I thought I would share my story here, because reading about everyone’s experiences has been so incredibly validating. So firstly; from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU everyone- in turn, I hope this helps someone, or that someone resonates with an experience, or adds to the collective consciousness of healing and realising that we deserve better. Because I need to believe that, I need to know this has been bad. I feel completely mental.
I’d like to start by saying this may not make sense and I’m a bit all over the shop rn and I apologise. And there are many, many things I could add to this that have added to the growing sadness and eggshell walking as the relationship went on, but I’ve tried to keep it small. I also want to say that you may be screaming at the screen wondering how I could be so stupid. And to that I say, me too. I am screaming at myself as well. As a 30-something year old woman, I acknowledge I was not the person I wanted to be in this situation. I wanted to be stronger.
I’m currently a couple of weeks out of my break up (or break up attempt 1 as I should probably put it, I’m still sending angry texts, receiving proclamations of love, wondering what if). I was with my nex (narcissistic ex) for nearly 7 years. We were meant to be getting married a week ago. For the last six months, my intuition had been telling me that a “friendship” he had with a coworker wasn’t right. This coworker was going through some stuff, and leant heavily on nex probably because he portrayed himself as a powerhouse at work who said whatever was on his mind and was always, always, always always right (newsflash he wasn’t). Nex has a saviour complex x1000 that I’d never let myself really think too hard about so he went hardcore “supporting her” and I sat on the sidelines thinking she needed that support. I won’t say anything about this girl but she’s not a girl’s girl. She’s a pick me. It kind of felt to me like- of course he’s not going to choose her, why would I worry about it. It’s too OBVIOUS. Like of course not? Look what we have.
Before this and during, Nex and I were planning on buying a house and were getting married (I was doing all the house saving, he had no idea about money but pretended he did, spent impulsively but was on a great salary, and I was doing all the wedding planning) and were planning on having a baby next year-ish. I had reached a point in my career that I was finally happy with, a career he said many shitty things about over our time together but it was the first thing he mentioned when talking to others and trying to impress. He had proposed at year 4 of the relationship (he always said he wouldn’t propose before 3 years because that’s how long his longest relationship was with his ex who he also cheated on). Red flag that yet again I ignored because I was different and this was different and I could change him and blah fucking blah.
Our relationship looked perfect. It really fucking did. I thought it was for a long time. I refused to think it wouldn’t be forever and wasn’t written in the stars. Behind the scenes, now I look back(ish) I realise I was struggling. I had raging PMS each month, often had depressive episodes that he would virtually ignore. I often struggled to watch movies where women had kind, funny and non reactive partners, I secretly envied my friends and their partners because they wouldn’t have to worry about what came out of their partner’s or their mouth next, or who their partner would fight with in the room, or how I would handle a public put down if he was in that mood or if I wasn’t handling myself perfectly. I walked on eggshells for years. I took his self aggrandising every day after work or sport as healthy self confidence. I was being slowly removed from my family as he argued with each one. He bragged about me and I felt like his trophy which I took as love and it gave me a false confidence I’d never had before when I was with him. When I spoke about him my inner voice said ‘wow, he really does sound great.’ His sister would often look at me and I felt like she always wanted to ask if I was really okay but I never let her. I had supported nex through addiction to weed/alcohol/substances of every kind (something I struggled to do because they have never been on my radar, just uninterested, and I was the bad person for that, I was the ‘child’ who wouldn’t immerse herself in the wonderful world of drugs), countless interpersonal issues at work and with his family, trying to support all sides, I had organised every home we had lived in, I organised cooking, cleaning, fun weekends, it was my goal to get him the most thoughtful and lovely presents I could find whenever I could. It was like it was my goal to be a fabulous girlfriend. I’m really not trying to pretend I’m perfect, but I can say 100% honestly that I put all I could into making him feel loved. He used to call me a unicorn, I guess because I just did whatever he wanted. However, I felt like I was going to bed in tears more often than anyone should. I got to the point where I wouldn’t put eye cream on because I knew I was just going to cry it off. Every Sunday morning I got a bit triggered by our local coffee shop because I always felt like that was where we were trying to pick up the pieces emotionally after fighting the night before over absolutely anything. I found this taxing, because never had I had such a tumultuous relationship with anyone before and I was wondering wtf was happening. He, on the other hand, often said how much he enjoyed conflict and he loved the feeling of anger. He said it to everyone and I always laughed it off. He said he was so good at handling people and he charmed so well, as he is incredibly good looking. He had issues with everyone - his bosses, his friends, his coworkers, his neighbours. We were in couples counselling after I couldn’t be yelled at anymore, and he had told a friend of ours that it was for me and not for him. I chose not to believe he said that because this friend had had issues with him too and I thought it might’ve been an attempt from them of triangulation. I believe them now. I’m so sorry to that friend. Two of his friends sent me messages on seperate occasions asking me if I was okay, that I didn’t have to put up with this.
Something I am proud of is that I, often, when I felt strong, and my brain worked, didn’t play along with his ego without a fight. I DID play devils advocate for the other person when he had yet another interpersonal issue. I DID call out his dogmatism. I DID expect more from him, that he didn’t have to yell CUNT or WHORE every time something went mildly wrong. However, there are times when I didn’t. And it was because I was just fucking exhausted.
Two/three months ago, and after I found a deleted phone call from the other woman that he lied to my face about, I started watching his find my iPhone which we had turned on when I went overseas a couple of years earlier but I’d forgotten about. It felt gross doing, I didn’t want to, but I also tried to justify it to myself by saying it’s my future, damn it, let’s see if I really am being ridiculous. One early morning while it was still dark, I felt him kiss me and say he was going to the gym. An hour later I woke up with an EERIE AS FUCK feeling and checked FMI. He was at her address. I called him and he didn’t pick up. I watched his car drive on FMI back to the gym and he conveniently called. I asked where he had been and he immediately gaslit me, said he was at the gym, FACETIMED ME TO SHOW ME and said that he couldn’t do my “jealousy” anymore. I broke down and told him I knew he had been at hers through FMI. He then started crying and said he visited her to call the friendship off “the right way” and that he told her that he cared for her but he had to stop because I couldn’t take it anymore and was too jealous. I bought it, as he never ever cried. I apologised. But from then on, my body was full of anxiety and pain. Life was on autopilot.
This happened a few other times. I had a weird feeling one afternoon on a Saturday when he said he was at the gym and had to pop into work to do some printing (not unusual). On autopilot, unable to feel emotions and probably looking completely mental, I got in my car, drove to the workplace, and saw both their cars outside. As I turned the corner to drive away, realising it HAD to be over now, you stupid bitch Charlie0987 it HAD to be over, I immediately got a call from him explaining away, can’t even remember what he said now. It’s not what you think, we have some important work to do that she can’t do alone, you’re jealous, she’s (the other woman) is angry that you even think anything is going on. I ended up apologising that night. Yep. However, at that point I did call off the wedding. I thought the wedding stress and money (literally, me fucking planning it, most of MY money) was the problem. I thought if we just eloped, we’d be okay. Calling everyone to call off the wedding while pretending to them and myself that it was all okay was fucked. I have no other way to describe it than completely and utterly fucked. He was then nice for a few days. I was heartbroken I couldn’t have the wedding I has envisioned, I didn’t let myself think of the love that was crashing down around me. Everyone asked me how the wedding planning was going, every day it was someone new. I had to pretend it was all fine and that we cancelled for financial reasons. It was hell. I will never again ask someone planning a wedding how the wedding planning is going until they bring it up with me.
All through this, I was supporting my friend with a very rare form of cancer (it doesn’t feel real typing this out, feels like some kind of shitty movie). I remember crying about it once on the couch and he said that my crying annoyed him, and that what the other woman had gone through was bad too. He said he didn’t want to have sex with me because I was too skinny (I was depressed and not eating) and cried too much and because I didn’t exercise and he was attracted to people that exercised (fair enough, but also fuck you). Still, through all this, I loved him, tried to be what he had loved about me for six years (compassionate and quiet) and told myself it was okay and it was a rough patch.
All through this, our couples counsellor was saying my attachment issue and abandonment issues was what was a huge part of the problem and that males and females have friendships and I needed to gtfo it. Like every human being I’m sure I have had fears of abandonment, and I do acknowledge I have relied on the safe feeling of men in the past. However, I NOW don’t think it was the main issue here. I don’t blame this counsellor if I’m honest, he was eating what was being fed to him by nex. And I wanted to believe it too. I was willing to work on myself and I was trying to see my anxiety for what I thought, and what I was being told, it was. Nex told me regularly when I asked him not to yell at me that I just didn’t understand real men.
A couple of weeks before D Day, nex asked for space to “miss me”. I went to my family, pretended he’d gone on a trip so I wouldn’t get asked why I was there, tried to show up for work, tried to be strong. I slept next to my wedding dress, still boxed. Those weeks were probably the worst weeks of my life. I didn’t know where he was, didn’t know who he was with, but we were still together, I didn’t eat, got medication to sleep, mindlessly partook in my hobbies to try to do the right thing and be the person he loved. He treated me like I was an annoying fly and either didn’t reply to messages or sent a few and then nothing. After four days of me barely eating and sleeping and looking like an emaciated ghost, I asked if I could come home (I loved our rental, it was such a safe space for me with my garden and my animals). He replied basically fine, and then for the rest of the week I was chastised for not giving enough space and that it wasn’t proper space. Couples counsellor agreed with him. A week later I said fuck it and went again, feeling a bit stronger this time. On day 3, I felt sick all day. I had a nap in the afternoon and felt dread. I had received no messages, but I messaged that I loved him that night. He love hearted it. I found out later he had been with her all day, but don’t worry, it was for a good reason he said. Intuition yet again picked that one up.
The next morning I got up, packed, and went home as it was our agreed upon day that I’d return. I said to him this is actually it, I can’t take this anymore. I am physically and mentally wrecked. It’s been six years. You’re a big boy. You’re either in it or you’re not. It was a big conversation, and we agreed that we would be in it together, the relationship was worth saving, and I would step back and agree to believe in his supportive friendship with this girl and no longer worry. He also agreed to tell me if he didn’t want to be together anymore, or if anything came up regarding this relationship with the girl. We set a date to elope for end of year. He went to the gym, and I remember saying to him I was so happy we’re choosing us. He kissed me and said me too. I felt elated and safe. I then re packed my bag, as I was taking my friend to her first cancer treatment the day after.
When he got back from the gym, he went to the shower. Now we had agreed with the couples counsellor not to check each others phones for a while. I had been okay with it, and didn’t have an issue leaving his phone. But once he got into the shower, my intuition, my chest, my body, SCREAMED at me to check his notes in his phone for the first time in weeks. I went into notes and found a text drafted to the other woman. It said something along the lines of “X and I have agreed to a break when she takes her friend to cancer treatment. I told her I wasn’t sexually attracted to her anymore but I was to you. I’m feeling so over it now she’s home, I want more space” plus some other awful stuff that I’ve buried down and can’t quite remember. At no point, ever, did we agree to a break. I dropped his phone, went into the bathroom, and told him I was leaving. I can’t remember much of the next few moments. I do remember he turned it on me for looking at his phone, then him crying. I remember screaming, screaming screaming at him. I had raised my voice hardly ever in our entire relationship so I can imagine that was a moment for him. But I just screamed. I asked if he was planning on trying to sleep with her when I was with my friend for radiation. He nodded. He blocked me from the door to “talk” and tried to grab me into a hug. I screamed and screamed. I put (the most random shit btw, a dress, some acne cream, a book??) some things into a bag and I got into the car, howling. And I sat there a moment and I STILL WONDERED IF I SHOULD LEAVE.
I STILL WONDERED IF I SHOULD LEAVE.
And I did. I drove away from our beautiful little secluded rental that I had poured my love into and was hoping to raise a baby in. I knew I couldn’t afford the rent alone but he can even with his pathetic spending habits and I can’t live in the place of our memories. I went to my family and fell apart. I’m not going to disclose further about my mental state or what happened but I got sent to be with other family for a couple of weeks in another state. He has been messaging me ever since. Promises of change, of moving away, of starting again, of selling a property that he bought before us and has sat doing nothing our entire relationship and was the reason we couldn’t buy our home, (frustrating that he reaps the reward of that now), saying he has blocked this other woman from his life (he still works with her and I refuse to believe he hasn’t had ongoing contact). Oh and on the day I drove to be with my family in another state, the universe decided to let my car meet her car, with him in it, at an intersection. He crouched down like the coward he is. She looked like a stunned mullet. I waved at her. I was hysterical. Can’t even remember it fully but I remember the feeling. That’s the love of my life in there with another woman. It. Was. Fucking. Hell. On. Earth. I still can’t believe that happened. What were actually the odds of that happening?
I’ve gone through so much anger towards her but I KNOW it’s misdirected. I’m slowly moving towards anger towards him. I haven’t messaged her telling her how my life has been destroyed and I won’t. I think she will thrive on it and she has a young kid who my heart bleeds for. And I have so much anger towards the series of events that had to happen in the first place and what feels like the wasted last 7 years of the best years of my life. I miss my home and my non-existent child and I miss arms around me. I miss him when he was nice. I hate that I don’t have what everyone else around me seems to have at this age, what I want so desperately. Please, please let me know I can get through this. Let me know I can’t go back. Please tell me this is abuse and it won’t get better because I am struggling to believe it. I’m also super fragile right now so if you want to say anything mean, just hold it for now and bring it to me later.
Love to you all. X

