TODAY'S RECAP

I was so bored with the show today. Liam gets all up in Deacon's business. Luna worries she's pregnant. RJ fusses at Brooke for fussing at Zende. Even Steffy's confrontation with Sheila bored me bc it was so very predictable. Knowing the topics, someone could write a recap without even viewing the episode.

RJ, Brooke, and Ridge at FC

RJ: MOMMMM! You shouldn't have fussed at Zende! 🤨 It's Luna's business. I want to respect her privacy. So, please stay out of it! 😦 I'm handling it. Gah! I don't need your help!
Brooke: I had to! 😦
RJ: No. No you did NOT have to! (💭 Don't make me regret telling you.😕)
Brooke: We're FAMILY! He slept with your girlfriend! 👩I had to know what he would say for himself (💭 🫤 Not much.)
RJ: Nuh uh! You did not HAVE to know ANYTHING! (💭 Getting mom to back off is not easy. Why does she have to know everything? 🫤)
I'ma draw a circle ⭕ around MY business and Luna's. That's called a BOUNDARY. This is you right here 👇 in the middle of OUR business. You need to get 👉 👉 👉 OUT. (💭 Okay, Reddit. That's what we wished he would have said 🫤.)
(What he really said, in the nicest way possible) Mommmmm. Don't do that. We need to respect Luna's privacy. I don't want you talking about it here or with dad.
Enter Ridge. 😀 What's going on? Something's up. What is it? 🧐 It's totally my business. Everything is. I get to butt in. That's my thing.
RJ: 🫤
Brooke: 🙄
Ridge: It's Luna right? 😀 Great gal! Office romance, huh. 👩‍❤️‍👨 I did that. I fell for this hot chemist 🔬😍. (Smoochy Smoochy 😘.)
RJ: (💭 Not your business 😒). Dad, it's not a BIG life or death thing, so can you just be cool with not knowing? 😐
Ridge: Nooo. Now I REALLY want to know!
RJ: It doesn't involve you two and it's not life or death, so. (💭 These two! Gah!)
Ridge: Ohhhh, I see. You're acting like a teenager, going to your mom for help.
Brooke: He's not in any kind of trouble 😐. (💭 Getting Ridge to back off is not easy. Why does he have to know everything? 🫤)
Ridge: Alright. Look, your mom gives great advice. Listen to her! 😀 I'm here too if you want to talk. (Redditors who are not fast forwarding are surprised he's letting it go. It's so un-Ridge.)
You're doing so great! 😀 HFTF👗is great! 😃 You have a great team 🙂 and that ain't easy! Your collaboration is great! 😊 It's all great! 😀 Everyone else thinks you're great too! 😃 And you and Luna are great! 👩‍❤️‍👨 Keep up the great! 😁
RJ: With Hope's vision, anyone coul--
Ridge: Nah. Not anyone. You're GREAT!

Luna and Poppy at FC

Luna: Ohhhhhhhh noooooooo.😟 I think I might be pregnant.🤰I have this pregnancy test, but I think instead of taking it, we should just speculate back and forth.
Poppy and Luna: (play 20 questions❓) We know you had sex❓ Yah 😟. With two guys❓Yah 😣. Did you use protection❓Yah 😢. Do you feel sick❓🤢 Yah yah yah! 🤢🤮 Have you ever felt like this before❓Noooooooooooooooo! 😩 It's a special, unique, new kinda sick! 😖
Luna: I don't want to mess up my life! 😫 What am I gonna doooooooo?! RJ just forgave me 😫.
Poppy: Oh! YAY! 😃👏👏👏 Told you so 😏.
Luna: I don't wanna baby! 👶🍼 Wah! 😩
Poppy: (💭 Yah. Obviously sweetheart. You might think you're grown, but you're still a BABY! And kind of a big baby 🫤.) Don't get ahead of yourself. It could be something else. 🙄
Luna: Yah! 🙄 But nah 😞. Maybe I should just take the test? (💭💡🤔)
Poppy: Yah. Great idea💡 sweetheart. 😐
(⏰ Alarm rings.)
Luna: 😫 I can't loooooook! 🫣 You loooooooook!
Poppy: 👀
Luna: 😟

Deacon and Liam at Il Giardino

Liam: Wtf are you doing? 🤨
Deacon: Working. Living my life. Saving Sheila. 😏
Liam: (💭 I'ma jump right into his business bc we used to hang out back when I was married to his daughter.) No one but you is happy Sheila's alive. 😒
Deacon: (💭 Dude. How is this your business? 🤔) I'm thrilled 😃 she's alive and so is Finn! 👨‍⚕️
Liam: 🤨 Ohhh, hey, that Finn part, that won't work for Steffy 😡.
Deacon: You want me to wish someone dead? 💀 Nah.
Liam: Wellll, no but you've invented an imaginary version of Sheila! 😇 Sheila BAD! 👺 She did all the very bad 😈 things. Don't you get that? Amirite?
Deacon: But not ONLY the bad things. Also a good thing - tryna save Steffy.🦸‍♀️
Liam: But the bad is very BAD 👹. And how do you know she tried to save Steffy? 🤔 You have only her word! She could be making shit up 🫲 left and right 🫱! She could be spinning stories ✍️, telling tall tales, presenting you with her fantasy 🧙🪄 fiction, exaggerating 😦, LYING!
Deacon: Or not. Look, I'm happy she's alive! And I didn't listen to anybody. If I hadn't searched texts📱, credit card 💳 receipts 🧾, and if Finn and I hadn't tracked her down and saved her from being chained up ⛓️ in that warehouse, she really would be dead ☠️😵.
Liam: Yay Columbo. 🔎 But what about STEFFY? I'm concerned about STEFFY! I have STEFFY on the brain! Finn can't protect STEFFY (💭 so I will!)
Deacon: Steffy is fine. Gah. I know Sheila's psycho 😵‍💫 history (💭🪓➰🔪🔥). And she knows I'm not a big fan of the attempted murders and shit. I was like, babe. Stop. 🛑 Not cool. And she was like, for you and my son, okaaaay, fine, I'll stop. ppffrrtt. Sheesh. 🙄
So yah, she's changed. She hasn't sprouted angel 😇 wings 🪽 but she's no threat. And Steffy can be relieved that Steffy The Blade Forrester 😏 didn't kill 🔪 Finn's birth mother.
Liam: Not funny. 🤨 All Steffy wants is NO Sheila in their lives. So maybe you and Finn could at least lay off the happy dance!🕺🕺
Deacon: Steffy could choose to be open minded and at least give Sheila a chance.
Liam: Nah! 🤨
Deacon: I'm in a happy dance🕺, cartwheel🤸‍♂️, spike the ball 🏈 in the end zone kinda mood. So's Finn. 😃
Liam: 😒

Steffy and Sheila at Deacon's apartment

(Sheila flashes back to Deacon's latest proposal. Steffy knocks, then bursts in 😠).
Steffy: YOUUUUUU! 😡😤 Alive and well! Blech! 🤮
Sheila: Hiyeee.👋 I realize that you hate me, that you don't want to see my face, that you wish I were dead 💀, that all you can think about is the list of my violent 🪓➰🔪crimes against your family, but heyyyy. Let's chat. Why not? 🫲☺️🫱. I've been wanting to talk to you.
Steffy: Grrr! Snort! 😤
I hope you can at least understand Finn's feelings 💗💕😃. He's jumping for joy 🤸‍♂️that I'm alive.
Steffy: 😡
Sheila: You too can feel the same if you just give a girl a chance, will ya? We can get our nails done 💅 and our hair cut 💇‍♀️💇‍♀️✂️ together! I can be your BFF 👯, if you'll just overlook several instances of attempted murder 🪓, kidnapping ➰, arson 🔥, and what not. I'm all better 😇 now for real for real. I'm talking all soft and smooth and not choking 😵 you even a little. So, what'd ya say?
Steffy: Grrr! Snarl! Finn's emotions are all SCREWY, SCRAMBLED up, and FRIED by YOU! 🫨 He's essentially got fried egg 🍳brain! Huff! Puff! 😤
He's GOOD! 👼 He's a doctor!👨‍⚕️ He's saves people! That's his job! He NEEDS--
Sheila: Your support! Your understanding. (💭Your personality to be swapped out. 😒). He just needs a little--
Steffy: FINN NEEDS YOUR 👉 CRAZY ASS PSYCHO 🫨 BULLSHIT to END! STAY🫸 the FUCK AWAY FROM HIM! 🤬 STAY OUT of our lives! Snarl! 😡
Sheila: (💭 This again. Reminds me of the time I shot 🔫🩸 this bitch. 🫤) I gave BIRTH to him. I--
Steffy: I! DON'T! CARE! 😤😡🤨 I DON'T CARE that YOU GAVE BIRTH to HIM! SOOOO FUCKING WHAT?! That means exactly NOTHING to ME! Grrrr! Growl! This stupid ass CONNECTION IS DONE! FINISHED! OVER! Got it BITCH? 😤🤨😡
Sheila: I'm his mother. You're a mother--
Steffy: DON'T TRY TO PLAY THE MOMMY CARD! YOU SHOT HIM!
Sheila: Well yah (💭 I was tryna shoot you). But that was 🫲 then. This 🫱 is now. Finn forgave me. ☺️ He's--
Steffy: HE'S kind and compassionate, unlike YOU! All you bring is LIES! MISERY! HEARTACHE! 💔 DESTRUCTION! 💥 TSUNAMI! 🌊 TORNADOS! 🌪️ And POOR WAIT STAFF CUSTOMER SERVICE! We could get pizza 🍕 again at the ONLY PIZZA PLACE IN LA! But you've DESTROYED our pizza outings that we just got back! We were FINALLY READY to venture into Il Giardino again. Now you've RUINED IT FOR MY FAMILY! ROARRRRRR!
Sheila: Well yah and I wanna change that. I have a new beginning. We can try different pizza toppings -- whatever you want!
Steffy: OHHHHHHH STFU about FRESH STARTS and FRESH IDEAS for TOPPINGS! I will NEVER try CHOCOLATE 🍫 or COCONUT 🥥 on MY PIZZA! It's just WRONG! Snarl! Snort! 😤 Grrr! 😡 Harumph! YOU run your STUPID, UGLY, BIG, FAT, STINKING MOUTH 👄 about FRESH STARTS every fucking time you pop back up from the DEAD 💀 like a FUCKING ZOMBIE 🧟‍♀️or get released from prison!
STOP 🛑 STOP 🛑 STOP 🛑 STOP 🛑 with your FRESH START and your TWISTED BIOLOGICAL birth mommy 🤰 BULLSHIT tie to FINN! It STOPS 🛑 TODAY! Right FUCKING NOW!
Sheila: Sputter. Ppffrrtt! Well. Gah! (💭 Little girl, aren't you the bratty, bossy bitch. Hmm. What to do about you.🤔 I'm not supposed to kill 🔪 you, dang it 🫤. Finn would prolly be mad 😠 and Deacon would scold me 🤨 and hafta bribe another judge. 👨‍⚖️ Phewy. 😕 Kidnapping ➰ is always an option, as long as they don't trace it back to me 😏. She's such a pain in my ass 🫤. I'll try to reason with her, but she's not exactly reasonable. Reformed me is an expert on reasonableness 😌.)
You're forgetting Finn saved me. He missed me and that changed him. He--
Steffy: He's DECENT! He's a DOCTOR. You ALWAYS SPEW the SAME STUPID INSANE GARBAGE. 🤮 Grrr! I gave FINN a CHOICE -- YOU or ME! He chose ME! And his SON! NOT YOU! WE are his PRIORITY! Harumph!
Sheila: Yah yah, as you should be, but he's made room in his heart ❤️ for me too. Why can't he have both? 😦
Steffy: NEVER! YOU are DEAD 💀to us. YOU don't MATTER. I don't care about you or what you do with your PATHETIC useless, pointless life. Growl! 😡
You are CANCELLED! ❌ I'm BLOCKING YOU ON INSTA and FACEBOOK! YOU OBSESSIVELY LIKE EVERY PICTURE! IT'S CREEPY AF! DO NOT try to sneakily FRIEND FINN on SNAPCHAT either! 😡 Huff! Puff! 😤 Or send him encrypted messages! And he's not even on Reddit bc he thought he was spending too much time looking at funny cats 🐱 swatting things! 😡 WE will NOT follow YOU on TIKTOK and YOU can't even DANCE💃 like a normal person! Your moves are demented 🫨! And your stories are LAME af! FUCK right tf OFF!
Sheila: But I'm MOMMY. I care about him and he--
Steffy: IF YOU actually CARED about FINN, you would LEAVE him tf ALONE! DON'T try to worm 🪱 your way into his heart! 😡
Go do whatever the fuck with Deacon. But STAY OUT OF FINN'S HEAD! 🧠 STOP 🛑 MESSING with his EMOTIONS! Snarl! 😠 FUCK OFF! WREAK your fucked up brand of havoc AWAY FROM US BITCH! Snort! 😤 YOU DON'T EXIST TO US!
If you don't, YOU WILL ANSWER TO ME! 😡
Sheila: 😐 (💭 Clearly, she's a problem 😕.)
Steffy: 😡😡😡 (💭 watching 👁️👁️ you).
The end.

