Youth shotgun turkey

A couple of years ago I tried writing my own version of Stones Abbigale. I never got past the first couple scenes, but I'm considering returning to it. I wanted to basically rewrite and change up a lot of things, mainly focusing on Abbi and Davis and changing some elements. Let me know what you think!

1
It's almost four in the morning and Seth is threatening suicide again. Good. Fuck him. I hope he does it. I don't text him that because I read about this girl who told her boyfriend to kill himself. The irony was that when he actually did it she got charged with second degree murder. My life is fucked as it is I don't need to make it worse. I’m shivering under my comforter because we’re halfway through November. I think about the turkey that won't get made this year and the family I won't see. I think that's swell. Seth is still texting.
Its like u dont even care after everything that happened and after everything we did together i saved ur life and i stayed with u when u cried and i hugged u and i did everything for u but that wasn't enough was it? i try so hard and all u ever are is a bitch to me that's not fair u want me to die and u hate me and u dont even care and im sick of it abbi why is is so hard for u to care about me?
I don't respond. I don't like how I feel about this. This should be easy. He won't actually do it. He won't. He’s too self involved to kill himself. I put my phone face down on my bed. The sheets shake around it as he sends message after message. I was sleeping on a ticking bomb so I got off of it. My feet stick to the floor, I struggle to step. I might as well have been standing barefoot on ice. I trudge to my window so I can see my street at night. Winter is really coming. You can't hear as many birds as you used to. They've all gone. They've all flown away. I can see three streetlights from where I’m standing. If you can from right to left you can see the concrete fracture into the sand. I open my window and brace for the chill. I stick my head outside. The ocean is not far away. I hear it hitting the shore over and over. Waves of water splashing incessantly, almost beating out my text notifications. The street lights flicker. I think of last summer. When Seth and I got really high after the news broke that my Mom was cheating on my Dad. I was making out with that bong. Emptying bowl after bowl, clanking the glass on the road to empty it out. Just thinking about it makes me feel the street pole against my back again. I was laughing and crying. Seth leaned in and hugged me. “I’m a sure thing,” he said. “I love you and I always will.” I caught my reflection in his sunglasses. I looked awful. I shiver at the memory. My phone is still buzzing. I try to catch my breath. I shut my window and start to walk back to my bed. A room always looks different in the dark. Maybe you think you know where you are, but there is always something that can jump out at you on the floor. Like a ghostly paper bag or a vengeful shoe. Objects that seem to move on their own with the sole drive of tripping you. I crawl back into bed. There's the phantom of Dad’s snoring . I know he's not sleeping in his room, he fell asleep on the couch after finishing his seventh fifth. Sometimes my brain fills in the gaps so I can hear it everywhere. Funnily, I haven't actually heard him snore since Mom left. That's the one thing I ever heard them fight about. Before she turned out to be a whore, I guess. BZZT.BZZT.BZZT. I can't bring myself to read any of his messages. They're coming so fast all the paragraphs are lost to motion blur. Seth’s arms wrap around me and I think about the beating of his heart and the warmth of his lips against my skin. I open up the texts, ready to respond.
I love you
I text this over and over until I fall asleep.
Davis was the only senior on the bus. Somehow, everyone else had a car or a ride. It’s all right, though. James would probably give him one if he had a car, but he skated to school every morning. That's why he barely ever rode the bus with him. The bus thumped along the under paved roads. Davis forgot his earbuds at home, so the only music that accompanied him was his racing thoughts. Two sophomore girls popped their heads over. “Ohmigod, Davis!” One of them shrieked.. “As I live and breathe,” he smiled. “Nice,” she said. “I’m so excited to see your finished painting.” Davis took the lower level art class for a requirement. Like most things, he's not taking it very seriously. For their pop art unit, he's painting a portrait of the art teacher with a warthog face. It's one of his funny disruptions. He knows Mrs. Stanley is going to have a real field day with it, but it doesn't matter. Artistic liberties, he’d profess. “She's such a bitch, isn't she?” The sophomore girl turns to her compatriot, who only nods in response. “She's just jealous,” Davis says. “It must be depressing to teach art and see the youth soar above her.” “For sure,” the girl doesn't get it. Class clown is a semi-heavy burden. Davis doesn't really feel like talking to these girls, but his position demands it. Comedy informs everything about him. To the giant thrift store jeans, to the loud Hawaiian shirt. He and James are the ultimate combination, at least he likes to think so. Quiet brooding begs for bright distraction. The girl is still trying to talk to him and Davis is saying his preprogrammed lines. The bus stops in front of James’s street. Surprisingly, James is standing there. “Like I’m this close to just filling my hydroflask with vodka, yaknow?” says the chick. Maybe she's just trying to get a rise out of him. “Better be prepared to give me more than a sip,” Davis is watching James grumble towards the bus. The sun is beating down on the forming ice puddles. James stomps through them with small shattering steps. James turns up the bus aisle and plops in the seat next to Davis. Davis’s smile is genuine now, but he fights it from getting too wide. “Crash your vehicle?” Davis asks. “Something like it,” there's something off with him. Davis doesn't want to push it. “Well damn, hope insurance covers it,” Davis wants James to break and laugh. Is it just another mood or did something actually happen this time? “It won't, I got bad credit,” James grins and it's like heaven. “What's the move for you today?” “Surviving art and physics for me,” says Davis. “Those bastards love to keep me down.” “Who doesn't,” James eyes the girls who have since returned to whatever they were doing before. It's the judgement stare, as Davis calls it. James likes to observe his peers like a zoo-goer. Breaking them down to taxonomic types. Davis likes to think that James doesn't do this to him, but he knows he probably does. “It sucks you decided to be bad at school and take baby art,” James is still dissecting the sophomore girls down to their tropes. “We could have done Art II together.” “I wouldn't want to get between you and Alex. I know how you love it when people piss in jars next to you.” “That's disgusting,” James breaks his glare at the girls. “It's performance art, it's beautiful,” Davis gets up out of his seat to yell. “Everyone witness the wonderful work of Alex Madov! Disengage yourself from the shackles of capitalism by shouting with me: Poopy, pee pee, poop!” Davis gets a few chuckles from the other kids on the bus. “Sit down, fatso,” mumbles the bus driver. “I will not be silenced! I’m a messenger of the good word, sir!” “More of this shit and I’m skipping your stop!” “Fine, but I will make Alex remember on the day of judgement,” Davis sits back down. James is full belly laughing. “You're so retarded,” James wheezes. Davis can't even come back with a response. He's high off of it.
The bus pulls into the school lot with a short stop. The mobs get up and begin to race out. Davis follows James down the line. “You know Abbi?” James asks. Davis feels a little pit form in his stomach, but he doesn't change his expression. “Vaguely, what about her?” “She's in my art class,” James begins. “And I think … well you know, I’m going to talk to her.” He walks down the steps and out the door. “Doesn't she have a boyfr-” before Davis can descend the driver's arm blocks him. “I’ve had enough of your shit, kid,” he says. “If you keep being obnoxious, I’m gonna find a way to make you pay for it.” James looks back, but he can't stay. Davis knows that he's gotta get to class. James does a little wave goodbye and Davis salutes him. “Are you even listening to me?” the bus driver seethes. “Yes, sir. Divine retribution, got it.” Davis ducks underneath his arm and exits the bus. James has already disappeared into the crowd.
I pass the bong to Ashley. She starts another bowl. She’s the transport and I provide the material. The little things that keep our friendship afloat. I look at the clock in her car. “It's 8:45,” I pick a piece of bagel out of my teeth. “So that's it, we officially missed first period,” Ashley tops it off. “They won't mark us, you know. It's a study.” “Yeah, but when's the last time we signed in? I heard they're changing the policy again. Do you still have the lighter?” I toss it to her. I don't get it. It's always her idea to pick me up so we can smoke before school, why now is she suddenly caring about attendance? “We're pretty girls, we can get out of it. I’m next,” I tap on the clock. “Are you sure it's not fast?” She shakes her head as she takes a snap. We're parked in the pond area a block or two from the school. It's our designated smoking spot. I like it, even at the end of fall it's pretty. I’m so engrossed that I don't realize her tip out the bowl and put it back in the cup holder. “I don't know if it's wise to keep up the activity, we should probably get going soon,” she starts up her car again. “Okay,” I say. She reverses and swings out of the lot. We lean into the silence and it's super weird. “Seth texted me last night,” I wait for her reaction. “Oh,” she grimaces. “What did you say?” “That I loved him.” Silence again. Ashley's trying to put together something well-meaning while understanding that I’ll probably ignore whatever she has to say. “Abbi, I’m not trying to tell you how to run your life, but …” Her expression is now quizzical. She's said what she is about to say a number of different ways all ready. She thinks and thinks and decides to say nothing. Good call, I would have screamed at her. Not because what she thinks about my situation isn't true, I’m just in a ‘screaming at people mood’ because of it. “I’m going to dye my hair again,” she changes the subject to avoid conflict. Classic Ash. “Oh yeah? What color this time?” “I don't know,” she checks her reflection in the rear view. “The red has faded out, maybe blue or pink this time.” “You should go with a softer pink,” I say. “Since you're a soft spring.” “Yeah, maybe.” We enter the school lot. “Listen, do you want to get together when I do it? Maybe you can dye your hair too.” “I don't know, I might be busy,” I say. “Seth might want to do something,” I pause for her to protest. “Okay,” she says. She parks and we get out.
I barrel into art class. I don't care if I reek, out of all the teachers I can tell Mrs. Stanley smokes the most. It would be hypocritical of her to care. It looks like I’m the first one. Weird. I check my phone. It's 8:45. Well, fuck. Looks like Ashley needs to fix her clock. Mrs. Stanley is at her desk. She looks at me knowingly. “Eager to create today, Abbi?” I just nod and sit at my desk. I’m really feeling it. I open up my precalc notebook and just start sketching. Birds, eyes, trees, whatever. Kids start coming in. Their chatter echoes around me, I try to focus on what I’m doing. Someone bumps into my table. I look up. It's this lanky blonde kid, I think his name is James. He presses his hands underneath the desk as he leans up to talk to me. “Eww!” He shouts. Some kids turn and laugh. I don't. I just stare at him. James goes red and sits next to the kid who pissed in a jar. Once an adequate amount of students are in the room, Mrs. Stanley starts her lesson slideshow. On the screen is a dirty urinal. “How many of you are familiar with this work by Marcel DuChamp?” she asks. At this point, Jason, the designated meathead jock, enters the room. “Sorry I’m late, Mrs. S,” he booms. He looks at the slide. “We building bathrooms today?” Mrs. Stanley glares at him. “Wouldn't you like that? Considering you spend all of your time in there.” “Whatever,” Jason brushes his mullet behind his ears. “No, not whatever. Would you like me to move you into the sophomore class with Davis? Believe it or not he's getting much better marks than you are getting in here.” Jason rolls his eyes and takes his place in the chair next to me. “Up to a little extra curricular activities before art, Abbi?” he motions a joint in his fingers. I scoff and go on my phone. There's another text from Seth.
sorry about last night
and
im reading it all right now that was fucked im sorry
I start to respond, but before I can Mrs. Stanley outstretches her hand. “Give me your phone, Miss Hagerty. I’m sick of giving you warnings.” I don't have the energy to fight, I just give it to her. “You can pick it up at the end of the day.” My jaw actually drops. Jason must have really set her off, she's not usually such a cunt to me. “Anyways, found art. What is it? Well, found art is the use of everyday objects to convey an altered meaning. It can be something you find on the street or something that once held value to you. For example, My Bed by Tracey Elim.” She pulls up a picture of a messy bed that looks suspiciously like my own. “So for your final unit of the semester, you will be making your own found art. I really want you to take this project a little more seriously than most of you have been taking this class. I’m giving you the privilege of picking your own partners, but I’d like to remind you to be thoughtful with your choice. This will be worth more for your grade.” I look around. I don't have any friends here. I toy around with the idea of asking Jason for convenience and he looks like he's about to pull that move. Behind me there's that James guy. He’s sheepishly looking at me. He seems kind of nice. Okay. I don't feel like getting up so I just turn around in my chair. “Hey James, wanna be partners?” He balks a bit and then smiles at me. “Yeah, totally,” He's beaming and it's somewhat endearing. Alex and I switch seats and now I’m next to him. “I’m gonna be real with you …” I begin. He stops and shifts a little. “I have no idea what we're supposed to be doing for this.” He regards me oddly. Like he's trying to piece me together. It doesn't bother me. “She said we have to bring in an object that's special to us and present it artistically basically,” he rubs his chin. Damn, I must be baked to hell. I didn't hear her saying that at all. “So got any stuffed animals we can cut up and make Lovecraftian monstrosities out of?” “I got a hamster cage, hold the hamster,” I say. It comes out kind of weird and I probably sound stupid, but he doesn't seem to care. “Let's make a fucking zoo.” “Perfect!” He’s kind of cute actually. In a way. Something about this feels fun. I realize the bell will ring soon. “So um,” I rip out a page of my precalc notebook, still fresh with my drawings. I scrawl out my number and push it to him. “Call me so we can figure out the project some more.” I pack up all my stuff and start to head out. I can feel him watching me and it's not that bad. “I sure will,” he says. Everything feels really groovy. There's a lightness now. I’m halfway out the door when I remember my phone. I can't believe that I just forgot about Seth. I think about begging for my phone, but I feel too above that. Still, something shakes the good feeling as the bell rings.

So I have a question. My dad was born and raised in Ohio, and he had a shotgun that was given to him in his youth from a family member. No paperwork obviously. He moved to California in the 90s, but he didn't bring any of the guns with him. So recently, he went to Ohio to visit, and he found his old shotgun and he wants to bring it back to California. Its a Remington model 11-48, 28 gauge shotgun, unsure of year but probably 60s-70s. Is there any legal way to bring it? California laws are a confusing mess. Thanks in advance!

“If the Browns were pioneers in their errand into a wilderness, they were also pioneers of forging friendly relations with people of different races. Owen’s childhood friendship with the likable African native Sam, along with his Christian Abolitionism, had rid him of racial prejudice. He forbade his family to discriminate against people of color.”(Reynolds 30)
“Unlike earlier Christian settlers from Columbus through Cortés to William Bradford, the Browns did not let feelings of so-called ethnic superiority poison their view of the natives. For them Indians were not savage “others” to be conquered but rather fellow humans to he respected.” (Reynolds 31)
“The Browns were unusual not only among previous explorers but even among their fellow whites in Hudson. Owen would later explain that his kindly attitude toward the natives was not generally shared: “When we came to Ohio the Indians were more numerous than the white People but were very friendly and I beleave were a benifet rather than injery there [were] some Persons that seamed disposed to quarel with the Indians, but I never had.” (Reynolds 31)
“Owen Brown was a rare instance of a white American completed to Christianity but at the same intent on not forcing his religion or customs on the Indians.” To the contrary, he had a mutually beneficial relationship with them. He exchanged meal and bread for the turkey, venison, and fish they brought him.” (Reynolds 31)
“Sensitivity to the experience of blacks was ever -present and instinctive with him. He not only taught his children to be kind to blacks; he urged them to be close friends with them and to be open to living with them." (Reynolds 56)
"In an 1834 letter to his brother Frederick he (John Brown), described two plans he had to help African Americans. One was to adopt "at least one negro boy or youth" and "bring him up as we do our own —viz., give him a good English education, learn him what we can about the history of the world, and above all try to teach him the fear of God." (Reynolds 56).
"On January 18, 1837, John Brown addressed a crow of Abolitionists and free blacks in Cleveland in support of a petition to the state legislature to repeal the black laws." (Reynolds 61)
"Brown took action not only against legal discrimination but also against discrimination on a more personal level. In the summer of 1836, just after the Brown family had moved to Hudson, the Western Reserve got what was perhaps its first exposure to a totally nonracist white person (even the abolitionists in the Reserve were known to accept the prevailing racial stereotypes of the era). (Reynolds 61).
Citations Reynolds, David S. John Brown Abolitionist: the Man Who Killed Slavery, And Seeded Civil Rights. https://ci.nii.ac.jp/nci/BA73848620