At the world’s top college of magic and technology, every day brings a new discovery -and a new disaster. The advanced experiments of the college students tend to be both ambitious and apocalyptic, with the end of the world only prevented by a mysterious time loop, and a small handful of students who retain their memories.
Surviving the loops was hard enough, but now, in his senior year, Vell Harlan must take charge of them, and deal with the fact that the whole world now knows his secrets. Everyone knows about Vell’s death and resurrection, along with the divine game he is a part of. Now Vell must contend with overly curious scientists and evil billionaires hungry for divine power while the daily doomsday cycle bombards him with terrorists, talking elephants, and the Grim Reaper himself -but if he can endure it all, the Last Goddess’s game promises the ultimate prize: power over life itself.
[Previous Chapter][Patreon][Cover Art]
“Four years on and the headache still sucks,” Vell groaned to himself.
Though most of the loopers had managed to make it to midnight alive, they had nothing to show for it but headaches. They had not succeeded in digging Cane out of the rubble, or investigating his apparent ghost theory in any other way. That was a complication, but not a fatal one. They had some leads to work with, at least, and Vell knew where to get started on the ghost angle. Vell gladly made the call that would get them started.
“Goooooood morning Mr. Harlan,” Harley chimed. “What’s happening?”
“Frog invasions, among other problems,” Vell grumbled.
“Oh, that’s a time loop headache if I ever heard it,” Harley said. She’d run into that affliction more than a few times.
“Yeah, it’s not great,” Vell said. “Listen, do you still have Garrett’s number?”
“Ooh, ghost problems, eh?” Harley said. “I’ll text it to you.”
“Thanks. I kind of got to get right to it, so I’ll have to give you the details later, alright? Love you, Harley.”
“Love you too, bud,” Harley said. “Say hi to Garret for me.”
Vell hung up the first call and braced himself for the second. He liked Garret, but he could also be a lot to deal with -a fact well-demonstrated by the phone call beginning with Garret’s theme music blaring over the phone. Once the bombastic rock and roll stopped, Vell was disappointed to hear a mechanical beep indicate the start of an answering machine message.
“Hi, you’ve reached Garret Geist, Ghost Getter,” the message said, in Garrett’s usual southern california drawl. “I’m currently on a long-term submersible mission to exorcise the ghosts of shipwreck victims who’ve been trapped undersea for centuries.”
“What?”
Vell knew it was a recording, but needed to voice his offense anyway. It was hard to truly be mad knowing Garrett was doing something so incredibly heroic, though.
“I should be back to the surface and ready to help in a few days, so please leave a message and I’ll get to you as soon as I can!”
The automated message clicked again and fell silent. Vell hung up the phone and let out a low groan of despair.
“Okay, we’re not screwed yet,” Vell said. “Just need to wait a bit.”
Vell brushed his teeth and rushed through breakfast, and then, right on cue, heard a knock on his door. He whipped it open to find a bothersome scientist once again at his door.
“Hi, good morning,” Vell said, as he opened the door. “You here to bother me about Quenay?”
“I- uh, I have some very interesting theories.”
“I’m sure you do,” Vell said. “If you can just hold on one second…”
Vell paused and waited. The bothersome student also waited, at least for a few seconds.
“What exactly are we waiting for?”
“This.”
Cane grabbed the student by the collar and yanked them away from the door. Vell invited him in and slammed the door shut behind them to really drive the point home.
“Thank you for that,” Vell said. “Did you need something?”
“Just to talk to you,” Cane said. “I was trying to get people together to hang out tonight. Figured you’d want in, if you’re not too busy.”
“I could probably make it, I just have to…”
Vell froze. He really should’ve come up with these lies in advance.
“You good, Vell?”
“I, uh, sorry, just losing track of things, mentally,” Vell said. “I’ve had a lot of people, uh, ask me for help with things.”
“What kind of things?” Cane said. “You need a hand?”
“Maybe.”
Vell contemplated how to proceed for a moment, and then figured he’d probably built up enough good will with Cane over the past four years he could just dive right in.
“You ever heard about frog ghosts?”
“Yeah,” Cane said, without so much as blinking.
“Oh, cool,” Vell said. “What about them?”
“Well, hold on, are you talking about frog ghosts as in the ghost of frogs, or a ghost related to frogs?”
“Either or, I guess?”
“Okay, because I don’t know anything about any ghostly frogs,” Cane said. “There is supposedly the ghost of a guy obsessed with frogs on campus, though.”
“Interesting. Tell me about the frog guy.”
“I don’t know all the details, it was kind of an urban legend even when my brother came here about a decade back,” Cane said. “All he ever told me was the this frog-obsessed sophomore died while studying, and he haunts the basement of the sophomore dorms, I guess. ‘Some say you can still hear faint croaking in the basement’ and all that horror story shit.”
“Interesting,” Vell said, again. “Let me look into that and we’ll circle back later, alright? I gotta go, see you.”
“Vell-”
“Sorry, kind of in a hurry, bud,” Vell said, as he left and shut the door behind.
“This is your dorm, dude,” Cane said.
***
“You were not exaggerating about this headache,” Alex said.
“We warned you,” Kim said. “Man, it’s almost better to die.”
“How do you have a headache, you’re made of metal!”
“It’s complicated,” Kim said. Her synthetic body did not spare her from the time loop headache, no matter how she rebuilt herself.
“Good morning everyone,” Helena said, as she whacked the door open with a crutch. “What did I miss?”
“Quiet down a little, please” Hawke said.
“Why?”
“Do you not have a headache too?”
“No, I died pretty early,” Helena said. “Got a frog on me.”
“You died from a frog touching you? What condition do you have that causes that?”
“Well it was a poison dart frog, so I guess ‘being alive’,” Helena said. Samson pursed his lips and said nothing. “What did you all get up to while I was busy being dead?”
“Vell found out the frogs were summoned by a weird frog-obsessed ghost,” Hawke said. “He apparently knows a guy who might be able to help.”
The loopers then proceeded to relax and chat about frogs, ghosts, and other miscellaneous topics for about seven minutes, which made it a lot less dramatic when Vell barged in and announced Garret would be unable to help.
“Oh come on,” Kim snapped. “What’s the point of knowing a ghost hunter if he never helps hunt ghosts?”
“He’s on some undersea mission to rescue lost souls,” Vell said. “Which makes it really hard to be mad at him.”
“And yet I manage,” Kim said. She didn’t begrudge Garret personally, but she had been hoping for their first easy win of the year. All the apocalypses thus far had been a major pain in the ass.
“Aren’t you people supposed to be able to handle things like this?”
“Yes, Alex, and we will,” Vell said. “Just would’ve been nice to have a professional on the job.”
“I’ll get the ghostbusting stuff ready,” Hawke sighed. He would’ve loved a chance to outsource their daily nonsense.
“Keep it on standby for now,” Vell said. “Ghosts have unfinished business or regrets. If we can help our ghost deal with whatever frog-related business he’s got going on, maybe we can fix this without having to bust anyone.”
“That’s your plan?” Alex said. “Be nice to the ghost that crushed a building and hope it goes away?”
“Yes,” Vell said, with a completely straight face. “And busting is plan B.”
“Bustin’ makes me feel good,” Hawke sang, as he grabbed all their various ghostbusting gear.
“True professionals at work,” Alex scoffed. Everyone else rolled their eyes and got back to work.
“Vell is an old pro at being nice to people,” Kim said. “Just ask Helena’s sister.”
“Don’t pat yourself on the back, Joan’s incredibly susceptible to manipulation,” Helena said. It was disturbing she’d say that, and even more disturbing she knew that. “That said, anyone dumb enough to get stuck as a ghost for decades will probably buy into your routine just as easily.”
“Thanks for your input,” Vell said. “I’m just going to go ahead and get started.”
He said that both because it was important and because it was an excuse to get away from Alex and Helena faster.
“Need any backup?” Samson asked, for similar reasons.
“I’ll check it out solo first,” Vell said. Historically speaking, he was the best people-pleaser, a dubious honor at best, but one that came in handy when dealing with a frog-summoning ghost. “I’ll let you know if I need backup.”
“Or busting,” Hawke said.
“Or busting,” Vell agreed. “I have to find out where the ghost is, for starters. I’ll be in touch soon.”
***
Finding the lair of the ghost was the first hurdle. As it turned out, the sophomore dorms had a lot of basements. Every building on campus had a lot of basements, so Vell was not all that surprised. At least these basements didn’t have booby traps or old experiment equipment in them. They mostly just had a lot of junk. Vell kicked aside some old food wrappers and scanned the room.
“Why do people treat these empty rooms like dumping grounds?”
“People are usually different when they think no one is watching.”
Vell whipped around and saw a transparent head poking through one of the nearby walls. A ghost if Vell had ever seen one.
“Oh, hi,” Vell said. “Uh, weird question, how do you feel about frogs?”
“I’m ambivalent at best,” the ghost said. “Are you looking for the frog guy? Because he haunts two rooms over.”
The ghost pointed to the right, down the hall, and Vell looked that way.
“Thanks,” Vell said. He took a few steps towards the door before spinning around to face the other ghost again. “Uh, do you need any help like, moving on? Finishing unfinished business?”
“Nah, we get wifi down here, so I don’t mind just chilling,” the ghost said. “Thanks for offering though.”
The ghost drew back into the wall and vanished from sight. While Vell was painfully curious as to how a ghost accessed wifi, he decided it was time to move on. The frog ghost was apparently close by, after all.
Vell followed the wifi ghost’s directions and hopped two doors down, barging into a subterranean room that was uncomfortably moist and smelled of mud and rainwater. Condensation dripped from the ceiling and onto Vell’s back, sending an unpleasant shiver down his spine. Unlike other rooms, this one was completely free of any garbage, but Vell took no comfort in that.
“Hello? Anybody home?”
A chill ran down Vell’s spine that definitely was not another drop of water. He waited two seconds, took a deep breath, and turned around.
“Hello.”
Vell was just inches away from another transparent face. This one had a slight green tint, with wide set eyes and a broad, flat mouth. Vell wondered if the similarities to a frog had been there during this person’s life, or if they just liked frogs so much their ghost had slowly shifted to reflect their passion.
“Hey! Hi, uh, nice to meet you,” Vell mumbled. “I’m Vell.”
“I’m Raine.”
“Neat, nice name,” Vell said. If Raine noticed the awkward hesitation in the compliment, he didn’t show it. “So, uh, I was wondering, well, I heard you were the guy to ask about frogs.”
The already wide eyes of the ghost got even wider, and visible excitement trembled through their spectral form. Vell began to think he may have made a mistake.
***
“So even though it’s the biggest frog in the America’s, the helmeted water toad is still only half the size of the Goliath frog,” Raine said. “Which must be wild for the helmeted water toad. Could you imagine crossing an ocean and finding out the people who live there are literally twice your size?”
“Must be pretty mindblowing, yeah,” Vell said.
“And that’s not even going into the real extremes,” Raine said. “Do you remember our pal P. Amauensis?”
“How could I forget,” Vell said, about something he had definitely forgotten.
“Not just the world’s smallest frog, but maybe the world’s smallest vertebrate,” Raine said. “Only seven point seven millimeters long, a literal fraction of the Goliath frog! Could you imagine meeting someone who’s only as big as your toe?”
“I actually did, once,” Vell said. “Shrink ray.”
“Oh. Was...was it weird?”
“A little,” Vell said.
“Wow. You almost know what it’s like to be a Goliath frog meeting a P. Amauensis,” Raine said. “I’m so jealous.”
“Yeah, I’ve done a lot of interesting stuff,” Vell said. “What about you, what’d you get up to when you weren’t studying frogs?”
Raine tilted his spectral head and stared blankly at Vell.
“You did do things other than study frogs, right?”
“Not if I could help it,” Raine said.
“Okay, uh...what did you like to eat?”
“Oh, I just ate food whenever I was hungry,” Raine said. “What I really liked to do was gather samples of different bugs and other frog dietary staples, so I could try to get a sense of their diet for myself.”
“Like, cooked bugs, or just raw, living bugs,” Vell said. He’d eaten a few different varieties of cooked bugs, just for the experience, but couldn’t imagine eating raw insects.
“If I could find them, yeah, live ones,” Raine said. “It got pretty hard after I got banned from the entomology department.”
“That’d do it,” Vell said. “So, did you, uh, go swimming a lot?”
“Oh yeah, all the time,” Raine said. “Until I got banned from the pools too. Trying to swim like a frog doesn’t work very well, and they got sick of having to rescue me, I guess.”
“You could’ve just swam like a person.”
“Why would I do that?”
“To...I don’t know,” Vell said. He was starting to feel like Raine’s entire life and unlife revolved around frogs. “Did you ever do anything, I don’t know, human?”
“Oh, I studied frogs,” Raine said. “Frogs lack the self-awareness to understand frogs. It’s their only flaw, really.”
“I see. So what’s your favorite frog?”
As expected, this set off a long rant, as Raine found it hard to pick a favorite and had to start listing pros and cons of various frog species. It was not exactly scintillating conversation, but it kept Raine talking instead of somehow summoning frogs. Vell kept reminding himself that was the real goal. He was not here to have a pleasant chat, he was here to prevent the frogpocalypse. Anything that kept Raine ranting was good. He was saving the world.
As Raine started ranking every existing frog species by maximum jump distance, Vell kept repeating that to himself. Saving the world, one frog jump strength at a time.

