I’m 5’10” and a senior in highschool. If I had to guess I’d say I probably have a 10’2” approach reach (I can confidently grab basketball rims). I think I still have just a hair of growing left in me, as my brother was the same height at 18 and is now 6’. I dont have any club experience, but I’ve been going to rec centers multiple times a week for about 7 months. I’ve gone from barely being able to hit the ball to confidently being a solid hitter at the rec centers I go to. I’ve been told I play like I’ve had 1-2 years of club experience without ever being coached. With solid coaching I think I can get significantly better. Additionally, I’ve gone to the gym since I started highschool but trained for hypertrophy, I would definitely consider changing up my training regiment to be for athleticism. I just want some advice on wether I should really pursue playing this sport in college or just play as a hobby. I want to make it D2 at some point in the next 2 years as an outside hitter but I would be happy as a setter. I’d consider playing opposite, but Lib/DS are out of the question. Should I devote my time, effort, and money into this sport?

Dianne Young, casting director, is a guest host.

During season 1, the initial order was for 12 episodes. No one thought they would actually make it to 12 episodes.

David Gail interview:

He is joining from France.
He thinks his bellhop role is in season 2. When corrected that it’s season 1, he says “excuse-moi” (in his French accent).
Young cast him because he was nice and easy on the set.
His son is also on the video. His son’s name is Gautier. His son makes a bunch of funny faces and hand signs throughout the interview.
His agent would tell him you don’t need to meet the casting director, for auditions in general. Gail wanted to meet them anyways, because he wanted to meet as many people as possible.
The original season 1 pilot was 2 hours. Rosin passed. It was eventually trimmed to 90 minutes, and about 30 minutes of music videos were cut. Aaron Spelling then wanted to meet him, after the pilot was trimmed. Rosin took the meeting.
Aaron Spelling did not want to have a season in college. There was a lot of anxiety about the format changing after high school.
The first two to three episodes of Melrose Place got a higher rating than Beverly Hills, 90210. They convinced the president of FOX, Lucie Salhany,
Gautier has now taken out a puppet. The entire podcast starts laughing, except for Gail, who doesn’t know what’s happening behind him.
Rosin then promises FOX that they’re going to have Brenda elope, and that will be the number 1 show that week.
There was a lot of pressure at this time.
Young kept waiting for more details about the elopement plot line to emerge.
No one knew that Doherty was going to be leaving at the end of the season.
Gail was unaware about any issues Doherty might have been having with the management company.
Gail had no idea how big this plot was going to be.
Aaron Spelling gave Gail a kiss and hug after his audition.
Young does not remember other people that auditioned for this role.
Mollin says Paul Waigner and Jessica Klein also had a big part in casting Gail.
Rosin says sometimes during auditions, people talk their way out of a role. They get nervous and talk too much.
Rosin tells a story of how he once met an actor. Rosin told him he liked this movie he was in. The actor then spent 5 minutes telling Rosin why the movie sucked. This was an example of an actor talking his way out of a future role.
When Gail came in season 1, he read for a recurring role. They didn’t want him because he was too green. They then offered him the bellhop role.
During season 4, when Gail was offered the role of Stuart, he asked how they could bring him back as a different character.
Rosin said at the time, he didn’t think people were watching the show that closely. He didn’t know that there would be dedicated fans like there are today.
Rosin and Young wanted Gail because everyone had liked Gail from before. Young says she had known him from before, and trusted him.
Young had reminded Rosin of what Gail had done before, in season 1.
When Gail went into the Spelling office for this season 4 audition, and saw all of the producers lined up, he was intimidated. Gail had to use psychological tricks like telling himself to breathe. Don’t start when they start, but start when you want to start. Wait until you are in that character.
Gail cannot walk into an audition and just start being in character. He has to be David Gail first. Meaning he has to say hi to everyone as David Gail first. Then he can get in character.
Rosin says one of Aaron Spelling’s biggest strengths was casting.
The first time Rosin heard Aaron Spelling say that his strength was casting, Rosin thought that was BS. But, overtime, Rosin agreed that Aaron Spelling was that good.
Aaron Spelling knew Julia Roberts was going to be a star, when he saw her in Mystic Pizza.
David Gail’s son somehow appears on screen, upside down, from the top of the camera. Gail has to shoo his son away again.
During season 2, Doherty had a boyfriend in Chicago named Chris Lupus. He was wealthy. So Rosin created a character that reminded him of that boyfriend, in Stuart.
Gail says the plot was fun.
Gail likes how Stuart was spoiled and possibly dealing drugs. He said it’s more fun to play a character like that.
Both actors that played Stuart’s parents (Peter Mark Richman, Claudette Nevins) have passed away.
Mollin likes the dynamic of how Stuart’s dad thought Stuart was a loser, and Brenda was making him a winner.
Gino Conforti, from Three’s Company, was the mechanic in “Strangers In The Night”.
Both Richman and Conforti were on Three’s Company.

Jessica Klein created Jesse Vasquez. That was the name of her college boyfriend.
Young went through a lot of resumes with pictures for this character. She had put Mark Damon Espinoza aside. After a few days, she kept going back to his picture. He didn’t have a lot of credits. She wanted to meet him.
He was so easy to talk to. He was friendly. He was from Texas.
He had a good theater background.
Mollin didn’t like the casting at first. He’s grown to love Espinoza. Mollin says the character worked.
Mollin: A baby is a show killer.
Young: All of the cast has an opportunity to give input on casting. Carteris didn’t say things about whether a potential picture on a resume was terrific.
Rosin and Mollin now think Espinoza was pitch perfect in all of his scenes. Even the ones with Ian Ziering in season 5.
Rosin: He’s a good friend of this podcast.

