I made this killer to be like the Wolf (aka Death) from Puss in Boots: The Last Wish. I did my best to mimic the Wolf, and also used some ideas from the Doctor and other killers.
Death - The Wolf
“Death comes for us all.” Death is the ultimate end for all mortals. But there has been a group of people who kept getting revived again and again by the arrogant Entity. Fed up with this lack of value for life and death, the Wolf enters the Entity’s realm. There, he finds the people locked in an endless cycle of being hunted, killed, and revived. Now, Death is upon them. Not metaphorically, or rhetorically, or poetically, or theoretically, or any other fancy way. This is death. Straight. Up.
Now, he will claim them. But after he has some fun and teach everyone to fear him.
Weapon: Sickles
Movement Speed: 115%/ 4.6 m/s
Terror Radius: 40m
Height: Tall

Special Ability: Death Whistle
The Wolf can whistle its tune which will inflict Fear status effect to all survivors in a 32 meter radius. The wolf can choose to play up to two verses of the tune consecutively to give one tier of Fear per verse. The wolf cannot move during each 10 second verse.

Special Affliction: Fear
“I just love the smell of fear!”
A tier for Fear is given when the survivor is caught in a verse of the whistle or struck by the wolf’s blade. Fear can only be removed by either being hung or by the special interaction: Therapy
Tier I: Upon receiving this affliction, Survivor’s aura will be visible for 15 seconds. Skill checks have a 33% of being madness skill checks. Will always hear heartbeat.
Tier II: Upon receiving this affliction, Survivor’s aura will be visible for 20 seconds. Skill checks have a 66% of being madness skill checks. Will always hear heartbeat. Occasionally, a picture of their life will flash in vision.
Tier III: Survivor enters Panic Attack state for 30 seconds. During this time, survivor will be locked in a running state in first person view, always hear the heartbeat, have aura visible for the full duration, and have several hallucinations of Illusionary Wolves. Survivor is unable to use items, fix generators, or interact with items other than windows and pallets. At the end of the 30 seconds, Panic Attack ends and Survivor returns to Tier II Fear.

Special Interaction: Therapy
When a survivor has at least one tier of Fear, another survivor can treat that survivor to reduce the fear by one tier.

Special Locomotion: Dash
The Wolf bounds 10 meters. It can only be used once, and the cooldown is 10 seconds.

Perks
Death Counter: Each time a survivor dies, a token is added on.
· Ability cooldowns have a stackable 10%/20%/30% decrease
· Reduces time to vault Window to 1.48/1.275/1.07 seconds
· Increases lunge range by setting attack open time to 0.6/0.7/0.8 seconds

Pick. It. Up.: When a survivor is reviving a down survivor, it starts with a difficult skill check. Failure will cause down survivor to scream giving away location.

Bien! Muy bien!: Whenever the killer is struck with a pallet, for 10 seconds, movement speed is increased by 20% and a strike will be an instant down.
Add-On
Hood & Cloak: When the Wolf looks down, he has the Undetectable effect. The Wolf can move, but looking down obviously means limited vision.

Knuckle Duster: It takes just 1 second to break pallet or damage gens. The Wolf cannot lunge.
Sweet Release: Denying the Entity its food, the Wolf shall claim what’s his. The Wolf will not hook survivors. Instead, he will Mori the survivor if that survivor was inflicted with a Tier III Fear at some point. Mori will grant 2500 blood points.

Mori: Last Fight
When survivor is within 14 feet in front of the Wolf, the Wolf strikes up walls of fire that surrounds the survivor before delivering the final strike.

Hello you guys, I have a bit of a sticky situation with my former landlord in Delaware County, PA:

• In May 2023, I signed a year lease in a building with about a dozen units owned by a retiree.
• The basement unit flooded twice in June. The property manager made some amends/repairs. I didn't want to move out at that time because I believed the issue was resolved.
• After the tenant above me moved out, the property manager and handyman proceeded to gut the apartment over my head, running power tools late into the night and on weekends for the whole month of November, even after I asked them not to. This was a noise code violation. Because the only way to make an official record of this was to call the police, I decided not to (as a single woman living alone, I didn't want to escalate the situation).
• I was ready to leave after the two floods and the noise. I went into a deep rabbithole doing legal research on the many numerous building and fire code issues in my unit. One of my findings was that my unit had *NEVER* received a certificate of occupancy from the borough, which I take to mean I had been living in an illegal basement conversion that was deceptively passed off to me as a habitable living space.
• In December, the unit flooded again! This time I called the borough's code enforcement department. One of the inspectors came over the same day and later filed a report with a short paragraph on the inspection and the photos he took. He told me he never would have passed the unit.
• I moved out at the end of December and now live about an hour away.
• Here's where I might have fucked up: when I left, the property manager sent me an email stating I wouldn't be getting my security deposit back. I never formally asked for the deposit back. I was extremely overwhelmed by dealing with all the issues, moving twice in seven months, a demanding corporate job, and everything else.
• In April, I sent the landlord a certified demand letter to his personal address asking for the ~$1,500 deposit back. He never responded but I have the return receipt he signed.

Question:

• Knowing the upper limit for small claims court is $6,000, and I am out $1,500 (security deposit) + $1500 (moving expenses) + $7,000 in rent for an "apartment" whose landlord breached the warrant of habitability and covenant of quiet enjoyment, can I ask for the full $6,000 if I file in May after moving out on December 31?

Even the darkest forces cannot tarnish the light of the Son of God,for His wisdom sees through every page of the devils’ playbook.
He is fearless. He is not evading the law, despite what the naysayers claim. He strategically fights with wisdom and righteousness guiding him from shade.
After all, millions of followers worldwide call him as the 'Appointed Son of God' for a reason. He possesses the wisdom to see through every page of the devils’ playbook. He will continue to stand for truth and justice. Because that is what a reasonable man of God will do.
I am referring to the founder of the Kingdom of Jesus Christ (KOJC), Pastor Apollo C. Quiboloy, who is facing a highly unusual and complex case spanning both the Philippines and the United States.
What I mean by that is that the gravity of this issue extends beyond his own person, holding importance for the country’s interests.
Pastor Apollo’s name has been dragged into numerous unsubstantiated claims — from accusations of human trafficking and sex-related offenses to allegations of SMNI’s ‘red-tagging’ and involvement with a Chinese propaganda unit, along with claims that he provided firearms to then-President Rodrigo Duterte and Mayor Sara Duterte.
Take note: all of these have just happened within six years since the presidency of Duterte.
Earlier this year following the subpoenas issued by the Senate and House, Pastor Apollo released a statement that his life is in grave danger — the reason why he’s not seen as usual in public anymore. This came with shocking revelations that made it to the headlines and opened more controversies, and perhaps gave us the bigger picture of what’s happening in our country:
The Philippine President Ferdinand ‘Bongbong’ Marcos Jr, together with his wife Liza Araneta-Marcos, are conniving with the U.S. government to have him arrested and assassinated through rendition. This, he said, was according to a ‘very reliable source.’
He also disclosed that the FBI, the CIA, and the U.S. Embassy had been conducting surveillance on the KOJC properties and that a $2-million bounty had been offered in exchange for his arrest.
He also said that his reliable source revealed that the current admin would take over all the KOJC properties and establish a corporation under which its assets would fall under.
He said that former workers of the KOJC, whose records within the congregation are arguably heinous, have left and are now being used by his detractors, particularly by Senator Risa Hontiveros along with the leftist lawmakers Makabayan bloc.
He also believed that Marcos is doing this because of his close association with former President Rodrigo Duterte and Vice President Sara Duterte.
In light of these circumstance, from the point of view of Pastor Apollo, submitting easily to the government's investigation would be akin to suicide. By that, he made the right decision to exercise all of his constitutional rights.
And no, ‘flight is a sign of guilt’ does not apply here. Circumstances may compel flight, but it doesn’t prove guilt.
On the other hand, this brings us to more serious questions:
Why would the U.S. target Pastor Apollo? Why would Marcos, whom Pastor Apollo openly supported in the last election, allegedly conspire with the U.S. to have him killed?
Why are they after the properties of the KOJC?
How is the Duterte family being implicated in this?
Why would the Senate, House of Representatives, and other government agencies suddenly serve as ‘judge’ for the alleged crimes of Pastor?
Why is SMNI, a well-known platform for former President Duterte and known for its stance against communist propaganda, under attack by the government?
Why are all the online media platforms of Pastor Apollo and SMNI being shut down?
Why are all of these happening now just when the KOJC has prospered and Pastor Apollo became so influential in the country?
In this first part of the Devil’s playbook against the 'Appointed Son of God,' we will lay down first the foundation of the tactics of the Devil. (The term 'Devil' generally refers to those who seek to destroy Pastor Apollo and the country.)

My brother has some serious mental issues and he refuses to get help. I hear him ranting about how the production of abortion medicine makes him wake up at night. He constantly whispers to himself about people snitching on him. He is convinced that my parents are out to sabotage him. I just don’t know what to do. I had to sit in my room yesterday and listen to him scream at me that my dad was a coward. It scares me. I don’t feel safe in my own home anymore. He claims that he’s just protecting himself but he is so confrontational. But he has his lucid moments and I just cry whenever it happens. I think he is either bipolar or he has some bad ptsd from being homeless but I can’t do anything. He’s moving out in two weeks because my parents tried to force him to talk about his mental state and he’s gonna be homeless again. I miss him. I remember him as a kind hearted person and I don’t recognize him anymore when I look at him. I struggle to stay in the same room as him as he just makes me so scared. I can’t help but fear that he’s gonna get violent. But at the same time I just want to yell at him. I know it’s not his fault but he’s hurting everyone. Part of me is glad he’s moving out but I love him. I feel so shitty

Since 2021, the last few guys I have dated or had a thing with, have not given me the time of day when things have gone south. They don’t care to give me an explanation as to why they’re leaving, etc. Nor do they get into specifics about why they aren’t interested in a relationship.
However, my guy friend that I had a thing with, was the complete opposite this year. We had a thing, it was great, but he broke it off. His choice. However, he didn’t justify it and leave it alone. He kept trying to justify why he didn’t want to date. Over, and over again. Even though I never pushed anything, and stopped the moment he wanted to be friends.
He claims not to care, he claims to want easy, but I’ve sent him two total messages in three months, stating I am fine with being friends. He keeps bringing it up.
TL;DR guy friend keeps bringing it up about why he want to be friends

Not right to work state. Should I join union? From what I understand they put union paper in your face first day and push you to sign. I understand you need 30 working days to qualify for representation. If I’m at-will and can be terminated for any reason is this a test to see if I’m going to betray my supervisor? Looking for some honest direction here. From what I understand the union still represents you regardless. Thanks for any help. Looking for some honest feedback. I’m extremely grateful for getting hired in this economy.

