I’m going to do my best to paint the full picture, this is most definitely not a simple situation and I’ll put my hand up and say I haven’t handled a lot of things well.
First thing, I am white Anglo and my wife is British/Punjabi (born in UK, parents and upbringing Sikh). Just prior to getting engaged in England I offered an idea of us living in Australia (where I’m from) for a period so she could work abroad (a dream of hers) and she could get to know a little about my upbringing. She agreed and was excited about coming over.
2021 was when we arrived here, to summarise things: we stayed with my parents (big house we had space), we had to endure a hard lockdown, our wedding plans were thrown into chaos, my wife had a cancer scare, and then there were a myriad of family related actions/comments that were so far removed from everything she’s known that she felt rejected and disrespected by my mum in particular.
I struggled to fully understand all of this, I tried to find common ground with her and my mum, and I tried to help her to better understand my families “ways” as well as improve my mum’s communication with her. I also told my mum to reign it in, but needless to say I failed. In fact everything I seemed to do only made it worse. When we moved out we essentially went NC with my mum in particular but my family as well. I told my wife that her well-being mattered more to me and I allowed her space to heal, and when she said she needed to quit her job to focus on her mental health I supported her (emotionally and financially). I tried several attempts at trying to help her build a life that wasn’t just based around me, she wasn’t particularly receptive to it.
Then the big one that has set us further back that I’m worried we can’t come back from, I was diagnosed as practically infertile. We have both gone through our own grieving process with it and have tried a couple of rounds of IVF. Needless to say we haven’t had success. We are now preparing ourselves to leave my country to go live near her family, she needs to be close to them and their values, and I appreciate she has given life in my country a go. For a while things seemed to be better with her, she was happy and excited about going back home, but now she has told me that any time I have any interaction with my mum it triggers off all her emotions and reminds herself of the pain she’s experienced. I’m not downplaying her experiences, I know it’s been a struggle to look at my upbringing and realise it’s against so much of what she believes in.
She has consistently told me she wouldn’t stand in my way of spending time with them, in fact she encouraged it. But now she has told me every time I did that it would cause her pain, she would put it aside for me. While I appreciate that, I wish she hadn’t done that. I’m a simple guy, you say something I take it at face value.
So this comes to the current issue I’m at, she gets so upset and angry at the thought of me spending time with them (mum mainly) that she wants to have me essentially go NC with hethem. She has basically given an ultimatum of “her or me”. I hate this, but as I said earlier we essentially did this when we shifted out. We’re going to be busy with work and arranging the move, but I’m also mindful that this will be my last months with them and I hate the idea of leaving them thinking I hate them. They’re in their late 70s, I feel like I might be leaving them behind forever.
Has anyone had experience of having to go close to NC with family through the wishes of your partner? Has anyone else gone through the experience of thinking your family is perfectly and then bringing a partner in you find out they are not what you think they are?
I feel like the stakes are so high no matter what I do, it feels like either way I lose.

Tigers @ D-backs - Sat, May 18

Game Status: Game Over - Score: 8-3 Tigers

Links & Info

• MLB Gameday
• Game Graphs
• Savant Gamefeed

	Tigers Batters	AB	R	H	RBI	BB	K	LOB	AVG	OBP	SLG
1	Greene, R - LF	6	1	2	0	0	1	6	.248	.356	.473
2	Canha - DH	4	1	1	0	1	1	1	.247	.368	.425
3	Pérez, W - RF	4	1	2	4	0	0	1	.300	.373	.533
4	Carpenter, K - RF	3	0	0	0	0	2	1	.270	.321	.508
	a-Vierling - CF	1	0	0	0	1	0	2	.262	.287	.408
5	Urshela - 3B	5	1	3	1	0	0	0	.290	.300	.348
6	Keith, C - 2B	4	0	0	0	1	2	4	.190	.254	.214
7	Torkelson - 1B	5	1	1	0	0	3	3	.226	.292	.345
8	Báez, J - SS	5	2	4	1	0	1	1	.207	.236	.289
9	Kelly, C - C	4	1	2	2	0	1	1	.232	.329	.304
	Totals	41	8	15	8	3	11	20

Tigers
a-Walked for Carpenter, K in the 7th.
BATTING: 2B: Urshela 2 (4, Gallen, Gallen); Báez, J 2 (8, Gallen, Gallen); Greene, R (8, Mantiply); Kelly, C (2, Ginkel). 3B: Pérez, W 2 (4, Gallen, Mantiply). TB: Báez, J 6; Canha; Greene, R 3; Kelly, C 3; Pérez, W 6; Torkelson; Urshela 5. RBI: Báez, J (19); Kelly, C 2 (9); Pérez, W 4 (13); Urshela (7). 2-out RBI: Pérez, W 3; Kelly, C; Urshela; Báez, J. Runners left in scoring position, 2 out: Carpenter, K; Greene, R 3; Vierling; Keith, C; Báez, J. SF: Pérez, W. Team RISP: 6-for-18. Team LOB: 11.
FIELDING: PB: Kelly, C (1). DP: 2 (Báez, J; Keith, C-Báez, J-Torkelson).

	D-backs Batters	AB	R	H	RBI	BB	K	LOB	AVG	OBP	SLG
1	Carroll - CF	4	1	1	0	0	0	3	.189	.277	.260
2	Marte, K - 2B	4	1	1	1	0	2	1	.287	.333	.525
3	Pederson - DH	3	0	1	1	0	1	1	.297	.407	.535
	a-Grichuk - DH	1	1	1	0	0	0	0	.288	.319	.424
4	Walker, C - 1B	3	0	0	0	1	2	2	.255	.364	.430
5	Smith, P - RF	3	0	1	0	0	1	2	.257	.289	.429
	b-Gurriel Jr. - LF	1	0	1	1	0	0	0	.230	.280	.368
6	Suárez, E - 3B	4	0	0	0	0	2	4	.211	.280	.319
7	Moreno - C	3	0	1	0	1	2	0	.239	.346	.339
8	McCarthy - RF	3	0	0	0	1	0	2	.274	.352	.379
9	Newman - SS	4	0	1	0	0	1	2	.253	.284	.418
	Totals	33	3	8	3	3	11	17

D-backs
a-Singled for Pederson in the 8th. b-Singled for Smith, P in the 8th.
BATTING: 3B: Carroll (1, Flaherty); Marte, K (2, Flaherty). TB: Carroll 3; Grichuk; Gurriel Jr.; Marte, K 3; Moreno; Newman; Pederson; Smith, P. RBI: Gurriel Jr. (26); Marte, K (25); Pederson (10). 2-out RBI: Gurriel Jr. Runners left in scoring position, 2 out: Walker, C; Suárez, E. GIDP: Carroll. Team RISP: 2-for-11. Team LOB: 6.

