Venezuela abortion death photos

My bf and I went through a hard patch. He has no one for family love and as a Hispanic family that I have, they love him like his own. He admit he’s a bit jealous of how my mom is sweet to me. His mom is a drug abuse and alcoholic. She told her two sons (my bf and his brother) that they were failed abortions when they were 8, The mother “Sania” was raised by her father who was in WW2 military and a stepmom who was always flying and both parents didn’t give her love but only money. Sania became a drugie and the husband stole 30K and left her because Sania was cheating on him with another drugie. At least that’s what I’ve been told. Both drugies didn’t care about the kids but instead they put them in a room and locked them with no food like animals. At Age 16 my bf escaped the house with his brother and came to their step grandma because she was all they had/knew. One day, his grandma who raised them since 16 died and Sania came, not to see the old lady dying but to steal some jewelry because she was known for being a drug abuse. She brought her pets (2 big dogs, 3 jellyfish, 2 birds and 1 fish) and car, her 2 kids because she became pregnant of the drugie age 25, and she brought her new Puerto Rico bf too, as if she was moving in. My bf wanted me to be with him through hard times but I had school and he didn’t, I had my job but he quit his. I was exhausted and I was there in the hospital when I could, and so were some of my fam members. My family didn’t have to see him, they did it out of heart. You must know I do not drive because of my mental illness. And I can’t take Ubers because I don’t trust them if I have a seizure. Anyway, The operated day I was at home didn’t wanted to see him because I was exhausted emotionally and who knew if all my emotions came out and I could have a seizure. He got mad and broke down and spoke to Sania that I wasn’t there. The next day, I came to the hospital and Sania in front of him, his brother, said quietly “fat cow” quietly that only I could hear. I’m 5’8 and I weight 149 so Im in a good shape. I said “sorry for not coming to the operation”. Then she said out loud “everything that your boyfriend said and what you’ve done is a disappointment, we will talk later”. I said “yes”. Acting as if she was my mom. My bf didn’t defend or said anything to her. He stayed quiet looking at his grandma in hospital bed. Don’t forget I apologized the same day of the operation for not seeing him through text. His mom spoke bad about me to him and telling him to dump me, until I dumped him. I couldn’t take hearing all his problems it was causing me anxiety. He apologized to me 3 months after his grandma death. And his mother left our city and I didn’t want him back until he brought me flowers, we hanged out and it felt normal. He joined an academy. So I accepted him back. It turned out he was going to another girl’s house behind my back with 2 more guys. I know I shouldn’t have checked his phone but he was being secretive. He stopped talking to her and I never knew if he cheated but he was “30 min from Orlando” at least that’s what the message said with hearts. And he met her parents. We’re together it’s been up and down. But we’re loving each other and going on dates. I’m still with him and he’s taking bout kids with me and we’re only 21/22🤨.

