This will be a rant of my story with hytale, TL;DR at the bottom
okay, so I used to be like, the single biggest hytale fan on the fucking planet, look at my username lol, like i lost a friend (i wasnt very close but still) years ago partly bc i was too annoying about the game lmao, and its still not out yet. I rewatched the trailer dozens of times, i listened to Slamma's music and "upcoming" mod music, i watched all the Kweebec Corner and some of CanadianFlash's theory videos and such about it, I joined KC's discord and read all the blogposts, I based my whole online presence on it, I even started conceptualizing a fanfiction which turned into just an original story. I know this was unhealthy lmao, i was young and that was only for like a year or something then like on and off until now, mainly because of the story lol. Even to this day i still watch KC sometimes to get the updates, but can i tell you am i disappointed, its like a revelation coming to me now.
Anyways, some backstory is that Hytale originally sparked my interest after watching Logdotzip's reaction to it in like 2018 (6 years ago!! what!!), and it was because it looked like my most ideal game ever, like I was into open-world shit, I loved terraria, and i raved about how good 1.13 and stuff was going to be for Minecraft (also because Logdotzip made weird videos about how Emerald Armor was coming in 1.13 lol), so it just looked like it was going to be a better minecraft, or a 3d terraria! Anyways as time went on (still very very early on), it seemed like they were dedicated on providing for the people yk, making modding accessible inside/ as a part of the game, communicating frequently and consistently with the community, and actually managing their time and shit (as we've come to see is not the case at all anymore), everything to be in dialogue with the players to make the game for them. And plus there was the modding thing! which i wanted to be a game developer when i grew up then, so i thought it'd be great to practice on Hytale, the upcoming game with accessible and user-friendly modding capabilities! but its still not out yet.
After like 2021 they ended the blogposts and shifted to postcards and, not having twitter, I became less into it, and i very much became less annoying about it, but I was still hopeful, I believed it was coming out last year and I decided to put it away until it came out. of course, its still not out yet. The Riot thing didn't even really phase me as much as it did some others worried about microtransactions and corporatism and stuff, in fact it gave me hope that it was going to come sooner and better, especially as they were taking their time with the engine to make it better for modded etc.. (I was still a tinyy bit bitter abt the engine thing because it looked like they had a working version of my ideal game, and there wasnt even talks of a beta). As the years have gone on, and especially recently, hypixels issues with communication have become more and more apparent, part of the reasons i loved the game in the first place. Even to like january this year, i excused their corporate-speak, excuses, and lack of community engagement because they were reworking the whole thing, it would be boring hearing those updates, right?, and they had the giant Q&A on twitter! I even almost made a twitte x account just to respond to the q&a even with my hatred of Musk and x lol.
this school year ive had a lot of issues with maintaining my friendships and ive gotten more politically in-tune, especially with the genocide in Gaza, so its kinda been a depressive spiral for me, and a few months ago I hit a low point, so i tried to bounce back and started getting into and playing the Wakfu MMO, and I feel like my story with Wakfu is very similar to my story with Hytale. basically Ive known and watched the Wakfu tv show since i was really young, in fact it inspired some of the ideas in my hyatle fanfic idea when it became more of just an original, and it was still one of my top favorite tv shows last year, the worldbuilding and environment was so visually appealing and cozy and i remember wanting to just live in that world when i was young, similar to how i obsessed over how Hytale was my ideal game, and Ive known about the MMOs for about a year now. so anyways, when I hit that low point, i just wanted to escape, and i, like i did for hytale, based a lot of what i did online from Wakfu, my tumblr and new youtube channel banner is a wakfu concept art lol, and the MMO aspect felt very community-oriented, and i met a few friends from it too. If you don't know, Ankama, the company that made Wakfu, is notorious for being terrible at communication with its players, if your email isn't verified for some reason when making an account they want you to contact support, but its actually easier just to make a different email because they take years to respond sometimes. Earlier, i chalked it down to "the company is bad, but the game/ show is good", but now even the new content is becoming bad, the design changes from season 1-2 and 3-4 of wakfu's show is terrible and gets rid of any of the reasons why the environments and towns felt so appealing, and ankama's new MMO Waven follows that same bland design, and the writing on all their content contradicts itself on every point now, so i cant even say their game/ shows are good anymore. Though, if you have the time, wakfu season 1 (and 2 at parts), have one of the best villains in television ive seen. Now I can't even enjoy the cozy aesthetic of it without seeing a new thing to take issue with. Anyways, to summarize, with Wakfu, I went from idealizing and obsessing over it for the vibes and supposed community-orientation and basing my online presence (somewhat) on it, to realizing the apparent lack of communication Ankama has, to seeing flaws in the content they make overall.
Anyways, I brought up Wakfu and Ankama (it was like a whole post in itself omg) because I think it really helped me see Hypixel's issues now. Just earlier today, I was reading some of the F2P vs P2P posts on this sub, and originally, and since i watched the trailer all the way back in 2018, I've been staunchly in the F2P crowd, because I knew, or assumed, that Hypixel would be so community oriented, have their modding tools so integrated and accessible, that F2P would be fine because they wouldnt monetize like the others in my ideal game, right?? But now that I saw the "live free-to-play Game-as-a-Service" thing, and knowing their with a big company and their history of being uncommunicative, I'm fearful its going to be like Roblox, a big monetized and monopolized mobile-game mod mess, and/or like Ankama, with no communication and no community, or theyre going to have things locked behind paywalls, etc.. At this point, the things I liked about the game aside from the visuals, the accessibility, communication, and community engagement, Hypixel have fucked up on all of them, and I don't know if the actual game will be any good anymore because of it, or any sort of revolutionary with things like Vintage Story having been released or Godot being an actual good game engine, etc..
In conclusion, i dont think i will be able to appreciate Hytale anymore
TL;DR: I used to idealize hytale because it looked like it would be my ideal game, open world, beautiful graphics, accessible modding, etc.., and i liked it for 3 main reasons, vibes, community engagement/ accessibility, and dev-player dialogue. After having a similar experience with Wakfu and over the course of the development of hytale, ive realized the apparent lack of dialogue, and seeing the F2P Game-as-a-Service update, the lack of accessibility comes up with very possible paywalls and monetization, being inconsistent with the "free integrated modding and character customization," and thus the lack of vibes, as the monetization will very much get in the way of my enjoyment and experience with the game, and I don't think I'll be able to appreciate it the same ever again.

I liked this guy since I was a freshman and he was a sophomore. We met one day after school because my neighbors and I missed the bus home and he was friends with one of them. He said he liked my skeleton earrings and told me we were matching because he had a bracelet with a little skull on it. I had him for art class for the past three years and I always told my friends about him. Then towards the end of freshman year two of my friends told me they liked him too, I’d never liked anyone like I did him. He was the sweetest boy I’d ever met, he was so funny and nice to me. But I love my friends too much to ever let a boy get between us so I distanced myself from him beginning sophomore year. My other two friends who have feelings for him have gotten much closer to him now and I feel upset with myself for distancing myself so much, I still have notes he gave me from Valentine’s Day when he attempted to bake me strawberry cookies because he knew they were my favorite. (A little burnt but he gave me a brownie too). Im a junior now and he’s a Senior about to graduate and with just 3 days of school left I feel like I’ll never be able to tell him how I felt, I’m too scared to risk any friendship we may have right now. It’s such a bittersweet feeling to see him leave but we spent much time together because of art, we went to competitions together, stayed afterschool working on our projects, and went on this photography field trip where we were supposed to photograph birds but we just ended up taking pictures or each other. He’ll always hold a special place in my heart even if I’ll never know if he felt the same way, maybe fate will bring us together again one day.

So, for some context: I've (26nb) been in a relationship with my partner (44m) for about 2 and a half years. I was struggling pretty hard with drinking when we became involved, but I was extremely upfront about that, the extent to which it affected me, and that it may be difficult to have a relationship for that reason. He decided he wanted to date me anyway, but part of the strain we're experiencing is because though I've become far more sober than I was, I still struggle with it. I accept that part of our conflict as my responsibility, and am doing my best to work on it (trying to find a therapist I click with, attending some online meetings, trying to add structure to my life where I can, etc). That's not really why I'm writing this.
TLDR; I'm realizing I've lost a lot of my identity in this relationship, that it revolves pretty heavily around my partner's comfort, and that there's a pretty jarring lack of reciprocity in our relationship in a lot of ways (enumerated in the following novel, sorry this is so long).
I feel like our conversations are often one-sided, or there's not room for me to have feelings that aren't accommodating to him. Many of our conversations are retellings of my partners' run ins with famous musicians and past opportunities to be a career musician, successful pranks he pulled as a teenager, and listening to his old projects. That never used to bother me; now, I often feel like a receptacle for everything that feeds his ego. If I repeat a story, he tells me he's heard that like twenty times before, or sometimes, "why would you tell me that" if it's a story related to addiction (he has also experienced addiction, and I let him talk about that without judgement). I don't make him feel less than for sharing the same things he has already or for sharing difficult experiences, and I don't understand why he can't offer me the same.
I don't think he really knows a lot of sides of me that I view as integral to who I am. I realized recently, that though I was in art school before we met, was a prolific songwriter and poet, he hasn't expressed interest in seeing any of my art. I think he heard maybe one of my songs when we first started hanging out, and never expressed interest in what I was working on or the things I've made like I do for him. Since we've been dating, I've maybe written one poem, and stopped making art and music; I think that's partially to do with being very depressed in sobriety. It used to be such an integral part of my life and identity. His disinterest didn't really hit me until he reacted skeptically when I expressed interest in going back to school to be a graphic designer a couple of days ago. He asked if I even "had design experience" when I've completed three years of a fine arts degree and used to spend a lot of my free time illustrating and making prints. Also, regardless, why would you react so nastily to something your partner aspires to?
Lately, I've noticed that he often checks out when I start bringing up something he didn't bring up, or I just talk about what's on my mind. When he needs to vent about people at work or his roommate, or his home situation (he does have a lot of stressful health related things happening with his family, as do I), I let him, and I don't try to shut him down. Conversely, when I mention my anxiety over my job search (currently unemployed), he often says he "just wants to have a good day" and that he "doesn't know why I can't put it out of my mind" (because I have bills to pay, and it's anxiety provoking to struggle to find a job, and I thought I could vent to him like he does to me; it's not like I'm asking to make our whole day about my anxiety). He reacts the same way when I'm having a day where I'm feeling down, and I've expressed that sometimes I just need a little time to shake it off, but he always wonders if we "should be hanging out" because he "just wants to have a good day" and that makes me feel totally insane, because I feel like even in a relationship that's only platonic, I wouldn't expect a friend to sequester themselves from me for having negative feelings, I'd just hang with them and maybe do something that cheered them up until they felt a bit better. Is that unreasonable? I recently had a period of suicidal ideation, and the first time I saw him in person after telling him on the phone, he could only talk about how he could never go through that again. I understand concern, I express concern for him when I've spent his miserable days with him, but I'd never express that in a way that made it all about how I felt, at least never intentionally.
As far as the lack of reciprocity continues, when we spend time together, it's always at his apartment, though he lives with a roommate (who is a close friend of mine who he often expresses disdain for) and I live alone, and he frequently complains about her "always being there." When he moved in, I accompanied him to target to get supplies and helped him get all his art and gadgets set up. He said he'd help me make my place more homey by helping me move things from storage and stay over more (he's been here exactly twice), and it's been a full year, no dice. My father and brother have helped my more with my home situation, and I see them probably once a month, and they live 40 minutes away by car while my partner lives a 10 minute walk away. When we meet up, even if we're not going to his place, I have to go to him. Even small things like what we watch, what we listen to, what we eat together, seem to need his approval more so than mine.
As I briefly mentioned, I'm currently unemployed (working on it, have several interviews this week), and struggling with my finances. That said, I still usually need to spot him or split everything when we go out. I don't begrudge him help, if I had consistent work, I wouldn't care at all, but I expect that he would return the favor within reason. Last time we hung out, I asked if I could maybe pay him back twenty dollars we'd spent out together next week, after I'm able to make some money selling clothes or picking up temp shifts (Yes, I'm that broke right now, yikes). He brought up his own financial struggles (he is often broke though he's employed full time because he has debt and he's been taking off about one shift per week lately). That made me feel so crazy, because I've never asked him for help, and I'm in a really difficult situation right now. For context, I've had a lot of job instability in the past year and have still lent him hundreds of dollars just outright and in terms of buying our food, while I'm unemployed and unable to collect unemployment, and he has a full time job. He pays me back, but it really stresses me out that he asks me for money and to buy things I don't feel like I should spend money on, this is partially a boundary issue on my part. I have difficulty saying no to him even though it makes me really uncomfortable; it wouldn't make me so uncomfortable if I didn't feel kind of pressured into it, though I don't think he's doing that intentionally. I think I also feel some resentment that he's 18 years older than me and hasn't figured out how to manage his money a bit better. This also relates to our intimacy in that, he never buys contraception unless we're splitting it, and when we've needed plan b, though I've asked him to alternate with me on buying any form of contraception, and he agreed, he hasn't done so and made me feel out of line for asking, again, after he agreed to do so.
I'm tired of having no space to exist/feeling like an accessory, almost, but at the same time, I'm having a lot of difficulty breaking it off, because every time I've tried to in a meaningful way, I get hit with the "I don't want to lose you" and how our love for each other is "so pure." He'll drag me through endless conversations about whether we should "be in a serious relationship" and simultaneously never want to be without access to me in some way. I've said that he can't have both, and we've talked about taking breaks to work on ourselves, and nothing goes anywhere. He also has a habit of bringing this up when we're out in public when I've asked him specifically not to because it's a hard, emotional conversation that I'd like to have in private, and he'll get worked up about me getting emotional, and then act like I've started a fight by getting emotional. I've also discussed with him that in a lot of ways, this doesn't feel like a "serious" relationship despite the time we've spent in it, because he was really bizarre about meeting my family and me meeting his (I had to talk him into it this past Christmas, or else I wouldn't have met them, and I haven't seen them since, whereas his previous ex was very close with his family), we haven't celebrated either of our anniversaries (I actually scaled back his gift for valentine's this year because I didn't want to go through all the agita of being the only one who acknowledged that we had an anniversary we agreed on), and the only time he's put effort into dates were my birthdays, and at the very beginning of our relationship, whereas most times we went to shows in the past year or so, it was because I bought tickets. There's been loose talk of wanting to move in together, but I've already told him I don't expect that to ever happen (though he made me feel like I was being a bitch or trying to be nasty by saying so) because we can't go a week without him making me feel insane by bringing up the "should we be in a serious relationship" shit after a couple days we spent happily together without conflict. I didn't phrase it like that, I just said I have no expectation of it happening necessarily, and definitely not in the near future because of the way things are going.
I'm so confused by how he's affectionate one day and cold the next, how fights are somehow always my fault for being emotional (though he says he's never said that and doesn't mean to make me feel that way), and how his actions and words never line up/he always seems to have the right thing to say that makes me feel like I am being insane somehow, and that something will be different soon.
All my mental health and family struggles aside (not even cracking that open because this is already a lot), I think I'm really unhappy, but this is my first longer relationship, and I keep questioning whether my expectations are unreasonable, and whether the bad truly outweighs the things I've loved about him. I've outlined all my dislikes here, but there have been many times when I felt very loved and special with this man, like I'd found my best friend, and that's why I'm so unsure. I also think, as unproductive and infuriating as a lot of conversations about our relationship have been (I almost feel like I'm dealing with a teenager and not a man who's 18 years older than me), I really don't think he means to make me feel so unsure of myself and upset. Though I think he's self centered at times, I don't believe it's malicious.
TLDR; This is my first long term relationship and I think it needs to end, but our discussions of the relationship are unproductive/cyclical and really make me feel crazy. Are these reasonable things to take issue with? Should I break it off? How do you break it off when the person you're with is non-committal to being with you "seriously" but won't let you go?