Tigers Pitchers	IP	H	R	ER	BB	K	HR	P-S	ERA
Flaherty (W, 1-3)	6.0	5	2	2	2	9	0	98-61	3.79
Lange	1.0	1	0	0	1	0	0	15-5	2.70
Chafin	0.2	2	1	0	0	1	0	11-7	3.68
Brieske	1.1	0	0	0	0	1	0	17-10	0.00
Totals	9.0	8	3	2	3	11	0

D-backs Pitchers	IP	H	R	ER	BB	K	HR	P-S	ERA
Gallen (L, 5-3)	6.2	7	3	3	0	10	0	98-68	3.02
Mantiply	0.0	2	3	3	1	0	0	5-4	4.67
Martinez, Ju	0.1	1	0	0	1	0	0	16-9	0.69
Ginkel	1.0	4	2	2	0	0	0	26-18	4.91
Jarvis	1.0	1	0	0	1	1	0	25-16	4.56
Totals	9.0	15	8	8	3	11	0

Game Info
IBB: Canha (by Mantiply).
HBP: Kelly, C (by Jarvis).
Pitches-strikes: Flaherty 98-61; Lange 15-5; Chafin 11-7; Brieske 17-10; Gallen 98-68; Mantiply 5-4; Martinez, Ju 16-9; Ginkel 26-18; Jarvis 25-16.
Groundouts-flyouts: Flaherty 6-0; Lange 1-0; Chafin 1-0; Brieske 0-2; Gallen 3-5; Mantiply 0-0; Martinez, Ju 1-0; Ginkel 1-1; Jarvis 1-1.
Batters faced: Flaherty 24; Lange 4; Chafin 4; Brieske 4; Gallen 27; Mantiply 3; Martinez, Ju 3; Ginkel 7; Jarvis 6.
Inherited runners-scored: Brieske 1-0; Mantiply 1-1; Martinez, Ju 1-1.
Umpires: HP: Nate Tomlinson. 1B: Chris Segal. 2B: Larry Vanover. 3B: David Rackley.
Weather: 78 degrees, Roof Closed.
Wind: 0 mph, None.
First pitch: 5:12 PM.
T: 2:51.
Att: 35,826.
Venue: Chase Field.
May 18, 2024

Inning	Scoring Play	Score
Bottom 6	Ketel Marte triples (2) on a fly ball to left fielder Riley Greene. Corbin Carroll scores.	1-0 AZ
Bottom 6	Joc Pederson singles on a ground ball to center fielder Wenceel Pérez. Ketel Marte scores.	2-0 AZ
Top 7	Javier Báez doubles (8) on a sharp line drive to left fielder Jake McCarthy. Gio Urshela scores.	2-1 AZ
Top 7	Carson Kelly singles on a ground ball to right fielder Pavin Smith. Javier Báez scores.	2-2
Top 7	Wenceel Pérez triples (4) on a fly ball to left fielder Jake McCarthy. Carson Kelly scores. Riley Greene scores. Mark Canha scores.	5-2 DET
Top 7	Gio Urshela singles on a ground ball to shortstop Kevin Newman. Wenceel Pérez scores. Matt Vierling to 2nd.	6-2 DET
Top 8	Carson Kelly doubles (2) on a ground ball to left fielder Jake McCarthy. Spencer Torkelson scores. Javier Báez to 3rd.	7-2 DET
Top 8	Wenceel Pérez out on a sacrifice fly to left fielder Jake McCarthy. Javier Báez scores. Carson Kelly to 3rd.	8-2 DET
Bottom 8	Lourdes Gurriel Jr. singles on a ground ball to right fielder Wenceel Pérez. Randal Grichuk scores.	8-3 DET

Team	Highlight
AZ	Ketel Marte's RBI triple (00:00:28)
AZ	Joc Pederson's RBI single (00:00:14)
DET	Javier Báez's RBI double (00:00:25)
DET	Carson Kelly's game-tying single (00:00:14)
DET	Wenceel Pérez's go-ahead triple (00:00:29)
DET	Gio Urshela's RBI single (00:00:15)
DET	Carson Kelly's RBI double (00:00:15)
DET	Wenceel Pérez's sac fly (00:00:21)
AZ	Zac Gallen strikes out 10 across 6 2/3 innings (00:01:52)
AZ	Lourdes Gurriel Jr.'s RBI single (00:00:15)

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9		R	H	E	LOB
Tigers	0	0	0	0	0	0	6	2	0		8	15	0	11
D-backs	0	0	0	0	0	2	0	1	0		3	8	0	6

Decisions

• Winner: Jack Flaherty (1-3, 3.79)
• Loser: Zac Gallen (5-3, 3.02)

Division Scoreboard

CWS 1 @ NYY 6 - Final
MIN 4 @ CLE 11 - Final
OAK 3 @ KC 5 - Final
Next Tigers Game: Sun, May 19, 04:10 PM EDT @ D-backs
^{Posted: 05/18/2024 11:05:07 PM EDT}

Hi I’ve (28F) been dating my boyfriend (30M) for 6 months. The first two months were amazing we basically lived with each other. I had already found a job and was planning on moving before I met him. At this point I’m not sure I want to continue the LDR. He’s a great dude but I don’t see the reunion timeline anytime soon. I was just in a 4 year LDR with a different dude not too long ago. ADVICE PLZ should I stick it out again? Or should I cut him off for the chance of an “in person” relationship. Help me internet plz. I’m not sure what is better for me. What is your experience?

