Brinks home sercurity safe

So this is a bit of a long story.. I'm a 17 year old black girl who was born in New York but raised in the country side of Virginia, I've moved back to the city about 2 years ago; basically I've lately been in the nature phase, and wanted to go walk around Manhattan by myself but there's a huge problem.. The main problem would be is that my Mum says I need someone to watch me because I have the curiosity of a toddler and will end up getting lost the second problem is she needs to know said friend and there parents The huge problem in that it self will be.. I DON'T GOT FRIENDS IM A LONER ALRIGHT!!! Not a lot of people wanna hang out with a suburbs kid.. Anyways, it doesn't exactly help that my mum is also a Christian and kinda overprotective; The truth is if I can go to Manhattan and walk there all by myself without getting lost and come back home safe; She will try and find me a Camping/Traveling club to join but I need to hurry up because my whole life is based on a phase like just last week I was eating Pizza Bagels and Cereal, because I was craving it... please for the love of God Help Meeee!!! 🥹🥹🙏🙏🙏🫣🫣

I have a 12 week old boxer puppy that came home 3 weeks ago.
My biggest concern right now is her behavior at puppy class yesterday. This was our second class and the first time the trainer let the puppies interact at all. After obedience training, we did meetings 2 at a time. My puppy was very excited with the first dog when they weren't close together (who is older and much bigger than her). When they got to meet nose to nose the other puppy was excited and trying to get at her. My puppy started getting scared and timid.
Eventually they tried her with a puppy her age. My puppy instantly had her hackles raised. She would wag her tail and would play bow sometimes, but other times she would be stiff and growling/barking at the puppy. They would kinda play ok for a second, then the other puppy would jump on mine and she seemed to get upset and growl at her. The trainer thought my puppy was being "mean" to the other puppy.
Eventually, my puppy was told to sit and observe as the others were able to do their meetings. She was still excited but didn't seem as "on alert" as before and more like she wanted to join in.
I'm concerned that she seemed fearful and possibly even slightly aggressive to the other puppy. For the first 2 weeks we had her, we tried introducing her to safe dogs but she was way too nervous and would actively run away from them and shake uncontrollably so we stopped and gave only been doing calm, observing of other dogs from afar.
I really do not want a dog aggressive dog and I am spiraling that she will become one. Am I overreacting? Should I try to introduce her to my cousin's dog again before puppy class next week or just wait until class? Any tips? Anyone else's puppy act like this and turn around with exposure?

 morning, beautiful 🥰 

 the language of Light what is Akashic Code ✨ Light Codes 

 all my love, always 💋 

 morning, beautiful 🥰 

 the language of Light what is Akashic Code ✨ Light Codes 

 all my love, always 💋 

Posting this for my wife, she's flying out to drive one of our adult children back home with a car full of belongings and a dog. Going from mid-Maryland to southern Arizona. Couple of routes that all appear to be within 20- miles of each other. If you need to drive quickly and both are nervous drivers in thick traffic, what's the best option to get them across the country safely? I've made that drive a few times, but it was back in the late 90's. Seem to remember that I-40 across the country made the most sense.