As soon as Young saw Kathleen Robertson, Young knew she had to pay close attention.
She was easy to work with. She wasn’t nervous.
Robertson had a unique hat. Mollin and Rosin noticed it. They used that same hat in her character’s intro scene.
Lou Patrick negotiated Robertson’s contract. (A woman).
Aaron Spelling had accidentally sent out a cast renewal to Shannen Doherty. Lou Patrick saw that and alerted Rosin. It had already been decided by this point that Doherty wasn’t coming back. They were able to stop that from getting to Doherty.
Young had hired Nicholas Pryor before on another show. He was professional.
Young: Christine Belford (Samantha Sanders), Pryor’s wife, was a good actress.
Kelly McDonald, Young’s assistant, met with actors for D’Shawn Hardell. She was the one that recommended Cress Williams to Young. He was very new.
Rosin and Mollin liked him.
Unlike Tico Wells from season 1 (whom Rosin beat in basketball), Cress Williams could not play basketball.
Young had known Dina Meyer (Lucinda) from before. She had always liked Meyer.
There wasn’t an audition. Tony Shepherd just told Rosin that Dina Meyer would play the part.
Barry Bonds and Dina Meyer are the only actors that Tony Shepherd told Rosin who to pick. There wasn’t an audition.
Young loved Scott Paulin (Professor Randall). She had known his credits.
Young doesn’t remember too much from Tracy Middendorf’s (Laura Kingman) audition.
Young: Noley Thornton (Erica) was wonderful. She had seen her from “The Martin Short Show”.
They had to make a lot of arrangements to get her from one set to another, because she was on both shows. But child actors have some limitations.
One time, they were praying Thornton would be able to make it, because The Martin Short Show was running long.
Kerrie Keane (Suzanne) didn’t know that there was going to be a scam.
When Jessica Klein pitched the scam story to Aaron Spelling, Spelling thought the audience would know right away. He didn’t think the scam would work. Rosin had to promise that no one would see it coming, by the end.
Rosin likes how he can talk to actors that come on the podcast now, because he was never able to do it when the show was being made. Jason Carter (Roy Randolph) is one such example.
Young says there were a lot of British actors, at the time, because there was a lot of work in Los Angeles. And they were paid more here, then in British Television.
Young had met Paul Johannson (John Sears) before.
He was one of Jason Priestley’s friends.
David Sherrill (Jack Canner) was another one of Priestley’s friends.
Young would tell Priestley why one of his friends would or would not get the role.
Young loves Brook Theiss (Leslie Sumner). She had met Theiss on Growing Pains, and Just The Ten Of Us. She was such a joh to be around. Young also introduced Theiss’ husband to her.
Young likes Theiss so much, that she would cast her for something right now if she could.
Young does not remember Kari Wuhrer (Ariel Hunter).
Young remembers Matthew Perreta (Dan Rubin) a little.
Young does not remember the Minnesota girls.
Young loves Jed Allen (Rush Sanders). His acting was similar to Ian Ziering’s. She saw it right away that he was Steve Sander’s dad.
Ryan Thomas Brown (Muntz) was easy to work with.
Young had known Zachary Throne (Howard) from before.

2nd Year college student here, apart from the known Basketball and Volleyball teams. What are other sports in Benilde that you can join?

16th May 2024
12:31 PM
Idk what's happening I am stuck in my own thoughts I think whole day what will happen I am in 12th and few months remain before I pass out and leave my school forever the only good thing in my life is my school and I think I will not able to survive even 1 day without my school . My future is totally in dark I am a PCM student I know nothing I know I will score very bad in jee because my prep is the worst. I regret everything because neither did I had all the fun instead of studying neither did I study well. I am just an oxygen taking organism who just passing time on this earth and waiting to die one day. Idk how will live without my school friends even a day. without playing basketball with my friends I can't think off. I know that I will score poorly in jee.then I will get the worst college possible then after 4 years of bad experience I will gain anything and my life will be all blank just blank. I hate it every decision I took I just Hate it. Why GOD Why if u are reading this pls put yourself in my place and think how lifeless I am . I know 2 kinds of people, one who have everything and enjoy those things other are ones who have nothing and they can't use those things because they don't have it.But I am not one of these 2 I am the one who has everything but can't use/enjoy with those things. its like I have the most comfortable bed in front of me yet I have to sleep on floor. It's like I have and I phone but I have to use that Nokia key pad phone. I have a car but still have to go to every place by walking . I hate everything except my school and soon when I will loose my school ,my life would be lifeless. MY life would be in coma others will see that he is alive but from inside I will be dead .

So I graduated in 2023 from a majority white area in upper-middle-class suburbia GA. Everyone around here acts super high class and is tight strung and rich and stuck up. I’m mixed and adopted so I know that I’m spoiled and that I have way more than I deserve. I graduated with honors from high school and began attending a little women’s college on a half academic, half athletic scholarship. I studied nursing and psychology (a double major)
First semester starts and I’m doing great. Around midterms is when everything went downhill. Because it was the beginning of basketball season, I was struggling to juggle both school and grades, and I was out partying a lot more than I should’ve been (though granted, i’m in COLLEGE, but i was kinda sheltered at home and took advantage of the freedom). I ended up tanking most of my midterms and not being able to play basketball for the rest of the semester. I failed 2 classes and was put on ‘academic probation’ by the school. It doesn’t go on your record or anything, it’s just so the school can kick you out before you mess up their stats. Second semester goes by in a flash and I’m doing decently, but I end up having to drop a class and take another online. My grandpa died unexpectedly right before midterms and I tanked my only 2. I go into a depression deeper than I have in a minute and fail both my classes.
The school year ended and now i’m home, and the other day I got an email explaining my probationary period has ended and because I failed to keep my GPA above a 3.0 I’ve lost my scholarship and have been put on academic suspension. I appealed to it by sending an email and explaining my situation and failure to pass my classes, but i won’t get an answer back til the end of the month.
I hated that school anyways and want to go to a technical school to be an EMT, but i did enjoy my time there and will miss my friends.
my family can pay for me to go to a technical or community college so i can get my prerequisite classes done, but my sister is graduating in may and is attending my college in the fall. my mom thinks we’ll be going there together.
i don’t know how to tell them how ive failed. i wish i could go back and tell myself, “hey. just get up for class. this ONE TIME.” or forced myself to study harder. i know i did the best i could at the time, but it still is a horrible feeling to see myself turn into this after i’ve done better in the past.
TL;DR : i failed majority of my classes and lost a ton of scholarship money by getting suspended for bad grades.
my mom thinks i’m going back next semester with my sister and i haven’t told her yet that i’ve disappointed her.

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Day 45 of qotsa March Madness! Yesterday's matchup had Tangled Up In Plaid, coming out on top. Today's matchup is Sick, Sick, Sick vs You Can't Quit Me Baby. Like always, if y'all don't know the rules, read the background below!
Background:
Hey guys! As it is March, in the College Basketball world, it is March Madness, and as a Basketball fanatic and a qotsa fanatic, I thought that bringing the two together for the subreddit would be a fun time to pass the time before the band embarks on the Canada/NA Leg! For the 64 songs in the bracket, I took (for the most part) the top 64 most streamed songs on Spotify. Then I did a random generator, generating each seeding. That's why you may see that some of your favorites that didn't make it unfortunately. Every day when the polls expire, I will upload the next matchup. I will have all the brackets linked in each post updated with the scores. May the best song win!
Block A
Block B
Block C
Block D
View Poll

im planning on getting into playing pickup basketball a lot when i go to college bc the school im going to has a large rec center. i don’t know if this matters but i enjoy watching basketball i just dont play it a lot bc it isn’t popular in my area. im also 5’6 so i would probably be playing guard i think? please let me know if you have any recs! sorry if this is such a mess idrk what all to ask amd/or say lol