In the Era of Fear I Comfort them with Great Love
Anita Moorjani was cured from cancer not because of a certain medicine, vaccine or chemotherapy. She was cured because of this Great Love. Anita Moorjani is a forty years old woman who is simple and honest. She was born in India, grew up in Singapore and was English educated. Later she went to Hong Kong. She knows Tamil, English and Cantonese. In 2002 the doctor said that she was down with cancer lymphoma or the blood cell tumor. After four years, in 2006 seventy percent of her body is covered with the cancerous cells. She stayed in the hospital, suffering terribly because of this illness. Later the doctor pronounced her death. After three days she woke up and was cured miraculously. This is truly inconceivable when she woke up from her death. In her mind she was very sure she was cured already. No treatment was needed. But she was very weak. She could not even talk. The doctor was surprised of her condition and again they carried out a checking on her body and found that she was free from all symptoms of cancer. In her mind she knew she was already cured. In her mind there was a great transformation that she personally experienced. And all the cells on her body were transformed into healthy cells. Later she wrote a book entitles: After dying once I finally learn to love’ By looking at this title, it coincides with Master Shan Dao’s teaching on the one with deep faith in the dharma. He said, ‘Standing here is waiting to die. Going forward is also death. Turning back, I too cannot escape from death.’ This can be found in the ‘Analogy of two rivers and one white lane’ the three sure deaths. If we have died once, we will truly give ourselves up. This is the same as the Pure Land teaching that we have to admit we are the sinful mundane man. We lose all hope as we have no ways to leave the triple realm. In cultivation we need to really undergo a total death in order to really practise the path. The zen cultivator says this is known as undergoing great death and great living. Otherwise, no real cultivation can be expected because most of us are very arrogant, very self-centred, without much changes in our stubborn mindset. That is why she said after dying once only she managed to learn how to love. In the Pure Land door this is known as having deep faith. Such a man will surely have faith in Amitabha’s 48 vows to gather in living beings without any doubts and suspicion. By relying on the strength of the Buddha’s Vows we will surely attain a rebirth. This is living in the great love of Namo Amitabha Buddha. We receive the love of Amitabha Buddha. Only then we can have the genuine love and we are able to learn to love. If we do not feel the love of Amitabha Buddha, we will not know how to love. Our love will be frightening as it is an attachment, a desire to control, to possess others. Such a love is impure, it is a threat to us. If we are not careful it might turn into hatred. Such is a frightful kind of love. If we learn from Amitabha Buddha, the love is pure, without condition and transparent. This is truly loving a person. It is not easy to learn this. We look at the couples around us. So many got married and end up in divorce. How about those who do not get a divorce? Yes, they spend the whole life fighting！The truly loving couples are as few as the stars in the broad day light. So, learning to love is our homework for the whole life. It is not easy. Today I would like to discuss this passage with you. After reading her writing I feel most shameful as what the author has said is very true in accord with her experience. Even though I have left home for more than twenty years, receiving the teaching of the Buddha, the guidance of the patriarch, the exhortation of my Master, the help of my lotus friends and all, I still feel I am lacking in genuine practice and virtues. On the contrary this lady has not met with the Buddha Dharma. She has such an awakening after dying once, it is truly a gain for her. She said, ‘After my body stopped functioning, I entered into another world.’ She was so seriously ill that her heart, her liver and everything stopped functioning. This is to show there is a world after death. She said, ‘I saw myself as a very wonderful person. This is because I was not terrorised until I had a change in shape.’ ‘I felt there was this vibrant energy around me and I was able to enter it. I realise if a man can see his wonderful existence, he must be the happiest man.’ Most of us like to complain about our imperfect existence. We often think thus, ‘I do not have enough money. I am not healthy. I am not pretty. I do not have enough clothing ….’ Here we must learn to see the good points in us, to appreciate the value of our existence. A woman who can say like this is truly very calm in mind. A man who always complains about himself will not be able to live happily each day. So, without knowing the love of Amitabha for us, we will be a great complainer. We complain about no money, we complain about our look, our wrinkles and so on and so forth. What kind of life will this be with so many complaints? She said, ‘I found that there was this power surrounding me.’ When we pass away, we will no longer be using our eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body and mind to observe. Instead, we will be awakened to our innate Buddha. She felt she is surrounded by this vibrant field of energy and she is also this energy. What kind of power is this? It is a kind of energy. It is always in the universe or the dharma realm in the Buddhist terms. In fact, this is Amitabha Buddha. This is the strength of the Buddha Nature. She uses her Buddha Nature to experience the Buddha Nature. It exists forever. It is neither born nor become extinct. If the Buddha enters the world or does not enter the world, it is always there without changing. Of course, she does not use these Buddhist terms. She said, ‘When I give up the attachment to the mundane world, I enter another world effortlessly. It is unnecessary to pray, to recite a sutra or to give a dharma talk. It is unnecessary to seek forgiveness, repentance or other methods.’ ‘Death gives me the feeling that I do not need to do anything. It is just as though I am telling someone I am coming to the end. I cannot do anything anymore. I give up. Whatever you want to do I will just accept.’ I feel that this passage is very near in meaning to the Pure Land’s view. It means when we die, we have just to let go as nothing can be done anymore. Most people die in torment as there are many attachments in this world. They are worried about their children, money and work. Some people find it difficult to die. So, from here we must learn to let go when it is our turn to leave the world. Moreover, we have the promise from Amitabha Buddha who will come to receive us in accord with the strength of his vows. It is much easier for us. This lady just let go and she entered another world. Her state should be quite high too. I will explain below. I feel that she had arrived at the border of the Pure Land. Her state of an awakened mind showed that she was not in the heaven. She seemed to be enlightened to the Buddha nature and non -existence of a self. She experienced the light of enlightenment and returned to life, to lead a life of love. So, in our practice we are told to let go of all attachment and to wish for a rebirth in the Pure Land relying on Amitabha’s strength of vows. So from here we can see it is very easy to be born in the World of Ultimate Bliss. She said it is unnecessary to recite a sutra, a dharma or seeking for forgiveness. She enters the other world naturally when she simply gives up herself. I remember once I went with my Master to console a dying man. I was very touched by my Master’s words. He said kindly to the man who is on the verge of death, ‘So and so, now we will recite Namo Amitabha Buddha. If you can recite, then recite together. If you can’t, just lay down and relax. It is ok if you just listen to our recitation.’ Are not these words very comforting? The dying man will feel very safe and relax. But if you were to say, ‘So and so, this is the last chance. Bring out all your strength to face death. If you can recite then recite together. If you cannot recite, you must try also!’ On listening to this threat, the sick man is stressed out. He will die instantly as he has no strength to join in recitation. The Master who with his great love understands the rescue of Amitabha Buddha is a natural process that he is able to say in such a comforting way. No condition is needed. There is no threat nor fright in his words. A man who threatens people is not calm as he must be frightened too in his mind. That is why what he says will frighten people, giving stress to others. If we are loving in our mind, our words will only bring love, peace and calm to others. People will feel our love for them. So, this lady says it is unnecessary to read or recite any prayer or seeking forgiveness. This is because the wavelength of her mind is on a par with the great love of the universe. She naturally enters it. Namo Amitabha Buddha is a dharma that requires no seeking or pleading. It is a dharma of rescue without condition. When we recite Namo Amitabha Buddha, the wavelength of our mind is the same as Amitabha Buddha. So, we will attain a rebirth naturally. Many of us who do not understand the kindness of Amitabha Buddha will seek a rebirth by pleading to the Buddha every day. His mind is unsettled and frightened that he might be left out. This is because he does not understand when he recites the Buddha’s name, the wavelength of his mind is in the same frequency with Amitabha Buddha’s mind and vows. Then people will ask, ‘Do we still go to recite the Buddha’s Name for the dying man?’ ‘Yes, of course.’ This is because the dying man has yet to understand this point. When we recite for him, he will be safe in the shine of Namo Amitabha Buddha. This is a method which is bestowed upon us to save us with this Name in accord with the strength of the Buddha’s vows. When she says to somebody, this refers to Amitabha Buddha. She says she cannot do anything anymore and she gives up. She gives herself up to the Buddha. So, when we die do not try to fight with death and refuse to die. We must just admit we are the offender and we need the help of Amitabha Buddha to take us, to rescue us. Namo is to admit we take refuge in the Buddha, we surrender ourselves. When we cultivate this door, we must not add in our ideas. We must just let Amitabha Buddha to decide for us. This is because Amitabha has the power of great vow, the extensive great strength of the Buddha Nature, the strength of immeasurable light, the strength of immeasurable lifespan. We just have to give up all planning. He will plan for us. So, when we recite the Name of the Buddha, just recite without thinking of doing this or that trying so hard to reach a certain acceptable standard. These are all unnecessary. This type of thinking is the habit of the sagely path cultivators. When we sit on the plane, just sit there. The plane will bring you to your destiny. It is unnecessary for you to help the plane to fly. Amitabha Buddha the pilot does not need you to fly the plane. If he needs your help then he is not known as Amitabha Buddha. Anita said, ‘In the other world, I found that my mind is very clear and bright. I realise by myself that I will only die out of the fear and terror in my mind.’ These words are very true. Clarity of mind means her mind is pure. In this world our mind is turbid, dark and deluded. That is why are enveloped in all kinds of worries and terror. But once we arrive at the Pure Land, we will naturally be pure and bright. This is because the land is pure and is enveloped in bright illumination. She said she naturally know she will be cured. This knowing ability is possessed by us originally. No learning is needed because our Buddha nature is originally pure and bright. In the Saha world our ability is being covered up by afflictions. But when we arrive at the World of Ultimate Bliss, we will naturally possess this ability. This ability reappears relying on the strength of Vows of Amitabha Buddha. When we arrive at the Pure Land, we will naturally possess the ability to make offerings to the Buddha. On hearing one sentence we are enlightened to the millions. Our mind is opened up to the thousands of million Dharanis. Everyone of us have this innate ability. And Amitabha Buddha’s strength of Vows enhances its opening. In this Saha World our innate nature is all covered up and cannot function. In the world of ultimate bliss, by relying on Amitabha Buddha’s strength of great vows, our innate ability is open up. So they are not contradicting. ‘I naturally know the source of the thought that I will die. The source is I was frightened. If there is no fear, there is no death.’ In actuality there is no death. It is only our fear of death that this illusion comes froth. In Buddha dharma we should know death itself is an illusion. Time is also an illusion. That is why the Buddha speaks all the Sutra in this manner, ‘Thus have I heard, at one time the Buddha was…..’ No specific time is stated. Now the physics has proven its illusory. As time is an illusion, it does not exist. Let me give you an example of what is meant by death. It is as if we are driving a car into a tunnel. The shape of the tunnel resembles that of a tomb. And we keep on driving into it. We say we are entering the tomb, that we are going to die soon. We are threatened as the entrance represents death. We continue on our journey in the tunnel and later leave the tunnel, again travelling on our way to another destiny. The entrance of the tunnel, the funeral wreath looks like the tomb. For us, death is a terrible idea that we are fearful of it. We do not know life is a continuity and there is no death. It is our wrong concept that there is this section of birth and death. No one can do anything about it until they personally realise it. ‘I am unable to live out my real self as I have too much worried.’ Most of us live in this world wearing a mask. If everyone of us is free to show our real self this is the most beautiful side of a self. Why cannot we live the way we should live? It is because we are always burdened with worries. We are worried we are not good enough. We are worried that our parents will scold us. We are worried our teacher will get angry and criticize us. We are worried about losing face. We only live for others. We lose our life away trying to accord to others’ expectation. We lose the light of a happy life. Our life is controlled by all these worrisome thoughts. But if we truly recite the Buddha’s Name, our mind will be at ease. Amitabha Buddha takes away our worries by replacing them with Namo Amitabha Buddha. We will realise all these worries and views are not important and we will gradually pay no attention to them. Our true life is Buddha recitation. That is our real identity. Our mind will be at ease as we will pay no attention to those unreal things, words and ideas. Our worries only arise when we care too much about the mundane matters. The author has not learnt about Buddhism. This is her experience in death. What she has written is very personal, true experience, not something that we learn from a book. Her experience gives her an awakening to the reality of life and she lives out her life in this awakening. I saw her video and I feel she is an enlightened person. An enlightened person may not be replete with spiritual penetration. But she will reveal her love in her daily living. She is calm at ease and without any sense of fear in her mind. She leads her life in a genuine way. She said, ‘I know that cancer is not a punishment neither is it a retribution. Cancer is my energy capacity which reveals itself on my body. Because of my fear I am unable to reveal the beautiful self in me. And this is the job which should be carried out by me. I know that cancer is not a punishment which is forced on me. It is not an external force of retribution.’ This is what we often do when certain things happen, we will try to find an excuse or put the blame on reward or retribution. We treat the misfortune with anger and hatred. We often have this tendency to catogorise every happening in accord with the cause or reason. In Buddhism we talk about cause and effect. As she is not a Buddhist she says, ‘Cancer appears as a result of a change in my energy capacity. This energy shows itself in the form of cancer.’ This is because she lives in fear and worries. She does not live out her real happy self. So if we the Buddha recitation cultivators are able to reveal the bright side of life, to live without worries, there will be no more cancer for us. This is her understanding about life. That is why I have often said, ‘Lead a life of a mundane man and recite the Buddha’s Name sincerely.’ We should lead a life of Amitabha Buddha. Our life will be full of light and blessings. And we will become more loving. Finally we will lead a comfortable life and people around us will be comfortable also. This itself is the propagation of the dharma of love. Otherwise, if we cannot live a loving life, there is no point talking about anything as they will be useless. Anita said, ‘In that state which is vast and limitless, I found that I am too strict with myself. I keep on whipping myself.’ Can we feel the existence of being vast and limitless? No. We are often limited by our surrounding. As she had entered the limitless vastness, she is able to know her whole life. She knows her fault is being too strict with herself. In fact, most of us are very strict with ourselves, demanding ourselves to be like this or that. She said, ‘No one is punishing me. The person whom I cannot forgive is I myself. I have abandoned myself. I do not love myself. This matter is none of others’ business.’ No one from outside comes to punish us. It is we who punish ourselves. We cannot forgive our selves. We add on a lot of unnecessary locks and chains on ourselves. What is more for us the Buddha reciters? If we recite the Buddha’s name and on the other hand, we add on ourselves lots of locks and chains whence Amitabha Buddha is trying to unlock us, isn’t this a most pitiful situation?’ She said that she had abandoned herself. It means we throw ourselves away and become a lone ranger, an isolated person living a life of sadness, a live without love. Look at a baby. Her eyes are clear as the baby is a simple being, just like a simple puppies or baby cat. The baby can play with chickens, puppis as she does not give rise to diffentiation. Not everyone of us is like Anita. But every one of us can recite the Buddha’s name. When we recite the Buddha’s name, we will be calm. Amitabha Buddha said, ‘In the world of fear I comfort them with great love.’ It is because all the worries are gone when we accomplish Buddhahood at the Pure Land. We will not be so worried about our poverty, health problem, ugliness, stupidity, inability to recite a sutra, a mantra. All these are unimportant as finally I will become a Buddha in the Buddha Land. We will be more humorous. For example, if we are ugly we will use it as a joke. It does not matter at all. Because all the external states are not you. The real self, our real life is the Buddha’s Name. It is our true identity. It will bring ease to our mind. A baby is pure. But as it grows up, it starts to abandon himself. A baby resembles a glass of pure water. When he grows up, his greed starts to accumulate when he wants a toy, a book, good results, money, benefits, fame women and so on. All these are placed in the glass of water. Everything is a piece of mud that we put in out glass. The more we put into the glass, the more the water will flow out. This water is the genuine self. We abandon the true self, chase it out with our greed. We fill ourselves with all the rubbish. The genuine blessings and bliss are chased away. We lead an opaque life without transparency. Our life become a glass of muddy water and we live in great torment. The more we obtain, the more we lose ourselves. That is why the Buddha is truly kind. He and his disciples lead a life of a beggar. When you have nothing, you will be happy and relax. The mind retains its purity. Human beings are deluded as they think to possess a wife, children, a house, a car are called blessings. A man who truly loves himself does not love money, sex, fame, food, sleep. These five desires are the knives that will cut us into pieces and bring on great sufferings. Anita said, ‘I realise I am the child of the beautiful universe. As long as I exist, I will obtain this unconditional love.’ This is very good. I would like to make the following changes, ‘I realize that I am the son of the adorned Amitabha Buddha.’ In Buddhism we use adorned to replace the word beautiful. The universe is this Amitabha Buddha. In the Sutra we are told Amitabha Buddha is the Treasury Body of the Dharma Realm. Amitabha Buddha exists in the whole of the Dharma Realm. Of course, there are also the reward body and transformation bodies beside the dharma body. Amitabha Buddha is the immeasurable wisdom and lifespan. Anita says that the universal energy is abundant and inexhaustible, vast and without limits. This is the existence of the Buddha Nature. She says as long as she exists, she will surely obtain the unconditional love. I often also say, ‘No conditions are required for us to receive the love and rescue of Amitabha Buddha.’ Let us take the analogy of a tree. As long as it exists, it will receive the sunlight. No other condition is needed. So it is the same for the house and everything on earth. Amitabha Buddha’s Name is also known as the Light that Far-surpassing the Sun and Moon. Amitabha Buddha’s light pervasively illumines all the living beings and things in the world. As long as we exist, we will receive the light of the Buddha, the protection of his loving kindness and rescue. It is unnecessary for us to become somebody so as to receive the unconditional rescue of Amitabha Buddha. Our Master Hui Jing also wrote a book on the ‘Unconditional Rescue of the Buddha.’ Some people cannot believe. He says, ‘If this is the case everyone will commit evils.’ Such a thinking is negative and full of fear as his mind is dwelling in darkness. He is afraid that the world will go upside down. He cannot understand that as long as there is the existence, may they be a cat, a dog, a hell being, they will be taken care of by Amitabha Buddha. The only condition is they exist. This reminds me of the words of Great Master Tan Luan, ‘The future scholars who hear about the rescue of the Buddha, the rescue that relies on other’s strength, he should give rise to faith. Do not refuse such a chance. It is being stupid.’ Do not think that you should do this and that to obtain the rescue? Amitabha Buddha did not ask you to do anything. He says, ‘Living beings in the ten directions who have faith in me.’ It means they exist and the Buddha will be there to save them. Buddha recitation is not a condition. It is just a method of saving. Anita says, ‘I do not have to do anything to obtain this love.’ Just like a blade of grass in the water. Does it need to do anything to obtain water? It is unnecessary. As long as it exists, it is surrounded by the water. As long as we exist, we are surrounded by the love of Amitabha Buddha. We do not need to do anything to obtain this love and care. Once we know this, we will be fearless and calm at ease. This is the same as the sunlight which shine on the mountain and also the valley. In our life no matter what level we are we will receive the illumination of Amitabha Buddha. Anita says, ‘No prayer, no seeking is needed.’ Amitabha’s rescue is there always. As long as we recite, we will be saved by him. Amitabha Buddha says, ‘All living beings in the ten directions who call on me will be saved by me. You only have to say out my name.’ You say you are dumb and cannot call the name. Such a man who understands the rescue of Buddha will also be saved even if he cannot pronounce the Name. But if you are unwilling, you are creating an obstacle for yourself. That is why our dharma door is known as the ‘The Dharma is taught without being asked.’, the ‘Befriend us without being asked’. As long as we trust him, he will come personally to take us to his Pure Land. On hearing that nothing is needed to be done, some will be confused. They want to do something, to clean the altar, to change the water, to offer some fruits and incense, to sit in meditation and so on. They think this will help them to attain a rebirth. They have to do something. They do not realise what they need to do is to reveal the beautiful self, to lead the adorned life and let themselves become the love. As long as we sit there and lead a loving life we are in accord with the love of the Buddha Amitabha. When the sun is shining, you say, ‘It is good. A shiny day.’ When it is raining, you say, ‘Very good. It is raining now.’ When it snows, you say, ‘Good, I love snow.’ This way of living is to add the positive loving energy to this universe. You are spreading the pure and harmony energy to the universe. In the Buddha Dharma it is known as the lights shine on one another. The whole universe will receive the positive energy of your loving and harmonious mind. So, what you need to do is to recite Namo Amitabha Budda loudly, softly, silently. All will be ok. If we live this way, Amitabha Buddha will be most happy to see us. It is just like a child who is sleeping in the cradle. Doing nothing. What do you think? Will the mother be happy to see him like that? Yes, of course. She will be very glad with him just sleeping there. Nothing has to be done. A child in the arms of his mother is the revelation of total trust. And this is the same for us to be in the arms of Amitabha Buddha. We just relax and trust him. We will lead a happy life. And this is the genuine way of living in accord with the love of oneself. More often than not we lead a life with worries, fear, twisted emotions and trying to cover up our faults. Our adorned life cannot be revealed. Everyday, we live in fear and worries. This is adding chains and locks to ourselves. Anita says, ‘I have never truly loved myself before. I have never valued my existence. I have never seen the adorned soul in me.’ She uses soul to describe herself. In the Buddha Dharma this refers to the beauty and adorned Buddha Nature. She said, ‘I am so beautiful yet I have never realised it. It is replaced with the hard facts of mundane existence. I decay because I do not understand my beautiful soul.’ In the Buddha Dharma it is described as all living beings are originally the Buddha. Yet we do not live, in accord with our Buddha Nature. We are often controlled by our mundane existence, the salary, the examination results and such like. We forget of our Buddha Nature. We lead a life of decay, a life of erosion. This is the General path of Buddhism. From the angle of Buddha Recitation, the rescue of Amitabha is always with us, only that we do not realise it. We try all kinds of methods hoping for the Buddha to rescue us. We do not know that we just have to admit we are the mundane men who are covered with offences. There is no other way to save ourselves if we do not rely on Amitabha Buddha. Then we let go and recite the Buddha’s Name wholeheartedly. This is the way to be saved by the Buddha. But most people cannot understand this. They want to do something good, to be pretentious and make out something good of himself, to scold people for their lacking in virtues and such like. This is against the practise of this pure land door. Why cannot the people in the world see their pretention? It is because they are also not living a true life. Their eyes are not clear enough to see through this pretention. A fake man sees something fake and he will treat it as genuine. A clear -headed man will surely be able to see through all these false masks. If we were to wear a false mask for too long it will be difficult to remove it. It has grown on to our skin. It will be painful if we want to remove this fake mask. So it takes time for us to loosen this false mask as we have been wearing them for too long. Anita says, ‘This understanding makes me realise that I do not have to be frightened anymore.’ There is no more fear in her mind. It is a mind of calm and bliss. It is a mind which is full of hope. It is a comforting mind that can soothe others. With this calm and happy mind it is already a contribution to all around us. It is already a protection and mindfulness to all around us. We do not have to do anything at all. Most of us live in fear. We pay for insurance because we are afraid when we get old, we have no money, no money to pay the medical fees. We get married out of fear that we will be lonely. Why do we give birth to children? We are afraid no one will take care of us at old age. Why do we go to school? It is because we are afraid of our mother’s anger. Why must we study hard? We are afraid of our teacher. Why do we go to university? We are afraid people will look down on us. Can we live without fear? We cannot. Even our mother who loves us so much say we will suffer if we do not study hard. From our young age we receive the education of fear. We are threatened by our beloved parents, our responsible teachers. We do not receive the education of love. So, if we love our children, do not add fear to them. We must give only love and courage so that they can face life with their original positive energy, positive strength. This is because the world is full of twisted people, fake people, suffering people. There are very few upright men, genuine men, happy and hopeful men around. I only hope all of you my lotus friends will bring up a future generation who is upright, genuine, happy and hopeful with the strength of Amitabha Buddha. So, we must lead a life based on the right values taught by Amitabha Buddha. If we teach our child to fight for self -benefit, to contend with others, we are making them blind so that they do not see the truth of life. This is harming them. If we are enlightened to this, we will only rely on Amitabha Buddha. We are not afraid to be lonely. We will be at ease. Those who see the light, the warmth of the Buddha will no longer be frightened. Anita says, ‘I realise this is a state that can be reached by myself and everyone.’ In Zen sect it is said all living beings are Buddha. In the Buddha recitation door, everyone can recite the Name, everyone can attain a rebirth and everyone can accomplish Buddhahood. This is the bestowment by Amitabha Buddha. All the things that we fight for may not be beneficial to us. Everything that benefits us are often free. For example, the air we take in every instant is free. We do not pay to stand on the earth. We do not pay to look at the sky above. Whatever we fight and earn to get are valueless. Everything that is valuable is free. In the general practice it is said, ‘No cultivation is the cultivation. Nothing is obtainable. This is the state of a bodhisattva. The original face of all dharma often dwells in the mark of still extinction. Our Buddha Nature is replete with all merits and virtues. We cannot cultivate anything to enhance it. This is because all the things that we can do are only dreams, illusion, bubbles and shadow. Whatever that we do, that we create are not in accord with our Buddha Nature. The Buddha Nature is always there, original and shining out naturally. And in our Pure Land Dharma, whatever we have offered, whatever we have done are not the causes for our attainment of a rebirth. Attaining a rebirth is the state of nothing doing. It stays apart from creation or doing. It is a natural state. Reciting Namo Amitabha Buddha helps us to return to this state. Anita said, ‘So I decided to return to the mundane world.’ She has enlightened to the opportunity of life and she decided to come back to tell us about life. Just like many Pure Land cultivators who say that they will not come back any more to sufferings. Yet when they arrive at the Pure Land and brings forth the Bodhi mind, they will come back by themselves to help other beings. Anita said, ‘When I was on the verge of death, I realised the universe comes forth from unconditional love. I am one of the revelations of this love in my present form.’ For the scientists they will say the universe is made from electron, protons, neutrons and so on. This is talking only at the surface level, the materials. But as she talked from her true experienc,e she can see all the things, all the people are the expression of this universal love. When she comes back from death, she deeply penetrates the genuine love the mother universe and her wavelength is in accord with the universal love. She comes back as a healthy woman. So once there is a change in our mind set, the body, the people and the surroundings will also change. In the eyes of Buddha and Bodhisattva there is no differentiation of filth and purity. Everything is pure and adorned in its own expression. Every one of us is the art piece of this unconditional love or in the Buddha’s words, the Buddha Nature. She said, ‘I cannot change into another form as it is my original expression, original nature of this unconditional love.’ Everything that exists is the expression of the Buddha Nature. Even something which is defiled or unwholesome is also part of the expression of this unconditional everlasting love. That is why the Buddha says, ‘All the Dharma from the original state dwells constantly in still extinction.’ Still extinction refers to Nirvana the state of the Buddha. So, when we recite the Buddha’s Name we will enter the Buddha’s dwelling. ‘The energy capacity of the strength of life forms derives from love. And I am made from the universal energy capacity. On knowing this, I realise I do not need to become somebody else. And my true value will not be depreciated too.’ Anita said, So, it is unnecessary for us to become another man. A business man does not need to become Jack Ma. Why is this so? It is because you are equal to him. He is not higher than you. He has the Buddha Nature and you also have the Buddha Nature. Every one is equal. So we do not need to measure in terms of money especially if we truly know the benefits of Buddha recitation. In the eyes of the Buddha every one of us is a shining star. We do not need to chase after another star. Just imagine the havoc it will be when the stars do not dwell in its orbit and try to chase after another star. What a chaos the universe will become. Everyone of our existence is in perfect conditions in the eyes of the Buddha and Bodhisattva. ‘This is the I that I have always wanted to be.’ she said. We must learn to appreciate ourselves, accept ourselves and love ourselves. This ‘I’ is invaluable under the unconditional love of the Rescue of Amitabha Buddha. We are his precious sons, the pearls on his hand. If we are accepted by the Buddha, we will be so happy as we will have no complaint about ourselves. We are often surrounded by people who keep on complaining about us. The first one is our mother who says that we are not clever, we have low marks. We are not filial. We earn too little. See how our mother teaches us not to appreciate ourselves. Then we are blamed by our teacher, our classmates, our girl -friend and so on. Then comes Amitabha Buddha who studies us and says, ‘Put aside all the complaints. You are qualified to attain Buddhahood. No problem at all. I give you 100 percent.’ That is why we Buddha Recitation Practitioners are always at ease under the shine of Amitabha Buddha who give us the confirmation. This is the greatest benefits the Buddha bestows upon us. Buddhism brings hope and bliss to the world, the universe. So, in this life’s time we must try our best to lead a life of Amitabha Buddha. Do not be swayed by the mundane values, mundane eyes, mundane perspective. We rely only on the outlook of the Buddha and Bodhisattva. ‘Once we know that we are this love, it is unnecessary to purposely go forth to shower love on others. As long as we are faithful to our original nature, we will automatically become the tools of love, touching the hearts of everyone who have affinity with us.’ This part of her speech is very good. If we are already the lamp, there is no need for us to go out purposely to shine on others. The lamp just stands at its place and it manages to brighten up the place. So, when we are the LOVE, we will naturally touch those around us with our love. Take a look at our Master Hui Jing. He sits there quietly and yet every one of us are calm and happy naturally. So when we become the love, wherever we are, all will feel calm at ease, without any fear. Anita said, ‘The most important thing I have learnt is I am the Love itself. All my fears are gone. This is the reason I come into life again.’ Amitabha Buddha said, ‘I will transform all the fear into great calmness, great serenity’ When We recite His Name we are charged with his love. We also become the love. We will leave behind all fear. ‘My dear, you will always be loved. You do not need to harbour any fear. There is no way for you to commit any errors.’ Always think about these three sentences. There is the light of truth in it. This is spoken by a non -Buddhist who was on the verge of her death and who lives again. How about us the Buddha Recitation Practitioners? Can we deny the love of Amitabha Buddha, His unconditional love of rescue? From this story we know the unconditional love of rescue of the Buddha pervasively surrounds us. We must have faith in this and lead a life of joy with no more fear. Nowadays, everyone lives in fear. We must learn to replete ourselves with love and bring this shine to others, to lead them out of fear. Love yourself and love others. Namo Amitabha Buddha. A dharma talk by Dharma Master Shi Jing Zong, the Abbot of the Hong Yuan Monastery in Anhui, China entitled: Dying Once to Learn to Love

