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2024.05.16 06:02 Direct-Caterpillar77 my boss enlists me in hiding his multiple affairs from his wife
my boss enlists me in hiding his multiple affairs from his wife
Originally posted to Ask A Manager
TRIGGER WARNING: infidelity, abuse of authority
Original Post Jan 30, 2017
My boss is having multiple affairs. I am his assistant, so I know about all his visitors and his schedule. He is married, but he often has visits from two different women, and he outright told me to never tell his wife about them. When either of them visit, he locks his door and tells me he is not to be disturbed. This happens almost weekly.
He sometimes asks me to book local hotel rooms for an hour or an afternoon, and he sometimes buys jewelry and flowers for the two women he sees regularly. I know this because he sends me out to pick up the jewelry (which I later see them wearing) or asks me to have the flowers sent to them. He never does anything like this for his wife. One of the women just had a baby who is named after my boss and has his surname.
One time, his wife showed up for a surprise visit to take him out to lunch, and he directed me to lie that the woman who was in his office was there for a job interview. He also submits expenses from his business trips (where he has traveled alone) and I have to re-calculate everything because he has upgraded the company-provided hotel room to a better one on his personal credit card and bought breakfast for more than one person the next morning. When this happens, he tells me he had “company.” There was also an incident where he came to work panicked because he said he accidentally used his company credit card at a strip club. He sent me to retrieve it and pay his tab with cash, but the address he sent me to was actually a massage parlor.
Normally I honestly don’t care what people do in their own private lives, but I hate that I’m part of his lies to his wife. She is a nice person and she is dealing with a heart condition that just required surgery. I know they don’t have an open relationship because my boss lies to her and also directs me to lie to her about his actions. He says she can never know. I get sick whenever I think about what he is doing. I know a way I can out him to his wife anonymously. Do you think I should let her know, or is this none of my business and I need to stay out of it?
Update March 9, 2017
Two days after you published my letter, my boss was served with divorce papers here at work. His wife publicly outed his affairs, and she sent copies of emails and text messages sent between him and the two women he was having affairs with, as well as one of the escorts he was seeing regularly, to some people here at our office (including me), his relatives, and some of their friends. She also sent these to the two women and the escort, and some of their relatives and colleagues at work. The texts and emails prove that all three of them not only knew he was married but that he was seeing other women besides each one of them. They also include his acknowledgement he fathered a child outside of his marriage and evidence he used funds from the joint account and his wife’s pay to spend money on them, as well as for the random women he cheated with when he was out of town on business.
His wife has filed alienation of affection lawsuits against the two women and the escort he was cheating with regularly. All of three of them kept calling and coming to see him here at work to confront him after they were outed to people and served with the lawsuit papers, and I heard them talking (sometimes yelling) about it each time and him saying his wife moved out the day he was served with divorce papers and he has no way to contact except through her lawyer (hey have no children and apparently she has cut all contact).
I played dumb the entire time and no one, including his wife, has accused me of knowing anything or asked me if I did.
Before all of this happened, after reading your response and the responses in the comments, I decided to seriously start looking for another job. The same week my letter was published, there was an opening inside my company for a receptionist in a different division. The company usually posts jobs internally before they look externally, and since I’m classified as admin and the posting is for an administrative position, I didn’t have to apply and could just put in for a transfer.
They gave it to me, and I have been in my new job for two weeks now. I love it so far. I spend all day on the phone with people or talking with people who have come in to see or meet with my colleagues. The division has over 100 people, so while I have a screen where I can search for people by name and receive memos and things through email, I don’t have a computer that I am stuck staring at for hours a day. It’s definitely not for everyone but I love dealing with people all day and having no other responsibilities or a mountain of tasks or paperwork to do. My new colleagues have been welcoming and while everyone is talking about what is going on with my boss, no one has brought me into the drama and it only gets talked about around me the same as it would any other person. I don’t engage in any gossip and I certainly don’t talk about what I know, even though no one has asked.
I now have set hours, don’t ever have to work outside of those hours (no overtime or weekends or holidays) and no company cell phone. Since all my work involves dealing with people during working hours at work, I couldn’t do work at home even if I wanted to. Work is now separate from home, and overall I am much more relaxed because I have a clear line between working and not working and I don’t have to deal with my boss and his drama any more.
Thank you for your response to my question and to all the people who were supportive in the comments. I felt better knowing my feelings were valid and I wasn’t overreacting or wrong to be upset.
(Also there was some speculation in the comments about whether my boss could be engaging in some kind of embezzlement or falsifying because he had me separating expenses. There was nothing like that going on. The company has a policy where they will reimburse business expenses put on personal debit or credit cards. Non-work expenses are not allowed to be on company cards. So if the company paid for a hotel room when my boss traveled on business and he upgraded to a better room, the company would only reimburse or pay the original room price and he would have to pay for the rest of the upgrade. I would separate personal and work expenses before submitting them. This is in line with the company handbook and everyone always does it this way. There were no issues with him or me because of it. As for him using the company credit card at the massage parlor, they are legal where we are and since he had the charges reversed the same day and submitted proof of the reversal, the company never had an issue because he followed policy and hadn’t used the card for anything illegal.)
Final Update Oct 20, 2017
My former boss was fired. His wife outed a fourth woman for sleeping with him, same as the others. She works here. Having an affair with a subordinate and the multiple yelling matches with the other three women here at the office was enough to get him fired. The fourth woman was married (unlike the other three) and her husband filed for divorce after she was outed. She took job somewhere else but left amicably and was not fired like my former boss was. At least two of the women his wife was suing are settling with her to avoid it going to trial. The yelling matches he was having made it clear she wasn’t using the lawsuits as a bargaining chip and would not drop them in exchange for stuff from him.
Now that both he and the woman from here that he was having an affair with are gone, things have calmed down. No one has mentioned the affair in weeks and everything here is boring again. I don’t mind the lack of gossip and am still enjoying my new job and great colleagues. I got a small bonus at my yearly review because my boss was so happy with my work. I love my new colleagues and they have been nothing but welcoming to me.
(Also there was speculation in the comments in my first update about whether his wife outed the escort for her affair or being an escort. The answer is both. I don’t agree with her actions but I empathize with how much pain the affairs have caused her.)
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7
submitted by Direct-Caterpillar77 to BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]
Originally posted to Ask A Manager
TRIGGER WARNING: infidelity, abuse of authority
Original Post Jan 30, 2017
My boss is having multiple affairs. I am his assistant, so I know about all his visitors and his schedule. He is married, but he often has visits from two different women, and he outright told me to never tell his wife about them. When either of them visit, he locks his door and tells me he is not to be disturbed. This happens almost weekly.
He sometimes asks me to book local hotel rooms for an hour or an afternoon, and he sometimes buys jewelry and flowers for the two women he sees regularly. I know this because he sends me out to pick up the jewelry (which I later see them wearing) or asks me to have the flowers sent to them. He never does anything like this for his wife. One of the women just had a baby who is named after my boss and has his surname.
One time, his wife showed up for a surprise visit to take him out to lunch, and he directed me to lie that the woman who was in his office was there for a job interview. He also submits expenses from his business trips (where he has traveled alone) and I have to re-calculate everything because he has upgraded the company-provided hotel room to a better one on his personal credit card and bought breakfast for more than one person the next morning. When this happens, he tells me he had “company.” There was also an incident where he came to work panicked because he said he accidentally used his company credit card at a strip club. He sent me to retrieve it and pay his tab with cash, but the address he sent me to was actually a massage parlor.
Normally I honestly don’t care what people do in their own private lives, but I hate that I’m part of his lies to his wife. She is a nice person and she is dealing with a heart condition that just required surgery. I know they don’t have an open relationship because my boss lies to her and also directs me to lie to her about his actions. He says she can never know. I get sick whenever I think about what he is doing. I know a way I can out him to his wife anonymously. Do you think I should let her know, or is this none of my business and I need to stay out of it?
Update March 9, 2017
Two days after you published my letter, my boss was served with divorce papers here at work. His wife publicly outed his affairs, and she sent copies of emails and text messages sent between him and the two women he was having affairs with, as well as one of the escorts he was seeing regularly, to some people here at our office (including me), his relatives, and some of their friends. She also sent these to the two women and the escort, and some of their relatives and colleagues at work. The texts and emails prove that all three of them not only knew he was married but that he was seeing other women besides each one of them. They also include his acknowledgement he fathered a child outside of his marriage and evidence he used funds from the joint account and his wife’s pay to spend money on them, as well as for the random women he cheated with when he was out of town on business.
His wife has filed alienation of affection lawsuits against the two women and the escort he was cheating with regularly. All of three of them kept calling and coming to see him here at work to confront him after they were outed to people and served with the lawsuit papers, and I heard them talking (sometimes yelling) about it each time and him saying his wife moved out the day he was served with divorce papers and he has no way to contact except through her lawyer (hey have no children and apparently she has cut all contact).
I played dumb the entire time and no one, including his wife, has accused me of knowing anything or asked me if I did.
Before all of this happened, after reading your response and the responses in the comments, I decided to seriously start looking for another job. The same week my letter was published, there was an opening inside my company for a receptionist in a different division. The company usually posts jobs internally before they look externally, and since I’m classified as admin and the posting is for an administrative position, I didn’t have to apply and could just put in for a transfer.
They gave it to me, and I have been in my new job for two weeks now. I love it so far. I spend all day on the phone with people or talking with people who have come in to see or meet with my colleagues. The division has over 100 people, so while I have a screen where I can search for people by name and receive memos and things through email, I don’t have a computer that I am stuck staring at for hours a day. It’s definitely not for everyone but I love dealing with people all day and having no other responsibilities or a mountain of tasks or paperwork to do. My new colleagues have been welcoming and while everyone is talking about what is going on with my boss, no one has brought me into the drama and it only gets talked about around me the same as it would any other person. I don’t engage in any gossip and I certainly don’t talk about what I know, even though no one has asked.
I now have set hours, don’t ever have to work outside of those hours (no overtime or weekends or holidays) and no company cell phone. Since all my work involves dealing with people during working hours at work, I couldn’t do work at home even if I wanted to. Work is now separate from home, and overall I am much more relaxed because I have a clear line between working and not working and I don’t have to deal with my boss and his drama any more.
Thank you for your response to my question and to all the people who were supportive in the comments. I felt better knowing my feelings were valid and I wasn’t overreacting or wrong to be upset.
(Also there was some speculation in the comments about whether my boss could be engaging in some kind of embezzlement or falsifying because he had me separating expenses. There was nothing like that going on. The company has a policy where they will reimburse business expenses put on personal debit or credit cards. Non-work expenses are not allowed to be on company cards. So if the company paid for a hotel room when my boss traveled on business and he upgraded to a better room, the company would only reimburse or pay the original room price and he would have to pay for the rest of the upgrade. I would separate personal and work expenses before submitting them. This is in line with the company handbook and everyone always does it this way. There were no issues with him or me because of it. As for him using the company credit card at the massage parlor, they are legal where we are and since he had the charges reversed the same day and submitted proof of the reversal, the company never had an issue because he followed policy and hadn’t used the card for anything illegal.)
Final Update Oct 20, 2017
My former boss was fired. His wife outed a fourth woman for sleeping with him, same as the others. She works here. Having an affair with a subordinate and the multiple yelling matches with the other three women here at the office was enough to get him fired. The fourth woman was married (unlike the other three) and her husband filed for divorce after she was outed. She took job somewhere else but left amicably and was not fired like my former boss was. At least two of the women his wife was suing are settling with her to avoid it going to trial. The yelling matches he was having made it clear she wasn’t using the lawsuits as a bargaining chip and would not drop them in exchange for stuff from him.
Now that both he and the woman from here that he was having an affair with are gone, things have calmed down. No one has mentioned the affair in weeks and everything here is boring again. I don’t mind the lack of gossip and am still enjoying my new job and great colleagues. I got a small bonus at my yearly review because my boss was so happy with my work. I love my new colleagues and they have been nothing but welcoming to me.
(Also there was speculation in the comments in my first update about whether his wife outed the escort for her affair or being an escort. The answer is both. I don’t agree with her actions but I empathize with how much pain the affairs have caused her.)
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7
2024.05.16 06:01 Choice_Evidence1983 I(29F) made my step-father(50M) an outsider at my wedding that he paid for. I need to make it up to him but I dont know how.
I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/ThrowRA999333
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest
I(29F) made my step-father(50M) an outsider at my wedding that he paid for. I need to make it up to him but I dont know how.
Thanks to u/queenlegolas and u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU
Trigger Warnings: child abandonment, emotional manipulation, possible exploitation
Original Post: May 6, 2024
I ruined the memory of the best day of my life because I was too blind to see what I was doing was hurting one of the most important people in my life. I got married 2 months ago to the love of my life, and he finally opened my eyes to what I did. He showed me the perspective I didnt understand.
When I was 5 my father left us. Just disappeared without trace. He and my mom were already separated by that point, but he was still living with us. 3 years later my mom started dating Rob. He was quite a bit younger than she was, I belive she was 34 and he was 26. Today he is very wealthy (he wasnt when he met my mom) and he treats my mother like a queen. Whenever she is around him she looks like the happiest person in the world. My younger sister looks a lot like me and mom, but her personality is for sure a reflexion of her dad, always telling jokes and being just a nice person all around while me and my mom are more serious and cold.
As I got older, Rob became more present in my life he got married to my mom and she got pregnant. But it was still pretty weird seeing him as a father figure mostly because people would asume he was my brother all the time. When I was in HS, I was dating this boy, and he broke up with me at my friends house. My mom was on a night shift and I had to ask Rob to pick me up. When he did, he conforted me, took me to get ice cream, and when we got home he told me something like this (without knowing what happened) "whoever made you sad doesnt understand that you are the best girl in the world, and its their loss. Dont beat yourself up because other people are too stupid to see it"
I just said to him "I wish you were my dad". He smiled and said that he wished that too, and he could be if I wanted to. We left it at that. I never called him dad. But from that point foward I saw him as a father and I think he knows it.
I finally reconected to my biological father about an year ago. It happened because I got engaged. When I came to my mom's house one day, he was there and I couldnt even recongnise him. He was way thiner than he was when I was a kid. He struggled for years with depression and substance abuse. My mom and Rob actually helped him get clean and they even paid for his stay at a great reabilitation center. They decided together that it was time for me to finally meet him again.
I dont want to explore much on how this was, but all I have to say is that im glad to have him back in my life and im glad for being able to help him heal. He sufered a lot, he got lost. But now he is at least trying.
Rob and my mother payed for everything at my wedding, and everything was amaizing. The church was beautiful, my husband looked amaizing. The one mistake I made: I chose my biological father over Rob. I chose the man that did abandon me for over 20 years over the one the took me as his own and gave me everything he could when he didnt have to. I chose the man that broke my mothers heart over the one that saved her. I dont know why I did what I did. Looking back on it I feel so fucking stupid. My dad didnt deserve to walk me down the aisle. My dad dint deserve to be in all the pictures with my mom and my husbands parents. It should have been Rob.
I dont know, I think I was compensating for the time lost with my dad. Everything was still so fresh with him. I was helping him out, he talked to me everyday, I felt like he deserved to be back in my life.
When we were deciding who would give speeches, we had to cut some because it was just too many and me and my husband didnt really like the idea of hearing speeches for and hour and a half. So we decided for 5 people each. When I gave the list to my husband he even asked "no Rob?" And I said "yeah, my mom is already doing one". The others I chose were 2 of my bridesmaids, my mom, my sister (she really pushed for it) and, again, my dad. My husband said I should reconsider, He even thought of giving up one of his to put Rob in. I said it was fine, he didnt need to do that. My whole thinking when doing this was that Rob has my sister. He will have his moment. This was the only chance my dad had.
But I went too far. I completly cut him out of the party basically. If you look at the photos it doesnt even look like he went. My mom looks like she is faking a smile in half the pictures. I dont have a single picture with him. He only apears in group pictures, and some with my husband.
I only realised all of this when I texted Rob 2 days ago, asking him about a gift im giving my husbands for his birthday. He anwsered. Then asked about my car that is with a mecanic friend of his. He awnsered. Then I asked him something about my insurance. He did not anwser. A little over an hour later my mom called me. She just said "do you have no shame? Do you not understand what you did?" I just listend and she told me not to talk to Rob for now. I was just so fucking confused. I got home and told my husband and he just said that he knows what she is referencing but he will talk to her first.
Later, he showed me the wedding photos, he went step by step on everything I have listed here. He talked calmly, and broke it down for me. By the end I was crying so much that I had a headache. What an inconsiderate idiot I am. He told me that he and my mom didnt tell me anything before the party because Rob asked them not to. He understood that it was important for me for my father to be a big part of this day and when they protested he said that they should not make me worry about these small things.
I dont know what changed from before the party to now. My mom only tells me that he needs a bit of time and that he will talk to me soon. My husband keeps telling me that I made a mistake but Rob will be understanding and will forgive me. And I know that he will. He 100% has already forgiven me. He probably felt something when I was texting him that day that broke him down. I dont know what I said to trigger him at that moment, but also it doesnt really matter. I did the real damage at the party probably since he apeared to be fine with everything else before it (It was not fine by any means)
I have to make it up to him. I dont know how but I just do. I guess im just writing this here because im a little lost. Im too ashamed to talk about it with anyone else I know apart from my mom and husband. She doesnt tell me anything and my husband keeps insiting that everything will be fine and for me not to worry too much about it. And he is probably right but I feel like me not worrying about this is just being incosiderate to Rob again. I have to worry. I just dont know what to do.
Im now at work, and the only thing I can think about is this. Nothing else matters to me right now.
If someone has any kind of idea of how I can make it up to him I would greatly appreciate it.
Edit: Literally 40 minutes after I uploaded this, my mom texted me saying that Rob wants to speak to me tonight.
Relevant Comments
OOP on the situation of her insurance and Rob
RevolutionaryHat8988: I want to hug Rob. We all need a Rob in our lives.
Deleted Commenter: You’re almost 30 and needed all of this pointed out to you?
You made multiple conscious choices to exclude Rob from your wedding and only cared after you brought up an issue with your insurance: another thing he helped to pay for.
At your age you should know that choices have consequences.
I’m not sure there is anything you can do to make up for the choices you made.
Update May 9, 2024
First, I want to say some things before posting:
The day I posted here, my mom told me Rob wanted to speak to me and to go to their home after work. I went and waited for Rob to arrive. When he did my mom left us alone and he started off by saying that he was hurt by what I did at the wedding, that he knows he is not my father and that he would never try to force that on me, but that he at least thought he had some sort of importance in my life and seeing me just not give him any importance apart from talking to him when I need help with something made him realise that I do not view him the he thought I did.
At this point I was already crying so much that I couldnt even talk. I waited for him to finish and when he did I just told basically what you all saw in the post. That I fucked up bad, that I was incosiderate, that he is one of the most importante people in my life and that what I did was unforgivable.
The only reason I am posting it here is because of something during the conversation. He said something about my time at college and I went "but that was because..." and stoped. He asked me "what? because of what" I just said "nothing, you are right, that was my fault and I should have done better".
He was pretty angry at that point and he started to smile and we talked about me taking responsibility for my actions. Its something I am terrible at, it was an issue at my old job and since then I have been trying to be better at it but not very successfuly. He asked what changed and I told him about the post. Multiple people in the comments said that I dont take responsibility and yes, they read right through me. I showed it to him and reading the post calmed him down.
And no, he did not read the comments, just the ones I showed it to him, I would not let him see what some of you were saying about my mom.
So yes, he told me if I was going to say something else to thank you people for calling me out for not taking responsibility.
We talked about a lot of other things not related to the wedding. At the end I just told him that there were 2 things I wanted to say for him to take away from this conversation: I really did mean it when I was in HS and said that I wished he was my dad. Even now, with my biological dad in my life. I still feel that way. And the second thing is that I know that it will be hard for him to belive it right now because of what happened, but I will try to prove it to him for as long as it takes.
For those interested, I`ve been going to a therapist with my biological father once every 2 weeks since he came back, but I think I need one for myself so I will try to make it happen soon.
I want to thank 3 particular commenters that helped me.
Im not sure how I will make up for this. Rob is telling me that over time, just me being how I was before my biological father showed up will be enough for him. I dont doubt him but its not enough for me. I will live with what I did for the rest of my life. I will always remember.
The way I am now I actually need people to call me out for this kinds of things and its not fair to them. I will work on it, I have to. I will try my hardest to not ever hurt anyone I love this way again. Thankfully now I have someone in my husband to help me do that and call me out if needed. Thank you.
submitted by Choice_Evidence1983 to BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest
I(29F) made my step-father(50M) an outsider at my wedding that he paid for. I need to make it up to him but I dont know how.
Thanks to u/queenlegolas and u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU
Trigger Warnings: child abandonment, emotional manipulation, possible exploitation
I ruined the memory of the best day of my life because I was too blind to see what I was doing was hurting one of the most important people in my life. I got married 2 months ago to the love of my life, and he finally opened my eyes to what I did. He showed me the perspective I didnt understand.
When I was 5 my father left us. Just disappeared without trace. He and my mom were already separated by that point, but he was still living with us. 3 years later my mom started dating Rob. He was quite a bit younger than she was, I belive she was 34 and he was 26. Today he is very wealthy (he wasnt when he met my mom) and he treats my mother like a queen. Whenever she is around him she looks like the happiest person in the world. My younger sister looks a lot like me and mom, but her personality is for sure a reflexion of her dad, always telling jokes and being just a nice person all around while me and my mom are more serious and cold.
As I got older, Rob became more present in my life he got married to my mom and she got pregnant. But it was still pretty weird seeing him as a father figure mostly because people would asume he was my brother all the time. When I was in HS, I was dating this boy, and he broke up with me at my friends house. My mom was on a night shift and I had to ask Rob to pick me up. When he did, he conforted me, took me to get ice cream, and when we got home he told me something like this (without knowing what happened) "whoever made you sad doesnt understand that you are the best girl in the world, and its their loss. Dont beat yourself up because other people are too stupid to see it"
I just said to him "I wish you were my dad". He smiled and said that he wished that too, and he could be if I wanted to. We left it at that. I never called him dad. But from that point foward I saw him as a father and I think he knows it.
I finally reconected to my biological father about an year ago. It happened because I got engaged. When I came to my mom's house one day, he was there and I couldnt even recongnise him. He was way thiner than he was when I was a kid. He struggled for years with depression and substance abuse. My mom and Rob actually helped him get clean and they even paid for his stay at a great reabilitation center. They decided together that it was time for me to finally meet him again.
I dont want to explore much on how this was, but all I have to say is that im glad to have him back in my life and im glad for being able to help him heal. He sufered a lot, he got lost. But now he is at least trying.
Rob and my mother payed for everything at my wedding, and everything was amaizing. The church was beautiful, my husband looked amaizing. The one mistake I made: I chose my biological father over Rob. I chose the man that did abandon me for over 20 years over the one the took me as his own and gave me everything he could when he didnt have to. I chose the man that broke my mothers heart over the one that saved her. I dont know why I did what I did. Looking back on it I feel so fucking stupid. My dad didnt deserve to walk me down the aisle. My dad dint deserve to be in all the pictures with my mom and my husbands parents. It should have been Rob.
I dont know, I think I was compensating for the time lost with my dad. Everything was still so fresh with him. I was helping him out, he talked to me everyday, I felt like he deserved to be back in my life.
When we were deciding who would give speeches, we had to cut some because it was just too many and me and my husband didnt really like the idea of hearing speeches for and hour and a half. So we decided for 5 people each. When I gave the list to my husband he even asked "no Rob?" And I said "yeah, my mom is already doing one". The others I chose were 2 of my bridesmaids, my mom, my sister (she really pushed for it) and, again, my dad. My husband said I should reconsider, He even thought of giving up one of his to put Rob in. I said it was fine, he didnt need to do that. My whole thinking when doing this was that Rob has my sister. He will have his moment. This was the only chance my dad had.
But I went too far. I completly cut him out of the party basically. If you look at the photos it doesnt even look like he went. My mom looks like she is faking a smile in half the pictures. I dont have a single picture with him. He only apears in group pictures, and some with my husband.
I only realised all of this when I texted Rob 2 days ago, asking him about a gift im giving my husbands for his birthday. He anwsered. Then asked about my car that is with a mecanic friend of his. He awnsered. Then I asked him something about my insurance. He did not anwser. A little over an hour later my mom called me. She just said "do you have no shame? Do you not understand what you did?" I just listend and she told me not to talk to Rob for now. I was just so fucking confused. I got home and told my husband and he just said that he knows what she is referencing but he will talk to her first.
Later, he showed me the wedding photos, he went step by step on everything I have listed here. He talked calmly, and broke it down for me. By the end I was crying so much that I had a headache. What an inconsiderate idiot I am. He told me that he and my mom didnt tell me anything before the party because Rob asked them not to. He understood that it was important for me for my father to be a big part of this day and when they protested he said that they should not make me worry about these small things.
I dont know what changed from before the party to now. My mom only tells me that he needs a bit of time and that he will talk to me soon. My husband keeps telling me that I made a mistake but Rob will be understanding and will forgive me. And I know that he will. He 100% has already forgiven me. He probably felt something when I was texting him that day that broke him down. I dont know what I said to trigger him at that moment, but also it doesnt really matter. I did the real damage at the party probably since he apeared to be fine with everything else before it (It was not fine by any means)
I have to make it up to him. I dont know how but I just do. I guess im just writing this here because im a little lost. Im too ashamed to talk about it with anyone else I know apart from my mom and husband. She doesnt tell me anything and my husband keeps insiting that everything will be fine and for me not to worry too much about it. And he is probably right but I feel like me not worrying about this is just being incosiderate to Rob again. I have to worry. I just dont know what to do.
Im now at work, and the only thing I can think about is this. Nothing else matters to me right now.
If someone has any kind of idea of how I can make it up to him I would greatly appreciate it.
Edit: Literally 40 minutes after I uploaded this, my mom texted me saying that Rob wants to speak to me tonight.
Relevant Comments
OOP on the situation of her insurance and Rob
OOP: Actually, Rob does not pay for my insurance. He only helped me set it up. And this is not about money at all, I make more than enough money and my husband is also very well off. Rob and my mom paid for the wedding because they wanted to. They told me it would be their gift for me and they gave me the money to use it on the wedding. My husbands family gave us a sum to help pay for our new house.OOP on why she didn’t plan the wedding photos ahead of time
But your comment made me realise that this might be the problem, he might think im using him for money. That just breaks my heart. I do not want his money. I would happly take myself out of the my mom's will and his (if he has me in it, which he probably does), if it means I can fix this.
Also, he was not rich at all when he met my mom. He became successful after their marriage. Just to clarify.
OOP: My plan was that I wanted spontanious pictures and the photographer had to be changed last minute. In my head it worked out fine, what I wanted was to have the "important" pictures taken early, bridesmades, groomsman and family and later on have just spontanious pictures.Top Comments
It was something I was too stuck on, this notion of "wasting time" doing pictures, speaches, etc.