The people involved (names are changed):
Jake – me
Tom – my flatmate
Kath – Tom’s girlfriend
Emily – Kath’s flatmate
TLDR (but context is very important for how the situation develops):
· Me and Emily get with each other at a party.
· It turns out Kath had forbidden Emily from getting with me. Since Emily went and did it anyway, Kath falls out with her.
· Kath ends her friendship with Emily. Me and Emily continue seeing each other.
· When I plan to go to see Emily at their apartment, Tom tells me that Kath is in a really dark place mentally, and the thought of me and Emily being there together while Kath’s there is triggering her anxiety, so he asks me not to go over.
· Me and Emily follow these instructions for months, while Tom and Kath continue coming and going to either of our apartments as they please.
· Emily eventually gets in touch with Kath to try and understand exactly why me coming over is an issue, since Kath has no problem coming to my place. Kath has a meltdown due to this and it makes her suicidal.
· Tom falls out with me because I knew about the messages that caused his girlfriend to feel suicidal.
(Skip to 'Late April' if you want to go straight to the crux of this post, but I do think it's quite an entertaining read).
Background Context
Me and Tom (both mid-twenties) have lived together in our apartment since I moved to the city last year. I’ve known him for several years and would put him in my inner circle of closest friends, so living with him was all just good chill vibes as expected - or at least it was for the first six months.
I met Tom’s girlfriend of several months, Kath, for the first time pretty soon after moving in. Although she was kind of shy, I thought she seemed nice enough. I noticed that Kath would seem to lean on Tom a fair amount when it came to support for her mental health (she had been diagnosed with anxiety), which of course is normal as her boyfriend. On one occasion, she had a particularly bad anxious episode during a group hangout, with Tom consoling her about it afterwards. Following this, Tom seemed exhausted, saying to me “I’m not a professional, I’m not equipped to deal with all this mental health stuff. She needs help from someone who can adequately help her deal with these thoughts. When she blows things out of proportion and she stresses out to me about her anxiety, it just ends up making my own anxiety worse”. He also said that he had even offered to pay for therapy for Kath, but she didn’t want to accept it.
I just felt bad for Tom, especially since I had some understanding of what he was going through. I had previously had a girlfriend who had anxiety/depression/BPD and put all her mental health issues on me. That girlfriend was also very manipulative and would mention suicidal thoughts any time she started feeling like she was losing control over me (just to be clear, there was no indication that Kath was acting in a manipulative way towards Tom at that point). In my experience, when you end up in a situation where you’re essentially acting as someone’s full-time personal mental health counsellor, it hardly ever ends well.
At some point in January, I met Kath’s “bestie” flatmate, Emily. I remember thinking she was cute, seemed nice and easy to talk to. We all hung out as a group a few times that month and I thought there may have been a little bit of a vibe between me and Emily.
So as you do, I slid into Emily’s DMs and basically let her know I was interested. I messaged her a week or two before our party that her and Kath were coming to, but her response was lukewarm so I just thought she probably wasn’t interested.
For context, I had recently broken up with my girlfriend in January, who had just got back from travelling for the last 6 months. Things in that relationship weren’t great before she even went travelling, and during the months she was away I had come to terms with the fact that it was best to end it. I waited until she was back to say it in person, as I didn’t want to drop that on her while she was travelling and ruin that once in a lifetime experience. However, deep down I knew I had wanted talk to other girls and explore new connections for the last few months, but obviously I didn’t want talk to anyone until it was cleanly over. Me messaging Emily was only a few days after breaking up with her, which I guess isn’t great, but in my head I had been ready to move on for a while, I saw no point in putting an arbitrary time limit on myself. I made sure to explain this context when I messaged Emily so that she was aware of my recent circumstances.
The Party (End of January)
So me and Emily end up getting with each other at the party. Initially, when I brought up me messaging her, she said “I think you’re cute, but I think it’s best we just be friends for the next couple months, since you just recently got out of a relationship, and we can see what happens afterwards”. But as the night went on, I guess Emily changed her mind, because as we kept talking it got increasingly flirty and we ended up getting together. Perfect end to the night, right? Not exactly.
At one point when Emily goes to the bathroom, she comes back into my bedroom saying “Kath is furious at me”. I ask why, and she says that Kath had basically forbidden her from getting with me.
Back when I first messaged Emily, she had of course shown Kath the messages straight away. It turns out Kath for some reason had a really intense reaction to this and was like “I can’t believe he has the audacity to hit on my best friend right after breaking up with his girlfriend! It’s so disrespectful using you as a rebound, it’s disrespectful to his ex and it’s disrespectful to me for hitting on my best friend like this! He was the only one of Tom’s friends that I actually liked but he’s ruined that too now!”.
Apparently, Kath had been used as a rebound before and this was triggering for her, so she didn’t want her best friend to be used as a rebound. She said “you can’t get with him, Emily, that’s my boundary.” Emily was a bit taken aback by the intensity of this reaction and was just a bit like “umm okay…?”. She tried a few times before the party to understand a bit more about why Kath had such a problem with it but didn’t get much further explanation than that.
Now, I agree that Emily was in the wrong for saying to Kath that she wouldn’t get with me and then went and did it anyway, and Emily also acknowledges this. Emily should have said from the start she wasn’t okay with this weird “boundary” Kath had set. It was a bit cowardly. Although given how intensely Kath overreacts to things, I can understand why Emily initially just agreed to whatever she was saying to calm her down. I can also understand how when you’re at a party having fun, drinking and realise that you do actually have a good vibe with the person, in the moment you might change your mind and be like “actually fuck that, who the fuck is she to tell me who I can and can’t get with?”.
Kath saw this as Emily having no respect for their friendship, by choosing some guy she’d just met over her. From Emily’s perspective she was choosing herself, choosing not to follow these nonsensical rules that had been imposed on her, and she was just tired of Kath overreacting to everything and trying to control her.
In my opinion, being this controlling for no good reason is pretty disrespectful in itself. Given that Kath’s reason for telling Emily not to get with me was because she didn’t want her to be used as a rebound…well that’s Emily’s risk to take, isn’t it? I can see how from Emily’s perspective, she knew Kath might not be happy about it, but it’s also not some deep betrayal, since based on the reason Kath gave, the consequence would only be on Emily herself. Emily had the exact same knowledge about my recent relationship status as Kath did, so why did Kath think she can tell her what to do?
As we get to further into this post and the real reason why Kath set this “boundary” is revealed, you will see why I actually think any argument Kath has against Emily for getting with me at the party is automatically void, but we will learn these details as they come.
Start of February
After the events of the party, Kath didn’t want to talk to Emily the next day when she tried to initiate communication via message (Kath tends to avoid in-person confrontation). Fair enough, Emily gave her space. Me and Emily spend the next day together just talking and getting to know each other more, and it’s clear that we vibe together and both feel very comfortable with each other, which is pretty rare for both of us.
I don’t see Tom for the first few days after the party, as he had been staying at Kath’s. When I do, I’m a bit surprised that he didn’t think much of Kath’s reaction at the party. He says “yeah I probably should have warned you about this beforehand”. We both agree that Emily was in the wrong for going back on what she said, but also that Kath shouldn’t have tried to control her like that. He did say “sorry I know this put you in an awkward position”.
A few days after the party, Emily again tries to get in touch with Kath via message.
Emily’s message essentially apologised for her actions, saying she was in the wrong for going back on what she said, and that she should have said from the start that she wasn’t happy with this “boundary”. She also said that Kath shouldn’t have tried to dictate her life and tell her what to do, especially when it’s something that’s none of her business, and that she is going to continue seeing me, taking the risk of being a “rebound”.
Kath’s response essentially said the whole incident at the party was only a small part of why she exploded so intensely, this was just the last in a long line of things Emily had done in the past which she had not forgiven her for. This was just the last straw for Kath because “it hit so close to home, so close to the love of my life”. She wanted things to be civil between them until the end of their tenancy, but this was essentially the end of their friendship.
Okay good, Kath flipping out so badly now finally made a bit more sense to me. Obviously, I wanted to know what Emily had done that was so bad to cause this, as any indicators of bad character would inform whether I choose to keep talking to her.
Emily went through these, explaining that these were incidents from their past that they had discussed at the time, dealt with and moved on from. I have cut these out for the word limit as they don’t add much to this post, but it was the most minor, nonsensical things (I can explain in the comments if anyone wants details).
In any case, I wasn’t particularly interested in what mistakes Emily might have made months or years ago, I was more interested in what her character was like now and going forward.
Early/Mid February
So here’s where the main situation we’re in now starts. For context, Kath and Emily’s apartment is in the city center, close to where both mine and Tom’s offices are, so it would make sense to go over in the evening and go into work from theirs the next morning, as Tom has been doing once or twice a week for the last few months.
It's worth noting that ever since the party right up to the present moment, Emily and Kath have not been interacting at all, avoiding each other in their apartment, only messaging for things like bill payments.
The first time I planned to go stay round Emily’s place was early/mid-February. When I mention this to Tom, he tells me that Kath has been having a really bad time mentally since the party, and the thought of me and Emily being there together triggers her anxiety. He asks me not to go over to their apartment for the next couple of weeks or so while she’s in this particularly bad phase. I don’t really understand what me going over and seeing Emily has to do with Kath’s anxiety (and Tom says he doesn't really understand it either himself), but I say okay fine it’s not that big of deal, I won’t go over for the time being.
Now, a valid question for myself is why I decided to keep seeing Emily, despite knowing that Kath had fallen out with her and therefore knowing it could potentially cause fiction between me and Tom. I don’t think I did anything wrong for several reasons:
· I suppose there’s the general visceral reaction against being told what to do. Like mind your own business, it’s not my fault Kath decided to get involved in my business. Why should she get what she wants when she’s the one being unreasonable? Why should we deny ourselves the opportunity of getting to know someone we seem to vibe with just because Tom’s girlfriend doesn’t like it?
· Before I even knew there was any issue at all, it was already too late; I had already gotten with Emily, they had already fallen out, and Kath already thought I was a dickhead. So what good would it do now to not see each other? Kath already didn’t like me (and she had also previously told me that once she doesn’t like someone, there’s no going back, they’re finished in her mind).
· In the initial first few days after the party, both me and Tom were kind of expecting that Kath’s reaction would blow over in a few days after she had cooled down. How could I have predicted that her reaction would instead continue getting increasingly intense as the situation went on?