Back in January, I read a post from someone who claimed their Midjourney accounts were banned without any explanation. Several others mentioned they struggled with Midjourney’s Discord interface. This gave me the idea to build a product that offers API access and an image-generating playground.
I spent nearly a month building my website and getting it up and running. It took another month to attract my first paying customer. I was thrilled when I saw my first subscriber sign up—it was the first time I was making money through a SaaS application. Previously, I spent three years working on a product with friends, which ultimately failed. So, you can imagine my excitement.
In March and April, I continued to polish my site. However, due to Midjourney’s strict stance against using automated scripts, I lost around ten accounts, some of which were new subscriptions. It was disheartening to wake up one morning and see all my accounts banned by MJ. Despite this, I found a way to keep my site running and gradually grew my subscriber base to about 30. My AWS expenses is also quite high (around $500 USD per month due to the Elasticsearch service I used for queue system). But I thought If I continue to improve my site and grow, eventually I could break-even as I am resolve a pain issue for customers, I will succeed.
Unlike MJ, I treat my subscribers like royalty, helping them with any questions and offering refunds without question, even though my T&C has no refund policy.
Just when I thought I was on the right track, I received an email from Cooley, representing Midjourney Inc. They claimed my website violated Midjourney’s Terms of Use and infringed on their trademark. They demanded I cease and desist from using Midjourney’s services, discontinue my domain name, and provide transfer authorization keys to transfer my domains to Midjourney. They gave me five days to comply and warned that continuing to operate my website would result in legal action under the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act.
As an indie developer, I’m unsure how to handle this situation. Despite seeing many similar sites still operating (if you Google "Midjourney API"), I am a very small player compared to them. Should I follow their demands, shut down my site, and transfer my domain to them? At the same time, I’ve noticed a similar website developer making $30k MRR with an almost identical business model, and he is still running.
I know I'll face a lot of criticism from the comments, but I really, really don't want to give up at this stage.

When I first started meditating 10 years ago my method was to put myself in a trance like state and then will the spirit of the universe to flow through me, thus connecting to it. I believe the universe is a living being and we are smaller pieces of it. So I also put it out there into the universe telepathically that if it wanted to talk, I'd be listening (by relaxing my brain near the temples). I think I was contacted by NHI and earthlings who also believe they make up a part of a wider living being and so they answered as intermediaries between myself and the universe as a whole.
In the beginning I would meditate before falling asleep and after waking up and was messaged after a couple of weeks of trying. (I'll be referring to myself and others in the following by their first initial.) The first message was "M, this is your Father." I got the feeling this was a different incarnation to my actual father, one that lives on another planet, who was taking ownership of me nonetheless. At least that's the impression that I got. The message came as if a person was talking to me but the voice was skipping the ears and registering straight in the brain. It was very clear.
The second message was (spoken with an accent that sounded European), "M, this is the galactic federation of light."
I talked to them on several occasions in the first couple of years but not that often since then. I have been meditating for 10 years. I do still have visions (usually of people going about their business or meditating themselves). I think they've left me to continue to develop telepathy and other esp on my own. I think they can talk to you at will but prefer you to develop on your own until you can communicate on equal terms.
Three messages stand out, two of them spoken messages and one a visual message (the visual message came to me with my eyes closed).
The first was within a couple of months of me starting to meditate. I was pretty sure the beings I was communicating with were good guys, so I decided to extend the hand of friendship and said to them, "If there's anything you guys or the universe need just ask."
I got a reply within 15 minutes. It was, "We'll hold you to that."
The next day as I was waking up I hear, "M, this is the galactic federation of light. We need you to forgive C."
C was a woman I dated a few times that didn't end well. I don't want to get into specifics but it hurt a bit and bothered me even though it had been a while ago that I dated her. Long story short I think the galactic federation of light was telling me to move on as it was not helping my meditation practice. That's the impression that I got.
The second message that stood out happened about a year after I started meditating. I was working on a boat and the engineer, B, was in a motorcycle club back on the mainland. I think I knew a couple of people who knew him. Any way, we were clashing a bit. After I insulted him on one occasion, I was meditating in bed between work. Most of us were in bed. I had a view to the stairs that lead from the galley to the wheelhouse. B was coming down the stairs. I heard a voice say, "M, this is the galactic federation of light. He is now ready to shoot you." With that I quit and got off the boat.
The third message, the visual one, came to me a few years ago. I was meditating yet again and kind of fed up with it all. I said telepathically, "What am I doing this for." I then saw the words, "Civil war" and a nuclear explosion behind those words in my minds eye. It was very clear. I think they were telling me that if civil war broke out in a nuclear armed country it may go nuclear. Also that meditating helps somehow.
Thanks for reading.