But that was such dumb thinking. Thats what wedding are for.
At the end of the day though, everything went great apart from this disastrous oversight of mine.
RevolutionaryHat8988: I want to hug Rob. We all need a Rob in our lives.
Deleted Commenter: You’re almost 30 and needed all of this pointed out to you?
You made multiple conscious choices to exclude Rob from your wedding and only cared after you brought up an issue with your insurance: another thing he helped to pay for.
At your age you should know that choices have consequences.
I’m not sure there is anything you can do to make up for the choices you made.
Update May 9, 2024
First, I want to say some things before posting:
- No, I am not Linda, my biological father isnt dying. Got a DM in here asking.
- My sister is mostly just sad, not really mad at me. Just said she understood my situation but it still was really shitty seeing her father taken for granted and sad.
- My mother is the person most pissed off at me at the moment. She is the only one that still does not talk to me. I mean she does, but not really.
- For the people saying my husband and mother were idiots for not talking to me before: they agree and have told me this. My husband specially. Im not trying to shift blame here, just saying this for the people that talked about it
The day I posted here, my mom told me Rob wanted to speak to me and to go to their home after work. I went and waited for Rob to arrive. When he did my mom left us alone and he started off by saying that he was hurt by what I did at the wedding, that he knows he is not my father and that he would never try to force that on me, but that he at least thought he had some sort of importance in my life and seeing me just not give him any importance apart from talking to him when I need help with something made him realise that I do not view him the he thought I did.
At this point I was already crying so much that I couldnt even talk. I waited for him to finish and when he did I just told basically what you all saw in the post. That I fucked up bad, that I was incosiderate, that he is one of the most importante people in my life and that what I did was unforgivable.
The only reason I am posting it here is because of something during the conversation. He said something about my time at college and I went "but that was because..." and stoped. He asked me "what? because of what" I just said "nothing, you are right, that was my fault and I should have done better".
He was pretty angry at that point and he started to smile and we talked about me taking responsibility for my actions. Its something I am terrible at, it was an issue at my old job and since then I have been trying to be better at it but not very successfuly. He asked what changed and I told him about the post. Multiple people in the comments said that I dont take responsibility and yes, they read right through me. I showed it to him and reading the post calmed him down.
And no, he did not read the comments, just the ones I showed it to him, I would not let him see what some of you were saying about my mom.
So yes, he told me if I was going to say something else to thank you people for calling me out for not taking responsibility.
We talked about a lot of other things not related to the wedding. At the end I just told him that there were 2 things I wanted to say for him to take away from this conversation: I really did mean it when I was in HS and said that I wished he was my dad. Even now, with my biological dad in my life. I still feel that way. And the second thing is that I know that it will be hard for him to belive it right now because of what happened, but I will try to prove it to him for as long as it takes.
For those interested, I`ve been going to a therapist with my biological father once every 2 weeks since he came back, but I think I need one for myself so I will try to make it happen soon.
I want to thank 3 particular commenters that helped me.
- The person that told me to take it slow with Rob and dmed me to stop looking at the thread cause I was spiraling.
- The one that said: "People fuck up. Sometimes badly. But in a loving and caring family it's never the end of things as long as you are willing to own your mistakes."
- And most importantly the best comment that was fair and gave me the right advice: "You are a spoilt, selfish, childish person. I don’t know that rob will forgive you but you can’t simply wait to see if he does. Write him a letter in which you fully own up to your awful behaviour. Do not say “I wish someone had stopped me” - that isn’t taking accountability for the way you treat people. With him and your mom paying for your wedding and your in laws paying for your house - you need to grow up and reflect very seriously on how you interact with everyone around you."
Im not sure how I will make up for this. Rob is telling me that over time, just me being how I was before my biological father showed up will be enough for him. I dont doubt him but its not enough for me. I will live with what I did for the rest of my life. I will always remember.
The way I am now I actually need people to call me out for this kinds of things and its not fair to them. I will work on it, I have to. I will try my hardest to not ever hurt anyone I love this way again. Thankfully now I have someone in my husband to help me do that and call me out if needed. Thank you.
DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP
2024.05.16 05:59 Fun-Entertainer-2991 Hogwarts Legacy 2: Chapter 1
The following is my ideal start to the sequel. I apologize in advance for the parentheses.
The MC is awakened by a knock at the door.
Either Amit, Poppy, or Gareth (depending on the MC's house) enter the room, saying something along the lines of
"Sorry, I didn't wake you did I?"
We discover that the MC has been staying at one of the above characters' houses for Summer Break, due to the MC being an orphan (set up MC backstory).
The MC and other character go downstairs for breakfast with the other character's family. (A lot of this takes inspiration from Harry's time at the Burrow) An owl arrives with a letter for school supplies.
It is decided that they will all go to Diagon Alley the next day. However, first things first- house chores!
Depending on the house of the MC, the chores will vary. I even imagine de-gnoming could be a possibility if with the Weasleys.
After completion of the chores, the player is given the option to explore the house and yard before ending the day. The next morning the player and family go to Diagon Alley via Flu Powder. The player is free to explore Diagon Alley, including Gringotts, where they may set up an account. There will also be an option to buy a broom and/or a wand, each with varying potentials (speed, power, etc.) However, the funds will be limited, so choices will have to be made. There will be some unique products available for purchase in Diagon Alley, which the player may have a second chance to buy during the Winter break, when they will have the option to stay at the Leaky Cauldron or at an empty Hogwarts, each with their own possible benefit.
Upon returning to the house from Diagon Alley, a bit of fun begins.
Depending on which house the MC is staying at, this bit will differ.
If staying with the Weasleys, MC will play a 2-on-2 quidditch game (with just a quaffle, I believe)
If staying with Amit, perhaps a flight to a nearby hill for some star gazing.
If staying with Poppy...maybe like following unicorn tracks, ending in a unicorn ride through the woods??
Alas, thus the fun ends and it is time to prepare for the next day's journey to Hogwarts.
(It would be cool if each family had a different way to get to Kings Cross- broom flight, portkey, floo powder? This could also be a quest in itself)
The MC walks through platform 9 3/4 and gets the opportunity to wander around briefly, before the train whistle and a voice warns of its nearing departure.
The MC, along with the other character, boards the Hogwarts Express. After checking around various compartments and perhaps getting refused by some antagonizing students, the MC finds an open compartment to sit in. After a brief conversation and perhaps some new character introductions, the MC gets the chance to buy some things from the trolley and can wonder around the train. There could be some sort of quest (finding a student's lost belonging? Stopping some older students from bullying anxious first years?) before the train begins its approach to Hogsmeade Station (Ideally the player could control how long or short the train ride lasts).
The students exit the train and the camera might show a mysterious hooded figure watching from a bench on the other platform. We might get a cut scene of the carriages trek to the school (and in said process, we might see/hear a glimpse of something worrisome through the trees.) We enter the great hall for the sorting ceremony. We watch the ceremony and notice something unusual with one of the students (perhaps something sinister even--random thought, what if the student were actually a powerful dark wizard who had used the polyjuice potion to take on the appearance of a student in order to infiltrate Hogwarts), like the hat announcing the student's house before the student even sits down (eg. Draco). This student may or may not be a potential antagonist.
We get the chance to converse with just about all of our housemates, with more lengthy conversations with students in our own year. (Along with the train ride, this is an opportunity for relationship building) We also get to eat the variety of foods that have appeared on the table. We then get some school announcements from the headmaster, including but not limited to the try out dates for Quidditch. After the announcements, the feast is brought to a close, and house prefects guide the first years to their respective houses (and in this process, the MC might catch the unusual first year looking at them as they exit the Hall).
The MC then heads to their common room along with the other students. The player gets to explore the common room and interact with it magically (lighting fireplace, accio-ing books etc.), maybe eventually getting scolded by some older students, a ghost or a prefect. Also, the bulletin board lists some possible quests to be done on a later date. There are also NPCs with whom the MC can play exploding snap and wizards chess with in the common room. (Gobstones would be available to play outside)
The player is free to stay in the common room, but with all of the other students eventually heading up to their rooms, the player will naturally wish to do so as well. Upon going up to the bedroom, they will join in on a brief conversation with their roommates about the next day's classes etc. Then, the player will get to sleep in their bed, to get some rest before the start of a new school year.
submitted by Fun-Entertainer-2991 to HarryPotterGame [link] [comments]
The MC is awakened by a knock at the door.
Either Amit, Poppy, or Gareth (depending on the MC's house) enter the room, saying something along the lines of
"Sorry, I didn't wake you did I?"
We discover that the MC has been staying at one of the above characters' houses for Summer Break, due to the MC being an orphan (set up MC backstory).
The MC and other character go downstairs for breakfast with the other character's family. (A lot of this takes inspiration from Harry's time at the Burrow) An owl arrives with a letter for school supplies.
It is decided that they will all go to Diagon Alley the next day. However, first things first- house chores!
Depending on the house of the MC, the chores will vary. I even imagine de-gnoming could be a possibility if with the Weasleys.
After completion of the chores, the player is given the option to explore the house and yard before ending the day. The next morning the player and family go to Diagon Alley via Flu Powder. The player is free to explore Diagon Alley, including Gringotts, where they may set up an account. There will also be an option to buy a broom and/or a wand, each with varying potentials (speed, power, etc.) However, the funds will be limited, so choices will have to be made. There will be some unique products available for purchase in Diagon Alley, which the player may have a second chance to buy during the Winter break, when they will have the option to stay at the Leaky Cauldron or at an empty Hogwarts, each with their own possible benefit.
Upon returning to the house from Diagon Alley, a bit of fun begins.
Depending on which house the MC is staying at, this bit will differ.
If staying with the Weasleys, MC will play a 2-on-2 quidditch game (with just a quaffle, I believe)
If staying with Amit, perhaps a flight to a nearby hill for some star gazing.
If staying with Poppy...maybe like following unicorn tracks, ending in a unicorn ride through the woods??
Alas, thus the fun ends and it is time to prepare for the next day's journey to Hogwarts.
(It would be cool if each family had a different way to get to Kings Cross- broom flight, portkey, floo powder? This could also be a quest in itself)
The MC walks through platform 9 3/4 and gets the opportunity to wander around briefly, before the train whistle and a voice warns of its nearing departure.
The MC, along with the other character, boards the Hogwarts Express. After checking around various compartments and perhaps getting refused by some antagonizing students, the MC finds an open compartment to sit in. After a brief conversation and perhaps some new character introductions, the MC gets the chance to buy some things from the trolley and can wonder around the train. There could be some sort of quest (finding a student's lost belonging? Stopping some older students from bullying anxious first years?) before the train begins its approach to Hogsmeade Station (Ideally the player could control how long or short the train ride lasts).
The students exit the train and the camera might show a mysterious hooded figure watching from a bench on the other platform. We might get a cut scene of the carriages trek to the school (and in said process, we might see/hear a glimpse of something worrisome through the trees.) We enter the great hall for the sorting ceremony. We watch the ceremony and notice something unusual with one of the students (perhaps something sinister even--random thought, what if the student were actually a powerful dark wizard who had used the polyjuice potion to take on the appearance of a student in order to infiltrate Hogwarts), like the hat announcing the student's house before the student even sits down (eg. Draco). This student may or may not be a potential antagonist.
We get the chance to converse with just about all of our housemates, with more lengthy conversations with students in our own year. (Along with the train ride, this is an opportunity for relationship building) We also get to eat the variety of foods that have appeared on the table. We then get some school announcements from the headmaster, including but not limited to the try out dates for Quidditch. After the announcements, the feast is brought to a close, and house prefects guide the first years to their respective houses (and in this process, the MC might catch the unusual first year looking at them as they exit the Hall).
The MC then heads to their common room along with the other students. The player gets to explore the common room and interact with it magically (lighting fireplace, accio-ing books etc.), maybe eventually getting scolded by some older students, a ghost or a prefect. Also, the bulletin board lists some possible quests to be done on a later date. There are also NPCs with whom the MC can play exploding snap and wizards chess with in the common room. (Gobstones would be available to play outside)
The player is free to stay in the common room, but with all of the other students eventually heading up to their rooms, the player will naturally wish to do so as well. Upon going up to the bedroom, they will join in on a brief conversation with their roommates about the next day's classes etc. Then, the player will get to sleep in their bed, to get some rest before the start of a new school year.
2024.05.16 05:21 zookeee907 Sons car stolen then repossessed months later when found because he didn’t pay for it once he filed police report
Alaska…my son’s car was stolen. He was like, 20 days past due when stolen. Filled a police report and with insurance. Months later, he receives a letter from a tow company that they have his car because it was reported stolen. (He got the letter today). He goes to tow yard (still today when he got letter) to see what condition it is in. They said the finance company repossessed it and it’s not there. Called finance company and they said he owes about $2800 on it to get it back now and the lady was “snarky” that he talked to. He’s 21 and still lives at home so I’m going to help him escalate it. Insurance still hasn’t paid the claim either. Took about 30 days for a police report to get to them to even start the claim. I can’t even fathom that they needed a hard copy and not the police report number.
So now he still doesn’t know what condition it is in to decide if he wants to pay it. Is it trashed? Did they drive it till it ran out of gas and left it? Did they use it as an everyday driver until they couldn’t? We don’t know (although it’s probably trashed, let’s be realistic). I also don’t want him to have a repo on his record when his car WAS STOLEN!
Should he have kept paying once he filed the report? His previous car was totaled by someone trying a guaranteed left with a trailer and decided to back into him (all paid by guy who hit him). They just wanted him current before they cut check to finance company and all was good.
Any wisdom/advise/ideas?
submitted by zookeee907 to AskALawyer [link] [comments]
So now he still doesn’t know what condition it is in to decide if he wants to pay it. Is it trashed? Did they drive it till it ran out of gas and left it? Did they use it as an everyday driver until they couldn’t? We don’t know (although it’s probably trashed, let’s be realistic). I also don’t want him to have a repo on his record when his car WAS STOLEN!
Should he have kept paying once he filed the report? His previous car was totaled by someone trying a guaranteed left with a trailer and decided to back into him (all paid by guy who hit him). They just wanted him current before they cut check to finance company and all was good.
Any wisdom/advise/ideas?
2024.05.16 05:06 MirkWorks Excerpt from The Culture of Narcissism by Christopher Lasch (Changing Modes of Making It: From Horatio Alger to the Happy Hooker)
III. Changing Modes of Making It: From Horatio Alger to the Happy Hooker
…
From “Self-Culture” to Self-Promotion through “Winning Images”
In the nineteenth century, the ideal of self-improvement degenerated into a cult of compulsive industry. P.T. Barnum, who made a fortune in a calling the very nature of which the Puritans would have condemned (“Every calling, whereby God will be Dishonored; every Calling whereby none but the Lusts of men are Nourished: …every such Calling is to be Rejected”), delivered many times a lecture frankly entitled “The Art of Money-Getting,” which epitomized the nineteenth-century conception of worldly success. Barnum quoted freely from Franklin but without Franklin’s concern for the attainment of wisdom or the promotion of useful knowledge. “Information” interested Barnum merely as a means of mastering the market. Thus he condemned the “false economy” of the farm wife who douses her candle at dusk rather than lighting another for reading, not realizing that the “information” gained through reading is worth far more than the price of the candles. “Always take a trustworthy newspaper,” Barnum advised young men on the make, “and thus keep thoroughly posted in regard to the transactions of the world. He who is without a newspaper is cut off from his species.”
Barnum valued the good opinion of others not as a sign of one’s usefulness but as a means of getting credit. “Uncompromising integrity of character is invaluable.” The nineteenth century attempted to express all values in monetary terms. Everything had its price. Charity was a moral duty because “the liberal man will command patronage, which the sordid, uncharitable miser will be avoided.” The sin of pride was not that it offended God but that it led to extravagant expenditures. “A spirit of pride and vanity, when permitted to have full sway, is the undying cankerworm which gnaws the very vitals of a man’s worldly possessions.”
The eighteenth century made a virtue of temperance but did not condemn moderate indulgence in the service of sociability. “Rational conversation,” on the contrary, appeared to Franklin and his contemporaries to represent an important value in its own right. The nineteenth century condemned sociability itself, on the grounds that it might interfere with business. “How many good opportunities have passed, never to return, while a man was sipping a ‘social glass’ with his friends!” Preachments on self-help now breathed the spirit of compulsive enterprise. Henry Ward Beecher defined “the beau ideal of happiness” as a state of mind in which “a man [is] so busy that he does not know whether he is or is not happy.” Russell Sage remarked that “work has been the chied, and you might say, the only source of pleasure in my life.”
Even at the height of the Gilded Age, however, the Protestant ethic did not completely lose its original meaning. In the success manuals, the McGuffey readers, the Peter Parley Books, and the hortatory writings of the great capitalists themselves, the Protestant virtues - industry, thrift, temperance - still appeared not merely as stepping-stones to success but as their own reward.
The spirit of self-improvement lived on, in debased form, in the cult of “self-culture” - proper care and training of mind and body, nurture of the mind through “great books,” development of “character.” The social contribution of individual accumulation still survived as an undercurrent in the celebration of success, and the social conditions of early industrial capitalism, in which the pursuit of wealth undeniably increased the supply of useful objects, gave some substance to the claim that “accumulated capital means progress.” In condemning speculation and extravagance, in upholding the importance of patient industry, in urging young men to start at the bottom and submit to “the discipline of daily life,” even the most unabashed exponents of self-enrichment clung to the notion that wealth derives its value from its contribution to the general good and to the happiness of future generations.
The nineteenth-century cult of success placed surprisingly little emphasis on competition. It measured achievement not against the achievements of others but against an abstract ideal of discipline and self-denial. At the turn of the century, however, preachments on success began to stress the will to win. The bureaucratization of the corporate career changed the conditions of self-advancement; ambitious young men now had to compete with their peers for the attention and approval of their superiors. The struggle to surpass the previous generation and to provide for the next gave way to a form of sibling rivalry, in which men of approximately equal abilities jostled against each other in competition for a limited number of places. Advancement now depended on “will-power, self-confidence, energy, and initiative” - the qualities celebrated in such exemplary writings as George Lorimer’s Letters from a Self-Made Merchant to His Son. ” By the end of the nineteenth century,” writes John Cawelti in his study of the success myth, “self-help books were dominated by the ethos of sales-manship and boosterism. Personal magnetism, a quality which supposedly enabled a man to influence and dominate others, became one of the major keys to success.” In 1907, both Lorimer’s Saturday Evening Post and Orison Swett Marden’s Success magazine inaugurated departments of instruction in the “art of conversation,” fashion, and “culture.” The management of interpersonal relations came to be seen as the essence of self-advancement. The captain of industry gave way to the confidence man, the master of impressions. Young men were told that they had to sell themselves in order to succeed.
At first, self-testing through competition remained almost in-distinguishable from moral self-discipline and self-culture, but the difference became unmistakable when Dale Carnegie and then Norman Vincent Peale restated and transformed the tradition of Mather, Franklin, Barnum, and Lorimer. As a formula for success, winning friends and influencing people had little in common with industry and thrift. The prophets of positive thinking disparaged “the old adage that hard work alone is the magic key that will unlock the door to our desires.” They praised the love of money, officially condemned even by the crudest of Gilded Age materialists, as a useful incentive. “You can never have riches in great quantities,” wrote Napoleon Hill in this Think and Grow Rich,” unless you can work yourself into a white heat of desire for money.” The pursuit of wealth lost the few shreds of moral meaning that still clung to it. Formerly the Protestant virtues appeared to have an independent value of their own. Even when they became purely instrumental, in the second half of the nineteenth century, success itself retained moral and social overtones, by virtue of its contribution to the sum of human comfort and progress. Now success appeared as an end in its own right, the victory over your competitors that alone retained the capacity to instill a sense of self-approval. The latest success manuals differ from earlier ones - even surpassing the cynicism of Dale Carnegie and Peale - in their frank acceptance of the need to exploit and intimidate others, in their lack of interest in the substance of success, and in the candor with which they insist that appearances - “winning images - count for more than performance, ascription for more than achievement. One author seems to imply that the self consists of little more than its “image” reflected in others’ eyes. “Although I’m not being original when I say it, I’m sure you’ll agree that the way you see yourself will reflect the image you portray to others.” Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.
<The American Religion by Harold Bloom (California Orphism)>
The Apotheosis of Individualism
The fear that haunted the social critics and theorists of the fifties - that rugged individualism had succumbed to conformity and “love-pressure sociability” - appears in retrospect to have been premature. In 1960, David Riesman complained that young people no longer had much social “presence,” their education having provided them not with “a polished personality but [with] an affable, casual, adaptable one, suitable to the losing organizations of an affluent society.” It is true that “a present-oriented hedonism,” as Riseman went on the argue, has replaced the work ethic “among the very classes which in the earlier stages of industrialization were oriented toward the future, toward distant goals and delayed gratification.” But this hedonism is a fraud; the pursuit of pleasure disguises a struggle for power. Americans have not really become more sociable and cooperative, as the theorists of other-direction and conformity would like us to believe; they have merely become more adept at exploiting the conventions of interpersonal relations for their own benefit. Activities ostensibly undertaken purely for enjoyment often have the real object of doing others in. It is symptomatic of the underlying tenor of American life that vulgar terms for sexual intercourse also convey the sense of getting the better of someone, working him over, taking him in, imposing your will through guile, deception, or superior force. Verbs associated with sexual pleasure have acquired more than the usual overtones of violence and psychic exploitation. In the violent world of the ghetto, the language of which now pervades American society as a whole, the violence associated with sexual intercourse is directed with special intensity by men against women, specifically against their mothers. The language of ritualized aggression and abuse reminds those who use it that exploitation is the general rule and some form of dependence the common fate, that “the individual,” in Lee Rainwater’s words, “is not strong enough or adult enough to achieve his goal in a legitimate way, but is rather like a child, dependent on others who tolerate his childish maneuvers”; accordingly males, even adult males, often depend on women for support and nurture. Many of them have to pimp for a living, ingratiating themselves with a woman in order to pry money from her; sexual relations thus become manipulative and predatory. Satisfaction depends on taking what you want instead of waiting for what is rightfully yours to receive. All this enters everyday speech in language that connects sex with aggression and sexual aggression with highly ambivalent feelings about mothers.
In some ways middle-class society has become a pale copy of the black ghetto, as the appropriation of its language would lead us to believe. We do not need to minimize the poverty of the ghetto or the suffering inflicted by whites on blacks in order to see that the increasingly dangerous and unpredictable conditions of middle-class life have given rise to similar strategies for survival. Indeed the attraction of black culture for disaffected whites suggests that black culture now speaks to a general condition, the most important feature of which is a widespread loss of confidence in the future. The poor have always had to live for the present, but now a desperate concern for personal survival, sometimes disguised as hedonism, engulfs the middle class as well. Today almost everyone lives in a dangerous world from which there is little escape. International terrorism and blackmail, bombings, and hijackings arbitrarily affect the rich and poor alike. Crime, violence, and gang wars make cities unsafe and threaten to spread to the suburbs. Racial violence on the streets and in the schools creates an atmosphere of chronic tension and threatens to erupt at any time into full-scale racial conflict. Unemployment spreads from the poor the white-collar class, while inflation eats away the savings of those who hoped to retire in comfort. Much of what is euphemistically known as the middle class, merely because it dresses up to go to work, is now reduced to proletarian conditions of existence. Many white-collar jobs require no more skill and pay even less than blue-collar jobs, conferring little status or security. The propaganda of death and destruction, emanating ceaselessly from the mass media, adds to the prevailing atmosphere of insecurity. Far-flung famines, earthquakes in remote regions, distant wars and uprisings attract the same attention as events closer to home. The impression of arbitrariness in the reporting of disaster reinforces the arbitrary quality of experience itself, and the absence of continuity in the coverage of events, as today’s crisis yields to a new and unrelated crisis tomorrow, adds to the sense of historical discontinuity - the sense of living in a world in which the past holds out no guidance to the present and the future has become completely unpredictable.
Older conceptions of success presupposed a world in rapid motion, in which fortunes were rapidly won and lost and new opportunities unfolded every day. Yet they also presupposed a certain stability, a future that bore some recognizable resemblance to the present and the past. The growth of bureaucracy, the cult of consumption with its immediate gratifications, but above all the severance of the sense of historical continuity have transformed the Protestant ethic while carrying the underlying principles of capitalist society to their logical conclusion. The pursuit of self-interest, formerly identified with the rational pursuit of gain and the accumulation of wealth, has become a search for pleasure and psychic survival. Social conditions now approximate the vision of republican society conceived by the Marquis de Sade at the very outset of the republican epoch. In many ways the most farsighted and certainly the most disturbing of the prophets of revolutionary individualism, Sade defended unlimited self-indulgence as the logical culmination of the revolution in property relations - the only way to attain revolutionary brotherhood in its purest form. By regressing in his writings to the most primitive level of fantasy, Sade uncannily glimpsed the whole subsequent development of personal life under capitalism, ending not in revolutionary brotherhood but in a society of siblings that has outlived and repudiated its revolutionary origins.
Sade imagined a sexual utopia in which everyone has the right to everyone else, where human beings, reduced to their sexual organs, become absolutely anonymous and interchangeable. His ideal society thus reaffirmed the capitalist principle that human beings are ultimately reducible to interchangeable objects. It also incorporated and carried to a surprising new conclusion Hobbes’s discovery that the destruction of paternalism and the subordination of all social relations to the market had stripped away the remaining restraints and the mitigating illusions from the war of all against all. In the resulting state of organized anarchy, as Sade was the first to realize, pleasure becomes life’s only business - pleasure, however, that is indistinguishable from rape, murder, unbridled aggression. In a society that has reduced reason to mere calculation, reason can impose no limits on the pursuit of pleasure - on the immediate gratification of every desire no matter how perverse, insane, criminal, or merely immoral. For the standards that would condemn crime or cruelty derive from religion, compassion, or the kind of reason that rejects purely instrumental applications; and none of these outmoded forms of thought or feeling has any logical place in a society based on commodity production. In his misogyny, Sade perceived that bourgeois enlightenment, carried to its logical conclusions, condemned even the sentimental cult of womanhood and the family, which the bourgeoisie itself had carried to unprecedented extremes.
At the same time, he saw that condemnation of “woman-worship” had to go hand in hand with a defense of woman’s sexual rights - their right to dispose of their own bodies, as feminists would put it today. If the exercise of that right in Sade’s utopia boils down to the duty to become an instrument of someone else’s pleasure, it was not so much because Sade hated women as because he hated humanity. He perceived, more clearly than the feminists, that all freedoms under capitalism come in the end to the same thing, the same universal obligation to enjoy and be enjoyed. In the same breath, and without violating his own logic, Sade demanded for women the right “fully to satisfy all their desires” and “all parts of their bodies” and categorically stated that “all women must submit to our pleasure.” Pure individualism thus issued in the most radical repudiation of individuality. “All men, all women resemble each other,” according to Sade; and to those of his countrymen who would become republicans he adds this ominous warning: “Do not think you can make good republicans so long as you isolated in their families the children who should belong to the republic alone.” The bourgeois defense of privacy culminates - not just in Sade’s thought but in the history to come, so accurately foreshadowed in the very excess, madness, infantilism of his ideas - in the most thoroughgoing attack on privacy; the glorification of the individual, in his annihilation.