My (24F) mother passed away six years ago when I was 18. She left my father (53M) a widower and my two younger siblings, my brother Jason (11M) and sister Rachel (14F), motherless. Since they were both still young kids when she passed, I had to step up. I stayed at home and went to college at a commuter school so I could be there for them, and also admittedly to save money. This was one hundred percent my choice. Since then, I've pretty much taken on a mother role in their lives. I go to their school plays, and in the case of my sister, her soccer and basketball games. I take them to appointments, movies, etc. My father works like 60-80 hour weeks as a manager at a construction company, and he does what I do when he can. But since he is constantly working, it mostly falls on me. I'm fine with this; I love my siblings to death, and since I've helped raise them, I kind of consider them to be my kids.
My devotion to my siblings has caused relationship problems before. I've been told dating me is like dating a single mom. I've made it clear to any people I'm considering dating long term that my siblings will always be important to me. For example, I've said that I would be willing to move no more than a thirty-minute drive from my hometown. My refusal to move was the reason my last long-term relationship ended with a guy I was dating. Soon after that, I began dating my current girlfriend, Teresa (22F). We get along great. She is child-free, which is fine with me. She doesn't mind my siblings, though she has mentioned a couple of times that she thinks my devotion to them is a little odd.
Recently, my father had a health scare; he thought he was having a heart attack when really it was just heartburn. This led to a discussion between me and my girlfriend on what I would do if my father did pass away. He is 54 years old, and also heart disease runs in our family. My paternal grandfather died at 48 from a heart attack. So the chances of him dying aren't zero, especially with how stressful his job is. She asked me what I would do if he died. I said I would take my siblings in. She asked me even if she didn't want me to. And I said yes. She then said, “So you would choose them over me?” I tried to say that I wouldn't expect her to help me raise them, and she was free to leave me, no hard feelings if that happened, but I could tell she was mad. She then started saying she didn't like how I was constantly going to do stuff with my siblings like going to their games or taking them to the movies. I said that she was welcome to join me, and besides, I still manage to find time for us to go on at least one date every week. And we usually spend every Sunday together too. I pointed out that she also goes partying and clubbing with her friends pretty frequently , and I never tried to stop her. She was pretty mad and left our apartment to spend the night at her mom's. I don't think I did anything wrong. I was upfront with my GF and all the other people I dated that my siblings would always be important. So AITAH?

In March of 2016, Chazz Lindsey (or as his mother calls him in her Facebook posts telling people not to judge him “Chazzle Dazzle”), Brock Finkbiner, and Josiah Wallace, who all went to high school in Marshall, Illinois, tortured and murdered multiple cats, while one of their girlfriends filmed it as they laughed. (You can search up this case.) This included setting them on fire, dismembering them, and all sorts of heinous acts on these defenseless, confused, and scared little cats.
Chazz Lindsey faced 2 weeks of jail time, the boys who were still in high school served ZERO jail time. they didn’t even get suspended from their basketball team. The whole community rallied in defense of them and their character. And our principal (of a surrounding town) even told us to not bully them in the rowdy section when we played them at home so as to not hurt their feelings. Because it was inappropriate.
I feel like everyone’s forgotten about this and they just got to graduate as the studs of their school and nobody even cared. Now they’re all off happily continuing their lives, going to college and getting married as if this was just some fun drunken memory from high school. I don’t want them to ever forget what they did to these cats, who could’ve gotten taken into a loving home..or maybe were already a part of someone’s home…just imagine if it were your cat. I want this to follow them for the rest of their life. I want everyone to know what they did.

Stretches to align the Peroneus brevis ligament/tendon
I (28M) have rolled both ankles on and off for the last 12 years. Started with one bad roll playing basketball in college and switched back and forth between ankles ever since. I'll roll my ankle walking, getting out of a golf cart, basically if I do anything without putting some attention to where my foot is going, they may roll. I joke that I have elastic ankles bc I'll roll it bad enough to have to either jump to catch myself from falling or knee to the ground, but the pain only lasts a few hours and I get back to even fairly quickly...
That said, within the last 2 months I've been experiencing a different pain that can be unbearable at times. I sit at a desk for work and apparently have an issue with crossing my feet while sitting. So that one ankle sits on the other. Anyway, after sitting for a bit I'll try to stand up or even just dorsey flex my feet bc they are feeling stiff, and I get a tremendous pain in the left outside part of the high ankle (L). I cannot walk and can barely even stand. I try to massage the ankle and stretch it out, but I have no idea what I'm doing and nothing is helping the pain. After enough time I do something with my foot whether it be shaking it or re-crossing the ankles to try to nix whatever I did, and the pain will just magically disappear with no residual pain or symptoms. It's astonishing.
I did some research at the online doctors office and believe it to be something related to the Peroneus brevis tendon or ligament. It says that sitting down can cause the ligament to "slip" from it's position. I don't know what to do to treat it other than going to a Ortho or PT, which I figure will either lead to surgery or recommended workouts. I'd rather do workouts on my own to strengthen the surrounding muscles. But in the meantime I would like some recommendations as to different potential stretches, massages, or cheat codes to re-align the ligament when it slips out of place. Much appreciated.