In the Era of Fear I Comfort them with Great Love
Anita Moorjani was cured from cancer not because of a certain medicine, vaccine or chemotherapy. She was cured because of this Great Love. Anita Moorjani is a forty years old woman who is simple and honest. She was born in India, grew up in Singapore and was English educated. Later she went to Hong Kong. She knows Tamil, English and Cantonese. In 2002 the doctor said that she was down with cancer lymphoma or the blood cell tumor. After four years, in 2006 seventy percent of her body is covered with the cancerous cells. She stayed in the hospital, suffering terribly because of this illness. Later the doctor pronounced her death. After three days she woke up and was cured miraculously. This is truly inconceivable when she woke up from her death. In her mind she was very sure she was cured already. No treatment was needed. But she was very weak. She could not even talk. The doctor was surprised of her condition and again they carried out a checking on her body and found that she was free from all symptoms of cancer. In her mind she knew she was already cured. In her mind there was a great transformation that she personally experienced. And all the cells on her body were transformed into healthy cells. Later she wrote a book entitles: After dying once I finally learn to love’ By looking at this title, it coincides with Master Shan Dao’s teaching on the one with deep faith in the dharma. He said, ‘Standing here is waiting to die. Going forward is also death. Turning back, I too cannot escape from death.’ This can be found in the ‘Analogy of two rivers and one white lane’ the three sure deaths. If we have died once, we will truly give ourselves up. This is the same as the Pure Land teaching that we have to admit we are the sinful mundane man. We lose all hope as we have no ways to leave the triple realm. In cultivation we need to really undergo a total death in order to really practise the path. The zen cultivator says this is known as undergoing great death and great living. Otherwise, no real cultivation can be expected because most of us are very arrogant, very self-centred, without much changes in our stubborn mindset. That is why she said after dying once only she managed to learn how to love. In the Pure Land door this is known as having deep faith. Such a man will surely have faith in Amitabha’s 48 vows to gather in living beings without any doubts and suspicion. By relying on the strength of the Buddha’s Vows we will surely attain a rebirth. This is living in the great love of Namo Amitabha Buddha. We receive the love of Amitabha Buddha. Only then we can have the genuine love and we are able to learn to love. If we do not feel the love of Amitabha Buddha, we will not know how to love. Our love will be frightening as it is an attachment, a desire to control, to possess others. Such a love is impure, it is a threat to us. If we are not careful it might turn into hatred. Such is a frightful kind of love. If we learn from Amitabha Buddha, the love is pure, without condition and transparent. This is truly loving a person. It is not easy to learn this. We look at the couples around us. So many got married and end up in divorce. How about those who do not get a divorce? Yes, they spend the whole life fighting！The truly loving couples are as few as the stars in the broad day light. So, learning to love is our homework for the whole life. It is not easy. Today I would like to discuss this passage with you. After reading her writing I feel most shameful as what the author has said is very true in accord with her experience. Even though I have left home for more than twenty years, receiving the teaching of the Buddha, the guidance of the patriarch, the exhortation of my Master, the help of my lotus friends and all, I still feel I am lacking in genuine practice and virtues. On the contrary this lady has not met with the Buddha Dharma. She has such an awakening after dying once, it is truly a gain for her. She said, ‘After my body stopped functioning, I entered into another world.’ She was so seriously ill that her heart, her liver and everything stopped functioning. This is to show there is a world after death. She said, ‘I saw myself as a very wonderful person. This is because I was not terrorised until I had a change in shape.’ ‘I felt there was this vibrant energy around me and I was able to enter it. I realise if a man can see his wonderful existence, he must be the happiest man.’ Most of us like to complain about our imperfect existence. We often think thus, ‘I do not have enough money. I am not healthy. I am not pretty. I do not have enough clothing ….’ Here we must learn to see the good points in us, to appreciate the value of our existence. A woman who can say like this is truly very calm in mind. A man who always complains about himself will not be able to live happily each day. So, without knowing the love of Amitabha for us, we will be a great complainer. We complain about no money, we complain about our look, our wrinkles and so on and so forth. What kind of life will this be with so many complaints? She said, ‘I found that there was this power surrounding me.’ When we pass away, we will no longer be using our eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body and mind to observe. Instead, we will be awakened to our innate Buddha. She felt she is surrounded by this vibrant field of energy and she is also this energy. What kind of power is this? It is a kind of energy. It is always in the universe or the dharma realm in the Buddhist terms. In fact, this is Amitabha Buddha. This is the strength of the Buddha Nature. She uses her Buddha Nature to experience the Buddha Nature. It exists forever. It is neither born nor become extinct. If the Buddha enters the world or does not enter the world, it is always there without changing. Of course, she does not use these Buddhist terms. She said, ‘When I give up the attachment to the mundane world, I enter another world effortlessly. It is unnecessary to pray, to recite a sutra or to give a dharma talk. It is unnecessary to seek forgiveness, repentance or other methods.’ ‘Death gives me the feeling that I do not need to do anything. It is just as though I am telling someone I am coming to the end. I cannot do anything anymore. I give up. Whatever you want to do I will just accept.’ I feel that this passage is very near in meaning to the Pure Land’s view. It means when we die, we have just to let go as nothing can be done anymore. Most people die in torment as there are many attachments in this world. They are worried about their children, money and work. Some people find it difficult to die. So, from here we must learn to let go when it is our turn to leave the world. Moreover, we have the promise from Amitabha Buddha who will come to receive us in accord with the strength of his vows. It is much easier for us. This lady just let go and she entered another world. Her state should be quite high too. I will explain below. I feel that she had arrived at the border of the Pure Land. Her state of an awakened mind showed that she was not in the heaven. She seemed to be enlightened to the Buddha nature and non -existence of a self. She experienced the light of enlightenment and returned to life, to lead a life of love. So, in our practice we are told to let go of all attachment and to wish for a rebirth in the Pure Land relying on Amitabha’s strength of vows. So from here we can see it is very easy to be born in the World of Ultimate Bliss. She said it is unnecessary to recite a sutra, a dharma or seeking for forgiveness. She enters the other world naturally when she simply gives up herself. I remember once I went with my Master to console a dying man. I was very touched by my Master’s words. He said kindly to the man who is on the verge of death, ‘So and so, now we will recite Namo Amitabha Buddha. If you can recite, then recite together. If you can’t, just lay down and relax. It is ok if you just listen to our recitation.’ Are not these words very comforting? The dying man will feel very safe and relax. But if you were to say, ‘So and so, this is the last chance. Bring out all your strength to face death. If you can recite then recite together. If you cannot recite, you must try also!’ On listening to this threat, the sick man is stressed out. He will die instantly as he has no strength to join in recitation. The Master who with his great love understands the rescue of Amitabha Buddha is a natural process that he is able to say in such a comforting way. No condition is needed. There is no threat nor fright in his words. A man who threatens people is not calm as he must be frightened too in his mind. That is why what he says will frighten people, giving stress to others. If we are loving in our mind, our words will only bring love, peace and calm to others. People will feel our love for them. So, this lady says it is unnecessary to read or recite any prayer or seeking forgiveness. This is because the wavelength of her mind is on a par with the great love of the universe. She naturally enters it. Namo Amitabha Buddha is a dharma that requires no seeking or pleading. It is a dharma of rescue without condition. When we recite Namo Amitabha Buddha, the wavelength of our mind is the same as Amitabha Buddha. So, we will attain a rebirth naturally. Many of us who do not understand the kindness of Amitabha Buddha will seek a rebirth by pleading to the Buddha every day. His mind is unsettled and frightened that he might be left out. This is because he does not understand when he recites the Buddha’s name, the wavelength of his mind is in the same frequency with Amitabha Buddha’s mind and vows. Then people will ask, ‘Do we still go to recite the Buddha’s Name for the dying man?’ ‘Yes, of course.’ This is because the dying man has yet to understand this point. When we recite for him, he will be safe in the shine of Namo Amitabha Buddha. This is a method which is bestowed upon us to save us with this Name in accord with the strength of the Buddha’s vows. When she says to somebody, this refers to Amitabha Buddha. She says she cannot do anything anymore and she gives up. She gives herself up to the Buddha. So, when we die do not try to fight with death and refuse to die. We must just admit we are the offender and we need the help of Amitabha Buddha to take us, to rescue us. Namo is to admit we take refuge in the Buddha, we surrender ourselves. When we cultivate this door, we must not add in our ideas. We must just let Amitabha Buddha to decide for us. This is because Amitabha has the power of great vow, the extensive great strength of the Buddha Nature, the strength of immeasurable light, the strength of immeasurable lifespan. We just have to give up all planning. He will plan for us. So, when we recite the Name of the Buddha, just recite without thinking of doing this or that trying so hard to reach a certain acceptable standard. These are all unnecessary. This type of thinking is the habit of the sagely path cultivators. When we sit on the plane, just sit there. The plane will bring you to your destiny. It is unnecessary for you to help the plane to fly. Amitabha Buddha the pilot does not need you to fly the plane. If he needs your help then he is not known as Amitabha Buddha. Anita said, ‘In the other world, I found that my mind is very clear and bright. I realise by myself that I will only die out of the fear and terror in my mind.’ These words are very true. Clarity of mind means her mind is pure. In this world our mind is turbid, dark and deluded. That is why are enveloped in all kinds of worries and terror. But once we arrive at the Pure Land, we will naturally be pure and bright. This is because the land is pure and is enveloped in bright illumination. She said she naturally know she will be cured. This knowing ability is possessed by us originally. No learning is needed because our Buddha nature is originally pure and bright. In the Saha world our ability is being covered up by afflictions. But when we arrive at the World of Ultimate Bliss, we will naturally possess this ability. This ability reappears relying on the strength of Vows of Amitabha Buddha. When we arrive at the Pure Land, we will naturally possess the ability to make offerings to the Buddha. On hearing one sentence we are enlightened to the millions. Our mind is opened up to the thousands of million Dharanis. Everyone of us have this innate ability. And Amitabha Buddha’s strength of Vows enhances its opening. In this Saha World our innate nature is all covered up and cannot function. In the world of ultimate bliss, by relying on Amitabha Buddha’s strength of great vows, our innate ability is open up. So they are not contradicting. ‘I naturally know the source of the thought that I will die. The source is I was frightened. If there is no fear, there is no death.’ In actuality there is no death. It is only our fear of death that this illusion comes froth. In Buddha dharma we should know death itself is an illusion. Time is also an illusion. That is why the Buddha speaks all the Sutra in this manner, ‘Thus have I heard, at one time the Buddha was…..’ No specific time is stated. Now the physics has proven its illusory. As time is an illusion, it does not exist. Let me give you an example of what is meant by death. It is as if we are driving a car into a tunnel. The shape of the tunnel resembles that of a tomb. And we keep on driving into it. We say we are entering the tomb, that we are going to die soon. We are threatened as the entrance represents death. We continue on our journey in the tunnel and later leave the tunnel, again travelling on our way to another destiny. The entrance of the tunnel, the funeral wreath looks like the tomb. For us, death is a terrible idea that we are fearful of it. We do not know life is a continuity and there is no death. It is our wrong concept that there is this section of birth and death. No one can do anything about it until they personally realise it. ‘I am unable to live out my real self as I have too much worried.’ Most of us live in this world wearing a mask. If everyone of us is free to show our real self this is the most beautiful side of a self. Why cannot we live the way we should live? It is because we are always burdened with worries. We are worried we are not good enough. We are worried that our parents will scold us. We are worried our teacher will get angry and criticize us. We are worried about losing face. We only live for others. We lose our life away trying to accord to others’ expectation. We lose the light of a happy life. Our life is controlled by all these worrisome thoughts. But if we truly recite the Buddha’s Name, our mind will be at ease. Amitabha Buddha takes away our worries by replacing them with Namo Amitabha Buddha. We will realise all these worries and views are not important and we will gradually pay no attention to them. Our true life is Buddha recitation. That is our real identity. Our mind will be at ease as we will pay no attention to those unreal things, words and ideas. Our worries only arise when we care too much about the mundane matters. The author has not learnt about Buddhism. This is her experience in death. What she has written is very personal, true experience, not something that we learn from a book. Her experience gives her an awakening to the reality of life and she lives out her life in this awakening. I saw her video and I feel she is an enlightened person. An enlightened person may not be replete with spiritual penetration. But she will reveal her love in her daily living. She is calm at ease and without any sense of fear in her mind. She leads her life in a genuine way. She said, ‘I know that cancer is not a punishment neither is it a retribution. Cancer is my energy capacity which reveals itself on my body. Because of my fear I am unable to reveal the beautiful self in me. And this is the job which should be carried out by me. I know that cancer is not a punishment which is forced on me. It is not an external force of retribution.’ This is what we often do when certain things happen, we will try to find an excuse or put the blame on reward or retribution. We treat the misfortune with anger and hatred. We often have this tendency to catogorise every happening in accord with the cause or reason. In Buddhism we talk about cause and effect. As she is not a Buddhist she says, ‘Cancer appears as a result of a change in my energy capacity. This energy shows itself in the form of cancer.’ This is because she lives in fear and worries. She does not live out her real happy self. So if we the Buddha recitation cultivators are able to reveal the bright side of life, to live without worries, there will be no more cancer for us. This is her understanding about life. That is why I have often said, ‘Lead a life of a mundane man and recite the Buddha’s Name sincerely.’ We should lead a life of Amitabha Buddha. Our life will be full of light and blessings. And we will become more loving. Finally we will lead a comfortable life and people around us will be comfortable also. This itself is the propagation of the dharma of love. Otherwise, if we cannot live a loving life, there is no point talking about anything as they will be useless. Anita said, ‘In that state which is vast and limitless, I found that I am too strict with myself. I keep on whipping myself.’ Can we feel the existence of being vast and limitless? No. We are often limited by our surrounding. As she had entered the limitless vastness, she is able to know her whole life. She knows her fault is being too strict with herself. In fact, most of us are very strict with ourselves, demanding ourselves to be like this or that. She said, ‘No one is punishing me. The person whom I cannot forgive is I myself. I have abandoned myself. I do not love myself. This matter is none of others’ business.’ No one from outside comes to punish us. It is we who punish ourselves. We cannot forgive our selves. We add on a lot of unnecessary locks and chains on ourselves. What is more for us the Buddha reciters? If we recite the Buddha’s name and on the other hand, we add on ourselves lots of locks and chains whence Amitabha Buddha is trying to unlock us, isn’t this a most pitiful situation?’ She said that she had abandoned herself. It means we throw ourselves away and become a lone ranger, an isolated person living a life of sadness, a live without love. Look at a baby. Her eyes are clear as the baby is a simple being, just like a simple puppies or baby cat. The baby can play with chickens, puppis as she does not give rise to diffentiation. Not everyone of us is like Anita. But every one of us can recite the Buddha’s name. When we recite the Buddha’s name, we will be calm. Amitabha Buddha said, ‘In the world of fear I comfort them with great love.’ It is because all the worries are gone when we accomplish Buddhahood at the Pure Land. We will not be so worried about our poverty, health problem, ugliness, stupidity, inability to recite a sutra, a mantra. All these are unimportant as finally I will become a Buddha in the Buddha Land. We will be more humorous. For example, if we are ugly we will use it as a joke. It does not matter at all. Because all the external states are not you. The real self, our real life is the Buddha’s Name. It is our true identity. It will bring ease to our mind. A baby is pure. But as it grows up, it starts to abandon himself. A baby resembles a glass of pure water. When he grows up, his greed starts to accumulate when he wants a toy, a book, good results, money, benefits, fame women and so on. All these are placed in the glass of water. Everything is a piece of mud that we put in out glass. The more we put into the glass, the more the water will flow out. This water is the genuine self. We abandon the true self, chase it out with our greed. We fill ourselves with all the rubbish. The genuine blessings and bliss are chased away. We lead an opaque life without transparency. Our life become a glass of muddy water and we live in great torment. The more we obtain, the more we lose ourselves. That is why the Buddha is truly kind. He and his disciples lead a life of a beggar. When you have nothing, you will be happy and relax. The mind retains its purity. Human beings are deluded as they think to possess a wife, children, a house, a car are called blessings. A man who truly loves himself does not love money, sex, fame, food, sleep. These five desires are the knives that will cut us into pieces and bring on great sufferings. Anita said, ‘I realise I am the child of the beautiful universe. As long as I exist, I will obtain this unconditional love.’ This is very good. I would like to make the following changes, ‘I realize that I am the son of the adorned Amitabha Buddha.’ In Buddhism we use adorned to replace the word beautiful. The universe is this Amitabha Buddha. In the Sutra we are told Amitabha Buddha is the Treasury Body of the Dharma Realm. Amitabha Buddha exists in the whole of the Dharma Realm. Of course, there are also the reward body and transformation bodies beside the dharma body. Amitabha Buddha is the immeasurable wisdom and lifespan. Anita says that the universal energy is abundant and inexhaustible, vast and without limits. This is the existence of the Buddha Nature. She says as long as she exists, she will surely obtain the unconditional love. I often also say, ‘No conditions are required for us to receive the love and rescue of Amitabha Buddha.’ Let us take the analogy of a tree. As long as it exists, it will receive the sunlight. No other condition is needed. So it is the same for the house and everything on earth. Amitabha Buddha’s Name is also known as the Light that Far-surpassing the Sun and Moon. Amitabha Buddha’s light pervasively illumines all the living beings and things in the world. As long as we exist, we will receive the light of the Buddha, the protection of his loving kindness and rescue. It is unnecessary for us to become somebody so as to receive the unconditional rescue of Amitabha Buddha. Our Master Hui Jing also wrote a book on the ‘Unconditional Rescue of the Buddha.’ Some people cannot believe. He says, ‘If this is the case everyone will commit evils.’ Such a thinking is negative and full of fear as his mind is dwelling in darkness. He is afraid that the world will go upside down. He cannot understand that as long as there is the existence, may they be a cat, a dog, a hell being, they will be taken care of by Amitabha Buddha. The only condition is they exist. This reminds me of the words of Great Master Tan Luan, ‘The future scholars who hear about the rescue of the Buddha, the rescue that relies on other’s strength, he should give rise to faith. Do not refuse such a chance. It is being stupid.’ Do not think that you should do this and that to obtain the rescue? Amitabha Buddha did not ask you to do anything. He says, ‘Living beings in the ten directions who have faith in me.’ It means they exist and the Buddha will be there to save them. Buddha recitation is not a condition. It is just a method of saving. Anita says, ‘I do not have to do anything to obtain this love.’ Just like a blade of grass in the water. Does it need to do anything to obtain water? It is unnecessary. As long as it exists, it is surrounded by the water. As long as we exist, we are surrounded by the love of Amitabha Buddha. We do not need to do anything to obtain this love and care. Once we know this, we will be fearless and calm at ease. This is the same as the sunlight which shine on the mountain and also the valley. In our life no matter what level we are we will receive the illumination of Amitabha Buddha. Anita says, ‘No prayer, no seeking is needed.’ Amitabha’s rescue is there always. As long as we recite, we will be saved by him. Amitabha Buddha says, ‘All living beings in the ten directions who call on me will be saved by me. You only have to say out my name.’ You say you are dumb and cannot call the name. Such a man who understands the rescue of Buddha will also be saved even if he cannot pronounce the Name. But if you are unwilling, you are creating an obstacle for yourself. That is why our dharma door is known as the ‘The Dharma is taught without being asked.’, the ‘Befriend us without being asked’. As long as we trust him, he will come personally to take us to his Pure Land. On hearing that nothing is needed to be done, some will be confused. They want to do something, to clean the altar, to change the water, to offer some fruits and incense, to sit in meditation and so on. They think this will help them to attain a rebirth. They have to do something. They do not realise what they need to do is to reveal the beautiful self, to lead the adorned life and let themselves become the love. As long as we sit there and lead a loving life we are in accord with the love of the Buddha Amitabha. When the sun is shining, you say, ‘It is good. A shiny day.’ When it is raining, you say, ‘Very good. It is raining now.’ When it snows, you say, ‘Good, I love snow.’ This way of living is to add the positive loving energy to this universe. You are spreading the pure and harmony energy to the universe. In the Buddha Dharma it is known as the lights shine on one another. The whole universe will receive the positive energy of your loving and harmonious mind. So, what you need to do is to recite Namo Amitabha Budda loudly, softly, silently. All will be ok. If we live this way, Amitabha Buddha will be most happy to see us. It is just like a child who is sleeping in the cradle. Doing nothing. What do you think? Will the mother be happy to see him like that? Yes, of course. She will be very glad with him just sleeping there. Nothing has to be done. A child in the arms of his mother is the revelation of total trust. And this is the same for us to be in the arms of Amitabha Buddha. We just relax and trust him. We will lead a happy life. And this is the genuine way of living in accord with the love of oneself. More often than not we lead a life with worries, fear, twisted emotions and trying to cover up our faults. Our adorned life cannot be revealed. Everyday, we live in fear and worries. This is adding chains and locks to ourselves. Anita says, ‘I have never truly loved myself before. I have never valued my existence. I have never seen the adorned soul in me.’ She uses soul to describe herself. In the Buddha Dharma this refers to the beauty and adorned Buddha Nature. She said, ‘I am so beautiful yet I have never realised it. It is replaced with the hard facts of mundane existence. I decay because I do not understand my beautiful soul.’ In the Buddha Dharma it is described as all living beings are originally the Buddha. Yet we do not live, in accord with our Buddha Nature. We are often controlled by our mundane existence, the salary, the examination results and such like. We forget of our Buddha Nature. We lead a life of decay, a life of erosion. This is the General path of Buddhism. From the angle of Buddha Recitation, the rescue of Amitabha is always with us, only that we do not realise it. We try all kinds of methods hoping for the Buddha to rescue us. We do not know that we just have to admit we are the mundane men who are covered with offences. There is no other way to save ourselves if we do not rely on Amitabha Buddha. Then we let go and recite the Buddha’s Name wholeheartedly. This is the way to be saved by the Buddha. But most people cannot understand this. They want to do something good, to be pretentious and make out something good of himself, to scold people for their lacking in virtues and such like. This is against the practise of this pure land door. Why cannot the people in the world see their pretention? It is because they are also not living a true life. Their eyes are not clear enough to see through this pretention. A fake man sees something fake and he will treat it as genuine. A clear -headed man will surely be able to see through all these false masks. If we were to wear a false mask for too long it will be difficult to remove it. It has grown on to our skin. It will be painful if we want to remove this fake mask. So it takes time for us to loosen this false mask as we have been wearing them for too long. Anita says, ‘This understanding makes me realise that I do not have to be frightened anymore.’ There is no more fear in her mind. It is a mind of calm and bliss. It is a mind which is full of hope. It is a comforting mind that can soothe others. With this calm and happy mind it is already a contribution to all around us. It is already a protection and mindfulness to all around us. We do not have to do anything at all. Most of us live in fear. We pay for insurance because we are afraid when we get old, we have no money, no money to pay the medical fees. We get married out of fear that we will be lonely. Why do we give birth to children? We are afraid no one will take care of us at old age. Why do we go to school? It is because we are afraid of our mother’s anger. Why must we study hard? We are afraid of our teacher. Why do we go to university? We are afraid people will look down on us. Can we live without fear? We cannot. Even our mother who loves us so much say we will suffer if we do not study hard. From our young age we receive the education of fear. We are threatened by our beloved parents, our responsible teachers. We do not receive the education of love. So, if we love our children, do not add fear to them. We must give only love and courage so that they can face life with their original positive energy, positive strength. This is because the world is full of twisted people, fake people, suffering people. There are very few upright men, genuine men, happy and hopeful men around. I only hope all of you my lotus friends will bring up a future generation who is upright, genuine, happy and hopeful with the strength of Amitabha Buddha. So, we must lead a life based on the right values taught by Amitabha Buddha. If we teach our child to fight for self -benefit, to contend with others, we are making them blind so that they do not see the truth of life. This is harming them. If we are enlightened to this, we will only rely on Amitabha Buddha. We are not afraid to be lonely. We will be at ease. Those who see the light, the warmth of the Buddha will no longer be frightened. Anita says, ‘I realise this is a state that can be reached by myself and everyone.’ In Zen sect it is said all living beings are Buddha. In the Buddha recitation door, everyone can recite the Name, everyone can attain a rebirth and everyone can accomplish Buddhahood. This is the bestowment by Amitabha Buddha. All the things that we fight for may not be beneficial to us. Everything that benefits us are often free. For example, the air we take in every instant is free. We do not pay to stand on the earth. We do not pay to look at the sky above. Whatever we fight and earn to get are valueless. Everything that is valuable is free. In the general practice it is said, ‘No cultivation is the cultivation. Nothing is obtainable. This is the state of a bodhisattva. The original face of all dharma often dwells in the mark of still extinction. Our Buddha Nature is replete with all merits and virtues. We cannot cultivate anything to enhance it. This is because all the things that we can do are only dreams, illusion, bubbles and shadow. Whatever that we do, that we create are not in accord with our Buddha Nature. The Buddha Nature is always there, original and shining out naturally. And in our Pure Land Dharma, whatever we have offered, whatever we have done are not the causes for our attainment of a rebirth. Attaining a rebirth is the state of nothing doing. It stays apart from creation or doing. It is a natural state. Reciting Namo Amitabha Buddha helps us to return to this state. Anita said, ‘So I decided to return to the mundane world.’ She has enlightened to the opportunity of life and she decided to come back to tell us about life. Just like many Pure Land cultivators who say that they will not come back any more to sufferings. Yet when they arrive at the Pure Land and brings forth the Bodhi mind, they will come back by themselves to help other beings. Anita said, ‘When I was on the verge of death, I realised the universe comes forth from unconditional love. I am one of the revelations of this love in my present form.’ For the scientists they will say the universe is made from electron, protons, neutrons and so on. This is talking only at the surface level, the materials. But as she talked from her true experienc,e she can see all the things, all the people are the expression of this universal love. When she comes back from death, she deeply penetrates the genuine love the mother universe and her wavelength is in accord with the universal love. She comes back as a healthy woman. So once there is a change in our mind set, the body, the people and the surroundings will also change. In the eyes of Buddha and Bodhisattva there is no differentiation of filth and purity. Everything is pure and adorned in its own expression. Every one of us is the art piece of this unconditional love or in the Buddha’s words, the Buddha Nature. She said, ‘I cannot change into another form as it is my original expression, original nature of this unconditional love.’ Everything that exists is the expression of the Buddha Nature. Even something which is defiled or unwholesome is also part of the expression of this unconditional everlasting love. That is why the Buddha says, ‘All the Dharma from the original state dwells constantly in still extinction.’ Still extinction refers to Nirvana the state of the Buddha. So, when we recite the Buddha’s Name we will enter the Buddha’s dwelling. ‘The energy capacity of the strength of life forms derives from love. And I am made from the universal energy capacity. On knowing this, I realise I do not need to become somebody else. And my true value will not be depreciated too.’ Anita said, So, it is unnecessary for us to become another man. A business man does not need to become Jack Ma. Why is this so? It is because you are equal to him. He is not higher than you. He has the Buddha Nature and you also have the Buddha Nature. Every one is equal. So we do not need to measure in terms of money especially if we truly know the benefits of Buddha recitation. In the eyes of the Buddha every one of us is a shining star. We do not need to chase after another star. Just imagine the havoc it will be when the stars do not dwell in its orbit and try to chase after another star. What a chaos the universe will become. Everyone of our existence is in perfect conditions in the eyes of the Buddha and Bodhisattva. ‘This is the I that I have always wanted to be.’ she said. We must learn to appreciate ourselves, accept ourselves and love ourselves. This ‘I’ is invaluable under the unconditional love of the Rescue of Amitabha Buddha. We are his precious sons, the pearls on his hand. If we are accepted by the Buddha, we will be so happy as we will have no complaint about ourselves. We are often surrounded by people who keep on complaining about us. The first one is our mother who says that we are not clever, we have low marks. We are not filial. We earn too little. See how our mother teaches us not to appreciate ourselves. Then we are blamed by our teacher, our classmates, our girl -friend and so on. Then comes Amitabha Buddha who studies us and says, ‘Put aside all the complaints. You are qualified to attain Buddhahood. No problem at all. I give you 100 percent.’ That is why we Buddha Recitation Practitioners are always at ease under the shine of Amitabha Buddha who give us the confirmation. This is the greatest benefits the Buddha bestows upon us. Buddhism brings hope and bliss to the world, the universe. So, in this life’s time we must try our best to lead a life of Amitabha Buddha. Do not be swayed by the mundane values, mundane eyes, mundane perspective. We rely only on the outlook of the Buddha and Bodhisattva. ‘Once we know that we are this love, it is unnecessary to purposely go forth to shower love on others. As long as we are faithful to our original nature, we will automatically become the tools of love, touching the hearts of everyone who have affinity with us.’ This part of her speech is very good. If we are already the lamp, there is no need for us to go out purposely to shine on others. The lamp just stands at its place and it manages to brighten up the place. So, when we are the LOVE, we will naturally touch those around us with our love. Take a look at our Master Hui Jing. He sits there quietly and yet every one of us are calm and happy naturally. So when we become the love, wherever we are, all will feel calm at ease, without any fear. Anita said, ‘The most important thing I have learnt is I am the Love itself. All my fears are gone. This is the reason I come into life again.’ Amitabha Buddha said, ‘I will transform all the fear into great calmness, great serenity’ When We recite His Name we are charged with his love. We also become the love. We will leave behind all fear. ‘My dear, you will always be loved. You do not need to harbour any fear. There is no way for you to commit any errors.’ Always think about these three sentences. There is the light of truth in it. This is spoken by a non -Buddhist who was on the verge of her death and who lives again. How about us the Buddha Recitation Practitioners? Can we deny the love of Amitabha Buddha, His unconditional love of rescue? From this story we know the unconditional love of rescue of the Buddha pervasively surrounds us. We must have faith in this and lead a life of joy with no more fear. Nowadays, everyone lives in fear. We must learn to replete ourselves with love and bring this shine to others, to lead them out of fear. Love yourself and love others. Namo Amitabha Buddha. A dharma talk by Dharma Master Shi Jing Zong, the Abbot of the Hong Yuan Monastery in Anhui, China entitled: Dying Once to Learn to Love