<…>
Standing-Reserve.
Note a lack of the “Greek” in Lasch.
Visions of Excess: Selected Writings, 1927-1939 by Georges Bataille, Edited by A. Stoekl, Translated by A. Stoekl, C.R. Lovitt, and D.M. Leslie Jr.
<…>
submitted by MirkWorks to u/MirkWorks [link] [comments]
…
From “Self-Culture” to Self-Promotion through “Winning Images”
In the nineteenth century, the ideal of self-improvement degenerated into a cult of compulsive industry. P.T. Barnum, who made a fortune in a calling the very nature of which the Puritans would have condemned (“Every calling, whereby God will be Dishonored; every Calling whereby none but the Lusts of men are Nourished: …every such Calling is to be Rejected”), delivered many times a lecture frankly entitled “The Art of Money-Getting,” which epitomized the nineteenth-century conception of worldly success. Barnum quoted freely from Franklin but without Franklin’s concern for the attainment of wisdom or the promotion of useful knowledge. “Information” interested Barnum merely as a means of mastering the market. Thus he condemned the “false economy” of the farm wife who douses her candle at dusk rather than lighting another for reading, not realizing that the “information” gained through reading is worth far more than the price of the candles. “Always take a trustworthy newspaper,” Barnum advised young men on the make, “and thus keep thoroughly posted in regard to the transactions of the world. He who is without a newspaper is cut off from his species.”
Barnum valued the good opinion of others not as a sign of one’s usefulness but as a means of getting credit. “Uncompromising integrity of character is invaluable.” The nineteenth century attempted to express all values in monetary terms. Everything had its price. Charity was a moral duty because “the liberal man will command patronage, which the sordid, uncharitable miser will be avoided.” The sin of pride was not that it offended God but that it led to extravagant expenditures. “A spirit of pride and vanity, when permitted to have full sway, is the undying cankerworm which gnaws the very vitals of a man’s worldly possessions.”
The eighteenth century made a virtue of temperance but did not condemn moderate indulgence in the service of sociability. “Rational conversation,” on the contrary, appeared to Franklin and his contemporaries to represent an important value in its own right. The nineteenth century condemned sociability itself, on the grounds that it might interfere with business. “How many good opportunities have passed, never to return, while a man was sipping a ‘social glass’ with his friends!” Preachments on self-help now breathed the spirit of compulsive enterprise. Henry Ward Beecher defined “the beau ideal of happiness” as a state of mind in which “a man [is] so busy that he does not know whether he is or is not happy.” Russell Sage remarked that “work has been the chied, and you might say, the only source of pleasure in my life.”
Even at the height of the Gilded Age, however, the Protestant ethic did not completely lose its original meaning. In the success manuals, the McGuffey readers, the Peter Parley Books, and the hortatory writings of the great capitalists themselves, the Protestant virtues - industry, thrift, temperance - still appeared not merely as stepping-stones to success but as their own reward.
The spirit of self-improvement lived on, in debased form, in the cult of “self-culture” - proper care and training of mind and body, nurture of the mind through “great books,” development of “character.” The social contribution of individual accumulation still survived as an undercurrent in the celebration of success, and the social conditions of early industrial capitalism, in which the pursuit of wealth undeniably increased the supply of useful objects, gave some substance to the claim that “accumulated capital means progress.” In condemning speculation and extravagance, in upholding the importance of patient industry, in urging young men to start at the bottom and submit to “the discipline of daily life,” even the most unabashed exponents of self-enrichment clung to the notion that wealth derives its value from its contribution to the general good and to the happiness of future generations.
The nineteenth-century cult of success placed surprisingly little emphasis on competition. It measured achievement not against the achievements of others but against an abstract ideal of discipline and self-denial. At the turn of the century, however, preachments on success began to stress the will to win. The bureaucratization of the corporate career changed the conditions of self-advancement; ambitious young men now had to compete with their peers for the attention and approval of their superiors. The struggle to surpass the previous generation and to provide for the next gave way to a form of sibling rivalry, in which men of approximately equal abilities jostled against each other in competition for a limited number of places. Advancement now depended on “will-power, self-confidence, energy, and initiative” - the qualities celebrated in such exemplary writings as George Lorimer’s Letters from a Self-Made Merchant to His Son. ” By the end of the nineteenth century,” writes John Cawelti in his study of the success myth, “self-help books were dominated by the ethos of sales-manship and boosterism. Personal magnetism, a quality which supposedly enabled a man to influence and dominate others, became one of the major keys to success.” In 1907, both Lorimer’s Saturday Evening Post and Orison Swett Marden’s Success magazine inaugurated departments of instruction in the “art of conversation,” fashion, and “culture.” The management of interpersonal relations came to be seen as the essence of self-advancement. The captain of industry gave way to the confidence man, the master of impressions. Young men were told that they had to sell themselves in order to succeed.
At first, self-testing through competition remained almost in-distinguishable from moral self-discipline and self-culture, but the difference became unmistakable when Dale Carnegie and then Norman Vincent Peale restated and transformed the tradition of Mather, Franklin, Barnum, and Lorimer. As a formula for success, winning friends and influencing people had little in common with industry and thrift. The prophets of positive thinking disparaged “the old adage that hard work alone is the magic key that will unlock the door to our desires.” They praised the love of money, officially condemned even by the crudest of Gilded Age materialists, as a useful incentive. “You can never have riches in great quantities,” wrote Napoleon Hill in this Think and Grow Rich,” unless you can work yourself into a white heat of desire for money.” The pursuit of wealth lost the few shreds of moral meaning that still clung to it. Formerly the Protestant virtues appeared to have an independent value of their own. Even when they became purely instrumental, in the second half of the nineteenth century, success itself retained moral and social overtones, by virtue of its contribution to the sum of human comfort and progress. Now success appeared as an end in its own right, the victory over your competitors that alone retained the capacity to instill a sense of self-approval. The latest success manuals differ from earlier ones - even surpassing the cynicism of Dale Carnegie and Peale - in their frank acceptance of the need to exploit and intimidate others, in their lack of interest in the substance of success, and in the candor with which they insist that appearances - “winning images - count for more than performance, ascription for more than achievement. One author seems to imply that the self consists of little more than its “image” reflected in others’ eyes. “Although I’m not being original when I say it, I’m sure you’ll agree that the way you see yourself will reflect the image you portray to others.” Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.
<The American Religion by Harold Bloom (California Orphism)>
The Apotheosis of Individualism
The fear that haunted the social critics and theorists of the fifties - that rugged individualism had succumbed to conformity and “love-pressure sociability” - appears in retrospect to have been premature. In 1960, David Riesman complained that young people no longer had much social “presence,” their education having provided them not with “a polished personality but [with] an affable, casual, adaptable one, suitable to the losing organizations of an affluent society.” It is true that “a present-oriented hedonism,” as Riseman went on the argue, has replaced the work ethic “among the very classes which in the earlier stages of industrialization were oriented toward the future, toward distant goals and delayed gratification.” But this hedonism is a fraud; the pursuit of pleasure disguises a struggle for power. Americans have not really become more sociable and cooperative, as the theorists of other-direction and conformity would like us to believe; they have merely become more adept at exploiting the conventions of interpersonal relations for their own benefit. Activities ostensibly undertaken purely for enjoyment often have the real object of doing others in. It is symptomatic of the underlying tenor of American life that vulgar terms for sexual intercourse also convey the sense of getting the better of someone, working him over, taking him in, imposing your will through guile, deception, or superior force. Verbs associated with sexual pleasure have acquired more than the usual overtones of violence and psychic exploitation. In the violent world of the ghetto, the language of which now pervades American society as a whole, the violence associated with sexual intercourse is directed with special intensity by men against women, specifically against their mothers. The language of ritualized aggression and abuse reminds those who use it that exploitation is the general rule and some form of dependence the common fate, that “the individual,” in Lee Rainwater’s words, “is not strong enough or adult enough to achieve his goal in a legitimate way, but is rather like a child, dependent on others who tolerate his childish maneuvers”; accordingly males, even adult males, often depend on women for support and nurture. Many of them have to pimp for a living, ingratiating themselves with a woman in order to pry money from her; sexual relations thus become manipulative and predatory. Satisfaction depends on taking what you want instead of waiting for what is rightfully yours to receive. All this enters everyday speech in language that connects sex with aggression and sexual aggression with highly ambivalent feelings about mothers.
In some ways middle-class society has become a pale copy of the black ghetto, as the appropriation of its language would lead us to believe. We do not need to minimize the poverty of the ghetto or the suffering inflicted by whites on blacks in order to see that the increasingly dangerous and unpredictable conditions of middle-class life have given rise to similar strategies for survival. Indeed the attraction of black culture for disaffected whites suggests that black culture now speaks to a general condition, the most important feature of which is a widespread loss of confidence in the future. The poor have always had to live for the present, but now a desperate concern for personal survival, sometimes disguised as hedonism, engulfs the middle class as well. Today almost everyone lives in a dangerous world from which there is little escape. International terrorism and blackmail, bombings, and hijackings arbitrarily affect the rich and poor alike. Crime, violence, and gang wars make cities unsafe and threaten to spread to the suburbs. Racial violence on the streets and in the schools creates an atmosphere of chronic tension and threatens to erupt at any time into full-scale racial conflict. Unemployment spreads from the poor the white-collar class, while inflation eats away the savings of those who hoped to retire in comfort. Much of what is euphemistically known as the middle class, merely because it dresses up to go to work, is now reduced to proletarian conditions of existence. Many white-collar jobs require no more skill and pay even less than blue-collar jobs, conferring little status or security. The propaganda of death and destruction, emanating ceaselessly from the mass media, adds to the prevailing atmosphere of insecurity. Far-flung famines, earthquakes in remote regions, distant wars and uprisings attract the same attention as events closer to home. The impression of arbitrariness in the reporting of disaster reinforces the arbitrary quality of experience itself, and the absence of continuity in the coverage of events, as today’s crisis yields to a new and unrelated crisis tomorrow, adds to the sense of historical discontinuity - the sense of living in a world in which the past holds out no guidance to the present and the future has become completely unpredictable.
Older conceptions of success presupposed a world in rapid motion, in which fortunes were rapidly won and lost and new opportunities unfolded every day. Yet they also presupposed a certain stability, a future that bore some recognizable resemblance to the present and the past. The growth of bureaucracy, the cult of consumption with its immediate gratifications, but above all the severance of the sense of historical continuity have transformed the Protestant ethic while carrying the underlying principles of capitalist society to their logical conclusion
Sade imagined a sexual utopia in which everyone has the right to everyone else, where human beings, reduced to their sexual organs, become absolutely anonymous and interchangeable. His ideal society thus reaffirmed the capitalist principle that human beings are ultimately reducible to interchangeable objects. It also incorporated and carried to a surprising new conclusion Hobbes’s discovery that the destruction of paternalism and the subordination of all social relations to the market had stripped away the remaining restraints and the mitigating illusions from the war of all against all. In the resulting state of organized anarchy, as Sade was the first to realize, pleasure becomes life’s only business - pleasure, however, that is indistinguishable from rape, murder, unbridled aggression. In a society that has reduced reason to mere calculation, reason can impose no limits on the pursuit of pleasure - on the immediate gratification of every desire no matter how perverse, insane, criminal, or merely immoral. For the standards that would condemn crime or cruelty derive from religion, compassion, or the kind of reason that rejects purely instrumental applications; and none of these outmoded forms of thought or feeling has any logical place in a society based on commodity production. In his misogyny, Sade perceived that bourgeois enlightenment, carried to its logical conclusions, condemned even the sentimental cult of womanhood and the family, which the bourgeoisie itself had carried to unprecedented extremes.
At the same time, he saw that condemnation of “woman-worship” had to go hand in hand with a defense of woman’s sexual rights - their right to dispose of their own bodies, as feminists would put it today. If the exercise of that right in Sade’s utopia boils down to the duty to become an instrument of someone else’s pleasure, it was not so much because Sade hated women as because he hated humanity. He perceived, more clearly than the feminists, that all freedoms under capitalism come in the end to the same thing, the same universal obligation to enjoy and be enjoyed. In the same breath, and without violating his own logic, Sade demanded for women the right “fully to satisfy all their desires” and “all parts of their bodies” and categorically stated that “all women must submit to our pleasure.” Pure individualism thus issued in the most radical repudiation of individuality. “All men, all women resemble each other,” according to Sade; and to those of his countrymen who would become republicans he adds this ominous warning: “Do not think you can make good republicans so long as you isolated in their families the children who should belong to the republic alone.” The bourgeois defense of privacy culminates - not just in Sade’s thought but in the history to come, so accurately foreshadowed in the very excess, madness, infantilism of his ideas - in the most thoroughgoing attack on privacy; the glorification of the individual, in his annihilation.
<…>
Standing-Reserve.
Note a lack of the “Greek” in Lasch.
Visions of Excess: Selected Writings, 1927-1939 by Georges Bataille, Edited by A. Stoekl, Translated by A. Stoekl, C.R. Lovitt, and D.M. Leslie Jr.
<…>
2024.05.16 05:03 sableheart May Super Sale 2024 ends 5/20 JST
[Sale]()
Stories released after January 2024, More stories and Love Choice stories are not part of the sale.Main Stories have 100 coins off and Special Stories are 100 coins for the following titles:
- When Destiny Comes Knocking
- Rose in the Embers
- Era of Samurai: Code of Love
- After School Affairs
- Love Letter from Thief X
- Kissed by the Baddest Bidder
- Enchanted in the Moonlight
- Our Two Bedroom Story
- My Last First Kiss
- Butler Until Midnight
- My Forged Wedding
- Scandal in the Spotlight
- Seduced in the Sleepless City
- In Your Arms Tonight
- In Your Arms Tonight 2
- Be My Princess
- Be My Princess 2
- Finally, in Love Again
- Our Private Homeroom
- A Knight's Devotion
- Office Secrets
- Serendipity Next Door
- Kiss of Revenge
- Kiss Me on Clover Hill
- Kings of Paradise
- Dreamy Days in West Tokyo
- Class Trip Crush
- Sakura Amidst Chaos
- True Love Sweet Lies
- First Love Diaries
- 10 Days with My Devil
- My Wedding and 7 Rings
- Dangerous Seduction
- Bad Boys Do it Better!
- Pirates in Love: Captain's Cut
- Star-Crossed Myth
- Celebrity Darling
- Love Brings You Home
- Diary of a Step-Sister
- Forget Me Not, My Love
- Masquerade Kiss
- Romance MD: Always on Call
- Destind: Mr Almost Right
- Wanted: Romance Renegades
- Love's Hella Punk
- Codename: Cupid
- Professional Boyfriend
- My Lady Juliet
- A World With(out) You
- Exclusively Yours: An Office Affair
- Oops, I Said Yes?!
- A Date with Yesterday
- Irresistible Mistake
2024.05.16 04:45 kuramatd WTS CRK Large Sebenza 31, Benchmade Shootout, Buck Folder Bundle, DMT Diafolds, Civivi Bluetick, and Otter Messer.
Greetings, Swappers! Looking to move along a bunch of stuff tonight. Seeking PayPal F&F on everything. Not looking for any trades at the moment.
I am working a 12 tomorrow so these will all have to ship out Friday, May 17, 2026 via USPS. Will have everything packed and tracking numbers provided after work tomorrow (~6pm EST).
CRK Large Sebenza 31 Plain Jane Magnacut Steel DOB June 27, 2023 -- SV: $370 SOLD to u/roberttri2
Buck Folder Bundle 2x 110s, 1x 389, 1x 500 -- SV: $75 SOLD to u/Kodiakfighter
Civivi Bluetick Green Micarta Scales Blackwashed 14C28N Steel -- SV: $40 SOLD to u/Lan_Woo
Otter Messer Large Classic Folding Knife Carbon Steel -- SV: $40 SOLD to u/Snottsdale
submitted by kuramatd to Knife_Swap [link] [comments]
I am working a 12 tomorrow so these will all have to ship out Friday, May 17, 2026 via USPS. Will have everything packed and tracking numbers provided after work tomorrow (~6pm EST).
Timestamp/Album
This one has definitely been a user. It's been in my pocket for nearly a year and bears the snail trails to prove it on the scales and pocket clip. Some scratching toward the very tip, but nothing else major to point out. Has been resharpened and stropped. Has excellent centering and that bank vault lockup you've come to expect from CRK knives. I did cut the lanyard off, so it'll be included in the original box along with the tool, microfiber cloth, and other goodies. I am the original owner and it'll come in the original box, along with its papers.
- This one has been a user and does bear some snail trailing on the DLC from breaking down some cardboard. Has been resharpened and stropped by me. Action is silky smooth -- haven't had it go off the rails on me yet. Will come in the original packaging. I am the first owner and only user.
Buck 110 #1 is an older 110 that I purchased off eBay about 8 months ago. Had Buck reblade it with a 420HC drop point blade, though they did so with a blade with an ugly grind finish on the top of the blade. I have since resharpened the blade and tightened up the pivot bolster to eliminate the slight blade play it had. Centering isn't perfect, but the action is decent and it's a great tool. No box and no sheath.Buck 110 #2 is the SMKW Exclusive in S30V steel. It has god-awful ugly scales in my opinion, which is why I'm moving it along. It is pretty well centered, but there's a slight bit of side-to-side blade play when deployed. Original edge on this one. No box and no sheath.Buck 389 is the Walmart Exclusive Buck Canoe. Never carried/cut/sharpened. I am the orignal owner. Has super minimal blade play on the "large" blade. No box or sheath on this one. I am the original owner.Buck 500 is something I picked up from Buck's website last year. Came with some side to side blade play but it is centered. Original edge on this one and will come with its sheath. No box.
- Two DMT Diafolds. Super lightly used (as in maybe 3 uses), have a ton of life in 'em. They're a Coarse/Extra Coarse stone and a Fine/Extra Fine stone. I am the original owner.
I am the original owner. Has been carried for a few weeks. Some minor sails on the blackwashed blade and a very faint one on the clip. Replaced the stock clip with the titanium Civivi clip (will include the orignal in the box). Centering is excellent, no blade play, and drops shut as you'd expect from a Civivi. Comes with the original box and taco.
I ordered this recently due to being on a carbon steel slipjoint kick, but it couldn't push my GEC Bullbuster out of my pocket, so I'm moving it along. Never pocketed, might have opened a letter or two with it. Has its original edge. 3.25" blade, made in Solingen, Germany. No blade play and centering is pretty solid. Action is snappy. No box on this one.
2024.05.16 04:35 Spirited-Usual-1557 Son’s birdhouse got me a fine
FHOA
My son had turned 4 and wanted to build a birdhouse. I am thrilled any time he wants to make something and not sit glued to the TV or ipad, so we went out to get one of those birdhouse kits with the pre-cut pieces.
He loves being independent so aside from starting the nails and helping him figure out which piece goes where, I let him do his thing. He even painted it after, calling it the rainbow house (so you can guess what it looked like). This thing was barely staying together, but it was his and he was so proud of it.
We put it on our table on the back deck and when I got home from work the next day I had a letter from the HOA shoved in my door. It was a $50 fine for having an animal sanctuary on our property. I went down to the property management office to argue the fine and was told they would take me to court if I didnt pay.
Since technically it fell under the definition of an "animal sanctuary", even though I doubt any birds would ever use it, I decided to save some money and just pay the fine instead of fighting it in court.
The worst part of this whole ordeal was explaining to my son why he couldn't show off his birdhouse. I told him what the HOA said and he told me when we move next time, that we should make sure there aren't any HOAs around.
submitted by Spirited-Usual-1557 to fuckHOA [link] [comments]
My son had turned 4 and wanted to build a birdhouse. I am thrilled any time he wants to make something and not sit glued to the TV or ipad, so we went out to get one of those birdhouse kits with the pre-cut pieces.
He loves being independent so aside from starting the nails and helping him figure out which piece goes where, I let him do his thing. He even painted it after, calling it the rainbow house (so you can guess what it looked like). This thing was barely staying together, but it was his and he was so proud of it.
We put it on our table on the back deck and when I got home from work the next day I had a letter from the HOA shoved in my door. It was a $50 fine for having an animal sanctuary on our property. I went down to the property management office to argue the fine and was told they would take me to court if I didnt pay.
Since technically it fell under the definition of an "animal sanctuary", even though I doubt any birds would ever use it, I decided to save some money and just pay the fine instead of fighting it in court.
The worst part of this whole ordeal was explaining to my son why he couldn't show off his birdhouse. I told him what the HOA said and he told me when we move next time, that we should make sure there aren't any HOAs around.
2024.05.16 04:34 Snoo-79591 Me(19m) and fiancé (20m) trying to figure out situation
Need help on relationship issue
So, recently my boyfriend/fiancé(turning 20 next month) of two years and I(19) “broke up” and cut contact because his parents were like “you’re wasting your life away” there’s not many job opportunities over around him without a car (he lives in Hawaii) and he says he wants to get out of no contact one day but I’m currently writing a letter and I feel like I should say something about this situation and how it can be handled? The thing is his parents keep saying they’ll cut off his service and/or take away everything which isn't fair and theres a way for us to get out of no contact which is him going to his biological moms place (in mexico) which he's been there before but its been a year since hes been back and his mom (grandma in hawaii) doesn't want him leaving bc worried bc she and her husband are getting older and yes I understand that but he and I are long distance so its like we have to visit each other. I was also thinking about visiting and asking his best friend to help me plan a surprise party for his birthday. i just need help with advice/solutions please. Currently we’re supposed to be no contact, but we still have all information of each others
submitted by Snoo-79591 to Advice [link] [comments]
So, recently my boyfriend/fiancé(turning 20 next month) of two years and I(19) “broke up” and cut contact because his parents were like “you’re wasting your life away” there’s not many job opportunities over around him without a car (he lives in Hawaii) and he says he wants to get out of no contact one day but I’m currently writing a letter and I feel like I should say something about this situation and how it can be handled? The thing is his parents keep saying they’ll cut off his service and/or take away everything which isn't fair and theres a way for us to get out of no contact which is him going to his biological moms place (in mexico) which he's been there before but its been a year since hes been back and his mom (grandma in hawaii) doesn't want him leaving bc worried bc she and her husband are getting older and yes I understand that but he and I are long distance so its like we have to visit each other. I was also thinking about visiting and asking his best friend to help me plan a surprise party for his birthday. i just need help with advice/solutions please. Currently we’re supposed to be no contact, but we still have all information of each others
2024.05.16 04:25 Interesting_Leg_3115 Type me based on song lyrics I connect to
Song Lyrics I connect to
I listen to a LOT of music, so I’ll just go with some I really connect to
All the lyrics from Fire Drill by Melanie Martinez but I’ll pick a few
“Crying inside cause nothing I say ever comes out right” -Fire Drill
“I’ve never fit into any category Always deemed an outcast” -Fire Drill
“I’m bad at public speaking But I’m speaking now so hear me out I personally believe that everyone is fully capable of more than what they’re doing All of the bullying All of the screwing around with people they don’t really know” -Fire Drill
“I am not apart of anything that is hateful Love is seeping out my pores, I don’t feel anger anymore, even for people who hurt and betray me” -Fire Drill
“I’m just another teenage tragedy And life keeps draining my batteries” -Teenage Tragedy- Rory Webley
“You don’t want to know me, I will just let you down” -Castles Crumbling- Taylor Swift
“Now they’re screaming that they hate me Never wanted you to hate me” -Castles Crumbling
“I’ve got a smile cut into my cheeks I hide things when I speak Looks like I mean it I guess I’m a joker My hairs burnt from the bleach I hope you like what you see Need you like me I guess I’m the joker Why so serious?” -Joker, Rory Webley
“The thoughts in my brain, I’m going insane I’m somebody Arkham Asylum could never contain” -Joker
“Seems kind of dumb to worry bout good grades when this generation’s dealing with its own black plague”—Everybody Dies, Rory Webley
“It’s kinda sad to watch your superheroes fall from grace”- Everybody Dies- Rory Webley
“Feels like I’m dead before I’m even in the casket” -Everybody Dies
“Telling me that the end’s getting closer While I’m sitting on my phone scrolling TikTok turning my brain into a toaster” -Everybody Dies
“Your heart’s too big for your body That’s why it won’t fit inside You pore it out where everyone can see” -Crybaby, Melanie Martinez
“So what if I’m crazy, all the best people are”—Mad Hatter, Melanie Martinez
“You and I’ll be safe and sound” -Taylor Swift, Safe and Sound
“Why do I always spill? Feel it coming out my throat Guess I better wash my mouth out with soap” -Soap, Melanie Martinez
“Why’d I put my heart on every cursive letter?” -Melanie Martinez, Pity Party
“Why not me?” -Washing Machine Heart, Mitski
“What was I made for?” -What was I made for- Billie Eilish
“Loving you was lethal, guess that makes me evil” -EVIL, Melanie Martinez
“If you bite my hand again I will never feed you” -Melanie Martinez, EVIL
“I like shiny things but I’d marry you with paper rings You’re the one I want And I hate accidents Except when we went from friends to this”-Paper Rings, Taylor Swift
“I see things that nobody else sees”- Dollhouse, Melanie Martinez
“I’ll try not to starve myself Just because you’re mad at me” -Tv- Billie Eilish
“It’s you that I lie with As the atom bomb locks in”—As The World Caves In- Matt Maltese
“I’m not cool and I’m not smart and I can’t even parallel park 🤪” -brutal- Olivia Rodrigo
“Who is in control?” -Control, Halsey
“Go on and step on me” -Step On Me- The Cardigans
“You’re perfectly imperfect, You’re hurting but you’re worth it You don’t know why I would waste my time But I’m falling and I mean it I want you like I need it There’s nothing you could try to change my mind Cause I’m In Love With You” -Perfectly Imperfect, Declan J Donavan
“Your body is imperfectly imperfect Everyone wants what the other one’s working” -Orange Juice, Melanie Martinez
“My heart just burst like the glass balloon I let it fly too high and it shattered to soon” -MARINA, Hermit The Frog
“I’ve been chosen last since the kindergarten” -Chosen Last, Sara Kays
“I’m so sick of myself” -jealousy jealousy- Olivia Rodrigo
“The world will feel the fire and finally know” -The World Will Know- Newsies
“Just an appendage live to attend him so that he never lifts a finger” -labour- Paris Paloma
“Im more than my body” -Body, Jordan Suaste
submitted by Interesting_Leg_3115 to MbtiTypeMe [link] [comments]
I listen to a LOT of music, so I’ll just go with some I really connect to
All the lyrics from Fire Drill by Melanie Martinez but I’ll pick a few
“Crying inside cause nothing I say ever comes out right” -Fire Drill
“I’ve never fit into any category Always deemed an outcast” -Fire Drill
“I’m bad at public speaking But I’m speaking now so hear me out I personally believe that everyone is fully capable of more than what they’re doing All of the bullying All of the screwing around with people they don’t really know” -Fire Drill
“I am not apart of anything that is hateful Love is seeping out my pores, I don’t feel anger anymore, even for people who hurt and betray me” -Fire Drill
“I’m just another teenage tragedy And life keeps draining my batteries” -Teenage Tragedy- Rory Webley
“You don’t want to know me, I will just let you down” -Castles Crumbling- Taylor Swift
“Now they’re screaming that they hate me Never wanted you to hate me” -Castles Crumbling
“I’ve got a smile cut into my cheeks I hide things when I speak Looks like I mean it I guess I’m a joker My hairs burnt from the bleach I hope you like what you see Need you like me I guess I’m the joker Why so serious?” -Joker, Rory Webley
“The thoughts in my brain, I’m going insane I’m somebody Arkham Asylum could never contain” -Joker
“Seems kind of dumb to worry bout good grades when this generation’s dealing with its own black plague”—Everybody Dies, Rory Webley
“It’s kinda sad to watch your superheroes fall from grace”- Everybody Dies- Rory Webley
“Feels like I’m dead before I’m even in the casket” -Everybody Dies
“Telling me that the end’s getting closer While I’m sitting on my phone scrolling TikTok turning my brain into a toaster” -Everybody Dies
“Your heart’s too big for your body That’s why it won’t fit inside You pore it out where everyone can see” -Crybaby, Melanie Martinez
“So what if I’m crazy, all the best people are”—Mad Hatter, Melanie Martinez
“You and I’ll be safe and sound” -Taylor Swift, Safe and Sound
“Why do I always spill? Feel it coming out my throat Guess I better wash my mouth out with soap” -Soap, Melanie Martinez
“Why’d I put my heart on every cursive letter?” -Melanie Martinez, Pity Party
“Why not me?” -Washing Machine Heart, Mitski
“What was I made for?” -What was I made for- Billie Eilish
“Loving you was lethal, guess that makes me evil” -EVIL, Melanie Martinez
“If you bite my hand again I will never feed you” -Melanie Martinez, EVIL
“I like shiny things but I’d marry you with paper rings You’re the one I want And I hate accidents Except when we went from friends to this”-Paper Rings, Taylor Swift
“I see things that nobody else sees”- Dollhouse, Melanie Martinez
“I’ll try not to starve myself Just because you’re mad at me” -Tv- Billie Eilish
“It’s you that I lie with As the atom bomb locks in”—As The World Caves In- Matt Maltese
“I’m not cool and I’m not smart and I can’t even parallel park 🤪” -brutal- Olivia Rodrigo
“Who is in control?” -Control, Halsey
“Go on and step on me” -Step On Me- The Cardigans
“You’re perfectly imperfect, You’re hurting but you’re worth it You don’t know why I would waste my time But I’m falling and I mean it I want you like I need it There’s nothing you could try to change my mind Cause I’m In Love With You” -Perfectly Imperfect, Declan J Donavan
“Your body is imperfectly imperfect Everyone wants what the other one’s working” -Orange Juice, Melanie Martinez
“My heart just burst like the glass balloon I let it fly too high and it shattered to soon” -MARINA, Hermit The Frog
“I’ve been chosen last since the kindergarten” -Chosen Last, Sara Kays
“I’m so sick of myself” -jealousy jealousy- Olivia Rodrigo
“The world will feel the fire and finally know” -The World Will Know- Newsies
“Just an appendage live to attend him so that he never lifts a finger” -labour- Paris Paloma
“Im more than my body” -Body, Jordan Suaste
2024.05.16 04:23 Snoo-79591 Fiancé’s (20m) parents coming between him and I (19m)
Need help on relationship issue
So, recently my boyfriend/fiancé(turning 20 next month) of two years and I(19) “broke up” and cut contact because his parents were like “you’re wasting your life away” there’s not many job opportunities over around him without a car (he lives in Hawaii) and he says he wants to get out of no contact one day but I’m currently writing a letter and I feel like I should say something about this situation and how it can be handled? The thing is his parents keep saying they’ll cut off his service and/or take away everything which isn't fair and theres a way for us to get out of no contact which is him going to his biological moms place (in mexico) which he's been there before but its been a year since hes been back and his mom (grandma in hawaii) doesn't want him leaving bc worried bc she and her husband are getting older and yes I understand that but he and I are long distance so its like we have to visit each other. I was also thinking about visiting and asking his best friend to help me plan a surprise party for his birthday. i just need help with advice/solutions please.