Thank you for reading this, whoever you are. I’d like to end my life. I’ve thought about this since 2022. Why such a specific date? That was the day our adopted son falsely accused us of abuse and had us arrested. We adopted him out of foster care at 10 years old. He’d been in care since he was 6, and was legally free for adoption. He’d cycled through 12 foster homes before we met him at an adoption fair. He was fun, charismatic, charming, and wild. Before we left the fair, he said, “You better come to the next fair!” We thought he was perfect. I should mention that I was obsessed with the original “Annie” movie as a child. And given my childhood history of abuse (mother has bpd and narcissistic personality disorder, according to former therapist), I identified with those who feel rejected and isolated. I wanted to help a child in need, to love a child who felt abandoned, as I had. I convinced my husband to come along. What an idiot I was. The boy had a history of sabotaging placements. His biological parents have a history of drug use, alcohol abuse, domestic violence, etc… The social workers told us that he sabotaged at their insistence. They told him if he acted “like a bad ass” he could come back home. So he lied about foster parents leaving him out in the cold, threatened to kill them, acted out, got into fights, so the foster parents would turn him away, and he was successful. But he’d been in his last placenent for 1.5 years. The social workers said that he’d figured out that his biological parents had been lying to him, and he’d given up on sabatoging. I swear, he really seemed so open to adoption, so open to love. He moved from a rural area in a different state to NYC. What a mistake! The problems began instantly. He was destructive and violent. Yet so sweet and kind. He could turn on a dime. He’d hit me. He touched one of his friends on the genitals. His teachers said he inspired the other students to behave badly. He got into constant fights, but was one of the most popular kids in school. He came out as gay and we supported him. He has ADHD, so we got a psychiatrist for medication management, and a therapist he saw 2x a week. We were really trying! Something shifted when we moved to a different borough and he had to switch schools. The pandemic hit us hard — the first year and some change he lived with us was under lockdown, so you can imagine how hard that was. We wanted more space and we thought he would thrive in a neighborhood school. But 6 weeks after moving he attacked us. He was 5’9 at 12 years old. I’m a small person and he outweighed me. My husband tried to subdue him to settle him down. The boy fell and got a few scratches. He tried to leave the house, which he often did when he was in a heightened state of arousal, and our social workers encouraged us to just let it happen because at that point the medulla has taken over and he needs to calm down. We lived in relatively safe neighborhood, so we thought what harm could come to him. He tried to take his bike, but I stopped him. I didn’t want him to get into an accident— he’d never been out alone on his bike. He grabbed a hold of me and was hurting me so I bit him to get him off. He ran off crying. That was the last I saw of him in person. We went looking for him after he hadn’t come home in an hour. We found him, but he was still angry. I was angry too. I’d had enough. Not just of him, but my husband, who from the start had made me feel like a bad mother. Especially when I’d get upset after our son would hit me. I found it so overwhelming that I wouldn’t speak to him. I’d retreat into myself. Eventually, I’d come back, and explain why I was angry and why I was silent. Consequences for inappropriate behavior included writing essays, doing housework, going to an art museum (social workers described this as “time in” instead of out. Doing something a child doesn’t like or would find boring, but stays close to you). The night he attacked us and ran away, he met his new friends from his new school, and he lied and told them we’d kicked him out. He said that I was his biological mom and my husband was his stepfather and that we beat him regularly. They all went to the police precinct together and he told the officers the lie that got us arrested. Eventually, the criminal charges were dropped. But our family court lawyers advised us to plead guilty without admitting fault, as they informed us that self defense doesn’t exist in family court. Plus, he was holding on to the lie. We couldn’t risk taking him back and he didn’t want to come back. His life has taken a drastic turn since leaving. He was arrested several times, joined the Bloods, and stabbed an older man on the subway when he asked him to stop smoking cannabis in the train car and to keep his voice down. The man was rushed to the hospital. I have made a mess of my life. My husband told me I was the reason all this happened. I was a control freak. He doesn’t love me anymore. I can’t do this anymore. The question is how to do it. I want it done quickly and painlessly. I’ve always felt like there was something wrong with me. I’m just too thin skinned, too sensitive, too weak for this world. Thank you again for reading this. It’s long, I know. I appreciate you. I know you’re here because you’re in pain too. I wish I could help you. I still love my son.

So the story starts at my work. We met 2 months ago working together, and didn’t really start talking consistently until 1 month ago. We found out how much we both have in common. Surfing, art, music, plants, etc we have a ton of shared interests/past life experiences. In the middle of one of our conversations a month ago she asks for my number so we can go surfing or hangout. Keep in mind she is 1 month out of a breakup atp. I accept and she invites me to her church. We sit together and have a great time and I learn a lot about her life. I go on vacation abroad the next week and bring her a gift back and she’s super happy and later that day she asks if I can join her for her youth group at church. It also goes great, and we go out to eat with some of the other youth group members. On our way back to the car after dinner she compliments me and says “i like how tall you are” and gazes at me. I accept her compliment and continue the conversation. Her and I go back to her car and have a super nice vulnerable conversation about our lives for a long time. Keep in mind she’s set no boundaries and I’ve done everything so far at her pace. She tells me then “hey I didn’t invite you here to convert you you know I really like spending time with you” We have a really long hug and I go home. Another work week of growing closer goes by, by now we’re constantly finding excuses to be around each other. I arrange for the weekend for us to hang out with a mutual friend. But the friend flakes, and I approach her today and say “hey so __ couldn’t make it tomorrow, I’m still down to hang out together if you are”. What happens next confuses me she says “hey I don’t know if it’s a great idea to hang out one on one if we are just friends. We should do more of a group thing ”. I wasn’t even asking her out, I mean I like her but I don’t understand since she is constantly initiating with me and was the one who invited me to hangout. I accept her boundaries and continue our other conversations like nothing happened. She clocked out shortly after. I think she caught the vibe i was interested in her, and let me down easy. She is a very sweet kind person. Is it possible she likes me but sort of caught herself before things escalated? I suppose I have been approaching her more as we’ve gotten closer.
TL;DR I M22 have been close with a girl who recently got out of a breakup for the past month. But she asked if we could limit one on one time since we are friends. Is she pacing herself or me?

I was born in a small pocket of a big city up north. Single mom and couple siblings, lived with my grandparents most of my life. We didn’t have much and what we did we had by the skin of our teeth really.
I worked really hard, got into a good school, graduated, did an internship and made it out of my hometown! Thrilling!
And then I met my partner. He was like nobody I’d ever met. Audacious in most ways and then he’d surprise me with shyness. Bold and friendly, always making conversation.
We’d had really similar upbringings and had taken total different paths and still found each other. That’s pretty cool!
When we started dating, my mom flipped out. I was in my mid twenties, like fully out of the house, off the insurance type deal. She voluntarily and unexpectedly went no contact with me for two years from a picture. It was painful. But my partner put on a brave face, and he waited it out. Which was another surprise, for me and my mom. He and I drove up and he shook her hand on her property, and they immediately hit it off.
We laughed that day, about how much time she wasted. Look what you’ve been missing!!! He went above and beyond for me in ways people hadn’t before, and that was never lost on me. And I had actually had so much fun. Her loss!
At least now we could play catch up: I was going to be home with him on and off all year for a slew of weddings and accompanying events. You know, as one does when your childhood friends all settle down in the same summer 😀 what could possibly go wrong?
We made it to the first wedding. September. A great time! Someone broke their leg dancing and the dj played them off to evacuate the dance floor? I cannot make this shit up, but these kids share catholic school trauma and we cope with humor. Largely. Usually? I’ll get back to that. My partner and I spent a bit more time with my family, then packed up and drove home. We had just started vending at markets locally and had booked a steampunk event, hoping to find a crossover audience for our art. Neither of us is particularly into steampunk? At all. But he, in particular, fucking hated steampunk. (Seems so extraneous but I swear, this will be important later.)
We were slotted to be back in a few months for the next. And we’d see my family! My aging grandmother, who raised me. My aging dog! Sweet boy! Everything’s okay! I just got the job I’ve been vying for since my move (it’s a glorified carny role and I couldn’t be happier) things are looking up!
On a Friday, I had a panic attack after work. Which, with this new exciting job, was around 3 am. I came home, woke him up, sweaty and crying and stressed out and asked him to wash my hair? Which I had never done. I guess I was just really tired. And he said no, because he had to be up early for a get together with some friends. I cried though about all my fears. My grandma my dog my teeth and he talked me down, like no one else had ever bothered to.
We went to bed late, and I think as a kindness, he left without saying goodbye. I had to work that day, it’s why I wasn’t going along with him.
Then a few hours later, he just died. I say that, not to be crude, just because that’s my concept of how it went.
Communication was so poorly handled by everyone involved and it was so devastating, in retrospect. Genuinely removed my agency from the situation entirely from go. For example, I got the call from family about six hours after the fact, and they had only just received a knock at the door so off to a great start. I got DMs, actually, from people I hardly knew, asking what was going on. And I was like?? You tell me ? You know more than I do if you’re even reaching out, because at this point I haven’t heard from anyone who was at the scene. I had to request a number through Instagram, despite my number— and his mothers— being readily available to them by way of a well-known emergency contact card. Neither of us contacted directly, but people found out through ig somehow. Has never sat right with me. Felt so violating because basically everyone in a 30 mile radius knew what was going on before I was processing that it had happened.
And I knew he died the second I answered the phone. “Are you sitting down?” was a patronizing enough cold open, and the bullshit I was fed about a search was pretty transparent. The circumstances made thing cut and dry, he must be dead. So that’s that.
And he was, but they wouldn’t tell us officially till noon the next day. They found him with sonar 👍 something I wish I didn’t know. Idk why, I just don’t like it much. So impersonal. Not him.
This is where things get complicated and deeply uncomfortable for me. At this point, I’d experienced a lot of devastating loss in my immediate household as a kid. I grew up with disease and morbidity as a constant but not in a weird way? Think Addams? We used to call my grandma morticia, literally. My grandpa was paralyzed from the waist down. TWICE! Because he was drafted after healing his initial spinal cord injury from an auto accident. My family all lived on the same block and my grandfather watched all of us growing up. Which means all of us, at varying ages, watched one of the cousins wither and pass from cancer at 5. My grandma lost the use of her right arm but still had it, limp and swollen. She realearned pretty much everything on her left. We are nothing if not resilient!
And from childhood, I was well accustomed with saying goodbye to people I loved. I didn’t expect people in my life to treat me so differently after this specific death.
And goddamn it I’ve been to my fair share of funerals, if I could do anything for my partner as young widow with Roman Catholic roots, it’s to throw a decent and respectable funerals. With heavy food and good sweets, the butter cookies to distract the kids. And my partner loves funerals— in theory. He collected funereal antiques and oddities (I mean who doesn’t in 2024 am I right? /j?) we have matching his and hers model vaults, they’re out on the porch right now.
They told me to bring pictures. I’m a fine artist and he was self trained, so we had a lot of material and I came stacked to plan with them.
But it was already done. I was sitting his parents and siblings, and his least favorite aunt. I hardly ever saw her, red flag immediately. She is not particularly friendly to me, but she’s smiling. The only one lol.
Tell me why this lady was in charge of decorating, and was so excited about the WAIT FOR IT STEAMPUNK DECOR she picked up at fucking party city for a 35 year old man’s FUNERAL! A man who, in life, vehemently hated steampunk. And I laughed! Hard, because it was genuinely so funny. It is still so funny. Like, even my partner would find that hilarious kinda just by circumstance lol like in retrospect it’s kinda giving camp no? A funeral at the local teamsters hall with generic deli subs, and that aunt taking pictures with friends in the sorority pose for some reason.
This did set a devastating trend of completely bypassing me in any conversation, despite my partner and I sharing a home and bills for years prior to his death. We are not in a common law state and we hadn’t updated our information to reflect otherwise.
I didn’t communicate with the funeral home, I found out after the fact that they made the arrangements without me. The request was that we would receive back one lock of his hair, and his whole beard and his dentures (long story). While we did get the teeth, we only got back a (1) lock of his beard to share 😃 and he was cremated 😃 so that was a fun conversation, again, after the fact.
The GFM, the meal train, the life insurance all went across the street to his family’s house, where it largely stayed for almost whole the first year. Just long enough to burn all of my savings paying all the rent on a lease we signed a month before he died. Coupled with the economy, I’m setback so far on so many levels I feel like genuinely hope it’s but finances are the worst. I was getting regular eviction notices despite constant communication with my complex’s office about the situation, and I was never even technically late on my rent— by contract tenants have til the fourth and I never paid later than hat. Anyway it affected me like mental warfare and now I have crippling anxiety about housing.
His mom did help me, I think on the DL and only after they had remodeled their kitchen and gotten a new puppy. I was able to scrape by and get out, now I’m thriving in a studio with two cats in tow. A great look for a single woman in her thirties! I actually love the studio, and it puts me closer to the city, which I know is better for me opportunity wise (and boy howdy could I use an opportunity lol)
It also puts closer to the people who saw what happened and never had the good sense to tell me like I was a person. These were mostly old buddies, a decent handful of them and I didn’t know them well because my partner just didn’t really run in that circle anymore I guess. But they are all pretty well known in town. And within a few weeks of his death, it got back to me that my name was circling in the zeitgeist.
Over the past few years, it has been proven to me that these people have connections in every avenue of interest, even my profession. That sounds crazy maybe but it is true, mainly because I’m a transplant on their turf. But I moved here for the job? Which I wanted long before I met my partner. Why should I feel pushed out of an arena I fought so hard to play in? It’s been very isolating— I avoid most of the things I used to love because I cannot avoid an awkward run in. Conventions, themed events, even places we like to shop.
Anyway these are the basics but my phone is lagging so bad I almost can’t functionally type so I’m calling it for now... I hope this doesn’t sound too gruff, I’m just trying to live it as it comes. May add some context or anecdotes later. It’s been a wild couple of years and the people I thought would care just don’t seem to. So I appreciate anyone with the wherewithal to read this mess. Thanks.

Just got home from the ART for the invited dress of Gatsby!! It was a great evening and so so much fun with lots of energy. I’ll leave a review without major spoilers here and say more in the comments if I’m able to.
The invited dress rehearsal vibes were really cool! A full house, unsurprisingly. Rachel Chavkin gave a little speech before saying it was truly their FIRST run which is crazy but it was handled so well by all of the incredible professionals. She said that there were some tech elements not yet implemented (including things rising out of the floor) but I obvi have no idea what might change besides that. There were two holds in the first act, one for a big set piece that needed to get moved off (I think it will eventually rise from the floor) and another for something offstage we couldn’t see. Handled smoothly and with grace and no stoppages in the second act though we definitely saw the ASMs and deck crew doing their work a bit more visibly than usual ;) but it was all in the magic of live theatre and I was INCREDIBLY impressed with them all. One of the most amazing parts of the night was after the final blackout, the lights came up for curtain call which they clearly hadn’t blocked yet!! It was adorable and organic and a really special moment.
Okay, onto the show itself, with the major caveat that it was literally a dress rehearsal and so many things can and will change!! It’s very hard not to compare it to the other Gatsby having seen it so I will a little bit… this was a way grittier, sexier, gayer telling of the story.
The set was almost Rentish with some very interesting mashing together of car parts and a couple of big central staircases. Overall the vibe felt hadestown-ish, and I found the score very good (thought there were some truly great numbers including the opening number but some of the Act 1 songs didn’t really land for me). The highlight for me was honestly the choreo/ensemble overall - they were STUNNING. Someone on here mentioned from a look in on rehearsal that it was very contemporary/interpretive, but I think it ended up being a solid mix of that, contemporary Broadway/movement, and one soft shoe tap classic number that brought the house down. The performances were very strong, especially by Ben Levi Ross and Charlotte MacInnes. And Solea Pfeiffer STOLE the show vocally, the score really highlights her!! I think Isaac Powell has a little ways to go to capture the “rizz” of Gatsby but I think he will get there. The pacing was much different than the other show, as Gatsby and Daisy met about halfway through the first act. I thought this worked better overall but they need to find a better way to build up to the tension of the car crash and the murders, as act 2 didn’t quite get that crushing dramatic tension (though I thought the numbers were overall better and more consistent.
There were a couple of really interesting choices in terms of plot and character that made me think of the story in a new light and overall I really enjoyed it!! I imagine it will have a successful run in Boston as it gets itself together and make it to New York soon.

