forest, where my back instead laid pressed against a big wooden log with light emanating from a dying fire, again on my left, for the rest of that nightmare.
I still don’t know where I was but I felt that the things I’d seen and the things I’d done to get to that far were wearing down on me hard, the weight on my shoulders too great to allow me to pick myself up even if I didn’t lay there with bullet wounds piercing through my stomach. I wasn’t afraid, not like a coward shaking in fear for he had never been so far from home before, no the things I had been through were far too great for this to disturb me, but, from the bottom of my gut I felt the emptiness of pure dread; for even at the beginning of all of this I did not sit there dying alone but I sat with my arms wrapped around the child covered in a blanket who I clutched against my chest because I knew who was coming. The child was not mine but it was the son of one man in my caravan and I knew how much he loved his son and saw him die in the same way I was to. I reckon I was in the same place as The Kid and The Priest when they fought for their chance to live only I was before all of that and I was not walking away from here.
Then there he was.
The Judge.
I saw his albino face appear from darkness as his grotesque, wide white-teethed smile rest curled up on his face and his soulless eyes gazed into mine prompting me to hold the child even closer. I felt the unyielding fear of a man then, having to look into the eyes of the wild beast that brought death upon him and yet despite my terror I was made to shove it deep inside me for the sake of the child I was holding and I glared back at him and said,
“I know who you are Judge. You may have fooled the others but you could never have fooled me. You are everything which is unholy, you are the incarnation of everything which is evil, you…you are Satan, The Devil, and I will not let you take this child”
and when I did his smile grew wider as if to finally admit to that which I said as he now started creeping forward, his unnatural nude figure growing ever more visible in my trembling eyes while the cannon he gripped in one hand dragging behind him began to point in my direction and his right hand reached out for the child as I completely embraced it shutting my eyes but promising not to let go and then I woke up and I was Jeffery Epstein!?!? 😱😱

Hello,
I've never posted about this kind of stuff, but I've never experienced such a persistent nagging pain
My ex and I had a very turbulent 7 year relationship, I initially met her months after healing from another long term relationship, about 25 years, and that ended amicably, and to this day I see her as a friend.
The beginning of our relationship was amazing, it was very sexually charged, she was into everything and anything I did, she was sweet, comforting, a great listener, the times we had were almost euphoric. Even during this phase of the relationship, I acknowledged to myself that I have to take things slow as things are moving so fast.
About a month and a half into "dating" she got pregnant, and I told her I will be there for you, and I'll never run away from being a Father, ever! Immediately everything changed, and of course I understand why and empathize with how she may have felt suddenly being pregnant, and I genuinely cared and made myself available at all times. We only lived a building apart, we were basically doors down from each other.
Immediately she wanted to get a place together, I let her know that she could stay with me anytime, give it a trial run, but we still need to get know each other, as I just got over a 25 year relationship. She started staying with me on and off and I began seeing a complete different side of her, she would storm out of my place and take issue with little things like clothes on the floor, or an unmade bed, I mean over the top anger.
Still throughout this period I began falling in love with her, and falling in love with my unborn child. During this period I started discovering a pattern of lies, some just white lies, some extremely severe, lies that had the potential to affect any sort of positive outcome as they entailed criminal behavior. When confronted with the worst ones I was assured she would stop.
Skip ahead to the birth, I was with her, we were both content, a happy beautiful healthy daughter came from the womb. I was in love, both with my child, as well as the Mother. We were inseparable for awhile, then she became extremely controlling, even vicious at times. My time with my daughter was often relegated to when the Mother was asleep, I would let her sleep when my daughter woke up in the night and bond with her then.
One day she got extremely upset with me as I wanted to bring my daughter and her to a family event, she had an issue with a family member of mine, this turned into a CRAZY argument, that ended up with me being denied seeing my child for over 12 days. I ended up going to the courthouse to file papers that would give me the legal right to see my daughter, regardless of the status of my relationship with the Mother.
I never served those papers, as my daughter had gotten sick, and we both met at her pediatrician appointment, everything melted away and we were together again, she became loving again, we shared bringing up our child, but I began to lose touch with all my family, including my friends, anything I would do or plan to do would cause an insane amount of friction.
Through this time we did our best to be close, but the lies never stopped, and I completely began to lose my sense of self. There were times when my daughter would be completely weaponized, used as a pawn to control me, I slowly began isolating myself from just about anyone but my daughter and the Mother. We would have an argument, could be anything, big or small, and instantly I'd be disregarded, no communication, no texts, no calls, no responses. Then we would get together and she would show me love and kindness, and I'd be hooked again. This on and off pattern lasted a good 6 years. I still struggle thinking about how dark some of those days were, and I've never strayed or abandoned my daughter. She's the light of my life, just has 2 parents that can't seem to live peacefully together.
Forward to now, just a few months ago we talked and decided it would be best to part and focus on co-parenting. The 1st month was great, we were cordial to each other during pick ups and drop offs, but we stopped both putting our child to bed together. If she had her I used to always go over and put her to bed, read books, bathe, etc and she would for the most part so the same when I have my daughter. We stopped that, as when my daughter did fall asleep that's when we would connect, quite often it was just sexual, looking back it was like giving a dog a bone, it was void of true intimacy, it was just enough to keep things balanced in an odd way, it became the only affection I came to know.
This entire time, regardless of our status, whenever we were with other people she was a gem, she always would bring gifts even if not necessary, always be extremely affectionate towards me, basically playing a part.
Here's an example, I got sick one evening, some sort of food poisoning, it got bad enough where I had to go to the hospital and be treated in a bed from early morning until evening. This happened to fall on a night we had planned a "date" night. She came to the hospital to pick me up, my parents were there and she was as sweet as you could imagine, as soon as I got discharged and we were driving home, now just the two of us, she flipped on me for ruining our date. She bought tickets to a show, and she was recklessly pissed off and as mean as one could imagine, and I was still sick, she ended up storming out of my place.
These kinds of situations became normal, and a nonstop cycle of on again/off again partners became the norm.
I'm getting long winded now, but I'll come back to the present. After about a month of just co-parenting and coming to terms with ending any sort of romantic relationship, and being cordial to one another, she started reminiscing about our past, sharing pictures of happy times with my daughter and us together, pictures of just her and I, messages of love, how she misses me, will always love me, all these things, and I opened the door again. This was days before she was leaving for a "yoga retreat" and I would have my daughter. Needless to say, those 4 days there was no more communication, not even with my daughter. The 1st communication on a Sunday morning was about being together again, and sentiments of love.
This has since happened 2 more times, always surrounded by secrecy, even if it directly affects my daughter, which unfortunately it has. Come to find out she was never away, "out of town" she was just down the road at an Airbnb with some guy that fly's in from out of state, she told me all this and actually said how much I would like him, and that this guy would love to meet me, and at the same time maintaining how much she still loves me. Just whacky, not even months after ending any romantic partnership.
This coming week my daughter and her are taking their first "vacation" without me involved. I was completely fine with this, expressing how I first had some mixed feelings, because my daughter has never really traveled without me and her Mother together. Then I came to terms with it and even started suggesting places to show her, a beach to check out, dolphins in these waters, manatees here etc. The guy she's been seeing at random airbnbs lives in the state they are flying too.
It's just thrown me for such a loop. I haven't truly trusted her for a while for good reasons, lots of lies, and complete disregard for any prior planned commitments, but this just feels out of the park, and has me feeling like an emotional train wrecked weakling. Yesterday I responded to an email saying "I just need to process some of this stuff and not communicate unless it has to do with our daughter", the response was crazy, completely shitting on me as a person on how much I've wronged her and how I never cared for her and all this stuff. My reply was you are right, I'm sorry, I've been having trouble letting go, but I'm now ready too, let's focus on being the best we can be for our daughter.
Instant reply of what a great father I am, how I've always been there, how much my daughter loves me and counts down the days to when I have her. How sorry she is that she treated me poorly, etc. It's all just nuts, and I can't simply not communicate, and I'm so confused as to why I'm feeling so hurt by all this stuff while I recognize the healthiest thing I can do for myself is truly let go. I have so many mixed emotions I can't even think about dating, or even chilling with someone new. I'm all over the place, mainly sad, it's so confusing. So many mixed signals, and I think my esteem has been shattered for awhile now.
Only with my daughter do I feel myself, she brings the best out in me, she always has, she's like sunshine on a rainy day, she's the best!
Apologies for such a long winded post, may not even make clear sense, just let my "swipe" keyboard go nuts for a bit
Hope you are all well!