Previous
So, if you’re just joining us, I work at a haunted zoo now. Since I’ve gotten some rest, it feels like I’ve got my head on straight, at least, so I’d like to continue where I left off.
I sat on the floor in the office after meeting the ghost until I’d settled my rattled mind (and realized I’d forgotten to ask her name, how rude is that?). I took a deep breath and got up off the floor. Walking over and falling into the rolling chair in front of the large screen of camera views, when I brought up the camera that covered the area in which I’d spotted her, she was still there, and it seemed she hadn’t moved an inch.
Sitting there, at a loss, I continued to watch her. The ghost hung around for another five minutes or so, appearing to look at a few things off-screen, though I’m not sure what. Then she walked off into the forest and left the view of the cameras. I wasn’t sure if she vanished into the ether or if she’d gone looking into the trees to look for something.
But that wasn’t the end of the job interview, so let me jump back there. It continued into what kind of animals the zoo had, with Andrew asking me how much experience I had with dangerous animals.
I took a moment to consider the question. “So, ah…I’ve been going hunting and fishing with a neighbor since I was sixteen,” I told him. “We always have to keep an eye out for gators, bears, and hogs. Then there’s snakes, of course…snapping turtles… Since I’ve lived here my whole life and been aiming for a job with wildlife for a long time, I know a lot about the animals in Arkansas in general. But good advice for all of the above is avoid them, so I’ve had encounters, but I don’t know if you’d say I have experience with them.”
“That’s fine,” Andrew said, nodding. “That’s an answer I’m satisfied with. Now, the ghost was the appetizer, Ripley; here’s the main course. To start with, the pay isn’t twenty-five an hour. It’s fifty.”
Staring in shock for a moment, I asked, “Are you serious?”
“Yeah. But that’d be weird to post online considering what applicants think we need, so I halved it.”
“That’s… Okay, why?”
“The animals are already here. You just can’t see them.”
I stared at him for a long moment, some disbelief worming its way into my expression, before saying, “Sorry, what?”
“There’s a chance you’d naturally never see them, or at least some of them,” he continued casually. “It depends on both your genetics and how long you stay on the job. I can naturally see six of them, but that’s it. Suzanne can see all of them, and more. Some are what people would label demons or ghosts. Or magic. Mostly you’d call them cryptids. The ghost was just a warm-up; I mentioned her first because it never takes more than a week to see her if you work the night shift. If you manage to handle her okay, soon you’ll be able to see the animals too. The more time you spend on the grounds, for weird reasons,” he said, wiggling his fingers in the direction of the back door, “the more you’ll be able to see.”
“So, this…this is a zoo for cryptids,” I echoed slowly. He nodded once, waiting to find out what kind of reaction I would have. I gestured vaguely around the room. “If this is a hidden camera show, will you cut me a check for showing up and participating?”
Andrew coughed out a chuckle and shook his head. “No joke. There are a ton of stories out there that have been written to death, pulverized until they’re not the Grimm stories of old and instead they’re Disney films. A lot of those stories come from what some humans have seen. There are dozens of other worlds pressed up against ours, and occasionally things come through by accident. If they’re smart, they’ll lay low and then make their way back when they can. If not, they become local folklore until someone helps them back. I’m just from London, but Suzanne is from somewhere else. She hires people like us for this zoo. Humans.”
Sighing, I shook my head. “That makes no sense. Why would she hire a muggle for a magic zoo?”
Andrew burst out laughing at that, and then waited to gather himself before he continued. “Fair point, but this is less about magic and more about animals, and you’re missing some information that will explain it. First of all, if I misjudge an employee, and they think they can make bank by outing the endangered and valuable animals we have, it’s easy to relocate the zoo.”
“Because magic?” I asked.
“Exactly,” he replied, ignoring the thread of skepticism in my tone. “That means it isn’t the end of the world if that happened, though it is a pain in the arse. But second…let me ask you a question. Speaking of reality shows, say the Discovery Channel put out a call to replace Steve Irwin when he passed. Imagine they had a line out the door,” he said with a gesture, “of people who thought they had the skill and natural talent to replace him, to take on everything he’d been doing his whole life. How many do you reckon would lose an arm, a leg, or their life, by the end of the day?”
My lips parted in surprise and I narrowed my eyes at him. “You’re saying people from…wherever…they’re just as dumb as humans, but they’re worse, because they actually think they can handle these things.”
Andrew pointed the pen at me. “Things. Exactly. You called them things. Suzanne and her friends grew up with them and would call them animals. These animals have dispositions and temperaments that we’ve studied for as long as there have been scientists. Where Suzanne’s from, they know the weaknesses of these animals, and also they’re in enclosures here, even if you and I can’t see the walls because they’re invisible things called ‘wards’. If I hire someone who’s got magic on top of all that, they’ll have almost no instinctive fear.
“Everything here is nocturnal, and every one of them is a hunter. Some of these things? Humans see them and they pass out. Not that I want you passing out, but I need someone who is scared of these things, who knows to stay out of the enclosures no matter what. Not someone who thinks they can train them to do tricks, who gets close enough for them to grab a mouthful of hair and drown them. Once, we had a night shift manager injured, and once killed, because they didn’t take these animals seriously enough.”
Thinking back to the Sea World orca incident I knew he’d been referencing, I remembered wondering how someone at that level of her profession could be so careless as I watched the video on YouTube. It made sense when he explained it like that. I hesitated before mentally throwing my hands up and going all in. “So, why put this place here, then? If they’re endangered and also dangerous, why have a zoo at all instead of just a small reserve?”
He pursed his lips, looking disappointed in me. “Ripley. You know that already. You already said as much.”
Thinking back through our conversation, I said, “The rich humans who pay top dollar to see supernatural animals.”
“Not humans,” he told me. “But people, yes, and they are rich, and they’re making donations and spending their money on a ticket here because everything we have is endangered.”
“So…”
I just let my voice trail off and my mind started to drift. Andrew remained silent, letting me do so. There’s that thing people say, ‘I believe that you believe it,’ which is just a kinder way of saying, ‘Bullshit.’ Parents say it about closet monsters. Psychologists say it to people who say they’ve been abducted and probed by aliens. I wanted to say it to Andrew.
But I also wanted a job. If it meant working overnight at an empty zoo, that was fine. When it came down to it, especially when I took the tone of our conversation into account, this was a zoo specifically focused on preserving endangered ‘animals’, and it was allegedly doing important work. Also, if this turned out to be the real deal and I started seeing the animals, I would deal with it, just like I would deal with an enclosure that had a lion or tiger or gorilla. If it came with a ghost and invisible creatures, I really didn’t see what the difference was, if I couldn’t go in the enclosures either way.
On that note, I’d like you to imagine a kid who looks at a roller coaster, watching everyone screaming and grinning as they go up and down and all around and they’re like, ‘Heck, I could do that! That looks like a blast!’
Then they get on, the first drop hits, and they realize they’ve made a terrible mistake.
“All right,” I sighed. “I can’t say I’m going to turn down a job just because it’s going to be scary. Especially not one with this paycheck.”
Andrew smiled. “Awesome. There’s an adjustment process for anyone working here, similar to a dog that gets adopted, actually. I know the general guidelines of, ‘three days, three weeks, three months’ in terms of milestones, until they finally feel they’re where they’re supposed to be,” he told me, “and you can think of your time here along those lines. I really think you’re a great fit, and once you reach the milestone of working here for three months, I’ll officially consider you our new night shift guard. And I hope you’ll stay with us for many years.”
I nodded and smiled at the flattery of an employer wanting me to work a great job for them for a long time. I’d never had a dog, but those milestones were well-known among anyone who knew animals, especially dogs. The first three days, the dog is getting to know its new digs, exploring, and decompressing. At three weeks, they’ve gotten used to their environment and are starting to get comfortable with their surroundings and the routines of the humans they live with. By three months, they know the rules and follow them, they trust you, and they feel they are where they’re meant to be. I could only hope to be so lucky.
I saw the ghost two days ago and she has yet to make another appearance (for those who are curious, I asked, and her name is Leila), and I still hadn’t seen any animals. I did hear one, though, I feel compelled to note. A growling roar sounded from the lake on occasion, echoing across the vast zoo, sending a shiver down my spine. Whatever that animal was, it sounded gigantic.
Andrew said there was apparently a group that wanted to visit for a birthday and they were offering a huge donation, so he let me know they were making an exception and that this group would be walking through the park that night. That meant I’d be watching people watching animals that, as far as I could tell, weren’t there.
It was anticlimactic. Even the three people who came for the tour just looked like people, not like aliens or something eldritch from another dimension, and I stayed in the security office the whole time. Andrew was the one giving the tour. I watched them spend about five minutes at each enclosure, the hour or so that they were there passing without incident. It was clear that they were able to see all the animals, though, since they motioned excitedly at each enclosure and spoke to Andrew, who presumably answered any questions they had.
If they could see the animals, that was that. There was still that niggle in the back of my head, from my twenty-three years of life never encountering anything like ghosts or cryptids, telling me that this was ridiculous. Waiting for someone to knock on the door, a camera mounted on their shoulder, to tell me that it was a big joke and they wanted to see how long I’d play along. But from all I saw, this was a real place with real, invisible animals.
I do carry a taser and pepper spray in my capacity as a security guard. Though it isn’t for the animals, since they’re in the enclosures; they’re actually for the rare instance of a break-in. Andrew mentioned that it had happened several times it the past, someone trying to steal an animal in the hopes of selling it on the black market. They’d been successful before, but apparently my predecessor Roger was good at his job, and mostly they left in handcuffs.
I’ll be honest, I’m not a huge fan of confrontation, but my job was to call Andrew and then confront the person, not kick their ass. That’s what the police were for, or rather, the people Andrew would call in lieu of police in certain situations.
Fifty bucks an hour. That’s the key here.
Andrew hadn’t set up direct deposit, since he was sticking with a strategy of waiting to see if I’d continue to work there once I found out myself dealing with the animals (I’ve decided I am going to just call them animals). Instead, I got an old-fashioned check after my shift every Friday. The number on the first check was delightful. I went out that evening and had a big dinner at the local diner, order my most expensive favorites on the menu and a big slice of pie for dessert.
When it came to the paychecks in general, though, I had this weird feeling of not wanting to tell my dad and brother about the fact that it was actually $50/hr. I previously mentioned that my dad, his name’s Nathan if you’re curious, works at a local grocery store. Our town has a couple food franchises, but I think its size is just short of whatever threshold Walmart uses to decide where to open. He earns $14/hr. and that’s after the tiny raises he’s gotten over the past thirteen years.
That’s not to say he’d feel bad about not making as much as me. On the contrary, he would be ecstatic for me and really proud. But, like me, he’d be suspicious. That hourly rate was the biggest hint that this was more than just a private zoo for cryptids. And as soon as that fat check cleared without problems, my dad wouldn’t be satisfied with reassurances; he’d want to come visit the zoo and look around.
I’d told him it’s a private preservation with scheduled (expensive) visits only and that it had only eleven animals, so he’d been appeased by me brushing off the idea of a visit. Also, I took a few photos of my workplace; one of the security room, one of me sitting in my chair, one photo of the many screens I watched, and a selfie where I was feigning sleep out of boredom, slouched in my chair with my mouth open in a faux snore. That let him feel like he knew where I was and what I was doing, and that I was safe.
