How to log on facebook at school

Hello Everyone,
So i have just been hacked. I am online since 1998 and this is first time it happened to me. I need advise from experienced people. I lost my Netfix account which i recovered but i couldn't recover my Facebook yet. Yes i am old and my facebook groups are my scrolling content to kill time on smoke breaks etc. Life feels empty without cringey facebook content.
Attempts of entering my e-mail is not stopping. I have just set up 2FA. I am thinking that will stop all attempts?
I am trying to find who is doing this because i am suspicous of the IT guy of the company i am working. He is the prime suspect. He warned me about not logging to chrome with my personal account. He said an IT guy who doesn't like you can steal everything. I said who cares who will attempt that. He said it is so easy to do i can do it easily.
That IT guy and i had an argument. It hurt him quite a lot. He almost started a fight i didn't respond and i used that chance to tell HR all the shit he was doing. The company i got hired is opening a tourism agency on the side and that guy was claiming he knows tourism and he was bossing us and telling us what to do how to work and everything. He doesn't know shit. We are 2 people working to open the agency and he got the other guy fired after that guy shooed him. He showed HR his PC logs and that he surfs during company time. We are idle by the way we don't got any work to do. Other guy was a manager at medium departments of medium agencies and i worked as a regular guy at top departments of top agencies. Anyway i can tell a lot it is both hilarious and sad at the time. He was saying things like you need to press that button to open the pc or you can use right side of the keyboard to write numbers. He once told me 'you look like you got used to typing on the keyboard'. MF like wtf? I am 36 i am typing without looking since i am 15. This is not my first time seeing a pc. Damn i got triggered again.
So the first monday after that falling out when i opened my work pc CMD is opening for a second then closing again. 1 month after that i got hacked. They didn't tried to steal anything they just tried to hurt me. They got my facebook banned by linking that FB to an instagram account that is against the rules etc. It is think like that.
Me and everyone hearing this story is almost sure that guy did it. How can i uncover this? The guy he got fired was a newly wed less then 3 months. He got him fired cause he realized he won't be able to boss him around. Me on the other hand let him belittle me and showed patience because my life is fucked up and i have to create stability instead of keeping on jumping from company to company.
Please help me.

I turned 30 recently and like a lot of people it's been a weird one for me. I've felt some angst, anxiety over such a big milestone and been very reflective on my life so far. I decided to load up Runescape and as soon as the login music hit, it felt like I was having an out of body experience, I entered into a trance where it felt like 20+ years of RuneScape associated memories and feelings came flooding back to me.
For a brief second I felt that feeling of wonder and curiosity just like when I first started playing the game as a 9/10 year old in 2004. Me and my friends all became hooked to this larger than life games. I remember the memories of wandering around Lumbridge or Varrock taking in every interaction or NPC. We would all discuss the game on the school playground and we would recall stories of dragons and demons lurking around in the wildy. Ways to make the oh so elusive gold coin. Going to a friend's house and see their older siblings who had full rune traversing unknown lands like Karijma and looking up to them as role models as were only pesky level 20s. Flooded with memories of playing the game organically, killing 3000 cows for 3k cowhides and selling them in Al-Kharid bank for 100 gp to any of the dozens of people stuffed into each bank on each world. All so I could finally afford a rune scimitar. I would occasionally stop off at the Al-Kharis scimitar or plateleg shop to window shop. Checking sal's realms calculators in-between cow's to determine how many I needed to kill for x attack lvl.
As many of my friends stopped playing into high school, my passion for the game became stronger. I became absorbed in the RuneScape world and often used it as an escape or a crutch. The feelings of warmth and comfort the game provided me when I had a crappy day at school or at home or just being a hormonal teenager. I had friends on the game who I would talk to about life and growing up for 6+ hours a day, they knew more about my life than my IRL companions. The feeling of joy on a Saturday morning when you saw your best friend log on for a day of fishing lobsters in Karijma or cutting yews in Seers together as you both chased a 99. I'll never forget the conversations and friendships I made. I have specific memories etched in my head from 15+ years ago that make me smile like farming hellhounds for clues with my friends or meeting new friends while skill training.
I feel like a lot of people who still play this game are probably at a similar age to me and have a similar story. It's amazing how Runescape has touched so many people across the world of all different backgrounds. I lost constant with my final RuneScape friend who I knew since 2008 last year and I find myself scrolling down my friends list wondering what happened to the others. I don't get the same joy or rush of excitement when I log onto RuneScape nowadays, nor have I for the past 10 years but I still find myself coming back for stints of years or months or even weeks. I feel sad when I look back on how populated the game felt, you would always encounter a fellow player on your travels or at the local bank. Now, it feels soulless a lot of the time. I have little interaction and often play alone or feel isolated. .
I haven't played this game as consistently as I used to but I think I will now. Something about being flooded with all of those emotions and memories has made me realise what an importance Runescape has in my life. Besides my parents, it might have been the most stable constant in my life.. I've spent 20 years walking down the same paths in Varrock, killing the same monsters and grinding the same skills. It might be bizarre to someone else but to me it's completely normal

This story starts with me being unemployed and having about $6-7,000 in savings while living with my parents, to getting employed, earning more than I ever had before, and yet being almost never so broke. Him requesting money is done through SMS unless otherwise stated. I don't think I'll be putting a TLDR in, it's sort of a lot regardless.
Why am I telling you this story? There's a strange phenomenon that concealing guilt or shame, or something, isn't good for you. That isn't necessarily what I'm feeling, I am only trying to move on as expediently as I can think of ways to do so. Rather than have my inner circle in the know, as I have had before, I have decided to post into the void.
*Not every transaction is detailed, some are recurring with the most noteworthy ones being bolded in chapter form. There are 82 transactions and this is sort of a long story, so I cut some fluff out by excluding a lot of them. *Note, for all the amounts borrowed and offered to pay back eventually, I repeatedly told them not to worry about it and that I didn't consider them my debtors, this is true to the end of the story, and I will not be seeking financial remuneration. After 4 months of working with nothing to show for it I am simply going to just enjoy knowing that I now get to keep the money I make.
The beginning:
It all started with picking up a tall young man walking by the side of the road in QLD (where I live). The man had been walking for hours in broad daylight and was all sweaty, trying to get to the nearest large rural town some 40 minutes away from where I live, which is also where I was going. We do the usual thing and try to make small talk to break the ice, sharing some personal information like if either of us is studying or working our age difference (which isn't that much, me being slightly older). he told me he was walking to see a mate in town about his car, if his friend had repaired it yet. Because he wasn't sure whether it would be fixed, we made an arrangement that I would also pick him up on my way out of town back home.
So, I do, and we do more small talk to the point of having an actual conversation, he also tells me he has a 2-year-old daughter. This is a significant detail because it is what drives a lot of the sympathy I had for his situation. There is also one thing about that conversation that stands out to me, and that was the impression that this guy was not very good with money because he said he frequently wants to buy something and then wants something else so he sells the first thing he bought to pay for the second, sort of like he couldn't help it or something. I couldn't relate. On the way home together I point out where my place was and drove past to drop him off at his. It was at this point or when I dropped him off in town that I gave him my phone number and said to text me if he needed a ride sometime.
Some days later he texts me asking me to lend him $50 for fuel because his place has no power (I would later learn that his property is not hooked up to the electrical grid and his family uses a generator for power). He wanted me to send it to his PayID number, which is something I had never used before. The next day he and his missus want a ride into town and back to check out a bus(?), he also wanted to borrow $100 which he said he would pay back in a couple of weeks. Before I left town, I got a call from a place I had sent my resume in to and they offered to start me on their employment process, to which I agreed. Yay! They stay in town overnight and made it to a pub, he called me later asking for something like $180+ for drinks and asked me to pick them up the next day, thanked me for funding their (apparently very fun) night out and informed me that the bus is very nice and will be getting delivered to their property in a few days (neither of them had the appropriate license to drive the bus, his father did except he did not come with us and I never met the man). He also asks for $200 to pay off a debt to his brother-in-law, would also pay that back to me as $300 in two weeks.
The next day, near dusk, he asks me for a lift into town to do some grocery shopping at a servo. I show up at his place and his mother wants to tag along, and she has an empty jerry can for fuel to use in the generator. So away we went, for a 90+ minute drive for the third day in a row, except near dark this time. I was beginning to get a little tired of the lack of forward thinking (why didn't you go shopping before I had to pick you up from town yesterday?), but there is so much more to come... I also gave him another $300 that night for some reason and $50 the next day to renew his Spotify subscription.
Two days later he asks me how much I'm actually willing to lend him, I said $500 but pleaded that he has to make it last a while, he agreed. He also informed me that he would now have to pay for the transportation of the bus to the property, and two days later told me that he was $300 short ($800) total to bring it 80kms. That's borrowing nearly $1,000 in two days, he also said this would be the last time he'd borrow.
It's at this point that he asks me what total he owes me, I was getting back to work at the time and told him to check his bank transactions, but I definitely took this as a sign of goodwill that he was keeping track to reimburse me even though I was telling him that he owes me nothing.
The worker's compensation claim:
A couple of days later he asks me for $170 to take his missus out for the night, winds up at the Gold Coast needing $500 for accommodation because he "didn't think things through". Good news is that his missus' car is now registered so I won't have to give them rides anymore, and more good news is that he's getting worker's comp in two weeks to the tune of $3,000 for his hand getting crushed on his last job (he stated this had left him unable to bend 2 or more fingers), he lastly states this money could pay back the $1,650 he owes me (his calculation). Next day $200 for fuel home, then $500, and he asks me to deny him any further transfer. He sends me a picture of the bus, a 1979 Albion Viking. I couldn't find the picture he sent me on Google, so I guess there really was a bus and I really did pay for the pricey transportation of a 55-year-old vehicle that had depreciated to nothing. He said he would send pics when he cleans up the inside, but they never came.
The very next day, he claims my very final $500 transfer did not go through (this may have actually been the case because I transferred the money between accounts for a faster transfer and then to him in less than a minute, so I suppose I just did it too fast or he was lying, but it was definitely gone from the account), to which I said give it a few days. Every day for the next 3 days he would tell me it still hasn't come through.
The nephew:
On day 4 of the final transfer, he stopped telling me it hadn't come through, however he stated that his missus had a nephew (14-15) who was going through some things and was about to be kicked out of his home, needed $200 for fuel to pick him up and bring him back to their place. Okay, well if I can prevent a minor (14-15) from being on the streets by lending a little more, so be it. I went over to physically hand him the money for fuel and he informed me in more detail what was going on, and it sounded believable. A couple days later and he's asking $150 for fuel to return the nephew to his parents, and his missus is requesting $200-$300 for accommodation to stay for a few days to resolve the situation. They stay a few more days down there for a total of about $1,410, spent on food, rent, and trying to calm the boy down.
He also got an update regarding his worker's comp, said it'd be payed out within 6 weeks for approximately $10k, then he asked me for a loan of $1,000 with an interest rate of 40% so I'd get $1,400 back. I, at this point, questioned why in the world would he need a loan of $1,000 after all I'd given him, and his response is... "car" - I asked him to elaborate further and he said there was a car he could buy down there for himself at that price. I informed him that money was actually getting very tight for me despite working now. He didn't get the car. I was also thinking that I would only have to go without having money while still working just until he got his worker's comp, my hope was that I could save and be content knowing his family would be looked after for a while.
I eventually called the bank to ask them if that final* $500 transfer had actually gone through on their end and they said it had, but to trace the transaction would incur a fee of $20, now knowing this and not really wanting to pay it I decided I would triple check if, after all these days, he had gotten that final* transaction: "Yeah, just came through today bro"
Considering this disregard for my time and neglecting to keep me updated on things to be just a quirk of my new friend, not wanting to claim he had been lying, I pressed on in good faith that this could just be water under the bridge.
His missus contacts me and says she needs $290 because she found accommodation for her nephew, and that he had forgot to pack anything including food. Another $100. Then fuel back while the nephew stays at this new place for a week. $70. I had concerns with leaving a minor renting alone so far away and his schooling, but they were met with it was "just for a week" until they could find some place to put him closer to them, their new primary caregivers, that apparently could not be at their house. I was, at this time, under the impression that the nephew was living alone, yet it would later be revealed that he was not.
The tyres:
3 days later after setting the nephew up somewhere close enough to his school, the missus went to visit him and got two tyres slashed, $190 to replace. She goes to the tyre place and is told that all of the tyres need to be replaced otherwise it is not legal, so it's actually $390 for all 4 (I was skeptical about this and was on a work break at the time, still have not looked into the validity of the claim). Some more time passes and general purpose transfers take place. I am informed that the nephew has sorted out an Aus Study payment from Centrelink, but that I would need to transfer $200 for the nephew's necessities until it's actually worked out, and I would no longer need to pay his rent. Cool. At this point in time, I was working but not keeping what I made. I paid board at home, but the rest minus my fuel between work and home is what I refer to as the 'x tax' ('x' being a stand-in for the name of the person who scammed me). The requests would mostly happen around the day I got paid, with a believable frequent expense of fuel for the generator being at least $160 a week, not to mention fuel for their car and the infrequent requests from his mother to "pay back her friends"
Sometime later, the missus got another flat tyre from driving over a piece of metal on the highway, $75 to replace and they managed to get towed to the tyre place (I did inform them that they would have a spare tyre in the back of the car, but they claimed it had already been used "the other day when we had another one slashed"). They got another spare but used that as well.
The funeral:
I get a text at work from the man saying that his grandfather was in palliative care with only one or two weeks left, and that his cousin was requesting he and his mother go down to see him, so he asks me if I can help. I decided I should be setting a weekly limit or something so this new friend doesn't drain my bank account each pay day, so I gave him $100 and let him know that it's a hard limit. 4 days later, he tells me that his grandfather had passed 2 days prior, needed $100 to get down to his funeral. I could only give him $85 and told him I would be unable to fund his return trip, to which he agreed would be fine. 2 days later, after the funeral, he tells me that he and his mother need $200+ to get home, get food & drinks on the way back and that the rest of their family would not help them and that they "have no other way back". Getting tired of the lack of forward thinking in this family's affairs, I reluctantly agreed to save them once again.
5 days later I ask him when he gets his worker's comp payout so I can begin to save up money from work knowing he and his family is taken care of for a while, he tells me "next week hopefully". This was in late March. Queue more travelling and fuel costs to now go and cremate the grandfather as his wishes were for him and his mother to be there when it happens. Now, I thought the funeral had already happened and that was the end of it, but it turns out that was just the funeral service, which is something I was not aware was a thing. Due to this misunderstanding, I was very suspicious at this point and exclaimed in a text "You already had the funeral!" while thinking "you can't bury someone twice, is this evidence you are scamming me?".
They also needed accommodation, except I was so suspicious of this man that I requested he find and tell me the name of the hotel they'll be staying at, just so I can verify that is the actual price per head. Also, his mum blew another tyre, but they happened to be right outside a tyre place... again. He claims to not be having very good luck anyway. A request is made for money to take his missus out for her Birthday. I tell him in a lengthy text I had been working for 2 months with nothing to show for it and that I am much more inclined to assist him only with essential spending like fuel or food, and he claimed to understand that, then stated he would use a bit of the money for a small cheap present anyway. The present turned out to be $200 on layby and he needed another $60 to fully acquire it. I was telling him to tone down his spending to emphasis that he needs to live at or below his own means and that he wouldn't need my help if he had just bought a much cheaper present.
It'd been about 9 weeks since he told me it would take 2 weeks for the worker's comp (which was later changed to 6 weeks) to be paid and I was wondering if he had heard back or followed up. He said he did and that they would "get back to him" about it. So, now that hope I had that this was just a temporary situation wasn't holding up so well. Despite all the money I was giving him he had bills "piling up" and one urgent one was for a storage unit where he claimed to have a shipping container's worth of stuff and the owner was threatening to throw it all out if they didn't pay his 6 weeks overdue fee. Apparently, if he had paid just most of the fee he would get to keep his stuff there, which is what happened.
There was a wedding for his brother-in-law and on the way back he asked me if I could help him buy phone data, except the amount he ended up paying wasn't an option for renewal, it was about $5-$10 off from the options available (this just fueled my suspicion even further that something just wasn't right). Thinking that a scammer wouldn't voluntarily give money back, I tested him by asking him for $40 back when I overpaid him and well, that's where it went to, that mobile plan. When they returned home from the wedding they found that their generator had not been fueled like he reminded his parents to do and so they lost all the food they had in the fridge. I questioned why his parents didn't notice the power had gone out and all of a sudden there was a second generator that was for them(?).
Their landlord had apparently stated he would be requiring $200 in rent a week early because he has bills and rates to pay. He informs me that he hasn't got a proper contract to even be on the property and could be kicked out at any moment and that he "needed to keep his landlord happy". I couldn't help him pay that much (nor did I really want to give in to his landlord's outrageous demand) so I sent him a link to QSTARS where he could learn his tenancy rights, except it was Saturday which means he wouldn't be able to call them. Then I suggested that he may be able to get a faster response over the weekend to his situation by making a Reddit account (he asked me what that was) and posting on the shitrentals sub.
A few days later he tells me he has been posting there and learning some things, meanwhile I had been intentionally avoiding the sub so as not to invade his personal privacy, however some days go by and I am suuuuper suspicious by this point I look around for some thread or comment relating to his situation in the timeframe it would have been possible for him to make one. I figured if the situation was so urgent that he would at least try to seek advice over the weekend, but I didn't see any evidence of that, he also never told me if he called the tenant's advisory and I never heard anything about his rental situation again.
6 Days from when he refreshed his mobile data, he had apparently used the 30GB limit. I was astounded at this and knew it was going to continue to be my problem if I didn't find this man a better subscription plan with his provider, so I did, for $10 more he could double his data. Only, I told him that he could have the 6-month plan for more money if he wasn't going to use so much data and because it would have been cheaper for me in the long run too, he agreed. I also thought that if he were really scamming me he would choose the option that makes me transfer more money, which is what happened. I guess that's test #2.
The ending:
Which brings me to today. The nephew was brought back into the story because he had apparently been kicked out of his mates place he was staying at(?) and they needed fuel to go and get him. Kicked out of 2 places? Okay. So I do the transfer and I decided that the only way I could subtly (that is, without compromising friendship or alerting this man that I don't trust him) find out the truth is to visit him face-to-face much further up his property. I wanted to confirm if A: the nephew was real or not B: if there was really a bus and C: if there was a second generator. The best way to do this, I thought, was to just show up and not ask if I could come over because if he was lying about the nephew's existence he would probably say a lot of things to make sure I'd not be able to visit him while the nephew is there. I bring a 6-pack to his gate and realise that he isn't home. Okay. I go home but there's a request in my phone for money for school uniforms and supplies for the nephew to transfer to a local school that I'm intentionally ignoring.
Queue the next day and I get prepared to go again, but I get a text saying that they're out again in town, still waiting for me to transfer money for these school supplies. I had done a bit of research and found that it was either unlikely or impossible for a student to transfer schools within one or two days, or to start in the middle of a term, so I felt pretty confident that this was a situation that didn't need addressing urgently. Also, remember when the nephew sorted something with Centrelink to get Aus Study payments, the one where I no longer had to pay some or all of his rent? Well, that was no longer the case. now he is too young to get them, casually forgotten about maybe? Oh yeah, and he had to start school that day. Anyway, I tell the man that it may be possible to get a uniform from the school's uniform storeroom as that is an option for families with financial difficulty, he says that due to Covid they are out of them and that they tried that already...
Right, so now I ask him how the nephew got kicked out (not important), I just wanted to know if it was planned or sudden, if there was enough time to start the process of transferring from his current school to the local one in town. There wasn't! SO, I called him out, told him what he was saying wasn't possible and that his story sounded like a scheme to get money out of me. I asked him for an easy proof, simply take a picture of yourself with the nephew in the car to prove he's real. He denied trying to scam me and said the nephew and the missus are in the school trying to resolve the situation and that he couldn't take the picture. Instead, he sent me a different picture on Facebook of him and his mates being pulled over for something by the police(?) which he claimed just happened before. I could barely identify anyone in that photo, but it looked like he was the one driving the car(?). I said that I've given him too many passes and the benefit of the doubt, but not this time and that whenever he wants to provide a picture with his nephew, like when he simply comes out of the school(?), to send it my way. Somewhat quickly they got out of the school and the excuse for not taking a picture became "We are driving in the car now"
He says that the picture before is the only one he's got, I said take another when you can, then he goes on about this being the last time he needs fuel money and to do it and then he'll send the picture. I told him no transfer would be happening and I would be blocking his number in a few hours if he doesn't do it (I really do like to give people the benefit of the doubt, it's almost certainly what has led to this going on for so long). He sends me another picture on Facebook except this time it's him upfront (passenger side), his missus behind him, and a child in the backseat.
This photo looked a lot more like what I was asking for, except neither him nor his missus looked the slightest bit worried about losing my charity and the child in the back didn't look 14-15 like the nephew is supposed to be aged. Rejecting this photo for these reasons and stating it was an old photo he had, he kept asking for fuel money just so he would be able to get home and so I told him that if he asks again, I would be blocking his number. I also told him his lack of forward thinking does not constitute an emergency for me and that there are at least 4 adults in his household and surely someone has thought that if they left to go to town, that they would be able to return home. He said that if I didn't provide the fuel money, they would be stuck. I said if his mum (the driver) had to pull over anyway, it would be a good time to take that picture (which I changed to him standing outside the car with his nephew).
He said providing another photo wouldn't do any good as he claims the two he sent were proof enough... the first one really isn't related to the second, it's strange he thought that would constitute the proof I was requesting, really it just raises further questions for me... and that's about when I block his number (after previously blocking him on Facebook).