I’ve watched this 3D animated movie which I’m pretty sure from china. It’s about fighting. The MC is high school(not sure but student) girl. I remember something about her being red like I don’t know if it’s her hair or clothes? Also she is good at fighting but she met people better than her n got involved with gangs? I think. Two sides r fighting n she got involved because of her friend or a girl with black(hair or clothes?) n fought with her. I don’t remember they became friend or became opposite sides. Also the MC is from country side n has a master who teach her martial art. And she came to city for school. I also remember fighting in principal office.
The last part of the movie is about a really powerful leader from one side wake up from n death n fought a boy(?) or a man(?), (but not that old, can be shipped with the student girl) and it’s like powers flowing through body and breaking everything in you but surviving and all.
I also remember the movie being really dark and most of the things happened at night. There r bikes and swords and g^ns. Like spy.
I watched this while I was little. I didn’t know the story but really enjoyed the fightings. My sister and I called that movie ‘Little student’ and forgot about the name.
Please help me find this one. Thank you.

No one grows up dreaming of becoming a Mycologist. However, ever since I saw the first Planet Earth movie in college, I have had a deep love and curiosity for fungi. Whether it be for cooking, recreational uses, or just studying the way that Fungi operate, these organisms are deeply complex and rather overlooked for more glamorous taxon's such as mammals or reptiles. However, these organisms are deeply compelling. One such example is the world’s largest organism, which is a 3.4 mile long fungi that resides in the Malheur National Forest in Oregon. When I got word that the area that this fungi inhabits had opened up due to a sinkhole, I boarded the first flight to Boise to meet up with several of my colleagues to study this creature up close.
Prof. Gene Wilson met me at my flight’s gate holding up a sign with my name on it and wearing a blue and pink Hawaiian shirt. Gene and I had met back at a college party during my freshman year at Boston University when he had punched a man who got a little too “handsy” with me. Ever since that day, he has been like a brother to me. As soon as he saw me, he quickly walked up to me and gave me a hug.
“Kim, it has been far too long!” He exclaimed as he let go of me.
“It has!” I said as I patted him on the shoulder “We both chose the wrong professions for keeping close contact”.
“Definitely” Gene said with a hearty laugh, “you ready to see some fun guys!”
I rolled my eyes at his horrible dad joke as he picked up my luggage and we both made our way to his car.
“So what do you know about the site, will it be safe to walk around or will the park rangers give us trouble for being there?” I asked.
“Quite the contrary!” Gene said as he struggled with holding my duffle bag. “We’ve gotten full authorization to go into the sinkhole”.
As soon as I heard this I stopped walking and stared at Gene with a confused and clearly excited expression.
“Don’t fuck with me like that Gene, surely you can’t be serious”. I said as I tugged on his arm.
Gene patted my hand and gave me a big smile, “I’m as serious as a heart attack Kim, got express approval from the CDC to study Mr.Humungous himself”.
“Oh my god Gene” I said as I gave him another hug, “this is gonna be the best day of my life!”.
“It’s gonna be a day, that's for sure!” Gene said as he unlocked his GMC Yukon, “Dr. Alisha Johnson will be meeting us there as well”.
As we got into his car, Gene turned to look at me. “Kim, National Geographic is going to publish a story about us!”.
“Gene, you better stop giving me good news or I might ugly cry all over your leather seat” I said as I wiped my eyes.
Gene laughed as the ignition came to life and we began our 4 hour road trip to Oregon.
“So, what has Kim been up to for the last couple years?” Gene asked endearingly.
“Well, I recently accepted a job offer from Boston University” I replied as I looked out the window.
“That’s incredible! Though truthfully I never saw you as the teaching type” Gene replied.
“Ouch, that’s cold Gene” I said sarcastically.
“Oh stop it, you know I don’t mean that in a bad way," Gene said as he quickly looked over at me. “You’ve just always been about working in the field, not in a classroom”.
“Fair enough” I said as I unfolded my arms, ”I guess I just decided that it's time for me to settle down. Plus having six months of paid sabbatical is always good. How have you been doing?”
“I’ve been really good!” Gene said as a wide smile started to form. “Eric and I actually decided to begin the adoption process!”
“Oh my god you’re gonna be a dad!” I yelled enthusiastically, “Gene, you and Eric are going to be wonderful parents!”
“Thank you Kim, that means a lot”, Gene said as he let out a heavy sigh. “It’s been so stressful lately having to meet with lawyers and child proofing our home. That’s why this trip means so much to me!”
For the rest of the trip, Gene and I continued to talk about our plans for the future, our work and reliving our college days. Finally around 11 a.m we saw the sign for Malheur National Forest. As we got closer to the research site, a wave of anxiety and excitement washed over the car. Neither of us spoke but we both knew what the other was thinking, we were about to make history.
When we pulled up to the site, we saw that there were two cars parked to the side and a young man leaning against a nearby tree.
“Wow, look at the fanfare” Gene said sarcastically.
“They really rolled out the red carpet this time,” I replied as we both let out a laugh and stepped out of the vehicle.
As we grabbed our research kits from the truck, the young man began to walk towards us.
“Hi, are you Dr.Wilson and Dr.Bishop?” the young man asked.
“That’s us!” Gene said, “are you our mighty escort?”
“Sure am!” the young man said as he grabbed one of the bags on the ground, “I’m Connor Peters, I work under Dr.Johnson”.
“It's a pleasure to meet you Connor” I said as I shook his hand, “lets see the site!”
After walking for what seemed like a lifetime, we finally made it to a roped off section of open land. Standing about twenty feet in was Dr. Ashley Johnson and a middle aged man with a camera around his neck.
“Dr. Johnson, we’re all here!” Connor yelled as we stepped over the rope.
“Wonderful!” Dr. Johnson said as she and the man made their way towards us, “Dr. Bishop and Dr. Wilson, It's great to see you both again”.
“The pleasure is all mine” I said as I shook her hand.
“Everyone, this is Dan” Dr. Johnson said as she turned to look at Daniel “He’s a reporter from National Geographic”
“It’s a great honor to be able to venture into this unknown with all of you!” Dan said as he snapped a picture of Dr. Wilson and I.
“So how far away is this sinkhole?” I asked.
“The sinkhole is right over this small hill, but that's not where we will be going doing our research” Dr. Johnson said as she led the group towards the hill.
“But isn't that why we planned this excursion?” Gene asked.
“It is, but I am more concerned with studying the cave system that the sink hole managed to unearth,” Dr. Johnson said as she began to smile.
“A cave system? I asked.
“Yes, a cave system which will allow us to get extraordinarily close to the armillaria ostoyae fungi”. Dr. Johnson said as we neared the top of the hill
“How close?” I asked excitedly.
“Practically inside the organism” Connor blurted out.
“Dr. Johnson, are you serious?” Gene chimed in.
“Take a look for yourself”, Dr. Johnson said as she pointed down the hill.
From the top of the hill you could see the massive hole where the ground had given way and begun to expose the vast web of black armillaria roots along the holes sides. As we got closer to the opening, it was apparent that the hole went down about a hundred feet and had a twenty foot radius.
“Jesus Christ, this is fucking massive” I said in pure disbelief.
“Dan had sent his drone down the hole earlier and the entrance to the cave is about a hundred and twenty get down, so I hope you’re all good at climbing”. Dr. Johnson said cheerfully as she began to hand out harnesses.
“I haven’t climbed anything since middle school but I guess you’re never too old to pick up a new hobby” Gene said as he struggled to put on his harness.
“Let’s hope then that whoever taught you did a good job” Dan said as he attached the rope to his harness. “I’ll go down first”.
We all watched intently as Dan slowly made the climb down to the bottom of the hole. Once at the bottom, he attached the bottom of the rope to a spike and waved the rest of us down. One by one Dr. Johnson, Connor, and Gene hooked in their harnesses, grabbed their gear and began the descent. Once Gene had successfully unhooked himself it was finally my turn.
“Just take it slow and steady” Dan called up to me as I began to descend the rope.
As I went down, I noticed that the roots on the walls began to get more prominent until the entire wall had been enveloped in a pulsating black mass. After several minutes of slowly belaying myself down, my feet touched solid ground again. Once I had unclipped from the rope I turned around to see that the group was staring at something.
“Is that the cave?” I said as I walked over to Gene.
Gene just nodded in disbelief.
Once I reached where they were I stopped dead in my tracks. In front of us was a ten foot opening covered in the veiny roots of the fungus. Each root quivered as if to create an optical illusion of waves in the open ocean. Along the floor of the cavern entrance were ancient drawings of symbols that I have never seen before. As we tried to take in the sight of this lost cavern, our fixation was broken by the flashing of Dan’s camera. As the flash illuminated the cave, we watched in awe as the pathway ahead seemed to stretch on indefinitely.
“Are these ancient ruins?” Connor said as he began to walk towards the cave.
“You’re guess is as good as mine” Dr. Johnson said as she turned on her flashlight.
“Wait, before we go in we should put on respirators”. Gene said as he started looking through his bag and I quickly joined him.
“Why do you need a respirator?” Connor asked as he watched the rest of our group put theirs on.
“You never know what sort of mold or spores are going to be down here” Dr. Johnson explained, “you brought a mask with you, right?”
“Sorry Doc, I think I forgot to pack one”. Connor said sheepishly.
Dr. Johnson let out a sigh of deep disapproval. “How can you be going for a doctorate but can’t follow simple instructions in an email?”
Connor shrugged and began to walk into the cave. With this, the expedition had begun.
The further we went into the cavern, the higher the density of roots became, turning what had once been a spacious open area into a narrow passage that forced our group to walk in a single file line. It felt as though we were walking through the nervous system of a body rather than a naturally occurring cave. After a half of squeezing through the narrow path of tendrils we finally came to a larger opening where we could take a break. As I entered the area, I saw Dr.Johnson giving Connor a water bottle as he was in the middle of a coughing fit.
“Should’ve worn a respirator” Dan said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a box of American Spirit cigarettes.
“Says the guy whose about to smoke in a fucking cave” Gene said, “Are you trying to give us all lung cancer?”
“Seriously Dan”, Dr. Johnson said as she walked towards us. “I expected a National Geographic reporter to have a little more class than having an American Spirit in a cave”.
“Look, I don't tell you how to live your life, so please don’t tell me how to live mine” Dan said as he leaned against one of the thicker roots.
As he took off his respirator and put the cigarette in his mouth, Dan pulled out a box of “strike anywhere” matches from his breast pocket and took one from the pack.
“Do you guys think the root will mind?” Dan said sarcastically as he pulled out a match.
“Wait Dan! The roots are sensitive to heat, they’re like a nerve receptor” I exclaimed as Dan struck the match onto the root.
As he did this, the root quickly recoiled and slithered up the wall as if it had felt the heat of the fire. Surprised by the quick reaction speed of the root, Dan dropped the lit match onto a different root, which also recoiled at a tremendous speed. We watched in awe as the whole cavern began to shift and coil rapidly like a hungry pit of snakes that found a sliver of meat. This brief awe quickly turned to terror when we heard a loud rumbling from above us.
“What the fuck was that” Dan said as he quickly grabbed his grab.
“I don’t know, but we should probably keep moving,” Connor said.
“Oh Fuck!” Gene yelled.
I quickly turned around and saw that the roof of the cave was beginning to crack.
“The cave’s gonna go!” I yelled.
Before we could even escape, the roof of the cavern exploded causing the ground we were walking onto given way. We had walked only several hundred feet into the cave and were already being swallowed by it. I watched in horror as Gene, Dr. Johnson and Connor plunged into the darkness below. Grabbing onto a root, I looked over at a petrified Dan.
“Hold on Dan!” I yelled as my hands were being sliced by my skin slipping on the coarse roots.
“I’m trying Doc!” Dan said as he tightened his grip around the root.
“What the fuck?! It grabbed me!” Dan yelled.
I turned to look at Dan but before I could respond, my grip finally gave and I started to fall into the abyss below. I fell for a second before I was knocked unconscious by the drop. When I came too, I saw from the dim sunlight above that the area of the cave where we had taken our break was now 20 feet above me. Looking around, I couldn’t see anything more than 10 in front of me and I had no source of light that I could use.
In a panic I started calling out to the void.
“Guys! Are you ok? Where are you?”
Suddenly I heard a weak voice to my right.
“Doctor Bishop…” Connor croaked out in between coughs.
“Connor, where are you, are you ok?” I asked frantically.
“I’m over here” Connor muttered, “just follow my voice”.
Not wanting to test my balance, I crawled on my hands and knees towards where I had heard Connor. Several feet in front of me, I accidentally grabbed what felt like a metallic cylinder. Feeling around the object further, I found the button and the room exploded with light. My brief excitement over being able to see was quickly crushed by the sight in front of me. Laying bloody and crumbled on the ground was Connor. Looking at his right leg, it looked as though it had taken the shape of the letter Z. Connor stared at me with a solemn look, as though he knew from my reaction that his situation wasn’t good.
“Guess I’m not the prettiest sight right now huh”, Connor chuckled before having another coughing fit.
“Take it easy Connor, you’re going to be fine” I said as I kneeled down beside him. “We just have to get out of here”.
“How are we going to do that?” Connor said, “there’s no way I can climb that wall like this. Even if I could, I’ve been having these terrible coughing fits ever since I got here”.
“Once I find where Dr. Wilson, Dr. Johnson, and Dan went, we will think of a plan. We have spare ropes in our bags, remember”. I said as I slowly stood up.
“Good luck Dr.Bishop” Connor said as he gave me a small smile, “please be safe”.
As I was standing, it became clear to me that I had suffered a concussion from the fall. Holding my head to help my searing headache, I slowly made my way down the corridor. As I did, I began to see more of the symbols from before. Pointing my flashlight at the opposite wall, I saw that there was an illustration of a group of people praying to what appeared to be a black scribble. As I stared at the drawing, I saw something slither by the peripheral of my vision and I quickly shined my flashlight on the floor. Slinking away into the darkness was another black root. Using the wall as a crutch, I slowly followed the root further into the tunnel. Along the walls were even more pictures depicting the black scribble. One picture showed a white glow from the scribble as the people rejoiced over a good harvest. Another picture showed people gathered around the black scribble performing acts of ritualistic sacrifice. The last drawing I saw was the people running from the black scribble. Before I could look at any more drawing, I felt my left foot get stuck on a root before collapsing to the floor.
As I went to stand up, I suddenly heard a sound further down the corridor.
“Guys… Guys… Where are you…are you ok…”
“Hello, is anyone down there?” I replied as I inched towards the voice
“Are you ok… Guys… Guys…”
“Dan? Gene? Alisha? Is that you” I called out to the darkness.
“Dan…”
After slowly making my way towards the voice for a couple minutes, I could finally see what looked like a shadow at the edge of my flashlights range.
“I see you, who’s there?” I called out again with a shaky voice.
“Dan…”
As I got closer, I could see Dan standing still in the middle of the corridor about 200 feet in front of me. As I moved closer, he started to wave at me.
“Thank god you’re ok Dan, I was worried…” I quickly stopped in my tracks
Dan was still waving at me. Now that I was about 50 feet closer, I could tell that the way he was waving was almost as if his body was stuttering. He wasn’t looking at me either, instead he was staring down at the floor. Before I could get any closer, I felt hands grab me by my mouth from behind and pull me into a small alcove. I tried to kick and scream but whoever was dragging me was much stronger than I was. Once we had backed into the darkness the person spoke.
“That isn’t Dan” Gene whispered in a scared tone.
As soon as I heard Gene’s voice my body eased up and I turned to face him.
“That’s definitely Dan” I reassured Gene, “He was standing right there”.
“I know Kim” Gene whispered, “He’s been standing there waving for 2 hours now”.
I felt my whole body go numb when he said that. How could he have known that Dan had been waving at me.
“What the fuck is this place?” I muttered.
“I have no clue but we need to get the fuck out of here” Gene said as he put on his backpack.
“Where’s Alisha?” I asked in a hushed tone.
“We split off earlier, I think she was heading towards where we had fallen to try and find Connor” Gene replied.
“Connor is down this corridor, but he’s in really rough shape” I said as I looked around for where my flashlight had fallen.