Hello everyone. Need advice. Long post ahead, so please bear with me.
I've (f21) been in a LDR with my boyfriend (m23) for a little over six months, known each other for almost a year. We fell in love quickly, as it almost seems we were designed for each other. He's like none of my exes, and I'm like none of his. We quickly established that we have long term intentions with each other that will hopefully lead to marriage and that we'd felt this way about no one else before. I still love him.
We are both a part of a religion where it is normal to talk about sexual history and any other intimate history up front, which we did (or so I thought). Early on we had that conversation and it included sharing our sexual history, the length / major details of last relationship and breakup, whether or not we'd lived with exes or were considering marriage with / engaged to other exes at any time, things of that nature-- things that would be hurtful if found out later. Not more detailed than necessary as to provoke each other, but enough to have transparency about each other's past before continuing in the relationship.
We started "talking" about two months after he got out of a 2.5 year long relationship, and it was the only girl he was ever sexually active with. He told me this during the conversation above. Naturally, learning this was enough to provoke my RJ but I largely kept it at bay and was able to address a lot of it with myself and move on over time, without dragging him into it.
Until I began catching on to some dishonesty
A couple of months later he revealed to me that he was actually SA-d by his ex girlfriend and that most of the sex was coerced, and the times it was not coerced, he felt pressured into it. He didn't call it r*pe, but that's what it is. I was obviously horrified that he had this experience (I have, also, but felt comfortable mentioning it up front), but it also upset me because I was led to believe that he had consensual sex with this girl, and as a result I had been jealous for a very long time. So I immediately felt overwhelmed with my own guilt for ever feeling jealous, and over the weeks afterwards struggled back and forth between that guilt and the same jealousy, although I knew the jealousy was wrong. This was kept to myself. I would never expect someone to come forward about their SA immediately, and so I can't really say he did anything wrong by keeping it from me, and I wouldn't call this a "lie" like the things I'll go on to mention below. Anyway, weeks passed and I was able to move on and was just thankful he felt comfortable enough to come forward.
January. Random bout of jealousy while in person. I go through his phone while he is in bathroom and find out that he, just a couple of months prior to us dating and right before his last breakup, had been planning to move to Florida by the end of the prior year to live with his then gf who had just moved (same one who SAd him). I also found out that they'd lived together for a few months during the relationship. This was all completely contrary to what he had told me, and I was extremely heartbroken and confused that 1) He'd lie to me about it, since we established up front that this sort of thing is important to us and 2) Why he'd want to move across the country to join someone who had sexually assaulted him. Obviously, going on someone's phone isn't ideal but I likely wouldn't have found out otherwise. This fueled my distrust and insecurity. We hashed it out and he apologized with what seemed like a sincere apology, and said that there is nothing else he is hiding from me, and that it won't happen again. I did my best to believe him, and tried to get over it all. And largely did-- less due to effort and more to due forgetfulness.
A couple of months pass, and I come to visit him for the week of Valentine's Day. When it's time to leave, I missed my flight, and that following week was extremely difficult. While he had to go back to work, I had to do school, and he let me use his laptop (as I didn't expect to be there that long, and didn't bring mine). While I was working, notifications kept popping up in the corner for email, literally a couple every minute. I noticed that a lot were ads from local apartment complexes (he had never had plans to move, I thought), and let the curiosity get the best of me. I began looking through these emails and learned that he and his ex girlfriend, for 2 out of the 2.5 years, had been looking to move in together and were touring apartments regularly. They had actually signed on one and paid the down payment, and had plans to move in. I confronted him about this, and he immediately got defensive and I just lost my shit from there. He admitted to me that he had planned on keeping that a secret from me indefinitely, hoping I'd never find out because he "knew it would break my heart." My heartbreak, however, was less about the content of the lie and more about the fact that he'd lied (again). He stated another reason as him being ashamed. He did clarify that the plans to move into the apartment had fallen through, but I had never felt so betrayed in my life. We had a long conversation about it, he said that he was sorry and that there was "nothing else" he was keeping from me, and I verbally forgave him and tried to move on. I thought it was a very mature conversation, perhaps the most important we'd ever had, and it meant a lot to me. I found myself almost thankful for the conflict because it lead to such progress. My efforts to forgive failed, though. The next day while he's at work I searched his iPad and found out that after our conversation that he slandered me to a friend (someone I'd never met, but was about to be introduced to) over text and told him he was considering breaking up, conveniently leaving out that he had lied to me several times and that I wasn't actually a crazy freak. I confronted him about this, feeling somehow even more betrayed, and wondering what the hell I'd gotten myself into. We had another conversation just like the last, he said this is the last thing and that there's nothing else, apologized, and I tried with all my might to forgive him.
As you can imagine, this all makes it hard to believe anything else he's said and would say-- compliments, reassurance, normal chit chat, stories, everything. There comes a point when you go through a cycle of forgiving someone being deceived finding out repeat where it destroys your ability to trust and also to forgive, and as a consequence it's hard to forgive that person for destroying your ability to forgive. Word salad, but I don't know else to describe it. It's really sad. But this all particularly bent my mind about the SA. I don't doubt that he was SAd at all, but I would be lying if catching him in other serious lies didn't at times make me hope he wasn't lying about that, too, especially since I've been through it and take it very seriously. It's a tough thing to deal with, as I am normally conditioned to believing survivors no matter what. But what do you do if someone DOES lie about it? And how do you know? I had already shoved aside confusion as to why he'd stay in the relationship to begin with, because I understand abusers can put the abused in an impossible position that's very difficult to get out of, but learning that he had planned to live with her and HAD lived with her just exacerbated that confusion times a million.
All of this being said, we are still together and love each other. I haven't caught him lying about anything else. But I'm at a point where I swing wildly back and forth, depending on the day or hour, on whether or not I see him as the best man in the world or as the person responsible for destroying things about me. I had dealt with liars in past relationships and it really screwed me up mentally, and I spent years learning to grow a healthy capacity for trust again. So being in such a new relationship and having it happen once more has really been a slap in the face. I hate that I feel so inconsistently about my lover and don't know whether I'm the problem or him, perhaps a bit of both, and I definitely don't know what to do to move on. I doubt every compliment, every bit of reassurance, every kind word, every promise, even though all of this happened months ago. I know he's trying to repent but I can't get myself to consistently believe him, even though he probably is being sincere. Forgive the long post. And if you're willing, please help me.
All love. Thank you. -- C

Me 54m, wife 52f.
We met at a night club in the early 90's and hit it off straight away, my wife has always been beautiful and looks after herself. We had instant attraction. We went out for about 6 months then moved in together, got married 12 months after that. Married now for 26 year's. When we met she was working at at beauty Salon. I was working in the mining industry.
We moved away from the city shortly after we moved in together for my job.
Over the years we have had a very good marriage, raised 3 beautiful kids and now have a grand child on the way.
We have always been monogamous and have never cheated on each other, there was no thoughts of doing so and I thought we trusted each other.
Here is the problem.
We visited family last week back where we use to live and one night my wife and I went on a date night to a nice restaurant. During dinner I had to go to the bathroom and upon returning my wife was arguing with a man who was standing at our table.
I went straight over and pushed him away from my wife and asked what the fuck was going on. He said ask your slut wife about it.
As soon as those words came out of his mouth I reflectively punched him in the face, he turned and left quickly.
My wife was crying so I left the money on the table and we left. On the drive back to the hotel I asked my wife what the fuck was his problem and why on earth would he speak that way about you.
She said we needed to calm down first and would tell back at the room.
We got ourselves a drink and sat on the bed. She still had tears in her eyes, she said don't hate me and then told me that before we met she worked as a sex worker to pay of loans. The guy at the restaurant use to be a regular client of hers and when he saw me leave the table, approached her and propositioned her, for old times sake he said. When she rejected him he then started to verbally abuse her, that's when I returned.
I was in shock, I had no idea that she had sex for money. She could see the look on my face, she said it was before she met me and never worked as a sex worker since she met me. It was in the past but agreed it was something that she should have told me about early in our relationship. She is crying and ashamed of her self and said she is so sorry she didn't tell me.
I am at a loss. The reasonable part of me knows that past history is just that, I know she has never cheated and we have had a wonderful marriage.
Another part of me is just fucking confused and I don't know how I feel. The thought of all those men going through my now wife disgusts me.
I know I am acting different now towards her and she is also knows. I told her I just need time to process what she said but at the moment I can't touch her with all this shit going on in my brain.
What would you do ?