This vault will be populated by 125 heterosexual couples from across the nation. They are a random mix of socioeconomic, ethnic, racial and cultural identities with one thing in common: strong personal anti-natalist beliefs. All of these couples are recruited into the vault under the premise that they will be given Tot-X implants, which are permanent, unisex birth control implants. They are told they are a terminal society, with the lifespan of their mission expected to run 35 years before they’re “retired.” The supposed premise for the vault is to maintain servers and systems that serve multiple vaults, but beyond that, residents are sold a life of adults-only childfree leisure. These servers are mostly walled off behind blast doors and require very little work, so most time is free to enjoy a supply of drugs, alcohol, and other hedonistic pursuits.
At 367 days in, the birth control implants obviously start to silently fail. Approximately four months later, when the first evidence of pregnancy becomes undeniable, the “server room” doors unseal to reveal the true Vault staff and overseer, comprised of 25 child development experts. Additionally, there are enough supplies to create a child-specific utopia and sustain the population for an additional 250 years.
Residents are informed that the true purpose of the experiment was to determine if childfree people could be converted into happy parents, as well as determining what kind of parents they would all be. Residents are informed that abortions, infanticide, and any crimes against children are punishable by death, without investigation. The Vault’s constitution is centered around the Children’s bill of rights, and all decisions are made with child welfare in mind. At age 19, children become adults and are expected to start catering to the needs of the vault’s children, as those before them did. The child development experts are the final governing authority, and responsible for choosing and training their replacements.
Vault 329’s fate:
First conception happened a mere 16 days after device failure, and the rate of conception in the vault was 70% in the first year. 15% of implants rendered subjects completely and totally infertile, something that had not happened in the medical trials. Vault tech elected to keep them in the vault anyways, as a form of control group.
In the first 6 months after failure, 14 women and 11 men committed suicide rather than continue on with the mission. 4 women delivered healthy infants and committed infanticide; they were executed as per Vault law. Five men accepted their fate as parents, but went on to kill an infertile couple in a fit of resentful, jealous rage. They were summarily executed as well.
After the initial wave of violence, citizens of fault 329 generally accepted their fate, although their mental states varied wildly as a result. Most became relatively competent parents who ended up loving and caring for their offspring.
The only other wave of violence of note was approximately 20 years after the initial birthdays. Children converting to adult status were found to have intense adjustment disorders from the rapid change in their status in the social hierarchy. Determined to maintain their position of control, a group of 20 year old citizens attacked the governing body’s residential wing with a plan to overthrow them in a coup. However, their own parents stepped in, too thoroughly invested in the experiment to start over with another purpose.
Unable to execute the first generation of children, the governing body elected to exile them instead. In March of 2191, they wandered into the wasteland and were almost immediately captured by Fiends, who extended their addictions to the vaults’ exiled citizens. Unable to contend with the wasteland, most of them died from overdose shortly after arriving.
Vault 329, having learned much from the experience, elected to change nothing, and insisted that “some kids are just bad we guess 🤷🏻‍♀️.”

It was hard to believe that Link could ever really die. Link, the iconic hero of the Legend of Zelda series, is distinguished not just by his bravery but by his seemingly perpetual resilience, which stems from his possession of the Triforce of Courage. This sacred artifact, imbued with the essence of the goddess Farore, grants Link more than just bravery—it provides him with a supernatural safeguard against death. Throughout each of his adventures, whether he faces the dark magic of Ganon or the bewildering trials of alternate dimensions, the Triforce of Courage acts as a bastion of protection. It ensures that Link can withstand mortal dangers that would overwhelm others, allowing him to continue fighting and striving to restore balance to the realms he cherishes. This divine protection is a cornerstone of his character, symbolizing that as long as he bears the Triforce of Courage, Link will always rise to meet any challenge, undeterred by the specter of defeat or demise.
So with that understood, how do we explain the downfall timeline? Well I think I've got an answer.
The Triforce of Courage grants the bearer the courage to face overwhelming odds and protects them from losing their essence or being overwhelmed by external evils. In the Zelda series, this Triforce piece often manifests its power by aiding Link in overcoming supernatural threats and challenges that would otherwise be insurmountable.
After the events of Ocarina of Time, There are two separate timelines created, one with Link, and one without link. The timeline with Link is the child timeline, where young link returns to Kokiri Forest to seek out his friend Navi. What happens next is undetermined, until now...
Once there, Link gets lost, but not just lost, lost without a fairy. In the lore of Ocarina of Time, those who get lost in the Lost Woods without a fairy companion are said to become Skull Kids. However, Link, even after returning to his childhood and losing Navi, carries the Triforce of Courage. This artifact's essence not only embodies bravery but also fundamentally protects the wielder’s spirit from corruption and transformation. Essentially, the Triforce of Courage acts as a shield, preserving Link's identity and purpose against the transformative magic of the Lost Woods.
Link's venture into the Lost Woods, safeguarded by the Triforce of Courage, sets off a remarkable event. Instead of succumbing to the fate of becoming a Skull Kid—a common destiny for those who lose their way in this enchanted forest—the Triforce of Courage interacts with the mystical energies that saturate the woods. The Lost Woods are not only a mysterious and ancient place but also the location of the Kokiri's Emerald, a sacred stone left by the goddess Farore. Farore is known for her power to create realms, as seen in Skyward Sword.
This unique interaction between the protective power of the Triforce of Courage and the realm-creating magic associated with Farore' s Emerald generates a rift or portal. This portal leads to the creation of a new timeline: a fantasy timeline beginning in Termina, an alternate dimension that mirrors and distorts the realities of Hyrule. This pivotal moment marks the divergence from the known paths of Hyrule's history into new, uncharted territories.
(This fantasy timeline explains why their are are fantasy characters' in these particular Zelda games. Like Mario characters in Link's awakening or Din in the oracle games. These characters are fantasies.)
Why Termina?
Termina can be seen as a physical manifestation of a trial created by the Triforce of Courage for Link to overcome. This world, laden with impending doom, peculiar inhabitants, and twisted versions of Hyrule’s characters, is essentially a crucible designed to test Link’s bravery and resolve. The challenges within Termina are direct reflections of the inner fears and the courage needed to confront them, perfectly aligning with the purpose of the Triforce of Courage—to push its bearer beyond their limits in the face of true adversity.
Majora’s Mask, with its dark themes and existential threats, serves as the ultimate test of courage for Link. The Triforce’s influence ensures that Link not only survives the journey but is also given a chance to grow and understand the depths of courage. It guides him subtly, ensuring that he stays true to his quest of not only saving Termina but also finding his lost friend, Navi.
At the end of Majora's Mask, Link has successfully navigated the trials of Termina, proving his courage and fortitude. With his mission in Termina complete, and his attempts to find Navi (his fairy companion from Ocarina of Time) unresolved, Link departs from the unknown realm. As Link continues his wandering in search of Navi, the Triforce of Courage leads him to Hytopia, thus bringing us to the next game in the fantasy timeline, Triforce heroes.
After the events in Tri Force Heroes, where Link and his two duplicates successfully lift the curse on Princess Styla, the magical bond that linked the three Links dissipates. This could be explained by the Triforce of Courage, having fulfilled its purpose in Hytopia, leading Link to new challenges where his heroic virtues are needed. With Hytopia’s immediate crisis resolved, Link sets out to explore new lands, possibly still in search of his original quest to locate Navi or driven by a restlessness instilled by his continuous heroic callings as he is still unaware of the fantasy timeline that he’s in.
The Triforce of Courage, still with Link, guides him to new lands with emerging threats. This mystical artifact, sensing disturbances in the balance of good and evil in distant realms, might lead Link to Holodrum and Labrynna. These lands, unlike Hytopia, face dire existential threats that require not just courage but the ability to adapt to changing environments and timelines, which are central themes in Oracle of Seasons and Oracle of Ages.
Link's Awakening occurs after Link’s heroic deeds in the Oracle series. In this narrative sequence, Link sets off on a personal journey to train and prepare for future threats. Still unaware that he's in a fantasy timeline. He travels by boat, seeking wisdom and strength to be better equipped as Hyrule’s guardian. This journey symbolizes a hero’s need to reflect and grow, a common theme in legends.
The central twist of Link’s Awakening is the realization that Koholint Island is a dream realm created by the Wind Fish. As Link gathers the instruments and prepares to awaken the Wind Fish, he faces a moral and existential dilemma: awakening the Wind Fish will erase the island and its inhabitants from existence. This challenge is a test of Link’s courage and wisdom, pushing him to understand the complexities of reality and illusion, a theme deeply embedded in his quest to overcome this fantasy timeline he’s created.
Upon awakening the Wind Fish, the island fades away, and Link finds himself adrift on the open sea on a piece of his shipwrecked boat. This conclusion represents a rebirth for Link, a literal and metaphorical awakening. He is left to reflect on the nature of his journey and the lessons learned about impermanence and the power of belief and dreams.
Unbeknownst to the people of Hyrule, Link has not died but has instead been transported to yet another dimension or time, continuing his adventures elsewhere or even struggling to find his way back to Hyrule. In this newly created timeline, however, his perceived death leads to the absence of a hero when Hyrule most needs one, resulting in the realm's downfall. The downfall timeline.