I (19F) have been to a psychiatrist once, I have Tourette's among a few other things so I know I belong here to a certain extent though I've never really felt 'welcome' anywhere. Damn I just started and I already see how hate-able I'm acting right now. I'm not a bad person, I try to see the good in everyone, but I'm so frustrated because nobody seems to want to do that for me.
I'm always angry, always anxious, always thinking and always squirming.
Nobody seems to think the way I do and it's genuinely driving me insane. I've been noticing misogyny everywhere since I was a kid, partly due to the fact that I developed a fear of pregnancy very early on and I always thought about things logically when people were being stupid.
Actually, I don't think I'd be smart at all if I hadn't discovered red-pill podcasts and been forced to debunk all the stupid things they said (in my head).
My brain connects things that may not make sense to most people, but they make so much sense in my head, and I always end up having the best idea/opinion on most subjects that I think about.
I'll just give a quick example of how my brain functions for my sake (even if nobody ever reads this)
"women aren't funny", "women live life on easy mode", while we also know that people use humor to cope and typically when I hear "women aren't funny" it's related to "dark humor" (which is usually just punching down on minorities, of course)
If we're deciding women aren't funny because both women and men find men funny, but only women find women funny, and we know that people use dark humor to cope with their struggles (or justify their bigotry), how is it possible that they understand both sides but have an easier life?
Now I'm not necessarily making the argument that their life is inherently harder, just that those things can't exist simultaneously. Somewhat like the God can't be all powerful, all knowing and all loving argument.
I don't have anger issues or anything but because I'm so anxious all the time and never get to express myself, I always feel at least a little agitated.
Having sensory symmetry and tokophobia and constantly thinking about misogyny while having tics makes living extremely difficult for me. I tend to masturbate when I'm angry (Idk if that's TMI) and it makes me even angrier because I realize that as someone with tokophobia, I can't be hyper-sexual because pro-lifers exist. And I also know that some people become hyper-sexual due to some form of trauma, though I'm personally not affected by that it pisses me off knowing that they wouldn't care but they still think they have the moral high ground.
This is also what sparked my interest in reading bl manhwas, because the way the stories just completely forget about consent reminded me of everything I'd been thinking about, because I like to examine why I like the things that I like, and I've realized that women are kind of trained to not fully understand consent. But in a weird way it also kind of helped me understand that pregnancy isn't the only reason people would say no to sex.
I thought sensory symmetry was a thing only I had to deal with so when I found out there's a term for it, it made me so angry because I would always explain it like "so you know how in an equation what you do to one side you have to do to the other?" and I'd be talking about a scrape on my leg or a bruise on my back.

Hi! I have new book out on Amazon called Laugh Like A Mother. Funny poetry about motherhood. Check it out!
Laugh Like A Mother
Also another book I wrote :) Funny/heartfelt stories about relationships.
Please Read Me: A Collection of Short Stories and Some Poems Too
They’re funny too because they can be used as a selfie prop!

“the initial grip of fear, that turns into the unexpected earning for your capture.”
the poetry in here is about survival and surrender. it delves into the complexities of a karmic love. being trapped in a situation, while still being aware of its toxicity. my poems are meant to convey the tumultuous journey of being in love with a narcissist. (your “capture”) the lessons you learn, as painful as they can be, invite you to take a step into the shadow side of love. if you feel at home here, I’m truly sorry. there is a way out. I hope you break free. -with so much love, gillian.
and when you retreat,
i’ll wear this shirt for days.
intoxicating & sweet,
with your cologne interlaced.
breathing in your deceit,
it kind of feels like mace.
denial mixed with defeat.

• i’ve always had bad taste.

i knew you weren’t game.
still i chose to play.
it isn't fair to blame.
believe me, i carry my own shame.
poured myself into your glass,
played the waiting game.
leaking through your cracks,
our imperfections the same.
-i recognize a glass half full, even when it’s shattered.
every summer, we reheat.
you left your roots behind
seasons change, but cycles repeat.
if you see the same tree in the forest twice,
it’s time to face defeat.
must come to terms,
the truth can be bleak.
-you’re lost.
got a god complex,
but you’re not religious.
searching for who’s next.
never fearing Jesus.
sit back & count your checks.
blame your mistakes on demons.
make your excuses.
you’ve got your reasons.
-false prophecy
you remind me of an onion.
make me cry as I peel away at you,
in search for your seed.
but you’re just a facade of skins.
layers of deception,
concealing the truth.
disappointing.
you have no core,
only hollow creed.
-my mother’s disdain for onions.
there’s always been a haze between us.
murky, convoluted, undefined.
more than friends, less than lovers.
simultaneously strangers.
but in this ambiguity, I find solace.
-for grey is my favorite color.
i’ll play bartender,
make you something nice.
your heart in my hand,
gripping your ice.
drain me dry,
leave me hollow & still.
next week you’ll return,
thirsty for your refill.
-whiskey sour
bittersweet.
should have read the label.
“poison”
sitting so pretty on my table.
calling like an offering,
tempting & fatal.
it won’t go down smooth,
leave me unstable.
i tried to resist, i was unable.
now i see that love exists,
but only in fables.
-why do mistakes taste so good?
your lips left a bruise.
just here to distract.
but i admit i’m confused
when you kiss me like that.
aware i’m being used.
still comfortable where i’m at.
position i choose
complacent doormat.
-welcome home
you prefer car rides.
a space to talk, yet evade my gaze.
unable to sit still, restless in your ways.
never one to settle, always seeking the next best fling.
oh, how I long for the days when adderall made you sing.
-my fuel light is on
I broke my own heart,
more times than a few.
i may have lied,
but never to you.
if i faced the truth,
then what’s left to do?
i’m comfortable here,
wasting my youth.
i hate to admit it,
but i know it’s true.
i’m scared of change,
you run from it too.
i won’t forgive myself,
for always forgiving you.
-can you be home sick from people too?
You’re dead to me.
-Necrophiliac.
come on.
i forgave you,
without an apology.
convinced myself it was closure.
started our anthology.
this will never be over.
it’s in our biology.
let’s have a do over.
can you just come fuck me?
-delusional. & i can’t rhyme either.
i’ll read between your lines,
decipher each clue.
search for the signs,
follow your cue.
you’ve spun me around,
think i’ve lost a few screws.
still i rise, dust off the bruise.
maybe i’m drawn to a challenge,
perhaps it’s not you.
denial is my shield.
my safe space, my refuge.
the truth will not prevail
defeat? i refuse.
my final boss,
I aim to subdue.
-sore loser.
my mom said i felt cold.
I always tell the truth.
the words escaped my mouth.
“i get it from you.”
funny, she hugs me now.
never in my youth.
conceal carry my trauma.
play it cool, keep it smooth.
use my words as a weapon.
daddy taught me how to shoot.
-target practice
it’s lonely as a ghost,
been trapped here for years.
lingering around,
mopping up your tears.
do you sense my presence?
can you feel me near?
if I dare make a sound,
will you even hear?
or am I just a whisper?
it’s never been quite clear.
promised to stay beside you,
my love was sincere.
-invisible
afraid to release
what's just a mist.
I must learn to respect
your lack of interest.
hard pill to swallow,
if i could just take the hint.
i hate letting go
of what doesn't exist.
-maybe i’m the problem
chasing you down as you flee,
why look back, just to see?
i’m gaining distance, is this what you need?
only now I realize, I'm your source of glow.
i feed your flame, you need me to grow.
without my warmth, will your embers persist?
or will they die out, because I was your wick?
I can go the distance, even do it quick.
didn’t think I could pass you but, tag, you're it.
so when your lost in the dark,
just look for my light.
for my flames eternal.
vivacious and bright.
-Ruled by the Sun.
you love her like a one-way mirror.
boosting your ego, making thoughts clearer.
she stands before you, but can you even see her?
soon her time will come, to be valued, to be known.
to be more than a reflection, to be art on her own.
-shattered
i feel as though i’m trapped
in a museum.
exhibits of my past.
meticulously preserved & on display.
forced to observe and to my dismay..
no exits.
-i don’t like it here
i am an esteemed professor.
teaching you how to love.
i am a well-traveled guide.
leading you to your full potential.
i am a warrior.
going to battle for your reputation.
i am an artist.
molding you into your greatest self.
i am a generous humanitarian.
donating my most precious piece to another women.
she sees no flaws.
enamored by your beauty.
a saw the hardened marble slab
i chiseled away for years.
only to reveal the beauty underneath for someone else to cherish.
-wasted potential
when we were pretending to be strangers, I loved you from afar.
when we were playing house,
I welcomed you with all my heart.
you left me here, with nothing but a scar.
sad and empty.
headed to a bar.
light up a cigarette.
fill me with tar.
I hope you think of me when you see a shooting star.
-maybe you loved me in a past life
only one day will i realize
the last thing i should feel is surprise
my personality has been downsized
because i chose to compromise
with a man wearing a disguise
your plan was always devised
but I’ll meet you at our spot
-king sized
you can fill your bed with anyone.
but who can fill your void?
you’ll never solve the puzzle
-sincerely, the missing piece.
ravenous for praise.
the apex predator.
you feed on the weak.
but never leave satisfied.
your greedy but insatiable.
devoured your feast
how can you be famished?
-taste me and see me why you’ve been starving
there’s things i wanna say to you.
but i’ll just let you be.
you have a way of always avoiding
-accountability
you’ve got walls up
but i know where the windows are
-can i come in?
maybe you do
love me
but only in the dark
when no one’s watching
-conditional.
i wish i was tired of you.
forgiveness, i can’t escape.
they say patience is a virtue,
but it’s a habit i can’t break.
-if i had a dollar for all the times i should have blocked you
the spot i had for you was soft.
made for you, a perfect fit.
delusion is wearing off.
disgust is starting to hit.
gave it all to you, at any cost.
-should have known it wasn’t permanent.
and just like that,
2 steps forward. 10 steps back.
why do i feel comfortable in this trap?
-i hope you run away and never come back
I don't wish you well, that would be too easy.
I wish you self-reflection.
-internal accountability.
i am the girl that learned
to do everything by myself.
to not depend on others to save me.
to fill up my time, or entertain me.
he said to go where i am appreciated, so i went to therapy.
-i’ll send you in the invoice.
in order to heal a wound,
you have to stop touching it.
-i have dermatillomania
thank you for reading! far from perfect but i took up writing as a way to express myself and it really helped me heal and process my emotions <3 thanks guys

After sixty-seven sessions of Curse of Strahd (read all about it here), it was time for a change. So into the wild we went...
My group is nearing the end of Hither, and along the way I've written summaries of each session ("What Just Happened?"), along with interesting/funny quotes from PCs/NPCs ("Certain Things Were Said"), and a list of new characters introduced that session ("Dramatis Personae").
My intention is to write the summaries for each of the five parts of the campaign in a different format. For the Witchlight Carnival, each summary was presented in verse (my own, no machine learning shortcuts!), using the metre and rhyming structure of various Lewis Carrol poems.
I'd like to share my summaries/poems with you all here, for posterity, and in the hope you'll find them entertaining.
For reference, the players are:

• Holafina (a harengon paladin who has lost three inches of height)
• Skerrek (a kobold druid who has lost the ability to lie)
• Arix (an owlin monk who has lost all sense of direction and is always hungry)
• Jexim (a brash fairy warlock who has lost his diary)
• Sylenos (a beatnik/slacker satyr rogue employed by the Carnival)

NOTE: Lewis Carroll was known to hide secret messages in his poems. I've done the same, revealing the campaign's big twist in one of the poems below. None of my players have picked up on it.