· Frankly, I was annoyed at Tom at this point. He knew how Kath had reacted to me messaging Emily, so why did he just bend over and enable his girlfriends’ controlling, unreasonable behavior without question? If it was my girlfriend acting like this generally, I’d be like “why are you getting involved in their business, just let them do what they want?”, and especially so if it was directly affecting one of my close friends.
· Fundamentally, there’s no inherent reason why there had to be any issue at all? Okay Kath has ended her friendship with Emily and might not like that we’re seeing each other, but there’s no need for there to be any continued drama. Obviously we won’t all be hanging out as a four having fun like I had initially hoped, but that doesn’t mean we can’t just exist as adults and be civil? The only reason this continues to be an issue in the first place is because Kath is making it an issue for everyone else involved.
· Finally, I actually like Emily – from the first few days it was clear it wasn’t just going to be a FWB situation. If it felt like more of a superficial FWB situation, then yeah I probably would have just thought it’s not worth the drama, even though I thought Kath was the one in the wrong.
Late February
Over the month of February, me and Emily keep hanging out and getting closer. Whilst I was keeping a very close eye on her for any sign of character flaws (it was still possible that Kath could be in the right, even though her side of it didn’t make much sense to me), the more I got to know her, the more it seemed my initial judgment of her was accurate. I saw how she acted with her other friends, they all seemed to really value and appreciate her. I saw her helping out her friend in need of a fairly large amount of money without a second thought, I saw her going to accompany her friend for a medical scan they had, and generally she was really nice and thoughtful with me. Not exactly the behavior of an inconsiderate person.
Sometime in late February, Emily messages me completely baffled. She couldn’t believe that Kath had invited over a girl from their social circle, Dianne. The reason why this is a bit scandalous is because Kath is always talking shit about Dianne behind her back. And it’s not just “she can be a bit annoying sometimes”, it’s an explicit sentiment of how much she dislikes her, how much of a bad person she is and how much she wants her removed from her life. And she does this frequently, I barely speak to Kath and even I’ve heard her rant about how much she doesn’t like Dianne. So, she’s constantly saying this kind of stuff behind her back, and here she is now inviting her round for tea acting all friendly. I just found that so two-faced and this inevitably shaped my perception of Kath being deceptive.
Not long after I heard about this, Kath was round our place over the weekend. Me, Tom and Kath were heading off to our friend’s housewarming party later that day, with me driving us. At one point when the three of us are all in the kitchen, Kath speaks to me properly for the first time since the party, basically to clear the air. She says she doesn’t want there to be any bad blood between us and that her problem wasn’t with me, it was with Emily. I just say that I was cool with her, I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable with me or when coming over to our apartment, and that the situation between her and Emily was between them and not my business.
I wasn’t entirely convinced with her “clearing the air”, given that I had seen she apparently has no issue with being two-faced, but at the time I thought it was best to stay cool with her for the sake of me and Tom’s friendship and also I didn’t particularly fancy spending the rest of the day and a long car ride with awkward vibes.
End of February
At the end of February, Tom asks me how things are going with Emily and basically advises caution with her. He says that from what he’s seen she’s basically not a good person and she’s generally inconsiderate. I tell him I find that surprising from what I’ve seen of Emily, but I know it’s possible she could have just been putting on a front for the last month. I openly accept this, saying “I want to hear what you have to say, obviously you’re my friend and I respect your opinion”.
Essentially, he doesn’t bring up anything that I hadn’t already been told.
When I question Tom on why Kath thought she was a mind reader and assuming what my intentions were with Emily at the very start of this whole thing, Tom reveals he had since found out that the real reason Kath had forbidden Emily from getting with me in the first place actually wasn’t really to do with me recently breaking up with my girlfriend/using Emily as a rebound (Tom said this was a minor part of the reason, more of an excuse to base it on). It was more that Kath already knew beforehand that she wanted to end her friendship with Emily and was essentially trying to prevent her still being part of her life (i.e. by getting close to her boyfriend’s friend/flatmate).
Now it all made sense why Kath tried to “ban” her from getting with me in the first place. I’m not sure if Tom thought telling me this would make me more sympathetic to Kath’s side of it, but if anything, this deceptive behavior was even more of a red flag to me. As far as everyone (except for Kath) was concerned, her and Emily were best friends. Kath had even said to Emily a couple of weeks before the party that “she was like a sister to her”.
Tom didn’t seem to have much issue with this, saying something along the lines of “yeah I know she shouldn’t have kept all this stuff bottled up, but she doesn’t like confrontation, it makes her really anxious”.
After learning this, I think any argument for Emily being in the wrong for disobeying Kath’s instructions at the party is automatically void: Imagine having the audacity to be like “yeah I know I tried to control you by framing it as me being a protective friend looking out for you, but actually it was really because I wanted to end my friendship with you anyway teehee 😊”. In my view that is just so manipulative. No wonder the reason given to Emily for not getting with me made no sense to her.
When I revealed this to Emily, she said that she had been suspecting that was the case anyway, but it still really hurt to hear it confirmed.
Form her perspective it was like: “So was Kath holding all these grudges all the times I was consoling her for whatever mental health issue she was having at any given time?” (I wonder if Tom was thinking what a bad person Emily was when it was him and Emily staying up till stupid o’clock trying to console Kath who was crying about job applications a few weeks before all this kicked off). There are many other examples of things she had done for Kath in both the recent and more distant past.
Kath also knew that Emily’s best friend had killed herself a few years prior, and after going through the loss of her best friend, Emily had always said she was super hesitant to call anyone her “best friend”. Kath knew about this and still let Emily believe they were best friends, whilst she clearly didn’t really mean it, which I think is quite cruel of her.
Despite what I had seen of Emily so far, I still took what Tom said into account, and continued to watch her carefully.
Mid March
Another couple of weeks pass and given that my last interaction with Kath was her clearing the air with me, I thought everything was now cool between us. I mention to Tom at the start of the week that I’m planning to stay at their apartment later that week and he says “okay cool”. However, later that same evening, he once again asks me not to go over to their apartment. Apparently when he told Kath that I was going over, she started having a panic attack at the thought of me going there.
At this point I’m really started to get frustrated at this situation and again I try to understand exactly what the problem is, because this entire time Kath and Tom have been coming and going to either apartment as they please, so Kath clearly doesn’t have a problem coming to my apartment while I’m there. Tom again says that he doesn’t fully understand it himself, and that Kath doesn’t want to feel this way either, but she’s in a really bad place at the moment and me being there with Emily is really triggering her anxiety.
This makes no sense to me or Emily, because we obviously wouldn’t do anything to make Kath uncomfortable, and from our perspective this is just enabling her dysfunctional way of dealing with this situation.
Even though I still don’t understand what the fuck me seeing Emily has got to do with Kath’s mental health, I’m obviously not going to barge my way into someone’s home when I’m not welcome. So once again, I do as I’m told and say I won’t go over. But I do tell Tom that this situation isn’t going to continue going on like this indefinitely, and to me it feels to me like I’m being walked all over, in the sense of “oh yeah no worries, you two carry on going to either apartment as you please, I’ll just sit here like a dickhead and follow my instructions, don’t worry about it 😊”. He does say sorry and that he knows it’s inconvenient for us, but it's an even bigger inconvenience for Kath.
It’s worth bearing in mind that at this point, I could have responded to this situation by saying that if I’m not welcome at her apartment, Kath is not welcome here (or equally Emily could say to Kath “you can’t bring Tom round”). Whilst yes, it’s a bit petty, I think this would be a completely justified response to prevent a situation where we are being walked all over. Because what would be the alternative? They just carry on doing as they please indefinitely whilst Emily is told she isn’t allowed to have equal use of her own apartment? Now obviously telling your friend that his girlfriend isn’t allowed to come over is really a last resort and would definitely put a big dent in our friendship, and generally I have no desire to control what anyone else does, so of course I didn’t respond in this way.
Despite my frustration at this entire situation, I do feel bad for Tom because I can see how uncomfortable he seems during these conversations with me, he obviously doesn’t want to give me these unreasonable instructions. I can only assume he’s just trying to do whatever he can to keep his girlfriend afloat and prevent her next meltdown. I’ve been there myself dealing with a girlfriend with mental health issues, so I don’t want to actively make things worse for my friend either. However, I’m also worried that it’s likely to get worse for him the more he feeds into it and gets sucked into it.
At this point, the cynical side of me couldn’t help but wonder if Kath was being a bit manipulative and leaning into all the mental health stuff to maintain control of the situation.
· She seemingly is unable to give a reason for exactly why me and Emily being in her apartment makes her so uncomfortable. To me, this was completely indistinguishable from her just hating the fact that we’re together.
· All this reminds me of exactly the same kind of manipulative behavior I saw with that ex-girlfriend.
· She’s shown she has no problem with being intentionally deceptive – maybe if the entire basis of this situation hadn’t started off with Kath being manipulative she would have a bit more credibility in my eyes.
I know this kind of behavior is often not even intentional, and that it can be subconscious where the person doesn’t even realise they’re being manipulative.
(Still Mid March)
Now we get to the part that pisses me off the most in this whole situation. Only a few days after that conversation with Tom, for some reason Kath comes to stay in our apartment for the weekend while Tom was away at a house party. As in, it’s just me and Kath in my apartment.
Personally, I couldn’t imagine having the nerve to say to someone they aren’t welcome in my home because their presence triggers me, and then only a mere few days later actively choosing to go stay the weekend at their place while it’s just us two in the apartment. Like either my presence triggers you or it doesn’t?
Now to be fair, Tom had asked me a week or two beforehand if Kath could come to our apartment to hang out with someone from our friend group while he was away, and I said that was cool. Anyway, those plans fell through, but Kath still came over by herself.
But the main thing that pissed me off about this is that Tom, after knowing that I was already feeling like I was being taken for a mug in this situation, apparently didn’t even think it was worth bothering to check with me if it was still cool with me that Kath came round, given our conversation a few days prior.
If he’d at least checked in like, “I know it’s a bit weird that she’s coming to stay round by herself after having just said that your presence triggers her anxiety”, I still would’ve said okay, because I have no desire to control what anyone does. But it was just the fact he didn’t seem to care, saying “btw Kath is gonna stay here tonight” moments before leaving to his party.