Conclusion:

This version of the downfall timeline is rich with the fantasy and magic central to The Legend of Zelda series. It hinges on a magical misinterpretation: the sight of Link vanishing into a rift created by the clash between the Triforce of Courage and the ancient magics of the Lost Woods. This event, seen as his death, marks the tragic beginning of the downfall timeline, setting the stage for a darker chapter in Hyrule's history where the hero is believed lost forever.

Just like the title states, I hate my partner. I’ve tried to leave several times, tried to evict him, tried to get an injunction, all denied. I’ve made it clear I don’t want to be with him. He’s done nothing but cause problems in my life, he’s been a mooch for 3 years now almost. When I’ve kicked him out he’s broken a window to get back in, the cops told me he had a right to since he was technically a resident. He’s never helped me pay any bills, I solely pay for everything. He just takes and takes. When I’ve said I don’t want to be with him he’s put a gun to his head and threatened to kill himself, to the point I’ve had to wrestle with him. The cops and courts are useless where I live. He doesn’t clean, his dog isn’t trained and destroyed my house. He has no money because he blows through it all, is in debt and won’t do shit to get out of it b
He got me pregnant and the best decision I’ve ever made was getting an abortion. I don’t feel even the tiniest bit of guilt about it. Of course he doesn’t know it was an abortion because of where we live but it was. It came out in tact and the only sadness I feel is I hope it wasn’t in pain, I wanted to bury it or cremate it and we took it to a funeral home and this fucking loser who mourned his child’s death so hard wouldn’t even go pick up the ashes, wouldn’t call them back, just gave them a dead fucking fetus and dipped. He does nothing for me. Nothing. He’s just a shitty person and I hate him. It’s to the point where I’ve tried everything to get rid of him and it hasn’t worked, I’ve straight up told him I don’t love him, I don’t even like him, that I wish he’d leave me alone. He won’t. He’s fucking nuts and knows I’m his meal ticket.
I could spend the next 3 hours probably typing all the awful shit he’s done but I’m just tired of his shit and have no one to talk to. He sucks the life out of me, I’ve never been more miserable and one of exs used to actually beat the shit out of me and fucked my sister, and I hate this guy more.
That’s all, I fucking hate him. I don’t wish he’d die but I wish he’d disappear from my life.

Shooting myself in the foot first of all because I should know better than to walk into any vault at low level so imagine my surprise when I make it all the way to the end and my level 8 ass has to fight a Scorched in Power Armor. I died three times. 1st time, I challenged him with an upfront assault and quickly went from home invader to missing person. 2nd time, I blew all my stealth boys trying to take out his fusion core. It's fun being new, because nobody's really there to tell you these things don't work until you find out the hard way. My final stealth wore off and I received my test results, I'm 100% USDA Prime. My final death, let's just say user error. The upside is I now know how throwing grenades work. I return one final time and that's when I realize he never leaves his room so I position myself at the end of the hallway where his Gatling laser can't reach, and begin slowly hammering away at his ankles with my scoped .44 Revolver. It took just about 15 minutes for him to finally go down and I get jack shit for a reward. The only thing I'm truly upset about, I wanted that damn Power Armor. One hell of a learning experience, but maybe a minimum level pop up when entering certain zones.

Hi everyone,
My mom passed away last month and with me being so young I'm somewhat stumped at all of the hoops to jump through.
One of them is the CPP. I read that I can almost sign up for their CPP or something as her child? Is this true?
I read that her cpp contributions will be paid with interest to me? As well as the supplementary death benefit?
I assume because I'm over 25 that the survivor benefit isn't going to be for me though?
Any help is greatly appreciated in regards to what I'm eligible for.
Thank you

Everything in my inventory is up for trade. The most valuable items are listed here, the rest you can find in My Inventory

Feel free to Add Me or even better send a Trade Offer. Open for any suggestions: upgrades, downgrades / knives, gloves, skins / stickers, patterns, floats.

All Buyouts are listed in cash value.

KNIVES

★ Butterfly Knife Lore (Factory New), B/O: $7194.77

★ Butterfly Knife Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2025.74

⎯

★ M9 Bayonet Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $557.87

★ M9 Bayonet Stained (Well-Worn), B/O: $529.41

★ M9 Bayonet Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $465.39

⎯

★ Talon Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $1295.27

★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth (Minimal Wear), B/O: $746.28

★ Karambit Bright Water (Field-Tested), B/O: $688.15

⎯

★ Flip Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $547.93

★ Flip Knife Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $476.69

★ Flip Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $278.18

★ Flip Knife Black Laminate (Well-Worn), B/O: $258.83

★ Flip Knife Urban Masked (Field-Tested), B/O: $181.64

⎯

★ Stiletto Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $686.04

★ Stiletto Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $665.41

★ Stiletto Knife, B/O: $601.39

★ Stiletto Knife Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $418.25

★ Stiletto Knife Night Stripe (Field-Tested), B/O: $227.80

★ Stiletto Knife Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $194.96

★ Stiletto Knife Safari Mesh (Field-Tested), B/O: $192.79

⎯

★ Nomad Knife Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $518.11

★ Nomad Knife Scorched (Field-Tested), B/O: $169.78

★ Nomad Knife Forest DDPAT (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $166.88

★ StatTrak™ Nomad Knife Blue Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $335.79

⎯

★ Skeleton Knife Stained (Well-Worn), B/O: $442.05

★ Skeleton Knife Urban Masked (Minimal Wear), B/O: $426.24

★ Skeleton Knife Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $314.03

★ StatTrak™ Skeleton Knife Fade (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2361.28

★ StatTrak™ Skeleton Knife Urban Masked (Field-Tested), B/O: $376.53

⎯

★ Ursus Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $557.12

★ Ursus Knife, B/O: $471.42

★ Ursus Knife Blue Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $212.37

★ Ursus Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $187.66

★ Ursus Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $178.18

★ Ursus Knife Ultraviolet (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $155.13

★ Ursus Knife Boreal Forest (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $124.26

⎯

★ Huntsman Knife Black Laminate (Minimal Wear), B/O: $204.83

★ Huntsman Knife Black Laminate (Field-Tested), B/O: $184.50

★ StatTrak™ Huntsman Knife Lore (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $224.11

⎯

★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $2142.02

★ Bowie Knife, B/O: $230.44

★ Bowie Knife Damascus Steel (Factory New), B/O: $209.20

★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet (Minimal Wear), B/O: $180.51

★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $131.03

⎯

★ Falchion Knife Night (Field-Tested), B/O: $132.54

★ Falchion Knife Urban Masked (Well-Worn), B/O: $112.81

★ Falchion Knife Scorched (Field-Tested), B/O: $108.81

★ Falchion Knife Forest DDPAT (Field-Tested), B/O: $107.82

★ Falchion Knife Safari Mesh (Field-Tested), B/O: $107.46

★ StatTrak™ Falchion Knife Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $143.08

⎯

★ Paracord Knife Crimson Web (Minimal Wear), B/O: $486.48

★ Paracord Knife Blue Steel (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $163.12

⎯

★ Survival Knife Blue Steel (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $138.26

★ Survival Knife Night Stripe (Field-Tested), B/O: $131.03

⎯

★ Gut Knife Sapphire (Minimal Wear), B/O: $1127.79

★ Gut Knife Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $286.17

★ Gut Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $246.55

★ Gut Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $240.77

★ Gut Knife, B/O: $210.49

★ Gut Knife Lore (Field-Tested), B/O: $194.22

★ Gut Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $151.51

★ Gut Knife Blue Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $124.94

★ Gut Knife Rust Coat (Well-Worn), B/O: $118.99

★ Gut Knife Boreal Forest (Minimal Wear), B/O: $109.80

★ StatTrak™ Gut Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $237.96

⎯

★ Shadow Daggers Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $264.92

★ Shadow Daggers Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $253.03

★ Shadow Daggers Tiger Tooth (Factory New), B/O: $237.22

★ Shadow Daggers Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $153.40

★ Shadow Daggers Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $144.42

★ Shadow Daggers Blue Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $105.20

★ StatTrak™ Shadow Daggers Damascus Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $150.46

⎯

★ Navaja Knife Fade (Factory New), B/O: $365.99

★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $228.93

★ Navaja Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $227.43

★ Navaja Knife Slaughter (Factory New), B/O: $209.06

★ Navaja Knife, B/O: $203.16

★ Navaja Knife Case Hardened (Well-Worn), B/O: $132.57

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Factory New), B/O: $121.69

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $109.95

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $100.41

★ StatTrak™ Navaja Knife Fade (Factory New), B/O: $369.01

★ StatTrak™ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $109.95

GLOVES

★ Sport Gloves Amphibious (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2394.67