Finding a motorcycle instructor in Dublin involves a few steps to ensure you find a qualified and reputable professional who can provide you with quality training. Here's how you can go about finding a motorbike instructor in Dublin:
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1. Online Search: Start by conducting an online search for motorcycle instructors in Dublin. Use search engines and online directories to find a list of instructors or training schools in your area. You can use search terms like "motorcycle instructor Dublin" or "motorbike lessons Dublin" to narrow down your options.
2. Read Reviews: Once you have a list of potential instructors or schools, read reviews and testimonials from past students. Websites like Google, Yelp, and Facebook often have reviews from previous clients, which can give you insights into the quality of instruction and the overall experience of working with a particular instructor or school.
3. Check Credentials: Verify the credentials and qualifications of the motorcycle instructors on your list. Look for instructors who are certified by reputable organizations such as the Road Safety Authority (RSA) or the Motorcycle Safety Foundation (MSF). Additionally, inquire about their experience, training background, and any specialized certifications they may have.
4. Ask for Recommendations: Reach out to friends, family members, or colleagues who have taken motorcycle lessons in Dublin and ask for recommendations. Personal referrals can be a valuable source of information and help you find instructors who have a proven track record of success.
5. Contact Instructors: Once you've narrowed down your list, contact the motorcycle instructors or training schools you're interested in. Ask about their availability, lesson packages, pricing, and teaching methods. Additionally, inquire about any additional services or amenities they may offer, such as bike rental or personalized coaching.
6. Schedule a Meeting or Introductory Lesson: If possible, schedule a meeting or introductory lesson with the instructor to discuss your goals, assess their teaching style, and determine if you feel comfortable working with them. This can give you a better sense of whether the instructor is the right fit for your needs.
7. Consider Location and Convenience: When choosing a motorcycle instructor, consider factors such as the location of their training facility, scheduling flexibility, and convenience. Choose an instructor who is located conveniently for you and offers lesson times that fit your schedule.

By following these steps and conducting thorough research, you can find a qualified and reputable motorcycle instructor in Dublin who can provide you with the training and guidance you need to become a skilled and confident rider.