If you ‘DAMN’ Pastor Quiboloy, you ‘DAMN’ Duterte, you ‘DAMN’ the country.
A few days ago, I came across this book, 'How to Destroy A Man Now (DAMN): A Handbook' by Angela Confidential. Just from its title, you can easily tell that this is a guide to ruining a man's reputation or life.Basically, this book gives practical tactics on how ‘Allegations,’ the ‘Media,’ and the ‘Authority’ work together to dethrone a man from influence and power.
I would like to use this perspective as we navigate the issues concerning Pastor Apollo.If you want to DAMN, start with making allegations. That is the first weapon. Merriam-Webster defines allegations as ‘an assertion unsupported and by implication regarded as unsupportable.’
This means anyone who makes an allegation against any man is free from the burden of facts. So, the devils made sure he crafted piles of serious allegations to ruin Pastor Apollo’s reputation on a global scale.
The following were made since 2018, roughly six years in the making:Allegations in the United States. The perpetrators here, according to the camp of Pastor Apollo, were in connivance with former workers who had supposedly committed grave crimes in the KOJC and fled to the U.S.
The allegations include conspiracy to engage in sex trafficking, sex trafficking of children, sex trafficking by force, fraud and coercion, conspiracy, and bulk cash smuggling.Until now none of these allegations have been proven true in court, yet the U.S. government agencies like the Federal Bureau of Investigation, put Pastor Apollo's name on the Most Wanted List. In the Philippines, it’s more complicated.
Cases of alleged sexual abuse of a minor and qualified human trafficking were filed against Pastor Apollo but were easily dismissed by Philippine courts. However, recently, the Justice Department overturned the decision and Pastor Apollo is once again facing scrutiny.
The legislature, tasked with making laws, targeted Pastor Apollo through hearings. In the Senate, Senator Risa Hontiveros launched a probe against Pastor Apollo for alleged human trafficking, labor violations, and sex-related offenses. In the lower house, headed by Speaker Martin Romualdez, who is the cousin of President Bongbong Marcos, they targeted the media arm of KOJC - the Sonshine Media Network International, alleging franchise violations and implicating Pastor Apollo as the owner, thus compelling his presence at the hearing.
Notably, the House Speaker generously gave the known CPP-NPA operatives France Castro, Arlene Brosas, and Raoul Manuel the floor to launch ad hominem attacks against Pastor Apollo. They have become one of the mouthpieces of the devils.
Moreover, the House also weaponized the National Telecommunications Commission (NTC) to impose an indefinite suspension on SMNI, as well as the Movie and Television Review and Classification Board (MTRCB) to suspend two programs, including former President Duterte’s 'Gikan sa Masa Para sa Masa' and 'Laban Kasama ang Bayan,' due to alleged franchise violations. This is clearly to silence SMNI. They want to disarm the people of truth, especially about the Dutertes and about the terrorist organization CPP-NPA-NDF.
With all the missiles and bombs of allegations against Pastor Apollo, the devils now need a 'Media' platform to proliferate. If the allegation is the bullet, then the media is the gun. This is the second weapon of the Devil.Use the Power of Media.
You’ve probably heard the philosophical question, “If a tree falls in the woods, and no one hears it, did it make a sound?” The more people who know about an allegation, the more powerful it becomes.
Admit it, we're drawn to the drama, especially Filipinos, which is why you'll notice more scandalous stories in the news and media these days—everyone loves a bit of gossip!"Sex sells,” they say. When it comes to allegations against a holy or religious figure like Pastor Apollo, especially those related to flesh, it can shatter their reputation and can be particularly devastating, regardless of the truth.In a court of law, a man is presumed innocent until proven guilty. But in the court of public opinion manipulated by the media, a man “serially accused” of a scandal is guilty until proven innocent.In this scenario, an allegation doesn't need evidence to DAMN someone because media manipulation turns it into its own proof.
Thousands, even millions, of people can unite against one man.Look at the mainstream media, even the alternative that wants to gain popularity, makes Pastor Apollo their headlines because they profit from it. However, they bear little responsibility for doing it. Apparently, as long as the media labels the scandal as an "allegation," they are somewhat protected from legal consequences.
Moreover, the media can claim they are merely reporting the allegation, not making it. However, the way they report it often contributes to shaping the allegation itself.But we're not only referring to traditional media. With the rise of social media, the realm of trolls and paid vloggers/bloggers, the spread of allegations has become faster and more potent.The "evidence" and public perception of guilt crafted by allegations and the media's collaboration can grow so significant and influential that the third weapon of the Devil, 'Authority,' is compelled to intervene.Authority. In the case of Pastor Apollo, the authority being used by the devils is the US-PH government and its instrumentalities. And their mission is to fully destroy him now.According to the handbook, “Ultimately, it’s authority that plays the final role in condemning a man.
As ‘Daddy Knight’ he takes pride in his role as guardian and savior, especially of the weak, mistreated, violated, and so on. He strives to be the hero who saves the damsel in distress. In other words, authority caters to victims, and nothing gets [Authority]’s attention more than a call to action to save victims.”“Also, keep in mind that with the media’s help, allegations against authorities can be used to motivate authority to take action. Just about any widespread allegation about an authority being remiss, ineffectual, or negligent in its “guardian and savior” role will suffice.”And this is so evident with what Hontiveros is doing as well as Castro, Brosas and Manuel are doing. Listen to their words. It’s almost the same! They want to play the savior role.
They want to pretend heroes but never really give justice to the supposed victims.They are lawmakers but they act as judges. And they want justice for the supposed victims, why don’t they bring it to the proper forum which is the court? Because they’re not after justice; they’re after destroying the person of Pastor Apollo.
Hontiveros, alongside leftist lawmakers and their enablers, have shown disrespect for the sanctity of the institutions they represent.I recently came across a statement from Hontiveros, where she said in Filipino, “I also call on Quiboloy not to resort to drama.” But who's the real drama queen here? Isn’t it Hontiveros?Her bogus witnesses, as members of KOJC call them, joined the drama in the hearing.
Obviously, the script was made. What's more fascinating is that one of the 'witnesses' claimed to have seen Pastor giving a bag of guns to former President Duterte and his daughter, VP Inday Sara Duterte.Both of them denied it. The former president called it ‘silly’ and Sara Duterte has never been to Glory Mountain. It was an error in the script of the devils that they didn’t see coming.Well, if Hontiveros really wanted to stop the drama, then the alleged crimes should be brought to court.
The Senate, especially her, has no power to serve justice; its role is to make laws.The hearing was supposed to aid legislation. So, what law is she trying to make? The Philippines has one of the most laws in the world to combat human trafficking and sexual abuse cases. Did Hontiveros do her research? Or is it just in-aid of re-election?And it’s no secret that leftist lawmakers have been unmasked many times on SMNI through its program Laban Kasama ang Bayan, where former cadres unmasked who they truly are.
These individuals are often referred to as 'wolves in sheep's clothing' by these former members.It's crucial to understand the atrocities committed by the communist-terrorist groups CPP-NPA-NDF over the past five decades of insurgency, resulting in the deaths of thousands of innocent lives, including promising youth leaders, indigenous peoples, women, farmers, and individuals from all sectors affected by their deceptions.
Their objective within the government? To undermine and destroy it.
Only SMNI, of which Pastor Apollo is an honorary chair, has the courage to undertake this task: defending the government and the nation by giving enlightenment to the people.Recently, Castro said that the warrant of arrest issued against Pastor Apollo is "an important step" in obtaining justice for his victims.
Poor Castro, she lost her moral ascendancy a long time ago. I hope Castro will remember that she was charged, together with Satur Ocampo and 16 others for kidnapping and human trafficking over the transport of 14 children from Talaingod town in Davao del NorteIt's not surprising, then, that they are so eager and willing to destroy Pastor Apollo in this manner, especially when the current administration has allowed them to become the attack dogs against the good pastor.
They thirst for vengeance for the near-demise of the CPP-NPA-NDF that suffered a major blow during the Duterte presidency.
They seek to recover under the Marcos regime. This is one of the most alarming issues now that the nation must address: the 'unholy alliance' between the terrorist organization and their friends, and the government.
For now, we will pause here. We’ve given you a glimpse of the people in ‘authority’ that are part of the Devil’s playbook against Pastor Apollo.
In the upcoming parts, we will delve into the alliance dubbed as the "Unholy Trinity" involving the collusion of the US, Marcos, and the CPP, aimed at dismantling Pastor Apollo and the Dutertes.
We will explore why this has now become a matter of national significance. And why the fight of Pastor Apollo is a fight for every Filipino.
Read Part 1https://www.facebook.com/prestrackeposts/1035462161478486