submitted by Snoo-79591 to LongDistance [link] [comments]
So, recently my boyfriend/fiancé(turning 20 next month) of two years and I(19) “broke up” and cut contact because his parents were like “you’re wasting your life away” there’s not many job opportunities over around him without a car (he lives in Hawaii) and he says he wants to get out of no contact one day but I’m currently writing a letter and I feel like I should say something about this situation and how it can be handled? The thing is his parents keep saying they’ll cut off his service and/or take away everything which isn't fair and theres a way for us to get out of no contact which is him going to his biological moms place (in mexico) which he's been there before but its been a year since hes been back and his mom (grandma in hawaii) doesn't want him leaving bc worried bc she and her husband are getting older and yes I understand that but he and I are long distance so its like we have to visit each other. I was also thinking about visiting and asking his best friend to help me plan a surprise party for his birthday. i just need help with advice/solutions please.
2024.05.16 04:07 goredsox777 (Selling) $2 Code Sale: HD & 4K
Prices are firm.
———————————
SOLD - 13 Hours (4K iTunes)
$2 - Action Point (4K iTunes)
$2 - Age of Adaline (HD iTunes)
SOLD - Bad Words (HD MA)
$2 - Battleship (HD MA)
SOLD - Before I Fall (HD MA)
$2 - Book Club (4K iTunes)
$2 - Boyhood (HD iTunes)
$2 - Cabin in the Woods (4K iTunes)
SOLD - Daddy’s Home 2 (4K iTunes)
SOLD - Despicable Me 3 (HD MA)
SOLD - Escape Plan (4K iTunes)
SOLD - E.T. Extra Terrestrial (HD MA)
$2 - Get Out (HD MA)
SOLD - Ghost in the Shell (Live Action) (4K iTunes)
$2 - Girl on the Train (HD MA)
$2 - The Great Wall (HD MA)
$2 - Hail, Caesar! (HD MA)
$2 - Hardcore Henry (HD MA)
$2 - Hop (HD MA)
$2 - Hugo (HD Vudu or iTunes)
$2 - Jurassic Park III (HD MA)
$2 - Logan Lucky (HD MA)
$2 - Lone Survivor (4K MA)
$2 - The Lorax (HD MA)
$2 - The Mummy (2017) (HD MA)
$2 - Non-Stop (HD MA)
$2 - Now You See Me 2 (4K iTunes)
$2 - Oblivion (HD MA)
SOLD - A Quiet Place (4K iTunes)
$2 - Riddick (Unrated Director’s Cut) (HD MA)
$2 - Ride Along (HD MA)
$2 - Ride Along 2 (HD MA)
$2 - R.I.P.D. (HD MA)
$2 - Safe (HD iTunes)
SOLD - Safe House (HD MA)
SOLD - Selma (HD iTunes)
$2 - Split (HD MA)
$2 - Snitch (4K iTunes)
$2 - Unbroken (HD MA)
—————————————-
$20 - 10 Film Collection; one MA code redeems the following: 4K The Departed, 4K The Hangover, 4K I Am Legend, 4K Pan’s Labyrinth, HD A.I. Artificial Intelligence, HD A History of Violence, HD Best in Show, HD Letters from Iwo Jima, HD Ocean’s Eleven (2001), HD Mystic River
$9 - 5 Film Bourne Collection: Identity, Supremacy, Ultimatum, Legacy & Jason Bourne (HD MA; separate codes)
$5 - Gran Turismo (4K MA)
$4 - Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark (4K iTunes)
$2.50 - Sicario (4K iTunes)
$5 - The Social Network (4K MA)
$5 - Whiplash (4K MA)
———————————————
Google Play codes that port to Vudu and iTunes via Movies Anywhere:
$1.50 - Iron Man 3 (HD)
—————————————————-
$3 each or 2 for $5 - May Universal Rewards - Choose one title from below, redeems on MA:
Agnes Browne (HD)
Antz (HD)
Backdraft 2 (4K on MA only)
Being Frank (HD)
Black Christmas (4K)
A Dog's Purpose (4K on MA only)
Don't Let Go (HD)
Final Account (HD)
Kicks (HD)
Loving (HD)
Raw (HD)
The Sparks Brothers (4K)
———————————————————
submitted by goredsox777 to DigitalCodeSELL [link] [comments]
———————————
SOLD - 13 Hours (4K iTunes)
$2 - Action Point (4K iTunes)
$2 - Age of Adaline (HD iTunes)
SOLD - Bad Words (HD MA)
$2 - Battleship (HD MA)
SOLD - Before I Fall (HD MA)
$2 - Book Club (4K iTunes)
$2 - Boyhood (HD iTunes)
$2 - Cabin in the Woods (4K iTunes)
SOLD - Daddy’s Home 2 (4K iTunes)
SOLD - Despicable Me 3 (HD MA)
SOLD - Escape Plan (4K iTunes)
SOLD - E.T. Extra Terrestrial (HD MA)
$2 - Get Out (HD MA)
SOLD - Ghost in the Shell (Live Action) (4K iTunes)
$2 - Girl on the Train (HD MA)
$2 - The Great Wall (HD MA)
$2 - Hail, Caesar! (HD MA)
$2 - Hardcore Henry (HD MA)
$2 - Hop (HD MA)
$2 - Hugo (HD Vudu or iTunes)
$2 - Jurassic Park III (HD MA)
$2 - Logan Lucky (HD MA)
$2 - Lone Survivor (4K MA)
$2 - The Lorax (HD MA)
$2 - The Mummy (2017) (HD MA)
$2 - Non-Stop (HD MA)
$2 - Now You See Me 2 (4K iTunes)
$2 - Oblivion (HD MA)
SOLD - A Quiet Place (4K iTunes)
$2 - Riddick (Unrated Director’s Cut) (HD MA)
$2 - Ride Along (HD MA)
$2 - Ride Along 2 (HD MA)
$2 - R.I.P.D. (HD MA)
$2 - Safe (HD iTunes)
SOLD - Safe House (HD MA)
SOLD - Selma (HD iTunes)
$2 - Split (HD MA)
$2 - Snitch (4K iTunes)
$2 - Unbroken (HD MA)
—————————————-
$20 - 10 Film Collection; one MA code redeems the following: 4K The Departed, 4K The Hangover, 4K I Am Legend, 4K Pan’s Labyrinth, HD A.I. Artificial Intelligence, HD A History of Violence, HD Best in Show, HD Letters from Iwo Jima, HD Ocean’s Eleven (2001), HD Mystic River
$9 - 5 Film Bourne Collection: Identity, Supremacy, Ultimatum, Legacy & Jason Bourne (HD MA; separate codes)
$5 - Gran Turismo (4K MA)
$4 - Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark (4K iTunes)
$2.50 - Sicario (4K iTunes)
$5 - The Social Network (4K MA)
$5 - Whiplash (4K MA)
———————————————
Google Play codes that port to Vudu and iTunes via Movies Anywhere:
$1.50 - Iron Man 3 (HD)
—————————————————-
$3 each or 2 for $5 - May Universal Rewards - Choose one title from below, redeems on MA:
Agnes Browne (HD)
Antz (HD)
Backdraft 2 (4K on MA only)
Being Frank (HD)
Black Christmas (4K)
A Dog's Purpose (4K on MA only)
Don't Let Go (HD)
Final Account (HD)
Kicks (HD)
Loving (HD)
Raw (HD)
The Sparks Brothers (4K)
———————————————————
2024.05.16 03:35 NaomeWatts SOS what do I do with my insane parent in laws
In 2016, I met my husbands parents for the first time, and initially, everything was great. His mother, seemed particularly cool, sharing my interests in fashion and design. However, during a subsequent visit, a friend of his mother mentioned that she was speaking negatively about me, which puzzled and upset me.
Kevin's father later explained that the mother said she felt uncomfortable with me, citing my happiness and upbeat American-ness as issues. Despite this, I was just being my normal self, which might have clashed culturally since they are German and French.
Over the years, the mother in laws behavior oscillated between being nice and giving me gifts, to being jealous and attacking me verbally. She even made inappropriate comments, like accusing me of having a liking for older men due to my father's death and saying that I was looking at her husband. It felt very clear she was just incredibly jealous and insecure woman and my husband told me of how many issues of jealousy that has happened so many times with the father. Every time my husband would ask his mother why I make her uncomfortable or why she doesn’t like me, she has no answer, and can’t come up with any concrete but says “she’s so American” and “I just have a feeling she is bad”
The breaking point came during a stay when we were visiting them, where the mother in law’s spiteful comments culminated in a hurtful email randomly accusing me of ingratitude and insensitivity when I brought her a gift thanked her for anytime but it was not the root of the problem. . My husband and and I responded firmly, expressing our disappointment and setting boundaries against their emotional manipulation.
Despite our efforts to address the issues, the mother in law continued with baseless accusations, including claiming I made advances towards my husbands father. Which absolutely freaked up out, we received a random email saying the the father was looking at me, because I was begging for attention and that he never wants to see me again because I was the cause of all the problems. Which is sick and was very true . It was disgusting that they manipulated me being causal and totally appropriately nice .
This led us to distance ourselves and eventually move to America.
2 years later after cutting off all contact, we slowly decide to plan a trip to Europe, the mother in law questioned whether I would be coming (we’re married) and threw a fit saying they will not say me and made further unfounded accusations and suggesting I needed therapy and that I am manipulating my husband and I was trying to hurt the other in law in person and was hitting on my husbands father.
My husband tried to mediate, but their refusal to acknowledge their hurtful actions and refusal to believe the truth. They prefer to live in this web of lives because it serves them. They have constantly serves narcissism throughout the years but this has gotten sick.
I'm now left wondering if sending them a letter would make any difference, considering the deep-rooted issues and continuous toxic behavior from my husbands parents SOS! Please I would love advice
submitted by NaomeWatts to narcissisticparents [link] [comments]
Kevin's father later explained that the mother said she felt uncomfortable with me, citing my happiness and upbeat American-ness as issues. Despite this, I was just being my normal self, which might have clashed culturally since they are German and French.
Over the years, the mother in laws behavior oscillated between being nice and giving me gifts, to being jealous and attacking me verbally. She even made inappropriate comments, like accusing me of having a liking for older men due to my father's death and saying that I was looking at her husband. It felt very clear she was just incredibly jealous and insecure woman and my husband told me of how many issues of jealousy that has happened so many times with the father. Every time my husband would ask his mother why I make her uncomfortable or why she doesn’t like me, she has no answer, and can’t come up with any concrete but says “she’s so American” and “I just have a feeling she is bad”
The breaking point came during a stay when we were visiting them, where the mother in law’s spiteful comments culminated in a hurtful email randomly accusing me of ingratitude and insensitivity when I brought her a gift thanked her for anytime but it was not the root of the problem. . My husband and and I responded firmly, expressing our disappointment and setting boundaries against their emotional manipulation.
Despite our efforts to address the issues, the mother in law continued with baseless accusations, including claiming I made advances towards my husbands father. Which absolutely freaked up out, we received a random email saying the the father was looking at me, because I was begging for attention and that he never wants to see me again because I was the cause of all the problems. Which is sick and was very true . It was disgusting that they manipulated me being causal and totally appropriately nice .
This led us to distance ourselves and eventually move to America.
2 years later after cutting off all contact, we slowly decide to plan a trip to Europe, the mother in law questioned whether I would be coming (we’re married) and threw a fit saying they will not say me and made further unfounded accusations and suggesting I needed therapy and that I am manipulating my husband and I was trying to hurt the other in law in person and was hitting on my husbands father.
My husband tried to mediate, but their refusal to acknowledge their hurtful actions and refusal to believe the truth. They prefer to live in this web of lives because it serves them. They have constantly serves narcissism throughout the years but this has gotten sick.
I'm now left wondering if sending them a letter would make any difference, considering the deep-rooted issues and continuous toxic behavior from my husbands parents SOS! Please I would love advice
2024.05.16 03:28 NaomeWatts SOS! What should I do with my mentally insane mother in law !
In 2016, I met my husbands parents for the first time, and initially, everything was great. His mother, seemed particularly cool, sharing my interests in fashion and design. However, during a subsequent visit, a friend of his mother mentioned that she was speaking negatively about me, which puzzled and upset me.
Kevin's father later explained that the mother said she felt uncomfortable with me, citing my happiness and upbeat American-ness as issues. Despite this, I was just being my normal self, which might have clashed culturally since they are German and French.
Over the years, the mother in laws behavior oscillated between being nice and giving me gifts, to being jealous and attacking me verbally. She even made inappropriate comments, like accusing me of having a liking for older men due to my father's death and saying that I was looking at her husband. It felt very clear she was just incredibly jealous and insecure woman and my husband told me of how many issues of jealousy that has happened so many times with the father. Every time my husband would ask his mother why I make her uncomfortable or why she doesn’t like me, she has no answer, and can’t come up with any concrete but says “she’s so American” and “I just have a feeling she is bad”
The breaking point came during a stay when we were visiting them, where the mother in law’s spiteful comments culminated in a hurtful email randomly accusing me of ingratitude and insensitivity when I brought her a gift thanked her for anytime but it was not the root of the problem. . My husband and and I responded firmly, expressing our disappointment and setting boundaries against their emotional manipulation.
Despite our efforts to address the issues, the mother in law continued with baseless accusations, including claiming I made advances towards my husbands father. Which absolutely freaked up out, we received a random email saying the the father was looking at me, because I was begging for attention and that he never wants to see me again because I was the cause of all the problems. Which is sick and was very true . It was disgusting that they manipulated me being causal and totally appropriately nice .
This led us to distance ourselves and eventually move to America.
2 years later after cutting off all contact, we slowly decide to plan a trip to Europe, the mother in law questioned whether I would be coming (we’re married) and threw a fit saying they will not say me and made further unfounded accusations and suggesting I needed therapy and that I am manipulating my husband and I was trying to hurt the other in law in person and was hitting on my husbands father.
My husband tried to mediate, but their refusal to acknowledge their hurtful actions and refusal to believe the truth. They prefer to live in this web of lives because it serves them. They have constantly serves narcissism throughout the years but this has gotten sick.
I'm now left wondering if sending them a letter would make any difference, considering the deep-rooted issues and continuous toxic behavior from my husbands parents SOS! Please I would love advice
submitted by NaomeWatts to motherinlawsfromhell [link] [comments]
Kevin's father later explained that the mother said she felt uncomfortable with me, citing my happiness and upbeat American-ness as issues. Despite this, I was just being my normal self, which might have clashed culturally since they are German and French.
Over the years, the mother in laws behavior oscillated between being nice and giving me gifts, to being jealous and attacking me verbally. She even made inappropriate comments, like accusing me of having a liking for older men due to my father's death and saying that I was looking at her husband. It felt very clear she was just incredibly jealous and insecure woman and my husband told me of how many issues of jealousy that has happened so many times with the father. Every time my husband would ask his mother why I make her uncomfortable or why she doesn’t like me, she has no answer, and can’t come up with any concrete but says “she’s so American” and “I just have a feeling she is bad”
The breaking point came during a stay when we were visiting them, where the mother in law’s spiteful comments culminated in a hurtful email randomly accusing me of ingratitude and insensitivity when I brought her a gift thanked her for anytime but it was not the root of the problem. . My husband and and I responded firmly, expressing our disappointment and setting boundaries against their emotional manipulation.
Despite our efforts to address the issues, the mother in law continued with baseless accusations, including claiming I made advances towards my husbands father. Which absolutely freaked up out, we received a random email saying the the father was looking at me, because I was begging for attention and that he never wants to see me again because I was the cause of all the problems. Which is sick and was very true . It was disgusting that they manipulated me being causal and totally appropriately nice .
This led us to distance ourselves and eventually move to America.
2 years later after cutting off all contact, we slowly decide to plan a trip to Europe, the mother in law questioned whether I would be coming (we’re married) and threw a fit saying they will not say me and made further unfounded accusations and suggesting I needed therapy and that I am manipulating my husband and I was trying to hurt the other in law in person and was hitting on my husbands father.
My husband tried to mediate, but their refusal to acknowledge their hurtful actions and refusal to believe the truth. They prefer to live in this web of lives because it serves them. They have constantly serves narcissism throughout the years but this has gotten sick.
I'm now left wondering if sending them a letter would make any difference, considering the deep-rooted issues and continuous toxic behavior from my husbands parents SOS! Please I would love advice
2024.05.16 03:03 Headfullofsin Sued by a debt collector for emergency dental work done by aspen.. advise on how to respond to summons?
My cousin is a first time mom; she just turned 24 & she had wisdom teeth removal and a root canal done years ago on credit because she was in excruciating pain and it just had to be done but her insurance did not cover dental and at the time she was financially stable(no kid, working a full time job & bartending) but she stopped making the payments because she is working 2 days a week (hours were cut due to her not having reliable childcare and the baby has health issues resulting in problems with just anybody watching the baby (the last baby sitter missed a medication dose that landed baby into hospital) point being she’s a good person, she doesn’t have rental assistance or barely any other benefits because they do not offer them in the area she lives and she is barely even making ends meet (she was in a car accident also) …now she received a summons to court over the unpaid debt from a debt collector. Is there anyway she can get out of this situation? Mind you she only had necessity type dental work, no cosmetic work that she only was able to pay a 3rd of before life got hard. If there some type of suit to this such as hippa violation or something to get her out of this situation? Samples response letters..est are welcome.
submitted by Headfullofsin to legal [link] [comments]
2024.05.16 02:54 GoldenSupremeIce [FS] [USA] BIGGEST SALE IN HISTORY!? SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE: PRICES DROPPING EVERY OTHER DAY
WTS USA
All Prices Are Shipped
CONDITIONS AS PICTURED
If Batch is not listed assume mass market
Everything is taking offers
Prices Designed for incremental price drops
Prices Will Drop by 10% every 48 hours!
PayPal Invoice Only
All measurements are in Chest x Length or Waist x Inseam format
Timestamp and Tagged Photos: https://imgur.com/a/oXhUo83?s=sms
Tees (Pick 1 for free with a bundle of 3+ items): https://imgur.com/a/hOp5vtT?s=sms
Shoes: https://imgur.com/a/qKVPTAx?s=sms
Jiaofu Dior Pebbled Navigate Boot with Vibram Size 45 - $150
Balenciaga Xpanders Black (Worn in a pinned WDYWT!) Size 44 - $90
Balenciaga Santiag Boots (Amazing sleeper piece) Size 44 - $90
Balenciaga Trooper Boots Size 43 - $60
OK Balenciaga Runners Size 44 - $90
SLP Creepers SUPER RARE Size 44 - $80
Jil Sanders Derby (Qreps classic so sad to let them go) Size 44 - $80
Hoodies/Crewnecks/Sweaters: https://imgur.com/a/JJ616VO?s=sms
BNumbers Raf Simons New Order Hoodie Size 48 – 30x30 - $75
Korean Balenciaga Speedhunters Hoodie (No tag) Size S – 25.5x30 - $75
MrLee Balenciaga XXXL Hoodie (Shirt cut out) Size M – 29x24 - $45
Balenciaga Piercing Crewneck (Best Batch, Sold Out) Size L – 29.5x25 - $100
Redwave Vetements OG Metal Size XS – 30x26.5 - $160
LYFactory Off White Destroyed Factory Knit (Sold Out, Carti wore it!) Size @ – 24x27 - $100
Bare Knuckles Mint Cropped Sweater Size S – 27.5x21 - $65
Gucci Bee Cardigan Size M – 21x27.5 - $40
Golf Le Fleur Lacoste Cardigan Size L – 20x26 - $60
Bound2 Black Double Layer Hoodie Size M – 23x24 - $65
Balenciaga Rammstein Hoodie Extra Distressed Size S – 28x26.5 - $70
Aquan Vetements Champion Crewneck Size S – 27.5x28.5 - $60
Hats: https://imgur.com/a/SJysKjl?s=sms
Balenciaga Sinners Hat - $35
Balenciaga Gaffer Campaign Hat - $35
Balenciaga Gucci Hacker Hat - $35
Jackets: https://imgur.com/a/89NUnoU?s=sms
MrLee Balenciaga Cropped Bomber Size M – 24x20 - $90
Balenciaga Adidas Track Jacket Size 2 – 27x26 - $50
PuerHomme SLP L01 Leather Jacket Branded Hardware Size 48 – 18x24 - $300
Kappler Celine Unlock Your Fantasies Teddy Size 46– 20x22.5 - $175
Saint Laurent Houndstooth Blazer Size 46 – 18x28 - $80
MrLee Balenciaga Taxi Jacket Some Letters Peeling Size XS – 25x29.5 - $300
PuerHomme Balenciaga Padded Denim Jacket Size S – 28.5x31 - $90
Ambition Stone Island Puffer No Badge Size M – 23x26 - $70
SLP Studded Western Jacket Size M – 21.5x24.5 - $80
SLP Bloodluster Souvenir Jacket Size 48 – 21.5x22 - $85
Davies Prada Velvet Denim Jacket Size S – 22x24 - $100
PuerHomme Balenciaga Oversized Bomber Jacket Size S – 26.5x28 - $95
Balenciaga NASA Jacket (Unbranded tag) Size M – 23x29 - $100 https://imgur.com/a/UWTxABv?s=sms
Pants: https://imgur.com/a/UQ8a8lK?s=sms
Balenciaga Light Blue Lost Tape Flares Hand Distressed Size XS – 16x30 - $60
BDSJMade ERD Bootcuts FIRST BATCH Size 28 – 14.5x32 - $100
Diesel Type D Black Denim Wide Fit Size S – 15x29 - $65
Balenciaga Dark Blue Lost Tape Flares Size XS – 16x33 - $60
Balenciaga Dark Gray Lost Tape Flares Size XXS – 15.5x32 - $55
Balenciaga Ten Pocket Cargo Size L – 15x28 - $50
Balenciaga Zip Off Cargo Pants SOLD OUT Size 44 – 15x31.5 - $70
Balenciaga Wide Blue Denim Amazing Fit Size XS – 15x28 - $60
Vuja De Gray Wide Denim Size S – 15.5x30 - $50
Raf Simmons Wide Denim EXTREMELY RARE Size 1 – 17x25.5 - $70
Kiko Kostadinov Darted Trousers Size L – 15x32 - $50
Yohji Wide Trousers (The prototypical Yohji pants!) Size S – Adjustable x 22 - $80
Rick Owens Motorcycle Knee Bauhaus Trouser Size 50 – 14x27.5 - $45
Balenciaga Light Blue Skater Denim Size S – 16x26 - $50
CMMAWEAR Lotus Work Pants SOLD OUT Size S – 15x28.5 - $60
Balenciaga Kick Cargo Size XS – 15x26 - $50
Sixi Rick Owens Bauhaus Cargo Size 50 - 15x25 - $60
Tops: https://imgur.com/a/02PirKT?s=sms
ERD Frozen Beauties Flannel Size M – 20x30 - $55
Balenciaga Gamer Shirt Size M – 26x29 - $50
Undercover Vampire Shirt Damaged Tag (Extremely Rare, Sold Out) Size 1 - $85
Balenciaga Sporty B Shrunken Tee Size M – 18x23 - $35
Kappler Balenciaga Free Styling Tips Tee Size S – 23x29 - $50
Undercover Cindy Sherman Cropped Denim Shirt EXTREMELY RARE Size 3 - 23x24.5 - $80
MrLee Balenciaga Shrunken Metal Tee Size M – 16x21 - $45
Kappler Prada Emblem Tank Size S – 17x25.5 - $50
Balenciaga Tromp Loeil Shirt RARE Size 3 – 25x25 - $40
submitted by GoldenSupremeIce to QualityRepsBST [link] [comments]
All Prices Are Shipped
CONDITIONS AS PICTURED
If Batch is not listed assume mass market
Everything is taking offers
Prices Designed for incremental price drops
Prices Will Drop by 10% every 48 hours!