I, (18F) moved in with my boyfriend (19M) a couple of months after I turned 18, and my parents were furious and hurt. There’s a lot to unpack with this one, so bear with me.
My parents (40F and 42M) are very religious and were somewhat strict while I was growing up. I have two younger brothers, one 17 and one 8 (this will be important later). For context, my father is a pastor at a local church and my parent’s religious beliefs are the reasoning behind most if not all of their actions. Growing up, I was never a stereotypical girl. I didn’t have many female friends and was usually not accepted in groups with guys as I was a girl and we were kids. I was extroverted as a child but due to being repeatedly rejected by kids my age, I became more introverted. I was a major nerd who loved superheroes and I wanted to play sports. Again, for context, the town I grew up in was very conservative and my parents are very conservative themselves. Girls liked girl things- even if they claimed that’s not how they felt, it’s how they acted. However, as a kid, I did not realize this. I played soccer and basketball growing up, regardless of how “weird” it made me because I didn’t think there was anything wrong with it. I was probably around 9 or 10 at this point. It was around this time my parents started having issues with my hobbies. I remember my parents trying to convince me to be a cheerleader because I would “like it more,” but I insisted on playing basketball. (This basketball/cheer program was through our church by the way). Because I was still young, they let it slide, but to this day I remember them being annoyed with it. This is also around the time dieting was introduced to me as well as calorie counting. I have always struggled with my weight and so has my mother, so they were very adamant on making sure I was being “healthy.” I didn’t understand it, but as a child, the only thing I was worried about was making my parents happy. A lot of discipline I received revolved around emotion. What I was doing was right or wrong and if I did something wrong, I felt terrible and awful and would often come crying to my parents about the mistakes I made, fearful of their disappointment and anger if they found things out themselves. They also made everything a moral dilemma- everything was about God and religion and as a kid, it really messed with my head. I would blame myself for everything that went wrong, seeing it as God’s punishment for my behavior. When I was 9, I went so far as to blame my grandmother’s death on myself because I was hanging out with boys instead of girls. This made me to be more of an introvert and my now anxiety disorder is much much worse.
About a year later, my parents sat down with me and my brother and told us they wanted to adopt. At first, I was very excited. I loved the idea of having another brother or sister. And I wouldn’t trade my 8 year old brother (let’s call him Scott) for anything, but adopting kids is part of what triggered a huge change in my parent’s behavior. Also- I had started getting older. I loved playing video games, watching cartoons and writing. However, these weren’t the things they wanted me to like I guess, because I started to feel their judgment become more clear and apparent as I got older. Now, I assume this is because as a kid, I just did what I was told, or my oddities were assumed to fade over time, but that is not the case anymore. Anyways, entering middle school, our family fostered a little girl, let’s call her Ally. A young woman in our church had told us that Ally’s family was out of the picture, and as her aunt, she couldn’t take her in as she was already a single mom and planned on adopting her brother, but couldn’t handle all three alone. So my family stepped in- however, we had come to find that her father was still in the picture and was actively fighting for custody. And Ally was a bit of a handful. My parents have admitted that they expected to swoop in, save a child from a hard life and be the heroes, and when things were harder than that they were very upset. Ally was about three- she remembered her mom (who was in jail i believe), her sisters, her grandma and grandpa, as well as her dad. She didn’t want our family, she wanted hers. She didn’t listen to my parents and rejected their parenting. This is what started to make my parents snap. I understand it was hard for them, but now that I’m older, I get it. She was a little girl who wanted her family. But they took her rejection very seriously and were constantly unhappy with her and made sure she knew it. Children not listening immediately was newer to them as my brother and I both did pretty much whatever they asked, and they did not take well to being told “no” by a child. 8 months after living with Ally, she was taken in by her grandparents to live with them and her sisters. The next day, my parents took my brother and I on a small trip. I’m not sure if it was to cheer us up or to celebrate. I was quite sad though- I had started to really care about Ally and had convinced myself that “God would take care of things” and I would have a sister. But I was angry- God took someone away from me and I was doing everything right. Why was he punishing me? Nothing made sense. Yet, only a year later, my parents were considering taking in another child. I wanted nothing to do with it- God had already taken one sibling away from me. I couldn’t do it again. In the end, I agreed and soon became attached to this little boy, who was two when we met him. This was Scott. I immediately became attached- and I love this kid more than I can describe- he’s my little brother and I would do anything for him.
This is where things start to go further downhill. Scott has a lot of trauma and mental issues, one of those issues being oppositional defiant disorder. That basically means that listening to any form of authority is near impossible for him, and causes him to lash out and act younger than he is. This is probably due to a number of reasons, as he was severely neglected and abused as an infant and his birth mother was on several different substances while pregnant with him, to the point where he was born high on several illegal drugs. He was left in a car seat for most of his infant life, so the back of his head is slightly flattened due to this. My parents are very obedient/disciplined-based parents, so his behavior rocked their world. In my opinion, the way they handled things with Scott was borderline abusive. There were several occasions where he would say he hated them (as young children do when they're mad) and they would flip. Telling him that if he didn’t want them that was fine. They didn’t need him. He could run back to his other parents, but his mom was in jail and his dad didn’t want him, so good luck with that. If we were in the car when this happened, they would threaten to leave him on the side of the road and good luck finding his way home. Once my mother literally pulled to the side of the road, placed him outside the car and started driving so he would “think they would leave him if his actions didn’t change,” but she turned around to get him. Because they would “never actually abandon or hurt him,” their actions were justified and perfectly fine. They would tell him he was acting like a baby when he started to cry and scream. “Little baby Scott, do you need a diaper?” Is how they would tease him when he became older, which just made his tantrums worse. They would tell him how disappointed they were with him and that he should be ashamed of himself and the way he acted because they gave him everything. They would call him, to his face, “an ungrateful manipulative piece of shit.” Because according to my parents, he could control his actions 100% and was choosing to act out to make their lives difficult. While I understand that this was hard for them, in my opinion, this in no way excuses their behavior. One time, Scott was crying and was upset (who knows why, but the kid had a lot of trauma and mental issues so it didn’t bother me too much), and my mother picked him up and put him in his room. She told him that every time he tried to leave his room, she would take away one of his stuffed animals. (He had several that he loved very much). Because this sounded so terrible to him, he ran after her trying to say it wasn’t fair. So she went into his room and took a stuffed animal. This cycle continued while he cried and begged for her to stop, because he just didn’t get it that she was going to keep doing this over and over and his trying to convince her was making it worse. Eventually, there were none left, and she told him if he didn’t stop crying she was going to throw them all away. I don’t remember what happened after that, but I do know that several of them were thrown away, if not at that time than others. There are many other instances of things like this and worse occurring, but we’d be here for a while if I tried to recount them all. Moving forwards to closer when I was moving out-
Now, several years later, when I turned sixteen, I had come to terms with the fact that I was bisexual. This went against everything my family was for, and I knew exactly how they viewed queer people. So, I started learning about different branches of Christianity and felt like I knew a God who loved me as I was and was happy in my decision to switch denominations. (My parents were baptists, and I wanted to be non-denominational). A few months after this, I decided to tell my parents the truth. I had done my best to give them hints, but I wanted to be honest with them because I trusted that they would love me and be there for me no matter what. When I told them I wanted to talk to them about something, they pushed and pressed and I had been trying to wait to talk to them until the next day. I had been seeing my high school counselor, and she suggested giving them a heads-up before springing that conversation up on them. However, after telling them to wait, they went through my phone and saw that I had researched different denominations and read different sermons on queer-accepting faith. They were livid. To be clear- I had a friend over while this was happening. We were watching a movie and joking about how I lost my phone and couldn’t show them this picture I wanted to. Then, I was called upstairs. I had apparently betrayed my parents and, “how could I do this to them, when I had someone over?” My father demanded I send my friend home, but my mother convinced him for one more hour. I was told not to tell my friend anything they had said and to act like things were fine, but I couldn’t. I went back downstairs where we were hanging out and started sobbing. I felt like my whole world was falling apart. Everything was over- and the people I thought would love me no matter what made me so afraid and sad, I was completely broken. My friend