Robin Williams has a quote about what the key to life is - family, friends, and pug; can anyone tell me where it came from/where it was said (interview or something?) I see pictures with it all the time but nothing crediting an interview or whatnot in which the he said that.

There are 15 days to leave a formal comment for the DOE on the new loan forgiveness plans if anyone would like to leave one. It’s not the debt strike or blanket forgiveness I’d prefer but I know every person forgiven is a person set free. There’s a lot of leather munching “pay your debt kid” type quotes and it would be a shame if those got drowned out.
https://www.federalregister.gov/documents/2024/04/17/2024-07726/student-debt-relief-for-the-william-d-ford-federal-direct-loan-program-direct-loans-the-federal?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAR0sfafjTWTP6qQvXnsFVbkDR3S6U82tQZs6gKNdR3EYmw3etlVi_ep2-Ds_aem_Acebkm9QEMvmCnXruqvI0P_v6pHy_CXbyph8h9yNUEt8hckQS2nmMy5Vdcv_T7rVH_iMSWKj3g9ghFNOpatdy963

I’ve been feeling pretty lonely, for longer than I’d like to admit. Kind of like that Robin Williams quote, about nothing being worse than to be surrounded by people who make you feel disregarded and entirely on your own. So I’d just like to put my little message out there into this digital space, and see if someone feeling similarly might resonate with what’s in it, enough to strike up a bond.
Sorry in advance for the glum nature of this. I’m usually a lot cheerier. But I have a lot of hope I’ll come across someone worthwhile!
I’m not at my most lucid, so I’m not sure I’ll be able to adequately describe myself, ‘specially when put on the spot like this, but here goes…something…
Well, for one, I like a lot of sixties music (or you might say pretty music, in general), like that of the Beach Boys. Harmonies like those are incredible, and really leave me in wonderment and awe at just how much loveliness exists and is possible in the world. I love to sing, myself, though I’ve had my singing ability tampered with by long-COVID, which I’ve been suffering through for three and-a-half years, now.
I love video games. I think as a medium, they’re endlessly fascinating—miniature simulations of worlds just like ours! Everything has to be there, but in its own unique manner—water and its accompanying sounds, nature, living beings, settlements. It’s always a joy to see what teams both large and small can accomplish, within strict limitations or without…the end result is always precious and enrapturing to me. I love older ones, and I love newer ones. I especially love playing and exploring them with other people, so if you have the same desire, it would be really fun to!
Relationship-wise, I prefer it most (or rather, I need this) when both partners are open-hearted, considerate, and willing to share—when they each show clear and consistent effort and enthusiasm, trading it back-and-forth to strengthen the bond. I believe in love shown through actions, not just words.
I’m going to end with that, as I’m feeling kind of spent for typing up a post, right now—but I’m sure I’ll be energized through good conversation, so I hope to hear from somebody who maybe thinks they can connect with me! Thank you so much for giving my message your time.

Abstract
Page collects quotes on geniuses expressing desire to have met geniuses before them.
List
Adams on desire to have met Thomson:

“I have been studying science for ten years past, with keen interest, noting down my phrases of mind each year; and every new scientific method I try, shortens my view of the future. The last — thermodynamics — fetches me out on sea-level within ten years. I’m sorry Lord Kelvin is dead [48A/1907]. I would travel a few thousand-million miles to discuss with him the thermodynamics of socialistic society. His law is awful in its rigidity and intensity of result.”
— Henry Adams (46A/1909), “Letter to Charles Gaskell”, May 2

Einstein on desire to have met Gibbs:

“Lorentz is the greatest and most powerful thinker I have ever known. I never met Willard Gibbs, but, perhaps, had I done so, I might have placed him beside Lorentz.”
— Albert Einstein (1A/1954), response to question about who were the greatest men, and most powerful thinkers he had known

I’ve been feeling pretty lonely, for longer than I’d like to admit. Kind of like that Robin Williams quote, about nothing being worse than to be surrounded by people who make you feel disregarded and entirely on your own. So I’d just like to put my little message out there into this digital space, and see if someone feeling similarly might resonate with what’s in it, enough to strike up a bond.
Sorry in advance for the glum nature of this. I’m usually a lot cheerier. But I have a lot of hope I’ll come across someone worthwhile!
I’m not at my most lucid, so I’m not sure I’ll be able to adequately describe myself, ‘specially when put on the spot like this, but here goes…something…
Well, for one, I like a lot of sixties music (or you might say pretty music, in general), like that of the Beach Boys. Harmonies like those are incredible, and really leave me in wonderment and awe at just how much loveliness exists and is possible in the world. I love to sing, myself, though I’ve had my singing ability tampered with by long-COVID, which I’ve been suffering through for three and-a-half years, now.
I love video games. I think as a medium, they’re endlessly fascinating—miniature simulations of worlds just like ours! Everything has to be there, but in its own unique manner—water and its accompanying sounds, nature, living beings, settlements. It’s always a joy to see what teams both large and small can accomplish, within strict limitations or without…the end result is always precious and enrapturing to me. I love older ones, and I love newer ones. I especially love playing and exploring them with other people, so if you have the same desire, it would be really fun to!
I’m going to end with those, as I’m feeling kind of tired—but I’m sure I’ll be energized through good conversation, so I hope to hear from somebody who maybe thinks they can connect with me! Thanks for giving my message your time.

I’ve been feeling pretty lonely, for longer than I’d like to admit. Kind of like that Robin Williams quote, about nothing being worse than to be surrounded by people who make you feel disregarded and entirely on your own. So I’d just like to put my little message out there into this digital space, and see if someone feeling similarly might resonate with what’s in it, enough to strike up a bond.
Sorry in advance for the glum nature of this. I’m usually a lot cheerier. But I have a lot of hope I’ll come across someone worthwhile!
I’m not at my most lucid, so I’m not sure I’ll be able to adequately describe myself, ‘specially when put on the spot like this, but here goes…something…
Well, for one, I like a lot of sixties music (or you might say pretty music, in general), like that of the Beach Boys. Harmonies like those are incredible, and really leave me in wonderment and awe at just how much loveliness exists and is possible in the world. I love to sing, myself, though I’ve had my singing ability tampered with by long-COVID, which I’ve been suffering through for three and-a-half years, now.
I love video games. I think as a medium, they’re endlessly fascinating—miniature simulations of worlds just like ours! Everything has to be there, but in its own unique manner—water and its accompanying sounds, nature, living beings, settlements. It’s always a joy to see what teams both large and small can accomplish, within strict limitations or without…the end result is always precious and enrapturing to me. I love older ones, and I love newer ones. I especially love playing and exploring them with other people, so if you have the same desire, it would be really fun to!
I’m going to end with those, as I’m feeling kind of tired—but I’m sure I’ll be energized through good conversation, so I hope to hear from somebody who maybe thinks they can connect with me! Thanks for giving my message your time.

I’ve been feeling pretty lonely, for longer than I’d like to admit. Kind of like that Robin Williams quote, about nothing being worse than to be surrounded by people who make you feel disregarded and entirely on your own. So I’d just like to put my little message out there into this digital space, and see if someone feeling similarly might resonate with what’s in it, enough to strike up a bond.
Sorry in advance for the glum nature of this. I’m usually a lot cheerier. But I have a lot of hope I’ll come across someone worthwhile!
I’m not at my most lucid, so I’m not sure I’ll be able to adequately describe myself, ‘specially when put on the spot like this, but here goes…something…
Well, for one, I like a lot of sixties music (or you might say pretty music, in general), like that of the Beach Boys. Harmonies like those are incredible, and really leave me in wonderment and awe at just how much loveliness exists and is possible in the world. I love to sing, myself, though I’ve had my singing ability tampered with by long-COVID, which I’ve been suffering through for three and-a-half years, now.
I love video games. I think as a medium, they’re endlessly fascinating—miniature simulations of worlds just like ours! Everything has to be there, but in its own unique manner—water and its accompanying sounds, nature, living beings, settlements. It’s always a joy to see what teams both large and small can accomplish, within strict limitations or without…the end result is always precious and enrapturing to me. I love older ones, and I love newer ones. I especially love playing and exploring them with other people, so if you have the same desire, it would be really fun to!
I’m going to end with those, as I’m feeling kind of tired—but I’m sure I’ll be energized through good conversation, so I hope to hear from somebody who maybe thinks they can connect with me! Thanks for giving my message your time.

I’ve been feeling pretty lonely, for longer than I’d like to admit. Kind of like that Robin Williams quote, about nothing being worse than to be surrounded by people who make you feel disregarded and entirely on your own. So I’d just like to put my little message out there into this digital space, and see if someone feeling similarly might resonate with what’s in it, enough to strike up a bond.
Sorry in advance for the glum nature of this. I’m usually a lot cheerier. But I have a lot of hope I’ll come across someone worthwhile!
I’m not at my most lucid, so I’m not sure I’ll be able to adequately describe myself, ‘specially when put on the spot like this, but here goes…something…
Well, for one, I like a lot of sixties music (or you might say pretty music, in general), like that of the Beach Boys. Harmonies like those are incredible, and really leave me in wonderment and awe at just how much loveliness exists and is possible in the world. I love to sing, myself, though I’ve had my singing ability tampered with by long-COVID, which I’ve been suffering through for three and-a-half years, now.
I love video games. I think as a medium, they’re endlessly fascinating—miniature simulations of worlds just like ours! Everything has to be there, but in its own unique manner—water and its accompanying sounds, nature, living beings, settlements. It’s always a joy to see what teams both large and small can accomplish, within strict limitations or without…the end result is always precious and enrapturing to me. I love older ones, and I love newer ones. I especially love playing and exploring them with other people, so if you have the same desire, it would be really fun to!
I’m going to end with those, as I’m feeling kind of tired—but I’m sure I’ll be energized through good conversation, so I hope to hear from somebody who maybe thinks they can connect with me! Thanks for giving my message your time.