“Fuck, how bad is he hurt?” Gene asked.
“Bad, he won't be able to walk on his own” I replied as I found my flashlight.
As I went to grab it, I hit the button shining the light across the corridor. As soon as it turned on Gene quickly reached over and turned it off.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck”, he muttered as he backed to the edge of the alcove. “Quick Kim, get over here”.
“Why?” I asked as I slowly scooted towards Gene.
Before Gene could answer, I heard the sound of scraping coming from down the hall.
“Gene… Alisha… Dan… Where are you guys…”
The scrapping began to grow louder.
“Kim, as soon as that thing gets here, you need to be absolutely silent”, Gene said in a serious hushed tone.
“What are we going to do?” I whispered as I curled up next to Gene.
“I don’t know” Gene said, “we have to wait for it to get distracted so we can get the fuck out of here”.
“Where are you guys… Guys… Guys… are you ok…”
The voice grew louder.
“Doc… Where are you…”
As the voice came closer, I realized that whenever the voice spoke it lacked a form of cadence. There was no rhythm, tone or inflection. Whatever was speaking to us did not comprehend the basics of human communication.
“Where are you… Are you ok…”
Suddenly I could make out the silhouette of a figure standing right in front of the alcove. Looking at its legs, I could see that it was hoisted several inches off the ground by roots protruding from the back of its legs. Its arms and head dangled like a limp stuffed animal. The figure rose about a foot off the ground and began to lean forward at a 45 degree angle. Suddenly, it lurched towards the wall of the alcove where Gene and I were hiding. As it crept towards us, I heard the sound of a soft thud a couple feet in front. The sound of the thud caused the creature to stop dead in its tracks.
I remembered that Dan had kept his matchbook in his breast pocket. If this silhouette was Dan and that is what made the noise, then using the match could be our only chance of escape. As the figure stood only a couple feet in front of us, I slowly crept towards where I had heard the sound. I was just out of reach of the object when my knee landed on a small pebble, causing me to let out a soft gasp. At that moment, the whole world went silent as I noticed that the body of the figure was now at a much steeper angle. I couldn’t see it, but from the angle of the body I could tell that it was dangling directly above me. Holding back tears, I held my breath as I reached down and grabbed what he fell off of the figure. As soon as I picked up the object, I knew from the texture and shape that it was the matchbook. Taking one more deep breath, I laid on my stomach and held the match in front of me. I only had one chance to do this, so I couldn’t afford to fuck it. I took a breathe and counted down in my head to calm any nerves
“3”
I put the head of the match to the stone floor.
“2”
I gripped the match so that it wouldn’t fall out of my bloody hands
“1”
I said a quick prayer in my head as I struck the match.
As soon as the match head scraped the stone floor, the head burst into flames. Without thinking, I quickly tossed the match onto the root holding up the body. With incredible speed, the body jolted out of the alcove and slithered quickly into the darkness from which it came. As soon as it was out of sight, Gene helped me up and we bolted back towards where I had left Connor. As we got closer to the light of the open cavity above, we started to hear talking. Gene put out his arm to stop me and we hid in darkness along the wall.
“What should we do?” Gene said.
“I’m sure that it's just Connor, we shouldn’t jump to conclusions”. I said I began to walk toward, but as I did Gene grabbed my arm.
“Kim, that fucking thing mimics voices and uses bodies as puppets. I think not rushing into a potential trap is jumping to conclusions”. Gene replied in an annoyed tone.
“You’re right, what should we do then?” I asked
“Lets walk up slowly and stay out of sight until we are absolutely sure who or what is over there”.Gene said, “follow my lead”.
As I got behind Gene I saw him grab at his waistband for an object. He quickly pulled out an orange revolver and held it in front of him.
“What the fuck is that? A toy gun?” I asked sarcastically.
“Bitch this is a flare gun, I got more class than that” Gene retorted.
We both let out a light chuckle as we inched closer.
“Hey who was that?” Connor said nervously. “We don’t want any trouble, ok. Just leave us the fuck alone.
“Seriously Connor” Alisha snapped.
Gene stopped and looked at me.
“Yup that’s for sure them” Gene said as he hid the flare gun.
“Don’t worry, it's just Kim and I, '' Gene said as we both stepped into the circle of light.
“Oh thank god!” Alisha said as she hugged Gene, “We need to get out of here right now”.
“Tell me about it! What do you have with you” Alisha said as she pointed to Gene's backpack.
As he pulled his items out of his bag, our hopeful outlook was quickly diminished.
“We have 1 bottle of Ibuprofen, a Fine Garden magazine, a hand flare, a notebook and pen, and a bottle of red wine” Alisha said in a defeated tone. ‘How the fuck is any of this useful”.
“Well for starters that wine is aged so show it some respect, but more importantly I wasn’t planning on being attacked by a fucking fungi!” Gene snapped.
As Gene and Alisha began arguing, I took some of the ibuprofen and sat next to Connor.
As I got closer to him, I noticed just how bad Connor’s situation had gotten in the last hour. His skin had taken on a yellowish hue, his mouth had a white outline of crust around it and his eyes had become blood red.
“I look like shit, don’t I?” Connor said in a joking tone.
“You definitely looked a bit better this morning,” I replied as I sat next to him.
“A bit better” Connor said with a laugh, “Ouch Doctor Bishop”.
“Please, call me Kim” I said I felt Connor’s forehead, which had become hot to the touch.
“Kim, I don’t want to die like this,” Connor said as he leaned back on some rocks. “I have so much I have to do, and even more that I have to make up for”.
“You’re going to be ok” I said as I gently ran my hand through his hair.
“Then look me in the eyes when you say it” Conor said sternly. “Please Kim, if I am going to die, at least give me the respect to tell me”.
I sighed and looked back at Alisha and Gene, who had stopped arguing to listen to our conversations. As I looked back at Gene for answers, Alisha walked over and met Connor’s stare.
“Connor, we will do everything we can to save you. But yes, you are most likely going to die” Alisha said bluntly.
“Fuck… If I do die, can you please tell my parents that I died for something meaningful” Connor asked as tears began to drip out of his eyes.
“Of course I will,” Alisha said with a shaken voice.
“Thank you… Ah fuck its happening” Connor yelled as his body started to convulse.
Alisha quickly grabbed him and put his head in her lap.
“Quick do we have anything I can put in his mouth to stop him from biting off his tongue”.
“Yes, take my button up” Gene said as he ripped off his Hawaiian shirt.
As soon as Alisha grabbed the button up and looked back down at Connor, She was met with black projectile vomit. Alisha stumbled back while trying desperately to get the vomit off of her mask. As soon as the vomit was cleaned she ran back over to Connor, only to be stopped by Gene. As soon as Alisha saw what Gene was holding her back from, she froze and her skin went pale. I looked where Gene and Alisha were staring and to my horror Connor was now standing upright and covered in dark black bile. As he stood, his body continued to convulse violently. After about ten seconds, the top of his head began to expand into a cone shape.
“Oh my god”, I said as I took a step back.
“What the fuck is happening!” Alisha screamed as she began to sob.
Suddenly, Connors head burst open and his scalp folded over his eyes, revealing four black tendril roots that were moving erratically within his skull, spewing blood all over the surrounding rocks.
“Jesus fucking Chirst! Someone do something” Alisha cried out.
Two massive roots then started to protrude from his torso, creating a gaping hole where Connor’s rib cage had once been. Hundreds of small roots then shot out of his legs, mangling them beyond recognition. His body then dropped to the floor, and the roots in his skull and torso began to carry his body into the darkness of the tunnel.
We all just stood in silent shock. Not only had Connor died in front of us, but whatever he became was beyond anything a human should have to bear witness too. What’s worse is that what happened to Connor could happen to us if we are down here any longer than we already have been. However, the scariest thought is whether it is already too late for us, and that it is only a matter of time before we share a similar fate. Finally after what seemed like hours, Gene finally broke the silence.
“We need to find a way out of here”.
“What should we do then? We could try to climb up from here” I said as I stared up at the newly formed pile of loose rocks.
“It’s too risky, if we put too much tension on the wall we might cause another collapse. Gene said.
“At this point, I’d take being crushed by a cave in then whatever the fuck just happened to Connor” I replied.
“What if we go deeper into the corridor?” Alisha said quietly.
Gene and I stopped arguing and looked over at Alisha.
“And what would that accomplish?” Gene replied sternly as he folded his arms.
“We could either find another exit or find It” Alsiha replied as she grabbed her flashlight off the ground.
“Find what?” I said as I stepped towards Alisha.
“The heart” Alisha responded.
Gene took a deep breath and then turned to me.
“If you want to go, I say let's do it”.
“I think it's our best shot at this point”, I said as I looked at Alisha, “lead the way”.
As she gave me a cheery nod, I noticed something about her respirator mask. It had been cracked from the fall.
As we ventured back into the corridor, I stopped the group to show them the wall drawings.
“So this thing used to be worshiped,” Gene said as he studied the wall art.
“Maybe they’re the ones who built these hallways?” I replied.
“I doubt it,” Alisha said as she studied the drawing of the people fleeing.
“What makes you say that?” Gene asked.
“In that first drawing where the people are praying, it looks like they had also found this place and were praying to this being for a good harvest”. Alisha said as she begun to walk further down the hallway.
“I wonder how old this place is then”, I said as Gene and I attempted to catch up to Alisha.
“Who knows, it could be as old as the Earth itself” Alisha replied as she kept walking.
“Hey why are you walking so fast? Can you slow down a bit” I asked as Alisha began to go out of sight.
Suddenly Alisha stopped walking and just stood still.
“You guys need to see this!” Alisha happily exclaimed.
Gene shot me a look before we both caught up to her.
“What are you looking at, all I see is just more hallway” Gene said as he looked back at me nervously.
“You don't see the brilliant lights?” Alisha asked sadly.
“Nope, just hallway” I said. “Are you feeling alright?”
Alisha turned to look at me with wide eyes and a droopy smile
“Kim, I have never felt better. We are so close, I can feel it” Alisha said as she began to speed walk again.
As she made her way down the hallway, Gene and I let some distance before we started to follow.
“What the hell is wrong with her” Gene said, “She’s acting totally different”.
“Her mask got cracked during her fall” I said solemnly.
“Oh fuck, do you think she has what Connor had?” Gene asked nervously.
“I have no clue”, I said as we began to pick up the pace. “But seeing as she's been exposed to the same air for roughly the same amount of time, I’d say something else is happening here”.
“Guys, quickly come look! I found it. “Alisha called from deep within the corridor.
After a couple minutes, we finally caught up to her and stood in awe. We could see a beam of light coming from an opening a couple hundred feet away.
“Alisha you an exit! Thank fucking god!” Gene said as he hugged her.
We both sprinted towards the light as Alisha followed behind us laughing to herself.
As soon as we got to the doorway, Gene gave me a hug.
“We’re gonna be saved!”
After he let go and waited for Alisha to catch up to us, the three of us walked through the doorway and into the light.
Once the light faded and we were on the other side, we froze in terror. This wasn’t the exit, it wasn’t anyplace that should even exist. The room seemingly stretched for miles in either direction. Blue and white lights glowed beyond the distance that the human eye can see. In the middle of this glowing chamber was a pulsating mass of black roots, eyes and veins which looked as though it was the size of a large mountain.Tendrils made of rotting muscle, eyes, and roots, which connected the mass to the chamber seemed to stretch indefinitely, were hundreds of feet thick, and was gushing out black liquid. After being frozen in place, the mass began to shake and the massive eye in the center of its form began to open. As it did, tendrils carrying thousands of corpses similar to Dans’ hovered about us and spoke in unison. As the corpses spoke, Gene and I looked on in horror as Alisha bowed before the Mass
“Alisha Johnson… You have brought forth your harvest…” The corpses sang in unison
“I hath brought forth the harvest which you seek” Alisha replied.
“You must spread my divine word… Connor has given you the seed for which you must plant…” The corpses bellowed in perfect harmony
‘Fuck this bullshit!” Gene said as he raised his flare gun towards the Mass.
Before Gene could pull the trigger, Alisha had gotten up and smashed him over the head with rock.
“Gene no!!!” I screamed as I rushed to his side.
“Go Forth… Alisha… Join the Harvest… Join the Harvest…” The corpses screeched.
“Why the fuck would you do that Gene” I said as I held his head.
“I wanted to go out in style”, Gene said he coughed up blood.
“What do you mean, we could’ve just escaped”. I cried.
“Kim, we both know that we can’t leave this place. Not after what we’ve seen or what may be carried in our bodies. If Alisha escapes, she’s going to kill a lot of people… You have to stop her” Gene said as his voice became weaker.
“How? She’s so far ahead already” I said as I clutched Gene’s head.
Gene turned his head towards the flare gun that rested a couple feet away.
“With style” Gene said as he smiled.
“Now go, leave me here” Gene said as he closed his eyes.
“I’ll see you soon Gene” I said as I picked up the flare gun.
“I’ll be waiting,” he replied.
I looked back at Gene and the Mass one more time before I ran out of the chamber and after Alisha.
As I ran towards the opening, I could hear the deafening sounds of thousands of people singing “Join the Harvest” all around me. As I turned a corner to head down the final hallway to the opening, I was met with a sucker punch to the face which shattered my mask and sent me to the floor. When I came too, I saw Alisha sprinting towards the loose rock wall. Behind me, I could hear the sounds of thousands of feet scraping against the floor. I quickly got my bearing and made it to the wall just as Alisha climbed to the top. As I began to climb the rock wall, Alisha started to throw rocks down on me.
“You can’t stop me Kim” Alisha yelled as she threw a rock at my head. “I am It and It is me, the Growth and I demand sustenance. Join the Harvest or become the flesh which we shall devour”.
“You pretentious bitch stop speaking to me in riddles” I yelled back.
Alisha quickly ran towards the entrance to the cave. After a couple minutes I was able to scale the rockwall and ran towards the rope. As I passed through the narrow wall of roots, they began to scratch and claw at me, as if to try and slow me down. However I bore the pain, as I was not going to let Gene, Dan and Connor die in vain. Once I emerged from the cave, I noticed that I was bleeding profusely from all of the cuts. With all my remaining strength and adrenaline, I made my way over to the rope and saw that Alisha was about thirty feet above the ground.
“This ones for you Gene” I said as I raised the flare gun and pulled the trigger.
I watched as the flare soared over Alisha’s head by thirty feet.
“You missed!” Alisha yelled as the flare went past her.
“Nope”, I said as I smiled. “I was right on target”.
I watched as the flare exploded as it hit the rope, causing the polypropylene material to begin to melt. As Alisha was about ten feet from the point of impact the rope gave out, sending her to the ground. As she hit the tough stone below, I made my way back into the cave and found my bag. As I dumped out its contents onto the floor, I picked up an extra bottle of wine that Gene and I were going to share, took off my broken respirator, and began to type out this story. As I finish writing this, I can feel the influence of the spores overtaking my mind. It is too late for me, but If you are reading this, you must join the harvest join the harvest join the harvest join the harvest join the harvest join the harvest join the harvest join the harvest join the harvest join the harvest destroy the nest for good.

I’ve watched this 3D animated movie which I’m pretty sure from china. It’s about fighting. The MC is high school(not sure but student) girl. I remember something about her being red like I don’t know if it’s her hair or clothes? Also she is good at fighting but she met people better than her n got involved with gangs? I think. It’s two sides r fighting n she got involved because of her friend or a girl with black(hair or clothes?) n fought with her. I don’t remember they became friend or became opposite sides. Also the MC is from country side n has a master who teach her martial art. And she came to city for school. I also remember fighting in principal office.
The last part of the movie is about a really powerful leader from one side wake up from n death n fought a boy(?) or a man(?), (but not that old, can be shipped with the student girl) and it’s all like powers flowing through body and breaking everything in you but surviving and all.
I also remember the movie being really dark and most of the things happened at night. There r bikes and swords and g^ns. Like spy.
I watched this while I was little. I didn’t know the story but really enjoyed the fightings. My sister and I called that movie ‘Little student’ and forgot about the name.
Please help me find this one. Thank you.