★ Sport Gloves Omega (Well-Worn), B/O: $572.33

★ Sport Gloves Bronze Morph (Minimal Wear), B/O: $338.88

★ Sport Gloves Big Game (Field-Tested), B/O: $323.66

⎯

★ Specialist Gloves Marble Fade (Minimal Wear), B/O: $1652.07

★ Specialist Gloves Tiger Strike (Field-Tested), B/O: $599.14

★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Web (Well-Worn), B/O: $231.57

★ Specialist Gloves Buckshot (Minimal Wear), B/O: $126.21

⎯

★ Moto Gloves POW! (Minimal Wear), B/O: $996.99

★ Moto Gloves POW! (Field-Tested), B/O: $383.31

★ Moto Gloves POW! (Well-Worn), B/O: $276.00

★ Moto Gloves Turtle (Field-Tested), B/O: $180.28

⎯

★ Hand Wraps CAUTION! (Minimal Wear), B/O: $502.29

★ Hand Wraps Giraffe (Minimal Wear), B/O: $180.73

★ Hand Wraps CAUTION! (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $178.32

⎯

★ Driver Gloves Queen Jaguar (Minimal Wear), B/O: $181.01

★ Driver Gloves Rezan the Red (Field-Tested), B/O: $101.66

⎯

★ Broken Fang Gloves Jade (Field-Tested), B/O: $127.88

★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point (Minimal Wear), B/O: $124.55