Part I: Welcome to the Witchlight

What Just Happened? (in the style of Jabberwocky)
’Twas twilight when the carnival Did open wide two golden gates, And those with tickets did arrive, Seeking things they had misplaced.
One harengon of curious size, A kobold with a slithy gait, An owlet who possessed two eyes As wide as Annam’s dinner plates.
Yet are we three or are we four? Let’s add vibrations rarefied: A Witchlight hand here to ensure That every guest is Satyrs-fied!
Enter now and taste the sounds, Feel these colours, smell those sights! Kaleidoscopic fun abounds This synaesthesiac’s delight!
Yet where’s the drama? Where’s the tension? Certainly we’ve had a switch (At least in here there is no mention Of that cad von Zarovich).
Instead let’s race a giant snail, Eat candied mushrooms by the pound, Or listen to a gnome assail The tightness of your mother’s gown.
Yet hark! A misadventure glum! Those not heroes please give berth! The best laid plans of love undone By Tasha’s wild unruly mirth
These mirrored halls! This desperate task, To find a luckless paramour A sweet-toothed lass with porcine mask That you could swear you’ve seen before…
’Twas twilight when the carnival Did open wide two golden gates And those with tickets did arrive, Now guided by the wiles of fate.
Dramatis Personae
Arix Specklefoot, a sweet-toothed owlin Holafina, a curiously short harengon Skerrek Tirael, a slithy kobold Sylenos, a cosmic satyr Nicholas Midnight, elderly goblin ticketmaster at the Witchlight Carnival Candlefoot, a mime and not by choice Rubin Sugarwood, a lovesick halfling Ween Sundapple, his laugh-sick paramour Glorange Turple, a poetry gnome
Certain Things Were Said
“I am worried about your ability to sense vibrations that I cannot.” - Skerrek Tirael
“Tymore, goddess of good fortune! Look well upon Shellymoo this day!” - Holafina
“Hate to say it, man, but that gnome really insulted your mother.” - Sylenos
“Snacks?” - Arix Specklefoot

Part II: Lost and Found

What Just Happened? (In the style of The Walrus and the Carpenter )
"The time has come," the Satyr said, "To talk of many things: Of poems—and props—and Jeremy Plum— Of crowns and pixie kings— And why things here keep getting lost— And what this pig-girl means."
"But wait a bit," the Owlin cried, "Before our minds do meet, For some of us are pretty spooked, And I would like a treat!" "No hurry!" said the Satyr, And kicked up cloven feet.
The Owlin and the Kobold Were walking close at hand, They smiled like anything to see The gates of Pixie Land. "If we could only stay a while,” They said, "it would be grand!"
The Satyr sighed so sulkily, Because he thought that Plum Had got no business to be there When all was said and done. (“It's rude of him," the Kobold said, "To try and spoil our fun!")
"Oi, Satyr," said the pixie king, "You've had a pleasant run! Should you be getting back to work?” But answer came there none And this was scarcely odd, because He had real beef with Plum.
Now Arix made a hamster friend Who offered up some clues. The others tried the riding-pug: A pleasant thing to do! (“The pug is fine," the Rabbit said, "But he’s no Shellymoo.”)
"How nice of you to come!” said Plum, "You all are oh-so kind!" Puddlemud said nothing as His teeth began to grind. The Owlin and the Kobold cheered: “That was our FAVORITE ride!”
“A wooden crown," fair Jexim said, Is what we need to come Our way along with golden paint For some un-princely sum.” The others stared, confused, and said: “Now where did YOU come from?”
‘Twas then the party dared approach The famous Mystery Mine Where psychedelic spectacles Broke the Satyr’s mind. (“I really wish,” Zephixo sighed, “You wouldn’t ride while high”).
Next Dirla pulled all kind of things Out of his wagon/portal: Bottles, bunnies, candlesticks, A shining blade of vorpal (Incidentally, there’s a word That kind of rhymes with purple).
“If you put your mind to it And searched for long enough, Do you suppose," the party said, "That you could find our stuff?" "I doubt it," said dear Dirlagraun, And gave a bitter huff.
Then he gave the Harengon The greatest gift by far: A copy of “Gnome On The Run” And bid them au revoir (Morgie would have laughed at that While trying to type slash “R”).
“I do believe,” the Satyr said, “That something is not right, And think we ought to pay a call To Messers Witch and Light.” “I think we ought,” the Owlin said “To first stop for a bite.”
But in their way old Thaco stood, A clown grown grim and surly: “Rabbit! Owlin! Pixie! Skink! You aren’t allowed to be-“ The Fairy interrupted him: “Wait, WHAT did you call me?”
Poor Thaco cried: “Things move too fast! And have since my debut In R-1: To the Aid of Falx From Nineteen Eighty Two! And if you’d seen what I have seen Then you’d smoke bubbles, too!”
Finally he stepped aside, At last the way was clear. The Satyr ambled stealthily With open eyes and ears And pressed them to a wagon large To see what he could hear.
"The time has come," Witch and Light said, "To talk of things galore Of prizes—plans—and kenku pests— and ever so much more— But first we’d better ask inside Those spying at our door!”
Dramatis Personae
Jexim, a puzzled, puzzling fairy Jeremy Plum, operator of the Pixie Kingdom and bestower of silly names Biscuit, a talkative hamster Pinecone, a riding-pug Zephixo, dwarven inventor and mastermind behind the Mystery Mine Ernest Wilde, middle-aged calliope master currently inhabiting the body of his pet monkey Marigold, his button-collecting goblin assistant Dirlagraun, a kindly but inefficient displacer beast, minder of lost children and property Thaco, a bubble-smoking clown who is long past his prime
Certain Things Were Said
"Worried I was, with talk of missing supper." - Arix Specklefoot
"Could you not just purchase a new pair?" - Skerrek Tirael "Not like this, man." - Sylenos
"If you'd see the things I've seen, you'd smoke a bubble pipe, too." - Thaco
"Is this it?" - Dirlagraun "NO." - Everyone

Part III: On the Trail of the Kenku

What Just Happened? (In the style of The Hunting of the Snark)
"Where the heck is our stuff? We just want to know This Harengon ain't getting bigger, Arix has no idea of where to go And lies send poor Skerrek a-quiver!"
"Would you get back to work?" Mister Light cried, Twirling his cane with a smile, "Otherwise find where this kenku pest hides; She's cramping this carnival's style!"
"Well, that was a bust," said our heroes, conferring, "Anyone got a suggestion? If we need to pull strings to get back our things Then there are some folk we should question."
"Time's an illusion, free will a delusion!" Sylenos' mentor decreed, "Get a contusion battling occlusions, Or relax and have some of this…wait, what was I saying?"
Sylenos proclaimed: "A genius flawed!" "A man/dragon ahead of his time." Skerrek looked at his claws; Holafina at paws, And the other two just rolled their eyes
"A centuar I'm not! I just made a bad trade The "Cloppinton's" just serendipitous, Now lend me your aid and you'll maybe persuade These horsies to drop some significance."
Then they took to the skies on a dragonfly ride (Holafina and Skerrek abreast), When you're this high there's just nowhere to hide (And to which Sylenos attests)
Now Skerrek honed on a runaway gnome Who was fleeing the carnage with glee, Holafina struck home and that's it for this poem For the gnome was the kenku, you see.
Dramatis Personae
Mister Witch, a matter-of-fact elf, devoid of pretense Mister Light, a flamboyant elf, luminous and coy Burly, a philosophical, pumpkin-helmeted bugbear Mandragon, a seeker of truth (and not much else) Diana Cloppington, a centaur who is apparently not, operator of the Carousel Northwind, a very forthcoming treant, operator of the Dragonfly Rides
Certain Things Were Said
"There’s something weird going on. For some reason everyone thinks I don’t do anything around the carnival." - Sylenos
"It's true, Miss Cloppinton! We've ALL lost things." - Arix Specklefoot
"Wait, when did we have biscuits?" - Jexim

Part IV: Through the Looking Glass

What Just Happened? (In the style of A Boat Beneath a Sunny Sky)
Now hear the Kenku’s strange reply (As Arix struggles to apply Triage to these pixie guys)
Asking questions, getting nought Set her on a different course: High sabotage without remorse!
And what has got her so irate Is what’s she trying to intimate: Zybilna has been quiet of late!
Ignore the rest, and let’s take flight To confront dear Witch and Light (Surprisingly, they’re quite contrite)
To keep the carnival in motion A tapestry of lies was woven: A deal with the Hourglass Coven!
Who take from those who can’t afford Entrance through the Witchlight’s doors Miscellanea adored
So THAT’s who taken all your junk! Time to find these Hourglass punks! Which way to this Feywild dump?
But first we’ll make a brief aside So Candlefoot can vocalise His mermaid love (now legalised)
Now the pair can tie the knot And while we’re passing time why not Ride the fabled Bubble Pot?
Yet ere you all are translocated (Everybody’s breath now bated) Arix must be coronated!
The time of truth has come at last Hesitation as you pass Though the hallowed looking glass
Are you afraid to lose your minds? What lies ahead? What lies behind? What do you expect to find?
Will Skerrek ever fabricate? Or Holafina emulate A bunny’s median height and weight?
Shall Jexim’s memoirs find acclaim? Can Monty locate Bobbitt Fane? (…hang on, that’s a different game)
Does Arix ever find the door? And will Sylenos flee the cause To study unemployment law?
Dramatis Personae
Kettlesteam, a mischievous patron of Zybilna Paleesha, a mellifluous mermaid, now reunited with Candlefoot
Certain Things Were Said
“Sylenos, perhaps in eight years you can come back and find your lost employment.” - Skerrek
“Ask me where the exit is.” - Arix Specklefoot “Where is the exit?” - Mister Light “I don’t know.” - Arix

BS 35M. WS 35F. Together 8 and married 5. Two kids; 2 and 4. **TL:DR: She had a long term sporadic EA + digital exchange with ex. Found by checking Snapchat and finding cleavage pic saved by him and his saved comment on a video she sent the same day saying "best day of my life"** Have been lurking so thanks. I think I know enough and am ready as I'll ever be to put it down in writing, so time I made a throwaway account and joinied. (Edit: got pretty long. Not going to drop it all in one post, so will cut out a bunch of unfinished stuff for now.)
Some history
There was prior infidelity on her part (continued sexting and stringing along other guys) early in our relationship that we got over thanks to love bombing, some rug sweeping, and acceptance of her motive. That she got in the habit and didn't think I was committed so didn't want to give up options. Fuck tinder for what it has done to us. It wasn't resolved in the most healthy and secure way, I know, but I believed she was sincere. Don't need to tell me that I should have bailed at that point because I have to live with those regrets. We had a great relationship before the stress of kids got added. Worked well together. Our differences covered each other's shortcomings. Got married after a few years. Part way through the first pregnancy things took a turn. Her anxiety plus body image issues plus the awkwardness of pregnancy sex combined to turn a failed seasion into an issue. The pressure of knowing that failing to finish or else it'd send her spiraling took all the fun out of it and worsened things. Didn't matter how many times I explained that if I successfully avoid going too soon to prolong sex that it can get desensitized and make finishing difficult. I told her I still wanted to and found her attractive and liked having fun even if I didn't finish. Didn't matter. The frequency of sex quickly went down hill. Our first was born just before COVID lock downs. I'll always be thankful that I could spend so much time at home helping raise her. I've always been a night person so I'd stay up for the whole night shift working remote, get a few hours of sleep between wake ups at the end, catch morning meetings, then sleep until noon. Wife got uninterrupted sleep from ~10pm-6am. We could spend time together and take turns in the afternoon/evening. We never got to the point of a full on argument before pregnancy, but when it comes to kids, it's a lot harder to just roll over and let the other person have their way when you think they're being unreasonable or safety is a factor. The fights got way worse. A common one was room temperature. I argued for 68-72 because of sids. She felt cold so wanted it to be like 75-76 + bundle her up in layers. She admits now that it was postpartum hormones/depression, but wouldn't admit it or accept help back then. She said she didn't feel depressed or have any self harm thoughts. I said it can present in mood swings and anxiety too and she should get help. She didn't and just took it out on me. The resentment stuck around. The sex didn't come back. The rest of the intimacy started to dry up too. Eventually our daughter got older and life started getting easier. We had always said we would want 2 kids. I expressed my worries that we would go downhill again during/shortly after. She promised that it would be different. (In for a penny, in for a pound?) I agreed so long as we could stick it out and get through the tough baby part and get back to normal after they're a couple years old and the hormomal/sleep/constant care stuff of babies settled out. She had gone to part time during the first pregnancy. When she got pregnant with the 2nd she quit to stay at home full time. The extra demands of childcare were hurting my work performance and I had a bad review so wanted to refocus. Work from home due to COVID + new baby and being at hand to cover whenever she needed wasn't working well. Of course I was let go not long into the pregnancy. I scrambled and had a new position with a 50% raise and $50k of relocation money starting within 3 months of when let go. It more than covered her lost salary and enabled is to do a move we intended anyway, into a better school district and bigger house. I handled all of the moving and logistics in order to use a lot of the relocation money to cover real estate agent fees and a nice apartment to bridge the gap. Sold the old house, bought a new dream house, moved everything we own twice (storage units + apartment in the middle) with some help from hired labor on each end to move big stuff and boxes. She just had to take care of our oldest while pregnant, which is a lot, but also didn't have to do pretty much anything for the move. We were moved in to the new house and settled a month before our second was born. Our kids are absolutely amazing. Smart, fun, sweet, funny, and I love watching them develop and experience life. Love them so much and I'm thankful to have been so involved in raising them. The toll is huge, sleep and personal time suffered, but so worth it. It was as much (or more) rough than predicted. We fight. She goes on resentment fueled text rants triggered by just about anything. usually complaining about me not doing enough. Sometimes about not appreciating her enough or supporting her enough. Often while I'm at work. We had almost a full year of no sex, from one time in the middle of pregnancy thru birth, my vasectomy, and ~6-7 months of newborn phase. Not even a hand job or blow job or anything. Normal routine is I work 4x10's + an 8 every other Friday, get home around 6, take over care for our oldest until I get her down for bed around 8. She takes care of the youngest until he's asleep at 6:30 or 7:00 and is done for the night after that. Watches TV and goes to bed around 8. I stay up until around 11-12 to make food to eat, do all the dishes, and do whatever else is needed, like bills, clean, grocery orders, maintenance, home improvement projects, or work remotely. I'll sometimes stay up later to relax at the expense of sleep. We both get up at about the same time, around 7:30. Doesn't seem to register that my "break" is taking over child care and if I want some time to relax it has to be at the expense of sleep. Told her she has the same option I do of sleeping less if she wants more breaks to do adult things. Weekends she "needs a break because she never gets one" so I end up taking over the kids until like 1 while she takes a walk/works out/takes a bath/whatever. Probably worth mentioning that we pay for a YMCA membership that has drop in childcare. Then I go out to do yardwork, maintenance, home improvement stuff, etc. one example from last summer was doing over 400ft of 6' vinyl privacy fencing. 12000+ lb of concrete. Quoted $35k but did it for $9k. And yet she still acts like I don't do enough. Even pollutes our oldest (4) by ranting about how Daddy is lazy while doing pissed off cleaning while the youngest naps. Not much around that will get me pissed quicker than being lectured by my children, because I can just see their brain working to reconcile it in their head and it's toxic. About ready to file for divorce on that count alone. Details on confrontation, response, and what has happened since will have to wait for another post. It's getting late here and I just want to get something out there