To me it felt like he had spent the last month or so basically giving me instructions to make sure everyone caters to his girlfriend’s feelings, and yet didn’t give the slightest consideration to how this would make me feel. Part of me was thinking does he even see me as a friend or just as an inconvenience to his relationship at this point?
I spoke to Tom in the week following this, expressing how I had felt about Kath staying round. He did apologise and acknowledged he could’ve checked in with me, but he didn’t really seem to understand why her coming over like that was such a kick in the teeth for me. He said Kath doesn’t have a problem with me, it’s only a very specific situation that triggers her (i.e. me and Emily being in her apartment together).
Again I try to understand exactly why it’s a problem. Ever since the party, Emily’s presence in their apartment has consisted of her quietly staying in her room, quickly cooking her food and going straight back to her room. She doesn’t spend 2 hours in the kitchen making food like Kath and Tom sometimes do when he’s there.
Tom again says he doesn’t fully understand it himself. From what he understands, it’s triggering because her home is her safe space and if we’re both there it’s like there’s two hostile presences in that safe space. He reiterated that she is in a very dark place at the moment, and that she’s been having frequent panic attacks and suicidal thoughts.
Tom then says that Kath would be prepared to leave the apartment if me and Emily wanted to meet there, and Kath would basically get out of the way and come to me and Tom’s apartment instead. This did give me a bit more confidence that Kath wasn’t just purposefully making things difficult.
If Kath genuinely meant this, then of course that’s really appreciated, but I’m obviously not going to make her leave her own home and come all the way to ours to then have a 2 hour commute to her work. It’s so over the top and needless. I think that this clearly isn’t a functional solution going forward. What if one day when we want to meet up, Kath has had a long day at work and doesn’t feel like leaving her apartment (obviously, fair enough!), what if she’s got plans with friends in her apartment that evening? In any case, it’s still a situation where rules are being imposed on us, I can never just spontaneously decide to go see Emily one day after work or something. We still can’t come and go freely in the same way they have been doing for the past two months. It would be much better to understand why exactly it’s such a problem and see how we’re going to find a long-term solution, instead of Kath just running away from it.
The cynical side of me was wondering if Kath was just saying this knowing that neither me or Emily are realistically going to make her leave her own home, and if we do agree to it, then she can say “oh look how inconsiderate they are, making me leave my own home just so that they can be in the apartment”, ensuring that she keeps Tom firmly on her side.
Logically, I would’ve thought as time goes on, Kath would eventually get used to the situation and just accept it. Conversely, is it not quite understandable that the longer we have rules imposed on us, the more frustrated we become?
Once again say that I won’t go over and tell him that I won’t press this issue for the time being.
Late April
So now we get to the latest development in the situation, which is the crux of this post.
For the next month or so after that conversation with Tom, me and Emily have just been following our instructions and not pressed anything, whilst they continue coming and going as they please. One weekend we’re talking about the whole ‘Kath situation’ and we say “okay we’ve left it for a while now, it’s probably time to see how we’re going to move forward with this”.
In that next week, Emily sends Kath the following message:
“Hey, I appreciate this message might be uncomfortable but we need to discuss the fact that Jake can’t come here while you’re at home because I know that him and Tom have spoken about this but we’ve never addressed it with each other and I think it’s unfair that they’ve been largely absorbing this conflict this whole time. Can you please tell me what the exact problem would be and how we could make it work? At the end of the day we both pay equal rent here and I should be allowed to bring someone over, especially considering that Tom comes here whenever you want. We’re nothing more than just 2 housemates now and if you were living with a stranger from Spareroom such restrictions couldn’t have existed. I think I’ve let it slide and should have addressed it earlier, but it’s time we come up with a fair solution and I’d like to know if there’s anything reasonable we can do. I don’t want to go into other conversations about our fallout cause that’s done and dusted now, I want to strictly address this issue. Would you like some notice before he comes? I can’t always guarantee how far in advance I can let you know but I will do my best to give you enough time.”
Kath’s response:
“hey, I do not really appreciate this conversation being brought up 2 days before my birthday and I wish we can settle it today and not drag it on. And I do not appreciate you using Tom as a weapon to guilt trip me either. Please let me know if he is coming over tonight so that I can go somewhere else. As u probably already know I am in a really bad place at the moment and being in the apartment with both of you makes me feel very uncomfortable and unsafe. I’m already struggling to be there and I have been discussing with the agency about terminating the contract early, the terms have only been made clear to me today so I was going to message you about it. By paying a fee of £660 (£330 each) we can terminate the contract 12^th of June and I wish u will consider this. I will be gone from the apartment for 2 weeks. I would really appreciate it if you do not bring him over in the next few days as I said it will be my birthday and I will be gone for 2 weeks after if you decide to do so after this, please let me know at least 2 days in advance so that I can leave (pack clothes and everything), but do not take advantage of this as it is extremely difficult for me to commute to work – it takes me 2 hours on the bus”
Emily’s response to this:
“I don’t appreciate you using your birthday as a “weapon” to paint me as an inconsiderate person once again as you’re saying you were going to message me anyway about terminating the contract. You always have Tom round without any notice, without ever considering if it was ever uncomfortable for me given what’s happened - but now you expect me to organise our schedule around you? We can’t ever do something spontaneous or simply make plans the day before? Jake won’t be coming tonight or in the next few days until you’re away. I was hoping we could talk about why exactly this makes you uncomfortable and unsafe as it’s quite clear we wouldn’t interact with you or do anything to purposely upset/annoy you. You also had no problem being in his apartment with him without Tom there, so clearly his presence must not be that big of a problem. I am going to get back to you about terminating the contract as I have to figure out where I would go, but I’d love nothing more than to leave this apartment as early as possible too.”
There was no response after Emily’s second message.
Tom comes back to our apartment the next day and ignores me all day until the evening when he asks “Did you know that Emily was going to send those messages?”.
I say “Yes, obviously?”. He responds with “Right, okay” and starts walking back towards his room.
I ask him what was wrong with the messages, and he comes back and says “what the fuck is Emily doing sending messages like that to my suicidal girlfriend?”. He essentially thought the tone of the messages, the proximity to Kath’s birthday and the fact that we’re once again bringing up this issue of me coming round was out of order. He also said that Emily’s 2^nd message was implying that she was just going to bring me round without any notice anyway (looking at the message, no it wasn’t? It was just highlighting the unfairness of Kath expecting us to organise our schedule around her? None of the messages say that I’m going to come over, they are essentially just trying to understand exactly why it makes Kath uncomfortable).
We also did note that it was Kath’s birthday on the Friday (messages were sent on Tuesday). Maybe that wasn’t ideal, but we thought what real difference does it make? This is nothing new, it’s the same situation that’s been ongoing for the last 3 months anyway (and personally, I thought that up until the moment Kath says “okay sorry, I shouldn’t have imposed rules on you” then she shouldn’t expect that this won’t be brought up to her?).
I was a bit shocked at how angry he was and explained that we’re just trying to understand exactly what her issue is, because it still doesn’t make any sense to us. I bring up the general point about Kath imposing rules on people and expects everyone to cater to her feelings, whilst zero consideration has been given to how Emily has felt over the last 3 months, when not only does it make her uncomfortable as well that there are two “hostile presences” in her home, but especially given that those hostile presences have told her she’s not allowed to have equal use of her apartment she also pays rent for.
Tom responds with “but it’s not making Emily feel suicidal is it? Kath was having convulsions on the fucking bed last night after those messages. Why do you keep focusing on this tiny issue of coming to the apartment when my girlfriend is literally suicidal? She’s already said she’d make arrangements to leave the apartment for when you want to come over, and yet you keep pressing the issue and triggering her further”.
In that moment I was a bit taken aback and didn’t have much of a response. I kind of just sat and processed that for a few minutes, thinking “fuck, have I actually been in the wrong this whole time?”. Tom looked exhausted and stressed out, he must have been dealing with Kath’s meltdown the whole of the night before.
I say to Tom “tell Kath not to worry about me coming over while she’s there, I’m not going to, I’ll just leave it for good and won’t press this issue anymore”. Tom doesn’t give much of a response, but I think he says “I appreciate it”. He leaves for his two-week holiday shortly after.
I felt really bad that evening, thinking I had caused Tom to have to deal with whatever horrible meltdown because of me pressing this issue. Maybe I had been overly cynical of Kath, and she genuinely was just trying her best and not meaning to be manipulative.
When Tom got back from his holiday, he basically confirmed our friendship is over because I had known about those messages that caused his girlfriend to feel suicidal.
I’ve thought about the situation a lot since he left for his holiday:
· Looking back at the messages Emily sent, I think the tone is completely fine? Every single person I’ve shown the messages to has said they are actually quite kind and empathetic, and way nicer than they need to be given Kath’s behavior over the last 3 months.
· Tom’s reaction was essentially “how dare Emily have the audacity to ask for a reason why she hasn’t been allowed to have equal use of her own apartment for the last 3 months!”
· It’s true that Tom had mentioned that Kath had been having some suicidal thoughts a month prior, but I didn’t know that this would directly impact that, especially since I thought the message was quite nice and sensitive. Just the weekend before this Tom and Kath were out clubbing, having fun and they were going on holiday later that week. So obviously I didn’t realise she was still feeling so bad. How could anyone expect that simply asking the question of “why does this make you so uncomfortable” would result in this reaction.
· As soon as I did realise how intensely Kath had reacted, and what Tom had had to deal with as a result, I backed off straight away, saying that she doesn’t have to worry, I’m not going to press it anymore.
· Realistically, if this is how Kath reacts to being asked for basic fairness, then I think really she needs to be in a mental health crisis centre or hospital, not just carrying on with everyday life as if everything is fine, and certainly not in a situation where she’s imposing rules on people.
· At the end of the day, Kath’s mental health is not my responsibility, nor is it Tom’s responsibility. I think it’s unfair of Kath to have made it his problem to such a large degree.
Logically, I don’t think I’m in the wrong, and yet Tom’s reaction to this makes me feel like I’m going crazy. That’s why I wrote out everything’s that’s happened from start to finish to “audit” myself and evaluate each of my actions throughout the entire situation. I’ve looked back and don’t think I’m in the wrong for anything I’ve done. The only explanation I can think of is that Tom has been so deep in all of Kath’s mental health stuff 24/7 that he’s just not thinking clearly about this situation.