⎯

★ Bloodhound Gloves Guerrilla (Minimal Wear), B/O: $127.94

★ Hydra Gloves Case Hardened (Field-Tested), B/O: $102.55

WEAPONS

AK-47 X-Ray (Well-Worn), B/O: $478.95

AUG Hot Rod (Factory New), B/O: $425.83

StatTrak™ M4A1-S Hyper Beast (Factory New), B/O: $413.95

M4A4 Daybreak (Factory New), B/O: $309.51

StatTrak™ AK-47 Aquamarine Revenge (Factory New), B/O: $305.43

AK-47 Case Hardened (Well-Worn), B/O: $196.38

StatTrak™ M4A4 Temukau (Minimal Wear), B/O: $174.64

P90 Run and Hide (Field-Tested), B/O: $167.03

AWP Asiimov (Field-Tested), B/O: $153.33

Souvenir SSG 08 Death Strike (Minimal Wear), B/O: $140.00

M4A1-S Printstream (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $124.70

StatTrak™ M4A1-S Golden Coil (Field-Tested), B/O: $117.48

AWP Asiimov (Well-Worn), B/O: $115.97

StatTrak™ Desert Eagle Printstream (Minimal Wear), B/O: $112.96

StatTrak™ AK-47 Asiimov (Minimal Wear), B/O: $110.85

Souvenir M4A1-S Master Piece (Well-Worn), B/O: $102.42

AK-47 Bloodsport (Minimal Wear), B/O: $100.53

Trade Offer Link - Steam Profile Link - My Inventory

Knives - Bowie Knife, Butterfly Knife, Falchion Knife, Flip Knife, Gut Knife, Huntsman Knife, M9 Bayonet, Bayonet, Karambit, Shadow Daggers, Stiletto Knife, Ursus Knife, Navaja Knife, Talon Knife, Classic Knife, Paracord Knife, Survival Knife, Nomad Knife, Skeleton Knife, Patterns - Gamma Doppler, Doppler (Phase 1, Phase 2, Phase 3, Phase 4, Black Pearl, Sapphire, Ruby, Emerald), Crimson Web, Lore, Fade, Ultraviolet, Night, Marble Fade (Fire & Ice, Fake FI), Case Hardened (Blue Gem), Autotronic, Slaughter, Black Laminate, Tiger Tooth, Boreal Forest, Scorched, Blue Steel, Vanilla, Damascus Steel, Forest DDPAT, Urban Masked, Freehand, Stained, Bright Water, Safari Mesh, Rust Coat, Gloves - Bloodhound Gloves (Charred, Snakebite, Guerrilla, Bronzed), Driver Gloves (Snow Leopard, King Snake, Crimson Weave, Imperial Plaid, Black Tie, Lunar Weave, Diamondback, Rezan the Red, Overtake, Queen Jaguar, Convoy, Racing Green), Hand Wraps (Cobalt Skulls, CAUTION!, Overprint, Slaughter, Leather, Giraffe, Badlands, Spruce DDPAT, Arboreal, Constrictor, Desert Shamagh, Duct Tape), Moto Gloves (Spearmint, POW!, Cool Mint, Smoke Out, Finish Line, Polygon, Blood Pressure, Turtle, Boom!, Eclipse, 3rd Commando Company, Transport), Specialist Gloves (Crimson Kimono, Tiger Strike, Emerald Web, Field Agent, Marble Fade, Fade, Foundation, Lt. Commander, Crimson Web, Mogul, Forest DDPAT, Buckshot), Sport Gloves (Pandora's Box, Superconductor, Hedge Maze, Vice, Amphibious, Slingshot, Omega, Arid, Big Game, Nocts, Scarlet Shamagh, Bronze Morph), Hydra Gloves (Case Hardened, Emerald, Rattler, Mangrove), Broken Fang Gloves (Jade, Yellow-banded, Unhinged, Needle Point), Pistols - P2000 (Wicked Sick, Ocean Foam, Fire Element, Amber Fade, Corticera, Chainmail, Imperial Dragon, Obsidian, Scorpion, Handgun, Acid Etched), USP-S (Printstream, Kill Confirmed, Whiteout, Road Rash, Owergrowth, The Traitor, Neo-Noir, Dark Water, Orion, Blueprint, Stainless, Caiman, Serum, Monster Mashup, Royal Blue, Ancient Visions, Cortex, Orange Anolis, Ticket To Hell, Black Lotus, Cyrex, Check Engine, Guardian, Purple DDPAT, Torque, Blood Tiger, Flashback, Business Class, Pathfinder, Para Green), Lead Conduit, Glock-18 (Ramese's Reach, Umbral Rabbit, Fade, Candy Apple, Bullet Queen, Synth Leaf, Neo-Noir, Nuclear Garden, Dragon Tatto, Reactor, Pink DDPAT, Twilight Galaxy, Sand Dune, Groundwater, Blue Fissure, Snack Attack, Water Elemental, Brass, Wasteland Rebel, Vogue, Franklin, Royal Legion, Gamma Doppler, Weasel, Steel Disruption, Ironwork, Grinder, High Beam, Moonrise, Oxide Blaze, Bunsen Burner, Clear Polymer, Bunsen Burner, Night), P250 (Apep's Curse, Re.built, Nuclear Threat, Modern Hunter, Splash, Whiteout, Vino Primo, Mehndi, Asiimov, Visions, Undertow, Cartel, See Ya Later, Gunsmoke, Splash, Digital Architect, Muertos, Red Rock, Bengal Tiger, Crimson Kimono, Wingshot, Metallic DDPAT, Hive, Dark Filigree, Mint Kimono), Five-Seven (Neon Kimono, Berries And Cherries, Fall Hazard, Crimson Blossom, Hyper Beast, Nitro, Fairy Tale, Case Hardened, Copper Galaxy, Angry Mob, Monkey Business, Fowl Play, Anodized Gunmetal, Hot Shot, Retrobution, Boost Protocol), CZ75-Auto (Chalice, Crimson Web, Emerald Quartz, The Fuschia is Now, Nitro, Xiangliu, Yellow Jacket, Victoria, Poison Dart, Syndicate, Eco, Hexane, Pole, Tigris), Tec-9 (Mummy's Rot, Rebel, Terrace, Nuclear Threat, Hades, Rust Leaf, Decimator, Blast From, Orange Murano, Toxic, Fuel Injector, Remote Control, Bamboo Forest, Isaac, Avalanche, Brother, Re-Entry, Blue Titanium, Bamboozle), R8 Revolver (Banana Cannon, Fade, Blaze, Crimson Web, Liama Cannon, Crazy 8, Reboot, Canal Spray, Night, Amber Fade), Desert Eagle (Blaze, Hand Cannon, Fennec Fox, Sunset Storm, Emerald Jörmungandr, Pilot, Hypnotic, Golden Koi, Printstream, Cobalt Disruption, Code Red, Ocean Drive, Midnight Storm, Kumicho Dragon, Crimson Web, Heirloom, Night Heist, Mecha Industries, Night, Conspiracy, Trigger Discipline, Naga, Directive, Light Rail), Dual Berettas (Flora Carnivora, Duelist, Cobra Strike, Black Limba, Emerald, Hemoglobin, Twin Turbo, Marina, Melondrama, Pyre, Retribution, Briar, Dezastre, Royal Consorts, Urban Shock, Dualing Dragons, Panther, Balance), Rifles - Galil (Aqua Terrace, Winter Forest, Chatterbox, Sugar Rush, Pheonix Blacklight, CAUTION!, Orange DDPAT, Cerberus, Dusk Ruins, Eco, Chromatic Aberration, Stone Cold, Tuxedo, Sandstorm, Shattered, Urban Rubble, Rocket Pop, Kami, Crimson Tsunami, Connexion), SCAR-20 (Fragments, Brass, Cyrex, Palm, Splash Jam, Cardiac, Emerald, Crimson Web, Magna Carta, Stone Mosaico, Bloodsport, Enforcer), AWP (Black Nile, Duality, Gungnir, Dragon Lore, Prince, Medusa, Desert Hydra, Fade, Lightning Strike, Oni Taiji, Silk Tiger, Graphite, Chromatic Aberration, Asiimov, Snake Camo, Boom, Containment Breach, Wildfire, Redline, Electric Hive, Hyper Beast, Neo-Noir, Man-o'-war, Pink DDPAT, Corticera, Sun in Leo, Elite Build, Fever Dream, Atheris, Mortis, PAW, Exoskeleton, Worm God, POP AWP, Phobos, Acheron, Pit Viper, Capillary, Safari Mesh), AK-47 (Steel Delta, Head Shot, Wild Lotus, Gold Arabesque, X-Ray, Fire Serpent, Hydroponic, Panthera Onca, Case Hardened, Vulcan, Jet Set, Fuel Injector, Bloodsport, Nightwish, First Class, Neon Rider, Asiimov, Red Laminate, Aquamarine Revenge, The Empress, Wasteland Rebel, Jaguar, Black Laminate, Leet Museo, Neon Revolution, Redline, Frontside Misty, Predator, Legion of Anubis, Point Disarray, Orbit Mk01, Blue Laminate, Green Laminate, Emerald Pinstripe, Cartel, Phantom Disruptor, Jungle Spray, Safety Net, Rat Rod, Baroque Purple, Slate, Elite Build, Uncharted, Safari Mesh), FAMAS (Waters of Nephthys, Sundown, Prime Conspiracy, Afterimage, Commemoration, Dark Water, Spitfire, Pulse, Eye of Athena, Meltdown, Rapid Eye Move, Roll Cage, Styx, Mecha Industrie, Djinn, ZX Spectron, Valence, Neural Net, Night Borre, Hexne), M4A4 (Eye of Horus, Temukau, Howl, Poseidon, Asiimov, Daybreak, Hellfire, Zirka, Red DDPAT, Radiation Hazard, Modern Hunter, The Emperor, The Coalition, Bullet Rain, Cyber Security, X-Ray, Dark Blossom, Buzz Kill, In Living Color, Neo-Noir, Desolate Space, 龍王 (Dragon King), Royal Paladin, The Battlestar, Global Offensive, Tooth Fairy, Desert-Strike, Griffin, Evil Daimyo, Spider Lily, Converter), M4A1-S (Emphorosaur-S, Welcome to the Jungle, Imminent Danger, Knight, Hot Rod, Icarus Fell, Blue Phosphor, Printstream, Master Piece, Dark Water, Golden Coil, Bright Water, Player Two, Atomic Alloy, Guardian, Chantico's Fire, Hyper Beast, Mecha Industries, Cyrex, Control Panel, Moss Quartz, Nightmare, Decimator, Leaded Glass, Basilisk, Blood Tiger, Briefing, Night Terror, Nitro, VariCamo, Flashback), SG 553 (Cyberforce, Hazard Pay, Bulldozer, Integrale, Dragon Tech, Ultraviolet, Colony IV, Hypnotic, Cyrex, Candy Apple, Barricade, Pulse), SSG 08 (Death Strike, Sea Calico, Blood in the Water, Orange Filigree, Dragonfire, Big Iron, Bloodshot, Detour, Turbo Peek, Red Stone), AUG (Akihabara Accept, Flame Jörmungandr, Hot Rod, Midnight Lily, Sand Storm, Carved Jade, Wings, Anodized Navy, Death by Puppy, Torque, Bengal Tiger, Chameleon, Fleet Flock, Random Access, Momentum, Syd Mead, Stymphalian, Arctic Wolf, Aristocrat, Navy Murano), G3SG1 (Chronos, Violet Murano, Flux, Demeter, Orange Kimono, The Executioner, Green Apple, Arctic Polar Camo, Contractor), SMGs - P90 (ScaraB Rush, Neoqueen, Astral Jörmungandr, Run and Hide, Emerald Dragon, Cold Blooded, Death by Kitty, Baroque Red, Vent Rush, Blind Spot, Asiimov, Trigon, Sunset Lily, Death Grip, Leather, Nostalgia, Fallout Warning, Tiger Pit, Schermatic, Virus, Shapewood, Glacier Mesh, Shallow Grave, Chopper, Desert Warfare), MAC-10 (Sakkaku, Hot Snakes, Copper Borre, Red Filigree, Gold Brick, Graven, Case Hardened, Stalker, Amber Fade, Neon Rider, Tatter, Curse, Propaganda, Nuclear Garden, Disco Tech, Toybox, Heat, Indigo), UMP-45 (Wild Child, Fade, Blaze, Day Lily, Minotaur's Labyrinth, Crime Scene, Caramel, Bone Pile, Momentum, Primal Saber), MP7 (Teal Blossom, Fade, Nemesis, Whiteout, Asterion, Bloosport, Abyssal Apparition, Full Stop, Special Delivery, Neon Ply, Asterion, Ocean Foam, Powercore, Scorched, Impire), PP-Bizon (Modern Hunter, Rust Coat, Forest Leaves, Antique, High Roller, Blue Streak, Seabird, Judgement of Anubis, Bamboo Print, Embargo, Chemical Green, Coblat Halftone, Fuel Rod, Photic Zone, Irradiated Alert, Carbon Fiber), MP9 (Featherweight, Wild Lily, Pandora's Box, Stained Glass, Bulldozer, Dark Age, Hot Rod, Hypnotic, Hydra, Rose Iron, Music Box, Setting Sun, Food Chain, Airlock, Mount Fuji, Starlight Protector, Ruby Poison Dart, Deadly Poison), MP5-SD (Liquidation, Oxide Oasis, Phosphor, Nitro, Agent, Autumn Twilly), Shotguns, Machineguns - Sawed-Off (Kiss♥Love, First Class, Orange DDPAT, Rust Coat, The Kraken, Devourer, Mosaico, Wasteland Princess, Bamboo Shadow, Copper, Serenity, Limelight, Apocalypto), XM1014 (Frost Borre, Ancient Lore, Red Leather, Elegant Vines, Banana Leaf, Jungle, Urban Perforated, Grassland, Blaze Orange, Heaven Guard, VariCamo Blue, Entombed, XOXO, Seasons, Tranquility, Bone Machine, Incinegator, Teclu Burner, Black Tie, Zombie Offensive, Watchdog), Nova (Sobek's Bite, Baroque Orange, Hyper Beast, Green Apple, Antique, Modern Hunter, Walnut, Forest Leaves, Graphite, Blaze Orange, Rising Skull, Tempest, Bloomstick, Interlock, Quick Sand, Moon in Libra, Clean Polymer, Red Quartz, Toy Soldier), MAG-7 (Copper Coated, Insomnia, Cinqueda, Counter Terrace, Prism Terrace, Memento, Chainmail, Hazard, Justice, Bulldozer, Silver, Core Breach, Firestarter, Praetorian, Heat, Hard Water, Monster Call, BI83 Spectrum, SWAG-7), M249 (Humidor, Shipping Forecast, Blizzard Marbleized, Downtown, Jungle DDPAT, Nebula Crusader, Impact Drill, Emerald Poison Dart), Negev (Mjölnir, Anodized Navy, Palm, Power Loader, Bratatat, CaliCamo, Phoenix Stencil, Infrastructure, Boroque Sand), Wear - Factory New (FN), Minimal Wear (MW), Field-Tested (FT), Well-Worn (WW), Battle-Scarred (BS), Stickers Holo/Foil/Gold - Katowice 2014, Krakow 2017, Howling Dawn, Katowice 2015, Crown, London 2018, Cologne 2014, Boston 2018, Atlanta 2017, Cluj-Napoca 2015, DreamHack 2014, King on the Field, Harp of War, Winged Difuser, Cologne 2016, Cologne 2015, MLG Columbus 2016, Katowice 2019, Berlin 2019, RMR 2020, Stockholm 2021, Antwerp 2022, Paris 2023, Swag Foil, Flammable foil, Others - Souvenirs, Agents, Pins, Passes, Gifts, Music Kits, Cases, Keys, Capsules, Packages, Patches

Some items on the list may no longer be available or are still locked, visit My Inventory for more details.

Send a Trade Offer for fastest response. I consider all offers.

Add me for discuss if there is a serious offer that needs to be discussed.