The internet is a strange place, inadvertently designed to bring out the best and worst in people. People can be whoever or whatever they want to be. For predators and malignant narcissists and who live in their own delusions to begin with, it's like a hunting ground. They can create whatever persona they wish, fill their victims' heads with lies and half-truths that paint them out to be someone they are not, and by the time their victim actually meets them, it's too late - they've already created an image in their mind of this perfect person the narcissist has convinced them they are, and it usually takes time before the curtain comes down, the lies fall apart, and the mask breaks away.
I'm no saint, and I've learned my own tough lessons from the internet. I grew up under not-so-great circumstances, only getting 5 years of education before I turned 18 and was largely raised by a computer screen. Along the way, I catfished a woman in her mid-20's when I was 14-16 years old. It wasn't intentional at first, I told everyone that I was in my mid-20's and I worked as a bouncer at a bar in NYC. I never meant any harm, I was just raised by a computer and spent all my time alone playing MMOs and learned quickly that if I told people how old I was, they'd stop playing with me. So a bouncer seemed like a job I could bullshit about easily enough, and I was a big dude at 6'1 260lbs so I figured I could maybe pass it off as legit if it ever got hectic.
I started playing with this woman in her 20's and her husband frequently. We became friends fast, and soon we were virtually inseparable on the game. Her marriage ended up not working out, and after they separated she told me she had feelings for me. I should've admitted I wasn't who I said I was then, but I was young and dumb and she was the only real friend I had, so I kept up the ruse. Eventually I did come clean, and she broke it off with me not long after. We stayed friends, albeit with my heart hurting pretty bad, for a few months afterwards - until she met Jack.
When she first told me about Jack, he sounded like a great catch. He had his own IT business in Canada, was a couple years older but not by much, and she was infatuated with him. Obviously I was crushed and didn't handle it well, being a practically feral teenager at the time, so not long after they started getting serious she ghosted me altogether. I was around 17 at the time, and shit started going off the rails for me. After I got out of juvie, I started drinking heavily on a near-daily basis and selling and doing drugs. This led to a lot of pathetic, inebriated, desperate attempts to contact her and apologize for how I acted.
After months of being ignored, eventually grief and regret turned to anger, and finally acceptance. When the pain passed and I came to my senses a bit, I had an epiphany and realized that if I loved her as much as I thought I did, the best thing for both of us would be to let her go. I was a high school dropout with no job, selling drugs to get by. She had 2 kids, and what kind of life could I provide for them? She made the right choice, my age and the fact I made a grown woman fall in love with a teenager not withstanding, and as bad as it hurt I realized it was selfish of me not to accept the way things were and leave her alone, so I did.
10 years or so later, I had gotten my shit together. Worked my way up from cleaning dead shit out of swimming pools, to an entry level position at an environmental consulting firm, to a Project Manager at one of the largest firms in the field in the DC area. I'd met someone, got her pregnant, and for some reason I felt a pull to contact her again. Not to rekindle an old flame, but because she had been a tremendously positive influence on my life in a time where I had few. She was the first good thing I had in my life at a time when I was sleeping on old blankets on a hard floor in an abusive home, and what I'd held onto from our time together wasn't our romantic relationship, it was the best friend I'd ever had. And something made me want to tell her that all that work she put into getting my head right wasn't in vain, and I'd finally made it out of the gutter.
So I messaged her on Facebook, and to my surprise she actually responded. We started talking again, and soon it was back to every day. When my baby mama got back on drugs and turned abusive and was putting my daughter's life in jeopardy on a near-daily basis, she was the one who convinced me I could fight for custody - that I had to fight for custody. So I did, and I won, and I've had full custody of of my daughter since she was 6 months old and for the 10 years since.
But eventually we parted ways again. I'd started seeing someone, and part of me knew I couldn't commit to another woman while I was still carrying on with her. Our relationship had started turning romantic again, and she had dropped some hints about old Jack that would come to the forefront later, but she wasn't ready to leave him and I didn't want to be that guy, so I sent her a message explaining why we had to stop talking, apologized, and ghosted her.
7 more years went by after that night. The relationship I abandoned her for soured quickly when I found out that chick was a carbon copy of my baby mama, and I quit dating to focus on my career and raising my daughter. But on the long, 2+ hour commutes each way from work, I often found myself stuck pondering the "what ifs". What if I hadn't ghosted her? What if our age gap wasn't there, and we'd never had to split up to begin with? I knew in my soul I was never going to find someone like her again, but I made peace with it. I imagined her happy life, her kids with Jack, and convinced myself I made the right choice.
Then COVID hit, and near the start of it, I stumbled on a post on reddit about this dude who sent his high school sweetheart a message many years later apologizing for how he treated her and telling her how her presence impacted him, and I thought to myself, "Hey, I did that!". So I started writing a reply, and for the first time told the story of this girl and I. I'd never told a soul about what happened with us, not even my family or closest friends. Maybe it was the stigma of having an online relationship back in those days that carried over, or maybe it was just too personal to share with my friends or family. It got long, so eventually I just decided to start a new thread. When I was done, it was so long I figured no one would ever read it, but I hit submit anyway and put my phone down and got back to work.
Well, I was wrong. People did read it - a lot of people. Soon my phone started blowing up. Thousands of comments, hundreds of DMs, people offering me book deals and asking if they could have the rights for a screenplay or have me on their podcasts. It was fucking surreal, and being generally a private person who tries to fly under the rader, it got overwhelming fast. Eventually I reached out to her again on Facebook, warned her about what happened, and apologized for putting her business out there.
She didn't respond for a couple weeks, and when she did we started talking again almost immediately. And then in mid-April 2020, she told me that she needed to talk to me. She spilled everything, and told me exactly who Jack was. How he would hack into her devices to spy on her, threaten to kill her and her partner if she ever left him, say vile things to her and her daughters, calling the young girls cunts and bitches. How he alienated all her friends and family, and kept them all isolated in the house her parents bought them that he would rarely leave.
And I felt deceived too. All those years I'd convinced myself that she was happy, that she got together with Jack and was living the life she deserved. In reality, Jack intentionally got her pregnant not long after he flew out to her state the first time. He quickly moved into her house, and refused to work or provide not only for her kids or their kids, but for the other 3 children he abandoned in Australia and Canada who he had no relationship with, with 3 different women he victimized in the same manner. When she was 8 months pregnant with their first kid, she was working nights doing hospice care while he sat on his ass playing videogames all night and talking to his ex. In 17 years, this fucking loser with 7 kids by 4 women worked a grand total of 5 weeks, quit his job, claimed he got PTSD from the experience, and somehow manipulated his way into getting SSDI for it. They survived off SSDI and her parents' charity for years.
But Jack was reading all of this, because like I mentioned earlier, he was hacking her devices and watching us talk remotely. Jack knew the jig was up, and slowly started to unravel. She told him she wanted a divorce, and that she was not going to sever her friendship with me again. And he pretended to take that well, going as far as to try to befriend and manipulate me. He tried every trick to keep her he'd done for years - telling her he was going to get help and would change first, then when that failed he made suicide threats and somehow got his therapist to call her and tell her as long as she didn't leave him he wouldn't kill himself, and then he tried to intimidate her. Eventually he went off the rails completely and sexually assaulted her when he thought she was sleeping.
She called me from her parents' house crying the night it happened, and I convinced her to file a police report. She did, and a couple weeks later Jack got removed from the home, served with a protective order, and charged for sexual abuse. This of course did nothing to stop Jack - he broke into their house a couple days later when she and the kids were out to upload a folder of revenge porn to his Google Drive under the guise of wanting to drop off a cake for her birthday.
Then the stalking started. Jack would relentlessly message her all day and night on Facebook, switching between rage, trying to garner sympathy, convince her he would change, and threatening self-harm. We later found out via a cyber forensics report that he was hacking into the laptop she had taken with her while she hid at her parents' and had been so bold as to steal her Victim Impact Statement and send it to all his World of Warcraft buddies as a joke.
And he didn't just stalk her, he came for me too. Constant unauthorized attempts to access my accounts for everything from Windows to my bank, spam calls and emails - shit, the wormy little fuck even got his friends to stalk my social media and pretend to be strangers to gaslight me. I ignored all of it, and he got desperate enough to send me a lovely message attempting to extort and blackmail she and I, claiming he had "all my posts" but wouldn't do anything with them if I called him. The tipping point for me is when he subscribed to my small YouTube channel - which had nothing on it but 3 videos of my daughter. That veiled threat wasn't lost on me.
But Jack fucked up. I don't know if he thought his insane nonsense would scare me off, or if in his delusions he really thought he was the bad mother fucker he convinced himself he was, but Jack didn't know jack about me. I'm a crazy fuck too, and while he was sitting on his fat ass playing World of Warcraft all day every day for the past couple decades, I was selling drugs and hanging with some of the grimiest mother fuckers Baltimore had to offer. I've seen and experienced a lot of real violence outside a computer monitor, and the prospect of a violent resolution to this saga didn't phase me a whole lot. I'd spent years trying to be a better person and avoid conflict, but I sure as shit wasn't afraid of it either. Leading up to this point, I was already trying to calm myself down and talk myself off the ledge and not pack my guns and drive out there to keep watch until the police did their thing and put him away, which took a lot longer than it should have - this fucking guy violated his protective order 80 times in just a couple weeks.
So I called him, and he spent the next 26 minutes crying over the phone like a drunk little bitch, while I tried my best to be kind and to talk him off the ledge. And yes, I did record it, and yes it is hysterical listening to it now in hindsight, and yes I still have the recording. Anyway, I told him he was scaring the shit out of her and the kids, and he promised to leave us alone and I told him if he could chill the fuck out I would try to talk her into giving him more access to the kids. The next day, she got an email from her first ex-husband - Jack had reached out to him with a link to my reddit post trying to get help from him to come after me, which he promptly shut down and sent to her.
The next few weeks were terrifying as Jack descended further into madness and became more scared and desperate. He knew she was gone and not coming back, and he was facing real charges and real jail time, and while Jack is a fucking moron in a lot of ways, I'm sure he knew a fat, greasy computer nerd with a sex offense conviction wasn't going to have a good time in County. Jack was a murder-suicide waiting to happen, the police were doing nothing to stop his stalking, and I felt powerless to help her. Eventually after he sent her $50 over PayPal at 4:00am with what appeared to be a suicide note, I had enough. I called the DA's office, asked them why the fuck this was being allowed to happen, and promised them I'd been taking meticulous notes and if anything happened to her I would be taking it straight to the media. The DA told me if I was going to make threats the conversation was over, but sure enough he was finally arrested not long after.
Ironically we had remained platonic friends through most of this, but the shared experience of dealing with this psycho brought us closer together and things quickly changed. We knew he wasn't going to stop when he got out of jail, I felt responsible for her safety after my stupid reddit post started this chain of events that led to Jack's unraveling, and with the world seemingly coming apart during COVID, decided if we were ever going to meet it felt like it was now or never. So I booked a plane ticket across the country, spent a week with her and her family, and a few days after I came home she flew out to visit me and meet my family.
We went into it with no expectations. I fully accepted we might not click and our relationship would go back to being platonic. For my part, I just wanted the closure of finally meeting this person who had such a profound impact on my life before COVID mutated or something and killed us all.
But we did click, and the next two weeks were life-changing. I met and cooked for her entire extended family the day after I arrived, and it went well. While I was there I got her mom's email address, and after I went home I had an idea. I knew her parents had met in DC, so I emailed her mom and asked her for a list of places that were special to her, and she told me about the church her parents had met in. I asked her to keep our conversation secret so it would be a surprise, and she did.
So when she comes out to the east coast, I take her on a tour through DC and park the car a few blocks down the street from the church. As we're walking by, she notices the church and comments on how beautiful it is.
I keep it cool and respond, "Yeah, that's a pretty important place.".
She looks at me and says, "Oh? Why's that?".
"That's where your parents met.".
She audibly gasps, giddily bounces a bit, starts to cry, and we pulled down our masks (fuckin covid) and kiss. Her reaction is easily one of the greatest memories in my life. What I didn't know at the time, was that her parents had told her about that church since she and her siblings were kids. When the church changed denominations, the church took the angel statue off the top and brought it back to her home state, and her parents had taken them to see it a few times throughout her childhood.
Anyway, getting sidetracked here, the sappy love story stuff is a different story altogether.
A month after we met for the first time, I had quit my job, sold everything I couldn't fit in my sedan, and she flew back out and drove across the country with my daughter and I.
Sounds crazy as hell, and it was, but it worked out better than it should have. I got a good job making more than I did back home right away, her kids loved me, and my daughter loved her and adjusted to her new home fast. And by the time Jack got out of jail for felony cyberstalking, sexual abuse, and Intimidation of a Witness in a Domestic Violence case, we had cameras all over the house, and I had taught my fiancee how to shoot - which she quickly became better than me at.
But Jack's time in jail didn't slow him down, and the 2-10 year suspended sentence didn't deter him at all. As a matter of fact, on his first day out one of the first things he did was start trying to hack her accounts again. He managed to con an elderly couple he knew threw World of Warcraft from a different state into letting him live with them, and from there he spent a lot of time and energy stalking us and hacking our devices to the best of his ability. He also convinced these poor, very stupid elderly people from his videogame to bankroll a lengthy, expensive divorce. Somehow a man who hadn't worked in almost 20 years managed to run us into over $50,000 in legal fees in two years. How a marriage with zero assets turned into a two year battle when both parties were officially in poverty before the divorce, or how the family courts never saw through the bullshit is beyond me.
To Jack's credit, he did a pretty good job remaining a thorn in our side. Largely due to the complete and utter ineptitude and indifference of the police and District Attorney who could and should have put a stop to his bullshit at any point in that time. Old Jack got hit with a permanent criminal stalking injunction and a 10-year protective order along with his probation, and no amount of effort on our part would get the police, DA, or probation to put a stop to it, despite mountains of evidence.
He successfully managed to draw the divorce out right up to the wedding we planned a year and a half prior, with his attorney putting in motion after motion to delay the process. With all our family and friends coming from all over the country and as far away as Japan, we accepted our wedding would just be a celebration and not an official wedding. Until the night before the wedding, she got a call from her attorney - he had made a call to the clerk's office at the court and got her to move the paperwork to finalize the divorce to the top of the pile, and she was officially divorced. Our wedding would be a real wedding after all, and despite Jack's best efforts, he lost again. We had the wedding on a remote ranch that we rented for a week, and foolishly decided to cater and decorate ourselves, which would have been a colossal undertaking without the extra 4 hours to drive into town and get our marriage certificate at the courthouse. But we pulled it off and it was everything we could have hoped for and then some, and we were officially married.
Jack of course didn't stop after the divorce was finalized. The list of shit he tried to do to us before and after that is too long to spell out in an already too long post, but here are some choice bits:
He wrote a demented letter to the oldest of his kids with her who severed her relationship with him, calling my wife and her mother "vipers and cowards" and promising we would "answer for what we've done sooner or later".
He continuously hacked our computers, miscellaneous accounts tied to our emails, and any other devices he could get into - dropping in remotely via Amazon Alexa, phones, etc.
He set up bots to send us thousands of spam emails, sign us up for dozens of international newsletters all at once, and requests for consultations for things like solar panel installations.
He told the kids vile lies about my wife and I, although the most egregious was when he used a court-ordered therapy appointment with his second oldest daughter to accuse me of distributing child porn, told the therapist I am an "evil man", and told him I wasn't safe to be around his daughters. This led to her being forensically interviewed by the police, where she spelled out what happened, but of course they did nothing.
He gave the two youngest children cell phones to sneak into our house, with Google accounts activated and location tracking turned on.
He sent packages to our house 5 times in the space of a few months, one of which was addressed to himself and contained nothing but a bag of Stevia and a pack of gum. These packages generally came to our door the day before his scheduled visitation with the kids.
During this time my bank account was hacked four times in the span of just a few months with nearly identical fraudulent charges. In each of these instances, I had completely changed my bank account information.
He filed false reports with CPS twice, alleging we were beating the children, locking them in the closet, and not feeding or bathing them. This led to a CPS agent coming to our house to investigate.
We brought all this to the police over and over as it happened, and they did nothing. The DA running the case wasted 5 months subpoenaing a fake email address that we told them when we reported it was fake and spoofed. After finding out about that, we went to the DA's office to find out what the fuck was going on. A Victim's Advocate met with us, and was horrified about how the case was handled, looked up the prosecutor assigned to the case, rolled her eyes and said "Oh...it's Stephanie", confirming what we already knew - this prosecutor was completely incompetent, an elect3d politician moonlighting as a prosecutor. She called us the next day to tell us the actual DA called a meeting and a warrant was put out for Jack's arrest. For some inexplicable reason, they pulled the warrant back, and the advocate told us it was because the DA was pursuing more serious charges.
Then, they stonewalled us. The Victim's Advocate we had met with that actually tried to help us was moved off our case, and the new one assigned refused to talk to us or return our calls. The few exchanges we had with her, she made it abundantly clear she had the DA Office's interests in mind and not ours. We decided to just stay quiet and let the process play out and hope for the best, up until we received an email on Friday night before Election Day from the Detective telling us Stephanie had closed the case. I assume she didn't want her incompetence coming to light, and didn't want to shut the case down before Election Day knowing we would be on the warpath.
Eventually, Jack caught wind that he was officially under criminal investigation, but clearly had no idea they were never going to press charges. He got quiet for a bit, until he was ultimately let off probation early. We still get the occasional reminder he's out there watching, but his fear of going back to jail and the belief it might happen cowed him a bit. So instead he harasses us through the family courts, filing constant bullshit motions with no evidence to support them, and for some reason the courts let it continue. Somehow a man who makes ~$800 from SSDI and is only paying $30 a month total to support his 3 kids with my wife is able to fund tens of thousands of dollars worth of legal proceedings every year, and no one in the family courts has ever stopped to ask how he is paying for it or why all this money isn't being spent on supporting these children.
But despite Jack's best efforts, his bullshit hasn't worked. My wife and I have been together for four years soon, and married for two. His kids call me dad and hate his guts, only seeing him because the courts force them to. I continue to advance in my career, landing two major promotions in the past 2 years and now running a division in one of the largest companies in my field in this part of the country. I just enrolled in college to go back to school and get a degree in family law with a focus on domestic violence. The most frustrating part of the whole experience with ol' Jack was having no one to turn to when all the institutions who were supposed to keep this from happening ignored us, and even though I'll be well into my mid 40's before I accomplish my new goals, I plan to advocate for domestic violence victims and do everything I can to lobby for change to these laws to keep as many people as I can from going through what my wife and I did. I learned that the only way to beat these people at their game is to play on the same field right along with them, and that's what I intend to do.
My wife went back to work too once she healed from some of the trauma, making $30 an hour as a personal assistant for a fella who's had two movies made about his life. Our kids struggled a bit with school and dealing with all their biological parents' issues, but they quickly turned it around and have been excelling. We're all happy, healthy, and doing better now than ever.
As for Jack? Well, he's pushing 50 and still spending his days alone, playing World of Warcraft and jerking off in this old couple's basement. Nothing has changed there, and now he's too fat, old, and visibly an enormous fucking loser to victimize women in the same way he did in his youth. I have no doubts he'll find another victim eventually, probably when these old weirdos bankrolling his life now finally wise up, but one thing Jack forgets is that karma is a mother fucker, and I have a giant database of evidence that I can and will send out to whoever I please to help pull that mask down and keep him from doing this to someone else. Nothing is more appealing to a potential love interest than hearing their man cry like a drunk bitch for 26 minutes to the man he claims stole his wife, while simultaneously admitting to sexually assaulting said wife.
As wonderful as it would have been for Jack to go to prison where he can't hurt anyone again, there is some catharsis knowing Jack will forever be in a prison of his own making. His children want nothing to do with him, and he'll never see them graduate or walk them down the aisle. Jack will die miserable and alone, and in his narcissistic delusion will still be blaming everyone else for the colossal failure of his life, while continuing to fail to grasp the one thread that ties all his misery together - himself.
And since he somehow manages to find and stalk most of my social media, I'd wager Jack will end up reading this too. I hope he does in all honesty. And Jack, if you are reading this, I want you to know that you can kick, flail, manipulate and lie, cry and complain until you're red in the face. None of it matters. You don't matter. You'll leave this world alone, as sad and bitter as you are now, and the world will be a better place for it.

