Goodnight text messages for boyfriend

I’m going to go in order, but for starters, I’m F21, and I’ll go by Evie.
When I was 11, I had a friend, we’ll call her Katherine. One day, we got into a huge fight and stopped talking. Me, being immature, I decided to make burnefake social media accounts to try and talk to her as different people. As I portrayed these “different people,” I would text her and ask her “Oh yeah, I went to that school a few years before you did. Do you know this girl named Evie by any chance? We were good friends, I didn’t get a chance to make friends with other people. She was so nice.” Eventually, Katherine found out about all these fake accounts I made, didn’t say anything and just blocked me. On New Year’s Eve 2022, I rejoined Instagram after deleting my account for a personal break, and I saw her account on my explore page. I reached out to her and told her that I was so sorry for all the hell I put her through, that the “I was 12 and stupid” excuse is no excuse at all, and I will hold myself accountable for my wrongdoings. I wanted to talk to her, deeply, one-on-one. We didn’t have to become friends or anything, I just wanted to clear the air and make amends. To my surprise, she blocked me. Happy New Year’s to me, I guess.
When I was 13, I met this girl online, we’ll call her Nichole. We met randomly through a One Direction group chat on Kik and became best friends, we talked every single day for 2 years. Just like Katherine, I wanted to make another account and text Nichole, ask her about me since “I talk about her all the time,” and see what she would say about me in return. Like Katherine, Nichole found out eventually, sent me a super long message on Kik. She was so angry, and blocked me on every single social media. I’ve tried to reach out to her about a year or two later, and she never answered. But last year, her Facebook popped up. I took this as a chance, and sent her a really long, remorseful text. I told her how deeply sorry I was, how I should have never hurt her and betrayed her trust the way I did, that she meant the absolute world to me. I wanted to be the bigger person, an adult if you will, and handle things the right way. I felt a deeper sorrow for Nichole than I did with Katherine for some reason, and I was truly trying to make things right. The text was so long that I had to break it into three paragraphs. I waited and waited, and I saw that her profile disappeared. I thought maybe she deleted her account, but it turns out she blocked me. I took this incredibly hard.
Then, when I was 15, I met this guy, we’ll call him Luke. We met randomly through Omegle, and moved things to Kik and Snapchat. I deeply felt connected to him, we both really, really liked each other. But I knew that having such a big crush on each other would be impossible because he lives in another country. We both went through a lot together, I was there when he attempted to commit suicide himself, and he told me about how he was sexually assaulted twice in his life. But he told me that I was helping him to stay and make it through another day. One day as I was doing one of those “ask me anything” things on Snapchat, someone asked me if I had a boyfriend. I mean, I knew I liked Luke so much, but like I said, it’s not like we physically could’ve been together, so I said I didn’t have a boyfriend. Before I knew it, Luke blocked me, which I’m presuming because I said I don’t have a boyfriend. He blocked me on Snapchat, Instagram, and he deactivated his Kik. But as I said before, I made a new Instagram. I finally remembered his Instagram and tried to reach out to him. I wanted to get back in touch, I wanted to know why he blocked me. I want to know why we stopped talking all of a sudden. All of the memories we made, digitally, were somehow gone. Like I was nothing. I sent him a message, I told him how I think about him more than I should, and I just wanted an explanation. I don’t care what happened between us, all I wanted was to have Luke back in my life. I waited and waited all day to see if he would answer, while occasionally looking at his Instagram story. It was so good to see a picture of him on his story, smiling. I missed him so much and was just relieved to know he was alive. The next day that evening, which was last night, I checked to see if he would answer. But knowing my luck, he blocked me.
I feel so stupid and pathetic, man. I want to make things right, I want to apologize for those I done wrong. It wasn’t easy to admit my careless idiotic mistakes. It wasn’t easy to reach out to these people. It wasn’t easy to hold myself accountable for catfishing Katherine and Nichole. It wasn’t easy to think I’ve done something wrong to Luke for him to block me completely out of nowhere. This guilt, even though I am 21 now, eats me up. I’ve ruined and damaged friendships and relationships that meant so much to me.
And I’ll never be able to get them back. But then again, it’s nobody’s fault but my own.

My name is Alexander, hello. Hi. You should totally message me. Here’s why:
I will play video games with you, watch anime (or not, we could also just watch your favorite show), talk to you for hours about anything and everything, voice chat or via text, with open ears whenever you want to talk shit about your coworkers or really anybody in your life, and debate what the best type of apple is with you (it’s green apples, fight me).
If you’re interested in getting to know each other on a deeper level and are open to potentially growing something where we talk regularly, especially when the days are getting a little too lonely and monotonous, I’m your guy. If you’re a bit of a dork, you’re in great company with me. If not, feel free to make fun of me for my own dorkiness instead. I don’t care where you live, but you should tell me all about your favorite spots.
So about earlier. You should totally message me. I look forward to it :)

My name is Alexander, hello. Hi. You should totally message me. Here’s why:
I will play video games with you, watch anime (or not, we could also just watch your favorite show), talk to you for hours about anything and everything, voice chat or via text, with open ears whenever you want to talk shit about your coworkers or really anybody in your life, and debate what the best type of apple is with you (it’s green apples, fight me).
If you’re interested in getting to know each other on a deeper level and are open to potentially growing something where we talk regularly, especially when the days are getting a little too lonely and monotonous, I’m your guy. If you’re a bit of a dork, you’re in great company with me. If not, feel free to make fun of me for my own dorkiness instead. I don’t care where you live, but you should tell me all about your favorite spots.
So about earlier. You should totally message me. I look forward to it :)

i didn’t reply to a message for a few hours one day, because i am busy. i was aware i had a message, but i didn’t have the time or energy to reply. he replied to his own texts a while later and said “aight” i messaged back and then i got left on seen. FOR FOUR DAYS. and he is saying i’m the one who forgot about him. i have a LIFE and cannot reply to everyone’s texts constantly and i’m also going through some shit and don’t have any energy to speak to anyone. NOBODy gets that. IM the bad guy for having a life, and for not texting him in the four days HE legt ME on seen. people always get mad at me for not replying but i genuinely just don’t have the energy to reply to texts of people who don’t even like me in the first place. i am SO done with people. genuinely.