But if I told him I was making double what he thought, my father would practically order me to quit. No job was worth my safety, he’d tell me. I was quite of the opposite opinion, however, considering how crucial any and all conservation efforts were these days. Especially with the steep extinction levels due to humans competing with other animals for space, not to mention climate change. Working in any job that helped preserve species and keep ecosystems in balance, or put them back in balance, was so important.
Then again, my father would also point out something I had realized right away: the fact was that I was working with endangered species that were not from Earth. I wasn’t helping my planet. To be honest, though…that didn’t matter to me. Especially after that talk with Andrew about why he hired a human for this job, I figured whichever dimension these animals came from had the equivalent of us, razing forests to the ground, clouding the planet with pollution, and leaving the animals with no avenue of recourse when yet more land was taken from them.
I really do hope to keep working here for a long time, though, and not just because of the money. I can’t help it; I want to know what these things were, and I want to work with them, to do the job of a zookeeper. The same way you go up to the chain-link fence to get close to a carnivore on the other side who thinks you’d make a nice afternoon snack. You just want to be closer to them, to experience that incredible, daunting feeling of being in their presence.
Unsurprisingly, it wasn’t long before I got what I wanted.
The day after we had the tour go through, I was doing my sweep when I saw the ghost again. She was sitting on a small boulder in the same area I’d seen her the first time, looking identical, blood covering the front of her slashed shirt, the wounds visible underneath. I stopped and stood there for a moment before I decided to raise my hand in a small wave.
The young woman cocked her head at me and raised a hand in the air in an imitation of my gesture, her expression showing a bit of curiosity.
She was low-key, seemingly not concerned with my presence, looking at me as a novel phenomenon in her world. I wondered what that world consisted of. Was she always here, sometimes visible and sometimes not? Or did she have another world next to ours, in the ether, where she left everything in this world behind and floated in her disembodied form? Did she still feel emotions? Was that really curiosity on her face, or was I projecting? Did she feel happiness? Fear? Did she have the option of moving on, or was she stuck here?
Many questions that I might never get the answers to. And that was assuming Andrew knew the answers, since I’d never met Suzanne Cooper and he hadn’t even mentioned that possibility. This place was clearly her baby, but I’m sure running it was a lot of work. Plus, if she was rich enough to own it, she was rich enough to have other businesses and charities to run.
When it comes to the enclosures, they’re all wrapped by a barrier of some kind, though never one that seems adequate. There was not a single place with the ugly metal weavings of a chain-link fence, and no stretches of circular razor wire. Instead, there are nice fences. Black iron, or wrought steel fencing in a similar style to the one circling the perimeter of the zoo, just shorter and with different patterns. Or a spaced picket fence, the wood stained in some tone of brown, or a split two-rail fence. As if to say, ‘This is the border of your enclosure, but we’re just letting you know out of courtesy.’
When I started to pass enclosure number seven last night, a young woman’s voice spoke, “Hello.”
I startled, unaware that I hadn’t been alone. “Oh. Hi,” I said, staring at her standing a few yards in.
She had been next to a large tree and I hadn’t seen her. This enclosure was behind a picket fence, and she walked through the large area of wild grasses and flowers that stretched across the other side of the fence. There were fewer tall grasses closer to the fence, which I guessed was because it had been tromped down by her regular pacing along it when there were visitors, or if she wanted to see the various enclosures of the zoo. Her sudden appearance was a bit weird, considering I had been expecting to see a cryptid and instead I was looking at, it seemed, an attractive Asian woman.
She wore a black kimono, the soft silk robe draped gently over her body, with beautiful patterns of cherry blossoms, more so over her left side, and red and blue birds with their wings spread. A sash wrapped around her abdomen, she wore socks and sandals on her feet, and her hair was up in those rolls that gave volume to the style.
I was no expert on any fashion, much less that of another country, so I just assumed it was all traditional Japanese clothing. Most likely, the visitors who came liked to see a certain time-honored style and that’s what she stuck with. Or maybe she played on stereotypes. That would be amusing.
“I’m Yui. It’s nice to meet you,” she spoke, arriving at the border of the fence and holding out a hand for me to shake.
I’d been standing about three yards away from her, and I’ll be honest, muscle memory tried to kick in. But I only made it two steps, my hand starting to rise, before I froze, the hand falling limply at my side. “Nice to meet you, too,” I answered, my voice quiet.
Damn. I wonder how many times that honey trap works back where she comes from.
The pleasant look on her face faded, and she lowered her hand. “You won’t shake hands with me? Isn’t that rude?”
“I mean, I kind of like my hand where it is. You know, attached to me.”
Her demure smile widened into something more amused. “I would never do something so revolting.”
Looking her up and down, as if more visual information would give me more knowledge of what she was, I asked her, “What would you do?”
“I would be less wasteful,” she said softly.
A finger of ice trailed down my spine, and I had the sudden image in my head of her grabbing my outstretched hand in an iron grip and yanking me over the fence, leaving me to sprawl on the ground. Then killing and consuming me efficiently, without a single careless step, the same way humans slaughtered pigs, using everything from the hog but the squeal. I was struck with a shiver at the idea of her consuming everything from me but my screams.
Slowly, I took one step further down the path, then another. Just as I got to a walking pace, though, I realized the woman had started walking too, in the same direction. I’d have eventually gotten to the end of her enclosure and keep going, leaving her behind, but she spoke up. “Are you leaving?”
I came to a stop, meeting her gaze again. “My job is to walk the zoo every hour. Then I’ll get back to the security room and stay there until my next walk.”
“Have you met the others yet?”
I hesitated before saying, “Just Leila.”
She blinked languidly. “That means nobody welcomed you here.”
“Andrew did.”
She didn’t reply to that. Instead, she slowly started to lean forward, and I flinched backward a few steps further as I saw insect legs start curling out from her back.
No. Not insect. Arachnid.
The eight legs ended in small ‘paws’ with tiny claws, a layer of hairs covering the leg from top to bottom, like any typical tarantula. I took two more slow steps back and my mouth went dry as the jointed legs just kept lengthening, until they were large enough to lever her off the ground.
My gaze had been on the spider legs, but my heart skipped a beat as I realized her human legs had melded together and turned into a bulging abdomen. Her skin was shifting to a carapace, eventually all the way up to her shoulders and down her arms, her fingers elongating and her nails stretching to claws. From there down, her body was that of a pale tarantula with pedipalps the size of my arms and piercing fangs in her jaws that looked like they could take my head off.
There was a moment, my vision blurring, where I was worried that I might piss myself. The part of my brain that still had its humor intact in that moment told me that I should keep an emergency set of clothes in my car, or at the very least, start wearing Depends to work.
“I show you my true form,” she said softly, her voice now raspy like an eighty-year-old after a lifelong smoking habit. “Welcome to Suzanne Cooper’s zoo. The night shift guard for many years was Roger, before he retired and the zoo moved, and I miss him dearly. What should I call you?”
I choked on my words. There was no way my throat was going to cooperate enough for me to clearly get a sentence out. Instead, I realized my legs had taken control of the situation themselves, unsatisfied with my conscious brain’s decision to stand and stare, taking steps backward. I backed up a yard, then five yards, then ten.
My mind focused on the fact that spiders don’t waste anything, and pictured my demise. I’d be wrapped in a cocoon, killed, and made nice and mushy before she had me for dinner.
The whole time, my brain was a frenzied mess, my pupils were probably the size of dimes, and I was staring at that tiny, pathetic fence between her and me. There was so much adrenaline pumping through my body that I felt like my bones were vibrating. The fence was, to my eyes, the only thing between us. The only thing keeping her from tackling and killing me. My only hope was that she’d do it quickly.
But she didn’t move. As I absorbed her innocent, polite words, the look on her face was calm, and I wondered if this was typically the way a conversation went before she devoured her prey. I wondered how many people she’d eaten. Not humans, not people from Earth, but the ones from where she came from. The fact that she doesn’t scare the shit out of those people means they’re staggeringly dumber than humans.
Finally, I rounded a corner, both relieved at having her out of my sight and worried that she would take that moment to come find me. When she’d been within eyeshot, I had at least known where she was and could run in the other direction. But I didn’t hear the sound of faint footsteps moving rapidly toward me. All was quiet, in that deep, smothering way that only an empty business in the middle of the night in small town America could be.
My hands trembling, I barely paid attention to anything but the confirmation that my surroundings were free of the colossal spider as I finally got back to the door. Grabbing the handle and letting my eyes dart around for about ten seconds and my ears prick for the slightest sound, I finally swiped my key card across the pad and went inside, shutting the door behind me and engaging the backup deadbolt.
Maybe that was why they had decided on keycards. If I was running from something and panicking, using an actual key or inserting the card like at a hotel would keep me from getting to safety considering my hands were shaking enough to mix a margarita.
Walking over to my chair, I fell into it, letting my body flush itself of terror as I looked up at the cameras. There she was, still in arachnid form, exactly where I’d left her behind that rinky-dink fence, casually looking around and slowly pacing back and forth. I stared at her as my racing heart gradually slowed, and a minute or so later she turned on her eight legs and walked back into the trees.
Whatever invisible fences the enclosures have apparently work, which is nice, because I wasn’t keen on getting killed by one of the creatures here. And that’s what brings me here, spilling out everything that’s happened so far. Because nearly passing out from terror isn’t something I wanted to deal with at work, obviously, but I keep going over what she did in my head again and again, and I feel like I reacted like a child who spotted a wolf spider on their bed. I started to worry for my overactive sense of self-preservation, at least in my capacity as an employee here.
The spider didn’t even try to hurt me, and so I was feeling a bit foolish. Even annoyed, actually, at the fact that I’d freaked out so hard and took off instead of trying to engage in at least basic conversation. I got the sense that she wasn’t at human-level intelligence, but I was never going to be able to hold any level of conversation with an alligator.
Sure, she did mention that she wouldn’t be so crass as to yank off my hand because she’d rather just have my entire corpse, but wouldn’t a wolf do the same if it was hungry? Wouldn’t any carnivore? Actually, they probably would’ve been satisfied with one of my hands. The fear here was from the fact that she turned into a giant spider. If she’d turned into Clifford, I would’ve reacted the same way, if not better than, meeting Leila.
With that, I decided I’m staying on the job. Considering how frustrated I can get with foolish people, it’s a bit hypocritical, and I’m being a bit of an idiot. But…there are definitely wards keeping them in their enclosures. Also, I signed up for creatures for another dimension, whether or not I believed in them at the time, and I will not let encountering my first one in an objectively boring way be the reason I quit.
The money is a factor, I’ll grant you. Of course it is. And I can’t spend it if I’m dead, but all signs point to surviving as long as I don’t do anything dumb. Also, yes, I’ll admit there’s a not-so-little voice in the back of my head that’s desperate to know what else is here. I never thought I’d do something like this, but finding out these things are real, I honestly do want to learn more about them.
Still, though, I decided to call Andrew at the end of my shift to ask if the pepper spray and taser I carried worked on a certain spider, as well as the other animals I’d yet to meet.
Previous