To preface one thing - this is in Singapore, I am half singaporean and half thai, I have no close friends or family members around here, but I study here.
So after many years of dating and many quite one sided and manipulative relationships with guys and after 3 months of being single I finally got into relationship with my GF. First time trying lesbian dynamic. I felt it would be very different, she would understand me more and was less demanding of me and of course less physical and simply more harmonious, since, you know it's a fellow woman.
I was also taking it slow and we had like dozen dates before getting entangled officially couple months ago. She is quite lovely and well educated, slightly older than me, somewhat exotic looking around here and it felt we are becming good friends.
When we finally hooked up she had to guide me a lot because it's indeed quite different dynamic than with a guy but that was fine, I guess and she seemed to even enjoyed and would joke about how I was lesbian virgin and she can shape me to be suited for her. Which I thought at the time was cute.
Long story short I recently finally moved in with her and that was a mistake. I've been at her place most of the time we would hang out because my place was really tiny. Right after I moved in I was just in a span of week introduced to basically a laundry list of chores I should do and at the time I thought alright we pull this together right, but we didn't. After next couple weeks I realised (for the first time ever) that I am doing the same chores I would be doing for my former boyfriends and I started to feel, yet again, more as a maid with benefits. This time I had courage to voice that to my GF and she would apologise and be all sweet about how she didn't realise and that would coo me for another week, but no changes would actually happen. Only now I think it's been manipulative.
Since I am a university student and a "gym bunny" I have less free time than one would expect and suddenly it was filled mostly by coming home doing chores before going to gym and then coming from gym and my GF would be still up and then she would be demanding for attention, mostly in bedroom. This is when I've also noticed that while guiding me in bedroom she never seemed eager to pleasure me in return unless I would specifically ask and so for days I tried not to ask and suddenly it was super one sided bedroom stuff and she seemed perfectly fine with that. That stung because it immedaitelly reminded me of my last 3 boyfriends where it was the same.
I held a lot of this in, trying to keep being disciplined and do all she'd like me to do and chores and everything more and better in hopes of her seeing more value in me. But it simply didn't happen, not over course of two plus weeks.
Well this weekend I was using her ipad, where she always logged off out of all social and communication apps when she wasn't using. I always thought it's a like... internet safety thing in case the device gets hacked or something. But this time her whatsapp and wechat was logged in and I simply discovered that while I am at school and she's "working" from home she's hooking up at least once a week with guys. Or at least mostly with guys I wasn't in the mood to read into too much detail, seeing texts of your presumeably loved sending very intimite and heartfelt texts to guys and reacting to their D pics and sending stuff back... I felt betrayed but so far I haven't said anything and the routine contiues to my own detrement.
From doing gymnastics on higher level for 10+ years I'm used to some discipline and manners that would now be probably consider abuse, but what I learnt from that was to be quiet a lot not to cause conflict and please people. Despite my previous relationships with guys being basically abusive it was eventually always them to dump me, I never had the guts to do it yet (not counting middle school lol). This time I recognize the problem and I would like to end things but at the same time I moved too soon (in hindsight) and have nowhere to go at the moment.
And so for weeks I felt like maid and for 4-5 days now I feel more like bang maid who's also stupid and naive and I couldn't contemplate a good .. like escape plan, that's why I am making this post. In the meanwhile I continue the same old routine unable to almost meet my GF's eyes, yet she seem strangely not noticing any change and looking quite happy. On top of that you probably can guess how I feel being at school, knowing there's a decent change she's out hooking up. It just all crushing my selfesteem yet I feel stuck in the routine and my head.
TLDR: GF is cheating, doesn't know I know, because I am scared to confront her since I have nowhere to go if I'd move out.

What a nightmare.
So, my story and process is very similar to this thread, but I figure it's worth sharing just to give a bit of hope and info on the process.
April 30th, I wake up to find I'm logged out of my Facebook account, and attempts to log back in reveal it's been disabled for inappropriate Instagram content. To appeal, I need to log in to the Instagram account, which is a Vietnamese username I don't recognise. Familiar story to many, I'm sure. This disabled page gives you the option to download some of your Facebook account, and I believe this was key- the access logs show exactly when and where it was hacked.
My own Instagram is not suspended, but has been unlinked from two accounts at the same time- I assume the hacker's IG and my Facebook.
Fruitlessly search Facebook's FAQs, end up here. Email the support addresses that are listed, no reply at all.
Get Meta Verified through IG to communicate with a human, at £9.99/month. Thinking about it, I should cancel that now.
Go through Meta Verified to communicate the Facebook issue. Raised approximately 20 tickets, but actually found that replying to the same one was more effective in getting replies. Each and every time, they send me links to the Facebook pages that do not work. The loop. I cannot upload ID to verify my identity as it wants me to log in, I cannot log in because it's disabled. I also, as stated, cannot appeal through IG by logging in to the hacker's IG. Each and every time, they try to close the ticket. Replying reopens it.
Eventually, I was escalated to a manager. I work in customer service, I know they'll all have scripts to follow and limits to what they can do. At no point am I getting angry or abusive, but I am making it clear that I have repeated the process, and I screenshot everything, showing my attempts to follow their instructions. I ask them for another way to be put through to the appeals team, because their form will not let me. No dice. Dead end after dead end.
So I come here again, and see the EU reporting form:
https://facebook.com/help/contact/837980354337486
You can't access it from the UK, just clicking it gives a page error. You need to use a VPN and put your location in Europe. Thanks, Brexit. I installed the Opera browser, which has a free VPN built in.
THIS WORKED.
I received a ticket from a support agent asking me for:

• Username
• Date the account was hacked (attached the access log)
• Current email/phone associated with it
• A new email address, never associated with Facebook

This email was replied to on Thursday 9th. By Sunday 12th, I had received an email at the new email address. This was from the "Facebook Community Operations Team", not Meta Support. They wanted a complete, detailed overview of what had happened, with ID, including the issues I'd encountered trying to report through the Facebook links. This felt like less of a template email reply and that progress was being made.
So I gave it to them. I also gave them some very specific details of the Facebook account- specific photo album names and status updates, information about Events I had previously organised through Facebook, what the banner picture was- anything extra that I thought could sway them to believe I was who I said I was. I underlined how the "permanently disabled after 30 days" part would mean losing all contact with specific people on the account, and I told them I'd travel to Facebook HQ to verify my identity face to face if need be. I didn't know what the hacker may have done with any of those things, but I included anything I thought could be reviewed and proven as true. I again attached the access logs and disabled screenshots.
Within 12 hours I had a reply stating they had secured my account with the new email address and a password reset link. It worked. The EU link through a VPN worked for me.

I appreciate the story probably ends there for most people, but since regaining access, I looked into what had been done by the hacker. They had added someone Vietnamese (themselves?) as a Facebook friend, who I have obviously now reported and blocked. They had not touched my wall, friends, photos or statues.
More importantly, and probably their whole aim, they set up a Facebook Ad Account under my name, and started spamming paid ads for something Vietnamese. They used someone's credit card details to do this, for about US$300- the details were not mine, so I guess someone else got a shock and cancelled the payments when they noticed.
However, my linked PayPal account was listed as a backup payment account, and my home address listed as the business account address. As I did not authorise the payments with PayPal, no funds left the account, and because the payments failed, the ads were suspended- I discovered this from notifications that they had on Facebook.
I am obviously taking steps now to close that Ad Account with Facebook.
And, as far as I can tell, that's it. My Facebook account was a perfectly normal, standard personal account. I'm going to spend today backing up photos on it, because it has made me very aware of just how much I'd have list if I hadn't found a way to resolve this.

I'm putting fake names... (A lot of the timelines are spread out but they talk about those specific moments, I hope they make since)
I have a friend, I'll call her J. I have known J for almost 9 years. She and I grew up pretty close and we were inseparable. Over the first few years of our friendship she had lost my parents trust from an incident involving a boy, she wasn't allowed to stay over for sleepovers and I practically lost my whole summer that year. I was pretty angry at my parents and blamed things on them. I regret my actions and I did learn but in my mind I thought J was the only person who understood me.
After the whole incident settled down. School started up again and she would jokingly push me into a boy or a locker. She started putting her arm around my neck, trying to choke me. She would continuously punch me or smack me on the head. I honestly got annoyed by it but I acted like it was nothing. She had suddenly became obsessed with TikTok and she posted a whole TikTok about her friends, their was a video of me that stood out. I wasn't wearing a shirt. Which completely made me uncomfortable because I wasn't wearing a shirt and she took the video while I was changing. She didn't take it down. She also would post photos without my consent. Like ones that made me feel ugly or disgusting. And I would tell her how they made me feel. But she would still post them. I started telling her no when she asked for photos and she always would sneak one when I wasn't looking. She doesn't take no for an answer. She will start whining when you don't listen. I used to trust her with my feelings and I would tell her about everything. And now I feel like she knows too much.
This past school year all of my friends (king, J, Joe, Bell) and I went to SDYC. And well when we went J was lying a bunch and starting a bunch of drama and it threw all of my friends off. We all didn't trust J and Joe that well during that time. I felt like the only people I had was my friends King and Bell. Because they both understood how I felt.
After that. King, J, and I had a sleepover. During the middle of the night I was watching a movie and J began to bug me. She started pushing on me saying I was taking up too much room. But honestly I was the one who was sleeping in between two couches there's no way I was taking that much space because I was falling in the crack. She then proceeded to call me a fat roll. I said "no your a fat roll" jokingly. And then she freaks out and she went to tell her boyfriend. It annoyed me because all her boyfriend knows how to do is talk bad. After that sleepover. She started working at the same place as me and I told her about my big crush on this coworker of ours. And so then she decided to start flirting with him in front of me. She would throw something at him jokingly and giggle. I didn't try to think anything of it. But then when we were talking about him the next thing she decided to say was, "your just jealous because he talks to me and not you". The thing is I don't want to talk to him that's why I don't try to talk to him. He has talked to me before, but I rather admire him from afar. He's like 13 years older than me. He was just hot to me at the time.
I'll just say I am lighter than a 5'6 girl. I might have a little bit of belly fat but that's just my body. And I do have an eating disorder. I don't eat enough, I practically starve myself. J honestly made me feel worse and I started having moments where I would basically pass out from no iron in my body. J continued to body shame me even from the amount of food I would eat. She straight up made is feel like she was calling me ugly and fat. It hurt and it made me angry. I told my dad and he said she's just jealous and not to worry about it. I brushed it off but she basically would say something everyday. It got to a point where I was crying all the time.
During my last year of highschool J didn't have a vehicle. So she would ask me to drive her places. I didn't mind because we would be going to the same places. And I started offering to pay for her drink or something. I didn't think much of it in tell I was always taking her places and buying her drinks but she still wanted me to pay her back for stuff when I didn't have much money. She managed to buy a vehicle for a small price by saving up the money she didn't spend. I feel stupid for offering. One day her mom even texted me asking for the small money I "owed" J. But my parents think I don't owe her anything because I have given her most of my money and that she owes me money.
J also does this thing where if you don't give her your attention she'll keep tapping you. Over and over again. Everytime she asks for my attention it's always for something so pointless and stupid. Nothing serious. And everytime I ask for her attention she'll ignore me. She does it a lot. She only wants to have the attention. I stopped telling her about how I feel because all I know is she'll either use it against me or not actually listen and move past it. Like once she asked me how I felt and when I told her that I cried about something she moved on from it into her talking about her crying over some movie she watched.
The way she treated me made me so angry that I texted her boyfriend anonymously asking him to control his girlfriend and get her to be nicer to others. He didn't like the message and told his girl on the spot and J tried to call my fake number. I didn't answer and then she ran to me to tell me the tea. She later assumed it was a boy she was flirting with that she pushed away.
I hate her boyfriend but he deserves better.. because she has talked to another boy behind his back. When I started liking this one boy. I told her about it and then she began to tell me how she met this UK boy and she thinks he's all that. She later found out he was lying about his age and she got back to reality before she lost her in person boyfriend.
She told king I was flirting with this one dude but I wasn't. J told me to add this guy she found on Facebook on snap, I said okay and I called the dude a nickname like a Grandma would call their grandchildren. And I thought it was funny and the guy thought it was chill. I didn't think anything of it and then I blocked him because I didn't want to talk to him. She then decided to add the guy on snap. And she starts talking to him. The amount of times she has lied is crazy. I blocked him but she still has him on snap. For what reason I don't know.
J and Joe and I have recently had a lot of problems with each other. It's always J and Joe fighting and I'm between listening to them both argue about each other. I was getting tired of it. J hit my breaking point when she decided to ask me for my boyfriends sisters snap. You don't just ask your friend for her boyfriends sisters snap. That's weird. She also asked for my boyfriends and she looked him up when I told her no and she added a bunch of dudes with the same name. She didn't find him but there is no way I want her knowing him or his sister. I have too many trust issues with her. She's the main reason why a lot of my relationships didn't work out. They didn't like her and she manipulated me into saying things that upset them. She makes me so uncomfortable. She made me seem lesbian once when I know I'm not. But she made a TikTok about it and a lot of people from my school saw it. I don't like false accusations. I'm pretty sure she used it for clout. But also my parents think she's inlove with me because she can never leave me alone and she always HAS to hold hands or hug.
J doesn't understand a lot of things. And she calls me stupid. I honestly want karma to come get her but that's bad and I don't mean to say that. It hurts a lot.
I had blocked J on everything. But since I worked with J I saw her and she started bawling her eyes out at me saying she did nothing, I felt bad but I was annoyed because she kept bugging me. So I unblocked her. I decided to block her again after because my boyfriend said she was manipulating me. And well the more I had her blocked the nicer she was. After a while Joe did something to make me give up on my friendship with her too and J expected that to be a chance to get me back. And well she did practically. She was a lot nicer and I felt like she changed. But Man was I wrong.. Just today I was working my second night shift. I said something as a joke because I was hoping J would get what I meant. Her boyfriend was on the call... He took everything out of context and said something that made me feel less about myself. I already feel like crap being the person I am. I want to better myself but the more people say things the more I give up. I want to be encouraged not dragged down. I don't know why he has to be so mean. I never did anything to him. I don't know why they both have to be... I listen to her call people ugly all the time. Like just stop. I want her to stop. I'm leaving for the military soon, and she said that I can't get rid of her. That sounds psycho. And it honestly makes me want to get away more. I'm tired of the toxic environment and I want to get away. But she's everywhere. She knows everything about me. She has photos of me I hate. She has so many things she can use against me. I'm honestly scared. I want to block her again but I know she's just going to keep bugging me about it. And she might turn people against me. She's good at talking to people. I'm not I'm an introvert. I don't want her ever find me again once I leave. But I know she might try. People always find a way. And she's creepy. Because I know she'll be able to. But I just want to move on with my life. I don't know how to remove her from my life. What should I do?