What’s up guys! Gonna share some insights, especially for the younger guys.
Stats: 20y- 6’0 - Handsome/Cute (6-7/10) - Nice Build Mediterranean looking + Mixes (🇻🇪 fam)
Context: Well travelled since youth, not rich but was a family thing to do. By default became a passport bro haha. Difficult kid, intelligent odd ball, not bad with girls but bad with girls lmao. Good but weird upbringing. Chaotic and a bit of a demon, impulsive, low self control. (Much more mature now)
Mexico 🇲🇽 Ok let’s get into it. My first real experience and love was at 19. I was in a bad place for many years prior and didn’t let people in. Anyways so yeah I met a 🇲🇽 girl who I found really cute through mutuals in the capital. I rarely found any Mexicans cute, so she was special in that point of view. We also had many similarities and I loved how feminine she was compared to girls back home. Beautiful country and culture I thoroughly recommend CDMX as a beginner location. I quickly began solo traveling to 🇲🇽 to see my “friend” and it quickly got out of hand and ended abruptly in a moment of my immaturity. I learned many things though: Long distance is not my style- too complicated and heart wrenching- I quickly made a mental note to not take any relationships serious. Also noted to be weary of girls who approach you haha. Here is where I noticed how insane I pulled outside of the country. I live in a city which has the most hyper-competitive sexual market in the United States (world) and I still do surprisingly well (especially at night lol). But nothing compares. Also I’m a Latino by blood so the dating culture just feels better.
Venezuela 🇻🇪 Anyways after the Mexico era I went on a family trip to Venezuela which I basically haven’t been there since my balls dropped. Wow. The natural beauty of Venezuelans is striking. Beautiful girls everywhere. The country itself is a mess. Everything is slow, expensive, and inconvenient. Had some fun there with a local girl but was not able to enjoy as much as I wanted to as I was with family the entire time. I don’t use tinder- all IRL into instagram as a funnel. Maybe I’ll explore more with dating apps as I get many matches especially overseas but the quality seems shitty and it can be a waste of time also a lame way to meet people. Never got to go out or party solo-dolo so that was a bummer. Will be back soon enough though so I’ll update you guys on Venezuela Nightlife experience. All I can say is it’s the second most beautiful place when it comes women I’ve been to. The country itself is by far the most beautiful place I’ve ever been. Terrible government- felt surprisingly safe though.
Europe 🇪🇺 Ok here’s were it gets weird haha. So Europe is definitely a place with more nuance. With that said I went to both western and eastern locations. It’s much easier to have casual sex in Western Europe due to the culture. Many American and European solo traveling girls as well… they are rather promiscuous. Eastern Europe was by far a beauty haven. From Romania to Russia you will find some of the most beautiful women on earth just walking on the street. The culture shock is large though and dating becomes a bit more “serious” which for me doesn’t work. I would recommend Europe as a traveling destination if you think you’re up for it. I did well and met, partied with, and traveled with girls but I felt like it the more east I went it just wasn’t the right vibe for that. Which is a bummer because Western European girls don’t compare to for example Ukrainians and Moldova. The farthest east I went was Turkey and the girl I was with had to sneak out everyday out of fear of being basically ostracized. Turkish people are very nice though. Spain was the most degenerate place I was in, if I wanted to party everyday I pretty much could. Great food, pricing varies widely based on economy, girls get hotter the more you go east but also more tricky. Great location to party hard, techno, etc.
So when it comes to Europe results may vary on many things. Your relative attractiveness, your ability to adapt and be outgoing even in “colder” nations, and how you carry yourself + where you stay. Staying in good locations is key. As an American you either get a buff or a de-buff and “wealth” is the main factor. European girls are very direct. Which I found off putting. Latin culture can be hyper sexual but I find it more classy.
Pro tips 🧠: - Don’t drink too much- you’ll get robbed or worse - Don’t get attached to anyone if you’re solo traveling it’s “solo” for a reason. Explore man. - Have travel cards with 0 international/atm fees - Learn how to say “hi” “nice to meet you” “my name is” “you’re gorgeous” in whatever language it shows you’re somewhat cultured. - If you’re young fuck the clubs! Go to raves, underground events, concerts, festivals. The young person and pretty girl ratio is 100x better. - Party hostels are a great way to meet “fun” people - Be careful with drug use, have been fine but honestly most of it is just unnecessary lmao. - Pub crawls are the easiest way to get laid in Europe lmao. Everyone is there for a reason. Just don’t do it if the ratio is completely busted as it’s not good for meeting local girls and stay away from the girl guides- trust.
Future travels 🌎 Peru 🇵🇪 - Machu Pichu + Lima Brazil 🇧🇷 - 🤤 nuff said Colombia 🇨🇴 - Venezuela lite more dangerous imo Argentina 🇦🇷 - seems fun
Asia as well- China 🇨🇳 would be crazy. Rarely find Asians cute but some are gorgeous.
Please share your thoughts / tips on these locations as I will be there shortly.

I'm struggling. My flair says reconciling, but it's on a low arc and approaching failure. Or maybe it's still false. I don't know.
Married 19 years, together for 25; two teenage children with severe emotional problems coming out of the pandemic.
D-Day was 16 months ago, the night before Thanksgiving. AP was literally an alcoholic unemployed late 40-something living in his mom's basement. They had met at a funeral she hadn't bothered to ask me to go because I wasn't leaving the bed in those days and I'd have said no. The night I discovered his clingy, mooning texts lamenting their inability to spend the holiday together, my life - already a terrible, depressive, lonely black hole of a mess and following the sudden, unnecessary death of a parent on Christmas Day - just imploded.
Upon confrontation after Thanksgiving dinner, the response was the worst in all ways possible. WW was high on limerence, and was fiercely unapologetic. She didn't want to separate but demanded an open marriage. She 'deserved to be happy', and felt good about her having told this unplanned encounter that went from EA to PA in 72 hours that she'd never leave me.
She had eschewed having intimacy for years before this. We had been poor to each other over the years, but I fell off a cliff after our kids faded from the world and my parent died. She was legit shocked and belligerent when I refused, and said that if you pursue this I will have to leave.
We made some temporary agreements (ones she did not keep), and started seeing a counselor. I started IC for the first time in my middle-aged life. We were however 'not aligned', as she'd say. She didnt want to give up her boyfriend, and I refused to stay if he was in the picture. I cringe to think back to how I said, 'you can maintain a friendship if you absolutely must but you must reinvest back into working on our relationship'.
This was a no-go for her for a while. She'd meet him. He'd sleep in her place of business. SHe lent him our car. (He crashed it while drunk, btw.) There was a moment when I had the kids in Puerto Rico, and she returned early for a funeral, and she went to the funeral with him and probably had sex after. Meanwhile I was stuck in an airport, trying to get home after a cancelled flight and just threw lots of money at the problem to curtail the time she had with him. She had in the three month relationship began introducing him to family friends, people who knew me.
With someone living a state away, she somehow managed to squeeze in more sex in 3 months than we'd had together in 10 years. In my mind, she was working on replacing me with AP but didn't want to separate for the sake of our kids.
Come January, she claimed to have decided to break things off. I didn't really believe her. I made a surprise visit to her place of business on a weekend, and found him there asleep on the couch with no pants on.
We had words, and despite being beside myself with rage and grief I was able to take his measure. In many ways, I wish I had met him right after D-Day. It was clear he was a narcissistic dumpster fire with pretensions of intellectuality. There were signs of some bipolar behavior. He made clear his intentions was to stay, and to convince WW to leave me. And he still had our car, and keys to her business site. (We live in a large city and don't need multiple vehicles, or even the one car if I'm honest.)
She realized where I was going due to my phone location and ran after me, but got there after I had 15 minutes with the joker. She asked him to leave, but still let him keep our car. She had no words, which has been a theme throughout our marriage. She can't easily access her feelings or articulate them, and she's afraid to express them for fear of my response. I told her after having met him, noted his instability and his intentions, i said I can no longer accept any contact between them. She reluctantly agreed.
From mid-January through to August followed a sequence of false representation of wanting to work on reconciliation and cycles of lying about not having contact. She was in love with him, she claimed, but seemed to go cold turkey overnight. She neither engaged with me nor took steps to reconcile, but claimed how difficult it was and that she was working on our relationship.
We quit the MC we started to see. We eventually found another several months later. We're still with the 2nd MC. In the meantime began a kind of surreal hellscape life for me, as she would say the barest of minimum things, and usually nothing at all about where she was, how she felt, and what was she willing to do to rebuild our relationship. She took no steps to reassure me, or show she wants me. She would say she did, but simultaneously be cold, distant, and - as i soon discovered - was still in contact with AP.
He gave her a burner phone. I found it within 2 days and threw the brand new phone into the river. Cheaters really need to not let unknown devices onto the home wifi networks of the technically literate. We had it out again, she promised to really try. A few weeks later I found unusual call patterns in our cell account. AP had provisioned a new phone number. Following that blow up was the WhatsApp phase, which really began to take the wind out of my sails.
She expressed no remorse. She was resentful of my 'intrusions into her privacy'. She genuinely thought it would be comforting to hear that the affair had nothing to do with me. She would be visibly annoyed when I asked for confirmations there had been no new contact - and even more so when in retrospect when there had been.
There were at least five discrete cycles of deception. AP escalated by getting five phone numbers and cycling through them. Towards the end, she had hid these numbers as secondary numbers of people they knew in common but didn't regularly have contact with. AP would write texts from the perspective of different personae.
Then there were the people who knew, and of those there were people who fully supported her behavior. There were people who aided and abetted it, lending her their apartments, or hoping she finds some comfort. One particularly egregious one, early on, tried to convince Amanda to really try to convince me to find someone else to be happy in an open arrangement. She's still in regular contact with this person.
The culmination of the PA/EA with the AP happened last summer. He eventually returned the car, but only after he had reclaimed it from the police impound lot. He did not pay for the repairs. Or his tolls when coming to and fro to fuck my WW. I did.
I had been fairly successful in identifying his phone numbers and having them blocked at the carrier level with some gaps in time, and diverting his email and voicemail. During ths period where all his means of contact were being closed soon after being opened, he was starting to rage and unstable. WW upon the latest confrontation (i was pretty calm and matter of fact about it) admitted she could not control her behavior, and didn't understand why she was doing it.
AP was a controlling person, with hints of WW's clinically narcissist parent. He wrote a letter and entered her business after hours to leave it. Because he wrote an email saying he was doing this, I ill-advisedly went there to call the police on him. I didn't find him, but I did find the letter. He knew I had been there - either he had been outside or he went back after I left - and complained bitterly about my interference.
His only means of influence had dropped to emails, and he just kept pounding with the short, imperative statements that described outcomes favorable to him. He had started to convince her that I was a threat to her, and trying to convince her I was a threat to our children (for whom I'd die in fire every day).
His tactical error was trying to play up his inability to contact her as a screen for concern. He tried to get the cops to perform a wellness check. He called WW's sister to convince her I was a threat, and that WW was in danger. (She told him off.)
Finally, he threatened to show up at our door with friends and 'free' her. I knew he owned a shotgun; while I didn't actually think he would show up (he had made smaller-scale threats of this kind before and I only realized they had happened days after his 'deadlines'.) I shared this new development with WW. We had agreed to handle it together. However, while I was out one day, she went to her sister's and called him to tell him she was fine but to never call or contact anyone in our family again. It was a muted, brief exchange. I was angry she hadn't stuck to our agreement.
Since then, he's only made a handful of contact attempts soon after the break that really were more for insulting me. I believe on an intellectual level they have had no contact since last summer. I emotionally continue to not feel safe about her intentions.
Since then, it's been difficult. There have been very limited conversation coming from her outside of the MC sessions, and those have trended light on her content. Very recently, she's expressed more. But it's still seemingly grounded in some unhealthy premises. Amongst them:

1. She at one pointed expressed she regretted the pain she caused, but doesn't regret the experience because (I kid you not) 'she learned so much about herself' and 'many positive elements have come out of it'. (I lost 50 pounds in the first three months post-Dday, and lately I've been hovering around 70. I did have it to lose, having used food to soothe myself over the decade of gaslighting and lack of explanation for her disengagement, and unwillingness to work on it.)
2. She continues to resent my intrusion into her phone call history. She disagrees with the oft-raised best practice of open-phone/account policies. Her feelings around her lack of privacy unsettle her, and get in the way of engaging (she says).
3. she doesn't see the value in 'forcing closeness'
4. she keeps wanting me to 'ratchet it down a notch', but it's not clear what she thinks that means
5. she finds my sadness and pain to be an impediment to rebuilding closeness
6. She claims to have read content about rebuilding marriages after infidelity, but to my knowledge she's done hardly anything to rebuild trust. I said it'd be better if you hadn't read it, because to think that you're walking around having read it but still don't do anything feels worse.
7. She has not taken lead in the reconciliation process, or really done much except endure my periodic/every-2-weeks or so expressions of disappointment and hurt and anger

I'm sure no one has read this far. This is my dilemma. What I'm trying to do here is leave no stone unturned in my efforts to save our marriage. I want to sleep well at night, and I won't be able to do that in a healthy way without going through this.
Yesterday wa the first time she said that he was responsible for destroying my world and my brain, several times over, with the elaborate deceptions (as I'm prone to describing it). I welcomed it and thanked her. But it was only precipitated by a conflict we were having about a mistake I made, where I rubbed her face in my phone snooping by adding unflattering profile pictures to the blocked contacts for the AP. (If they're not there, he could still call her and leave a voicemail when she's on wifi.)
She has had low to middling chronic health issues since April of last year, following her second round with COVID. And if it's not her, it's her parents. Or my surviving parent. Or my brother almost dying. Or the DOL is threatening to reclassify all her contractors as employees. (They should.) Everything just magically seemed to be prioritized over her talking to me.
It's literally, literally been something every other week. She's always tired, always in pain, and I really try hard to stay empathic about it. To hold a space for her. I have taken care of her when she's ill all throughout this horrible time. And she's really appreciative of how well I've supported and cared for her with no promise or signs of reciprocation.
But she still won't have sex with me, and wont talk to me about why she flinches sometimes when I touch her. Or worse, she fakes interest and then I find out otherwise later. Clearly, we have trauma to work through from before the affair. She's not intentionally being cruel. I've expressed remorse over what little she has hinted at, and want to make amends. I love her so much. It's always been my intent to die married to her, and hold our family together.
But it's getting harder to hold onto that empathy. I'm just so tired of feeling hurt, of not having my needs met, and feeling so deeply disrespected in this low-contrition (but maybe trending up) context we're living through.
She seems to evoke a sense in me that everytime I am hurt or express anger, her willingness or energy resets to near zero. Which in and of itself is newly infuriating!
My dilemma is that part of my tenacity in this ridiculous situation that saints would have left three times over already is tied to the idea that by sticking with it and not making it 'easier' for her I'm upholding my self-respect.
But am i? Am I just punishing her by saying I can't let go of my pain until she demonstrates remorse and effort? Being married, a husband and a father of simple small family is a big part of my identity.
It all went to shit a long time ago, but I never checked out. I just didn't understand what was happening, how a wife could treat their partner this way, and I didn't have the maturity or the emotional language to navigate it alone. So I grew resentful and depressed, and just low-level angry all the time. While she would just smile, and say nothing. In public, she'd be affectionate.
In private, it'd be back turned and motionless to my hunger for connection (and release). I turned inward. She, a very social, community-building gem of a human being, checked out and switched to Potemkin mode whenever anyone was looking. I felt like I was constantly being gaslit. Even when I tried to talk about our problems, she'd act as if I had said nothing at all. It was the damnest thing, and I had no words for it.
Maybe she's starting to see the light and be empathic to my pain. But, if that's what's happening, I'm just running out of steam and hope. Hope isn't necessary for me to stay the course, but motivation is beginning to lag.
Any advice?