First of all, I would like to write that I believe that everyone has the ability to decide about their own life. I have no right to force anyone to do anything or dictate anyone's life. I don't know the other person's thoughts, experiences and feelings, so I'm not the one to judge. My autonomy ends where the other person's autonomy begins.
Recently, the topic of abortion has become even more publicized. I'm not going to argue, just ask a few questions - maybe not as many as I would like, but at least a few (I have an opinion on most of them, but I would like to know what your opinion is)

1. When do you think a person has the right to have an abortion?
   
2. Why do you think that a raped person must give birth to a child (most pro-life people I have heard say so)
   
3. Do you think abortion is murder? If so, should it be punished as murder?
   
4. Regarding question 3 - if in some countries/states murder is punishable by death, how do you want to solve this problem?
   

219 bands, 219 songs! Here's the YouTube Music Version:
Deathcore/Metalcore - Best One Song Encyclopedia
Obviously "best song" is a very subjective notion, but I got a bunch of input from the big Deathcore/Metalcore group on FB, as well as Metalcore during the brief period before the post was removed (imagine tongue-sticking-out emoji here!) Anyway, the alphabetized band list by itself is pretty cool, IMHO. Enjoy - and please feel free to make suggestions for additions or changes!

1. Aborted - Dreadbringer
2. Abbie Falls - Pitch Black
3. Across the Sun – May Silence Keep You
4. After The Burial - Behold The Crown
5. A Hero A Fake – I Know I
6. All Out War – Into the Killing Fields
7. Allt – Paralyzed
8. All That Remains - This Calling
9. Alpha Wolf - Akudama
10. alt. - BACK TO EARTH
11. A Mourning Star – A World Beyond
12. Angelmaker- What I Would Give
13. Annalynn - Closer to the Edge
14. Annisokay - Coma Blue
15. Any Given Day – Savior
16. Architects - These Colors Don’t Run
17. As Blood Runs Black – In Dying Days
18. As I Lay Daying - The Sound of Truth
19. Asking Alexandria - A Single Moment of Sincerity
20. Atena – Oil Rigs
21. ATLVS – Comethazine
22. Atreyu – Crimson
23. Attack! Attack! – Killing for Sport
24. Avenged Sevenfold – Unholy Confessions
25. Aviana – Rage
26. August Burns Red - White Washed
27. AVOID - Whatever
28. Bad Omens - ARTIFICIAL SUICIDE
29. Before I Turn – Aglaeca
30. Being as an ocean - the hardest part is forgetting those you swore you would never forget
31. Bleed from Within - Alive
32. Bleeding Through - Revenge I Seek
33. Bloodywood - Machi Bhasad
34. Bodysnatcher – Exterminate
35. Botch – One Twenty Two
36. Boundaries – I'd Rather Not Say
37. Breakdown of Sanity – The Storm
38. Bring Me the Horizon - Shadow Moses
39. Bullet for my Valentine - Four Words (To Choke Upon)
40. Bury Tomorrow – Choke
41. Caliban – Memorial
42. Carnifex - Die Without Hope
43. Caskets - The Final Say
44. Chamber - Replacing Every Weakness
45. Chelsea Grin – Cheyne Stokes
46. Chimaira – Pure Hatred
47. Classic Jack – LAG
48. Code Orange - Forever
49. coldrain - 2020
50. Conquer Divide - Afterthought.wav
51. Converge – A Single Tear
52. Counterparts - Whispers Of Your Death
53. Crimson Eyes – Serenity
54. Crown the Empire – The Fallout
55. Crystal Lake - Apollo
56. Currents - Better Days
57. Daedric - Alchemy
58. Dance Gavin Dance – Chucky vs. The Giant Tortoise
59. Dark Divine - The Fear
60. Darkest Hour - Goddess of War, Give Me Something to Die For
61. Darko US - Pale Tongue
62. Dal Av & Jackson Rose – Insanely Illegal Cage Fight
63. Dead Crown – Joker
64. Dealer – Crooked
65. Defocus – Crooked Mind
66. Demon Hunter - Cross to Bear
67. Downswing – Bound to Misery (feat. AVOID)
68. Dying Wish - Enemies in Red
69. Earth Crisis – Forced March
70. Eighteen Visions – Reality Killer
71. Elwood Stray - Half Life
72. Emmure - When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong
73. Enterprise Earth – Reanimate // Disintegrate
74. ERRA - Lunar Halo
75. Esprit D’Air - Ocean’s Call
76. Every Time I Die - Map Change
77. Fallstar – When Justice Cracks the Sky
78. Fit for a King - Backbreaker
79. Fit for an Autopsy – Under a Serpent Sun
80. Flames of Betrayal – The Rain Reeks of Heaven
81. Foreign Hands - Separation Souvenir
82. For the Fallen Dreams – Sulfate
83. For today - Break the Cycle
84. Get the Shot – Deathbound (feat Rob Watson)
85. Ghost Iris – My Dear Rat Kings
86. Gideon -- Bite Down
87. God Forbid - To the Fallen Hero
88. Great American Ghost – Ann Arbor (Be Safe)
89. Greyhaven - Kappa (River Child)
90. Guilt Trip – Eyes Wide Shut
91. Hanabie - Otaku Lovely Densetsu
92. Harm’s Way – Become a Machine
93. Haste the Day – 68
94. Hatebreed – Own Your World
95. Heart of a Coward – Hollow
96. Heaven Shall Fall – Hunters Will Be Hunted
97. Holding Absence - Monochrome
98. Humanity’s Last Breath - Labyrinthian
99. Ice Nine Kills – The American Nightmare
100. If I Were You – System Failure
101. Imminence – Chasing Shadows
102. Impending Doom - There Will be Violence
103. In Heart’s Wake – Survival (The Chariot)
104. I Prevail - Deadweight
105. I See Stars - Running With Scissors
106. InChaos - Butterfly Effect
107. Ingested – I, Despoiler
108. Invent Animate - False Meridian
109. Jesus Piece - Fear of Failure
110. Job for a Cowboy – Sun of Nihility
111. Johnny Booth - The Ladder
112. Killswitch Engage - My Last Serenade
113. Kill The Lights - Dead From The Start
114. Knocked Loose - Deep in the Willow
115. Kublai Khan - The Hammer
116. Lamb of God - Descending
117. Left to Suffer – Overwhelming Power
118. LVNDMARKS - False Reality
119. Light the Torch - Die Alone
120. Like Moths To Flames - Dissociative Being
121. Loathe - Aggressive Evolution
122. Lorna Shore – Of the Abyss
123. Make Them Suffer - Uncharted
124. Misery Signals - Luminary
125. Malevolence – On Broken Glass
126. MAYFLOWER – Misery
127. Maylene & the Sons of Disaster – Caution: Dangerous Curves Ahead
128. MIRE – Inside
129. Miss May I – Hey Mister
130. Motionless in White – Disguise
131. Mouth for War – Saturate Me
132. Mugshot – Egodystonic
133. Myka Relocate – Hide the Truth
134. Norma Jean - Sword in Mouth, Fire Eyes
135. Nora – I Should Have Sent Flowers
136. Novelists FR - Souvenirs
137. Of Mice and Men - The Depths
138. Ocean Sleeper - Your Love I'll Never Need
139. Opal In Sky - The Blight
140. Orthodox - Cave In
141. Paleface – Lights Out
142. Paria - The Absurdity of Solace
143. Parkway Drive – Dark Days
144. Patient Sixty-Seven - Hibbertia
145. Periphery - Stranger Things
146. PERN – Gasping for Air
147. Phinehas – I Am the Lion
148. Polaris - The Remedy
149. Pupil Slicer - No Temple
150. Reflections - Help
151. Reliqa – Tyrant
152. Renesans - Labor of Hate
153. Rings of Saturn - Senseless Massacre
154. Sail’s End - The Sound of Silence 3: Three
155. Sanction – The Prophet Who Saw Fire
156. SAVE US – Distance
157. Scarlet Horizon - Seed
158. Sea of Treachery – Unleash the Serpents
159. Serration – Simulations of Hell
160. Shadow of Intent – The Prelude to Bereavement
161. Shadows Fall – The Light that Blinds
162. Shai Halud - Solely Concentrating on the Negative Aspects of Life
163. Silent Planet - Antimatter
164. Signs of the Swarm – Amongst the Low and Empty
165. Silverstein - Your Sword vs My Dagger
166. Sion – More than Just Myself
167. Slaughter to Prevail - Viking
168. Sleep Token – The Summoning
169. Snapcase – Harrison Bergeron
170. Spite – led
171. Spiritbox - The Beauty Of Suffering
172. Spiritual Chaos - End
173. Suicide Silence - Unanswered
174. Sunami – Mind Your Business
175. Sworn In – Snake Eyes
176. Tenside - Come Alive Dying
177. The Acacia Strain - The Impaler
178. The Afterimage – Secrets
179. The Amity Affliction – Pittsburgh
180. The Black Dahlia Murder – What a Horrible Night to Have a Curse
181. The Browning - The End of Existence
182. The Chariot - David De La Hoz
183. The Devil Wears Prada - Danger: Wildman
184. The Dillinger Escape Plan - One of Us is The Killer
185. The Empire Shall Fall – Voices Forming Weapons
186. The Ghost Inside – Aftermath
187. The Gloom in the Corner – Bleed You Out
188. The Human Abstract – Vela, Together We Await the Storm
189. The Ongoing Concept - Feel Again
190. The Plot in You - Crows
191. The Zenith Passage – Deus Deceptor
192. Thornhill - Casanova
193. Throwdown – This Continuum
194. Thrown - on the verge
195. Thy Art is Murder – Holy War
196. Times of Grace – Medusa
197. To the Grave – Terrorist Threat
198. Trivium - Down from the Sky
199. Undying – the Company of Storms
200. Unearth - This Glorious Nightmare
201. Upon a Burning Body – Extermination
202. Varials – Anything to Numb
203. VCTMS – Pull From the Hurt
204. Veil of Maya - Outsider
205. VEXED – X my <3 (Hope to Die)
206. Vision of Disorder - D.T.O.
207. Wage War - The River
208. Walls of Jericho – Forever Militant
209. War of Ages – Collapse
210. We Are The Empty – Carcass
211. We Came As Romans - What I Wished I never Had
212. Whitechapel - I Will Find You
213. While She Sleeps - You Are We
214. Within Destruction – Void
215. Within the Ruins – Gods Amongst Men
216. Wolves at the Gate – Deadweight
217. World of Pleasure – Carbon Copy
218. Xibalba – Death Threat
219. Zao - Resistance