I met a girl on a dating app about three weeks ago since then, we’ve gone on two dates and planned on seeing each other again in two days we hooked up on the first date, and on the second date we spent all day together she lives around 125 miles for me so every time I plan a date to see her we try to spend as much time together and on our last date we spent almost 20 hours together AND had a brief conversation about exclusivity, and we both agreed that we wouldn’t sleep with other people. With that being said, I had a feeling that she was still talking to other guys which was fine, so I continued to use dating apps, last night a girl matched with me that lives in her area and something about it seemed strange, so I un added her. This morning she continue texting me like nothing happened and then out of the blue asked me why I like playing games, when I asked her what does she mean by that she told me that I matched with one of her friends on a dating app I explain that yes I’m still using dating apps but I am not currently actively seeing anyone but her at first she seem to understand, and was a little upset and then straight up said that she can’t see us together going forward and started using past tense words about us. I felt like she was overreacting, since we barely have gotten to know each other but told her that if she truly feels this way, then I respect her decision. She thumbed down the message and left me on read but now I’m genuinely curious was I in the wrong we’ve only been talking for barely 3 weeks now and I feel like exclusivity in terms of cutting everyone off and stop using dating apps comes much later in the relationship and I find it hard to believe that I’m the only man she’s talking to you right now. Lastly, I’m in no way putting down her character but on our last date , she trauma dumped on me and told me that everyone in her life tends to leave and she named a lot of people that made me think it’s something genuinely wrong with her I get it you have one bad boyfriend or one bad friend, but it seems like everyone always seems to exit out of her life.. I was willing to work around the long commutes to see her on her but I feel like even if we recover from this she’s going to continue to find issues with me. I forgot to add that last week she went off on me because apparently I’m following too many girls and that made her upset.

I wanted to share a solution that worked for me when I installed WhatsApp and could not receive SMS text upon installation. I found that my Verizon wireless call filter APP was conflicting with WhatsApp. A solution that worked for me was to uninstall callFilter app from Verizon, then go thru the WhatsApp install, then finally reinstall Verizon callFilter app!
Another thing to check is any VPN or call filtering apps you may have installed on your phone. Hope this helps!!

Note: I have written a huge post about my relationship with guy from Tinder. Here is only my thoughts about the situation that make me sad. And I feel I am still fall in love to him, but I'd rather forget it.
You can read it and leave me a comment if you wish.
I met a guy on Tinder. Before the date, he asked me about continuing the evening at his home. I said to him: "I like you, you seem like a good person, but I'm going to just meet with you and have some conversation. That's why I don't want to give you any expectations about continuing the evening."
We decided to meet in the city center and then go to a pub for a pint. Firstly, we went to the bench near the river and talked a little bit about everything. Then I noticed he tried to sell me his service as an artist. It was a little bit weird because it was a date and in my opinion, mixing private life and business is a bad idea.
Then we went to the pub, the evening was going well, we had an interesting conversation after he asked me about kissing. I wasn't against it because I liked him. During our first date, he invited me to the next date. We were going to go for a walk near the beach in the closest town to the city.
After this date, we didn't chat for a day or two, I don't remember. I texted him first, we had some conversation and he asked me if I could help him to prepare a business card for print. I could do it for him, but I don't like to mix private life and business, as I mentioned above. I said it to him and offered him help with advice. He answered me that I mixed nothing, and if I went to his studio, I would pay as well.
Then we were chatting about other topics and sex as well. He wanted that I showed him my underwear. I refused him. He said, if I show him it, he will be glad to see me again. I said: "It sounds like blackmailing, and if people like each other, they will be delighted to see each other without IF".
He texted me the next day and asked if I wanted to go with him to that town, and I agreed. We met in the city center and then went together to a train station. I felt some time he behaved a little bit cold, maybe just felt uncomfortable, I don't know. I usually have no idea what to do in a similar situation. I was tired after work and I felt uncomfortable because of him. We chatted not too much during our journey from the city to the town. When we came to the town he started to text somebody or listen to voice message from a woman. I felt uneasy because of it. It felt like he wanted to finish the date. I didn't tell him about my feelings. Actually, he explained to me that he was chatting with a guy who sold him one thing for a guitar.
Then we walked on the beach and on the way to the mountain I found two incredibly beautiful places where we spent a lot of time, just sitting there, chatting, kissing, and hugging. It was really pleasant for me. I was pleasant when we told positive things about each other when we walked holding hands when he kissed me every 5 minutes. It was a nice time. Then we went to have dinner at his familiar pub. To summarize, we were together for over 5 hours.
I invited him to my place the next day, he went to my town. Unable he wanted to try traditional cuisine from my country I offered him to cook together. And yes, we had great sex as well. We were together most of the day. After that he texted me when he came home: "I am a nice person, so kind. He spent time great. The food was delicious, etc". We chatted about this day a little bit, and then he texted me appreciation again and said: "You're very kind, bla bla bla... I wish you the best". I asked him if he was breaking up with me, he said: "No, see you soon".
After 2 days, I noticed he blocked me on Instagram. I didn't text or call him these days. So, did nothing. I was really surprised. I was unpleased because of it because we spent time well together, I thought so.
Two weeks have passed, but I can't forget him.
I am thinking about why he did it and I have some explanations for myself, such as

1. He wasn't going to have a relationship with me in the beginning. That's why he behaved cold a little bit and didn't talk about himself much.
2. He is looking for clients on Tinder + hookups. I think he estimates himself for his job. I asked him "What's up?" But he started to make excuses that 2 clients per day were fine. And I guess that my job is not cool for him (I worked as a store assistant and as a graphic designer on days off instead of his 20 years of experience as an artist). Maybe he worries about his social status.
3. He escapes from perspective long-term relationships because of a scare, sad background, or other reasons.
4. Maybe he has a long-term relationship but I don't really believe in it.

Honestly, I can't understand, if he didn't care about me, why he was so gentle with me? I didn't force him to kiss me as often as he wanted to do it. I noticed that he likes to check my personal boundaries. What I can let him do or don't? But if I disagreed with something he was polite and never forced me. Why he spent a lot of time with me? In my opinion, if you want sex, you are looking for a person who is okay for hookup.
What is your opinion about my situation?