Emily was walking through the dark corridors of the colony, somewhat upset, now she had to go to the colony's port, the reason? She had to bring the fruit punch, of course no one was going to eat it but they need it because they wanted decoration.
The map she had guide her to the area where human food was stored was, it was a room with special compartment designe to keep most of the food in a state of preservation, even after 20 years, the food would still be like new, that's why Drones wouldn't have to worry about spoiled food taking up space.
"Why do I have to be the one to look for this and it have to be specifically on the far side of the colony?" She complained before stumbling because she had her eyes on the map not on the road, her visor hit the ground, she quickly composed herself to look at what made her fall and at that moment her oil froze, because of someone legs, leaning against the wall was a vipedic creature, with nearly nothing beyond a pair of pants. Instead of metal, its body was made of something of a greenish hue that slowly became paler and paler.
"what the-" she stopped her words by placing her hands on her mouth, not wanting to wake up to whatever she found, she slowly began to walk away from him, however before she could turn the corner she could see how this creature began to wake up and let out what seems to be a battle scream (Actually he just yawned but since drones don't do that, so Emily got scared of that), that was enough for her to speed up, running with all her might to avoid her premature death at the hands of a creature she has never seen before....
After opening his eyes and letting out a hoarse yawn, M looked to the side seeing how something was moving but he didn't know what it was, his eyes didn't adjust until a few seconds later, already more or less awake, Mitchell stood up and began to walk move in search of an exit or something to eat, he had not eaten in two days, so he needed to regain strength, but if he went outside even when the temperature was more or less the same, it is when there are snow storms that things get worse and complicated all for him, his body had to grow by eating what he found along the way, which was not much because not everything was digestible for him, he had to learn the hard way what he can eats and what he can't, sometimes he missed how it was simply waiting for Yeva and for her to give him food.
Outside the colony, a Spider-pod lands on the top of the mountain where the worker colony was built, since it was underground it would first have to find a way to enter.
"Since the Murder drones in these areas were eliminate after a long time trying to enter, only succeeding because they were able to attack before the door closed, we must find another way" T said to his squad, reading the data that was sent from Jcjenson boss to them.
"Tracking a weakness and exploit it is my speciality" Z said with a crazy smile before jump and fly with her wings to have a better view, she quickly moved towards the west being followed by her companions.
"Looks like someone forgot to cover the roof" Z said while bumping fists with T.
"Well the battle plan is this, me and T hunt down the drones while Z moves through the vents to find the creature and sends a communication to us when she kill it, is that okay?" D asked his co-workers.
"In case that thing is with the Drones, let me know, while I would like to test the capabilities of that thing on my own, from what we have recorded, the workers drones created a anti-disassembly drone weapon, so if they are with that creature and more of those weapons in the same room, it would be good to be all together so we can win" Z added, to which her companions agreed, shaking their heads affirmatively. Now the three entered through the gap in the ceiling that was never repaired, T and D went towards south, while Z moved towards the vents, before moving much, she received a message from T.
"Hey, apart from exploring, you should build a map of this place while you move through the vents, maybe in the potential case that we fail, other Disassembly Drones can use that valuable information to complete this mission, so they will be here in about a week, the other teams are taking their time and want to give us the first try, and then if we can't, they will all go together."
"Okay, this place is very big so even if we succeed, it's better this way, the worker drones probably have a secret escape route and we can use it to ambush any survivors who try to escape" Z replied to her partner.
"OH ROBO-GOD OH ROBO-GOD" N begins to hyperventilate in front of V, who looked at him without saying anything because the boy did not even let her form a word until N got close enough to V and she gave him a slap making him look at her and they both stayed silent for a minute.
"Listen to me N, being like this will be no good for no one, you will only make yourself worry more without being able to do anything to bring a solution to your problem, so shut up and think." V said
N puts his hand on his chin, V was right, if he stayed here doing nothing, everyone in the colony would be killed if he didn't get going but he shouldn't be stupid too with what he will do.
"You're right, I need a plan."
"We need a plan, I won't let those Disassembly Drones eat all the food, remember we overheat without oil, plus I can annoy that purple thing by making her owe me a favor for saving her ass" She said while laughing.
"Okay, let's go," N said as he walked outside, only to notice that V wasn't moving. "What's wrong, V? Move, we don't have all night."
"N, I'm chained"
"...."
"...."
".... I'm silly, not blind" N said and then went up, V opened her eyes a little before moving because the chain had been broken for a long time.
Obviously V didn't tell N what the real reason was of why she had such change, if these drones are here it only means that Cyn decided that "something" was outside of her plans and that it had to be solved . So if she finds this "something"... maybe there was a chance that all of this could lead to the key to finally getting rid of that pirated Windows drone. So she decided to cooperate a little with N, yes, she still thinks about at least drinking some of the oil from the drones already killed by this squad to replenish the lost amount and prevent overheating.
Now in the colony, Uzi was being dragged by Lizzy and Doll, they had made her pretty, something that did not go with her programming, although the dress looked good and that, she was uncomfortable wearing it.
"I still don't know why I have to go to the stupid dance," Uzi said, watching Doll leave for a moment.
"Well, with that attitude you won't make any friends, much less get your friend Murder Drone back, believe me, I know you want to see hum because of the way you answered our questions, it was not only uncomfortable but a tone of guilt that came out of your voice module" Lizzy said as she finished putting on her dress.
"Wow Lizzy, since when were you so good at reading people?" Uzi said surprised.
"When your mother is the only psychiatrist in the entire neighborhood and you have Doll as a friend, you learn to read others, it's just a matter of finding the right opening, and from what I can see after what happened a while ago , your friendship with that Murder Drone N fell for some reason, you must leave the past behind, whatever you saw if you don't let it go you won't really be able to grow as a person, so I advise you, go and talk. I'm sure for the way he describes him, you'll be forgiven." Lizzy said after putting a hand on Uzi's shoulder, before walking out of the room leaving a thoughtful Uzi.
With that in mind Uzi got up and left the room only to find Yeva who was wearing an elegant suit because she was going to see the Prom, although her intention was different, she wanted to check if that monster would try to attack the drones that were there in the Prom, so she and the others can stop it before a drone gets hurt, of course she'll probably need to get her solver out because she doesn't know the capabilities of this thing beyond being bigger than a murder drone, but she's not someone who is intimidated by size.
"Hey Yeva, huh, have you seen Lizzy and Doll?"
"Ну, судя по тому, что мне рассказала Долл, они пошли проверить одну вещь, чтобы завершить свои наряды, так что они должны быть здесь через пару минут." (Well, from what Doll told me, they went to check something to complete their suits, so they should be here in a couple of minutes) The older Drone told to darkXwolf17, Uzi felt slightly uncomfortable seeing her.
"Hey, ma'am, can I ask you something? It's related to my mother." Uzi said before receiving a wave of Yeva's hand to fire off her question.
"Well, how exactly was she like before meet my dad? Although many stories that he told me, he never told me about what she was like in her youth and that you two were found by his group 20 years ago, so I assume that you have been good friends for a long time, right?"
"Да, мы с Нори были друзьями до взрыва ядра, мы служили людям во всем, что они от нас просили. До взрыва отношение Нори было немного другим, более сосредоточенным, и его было легче разозлить, но не так сильно, как было после взрыва. Я полагаю, что отсутствие людей облегчило ему свободу самовыражения, поскольку нам не пришлось бы терпеть особых усилий из-за... нашей работы, которая требовала физических и умственных усилий, потому что она заключалась в кодировании кодов." (Ah, yes, Nori and I were friends before the core explosion, we served the humans in whatever they asked of us. Before the explosion, Nori's attitude was a little different, more focused and easier to get angry, but after the explosion, i think the absence of humans made it easier for her to express herself freely, since we wouldn't have to endure much effort due to... our job, which required physical and mental effort because it involved coding codes.) Yeva told half-truths to Uzi, who was listening. attentively each word being more or less satisfied with that answer.
"By the way, one last thing, what about Doll's father? I haven't seen a single photo of him around the house."
That question made Yeva freeze for a second, before she moved and avoided the question with another
"Я думаю, вы знаете ответ, вероятно, это был ваш друг-дрон-убийца, я не знаю, я ничего не мог сделать, чтобы спасти его, говоря о дронах-убийцах, что случилось с теми двумя, которые были на свободе?" (I think you know the answer, it was probably your friend killer drone, I don't know, there was nothing I could do to save him, speaking of killer drones, what happened to the two that were loose?) Yeva looks at Uzi seriously, because she had afraid that she would have to deal with the Murder Drones if they have used Uzi as a can opener to the secrets of the colony such as the place where they get oil from.
"Well..... the relationship I had with N went down the drain, but I'm about to fix it, so I'll do it now or never." She said, motivated by Lizzy's words before leaving the house, leaving a worried Yeva, who finished her preparations before leaving for the Prom
Lizzy and Doll were walking on their way to the Prom with their dresses ready, that is until Emily collided with the both because she was running without looking, when she fell she saw who she hit, both friends stood up.
"Emily, what's wrong with you? You could ruin this dress, you doesn't know how hard they are to find" Lizzy replied to the Drone.
"I'm sorry Lizzy and Doll, I just saw it, it was horrendous and it made a strange roar." Emily responded. That attracted the attention of both of them, who looked with an expression of wanting to know every last detail.
"Well, you see I was the one who had to look for the fruit punch and all the food for the decoration of the dance, so I was sent to the most remote place in the colony, there while I was walking I found that thing, it was big and ugly, a sickly green color" She said, the girl wanted to keep moving away but she was taken by the hand by Doll
"Покажи нам дорогу, Эмили, к месту, где хранят еду, мне интересно, что ты скажешь." (Show us the way, Emily, to the place where we keep the food, I'm interested in what you say.) Her interest in the situation was clearly piqued, which Emily didn't like, but she was dragged by the purple-haired girl and the blonde into the dark hallway.
N and V were flying on their way to the colony, until they noticed the open door. "Look, there's Uzi, and uh, she's got a dress on, she looks very..." N almost started drooling if it weren't for V hitting him on the back.
"Hey, what was that for?"
"Don't act like that, it's in bad taste for a girl to have a boy spying on her from a distance, plus if she has a dress we probably need one suit for you and a Dreas for me."
"V there is no time" N started to go down....but then he went up again
"Where can I find one?"
"Follow me, I know the perfect place" V said guiding her partner to a clothing store to get a suit and dress for each of them.
Outside in the blizzard, Uzi was running until N and V quickly stop her as they both land in the snow kicking up a small cloud of it.
"¡¿N?!"
"¡Uzi!"
"¿Why-?"
"You look-"
"¿How-?"
"Hey, eh-"
"I... Think some-"
"I could help. But you probably don't want me..."
"OH MY GOD CAN YOU STOP DOING THAT?! WE HAVE A SQUAD OF MURDER DRONES TO STOP" V yelled at them both making their attention turn to her.
"WAIT HOW THAT A MURDER DRONE SQUAD?!!" Uzi panics
"Let me explain, we were relaxing in the spiral until the place moved a little, so I went out to see and it turned out that a ship that we used passed over and headed towards this location, they are probably already inside" N told her while Uzi had her eyes open.
"But luckily purple thing we are here to save your ass and your colony in exchange for donations of oil for all our life" V told her only to receive an elbow from N, Uzi for her part began to run from back towards the colony followed by both.
Yeva was in the Prom and had a glass of oil while she looked around in search of her daughter or at least Lizzy.
"oh hello Yeva" a voice called her, when she turned she could see Khan
"Привет, Кхан, ты видел девочек? я ищу ее"(Hi Khan, have you seen the girls? I'm looking for they)
"no, I expected they would be be with you" That was not a comforting answer, that started to worry her until something fell from the ceiling directly killing the party's DJ while someone close the doors.
"Greetings, dear toasters, and welcome to the funeral dance of this colony" T said as he changed the music to something he liked while D moved out of the doors with his hands transform into claws tearing apart a drone.
Yeva gets ready, hell with pretending she's a normal Drone, they're murder drones, of course she's going to use the Solver now.
"ЧЕРТ ВАС, Я УБЬЮ ВАС ОБОИХ!" (DAMN YOU, I'LL KILL YOU BOTH!)
"Hey, what did she say? I don't have too many languages installed in my software" said D but was sent flying when a table that was next to him suddenly hit him thanks to a push from Yeva who used the Solver, walking in front from the crowd to fight against the two Murder drones
The three Drone girls were walking down the hallway where Emily found the creature, but none of them couldn't see anything there.
"Well it looks like she's gone so I'm going-" Emily start to say but Lizzy would pull her by the shoulder, the popular one took out her phone and looked for her copy of the facility plans that she had stolen from her dad
"If there is a creature that is not a drone in this place, then it is probably in the area where we kept all the human stuff that we don't need, you know blood tests, some other tools, organic food, water purifiers , etc" Lizzy walked leading now, it took 5 minutes until they felt that someone watching them.
"Хорошо, разве я не единственный, кто чувствует, что за ней наблюдают? Что ж, тогда давайте вытащим этого шпиона"(Well, am I not the only one who feels like she's being watched? Well, then let's take out this spy.) Doll, Emily and Lizzy looked around until Lizzy stopped.
"HEY, I saw you, come out now or we'll kick you out" She yelled at whoever was there.
"Неужели кричать было хорошей идеей? Честно говоря, я бы отступил, если бы оказался в подобной ситуации."(Was yelling a good idea? Honestly, I would back out if I found myself in a similar situation.)
"But what does you say? It's super effective"
Then they saw him... he was tall, and his gaze pierced to the core of them, he approached to the group at a slow pace.
Both Lizzy and Emily took a step back, however Doll did not move an inch, she stared at the being, almost hypnotized.
Mitchell looked at the Drone in front of him, she looked so different but at the same time so familiar, as if he knew her from somewhere, he was hypnotized watching how the dark purple-haired girl took a small step, in a moment she stood up her arm and he copied her action, touching your palm with his, it feels familiar, like a part of him is here. However, his instincts quickly kicked in, he pushed the purple-haired girl away using her arm while something fell from the vent. A sword had created a small crater where he and the Drone were a second ago, right there was the owner of the weapon, a Murder Drone, who was looking at the four, three drones and her target.
"Wow, this place is very big but I finally caught you big guy, so I'll kill you quickly and have a little snack with those Drones" Z said while turning her hands into claws
"MURDER DRONE AHHHH" Emily screamed before running out to the way she came, Lizzy and Doll left with no other option, knowing that without Uzi's gun or sunlight both would be no match for this one.
Doll turned to look at the creature, noticing that he did not move an inch from his place, in fact she could see how a mark appeared on his skin, his muscles contracted, before letting out a monstrous scream of anger to the Murder Drone who was laughing to start a fight... which was very one-sided, although Doll couldn't see much as she was pulled by Lizzy out of danger and started running towards the Prom...
"Let's see what you're made of, big guy." Z launched herself to cut Mitchell's face with the intention of ripping his face off, something that miraculously failed because he was able to avoid the cut by twisting his back a little. M took a step back, he knew that in a physical competition he had no way of win, so he decided to do the most logical thing... Run, so he ran in the opposite direction of the 3 Drones to keep the metal demon away from them, Z smiled at the idea of playing cat and mouse, so she deployed her wings, something that was difficult due to the size of the hallways, which Mitchell took advantage of, since Z's feet were not designed to run much on the ground unlike more manly designs, she would be restricted in flight on place like this.
He looked back to see how Z turned her left arm into a rocket launcher and fired a missile at him, so he launched himself into the detour, feeling part of the explosion that shook the entire ground, he stood up and began to run, slightly in pain due the shock wave but that was only a second before his body worked to repair the damage and with adrenaline rushing through his brain, he tried to dodge the projectiles that were now bullets, some hit him but he didn't slow down at all, in one point he sees a detour to the right so he takes it, Z crashes because she couldn't fight the acceleration she had taken, fracturing her visor a little but she quickly regenerates to look at where Mitchell went, noticing a couple of closed room.
"Let's see where you went" Z began to open each door with a kick while she had her weapons ready to turn Mitchell into Swiss cheese, nothing, nothing, nothing, NOTHING.
"Where the hell did he go?" She said, looking when she saw that she couldn't find M, then she heard something above her while she was opening the last door. Mitchell jumped from the roof in a surprise attack, managing to push Z to the ground and because she wasn't prepared for that, Mitchell began to dominate her, managing to retain her arms and using the difference in size to his advantage, immobilizing most of her body...... I say most because Z's tail was free so she moved it and stuck it in the Mitchell's throat.
Making him fall to one side feeling the pain of how his flesh melts, his cells started a war trying to counteract the corrosive properties of the nano acid but they are more powerful, so killed Mitchell's cells on the neck, Z grab him from the left leg and threw him into a room, hitting a vending machine with his body, Mitchell's consciousness almost went away but Z did not end there, she transformed her hand into a knife and began to make mincemeat of Mitchell, now he was ground meat, and then Z looked around noticing that she was in some kind of warehouse.
"It's done" she told herself, send the text to the others and began to returned to the others, she was thirsty for oil.
"EVERYONE CALM, THE CAVALRY HAS ARRIVED!" Uzi shouted after N and V blew up the entrance, noticing how a whole group of Drones was in a corner taking cover, turning her head a little she can see the Murder Drones, two males, fighting against Yeva, she kept them at bay as best she could, using a railing to block a sword while she jumped back after the block and landed on a table like a ninja.
"Wow, I didn't know that Doll's mom had style" she said.
"What are you two doing? You should help us!" T said when he noticed N and V.
"I'm sorry but we're changing sides, the company we're talking about is a bit silly" said V before changing her hands into claws, which were blocked by T's sword, who used his free left hand to hit her in the side with an electromagnetic pulse cannon launching V a few of meter back.
"Naturally, we are resistant to electromanetic pulses, however, it is resistance, not immunity, the closer you are to the target the more the effects can be felt" said T who predicted N trying to attack him from behind with his sword but the sword was broken by T's chainsaw and then N was pushed by his tail.
Uzi attacks D with a knife lying on the ground but the Murder drone was more agile, blocking it with his left claw while shooting with his machine gun at Yeva who created a shield to deflect the bullets, which D responds by grabbing Uzi with his tail and throw her at Yeva, she intended to catch the purple-haired girl in the air using her Solver but she couldn't, which surprised her, she had to catch her manually, only to be received by a stab, which went through Uzi's side and below Yeva's waist, D had moved at the same moment he threw Uzi using this opening to attack both of them.
D took out his sword from both, letting the slightly reddish colored oil come out of both.
"UZI!" N shouted furiously, moving at full speed towards the them, but Z came out of the ventilation and moved quickly towards Yeva, sending her flying to N so both colling, saving D's neck.
"Sorry for being late, that thing while weak didn't want to die and he made me lose three more victims, hey, why are we fighting with those two?" Z asked to her classmates.
"Traitors, eliminating them is a priority, however be careful with the one with the darker purple hair, it seems she has super telekinetic powers" D tells her, blocking V's two swords with his own sword while before making his tail grab Uzi's leg and the smash against V sending them both flying....
"D you will fight with the boy, Z take care of the big purple one and I-" he could not finish since he was hit with a chair by Khan, the problem is that the Chair broke and T turned to see him, Khan gave a nervous smile as T changed his right arm into a chainsaw, Khan start to running for his life.
Now everyone positioned themselves, Uzi was bleeding to death but Yeva quickly stood next to her, a strange symbol appeared on her hand closing the wound but not the pain and Khan would take Uzi's arms moving her out of danger.
Yeva stood next to N and V, it was something she hated but she needed the help of these two to win.
"Я НЕ ЗАБЫВАЮ, ЧТО ТЫ СО МНОЙ СДЕЛАЛ!" (I DON'T FORGET WHAT YOU DID TO ME!) Yeva said to V who looked at her strangely for a second but focused on the fight.
However, through the other door, Lizzy and Doll entered, seeing the disaster.
"Ok, there goes my coronation as prom queen" Lizzy said noticing how there were corpses in some places and a crowd in the background, but she focused on the murder drones.
"подожди, как ты здесь? если несколько минут назад ты был позади." (wait, how are you here? if a few minutes ago you were behind of us?.) Doll asked to Z
"Oh, well after killing the target just enter through the ventilation, this whole place is mapped, there is no escape or safe place now, especially when the other squads get here" She said, everyone open their eyes a little.
For some reason, Doll felt strange hearing that Z had killed that creature, as if she had been told that a relative of hers had been murdered.
However, she looked at her mother who looked at her with the expression that she should go to a safe place... Doll for the first time did not know what to do, her body froze, she felt afraid, she felt afraid of die, she didn't want to die...
Lizzy however did not stay still, she held her friend and took her out of there.
V was the first to move her sword like a dance, hitting the sword of T, who turned around to try to hit v with his other hand, which was blocked by V.
V was fast, she used everything she had, T blocked as best he could, waiting for the right moment until V's left arm got stuck in a weapon change, apparently the effect of the electromagnetic pulse weapon took effect at that moment, which would allow T perform a boxing attack combination Side swing - oblique rise - circular downward turn - wrist lock.
The combination was enough to weaken V and allow T to hit her with a shotgun in her skull, sending her flying, it would take her 3 minutes to regenerate from all the damage.
N's steps equalized D's steps, sparks came out as they both fought, they changed from swords to claws. But there was something that distinguished them, N never fought with someone experienced, he or J or V never tried to train, they always improvised since they never expected the Worker Drones to fight for their lives with the same equipment, D, T and Z for their part did. They trained, not because the Worker Drones were armed but because they had nothing better to do when it was daylight, they trained combat tactics, managing to hurt each other, and from there they knew perfectly how their bodies worked and their limits.
At one point, D spat in N's face which made him put his hands to his face to remove the drool but he ended up with two less arms and a missile in his head being sent flying.
Yeva detailed her movement with Z, using two knives and her solver to compensate the difference in weaponry, with a move of her hand, Yeva imposes a shield that protects her from the explosions of Z who tried to blow her up with a missile. She summons a knife and throws it at Z, removing her arm. Almost immediately, Yeva removes the ceiling fan from its pole and throws it upright.
However Z was faster, she moved her body to the side, the fan remained stuck in the wall, perhaps if she had attacked horizontally she would have been dead.
With a movement of her tail, she raised her severed arm towards her shoulder, placing it and moving to continue the fight. She changed her arm into a flash grenade launcher and fired them. Yeva tried to block it with a shield, thinking that they were explosive grenades, but she was blinded and disoriented. She was slammed against a wall and immobilized again, this time Z would nail two metal barrels, one in her left arm and the other in her right arm.
"Okay, let's get this over with-" she not finished her words due a brick hit her, she turned around, T and D followed her gaze.
At the door they could see someone almost without nothing if it weren't for a pair of shorts, his skin white as snow as some minor wounds closed, his mouth had a piece of meat frozen before he finished eating it, Mitchell with a ax in his left hand and concrete block in the other he looked at the three Murder drones, ready to end this.
(I FINALLY FINISHED THIS AHHHHHH....
The English version has 1.5k views, maybe I'll do a 10k word special when we get 2k views, this one has a little over 5,000 words.
Well, see you another time.
Mitchell to the Z, T and D be like
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Evj6HbsXAAEmdlo.jpg