Here's a list of different forms of modern poetry, along with the title, poet, and a quote from a work that made the genre popular:

1. Spoken Word Poetry:
   
   • Title: "Holler If You Hear Me"
   • Poet: Saul Williams
   • Quote: "I exist without skin color, without nationality, without religious bias."
2. Instagram Poetry:
   
   • Title: "Milk and Honey"
   • Poet: Rupi Kaur
   • Quote: "you tell me to quiet down cause my opinions make me less beautiful but I was not made with a fire in my belly so I could be put out."
3. Hip-Hop Lyrics:
   
   • Title: "The Message"
   • Artist: Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five
   • Quote: "Don't push me 'cause I'm close to the edge. I'm trying not to lose my head."
4. Spine Poetry:
   
   • Title: "A Hummingbird in My House"
   • Poet: S.C. Wilson
   • Quote: "In my house, the air is filled with a hummingbird's song, sweet and gentle."
5. Lyrical Essays:
   
   • Title: "Citizen: An American Lyric"
   • Poet: Claudia Rankine
   • Quote: "Because white men can’t / police their imagination / black men are dying."
6. Instapoetry:
   
   • Title: "The Sun and Her Flowers"
   • Poet: Rupi Kaur
   • Quote: "how you love yourself is how you teach others to love you."
7. Twitter Poetry:
   
   • Title: Twitter poetry often exists as micro-poetry or haikus within the platform.
   • Poet: Various Twitter poets
   • Quote: "City lights whisper, hearts embrace the night, love blooms in shadows."
8. Song Lyrics (Rock):
   
   • Title: "Bohemian Rhapsody"
   • Artist: Queen
   • Quote: "Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango!"
9. Song Lyrics (Rap):
   
   • Title: "Lose Yourself"
   • Artist: Eminem
   • Quote: "You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow. This opportunity comes once in a lifetime."
10. Free Verse Poetry:
    
    • Title: "Leaves of Grass"
    • Poet: Walt Whitman
    • Quote: "I celebrate myself, and sing myself."
11. Ecopoetry
    
    • Title: "The Wild Iris"
    • Poet: Louise Glück
    • Quote: "You who do not remember / passage from the other world / I tell you I could speak again: whatever / returns from oblivion returns / to find a voice..."
12. Afrofuturist Poetry
    
    • Title: "Space is the Place"
    • Poet: Sun Ra (also a jazz musician)
    • Quote: "Space is the place of the mind; space is the place of the thoughts that are positive."
13. Pop Culture Poetry
    
    • Title: "The Princess Saves Herself in This One"
    • Poet: Amanda Lovelace
    • Quote: "but if you only shine light / on your flaws, all your perfects / will dim."
14. Transgressive Poetry
    
    • Title: "Hustle"
    • Poet: David Lerner
    • Quote: "Life's a fast car on a wet road, with no brakes and bald tires."
15. Multimedia Poetry
    
    • Title: "Inanimate Alice"
    • Poet: Kate Pullinger and Chris Joseph
    • Quote: "Inanimate Alice, Episode 4: 'Hometown' is a work that appeals not only to readers and writers but also to gamers and cinephiles."
16. Instapoetry
    
    • Title: "Salt."
    • Poet: Nayyirah Waheed
    • Quote: "if the ocean can calm itself, so can you. we are both salt water mixed with air."
17. Digital Minimalist Poetry
    
    • Title: "The New Census: An Anthology of Digital Poetry"
    • Poet: Stephane Mallarmé (the digital interpretation)
    • Quote: "Everything in the world exists in order to end up as a book."
18. Concrete Poetry
    
    • Title: "Easter Wings"
    • Poet: George Herbert
    • Quote: "With thee / O let me rise / As larks, harmoniously, / And sing this day thy victories."
19. Postcolonial Poetry
    
    • Title: "The God of Small Things"
    • Poet: Arundhati Roy
    • Quote: "Things can change in a day. All it takes is for something to happen that's not supposed to happen, and it sets off a chain of events that alters the course of everything."
20. Twitterature (Twitter Poetry)
    
    • Title: Various Tweets
    • Poet: Contemporary poets like Rupi Kaur, Warsan Shire, and others
    • Quote: "In the quietest hours of the night, I find solace in the echoes of your laughter. #moonlightwhispers"
21. Multimedia Poetry:
    
    • Title: "Hypertext Hotel"
    • Poet: Jodi Ann Stevenson
    • Quote: "In the digital corridors, every hyperlink is a door to a new verse."
22. Meme Poetry:
    
    • Title: "Internet Memes"
    • Poet: Various Internet Users
    • Quote: "Impact font wisdom, a generation's humor encapsulated in a single image."
23. Neo-Surrealist Poetry:
    
    • Title: "The Persistence of Memory"
    • Poet: Salvador Dalí (Visual Art)
    • Quote: "The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad."
24. Afrofuturist Poetry:
    
    • Title: "Parable of the Sower"
    • Poet: Octavia E. Butler
    • Quote: "All that you touch, you change. All that you change, changes you."
25. Virtual Reality Poetry:
    
    • Title: "VR Dreamscape"
    • Poet: VR Experience Designers
    • Quote: "In pixelated realms, dreams dance in virtual echoes."
26. Magnetic Poetry (Magnetic Words):
    
    • Title: Various Magnetic Poetry Kits
    • Poet: Various Magnetic Poets
    • Quote: "On fridges and desks, words collide to birth serendipitous verses."
27. Post-Internet Poetry:
    
    • Title: "Being and Time in the Internet Age"
    • Poet: Kenneth Goldsmith
    • Quote: "In the age of information, poetry is reclaimed from the detritus of the digital landscape."
28. Transcendentalist Poetry:
    
    • Title: "Walden"
    • Poet: Henry David Thoreau
    • Quote: "I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately."
29. Quantum Poetry:
    
    • Title: "The Dancing Wu Li Masters"
    • Poet: Gary Zukav (Science and Philosophy)
    • Quote: "The fact is, if you see it correctly, everything is dancing."
30. Asemic Writing Poetry:
    
    • Title: "The Asemic Poems"
    • Poet: Various Asemic Writers
    • Quote: "In the absence of recognizable text, the pen dances freely, creating abstract visual poetry."