did their best to comfort me and even felt weary to leave me alone with my family but I told them I’d be okay, and asked that they update our friends about the situation. That night was hellish. So many conversations, them trying to understand what I felt, but not taking me particularly seriously either. That night turned into weeks of books, slideshows, conversations, and prayers. It felt like at-home conversion therapy. Eventually, I was given a choice “put my convictional flag in the ground or loose their trust.” As the petrified 16 year old, I chose to lie. I put my “flag” in the ground and did my best to, “earn back their trust” and repair their reputation that I had tarnished. The next couple months were a blur. I felt so terrible about myself. I didn’t know what I thought or believed and I became extremely hyper anxious and depressed. I had lost all sense of privacy and I did trust my parents further than I could toss them. My 17 year old brother (he was 14 at the time, let’s call him James) was 100% on board with my parents. My life felt like a living nightmare. My parents had it so that all my texts sent or received from my phone would go directly to theirs, so I couldn’t even confide in my friends without getting into trouble (which had happened and was how I found out that they did that because I deleted the texts immediately after sending/receiving things).. Everything felt like it was about me and how I needed to earn back their trust and how I was a terrible betrayer who they were not proud of in the slightest. I had gone to get a pixie cut (with their approval) and after they told me I was disgusting and repulsive and would never find a man to love me. I was heartbroken and felt so alone and unloved in my house, while I had to watch my younger brother be treated the way he was by my parents.
Luckily, I had a lot of friends and our school counselor who had been there for me through everything. They showered me with support and love and made sure I had a safe space to exist and truthfully I think they’re the only reason I didn’t do anything drastic and am still here today. It was hard though because James went to the same school as me and would tell my parents if I was with anyone he knew was queer or queer accepting. This caused me to be very very paranoid about who I was with, when, where, etc. Constantly covering my tracks, having an excuse set up and ready to bolt if I saw anyone I knew. What made things equally hard is that the church my father works at is quite big in our area. So if someone from our church or someone who knew my family saw me with anyone they labeled as “queer” or “gay,” they would tell my family as well. For the most part, I didn’t feel safe anywhere. I was constantly alert and on guard, even when I was asleep as my parents had woken me up before to confront me about someone I was friends with at school.
Fortunately for me, despite everything being such a mess, I am quite academically smart. I got a job the second I turned sixteen as I had heard the horror stories of queer kids being kicked out and wanted to be prepared. I had been saving money, taking college classes (we have a state program that pays for the classes while you’re in high school), and putting on a show for my family for quite some time. After saving some money, I paid my parents for an older car that they had paid off ten or so years ago. After my brother turned 16, he claimed it was too hard to share a car with me, so while I was away visiting a friend they bought him a car and told us that they expected each of us to pay them one thousand dollars before we graduated high school and that when we did so, they would sign over our respective cars to us. To be clear, I contributed to insurance and paid for my own gas, as well as contributing to my phone bill and money for food. Meanwhile, my brother had no job, and was constantly asking my parents for money to go out with friends. He had also taken up golfing, which as most people know is extremely expensive, and my parents funded everything. James had actually admitted to asking for more money than he needed and save the leftovers for whatever he wanted. I was also expected to chauffeur him to golf events and to get togethers with his friends, and my parents would in return give me some gas money. Another thing to note is that the only reason I was contributing to our phone bill is because James wanted unlimited data and my father said it was unreasonable unless we both contributed financially. I refused as I was trying to save money (as I would have with the car situation), however things per normal went James’s way. However, because he did not have a job, he was not expected to pay anything and would not be charged for the months and years that he did not contribute to. I did my best not to let these things get to me and to keep a level head. I paid my parents for the car because I already had over two thousand dollars saved as a seventeen year old high school student due to my hard work.
I focused on my classes and joined theater to help fill the hours in between school and work. I was much more active my sophomore year but when James also decided to join theater I retreated a bit as my once safe space to freely exist was no longer safe. I joined the stage crew but honestly that was also very enjoyable and lethargic for me and I enjoyed it a lot. Anyways, I was mostly a straight A student besides the stray Bs and one or two Cs (psychology and AP government screwed me over) and was working 15 or so hours a week. This is on top of my commitments to the church which were most of my Sundays and my Wednesday evenings. The funny thing is though- James missed more church than I ever did yet because my absence was because of work and not golf, I was the one consistently reprimanded for my lack of attendance and socialization whilst I was there. Yet because James could never do anything wrong and was a very extroverted person his lack of attendance wasn’t as serious as my own. I had one close friend through our church, let’s call her Grace (now 18F) and she actually knew about everything and was very supportive of me. I also had some other friends who really only showed up to church so I didn’t have to go through the torture alone which I don’t know if I could ever repay them for. Besides the people I was comfortable with though, I was pretty much a loner there and this heavily displeased my parents as it made them look bad and messed with their reputation. I never realized how much appearances meant to them until all of the shit that happened took place. As I mentioned before, our church is very conservative and traditional, and many sermons and lessons revolved around gender roles and the sinfulness of the world in terms fo the LGBTQ community. I consistently felt targeted because of my looks and my personality and stopped feeling comfortable there a very long time ago.
Now that more context is in place, fast forward to the end of my junior year. I had at this point finished all my high school requirements for graduation and was given an incredible opportunity to go to our local college full time for my senior year. I was very excited and happy because not only did it give me more freedom but it also meant I would get more than a year of my college education paid for by the state.
It was also around this time when I met my now boyfriend, let’s call him Dean. We were coworkers and had begun to get to know each other. We had a lot in common and while were different people personality wise, we enjoyed each other’s company quite a bit. By some miracle, I convinced my parents to allow me to hang out with him outside of work by claiming he was just a friend and saying that he was a Christian (which is by no means true). They were extremely skeptical but allowed us to hang out. We had an incredible time- and by the end of our first date he asked me to be his girlfriend which I happily accepted. I was so happy, but when I got home, things spiraled out of control. I told my parents about our time, and they were extremely unhappy as they felt fooled (which they were to be fair) and told me I was not allowed to see him ever again. I was devastated and they said a lot of very uncalled for things and but I understand why they were angry. To be clear, they knew I had a romantic interest in Dean and that this hangout was to see if we would be compatible partners and get to know each other better. They did not call it a date though because they weren’t comfortable with it, even if it was a date and they kinda knew it. So while they were on some level “fooled,” I feel that their anger and harshness wasn’t called for as they knew the intentions of our hanging out. The next morning my father demanded to see my phone. This is when I started to panic. You see, they had stop tracking my texts and I had openly flirted with Dean over text. Nothing that explicit and no photos of any kind. But the flirting would be enough for them to tear my world apart and I knew it. They had gone through my personal conversations before and made me feel terrible because of it and I refused to let them do it again. So I deleted everything. The entire conversation chain, I removed it from my phone 100%. My parents absolutely lost their shit. They had been manipulating and gaslighting me for years, doing anything and everything to keep their control and with my actions I showed them they couldn’t control me forever and things went very downhill. I lost all my privacy and was once again told how I had betrayed them and I was terrible and couldn’t be trusted. Again- I partially understand their anger here because I had directly disobeyed a command. But at the same time, I feel as a young woman I should be allowed some sense of privacy and the ability to talk to people without being constantly monitored. I don’t feel like I did anything wrong and would happily do it again in a heartbeat if it meant I’d be where I am today. Regardless of this, my life became a living hell once again, and my parents compared this to when I came out, “which was maybe the worst night of their lives.” They stripped me of all my privileges even if I didn’t have many to begin with. They made me feel absolutely miserable and awful about myself and I was monitored like never before. I would be working and receive texts upon texts of how I was so terrible and how could I do this to them because they had done everything for me and I’m a terrible daughter who should be ashamed of myself for the deceit and malicious nature of my actions. Again- this was because they could not read the messages between me and my now boyfriend. I understand them being mad but they took it to a completely inappropriate level. I shared everything happening with my friends and counselor and they supported me and assured me I did nothing wrong and they would be there for me which helped but as my home was now a living hellscape it was hard to hear it. I found a way to tell Dean about things and at first he felt guilty but I assured him that their actions were not his fault but theirs. He then asked me if I wanted to pause our relationship but I told him honestly that they had taken so many things I cared about over the years and I refused to let them take this. I did tell him however I understood if he didn’t want to put up with all the complicatedness of my family but he told me he cared for me and would be there so long as I was okay with it. He also told me if things ever got really bad at home, regardless of the fact we had just started dating, he had spoken to his family and they offered me a place to stay if I needed/wanted it. This really touched me, but I reassured him that it was not his job to offer that, but I appreciated the offer.