Hello. I don’t actually know what to do now. I just want to share what is inside my chest because i don’t really have someone to tell what i am going through.
April - a whole week of nonstop working. I only have a maximum of 3 hours of sleep daily (for that whole week). Basically, 8am - 4am. Yes! That’s right. I was new and the responsibility was really big. For that week i felt so alone in the office. I was being threatened like if i were to make mistakes on the documents our head would tell that the owner of the company will shut down our houses and every time i ask for help they won’t answer me. Those things drained me that i only wanted to cry. The lack of sleep and the way they treat me was draining me. Then saturday on that same week i decided to stay in bed because i still want to sleep from that 4am out that same day. I went AWOL’ed. They were mad at me and i heard that they were saying bad words and cussing me while im out of the office. I don’t know what i did to offend them aside from leaving because it really felt personal to me. I was not really into socializing but i tolerated their nonsense until one time one of my coworkers nonsense was not funny anymore and keeps on bugging me. I ignored him. Then every time i go home at 8pm he’s looking at me like i did a crime. We don’t even have overtime on those days. He was so childish that if he’ll make fun of you it’s fine but if you’ll do the same to him he’ll get offended. I ignored him totally that every time i ask question about the work or task he will snob me and raise his hand on my face saying wait or don’t talk. I noticed how it was different from my other 2 coworker. He was being so nice to them but not with me. Those things affected me that i don’t wanna go to office anymore even though i needed the job and i don’t even know why that saturday i did not make an effort to prepare when i was already up but still in bed.
On that same saturday, midnight. I couldn’t sleep. I was so bothered by something. So i checked my boyfriend messenger and found some thing that made my world fall apart. I saw him chatting with other girls just recent having nudes from them i saw the pictures too. I was heartbroken. I was betrayed. I was damaged. I was mad. Now that doubled the misery. Was miserable.
I was not a controlling girlfriend. I don’t check phones. I trusted him. I thought i was special. I thought he loved me but it turns out he only love the presence and comfort i am giving him. How can you love those but not person though? It made me so insecure about my body. I am skinny and trying to gain weight but its really hard. I have small boob almost none. I have so many hyperpigmentation. I cannot fix those immediately but it does not mean i did not try. I am trying to fix those even for myself but i really couldn’t. Some of ways are not really effective. I am not his type really. He wanted someone masculine fem and i am not that.
Those damage made me sleep for days and weeks. I couldn’t eat nor bath. I was trying but its just heavy. Those messages i had read was playing in my head nonstop. I was crying for days and weeks. It hurts. Still hurts. I don’t how could ever recover to this. It made me misrable. It made me so insecure. It made me question my worth. It made me feels so small. It made me look all the things that is lacking to me.
You know what is the most worst response i heard was from his brother. He told me “atleast he’s going home to you” wtf???
It’s crazy. I am going crazy.

I've 25F been seeing someone from work Andrew 43M for a few months now. We connected quite quickly and the tension was always so high at work until finally we started seeing each other romantically outside of work.
He always has been so caring and genuine. Super supportive of all my hobbies, never once made me feel like he wanted to tie me down or keep me from doing what I want to do. I know its stupid but when he would tell me how shocked he was that he found such an intense connection with me I actually believed him. Sue me for being a romantic. I guess part of me wanted to believe that someone could actually love me for me. Doesn't everyone?
After about 2 or 3 months of bliss, Andrew was heading on a six week long overseas holiday that he had planned before we got together. We spent as much time as we could together before he left, and he told me how weird it was having someone that he was going to miss, as he hasnt been in a relationship for a good while and didn't expect to be in one any time soon. (Although we have not yet labelled our relationship).
Mid way through his holiday, I find out from some unrelated tests that I have chlamydia. I had it with a previous partner and I had gotten antibiotics and a follow up test and had gotten cleared for it. As it turns out my previous partner had only gotten antibiotics and not gotten a follow up test, so he had given it back to me unknowingly. I take responsibility for not being thorough enough with this, as I should have gotten tested again after I stopped seeing that partner.
I thought to myself, yes this is a shit situation, but Andrew has always been so caring and understanding, I'm sure after I explain it to him that this will be okay, especially since its a very easy STI to treat. Once I told him, he said he was disappointed. That he had never had an STI and thought he would never get one. He seemed very upset and told me he was going to rest and to look after myself.
Two days later I messaged him to ask if he was upset with me and that I missed him. He sent a paragraph in response explaining how upset he was and that he didn't want to have this conversation over text and that he wanted to enjoy the rest of his holiday, which was a week and a half left. So I didn't message him again.
The day he landed back home he messaged me asking to catch up. We got coffee and I said I was upset that he had ignored me. He explained that he had really bad symptoms as well as being sick with something unrelated and that he was just processing the situation. He apologised for not telling me he needed space, and that he still needs some time, as he has other things going on too. He also said he didn't blame me at all for the STI, it was his responsibility and its just a big deal for him. He was very sincere in person, and I understand his side too, I'm not angry with him. But I can't help to be upset that this seems to have ruined what we had.
I care about him so much and I don't want to lose him, so I want to respect his need for space. But on the other hand it's hard to not feel as though he will only care for me when things are easy, and as soon as it becomes uncomfortable or hard he will push me away.
Unsure if I should wait this out and see if he wants to make it work, or do I cut it off now and just try my best to move on?