i’ve had my pc for a while now and recently in the past few weeks it has been lagging really hard just opening basic programs or even just on start up to the point where it’s frozen and i have to restart numerous times to be able to use my pc at all and even so, it works only for a couple hours at most before it freezes again. today i tried booting it up after coming home and it showed the blue screen saying windows hasn’t loaded correctly straight away and i can’t even get past the login screen every time i restart my pc. i’ve tried searching for solutions online like safe booting and updating my drivers but so far nothing has actually solved the problem for good. turning to reddit before considering getting someone to have a look at it in person so any help would be greatly appreciated!! 🤧

We are Involved in a Criminal Case (Maybe). It's June 2023, And I Was Staying The Night At My Cousin's House. Tommorow Was Eid Ul Adha, A Holiday For All The Muslims Like Me. So We Plan It To Celebrate At My Grandma's House That Was Only Like 5 Kilometers From My Cousin's House.
The Next Day, We Got To My Grandma's House, It Turns Out That Our Entire Family Was There! It Was Fun, We Pray At The Mosque, We Celebrate, Eat.. But Things Started To Get Weird When We Got Home From The Mosque.
The Mosque We Pick Was A Mosque Near My Grandma's House, So We Can Just Walk To Got There, But When We Got Home From There, We See Some Weird Man With A Hoodie Spray Painting A Wall And Burning A Really Big Mountain Bike. But Right After That, I Got A Spam Call From An Unknown Stranger.
Me And The Entire Family Was Forced To Stop At A Cafe Because We Realize That Someone Follows Us And I'm Pretty Sure He Was One Of The Guy With The Hoodie Burning The Bike Earlier..
We Try To Act Normally In The Cafe, But That Guy Still Following Us. So We Quickly Run To My Grandma's House With Panic And We Immediately Lock The Door As Soon As We Got Home From There. It's Very Common To See People Like That In My City. In Fact Just 3 Days Before That Eid Ul Adha, We Got An Information That One Of Our Neighbor Has Just Gone Missing, Possibly Kidnapped By The Creepy Hoodie Guys. But It Just A Rumour.
That Hoodie Man Is Still Chasing Us, But We Make A Plan And Our Family Was Escaping From The Backyard With Our Car, But 5 People Have A Mission To Stay In The House And Defend While My Cousin Is Bringing The Family To A Secure Place.
So He Picked Me, And 4 Of My Cousins Let's Say Their Name Is Josh (21 Years Old), Daud (15 Years Old), Randy (8 Years Old), And Sam (12 Years Old)
And Yes, This Was As Dramatic As It Is, And I Even Record Footages Of The Hoodie Guy And We're Ready To Report To The Police About This Strange Guy At Our Yard.
Finally, We Got To Safe Place And Not Longer After That, We Came Back Home And Decides To Sleep Overnight In Our Grandma's House In Case Something Weird Happened.
Now In That Night, I Immediately Fell Asleep, But The Next Morning, Randy, Josh, Daud, And Sam Said They Didn't Sleep And Hear A Footstep From The Attic, But They're Scared To Check So They Fell Asleep Too, Except Daud.
Daud Is A Little Bit Naughty Guy So He Wakes Up And Explores The Attic A Little Bit.
And He Actually Saw One Person Wearing A Mask Trying To Broke Our Attic's Window With A Knife. Daud Immediately Screams And Wakes Up The Entire Family.
Daud Said The Man Is Gone And The Glass Is Safe, But He Did Saw It Happened.
So We Immediately Call Police And Some Neighbors To Help. And The Story Is Over.
And It Was Like 1am In The Morning So We Immediately Sleep And To This Day, I Hope No Crimes Will Be In Our Grandma's House. Because Trying To Break Into Someone's Home Is A Crime Bro...