I'm putting fake names... (A lot of the timelines are spread out but they talk about those specific moments, I hope they make since)
I have a friend, I'll call her J. I have known J for almost 9 years. She and I grew up pretty close and we were inseparable. Over the first few years of our friendship she had lost my parents trust from an incident involving a boy, she wasn't allowed to stay over for sleepovers and I practically lost my whole summer that year. I was pretty angry at my parents and blamed things on them. I regret my actions and I did learn but in my mind I thought J was the only person who understood me.
After the whole incident settled down. School started up again and she would jokingly push me into a boy or a locker. She started putting her arm around my neck, trying to choke me. She would continuously punch me or smack me on the head. I honestly got annoyed by it but I acted like it was nothing. She had suddenly became obsessed with TikTok and she posted a whole TikTok about her friends, their was a video of me that stood out. I wasn't wearing a shirt. Which completely made me uncomfortable because I wasn't wearing a shirt and she took the video while I was changing. She didn't take it down. She also would post photos without my consent. Like ones that made me feel ugly or disgusting. And I would tell her how they made me feel. But she would still post them. I started telling her no when she asked for photos and she always would sneak one when I wasn't looking. She doesn't take no for an answer. She will start whining when you don't listen. I used to trust her with my feelings and I would tell her about everything. And now I feel like she knows too much.
This past school year all of my friends (king, J, Joe, Bell) and I went to SDYC. And well when we went J was lying a bunch and starting a bunch of drama and it threw all of my friends off. We all didn't trust J and Joe that well during that time. I felt like the only people I had was my friends King and Bell. Because they both understood how I felt.
After that. King, J, and I had a sleepover. During the middle of the night I was watching a movie and J began to bug me. She started pushing on me saying I was taking up too much room. But honestly I was the one who was sleeping in between two couches there's no way I was taking that much space because I was falling in the crack. She then proceeded to call me a fat roll. I said "no your a fat roll" jokingly. And then she freaks out and she went to tell her boyfriend. It annoyed me because all her boyfriend knows how to do is talk bad. After that sleepover. She started working at the same place as me and I told her about my big crush on this coworker of ours. And so then she decided to start flirting with him in front of me. She would throw something at him jokingly and giggle. I didn't try to think anything of it. But then when we were talking about him the next thing she decided to say was, "your just jealous because he talks to me and not you". The thing is I don't want to talk to him that's why I don't try to talk to him. He has talked to me before, but I rather admire him from afar. He's like 13 years older than me. He was just hot to me at the time.
I'll just say I am lighter than a 5'6 girl. I might have a little bit of belly fat but that's just my body. And I do have an eating disorder. I don't eat enough, I practically starve myself. J honestly made me feel worse and I started having moments where I would basically pass out from no iron in my body. J continued to body shame me even from the amount of food I would eat. She straight up made is feel like she was calling me ugly and fat. It hurt and it made me angry. I told my dad and he said she's just jealous and not to worry about it. I brushed it off but she basically would say something everyday. It got to a point where I was crying all the time.
During my last year of highschool J didn't have a vehicle. So she would ask me to drive her places. I didn't mind because we would be going to the same places. And I started offering to pay for her drink or something. I didn't think much of it in tell I was always taking her places and buying her drinks but she still wanted me to pay her back for stuff when I didn't have much money. She managed to buy a vehicle for a small price by saving up the money she didn't spend. I feel stupid for offering. One day her mom even texted me asking for the small money I "owed" J. But my parents think I don't owe her anything because I have given her most of my money and that she owes me money.
J also does this thing where if you don't give her your attention she'll keep tapping you. Over and over again. Everytime she asks for my attention it's always for something so pointless and stupid. Nothing serious. And everytime I ask for her attention she'll ignore me. She does it a lot. She only wants to have the attention. I stopped telling her about how I feel because all I know is she'll either use it against me or not actually listen and move past it. Like once she asked me how I felt and when I told her that I cried about something she moved on from it into her talking about her crying over some movie she watched.
The way she treated me made me so angry that I texted her boyfriend anonymously asking him to control his girlfriend and get her to be nicer to others. He didn't like the message and told his girl on the spot and J tried to call my fake number. I didn't answer and then she ran to me to tell me the tea. She later assumed it was a boy she was flirting with that she pushed away.
I hate her boyfriend but he deserves better.. because she has talked to another boy behind his back. When I started liking this one boy. I told her about it and then she began to tell me how she met this UK boy and she thinks he's all that. She later found out he was lying about his age and she got back to reality before she lost her in person boyfriend.
She told king I was flirting with this one dude but I wasn't. J told me to add this guy she found on Facebook on snap, I said okay and I called the dude a nickname like a Grandma would call their grandchildren. And I thought it was funny and the guy thought it was chill. I didn't think anything of it and then I blocked him because I didn't want to talk to him. She then decided to add the guy on snap. And she starts talking to him. The amount of times she has lied is crazy. I blocked him but she still has him on snap. For what reason I don't know.
J and Joe and I have recently had a lot of problems with each other. It's always J and Joe fighting and I'm between listening to them both argue about each other. I was getting tired of it. J hit my breaking point when she decided to ask me for my boyfriends sisters snap. You don't just ask your friend for her boyfriends sisters snap. That's weird. She also asked for my boyfriends and she looked him up when I told her no and she added a bunch of dudes with the same name. She didn't find him but there is no way I want her knowing him or his sister. I have too many trust issues with her. She's the main reason why a lot of my relationships didn't work out. They didn't like her and she manipulated me into saying things that upset them. She makes me so uncomfortable. She made me seem lesbian once when I know I'm not. But she made a TikTok about it and a lot of people from my school saw it. I don't like false accusations. I'm pretty sure she used it for clout. But also my parents think she's inlove with me because she can never leave me alone and she always HAS to hold hands or hug.
J doesn't understand a lot of things. And she calls me stupid. I honestly want karma to come get her but that's bad and I don't mean to say that. It hurts a lot.
I had blocked J on everything. But since I worked with J I saw her and she started bawling her eyes out at me saying she did nothing, I felt bad but I was annoyed because she kept bugging me. So I unblocked her. I decided to block her again after because my boyfriend said she was manipulating me. And well the more I had her blocked the nicer she was. After a while Joe did something to make me give up on my friendship with her too and J expected that to be a chance to get me back. And well she did practically. She was a lot nicer and I felt like she changed. But Man was I wrong.. Just today I was working my second night shift. I said something as a joke because I was hoping J would get what I meant. Her boyfriend was on the call... He took everything out of context and said something that made me feel less about myself. I already feel like crap being the person I am. I want to better myself but the more people say things the more I give up. I want to be encouraged not dragged down. I don't know why he has to be so mean. I never did anything to him. I don't know why they both have to be... I listen to her call people ugly all the time. Like just stop. I want her to stop. I'm leaving for the military soon, and she said that I can't get rid of her. That sounds psycho. And it honestly makes me want to get away more. I'm tired of the toxic environment and I want to get away. But she's everywhere. She knows everything about me. She has photos of me I hate. She has so many things she can use against me. I'm honestly scared. I want to block her again but I know she's just going to keep bugging me about it. And she might turn people against me. She's good at talking to people. I'm not I'm an introvert. I don't want her ever find me again once I leave. But I know she might try. People always find a way. And she's creepy. Because I know she'll be able to. But I just want to move on with my life. I don't know how to remove her from my life. What should I do?

UID ACCOUNT: 589568262
Good day.
My case is that my account was hacked and I don't know how.
I haven't logged into my PUBG Mobile account for some 2 years and I recently received an email telling me that a phone number from the country of Uzbekistan has been added to the account. I always used my account in the North America - Dominican Republic region and now it appears in Uzbekistan. When I accessed the account for a few minutes I realized that the account had already been in use for 4 months by another person whom I never authorized access to.
To test the authenticity of the account a little, I have access to the email that I linked to the account at the beginning, which is the email isaigonzalezruiz9@gmail.com and I have never changed it.
I also have the Facebook with which I linked the account to which I will attach some images of the accounts, both email and Facebook and also some Google Play invoices from some purchases I made on 11/21/2021.
Imgur link for the pictures: https://imgur.com/a/Jcuw5jN
Thank you and have a good day.

To preface one thing - this is in Singapore, I am half singaporean and half thai, I have no close friends or family members around here, but I study here.
So after many years of dating and many quite one sided and manipulative relationships with guys and after 3 months of being single I finally got into relationship with my GF. First time trying lesbian dynamic. I felt it would be very different, she would understand me more and was less demanding of me and of course less physical and simply more harmonious, since, you know it's a fellow woman.
I was also taking it slow and we had like dozen dates before getting entangled officially couple months ago. She is quite lovely and well educated, slightly older than me, somewhat exotic looking around here and it felt we are becming good friends.
When we finally hooked up she had to guide me a lot because it's indeed quite different dynamic than with a guy but that was fine, I guess and she seemed to even enjoyed and would joke about how I was lesbian virgin and she can shape me to be suited for her. Which I thought at the time was cute.
Long story short I recently finally moved in with her and that was a mistake. I've been at her place most of the time we would hang out because my place was really tiny. Right after I moved in I was just in a span of week introduced to basically a laundry list of chores I should do and at the time I thought alright we pull this together right, but we didn't. After next couple weeks I realised (for the first time ever) that I am doing the same chores I would be doing for my former boyfriends and I started to feel, yet again, more as a maid with benefits. This time I had courage to voice that to my GF and she would apologise and be all sweet about how she didn't realise and that would coo me for another week, but no changes would actually happen. Only now I think it's been manipulative.
Since I am a university student and a "gym bunny" I have less free time than one would expect and suddenly it was filled mostly by coming home doing chores before going to gym and then coming from gym and my GF would be still up and then she would be demanding for attention, mostly in bedroom. This is when I've also noticed that while guiding me in bedroom she never seemed eager to pleasure me in return unless I would specifically ask and so for days I tried not to ask and suddenly it was super one sided bedroom stuff and she seemed perfectly fine with that. That stung because it immedaitelly reminded me of my last 3 boyfriends where it was the same.
I held a lot of this in, trying to keep being disciplined and do all she'd like me to do and chores and everything more and better in hopes of her seeing more value in me. But it simply didn't happen, not over course of two plus weeks.
Well this weekend I was using her ipad, where she always logged off out of all social and communication apps when she wasn't using. I always thought it's a like... internet safety thing in case the device gets hacked or something. But this time her whatsapp and wechat was logged in and I simply discovered that while I am at school and she's "working" from home she's hooking up at least once a week with guys. Or at least mostly with guys I wasn't in the mood to read into too much detail, seeing texts of your presumeably loved sending very intimite and heartfelt texts to guys and reacting to their D pics and sending stuff back... I felt betrayed but so far I haven't said anything and the routine contiues to my own detrement.
From doing gymnastics on higher level for 10+ years I'm used to some discipline and manners that would now be probably consider abuse, but what I learnt from that was to be quiet a lot not to cause conflict and please people. Despite my previous relationships with guys being basically abusive it was eventually always them to dump me, I never had the guts to do it yet (not counting middle school lol). This time I recognize the problem and I would like to end things but at the same time I moved too soon (in hindsight) and have nowhere to go at the moment.
And so for weeks I felt like maid and for 4-5 days now I feel more like bang maid who's also stupid and naive and I couldn't contemplate a good .. like escape plan, that's why I am making this post. In the meanwhile I continue the same old routine unable to almost meet my GF's eyes, yet she seem strangely not noticing any change and looking quite happy. On top of that you probably can guess how I feel being at school, knowing there's a decent change she's out hooking up. It just all crushing my selfesteem yet I feel stuck in the routine and my head.
TLDR: GF is cheating, doesn't know I know, because I am scared to confront her since I have nowhere to go if I'd move out.