I wound up seeing someone after my break up. However, im afraid that im suffering from the phantom ex syndrome. As much as i am grateful to have someone who adores me and worships the ground i walk on while i’m in a dark place, on the inside i feel like he’s just a consolation prize rather than a trophy (i know thats fucked up but hey, this is anonymous right?).
. It’s just harder to start over with someone who you didn’t spend your golden years with. Nostalgia is one hell of a drug and i am hitting it HARD. Especially because i feel like it was a cruel twist of fate that broke us up. i don’t know what to do with all that bitterness. I don’t want to take it out on my new boyfriend, but i don’t deserve to suffer alone either. I think i deserve companionship and i can’t waste time cuz yeah i spent my whole youth with someone special and time doesn’t stop. I know people will say im still young, but when you’re a girl, you have a biological clock and BOY can i hear it ticking.
This is super selfish of me, but i’ve been selfless all my life and it never got me anywhere. I have to admit I’ve started following the mentality that you should find a man who loves you more than you love him because it keeps you safe by giving you the upper hand…yikes. It was so equal with my ex, lets call him dan. we would fight over who loved the other more and sometimes i believed him, sometimes he believed me, it was reciprocal. Now with the new guy (jay) im just soaking it up to nurse my wounds. I feel guilty about it but there isnt anything else to do. I cant expect to meet a 30 year old version of my ex. I have to take time till im open to loving someone new as they are.
I’ll just try to focus on the great qualities this new guys has. He remembers every little thing i say, buys me gifts, makes me his top priority, doesn’t have instagram or snapchat, is super grateful for every ounce of affection i give him (which i haven’t given him very much btw), he has great hair, he is emotionally available (which is just WOW), he has been alone for a long time so he really truly appreciates me and any attention i give him, The first time he came over he let me fall asleep on the couch to the sound of him telling me how wonderful and beautiful i am and didn’t expect any intimacy in return, he takes care of his elderly mother. he has a good job, he dotes on me like a princess, he is quite romantic actually and he is able to say the swoon-worthy things every girl wants to hear, he genuinely cares about me as a person, he is patient,
So whats wring with him? Well….im ashamed to admit it but im not physically attracted to him. I’ve been with conventionally unattractive boys in my youth, and it never bothered me before. However, dan was both supermodel gorgeous AND my soul mate….sooo he’s pretty damn hard to compete with right? Let’s be honest, i cant expect to find another perfect 10 who has all the qualities this new guy has or i’ll end up ALONE. I better knock some sense into myself and appreciate him, despite the lack of attraction. I’m 27, I gotta be realistic right? It’s hard because if i have sexual fantasies, then i’ll be thinking of dan. If i watch porn i’ll be looking at guys who look exactly like my ex and i’ll start feeling nostalgic about the best years of my life. So i’m trying no/fap and celibacy to try and undo my sexual circuitry. Hopefully this helps me broaden my horizons in terms of what i find attractive?
I know people will say that he deserves someone who is attracted to him. But i think we need to address the elephant in the room. Not everyone is good looking, but everyone deserves love. As you get older, this becomes more and more common because both men and women become less attractive as they age. And yes, the average woman will say that only 20-10% of men are good looking. It doesn’t matter how much money he makes, women will find certain things aesthetically pleasing.
This new guy has a rather sad relationship history. About 10 years ago, he had a long distance relationship with a girl. After months of talking, they decide to meet up. She texts him that she’s super excited to see him….then he shows up to her house. she is stone cold to him. She refuses to hug or kiss him or be affectionate at all. After a week of solid awkwardness she admits that she is not attracted to him and just wants to be friends…like bro this poor guy FLEW OUT to get friendzoned. And since then he has only had mediocre half baked short term relationships with women who just seem to want free dinners. When he told me all this, i felt that i must protect him at all costs. And now look at me, dreaming about my ex every night like a homesick puppy. I feel guilty, but i do care about him and i think we could be great together in time. I worry that im a bad person, but i stuck to the Ten Commandments all my life and i feel like my life is a living hell designed just for me(sorry Jesus, i still love you).
I think I’m emotionally attracted to him because of how lonely he had been. Loneliness makes you appreciate people more, and long stretches of loneliness seems to make people more ready to have deep connections. I think i find it attractive because i can relate to his loneliness and his insecurity. I like that he needs reassurance sometimes because im used to being the one who asks for it. Every now and then, at certain angles the light hits him just right and he looks pretty good. No one is perfect and just because im well aware that my beauty will fade in time.
I’ve done everything i can to make myself beautiful. I spent 15k on a bbl, spend hundreds on skincare, i use sunscreen neurotically, and work out frequently and use creatine to make myself as “slim thick” as my genetics allow. The funny thing is, i never expected to be with a guy as hot as my ex, i just wanted to be the hot one. And now that i have grown accustomed to that I’m totally spoiled rotten. He was my dream boy. Even when i have wet dreams, i imagine dan because even the darkest recesses of my subconscious mind agrees that he is the sexiest man alive. Tmi but i could worship his body all day and never get bored. I was with him for almost 5 years and i only fantasized about him. I never strayed even mentally.
When i was with my ex i would find it so so cute and endearing when he would gain weight/get acne/a bad haircut/ etc because i truly envisioned growing old together and i hence envisioned a hot grandpa/ hot dad-bod version of him ALL THE TIME. Even if my ex became morbidly obese i would worship his cock, so WHY am i so bothered by the fact that this new guy is a little chubby? I would kiss my ex before he brushed his teeth in the morning so why do i hate the way jay smells so much?
I am developing feelings for this new guy, it just isn’t that honeymoon phase i typically expect. He deserves soooo much more than what he has gotten. I feel like he has only seen the worst side of me. he is utterly infatuated with me despite the fact that i’m a shadow of who I once was. He comforts me when im too sad to speak .He is patiently waiting for me to open up to him. This makes me think that if i stay with him for a few months and get over my ex, then we will have the ideal relationship. It might even be better than what i had with my ex, atleast on an emotional and intellectual level. I just have to let go of the attachment and lust i have for my ex….but
The shitty thing is, i’ve been in jays shoes. My very first boyfriend was an older guy who was in love with the “phantom ex” who he spent his golden age with. Lets call him manny. His heartbreak was so deep that he fell into suicidal ideation (and a heroin addiction). I spent a whole year feeling inadequate, like i could never live up to this pink haired angel he traveled the world with. I have to make SURE i don’t drag jay through that hell because he is a good person. So how can i force myself to be affectionate towards him? Do i just dive in and force myself to be intimate with him to rip the bandaid off? Do i just focus on his good qualities and idealize him in my mind till the attraction grows? I cant use alcohol, tried that and wound up crying about my ex instead of hooking up with the new guy like i planned.
Lets think about what manny did wrong so i can avoid repeating the cycle. He talked about his ex constantly. I’ve been very good about not talking about mine. Heeee used heroin. Luckily Im not THAT self destructive. He dismissed my emotions and invalidated me at every turn. I definitely wont be doing that. He tried to convince me i was crazy and literally mentally unwell. Im definitely not doing that. He picked out my every flaw……okay well atleast i’m not vocalizing it when i notice the new guys flaws.
I remember the way manny frustrated me. I would say things like “it’s never too late to open yourself up to new love, and new memories”. I would let him be sad about his ex and hold space for him, but the more compassion i showed the more he would say “you could never understand what it’s like to spend your life with someone and have them leave”. Now i get it. It’s the nostalgia, the way we romanticize the past. It’s even better in our minds when we reimagine it. It makes you feel foolish for not enjoying the moment more. I woukd always look at manny anf say , just enjoy this moment with me, just enjoy our time together now and create new memories, new bonds. Now i see…i even understand why he would hit the syringe and smoke cigarette after cigarette. Now i know how he felt the whole time, and yes i forgive him, i forgive him for EVERYTHING. But that forgiveness isn’t enough to heal me.
Also sorry this is not edited at all. It’s pure stream of consciousness, so enjoy the sight of my thoughts spiraling.

For starters I watch a lot of true crime haha. I've been talking to this girl and all of a sudden she's gone inactive. She's not sharing anything, she's last been active 4 days ago, and my messages aren't being delivered, only marked as sent. So I'm thinking she's either ghosted me, broke/lost her phone, or something bads happened. I had a mutual friend text her and she never text back so that kind of crosses out the ghosting theory. I'm hoping something just happened to her phone but what if I'm wrong? I don't want to come off as a total psycho since we just met but I also want to make sure she's OK. Advice??