Longtime lurker and was looking for a safe place to post. I feel like I lost my friend, S, once she had a kid. I personally don’t like children and S knows this. Before she got married, she didn’t want kids either and would repeatedly exclaim how much she hated them. Now, S keeps thinking she’ll change my mind on being childfree (since she changed her mind) and even made me the godmother of her child.
Lately, it seems like the only thing she talks about is her kid, how expensive it is to be a mom, and all the extracurriculars she’s signed her kid up for. She keeps telling me I should have a kid. I feel like we don’t have anything in common anymore. S sends unsolicited pictures of her kid to me and expects me to gush over them even though I don’t like kids, which she knows. She got upset when I wouldn’t take time off work to come to her kid’s birthday party since her kid’s godfather, her husband’s friend, was making the time to come. However, the kid won’t even remember whether I was there or not and I only have limited time off work, which I would like to use for things I actually enjoy.
Since S first announced her pregnancy and gave birth, I’ve been the one to make visits to see her. I think I’ve visited her four times and she’s reciprocated once (we live in different states). When S did visit, every time she saw a child she would fuss over them and said it was her maternal instinct now, then proceeded to ask if I agreed that children were cute. I reminded S I do not like children and do not find them cute and would rather not go near them. I’m scheduled to visit her this month but am somewhat dreading it as she likely wants me to fuss over her child.
Before S had a kid, we had planned a fun girls trip to another country. At this point, it will likely never happen. After she got pregnant, she promised we’d still go on our trip after the baby was a year old. When I brought it up recently, she mentioned her husband also wanted to visit the country and mentioned bringing her kid too. I told her no, that this was supposed to be a girls’ trip, not a family trip with me tagging along. S relented, but when I tried to pin down a date for the trip, she said it was too soon to leave her two year old child to go to another country for a week and that she was going to take them on a family trip around that time. I don’t want to keep putting my plans on hold, so I’m going to go on the trip with another friend instead, especially since she’s become a helicopter parent and likely will not want to leave her child to go on a trip for the foreseeable future.
S has also jokingly said if things go south with her husband, she and her child can live with me and I can be her sugar mama since I make a good salary. I do not find this joke funny at all, as even if only a joke - why should I have to financially support her and her decision to have a child, but she seems to find it hilarious and has made this joke numerous times.
I feel like we may have reached the end of the line for our friendship and it makes me sad. Do I just let it drift apart at this point or should I try to maintain our friendship? I hope she can make time for herself and be a person, not just a mom, again, but am unsure if I should wait or give up. Am I being selfish? Thanks for providing this safe place for childfree people to share their thoughts and feelings.

TLDR uBPD Mum wrote her twin daughters a birthday poem but sent it twelve days late, full of innacuracies and with a request to visit one of them. The request is for a fictional exhibition in a specific date range. She forwarded her original message to the other twin without to editing out the visit request or making an attempt to cover the fact it was written for the first twin and sent to the other as an after thought.
Context A birthday poem sent to me an hour after it was sent to my twin sister. It was also 12 days after our actual birthday, neither of us heard from uBPD mum on the day (I've asked her not to contact me but she thinks that my sister & I are 1 entity so even though my sister is still in contact with her, mum treats her like she is not). My sister (Twin1) trained in fine art in the city she now works in. She is not currently making art so has no idea what exhibition uBPD mum refers to in the poem. I have marked lies/inaccuracies with an * I've asterisked the line about being a proud mum and gran because if she was so proud, why does she make no mention of wanting to see her 2 grand sons on this trip to the city to see my sister at her exhibition? She hasn't seen her grandsons in at least a year despite visiting near by their city in our small country twice last year. She didn't even tell my sister she was in the area until my sister phoned to wish uBPD mum happy birthday on her birthday February this year.
Poem
Twin1 and Twin2 38 today * That's just not possible no way Where has the time gone Times flies sadly that's so true Doesn't seem that long ago when Myself and Twin2 went to the zoo.
You were and are my sunshine of Hometown on Gala My beautiful twin daughters living in bonnie Hometown Bay A prouder mum I could not be how you both excelled and now you both have your own family You get to experience the love and joy like I had and still have as I reflect on my wonderful family tree When you hurried home excitedly to show all the things you had lovingly made for me
You were always caring and sharing Even at such a young age so helpful too. Remember girls I was on the phone to uBPD Gran When you flushed Twin2 nappy down the loo I was panic stricken and mortified when the neighbour below said it had flooded her too.
I loved my plants* .it was a not easy to maintain with two Mischieves monkeys who tipped them upside down . It was funny but I also did frown Before you knew it we were back to laughing and getting along Happy again and full of song
Love shack was your favourite tune I loved that song too you could sing it to the moon Love shack baby love shack Oh to hear you sing that song would bring It all right back
The time we all got such a fright Twin 1 When you accidentally bumped into a light Well lamp post * Out of the three of us who was startled the most?
You were fine ,you got a war wound scar Was it the left or right side I can't remember I think it was your right eye It was so long ago at the time you were very shy
Twin 2 walked into a gate * I was dumstruck only seconds too late* You got a scar on your eyes too By then I was beside myself and did not know what to do !
Almost in the space of a year You each have a scar by your eye Which side they are on your eye is unclear Now you parents yourself you know what I mean How quickly things can happen Even when your close by to the scene
Bless the wee lady above is in Hometown She used to shout girls you whoo seconds later it was raining milkyways all over you I could only chuckle when I realised I too Along with uBPD dister we went to our neighbour for our daily rations of sweeties too * And to this day I believe my mum never knew.
Remember when you got up early and Oh my you got hold of the butter I think I was in a flutter Butter in the rods of the Wendy house it was everywhere If I recall righghtly it was in your hair.
You used to trick people switching places * Sometimes you did trip up on your laces You tried to fool me but that was not so easy * However tricking your pals and strangers was easy peasy.*
The things you have done this uBPD Mum and gran could not be more proud of you You won a camera for your ambulance picture Twin2 you designed the school logo in highschool too Is there no end to your talents You both excelled and followed your career Which I never regretted not being able to As th minute I knew I was expecting I always prioritised you* and am a proud mum of twins with 5 wonderful grandchildren too*
The trips we went to beech and picnics with aunt The endless pictures are wonderful memories of happy times with you I still have her special multi coloured umbrella Where we often seemed shelter under it too
So many more memories this is some of them I just want to ask you Twin 1 can I come with my friend M or F and see your exhibition* city between 23 rd and 29 th Sept I love seeing all that you can do and have done
Your pictures in the cafe The story about wellies and where they travelled from faraway I believe it was Canada And you made a wellington cast Now it's a focal point for tourists and everyone to see.*
I often look at the screen you both made me made before I moved country All the gifts over the years cards and mementos each one speaks words to me When you gave me the picture and chair for my birthday .
That incredible exhibition in the gallery when you made a clear curtain and even there there is a story
I understand if you say no don't come .I hope and pray one day we will all Be together again surrounded by my family.Until that joyous day comes remember I carry love in my heart for you all eternally❤️

I have spent a decent amount of time on various dating apps and have been on many dates over the years. I don’t use them anymore for various reasons but couple of advices here in case someone finds them useful.
A dating app not being able to offer you a date doesn’t say much about you, you viscerally need to start believing that. These platforms are theoretically designed to maximise the number of matches which can keep the platform’s business model up and running.
If you are someone who doesn’t get a lot of matches, trust me, the day you get 50 matches, you won’t know what to do with them. You won’t be able to have one real conversation with an individual and just fidget over all that information overload. Women go through this all the time! She doesn’t know what great things you have going on in your life or how funny you are by looking at your pictures, however great they are, since the 10 guys on your left and on your right will also have some nice pictures.
To get laid or to get a date you need to focus on Activation and Conversion. By activation I mean, maximise the number of matches and by conversion I mean, converting those matches into dates. Conversion is easy: reply fast, be interested, swear not to flirt or talk about sex until you guys meet in person and you know she is very much into you, be or pretend to be confident, and have fun on your first date like you would with your college friend. Never ask her for anything! Not her name, age, how was her day or if she is interested in going out. Just swear to not ask for anything. Just be super interested in them and talk about any random shit you care about. If you guys hit it off, she will tell you her name, address, insta handle, and her bra size. Activation is slightly difficult but try to be very sincere in your bio, experiment with puns, poems, show your artsy side, your dancing skills, avoid group photos and use videos if you can. Here you have to make sure you give out a confident vibe with subtle hints of you having a life. Your photos, your choice of words, your music choices, your dressing sense will all optimize this.
Finally, be more empathetic towards women, try to see them for what they are, standard human beings. Its not a fucking movie and no woman is looking for a kabir singh, they want a normal guy because/if they are normal.
Regardless, dating platforms are taking away the self-respect from men by making them beg, and the personality from women by ensuring they don’t need it.
Bonus tip: Delete your accounts, wait for the next time you are super happy, feeling funny/confident naturally and setup an account then. A likeable you in real life will reflect somehow on your profile too!
Stay proud, happy dating! :)

Edit: If you are going to comment on the length of this post, please don't. This is not a simple snark but rather an actual critical think piece about feminism and Taylor Swift.

Introduction

Pertaining to Taylor Swift, "Female Rage" has deviated from its intended meaning after Swift debuted a new performance of The Tortured Poets Department during the Eras Tour. Now, according to Swift's use of the phrase, female rage is interpreted as public backlash against Swift's dating choices rather than as a response to the broader injustices against women and women's rights. This post examines Taylor Swift's flawed feminism, philanthropy, branding, and the controversial trademark petition for the phrase "Female Rage: The Musical". Swift's background as an entertainer, indeterminate politics, and alignment with capitalism over feminism pervades her legacy, again threatening her public tolerance as not just an individual but as a brand.

Once Upon a Female Rage...