I'm considering using Uber Reserve to get a ride from the airport for an upcoming trip. It will be a ~90 minute ride to my destination. I'm eager to reserve in advance because I've never taken an Uber that far before.
Uber states that they monitor flight arrival times, and give the passenger 45 minutes to meet the driver upon landing (for a regular "economy" Uber).
Isn't this an incredibly tight timeline? I don't see how anyone could make it to the Uber pickup within 45 minutes of landing if they check a bag. It usually takes 15-20 minutes just to physically exit the plane, before you even factor in walking to the baggage claim, going to the bathroom, waiting for bags to come out, wheeling your bag to the Uber pickup location, and finding your driver.
I totally understand that the driver wouldn't want to wait more than 45 minutes -- but why start that clock the moment the plane touches down?! The driver doesn't need to be there yet when the plane first lands, because literally no one would be ready to go yet then (since they're still on the plane).
Am I missing something? Will the driver really just leave 45 minutes after the plane lands? I'm thinking maybe I should cancel the Uber Reserve and just get an Uber when I'm ready. But I'm just worried that I somehow won't be able to get a ride and will be stranded 90 mins away from my destination.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Since 2021, the last few guys I have dated or had a thing with, have not given me the time of day when things have gone south. They don’t care to give me an explanation as to why they’re leaving, etc. Nor do they get into specifics about why they aren’t interested in a relationship.
However, my guy friend that I had a thing with, was the complete opposite this year. We had a thing, it was great, but he broke it off. His choice. However, he didn’t justify it and leave it alone. He kept trying to justify why he didn’t want to date. Over, and over again. Even though I never pushed anything, and stopped the moment he wanted to be friends.
He claims not to care, he claims to want easy, but I’ve sent him two total messages in three months, stating I am fine with being friends. He keeps bringing it up.