Now you know which group caused my unemployment and underemployment for years. They decided that I would have to work fast food instead of jobs that I actually already worked or earned degree in. They decided to think that I insulted their church for (family secret) reasons that I wasn't told about! I didn't get the transparency I needed! They think low pay would force me into crime because of research paper written by me for psychology class. Actual poverty didn't cause me to commit crime. Research paper was based on data collected by major universities, not personal experience!
Radicalized people within the larger group are certainly problem. Their camera (visible in right eye photos of retina) is also microphone so they always make sure to brag since that surgery. I worked help desk at Bank of America but organized crime group thought they could get account numbers? Tech support doesn't access customer information. Customer service does. I'm not afraid of them. I'm not free until they kill me. They do taunt. They can't always do what they plan!!!
When I say I wanted to help the planet, I didn't mean by sex. But people disagree with me. People see sins first, even if they are old. I'm tired of being cheated out of life. I'm tired of being TOLD to live a life that isn't genuine. I'm unhappy with behavior of people. I'm unhappy with people who have "privilege" to do bad things to others. Unfortunately, they think my suicide is the only possible way to save their church.
My prediction: They aren't expecting those things they want in museum to disappear into the sky, but that's the next stage of events. Apocalypse has to happen. They didn't want to correct the events that created it using unethical and unlawfulness with time machine. They wanted me homeless and poor when God wanted the opposite for me. They brag about the new photo on my driver's license of the scam artist! Read that correctly. RealID can now be hacked by criminals so it's going to be meaningless to prevent or stop identity fraud or immigration fraud in the next few years if she succeeds. She plans to use that to enter my home and get free stuff. Someone didn't want to pay her hush money or child support for kids they fathered, so they gave her my life instead. Easier for men to help women commit crime than pay money for kids to live? More babies ahead with abortion bans so more men and women in the world get to behave worse and worse to children that aren't their own? I wasn't the only one affected by things they have already done!!!

Just to play the devil's advocate here regarding an older post and the controversy that ensued, sex between a brother and sister close in age is ASSUMED to be incest, and that coercion of one sort or another exists in a situation like this (usually blamed on the brother). But does a brother truly have the coercive power in such a dynamic? You know, if you've been raised with a sibling of the opposite sex, a lot of arguing and fighting goes on; sometimes the sister gets her way, sometimes the brother gets his way. Who has the power here? This same brother and sister are sitting on the couch with a bowl of popcorn watching a movie. The sister places a hand on the brother's thigh and kisses him on the neck. Is the brother being coerced into sex? Or has the sister lost enough fights and arguments with her brother that her actions are a form of surrender to him as a superior? Maybe the sister is truly horny, a physiological drive is at play here, not an abusive one.
Another scenario: A pair of siblings have not sseen each other for over six years, due to college, employment and other life occurences that can keep people apart for some time. They happen to meet in a bar, recognize each other and embrace, then sit down to chat and have a drink. As the evening wears on they find themselves attracted to who and what the other has become (six years can change a person both physically and emotionally, not to mention cognitively). The sister lost a husband to divorce and is both lonely and unattached; the brother has just never had the time to pursue a relationship, not that he hassn't wanted to. But as the evening wears on there's some innocent flirting and, eventually, a kiss. The sister suggests they go to the brother's place and, immediately, once inside they are in each others arms in a fairly passionate kiss. The brother pulls back, saying "We can't do this, sis, we're related." The sister says "Fuck the rules and places her hand on her brother's crotch and he responds. Again, who's the manipulator?
One more: After divorce or death of a spouse afflicting both a brother and sister, the two decide to share a house and save money. Since both are in, say, their mid to upper forties, they each have a sex drive. After a few months of living together in separate rooms, the brother goes into the sister's room, sits on the edge of the bed, and begins talking about how lonely he's been and how much he longs for some sort of intimacy in his life. The sister, listening intently, has been feeling the same way, she just hadn't bothered to vocalize those feelings. After the brother finishes his harangue a sob escapes his lips. In response, the sister lifts the covers to let her brother into the bed. At first they just cuddle in commiseration, but one thing leads to another and a new couple is created. Who should go to jail here? The brother, because he used a sob story to get into his sister's bed, when that wasn't his intention at all; he just wanted to let some feelings out.
I know these examples aren't something that happens every day, but they happen much more often than people think. I can't recall the citation off the top of my head, but if anyone insists I provide it I will do so; a team of researchers published an article with the title (may not be the exact words; again, I'll find the article if someone wants it) DNA Research Demonstrates That Incest is More Common Than We Thought.
In New Jersy, sex between siblings is not illegal, but if a parent is involved it's illegal as hell -- and I'm sure the reason is that which has been mentioned here ad nauseum: parents are in the power seat and easily opens the door to coersion. In my opinion the definition of the word "incest" should be given a narrower definition that denotes what the rest of you have been saying about grooming, coersion, rape, etc.
And no, I am in no way attracted to my sister; I am against government governing our own bodies, whether it be sex, abortion, and whatever else you can think of.

Today, I finally put on my altered dress for my (23f) best friend's (24f) engagement party. Although I look beautiful in it and I am feeling myself, I keep having flashbacks and flashfowards of what can go bad.
We met on facebook when we were both in high school and clicked, despite having bad opinions about each other. We had plenty of common things to talk about, and I honestly admired her for how intelligent and well spoken she is. Although, she always was the kind that had her mind set on an ideal when it came to relationships that resulted in a very toxic dynamic between her and her partner. When her partner didn't satisfy her, she would go cold and never said what was wrong. Instead, she was venting to me. That made our friendship toxic. She would constantly cheat emotionally on her partner with me. Things escalated quickly, and we actually caught feelings for each other. I started to be her actual lover, and I felt guilty about it. At some point, we were in a relationship, too. It was a short and bad one that put our friendship on a pause.
4 years later, I decided to reconnect with her because I thought that I wasn't going to waste a good friendship in a bad relationship, and it was a very good decision. We were both healthier, and now we had a better dynamic, too. I talked to her about my boyfriend ( 25m) and our love story. Long story short, he is my soulmate. I am convinced about that. No relationship compares to this one. I told her about how fast we had to move on because of our circumstances and how nice it is to live with him, and she understood. She is happy with our relationship and wishes us the best. Not so much later, she met her current fiancé (25m). He was quite intimidated by me, he told that to my face but we clicked well. That's until we found out that he is quite dodgy. He is a womanizer who decided to "settle" and fell for her quickly. He also is the kind to search for the most dodgy jobs just to make a bit more cash, that he spends quickly on god knows what. He saw everything. Drugs, prostitution, robberies, death, etc. Not only that, but he is cocky about never being caught, too. I thought they were an odd pairing since she is the independent, level-headed but introverted big sister that took no shit from anyone, but whatever. We didn't want to judge. They moved on quickly with their relationship, even quicker than me, and my boyfriend did. They got engaged in 8 months, and three months later, she is pregnant, too. Their engagement lasted only 6 months, and next month, they are getting married. Because a wedding is quite expensive for them right now, they decided to skip the church wedding and only do the official documents and do an engagement dinner party with their close family and friends. Oh boy, the organization is a mess.
First, they asked us to be their godparents but quickly changed their minds after their parents realized that me and my boyfriend are not married, which is a big problem with the church but not with the documents. I wanted to point that out to them since they are not going to be wedded in church but whatever. Ever since we were in high school, she promised me that I would be her godmother to her wedding. It was disappointing, but I knew that I needed to be flexible. Second, she wants her guests to dress more elegantly for the event. Her fiancé and my BF got a bit fussy that they couldn't wear jeans and Hawaiian shirts, but we quickly changed their minds. But this transitioned to the third problem. I had to get my dress pretty early into the engagement so we could save some money. I got a nice dress for my budget: a midi mint dress with puffy veil sleeves and crochet flowers motifs that enhanced my bosom. I checked with her if the color and the model were ok, and she said that she was happy with it... Until she got her dress. She decided to dress in a way more layed back style and get a white cotton beach dress. It's incredibly simple, and my boyfriend described it to be a sack of potatoes in comparation to what I was wearing. Not only that, but it was 5 times more expensive than mine. This was a problem. I didn't want to overdress or upstage the bride to be, so I got another dress that's more laid back, the one that I am currently wearing so my mom could alter her a bit. Fourth, they keep changing the dates, and that got everyone annoyed because it messed with the free work days. Fortunately, this was resolved, and now they have a date that's set in stone. The organization is quite messy, too. BF had the condition that he didn't want to drive in the city, so he would drink, something that can't happen because they have many guests and not enough cars. We live far away from them, in a suburban area. There is a 5 hour drive between us and besides them, we don't know anyone in their city. They offered us a free room ( baby's future room) but even that is uncertain. Fifth, they are not the most stable couple. Her fiancé gets mad and jealous quite easily. He used to fight with her when she wears more make-up than usual or she was too indiferent to his flirting. She is the kind of woman who never wears her emotions, and that drives him nuts. She did open up slowly to him, but it's too slow for his pace. Not only this, but he has a high-sexual drive while her's is low. He gets very fussy when they don't get to have regular sex. When she got pregnant, the gyno told her to stop sexual relations for a while, so the baby stays in place. He said that he can't stop having sex for his own health, and it is quite unfair. She hit him with an ultimatum that if he made her abort it, she would never have kids with him again. That made him settle, at least for a while. He is also the kind that wants a boy, so he could continue his "legacy." If that didn't make it clear for what kind of person he is, then I don't know what more can I tell you. Also, the both of them hinted that me and boyfriend should get pregnant too, so our children could be best friends just like us. We quickly shut it down with "With what money?Plus, we are not mentally prepared for it". Which brings us to the sixth problem, and I and BF are not in a stable money situation like they are. BF used to be overworked and paid badly while I couldn't work right now. He did get to change his job for a better one, which is a huge relief. I wanted to work, I wished to, but bestie and her fiancé keep wanting to have vacations with us twice a year. No workplace would be able to give me that many holidays, which I know is unfair. That's the country we live in. Because of this, for the last year, we were on a tight budget that couldn't allow any more changes.
Besides these problems, there are many more things like family drama and other money problems. Because of the constant change, me and boyfriend are stressed and this got us in an argument. First being about my dress and then about the couple that couldn't understand our money problems. Me and bf resolved it, but he has some good points. The organization is as messy as their future marriage.
I apologize if I've made grammar mistakes, english is not my first language.