Let me preface this by saying I’m not a US citizen, so I can’t vote. If I was, I’d probably have gone for an independent because I find it ridiculous that the only viable options for presidency are two senile idiots. Politically I’m a left-leaning humanist.
I’m seeing more than often memes on the front page stating that Trump will dismantle the democracy in US. Phrases are flying about like “vote for Biden to be able to keep on voting”. Also quite a strong shaming of any liberal criticising Biden, to the point of declaring them Trumpist.
Now, I hate Trump as much as the next sane person. But the system in US is strong enough to prevent anyone turning this country into a semi-Autocracy like Hungary or Turkey. The checks and balances are working. The Judicial system is more or less independent (not forgetting the last few supreme justices having been nominated by Trump). I feel like Dems are overplaying the Trump card, trying to paint him like the dark prince and blackmailing people who don’t like Biden with visions of impending doom.
Edit: People seem to be hung up on whether he would want it. Of course he wants to be an Autocrat. No argument there. Does he get to be one? That’s the core of the discussion.
Edit 2: I didn’t expect to get downvoted to oblivion. I understand that the emotions are flying high but we need to have a rational discussion about the possibility of Trump getting reelected. What’s the plan if that’s indeed the case? Are you gonna try a coup like the Jan 6ers? Democratic system components and the guardrails are what we need to rely upon and protect at all costs. If liberals keep on singing the end of the world song, the result of Trump’s possible reelection will cause a huge blow on people’s morales and possibly lead the youth becoming further disenfranchised. And that is the actual doom scenario in my humble opinion.

About 2 years ago I bought my son a youth maverick 88, 20gauge from the local Walmart. The first time firing the shotgun it would not fire due to a lite striking. Every other shot this would occur, and because we only really go out shooting during dove season I never returned the gun or had it checked out. My son has now upgraded to a 12 gauge. I was thinking about making the 20 gauge a home defense weapon. How common is this problem with lite strikes on these guns? and how easy of a fix would it be? This shotgun has only been fired a few times. So it’s basically new. TIA.

Having read a comprehensive book detailing the Hart Family/ Stampede Wrestling, as well as books by Bret Hart, Bruce Hart and Dynamite Kid, I can say it was great to hear from someone who was spoken about in all those books. It is fascinating to see all the intersecting points of view when it comes to anything Hart Family related.
Bret Hart book
Bruce Hart book
History of Stampede Wrestling book
History of the Hart Family as documented in various books
Dynamite Kid book
This book was short and a quick read, but you could tell it was written with honesty and truth. She doesn't shy away from her own mistakes and issues while detailing the own POV on a relationship where most people have only heard from Bret.
As always, it's done in chronological order. I hope you find it as interesting as I did...
Julie had a truly wild and horrific youth experience between being sent to juvenile detention centers and dealing with genuinely abusive step parents. She is honest and critical of her own behaviors as well and doesn't like the choices she made. I grew up in the area where she spent her teenage years, and I can confirm that the seedy ghetto areas of Saskatchewan are genuinely gross and terrifying places to be when you're young and directionless.
She talks about how she was r*ped while hitchhiking as a teenager and got pregnant. She gave the baby up for adoption and tried to press charges but got cold feet and ran to another neighboring city. She was afraid the man who assaulted her would escape the charges and come after her again. She was young and naively thought that if she had just switched towns, she could escape everything. When a cop found her, he accused her of running because she was lying about the assault. This type of bullshit is why women don't come forward.
Julie was working in Regina, Saskatchewan, at the arena where wrestling was held when it came in town. That's where she first saw Bret Hart, and Bret saw her too. He ended up asking her boss Gil to introduce the two. Bret spoke about this in his book, too, how Julie caught his eye while he was in the ring. Gil later warned Julie that dating a wrestler is risky because they have a lot of "stops on the road." Julie didn't understand that Gil wasn't criticizing or accusing Bret of anything, but how he knew how wrestlers were on the road, in terms of meeting women.
Julie speaks favorably on how Bret treated her younger sister Michelle (the future wife of Dynamite Kid) but I remember in Bret's book, him describing in detail how attracted he was to the underage Michelle when he met her. Julie says Bret treated her like a sister, and her book came out after Bret's, so I'll take her word for it.
Julie moved in with Bret in Calgary just a few months into their relationship and she remembers being a wreck of nerves and anxiety ay the start, unable to cook or even attend the big Hart Family Sunday dinner. Eventually, Bret got her out to the Hart house where she met Stu and Helen Hart. Helen was a sweetheart, but she remembers Stu eying her up and down, with Julie saying, "He gave me the once over." Adding, "Stu judged women on their teeth and legs." She said Stu stared at her teeth and legs as if she were a race horse he was inspecting.
Julie remembers how Stu would turn any conversation into something about wrestling. She mentioned being a Saskatchewan Roughrider fan (Canadian football team), and Stu went on a rant about Gene Kiniski, who briefly played for the Edmonton Eskimos This made me chuckle as Stu and Gene had a but of a rough relationship since Stu gave up on Gene when he was a rookie and hurt his knee. Gene went to Toronto where "Whipper" Billy Watson essentially turned Gene into the big name star he was known for.
In Bret's book, he described the first night Julie came to the Sunday Hart dinner and when Julie passed on the salad, Bret's sister Diana Hart snapped on her saying, "What, you're too good for fuckin' salad!?" Bret says his mom responded by saying to Julie, "So you met Bret's sister Diana." In Julie's book, she describes this event as well but doesn't mention the funny line from Helen. She says Bret just took Julie and decided to leave immediately. Bret's other sister, Georgia, followed them outside and apologized on behalf of Diana and excused Diana by pointing out how pregnant Diana was at the time.
Julie actually puts over Diana quite a bit and says she actually came to admire Diana for how outspoken she was. She says Diana had a great style and was a gifted artist. After reading so many Hart related books, it's refreshing to hear something positive about Diana. Diana is the "Black sheep" who married "The British Bulldog" Davey Boy Smith. Diana would write a scandalous and legal minefield of a book in 2001 called "Under the mat." It was quickly pulled from shelves after Owen Hart's widow Martha threatened legal action over what was said about her and Owen. Bret and Bruce Hart also denounce the book, calling it mostly lies, but not everything can be written off as fiction, including stories, some wild stores about Dean Hart. I desperately need this book.
Julie said she never got over the sight of Bret Hart eating an avacado as if it were an apple.
While Bret was in Japan wrestling with his brother Keith, Julie said she spent a lot of time with Keith's girlfriend. It was Keith's girlfriend who smartened Julie up to how wrestling works. Up to this point, she believed it to be legit, and even Bret had been selling it like this to her. She was furious, and when Bret called, she told him they were done and hung up on him. The next day, Bret's older brother Bruce stopped by to help her understand kayfabe and how silly it all was. Julie says she ended up feeling bad for reacting like that and yelling at Bret, but she says he forgave her immediately. Bret tells this same story in his book, adding details of how Julie would worry and stress about Bret Hart being brutalized every night.
Here's something I dont remember from Bret's book. He knocked up Julie very early into their relationship, and Julie got an abortion. She said they both weren't ready for being parents, but Julie says she was deeply saddened by their choice. She never expressed these misgivings with Bret, and assumes Bret was relieved, she didn't make it any more difficult on them. To Bret's credit, maybe he didn't mention it in his book for Julie's benefit. Or he did mention it very briefly, and I missed it.
Julie remembers accompanying Bret on a trip overseas where they went to a freaky sex show place where they had "baby tigers and lions and torture rooms."" She says at one point Bret got tied up on a table and was playfully whipped.
On this trip, Julie remembers a woman hitting on Bret right in front of her and had to yell at her to back off while Bret laughed. Julie was pissed and made them go back to the hotel. Once there, Julie was mouthing off to Bret before he grabbed her and "bodyslammed" her into the flower bed. He offered to help her up afterwards but she told him to fuck off.
A week later Bret came home smelling of perfume and Julie says she just snapped. She said she grabbed him and dug her finger nails into his face and eyes. She says Bret later would tell her that he never saw her the same after this incident. I don't remember Bret describing Julie ever getting physical like that in his book, but he did describe a lot of shouting matches.
Julie says she and Bret got married after her younger sister and Dynamite Kid. She says they got married in secret because Bret didn't like his siblings much and said they didn't deserve to be part of it.
When Julie was pregnant again this time they felt ready to start a family. Though Bret made Julie not tell anyone for the first 5 months of her pregnancy and when he "told" his parents, it was through a letter he left on their bed before he left for a wrestling tour. Julie remembers feeling hurt by this because Bret would say his parents always wanted their children to start families with someone who had money, a significant name and an education. Julie had none of those things and while she doesn't say it, you get the feeling that she thinks Bret was ashamed or embarrassed by her.
When she got pregnant again, she says Bret was mad at her for not being more careful with birth control. She says she became very irritable and bitchy throughout the pregnancy and always found something to be mad at Bret for. She is super critical of her behavior here and doesn't excuse it.
The night she gave birth, Bret left to go out for drinks, despite Julie asking him not to in case her water broke. When she woke up at 5am to her water breaking, she was furious that Bret didn't come home yet and had to call a friend to get her to the hospital. Bret was a no-show for her entire delivery and missed his second child being born. Julie says she was furious and seriously considered divorcing him then.
When Bret started touring with WWF, he was gone for much longer periods of time and this strained their marriage. Working for WWF really put a strain on Bret and filled him with confidence issues as well. She said between his self doubt and her loneliness, their marriage was barely holding on.
She remembers how Bret would call from the road and bemoan about how lonely he was. I'm reminded of his book, how he would complain about feeling lonely, then complain that the guilt of cheating on Julie was too much.
Julie says she got a literal itch and went to a doctor who told her that she caught "something" from a public washroom. A suspicious Julie went home and threw all her bedding in the garbage and then thought to check on her suspicion. She looked through their phone bills to find that Bret was placing a ton of calls to a girl from New Jersey and that he even kept the receipt for a Christmas present he bought this girl!
Julie describes how Bret called and she just screamed "I want a divorce!" Before she hung up and ripped the phone cord out of the wall. Eventually she agreed to go meet him and they started yelling at each other in a parking lot after a show. She says at one point Bret through a can of budweiser at her head, hitting her! She says wrestler Les Thorton got between the two and tried to calm them down. She remembers screaming how she won't get in the car with Bret and Bret yelled back, "Don't be stupid, get in the car! Your embarrassing yourself!" She says Bret later said the girl meant nothing to him and Julie should be greatful that Bret isn't addicted to drugs. Wild. At one point when they were back in the hotel room, a girl called the room asking for Bret and Julie snapped, breaking a lamp.
In Bret's book, he described how he decieved both Julie and this girl from New Jersey, neglecting to tell this side girl that he was married until she was head over heels in love with him. Bret talks about how tough this was for him and says that Stu and Helen Hart talked Julie out of leaving him.
Julie says their relationship was never the same after the affair. She couldn't trust him again.
Julie says when her grandmother died a few months after the affair, Bret was calling her everyday to check in but she said "I couldn't have cared less about those calls."
Julie says it was around this time that she and Bret started to regularly do cocaine. She said the coke helped her not think about the affair and how she would ask Bret to score some if she couldn't get it out of her head. She said she would do coke and sleep in the car just to avoid Bret. She suggests this all slowed down when Vince started cracking down on coke use with drug tests.
She speaks highly of Vince McMahon, this book was written in 2013, and she is greatful for what Vince was able to provide for her family and the opportunity he gave Bret. She says when she first met Vince, he was wearing a suit and sneakers. When she asked Bret why he wore sneakers, Bret said "so he can get around." During the show she noticed Vince was all over the place during matches, never sitting still and always running around from one person to another.
Julie remembers meeting Ozzy Osbourne at Wrestlemania 2 and "marking out" because he was her idol as a teenager. After the show, she says Ozzy was present as everyone had drinks at the hotel and Dynamite Kid spiked her drink. She said she could barely stand and Dynamite just laughed at her the whole time.
Julie notes how devoted Bret was to making sure his kids had the best toys, and how Bret would drive to every toy store before Christmas and find what the kids wanted. She appreciates this but also wishes Bret didn't miss so many plays and dances and activities due to his schedule. She was starting to really resent wrestling and wanted Bret to quit. She hated having this big house that felt empty most of the time without Bret home. In Bret's book, he wanted her to get a job to fix her loneliness.
She says her 3rd pregnancy was easier than her second and Bret was very sweet to her and praised how good she looked.
Julie brings up how devastated Bret was when his brother Dean died in 1990. She remembers watching him wrestle the next night at Survivor Series ppv and seeing the pain on his face. Bret talks about how tough this was in his book and how much shame he felt. Dean needed a kidney transplant and none of the Hart brothers stepped up. Bret didn't want to derail his career. Though you can't blame anyone more than Dean himself, who was stubborn and often went against doctors orders, so even with a mew kidney, Dean may have still died.
Julie talks about continuing her partying and drug lifestyle into the early 90s when she would party with a local band and inviting them to live at her house. She said Bret was very understanding and never pushed her for details on those nights out. Some nights Bret would watch the kids all night while Julie was getting fucked up and partying.
On of those musicians, Marc, was very close with Julie and while Julie never says she hooked up, she does say her younger sister Michelle did hook up with Marc, a bunch of times in secret. She doesn't specify if this was before or after Michelle left Dynamite Kid, but she says Marc did move in with Michelle and help her with the kids. This would have been after Dynamite went back to UK, since I'm sure Dynamite would have kicked the door down and attempted to murder Marc if this were in the final months of of Michelle and Dynamite's marriage.
Julie's brother committed suicide and Julie didn't have the support system around to prevent her from spiraling into heavy drinking.
In 1996, Bret Hart was filming a movie (Sinbad) in South Africa and halfway through, asked Julie to come join him. Julie is very honest about how she was self sabatoging her life at this point but was still deeply in love with Bret. She was excited to read an early draft of some Shakespeare work that was at a museum, but Bret couldn't be bothered to go with her so she went by herself.
She says her and Bret shared a perfect moment watching the sun set, but Bret got mad at her when she decided to record it.
Julie describes sneaking cigarettes because Bret didn't know she picked the habbit up again.
The trip ended when Julie was asking Bret something but he just ignored her several times in a row. When she finally looked at what had his attention, she saw he was gawking at a topless sunbather on the beach. She stormed off to the hotel room after telling Bret to show her more respect than that. Julie says Bret followed her to the room, with him saying she always ruins these trips. When Julie started packing her bags, she says Bret pushed her hard onto the bed. She started spewing insults at him, before, she says, Bret grabbed her by the hair and threw her from the bed and onto the floor! Julie says she started crying and demanding that Bret get her home immediately or else she would find someone who would. Bret screamed at her "Get the fuck out! I've had it with you! We're fucking done! I will put you on a plane tonight, but don't expect to win me back!"