Tarot Reader since 2017 who has fully mastered in depth readings to bring true insight to the energies and circumstances you are dealing with, with the use of Oracle and Astrology as well. Shaneka's Services And Contact Linktree
get a tarot reading
how often should you get a tarot reading
should i get a tarot reading
is it good to get a tarot reading
how much does it cost to get a tarot reading
how often should i get a tarot reading
best time to get a tarot reading
reasons to get a tarot reading
where can i get a tarot reading
why you should get a tarot reading
get a tarot reading online
getting a tarot reading in a dream
how to get the tarot card at arasaka tower
how to get the tarot card above misty
what age can you get a tarot reading
how to ask for a tarot reading
ways to do a tarot reading
how to get tarot reading
what to do if you get a bad tarot reading
what to know before getting a tarot reading
what to expect when getting a tarot reading
get a tarot reading for free
a tarot reader
is it bad to get a tarot card reading
when you get a bad tarot reading
best tarot cards to get in a love reading
can you get a bad tarot reading
how to get a better tarot reading
can you get a tarot reading online
where can i get a tarot card reading
can i get a free tarot reading online
how often should you get a tarot card reading
get a tarot card reading
worst cards to get in a tarot reading
what do you get from a tarot reading
i got a tarot card reading
i want a tarot reading
i need a tarot reading
how to get a free tarot reading
what is a general tarot reading
when should i get a tarot reading
how long should a tarot reading be
how to get a tarot reading
how many times can you get a tarot reading
how to get the most out of a tarot reading
how to get a good tarot reading
is it safe to get a tarot reading
when is the best time to get a tarot reading
why get a tarot reading
learn tarot reading near me
what happens when you get a tarot reading
where to get a tarot reading near me
get a card reader natwest
buy tarot card near me
when not to get a tarot reading
what to get a tarot reading on
buy tarot card online
quick tarot reading
questions to ask when getting a tarot reading
questions for a tarot reading
should you get a tarot reading
getting a tarot reading
what to do when you get tarot cards
get a reading with theresa caputo
where to get a tarot reading
x tarot reversed
z tarot
1 tarot card reading
2 tarot card reading
2 card tarot reading free
2 card tarot spreads
3 tarot reading
3 card reading tarot free
3 card tarot reading new age store
3 card tarot reading questions
4 card tarot reading free
4 tarot card reading
4 tarot card reading meaning
5 card tarot reading free
5 card reading tarot
6 card tarot reading free
how to read a 6 card tarot spread
6 card reading tarot
6 card relationship tarot spread
7 tarot reading
7 card tarot reading free
7 card tarot reading free online
8 card tarot reading
8 card spread tarot reading
9 card tarot reading
how to read a 9 card tarot spread
psychic reading
psychic reading near me
psychic reading free
psychic reading online
free psychic reading by date of birth and time
psychic reading free love
psychic reading cards
psychic readings by danielle
psychic readings by alicia
psychic reading meaning
eva tarot psychic reading
rebecca's psychic reading ted lasso
free psychic reading app
psychic reading ai
psychic reading apple pay
psychic reading banner
bali psychic reading
bobby brown psychic reading
benefits of psychic reading
bts psychic reading
birth chart psychic reading
best psychic reading
psychic reading cards meaning
psychic reading cards deck
daily psychic reading free
dallas psychic reading nyc
david schultz psychic reading
dark psychic reading
dangers of psychic reading
psychic reading elijah vue
psychic readings near me
psychic reading near me open now
elijah vue psychic reading
empress chain spiritual psychic reading
ethical psychic reading
email free psychic reading
experienced psychic reading
elsa psychic reading
psychic reading for taurus
psychic reading for today
psychic reading for riley strain
psychic reading for 2024
psychic reading free by date of birth
psychic reading flyers
psychic reading for aries
psychic reading for elijah vue
free psychic reading for love
free psychic reading cards
free psychic reading for leo
fertility psychic reading free
free psychic reading for virgo
free psychic reading for libra
free psychic reading for cancer
free psychic reading for taurus
psychic reading generator
psychic reading gif
psychic reading german
psychic reading gold creek
gemini psychic reading
gretchen fleming psychic reading
ghost psychic reading
goddess elite psychic reading
kelsey grammer psychic reading
sal governale psychic reading
psychic reading hannah mount sinai
psychic reading hoodie xplr
headache after psychic reading
horoscope psychic reading
howard stern sal psychic reading
henry cavill psychic reading
hand psychic reading
psychic reading in st louis mo
psychic reading in weymouth
impractical jokers psychic reading episode
i get a free psychic reading
i free psychic reading
psychic reading jobs online
psychic reading joslin smith
psychic reader joyce
psychic reader jerry
tarot reading jobs
tarot reading jakarta
tarot reading jobs from home
tarot reading jobs near me
tarot reading journal
tarot reading jobs remote
jungkook psychic reading
joslin smith psychic reading
january psychic reading
jade psychic and tarot reading cape town
kate middleton psychic reading youtube
kyle psychic reading
kim porter psychic reading
kim's psychic reading room
kris jenner psychic reading
kim kardashian psychic reading
kpop psychic reading
kelsey psychic reading
princess kate psychic reading
psychic reading lounge reviews
psychic reading ltd
love psychic reading free
libra psychic reading
leo psychic reading
love psychic reading free by date of birth
live psychic reading free online
love psychic reading online
leo psychic reading today
psychic reading meaning in hindi
psychic reading malaysia
psychic reading malvern
psychic reading meaning in hindi with example
morgan nick psychic reading
matthew perry psychic reading
my psychic reading today
psychic reading near scarborough
nebula psychic reading
nebula astrology and psychic reading
turkish coffee psychic reading near me
yes or no psychic reading
psychic reading online free
psychic reading online cards
psychic reading on riley strain
psychic reading on elijah vue
psychic reading on samantha murphy
online psychic reading manchester
old port maine psychic reading
online psychic reading
psychic reading pathfinder
psychic reading pismo beach photos
psychic reading pismo beach reviews
psychic reading princess kate
psychic reading quiz
tarot reading questions
tarot reading quotes
tarot reading questions about love
tarot reading quiz
spiritual reading quotes
tarot reading questions about career
tarot reading questions about life
tarot reading queen of cups
tarot reading quezon city
question psychic reading
relationship psychic reading questions
que significa psychic reading
que es psychic reading
psychic reading riley strain
psychic reading royal family
relationship psychic reading free
rebecca welton psychic reading
ryan shtuka psychic reading
random psychic reading
rose renee psychic reading
cameron robbins psychic reading
psychic reading spotify
psychic reading shirt
psychic reading shreveport
psychic reading today
psychic reading tube top
psychic reading template
turkish coffee psychic reading
ted lasso rebecca psychic reading
tarot psychic reading near me
tea leaf psychic reading
today's psychic reading
turkish coffee psychic reading nyc
true love psychic reading
tiktok psychic reading
taurus psychic reading
psychic reading ubud
tarot reading ubud
tarot reading using playing cards
tarot reading uk free
tarot reading upside down cards
tarot reading uluwatu
spiritual reading ubud
tarot reading unique
tarot reading utah
tarot reading udemy
unintentional psychic reading
online psychic reading us
psychic reader reading uk
psychic reading in urdu
virgo psychic reading
valentine psychic reading
vicki psychic reading
vivid psychic reading
vampire psychic reading
psychic reading with playing cards
what is psychic reading
xplr psychic reading hoodie
x-men psychics
x and y psychic pokemon
x psychopath reader
psychic reading yes or no
tarot reading yes or no
tarot reading youtube
tarot reading yes or no accurate
tarot reading youtube channels
tarot reading yes or no in hindi
tarot reading yes or no horoscope
tarot reading yourself
tarot reading yellow springs
yellow pages psychic reading
can you share your psychic reading
psychic reading 100
psychic reading 101
tarot reading 100 accurate
tarot reading 10 card spread
tarot reading 101
tarot reading 1 card
tarot reading 10 cards
tarot reading 111
tarot reading 10 of cups
tarot reading 1111
1.99 for 10 minutes psychic reading
10 minute psychic reading for $1
2024 psychic reading
psychic number 2 meaning
2 of pentacles psychic revelation
2 of wands psychic revelation
2 swords psychic revelation
tarot reading 3 card spread
tarot reading 3 cards
tarot reading 3 of cups
tarot reading 333
tarot reading 3 kings
tarot reading 31st
tarot reading $35
psychic number 3 meaning
flight 370 psychic reading
3 of swords psychic revelation
3 of pentacles psychic revelation
3 of wands psychic revelation
43551 psychic reading
4 psychic number
4 swords psychic revelation
4 of pentacles psychic revelation
tarot reading 5 card spread
tarot reading 5 of cups
psychic empath 5 books in 1
tarot reading 6 cards
tarot reading 6 of swords
tarot reading 6 of cups
psychic revelation 6 of wands
tarot reading 7
tarot reading 7 card spread
tarot reading 7 of cups
tarot reading 7 of swords
tarot reading 77084
psychic readings 90
tarot reading 9 card spread
tarot reading 94538