I (20M) feel like i got pretty lucky with alot of things that men say women want. Im 6"5, im semi muscular (ill get into this one l8r), i got good hair, and half desent facial hair, i have a LOT of money for ppl my age (around 100k at 20 due to a legal suit involving a death of a close relitive), and above average sized thing (not to be crass but i think its important for what im talking about).
Now thats all great, like every alpha male guy would say thats all that matters to get women but my insecurity comes from my face. I HATE the way my face looks. Like i cant put into words how disgusting my face is. My nose is down turned and pruyrdes too far from my face, my eyes are too deep set into my skull and have these disgusting genetic under eye bags that are always shadowed, my cheeks are fat and puffy and i have a aweful jaw that shoots way too high up to early on my face, as well as one side of my face is round and 1 side is sharp. I hate seeing myself. But so much of life is just seeing yourself, i dont want photos of me, i dont want to be seen in public, i dont want to go on dates, etc all because i hate the way i look. Ive gone through soo much in my life but ive really gotten through it all, abusive parents as a kid, dead parent as a teen, all my grandparents are dead, no real connections, a disease that hospitialized me for most of highschool, and so many other struggles in my life and yet the only thing that consitantly weighs on my mind and makes me suididal is my face.
I hate it so much i cant put it into words. Ive done ALOT of reflecting on why i hate how i look because im probaly objectivly speeking barely below average or maybe even average levels of attractivness. I think it comes from bad experinces with women in the past and a sense of inadequicy caused by having abusive parents. I know i mentioned alpha male shit at thr begining of this post but im actually not into any of that bullshit at all. Im a pretty big feminist and ive always kind of prided myself on not being that cringe women hating andrew tate fan, but what im realizing is i just internilized all that hatred instead of putting it onto women.
I constantly look at myself, i check myself in every reflection to confirm im still ugly, if there isnt a mirror i take a photo or look at myself in my phones reflection. I do this because i want to know what i look like in the moment. Even when im alone i constantly check. I have over 6k selfies on my phone if just that. Sometimes i feel confident and i feel like a 8 or a 9 out of 10 and then i see myself in normal/natural lighting and i feel like a 3/10. Its so paralalyzing. I would do anything to just feel comfterable in my own skin. I miss out on so many great things because im paranoid about how i look. When i walk to the store i spend the entire time obbsesivly freaking out about my aprarejce, when i hang out with friends i try and consuously position myself in ways they see my good side or me in good lighting because i dont want them to THINK im ugly. Its so miserable i want it to be over. Im genuinly suisidal over my facial apearnece which feels so pathetic when you consider what other people are going through or even what I have experinced in the past, its wierd THIS small thing is so deteimental to my life.
I feel my body is fine but i do have a eating disorder specifically in a attempt to reduce facial fat. I do sooo much to try and inprove my aperace but at this point its just genetics. Like i have a massive skin care routine, i work out frequently, and so much more but it just doesnt help.
One of my friends told me he though i was ugly when he first met me but now he things im average and it destroyed me. Idk why he said it honeslty i think he was drunk and ment it as a compliment and for a normal person they would just move on but for me its lingered in my mind 24/7 for the last 3 months. It doesnt even matter what he thinks because im straight and its not like im trying to date him but I think becuase of the way i obssess over what others think of my apearjwce it like confirmed my already negitive thoufhrs about my apernece. I dont voice these kind of things to ppl so its not like any1 knows not to say things like that but if i did ask him not to it would honeslty make ut worse because then it would feel like he was silently judging me.
I desprutially want to be loved, i think it has to do with being phyically and emotionally abused by both my parents as a kid because i feel this deep sinkinh feeling in my chest all the time and it feeld like the only way i could fix it would be love. Sometimes i get a glimse of it, like i fall in love and we go on a few dates and then it doesnt work out but for that short few weeks it felt like everything was fine fir the first rime ever. I want to just experince basic love like hugging and spending time together with someone in a romantic sense SOO deeply and it feels like it i was more attractive maybe those dates where i was in love but it wasnt mutual would work out.
I social media stalk one girl in particular and evey new boyfriend she gets is like 500x more attractive than me and it just makes me feel hopeless but i litterally cant get over her. 2 years and the feelings never went away. Every time i think im over her i dream about her or something big happens involving her or a friend mentions her in passing and its like all these dormant feeling reawaken and i just feel so inadiqet. Like i dont even want any1 else. Its wierd and it fucking sucks.
I feel like the only real options left are get cosmetic surgery and hope that fixes everything, or die and never have to worry about it again but i genuinly think all the time about all the bad photos thsg would be used at my funeral. If i got cosmetic survery i would move to the other side of the country and start a new life and just pretend it never happened and not talk to any1 who new me from before until they A forgot what i looked like, or B enough time passed its reasonable i looked diffrent.
What should i do? Is this fixable?

When Moody shows Harry the picture of the original OOTP, it leaves me with so many questions. I need to hear people’s thoughts and headcanons!
The picture must have been taken around July 1981, as we know Marlene McKinnon was killed two weeks later; and Lily mentions the death as a recent event, as she’s writing to Sirius about Harry’s first birthday.
But that means that many of the original order were killed in an incredibly short time frame. Also Caradoc Dearborn must have vanished after the fall of Voldemort (as he vanished 6 months after the photo was taken). This isn’t impossible, there were still Death Eaters on the loose and Alice and Frank were attacked after the fall of Voldemort. But you do get the impression that Alice and Frank’s attack sent ripples through the community precisely because people were starting to feel safe.
We know Remus says they were outnumbered 20:1, so the Order just being plucked off one by one over a short timespan isn’t that unlikely. However, that still leaves a number of possible narratives: 1) the Order was just established - hence the photo. The photo does have a bit of that coming together to create a movement energy. However, we know this doesn’t fully work because Lily and James and the others had already been fighting Voldemort for years 2) the Order was relatively unknown to Voldemort / not a high priority until around July 1981 (maybe he wanted to really go after them once he needed to find Harry). So that until that moment most of the OG Order remained alive 3) there were possibly quite a few more members in the Order prior to c July 1981, but they have already been killed
Also, if Lily and James were in hiding at this point, which we know because James was getting restless, then what are they doing in that picture??? (and is Bathilda looking after Harry??! Are they not worried about him?!?)
The timing of the photo feels like a mistake. It feels like JKR forgot she’d said Marlene was killed two weeks after.

My Nan (52F, Weight unknown but photos show she appeared as a healthy weight) died in 1995.
Until recently, my mother was too afraid to see the cause of death on the certificate. She remembers that my nan went to A&E with unwell symptoms, and within two days she died.
These cause of death is as follows: 1a Cardiac Failure b Hyperviscoscity Syndrome c Polycythaenia
Are these causes of death an indicator of any underlying medical conditions she may have had? As far as her kids knew, she was entirely healthy and had nothing diagnosed.
We would like to know for peace of mind, to ensure there is no genetic condition which could have caused it, and largely with the UK’s current coverup of the infected blood scandal, it has us anxious that maybe she was affected but did not alert any of us.
Thank you!