Having read Bret's book, he does mention the trip to South Africa where he filmed the Sinbad movie. But Bret makes no mention of inviting Julie on the trip and instead points out how it coincided with a WWF tour in South Africa at the same time. Bret does talk about how the Dutch found the area and how beautiful itnwas there, which was something Julie mentioned as well that Bret talked about. Bret does mention getting a lot of ladies phone numbers on the last few days of the trip and seeing a drunk Yokozuna swapping spit with some South African PR woman when they were both very drunk. Bret makes no mention of Julie being there or how he got physical with her.
The Hart's always try to shy away from controversial truths, just ask any one of them where Bruce Hart met his wife. They will all say at a wrestling show, and neglect to mention how Bruce Hart was a 33 year old substitute teacher who knocked up his 17 year old student. Gross. (I'll never not bring this up when talking about the Hart's btw)
Julie talks about Mathew Hart, Georgia and BJ's son who died in 1996 from Necrotizing Fasciitis, a legitimate flesh eating virus. From everyone's account, the poor boy suffered for 2 weeks until he died. Julie says she and Bret took their kids on vacation when the poor kid died. A lot of people act as though the Hart Family curse started at the Screwjob in 1997, but really it started with Dean in 1990 and Mathew in 1996.
Julie remembers how gleeful Bret was when he called her up and bragged about giving a drunken Vince McMahon his tag team finishing move. Julie warned Bret that Vince wasn't the type to forget that and she suspects that it played a part in the screwjob. This sounds silly imo but what do I know, I found it an interesting and unique take if nothing else.
Julie remembers the morning of the 1997 Survivor Series ppv, someone warned Bret that Vince and Shawn were seen the night before talking and getting into an elevator together.
Julie says she and her lawyer were sitting somewhere in the arena as the Montreal Screwjob happened. Julie says she got up, looking at the monitor and said, "Holy shit, that's not supposed to happen!" And her lawyer, also shocked, said, "No, it is not."
Julie says she and the layer had to sprint to catch up to Bret and Vince and she describes her scolding of Triple H and Shawn Michaels, saying the words just poured out of her. It's maybe the most memorable scene of that documentary, watching Triple H and HBK shrink into children as Julie dresses them down.
Julie says the 1997 holidays were anything but cheerful and says she was boozing a lot and doing coke "from time to time."
Julie wanted to get a nanny or house keeper but Bret refused and put his foot down on the subject.
Julie says Bret asked for a divorce in early 1998 and she handled it poorly. She is critical of her immediate response to run away from home and stay at a hotel. When she returned home for clothes, her confused daughter asked her what was going on and a rageful Julie said "Your dad wants a divorce and I can't stay in the same house as him anymore! Julie says she was so blinded by her anger she didn't see the damage she was doing then.
Julie says that the Wrestling with Shadow's documentary crew needed Julie and Bret to reshoot something that didn't come out right when they originally shot it. So Julie and Bret had to pretend to be a in a marriage again talking things out about Bret's career. Julie says her and Bret slept together after they shot the scene and she was hurt when Bret said afterward, "One for the road, I guess."
The next time she heard from Bret, he told her to get a lawyer because he had one already.
Julie says she and Bret spent many nights yelling at eachother over the phone, with Bret calling her a whore and saying he didn't take all those bumps so Julie to take all his money. This is a statement Bret would repeat a lot to Julie over the years of them fighting. He would call her a money grabbing whore and how he didn't take a bunch of bumps so Julie could end up with the money.
Just as Julie was ready to sign custody papers, Bret's personal assistant contacted Julie and told her that Bret had been seeing some girl in the States for months. The assistant said she felt guilty arranging their meetups behind Julie's back. Julie said she later told Bret that she isn't signing shit and she needed to contact her lawyers with the new developments. She said Bret first tried denying it, calling his assistant jealous and a liar. Then Bret blamed Julie because Bret said he "couldn't get past her traumatic past." What the fuck Bret, I'm pretty sure he is referring to Julie being sexually assaulted as a teenager. (He makes this clear later in the book) Then he bragged about his new girl looking better than Julie and being younger than Julie, with Bret also saying the kids will love the new girl. Bret even later said Julie was getting heavier and letting herself go.
Pretty wild story here. Julie says that Bret started neglecting the kids, even when he was in town, and often skipped out on seeing them altogether. For Canada Day 1998 Bret promised to take them out and to the fireworks. Julie says they waited all day, expecting a fun evening with their dad. But Bret didn't show up with their friend Dean, until after 9pm, (stoned and drunk according to Julie) after Julie tried to call Bret repeatedly and got no answer.
Julie isn't proud of this, but says before Bret arrived that night, Julie had sat the kids down and told them Bret was off smoking pot with a new girlfriend. Julie knew immediately she shouldn't have said it, she saw her kids starting to cry and knew she tarnished how they look at their dad.
Bret was pissed off that Julie decided to take the kids to the fireworks, and when Julie had herself and the kids in the car, an enraged Bret started punching the drivers side window until Julie agreed to get out and talk.
Bret grabbed and dragged her off around the corner of the house where Julie defiantly told him that the kids know he smokes pot and is seeing someone else.
Julie says Bret snapped, slammed her hard up against the wall and yelled, "You bitch! I hate you! I hate you!" Then Julie claims that Bret grabbed her by the throat and slammed her on the ground where he continued to choke her until their son Blade came around the corner and screamed at Bret to get off his mom!
As Julie was catching her breath, their friend Dean, who was still there and in shock, tried to help Julie up. Bret took off with their son Blade and a panicked Julie called the police. She foolishly said to the 911 opperater that her husband pro wrestler, Bret Hart, had taken her child againt her will. The police arrived and seemingly didn't know who Bret was, tried to get Julie to press charges. The police were able to call Bret and convince him to bring the kid to the police station, so the cops could bring him home. Bret makes no mention of this in his book.
Julie says Bret stopped by the next day and apologized and tried to ask her to sit down for coffee. Julie explained how they scarred their children for life the night prior and she wasn't interested in speaking to him in friendly terms yet.
Julie defends Bret a bit by saying she could see in person that she wasn't the cause of his anger and that he was just deeply angry and disappointed with things. This would be 1998 and even Bret describes how bitter and despondent he was at this time. Julie says he stopped being around the kids and it hurt them, especially their boys Blade and Dallas who started getting a chip on their shoulders and seeking conflict. One time Julie asked Dallas about Bret and Dallas said, "He never calls and is never around."
Julie says things were getting stable but she and Bret started secretly sleeping together again and complicated things. She says Bret would pick her up and drove to a seedy part of town before casually dropping her off at home after. She says she was initially amused by this but eventually began to wonder how many other women Bret does this with. It made her feel uncomfortable to say the least.
One time as she was being dropped off, Julie asked Bret if he was happy. Bret said no and that he couldn't get happy. Then Bret asked if Julie was seeing anyone, but didn't let her answer, he just said "of course you are." Julie realizes now that Bret was suffering some deep depression and at the time she mistook codependency for love.
Eventually Bret's other girlfriend caught wind of his and Julie's rendezvous and made Bret break things off. Julie could hear the woman on the other end of the line when Bret called to inform Julie that they need to set boundaries in their relationship now.
Julie says Bret once called her to say he tested for hepatitis and that Julie should get checked out as well.
Julie later found out that the girl Bret was seeing was nearly the same age as their daughter.
Julie says her and Bret continued to sleep together behind his girlfriends back though, with Bret always asking for "coffee" before making a move, which Julie always reciprocated.
Bret would break up with his girlfriend near the end of 1998 and ask Julie if he can spend the holidays with her and the kids. Julie relents, and soon they seem to be trying to salvage their relationship with Bret more present then he ever has been.
Soon after the new year, Bret and Julie take a trip together to Hawaii. Julie finally builds up the courage to ask Bret what he thinks of them getting back together, and Bret says he doesn't want to get "trapped" again. Julie snapped and said, "That's it I'm done, I can't keep playing these games with you!"
During this conversation, as Julie was walking away, Bret randomly said, "My therapist said that sometimes girls, like the ones your age when all that stuff happens to you, they like it." Julie burst into tears and ran out of the room. What the fuck Bret, to imply that that when his wife was a 16 year old girl, she liked getting r*ped!
Helen Hart died a few weeks after 9/11 in 2001. She was from New York, and Julie remembers how devastated Helen was following the September attacks. Helen went back to New York a few weeks later to visit her sister, but due to the border concerns, she was held up for hours after her plane landed back in Calgary. She wasn't able to reach her insulin and eventually went into a coma.
Helen was on an off ventilation a few times while at the hospital, and one day Alison (Bret's sister) called and told him to come visit asap, because Helen was back on a ventilator and it wasn't looking good. Bret thought Alison being an alarmist and decided to visit the next day. Julie says she wishes they had visited that night, because Helen passed away a few hours later.
One afternoon, Julie came home to find her son Dallas on the phone, when she asked him who he was speaking to, Dallas said, "It's dad, but he sounds drunk." Bret told Julie that he fell off his bike and couldn't get up. He wasn't speaking clearly and couldn't properly explain where he was. Julie and her daughter Beans, drove around looking for Bret based off his perception and directions.
Julie and Beans found him laying casually in the grass, as if he was resting. She said one of Bret's eyes was wide open and the other was closed, and half his mouth was dropping. She struggled to move him as he slurred his words and insisted he was fine. Eventually an ambulance was called and Bret was loaded in.
Julie says the stroke changed him, made him mooder and more depressed. She isn't casting judgment, just pointing out changes she noticed as she spent every day at the hospital with him, helping to feed and cloth Bret, even helping him to the bathroom.
Julie remembers one night that Bret confided in her that he feared he got a stroke as punishment for all the bad things he done. He told her that the morning he got a stroke, he was planning on signing the divorce papers.
Several months later, with Bret moving aorund more, he spent Easter with Julie and the kids, but Julie found an email from some woman in Italy, directed to Bret and it suggested some heavy sexual stuff. Julie felt stupid and used again. When she confronted him on it, he denied anything and she reluctantly believed him.
A week later as Bret prepared for a trip, she found a plane ticket to Italy, when she asked Bret where he was going, he said England. Julie drove him to the airport and told him to get the fuck out.
Bret went to Italy to be with a fan he met at a contract signing, who was obsessed with him since she was a little girl. Julie says she is exactly what Bret needed to feel like the Hitman again. After reading Bret's book, this assessment is completely accurate.
The Italian woman's name was Cynthia and she was also just a year older than Bret's daughter Jade. Julie said Jade had the hardest time accepting Cynthia, whom Bret was determined to integrate into the family.
When Bret's dad Stu died, Julie remembers how she, Bret and Stu's granddaughter Jenni all stood by the bed and watched as he passed. She remembers how she kissed his cheek and told him he could go see Helen now, he didn't need to be here and longer. I remember the speech Stu gave at Helen's funeral, with one line in particular staying with me, "I'm glad for the time I had with her," he said full of love, but his pain was on display too, "Ill never get over this" he finished solemnly, "I don't have enough time."
Julie remembers one day that their son Blade called her from Bret's house, begging for her to pick him up. Blade and Bret started arguing about Cynthia, with Bret saying to his own son, "Don't make me pick between you and Cynthia, because I'll pick Cynthia! And if you don't like it you can get the fuck out!"
Julie started calling Bret "Hitman" when he acted like this to his children, with Julie telling them that their father still loves him and not to worry about what The Hitman says, because it's coming from a broken mind.
One day after Julie bought a house, Bret randomly showed up with a turkey and tried to hit on her. Julie found it amusing and asked him if Cynthia knew he was there. Bret tried to make a move on her but Julie made it clear that won't happen so Bret left. As he left, he told Julie, "I still have cravings for you and I'm not sure I'll ever get over them." To which Julie just cooly responded with, "You will."
After Bret left that day, Julie called his assistant who confirmed that Cynthia was literally on a plane back to Italy right then. Julie laughed at how pathetic it was for Bret to say goodbye to Cynthia and then an hour or two later, show up at Julie's with a turkey and looking for sex.
Bret secretly married Cynthia and months later told the kids after the fact. Their son Blade was so furious he could barely speak to Julie when he got home and eventually blurted out, "Dad married that girl!" Their other son Dallas was also furious and explained how Bret callously told the kids "tell your mom, make sure you tell your mom." He was clearly trying to hurt Julie and used the kids to do so.
When Bret was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame in 2006, Julie insisted on going and told Bret if he doesn't find a way for her to be there, then she would call Vince McMahon herself and arrange it. Bret promised her she would be there but asked her to be discreet about it.
Julie got asked to do an online interview leading up to the Hall of Fame, and she let slip that she would be at the show to support Bret. Later, an irate Bret called her, yelling about how she was supposed to be discreet. Julie clued in on the fact that Bret didn't tell his new wife yet about Julie coming and now he was in hot water. In the end, Bret refused to allow Julie to come to the Hall of Fame to support him.
In Bret's Hall of Fame speech, he just talked about his new wife and how Cynthia was there for him after his stroke and just put her over big. He didn't mention Julie and only mentioned 2 of his 4 children. She says her children were extremely hurt by this and calls it the ultimate betrayal.
Julie started running low on money in 2008 and even attempted to be on a reality show. It was all a BS scam though and she had to invest money into it and eventually it all fell through. She speaks of this with a bit of shame while framing it as something she learned from.
Julie was facing bankruptcy and foreclosure on the house, so as a last resort, she called Bret. She asked him for 9 grand to cover 3 mortgage payments so she can sell the house. Bret chastised her for having money problems before ultimately saying no. He suggested that she rent the house out or have the kids pay rent. As they left, Julie warned him that if she loses the house, Bret may need to take the kids at him place. She doesn't say what he said to this, but she does say, "His response was too cruel to put into writing." Good lord, considering all she told so far, I wonder what Bret said that was so bad, Julie didn't want to even write it down?
Julie does point out that Bret didn't owe her a damn thing and she was in this situation by her own doing. Julie felt like she was letting her kids down most of all.
Julie would move in with her daughter Beans where they split the rent together. She got a job making $14/hour working as a janitor at a local middle school and Julie notes that she was living well below the poverty line.
Julie remembers how absurd it was for her to show up to her janitor job driving a Lexus.
Julie ended up selling her Lexus to her daughter Beans, and Julie bought herself a 1999 Sunfire. It was the first car she ever bought with her own money.
Julie's father died in 2012 and Julie says she wrote a letter to him, promising to make him proud, and stuffed it inside his coffin.
Julie says she spends most of her days being a grandma to Jade's daughter and how grateful she is to be close to her kids still.
Bret can't say the same, Julie notes how he travels alone or with his wife and never offers invites to his kids. She says it breaks her heart to see how far Bret drifted away from their children, even if all her kids insist that they don't care. This was in 2013, so potentially Bret and his kinds could have a better relationship by now.
Julie spends the last several pages of the book detailing her kids and all the ways she loves them. You can tell she is a mother first and foremost, you can tell she loves them unconditionally. Jade, Dallas, Beans and Blade, weird names for kids but I also have a weird name so I can't judge.