●Movies Anywhere●
•(Bundles)•
•Alfred Hitchcock Classics Collection Volume 1 (4k) (4 Movie) (One Code)
1: The Birds (4K)
2: Psycho (4K)
3: Rear Window (4K)
4: Vertigo (4K)
•Best of the 2000's 10 Film Collection (4K/HD) (One Code)
1: A.I.: Artificial Intelligence (HD) (10-Film)
2: Best in Show (HD) (10-Film)
3: The Departed (4K) (10-Film)
4: A History of Violence (HD) (10-Film)
5: The Hangover (4K) (10-Film)
6: I Am Legend (4K) (10-Film)
7: Letters From Iwo Jima (HD) (10-Film)
8: Mystic River (HD) (10-Film)
9: Ocean's Eleven (HD) (10-Film)
10: Pan's Labyrinth (4K) (10-Film)
•Halloween Trilogy (4k) (One Code)
1: Halloween (2018) (4K)
3: Halloween Ends (4K)
2: Halloween Kills (4K)
•High On Your Watch List 8-Film Collection (HD) (MA) (One Code)
1: Due Date (HD) (8-Film)
2: Friday (HD) (8-Film)
3: Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle (HD) (MA) (8-Film)
4: House Party (HD) (MA) (8-Film)
5: Inherent Vice (HD) (MA) (8-Film)
6: Project X (HD) (MA) (8-Film)
7: Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny (HD) (MA) (8-Film)
8: We're the Millers (HD) (MA) (8-Film)
•Men in Black Trilogy (4k) (One Code)
1: Men in Black (4K)
2: Men in Black 2 (4K)
3: Men In Black 3 (4K)
•Meryl Streep 8-film Collection (4K/HD) (MA) (One Code)
1: Death Becomes Her (HD) (8-Film)
2: It's Complicated (HD) (8-Film)
3: Mama Mia!: The Movie (4K) (8-Film)
4: Mama Mia!: Here We Go Again (4K) (8-Film)
5: One True thing (HD) (8-Film)
6: Out of Africa (HD) (8-Film)
7: Prime (HD) (8-Film)
8: The River Wild (HD) (8-Film)
•(4K)•
1917 (4K)
2 Guns (4K)
Abominable (4K)
The Abyss (4K)
Aliens (4K)
Ambulance (4K)
American Gangster (Extended Edition) (4k)
Annie (4K)
Ant-Man and the Wasp Quantumania (4K)
As Good As It Gets (4K)
Avatar: The Way of Water (4k)
Avatar: The Way of Water (Collector's Edition) (4k)
Avengers (4K)
Backdraft (4k)
Battleship (4K)
The Batman (4k)
Big Hero 6 (4K) (MA Split)
The Big Lebowski (4K)
Black Hawk Down (Theatrical & Extended) (4K)
Black Panther Wakanda Forever (4k) (MA Split)
Black Widow (4k) (MA Split)
Bloodshot (4K)
The Blues Brothers (4K) (Theatrical & Unrated)
Bullet Train (4k)
Cinderella (4K) (MA Split)
A Christmas Story (4k)
Cliffhanger (4k)
Concussion (4K)
Cruella (4K)
The Dark Crystal (4k)
District 9 (4K)
Do the Right Thing (4K)
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (4K)
Doom (4K)
Dr. Strangelove (4k)
Encanto (4K)
Enter the Dragon (4k)
Eternals (4K)
Evil Dead Rise (4k)
The Exorcist (4k) (Theatrical & Extended)
The Exorcist: Believer (4K)
The Fabelmans (4k)
The Fast and the Furious (4k)
Fast X (4k)
Field of Dreams (4k)
The Forever Purge (4K)
Free Guy (4k)
From Here to Eternity (4k)
Fury (4k)
Get Out (4K)
Glass (4K)
Godzilla (1998) (4K)
Gran Turismo (4K)
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (4K)
Guess Who's Coming to Dinner (4K)
The Guns of Navarone (4k)
Heat (4k)
Heavy Metal (4K)
Hellboy (2004) (4k)
Hellboy 2: The Golden Army (4K)
His Girl Friday (4K)
Hobbs and Shaw (4k)
Hocus Pocus 4k (MA Split)
Invisible Man (4k)
It Happened One Night 4k
Jaws (4k)
Jaws 2 (4k)
Jumanji (1995) (4k)
Jurassic World Dominion (4K)
Jurrasic World Fallen Kingdom (4K)
Kick Ass 2 (4k)
King Kong (2005) (Theatrical) (4k)
Kramer Vs Kramer (4K)
Last Actio Hero (4K)
The Last Picture Show (4K)
Lawrence of Arabia (4k)
The Lion King (Animated) (4K)
The Lion King (Live Action) (4k)
The Little Mermaid (2023) (4k)
The Lost Boys (4k)
The Martian (Extended Edition) (4k)
Moon (4K)
Morbius (4K)
Mulan (2020) (4K)
National Lampoon's Animal House (4k)
National Lampoon's Vacation (4k)
Oblivion (4k)
Oliver (4k)
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (4k)
Onward (4K) (MA Split)
Oppenheimer (4k)
Parasite (4k)
Paprika (4K)
Poltergeist (4k)
Predator (4k)
The Prestige (4k) (MA Split)
The Prince of Egypt (4k)
Punch Drunk Love (4K)
The Raid Redemption (4K)
Rebel Without a Cause (4k)
Rudy (4k)
Sense and Sensibility (4k)
Schindler's List (4k)
Shang Chi (4K)
To Sir With Love (4k)
Sleepless in Seattle (4K)
Smokey and the Bandit (4k)
Snow White (4K) (MA Split)
Soul (4k) (MA Split)
Spartacus (4k )
Speed (4K)
Spider-Man Across the Spider-Verse 4k
Spies in Disguise (4K) (MA) (Split)
Super Mario Bros. (4k)
Starman (4K)
Tár (4k)
Training Day (4k)
Unbreakable (4K) (MA Split)
Venom (4K)
Violent Night (4K)
West Side Story (4K) (MA Split)
Whiplash (4K)
Zero Dark Thirty (4K)
Zombieland (4k)
•(HD)•
Ant-Man & The Wasp (HD MA) (Split) (MA)
Avengers: Age of Ultron (HD) (MA Split)
Beauty and the Beast (HD MA) (MA) (Split)
Black Panther (HD MA) (Split) (MA)
Black Phone (HD) (MA)
Brother Bear (HD) (MA)
Brother Bear 2 (HD) (MA)
Captain America: Civil War (4k iTunes) (Split) (MA)
Captain America: The First Avenger (HD MA) (Split)
Captain America: Winter Soldier (4k iTunes) (Split) (MA)
Despicable Me 2 (HD) (MA Split)
A Dog's Purpose (HD) (MA Split)
The Fast and the Furious 6 (Extended Edition) (HD) (MA Split)
The Gunman (HD) (MA Split)
Hercules (Disney) (HD) (MA Split)
Hocus Pocus (HD) (MA) (Split)
Home (2015) (HD) (MA)
How to Train Your Dragon 2 (HD) (MA Split)
The Huntsman: Winter's War (HD) (MA Split)
Jarhead 2 (Unrated) (HD) (MA Split)
Jurrasic Park HD MA (Split)
Jurrasic Park: The Lost World HD MA (Split)
Jurrasic Park 3 HD MA Split)
Jurrasic Park 3 HD MA
Jurrasic World HD MA (Split)
Les Misérables (HD) (MA Split)
Megan Leavey (HD) (MA Split)
The Menu (HD) (MA)
My All American (HD) (MA Split)
The Nightmare Before Christmas (HD MA) (Split)
The Nut Job (HD) (MA Split)
Oz the Great and Powerful (HD) (MA Split)
Pitch Perfect (HD)
Pitch Perfect 2 (HD)
Point Break (HD)
Rio (HD)
Rise of the Guardians (HD) (MA Split)
Sleeping Beauty (HD MA) (MA) (Split)
Snow White (HD MA) (MA) (Split)
Snow White & the Huntsman HD (MA Split)
Straight Outta Compton (Theatrical) HD (MA Split)
Straight Outta Compton (Unrated) HD (MA Split)
Sword in the Stone 60th Anniversary Edition HD (MA Split)
Thor Love & Thunder HD (MA Split)
Upgrade (HD)
When the Game Stands Tall HD
Willow (HD) (MA Split)
●Google Play Disney Splits●
•(HD)•
101 Dalmatians 2 (HD GP)
Ant-Man & The Wasp (HD GP)
Atlantis: Milo's Return (HD GP)
Atlantis: The Lost Empire (HD GP)
Avatar: The Way of Water (HD GP)
Avengers: Age of Ultron (HD GP)
Avengers: Endgame (HD GP)
Bambi (HD GP)
Banshees of Inisherin (HD GP)
Beauty & the Beast (HD GP)
Bedknobs and Broomsticks (HD GP)
Big Hero 6 (HD GP)
Black Panther (HD GP)
Black Panther Wakanda Forever (HD GP)
Black Widow (HD GP)
Brave (HD GP)
Bridge of spies (HD GP)
Captain Marvel (HD GP)
Captain America: Civil War (HD GP)
Captain America: Winter Soldier (HD GP)
Captain America: The First Avenger (HD GP)
Cinderella (Animated) (HD GP)
Coco (HD GP)
Disneynature Monkey Kingdom (HD GP)
Doctor Strange (HD GP)
Doctor Strange: Multiverse of Madness (HD GP)
Dumbo (Animated) (HD GP)
The Emperor's New Groove (HD GP)
Finding Dory (HD GP)
Finding Nemo (HD GP)
The Fox and the Hound (HD GP)
The French Dispatch (HD GP)