I have already made short post that I finished series finale. I stiil feel sad, depressed and that feeling when tv show ended.... unbelievable how "The Shield" is stuck with me. Can't believe this journey is over.
I wanted to say so many things. Firstly, how can I miss this? I was too young when it came out, but I hear about "The Wire" everywhere even now. "The shield" feels like out of the radar all the time. WE MUST DO SOMETHING WITH IT! Please, just watch "The Shield"!
My friend told me to watch it and he stumbled upon this Tv show in one cool review that was left by some user (girl , actually) on my native language site about movies/tvshows.
When I look at some photos and pictures of "The Shield" I have thoughts that it is like CSI or some other typical cop show with nothing more. How wrong was I with such first impression.
What I really like that "The shield" has blu-ray release. So cool tv show is reinnovate for high quality format and has a lot of bonus features on blu-ray.
My friend also told me that I need to watch especially until Season 5 where it will be so high level quality writing that I gonna really appreaciate "The Shield".
As for myself, I fond of cinema. I just not go easy on any movies/tvshows. I am very nit-picking because I like to learn about cinematography, screenwriting, directing and so on. For me movies like the greatest art and I study movies as an art. That's why I feel bored about modern movies and TV shows. Screenplays are not bold, not so complex, characters feel flat and creators afraid to insult other races, woman right and so on. Many movies and TV shows of modern era feel convinient. I am tired of that. And I started to watch "The Shield" six months ago.
"The Shield" was aired in the right time! Year 2002 like "The Wire". From the pilot episode "The Shield" don't try to be convinient, it shows you what Vic and his team doing, what "The barn" doing everyday. Everything around characters feels not-convinient: drug-addicted, child trafficking, other awful staff around. Characters not just saint and clean, they do what they have to do like it or not as a viewer. That's what I wished for a long time. "The Shield" just clicked with me. I can't even imagine TVshow about cops can be on such level with great cast, great characters, really good screenwriting, directing and editing.
Before "The Shield" I can't tolerate semi-documentary cinematography and "hand-held" effect of camera in movies. In "The Shield" I fall in love with such camerawork and editing. That's really what I can't imagine I would love in cinemas. In this Tv show every take is so close, editiing beetwen close-mid plan camera panning and it feels so great in terms of "The Shield" storytellling. You are always near characters, you like breathing just around their shoulders and see every bad side of Farmington so close that you feel how disgusting this district is. Incredible work from cinematographers and editors.
Dynamic feeling of everything that happens on the screen. The greatest part of "The Shield" it is never trying to dragging some melodrama to extend seasons or try to be sentimental in the scenes. Modern TVshows really like that and i don't. Don't need to play with the viewer. In "The Shield" everything happenes so fast, so realistic that sometimes you can't even catch a breath. Not a single dull episode. In every episode something cool will definetely happens and it keeps you attached to the screen. And I don't mean that "The Shield" hasn't some melancholic or not-fast pacing moment. On the opposite, "The Shield" has everything what makes cinema alive and fascinating.
Let me explain what I really like about "The Shield" and I have never experience such different emotions just in one piece of the cinema:
In "The Shield" you can feel like a kid again and rooting for cool-masculine guys who breaks door and shout: "Police! On the ground!". After some episodes I really wanna just play in cops and criminals on my yard with friends. That's how action feels in this Tv show. I wanna buy merch with "Strike Team" on it and snake eating rat logo. Incredible.
In "The Shield" as an adult you can feel totally devastated by events that just happened on the screen. You can feel pure emotions from character actions. And what most important you don't want to judge character right away you want to put yourself in his shoes because what character did feels so realistic. Characters here not some fancy cards, you can feel them like real human beings.
In "The Shield" you can laugh as an adult. Humor in some scenes and from some characters really spot on and not stupid. It is full drama but some episodes has great humor parts. And again it feels so real and natural like human beings in real life would joke about something. Bilings sutuations and lines from later seasons are just pure gold.
In "The Shield" you want to discuss some parts of the story. It feels like after reading a good complex books with interesting characters you start to think about their actions and how you can think about your actions in the real life. What it is like to be a coward? To be hypocrite? What about loayalty and friendship? Trust me not so many movies/TVshows can be so full-thinking. It's a miracle that such depth can be in cop TV show. I stiil can't imagine how believable characters are and situations in "The Shield". Script and story of all seasons and how characters arcs redeemed is golden!
So I trying to say "The Shield" can feel like popcorn-blockbuster cop show in some parts with overacting but sometimes it's pure complex drama with silence scenes and great acting and very realistic characters. It's the best mixture of movie formula that I have seen in my life! I stiil can't imagine that I saying such words in terms of cop TV show.
"The Shield" was ahead of its time. It is a real piece of art. In modern days I want to see Tv show with overacting (when it need to be done), cool action and the same time it can provide me with great drama sequences and believable characters.
[SPOILER] section below. Please read only if you watched the series.
What I also like about "The Shield" it has great leading character. Michael Chiklis was born for this role. Maybe in first seasons you can think he overacting sometimes and can't be so dramatic but in the late seasons Michael have shown one of the best acting scenes in cinema. Pure mastery. This 42 second silence in front of Olivia was something unique and incredible. Then final eyes scene with Cloudette and finale running eyes scene in the ending of season 7 when he sits alone.
Vic is so well written in every season. He is the anchor of the show. So charismatic, strategy wise, musculine and cool and what I like the most this character feels real. When Vic came alone in gang territory and didn't fear anything you believe in that. You understand as a viewer that not anybody in "the barn" have balls for things that Mackey can do. He uses "shortcuts" in police work that only he can manage. He has really metal backbone. Even when he mentally broke at the end of the 1st season he needs just a couple of minutes to grab his shit together and go further. Character has a great amount of willpower and dedication to do anything that he wanted to.
Vic is the greatest anti hero in cinema history. Many side characters hate him but when there is a problem that no one can resolve Mackey step up. Farmington is so dirty that it needs people dirty as Vic to clean it.
I actually always rooted for Vic as a viewer because nobody in "The Shield" is black and white. Even Claudette free Kleavon from death penalty to keep her warm place. And I like that "The Shield" shows every character is corrupt somehow.
But I can't believe that Vic betrayed Ronnie. It hits hard. After that I as a viewer understood Cloudette words: "Vic is trying to be someone he wants you to see him". We viewers see Vic true nature in the final episode and it hits hard too. He always was like that and we didn't want to accept. And some part of me like him but other part can't forgive him for what he did to others. Such a great character downfall through all seasons. And this shot when he smiled to his gun and go somewhere. Where did he go? He can't sit tight he always need to be "living on the edge" this his type of character.
I wanna write about other characters. Shane for sure. But Post is too big. I leave it for later.
10/10. I am empty and depressed that "The Shield" journey ended for me. Can't believe that many people don't know about this masterpiece. I am glad I stumbled upon it. It touched my strings for cinema love that not any movie or tv show touching in years.
So many emotions and thoughts. Thanks to Shawn Ryan, Michael Chiklis, Walton Goggins and every other member of "The Shield" crew and FX. I wish I had a chance to tell it to them personally. I am grown man but I feel emotions like a kid again. Pure emotions from "The Shield" story.
To sum up my words. I like this ending montage of Season 2. It has great editing and you feel emotions. I literally cried when I rewatched it after the final. Clodette touches Dutch and thanked him. Aceveda moving forward. Coriine in thoughts. Dutch investigate a murder again. And Pile of money scene... Vic the only one who is laughing but others feel mix emotions. Gives shivers to my spine.
The Shield - Overcome Season 2 Ending (youtube.com)

This may be a difficult one to answer, since the question is a bit vague but how emotionally hard-hitting is {Death in the Spires by KJ Charles}? I've heard so many good things about the author that I'd love to read it, but for some reason I have issues with bittersweet historical romances. Like how you might get a peculiar sensation of melancholy while looking at a black and white photo. Maybe because it's in the past and they're all dead in this age and I need to know that they had a very HEA.

• And who exactly are the main pairing in that book?
• also, any other recommendations for KJ Charles?

Thank you for your help.