PayPal Invoice Only
All measurements are in Chest x Length or Waist x Inseam format
Timestamp and Tagged Photos: https://imgur.com/a/oXhUo83?s=sms
Tees (Pick 1 for free with a bundle of 3+ items): https://imgur.com/a/hOp5vtT?s=sms
Shoes: https://imgur.com/a/qKVPTAx?s=sms
Jiaofu Dior Pebbled Navigate Boot with Vibram Size 45 - $150
Balenciaga Xpanders Black (Worn in a pinned WDYWT!) Size 44 - $90
Balenciaga Santiag Boots (Amazing sleeper piece) Size 44 - $90
Balenciaga Trooper Boots Size 43 - $60
OK Balenciaga Runners Size 44 - $90
SLP Creepers SUPER RARE Size 44 - $80
Jil Sanders Derby (Qreps classic so sad to let them go) Size 44 - $80
Hoodies/Crewnecks/Sweaters: https://imgur.com/a/JJ616VO?s=sms
BNumbers Raf Simons New Order Hoodie Size 48 – 30x30 - $75
Korean Balenciaga Speedhunters Hoodie (No tag) Size S – 25.5x30 - $75
MrLee Balenciaga XXXL Hoodie (Shirt cut out) Size M – 29x24 - $45
Balenciaga Piercing Crewneck (Best Batch, Sold Out) Size L – 29.5x25 - $100
Redwave Vetements OG Metal Size XS – 30x26.5 - $160
LYFactory Off White Destroyed Factory Knit (Sold Out, Carti wore it!) Size @ – 24x27 - $100
Bare Knuckles Mint Cropped Sweater Size S – 27.5x21 - $65
Gucci Bee Cardigan Size M – 21x27.5 - $40
Golf Le Fleur Lacoste Cardigan Size L – 20x26 - $60
Bound2 Black Double Layer Hoodie Size M – 23x24 - $65
Balenciaga Rammstein Hoodie Extra Distressed Size S – 28x26.5 - $70
Aquan Vetements Champion Crewneck Size S – 27.5x28.5 - $60
Hats: https://imgur.com/a/SJysKjl?s=sms
Balenciaga Sinners Hat - $35
Balenciaga Gaffer Campaign Hat - $35
Balenciaga Gucci Hacker Hat - $35
Jackets: https://imgur.com/a/89NUnoU?s=sms
MrLee Balenciaga Cropped Bomber Size M – 24x20 - $90
Balenciaga Adidas Track Jacket Size 2 – 27x26 - $50
PuerHomme SLP L01 Leather Jacket Branded Hardware Size 48 – 18x24 - $300
Kappler Celine Unlock Your Fantasies Teddy Size 46– 20x22.5 - $175
Saint Laurent Houndstooth Blazer Size 46 – 18x28 - $80
MrLee Balenciaga Taxi Jacket Some Letters Peeling Size XS – 25x29.5 - $300
PuerHomme Balenciaga Padded Denim Jacket Size S – 28.5x31 - $90
Ambition Stone Island Puffer No Badge Size M – 23x26 - $70
SLP Studded Western Jacket Size M – 21.5x24.5 - $80
SLP Bloodluster Souvenir Jacket Size 48 – 21.5x22 - $85
Davies Prada Velvet Denim Jacket Size S – 22x24 - $100
PuerHomme Balenciaga Oversized Bomber Jacket Size S – 26.5x28 - $95
Balenciaga NASA Jacket (Unbranded tag) Size M – 23x29 - $100 https://imgur.com/a/UWTxABv?s=sms
Pants: https://imgur.com/a/UQ8a8lK?s=sms
Balenciaga Light Blue Lost Tape Flares Hand Distressed Size XS – 16x30 - $60
BDSJMade ERD Bootcuts FIRST BATCH Size 28 – 14.5x32 - $100
Diesel Type D Black Denim Wide Fit Size S – 15x29 - $65
Balenciaga Dark Blue Lost Tape Flares Size XS – 16x33 - $60
Balenciaga Dark Gray Lost Tape Flares Size XXS – 15.5x32 - $55
Balenciaga Ten Pocket Cargo Size L – 15x28 - $50
Balenciaga Zip Off Cargo Pants SOLD OUT Size 44 – 15x31.5 - $70
Balenciaga Wide Blue Denim Amazing Fit Size XS – 15x28 - $60
Vuja De Gray Wide Denim Size S – 15.5x30 - $50
Raf Simmons Wide Denim EXTREMELY RARE Size 1 – 17x25.5 - $70
Kiko Kostadinov Darted Trousers Size L – 15x32 - $50
Yohji Wide Trousers (The prototypical Yohji pants!) Size S – Adjustable x 22 - $80
Rick Owens Motorcycle Knee Bauhaus Trouser Size 50 – 14x27.5 - $45
Balenciaga Light Blue Skater Denim Size S – 16x26 - $50
CMMAWEAR Lotus Work Pants SOLD OUT Size S – 15x28.5 - $60
Balenciaga Kick Cargo Size XS – 15x26 - $50
Sixi Rick Owens Bauhaus Cargo Size 50 - 15x25 - $60
Tops: https://imgur.com/a/02PirKT?s=sms
ERD Frozen Beauties Flannel Size M – 20x30 - $55
Balenciaga Gamer Shirt Size M – 26x29 - $50
Undercover Vampire Shirt Damaged Tag (Extremely Rare, Sold Out) Size 1 - $85
Balenciaga Sporty B Shrunken Tee Size M – 18x23 - $35
Kappler Balenciaga Free Styling Tips Tee Size S – 23x29 - $50
Undercover Cindy Sherman Cropped Denim Shirt EXTREMELY RARE Size 3 - 23x24.5 - $80
MrLee Balenciaga Shrunken Metal Tee Size M – 16x21 - $45
Kappler Prada Emblem Tank Size S – 17x25.5 - $50
Balenciaga Tromp Loeil Shirt RARE Size 3 – 25x25 - $40
2024.05.16 02:24 Moonchildbeast Jimmy’s law degree
I know it’s been said a million ways before but I’m rewatching the episode where Jimmy passes the bar. He shows Chuck his letter that he passed, and then tells him what he had to go through to get that degree. Working full time plus correspondence school. People laugh at it but WTF, not everyone can just take years off from real life to get a law degree. So that took like 10 years or so, probably, plus it took 3 tries to pass the exam. What the HELLLLLLLL makes Chuck think that Jimmy was taking any kind of short cut or easy way out? I mean I know all about Chuck and what a jealous petty prick he was, and how generally right he always was about Jimmy’s character, but on rewatch it just hit me how damn hard Jimmy worked for that degree. Damn.
submitted by Moonchildbeast to betterCallSaul [link] [comments]
2024.05.16 00:36 5h0rgunn The Confused Envoy (1551 – 1552) The Xin-Mei Wars Ch. 3.3
[First] [Prev] [Next]
The Treasure Fleet of 1551 arrived in the last week of July that year. One ship was particularly large, well-armed, and well-decorated with Ming imperial insignia. Onboard was a man named Cui Hejing, an envoy on a mission given to him directly by the Jiajing Emperor (though not in person, given how reclusive the emperor was). Cui was politically unconnected to either Yan Song or Xu Jie, meaning that he was, theoretically, neutral in the rivalry between them, and this is why he was chosen for this mission. His orders were clear: these 'Meixigou People' would have to be brought into China's orbit. During its heyday, the Chinese overseas empire had included tributaries from all over the western Pacific and the Indian Ocean too. Things had deteriorated since then, but the Ming's self-confidence had not. Surely, after the thrashing they received at Acapulco, Meixigou would be all too happy to send a tributary embassy to Beijing to talk things out and make a deal that would allow for the unimpeded flow of silver into China (and other goods as well: Yan Song was fond of a good cup of hot cocoa in the morning).
Any deal made with the Meixigou People would need to have the support of both Wei Chengjia and Bai Guguan in order for it to hold. It didn't please the emperor to have North Province and South Province sponsoring pirates to raid each other's shipping. Actually, to be honest, the emperor didn't care as long as he got the full tribute from both provinces every year—but currently that wasn't happening.
The first order of business, then, was to meet with the two governors.
Dongguang was the eastern terminus for the Treasure Fleet in those days, so Cui met first with Bai in Dongguang, then with Wei in Ningbo. Finally, the three met in Dongguang and hashed out what they could agree to. Without the NSS under his control, Bai Guguan had turned to piracy once again to obtain the silver he needed, and was still falling well short of what he owed the emperor (This was called the Third Silver War, a conflict on the high seas that began in 1550 with Wei's reinstatement). That would have to stop, Cui told him. Bai was happy to cease sponsoring pirates if Cui could convince the Meixigou People to let DSS members purchase silver. Cui asked Wei why he hadn't done more to convince the Meixigou People to remain peaceable, to which Wei responded by pointing out that Bai had sent a military expedition to wreck a Meixigou port. Bai countered with the accusation that Wei started the Silver Wars by attacking the Cabrillo Expedition under false flags, which Wei denied.
Cui Hejing sighed.
Negotiations carried on for several days in the first week of August, with Wei and Bai frequently arguing while Cui played the peacemaker. Wei Chengjia agreed to support South Province's right to trade with Meixigou in exchange for a concession near and dear to Bai Guguan's economic policy.
In 1450, the Treasure Fleet had officially been established as an annual convoy sailing between Xinguo and China, sanctioned by the imperial government and given a naval escort. The Jingtai Emperor who ruled China at the time set the fleet's terminus at Dongguang in order to hurt Wei Shuifu, whom the emperor deemed to be too powerful already. As the discoverer of Xinguo and the biggest proponent of settling the New World, Wei Shuifu had immense influence in the early colonisation period. Having the Treasure Fleet stop in Dongguang was of profound importance for the city's economy. Establishments such as hotels and pubs thrived on the business brought by the Fleet, farmers and fishermen sold their products to restock the Fleet for the return trip, and even Ningbo had to come to Dongguang to deliver its annual tribute to the Fleet, while NSS merchants had to come to purchase Asian wares for resale in Xinguo. All this gave Dongguang a significant edge over its rival. Over the years, the fleet had occasionally stopped in Ningbo instead, when emperors felt they needed to send a message to Dongguang, but they always switched it back to Dongguang within a few years. In 1551, however, Wei Chengjia's requirement for his support of a deal with Meixigou was that Ningbo be set as the permanent terminus for the Treasure Fleet. Bai Guguan agreed to this, albeit begrudgingly. Both men shook hands and signed a paper agreeing to these terms. Two copies were made of the paper, one of which was kept by each governor while Cui Hejing kept the original. No chances were to be taken on either man reneging on his side of the deal.
The hard part was done. Now it was time to deliver a message to the foreigners requiring their presence in Beijing at the earliest possible time.
Cui Hejing sailed his ship down to Acapulco, arriving on August 18th, 1551. Fortunately for him, Chinese ships arriving at Acapulco were an everyday occurrence so soon after the Treasure Fleet's arrival. Pirates were on a campaign of plunder all around Acapulco and the Spaniards still couldn't tell the difference between a North Province freighter, a South Province freighter, and a Wokou pirate ship. Sometimes, pirates pretended to be merchants until they got close, then opened fire. This made the Spaniards rather trigger happy for most of the year, wary as they were of ambushes. With so many North Province merchantmen showing up in the preceding week, however, Cui made it into the harbour without difficulty. The harbour was now overlooked by Fuerte de Oñate, a newly-constructed star fort on the west side of the bay named for Cristobal de Oñate himself. Colloquially, it was called Fuerte del Vasco, or Fort of the Basque, in reference to Oñate's heritage. In 1551, the fort was rather bare-bones and parts of it were still under construction, but eventually it would be expanded into a sprawling defensive network, making Acapulco the most heavily fortified city on the Pacific coast of Spanish America. It was home to a permanent garrison of 1,000 men and 8 warships, who were constantly on the lookout for pirates. Bai Guguan's privateers often ambushed ships exiting the bay or even sneaked into the port at night for a little moonlit robbery. The Spaniards had already picked up the word 'Wokou' from their North Province trading parters as 'Oacao,' which they applied indiscriminately to all pirates or privateers originating from north of Mexico and operating in the Pacific Ocean. In later centuries, 'Oacao' would even be applied to British, Portuguese, and Russian privateers in the Pacific.
Upon Cui Hejing's arrival, he introduced himself and his mission to the mayor of Acapulco. This was conveyed to Mexico City, where it was received by Viceroy Antonio de Mendoza. Mendoza invited Cui to the capital. Upon arrival, Cui Hejing delivered a letter inviting Meixigou to send a tributary embassy to Beijing so that they could establish diplomatic ties with the Ming Dynasty. This was standard Ming practice. No one could have diplomatic ties with China without bringing tribute for the emperor. The emperor would respond to the tribute with a gift of his own, although this part doesn't seem to have been communicated clearly enough.
The viceroy, however, didn't have the power to authorise such a mission on his own, so he penned a letter to Madrid and sent it, along with Cui's invitation (together with a Spanish translation), to Spain. Two months was the minimum time in which to expect a reply, but three was more realistic.
Cui Hejing was incensed upon being told he'd have to wait for three months, give or take. He decried this as an outrage—how dare a mere king like the ruler of Meixigou make the emperor's envoy sit and wait? Mendoza reminded Cui that he, Mendoza, was just a viceroy, and that he needed authorisation from Madrid to get such a thing done. Then he told Cui again to settle in and wait. Cui was given comfortable lodgings, but simply couldn't contain his anger at being forced to wait. Every day, he sent complaints to the viceroy's office along with requests to see the king of Meixigou.
In truth, Mendoza had no patience for Cui Hejing's antics. He was preoccuppied with making a choice he'd been given by Emperor Karl V of the Holy Roman Empire, who was also King Carlos I of Spain. Since the viceroy of Peru had been killed by rebels in 1546, Peru needed a new one, a position which had been offered to Mendoza. In fact, a week after Cui's arrival on the Pacific coast, a man from Spain arrived on the Atlantic coast with orders to take up whichever viceregal position Mendoza turned down.
There were plenty of other, more pressing matters on Mendoza's plate as well. The Chichimec War was still blazing, cutting into New Spain's potential silver output. The war was so expensive New Spain kept having to beg Madrid for money to pay for it. In addition, conquistadors were still pushing the frontiers ever northward and southward, Maya city-states on the Yucatan peninsula were giving them trouble, and there was the matter of the New Laws. When a conquistador conquered a new area, he effectively installed himself as feudal lord of that area. Madrid gave a stamp of approval to this practice by creating the encomienda system, which converted the indigenous population of the area into the conquistador's serfs. Madrid dislike the practice, however. Unlike China, Spain took an active role in colonial administration and was loathe to allow conquistadors to establish hereditary control of large swathes of the New World. Therefore, they'd introduced a series of laws in the 1540s in the hopes of curbing the power of the encomenderos. Enforcement of these laws in Peru led to the viceroy being killed. In New Spain, Antonio de Mendoza adopted a policy which he described thusly: “I obey, but I do not comply.” In other words, he applied the New Laws very carefully and very selectively, so as to avoid the fate of Peru's viceroy.
All in all, Cui Hejing had come at a bad time. Furthermore, he seems to have been profoundly confused by the situation. As discussed previously, 'Spain' was referred to by the Xinguans as 'Meixigou', or some variation thereof. This was taken from 'Mexica,' which was the Aztecs' name for themselves. Xinguans saw the Spaniards as being akin to a new dynasty ruling the same land that'd long been one of their prime sources of silver. The land was still Meixigou, and its people were still Meixigou People, regardless of who was ruling there. Thus, officials back in China were given the impression that 'Meixigou' was a kingdom existing in the New World presided over by a viceroy, whom they interpreted as the equivalent of a prime minister. Meixigou's king was, presumably, residing in Mexico City, or in a country house somewhere nearby. They had no concept of Meixigou's connection to Spain—not that they would've known what Spain was anyway. Despite an overwhelming air of superiority over all others, China has traditionally been a rather insular place that prefers to deal with its own matters and doesn't pay a lot of attention to things far from its own borders. Europe was very far away indeed, so China had little idea of the political geography of the continent. Europeans were likewise rather ignorant about Asia in the mid-16th century.
Hence Cui Hejing's angst. He seems to have been under the impression that Mendoza was making up a story about a capital city (Madrid) on the other side of another ocean purely to snub to Cui. There was no reason in Cui's eyes why he shouldn't be allowed to see the king of Meixigou, and it was making him madder by the day. Mendoza wasn't helping things either. He was busy with other matters and anyway, he was pretty confident Karl V wasn't about to send tribute on demand to another emperor on the other side of the globe (Mendoza also doesn't seem to have caught the part where the Jiajing Emperor would reciprocate the tribute with a gift of his own—or perhaps he simply didn't care).
On August 29th, Cui Hejing announced he wasn't going to wait any longer. He told his hosts that they'd be sorry they snubbed an envoy of the emperor, then he packed his bags, headed back to Acapulco, and set sail for Xinguo. Mendoza made no attempt to hinder his departure.
Upon his return to Xinguo, Cui Hejing considered what he'd done. Going back to China without accomplishing anything was out of the question. He didn't want to end up being banished to the western frontier like Lin Weishi and Peng Chao'an. That would end his career, or at best would be a long hiatus before he might be allowed to return. Therefore, Cui resolved to get at least half of his mission completed.
To that end, he met with Wei and Bai again and informed them about what'd happened in Acapulco. However, the fact of Meixigou's non-compliance didn't have to be a problem. Circumvention of Meixigou's ban on DSS merchants coming to Acapulco wouldn't be hard. All they needed was for NSS merchants to purchase twice as much silver as they needed and sell the excess to the DSS. That way, South Province could still get the silver it needed. Wei agreed readily, but he still wanted the Treasure Fleet to switch its destination to Ningbo. Bai took a day to mull it over before finally agreeing. There was one condition, however. Wei would purchase silver from the NSS merchants out of his own pocket and then sell it to Bai at cost. This would mean Bai wouldn't have to pay an exorbitant mark-up for the silver he needed to pay the tribute. Wei agreed. Once again, three sets of the agreement were written out and signed by both governors. It might as well have been a treaty between foreign nations.
Cui Hejing returned to China with the Treasure Fleet in July 1552, with the agreement between the two governors in hand. Although it wasn't strictly necessary for him to wait to return with the Fleet, he thought it best to present the emperor with news of his trip at the same time as he received full tribute from both provinces, including the back-tribute South Province owed from 1551 and '50. Yan Song was incensed at Cui Hejing's account of how he was treated in Mexico, as was the Jiajing Emperor when Yan relayed the story to him. They were also upset at Cui Hejing for his reckless initiative in coming up with a solution all on his own. That being said, the Jiajing Emperor was now getting what he wanted. Needless to say, tribute wasn't coming from Meixigou. However, Bai Guguan had agreed to stop sponsoring pirates, which put an end to the Third Silver War (1550 – 1552), and South Province was now able to meet its tribute obligations. This was... an acceptable outcome.
Far from the banishment he'd been fearing, Cui Hejing was rewarded with a position as permanent commissioner to Xinguo. A commissioner was a man who was given the power to represent the emperor in order to accomplish a specific mission. Typically, any such commission was temporary, but in Cui's case it was a permanent posting. He would travel to Xinguo every year to relay the emperor's will to the governors and collect their reports on happenings in the colonies before returning to China to hand these in to the emperor (or at least, to the senior grand secretary). True to his agreement with Wei Chengjia, Cui Hejing managed to convince Yan Song to divert the Treasure Fleet to Ningbo. It took some persuasion, but it wasn't too hard since Yan Song viewed Bai Guguan as an ally of his arch-rival Xu Jie ever since Lin Weishi's expedition.
[Next]
submitted by 5h0rgunn to HighEffortAltHistory [link] [comments]
The Treasure Fleet of 1551 arrived in the last week of July that year. One ship was particularly large, well-armed, and well-decorated with Ming imperial insignia. Onboard was a man named Cui Hejing, an envoy on a mission given to him directly by the Jiajing Emperor (though not in person, given how reclusive the emperor was). Cui was politically unconnected to either Yan Song or Xu Jie, meaning that he was, theoretically, neutral in the rivalry between them, and this is why he was chosen for this mission. His orders were clear: these 'Meixigou People' would have to be brought into China's orbit. During its heyday, the Chinese overseas empire had included tributaries from all over the western Pacific and the Indian Ocean too. Things had deteriorated since then, but the Ming's self-confidence had not. Surely, after the thrashing they received at Acapulco, Meixigou would be all too happy to send a tributary embassy to Beijing to talk things out and make a deal that would allow for the unimpeded flow of silver into China (and other goods as well: Yan Song was fond of a good cup of hot cocoa in the morning).
Any deal made with the Meixigou People would need to have the support of both Wei Chengjia and Bai Guguan in order for it to hold. It didn't please the emperor to have North Province and South Province sponsoring pirates to raid each other's shipping. Actually, to be honest, the emperor didn't care as long as he got the full tribute from both provinces every year—but currently that wasn't happening.
The first order of business, then, was to meet with the two governors.
Dongguang was the eastern terminus for the Treasure Fleet in those days, so Cui met first with Bai in Dongguang, then with Wei in Ningbo. Finally, the three met in Dongguang and hashed out what they could agree to. Without the NSS under his control, Bai Guguan had turned to piracy once again to obtain the silver he needed, and was still falling well short of what he owed the emperor (This was called the Third Silver War, a conflict on the high seas that began in 1550 with Wei's reinstatement). That would have to stop, Cui told him. Bai was happy to cease sponsoring pirates if Cui could convince the Meixigou People to let DSS members purchase silver. Cui asked Wei why he hadn't done more to convince the Meixigou People to remain peaceable, to which Wei responded by pointing out that Bai had sent a military expedition to wreck a Meixigou port. Bai countered with the accusation that Wei started the Silver Wars by attacking the Cabrillo Expedition under false flags, which Wei denied.
Cui Hejing sighed.
Negotiations carried on for several days in the first week of August, with Wei and Bai frequently arguing while Cui played the peacemaker. Wei Chengjia agreed to support South Province's right to trade with Meixigou in exchange for a concession near and dear to Bai Guguan's economic policy.
In 1450, the Treasure Fleet had officially been established as an annual convoy sailing between Xinguo and China, sanctioned by the imperial government and given a naval escort. The Jingtai Emperor who ruled China at the time set the fleet's terminus at Dongguang in order to hurt Wei Shuifu, whom the emperor deemed to be too powerful already. As the discoverer of Xinguo and the biggest proponent of settling the New World, Wei Shuifu had immense influence in the early colonisation period. Having the Treasure Fleet stop in Dongguang was of profound importance for the city's economy. Establishments such as hotels and pubs thrived on the business brought by the Fleet, farmers and fishermen sold their products to restock the Fleet for the return trip, and even Ningbo had to come to Dongguang to deliver its annual tribute to the Fleet, while NSS merchants had to come to purchase Asian wares for resale in Xinguo. All this gave Dongguang a significant edge over its rival. Over the years, the fleet had occasionally stopped in Ningbo instead, when emperors felt they needed to send a message to Dongguang, but they always switched it back to Dongguang within a few years. In 1551, however, Wei Chengjia's requirement for his support of a deal with Meixigou was that Ningbo be set as the permanent terminus for the Treasure Fleet. Bai Guguan agreed to this, albeit begrudgingly. Both men shook hands and signed a paper agreeing to these terms. Two copies were made of the paper, one of which was kept by each governor while Cui Hejing kept the original. No chances were to be taken on either man reneging on his side of the deal.
The hard part was done. Now it was time to deliver a message to the foreigners requiring their presence in Beijing at the earliest possible time.
Cui Hejing sailed his ship down to Acapulco, arriving on August 18th, 1551. Fortunately for him, Chinese ships arriving at Acapulco were an everyday occurrence so soon after the Treasure Fleet's arrival. Pirates were on a campaign of plunder all around Acapulco and the Spaniards still couldn't tell the difference between a North Province freighter, a South Province freighter, and a Wokou pirate ship. Sometimes, pirates pretended to be merchants until they got close, then opened fire. This made the Spaniards rather trigger happy for most of the year, wary as they were of ambushes. With so many North Province merchantmen showing up in the preceding week, however, Cui made it into the harbour without difficulty. The harbour was now overlooked by Fuerte de Oñate, a newly-constructed star fort on the west side of the bay named for Cristobal de Oñate himself. Colloquially, it was called Fuerte del Vasco, or Fort of the Basque, in reference to Oñate's heritage. In 1551, the fort was rather bare-bones and parts of it were still under construction, but eventually it would be expanded into a sprawling defensive network, making Acapulco the most heavily fortified city on the Pacific coast of Spanish America. It was home to a permanent garrison of 1,000 men and 8 warships, who were constantly on the lookout for pirates. Bai Guguan's privateers often ambushed ships exiting the bay or even sneaked into the port at night for a little moonlit robbery. The Spaniards had already picked up the word 'Wokou' from their North Province trading parters as 'Oacao,' which they applied indiscriminately to all pirates or privateers originating from north of Mexico and operating in the Pacific Ocean. In later centuries, 'Oacao' would even be applied to British, Portuguese, and Russian privateers in the Pacific.
Upon Cui Hejing's arrival, he introduced himself and his mission to the mayor of Acapulco. This was conveyed to Mexico City, where it was received by Viceroy Antonio de Mendoza. Mendoza invited Cui to the capital. Upon arrival, Cui Hejing delivered a letter inviting Meixigou to send a tributary embassy to Beijing so that they could establish diplomatic ties with the Ming Dynasty. This was standard Ming practice. No one could have diplomatic ties with China without bringing tribute for the emperor. The emperor would respond to the tribute with a gift of his own, although this part doesn't seem to have been communicated clearly enough.
The viceroy, however, didn't have the power to authorise such a mission on his own, so he penned a letter to Madrid and sent it, along with Cui's invitation (together with a Spanish translation), to Spain. Two months was the minimum time in which to expect a reply, but three was more realistic.