For context, I am in University about 50 miles from where she and my parents live, so I commute every weekend and most weekdays to see her. I love her. Plain and simple, in so many ways. We used to work together until she got a better job recently. Yesterday was her birthday. I made her some cookies common in the continent she's from, and baked them into heart shapes. I also got her 25$ of lottery tickets, flowers, her favorite energy drink, and a handwritten card with a lot of writing and drawings of us and her cat. I dropped it off to her in the morning after an all-nighter (going through it with finals and papers right now) and drove to the University to work my full shift. First she texted me thanking me for the gift, then asked me "what the fuck" those cookies were and that she choked on them. I was sad, told her what they were, and she told me I shouldn't have cooked something as a gift since I'm a bad cook. (I am, but I've made other stuff that she liked in the past). She also complained that the whole point of buying lottery tickets is to buy them, not to scratch them (I disagree?). She texted me that I shouldn't have gotten her anything if it was just going to be low effort.
I saw her later that night after she got out of work, and she was mad at me. She said I ruined her birthday by giving such a low effort gift, and that I didn't care about her. She brought up that I ruined her birthday last year too (by not immediately stopping our text conversation about some other girl and wishing her happy birthday the minute it got past midnight). Anytime I responded that I did put effort into the cookies, she would just deny it. Incredibly frustrating since I know how much effort I put in. She was mad the flowers I got her were not in a boquet, only loose, which didn't make it seem like a special occasion. At the heart of it she was mad that my gifts weren't special? To me the card and cookies were plenty special but she just says that it was stuff I've given her other days. She started calling me ret*rded, to which I responded "You're mean to me and I don't like it". I don't remember much of what she said (I'd had 4 hours of sleep in the past 2 nights), but she doubled down and continued calling me a wide variety of hurtful words, from ret*rded to stupid to childish and immature. I was already long sobbing, and in the middle asked her to just hit me instead. She obviously refused. She asked if I even wanted to go on our trip this upcoming weekend. I responded yes, and she replied that maybe I don't if I don't care about her enough to get her a decent gift.
She's horrifically depressed, and I know she has some specific trauma in response to people not caring about her birthdays. I think that explains part of it. Still, I tried. I am also depressed myself. I've tried bringing it up to her a few times and she responds that I'm "always bitching too much" because my life is so perfect. Compared to hers its way better, yes, but that doesn't mean I need a reason to be depressed. She's also acted distant the entire Spring semester. I rarely spend time with her, and even more rarely is it time that isn't just "okay we can see each other for 5 minutes but I have to go in". We havent' had sex since January, or cuddling. I very much miss both of these things, and we've had (rare) opportunities for them shes missed because shes too busy sleeping (I'm not allowed in her appartment to join her, mom discovered we had sex).
At the end of being yelled at when she denied me a hug and told me essentially to go away, I had a nervous break. Honestly I've been working too much and I'm overwhelmed with needing to find a new second job and the immense weight of finals and final essays ,things breaking on my car, and now this. I sped off, her and her mom heard my tires squealing and uninvited me from the trip. I drove recklessly for about 2-3 minutes on backroads while scream-crying about killing myself and fighting the urge to drive into a tree. Not proud of it. But I am devastated about missing the trip. She backed out on us living together, and promised we could have time to cuddle on the trip. I honestly don't feel like I have anything to look forward to.
I do a lot for her. I drive two hours round trip every time I want to see her, sometimes even for 5 minutes to drop off some food before going back. I've spent the past academic year working to support our long-standing plans of moving out together (This past weekend was my first time having more than one day off in a row since accompanying her to her surgery in October). I bring her flowers weekly, at work I do all of the hard stuff for her and massage her shoulders if she feels sore. I bring her food from my University and any treats she wants from the surrounding stores. I always ask if she wants anything. I have never said anything hurtful to her. She apologizes when she hurts my feelings too much and she realizes it, like last night. I spend thousands on her, whether jewelry (the most expensive ring she lost), buying her contacts or paying big bills when shes strugglign like drivers' ed or her wheel bearing replacements.
She texted me that shes sorry I'm not going and that she hurt me but I need to control my emotions better. That she loves me so much and regardless of our fights she will always love me so much. I responded that I felt like an unappreciated chore and didnt want to get yelled at. She replied that I'm not a chore she just hasnt had time and has been too depressed to make time for me. We texted a bit and I slept a few hours until my final/work today. She clearly didn't like me defending myself by saying that if i got a present i didnt like i wouldnt call my partner a "worthless ret*rd" by responding "i never called you worthless dont put words in my mouth...i sent you messages apologizing and being worried and your response is victimizing and arguing more...not happy with ruining my birthday? had to go further and ruin the day after?"
We've been texting each other throughout the day happier things. She's been sending me recipes to be a better cook and wants me to see her for 5 minutes after work in about 2 hours from the time of writing. I want to be with her. I love her, I've done so much, I will continue. But I feel like I'm being verbally abused. And I don't know how to stop it. I'm so overwhelmed with everythign in my life and I really just need someone on my side. I think i'll just first establish a rule of not interrupting/yelling and then telling her how hurt and lonely I feel. That I love her and I can totally work with her on managing time for me and depression but that I cannot tolerate verbal abuse.
TLDR: Gave girlfriend cookies for her birthday. She didnt like them and called me a ret*rd. I had a nervous break from other combined stressors, made a scene with reckless driving, got uninvited to a trip with her and her mom. She is texting me recipes and being nice to me today. I will see her in a few hours. I am hurt and overwhelmed with life and just want to be treated like I'm loved.
Thank you readers

Seriously SO creative. The snow globe with the liars photo, the dollhouse, witty text/messages, and so much. Not that any of it is okay, but it's just always so incredible.

everytime I looked at old text messages and pictures, it feels like i'm looking at a complete stranger. I've been struggling to recognise voices and faces lately too. This whole thing was much worse a weeks ago and I feel like i'm recovering slowly and very gradually but I'm still struggling to act like what my former self was; I don't have the same humour, and its evident in my creative endeavours too.
Is there anything I can do to further reconnect with myself and feel human again? Would seeking out activities I've indulged myself in several months back help the recovery?

🎶🔊 Audiophile's Dream Garage Sale! 🔊🎶 Hi-Fi Gear Galore, Grab Your Deals Before They're Gone!
https://imgur.com/a/big-sale-time-to-sell-all-audeze-lcd-gx-lcd-2-x3-variations-maxwell-focal-clear-elegia-sennheiser-hd800s-hd700-5-amps-topping-violectric-schiit-19-items-all-nloQluc
It's that time again – my audio collection has reached critical mass! I've been happily testing and reviewing all sorts of awesome hi-fi gear, but now it's time to make room for the next wave of sonic adventures. 👋
Think of this as your chance to score some seriously sweet deals on pre-loved audio treasures. We've got headphones 🎧, DACs 🎛️, amps ⚡️, streamers 🎶, and more! Some prices are firm (gotta make a living, right?), while others are negotiable.
Why Buy From Me?

• Vetted Gear: Everything here has been personally tested and loved.
• Audiophile Approved: I'm picky about sound quality, so you know it's good..
• Pics & Timestamps: Happy to provide more pics and timestamps upon request.
• Clearance Sale Vibes: Bundle up and save on shipping! 📦

Where to Find the Loot:

• This Post: I'll keep it updated with what's available.Tried to post an updated list every weekend.
• My eBay:https://www.ebay.com/uscyackulic (530+ positive feedback!)
• My Reddit Trading History: Pretty solid rep here too! (8-10 trades?)

The Fine Print:

• Shipping is extra and to the lower 48 only.
• Prices are listed on each item, but make me an offer! You never know... 😉
• No lowballers, please. This stuff is too good for that.
• Serious inquiries only – tire kickers, move along!

Drop a Comment Below:
Questions? Requests for more pics? Let me know!
Let's make some audiophile dreams come true! 🎶
https://imgur.com/a/nloQluc

Headphones

• Audeze LCD-GX Audiophile Gaming Headphone w/ Mic & Carry Case - Black 3X Mint - $599.99 Paypal https://www.ebay.com/itm/145762988943
• Audeze LCD-2 Classic Closed-Back Audiophile Reference Studio Headphones - MINT $649.99 https://www.ebay.com/itm/145762988943
• Audeze LCD-2C Classic Open Back Headphones Mint $599.99 https://www.ebay.com/itm/145734324915
• Audeze LCD-2 2.2F Fazor Headphones - VERY RARE $649.99 https://www.ebay.com/itm/145727718143
• Audeze Maxwell Wireless Gaming Headset $269.99 https://www.ebay.com/itm/145736314132
• Audeze LCD-GX Audiophile Gaming Headphone w/ Mic $499.99 Normal White Audeze Box Very Good Condition $549.99 - Pics Upon Request
• Focal Elegia Closed-Back $299.99 https://www.ebay.com/itm/145741435949
• Focal Clear Reference Studio Pro Headphones $639.99 https://www.ebay.com/itm/145696395193
• Fostex TH900 MK2 Pearl White Limited Edition Ultra Premium Stereo Headphones $1299 - Pics Upon Request
• HIFIMAN Arya V3 Stealth Over the Ear Headphones $674.99 - Pics Upon Request
• HIFIMAN HE1000 V2 Stealth Magnet, Excellent Condition, One-owner $1249.99 Pics Upon Request
• Sennheiser HD800S Headphones - Very Good $824.99 https://imgur.com/a/ypnAmZ5
• Sennheiser HD 700 Headphones $449.99 Pics Upon Request
• Sennheiser IE800S In-Ear Headphones Audiophile Reference Headphones 349.99 O.B.O or Trade https://www.ebay.com/itm/145683092500?itmmeta=01HXAXZJH0XFRTQK2XE3ZGT2RQ&hash=item21eb639414:g:Z7AAAOSwDwFl~i6A
• Sony MDR-Z7M2 Hi-Res Headphones Closed Back ** READ** $324.99 https://www.ebay.com/itm/145754406951

AMPS/ Dacs

• Schiit Asgard 3 $239.99 https://www.ebay.com/itm/145718115046
• Schiit Lyr+ 2 SCH-03 Hybrid Tube Headphone Amp & Preamplifier $284.99 https://www.ebay.com/itm/145706454190
• Lake People Reference Series DAC RS 06 $699.99 - Pics Upon Request
• Violectric V222 Headphone Amp $999.99 https://www.ebay.com/itm/145771892209?itmmeta=01HXQYAD9HAW05CQXKMEFY0VAM&hash=item21f0ae8df1:g:78wAAOSwd9dmQEz5
• Topping A90 Headphone Amp $399.99
• OPPO HA-1 Class-A Balanced Headphone Amp , DAC, Preamp and NEAR MINT IN BOX - Nicest you will find! 4X MINT $999.99 - Pics Upon Request
• Bryston BHA-1 Balanced Headphone Amp in Factory Box , Mint $2100.00 https://bryston.com/headphone-amp/ Pics Upon Request
• Bryston BDA-1 DAC in Factory Box , Mint $1000.00 - Pics Upon Request https://richcolnonline.com/products/bryston-bda-1-dac#:~:text=[Bryston]%20BDA%2D1%20DAC%20%C2%B7%20$18%2C000.00%20%C2%B7%20$18%2C000.00,%2D%20$6%2C300.00%20%C2%B7%20$6%2C300.00%20%C2%B7%20%7C%20/.

Extra

• Google Pixel Fold 256GB Unlocked Used- Very Good Condition - $1199.99 Pics Upon Request
• Dell XPS 13 2021 Brand New Never Used Still Sealed $899.99 Pics Upon Request

Any questions, comments or more details message me please. I will update this list when stuff is sold and when I decide to sell other things. I'm not a dealer and not desperate to sell.

I don't really know what i'm looking for here. Advice? but also trying to find a way to write this down without it all seeming absolutely mental.
My father (55) has been an alcoholic for as long as i can remember. Growing up there has been more than one occasion me and my mum have fled to a hotel overnight or went and lived with my nan for a number of weeks before my dad would come begging for my mum (52) to come back (spoiler: she did). When I was 12 he pushed my mother into the fireplace and broke her arm. I remember being told we had to tell everyone that the dog did it running into her. It was always seemingly perfectly timed around some sort of important event (e.g the night before i had my first a level exam). I could list off things that have happened but we'd be here all night so i'll skip ahead. My mother never left him.
Back then he was what you would call a high functioning alcoholic. Binged Friday, Saturday and sometimes Sunday night but maintain the normal work week life. My mum would say he was a different person in the weekdays, on the weekdays he was David, and on the weekends he was 'Dave'. Over the years hes got worse but since the pandemic he has sunk so low that I didn't know it was possible without a body failing. He is his own boss now in his company and so with that mixed with work from home he will be binge drinking almost every night. When he drinks he is incredibly abusive to my mother. He will send her abusive text messages when she has excused herself to bed early. He has blocked her cards before when she goes out grocery shopping in order to embarrass her. He hides her items around the house. Broke her phone multiple times so she cannot contact me.
Just before the pandemic he convinced her to move away from her family to a new city 2 hours away (alot for uk) I'm now 28 living in Norway with a family of my own. I didn't set out to move to a different country but it has led to my mother being even further isolated. When we visited 2 summers ago and i was pregnant I walked in on him holding a knife to my mums throat in the kitchen and when I got him off her he tried to attack me (all was okay but incredibly scary). Ever since this i have been recording incidents down as they happen and sending them to myself so I have the memories as they were at the time incase i need it in the future.
I tried to get my mum to call the police and she is just too scared to do it. She is scared if she finds somewhere to go she will not be able to to take her dogs with her (2 golden retrievers) and they truly are her babies. He has also been working on her to tell her she is the abusive one, not him and that's where i lead to.
I talk to my mum on the phone almost everyday around 8pm so she can talk to her grandson a little and we talk about how things are. the last few days shes been telling me about my dads recent ailments. a few days ago he fell down the stairs from drinking and has smashed his shoulder in and needs an x-ray. He has turned this into saying my mother did it to him and she is abusing him. Last night he went out to get more alcohol and the bag with his red wine broke and smashed on the floor, he stood on it and got a deep cut on his foot. Now he is saying my mother has also done this to him,
Today I get a message on my phone from him telling me that he is filing for divorce from my mother on the grounds of physical abusive.... that she will get no money and its what best. she thinks he is clever enough that he will be able to pull this off...
I just can't believe the audacity of this man, but i'm also really scared for my mum. In my honest opinion he needs sectioning.
I wonder if anyone has been through anything similar with an abusive partner and have any outcomes they can share with me?
tldr: my abusive father is filing for divorce against my mother and saying she is the abusive one. She thinks he will be able to convince people of this and she will end up with nothing. How can i help her?