I haven't edited this, but here it is, all 9 pages, for your reading pleasure. I am very excited to hear your opinions on my critique, and what you thought about it. I loved the book, and I'm very ready to watch the movie in a couple days. I had so much fun reading it. Thank you for reading! -Ari
---
​
An Analysis of Turtles All the Way Down, in lieu of the movie*,* from a feminist and communist perspective
When talking about mental illness, especially with a book like Turtles All the Way Down, one has to acknowledge the sense of isolation and feelings of catastrophizing that come with the mental health crisis brings. The first time you have a mental health breakdown, especially when you’re not a seasoned veteran, dealing with the first hospitalizations and medication stabilizations, one doesn’t know what to expect.
From personal experience, the book talks about the situation in a couple of weeks, but in my personal experience, it took months to stabilize myself, get my meds right, to leave the hospital, and I wasn’t “myself” again for another six months after leaving the hospital because the medication they had put me on had inevitably turned me into a zombie. But, of course, mental health journeys are not all the same, and not everybody’s experiences are the same. Sometimes, it takes longer, sometimes less.
But, I think it is worth talking about Aza’s journey from a literary standpoint from a communistic and feminist perspective because it talks about the human experience that real people find themselves in in the real world, in real circumstances, especially when it comes to the value of the mentally ill in society, the roles we place on our care givers and support systems around us, and the dangers of turning everyone around us into a caregiver (such as “caregiver’s fatigue” or “codependency”).
“I felt my stomach begin to work on the sandwich, and even over everybody’s talking, I could hear it digesting, all the bacteria chewing the slime of peanut butter- the students inside of me eating at my internal cafeteria”. (Green 2) When Aza talks a lot about her OCD, she mentions the idea of C.Diff bacteria eating away at her, and depersonalizing (not feeling like a real person, or being a fiction). I think it’s important to talk about the nature of her mental illness, about the symbolism of the disease because, in the context of the book, she technically is a fictional character, and that her fears are not unfounded in the sense that we are reading about a fictional character afraid that they’re a fictional character. And that there’s a strangeness in that there’s an awareness that she’s experiencing that maybe the other people around her aren’t experiencing, on some level that is perceived as mental illness, but is hyper alertness or hyper awareness.
The sense of depersonalization is the fact that she is being controlled by the writer, John Green, who wrote the book about her, and the sense that she is not in control of her actions is also, not unfounded.
So, there’s a sense of irony when describing her mental illness because it should be given with care and compassion because the irony is that, she is a fictional character, and the things she’s experiencing are real, and they shouldn’t be understated or devalued in any meaningful way in the same way that for a lot of mentally ill people the experiences that they have have value to them and what they are experiencing are real to them and what they are experiencing feel real to them.
“You know how old people lose all shame about eating, and it makes you puke to watch them? (Burroughs 6)”
“They can consume us like parasites, eat us, drink us, and leave us lifelessly prostrate. And yet we are always inviting the parasite as if we are eager to be drained and eaten. (Bellow 62)”
The thing about her friend, Daisy, which I found fascinating in the book is that, from a feminist perspective, although Daisy calls her “Holmsey” which refers to Sherlock Holms, Daisy is slated as a main character type who is always chatting away and leading the show and being the person who is leading in situations. In fact, it’s to the point that Aza turns Daisy into a mother figure and has her, at several points throughout the novel, direct her actions like her own mother does.
“And we will improve your mood until you are able to say three or even four words in a row; sound good?”
“Sounds good.”
“And then you can take me to work, Sorry, but I need a ride.” (Green 8)
There are several references to Daisy even being about the same physical statue as her mom, to the point that Daisy has physically reduced all the women in her life to one role: caretaker and sees them as one overseeing entity.
“Daisy was about my mom’s size…”. (Green 20)
This serves a purpose in that she feels incapable of being autonomous to herself because her mental illness has depersonalized her and made her out-of-control of her actions. It’s very much like she is like Mychal, who is physically described as a baby by Daisy (and, at first, is physically repulsed by the idea of being in a relationship with, but still gets into a relationship with him). Daisy is constantly taking care of the people around her. Her mother is constantly taking care of Aza, even to the point of, during her breakdown, carrying her from her bed to the bathtub, and back again, much like a baby.
And this is because society thinks, through the communistic perspective that mental illness renders us useless and infantilizes us. And, we see that several times throughout the novel that Daisy vents her frustration for Aza in her fanfictions by calling Ayala, the character that represents Aza, as “useless” which embarrasses Aza.
Capitalistic society demands that we constantly prove our worth and value to the system every day by proving our fitness, lest we become infantilized and are deemed “useless”. Though we will receive love, care, and support from those around us, the people who deem us mental ill might never see us as “normal” or “functional” to the needs and wants of the system in a way that is useful to the system.
Which is where Davis comes in as a very interesting character as well as the symbolism of the White River.
“The White River is beautiful in the abstract- blue herons and geese and deer and all that stuff- but the actual water itself smells like human sewage. Actually, it doesn’t smell like human sewage; it smells of human sewage, because whenever it rains, the sewers overflow and the collective waste of Central Indiana dumps directly into the river.” (Green 19-20)
We learn that the reason for the smell is Pickett’s Engineering mishandling funds to set up a tunnel system would handling the Sewage Retention Systems for when it rained in Indianapolis. Pickett got the money twice, for contracts that were mishandled, making him very rich, and through bribery, but the tunnels were never finished.
At the end of the novel, his body was found in the tunnels, dead, which is a strange fitting end for someone who tried to escape through tunnels that he was never able to complete, but also sad, because he had explained that he would try to outlive death by trying to leave his money to his pet tuatara.
It is the use of wealth in the novel that is very interesting from a communistic perspective because the mishandling of funds got Pickett his wealth, and destroyed the natural resources of the White River’s natural beauty, thus alienating the natural resources enjoyed by the citizens. But, at the same time, the tunnels that were unfinished later became co-opted as a guerrilla effort to beautify an ugly space that was mishandled by the bourgeoisie and average citizen to create an art space, in which Mychal showcased the seemingly popular “Prisoner 101” piece.
Also, the wealth that Pickett received from the mishandling of funds was later redistributed after his disappearance in smaller amounts to his children, unsuspecting bystanders of the affected nature of his actions, as well as Aza and Daisy for their silence, active bystanders in the investigation in the form of $100,000.
“We are about to live the American Dream, which is, of course, to benefit from someone else’s misfortune. (Green 23)”
The misfortune that Daisy and Aza had profited from was the disappearance (and later death) of Pickett himself.
“He freely gave to charity/ He had the common touch /And they were grateful for his patronage /And they thanked him very much /So my mind was filled with wonder /When the evening headlines read/“Richard Cory went home last night/And put a bullet through his head.” (Simon, Garfunkel)
But, it supported their college fund, and continued future that would assure their ability to have a more sustainable future without worry or care, a redistribution of wealth in the circumstance.
“But maybe the money is just part of me. Maybe that’s who I am. A moment later he added: What’s the difference between who you are and what you have? Maybe nothing. (Green 78)”. The struggle that Davis had was that he felt as though he weren’t good enough for Aza because of his wealth, that it made him inferior because it made him pompous, that because he because he only had material things to give her, especially in the eyes of her mother, that he was pompous, egotistical, and arrogant.
“They say love flies out the window when poverty comes in the door, but people get the sense backwards. (Dazai 81)” From the feminist perspective about Davis, he was the poorest person in the group because he lacked a mother figure, which is something that everybody else had, and that what everybody else was rich in, experience, which can’t be exchanged for material possessions, are one of the inalienable things, like people.
It’s why have been proven, in communistic theory to be important, though they aren’t necessarily providing a working function to the system because they provide intrinsic value elsewhere.
“The capital given in exchange for labor power is converted into necessaries, by the consumption of which the muscles, nerves, bones, and brains of existing laborers are reproduced, and new laborers are begotten … the individual consumption of the laborer, whether it proceed within the workshop or outside it, whether it be part of the process of production or not, forms therefore a factor of the production and reproduction of capital; just as cleaning machinery does. (Rivkin, Ryan 903)”
That’s quoting Marx, which places inherent value on women, though lesser value and seeing them as wives, mothers, and cleaning machines, as part of the labor force, just unpaid labor force.
The whole point is that Davis saw her as normal because he himself seemed to be struggling with mental illness himself, and that his wealth deemed him privilege to be seen as normal. And, a lack of a support system didn’t get him always the adequate care he needed in order to be taken care of, that he had to be a “strong man” or “man up” and take care of his brother and be the support system (thus, from a feminist perspective, it seems as though the infantilization of mental illness only falls towards women because we often ignore the problems of men’s mental health struggles).
And, as well, it seems as though, through this normalization that Davis did for her, he allowed her to be seen in a way that provided her support, and as well as giving her financial support was able to provide for her in a meaningful way in her future that would change her life and make it so that she was able to provide for herself, despite the fact that, at the end of the novel, she would see many future struggles, but she would be able to gain the autonomy she needed to be a fully fledged, realized human being in order to take care of the next generation.
“Merrick: Ladies and gentleman, thank you… for revealing yourselves tonight. I’ve always found that when I have had an audience, they learn nothing true of me.. But I see what’s real in them. And, if they are lucky, they go home a more honest version of themselves. (A beat.) Maybe that is only what I wish to believe… that my visage could bring some good… (a longer beat.) I’m tired. I’m so very tired. (Martin 50)”
I think there is a fine line of being seen with mental health struggles and being infantilized, and it’s so hard to walk it because most people are trying the best they can do to make people feel supported and loved. So, if you’re helping and supporting someone who has a mental illness, know that what you’re doing is the best you can, and it’s always appreciated. I know with my family they have made mistakes, but it’s what we all learn along the way.
I think my mom has said it best, “we are fragile, fallible creatures who are not perfect, we’re only trying our best with what we know at the time.” And nobody sees the value in you more than your support system. Though, turning everyone into your support system does have immediate benefits, there are problems with being infantilized and being resented, as shown in the book, and working through that to have healthy relationships that are more mature is the way that we work to undo those things in adulthood.
Works Cited
Bellow, Saul. Dangling Man. Penguin Classics. New York: 6 September 2006.a
Burroughs, William S. Naked Lunch. Grove Press. New York: 1959.
Dazai, Osamu. No Longer Human. New Directions Publishing. 1948. Green, John. Turtles All the Way Down. Kindle Edition. New York: 2017.
Martin, Del. The Elephant Man. Your Stage Partners. 2023.
Rivkin, J., Ryan, M. (20170123). Literary Theory: An Anthology, 3rd Edition. [[VitalSource Bookshelf version]]. Retrieved from vbk://9781118718384
Simon, Paul and Garfunkel, Art. “Richard Cory”. Sound of Silence. Columbia Records, 1966. Transcript of Lyrics.