I don't do any bird hunting, my buddy does ducks and I've never been interested. I read up on ndow's site and they mentioned that most turkey hunting is on private land. Which is a trip, considering how much public land we have.
Just any lay of the land would be appreciated. I thought it might be cool to learn, I like eating turkey, and my shotgun is just sitting there.

As always I shall try to keep this list updated at least once every four weeks until the post is again automatically locked after six months, preventing further edits.
In order to request any of these items you must go to the appropriate link for the Xbox Series X/S, Windows, PS5 or Steam. If you are playing on an older system it is simple to reach its page from one of these direct links. I am sure it goes without saying your player account must have sufficient Atoms available to pay for the item/s you choose. As part of the process Bethesda Support will respond to your request by ticket and email with the total cost of whatever you order.
This page from the Wikia entry for Fallout76 may help with working out some of the bundles' contents. I cannot swear for the accuracy of the data however as with all wikis it is community-created support material.
I have had quite a few comments asking how long you can expect to wait. The answer is that it varies. In my own experience I have had items redeemed for my character within two hours. I have also had to wait for more than a month. Much of the process seems to be automated now and I would say the average time these days seems between two to four days.
This list is up-to-date as of 12.05.2024:

1. Ace Full Assault Power Armor Paint
2. Alien Plushie
3. Alien Technology Bundle
4. Aluminum Trees
5. Amateur Inventor's Laser Gun Paint
6. American Flag Set
7. Angry Fist Shake
8. Animatronic Cat
9. Appalachian Thunder Pipe Gatling Gun Paint
10. Armored Raider Skull Gas Mask
11. Armory Weapon Paint Bundle
12. Army Issue Plasma Caster Paint
13. Astroturf
14. Atomic Blast Lamp
15. Barbed Chained Tire Set
16. Beer Barrel Fridge
17. Big Game Hunter
18. Big Red Button Icon
19. Black Bear Mascot
20. Black Cat Bundle
21. Black Knight Paint
22. Black Pip-Boy Paint
23. Black Rider Power Armor
24. Blood Eagle Bow Skin
25. Blood Eagle Bundle
26. Blood Eagle Power Armor Paint
27. Blood Eagle Totem
28. Bloody Arktos Refrigerator
29. Bombs Away Mobile
30. Bone and Felt Antler Headband Set
31. Bone Gas Mask
32. Bonnet
33. BOS Backpack
34. BOS Scouting Tower
35. Bottle Icon
36. Boxing Ring
37. Brambles
38. Brew-haha Bundle
39. Brotherhood Armory
40. Brotherhood Bundle
41. Brotherhood High Tech Stash
42. Brotherhood of Steel Digital Deluxe Bundle
43. Bubble Blower Machine
44. Bucking Brahmin Bundle
45. Bucking Brahmin Mask
46. Bucking Brahmin Ride
47. Bunker Bundle
48. Burgundy Modular Sofa Set
49. C.A.M.P. Structure Starter Bundle
50. Cactus Set
51. Camden Park Mega Bundle
52. Camo Secret Service Armor Paint
53. Camo Secret Service Underarmor
54. Camo Utility Cap
55. Cappy's Nuka-Cola Train Bundle
56. Captain Cosmos Outfit
57. Captain Cosmos Power Armor
58. Captain Cosmos Power Armor Bundle
59. Caravan Trader Outfit
60. Carnivorous Plant
61. Cash Register Vending Machine
62. Castle Bed
63. Cat Topiary
64. Cement Tire Set
65. Chalk Letter Kit
66. Charleston Fire Station
67. Charleston Fire Station Bundle
68. Christmas Sitting Room Bundle
69. Cinder Blocks Wallpaper
70. Clandestine Gauss Weapons Bundle
71. Clandestine Service Gauss Shotgun Paint
72. Clandestine Service Minigun Paint
73. Classic Jukebox
74. Classic Performance Stage
75. Classic Western Bundle
76. Classical Column
77. Classy Girl Player Icon
78. Clean Bathroom Bundle
79. Clean Billboard
80. Clean Boxing Ring
81. Clean Chally Outfit
82. Clean Mannequin Set
83. Clean Shower
84. Clean Sink
85. Clean Small Generator
86. Clean Toilet
87. Clean Water Purifier
88. Clean White Picket Fences
89. Coal Duster Excavator Power Armor Paint
90. Coffin Backpack
91. Coffin Decoration
92. Coffin Stash Box
93. Collectron Bundle
94. Colored Oval Lights
95. Comforts of Home Bundle
96. Comin' to Town Bundle
97. Communal Firepit
98. Communist Bunker
99. Communist Collectron Station
100. Communist Fence
101. Communist Handmade Gun Skin
102. Communist Militant Outfit
103. Communist Military Safe Stash Box
104. Communist Officer's Gas Mask
105. Communist Salute Emote
106. Communist Spy Bundle
107. Communist Spy Outfit
108. Contemporary C.A.M.P. Bundle
109. Cowboy Hat
110. Cowhide Outfit
111. Creepy Mothman Player Icon
112. Crypt Crook Backpack
113. Cuddles Outfit
114. Cultist Dungeon Bundle
115. Dark Harlequin Face Paint
116. Dark Matter Combat Rifle Paint
117. Dark Wood Laminate
118. Dart Board
119. Dead Man's Hand Posters
120. Death Awaits Skull Totem
121. Death Ray Bug Zapper
122. Decorative Room Divider
123. Deep Cave Bundle
124. Deep Cave Hunter Outfit
125. Diamond Eyes Face Paint
126. Down Home Comfort Bundle
127. Down Home Dweller Bundle
128. Down Home Wallpaper Set
129. Duster
130. Easter Bundle
131. Easter Rabbit Plushie
132. Electro 2000 Fireplace
133. Elm Tree Set
134. Encampment Bridge
135. Encampment Fences
136. Encampment Fortress Bundle
137. Enclave Backpack
138. Enclave Bundle
139. Enclave C.A.M.P. Bundle
140. Enclave Power Armor Paint
141. Enclave Turret Set
142. Equalizer Power Armor Paint
143. Eye Patch Bundle
144. F.E.T.C.H. Collectron Station
145. Fancy Thanksgiving Display Case
146. Farm Life C.A.M.P. Bundle
147. Fasnacht Bundle
148. Fasnacht C.A.M.P. Bundle
149. Fasnacht Collectron Station
150. Fasnacht Mask Bundle
151. Fasnacht Mask Display
152. Fasnacht Mystical Mask Bundle
153. Fat Man Aviator Paint
154. Feral Ghoul Bundle
155. Feral Ghoul Costume
156. Fez
157. Fire Chief Bundle
158. Fire Hazard Backpack
159. Firewatch Tower
160. Firing Range Posters
161. Fish Lamp
162. Floor Walker Outfit
163. Flower Cart
164. Fluorescent Light Set
165. Flyboy Bundle
166. Flyboy Icon
167. Flyboy Outfit
168. Four Poster Bed
169. Free States Scout Armor Paint
170. Freedom Stars Neon Sign
171. Freight Wagon
172. Fringed Dress
173. Future-Tec Bundle
174. Gag Glasses Bundle
175. Gala Dress
176. Gala Tuxedo
177. Gatling Plasma Copperhead Paint
178. Ghillie Netting Bundle
179. Ghoul Icon
180. Giant Neon Letters
181. Gladiator Outfit
182. Glow-in-the-Dark Map
183. Gold 50 Cal Machine Gun Paint
184. Gold Mr. Fuzzy Kiddie Ride
185. Gold Mr. Rocket Kiddie Ride
186. Golden Years Set
187. Good Fortunes Bundle
188. Grafton Monster Mascot Outfit
189. Grahm Plushie
190. Grahm's Green Bundle
191. Green Thumb Bundle
192. Greenhouse Kit
193. Greenhouse Kit Bundle
194. Grognak Battlecry
195. Grognak Hero Bundle
196. Grognak Plushie
197. Gurney Bed Set
198. H.A.R.E. Power Armor Skin
199. Halberd
200. Halloween C.A.M.P. Bundle
201. Halo and Horns Set
202. Hammock
203. Hanging Planters
204. Haunted House C.A.M.P. Bundle
205. Haunted House Floor
206. Haunted House Porch Set
207. Haunted House Staircase
208. Hay Bales
209. Heart Balloons
210. Hellcat Outfit Bundle
211. Hellfire Regulator Power Armor Paint
212. Hero Statue Set
213. High-Powered Weapon Racks
214. High-Tech Stash
215. Holiday Nuclear Tree
216. Holiday Tree
217. Holidays Emote Bundle
218. Hot Tub
219. Hubris Comics Magazine Rack
220. Hubris Comics Wallpaper
221. Hunting Lodge Bundle
222. I Survived!
223. Imposter Assaultron Head
224. Inflatable Snowman
225. Inner Tube Deck Chair
226. Jail Walls
227. Junk Fences
228. Junkyard C.A.M.P. Bundle
229. Junkyard Dog Collectron Station
230. Junkyard Power Armor Paint
231. Kill, Laugh, Love Neon Sign
232. Landscape Painting
233. Large Nuka-Cola Bottle
234. Large Succulent Set
235. Laser Grid Door
236. Laundered Blue Dress
237. Laundered Cream Dress
238. Laundered Rose Dress
239. Leper'chaun Outfit
240. Leprechaun Bundle
241. Leprechaun Outfit
242. Liberator Bot Lamp
243. Liberty Prime Power Armor Skin Set
244. Light Bulb Letters Set
245. Light Wood Laminate
246. Lion Dancer Outfit
247. Log Cabin Kit
248. Log Cabin Porch Set
249. Lover Girl Icon
250. Lucille's Lullaby
251. Lumberjack Bundle
252. Lumberjack Outfit
253. Makeshift Mega Mansion
254. Mascot Head
255. Matte Black Equalizer Power Armor Paint
256. Matte Black Handmade Paint
257. Mausoleum Bundle
258. Meat Cooler Backpack
259. Medical Scrubs
260. Medical Smile Mask
261. Medieval C.A.M.P. Bundle
262. Megaton Hairstyle
263. Military Beret Bundle
264. Mini Deathclaw Statue
265. Mini Nuke Planter
266. Mini Power Armor Statue
267. Minigun Chrome Paint
268. Missile Silo Shelter
269. Missile Silo Shelter Bundle
270. Mob Boss Bundle
271. Modern Ceiling Fan
272. Modern Fireplace
273. Modular Mainframe Set
274. Mole Rat Generator Suite
275. Mole Rat Icon
276. Mole Rats Painting
277. Monocle
278. Montani Semper Liberi
279. Moonshine Mama Mask
280. Mosaic Tiles
281. Mothman Bed
282. Mothman Cultist C.A.M.P. Bundle
283. Mothman Cultist Goat Totem
284. Mothman Cultist Icon
285. Mothman Cultist Torches
286. Mothman Curtain Door
287. Mothman Frame
288. Mothman Furniture Set
289. Mothman Gas Mask
290. Mothman Hunter Bundle
291. Mothman Hunter Outfit
292. Mothman Jetpack
293. Mothman Neon Billboards
294. Mothman Outfit Bundle
295. Mothman Pip-Boy Paint
296. Mothman Plushie Backpack
297. Mothman Poster
298. Mothman Power Armor Paints and Lamp
299. Mothman Sleeping Bag
300. Mothman Statue
301. Mothman Traveler Bundle
302. Mothman Wallpaper Bundle
303. Mothman Worship Emote
304. Mountaineer Outfit
305. Mounted Fish Set
306. Mounted Radhog Head
307. Movie Poster Set
308. Mr. Claus Player Icon
309. Mr. Claus' Suit
310. Mr. Fuzzy Backpack
311. Mr. Fuzzy Balloon Animal
312. Mr. Fuzzy Cowboy Plushie
313. Mr. Fuzzy Halloween Plushie
314. Mr. Fuzzy Kiddie Ride
315. Mr. Fuzzy New Year's Plushie
316. Mr. Fuzzy Player Icon
317. Mr. Fuzzy Power Armor Helmet
318. Mr. Fuzzy Tinker's Workbench
319. Mr. Fuzzy Valentine's Day Plushie
320. Mr. Pebbles Lamp
321. Mr. Pebbles Plushie
322. Mr. Pebbles Space Explorer Backpack
323. Mr. Rocket Kiddie Ride
324. Mrs. Claus' Dress
325. Mrs. Claus Player Icon
326. Mudflap Hat Set
327. Mummy Dearest Icon
328. Mushroom Lamp
329. Mutant Dummy
330. Nautical Anchor Tattoo
331. Neighborhood Square Shelter
332. Neon Palm Reader Sign
333. Neon Sign Set
334. New Year's Banner
335. New Year's Eve Bundle
336. New Year's Icon
337. New Year's Tuxedos Bundle
338. Night Eyes Icon
339. Night Terror Gauss Rifle Paint
340. No Thank You Emote
341. No Way Emote
342. Northern Lights Paint T-51 Power Armor Paint
343. Nuclear Winter Poster Set
344. Nuka-Cola Bottle Display Rack
345. Nuka-Cola Bundle
346. Nuka-Cola Cask Stool
347. Nuka-Cola Cooler
348. Nuka-Cola Cooler Backpack
349. Nuka-Cola Curtain Door
350. Nuka-Cola Dark Power Armor Paints
351. Nuka-Cola Delivery Bundle
352. Nuka-Cola Jumpsuit Set
353. Nuka-Cola Neon Sign
354. Nuka-Cola Projection Lamp
355. Nuka-Cola Quantum Bottle Lamp
356. Nuka-Cola Quantum Bundle
357. Nuka-Cola Quantum Sign
358. Nuka-Cola Secret Door Bundle
359. Nuka-Cola Stained Glass Lamps
360. Nuka-Cola Vending Machine
361. Nuka-Cola Wallpaper Set
362. Nuka-Girl Rocketsuit
363. Old Man Summer Mask
364. Old Possum Bar Sign
365. Old West Bar Set
366. Ole Timey Diner Bundle
367. Outhouse
368. Pack Rat Backpack
369. Pajamas
370. Pale Rider Photoframe
371. Pale Rider Power Armor
372. Pallet Wood Floor
373. Pallet Wood Wallpaper
374. Parachute Backpack
375. Park Ranger Bundle
376. Park Ranger Power Armor Skin
377. Patriotic The Fixer Paint
378. Pickaxe Pilsner Bar Sign
379. Pink Neon Heart Sign
380. Pipe Organ
381. Pitt Scaffold Kit
382. Plague Doctor Mask
383. Plain Curtain Door
384. Plasma Ball Set
385. Plotting Table
386. Plushie C.A.M.P. Bundle
387. Poodle Skirt
388. Portrait Secret Door
389. Potted Succulents
390. Pristine Moe the Mole Outfit
391. Pumpkin Vault Girl Head
392. Raider Collectron Station
393. Raider Culinarian Outfit
394. Raider Pathfinder Outfit
395. Raider Salute
396. Raider Skinner Outfit
397. Raider Skull Gas Mask
398. Raider Vending Machine
399. Raider Warlord Outfit
400. Raider Waster Bundle
401. Rain Water Collector
402. Raven Perch
403. Red Enamel Stove
404. Red Menace Backpack
405. Red Menace Bundle
406. Red Modular Mainframe
407. Red Rocket Diner Set
408. Red Rocket Door
409. Red Rocket Garage
410. Red Rocket Mega Furniture Bundle
411. Red Rocket Power Connectors
412. Red Rocket Ranger Power Armor Bundle
413. Red Rocket Stash Box
414. Red Scare Power Armor Skin
415. Red Shift Backpack
416. Red Shift Floor
417. Red Shift Power Armor Skin
418. Responder Power Armor Paint
419. Responders Bundle
420. Rest in Pieces C.A.M.P. Bundle
421. Revolutionary Bundle
422. Revolutionary Outfit
423. Roadtripper Outfit
424. Robber Halloween Bundle
425. RobCo Snow Machine
426. Robot Steins Display Case
427. Rocket Ceiling Fan
428. Round Deck Table
429. RR Ranger Power Armor Paint
430. Rusted Chain link Fence
431. Rusted Junkyard Power Armor Paint
432. Rustic Fountain
433. Rustic Greenhouse Bundle
434. Rustic Greenhouse Kit
435. Rustic Room Divider
436. Rustic Sink
437. Rusty Raider Skull Gas Mask
438. Samurai Outfit
439. Santa Bag Backpack
440. Santa Statue
441. Santa's Slay Power Armor Bundle
442. Santatron Collectron Station
443. Satellite Dish
444. Scavenger Collectron Station
445. Screaming Eagle Handmade Gun Skin
446. Screaming Eagle Wood Skin
447. Secret Service Backpack
448. Secret Service Bobblehead Stand
449. Secret Service Camo Bundle
450. Secret Stash Bookcase
451. Seedy Shed
452. Sequin Dress
453. Shadow Prime Power Armor Skin
454. Share the Love Bundle
455. Sheepsquatch Plushie
456. Shelter Catwalk Bundle
457. Shelters Mainframe Bundle
458. Shogatsu Bundle
459. Silver Shroud Costume
460. Silver Shroud Plushie
461. Six Pack Loot Bag
462. Skull Lord War Suit
463. Skull Mask
464. Skull Totem Set
465. Slocum's Joe C.A.M.P. Bundle
466. Slocum's Joe Coffee Machine
467. Snow Globe Lamp
468. Snowglobe
469. Solid Color Wallpaper Set
470. Space Suit
471. Spiked Barricade
472. Spikehawk Hairstyle
473. Spring Bundle
474. Square Rug Bundle
475. Stainless Steel Refrigerator
476. Stalker Outfit
477. Standing Lamp
478. Stanley
479. Stocking Set
480. Street Lamps
481. Stuffed Radstag
482. Summer Shorts
483. Sun Hat
484. Super Angry
485. Survivalist Outfit
486. Thanksgiving Bundle
487. Thanksgiving Kitchen Bundle
488. The Nighthawk Skin
489. The Quack Outfit
490. Theremin
491. Top Secret Door
492. Trailblazer Bundle
493. Turkey Mascot Outfit
494. Untarnished Alien Blaster Paint
495. Valentine's Backpack
496. Vampire Costume
497. Vault Boy/Girl Power Armor Helmet Set
498. Vault Girl Mascot Head
499. Vault Girl Scribble Head
500. Vault-Tec Grandfather Clock
501. Vault-Tec Laser Gun Paint
502. Vault-Tec Locker Bay
503. Vault-Tec Refrigerator
504. Vault-Tec Spa
505. Vault-Tec Starter Bundle
506. Vendor Sign Set
507. Vintage Linen Coat
508. Wall Weapon Racks
509. War Rider Power Armor
510. Warband Face Paint
511. Waste Barrel Planter
512. Wasteland Trapper Outfit
513. Wasteland Werewolf Outfit
514. Watchpost
515. Waterbed
516. Wavy Willard's Letters
517. Wavy Willard's Park Bundle
518. Wavy Willard's Swimsuit Bundle
519. Wavy Willard's Wipeout Slide Bundle
520. Welcome Friends Sign
521. Welcome Home Neon Sign
522. Welcome to Helvetia Bundle
523. West Virginia Table Set
524. Western Bar Bundle
525. White Wallpaper
526. Whitesprings C.A.M.P. Bundle
527. Whitesprings Wallpaper Set
528. Wildman Rags
529. Wildwood Den Bundle
530. Wildwood Tavern
531. Wildwood Tavern Bundle
532. Willard Plushie
533. Wolf Howl Emote
534. Worm Farm
535. Wrought Iron Fence
536. Zoltan Fortune Teller

Well to be honest Islam is said to be the fastest growing religion in the world.This was said as per a PEW research study years ago. However I have noticed a trend in muslim countries.Their birthrates are falling very fast.By fast I mean REAL FAST.
Indonesia's birthrate in 1970 was 5.3,today it is 2.1. Bangladesh had a birthrate of 6.8 in 1971 but now it's 1.9. Algeria's fertility dropped from 7.6 in 1971 to 2.8 in 2021. Libya dropped from 8.1 to 2.4 Oman dropped from 8.1 to 2.6 Egypt dropped from 6.7 to 2.9 Malaysia dropped from 6.1 to 1.8 Morocco dropped from 7 to 2.3 Tunisia dropped from 6.9 to 2. Qatar dropped from 6.7 to 1.8.
Similarly it is said that Islam has a lot of converts but their net gain is literally zero.By that I mean that the number of people to join Islam is equal to the number of people leaving it. In the US about 100 K people leave it per year. In France 15 K do so. About 24% of western adults who were raised muslim have swayed away from the cult. About more that 60% of Iran's population is now non-muslim. Turkey is about 18% atheist.Among the youth the number is 28.5%. Then how the hell is Islam the fastest growing religion?
(Every peice of detail is from Google and Wikipedia.I've made nothing out of myself and you can even check the aforementioned fertility rates. )