Frozen (Sing-Along Edition) (HD GP)
Hocus Pocus (HD GP)
The Hunchback of Notre Dame (HD GP)
The Hunchback of Notre Dame 2 (HD GP)
Iron Man 3 (HD GP)
The Jungle Book (Animated) (HD GP)
The Jungle Book 2 (HD GP)
Kings Man (HD GP)
Kronk's New Groove (HD GP)
The Last Duel (HD GP)
Lightyear (HD GP)
The Lion King (Animated) (HD GP)
The Lion King (Live Action) (HD GP)
The Little Mermaid 3 (HD GP)
Luca (HD GP)
Maleficent (HD GP)
Maleficent: Mistress of Evil (HD GP)
McFarland U.S.A (HD GP)
Mickey's Christmas Carol (HD GP)
Million Dollar Arm (HD GP)
Moana (HD GP)
Monsters Inc (HD GP)
Mulan (2020) (HD GP)
Muppets Most Wanted (HD GP)
Nightmare Alley (HD GP)
The Nightmare Before Christmas (HD GP)
Onward (HD GP)
Oz the Great and Powerful (HD GP)
Peter Pan HD (GP)
Pete's Dragon (Live Action) (HD GP)
Pixar Short Films Volume 3 (HD GP)
Pocahontas (HD GP)
The Prestige (HD GP)
Ratatouille (HD GP)
Raya and the Last Dragon (HD GP)
Robin Hood (HD GP)
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (HD GP)
The Santa Clause (HD GP)
Sleeping Beauty (HD GP)
Snow White (HD GP)
Soul (HD GP)
Spies in Disguise (HD GP)
Star Wars: A New Hope (HD GP)
Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back (HD GP)
Star Wars: The Last Jedi (HD GP)
Star Wars: The Phantom Menace (HD GP)
Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (HD GP)
Sword in the Stone 60th Anniversary Edition (HD GP)
Thor Love & Thunder (HD GP)
Thor Ragnarok (HD GP)
Tomorrowland (HD GP)
Unbreakable (HD GP)
West Side Story (HD GP)
A Wrinkle In Time (HD GP)
Zootopia (HD GP)
●iTunes●
•(4K)•
Allied (4k) (iTunes Split)
Annihilation (4K) (iTunes Split)
Avengers: Endgame (4k iTunes) (Split) (MA)
Captain Marvel (4k iTunes) (Split) (MA)
Daddy's Home (4K) (iTunes Split)
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (4k iTunes) (MA)
Despicable Me 2 (4k iTunes) (Split) (MA)
Despicable Me 3 (4K iTunes) (Split) (MA)
Doctor Strange (4k iTunes) (Split) (MA)
Everest (4k iTunes) (Split) (MA)
The Fast & the Furious 6 (Extended Edition) (4k iTunes) (Split) (MA)
Finding Dory (4k iTunes) (split) (MA)
Forest Gump (4K) (iTunes Split)
Gemini Man (4K) (iTunes Split)
Ghost in the Shell (Live Action) (4k iTunes Split)
Heat (4k iTunes) (MA)
How to Train Your Dragon 2 (4k iTunes) (Split) (MA)
Iron Man 3 (4K iTunes Split) (MA)
Joy (4k iTunes) (MA)
Jurrasic Park (4k iTunes) (Split) (MA)
Jurrasic Park: The Lost World (4k iTunes) (Split) (MA)
Jurrasic World (4k iTunes) (Split) (MA)
The Kingsman Secret Service (4k iTunes) (MA)
La La Land (4k) (iTunes) (Split)
Les Misérables (4K iTunes) (Split) (MA)
Lone Survivor (4k iTunes) (Split) (MA)
Maleficent (4k iTunes) (Split) (MA)
Maleficent: Mistress of Evil (4K iTunes) (Split) (MA)
Moana (4K iTunes) (Split) (MA)
No Time To Die (4k)
Rocketman (4K) (iTunes Split)
Sicario (4K) (iTunes) (Split)
Sleeping Beauty (4k iTunes) (Split) (MA)
Thor Ragnarok (4k iTunes) (Split) (MA)
War for the Planet of the Apes (4K iTunes) (MA)
Warcraft (4k iTunes) (Split) (MA)
Why Him (4k iTunes) (MA)
•(HD)•
All Eyes On Me (HD) (iTunes Split)
An Inconvenient Sequal: Truth to Power (HD) (iTunes Split)
The Big Short (HD iTunes) (Split)
Cheech and Chong: Up in Smoke (HD) (iTunes Split)
Den of Thieves (HD) (iTunes Split)
Good Kill (HD) (iTunes Split)
The Guilt Trip (HD) (iTunes Split)
I, Frankenstein (HD) (iTunes Split)
Megan Leavey (HD) (iTunes Split) (MA)
Nebraska (HD) (iTunes Split)
The Nut Job (HD) (iTunes Split) (MA)
Rise of the Guardians (HD) (iTunes Split) (MA)
Top Five (HD) (Itunes Split)
●Vudu●
•(4K)•
Annihilation (4K) (Vudu Split)
Apocalypse Now (Triple Feature) (4k) (Vudu)
Creed 3 (4k) (Vudu Only)
Daddy's Home (4K) (Vudu Split)
Early Man (4k) (Vudu)
Ender's Game (4k) (Vudu)
Everything Everywhere All at Once (4K) (Vudu)
Forest Gump (4K) (Vudu Split)
Gemini Man (4K) (Vudu Split)
Ghost in the Shell (2017) (4K) (Vudu Split)
Highlander (4k) (Vudu)
La La Land (4k) (Vudu Split)
The Man Who Fell to Earth 4K (Vudu)
The Mist 4k (Vudu)
Ran 4k (Vudu)
Rocketman (4K) (Vudu Split)
The Secret Garden 4K (Vudu)
Sicario 4K (Vudu Split)
Source Code 4k (Vudu)
Ugly Dolls 4k (Vudu)
•(HD)•
The Big Short (HD) (Vudu Split)
●Lionsgate●
•(4K)•
Apocalypse Now (Triple Feature) 4k (Vudu)
Belly 4k (Vudu)
The Cabin in the Woods 4k (Vudu, iTunes, Google Play)
Early Man 4k (Vudu)
Ender's Game 4k (Vudu)
Everything Everywhere All at Once (4K) (Vudu)
Expendables (4K) (Vudu, iTunes, Google Play)
Expendables 2 (4K) (Vudu, iTunes, Google Play)
Fall 4k (Vudu, iTunes)
Hacksaw Ridge 4K (Vudu, iTunes, Google Play)
Highlander 4k (Vudu)
The Hitman's Bodygaurd 4k (Vudu, iTunes, Google Play)
The Hitman's Wife's Bodygaurd 4k (Vudu, iTunes, Google Play)
Jigsaw 4k (Vudu, iTunes, Google Play)
John Wick Chapter 4 4k (Vudu, iTunes)
La La Land 4k (Vudu, iTunes) (Split)
The Man Who Fell to Earth 4K (Vudu)
The Mist 4k (Vudu)
Plane 4k (Vudu, iTunes)
Ran 4k (Vudu)
Requiem for a Dream (4K) ( Vudu, iTunes)
Reservoir Dogs (4K) (Vudu, iTunes)
The Secret Garden 4K (Vudu)
Sisu 4K (Vudu, iTunes)
Source Code 4k (Vudu)
Total Recall 4k (1990) (Vudu, iTunes)
Ugly Dolls 4k (Vudu)
•(HD)•
Blue Steel (HD) (Vudu)
Dementia 13 (Director's Cut) (HD Vudu or Google Play) (4k iTunes)
Dream a Little Dream HD (Vudu or Google Play)
Extreme Prejudice HD (Vudu or Google Play)
I Still Believe (HD Vudu) or (4k iTunes)
Little Monsters (HD) (Vudu, Google Play)
My Best Friend is a Vampire HD (Vudu)
Shivers (HD) (Vudu, Google Play)
The Wickerman HD (From 4k but redeems HD for now) (Vudu)
●Paramount●
•(4K)•
Annihilation (4k) (Vudu, iTunes) (Split)
Babylon (4k) (Vudu, iTunes)
Braveheart (4k) (Vudu, iTunes)
Coming to America (4k) (Vudu, iTunes, Google Play)
Crawl (4K) (Vudu, iTunes)
Days of Thunder (4k) (Vudu, iTunes)
Dragonslayer (4k) (Vudu, iTunes)
The Firm (4k) (Vudu)
Flashdance (4K) (Vudu)
Forest Gump (4k) (Vudu, iTunes) (Split)
Gladiator (4k) (Vudu, iTunes)
The Godfather Coda (4K) (Vudu, iTunes)
Interstellar (4K) (Vudu or iTunes)
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (4k) (Vudu, iTunes)
Love & Monsters (4k) (Vudu, iTunes)
The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (4K) (Vudu, iTunes)
Planes, Trains, & Automobiles (4k) (Vudu, iTunes)
A Quiet Place Part 2 (4K) (Vudu or ITunes)
Rosemary's Baby (4K) (Vudu, iTunes)
Scream (4k) (Vudu or iTunes)
Scream 2 (4k) (Vudu or iTunes)
Scream 3 (4k) (Vudu or iTunes)
Scream 5 (2022) (4k) ( Vudu or iTunes)
Scream 6 (4k) (Vudu or iTunes)
Sleepy Hollow (4k) (Vudu)
Sonic (4k) (Vudu or iTunes)
The Sum of All Fears (4k) (Vudu or iTunes)
Super 8 (4K) (Vudu or iTunes)
Sweeny Todd (4k) (Vudu)
Terms of Endearment (4K) (Vudu, iTunes)
Titanic (4K) (Vudu, iTunes)
Top Gun (4k) (Vudu or iTunes)
Top Gun Maverick (4k) (Vudu or iTunes)
The Truman Show (4K) (Vudu)
The Untouchables (4k) (Vudu, iTunes)
Vanilla Sky (4k) (Vudu, iTunes)
War of the Worlds (2005) (4k) (Vudu, iTunes)
The Wolf of Wall Street (4k) (Vudu, iTunes)
•(HD)•
Mean Girls (2004) (HD Vudu, 4k iTunes)
Wonder Park (HD Vudu, 4k iTunes)