I have an overwhelming urge to tell my WH's AP's boyfriend what she does on the internet.
Backstory- DDay was 1 month ago. WH had an EA that was not really even that. Someone he found on Reddit on a NSFW subreddit. Someone inviting DMs to play. No emotional exchanges. Sexting naughty fantasies, her sending him pics of her engaging in relations with other men. Him reciprocating with dick pics and videos of him "finishing". All he knew was her first name, where she lived (out of state), that she was an alcoholic and had a serious long-term boyfriend that had no idea this is how she handles her days and "would be devastated to know" (her words in response to my WH asking her how her BF felt about them engaging this way, as per my own witness of such text)
When I found out about the sexting, after picking myself back up off the floor, I immediately went into detective mode. Paid for the background check, found out where she lives, her full name, where she works, etc... for no other reason then sheer madness and curiosity as I was seeking so many answers. But, I also figured out who that long term BF is... and I want SO BADLY to anonymously message him and share a few bits of proof of who he's really dating. It's coming from a place of "want to get back at hewant to save someone else from this heartache"
My WP and I are in early R. While I am still processing so much hurt, I know R is the right step. We are 11 years in with crushes on each other dating back to when we were 10 years old. (We're in our 40s now). 2 kids. Great, strong history. This all came about from my WH feeling lost after we had to humble and house-share with my parents post COVID/housing crisis. Our relationship became complacent due to our living situation. Towards the end of that, I got promoted at work to the tune of a million more responsibilities and good $$, as he was on the chopping block due to budget cuts at his. I stopped dealing with my post-partum healing and dove head first into that new position, working at home as often as I was working at the office. Oh, and trying to be superMom to 2 young kids. He needed serious validation and attention that he never once mentioned he was struggling with.
While we never stopped laughing or loving, we definitely started going through the motions, desperately counting the days until we had our own place again, my brain was healed, my work was more balanced and his job status was solid.
Fast forward 2 years . On our own again, in our own home. They saved his job. Mine is so much more balanced now that I've made it through that initial "OMG what did I agree to" overwhlem. Kids are happy. Sex life came back. (And we have a very adventurous one. Enjoy it all. Explore it all. Lots of play and fun. Lots of deep intimacy as well. Always has been.) The sparkle came back to his eyes.
But...I guess he just still needed to see her goddamn sex acts with other people, still kept engaging with her when she would reach out to him. Albeit a few months go by here and there in between. (I learned that this discovery of his that a woman on the internet thats not a porn star, but just like you and me, could ask to engage in that way so easily and discreetly, he became obsessed. Reached out to over 80 women. Had only 4 that actually became regular sext partners and it was daily) - so my warped mind is, like, "ok" with the fact that around the time we got better, he stopped reaching out to her. (She was the only one left) But every 2-3 months or so, she just can't fucking help herself, her "other lovers don't answer her anymore and...." Cry me a fuckin river...
I ripped into her via text the day after discovery from a ghost number. Laid her out with everything I could muster that wasn't a threat. Told her exactly who she was, exactly what she could do with herself, and exactly how disgusting and ugly and worthless she was to this world. (Not sorry).
I watched him end it. I watched her respond saying "Good because he was nothing to her anyway and how disappointing he was for doing this to her" and he promptly told her to go get hit by a bus. (And I am comforted when he says that if any of the women he made this mistake with were to be dead tomorrow, his life would go on with a skip in his step and no sympathy. They were "pieces of meat" to him. Not women. Incredibly mean words, I realize... and we are actually very non-hate-fueled, but that's how he processed this. It's how I need to, as well, to find my footing right now)
We've been doing ok. I feel and see his remorse. I have zero trust and he has been incredible about allowing me every ounce of everything I need as these weeks develop, post. We're going to make it through this, over this and beyond this.
But... do I tell? It's one of the last things I feel I need before I can start putting her out of my life and mind, and truly work on reconciling and rebuilding us/trust. And I don't even care what comes of it, except to go to bed tonight knowing... he now knows too. We're even.

I remember when the internet used to be seen as a convenience. This is no longer the case, and doing literally anything on it at this point is like pulling teeth. The entire internet has been redesigned to protect the absolute lowest common denominator, people who probably shouldn't even be able to use the internet in the first place. Types who will give blatant scammers typing in broken english all of their passwords, download random phishing files, etc. and instead of shaming them into learning, tech people have decided to destroy the internet.
Every single website has 2 factor, sometimes 3 or 4 factor authentication, you have to download individual apps for so many accounts, you constantly have to change passwords and make them increasingly "Unique", so it's genuinely impossible to keep track of them unless you keep a list, which just ends you back up at square one for security. I have four authentication apps on my phone, I've had to change my passwords on multiple student accounts sometimes 6 times a year, and since most websites do this password tracking becomes a clusterfuck and one solitary mistake is enough to send you down a tech support rabbithole nightmare.
Not only that but websites in general just do not function on a basic level, very frequently. I have been incredibly busy with job applications, scholarships, student loans, and registering for classes, and using every single website has been absolute torture. College board had a bug that blocked progress on sending SAT scores for 2 months, because it required me to click an option that didn't exist. Why did it take that long!? The PHEEA grant website (Which is extremely important) was literally "Under maintenance" for around a month, and I checked the website 3 times a day for that length. My student portal is littered with broken links, as was the last one I transferred from, and there are constant awful design decisions that clutter the website and make it incredibly difficult to navigate. There are 3 different passwords and 2 different authentication apps I've had to download to use it, and I forgot to write down my "alternative pin" which is, for a reason god himself only knows, the only way to register for classes, so now I have to call the IT department and recover it, because there isn't an option to do that. Why does this site need multiple passwords?? Why do I even need an "alternative pin"???
I just don't understand why this amazing miracle of technology has to be completely ruined to protect people who are probably going to accidentally walk into traffic or fall out of a window anyway. I don't want or need to have 3 different apps to authenticate student websites that a hacker might get into - what are they gonna do, pay my loans?? Register me for classes??? What is the point? Why do I have to spend several minutes going through apps and emails and my text messages to get into everything? Why are websites consistently broken or poorly designed and they take over a month to get fixed in almost every case?
I've adapted to this by exclusively calling places to place appointments, or figure out questions, just because the internet is so awful now. It doesn't feel even remotely reliable or convenient and the constant airtight security and 2 factor authentication on the website for something innocuous like the goddamned fucking Walmart site or my Student Loan account just makes me not want to log in in the first place. Honestly I feel like a boomer but it makes life so much easier. Has anyone else noticed this?

This is my first time posting on Reddit and I'm doing so now because I could really use support and perspective.
I've recently had a "falling out" with two of my closest friends who I've known separately for over a decade; I had also introduced them to each other and to many people in our pre-COVID community. Here are the facts of the recent events (everyone in this story is 30+ years old):

• I started seeing my partner (love of my life) 2.5 years ago. My partner is very friendly and kind and was excited to meet my friends. I noticed that my friend Claire was stand-offish about my relationship from the get-go, which I inquired about and she said it was because she was still recovering from her own breakup (from an emotionally abusive relationship).
• A couple of months after I met my now partner, I asked my roommate and good friend Gill to move out with 2 months notice. Context here: I invited her to move into my small 2-bedroom apartment about a year into COVID and she said she'd only stay a few months while she planned her move to another nearby city. She passively pushed the timeline back a few times (ie "as you can see, I haven't moved out yet, I think it'll be a few more months") which I was happy about at first because I enjoyed her company...until she started working from home full-time (which I already did) and also began struggling with mental health issues. So, I set the 2-month timeline. The rest of the story is that she flipped out after this conversation, left for a trip to visit family the next day, sent me a long angry email about how I've displaced her (a working professional and therapist) and that she found a place in the new city and would move out in 2 weeks. I kept my distance from her those two weeks and sent her an email saying that my intentions were not to hurt her, that I cared about her, and that I wanted to repair the relationship once she was ready; she sent a positive reply back. Then I never hear from her again and meanwhile heard from others that she was having a hard time "because of what I did to her".
• Fast forward a few months and I notice that Claire and my other close friend Jen - both of whom considered me a close/best friend and were not that close to my roommate - start actively avoiding me. They both stopped responding to my group messages and were "too busy" to hang out or jump on a call; but if I reached out to each of them directly, their respective texts are all friendly with lots of emojis. I even left a birthday present for Jen at her place (because she was too busy to see me) and she didn't acknowledge receiving it, just ignored my text message asking how she liked it.
• I definitely noticed this sudden change in behavior in both of them but I didn't know how to ask about it; their behavior felt punitive in some way and I felt scared to face it head on...for over a year. Until this week.
• Claire lives 2 blocks from me and I saw her heading my way the other evening - I was the only one outside - and she put her head down and "didn't see" me. I was floored. I got home and wrote her a text saying that it hurt to feel that she was actively avoiding me. She responded by saying that she "felt us growing apart", that she "didn't like how I treated close friends of ours", and that instead of having an "inflammatory conversation" she'd chosen to "love and support me from afar". Floored again. This one felt crushing. More context for you: I care deeply for people in my life and live my values of treating people kindly, empathetically, and with good communication. This text from my "close friend" absolutely shocked me. I responded with confusion and curiousity as to why she didn't talk to me about whatever it was she heard/witnessed, and also stated that suddenly disappearing form my life was niether loving nor supportive. My only assumption is that it has to do with Gill but I have no idea. All she said in response was in short "Thank you for speaking your truth <3 I wish you wonderful things." 💩
• Then I reached out to Jen. Jen has always seemed like a direct communicator, and she also is a high anxiety person. So this whole time, I assumed she might actually have been busy with work and life, and/or dealing with anxiety. I texted to say I was checking in because I hadn't heard from her in a long time and wasn't sure why - busy or did something happen?" She responded 24 hours later (last night) and gave me the same spiel as Claire "growing apart", "doesn't agree with my actions and treatment of friends". Floored AGAIN.
• I responded saying that I'm confused as to what she's referring to and I feel sad that she'd choose to distance herself instead of talk to me about whatever it is. Then I said "I value clarity and this sounds like a significant thing so can you please provide specifics around the actions and treatment you're referring to?"

I honestly have no idea what planet I'm on at the moment. I have what I thought were stable, mature adult relationships that would be with me for a lifetime. For two of my closest friends to form judgements about me (about something I have no idea about), not communicate with me about it, then actively ostracize me, is not only heartbreaking but makes me question my reality. Any advice on how to process this and let it go?