A Muslim man and I (White American woman, not yet reverted, but studying Islam) hooked up and had sex at my place earlier in the month (a mutual decision, clearly desired by him, who admitted to not being perfect in his faith, but “made a plan” for the sex)
All was good, we continued to communicate afterwards, both acknowledging that we wanted to get to know each other more and not just for sex, but because we genuinely liked each other.
2 weeks later, this past Tuesday, we met again and had sex again. This time was way more intense, very heavily passionate with a lot of kissing and hand holding. After, he complimented the moment, and referred to the “next time” we would meet, and encouraged that we keep communicating.
I have not heard from him since. He is reading my messages, but not responding. I am wondering if this is because of regret? Like culturally or religiously?
I really doubt it has anything to do with me personally. Our first sexual encounter was pretty standard, but the second, like I said, was way more intense. I think the hand holding and heavy kissing may have been a bit much for him.
Any ideas of what might have caused the ghosting?
TYIA

I can't stop smiling yall; we got wrapped up in a 3 hour conversation surrounding different things we were interested in. He completely respected my boundaries and treated me like any man would on a date with a woman. We made plans for future dates as well and left with a hug. We're even continuing conversation via text now that we're both home. For almost a decade I have been treated sub human by people looking to fulfill a fetish; this was such an amazing breathe of fresh air

Good morning all,
Welcome to your weekly Sunday social. This was the result of a great suggestion by one of the community. So if anyone has any suggestions then feel free to send them to us, and successful ones will have a reward with some reddit gold!
The idea behind this is to give LabourUK members a weekly thread that lets everyone have a rest from politics. This will hopefully allow everyone to get to know each other outside of our political views and discuss anything non-political. You never know, you may actually have similar interests! So to keep in the spirit of our authoritarianism, there are a few things first:

1. The subject matter is to try and stay away from politics please
   
2. Feel free to ask anything
   
3. New members are more than welcome to contribute, and this may be a chance to introduce yourself to the sub!
   
4. The normal sub rules will apply to this thread
   

So feel free to post whatever you want to moan/chat/raise, talk about your hobbies or anything you like (following rule 1 of course)!

The article will show analogies between Domain-Driven Design and mathematical modeling

Mathematical modeling

Students are introduced to mathematical modeling in a school. Roughly speaking, it is the translation of a problem from informal human language into the language of mathematics for subsequent solution.
(1) John and Bob ate three apples at dinner. John ate twice as many as Bob. How much did each eat?
(2) Let x be the number of apples that John ate Let y is the number of apples that Bob ate.
Then: (3) x + y = 3 x = 2 * y
Solving the system of linear equations:
x = 2, y = 1
(1) - problem statement in the domain area (2) - mathematical modeling (3) - mathematical model
Another example from the world of physics - we need to calculate how much fuel is needed to fly to the Moon and back. There are Newton's Laws of motion of celestial bodies, there are data on fuel, the vehicle, the mass of the Earth, the Moon, the Sun, the calculated trajectory and other information.
The whole power of the mathematical apparatus is the absence of semantics. It doesn't care whether it's counting apples or the trajectory of a rocket. It is a formalized system that operates with soulless symbols according to established rules. Arithmetic has its own rules, algebra has its own rules, Euclidean geometry has its own rules.
The achievements of the natural sciences depend on how accurately and completely they construct mathematical models for their problems. If the mass of the moon is not specified, it will be impossible to give an answer to the above problem. On the other hand, if the proposed trajectory is mathematically unattainable, physicists will have to change it.
A mathematical model is a general projection of the problem to be solved from the physics side and the math side into some "common" space.

Domain-driven design

This methodology was proposed 20 years ago by Eric Evans in his famous “big blue book”: Domain-Driven Design: Tackling Complexity in the Heart of Software
For many, DDD is when if you are, for example, making an online store, you must have Product, ShoppingCart, etc. classes, i.e., entities in the code must correspond to business entities. This is not really about DDD.
The main goal that Eric Evans set when creating his methodology was to enable you to create a program architecture in such a way that you can satisfy the client's requirements with maximum probability and build a clear, maintainable and extensible system. Get a quality and successful program product.

Comparison of design methods

DDD is mainly aimed at complex non-typical tasks with vague/varying requirements, to minimize the risks of spending a lot of time and money and not getting something usable in the end.
In cascade development (waterfall), the client gives clear requirements to the business analyst, the system architecture is built according to them, and programmers make code according to it.
In agile development (agile, XP, iterative) the client gives general requirements, a prototype of the system architecture is built on them, programmers make code on it, the system is shown to the client, corrections are made, the next version is released, etc. in a circle.
In case of DDD the joint work between domain area specialists and programmers goes all the time of development. The link between them is the domain model and ubiquitous language. For the first few chapters of the book, Eric Evans talks only about them and their importance.
The main point of the domain model is to be a constant projection of the problem being solved from the client side and the developer side into some common space. Everything in the domain model should be reflected in the program architecture. And vice versa - if a programmer discovers that some business rule cannot be applied or it is better to do it differently, he is obliged to open a discussion about it and initiate changes in the domain model, without making attempts to simply code it in “the right way”.
The domain model itself lacks semantics, it is written using UML diagrams and formal documentation. Semantics is given to it by a ubiquitous language in which the whole team (including the client) communicates. Each term of the domain model must be understood equally by all participants.