If you were cognizant in the early 2010's, you've heard countless jabs at Taylor Swift in the media. Magazines, radio, or online. Music critics did not take her seriously as a songwriter; parents put a woman on an unrealistic pedestal as the ideal role model for their children; she dated too much and used men as lyrical fodder. No matter the story, it inevitably spread, conjoined with everyone's respective opinions, and you'd be left to wonder, "Why does everyone hate this girl so much?"
Taylor's target demographic has always been young or adolescent girls, more so when Swift herself was one. She made music that spoke to the awkward misfit, cultivating a para-social relationship with fans on MySpace, then later twitter, Instagram, and YouTube, where Taylor posted relatable vlogs showcasing the life of a homegrown American girl. Taylor had a delayed public "growing up" and, compared to her female pop contemporaries, Swift never "gratuitously sexualized her image and seems pathologically averse to controversy" (and, apparently, never even had a sip of alcohol until she turned 21). She was more than happy to spin this narrative to allude to an inherent moral superiority above other women in the industry (Better Than Revenge, heard of it?), engaging in the very slut-shaming that she herself endured (the Madonna and Whore archetypes). The victim complex arose with the need to prove Taylor as a different type of pop girl. Based upon her holy and clean image, Swift had been dubbed "a feminist's nightmare", and that "[To Swift] other girls are obstacles; undeserving enemies who steal Taylor’s soulmates with their bewitching good looks and sexual availability." Feminism and Tennessee-Christian country values don't exactly mix, it seems.
Years later, Swift befriended Lena Dunham and thus experienced white feminism osmosis, where Dunham taught Swift that real feminists defend rapists, makes insensitive jokes about rape and abortion, and prioritize all-white casts. Swift then declared herself a feminist in 2014, saying,

"Becoming friends with Lena – without her preaching to me, but just seeing why she believes what she believes, why she says what she says, why she stands for what she stands for – has made me realize that I’ve been taking a feminist stance without actually saying so."

I suppose the male-centric songwriting subject that permeates Swift's discography contained covert feminism and that we just didn't see that. Perhaps, the "Bad Blood" song and music video were written only in jest and not about poor Katy Perry, for Swift, as a feminist, would "never make it a girl fight" or tear other women down (though all Katy did was date your terrible ex-boyfriend and allegedly steal three backup dancers from your tour). In 2013, Swift said, in response to Tina Fey and Amy Poehler's joke towards her serial dating, "There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women."
There was that time in 2015 Taylor said that Nicki Minaj was "invited to any stage [she is] on" (as if Taylor expects to have access to every stage, award, and platform that Nicki might not otherwise have as a black female artist...yikes!) in response to Nicki's criticism of the white + thin VMA nominations. Later, Nicki responded with confusion, as Swift continued, "It’s unlike you to pit women against each other. Maybe one of the men took your slot..". Of course, this 'beef' was 'squashed' when Nicki performed with Taylor at the VMAs, with Nicki quite literally only having 38 seconds of stage time without Taylor. Maybe all that parading around with a legion of famous white women - similar to the way Taylor might've done with her numerous 1989-era handbags - was in fact a stance against gender inequality, and that this display of "girl power" should be enough to constitute Swift as a feminist icon.
Even while Swift says that Dunham informed her feminist outlook, she dances around the exact contents of those beliefs: "what she believes, what she says, what she stands for" is not exactly insightful towards what beliefs Swift might have inherited. Taylor never broaches women's rights topics such femicide, FGM, forced pregnancy & marriage, sex trafficking, women in slavery, women's financial and political oppression, women's educational rights, women's health, or women's autonomy, so we can assume she only gives a fuck about "girls supporting girls" (whatever that fucking means).
Despite some questionable (and sometimes vindictive) behavior, Taylor as a young woman did not deserve every media lashing that she received. We cannot deny that most headlines and criticisms perpetuated a misogynistic rhetoric which has plagued Swift for a majority of her career. Acknowledging events such as the development of her ED, her sexual assault trial, "Famous" lyric and MV depiction of Taylor, and the explicit Twitter deepfakes, for example, as both disgusting and unfortunate things that happened to a young woman in Hollywood does not negate the fact that Taylor is mostly a performative feminist.

Get Your Fucking Ass Up and Be a Philanthropist, It Seems Like Nobody Wants to Be a Philanthropist These Days

In 2013, Taylor Swift cut the ribbon at the grand opening of the Taylor Swift Education Center at the Country Music Hall of Fame in Nashville, Tennessee. The donation amount - $4 million - was the largest individual artist gift ever donated to the Country Music Hall of Fame, which is, of course, mentioned on Swift's website. The two-story facility features three classrooms, an instrument room, and an interactive children's exhibit gallery. Swift also performed at "All for the Hall" charity shows and has donated numerous artifacts from her career (such as notable guitars, tour costumes, etc) to the museum.
This was over 11 years ago, and it is still the only notable philanthropic contribution Taylor Swift has made.
For a woman of her net worth and stature, and a woman who recognizes the difficulties for women in film and music, you would think that Taylor Swift might establish a scholarship program for women to study the arts or something. Perhaps Swift might even consider becoming a member of organizations that support female artists, or one that supports LGBTQ+ causes (since she is now proudly an ally), yet she remains superficial with her graces. Broader philanthropy, such as donating relief aid to Palestinian women or women impacted by violence and discrimination will probably never receive any financial support from Miss Swift because then she'd be using her money towards philanthropies involving anyone but white entertainers.
She even says herself in Miss Americana, "My entire moral code as a kid and now is a need to be thought of as 'good'." Well, she's certainly thought of as good, though her actions say otherwise. She's more than happy to do a vaguely altruistic song and dance for a clip-worthy interview quote and mass appeasement, then fuck off to one of her mansions on a 20 minute private jet flight, rather than actually contribute to anything pertaining to the causes she has endorsed. Yet, far too many people continue to give a woman such as her their money, time, and energy, and she hoards these resources to herself.

I Like Some of the Taylor's Songs, But What the Fuck Does She Know About Feminism?

Swift continued with her self-proclaimed feminist campaign, positioning herself as a political activist and LGBTQ+ ally in the Miss Americana documentary. The primary focus of the documentary consists of the sexual assault trial, Andrea Swift's cancer diagnosis, Taylor's ED and body dysmorphia, media scrutiny, and, largely, finally speaking up about her politics publicly, mostly her opposition to the 2018 Tennessee Republican senate candidate, Marsha Blackburn, and Blackburn's beliefs. Swift says, following a scene discussing her experience during the trial,

"I just couldn't really stop thinking about it. And I just thought to myself, next time there is any opportunity to change anything, you had better know what you stand for and what you want to say."

We must ask ourselves, though: when has Swift ever spoken up to change anything? Okay, pulling her entire catalogue from Spotify because they didn't pay their artists enough and similarly pulling her catalogue from Apple Music are changes that she leveraged due to her revenue potential and power, but they are not pertinent to the average woman's rights. Moreover, these are issues that directly impacted Taylor's income, which was enough reason for her to protest in the first place. Swift has sold the most units for a female artist in first week sales, is the first female artist with 100k monthly Spotify listeners, is the first female artist to win the Album of the Year Grammy 4 times, and is the first female artist to do X, Y, and Z, all while being inoffensive and family-friendly to boot. The actual Taylor Swift seems unwilling to compromise the brand of Taylor Swift by contributing in meaningful ways to feminist causes, especially if it is for women outside of America and Hollywood.
The reason political anthems such as "The Man" and "Only the Young" of the Lover era feel disingenuous and corporate is because, well, it is. Taylor has taken every opportunity to advance her career or public image at the expense of other women. What is truly genuine to Taylor's outlook on other women is vying for male attention, taking down female competition, and vocalizing feminist injustices only if they directly impact her and her money. Some will argue that it's satisfactory for a woman with such a huge platform to even TALK about feminism, but that just isn't enough. It's even less impressive when you candidly look at the scope of her feminist lens: "If I was the man, then I'd be THE MAN", or "I really resent the ‘Be careful, buddy, she’s going to write a song about you’ angle, because it trivialises what I do", and, of course, "We all got crowns". Feminism, but only when it happens to me. It gets worse when you look at Taylor's track record of copying other famous women and removing other female artists as potential threats to her pop prowess.
It's good for PR to align yourself with certain blanket feminist and political beliefs, therefore good for branding, therefore good for ticketing and merchandise sales, therefore good for business. And Taylor Swift is a business.
She's not a feminist. Taylor Swift is a capitalist.

I Can't Pay Those Sweatshop Workers a Livable Wage or Benefits! How Else Would I Make My Billions?

Recently, Taylor's team filed to trademark the phrase "Female Rage: The Musical" after Taylor said during Paris N1 of the Eras Tour,

"So you were the first ones to see The Tortured Poets at the Eras Tour...or as I like to call it, 'Female Rage: The Musical'."

This trademark petition was filed last week on Saturday, and news comes about just as numerous unofficial fan-made merch designs have cropped up with this phrase plastered on Fruit of the Loom basics. I'm of the opinion Swift's team motioned for a trademark so that they can send out cease & desists to all those that make knockoff merch, which disrupts potential sales for Bravado, UMG's choice merchandising company; however, since it was filed earlier, perhaps Swift has bigger plans with the bizarre use of the gendered phrase. One Swiftie referred to the phrase "female rage" as "a funny Eras Tour joke". Could it be a possible fourth version of the Eras Tour Movie? Whatever the reason, the motion to capitalize off of such a concept is disgusting, but not unsurprising, for a woman that profits on her vain feminism.
Swift, through her company, TAS Rights Managements, has also trademarked over 200 phrases, including "1989", where she owns the property rights to this calendar year on keychains, phone cases, sunglasses, stationary, bags, beverage ware, clothing, entertainment services, your subconscious, and, of course, Christmas ornaments.
The vapid consumerism in Swiftie culture is, frankly, disgusting. Bravado's sustainability statement is non-existent, the quality control is abysmal, and the materials they use are horrible. The materials, such as acrylic and polyester, are made from petrochemicals. This means they are non-renewable, shed microplastics, and are quite toxic in production. The manufacturing process to make all of those lazy-rushed Eras Tour logo graphic tees is a huge blow to environmental well-being. Apparently, though, Swifties don't give a fuck. They sell out products in seconds and either have to face the manufactured scarcity or buy from a scalper that resells for 200% of the already ridiculous retail price. This doesn't include the environmental impact of vinyl records, CD, and cassette production, of which Taylor produces many variants that sell unsustainable amounts.
If we're talking about women's rights violations, why is no one acknowledging the women that work in the inhumane sweatshop conditions that have to pump out fugly t-shirts and hats? The millions of plastic microfiber dander they are inhaling, or the toxic dyes that touch their bare skin? Are they being compensated fairly for their skilled labour and are they in safe working environments? Do these women have minimal bargaining power, and do they have authority over their worker's rights? Is Taylor Swift female raging at their injustices? Does Taylor Swift ever feels bad that her wealth was built on the backs of women of color, disadvantaged by the demands of the global economy and garment industry? Do you think she ever says a little white feminist prayer for them before she goes to sleep at night?
What's even crazier is not that Taylor herself doesn't care, it's that Swifties don't care. There CANNOT BE ethical billionaires. You only make a billion dollars if you are exploiting other human beings for capital gain. Based on public perception of the possible "Female Rage: The Musical" trademark, it seems like Swifties are already asking for merch with this phrase. "If Taylor made it, I'd buy it." Oh, cool. So not only do you champion Miss Swift's avarice and billionaire status, but you also are unashamed to admit to your blind consumption of her music and merchandise, no matter where they might originate in production or sincerity. Just as Swift takes and takes and takes, Swifties' consumerism of Taylor Swift cannot be quelled.
The tortured artist's most vulnerable and sincere poetry...available now in 21 different versions!

I Am Tortured Poet, Hear Me Whinge

Look - even if Taylor's intention is to characterize TTPD as more "tortured" and "angry", the main thread of the album is "I was ghosted by my decade-long situationship with a controversial indie boy and my fucking stupid fans wrote a 'Speak Up Now' open letter prompting me to drop him" anger, which is adequately expressed in the lyrics and performances. The extent of Taylor's "female rage" on TTPD is on tracks such as "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?", which contends with relentless media scrutiny; "But Daddy I Love Him", where Swift firmly states she'll date whoever she likes no matter how "Sarahs and Hannahs" may react; and "The Albatross", a track mythologizing her reputation and the consequences of dating her. Of course, these coincide with deep psychological wounds that formed during Swift's early years in the media, and so, from her feminist perspective, these subjects tackle the misogyny and double standards that she faced.
Yet Taylor Swift still has no grounds to be claiming that TTPD best exemplifies female rage and therefore she, in the context of this album, is female rage incarnate. As the daughter of a stock broker and mutual fund marketing executive, Taylor was born into wealth and allowed privileges like trips and subsequent relocation to Nashville all so that she might get a record deal. Her father even invested at least $120,000 into the then-fledgling label, Big Machine Records, which ensured Taylor's place with Borchetta after leaving her dead-end development deal with Sony. The fact that her parents were able to buy her a fucking brand new guitar for Christmas and pay for music lessons says so much about the financial security and safety of her childhood.
Money is privilege and protection, and despite Swift's experiences with misogyny and loser boyfriends, she does not know what female rage is.
Her rage is derived from her frustrations with her obsessive fans pulling the moral superiority card on Taylor in response to her rebound with Matty Healy. That's literally it. She's just pissed that the monster she created is no longer obediant, it's become a feral, sovereign entity that depletes the world of its natural resources and thinks it is more intelligent than it actually is because it's mommy has started to talk to it with big words. Apparently, 'illicit', 'elegy', 'nonchalant', and 'precocious' are considerably big words for the oafish monster, and I find it strange that this level of literacy is present in a group of fans that allegedly have GPAs of 3.5 or higher, but I digress.
Taylor Swift has never been one paycheck away from destitution. Taylor Swift has never experienced racial discrimination. She may have instances of gender discrimination, but she possesses the ideal white, blonde American beauty standard and therefore reaps the benefits of being a conventionally attractive woman. Taylor Swift has sufficient social capital. Taylor Swift is a billionaire woman prolonging her victimhood though she, as a woman, has mostly had control over her image and music (unlike her contemporaries). Taylor Swift is NOT entitled to be championed for her "female rage", nor should she be. Taylor Swift has never even been the struggling artist, for fuck's sake. I don't give a fuck if she's trying to fill the empty lunch tables of her past. Taylor Swift purporting herself, her unpolished album, and her lukewarm feminism as a musical bleeding with female rage is asinine.

