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2011.03.04 14:56 Illadelphian NoBSNews: A place where sensationalism goes to die
2024.05.16 08:57 Yurii_S_Kh St. Theodosius of the Kiev Caves
 | https://preview.redd.it/sq9ob43vkq0d1.png?width=450&format=png&auto=webp&s=00f9b50b4221afd75c3ba40d6bc078bded8781e1 submitted by Yurii_S_Kh to SophiaWisdomOfGod [link] [comments] Theodosius, whose name means "gift of God," grew up in the small cities of Vasilkov and Kursk where his father was a judge. Although his parents were Christian and gave him an education directed primarily at the study of Scripture, they were astonished to see his heart so completely overtaken by love for God. His father died when Theodosius was 13, and this caused the boy to retreat still further from the world common to one of his age and social rank. He gave away his good clothes, preferring to dress like the poor, and found pleasure in helping the peasants with their work. He often went to church, and when he learned that Divine Liturgy was sometimes not celebrated due to a lack of prosphora, he undertook to bake them himself. His mother loved him dearly, but she did not share her son's life-encompassing Christian outlook; she was very conscious of her social standing and felt that by engaging in such lowly occupations Theodosius brought shame upon the family. She tried cajoling, then threatening and even physically beating him to make him change his ways, but Theodosius stood firmly on the path of the Gospel commandments. His zeal for the things of God inspired Theodosius to slip away with a band of pilgrims bound for the Holy Land. Three days later his mother tracked him down, berated the pilgrims for having taken the boy along, and dragged Theodosius home where she kept him in chains until the youth promised not to leave her again. The humility of the youth and the sufferings he endured at the hands of his mother came to the attention of the governor who requested that the youth attend him in church. This served to calm the domestic drama, but Theodosius' heart yearned for a more concentrated spiritual atmosphere, for monastic life. Standing in church one day, he was struck by the words of the Gospel: "He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me." With fixed resolve, he took advantage of his mother's departure into the country for a few days to set out for Kiev, taking with him nothing but some bread for the road. The monks in the established monasteries, however, turned him away because he had no money. Then he heard about the righteous Anthony. Coming to his cave, Theodosius fell to his knees and begged the holy ascetic to accept him. "My son," said Anthony, "you see my cave; it is cramped and dismal, and I fear you will not endure the difficulties of life here." "Know, O blessed father," replied Theodosius. "that God Himself has led me to your holiness that I might find salvation. I shall do all that you enjoin." Foreseeing his future greatness, the blessed Anthony accepted the determined aspirant and bade the priest monk Nikon tonsure him. Theodosius was 23 years old. It was a few years before his distraught mother finally discovered her son’s whereabouts. With great reluctance Theodosius went out to her. At first she vowed that she would die if he did not come home with her. But gradually God softened her heart and she came to see the wisdom of her son's patient admonitions. Following his advice she entered the St. Nicholas convent there in Kiev where she ended her days in peace. https://preview.redd.it/h10jlboxkq0d1.png?width=225&format=png&auto=webp&s=0b0cf8272c80cf80377438120ecc92fb8624389c When Theodosius became abbot, he saw need for a common rule to unite the growing community--which by that time was living above the ground; only a few hermits were left in the caves--and he sent one of his monks to Constantinople to copy out the rule of the Studite Monastery. The rule governed the daily life of the monk: it set the hours of prayer and work; monks were forbidden to have any personal possessions, everything was held in common; all monks were together for common meals: time, apart from prayer, was to be spent in working; all activity was begun with a blessing from an elder and with prayer. The monks were to reveal their thoughts to the abbot, a practice which roused them to constant spiritual vigilance and helped to check manifestations of the passions before they took root in the heart. Above all things, have fervent charity among yourselves (I Peter 4:8). It was St, Theodosius' choice of the Studite Rule, with its emphasis on the duty of charity and the common good, which served to revive the ancient ideal of strict cenobitism and gave Russian monasticism its characteristic warmth. "What is principally necessary," taught Theodosius, "is that the youngest should love their neighbor and listen to their elders with humility and obedience. The elders should lavish on the young love and instruction; they should teach them and comfort them." This attitude created an atmosphere eminently suitable for missionary work, and it was thanks to the monasteries that Christianity was so successfully propagated in Russia. Of a strong constitution, Theodosius was a model of industriousness. Even as abbot, he felled trees, carried water, and ground wheat, often helping the other brethren with their obediences. Once, the cook came to ask if he would assign a monk to cut firewood, as the kitchen supply was depleted. "I am idle," replied the Saint, and he set to chopping wood himself. He worked through the dinner hour and the brethren, when they came out and saw their abbot hard at work, were inspired to do likewise. Knowing the great benefit of good books upon the soul, Theodosius instituted the reading of spiritually profitable texts during meals, and sought to augment the number of such books in the monastery. Books were still a rarity at that time, and one of the valued occupations of the monastery was the copying and binding of manuscripts. Theodosius himself helped in this work. At first, life in the Caves Monastery was very austere indeed. The monks lived principally on rye bread and water with the addition of a few vegetables which they cultivated themselves; they wove their own cloth and sewed their own garments. When the brethren murmured about some deficiency, Theodosius exhorted them to place their trust in the Lord Who knew their needs. And his faith was often miraculously rewarded. The reputation of the monks as 'angels on earth' began attracting pilgrims; princes and peasants ca me for spiritual counsel and left donations. Grand Prince Izyaslav, who became very attached to St. Theodosius and frequently came to visit him, was a great benefactor of the monastery, as also was the Viking Prince Shimon who was baptized into the Orthodox Church together with his entire household, numbering some 3,000 members. With increased mean s, Theodosius was able to build a guest house for pilgrims where the poor and sick also found refuge. No beggar was ever turned away from the monastery without being given a meal. Weekly a cart was sent from the monastery laden with bread to be distributed among those in prison. The Saint's compassion was boundless. Once there were brought to him some robbers who had been apprehended in the act of stealing monastery property. With tears the Saint entreated them to mend their ways. Then, having fed them, he let them go. The robbers were so moved by the Saint's mercy that they repented and became honest, God-fearing men. Like St. Anthony, Theodosius also endured the effects of the princes' quarrels. At the same time he maintained his independence and did not fear risking the displeasure of his royal benefactors if he felt called as a spiritual father to admonish them. When, for example, Svyatoslav unjustly took the throne from Izyaslav, the Saint wrote a strong letter to Svyatoslav, reproving his action and urging him to restore power to his older brother. This angered Svyatoslav, and Theodosius was warned of possible consequences, but he calmly replied: "Nothing could be better for me in this life than to suffer for the sake of the truth." Mindful of the Saint' s popularity, Svyatoslav took no action against him and even went to visit him. He was surprised when Theodosius received him with the respect due to one of authority. "I was afraid you'd be angry with me," said the Prince. "Our duty," replied the Saint, "is to say what is beneficial for the soul's salvation; and you would do well to listen." Although Svyatoslav could not be persuaded to give up the throne and Theodosius continued to commemorate the pious Izyaslav as the lawful ruler, their relationship was peaceful and it was Svyatoslav who gave land for the building of the new stone church. Work had just begun on this church when St. Anthony reposed. Neither did St. Theodosius live to see its completion. It was his custom to retire to a cave for the course of Great Lent, and it was during this time, in 1074, that the Lord revealed to him his imminent departure from this world. On Bright Week, having joyfully celebrated the radiant feast of Pascha in the monastery, he fell ill. Summoning the brethren, he informed them that his time had come, and foretold the very day and hour of his repose. By common consent of the brotherhood, he blessed his disciple Stefan to take his place as abbot, exhorting him not to change the tradition s of the monastery, "but follow in all things the law and our monastic rifle." May 3,1074. The divinely appointed hour arrived and the bright soul of the Saint took leave of its earthly tabernacle. As he had willed, his body was laid to rest in the cave which alone with the angels had witnessed his ascetic labors. Eighteen years after the Saint's blessed repose, the monastery brethren decided to transfer his relics to the new cathedral church. The abbot, together with monk Nestor the chronicler, went to the cave to dig up the relics and discovered them to be incorrupt. Accompanied by a large crowd of people, the relics were solemnly transferred to the Dormition Cathedral on August 14, 1092. And in 1106 Saint Theodosius was added to the list of canonized saints. True to their promise, the holy founders of the Caves Monastery continued to watch over its existence even after their repose. There is, for example, the story written by Bishop Simon (+1226), a former monk of that monastery and principal author of the Kiev Caves Patericorn of how the stone church was completed. Sts. Anthony and Theodosius had been gone from this world some ten years when a group of Greek iconographers came to the Caves Lavra demanding to see the two monks who had hired them to adorn the new church with frescoes. They were rather angry inasmuch as the church standing before them was considerably larger than they had been led to believe and would consequently require more work than was covered by the sum of gold they had received there in Constantinople upon signing the agreement. Abbot Nikon, confessing his ignorance of the matter, asked who it was that had hired them. "Their names were Anthony and Theodosius," "Truly," said the abbot, "I cannot summon them, for they departed this life ten years ago. But as you yourselves testify, they continue to care for this monastery even now." https://preview.redd.it/k3vsiyu1lq0d1.png?width=172&format=png&auto=webp&s=a3408a2561adad1709eba7009c45d9ef7497f068 The Greeks, scarcely believing this possible, called some merchants traveling with them, who had been present at the signing of the agreement, and asked that they be shown an image of the deceased. When this was done the Greeks bowed low, for they recognized in the saints the exact likeness of the two men who had commissioned them to paint the frescoes and given them the gold. Acknowledging the supernatural power of the saints, they decided not to cancel the agreement after all, and set about with heightened inspiration to embellish the church. The iconographers never returned to Constantinople; they became monks and ended their days there in the Caves Monastery. The Dormition Church, rebuilt in 1470, was destroyed in 1941 by an explosion which the Soviets attribute to the Germans. Witnesses, however, state that it was the communists themselves who set delayed action explosives just before the German occupation of the city. Orthodox America |
2024.05.16 08:52 Life_Faithlessness90 They Act Like Idiots In Front Of Their Grown Children - Drunk Me Gen Moment
Parent gets drunk during game night and tries to do the "River Dance". After at least 3 foot surgeries, and an absolute inability to do things like ice skate or look up with losing balance, I warned her that I'm not scraping her off the floor. Of course, as a typical ME gen moron, she stops talking not to listen but to wait for her turn to speak again:
P.S. Screw calling them Boomers, they chose that name, they are the ME generation (as they were called) and it shows every second they speak.
submitted by Life_Faithlessness90 to BoomersBeingFools [link] [comments]
There's the easy step and the hard step, I'm doing the hard step. This is great exercise.Why do I feel like they act like worse children than we were when we were "actual* kids, and why does it feel like spite?? I told my mother she acts like a 17 year old when she gets drunk, and she got offended, yet she's currently hanging on to the fridge making a mockery of a traditional dance movement. Oh, while making comments like:
My sister never believed we were Irish!That sentence had so many issues I just walked away flabbergasted and resigned to this childishness. I could write a NY Times bestseller off her daily antics, thank you for allowing me to speak about my Me Gen parent.
P.S. Screw calling them Boomers, they chose that name, they are the ME generation (as they were called) and it shows every second they speak.
2024.05.16 08:27 IloveColdCruncPickle I can’t get along with my mom, what should I do?
This is my first time posting so I’m sorry if it doesn’t make much sense or I’m trauma dumping a lot also a couple trigger warnings, I’m not sure where to start off with. Me and my mom used to be pretty close I’d say up until I started high school. Middle of eighth grade I moved to a new city so I was back to trying to find some friends. I’ve been moving around since I could remember, I used to live in Germany where I moved twice, then moved to the US around the Silicon Valley, moved again, and again and again now we’re here. I wouldn’t be explaining this part of my life if I felt like it didn’t have any weight in this situation. Middle school I found a friend, me and her got pretty close, stuck through Covid together. My mom hated her and not even two years into our friendship my mom started accusing her of stealing from us, being a bad influence and overall just being trashy. Her parents were in the middle of getting a divorce and she had a lot of things going on in her life. I dyed my hair red during this time too while being friends with her, she probably was a huge influence on me but that’s also because it was covid and I was bored and who doesn’t start irrationally bleaching and coloring their hair at 14. I think my mom thought she was a bad influence on that part too because she's the one that first started off coloring her hair like purple and pink etc. My mom never of course said anything to my friend but she made sure I would hear of her disapproval concerning her bad influence in my life. I stopped being friends with her freshman year since my parents banned me from having her over or going to her house, I couldn’t drive neither could she and hanging out at each other's houses was pretty much what we did 80% of the time. I was so frustrated and felt trapped because the only friend I really cared about was someone I wasn’t allowed to associate with anymore. I told her I was done being friends with her over text and blamed it on me just being in a dark place and breaking it off. She was confused and called me a week later about something personal but I just dismissed it. Granted there were other things going on in our friendship but I felt terrible about it especially since her parents were going through that divorce and I just left during such a sensitive time. I hate to admit it but I felt so much better since I started making new friends quickly and started sitting with a new group the next day. Mostly guys and other two girls, it worked out fine for the next year. Junior year my grades started dropping so my parents got stricter, started taking my phone, looking through it, screen time etc. I felt like it was a huge invasion of privacy since my mom would look through my texts. Me and my mom also started arguing weekly about whatever it was but when I mean arguing I mean like full on yelling for two hours down in the living room with no stopping. I can’t do anything about it because whenever I say something remotely disproving her so called “facts'' since she always speaks with so much authority on subjects she wouldn’t even know about I’m the one that has to quiet down from my fathers perspective, and I know this will be mostly about my mom but me and my dad have always been close even when we’re fighting within a week we at least make it up. We play the same sports, have the same humor etc. I understand this might look like us disregarding my mom and I know she cares and loves me yet in certain circumstances she doesn’t show it so of course there’s going to be reasons as to why I’m closer with my dad than her. For example I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes in 4th grade and of course I wouldn’t expect anyone to know that when you're low you need carbs or when your blood sugar is high you need insulin but my mom to this day still does not understand it. I wouldn’t care even if it’s my friend but as my mom you take so much authority over my life and who I can’t or can hangout with but you don’t know the basics of how I have to manage my life behind closed doors in the house that you and I live in every day. That might sound overdramatic but it’s just something I think about. Also growing up, I’m an only child by the way, I would always play by myself whenever we went on vacation for example to the beach etc. it was always my dad that came and played with me in the sand while at sharing his time with me and my mom so my mom wouldn’t gets upset over him leaving her to go play with me. Even now I notice how my mom would always make snarky comments regarding how my dad always treats me like a princess and cares too much over me. Anywho, since I know this is getting pretty long I’ll try to sum it up a bit more. I started liking one of the guys from that group, I would text him on a daily basis just about whatever. We were pretty awkward in person since I’ve never really talked to that many guys and I don’t think he really had much experience either so we stuck it to mostly phones, everyone else in the group also didn’t know. Once my mom went through my phone on one occasion that night, because she would collect it on some nights and read through my messages in bed she saw one message from that guy calling my mom bipolar and me responding with something like it’s fine like I still love her she freaked out. She told me to never talk to him again and that I’m a brat for talking about my family issues outside of the family etc. I honestly had nobody to talk to. The other two girls in the group didn’t really talk to me at this time, I later became really close with one of them though more on that later and I had no other friends in that town so it was really only him. He had a plethora of family issues that I couldn’t even imagine so I felt like he understood where I was coming from at times better than other kids with American parents. Not sure I mentioned but my parents were both born in Eastern Europe and grew up during heavy communism so that definitely affected them and their parenting style. Anywho, my mom sent me a paragraph to show to him, basically telling him to never talk to me again and that he has to apologize to her etc. After a couple months I think he took me out on a date. I'm not sure what to make of it since it was pretty casual. We just got ice cream. I told my parents that he was only picking me up so we could meet with the rest of the group when of course we’re not. The rest of the guys saw us downtown and found out about it. That kinda really sucked since I’m pretty sure one of them liked me so he got really mad and it kind of ruined the group dynamic. The guy I liked stopped talking to me a couple months in since I couldn’t really do much or go anywhere and dating as a result would be hard so he stopped really talking to me it was pretty off and on since I would get mad stop texting him and then he would try to get back texting at me and once I showed him I cared he’d stop. I was so mad at him and the situation that I refrained myself from talking to him, two weeks later he killed himself. I found out because one of the guys from the group faced me and told me. I went downstairs and started crying and formed the sentences explaining it the best I could, pushing a couple words out at a time. In that very moment I felt so hurt and vulnerable by what just happened my mom responded by just looking at me and saying that he had it coming for him since he probably vaped and drank. My dad ran downstairs since he probably heard me crying and the first thing he did without asking me any questions was hug me. For the first time ever he told my mom to shut up since her trying to ask me questions about how he died just made me sob harder. Over the next week my mom was pretty lenient about letting me go out. The next week she started asking what happened to him. Me and my mom were not close at all anymore at this time. You see mothers and daughters talking about guys or what dress they’re gonna wear to the prom etc in the movies. Me and my mom are not like that. On top of that I was overwhelmed with what happened and as someone does overthinking how things could have played out differently. Anyway I refused to tell her anything saying I was too uncomfortable and over the course of the next couple months of senior year she would get progressively mad and irritated at me to the point of arguing and yelling at me for not trusting her and telling her how he killed himself. I to this day told her nothing but she stopped asking. I don’t know how my dad feeds into this since he’s always so Switzerland about everything when I know I’m right in an argument between me and my mom, however when my mom has leverage he takes her side. Anyway, the beginning of senior year was rough. I hated being in that house and really started seriously considering the only options I felt like I had at the time. I started becoming closer to that one girl from the group earlier, spoiler alert my mom strongly dislikes her now too since she’s a liar and since she’s close with her mom but not her dad that means her parents are having marital issues and therefore her mom is a cheater etc. I don’t understand how she goes from one topic to another and sorts these things into her head. She’s my only friend that I’m really close with and I have been for the past these almost two so hearing this is very disheartening since I’m sending off senior year and I can’t do this again being so close to the end of the year. I forgot to mention but during homecoming I drank for the first time and I had one of my guy friends with his girlfriend and that friend that I’m not friends with drop me off. When he dropped me off he didn’t wave to my mom so she now thinks he’s a bastard in her words and disgusting and she deserves and apology for all the times he’s been over to my house etc. which I honestly think is insane because how do you always have so many issues over my friends and why are you so obsessed with 16 year olds, like you really have beef with high school kids as a 50 year old. Anyway the reason I bring that up is because I invited him over a couple weeks ago for some drills to help one of my other friends with mma since me and him used to wrestle and my mom got mad despite him not being there for me but for my other friends benefit. I’m not sure if this makes any sense. I'm trying to explain the issue best I can without saying too much. Anyway my friend, the one that I’m friends with now, the girl and that guy from the group that didn’t wave at my mom are both Latin so my mom started calling them cheaters and dirty etc when they had nothing to do with anything. This argument spiraled over me asking my mom if I can have a sleepover with those friends since we want to bring a new series on Netflix. Also during prom I asked my parents for 10 dollars since I already had twenty in my account and I wanted to buy hair stuff for prom. They gave me the 10 and I said how I was going to catch a ride with friend A so that when friend A picked me up but friend B that I did not mention in the plan picked me up my parents started calling and texting me. To give some background friend B has been close with me since freshman year, probably the only friend my mom has liked and also the only white friend I have not sure if that has anything do with it but there’s that. She’s really sweet and has been invited over multiple times to my house by my parents, they do really like her. Anywho yet since I didn’t mention that friend B was driving the car since my parents didn’t recognize the new car and knew it wasn’t friend A driving yet assumed it was indeed friend B but since I didn’t mention that they took all the money I had in my account which was only 30 dollars but it was what I needed to get my nails and hair gloss and hair spray for prom, I just started breaking down in the middle of target. I was so excited to get my stick on nails etc since I couldn’t afford to get the acrylics since I was paying for all my prom stuff for the most part. By the way I know that the 10 dollars was initially there so I understand taking away that but the other 20 I made selling my clothes on mercari and I had nothing else like no other cash nothing that was the money I worked on to get my prom stuff. It was mostly my dad actually that got mad at this point taking my money etc and than following a got a text from my mom saying I got what I was coming for by acting the way I have been. There were 3 others with me while I was at target so having three of my friends see me breakdown from me only having 14 cents left in my account was so humiliating. I ended up looking great at prom neither less so don’t even worry about that, my hair looked great and I found some old stick-ons in my laundry room and painted them white lol a couple of them popped off during prom but whatever. This has been really long and thanks to whoever spent their time reading through all of this I’m sorry if the read is a bit of a struggle but I just don’t know what to think or do of this situation. Keep in mind I’m 18 now, never have had a boyfriend, never have do anything, kissed, even held hands romantically etc. it’s one thing you know to not care about any of that but the thing is I do and I want to experience being a teenager and going out and going on dates and not worry about my mom flipping out on one of my friends. While we were in Italy one of the tour guys told her to move on the bus to make more room for others and she started cussing him out telling him to f himself etc for telling her a paying customer where to sit. Everyone started staring at us. I did not want to be there. I just kept my head down the entire time and didn’t really talk to my mom out of embarrassment for the next two days. Also after that prom incident I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere after as a result of go to friend B's birthday bash the next day so my mom texted her without my knowledge and told her not to tell me about how I’ve been acting up and one day I’ll learn when I’m her age but it will be too late and that I don’t know what I’m doing and finishing off my apologizing on my part for my behavior and I’m the reason why I can’t go to her party. Which I find so infuriating because one of the main reasons why I don’t tell my mom anything about my personal life is because I simply don’t want her to have that control of knowing what my life is like, I probably tell the teacher I TA for more than my own biological mother. The fact that she preached family issues in the family so heavily and that you should never talk about issues to others yet goes behind my back and tells my friend that my indecent behavior is the reason why I can’t go is so beyond me because where did your ideals go that you preached so heavily about. Every time I’m around my mom especially when she has her flares of anger I just start shaking like you know when you drink something with a lot of caffeine in the morning and you don’t eat anything so mid way through the day you just start getting jittery and anxious, kind of like that. Ok I think I’m done anyway thank you for tuning in cause I really have to start studying for human geo, thanks for reading up until here 🙂.