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Open to offers.
I can send you links to my eBay feedback via PM so please feel free to ask if you'd like this. :)
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Chanel:
Chanel Baume Essential in Transparent £20.00 https://imgur.com/jDbxNMZ
Hourglass:
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Ambient Strobe Lighting Blush in Euphoric Fusion £21.00 https://imgur.com/URQTSIh
Ambient Strobe Lighting Blush in Brilliant Nude £21.00 https://imgur.com/ml1Xvpt
Charlotte Tilbury: Brightening Youth Glow £25.00 https://imgur.com/qFuwIWn
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Cheek To Chic Swish & Pop Blusher in The Climax £18.00 https://imgur.com/dw62cfE
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Unisex Healthy Glow All-Year Hydrating Summer Tint Moisturiser £20.00 https://imgur.com/1Ixdp8s
Luxury Eyeshadow Palette in The Glamour Muse £25.00 https://imgur.com/UMdXoV4
Beach Stick Lip to Cheek in Las Salinas £20.00 https://imgur.com/lAtlIDo
Colour Chameleon in Champagne Diamonds – Barely used but nib seems to be more inside (never sharpened) so will need sharpening. £10.00 https://imgur.com/WAL7cwb
Eyes to Mesmerise in Veruschka £12 https://imgur.com/PN360SQ
Eyes to Mesmerise in Star Gold £12 https://imgur.com/yc9VBkj
Glowing, Pretty Skin Palette £30 https://imgur.com/RgjH84L
X Norma Parkinson Filmstar Bronze & Glow Sun Tan & Sun Light £25 https://imgur.com/LI0kzWS
X Norma Parkinson Colour of Youth Healthy, Happy Lip & Cheek Glow £20 https://imgur.com/fGh5lqO
Bronze & Blush Glow £35 https://imgur.com/FaXu1xuInstant Look in a Palette in Stoned Rose Beauty £35.00 https://imgur.com/dcULfQL
Luxury Palette in Green Lights £25 https://imgur.com/X7417qS
Luxury Palette in Pillow Talk £25 https://imgur.com/w9y1X33
Luxury Palette of Pops in Pillow Talk £25 https://imgur.com/1a6Y8By
Laura Mercier: Blush in Rose Bloom £16.00 https://imgur.com/fTPnHkO
Laura Mercier Matte Radiance Baked Powder Bronzer in Bronze-03 £18.00 https://imgur.com/X76ixeD
Laura Mercier Lip Pencil in Chestnut £10 https://imgur.com/qtnXzxB
Face Illuminator in Affection £25.00 https://imgur.com/yJ7PX0d
Face Illuminator in Devotion £25.00 https://imgur.com/HUQqd47
Laura Mercier Amaretto Swirl £10.00 https://imgur.com/PwQHTub
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Caviar Stick Eye Colour in Burnished Bronze £15.00 https://imgur.com/Sq39EtY
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Private Shadow in 01 Body Double Vinyl £20 https://imgur.com/SxtG047
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Diorshow mono in 658 Cosmopolite £15 https://imgur.com/6WzBh6V
Bobbi Brown:
Ulla Johnson Eye Palette in Minou £20.00 https://imgur.com/VZVqyYw
Lorac:
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Benefit:
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Marc Jacobs:Eye-Conic Eyeshadow Palette in Steel(etto) £30: https://imgur.com/sv3K75r
Spotlight Glow Stick £20 https://imgur.com/4lkDJ5f
Le Marc Lip Crème in 228 Infamous £10 https://imgur.com/DdU2Iy7
Burberry:Nude Radiance No.01 Fresh Glow Luminous Fluid Base £20 https://imgur.com/JrzwAYN
Fresh Glow Highlighter in White No.01 £20 https://imgur.com/AItL9Dt
NARS:Blush in Torrid £18.00 https://imgur.com/TQSEaPk
Blush in Liberte £18.00 https://imgur.com/diO7MlV
Blush in Behave £18.00 https://imgur.com/lbI813w
Cruising lipstick £8.00 https://imgur.com/6L9egoG
Rosecliff lipstick £8.00 (please be aware this one seems to smudge on the side in the tube when rolled up – see pic) https://imgur.com/xWyvOfm
Riot lip pencil £8.00 https://imgur.com/fM6ojlm
Skin Deep Palette £25 https://imgur.com/SnncRIp
Blush in Amour £18 https://imgur.com/5QaOSZK
Audacious Anna £8.00 https://imgur.com/AY8dmi3
Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in Red Square £8.00 https://imgur.com/f4H6L01
Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in Rebel £8.00 https://imgur.com/dU3PzJ1
Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in Dragon Girl £8.00 https://imgur.com/56EfMMV
Man Ray The Veil Cheek Palette £25 https://imgur.com/0GSCu0g
Paloma Contour Duo £20.00 https://imgur.com/G31JEaO
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Glam Palette £50.00 https://imgur.com/BspUx4T
Guerlain:
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Terracotta Sun Trio Bronzing and Contouring Palette in Clair – Light £30.00 https://imgur.com/wcrk5vo
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Too Faced Natural Eyes £30: https://imgur.com/c4MCJsI
Born This Way The Natural Nudes £25 https://imgur.com/s1MB6uv
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Too Faced Mini Love Flush 16-Hour Blush in Crazy in Love 2g £4.00 https://imgur.com/9tvRigE
Too Faced Mini Love Flush 16-Hour Blush in Dream Lover 2g £4.00 https://imgur.com/8q4smuT
MAC:
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Nutcracker Sweet Peach Face Compact Tutu (highlighter) and At Dusk (blush) £25.00 https://imgur.com/T8ylopU
Lip Pencil in Subculture £8.00 https://imgur.com/B2eJjgi
Dusky Rose Times Nine £15 https://imgur.com/WZqEBPL
Satin Lipstick in Faux £10 https://imgur.com/zrvLb3K
Satin Lipstick in Brave £10 https://imgur.com/WrbOnCy
Liptensity in Driftwood £12 https://imgur.com/AmTyk9N
Veluxe Pearl Eyeshadow in All That Glitters £10 https://imgur.com/tkYEVQL
Veluxe Pearl Eyeshadow in Woodwinked £10 https://imgur.com/6Ju1Xca
Nutcracker Sweet Copper Face Compact in Whisper of Gilt and Pleasure Model £20.00 https://imgur.com/p6bkpes
Clinique:01 Hefty Highlight £10 https://imgur.com/DugNJOH
Eyeshadow Duo £3.00 (please note this is more used than the other items hence price) https://imgur.com/Hr1ZrTE
Buxom:Buxom May Contain Nudity £20 https://imgur.com/doupBER
Tarte:
Double Duty Classic Courage Eye & Cheek Palette £20.00 https://imgur.com/uQc48wt
Sex Kitten Eyeshadow Palette £15.00 https://imgur.com/N6HDUW5
Tartelette Tease (please note this arrived with one shade damaged) £10 https://imgur.com/cAf77dN
Tarteist Pro To Go £15 https://imgur.com/qmOGt4W
Mermaid Kisses Mini Lipstick in Sandals £4 https://imgur.com/BKwpJjo
Amazonian Clay 12-Hour Blush in Dazzled £15 https://imgur.com/TRJZW5i
Maneater Eyeshadow Palette £12 https://imgur.com/MdqOZjg
Amazon clay eye & cheek palette, be your own tarteist £20 https://imgur.com/LoT74Va
Amazon clay eye & cheek palette, miracles of the Amazon £20 https://imgur.com/pMRQ81B
Mini Amazonian Clay Matte Waterproof Bronzer in Hotel Heiress 2.2g £5.00 https://imgur.com/jncXcvm
BeccaMineral Blush in Flowerchild £25.00 https://imgur.com/I3xk5PF
Lipstick in Sugar £12.00 https://imgur.com/4cP6zfl
Shimmering Skin Perfector Pressed Champagne Pop £18 https://imgur.com/hg81MeW
Ombre Nudes Eyeshadow Palette: £20 https://imgur.com/1o7zfx9
Kevyn AucoinThe Pure Powder Glow Blush in Dolline £10 https://imgur.com/r4zdXM5
It Cosmetics:Your Skin But Better CC+ Cream in Fair (mini 4ml) £6 https://imgur.com/qFkaQMy
Morphe:
35O Palette £10.00 https://imgur.com/guBfHVl
Milani:
Milani Naturally Chic £3.00 https://imgur.com/sm4sehq
Everyday Eyes Collection 02 Bare Necessities £3 **(**Please note one shade arrived shattered when I received it). https://imgur.com/8rHsj0P
Colour Statement Moisture Matte Lipstick in 61 Naked £3 https://imgur.com/rzfOruY
Zoeva:
Zoeva Naturally Yours Eyeshadow Palette £13.00 https://imgur.com/xRBNMKf
Caramel Melange Eyeshadow Palette £13.00 https://imgur.com/39Zivoq
Cocoa Blend Eyeshadow Palette £13.00 https://imgur.com/5ibgQGn
Violet Voss:
Holy Grail Palette £15 https://imgur.com/FkfWVnf
Urban Decay:
Naked 3 Eyeshadow Palette £25.00 https://imgur.com/XujVYyU
Single Eyeshadow in Diamond Dog £20.00 https://imgur.com/T2XoEwv
Afterglow 8-Hour Powder Blush in Fetish £16.00 https://imgur.com/cEamNe2
Afterglow 8-Hour Powder Blush in Score £16.00 https://imgur.com/WatD1SF
Lipstick in Naked £6.00 https://imgur.com/jugqlFX
24/7 Glide-On Lip Pencil in 69 £4.00 – Please note this is barely used but sharpens unstably https://imgur.com/7VgaIuo
Naked Heat Eyeshadow Palette £20.00 https://imgur.com/1gLp5Wt
Afterglow 8-Hour Powder Blush in Rapture £16 https://imgur.com/Vqfj5dy
Lancome:Star Bronzer in 03 Naturel Bronze £10 https://imgur.com/CXUH1ye
Elizabeth Arden:Eyeshadow Palette £12.00 https://imgur.com/ZlqeALh
Eyeshadow Palette Browns £12.00 https://imgur.com/f2fvWKZ
Blush and Highlighter Trio £12.00 https://imgur.com/fJ25kAQ
Elizabeth Arden Melon £8.00 https://imgur.com/fI0VFDL
Elizabeth Arden Pink Pucker £8.00 https://imgur.com/FRm9nz0
Elizabeth Arden Bold Red £8.00 https://imgur.com/hx0lbG2
Ted Baker:Eyeshadow Trio £3.00 https://imgur.com/6c67YFh
New Look:Pure Colour Eyeshadow Palette in 29 Brown Pattern £3 https://imgur.com/yFPr4us
Sleek:
Blush in Antique £3 https://imgur.com/gEMPmYh
Maybelline:Colorsenational Lip Liner in 140 Intense Pink £2.00 https://imgur.com/ZBRigDS
GOSH:
Smokey Eyes Palette in 02 Brown £3.00 https://imgur.com/pNrm7ig
BareMinerals:
Complexion Rescue in Vanilla 02 £20.00 https://imgur.com/tqDLuhH
Kat Von D:Kat Von D Shade and Light Eye Contour Palette £30.00 https://imgur.com/AVmbNPb
Physicians Formula:
Butter Bronzer £9.00 https://imgur.com/dzUmfhw
Memebox:
Blush in Lady Pink £3.00 https://imgur.com/ItSZGzt
Anastasia Beverley Hills:
Modern Renaissance https://imgur.com/jJIDmLM

So I'm in Bye Bye Birdie for the first time. There are SO many references that I feel like I had to do research to figure out. I can't believe how much I miss of the references and context. The only place I found these compiled was this text-based personal website last dated 16 years ago, and even then it's only a few (though really key ones!) and some of them don't show up in my 2024 copy - I wonder if they were pared down. Regardless, figured I'd make a context and reference list based on the copy I have!
I can't fit it all in one post, I exceed the text limit, so we'll start with Act 1 with general context stuff and the second post will be Act 2 only :)

Context

How Dated Was the Musical When Released?
Bye Bye Birdie is famously a direct reference to Elvis Presley getting drafted in 1957 and the stir it caused. But note the musical was written and published in 1958, and went on Broadway in 1960. It's like if a musical went on Broadway this year (2024) about a blonde-haired pop star named Tay-lee Quick (instead of Taylor Swift) who performed a world tour, but didn't initially book any dates in Canada, causing a massive outcry, leading to several Canadian officials and the president "Justice Troodoo" to beg her to stop there and... something else silly happens involving her, then she gets punched by a jealous girlfriend, and silliness ensues.
That is how on-the-nose this musical really is. There are many references to what would have been VERY modern events in this musical. For that reason, I'll try to give some equivalences of how the references in the musical would sound if it was written today.
Elvis' Perception in America
This extensive Wikipedia article does a great job of saying in many words that Elvis was insanely influential and deeply controversial. 1956 was a major year of stardom for Elvis -
Phone Calls
Phones are obviously a huge part of this musical! Wanted to combine all the phone references here.
Kim's Phone Number: Kim's number is, according to Rosie in Act 1, Scene 1, "Capitol 7 - 8820". In the 50s, the previous system which used 6-digit phone numbers started to be replaced by one that used an "exchange prefix" and 5 digits after. (Source) (Source) At the time, phone numbers that didn't connect to anyone were given out for shows like I Love Lucy, so that may be what happened here as well, though I don't know.
One Phone Line to Share: Kim's mother asks her to get off the phone early in the play so she can take a phone call. For a long time before cell phones, each home had a "home number" and you couldn't use it at the same time. This is why Kim's mother is asking her to finish up her call so she can call someone and eventually get a phone call as well.
Picking Kim's Number: Rosie uses a rolodex she randomly flips through to pick Kim - which would have been very standard in the 1950s.
The Operator Trying to Get Through: Calls were pushed through using real people, usually women, plugging lines into a "switchboard" to connect them manually. So when Kim's mom says the operator has been trying to get through for nearly three quarters of an hour, she's been trying to not get a busy signal when manually connecting the lines for 45 minutes! That's dedication!
Mr. MacAfee Frustrated with Long Distance Calls: Cost of international calls at this time was per-minute - so calls to New York, Chicago, Fairbanks, Alaska, and Hong Kong would have cost a pretty penny - over $100 for the first 3 minutes in a similar estimation! It sounds like Conrad and Albert didn't really offer to cover this cost, so you can see why Mr. MacAfee is so cross.
Getting Pinned/Going Steady
"Going steady" referred to, in short, being exclusive with someone. "As Time reported in 1957, "Boys and girls who go steady dance together exclusively (cutting in is frowned upon), sip their sodas, absorb their double features and spin their platters in each other's company or not at all. Steady-going girls indicate their unavailability in various ways, [like] the old-fashioned fraternity pins." (Source) It's mentioned in other sources that this could also be school pins, or rings. Something to show your commitment. One of the heads of my production described it like a "promise ring". It's definitely a firmer promise and commitment then just going out with someone, but not quite an engagement.
However, why, if this is such a sweet gesture of romantic love and commitment, would everyone be freaking out about it, and Kim's parents potentially not reacting well to "getting pinned" or "going steady"? (Kim has a line where she exclaims to her mother that she thinks her dad took the announcement "awfully well"). Truth be told, going steady in high school was actually highly discouraged by adults and especially church at the time. This article/Reddit thread sheds some light. I'll copy the first comment here by u/Gfrisse1. "It was felt that going steady would encourage the relationship to develop into one of physical intimacy, something parents wished to avoid. On the other hand, dating a wider, more diverse number of individuals would give them the experience of being exposed to a greater number of character and personality types, thereby helping to hone their mate-selection skills for later on. In the meantime, the short-term relationships were not expected to get much beyond the first- or second-date stage of intimacy. (One-night-stands, or casual hook-ups were not as common-place as they are today.)"
Cigarettes/Age
There are many references to smoking, cigarettes, and how old you should be in this play. It's complicated, but just know that in the 1950s, EVERYONE smoked. Everywhere. In the early 1950s, though, the first studies were coming out with the link to lung cancer, and tobacco companies used every trick in the book to try to squash that. It's genuinely fascinating (and terrifying) how much money and strategy was poured into this misinformation campaign. Read about it here. Anyway, what this means is in the late 1950s, it's not like most were giving up smoking, but because tobacco companies had started more explicitly advertising to minors, several states were in debate about the smoking age. It varied from 21 to 16, but just know that Kim was not considered old enough to be doing it. (Source.)) However, MANY minors did. Think of it like underaged drinking today as the best analogy. There's some specific cigarette references that will pop up in specific scenes, but just know that's the standard.
Patriotism
Fresh(ish) off of the victory of World War II, which was filled with MASSIVE pushes for increased American patriotism (to the degree that Disney even got in on it!), love for the USA was very culturally acceptable and a way to show you were a good person! It was easy to rally around (especially if you ignored the growing civil rights movement of Black people trying to achieve equality, which many white people at the time were very happy to do until they could no longer ignore it - obviously, not touched on in this musical, but significant. Several racist references have been either removed or are requested to be removed by current versions.) But that's why we hear so many classic American anthems in this play!