Sigh Try and Come For My Job, Poors

Out there in the world right now is a 23-year-old woman, a recent college grad, who works as a barista. She has to wake up and get ready to go into a minimum wage job because she cannot get a job in her field. She doesn't have healthcare benefits or sick time, so she has to go into work no matter how she's feeling. All day long she is berated by vicious customers and creepy men, and, exhausted from being on her feet, she knows she has to go home to her shitty roommate that never does the dishes and her roommate's shitty dog. To comfort herself, she considers getting a treat, but thinks against it when she remembers that matcha lattes cost $15 and they taste like milky dirt. She knows that she needs to buy groceries this week, and so the woman resolves to go home, but notices that her gas tank is low. She goes to put gas in the car, but the pump stops at $27.86 because that's all that she has in her checking account. The woman, bereft and reeling, sinks into the driver's seat. "Well," she thinks, her head in her hands, "at least I don't have Taylor Swift's job. I just couldn't imagine."
Fame is somewhat of a choice. If at any moment Taylor feels that she is misunderstood, misconstrued, or overwhelmed by public opinion, she can LEAVE the public eye - Lord knows she has the retirement fund and residuals to do so. In "I Can Do It With a Broken Heart", the TTPD song about meeting the demands of your career-zenith mega-tour while in the relationship trenches, Taylor ends the song by rambling,

"You know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart...you know you're good...and I'm good, cause I'm miserable, and no one even knows!...try and come for my job."

Yeah, obviously we wouldn't know, you recently passed the billionaire threshold and are the most famous and in-demand performer in the world right now. Taylor Swift makes an estimated $10 to $13 million dollars A NIGHT on the Eras Tour. Furthermore, the Eras Tour movie grossed $261.6 million globally, (which, as the producer, Taylor takes home 57% of the ticket sales) not counting the streaming revenue from Amazon Prime Video and the estimated $75 million deal that Disney paid to have it on Disney+. We're not even considering the income from cheap plastic popcorn buckets and drink cups plastered with colored squares in her Era-specific likeness.
It's funny. Taylor Swift often said that being famous wasn't hard, that she "isn't complaining". I'm sure it is difficult to always have to present in a good mood, else you'll end up misrepresented in the media, and I'm sure it's invasive to virtually have no privacy or semblance of anonymity. Still, Taylor Swift shows up each night of tour and performs. For a majority of her career, she has penned her sad songs while on the road. Most of "Red", her breakup album, was written in the thick of the Speak Now World tour. Now, some Swifties say they almost "feel bad" for attending the Eras Tour with Swift's revelations in this song, that they have had a 'dimmed experience' upon hearing Taylor's misery whilst performing. Despite the fact that Taylor said that "this was the happiest she's ever been" at Gilette Stadium in May, the lyrics "boohoo, woe is me, smile for the cameras and make the fans happy!!!" are jarring for Eras attendees.
While Taylor Swift was making double-digit millions a night in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil and feeling miserable, Ana Clara Benevides Machado passed away due to heat exposure. The concert promoters, Time For Fun, are now the subject of a criminal investigation due to their lack of adequate hydration and safety. Taylor Swift cancelled the Sunday show that was to follow and offered VIP tent tickets to Benevides Marchado's family, which was a kind gesture, but perhaps incongruous to the incident of which they were offered as consolation. Everyone grieves differently, of course, but I'm not sure attending the very show at the very same venue that my daughter or sister passed away in two days prior, where the singer CONTINUED the show despite her death, would be healthy for closure.
There was no female rage at the show as Swift never saw Benevides Machado pass out. There was no female rage towards the disregard for fans as humans while Swift elected to proceed with her Brazil tour dates despite the country being in historic heatwaves (at risk of overheatting herself). If Taylor Swift was so shaken by touring with a broken heart or a fan's passing, she wouldn't have added an additional North American leg of Eras just two months after the Matty breakup. She's brokenhearted but willing to mend the cracks with your money and move onward with her worldwide female rage induced pillaging.
No matter what happens, even if you die at a Taylor Swift concert, Taylor collects a big fat check and flies away. She doesn't know you as anything other than a conversion rate or earning potential despite what her nearly 20-year long parasocial relationship with fans might otherwise indicate. She knows that, while some Swifties are without disposable income, they feel obligated to spend on a "48 Hours Only!" exclusive vinyl variant instead of necessities because they are so entrenched in Taylor Swift's intoxicating celebrity, they'll prioritize materialistic fandom before their needs. This is good enough for her because this means she can expand her real estate portfolio and finance her cat's lavish lifestyles. They're worth an estimated $100 million dollars. Her three cats could pool their net worth and solve world hunger.
While you and I might be denied bereavement leave and barely surviving the current political and economic climate, Taylor Swift has to, instead of gets to, perform for stadiums at full attendance for three nights in a row across the globe. You and I might be replaced by AI at our longtime jobs, but Taylor Swift is threatened with losing more and more money each time you listen to a "Stolen Version" of her songs. If we don't buy every variant of all of her albums, then who is going to pay for the fucking cats?
It is tone deaf to spend as she spends and lives as she lives in this economy, but this is her reality. She was able to donate $100,000 to all of her tour truck drivers, and that's wonderful, but it leads me to wonder about the ethos of the 2020s where one woman can hoard such life-changing amounts of money. Remember in 2014 when she gave a fan $90 ($120 in today's money) to get Chipotle because she had no fucking clue how much it cost? This is a 34-year-old woman who is increasingly out of touch with the reality for working class people and women in general. Normal everyday adults must wake up and go to their thankless jobs, and yet Taylor Swift, despite all her riches, incessantly references the lows of her life and career as a public figure and entertainer to farm sympathy and drive sales. And still, the corporate women have latched onto "I cry a lot, but I am so productive! It's an art!" as their cubicle battle cry.
Do you think that, from up in her private jet, Taylor Swift gazes at the world through her poetic, tortured eyes, and thinks, "All the little people, in their cars, walking, going about their lives...all those girls that don't support girls...do they know that I've made an album about female rage?"

Conclusion/TLDR

Thank you for reading. I would love to hear your critical insights towards this entire ordeal: TTPD, the trademark, the implications of it all.
TLDR: Taylor Swift is a bad feminist and is delusional to think that the TTPD eras set exemplifies female rage at women's injustice.

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I (39F) found out through another family member that my mother (60), believes she can gain conservatorship over me because of what she imagines. We live in Michigan. Other family members and I do not believe that this is age related dementia because the behavior is nothing new and, has been present since before I was born. I also have been no contact with my mother for a little over four years due to a variety of issues and her exposing me to dangerous people.
My mother has a history of seeing a news headline or watching a talk show and suddenly becoming obsessed with the subject matter and forcing it on to everyone else. She watched an episode of Oprah on meth back in the day and suddenly believed everyone was on meth. A Dateline special on teen pregnancy, suddenly me and every teen girl in my high school is pregnant because allegedly teen pregnancy came with weird symptoms include coughing up blood. (I had bronchitis and clearly wasn’t pregnant). I have tried to find this episode of Dateline but no luck. If there was one of those local news stories about “What dangerous new trend is every teen is doing right now” she 100% believed them, even if it turned out to be 4 teen boys in rural Montana and didn’t happen anywhere else. Another issue, is that a lot of the males in the family think it’s really funny when she gets worked up and paranoid and encourage her delusions to her face, while also making fun of her behind her back. She also continues to believe I am doing “teenage stuff” despite me turning 40 later this year.
My mother also refuses to accept how old I am. I’m told that my mother got a new job and has managed to frame the story to her new co-workers as I am a much younger person who hasn’t finished my teenage rebellion “phase” and she is a loving mom who just wants to save her baby from evil men. She currently believes I am an unemployed alcoholic living out of my car. None of this is true and nobody knows what show or news report she watched to get this idea in her head. Her new coworkers feel really bad for her, but they don’t know the truth, and have “been doing research” and believe it would be super easy to have me declared mentally incompetent based on being a veteran with an 80% disability rating. They also tell her that I could be forced to move in with her and she could get control of my disability payments.
My primary concern isn’t that she will be successful, I know veterans in much worse shape then me who are doing just fine living on their own. My worry is that she could use this process to try to find out where I live, work, and go to school. I have made sure not to tell anyone in my family what is going on with me so there is no way for anyone to “accidentally” slip up and tell her where I am. She already sabotaged me going to college about 18 years ago and I don’t want her doing that again.
Is there a way for me to keep her or her lawyer from getting a hold of any personal details. Could I get the court to seal any evidence I provide to them to prove I am capable of living on my own. I assume my first contact would be with a social worker, and I was wondering do I have any way to force them to not divulge information about me to my mother. Most of my knowledge about conservatorship comes from what happened to Britney Spears and her case is clearly very different from mine.

I decided to throw on Snooki & Jwoww one day a few weeks ago and I’m now about 1/3 of the way through the last season (season 4). As a fan who watched the OG series live, I definitely have some opinions and was curious to hear about everyone’s general consensus of the show! Some thoughts I had while watching:
-Snooki is so obviously happier and healthier from season 3 onward.. she’s like a whole different person. It’s no surprise that drinking less, exercising more, and being a responsible parent resulted in positive outcomes for her.. but wow! She looks great, she smiles more, she doesn’t seem as bitter and immature, etc etc etc. Motherhood looked great on her and I enjoyed her SO much more in season 3. I’m a man and will never be pregnant so I have no judgment to her, but yikes, it seemed rough to be around Snooki in season 1. EVERYTHING was an argument
-Jenni actually seemed pretty consistent across seasons. She obviously also seems to be more mature during and after her pregnancy. I will say though I was shocked that she’s pregnant at the start of season 4 when at the end of season 3 her and Roger are constantly saying “We’re not ready for a marriage or baby now”. I’m guessing like Snooki and Jionni, they also were surprised, but so obviously unprepared to maintain a stable household for children. I’m not surprised things turned out the way they did, unfortunately
-Holy shit, Roger’s “Jenni never has sex with me” jokes are so annoying. It was old in season 1, and 3 seasons later he’s making the same jokes.. so cringey. I will say though, while he is a piece of shit, sometimes he did make me laugh + his friendship with Jionni seemed genuine
-I kinda get why Jionni stays out of the public eye now. In season 1 he reminded me of OG Jionni, kind of always flustered and just upset with Nicole lol but I think like her, he grew into parenthood and quickly matured. After OG and 4 seasons of S&J, I’d be eager to sit back and count my money too
-I loved all of the scenes with the Joeys! It was funny to see Roger and Jionni squirm and approach the line of homophobia at times, but keep it respectful knowing they’re on TV and that their partners are obviously very gay friendly. I very much related as a gay man from the tri state area haha. Very cool to see them go to Lips and for Miss Fame to be on the show! That was a nice surprise
-Still need to finish the rest of season 4, but I’m finding myself rooting for Snooki and Jionni and shaking my head saying nonononono knowing what happens later with Jenni and Roger 🙁the writing was on the wall and it was so apparent but also hindsight is 20/20
What are your thoughts on the show? The cast? Did you watch live? Figured why not open it up for discussion 😊