submitted by IloveColdCruncPickle to FamilyIssues [link] [comments]
2024.05.16 08:25 SnooDonuts3378 Rewriting Blue Eye Samurai's Ending
 | I didn't like the ending of BES. They planned to have 10 episodes but it was cut down to 8 due to budget from what I heard. submitted by SnooDonuts3378 to BlueEyeSamurai [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/0sdo6gdcfq0d1.jpg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=202117417c0e0098083905cc48dbdf59f37adefd I wrote down my idea on what a better ending for BES would look like. This is my headcanon and act like what I wrote genuinely happened in the show. I wrote all this down in my notes app so it might be kinda disorganized. And some thoughts are incomplete. The notes: Everything before the finale was great. The conclusion of the finale was fine, by that I mean I’m ok with these points:
This is in no way me trying to disrespect the writers. I'd still rate BES a 8.5-9/10. Let me know what you would change about the ending. |
2024.05.16 07:57 gdgdagg ROARING KITTY STREAM FROM THE ANON’S SHOE Timestamps and Notes from Wednesday January 13th, 2021 [Part 1]
![ROARING KITTY STREAM FROM THE ANON’S SHOE Timestamps and Notes from Wednesday January 13th, 2021 [Part 1]](https://external-preview.redd.it/eU8wfhJgHmipndZmNoReuDWVpeHBzYPVf4lwJXyk_OE.jpg?width=108&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=2c1436936eeff11f207f31a26d46ebafca39e7c9 "ROARING KITTY STREAM FROM THE ANON’S SHOE Timestamps and Notes from Wednesday January 13th, 2021 [Part 1]") | From the most recent X post from @TheRoaringKitty submitted by gdgdagg to Superstonk [link] [comments] SuperStonk Thread: https://www.reddit.com/Superstonk/comments/1csznqh/roaring_kitty_theroaringkitty_on_x/ X Post: https://twitter.com/theroaringkitty/status/1790894938277695671?s=46&t=1kgf16QwDp2Ydp9mdZLBYw At timestamp 2:05: https://preview.redd.it/0j2bu8m7aq0d1.png?width=594&format=png&auto=webp&s=e0dab32dd836c7c836d8a1ef0ade20d50ce01b5f Link to stream: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UhhgpNFKPQ. Shoutout to the ape’s who originally found the stream and linked it for easy access for a smooth brain like me to click! From there, I decided that I should watch it and provide timestamps. It’s obvious to me that RK wanted us to look at that specific stream. There are so many parallels to the current situation (Wednesday, action on no news, high short interest, increasing volume, etc.). Please take the time to watch the first 3-10 minutes of the stream! If you are in a hurry, hopefully my notes summarize the sections well. [this is a 5 hour stream. I was watching at 2x speed, but only got to 3hrs 23min in. I’ll finish tomorrow ASAP!] TL;DR THE THESIS HASN’T CHANGED 7:20 2nd part of the thesis starts today [WEDNESDAY] *10:29 Where does it go from here? 12:30 Emoji Enjoyer *14:15 Updated Thesis [Ryan Cohen] 18:40 Multi Day Runs 19:28 Meme Stock BS 30:15 After Hours Volume Check 34:38 Consequences for Shorts *36:10 POUR ONE OUT FOR THE SHORTS 39:15 Betting on a Short Squeeze 40:57 Overstock comparison **42:30 “For the folks new to the GameStop story”
54:30 Two ways to value a stock like GameStop
* 1:05:30 Bad Analysis vs. Good Analysis 1:12:45 Shortseller’s Thesis [Bankruptcy] 1:14:35 What actually matters [Cash Flow] 1:18:45 Has the squeeze started? [No, SI not released for 2 weeks and shorts didn’t close] 1:22:35 Dividends? [Doubt that. More likely to reinvest] 1:26::28 International Audience! [Brazil mentioned] 1:40:40 Company Tracking Methodology *1:43:15 GameStop can invent it’s legacy business [PC Gaming] 1:48:05 Who to listen to for information? [Build opinions over time, review results and recalibrate] 1:57:00 Q: Do you consider that the market can act rationally? A: Absolutely, you have to take that into account 2:02:30 Discussion around other stocks 2:21:35 Q: Has the short squeeze started? [A: a short squeeze is a price rising as a result of the shorts closing] 2:22:50 Robot Shorts [large institutions] *2:24:55 Cheers to the great Ryan Cohen and crew! 2:28:40 Discussion around steel stock *2:35:40 Value Investor to roth(?) Investor [Because of Ryan Cohen because of what it can become]
2:47:13 Talking about Cramer 2:51:00 Legit Thesis: Bear sentiment major overhang. Chatter about stock is a good thing! 2:53:15 Discussing other stocks *2:58:23 “The more you dig into the GME situation, the better it looks long. Cohen changes the game” 3:00:40 Getting rid of the dividend - why RK became interested in the stock 3:02:18 Short squeeze timeline [days, weeks, even months!] 3:03:45 Maximizing Returns [Concentration/ outsized positions that are ‘really right’] 3:08:20 Financial Advice [Can’t provide specific advice without context] 3:10:50 Borrow Rate/ Fee Trend 3:14:10 “sir, this is a casino” 3:17:00 GME Charts 3:19:25 Pullbacks [lets you see how strong the move is] 3:21:00 “You don’t want to overthink 5 minute charts” 3:23:30 Discussing other Stocks -- End of Part 1 -- I’ll watch the last two hours tomorrow morning ASAP at work! I hope everyone can enjoy and maybe a few wrinkle brains can find what Roaring Kitty was referring to in their last post. Have a great night and see you all tomorrow! |
2024.05.16 07:53 Senior-Sleep8835 My chrome is acting strange
 | Hi, this is my first post. My chrome is acting weird. There are 9 profiles with numbers name pop up with out any warning or signs. Like shown, submitted by Senior-Sleep8835 to techsupport [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/pwgkozee9q0d1.png?width=997&format=png&auto=webp&s=4519c707e3a9e042c29b6169f9d0d72d82557ac9 Each of them has some browsing history 4 - 8 per account. I haven't look into though. I also deleted all of these profiles. I can't find anything like this in the internet. Any one have any idea how this could happen. Thanks in advance. |
2024.05.16 07:10 haygurlhay123 “This Time, I Will Never Let You Go”: Cloud’s Mission and the Hidden Purpose of the Remake Trilogy - Literary and Musical Analysis of FFVII - Part 1
Shortly after Final Fantasy VII hit the gaming world in 1997, Cloud Strife’s howls of grief at the loss of his beloved companion Aerith Gainsborough were echoed by droves and droves of fans. These echoes gathered in swarms, reaching the developers in the form of petition signatures, each begging the makers of the game to allow Aerith’s resurrection. Though these prayers remained unanswered —until now—, there soon came more protests: this time, fans pleaded with the developers to consider making a remake of the original game. Both of these wishes were met with considerable derision, with large chunks of the fandom calling the requests delusional— which is why the Final Fantasy world had to prepare for another meteoric hit when the Remake project was finally announced in 2015. With Kitase, Nomura, Toriyama, Nojima, Uematsu and more of the original developers at the helm, along with longtime FFVII fan-turned-developer Hamaguchi, the Remake trilogy was met with great expectations. These were nevertheless surpassed, though one aspect of the trilogy’s first entry seemed to thoroughly puzzle some and enrage others. Far and wide, the resounding questions were “What are these Whisper things?”, “Why is Cloud having visions unrelated to Nibelheim and Zack?” and “Why and how in the hell did Zack survive?”
Friends, I believe the answer lies within this post. Welcome to my literary-analysis-based theory on the Remake trilogy’s most important and most secret plot point: Cloud’s hidden mission. I want to make this fun and suspenseful to read, so I will write my analyses in the same order and manner in which I encountered them while putting my theory together. You will be reading what initially sparked my curiosity, the path I took while researching for answers, the conclusions I made every step of the way, and only then will you read my theory, after which we’ll try and apply it to the Remake trilogy so far and see if it fits! I want you to experience the rollercoaster that I did when digging through SE content to bring you this post. Thank you so much for waiting for and anticipating this analysis, and I do hope you read every word to soak in every last bit of Clerith you can get. I also hope it’s really fun and touching for you (I cried at least once making this)! Let’s embark on our adventure through the compilation, other FF games and real-life events to find out what the Remake project is truly all about and anticipate the events of part 3.
N.B.: Please be aware that I have never seen this theory navigate online, so I have no idea if anyone has ever come up with a similar hypothesis. The big reveal I’m building toward might be something you’re already aware of or suspected. In that case, I hope this post doesn’t disappoint you if you’re one of the lovely people who requested it! At the very least, it will provide you with valuable literary and musical analysis, a ton of evidence you haven’t considered yet, and hopefully, entertainment too!
WARNING: Please be careful with the censored spoiler text, because I'll be referencing other FF games in this analysis and I don't want to ruin anything for you! Obviously, this analysis contains spoilers for the entirety of the FFVII compilation. Additionally, if you're not a fan of Clerith and you've stumbled upon this post, please stop here. I would hate it if something I worked on and posted made you angry, so please don't read this analysis. I have only good intentions and I just want everyone to enjoy the FFVII world as much as they can.
I. a) Sephiroth’s Plan
The premise of the Remake trilogy is widely thought to be the result of post-OG Sephiroth attempting to succeed where he failed in OG. There are six key points we need to keep in mind to understand how this was possible.
I. a) i. Sephiroth in the Lifestream
Firstly, it’s important to remember that Sephiroth is dead and located in the Lifestream before OG even begins, and remains that way for almost all of OG's duration. He is only able to operate in the world of the living via his/Jenova's control over the living Sephiroth clones. In the OG timeline then, Sephiroth is sent to the Lifestream by Cloud twice: once before the game takes place on the night of the Nibelheim incident (pre-OG), and a second time during the final battle against Sephiroth (disk 3, chapter 3). During the long period between the Nibelheim incident and Sephiroth’s rebirth at the Northern Crater (disk 2, chapter 2), he exists in the Lifestream. After his ultimate defeat (post-OG), he returns there for good.
II. a) ii. Sephiroth Unintegrated
Secondly, because he is full of hatred and unyielding determination, Sephiroth’s spirit cannot become one with the planet. After both occasions where Cloud kills him in OG, Sephiroth retains his individual will and the memories of his lifetime, remaining a separate entity in the Lifestream. He says so himself in Nojima’s Advent Children prequel novel On a Way to a Smile:
It is also thought that Sephiroth cannot be integrated into the Lifestream because he was conceived with the use of Jenova cells in vitro. Given that so much of his consciousness and genetic makeup originate from an alien life force, it is impossible for him to become one with the planet.
Regardless of the reason, it is precisely this persisting individuality in death that allows Sephiroth to meddle in the world of the living during the post-OG events of Advent Children, as explained to us by post-OG Aerith in On a Way to a Smile:
Our third point is that the Lifestream has existed for as long as the planet, and has therefore touched every part of its history— including, of course, the events of OG. On that account, one could think of the Lifestream as atemporal. Considering this, it is possible for a spirit in the Lifestream to communicate with or even travel to the past, provided the necessary circumstances and/or abilities. For instance, the Aerith that appears in Cloud’s resolution scene in Remake (chapter 14) is commonly considered to be a post-OG Aerith, appearing to him from the future to try and dissuade him from falling for her. This time-defying event is made possible by the fact that post-OG Aerith’s spirit has access to the atemporal Lifestream because she's deceased. In my view, this explains why she dissolves into green light (Lifestream visual cue) at the end of the resolution scene (5:19-5:45). This is not time travel per se, but it is a manner of communication unobstructed by the one-directionality of a linear timeline that only spirits can perform.
I. a) iv. Sephiroth Beyond Time
What we’ve covered so far amounts to our fourth point. Please familiarize yourself with the graph below before you continue reading. Refer back to the graph when you encounter text in bold.
The Remake Timelines Theory: FFVII OG Timeline
As we discussed in section “I. a) i.”, Sephiroth is dead and located in the Lifestream for the duration of the green arrow and beyond point D: in the context of the OG timeline, he can only ever be considered “alive” during the period highlighted in purple. In section “I. a) ii.”, we asserted that Sephiroth retained his individual will in the Lifestream, enabling him to exert his influence on the world of the living by manipulating his clones on the surface. In section “I. a) iii.”, we covered the atemporal nature of the Lifestream, which allows post-OG Aerith’s spirit to communicate with her past, living self thanks to her Cetra abilities. Now, I will explain to you how Sephiroth was able to do virtually the same thing, albeit his lack of Cetra blood.
To the characters of the story and a fully immersed first-time player of OG, the timeline above was not always an established series of events: when they first started playing FFVII OG, the player began at point B, with nothing existing beyond it. It is only as the player moved Cloud forward that the black, arrowed timeline was drawn, accumulating lived events (or points) in Cloud’s wake. The picture you see above is only available to Cloud and to the player with hindsight. All this to state the obvious: at point B, Cloud could not know what would occur, say, at point C.
During the period highlighted in purple, Sephiroth was “alive” again, accumulating new memories on the surface of the planet and adding them to his consciousness. When he entered the Lifestream for the second time at point D, he brought these memories with him. Simply put, after returning to the Lifestream at point D, Sephiroth remembers what happened during the period highlighted in purple. However, given that the Lifestream exists beyond time, upon Sephiroth’s consciousness’ return to the Lifestream at point D, his newly acquired memories were also made available to him at all points on the green, double-arrowed line— including point A, before the OG timeline even begins at point B. So while it is true that Cloud cannot know what will occur at point C if he is only at point B, Sephiroth indeed knows what will occur during the period highlighted in purple when he is only at point A. While a living, pre-OG Aerith would be able to receive post-OG Aerith’s spirit’s knowledge through the Lifestream thanks to her Cetra powers, Sephiroth has no need for this ability. The fact that he resides in the Lifestream for practically the entire FFVII OG timeline renders the limitations of time irrelevant: as far as the FFVII OG timeline is concerned, Sephiroth exists beyond time itself.
In summary, after point D was first encountered in OG, pre-OG Sephiroth (in the Lifestream) is made aware of his eventual defeat, and begins plotting an alternate path to victory. This time, with the benefit of hindsight, he will do things differently: we experience his "second” attempt at FFVII as the Remake trilogy.
I. a) v. Sephiroth Against Fate
Of course, the Whispers stand squarely in Sephiroth’s way. This leads us to our fifth point, which Remake Ultimania describes better than I ever could:
I. a) vi. Sephiroth and the Multiverse
Consequently, our sixth point is that Sephiroth must dismantle the mechanisms of fate before he can even try to accomplish his dreams of godhood.
As Sephiroth explains in chapter 14 of Rebirth, “the planet encompasses [an ever unfolding] multitude of worlds”, and these “[new worlds are born] when the boundaries of fate are breached.” Since the Whispers uphold the “boundaries of fate”, a world in which Sephiroth’s evil plans succeed can only emerge after the Whispers have been defeated. Otherwise, destiny will continue to protect the OG plot line by preventing any significant deviations. Consequently, before the party vanquishes fate, the Remake timeline and the OG timeline are one and the same: before chapter 18, Remake Barret is OG Barret, Remake Tifa is OG Tifa, Remake Hojo is OG Hojo, etc. After the defeat of Destiny, the OG timeline is no longer protected by fate: there are now an infinite number of timelines or worlds, including those we see glimpses of in Rebirth: Remake Barret is no longer necessarily OG Barret, Remake Tifa is no longer necessarily OG Tifa, Remake Hojo is no longer necessarily OG Hojo, etc. Perhaps this is why Aerith gives the party the following warning at destiny’s crossroads in Remake:
Now that these six points have been elucidated, we can compose a solid hypothesis on how Sephiroth plots to win FFVII.
After gaining knowledge of his eventual demise (disk 3, chapter 3), pre-OG Sephiroth began thinking of what he must do in Remake from the Lifestream. First, Sephiroth must antagonize the Whispers in the initial stages of the OG timeline. He accomplishes this by commanding his clones to commit acts that drastically violate the fated timeline, engendering plot-line deviations that the Whispers must course-correct. The most extreme example transpires in Remake’s chapter 17 when the Sephiroth clone in President Shinra’s office kills Barret, forcing the Whispers to restore the fated plot line by coming forth and reviving him. The Whispers react to Sephiroth’s prodding by rushing in to protect fate, their efforts culminating in the protective wall of destiny that surrounds Midgar in chapter 18.
Secondly, after he’s created an opportunity for a battle against the Whispers, Sephiroth must convince the party to seize it and beat fate for him. After all, a mere Sephiroth clone is probably no match for Destiny. This second step is accomplished in Remake’s chapter 18 when Sephiroth successfully tempts Cloud to breach the boundaries of fate. Now that destiny is no longer a limitation, worlds deviating from the OG timeline can finally emerge; Sephiroth has a chance at victory.
The steps Sephiroth plans to take going forward are unknowable at this stage, but we do get more hints in Rebirth’s chapter 13. At the Temple of the Ancients, Sephiroth reveals a part of his plot:
I. b) Aerith’s Intervention
But Aerith can’t let this slide unchallenged!