I never believed in Santa. When I was younger, I made all the kids in my preschool class cry by pointing out “Santa’s” fake boots and pulling down his beard. The teachers got mad at me for it, one of the teachers were trying not to laugh though, haha. Sorry for not lying, I guess. Maybe get an actor with a real beard and real boots next time, how the other kids couldn’t tell that wasn’t the “real Santa”, is beyond me.
But Somehow I still technically believed in god until my teenage years. At 13/14 I switched to the “I believe in whatever is out there” mindset, and then by the time I was 17(my age currently) I just stopped believing in any of it.
I think the reason I still believed in god at a young age, was because unlike Santa, adults still believe in god, even after their kid years. My parents would take me to church, where many adults attended. So I guess I assumed he was real, unlike Santa, if adults believed in him.
That and death, I was severely scared of death when I was a child. But, even the idea of heaven scared me, I didn’t want to die at all, no matter what came after death. Knowing that you’ll be gone from this earth forever one day can be scary for a child.

TL;DR: ^{Struggled with social interactions, obsessive tendencies, and learning difficulties throughout life. Diagnosed with multiple conditions including Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 2 and anxiety disorders. Unemployed since 2019, unable to find accommodating work due to conditions. Considering applying for disability benefits but unsure of eligibility. Feeling lost and overwhelmed.}
My whole life I've had a hard time relating with people, connecting with people, making eye contact, enjoying the same things as others. I always tended to obsess on something for example if I took a part-time job I would burn myself out because I couldn't help but focus on work after work. To the point I'd break rules to login to resources and do research off the clock, resulting in me being fired.
When I was a child I would be more excited about the box the gift came in that I could hide in from everyone, instead of the gift itself. I didn't ever like parties with lots of kids, I would tend to hide until the party was over and call my mom until she came and picked me up. I couldn't handle kids tapping pencils in the class so my teacher would put me in the hallway, this to me was a treat not a punishment. I don't like making eye contact it feels really weird and I'm not good at it. When I practiced it someone said I creeped them out because I would just stare straight into their eyes without breaking contact like normal so I just avoid it altogether.
Anyhow a lot of these issues I adapted to pretty decently until I turned 30 and realized the stuff wasn't improving even with a few years of weekly therapy sessions with 2 different psychotherapists. Always struggled with panic attacks and chronic anxiety. I also have never been able to learn math equasions for example x = y type stuff. My brain goes "Why is a letter in math" and I used to read and write backwards.
I recently got engaged and my FIance after spending 8 months with me said she thinks somethings off, "No offense". None taken.. Anyways.. I saw a top psychologist in my state and spent a few hours on a few different occasions with them. Took some tests and they told me I have:

• Schizotypal Personality Disorder
• Mathematics Learning Disability
• Post Concussion Syndrome (Severe TBI in a motor vehicle accident 2013)
• Panic Disorder
• Generalized Anxiety Disorder
• Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 2

I know it's a laundry list. I have been unemployed since 2019 I only am able to work side jobs anymore. I just have constant panic attacks that have been unmanaged with medications and psychotherapy so I actually quit going to therapy and seeing a shrink. Therefor I only have 12 work credits on my record which I've read some of those fall off every 5 years.
I'm just wondering, do I even have a chance in hell at applying for SSI/SSDI or any type of assistance or am I going to have to try and find a job that will accomodate me or something? I have yet to find one of those by the way. I am very forthcoming with my conditions and typically this results in no hire. I have applied for over 100 jobs since 2019. I've heard back from a dozen or so, and the rest just likely throw my application in the trash.
I don't understand anything about disability or social security and my mom has told me I need to try and apply for benefits. Is it worth my time at all having only 12 work credits? Am I even eligible for SSI or SSDI? I don't know what to do anymore I'm feeling kinda depressed now because I have lived my whole life in a lie it feels like. I have had to always do things that "normal" people do and it has ground me into the dirt. I was very lucky to meet my fiancee online and we ended up talking for a few months before meeting in person. SHe loves me to death, I love her very much too although it took me a long time to learn what I was actually feeling and learn how to commit myself and be a good Fiance.
I just don't know anymore what to do, where to turn, who to ask.. Thank you.
p.s My mother never took me to a doctor even though family and friends of hers always told her something was wrong with me and that she needed to. My aunt used to tell her I had asperger's or something. She was afraid they'd medicate me. I kinda got screwed in that sense now that I am learning more about this process..

So I binge-watched Shogun in the last 5 days, which I know is a travesty because I should have drawn it out longer, but here we are. I knew absolutely nothing about the show beforehand except that it had been recommended as "good". I didn't know it was based off a book (books?), or that it had been a TV series before. I will be honest, the first episode had me a little wary. To be frank, I was less than enthused about the prospect of ten episodes with Pilot/Blackthorne as the protagonist, as I thought might be the case. What followed was probably one of most surprising TV watching experiences I have ever had. I've never cried more times watching a TV show, let alone in such a short span of time. I am not exaggerating when I say that-- Mariko's near-suicide? Cried. Next episode when she is revealed dead? Cried. Blackthorne safely leaving Osaka? Lady Ochiba finishing the poem? Yabushige's death? Fuji spreading the ashes? Each time.
This show emotionally wrecked me so profoundly in just 10 episodes. The performances of the central cast were unbelievable. The show had an emotional clarity and a level of intentionality in certain scenes that I can't recall seeing recently in television. I'm used to watching some shows with very carefully crafted plots like russian dolls, where every scene fits into the next, and there is always a sense of "pace" and elaborate structure. It can be overwhelming an unwieldy. This show had scenes, like the tea room with Mariko and Buntaro for instance, that did advance the plot, but it was a scene that almost felt like it asked the viewer to -stop- the plot, and just watch tea being prepared. There were many moments like this.
Of course, there were many problems with the show as well-- in a first pass, there were a lot of things I didn't understand while watching, I had to watch them back or look up online afterwarrds in an episode recap to figure out what I had misunderstood in a character's actions-- which, you might say is my fault for not having read the books or seen previous shows, but maybe the show was a little disjointed. Also, I'm sure others have a lot to say about this, but maybe the beginning felt slow and the ending felt rushed?
All in all, one of the best acted shows I've seen, one of the most unique shows I've seen-- in the sense that they could have chosen to create a tv series with more fighting, action, sex, etc., but they wanted to make something that has those, but also grief, beauty, poetry, family, duty, etc. I know those are themes in other shows, I just appreciate how earnestly and effectively they were represented here.