References by Order of Appearance (Act 1)

Almaelou Music Corporation

This is the end of Almaelou Music Corporation!

Almaelou may very well be a parody of Aldon Music, which would fit due to its major success being in the late 50s, and it's influence in music written for teen girls at the time.
Arpege

Rosie: A five-dollar raise in 1954 and a bottle of Arpege last Christmas.

Arpege is a perfume that was released in 1927 and remained the best-selling perfume of well-loved fashion line Levine for decades. (Source) Albert is quoting a commercial tagline tied to the perfume that was very well-known at the time. It continued to be used in commercials for many years. (Commercial example). It was possible to see 1/2 oz bottles at the time (Source), but Albert gave her a laughably small amount at 1/16 of an ounce. You can still buy this perfume today!
A five-dollar raise in 1954. Secretaries in metropolitan areas could earn around $75 a week. (Source) A five-dollar raise bringing that to $80 a week would, ironically, be about a 1/16 increase in earnings. Also, Rosie is pointing out in an earlier line she has put in 90 hour weeks and hasn't gotten a raise in four years.
Modern example:

Rosie: My last raise was four years ago and you got me that jewelry from Kay Jewelers once
Albert: "Every Kiss Begins with Kay", Rosie. Rosie: Not when that "Kay" is a .25 karat discontinued friendship ring!

Music Business Bum Vs. English Teacher
This is related to the prestige of being an English teacher who is helping people learn a scholarly subject vs. the "seedy" music industry.
Ugga Bugga Boo

"When you wrote Conrad's last hit 'Ugga Bugga Boo' then I knew this was it/You were thru with English forever."

Ugga Bugga Boo is a real song released 1947. It's a comedy song, written by voice acting legend and radio host Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny, Porky Pig, and many others) for his comedy radio show. I do wonder if Elvis had a song in this vein, as the Jetsons did a similar parody with an Elvis expy a few years later, but I couldn't find one.
Geoffrey ChauceWilliam Morris

"It was goodbye, Geoffrey ChauceHello, William Morris"

Geoffrey Chaucer is considered one of the greatest English writers, specifically poets, of all time. Born in the 1400s.
As for William Morris, this could be two references, possibly combining.
William Morris Agency was an incredibly famous music talent agency that would have likely been known by some audience members in the 1950s. They've represented tons of major talent. This is what I believe is the most likely reference given the song context.
However William Morris was a man also considered a legendary poet during his life, born in the 1830s. However, he also made wallpapers and textiles. After his passing, he became infinitely more famous in the public eye for his wallpaper designs than he did for his poetry. This is could be a dig at that Alfred could be great in the English world, but like Morris, his legacy will be for something "silly" instead. (Important to note that his works, both art and poetry, had great impact - and this may just be a coincidence reference, I don't know)
Bliss! Kiss! That rhymes! I wonder if anyone's ever used it before?
Many people had and have, this is a joke of him being unaware of current trends. Dean Martin had a #1 song in 1955 with this very rhyme for instance that audiences may have remembered at the time.
Dentifrice

Albert: Oh one last kiss; it gives so much bliss... what is your dentifrice! No, that's too clinical...

Basically, toothpaste. Which is, kind of, related to kissing? It could actually be a paste or powder for cleaning the teeth, though in the 50s it wouldn't have been the default way to refer to what you used it seems from my research, like in this commercial. May be a way to show off that Albert really does have an excellent English teacher level vocabulary!
A modern example may be "do you use fluoride? No, that's too clinical..."
"What's the story? Morning glory?"
This is most likely a reference to the song "What's Your Story, Morning Glory?" by jazz legend Ella Fitzgerald released in 1958, another topical reference. It's very possible Helen, the teen who says this line, would be aware of the song because Ella Fitzgerald in 1956 had released her "Ella Fitzgerald Sings the Cole Porter Song Book" album, her attempt to pull in a non-jazz audience. (Source on Ella's Discography)
"What's the tale, nightingale" is most likely an original line to match the "Morning glory" one, same with the hummingbird line.
"Go to a fancy night club and stay out after ten!"
A nightclub was different from what we think of today. Think tables and chairs, late night musical performances (not the NSFW kind), and in some of the most famous like the Copacabana night club, rubbing elbows with the rich and famous. And drinking, of course! Source on Nightclub Definition
18 in World War II

Mr. MacAfee: I am not an old man! I was 18 in World War II.

This is one that may get a bit better with time. WWII ended in 1945, but the play is in 1958 at the earliest. It's better to demonstrate with a modern example written for 2024. "I am not an old man! I was 18 when Facebook first launched." Not quite the same impact as WWII, but the timeline is similar. Essentially this is not a flex and just shows he definitely is old to a teenager.
No Smoking 'Till You're 14

Albert: Remember the Conrad Birdie Creed dear. No smoking till you're fourteen.

As mentioned in my blurb above, 14 was too young to smoke. A modern version may say "No drinking 'till you're 16" or something. Similar to the line "and stay out of the bar!" later on.
"Go down to Track 12"

Albert: Why don't you girls go down to Track 12 and I'll talk to her.

This is one of the many train tracks that must have run through this station. This station is located in New York, so it would make sense for there to be at least 12.
Wear your rubbers

"Keep your money in your inside pocket. Wear your rubbers. And eat a hot lunch..."

While "rubber" as slang for a condom definitely did exist in the 1950s, I believe it's far more likely Mae is referring to overshoes due to the context, though to be fair, I can't find a source to this being "official slang" besides casual mention in posts like these. Something tells me Mae is not randomly mentioning condoms lol.
A Plain G.I.

Albert: Proud to be a plain G.I.!

Mentioning this because it's faded away from current use and surged in usage most recently at WWII, this is just referring to being a soldier. (Source) Hence, G.I. Joe, if you're old enough to remember that.
Appealing for the Draft

Albert: And that's why he volunteered for...

Men were drafted to join the US armed forces until 1973. (Source)
Jerries

Albert: "Say Mr. Peterson," he cried eagerly, "Do you suppose I can get assigned to the front-line trenches? That way I'll be sure to get one of those dirty jerries..."

"Jerries" is slang for German soldiers and was most popular during WWII. The joke here is that WWII is over at this point - the enemies Conrad would be facing at this time would be the Vietnamese, not the Germans. When Rosie tries to correct him, he just says "whoever's dirty this time!".
2024 equivalent: "Conrad said 'Is there any way I could be placed on Seal Team 6? That way I'll be sure to get that Osama Bin Laden for sure!'" "Albert!" "...Or whoever the terrorist is this time!"
Rosie + Albert's "Origin Stories" for Conrad
Just a few references from Rosie's and Albert's stories in "Healthy Normal American Boy" that may be interesting.
Old Virginie - This may be known as a historical fact for people in Virginia, but Carry Me Back to Old Virginny was popular enough in the state of Virginia that it was the state song starting in 1940. In 1940, the version that became the state song had "Virginia" instead of "Virginny", but people watching the musical would definitely be familiar with the original version as this play was only 20 years later.
Indo-China - An eastern territory that got independence from France claim in 1954, and comprised Cambodia, Laos, and parts of Vietnam. Audiences would have been very aware of what Indochina was - according to Wikipedia, "The events of [Indochina getting independence in 1954 through the Geneva Convention and the political tensions of that between S/N Vietnam and other countries] marked the beginnings of serious United States involvement in Vietnam and the ensuing Vietnam War." (Source) Remember, that's the current war during the events of the play!
Dirty Hong Kong moon - We had a complicated relationship with Hong Kong in the 1950s-60s. Read more here. Though I'm not sure if this is meant to be a mis-insult like when Albert said "dirty Jerries".
A wire to New York

Another Reporter: I'll make sure we've got a wire to New York.

This is almost certainly setting up a telegraph communication to New York, which was still happening (though declining in popularity) by 1960. (Source)
I mean I really feel that girl

Conrad: When I sing about a tree/I really feel that tree!/When I sing about a girl,/I really feel that girl,/I mean I really feel sincere!