Hi. I’m posting here mainly because I cannot differentiate between what is salvageable and what is not. I’ve, 27 y/o f been with my husband 31 y/o m for 10 years.
We met on tumblr. I felt like it was a romantic love story about how he messaged me and it took off from there. I was 16 and leaving a highly traumatic household where I was the caretaker, oldest child and forced to be strong. I’m used to being strong and often don’t know my limits. This could be because of how young and traumatized I was/am, my too trusting nature, or my neurodivergencies. I really struggle to recognize when I am being abused. I didn’t realize that us meeting on tumblr was a regular occurrence for him. I was led to believe that it was our love story.
6 months in: His sexting starts. He creates fake profiles of other men online to sext women. He shares nudes, tells them how they make him feel good and all of things I would love to hear. — I don’t know yet.
We move in together and around the 3rd year, I find the messages from 6 months all the way up until the 3rd year. He bounced around on apps like tinder and grinder. He never made sense of it for me, wouldn’t let me talk about it and was generally very dismissive. But, we stayed together.
Year 5: I catch him again. He’s doing it, but this time he is on all apps. Local and on Kik messaging other men and women. He has accounts of fake men and women. Sexting. Sharing pictures. Talking to each other. Covid happens though, and so we stayed together but that’s when he started with the Venmo payments. A few at 25, 50, 60 dollars. But then, a charge that is $120 at 1am that he can’t seem to explain. He says it’s for a few photos and videos, but isn’t that too much? He was laid off during this time, and spending money that we needed for a move. It was incredibly hurtful.
He always took his phone away so fast that I could never actually screenshot or get closure on his messages. He never came to me and told me that this was a struggle, but now he says that he can’t stop scratching his leg or pacing until he gets it.
At the same time though, I was begging for intimacy. He was having sex with me about once a month- no foreplay as he did not believe in it. He said it had to be quick and a few times he literally did say easy. Our sex with uninspiring, quick, and lacking. He always said he would do more though, and that if I didn’t ask for so much, then he wouldn’t be so driven to apps. He never liked any new positions, me asking for sex and even prepared himself by talking to other women while on vacation to fuel him for sex with me.
2 months later, he cuts off from all apps and proposes to me a day later. But, then he starts back on apps after a few days. He said that he felt like he did a good thing. It made it seem like it was an exchange but he clarified that that was not the case.
He continues with apps, expanding into Grindr, Google Voice, Hinge, every dating app out there just to sext and exchange photos to get that high. He is online too- sexting as someone else and sometimes having phone calls as himself. I didn’t know until 2 weeks ago. Now, he is banned from nearly every dating app in existence using his phone number because of his behavior online. He even took it offline to email etc to avoid getting removed from some apps.
Flash forward to 2022- we get married. I still don’t know everything. But he has upped things and violated a boundary that I drew in the sand. He gets an Only Fans and follows a woman in our area from Hinge. He starts paying her through some Girlfriend Experience which I really don’t understand. He said it was minor chats but there are charges of $68, $48, $28 randomly. Some are one right after the other. He continues this, adding new women. He does this one day before our wedding and again three days after. I am in shock about this part. I cannot believe or fathom it. He said he needed it because he was so insecure. But why didn’t he turn to me? I could have shown him the way that I saw him. Instead he turned to online again.
He says that the profile wasn’t in his name on OF. Or for most of these platforms, but he’s using his card, a few of his photos (it looks like but I can’t tell based on his email) and his phone number. I’m worried I know someone he has talked to. Maybe the reality is that that’s already happened.
Anyways, we go on a trip. I have a panic attack because his phone goes off. He reassures me that it’s email. Then, he goes to the bathroom for 50 minutes. I continue my panic attack, but calm myself into trusting him. He comes out and says he doesn’t have the energy. I’m in lingerie - then I started crying. He reassures me, as I’m crying saying that he knows our worth and would not risk it. He made me feel good. Ok. Safe.
My health declines. I start throwing up every day 4-5 times. I couldn’t help it. I left the country early 2023, thinking that I could trust him. He continued with OF AND apps. I didn’t check his location. I didn’t check our home cameras. He could have done anything while I was gone. I have no idea.
He blocks and deletes numbers. Has over hundreds of blocked numbers. Local too. I called one of them and he said “come downstairs, come downstairs, come down”. He has no explanation for this.
Then, I come back and we watch Larsa on RHoM who is an Only Fans influencer. I said that that would be a dealbreaker for me, he stopped shortly after I came home from that trip. All in all, he spent another $500 while I was unemployed, sick and trying to find myself. We agreed that $150 was the limit that we notified each other at. But no. Not for him.
I caught him again with apps a few weeks ago. There were some funny text messages. He stopped introducing me to his coworkers and I was no longer invited to meet with his friends, but he also stopped meeting with them as much.
I saw everything this time. All of the messages from way back until now and it seems like he never stopped. It feels like he didn’t protect me. I could have been there for him, to support. I was so open and kind and caring. I was gentle with him because I wanted to show him what he deserved. It seems like it just made me easier to take advantage of. He never came to me with honesty or shared when I asked about how he was doing with keeping away from apps etc. he kept it deep, bottled and hidden. These are messages that he would send while we were on the couch together, he would go to the bathroom, be working in the same room, everything. I was there and he did it anyways. I don’t understand how I will be able to tell a difference between when he is doing it and not.
In addition to this- he blame shifts a lot and has plenty of covert narcissistic tendencies. He gives and takes so quickly. He doesn’t let me walk away from arguments often, and will keep us there without food. I would often, after 1 hr in and no break start yelling because he would blame shift and explain my feelings to me like they had to be logical. If my feelings were logical, then he would create bigger feelings within himself. So I would pivot to his feelings.
I’m really confused and wondering if this is something that I can work through or if I am truly delusional? I met him when I was so young, I feel groomed. I feel taken advantage of and used for him to get out of his prior household, have someone there to just be there, and still have his messaging on the side.
We dreamed up a life together that I held so tight onto but he made promises he did not intend to keep. It seems like this is a sexting addiction that he never came clean on.
I’m also worried about the impact that this will have on me mentally. I already have anxious tendencies and I’m really scared that this has shattered me for future relationships. I don’t know how I could ever trust again what someone is doing with their personal device. What if I become someone who stalks their partner? I don’t want to be that person. Do I get a choice? Has he doomed me?
My husband is Latino and grew up in a traumatic household, with abuse from his mother. He didn’t have a father figure and only ever saw men treating women poorly in his life. I’ve given a lot of grace for this reason, and thought that I could somehow show him how to love me. Like we could create our own love story different from our traumatic past.
I grew up with a narcissist father (who was physically and mentally abusive) and a mother who cannot let her child feel her feelings. Both incredibly unavailable, and as I grew to become more upset with them both- they distracted me. My husband knew that. He weaponized that and bought me gifts, experiences and a marriage it seems to continue his charade.
I really need to feel empowered at this point in my life and it feels like he just pushes me down.
Note: please don’t use the word “need” or “must” in your replies. This triggers my cPTSD. I’m open to being pressed on this, I don’t fully understand why I have this reaction.

Hello all I hope you are having a wonderful day/night! I'm just on here in here to find some new friends! Here's some stuff about me :)
I am 21 from Ireland! I work nightshifts in retail so I am more on a american schedule. I have started to get into reading recently. On book 4 for asoiaf and loving it. I also like to play games when I get a chance, I play destiny 2 the most. Would sometimes play cod but that doesn't hold my attention long. Or other single player games.
I have both a dog and a cat, they don't get along too much lmao. I used to enjoy playing dnd, just wish I still could but the group split apart unfortunately.
Just looking for someone to have genuine conversations with, I would prefer to use other texting platforms as I sometimes forget to about reddit so i could forget to respond to messages, I have discord and Snapchat if you would like to use those.
Anyways please feel free to hit me up!