Does this cover damage to my property/vehicles?
My girlfriend and I rented a 26ft uhual (both are listed as drivers) and she could not wait for me to get home and moved the truck into our driveway herself and caused damage to our home (rent to own from family member), and backed into one of my business vehicles as well as my pickup. I'm livid but does safe move plus cover any damage to the fence/gate, grill guard/front bumper to my pickup or the dooside panels of my company service truck?

Hey, Im Daniel and im 22. September 2023 i was 120kg(264 pounds), And this is the story of how i went from 120kg(39.6% bf) to 76kg(19.8% bf) in only 4 months.
My routine used to be, wake up, gaming for 18h straight, 2L Coca Cola and eating shit everyday, till i saw a Brazillian guy on youtube, his youtube channel is called "Space Today", And he started a project with some other professional bodybuilder youtubers, he started at 180kg and i was like "huh, if he can do it, why wouldn't i be able to? he's starting line is way above mine." so i went to my local gym, took some nutricionism advices online for better understanding of food, and used some apps like Myfitnesspal or Fatsecret, to know how many calories each food had, bought a scale to weight my food 1 by 1 and did everything perfectly. I used to workout like a madman, my new routine was, wake up at 7 a.m, fasting, go to gym and do cardio, and then muscle training, I was eating 1300 calories a day and my total expenditure was like 3000/3400, that in the beggining.
A few months go by, and i started to get heated up on things, started working out 2 times a day, 1h 30m cardio in the morning, 1h 30m muscle workout at noon, every single day, i was greedy, i wanted it, i trained like it was my last day on earth, heavy training at that, 20km running every day, 140kg squat, 400kg leg press, 100kg bench, i was pretty satisfied with my numbers with only 3 to 4 months of training. One day i looked at the mirror and i could the infamous 6 pack starting to get form, imagine, took me 21 years to get 120kg and only 4 months to get lean, pretty good huh? So, i kept increasing weights, at this point (by my 3rd month) i was eating 1800kcal already cuz i thought i was spending way too much and giving in way too little, but i didnt wanted to exagerate. It reached a point i was training 6 days a week, and only sunday off because the gym was closed on that day, so i would go in the park near my house and start running.
By the end of January, i was running my usual 20 to 25km daily, when i suddenly felt something wrong, it wasnt just muscle pain on my legs that i felt, i stopped the treadmill and looked down confused, it was hurting like hell but i didnt care, just felt like it was a bad day and went home, prepared for afternoon workout and went to the gym, walking with a lot of pain but i couldnt afford to care. Kept doing my workout as usual day by day but with a lot of pain, till one day i was in the treadmill, and i had to stop by the kilometer 2 or 3 because of extreme pain, i couldnt run anymore, so i kept walking on the treadmill, like i said before, i didnt care at all about pain, people used to look at me, i was smiling while running and at the same time looking like i was about to just drop on the floor dying, you dont know the feeling of being depleted of energy but keep going at it till you try it... But in this day in specific it was different, i couldnt run anymore, nor walk, nor nothing, i seated in the treadmill and when i tried to get back up i couldnt, it was pain in the lowerback(lumbar) radiating to the legs, i felt that everyday specially on leg days, but never at this level of pain, this time i couldnt get up at all, so my friend called the PT'S and they decided to call an ambulance. i did a TAC analysis in the hospital, and they discovered degenerative herniated disk and several damaged sciatic nerves. I'm that type of guy that doesnt cry for anything, but I started crying when they told me i couldnt work out anymore and that i would need a cirurgy to replace the damaged disks...
You dont know what it is until it happens to you... Its so frustrating, in the start, you do it because you need to do it in order to lose fat, but when you start to see progress, you start to have fun with it, it stops being an obligation and starts being a fun hobby. They use to say that "in your highest times is when the devil comes for you", and i felt exactly that, in a moment, i was happy for the first time in life with my self and my body, and 1 minute later i had nothing.
Sorry for the big text, all this to say, its not worth it guys, take it slow, do a diet where you do a decent deficit, cutting 500kcal is okay, its not worth it going under 2000kcal, you dont need to cut half your calories, your body needs nutrients in order to function properly, Think of your body like a car, it needs gasoline to keep going, but it also needs oil, and manuntention, etc. I felt a lot of times out of strenght, i just kept going because in my mind was some David Goggins type of shit, "Do or die", "Imagine if this weight was a car and your mom's below it, push it or she'll get crushed" type of mentality you know? But what for? The best advice i can give you is, loosing weight is extremely easy, like i said, 21 years to get to 120 and 4 months to get back to 76, and if i had done it safely, probably could've achieved close to that number, like 85 or 80, with an even better physique, cuz will all this cardio training i lost tons of muscle mass. Remember, your body needs to rest, its not a machine, the world wont end tomorrow, you have plenty of time no matter your age, forget about being meso, meta or endomorph, everyone can do it, just change your habits little by little, and when it comes to food you dont need to change it at all, just control your portions, inform yourself with useful data. There are a lot of fake influencers but, also good ones like Dr.Mike or Paul Revelia or Lee Lem, they give plenty of healthy advices for free on how to achieve your ideal body % and realistic time to get it.
Thank you for having patience to read through all this. If i could go back in time, i would've done everything differently, being greedy was my biggest mistake, but if you are fat right now, i know you understand what were my thoughts, i just wanted to get rid of all that fat. In the end, it wasn't worth it guys. Stay safe!

I recently adopted an 8 year old male neutered cat from a kill shelter. It was "kitten season" so they were "making room" and I on a whim adopted him so he would not die. I know cats need time to warm up... but I'm concerned he may never? He is all bones, I don't know his story other than he lived in NYC with 2 adults and 2 other cats and the adults surrendered only him. He is so scared he sleeps inside the litter box. I keep taking him out gently placing him in his cat bed (which I have now taken the top of the litter box off and placed over his bed to try and give him more comfort of hiding in his bed? He does not try to interact or check things out. I try to pet him and talk gently to him and brush him (he is part maine coon) and he doesn't seem to enjoy it like my other cat does. Can a cat be too far gone to ever coexist with humans? Regardless I will still give him the best home I can to live his days out. I just spent a bunch of money to make a safe space for him to feel like he can go to hide... but I do hope eventually he will come out?

MAIN ISSUE IS GIVEN WITH "‼️‼️" BELOW AND THE FIRST CHEATING EVENT IS GIVEN BELOW IN 🚩🚩🚩
THIS IS JUST BACKGROUND Hi guys, I am going through a dilemma. I (25 F) and my husband (30 M) are both Pakistani and live in the Gulf. We had our paper marriage, aka Nikkah, in 2017 and got married, i.e., moved into his house, in 2019. We've known each other since 2016, and this was a love marriage. My husband went against his parents' wishes to get married to me, whereas my family is very supportive of whatever choices I make.
During COVID, I moved into my parents' house because of my two younger brothers, 15 and 12 at that time, as my parents got stuck in our home country for six months. My husband would spend four days with me and four days with his parents, i.e., peak COVID lockdown in 2020. Since I've known my husband, this is the first time I accidentally found out his phone password, whereas he always insisted on having all of my social media passcodes in the past.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Anyways, I opened up his Snapchat without any malicious intent to check out his phone to get a few couple photos that we took on his phone, and Snapchat showed memories of last year of the same date. It was with some Filipinos (nothing against them, but where I live, they are usually considered as sex workers). I went and checked the old photos, and I saw that he had pictures with a lot of random women and specifically with his ex-girlfriend in the year 2018. They both had taken a lot of selfies from his sitting very close to each other in bars and even alone in the car, again very close to each other in his arms. I also found out he was asking Filipino their rates for sex work,and he also met one of them in his car and went to meet one in a mall during peak COVID lockdown.
Anyways, I didn't plan to talk to him about it because I was newly wed and didn't want to face consequences, and I thought he might stop on his own. Fast forward a few months later, my parents came back safely, and I moved back into my husband's house with his parents, and this is the time when I first actually started living with them, and within a few weeks, my FIL came to hit me with a shoe when I refused to give him my phone as a punishment for using it so often.
Anyways, things started escalating a lot, and my husband and I were having regular fights because of his parents always crossing boundaries. Then one day, we had a fight, and in the heat of the moment, I accidentally said out about his affairs. So we talked about it, and he said that he met his ex-girlfriend just like a friend as she came back from her home country after a long time, and he was asking for rates of Filipinos for his single friend. When I asked about what did you do with the Filipino you picked up in the car, he said that they just ate shawarmas by the seaside. I was naive and I bought into his narrative, even though I agreed to believe in his story,the uneasy feeling never left to the point where I refuse to have a child with him as I don't think I have a secure future with him.
Due to his parents bickering all the time, I finally snapped back at them, and they made a huge deal out of it and threw me out of the house, and my husband and I both went no contact for one whole year as I demanded a separate house even if I have to face hunger. When we did finally talk again, he convinced me that this won't happen again from his parents' side, and he will start fulfilling my basic rights as a wife, i.e., fulfilling my basic needs, maintaining peace, and protecting.
During this whole time, my father was the one who fulfilled all my basic needs. Anyways, I moved back in with him at the end of 2021, and he did not stay true to his word. He still picks out fights, his parents still shout, scream at me occasionally, and he only gives me a bare minimum monthly allowance, which is not enough for me, and I still have to end up asking my father for money. Please keep in mind I am a university student, and my father pays for all car maintenance, university fees, and essential needs, and the amount that my husband gives me usually goes out in just fuel and a few meals in university.
Anyways, the point is that coming back to his house in 2021 till the end of 2023, we used to constant fights mostly because of his anger issues and just generally being rude and in a bad mood all the time. I had to beg him crying to change his behavior towards me and to be nicer to me when talks, or else I will have no other option than to leave him. He did become nicer for three months until he started being rude again for over daily routine issues until his family was hit by a huge crisis due to his younger brother's fault. That's when he became polite to me again.
‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ THE MAIN ISSUE My main dilemma, after all of these ups downs, I really thought I was seeing some improvement in him, and I was finally feeling optimistic about my future with him, but I guess God has some other plans. He accidentally forgot to lock his phone last month, and I found out he had been texting sex workers again and asking their prices. He was also in contact with a girl, let's call her J, via Snapchat since 2021 till now, and only a few chats were saved in one which he was begging to convince her that I am not his wife rather his sister. Apparently, J saw me and husband out somewhere. I let all of this go again since I thought it's pointless bringing this up as things are now improving. Two weeks after me finding out, I randomly get a dick pic from my husband at 4 am when I was sleeping next to him, and he was awake and came back from a night out with his friends. When I woke up, my husband was asleep; I found it very suspicious since we don't get these kinds of pictures anymore. He forgot to lock his phone again and LO AND BEHOLD he sent the same dick pic to her with me literally sleeping next to him. What fathoms me the most is that how could he not feel any shame with me laying next to him.
Anyways, I talked about it a few days later, and he basically told me that he was trying to check J's loyalty for his friend. Please keep in mind his friend is also married and has 3-4 kids. I asked my husband why did you do it for your friend when you should have understood it the first time I caught you and made an issue out of it, and he said I thought that I would understand him doing all this for a friend, and I should've specifically asked him to stop doing it for his friends if I have such issues. Anyways, a part of me wants to believe his bullshit story, but a part of me knows that he is trying to manipulate me again as I can't even why a person who went against his parents' wishes would literally go out of his way to ruin his marriage. Does he want me to initiate the divorce so that he doesn't get the blame? WTF is it I am so confused, and I would most definitely will never have a child with a person who cheats.