I used to live in Kansas City for a while. Got to know the whole area pretty well.
I'm writing a novel and want to place the "company" my characters work at in Kansas City, MO, in the area. Is it a bad idea to mention a real-life city, and its specific areas, iconic places, even sports teams by name? Can that cause rights disputes later for me, if I were to publish, even though it's purely fiction?
For example, if I was to mention Arrowhead or Kaufmann stadiums, or the T-Mobile Center, or Kauffman Center (fine arts venue) or MCI airport, etc., would that be a legal problem for me if I got all the way to ready to publish?
Case in point: "Jack and Jane decided to meet up at Kauffman Stadium that evening for a Royals game. They needed some time out of the office to clear their heads after the busy day and a ball game would do a lot to help, as it was their favorite pass time together, ever since they'd met."

The purge continues! Lowered some prices, added some new TPBs. Almost all books are unread and many are still sealed. Please take a look at the linked spreadsheet for condition notes and additional details about what is contained in each set. Any set or item over $100 has the timestamped photo in the linked album.
All prices listed below include media mail shipping, I’ll combine shipping to lower the price for multiple purchases.
DC Omnibuses

• American Vampire - Volume 1 (Omnibus) - $66 - Pictures
• Flash by Johns - Volume 3 (Omnibus) - $50 - Pictures
• Lucifer (1, 2) (Omnibus Set) - $145 - Pictures
• Superman / Batman (1, 2) (Omnibus Set) - $138 - Pictures

Absolute Editions

• Absolute Sandman - Volume 1 - $52 - Pictures

DC Deluxe Editions

• Batman / The Flash: The Button (Deluxe) - $12 - Pictures
• Batman: White Knight and Curse of the White Knight Set (Deluxe) - $50 - Pictures
• DC Rebirth (Deluxe) - $10 - Pictures
• Fables - Volume 9 (Deluxe) - $100 - Pictures
• Fables - Volume 10 (Deluxe) - $42 - Pictures
• Green Arrow: Archer's Quest (Deluxe) - $10 - Pictures
• Mister Miracle (Deluxe) - $25 - Pictures
• Scalped - Volume 1 (Deluxe) - $20 - Pictures
• Superman: Birthright (Deluxe) - $25 - Pictures
• Sweet Tooth (1, 2, 3) (Deluxe Set) - $84 - Pictures

Other Hardcovers

• Aster of Pan (HC) - $15 - Pictures
• Berserk - Volume 1 (Deluxe) - $22 - Pictures
• D&D (See Pics) (HC Set) - $290 - Pictures
• Ether (Library) - $58 - Pictures
• Firepower (HC) - $35 - Pictures
• Grass Kings (1, 2, 3) (HC Set) - $45 - Pictures
• Harrow County (1, 3, 4, Tales) (Library Set) - $195 - Pictures
• Fabulous Killjoys: California (HC) - $28 - Pictures
• Marvel Studios' The Art of Loki: Season 1 (HC) - $30 - Pictures
• Marvel Studios' The Art of Shang-Chi (HC) - $30 - Pictures
• Our Encounters with Evil (HC) - $10 - Pictures
• Thanos Infinity Relativity (HC) - $10 - Pictures
• Ultimate Spider-Man (1 - 12) (HC Set) - $380 - Pictures
• Umbrella Academy (All) (Slipcase Set) - $155 - Pictures

Marvel Epic Collections / Sets

• Ant-Man / Giant-Man Epic Set - $45 - Pictures
• Black Panther Epic Set - $45 - Pictures
• Defenders Epic Set - $145 - Pictures
• Doctor Strange Epic Set - $235 - Pictures
• Guardians of the Galaxy - #1: Earth Shall Overcome - $22 - Pictures
• Hawkeye - #1: The Avenging Archer - $22 - Pictures
• Hulk Epic Set - $350 - Pictures
• Iron Fist - #1: The Fury of Iron Fist - $28 - Pictures
• Luke Cage - #1: Retribution - $35 - Pictures
• Moon Knight Epic Set - $100 - Pictures
• Power Man & Iron Fist Epic Set - $115 - Pictures
• She-Hulk - #3: Breaking the Fourth Wall - $52 - Pictures
• Thor Epic Set - $350 - Pictures

Other Marvel TPB Sets

• Ant-Man and the Wasp Set - $30 - Pictures
• Black Panther Set - $250 - Pictures
• Black Widow Set - $110 - Pictures
• Cosmic Ghost Rider Set - $35 - Pictures
• Defenders Set - $70 - Pictures
• Doctor Strange Set - $165 - Pictures
• Guardians of the Galaxy Set - $320 - Pictures
• Hulk Set - $245 - Pictures
• Iron Fist Set - $90 - Pictures
• Iron Man Set - $155 - Pictures
• Jessica Jones Set - $105 - Pictures
• Luke Cage Set - $45 - Pictures
• Moon Knight Set - $285 - Pictures
• New Warriors Set - $18 - Pictures
• Power Man and Iron Fist Set - $30 - Pictures
• Ravencroft Set - $25 - Pictures
• Runaways Set - $45 - Pictures
• Sentry Set - $40 - Pictures
• She-Hulk Set - $50 - Pictures
• Squadron Supreme Set - $45 - Pictures
• Star Wars Set - $1,100 - Pictures
• Strikeforce Set - $15 - Pictures
• Thor Set - $180 - Pictures
• Ultimates: Omniversal Set - $22 - Pictures
• Valkyries Set - $25 - Pictures
• War Machine Set - 28 - Pictures

If you have any questions at all, please don’t hesitate to ask!
Spreadsheet with full set details and condition notes

It was the year like 2004 and I was only but 9 years old and only ever played FF7 1997 but never finished that or 8 or 9. When my sister bought this game from the store she was captivated by the vague and little disclaimer they give you in the back. 3d models, VOICE ACTING!? Full on CGI cut scenes! Actually if you wanna know what key points they chose to highlight it was these: “Enhanced facial motion system” I mean yeah they were emotive lmfao! “Stunning 3D environments” Yeah linear but Macalania, Gagazet. And Zanarkand were amazing for sure. “New conditional turn based battle system” pretty vague but it lets you know to expect something new. {The magical world of Spira is under threat from Sin-an evil entity that unleashes havoc terror and destruction … Join Tidus a heroic blitzball superstar and Yuna, A courageous girl skilled in the ancient art of summoning as they embark on an epic quest to defeat Spira’s deadliest enemy-
{Only the final summoning can defeat Sin and bring peace back to Spira}
So she and myself included were intrigued. We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. The prologue has the blatant intent on feeding You a true prerequisite for all the events that transpire after Tidus is sucked up a flabby whales butt hole 1000 years into the future being transported to a whole new dimension. We meet the Al Bhed….Im like “….thats not a real language this is gibberish or by todays lingo yapanese!” Anyway during Tidus & Rikku’s little chat we are spoon fed a few more facts about Sin, Spira, & Zanarkand. Then it looks like we are Transported to Besaid where within the next 20 minutes a lot is established. Ok so Blitzball is a universal thing here in Spira and it’s like any other major sports league. Some plot happens and then the temple of Yevon where we learn about high summoners and the duty they have sworn by Yevon. Then that scene that had me shook in a good way as a kid. “She’s…beautiful!” I thought when she dramatically stage dived off the top of the staircase and was caught. “I-I’ve done it…I’ve finally become A summoner” I was with Tidus thinking summoners were old geezers lmao. Shortly after the beginning of Tidus & Yunas friendship (Progresses to more Later on in the story) begins as they talked for the first night. Wakka was like “she’s cute ya?” As he nudges him. Yuna is well liked by villagers young and old and they respect her whole heartedly. I believe canonically she’s an attractive teenage girl I mean look at her. Lulu gets her intro I was intimidated through the TV screen. “She don’t play no games” I thought. Then Kamaris intro has me shook but it always struck me as weird in how it was presented. Made him look like some feral wild beast out for blood and guts while he is definitely not that, the exact opposite. I loved Tidus and Yunas boat talks too haha. Luca was such a vibe I mean I really felt a part of that world. So many twists and turns happened here. Blitzball, winning the cup is a proper End to the Blitzball sub plot. Yuna gets kidnapped by Al Bhed. Now that I think about it what if it was Rikku and some of her crew. I mean they kidnapped her ass when she was on the Shoopuf in Guadosalem. I wonder how they knew when she’d be at, maybe Rikku was like “ugh well he doesn’t know anyone so he’s probably gonna be in Luca trying to compete in the cup. If So…does that mean he met “her”. “This is my shot to save Yunie” or Something I mean I know Lulu has suggested it was so that the Besaid Aurochs could throw the game so That their dog shit team could have an easy win but meh.
The maester (evil) I mean Seymour comes down and Then fiends appear and Anima uses its eye leaking Of period blood to purify (?) the fiends then Auron re-appears in the most badasss yet casual af way. The plan to somehow defeat sin is the next big sub plot. I will never forget the cgi cutscene of the machines shooting Out those rays and Yuna has her eyes locked on them and then fricken Sin repels it and sends it right back destroying the machine and whoever was in that along with it. Yuna was like “AHHHHHA” I would have gasped too. Things are going swimmingly and then Yuna is kidnapped (again) then rescued them a random washed up Rikku appears and we get to see her “true intro” (as a kid I was so confused mostly Cuz I didn’t Realize who that was and also I was like. “Why is this girl randomly gettin but naked near a river!?” But once she took off the wet suit I’m like “no way….its her!?!!” Rikku is one of my all time favorite characters although I like her FFx counterpart better than how she was in FFx2. Devs said that that’s how she well normally is when there isn’t any current world crisis or something like that.
The ball drops and Seymour asks Yuna to marry him. “HE HE ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM!” I was not expecting this damn plot twist lmao. Lulu “sometimes marriage doesn’t require love you Know” “Defeat sin and bring joy to the people of Spira” “Get married and bring joy to the people of Spira” For Yuna there just two ways down the same Road. “All you need is determination if you have that you Don’t need love…” I really thought about that in great depth. First I thought about her relationship with Wakka and then my mother and father”
If they really loved each other or if one had something they the other needed in order to start a family. And what was the true intent behind there marriage to even begin with. My Parents sure didn’t exhibit any kind of love but I learned so much about it through this game at the age of 9. Then the whole Bevelle sequence (not gonna gush) By far the 2nd best sequence arc in this entire game. “NOOOO! Lay down your weapons, or else…” “This is foolish if you fall you’ll die” DON’T WORRY I CAN FLY” BELIEVE…. (My goodness she was like a beautiful swan when she summoned Valefor upside down mind you while falling. She’s got skill) Oh I forgot to mention something very important.
In Killika when Yuna mind you Walked on water and begun the ritual Sending dance where she sent souls to the Farplane the afterlife where there souls can be at rest so they don’t become fiends (demons) and haunt the living. I mean if that’s not a Jesus Christ reference then I don’t know what is. Coming from A religious background I instantly understood it. It’s something I will never forget.
Then the ball drops and Yevon teachings state the summoner must pray at every temple To the faith and receive an aeon, a deity of divine power until she obtains the final summon which is actually going to kill her. She also Must sacrifice someone with high compatibility a bond if you will to Become that aeon and then it ya know kills her. It’s an old tradition that like Yuna said herself to Yunalesca needs to be done with…. Also this is insane. Based off how Yunalesca didn’t even falter or hesitate to get violent with you explains a lot. Your group refused to participate in the tradition of human sacrifice and therefore she could not complete her job which means anyone that travels this long joinery with the same mindset Does indeed die but not by the final summoning it’s by her! She turns into freaky hoe Medusa and KILLS them! That’s absolutely insane.
To wrap this up. So many morals and life lessons and Concepts that are very real to our world can be seen in this game. I’ve played it like 11 times usually once or twice a year. I know this is a long post but I would love to hear if anyone else has had such a profound experience with this classic that cannot be replicated. I do not want them to remake this game at all. Like Not everything needs the remake treatment and this is a prime example.
Thank you for Reading.

Megapost: A list of statements, press releases, and other sources reporting and expressing concern and criticism about Israel's war in Gaza and related aspects of the war. (Part 5)