Hello, throwaway account, I don’t know who to talk to about this. I’m so deeply uncomfortable and unsure about what to do plus I have so many questions and don’t know what to believe.
My (18F) boyfriend (18M) just told me the reason why he and two girls who used to be in his friend group had a falling out with the rest of the group. I’m not friends with those two girls (though I was briefly with the one not involved) since I’ve witnessed them cheat on their boyfriends and I’m not a fan to say the least. Live your life but I prefer not to associate myself with people who do that. Anyway, I had heard bits and pieces from him prior to this but he only fully explained everything not even an hour ago after giving a “not so bad” version initially. We’re both in university but since we graduated high school early we both would’ve been 17 when this happened (we only started dating recently). Him and the members of the friend group, including the girl and her friend, are all foreign students. For the sake of anonymity I’ll refer to him as Green and the girl involved as Red (the other as just Red’s friend).
I’ll copy and paste exactly what he said from our messages, “Basically, Red’s bf and Red and another guy and I were all friends. Red’s bf was sexting another girl so they broke up. I wasn't close to these guys like at all. Next day after breakup Red and i made out and she gave me head (it was bad) and I fingered her. Went on for a couple days, then her bf (ex) found out. He wanted a confrontation so we did that and he said he'd been sleeping w Red for the last 4 days, which no one was aware of, everyone thought they had broken up and Red and I would hang out during the day. Red agreed it was true and I was like 😦 But moving on, she acted like I initiated the whole thing and pushed her an all that Whereas I did not do a single thing without consent, and she initiated the kiss first. Her bf himself spoke to her and agreed it was her fault mainly and a few days later she brings up an incident from a couple weeks before that I barely remembered. This was when they were still together and this is the part I regret. I was immensely drunk and high, and Red said I touched her while we were all laying in her dorm room. I honestly do not remember shit, all i remember is i was kissing her and was being kissed back. I regret it because i have no idea if i actually did it and i had a class when they were confronting me about it so i just said i might have but i wouldn’t cause im a nice guy and yall know me, which they got on tape. I don’t know whose fault it is and i still feel guilty and angry about it. I didn’t realize until a year later when i was assaulted [which he’s told me about before when he was nearly raped by penetration when he was also incredibly inebriated] how it would’ve felt for her but the person who assaulted me was in their senses so idk.”
He said he only remembered kissing her and feeling stuff with his hands, but turns out there’s more after I mentioned I’d break up immediately even if it turns out he didn’t assault her but there’s more he’s hiding from me. He said he’s okay with me talking to Red to confirm what he said this time,
“We all were at a party and came back really drunk to Red’s dorm, where we smoked weed, after we smoked, her bf went to get pizza and, our friend (named H, the one the friend of Red cheated with) and Red and i were in the dorm. The three of us layed on her bed. I remember kissing her and fingering her. She didn't seem to be repulsed and didn't push me away, and held on to me a bit, next thing i remember is we were eating pizza. A couple weeks later, when they broke up, Red H and I slept in my dorm cause my roommate was in dallas. Red and I on the same bed, H on my roommates bed. Red and I cuddled here and there, next morning I woke up to her kissing me, we made out for a bit and she tried to give me head which i consented to but i also stopped her because H was sleeping on my roommates bed. After H left, I fingered her w consent and she gave me head. For the next few days, we did nothing sexual, just slept together and kissed here and there. The day the bf found out, we all had a big ass confrontation, and he said I'm a pos and it's majorly Red’s fault, and he never wants to see any of us ever again. The next day, they call me to their dorm and ask me if what happened the night we were drunk happened, and I wanted to be truthful so i told them what I remembered. And Red said she never consented to it and i felt like a very bad person in the moment, we were both drunk and high that night tho. Then the boyfriend continued sending me messages saying i assaulted her and I need to stay away from everyone and that I am a threat, he also said that I am a rapist whereas all Red said was "you touched me inappropriately.” H and him and I had a confrontation later asking how am I a rapist if I never even saw her naked and never penetrated ever. And he shut up after that. And we also mentioned how Red later came onto me first after breaking up w him. After that confrontation none of us spoke ever again. And a year later when i was assaulted, I saw Red’s side of it and I don't know if i was assaulted because i never fought back and what if the person never meant to, like I never meant to, and thought that she was going with it, just because she was moaning and not saying anything.”
Just what the fuck?? What do I do? I have ptsd from sexual abuse and I would never want to be with someone who does that! I wouldn’t want to be that girlfriend who defends her rapist boyfriend. Does it count? Does it make a difference if she doesn’t see it that way? Does it make a difference if he was so drunk? Plus he initiated that with her while she was in a relationship…
He’s never once been weird or done anything similar in our relationship. He’s asked for explicit consent and has never made me uncomfortable saying no. He’s probably the healthiest relationship I’ve ever had and he’s respected ALL of my boundaries. I’ve come to love him, we’ve had sex, but if it turns out he’s sexually assaulted someone I would be so heartbroken and disgusted with myself…Especially since I’d envisioned a future with this guy and thought he’d be my last.

I think I just need to vent.
WIthout writing out the whole story the highlights from this weekend's visit with young boomer dad and older gen x mom

• Dad grabbing me roughly so that he can touch my belly when I told him I didn't want to be touched. Laughing about it.
• Dad taking the only chair with a foot rest, then talking about how lazy I am when my husband brings an end table over for me to put my feet on
• Dad telling me about he has told all of his neighbours about how I am a terrible cook, terrible cleaner, am an ungrateful child, and useless as a wife. (this happened several times- whenever my mom and husband left the room)
• Dad criticizing our home for not having AC
• Dad getting angry when my mom asked him to stop playing videos on his phone so loudly while she was asking me about my health saying "everything has to be about her now doesn't it?"
• Dad criticizing me for making my husband do all the heavy lifting while I am pregnant- husband had been telling the story about how he moved some furniture this week
• Dad proudly expressing his ignorance about the baby clothes my mom brought us- saying he never saw them before and asking things like "why did you buy hats for the baby? why do you need a bib? what is that thing called and what is it for?" etc.
• Dad making comments about how stupid many of the baby items my husband and I bought- the stupid items include swaddle blankets, onesies, baby bouncer, and mobile for over the crib, changing table.
  • Mom telling dad off saying he'd understand how useful those items were had he been more involved with his children when they were infants (I love my mom)
• Dad telling me repeatedly how I will need him to take care of the baby and to set a room up for him stay in, to which my husband and I politely declined his offer to help. He then went on about how I'm incompetent and am going to make my husband do everything.
• Dad saying on multiple occasions that I am going to be a terrible mother, predominately because I won't listen to his advice.
• When I made a comment about my back being a tad sore and asking my husband for a pillow, my dad proclaimed his blood sugar was low and we needed to GO TO LUNCH NOW or he would get worse.
  • My mom pointing out he ate less than an hour ago and him telling her to shut up, he wanted to go to the restaurant.
• Dad telling me how useless my job is and how I'm overpaid, lazy, and doing something anyone can do it.
  • My mom asked him if it was so easy why he didn't do it? To which he replied he wouldn't be happy taking tax payer money for such a stupid job. (I work with homeless youth)
• Dad farting repeatedly in the house and laughing at how bad it smelled. Blamed me for not having febreeze in the house and annoyed when people left the room.
• Dad then sending a text message at the end of the day saying "since it's too much trouble for you to host your family, I'll just find a cheap motel to stay in so that way you don't need to worry about taking care of me when I come over when the baby is born"

I just don't understand going into someone's home, criticizing everything, and repeatedly insulting them.

I was offered a promotion that required a transfer to another department. I was told that I was the best for the position because of my work ethic, wealth of knowledge on the company, and inevitably because it would require less training(only a few days in comparison to a month). They took the job off of all job search sites the same day I expressed interest. When the offer letter came, I was offered the lowest end of the salary range despite my graduate level education, and working knowledge of the systems and company. My offer figure was also shared with other employees, who came to me and told me they knew what was offered. When I countered, they said the most that they could give me was x amount. It was still low but much better and I was told they’d submit that figure to corporate for review and I’d get another offer letter. Another employee somehow got the figure that was agreed upon as well and told me that they heard it was approved. Is this normal and ethical for compensation offers to be released to others? After a week, I did not get another offer letter but a text message from HR stating “The best they can do is offer 14 cents more an hour, I understand if you decline.” Long story short, I declined and the employee that knew the agreed upon counteroffer asked if they could apply for it and was given more money despite having less qualifications.