Even typing the question in the title sounded creepy lol but I'll give some background information: I'm about to graduate high school and go to college. I was an 8th grader in middle school in 2020 and then the pandmeic happened and I never saw that school or any of the teachers again. In 8th grade I had this one teacher who I looked up to so dearly. She was grumpy and mean to everyone else but for some reason kind to me. We talked more than her other students. When I got a boyfriend she would ask me about him and even told him once that I reminded her of a younger version of herself (he wasn't even one of her students she just stopped him to say that to him). I struggled so much mentally when I was that age and going to school was so hard for me but she always made it better.
I believe March 13, 2020 was the last day most people had school before everything went crazy but ours was the day before because a pipe or something broke in the school. That day we were going to be sent home early because of the pipe breaking and we had to wait in our classroom for the buses to come pick us up. There were only a few kids left (including me) waiting for the bus to come. My teacher went to another classroom to talk to a teacher and brought back my boyfriend to let us sit together while we waited and that was the last time I ever saw her :(
I think of her a lot still to this day. I'm so sad I never had a chance to tell her how much she meant to me. She helped me through such a hard time in my life and I wish she knew. I really want her to know how much she inspires me still to this day and I feel like this is a good time since I'm about to graduate.
This is when we get to the question in the title. I grew up in a small town and I don't live there anymore and after covid I did online school and I have since then. To find her I looked up the school I used to go to and I tried to see if there was somewhere I could email her but she doesn't seem to work at that school anymore. She has a very unique name so I looked her up to see if she was on facebook or anything but she wasn't. I did, however, find an address on one of those public record websites when I searched her name. She doesn't live in the town I used to live anymore but she does live close to it. In the previous addresses the town I used to live in is listed. I believe this is her because like I said she has a very unique name and the age listed sounds correct. Even if it isn't her I would still like to try.
Would it be creepy to send a letter to the address I found online? She's quite old so I don't want to put it off until like 20 years when she possibly isn't here anymore. She helped me through so much and she's the only teacher I've felt a connection to. She was never anything but kind to me and I just want to thank her. Even if there's a chance it isn't her I would still like to try. What would you do? :)

I do t know if it’s just me or if this stuff is suspicious. We’ve been together for a year now. Here’s the reasons I think she might be cheating:

1. We used condoms at the beginning of our relationship. Then about two months in we stopped. Now all of a sudden she wants to start using them again. She said it’s because she doesn’t like the smell we both produce when we have sex and that the condoms help.
   
2. We barely even have sex anymore. We’re going on two months now.
   
3. She accidentally turned off her location services on her phone and I can’t see her location. She can still see mine. When I asked her about it, she said she didn’t know how to turn it back on. I walked her through it and got it back on. A day later, they were off again.
   
4. She doesn’t wear her engagement ring. When I asked her about that, she said it’s because she doesn’t like being asked personal questions about her life while she’s at work. That kind of makes sense, but when she goes out with friends, she doesn’t wear it either.
   
5. When invited to go out with friends, her friends don’t invite me to tag along. Our group of friends is one that we have both known since high school. We’ve both been friends with this group for almost 20 years.
   
6. She’s been distant. We used to cuddle every night and now I barely get a kiss good night.
   
7. She recently started doing her makeup and hair in the spare bathroom. She’s always done it in our shared bedroom or bathroom. When I asked her about it, she said it’s because she doesn’t want to wake me up. I’ve told her that she is the only person in this world that could wake me up and I’d have no issue with it.
   
8. It took her two weeks to tell her family about our engagement. When I shared it on Facebook, she got upset with me.
   
9. She always keeps her phone unlocked. That’s not the issue, but she used to always just leave it lying around. Now she never lets it out of her sight. My phone is locked because I use it for work and have sensitive company information on there. She has the password and has her face assigned to it, so she always has access.
   
10. She used to take calls while I’m in the room and always used speaker phone because she said it’s easier for her to hear it. Now within the past month she leaves the room and uses the regular speaker.
    

I really hope this is me just being paranoid. I don’t know how to approach any of this with her without making her uncomfortable or without it seeming like I’m accusing her of cheating. I don’t want to secretly go through her phone or anything like that. We signed a lease together a month ago. If she is cheating and I find out, I’m stuck with her for another 11 months. Any help would be appreciated.

I am a 34 yr old gay male. Ive always had a cold relationship with my mom ever since I started working in high school and showing that I was a go getter compared to my older, loser brother who can do no wrong but of course he’s the favorite. Ok sorry lets not get distracted haha back to this altercation.
My Nmom is in her late 60s, in a wheelchair and on a fixed income and finally situated in an affordable senior housing complex which is cheap, safe and clean. I’m truly happy she’s there. I’ve gone no contact before for about a year and it was extremely peaceful however with family coming to town and other things I’ve opened up light communication with her from time to time. She’s been mentioning how she’s been dating a mid 30s Asian man who’s a billionaire prince in a foreign country. He’s in love with her and she’s toying with the idea of moving out of the country to live in his family castle. (MY OH MY HOW I WISH THIS WAS TRUE HAHA). Apparently all of the local women around him just want to use him for his money so he somehow found my Nmom on Facebook dating to seek a true love hmmmmm ok right, textbook romance scammer. There’s also been a few other incidences where my Nmom has reached out to me freaking out because someone called and told her I was arrested for drugs and another time I was kidnapped lol which also let me know that she must be speaking with some type of romance scammers who are using information against her and it actually concerned me because I don’t know how much information she is sharing with these people and it genuinely freaks me out but Anyway it came to my attention she sent $500 to these scammers and it pissed me off and I confronted her about it. I advised her that she is more than likely involved with a scammer who is just using her for whatever they can get from her, the young billionaire prince is not real and it is a scammer. It also upset me because for years and years I paid my Nmoms bills and literally kept her off the streets and in turn kept my brother off the street since he would live with her for free at times. That was during the time I was still deep in the narcissist fog. Anyway I was upset she sent strangers $500 but won’t even offer to take me to lunch, go figure.
When I was bringing my concerns up to her that she is involved with a romance scammer she told me she knows what she’s doing and I should worry about having sex with a woman and making a baby instead of worrying about her. Of course this completely shocked and threw me off. Especially since my mom knows my sexual orientation and has known since I was in high school haha it was a typical narcissist distraction tactic. I personally don’t desire to have children of my own but it did hurt me because my life choices allowed for me to be able to afford paying her bills while my older brother who has 4 kids he doesn’t care for has done nothing for her and they’ve both mooched off me. Anyway the comment was so left field, I just had to hang up. I realized there is literally nothing I can do and truly need to stop caring because my mom is not right in the head, so rational conversations don’t go anywhere.
It all just makes me genuinely want to move out of state and just be so far away from them. Definitely need to go no contact again and try best to avoid flying monkeys.

Hi, pretty long post, just want to share my story as reading all of yours has helped me these last few weeks, f(28). After Thanksgiving 2021, so early-mid December (I was 26 at the time), I somehow herniated a disc. Before this happened, literally right before, I was hurting with what I think was a pulled lower back muscle (hurt to sit and lay down but pain was only in my back right side and rest helped, something I dealt with several times in my life starting in like 7th grade, drs always said it was a pulled muscle). After about a week it was feeling better so I decided it was safe to roll onto my right side to sleep. Well, after that I started experiencing pain all down that side, I also had some tingling and slight numbness in my foot and ankle. It was bad enough that I wasn't comfortable for more than 20 minutes, standing was the least painful, lucky to sleep 3 hours at once even though I'd wake up in horrible pain, basically always in tears from the pain and discomfort. I went to the dr after a few weeks and was told it's sciatica and he referred me for an mri, gave me some kind of shots and ibuprofen. I don't remember what the shots were but they took away all of the pain for 8-10 hours and I was able to get some much needed sleep. One may have been toradol but I got a shot of it the day of my mri so laying on my back during the scan wasn't too uncomfortable, and it didn't help much.
About 2 months after my symptoms started, I finally got the mri and it showed a decent sized herniation. I don't remember exactly where it was in my low back, but I was then referred to a neurologist who evaluated me and suggested ESI, he was fairly certain it would get better on it's own and I wouldn't need surgery, he said it may or may not decrease in size as well. The ESI worked as far as I can tell, but at this point it had been about 3-4 months of healing on my own using heat, stretches, and ibuprofen and the pain was mostly gone, lingering around a 2 at it's worst, but 0 after the ESI. The tingling in my foot and ankle had gone away and I was slowly getting back to normal. Aside from the occasional leg muscle cramps and discomfort laying on my right side, I had been pain and symptom free for about 2 years. I went on vacation in June last year, we did a lot of walking and even a steep hike. I worked for a year and a half in a dispensary, on my feet a lot as well as bending, squatting or leaning down, lifting heavyish totes. I had no pain or symptoms from this. I was hopeful that it had healed up and I was going to be perfectly fine, but I was still mindful of my back. I quit working last year in September to go back to school, since then I had been generally sitting or laying most of the time doing homework, of course I still helped around the house and went out to do stuff. I just wasn't moving nearly as much as when I was working. I had also gone on a trip to Seattle in September where we walked almost everywhere. Again, no pain or symptoms.
That takes me to earlier this year, about late February or early March. I was doing alright, then I noticed my hips feeling a little sore, starting in the left then later on the right, like a toothache or a pinching feeling in the sides and sometimes front. I felt it most when laying on them at first. It also felt sore when I pressed certain areas on the side. It felt like my thighs or hips were a bit unstable, if that makes sense. I did stretches, no difference. One night, during a shower, I leaned down to move a bottle on the floor and felt a very slight twinge in my lower back. Still no back pain or symptoms down either leg though. I also had been randomly waking up with pain and stiffness in my right foot and ankle that would go away after walking on it. Naturally, all this scared me and I started sleeping only on my back with a pillow under my knees, no longer sitting cross-legged or with my legs tucked beside me on the couch, making sure I wasn't slouching and getting up every hour to walk for a few minutes, generally trying to take care of my back. I'm also sitting to get dressed right after most showers because of my hips and I'm nervous my legs will give out. I made a dr appointment early April and he suggested PT for my hips, he wasn't worried about my back or doing any imaging.
I started PT April 15th. She evaluated my hips, had me do some stretches (most were laying down with my knees bent, putting pressure on my low back, I'm wondering if this caused my situation) and gave me stretches to do at home 2x day, appointments 2x week for a month. I should also mention during her evaluation she pressed on my lower back and it sucked, no pain down my legs, just under her hand. The stretches helped my hips for the first week, then my lower back started getting stiff and sore when I would lay down for a few hours or more. I mentioned this to my PT, but she didn't say anything. I kept up with the stretches (on a thick mat on the floor at home, or on my bed) and my lower back slowly got worse each day. Finally, after about 4 PT appointments and 2 weeks of stretches I quit doing them. My back was in quite a bit of pain, I started occasionally getting tingling and slight numbness down both sides in my lower calves and feet (sometimes together, sometimes either side) and it was painful to lay and sit longer than an hour. Made another dr appointment, he suggested it was my muscles and told me to ice, take ibuprofen, and gave me Diclofenac 1% gel, assuring me that PT wouldn't likely cause or worsen a herniation. I was with a different PT for the next appointment and she tried a TENS machine with a heating pad for the pain after I did some stretches that didn't seem to bother my back. I didn't notice any difference. That same night I went to the ER because I got up from a nap and the tingling and numbness wouldn't go away so it scared me. They gave me a steroid shot, a steroid pack, a few T3's and 325mg Tylenols as well as an MRI referral. I don't know if the steroids helped or just the overall more aggressive and earlier treatment this time, but my pain and symptoms (despite being on both sides, not just the right side) aren't nearly as bad as the first time, yet. I'm still uncomfortable and having a horrible time, but it's been manageable. Hopefully I don't feel any worse after being off the steroids for a while. I finished them last Thursday (May 9th) and I've been taking the 325mg Tylenol as needed, making sure to take 2 before bed, I took all the T3's as needed. PT since has been focused on pain management, deep heat ultrasound, TENS machine and heat, also k-tape which seems to provide a small difference.
Yesterday morning (the 13th) I woke up to my back feeling a little stiff and sore but I'd been trying a few stretches the last couple days, maybe that's what's causing it so I'm gonna stop for now. I'm sleeping alright, thankfully, naps as I need or can. As my back has gotten better, my hips haven't. There's still a pinching toothache type of feeling in the sides and front and my thighs still feel unstable while I walk sometimes. I can't lean back on the couch, sitting in the car is uncomfortable so I keep the seat up straight, laying down I still feel pressure in my low back but it's been bearable enough to sleep so far. I haven't tried walking for longer than an hour at a time, slowly and carefully, it doesn't bother my back so much as it does my hips. I lay down for a break during the day if I need it, though I try not to lay down too much. I get up and walk around a bit every hour or so and I help with housework when I can. I use ice or heat for 15 min when I feel like it. I try to go to bed only when I know I'm sleepy so I don't just lay there. I sit outside in the Sun and try to distract myself from the pain the best I can by doing whatever. But lately, being up straight most of the day has been making my upper back a little sore and sometimes I feel what might be spasms along my back (a tense pain that goes away after a few seconds to minutes) and some cramping sensations in my legs.
My MRI is scheduled for the 20th, I'm hoping with all my heart that it's nothing horrible. I've been keeping a log of my symptoms and writing down questions for if I go back to the neurologist (which I would like to). Again, I apologize for the super long post, I just hope this helps someone feel less alone and scared. I know I've been feeling pretty awful the last three weeks, I can't imagine how you who have worse pain feel. I have so much anxiety and fear about this and all the possibilities and it makes everything so difficult. I'm 28, almost 29, and with luck, I have 50-60 years of living left and there's so much I want to do, without anxiety of injuring my back or being in constant pain. This is one of the scariest things I've ever gone through because it seems like it can get complicated really fast and really easy, no warning. I'm not giving up hope that I'll be alright, but it's hard when you get worn down through the day and feel so many different scary symptoms. Hopefully they make some kind of medical advancement in the disc herniation department that truly helps the pain or at least effectively reduces reinjury chances.
TLDR: Sharing my story, had a lower back disc herniation in Dec 2021 causing horrible sciatica all down right side. Had ESI a few months later even though pain was minimal at that point, got better and was generally pain and symptom free for about 2 years. Symptoms came back after a few weeks of PT for unexplained hip pain, this time it's effecting both sides. Been dealing with it for about 3 weeks now with various treatments, MRI scheduled for the 20th.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/This_Musician7165 posting in TwoHotTakes
User account has since been deleted
Concluded as per OOP
2 updates - Medium
Original - 15th January 2024
Update in a comment - 16th January 2024
Final Update (Link no longer accessible)- 16th January 2024
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My Step Dad purposefully ruined my $900 prom dress by washing it! Is there anything I can do such as take legal?
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Edit: Sorry for some reason Reddit took my original post down. This is my first time using Reddit
’ve never posted on here, but I really need advice because I’m so distraught and have no clue what I should do I’m only 17 and don’t know if there’s any legal action I can take. So for a little background I live with my bio mom and her husband since my dad and mom separated and were never married. I originally lived with my dad since I was 2 he won custody during the custody battle. However he later lost custody of me after having a bad work accident that made him paralysed and he wouldn’t be able to take care of me but I still see him every weekend and the whole summer. I moved in with my mom and her husband and their two sons ,1 stepbrother and 1 half brother, when I was 10. And ever since then my stepdad basically directly and indirectly says that I’ve disrupted their lives by coming back into my mother’s life, because I’m an extra person they have to take care of.
I’ve been working since I was in 10th grade and saving up for my senior yeacollege since last year with the money from my job since my mom and her husband let me know that only my mom would only help me with the basics such as my graduation cap and gown, senior dues, and senior class photo. Anything else I would have to pay for myself such as prom.
I get paid about $400 every two weeks from my job which Ive been saving in full, and then making extra money doing nails about $100 a week plus tip which I use as my spending money. Since it’s my senior and last year of high school I’ve been wanting to go all out for prom so I set a $800 budget for my prom dress. My prom is in April and I wanted to get my prom dress early since most of the actual cute ones sell out quick. So I went prom dress shopping in December and found a beautiful dress that’s costed $890. It’s dark green with a long train with rhinestone imbedded into it with glitter in the dress.
When I first showed my mom and stepdad the dress they asked how much it was, which I told them the amount and my mom said that she wouldn’t be paying for a dress that expensive which I replied it’s okay because I have more than enough money saved up to buy it, and I’ll still have a lot of money left over (23k to be exact but only my mom knows that) mom said I could get the dress and that it was very pretty, however my stepdad said that it’s irresponsible and a waste of money and I should use it for better things like helping out the family and paying some of the bills. And get a dress cheaper that’s max $300. Mind you both his son’s own PS5 and multiple $200+ shoes.
Long story short my mom disagreed with him and I ended up getting the dress in the end and she even put $150 toward it.
However ever since then he constantly brings up that I help pay for things around the house since I have so much money to throw away but my mom always shuts it down saying that I work hard for my money to save it and I already help about with paying the Netflix, Amazon prime, and Hulu bills while my step brother (18) don’t pay anything.
Anyway last Saturday we got into a really big disagreement because my stepdad suggested I should help my step brother pay for his prom to which I responded with no. He later called me selfish and said that it’s not fair that I get an expensive outfit while he doesn’t. And I guess I said with in a snarky way I responded with that’s not my child or my problem. He later tried to complain to my mom and she said that I was right and that if anything he should pay for his own prom.
Well today when I woke up from a nap I noticed my prom dress was missing from my closet since it’s in the very front of my closet and looked around for it. I then asked my stepdad if he has seen it since my mother was at work. And he said he had, and in fact he was washing it, while giving me a condescending smile. I immediately ran downstairs and saw my dress being washed on the heavy duty cycle I immediately cancel it and it was ruined. Majority of my rhinestones came out and the glitter was washed out the whole dress had been mangled.
I took one look at it and then threw it a trash bag and left for my friends house with the dress. I texted my mom and sent her pictures but I’m currently at my friends house and laying on her bed. My friends parent hanged it outside to allow it to air dry so my stepdad can’t put the blame on them if the dried it in the dryer. What makes me know he did to spite me because he never washes clothes, cooks or anything since “he’s the man of the house so he shouldn’t have to”, so there was no viable reason he could have for washing it, even if it needed washing.
Is there anything I can do? I know neither of them can replace being they are tough financial situation? I’ll update you guys when mom gets home. So far my stepdad has called 2x but I haven’t answered him. And my mom’s at work and can’t receive calls.
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Comments
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Fancy_Association484
My heart hurts for you. Get him to admit it over text then file small claims court.