This is my first time posting on Reddit and I'm doing so now because I could really use support and perspective.
I've recently had a "falling out" with two of my closest friends who I've known separately for over a decade; I had also introduced them to each other and to many people in our pre-COVID community. Here are the facts of the recent events:

• I started seeing my partner (love of my life) 2.5 years ago. My partner is very friendly and kind and was excited to meet my friends. I noticed that my friend Claire was stand-offish about my relationship from the get-go, which I inquired about and she said it was because she was still recovering from her own breakup (from an emotionally abusive relationship).
• A couple of months after I met my now partner, I asked my roommate and good friend Gill to move out with 2 months notice. Context here: I invited her to move into my small 2-bedroom apartment about a year into COVID and she said she'd only stay a few months while she planned her move to another nearby city. She passively pushed the timeline back a few times (ie "as you can see, I haven't moved out yet, I think it'll be a few more months") which I was happy about at first because I enjoyed her company...until she started working from home full-time (which I already did) and also began struggling with mental health issues. So, I set the 2-month timeline. The rest of the story is that she flipped out after this conversation, left for a trip to visit family the next day, sent me a long angry email about how I've displaced her (a working professional and therapist) and that she found a place in the new city and would move out in 2 weeks. I kept my distance from her those two weeks and sent her an email saying that my intentions were not to hurt her, that I cared about her, and that I wanted to repair the relationship once she was ready; she sent a positive reply back. Then I never hear from her again and meanwhile heard from others that she was having a hard time "because of what I did to her".
• Fast forward a few months and I notice that Claire and my other close friend Jen - both of whom considered me a close/best friend and were not that close to my roommate - start actively avoiding me. They both stopped responding to my group messages and were "too busy" to hang out or jump on a call; but if I reached out to each of them directly, their respective texts are all friendly with lots of emojis. I even left a birthday present for Jen at her place (because she was too busy to see me) and she didn't acknowledge receiving it, just ignored my text message asking how she liked it.
• I definitely noticed this sudden change in behavior in both of them but I didn't know how to ask about it; their behavior felt punitive in some way and I felt scared to face it head on...for over a year. Until this week.
• Claire lives 2 blocks from me and I saw her heading my way the other evening - I was the only one outside - and she put her head down and "didn't see" me. I was floored. I got home and wrote her a text saying that it hurt to feel that she was actively avoiding me. She responded by saying that she "felt us growing apart", that she "didn't like how I treated close friends of ours", and that instead of having an "inflammatory conversation" she'd chosen to "love and support me from afar". Floored again. This one felt crushing. More context for you: I care deeply for people in my life and live my values of treating people kindly, empathetically, and with good communication. This text from my "close friend" absolutely shocked me. I responded with confusion and curiousity as to why she didn't talk to me about whatever it was she heard/witnessed, and also stated that suddenly disappearing form my life was niether loving nor supportive. My only assumption is that it has to do with Gill but I have no idea. All she said in response was in short "Thank you for speaking your truth <3 I wish you wonderful things." 💩
• Then I reached out to Jen. Jen has always seemed like a direct communicator, and she also is a high anxiety person. So this whole time, I assumed she might actually have been busy with work and life, and/or dealing with anxiety. I texted to say I was checking in because I hadn't heard from her in a long time and wasn't sure why - busy or did something happen?" She responded 24 hours later (last night) and gave me the same spiel as Claire "growing apart", "doesn't agree with my actions and treatment of friends". Floored AGAIN.
• I responded saying that I'm confused as to what she's referring to and I feel sad that she'd choose to distance herself instead of talk to me about whatever it is. Then I said "I value clarity and this sounds like a significant thing so can you please provide specifics around the actions and treatment you're referring to?"

I honestly have no idea what planet I'm on at the moment. I have what I thought were stable, mature adult relationships that would be with me for a lifetime. For two of my closest friends to form judgements about me (about something I have no idea about), not communicate with me about it, then actively ostracize me, is not only heartbreaking but makes me question my reality.

This is my first time posting on Reddit and I'm doing so now because I could really use support and perspective.
I've recently had a "falling out" with two of my closest friends who I've known separately for over a decade; I had also introduced them to each other and to many people in our pre-COVID community. Here are the facts of the recent events:

• I started seeing my partner (love of my life) 2.5 years ago. My partner is very friendly and kind and was excited to meet my friends. I noticed that my friend Claire was stand-offish about my relationship from the get-go, which I inquired about and she said it was because she was still recovering from her own breakup (from an emotionally abusive relationship).
• A couple of months after I met my now partner, I asked my roommate and good friend Gill to move out with 2 months notice. Context here: I invited her to move into my small 2-bedroom apartment about a year into COVID and she said she'd only stay a few months while she planned her move to another nearby city. She passively pushed the timeline back a few times (ie "as you can see, I haven't moved out yet, I think it'll be a few more months") which I was happy about at first because I enjoyed her company...until she started working from home full-time (which I already did) and also began struggling with mental health issues. So, I set the 2-month timeline. The rest of the story is that she flipped out after this conversation, left for a trip to visit family the next day, sent me a long angry email about how I've displaced her (a working professional and therapist) and that she found a place in the new city and would move out in 2 weeks. I kept my distance from her those two weeks and sent her an email saying that my intentions were not to hurt her, that I cared about her, and that I wanted to repair the relationship once she was ready; she sent a positive reply back. Then I never hear from her again and meanwhile heard from others that she was having a hard time "because of what I did to her".
• Fast forward a few months and I notice that Claire and my other close friend Jen - both of whom considered me a close/best friend and were not that close to my roommate - start actively avoiding me. They both stopped responding to my group messages and were "too busy" to hang out or jump on a call; but if I reached out to each of them directly, their respective texts are all friendly with lots of emojis. I even left a birthday present for Jen at her place (because she was too busy to see me) and she didn't acknowledge receiving it, just ignored my text message asking how she liked it.
• I definitely noticed this sudden change in behavior in both of them but I didn't know how to ask about it; their behavior felt punitive in some way and I felt scared to face it head on...for over a year. Until this week.
• Claire lives 2 blocks from me and I saw her heading my way the other evening - I was the only one outside - and she put her head down and "didn't see" me. I was floored. I got home and wrote her a text saying that it hurt to feel that she was actively avoiding me. She responded by saying that she "felt us growing apart", that she "didn't like how I treated close friends of ours", and that instead of having an "inflammatory conversation" she'd chosen to "love and support me from afar". Floored again. This one felt crushing. More context for you: I care deeply for people in my life and live my values of treating people kindly, empathetically, and with good communication. This text from my "close friend" absolutely shocked me. I responded with confusion and curiousity as to why she didn't talk to me about whatever it was she heard/witnessed, and also stated that suddenly disappearing form my life was niether loving nor supportive. My only assumption is that it has to do with Gill but I have no idea. All she said in response was in short "Thank you for speaking your truth <3 I wish you wonderful things." 💩
• Then I reached out to Jen. Jen has always seemed like a direct communicator, and she also is a high anxiety person. So this whole time, I assumed she might actually have been busy with work and life, and/or dealing with anxiety. I texted to say I was checking in because I hadn't heard from her in a long time and wasn't sure why - busy or did something happen?" She responded 24 hours later (last night) and gave me the same spiel as Claire "growing apart", "doesn't agree with my actions and treatment of friends". Floored AGAIN.
• I responded saying that I'm confused as to what she's referring to and I feel sad that she'd choose to distance herself instead of talk to me about whatever it is. Then I said "I value clarity and this sounds like a significant thing so can you please provide specifics around the actions and treatment you're referring to?"

I honestly have no idea what planet I'm on at the moment. I have what I thought were stable, mature adult relationships that would be with me for a lifetime. For two of my closest friends to form judgements about me (about something I have no idea about), not communicate with me about it, then actively ostracize me, is not only heartbreaking but makes me question my reality.

I am planning a one-shot on Saturday May 18th, 6pm CST. The purpose of this one-shot is to find 1 more player (I currently have 4 players) for my upcoming campaign. I am looking to see if there is compatibility between all players before starting the campaign. Both the one-shot and the campaign will have some homebrew (Legendkeeper page below has a section going over it).
One-Shot Overview: In the small quiet town of Luxus, a party of level 3 adventurers have stopped at the local tavern, the Crying Lynx, and while they were enjoying their rest, a priest of Ordo has come asking for anyone able to help solve a confusing and worrying set of deaths that took place in the church's holding cell.
Campaign Overview: A brief overview of the history of the world is that gods suddenly formed and used a power that was in the center of Saevalux, the Essence of Creation, to become immortal walking cataclysms. A betrayal caused a divide between the gods who formed two different groups, the Gods of Umbra and the Dawn Deities. The Essence of Creation suddenly disappeared causing these powerful gods to find themselves unable to escape from the divine domains that they at one point created. This lead to one god, Andras, to rise to power for some time before losing in the War of Fang and Sword. Now centuries later, the world is still recovering from Andras' reign but the world is slowly stating anew. This is incredibly shortened and the history is better explained in the Legendkeeper (It is not 100% finished): https://www.legendkeeper.com/app/cl3mfsqwwglbr08087ng33t44
Our Group: We’re a group of 5 (23/M, 23/F, 2?/F, 25/M, and 28/M), who hang out and play video games almost every day, and would welcome anyone interested in joining the group.
Schedule: We play every Saturday at 6 PM CST for around four hours.
Player Requirements: We’re looking for players who can play consistently and who are 21 or older, with a desktop and a good mic. It is completely fine if you have no prior d&d 5e experience as long as you’re eager to learn.
Joining Process: Please send me a direct message on Discord with a brief introduction.
Commitment: This campaign is designed for the long haul, likely extending beyond a year probably even two.
Contact: Discord username is helixthehare.

I am planning a one-shot on Saturday May 18th, 6pm CST. The purpose of this one-shot is to find 1 more player (I currently have 4 players) for my upcoming campaign. I am looking to see if there is compatibility between all players before starting the campaign. Both the one-shot and the campaign will have some homebrew (Legendkeeper page below has a section going over it).
One-Shot Overview: In the small quiet town of Luxus, a party of level 3 adventurers have stopped at the local tavern, the Crying Lynx, and while they were enjoying their rest, a priest of Ordo has come asking for anyone able to help solve a confusing and worrying set of deaths that took place in the church's holding cell.
Campaign Overview: A brief overview of the history of the world is that gods suddenly formed and used a power that was in the center of Saevalux, the Essence of Creation, to become immortal walking cataclysms. A betrayal caused a divide between the gods who formed two different groups, the Gods of Umbra and the Dawn Deities. The Essence of Creation suddenly disappeared causing these powerful gods to find themselves unable to escape from the divine domains that they at one point created. This lead to one god, Andras, to rise to power for some time before losing in the War of Fang and Sword. Now centuries later, the world is still recovering from Andras' reign but the world is slowly stating anew. This is incredibly shortened and the history is better explained in the Legendkeeper (It is not 100% finished): https://www.legendkeeper.com/app/cl3mfsqwwglbr08087ng33t44
Our Group: We’re a group of 5 (23/M, 23/F, 2?/F, 25/M, and 28/M), who hang out and play video games almost every day, and would welcome anyone interested in joining the group.
Schedule: We play every Saturday at 6 PM CST for around four hours.
Player Requirements: We’re looking for players who can play consistently and who are 21 or older, with a desktop and a good mic. It is completely fine if you have no prior d&d 5e experience as long as you’re eager to learn.
Joining Process: Please send me a direct message on Discord with a brief introduction.
Commitment: This campaign is designed for the long haul, likely extending beyond a year probably even two.
Contact: Discord username is helixthehare.