This isn't necessarily specific to the 50s or 60s but I think this joke gets missed because it seems so tame today. A huge part of Elvis' appeal was his explicit sex appeal at the time (in the form of - gasp! - hip thrusts!) so he's slipping in accidentally a reference to "feeling up" a girl%20for%20sexual%20pleasure) here. Yeah, that slang started in the 1930s!
Mr. MacAfee's Speech
Just know that this is a lot of great historical references, nothing specific to 1950 - 60.
Ed Sullivan
Ed Sullivan was the nationwide sensation that lead The Ed Sullivan Show, a TV program considered one of the most iconic of all time in US television history. You have to understand just how influential and huge the Ed Sullivan Show was at this time. It's genuinely difficult to think of an equivalent in 2024 - today, people get entertainment from tons of sources on the internet, TV, etc. but in 1960 there were THREE television channels. That was it. THREE. To be fair, there were many, many more radio stations that could deliver information and entertainment, but by 1960 it was a TV nation - as the Library of Congress says, "In 1950 only 9 percent of American households had a television set, but by 1960 the figure had reached 90 percent." The Ed Sullivan Show was well watched and well loved by all of the United States. (And Albert saying that they would appear on Sunday at 8:05 was right, as that's when it aired in real life!)
One reason Ed Sullivan is specifically picked is the absolute bombshell of a privilege to be a normal family on this show beamed in practically every household in the United States. But another is Elvis' relationship with the show. When Elvis finally appeared on the show in 1956, it set a record of the most-viewed TV program ever in the US. In fact, it still holds the record TODAY of having the highest share of TV viewers in all of television history in the US. No other TV program has ever had a higher percentage of people tune in vs. other stations. (I mean, that's helped by the fact that there were only 3 choices, but still!) So yeah - this was a cultural phenomenon that was easy to reference in this show!
Margo out of Shangri-La

Mrs. Peterson: She looks like Margo when they took her out of Shangri-La.

Going to take this one right from that personal website I referenced above!

In the 1937 [movie] "Lost Horizon)" [...] a group of travelers are stuck in a utopia called Shangri-La, somewhere in the Himalayas. One of the residents of Shangri-La is Maria, played by Margo), a Mexican dancer and actress. When the travelers finally escape, Maria insists on going with them. But outside the realm of Shangri-La, her youthful beauty can no longer be maintained and she reverts to her true age, causing her to die and her appearance to transform to the hideously withered, wrinkled features of someone who has lived way beyond a normal life span.

You can watch the movie free with ads here, if you're curious! Also, according to the synopsis, Maria never actually escapes Shangri-La. She just dies and "reverts to her true age". AKA looks very very very decrepit. I'm guessing this is more of an easy thing to misremember and better shorthand, though. See the face at 2 hr 3 minutes in abouts!
Suwannee River

Gloria: Mae, can you hum Suwannee River?

While this is a nice convenient copyright-free tune, it would definitely have been publicly known at the time. It had been sung at least partially by Bing Crosby, on the Honeymooners, etc. in recent years before the musical premiered. Unsure if this is what they were going for, but the original lyrics are racist - no wonder it was Mae's "favorite selection".
Ruby Keeler

(Stage direction) Gloria tap dances as Mrs. Peterson hums gaily. Sort of Ruby Keeler-ish steps with a lot of feet-slapping.

Ruby was a well known actress and dancer in the 1920s-30s (and then later after a break). Here's some footage of her dancing! Interestingly, in her early career she was cast in a musical called Bye, Bye, Bonnie. In a newspaper article review, it seems the plot wasn't very similar to Bye Bye Birdie, though it did involve someone going to jail. (Source)
The Touch System

Mrs. Peterson: I'll find you a typewriter (Exits) Albert: [TO GLORIA] Do you use the touch system? Gloria: Whenever possible.

Albert is just referring to the touch system of typing - basically, not looking at the keyboard while you type. Still relevant today, though not with typewriters, which were standard until the 1980s, so that fits here. Of course, Gloria is of course referring to, uh, something a bit more sensual. (Read: She wants to touch him and not like a friend.)
Kodak Ad

Sullivan: So remember: your surest way to the best in color slides is to insist on the new Kodak! And now, the young man you've all been waiting to see.

Just like media today, the Ed Sullivan Show certainly included ads. This included ad deals where Ed himself would promote a product, kind of like YouTubers do with "This video is sponsored by...". And, as you can guess, one of those products was Kodak cameras and camera related products. Kodak was still a huge brand at the time (there were not cell phone cameras as competition, so it was way more likely your home owned a camera or two), Kodak absolutely was sponsoring the Ed Sullivan show and had been for a few years (Source). Here's an example from the time period. What you may miss about this ad in the musical is that it's not actually advertising a camera! Cameras at the time required physical film be loaded into them, and wouldn't you know it, Kodak released a new high-speed color film in 1959! (I think this may be a coincidence, as Kodak had been selling color film for quite a bit before this) Yet another reference that's right on the nose of the current times (of the time)!
Wear it in good health

Albert: Who let that kid in here? Rosie: I did Albert. Albert: Rosie! Rosie: It's a sort of farewell present to you and Miss Rasputin. Wear it in good health.

Not invented in the 50s by any means, but this phrase really isn't used as much today I think. There's not really a deeper meaning here besides sarcasm that I can find - it's just wishing someone well. Obviously, the sarcasm is dripping here lol.
Dinah Shore

STAGE DIRECTION: ...as Mr. MacAfee throws a tremendous Dinah Shore kiss to the audience.

Dinah Shore was an actress and entertainer that had been popular for years at that point. Super interesting career if you want to give it a read. This is referencing her famous "Dinah Shore kiss" that she would give at the end of her show broadcasts and was a huge part of her brand. Here's an example!
Stay tuned for Part 2! :)

[Thumbnail🪞]
Welcome back to this write-up about a complicated artist's complicated book.
Don't be absurd, of course you have time!
Part 1 Part 2
Now that we've established what the book is about, let's take a look at The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls' rich publication and re-publication history. I promise, it's more scandalous than it sounds.

“HER SPEECH IS NOTHING, YET THE UNSHAPÈD USE OF IT DOTH MOVE THE HEARERS TO COLLECTION” (HORATIO, ACT IV SCENE 5)

As I've mentioned in the last installment, TAFWVG has been released multiple times, in multiple editions – four of them, to be precise. And I wish I was exaggerating when I say that three of those four releases have been veritable masterclasses in testing your audience's loyalty. In case you're wondering: the secret is to alter your source material in strange and unpredictable ways, while also constantly messing up on the customer service front.
Most of this installment condenses and combines these two excellent write-ups, which contain most of the receipts: TAFWVG: A History / The Bloody Crumpets: An Inconsistent History. 🔍 Anything that isn't sourced with links is in there.
It turns out there are good reasons why most fiction authors don't do real-life inserts so overtly – but in EA's case, it did make sense, and was warmly embraced by fans upon release. When the book first came out, some of these people had been familiar to the fanbase for years, frequently appearing in candid pictures on EA's blog and leaving comments on the forum; some were also involved in her music and show. Recognizing that one character's name was a pun on So-and-So's username was a nice Easter egg for veteran fans, and newcomers got to learn about fandom lore; it brought the story to life and the community closer.
One side character, for instance, was named after EA's best friend from Chicago, whom many fans had had direct interactions with: she co-ran EA's online stores during the Enchant years, and acted as admin, main moderator and EA-liaison of the forum throughout its near-decade of existence.
One crazy girl who thinks she's a pirate is 100% OC... but her description and illustrations 🪞 were explicitly modeled after pictures of Bloody Crumpet Vecona (one of EA's back-up performers), who became the first stand-in pirate character 📺 in the live show. Captain Vecona was also celebrated as the “Asylum Seamstress” 🪞🔍: most of the iconic early Opheliac costumes were her design. She had a following of her own, even prior to touring with EA, for her professional costuming work and her collaborations with German photographer Angst-im-Wald. (Shitty archive link, sorry - most of those badass photoshoots seem to have been lost to time. But if you were a European goth in the mid-2000s, search your old hard drives: I promise you, you've downloaded some of those pictures.)
Inmate “Veronica”, a cabaret girl diagnosed as a nymphomaniac, was a doppelgänger of her namesake, burlesque dancer Veronica Varlow 🪞 – the ride-or-die Crumpet, whom EA often lovingly called her “husband”, saying they had been lovers in a previous lifetime. Veronica was part of every single tour post-Opheliac release and developed a solid fanbase of her own, which she maintains to this day.
Even the brave and well-mannered talking rats (oh yeah, there's talking rats in the Asylum story) were named after EA's real-life pet rodents, who had featured in glamorous photoshoots. (Slight NSFW for sideboob.)
You get the general gimmick by now: EA turns her personal life into art, which she turns into a fictional world, which she then prompts the audience to inhabit with her. The whole Asylum concept was essentially an open invitation to self-insert parasocial fanfic: “Here's this very personal world that I've created, in which I, the artist, exist as a fictional persona, alongside all these quirky inmate characters that you've seen in my stage show, and who are avatars my real-life friends. Come on in, make it your home, and populate it with your own zany Victorian alter egos.”
And it worked, to an extent: like I've said, most fans were on board before they'd even read the book, and the Asylum became “real” in that sense.
But it can get a bit disorienting to find your place in a fantasy world, when said world keeps changing based on the author's shifting feelings about her story, her target audience, and her friends... plus, you'd love to read the book, but the darn thing still hasn't shipped.