OOP: He’s not gonna admit I don’t think imma try to get audio but we also have cameras with audio imma try and use them when my mom gets off

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Rhodin265
I didn’t see this suggested, but since you’re paying for the streaming services, change your passwords and log out all devices. Giant toddlers don’t get their tanties rewarded with their stepkid’s Netflix.
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Fromashination
It would be a dastardly shame if Step Dad's favorite shoes were accidentally left on the porch in the snow all night.
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Update - 1 day later
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Edit 1:I don't know how to add updates so imma just add an edit but my mom and me just got off the phone and she's pissed and otw home. She's currently otw home so me and my friend and her dad are otw to my house and my mom said she was gonna call the cops as soon as she get off the phone so they may be there by the time I get there. We've taken pictures and the uncle (my mom brother) will be over there by 8 bc I contacted him while at work. I've listened to all your suggestions about withdrawing my money out of my account so I thinking and I talked to my dad about that as well and told me I can stay with him
Edit/Update 2:When I got home my friend stayed in the car while her dad walked me in, and my step dad was already gone. However police were at the house. As of now police said they can’t really arrest him because it’s not like he broke the law of stealing (I don’t know how to explain it basically this theft isn’t breaking the law bc he washed it and didn’t keep it) they suggested I can get a confession and get him to pay or take him to small claims court. Also the dress is non refundable if damaged so I can’t return it or anything. While explaining to my mom what happened I kinda fumbled my words and started crying and she hugged me as I cried. And she said that he’s gonna pay for this, this financial issue has actually been a on going disagreement and I think he just pulled the last straw bc she is PISSED. Also I talked to my uncle and he’s actually off work and over his way over here.
Him and my stepdad apparently have a rough history since my dad has had a smart mouth towards him in the past. While explaining to my uncle what happened he said that it would be alright and if anything he’ll buy back the dress before it sells out, so I’ll have my dress by prom but he does expect my step dad to pay me back one way or another so I’m basically probably gonna get my dress for free. Maybe that’s a little win. I’ll update more probably later tonight. But things seem to be good.
Edit: Also to clear up some confusion I pay the streaming service bills bc I really want to watch the shows on those services and my mom works hard but doesn’t make enough to have those services on top so I’ve offer to pay them so we could have them. She not a horrible “I’ll pick my husband over you” mother and she always defend me and he’s never pulled a stunt like this just tries to convince her to control my money and savings. And she’s never spent my saving either. I feel like thats why they always clash because he has a mindset of we have all these financial troubles and your daughter could solve them with her savings and you have access to them.
Edit/Update 4: Okay so my uncle came over and he and my mom had a little argument bc he blamed her for enabling my stepdads behaviour by not leaving him and thats why he felt comfortable to do what he did. And she argued back saying she always defended me against him and has never taken any of my money (which is true). We all talked about it a bit and she revealed that last night they had actually had a argument about paying off a car payment because she made a comment about how all these bills are taking a toll on her, and he made a comment about how it wouldn’t be that much of a toll if she used my savings and didn’t allow me to spend it on foolishness and she got mad and defensive bc he keeps bringing it up.
He also said that the $900 I spent could’ve payed off that car payment for the next 2 months. Btw he only know about my savings because he know how’s much I get paid and that I’ve been saving all of it. So we think that’s what triggered him to throw my dress in the washer.
My mom and stepdad has also been texting back and fourth and he admitted that he washed it to teach me a lesson that I shouldn’t spend that much money on a dress that can be destroyed that easily but he put the setting on heavy duty so he obviously intended to destroy it. My uncle has also offered to replace the dress so I don’t need to worry about not getting to wear my special dress. We called the boutique and explained it to them and they say they can order another dress although it won’t be there until Feb 23 which fine tbh.
My mother sent my step dad a long threatening message basically calling him out shes kinda heated rn so imma try and ask for a screenshot later. Her and my father also spoke and decided that it’d be best that I get my own bank account so that my step dad can’t use the excuse that she has access to my account so that’s also great. My mom and I had a talk about what gonna happen after this and she said shes not sure as of just yet bc it’s all a little too much for her bc she seriously contemplating leaving him, but i guess she don’t wanna actively discuss that right now. Also my stepdad is currently at a friends house. I’ll continue to update possibly may get one tomorrow. My friends parent are gonna keep the dress over their house and imma pick it up tomorrow to have as proof.
Edit:I apologise for not being to update since Reddit took down my post because of a “no walls text rule” that I was unaware of but it’s all good now
Edit/Update 5: My uncle has transferred me $1000 for my prom dress and I’m actually planning on using the money for replace the dress and buy new shoes. He’s very well off, which was one reason I contacted him in the first place.
So I plan on just calling the boutique and seeing if they can reorder it and I’ll just pick it up from there sometime in February. However my step-dad still must pay in some form, or at least we are trying to get him to. My uncle has called my other uncles and aunts (with my permission) to basically vent about the situation.
So majority of my mom side who all live in GA knows about what happened. I woke up to a lot of text about the situation given sympathy, as well as money to have for prom which have totalled to about $300. So this is great. My mom has also contacted my step-in-laws who then spread the news with pictures and I guess most of them are shocked as well other than his mother his is buying his claim that it’s just a dress and it was a accident despite evidence. I got a call from my step-dad sister sympathising for me.
And through conversations with I learned that my step-dad has also been asking a lot of his family to help him with his finances. Because for some reason the dude has bought so many things to pay off he can’t keep up with them.
My mom called my step-dad for answers which we recorded. And he’s basically trying to blame her bc if she didn’t piss him off last night then he wouldn’t have done it. And that he was trying to show me why I shouldn’t be irresponsible with money bc I guess he planned to lecture afterwards.
Also my mom has broken up with him bc he blamed her for caring more about me than him, which is weird. Which ensured in a argument with her saying “you think i care about her more than you, your gonna see just how much I do”
Also they’ve been on a rocky relationship since he can’t manage money and this was her breaking point.
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Comments
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TaffyAppl
Just saw this update!! Now that you have the text, please show the police as confession as destruction of property and/or take him to court to pay for it. It’s not fair to your uncle. Once you get your step dad to pay up, you can pay your uncle back. Girl Good luck!
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sherbear97124
What your step-dad did is called malicious mischief and is a crime. With the confessions and proof, there probably is a case. Just know that because of the monetary value, it's most likely just a misdemeanor charge. Regardless, you definitely have a small claims case against him. Sadly, by the sounds of his financial affairs, you'll be lucky if he ever pays, but it's still worth pursuing. Good luck!
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Update - same day later
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Edit/Update 6: Sorry to post on here Reddit keep telling me to try again later so sorry again
Okay so a lot of bs has transpired. Firstly we’ve place an order for my dress, and they are shipping it now and it should be at the boutique by Feb 23 so all that is taken care of. My SD and mom are officially broken up and my mom said she doesn’t now if she’ll move on with divorce proceedings yet bc everything is still fresh and lawyer are expensive and she can’t afford it rn.
Also they have a prenup so they don’t share assent and the house is my mother dad house she inherited (she had a different dad than all her siblings and all her siblings share a dad).
So my step father showed back up with his brother after a while and my step father decided to do and buy me a new dress from Macy that looks similar to dress in color and length but it’s very tacky and ugly. And look nothing like the original.
He then tried to apologise and said it wasn’t his intention to ruin the dress. he said that he was simply gonna wash it and say “see this is why you don’t buy things like this” and then he would’ve bought me another dress…. But that’s make absolutely no sense.
Also my uncle came back to my house after I texted him my step dad came back (he was at the store) and they got into a big argument where basically my uncle demanded to know why he destroyed the dress
And my step dad said he not gonna walk up in his house demanding shit, and my uncle called him a bitch. And then my SD said to call him a bitch again which he did and they ended up fighting. (My SD lost) he threatened to call the cops but we reminded him that he swung first
After that my step dad went on a tirade and cussed us out and left and took the dress with him.
We are actually planning on taking y’all advice and taking him to small claims court given the evidence and the damage. And hopefully we win. Also my SD is staying at his parents house currently.
Lastly for all curious about my brothers they are 15 (half) and 18 (step) .The 15 was at his girlfriend house since Friday so he wasn’t home for any of the commotion but did reach out to me today, I love him so much. And the 18 year basically sided with his dad so that all there is to say.
Also those who suggested changing the streaming’s passwords I have change them. And me and my mom are gonna get me my own bank account later today. Thank you guys for all the support I’ll continue to update as thing come and our plans of action and the verdict and all
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Comments
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

I (23F) have been chronicly lonely for about 9 years. My parents (who were drug addicts) withdrew me from school when I was 14 and didnt allow me to leave the house or have any friends. When I turned 18, I met my husband on Facebook through mutual friends. After about a month of dating, my mother said I broke the "rules" (idek what she was referring to, she has had mental problems my whole life) and she kicked me out. I was forced to live with my then boyfriend now husband, he is a good guy but we hardly knew each other. Fast forward to now, 5 years later, and I still dont have a car and I cant ever leave by myself since my husband uses his car to go to work, hang out with his friend, etc. The loneliness is killing me and Im not sure what to do. I have tried to find friends online through groups or different apps but I have had no luck at all. Does anyone have any advice?
( also I do attend college online and I work on my laptop making just enough to cover my half of the bills but neither of those outlets really allow me to have one on one connections with anyone.)
EDIT: Wow, after only 45 minutes up, I already have a few messages from people with helpful advice and kind messages! I have to admit, I was very embarrassed to post this but I am happy I did now. Thank you everyone, I can't convey how much it means to me.