Cui Hejing was incensed upon being told he'd have to wait for three months, give or take. He decried this as an outrage—how dare a mere king like the ruler of Meixigou make the emperor's envoy sit and wait? Mendoza reminded Cui that he, Mendoza, was just a viceroy, and that he needed authorisation from Madrid to get such a thing done. Then he told Cui again to settle in and wait. Cui was given comfortable lodgings, but simply couldn't contain his anger at being forced to wait. Every day, he sent complaints to the viceroy's office along with requests to see the king of Meixigou.
In truth, Mendoza had no patience for Cui Hejing's antics. He was preoccuppied with making a choice he'd been given by Emperor Karl V of the Holy Roman Empire, who was also King Carlos I of Spain. Since the viceroy of Peru had been killed by rebels in 1546, Peru needed a new one, a position which had been offered to Mendoza. In fact, a week after Cui's arrival on the Pacific coast, a man from Spain arrived on the Atlantic coast with orders to take up whichever viceregal position Mendoza turned down.
There were plenty of other, more pressing matters on Mendoza's plate as well. The Chichimec War was still blazing, cutting into New Spain's potential silver output. The war was so expensive New Spain kept having to beg Madrid for money to pay for it. In addition, conquistadors were still pushing the frontiers ever northward and southward, Maya city-states on the Yucatan peninsula were giving them trouble, and there was the matter of the New Laws. When a conquistador conquered a new area, he effectively installed himself as feudal lord of that area. Madrid gave a stamp of approval to this practice by creating the encomienda system, which converted the indigenous population of the area into the conquistador's serfs. Madrid dislike the practice, however. Unlike China, Spain took an active role in colonial administration and was loathe to allow conquistadors to establish hereditary control of large swathes of the New World. Therefore, they'd introduced a series of laws in the 1540s in the hopes of curbing the power of the encomenderos. Enforcement of these laws in Peru led to the viceroy being killed. In New Spain, Antonio de Mendoza adopted a policy which he described thusly: “I obey, but I do not comply.” In other words, he applied the New Laws very carefully and very selectively, so as to avoid the fate of Peru's viceroy.
All in all, Cui Hejing had come at a bad time. Furthermore, he seems to have been profoundly confused by the situation. As discussed previously, 'Spain' was referred to by the Xinguans as 'Meixigou', or some variation thereof. This was taken from 'Mexica,' which was the Aztecs' name for themselves. Xinguans saw the Spaniards as being akin to a new dynasty ruling the same land that'd long been one of their prime sources of silver. The land was still Meixigou, and its people were still Meixigou People, regardless of who was ruling there. Thus, officials back in China were given the impression that 'Meixigou' was a kingdom existing in the New World presided over by a viceroy, whom they interpreted as the equivalent of a prime minister. Meixigou's king was, presumably, residing in Mexico City, or in a country house somewhere nearby. They had no concept of Meixigou's connection to Spain—not that they would've known what Spain was anyway. Despite an overwhelming air of superiority over all others, China has traditionally been a rather insular place that prefers to deal with its own matters and doesn't pay a lot of attention to things far from its own borders. Europe was very far away indeed, so China had little idea of the political geography of the continent. Europeans were likewise rather ignorant about Asia in the mid-16th century.
Hence Cui Hejing's angst. He seems to have been under the impression that Mendoza was making up a story about a capital city (Madrid) on the other side of another ocean purely to snub to Cui. There was no reason in Cui's eyes why he shouldn't be allowed to see the king of Meixigou, and it was making him madder by the day. Mendoza wasn't helping things either. He was busy with other matters and anyway, he was pretty confident Karl V wasn't about to send tribute on demand to another emperor on the other side of the globe (Mendoza also doesn't seem to have caught the part where the Jiajing Emperor would reciprocate the tribute with a gift of his own—or perhaps he simply didn't care).
On August 29th, Cui Hejing announced he wasn't going to wait any longer. He told his hosts that they'd be sorry they snubbed an envoy of the emperor, then he packed his bags, headed back to Acapulco, and set sail for Xinguo. Mendoza made no attempt to hinder his departure.
Upon his return to Xinguo, Cui Hejing considered what he'd done. Going back to China without accomplishing anything was out of the question. He didn't want to end up being banished to the western frontier like Lin Weishi and Peng Chao'an. That would end his career, or at best would be a long hiatus before he might be allowed to return. Therefore, Cui resolved to get at least half of his mission completed.
To that end, he met with Wei and Bai again and informed them about what'd happened in Acapulco. However, the fact of Meixigou's non-compliance didn't have to be a problem. Circumvention of Meixigou's ban on DSS merchants coming to Acapulco wouldn't be hard. All they needed was for NSS merchants to purchase twice as much silver as they needed and sell the excess to the DSS. That way, South Province could still get the silver it needed. Wei agreed readily, but he still wanted the Treasure Fleet to switch its destination to Ningbo. Bai took a day to mull it over before finally agreeing. There was one condition, however. Wei would purchase silver from the NSS merchants out of his own pocket and then sell it to Bai at cost. This would mean Bai wouldn't have to pay an exorbitant mark-up for the silver he needed to pay the tribute. Wei agreed. Once again, three sets of the agreement were written out and signed by both governors. It might as well have been a treaty between foreign nations.
Cui Hejing returned to China with the Treasure Fleet in July 1552, with the agreement between the two governors in hand. Although it wasn't strictly necessary for him to wait to return with the Fleet, he thought it best to present the emperor with news of his trip at the same time as he received full tribute from both provinces, including the back-tribute South Province owed from 1551 and '50. Yan Song was incensed at Cui Hejing's account of how he was treated in Mexico, as was the Jiajing Emperor when Yan relayed the story to him. They were also upset at Cui Hejing for his reckless initiative in coming up with a solution all on his own. That being said, the Jiajing Emperor was now getting what he wanted. Needless to say, tribute wasn't coming from Meixigou. However, Bai Guguan had agreed to stop sponsoring pirates, which put an end to the Third Silver War (1550 – 1552), and South Province was now able to meet its tribute obligations. This was... an acceptable outcome.
Far from the banishment he'd been fearing, Cui Hejing was rewarded with a position as permanent commissioner to Xinguo. A commissioner was a man who was given the power to represent the emperor in order to accomplish a specific mission. Typically, any such commission was temporary, but in Cui's case it was a permanent posting. He would travel to Xinguo every year to relay the emperor's will to the governors and collect their reports on happenings in the colonies before returning to China to hand these in to the emperor (or at least, to the senior grand secretary). True to his agreement with Wei Chengjia, Cui Hejing managed to convince Yan Song to divert the Treasure Fleet to Ningbo. It took some persuasion, but it wasn't too hard since Yan Song viewed Bai Guguan as an ally of his arch-rival Xu Jie ever since Lin Weishi's expedition.
[Next]
2024.05.16 00:16 Necrolancer96 Summoning Kobolds At Midnight: A Tale of Suburbia & Sorcery. 200
Chapter CC
Trout's Landing.
Ruby stretched with a contented sigh. She turned her head over to where Jeb slept beside her. Or where he was when she fell asleep. She sat up and looked around the dark underground room but he wasn't here either.
"Wonder where he went."
Oh well, she thought as she stretched a few stiff muscles before hopping up and collecting their eggs. As nice as it was to sleep with them, they needed more consistent warmth. So she sat them to the side, bundled up in the still warm blanket, and departed to secure a source of fire for their eggs.
Which wasn't all that hard, she realized as her dark vision faded as the blue glow from the torches up ahead illuminated the main gathering area for the burrows. She smiled as she saw the tribe return to something familiar that she missed seeing for a while.
Several tunnels branched off towards the other cabins and already kobolds came and went from them as they began to migrate away from the chill air above for the, still cool but more comfortable, air below. As they did she could see the collections they brought back and forth. Animals, alive and dressed, were being moved down here and out of the elements for better care. As well as an easier time keeping the ever gluttonous salamanders from sneaking another meal. Scraps and salvage collected from around the lodge or while out exploring being brought down and being traded or even used to furnish the space.
Bits of wood with simple carvings were lodged into the dirt along side scraps of metal or rock with soot, mud, or crushed flower pigment to paint symbols or words on them for decoration or directions. While it wasn't the bustling forum that they once had, it gladdened her to see her tribe returning to normalcy once again.
She shook away the distracting thoughts and set her sights on some scrap of wood nearby. She darted over to the vendor, deftly avoiding a section of the ground being dug up as the kobolds dug ever deeper as they sought to expand their burrows ever more. It was in their nature to dig and burrow. While they no longer had a draconic master to excavate massive caverns and tunnels for, she wouldn't be surprised if kobold tunnels ended up expanding far past the border of the lodge itself and going far into the wild where they knew nothing about save for what little Jeb has told them.
Eventually, even this gathering area will be abandoned as the tribe moved deeper down, putting as much dirt and rock between them and whatever threats laid above. The only thing that would remain would be an assortment of traps to keep any invaders wary of going deeper than the kobolds wanted. Even then, many of the tunnels that would lead deeper would be dead-ends meant to slow or hinder any invader. Some would even be traps in and of themselves, collapsing the "tunnel" on top of even the most cautious of invader or even just blocking their escape and leaving them to die before the kobolds eventually dug out their remains and collected their gear with no trouble.
She stood before the assortment of wood and looked over the scrap. Some of it was processed lumber that looked to be from the buildings above, most was collected bits of wood from the forest though. Which was fine, she didn't need anything too big. No bartering took place. She was a leader of the tribe and it was assumed whatever she wanted was for the good of the tribe.
Even starting a warming fire for her eggs was good enough for the tribe to skip bartering and simply give her what she needed. So she collected enough wood for a nice fire and returned to her home. She sorted it into the indent in the ground that Jeb had placed their eggs in before. It would be a good place to start a heating fire for them, she thought as she finished arranging them.
She left and collected some tinder made of dried moss and grass before looking around for some stone or flint to start the fire with. But no such luck. All the stone was deeply imbedded in the dirt or was too large. She once more returned to the gathering area in search of fire. Which she quickly found in the form of the glowing blue fire that Jeb had created for the kobolds.
She shuffled a little as she stared at the dancing flame. She knew Jeb didn't like the idea of the kobolds using the blue fire. He probably wouldn't like the idea of heating their eggs with it either. She should be worried as well, she thought. But she wasn't. Staring at the flame reminded her of the vision that The Crone showed her. Of her and Jeb within a ring of flaming blue orbs. They were happy. The tribe was happy.
"He'll understand." She said as she darted and collected a piece of wood to transfer a spark from a nearby torch.
Ember in hand, she rushed back to her home. She gently eased the flame towards the bundle of wood. She yipped in shock when the flame leapt from her temporary torch and engulfed the pile! Their room burst into dancing shadows as the flames danced from their new home. So pretty, she thought as she stared at the fire. She had seen it when she would come out of their room in the old building for a break. But it seemed so mesmerizing now that it was right in front of her.
She widened the indent in the ground a little so that the eggs could receive the warmth from the fire without being too close. They might be mildly resistant to fire, but not enough to throw their eggs in a fire! Then again, she thought with worry as she held her claw out at the fire. The warmth from it isn't as strong as a normal fire it seemed. Like it was contained.
She clicked her claws in worry. She didn't want to push them too close, but they wouldn't get enough heat if they remained where they were. It would only get worse as it got colder and the cold seeped into the ground. Maybe just a little closer, she thought as she nudged the eggs closer to the fire.
The flames sputtered at the movement of air, but nothing more. She held out her claw to gauge the temperature once again. But it still wasn't enough, she thought as she clicked her claws against a nearby stone in thought. She cast a glance towards the tunnel. She could maybe see if one of the others have something to make a proper fire, she thought.
She put a claw on the eggs.
"No. That'll take too long."
She looked worryingly at the tunnel as if Jeb would appear and lambast her for even thinking what she was. She held her breath and pushed the eggs forwards. Then more. Then even more. The flames sputtered and danced as the eggs were pushed closer and closer. She could only just feel the heat as she did so. Why did the fire seem so weak, she thought as she pushed the eggs right up beside the bundle of burning wood.
Yet the fire seemed to move around the eggs, like they were doing their best to avoid touching them. Even the heat from the fire seemed to be avoiding them! Ruby growled in frustration and pushed the eggs right into the fire!
"Can you just keep them warm?!"
The fire stilled and froze as the eggs were pushed into it. As if it didn't know what to do. Then the flame roared to life once again. The balefire caressed the onyx shells as it seemed to dance across the smooth black surface of the shells. As if a barrier broke, the heat from the flame radiated outwards now. Ruby could now feel the warmth from the fire where seconds ago she felt nothing.
Ruby blinked at the eldritch flame and moved her claw to touch her eggs. She instinctively pulled back as a tongue of balefire arced in her direction. She whined in worry at possibly making a terrible mistake. She held her breath and once more reached out to caress her eggs. She bit her tongue and shut her eyes when the fire arced towards her once more.
But she didn't feel pain. No burning sensation one would get when normally sticking an appendage into a roaring fire. Instead she felt a comforting warmth. Like she felt when close to Jeb as they slept together. She cracked open an eye and found the baleful flame caressing her claw. She experimented a little by pulling her claw back, feeling as the flame seemed to latch on like it didn't want her to leave, before snapping back to its "body". She pushed her claw into the fire, further this time, all the way up to her elbow. The fire latched onto her once again and flooded her with a comforting warmth that shot straight to her core!
She turned her claw upwards and pulled back once more. She watched as the flame held on as she did so, once more refusing to leave her scales. She watched as the flame snapped once again, but this time, it broke! Instead of snapping back towards its body, she now held a burning ball of balefire in her claw!
She couldn't do magic. There were few of the tribe that could before they fled to this world. The Chief was the last among them that had any ability to harness it. Yet here she was, holding a magical fire within her claw! She watched as the flame danced and twisted in her grasp. She sucked in a breath when she watched it start to diffuse INTO her scales! The flame lessened and lessened as if it were dying, but instead the fire seeped between the cracks of her scales. She could feel it racing through her body, flooding it once more with a wave of comforting warmth.
"Den Mother?" A voice asked from the tunnel nearby.
Ruby yelped in surprise and turned towards the voice. She saw the Chief standing there watching her with a curious and amazed expression on his snout.
"Having fun?"
"Chief!? I was-"
"Playing with fire?" The Chief asked playfully as he stared at the blue fire.
She shuffled nervously as he did so. Eventually he chuckled and she began to relax.
"It's alright Den Mother. You're not the only one that Master Jeb's flame as entranced among the tribe."
"Why do you think it acts so different from normal fire?" She asked.
The Chief shrugged.
"Who knows. Perhaps it is how magic works in this world. Perhaps it is something on Master Jeb's part. Perhaps it is because our former- Kortaza, was the Keeper of Flame."
"But we never had much protection from fire before. And not any way to manipulate it." Ruby said.
The Chief sighed.
"True. I truly do not know why it is so different than normal fire. Fire is alive, yes. But this one seems almost..."
"Living?" Ruby suggested.
"Yes. Like it has a mind of its own. Though I doubt that much, perhaps it merely follows the will of Master Jeb, knowingly or not on his part." The Chief continued as he walked closer and sat down beside Ruby and watched the eggs glimmer and shine within the fire where they remained quiet for some peaceful moments.
The Chief then perked up.
"Oh! Master Jeb returned!"
"He did?! Where is he?" Ruby asked and looked around expecting to see him coming down the tunnel.
"Well, he did return. Rushed around and collected an assortment of food, and then he vanished away again. Something about a trade?" The Chief explained a little unsure.
She frowned, wonder what he was trading, she thought. Though, with the eggs now taken care of, and Jeb away for a moment. Perhaps now was the time she could see about doing something special for him. She turned to the Chief, he was more knowledgeable when it came to humans and their customs.
"Chief?" She asked.
"Yes? What is it?" He asked at the tone of her voice.
"What do you know of this world's humans?"
"Oh? What would you like to know?" He asked a little excited in being able to use his collected knowledge.
"What do humans do with those they care about?" She asked a little uncertainly.
The Chief hummed in thought and tapped his claws.
"It depends. Humans are as diverse in this world as ours. Many customs I've read about belong to different groups."
"What about the tribe that Jeb belongs to?"
The Chief hummed once more in thought and got up before darting away while calling back.
"I will check! I'm sure I have something!"
While she waited, she continued to play with fire and tend to her eggs. Since they were in the flame, they didn't need quite so studious attention as they did before. She could probably just leave them and go tend to her normal duties and not have to worry about them anymore.
Who was she fooling, she thought. Even if there was a way to hatch and tend to the eggs completely without her, she'd still want to look after them. She thought she heard Jeb mentioning something about an "electrical egg incubator" once upon a time. Whatever that was.
The Chief returned, huffing from being out of breath and holding a thickly bound tome with pages of different sizes and colors poking out of the patched bindings. He placed the heavy tome on the ground with a huff.
"This is my collection of this world's customs and knowledge. If there is something that will assist you it will be in here somewhere!"
Ruby oohed and awed as the Chief flipped open the tome and leafed through page after page of information. Some were pages from magazines, others were snippets and clippings from books, there was a few pages that contained pressed cuttings of local flora as well as a collection of small animal bones among the bindings.
They stopped on a page that read MODERN COURTING FOR THE MODERN WOMAN in bold letters on a page that felt smooth to the touch. On the cover was a gorgeous human woman wearing a sleek beautiful dress and jewelry. Ruby pointed towards the page.
"Oh this one!"
They thumbed through the pages looking for information. Most neither one of them got as it talked about stuff like make-up, libido, popular fashion, and other things that they didn't either understand or see the appeal of. Then they found a page that described how a modern woman should act. Though this seemed to confuse the both of them even more.
"Be 'dem-or' and assertive? What does 'dem-or' mean?" Ruby asked the Chief.
"I'm not sure. There are many words within that don't seem to fit." He explained.
A pattern they soon found to be common among the pages of information, much of the words would make sense but spread out among them were these spots of words that seemed just out of place. What they COULD understand still didn't make any sense either.
"Be soft yet firm? How does that work?" The Chief asked.
"If you like a potential mate why make him keep trying to win your heart?" Ruby asked equally confused.
"Modern" humans were just as confusing to them it seemed. However, among the pages of contradictory information, they were able to get SOMETHING of value! Humans like gifts. Though they both knew that and didn't really feel like these pages of "modern courting" did anything more than confuse them.
"What kind of gifts?" The Chief asked as he and Ruby tried to decipher the mess of flowery wording and nonsense.
"Jewelry, clothes, food." Ruby read off as they got the general gist of the overly convoluted wording. The pictures helped more though.
"Well! At least we found something... I think?" The Chief declared at least with a little uncertainty.
"Why did you collect all this?" Ruby asked.
"It was in a book, so I thought it was important. But it would seem that not everything in this world's books are worth keeping." The Chief stated before retrieving the tome and departing.
"Where are you going?"
"To go through my collection. It would seem that some of it is not as important as I first thought." He called out as he left.
She could hear him mumbling to himself and heard the occasional tearing as he did. Well, at least they found something, she thought as she turned towards the eggs once more. She placed a claw on the onyx shells and felt the comforting warmth of the fire as well as the warmth of the eggs. They'll be fine for now, she thought as she got up and left.
"Jewelry, clothes, and food." Ruby murmured as she went down the tunnel once again.
He was getting low on clothes, she thought. But there wasn't much around here to make some with. Though perhaps some animal hides would work? But much of what they've collected was too small for clothes of Jeb's size. Getting him food seemed redundant too. He could make his own food whenever he wished. Which left jewelry.
It was the better of the options, but they didn't have much in the way of jewelry either. No raids means no loot and the piles of treasure back in their former home wasn't exactly a priority at the time of their exodus. But then she spied the copper wire the kobolds had collected while scavenging. A copper band would be nice, she thought as she was given the piece of wiring from the scavenger.
But what else, she thought as she looked around some more. The pictures in the magazine showed jewelry that glittered with gold and diamonds and so much more that they no longer had. Nothing around here could compare, she thought dejectedly. But then she saw a group of kobolds coming down a tunnel with a collection of shells and waterlogged timber.
"What is this?" She asked them.
"Salvage from the camps up river." The kobold replied as he and the others began to sift and sort the mess.
She watched as they distributed everything they collected to the tribe that came over. Some took the waterlogged wood, others took polished stones, and others took the collection of shells. She eyed the shells. Back home, alot of the fishfolk in the rivers and around the sea collected pearls from the water. Perhaps the ones upriver also had some?
She followed after the group of kobolds that had collected the shells and assisted them in opening a few. Mussels were what was mainly here, no surprise though since it seemed they were far from this world's ocean. What was a surprise was how many pearls they actually managed to find among the mussels!
It was rare for the kobolds to find one during their fishing trips by the sea. Even among the rivers pearls were not much more common. So it surprised them that several mussels had multiple pearls within them! She was going to actually barter for potentially the single one they found, but with there being so many the shuckers didn't mind at all and gave Ruby a small handful for her project.
They weren't all that big, but that was fine by her. They'd do for what she had in mind. She borrowed a small thin metal needle from a scavenger and retreated back to her room. Copper wire and freshwater pearls in claw.
-----
Well, that's taken care of, Jeb thought as he appeared in the open air of the lodge. He flicked the gold and garnet band into the air and got it with a spring in his step and a tune on his lips as he made his way over to the Trap Master who stood near the river where he received reports from the salvagers.
"How's things?" He asked when he got close.
"Good. Strange. But good." The Trap Master stated as he dismissed the salvagers.
"How so?"
"The 'murlocs' you called them? Haven't returned to their former homes." He explained.
"And? Wasn't that kinda the point?"
"It was. But there isn't any sign of anything else other than birds flocking to the area."
"Again, wasn't that the point?"
"Only if something worse didn't move in." The Trap Master explained further.
Jeb groaned.
"What moved in?"
"Nothing."
"Nothin'?"
"That we can see. No new tracks, no scents, nothing."
"So what's the problem?"
"The problem is that much carrion should've drawn every scavenger and hungry animal for miles."
"But it hasn't." Jeb finished.
"No. The birds infest the area but largely leave us alone. Though some get a little territorial over their spots of carrion. But nothing else has moved into the area."
Jeb groaned again.
"So what do you wanna do?"
"Nothing."
"Really?" Jeb asked in surprise.
"Yes. If the other animals and creatures nearby are giving the place a wide berth then we'll exploit it as long as we can. We'll send some scouts to keep an eye on the place though."
"Perhaps the smell of death is what's doin' it?" Jeb suggested.
"Maybe. Would explain the large number of birds. But nothing else?"
"Yeah, you're right. Well let me know if you need help with it." Jeb said.
"Will do."
"Oh! Before I forget, I made a trade agreement with the dwarves."
The Trap Master cocked a scaled brow.
"Oh?"
"Yeah. Food for tools. We'll need to set aside five crates twice a week, but we'll get some decent tools to help speed up excavation." Jeb explained.
The Trap Master tapped his claws against his scales in thought.
"That's doable."
"You sure? Cuz I'm more than happy to do it all myself." Jeb said and conjured an apple to make his point.
"No. The tools are for us, we should assist. Besides, we gathered more for our former master. Five crates twice a week will be easy enough to do." The Trap Master stated in a relaxed tone.
"Alright, if you're certain." Jeb said.
"I am. We'll let you know if anything changes." The Trap Master replied.
"Alright, have it your way." Jeb returned and departed while tossing the conjured apple towards the lazing salamanders nearby.
Jeb ported down to the main gathering area. The place was just as busy as when he left as the kobolds went about their duties and tasks with vigor and joy that he's only really seen when they were staying in his basement. Guess he was the one living in their basement now, he thought with a chuckle.
He played with the gold and garnet band as he shuffled nervously. Wasn't sure why he was so nervous, he thought. She already had his kids, kinda, sorta. They were already living together. This would just be the natural progression of things. Kinda, sorta. He heaved in a big gulp of air to steady his nerves.
"Alright. Quite procrastinatin' Jeb." He muttered to himself and started down the tunnel towards his home.
He stopped when his boot stepped on something different. He looked down and picked up a magazine page.
"Modern courtin' for the modern woman? Where the hell did this come from?"
Probably Sammy's, Jeb thought as he tossed aside the girly garbage. Not sure what it was doing out here though. Maybe she brought it for Thanksgiving and forgot it? Or maybe the kobolds swiped it when they raided her hairspray? Or maybe she just left it among his other articles one of the times she and his pa would go over to his place.
"Oh well." He said as he continued on.
He could hear humming as he got closer, and saw a familiar pale blue light. He walked into his room and saw Ruby humming as she tinkered with something. Nearby was their eggs, sitting in the balefire. He should've panicked. He should've dropped everything and ran over trying to save his kids. That's what a father would do right?
But he didn't have that gut wrenching feeling of seeing your kids in danger he thought he would. Still, he walked over beside Ruby. She yelped in surprise and fumbled with what she was working on as Jeb reached out a hand and touched their onyx colored eggs.
"Jeb?! I was- They were-" Ruby tried to explain while also trying to gather her things.
"It's alright." Jeb said.
"It is?" She asked with concern.
"Yeah. They're not hot." He said as he stroked the shells through the fire that did nothing to him.
"Are you sure?" She asked with worry and concern.
"Yeah. Doubt it'll do anythin' more to 'em." Jeb said with a bit more bitterness in his voice than he wanted there to be.
He saw Ruby's face fall at his words. Nice job dickhead, Jeb thought to himself. He sighed and turned towards Ruby.
"I'm sorry. I'm just nervous 'bout everythin' happenin'."
"I'm nervous too." She stated and leaned into him for a hug, which he eagerly returned.
They held each other for a long moment before Ruby perked up and scrambled away.
"Hold on! Don't look!"
"Look at what?" Jeb asked with a cocked brow as he did his best to hide his own gift.
"I said don't look!" She chided.
"Alright!" He said with a laugh.
He turned away as he heard her grumbling and fumbling with whatever she was working on when he walked in on her. While he waited, he stretched out his hand and caressed their eggs. Please don't get any weirder, he pleaded mentally while he waited.
"Ok! You can look now!" Ruby called at last.
Jeb turned back around and saw Ruby holding a ring towards him. It was some braided copper wire with a couple of small pearls threaded on. She held it up to him.
"What do you think?"
Wait, was this a gift or was she asking him to marry her, Jeb thought. He had to say something though, the look of confusion on his face was making Ruby sad.
"I love it! What's it for exactly?"
"Well, I'm courting you!" She said as Jeb accepted the copper and pearl braided band.
"Courtin' me? What does that-" Jeb started when he noticed a rustle from his left boot.
He looked down and pulled off a piece of paper that had stuck to it. MODERN COURTING FOR THE MODERN WOMAN, it said in bold on the paper. He turned it around towards Ruby.
"Did you read this?"
She shuffled.
"Yes? I wasn't sure how you court a human in this world! But the words were confusing and didn't make any sense and- why are you laughing?"
"I'm laughin' because this is trash! None of the stuff in here is how you should court someone!" Jeb said with a laugh.