We know that before chapter 18 of Remake, while the OG plot-line is still protected by fate, Aerith has knowledge of its future. This is insinuated by certain slips of the tongue: for instance, when Aerith reveals she knows Cloud is a mercenary upon meeting him for the second time in chapter 8, just like she knows Tifa will ask her to retrieve Marlene at Seventh Heaven in chapter 12. In the run-up to Remake, post-OG Aerith's spirit likely sensed Sephiroth planning his second try at FFVII in the Lifestream. She’s been able to anticipate Sephiroth’s plotting in the Lifestream before, namely in the context of Advent Children:
Be that as it may, it’s unclear how much Remake Aerith is aware of. You would think she’d be completely opposed to defeating, destiny since it protects the planet, but Aerith shows ambivalence toward the idea instead. Had she gotten a clear message from her future self that she must keep fate intact, she would not have allowed the party to enter the battle against fate in chapter 18. She doesn’t seem to know what the Whispers are the first time she encounters them either. Regardless, what’s important is that the Aerith seen in Remake is the result of pre-OG Aerith receiving knowledge from post-OG Aerith via the Lifestream.
I. c) Ambiguity: Memory Transfer or Time-Travel?
There remains an ambiguity pertaining to the Aerith we see in Remake and the question of time travel. What I’ve described to you in section “I. b)” is post-OG Aerith's spirit transferring her memories to her past self through the Lifestream. However, it’s possible that post-OG Aerith’s consciousness used the atemporal nature of the Lifestream to inhabit her living OG body instead, effectively time-traveling. There is no evidence to outright refute either explanation, since the gaps in Aerith’s memories of the OG plot-line in Remake can be explained in both cases. For instance, in a memory transfer scenario, it’s possible that post-OG Aerith only communicated the most essential information to pre-OG Aerith. On the other hand, in a time-travel scenario, one could interpret the following quotes as proof that the Whispers are progressively erasing Aerith’s memories of OG as Remake advances:
The specifics don’t matter nearly as much as I’m impressing upon you by explaining all these little alternatives. Simply keep in mind that: regardless of why, the Sephiroth and Aerith we see in Remake know the events of the OG game because they have acquired this knowledge from the future, and the events of Remake occur squarely within the OG timeline until the Whispers are defeated in chapter 18.
So there! That’s my iteration of the Remake Timelines Theory! I hope I’ve made it clear in your mind, or at least clearer. Now that we’ve established the widely theorized premise of the Remake trilogy, we can get into our theory on its hidden premise.
II. My Initial Curiosity
My theory first burgeoned upon going through Remake for the second time. I noticed something strange going on with Cloud, something that could not be explained by the Remake Timelines Theory. Key moments in Remake Cloud’s experience of the OG timeline (aka, everything before chapter 18) stuck out to me as strange and mysterious, and certain inexplicable audiovisual cues struck me as hugely significant. It was upon watching the tear fall from Cloud’s eye during my second go at chapter 8 that I knew I had to look into this.
At the very end of Remake’s chapter 8, Cloud watches Aerith walk away from him, humming happily into the night air as she sets off to lead the way to Sector 7. According to the VA script notes, “his heart skips a beat” and watching her walk away provokes a sudden “anxiety” within him. Triggered by the familiarity of the sight, a strange sensation overcomes Cloud:
Many players immediately recognized the composition of this scene: the blue-greenish air, the straight path Aerith heads down, the sight of her walking away itself… this moment closely resembles Cloud’s Sleeping Forest dream of Aerith in OG, wherein Cloud and Aerith’s very last words are exchanged (disk 1, chapter 25). Toriyama, codirector of the Remake project, comments on this scene thusly:
Cloud experiences a few moments like these throughout the game. These pseudo-premonitions are just as markedly exclusive to Remake as the Whispers are. I did not want to dismiss them as a foreshadowing device the devs included just to elicit emotional reactions from OG players; I felt they were more important. And thus began my digging! My mission was initially to figure out what these “[memories of the future]” (MOTFs) could signify… I had no clue it would turn into what I’m writing right now.
II. a) Each MOTF and Its Context
I began by finding every one of Cloud’s MOTFs so I could better understand them.
MOTF 1 occurs in chapter 2 on Sector 8’s Loveless Street, when Cloud sees Aerith struggling against the Whispers. The VA script notes reveal that even though this is only his first time seeing her, Cloud recognizes Aerith’s face:
MOTF 2 occurs in chapter 3, at the plaza in front of the Sector 7 slums support pillar. Cloud experiences a MOTF of the plate falling, which is fated to occur at a much later point in chapter 12. The Whispers float near him, “watching Cloud alertly as he sees a vision of the future” (FFVII Remake Ultimania, section 08 “Secrets”, “Newly Arisen Mysteries”, “What Is the Goal of the Elusive Whispers?”, page 733).
MOTF 3 occurs in Aerith’s church at the start of chapter 8, when Aerith mentions that her mother’s materia is “not good for anything at all”. Triggered by the mention and sight of the White Materia, Cloud’s fourth MOTF takes the form of a vision: he sees quick flashes of the materia falling into the lake of the Forgotten Capital and Aerith holding her hands together in prayer. These are evidently visions of her death in OG (disk 1, chapter 28).
MOTF 4 is the one we first discussed, occurring at the very end of chapter 8 as Cloud watches Aerith walk away from him to lead the way toward Sector 7.
MOTF 5 occurs in chapter 13 shortly after the Sector 7 plate has fallen on the slums. Cloud tells Barret that Marlene is safe at Aerith’s house, and they begin heading there. As Cloud thinks about Aerith, the VA script notes describe the very next moment as follows:
Contrary to Sephiroth’s words, this is the first time in Remake that Cloud “[fails] to protect [Aerith]”, and he hasn’t “[lost]” her either— not yet, at least. So why use the words "again" and "loss"? This fifth MOTF must be similar to MOTF 1, in that Sephiroth is referring to Cloud’s guilt surrounding Aerith’s death in OG.
MOTF 6 occurs in chapter 17, in Aerith and Ifalna’s old room at Shinra HQ. The Whispers swarm Aerith as she tells the party earnestly that she wants to do everything in her power to help her friends and the planet: according to the script notes, it is at this very moment that, “for some reason, Cloud feels his chest constrict tightly” (FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “Aerith Speaks”). In the corresponding cutscene, this unpleasant physiological reaction to Aerith’s words makes Cloud glance down at his chest with a confounded frown. This physical response to her speech about wanting to fulfill her duty to the planet implies that Cloud somehow knows deep down that saving the world will cost Aerith her life.
At this point, I noticed that five out of the six MOTFs Cloud experiences in Remake are triggered by and/or revolve around Aerith specifically, the one exception being a MOTF of the Sector 7 plate fall. One could actually argue that this MOTF revolves around Aerith too, considering the plate fall marks the first time Aerith is taken away from Cloud since reuniting with her in the Sector 5 slums church. This is more than plausible, as MOTF 5 proves that in the wake of the Sector 7 plate fall, Cloud’s main concern is Aerith (see section “II. a)”). How fitting is it, then, that the merc of few words’ longest uninterrupted piece of dialogue in all of Remake is:
At this juncture in my research, my questions were only stacking up. What are these MOTFs? Why is Cloud the only one experiencing them? Why do all of them implicate Aerith? What did the devs hope to accomplish with their inclusion in the game? What do they mean for Remake’s story? But most importantly:
II. b) What Does Cloud Know?
The first assertion we have to make is simple, yet essential: the only reason Cloud would experience MOTFs is that whatever’s triggered them is significant to him in one way or another. Some part of him must recognize his triggers for them to be triggers at all. It’s clear he doesn’t consciously understand the meaning of his MOTF triggers, just like his Jenova triggers: for example, Cloud doesn’t know why Zack’s name causes him to experience psychic interference, but it sure does. We as players know Cloud’s MOTFs are hinting at Aerith’s fated death because of our awareness of OG, but as a character navigating the OG timeline, Remake Cloud shouldn't even be unconsciously aware of Aerith’s eventual death in the slightest! Whatever the nature of the MOTFs, it’s essential to understand that if Cloud “[recognizes]” Aerith’s face the first time he sees her, it must mean some part of him knows Aerith’s face in the first place. If this recognition triggers a hallucination of Sephiroth telling Cloud he “can’t protect anyone”, it must mean some part of him knows he was once unable to protect Aerith. The same goes for every other MOTF: subconsciously, Remake Cloud somehow has memories of the OG timeline. Most interestingly, it looks like he either only has OG memories related to Aerith, or like his OG memories of Aerith are simply the only ones prominent enough to trigger his MOTFs. Why and how does Remake Cloud have memories of OG, and why are they so focused on Aerith in particular? What does he know?
When examining a situation with no explanation, it’s wise to examine similar situations that have already been explained. Maybe the mystery of Remake Cloud’s MOTFs will become more approachable if we consider the cases of the only other Remake characters who seem to know the future: Aerith and Sephiroth. Remake Sephiroth knows the future of the OG timeline because his consciousness exists beyond time in the Lifestream, while Remake Aerith likely obtained her knowledge of the future from post-OG Aerith’s spirit via the Lifestream. But what about Cloud? Where does his weaker, fragmented knowledge come from?
(continued in part 2)
submitted by haygurlhay123 to cloudxaerith [link] [comments]
Friends, I believe the answer lies within this post. Welcome to my literary-analysis-based theory on the Remake trilogy’s most important and most secret plot point: Cloud’s hidden mission. I want to make this fun and suspenseful to read, so I will write my analyses in the same order and manner in which I encountered them while putting my theory together. You will be reading what initially sparked my curiosity, the path I took while researching for answers, the conclusions I made every step of the way, and only then will you read my theory, after which we’ll try and apply it to the Remake trilogy so far and see if it fits! I want you to experience the rollercoaster that I did when digging through SE content to bring you this post. Thank you so much for waiting for and anticipating this analysis, and I do hope you read every word to soak in every last bit of Clerith you can get. I also hope it’s really fun and touching for you (I cried at least once making this)! Let’s embark on our adventure through the compilation, other FF games and real-life events to find out what the Remake project is truly all about and anticipate the events of part 3.
N.B.: Please be aware that I have never seen this theory navigate online, so I have no idea if anyone has ever come up with a similar hypothesis. The big reveal I’m building toward might be something you’re already aware of or suspected. In that case, I hope this post doesn’t disappoint you if you’re one of the lovely people who requested it! At the very least, it will provide you with valuable literary and musical analysis, a ton of evidence you haven’t considered yet, and hopefully, entertainment too!
WARNING: Please be careful with the censored spoiler text, because I'll be referencing other FF games in this analysis and I don't want to ruin anything for you! Obviously, this analysis contains spoilers for the entirety of the FFVII compilation. Additionally, if you're not a fan of Clerith and you've stumbled upon this post, please stop here. I would hate it if something I worked on and posted made you angry, so please don't read this analysis. I have only good intentions and I just want everyone to enjoy the FFVII world as much as they can.
I. Groundwork: The Remake Timelines Theory
Before I take you on this ride, we must lay down the framework of the Remake Timelines Theory. In this section, we’ll be reviewing the general consensus of theorizers within the fandom on timeline/multiverse shenanigans, with some added specifications on my part. Please keep in mind that because the timeline mechanics are kept quite vague by the devs, there might be certain inaccuracies in my iteration of the timelines theory. Thankfully, these potential variances won’t have any effect on the legitimacy of the theory I’ll be presenting to you in this analysis.I. a) Sephiroth’s Plan
The premise of the Remake trilogy is widely thought to be the result of post-OG Sephiroth attempting to succeed where he failed in OG. There are six key points we need to keep in mind to understand how this was possible.
I. a) i. Sephiroth in the Lifestream
Firstly, it’s important to remember that Sephiroth is dead and located in the Lifestream before OG even begins, and remains that way for almost all of OG's duration. He is only able to operate in the world of the living via his/Jenova's control over the living Sephiroth clones. In the OG timeline then, Sephiroth is sent to the Lifestream by Cloud twice: once before the game takes place on the night of the Nibelheim incident (pre-OG), and a second time during the final battle against Sephiroth (disk 3, chapter 3). During the long period between the Nibelheim incident and Sephiroth’s rebirth at the Northern Crater (disk 2, chapter 2), he exists in the Lifestream. After his ultimate defeat (post-OG), he returns there for good.
II. a) ii. Sephiroth Unintegrated
Secondly, because he is full of hatred and unyielding determination, Sephiroth’s spirit cannot become one with the planet. After both occasions where Cloud kills him in OG, Sephiroth retains his individual will and the memories of his lifetime, remaining a separate entity in the Lifestream. He says so himself in Nojima’s Advent Children prequel novel On a Way to a Smile:
“[Sephiroth] could sense the Lifestream trying to erode his spirit— the memories of his former experiences, thoughts and emotions. If he allowed himself to be taken into the current, the being he once was would soon disseminate and disappear amongst the spirit energy cycling around the planet. [He] thought this unacceptable. The planet was to be his to rule, and to become a part of that system would be nothing short of defeat” ("Lifestream Black 1").Combined with Bugenhagen’s basic lesson on planetology (FFVII OG, disk 1, chapter 19), this excerpt provides interesting information on how the Lifestream normally works. Usually, when a life returns to the planet, its individuality (personality, will, consciousness, memories, etc.) is stripped away. The trappings of a soul’s former lifetime are progressively dissolved so that all that is left is the spirit itself, ready to integrate into the Lifestream. This way, soul energy can be “recycled” by the planet to animate new lifeforms in a sort of reincarnation process. The erasure of one’s memories in the Lifestream is necessary for the creation of a brand new life, poised to make its own memories: the slate must be wiped clean, so to speak. Sephiroth’s sheer hatred for and desire to dominate the planet is enough to keep him from undergoing this process.
It is also thought that Sephiroth cannot be integrated into the Lifestream because he was conceived with the use of Jenova cells in vitro. Given that so much of his consciousness and genetic makeup originate from an alien life force, it is impossible for him to become one with the planet.
Regardless of the reason, it is precisely this persisting individuality in death that allows Sephiroth to meddle in the world of the living during the post-OG events of Advent Children, as explained to us by post-OG Aerith in On a Way to a Smile:
“[Aerith] had sensed a different presence within the Lifestream cycling around the planet. It was the vehemence of a strong will, one that would never join with the planet. She knew this consciousness. It was [Sephiroth]. A merciless spirit hidden behind a beauteous wall. That spirit was now operating from within the Lifestream. [She] sensed that he was planning to exert his influence to the surface of the planet“ ("Lifestream White 1").I. a) iii. The Lifestream Beyond Time
Our third point is that the Lifestream has existed for as long as the planet, and has therefore touched every part of its history— including, of course, the events of OG. On that account, one could think of the Lifestream as atemporal. Considering this, it is possible for a spirit in the Lifestream to communicate with or even travel to the past, provided the necessary circumstances and/or abilities. For instance, the Aerith that appears in Cloud’s resolution scene in Remake (chapter 14) is commonly considered to be a post-OG Aerith, appearing to him from the future to try and dissuade him from falling for her. This time-defying event is made possible by the fact that post-OG Aerith’s spirit has access to the atemporal Lifestream because she's deceased. In my view, this explains why she dissolves into green light (Lifestream visual cue) at the end of the resolution scene (5:19-5:45). This is not time travel per se, but it is a manner of communication unobstructed by the one-directionality of a linear timeline that only spirits can perform.
I. a) iv. Sephiroth Beyond Time
What we’ve covered so far amounts to our fourth point. Please familiarize yourself with the graph below before you continue reading. Refer back to the graph when you encounter text in bold.
The Remake Timelines Theory: FFVII OG Timeline
As we discussed in section “I. a) i.”, Sephiroth is dead and located in the Lifestream for the duration of the green arrow and beyond point D: in the context of the OG timeline, he can only ever be considered “alive” during the period highlighted in purple. In section “I. a) ii.”, we asserted that Sephiroth retained his individual will in the Lifestream, enabling him to exert his influence on the world of the living by manipulating his clones on the surface. In section “I. a) iii.”, we covered the atemporal nature of the Lifestream, which allows post-OG Aerith’s spirit to communicate with her past, living self thanks to her Cetra abilities. Now, I will explain to you how Sephiroth was able to do virtually the same thing, albeit his lack of Cetra blood.
To the characters of the story and a fully immersed first-time player of OG, the timeline above was not always an established series of events: when they first started playing FFVII OG, the player began at point B, with nothing existing beyond it. It is only as the player moved Cloud forward that the black, arrowed timeline was drawn, accumulating lived events (or points) in Cloud’s wake. The picture you see above is only available to Cloud and to the player with hindsight. All this to state the obvious: at point B, Cloud could not know what would occur, say, at point C.
During the period highlighted in purple, Sephiroth was “alive” again, accumulating new memories on the surface of the planet and adding them to his consciousness. When he entered the Lifestream for the second time at point D, he brought these memories with him. Simply put, after returning to the Lifestream at point D, Sephiroth remembers what happened during the period highlighted in purple. However, given that the Lifestream exists beyond time, upon Sephiroth’s consciousness’ return to the Lifestream at point D, his newly acquired memories were also made available to him at all points on the green, double-arrowed line— including point A, before the OG timeline even begins at point B. So while it is true that Cloud cannot know what will occur at point C if he is only at point B, Sephiroth indeed knows what will occur during the period highlighted in purple when he is only at point A. While a living, pre-OG Aerith would be able to receive post-OG Aerith’s spirit’s knowledge through the Lifestream thanks to her Cetra powers, Sephiroth has no need for this ability. The fact that he resides in the Lifestream for practically the entire FFVII OG timeline renders the limitations of time irrelevant: as far as the FFVII OG timeline is concerned, Sephiroth exists beyond time itself.
In summary, after point D was first encountered in OG, pre-OG Sephiroth (in the Lifestream) is made aware of his eventual defeat, and begins plotting an alternate path to victory. This time, with the benefit of hindsight, he will do things differently: we experience his "second” attempt at FFVII as the Remake trilogy.
I. a) v. Sephiroth Against Fate
Of course, the Whispers stand squarely in Sephiroth’s way. This leads us to our fifth point, which Remake Ultimania describes better than I ever could:
“According to Red XIII, who gained knowledge through his contact with Aerith, ‘The Whispers are drawn to those who attempt to alter destiny’s course and ensure they do not’ […]. It would appear that what the Whispers deem to be ‘fate’ is the original story of Final Fantasy VII” (section 08 “Secrets”, “Newly Arisen Mysteries”, “What Is the Goal of the Elusive Whispers?”, page 733).OG’s plot line is the fated timeline, and the Whispers are tasked with its preservation. They prevent alternative paths from even beginning to branch out from the OG timeline, which poses a problem for Sephiroth: he cannot win FFVII if his destiny is to lose it.
I. a) vi. Sephiroth and the Multiverse
Consequently, our sixth point is that Sephiroth must dismantle the mechanisms of fate before he can even try to accomplish his dreams of godhood.
As Sephiroth explains in chapter 14 of Rebirth, “the planet encompasses [an ever unfolding] multitude of worlds”, and these “[new worlds are born] when the boundaries of fate are breached.” Since the Whispers uphold the “boundaries of fate”, a world in which Sephiroth’s evil plans succeed can only emerge after the Whispers have been defeated. Otherwise, destiny will continue to protect the OG plot line by preventing any significant deviations. Consequently, before the party vanquishes fate, the Remake timeline and the OG timeline are one and the same: before chapter 18, Remake Barret is OG Barret, Remake Tifa is OG Tifa, Remake Hojo is OG Hojo, etc. After the defeat of Destiny, the OG timeline is no longer protected by fate: there are now an infinite number of timelines or worlds, including those we see glimpses of in Rebirth: Remake Barret is no longer necessarily OG Barret, Remake Tifa is no longer necessarily OG Tifa, Remake Hojo is no longer necessarily OG Hojo, etc. Perhaps this is why Aerith gives the party the following warning at destiny’s crossroads in Remake:
“[This] is the wall of destiny. If we go through it… if we go beyond it… then all of us will change, too” (FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “Destiny’s Crossroads”).I. a) vii. Sephiroth’s Plan
Now that these six points have been elucidated, we can compose a solid hypothesis on how Sephiroth plots to win FFVII.