Link to AO3
chapters 1&2
chapter 3
chapter 4
chapter 5
chapter 6
chapter 7
chapter 8
chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
The Academy looked normal enough from the distance but blew Gentry’s mind when she finally entered it. First of all, the way in lay through a massive winter garden full of the most luxurious botanical collection she’s ever seen. Not only that, but it seemed to be arranged in a way that offered spaces for hanging out as well as paths in and out. Here and there, G noticed little nooks with people’s voices coming from them and small murmuring streams gleamed in the sun that blazed through the transparent walls and roof. This place looked magical and invited to stay, enjoy the refreshing coolness and peace of mind. But Gentry had a good enough rest in her communal room the night before and was eager to start working on her first assignment that the System had spat out with a congratulating letter. Figuring out the controls of her new wristcomm was simple enough.
DEAR GENTRY!
WE ARE DELIGHTED TO INFORM YOU THAT YOU ARE THE FIRST CONTESTANT TO CLEAR ALL CHALLENGES AND OBTAIN THE STATUS OF AN ASHTAPADAN NEWCOMER! YOUR MEDICAL DATA HAS BEEN ANALYSED AND FOUND ACCEPTABLE.
IN THE ATTACHMENT TO THIS LETTER YOU WILL FIND A LIST OF RULES, RECOMMENDATIONS AND IDEAS THAT WILL DEFINITELY HELP YOU IN THE FIRST WEEKS IN OUR BEAUTIFUL CITY BUT WE STRONGLY RECOMMEND FINDING A BUDDY THAT WOULD BE YOUR MAIN GUIDE AND POTENTIALLY A NEW GREAT FRIEND! IT CAN BE ANY CITIZEN OR A MORE EXPERIENCED NEWCOMER.
YOUR CURRENT POINTS: 0
WHY NOT START EARNING SOME WITH YOUR FIRST ASSIGNMENT?
START ANY BEGINNER COURSE AT THE ACADEMY AND KEEP YOUR ATTENDANCE RATE OVER 80% — WORTH 50 POINTS
(OPTIONAL) FIND SOMEBODY WHO IS WILLING TO BECOME YOUR BUDDY — WORTH 20 POINTS
Without stopping to check if the vending machines offered anything good, G made her way through the dreamy garden and entered the inner yard that looked just like everything here: nothing too eye-catching at first glance but secrets hidden everywhere.
One thing she had already noticed was that most of the people had another piece of technology on their bodies besides the comm on their wrists: a sort of extendable visor that some of them kept engaged at all times. Those who were focused on the screen had a comical look on their faces, a thousand-mile stare, eyes wide even as they were talking to each other or going about their business. It was unclear yet why they would engage the screen for so long though. No one needed this much time to read a notification or check a map.
Take a group of young students by the fountain, for example. They seemed deep in conversation with each other yet their pupils didn’t focus on the person in front, but on the translucent screen over the top part of their faces. Was it some kind of virtual reality helmet?
If so, G needed one, too.
Perhaps she’d be able to make new friends this way.
There was something else that caught Gentry’s eye. Despite her initial disappointment about the severe lack of male hotness in the streets, people of both sexes seemed to really care about their appearance. Even those who probably weren’t naturally stunning were very interesting to look at not least because of the crazy fashion sense everyone here had. Never before had G seen so much variety in what everyone wore: countless variations on different national garments, some looking very traditional, like something one could see in a theatre, some — futuristic uniforms straight out of a sci-fi movie. It didn’t seem like anyone was concerned with gender norms here, too. At least in when it came to the outfits.
G hoped she didn’t look like a creepy stalker when her gaze lingered on a pair of very nicely shaped legs stretching from underneath a plaid skirt that belonged to a young man in the group sat by the edge of the water. A pair of snow-white knee-highs, flat loafers and neat raven hair with some blue streaks completed the image. His clothes fit him very well and weren’t inappropriate in the least: something an old money university student would wear.
A female student that is.
And he wasn’t alone. Here and there, among more conventionally dressed people, there were people wearing all sorts of things: a crazy mix of goth-like apparel but barefoot, men and women with heads covered with scarves, people in strange jewelery that looked like it weighed a ton and so on. Most importantly, no one seemed to care what the others looked like.
Was it paradise? Looks like the demo didn’t lie: it was heaven on earth.
The young man in the middle of the student gaggle caught her staring after all. With a dazzling smile, he waved in her direction as if they were great friends, and G waved back, face heating, hoping there wasn’t anyone behind her this tease was actually waving at. Thank god his shoes weren’t heeled, otherwise she would definitely have a heart attack right here, in the middle of the common area, on her first day.
Did he notice her ogling his legs? Judging by the giggles of his friend's entourage, they all did. The young flirt covered his mouth, eyes wide in mock indignation and pulled his knees in, as if hiding them from the improper attention, getting even more laughter from the rest of the company. G averted her eyes and tried to calm her breathing as she was on her way through the yard again, but before they all disappeared from her field of view, she noticed the coquette stretch his legs again and fall back on a friend of his, embracing the lucky man’s neck in an affectionate gesture, already forgetting G existed.
There was no way she wasn’t going to make some pretty boy do the same for her. Forget the assignment, put that in the list of her top priorities!
At first, Gentry was lost when she failed to find any kind of class schedule and there was no one to ask at the reception desk.
Why have a reception desk if nobody’s on duty?
Soon, however, it occurred to her that there was no schedule: each room within the wide marble corridors had a small display with a handwritten message scribbled on it.
Bachata for beginners
Product engineering (Tuesday class cancelled)
Colloidal chemistry (revision today)
None of these were the Communications course that Jey was talking about, but the variety definitely made G’s eyebrows go up.
Was she just supposed to barge into any class and sign up? Did she have to sign up later if she liked the subject? Was it ok to choose any?
After some wandering around, too scared to just walk in uninvited or ask others for directions, she finally stumbled across the door saying:
Communication & decision making course (Newcomers welcome)
With the desks arranged in a horseshoe and the people of various ages that were also apparently Newcomers, it all seemed comfortably casual. Everyone was chatting as she walked in, paying G no mind so she busied herself with the wristcomm that dinged at exactly the right time to save her the embarrassment of looking for a desk.
Would you like to enroll in this course? Scroll down to read the description.
Was this damn thing a spying device? Did it just know which room she was in? Jey didn’t joke when she said the little thing was going to be her primary aid!
“Are you looking for somewhere to sit?” called a young red-haired woman at one of the paired desks. “Here, this one is free.” She had the auglasses on, like everyone else, but they were off, showing her lively face and a pair of sharp green eyes.
“Thanks,” G said, gratefully taking the offer. “I’m new here, don’t know how things work yet.”
“It’s alright, the course is very engaging, you’ll love it.” — the woman held out a hand — “I’m Sereen, what’s your name?”
G shook the warm palm. “It’s Gentry. And by new I mean I’m new to Ashtapada, not just the course. Literally arrived yesterday.”
“Really?” — S looked surprised — “Everything must be very confusing!”
“You have no idea,” G smiled. “I’m glad someone understands. Everyone’s friendly but acts as if giant mechanical dogs in the streets and a moss garden in the lobby are the most normal things ever.”
“Don’t worry, I was just like you when I first arrived, you’ll get the hang of it soon.”
“Hope so! Is that the lecturer?”
“Shhh...”
Just like everything else in Ashtapada, the lecture started out normal enough only to unfold into something completely alien to how things were normally done.
Apparently, the Communications course involved learning rationality, debating, logic, etiquette and god knew what else. It was supposed to give the future citizens tools to, well, communicate. G was given a booklet with some ground rules for beginners that included entries that sounded like something Sun Tzu would say if he studied debating instead of warcraft.
“The purpose of any argument is not to win it and not to change the other disputant’s mind. It’s to find the truth.”
“Always argue in good faith.”
“Don’t attack your opponent.”
“If attacked, dismiss the attack as if it didn’t happen.”
Well, hopefully, it only meant verbal attacks! G knew too well that when it came to physical violence, it was hard to ignore it.
Most of the rules looked straightforward enough, some were confusing.
“Seek challenge to your convictions. Avoid echo chambers.”
“Don’t seek being right.”
“Be mindful of your audience including yourself.”
“Avoid “Empty arguments” that don’t bring everyone closer to the goal of finding the truth.”
The lecturer, a willowy man of about sixty that drowned in his tweed jacket, started the class with a bit of small talk with the regulars after distributing the booklets to all first-timers. He made sure to give it to G face down so that his photo under the “About the author” title didn’t go unnoticed. He also made most of the “talk” part himself.
“I never took part in a debate,” G told Sereen, who was patiently waiting for the class to begin. “And never seen anything like these rules. Is it actually useful?”
“Oh, believe me, professor Poe will be ecstatic to talk to you about them. He can’t not start discussing his subject at the slightest provocation. Look.” — she raised her hand — “Professor, how was your weekend?”
The man wearily smiled. “That might seem like a meaningless question, Sereen, but it’s actually very much related to the topic we are going to cover today.”
“See?” — S raised her eyebrows with a suppressed smile. G giggled. This promised to be interesting.
“Our friend Sereen is a very polite person, isn’t she?” — Poe smiled at the class but his eyes glided over everyone’s faces, gaze turned inwards like he was reading an invisible text written on the walls. “But as kind as she is, I don’t think she’s actually interested in how my weekend went. Small talk is just a social custom we engage in to strengthen our social relations. Why don’t we just start a day by saying “Hi! I value our relationship and would like to fulfill my societal role!” to everyone we know? I would definitely prefer THAT over the small talk! He-he!”
The audience laughed politely. The guy seemed alright.
“However, just as we use different tools to fulfill this role in different contexts, so can the context of a logical problem steer our thinking towards a rational, that is, right, and an irrational, that is, wrong, answer.”
“Well, that’s not a given,” Gentry mumbled under her breath but it went unnoticed by S, who was already immersed in the lecture.
“Consider the famous René Descartes’s quote "Cogito, ergo sum". Who can translate it from Latin?” — the board behind the thin, almost transparent man glowed, displaying the words.
“Is it really a Beginner’s course?” G asked Sereen in a low voice but her companion was already raising her hand, together with a dozen other students.
“I think, therefore I am,” she said after a curt nod of the lecturer’s permission.
“Very good,” he continued, pleased. “I taught you well. Those of you who attend my lectures regularly are familiar with the notion of solipsism, which states that the only thing we can be sure about is our own thoughts.”
Gentry looked at S with raised eyebrows.
If this is an introductory course, what was the advanced like?
Sereen didn’t seem to perplexed. She was fully following the thread.
“However,” professor Poe said. “I am going to challenge that notion by demonstrating that we can’t trust our own mind when it comes to perceiving reality.”
He looked at the audience with a quizzical eye, and pointed at Gentry with a long bony finger “You, new girl. I want you to close your eyes.”
Why her?
Gentry was only happy to hide behind her eyelids. No doubt the whole room was now staring at her.
Through the blood rushing in her ears, she heard the old man’s voice, “Who was sitting beside you before you closed your eyes?”
“My new friend Sereen,” G answered and heard a little gasp of appreciation from the woman.
“So you know she existed as long as you two were whispering behind my back. However, now that you can’t see or hear her. How do you know she exists?”
“Well, I can reach with my hand and touch her,” Gentry said, demonstrating.
“Yes, this is what most people answer,” Poe said. “You can open your eyes now. But let me ask you this: how would you know it was her, an not some other person that took her place?”
Gentry’s intuition was right: everyone was staring, as if waiting for her answer.
“Well, I suppose— ”
“Hush, it was a rhetorical question,” the professor cut her off. “The correct answer is that you can’t know that. We think we can trust our senses or at least our thoughts, but this is also false. Everyone, look out of the window.”
Everyone did.
The day was as fine as Gentry was annoyed.
What did this pops think of himself?
“I’d ask what you see, but I already know the answer,” he went on. “All of you would say “the sky”. And all of you would be wrong, because sky doesn’t exist. We only see the endless emptiness of the outer space, but perceive it as a blue dome. It’s an illusion, a phantom, born out of our collective unconscious.”
Sereen whispered, lost in the lecture, “Ah, yes, Carl Jung.”
What?
Was it supposed to be obvious?
“But listen to this,” he continued, voice booming like a demiurge’s in the completely silent room. “Listen to this. How many words is it? Listentothis. Our common sense says it’s three words while in reality it’s just a string of sounds I an producing with my mouth. I am literally making you hallucinate the spaces between the words I’m saying. With knowing that our perception is so flawed, how can we know that we even know how to think?”
“I’m sorry, professor, I disagr...” G started but got struck down by his serrated gaze.
“I’ll invite questions at the end, young miss,” he chopped out.
Sereen’s eyes were sympathetic. It looked like most if not all of professor Poe’s students had learned not to interrupt him.
He went on, “Anyway, the fact that you even understand what I am saying is in itself incredible and shouldn’t be possible.”
“But it IS possible, right?” G whispered to Sereen. “I mean, aren’t we understanding this as he speaks?”
“PLEASE refrain from talking unless asked!” professor Poe roared.
Impressive lung capacity for such a frail human being!
G begrudgingly did as she was told. The guy seemed to be enjoying this power trip a bit too much to her taste.
“Now, since most of you,” he put some emphasis on the word to shut up another pair of whispering students. “Most of you think you comprehend my words, you must know that there is a way to tell that something is real, even though we can’t rely on our senses for perception. I’m giving you a minute to discuss with your partners what it might be.”
G considered it. She and Sereen exchanged equally confused glances.
Like a dutiful student, S started summarising Poe’s arguments but Gentry listened with only half an ear. She felt that behind all this over-thinking was a clear and simple answer.
She watched the professor walk along the aisles, tuning into one or another conversation before leaving each with a smug head shake of disapproval.
What was there to think about? Even if they didn’t see the world precisely as it was, something was definitely real, right? The chair she felt under her buttocks, the air around, the low murmur of the students. The annoying professor that… looked a little too translucent.
Gentry waited for the man to approach their desks and tune into Sereen’s musings. As he came so near they could reach out and touch him, Gentry did just that.
To her utter shock, her hand went through the old jacket and sent a wave of static over the professor’s figure, his whole form glitching and flickering.
Professor Poe was a hologram!
Unable to help herself, Gentry said, “No wonder you don’t think anything is real, Professor, you are hardly real yourself!”
The whole roomful of people stared, transfixed, at the surreal scene of a student’s arm disappearing into the teacher’s abdomen.
Gentry looked back at Sereen in search of support.
Was it laughter in her eyes?
Poe’s blood drained from his face, the mouth slacked open, twitching as if trying to form some words, but none came out.
Sereen chimed in, “You never told us you were a simulation, Professor.”
“Out!” Poe gritted lowly so that no one really heard him.
“I’m sorry?” G asked, innocently.
“Out of my class!” he exploded, jumping out of Gentry’s reach with an enraged grimace. “I am as real as you are!”
G stood up and looked at her hand then back at Professor Poe.
How much rage could storm in those watery eyes?
Then, she winked at her new friend.
“Let’s go then, shall we?” she said.
Sereen looked lost for a second, her eyes darting pack and forth between Gentry and Poe. Then, her gaze seemed to cloud a little, as if she retreated into her own head, but when she resurfaced, she nodded with a mischievous smile.
Both young women left the room, the classmates’ sympathetic silence and Poe’s angry seething seeing them off.
***
“What a way to start my first day,” Gentry said. “My hands are still trembling a bit.”
She and S were calming their nerves in the green winter garden, the soothing sound of the little running streamlet at their feet a welcome distraction.
“Believe it or not, his course is actually quite useful,” Sereen laughed. “Who would have thought the old Poe is actually not human? I guess we never thought of poking him in the stomach before. This is going to be the talk of the Academy for the next month or so!”
“Is it? I feel bad now. I guess I’m not getting any points for attending this lecture, right?” — Gentry checked her wristcomm — “It says “zero progress” and something else… ad.. Honi… adhonim…”
Sereen laughed, “Yeah, you adhominem’ed good old Poe, no wonder you got zero credit!”
“What does it mean?”
“You’ve seen the rules of learning and discourse, right?” S said. “There are no-nos, things that aren’t allowed, especially when it comes to Rationality classes and the like. Ad Hominem means an attack on the speaker, not their argument. It isn’t exactly what you did, but I guess it’s the closest thing!”
“Ad Hominem, huh,” G said. “Well, I guess I deserve it then. Thanks for standing by me.”
If it wasn’t for Sereen, G wasn’t sure she would be going to return to the Academy any time soon!
“You just chose a wrong course as your first class, G,” — no doubt about that! — “But another lecturer who works here is much more open-minded and he also teaches Rationality. I think you’ll enjoy him more than our old Poe. His next class is in a couple of days. Wanna come?”
***
DEAR GENTRY!
CONGRATULATIONS ON COMPLETING AN OPTIONAL ASSIGNMENT! 20 POINTS HAVE BEEN ADDED TO YOUR STATUS COUNTER.