So last night my boyfriend found one of our ducks had sadly passed away. The body was still in tact but a leg did look snapped. When I went out there this morning the body was still there. We think the death happened in the day while we were at work cause we didn't hear anything when we were home.
1) how do I dispose of the body? 2) how do I protect my ducks during the day (we lock them up in a pen at night) 3) should we get more ducks so they all feel safe again?

I heard on here before that you can do your own dental hygienist style cleanings at home. Can anyone advise me on products and how to do this? I have not seen any dental professionals since 2019. Most of my life I have not needed any dental care besides exams and cleanings, and I've been super COVID concerned since the start due to dealing with long COVID with POTS since 2020, so between the dangers involved in taking your mask off and all the bad health issues with long COVID I have dealt with I haven't prioritized trying to find a new dentist that is slightly safer than others (the last one I saw I'm 100% sure would suck, being typical south Brooklyn white right-wingers). It's just has not been something I've had the energy for. But if I do some cleanings at home, that'd be great. Alternately if someone can tell me a dentist office that will definitely be very COVID safe currently operating in NYC that takes UFT dental, that'd be great!

Tldr: upcoming protection order court case against my father, my mother is refusing to get involved (which I understand) and placing the blame of the situation equally on my father (abuser) and my sibling and I
Backstory In November 2023, my sibling k(nb21) and I (nb27) were living at home and had to go to court for a safety order against our father after an explosive episode that ended in the police being called Noone was hurt that time but multiple threats were made and I had to remove my siblings from the situation. He has a history of physical, emotional, mental and verbal abuse with all three of us and my mother
I finally closed on the house I was buying in December and moved out immediately, going NC with my father. K still lives at home but has managed to avoid any danger for now (I can't currently take them in)
Next month, my sibling and I have to go to court to either withdraw the protection orders or have them made permanent, I plan to withdraw mine since he is out of my life, K plans to ask for a permanent protection order (all this would do is give the police the power to arrest my father temporarily should he be a danger to koda again)
My mother visited recently and the topic of the court date came up, she has said that she refuses to get involved and won't pick a side
I can't quite figure out my feelings on this, to me it should be an easy choice, all were asking for is a piece of paper that keeps us safe from abuse, my extended family have not reacted well and believe we are just "acting out" and the lack of support from my mother has devastated me honestly . She has made it very clear that she thinks our actions of going to the court for a safety order are just as bad as his recent abusive episode. If it had been a one time occurrence, we wouldn't have felt like we had to but it's been going on intermittently for as long as I can remember
I'm beginning to think I might need to go low contact with her, I am already very low contact with my extended family
I guess I'd just like some advice from anyone who has gone through something similar with a family member protecting the abusive parent over their kids

Not new to fl, but new to the area (relocated from Ocala). Question, are the rando coconut trees safe to harvest from?
I’m not talking from peoples yards but on the trees along sidewalks (close to the road with sidewalk being between the tree and any homes).
I have seen more than a few king orange coconut trees that are ALMOST ready but I didn’t wanna get in trouble or sick.
Shameless plug: If y’all need wheels or tires go to RNR on N Military. A friend of mine is there and they are now under new management and will 100% take care of you.

Back story: I am a single 38m that's been homeless for the last seven months with my dog. We have been staying in motel rooms and my car with a little help from friends here and there. I have no family to lean on because of the abuse I went through. I do have a full-time job but it doesn't pay enough with the cost of living here in this city.
My dog has been my companion for the last 5 years. He sleeps with me at night. We play together outside. He's been a support for me when I have feelings of being abandoned and unloved. When I take care of him, I have the drive to take care of myself.
Despite all these benefits my dog offers me, I am unable to get him registered as an emotional support animal (ESA). (I have done EXTENSIVE research on this and pursued this option with several licensed clinicians.)
I was only officially diagnosed with GAD about seven years ago. But I am convinced I was wrongly diagnosed. I took a personality test back in March and I am STILL waiting on my therapist to finish her report and discuss the results. I highly suspect I have BPD and ADHD, which would explain many of the difficulties I am having.
Last Sunday, my money dried up and I had to move out of the motel room we've been staying in. I've been in my car the last three days, been unable to go to work, and all because I still have my dog.
How is my dog keeping me from going to work? Let me explain. My dog, a boxer mix, needs a safe place to stay for 10 hours a day. It is against company policy to leave him in my car in their parking lot while I go inside. Even if I peridoically check on him and give him plenty of water, leaving him in a hot car is very dangerous. So this is not an option.
Why don't I get a friend to watch him during the day? I have reached out to multiple people over a span of several months. No one has the means to take care of him while I go to work. He doesn't require much care; just give him a fenced in plot of land and he'll run around all day. But, still,no one is able to or willing to help me.
Why not surrender or rehome him? I've been fighting this option for as long as I could. The moment I finally decided to give him up is also the moment I learned no one will take him. Animal shelters and the Humane Association are full. Additionally, they only accept surrenders from local residents. They determine this ONLY by either my car registration or my driver's license. Because I do not have a permanent address and what is listed on them is from another state (U.S.), they will not take him. I have also posted online for help and rehoming. No luck there either.
The moment I am forever apart from my dog is the same moment I'm admitting myself to a hospital and that would be a minimum 72 hour visit. But the pain of being forced to abandon my best friend is unbearable. Why am I forced to cause him to suffer so I can continue to live? It doesn't seem fair. He is not a bad dog in any way. But no one will take him and give him a good home. And as much as I have tried, I can't take care of him anymore.
I feel like a major failure.