ROUNDS 1 & 2: THE HARDCOVERS

~A MINOR ADJUSTMENT~
TAFWVG was first teased in spoken-word bonus tracks 🎤 on a 2007 EP. In spring 2008, EA started reading excerpts from her upcoming book at live shows. Early excerpts from the Asylum narrative featured a character named “Jo Hee” 📺; in the story, she is a cellist from “the Orient” (love that Victorian geography) and Emily's childhood confidante.
In real life, Lady Jo Hee, Center of Happiness, was the OG Bloody Crumpet. 📺 She had been there since from the very first Opheliac show in Chicago in 2006, accompanying EA on the electric cello – the only instrumentalist ever featured in the line-up besides EA herself.
In August 2008, Alternative Magazine ran a feature about the upcoming book.🔍, teasing some of its pages. Fans were quick to spot a very sisterly picture of EA and Jo Hee 🪞, borrowed from a fan-favorite photoshoot of the two. (An aside: this specific picture also became famous in the fandom for another reason. At some point, someone made an edit replacing Jo Hee with Amy Lee from Evanescence; for a while, it kept making the rounds in alt/goth internet circuits, casual onlookers kept getting excited about it, and Plague Rats kept having to step in and disappoint them.)
Anyway. For reasons undisclosed by either party, Jo Hee quietly left the Crumpets after that tour, never to be mentioned again.
By the time the book came out in late 2009, the character of “Jo Hee” had been renamed “Sachiko”. (I guess it didn't matter whether the one non-white character in the story was meant to be Korean or Japanese.) Jo Hee's face had been edited out of the (still clearly recognizable) photograph, and eerily replaced with Nondescript_Asian_Woman_023.jpg from Shutterstock.🪞
You'd think that the switcheroo would have raised more eyebrows, or at least some awkward chuckles, among fans of an artist whose better-known lyrics include “If I Photoshop you out of every picture, I could / Go quietly, quiet - but would that do any good?”. Yet to my knowledge, it did not. Possibly because, by the time people got around to reading the book, some fans had been waiting for their copy longer than Jo Hee had been a Crumpet.
A ROCKY RELEASE
Although the book seemed just about ready for publication at the time of those 2008 readings, the initial release was delayed by technical difficulties (some data had been lost during the editing process). And then delayed some more when, a year later, EA cancelled the US leg of a tour and slammed the door on Trisol, accusing the label owner of exploitation and embezzlement (he was allegedly selling fake tickets to her shows on a phony website). In August 2009, she signed over to The End Records, and we were back in business, baby!
Not only was The Book on its way to the presses, but the long-awaited release would coincide with a “Deluxe” re-issue of Opheliac, with new cover art and bonus tracks. For $100, you could pre-order the “Ultimate Book/Album Collection”, which included the revamped album, the book, a t-shirt, a tote bag, a recipe booklet and some bonus digital downloads, to be shipped in October. Or, for a more up-close-and-personal experience, you could purchase a VIP bundle for her upcoming shows in the fall: $50 plus ticket price would get you the book, a swag bag, and a meet-and-greet. (VIP tickets were capped at 20 slots per show; from what I gather, informal interactions with fans at the merch table were becoming overwhelming on previous tours. Again: fast-growing audience.)
Alas, due to printing issues this time, the making and shipping were soon pushed back to December. VIP ticket-holders were assured, at the start of the tour, that their copies would be shipped first as soon as the books were printed, with handwritten dedications from EA. Purchasers of the “Book/Album” bundle would receive theirs shortly thereafter. This seemed like a reasonable trade-off for a minor delay, and no one was too upset. (Well, some might have been, but at that juncture in Asylum history – for reasons that will become apparent in a later installment, when we get to EA's altercations with her fans – I guess they knew better than to get mouthy about it.)
The bundles came first... and in many cases, “bundle” was a generous term, because they arrived incomplete. When the t-shirt or tote bag weren't missing, they were printed the wrong colors. Many digital download codes had to be requested via email. The book itself was beautiful, but poorly bound, typo-ridden, and missing entire pages. (This was largely fixed in the second hardcover release.)
As far as I know, everyone who complained to the distributor got their money back – and I imagine it was a nice surprise when some items showed up, inexplicably, months after they had already been refunded. But it was still a bit of a “sad trombone” moment for many loyal fans, who had to request a refund on the Ultimate Super-Cool Preorder Exclusive Bundle to purchase the book and album separately.
As for the VIP package books, those didn't start shipping until late 2010 – a whole year after the official book release, months after less invested fans had already received their non-preordered copies. Worse: none of the books were signed, much less lovingly adorned with a personalized handwritten note as EA had promised. (And had tweeted about doing during the year-long shipping delay!) After enough fans meekly expressed their intense disappointment, EA's BFF-forum-admin mailed out signed bookplates that people could stick in their book in lieu of a personalized autograph. No real explanation was given. As far as I know, this particular let-down didn't cause a mass exodus of disappointed fans – but, in the midst of other goings-on, it certainly contributed to eroding many fans' trust in EA's word.
EA TAKES ON HOLLYWOOD
The 2011 release of the largely-identical second edition was better planned and overall uneventful, which gives me time to catch you up on contemporaneous events – like the reason EA ditched the Opheliac red and went platinum blonde. 🪞
Around that time, EA got herself a supporting role and a solo number 🎵📺 in The Devil's Carnival, Darren Lynn Bousman's psychocircus-themed movie musical. (If you're scrambling to place the name: depending on what kind of deviant you are, DLB is either the guy who directed half of the Saw movies or the guy who directed Repo! The Genetic Opera.)
If you've clicked the last link: see the bad boy greaser she's dancing with at the end of the song? That's the titular “Scorpion”, played by Marc Senter, and they were totally hitting on each other while shooting this. 📝🪞 They've been an item for twelve years now, in what appears to be a loving and mutually supportive relationship, and they seem besotted with each other. That's only marginally relevant to the story, but it's nice to know that at least one nice thing worked out in all this mess.
Back to 2011. Through her friendship with DLB and the Devil's Carnival cast (a motley crew of top-shelf B-listers 🔍 that included Bill Moseley, Paul Sorvino, the chick from Spy Kids, and the clown from Slipknot), EA also made a bunch of new industry connexions. That's how she came to decide that TAFWVG was meant to be more than a book, more than a live show: it had to become... a musical. Full company, full orchestra, big names, the works. Her 2012 album, Fight Like a Girl, was written and recorded with this project in mind, with most songs narrating events from the book and EA singing as various characters – which turns love duets into finger food for Dr. Freud. 🎵
Shortly before the album release, EA announced on Twitter that the Asylum Musical was scheduled to debut in the London West End, under the direction of Bousman, in 2014. "Casting calls to be announced soon!" (They were not.)

ROUND 3: THE AUDIOBOOK

2014 came, and brought... another TAFWG re-release announcement.
But wait – this time, it was going to be an audiobook! EA had been teasing one since before the original release, so people were quite excited. (It also sounded like a more achievable goal for the calendar year than a West End debut.) In early 2014, recording was well on its way, and the 6-CD boxset was due to ship in May.
PLEASE STAND BY, YOUR ASYLUM WILL BE PROCESSED SHORTLY
First, EA discovered “a new microphone ... that, upon testing, produced a recording of far greater beauty and expressive quality”, which naturally meant the whole thing had to be re-recorded. Two month's delay. No biggie. Our girl is a perfectionist.
But our girl also had to write, coordinate and rehearse her upcoming “Asylum Experience” – an afternoon-long interactive theater event, directed by Darren Lynn Bousman, which would be performed at five dates of the Vans Warped Tour in August. (It's not exactly the West End, but it's a start! 🔍) And then she had to prepare for the filming of the Devil's Carnival sequel in the fall. So, obviously, the July deadline was not met. When she finally gave an update in late 2014, the ETA was basically “we are ever so close, but the audiobook gets there when it gets there; feel free to ask for a refund if you're not along for the ride”.
And then she signed with a literary agent. TAFWVG was going to be made into a “real” book, that readers could purchase in stores for a normal price and request from their local library – big event! (More for EA, I think, than for her fans. By that point, the second edition could be purchased as a PDF, and I believe most people who pre-ordered the audiobook had already read the story.) But this involved tailoring the narrative to a more general audience, which meant portions of the book had to be re-written... which meant further delays.

...Besides, and let’s have a teacup of “honesty time” here, if the new Asylum becomes an internationally best-selling novel, not only can we enact more change for good, but the Asylum Musical takes over Broadway faster, the Asylum Movie takes over theatres faster, and YOU are all dressed up as rats/inmates in said movie, you guessed it, faster (“Asylum Audiobook Announcement from EA”📝)

Well, you know what they say in show business: if you can't make it in London, there's always New York.
As EA assured her fans, their patience would be rewarded with a brand new, professionally polished version of the story – and in due time, I guess, a role in the movie. (“Let's hope she doesn't find another new microphone!” 🐀)
From that point on, there seems to have been an ever-widening gap between EA's enthusiasm and fan expectations. When audiobook snippets 🎤.mp3) were released, many fans were unimpressed by the oddly flat, overproduced recording (turns out a microphone can be so good it's a problem! 🐀), which highlighted EA's stilted, uncanny diction and not-quite-transatlantic accent. That caught everyone off guard, because she didn't use to read like... that. Even die-hard apologists had to concede through gritted teeth that, tragically, it was giving William Shatner. (If you're curious, you can find more previews here 🎤📝, along with EA's captions.)
Fans weren't just getting irritated with the various delays and excuses: they were baffled, angry, and embarrassed. When EA clapped back “U know U can just get a refund, right? That is totally within your power to do” on social media, and it came out that requests for refunds had been getting ignored for weeks or months 🐀, seasoned fans were like “Yeah, that tracks.” The whole never-ending ordeal was just starting to feel silly.
All told, the audiobook took two years to complete, with little to no new music in the interim. Two years is a long time for a young-leaning audience! Fans who had preordered at the end of their sophomore year were graduating high school by the time it came out. Others who had been in the middle of undergrad were now looking for full-time jobs. People had gotten pregnant, given birth and potty trained, or had houses built from the ground up. Genuine ultra-fans of the book had had time to... presumably, read other books. (“I wonder how many people passed away waiting for this shitty audiobook to be finished?”)
When the audiobook came out, many long-time Plague Rats had defected, either lamenting the misguided decisions of their favorite artist, or just calling EA a money-grabbing fraud and a lying liar. And a number of patient and unbothered fans had, quite simply, grown out of their EA phase.
Your humble servant, for one, ordered the audiobook the week it went on sale, and stuck with that preorder through five address changes and two graduation ceremonies. Now, bear in mind: through all the ups and downs, even as the charm dispelled, my taste in music evolved, and my perception of EA herself changed, I never formally stopped considering myself a fan. (Mama didn't raise no quitter.) To this day, and to my profound embarrassment, I give enough of a shit that I'm taking the time to write this story at all, and that I was able to draft most of itfrom memory.(Mama didn't teach me how to prioritize.) Well, get this: I have never once listened to the audiobook. I remember unwrapping the signed boxset (minimal artwork, flimsy cardboard, no liner notes), thinking “this could have been an email”, telling myself I'd get around to it for old time's sake... and then I never did, because it was ten hours long, and I just couldn't force myself to care about that story anymore. I was not an isolated case.
In light of this, I apologize in advance for any potential errors in the following paragraphs; others listened so posers like me wouldn't have to 🔍, and I'm going off of their word. The new and improved edition was, indeed, a different book – in that a bunch of things that felt meaningful to fans had been either reworked or excised.
THE AUDIOBOOK EDITS
The hospital narrative had been shortened in favor of the asylum story, and the controversial “Drug / Suicide / Cutting” diaries had been scrapped. Part of the fanbase applauded this decision, but others were disappointed 🐀, as they had found the diaries to be the most (some said only) personal, authentic, and insightful chapters in the book.
Curse words, some abuse, and all mentions of abortion had also been purged. It made the book tamer, but not by much... because Emilie's age had been changed from 27 to 17. Apparently, the literary agent had suggested this to make the book more marketable to a Young Adult audience. No other biographical detail had been altered, so the main narrator was now a 17 year old girl with no parents but an established music career, who checks in by herself into a high-security adult ward, no questions asked. (I'm still perplexed by this one. Did they not expect YA readers to know how hospitals work...?)
The pirate captain, formally known by her “mass of tangled black hair”, was now... a blonde. According to EA, this was a purely aesthetic change: it made the three main Asylum girls a redhead, a blonde and a brunette, which would look better in the stage adaptation. Between the lines, it also distanced the character from its original dark-haired muse: Vecona, who had left the Crumpets in 2008 after a rumored falling-out with EA over unpaid costume work.
The minor characters based on EA's old Chicago friends had been discarded entirely. Which likely made sense for EA – she hadn't lived there in years, the friend group had drifted apart as friend groups do, and by that point, there no longer was an EA forum to administrate or comment on – but not so much for her readers. Some fans had grown fond of these fictional inmates (wasn't that the point?), and weren't too happy to see EA symbolically treat them as disposable. Others were saddened that EA would just scrap these remnants of her old life, and of what felt like simpler, happier times in the fandom. Either way, children, this is why you shouldn't get a neck tattoo of your first boyfriend's name, OR openly base the “good guys” in your career-defining book on friends you made in your early twenties.
To compensate for the loss of... most named inmate characters, Veronica was given a much more prominent role in the plot. Namely, instead of being best friends, Veronica and Emily were now... in love! Lovers! Lesbian lovers! Which naturally meant that Veronica had to die. 🔍 Besides, fans famously love it when you pull a gay ship out of thin air between your two main characters, and then kill one of them off so that the other suffers more.
One last one, because I find it especially goofy: a scrappy teddy bear named Suffer, given to Emily by the talking rats, was replaced with...a Very Large Spoon, which gets its very own number in the musical. 🎵 The rationale was that Emily could use the spoon as a weapon in the climactic uprising against the Asylum doctors. Which, fair enough... except that, prior to being a cute and anachronistic 🔍 MacGuffin in the fictional Asylum story, Suffer the Bear had been a beloved mascot🪞 from the early Opheliac live shows. Some still remembered when EA had raised HELL, even starting a #FREESUFFER campaign on Twitter, because she thought someone had stolen Suffer from the stage (it later turned out that he had been misplaced in a flight case). All that noise back in the day... and now Suffer didn't matter anymore? The nerve. “She made shirts and everything!” 🐀
All this to say, reception was lukewarm. EA hadn't performed live since 2014 and the Devil's Carnival sequel had failed to make a splash (despite decent reviews, the franchise and main collaboration fell apart before the end of the promotional tour 🔍). People were checking out. There was only one way to correct this. A true paradigm shift. A fresh start – a new theme?
Hell no. It's another edition of The Asylum for Revisionist Tortureporn Friendfictions!