After gaining knowledge of his eventual demise (disk 3, chapter 3), pre-OG Sephiroth began thinking of what he must do in Remake from the Lifestream. First, Sephiroth must antagonize the Whispers in the initial stages of the OG timeline. He accomplishes this by commanding his clones to commit acts that drastically violate the fated timeline, engendering plot-line deviations that the Whispers must course-correct. The most extreme example transpires in Remake’s chapter 17 when the Sephiroth clone in President Shinra’s office kills Barret, forcing the Whispers to restore the fated plot line by coming forth and reviving him. The Whispers react to Sephiroth’s prodding by rushing in to protect fate, their efforts culminating in the protective wall of destiny that surrounds Midgar in chapter 18.
Secondly, after he’s created an opportunity for a battle against the Whispers, Sephiroth must convince the party to seize it and beat fate for him. After all, a mere Sephiroth clone is probably no match for Destiny. This second step is accomplished in Remake’s chapter 18 when Sephiroth successfully tempts Cloud to breach the boundaries of fate. Now that destiny is no longer a limitation, worlds deviating from the OG timeline can finally emerge; Sephiroth has a chance at victory.
The steps Sephiroth plans to take going forward are unknowable at this stage, but we do get more hints in Rebirth’s chapter 13. At the Temple of the Ancients, Sephiroth reveals a part of his plot:
“Sephiroth: My fragmented mother, these errant worlds... All shall be one again.It seems Sephiroth eventually plans to merge the worlds created by destiny’s defeat in Remake’s chapter 18. My guess is he hopes to achieve godhood in part 3 and consolidate all diverting worlds into a single timeline protected by destiny once more— only this time, his victory will replace the ending of OG as the destined outcome. If he succeeds, Sephiroth’s Black Whispers will likely replace the planet’s Whispers as the arbiters of his desired fate.
Aerith: The ‘Reunion’…!”
I. b) Aerith’s Intervention
But Aerith can’t let this slide unchallenged!
We know that before chapter 18 of Remake, while the OG plot-line is still protected by fate, Aerith has knowledge of its future. This is insinuated by certain slips of the tongue: for instance, when Aerith reveals she knows Cloud is a mercenary upon meeting him for the second time in chapter 8, just like she knows Tifa will ask her to retrieve Marlene at Seventh Heaven in chapter 12. In the run-up to Remake, post-OG Aerith's spirit likely sensed Sephiroth planning his second try at FFVII in the Lifestream. She’s been able to anticipate Sephiroth’s plotting in the Lifestream before, namely in the context of Advent Children:
“[Aerith] had sensed a different presence within the Lifestream cycling around the planet […]. It was [Sephiroth] […]. That spirit was now operating from within the Lifestream. [She] sensed that he was planning to exert his influence [on] the surface of the planet” (On a Way to a Smile, "Lifestream White 1").If you’re wondering how Aerith was able to maintain her individuality in the Lifestream like Sephiroth, On a Way to a Smile provides the following explanation:
“[Aerith] was an Ancient, which explained how she was able to maintain her individuality even within the Lifestream. If she so wished she could become part of the planet at any time, but [she] thought it too early for that just yet” ("Lifestream White 1").It is thought that, as a countermeasure to Sephiroth's scheming, post-OG Aerith’s spirit used the atemporal nature of the Lifestream to inform her past, living self (pre-OG Aerith) of this new threat to the planet. Because the Cetra can commune with spirits, pre-OG Aerith would have been able to receive post-OG Aerith’s message from the Lifestream without a problem. Essentially, pre-OG Aerith received post-OG Aerith’s memories of the fated OG timeline. As a consequence, pre-OG Aerith embarks on the OG timeline with knowledge of the fated future that demands she give her life: the player experiences this version of her in Remake.
Be that as it may, it’s unclear how much Remake Aerith is aware of. You would think she’d be completely opposed to defeating, destiny since it protects the planet, but Aerith shows ambivalence toward the idea instead. Had she gotten a clear message from her future self that she must keep fate intact, she would not have allowed the party to enter the battle against fate in chapter 18. She doesn’t seem to know what the Whispers are the first time she encounters them either. Regardless, what’s important is that the Aerith seen in Remake is the result of pre-OG Aerith receiving knowledge from post-OG Aerith via the Lifestream.
I. c) Ambiguity: Memory Transfer or Time-Travel?
There remains an ambiguity pertaining to the Aerith we see in Remake and the question of time travel. What I’ve described to you in section “I. b)” is post-OG Aerith's spirit transferring her memories to her past self through the Lifestream. However, it’s possible that post-OG Aerith’s consciousness used the atemporal nature of the Lifestream to inhabit her living OG body instead, effectively time-traveling. There is no evidence to outright refute either explanation, since the gaps in Aerith’s memories of the OG plot-line in Remake can be explained in both cases. For instance, in a memory transfer scenario, it’s possible that post-OG Aerith only communicated the most essential information to pre-OG Aerith. On the other hand, in a time-travel scenario, one could interpret the following quotes as proof that the Whispers are progressively erasing Aerith’s memories of OG as Remake advances:
“Aerith: Every time the Whispers touch me, a piece of me falls away” (FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “Aerith Speaks”)&
“At any rate, Aerith is perplexed at how, like a flower being scattered, something inside is being taken away by the Whispers and lost to her” (Toriyama in FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “Aerith Speaks”, “Scenario Staff Q&A - Answered by Motomu Toriyama”).This ambiguity is completely irrelevant to Sephiroth’s situation in Remake, as we established in section “I. a) iv.”.
The specifics don’t matter nearly as much as I’m impressing upon you by explaining all these little alternatives. Simply keep in mind that: regardless of why, the Sephiroth and Aerith we see in Remake know the events of the OG game because they have acquired this knowledge from the future, and the events of Remake occur squarely within the OG timeline until the Whispers are defeated in chapter 18.
So there! That’s my iteration of the Remake Timelines Theory! I hope I’ve made it clear in your mind, or at least clearer. Now that we’ve established the widely theorized premise of the Remake trilogy, we can get into our theory on its hidden premise.
II. My Initial Curiosity
My theory first burgeoned upon going through Remake for the second time. I noticed something strange going on with Cloud, something that could not be explained by the Remake Timelines Theory. Key moments in Remake Cloud’s experience of the OG timeline (aka, everything before chapter 18) stuck out to me as strange and mysterious, and certain inexplicable audiovisual cues struck me as hugely significant. It was upon watching the tear fall from Cloud’s eye during my second go at chapter 8 that I knew I had to look into this.
At the very end of Remake’s chapter 8, Cloud watches Aerith walk away from him, humming happily into the night air as she sets off to lead the way to Sector 7. According to the VA script notes, “his heart skips a beat” and watching her walk away provokes a sudden “anxiety” within him. Triggered by the familiarity of the sight, a strange sensation overcomes Cloud:
“[There’s a] close-up shot of Cloud’s fingertips (they’re tingling). He presses them to his temples (his eyes are burning). A trickle of tears quickly rolls down from the eye hidden behind his hand” (FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “A Midnight Ambush”).If you’re clever, you’ll recognize these lines as a reference to the speech Cloud makes in OG following Aerith’s death at the City of the Ancients (“My fingers are tingling. My mouth is dry. My eyes are burning!”) (disk 1, chapter 28). In this small moment in chapter 8 of Remake, Cloud experiences a flash of the profound grief he is destined to feel upon Aerith’s fated death.
Many players immediately recognized the composition of this scene: the blue-greenish air, the straight path Aerith heads down, the sight of her walking away itself… this moment closely resembles Cloud’s Sleeping Forest dream of Aerith in OG, wherein Cloud and Aerith’s very last words are exchanged (disk 1, chapter 25). Toriyama, codirector of the Remake project, comments on this scene thusly:
“It’s possible these similarities […] cause a memory of the future to be called forth in Cloud” (FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “A Midnight Ambush”).The language used by Toriyama here is strange in both the English translation and the Japanese original: the term “memory of the future” makes no sense. One cannot remember things they haven’t already experienced, so why did Toriyama use the word “memory” to describe a "future" event? Couldn’t he have simply said that Remake Cloud experiences “visions of the future” rather than “[memories]”?
Cloud experiences a few moments like these throughout the game. These pseudo-premonitions are just as markedly exclusive to Remake as the Whispers are. I did not want to dismiss them as a foreshadowing device the devs included just to elicit emotional reactions from OG players; I felt they were more important. And thus began my digging! My mission was initially to figure out what these “[memories of the future]” (MOTFs) could signify… I had no clue it would turn into what I’m writing right now.
II. a) Each MOTF and Its Context
I began by finding every one of Cloud’s MOTFs so I could better understand them.
MOTF 1 occurs in chapter 2 on Sector 8’s Loveless Street, when Cloud sees Aerith struggling against the Whispers. The VA script notes reveal that even though this is only his first time seeing her, Cloud recognizes Aerith’s face:
“Recognizing Aerith’s face causes Cloud to experience [a hallucination]. Sephiroth is suddenly standing between him and Aerith” (FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “Encountering Aerith”).Sephiroth then taunts Cloud with words that, according to the script notes, “[live] inside of Cloud's heart”: “You can’t protect anyone. Not even yourself”. Cloud should not recognize Aerith’s face at this point in the OG timeline, nor should he associate it with not being able to protect people.
MOTF 2 occurs in chapter 3, at the plaza in front of the Sector 7 slums support pillar. Cloud experiences a MOTF of the plate falling, which is fated to occur at a much later point in chapter 12. The Whispers float near him, “watching Cloud alertly as he sees a vision of the future” (FFVII Remake Ultimania, section 08 “Secrets”, “Newly Arisen Mysteries”, “What Is the Goal of the Elusive Whispers?”, page 733).
MOTF 3 occurs in Aerith’s church at the start of chapter 8, when Aerith mentions that her mother’s materia is “not good for anything at all”. Triggered by the mention and sight of the White Materia, Cloud’s fourth MOTF takes the form of a vision: he sees quick flashes of the materia falling into the lake of the Forgotten Capital and Aerith holding her hands together in prayer. These are evidently visions of her death in OG (disk 1, chapter 28).
MOTF 4 is the one we first discussed, occurring at the very end of chapter 8 as Cloud watches Aerith walk away from him to lead the way toward Sector 7.
MOTF 5 occurs in chapter 13 shortly after the Sector 7 plate has fallen on the slums. Cloud tells Barret that Marlene is safe at Aerith’s house, and they begin heading there. As Cloud thinks about Aerith, the VA script notes describe the very next moment as follows:
“Cloud: Tifa, you know anything about the Ancients?*Sephiroth does not use a gendered pronoun here, because the grammatical structure of the original Japanese sentence doesn’t necessitate it. I've seen some debate as to whether the proper translation is “her” (Aerith, who’s just been kidnapped), or “them” (Jessie, Biggs or Wedge, who have seemingly just died). I believe Sephiroth was referring to Aerith for a few reasons. First, Cloud’s hallucinations of Sephiroth always appear as a response to whatever he is perceiving or thinking about at the moment. At this point in the scene, Cloud has been thinking and talking about Aerith for some time, and not about Jessie, Biggs or Wedge. The Sephiroth hallucination must therefore be referring to “her” rather than to “them”. Secondly, Cloud was never tasked with “[protecting]” Avalanche, but he was in fact tasked with “[protecting]” Aerith as her bodyguard back in chapter 8: it makes far more sense for Sephiroth to be referring to Aerith when he speaks about someone Cloud “failed to protect”. Finally, FFVII Remake Ultimania describes this piece of dialogue as “[Sephiroth aiming] these profound words at Cloud, who not only failed to prevent the tragedy in the Sector 7 slums but allowed Aerith to be abducted” (Sephiroth’s profile in section 01 “Character & World”, “Impressive Words”, page 29): the specific mention of Aerith here seals my decision to translate the line with the pronoun “her”.
Tifa: I’ve heard of them before, but…
Barret walks on ahead, showing little interest in the topic.
Barret: Read a book on planetology and they’re sure to come up. They’re a tribe that cultivated the planet a real long time ago. Used to talk to it. That sort of stuff.
Cloud: That must be why the Turks were after her.
[Psychic] interference starts up.
[Cloud has a] flashback of Sephiroth from five years ago, after learning of his ancestry at Shinra Manor […].
Sephiroth [(in flashback, voice tinged with madness)]: Within my veins flows the blood of the Ancients. I am the rightful heir to this planet!
The flashback ends and Cloud looks lost in thought. The interference starts up once more. Cloud makes agonized sounds. When he opens his eyes, Sephiroth is actually standing before him.
Sephiroth: You failed again— failed to protect [her]*.
Cloud is startled. He shrinks back. Tifa watches what’s happening. The other two can’t see Sephiroth. All they see is Cloud acting frightened.
Sephiroth: But loss will make you strong. […] Isn’t that what you want?
With that, Sephiroth departs.”
Contrary to Sephiroth’s words, this is the first time in Remake that Cloud “[fails] to protect [Aerith]”, and he hasn’t “[lost]” her either— not yet, at least. So why use the words "again" and "loss"? This fifth MOTF must be similar to MOTF 1, in that Sephiroth is referring to Cloud’s guilt surrounding Aerith’s death in OG.
MOTF 6 occurs in chapter 17, in Aerith and Ifalna’s old room at Shinra HQ. The Whispers swarm Aerith as she tells the party earnestly that she wants to do everything in her power to help her friends and the planet: according to the script notes, it is at this very moment that, “for some reason, Cloud feels his chest constrict tightly” (FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “Aerith Speaks”). In the corresponding cutscene, this unpleasant physiological reaction to Aerith’s words makes Cloud glance down at his chest with a confounded frown. This physical response to her speech about wanting to fulfill her duty to the planet implies that Cloud somehow knows deep down that saving the world will cost Aerith her life.
At this point, I noticed that five out of the six MOTFs Cloud experiences in Remake are triggered by and/or revolve around Aerith specifically, the one exception being a MOTF of the Sector 7 plate fall. One could actually argue that this MOTF revolves around Aerith too, considering the plate fall marks the first time Aerith is taken away from Cloud since reuniting with her in the Sector 5 slums church. This is more than plausible, as MOTF 5 proves that in the wake of the Sector 7 plate fall, Cloud’s main concern is Aerith (see section “II. a)”). How fitting is it, then, that the merc of few words’ longest uninterrupted piece of dialogue in all of Remake is:
“We found an underground Shinra lab where they've done human testing. This wasn't the first time and it won't be the last. I know these people, and I know they're never gonna let Aerith go. She's the last living Ancient on the planet. Think about what that means to Shinra's scientists. Especially to that son of a bitch Hojo. We're all just numbers and meat to him—“ (Remake, chapter 13).Cloud would’ve gone on too, had Elmyra and Tifa not stopped him.
At this juncture in my research, my questions were only stacking up. What are these MOTFs? Why is Cloud the only one experiencing them? Why do all of them implicate Aerith? What did the devs hope to accomplish with their inclusion in the game? What do they mean for Remake’s story? But most importantly:
II. b) What Does Cloud Know?
The first assertion we have to make is simple, yet essential: the only reason Cloud would experience MOTFs is that whatever’s triggered them is significant to him in one way or another. Some part of him must recognize his triggers for them to be triggers at all. It’s clear he doesn’t consciously understand the meaning of his MOTF triggers, just like his Jenova triggers: for example, Cloud doesn’t know why Zack’s name causes him to experience psychic interference, but it sure does. We as players know Cloud’s MOTFs are hinting at Aerith’s fated death because of our awareness of OG, but as a character navigating the OG timeline, Remake Cloud shouldn't even be unconsciously aware of Aerith’s eventual death in the slightest! Whatever the nature of the MOTFs, it’s essential to understand that if Cloud “[recognizes]” Aerith’s face the first time he sees her, it must mean some part of him knows Aerith’s face in the first place. If this recognition triggers a hallucination of Sephiroth telling Cloud he “can’t protect anyone”, it must mean some part of him knows he was once unable to protect Aerith. The same goes for every other MOTF: subconsciously, Remake Cloud somehow has memories of the OG timeline. Most interestingly, it looks like he either only has OG memories related to Aerith, or like his OG memories of Aerith are simply the only ones prominent enough to trigger his MOTFs. Why and how does Remake Cloud have memories of OG, and why are they so focused on Aerith in particular? What does he know?
When examining a situation with no explanation, it’s wise to examine similar situations that have already been explained. Maybe the mystery of Remake Cloud’s MOTFs will become more approachable if we consider the cases of the only other Remake characters who seem to know the future: Aerith and Sephiroth. Remake Sephiroth knows the future of the OG timeline because his consciousness exists beyond time in the Lifestream, while Remake Aerith likely obtained her knowledge of the future from post-OG Aerith’s spirit via the Lifestream. But what about Cloud? Where does his weaker, fragmented knowledge come from?
(continued in part 2)
2024.05.16 06:53 Radiant_Sector_430 Foxcatcher is underrated
Warning: Spoiler Alert.
I think this movie is underrated. First I want to say that in my opinion this movie is the best acting that Steve Carrel and Channing Tatum have ever did. They usually play same dumb characters in not very sophisticated comedy movies, but in this one they went for something completely different and the result is unexpectedly very good.
Steve Currel as a manipulative, powerful and abusive, sociopathic rich man named du Pont, and Tatum as a simple minded, trusting young man named Mark, that gradually becomes du Pont's victim, falling for his subtle psychological manipulations and sexual harassment.
In my opinion this movie manages to show how sexual predators operate, in slow, gradual, insidious ways, and the effects that they have on their victims, how their sense of self is gradually eroded, the feeling of helplessness, isolation and humiliation.
First du Pont establish a relationship of authority with Mark. He offers Mark a generous contract to come join his wrestling team, he takes care for Mark's needs, provide him a place to live in on his property. du Pont positions himself as some kind of coach and a mentor for Mark, and obviously as a very generous financial provider.
Du Pont gradually brings Mark's brother and his other wrestling friends to join the club and live on the property.
Gradually, using wrestling as disguise, du Pont starts to sexually harass Mark. Occasional fondling and groping during training, and late wrestling sessions of just two of them in the gym.
Du Pont gradually but steadily erodes Mark's sense of self, not just by sexual harassment acts, but also by psychological manipulations. Making Mark to constantly reaffirm his commitment to the club and to Du Pont personally in needless personal talks, interfering in all kind of small and trivial details of Mark's daily routine only to assert dominance and authority and just to make Mark comply.
You can see that Mark gradually becomes aware of what is going on, that he allowed himself to be drown in into Du Pont's trap. Mark feels completely helpless and isolated, too ashamed to speak out, and not knowing what to do. He feels guilty that he allowed Du Pont to take advantage of him like that, day after day, month after month. He can't even prove anything, Du Pont would simply deny any allegations. "It's just wrestling, it's all in his head"
And you see that even when Mark becomes aware of the situation, and despite being much more physically stronger, he still doesn't confront Du Pont, as the authority that Du Pont had established is still too strong to overcome. Instead Mark tries to avoid Du Pont as much as he can.
Mark starts to have rage attacks, he loses interest in wrestling, becomes secluded from other wrestling teammates, and eventually leaves the club.
The Foxcatcher reminds somewhat "Behind the Candelabra", only that in Foxcatcher the abuse and manipulations are much more explicit.
submitted by Radiant_Sector_430 to TrueFilm [link] [comments]
I think this movie is underrated. First I want to say that in my opinion this movie is the best acting that Steve Carrel and Channing Tatum have ever did. They usually play same dumb characters in not very sophisticated comedy movies, but in this one they went for something completely different and the result is unexpectedly very good.