"But it says-" Ruby started when Jeb tossed the magazine paper into the nearby fire, which ate it instantly.
"It's just somethin' that girls read to pass the time. Nothin' in there is worth the paper it's printed on." Jeb declared.
"Oh. So?" Ruby asked dejectedly as she gestured to the ring she made for Jeb.
"This is just fine. Though do you know what it means to get a ring for someone?" Jeb asked.
"That they love one another?" Ruby said a little unsure now.
"Yeah. I guess it does. But the act of givin' someone you love a ring is a symbol that you want to be together." Jeb explained and produced his own gift for Ruby.
Her eyes went wide as she grasped the gold and garnet band.
"But we're already together."
"Yeah. We are."
"So what does the rings mean?" Ruby asked as she examined the band.
"Well, it's more religious really."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. It's supposed to mean... somethin'." Jeb started as he realized he didn't entirely recall what the meaning of the ring was supposed to mean.
"Mean what?" Ruby pressed as she tried to fit the band on her arm and then her tail.
"Well. It generally means being together forever."
"But why the ring?"
"It means a sort of exclusivity for folk." Jeb explained.
"Why? What about the rest of the tribe? Does that mean you won't help them?" She asked.
"No! I can, or will, or... this is harder than I thought it'd be." Jeb said with a sigh.
Ruby cocked a brow as well.
"So what happens?"
"Well, we exchange rings and promise to love one another forever. In sickness and health and yada yada. Then we're husband and wife." Jeb explained.
"Why? We're already mates and we love one another. What does our health have to do with it? And what is a 'husband and wife'?"
"Well... You know what? Forget it. Do you promise to love me?"
"Yes! Do you?"
"Yup!"
"Yay!" Ruby cried and hugged Jeb.
"And I now pronounce you man and wife." Jeb muttered as he kissed Ruby.
Ruby giggled and pulled away.
"So what happens now?"
"Now... I don't know. Usually there would also be paper work, but given... us, it prob'bly wouldn't matter."
"So what changes?" Ruby asked as she affixed the gold and garnet band to one of her horns with a smile.
"Uhm... nothin'? We're already together, we already live together, we already have kids... kinda." Jeb listed off.
"So what's the rings supposed to mean?"
"It means... I love you." Jeb replied at last, giving up on trying to explain something he himself wasn't entirely informed of.
"I love you too!" Ruby cried and kissed him.
He returned the kiss. Not like this would've been an official wedding anyway, Jeb thought. They don't exactly have a licensed priest to officiate it. Or witnesses. He doubt their still shelled eggs would count. He could ask the Chief to oversee it. But he already got a headache trying to explain marriage to Ruby, he didn't really want to explain it to the Chief, or any other kobolds that might be interested.
Not like it made anything different, Jeb thought. Ruby was right. They loved one another. They lived together. They had kids together. For all intense and purpose, they were mates. Sure if he was particularly religious he could insist on going to a church and doing things official. But given how things have turned out for them lately, he wouldn't be surprised if he burst into flames stepping inside a church.
Well, there was ONE tradition that they could still do, Jeb thought with a smirk as he picked up Ruby bridal style.
"Wanna consummate our marriage?"
"What does that mean?" She asked.
"Don't worry. You'll like it." Jeb said as he led her over to their moss bed.
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Trout's Landing.
Ruby stretched with a contented sigh. She turned her head over to where Jeb slept beside her. Or where he was when she fell asleep. She sat up and looked around the dark underground room but he wasn't here either.
"Wonder where he went."
Oh well, she thought as she stretched a few stiff muscles before hopping up and collecting their eggs. As nice as it was to sleep with them, they needed more consistent warmth. So she sat them to the side, bundled up in the still warm blanket, and departed to secure a source of fire for their eggs.
Which wasn't all that hard, she realized as her dark vision faded as the blue glow from the torches up ahead illuminated the main gathering area for the burrows. She smiled as she saw the tribe return to something familiar that she missed seeing for a while.
Several tunnels branched off towards the other cabins and already kobolds came and went from them as they began to migrate away from the chill air above for the, still cool but more comfortable, air below. As they did she could see the collections they brought back and forth. Animals, alive and dressed, were being moved down here and out of the elements for better care. As well as an easier time keeping the ever gluttonous salamanders from sneaking another meal. Scraps and salvage collected from around the lodge or while out exploring being brought down and being traded or even used to furnish the space.
Bits of wood with simple carvings were lodged into the dirt along side scraps of metal or rock with soot, mud, or crushed flower pigment to paint symbols or words on them for decoration or directions. While it wasn't the bustling forum that they once had, it gladdened her to see her tribe returning to normalcy once again.
She shook away the distracting thoughts and set her sights on some scrap of wood nearby. She darted over to the vendor, deftly avoiding a section of the ground being dug up as the kobolds dug ever deeper as they sought to expand their burrows ever more. It was in their nature to dig and burrow. While they no longer had a draconic master to excavate massive caverns and tunnels for, she wouldn't be surprised if kobold tunnels ended up expanding far past the border of the lodge itself and going far into the wild where they knew nothing about save for what little Jeb has told them.
Eventually, even this gathering area will be abandoned as the tribe moved deeper down, putting as much dirt and rock between them and whatever threats laid above. The only thing that would remain would be an assortment of traps to keep any invaders wary of going deeper than the kobolds wanted. Even then, many of the tunnels that would lead deeper would be dead-ends meant to slow or hinder any invader. Some would even be traps in and of themselves, collapsing the "tunnel" on top of even the most cautious of invader or even just blocking their escape and leaving them to die before the kobolds eventually dug out their remains and collected their gear with no trouble.
She stood before the assortment of wood and looked over the scrap. Some of it was processed lumber that looked to be from the buildings above, most was collected bits of wood from the forest though. Which was fine, she didn't need anything too big. No bartering took place. She was a leader of the tribe and it was assumed whatever she wanted was for the good of the tribe.
Even starting a warming fire for her eggs was good enough for the tribe to skip bartering and simply give her what she needed. So she collected enough wood for a nice fire and returned to her home. She sorted it into the indent in the ground that Jeb had placed their eggs in before. It would be a good place to start a heating fire for them, she thought as she finished arranging them.
She left and collected some tinder made of dried moss and grass before looking around for some stone or flint to start the fire with. But no such luck. All the stone was deeply imbedded in the dirt or was too large. She once more returned to the gathering area in search of fire. Which she quickly found in the form of the glowing blue fire that Jeb had created for the kobolds.
She shuffled a little as she stared at the dancing flame. She knew Jeb didn't like the idea of the kobolds using the blue fire. He probably wouldn't like the idea of heating their eggs with it either. She should be worried as well, she thought. But she wasn't. Staring at the flame reminded her of the vision that The Crone showed her. Of her and Jeb within a ring of flaming blue orbs. They were happy. The tribe was happy.
"He'll understand." She said as she darted and collected a piece of wood to transfer a spark from a nearby torch.
Ember in hand, she rushed back to her home. She gently eased the flame towards the bundle of wood. She yipped in shock when the flame leapt from her temporary torch and engulfed the pile! Their room burst into dancing shadows as the flames danced from their new home. So pretty, she thought as she stared at the fire. She had seen it when she would come out of their room in the old building for a break. But it seemed so mesmerizing now that it was right in front of her.
She widened the indent in the ground a little so that the eggs could receive the warmth from the fire without being too close. They might be mildly resistant to fire, but not enough to throw their eggs in a fire! Then again, she thought with worry as she held her claw out at the fire. The warmth from it isn't as strong as a normal fire it seemed. Like it was contained.
She clicked her claws in worry. She didn't want to push them too close, but they wouldn't get enough heat if they remained where they were. It would only get worse as it got colder and the cold seeped into the ground. Maybe just a little closer, she thought as she nudged the eggs closer to the fire.
The flames sputtered at the movement of air, but nothing more. She held out her claw to gauge the temperature once again. But it still wasn't enough, she thought as she clicked her claws against a nearby stone in thought. She cast a glance towards the tunnel. She could maybe see if one of the others have something to make a proper fire, she thought.
She put a claw on the eggs.
"No. That'll take too long."
She looked worryingly at the tunnel as if Jeb would appear and lambast her for even thinking what she was. She held her breath and pushed the eggs forwards. Then more. Then even more. The flames sputtered and danced as the eggs were pushed closer and closer. She could only just feel the heat as she did so. Why did the fire seem so weak, she thought as she pushed the eggs right up beside the bundle of burning wood.
Yet the fire seemed to move around the eggs, like they were doing their best to avoid touching them. Even the heat from the fire seemed to be avoiding them! Ruby growled in frustration and pushed the eggs right into the fire!
"Can you just keep them warm?!"
The fire stilled and froze as the eggs were pushed into it. As if it didn't know what to do. Then the flame roared to life once again. The balefire caressed the onyx shells as it seemed to dance across the smooth black surface of the shells. As if a barrier broke, the heat from the flame radiated outwards now. Ruby could now feel the warmth from the fire where seconds ago she felt nothing.
Ruby blinked at the eldritch flame and moved her claw to touch her eggs. She instinctively pulled back as a tongue of balefire arced in her direction. She whined in worry at possibly making a terrible mistake. She held her breath and once more reached out to caress her eggs. She bit her tongue and shut her eyes when the fire arced towards her once more.
But she didn't feel pain. No burning sensation one would get when normally sticking an appendage into a roaring fire. Instead she felt a comforting warmth. Like she felt when close to Jeb as they slept together. She cracked open an eye and found the baleful flame caressing her claw. She experimented a little by pulling her claw back, feeling as the flame seemed to latch on like it didn't want her to leave, before snapping back to its "body". She pushed her claw into the fire, further this time, all the way up to her elbow. The fire latched onto her once again and flooded her with a comforting warmth that shot straight to her core!
She turned her claw upwards and pulled back once more. She watched as the flame held on as she did so, once more refusing to leave her scales. She watched as the flame snapped once again, but this time, it broke! Instead of snapping back towards its body, she now held a burning ball of balefire in her claw!
She couldn't do magic. There were few of the tribe that could before they fled to this world. The Chief was the last among them that had any ability to harness it. Yet here she was, holding a magical fire within her claw! She watched as the flame danced and twisted in her grasp. She sucked in a breath when she watched it start to diffuse INTO her scales! The flame lessened and lessened as if it were dying, but instead the fire seeped between the cracks of her scales. She could feel it racing through her body, flooding it once more with a wave of comforting warmth.
"Den Mother?" A voice asked from the tunnel nearby.
Ruby yelped in surprise and turned towards the voice. She saw the Chief standing there watching her with a curious and amazed expression on his snout.
"Having fun?"
"Chief!? I was-"
"Playing with fire?" The Chief asked playfully as he stared at the blue fire.
She shuffled nervously as he did so. Eventually he chuckled and she began to relax.
"It's alright Den Mother. You're not the only one that Master Jeb's flame as entranced among the tribe."
"Why do you think it acts so different from normal fire?" She asked.
The Chief shrugged.
"Who knows. Perhaps it is how magic works in this world. Perhaps it is something on Master Jeb's part. Perhaps it is because our former- Kortaza, was the Keeper of Flame."
"But we never had much protection from fire before. And not any way to manipulate it." Ruby said.
The Chief sighed.
"True. I truly do not know why it is so different than normal fire. Fire is alive, yes. But this one seems almost..."
"Living?" Ruby suggested.
"Yes. Like it has a mind of its own. Though I doubt that much, perhaps it merely follows the will of Master Jeb, knowingly or not on his part." The Chief continued as he walked closer and sat down beside Ruby and watched the eggs glimmer and shine within the fire where they remained quiet for some peaceful moments.
The Chief then perked up.
"Oh! Master Jeb returned!"
"He did?! Where is he?" Ruby asked and looked around expecting to see him coming down the tunnel.
"Well, he did return. Rushed around and collected an assortment of food, and then he vanished away again. Something about a trade?" The Chief explained a little unsure.
She frowned, wonder what he was trading, she thought. Though, with the eggs now taken care of, and Jeb away for a moment. Perhaps now was the time she could see about doing something special for him. She turned to the Chief, he was more knowledgeable when it came to humans and their customs.
"Chief?" She asked.
"Yes? What is it?" He asked at the tone of her voice.
"What do you know of this world's humans?"
"Oh? What would you like to know?" He asked a little excited in being able to use his collected knowledge.
"What do humans do with those they care about?" She asked a little uncertainly.
The Chief hummed in thought and tapped his claws.
"It depends. Humans are as diverse in this world as ours. Many customs I've read about belong to different groups."
"What about the tribe that Jeb belongs to?"
The Chief hummed once more in thought and got up before darting away while calling back.
"I will check! I'm sure I have something!"
While she waited, she continued to play with fire and tend to her eggs. Since they were in the flame, they didn't need quite so studious attention as they did before. She could probably just leave them and go tend to her normal duties and not have to worry about them anymore.
Who was she fooling, she thought. Even if there was a way to hatch and tend to the eggs completely without her, she'd still want to look after them. She thought she heard Jeb mentioning something about an "electrical egg incubator" once upon a time. Whatever that was.
The Chief returned, huffing from being out of breath and holding a thickly bound tome with pages of different sizes and colors poking out of the patched bindings. He placed the heavy tome on the ground with a huff.
"This is my collection of this world's customs and knowledge. If there is something that will assist you it will be in here somewhere!"
Ruby oohed and awed as the Chief flipped open the tome and leafed through page after page of information. Some were pages from magazines, others were snippets and clippings from books, there was a few pages that contained pressed cuttings of local flora as well as a collection of small animal bones among the bindings.
They stopped on a page that read MODERN COURTING FOR THE MODERN WOMAN in bold letters on a page that felt smooth to the touch. On the cover was a gorgeous human woman wearing a sleek beautiful dress and jewelry. Ruby pointed towards the page.
"Oh this one!"
They thumbed through the pages looking for information. Most neither one of them got as it talked about stuff like make-up, libido, popular fashion, and other things that they didn't either understand or see the appeal of. Then they found a page that described how a modern woman should act. Though this seemed to confuse the both of them even more.
"Be 'dem-or' and assertive? What does 'dem-or' mean?" Ruby asked the Chief.
"I'm not sure. There are many words within that don't seem to fit." He explained.
A pattern they soon found to be common among the pages of information, much of the words would make sense but spread out among them were these spots of words that seemed just out of place. What they COULD understand still didn't make any sense either.
"Be soft yet firm? How does that work?" The Chief asked.
"If you like a potential mate why make him keep trying to win your heart?" Ruby asked equally confused.
"Modern" humans were just as confusing to them it seemed. However, among the pages of contradictory information, they were able to get SOMETHING of value! Humans like gifts. Though they both knew that and didn't really feel like these pages of "modern courting" did anything more than confuse them.
"What kind of gifts?" The Chief asked as he and Ruby tried to decipher the mess of flowery wording and nonsense.
"Jewelry, clothes, food." Ruby read off as they got the general gist of the overly convoluted wording. The pictures helped more though.
"Well! At least we found something... I think?" The Chief declared at least with a little uncertainty.
"Why did you collect all this?" Ruby asked.
"It was in a book, so I thought it was important. But it would seem that not everything in this world's books are worth keeping." The Chief stated before retrieving the tome and departing.
"Where are you going?"
"To go through my collection. It would seem that some of it is not as important as I first thought." He called out as he left.
She could hear him mumbling to himself and heard the occasional tearing as he did. Well, at least they found something, she thought as she turned towards the eggs once more. She placed a claw on the onyx shells and felt the comforting warmth of the fire as well as the warmth of the eggs. They'll be fine for now, she thought as she got up and left.
"Jewelry, clothes, and food." Ruby murmured as she went down the tunnel once again.
He was getting low on clothes, she thought. But there wasn't much around here to make some with. Though perhaps some animal hides would work? But much of what they've collected was too small for clothes of Jeb's size. Getting him food seemed redundant too. He could make his own food whenever he wished. Which left jewelry.
It was the better of the options, but they didn't have much in the way of jewelry either. No raids means no loot and the piles of treasure back in their former home wasn't exactly a priority at the time of their exodus. But then she spied the copper wire the kobolds had collected while scavenging. A copper band would be nice, she thought as she was given the piece of wiring from the scavenger.
But what else, she thought as she looked around some more. The pictures in the magazine showed jewelry that glittered with gold and diamonds and so much more that they no longer had. Nothing around here could compare, she thought dejectedly. But then she saw a group of kobolds coming down a tunnel with a collection of shells and waterlogged timber.
"What is this?" She asked them.
"Salvage from the camps up river." The kobold replied as he and the others began to sift and sort the mess.
She watched as they distributed everything they collected to the tribe that came over. Some took the waterlogged wood, others took polished stones, and others took the collection of shells. She eyed the shells. Back home, alot of the fishfolk in the rivers and around the sea collected pearls from the water. Perhaps the ones upriver also had some?
She followed after the group of kobolds that had collected the shells and assisted them in opening a few. Mussels were what was mainly here, no surprise though since it seemed they were far from this world's ocean. What was a surprise was how many pearls they actually managed to find among the mussels!
It was rare for the kobolds to find one during their fishing trips by the sea. Even among the rivers pearls were not much more common. So it surprised them that several mussels had multiple pearls within them! She was going to actually barter for potentially the single one they found, but with there being so many the shuckers didn't mind at all and gave Ruby a small handful for her project.
They weren't all that big, but that was fine by her. They'd do for what she had in mind. She borrowed a small thin metal needle from a scavenger and retreated back to her room. Copper wire and freshwater pearls in claw.
-----
Well, that's taken care of, Jeb thought as he appeared in the open air of the lodge. He flicked the gold and garnet band into the air and got it with a spring in his step and a tune on his lips as he made his way over to the Trap Master who stood near the river where he received reports from the salvagers.
"How's things?" He asked when he got close.
"Good. Strange. But good." The Trap Master stated as he dismissed the salvagers.
"How so?"
"The 'murlocs' you called them? Haven't returned to their former homes." He explained.
"And? Wasn't that kinda the point?"
"It was. But there isn't any sign of anything else other than birds flocking to the area."
"Again, wasn't that the point?"
"Only if something worse didn't move in." The Trap Master explained further.
Jeb groaned.
"What moved in?"
"Nothing."
"Nothin'?"
"That we can see. No new tracks, no scents, nothing."
"So what's the problem?"
"The problem is that much carrion should've drawn every scavenger and hungry animal for miles."
"But it hasn't." Jeb finished.
"No. The birds infest the area but largely leave us alone. Though some get a little territorial over their spots of carrion. But nothing else has moved into the area."
Jeb groaned again.
"So what do you wanna do?"
"Nothing."
"Really?" Jeb asked in surprise.
"Yes. If the other animals and creatures nearby are giving the place a wide berth then we'll exploit it as long as we can. We'll send some scouts to keep an eye on the place though."
"Perhaps the smell of death is what's doin' it?" Jeb suggested.
"Maybe. Would explain the large number of birds. But nothing else?"
"Yeah, you're right. Well let me know if you need help with it." Jeb said.
"Will do."
"Oh! Before I forget, I made a trade agreement with the dwarves."
The Trap Master cocked a scaled brow.
"Oh?"
"Yeah. Food for tools. We'll need to set aside five crates twice a week, but we'll get some decent tools to help speed up excavation." Jeb explained.
The Trap Master tapped his claws against his scales in thought.
"That's doable."
"You sure? Cuz I'm more than happy to do it all myself." Jeb said and conjured an apple to make his point.
"No. The tools are for us, we should assist. Besides, we gathered more for our former master. Five crates twice a week will be easy enough to do." The Trap Master stated in a relaxed tone.
"Alright, if you're certain." Jeb said.
"I am. We'll let you know if anything changes." The Trap Master replied.
"Alright, have it your way." Jeb returned and departed while tossing the conjured apple towards the lazing salamanders nearby.
Jeb ported down to the main gathering area. The place was just as busy as when he left as the kobolds went about their duties and tasks with vigor and joy that he's only really seen when they were staying in his basement. Guess he was the one living in their basement now, he thought with a chuckle.
He played with the gold and garnet band as he shuffled nervously. Wasn't sure why he was so nervous, he thought. She already had his kids, kinda, sorta. They were already living together. This would just be the natural progression of things. Kinda, sorta. He heaved in a big gulp of air to steady his nerves.
"Alright. Quite procrastinatin' Jeb." He muttered to himself and started down the tunnel towards his home.
He stopped when his boot stepped on something different. He looked down and picked up a magazine page.
"Modern courtin' for the modern woman? Where the hell did this come from?"
Probably Sammy's, Jeb thought as he tossed aside the girly garbage. Not sure what it was doing out here though. Maybe she brought it for Thanksgiving and forgot it? Or maybe the kobolds swiped it when they raided her hairspray? Or maybe she just left it among his other articles one of the times she and his pa would go over to his place.
"Oh well." He said as he continued on.
He could hear humming as he got closer, and saw a familiar pale blue light. He walked into his room and saw Ruby humming as she tinkered with something. Nearby was their eggs, sitting in the balefire. He should've panicked. He should've dropped everything and ran over trying to save his kids. That's what a father would do right?
But he didn't have that gut wrenching feeling of seeing your kids in danger he thought he would. Still, he walked over beside Ruby. She yelped in surprise and fumbled with what she was working on as Jeb reached out a hand and touched their onyx colored eggs.
"Jeb?! I was- They were-" Ruby tried to explain while also trying to gather her things.
"It's alright." Jeb said.
"It is?" She asked with concern.
"Yeah. They're not hot." He said as he stroked the shells through the fire that did nothing to him.
"Are you sure?" She asked with worry and concern.
"Yeah. Doubt it'll do anythin' more to 'em." Jeb said with a bit more bitterness in his voice than he wanted there to be.
He saw Ruby's face fall at his words. Nice job dickhead, Jeb thought to himself. He sighed and turned towards Ruby.
"I'm sorry. I'm just nervous 'bout everythin' happenin'."
"I'm nervous too." She stated and leaned into him for a hug, which he eagerly returned.
They held each other for a long moment before Ruby perked up and scrambled away.
"Hold on! Don't look!"
"Look at what?" Jeb asked with a cocked brow as he did his best to hide his own gift.
"I said don't look!" She chided.
"Alright!" He said with a laugh.
He turned away as he heard her grumbling and fumbling with whatever she was working on when he walked in on her. While he waited, he stretched out his hand and caressed their eggs. Please don't get any weirder, he pleaded mentally while he waited.
"Ok! You can look now!" Ruby called at last.
Jeb turned back around and saw Ruby holding a ring towards him. It was some braided copper wire with a couple of small pearls threaded on. She held it up to him.
"What do you think?"
Wait, was this a gift or was she asking him to marry her, Jeb thought. He had to say something though, the look of confusion on his face was making Ruby sad.
"I love it! What's it for exactly?"
"Well, I'm courting you!" She said as Jeb accepted the copper and pearl braided band.
"Courtin' me? What does that-" Jeb started when he noticed a rustle from his left boot.
He looked down and pulled off a piece of paper that had stuck to it. MODERN COURTING FOR THE MODERN WOMAN, it said in bold on the paper. He turned it around towards Ruby.
"Did you read this?"
She shuffled.
"Yes? I wasn't sure how you court a human in this world! But the words were confusing and didn't make any sense and- why are you laughing?"
"I'm laughin' because this is trash! None of the stuff in here is how you should court someone!" Jeb said with a laugh.
"But it says-" Ruby started when Jeb tossed the magazine paper into the nearby fire, which ate it instantly.
"It's just somethin' that girls read to pass the time. Nothin' in there is worth the paper it's printed on." Jeb declared.
"Oh. So?" Ruby asked dejectedly as she gestured to the ring she made for Jeb.
"This is just fine. Though do you know what it means to get a ring for someone?" Jeb asked.
"That they love one another?" Ruby said a little unsure now.
"Yeah. I guess it does. But the act of givin' someone you love a ring is a symbol that you want to be together." Jeb explained and produced his own gift for Ruby.
Her eyes went wide as she grasped the gold and garnet band.
"But we're already together."
"Yeah. We are."
"So what does the rings mean?" Ruby asked as she examined the band.
"Well, it's more religious really."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. It's supposed to mean... somethin'." Jeb started as he realized he didn't entirely recall what the meaning of the ring was supposed to mean.
"Mean what?" Ruby pressed as she tried to fit the band on her arm and then her tail.
"Well. It generally means being together forever."
"But why the ring?"
"It means a sort of exclusivity for folk." Jeb explained.
"Why? What about the rest of the tribe? Does that mean you won't help them?" She asked.
"No! I can, or will, or... this is harder than I thought it'd be." Jeb said with a sigh.
Ruby cocked a brow as well.
"So what happens?"
"Well, we exchange rings and promise to love one another forever. In sickness and health and yada yada. Then we're husband and wife." Jeb explained.
"Why? We're already mates and we love one another. What does our health have to do with it? And what is a 'husband and wife'?"
"Well... You know what? Forget it. Do you promise to love me?"
"Yes! Do you?"
"Yup!"
"Yay!" Ruby cried and hugged Jeb.
"And I now pronounce you man and wife." Jeb muttered as he kissed Ruby.
Ruby giggled and pulled away.
"So what happens now?"
"Now... I don't know. Usually there would also be paper work, but given... us, it prob'bly wouldn't matter."
"So what changes?" Ruby asked as she affixed the gold and garnet band to one of her horns with a smile.
"Uhm... nothin'? We're already together, we already live together, we already have kids... kinda." Jeb listed off.
"So what's the rings supposed to mean?"
"It means... I love you." Jeb replied at last, giving up on trying to explain something he himself wasn't entirely informed of.
"I love you too!" Ruby cried and kissed him.
He returned the kiss. Not like this would've been an official wedding anyway, Jeb thought. They don't exactly have a licensed priest to officiate it. Or witnesses. He doubt their still shelled eggs would count. He could ask the Chief to oversee it. But he already got a headache trying to explain marriage to Ruby, he didn't really want to explain it to the Chief, or any other kobolds that might be interested.
Not like it made anything different, Jeb thought. Ruby was right. They loved one another. They lived together. They had kids together. For all intense and purpose, they were mates. Sure if he was particularly religious he could insist on going to a church and doing things official. But given how things have turned out for them lately, he wouldn't be surprised if he burst into flames stepping inside a church.
Well, there was ONE tradition that they could still do, Jeb thought with a smirk as he picked up Ruby bridal style.
"Wanna consummate our marriage?"
"What does that mean?" She asked.
"Don't worry. You'll like it." Jeb said as he led her over to their moss bed.
[First] [Prev] [Next]
2024.05.15 23:52 Top-Bathroom-5143 Compilation of new things K revealed in her interviews today
If I missed anything or messed anything up please say so in the comments.
-K does consults for the hospital. She got called to do a psychiatric case and she had to get a restraining order on the woman because of her spiritual psychosis. She started receiving calls and being followed 2 years later. When she tracked the number it led her to JP's sister's house, the psychiatrist! A member in the church put his wife in the same mental institution, Mica into the same one, and tried to get K into the same one.