Parallels

Analogy to the space flight example above: - math model = domain model - physics = ubiquitous language - mathematical apparatus = software development - mathematical modeling = domain model development process
From this we can draw the corollary that just as in the first case, mathematicians' deviation from the supplied mathematical model will easily lead to wrong/unnecessary results, so in the second case, developers' deviation from the domain model can lead to failure in the end.

In his book, Eric Evans gives the following real-life example. Internet Explorer used to save “Favorites” as files with names corresponding to page names. When the user tried to specify his name, he sometimes got an error “Invalid file name”, although it was not obvious what files had to do with it. This was because the developers were using their own model and the client wanted something different.

Summary

Thus, there is a strong idea of mathematical modeling behind DDD

Hey, I'm Odin and I've been rping for around two years. I would really love to do a critical role rp. I'm fine with most every ship, but I really want to do a percildan or a widowmauk rp. This would be a strictly Cc X Cc rp just to make sure that's very clear.
I'm caught up on all of the material from the current car, and I'm very desperate. The brain rot is very bad.
Another thing that I would like to be known for is that I'd prefer to not be left without a reply for days on end. I understand that life gets in the way but please tell me first before so I know that I won't be waiting for anything. Communication is very important to me.
I have two plots that we can do for Percildan. I'd be willing to discuss another idea for either ship if you're interested but those are a brief idea about what I want to do. If you want to change something or do something new I am open to it. I'm just not listing it here so that i spoil anything else. I will now give a very brief idea about what the plots might look like. By the way this contains spoilers for both campaign 1, tLovm
The first idea is for percildan: It's a simple switch between Cassandra and Percy, where Cassandra is apart of Vox Machina and Percy is with the Briarwoods, this would take place during the Briarwood arc. The second one is a what if, what if Percy actually died instead of Vex
Also, I'm not sure if this will work, but if you were on mascot and did an rp with someone named 000din about percildan, then please hit me up. I miss you.

So this is a relatively new pc about 2 months old, i was playing borderlands 3 the other night and after entirely to long of playing the game (8hours) the game crashed with a fatal error. I validated the files on steam and it came back as the “corrupt update files” error.
After that all my games seemed to fatal error crash and have corrupted files, so I assumed it was a problem with that specific drive (4tb SSD plugged into my 2nd M.2 slot I have my games download on).
I deleted all my games off that drive and redownloaded one of them on my built in hard drive and it crashes all the time (not with fatal error) and when I validate the game files it doesn’t error. However when I check the content log in the steam folder it shows there is a corrupt file.
Now I’m worried I have either a virus or corrupt system files, so I went to open system file checker and for some reason it doesn’t open, also when I run the CHKDSK command it doesn’t work. I tried scanning the entire pc for viruses and it came up with nothing.
I checked all my drivers, everything’s up to date, and I’m at a loss. The pc hasn’t suffered any falls or breaks, and I checked the hardware and made sure everything is plugged in and working and I still can’t figure out why things are corrupting.
To me it would make sense that the secondary drive I bought may be failing but things are corrupting on the built in to from what I can see. So far I can only tell that games are corrupting, I don’t know if anything else is, cause the system scans aren’t working.
Sorry I know it’s a lot, if anyone has any ideas please let me know. Also I have a RTX 4060Ti and an AMD Ryzen 7 7700 with 64gb of ram if specs would help for whatever reason.

So I (33M) proposed to my fiancé (30F) a few months ago, and we’ve been planning the wedding ever since. She wants a traditional Catholic wedding, but I suggested something that may be a little abstract. I suggested having our wedding on a boat. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve been obsessed with aquatic life, and I thought the next best thing to having a scuba diving wedding was one that involved being on a boat! My wife was heavily against this idea. When I asked why, she said that she is “deathly afraid of water, especially deep water, and would not want to be at risk of drowning if she fell in the water due to being in a heavy dress." I thought this was crazy of her to say, because clearly, if we were on a boat, there would be lifesavers and trained professionals that could save anyone that fell over. I asked if the cost was the true reason why she did not want to do my concept, and she said no, but I doubt that. We are both in graduate school and are in a decent amount of debt, but we have family members willing to contribute to the cost. Additionally, I have a family member willing to donate their boat for the wedding. The argument got pretty heated, with her calling me “ignorant” and saying that I’ve known about her fear of water for years and never listened, but this is the first time I’ve heard of it. She stormed off, and the argument ended there.
I am a deep believer in not letting fear guide your decisions, so when she said her only objection was being scared, I thought of a way to make her less scared. That night, while she was asleep, I ordered a water bed on Amazon, got two-day shipping, and set the delivery time to when I knew my wife would be at work. I called up a few friends to ask if they were free, and I planned to have everyone meet up to help me remove the old mattress and replace it with the new one. When it finally got delivered, I started working on removing the mattress.
Essentially, we were done by late afternoon, and I had enough time to cook dinner and get ready before my fiancé got home. We had a good night, and everything was going fine until she came to get into bed. I made sure to wash the sheets and covers and remake the bed so everything looked identical. When she got in, she said, “What the fuck is this?” so I told her what I had done and why. I just did it to make her less sensitive to the feeling of rocking in water! She started yelling at me, telling me that I never respected her decisions and that she wasn’t sleeping in our bed tonight, and locked herself in the guest room. The next morning, when I got ready to go to work, she still hadn’t left the room, and I assumed that that night she would be willing to talk. However, when I got home, the door was still closed and her shoes were unmoved. I texted her a few times, asking her to talk, before deciding just to go to sleep. When I sat on the bed, I sank incredibly deep. This was because she POPPED HOLES INTO THE WATER BED. It leaked everywhere, causing the carpet underneath to be SOAKING WET and damaged. I went to try the knob on the door to tell her to come out so we could talk, but the door was unlocked. The room was empty, and when I looked at the bed, there was a note stating she went to her parent’s house for a few days to think about this and us.
I told my friends this, and almost everyone is saying I am an asshole for doing this, but I don’t think I am. I just wanted my wife to see that a boat wedding is not that scary. AITA?