Steve Currel as a manipulative, powerful and abusive, sociopathic rich man named du Pont, and Tatum as a simple minded, trusting young man named Mark, that gradually becomes du Pont's victim, falling for his subtle psychological manipulations and sexual harassment.
In my opinion this movie manages to show how sexual predators operate, in slow, gradual, insidious ways, and the effects that they have on their victims, how their sense of self is gradually eroded, the feeling of helplessness, isolation and humiliation.
First du Pont establish a relationship of authority with Mark. He offers Mark a generous contract to come join his wrestling team, he takes care for Mark's needs, provide him a place to live in on his property. du Pont positions himself as some kind of coach and a mentor for Mark, and obviously as a very generous financial provider.
Du Pont gradually brings Mark's brother and his other wrestling friends to join the club and live on the property.
Gradually, using wrestling as disguise, du Pont starts to sexually harass Mark. Occasional fondling and groping during training, and late wrestling sessions of just two of them in the gym.
Du Pont gradually but steadily erodes Mark's sense of self, not just by sexual harassment acts, but also by psychological manipulations. Making Mark to constantly reaffirm his commitment to the club and to Du Pont personally in needless personal talks, interfering in all kind of small and trivial details of Mark's daily routine only to assert dominance and authority and just to make Mark comply.
You can see that Mark gradually becomes aware of what is going on, that he allowed himself to be drown in into Du Pont's trap. Mark feels completely helpless and isolated, too ashamed to speak out, and not knowing what to do. He feels guilty that he allowed Du Pont to take advantage of him like that, day after day, month after month. He can't even prove anything, Du Pont would simply deny any allegations. "It's just wrestling, it's all in his head"
And you see that even when Mark becomes aware of the situation, and despite being much more physically stronger, he still doesn't confront Du Pont, as the authority that Du Pont had established is still too strong to overcome. Instead Mark tries to avoid Du Pont as much as he can.
Mark starts to have rage attacks, he loses interest in wrestling, becomes secluded from other wrestling teammates, and eventually leaves the club.
The Foxcatcher reminds somewhat "Behind the Candelabra", only that in Foxcatcher the abuse and manipulations are much more explicit.
2024.05.16 06:38 oibro13 Shill Bidding Warning ⚠️
 | Ive seen this seller for the better part of a year now and their clear shill bidding is extremely frustrating. To relist the exact same card almost immediately after the auction finishes every week is crazy. Just a warning to others that this seller is probably not giving you the right shake. Bought from them more on more than one occasion, the condition of the cards is never disclosed and they refuse to combine shipping orders by acting like they never saw the messages. submitted by oibro13 to basketballcards [link] [comments] |
2024.05.16 06:25 katana2698 I was warned
I’ve seen the numerous posts warning going back to a pwbpd. Mine broke up with me a month ago (while living with me) and went and had sex with someone and made a tinder all while sleeping next to me every night. Also while leaving me in financial ruin and mental and verbally abusing me daily, going into rages telling me the most vile things about myself such as no man will ever love me, he thought of other women every time we had sex, I was disgusting pitiful cancerous pathetic the list goes on. It was probably the most traumatic month of my life, I lost 15 pounds, have insomnia and visibly am still in shambles. He told me he thought he had bpd about 6 months ago and I started reading up on it and everything made sense. He had a traumatic childhood, in short term foster homes his entire life. I love him so much and knew that he was sick and had been through unimaginable pain. I knew he had to protect himself and was always left and I wanted him to know I would protect him always and would never leave him.
After this month of horror and dealing with someone who I didn’t recognize, after one night of raging on me I guess I said something that struck a chord finally and he broke down. He took down the mask and cried to me for hours. Telling me about how he knows he’s sick and he’s been in these cycles his entire life and ruined every relationship. He said he’d do anything to stop living like this. He said he didn’t mean anything he said that he only wanted to hurt me because he was hurt. He even told me he believes he has narcissistic traits which i definitely had thought before but thought i was being too harsh. I told him he needed to start therapy and remember this night and hold on to that clarity, that he couldn’t revert after this and be in denial. I then spent a few days writing out a letter that I read to him detailing my boundaries and that I would stick by him through whatever but that I couldn’t accept abuse or cheating.
I was so nervous to bring it to him because I thought he may not take it well and as you know we walk on eggshells with these people but I had studied up on ways to communicate with your partner with bpd and put a lot of thought into it. His response was pulling me close and telling me he loved me. I decided that I was giving him a fresh clean slate to be the best him he could be, who he wanted to be, I thought. I didn’t treat him as if he just cheated on me 2 weeks prior. We had a great week. 2 days ago I had an important exam and woke up anxious and told him. He was trying to make me feel better but I guess I didn’t respond to him in the way he wanted and he changed his tone and I asked him why he was being rude to me, this upset him so he walked outside without saying anything to leave. I followed after him which I shouldn’t have, and he told me to shut up and leave him alone. My exam was in one hour, I was crying and a mess, he tried to quickly make up for it and move past it and prepare me for my exam but I definetley failed. I let it go and didn’t let it ruin the day. Things were good but in the back of my mind I wondered did he subconsciously intentionally try to mess up a day he knew was so important to me, but I was sweet and let it go. Yesterday morning things felt off. He wasn’t as cheery as he had been the rest of the week, and left to work and didn’t message me the entire morning or afternoon. When he got home i let him know that I felt like things were off and was sad that he didn’t kiss me when he came in or talk to me throughout the day. I’m an anxious attachment style anyways and my love language is definitely touch. Besides that I was just cheated on and told by the man I love how awful I am, so despite me playing it so cool I do feel insecure and distrusting of him and when he will switch.
To make a long story short, he doesn’t take it well. I try to communicate calmly and tell him that these things don’t need to be turned into this, that he could have simply hugged me and let me know nothing was wrong and that I made it clear it was his responsibility to help reassure me through this process. He flips everything on me, somehow is the victim who isn’t enough or doesn’t do enough and says he’s done and this isn’t worth it to him. Goes to sleep, wake up at 7 leaves doesn’t say a word to me all day. Gets home at 5 and acts like nothing really happened but still no kiss or I love you and of course no recognition of what’s happened. At this point I’m so tired of the weird games. I ask him is he comfortable with this weirdness. That he could have just hugged me today and apologized and moved forward. But his pride doesn’t allow him to do that. It turned into a huge ordeal and I tried to remind him of our conversation where he had a moment of clarity, everything he told me, and it got no where. He denied everything and tried to flip it all on me. Said he thinks I’m being emotionally unstable because I just got off my birth control not because I’m being gaslit cheated on and manipulated by the man I’ve given my everything to. Took no accountability and just ends it with what’s easiest, that this isn’t gonna work. I tell him I took him back after the biggest betrayal of my life because I believed him that he was aware of his issues and that he needed to work on them and couldn’t hurt me anymore. He tells me no, he took ME back. He doesn’t live in reality and it’s honestly terrifying, for him and for me being in love with him. I’m not crying right now. I don’t even know what’s real anymore. My life just feels like a bad acid trip. Words couldn’t describe how I feel. I question if it’s rubbing off on me. I feel an incredible emptiness and confusion now from going through this manipulation and trauma. I have my second therapy appt tomorrow. I can’t make sense of anything in my life. I’ve just tried to be a good person and love him and it seems he is incapable of giving me that back. I’ve accepted that this won’t work but still feel guilt and pain that he will continue to suffer through life. I don’t want him to be alone. I wanted to be that one person that never left him. But it feels like he cannot care for me or think of me in the same capacity and sometimes that he wants to actually destroy me.
submitted by katana2698 to BPDlovedones [link] [comments]
After this month of horror and dealing with someone who I didn’t recognize, after one night of raging on me I guess I said something that struck a chord finally and he broke down. He took down the mask and cried to me for hours. Telling me about how he knows he’s sick and he’s been in these cycles his entire life and ruined every relationship. He said he’d do anything to stop living like this. He said he didn’t mean anything he said that he only wanted to hurt me because he was hurt. He even told me he believes he has narcissistic traits which i definitely had thought before but thought i was being too harsh. I told him he needed to start therapy and remember this night and hold on to that clarity, that he couldn’t revert after this and be in denial. I then spent a few days writing out a letter that I read to him detailing my boundaries and that I would stick by him through whatever but that I couldn’t accept abuse or cheating.
I was so nervous to bring it to him because I thought he may not take it well and as you know we walk on eggshells with these people but I had studied up on ways to communicate with your partner with bpd and put a lot of thought into it. His response was pulling me close and telling me he loved me. I decided that I was giving him a fresh clean slate to be the best him he could be, who he wanted to be, I thought. I didn’t treat him as if he just cheated on me 2 weeks prior. We had a great week. 2 days ago I had an important exam and woke up anxious and told him. He was trying to make me feel better but I guess I didn’t respond to him in the way he wanted and he changed his tone and I asked him why he was being rude to me, this upset him so he walked outside without saying anything to leave. I followed after him which I shouldn’t have, and he told me to shut up and leave him alone. My exam was in one hour, I was crying and a mess, he tried to quickly make up for it and move past it and prepare me for my exam but I definetley failed. I let it go and didn’t let it ruin the day. Things were good but in the back of my mind I wondered did he subconsciously intentionally try to mess up a day he knew was so important to me, but I was sweet and let it go. Yesterday morning things felt off. He wasn’t as cheery as he had been the rest of the week, and left to work and didn’t message me the entire morning or afternoon. When he got home i let him know that I felt like things were off and was sad that he didn’t kiss me when he came in or talk to me throughout the day. I’m an anxious attachment style anyways and my love language is definitely touch. Besides that I was just cheated on and told by the man I love how awful I am, so despite me playing it so cool I do feel insecure and distrusting of him and when he will switch.
To make a long story short, he doesn’t take it well. I try to communicate calmly and tell him that these things don’t need to be turned into this, that he could have simply hugged me and let me know nothing was wrong and that I made it clear it was his responsibility to help reassure me through this process. He flips everything on me, somehow is the victim who isn’t enough or doesn’t do enough and says he’s done and this isn’t worth it to him. Goes to sleep, wake up at 7 leaves doesn’t say a word to me all day. Gets home at 5 and acts like nothing really happened but still no kiss or I love you and of course no recognition of what’s happened. At this point I’m so tired of the weird games. I ask him is he comfortable with this weirdness. That he could have just hugged me today and apologized and moved forward. But his pride doesn’t allow him to do that. It turned into a huge ordeal and I tried to remind him of our conversation where he had a moment of clarity, everything he told me, and it got no where. He denied everything and tried to flip it all on me. Said he thinks I’m being emotionally unstable because I just got off my birth control not because I’m being gaslit cheated on and manipulated by the man I’ve given my everything to. Took no accountability and just ends it with what’s easiest, that this isn’t gonna work. I tell him I took him back after the biggest betrayal of my life because I believed him that he was aware of his issues and that he needed to work on them and couldn’t hurt me anymore. He tells me no, he took ME back. He doesn’t live in reality and it’s honestly terrifying, for him and for me being in love with him. I’m not crying right now. I don’t even know what’s real anymore. My life just feels like a bad acid trip. Words couldn’t describe how I feel. I question if it’s rubbing off on me. I feel an incredible emptiness and confusion now from going through this manipulation and trauma. I have my second therapy appt tomorrow. I can’t make sense of anything in my life. I’ve just tried to be a good person and love him and it seems he is incapable of giving me that back. I’ve accepted that this won’t work but still feel guilt and pain that he will continue to suffer through life. I don’t want him to be alone. I wanted to be that one person that never left him. But it feels like he cannot care for me or think of me in the same capacity and sometimes that he wants to actually destroy me.
2024.05.16 06:24 BNWODevil The BNWO Revolution (Library)
The BNWO Revolution is a series of short smut story that focus on the BNWO. The events of stories take in a place in our world in modern day, specifically in the year 2023. The only real difference is that, in America thank to the 2020 Black Lives Matter Protest. There was a social shift specifically in the dating culture, Black & Brown people are now the desire option when it comes to dating & reproduction. Nowhere is this more prevalent than in the state of Virginia. Groping, Catcalling, Public Sex, & other sexual acts are not only widely acceptable but is basically normalized (as long as it comes from a black or brown person).
Now black & brown people are on the top of social hierarchy, It’s for that reason why stuff like * Cheating * Dressing Provocatively, * Interracial Relationships, * LGBTQ, * Plastic Surgery, * Polygamy, * Sex Work, Among other sexual acts which have a history of having a negative stigma. Are not only becoming more acceptable, but in some cases are even expected or encourage. It’s pretty common at least in certain state like Virginia to see a woman on her knees giving some random black dude a blowjob. Or a black guy turning some inferior boi into a sexy trans girl for his pleasure. Of course not every state is so willing to embrace change, but it’s a working progress.
BEFORE YOU READ So a few things you should keep in mind before you start reading any of my Fantasies. * All the characters in these stories is at least 18 years of age * As mention before, unless stated otherwise the event of the stories takes place in America, in the state of Virginia, beginning in the year 2023. * These are short story, while there will be recurring characters. There isn’t an overall main character
⚠️KINKS & TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ Here is a list of kinks that you can expect to encounter in any of my fantasies. If any of these kinks on here trigger you then it’s probably in your best interest to avoid my stories. YOU’VE BEEN WANRED! * Breeding * Bullying * Feminization * Genderbend * Incest * Interracial * NTR * Revenge
submitted by BNWODevil to u/BNWODevil [link] [comments]
Now black & brown people are on the top of social hierarchy, It’s for that reason why stuff like * Cheating * Dressing Provocatively, * Interracial Relationships, * LGBTQ, * Plastic Surgery, * Polygamy, * Sex Work, Among other sexual acts which have a history of having a negative stigma. Are not only becoming more acceptable, but in some cases are even expected or encourage. It’s pretty common at least in certain state like Virginia to see a woman on her knees giving some random black dude a blowjob. Or a black guy turning some inferior boi into a sexy trans girl for his pleasure. Of course not every state is so willing to embrace change, but it’s a working progress.
BEFORE YOU READ So a few things you should keep in mind before you start reading any of my Fantasies. * All the characters in these stories is at least 18 years of age * As mention before, unless stated otherwise the event of the stories takes place in America, in the state of Virginia, beginning in the year 2023. * These are short story, while there will be recurring characters. There isn’t an overall main character
⚠️KINKS & TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ Here is a list of kinks that you can expect to encounter in any of my fantasies. If any of these kinks on here trigger you then it’s probably in your best interest to avoid my stories. YOU’VE BEEN WANRED! * Breeding * Bullying * Feminization * Genderbend * Incest * Interracial * NTR * Revenge
2024.05.16 06:07 molty_insides217 my experience
- trigger warning self harm & suicidal ideation
- I was 18 out of my home state and was at a pervious facility (a rehab for mental health as well) in tennessee before being admitted by the staff at the previous facility showing very obvious signs of sh and suicidal ideation.
- when I was being strip searched a staff member commented when she saw my boxers (i was born female but identify as nonbinary) and said "do you have a gender identity problem or something" like seriously?? you think staff would keep in mind the mental issues patients are going through before saying anything like that.
- when i got moved to the wing where most ppl are dealing with sh and si it was very intense and triggering and chaotic it caused me to sh more and more. my bed was placed outside so they could keep an eye on me so i wouldn't sh. There were so many ppl hurting themselves around me and on top of already wanting to sh it triggered me really badly. I ended up self harming and all they do after that is take you in a secluded room keep you locked in the room and if you keep "acting up" they restrain you and give you a shot to calm you down and you have to STAY THERE restrained for 4 hours straight it's literally in their rule book. the staff also talk to you like you are incompetent and you're stupid (excluding a few of the good staff members there are many i drew pictures for and thanked them for their kindness opposed to others I hate that I can't remember anyone's names bc i definitely want to acknowledge them).
2024.05.16 05:48 Chemical-Holiday-245 My dad has aids and my girlfriend fucking hates me
Hi! I apologize in advance for the long post. Trigger warnings for mentions of suicide, abuse, and eating disorders (the latter will be very mild).
I (19NB) have been with my girlfriend (20F) for about two and a half years; the relationship started out really well, both of us have prior trauma and struggle with mental health but we were kind of building off of each other for a long time. I went into it very emotionally constipated and as a horrific people pleaser; she went into it very insecure and super scared of me cheating. For the first year to year and a half it was a lot of lifting each other up, she'd reassure me that she'd listen to anything I needed and I reassured her that she would never have to worry about me cheating. There was more to it as well; at least on my side, I had a really bad eating disorder and she was the driving force for me to recover (she always reassured me that she liked my body, preferred for me to be healthy and that it didn't affect her perception of me, etc), was generally really sweet to me in the day-to-day, and was honestly everything I was looking for in a partner up until that point- I'm not someone that is attracted to people based on looks at all (either asexual spectrum or due to sexual trauma when I was a child- I'm also pretty sure I'm neurodivergent but never had the ability to get diagnosed; this will be important later) but she has been the one person I can really say I find attractive. I can think people look "cool" or "interesting" but she's genuinely so beautiful to me in a way that I've never felt for anyone else before. Personality-wise as well, she seemed perfect from the get-go- we always clicked in interactions, she'd reassure me without me asking for it and was interested in everything I had to say, etc. One big thing for me in the beginning was kind of silly but I feel like it's important for me to say; she plays games a lot, and every time we'd call each other and she'd get mad at whatever she was playing she would specifically lower her voice to talk to me. She could be halfway through yelling "what the fuck" at her computer but as soon as I said something to her she'd make herself sound as comforting as possible. This was a really big thing for me; my upbringing was very rough and both of my parents are prone to fits of anger (to the point of it getting physical very often) so I get very uncomfortable when people are visibly angry towards me. This is a big reason why I struggled with people-pleasing; as soon as someone gets upset with me I feel genuine terror, so I would try to avoid it as much as possible. I brought it up once and she said she didn't even realize she did it; the fact that she knew that about me and subconsciously made sure to try not to scare me was such a huge thing I loved about her. I was very used to people taking advantage of the fact that I was bad with boundaries, etc so having her act so comforting towards me with seemingly no ill intentions made me fall really deeply for her.
All of this changed last year- mostly in the summer but it kind of all started with her sleeping through our Valentines Day date. I couldn't even name everything she did but the main theme is that she let her insecurities get ahold of her. She would get upset with me over my clothing choices (stuff like shorts and a t-shirt in summer; it felt really reminiscent to victim blaming, like I must want sex if I wear shorts), literally just having friends, she'd snap at me all the time when she was slightly frustrated over her games (remember what I said earlier), literally anything became a reason for her to get horrifically angry at me. It was around this time that I decided to look into her prior dating history more and I learned pretty quickly that she used to be a serial cheater in different relationships (although her partners were really badly abusive and they cheated first, so I didn't think of it as a dealbreaker). She stopped reassuring me or speaking to me nicely, and also had a really big issue of doing things "back" (if I did anything that made her insecure, she'd do it 10x worse instead of talking to me about it). I mentioned having a side Reddit account once (this one) and she made a private Twitter and added all of her friends onto it except for me, and didn't tell me about it, just posted screenshots of it until I put 2 and 2 together. She also got upset after finding out that the person that groomed me is a trans girl (she's a trans girl too) and would ask me questions about whether I liked her (MY GROOMER!!!!!!!!) better. She'd do this stuff and then, when questioned about it, start agreeing with me and calling herself "undateable", etc, so I'd reassure her that she wasn't and ask her to "carry" the relationship for a bit since I thought she understood my side; by this I just meant being extra nice to me for a week or so (like when dudes get in a fight with their girlfriend and buy them flowers and talk to them more sweetly for awhile, not anything crazy), but I never really got that from her. Everything came to a head when she texted me saying she "couldn't do this anymore" and sent me a bunch of screenshots of her friendgroup telling her I was "just like her exes", "a master manipulator" etc. Their main reasons for the accusations were that I was "too secretive" (which I really don't think is true; I tend to want some baseline privacy in a relationship but she didn't even allow me that much- she'd join any public Discord servers I mentioned being in and told her I'd rather she didn't join on alts, etc, and even told me the stuff she'd find me saying wasn't bad and she was happy about it) and "accuse her of cheating too much", which.. Really. My side was honestly mostly just asking for reassurance since she completely stopped giving me it, her side was literally driving me to cut off all of my friends other than four people because I was scared she'd get upset with me again and also led to feel intense guilt for talking to. This whole thing also happened within a month of both my most recent suicide attempt (I had been going through a lot) and my parents wanting to kick me out (my mom is very mentally unwell and convinced herself that I had been prostituting myself- definitely not true to any degree. It got to the point where I had someone I decided to stay with and all my bags were packed). We didn't end up breaking up at this point.