Sorry for this but this is a long one. I don’t understand something that happened recently and need help understanding this. For the past 3 years, I’ve been playing a game pretty regularly. I’m not mentioning it here because it’s not important. Just know it’s a pvpve open world sandbox style thing with nothing except money being saved between sessions and artificial and natural PvP modes. It does not matter what happens since you come back as you started the next time you log in. In the last year, someone (15m but same grade) from the school I go to found out I play that game and started playing it with me. We have done a lot in that time including getting some pretty rare cosmetics that take a long time to get. These cosmetics are specifically pvp focused meaning I’ve gotten pretty good at it these past 5-7 months. Once we did that, he wanted to keep doing the artificial pvp mode whereas I wanted to get back into the natural mode of it. It started an argument and we both took a long break from it. Around a week ago, we started playing the game again. He recently invited me to a discord server with other classmates who he knows since some were buying the game. I joined and was having fun talking with those people just trying to be likeable. A running joke in the server involves one person being banned for pointless reasons such as no saying a certain word or humming in the vc. I was having an okay time when I looked back in one of the channels and saw the discussion that involved whether I should be invited or not. The initial question was asked by my “friend” saying I was “chill now”. This was countered by two people saying how they had nothing against me but thought I was weird. I brought it up in a playful manner and the people who responded said they were sorry and didn’t know I was no longer friends with another weird person (we had hung out together since 1st grade and fell apart at the end of 7th grade). Looking back I should have been more concerned but I didn’t want to cause an altercation and get banned. I don’t think of myself as weird, maybe socially awkward at times but I think this interaction shows how I generally try and be nice to people at most times. Just today, me, my friend, and the two other people who got the game all got on together. We spotted a group of enemy players and went to go fight them since our group was double their size. We stayed there for a bit, me and my friend being more experienced spawn camping them a bit, before we sent them back to ground zero. We both died on accident when they got the upper hand on us and eventually my friend wanted to team up with them. I didn’t want to do this as teaming up with other groups like this is incredibly boring. He made fun of me to the other people in the call saying I was trying to be like a streamer he introduced me to. This wasn’t true although that streamer could have influenced some of my actions towards other players. We kept gong when I said a cringe thing and got kicked from the vc. I rejoined but was immediately met with a perma ban to which I responded by sabotaging my group as a joke. This wouldn’t have cost them anything since they were going to get off before any progress was made anyways and I thought it would be a funny thing to do. When I did that, they locked me in a jail cell before team killing me a couple times which ended in my “friend” stating, “you have no friends, this is the last time you will see us in a group together”. This really hurt me as after seeing the other comments, I felt I had to fit in as much as I could with these people. I never perceived as though I did something really horribly wrong so I messaged him later asking why he banned me, again, light heartedly. He said I was being an a** and trying to pin the blame on me. According to him, he kicked me, then I sabotaged, to which he banned and jailed me. I don’t think it happened in this sequence at all. I was still trying to be friendly with him and apologized to which he said we could play together again but I wasn’t going to be unbanned from the server. I don’t understand why he and the other people in this group share the same animosity towards me and this seems to be a large consensus towards my personality. I can’t understand if I’m the problem and I am weird or if I’m being manipulated by these people. This group is less of the issue moreover is the fact that they felt this way and if there’s something I can do to fix my image. I’m fairly average in everything physical and excel mentally and I try to be friendly and helpful to everyone. I can’t understand why people feel this way. Can someone help me out?

Please let me know how this sounds 💚 I am terrible with words and terrified of public speaking sooooo I need it to sound good while I try not to pass out as I give this speech 💀
-Hello everyone! Thank you all for joining us to celebrate these two amazing individuals. Bride, you look absolutely stunning, and groom, you clean up quite nicely too!

• I know a good portion of you here with us tonight but for those I don’t know, hi my name is MOH.
  
• I met Groom and Bride in high school through mutual friends. While I hung out with bride occasionally and bumped into groom in group settings, it wasn't until a few years later that bride and I would become close.
  
• bride, It's difficult to put into words just how grateful I am for you, but ill give it my best shot. Thank you for loving me for who I am, even though I'm a bit bullheaded and stubborn. You’re the person I call when I have exciting news to share or need to vent after a tough day. I know my deepest secrets are safe with you and you’ll give me the advice I need, even when it's tough to hear. Thank you for loving my children as your own, even if they are little wild. I can never thank you enough for always being around to support me during those dark days after I had child’s name.. I don’t know how I would of made it these last 9 years with out you. While life has taken us down different paths, we have always made the best effort to keep our friendship as close as possible. Naps on the couch with the dogs and all day hangouts have turned into trips to the zoo and hour long phone calls on your drive home and even longer when you commuted for school. Just know we can never stop our wild days on the boat and ice cream runs to ___, those keep us both somewhat sane. Bride you are kind and loving, genuine to the core and never afraid to speak your mind. You are truly amazing inside and out and i’m so glad I to call you my best friend.
  
• Groom, I was unsure if we would become friends in the beginning of you and bride’s relationship. You would walk in the door without saying a word, heading straight for the computer room. Now when you walk in, you almost always have some smack to talk, so id say we’ve come a long way. You’re not the type to write some mushy Facebook post professing your love for bride, and If you did, I'd probably think you've hit your head... But words aren’t necessary to see how much you adore her. The way your face lights up when you look at her says it all. Your love for her is unconditional. Thank you for loving bride exactly as she is, for always standing by her as her biggest supporter, and for filling her days with laughter and joy. Even if that means occasionally pushing her buttons just to get a rise out of her. I could not imagine a more perfect person to be her husband.
  
• Mr. And Mrs. XXXX! I have been dying to say that all day. Thank you for allowing the kids and I to be a part of your special day. May your love continue to grow stronger with each passing day, and may your journey together be filled with laughter, joy, and endless blessings. Here's to a lifetime of happiness and cherished memories. Congratulations, Groom and Bride, I love you both. Cheers!!
  

Please let me know how this sounds 💚 I am terrible with words and terrified of public speaking sooooo I need it to sound good while I try not to pass out as I give this speech 💀
-Hello everyone! Thank you all for joining us to celebrate these two amazing individuals. Bride, you look absolutely stunning, and groom, you clean up quite nicely too!

• I know a good portion of you here with us tonight but for those I don’t know, hi my name is MOH.
  
• I met Groom and Bride in high school through mutual friends. While I hung out with bride occasionally and bumped into groom in group settings, it wasn't until a few years later that bride and I would become close.
  
• bride, It's difficult to put into words just how grateful I am for you, but ill give it my best shot. Thank you for loving me for who I am, even though I'm a bit bullheaded and stubborn. You’re the person I call when I have exciting news to share or need to vent after a tough day. I know my deepest secrets are safe with you and you’ll give me the advice I need, even when it's tough to hear. Thank you for loving my children as your own, even if they are little wild. I can never thank you enough for always being around to support me during those dark days after I had child’s name.. I don’t know how I would of made it these last 9 years with out you. While life has taken us down different paths, we have always made the best effort to keep our friendship as close as possible. Naps on the couch with the dogs and all day hangouts have turned into trips to the zoo and hour long phone calls on your drive home and even longer when you commuted for school. Just know we can never stop our wild days on the boat and ice cream runs to ___, those keep us both somewhat sane. Bride you are kind and loving, genuine to the core and never afraid to speak your mind. You are truly amazing inside and out and i’m so glad I to call you my best friend.
  
• Groom, I was unsure if we would become friends in the beginning of you and bride’s relationship. You would walk in the door without saying a word, heading straight for the computer room. Now when you walk in, you almost always have some smack to talk, so id say we’ve come a long way. You’re not the type to write some mushy Facebook post professing your love for bride, and If you did, I'd probably think you've hit your head... But words aren’t necessary to see how much you adore her. The way your face lights up when you look at her says it all. Your love for her is unconditional. Thank you for loving bride exactly as she is, for always standing by her as her biggest supporter, and for filling her days with laughter and joy. Even if that means occasionally pushing her buttons just to get a rise out of her. I could not imagine a more perfect person to be her husband.
  
• Mr. And Mrs. XXXX! I have been dying to say that all day. Thank you for allowing the kids and I to be a part of your special day. May your love continue to grow stronger with each passing day, and may your journey together be filled with laughter, joy, and endless blessings. Here's to a lifetime of happiness and cherished memories. Congratulations, Groom and Bride, I love you both. Cheers!!
  

Social Media and smartphones are warping how we see the real world and our reality is losing nuance rapidly.
Take the man or bear debate as a recent example. The whole premise is unhelpful and based on a glaring falsehood. It's like a 13-year-old's first essay on a topic they know next to nothing about. I'm pretty sure actual survivors of sexual abuse don't give a single damn about this "dilemma". They have real issues to deal with that those of us who are engaging in this discourse have the privilege of not having to deal with. All this fad is doing is spread the paranoid notion that there are male predators waiting around every other corner. How is that helping survivors of abuse with real trauma and fears that they carry with them in public places on a daily basis? It is absolutely not a show of solidarity to those who have actually suffered, yet people do genuinely believe they are "raising awareness", or "taking a stand".
I mean it's a far-less improbable yet ironic scenario to imagine someone walking the dim city streets at night alone with their necks bent square over their smartphones, going round corners oblivious to their surroundings while texting "I'll take the bear lol". Those same people will say they're afraid to walk alone at night and they yeard for the bear. I made that scenario up, but I've literally seen people bumping into walls and into other people in a smart phone-induced trance and just continuing like nothing happened and I've also seen people gleefully (not ruefully) opt for "the bear". What I mean is a lot of people are claiming to be terrified when they're not.
Like with the Tik-tok trend that's been dangerously telling people they have "high-functioning anxiety" without professional diagnoses, where if everyone is mentally ill then no one is mentally ill¹, it also stands to reason that if everyone is afraid, then no one is afraid. It's a dangerous way of "showing solidarity" to let pervade through society. I'm no Jordan Peterson fan, but this is a good example of the dangers of fake solidarity*. It's not just fake; it's damaging.
The whole bear vs man thing just seems to polarise people into two camps who perceive the other either as man-haters or rape-apologists. But you know what? it's not even close to being real and does absolutely nothing to bring people of differing views any closer to understanding each other. I also 100% guarantee you that those who "choose the bear" don't actually practise what they preach in their lives to even the slightest degree. One example I witnessed was at a recent social occasion where a female high school teacher whom I know quite well told her boyfriend and father to ask her if she was alone in the woods, what she would prefer... Before she even said the words "bear", or "man", I knew where where we were heading and intuitively knew what her answer was going to be.
It wasn't a debate from the very beginning. It was more like a joke - a weird joke about sexual assault told in the first person. Before she'd even got to her supposedly mind-blowing punchline (which was, in case you're a bit late to this party, "I'd choose the bear because the bear won't rape me!"), everyone seemed to know what it was going to be. Given the expectant grin on her face when she said these impactful words, It didn't turn out to be the “gotcha” she thought it was going to be. This was quite an awkward experience. I can only guess that the "gotcha" aimed at the men in the room was supposed to educate them to be ashamed to be male on the spot. It didn’t. I explained why I thought the whole thing was flawed and I was informed I needed to lighten up. I was definitely mistaken in thinking that it was a chance to talk philosophy (is it ever these days?), but perpetuating the idea that "male rapists are everywhere" while simultaneously trivialising real suffering of abuse goes completely unchecked because when we engage in this form of discourse we reduce ourselves to vacuous, infantile creatures who ironically think they're acting like fully-developed adults. Rape is light-hearted; yet - and this is where the cognitive disonance gets really odd - you're either standing up for it or you're standing up against it, but no matter what side you're on, it's funny. Instead of thinking, "why is she grinning?!", we're thinking, "what side am I on and how can I also somehow make it funny?". When in reality, it's surface-level shock-value statements with zero nuance that we allow to insincerely represent us (the wide-grinning rape denouncer doesn't practise what she preaches: she isn't a raging man-hater; she's a decent person, but for some reason, she's adopted an inane comic-strip view on something as serious as rape - and incredibly, it's all in the defence of victims!).
And this way of engaging in discourse is everywhere. On Reddit, Facebook, Twitter etc., the finger-pointing and artificial coralling of all of us into fake dualities of misogynist vs virgin-for-life simp, misandrist vs patriachy-enabler, racist vs communist and many others are rife and it's finding its way into real-life discourse at the dinner table, the classroom and the office.
If we artificially and insincerely self-separate into these 1s and 0s, are we making it easier for the A.I. on our devices to "understand" us, classify us, manipulate us and ultimately annihilate us?
OK, maybe I went too far there, but is this jarring lack of nuance really the only way we want to "talk about" serious topics now? Is it only going to get worse? I feel like it wasn't long ago you could have real discussions about issues, but this art is dying - and rapidly. You can probably sense my frustration at how society is organising itself right now and I'd love to know if anyone has any suggestions on what we can do to encourage healthy conversations and debate with each other. Maybe I'm the problem. I used to be surrounded by people who took part in stimulating, nuanced debate and now I'm not. We used to tolerate different viewpoints and we didn't confront and "block" each other on a hair-trigger. Maybe I'm old and the kids are actually all right. Let me know.
¹ ~https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5MCw8446gs&ab_channel=TheNewYorkTimes~
*I couldn't find a good quote for this, but similarly, he terms it "narcissistic compassion"