First/Previous
Gemma was right about the sky’s open night, and I could sympathize with her recollection of the beauty, but for me it must’ve been a greater tragedy—the young woman had only ever enjoyed the stars in the pits of Golgotha; I could, long before, drink in the sky at leisure. Cruel memories.
The night the Rednecks died was one of viscera, but before that it was coolness on the breeze, a warmth by the fires while John played his guitar and we had only just taken two dozen kegs of lager (personal reserves) from the Atlanta despot—the man that kept his subjects as slaves and not a person among the camp was left without budding intoxication. No matter the age, everyone was invited to be merry; if it was that children too faced the plight of a bad world, then so too should they reap the moments of plenty—or so the camp figured.
John had taken a group by the fires where wagons were drawn in interlocking semicircles for cover and Jackson sat beside the picker. Jackson was a man which normally preferred quiet reflection over boisterous singing and nearly never wore the band on his throat, and yet there he was belting out the chorus at the top of his lungs, tankard in hand, red cloth blazed around his neck—it was a contagion and those drunk enough for easier embarrassment sang proudly along:
“There is power, there is power in a band of working folk!
When we stand hand in hand,
That’s a power, that’s the power,
That must rule in every land!”
I’d taken to the outlying shadows with my back pressed against the gas-powered caleche, my own tankard in hand. I loved the warmth of that great big family, truly, but even in those days—and maybe it was that queer youthfulness which longed for individualism that made me that way then—I remained as distanced as possible when I could. I sipped the lager, it was a fine drink and my brother Billy, nearly as old as I was when I’d first taken up in the infantry, swaggered to stand beside me just as quiet for minutes and we looked at the stars and he asked me what it was like to kill a man.
“Is it hard?” he asked.
I nodded, “Sometimes.”
“Killing monsters ain’t so bad. Don’t know if I could do it to a person.”
“You could if they meant to kill you; or if they meant to do it to someone you cared about,” I promised him. In those days, spry, energized, I held no time for staring into abysses; though I still wasn’t a man fully, I pretended as one. It was about family, and it was about doing what was right—what’s right seemed to change, or I changed. The world felt stark with good and evil and even later I’d feel that sentiment well up in me, but if that’s true, I know I stand more on the latter and so I intentionally obfuscated it—this I know. If not, it might be too much to bear. I was required to lie to myself and even in knowing I lied, it was better.
Billy tugged on the red kerchief around his throat and asked me how it looked on him.
“Looks good,” I said.
“Don’t think I look stupid at all?”
I smiled over my drink, “You always look stupid.” I sipped. “The neckwear’s fine.”
“Give me a break,” said Billy; he investigated his own cup, gave it a swish with his wrist, watching its contents swirl. “Aren’t you ever afraid you’ll die?”
“Sometimes—nights like this—I wouldn’t mind it.”
“Really?” my brother asked.
“There’s always a chance of it. Every moment, I guess.”
He smiled. “I wish I had that confidence.”
“You’ll get it,” I returned his smile; it was true that he would gain the fighting spirit. It came to us all with time and reminiscing on the early days, I recall the grit and the hatred—there was learning there too though. Besides, I’d seen the squalors of a stationary man. The stagnation of a place, an unmoving home.
John put his guitar away and laughter erupted from the crowd from something said and Sibylle, cowboy hat cocked funny, traipsed across the camp to the open keg for a refill; the man there, tending the cylinders, was a man named Tandy (a foreigner and one unknown besides the way he smoked a skunk pipe and told wild stories). My mother leaned over while Tandy opened the spigot mouth on the keg, and she froze there, and I could see her there cut out forever against the light of the fires; I watched, and it came so suddenly that I couldn’t be sure what’d happened at all. It was so sudden that I couldn’t find my weapon and I couldn’t find even the courage to fight because in those moments it wasn’t courage I needed, it was grounds to understand.
Sibylle came apart in two pieces immediately, torn completely through and dust erupted as her legs struck the ground while her torso spun through the air like a top, a trail of liquid trailed after, caught in the blue of night so it shone as black; she couldn’t scream. Tandy was a statue. Before anyone could react, more flesh, other bodies, went up and there was all manner of limbs which filled the ground, and it is astounding how quickly a red mist forms across the ground during a massacre. Perhaps the wails of my comrades started before, perhaps others fell before Sibylle, but I could not comprehend the goings-on till I saw her drop the way she did.
Frail human screams rose on the night; I slammed to the ground, tankard gone away and hands scrambling in the dirt; I reached up blindly and yanked Billy to my level and his expression was one of innocence, panic, tears even. Glancing around, I saw the demons bolt from the pitch-black darkness on the edges of camp, mutants taking the fore while greater creatures lurked further back, some hurled whips of gliding metal which writhed over their heads when they stretched them out for a strike—alien—and they sliced directly through soft human bodies. Not even a cry escaped me, but Billy let go with it and I slapped my cupped hand over his mouth hard to hold the screams. His voice would not have been alone anyway, not alongside that startling cacophony. Amidst the cries of people, there were the cries of horses, of our hounds.
We rolled across the ground, slipped beneath the raised body of the gas-powered caleche, remained quiet in the dark, peeked out between the wheels.
“What’s happening?” Billy whispered through my fingers; I removed my hand from him and caught a glimpse of him framed in a square of firelight through the wheels—we lay there on our bellies and the left side of his face was glazed with dirt where I’d pulled him down.
“Shh,” I told him, “Shh, please. Please.” Not another word came while I pleaded with him, pleaded with the world to make this all a nightmare.
Through the haze and the running silhouettes painted black, I saw what might have been Jackson; he stumbled and in the moment that it took me to gasp, his head was gone from his body, his torso slid on as he collapsed, came to rest mere feet from the motor wagon. I told myself that it wasn’t him, but it probably was.
Some mutants lumbered through the camp like animated corpses, some leapt with wild energy or sprayed noxious fumes which lingered in the air; others still were amalgams of humanlike limbs themselves—fiends—exhausting terrible sounds, producing smells of sulfur, glistening with whatever liquids excreted from their oblong alien orifices. Demons ran amok, chanted in devil tongued languages, laughed madly at the destruction—others still, those which displayed some greater intelligence, broke into a song I could never hope or want to replicate; it seemed a unified damnation.
“Please,” I repeated in a whimper and Billy hushed me this time and I realized we were holding hands, squeezing for dear life as figures walked the camp, speared those half-alive, elected others for twisted carnality.
In darkness, in fright plainly, we scuttled from the recess of our hiding place, kept quiet, held to each other, and went into the wasteland where nothing was—every shadow was a potential threat, every second could’ve been the last. We were holding hands; then we weren’t.
Only a glance—that’s all I afforded my brother and nothing more—what a joke of a person I am! What a coward I was. Always.
Something got him in the dark and instead of dying alongside those I cared about, I went on, heartbeat driving me till it was all that I heard in my ears and my muscles ached and my chest heaved and sweat covered me, chilled me in the breeze of the night—it was only once I’d accepted the dark completely, crawled into a hollowed space of rocks along a squat ridge that I watched the demolished camp; it seemed no larger than a spark, but the creatures, fiends and others continued their war cries; never before had I witnessed demons participate in such an attack.
I watched till the sun came, till the fires became smoke, then I watched the band of hell creatures disband. The smell of sulfur remained in the air—copper too—and I stumbled back to the camp in a dreamlike daze, totally unbelieving of the things I saw. Among those dead on the ground, I could recognize none; among those piked from rear to shoulder, standing like morbid scarecrows where they’d been steadied against the ground, I could not want to recognize.
Many of the wagons were overturned, including the gas-powered caleche and I went to it; the metal of its body was warped but I fell to the ground by it and pushed my back against the exposed undercarriage, remained frozen there while examining the bodies, the terrible strips of skin which rested places like wet sheets of paper, the piles of bones removed and smashed and piled.
I cried so deeply that oxygen became a memory, and the shakes couldn’t be contained.
It was like that for so long, knees pulled up, face pushed between, and the wails came unafraid of whatever attention they might garner; there was no rationale, but I imagine if there had been, I would’ve welcomed death in that misery. It was a deep wound that not even my own cowardice would overcome for the sake of survival.
Unaware of my surroundings, not wanting to look up from the ground between my legs, the noise which had started out as imaginary became real and I raised my head then to listen better and wipe my sore eyes; it was the sound of clip-clop horse hooves and I mildly wondered if any of the animals had been spared. I stood and pivoted around the dead camp and there it was, a man on a painted horse with golden hair; he leisurely drove the mount through the place, maneuvering around pools of blood, clumps of body parts and upon seeing me, he smiled and offered a languid wave, keeping one of his gloved hands on the reins.
The man wore white and swished his hair back upon arriving directly in front of me. Ahoy, he offered kindly, Did you happen to see the other riders?
I shook my head, feeling numb.
Ah, he said, I could have sworn four other riders, at least, passed me on my way. His gray eyes examined the carnage. Shame. He shook his head. You are?
“H-harlan.”
He nodded and nearly offered an expression of genuine condolence before descending from the horse; the animal gave a gentle grunt and wandered away from its master to inspect a nearby group of the dead. The man offered his hand, and I took it in a shake. Mephisto, said the man. He flashed a smile again before his face grew serious. I’ve come to you to deal.
I shot him a questioning look, one of bafflement.
I heard your calls from far off. He nodded, removed a white handkerchief from his breast pocket and swiped it down his face. Hot out. He shrugged then replaced the cloth in his pocket. This, he motioned to the disarray of vehicles, of bodies, I can’t fix all this—it’s too much—but there’s a person you love, I know. I could bring them back.
“Doctor?” In retrospect it was such a naïve question.
He shook his head.
“Angel?”
He grinned and nodded, Sure.
“Demon?”
Undoubtedly. His eyes—pits of gray in that radiant face—nearly expressed solemness; he daintily shook the hair from his face and looked at his steed which sniffed a corpse. What’s the word, Harlan? There are others calling and I must be on my way soon—I can’t dally. There was a sharpness to the words. Can’t dally. We must convene soon, or I’ll mosey on.
I snorted back the clog in my nose from the tears and wiped my eyes with my sleeves. “Okay.”
Deal?
I nodded, “Deal.”
Sleep tonight, said Mephisto, Sleep and you’ll be rewarded in the morning.
“You said it’s a deal.”
He nodded and scanned the carnage before we matched gazes and then he said, Yes?
“What is it you want from me?”
Nothing you need now. He called the horse, and it came, and he swept his feet quickly from the ground and settled into position atop the animal. Sleep, Harlan. You won’t be bothered. There are worse things still over the horizon.
I watched him go till he disappeared and once he was gone, I couldn’t cry anymore and instead rummaged through the wagons for what I might carry; along the way I found John, face twisted but corpse intact. The body from the previous night that I’d guessed was Jackson couldn’t be determined but I found him nowhere else. I slid Sibylle’s holster from her hips, fell hard onto the ground and found that I could sob more. I took her cowboy hat, placed it on my head and held her pistol in one hand and the belt holster dangled from the other while I searched the other bodies; there were so many, but I could not find Billy.
Waiting for darkness, I took the spot where I rested, back against the caleche’s undercarriage, watched the sky and felt the gun in my hand; it was heavy. I put it to my head, closed my eyes, and whispered affirmations to myself then I put the pistol between my splayed legs, watched it still in the dirt, and pulled the hat down over my eyes but it did little for the smell. Though the brim of the hat cut the sky out, I watched the ground and saw circling shadows form overhead and heard calls of turkey vultures; they came to pick over the bodies. I withdrew my knees to my chest there again and laid my forearm across them and bit into my arm while closing my eyes. I had thought I was a man and for a time, maybe I was, but there in that miserable pit of despair I became a child again and if I’d become more delirious, I’m sure I might’ve called out for Jackson like it was a bad dream.
Into a fading stupor of sleep in the sun I went and when I awoke again it was dark and chilly and I was tired and hungry but too sick to eat and hardly strong enough to move; I looked at the gun and put it into its holster and left it there by the caleche. In the light of the moon and stars, I moved to gather a bolt of canvas; I unfurled the fabric and created a leaning shelter against the overturned vehicle and crawled into it. There was a hole in the canvas, and I peeked out at the stars.
Weeping came again, but not so uproarious; I was stuck there letting go of whimpers, lying on my back, feeling the tears trace in lines from the outer corners of my eyes to collect along my earlobes. In time, I fell to sleep again on the hard ground because the mourning had taken all else from me.
A pinpoint of sunlight broke my eyelids and I jerked awake and reached for the holster, but it was gone. So was the hat. I crawled from the leaning shelter and there he was.
Billy stood plainly among the dried, congealed blood-soaked field and he looked on to the horizon and all shadows were long in the midday sun which hung up there in a soft blue sky. Whether it be a dream or a spell, I couldn’t care—I charged to him and spun him so he faced me and though his face was plain and expressionless, I wrapped him into a forceful hug. He placed his hands on my back and gave a gentle squeeze; when I pulled from him, my hands on his shoulders, I saw he held Sibylle’s hat in his left hand, pinched by the brim; he’d already tugged her holster belt around his hips—he could have it all. I shook while holding him then let go to wipe my face.
“You’re alive,” I nodded.
He nodded without speaking then looked at the hat in his hand and placed it on his head and firmly pressed it down.
“Billy! Hell, you’re alive!”
The corners of his mouth twitched upward for a moment then he nodded again. “Yeah.” His eyes curiously searched our surroundings like he meant to take each detail in forever.
I slapped him on the shoulder and almost squealed. “Goddammit.” I wiped my eyes again and could do little to keep the excitement from exploding from me. “Oh, we should go. We should go on and get somewhere safe.”
He nodded toward the horizon, “’Lanta?”
“Sure.”
We packed and it was a like an ethereal phantom remained among us beside the quiet dead; turkey vultures cawed to break the silence, pecked where they pleased on the bodies, and I couldn’t want to fight them. I kept sidelong eyes on Billy with the ever-present worry that he’d vanish. Perhaps he was the phantom.
From the rear of the caleche, I removed a few sentimental books Jackson liked, essential cookware, and sparse rations for the trek. The last thing I grabbed was my shotgun and a bit of ammo.
As we set from the dead place, the terrible silhouettes that were cut from there on the horizon behind us grew in my mind with every backward glance—I wanted to fall to pieces, but I saw Billy walk alongside me and although contented is not the right word, it is the nearest. The steps of our boots were all that was heard because I could not fathom to pierce the space between us with words for fear that it would all end. It was a dream, surely. I’d lost my mind. With my hands thumbed into the straps of my pack, I saw I my hands still shook, and they would shake a lot longer—years and with memories too. The crunch of earth underfoot became a rhythm and instead of looking at my brother, I watched his shadow on the ground.
“Everyone’s dead?” He asked.
“Yeah.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yeah,” I repeated.
“How ain’t I? How ain’t you?”
To say that it was luck would’ve been too morbid. Instead of saying anything, I shrugged, kicked a loose stone, watched my feet some more, and felt a queasiness come over me. For the moment, the immeasurable deaths of those I’d left behind were forgotten in the company of my brother and a sickness welled up inside of me so suddenly that I felt that I’d fall to pieces at the slightest provocation. Finally, I did speak again, but only after steeling myself to the troubles, “Yeah, how are you alive?”
Billy shrugged at me then stumbled up a hill which overlooked trash wood wilderness where sticks lay twisted and bare and further on the sight of Atlanta was visible and I cupped a hand across my brow and Billy did the same and we looked on at the shadows of the place out there where strings of smoke rose from the skyline as a signature for the desolation of the city; it was dead. I felt it in my bones.
My hands were light while my head was heavy, my throat was dry, and the entire world seized in moments of stillness or perhaps it was my own vision which construed the world in that way; I took to the small hill which Billy had climbed and sat there and stared at the place between my feet to steady myself.
“Fire,” said Billy.
I nodded and nearly choked.
Leviathan—till then I had no belief in dragons—glided over the broken city, its winged shadow little seen but its voice was deep across the scene, letting go of roars which shook the ground. We hid among the trash wood and moved down the hill and watched the creature thrash in the air as if it was angry for its abominable life. Whatever millennia it spent in the pits of hell seemingly thrust upon it a love of destruction and pain.
My brother moved with a more assured stride and kept a cool distance and upon fleeing from the wreckage, from the outlying area of Atlanta and the place we’d left our family, he spoke little and watched me strangely whenever I took to melancholic fatiguing. We lit no fires for fear of what it could draw from the night so in the dark I’d see him watching some far-off place, maybe seeing through the reality which surrounded us, and he’d snap from it, catch my eye, and disappear for minutes to scan the perimeter of whatever place we stayed. Being alongside my resurrected brother was lonelier than I could bear, and I hoped he’d disappear for good or that I could work up the courage to end my own life. It was like purgatory explained in books and for a time, it felt endless; upon witnessing the destruction of Atlanta, we pushed to Marrietta, and it was much the same. As was Chatanooga, Nashville, Knoxville, Louisville, Charlotte. The ocean had risen so that Fayetville was gone underwater, and the Florida leg disappeared completely as far as I’m aware. I understood later that Memphis was overlooked and more places further west were alive too, but when we’d exhausted the south, we moved north and found strongholds of families or traders or even small groupings of civilization, but by and large we found nothing much in the two years that we hoofed it from place to place; it was my doing mostly—I wanted to find a place untouched by the mayhem in the area my family had once patrolled.
In retrospect, I am certain that Billy only stayed by my side for convenience; there wasn’t any of my brother left in the man that was my travelling companion for that time. He was a ghost of a person and Mephisto had preyed upon my desire in the worst moment of weakness in my life. There were nights—maybe we’d taken up in a natural alcove for shelter or we’d locked ourselves in some ancient structure for sleep—I’d watch Billy lay where he was, Sibylle’s hat and holster lying beside him, and I’d think of putting him down but he’d stir and in a brief shadow I’d see my brother as he’d been and withdraw to bury my face in fake sleep to be met with images of the night the demons attacked where I’d shake, sweat, and bite my lips so hard I’d drink blood.
Two years we marched around the Appalachians and in that time, I felt myself wither and disconnect.
Upon moving further north we met Indianapolis—that’s what it was called back then—and it was run by an older woman called Lady Lazarus; I reckon her father, affluent and dead, was a fan of Plath. Indianapolis was fortified more than most with its high walls, and its wall men, and its underground facilities which produced substantial ammunition. We—me and Billy’s revenant—were travelling with a group of traders we’d taken up with from out west; they called themselves wizards and although they seemed of the occult, their spirits discounted whatever suspicions I might’ve had of them.
I remember first pushing through that big gate; the town kept with it an indisputable malaise and though we were greeted at the gate by the leader Lady Lazarus—her brothers came along with her—and her jovial demeanor carried a certain infectious quality, I could not help but notice that the regular denizens maintained a healthy distance from their leader (the guards which followed the Lady everywhere probably had something to do with this).
Lady Lazarus touched each of our hands in greeting with enthusiasm and I could not help but notice how soft they were, how vibrant her eyes were, how much she smiled, and how beautiful she was given her age; already her head was fully gray.
Upon meeting each of us, going through the wizard traders first, she came to me, and Billy and she shook my hand then pivoted to Billy.
“Welcome. You can call me Lady.”
Billy caught her hand in his, held it longer than she’d intended so that they held eye contact, and he smiled broadly, tipped the cowboy hat on his head back to expose his smooth forehead and said, “And you can call me Maron, mam. You are quite a sight for a tired man.”
Though Maron—as he’d named himself—was more boy than man, Lady took a disturbed liking to him immediately and we prolonged our stay in Indianapolis after the wizards departed to head west.
Under the rule of Lady, Indianapolis was a theocracy, with her addressing the huddled masses at the steps of her grand abode, she’d preach for hours on sin and strife and quote her favorite passages; though reminiscent of my time with the Rednecks, I never found any truth or sincerity or freedom in her teaching—hers was more trouble, brimstone, fire and I’d had enough of that for a lifetime. Public execution was common. As was torture.
Maron distanced himself further from me, but I remained to keep an eye on him—it was not sentimentality but rather I existed without purpose and conjured some from watching my brother.
Often, Lady invited Maron to her private rooms and though the rumors and speculation ran the full spectrum of perverse speculation, every denizen feigned ignorance at her pregnancy.
Upon giving birth, the infant was malformed with two heads—her brothers took this as an omen and killed the child, put their leader in the stocks for months, and stripped her of dignity while the denizens did to her what they pleased.
Maron rose through the wall men while Lady’s brothers assumed control of Indianapolis and called themselves Bosses; in the time since Lady’s reign, the place was renamed to Golgotha for its closeness to a messiah.
I went west but always found myself drawn back to Golgotha because of some emptiness in me. It was only with Suzanne that I wanted something more and knowing them, I almost believed in a world like the one that children dream about. The world that Gemma and Andrew chased after when they left home, like the one Aggie talked about in her mother’s books. There’s a hopelessness in me that I’ll never be rid of. In the interim between our initial arrival to Golgotha and that flight from that terrible city, I cannot know how many people I sacrificed in convening with demons because I refuse to know because the number would destroy me. That is the worst of it; I do not even have courage enough to face myself or the actions of my past in any substantive way.
Mephisto tainted me so that I could speak with his kind as a dealmaker and the disease grew.
Billy or Maron or whatever he is should have been reaped long ago or better, I should never have brought that abomination alive. Such a cruel world where a deep longing like that can be inverted, weaponized. Me and him should both die; me and him should have died a long time ago.
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anti-corruption: former officials are accused of embezzling French aid and giving away territories to friends for pennies