So, fast forward to this year. She stopped doing a lot of the worse behaviors directly but we've still been fighting. My dad had been getting sicker and sicker- he already was pretty bad but he refused to see a doctor because my mom convinced him doctors are evil, the government made COVID in a lab!!!!, etc. It got to the point where he was slurring all his words, hallucinating, and unable to stand, and my mom called my out-of-state uncle who called an ambulance. I was, obviously, on my uncle's side, my mom was hysterical saying that the hospital is going to kill him and I'm with them, but my dad was stable at least. It turned out he had multiple small strokes. They did bloodwork and he's HIV+. They ended up diagnosing him with AIDs and dementia.
My relationship with my dad is very, very, very complicated. He was always the "better" parent but a horrible parent on his own. He'd agree with me in private but defend my mom whenever she was in the room, and as her mental health got worse he believed everything she told him. He used to tell me he'd leave her and take me with him, that he knew she was horrible and he never wanted her to do what she did to me, etc, but he still supported her. When things got bad between us he was a perpetrator as well. More recently he stopped trying to appeal to me at all and just entirely took her side on everything. I couldn't deal with any of it- I didn't have a room for a long, long time (I think until I was 15 or 16?) but as soon as I got one I just started locking myself in all day. I love my dad, but all he ever did was disappoint me. I couldn't bear to see him let himself get destroyed by my mom, and I just kind of decided not to- so this situation has been fucking me UP. He's currently fully conscious, my uncle flew over for a bit and had to fly back since he has kids but my dad fully took my mom's side, is refusing medications, etc. My mom and my uncle have been fighting over me constantly. I don't really want to do any of this shit but I have to, because as much as my dad let me down I don't want him to die. I was in the hospital all day and night for the first few days, I had to sleep on the benches in the emergency room waiting room since my dad was in a male room and they wouldn't allow me to stay past visiting hours. I was constantly pulling aside doctors and nurses and telling them to listen to me because my mom was trying to convince them he was just in there because he was "exhausted" or "wouldn't eat enough" and constantly lying about his condition. My uncle has good intentions but he's kind of heavy handed with certain stuff; he wants me to move in with him (I want to as well but you can imagine it's a tricky situation) and he always asks me to choose a side when they fight. My mom has been trying to convince me he's a rapist- I usually try to believe victims, but she also tried to tell me that I'm a prostitute, and she's definitely not a reliable person to listen to. I'm kind of just at an in-between where I don't believe her but I can't feel fully comfortable around him either since I have some bad past experiences surrounding that kind of thing.
About four days after my dad got hospitalized (?) and about a week and a half before my 19th birthday, my girlfriend texts me to tell me she's too exhausted to be with me anymore. The main reason was that I was constantly upset between the way the relationship was going and my dad being in the hospital. We worked something out but it's just been downhill since then, I can't be upset around her over anything without her turning it into a fight (literally while I am in the middle of crying, about how I get upset too much). As for the more recent weeks, she has completely stopped giving me ANYTHING- forget reassurance, she barely says I love you anymore, responds to long text messages with one sentence, etc. Her justification for this is that she feels unsafe with me. Her reasoning for this is:
She also told me today that I was bringing up her sexual trauma and that she's currently repulsed by the idea of sex altogether- I asked her why and she said it was because of the reasons I gave above. I'm at a loss. I'm clearly very fed up with this whole thing but I still am attached to her and love her a lot, and I definitely don't think I can go through a breakup right now with everything else going on in my life, even though you could argue it's like we already broke up. I really just don't know. It's been horrible watching her go from the perfect partner to this huge ball of insecurity and I don't know how to fix it nor how to let go. I don't have a lot of options, either- I've been almost completely socially isolated since I was a middle schooler, my parents pulled me out of public school and had me doing dual enrollment community college/homeschool. I don't have a strong support system at all, I can't get a therapist, I'm not allowed to get a job, the list just goes on and on and everything kind of just points to me being fucked
submitted by Chemical-Holiday-245 to offmychest [link] [comments]
I (19NB) have been with my girlfriend (20F) for about two and a half years; the relationship started out really well, both of us have prior trauma and struggle with mental health but we were kind of building off of each other for a long time. I went into it very emotionally constipated and as a horrific people pleaser; she went into it very insecure and super scared of me cheating. For the first year to year and a half it was a lot of lifting each other up, she'd reassure me that she'd listen to anything I needed and I reassured her that she would never have to worry about me cheating. There was more to it as well; at least on my side, I had a really bad eating disorder and she was the driving force for me to recover (she always reassured me that she liked my body, preferred for me to be healthy and that it didn't affect her perception of me, etc), was generally really sweet to me in the day-to-day, and was honestly everything I was looking for in a partner up until that point- I'm not someone that is attracted to people based on looks at all (either asexual spectrum or due to sexual trauma when I was a child- I'm also pretty sure I'm neurodivergent but never had the ability to get diagnosed; this will be important later) but she has been the one person I can really say I find attractive. I can think people look "cool" or "interesting" but she's genuinely so beautiful to me in a way that I've never felt for anyone else before. Personality-wise as well, she seemed perfect from the get-go- we always clicked in interactions, she'd reassure me without me asking for it and was interested in everything I had to say, etc. One big thing for me in the beginning was kind of silly but I feel like it's important for me to say; she plays games a lot, and every time we'd call each other and she'd get mad at whatever she was playing she would specifically lower her voice to talk to me. She could be halfway through yelling "what the fuck" at her computer but as soon as I said something to her she'd make herself sound as comforting as possible. This was a really big thing for me; my upbringing was very rough and both of my parents are prone to fits of anger (to the point of it getting physical very often) so I get very uncomfortable when people are visibly angry towards me. This is a big reason why I struggled with people-pleasing; as soon as someone gets upset with me I feel genuine terror, so I would try to avoid it as much as possible. I brought it up once and she said she didn't even realize she did it; the fact that she knew that about me and subconsciously made sure to try not to scare me was such a huge thing I loved about her. I was very used to people taking advantage of the fact that I was bad with boundaries, etc so having her act so comforting towards me with seemingly no ill intentions made me fall really deeply for her.
All of this changed last year- mostly in the summer but it kind of all started with her sleeping through our Valentines Day date. I couldn't even name everything she did but the main theme is that she let her insecurities get ahold of her. She would get upset with me over my clothing choices (stuff like shorts and a t-shirt in summer; it felt really reminiscent to victim blaming, like I must want sex if I wear shorts), literally just having friends, she'd snap at me all the time when she was slightly frustrated over her games (remember what I said earlier), literally anything became a reason for her to get horrifically angry at me. It was around this time that I decided to look into her prior dating history more and I learned pretty quickly that she used to be a serial cheater in different relationships (although her partners were really badly abusive and they cheated first, so I didn't think of it as a dealbreaker). She stopped reassuring me or speaking to me nicely, and also had a really big issue of doing things "back" (if I did anything that made her insecure, she'd do it 10x worse instead of talking to me about it). I mentioned having a side Reddit account once (this one) and she made a private Twitter and added all of her friends onto it except for me, and didn't tell me about it, just posted screenshots of it until I put 2 and 2 together. She also got upset after finding out that the person that groomed me is a trans girl (she's a trans girl too) and would ask me questions about whether I liked her (MY GROOMER!!!!!!!!) better. She'd do this stuff and then, when questioned about it, start agreeing with me and calling herself "undateable", etc, so I'd reassure her that she wasn't and ask her to "carry" the relationship for a bit since I thought she understood my side; by this I just meant being extra nice to me for a week or so (like when dudes get in a fight with their girlfriend and buy them flowers and talk to them more sweetly for awhile, not anything crazy), but I never really got that from her. Everything came to a head when she texted me saying she "couldn't do this anymore" and sent me a bunch of screenshots of her friendgroup telling her I was "just like her exes", "a master manipulator" etc. Their main reasons for the accusations were that I was "too secretive" (which I really don't think is true; I tend to want some baseline privacy in a relationship but she didn't even allow me that much- she'd join any public Discord servers I mentioned being in and told her I'd rather she didn't join on alts, etc, and even told me the stuff she'd find me saying wasn't bad and she was happy about it) and "accuse her of cheating too much", which.. Really. My side was honestly mostly just asking for reassurance since she completely stopped giving me it, her side was literally driving me to cut off all of my friends other than four people because I was scared she'd get upset with me again and also led to feel intense guilt for talking to. This whole thing also happened within a month of both my most recent suicide attempt (I had been going through a lot) and my parents wanting to kick me out (my mom is very mentally unwell and convinced herself that I had been prostituting myself- definitely not true to any degree. It got to the point where I had someone I decided to stay with and all my bags were packed). We didn't end up breaking up at this point.
So, fast forward to this year. She stopped doing a lot of the worse behaviors directly but we've still been fighting. My dad had been getting sicker and sicker- he already was pretty bad but he refused to see a doctor because my mom convinced him doctors are evil, the government made COVID in a lab!!!!, etc. It got to the point where he was slurring all his words, hallucinating, and unable to stand, and my mom called my out-of-state uncle who called an ambulance. I was, obviously, on my uncle's side, my mom was hysterical saying that the hospital is going to kill him and I'm with them, but my dad was stable at least. It turned out he had multiple small strokes. They did bloodwork and he's HIV+. They ended up diagnosing him with AIDs and dementia.
My relationship with my dad is very, very, very complicated. He was always the "better" parent but a horrible parent on his own. He'd agree with me in private but defend my mom whenever she was in the room, and as her mental health got worse he believed everything she told him. He used to tell me he'd leave her and take me with him, that he knew she was horrible and he never wanted her to do what she did to me, etc, but he still supported her. When things got bad between us he was a perpetrator as well. More recently he stopped trying to appeal to me at all and just entirely took her side on everything. I couldn't deal with any of it- I didn't have a room for a long, long time (I think until I was 15 or 16?) but as soon as I got one I just started locking myself in all day. I love my dad, but all he ever did was disappoint me. I couldn't bear to see him let himself get destroyed by my mom, and I just kind of decided not to- so this situation has been fucking me UP. He's currently fully conscious, my uncle flew over for a bit and had to fly back since he has kids but my dad fully took my mom's side, is refusing medications, etc. My mom and my uncle have been fighting over me constantly. I don't really want to do any of this shit but I have to, because as much as my dad let me down I don't want him to die. I was in the hospital all day and night for the first few days, I had to sleep on the benches in the emergency room waiting room since my dad was in a male room and they wouldn't allow me to stay past visiting hours. I was constantly pulling aside doctors and nurses and telling them to listen to me because my mom was trying to convince them he was just in there because he was "exhausted" or "wouldn't eat enough" and constantly lying about his condition. My uncle has good intentions but he's kind of heavy handed with certain stuff; he wants me to move in with him (I want to as well but you can imagine it's a tricky situation) and he always asks me to choose a side when they fight. My mom has been trying to convince me he's a rapist- I usually try to believe victims, but she also tried to tell me that I'm a prostitute, and she's definitely not a reliable person to listen to. I'm kind of just at an in-between where I don't believe her but I can't feel fully comfortable around him either since I have some bad past experiences surrounding that kind of thing.
About four days after my dad got hospitalized (?) and about a week and a half before my 19th birthday, my girlfriend texts me to tell me she's too exhausted to be with me anymore. The main reason was that I was constantly upset between the way the relationship was going and my dad being in the hospital. We worked something out but it's just been downhill since then, I can't be upset around her over anything without her turning it into a fight (literally while I am in the middle of crying, about how I get upset too much). As for the more recent weeks, she has completely stopped giving me ANYTHING- forget reassurance, she barely says I love you anymore, responds to long text messages with one sentence, etc. Her justification for this is that she feels unsafe with me. Her reasoning for this is:
- I have had a habit of liking posts that made her insecure. This is where the lack of looks-based attraction comes in. I tend to like posts without really thinking about it too much, and sometimes I like thirst traps without realizing, since I'm not someone that thirsts after people like that. If I see someone in a cool outfit dancing it's going to be hard for me to say "this is a thirst trap" because I'm not thinking about it like that, I'm just going to see it and think "wow, cool outfit" and like the post. Then she'll see it and get upset with me. This is something I've been working on and cut down to a large degree, but certain stuff gets past me (photoshoots with a set concept, etc). She has tried to tell me that I DO actually experience looks-based attraction, which is kind of crazy because I know what I experience so she can't convince me otherwise ??? I don't know. I've also told her to send me any post that I liked that makes her insecure so I can learn what I have to look out for better, but she doesn't really do that, and I can't really know what'll make her upset unless she tells me. This is also an issue that SHE HAS AS WELL
- She looked through one of my friend's followings and found a bunch of model's accounts, and says it's disrespectful that I "hang out with porn addicts". She plays Osu and is active in the community. Also has an issue with another one of my friends that I met on a Roblox bar game (she has worded it like I was literally giving out my contact at a real life bar, which I would understand being uncomfortable with, but dude it's literally Roblox). Also considers it a huge breach of trust that I mentioned getting gender envy from a Twitter mutual (I know how chronically online all of this sounds and I'm sorry). She'll ask me "isn't that a trans girl", "are they assigned male at birth" about my friends which is kind of just crazy? I don't know. I don't have a history of serially dating trans women or anything like that other than the groomer (which I don't think should count??????????) and I used to identify as lesbian for years- most of my exes are FTM and transitioned after dating me, which also shouldn't really matter??? I just think her fixation on me cheating on her with someone that's AMAB is kind of weird and unprompted
She also told me today that I was bringing up her sexual trauma and that she's currently repulsed by the idea of sex altogether- I asked her why and she said it was because of the reasons I gave above. I'm at a loss. I'm clearly very fed up with this whole thing but I still am attached to her and love her a lot, and I definitely don't think I can go through a breakup right now with everything else going on in my life, even though you could argue it's like we already broke up. I really just don't know. It's been horrible watching her go from the perfect partner to this huge ball of insecurity and I don't know how to fix it nor how to let go. I don't have a lot of options, either- I've been almost completely socially isolated since I was a middle schooler, my parents pulled me out of public school and had me doing dual enrollment community college/homeschool. I don't have a strong support system at all, I can't get a therapist, I'm not allowed to get a job, the list just goes on and on and everything kind of just points to me being fucked
2024.05.16 05:28 ReclaimerDev Boomer almost got knocked tf out for harassing my dog and my wife
I took my wife, 7mo daughter, and my dog to a local BBQ festival in our town. Tons of food stands/trucks and carnival games. All in all it was a great time.
So my dog loves attention. When we're out and about, it can be a struggle to stop her from saying hi to everyone. She was on a short leash since there were a lot of people and I don't want her to invade anyone's privacy. We understand that not everyone appreciates dogs, even if they are super friendly.
My wife was pulling our daughter in a little covered wagon. She absolutely loves it. It's got a sun cover and bug net and she can stand and look around however she wants. She always has a good time in it.
For the most part it was a great time. Kids and adults alike were curious about my dog or our baby in the wagon. They would ask questions and be respectful if we asked for space. After a while, I could tell my dog was getting a bit anxious so I just told people she wasn't feeling up to it if they asked to pet her.
Then it happened.
It was nighttime and we were heading out of the festival back to our car. It was darker, so I had my dog heeling close to my side and my wife was pushing the wagon in front of her. We're walking side by side. I heard a voice from behind me start low and get louder
"you're gonna get bit....you're gonna get bit!"
I turn around to see this old bastard reaching down to grab my dog's ass with a drunk grin on his face, his friends trying to warn him that my dog might bite him.
Here's the deal. My dog is friendly, but she doesn't like surprises. She has never bit anyone or even acted like she was going to bite. She's good at warning people when she's uncomfortable or scared. But every dog has their limit. All I could think of in that split second is my dog getting taken away from me because "someone was just joking and trying to have fun and the vicious animal attacked"
I screamed in my best no nonsense voice
"NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! YOU WILL NOT TOUCH MY DOG LIKE THAT"
Dude doesn't take his eyes off my dog who jumped ahead of me with her tail tucked and goes in for another grab. His stupid friends just watching and laughing from the back saying it again,
"I'm telling ya, you're gonna get bit!"
I swear, they probably see this shit all the time from this guy and don't even think about stopping him. Like, "I warned him not to, but this will be a good story for later"
At the same time my wife sees me turn around and puts her hand out to block this guy and she says
"Dont...seriously, she might bite you"
This stupid buzzard starts mocking my wife. "oh LOoK OUt DoG MIGHT BITe!", hands waving like something you'd see from a middle school bully.
Yall, I am steaming fucking pissed.
I'm a small guy, but this complete stranger just grabbed my dog and is mocking my wife who is walking my daughter. I see him looking at my dog again and I'm ready to elbow this drunkard right in the face with every ounce of strength my manlet body can summon. NO ONE does my family that way. Fortunately his friends caught up to him and pulled him away and allowed my wife and I to pick up the pace.
I am really glad I didn't have to get physical with this guy. I didn't want anyone to get hurt. But seriously...what the ever-loving-FUCK is wrong with these people? "I'm old so I can harass animals and young families in public?"
I swear, I was bullied a lot in school because I was so short. But...that kinda stopped when we started to grow up. It's like boomers got old and started to act like middle school kids again, but now they can get drunk and drive cars. Sometimes at the same time.
submitted by ReclaimerDev to BoomersBeingFools [link] [comments]
So my dog loves attention. When we're out and about, it can be a struggle to stop her from saying hi to everyone. She was on a short leash since there were a lot of people and I don't want her to invade anyone's privacy. We understand that not everyone appreciates dogs, even if they are super friendly.
My wife was pulling our daughter in a little covered wagon. She absolutely loves it. It's got a sun cover and bug net and she can stand and look around however she wants. She always has a good time in it.
For the most part it was a great time. Kids and adults alike were curious about my dog or our baby in the wagon. They would ask questions and be respectful if we asked for space. After a while, I could tell my dog was getting a bit anxious so I just told people she wasn't feeling up to it if they asked to pet her.
Then it happened.
It was nighttime and we were heading out of the festival back to our car. It was darker, so I had my dog heeling close to my side and my wife was pushing the wagon in front of her. We're walking side by side. I heard a voice from behind me start low and get louder
"you're gonna get bit....you're gonna get bit!"
I turn around to see this old bastard reaching down to grab my dog's ass with a drunk grin on his face, his friends trying to warn him that my dog might bite him.
Here's the deal. My dog is friendly, but she doesn't like surprises. She has never bit anyone or even acted like she was going to bite. She's good at warning people when she's uncomfortable or scared. But every dog has their limit. All I could think of in that split second is my dog getting taken away from me because "someone was just joking and trying to have fun and the vicious animal attacked"
I screamed in my best no nonsense voice
"NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! YOU WILL NOT TOUCH MY DOG LIKE THAT"
Dude doesn't take his eyes off my dog who jumped ahead of me with her tail tucked and goes in for another grab. His stupid friends just watching and laughing from the back saying it again,
"I'm telling ya, you're gonna get bit!"