I just finished the Momcom series (4 interconnected books written by 4 different authors) and I absolutely adored it. Each book was funny, light and also pretty damn spicy. The premise is a bit outlandish: it's about 4 single mom best friends who decide to move in together and raise their 7 kids in a "momcom" or "mom commune". Each book follows one of the moms as she falls in love. These books were so sweet and happy and angst free. I constantly found myself smiling while listening to the audiobooks. There are no third act breakups and honestly minimal conflict and angst. They are great books if you need a break from heavier reads.
I am dealing with a lot of anxiety in my personal life so I found myself not really enjoying books with a lot of angst and heartache and this series was absolutely perfect for getting me out of my slump.
Also, all of the audiobooks are in duet format which was really great and the narrators all did a wonderful job. These are all going to be on my re-read list for whenever I need the book equivalent of eye-bleach.
{Mother Faker by Brittanee Nicole} - Liv/Beckett - boss/employee, plus size FMC, marriage of convenience, billionaire MMC
{Mother Maker by Jenni Bara} - Dylan/Courtney - surprise pregnancy, pro athlete MMC (baseball)
{Mother Pucker by Swati M.H.} - Shay/Rowan - widowed FMC, pro athlete MMC (hockey)
{Mother Hater by Daphne Elliot} - Delia/Enzo - "man-hating" FMC, enemy to lovers vibes, client/contractor

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9 hours away from now

My girlfriend (F38) and I (M37) have been together for 3 years and have a 20 month old son together. Their motheson bond is huge, and it is quite apparent that they love each other. The two of us, as partners and parents however, are struggling.
When we met through a mutual friend in 2021 things were great. We could both say that it was the best relationship of our lives. She moved in with me 3 months after dating and was pregnant 4 months after moving in.
We both have some issues with substance use/abuse. I smoke an obscene amount of weed (legal where we live) and she likes to drink to the point where she has admitted that she struggles with alcohol addiction. (She also helped me realize that I indeed struggle with cannabis addiction myself.)
When she was pregnant in 2022 I was unable/unwilling to quit smoking. The smell bothered her greatly when she was pregnant and said that it was the cause of her unbearable heartburn. I did cut back, but not in any truly meaningful way. We had our first big fight while she was pregnant, and began fighting more and more, and in bigger ways.
She had birth complications in the hospital and the doctors trying to induce her pregnancy caused a lot of vaginal pain and trauma for her. So much so that she had to schedule a C-section. As a result of that trauma, we haven't had sex, aside from two times, since our son was conceived. (One of which was when she was freshly pregnant)
In fall of 2023 she was closing the bar she worked at and was chased to her car by a strange man. She quit working then which ended up placing a financial burden on me and our relationship.
In Spring 2024 she started a social media management company and started doing social media at a bar she used to work at.
In May 2024 we got in another huge fight and she told me that she wanted to break up. (She had said that before but this time she started looking for an apartment) I also found out that she was talking to one of her male friends who works at the bar and had developed an emotional relationship with him and were texting back and forth but assured me that it was never physically (which I do believe). When I found out I told the guy to back off or I would tell his girlfriend, and she tried to act like I didn't have a leg to stand on because we "already broke up." (She told me that she wanted to break up on a Wednesday, and on the following Saturday I found out that they had been texting about the possibility of hooking up. But the two of them had been texting about non work stuff and flirting before she actually broke up with me)
We both have traumas, her more than me. Mine are all relationship traumas from being in emotionally abusive relationships and being cheated on. Hers go deeper: her dad left the family when she was young, her late mother and her had a love/hate relationship, She was physically abused by a fiance, She was cheated on multiple times by an ex-husband, She had a traumatic birth complication, and she was assaulted (chased) by a man at night leaving work.
Because of her trauma and anxiety she talks to me in a negative and aggressive way pretty often. She always used to say "I'm from the Northeast, this is just how we talk." But I think there is unresolved trauma that makes her lash out at me. She also spends a decent amount of time out at the bar "working" but also hanging out. (I also spend my fair share of time blazing in the garage) I also think she may have General Anxiety Disorder coupled with lingering postpartum depression. She used to be prescribed adderall for ADD but stopped taking it when she got pregnant. Shortly after our son was born I found her a therapist to talk about postpartum depression, but she wouldn't follow through with making the appointment.
Since she stopped working in September 2023 (after being chased) I have gone into debt covering all of the household bills and her personal bills. I pay the mortgage, I give her money to pay bills and student loans, I buy all of the groceries, I buy her vapes, I give her a few bucks to grab a drink or a coffee when she is out, She watches our son while I am at work two days a week and my parents watch him the other 3 so she can do her social media job and project management job. I also feel like when we are home together, she is too overwhelmed and I end up being the one to take care of our son. (Oftentimes on the weekend she sleeps in while I get up with our son because she is often a grumpy/angry morning person)
It is also worth noting that I bear the brunt of her attitude. Our son gets the happiest, most engaging mother when they are interacting together. Friends and acquaintances get the cool, funny, laid back version of her (unless she is calling someone out for something social justice related)
She also doesn’t have a valid ID because she let her out of state ID lapse when we first got together, and doesn’t have her old marriage/divorce paperwork together to get a new one. Because of her anxiety, and my enabling, she hasn’t had a license for over 2 years. Furthermore, she drives my second car uninsured (sometimes after drinking)
The bottom line is that I still love her immensely and can't imagine my life with anyone else. She has expressed nothing but confusion and ambiguity for what our future holds. One minute she is talking about getting an apartment, the next she is talking about what kind of flooring we should put in the basement. She said that she doesn't want to see other people or anything, she just wants to get her life in order, and that she can't do that with me.
Has anyone else gone through anything similar? Any advice is welcomed.

To start off with, I need to give some background. My main family consists of me, my mother, my father, and my (half) sister-who is very mentally disabled, best described as "Angelman Syndrome". My father is a pretty normal guy, and I am very thankful for him. My sister is mentally disabled, and she can't really live her life, so I try to give her the best one. My mom has always been somewhat entitled, but she is VERY mentally unwell.
My mother and father have been divorced for as long as I can remember. One night he came home to her being drunk, and when trying to help her, she called the cops on him for some reason, and told the cops that he was abusing her, hitting her, the whole ordeal, and unfortuantely for my father, the cops that showed up were IDIOTS, believing my mother immediately without even letting my father speak. Dad spent the night is prison that evening. My father could've just accepted the punishment he was given, but here's the thing, at the time this happened, my mother was pregnant with me, and he knew she would try and keep me after the divorce they were planning, and if he had been arrested for abusing his wife, it wouldn't go so well when he tried to have some custody over me. So he didn't accept that punishment, and fought in court for this false accusation against him.
One night nearing the end of the court case, my mother called him to try and manipulate my father into just "giving up, and that the court would believe a woman over him." My father then said back, and I quote: "I will be penniless and living on the street before I allow that boy to be living with you for his entire life. I won't be giving this up." and then hung up in her face, After years of fighting, he finally won the court over and cleared his name, and after I was born, divorced my mother, and the court allowed equal custody over me. (Despite this, my mother did try to steal me and move away when I was two years old, but thankfully for me and my dad, my mother's side of the family are really good people, and when she tried to move in with them for a short while, far out of town, they called my father immediately without a second thought).
This story offically begins back when I was very little, specifically 6-7 years old. This is the year that my sister was born. It is worth mentioning that my sister is not my father's child, I don't know most of the details, but I'm fairly certain she was an "accidental" pregnancy. Anyway, for my entire life, my mother was kind of awful at being a mother. Making me, a child, take care of a disabled baby for the entire day, including the food procedure (which I'm not even going to go into, lets just say it requires a certain machine.) yelling at me constantly, then apologizing later. I always accepted these apologies, because she is really good at making me feel guilty. These yellings included when I was trying to go to sleep, and then actually making me get up and do work whenever she was angry with me. I don't even remember most of the reasons, because I heard so many rants that I eventually learned to ignore them.
All in all, she was never the best mother, but she doesn't hate me, far from it. I do know she does care about me, and thats honestly the annoying part. Anyway, my mother doesn't have a job, so she was living off the money my father was sending her to take care of ME, and the money she got from the government for my sister, since she was heavily disabled. Because of this, whoever is taking care of my sister IS getting money to take care of her. (Keep this in mind, its important later). This also eventually applied to me, as I was diagnosed with ADHD among other things at a young age, and my mother was happy when I got diagnosed. (Gee, I wonder why).
Eventually, my mother had to accept that she couldn't keep taking care of my sister, (EVEN THOUGH I WAS THE ONE DOING IT AT ALL TIMES EXCEPT WHEN I WAS AT SCHOOL OR MY FATHER'S) so she got someone to take care of her, a very nice woman and husband. (We'll call them nice wife and husband for simplicity). My sister lived with them for a few years, and my life was going uphill. I still visited her every day available, since the nice couple lived relatively close to my mother's house. Eventually, the nice couple started considering adopting my sister. Even though she was a little troublemaker and a crybaby, they loved her just as much, if not more than I did. However, whoever is taking care of my sister gets money handed to them, which is enough to take care of her needs and more. And if the nice husband and wife adopted her, they would then keep getting that money for the rest of time.
So my mother immediately took my sister back, and manipulated me into thinking that they were "bad guys who were trying to take my sister away." I hate to admit it, but if not for my father, I would have ended up like an entitled brat, because I believed everything she said as a child, and this was no exception. I deleted their contact info, spoke badly about them, and were angry to them. I heavily regret this after learning the truth, and really wish I could apologize.
So, with my sister now back in my mother's house, my mom (THANKFULLY) hired a group of social workers, basically multiple babysitters. They would be there every morning, from 9am to 11pm, except on Friday evenings and Saturdays. But honestly, while they did take good care of my sister during the day, my sleep schedule didn't change much, because since I cared about my sister and my mother, I took it upon myself to constantly wake up during the night to fix her machine whenever it stopped. Not a good idea for a young child to do that, but I cared and loved my sister, while also feeling pity for my mother. (Also, she never woke up to do it, so I felt like I had to).
My father later described me when he came to pick me up on Saturday afternoons as: "if anger could be a person" and honestly, he's right about that. Not having a good sleep, having to take care of my disabled sister who always cried, while listening to my mother always yell at me, while stressed about schoolwork didn't make me any happier. Apparently there were a few days where my father actually saw me shaking with rage. (I find that funny, but I probably shouldn't lol)
Around the time Covid was starting up, my mother's house caught on fire. I don't remember the exact details, its all a blur now, especially considering I was the one who noticed it, and got everyone out at about 3am in the morning. It was either due to wiring or a candle/paper. Luckily, no one was hurt, no one died, and my dog was fine too. (The fire/smoke did eventually lead to him dying a year later though... lung cancer) the only thing really lost was a lot of clothing and my mother's bed, not a huge loss. Anyway, since Covid was started up, we lived in a leased-out home for the duration of it. Not too bad, pretty big, quiet neighbourhood.
For the duration of Covid, it was back to me, and me alone taking care of my sister for a year or so. (Social distancing and all). Trapped in a house yet again with my mother yelling, my sister crying, and me losing my mind. My mother's mental health wasn't getting any better as time went on either, causing her to have... certain delusions. One of these included when the social workers were allowed to come back and help out, when Covid restrictions started to lift, one of them ended up hurting her back when carrying my sister, and my mother blamed me for some reason.
It took a while, no thanks to Covid, but eventually, my mother's house was fixed thanks to insurance. My mother was having certain delusions at this time, her mental wellness at an all-time-low. She eventually started hallucinating, but never spoke about it, and had the delusion that people were living in the attic. She called me in and handed me her phone, telling me to be ready to dial 911 while she went up to check. I didn't think much of it, other than telling her that no one was there and to calm down. I guess I didn't tell her that enough.
On just another morning, I woke up at my father's house, and headed downstairs to get breakfast ready. My father was already there, with a look I'd never seen on him before, He then informed me that my mother's house had burned down AGAIN, except this time, it WAS on purpose. My mother had apparently set a fire in the living room, trying to "smoke out" the people she thought was in the attic. Thankfully, it happened on a Friday night, so there was no worker there, but my sister WAS there, sleeping soundly. Thankfully, instead of killing herself and my sister, my mother actually got her out of there. They were both fine, but at this point, 85% of ALL my stuff was now gone for good. I was thankful my sister and mother were ok, but I now did not trust my mother, both for almost killing my sister, and for destroying all of my memories/keepsakes from my entire life, as well as the year-long school projects that I had been working on, and now had to redo, with only a week left.
The details get a little fuzzy here, mostly because I was a kid, and my father tried to get details, but he couldn't get many. My sister was thankfully taken away from my mother, given to a little house for disabled people, except she's the only one there, having multiple people take care of her. I visited her every week or so, and she's fine. She has no mental comprehension of much in life, and honestly, considering what she had been through, I was sort of happy in a way. My mother was apparently taken to a psyche ward, and TO THIS DAY, I still don't know the details of that anaylsis, because she never sent it to my father. My father and I both think she doesn't want us to know, which isn't exactly a good sign.
Now, during this time, a court date was set up, but eventually, my mother and I started talking over the phone, and for a while, it went ok. But every time, she would start to go off the rails lecturing me, yelling at me, and I've heard so many of her rambles that I don't remember most of her words. She, like I said before, is really good at using the guilt card on me, and I am not good at avoiding it, but my father was always there on standby, because he knew very well that one way or another, my mother would most likely go off the rails. There were multiple times that he took the phone from me after she started ranting, then shut her up with a quick one-liner of some sort, and then hung up in her face.
My mother apparently did other... odd things. From stealing a car thinking that the cops were after her, (in the dead of night, with no sirens by the way) to..... probably the biggest delusion yet. My dad has a good friend, who we'll call Dave. (Not his real name). Dave unfortuantely lives somewhat close to my mother's house, and while my mother occasionally has ranted at him in the past, he doesn't really care about most of it. He's a chill guy who doesn't get freaked out by much in life. But, well, one day he pulled a letter out of his mailbox from my mother. He didn't care at first, but after reading it, was freaked out. I won't go into details of everything said, but she just apologized for a lot of things that didn't even happen, one involving my mother telling Dave that she didn't kill his mother. (Dave's mother is still alive and well, by the way)
Eventually, the denying of killing transferred over to me with the phone calls. In one phone call, my father wasn't there, and she started to go off the rails, denying about wanting to kill my sister, and describing how she could have. Knowing her very well, I simply took my phone and set it to start recording, then gave said recording to my father, telling him he could use it if he wanted. My dad apparently showed the recording to his lawyer, (With my permission) who is a good friend, and she was apparently appalled.
About the court date, it was set up, and she was charged for a number of things. But... she evaded coming to court for so long, and the time it took for the court to even get set up, made it so that the court timer eventually ran out, and charges on her were (mostly) dropped. After this, she IMMEDIATELY tried to start getting my sister back into her custody, not because she loved her, but again, because whoever is taking care of my sister gets money to take care of her, and a little extra. Through the 3 years this happened, and even to this day, she never got a job. You might be wondering how she survived for that long without going homeless. Well, she ransacked my room, sold whatever was able to be salvaged, and stole my wallet, which at the time, was everything I had saved up, over about $1000. My dad, being the caring man he is, eventually gave me that money to make up for it. She sold her car, and eventually had to sell her house, because she WILL NOT GET A DAMN JOB, EVER.
She eventually throughout months of trying did get my sister back into her custody, but thankfully, people knew of her past with her, and she was assigned people to do random drinking/smoking tests on her, as well as check on my sister. (My mother was also a heavy drinker and smoker coming up, and I know this because 8/10 times, she's brought me with her to the smoking shop.) They could come at any time, and could check whether she'd done either of these things. Let's just say, that my mother didn't even last 5 months. She went to the hospital for reasons I'm unaware of and lost custody of my sister, again. I do know she failed the test of checking on her smoking. (Can't say I'm surprised)
Throughout all these years, my mother has always asked me to call, and moreso to come meet her in person, and with the court charges dropped, she persisted on that even harder, but I've never wanted to do that. My dad relays all this to my mother over text messages, because like hell I'm telling her through my messages, because then she'd have my phone number. My mother has always blamed my father, claiming he won't let her see me, which he doesn't care about, especially since everyone but her has realized, that this is MY CHOICE.
Eventually, about a month ago, she asked my father if she could meet me in person. (She's never getting my sister back now, so her only option is me, because she really needed money, because she just REFUSES TO GET A JOB). This was basically a last-dtich-attempt from my mother to see me, saying that if I wasn't going to, she would move away from my town. My father told me all of this, (every messages she sends get relayed to me through him, and shows me the messages to prove it) I thought about it, and I told him to tell her, in no uncertain terms, that I, and me alone, do not wish to see her.
He gave that message to her, and she's been silent ever since. I do feel somewhat bad for her, but I feel like I shouldn't, but she is my mother. I don't really miss her, but I do feel bad.
There will likely be no updates, this is the entire story, from start to finish. Sorry for making this so long though.
All I ask, is am I the jerk for not wanting to see my mother again, and what should I do?