So originally this was a question from a redditor, u/Madmax0622, about why Gepirone hasn't been on the market yet despite being approved in September, 2023 and doing some research into has led to a rabbit hole of murder, intrigue, and one very disappointed boy having his father arrested at his 7th birthday party. Okay, not really, but the story is interesting and there is some important points to make about how drugs become approved and how data is represented. So i thought I would mkae it a full post (and comments have a smaller character limit).

What the hell is Gepirone?

Gepirone (Exxua) is a novel azapirone drug that is thought to work as a partial agonist at the Serotonin-1a (5HT-1a) receptor. This is a fancy way of saying that Geprione is a drug that is structurally similar to other serotonin receptor agonists. In the United States we only have Buspirone (Buspar, approved 1986) as our 5HT-1a agonist but internationally there are several others such as Perospirone (Lullan, Japan), Tandospirone (Sediel, Japan), and Binospirone (China). All in all, these drugs share very similar structures and only really differ in their pharmacokinetic properties such as half life, bioavailability, and first pass metabolism.
Where Gepirone differs from these other 5HT-1a agonists is that it is a partial agonist which means that when administered into the body, it creates a partial response to the receptor rather than a full response. While Gepirone is novel because it is the first drug who's primary mechanism of action (MOA) is this partial agonism at 5HT-1a, it is not an unknown one. Several common medications also have this mechanism, such as some newer antidepressants (Trazodone, Vilazodone, Nefazaodone), old and new antipsychotics (Haloperidol, Olanzapine, Clozapine, Ziprasidone), and some other known anti-anxiety chemicals (cannabidiol, LSD, and gingko biloba).
So if Gepirone wasn't the first drug to work on 5HT-1a, why did it get delayed?

What did the data say?

Well I should say first that Gepirone did show benefit. In a double blind trial of two different doses of Gepirone in treating depression, patients received either a high dose, low dose, or placebo and were found to have lower depression scores (HAM-D) at the end of 6 weeks. Based on these results (among other trials, it takes years and millions to submit a drug for approval--im paraphrasing here), Gepirone's pharma company Organanon submitted their data to the FDA. Their package of data contained one positive phase 3 trial--a randomized trial of over 200 participants with drepssion who either received Gepirone and had a reduction in depression score of 9.05 points (17% reduction in depression score) vs those who received placebo and had a 6.75 reduction in depression score (13% reduction) after 8 weeks of treatment.

• Their big bad trial of only ~200 people is not really robust so the FDA rejected their 2001 application and told Organanon in 2002 that they needed two large trials with positive results. Okay....Organanon submitted the two trials in 2003 and even added in data on relapsing depression when Gepirone was stopped vs continued. What they found was that people who stuck with Gepirone ER (at this point they reformulated the drug to be extended release) had a relapse rate of 23% vs people who stopped the drug had a relapse rate of 35%. The FDA looked at this data and said, "yeah that's not positive enough" and walked out of the room.

Feeling dejected, Organanon was sitting on the marble steps outside the main FDA office when little Fabre-Kramer came walking by.

"Hey Organanon, did the FDA deny your reapplication?" Fabre-Kramer asked. "Yeah, they said my drug failed to show explicit benefit. That in the analysis of the main endpoints, submitting 25 studies and only have 2 be positive against placebo and the rest be negative or fail when challenge other established drugs doesn't show positive results." "Man that really sucks. How much did you spend on developing this drug?" "About $1.3 billion." "Well that's not too bad, you just got NuvaRing (2001, still makes up 22% of their revenue) approved and are making a killing off of it. Likewise you are still making boatloads off of Mirtazapine (1997)." "Well don't tell anyone but we are actually in a major scandal with Medicaid in Massachusetts and Texas where we were defrauding state government," Organanon lamented. "Yikes, that sucks," Fabre-Kramer said, "Hey, why don't I take Gepirone off yours hands. Afterall I originally got it from Bristol-Myers Squibb in 1993 before I sold it to you in 1998." "Aight, bet."

And so Gepirone was handed off to Fabre-Kramer in 2005 so Organanon could write off this whole venture to their shareholders.
Fabre-Kramer started by conducting an additional randomized trial of 238 adult participants who received Gepirone ER for 8 weeks. Results were....the same as before--people who received Gepirone showed a 10 point reduction while the placebo group showed an 8 point reduction. In 2007 this third trial was included and sent over to the FDA for approval (for the 3rd time) and the FDA looked at it and said, "yeah no thanks kid." They said that the positive results from the most recent phase 3 trials was good but the 23 other small trials that showed negative results was troubling.
Fabre-Kramer then pushed up their glasses and pulled up their suspenders a bit and said, "I'd like to appeal that decision" and in 2012 the decision was send to the FDA's Psychopharmacologic Drugs Advisory Committee (PDAC) in Dec 2015. In a 9-4 ruling, the committee voted that Fabre-Kramer smelled funny and they were dummy and that their drug was not good enough. They said they could resubmit another drug application again when they had more data.
Eventually Fabre-Kramer did submit another application in 2022 and Gepirone ER was approved by the FDA for the treatment of Depression in 2023.

If Gepirone was denied so many times, does that mean its a bad drug?

It would be easy to look at Gepirone's story and say that the drug is just not good enough and the pharma companies had to complete multiple trials (and thus generate more data) to prove its efficacy. Truthfully, its a mixed bag and I am going to try to shoot down the middle hear so you can make an informed decision on your own if you want to try Gepirone ER.
The Good

• Its always good to have additional drugs that focus on mechanisms that we know work. Remember that Gepirone works very similarly to Buspirone, as they both affect 5HT-1a, but importantly it has a longer half life. Unlike Buspirone, Gepirone is offered as an extended release form so instead of 3-4 doses a day you'd potentially only have 1 or 2.
• Now Gepirone is a partial agonist while Buspirone is a full agonist, which does have some important pharmacodynamic factors but based on the impact of other partial 5HT-1a agonists as discussed above, we can say that Gepirone is likely to work the way we want it. So you can attack the receptor that Olanzapine affects without all of Olanzapine's other effects.
• Likewise, the side effect profile is similar to or better than Buspirone. Again, this is most likely due to the improved half life or extended release.
• Gepirone also respresents another option for a non-traditional antidepressant that 1) does not cause weiight gain and 2) does not cause sexual dysfunction--two of the biggest reasons why people stop their depression treatment.

The Bad

• The data is very meh. Look at the differences in scores in these studies of reduction in depression score when given Gepirone vs Placebo: -9.04 vs -6.75; -10.2 vs -8.0; -9.0 vs -6.6; -10.1 vs -7.8. These differences are extremely close--a difference of 3 points (12.5%) in someone's depression? Would you take a drug knowing it would only lead to a potential 12.5% reduction in your depression after 8 weeks? Now its important to note that some people did have massive benefit, and im glad they did. But on average, 12.5%. Not great.
  • Now, don't get me wrong, Buspirone also doesn't have great data. In the trial that got Buspirone approved it showed that 7.5mg 3x daily of Buspirone had a HAM-D score reduction of 10.45 points vs the placebo of 7.92. So only a 10% reduction in depression score. But, then again Buspirone was primarily approved for anxiety, not depression like Gepirone, and Buspirone shows a 30-42% reduction in anxiety score at 8 weeks. Maybe Gepirone will show better results in Depression-Anxiety copresentation.

Alright, this is where my brain is wanting to stop for now. If I think of additional things to add I will throw them in. Cheers!

1. We manifest moods, not things. Moods draw their affinities often without your conscious awareness.
   
2. What you want IS the state. You only want the thing because of the state you believe it will put you in. Enter the state first and the corresponding conditions will arrange themselves.
   
3. More often than not, being specific is placing a limitation. Stop reducing the avenues which life can use to thrive through you.
   
4. All techniques, scenes, etc. are nothing more than a means to an end, the end being the state of feeling your wish fulfilled. As such, have fun with the details because they only represent a state. Whatever gets you into the state is useful. Whatever does not usher you into the state is useless.
   
5. If what you're doing isn't working, fuck all the "theories" about this Law and experiment. My clients will readily tell you that my approach is often unorthodox. Idc, it works. I've found my own groove, and there is no authority over a law other than its own efficacy.
   
6. You can't let go of your desire because you are not the author of it. Life generates desire and impregnates us with it. Every good desire you have is a gift from above. Every harmful desire you have is nothing more than a misinterpretation of the good. Get general enough and you'll find that behind every harmful desire is a constructive desire at its root.
   
7. You can manifest anything, but for the love of god please stop demanding more of yourself than you can reasonably expect given the place you're in. We all have limiting beliefs. So fucking what? Work with where you are. Don't let these hoes tell you to just affirm ad nauseum because you're likely just reinforcing a negative perception by doing so.
   
8. I'm a coach. I have a bias here which I'll readily admit. But it can help to have accountability on this journey. If you don't want to pay for it, that's perfectly alright, find a friend or someone else into this Law who can work with you. Many people on these manifesting subs have accountability partners. Whether free or paid, get one.
   
9. Practice grace and mercy towards yourself on this journey. If you aren't being Christ to yourself, you're shooting yourself in the foot.
   
10. As Neville said, use your imagination lovingly. Don't do it because of fear of retribution, do it because you understand that it's always in your best interest to do so because of how the law operates mechanically.
    
11. Get proper sleep. Get adequate sunlight. Throw some veggies into your diet. Avoid triggers that cause you to ruminate. Value yourself more regardless of this Law, because you deserve it. ✌️
    

If it's meant to be, will it happen again?

I am F24, he is M27
It's been exactly 1 week since we broke up. I'll explain the process of the break up and then the relationship.
If this is you, my yeot, reading this, please don't.
Though we have brought up the idea of breaking up many times, this is the only time we have walked through with it. 5 weeks ago, after a hard day, after a long talk of wanting some things changed, it ended with him saying we're not compatible and should break up. I begged him to stay. After a few days we agreed to go on a 3 week break instead, to think things through, re-evaluate, give the relationship the best shot, as he would say. In the 3 weeks, we still contacted, I even went to see his family in another state, he met up with my dad as well. Then we went NC for 9 days, and we met up for the final discussion. We discussed all the things that could change. But in the end, his gut feeling told him to break it off. I could see his denial, I could feel mine. But then that was it, the end. I had told him it didn't feel like the last goodbye, he told me it wasn't...but how could it not be, if we're breaking up?
After a few days of that break up, a friend of mine told me a possible episode of emotional cheating from his part. I called and confronted him. I only want to remember him by the good memories, I wanted to hear his side of the story. He denied it. Said that there would be no use in lying anyways, I feel like deep down, when that supposed event occurred, he was still too deeply in love with me to have done anything like that. He told me that when he was with me then he was very satisfied and happy. He then thanked me for helping him out of his dark times and for making him a better person. I thanked him for breaking up with me, because in the end this is a lesson I needed to learn. I told him that if we're meant to be, our paths will merge again. He said that his mum said the same. We bid our goodbyes and that was it.
So the relationship.
I met him after I had broken up with my previous ex, then we became friends. Our chemistry was amazing, there was never an awkward moment together. He was going through a very hard time with depression and bad thoughts. In his words, I had saved him. We continued to be friends and our hands seemed to long for each other, but we denied it at first. We even made a marriage pact, because we said deep down it felt like we're meant to be. Then after some time we started to, I guess we get into a situationship. He desperately wanted more, asked me out everyday for a month, until by luck we started dating. By luck because he made a bet with me, if our golf balls from the dispenser came out the same colour, I would be his girlfriend. I thought it would be fun and agreed. When the balls came out pink, he screamed and jumped up and down.
We went on so many adventures, so many nights spent up late together. We would tell each other that we have the rest of our lives together, that we needn't rush a thing.
Then life started throwing difficulties at us. 1st one, his friends disagreed with us. Said that it was either me or them. He chose me. 2nd His best friend had potentially landed him in jail due to possible fraud, he loses a lot of money. We get over that. 3rd my mental health deteriorated due to familial issues. He helped me, let me into his house and looked after me. I stayed there for 6 months until he had to focus on his final medical exam. 4th and biggest hurdle, during that stay his ex contacted me, as a girl. She was someone he met online and was in a relationship with for 1 year. They have never met. Exposed me to a side of him I never knew existed. Told me he had cheated on her with me. Told me that he had a long history of cheating. That was one of the hardest night of my life. I screamed and cried. He denied it at first until he couldn't anymore. He desperately wanted to run away from that part of his life. I decided to stay. I loved him too much to not. I still do. We then tried for the next year to mend the relationship from that, build the trust back. It was horrible. She then contacted me again, claiming that he had cheated on me with his ex when he went back interstate to visit his family, said that she had proof, but would never give me any proof. She had an ulterior motive of having me check is he had deleted her nudes. That once again broke my heart. Still I chose to stay, her words didn't seem sincere, it also didn't make sense.
He decided to stay in the state I live in hopes that when I graduate we would move to his. It was a hard decision for him since he so frequently feels homesick.
Over time, I finally for the first time in my life, felt ok. I stopped yearning for death. He helped me see the beauty in the world, and the beauty of being alive. Hope for the future.
Then came the next year of the relationship. He starts working. Very long hours ranging from 12 to 16. This was hard. He also had to work rural for 3 months, twice. I wanted more of his time, time he couldn't give me. I wanted more of his attention, attention he couldn't give me. We fought almost weekly. Reaching the first of his proposed break up, that it wasn't working. After a few hours of talking, he said he wanted to try still. This was 6 months before now. We tried out best, to work it out. But this is where we are now.
I had many wrongs in the relationship. I had not been supportive. I was not considerate. But also, I do believe we really are, at this moment anyway, not compatible. Too immature, too volatile, too scared, too insecure. I had made him feel insecure by trying to leave many times at the start. He had made me feel insecure with his words and the few times he had tried to break up.
We both agreed that what we had was special.
Maybe after some time apart, our relationship can rest and start from a new beginning. Maybe we’ll be more mature, better, maybe we’ll both decide to fully commit to each other. Sadly, we may also never meet again. That idea makes me want to puke. I hope that in another world the forever we talked about happens.
I feel sick thinking about a forever without him. I can only wish that we are meant to be and that we will be again.
I want to contact him. I know I shouldn't.
Does anyone have any advice, insight, experience, or opinions? Please share with me.
TLDR: We broke up due to incompatibilities with current level of maturity. Will he come back? How to let go of what felt like such a special relationship?