I swear, they probably see this shit all the time from this guy and don't even think about stopping him. Like, "I warned him not to, but this will be a good story for later"
At the same time my wife sees me turn around and puts her hand out to block this guy and she says
"Dont...seriously, she might bite you"
This stupid buzzard starts mocking my wife. "oh LOoK OUt DoG MIGHT BITe!", hands waving like something you'd see from a middle school bully.
Yall, I am steaming fucking pissed.
I'm a small guy, but this complete stranger just grabbed my dog and is mocking my wife who is walking my daughter. I see him looking at my dog again and I'm ready to elbow this drunkard right in the face with every ounce of strength my manlet body can summon. NO ONE does my family that way. Fortunately his friends caught up to him and pulled him away and allowed my wife and I to pick up the pace.
I am really glad I didn't have to get physical with this guy. I didn't want anyone to get hurt. But seriously...what the ever-loving-FUCK is wrong with these people? "I'm old so I can harass animals and young families in public?"
I swear, I was bullied a lot in school because I was so short. But...that kinda stopped when we started to grow up. It's like boomers got old and started to act like middle school kids again, but now they can get drunk and drive cars. Sometimes at the same time.
2024.05.16 05:26 KellyfromLeedsUK STEPHEN GLOVER: Starmer's Mr Moderate act is collapsing like an overcooked soufflé. But when it comes to Labour and the unions, no one can say we weren't warned
 | submitted by KellyfromLeedsUK to BreakingNews24hr [link] [comments] |
2024.05.16 04:15 Shoddy-Plantain-6893 Getting the courage to leave/want perspective on verbal abuse
Hi, 26F here and my husband is 26M. No kids. Trigger warning for details of verbal/threats of physical abuse. We've been married since we were 22. I'm posting partly because I feel like I need solidarity/confirmation that it's as bad as it feels.
I've been reading online about abuse and I see a lot of posts about frequent, repetitive instances of abuse. My situation isn't quite like that, but rather he has now had two instances of "blowing up" where he "gets pushed over the edge" (his words, definitely reversing the blame there) and will go on for hours where he's yelling at me, calling me names, and generally demeaning and insulting me personally. It's pretty traumatic and I basically just disassociate and wait for him to be done. I never name call or yell back.
The first time it happened, it was in response to something I did. Basically I shared some details about our relationship with a friend, and he found out. He had asked me before to keep our business between him and I, so he felt very disrespected. I did later apologize for this, I can understand that not everyone needs to know our details and I am okay with respecting this ask, I just slipped up. This disrespect sent him over the edge and he spent somewhere from 1-2 hours straight yelling at me, repeatedly calling me a stupid b*tch and c*nt, and he went through in detail all the things he hates about my personality- insulting my hobbies and interests and so on. Just all around attacks on me and my character. While it was happening I had it fixed in my mind to leave, because obviously he didn't like me very much anymore and also name-calling was something I had previously set as a hard boundary. However, after things calmed down of course it's hard to walk away. He eventually apologized, reflected on his behavior and said it wouldn't happen again.
The second time it happened it was about 6 months later. This time I didn't do anything wrong per se. I had a moment of jealousy: I thought he was getting a little too friendly/flirty with another girl at the bar, and I told him my feelings were hurt about it. He denied and denied and denied, and eventually left me at the bar. I was pissed at being abandoned, and I walked home alone, and when I got home I tried to explain to him why it was so hurtful to me. At some point again something in him snapped. He let himself call me a b*tch and from there it just spirals, calling me every name possible, he tells me to go f*ck somebody new, "leave me I don't even care," and worst of all he repeatedly threatened s*ic*de. It was horrible. Again this lasted for over an hour. Oh and also this time he punched a countertop, a door, and I had been packing for a trip and he threw my open suitcase across the room and threw my clothes across the room. At one point I also got in his way and he did make physical contact with me- I don't think he was trying to hit me but ya know does it really matter lol. Also we have pets and he had no regard for what happened to them in this moment. After he fell asleep I had the pets all packed up and everything to get the heck out of there, but the threats of harm and the fear of being alone and confronting the situation stopped me. I stayed.
A few hours after that he came to me and instead of apologizing he said "there's no justification for my actions but also I wouldn't have done it if I wasn't pushed to my very breaking point" right right
Then a few days later he finally texted me and said "there's no excuse or justification for my actions. can you help me find a therapist?" I want to believe he is serious about changing but there's just so much negative stuff that I feel myself just sort of checking out.
Outside of the outright abuse, the pattern in our relationship recently is that whenever I have an issue and try to bring it up, he denies, and then attacks me in some way by saying I'm too sensitive, and then will use that as a chance to go on long monologues about all the problems I cause in the relationship and the problems I have. I've voiced this to him but he keeps doing it. So I also feel like my issues don't matter and that I'm expected to just sit pretty and be happy.
It's sort of like, though, that I see the "abuse" version of him as somebody else, not his true self, and I just let myself forget it and keep going and hope it doesn't happen again. He was abused and has other issues, and I really do just feel bad for him. Because I can see him become embarrassed with the way he acts and I can't imagine feeling that level of shame/remorse. I don't want my guy to feel that way so I tell myself if I love him through it then he doesn't have to feel that way. IDK and when I think about leaving I can't help but think about pissing off his family. I'm SO scared of what people will think of me. Can I be happy in this situation again? Can he love me and also treat me like this? Does it matter that it's only happened 2 times? I know nobody can answer these questions for me but any insight is appreciated.
submitted by Shoddy-Plantain-6893 to abusiverelationships [link] [comments]
I've been reading online about abuse and I see a lot of posts about frequent, repetitive instances of abuse. My situation isn't quite like that, but rather he has now had two instances of "blowing up" where he "gets pushed over the edge" (his words, definitely reversing the blame there) and will go on for hours where he's yelling at me, calling me names, and generally demeaning and insulting me personally. It's pretty traumatic and I basically just disassociate and wait for him to be done. I never name call or yell back.
The first time it happened, it was in response to something I did. Basically I shared some details about our relationship with a friend, and he found out. He had asked me before to keep our business between him and I, so he felt very disrespected. I did later apologize for this, I can understand that not everyone needs to know our details and I am okay with respecting this ask, I just slipped up. This disrespect sent him over the edge and he spent somewhere from 1-2 hours straight yelling at me, repeatedly calling me a stupid b*tch and c*nt, and he went through in detail all the things he hates about my personality- insulting my hobbies and interests and so on. Just all around attacks on me and my character. While it was happening I had it fixed in my mind to leave, because obviously he didn't like me very much anymore and also name-calling was something I had previously set as a hard boundary. However, after things calmed down of course it's hard to walk away. He eventually apologized, reflected on his behavior and said it wouldn't happen again.
The second time it happened it was about 6 months later. This time I didn't do anything wrong per se. I had a moment of jealousy: I thought he was getting a little too friendly/flirty with another girl at the bar, and I told him my feelings were hurt about it. He denied and denied and denied, and eventually left me at the bar. I was pissed at being abandoned, and I walked home alone, and when I got home I tried to explain to him why it was so hurtful to me. At some point again something in him snapped. He let himself call me a b*tch and from there it just spirals, calling me every name possible, he tells me to go f*ck somebody new, "leave me I don't even care," and worst of all he repeatedly threatened s*ic*de. It was horrible. Again this lasted for over an hour. Oh and also this time he punched a countertop, a door, and I had been packing for a trip and he threw my open suitcase across the room and threw my clothes across the room. At one point I also got in his way and he did make physical contact with me- I don't think he was trying to hit me but ya know does it really matter lol. Also we have pets and he had no regard for what happened to them in this moment. After he fell asleep I had the pets all packed up and everything to get the heck out of there, but the threats of harm and the fear of being alone and confronting the situation stopped me. I stayed.
A few hours after that he came to me and instead of apologizing he said "there's no justification for my actions but also I wouldn't have done it if I wasn't pushed to my very breaking point" right right
Then a few days later he finally texted me and said "there's no excuse or justification for my actions. can you help me find a therapist?" I want to believe he is serious about changing but there's just so much negative stuff that I feel myself just sort of checking out.
Outside of the outright abuse, the pattern in our relationship recently is that whenever I have an issue and try to bring it up, he denies, and then attacks me in some way by saying I'm too sensitive, and then will use that as a chance to go on long monologues about all the problems I cause in the relationship and the problems I have. I've voiced this to him but he keeps doing it. So I also feel like my issues don't matter and that I'm expected to just sit pretty and be happy.
It's sort of like, though, that I see the "abuse" version of him as somebody else, not his true self, and I just let myself forget it and keep going and hope it doesn't happen again. He was abused and has other issues, and I really do just feel bad for him. Because I can see him become embarrassed with the way he acts and I can't imagine feeling that level of shame/remorse. I don't want my guy to feel that way so I tell myself if I love him through it then he doesn't have to feel that way. IDK and when I think about leaving I can't help but think about pissing off his family. I'm SO scared of what people will think of me. Can I be happy in this situation again? Can he love me and also treat me like this? Does it matter that it's only happened 2 times? I know nobody can answer these questions for me but any insight is appreciated.
2024.05.16 04:15 AutoModerator MeetUp for 22 May, 2024 (Registration inside)
Hey Everyone,
Please read the entire message below:
LOCATION: Fleisch Delikatessen - 8210 106 Ave NW, Edmonton, AB
TIME: 6:30 - 8:30 PM every Wednesday
PATRONAGE: Please be prepared to purchase at least one beverage or food item when attending to support our hosts
REGISTRATION: Sign up for this week's MeetUp here!
READING MATERIAL: Post a link to your reading for the week in a comment below along with your first name so people can find your story when it's your turn. Make sure when you do this that you set your sharing permission for the document to "Anyone with the link" (for Google Drive) or similar options if you use OneDrive or DropBox. This way people can access your story without emailing you for permission.
RULES:
submitted by AutoModerator to WritersBlocEdmonton [link] [comments]
Please read the entire message below:
LOCATION: Fleisch Delikatessen - 8210 106 Ave NW, Edmonton, AB
TIME: 6:30 - 8:30 PM every Wednesday
PATRONAGE: Please be prepared to purchase at least one beverage or food item when attending to support our hosts
REGISTRATION: Sign up for this week's MeetUp here!
READING MATERIAL: Post a link to your reading for the week in a comment below along with your first name so people can find your story when it's your turn. Make sure when you do this that you set your sharing permission for the document to "Anyone with the link" (for Google Drive) or similar options if you use OneDrive or DropBox. This way people can access your story without emailing you for permission.
RULES:
- You must RSVP through the Sign Up sheet linked above. We have a limit of 8 people per event, with two reserve spots (9 and 10) acting as a waitlist. Should anyone drop out in the top 8 then the next in line will be able to attend. If you RSVP but do not attend more than once without warning then you will lose the privilege of RSVP'ing to future events.
- If you are on the waitlist, please do not show up unless a spot opens up as you will not be given time to share your writing and there will not be room to sit at the table we reserve weekly
- 1000 word limit cap per reading to allow for everyone to have their fair turn
- No racism, homophobia, fetishizing death / gore or sexual assault. Stories that deal with strong / triggering subject matter are allowed to, so long as they are not promoting these acts or attempting to shine them in anything but a negative light.
- Please be prepared to provide feedback to the other writers, we're all in this together!
2024.05.16 04:15 Technical_Salad_9403 Downhill battle against corruption and defamation.
I have been opening businesses here in the UAE with local partners for a decade. I have had with each instance have been put in a situation where I have done all the work, and won some of the top international accolades (some that are household names and common knowledge major awards) in my market and have had my businesses stripped away from me for outrageous reasons and events. I have also gone to jail twice- both without warning because of a corrupt lawyer who pretended be my legal council to only find out post jail through new legal council that I had lost my cases for not having representation and making a mockery of the court system when I only knew that I had paid and hired legal council with power of attorney- all the while my lawyer feeding me fake progress and fake proceedings. I was also dragged to jail after reporting a local to a very obvious crime to the AD police only to find my case was somehow deleted and the local I filed a case against literally filed the identical case against me as an act of revenge. WIth the same laywer I also lost a case with a collaborator who sued me for an insane amount for not doing something that wasn't even in our contract - nor even in the same field or category of my company. This was also a revenge case for my firm discontinuing this contract for extended non payment and non response. I was told by my attorney that this case should simply be thrown out but again lost this case with a greatly lowered fine. Reason for the judgement was again for not having legal representation and like before the judge noted that I made a mockery of the judicial system.
In my most recent projects, I had opened a string of critically acclaimed outlets in my business category that I again, lost and this time with my name dragged in the gutter due to these cases and a total loss of my businesses and contracts. It has been a nightmarish few years in what should have been the highlight of my company and my lifes work with our projects being considered the top of its class at the same time with incredible accomplishments which has made me wish I could trade it in for simply a moment of normalcy where myself and my family are not constantly living in fear that I may somehow lose something or end up again in jail and this time perhaps for a very long time. I am now in place where I have mounting warrants and unable to find legal representation to clear my name of any wrong doing. Poorly equipped with what has now become almost little to zero resources to do so. Are there any entities or social agencies that exist to assist in these cases of incredible corruption and violations of legal ethics? I find it so very agonizing that in a country with such strict laws about defamation and social emphasis on equality that I am knee deep in not one but many cases of constantly on the receiving end of what this culture decries in its public identity.
This all started when the lawyer of subject enquired if one of my business partners, a very large developer, would be interested in taking over a land lease owned by one of his other clients, a member of the royal family. A very big and unlikely transaction but it quickly came to look like the deal would go through. This is when he approached me to create a plan to take a percentage of the transaction - to which I immediately expressed that I wanted no part of. This was the moment where he intentionally created the illusion that he was still representing me as my attorney to only purposely organize the lose verdicts of my cases. As an expat who has depleted all of my resources, I have fought hard to continue my company and life here while attempting to find some tiny morsel of justice, but I find myself now having lost both my company and seemingly any chance to stop the avalanche of legal debts, travel bans and warrants that I can do nothing about.
My second legal council made a very simple but dubious error in understand the language of a simple legal procedure that has again landed me in deep trouble, this time not for neglect but simply my luck of choosing a very unskilled lawyer, who after it was apparent they had made a massive error, simply blocked me from reaching them and basically resigned in an instance after taking all of their fees.
Feeling quite imprisoned while having accomplished so much for this city. If there is anyone with real advice it would be greatly appreciated.
submitted by Technical_Salad_9403 to uaelaw [link] [comments]
In my most recent projects, I had opened a string of critically acclaimed outlets in my business category that I again, lost and this time with my name dragged in the gutter due to these cases and a total loss of my businesses and contracts. It has been a nightmarish few years in what should have been the highlight of my company and my lifes work with our projects being considered the top of its class at the same time with incredible accomplishments which has made me wish I could trade it in for simply a moment of normalcy where myself and my family are not constantly living in fear that I may somehow lose something or end up again in jail and this time perhaps for a very long time. I am now in place where I have mounting warrants and unable to find legal representation to clear my name of any wrong doing. Poorly equipped with what has now become almost little to zero resources to do so. Are there any entities or social agencies that exist to assist in these cases of incredible corruption and violations of legal ethics? I find it so very agonizing that in a country with such strict laws about defamation and social emphasis on equality that I am knee deep in not one but many cases of constantly on the receiving end of what this culture decries in its public identity.
This all started when the lawyer of subject enquired if one of my business partners, a very large developer, would be interested in taking over a land lease owned by one of his other clients, a member of the royal family. A very big and unlikely transaction but it quickly came to look like the deal would go through. This is when he approached me to create a plan to take a percentage of the transaction - to which I immediately expressed that I wanted no part of. This was the moment where he intentionally created the illusion that he was still representing me as my attorney to only purposely organize the lose verdicts of my cases. As an expat who has depleted all of my resources, I have fought hard to continue my company and life here while attempting to find some tiny morsel of justice, but I find myself now having lost both my company and seemingly any chance to stop the avalanche of legal debts, travel bans and warrants that I can do nothing about.
My second legal council made a very simple but dubious error in understand the language of a simple legal procedure that has again landed me in deep trouble, this time not for neglect but simply my luck of choosing a very unskilled lawyer, who after it was apparent they had made a massive error, simply blocked me from reaching them and basically resigned in an instance after taking all of their fees.
Feeling quite imprisoned while having accomplished so much for this city. If there is anyone with real advice it would be greatly appreciated.
2024.05.16 04:09 Technical_Salad_9403 Looking for Special Legal insight...
I have been opening businesses here in the UAE with local partners for a decade. I have had with each instance have been put in a situation where I have done all the work, and won some of the top international accolades (some that are household names and common knowledge major awards) in my market and have had my businesses stripped away from me for outrageous reasons and events. I have also gone to jail twice- both without warning because of a corrupt lawyer who pretended be my legal council to only find out post jail through new legal council that I had lost my cases for not having representation and making a mockery of the court system when I only knew that I had paid and hired legal council with power of attorney- all the while my lawyer feeding me fake progress and fake proceedings. I was also dragged to jail after reporting a local to a very obvious crime to the AD police only to find my case was somehow deleted and the local I filed a case against literally filed the identical case against me as an act of revenge. WIth the same laywer I also lost a case with a collaborator who sued me for an insane amount for not doing something that wasn't even in our contract - nor even in the same field or category of my company. This was also a revenge case for my firm discontinuing this contract for extended non payment and non response. I was told by my attorney that this case should simply be thrown out but again lost this case with a greatly lowered fine. Reason for the judgement was again for not having legal representation and like before the judge noted that I made a mockery of the judicial system.
In my most recent projects, I had opened a string of critically acclaimed outlets in my business category that I again, lost and this time with my name dragged in the gutter due to these cases and a total loss of my businesses and contracts. It has been a nightmarish few years in what should have been the highlight of my company and my lifes work with our projects being considered the top of its class at the same time with incredible accomplishments which has made me wish I could trade it in for simply a moment of normalcy where myself and my family are not constantly living in fear that I may somehow lose something or end up again in jail and this time perhaps for a very long time. I am now in place where I have mounting warrants and unable to find legal representation to clear my name of any wrong doing. Poorly equipped with what has now become almost little to zero resources to do so. Are there any entities or social agencies that exist to assist in these cases of incredible corruption and violations of legal ethics? I find it so very agonizing that in a country with such strict laws about defamation and social emphasis on equality that I am knee deep in not one but many cases of constantly on the receiving end of what this culture decries in its public identity.
This all started when the lawyer of subject enquired if one of my business partners, a very large developer, would be interested in taking over a land lease owned by one of his other clients, a member of the royal family. A very big and unlikely transaction but it quickly came to look like the deal would go through. This is when he approached me to create a plan to take a percentage of the transaction - to which I immediately expressed that I wanted no part of. This was the moment where he intentionally created the illusion that he was still representing me as my attorney to only purposely organize the lose verdicts of my cases. As an expat who has depleted all of my resources, I have fought hard to continue my company and life here while attempting to find some tiny morsel of justice, but I find myself now having lost both my company and seemingly any chance to stop the avalanche of legal debts, travel bans and warrants that I can do nothing about.
My second legal council made a very simple but dubious error in understand the language of a simple legal procedure that has again landed me in deep trouble, this time not for neglect but simply my luck of choosing a very unskilled lawyer, who after it was apparent they had made a massive error, simply blocked me from reaching them and basically resigned in an instance after taking all of their fees.