Hey, I (f16) got into this pretty messy situation. An exchange student (m16) from Spain had the nerve to ask me out (he’s been staying here for a month, leaving in June). I warned him I’m too difficult for relationships, but he took the risk. Things were going smoothly. He was very forward and wanted to be intimate a lot. It was excessive at times but i convinced myself it was a compliment. I was (still am) super inexperienced, so it was a shock, but I went with it despite being uncomfortable. One day, I got overwhelmed and started drunk-texting about how I’m scared that he’s using me for my body, as i’m incredibly self conscious and paranoid. He claims this opened his eyes and he felt uncomfortable to lead the relationship any further, so he broke up with me.
Now, a few hours before he broke off the relationship, he was texting my guy friend about what he’s supposed to do. My friend told him not to break my heart and to try to understand. He claimed his original goal in my home country is to get as many girls as possible and how he wants to hook up with a specific girl. Obviously, my friend showed me these heartless messages, which shattered my heart. Ouch. I ignored the dude for a few days, and he texted me we need to discuss it, etc. I said yeah, I totally agree, and upon his arrival, I started a massive rant about how ashamed he should feel. It was bad, and I was quite mean, but assertive. We’ve been ignoring each other, and I feel like I can’t peel my eyes off of him. I miss him; I’m trying to understand him, even though he did something so terrible and heartbreaking. I feel sympathy for a massive jerk, and I wish I could fix things.

So my wife just had an "interview" with a hiring manager at ABL GmbH, supposedly. A recruiter from ABL sent her a message asking if she still wanted the position. She had in fact applied for a job at the company, so that part wasn't particularly odd. She was told the interview would be over Zoom with a hiring manager. Okay, sure that makes sense I suppose, it's a German company. But then she gets text from the hiring manager saying the entire interview was going to be over texting, not Zoom. Red flag #1.
The interview proceeds and she confirms basic info like name and city, then goes into a spiel about company history and values and such. She asks some pretty basic job interview questions. Then the hiring manager says she will get the responses to her team and 20 minutes later messages back and says my wife can have the job. Red flag #2.
They said that they would email her the proper tax forms and on-boarding packet and she could start training immediately. However, my wife had also told them she currently has a job, so she thought it would be incredibly weird to ask her to either work two jobs or quit her other one immediately without notice.
However, we both have a list of questions we ask during interviews such as PTO and sick time policy, what schedules are available, opportunities to move up, etc. She also mentioned she wanted to talk to me before accepting any job offers. The "manager" said it would all be explained during onboarding. Red flag #3 and they're out. My wife responded by saying she didn't want to accept any offers without those details first and she was immediately ghosted by the "manager."
I'm positive this was some kind of scam attempt, but I wanted to know if anyone knew about this company or what this scam would have entailed. Were they looking to get my wife's sensitive info from the paperwork? That's all I can really think of because they didn't ask her for any specific personal information during the "interview" or was it going to be one of those things where they hire you but never pay you?

I'm going to try my best to lay out the facts of the situation as best as I can. I started a small business about 11-12 years ago, in the beginning it was more of a hobby that I was able to make a little extra money with while also working a full time job. After 3-4 years it had grown into something that was able to fully support me and I've "been my own boss" ever since. I feel really proud of what I've been able to accomplish and I'm also very grateful for the flexibility it provides for me and my family.
in 2018 I started dating my current husband, because of his job he has moved several times across the country, and I knew that if we were going to continue dating/get married that it would also mean moving every few years. Because of the nature of my business it didn't seem logical to try to take it on the road with us. I was able to do 75% of the work for the business myself at the time, and also had a part time employee (30F), we will call her Katie, that would help during busy seasons. My sister (39F) (we'll call her Ashley) at the time was looking for flexible work and I liked the idea of having someone I could trust take over and run the in-person operations of the business in my absence, while I take care of everything that could be done remotely. Initially this was offered to Katie, but she turned it down, and Ashley was very interested in the opportunity. As much as I didn't want to get involved working with family I went ahead with the plan and we came to a verbal agreement on pay and expectations.
Well shortly after I moved away and Ashley took over, Covid hit and we got significantly busier than we had ever been before, to the point that Ashley was not able to complete everything by herself. Katie agreed to come back full time and the business was able to support all 3 of us. Since then it has grown slowly still and we now have 4 full time employees (including my sister and myself) as well as some seasonal staff.
About a year into this new working arrangement, Ashley and her family decided to buy a house about 45 minutes away from where the business is based. At this point Katie was managing most of the daily operations anyway, and Ashley has transitioned to helping more with online customer service and a few things that can be done remotely. Katie took over the permanent position of production manager and Ashley has kind of phased out of any of the daily hands on tasks.
Now a little about our personalities! I am a pretty straight forward laid back person. I'm admittedly not very good at managing people because I just don't want to be bothered with the drama. As long as things are working and moving, that's all I really care about. now IF I need to get involved or address an issue, I will. But I prefer if I don't have to micro manage and be up in people's business. I prefer direct communication, I can probably come off a bit dry and possibly rude if you don't know me.
Ashley is very Type-A. She likes to be in control of all situations and she is very opinionated. She has a hard time seeing other people's perspectives and she can get very stuck on the little things that I generally would just let roll off my back. Her stress and anxiety levels can get rather high.
Since she is my sister, I've known this about her my whole life and I generally am able to ignore the majority of it and everything works out. Every once in a while I need to vent to my husband about something she said, but mostly our working relationship is fine. I think if our roles were reversed and she was the "boss" things would go very differently, but because I maintain 100% ownership and control over the business, ultimately things have worked.
Now, because of our original financial agreement, which is commissioned based/percentage of the profits, I feel that she is significantly over paid for the tasks that her job description has slowly turned into. It's been this way for a few years but because she's family, because I'm not able to be located where the business is, and because we can ultimately afford it, I've kept her employed and paid her according to our original agreement.
Because of her "personality" The other girls sometimes have a hard time working with her and I often hear complaints from them about her micro managing them or her rubbing them the wrong way. She will sometimes come into the office and try to change their systems around, or be involved in processes that really have nothing to do with her and it frustrates everyone. A lot of the time she thinks her way of doing things is going to be better and tends to overstep a lot. When I address these issues with her often she'll get emotional and/or lash out at me in what I consider to be childish behavior.
She's not all bad, a lot of what she's done is good, and I know that she always MEANS well... even if she can come off strong. She is constantly looking for ways to expand and grow and I appreciate that about her. She comes to me with ideas regularly, and although many of them I consider bad ideas and I do turn down at least half of them, there are several that I say yes to, or give her the green light on. I know this frustrates her but I see it as my prerogative as the business owner to say no. I like that she can be another set of eyes for me and can also help me address issues with the other employees as they are not perfect either and I am a remote boss so I don't get to always be there in person.
Lately I find myself getting more and more frustrated with her, I have heard her in the past say to people that she "owns the company with me" which is false but I've never corrected her because really it doesn't matter that much to me. I know I maintain 100% control of all business matters and finances. However, her attitude lately seems to portray more and more that she actually believes what she says. She'll change settings that I have set intentionally, and do things without permission or even a heads up to me. Ultimately it came to a head yesterday when we were having a conversation, not seeing eye to eye, and I had to set a boundary with her. She then proceeds to send me an incredibly passive aggressive email. I sent her a screen shot of said email via text message and said I will not tolerate her being passive aggressive towards me. There was no response from her until this morning when she sent me a text about how I also have things I need to change and that I only ever fault her for things and that I am rude, and that she doesn't know what I want from her. I think because I'm the only one that can stand up to her and I find myself trying to bridge the gap with her and others a lot I end up being the "mean one" in her eyes. Admittedly I am not perfect, however I do try my best to speak to her respectfully even if it may be a bit dry and direct.
I know that letting her go will mean a little bit of fall out from my family and make things a bit awkward when I come home to visit. I think ultimately most of my family understands how she can be and won't completely fault me for not being able to put up with her anymore. I don't want to take the income away from her and her family, as I know they rely on it and are trying to build a new house and have children. I also know that letting her go will mean more work for me in the long run, and I would have to hire and train a new person as customer service/account manager. I am also expecting a new baby later this year and not having her to run things while I take a few weeks off will be hard as well. However I just find myself struggling more and more with wanting to put up with her.
How should I go about addressing and navigating this issue?
TL;DR: My sister and I have very different personalities, she works for me and I've made the relationship work for several years. I think she's overpaid but also she's my sister so I've made it work. But the emotions are getting to be too much and the bad might be outweighing the good at this point.