My (26F) boyfriend (27M) messages his high school ex girlfriend on instagram after seeing she was traveling. He said he told her she would like where she was traveling and that was pretty much it. I found this through his notifications, I could see her responses to him but not his to hers. It seemed innocent, asking about family and causal chat. He said he didn’t do it with any type of intentions but he also wouldn’t let me read his messages. How should I feel about this.. we’ve been together for 5 years
More context*
He cheated on this girlfriend his freshman year of college while she was a senior in high school and he broke it off. He had a somewhat serious college gf after the high school girlfriend and then came me.

This is sort of long but I tried my best to condense it.
My (25F) boyfriend (26M) and I have been together for two years. We are very close, and have talked about our future, moving in together, if we want kids, what we want to do career wise. We both are currently in university. I am pursuing a PHD and he is pursuing a bachelors, as he is also in the military.
Because of him being in the military and also going to university, he is pretty busy and has already been on two deployments of 10+ months each. Granted that those aren't terribly long in comparison to many others. I am in uni full time and also have a full time job so I am also busy but not in the same capacity as him. We both have met each others parents countless times, and everything seemed to be going flawlessly. Or so I thought.
Two weeks ago I went to my parents on scheduled leave as I was getting my IUD changed and needed to recover after that, as I get put under for it due to endo, so they also remove any lesions or growth. They offered to have me over and I said yes, because it meant home cooked meals (I live on campus at my uni as it is cheaper than renting an apartment in the area, so I eat on campus the majority of the time since its included in my tuition.) Four days into my two week leave, my boyfriend asked to stay a few days as he had the week off and wanted to spend time with me and my parents. They said of course, and I of course did too. He came over and everything was fine until the two days later.
My mom and I are very close, as in, no topics are off limits close. To keep it brief, we talk about literally everything, including very personal things like medical issues and explicit topics. I know explicit topics may raise some red flags, but let me explain, as it was what caused the issue with my boyfriend. So bear with me and this might get a bit personal but I will try to keep it clear but controlled.
As I said, I recently got my IUD replaced, I've had one since I was an early teen, but this time I changed brands as the previous one started to give me issues. I was sitting at the island in our kitchen while my mom was washing dishes at the sink. She had asked how I was doing with the new brand and IUD insertion, and I told her how my "outer region" is super sore, and hurts worse when I stand, and that it feels like someone is pummeling my cervix. She nodded and sympathized with me, and mentioned that I shouldn't make it worse and to keep my "hooha" off limits until the 6 week mark, which is when my doctor said that things can enter it again. I laughed and she continued with telling me how when she gave birth to my brother, who was quite the large baby, she needed stitches and she said how my dad was "forbidden from entering her child portal" until she was ready. This isn't even the worst conversation we have had. But I digress.
My boyfriend was apparently in the next room within earshot. I didn't know this, as he said he had to go out and pickup a package from an amazon locker at Walmart so I guess he got back and then sat down in the living room. My moms and I conversation changed subjects because I had forgotten to ask her about a recipe I wanted, but after about 30min it ended and so I got up and went to the living room to wait for my boyfriend but as I mentioned he was already there. He looked appalled and asked to talk to me outside.
He told me how it was disgusting that I was talked about my private area with my mom, and it was even more disgusting that she told me about her and my dads "situation" after the birth of my brother. He told me that he can't look at me the same now knowing that my mom knows all of my business and that she should be, verbatim, "on a registry or list or something because that's f**king disgusting and inappropriate." I told him that since he feels that way, he doesn't have to ever see her again, because we are done. He didn't say anything and left.
Ever since then, he has been blowing up my phone apologizing and asking if we can talk, if he can have another chance, and that he wishes he had never said what he did. Now I know that not everyone has a good relationship with their mom, and that not everyone who does, is this close with her. We are close enough that if anything ever did cross a line, we would make it known. I also know that some people may take us talking about our genitals in a weird way, but everyone has them and its not weird or gross to us so we aren't embarrassed to talk about our struggles, especially as women. I'm not judging anyone who isn't comfortable with talking about that, so please don't judge me for being comfortable with it. I don't expect everyone to be on my side, because I do realize our closeness is probably abnormal, as I have been told that many times.
But a lot of the friends in our friend group have been bombarding me with texts about how I was cold and insensitive for immediately breaking up with him on the spot. I would have been fine with his stance if he had just approached it politely or probably literally any other way than he did, considering he said my mother should be on a "registry" or a "list". I mentioned that to our friends and they all say that he was just caught off guard and that anyone would have reacted emotionally in his situation. Two of our friends are on my side and say that they would have done the same.
Am i wrong for breaking up with him? I am about 90% convinced that I did nothing wrong but that 10% has been in the front of my mind for a while. Any advice or thoughts are appreciated.

My husband has this best friend from college time. I never had issues with her until my wedding a month ago when my maid of honor overheard her snapping at another friend of theirs that “She has him when she wants him” when the friend teased her that she lost him and he was the one who got away.
I told my husband about it a dew days ago (didn’t want to ruin our honeymoon but it was still in my head) but he denied anything happened between them. He was very calm when he said it. Almost too calm? Anyway I have no proof and I trust him. Until I used his phone when mine died. He was driving and I was making a playlist on his phone. Then I looked through his iMessages and he had NO thread with her. I mean I know for a fact that they text. Nothing.
I didn’t say anything but last night I literally saw her name pop up amongst the texts. When he went to bed I looked and there were no texts. He is deleting them! Now my question is: if I ask he will deny it. I need to know and I need proof. Would I be the AH if I initiated a conversation with her acting like I’m my husband and see what’s up?
I need proof and peace of mind