ROUND 4: THE E-BOOK & THE QUEST FOR THE SPOON OF ROYALS

In 2017, about a year after the audiobook release, EA self-published a digital version of TAFWVG through Amazon. The literary agent hadn't worked out in the end: publishers were put off by how dark the book was, even after the audiobook edits. EA explained that she hadn't been comfortable with some of the alterations in the first place; she respected the agent's input and had tried to give it an honest shot, but in the end, she wanted to do it the way she wanted to do it, solo... and this was it.
EA had reverted a number of the audiobook cuts (including swear words, mentions of abortion, and the narrator's age), but kept most of the changes to the Asylum narrative – namely, the omission of Former Friends Characters, and the romance between Emily and Veronica. In the newsletter announcement, she mentions being in the process of “re-recording the few little bits of the audiobook to reflect the current text version”. Not sure where we're at on that front; it's never been brought up again, and I don't think anyone's checked. (I assume most fans had war flashbacks when they read the word “re-record”, and instantly repressed that part of the communiqué.)
The “Drug / Suicide / Cutting” diaries were still omitted in the first release of the e-book, but re-included as a coda soon after, by popular demand, under the title “Evidence of Insanity” – with fantastical “doctor's annotations” like“W14A seems to have disassociated her own identity, episodic, each lasting for a longer period of time. We suspect she will continue further in this – stronger medication is needed, schedule electroconvulsive therapy.”
A physical paperback edition was released a few months later; in anticipation of this, the e-book was a stripped-down, text-centric version of the story. (Honestly not a bad call, because the digital version from 2012 was a scanned, non-searchable, 1.3GB PDF behemoth – not super Kindle-friendly!) No elaborate backgrounds and color photographs in this edition, but the pages were still illustrated with inserts of rats, keys, teacups, and... hold on... ciphers??🪞
As always in the Asylum, history doesn't repeat itself, but it rhymes. In a throwback to the prelapsarian days of the Enchant Puzzle (remember? the one that no one ever managed to solve?), the e-book illustrations contained puzzles, which formed the master-key to... a scavenger hunt! And in keeping with tradition, the grand prize was an extravagant adornment hand-crafted by EA: the “Spoon of Royals”.🪞📝 Oh my!
Some of the puzzles are simple anagrams that can be solved for keywords. A clickable word within the adjacent text takes you to a password-protected link, which takes you through to an audio file – a song or an atmospheric instrumental that goes with that moment of the story. There are also more complex ciphers that decode into riddles. Each key depicted in the book has a number or letter engraved on it. The total number of rats in the book is apparently significant. One link takes you through to a blank page whose source code contains a list of coordinates from various bridges around the world.
Oh, it was a whole thing. When the book came out, you could send a picture of you doing EA's signature “rat claw” hand sign🪞 to request admission to a private Facebook group (the “Striped Stocking Society”) where people could help each other solve the clues and EA would occasionally pop in for a chat. There was also a series of mysterious newsletters in early 2018, culminating in a Los Angeles event where EA showed up in person to pass on extra puzzle-solving material to a handful of lucky fans (although said material raised more questions that it answered 📝).
Overall, it was a great idea! Although the fanbase was generally smaller and less active after four years without a new tour or album (and a fair amount of other drama, which we have yet to get into), the e-book puzzle did pique people's interest in purchasing yet another version of the same story.
Unfortunately, once again, EA overestimated either how intuitive her fans were, or how invested they would remain. After months of collaborative efforts across multiple platforms, a number of puzzles had been cracked 🔍, but it was still unclear how the individual anagrams and numbers and riddle-solutions all fit together as scavenger hunt clues.
EA kept up the hype for a while, but the few hints that she gave on social media only revealed yet more encryption factors without really helping fans connect the dots. One cipher remained unsolved on Instagram for days and days before EA caved in and hinted at which key to use. She did helpfully specify that if you didn't know how to read music, you'd better start learning. (...Was this a fun puzzle, or a prep school admission test?) The in-person LA event had also sown some confusion as to the rules and constraints of the game: would winning involve traveling to a physical location? That didn't seem very fair. EA had mentioned physically burying some items – but could you solve the puzzle from a distance? Is the Spoon of Royals literally just buried under the Shakespeare Bridge in Los Angeles, California?? 🐀
I'm just saying: if this had come up in 2008? People in corsets and platform boots would have been out there digging.
But this was 2018. As we've mentioned, the core of EA's active fanbase (a lot of whom had been teens and young adults when she was touring Opheliac) was fast aging out of the years when most folks have the spare time, dedication, or desire to essentially do super-involved homework out of love for their favorite singer. Uncovering new songs was a fun perk the first year – but after the new album came out in 2018, none of the passwords led to exclusive material anymore. It felt a bit lacklustre for something so labor-intensive.
(The new music itself wasn't a rallying point either. Behind the Musical was, quite literally, an intended vocal guide for the Asylum musical – so, basically a collection of demos. The sound was VERY Broadway Revival, somewhat Phantomish 🎵, in a way that's either good or bad depending on who's saying it. The violins, to fans' chagrin, sounded all-MIDI; no sign of actual instrumental recordings. EA sang all the parts herself, as she had on her previous album. I'm not saying there's no merit in a one-woman Andrew Lloyd Weber tribute. Many old fans enjoyed the new material well enough, some even really liked it – but most agreed that it just didn't hit like her earlier stuff used to, and that it felt rather unfinished.)
Unlike with the Enchant Puzzle, the prize itself was not much of an intrinsic motivation. While the Faerie Queen's Wings were a straightforward concept that evoked EA's own signature stage costumes, the Spoon of Royals was... a large spoon attached to a necklace, community-college-art-teacher style. It looked impractical both as a spoon and as a necklace, and more importantly, I'm not sure how many readers felt a deep emotional connection to the spoon in the story. The spoon that had usurped Suffer the Bear, no less!
In short: people gave up on the game because it was too hard, it came too late, and they had other things to do.
Thus, the Spoon of Royals remains unclaimed to this day, and I doubt I'll see anyone crack the puzzle in this lifetime. The Striped Stocking Society FB group was terminated in 2020, around the same time a bunch of fansites folded and EA closed her Instagram comments for the first time. By that point, both EA and her fans had bigger rats to skewer – but we have a ways to go before we reach that part of the story.
I would encourage you to give the puzzle a shot for the hell of it (in case you're a cryptography nerd and currently under house arrest or in a full-body cast) but... I just tried a bunch of the links, and the passwords don't work anymore. So I guess that's that. To quote old Bill by way of conclusion: “Much ado about nothing”.

ROUND TOO-MANY: I'LL SEE YOU ON BROADWAY OR I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL

So, what now? Well, not much.
By the late 2010s, what kept many fans semi-invested – if nothing else, because it clearly meant so much to EA herself – was the prospect of an upcoming stage musical adaptation. The way EA talked about it 📺, it was very much a “when”, not an “if”. Sure, ten years on, we were still collectively stuck in the Asylum, but it would at least be a new format – and a return to EA's main field of expertise, ie songwriting and performing. Not only did the core fanbase long for new music and new shows, but Fight Like a Girl and Behind the Musical had brought in small influxes of new fans who were very eager for any chance to see her live. So whether it was out of genuine enthusiasm for the project, or out of “let EA have her musical so we can maybe finally move on”, the fanbase was overall supportive.
Even though people still joked about the 2012 announcement of a “2014 West End debut” (seriously, what was she thinking?), EA had really buckled down in the intervening years, and it looked like the project was plausibly well underway. As in, we had more than just EA's word to go on: the involvement of other people, who did not reside in the Asylum, seemed to confirm that the musical was a thing.

[CONTINUED IN COMMENTS because Reddit is being ridiculous about the character count. I swear I was under 40,000!]