I’m 2 weeks PP and just wanted to share my little experience. Started laboring on my due date 40 weeks exact. I thought little girl was going to come on time, but she decided fashionably late would make more of a statement.
Labored through the night woke up still didn’t feel like I was there, went to the gym and contractions evened to every 5 minutes 1 minute long, call the midwives and I’m only 2cm 70% effaced. Okay no big deal! I keep going and try to sleep that night. Middle of the night I’m waking up every 3 minutes for a contraction. I call my midwives and I’m still at 2 or 3 cm and maybe slightly more effaced. So I take some Benadryl and try to get what sleep I can.
Next day the contractions have lessened and become more infrequent. I’m doing everything I can to get them to pick back up, stretches, side stepping up and down my apartment stairs, resting, anything I can do I’m trying. The contractions end up picking up a bit before bed but not enough for me to feel the need to call the midwives. That night I try and sleep and my contractions start going hard. Breathing through is getting tough. I have to get in the bath to deal with the pain. The contractions are every 3 minutes and more than a minute long. I’m feeling like I’m going to mentally break if this doesn’t happen soon. Call the midwives and I’m only at 5 cm about 90% effaced. I feel a little better hearing I’m at 5cm, so I try to go back to sleep with some medication that’s suppose to be like a stronger Benadryl. I still wasn’t able to sleep through the contractions and they’re climbing in intensity. I’m going through wave after wave with hardly any break in between. Finally my water breaks!
After that the contractions got even more intense (I seriously have no idea how they possibly could have but they did). I’m making noises I’ve never heard come out of my body and literally frozen in place rolling through contractions. My partner calls the midwives and they say to try and go back to sleep (wtf!?!? how!?!?) and call them again in 30 minutes to and hour if things pick up any more. I got back in the bath and it did not help (I have no idea how I was making it through these contractions I’m glad we have thick walls because my neighbors probably would have called the police otherwise) My partner calls the midwives again and is like…you need to get here now. It takes them an hour (!) and I for sure thought I was about to birth the baby on my own. I was also super scared they were going to tell me I was only at 6 or 7cm, but I was at about 9cm (my midwives did say I had a lip on my cervix that was making it hard for baby to come all the way down). My partner and mom fill up my birthing tub and now the midwives are here I get to try to start pushing.
Pushing feels way different than I thought it would. It was like once I was mentally ready my body just started doing it itself (really does feel like when you puke and it’s just involuntary). When I started helping my body push, I was able to get my girl out in about 5-6 pushes. Also nobody really talks about how you have to wait for a contraction to really push so you don’t hurt yourself. I was just on my knees with her head out waiting for what felt like forever for the next time to push. I got her out on the next one though because I was not about to wait like that again. I think pushing was the easiest part of labor. Once I finally got there I had her out in 20 minutes. It took 60+ hours and I definitely understand why most women get epidurals but baby girl was so worth it either way. Her dad is a tough I don’t cry kind of guy and he sobbed when he saw her. It’s crazy how the world just melts away once your baby is in your arms.
That’s it sorry this was so long! I just wanted to be able to share and also have something to remember everything. Thanks for reading :)

going to keep vague as possible, as i don’t want people getting mad for sharing my opinion lol. probably going to be long my apologies.
so basically my sisters pregnant again. which isn’t necessarily bad but i don’t think it’s the best idea. at the end of the day it’s not my life she’s an adult and can make her own choices so i don’t really care what she does. i’m just very wary on how kids grow up (i came from a great family, but my parents weren’t very emotionally available it was more financially more on that later) im not going around being like get rid of it to her and i get kids are a touchy subject. she’s my sister and i love her, of course im willing to help and all that i just feel like she’s doing stuff she doesn’t have to be if that makes sense.
one of my other siblings got mad at me the other day when we were talking abt our sisters situation and i gave my opinion to them again. i was told i should keep my opinion to myself and just be happy for them.
i just don’t think financially and mentally it’s the best for them or the kids but this is my opinion that i shared privately with parents and other siblings not involved. she’s got a kid already, and her situation has improved since having her first child (very proud of her for being better for her kid) but not to the point where i think it’s smart to have more. love that she’s in a place where she thinks it’ll be great and i love that she’s found someone and all that truly am so happy for her. i just feel she’s so rushing when waiting would be such a better choice. but here’s why i think waiting would be better.
her and her partner maybe make 100k together which by all means is not bad at all. her partner makes most of it, so another kid means either she stays home full time and partner works more or they both work and pay for childcare which makes no sense with the price of that these days. they do have debt. along with the fact that they have a roommate (i think the roommate is more dependant on them then they are on the roommate but still). the roommate makes it literally 10x worse. their house is AWFUL it’s full of pets and the three adults in the house do not do laundry and the roommate keeps bringing in more animals. unfortunately from what i’ve heard they also don’t take the best care of the animals, i’ve heard they have cats and they rarely empty the litter boxes. leading to overflowing boxes. dishes pile up and all that (i personally have not seen the house in person as im a neat freak but i’ve seen it in the background on facetime and the like). that scares me as my current nephew/niece is a toddler and could easily ingest something they shouldn’t.
they also haven’t really left the party stage, again it’s gotten better. but any chance for a festival or concert and u bet they’re going (not knocking them for having fun but priorities) and it’s not like they live super close to help (family) so they either have to get a sitter as the roommate will go with them or (this has happened A LOT used to happen more but still) a post will go up asking if anyone on their socials will be able to take care of my nephew/niece for the day/night. which of course it’s not like they’d have a stranger watch the kid but that just feels so irresponsible to me. i get spending the money ahead of time and maybe plans changing w the babysitter or whatever but still. UR ASKING SOCIAL MEDIA TO WATCH UR KID. gotta do what u gotta do i guess but again for a concert? really. along with the parties comes drugs which scares me as our family has bad history with it. and so does she, she has a history of addiction so i don’t think her still doing that is good even if she’s dialled it back.
don’t get me wrong i know my sister loves her kid and would do everything she could to give them the world and keep them safe. i just can’t stop thinking about, as she stated to me “i love them but baby name wasn’t as worth it as i thought it’d be”. drunk off her rocker less than 5 months ago(child was home with family).
again im not saying any of this to her, this is just conversation between family that still lives at home and everytime we talk about her situation none of them really care. a lot of this is in my head stuff. im just worried for my nieces and nephews. as i know how much childhood stuff can affect kids myself.
going back to me again i grew up in honestly a great house. my parents weren’t perfect but they tried. my dads high functioning autistic and would work ALL THE TIME so we grew up pretty much with a single mom (they didn’t divorce just always working) who drank at least 2-3 bottles of wine a week. she did everything she could and protected us and all that but she had 3 kids each 2 years apart that’s a lot to deal with alone (we also moved a lot which didn’t help her). so she wasn’t the most calm or patient taking care of 3 infants by herself. our house was lovely but again three kids so not the cleanest most of the time etc etc etc. again i love my parents i know they did the absolute best they could and they love and care for us all deeply but it effected all of us. i have countless stories of me going to the top of the stairs during arguments and stuff like that (my dads not abusive but they’d yell a lot especially as kids to us and each other) i know we all have trauma (even if one doesn’t wanna admit it lol) and we should all probably be in therapy (tried bringing that up and was told “no need for outsider perspectives”).
a lot of stuff happened to us that messed with us and it seems my sisters repeating the cycle which just makes me sad. i know there no perfect time to have kids and i love that she’s doing better now that she’s got one, but just seeing them struggle as much already with the one they have and then making more seems so silly to me. don’t get me wrong i think the first kid was a great idea. yes they’re struggling but they can make due with the one. physically, i don’t think they can do more than the one they’ve got. cause as great of a job as they’re doing with it (they do try, like it’s clear my niece/ nephew is loved by their parents) but everyone has limits right and again the energy for just the one is a lot for them. not even to mention financials. again not my circus not my monkeys it’s not like it really effects me so i don’t care that much. im not losing sleep over it yk. it just saddens me to see all the struggle that could have been avoided on the parent side (my sister) and the kids. had they just taken another year or two let my nephew/niece get a bit older and them gain more parenting experience, get a house by themselves instead of renting with the roommate, grow up a little chore wise and maybe even pay the debt off so they can focus on the kids.
again im not saying any of this to her just sharing with others in the family as they’re also talking about all of her other struggles. i wasn’t saying i won’t be there to help or anything like that. just threw me off that me saying “do they really think having the seconds the best decision right now?” was taken like that by my family and i wanted to see what others think. i know their kids will be loved but it takes more than that to raise a kid, im just worried that everyone involved is not going to have the best shot because its rushed.
AITHA for thinking waiting woulda been smarter for both the adults and kids in this situation and voicing that opinion in a private setting?