Notes: This is a work that is currently in progress; please check back for updates. Titles have been edited to provide details.
Part 1 is here: https://www.reddit.com/Social_Democracy/comments/1clx1uc/megapost_a_list_of_statements_press_releases_and/
Part 2 is here: https://www.reddit.com/Social_Democracy/comments/1cmjhpk/megapost_a_list_of_statements_press_releases_and/
Part 3 is here: https://www.reddit.com/Social_Democracy/comments/1coups2/megapost_a_list_of_statements_press_releases_and/
Part 4 is here: https://www.reddit.com/Social_Democracy/comments/1crvrde/megapost_a_list_of_statements_press_releases_and/
The Democratic National Committee's College Democrats of America Slams Biden On Gaza And Backs Campus Protesters (May 1, 2024): https://www.huffpost.com/entry/college-democrats-of-america-statement-biden-gaza-campus-protest_n_663278fce4b0849b2edded55
Tope Folarin, director of the Institute for Policy Studies: We Stand with the Students Protesting the Slaughter in Gaza (May 1, 2024): https://ips-dc.org/we-stand-with-the-students-protesting-the-slaughter-in-gaza/
'You are our hope': Palestinian students find strength in U.S. campus protests: “I feel proud that there is a group of students who feel what we feel now — and are helping and supporting us,” said Reem Musa Suleiman Abu Shinar, speaking to an NBC News crew in the city of Rafah in southern Gaza. (May 1, 2024): https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/palestinian-students-support-us-campus-protests-israel-war-rcna149296
Bernie Sanders in CNN interview: 'This may be Biden’s Vietnam' (May 2, 2024): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6rQmvko18M
Catholic Relief Services representative for Gaza fears possible Rafah invasion (May 2, 2024): https://www.ncronline.org/news/catholic-relief-services-rep-gaza-fears-possible-rafah-invasion
‘Disgrace to diplomacy’: Bosnia accuses Israeli diplomat of genocide denial: Envoy to Serbia draws intense criticism for telling Russian media that calling 1995 Srebrenica massacre a genocide ‘diminishes the importance of that term’ (May 2, 2024): https://www.timesofisrael.com/disgrace-to-diplomacy-bosnia-accuses-israeli-diplomat-of-genocide-denial/
Gazans thank US university protesters as Israel calls for students to be expelled (May 2, 2024): https://www.cnn.com/2024/05/01/middleeast/gaza-children-thank-us-protesters-intl-latam/index.html
Helen Benedict, professor of journalism at Columbia University: ‘US student protests seeking peace in Gaza are the new anti-Vietnam War movement’ (May 2, 2024): https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/us-student-protests-seeking-peace-in-gaza-are-the-new-anti-vietnam-war-movement/articleshow/109766893.cms
Hundreds of U.S. Catholic leaders and laity sign letter urging Permanent Gaza Ceasefire and End to Injustice in Israel and Palestine (May 2, 2024): https://cmep.salsalabs.org/ps-may22024 & https://docs.google.com/document/d/16K1RvL3YdSgSChwO_eWB9iSvIglNP59ahqtAQ1aZiGM/
PREPARED REMARKS: Senator Bernie Sanders on the Nationwide Student Protests and the Ongoing Humanitarian Disaster in Gaza (May 2, 2024): https://www.sanders.senate.gov/press-releases/prepared-remarks-sanders-on-the-nationwide-student-protests-and-the-ongoing-humanitarian-disaster-in-gaza/
Recalling Civil Rights Era Abuses, Legal Defense Fund of the NAACP Roundly Condemns Rising Violations Against Peaceful Protesters and Calls for Immediate Federal Intervention ["Today, the Legal Defense Fund (LDF) issued a statement roundly and unequivocally condemning the rising civil and human rights violations against peaceful protesters across the U.S. and issued a letter calling for the Department of Justice (DOJ) to conduct an immediate investigation into the treatment of peaceful protesters" (May 2, 2024): https://www.naacpldf.org/press-release/recalling-civil-rights-era-abuses-ldf-roundly-condemns-rising-violations-against-peaceful-protesters-and-calls-for-immediate-federal-intervention/
San Francisco Museum of Modern Art (SFMOMA) Workers for Palestinian Liberation: A Statement from SFMOMA Workers on Palestine and Censorship [300+ signatures] (Last updated on May 2, 2024): https://dearsfmoma.com
United Nations Development Programme: As war in Gaza enters seventh month, 1.74 million more Palestinians will be pushed into poverty across State of Palestine according to United Nations assessment: UNDP and ESCWA estimate more than two-decades reversal in human development— beyond earliest recorded levels of 2004. (May 2, 2024): https://www.undp.org/papp/press-releases/war-gaza-enters-seventh-month-174-million-more-palestinians-will-be-pushed-poverty-across-state-palestine-according-united
“Workers Have Power”: Thousands Rally in NYC for May Day, Call for Solidarity with Palestine (May 2, 2024): https://www.democracynow.org/2024/5/2/nyc_may_day_rally_palestine_solidarity
A Message to the Protesters From Reverend Jesse L. Jackson, Sr.: A call to keep raising the tempests on campus over the Gazan horror. (May 3, 2024): https://chicagomaroon.com/42811/viewpoints/op-ed/a-message-to-the-protesters-from-reverend-jesse-l-jackson-s
Association of Flight Attendants President Sara Nelson on Mass Arrest of Anti-War Protestors (May 3, 2024): https://www.afacwa.org/mass_arrest_right_to_protest
Bowdoin College faculty letter of support for the right to protest and dissent [80+ signatures] (May 3, 2024): https://bowdoinorient.com/2024/05/03/faculty-letter-of-support-for-the-right-to-protest-and-dissent/
Church World Service: TAKE ACTION: Urge U.S. Officials to Call for an Immediate Ceasefire in Gaza, Support Humanitarian Aid, and Protect Civilian Life (May 3, 2024): https://cwsglobal.org/action-alerts/take-action-urge-u-s-officials-to-call-for-an-immediate-ceasefire-in-gaza-support-humanitarian-aid-and-protect-civilian-life/
Rashid Khalidi, Professor of Arab Studies at Columbia University: Opposed to Genocide in Gaza, This Is the Conscience of a Nation Speaking Through Your Kids (May 3, 2024): https://www.commondreams.org/opinion/rashid-khalidi-columbia-gaza-speech
“This Militaristic Approach Has Been a Failure”: Meet Hala Rharrit, First U.S. Diplomat to Quit over Gaza (May 3, 2024): https://www.democracynow.org/2024/5/3/state_dept
Where pro-Palestinian university protests are happening around the world (May 3, 2024): https://www.cnn.com/2024/05/03/world/pro-palestinian-university-protests-worldwide-intl-hnk/index.html
100-year-old Jewish activist Jules Rabin is speaking up again — this time about Gaza [In a podcast on the nonprofit news site VT Digger, Rabin referred to the tragedy unfolding in Gaza as “a piecemeal Holocaust.”] (May 4, 2024): https://forward.com/culture/609442/jules-rabin-vermont-activism-gaza-ukraine-israel/
Israel will not agree to end the war with Hamas as part of any deal [“Israel will under no circumstances agree to the end of the war as part of an agreement to release our abductees," an Israeli official told ABC News on Saturday morning. "As the political echelon decided, the IDF will enter Rafah and destroy the remaining Hamas battalions there - whether or not there will be a temporary ceasefire for the release of our hostages."] (May 4, 2024): https://abcnews.go.com/International/live-updates/israel-hamas-cease-fire-talks/israel-will-not-agree-to-end-the-war-with-hamas-as-part-of-any-deal-109924741?id=109734705
Roseann "Chic" Canfora survived the 1970 Kent State shooting. Here's her message to student activists (May 4, 2024): https://www.npr.org/2024/05/04/1249023924/kent-state-shooting-activists-protests-survivor
‘They’re sending a message’: harsh police tactics questioned amid US campus protest crackdowns (May 4, 2024): https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/article/2024/may/04/police-tactics-us-campus-protest-crackdowns
Anton Boonzaier: As a South African during apartheid, I admire pro-Palestine protesters’ tenacity (May 5, 2024): https://dailybruin.com/2024/05/05/op-ed-as-a-south-african-during-apartheid-i-admire-pro-palestine-protesters-tenacity
Committee to Protect Journalists condemns Israeli vote to shut down Al Jazeera; warns of alarming precedent (May 5, 2024): https://cpj.org/2024/05/cpj-condemns-israeli-vote-to-shut-down-al-jazeera-warns-of-alarming-precedent/
Letter: I supported Israel's initial response, but my position has now changed (May 5, 2024): https://dailyprogress.com/opinion/letters/letter-i-supported-israels-initial-response-but-my-position-has-now-changed/article_5d3f023a-0b03-11ef-9fec-5bf0c21a5d27.html
MSNBC's Ayman: The media's hypocritical hysteria over campus protests (May 5, 2024): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVOn7r5iXbI
Union workers join students in rallies Saturday calling for a permanent ceasefire in Gaza [More than 200 people attended the Maine Labor for Palestine and Maine Students for Palestine rally.] (May 5, 2024): https://www.mainepublic.org/news/2024-05-05/union-workers-join-students-in-rallies-saturday-to-free-gaza
Oxfam reaction to Rafah evacuation order (May 6, 2024): https://www.oxfam.org/en/press-releases/oxfam-reaction-rafah-evacuation-order
Patrick Gaspard, president of the Center for American Progress: American politicians forget: disruption and disorder are the point of protests: I have trespassed in peaceful protest. I have shut down government offices in civil disobedience. I have made the powerful uncomfortable. That’s the point (May 6, 2024): https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/article/2024/may/06/campus-pro-palestinian-protests
Save the Children warns of deadly consequences for children following new relocation orders for families in Rafah (May 6, 2024): https://www.savethechildren.net/news/save-children-warns-deadly-consequences-children-following-new-relocation-orders-families-rafah
The campus protesters for Gaza are making America great again: Readers on the demonstrations sweeping colleges and their hopes for the next generation. (May 6, 2024): https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2024/05/06/campus-protests-gaza-palestine-vietnam/
United Nations International Children's Emergency Fund (UNICEF): There is ‘nowhere safe to go’ for the 600,000 children of Rafah, warns UNICEF: With hundreds of thousands of children in Rafah injured, sick, malnourished, traumatized or living with a disability, UNICEF calls for children to not be forcibly relocated, and the vital infrastructure on which children rely to be protected (May 6, 2024): https://www.unicef.org/press-releases/there-nowhere-safe-go-600000-children-rafah-warns-unicef
US campus protests of Israeli ‘genocide’ offer hope to students from Gaza (May 6, 2024): https://www.aljazeera.com/features/2024/5/6/us-student-protests-of-israeli-genocide-offer-hope-to-students-from-gaza
Brant Rosen: We Tried to Bring Food Into Gaza—but Israel Blocked and Arrested Us: As Israel continues to starve the people of Gaza, a delegation of rabbis marched toward the Erez Crossing during Passover carrying sacks of flour and demanding a cease-fire. (May 6, 2024): https://www.thenation.com/article/world/rabbis-arrested-for-bringing-food-gaza/
Catholic Workers Movement: After Arrests, Students Renew Call for Notre Dame to Follow Catholic Teaching on War, Investments (May 6, 2024): https://catholicworker.org/after-arrests-students-renew-call-for-notre-dame-to-follow-catholic-teaching-on-war-investments/
Hala Rharrit, former State Department official: Biden’s militaristic policy in Gaza is a failure — diplomacy is the solution (May 6, 2024): https://thehill.com/opinion/white-house/4646237-biden-gaza-militaristic-policy-failure/
750+ Jewish Students Affirm Support for Pro-Palestine Campus Protests [In Response to Biden’s Speech, 750+ Jewish Students on 140+ Campuses Stand Against Israel's Rafah Invasion, Urge Jewish Institutional Action to Halt Gaza Assault] (May 7, 2024): https://www.commondreams.org/news/jewish-students-support-gaza & https://mailchi.mp/israelpalestinecomms/jstudents
American Friends Service Committee: T­h­e C­o­m­p­a­n­i­e­s P­r­o­f­i­t­i­n­g f­r­o­m I­s­r­a­e­l­’­s 2­0­2­3­-­2­0­2­4 A­t­t­a­c­k­s o­n G­a­z­a (Updated on May 7, 2024): https://afsc.org/gaza-genocide-companies
‘I am leaving for the unknown.’ Palestinians fleeing Rafah describe their fear and despair (May 7, 2024): https://www.cnn.com/2024/05/06/middleeast/palestinians-flee-rafah-gaza-fear-despair-intl-hnk/index.html
Kenneth Roth: Biden Should Not Stand in the Way of the ICC (May 7, 2024): https://foreignpolicy.com/2024/05/07/biden-israel-hamas-icc-gaza-netanyahu-arrest/
Labour Party of Ireland Eurocandidate for Ireland South, Niamh Hourigan: European Union leaders must push for ceasefire in Gaza (May 7, 2024): https://labour.ie/news/2024/05/07/eu-leaders-must-push-for-ceasefire-in-gaza/
Labour Party of Ireland Further and Higher Education Spokesperson Senator Annie Hoey: Solidarity with Trinity College Dublin and University College Cork Students protest for Gaza (May 7, 2024): https://labour.ie/news/2024/05/07/solidarity-with-trinity-and-ucc-students-protest-for-gaza/
Letter by Bill Deutsch on behalf of the Decorah Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers): Urge immediate ceasefire in Gaza (May 7, 2024): https://www.postbulletin.com/opinion/letters/letter-urge-immediate-ceasefire-in-gaza
Letter by Ch. Lt Col (Ret.) Stephen Tillett to the Editor: Veteran Calls for Ceasefire in Gaza (May 7, 2024): https://baltimorepostexaminer.com/letter-to-the-editor-veteran-calls-for-ceasefire-in-gaza/2024/05/07
OPEN LETTER OF LEGAL CONCERNS REGARDING GAZA FROM LEGAL PROFESSIONALS, DOMESTIC & ABROAD [Signed by "27 legal professionals in their personal capacities who work for the following departments: 1. U.S. Department of Justice, 2. U.S. Department of Homeland Security, 3. U.S. Judiciary, 4. U.S. Department of Labor, 5. Social Security Administration, 6. U.S. Department of Energy, 7. Attorneys who did not list their agency; 156 legal professionals in their personal capacities from the 1. Private Sector, 2. Public Sector, 3. Legal Academia, 4. European Commission; And the following organizations: 1. Democracy for the Arab World Now, the brainchild of Saudi Arabian journalist Jamal Khashoggi, is a non-profit focused on efforts to promote democracy and human rights in the Middle East and North Africa. 2. Association of Muslim American Lawyers, which provides essential programs and activities to help support American Muslim Lawyers. 3. Law for Palestine, a non-profit registered in the United Kingdom and Sweden that aims to create a global network of professionals interested in Palestine and International Law."] (May 7, 2024): https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vSGlSvk3zHbzIsabUuh2EZxcrGvmbeP1u9U9leY-qWvCMA8fpVF1YV-0UnexNUd0VMXPUJeyMOitdRu/pub
Three Orange County medics describe wartime health care in Gaza: A once-modern string of hospitals has been reduced to desperate physicians and others relying on wits and luck. Most of their patients are children. (May 7, 2024): https://www.ocregister.com/2024/05/07/three-orange-county-medics-describe-wartime-health-care-in-gaza/
Vera Institute President Nicholas Turner: Police Violence on College Campuses is Unacceptable (May 7, 2024): https://www.vera.org/news/police-violence-on-college-campuses-is-unacceptable
ACLU’s national director of policy and government affairs Mike Zamore and ACLU senior policy counsel Kia Hamadanchy: A disturbing national security bill could silence nonprofits and college protests (May 8, 2024): https://thehill.com/opinion/national-security/4651053-a-disturbing-national-security-bill-could-silence-nonprofits-and-college-protests/
Al Jazeera shutdown in Israel spells 'dark day for democracy,' say media groups (May 8, 2024): https://www.voanews.com/a/al-jazeera-shutdown-in-israel-spells-dark-day-for-democracy-say-media-groups/7603956.html
Ann Wright, retired U.S. Army Colonel and former diplomat: If I had not resigned 21 years ago in opposition to Bush’s stupid war on Iraq, I certainly would have resigned long ago in opposition to US complicity in the Israeli genocide of Gaza (May 8, 2024): https://twitter.com/AnnWright46/status/1788257045973528838
Blinken Says Israeli Units Accused of Serious Violations Have Done Enough to Avoid Sanctions. Experts and Insiders Disagree. (May 8, 2024): https://www.propublica.org/article/blinken-israel-military-aid-human-rights-violations-leahy-law
Jeremy Brecher: Anti-Genocide Students Are Fulfilling Their Duty to Prevent War Crimes; Will You? (May 8, 2024): https://www.commondreams.org/opinion/students-prevent-war-crimes
Senator Bernie Sanders Statement on Biden’s Hold on Bomb Delivery to Netanyahu’s Government (May 8, 2024): https://www.sanders.senate.gov/press-releases/news-sanders-statement-on-bidens-hold-on-bomb-delivery-to-netanyahus-government/
The NYPD’s New Sizzle Reels Aren’t Just Dumb. They’re Dangerous. “This is copaganda, designed primarily to provide the mayor with political cover, but then also to show off the military might and alleged professionalism of the NYPD.” (May 8, 2024): https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2024/05/nypd-sizzle-reel-student-protests/
An open letter to Middlebury College from alumni in support of the Middlebury Gaza Solidarity Encampment [1000+ signatures] (May 9, 2024): https://www.middleburycampus.com/article/2024/05/an-open-letter-to-middlebury-college-from-alumni-in-support-of-the-middlebury-gaza-solidarity-encampment
Haim Bresheeth-Žabner deplores the rot in Israeli society: 'Israel has turned into a Nazi society': The son of Holocaust survivors, Haim Bresheeth-Žabner believes the majority of Israel has been taught to normalise the occupation of Palestine (May 9, 2024): https://www.newarab.com/features/son-shoah-survivors-israel-has-become-nazi-society