hey, this might get a bit long so I apologise in advance.
So, me and my SO are classmates and in final year of university. He told me he loved me in January of 2023 after talking back and forth over text for a few months prior. I really liked him too so I was happy he confessed. The first few months were a dream, truly I was the happiest and couldn't believe that all what was happening was true.
The problem began in May 2023 when he said that he wanted to talk about smth. He mentioned that I was getting super close to a particular male friend. for a bit of context, the entire class gets divided into groups of 14 in year 4, I had been a pretty introverted person and never really had guy friends except for my SO, with him I felt a real connection and with everyone else I felt super nervous and stuff. I joined this group because my girlfriends were here and also bcs of my SO bcs i had started to like him then. Came year 4 and we started having our rotations and it was during that time that I got introduced to the guys of our group. one of the guys, let's call him X had a super friendly nature and befriended all the girls, he was quite easy going and was not hard to talk to. since we were all becoming friends, he added everyone on socials, me included. my SO found this extremely weird and mentioned that I was getting super close to him and it was bothering him and he needed help in thay regard. he truly looked distressed and I reassured him it was nothing bcs it actually wasn't. I understand he must have felt it was a big change considering my introvert nature but I always felt very excluded from the group and felt like an outsider. I didn't want to feel like that so I started getting included in conversations and stuff. that was all. anyways, I handled the conversationas I apologised to him for increasing the interaction and said that I should have realised this myself and that calmed him down. but when I went home that day, I couldn't shake the feeling that my SO had shown mistrust in me and I went silent for a while. he sensed smth was wrong and asked me and after telling him, he reassured me that he never had an intention like that and he was just discussing it with me.
the thing is, this chapter didn't close there. even after I largely limited my interaction with X on socials, my SO didn't stop bringing him up. (for further context, X was in a very committed relationship with a girl living in another city and everyone knew that) he first said that X and I had super similar interests and that bothered him alot. my interest should ONLY match with my SO and not anyone else. I reassured him that the said interests (liking the same genre of memes and reels) in no way meant anything to me. my SO was the one I wanted. I cleared it multiple times but something or another came up again and again (like me liking X's reel, me commenting on the reel, X made aesthetic nature vlogs and I liked them but my SO was of the view that reels are not that important that u make thoughtful comments about them, I should just like and move on like he does with other girls). even after drawing a boundary back in October 2023 that I had nothing of that sort for him and telling my SO very strictly that associating me with X was not okay and he shouldn't do it anymore, he brought the same stuff up again in March 2024 (he held the promise for the few months in between).
my SO doesn't have a twitter account and I had been on twitter for 5 years. I had asked to join a couple of times but he just said that he doesn't want another app to eat up his time. when he did make an account he added me and was shocked to find out that I liked tweets and did reposts. he said that he doesn't like posting that much or liking this much stuff himself and he was shocked that I did. and since X had asked for my twitter and he was there, it became a big problem and my SO said that u should have abandoned twitter if I wasn't there. Still u kept using it and it mattered more to u than me. and X being there meant more to you than your SO being there.
this was one thing. my SO was a super popular person, very loved, extroverted and outgoing. he had some girl friends whom he used to be physical with (like helping them thru hikes holding hands and giving them head massages on trips). After liking me however, he realised that this stuff was wrong and refrained from it to the point that his friendship with those girls became non existent. it was really a big thing and I appreciate that he did all of this without even letting me complain about it.
the over possessiveness started coming in when back in October 2023, I got this opportunity to volunteer at a place for a day. the seats were limited but I talked to the manager to include me and my SO. she could only get one seat and after discussing with my SO, I took it. he was completely fine and supportive then but after I came back, he made a big deal about me going without him and an opportunity like that mattering to me more than our relationship (according to him, whatever opportunity comes, we should go together or else abandoning the whole thing is better). I'm of the view that since these opportunities are super necessary for future jobs, even if one of us takes it, the other should be supportive bcs it would be beneficial for both of us in the long run.
then came January 2024 when I got an opportunity to do an internship at a really reputable institute. it was in another city and my friend accompanied me. my SO and I were having pretty heated arguments about stuff (like I had made a carousel collage and wanted to ofcourse show him first but he made a big deal out of one picture which I sent him saying it was supposed to be only his and no one else was supposed to see it and that he wasn't even part of 10 percent of it and all it included were my friends even tho I had included 4 of some very precious memories my SO and I had shared, but he wanted this other picture which I had not included and he said that it must have not mattered to me). anyways, all of the 2 weeks I spent there, they were hell. my SO and I were fighting non stop, to the point that sometimes I would be crying by the side of the road before returning to the room me and my friend were renting. it was the most horrible 2 weeks of my life. and I'm not saying it was all his mistake but maybe he could have let things slide for those 2 weeks considering that I had put all my hard earned savings into it and I just wanted to experience smth new. he was pissed that what mattered to me more was going alone than choosing to stay behind and interning in an institute he was present bcs doing stuff together would have meant more.
there have been multiple instances since January that my SO and I have had horrible and big fights. I love studying (freaky I know) and I like working (I'm also a content writer) because it takes my mind off things. it was a coping mechanism I developed when my mom was diagnosed with cancer 2 years back and I had my exams and I just worked my ass off for them by finding a distraction in studies because thinking about anything else just meant a breakdown. whenever things are bad, I can work or study but my SO has diagnosed anxiety and IBS and cannot do any of those things. he has resentment in him that I can go on with normal life stuff after an argument when he incapable of carrying on. I do understand this part of him and I do try to make things better but this has come to a point where I have to deliberately present myself as incapable of doing such stuff just so I can prove to him that the argument we just had matters to me more than anything. otherwise he thinks that I'm just happy being without him and can carry on stuff alone.
he also doesn't want me to post my pictures openly on insta and they should be reserved for close friends because the potential males that I will be adding to my insta in the coming years would be able to see those pictures. he has also made comments about me smiling too much while talking to guys and that he has restrained this stuff alot with girls and I should be doing the same because otherwise it sends the wrong message. I really don't think I smile too much. it's just a way of carrying a conversation. he also believes that partners should have control over each other and he tells me that I can control him however I want and he should do the same to me. the thing is I've never made comments about him talking to girls or I've never associated him with girls. I do trust him completely but when it comes to me I have to explain everything to him to prove that no I'm only interested in him and no one else.
things got escalated last night when another volunteering opportunity came but the same scenario repeated (one seat available), I immediately thought of my SO and called him to take up the opportunity as he had been showing interest in it. he refused and said that he won't go alone without me but I really wanted him to go as it would have added to his CV. he refused so I asked him if I could go to which he started saying stuff like yes that matters to you more and u wanna do things independently. I had been staying home for about 2 weeks before and really wanted to get some outside air and this seemed like a good chance and since he wasn't taking it I wanted to but it turned into a full blown fight and he ended up breaking up with me by saying that we are very different and think differently about things.
he called me in the morning while I was sleeping and he got angry that I was sleeping after such a big fight. I just was super super tired. he then started saying stuff like yeah the breakup was what u wanted that's why u didn't contact me (while my reason was that he was super firm despite me explaining him my pov the night before), he got angry that I left so easily and I have a history of doing so (I shut down and need time to process things before returning back to a situation while he believes in talking things asap. I've conveyed this need multiple times but he says that I play with his feeling and love leaving him in agony). he believes that he can leave things easily for me but when it comes to me I can't do the same and that has been a recurring theme in this relationship. he then wanted to come back but this had happened many times before and I was just tired. he broke the rule of not bringing a break up in times of a fight and I had enough. the whole situation then turned onto me that it was me who wanted to break up and not him since he wants to come back but I'm not being welcoming
it has come to a point where I have started to feel judged by him for being good at studies and for having coping mechanisms. I do love him alot and he's very kind and sweet but he just doesn't seem to understand that we should have lives outside of this relationship too. he has completely isolated himself and expects me to do the same.
I know this was probably a big word vomit with zero coherence but what would your take on this situation be? I would love to hear it.
TLDR: I find my SO over possessive. I font know if I'm overthinking or if he actually does put me in a tough spot.