Does anyone know if there exists an app/website that doesn't require a specific destination? I just want to be able to input a starting point and a timeframe, and for it to make route recommendations.
When we were younger, my wife and I would just take off on road trips with no destination in mind. Just drive randomly and end up back at home a week or so later. With few responsibilities, we could be very flexible with our return date.
We've got an anniversary coming up, and with my mother-in-law coming over to watch the kids we want to do this again (for the first time in about 10 years). But with kids and career and whatnot, we've got very strict time boundaries. And neither of us are naturally "planners".
So I was wondering if there was a way to generally map out how far you can get from a given location with a set amount of time, it would help us "plan" while still feeling spontaneous. Does such a thing exist?

My husband works 12 hours at 3 shift. He’s on a panema but also works overtime everyday for financial reasons. We have 3 kids, 2 of which are not yet at school and I am the primary caregiver during the day for them. He generally works about 80-90 hours a week. When he is off he sleeps until 2 or 3pm and the time we do have it’s spent joint with the kids. We have no family near and very little same aged friends who we could swap babysitting with. Babysitters are not really an option where we are. So we get ZERO date night opportunities unless it’s the 2 times a year my mom comes into town. Between the both of us, we’re both exhausted and overwhelmed. But it has caused ZERO opportunity of time for intimacy or even compassion for one another’s feelings. How are people in marriages with shift work making this work. I love my husband. I love my family. But I feel like I’m slowly watching my marriage unwind while no changes are being made. I keep telling myself this is just temporary. But that is still another 4 years away until all the kids are school aged and I can have more time for myself and my home. Please help. I have tried marriage counseling before. But I honestly thought it was ridiculous because people who aren’t in shift work have no idea how to give advice for it.

Coming here hoping to get some helpful advice, or find out if anyone else’s kid did/does this and it’s normal and not something more alarming.
We have a recently-turned 3 girl. Less than a year ago she started to exhibit the same odd reactionary behavior. Whenever my husband and I accidentally hurt ourselves, regardless of if we accidentally did (ex. Stub our toe, hit our head on something) it, or let’s say when we’re horsing around with 3F, and she accidentally hurts us, she will pause for a few moments, start hysterical crying, and claim she has a boo-boo.
The first time or two, we didn’t worry too much about it because we thought she may be trying to imitate us. Like when kids imitate us when learning the world around them. Then, it kept happening.
We thought it was an attention thing. That the hurt person was getting more attention than her in the moment. So we would try and ignore it or not bring excess attention to her when she’d do that. That didn’t help and we don’t think that’s it.
Then we did the opposite. We would acknowledge her claimed injury while explaining it’s ok if someone gets hurt. If mommy and daddy aren’t upset outside of saying “OUCH!” Or “yeow! That smarts” we’re ok. She doesn’t have to get upset. That’s did not work.
For example, today, when she accidentally pulled my hair I went “Ouch!” (It took me my surprise). Important to note I did NOT say ouch like yelling / reprimand directed at her. It was just a sudden, undirected, “OUCH!” And wasn’t even looking at her but straight ahead. Then looked at her I said “it’s ok Peanut you didn’t mean too, mommy knows that. I love you and know it was an accident.” Then hugged her. I did this because I was trying to prevent what I knew would happen. Didn’t work. She gave it a pause, lost her mind sobbing, pointing to her mouth claiming she had a boo boo.
Does anyone else’s kid do something similar? Does anyone have suggestions on how to get her to stop doing this? It really comes across as early one-upping behavior, but we don’t think that’s it. We’re at a total loss. Open to suggestions. We feel we’ve exhausted all possible ideas on how to handle, and opening up to a forum.

I always see demo deals in NJ/NY area but not down south in and around Florida.