‘It’s not human’: What a French doctor saw in Gaza as Israel invaded Rafah: When asked about the conditions of the hospitals he worked in, Dr. Zouhair Lahna is pained by the memories of the sick, wounded and dying. (May 9, 2024): https://www.aljazeera.com/features/2024/5/9/its-not-human-what-a-french-doctor-saw-in-gaza-as-israel-invaded-rafah
Japanese American Citizens League Calls for Ceasefire in Gaza (May 9, 2024): https://jacl.org/statements/jacl-calls-for-ceasefire-in-gaza
Republicans Funded by Arms Industry Fume Over Biden Threat to Withhold Bombs From Israel (May 9, 2024): https://www.commondreams.org/news/republicans-israel-weapons
Senator Bernie Sanders Statement on Israel’s Threat to Attack Rafah (May 9, 2024): https://www.sanders.senate.gov/press-releases/news-sanders-statement-on-israels-threat-to-attack-rafah/
Students against genocide speak for themselves (May 9, 2024): https://newsandletters.org/students-against-genocide-speak-for-themselves/
Trapped in Rafah, I'm watching genocide unfold before my eyes: Gazan journalist Amjad Yaghi's eye-witness account in Rafah describes the horrors of Israel's ground invasion as Gazans desperately try to flee to safety. (May 9, 2024): https://www.newarab.com/opinion/trapped-rafah-im-witnessing-genocide-my-own-eyes
76 Universities in Spain Suspend Ties With Complicit Israeli Universities (May 10, 2024): https://bdsmovement.net/news/76-universities-spain-suspend-ties-with-complicit-israeli-universities
Armed Conflict Location and Event Data Project: US Student Pro-Palestine Demonstrations Remain Overwhelmingly Peaceful (May 10, 2024): https://acleddata.com/2024/05/10/us-student-pro-palestine-demonstrations-remain-overwhelmingly-peaceful-acled-brief/
Biden’s arms threat to Israel ‘better than nothing’ but too late, say U.S. officials who resigned over Gaza policy (May 10, 2024): https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/bidens-arms-threat-israel-better-nothing-late-say-us-officials-resigne-rcna151454
'Israel’s genocidal war in Gaza must end' – Sinn Féin Chairperson Declan Kearney tells Global Anti-Apartheid Conference on Palestine (May 10, 2024): https://vote.sinnfein.ie/israels-genocidal-war-in-gaza-must-end-kearney-tells-global-anti-apartheid-conference-on-palestine/
Rick Salutin: I protested at Columbia in 1968 and today’s campus protests give me hope (May 10, 2024): https://www.thestar.com/opinion/contributors/i-protested-at-columbia-in-1968-and-todays-campus-protests-give-me-hope/article_a505c180-0e32-11ef-9615-e3f88eb6e034.html
Right-wing media encourage invasion of Rafah, Biden impeachment: After the Israeli military seized a key border crossing for humanitarian aid into Gaza, Biden’s statement urging restraint from Israel was met with backlash from right-wing media figures (May 10, 2024): https://www.mediamatters.org/middle-east/right-wing-media-encourage-invasion-rafah-biden-impeachment
Senator Bernie Sanders Statement on Rafah (May 10, 2024): https://www.sanders.senate.gov/press-releases/news-sanders-statement-on-rafah/
Strapped down, blindfolded, held in diapers: Israeli whistleblowers detail abuse of Palestinians in shadowy detention center (May 10, 2024): https://www.cnn.com/2024/05/10/middleeast/israel-sde-teiman-detention-whistleblowers-intl-cmd/index.html
U.S. medical volunteers in Rafah hospital say they've never seen a worse health crisis (May 10, 2024): https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2024/05/10/1250490688/rafa-hospital-gaza-israel-war-middle-east
Pro-Israel website ramps up attacks on pro-Palestinian student protesters (May 11, 2024): https://www.reuters.com/world/name-shame-pro-israel-website-ramps-up-attacks-pro-palestinian-student-2024-05-11/
Sen. Lindsey Graham says Israel should do 'whatever' it has to while comparing the war in Gaza to Hiroshima and Nagasaki: The GOP senator compared Israel’s military operations to the U.S. dropping atomic bombs on Japan in World War II, saying, “Israel, do whatever you have to do.” (May 12, 2024): https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/sen-lindsey-graham-says-israel-whatever-comparing-war-gaza-hiroshima-n-rcna151828
Gazans strive to study as war shatters education system (May 13, 2024): https://www.reuters.com/world/middle-east/gazans-strive-study-war-shatters-education-system-2024-05-13/
‘Total outrage’: White House condemns Israeli settlers’ attack on Gaza aid trucks: Protesters block convoy, throw food into road and set fire to vehicles at Tarqumiya checkpoint near Hebron (May 13, 2024): https://www.theguardian.com/world/article/2024/may/13/total-outrage-white-house-condemns-israeli-settlers-attack-on-gaza-aid-convoy
Trump Wants to Deport Pro-Palestine Protesters—and GOP Lawmakers Are Filing Bills to Make It Happen: Republicans continue their push to punish dissent. (May 13, 2024): https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2024/05/trump-protesters-gop-marco-rubio-palestine-college-deport/
U.S. Army Officer Resigns From Defense Intelligence Agency Over Gaza Policy: Maj. Harrison Mann's letter criticized the U.S. for still supporting Israel, "which has enabled and empowered the killing and starvation" of Palestinians. (May 13, 2024): https://www.huffpost.com/entry/army-officer-resigns-defense-intelligence-agency-military-gaza-israel_n_664281dde4b04540de6e8c69
University of California Santa Barbara Sociology Department Faculty Letter Concerning Student Protests (May 13, 2024): https://www.soc.ucsb.edu/news/announcement/577
Columbia-Affiliated Union Theological Seminary Votes to Divest from Israel’s War on Gaza (May 14, 2024): https://www.democracynow.org/2024/5/14/serene_jones_union_theological_seminary
Fares Abraham: A Palestinian Christian Plea for Compassion in Gaza (May 14, 2024): https://wordandway.org/2024/05/14/a-palestinian-christian-plea-for-compassion-in-gaza/
Palestinians mark 76 years of dispossession as a potentially even larger catastrophe unfolds in Gaza (May 14, 2024): https://apnews.com/article/israel-palestinians-hamas-war-nakba-history-b5cea9556e516655c25598d5dbe54192
Amnesty International: Mass forced displacement in Gaza highlights urgent need for Israel to uphold Palestinians’ right to return (May 15, 2024): https://www.amnesty.org/en/latest/news/2024/05/mass-forced-displacement-in-gaza-highlights-urgent-need-for-israel-to-uphold-palestinians-right-to-return/
House Democrats Fume Over Unprecedented Israeli Rebuke Of Lawmakers: Congressional aides told HuffPost a May 8 letter from Israel's ambassador was “stunning,” “embarrassing” and “verging on offensive.” (May 15, 2024): https://www.huffpost.com/entry/israeli-ambassador-blasts-democrats-letter_n_6644fde3e4b00df0c6b6cba5
Lily Greenberg Call, Jewish staffer who quit Biden administration over Israel policy: ‘There are so many of us who feel this way’ (May 16, 2024): https://www.jta.org/2024/05/16/israel/lily-greenberg-call-jewish-staffer-who-quit-biden-administration-over-israel-policy-there-are-so-many-of-us-who-feel-this-way
The Unpunished: How Extremists Took Over Israel: After 50 years of failure to stop violence and terrorism against Palestinians by Jewish ultranationalists, lawlessness has become the law. (May 16, 2024): https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/16/magazine/israel-west-bank-settler-violence-impunity.html
University Professors Are Losing Their Jobs Over “New McCarthyism” on Gaza: As brutal police repression sweeps campus encampments, schools have been cutting ties with pro-Palestine faculty members without tenure. (May 16, 2024): https://theintercept.com/2024/05/16/university-college-professors-israel-palestine-firing/
With More Bombing And Less Aid, Gaza’s Humanitarians Are Feeling The Squeeze: Many Palestinian aid workers are facing an uphill battle trying to coordinate humanitarian assistance in Gaza while keeping their families safe. (May 16, 2024): https://www.huffpost.com/entry/more-bombing-less-aid-gaza-humanitarians-israel_n_6646934fe4b0dd63cd2bd6e5
Western nations (Australia, Canada, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, the Netherlands, New Zealand, South Korea, Sweden, the United Kingdom) urge Israel to comply with international law in Gaza (May 17, 2024): https://www.reuters.com/world/western-nations-urge-israel-comply-with-international-law-gaza-2024-05-17/
U.S. Scholars to University Presidents: Honor Peaceful Protesters Standing Up for Justice [1600+ signatures] (Last updated on May 19, 2024): https://static1.squarespace.com/static/656e69d1c90c203e4496ec8c/t/664b68d4991b9e5acfc7e6af/1716218068508/US+Scholars+to+University+Presidents+May+19+1%2C600%2B.pdf
French Ministry for Europe and Foreign Affairs: International Criminal Court – Prosecutor applies to ICC for arrest warrants ["For many months now, France has been warning about the imperative of strict compliance with international humanitarian law and particularly the unacceptable nature of the civilian losses in the Gaza Strip, and insufficient humanitarian access. France supports the International Criminal Court, its independence and the fight against impunity in every situation."] (May 20, 2024): https://www.diplomatie.gouv.fen/french-foreign-policy/international-justice/news/article/international-criminal-court-prosecutor-applies-to-icc-for-arrest-warrants-20
Hadja Lahbib, Belgian Minister of Foreign Affairs: "Crimes committed in Gaza must be prosecuted at the highest level, regardless of the perpetrators. The fight against impunity wherever crimes occur is a priority for Belgium. Belgium supports the work of the International Criminal Court. The Request submitted by the Court's prosecutor, Karim Khan, for arrest warrants against both Hamas and Israeli officials is an important step in the investigation of the situation in Palestine. Belgium will continue to support the essential work of international justice to ensure that those responsible for all crimes are held accountable." (May 20, 2024): https://x.com/hadjalahbib/status/1792527999784361999
Statement of ICC Prosecutor Karim A.A. Khan KC: Applications for arrest warrants in the situation in the State of Palestine (May 20, 2024): https://www.icc-cpi.int/news/statement-icc-prosecutor-karim-aa-khan-kc-applications-arrest-warrants-situation-state
Amnesty International: ICC applications for arrest warrants for Netanyahu, Sinwar and other senior Israeli and Hamas officials crucial step towards justice (May 21, 2024): https://www.amnesty.org/en/latest/news/2024/05/israel-opt-icc-applications-for-arrest-warrants-for-netanyahu-sinwar-and-other-senior-israeli-and-hamas-officials-crucial-step-towards-justice/
Backing settlement, Ben Gvir says he’d be ‘very happy to live in Gaza’ after the war: If ‘hundreds of thousands’ of Palestinians leave the Strip, ‘we will be able to bring in more and more people,’ National Security minister says (May 21, 2024): https://www.timesofisrael.com/backing-settlement-ben-gvir-says-hed-be-very-happy-to-live-in-gaza-after-the-wa
Harvard Faculty Overwhelmingly Vote to Allow Seniors Disciplined Over Encampment to Graduate (May 21, 2024): https://www.thecrimson.com/article/2024/5/21/faculty-vote-allow-suspended-seniors-graduate/
Israeli historian Ilan Pappé: I was detained at a US airport and asked about Israel and Gaza for 2 hours. Why? Border agents asked whether I believe Israel is committing genocide and what I think of popular protest slogans shortly after I landed in Detroit (May 21, 2024): https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/article/2024/may/21/ilan-pappe-israel-gaza-zionism
Nearly 500 Harvard Faculty, Staff Blast Sanctions Against Pro-Palestine Protesters in Open Letter (May 21, 2024): https://www.thecrimson.com/article/2024/5/21/harvard-faculty-staff-open-letter-ad-board/
The ICC Wants to Prosecute Israeli Leaders. The U.S.’s Rejection Threatens the Rules-Based Order (May 21, 2024): https://time.com/6980747/us-israel-gaza-icc-prosecution/
PREPARED REMARKS: Bernie Sanders on ICC Seeking Arrest Warrants for Hamas and Israeli Leaders Amidst the Ongoing Humanitarian Disaster in Gaza (May 22, 2024): https://www.sanders.senate.gov/press-releases/prepared-remarks-sanders-on-icc-seeking-arrest-warrants-for-hamas-and-israeli-leaders-amidst-the-ongoing-humanitarian-disaster-in-gaza/
Letter to President Biden Regarding Threats to the International Criminal Court [Signed by: Action Corps (US); Adehsur; The Advocates for Human Rights (US); The African Centre for Justice and Peace Studies (Sudan); African Francophone Coalitions for the ICC; Alliance for Peacebuilding; American Association for the International Commission of Jurists; American Friends Service Committee; Amnesty International USA; Aotearoa Lawyers for Peace (New Zealand); Arab Canadian Lawyers Association (Canada); Asociación Nacional de Centros de Investigación, promoción social y desarrollo (Peru); Asociación Pro Derechos Humanos (Peru); Association of Reintegration of Crimea (Ukraine and France); Atrocities Watch Africa; Australian Centre for International Justice (Australia); Ayus Network of Buddhists Volunteers on International Cooperation (Japan); Barah Aamen (Egypt); Basel Peace Office (Switzerland); BDS Tokyo (Japan); Brooklyn For Peace (US); Caminos de la Memoria (Peru); Canadians for Justice and Peace in the Middle East (Canada); Center for Civilians in Conflict; Center for Constitutional Rights (US); Center for Egyptian Women’s Legal Assistance (Egypt); Center for International Policy; Centro de Desarrollo Étnico (Peru); Centro de Investigación de Crímenes Atroces (Mexico); Centro de Investigación y Promoción de los Derechos Humanos (Honduras); Centro de Prevención Tratamiento y Rehabilitación de las Víctimas de la Tortura y sus Familiares (Honduras); Centro Investigación Capacitación Asesoría y Promoción (Peru); Chernobyl Hibakusha Support, Kansai (Japan); Citizens for Global Solutions (US); Colectivo por los Derechos de las Personas Adultas Mayores (Peru); Comisión de Derechos Humanos de El Salvador (El Salvador); Comisión de Justicia Social (Peru); Corporación Humanas Centro Regional de Derechos Humanos y Justicia de Género (Colombia); Darfur Women Action Group; Demand Progress Education Fund (US); Derechos Humanos y Medio Ambiente (Peru); Dominican Leadership Conference (US); Due Process of Law Foundation (US); Egyptian Commission for Rights and Freedoms (Egypt); Egyptian Human Rights Forum (France); Egyptians Without Borders Foundation (Egypt); Eleanor Lives! (US); Ensaaf (US); Fundación Ecuménica Para el Desarollo y la Paz (Peru); Ganoubia Hora (Egypt); Global Centre for the Responsibility to Protect; Global Justice Center; Grupo de Iniciativa Nacional por los Derechos del Niño; Historians for Peace and Democracy (US); Human Rights Center, UC Berkeley (US); Human Rights First (US); Human Rights Now (Japan); Human Rights Watch; iACT; Institute for Genocide and Mass Atrocity Prevention; Institute for the Study of Genocide; Instituto de Defensa Legal (Peru); Instituto de Democracia y Derechos Humanos de la Pontificia Universidad Católica del Perú; International Criminal Court Alliance (US); International Federation for Human Rights; J Street (US); Japan Campaign to Ban Landmines (Japan); Japan International Volunteer Center; Just Foreign Policy (US); KYOTO AALA (Japan); Laboratorio de Paz (Venezuela); Law and Democracy Support Foundation (Germany); Lawyers Alert (Nigeria); Legal Pact for the Future; Media Initiative for Human Rights (Ukraine); Middle East Democracy Center; Minnesota Peace Project (US); Movement Medicine Japan; Movimiento Jatarishun (Peru); MPower Change Action Fund; National Advocacy Center of the Sisters of the Good Shepherd United States; Network Against Japan Arms Trade; Network for Peace in Syria (Japan); Never Again Coalition (US); No Business With Genocide (US); No Peace Without Justice; Parliamentarians for Global Action; Passionists International (US); Pax Christi (US); Paz y Esperanza (Peru); Peace Action (US); Peace Direct (US); Piece of Syria (Japan); Plataforma de Comercio Justo y Consumo Ético Perú (Peru); Plataforma por la Democracia (Peru); Presbyterian Church (USA); Programa Venezolano de Educación Acción en Derechos Humanos (Venezuela); Red para la Infancia y la Familia – Peru; REDRESS Trust; The Regional Coalition for Women Human Rights Defenders in Southwest Asia and North Africa; Réseau Equitas Côte d’Ivoire; Robert F. Kennedy Human Rights; The Sentry; Sinai Foundation for Human Rights (Egypt); Sisters of Mercy of the Americas – Justice Team; StoptheDrugWar.org (US); Sudan Human Rights Network; The United Church of Christ (US); Ukrainian Legal Aid Foundation (Ukraine); US Campaign for Palestinian Rights; Veterans For Peace (US); Win Without War (US); WITNESS; Women for Weapons Trade Transparency; Women’s Active Museum on War and Peace (Japan); Women’s Initiatives for Gender Justice; World Federalist Movement – Institute for Global Policy; World Service Authority; World Without Genocide (US); YMCA of Japan; Zarga Organization for Rural Development (Sudan)] (May 22, 2024): https://www.coalitionfortheicc.org/sites/default/files/cicc_documents/Joint%20NGO%20Letter%20to%20President%20Biden%20on%20the%20International%20Criminal%20Court.pdf
‘Terrible idea’: Bernie Sanders on Netanyahu addressing Congress as ICC seeks his arrest (May 22, 2024): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88RCwqyEB4Q
Dr. Adam Hamawy Describes Desperate Conditions at Gaza Hospitals Amid Attacks & Lack of Supplies (May 23, 2024): https://www.democracynow.org/2024/5/23/gaza_hospitals
European Union staff sign letter expressing concerns over its handling of Gaza crisis: More than 200 signatories cite EU’s ‘continued apathy’ to plight of Palestinians and seek official call for ceasefire (May 24, 2024): https://www.theguardian.com/world/article/2024/may/24/more-than-200-eu-staff-sign-letter-expressing-concerns-over-gaza-crisis
"Very abnormal": Expert worries pro-Israel megadonors trying to make Dems a "pro-Netanyahu party" (May 24, 2024): https://www.salon.com/2024/05/24/very-abnormal-expert-worries-pro-israel-megadonors-trying-to-make-dems-a-pro-netanyahu-party/