my girlfriend is currently dealing with significant family stress while in Lebenon, particularly with her sister and cousin, whom she describes as toxic. They constantly get on her nerves, and yes, they are indeed very toxic. Recently, her sister was extremely stressed to the point of vomiting, and my girlfriend expressed her frustration about this, questioning the legitimacy of her sister's stress by asking, "Why is she stressed? Like... about what?" in a tone that seemed condescending and dismissive of her sister's feelings.
I tried to be supportive by stating, "Her feelings of stress are valid, and your feelings are also valid." This led to my girlfriend dismissing my comment as pointless and arguing that some feelings are not valid and are wrong. She felt that my suggestion to validate her sister's feelings was dismissive of her own feelings. I explained that understanding her sister's feelings might help her not to be overwhelmed by them, which she took as condescending. She kept pointing out why some feelings are wrong and the idea that "all feelings are valid" is a nonsensical one.
I apologized if my approach made things worse, but she claimed I was being condescending. I said i was only trying to help, and that we should move on, but she seemed visibally upset. She was upset from the onset, really. I said that my approach clearly didn't land well, and that I can see why. I let her know that her feelings of being angry with her family were valid, that I would be too, to which she said I don't need permession to feel angry, I know this".
The conversation escalated, and she became increasingly upset. Eventually, there was a pause because someone walked in, so there was a break for about a minute. She then, gently asked me, Why are you mad? while smiling. I told her that i felt like she was being argumentative and trying to debate me and argue with me while i was just trying to help.
This made her really mad, then, holding back tears, and abruptly, she said she couldn't continue the conversation, ending it by saying she couldn't argue with another person and hanging up. I messaged her afterward, saying she could reach out when ready and to take her time. Now, I’m starting to forget the details and am confused about whether I was in the wrong for trying to persuade her that validating feelings is important. I also feel she owes me an apology, but I doubt she sees it that way, plus, I believe no never expect thing from anyone so.... How should I handle this situation moving forward? Any tips on improving communication to prevent such misunderstandings? What actions should I take if she doesn’t recognize her part in the argument or doesn’t apologize? Thank you for your help.

Hello,
I was recently working as a casual on a cotton farm (though they also had other crops and livestock as well but I was working with the cotton). I believe that the conditions may not have been all above board but just want confirmation on that.
For example, we were expected to work 13 hour days and not allowed a lunch break/any break at all. When we enquired about this they stated that we could just eat while we worked on the machines (I guess technically possible but always a rush shoving a sandwich in my mouth while really needing two hands to do my job. And no downtime at all on such a long shift was bad for my mental health).
We also worked the Labour Day public holiday last Monday and weren’t paid any penalty rates for it.
I’ve contacted the boss to ask for the award and they responded “there is no award”, with zero expansion on that. Does anyone know what my entitlements should have been? I think this all seems dodgy but I don’t know for sure.
Thanks

I... dont really know where to begin, so I'll start with background. I've had flings in the past, but my first long time relationship. We live in california
Tldr: I recieved a phone call after having just seen her the previous day asking to talk, essentially during this reasons boiled down to
"Everything, the long distance, and (i, 29m) dont have initiative" "(i've, 29m) been talking about becoming an electrician, but havent done anything about it"
Back story.
I (29m) have supported my partner (29f) in their passion for Renaissance Faire for the entire time we had been together. She treats this as her livlihood. Has been clear about this, but I had no qualms. Her income is padded from her father at 1000$ a month, a vestige of an agreement to earn a degree (which she still has not, and has not been in school since before we were together)
I have voiced wishing to become an electrician, i love working with my hands, and circuitry is enthralling. I have known people in the field, who have helped me get interviews and attempt entry level positions but each time have been told, the slot was filled before onboarding trully happened for me. Student loans kinda terrify me cause of debt, the trade schools i've found in cali be expensive. Most of my savings before hand went to assisting my grandma with issues that were taken care of.
We both talked about how neither of us was fully in the career we wanted, and how we wanted to see the other grow into it.
When we got together, @24 years old, i was an assistant manager in a deli, after multiple instances of being passed for applied promotions and training those who recieved those promotions.... I had enough.
I got a job at a Hyatt Hotels, becoming a front end (lobby) manager. Hyatt at the time had excellent student programs and loan rates, which fizzled when the location franchised, and we lost a majority of benefits. Found a new job
I've been at a shipping company that works out of a single location for a tech company, Juniper networks. Have DOT driving certs, and multiple forklift certs. Mon-fri 9-5, making good money (close to 30/hr) feel ALOT more comfortable with loans now. Have time for things. The last barely two years, my annual was literally a week ago.
The ONLY reason i havent begun said process of loans is the amount i have been trying to support her in her passion and stay connected. But even with that I was beginning to figure out times for school.
She had begun with 1 faire, then two, then some smaller ones. Trying out different Faires at different times. Just this year attempting all of them.
She has progressively added more and more faires, to the point where she we will not be at home .... 9 months? Of this year. 3 months roughly each faire, back to back at times. One faire is out of state, all the rest are driveable easy.
I say roughly as all the faires dates are up for debate, between the build, run, and teardown, there is variance of up to several weeks. Making planning outside of Faire difficult. I find out these dates through her, but with very little time in between to plan anything
I visit during the close faires, Casa de fruta Northern Ren faire, every weekend. During the farther Faires, like LA southern faire, every other weekend. Of my own volition and wish to see her.
Long distance it may be, but the longest actual time we've been apart for these is only a couple weeks at a time. Literally 2.
I text and call, not quite everyday, but no longer than a few (3ish), most of the time with no response. Again no qualms, just different things happening at different times, blind love yaknow?
I purchased essentially her entire camp, carport, cots, portable matress (trifold queen), tents, tables, stove, etc.
I drove her throughout our relationship, not just to and from Faire, literally everything. She has refused to get a drivers license out of fear. I have mobilized her supplies and camp.
We talked frequently, enjoyed shows, board games, we started heading to amusement parks, (she loves rollercoasters), we would go dancing while she was home, build lego display sets, like i could keep on going.
The last couple times shes come home from Faire, things have felt off. Like i have to reconnect with her at home. When i visit has seemed like either shes masking for me, or at faire.
She started getting too tired to do anything in between the Faires, and would refuse my assistance to get ready. Which was basically laundry and maintenance for camp things.
Sometimes these last couple months i would respond with the energy i recieved. Im human. I dont really know what else to say for that. We would talk about it Then things would go back to how they were.... for a time
Ill admit i have resting grumpy face, and on occaision am grumpy. But I never took it out on her. We had arguments, but never anything that lasted or made us truly angry. Sometimes i would say i need some alone time, just to cool off. But that never lasted for more than an hour or two.
When we began dating, she asked me bring my tone down a bit. Kinda made me realize unintended inflections.
Again these last couple months, she hasnt been rude, nor abusive... just sharp... to the point i feel like i have to apologize for ideas or actions. I brought this up, and things got better.... for a bit
I have dropped the ball on occaision with cleaning around the house, and she brought it up when they happened, but it honestly went both ways.
She ruled over laundry, i ruled over dishes, we'd help each other wipe down surfaces and vacuum. We have cats, and took turns cleaning litter.
We'd helped each other cook, but unless I laid very clear intentions i wanted to cook for her, she'd take over. She preferred cooking, saying "ocd"
Her love languages is much more touch oriented than mime are.
I have never claimed to be fast at anything. In fact literally have compared myself to the Tortoise, from tortoise and the hare. And feel very judged on it all of a sudden.
Looking back... maybe I could have initiated more... but as i began to do so more and more this last year together, i was met with more and more, "tired" or "faire".
I just... feel like a wrung out rag..... and ... i dont know... Used?
She mentioned it not being fair to either of us... just making me wonder if this might actually be better off...
Doesnt feel like it now.

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So back story here and it’s LONG.. buckle in.. We purchased a home in rural Ontario, in a small hamlet with about <100 people. A majority of our neighbours are Mennonite- specifically to the right and left of us. There is a new subdivision right near us, and expansion is bringing a lot of people from all walks of life. So I wouldn’t say we moved into “Mennonite” territory.
We purchased the house in June - and upon closing our left side Mennonite neighbour had put up a 9ft fence on closing day, a couple inches from the property line - and did not inform us he was planning such. It obscures our backyard access from our left, but again it was a surprise on closing. Ok, we moved in and got over the Fort Knox wall, and decided to just leave it be and not make waves as new owners. He said he wanted his privacy, our driveway is shared, we understand that the homes are very close together.
Then this same neighbour informed us he had bought the small parcel of land behind us, and that he would be doing whatever he wanted with said land. A parcel that creates an L shape around our property. We were upset, and asked him if we could buy the land off him, he refused and stated a ridiculous price tag it was thrice what that dirt patch is worth, but he knows that. So we conceded and decided to let it go.
We noticed that there were some more items on the list that were a bit shady of our left neighbours, including a barn shed that was built too close to the property line for its size, and for our lot sizes. Think 20x25 by 17ft tall. Massive. Not code. Likely not permitted. I mentioned this to him in passing - he threatened if I called bylaw on his barn that he’s a Mexican Mennonite… whatever the hell that means.
Fast forward to another month, left neighbour planted corn in behind our backyard. It was nice to look at, I was pleasantly surprised that’s what he was doing w the parcel so we just went about life…until…a smell. Sitting outside in my yard I suddenly felt I was transplanted into a cattle farm. I couldn’t figure why my house was COATED in flies. So I decided to take a stroll around the corn he had planted and found 3 calves. In 1/8th of an acre/parcel of land. Directly down wind was our home and worst of all, our drinking well and the property is on a slope. I was furious. I immediately approached him and told him to remove his cattle - that it’s not allowed in a residential setting, and he told me, that it’s zoned agricultural, and he will remove them “when it’s convenient for him.” I was not impressed by his behaviour, he basically brushed me off as if it was his land and too effing bad for me. So I waited. And waited. 2 months passed by and my backyard was officially unbearable of smell. I called bylaw. They instructed him to remove cattle immediately, and he did within 7 days. Now he knows it was me, as the right neighbour (also Mennonite) to the other side of us is close with him.
This lovely Mennonite sandwich we have here - was also partaking in cattle maintenance and also didn’t inform us, but there were multiple occasions honest conversation could have happened. During bylaws visit - left neighbour was told to get rid of his chickens, which he did and then brought back. Here’s where right neighbour comes into play. They also have illegal chickens, and use our back yard as an egg freeway to trade and swap things for chickens, eggs, whatever. This happens all day. At various times. No problem even when we’re privately in our hot tub or sitting by our fire. ZERO CARE for our privacy. Front yard is just as open - but they would rather use backyard where they’re bothering us.
So… I called bylaw again. And put a stop to chicken egg freeway. What do you think? Am I the only one who would handle this situation this way? Aitah?!