I'm going to be using fake names just in case this post gets found by someone I know. Sorry for how long this is.
So I Andrea f(30) and my husband Nathan m(35) have been together for 9 years. Dating :6 married :3, we get along for the most part but we do have fights, and having similar personality traits it can take a while for us to come together to talk it out/compromise. I come from a family with 3 younger siblings (m(26), f(25), and f(23))and we are all are adopted. My mom Jamie f(62) could not have children, I am the first she and my father Jacob m(62) adopted.
The first time this whole pregnancy/birth thing even came into play is when we had a pregnancy scare in the first year that we were dating, I was still living with my mother and Nathan had his own house. I had missed my period and taken a pregnancy test, it came up positive so I took another one and it came up negative. My doctor recommended I come in for a blood draw to get a solid answer, when I shared this with my mother she said quote "I can't believe my 22 year old unmarried daughter is going to have a baby, I thought I raised you better" I was shocked at her response, called Nathan and cried about it to him. Well it ended up being a false alarm.
Fast forward to me turning 26 and that seemed to flip a switch in my mother's mind and she began constantly asking when I would give her a grandchild. Before we even got married (2021) I told Nathan that I was not interested in having biological children. The thought of pregnancy and birth has always scared the shit out of me and I wanted no part of it. (I don't think I could handle it mentally/emotionally/physically , I know myself and the toll all of the changes would take on me. But a huge kudos to anyone who became pregnant on purpose or accident and kept the baby, you're alot stronger than I am) Nathan said that it was fine, he was good with adoption and raising a child that needed a loving family.
Fast forward again to this year my brother -in-law and his wife just had a baby. When it happened Nathan was kind of acting off so I asked him if something was wrong, he said he was still wanting to adopt but a part of him is always going to want a biological child like his brother had. My heart dropped when I heard this and so the next morning I turned to my mother for advice.
She asked me why I didn't want to be pregnant or give birth and I shared my fears with her, imagine my surprise when she shamed me for five minutes about how pregnancy is a blessing and beautiful then said "All I ever wanted was to be pregnant so you should just get over yourself and get pregnant to give Nathan the child he wants." When I tried to explain how it didn't have to do with Nathan, I didn't want to be pregnant no matter who I was with and just wanted to adopt she hung up on me.
I felt so horrible and like a monster after that phone call I called my youngest sister Kira f(23) to ask her if I was crazy for wanting to not even try to get pregnant and going straight for adoption. Funny enough Kira ended up pregnant at 18 and had her baby much to my mother's dismay at first (she changed her tune at the end because she had a new grand baby but her and I clashed alot over those 9 months for how she treated Kira). Kira reassured me that I wasn't crazy for knowing I never wanted to become pregnant and just wanting adoption. She told me to not let anyone pressure me to get pregnant and she would always have my back.
I just can't seem to shake my mom's voice out of my head about how it's unfair to Nathan. So AITA for saying I never want to be pregnant /give birth?

I'm going to be using fake names just in case this post gets found by someone I know. Sorry for how long this is.
So I Andrea f(30) and my husband Nathan m(35) have been together for 9 years. Dating :6 married :3, we get along for the most part but we do have fights, and having similar personality traits it can take a while for us to come together to talk it out/compromise. I come from a family with 3 younger siblings (m(26), f(25), and f(23))and we are all are adopted. My mom Jamie f(62) could not have children, I am the first she and my father Jacob m(62) adopted.
The first time this whole pregnancy/birth thing even came into play is when we had a pregnancy scare in the first year that we were dating, I was still living with my mother and Nathan had his own house. I had missed my period and taken a pregnancy test, it came up positive so I took another one and it came up negative. My doctor recommended I come in for a blood draw to get a solid answer, when I shared this with my mother she said quote "I can't believe my 22 year old unmarried daughter is going to have a baby, I thought I raised you better" I was shocked at her response, called Nathan and cried about it to him. Well it ended up being a false alarm.
Fast forward to me turning 26 and that seemed to flip a switch in my mother's mind and she began constantly asking when I would give her a grandchild. Before we even got married (2021) I told Nathan that I was not interested in having biological children. The thought of pregnancy and birth has always scared the shit out of me and I wanted no part of it. (I don't think I could handle it mentally/emotionally/physically , I know myself and the toll all of the changes would take on me. But a huge kudos to anyone who became pregnant on purpose or accident and kept the baby, you're alot stronger than I am) Nathan said that it was fine, he was good with adoption and raising a child that needed a loving family.
Fast forward again to this year my brother -in-law and his wife just had a baby. When it happened Nathan was kind of acting off so I asked him if something was wrong, he said he was still wanting to adopt but a part of him is always going to want a biological child like his brother had. My heart dropped when I heard this and so the next morning I turned to my mother for advice.
She asked me why I didn't want to be pregnant or give birth and I shared my fears with her, imagine my surprise when she shamed me for five minutes about how pregnancy is a blessing and beautiful then said "All I ever wanted was to be pregnant so you should just get over yourself and get pregnant to give Nathan the child he wants." When I tried to explain how it didn't have to do with Nathan, I didn't want to be pregnant no matter who I was with and just wanted to adopt she hung up on me.
I felt so horrible and like a monster after that phone call I called my youngest sister Kira f(23) to ask her if I was crazy for wanting to not even try to get pregnant and going straight for adoption. Funny enough Kira ended up pregnant at 18 and had her baby much to my mother's dismay at first (she changed her tune at the end because she had a new grand baby but her and I clashed alot over those 9 months for how she treated Kira). Kira reassured me that I wasn't crazy for knowing I never wanted to become pregnant and just wanting adoption. She told me to not let anyone pressure me to get pregnant and she would always have my back.
I just can't seem to shake my mom's voice out of my head about how it's unfair to Nathan. So AITA for saying I never want to be pregnant /give birth?

I'm going to be using fake names just in case this post gets found by someone I know. Sorry for how long this is.
So I Andrea f(30) and my husband Nathan m(35) have been together for 9 years. Dating :6 married :3, we get along for the most part but we do have fights, and having similar personality traits it can take a while for us to come together to talk it out/compromise. I come from a family with 3 younger siblings (m(26), f(25), and f(23))and we are all are adopted. My mom Jamie f(62) could not have children, I am the first she and my father Jacob m(62) adopted.
The first time this whole pregnancy/birth thing even came into play is when we had a pregnancy scare in the first year that we were dating, I was still living with my mother and Nathan had his own house. I had missed my period and taken a pregnancy test, it came up positive so I took another one and it came up negative. My doctor recommended I come in for a blood draw to get a solid answer, when I shared this with my mother she said quote "I can't believe my 22 year old unmarried daughter is going to have a baby, I thought I raised you better" I was shocked at her response, called Nathan and cried about it to him. Well it ended up being a false alarm.
Fast forward to me turning 26 and that seemed to flip a switch in my mother's mind and she began constantly asking when I would give her a grandchild. Before we even got married (2021) I told Nathan that I was not interested in having biological children. The thought of pregnancy and birth has always scared the shit out of me and I wanted no part of it. (I don't think I could handle it mentally/emotionally/physically , I know myself and the toll all of the changes would take on me. But a huge kudos to anyone who became pregnant on purpose or accident and kept the baby, you're alot stronger than I am) Nathan said that it was fine, he was good with adoption and raising a child that needed a loving family.
Fast forward again to this year my brother -in-law and his wife just had a baby. When it happened Nathan was kind of acting off so I asked him if something was wrong, he said he was still wanting to adopt but a part of him is always going to want a biological child like his brother had. My heart dropped when I heard this and so the next morning I turned to my mother for advice.
She asked me why I didn't want to be pregnant or give birth and I shared my fears with her, imagine my surprise when she shamed me for five minutes about how pregnancy is a blessing and beautiful then said "All I ever wanted was to be pregnant so you should just get over yourself and get pregnant to give Nathan the child he wants." When I tried to explain how it didn't have to do with Nathan, I didn't want to be pregnant no matter who I was with and just wanted to adopt she hung up on me.
I felt so horrible and like a monster after that phone call I called my youngest sister Kira f(23) to ask her if I was crazy for wanting to not even try to get pregnant and going straight for adoption. Funny enough Kira ended up pregnant at 18 and had her baby much to my mother's dismay at first (she changed her tune at the end because she had a new grand baby but her and I clashed alot over those 9 months for how she treated Kira). Kira reassured me that I wasn't crazy for knowing I never wanted to become pregnant and just wanting adoption. She told me to not let anyone pressure me to get pregnant and she would always have my back.
I just can't seem to shake my mom's voice out of my head about how it's unfair to Nathan. So AITA for saying I never want to be pregnant /give birth?