so i (23F) have a friend/acquaintance that i’ve never been close with but have known on social media for years. (22M), we’ll call him Miles. to preface, we’ve never met. Miles has always been supportive of my artistic career as he has been in the arts too. however, over time it started to become too much. Miles would come to me for advice and would always ask to randomly call me. keep in mind, we weren’t close enough to just pick of the phone and chat like it’s nothing, atleast to me. he’d send me paragraphs praising me and telling me how amazing i am non stop and respectfully, i told him the same (just in a more condensed form, being nice.) but to me it was a bit of overkill. he has a fiancé, but always tells me how beautiful i am in my photos. i always overlooked it and just didn’t engage much. well recently, Miles asked me to work on an art project with him. i told him i’m very busy at the moment and would have to let him know. Miles went and told everyone that i’m working on the project with him without my yes. then he started calling me and texting me from multiple different phone numbers from different area codes. i have not responded because i’m weirded out. i feel bad, considering he’s always been supportive and kind. but it just feels like too much. and it’s overstepping my boundaries. should i respond to him? would i be awful for just leaving it be and not responding? thanks!

So this is going to be a long one. First of all, I dont know like the legal requirements for something to be considered a genocide. But innocent armenians being transported to the south without any protection and with being attacked by bandits is a genocide.
I also want to say that im only recognizing this for innocent civilians, not those who attacked the ottoman empire of course.
Now, I really dont know why we are denying a genocide done by the ottoman empire so harshly. I mean its the ottoman empire that did it not turkey. For those who didnt know, its actually banned to say things like "turkey is the ottoman empire" or anything that would suggest building the ottoman empire again or talking against atatürk or his ideologies like secularism or democracy or republicanism. Most of us even hate the ottoman empire. Most armenians ive met in turkey blame the genocide on abulhamid II and i do as well because he was the one who forced armenians to migrate and he didnt even do it only agaisnt armenians but others as well. He was a very authoritarian oppressive leader. He banned almost every art piece and newsmaking and many other things. So why are we even trying to defend him. He was kicked out of his throne by the young turks anyways. In the end, why would we carry the guilt of an emperor that we all dislike anyways i mean you wont even find one person in turkey liking abdulhamid II even those retarded islamist ottoman sympathizers.
Another thing is that i dont support armenia's claims in current turkish lands because it will only create more conflicts. Instead of trying to get lands from eachother, we should try to improve our countries through cooperation. Land doesnt mean much in these times anyways. I mean look at israel, they created a heaven out of a tiny useless wasteland desert. Fighting over territorries will only slow us down. They only way this can be done which sounds logical to me woudl be that armenia would give up some if its current lands and in exchange they would get ararat for example. What im trying to say is that i would only agree with this if this land exchange wouldnt involve a war.
Edit: I also forgot to say that it was the turks that ended the sultanate and the caliphate. We exiled the last sultan to britain after he betrayed the turks and sold our lands to britain. The treaty of serves was signed by the ottoman empire and it is still teh map of turkey that is recognized by armenia which is sad. This is why we hate the ottoman empire and its forbidden to say things like turkey is the ottoman empire. The family of the ottoman sultans were even forbidden from coming to turkey for a long time for that reason. Also I saw a lot of hatred against atatürk here. Ive met my fair share of armenians in istanbul and even they dont blame atatürk for the genocide and i think like that too because atatürk was just an ordinary soldier with a few promotions at that time. He didnt have any authority over the ottoman government to give an order like moving armenians out of the empire or anything.

Prior to her success with QWER, life has been constantly throwing curveballs at Siyeon:

• She always had a dream to be an idol, but failed many auditions in Korea.
  
• She got admitted to an arts university, but just before school started, she broke her ankle. Since crutches had to be used and the school was too far away, she ended up taking a year off.
  
• During the 1 year break, she signed with an entertainment agency, and so dropped out of school and became a trainee.
  
• The debut got cancelled, so she looked into studying at a Japanese university.
  
• It was at this time when she came across the recruitment notice for NMB48. Siyeon was interested in Japanese idols and AKB48 since elementary school, so she applied - and passed the 1st & 2nd auditions.
  
• Covid19 happened, and since travel between Korea and Japan got restricted, she wasn't able to complete her audition. For the next 1 and a half years, her status in NMB48 was in limbo, while her peers in the audition got to debut as the 7th generation. She finally entered NMB48 in 2021 as the sole 7.5 generation member.
  
• While she gained invaluable experiences and loved the group and fans, she became worried about the future as she already was one of the older members of the group. Despite receiving a wage, barely anything was left after paying rent and living expenses.
  
• Whether it is due to barely making ends meet living alone in a foreign country, dealing with hate comments or being disappointed in herself with performances and rankings, she reached her limit and broke down during a heartbreaking livestream back in May 2023. A rough translation between 2:05 - 5:10:
  

I don't know if I can, but if I can, I want to work hard and increase my chances of standing on the summer concert stage.
Honestly... It's really, really painful... It's really hard. It's... In the beginning... When I joined the team, I was full of hope and had the mindset push through with hardwork and enjoyment. But now that feeling is completely gone.
I'm not sure if it's okay to keep going like this... I really like you all, I truly like you all, but honestly, I really... I really don't know. I don't know what to do.. what should I do... Now I'm so exhausted... I'm exhausted.

She was at one of the low points in life, but just a couple of days later when Siyeon opened Instagram live to chat with her fans, she received a life-changing message from a Korean fitness youtuber named Kim Egg.
Kim Egg is famous as a youtuber in Korea, but since Siyeon had already spent a few years in Japan by then, she actually had no idea who Kim Egg was, besides that he was famous.
For a while now, Kim Egg actually had in mind an idea to create a 4-member girl band with a vocalist, guitar, bass and drums (Inspired by anime such as K-On! and Bocchi the Rock!). The Bass, guitar and drummer were already recruited in the previous couple of months, and with only the vocalist position left, Siyeon decided to open a new chapter in life by accepting Kim Egg's invitation to become the 'R' in 'QWER'.
Here is the actual moment that Kim Egg met and talked with Siyeon in Japan. FYI, the entire formation & recruitment process of QWER was made into a 18-part series on Youtube, so I highly recommend checking the whole thing out if you're interested.
As of May 2024, QWER's popularity in Korea exploded along with their first EP 'Manito' and title track 'T.B.H' - peaking at no.3 on the Melon chart.
Looking back at Siyeon in 2018 passionately performing with her dance team at a Hongdae street, with yesterday's performance at Korea University's legendary Ipselenti festival, I can't think of a person more deserving of this success than Siyeon.

Several women in this group have blocked me on Facebook for contacting them privately. You know......the irony is that whenever I contact my fellow men from this group I am generally met with an enthusiastic response. I wonder why that is....
I could use my status within this group to humiliate all of you. But I'm a gentleman and the torment it would put you through does not comply with my ethics. You skanks know who you are, and if you're even capable of reading this, here were my true intentions. Hopefully you'll come around to changing your mind about me (if you're not a complete idiot that is).
First off, yes I'll admit I find some of you pretty attractive. I am a normal, healthy, biological male. Of course I'm attracted to women, and that should be seen as a compliment. That does not automatically mean my intentions were to sleep with you. I don't understand how the words 'Hi, how are you?' gets translated into 'Hi, do you have a boyfriend?' When we started having a conversation in one of the threads did I precede my comment with 'Hi, sorry I'm already attracted to someone else' Sure, maybe some day after getting to know each other a bit more, an infatuation might develop and we could start dating. But women these days seem to think that hetero men are incapable of having a platonic relationship with the other sex. To the girl who showed her dad my message and made him call the cops: Do you have any idea just how ironic that is? I was trying to explain to you how Atwood's 'The Handmaid's Tale' has been severely misinterpreted by third wave feminists. And then you convinced a man to apply authoritarian powers on me, merely for the fact that I am a male. It turns out that men can also be oppressed in society, as was Atwood's intended message of her novel.
To the girl who called me an 'Incel' for trying to discuss Nabokov's magnum opus 'Lolita.' Your lame feminist buzzwords have no bearing on my mental health. Do you really think I like it based solely around the hebophilia? I would encourage you to read it , as the prose is magnificent. But judging by your less than impressive vocabulary, I doubt you would be able to understand it.
To the girl who called me a loser and said I was trying to show off because I said you should read Tolstoy's epic 'War and Peace': I wasn't aware that reading something was suddenly a huge achievement. The fact that I wanted you to read it meant that I believed you were the rare type of woman who could endure such a lengthy piece of literature. The irony is that later in another thread I saw you talking about how you read all the Harry Potter books before you turned 12. It's plainly obvious to see that you view the arts in the most superficial way possible. There's no way I would ever date someone like that.

Sorry for the self promo but I know you are my people and I wanna share this with some sicko freaks like you.
RECTANGLES is my original solo performance-art clown musical where I compare the feeling of people-pleasing to eating and then pooping out blocks!!! Yeah that's RIGHT - this honkin horn bozo baby is gonna pretend to eat wooden blocks BONK BONK and then delightfully depict pooping them out with some wild singing and some silly puppets! It's a punk-rock opera that feels like if Bjork met Pee-wee's Playhouse! 3 years in the making this show has made audiences gawd and bawk 30+ times already!!! It's my heart and soul and my big butthole (more info about my butthole to follow!)
The Hollywood Fringe Festival is coming up next month and I'll be having 5 shows throughout June at the LGBT center in the Davidson/Valentini theatre.
CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO AND TICKETS

How I met my abusive (ex) boyfriend
I "dated" a pedophile. It started when I was 13 and he was 17. When I was 13 I was interested in drawing, illustrating, making comics, digital art, the whole shebang really. I had a DeviantArt with cringy meme drawings and Lion King OC's judge me all you want I was a kid, I made Harry Potter fanfics I was 13. I made an account on a now deleted website called Art Spots. It was like Aggie.io or drawesome. You just drew online with random other people and there was a chatbox on the side and, in retrospect I think it was a furry website... Anyway, one day someone popped in and said they liked my drawing and they asked how old I was. I said I was 13, they said they were 17 and they thought my art was sooo good that I had to be an art teacher or smth. This may seem like a compliment and it is especially from someone older than me, and that's exactly what I was thinking but considering what would later happen this is called "grooming" which is when someone builds an emotional connection with a child to gain their trust for the purpose of sexual abuse, explotation or trafficking. The predator gains the child's trust, breaks down their defenses and then convinces them to engage in their sick and disgusting desires. This guy shared his entire life story with me, he was graduating high school, had a crush on this girl who friendzoned him and he was severely depressed and all he wanted was a "friend" but, and this is important. He told me to never tell my parents about our "friendship" why you may ask? "Because they wouldn't understand us, we're like Romeo and Juliet, okay?" Which is what he said. So eventually we moved our conversation to AIM, then Skype and eventually texting, as time went on he demanded more and more of me and he never seemed to understand that I was 3 hours ahead of him. I lived in NC and he lived in CA so I couldn't exactly stay up late and chat to him every night. So he accused me of ignoring him and hating him and one night when I fell asleep I woke up to a barrage of text from him saying he would kill himself because I was ignoring him and after hours of calling and texting him saying I was sorry and it wouldn't happen again and he finally responded and, thankfully he was alright and okay. But I was not, at 13 I couldn't imagine being the reason someone killed themselves no matter how much stay up till 1, 2 or 3AM was destroying me but from that night on out of fear I stayed awake. By highschool our "friendship" completely took over my life because when I was with friends and family he'd do anything to make me abandon them to talk to him, he'd blow up my phone during dinner and if I didn't respond he'd call me awful things just to bait my into giving him attention. Heck even during prom night he tried convincing me to stay home and when I refused he went silent which worried me to death and he later explained he did this as punishment for "ignoring" him. He would do anything and everything to keep to isolated from friends and family. His favourite tactic was threatening suicide! Even if I logged off he had my home address so he could SWAT me. Death was something he constantly held over my head. That's terrifying for a high schooler. So why did I stay? Stockholm syndrome. So every time he threatened suicide I would talk him off the cliff by saying exactly what he wanted to hear. After months and years of saying exactly what he wanted to hear I started to believe it. Just like he wanted. I felt brainwashed, trapped in my own mindgames and slowly he broke me down, made me choose sides and do anything he wanted. Why did he wanted me so badly? Well, when I was 15 he used these tactics to take inappropriate pictures of me and save them in his computer in what he called his "Personal Collection" by this time, he had just turned 21. This is where our friendship turned into a relationship. Everday, after-school, during the summer even when I was at work he demanded I dropped whatever I was doing and send him no less than 30 nude photos of myself per day and when I said no (which I did) he'd find a way to force me. I remember one time I begged him for hours to leave me alone. I even told him this was considered CP and that he could be arrested. Now you think anyone who was confronted with this kind of information. They'd go "Oh man, I don't wanna go to jail" nope, not Haris. These pictures of me were so important he'd do anything to get them so he found a way to deny, deflect and blame me for everything. This is called gaslighting which is where the abuser denies reality and convinces the victim do doubt their own memory, perceptions and sanity. Like always Haris threatened suicide if I didn't go along with him. So when I tried to tell him what he's doing is wrong, disgusting and against the law I ended up being the one apologising to him. For making him cry! This went on until I graduated high school and went to college and remembered that girl who friend zoned him in high school? Around this time she reached out to me telling me to run and block him, to cut him off immediately because truly he harassed her in high school, stalked her in real life and when she blocked his phone number. Haris used a website to make up fake phone numbers so he could still contact and harass her. I didn't want to think this was true but then again if it happened to someone else maybe it was. So I brought these allegations up to Haris and he became so angry at me. He denied doing any of that despite the proof she presented. He accused me of lying, he told me to never speak her again and he demanded all of my password on social media to make sure of it. He also threatened to kill me and then himself if I didn't comply. Also I couldn't have said no because I was terrified, you don't know what it was like! You don't get to say "You could've just said no" to me and millions of other young children who are lured into this kind of evol every day! We don't need to be told what to do or how to feel because we've had enough of that from the awful people who hurt us. What we need is for someone to finally listen and believe us. People like Haris to not deserve the benefit of the doubt or your empathy. People like him thrive when others are complaisent the more we turn the other cheek and say "that's none of my business" or even worse, blame the child for the evil they had to bear and the childhood they had to sacrifice. The more this happens, the more that people like Haris get away with it and do it again. This is why I'm telling you this story years after it happened. I want to warn others, especially those watching who are as young as I was! Sadly this story is only the tip of the iceberg.
TL;DR: When I was 13 a 17 year old called Haris complimented my art (which was actually grooming) and when I was 15 it escalated to me sending 50+ nude photos. The reason I didn't tell anyone was because I developed Stockholm Syndrome. If I failed to obey his commands he'd threaten suicide and one day an ex of his warned me to block him everywhere but Haris gaslit me into almost giving him all my passwords to ensure I blocked the lady. I told this story to spread awareness of pedophillia. PS: He also stopped me from going to prom to chat with him.