I (26F) slept with my ex's best friend in my ex's house. I did not think this was going to affect my ex the way it did and I have to fill you all in for why I felt like this was okay to do.
First of all, my ex and I got together back in October and were together for 3 months. He broke up with me out of the blue and ghosted me. For a week I wasn't sure what was going on and then finally he said he didn't have time for a relationship. I felt blind sighted by this and was a wreck for a month. I really did love him and was so confused how sudden this came about.
Months pass and we still followed each other on Instagram but I'd try and ignore so I blocked him. Eventually I was like you know what I don't think I want to block him any more and I kid you not the day I unblock him he responds to one of my stories which surprises me. We start talking and he updates me about his life and I'm a bit more reserved with what I'd like to tell him about mine due to him dumping me and ghosting me.
He would text me throughout the week and call me which I answered. He updated me about the girls he was talking to, the new job he has, the house he bought etc etc. I didn't feel jealous, I have my own life and am very content with it, but I was confused as to why he wanted to talk to me all of a sudden. Truthfully I felt like he was almost boasting about his life now that I'm out of it. I told him this and it caught him off guard and he said he wanted to foster a friendship with me. I was open for this because I did miss him and would love to have him around in my life in some way. He also wanted to reiterate that he broke up with me because he couldn't focus on a relationship. I told him I understood. He also shared with me his anxieties and fears and I felt like a kind of friend-therapist which I was okay with. I like how people feel like they can come to me and vent and feel safe opening up.
He would text me throughout the week randomly, call me on the weekends at night (I was typically asleep and would see the calls after), and just give me a lot of attention. Again, I know he was trying to foster a friendship but also couldn't comprehend the need to talk to me regularly. I told my friends this and they were equally confused and couldn't understand his angle either. I also want to point out that he also spoke to me about the girls on his roster and how he really likes this one girl and I'd give him advice about this. Just trying to help him out! Really at this point I felt like I was being a friend. And I was very okay with it and excited to be a part of him sharing his love life with me. I love a good tea!
Anyways, Friday night comes around and I'm celebrating my friends birthday downtown. He texts me at like 10pm and we start talking and he says his best friend is in town and they want to hangout. I invite him over and he and his friend mob with me and my friends from bar to warehouse party. My ex and I walked over to get drinks and he said he sees me almost like a little sister and that it feels good to be friends with me. In that moment he verbalized how he felt towards me and that made me finally feel satisfied that yes we have reached the point of friendship where were just homies.
We get back to his place and his friend is staying in his roommates room (who left for the weekend). My ex falls asleep and me and his friend are on the couch talking and having really deep discussions about life. I definitely grew fond of him and there was more mental chemistry than I had expected. He started feeling my leg and I pulled away. I told him thats probably not a good idea and that I wouldn't want to get in the way of his and my ex's friendship. His friend said that it wouldn't and that he knows it wouldn't bother my ex. Mind you, they're best friends and I thought well if they're best friends he would know how my ex would feel better than me. He came up with reasons for why my ex was allowing for this to happen and I followed that and we ended up smashing in his roommates bed. 10 minutes in my ex goes to the door and yells "both of you need to get the fuck out of my house now." I was shocked and got my shit together and my ex said "you're not a good friend" to his best friend and his best friend replied that my ex had done way worse things to him. They mentioned some girls names and I immediately thought that the sex with me some sort of retaliation.
I leave the house and my ex calls me begging me for a reason as to why I did it. I have to preface that I didn't think this was going to upset him. I thought we had reached a level of friendship where he wouldn't care who I had sex with, especially after being told he sees me as a little sister. He kept saying "you don't fuck your ex's best friend" and that got through to me. He said I have no common sense and I just started crying because I guess I don't. I didn't mean to hurt him to this degree. I didn't mean to hurt him at all. I feel like his best friend lied to me and I was dumb to follow through with it/ ignore how I felt that maybe it wasn't a good idea. But his friend built up a case for me and I ignored my own gut feeling. I told my friend this and she said in a way he coerced me with fake justifications that he knew of bc he's his "best friend". I do take accountability though for my actions.
He told me he's going to beat up his best friend so that this doesn't happen again. His friend is understanding of this and I guess this is what that friend group does to show respect or whatever. My ex told me that he hopes this sends a message. He then said that he genuinely hates me and despises me. I've been feeling like shit the whole weekend and beating myself up. Our relationship is for sure ruined and I'm assuming its ruined between him and his best friend too. But also....his best friend kinda sucks.
I'm really here just venting. But if anyone wants to share how they felt about this or give me advice for the future that would be great. I now know not to fuck my ex's best friend. I'm just trying to be a better person everyday and I really hate it when I make people upset without meaning to.

i had been seeing this guy just coming up to about 4 months. i set the rules FWB, short term as i’ll be leaving n the city in july. we recently make plans a week in advance for him to come over, the time comes and i tell him he can either come early or later. HE chose later and when the time come i texted him im ready & it was radio silence. the NEXT day at 8PM he messages me ‘im so sorry (my name)’ with no explanation whatsoever.
i don’t reply to it for a couple hrs and i get a no caller ID & it’s obviously his friend speaking and saying ‘oh i wanna take you on a date and treat you right’ like what ? 😭😂 i believe he did that to see if i was on my phone as i wasn’t gonna respond quickly to an ‘i’m sorry’ with 0 explanation??
anyways i message back after saying what happened as i was genuinely concerned, again radio silence. this as a week ago - since then i’ve been moving on and re downloaded hinge, admittedly i put my settings to see if i could see his profile, which i did and it was the same as 4 months ago and i have no problem with that, and then i saw he changed his pics and some prompts. i know this because 2 days ago really late in the night i showed my friend the profile and it was the same as always, come yesterday morning he changed it & i think he did it because he saw my new hinge profile. anyways i blocked him off there too. i get better day by day knowing i was WAY more valuable to him than he was to me, and i mean in a MULTITUDE of ways.
i guess im asking for advice because i didn’t actually do anything ? do you guys have any tips/suggestions on moving on without an explanation/closure ?

First time posting, sorry for any grammar and spelling errors. Advice is always appreciated. Hello to Vincey and The Click if you read this.
A bit of backstory
I (23 F) have this friend, Ann (23 F) that I've known since freshman year of high school. After graduating, we lost contact for a year due to moving cities before reconnecting again at a job. We agreed to move in together and few months later, her boyfriend (now fiancé) moved in as well because his needed a place. Since both our names were on the lease, they needed my approval for the landlord to allow it, and even though I hadn't met him, I agreed. I even helped him find a new job.
Fast-forward a year later and the boyfriend got a promotion in a different city, the original plan was for me to move with them because, again, rent is high and I had nowhere else to go. Well, right as we were applying for rental houses, Ann changed the agreement at last minute stating that they would only let me stay with them for a year before I'd have to move out after I asked how the lease was going to go. I wasn't planning on living with them forever, but with the short time frame I wouldn't be able to save up enough to get my own place in a city I've never been to with an even higher cost of living. He was not aware of this change until I texted them in our group chat about declining to move because of the short time span. I was upset at the sudden change of plans, only because this was three months before our lease was up, but I found a different apartment with the help of a friend's family who would lease me one of their properties to me to keep me off the streets.
This whole time, they were planning their wedding and asked if I would be a bridesmaid. Of course, I agreed. I had known Ann for almost eight years and was becoming decent friends with the future groom. After I moved, Ann made a Facebook post about the wedding date being changed to this November instead of next year. Feeling confused, I messaged her about it so I could go buy a bridesmaid dress. Ann just says she isn't doing a bridal party anymore, but I would still be invited. Two weeks ago, Ann posted, once again, on Facebook and announced that invites were sent out and that we'd get them by the end of that week. That only fifty people could be invited and there was no reason for someone not to be invited besides not having the space.
I still haven't gotten the invite she had said I would get. I understand that it's her wedding, but both her and her now fiancé expressed that they wanted me there, they wanted me to be A PART of the wedding, but now I'm not even invited to attend. I just feel used. I did so much for them, only for her to change plans that affected my living situation and not invite me to her wedding after previously being a bridesmaid. I sent a message expressing how I felt hurt and why I did, but she never responded and our mutuals started scolding me for it.
So, AITA for confronting my friend after she cut me from her wedding?