This begins our relationship and we were very happy. We had found a way to communicate over email, and we were able to hide our relationship with my family. Luckily for me, over the years I had made a habit of hanging out at the park by myself so it was not strange for me to head to the park for a couple of hours. There, I would leave my car and phone (my phone had a tracker on it) and Dean and I would hangout multiple times a week and it was heaven. At this point, we’ve only been dating for a year but I can admit without any doubt that I am in love with this man and he is in love with me. During the school year, it became easier for us to hang out in between classes as we both went to the same college (I am older for my year in school and he is younger, so he was a sophomore in college while I was a senior in high school. However, we are barely a year apart in age for anyone who is concerned). However, in order for us to communicate and hang out, I had to be extremely diligent and was consistently covering my tracks while “once again, earning my parents trust and repairing our relationship.” Because of course their actions were completely justified and I was the one in the wrong, per normal. Anyways, every day, I was editing search histories, erasing messages, and looking over my shoulder. Our church had a program on campus where Dean and I went to school, so being together in public was risky as my father’s friends and coworkers were always on campus and I knew I would be screwed if we were caught together. We had a couple of close calls over the months but it was all worth it because I hadn’t been that happy in years.
Now, to the day I left and why. You see, my parents' behavior towards Scott was becoming more aggressive and worse over time. They also had, in my opinion, a drinking problem. Considering they didn’t deny it when I called them out, they may agree. They would behave more hostile after several drinks and it was happening so consistently I was constantly walking on eggshells. Between the way they treated Scott, the way they treated me and the constant stress I was under trying to balance my life in fear of the repercussions, things became too much. When things weren’t going to shit, I was consistently expected to either babysit my brother and do chores while being a full time college student and working a part time job WHILE attending church multiple times a week and keeping up with my responsibilities as a senior. This is on top of the stress my parents' behavior caused, meanwhile James was expected to do almost nothing in comparison. Don’t get me wrong- he didn’t do anything, but he had almost no responsibilities outside of school and his extracurriculars which were exclusively funded by my parents. Yes he helped with dishes during the week and would keep his space tidy. But as my schedule became much more flexible due to my school schedule, my expectations around the house became much higher than his. Even though I paid 200 a month on gas, 50 a month for insurance and 50 a month for the phone bill, and he paid nothing for his car, insurance, phone, gas, nothing. So you would think he would be expected to help in the house more but no. Also, James’s behavior towards Scott mimicked my parents and so all babysitting responsibilities fell on me as they couldn’t be trusted alone together. I was rarely if ever paid for my cleaning or babysitting services as it was my responsibility as their eldest child. They would also consistently judge me for my weight, cloths, hair, hobbies, etc. Why did I think it was a good idea to get fast food? I clearly didn’t need it. They would “outfit check me” to make sure the outfits I wore were feminine enough because the way I look effected their reputation and I couldn’t be trusted. I was not allowed to cut my hair after their tantrum over it. As for my hobbies, I stopped playing sports in middle school as I am very short (currently 5 foot even) and was unable to keep up with my peers. However my interest in video games and cartoons wasn’t feminine enough and they proceeded to compare me to my best friend Grace because she was skinnier and liked more feminine things than I did which hurt a lot. Another thing for context, I have PCOS. It’s an endocrine disorder that heavily effects your metabolism and hormones, which in turn severely effected my weight, however my parents never acknowledged it and again made everything my fault. So from what I wore, what I ate, who I hung out with and what I enjoyed doing was constantly criticized, scrutinized and eventually controlled by my family for years. On top of everything else, I was done. I was 18, I had resaved the thousand I paid my family and knew I was at a place where I didn’t need them and was tired of being treated like shit. So I left.
The night I moved out was a total shit show. I had rallied Dean and my other friend, let’s call them Rita (18NB), and they helped me form a plan. When I returned home, Dean and Rita would be on their way. I would pack everything that belonged to me or I felt they would let me take, and prep the bags outside. After Rita arrived I went to try and explain to my parents that I would be leaving and explain calmly why. In a perfect world, we would have had a long deep talk, and things would have ended alright. That is far, far from what happened. They immediately starting screaming, and took my phone and car keys as both belonged to them, which I calmly handed over. Rita was there for emotional support, and put themselves between me and my parents as they got more angry and seemed to be turning aggressive. After that, my father called the police and claimed that there was an intruder in their home trying to take their child. Yeah. Complete bullshit- which to this day I’m surprised they were never charged with falsifying a 911 call. They screamed at Rita to get out of their home and was screaming that I was throwing away everything and I needed to reconsider. I ignored them and attempted to calmly walk out, and my parents attempted to barricade the doors while harassing Rita to leave. Because Rita is incredible and one of my closest friends now, they refused to leave without me which was very calming. While my parents were distracted yelling at them, I slipped out through the garage. My mother saw this and then grabbed me, attempting to drag me inside by my arm. Rita saw this and assisted me in getting her off me, and after doing so we continued to walk towards Dean’s car where he was waiting for us. He figured it would be best if my family didn’t see him for the time being as they would definitely lose their minds at seeing his face. My parents continued screaming and then the cops arrived. They were quite confused at first because they had been sent to deal with a potential kidnapping, only to see two grown adults throwing a tantrum because their adult child didn’t want to live with them anymore. That night was honestly so insane I could write three more pages about everything they said and did. The most notable events were first when my mother tried to explain to the police that because I was her child, she was allowed to put her hands on me, which they humorously informed her was not the case. The next was when James came home from theater rehearsal, to which my parents told them that I was abandoning our family. He was an emotional wreck through all of it, and to this day has told me that until I “fix” things with our parents he is not okay with having any form of relationship with me. Throughout all of this Scott was in his room, and I was allowed to give him one last hug before leaving. The final and most notable thing, was as the cops allowed my boyfriend, Rita and I to leave, my father threatened violence towards my boyfriend and accused him of "taking advantage of his underage daughter," which is just ridiculous as we are practically the same age, and anything we had done together was consensual and reserved for after I turned 18. Another thing my parents did was go through each bag I had packed and took everything they felt belonged to them, including the laptop provided to me by my high school, which they hilariously were made to give back to me several days later as it was not theirs and they had no right to take it. They tried claiming they were giving it to me out of the kindness of their hearts, but that bullshit meant nothing as after I informed the school of their behavior, the school assured me they would be made to give it back. Another thing they threatened to do as I left was pull me out of high school, which I was assured by the police they were not capable of doing as I was 18. The police were for the most part annoyed with my parents, tired of their bs and told me I seemed to be a capable young woman and wished me the best of luck. My parents had tried to ask the police to say I was mentally unstable for the time being so I wouldn’t be allowed to leave, as their “she’s still in high school” excuse didn’t do anything. You see, as my father is an influential church figure and had friends in the police force, he thought they would be on his side but was sorely mistaken as the chief told him they wouldn’t be doing him any favors. And with that, I was free.
My boyfriend's family has been nothing but unconditionally kind and supportive and have accepted me as part of their family which has been a huge blessing in all of this. I am in contact with my father’s sister and his father, my aunt and grandpa, and as I have expressed my unhappiness at home, they are supportive of me as well. However, as my aunt lives further away and my grandpa is not in the best place to have me live with him, I have been with my boyfriend's family since I left home in October. I have a lot more I could say but I already feel like there are way too many parts here and so for now I’ll leave it at this. So yeah, AITA for moving out after I was treated like shit for years while witnessing the mistreatment of my sibling?