Feeling quite imprisoned while having accomplished so much for this city. If there is anyone with real advice it would be greatly appreciated.
submitted by Technical_Salad_9403 to UAE [link] [comments]
In my most recent projects, I had opened a string of critically acclaimed outlets in my business category that I again, lost and this time with my name dragged in the gutter due to these cases and a total loss of my businesses and contracts. It has been a nightmarish few years in what should have been the highlight of my company and my lifes work with our projects being considered the top of its class at the same time with incredible accomplishments which has made me wish I could trade it in for simply a moment of normalcy where myself and my family are not constantly living in fear that I may somehow lose something or end up again in jail and this time perhaps for a very long time. I am now in place where I have mounting warrants and unable to find legal representation to clear my name of any wrong doing. Poorly equipped with what has now become almost little to zero resources to do so. Are there any entities or social agencies that exist to assist in these cases of incredible corruption and violations of legal ethics? I find it so very agonizing that in a country with such strict laws about defamation and social emphasis on equality that I am knee deep in not one but many cases of constantly on the receiving end of what this culture decries in its public identity.
This all started when the lawyer of subject enquired if one of my business partners, a very large developer, would be interested in taking over a land lease owned by one of his other clients, a member of the royal family. A very big and unlikely transaction but it quickly came to look like the deal would go through. This is when he approached me to create a plan to take a percentage of the transaction - to which I immediately expressed that I wanted no part of. This was the moment where he intentionally created the illusion that he was still representing me as my attorney to only purposely organize the lose verdicts of my cases. As an expat who has depleted all of my resources, I have fought hard to continue my company and life here while attempting to find some tiny morsel of justice, but I find myself now having lost both my company and seemingly any chance to stop the avalanche of legal debts, travel bans and warrants that I can do nothing about.
My second legal council made a very simple but dubious error in understand the language of a simple legal procedure that has again landed me in deep trouble, this time not for neglect but simply my luck of choosing a very unskilled lawyer, who after it was apparent they had made a massive error, simply blocked me from reaching them and basically resigned in an instance after taking all of their fees.
Feeling quite imprisoned while having accomplished so much for this city. If there is anyone with real advice it would be greatly appreciated.
2024.05.16 04:09 PianistUnable6261 WIBTAif I reach out to my dear childhood friend who I used to perv/creep out on?
I (28m) used to be best friends with this girl, “S” (29f) from grade 2 until I was 22 years old (that was when we last saw each other). Her parents ran a Korean restaurant, and I have so many fond memories of eating there with her. S and I were close enough that when we were really young, we promised to marry each other when we got older lol. It was that kind of relationship.
Starting from when I was in high school, until around my second year of college, I became a bit of a creep. I knew that it was wrong to touch girls without their consent, but I just thought it was “mildly” wrong, rather than being a genuine, disturbing violation. I didn’t think it was wrong to ogle girls, I thought I was being “funny” when I said sexual things to them, etc etc. I don’t know how, but I just happened to fly under the radar; between the ages of 14-18, when I was REALLY acting out, I still don’t remember getting any warnings or getting into trouble from my authority figures and teachers. And unfortunately, I took out some of my perversions on S during this time. I leered at her a lot and made a lot of sexual comments about her. One time, when I was in my freshman year of college, I groped her breasts; this was the only time I laid my hands on her. It's important to note, however, that I didn't act out on her nearly as much as I did to other girls, because I thought she was too dear to me to treat her that way on a regular basis. The last communication she had with me was 6 years ago, when she asked me via Facebook “yo…are you okay?” I didn’t respond to that message.
I grew up A LOT ever since I went to college. With all that being said, I admit that I am still sexually attracted to S, and I look up her Facebook photos frequently (not that it really hurts her; what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her). I miss her so much, and I still remember that silly childhood marriage promise that we made with each other. She never posts anything angsty on her Facebook or social media, which I’m hoping means that she’s not as traumatized as I fear she is. If I reach out to her and ask her out for some coffee, would that be a good idea?
submitted by PianistUnable6261 to AmITheJerk [link] [comments]
Starting from when I was in high school, until around my second year of college, I became a bit of a creep. I knew that it was wrong to touch girls without their consent, but I just thought it was “mildly” wrong, rather than being a genuine, disturbing violation. I didn’t think it was wrong to ogle girls, I thought I was being “funny” when I said sexual things to them, etc etc. I don’t know how, but I just happened to fly under the radar; between the ages of 14-18, when I was REALLY acting out, I still don’t remember getting any warnings or getting into trouble from my authority figures and teachers. And unfortunately, I took out some of my perversions on S during this time. I leered at her a lot and made a lot of sexual comments about her. One time, when I was in my freshman year of college, I groped her breasts; this was the only time I laid my hands on her. It's important to note, however, that I didn't act out on her nearly as much as I did to other girls, because I thought she was too dear to me to treat her that way on a regular basis. The last communication she had with me was 6 years ago, when she asked me via Facebook “yo…are you okay?” I didn’t respond to that message.
I grew up A LOT ever since I went to college. With all that being said, I admit that I am still sexually attracted to S, and I look up her Facebook photos frequently (not that it really hurts her; what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her). I miss her so much, and I still remember that silly childhood marriage promise that we made with each other. She never posts anything angsty on her Facebook or social media, which I’m hoping means that she’s not as traumatized as I fear she is. If I reach out to her and ask her out for some coffee, would that be a good idea?
2024.05.16 04:00 LightnitePYT I feel like this might be cringe to some people, but I'm posting it anyways
I recently started working on a fan-made Season 9 Episode 1 script of House MD. It's very much in its earlier stages, and so far, I only have an intro to the whole thing. No actual story development yet, and this intro will also change as well. If people genuinely enjoy it, I might make more updates in the future, but for now, this is all I have!
(WARNING - If you haven't watched the last season of House MD yet, some of the dialogue WILL spoil things for you!)
[Open on a tiny bit of light, squeezing its way through the hospital window. The light shines on House’s head, as he’s sitting down, facing down towards the ground.]
Drip, drip, drip… The dripping sounds of the chemo continued to echo throughout the silent hospital room, until it was interrupted by the sounds of dull footsteps inviting themselves into the room.
Unknown Doctor: Excuse me, are you Kyle Calloway?
House: Yes. And… Unless this is more important than my friend’s afternoon death, make this quick. Pretty please?
[House says in his sarcastic tone, with the ‘pretty please’ being high-pitched, almost like a little girl.]
Unknown Doctor: Um… Well, sir, we may need some kind of registration from you. Some of the other doctors here have started to notice that you resemble another very well-known doctor, who was recently deceased due to a–
House: [cutting off the Doctor] Yeah yeah yeah, I get it, you think I’m some kind of doctor with the ability to revive myself from the dead. Gosh, isn’t that what doctors do on a daily basis? Cure dead people or something?
[House begins to stand up using his cane, nearly shouting his sarcasm in the Doctor’s face.]
House: I mean, pfft, I’m a doctor, so I should totally know this! Remind me, doctor, what chapter was the Frankenstein unit on again? I mean, like, it completely slipped my mind! Faster than my friend here slipping into the–
[Suddenly, a noise is heard from the hospital bed. It’s Wilson, trying to move desperately into a different sleeping position. Even with all his given effort, he is unable to move into a different position. He is way too weak to do so. However, he still has some lasting energy to cut off House’s sarcasm.]
Wilson: You’re an ass.
[Both House and the Doctor stare back at Wilson, both snapping out of their argument.]
Unknown Doctor: I think I’ll just…
[The Doctor walks outside of the hospital room, leaving both House and Wilson by themselves.]
Wilson: It hurts, House.
House: I know. It’ll be over soon.
Wilson: You promised, House. I don’t wanna die… In a hospital room.
House: [attempting to ignore Wilson’s comment about his promise] Have you thought about what you’re gonna say to all the cancer patients you failed to save?
Wilson: sigh My point still stands. You’re an ass, House.
House: [softening & lowering his voice] What about Amber?
Wilson: What… About her? [Wilson is almost set back by this comment, puzzled.]
House: You know what you’re gonna tell her once you… Y’know.
Wilson: But I thought you didn’t believe in heaven?...
[All of a sudden, House shouts, filled with deep grief.]
House: I DON’T!
[His voice nearly echoes in the hospital room, filling up the empty space. There’s almost a 4-5 second pause before any of them say another word.]
Wilson: I love you.
House: What?
Wilson: That’s what I’ll tell her. I love you.
House: Not bad.
Wilson: I swear House, if you didn’t bring me into this damn place, I wouldn’t need to be hooked up to all this chemo! I swear to–
[Wilson starts to cough vigorously, nearly suffocating on his own words.]
House: Hey, hey! Take it easy.
Wilson: So… cough cough are you just gonna keep ignoring me until I’m dead?
[House pauses for a moment, thinking of what to say next.]
House: I brought you here, because… I lied. I care about you Wilson, I–
Wilson: DON’T– do that, House. You think if you can control everything around you, that your whole world can magically heal itself! Yet, the more you do any of it, you kill off everyone else around you… Even yourself, apparently.
[Another pause begins before Wilson continues onwards.]
Wilson: Not everything is about you, House. So, for once in your damn life, stop trying to be a healer, and try to be a–
House: I love you.
Wilson: What?
House: And your life did matter.
Wilson: Huh… [Wilson pauses for a moment, thinking to himself as he stares at the ceiling. He then looks back at House.]
Wilson: I believe you.
House: [squinting his eyes, looking back at Wilson] No, you don’t.
[Both of them chuckle simultaneously, in a way only two truly close friends would be able to.]
House: I mean, really… How many doctors have you met that have taken part in a porno before their careers?
Wilson: Alright, now you’re really pushing it!
[Another pause continues to take place, followed by a silent chuckle from both of them, again.]
Wilson: Everybody lies, right?
House: Yeah.
Wilson: Guess it’s just a matter of what for.
[Another awkward pause takes place, this time, without any chuckling.]
Wilson: Hey, H-House?...
House: Yeah?
[Suddenly, Wilson starts wheezing intensively, almost like he’s getting his entire soul sucked out of his body. The heart monitor begins beeping intensely, as Wilson continues to gasp for a breath of air.]
House: NURSE! NURSE!
[3 Nurses arrive at the scene, attempting to fix the unknown problem.]
House: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO HIM?! THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN AN EASY DECLINE, INSTEAD HE SOUNDS LIKE HE’S BEING POISONED BY GAS!
Nurse 1: Sir, we are trying our best to figure this ou–
House: WELL, YOUR BEST ISN’T ENOUGH! MY BEST FRIEND IS HERE WHEEZING HIMSELF TO DEATH AND ALL YOU CAN DO IS NOTHING!
[Wilson continues to wheeze intensively, with each wheeze getting weaker and weaker.]
House: DO SOMETHING, OR I WILL!
Nurse 2: Sir, we need you to get out of this room right away!
[Nurse 2 and Nurse 3 push House outside of the hospital room, whilst also blocking him access to open the door with the chair he was sitting on previously.]
House: banging on the glass door HEY! LET ME BACK IN! I’M A DOCTOR! JUST LET ME–
[Suddenly, Wilson’s wheezing completely stops, as the heart monitor flatlines. Almost like the world had completely stopped, House looks at Wilson’s face, probably for the last time. He pauses on his face for another 5-10 seconds, until his eyes begin to turn red from the tears forming in his eyes.]
[Shot changes to a hallway, with the Doctor from before speed walking with two other hospital police officers following right behind her.]
Unknown Doctor: There he is! He’s right—
[However, House was already gone, which surprised both the Doctor and the hospital police officers.]
[Shot changes to House in his car right outside the unknown hospital he was just in, looking down at his pager. With a dull face and tears still in his eyes, he clicks on Wilson’s messages. The shot then changes back to House’s pager, with the last message being sent by House, talking about whether or not Wilson wanted to come to a Monster Truck event that was happening later in the same week. There was no response back from Wilson. Then, for the first time, House sheds an actual tear, which is only shown as it drops on his last message to Wilson on his pager. Cut to black.]
[Massive Attack’s Teardrop]
submitted by LightnitePYT to HouseMD [link] [comments]
(WARNING - If you haven't watched the last season of House MD yet, some of the dialogue WILL spoil things for you!)
– ACT 1 –
Welcome Home
Drip, drip, drip…[Open on a tiny bit of light, squeezing its way through the hospital window. The light shines on House’s head, as he’s sitting down, facing down towards the ground.]
Drip, drip, drip… The dripping sounds of the chemo continued to echo throughout the silent hospital room, until it was interrupted by the sounds of dull footsteps inviting themselves into the room.
Unknown Doctor: Excuse me, are you Kyle Calloway?
House: Yes. And… Unless this is more important than my friend’s afternoon death, make this quick. Pretty please?
[House says in his sarcastic tone, with the ‘pretty please’ being high-pitched, almost like a little girl.]
Unknown Doctor: Um… Well, sir, we may need some kind of registration from you. Some of the other doctors here have started to notice that you resemble another very well-known doctor, who was recently deceased due to a–
House: [cutting off the Doctor] Yeah yeah yeah, I get it, you think I’m some kind of doctor with the ability to revive myself from the dead. Gosh, isn’t that what doctors do on a daily basis? Cure dead people or something?
[House begins to stand up using his cane, nearly shouting his sarcasm in the Doctor’s face.]
House: I mean, pfft, I’m a doctor, so I should totally know this! Remind me, doctor, what chapter was the Frankenstein unit on again? I mean, like, it completely slipped my mind! Faster than my friend here slipping into the–
[Suddenly, a noise is heard from the hospital bed. It’s Wilson, trying to move desperately into a different sleeping position. Even with all his given effort, he is unable to move into a different position. He is way too weak to do so. However, he still has some lasting energy to cut off House’s sarcasm.]
Wilson: You’re an ass.
[Both House and the Doctor stare back at Wilson, both snapping out of their argument.]
Unknown Doctor: I think I’ll just…
[The Doctor walks outside of the hospital room, leaving both House and Wilson by themselves.]
Wilson: It hurts, House.
House: I know. It’ll be over soon.
Wilson: You promised, House. I don’t wanna die… In a hospital room.
House: [attempting to ignore Wilson’s comment about his promise] Have you thought about what you’re gonna say to all the cancer patients you failed to save?
Wilson: sigh My point still stands. You’re an ass, House.
House: [softening & lowering his voice] What about Amber?
Wilson: What… About her? [Wilson is almost set back by this comment, puzzled.]
House: You know what you’re gonna tell her once you… Y’know.
Wilson: But I thought you didn’t believe in heaven?...
[All of a sudden, House shouts, filled with deep grief.]
House: I DON’T!
[His voice nearly echoes in the hospital room, filling up the empty space. There’s almost a 4-5 second pause before any of them say another word.]
Wilson: I love you.
House: What?
Wilson: That’s what I’ll tell her. I love you.
House: Not bad.
Wilson: I swear House, if you didn’t bring me into this damn place, I wouldn’t need to be hooked up to all this chemo! I swear to–
[Wilson starts to cough vigorously, nearly suffocating on his own words.]
House: Hey, hey! Take it easy.
Wilson: So… cough cough are you just gonna keep ignoring me until I’m dead?
[House pauses for a moment, thinking of what to say next.]
House: I brought you here, because… I lied. I care about you Wilson, I–
Wilson: DON’T– do that, House. You think if you can control everything around you, that your whole world can magically heal itself! Yet, the more you do any of it, you kill off everyone else around you… Even yourself, apparently.
[Another pause begins before Wilson continues onwards.]
Wilson: Not everything is about you, House. So, for once in your damn life, stop trying to be a healer, and try to be a–
House: I love you.
Wilson: What?
House: And your life did matter.
Wilson: Huh… [Wilson pauses for a moment, thinking to himself as he stares at the ceiling. He then looks back at House.]
Wilson: I believe you.
House: [squinting his eyes, looking back at Wilson] No, you don’t.
[Both of them chuckle simultaneously, in a way only two truly close friends would be able to.]
House: I mean, really… How many doctors have you met that have taken part in a porno before their careers?
Wilson: Alright, now you’re really pushing it!
[Another pause continues to take place, followed by a silent chuckle from both of them, again.]
Wilson: Everybody lies, right?
House: Yeah.
Wilson: Guess it’s just a matter of what for.
[Another awkward pause takes place, this time, without any chuckling.]
Wilson: Hey, H-House?...
House: Yeah?
[Suddenly, Wilson starts wheezing intensively, almost like he’s getting his entire soul sucked out of his body. The heart monitor begins beeping intensely, as Wilson continues to gasp for a breath of air.]
House: NURSE! NURSE!
[3 Nurses arrive at the scene, attempting to fix the unknown problem.]
House: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO HIM?! THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN AN EASY DECLINE, INSTEAD HE SOUNDS LIKE HE’S BEING POISONED BY GAS!
Nurse 1: Sir, we are trying our best to figure this ou–
House: WELL, YOUR BEST ISN’T ENOUGH! MY BEST FRIEND IS HERE WHEEZING HIMSELF TO DEATH AND ALL YOU CAN DO IS NOTHING!
[Wilson continues to wheeze intensively, with each wheeze getting weaker and weaker.]
House: DO SOMETHING, OR I WILL!
Nurse 2: Sir, we need you to get out of this room right away!
[Nurse 2 and Nurse 3 push House outside of the hospital room, whilst also blocking him access to open the door with the chair he was sitting on previously.]
House: banging on the glass door HEY! LET ME BACK IN! I’M A DOCTOR! JUST LET ME–
[Suddenly, Wilson’s wheezing completely stops, as the heart monitor flatlines. Almost like the world had completely stopped, House looks at Wilson’s face, probably for the last time. He pauses on his face for another 5-10 seconds, until his eyes begin to turn red from the tears forming in his eyes.]
[Shot changes to a hallway, with the Doctor from before speed walking with two other hospital police officers following right behind her.]
Unknown Doctor: There he is! He’s right—
[However, House was already gone, which surprised both the Doctor and the hospital police officers.]
[Shot changes to House in his car right outside the unknown hospital he was just in, looking down at his pager. With a dull face and tears still in his eyes, he clicks on Wilson’s messages. The shot then changes back to House’s pager, with the last message being sent by House, talking about whether or not Wilson wanted to come to a Monster Truck event that was happening later in the same week. There was no response back from Wilson. Then, for the first time, House sheds an actual tear, which is only shown as it drops on his last message to Wilson on his pager. Cut to black.]
[Massive Attack’s Teardrop]
2024.05.16 03:38 keokyoe How do I even begin to choose what to go into?
I’m a high-schooler who is graduating next week. I thought I knew what I wanted to do. I originally wanted to become an art teacher to continue my joy of art and have a way to maintain an alright income. But recently I realized I’m not so sure that I want to do that.
I have no idea where to go on from there. I’ve never been the business-y type of kid, or math or health. I look into careers but think that I am just not capable of any of it.
My true dream would be to have an art degree and sell art, but I know for sure that is hopeless. I kind of have to go to college, since I have a full ride scholarship to a college (I took AP and dual enrollment classes, as well as scored well on the ACT and maintained a 4.0 GPA).
Although I could go into the corporate world, my mom has advised/warned me against it, since her and my dad both work office jobs (he’s a programmer, she’s an account manager).
I’m just so lost and worried. I probably need to have this figured out soon so I can start registering for classes at my local college. I just have no idea where to go from here, and thought that wisdom from other people would help.
submitted by keokyoe to careerguidance [link] [comments]
I have no idea where to go on from there. I’ve never been the business-y type of kid, or math or health. I look into careers but think that I am just not capable of any of it.
My true dream would be to have an art degree and sell art, but I know for sure that is hopeless. I kind of have to go to college, since I have a full ride scholarship to a college (I took AP and dual enrollment classes, as well as scored well on the ACT and maintained a 4.0 GPA).
Although I could go into the corporate world, my mom has advised/warned me against it, since her and my dad both work office jobs (he’s a programmer, she’s an account manager).
I’m just so lost and worried. I probably need to have this figured out soon so I can start registering for classes at my local college. I just have no idea where to go from here, and thought that wisdom from other people would help.