In 1945, the United States underwent Operation Paperclip which gave over 1,600 German scientists, engineers and technicians sanctuary and absolution of their crimes in exchange for the continuation of their research.
In 1953 those same individuals came up with and executed MK Ultra, an illegal human experiment that used its citizens (targeting schools, hospitals and prisons) as test subjects.
In 1954 the Plum Island was turned into a research center for diseases.
In 1975 the first documented case of Lyme disease occurred. Rumored to have escaped Plum Island.
In 2005 the DHS announced that all the work done at Plum Island would be continued in Kansas. Not just the center of the continental United States, but also home to crops seen in grocery stores all over the country.
The following is a true story.
Getting into work, one of the first things I do is check my mail. I’ve been a reporter for years and have amassed fans who like to write in and give me leads. Most of the time these leads don't amount to much (Sometimes I wonder if people send me things because of my apophenia and they are trying to get me off their scent), but every once in a while I strike gold.
I had been working at Whisper Alley Echos for a few months by the time I got my first lead. The package I got was small and when I opened it I saw a DVD that had the words “play me” written in black marker on it. Not knowing what was on it, I waited until I got home to put it on. Not just because I didnt know what was on it, but I was also busy working on a different project about how everyone in a nearby town just went missing. The official story is that they all went on vacation or went to visit a relative and decided to stay. I dont know about you, but I found that suspicious.
After getting home and shifting gears to get into the movie mood (popcorn, blinds pulled, etc…) I popped the DVD in and began watching.
There were dozens of different videos to pick from, some ranging from a minute to half an hour. Instead of picking one at random, I just played them in order. After all, all their titles were dates and times and I didnt want to miss anything that might make sense later.
The first video featured a tardigrade, at the time I didnt know what it was, but the scientist doing the voice over described it as being a microscopic animal as well as being extremely resilient. This went on for several minutes and for a moment it felt as though I was watching a nature documentary instead of something given to me by a government whistleblower.
The next few videos featured footage of the tardigrades being given something called “BB-F828” and the changes it caused.
The voiceover talked about how a tardigrade (this time he called them water bears and the two terms were interchangeable from this point on) was showing signs of several thousand generations of evolution in only a few days. Even though I know nothing about science, I could see that the thing on the television was not the same animal that was shown in the first video.
While they were never “cute”, at least they never looked like predators, but after a few videos I saw that the tardigrades were covered in what appeared to be padding. In a later video this padding would change into being chitin-like armor.
The last video was filmed two months after the water bears were given BB-F828 and in it the scientists could see them even without a microscope.
The next morning I went into work and started writing on my computer, copying notes from my small notebook. However by the time I started the second draft, Andrea, the office secretary, dropped a letter off at my desk.
It was the first time I got a letter about an “inside scoop” two days in a row.
The letter said that they were the ones who sent the DVD and if I wanted to know more I would have to go to The Rats Skeleton (a bar that used to be a speakeasy during prohibition. Because of this the place feels as though its a front for a comic book villain. The owners have leaned into this and did everything they could to reinforce this feeling with sparse lighting and everything that isn't red velvet on the walls being painted black) at a specific time.
Usually I wouldn't go meet strangers after getting an anonymous letter that tells me to come alone, but its a small town and I didn't have much going on that particular Thursday.
Parking behind the Merc (short for mercantile, where most of the grocery and general shopping is done in town), I descended the stairs and made my way to the back of the bar. There I found a woman that didnt look like she slept in days. Since no one else was in that back area I figured she must have been the person I was there to see.
“Hey, I’m Daniel West. Am I—”
“Sit” the woman said, motioning across from her. I sat down and asked her for her name but she didn’t want to answer me and when i asked for it a second time she claimed it was Jane, but there is no doubt that was not her real name.
“What made you reach out, Jane?”
“You saw the video?”
I nodded. “Yup.”
“And?”
“I have a lot of questions” I answered.
“Figured you would” Jane said. “Ask.”
“Well, first” I said, my journalistic inexperience showing as I went through my pocket notebook. “Who are you and why do you know all this?”
“Name isnt important” Jane answered. “Let me start from the beginning. We thought we were working on human survivability” Jane answered. “I thought that I was working for some company that had a government contract. That might be true, it might not be. Either way lots of money and resources have been put into this.”
“I saw the video” I answered. “What exactly was it that I was watching?”
Janes eyes were frantic as she looked at the stairs behind me. When I turned around to see what she was looking at I saw a local descending the steps and approach the bar. She only answered my question when she was convinced that the man wasn't eavesdropping, still, she spoke in whispers.
“We were working on human survivability.”
“You said that. What does that mean?”
“Exactly what it sounds like. Consider we civilize mars and the long term effects from the static radiation there. Or another planet that demands thicker bones because of increased gravity? Evolution might give us those things eventually but what if we need it now? In this generation?”
“So you made super humans?”
Jane was annoyed and slapped the table. No one was around to hear or see her but I still looked around anyways.
“We didn’t work on humans. We piggybacked off of some other countries' genetic research and made some breakthroughs of our own. When—-“
“Other countries?” I interrupted instead of letting her talk.
“Yeah” Jane said with a shrug. “Some countries aren’t tied down by the same code of ethics as ours.”
“That’s why you got a hold of me? To tell—-“
“We were working on small parts. At first individual genes, building from that success we went on to more complex organisms. Eventually, hopefully, test on humans.”
“But you never made it that far?”
“No” Jane said, taking a sip from her glass. “We tested BB-F828 on other things, building up towards human testing.”
“Okay, like what?”
Jane inhaled through her nose and looked at me as though she wasnt sure if I could be trusted. Then she sighed when she realized it was too late not to trust me, she had already went too far to turn back. “What do you think has the best chance of not only surviving a planet wide disaster, but also thrive in it?”
“Cockroaches” I answered.
Jane nodded. “Sure. Lots of people would agree with you, however that wouldn't be the best pick.”
“Oh? Then what would be?”
“Rats.”
I laughed.
“They are tough and can thrive anywhere. Even before BB-F828 they are smarter than roaches, plus rats have a complicated social hierarchy, similar to humans. Remember, I didn't just say survive. I said thrive.”
“So you tested all this on rats?”
Jane nodded. “We did.”
I waited for Jane to continue, but thanks to her staring off into space due to lack of sleep, she waited longer.
“What happened?”
Janes eyes drifted back at me, she was running on fumes. “Huh? Oh, yeah. Rats, right?” she asked while pulling a folder out from the seat next to her. She set it on the table and slid it over to me. “Here, take a peek.”
I opened it, expecting redacted pages of ‘evidence’ and while I got some of that, it was the photos that drew my attention the most. At first the photos were individual rats and a designated number they received instead of a name.
“How many rats did you experiment—” I started, but my voice trailed off when I came across a photo of the one rat with unique markings on its back now appearing to be bred for a war on pleasant dreams. Its eyes were pearly gray, teeth became tusks, its whiskers were thick and barbed. According to the scale it was on when the second photo was taken it weighed twenty nine point four kilos.
“A few hundred?” Jane answered, though it was obvious that it was just a guess. “They were paired off and put in different environments to see how they adapt.”
“Why would you pair them off?”
“I think it was to see if some would branch out and become their own species” Jane answered as she checked her watch. Seeing the time she sped up. “See, when something with BB-F828 finds itself in a desert, it might adapt to the point that it grows a hump like a camel. Or grow gills if they are in the ocean. The original purpose was for human survivability on other planets. We thought if we could discover how the adaptations work, and it could be repeated exactly the same over and over again, we could do something for humans. After all you wouldn't want anything unexpected to happen when you're in the middle of growing another set of arms or a dorsal fin, right?”Jane said. “But to do this we needed lots of subjects and all in their own environments. Each one had their own surprises, after all, evolution is random. Favors some things over others. One species can branch out to be dozens or hundreds. Thousands with enough time and environmental factors. When the tardigrades started displaying more predatory behavior we thought it was due to the change in diet and the increase in protein, but now we think its due to the rapid change. It drives them insane. All of this was surprising, but none as surprising as the ‘dirt rats’.”
“Wait. They are all insane? Also, dirt rats?” I asked, flipping the photo over to show the next one. This one revealed what I thought was a bear, but when I was about to flip it over to look at the next one I noticed its teeth. Thats when I noticed that it was a huge, muscular rat.
“Six breeding pairs, all kept in an empty pool full of dirt. They weren't given enough room to get out of the dirt, so they had to adapt to living in it. Anyways, because they are in the dirt its harder to keep track of what they are doing. Because of that, by the time we discovered that they had burrowed their way out of the facility it was too late. They were gone.”
“Gone? What do you mean?”
“Escaped,” Jane whispered. “And they are growing.”
“Growing?”
“Last I heard, they were nearly sixty feet but we honestly don't know. It's not like we can compare them to anything else.”
“Sixty feet?” I laughed. “Someone would have saw them by—”
“Underground” Jane said with a shake of her head. “They are underground. I know it's hard to believe, but how else can you explain those earthquakes in Chicago? New York?”
“Are you saying there are giant rats under those cities?”
“I am saying they aren't rats anymore. They are something else entirely. I am saying six breeding pairs might not sound like a lot, but rats reproduce so quickly it's terrifying. I am saying that they are so big and there are so many of them that they are causing those earthquakes. I am saying that due to their size they burn off lots of calories and some have evolved to hibernating.”
“Why hibernation?”
“No idea, but when they wake up they are going to be very hungry. Ravenous.”
“Any idea when that might be?” I asked.
Jane shrugged. “Some already have. We just covered it up.”
It might have been my apophenia talking, but with that statement I started seeing the bigger picture and asked Jane about the town that went missing (The story I was working on before her DVD reached me). Jane gave me the politician's answer, saying something without actually saying something, and that was enough to confirm that I was indeed on the right track.
Unfortunately Jane and I did not speak for much longer, she got a call that freaked her out and she took off. Before she left she took the folder and the pictures I was still going through. I haven't seen or heard from her since and have dropped the story about the disappearances that have secretly been plaguing our country.
WAE

In 1945, the United States underwent Operation Paperclip which gave over 1,600 German scientists, engineers and technicians sanctuary and absolution of their crimes in exchange for the continuation of their research.
In 1953 those same individuals came up with and executed MK Ultra, an illegal human experiment that used its citizens (targeting schools, hospitals and prisons) as test subjects.
In 1954 the Plum Island was turned into a research center for diseases.
In 1975 the first documented case of Lyme disease occurred. Rumored to have escaped Plum Island.
In 2005 the DHS announced that all the work done at Plum Island would be continued in Kansas. Not just the center of the continental United States, but also home to crops seen in grocery stores all over the country.
The following is a true story.
Getting into work, one of the first things I do is check my mail. I’ve been a reporter for years and have amassed fans who like to write in and give me leads. Most of the time these leads don't amount to much (Sometimes I wonder if people send me things because of my apophenia and they are trying to get me off their scent), but every once in a while I strike gold.
I had been working at Whisper Alley Echos for a few months by the time I got my first lead. The package I got was small and when I opened it I saw a DVD that had the words “play me” written in black marker on it. Not knowing what was on it, I waited until I got home to put it on. Not just because I didnt know what was on it, but I was also busy working on a different project about how everyone in a nearby town just went missing. The official story is that they all went on vacation or went to visit a relative and decided to stay. I dont know about you, but I found that suspicious.
After getting home and shifting gears to get into the movie mood (popcorn, blinds pulled, etc…) I popped the DVD in and began watching.
There were dozens of different videos to pick from, some ranging from a minute to half an hour. Instead of picking one at random, I just played them in order. After all, all their titles were dates and times and I didnt want to miss anything that might make sense later.
The first video featured a tardigrade, at the time I didnt know what it was, but the scientist doing the voice over described it as being a microscopic animal as well as being extremely resilient. This went on for several minutes and for a moment it felt as though I was watching a nature documentary instead of something given to me by a government whistleblower.
The next few videos featured footage of the tardigrades being given something called “BB-F828” and the changes it caused.
The voiceover talked about how a tardigrade (this time he called them water bears and the two terms were interchangeable from this point on) was showing signs of several thousand generations of evolution in only a few days. Even though I know nothing about science, I could see that the thing on the television was not the same animal that was shown in the first video.
While they were never “cute”, at least they never looked like predators, but after a few videos I saw that the tardigrades were covered in what appeared to be padding. In a later video this padding would change into being chitin-like armor.
The last video was filmed two months after the water bears were given BB-F828 and in it the scientists could see them even without a microscope.
The next morning I went into work and started writing on my computer, copying notes from my small notebook. However by the time I started the second draft, Andrea, the office secretary, dropped a letter off at my desk.
It was the first time I got a letter about an “inside scoop” two days in a row.
The letter said that they were the ones who sent the DVD and if I wanted to know more I would have to go to The Rats Skeleton (a bar that used to be a speakeasy during prohibition. Because of this the place feels as though its a front for a comic book villain. The owners have leaned into this and did everything they could to reinforce this feeling with sparse lighting and everything that isn't red velvet on the walls being painted black) at a specific time.
Usually I wouldn't go meet strangers after getting an anonymous letter that tells me to come alone, but its a small town and I didn't have much going on that particular Thursday.
Parking behind the Merc (short for mercantile, where most of the grocery and general shopping is done in town), I descended the stairs and made my way to the back of the bar. There I found a woman that didnt look like she slept in days. Since no one else was in that back area I figured she must have been the person I was there to see.
“Hey, I’m Daniel West. Am I—”
“Sit” the woman said, motioning across from her. I sat down and asked her for her name but she didn’t want to answer me and when i asked for it a second time she claimed it was Jane, but there is no doubt that was not her real name.
“What made you reach out, Jane?”
“You saw the video?”
I nodded. “Yup.”
“And?”
“I have a lot of questions” I answered.
“Figured you would” Jane said. “Ask.”
“Well, first” I said, my journalistic inexperience showing as I went through my pocket notebook. “Who are you and why do you know all this?”
“Name isnt important” Jane answered. “Let me start from the beginning. We thought we were working on human survivability” Jane answered. “I thought that I was working for some company that had a government contract. That might be true, it might not be. Either way lots of money and resources have been put into this.”
“I saw the video” I answered. “What exactly was it that I was watching?”
Janes eyes were frantic as she looked at the stairs behind me. When I turned around to see what she was looking at I saw a local descending the steps and approach the bar. She only answered my question when she was convinced that the man wasn't eavesdropping, still, she spoke in whispers.
“We were working on human survivability.”
“You said that. What does that mean?”
“Exactly what it sounds like. Consider we civilize mars and the long term effects from the static radiation there. Or another planet that demands thicker bones because of increased gravity? Evolution might give us those things eventually but what if we need it now? In this generation?”
“So you made super humans?”
Jane was annoyed and slapped the table. No one was around to hear or see her but I still looked around anyways.
“We didn’t work on humans. We piggybacked off of some other countries' genetic research and made some breakthroughs of our own. When—-“
“Other countries?” I interrupted instead of letting her talk.
“Yeah” Jane said with a shrug. “Some countries aren’t tied down by the same code of ethics as ours.”
“That’s why you got a hold of me? To tell—-“
“We were working on small parts. At first individual genes, building from that success we went on to more complex organisms. Eventually, hopefully, test on humans.”
“But you never made it that far?”
“No” Jane said, taking a sip from her glass. “We tested BB-F828 on other things, building up towards human testing.”
“Okay, like what?”
Jane inhaled through her nose and looked at me as though she wasnt sure if I could be trusted. Then she sighed when she realized it was too late not to trust me, she had already went too far to turn back. “What do you think has the best chance of not only surviving a planet wide disaster, but also thrive in it?”
“Cockroaches” I answered.
Jane nodded. “Sure. Lots of people would agree with you, however that wouldn't be the best pick.”
“Oh? Then what would be?”
“Rats.”
I laughed.
“They are tough and can thrive anywhere. Even before BB-F828 they are smarter than roaches, plus rats have a complicated social hierarchy, similar to humans. Remember, I didn't just say survive. I said thrive.”
“So you tested all this on rats?”
Jane nodded. “We did.”
I waited for Jane to continue, but thanks to her staring off into space due to lack of sleep, she waited longer.
“What happened?”
Janes eyes drifted back at me, she was running on fumes. “Huh? Oh, yeah. Rats, right?” she asked while pulling a folder out from the seat next to her. She set it on the table and slid it over to me. “Here, take a peek.”
I opened it, expecting redacted pages of ‘evidence’ and while I got some of that, it was the photos that drew my attention the most. At first the photos were individual rats and a designated number they received instead of a name.
“How many rats did you experiment—” I started, but my voice trailed off when I came across a photo of the one rat with unique markings on its back now appearing to be bred for a war on pleasant dreams. Its eyes were pearly gray, teeth became tusks, its whiskers were thick and barbed. According to the scale it was on when the second photo was taken it weighed twenty nine point four kilos.
“A few hundred?” Jane answered, though it was obvious that it was just a guess. “They were paired off and put in different environments to see how they adapt.”
“Why would you pair them off?”
“I think it was to see if some would branch out and become their own species” Jane answered as she checked her watch. Seeing the time she sped up. “See, when something with BB-F828 finds itself in a desert, it might adapt to the point that it grows a hump like a camel. Or grow gills if they are in the ocean. The original purpose was for human survivability on other planets. We thought if we could discover how the adaptations work, and it could be repeated exactly the same over and over again, we could do something for humans. After all you wouldn't want anything unexpected to happen when you're in the middle of growing another set of arms or a dorsal fin, right?”Jane said. “But to do this we needed lots of subjects and all in their own environments. Each one had their own surprises, after all, evolution is random. Favors some things over others. One species can branch out to be dozens or hundreds. Thousands with enough time and environmental factors. When the tardigrades started displaying more predatory behavior we thought it was due to the change in diet and the increase in protein, but now we think its due to the rapid change. It drives them insane. All of this was surprising, but none as surprising as the ‘dirt rats’.”
“Wait. They are all insane? Also, dirt rats?” I asked, flipping the photo over to show the next one. This one revealed what I thought was a bear, but when I was about to flip it over to look at the next one I noticed its teeth. Thats when I noticed that it was a huge, muscular rat.
“Six breeding pairs, all kept in an empty pool full of dirt. They weren't given enough room to get out of the dirt, so they had to adapt to living in it. Anyways, because they are in the dirt its harder to keep track of what they are doing. Because of that, by the time we discovered that they had burrowed their way out of the facility it was too late. They were gone.”
“Gone? What do you mean?”
“Escaped,” Jane whispered. “And they are growing.”
“Growing?”
“Last I heard, they were nearly sixty feet but we honestly don't know. It's not like we can compare them to anything else.”
“Sixty feet?” I laughed. “Someone would have saw them by—”
“Underground” Jane said with a shake of her head. “They are underground. I know it's hard to believe, but how else can you explain those earthquakes in Chicago? New York?”
“Are you saying there are giant rats under those cities?”
“I am saying they aren't rats anymore. They are something else entirely. I am saying six breeding pairs might not sound like a lot, but rats reproduce so quickly it's terrifying. I am saying that they are so big and there are so many of them that they are causing those earthquakes. I am saying that due to their size they burn off lots of calories and some have evolved to hibernating.”
“Why hibernation?”
“No idea, but when they wake up they are going to be very hungry. Ravenous.”
“Any idea when that might be?” I asked.
Jane shrugged. “Some already have. We just covered it up.”
It might have been my apophenia talking, but with that statement I started seeing the bigger picture and asked Jane about the town that went missing (The story I was working on before her DVD reached me). Jane gave me the politician's answer, saying something without actually saying something, and that was enough to confirm that I was indeed on the right track.
Unfortunately Jane and I did not speak for much longer, she got a call that freaked her out and she took off. Before she left she took the folder and the pictures I was still going through. I haven't seen or heard from her since and have dropped the story about the disappearances that have secretly been plaguing our country.
WAE