So, me (19y/o F), and my best friend, 'E' (19y/o F), met during the first semester of school this year through our sorority. She was my big and I was her little, and we connected instantly and because close friends fast. We literally spent every waking moment together, and I even brought her home with me on some weekends from campus so she got to know my family and became a part of it quickly. Eventually I turned into the same for her family, and it even got to a point where people started asking if we were dating because we we're always together plus, I'm bi and 'E' is pan. Though we've kissed, (among other things) and did consider starting a romantic relationship, we both have a lot of issues when it comes to juggling life so we just decided to stay friends.
Anyways, so one time in November, Me, E, my sister, and my mom all went out to lunch near our campus. It was going great and we we're all having a good time, and the group arrives at the conversation of where E is from. Her family lives in Barbados, and she was explaining how she's had a few friends fly with her family from the states to her home when the school year ends, and they stay at their house for a week or so at the beginning of the summer.
I automatically jump at the opportunity and start trying to convince my mom to let me go. I mean, who wouldn't want to go on a vacation to a TROPICAL ISLAND with your BEST FRIENDS for an entire WEEK in a new country where I'm LEGAL DRINKING AGE??? It would literally be a DREAM come true.
**side note and background**
I've only been on ONE trip with friends without at least one of my parents, and it was last summer before I moved to college in Charleston, SC (we live in GA). Me and 4 of my friends paid for an AirBnB out of pocket, and left the next day for a week. It was great! I didn't tell my mom where I was going until the night before, and she couldn't stop me because I had already paid for it and my friend was driving us. She argued a little but didn't say much else because she "trusted the group I was going with.". She literally only knew one person in the group who was a close friend of mine for 4 years and is a Marine.
*back to the story*
I try to sneakily start talking my mom into even considering the idea because I know she won't go for it at first; she's one of those helicopter moms that has to know every teensy-weensy detail of her kids' plans and daily lives, though since I moved out, she can't keep hovering. I don't even get through my first line of begging before she flat out looks at me and E and says. "Yeah, I think we can make that happen."
Me and my sister stare at her like she's grown another f*cking HEAD and E jumps up and down excitedly. I questioned her multiple times on this, saying like,
"Seriously? You're not messing with me right now?",
and, "You're sure? Like 100% you'll let me go? No strings attached if I can pay for it?".
She even goes so far as to PROMISE to PAY FOR IT IN FULL as a birthday present if I don't ask for anything else.
I literally was on the verge of tears because I was having a really rough semester and ready to be done with school already, and this gave me something to look forward to at the end of the year.
Over the next couple of months we continued planning this trip to a tee: we figured out the best dates to plan the flights with the cheapest options so my parents wouldn't have to pay a sh!tload of money (even though we could pay the amount just fine). We planned it around both my little sisters and E's little sisters graduation ceremonies so we could both attend them and fly down together after, with her dad accompanying us. We had a daily workout routine planned so she could get ready for summer golf and so I could get into shape for pre-season basketball. We had friends that we we're planning on meeting for parties at houses in the neighborhood and had a huge schedule-packed-day for E's birthday, which would be on the first couple days we landed on the island.
March hits and the school year ends, and E comes and stays with me for a week after we move out. E had been having some health problems and hadn't been in the best of moods but otherwise everything was pretty quiet other than a few altercations my siblings and I had with my mom before she went out of town. The week goes by quickly, then E's mom comes to pick her up from my house and we try and get E's mom and my mom to collaborate to figure out plane tickets because it's about time to book them, and my mom keeps changing the subject. Before we even have a chance to bring it up again E and her fam have to leave.
Flashforward to a about a week or so later, I've been fighting a bit with my mom and walking around the house on eggshells, but I decide to bring up the flight and ticket booking to my parents the day before mother's day. My mom immediately shoots down the idea and suggests that we talk about it another time, but I push back because it's already mid-May and we're supposed to leave May 27th.
I explain how 'if we don't talk about it now, it's not going to happen, and I want to have an adult conversation about it because I am indeed an adult and want to be treated like one and expect to be treated like one.'
She goes off on me and says:
"Fine, if you want to have an adult conversation then listen to what I'm saying. I don't want you going to Barbados. I don't like the fact that you'll have to fly back on your own. I thought that E's mom was gonna be with you there and back. E's little breakdown the other day makes me think that she needs some time away from you and you going to Barbados with her wouldn't help that. Plus, Delta doesn't fly there and your dad couldn't use his sky miles so the ticket is gonna be expensive. This is just a lot for your first trip and I don't think it's a good idea. Going to a third-world country your first time out of the US just isn't something I think you're ready for. Also have you seen the crime rates there?? It says here that robberies and assault are a huge thing there."
She then had my dad pull up articles and papers on the crime rates on the island, which is little to none.
Ironic because we live in the US and in the 15 different states our family has lived in, I've personally been through 2 school shootings, gone to school on countless days with bomb threats, had to stay home because of armed robberies in neighboring houses (in nice-ass neighborhoods too), and had copious amounts of friends and loved-ones die or get sick from alcohol and drug abuse and/or become a victim or witness to SA.
I tried to cut in multiple times during this rant to give my opinion and talk through this with my parents. My dad listened to a bit of it, but ultimately my mom has absolute say, and she wasn't having any of it. All of the reasoning my parents gave me are just weak excuses that I have a rational solution or failsafe for. The worst part is the fact that I'm not even surprised. I should've known this would happen.
**sob story and me feeling sorry for myself lol skip if u want**
I'm the oldest of 4 and adopted; I try to step up into that role and be helpful as often as I can, but I've missed out on so many core memories throughout high school and college because I feel so obligated to them. I even got a full-ride scholarship, so my parents don't have to pay as much for my college. I'm truly becoming a functioning adult, but I will admit I still depend on my parents for a lot of things. I will never take that for granted. I know my place and know that I am spoiled as hell, but I also know that I'm not being unreasonable for being angry at them for breaking their promise to me.
**OK sob story done
AITA for staying mad at my parents for saying I can't go on this trip, and would it be even worse if I simply just figured out a way to pay for it myself and went without their permission?
Should I try to keep convincing them to pay for it??
SHOULD I JUST GO TO THERAPY? (definitely, yes)
E and me got off the phone about an hour or so ago and she told me some news. Her mom offered to pay for half the ticket (and then some if necessary) to help get me out of the house, even if it's not the week of E's birthday. I start working this coming Monday, and hopefully if I can work as many hours as I can in the first few weeks, I can save up some money and go to Barbados with the help of E and her mom. She's transferring to another college, and I may be dropping out, so we're not going to be going to the same school anymore. We had kinda hoped that this trip could be our last hurrah before the dynamic duo got split up for awhile.
Sorry for such a long post, this just has so many different aspects to it and I need some outsider advice. I keep seeing these on SMOSH and figured people might have a different way of seeing this than me and my friends.
**(PS my mother may or may not have BPD, Anxiety, a split personality and just a lot of childhood trauma that causes her to act like this. My dad is lowk absent and travels a lot but he tries his best; E's parents are almost the opposite from mine.)**