REPORT: Fifteen years ago Yerevan's Vardavar Park [aka Lyon Park] was given to the associates of ex-regime MP Mher Sedrakyan at a price 20x below the market value, for 99 years. It was done with the help of MP Sedrakyan's relative Armen Harutyunyan, who served as the head of Yerevan's Erebuni district in 2009-2017; he is a defendant. The territory was allegedly given without an auction.
AUTHORITIES: In 2008, Yerevan municipality and the French city of Lyon signed a cooperation agreement. The French colleagues gave €95,000 to renovate the Vardavar Park. The city organized a tender to choose a company for the park's renovation. The defendant and a construction company signed an agreement. The company was given ֏16 million to launch the renovation. The renovation was underway. However, in the midst of the process, the defendant decided to lease out the park to an associate of MP Mher Sedrakyan for a period of 99 years, under the made-up pretense that the community didn't have funds to renovate it.
Moreover, under the land code, it was prohibited to sell or lease out that territory. The lease was signed without an auction. The park was given away for only ֏615,000/year ($1,500/yr), when the real value was ֏12.5 million/yr.
As for the remaining portion of the €95,000 French aid, it is unclear where that money went because Yerevan municipality did not preserve the documents.
The same defendant was also a subject in a separate asset forfeiture case. He agreed to surrender assets including a house, a car, and ֏29 million. //
video,

PM Pashinyan discussed the removal of Russian border and military posts during the Moscow trip

The Russian posts deployed during and after the 2020 war on the AM-AZ border will be removed. They were installed at the request of Armenia but since the AM-AZ border is more stable now and there is a delimitation process, they are no longer needed.
Russian agents will also leave Yerevan's international airport [by August, as reported earlier]. The removal was confirmed "at the highest level" during the Pashinyan-Putin meeting on Wednesday, said a ranking member of Armenia's ruling party QP.
Armenia did not request for the removal of the main Russian posts located on the borders with Turkey and Iran, which were deployed shortly after Armenia's independence from the USSR.
source, source, source, source,

the former regime concludes the Tavush-Yerevan march with an anti-Pashinyan rally in Yerevan's main square: VIDEO

The opposition churchman Bagrat Galstanyan, the co-organizer of the rally, said he is willing to meet and discuss the terms for Pashinyan's resignation. He gave Pashinyan 1 hour to resign. "You no longer have any form of power in Armenia. With your resignation, you will return the [victory] to the Armenian people."
Galstanyan listed the goal:
(1) Parliament must hold a vote of no confidence to oust Pashinyan. He met several opposition MPs to organize the process. "We will find a path."
(2) They will hold 2021-2022 style acts of disobedience and road closures.
(3) Galstanyan wants these protests to last 7-10 days so he urged the attendees, who looked largely unenthusiastic with only a few hundred responding to Bagrat's chants, not to lose interest and to show up tomorrow as well. There were ~31,700 people by some estimates. In 2021-2022 there were around 35,000 rallygoers if we don't count Robert Kocharyan's final rally that was held in the Republic Square days before the 2021 election day.
(4) Galstanyan plans to spend the night in Republic Square and meet the protesters tomorrow morning.
Notable parties and figures who joined or endorsed the ARF/Church rally: ARF's local and international structures, Serj's HHK leadership and its "youth wing", Kocharyan's "Armenia" faction MPs, the Union of Armenians in Russia led by pro-Kremlin Ara Abrahamyan, Russian-Armenian billionaire Ruben Vardanyan's Aprelu Yerkir party, the Hayaqve, Kocharyan's friend Vitaliy Balasanyan and other politicians from Nagorno-Karabakh, ex-Ombudsman Arman Tatoyan who recently participated in a forum organized by the ex-regime, an aspiring revolutionary Vazgen Manukyan, Paruyr Hayrikyan, the leadership of radical group BEVER, several MPs representing the pro-Russian opposition factions in the parliament, Mihran Poghosyan (suspected of narcotrafficking, hiding in Russia), Serj's son, Naira Zohrabyan, singers Shprot, Andre, Sofi Mkheyan, Mger Armenia, and others.
A drunk driver of a truck was arrested after attempting to drive through the square full of people. He drove towards the police officers and over the sidewalks before reaching the square. No reports of injury.
Authorities launched a criminal investigation after the protesters allegedly destroyed a journalist's camera.
The newspaper owned by PM Pashinyan's family writes that the ruling party knew in advance about Bagrat's intentions [until the last moment the organizers were claiming the march wasn't about ousting Pashinyan]. The newspaper writes that the police has been instructed to give a "firm response" if there are riots. The protest is in front of the government building. There were no reports of riots or clashes with the police. The archbishop urged the participants not to engage in violence.
The crowd began to leave in the late evening. Some of them expressed disappointment about the rally launching 2 hours late and about a lack of a specific plan by the organizers. They were asked to "paralyze the country" starting tomorrow at 10 am.
In the meantime, the opposition parties will try to organize a vote of no confidence to oust Pashinyan. They need 36 votes to advance it. They currently have 35 members but one independent MP used to be their member so they might have the number. Once the motion advances, the parliament holds a vote within 2-3 days. The PM is ousted if at least 54 of the 107 MPs vote in favor.

... the anti-former regime figures respond to the rally

ARMAN BABAJANYAN: It is necessary to carry out internal reforms in the Church to allow it to become more flexible, to allow it to function without being an attachment of the oligarchy, so it can function as an independent structure. This process has one goal: to prevent the peaceful delimitation of borders and cause a war. War is their only option for returning to power. They will feel relieved, hidden behind the archbishops, when the bombs begin to fall on Yerevan. //
A video was circulated about protesters discussing the possibility of bringing weapons to the rally. Authorities arrested two individuals in the video.
DANIEL IOANNESIAN: The police must ensure that the protest is peaceful and there are no people with weapons. The use of force against peaceful protesters is illegal, but it is justified against violent ones.
RULING PARTY SECRETARY: An agreement was reached in Moscow to withdraw Russian border guards from Yerevan's Zvartnots Airport. I hope this news won't sadden the organizers of the rally too much.
RULING MP ALEXANYAN: The former regime is just rotating the leaders of its movement. In 2022 the same Archbishop Bagrat Galstanyan was a guest speaker during Kocharyan's "Zartnir Lao" protests. Today he is the face. They just rotate the frontman.
RULING MP TOROSYAN: We thank Archbishop Bagrat for joining our anti-smoking campaign by urging his followers in Republic Square not to smoke. [does Torosyan win the prize for the most civil response?]
source, source, video, source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source,

everything is going according to the plan

March: ARF Ishkhan Saghatelyan "returns" after a hiatus.
March 29 news digest headline: "It's spring. My boy ARF Ishkhan Saghatelyan is officially back to mark the opening of a new revolution season."
May 9 rally: https://imgur.com/9fOPSTb
May 10-17: Traffic jams in Yerevan.
May 18: Nikol hides in the U.S. embassy.
May 19: Nikol is evacuated from the U.S. embassy with a helicopter and flown to Georgia where he is arrested by the pro-Russian government.
May 20: Jirayr Sefilian invites 15,000 Wagnerites to guard Bagrat Srbazan, the ruler of the newly revived Bagratuni Dynasty.

non-parliamentary pro-West forces and the ruling party took part in an event dedicated to AM-EU relations and CEPA

REPORTER: Are you satisfied with the government's policies and do you believe they are taking us to Euro-integration?
ARAM SARGSYAN (ex-PM): Yes, Armenia is headed to Euro-integration. The government is doing it slowly out of caution because of regional issues. I'm a supporter of a faster integration because that would improve our safety, not harm it.
REPORTER: Pashinyan and Putin discussed the withdrawal of Russian troops from the AM-AZ border. Why now?
ARAM SARGSYAN: It's within the framework of taking Armenia to the EU. I congratulate the Armenian public on the gradual withdrawal of Russia from our region after hundreds of years. Russia will eventually withdraw fully because they are not USSR and they don't have the power to forcefully stay. Russia must stick to its own business and attempt to become a European state itself. That will help them develop but that's up to the Russian people to decide. We welcome the withdrawal of foreign forces from the AM-AZ border. I hope they will leave the AM-IR border soon, and later from the AM-TR border. [that order is oddly specific and interesting]
REPORTER: What's your opinion on the opposition rally and demands for Pashinyan's resignation?
ARAM SARGSYAN: This process has a participant located outside Armenia. In Armenia, Pashinyan's disapproval rating is about 20% lower than Russia's, which is why Russia wanted to find a figure to rally the anti-Pashinyan population without triggering an association with Russia. Sadly they found that figure in the church. People [oppsoiton politicians] who never believed in God and never valued the church are exploiting the church today.
Robert Kocharyan first revealed the idea of using the church during the 2022 protests. But Russia has miscalculated because the same ex-regime politicians will show up to Archbishop's rallies and expose Russia's involvement.
Sasna Tsrer (Bever) has joined the protests. Will they stand on that stage and declare that Russia is an axis of evil? Figures from Bright Armenia [Edmon Marutyan's party] have also joined; will they stand on that stage and declare that Armenia must adopt a European model? The forces that gathered there do not have a common agenda for Armenia's future. If they want "answers" from the government about the Tavush delimitation, then those answers have been given to them on numerous occasions. This is not about Tavush. This is about geopolitics and control over a Meghri corridor.
source, source,

Armenia's Economy Minister departs for the U.S. to take part in the "Americas Competitiveness Exchange" program

In March the Armenian government and U.S. Ambassador Kvien discussed Armenia's economic diversification and the possibility of hosting the Americans Competitiveness Exchange in Armenia.
source, source,

Turkish President Erdogan wants Armenia and Azerbaijan to sign a peace agreement as soon as possible

Erdogan met Azerbaijan's Prime Minister Asadov.
TURKISH PRESS: Hoping for a positive outcome from the meeting to be held in Almaty on May 10 between FMs Mirzoyan and Bayramov, President Erdogan stated that the progress made in the peace process between Armenia and Azerbaijan is sufficient and that the peace agreement should be signed as soon as possible in order for the region to achieve the stability it seeks. //
Erdogan said Turkey and Azerbaijan will maintain close cooperation to prevent a growing "biased" Western influence in the region.
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California governor has been invited to visit Armenia

Armenian President Khachaturyan is on a working trip to California where he met the local Armenian community, Silicone Valley figures, and the Governor of California Gavin Newsom.
Khachaturyan emphasized that the multi-sectoral cooperation with the US, and in particular with the state of California, is of special importance for Armenia.
They discussed high-tech, democratic institutions, and regional and global developments.
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0 years ago today, representatives of Allied and Axis powers met in Yerevan to discuss the future of Europe: VIDEO

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government wants to boost the domestic pharmaceutical industry by subsidizing clinical trials & registrations

Up to 50% or ֏25 million in subsidies to conduct a clinical trial, another 50% to cover the cost of undergoing a certification test, and other subsidies to register Armenian products in foreign markets.
This is part of a 5-year strategy adopted last year to promote the domestic pharmaceutical industry. It was adopted after learning lessons from the COVID-era shortages.
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update: Russia's Gazprom begins selling assets after recording the first loss in 25 years and reportedly the largest ever ($6.9 billion)

Context in May 3 news. They are looking for buyers for several large buildings and parking lots in Moscow and Moscow Oblast.
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government lowers the height and weight requirements to allow more women to join the new Patrol Police, at the request of the Ombudsman

60% of female applicants didn't meet the 160 cm and 58 kg (or 50?) requirements so they were lowered to 155/47. Some of the applicants have re-applied.
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Dearest all kinds of performing dancers out there, I have a question for you…
How delululu am I to be inspired to dance with a performing contemporary dance company after 2+ decades of not really dancing?
By performing, I dont mean ABT ofc, but to join a local movement expression company…
I support “you can do anything” vibes but give me some tough-love here…
How delululu am I?
And if there is a possibility, what is a good weekly practice session cadence where I’ll see technical progress?
Here is some background…. This is a tender topic for me as I used to dance (rigorously) when I was young and I absolutely loved it. I was and still am significantly flexible, good extension, elevation etc and performed on stage, on music videos (!), tv shows with my youth company multiple times.
I danced classical ballet between age 4-12, RQF Level 2-3, beginner pointe. UK, Russian Classical, US have different standards, I was beginner pointe when I left and was dancing multiple styles, mainly classical ballet. Not a bunch of contemporary tho…
I had a path to go pro-dancer but my parents didn’t approve it thinking I’d have a financially miserable life in the country I was born (Turkey), so I left dance school and perused a math/science career. I am grateful but always felt like a bird whose wing was cut off…
Now, years later, I have the freedom and opportunity to pursue whatever I want… I am currently a yoga and classical pilates teacher. I teach 6-8 classes a week and practice 8-10 times a week including ashtanga yoga, functional weight training, taking 2-3 contemporary dance classes a week.
Teaching yoga and creative sequencing has been fulfilling but not at all same as dancing…
While I am strong and have good mobility and flexibility, I don’t think I am progressing or learning technique AT ALL with 2-3 times/week adult contemporary dance classes.
What is your advice? youtube? online?
In any case, enjoying the process…
Thank you, thank you and may your delululus come trululu y’all

This will be more of a vent than anything but I'll structure it so it's easy to understand.
For this to make any sense i have to give context.
i am a 20 year old man.
I was molested as a child. But i was undeniably beautiful. Despite the constant homelessness, and the overt lack of nice clothes, or haircuts, the dark skin color, the unkept hair, i walked through life as a beautiful child and never even knew it. Privileges and patience was awarded to me without me ever earning them. This, coupled with being the top of my class, winning spelling bees, and always being seen as bright left me always feeling good about myself, and feeling like a special class of human.
Even though objectively terrible things would happen to me over and over again, i never felt beaten down, i never felt oppressed. I could always smile and just think about some childish thing like sonic, even when my dad got shot right in front of my home, or we lost the house and had to sleep in a hotel/casomeone else's home. I could feel good about myself.
I never cared about what God had to say. I would do and consume objectively evil things simply because i could. The rules didn't apply to me and i was smart enough to not get caught. i knew that i could get almost anyone to do almost anything because of my privilege's.
At around 13 years old i repented and attempted to change my ways. It was a long and arduous battle of dealing with the consequences of doing objectively terrible things. I had the "I'm young" excuse, but there was no real protection from consequences. After years of mental illness, failed suicide attempts, repentance, reconciliation, and atonement, i finally was able to live without guilt.
And just as i could finally feel good about myself, my body began to suddenly degrade rapidly. My blood pressure rapidly increased, I can feel the strain on my heart, my hair began to fall out, my penis got smaller and wasn't able to produce a full erection, and among other things my testosterone production decreased drastically.
I'm trying desperately to recover any semblance of previous beauty, but it doesn't seem to be working. Aside from the obvious of how it makes me feel, I've also rapidly lost any of privilege i had.
Suddenly no girls of any quality want me at all. People seem to frown or grimace anytime they see me. My smile makes them frown harder. Tinder is of course ego destroying. And as time goes on, even using my older photos gets me nothing. My family treats me worse and their smiles leave quicker, i can't seem to make any friends anywhere, it's like there's a barrier between me and all other humans. It's like as soon as anyone sees me they hate me.
I didn't have a lot of friends before, but now i have none.
I'm going to head to turkey for a couple of surgeries, among a few: "hair transplant, buccal fat removal, cheekbone implants, zygo implants, and a couple others"
My father says I'm putting my beauty above the Lord, but he doesn't seem to understand that nobody anywhere cares what i have to say unless i look good. I have no prospects for a happy life unless i do this.
It's my belief the Lord understands and wants me to be beautiful. I've been alone for years now. I can't imagine living the rest of my youth as this unloved THING, when I know what it's like to be treated well.