-he paid people to get back at Mica when she tried to divorce him. he paid ppl in the church to convince her to come back. paid a private investigator to make it look like she was the adulterous one so that he could "be in the clear to divorce her".
-people from the church told K that she was the light of the world, that they could see her with many children around her (despite her being incapable of having any), that she was demon possessed and that they could heal her, calling her husband at all hours of the night to try to get her to come in to have hands laid on her, and on the night of Mica's passing she received a text that said "Satan is present, please be careful and take care of yourself".
Edited to add videos links:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NZYnqHhTLU&t=908s&ab_channel=ConspiraTea https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUoN_agD2BM&t=3489s&ab_channel=JustinOnTikTok
submitted by Top-Bathroom-5143 to JusticeForMicaMiller [link] [comments]
- Solid Rock gives husbands pamplets out to make your wife subservient, jobless, homemakers. they believe women shouldn't look better than the man so JP would have her dress down when performing.
- JP told people for years that his dad was dead. K found out JP's dad was alive when a man she met at work showed her letters he'd been receiving from his best friend Wayne Miller for years. When she told her husband who she met, he hung up on her and didn't speak to her the rest of the day. 3 years this man told her things about Wayne Miller and suddenly after that she didn't see him again.
-K does consults for the hospital. She got called to do a psychiatric case and she had to get a restraining order on the woman because of her spiritual psychosis. She started receiving calls and being followed 2 years later. When she tracked the number it led her to JP's sister's house, the psychiatrist! A member in the church put his wife in the same mental institution, Mica into the same one, and tried to get K into the same one.
- 2 weeks before Mica died, he asked the congregation to in unison pray that Mica would hit her rock bottom and come back to the church. and told everyone not to accept calls from her if she called them for help because "it would be playing into her schizophrenia". she called many many ppl.
- apparently Mica was not in a mental institution this last time, she was actually in Africa. but the reason for her last visit to the institution is because she told members of the church that JP doesn't have an actual birth certificate with his name on it (this makes a bit more sense of that voicemail where she is saying she doesnt know who shes married to legally)
-he paid people to get back at Mica when she tried to divorce him. he paid ppl in the church to convince her to come back. paid a private investigator to make it look like she was the adulterous one so that he could "be in the clear to divorce her".
-people from the church told K that she was the light of the world, that they could see her with many children around her (despite her being incapable of having any), that she was demon possessed and that they could heal her, calling her husband at all hours of the night to try to get her to come in to have hands laid on her, and on the night of Mica's passing she received a text that said "Satan is present, please be careful and take care of yourself".
Edited to add videos links:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NZYnqHhTLU&t=908s&ab_channel=ConspiraTea https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUoN_agD2BM&t=3489s&ab_channel=JustinOnTikTok
2024.05.15 23:45 Gfdgsgxgzgdrc Revisiting the Mystery Valentine (An Overly Long Explanation of Why It's Definitely Gaster)
 | https://preview.redd.it/vfqpjxdvqn0d1.png?width=3005&format=png&auto=webp&s=5714871c0eb21939d134ffe5f90025eb3f2fc8e3 submitted by Gfdgsgxgzgdrc to Deltarune [link] [comments] I'm not sure why I'm still so hung up on this. For context, I kinda fell out of theorycrafting a while ago — at this point, I've seen every shred of evidence supporting or opposing every possible theory, and yet I feel no closer to any concrete conclusions on the game's lore. There are just too many questions, too many possibilities. Then the secret Valentine dropped. This letter raised a lot of questions I was eager to discuss! Instead, I was disappointed to find the discussion dominated by something I didn't even think to question: the writer's identity. This frustrated me a bit, as I felt that, for once, the conclusion was actually pretty clear-cut; it didn't strike me as something Toby Fox even intended for us to debate. At the time, this drove me to write a post discussing it (don't bother reading it, this post is better). I thought that would be the end of it for me, but somehow the debate has yet to leave my mind. Even now, from what I've seen, people are too busy arguing about who wrote the letter to discuss what's in it. All the while, I've not only grown more confident in the conclusion I've reached, but I feel more prepared to articulate why. I've also heard more counterarguments since then, which I will address in this post. I'll start with what we can agree on, before addressing more significant counterarguments and delving into progressively deeper levels of conjecture. Should be fun! Context and implicationsEven before looking at the letter itself, we can see that this is a rare, cryptic secret, already giving us an idea of who might be involved. I'd go so far as to say that Gaster is "rare, cryptic secrets" personified. To me, this is the main thing setting him apart from other characters.Obviously that's not to say that other characters can't be responsible for secrets like these, but giving the letter a cursory glance, the format doesn't fail us. All caps — this doesn't tell us much on its own, but when used alongside a very, very specific manner of double line spacing between and within sentences, compounded by the aforementioned association with secrets... Toby Fox is clearly trying to tell us something here, so I'm not a fan of any theory that completely discards that. You'll probably agree with this point — even Gaster Valentine deniers admit that there is an intentional association being drawn. If you disagree... sorry, I don't know what to tell you. When it comes to Gaster, having a mysterious secret with all-caps weirdly-spaced text is basically equivalent to Susie walking onscreen and saying "Hi, I'm Susie". Sure, maybe a plot twist down the line will reveal that this isn't actually Susie... But you'd only suspect that if she says something that would imply it, and for now, we're only looking at the presentation. There's another association I haven't seen as many people bring up: the fact that the letter is anonymous. Ironically, "not being confirmed to be Gaster" is one of Gaster's identifying characteristics. In every case, we're left to assume his involvement from cues such as those we see here: secrets, crypticism, capitalization, spacing, all that. Anonymity is his signature. By including these quirks and leaving it uncredited, he may as well be signing "GASTER" in flashing letters. And that's not even getting into the implication of Wingdings and the letter disappearing after being read, which are both Gastery as all get out. A couple minor notes regarding the writer's anonymity:
If the voice from the vessel creation sequence says something to the effect of: https://preview.redd.it/lsfu4bxrqn0d1.png?width=514&format=png&auto=webp&s=14867b9e9ea46dfc4f7c7fc91de69c574cab530d I'll be the first to admit that it probably isn't Gaster. But I don't think that's the case here, and to discuss why, we'll have to move on from the context to the content. Personality and mannerismsThe obvious problem with analyzing Gaster is that he has yet to be properly introduced, much less developed. We've only ever interacted with him outside Deltarune's story and world, and furthermore only briefly, within a very narrow range of contexts. Additionally, these interactions are written to provide us with as little characterization as possible — he is succinct and direct, never shifting the subject beyond what is relevant to us. This itself could be considered characterization, but without the "why", there's not much to glean from it.Regardless of whether this trait is dependent on context (there's little room for conversation in a survey program, after all) or is simply an ever-present aspect of his personality, I'd argue it carries over to the letter. He tries to begin with polite small talk, but each topic he broaches is swiftly dismissed; once again, he can hardly bring himself to deviate from "the purpose of the message". Speaking of which, that fact — that this is the only Valentine with an explicit "purpose" — itself provides characterization. Almost as though this character would only contact us for an important reason (perhaps a character with a history of doing so, often outside the game). Almost as though we've met this character before (otherwise, I suspect Toby would've focused exclusively on characterization rather than motives, as with Lanino and Elnina). I realize I'm getting into full speculation territory now, but hopefully I've made it clear why it's necessary to do so. Gaster's personality and motives are largely up to personal interpretation — I think we can agree that, were that not the case, the debate would be a lot more one-sided. Your interpretation of the character can't be used as conclusive evidence for your theory. Of course, I'm not exempt from this either! My interpretation could be completely off-base as well. That said, I'd like to at least explain why it all lines up in my head. (Feel free to compare my interpretation with his dialogue, which I've compiled here: https://pastebin.com/yR5Y8qhw) Let's get the specific shared mannerisms out of the way before moving onto the more general similarities. Specifically:
Gaster is also known to be polite and formal, always offering greetings ("WELCOME"), gratitude ("THANK YOU FOR WAITING SO LONG"), and compliments ("YOU HAVE CREATED A WONDERFUL FORM"). We see this reflected quite well in the letter — "AS YOU ARE WAITING PATIENTLY" and "DO YOU BELIEVE IT SO?" certainly don't feel like the words of someone speaking casually. Like Gaster, the writer also uses fewer exclamation marks and contractions than most. Granted, the fact that the writer uses contractions at all is cause for suspicion... but, since they're outnumbered by the uncontracted phrases, contraction usage remains closer to Gaster than anyone else (except Toriel, I guess). Although we haven't seen Gaster use contractions in his few prior instances of dialogue... evidently, he does use them, albeit infrequently. The formality even goes beyond word choice — his repeated backtracking on the exact order of "PUT ON YOUR COAT AND WASH YOUR FACE" brings to mind his polite accommodation of our choices in the vessel creation or save menu. It doesn't seem like him to forcefully tell us what to do, or in what order to do it, and the letter's ending serves to exaggerate that quality. He may not use any highly technical language here, but that makes sense in this less scientific context (especially when you consider that he doesn't use scientific terminology all that often anyway). Gaster's constant emphasis on the subject at hand, saying something odd or outright wrong whenever he alludes to anything else (listing the wrong options for whatever he means by "FAVORITE BLOOD TYPE", or listing such favorite flavors as "PAIN" and "COLD") — it's always given me the impression that Gaster's transcendent brilliance doesn't extend far beyond his own work. That's not to say he's stupid, far from it, but definitely a bit "out there" (I feel this much is apparent from the multiple typing quirks he uses). At the very least it feels inarguable to me that, while Gaster is smart, he doesn't know everything, and (like any Toby Fox character) he isn't always intended to be taken 100% seriously. Casting our gaze over to the letter, this once again checks out. Confusing the new year with the old year, considering himself to be the person he's forgotten, mixing up the recipient's face and coat — these feel more-or-less like a natural development of Gaster's established eccentricity, like the kinds of weird things that would only make sense from his unique, potentially fractured, extradimensional perspective. Sure, "THE TIME IS GOING AROUND" may not make sense to us mortal beings, but neither does "DELTARUNE GLOWS BRIGHTLY FROM YOUR HOPE". Ending a message with the archaic "GOOD BY" feels roughly equivalent to randomly putting [24] in brackets. The increased emphasis on these quirks makes sense in this more casual context, and adds tonal consistency with the other Valentines — being a spooky creepypasta character is hard work, and I think the guy's earned a day off. The friendliness also makes it out to seem like the writer has communicated with us in the past, which wouldn't make sense for anyone other than Gaster, and certainly wouldn't have made sense in something like the vessel creation sequence. I find that it also makes sense from an extradiagetic perspective — Toby Fox is just providing characterization here, not announcing a new chapter, so there's less reason to write Gaster with as much purpose and brevity as in previous appearances. Basically, the idea that Gaster is completely serious and grounded while the letter writer is completely goofy... I don't get it. I really don't think either of those things are true. I'm not even sure what I would change about the letter to make it sound more like Gaster... Did you expect less exclamation marks? More line breaks (which would make it overly long and monotonous, might I add)? Less whimsical turns of phrase? At that point the letter wouldn't deepen our understanding of the character at all, and I fail to see what the point would be. And the idea that the letter ruined Gaster's character makes even less sense to me — for one, what does this letter really establish about Gaster that wasn't already alluded to? I suppose the letter makes him out to be more whimsical than most of us thought, but how is that a downgrade from "static, one-dimensional robotic scientist"? Can "whimsical scatterbrain" and "robotic scientist" not coexist? Is the gradual reveal of depth and contrasts not at the heart of most Toby Fox characters?? The directness of his speech has made him feel more like a plot device up to this point, so this letter was the first time I truly felt invested in Gaster as a character outside of his unique presentation. I don't think "saying things in a casual context that could be construed as humorous" (again, especially when he already says things like "FAVORITE BLOOD TYPE") is enough to consider him "scrunkly goober #78" — and even if it was, Toby has a way of delivering the most emotionally impactful moments through the funniest characters, so I'm not particularly worried. All that to say: it's my belief that, even looking past the context and format, the letter aligns more closely with Gaster than any other character. Who else has such a formal and cordial composure contrasted against an air of inscrutable strangeness? Motives and memoryGaster hasn't exactly been transparent about his goals, and the letter writer isn't giving us a whole lot to work with either, so we're going to have to get even more speculative here. That said, the conclusion I've arrived at makes a lot of sense to me, relates to established elements of Deltarune, and even explains away some people's reasons for this not being Gaster. Those being:
But this post isn't about that. My point is, while there's not much to glean in the way of connections between the letter person's goals and Gaster's, I don't think there's anything contradicting such connections either. https://preview.redd.it/gswysspqtn0d1.png?width=392&format=png&auto=webp&s=248273e7bacc131cf9e9422a0aebdaeeacc6c9b6 Oh. Right, I guess there's that. If this is the same Gaster we've worked with before, why doesn't he say "YOU HAVE PROVEN YOURSELF TO BE RELIABLE"? I feel like this minor word choice could be justified by any number of explanations. For one, the phrasing makes a bit more sense within the full context: basically "you're odd, but you seem reliable regardless". You could also argue that, since he's asking something different of us this time, we haven't proven ourselves to be reliable for this specific task. Or that since we've only been assisting in the "Deltarune" project for 2 of 7 chapters, that's not enough time for him to fully consider us reliable. Or, maybe the only reason we do seem reliable to him is because we've been assisting him — otherwise we wouldn't seem reliable at all. Heck, it could just be odd phrasing for a character who constantly uses odd phrasing, only misleading under a specific interpretation. TranslationTo recap, I think the context and format convey a very clear implication — one that could be a red herring, but that I believe is only supported by the writer's personality, and (at the very least) not contradicted by their goals. Here is where I believe we come to the first hole in my argument.The Japanese translation doesn't sound particularly close to how Gaster speaks in Japanese. I don't speak Japanese, so there's not much I can do to back up or debunk this claim — perhaps people are overlooking some of the more minor similarities, as with the English version...? Or maybe there's more nuance to the translation process than most people think, and the writing style is highly adaptive to tone, mood, context, or method of delivery, or affected by cultural differences...? I don't know, so for now I can do nothing but take it at face value, and consider what this inconsistency might imply. People seem divided into two camps with regards to the translation: "the English version very clearly sounds like Gaster, therefore the Japanese version doesn't matter" and "the Japanese version very clearly doesn't sound like Gaster, therefore the English version doesn't matter". Frustratingly, neither of these actually address the inconsistency. If we assume it isn't Gaster, the English version clearly goes out of its way to mislead us into thinking it is (as I've already justified extensively), so why not do the same for the Japanese version? If Toby wanted to clear up ambiguity by making the Japanese version distinct from Gaster, why not do the same for the English version? Whichever way you slice it, it's a contradiction. That said, I think there are a few things working in my favor here. For one, English is Toby's native language, as well as the most common language spoken by his fanbase. Japanese translation is handled by a different team under Toby's supervision; they had a lot of Valentines to translate, and likely a pretty strict deadline. It's believable that time constraints forced the team to prioritize accuracy to the content and tone of the letter over consistency with established text quirks. There's also the fact that the English version is the only one to imply a clear sender (unless you want to reach and say the secrecy and metaknowledge of the Japanese version imply Gaster as well); personally, I feel inclined to believe a deliberate implication over the lack of one. Adding weight to this point, this isn't generally the sort of thing casual fans are going to speculate about — anyone who knows about the letter has likely heard of both versions, which means most will gravitate toward whichever one implies a specific identity. Because of this, the Gaster interpretation seems to prevail even in the Japanese fanbase. Basically, I don't like that making sense of the letter forces me to either make up an arbitrary narrative explanation for the discrepancy, or to write off either the English or Japanese version as unreliable... However, this decision is made much easier by the fact that, the way I see it, only one of them provides mounds of evidence (from the context to the specific format to the anonymity to the metaknowledge to the formality to the strange mannerisms and so on) pointing toward a single interpretation. Alternative explanationsI've seen a few other theories regarding the writer's identity, the most common of which being the idea that Gaster was shattered into multiple personalities, and that this is a different "shard" from the one we've communicated in the past — I take issue with any theory that compartmentalizes one complicated character into multiple simple ones, but I suppose it doesn't necessarily have to be done that way. There are also theories that this is the Chapter 3/4 secret boss (associated with Gaster based on precedent), Mike (associated with Gaster through Spamton), or IMAGE_FRIEND (associated with Gaster via filename conventions), some of whom may or may not be the same person.My main argument against these theories is that I simply don't think they're necessary. To reiterate, I think the whimsy Gaster displays here is consistent with his previous characterization (we've only seen him in scientific contexts until now, and even then a bit of whimsy manages to slip through), and the forgetfulness can easily be explained as well (since it only seems to apply to one subject). Again, the only hole I can find in my interpretation is the Japanese version, and none of these theories really explain the inconsistency there, leaving us back at square one — if it's merely a character associated with Gaster as opposed to the man himself, why aren't the similarities and differences roughly the same in both versions? These theories don't make much sense to me when I attempt to look at them from Toby Fox's perspective, either. Getting a secret Valentine from Gaster is, technically speaking, like the coolest thing ever, and I think he realizes this. If he's willing to include a secret letter with this much lore in it, why leave out such an important character we've already communicated with? And furthermore, why give a different mysterious character so many of the same characteristics we use to identify Gaster in the absence of his appearance or name? Also, isn't it telling that the debate seems split evenly between "Gaster" and "a theoretically infinite supply of basically made-up Gaster-adjacent characters"? While these theories could end up being accurate, I don't yet see any precedence for either Gaster having multiple personalities, nor any as-of-yet unseen/nonverbal characters sounding like the letter writer; these theories simply exist to explain a contradiction that I believe isn't truly there. They embody the principle of explosion, or "from contradiction, anything follows" — if you accept that it sounds both "like Gaster" and "unlike Gaster", you can make up anything in between these possibilities, an untouchable theory that can neither be proven by evidence or disproven by counterevidence. I personally don't find that line of thought very compelling. In the most popular video on the topic, SpookyDood analyzes the letter through cadence, language, context, and function; however, I think something is lost from analyzing these aspects separately. Cadence, language, and function are largely dependent on context. If we accept the letter into that pool of Gaster characterization rather than nitpicking it into oblivion, we simply see new patterns emerge. We see that Gaster only uses particularly large words when he's referring to something scientific. We see that Gaster is slightly more enthusiastic when there's less pressure to be serious and professional. Basically, I feel that all of the inconsistencies SpookyDood brings up are easily explained by this letter being a different narrative context from the one Gaster has previously occupied (and I presume will largely continue to occupy), which is what I find so interesting about it. As for cadence, SpookyDood says that "[Gaster's] pattern of each few words being broken up by a line break is no longer present", but the first 3 sentences alone are divided into 6 lines. He even calls out certain sentences in the vessel creation as going against this pattern, proving that it doesn't have to be consistent — while these line breaks do define the flow of Gaster's speech, I think the frequent use of ellipses here achieve the same effect without needlessly extending the length of the image. The video ultimately posits that the writer is the man behind the tree, and honestly, I don't entirely disagree with that conclusion. The use of "well" checks out, as does the happy mood. In the case of both "DO YOU BELIEVE IT SO?" and "He might be happy to see you. What do you think?", the text moves on without directly responding to our answer. There's also a more loose connection to be made, in that both of these questions involve reality being dependent on our thoughts (whether each day is or is not a day of love, and whether there is or is not a man there), and likewise, dropping the egg causes the narration to act as though the egg was never there. (Obviously the man himself doesn't say any of this, but the association's still there through the narration.) The connections don't strike me as plentiful or strong enough to stand toe-to-toe with the Gaster interpretation, but without much to go off of regarding the man, it doesn't have to deal with as much counterevidence either. I'd say I have the same problem with this theory as the others I've mentioned (an excessive avoidance of contradiction such that, instead of associating with said contradictions, the letter is attributed to a character we know so little about that it can't be argued against), but there's a fairly reasonable basis for argument here. Thing is, I don't think these interpretations are mutually exclusive. I was ambivalent toward Gaster and the man (the mystery man, you could say) being one and the same, but the letter has done a lot to sway me toward that conclusion. Strengthening the connections between the letter, the man, and Gaster are the mutual association with forgetting (due to the blog post where Noelle can't remember the name of her egg), secrets, and disappearances. The letter's contrasting of contradictory statements ("NEW YEAR" vs. "OLD YEAR", "WASH YOUR FACE" vs. "WASH YOUR COAT") call to mind both the man ("a man" vs. "not a man", "not too important" vs. "not too unimportant") and the strange someone who corrupted Jevil ("didn't make sense" vs. "didn't not make sense"). If the letter was supposed to be written by the man, but not Gaster, I imagine the letter would have been formatted like this instead: https://preview.redd.it/igudqtpisn0d1.png?width=2500&format=png&auto=webp&s=0dd63050999a033459f6255ac671a1ac4ad4fcd9 ConclusionSorry, that was long. I'm done! |
2024.05.15 23:44 owww13 [QCrit] Adult Literary Fiction, SPLITTINGS, 90k (2nd Attempt)
Hey all! You can find my first attempt here. Thanks again for all the advice. I'm hoping it made this draft a bit stronger. I tried to pair down a bit and focus a bit and make its happenings a bit less vague (hopefully).
I cut off the section about keying his car because it's a moment that ushers in the end of Act 1 for the book and help keys off some of the threads in Act 2 and 3—I was worried it occurred too late in the novel to really make sense in the letter.
I've included my first 300 (and a bit extra) below as well!
Letter: I am seeking representation for my work, SPLITTINGS, a queer coming-of-age literary fiction novel set in Kansas during the early 2010s, complete at 90,000 words.
If Derek wants to feel like an actual gay person, he just looks at his phone. He doesn’t know how to exist in a world he can’t curate. In real life, there are protests against gay marriage. He listens to his twin, Jason, call people “fags.” When Derek meets college student Andrew, he believes the only relationship they can have is an online one.
Derek grows jealous his brother’s relationship with a neighborhood girl and escalates his relationship with Andrew. Suddenly, he's not just watching GIFs spliced from gay movies. Derek is sneaking out of house and lying about where he’s been. He’s starring in his own scenes.
But Derek doesn’t how to act. Or even how being gay should feel like. What does should he say on a date when he can’t look up a fact or send a meme? What’s the right expression to make when he sees Andrew’s dick for the fist time? It’s not the same as being on his phone. Derek feels like he’s not even a real person. If he was, he’d know how to behave. He’d know which person he is: the one he is around his family and friends, the one entangled with Andrew, or the one he witnesses online.
SPLITTINGS would appeal to fans of novels like Sarah Thankam Mathews’s All This Could be Different and Brandon Taylor’s Real Life.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
300:
The light from my phone made it hard to see the rest of the world. I read life expectancy statistics. A website siloed the information into demographic categories. Tabs on medical and family history collared the top of the page. I almost couldn’t tell I was in my bedroom. The smell from my sheets, my own scent, filled my brain. I didn’t know how I was breathing, how there was still oxygen available. In the morning I sometimes struggled to believe there was a whole world. I understood this as a nihilist issue: life was an object, a frictionless ball in a pachinko game, pinging off different immutable factors set generations before birth.
An advertisement for superfoods flashed across my screen. The picture, a man’s chest, made me want to dissolve but in a way that would somehow be good for the environment. I checked Andrew’s profile. It had only been thirty minutes since I last looked, which made me feel ashamed. Nothing on his page had changed since we met a few days ago.
Jason moved inside of his room. The sound came through our shared wall. Moving souvenirs on his desk. Laying his upper torso on the bed.
He had been annoyed at me since we went down to the river to celebrate graduation. Everyone had worn Class of 2013 t-shirts or collegiate apparel. As a twin-joke, Jason had made us switch shirts. He wanted to reset our relationship to a previous, juvenile state. People confused us all night. Because he was there, no one noticed when I left to walk the banks.
I had been practicing being alone. In a few months I was moving states for college. People kept saying it would be difficult being away from everyone, but the isolation would reveal a purer version of myself. My own removal made scenes more interesting and alive. At the party, my absence was the only novel detail. Relationships wove together in an uncomplicated net. Our friends believed they knew each other and that made them feel safe.
submitted by owww13 to PubTips [link] [comments]
I cut off the section about keying his car because it's a moment that ushers in the end of Act 1 for the book and help keys off some of the threads in Act 2 and 3—I was worried it occurred too late in the novel to really make sense in the letter.
I've included my first 300 (and a bit extra) below as well!
Letter: I am seeking representation for my work, SPLITTINGS, a queer coming-of-age literary fiction novel set in Kansas during the early 2010s, complete at 90,000 words.
If Derek wants to feel like an actual gay person, he just looks at his phone. He doesn’t know how to exist in a world he can’t curate. In real life, there are protests against gay marriage. He listens to his twin, Jason, call people “fags.” When Derek meets college student Andrew, he believes the only relationship they can have is an online one.
Derek grows jealous his brother’s relationship with a neighborhood girl and escalates his relationship with Andrew. Suddenly, he's not just watching GIFs spliced from gay movies. Derek is sneaking out of house and lying about where he’s been. He’s starring in his own scenes.
But Derek doesn’t how to act. Or even how being gay should feel like. What does should he say on a date when he can’t look up a fact or send a meme? What’s the right expression to make when he sees Andrew’s dick for the fist time? It’s not the same as being on his phone. Derek feels like he’s not even a real person. If he was, he’d know how to behave. He’d know which person he is: the one he is around his family and friends, the one entangled with Andrew, or the one he witnesses online.
SPLITTINGS would appeal to fans of novels like Sarah Thankam Mathews’s All This Could be Different and Brandon Taylor’s Real Life.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
300:
The light from my phone made it hard to see the rest of the world. I read life expectancy statistics. A website siloed the information into demographic categories. Tabs on medical and family history collared the top of the page. I almost couldn’t tell I was in my bedroom. The smell from my sheets, my own scent, filled my brain. I didn’t know how I was breathing, how there was still oxygen available. In the morning I sometimes struggled to believe there was a whole world. I understood this as a nihilist issue: life was an object, a frictionless ball in a pachinko game, pinging off different immutable factors set generations before birth.
An advertisement for superfoods flashed across my screen. The picture, a man’s chest, made me want to dissolve but in a way that would somehow be good for the environment. I checked Andrew’s profile. It had only been thirty minutes since I last looked, which made me feel ashamed. Nothing on his page had changed since we met a few days ago.
Jason moved inside of his room. The sound came through our shared wall. Moving souvenirs on his desk. Laying his upper torso on the bed.
He had been annoyed at me since we went down to the river to celebrate graduation. Everyone had worn Class of 2013 t-shirts or collegiate apparel. As a twin-joke, Jason had made us switch shirts. He wanted to reset our relationship to a previous, juvenile state. People confused us all night. Because he was there, no one noticed when I left to walk the banks.
I had been practicing being alone. In a few months I was moving states for college. People kept saying it would be difficult being away from everyone, but the isolation would reveal a purer version of myself. My own removal made scenes more interesting and alive. At the party, my absence was the only novel detail. Relationships wove together in an uncomplicated net. Our friends believed they knew each other and that made them feel safe.