I am looking for new friends. I have been quite lonely. My gf from 2 years recently broke up with me. I have a post explaining ehat happened, but here I am looking for some company.
My hobbies include playing basketball, traveling, camping and hiking. I am a college student in US.
I hope I can find some good friends. Looking forward to talk to you. 😊🫶

So I, F24, made the decision at Thanksgiving to go no-contact with my Father, and both sides of my family, maternal and paternal, have been guilt-tripping me non-stop for this decision for months. However, none of them know or understand the circumstances leading up to this decision. (This is long one, but context is important to understand why I no longer with to associate with him)
First, we have to go back to when I was a kid. During my childhood my dad was just a dude who lived in our house and ate all our snacks. He barely interacted with us, save for taking me to the occasional Harry Potter or Marvel movie. He missed my softball games, my volleyball games, my basketball games, my school events such as choir recitals, plays, etc. not because of work (which I would understand) but to instead play Warhammer and paint little figurines for the game. He was also emotionally volatile and abusive. On several occasions he slapped me across the face and numerous times called me "as dumb as a monkey" and even one time called me an "ogre."
Shit ultimately hit the metaphorical fan when I was 16, and I discovered (on my 16th birthday, yeah, literally on the day I turned 16) that my mother was cheating on my father. From there, family life spiraled. At the time, I was very angry with my mother, and while I still disagree with how she handled the situation, she was very much a "married-single-mother." She took care of all the household chores, mowed and watered the lawn, walked and fed the dogs, cooked dinner, coached my softball games, attended me and my brother's events, all on top of being a full-time high-school teacher. I can't blame her for trying to seek emotional connection with someone else when none of her emotional needs were being met by her husband.
Now, after my mother's cheating was revealed, my father went off the rails. Especially when he began to notice I quickly reconciled with my mom, and for obvious reasons, chose to live with her. As she was quite literally, the only parent I had. I still had a relationship with my father, but it become tense. It all boiled over a few months later when on Easter, my brother and I came back from my mom's newly minted apartment a few minutes away, to an empty home with pills all over the counter and floor (I'll let you fill in the blanks of what he did). After I called my mom, she called the nearest hospital and found out my father had been taken there to be treated.
This left me scarred emotionally for months, as a few weeks before when I was staying at my father's house alone, he woke 16-year-old me up in the middle of the night and told me to take all his pills away. I'd told no one about it, and kept it to myself out of pure fear and being a child put in a situation beyond her years. After the event, my father refused to speak about it, refused to acknowledge what his actions had done to me and my brother, and as a result, I emotionally disconnected from him completely.
He sensed this disconnection, and instead of trying to apologize or take responsibility, he attacked the relationship with my mother. He did many things like texting me to tell on her, but the most egregious thing he did was show my naked photos of my own mother - including a photo of her vagina - while telling me she was a dirty whore for sending photos to men. From that point, I refused to go over to his house and stay there alone with him. I never told anyone about what he did (at least not for a few years, until I finally told my mother what he'd done when I was 23). We maintained contact, but from that point on the relationship was tanked in my mind. I was only nice and only attended holidays to maintain appearances, and in hindsight, out of fear of his retaliation.
Well, finally, after moving back home from college (to which even failed to congratulate me) I decided I had enough of the niceties and the pageantries, and no longer wanted to deal with him. Ever since I told him I no longer wanted to speak with him or have contact, he's been speaking to almost every member of our family with a sob story, including my maternal grandmother. With each family member he speaks too, all of them call me or text me telling me to "Give him a chance" or to "be fair to him." Each time I tell them I've made my decision, I've been told I'm being an asshole for holding the past over his head. So here we are.
I guess I just wanted to vent and get this off my chest. If you took the time to read, thank you, I really appreciate it :)

College basketball bulgebm

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