on my mind lately but i do want to share it.
about 8 years ago, i had a lot of problems and was in a bad abusive relationship and basically he threatened me that if i didn’t let him sneak in at night that he would do something to me so i let him. this was all because he got into a fight with my brother and my mom didn’t want him over anymore. but anyways. he came one night and he got caught in my room. my mom freaked. i was already dealing with mental health problems and this made it 100000x worse. she took everything from me. i would just sit in my room and cry. eventually my doctor found out i self harmed because of taking my blood pressure and they recommended i go to a psychiatric facility. at this time my mom was being extremely horrible to me.
when i was in, i met this girl there. a quiet small girl. i decided to let her sit at my table during the day and we quickly became friends. she didn’t have a phone or socials but i gave her my info just in case. about 5 months later, i got a facebook message from her. comes out she got a phone after she begged her family for one so she can talk to me. from then on, we talked pretty much every day and shared everything with each other. she lived kind of far so i wasn’t able to see her in person until a few years later when her family got a car. she started dating this kid we also met at the hospital… i supported their relationship 100%. she was my best friend. i even taught her how to drive!
when we did see each other semi-regularly in person, i brought her with me to hang out with me my then bf and his best friend. his friend met a girl at my church and they started dating. so i brought my friend with me to hang with all of us and her and that other girl became friends. it bothered me because that other girl i knew my whole life. we never got along. but i was being nice since she was dating my bfs friend. the girls exchanged snaps i guess and they talked a lot without me knowing…
one day friend tells me she is pregnant. she misses a birth control shot and her boyfriend finished in her. she said she didn’t want him to and she doesn’t know what to do. and sure enough she is indeed pregnant. her family didn’t have much. they were about to be evicted… no one worked… it was a tough situation. she considered abortion and i told her, i will support you no matter what you decide. either way i am here.
i went to the mall one day with my bf and his friend and that other girl. we got to talking and she started saying how my friend can’t get an abortion because that’s wrong and it’s murder and idk what else. i didn’t like that she was saying that. i told her it was my friends choice no matter what.
my friend was supposed to go for an abortion. says she went. then she tells me they said she was a day too late and they couldn’t do it. i said it’s okay, i will be here to help! i spent the rest of her pregnancy finding the baby clothes, buying them groceries so she doesn’t go hungry, and so much more. i stepped up as much as i could.
my friends bf got into an accident and i dropped everything and drove to her to pick her up and take her to the hospital to see him after o took her to buy stuff for his hospital stay. mind you, i had just gotten my license yet i was driving downtown just to make sure she got to see him since no one else was able to take her. i stayed with her a while and took her home. all that.
i even went to see her and the baby when she was born and took her whatever she wanted to eat and even took photos of the baby for her. i loved that baby and her so much. she wanted me to be her godmother!
fast forward to covid, i was sad because i couldn’t visit her anymore. i wanted to keep her and the baby safe! we still talked daily like nothing. then i found out she talked to that girl from my church (the girl that dated my bfs friend) … and i told her hay she isn’t a great person. no one at church likes her and i explained to her all the reasons why. and that she also was talking crap about her wanting an abortion and the names she was calling her like murderer and whatnot. she proceeded to get upset at me and told me not to tell her who to be friends with…. so she blocked me.
one day out of the blue a few days later she asks me why this girl (who introduced me and my then bf) was telling her how i told her her business about her being pregnant and me buying her stuff and her bfs accident …. and im like ? what? and it comes out that my friend and my bfs friends ex were so pressed that they went and messaged someone who they knew i wasn’t talking to. we talked like one time ages ago and i was talking about my friend a bit with no details. but they go and text her and she spills how i told them all this and so my friend gets mad and says she doesn’t like me doing shit for her because i’m just gonna throw it in her face later. i was confused. but i couldn’t force her to talk to me. so i gave up trying to explain and reason and she blocked me on everything.
comes out the 3 girls met up just to talk shit. the third girl i mentioned who they messaged to get info from ended up not talking to them anymore and she told me how they’d talk about me and pull up my social medias to make fun of me and my now partner.
I also found out she lied to me about the abortion… she wasn’t late to get it. she didn’t even go because the girl manipulated her into not getting it because she convinced her that she would be a murderer. literally convinced her to keep a child she couldn’t support and did nothing to help yet i spent time and money making sure her fridge was stocked and the baby had clothes.
what’s fucked up is the told the girls that the groceries i got her she didn’t like or didn’t eat yet i literally still have the text message of the stuff she wanted, brands and all… and i literally got exactly what she wanted. that really helped me realize that i shoukdnt do shit for anyone because no one will ever appreciate it.
it’s also funny that her boyfriend or whatever messaged me about 2 months after this happened trying to hook up. he said he was sorry she did that to me. that he told her not to do it. and then said he wants to meet up to hookup and that he always thought i was hotter and that he only stayed with her because she needed someone LOL. so messed up. but anyways…
this whole situation caused me to spiral and almost attempt suicide. i ended my relationship as well but that wasn’t as painful as losing my best friend …. i’ve never felt a pain like that before. it hurt so much. and it still does hurt to think about. i ended up in the psych ward 3 months after my best friend blocked me. i’ve been different ever since.
the third girl i mentioned is now cool with me and we are on good terms. she apologized for engaging with them and talking to them. she assured me that what they did was wrong and i never did anything wrong in my friend ship with my best friend.
did i do something wrong? it’s been 4 years now and i still wonder what i could’ve done different.
i live in a different state and im in a great relationship now and life is great but i still miss having a close friend like that. no friendship will ever compare to the one i had with her ….
please tell me if you think i did something wrong i really want to know.
it’s eating away at me again …
***this all happened 4 years ago but she did reach out to me about 2 years ago from her dads facebook letting me know that he passed away since he really liked me a lot and i did talk to him every so often and when i would visit and take them food. it was kind of her to do that but the extent of the conversation was just that he loved me and that she wanted to let me know because he would want that. that broke me even further that she knew her family liked me yet chose to leave me anyway.

So this is my first attempt to trying to actually get these photos back, and I would appreciate any help I can get in understanding what I'm doing wrong. I've content creators use this, in order to get their Myspace photos back. They were even able to get some of their Myspace bulletins. I remember my url, and it's definitely the correct url. Since when I type it in, my page pops up, but all the pictures are gone. Since my face did that thing where they cleared all the photos.
The reason I want to have these photos back, is because my best friend from middle school and high school passed away on May 1st. I want to get these photos for her parents, as I know they don't have them. I have some really good ones that I took, when we were really into photography around 2008-2010. The last time I remember logging into my myspace, was around 2010-2011. The photos were still there at that time. So I would assume that they're somewhere in the ether. I'm just not doing it correctly. Any help would be greatly appreciated, as honestly her death really has rocked me. It would help with the grieving process to have these photos.
💞

Hi! So normally I can tell the difference with context clues but with this stray we're fostering I don't have many. When we got her in she wasn't even 5 pounds, extremely sickly, but very friendly. We've been taking care of her, found her a good adopter that was personally know who will be taking her in late summer. We've had her for about a month now, last time we took her to the vet to get checked out for fur loss (determined to be caused by calicivirus and dead fleas) she was officially 6.01 pounds! I assumed she had a leg injury as she tends to hiss and get upset if she's held a certain way but it didn't seem to bother her enough to warrant an x-ray (didn't wanna get one unnecessarily bc they're expensive and we know her soon to be owner will gladly pick up and take care of what we can't.)
I send her future owner updates at least once a week and sometimes once a day to keep her in the loop. I joked recently about how much the cat bloats after eating. I just got back from a trip and I noticed she was rounder than when I left and the person who was taking care of her noted so too, assuming she was just eating too much. When I picked her up today in the way I normally do, she hissed a lot and swatted at me when I put pressure on her belly area. (She wasn't upset she was telling me she didn't like that and immediately calmed down once she was set down :) No struggle during holding just upon picking up. She's a good cat I don't want to make her sound mean. :( )
It just occurred to me that there a chance she might be pregnant as she's not spayed (something the future owner will have done as spays are often around $500 with our vet, closer to $1k if it's a spay abort) and it is around the time she would be starting to show. I assumed with the state she was in when we got her that her body would've terminated any pregnancy to try to heal herself but saying that aloud I realize how silly that sounds.
I can try to get an above picture of her tomorrow as we're settled in bed and I don't want to bother her but here is a side by side of the day we got her in and shortly after her most recent vet appointment. Keep in mind the second photo is literally RIGHT after she ate.
Granted she is eating a lot and I'm pulling back on how much she's eating now that I'm back to managing her food (wanted to keep it simple for her temporary care taker). She was being given two full cans of wet food and roughly 1 and a half measuring cups of dry food, she doesnt eat all of it, we just provided options. I'm bringing her down to half a can of wet food and 1/2 a measuring cup of dry food. Before the change is implemented she would sometimes barely touch the wet food to SCARFING down both cans, most of the time she slowly eats through the hard food over a week and a half, eating far less than 1/4th cup in a day. But some days she eats the dry food instead of the wet food. So there's definitely opportunity for her to be getting fat. (Want to clarify that much food we were given the okay to give to her by our vet to get her weight up and help heal her tongue ulcers as we used to have to make her soft food into a slurry but she was still determined to eat the hard food sometimes. We give all our other cats 1/4th cup of dry food and a little wet food for some liquid in their diet. :) )
I plan to call and schedule a vet appointment for next week (so it's after we get paid) for an x-ray for her legs anyway, but I'm asking here for any tips or insight or things we should be looking out for! Advice is appreciated thank you!!
(If it helps, all of our other cats are fixed and she's kept separated from them bc of her calicivirus. We got her April 20th which is when the first photo was taken. She had a large upper respiratory infection, severely ulcerated tongue, severely underweight, and general pain but that all has been treated with exception of calicivirus as it's been explained to me that it's a chronic condition and not exactly can be cured. But we are managing it! We have handled other fosters including a pregnant one, we were in an okay financial situation when we took this one in and right now it's a little rocky but will be okay now we're budgeting better we just need to wait for more paydays for things to even out. No matter what she will get the care she needs and she will be taken to the vet, I'm just looking for input until we can get her to her vet appointment without completely breaking the bank :) )
Third and fourth photos are to show her face when we first got her (she was a cuddle bug and did not want to be alone) and most recently! :) as you can see she's doing well health wise!!!
So what should I watch out for to see if she may be pregnant or just fat??? Both there's equal chance of in my eyes, we don't know her backstory other than she's less than a year old and was outside until someone caught her and brought her to us, even then they hadn't seen her before so they don't have any history either on her.
I can try to answer questions! Sorry if this is too much detail, I care about her a lot and want to give information that may help in figuring things out about her!!!